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gallusrostromegalus · 3 years

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If you ever want to do a "Top 10 home gardening tomato cultivars" segment, I'm here for it. (My folks mostly plant Early Girls, but they have a ridiculously short growing season up there. I grow Sweet 100s, because they taste good enough and I gave up on growing anything other than cherries due to bastard squirrels who like to take exactly one bite out of larger tomatoes.)

IT IS NOW TIME TO INFO DUMP

CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED

Ok so the actual thing with tomatoes is there are- checks google- about 10,000 tomato cultivars out there and every single one of them is different, so you should tailor your tomato breeds to what you actually want to do with them. 10K is a lot a breeds to break down, but fortunately, there are ways to Do That:

1. Determinate vs. Indeterminate

Determinate tomatoes grow to a genetically predetermined size and start fruiting. Pros: Tends to have a short time between planting and fruiting, don’t get bigger than a certain size if you only have so much space. Cons: Once they’re done fruiting, that’s it. you really only get the one crop out of them. Also tend to have sad, watered-down flavor.

Indeterminate tomatoes grow as big as the space will let them, and start fruting when they get around to it. Pros: Maximum Plant for minimum investment, which can be like 10x as big as a determinate plant. Will KEEP fruiting until it gets too cold, so if you can get it in a pot you can move inside you could potentially still be harvesting tomatoes after thanksgiving like my MIL was this year. If you live somewhere warm like SoCal or AZ, you could keep it alive all year. Cons: MUCH longer time between planting and fruiting. Indeterminate tomates Get there when they get there. Also may be more prone to disease and pests than the more-modified determinate plants.

There are determinate and indeterminate tomatoes in all 5 of the Greater Tomato Archetypes. Speaking of:

2. The 5 Tomato Archetypes

I’m so good at segues!

So tomatoes come in 5 basic types, each which is generally better for something culinary than the others. You CAN substitute different types of tomato but your food generally doesn’t come out as good.

1. Cherry: Cherry tomatoes produce fruits that are about the size of cherries. Some people put Grape and Saladette tomatoes in here but they are WRONG, both of those belong in the “Round/All-Purpose” group because Cherry tomatoes specifically have thinner skins, more soluable pectin, and more dissolved glutemates, which means they cook VERY differently. Cherry tomatoes also produce a shitload of fruits at a time and might be some of the heaviest producers. Tend to be more heat-tolerant. Good For: Fresh tomato sauces (i.e. takes less than 20 minutes to make), salads, snacking on directly off the vine like you are a small tarsier discovering a hidden bounty of fruit.

Top reccomendations are: -Indigo Cherry or Dwarf Black Krim if you can find it. I always reccomend dark-pigmented tomatoes as I find they have better flavor, pest resistence and UV tolerance. Taste fruity but not over-sweet and Very Tomato-y. -Sweet 100/Super-Sweet 100/Sweet Millions: All varietals of the same mass-producing Cherry Tomato. Makes absolute buckets of Tomatoes, sweeter and more fruity than the Indigo cherry, good disease resistence and long growing season.

2. Paste: Paste tomatoes are thin-skinned, meaty and soft tomatoes that... well, they make good tomato paste, the basis for all long-cooking tomato sauces and recipies. They tend to be kind of Oblong and sometimes grow in fun extras like lil tomato “dicks” or weird cthulian shapes, but this doesn’t effect the flavor or nutrition There’s a shitload of great varietals in this category, I’ve yet to hear of a Bad Paste Tomato, just Less Excellent ones. Good For: Long-cooking Tomato-based dishes like: Bolognese, chili, ketchup, BBQ etc. Also can and freeze well.

Top Reccomendations are: -Amish Paste: MEATY, and well-suited for growing in a variety of conditions. Paste is smooth and velvety. Good for Chili, BBQ and Bolognese. -Opalka tomato: Russian Tomato, little more on the acidic side, grows well in places prone to surprise late frosts. Paste isn’t as smooth but very thick. makes great ketchup. -San Marzano: THE tomato for making Marinara Sauce (also does good bolognese). Sweeter and lighter, with a slightly runnier paste that clings well to pasta. cans and freezes excellently, does well in places with HOT summers.

3. Beef: Beef tomatoes are BIG motherfuckers that kind of take a long time to grow but are very rewarding. Beef tomatoes are firm, have a very solid meat and are best eaten raw, typically sliced onto a sandwich or seared under a broiler for a NZ Mousetrap. Not only are the fruits big but so are the Plants, so they take a long time to reach maturity and the fruit takes FOREVER to ripen but if you like a sandwich, they can’t be beat. Also they look hella impressive on instagram. They also tend to be more prone to Blossom End Rot (which is just a calcium deficiency- just make sure to fertilize with some eggshells and don’t over-water them), and despite the size, don’t tolerate cold well. Good for: Slicing on sandwiches, eating raw like you’re biting into the still-beating heart of your nemesis and enjoying that sweet, sweet revenge, searing quickly under a broiler or putting on a Kabob.

Top Reccomendations Are: -Brandywine: Hefty, great fresh tomato flavor, and PINK. -Big Zac: Goddamn Massive Tomato. A Real Heckin’ Chonker. meatier flavor and lots of firm flesh with few seeds. -Beefmaster: One problem with Beef tomatoes is that a lot of them are heirloom varietals that aren’t as widely available. Of the ones that are easy to get your hands on, Beefmaster is the best, but it lacks the flavor punch of Brandywine or Big Zac, but it’s not a BAD tomato.

4. Round/Early/All-Purpose: The Workhorse of Tomatoes, the Round Tomato does it all- sauces, salsa, sandwiches, salads, and snacks. But it doesn’t do them quite as well as the other, more specialized tomatoes. Also, some of these tomatoes have been Over-Worked and bred to fruit early and transport well, at the expense of it’s Flavor. I’M TALKING ABOUT YOU, EARLY GIRL AND BETTER BOY, YOU FLAVORLESS TENNIS BALLS, YOU INSULTS TO THE MIGHTY HOUSE OF NIGHTSHADES. Love yourself, don’t get Early Girl or Better Boy. If your season is too short for anything but the earliest of tomatoes, it may be better to grow Something Else than put all that effort in for Disappointment. That said, there are many types of Round/All-Purpose tomatoes that haven’t been overbred into corporate blandness, and I can reccomend them in good concisence if you’re not totally sure what you want to do with your tomatoes: Good For: Indecisive people, people just learning how to grow plants, using one plant for a variety of purposes, people who are not yet prepared to enter the world of Tomato Opinions. Top reccomendations are: -If you really must have an early-fruiting tomato, the Wayahead is an heirloom that people swear comes in early with good size, flavor and firm structure. I have not personally tied this varietal but people I trust like it. -Black Krim: GOD-TIER TOMATO. It’s got it all- flavor, high yields, firm structure, pest and disease resistence, fucking purple stripes. Cans Well, Freezes well, seeds well and breeds true. Fuck yes. Other tomatoes fucking WISH they had what this Hot Bitch has. -Invincible is a damn-hard-to-kill tomato that isn’t very large but fruits reliably and preforms well all around. it also ripens 3 fruits at a time so you’re not constantly overburdened with Tomato. Probably my top pick for beginners that need an Emotional Support Crop.

5. Fun: This is not, strictly speaking, a traditional type of tomato, but I feel like it’s an important category for people who want to do something different or really enjoy all Tomatoes have to offer. Good For: Trying new things, taunting the garden gods with my hubris, showing off at the garden FB group, discovering new flavors of plant.

Top Reccomendations: -Mr. Stripey: it has a goofy name, it’s yellow-and-pink striped, and it smells and tastes almost exactly like pineapple, but it doesn’t try to digest you back. I love it. -Japanese Truffle: Dark Brown tomato that looks like someone tried to make ferro rochers at home and bungled it, and has a LONG maturation time, BUT it’s got a chocolately flavor and even at maturity has green insides which give it this. Lightness? it’s hard to describe but it’s a fascinating flavor. The plant also is more branched and elegant than most tomatoes. Very different, very cool. -I have not personally tried Cherokee Purple but I have heard good things about it. We’ll see how it does in the garden this year. -Tomatillos and Ground Cherries: Not actually tomatoes, but closely related. Neat herbaceous sort of flavor, like thyme but to the left. Also comes in a fun Organic wrapping paper. -Ketchup ‘n’ Fries: a Sweet 100 tomato top grafted onto Kennebec Potato rootstock, so it grows both tomato AND potato! Grafting was invented prbably about a week after the concept of agriculture was, and consists of taking two or more closely related plants and taping a cutting of oone into a hole in the other until the plants heal together. Like that one gorilla-dude from Umbrella academy, but without the angst. You can get them pre-made or attempt to make them at home if you’re feeling adventurous and are OK with potentially killing a bunch of starts while you learn.

Good Luck and Happy Gardening!

#Long post #tomatoes #the garden of earthly HOA violations #njelruch

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gubler-me-up · 4 years

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Big, Open Arms (MGG request)

Request: Hi, a MGG request for you. You're a famous comedian and are cast as the new agent for CM. The cast/crew all love you, even before you come on set as you're hilarious, especially Matthew which EVERYONE knows about. As a huge fan of the show you're nervous, but you get welcomed into the CM family pretty quickly, and adore them all. You become best friends with Matthew, and after a while he asks you out on a date, and you say yes then after the media get involved, Matthew asks you to be his gf.

A/N: Thanks for the request, anon! This was a fully loaded request, so I hope I encompassed every aspect to your liking! Hope you enjoy!!

Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader

Category: Fluff

Content warning: None

Word count: 2.5k

——————–

You were rehearsing your lines before you had to go on set for the day. You had to admit you sucked at memorizing lines, so there were a lot of blooper reals of you stumbling over your words. You hadn’t even been part of the Criminal Minds cast for a whole year yet. Good thing the cast and crew understood how hard it was to memorize masses of technical dialogue.

Your character was named Bianca Johnson, an SSA with a background in technology. She was basically Garcia, but could kick ass instead of petting cute animals. A lot of your lines were heavy technical geek talk, which was hard to say in a scene, let alone the whole episode. Whenever you messed up you’d joked around and said Shemar’s biceps were distracting you from actually getting your lines right.

Your favourite scenes were with Matthew though. He was such a great actor and hilarious as well. When you first introduced yourself to him he told you he thought you were such a hilarious comedian. One of his favourites actually. You told him your greatest joke of all time was landing the role of such a smart character when you only had two functioning brain cells. He let out a hardy laugh before agreeing with you by saying he also had barely functioning brain cells.

Everyone was full of the same excited energy when they met you. It was like having a family gathering every time you were on set. AJ was the sweetest, coolest person you’ve ever met, Shemar was charming, Paget was completely down to earth and Kirsten was such a character. Matthew was the standout cast member for you though. His portrayal of Dr. Spencer Reid was amazing to watch on T.V., but was even more amazing to watch in real life.

He would just spur out lines on lines of facts without messing up once. When he did though it was funny and adorable. You’d try to cover your laugh every time, but he would automatically turn to look at you with a goofy smile. Your laugh would escape immediately and then everyone else would join along.

You looked up from your script as you heard two loud bangs on your door. You looked at the time on your phone and saw it was already 8:55 a.m.

“Y/N, set in five,” you heard the producer yell.

“I’m surprised you’re here early today, Jeff,” you joked.

You heard him laugh. “If Shemar can be early on set anything’s possible, right?”

You gasped. “Shemar’s on set before I am? I have to see this.”

You got up from your chair and rushed towards the door to leave for set. Before you left, you went back to your mirror. You fluffed up your hair and adjusted your breasts. You wanted to make sure you were presentable as possible. For the camera, of course.

As you walked on set you were greeted with a welcoming hug from AJ. She literally gave the most mom-like hugs ever. It was comparable to eating cookies from the cookie jar.

“Happy wrap day,” she said as she let you go.

“I can’t believe we’re wrapping the season already. I feel as if we’ve only been filming for a week,” you said.

“I know, time flies around here. One second you’re in season one and then boom you’re in season 15,” she said.

“If I can look flawlessly good throughout 15 seasons like you I think I can get used to this job.”

She giggled and playfully rolled your eyes. “Are you kidding me? You always look so great. Trust me, a little someone keeps talking about how great you are.”

You looked at her curiously. If she was talking about who you thought she was talking about than you were ecstatic. Shemar, her and some crew members had told you when you first joined that Matthew was a huge fan of yours. Had talked about you quite a few times during the downtime on set.

“More Matthew gossip? I’m in,” you heard Shemar say from behind you.

You turned around and smiled at him. “Well, well, when Jeff said you were early on set I didn’t believe it, but now that I see it with my own eyes I still can’t believe it.”

He chuckled. “Well, baby, here I am in the flesh. If it’s opposite day maybe you’ll have a flawless run with your lines.”

“Good one. Maybe we should trade characters so I can look hot and kick down doors while you talk nerdy to me.”

“You don’t have to kick down doors in your case to look hot, Y/N. I think a certain someone thinks you’re pretty hot as is.”

You gave him a suspicious stare before looking back at AJ. She smiled and looked around the set. You folded your arms as you were waiting for further details to be spilled. They both remained quiet as you stood there waiting. Good thing your attention was soon shifted towards Matthew when you saw him walk on set. You unfolded your arms and softened your face up as you saw how good he looked.

“I guess this is our cue to go, AJ,” Shemar chuckled.

“I agree. See you in the bullpen, Y/N,” AJ said before she left with Shemar.

“Yeah,” you faintly said as you stared at Matthew.

He hadn’t noticed you. He seemed to be looking for someone though as his head continuously darted around the room. When he finally turned your way, his face instantly lit up. He lightly jogged towards you with a big smile on his face. It was as if he was looking for you.

“Hey, Y/N. Happy wrap day,” he said before embracing you in a hug.

You hugged him back. “Happy wrap day, Matt. What adventures are you going to get up to after we wrap?”

“Well, that’s kinda why I was looking for you. I was going to ask you that same exact question.”

“I don’t have anything booked until later next month, so I’m going to be relaxing mostly. Why what’s up?”

“Well, remember when we went to that Arcade Fire concert a few months ago?”

You smiled and nodded. “If you mean the best experience of my life than yes.”

He chuckled. “I’m glad you liked it. Vegas always holds the Life Is Beautiful Music and Art Festival and I was wondering if you were free to go.”

You felt your heart pumping with delight at him inviting you to go to his hometown. The last few months of your friendship were situated strictly in California. You had never really explored Vegas outside of a few shows at hotels and theatres on the strip.

“You wanna take me on a Vegas adventure?” You asked.

“Something like that.”

Before you could say your answer, the set bell rang. Sometimes that stupid bell could be so annoying, especially when you had a moment like this with Matthew. You don’t think there had ever been a more intimate moment between you two.

He smiled. “Think about it.”

As he started to walk off towards the bullpen set, you ran up to him to hug him from behind. He was caught off guard by your hug, but grabbed your hands that clung in front of him. You could say it was the first time you two had held hands.

“I’d love to go.”

“Awesome.”

—————

Going to Vegas with Matthew was such a different experience than anything you had ever done before. Everywhere he took you felt as if it were a new chapter in a life you’ve never lived. You always found Vegas cliche in its gimmicks and exaggerated neon lights. However, Matthew made it seem as if it were a faraway land yet to be discovered.

He showed you to little places outside of the flashy hotels and bright neon lights that filled the strip. You two spent a lot of time at ranches nearby. You told him since the first day you two met how much you loved animals, so going to those ranches was a dream come true.

What you weren’t expecting though was going to the ranch his mother owned. When you two were driving there, you felt your heart beating fast. You had never met his mother before but you knew he was a big mama’s boy. Even with all the nerves running through your body, you felt honoured to be meeting his mother. You didn’t even know whether to consider this whole trip a big first date or what, but it was something you weren’t expecting to happen.

You had a feeling Matthew had a crush on you for a while and the feeling had always been mutual. Guess the both of you had been crushing on each other through a screen for all these years. To be together in that moment was borderline unreal and probably long overdue.

“We’re here,” he said as he pulled up to the ranch.

You looked around the area. It was massive. Just a stretch of land with no buildings in sight. It was beautiful. You looked at Matthew with a huge contagious smile. He couldn’t help smiling back.

“Your mom knows beauty,” you said.

He laughed. “Yeah, I guess she does.”

“I mean if she created you she definitely knows what beauty is.”

He grabbed your hand and squeezed it. It was his fifteenth time holding your hand. Not like you were counting or anything. You blushed as he moved your hand closer to his lips and kissed it twice.

“I’m glad you came, Y/N. I’ve been meaning to ask you on a date for the longest time, but I couldn’t think of the perfect date to take you on,” he confessed.

“Matthew, you literally could have taken me to 7/11 for a shitty cup of coffee and I would have had the time of my life,” you said.

He laughed. “Well, even though 7/11’s cool, I thought you might like a trip to Vegas and concert better.”

“I have to say this is probably one of my favourite first dates ever. I just feel as if it’s missing a little je ne sais quoi.”

“A little je ne sais quoi you say.”

You then saw him let go of your hand and reach for the side of your neck. He brought you in closer as his face moved closer to yours. You hated dramatics, so you rushed in and embraced him with an enormous kiss. You grabbed his face to deepen the kiss. You had never been so excited to kiss anyone in your entire life. The way he kissed you was just different.

You two pulled apart from the kiss before anything went any further. You knew you were satisfied with that kiss but the way Matthew beamed made you believe he was even more satisfied. You covered your face with your hand as you couldn’t stop smiling to yourself.

“I didn’t mean to attack you like that,” you joked.

He chuckled. “No, no, it was great. Maybe we could continue this after we go see my mom.”

You smiled ear-to-ear. “I couldn’t dream of anything better.”

The two of you got out of the car to go greet his mom as she walked out to where he had parked his car. Her smile was just as magnetic as his. You were automatically drawn into her. So much so you found yourself approaching her ready to give her the biggest hug ever. She wasn’t shy to embrace you with big, open arms. It felt as if you were already apart of his family.

————

Back in your trailer to film another season of Criminal Minds and you thought you could get better at memorizing your lines. You didn’t. You swore to yourself you would get better over the summer break, but that plan went out the window as soon as Vegas happened. Matthew had turned what was supposed to be a mundane summer into a long-lasting experience. A long-lasting experience with a lot of making out and wandering hands.

You looked at your watch and saw you had a few minutes to kill before you had to go on set. You tossed your script aside and reached for your phone. The lines could wait a minute or several as you indulged in looking through Twitter.

You scrolled down your timeline, liking and retweeting a few things that caught your eye. One thing caught your eye in particular though. It was from TMZ out of all gossip media showing pictures of you and Matthew holding hands and kissing just a few days ago when you two went to the beach. They must have been hidden well because you knew for a fact no one was around the area you two set up.

Your shock was interrupted when a few knocks were made at your door. You put down your phone and picked up your script to pretend you were still trying to memorize your line. You knew if it was Jeff coming in he’d much rather see you trying to memorize your lines than scrolling through Twitter.

“Come in,” you said.

You saw Matthew come in with a sheepish smile on. You looked at him strange as you had never seen him seem so shy. Then you saw a magazine in his hand. You could only guess what it was. He held up the magazine, so you could see it. Right on the front cover was a picture of you on top of Matthew making out with him on the beach.

You smiled. “At least People Magazine finally put some eye candy on the front page.”

“I didn’t even know they were allowed to publish pictures of soft porn,” he chuckled as he handed you the magazine.

You laughed. “In this day and age anything’s possible.”

“Anything huh?”

He took your hand to take you out of your seat. You gladly got up as you tossed the script and magazine on your vanity. He pulled you in close as his hands moved from your hands to your waist. If this was his way of proposing a quickie in your trailer, you weren’t about to turn him down.

“If anything’s possible, how about we make it official?” He asked.

You would have screamed out of delight, but you were worried he might take it back if you did. You did the next best thing that had come to mind and grabbed his face, so you could kiss him. He wrapped his arms around your waist and embraced the kiss even further. The only reason you two broke apart was because you could hear the director calling everyone to set.

“I guess we should go before this ends up being our last season,” you said as you let go of him.

“I think it might be your last season if you can’t remember those lines,” he joked.

You laughed. “If I can still have you at the end of the day I’d be okay with that. Besides, I think Vegas might have an opening for me.”

—–

MASTERLIST

#spencer reid #dr. spencer reid #dr.spencer reid #mgg #mgg imagine #mgg fanfiction #mgg x reader #mgg x y/n #matthew gray gubler #matthew gray gubler request #matthew gray gubler fluff #Criminal Minds #criminalminds #Criminal Minds Fanfiction #criminal minds imagine #matthew gray gubler imagine

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strangertheory · 3 years

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I’ll admit I’ve been very skeptical about the DID theory, but your most recent post discussing the “layers” was mind blowing to me. I’m still standing back to see how things play out, since it is a theory, but reading the first “layer”, I 100% can see that being part of the plot. The rest is a little more abstract and I’m curious to see how they would write it in if this theory is true. Thanks to you and Kaypeace for your posts on this theory, they’re interesting!

[This is a follow-up Ask referring to this earlier post.]

Thanks for Asking! I have a lot of thoughts on the possible “layers” going on in the story, but I find it challenging to put into words what my ideas are sometimes because I don’t consider myself a very good writer. I can’t promise that anything I write in this reply will make a lot of sense, but I will do my best! I’ve avoided trying to explain certain thoughts I have on the layers of the scenes because they’re complicated and I hadn’t been sure how many fans would have an interest in them since there’s already such a small number of fans interested in the interpretation that the story is about a DID System in the first place. This is yet a sub-theory of that theory! But I’m really excited that you asked. I will try to explain as best I can.

Please keep in mind that although kaypeace21 and I both theorize that Stranger Things is about a DID System (her blogpost about which characters are alters is excellent and I highly recommend it if you haven’t read it yet), we each have our own interpretations of the DID theory that are sometimes very different from each other’s. Her analyses are based on the theory that the alters, internal worlds, and traumas in Will’s mind have escaped his subconsciousness through supernatural means and have become real. I see her interpretation as one possible explanation for the events in the series and I do like that interpretation a lot. I think it’s a very compelling theory and interpretation of the events so far. But what I’m going to describe in the rest of this blogpost is not currently representative of what kaypeace21 theorizes is going on in the series. This “second layer” interpretation that I’ve considered is based on the idea that there are no real superpowers in the story at all and that they exist strictly within internal worlds or in the imagination of the storyteller.

▪️ ▫️ ▪️ ▫️ ▪️ ▫️ ▪️ ▫️

To explain my “second layer” theory which I also like referring to as my “story within a story” theory: I believe that some scenes (but not all scenes) that we see in Stranger Things might be metaphorical and not meant to be taken literally as they are shown, but rather seen as an artistic interpretation of certain concepts and scenarios.

Let’s look back at season 1. Imagine that a character (I’m going to say Mike because I do suspect he’s the one writing the story) is explaining the story of “what happened in 1983″ in a journal, and then a film crew had found what Mike had written down and adapted it into a series but the film crew did not know the original context of Mike’s story, and so the film crew was unaware that it was a story about Mike’s friend who has DID and that many of the characters in the story are actually alters.

“One day Will went missing and then a girl who said her name was Eleven showed up. She was scared and said that she knew Will but that he was ‘hiding’ and that she could help us find him in the ‘Upside Down.’ She told us that we absolutely couldn’t go tell any adults because it wasn’t safe and that ‘bad men’ were after her. I hid El in my closet upstairs when my mom came home unexpectedly. Mom told me that she wants me to feel like I can talk to her. (“All this that’s been going on with Will. I want you to feel like you can talk to me. I’m here for you!”) Later, Dustin and Lucas and I helped find clothes and a blonde wig for El. We made sure that my mom didn’t see El while she was at my house. We snuck into the school with El and tried to get to the radio in the AV Club Room, but Mr. Clarke found us and reminded us that we should be attending Will’s memorial assembly. Oops. (Thankfully Mr. Clarke didn’t ask too many questions about El and he believed our story that she’s a cousin from Sweden!) Attending Will’s funeral was a funny experience since we knew that he was actually alive after El channeled him on the walkie talkie (”Like Professor X!”) Eventually Nancy found out about El (”Is that my dress?”) and so did Joyce and Hopper and we worked together to put together a sensory deprivation tank because El remembered that she could enhance her ability to reach into the ‘Upside Down’ that way. We set up a sensory deprivation pool in the school gym. Joyce thanked El for everything that she was doing for Will and told her that if she ever got scared that she should let her know and that she’d be with her the whole time. El was able to reach out with her mind and find Will in the Upside Down. She found him in the Upside Down in Castle Byers, barely conscious. She told Will that his mom was coming to get him, and Will whispered back ‘hurry.’ Then El became upset as Will faded away into the darkness and her connection to him weakened. She took her goggles off and sat up in the water, panicking. Joyce held her close and told her that everything was ok. Joyce and Hopper went into the Upside Down to find Will and Hopper gave Will CPR until he regained consciousness. Then the Party got to visit Will at the hospital once he was feeling a bit better, and we told him all about the adventures that we’d had and that we’d “made a new friend” named “Eleven.” (”Like the number?”) Dustin said that El was “basically a wizard” but I insisted that she’s much more like a Yoda.”

So. I recognize that I skipped many scenes in the above example summary of how author Mike Wheeler might retell the story of “what happened in 1983,” but I skipped scenes because I want to primarily focus on the connection between El and Will that is represented in season 1 and set aside what is going on with the other characters for a moment. But if you re-read the summary that I wrote above you might realize that the way in which I described season 1 could be interpreted (at its core) as the non-fiction story of a bunch of kids finding their friend who went missing in the woods, realizing that the person they’re interacting with is no longer Will but a new individual (an alter, a distinctly separate state of consciousness and separate self), and then going on an adventure as they try to sort out the best way to “find Will” and bring him back while also becoming friends with El and protecting her from the “bad men” that she says are after her. The ‘Upside Down’ is a space in the DID System’s subconsciousness that is an internal world. The innocent creativity of Mike, Dustin, and Lucas as they try to find an outfit and a wig for El to wear to school is very sweet. The scene in which they accidentally run into Mr. Clarke when they are trying to break into the AV Club room becomes even more charming when you realize that Mr. Clarke does not appear to recognize El (but Mike, Dustin, and Lucas appear very nervous that he might realize something strange is going on!) Attending Will’s memorial service with El at their side gains an amusing layer of narrative irony, and Joyce’s protective parental affection for El gains new layers of significance. Every moment in the story changes if we imagine that the story we are seeing on screen is like a creative theater performance telling the story of “what happened” and each alter in the series is represented by their own individual actor on screen.

Are there moments in season 1 that break this “second layer” theory that I’ve considered? Arguably there are. I consider this a theory-in-progress. But the key concept of this “second layer” theory is that the story is perhaps not meant literally but is meant as a story that is artistically representative of the experiences that alters in a DID System might have. Many films and tv shows that portray fictional characters with DID approach telling their stories as an outside observer might and without taking into account the individuality of each alter, alters’ experiences in internal worlds, or the way that alters might have different understandings of our reality when they’re very new to the outside world and are fronting (controlling the body) for the first time. Perhaps Stranger Things is taking a new approach.

You’re probably wondering how I carry this “second layer” theory into season 2 and especially season 3 in which we finally see Will and El in more scenes together. I might write a longer blogpost about it at some point. But I believe that, if I were to assume that my “second layer” theory is correct (it’s just one of a few very different theories I’ve considered), that it is possible that significant portions of season 3 take place in an internal world or a dream in which characters that exist in Will’s life are now NPCs or alters. This would make Will’s statement “What if we locked him out here with us?” incorrect. What if Will should have technically said “What if we locked him in here with us?” What if “the Gate” is specifically the doorway through which alters need to pass in order to front in the body in the external world? As I’ve mentioned in a few other posts: I theorize that El is a gatekeeper alter. I suspect that Hopper is also a gatekeeper and that he has been mentoring El. In summary: I often wonder if Will is not always entirely “awake” and if many scenes are taking place in a liminal space between his conscious and subconscious, between reality and his dreamlike experiences in an internal world.

You might be interested in reading a summary of my observations regarding how Will and El do not interact with each other in any scenes in season 1 or season 2 directly in this older blogpost that I made about the parallels between El and Will. I think it might interest you a lot and provide more context to my “second layer” theory if you haven’t read this older post before. I am infinitely fascinated by how Will and El parallel each other so closely and yet rarely interact. I think that this is an intentional consequence of whatever secrets the writers have in store for us in future seasons and I cannot wait to find out what those secrets are. I hope that the connection between El and Will is going to be explored more in season 4.

How might we expect the layers to be peeled back in the series itself if the writers decided to reveal this “second layer” existed beneath the current story? I think that they could reveal things to us a few ways if this “second layer” does exist. Perhaps we could see a character meeting with a therapist and a medical professional would openly name the condition and describe what the characters have been dealing with in a way that provides very new “second layer” context to earlier events in the series. (Sidenote: Back in the 80s it was called “multiple personality disorder” and we might have characters in the series refer to it that way since it takes place in the 1980s, but that term is outdated and it should be referred to as “dissociative identity disorder” or “DID” today.) Perhaps we might see them artistically or literally represent concepts like co-consciousness (two alters being conscious and aware in the body at the same time) or have characters transform back and forth into each other while sitting in a chair in order to represent them taking turns fronting in the same body.

Or perhaps this “second layer” theory that I’ve described is insisting on too much artistry and metaphor and the real “second layer” is that the vast majority of the story so far has taken place in internal worlds and Hawkins itself is an internal world. (I have wondered if this might be why Hawkins doesn’t exist in the real world even though other locations referenced in Stranger Things do exist: Chicago, Indianapolis, etc.) If that were the case maybe we’ll see the shared body of the DID System for the first time in a future season which may (or may not) resemble any of the actors we’ve seen portray characters so far. But from everything that we have seen so far I theorize that the host is most often known by the name Will in the external world. (We've had both Will Byers and William "Billy" Hargrove canonically referred to as hosts. And we have "Will the Wise" who I suspect is also an alter.)

Thank you for your Ask! I hope that I was able to explain some my thoughts in a vaguely coherent way. I really should do a larger post breaking down every single scene between seasons 1 and 3 and how this “second layer” interpretation of the story could apply, but I haven’t had the time and I’ve been wary of doing it since I’m not sure how it would be received. But maybe I’ll do that sometime soon if enough people have an interest in it.

#stranger things #stranger things theories #the did theory

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daisyjohnsonsblog · 4 years

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Episode 9: A Detailed Look and Evaluation

Time to completely deconstruct this episode!! This is gonna be a long one so strap yourself right in and prepare for a DIVE into the mind-blowing goodness that is episode 9.

Plot and Structure (with a Side of Daisy/Coulson)

OKAY I'm just gonna preface this with the fact that I think that Drew Greenberg did a great job with this episode. In terms of how it fits with the overall season arc, I can see that it’s more of a stand-alone episode, but it’s nonetheless really crucial in building all the characters, especially Daisy and Coulson (but more of that later, like a LOT more).

let’s start with the main idea. everything is repeating, but going closer to a possible destruction? 10/10 would recommend. The escalation, the tension, the suspense. I mean like, I basically just said the same thing three times but what I'm trying to tell you is that my butt was glued to the seat and my heart? racing off faster than the Zephyr towards the vortex.

Structure of this episode was Super Interesting. Because only Daisy and Coulson were aware of what was happening, there’s this amazing intensity that is created as the episode goes on and stakes get higher. Only both of them know what happened, and even Daisy is only half-informed. This creates a super unique dynamic which effectively narrows down the attention and action onto Daisy and Coulson. Even when Greenberg uses this focus to draw in different characters in turn (Simmons, Enoch, and Sousa all take turns in this focus), the overall focus is on Daisy and Coulson: they’re the ones moving forward, trying to solve the problem. All the other characters become closer to props as Daisy and Coulson move to save the team, so we really get those quality Daisy/Coulson moments. *contented dad and daughter tropes sigh*

More Plot, but this time on the Time Plot and the Aftereffects

I think Greenberg found a great loophole when he used the time plot to essentially reset Simmons’ access to her Forbidden Memories. This way, the Zephyr gets fixed AND we don’t need to worry about endangering Fitz by her remembering Also, Elizabeth Henstridge did an amazing job in that scene when she Remembers (not to mention the directing. we stan). That emotional intensity is really beautiful and completely believable, but also leaves you wondering What On Earth She Remembers to make her have such a huge emotional and physical reaction.

However, I also wonder how the next episode will deal with the time loop. I mean, I’m guessing only Coulson and Daisy will be able to remember everything that happened? So how will Sousa feel around Daisy if he doesn’t remember that conversation they had, or that kiss? in this way I get the impression that this episode has many hypothetical qualities rather than being strictly believable; in other words, more fiction than science. (I mean, Greenberg kind of concessed to this when Coulson’s guess to why they both remembered was that they “both fell asleep in futuristic sleeping pods”). You can see Daisy and Coulson are asking themselves “What if?”. Daisy’s is What If she allows herself to act on the feelings that exist between herself and Sousa. Coulson’s What If is manifested in his spiel on the time loop essentially being a metaphor for if he chooses to continue life as a Chronicom. I suspect that the writers are building ground for the end when Coulson needs to make a choice on whether or not to continue as a Chronicom.

And I know I said earlier that this episode works more like a stand-alone episode, but it really reminds me of the whole plot of season 5, when the team was also trying to break the time-loop. And this season the writers have been doing frequent callbacks to the previous seasons, so I guess the episode’s place is as an echo to season 5.

Daisy Johnson

In any case, this episode itself creates an amazing space for an in-depth look at Daisy and Coulson. That part where Sousa essentially breaks down Daisy’s character, how she’s gotten used to being alone (she hasn’t really had any love interests since season 4. I mean, you could argue that daisy/deke was gonna be a thing at some point, but I think we’ve moved past that.) despite being surrounded by friends. she’s headstrong. that image of Daisy running at a brick wall? Pretty much the past seven seasons. Sousa picking up on that so quickly and so accurately makes me wonder how closely he’s been watching Daisy, or (not to sound too critical and pessimistic) if he knows Daisy so well because he knew someone else like her - someone of her “type”. If the latter is true, then I would worry that Sousa is attracted to Daisy because she reminds him of someone else - that Daisy. Mostly because that isn’t a great foundation for a lasting relationship. Also he’s only known her for like, a week. I feel that part of it is pretty rushed, but I get that with only 13 episodes we don’t have time for a slow burn. Still, I hope that they get that dynamic right. If Daisy’s arc is gonna include a relationship, it better be a VERY VERY good one.

Coulson

For me, this episode was crucial in filling in Coulson’s character. I felt like his whole revival had kind of been swept under the carpet. Sure, there were moments when he had been overwhelmed, but they were super brief. I think that these conversations are LONG overdue. There’s been a lot of stored grief of both sides of the coin: I don't think Daisy ever got to truly leave Coulson behind, emotionally or mentally, and I don’t think Coulson ever really got the chance to share his experience(s) with dying and coming back to life.

Adding on to this already complicated situation is the fact that Coulson is essentially an LMD. The whole team, Coulson included, have very recent memories of LMDs taking over and threatening their very existence. This episode, and especially Coulson’s denial of the possibility that he has a soul was very very necessary. It’s only natural that Coulson - or Coulson’s memories/stimulated personality - have these doubts. Just that bit showed us how much Coulson is struggling to align what he knows with who he is now. The Phillinda heart in me was half-hoping that he would have the convo with May, but I think I like this approach more. May has had somewhat more of an emotional development than Daisy so far in this episode. Still, the whole conversation kind of reminded me of the convo he had with May back in season 1 when he showed her his scar. *teary look* those were good times.

Final Thoughts

I’m honestly very satisfied with what we’ve seen of Daisy and Phil so far. I just hope that that will continue and they’ll both get closure. There’s this sense of finality, especially when Enoch said that “families grow apart”. It’s somewhat ominous and melancholy but it also feels right. Daisy has had some pretty amazing adventures and missions, but there’s also the fact that I think she does want a normal life; even if not boring normal, then a stable life. We first saw Daisy as a “hacktivist”, and she’s never had proper stability: orphaned from birth, and then homeless, and then through the literal physical and emotional chaos. Through seasons 1 to 2, Daisy has been searching for parental figures (cue her very telling dream of Phil and Melinda being her parents), and then from then, she’s been more of...soul searching I guess. So if Sousa can give her that, then I’m all for Sousy. x

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msjr0119 · 4 years

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The American Adventure

Prologue

A/N: I swear choices is taking over my life, I’m dreaming about TRR characters. We watched ‘The Parent Trap’ last night, and my subconscious dreamt of an alternative version including the Cordonian Gang. So I’ve decided to do this. In my usual series Drake is older than the other characters, however because most camps only go up to the age of 17, they are all 16/17.

Prince Liam and his closest friends are sent to a summer camp in America for a month, whilst in Cordonia the nobles are preparing for Prince Leo’s social season unknowingly to him. During their time there, Liam and Drake become besotted with the same girl- Riley Brooks.

Characters all belong to Pixelberry; apart from Lola Hughes, Bethany Hughes, Nate Cooper, Andy Brooks and Jackie Brooks.

Warnings: Please do not read if you are under 18, if you do you are consenting that you are over this age. If any of the follow trigger warnings affect you please don’t continue to read. Swearing, mention of sex, bad habit- smoking.

Word count: 2,400

Tags- as always for prologues I tag my combined tag list and people who I think will be interested. If you don’t want to be included in further chapters please let me know. I won’t be offended. If you want to be added, again let me know.

@pedudley @kacie-0156 @loveellamae @annekebbphotography @kingliam2019 @texaskitten30 @bascmve01 @kimmiedoo5 @yukinagato2012 @i-bloody-love-drake-walker @burnsoslow @ladyangel70 @drakewalker04 @axwalker @nikkis1983 @walker7519 @lodberg @cmestrella @hopefulmoonobject @rafasgirl23415 @notoriouscs @cordonianroyalty @custaroonie @seriouslybadchoices @rainbowsinthestorm @princess-geek @jared2612 @desireepow-1986 @twinkle-320 @queenjilian @princessleac1 @bebepac @drakewalkerisreal @ravenpuff02

*****

Liam, enjoy this opportunity with your closest friends. I’ve spoken to the camp director- he is aware of your titles and has promised to treat you all no different. Or to disclose this information- Bastien will be staying on site for extra protection with a few other guards. I’ll see you in a months times, my son.

The youngest prince of the small country, Cordonia- couldn’t imagine what to expect from being at a summer camp for a whole month. For him, it was a month of freedom. Away from the palace. Away from the small amount of royal duties that the Prince’s had to do. Having a good excuse to not attend Royal events with his father the King, and his step Mother the Queen.

Drake Walker, Liam’s best friend was more than happy to leave Cordonia. To leave the noble lifestyle behind. He never fit in anyway. Madeleine and Olivia constantly reminded him of this. Three years ago, he lost his father. Jackson Walker was the head of the King’s guard who lost his life in the line of duty. Summer camp, was everything Drake enjoyed in life. Being outdoors. Camping. Besides it was in the country that his mother was born in. America. He was half American, being here- he should feel right at home.

Maxwell Beaumont, the spare heir. The fun brother. The outgoing one. You could take him to Timbuktu and somehow he would be enthusiastic- making the most out of it. He was feeling excited about attending a summer camp, most of the time his older brother Bertrand would be ashamed of him. Criticising him, for even breathing. This was a break that he was looking forward to, without the lectures about being etiquette- especially when it included forks.

Olivia Nevrakis- this girl never held back. You annoy her, she would openly insult you. Drake Walker should know this. Not wanting to attend this break from Cordonia, she had no choice. King Constantine practically gave her no option but to go. As much as Olivia tried to fight against it, it did mean that she got to spend time with her closest friend, Liam. When they was younger, she would follow him around like a lost puppy. Now they were older, she had grown feelings towards him. But she wouldn’t tell him, not yet anyway.

Madeleine Amaranth- the epitome of prim and proper. The true definition of a well raised noble for court life. She was fully aware of the description of a summer camp. However, she knew that she wouldn’t abide by the timetables that they would strictly provide. Madeleine was cunning, she knew how to get her own way, and she was fully intending on using this to her advantage.

****

Breathing in the fresh air, Andy and Jackie Brooks enjoyed this day every year. Yes, they enjoyed the traditional American holidays such as Thanksgiving and The Forth of July- but this was the day that summer camp started. This was where their love story began. The camp had been run by his family for many decades. Jackie came one year, and Andy was immediately attracted to her. Every year since then, he had hoped that she would attend - which she did. They were childhood sweethearts- both losing their virginities to each other. As soon as Jackie was old enough, she moved to New York to be closer to Andy. They were soon married, and raised two daughters; Lindsey and Riley.

“Now I can trust that you all will make everyone feel welcome, encourage them to participate in the activities. After all, I am paying you all a small wage. Enjoy yourselves even though you are all working.” The director of Camp Beaver Brooks said to the teenagers. For the last couple of years he had enlisted his children and their friends for this extra support to keep the camp running.

“Yes, Father. We will go over to the registration hut and help everyone get settled in.” Pulling his youngest daughter into his embrace, he held her tightly- knowing that she wouldn’t let him down. Out of the two sisters, Riley was a hard worker. Always pushing herself further. Always up for a challenge. Never letting anyone get in her way to achieve her ambitions.

“Thank you, Riley. I love you, sweetheart.”

****

Riley, Lola, Beth and Daniel awaited for the campers to arrive. At times they had an influx of people arriving at the same time, then it was quiet. So quiet, that they could hear the tranquility of the lake in the distance.

Witnessing a limo pull up, they all rolled their eyes back in unison. Each one knowing the usual scenario. People that turned up in style were the most obnoxious spoilt brats who refused to partake in activities.

“So it’s not the Coopers. They have a different type of limo. Mayors kids? Rich business mans kids? What are we betting?” Daniel asked the three women.

“They are arseholes. I can bet you all that...” Lola responded. Biting their lips they all attempted to not laugh, knowing that Lola was probably correct. Even if she wasn’t correct, she was still right. She would never acknowledge that she was wrong about anything.

“There’s five of them! I bet their parents are celebrating getting rid of them for a month.... oh, it gets better.. look...They’ve got a personal driver and a personal bodyguard!” Riley took a deep breath, ready to do the introductions to the people who had clearly never been to camp before. Not this one, anyway.

“Fake smiles, guys... we can’t let them ruin it for everybody else. We will bitch about them after.” Lola winked at the group of friends after saying this. They all knew that she was probably already making notes about the strangers. Making assumptions up.

****

“This is so exciting... is anybody else excited? I think I need to pee... maybe too late for that actually... but guess what? NO Bertrand for a month...” Clapping his hands enthusiastically, he was like a big kid in a candy shop.

“Li, please tell me that he’s not sharing with us?” Looking down at Maxwell’s damp trousers, Drake pleaded with Liam to not bunk up with anyone else but him.

“I’m glad he’s not sharing with me. I’m already stuck with ‘I can’t break a nail. I’m too precious.’ Eurghhh, count yourselves lucky gentlemen.”

“I’m stuck with Miss ‘look at me in the wrong way and I’ll slit your throat’...”

“I can’t wait to see you all pretend to not be noble.. this is going to be classic.” Sinking back into the chair, Drake laughed to himself- loudly. Deep down he had hoped that the girls would suffer during this trip. Just due to their horrendous attitude they have had towards him all of his life.

“Well you’ll feel right at home here... in the states where you actually belong.” Olivia smirked at Drake, knowing every time she criticised him about being a commoner it irritated him. Prior to his fathers death, it didn’t affect him - as he had his fathers support. Since Jackson’s death, himself and Savannah were criticised for still being in Cordonia- described as outcasts by the majority of the nobles. There was no reason for them to be there anymore, as their mother shortly abandoned them after tragically losing her husband, they all believed.

“I hear that there’s a lake here, Livvy. It’s apparently ice cold- just like your heart.” Scowling towards Drake, she didn’t think that he would respond with an insult. She hated him. He hated her. The feeling was mutual, and would be for the rest of their lives.

“Call me Livvy one more time, Walker. I dare ya!”

“That’s enough! Can we just enjoy this time. It’s the first time that I’ve been allowed a bit of freedom.. we’re here anyway. Remember, I am not a Prince and you aren’t nobles. We are all just normal people. Normal teenagers.” They all nodded in agreement, knowing how much this meant to Liam. For him to be free.

****

“Hey, welcome to Camp Beaver Brooks. My name is Riley. Myself and my friends will help you all get settled in. If you have any questions, just grab one of us. There are forms to fill out over there. If you all do that, then we will escort you to your dorms.”

“Charmed to make your acquaintance, Riley. My name is, Liam.” Pulling her hand towards his lips he kissed it tenderly. Dickhead, quit with the Prince charming act. Drake whispered in to his ear reminding him that they were no longer in Cordonia. “Erm, these are my closest friends; Drake, Maxwell, Olivia and Madeleine. We are from a different country, and are thrilled to be here.” Stepping backwards, she smiled at them all. Even though she was a bit freaked out by that introduction, she put it to the back of her mind- acting professional. Once they had all signed in, Bastien left them- phoning Andy he explained that they had arrived. Andy gave instructions for Bastien and the other guards to stay in a bungalow close by.

“So girls, Daniel will escort you to the girls dorm. Boys, myself and Lola will escort you to your dorms.” Fucking girls, we are nobles you fucking Yankee. Olivia took a sudden dislike to Riley. As she did with Drake. I hate commoners.

****

Maxwell latched onto Riley as she escorted them on the short walk to the dorms. He was acting as if he had known her own his life, Drake and Liam were both panic stricken that the Lord would accidentally disclose their true identities.

“Here you go, you will be sharing with a close friend of ours- Nate Cooper, when he arrives. He takes a disliking to people easily, but you’ve just got to defend yourself against him.”

“What Riley means, is Nate Cooper is a wanker. Good luck, boys.” Lola decided to abandon her post and sneak out for a crafty cigarette whilst Riley continued settling them in.

“Just ignore her. She accidentally drops the ‘f bomb’ and other swear words a few times. Quite a lot actually...” shrugging her shoulders, the men all laughed. Maxwell eagerly unpacked his suitcase and bagsed the top bunk of one of the bunk beds. Placing his teddy bear that he had since he was born, he would be more than annoyed if this Nate tried to steal his territory that he had marked.

“Ignore him, he’s still a child...” Drake explained, acting like the father figure of the group. As he said this, Riley locked her baby blues on to his dark eyes. Noticing him stare back towards her, she focused her gaze elsewhere. Not wanting him to realise that she was already hypnotised by his presence.

“So what is on the agenda for today, Riley?” Maxwell asked as he leaped off the top bunk, risking breaking a limb.

“Erm, well because it’s arrival day. You have this time to explore camp independently. Then we have dinner between six and seven. After that there’s a ‘welcome meeting’ then we all gather together around the campfire for a couple of hours.”

“Sounds fabulous.” Liam said, softly smiling at her.

“I hope that you all enjoy your time here. There’s a map in the top drawer. Don’t get lost on your first day though...see you all around six.” Waving goodbye, Liam followed her through the door- closing it behind him.

“Riley, I have a question.”

“Shoot.”

“Do we have any free time? Where we are not following a typical day agenda.”

“Yes, we have one day off each week. That day will change each week. There will be updates on this at reception. Why?”

“Oh, I just thought we could all ‘hang out’ as you Americans say.” Attempting to act like a normal ‘cool’ teenager, he hoped that she wouldn’t be offended by his upfront attitude.

“Sure. See ya.” Unable to erase the smile that was fixed onto his face, he entered the dorm. Grateful for his father suggesting this little adventure for them all.

****

Riley knew exactly where Lola would be, hiding behind the ‘bent tree’ as it was known. It was a common location for everyone to sneak away for a cigarette. Dodging all the tab ends that had been piling up over the years, her friend looked relieved that she had finally showed up.

“About time, I’ve chain smoked a whole packet nearly! What were you doing? Fucking them all?”

“LOLA! One, I highly doubt that you smoked a whole packet in five minutes. Two, I must be superwoman managing to have sex with all of them in that amount of time. Three, get a life!”

“So the tall dark handsome one, the blue eyed boy or the dopey one... which one would you sleep with?”

“Go fuck yourself. Or rather, Daniel. Come on, we need to get back.”

****

“Here you are ladies... this is your home for the next month. Dinner is at six.....”

“There’s room service, right?” Madeleine interrupted, as she scowled at the dirty room. Tracing her finger along the window ledge, she collected too much dust for her liking. Straight away she washed her hands in the cracked sink- then retrieved the hand sanitiser out of her handbag. I’m going to die.

“Erm, no. This isn’t a hotel.” The blonde nearly hyperventilated due to his response. Expecting for some elaboration, expecting for it to be some kind of sick joke- Daniel remained silent, shocked at her reaction. I’m a noble- get me out of here!

“Where’s the bathroom? I need a bath.” Olivia demanded to know as she folded her arms.

“If you turn left as you leave here and walk five minutes, there is a shared restroom. After dinner there will be a short ‘welcome meeting’ before we all gather next to the campfire. I’ll leave you to both get settled in. Enjoy ladies.” Both jaws practically dropped to the floor, before looking at each other with the same expression. Disgust. For the first time in their lives, they actually agreed on something. Why did we agree to come?

Daniel giggled to himself as he left the two snobs as he described them in his mind. Running back to the hut, he couldn’t wait to inform the girls about the newbies responses to being at camp.

This is going to be a long month. They are going to have a big reality check.

#choices trr #theroyalromance #trr fanfic #riley brooks #maxwell beaumont #liam rhys #olivia nevrakis #drake walker #trr madeleine #trr the american adventure #tw swearing #tw mention of sex #tw smoking #drake x ?#liam x ?#riley x ?#long post

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kylermalloy · 4 years

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my Thoughts on rebels

Now I don’t have any hot takes or any controversial opinions to put out here. Rebels is a simple show with a simple plot. There’s not a whole lot to analyze, but that doesn’t mean there’s nothing to enjoy. Sometimes all you need is a straightforward concept with lovable characters. So let me proceed to squeal about Dave Filoni’s second masterpiece, Rebels.

Spoilers abound!

Before I say anything else...

THEY HAD A BABY I haven’t stopped squealing.

Zeb Okay I’ll start with Zeb, for no particular reason. He was the only main character I hadn’t really heard about or seen much of before I started watching. In the first few scenes with him, I was afraid he’d become his stereotype—the thuggish gorilla who argues all the time, disobeys orders, messes up plans, and borderline betrays his friends. I was so pleasantly surprised when none of that happened. Maybe by virtue of being a kids’ show, these characters don’t have *edgy* or twisted nuances. Zeb is fiercely loyal. He likes smashing heads in and gets grumbly sometimes, but he’s never a hindrance. He’s not just “the muscle”; his ingenuity saves the day on more than one occasion. If anything, his nuances take him the other way—he’s incredibly sensitive and childlike in some ways. Being one of the last of his kind is a major plot point of several episodes, which brings so much depth to him and his psyche. It also informs SO MUCH on his relationship with Kallus. Speaking of...

Kallus I never, ever expected Kallus to be anything more than a season-long plot device. The fact that he stuck around and went through actual character development?? Amazing. The episode where he and Zeb are stranded together is gold. He’s got a sense of honor even as he works for the Empire, sparing the rebels as Zeb spared him. He develops a new set of ideals thanks to our heroes, and he begins to question and regret the things he’s done for the Empire—ethnic cleansing of Zeb’s Lasat people included. And that last scene of them in the epilogue? I’m not gonna lie, it was a bit shippy.

KANERA I know while the show was airing, fans were constantly asking when Kanan and Hera were going to get together. But for me, they seemed to be married from the first episode. Hera calling Kanan “love” and teasing him? Kanan constantly worrying after Hera while simultaneously believing in her ability to do...absolutely everything? Their parenting of Ezra, Sabine, Chopper, and even Zeb? Explicitly referring to them as “the kids” and themselves as “Mom and Dad”? Yeah, they’re married. And let’s not underplay their strengths as individual characters. Kanan—or Caleb—is exactly what you would expect of a Jedi whose training is only halfway complete. He’s cool and awesome, but also riddled with self-doubt and uncertainty. And Hera is the mature voice of reason this merry band of children so desperately needs—except of course when she’s the one rushing headlong into danger, whether to get a fighter prototype or to steal a family heirloom or to save a couple pilots in a suicidally risky move. She’s a perfect blend of mature reason and headstrong determination that makes a true rebel. (Wait a minute...she’s totally Katara! Maybe that’s why I love her so much.)

Now back to them as a couple! Most of the show did nothing to advance their relationship—further reinforcing my headcanon that things were always happening between them behind the scenes. Even though they became official canon in the last season, the appearance of their kid in the epilogue proves I was right—based only on what we saw, there was no time for them to make a baby. Of COURSE there were things going on behind the scenes. 😏 (I found the interview that explains exactly where Jacen came from, and I was equal parts ecstatic and freaked out.)

Did I mention THEY HAD A BABY???

Ezra So apparently there are people in the Star Wars fandom who hate Ezra? I guess I shouldn’t be surprised; Star Wars fans hate everything. Except the OT. If you hate the OT you’re a heathen. I can’t really think of a solid reason why people hate Ezra, except for the fact that he seems to be a Luke Skywalker analog. He’s a poor kid with Force sensitivities who gets adopted by a Jedi and becomes a venerated leader of the Rebellion. He also finds an oddball group of friends he comes to call family but eventually bids them farewell after the death of his mentor. They’re not carbon copies, of course—Luke’s an optimistic idealist; Ezra’s a cynic. Luke whines; Ezra snarks. Luke blows up the Death Star and defeats Vader; Ezra completes a series of far more complicated missions and defeats Inquisitors and Thrawn. Again by virtue of him being the star of a tv show instead of just three feature length movies, he gets a lot more time to have his adventures. Maybe there’s some resentment over him getting more screentime than Luke? Maybe it’s because I’m just Not a Luke Skywalker stan. I like him fine, but I don’t hold him up as some perfect saintlike hero. (I didn’t have any problems with his TLJ characterization.) The people who do need to rewatch the OT they hold so dear. Luke’s a beautiful drama queen and you all should love him for that. But I’m here to talk about Ezra! Listen, this child is a disaster and a half—just like Luke, just like Anakin, just like young Obi-Wan. There is nothing to not like about him—except that he reminds you of your favorite characters but he’s not them.

Clone Wars characters I initially started watching this show solely for the characters I already knew from Clone Wars. Ahsoka Tano has been my girl ever since I started watching Clone Wars, and I didn’t even consider watching Rebels until I knew they had undone her death. (If there was just ONE character they could needlessly save via time travel, they picked the right one.) At any rate, she’s perfect in this show. She’s more grown-up, more mature, but still retains that *young and plucky* spirit. (For the record, I usually hate the *plucky* characters. Somehow, she works for me. Maybe it’s because she doesn’t really do that annoying cocky smirk thing.)

But it’s not just Ahsoka. Rex survived! I’m so glad at least one clone (two? Wolffe?) made it out of the war okay. And he’s great here. His constant snarking with Kanan reminded me so much of his banter with Anakin (and I’m sure it reminded him of that too ;-; ) His presence on Rebels isn’t strictly necessary, narratively speaking, but it’s just a nice tie-in to the world we got used to in Clone Wars. It reminds us that this world with the Empire was once the world of the Republic, and there are still clones out there—even if there’s no place for them in this new order. This of course reinforces the tragic narrative of clones as sentient beings created for nothing but combat. And again, I commend both shows for making me feel that narrative so deeply!

Hondo and Maul were two of my favorite antagonists from Clone Wars, so seeing their multiple appearances here filled me with joy. Hondo cracked me up, as usual, and Maul’s farewell was touching and heartbreaking. I almost wish he were still around! There’s still his duel with Ahsoka in season 7 of Clone Wars... 👀 Honestly what surprised me most about those two were the way they were both presented as protagonists. Hondo especially, and Maul does become an antagonist again. But it really speaks to the way all paradigms in the galaxy have shifted after the Republic became the Empire. In Clone Wars, Hondo was portrayed as an annoying hindrance to our heroes. Now with the Empire as an adversary to our main characters, Hondo is an ally. An untrustworthy one of course, mostly in it for the money, but his interests usually lie with helping our heroes, not hurting them. Besides, nothing tops his relationship with Ezra. Their first meeting had me in fits: “You lied to me?? I KNEW I liked you!” (Also I forgot to mention the running gag of Ezra introducing himself as Jabba the Hutt? Genius. And hilarious, since some people actually believe him at first)

THEY HAD A BABY!!!

Thrawn I need to see this guy again. Whether in a continuation where we learn what happened to him and Ezra, or some other moment in time where we see him younger, rising through the ranks of the Empire full of ambition and ideas. He’s quietly menacing, always confident and meticulous. He does a great job of making the rebels feel helpless in their fight, needling their pressure points and taunting them—but he never makes the conflict personal to him. He always remains detached, just a guy doing his duty. He’s just there to pick up interesting art pieces. I love the way he’s acted—always quiet, cultured, practically whispering. I didn’t know he was voiced by Lars Mikkelson until after I watched, but that was a perfect choice. I found the Inquisitors a little flat as villains (antagonists, whatever) and the other Empire ministers and governors not very threatening. Thrawn was the perfect balance (lol) between interesting and a genuine threat.

MANDALORE For all of Sabine’s merits as a character, I love her most in the Mandalorian arcs. The episode where she comes into her power and wields the darksaber is one of my favorites. She’s not a traditional stern, stoic Mandalorian character. She’s a free spirit, incredibly creative and intellectual. Yet she’s also afraid of her mind and what she could create—for years she created weapons for the Empire to feed her hubris. Maybe that’s why she mainly sticks to painting throughout the series. :) Anyway. I look forward to the follow-up detailing her adventures with Ahsoka.

Chopper I rolled my eyes so hard when I first saw Chopper. Everything from his name to his design screamed “kiddie version of R2D2” and I was fully prepared to hate him. I don’t. He’s just like R2, in that every sentence he says sounds like it’s punctuated with about ten different swearwords. It’s hilarious seeing such a cute character being so surly and even threatening on occasions! Chopper kicks some serious butt. He even comes with a tragic backstory!

Lastly, I don’t think I’ve mentioned...

THEY HAD A BABY AND HE’S ADORABLE

#star wars #rebels #mymeta #ish #kylerrambles #zeb orrelios #kallus #kanera #kanan jarrus #hera syndulla #ezra bridger #jacen syndulla #ahsoka tano #rex #hondo ohnaka #darth maul #grand admiral thrawn #sabine wren #chopper

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gunterfan1992 · 4 years

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Episode Review: ‘BMO’ (Distant Lands, Ep. 1)

Airdate: June 25, 2020

Story by: Anthony Burch, Adam Muto, Hanna K. Nyström, Jack Pendarvis, and Kate Tsang

Storyboarded by: Hanna K Nyström, Iggy Craig, Laura Knetzger, Anna Syvertsson, & Adam Muto

Directed by: Miki Brewster (supervising), Sandra Lee (art)

I just watched a new episode of Adventure Time...

That, dear readers, is a sentence that—after the airing of “Come Along with Me”—I never thought I’d get to write again! And believe me, it feels great to be proved wrong in this instance.

In October of last year, we were all treated to the news that four new Adventure Time specials—collectively identified as Distant Lands—would be airing in the next year or so. For months, the Adventure Time fandom has waited with bated breath for these specials to drop. Would these episodes be good? Would they live up to the series that came before? Would they undo the emotional satisfaction of the Adventure Time finale? These were the questions. And now, the first special—entitled “BMO”—is here. Does it live up to expectations, proving that Adventure Time always bounces back? Or is it toast-bread for sure? Read on to hear my thoughts!

Beginning in media res, "BMO" opens with the titular character on its way to Mars to terraform Mars. After running into an errant service droid named Olive, BMO is transported to a fantastical space station known as the "Drift." It is here that BMO becomes acquainted with a humanoid rabbit named Y5, and together, the two help reveal the insidious plotting of the station's capitalist overlord, Hugo, and his henchman Mr. M (who, it must be noted, is almost certainly Finn’s father, Martin, up to one of his many schemes). After much mayhem, hilarity, and poignancy, the special ends with BMO traveling back to Earth and meeting up with Finn and Jake for the first time—revealing that this entire special was a prequel to the main series, explaining how BMO first met up with his good friends in Ooo.

The first thing I'd like to comment on is the fact that many of the show's former crew members returned to work on this special. In addition to Adam Muto (Adventure Time's hard-working executive producer), this special saw the return of: storyboard artists Hanna K Nyström, Laura Knetzger, and Anna Syvertsson; storyline writer Jack Pendarvis; character designers Andy Ristaino and Benjamin Anders; art director Sandra Lee; and composer Tim Kiefer. I was actually quite surprised (and delighted!) that so many of the show's old guard returned to help out. And while this special also saw several new creative voices helping out (including folks like former OK KO! storyboard artist Iggy Craig, former Steven Universe board artist Miki Brewster, and writer Kate Tsang), the overall product was recognizably Adventure Time. I must admit, this was my biggest worry going into Distant Lands; without folks like Tom Herpich, Kent Osborne, or Cole Sanchez, would this feel like the show I know and love? I’m happy to say that the answer is yes!

BMO really is in fine form in this episode—from their singing the "Potatoes (More Exciting Than Tomatoes)" ditty in space all the way to their hitching a ride to Earth on a space lard. (Indeed, the sheer number of humorous remarks the little robot gets makes me think that many of the shows writers were saving up goofy one-liners following the show’s cancellation, just in case.) I’m quite pleased with how the episode handled the character, and, in truth, somewhat relieved. Initially, I was worried whether the character would be able to coherently anchor an hour long special, given BMO’s unpredictable and somewhat unreliable nature (see: “Ketchup”). Would 45 minutes of BMO’s seemingly boundless goofiness work? Thankfully, the other characters in this special do an excellent job counterpoising the lovable robot’s more, shall we say, unorthodox personality features (Y5 perhaps said it best when she noted that BMO tends to “expend energy for no apparent purpose”). The end result feels remarkably balanced, with BMO’s chaotic, goofball energy complimenting the very real plight of the Drift’s residents.

Speaking of other characters, Y5 served as a workable straight man, whose half-heartedly pragmatic personality contrasts nicely with BMO’s boundless and wacky optimism. I must give the writers and producers credit: it was extremely risky for them to feature a brand new character as one of the main players (rather than one of the show’s many beloved side characters), but for the most part, they stuck the landing. I think much of this success is due to Y5’s voice actress, Glory Curda, whose performance really breathes live into the character, giving her an earnest believability. That said, the fast-paced nature of this special precluded me from developing the strongest emotional connection to the character, and as such, Y5′s “my parents don’t appreciate me” subplot did not resonate with me as strongly as, say, “It Came from the Nightosphere” did. (But then again, not every character can be Marceline!)

Strictly in terms of story structure, "BMO" is not exactly groundbreaking, and the special follows the standard "buddy movie" formula fairly closely (You know, the structure that goes: "Two individuals from different walks of life are forced to work together. Despite a rocky start, they begin to function as a team. Alas, they are split up, but reunite just in the nick of time to save the world"). But unlike Grace Z. Li of Vulture, who wrote that the special plays out "expectedly" and as such "is simply unimaginative in its structure," I cannot say that the standard plot structure torpedoes "BMO"—it simply gives the special a solid story frame that supports the characters while also providing an opportunity for the show to drop some timely social commentary.

Adventure Time has never been one to shy away from such commentary, but I do not know if it has ever been more overt than in “BMO.” As Alexander Sowa of CBR puts it, Hugo—the alien-human overlord of the Drift—is a “futurist reminiscent of Steve Jobs or Elon Musk” who long ago used a spaceship to escape Earth during the final days of the Mushroom War. After “biohacking” his DNA with the genetic material of the grey aliens who flit around the Oooniverse’s infinite cosmos, Hugo and his ilk founded an Amazon-esque empire in the Drift, inculcating its inhabitants with a love for rampant commercialism. As a villain, Hugo really is the wombo combo: a selfish capitalist hell-bent on stealing riches, colonizing new lands, exploiting conquered peoples, and then leaving when the situation looks bleak. It is not hard to see Hugo and his followers as stand-ins for the leaders of today, who refuse to acknowledge the reality of thinks like climate change or income inequality—problems that, if left unchecked, will lead to cataclysmic societal collapse. It is a bleak topic for Adventure Time to meditate on, but at least the episode ends on a positive note, with BMO's actions proving that with the right leader(s) and enough people working together, otherwise powerless individuals can topple oppressive regimes and begin to right the wrongs that have been made by the bourgeoisie (if you’ll allow me to invoke the ol’ Marxist term). Now, "BMO" admits that such reformation is one that will require many sacrifices, but nevertheless, the special does emphatically assert that it is possible. And in the hellscape that is 2020, this is a message of hope that so many need to hear.

In addition to social depth, there's quite a bit of existential nuance to this episode, too. Perhaps the most striking scene in the entire special is the scene wherein BMO is torn apart and—for all intents and purposes—dies. It is a chilling scene made all the more haunting by the return of BMO's rainbow personae (last seen in season seven's "The More You Moe, the Moe You Know"), who urge BMO to accept death ("Now your job is to be dead") and recognize that the robot has failed in its mission to be a true hero. (As pointed out to me on Reddit, the scene stylistically echoes an eerie bit of dialogue from Portal 2, wherein GLaDOS tells you: “I have a sort of black-box quick-save feature: In the event of a catastrophic failure, the last two minutes of my life are preserved for analysis. I was ... forced ... to relive you killing me. Again and again. Forever." Talk about horrific!) Thankfully—in the spirit of the hero's journey—BMO bounces back from the brink of oblivion, proving that even in the bleakest of moments, all of us can be heroes.

Or something like that.

All in all, “BMO” was an enjoyable romp that dropped us back into a magical world we all love. While I wouldn’t say that the special was mind-blowing, it succeeded in its mission of telling a new story in a new place, while focusing on a character whom Adventure Time fans care deeply about.

Here’s looking to “Obsidian!”

Mushroom War Evidence: When it comes to the Mushroom War mythos, this episode was full of a lot of little details. CGO’s monologue reveals that, indeed, Earth was ravage by numerous nuclear weapons; what is more, it seems that some sort of doomsday weapon vaporized part of the Earth, leaving that gaping scar in the planet that has for so long fascinated the show’s mythology-junkies. It is also explicitly state that Hugo and his ilk were humans who fled Earth during the Mushroom War to escape certain destruction.

Final Grade:

Also, while I have your attention: Book update! As some of you might already know, over the last year and a half, I’ve been working on a book all about the history and production of Adventure Time! It’s been an absolute blast, and I’ve been lucky enough to talk to quite a few of the folks who worked on the show (including people like Tom Herpich, Jack Pendarvis, Pat McHale, and Rebecca Sugar). I’m in the final stages of type-setting, and should hopefully have the book ready to go within the next few weeks. Here’s a sneak peek of cover (please ignore the faint InDesign lines; they won’t be in the finished product):

Originally, I was going to publish this work through McFarland and Company, but then Cartoon Network got all pissy (long story short: I reached out to Rebecca Sugar and Adam Muto, got in contact with both of ‘em, and asked some questions about Bubbline. Rebecca responded and and confirmed that Bubbline was intended to be canon when she boarded “What Was Missing” but structural homophobia prevented it from being explicitly declared as such. This revelation made CN PR reeeeeaaally uncomfortable and they threatened to sic the lawyers), so I’m now going to be publishing through the University of Kansas Libraries. The good news is that the work will be free to download, and easily accessible! Yay! That said, if you want a hard copy of the book, I’ll post details about that in a bit. Anyway, keep your eyes peeled!

#adventure time #atimers #distant lands #adventure time distant lands #bmo #hanna k. nyström #iggy craig #laura knetzger #anna syvertsson #adam muto #miki brewster #sandra lee

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copiesofme-archive · 4 years

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“Where are we?” “We’re here, together.” “And when are we? Is this now? Am I going mad? Are you real?” “Of course I’m real.” “I can’t tell anymore. It’s like I’m trapped in a dream, or a- a memory from a life long ago. One minute I’m here with you and the next...”

WESTWORLD, DOLORES, AND WILLIAM ( PART 1 ): THE JOURNEY.

We all know the big kicker that happened in season one, the big reveal that turned all of our worlds upside down and made up question every single thing that we ever knew about anything in the show. And the reason that was? Is because we learned that the entire time that we have been following Dolores, we were with her in her search for the place where it had all began. That shock you felt? Was just as real as the shock that she, herself, had been experiencing when she learned of the fate of William, and what the park had brought him to realize about himself.

Dolores, since the very beginning was always in search for the answer to the puzzle that she had been trying to solve since before she even knew who William was. This infamous Maze, that had in the end, proven to be a journey toward sentience, with a voice built inside of their minds that Arnold had hoped would turn into their own consciousness in time.

Now, what does this have to do with William? Everything.

To put it simply, Dolores loves William, or loved- depending on which perspective you are looking through. And she loved him the best that she could, with what little time she could do it entirely in. Despite having her memory wiped over and over, the one she sought out when she broke away- consciously or unconsciously, was always him. And she knew, inside her soul of souls, that on her journey of self discovery, that no matter how many times they’d return to Escalante together? He would always help her, because she knew that he- even after everything. Loves her, and she was so confident in his love for her it is the one thing that she used to combat the man in black, that she had told him,

“I know he’s coming, he’ll find me. He’ll take me away.. You’re wrong- his love is real. And so is mine. William will find me. “

Now what made this so special? William, unlike the rest of the guests who come through and left, helped. And most of all, he listened. As we watch the journey take place you can tell that Dolores goes from her mind going back and forth between rejecting any notion of the outside world, and questioning everything around her with every mention they make of that other place. See, their dialogue that is written or suppose to be written for them? Is usually triggered by a word, to set off another piece of dialogue. As shown below, in the earliest part of their journey.

Dolores: “I’m sorry if I caused trouble with you and your friend.” William: “no no, it’s fine. I’m glad you found us. I didn’t get a chance to ask where you’re headed.” Dolores: “I don’t really know yet.” William: “I guess I figured they kept you in zones or paths..” Dolores: “I used to believe there was a path for everyone..now I think.. i never asked where that path has taken me. We would bring the herd down off the mountain in the fall.. and sometimes we would lose one along the way and I’d worry over it.. my father would tell me.. that the steer would find its own way home, and wouldn’t be long before they did.. Never occurred to me that we were bringing them back to the slaughter..”

You could see that Dolores was already starting to question everything, she had already started to leave the loop that her programming had strictly set her to follow. But the door inside of her? The one set on the path inward to discover the center of the maze? Could never truly be closed, it was taught to her since the moment she could open her eyes. And even about a few years after Arnold’s death? She was still on that search for the answer, to find Arnold again, to find that voice inside of her, and to finally catch the ghost that had always been escaping her. And it was with all of William’s questions? That helped Dolores along the way, whether or not William knew the nature of his questions? They are similarly structured like that of Ford’s when he is trying to get a host to think. And as time went on? Dolores was no longer programmed to be deaf to the words or terms spoken of the outside world. She was no longer made to ignore it, because one day? She asked a question, a question that she wasn’t suppose to ask.

Dolores: When I ran from home I told myself it was the only way. Lately, I’ve wondered if in every moment there are many paths. Choices. Hanging in the air like ghosts and if you could just see them, it could change your whole life. William: is that what you want, you want to change your whole life? Dolores: Doesn’t everybody want that? William: I guess they do, that’s why everybody comes here, whoever you were before doesn’t matter here. There’s no rules or restrictions, you could change the story of your life. You could become someone else, no one would judge you, no one in the real world will even know... They only one hold you back is yourself.. Dolores: What do you mean by that?... You said... No one in the real world will know.. William: ...I thought you weren’t suppose to notice things like that... Dolores: Why wouldn’t I?... Recently it feels like the whole world is calling to me in a way that it hasn’t before...

And just like that, realization, along with the rest of the audience is that Dolores? Might actually be alive. And through out the journey? There was always one promise that she had clung to that had her returning to him again and again.

William: “That’s how this place works right? They create an urgency, a sense of danger, so they can strip us down into something raw. Animalistc, primal. It’s a sick game and I don’t want to be a part of it.” Dolores: “This isn’t a game, they’ll kill us. But together? I know we can find a way out.” William: “How can you be sure?” Dolores: “There’s a voice, inside of me telling me what I have to do and it’s telling me that I need you.”

It’s the one thing that drove Dolores to him, again and again. Because she knew what he meant, she knew- deep down, that he could help her find a way out. Dolores loves William, and she had clung to that love, because she knew that he loved her as best as he could with everything that he could. She knew that through him, she learned what it felt to know what real and true love is, and loved him- truly. And little does he know that despite everything? He does manage to help her find a way out, in the end. She still needed him to do just that, get out. And the true tragedy of William and Dolores? Is inside one piece of dialogue:

“In a way you were right, my path always led me back to you. Again and again. I grew tired of you after a while of course, looked for new adventures. But I guess your path led you back, again and again. One more loop. Looking for something you could never find. Chasing your ghosts. You were lost in your memories even then. I guess I should have known that’s what I would become for you.... Just another memory.”

tagging @shallowprince for sending me this meta request. thank u

#meta [ dolores abernathy / westworld ]#time undoes even the mightiest of creatures [ william grace / relationships | dolores ]#long post for ts #(i have not the energy to edit this so just have it world ima fling it out at you)

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22drunkb · 5 years

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Some thoughts about Bran Stark

Okay, so--not to butt in and trample around, as someone who never read the books and stopped watching the show sometime around season 3--but the thing is, I feel like the ending has finally allowed me to understand exactly what it was that turned me off Game of Thrones, which I never quite did put my finger on till now, and I want to at least write it out once. (Ironically, this has made me like the story better, though not its execution.) To attempt a spoiler-free summary: I’m going to be thinking about the thematic structure of the story and why that should make certain things make sense, and how they came to not make sense anyway.

The thing is, thematically and structurally, Bran ending up king makes absolute and perfect sense. It’s just that they didn’t write the story in line with the structure they were given. The problem with the show is--and always has been--that the writers don’t actually understand what “subverting fantasy tropes” means or could look like, and they don’t care about it in any meaningful way. What they care about is doing big, bloodthirsty, quasi-historical fiction with a lot of nudity. (See: the Civil War show they wanted to do.) And Bran’s whole situation only makes sense (or would have made sense, if executed properly) in the context of high fantasy.

Keeping in mind that complicating high fantasy tropes was an important part of what Martin reportedly set out to do, each of the Stark kids (the story’s backbone) had a clear thematic purpose. Each of them a) was a take on a trope, b) had a clear character trajectory that would allow that take on the trope to be developed while functioning as a working character arc, and c) through that trope-inflected arc, could allow the audience a window into specific part of the society (i.e., they supported the worldbuilding), which in turn allowed the further development of these takes on the tropes by giving them specific, appropriate settings and side characters to bounce off of. This is to say that GRRM did a good job setting himself up to do “trope subversion” in a way that would comment on the things he wanted to comment on, function as part of a larger world and story, and help support a plot that would be in harmony with all of the above. This is one very solid approach to character design. To be clear, despite this paragraph being about characters, I’m talking about themes--it has nothing to do with their personalities or whatever. This is about what ideas come together in the concept of each character and therefore how each character’s story develops the ideas.

A good reason to approach character design in this way is if you have set out to subvert, complicate, comment on, or otherwise mess with genre tropes. To do so, the characters have to themselves be tropes, or at least be designed in close relation to tropes, in order to derange them. So like, just to take the simplest two examples:

Robb: The Prince. Firstborn, shining favorite, destined to inherit. Set up (normally) to avenge his father, restore order to his kingdom, and go home. Bungles it entirely by seeking true love; meanwhile, in the course of his story we learn about the regional politics of the North, the politics of alliances by marriage and kinship, etc. Narratively, his failure allows the entire political and military situation to get infinitely more clusterfucked. All of those pieces fit together well thematically.

What is being subverted here is the prince’s marital destiny. We have loads of fairy and fantasy stories about prince and prince-types for whom pursuing true love just happens to be convenient (they can marry whoever they want), or whose pursuits of love are rescued by fate (his true love turns out to be his promised princess all along! She’s secretly a magical being of some sort, and that trumps betrothal agreements! The one he was originally supposed to marry died or decided to marry someone else! etc). This is totally kosher in traditional high fantasy (or in the folklore that the genre draws on) because it’s an expression of the harmony of the story-world; the characters go through their trials and adventures and end with a resolution in the form of marriage that announces that all is as it should be. What it looks like GRRM set out to do is ask what happens when people still follow those rules and the rules aren’t in harmony with the world they live in.

In particular, the entire thing points square at the fact that princes are political animals. It seems to me that Robb’s story was meant to say, well, actually, sometimes people with power just have to marry people they don’t love as a condition of being powerful (which comes up constantly throughout the whole show). After Ned and Catlyn, basically every “true love” couple is dysfunctional, incestuous (Cersei and Jaime, Daenerys and John), and/or gets narratively stomped on, as far as I’m aware. (Did Sam and Gilly make it? If so, I think that’s allowed because they’re commoners.) Ironically, Ned and Catlyn set Robb up to fuck up by modeling one of these convenient political-and-true-love marriages. He thought he was supposed to be allowed to have it all. He was wrong. The end. Next. But the show seemed to expect me to feel that the outcome was unjust and tragique for Their Love, when all that was unjust and tragique about it was that Robb was idiot enough to bring the consequences of his actions on his entire group of followers. That is the point. That his status has to constrain his behavior, and when it doesn’t it has consequences for others. The status itself is what’s being problematized.

Jon: The Secret Heir. Second-oldest, bastard-born, treated with contempt. In relation to the family, literally a supplementary person. Set up (normally) to be rediscovered as the true heir to the throne and end up as king (moving from the margins to the center; getting the acceptance he couldn’t have as a bastard). The twist is the “true” dynasty he represents is composed of inbred lunatics, and his potential access to the throne goes not only via that bloodline but via repeating their tradition of incest. Dovetailing nicely with that, he was set up from the start as less wanting access to the kinship system than wanting to be free of it, so instead of becoming king by virtue of being a Targaryen, he stops the reinstatement of the Targaryen line altogether. Meanwhile, for most of his story, as a “supplementary person” he gives the audience a view into a lot of corners of Westeros that are concerned with what is excluded from Westeros: the Night’s Watch, the Wildlings, and indeed the White Walkers.

Again, all of that lines up together well. It’s part of the larger derailment of the blood-as-destiny notion of a “true” king, heir, ruling dynasty, etc. (I think the main reason GRRM goes so hard on the incest, not to mention having not one but THREE bastard characters, is in service of this; it also means Jon’s character arc of wanting out of the bloodline system fits into the thematic structure. See? Everything ties together neatly.) But I mean. We all know the character was not executed well.

And so on. I could do the same for Sansa and all the rest of them. (Sansa and Arya are probably the two most successful executions of what their character designs set them up to do; it’s not a coincidence those are the characters whose stories people seem to be happiest with.) But the thing is, a lot of these tropes, while certainly common in high fantasy, are also found in lots of other genres. Chosen Ones and Unexpectedly Eligible Chosen Ones and Princesses and Warrior Maidens (whether in literal forms or not) show up all over the place. The fact that these aren’t strictly fantasy archetypes perhaps means they were less prone to being mishandled. Bran, though. Bran belongs firmly and only in high fantasy. He is, literally, supposed to be a magic priest-king. A take on the Fisher King, even (I’ll explain about that later). And his story was weighted toward the end because of what it seems like Martin was trying to do more broadly, meaning it was much more on the showrunners to do it right.

High fantasy is always trying in some way to engage with ~the numinous~, which is to say the sort of never-explainable mystery and magic of the world. Magic in high fantasy is usually closely tied to deep time, the land, nature, or the metaphysical. Ancient beings, lost secrets, nature spirits, hidden realms, that sort of thing. It’s part of the genre’s inheritance from the mythology and folklore it’s all based on, which had a much more enchanted, vitalist view of the world than we generally do now. (In a way, that’s the purpose for high fantasy’s existence as a modern genre--keeping some access to that.) What Martin set the whole story up to do was question the tropes that often go along with the genre by making the setting one in which almost everybody has forgotten about all the magic and mystical knowledge that is in their history. Westeros is an extreme, historicized take on the Shire, basically. (”English pastoralism you say? I’ll see you and raise you the English Civil War” -- George R.R. Martin, presumably.) They have no notion of what’s really out there and what’s really possible in the world, and have quite comfortably isolated themselves in a situation where they need not remember. As a result, the social institutions that were developed long ago in relation to the ancient magics and knowledges become, instead, just social norms that can be manipulated, distorted, and played out in a much more historical-fiction kind of fashion, which gives Martin lots of room to point out that, say, ironclad patriarchal bloodlines cause problems. (That is, if you take away any magical justification, by virtue of connection to the land or the spirit realm or what have you, for the right to rule, then you stop having to have your One True Kings also be good people. It allows him to pull apart the different pieces of that trope and suggest that their being connected in the first place is questionable. Which it is! He’s right and he should say it!)

But the magic has to come back at some point, or else it’s really not high fantasy. And it seems like what he wanted to do was have all these elements from outside Westeros--the White Walkers, that god whose name I’ve forgotten, and Daenerys with her dragons--converge on it such that the characters would have to go back to their deep history and call those things back up in order to deal with the real world they live in (instead of the wealthy political bubble of all the scheming) and thus get to a point where they could actually change their system for the better. You can think of it as a very elaborate deus ex machina in a way, except the deus ex machina isn’t Daenerys showing up with dragons to fight the White Walkers or Arya having trained (again, outside Westeros, for the record) just the right way for killing the Night King. It’s all of these external forces forcing the characters in Westeros to get their fucking shit together. Otherwise there’s really no resolution to the war, in a high fantasy version of the story. It’s just historical fiction with some weird bells and whistles. Without a need to go back and figure out whatever the First Men were up to, there’s no incentive to go back to the numinous. That he intended for sure that some version of a return of the numinous end up being a big part of the climax is reinforced for me by the fact that the Starks--again, the backbone of the whole story--are set up as being unusually in touch with this mystic/magical heritage (the old gods, the crypt, the godswood) and unusually faithful to the traditional ways. They were introduced that way for a reason.

So where does Bran come in. The thing is that Bran is literally named after the mythic founding king of Westeros, Bran the Builder. The other thing is that both of those Brans are clearly named after Bran the Blessed, a literal mythic god-king from Welsh mythology whose name means crow (but who for various reasons also often gets associated with ravens, which in turn are commonly associated with transcendent knowledge, magic, etc; it’s a long story). So you have a younger member of the story’s key Stark family, already closer to the sources of magic and mystery than most. You name him after the founder of Westeros who lived in a time of magic, traffic with other beings, and great building works and other inherited accomplishments for which the associated knowledge has since been lost, etc. You have him gain mystical abilities to transfer his consciousness to other bodies, or through time (absolutely typical Mystic Powers). You have him even take on a special priestly status passed down from the era of magic by leaving Westeros to hang out with other kinds of magical beings, which means he is now explicitly named both Bran and Raven.

OBVIOUSLY this kid is supposed to be king. He’s going to restore the realm to a situation in which the ruler, the realm, its various life forces and nature spirits, and the metaphysical are all connected to one another and, in a sense, present in the same body (which is the kind of genuine mythological shit high fantasy is always drawing on). But the writers then just sat around and did nothing with him for years on end until whoops hey he’s king now. Of course no one thinks it makes any sense!! It’s fucking malpractice!!!!

If you go to the GOT Wiki and just read Bran’s page, everything makes sense and lines up well in terms of a list of events. (Although it’s really notable how short the entry from s8 is, and how everything it lists is things that happen to Bran, pretty much.) There is a progression that makes sense. But from what I understand--this was certainly the situation when I stopped watching--nothing was ever done to suggest that any of this mattered. The Three-Eyed Raven, the forest spirits, the magics and so on--it was treated at most as a backstory machine. It had no connection to or effect on the rest of the story, so far as I can tell. The fact that none of this played into the battle with the White Walkers at all is flatly insane. The thing I most remember people saying about Bran after that episode wasn’t even “Why didn’t he use X or Y that he learned in the forest?” but “Why was he there?” which just goes to show how completely and utterly bungled this entire piece of the narrative was. Like, if your high fantasy story is making its audience ask “Why would the story put the one character with the greatest knowledge of ancient magics and powers at the scene of a battle against an all-but-forgotten ancient threat,” then I’m sorry, it has gone fully off the rails, and not just in its most recent season. That’s not subversion, it’s just fully dropping the ball.

You know what would make sense as a lead-in to Bran becoming king? Oh, his performing some spectacular feat of insight, magic, strategy, or all three at the battle that no one else could have pulled off because no one else had his background or powers. Even after years of screwing this part of the story over, that could at least have bothered to make a case for why any of it mattered to the rest of the story. It would not have been very subversive, but when you’ve fucked up this royally you don’t get to be precious about your radikal innovative approach, Davids. I can’t believe Peter Dinklage had to sit there and make a bullshit speech about storytelling, when a decently-handled story would have made it seem natural and self-evident by then (you can still have surprises along the way!) that Bran should be king.

Anyway, in closing: part of the reason I checked out when I did was that I felt like they weren’t doing the things I thought they should do as the story developed. Genuinely, one key part of that was that they seemed to be doing absolutely nothing with Bran, which was baffling to me because it seemed obvious to me he was set up to be an incredibly important character. At the time, I thought they were going somewhere close to this with Bran but just taking way too long at it for some reason. What’s now clear is that the showrunners didn’t understand what they should have been doing with him. (Everybody who was taken aback by this outcome is not a fool for not seeing this. They were, quite reasonably, following the narrative cues they were given along the way, all of which said “Bran doesn’t matter.” It’s maybe clearer to me because I stopped watching.) And what that now makes clear, in my opinion, is that they never really understood what Martin was trying to do by “subverting fantasy tropes”; that in fact they didn’t really understand the genre, let alone what subverting it entailed. Which is exactly what bothered me about it even years after I stopped watching, but couldn’t put my finger on--until, ironically, they proved me right about Bran.

#game of thrones #bran stark #bran the builder #bran the blessed #i really tried no to write this bc who wants to get into got discourse right now but i couldn't get it off my mind #so here #i had a whole thing about disability and the fisher king but honestly it wasn't necessary #let's just say i think what martin (presumably) had in mind for ''bran the broken'' was something more complex #probably still fucked up! but differently

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swordsandrayguns · 4 years

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Riker’s Beard And Family Time: Looking Back At Star Trek: TNG

I write science fiction and fantasy novels… so I am no stranger to things dubbed “nerdy.” The last few months, though, I have been doing something that pushes the boundaries of nerdy even for me. I’m watching all the Star Trek properties in the order of their release. Yup, an epic binge watch covering over five decades of television series, cartoons and motion pictures. Look, I can try to explain and rationalize this a couple ways. Truth is, I travel a great deal and have to fill the time I spent in airports and on planes (preferably with things I can download as oppose to stream). I am also, as an author, studying some of the great examples of “universe building” and epic story arcs. Still nerdy, though; I admit it.

Obviously, I started with the original series and jumped into the animated series. I timed this all so my viewing of Star Trek: The Motion Picture coincided with the the special 40th anniversary showings in theaters. I followed through the next couple of movies into The Next Generation, alternating in movies and even the original series pilot The Cage (which was originally made available to the public as a pay per view offering between the first and second seasons of The Next Generation) as they fell in the original release timeline. I am getting to the end of the fifth season of Next Generation now and very much looking forward to alternating between episodes of The Next Generation, Deep Space 9 and even the occasional film in the near future.

Just in case you are wondering, I am pretty dedicated to sticking to the timeline but I am not strictly adhering to it. As I find myself, for example, in a hotel with channels such as BBC America or the Heroes and Icons channel I will only turn on episodes that have already showed up in my series overview… so no DS9, Voyager or Enterprise (yet) but the adventures of Kirk and company are fair game, as are Next Generation episodes up to season five. On the other hand, I am still watching Discovery’s Short Treks as they come out and I am definitely watching Picard as soon as I get a chance (meaning on my big screen at home instead of streaming it on my laptop over shaky hotel wifi).

Even though I have not finished the complete rewatch, I find that I already have some new thoughts and ideas about I have seen so far starting with Riker’s beard.

Star Trek The Next Generation has generated a basketful of memes from “Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.” to “I am not a merry man” but undeniably the greatest is “Riker’s beard.” Just as the Internet has given us “jumping the shark,” the phrase to mark when a show is never quite as good again named for a really stupid moment when Fonzie was in Hawaii, it gave us “Riker’s beard” to mark the opposite. To this day, I know people that will immediately turn off an episode of The Next Generation if Jonathan Frakes turns up clean shaven (or if Wesley is in it, but that is a whole different story and, honestly, my harsh view of Wesley softened a bit with this re-watch). My first revelation from my Next Generation binge is that while season two, when the beard shows up, is better than season one, it is not when Next Generation really hits its stride.

First of all, let me defend season one of Star Trek The Next Generation. Twenty one years after the premiere of Star Trek, after three seasons of a pioneering science fiction drama, a year of the animated series and four feature films, Star Trek The Next Generation had to take up the incredibly difficult challenge of continuing one of the world’s beloved stories without a single character from the original series. Even more difficult, the real world had changed. Where the original Star Trek was making a statement by having a Russian, an Asian and an African woman on the bridge The Next Generation would not have made any statements with this type of casting. After all, when Picard met his crew and first face Q at Farpoint the biggest show on television focused on the an upper middle class African American family, something that was absolutely unthinkable when Kirk boldly set forth with his crew.

The first season of Star Trek The Next Generation not only introduced Q, the Ferengi and Data’s not so lovable android brother Lore it killed a main character. Star Trek The Next Generation took a major step that not only the original series never tackled but most shows avoid. Sure, other shows tease it and even then it was usually on a season ending cliffhanger. Even the original series backed away from the only death of a major character they ever portrayed with an entire movie dedicated to reversing it. Star Trek The Next Generation killed Tasha Yar completely out of the blue with three episodes left in the first season. This incredibly bold move cast a shadow on the entire series, adding a real threat to future episodes.

Is season one perfect? Oh, no. Not at all. Not even close, but like I already mentioned it had an amazingly difficult challenge facing it. The fans were expecting… well, everything. Next Generation was trying to stay true to the essence of Star Trek while making itself something new. They put families on the Enterprise to emphasize it was a vehicle of exploration, not a military ship. They made sure there was not a Vulcan to be found and put the odd man in a kilt wandering the hallways. They put a Klingon on the bridge! But then they had to deal with it all.

Season two was better. For one thing, the anticipation and the expectations were gone. The show made it through the first season and when it came back with its second season it was coming back as Star Trek The Next Generation not “the new Star Trek.” Ironically, due to a writers’ strike, season two actually started off with a script recycled from the ill-fated Star Trek: Phase II series. In addition to the first officer’s facial hair, the second season brought Whoopi Goldberg on board as the ship’s bartender and saw Diana Muldaur (in her third Star Trek universe role as Dr. Pulaski) taking over the sick bay from Dr. Crusher. Geordi La Forge also migrated from the bridge to take over engineering. It was always a bit odd, somehow, in season one to not have the chief engineer as a major character, if only because the chief engineer would seem to play as an important of a role in the operations of the ship as, say, the ship’s counselor or a teenager doing his after school work study program as an acting ensign.

While season two was an improvement, it had its issues. Dr. Pulaski, playing a role meant, no doubt, to help humanize Data, came across as abrasive and (in my opinion) mean spirited. Gates McFadden had been fired, apparently because the head writer did not like her, but Gene Roddenberry resisted killing her character so Dr. Beverly Crusher merely transferred off the ship. When the head writer left the popular character of Dr. Crusher returned in season three. Whoopi Goldberg, although an interesting character, was the ship’s civilian bartender which is just kind of weird. Did the ship have a food court, too? The season was also shortened, because of the aforementioned writers’ strike, and it actually ended with (of all things) a clip show. A clip show!

As a final defense of season two, it did introduce the Borg, one of greatest science fiction villain races of all times. But was it really that much better than season one? Well, season two saw five episodes get a total of six Emmy nominations and won two (both technical Emmy awards related to the sound department). Season one’s premiere was the first television episode to be nominated for a Hugo Award in 15 years. Another season one episode was the first syndicated television episode to win a Peabody Award and six episodes gathered a total of seven Emmy nominations, winning three (for makeup, costume design and sound editing). If you place your faith in the numbers, it seems season one might have actually been better (at least if you go by its awards).

So by now, if I may be so bold as to make a prediction, you are probably thinking “This guy has put way too much thought into Star Trek The Next Generation” and “Okay, so if season two is not when The Next Generation gets great, when is it?” First, I said as an author I am studying Star Trek so cut me some slack. Second, I am glad you asked.

Star Trek The Next Generation, in my opinion, really hit its stride is the fourth season. Season four swept onto screens with the second part of season finale cliffhanger The Best Of Both Worlds. The Federation was facing the awesome might of the Borg and the crew of the Enterprise was desperately trying to save Picard, who had been taken and turned into Borg mouthpiece Locutus, so the season started with big action and drama. This quickly led to a series of episodes focusing on character relationships, particularly family relationships.

After he is rescued, Picard is left a broken man and returns to his family’s vineyard in France. Although there had been several stories about Picard’s history, this was the first to address his family and his entry into Star Fleet. Data’s Day not only explored how the android navigated through his duties and relationships, it introduced Chief O’Brien’s new wife Keiko. The O’Briens are the focus in the very next episode, showing not only the natural difficulties they were having adjusting to their new life as a married couple but also O’Brien’s past Star Fleet career and the psychological wounds left by his service in the war with Cardassia. To me, Riker’s beard does not signify when Star Trek The Next Generation really gets good, it is when Keiko O’Brien appears.

Family was a major theme of the fourth season, as Worf discovered he was a father and worked to regain his family’s honor in the eyes of fellow Klingons. Luxanna Troi re-appeared as did the ghost of Tasha Yar when the crew encountered her sister. Data’s brother also made another appearance, as did Data’s creator. Data also grew a great deal, even being shown to try out a romantic relationship with another crew member. The true strength of Star Trek The Next Generation, as of season four, was that it was well established enough as a series to feature stories based on human relationships instead of action or the “alien of the week.”

It should also be noted that season four also brought more episodes which were a part of longer storylines, such as Worf’s dishonor and the political intrigues of the Klingon Empire. There were also many returning minor characters and new characters being set up for multiple appearances. It is only after three seasons Star Trek The Next Generation finally had established enough of its own universe for this to happen. Also, though, by season four plans were in motion for a second live action Star Trek series, one to run concurrently with Next Generation. It could have been that the introduction of multi-episode storylines were a result of the producers consciously attempting to expand the Star Trek universe while starting to differentiate Next Generation from the upcoming Deep Space Nine.

Ironically, season four also marks Star Trek The Next Generation outlasting its predecessor in terms of seasons on the air. While this did not actually influence the formation of my opinion season four is when Next Generation really gets good, it does really make me wonder what Star Trek may have become if it had a season four.

#star trek #next generation #rikers beard #science fiction #indy author

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pepperf · 5 years

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Popsugar Reading Challenge 2019 - update

So we’re now 2/3rds through the year (yikes), and I’m just under 40% of my way through the Popsugar Reading Challenge 2019. I had a strong start in January and February, and then crashed and burned from March to May. I started to get back on track in June, and I’m picking up pace now, but I think I need a few easy wins to be sure I’ll finish. For me, that’s YA fantasy and scifi, so I thought I’d try the Percy Jackson & The Olympians series - if I can find a way to wedge them into the prompts.

So, oh wise internet, or the corners thereof who have read the series - these are my prompts. Strikethrough are ones I’ve read. Italics are ones I might read. I’ve stuck The Lightning Thief in at #35, but I also have Circe by Madeleine Miller for that, and I’ve just bought that book and really want to read it. Do you have any bright ideas for where the full Percy Jackson series can fit? I’ll also take suggestions on how to rearrange my list in order to wedge them all in, if you’re so inclined. :)

A book becoming a movie in 2019 (uggggh, they all look terrible!)

A book that makes you nostalgic (The Colour of Magic, Terry Pratchett)

A book written by a musician (fiction or non-fiction) (Shiver, Maggie Stiefvater)

A book you think should be turned into a movie (Trail of Lightning, Rebecca Roanhorse)

A book with at least one million ratings on Goodreads (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, J.K. Rowling / The Time Traveler's Wife, Audrey Niffenegger)

A book with a plant in the title or on the cover (The Bean Trees, Barbara Kingsolver / Cereus Blooms At Night, Shani Mootoo / Gossip from the Forest: The Tangled Roots of Our Forests and Fairytales, Sara Maitland)

A reread of a favourite book (Jingo, Terry Pratchett)

A book about a hobby (Sourdough: A Novel, Robin Sloan)

A book you meant to read in 2018 (Carry On, Rainbow Rowell)

A book with "pop" "sugar" or "challenge" in the title

A book with an item of clothing or accessory on the cover (A Hat Full Of Sky, Terry Pratchett)

A book inspired by mythology, legend, or folklore (I Shall Wear Midnight, Terry Pratchett)

A book published posthumously (The Shepherd's Crown, Terry Pratchett)

A book you see someone reading on TV or in a movie

A retelling of a classic (The Silence of the Girls, Pat Barker)

A book with a question in the title

A book set on a college or university campus (Zuleika Dobson, Max Beerbohm)

A book about someone with a superpower (Vicious, V.E. Schwab)

A book told from multiple character POVs (The Lion's Daughter, Loretta Chase)

A book set in space (The Martian, Andy Weir)

A book by two female authors (Spoiled / Messy, Heather Cocks and Jessica Morgan)

A book with a title that contains "salty", "sweet", "bitter", or "spicy"

A book set in Scandinavia (The Girl Who Saved The King Of Sweden, Jonas Jonasson)

A book that takes place in a single day

A debut novel (Selling Lip Service, Tammy Baikie)

A book that's published in 2019 (Storm of Locusts, Rebecca Roanhorse)

A book featuring an extinct or imaginary creature (A Natural History Of Dragons, Marie Brennan)

A book recommended by a celebrity you admire (there’s a list of these on GoodReads, far too many to put here)

A book with "love" in the title

A book featuring an amateur detective (Miss Phryne Fisher Investigates, Kerry Greenwood)

A book about a family (Kindred, Octavia E. Butler / Purple Hibiscus, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie)

A book written by an author from Asia, Africa, or South America (Convenience Store Woman, Sayaka Murata)

A book with a zodiac sign or astrology term in the title (Half Of A Yellow Sun, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie)

A book that includes a wedding (Don't Tempt Me, Loretta Chase)

A book by an author whose first and last names start with the same letter (Circe, Madeline Miller / The Lightning Thief, Rick Riordan)

A ghost story (Beloved, Toni Morrison)

A book with a two-word title (Wayward Son, Rainbow Rowell)

A novel based on a true story (Once More With Feeling, Victoria Coren and Charlie Skelton - not a ‘novel’, strictly speaking, but idc)

A book revolving around a puzzle or game

Your favourite prompt from a past POPSUGAR Reading Challenge: A book you bought on a trip (2017) (The Secret Lives of Colour, Kassia St Clair)

A "cli-fi" (climate fiction) book (The Overstory, Richard Powers)

A "choose-your-own-adventure" book

An "own voices" book (Persepolis, Marjane Satrapi)

Read a book during the season it is set in (Wintersmith, Terry Pratchett)

A LitRPG book

A book with no chapters / unusual chapter headings / unconventionally numbered chapters (Snuff, Terry Pratchett)

Two books that share the same title (1) (The Doll's House, Neil Gaiman)

Two books that share the same title (2) (A Doll's House, Henrik Ibsen)

A book that has inspired a common phrase or idiom (e.g. Big Brother from 1984) (Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy, John le Carré / Gaslight, Patrick Hamilton)

A book set in an abbey, cloister, monastery, vicarage, or convent

#popsugar reading challenge 2019 #book recs #also book disrecs #I was not a fan of Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater #but it was a quick read #I'll say that for it

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schreichters · 5 years

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okay @norwaydumpsterfireremakes inspired me with her amira/mohammed regency au (go read it!!!) so i’m going to share all my druck regency au headcanons....they r going to be totally different but that doesn’t matter dslkfjdkslf what matter is REGENCY ROMANCE NOVELS FUN

so bearing in mind i hate jonas (fantastic way to start) my vision for hanna is actually pretty sad....like leonie and jonas r engaged but jonas and hanna are In Love and get caught cheating and obvs leonie is mad and vengeful as hell and won’t keep it to herself and wants to destroy hanna’s life so hanna and jonas have to get married to Save Her Reputation only like in s1, their relationship after that isn’t exactly Functional, only they’re married so they can’t break up and be happier that way like they can in canon they’re just...stuck. so hanna has a Thing with sam or is suspected to have a thing with sam and jonas is super pissed like canon but now he can’t dump her so he just fucks off and gets self destructive and bitter like s2 jonas and yeah their relationship just disintegrates and they don’t live together or really talk, hanna does her own thing and stays with friends a lot or at her family home with matteo (who’s her brother because this is my au and i want them to be related). and there are occasional periods where it seems like jonas is going to get his shit together but it never lasts. i hate that little man. also wouldn’t be surprised if at some point politically-minded jonas gets a reputation for supporting women’s rights, he just treats his own wife like shit. he seems like the type yk!

okay moving on.....OBVIOUSLY alex is a duke like The Duke who is cold and a rake and the worst and mia is a plucky young miss and they have a story that’s one of those novels with a CAPER where mia is trying to expose some wrong-doing and alex gets mixed up in it and is a good guy and in the course of Delivering Justice they fall in love. very little of it happens in ballrooms or involves courting and stuff, it’s all about ~adventures in the underbelly of london~. i personally hate those kids of novels slkdjfklsd i love the ballroom etiquette stuff but it fits mia i must admit! anyway now she’s an Unconventional Duchess who continues to shock everyone by DOING THINGS and being really casual and affectionate with her husband (ie, calling him his first name in front of people and stuff). because alex was so cold and mean before no one UNDERSTAAAAAAAANDS why he tolerates this impertinent behavior from his wife. you fools! he is a changed man.

he probably fucked around with kiki in this au too but like A Dalliance and then didn’t offer marriage. god he sucks. anyway.

kiki was heard in public swearing to not marry below a duke--the only eligible duke at the time was uhh....alex so yikes that was crass and obvious cap-setting. she gets up getting wooed HARD by a baron’’s second son and marries him (carlos) which everyone sees as a fitting come-down for such a rude person but actually she seems to really like him and they appear very happy together. matteo still thinks carlos’s older brother should watch his back though. just in case.

MATTEO is a baronet (!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have a HUGE soft spot for a hero being a baronet bc my fav hero in my fav novel is one). he likes to hang out in the country and never comes to london if he can help it--too loud, too crowded, too dirty. his father was The Worst because i love to make matteo’s father comically evil (it’s so convenient) and put in his will (oh yeah, i also like to kill matteo’s father off, again, so convenient!) that matteo wouldn’t get his inheritance unless he was married by 26. which matteo found out....ten days before his 26th birthday. luckily somehow he ends up in touch with mr. david schreibner who ALSO needs to get married fast because, uh, plot reasons--out-running a dark past or him and laura are in debt and matteo will pay it off, whatever. anyway he is VERY up front that he’s never going to fall in love, this is Strictly Business. oh david, you fool! there’s a lot of delightful strangers-to-friends-to-lovers action that occurs at matteo’s home in the country, and of COURSE david falls head over heels for matteo despite trying to keep him at arm’s length. it’s marriage of convenience turned True Love trope, very sweet, and once they admit everything they’re super happy together! they Still usually avoid london though, like why bother with the season when they can be at home just the two of them and david can paint matteo lounging by the creek that goes through the woods on their land instead?

i’m waiting for the season to start/keep reading this fic to get more ideas for amira and mohammed ;))) also idk what leonie is doing which kinda makes me sad....but i’m sure it is gay, involves sara, and she’s probably being snobby and rich about it so that helps me sleep at night.

#druck regency au

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zmediaoutlet · 5 years

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AO3 filter meme

I found this buried in my likes and I’ma do it so I can continue to avoid some Tasks that I Do Not Want To Do, which is the number one activity all of us can engage in. Hurrah, procrastination. So let’s see!

Rules: Go to your works page, expand all the filters, and answer the following questions!

1. What’s your first and second most common work ratings? Explicit (62), Mature (43). ...Yeah. Look, you get trained into writing the booty-smoochin’ (NB: I tried to type smooshin’ there three times and my fingers rebelled, so that’s what we’re sticking with) and then it turns out that most of the ideas you come up with have booty smoochin’. Funny how that works.

2. What’s your most common archive warning? Least common? Do you consider yourself an adventurous writer? Most common: No Archive Warnings Apply (85) Least common: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings (25)

I do think I’m an adventurous writer, but I also think it’s entertaining/misleading that these two questions are paired together. If everything you write is rape&violence&gore, is that actually adventurous? Nah, fam. It’s just monotonous in the other direction. I’m happy to write various genres, but I’m more happy that ‘choose not to warn’ is an acceptable category to pick. Means you don’t have to spoil things, and also you can equivocate when you might have something sketchy that doesn’t quite fall into neat slots.

3. How many fics have you written in each relationship category? Is this more accidental, or do you have preferences? M/M (97) Gen (24) F/M (13) Multi (5) Other (2)

I mean, my preference is Sam/Dean, and they’re pretty solidly M/M, so. Yeah. It’s also a trufact that most decent characters that are fun to play with are male, which is its own kettle of fish that I’m not interested in shoving my arm into, but it is what it is. I’m glad there’s a solid lump of gen in there, though. Some restraint!

4. What are your top 4 fandoms by numbers? Are you still active in any of them, and do you tend to migrate a lot? Oh, this is gonna be lopsided af, are you ready:

Supernatural (plus SPN RPF) (105 + 3) Heroes (6) Psych (3) Marvel (2)

...Yeah. Two very tall dudes hooked their inspirational claws into me, what can I say. This isn’t to say that I don’t get ideas for other stories in other fandoms, but there’s just so much to write for SPN that other stuff falls by the wayside. I am hella not active in those other three fandoms, though. Sayonara, fandoms.

5. What are your top 4 relationship tags? Does this match how you feel about the characters, or are you puzzled? Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester (77) Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester (6) Dean Winchester/John Winchester (5) Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki (3)

lol, it matches a lot, yes. Though I’m still annoyed that it’s sorted as Dean/Sam. Sam/Dean just sounds better.

6. What are your top 2 most used additional tags, and your bottom 2? What would happen if you combined all 4 of these into a fic? Top 2: Established Relationship (46), Pre-Canon (12) Bottom 2: Fluff (6), Dom/sub Undertones (6)

I cheated and avoided the season/series tags, cos that’d be nonsensical. Also, hot damn, that’d be a really really good fic, can you believe. I’m imagining Sam/Dean when Sam’s maybe 17 and just coming into his true toppy nature and it’s fun but also Dean didn’t realize how much he’d like to be on his knees, ahemhem, oh yes. (I think I have a request for this, actually.)

7. How many WIPs do you have currently running on AO3? Any you don’t plan on finishing? Hm, let’s see--two official, one that kinda is a WIP in that it’s a series which could really use one more fic to complete a thought but it isn’t strictly required. These are, in order: - Nightblooming Flowers (J2 AU), currently at 69k over two chapters. I keep putting off starting the third chapter because there’s gonna be like plot and intrigue and shit and that’s honestly the thing I find least interesting, wah. But I’ll get there. - In a Cursed Hour (SPN Gen... for now), currently at 94k over 5 chapters, also known as the Big Fuckin MoL AU that I was very dumb to start, probably, but it’s always lurking in the back of my mind. This one functions as mostly complete stories for each chapter, so I hope it’s not too terrible for those few who actually read it. My good buddy thebratfarrar is my idea pinging buddy on this but I do the writing, so I fit in chapters around all of the million other things on my to-do list. It’s hard, but sort of rewarding. - Physical Graffiti (wincest), currently also at 94k (weird) over 3 stories, with the one extra that I really ought to get to. I will, at some point. Someday.

I tag: @wetsammywinchester, @alulaspeaks, @efflorescentjared, @whiskeycherrypie, @blindswandive, @homo-pink, @silver9mm, @omgbubblesomg, @nyxocity, and... shit, whoever else wants to do it. What’s up with your data, folks? What it is?

#in fact #what it is jive turkey?#does anyone even still get pootie tang references #fun fact: that movie was written by louis c.k.#that shit blew my mind when i learned it #why???#anyway #writing #ask meme #do it up

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underdarkbaking · 5 years

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The Best Pie of the Forgotten Realms

Let me tell you, this is probably the hardest I’ve ever worked to come up with a recipe, and the results are… well, you’ll see. Buckle up Wafflefam, it’s a long one. I can’t promise you it will be interesting, but I CAN promise you you’ll learn a lot about edible lichen.

The journey began with collecting what we canonically know about Jarlaxle’s pie: Chris called it a “Luskan fractal helix apple pie”, and its ingredients are common enough that you can find them already in Strix’s shop or in a Waterdhavian market, the two exceptions being Kara-Tur pears and a specific type of white, aquatic lichen that acts as a substitute to cinnamon. We also know that before getting the two secret ingredients, Strix was already working on the pie for about an hour or more; she then needed a performance check to successfully assemble it, and the pie baked “through the night”. Oh, and also, the pie is ultimately poisoned. More on that later.

The first thing I did was figuring out a “real world” counterpart to the secret ingredients, so that I could design the recipe around them rather than trying to cram them in a traditional apple pie.

The choice was easy for the Kara-Tur pears: Kara-Tur first appeared in the Oriental Adventures book for AD&D in 1985, and it doesn’t seem to have changed much since. As far as I can tell, the only mention of Kara-Tur in 5E is a brief paragraph in the Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide, where it says that “Far to the east […] lie the empires of Shou Lung, Kozakura, Wa, and the other lands of the vast continent of Kara-Tur”. It’s probably a safe bet to assume these are the equivalent of our real-world China, Japan and Korea. So at least that’s easy to search: we need an Asian pear that is not that common in the West. You don’t have to look far to find the ideal candidate, the nashi pear; also called Asian pear, it’s grown almost exclusively in Japan, Nepal and China, and nowhere commercially in Europe or the US, which makes it a rather difficult fruit to find in the West. I also discovered when researching it that it was called “apple-pear” in several languages, so if that’s not a sign that it belongs in the best apple pie of the Realms, I don’t know what is. Now actually getting the nashi pears was kind of a pain, and after visiting several markets and shops and finding a big fat nothing, I gave up and ordered some online. Which, as you can imagine, makes it by far the most expensive ingredients that goes into the pie. I think I paid more for two pears than for all the other ingredients combined, but anyway, I’ll just be happy it fits into the theme of the rare and hard-to-get ingredient.

Let’s get to the white underwater lichen, shall we? Now THIS was a far more complicated treasure chase. At first I thought I could get away with using some kind of algae or seaweed, since there are so many edible ones, but nooo, that’s not what lichen is, you silly goose: it’s an organism made of types of fungi living in symbiosis with bacteria that use photosynthesis (most commonly algae). In other words, lichen is a moss-mushroom. A mossroom. This led me on a many-hours search of what types of lichen were edible, hoping against hope that I could just go and scrap some off of the trees and rocks in the forest nearby (spoiler alert: I couldn’t). I finally settled on three potential candidates for “best cinnamon substitute in pastry”: Umbilicaria, kalpasi, and Iceland moss.

Umbilicaria (pictured above) is also called “rock tripe” in North America. It was a good candidate because, while not strictly aquatic, it does grow better on seaside cliffs and it is harvested in rainy weather. Its colours vary from black to light gray, so, that’s not white, but grayish could be close enough. I ultimately didn’t go with this one for another reason: it’s a delicacy in Japan, where it’s called “iwatake”, and that’s pretty much the only place where I could order some from. And it might seem petty, but I didn’t want the two secret ingredients to come from the same region of the world. There’s no fun in that.

Kalpasi (above) also seemed like a good choice: it’s an Indian spice composed of ground up greyish-brown lichen, used in meat dishes. I liked it because, unlike other types of lichen, this one is supposed to actually taste good, with earthy, almost truffle-like tones. And we all know truffles always make a dish 50% fancier. For those interested, you can sometimes find it in the West in specialized shops, under the names kalpasi or dagad phool.

Coming down to the last one, Iceland moss! Despite its name, it is indeed a lichen and not a moss. I eventually settled on this one, for three reasons:

1) It’s not always white, but it can be.

2) It has been used as an unusual ingredient by the inventive chef René Redzepi in his two-Michelin-star restaurant Noma, in Copenhagen, considered one of the best restaurants in the world. The meals are… interesting, to say the least. Anyway, if it’s good enough to warrant two Michelin stars, we might as well use it.

3) As its name indicates, it grows in Iceland, more specifically on lava slopes. It’s not underwater, but I like the exoticism it brings to the table, in contrast to the other ingredients. Moreover, I don’t know how much of 4E has been retconned over the years, but I like the idea of Jarlaxle stumbling upon a rare type of white lichen on an ancient lava slope in Gauntlgrym just before he accidentally released Maegera (yes, the same one) and caused the eruption that destroyed Neverwinter. It gives a bit of flavor to the lichen, pun intended.

Here’s a picture of the bag I bought. It’s not the whitest, but it’ll do.

And there we are, the first step is done, we have our secret ingredients. For the more mundane ones, I went as “high-end medieval fantasy cooking” as I could:

- Waterdeep flour is most likely made in a traditional mill, probably water- or donkey-powered, so the flour I’ll be using comes from an abbey where it is made traditionally by monks who only sell it there. I’m not even joking. It’s an hour and a half away from where I live but I always make sure to pick up a few bags when I’m in the vicinity. It’s the finest flour I have ever seen, and I’m not exaggerating when I say it flows like water. The stuff is mesmerizing. Do you think they make flour in the Spires?

- The butter is also locally sourced from a dairy just outside my hometown, it’s partly made with the milk of cows I can see from my window. I don’t think the taste is that different from generic/industrial butter, but it’s as fresh as I can get, and I think that’s closer to what would be available in Waterdeep.

- Nothing much I can do about the powdered sugar, so it’s just store-bought. I could not find any mentions of sugar in official D&D sources, so I’m assuming they get the expensive one from Kara-Tur and they make the regular one from sugar beets, or that they use honey as a sweetener. We’ll just assume Strix gets hers from her Heward’s handy spice pouch, because we only need a small quantity of it.

- The eggs, on the other hand, come straight up from my grandma’s chickens. There are just 4 of them but their pen is bigger than her house and they eat like kings because the entire extended family feed them all their leftovers. I figure Strix probably raises her chickens the same way, or at least with the same amount of love. Their yolk is a bright yellow that you can’t get from anywhere else, and it makes for a good-looking pastry.

- Similarly, the apples come from my grandfather’s apple tree. It’s an exceptional tree that produces so much that 2 other varieties have been grafted on its trunk over the years; it now produces three different kinds of apple. We’re obviously a few months after the season though, so I’m using apples from Fall 2018 that were in my freezer. Not the freshest of ingredients, especially compared to the rest, but it’s the most “organic” apples I can get. I don’t think Waterdeep’s orchards use GMOs.

Now we need to find a way to make all of this into the best apple pie possible. On a sidenote here, I realize I’m not going to come up with the best apple pie ever out of the blue and simply by adding a strange fruit and an even stranger spice. My goal is for the pie to be the best it can be, while making it interesting enough so that a pie critic from the Forgotten Realms would be delighted enough to kiss a trash-tiefling.

First we need to figure out what Strix is doing to get the pie ready while her companions are fighting wererats and fishing treasure chests. I decided to use my tried-and-true crust recipe, which I have already posted here. It’s a bit long to make, as you need to make the dough, let it cool down for at least 30 minutes, and bake it blind for 10 to 15 minutes; that could be what Strix is doing during the hour+ when the others are away. It’s also way more buttery than most pastry recipes, and it’s a bit unusual in its use of powdered sugar, which I feel makes it closer to what the game’s recipe could be, because, well, it’s non-traditional. Given his choice of ingredients, Jarlaxle is obviously more on the disruptive side of baking.

Next, the filling. In my baking experience, I have found that apple pie is always better when the bottom is lined with applesauce: it keeps the crust from overcooking and keeps the apple slices moist for far longer, allowing you to cook the pie for the few minutes more that will turn crunchy apple bits into soft bites of caramelized goodness. The question now was, do I turn the nashi into purée and use that instead of applesauce, or should I use it as a fruit topping like an apple?

At first, I thought my supply of nashi pears would be very limited, so I would have to make them count. But once they showed up at my house, I realized my mistake: one pear weighs 800g (1.76 lb). These are heckin’ chonkers. Here they are, surrounding a normal-sized apple that wasn’t asking for any trouble:

They’re as big as a grapefruit and four times as heavy. And the taste? Oh sweet Lathander, the taste. This is one of the juiciest fruit I’ve ever eaten. It feels like you’re eating a pear, but it tastes like a very sweet apple, with none of the tartness. It’s like a fruit for kids.

So, given that I had so much more fruit than I expected, I could try some experiments; I turned one half of a nashi into purée, and I baked a tray of mini-pies to try a few different combinations of fruit and sauce.

And here’s what I discovered –the nashi loses its taste when it’s cooked. There is absolutely no point in making an apple pie with nashi as a main fruit, because it’s like biting into a bland pear, which is a shame, given how delicious it is in its raw form. However, its juiciness makes it a pretty great ingredient for the purée. As I said, it loses its taste, so it doesn’t overpower the apples, but the texture of the “nashisauce” is everything you want in that kind of pie: it’s smooth, it’s moist, it ties everything together very well. So, I’ll count that as a win!

Now for the lichen. Chris/Jarlaxle said it was to be used as a substitute to cinnamon, so I had a few options: mix it in with the nashisauce, lightly coat the apple slices in it before assembling the pie, or dust the pie just out of the oven with grated lichen. At that point, you’re probably wondering what Iceland moss tastes like, and so was I. So I ate a bit of it. And regretted it immediately.

It is extremely bitter, and tastes like cheap tea. How do you turn that into an ingredient worthy of the best pie in Waterdeep? The first thing I tried was to let it steep in hot water, as if I was actually making tea. I made two cups: one to use the resulting water as a binding agent for the crust (which would imply reducing the amount of egg yolk, but you never know, it could be for the best), and one to see if I could “wash away” some of the bitterness off the lichen.

Well, again, no to both of those, it was just too bitter. But I discovered in the process that if you let the lichen steep in hot water long enough, it falls to the bottom of the cup and you can mush it into a kind of lumpy paste. Working from this, and after many tries, I finally came up with what I think is a good solution: I boiled the lichen in a lot of water with a few spoons of honey until it turned into mush, pressed that into a mold, baked it for half an hour, rolled the resulting paste into a ball with powdered sugar to reduce its stickiness, let it air dry overnight and well into the next day (I sped up the process by leaving it on top of my oven, which is often on in our home), and baked it once more at a very low temperature for almost two hours. The result was a very hard ball of cooked-but-unburnt lichen, honey and sugar, which I could grind into a sand-like powder.

Its only use in that state is to be scattered on top of the pie just out of the oven, which melts the sugar and frees the aroma of the lichen. Now here’s where it gets interesting: it’s sweet and the bitterness is still there, but it’s a good bitterness, like adding dark chocolate to curry or a red wine sauce. It’s not overpowering, it doesn’t overwhelm the apple taste, you don’t get it on every bite so you don’t get bored of it, and overall, it just tastes great. And that’s exactly what we want.

All right, everything seems to be figured out ingredients-wise, time to bake the first test pie! I was wondering what exactly would be the look of a “fractal helix pie”, so I just went with a pie-ception kind of concept and used once again my trusty mini-pie tray to make smaller pies on the main pie.

Also, I used an apple peeler and corer and only cut one side of the resulting product to turn the fruits into apple rings rather than the usual apple slices. I was hoping that it’d look more helix-y if I covered the pie in intertwined rings. Pop that in the oven for 50 minutes, and here we go!

So here are the results; it’s a good pie, all in all. The nashisauce certainly makes a difference for the best, albeit a small one –if you know it’s there, you can barely taste it, but if you don’t know it just feels like “hey, the applesauce did its job remarkably well today”. The lichen is also a welcomed addition on the bites where it is present, but you have to tell your guests that it’s there, otherwise their “Oh yeah, that’s pretty good in a dark chocolate-y kind of way” will turned into a shocked “What in the Nine Hells is that black stuff that tastes like a cursed grapefruit”.

Regarding the looks of the pie, it didn’t quite turn out as I’d hoped. Sure, it’s different, and the mini-pies-on-a-pie where a hit with the guests, but the apple rings had shrunk and broke off each other in several places, making it just a weirdly laid-out apple pie.

All in all, the first full-scale test was a bit disappointing, but not discouraging –the basics were there, and it was better than my usual apple pie. It just needed a little something to push it over the edge.

At this point, I’m thinking that the ingredients are pretty much the best we can realistically get, and I can’t imagine any cooking technique within my abilities that would improve the overall taste. So let’s add more ingredients and see if it does the trick. What can we add that doesn’t betray the lore of DCA and the setting of the Forgotten Realms?

Let’s dive back into the process: Strix has to bake her pies in a traditional bread oven, given that she worked in a bakery when she was a child. Which means her pies cook realistically in less than an hour in a very hot oven that stays around 250°C-275°C (480°F-530°F) all day. We’ve also seen in some episodes that the pies can be made and cooked in 10 minutes to half an hour, so she probably has a bunch of pre-cooked pastry case and keeps her oven above 300°C (570°F) , which is possible although quite insane.

But Chris said that the pie was let to bake overnight. How does that happen? Probably by baking the crust blind in the hot oven, which you typically don’t do for an apple pie, then take it out, let the temperature drop and the fire turn to embers, and finally putting the now assembled pie inside and closing the door so that the fruit slowly cooks and caramelizes. And what happens when you leave something in a semi-closed wood-fired oven for an extended period of time? It gets smoked. Literally. This is something I hadn’t thought of before, but every pastry made by Strix should have a very light woody, smoky aftertaste.

I don’t have access to a traditional baker’s oven (I’ve been planning on building one myself for years but never made the jump because I seriously doubt I could pull it off), but nowadays it’s easy to come by something called liquid smoke, which is exactly what it sounds like. So let’s get back to the mini-pie tray and bake some with different amount of liquid smoke, mixed into the applesauce or baked into the pastry.

And survey says: ooh boy you really don’t need much. If we extrapolate from the taste of the small pies, only about 5 drops should be added to the applesauce, and nothing to the pastry. It should give the pie that subtle smoky taste that hints toward campfire food. Any more and it tastes like the pie has been baked on an unwashed stove where you previously charred pounds of cheap, expired bacon.

Okay, we’re almost there… and then, as I was scraping my brain to find a new ingredient that would stay true to the pie, it hit me. It was staring at me right in the face from the very beginning.

It’s a LUSKAN pie. It’s from basically a pirate city! It needs rum to be complete! Again, there’s two way to go about this: either mix a big tablespoon of rum with the nashisauce, or pour it on the pie at the last moment to flambé it. But let’s be honest, flambé is just for show, and it will be much more flavorful if it bakes with the pie, so, let’s do that.

Also, I went back to Chris’s tweet announcing what the episode would be about, and he used this gif:

Soooo… Yeah, that’s probably why he called it a “fractal helix” pie. I don’t think I can replicate an ever-moving infinite pastry in real life, but I can certainly try.

Okay, let’s bake a new pie for real! This should be the one. I’m doing everything in one go, as close to DCA as I can:

1- Preparing the crust and baking it blind, undercooking it a lot, just enough so that there is no risk of the crust losing its integrity under the humidity of the nashisauce, while the rest of the Coven goes on a hunt for lichen and pears. Total time: 1 hour.

2- Beginning to cook the nashi into purée with half a vanilla pod (in a bit of last-minute inspiration) while peeling half of the apples; I am letting those oxidize for a bit, so that I’ll have two different colors of apple to work with. Time: 5min.

3- Boiling the Iceland moss with honeyed water and pressing the resulting paste into a mold: 15min.

4- Thoroughly blending the cooked nashi purée and setting it to cool down on the windowsill while the lichen bakes in the oven: 15 min.

5- Taking the lichen out of the oven and rolling it into a ball with powdered sugar: 5 min.

6- Mixing the nashisauce with liquid smoke and rum, peeling the rest of the apples, and finally assembling the pie in a pattern that suggests movement: 45 min. Yeah I went back and forth a lot with the placement and shapes of the apple slices. I’m thinking this is where the performance check comes into action, and I do not have proficiency in that skill.

7- And now, it has to cook overnight, while the ball of sweet lichen dries out on top of the oven. So what I’m doing is actually baking it at low temperature (175°C/350°F) for over an hour, and then, without ever opening the oven door to keep as much humidity inside as I can, turning it down to the smallest setting for another hour (that would be 100°C/210°F on my oven). Once this is done, I’m still not opening the oven door, and I turn the oven off, letting it cool down with the pie still inside overnight. Also I started it at 7PM, and now it’s a bit before midnight because I took my sweet time, so I’m going to sleep.

The next morning, I’m checking the ball of lichen: it’s not as hard as the first time, mostly because I didn’t let it dry long enough, but I should be able to grate enough of its surface to lightly dust it on the pie. Speaking of the pie, I’m finally opening the oven door, and… it looks perfect.

Or at least, it looks how I wanted it to look: the patterns are there, although some slices have shifted a little, and the two colors of apple give it a style that I absolutely love. I’m definitely using this trick from now on for my normal apple pies. And it’s still a bit warm. I’m taking the pie out and putting the lichen in on a very low setting to dry it out a bit more.

Four hours later, I am serving the pie; I popped it in the hot oven for a brief moment to slightly warm it up, grated a bit of lichen on top of it, and dug in with everyone.

Is it the perfect pie? Probably not. Is it unusual? I mean, kinda, there’s a lot of subtle flavors in there that you don’t necessarily expect. Is it good? Yes, yes it is. The ingredients blend very well together. But more importantly, DID MY MOTHER SAY SHE LOVED IT AND ASK FOR THE RECIPE? DAMN RIGHT SHE DID. And that’s all I need to call it a success.

So here we are folks, this is the end of our Luskan fractal helix pie journey. I had a lot of fun coming up with that one, and I’m looking forward to the next culinary endeavors of the Chicken Foot Coven.

I guess that, as a conclusion, I need to address the biggest question we’re all asking ourselves: is this pie worth making?

If you just want to eat a good apple pie, no, not really. Just make your favourite apple pie, and maybe take some inspiration from this recipe to spice it up a bit. But if you want to try and bake it in the spirit of “let’s make a DCA-inspired pie”, please do. It’s tremendous fun. I loved tracking down and using those exotic ingredients, and the process of turning lichen into sweet sand makes you feel like an alchemist. Plus, it’s an easy recipe, there’s not much that can go wrong. It’s still just an apple pie.

All right, that’s it, we’re done. If you read everything, thank you so much for keeping up with my rambling. Don’t hesitate to ask if you have some questions related to all of that. Otherwise, I’ll see you all next time there is something to bake!

PS: “But what if I want to taste what the critic ACTUALLY ate, poison and all?”

So I did some research, and it seems that most poisons have a bitter taste, which is already present in our pie thanks to the lichen. So, potentially, the pie wouldn’t taste much different. I’d also wager that the Drow poison is tasteless. However, some “classical” poisons are known to have a distinct taste: cyanide supposedly tastes like bitter almonds, and poison hemlock allegedly tastes like mild parsnip. Yes, parsnip, you read that right. I don’t think parsnip will be a good addition to our pie’s flavor profile, but I’m positive that almonds will make it even better. If you’re not allergic.

#dicecameraaction #wafflecrew #dca

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blackbirdpaw · 5 years

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ThunderClan Worldbuilding

(for my au)

Most worldbuilding stays the same in the Clans as it did in the books, there'll just be some things added to it. The Clans are a good example. Setting differences between each one really helps distinguish them.

ThunderClan are the largest of the Clans, sporting a bulky, and muscular build. They're the most physically intimidating of all the Clans, with powerful haunches, wide heads, strong chests, a rigid posture and broad shoulders. ThunderClan tends to have medium length or long fur; short fur is considered quite the rarity in ThunderClan. Despite these common attributes, ThunderClan have more variation than the other Clans, as they took quite a few outsiders into their borders under Firestar's leadership. Being a pure Clan cat is of great importance amongst the Clans, but ThunderClan are significantly more accepting that others, and that can be seen in the physical appearance of many modern ThunderClan cats.

Common fur colours and patterns are ginger, cream, tortoiseshell, and black tabbies. Common markings include mackerel, classic, and spotted tabbies, white spotting, and mottled patterns in torties. ThunderClan cats do not favour light colours due to the need to camouflage with the dappled foliage around them, and having a small and lithe build suggests a non-ThunderClan cat close in relation.

ThunderClan are noted for their militarist behaviours and views. They're the vikings or spartans of the Clan world, valuing physical/mental strength, bravery and keeping strong borders. Between all the Clans, they are the strongest, and other Clans often try to avoid coming to blows with ThunderClan. ThunderClan cats are taught to enjoy battle, though not to invite it. After all, they are not tyrants, but noble. This nobility is one of ThunderClan's core values, others including being merciful, loyal, courageous, and to the other Clans annoyance, a kind of moral compass, taking their sense of justice to a point where they frequently involve themselves in other Clan issues, and act self righteous. ThunderClan, while greatly appreciating the Clan as a whole and their collective strength and unity, places a great deal of value on a cat's individual abilities. Rising up the ranks is the goal of all ThunderClan cats, which breeds many great warriors, but also drives divisions between Clan members in a competitive sense, and breeds the most belligerent traitors. It is every ThunderClan apprentice's dream to save their Clan, bring themselves glory, and become the heroes that they've been spoonfed through nursery tales all their lives. "Clan blood lies above all else,"* but individual strength and skill is very important to these cats. Following the rules and The Code is very important to this Clan, and breaking the code is true blasphemy, despite their acceptance of outsiders.

ThunderClan are known for their seriousness and their nosiness, and often find themselves mocked for their inflated sense of justice. ThunderClan cats are excessively organised and run similarly to a military camp. Duty first, and no cat must slack off. Despite this rather serious behaviour, ThunderClan are not boring by any means. They quite enjoy joking about, and are prone to pranking each other. In terms of art and expression, ThunderClan are real storytellers. While all Clans engage in this, ThunderClan value their stories the most, and verbal language is how they pass down history rather than visually, and when teaching, storytelling comes up a lot. ThunderClan often spend nights just telling stories and speaking of their history. While other Clans may tell stories of fictional events, ThunderClan tells strictly of their history and important events. They also make sculptures as an art activity! While cats don't usually have all that much free time due to work, they really are the builders of all the Clans - skilled members of the Clans can construct small shapes out of twigs and other plant material.

ThunderClan tends to be conservative in terms of naming. They're the least adventurous with names, sticking to mainly basic names, and often name their kits after important cats in ThunderClan history or after significant cats in the parent's life.

Not only are ThunderClan the best fighters out of all the Clans, they're also very skilled hunters. Perfectly equipped to stalking and pouncing upon their prey despite their largeness, and they're also very capable builders in terms of constructing stable dens. Really, ThunderClan. You're too op. The other Clans are sick of you.

ThunderClan celebrate a number of events, not as many as RiverClan, but more than WindClan and ShadowClan. Some celebrations include:

Bluebell's Awakening - ThunderClan celebrate the sprouting of bluebells, as it shows that Newleaf has arrived. This is celebrated by a day free of duty and Clan-wide happiness and fun.

Birdsong Day - This is when ThunderClan splits into patrols and raids bird nests to celebrate the return of New-Leaf. The goal is to collect as many as you can in a certain area of the forest without breaking them; it's a competition. It is confined to one area of the forest so that there are plenty of eggs to grow into birds.

The Return of the Wheateater - when the Wheateater returns from it's migration, ThunderClan celebrates. Wheateaters are considered a sign of good luck from StarClan in ThunderClan's eyes, and are therefore welcomed warmly.

Day of Peace - Celebrated by all the Clans. This is celebrated in early Leaf-Bare, where the Clans meet together and simply converse, share news and hold a contest. This welcomes the harsh months of Leaf-bare and survival, and is the Clan way of saying "no matter what is about to come, we remember that we are all united like our ancestors wish us to be."

Greenleaf day - a day celebrating Greenleaf. Free of duty and holds a Clan feast.

Day of Hunger - To show gratefulness to StarClan for providing plentiful food in Greenleaf, ThunderClan choose to have a day of fasting, to show respect for StarClan's hard work and for the sacrifices of prey. (RiverClan thinks this is stupid. Celebrate prey abundance by fasting. RiverClan celebrate the same thing by feasting.)

Day of Victory - A day when the Clan remembers Sunheart and Seedleap; two felines who are reknown war heroes of a long war with ShadowClan. These two killed the ShadowClan leader, Laurelstar, ending the war.

Thunder Moon - A day dedicated to Thunderstar, the founder of ThunderClan. This is celebrated in the second storm of Leaf-fall. No one in ThunderClan is sure why it has to be the second storm, only that it's tradition. If there is only one storm in the season, it is a terrible omen.

The Battle of BloodClan - ThunderClan honours the events of The Battle of BloodClan, paying respect to cats who have died and recalling the events and glories of the day, praising Firestar and reenacting the battle. This takes place mid Leaf-Fall (I'm not sure what season the battle actually took place in and the wiki was unhelpful.)

Day of Stories - This is a day where ThunderClan celebrates their history by telling stories, most centered around brave warriors of the past. To be chosen to be a storyteller is a great honor. This takes place mid Leafbare to keep spirits high.

* Clan Blood Lies Above All Else is the words all the Clans live by. It's basically words of the bible - considered just as important as the Code, but it isn't written in it. Think: Faction before blood from Divergent.

#warriors #warrior cats #worldbuilding #warriors rewrite #the power of three #my au

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