#not super active right now because it's just been a lot of journaling at home in sweats ngl ;_;

[chloepleasestopdying]

That ask reminded me of a fic I was thinking of awhile back

It started with Chloe right before Rachel disappeared. So their in the what I call ‘LiS’ stage, where they kinda dated but drifted apart and Chloe is actively ignoring it while Rachel is talking to Frank/Jefferson.

One day Chloe shows up at her house and gets shocked by the fact the police are there. (She is kinda afraid they are there for her) Turns out that it’s actually detectives from Seattle. Apparently Max went missing a few days ago and they think she’s in Arcadia Bay. Chloe is dismissive immediately but they still freak her out by telling her that they believe Max is in the middle of mental break down.

They show her Max’s journal and it’s a complete mess. The drawings are all rather dark so are the writings. What freaks her out is that one of the drawings is of her. Her now, with the short blue hair she only did like last week.

The detectives tell them (Because Joyce and David are there) that Max is under the delusion that something is warning her that Chloe is in danger. A few days ago she took cash from her father’s wallet and has avoided the police since.

When Chloe finally leaves she’s shaken up and invites Rachel to hang out in the junkyard so she’s not alone with her worries about Max (which then turns into anger that she’s worrying about someone that hasn’t cared about her in years. also she’s kinda flattered that someone apparently has a delusion about her and then she’s back to the worry and anger again)

And of course Max is there, bloodily nose and all.

She’s exhausted and clearly terrified.

Chloe freaks. Rachel is chill until Max shows that yeah, she DOES think Chloe is in danger.

Apparently she started having black outs a few weeks ago, then someone was writing in her journal and taking other pictures. The writings had a lot of warnings and other dark stuff, worse whoever wrote them knew stuff. Things Max didn’t even know. When the warnings started in on Chloe Max believed them and has been listening to their directions ever since. 

Chloe wants Max to go home, as she doesn’t really trust the detectives, but Max refuses because the journal was clear. (The fact that the journal told Max exactly what Chloe would say is just another point for ‘do what the journal says or Chloe will die’)

Max convinces Chloe to help her do something which is when Rachel dips. (This is the part I never got around to flushing out) When Max ‘switchs’ during (becoming incredibly serious and steady) it majorly freaks Chloe out.

After ‘her’ Max is back from her Black out Chloe convinces Max that she needs like. Real help. And that she’ll drive Max home in the morning.

Max agrees, they have a little fight when Chloe realizes that Max is only agreeing because the journal says so, and Chloe takes Max to her house to crash.

And guess who is there? The detectives and Max’s parents! Turns out someone saw Chloe and Max around town earlier and calls them.

There is a whole Thing (Where Max’s parents freak out, David gets pissed that Chloe didn’t call the cops immediately etc etc)

And then Max switchs again and freaks everyone out. Besides the detectives. They have a back and forth where Other Max clearly thinks she knows them and the detectives keep brushing them off. Then Other Max drops her bomb shell that she isn’t insane at all and is in fact a time traveler.

This just makes everyone else think she’s insane but the detectives kinda freeze.

Other Max forces them (by stealing their guns and badges) that they are not detectives at all. They actually work for a super powered group where one of their members ‘felt’ Future Max fixing things and wanted to invite (kidnap) Max to join them. The group only knew that Max had powers but not what kind.

Future Max , after they had kidnapped her in one of the other timelines, had decided to play up the crazy bit in order to throw them off what her real powers were.

After telling them that she’s pretty much their boss in like 10 years (and threatening them) she sends the goons on their way.

Then turns to everyone else and is like ‘super sorry about this. It’s probably for the best though. this way they won’t come after anyone, the Dark Room isn’t a thing, and everyone knows I have powers! If not I guess I can mess around until I find another way but hopefully not because I’ve been fucking around with this for like six months.’

Then dips out leaving everyone very confused. Max’s parents put her in therapy because ‘ obviously you have self esteem issues if you are ok gaslighting your self this hard holy shut’ 

#life is strange #chloe price #max caulfield #pricefield #this is a long post omg #but I did like this idea #not enough to write it tho

[jungwnies]

hello mae! I’m sorry I was a lil mia for a second 🥴

these past few weeks have been nice, a few little bumps every now and then but overall good although i will admit the past few days I’ve been feeling a little sick and ngl it got me and my parents worried so I’m gonna get some blood tests taken during the weekend just to check that everything’s alright and verify that i just probably need some vitamins 🤞🏻🤞🏻

i also went on a walk with my sister the other day and omg i sooo needed that, it even rained a little bit and it was nice, she showed me this street where there’s a whole ass tree in the middle of it like right in the middle (say what now), she found it a couple of months ago on one of her morning walks and has told me about it but i only saw it a couple of days ago and we took some pictures posing in front of it cause this thing was also mASSIVE, not the biggest tree I’ve seen but one of definitely :0

i started korean classes again after two months ish and it’s actually very nice, it helps me keep practicing and studying even if im feeling lazy cause like that was the thing, i could totally study on my own but i just couldn’t (like some people nEED to get a gym membership otherwise they don’t workout, well i need my teacher assigning homework otherwise i won’t do it) ㅠㅠ

i also started journaling a little bit again and it helps a lot so im happy about that ^^

and lastly I’ve been listening to a lot of lana del rey (specifically her nfr album I LOVE ITT 😩😩) and donna missal (her new album “revel” 🤎🤌🏻)

now questions for youuu~

how have you been? how’s life treating you? (honest answers only but feel free to go as deep as you want hehe)

what’s your favorite meal these days? have you drank water today? (if no go now! 😤)

what’s your latest obsession? (any kind of) and lastly, which side of the bed do you sleep on? (very random but im writing this before going to sleep and now im curious, i used to sleep on th right side but now i just stick to the middle and end up on the left lol)

remember to take care of yourself, stretch, drink your liquids, eat your favorite meals/snacks, watch some shows/films, cry if u want to and get some sunlight on you if you can 🫶🏻🫶🏻

i love you maeby baby, have a nice day (and week) im rooting for you!! hehe💓💓

-🧸 anon

i also saw your message about your blood tests coming out okay, which i am so happy about! i wish you nothing but happiness and health omgomgomg.

oh my god, i saw ur message about the swift tickets and im sooo happy for you. i haven't been super active on tumblr, not sure why, just need a break from writing i am BURNT OUT!!! walks are always so refreshing, but in my state its sooo humid i hate walking i feel like bugs stick to my body every time i step outside, but i did go to the beach yesterday (who would've thought...) i am also a gym person who only goes if i have a membership, which is why i haven't gone because i haven't renewed... i AM SO LAZY LMFAO i also loveeee lana del rey, her music is sooo chef's kiss... literally

now to answer your questions :)

how have you been? how’s life treating you? life has notttt been bad recently, a few things here and there piss me off, but that's life??? not ready to start the semester again in september, i am literally dreading it LMFAO!?!?!? but it's okay, i'll stick it through and be successful (hopefully????) i'm going to another state in a few days for vacation so i'm super excited for that, need to get away from home!!!

what’s your favorite meal these days? have you drank water today? my favorite meal definitely has been rice and some sort of meat recently... or pasta!!! i really love carbs tbh, it's awful!?!?!? and yes i've drank some water, but i definitely need more. i appreciate the reminder <3

what’s your latest obsession? jungkook is my latest obsession... jk but also not jk?!?! his song with latto is so good, i was so worried it was going to sound off but i lowkey enjoyed it a lot? but to actually answer ur question i've been obsessed with valorant... i know yikes?!?!? but it's so fun... the last time i played was in like 2021 and i finally got back on and realized how much fun i have playing this game LOL

which side of the bed do you sleep on? i sleep on the left side... it's also the side closest to my door. i don't know why i can't sleep on the right side to be honest... usually i sleep farthest from the door, but i feel most comfortable on the side closest to my door.. but it is also the side closet to the wall LMFAO

remember to take care of yourself, stretch, drink your liquids, eat your favorite meals as well, and catch up on your fave shows and rewatch ur fave movies!! <3333

#🧸 — jungwnies #🧸 anon #🧸 #thank you anon #ily anon #📥 jungwnies #𐐪♡︎₊˚ ― jungwnies #jungwnies anons #jungwnies

[zeawkwardpterodactyl]

About me!

Hello everyone! 

Some basics about me: 

My name is Ace 

I use she/they pronouns, but I’m cool with being referred to as pretty much anything other than “man” (and insults ofc), so like “bro”, “dude”, “queen”, whatever works for you. 

I’m bisexual! As a fanfiction writer, this comes in handy imo because I can write for both girl groups and boy groups romantically.

My sun sign is Libra, my moon sign is Virgo, and my rising is Sagittarius.

My MBTI is INTJ 

In case you couldn’t already tell from some of my writing, I live in the US. I’d prefer not to share any other information about my location, though.

I’m a college student. I’m working on my Bachelor’s, but I haven’t picked a major yet. (So yeah, be warned that I can’t get stuff out super fast all the time.)

My hobbies

Idk if this counts as a hobby, but I am obviously a kpop fan. I’ve been into kpop for a surprisingly short amount of time in comparison to some of the other writers on here (since late summer/early fall of 2021). 

I absolutely love music and any art related to music-- singing, instruments, both contemporary and classical dance, and I’m learning how to produce songs (I actually got into this because of skz lol). 

There’s just one issue: I’m terrible at all of those things. I’m definitely built for mental activities, not physical ones. My voice is pretty terrible, too. I have a guitar and a piano, but I still live at home, so the amount of noise I can make is limited, so I haven’t gotten too much practice on either of those things yet. 

I love reading and writing! Yes, even outside of fanfiction. I stick to YA and fantasy novels for the most part, but that’s not a hard and fast rule. I don’t read as much as I would like to though since I struggle with motivation (mental health tings lol). 

Other than that, I enjoy baking, journaling, astrology, Dungeons and Dragons, attempting to learn languages, and ofc being lazy sometimes and just watching TV.  

The groups I like!

My favorite groups are Stray Kids and Seventeen!

I tend to like groups that have some role in producing their songs, seem like people I could vibe with, and show support for causes I support (ie, LGBTQ+ rights, addressing racial injustice, women’s rights, animal welfare, etc.) 

The groups that I casually stan are Tomorrow x Together, Oneus, Ateez, Xdinary Heroes, Twice, Itzy, Mamamoo, Dreamcatcher, Blackpink, (G)-Idle, Kep1er, and IVE.

Some groups that I’ve been wanting to get into are BTS, Wei, WJSN, fromis_9, Purple Kiss, Loona, IZ*ONE, Pixy, Gfriend/Viviz, Billlie, Day6, A.C.E, BTOB, and The Boyz.

I wouldn’t say I really have biases, there are just certain members that catch my attention the most when I’m getting into a group (ie, Bang Chan from Stray Kids or Vernon from Seventeen), but as I get to know a group better, I like them all equally.      

Important notes!

I don’t really have any DNI rules right now. Like, I don’t want terrible people on my blog, but I don’t think there’s anything I can do to stop them from reading my stuff so

Feel free to ask me anything! Just know that I have boundaries and will interact with your asks accordingly. If I don’t answer an ask, it’s probably just because it’s something I’m not comfortable talking about. 

Be warned: I swear quite a bit, and a lot of my work can be heavily suggestive.

HOWEVER, I do not write straight-up smut. I’d say my sort of work should be rated something along the lines of TV-14, some of my work is definitely for mature audiences, but not necessarily 18+

For information on tags, check out the tag directory 

Before requesting anything, please read my request/blog rules

[acadernia]

081721. shipping out an etsy order + more journaling — about a month til i'm back on campus and i can't wait :,)

#not super active right now because it's just been a lot of journaling at home in sweats ngl ;_; #studyblr #studyspo #light academia #dark academia #phoebe bridgers #art #university #productivity #bujo #bujospo #sonderstudy #lookrylie #gloomstudy #revisicn #stuhde #captainofstudies #jeonchemstudy #handwriting tag #summer 2021

[fruitoftheweek]

Little Cherry Book:

Chapter 1: Who is She?

Chapter 2 Here/ Chapter 3 Here

I guess this is a Switch!Spencer (mainly Sub! Spencer)X reader fan fiction this is my first fan fiction I’ve written since middle school so bare with me and feel free to message me constructive criticism. This will probs be multiple chapters but I just couldn’t get this idea off of my mind so here we go! And yes this season 1/2 Spencer because he is just the cutest!

Pairing: Spencer Reid X reader

Plot: Doctor Spencer Reid has heard of little black books, but that pales in comparison to what he has just found in the BAU’s elevator. A sweetly scented notebook filled with salacious journal entries illustrating the writer's sexual fantasies. He doesn’t know what it is about this book but all he can think of is finding its owner.

TLDR: Spencer finds your kinky notebook and uses super sleuth skills to find you.

Series TW: 18+, smut, degradation, piercing, choking, knife play, mommy/daddy kinks, spanking, exhibitionism, Will update as time goes on

Chapter TW: Cumming in pants, Hinting at sex, exhibitionism, no panties, Language, General 18+, Hinting at future kinks

Word Count: 2,439 (gah damn)

𝒯𝒪 𝒲𝐻𝒪𝑀 𝐼𝒯 𝒞𝒪𝒩𝒞𝐸𝑅𝒩��:

𝒟𝑜 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹, 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓂𝓎 𝓈𝒶𝓀𝑒, 𝒷𝓊𝓉 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇𝓈. 𝐼 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝒷𝑒 𝓌𝓇𝒾𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓂𝓎 𝓃𝒶𝓂𝑒 𝒾𝓃 𝒸𝒶𝓈𝑒 𝒾𝓉 𝒸𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓈 𝒾𝓃𝓉𝑜 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓌𝓇𝑜𝓃𝑔 𝒽𝒶𝓃𝒹𝓈. 𝐼𝒻 𝒾𝓉 𝒸𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓈 𝒾𝓃𝓉𝑜 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓇𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉 𝒽𝒶𝓃𝒹𝓈, 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒸𝒶𝓃 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒹 𝓂𝑒. 𝐼𝒻 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒸𝑜𝓃𝓉𝒾𝓃𝓊𝑒, 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓈𝒽𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝒷𝑒 𝒸𝓊𝓇𝓈𝑒𝒹, 𝒷𝑜𝓉𝒽 𝒾𝓃 𝒶 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒸𝒽𝓎 𝓌𝒶𝓎 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉𝒶𝓁𝓁𝓎. 𝒴𝑜𝓊 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝒷𝑒𝑒𝓃 𝓌𝒶𝓇𝓃𝑒𝒹.

As Spencer read these sentences, he paused. Not for the warning of so-called curses, there was no scientific evidence for such things and Spencer knew magic was just science with a trick of the eye, but for the vehement warning making him feel intruding on whoever had left their journal in the elevator.

It had caught his eye as he stepped into the elevator on his way out of the office. As someone who had lost plenty of books in his days roaming the halls of the BAU, he knew how frustrating it was to not know what happened at the end. As he picked it up, he noticed the cover. It was old, bound in aged cherry red leather, yet too small to be more than a pocketbook. He had found your message while searching for a name to return the book to, and simply reading the first page already felt prying.

Alas, one sentence enticed him “If it comes into the right hands, You can find me.” Where his hands the right ones to come into? The probability of that could be found easily by calculating how many people got on and off of this specific elevator that day, no, in the past hour, with the hustle and bustle of people leaving for the day. Spencer could and he would calculate it he wasn’t so distracted by the message and his voracity to solve this mystery.

Tentatively, he flipped the page, finding a handwritten table of contents. This book had obviously been very important to the reader if they had taken the time to write in page numbers, detailed headings, and chapters. The table was nearly full of chapter titles in scrawled cursive lettering. His eyes stopped on the first chapter title. “Male Needs” with shakey lettering. He could tell by your handwriting that you grew more confident in your journaling as the chapters progressed, the hesitations in your strokes growing few and far between.

As he flipped the page once more he had reached the next floor and a large group of people bustled into the elevator. Spencer shied away from them, not just because he had an aversion to contact with strangers and their germs, but because of the sentences, he had read underneath that first chapter “I do not need a man, a man needs me. Yet, when I am with a man, I have needs. Needs that most men can’t fulfill. I need a man that eats pussy like it’s the only way to quench his thirst-“ and with that Spencer slammed the book shut, earning some confused looks from the others on the elevator. He should have heeded the warning because now all he could think about was the fact that this was your nervous entry and as your confidence grew, it was bound to escalate from there. He wasn’t sure if it was his flustered mind or the heat growing deep from inside him that made him feel dirty; not because it scandalized him, but because these were someone’s fantasies and he had intruded in their secrets and soiled them with his mind.

Ding! He had reached the ground floor and that was when he decided to leave it alone. He couldn’t bring it to the lost and found as it would be more likely to end up in the wrong hands there and your secrets would be for someone else to find, not that he even knew who you were.

On his drive home, he tried to think of anything else besides the book. His lunch, Garcia’s new item she added to her collection, how to get back at Derek for putting salt in the sugar container, but his mind kept wandering. It didn’t help that the notebook sat tauntingly on top of his satchel as if saying “Open me, you know you want to. You want to know who I am. You can find me.” There was no way that it had been there for that long as the janitor was on duty today and he had been on the elevator two hours ago on his way to clean the top floor. Since Spencer had left a little later than most people that meant there were multiple elevators full of people who would have noticed. He knew it wasn’t so but part of him felt as if you had left it there specifically for him to find. Like it was made for him. He quickly shook off the thought and went back to who it could be. He wanted to return it without reading any more. You clearly would miss it but he couldn’t imagine you wanted others to know about what lay in those folded corners of your book and your mind.

As he walked up the steps of his complex, he clutched onto the notebook with all of his strength, he feared that he would look down and it would have disappeared, he wanted to keep your deepest secrets safe as if they were his own. He was only able to relinquish his grip when he shut and locked the door to his apartment. He set it on the table as he got prepared for the night. By now he had limited his pool to 54 women who were regularly in and out of the elevator at that time of day which was a cut down in comparison to the 860 roughly women in that building on any given day. But that number still wasn’t small enough. He had to minimize the sample size even further. That was the only reason he reopened to the table of contents, right? Not because of his own morbid curiosity and definitely not because of the heat burning in his stomach.

He looked down at the page numbers, still too nervous to look at the titles, and saw that each entry was a page long consisting of 23 entries and one with a title but no page numbers. Not chapters as he previously thought but entries giving lascivious details into what he had not yet mustered up the courage to read. He was still unable to look at the titles in fear of what he might find. If graphic depictions of female oral sex were displayed under “Male Needs”, what possibly could lie ahead.

For now, he studied the handwriting. Cursive, not often used by many younger women, was often associated with antiquities and traditional values but he noticed something off. There was a very specific curl to certain numbers. Every even number had a specific extra curl or flourish to it and the zeros had a line through it like a “do not enter” sign. This went directly against the hypothesis that you were an older woman that the cursive provided; as many older women who wrote in cursive stuck to the rules even when it came to numbers. She wasn’t old enough to even be Hotch’s age but she appreciated the charm of the past. 'Who is this girl?' Spencer wondered. He was able to narrow it down to about half of his previous lot, excluding the women on his team. He had seen them write enough to know their handwriting inside and out. And while Garcia’s had similar flourishes to yours, she never crossed her zeros.

Spencer knew that he would have to read at least the chapter titles to grasp a better understanding of your handwriting and who you could possibly and as his eyes scanned the page, for the first time in a while he was actually reading slowly; putting all of his focus into each word and what order they were in. Unfortunately, his focus was his downfall. His face became so hot that he felt as if you could see steam coming off of it.

Table of contents:

Male Needs

Praise

Degradation

Mommy

Daddy

Work

Exhibition

Choking

Collars

Breeding

And that was all he could take. Ha couldn’t look at the thirteen and a half more entries, even this much knocked the wind out of him. He didn’t have much experience with women and certainly not enough to understand what all of those words necessarily entailed but he knew that whatever it was keeping his internal fire roaring with heat.

While he hated snooping, he knew he would need more information. He chose the chapter that sounded the most mundane out of all of them, "Work." ‘What was more normal than work.’ he thought, but he was so sorely mistaken.

"Work:

"Before I move on to exhibitionism, I have to talk about work. Yes, I would love to have sex at work where I and my partner are one step away from getting caught, I haven’t done that yet. I want to tell you what I have done. Almost every day I go to work wondering if the others can tell that I’m not wearing underwear.”

His heat spread from his face down until it pooled in his loins and his cock became hard imagining this mystery girl walking the halls of the BAU with a breeze in her skirt, nearly exposing the secret that lied beneath. Had he sat next to you when you were partaking in this activity? What would he have done if your skirt bunched up your thigh as you sat, exposing the tan lines where your underwear should be. Would he be able to see you in your tight work pants with no pantie lines and be the only one who truly knows your secret?

“I kinda want to be caught someday by Him. I wonder what he would do. Would he tell me off for being unprofessional? Would he take me to that storage closet 3 doors past Garcia’s office, just far enough away that he could teach me a lesson for being naughty at work?”

He felt so dirty, inserting himself into the fantasies of a girl which he did not even know that he almost glanced across the use of Him, capital H.i.m. He wanted to indulge in his imagination that in some way or another that the “Him” in question was in fact the man reading this with trembling hands and an impossibly hard cock. He couldn’t stop himself from imagining situations in the storage closet that he regularly used as a reading nook when he needed time away from the others.

He rested his head on the pages of the book, hoping somehow that his dirty thoughts would be transplanted from his head and back into the pages so that he could stop thinking about you. His efforts were thwarted as this action meant that he could spoil himself in your scent that enveloped the book. As if you had wrapped it in the deepest most vulnerable part of you to hide it away from others. You smelled of bergamot, patchouli, and musk but deeper than that, you smelled like sweet, tart berries and honeysuckle in summer. There was something else that he couldn’t put his finger on at first but it was intoxicating all of his senses. It was saccharine, heat, and sex all combined in one. When it clicked, it no longer felt as if his head was pressed against a book but as if his he sat kneeling on the ground with his cheek resting in your inner thigh, your hot sex waiting for his indulgence, “like it's the only way to quench his thirst” echoed in his brain. The scent was your natural pheromones beckoning him closer with the promise of a treat.

And that was it. That was what sent him over the edge. The purest embodiment of your scent had him cumming, hot in his pants.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You sat down at the edge of your bed after a long day at work; shucking off your work clothes to get as comfy as you could in your PJs as a way to unwind from the day. You went to grab your lip balm from your bag and noticed that the front pocket of your bag had been left open. You instantly panicked, searching everywhere for your little red book. The one that kept the key to your deepest secrets and darkest fantasies. You tore your bag apart, knowing that you had it at the end of your workday because you took it out of your desk drawer and tucked it back into its home in your bag. You cursed your carelessness for not double-checking that you zipped your bag before leaving. With your forgetfulness, you knew it would happen one day but you didn't realize it would be this soon.

There was an odd mix in your heart and your stomach. Part of you felt your heart drop through your ass thinking that it had ended up in the wrong hands, part of you had butterflies thinking about someone knowing the deepest parts of you, intimately in your own words. You had the assurance that your name was nowhere to be seen in the book but you also knew that you worked with people who analyzed people's dark desires for a living. While none of your fantasies involved murder, they were like precious gems that you kept locked away in your heart. You couldn't dare imagine what would happen if it came into His hands. While you were the youngest at the BAU, only by a few months and you weren't even part of the group because you were still tentative, you couldn't put your dirty thoughts into the innocent head of the pretty boy genius. It was almost more worrisome than if SSA Hotchner or Gideon found it and you were fired. The idea of tainting someone so pure...

You had to literally shake your head to clear your thoughts. Imagining His face tinged red in innocence reading through your lewd writing had your head in a tizzy. Imagining Doctor Spencer Reid sifting through the pages with lightning-fast fingers, stroking down the pages of smut as you had imagined him stroking down your thighs so many times before. You decided to bury your head in your pillow, hoping that would calm your mind enough to slip into slumber.

Unfortunately for you both, your efforts would be fruitless and you would both go to sleep unknowingly thinking of each other.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 2 Here/ Chapter 3 here

And that's Chapter one. Hope y'all like it. LMK in my messages and all that <3 have a great week!

#Spencer Reid smut #Spencer Reid imagine #Spencer Reid x reader #spencer reid blurb #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid angst #criminal minds smut #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds #sub spencer #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid #sub!spencer #mommy kink

[alegzandryan]

Prepping for a Ritual

So since I am doing these things as we speak I thought I would go through some ritual things that I find useful, for anyone that feels overwhelmed or unprepared for ritual work. I know tumblr and tiktok have pushed a lot of easy jar spells on us, but there really is something more to a ritual setting, even a simple one. And as it goes without saying, this is my personal idea of a guide and everyone is entitled to their own opinion and practice.

Get your supplies ready the day before the ritual. ESPECIALLY if you are going outside/somewhere outside your home. Collect all the things you will need and put them together. This will give you a day to remember all the things you forgot before it's time, instead of in the middle of your ritual

Choose what you are going to wear the day before, too. Some people take aesthetic very seriously but others dont. Either way, give some thought to what you are wearing. Is that crystal necklace good for what you are doing? Are those pants comfortable enough to sit for 30 minutes in? Comfortability is just as important as presentation for ritual, so dont wear that corset that hurts you after 15 minutes. You will need to focus on more important things.

Foot wear is also super underrated. Are you hiking 10 minutes into the forest to find a ritual spot? Wear boots. Are you in your house and want to go barefoot? Make absolutely sure you are not going to step on a ritual tool and make yourself bleed, or curse to some gods about the existence of legos in the middle of your ritual

Make some stuff for a cleansing/power bath. I usually assemble ingredients and things day before, then go to bed, and do a quick ritual bath before the actual ritual. Steep a hair rinse or charm a fancy body wash before hand so you dont have to focus on that spell, too.

Do a tarot reading/your preferred divination, before bed the day before you do a ritual. It can be quick or extensive, it doesnt matter. But it can be good to get some guidance before you are gearing up for a spell or ritual, and have some time to think about it before you are minutes away from it.

Prepare food and water, once again especially if you are going outside. Rituals can take a lot out of you depending on what you are doing, and food and drink are very easy and quick ways to help ground yourself if you are shaky or need help coming back to a relaxed state. If you are struggling, boiling pasta or microwaving stuff is the last thing on your mind, or maybe even your ability. So have some fruit snacks or granola bars or cookies or something-- easy to take and easy to eat-- with you. Trust me, this is more important than a lot of people realize. It's a good after-ritual practice and one you should be ready for

Think about your intent and purpose. Set aside some time day-before to do this, maybe 30 min to 1 hr I would say. Maybe make an entry in your BOS if you are the journaling type. This serves 2 functions: one is to charge your intent before the spell. It will give you more oomph and precision in your spell casting, or more prepared behavior if you are speaking to gods. Think about what you want to ask them, what you want them to know, how much respect you should give them, or what they may ask of you. What are you willing to do for them, and what are you not?

The second function is that it gives you time to back out of something. Not all spells are meant to be cast, and especially not if you are in a high emotion before it. Give yourself a day to prepare, an hour to think over, why am I doing this? SHOULD I be doing this even? There is nothing wrong with changing your mind. Doing things impulsively in magic isn't typically beneficial to the caster most of the time. Think through potential consequences, too. How could it back fire? How could it go right but in the wrong way? Is there a better way to get what you want? Can you add a caveat, or a time limit on the spell? Are you using parts of a closed practice and not really thought about it before now?

If you are doing spell work in the out-of-your-house-space-land, even if it is just like, in your appartment parking lot, the park down the street or even your own backyard, make sure someone somewhere knows about it. I know not everyone is out of the broom closet, but even if you just have to tell your friends you are stargazing or something, make sure SOMEONE knows and has a check in time for you. There are creeps and terrible people everywhere, and not to spook anybody, but doing magic can often attract animals or any assortment of beings who want to watch/investigate you. I have been given a heart attack by a baby antelope at dawn before. I have also been given a heart attack by a forest spirit asking wtf I was doing there. I know it doesnt exactly feel witchy to have your cellphone crammed in your waistband, but trust me, better safe than sorry. Be it humans or otherwise, doing magic in the dark in total secret is just not realistic to your safety. Take someone with you and have them wait in the car or around the corner if you can. Once again, make sure someone, somewhere, has a set time to call or come get you in, incase you get kidnapped or fae-napped. Your wellbeing is a much higher priority than any magic spell.

Also familiarize yourself with nearby wildlife. Even if you are in the city, check out what raccoon eyes look like in flashlight, or maybe if your suburb is prone to stray cats or dogs. Check out a rabies registry as well, so you know what kind of risk you are looking at around such animals. Rabid animals are actually more prone to being unafraid of human contact and will readily let a person touch them. Do NOT interact with wild animals. No, they are not a sign or a gift from your god. Most animals are curious about magic in general, but that doesnt make them not wild. Do not interact. If you are in a less populated space, you should also check out what kind of wild life is native to your area and how dangerous they are. Deer will startle themselves into you like getting hit by a BMW and bears and cougars can be active day or night, as well as Bobcats, snakes, or coyotes. Check out your local wildlife center for advice on how to handle what lives in your area

(Last outdoors advice, I promise) also check out what kind of myths and legends existed on the land you are on, ESPECIALLY if you live in north america. Knowing who's land you are on should be important to your practice anyway, and knowing what kind of creatures may be out there may save you some distress later. Indigenous cultures should be respected, and their tales can tell you what's around your area. And I dont care where the hell you live, if you hear whistling in the darkness/forests, it is one of several things coming to get you and none of them are good. Get gone and DONT whistle back. Or at all. No whistling guys. Bad.

For indoor rituals, make sure you wont be disturbed. Much like meditation, rituals are very dependent on focus and intent. Interruptions can mess with your outcome.

More indoor advice, checkout your lighting and ventilation well before you do your ritual. For instance, my altar is in a walk in closet-- there is no way in hell I am burning 4 candles and an incense in that room. I would have to do it in my living room or bedroom where there are windows, or find a way to eliminate the candles. Is the room dark enough to fit your ritual? Is it light enough that you can read your notes? (also make notes/write up a copy of the spell, it helps so much) Make sure you have enough light to see what you are doing properly.

I am a big advocate of "do not over cleanse your life, stop over cleansing" however, if that is something you do a lot of, make sure all your tools and whatnot are cleansed and prepared day before. You can shave a 2hr ritual down to 30 min if you get all of your prep work done day before, which is nice. And it once again gives you time to say "shit I forgot that one thing I need to cleanse" an hour later and still not interrupt your ritual because it is day before.

If you are an of-legal-age type person and doing some drug/alcohol part of your magic, make double sure you have food, water, and a buddy system. You may not need a designated driver if you aren't going out of your house, but you still need a designated sober person to make sure you dont like, astral travel out of your body and get replaced with a pod person, or get hurt trying to cast a circle with a ritual knife while high. Know your limits well before you use them in ritual and, I cannot emphasize this enough, have a friend to keep you under scrutiny incase something goes wrong and you need help.

If you are having the OTHER kind of must-be-of-age type of ritual, be sure your partner is well informed. Maybe have a dress rehearsal so you are both on the same page about mechanics and consent. Speed run through the general timing and motions, and talk about what each of you expect to get out of the ritual. Is it for bonding? Or are you using the energy to try to charge something? Is it for fertility? Are you both good to have ritualized sex (I know that seems like an obvious question, but you would be surprised by how many partners clam up about sexual things to try to not disappoint their partner). If you are a witch and your partner is not, be sure they know what to expect, and that they 100% want to do it even though it's not necessarily their practice and not just to be a people pleaser. If you havent done anything like this before either, tell them that, too. Honestly is 100% required here

And lastly, keep your cool. It's easy to get over excited or over anxious about this kind of thing, but honestly with a little prep time you have a high change of doing awesome. And even if you dont? That's okay too. Everyone makes mistakes, we all learn from those mistakes, and every single experience you acquire will level you up until you are the best at being you. Do what feels right, trust your gut, do some reading, and keep calm and witchy on.

#witchblr #ritual #ritual work #spell #spell work #witch tips #ritual prep #witch advice #chaos witch #eclectic paganism #wicca #diety work #diety ritual #witchcraft #chaos witchcraft #solitary witch #solitary witchcraft

[seafoamreadings]

week of may 2nd, 2021

aries: if taurus season has felt stifling as though someone has buried your fire, the beginning of movement into gemini this week may help. it is not officially gemini season yet, but by the end of the week both mercury and venus are there and the world around you regains any sense of humor it has lost recently.

taurus: don't let the beginning of the week lull you into any false sense of stability. you're doing uranus right now, nothing is quite truly stable. your ruler venus trines pluto and squares jupiter at the end of the week and then moves into airy gemini right away, bringing her time in her home sign to an end for another year (excluding cousin libra, anyway). try to embrace the gemini qualities that feel a little foreign to you after that point.

gemini: there's a lot going on this week but the key point for you is your ruler mercury making his ingress into your sign. there will be a retrograde here shortly so you may feel the stirrings of that immediately.

cancer: beckoning to you this week is the soul's desire for your attention. do not neglect your spiritual work, especially by the end of the week and into next week, with so much activity going on in gemini.

leo: saturn, in your opposite sign, is squared this week by the sun in taurus, which is more or less your 10th house. so this week you are more likely than usual to see your relationship go official or to have some personal secret publicized. while the 7th house (aquarius for you) is most often associated with love relationships, it has also been known as the house of one's open enemies. so if you have any such people, be wary of them at this time.

virgo: mercury and venus both move into fellow mercurial sign gemini this week. mercury will go retrograde there later on, and you probably start to sense the omens shortly after its ingress there. keep detailed notes, write journals, and early this week try to get all your data backed up in case of retrograde snafus. it's a stereotype but largely because there's a grain of truth in it.

libra: venus in gemini is auspicious for all air signs. for you it is a beautiful spiritual period or good academic fortune, if you do academia. or if you're thinking about it, it's a good time to start! excursions to far away places are also blessed during her stay there, which begins later this week.

scorpio: venus has been in your opposite sign (and your relationships) for a long time. she now moves into gemini later this week. this isn't so bad though - even though gemini is somewhat foreign vibe for the majority of scorpio people, as its your 8th house there is also some affinity for it. it feels a little bit like home. love that is solid grows deeper now. love that is flimsy may pass on.

sagittarius: mercury and then venus move into your sign this week. mercury will go retrograde before very long, but meanwhile this is super fun energy for your partnerships and flirtations. make good use of it!

capricorn: as usual you're the rock to your friends, family, and colleagues in weird times. the times are only getting weirder from here (for a while at least). it is possible that they try to take too much of your empathy, so prioritize yourself this week.

aquarius: we are in jupiter's last days in your sign. his ever-benevolent presence has been a gift to you. but his movement into neighboring pisces is not bad for you by any means. actually the benevolence shifts to the potential for financial growth. but for this week, he's still with you, and it's a good time to enjoy that, especially with saturn there being, well, saturn. meanwhile all the gemini activity may not be great for relationships per se but it IS great for taking on a romanticized outlook on life.

pisces: this flurry of gemini activity, which does not stop at this week, is a little tense but actually really nice for your home life, if you let it be. be open and as loving and communicative as you can. meanwhile, jupiter is just about to grace your sign with his luxurious presence, so get excited!

#astrology #transits #horoscopes #weekly horoscope #signs #zodiac #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #sagittarius #capricorn #aquarius #pisces

[pig-wings]

I feel like I've been posting a lot of personal shit, so sorry about that, but what is tumblr but a glorified journal?

The hammer of the quarter-life crisis has slammed down on me. Or, maybe it was a crocodile under the reeds that snapped up and dragged me down. Either way, it feels like I ran into a wall I didn't know was there, and the death-roll is very real right now. I didn't know this was a thing until I asked some slightly old friends/family/my fiance about it and they were like "uh, yeah".

At least I can identify a clear trigger. I started a new job this week that was not represented to me super accurately in the interview. It is a terrible fit and I will not be getting the responsibilities I was promised. I plan on leaving it ASAP, and actually have a phone screen for a different role on Monday. So, good things. But knowing that I made a bad decision with this job--because part of this is my fault, because I sort of impulsively took the job, desperate to get away from 12 hr shifts--has absolutely paralyzed me as I restart my job hunt. I have no clue what I want to do with my life anymore, because my dream careers are not super feasible and do not pay enough to live here. I don't know what jobs I want to work, or at least could work. I am terrified of making another bad decision and being stuck with it, because I can't leave another job within a month. And, of course, I'm sitting here staring down the 9-5 grind and thinking...is this all there is?!

Which has led to me absolutely despairing. I shut off my brain completely at work. I come home and am immediately consumed by a black ball of dread. I'm not sleeping. I'm not eating. I'm not even doing anything that I like doing. I can only stare at my phone, chew my nails, maybe start to cry when it all reaches a crest. I feel powerless in all aspects. Worst of all, I'm suicidal again, which is something I felt a little of in graduate school and a lot of in my teens. It's not the blistering hot feeling from my childhood, but it's a dark, tarry feeling. More of a passive feeling than an active wish.

I am considering leaving this job immediately to start job hunting full time. The market for my field is incredibly hot. But that too feels like a mistake, a huge potential for regret. What if I'm unemployed for months? What if being unemployed makes me impulsively take another job? What if this is a cycle for me?

I'm going through a lot of changes right now, and I know that this meltdown was inevitable. But it still sucks. I've been out of school for about a year now. I miss the stability it provides. I miss the feeling of still being hopeful that I can make a career out of something I really, really care about. I miss feeling like myself. Grad school gutted me. I am still incredibly bitter about it. All of my interests were dismissed by my peers as being too nerdy, or I was told that I wasn't interested enough, and that I wasn't really anyone's peer. Just a kid to dismiss, because I went to graduate school straight from undergraduate. They told me, a hard-of-hearing woman, that I wasn't a real ornithologist because I didn't recognize most bird calls. It feels like grad school scooped my chest out and never filled it back in. I haven't been able to figure out what I want to do after graduate school, and my mentor hasn't provided me with any insight or help. Out of three people who graduated from my grad lab this past year, I am the only one employed. I think that's pretty telling. I am starting to realize that a person whom I really looked up to let me down in many ways and actively hurt me in others.

Regardless, I've never felt so lost, so directionless, so passionless. I know it will pass. I know that it's normal. But I can't shake the feeling that it will never end, or that all of my decisions are bad. At least I have Blueberries by Mary Oliver, which speaks to the feelings in my heart I can't name.

#personal

[tinacentury]

My dear @kasienda tagged me in this WIP ask, and I’m super grateful to her for thinking of me even though I live in what is essentially a dissertation analysis cave right now. I swear between that and working from home, I sometimes forget that I’m not actually quarantined and get absurdly delighted by things like trips to the library. Anyway, I haven’t been writing much because of said analysis cave, but I’ve got a couple things I can say here. I’d feel guilty about not having that much, but meh, I don’t 🤷‍♀️.

Rules: Share the titles of each of your current WIPs, and, if your followers ask, share a preview of the one that sounds the most interesting. Send this on to ten mutuals who you are curious what they’re working on.

Bold of you to assume I come up with titles this early in my writing process 😅. But here’s what I have in my phone note notes and/or Google docs

-untitled enemies to lovers smut (ish) fic. This started as fic based on the usamamo week 2021 prompts and is currently potentially a smutember fic, but since I’m very much team “fanfiction deadlines are a social construct” (unless it’s an exchange), it’s looking like it’s going to be the next piece in my Lemonade Stand series, whether it gets posted in September or not.

-untitled day and night lacunae chapter/sort of prequel to Belonging fic. This is my “Mamoru’s going to Harvard” fic. Y’all, I wrote this 3 years ago. @kasienda beta’d it 3 years ago. I based Belonging on things I established in it. And yet it’s still missing like one final scene that I just haven’t gotten around to writing. I think I had a bit of a personal block with it when I was doing long-distance myself, but I’m not anymore (one of the silver linings of 2020), so I have no excuse.

-Contrition sequel. Earlier this summer, I was straight up inspired for this. Then my dissertation survey closed and I suddenly had data to deal with. I do WANT to write this. And, in a few weeks, I’ll pull out the fall candle I burned while writing Contrition and maybe I’ll be inspired all over again. We’ll see.

Active WIPs that have at least one chapter published on Ao3: 

Even bolder if you to assume that I have multiple multichapters floating around 😂😅. I still have some prompts people sent me that I want to write for My Own Little Stage (I had a lot of fun with that a few months ago), so that should happen…eventually.

Active WIPs that are currently unpublished: 

I feel like the answer to this is the same as the answer to the first question.

I’m just going to go ahead and put a preview/snippet here. This is from the “Mamoru goes to Harvard” one. And it’s rough, as I apparently still haven’t made kasienda’s edits to it…

He ran his fingers over the thick manila envelope he held, his name and university neatly typed on the front in English.

A junior research fellowship at Harvard. Harvard.

The chances of getting in had been astronomically low. Mamoru had only submitted his thesis to the program to get Professor Tamako off his back about applying. He had sent in his materials last year, then forgotten about in in the midst of the Dead Moon Circus and stolen dream mirrors and literally feeling the Earth’s sickness.

He had written it off. When he’d received an email from Dr. Tamako yesterday asking to meet with him to discuss some “exciting news”, Harvard hadn’t even crossed his mind. He thought maybe they’d had a journal article or a conference proposal accepted. 

He never thought he’d hear, “So, are you ready to move to Boston?”

Mamoru sighed, the breeze gently ruffling his hair, as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small red velvet box and held it in his palm. 

No, he was not ready to move to Boston.

I tag…anyone who wants to play 😃.

#tumblr asks #fanfiction asks #on my writing

[reynie-muldoons]

'Depends on the Wagon' liveblog!

I saw someone do timestamps in their liveblog and it was absolutely lovely, so I think I'll try that too

1:55 why does Curtain sound like an mlm ceo LMAO

2:07 WOW ASSHOLE 😂😂 waving off your own teacher when he was complimenting you is not the vibe

2:17 so Dr. Curtian is only available through chain emails. Got it.

2:27 he seems like the kind of asshole to say that people on welfare are lazy and exploitave but then like, not pay his taxes

2:42 I DON'T LIKE HOW HE SAID THAT, THAT WAS CREEPY

2:47 oooooh Constance, always asking the right questions

3:05 Kate, why are you yelling, it's literally past curfew 😂

3:35 oh hai Jackson.. gtfo

4:22 oh yeah, the best way out is through the hallway that Jackson just entered. Good plane, babe.

4:25 soooo Kate Depending On Friends arc :)

4:59 AYYY HI RHONDA!!

5:13 why do I kinda fucking love then all deciphering the Morse code together

5:20 so the kids use the gemini riddle? Not the adults???

5:36 his face when he figures it out 😭😭😭

5:46 Nathaniel? Guess that's Dr. Curtain's name now. Less ridiculous than Ledroptha, but you dont get the badass Let Drop the Curtain reference

6:53 okay so no one knew he had a brother? But he did???

7:21 his faaaace 🥺

7:29 AWWW HE COULDNT BRING HIMSELF TO SHARE 😭😭😭 okay I'm kinda on board with the change if they can make it work in the long-haul

7:42 hi Milligan, good timing 😂

7:56 "not the time.........I'll take a dozen" Number Two my LOVE

8:23 interesting. I dont think Mr. Benedict was adopted in the books? He certainly didn't let Violet's family, the Hopefields, because he knew their financial troubles would be even worse. So who?

8:54 ohhhh dear, stages of grief at work. Maybe don't do that

9:05 I talked about this in the MBS discord server, but I think the show is really nailing Mr. Benedict's feelings. He's always been an emotional person, but he has to be so careful. Bottling up your feelings only leads to bigger feelings later. It makes so much sense for Mr. Benedict to be a whirlpool of strong, repressed emotions.

9:11 MILLIGAN'S FACE JAHAHS

9:34 RHONDA'S FACE HAGSKDGDJ

9:40 Mr. Benedict, sweetheart 🥺❤

10:01 "brothers stick together" why does it sound like he's talking about Reynie here 😭😭😭😭

10:12 that is a good ass point, Mr. Benedict already lied to them once

10:21 it makes sense for Sticky to be the one questioning the most because of his anxiety, but damn

10:46 AWWWWWW

10:56 KATE MAKING A BED FORT KATE MAKING A BED FORT KATE MAKING A BED FORT

11:00 I dont like how aggressive Kate is but it makes sense considering she's been in the circus for years, taking care of herself for far longer than she hasn't. She's not good at depending on people, and she's not good with difficult people.

11:10 Yeahh, Constance gets it!

11:40 Yeahhh, Constance gets it

12:55 that teacher seemed pretty nice last episode, nice to see that they're not what they seem just the same as Dr. Curtain lol

13:28 CONSTANCE I LOVE YOU 😂😂

14:00 "check again" okay so Krista from the tests and Martina give off the same vibe.. perfect 😂

14:16 "yeah......hang in there :D"

15:05 all of the apologies to the general class.. he's such an anxious sweetheart. He's really reading as autistic to me.

My sister just called me 😑 it's like 8 am, I answered her like "did you ever consider that you might be waking me up?" She did not consider that 😂

15:22 Martina's face just growing more and more annoyed and disgruntled HAHA

15:29 that was CORRECT?? WHAAAA

15:51 throwback to when I compared Dr. Curtain to an mlm ceo.. definitely like a cult

16:44 ohhhh Martina

17:30 CONSTANCE HEARING VOICES HELLOOOOO

18:22 ayyyyyy helper man

18:40 he seems too cheery to be a helper .-. The helpers all being super sad made [redacted]'s story make a whole lot more sense

19:35 aaaand now we get to it. You know, it really does seem a lot more cultish on screen than in the book

19:53 WAIT CONSTANCE GOOD JOB PUTTING THE PIECES TOGETHER 😂😂😂😂

19:53 that cut to Milligan making that exact face was INCREDIBLE

20:05 was he tryna leave? Yeah, good fuckin luck bucko

20:10 "critical papers at home" my ass, they packed everything up

20:24 the stages of grief back at it. 🥺

20:38 their relationship >>>>

21:00 "located in the..?" *description of envelope* "located in the....?" *more description* "located in the????" 😂😂😂😂

21:34 ohhhhh Thursday must be the student ranking day

21:56 Martina seems like the kind to throw out "pick a god and pray" as a crit quote 😂

22:07 I don't see any of the Society'a names on the list. Maybe they havent been there long enough

22:17 OH SHIT JK THERE THEY ARE

22:25 ohh Kate and Constance

22:55 the combination of the ferry horn and the bell makes it weirdly grim

23:55 them bringing Kate up and reminding her that she's needed 😌✨

24:29 hi Milligan bb ilyyyy

24:35 real good lookout guys, y'all are so well hidden

24:52 AYY HE'S DOING IT KATE STYLE

26:31 "visionary" is a word for it

26:31 I really kinda love that Number Two and Rhonda are going to such depths to try and help Mr. Benedict figure this out for sure

26:56 Mr. Benedict fully walking away while they talk about his brothers accomplishments 😂 I'm laughing, but poor guy

27:08 his FACE 🥺

27:28 HERE'S THAT TANTRUM FROM THE TRAILER

27:28 take your guesses how many times will he fall asleep

27:50 "he just has to work through some things" you dont fuckin say

27:55 you mean to tell me he had a full blown meltdown and they didn't show him falling asleep once??

28:35 like father like daughter 😌✨

29:10 ayyyy secret desk compartment

29:19 honestly I'm surprised there were actually papers he needed and it wasnt an excuse to go confront Dr. Curtain

29:32 oh shit, how'd they manage to get that far inside? No one was there to guard it, but the maze itself is a security measure

29:42 KATE STYLE STRIKES AGAIN

29:47 ooooh I like Dr. Curtain's office

30:01 WAS THAT SQ AND DID HE JUST CALL DR. CURTAIN HIS DAD

30:41 birds have careers. Got it 😂

30:50 JOURNAAAL

31:02 the fox?? Reynard the fox???

31:27 ohhh here we go, Dr. Curtain sees himself in Reynie only to resent it later

31:37 Mr. Benedict called Reynie a leader once too.. the parallels have ✨begun✨

32:12 is this the "keep your enemies close" conversation??

32:15 I'm honestly surprised he called him Sticky and not George

32:42 IT IS SQ IT IS SQ IT IS SQ

32:59 sooo that starts by not letting his caution down with you

33:11 Dr. Curtain congratulating himself mid-conversation on saying something deep is so in character

33:20 "I was betrayed by someone very close to me" so that was Mr. Benedict. Who the fuck else would it be

33:23 WHAT DID I SAAAAY

33:31 oh noooo Reynie starts doubting Mr. Benedict here? Is that the move?

33:43 that transition was so pretty stoppp

33:53 again how hasn't he fallen asleep

34:55 ayyyy journal snooping

35:05 Constance, my love, you are cut throat

35:11 Milligan is in the DRYWALL? ohh buddy be careful

35:21 omfg are they talking about water polo 😂 I love that that's the sport of choice

35:51 ayyyy they put the Milligan dots together too. Shame the guy's not with them rn

36:36 so Mr. Benedict brings up cheating first? I really like how we get to see the adults riddling out what to send back, we didn't get that at all in the books

37:46 I LOVE THAT THEY KEPT "don't get caught"

38:51 Kate riddling out the island schematics engineer style is so like her

39:07 they're just walking out the door?? Huh???

39:29 babe... turn off your flashlight

39:33 AND THAT'S WHY

39:58 is that the precursor to chuckroot?

40:38 the papers were from his orphanage 🥺🥺🥺

41:14 why does that break my heart

41:19 Dr. Curtain and SQ doing shit together it just.. so heartwarming

42:00 HAHA

42:16 okay, so show!Curtain is a kissass 😂

42:35 wait wait wait so Dr. Curtain is actively trying to contain his brother? That would explain why the Recruiters were looking for him and weirdly not the kids

43:25 "power wants to be free" sounds more like a personal mantra than a conversation between engineers

43:41 YES A LETTER TO MISS PERUMAL

44:02 more voices. Poor Connie girl 🥺

44:36 he loves her so much 😭😭😭

44:45 SHE TRIED TO SEND HIM A CARE PACKAGE

45:13 WORRIED MOM TIMEEE

#mbs liveblog #mbs disney+ #depends on the wagon #mysterious benedict society #charity's talkies

[sakurablossomcreamlatte]

tiny giants made of tinier giants

Fandom: Gravity Falls

Relationships: Dipper Pines & Ford Pines

Characters: Dipper Pines, Ford Pines, Stan Pines (mentioned), Mabel Pines (mentioned)

Words: 3,596

Summary: “It’s two AM, and Ford has a visitor.” 

[AO3]

why would I work on any of my own WIPs or try and get my life together when I could write oneshots

(this work was inspired by this super sweet comic by @rosesanddoodl3s! I hope you don’t mind, I just really loved it and had to write some of my feels out)

Ford’s been back in his own world for approximately thirty-two hours, and yet it’s almost like he never left - sitting at his desk in his old room, scribbling in the back of his second journal and muttering hissed curses between his teeth. The Oregon sky sits inky and indigo outside the panes of his window, studded with stars, and despite their apathetic, twinkling benevolence Ford can’t shake the feeling that they’re watching him. 

It’s not something he can just let go of after thirty years on the run between dimensions. 

On top of snatching away his chance to finally take out that demon once and for all, mercilessly and swiftly as he was powerless to stop it - his idiot brother’s activation of the portal literally created an interdimensional rift. He spent most of the day figuring out a way to contain it... and subsequently wrestling the slippery splashes of interdimensional matter around the portal room into the glass orb he was able to create. At least he’s in good enough shape to do so, despite his age - not that Stan would have a clue, if the beer gut he’s developed over the years is anything to go by. 

He crosses out one equation and scribbles another, tugging at his hair in frustration. All that stands between Bill and his goals now is a veil of worryingly breakable glass. 

There has to be something else he can use to protect everyone until he can find something stronger. Project Mentem, maybe? Would the machine still even work? It would probably need some level of repair after thirty years of disuse - not that he’d even used it successfully the first time round. 

A tentative knock on the door jolts him from the letters and numbers that are starting to spin on the pages in front of his eyes, and he really hopes it’s not Stan - but then again, Stan’s not really the type to knock either. Brow creasing, Ford turns to face the door. “Yes?” 

The door slowly creaks open, and he can’t stop himself from raising an eyebrow at the sight of the boy twin - Dipper, that’s it - hovering apprehensively in the doorway, clutching what looks like the comforter from his bed. “Um, Great-Uncle Ford?” 

“Dipper?” Ford frowns again, closing the journal and setting his pen down as he checks his watch. It’s after two AM. “What are you doing up?” 

Dipper hesitantly crosses the threshold, and as he steps into the dim light of the room Ford notices that his eyes are red - and a little puffy. “I, uh…” he averts his gaze, biting his lip, “...couldn’t sleep.” 

“I… see.” Ford can feel his heart sink a little. Dipper and Mabel were certainly a lot to take in upon his arrival back in this dimension, considering the thought of descendants hadn’t even crossed his mind - but they seemed assured of themselves, despite the way Dipper had almost fainted and/or thrown up upon discovering that yes, Ford was the one who wrote the journal he was clutching in his hands. The bright-eyed expression of hope and determination the boy had turned to him with as he’d pulled the memory eraser gun from his rucksack was a stark contrast to the one on his face now, and Ford’s struck out of nowhere with a sudden urge to protect him - his sister, too. He’s only known them for a day and he already knows he never wants to see them cry. Ever. 

Stan might want him to stay away from them, but he certainly can’t stop him from caring about them - and if Dipper’s down here of his own volition, Ford certainly won’t push him away. “Did you have a bad dream?” 

“Something like that.” Dipper hugs the comforter to himself a little tighter, and Ford makes a decision, rising from his desk and crossing the room to take a seat on the couch. The kid’s wide-eyed gaze follows him, and Ford simply pats the cushion next to him as an invitation. 

Dipper comes to sit on the couch next to him, tugging the worn, patched blanket around his shoulders. There’s still something hesitant in the movements of his limbs, like he’s holding himself back, and something twinges uncomfortably within Ford’s chest. He doesn’t want either of the children to feel like that around him - but he just wants to protect them from the dangers Stan’s opened their world up to, regardless of how inadvertent it might have been, and for that he probably needs to keep his distance. Even now he feels like he’s breaking some arbitrary rule, with Dipper perched on the couch at his side - before a wave of indignation washes it away. It’s Ford’s house, damn it, not Stan’s - despite what he may have told them… and everyone else in this town.  

“Any reason you came to me rather than Stan…?” Ford ventures. He’s absolutely not against it - if anything, he feels strangely honoured that one of the kids came to him seemingly looking for comfort - but considering how long they’ve known him against how long they’ve known Stan, he has to wonder why. Dipper simply stares at his socked feet instead. 

Were ten year olds always this… small? Both the boy and his sister barely come up to Ford’s - and Stan’s - elbows. Are they just short for their age? What were we like compared to Dad? 

He wonders if it’s a good thing that he’s struggling to remember. 

“I….” Dipper starts, and then seemingly gives up on himself, thin shoulders slumping with a sigh. “Sorry. I just - I dunno. I don’t think Grunkle Stan’s… mad at me, as such, but I kind of… said some things to him yesterday.” He averts his eyes, curling a little further in on himself. 

Of course. Ford’s still smarting at the idea that his brother claimed his name as his own (and almost certainly amassed an impressive criminal record under it). Stan obviously cares about these kids - that part’s so glaringly obvious that even Ford can’t deny it - but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s essentially betrayed them. 

“Well,” Ford concedes, “it’s… a lot to take in. I think you’re handling it better than I might have at the age of ten.”

Dipper looks up at him, stricken. “I’m twelve.”  

Ford makes a mental note to correct his journal entry on the boy later. “I see. My apologies.” 

His great-nephew (and that feels so bizarre to think, knowing that less than forty-eight hours ago he wasn’t even aware of the kid’s existence) just deflates even further. “It’s... okay, I guess. I know I’m short.” He pulls his knees up to his chest. “I mean, it’s just really annoying right now. Grunkle Stan’s really tall - and so are you, actually - and so’s my dad. I guess I can’t be short forever, but… I dunno.” 

Right, their father. Shermie’s boy - David. 

“How is Shermie, anyway?” Ford ventures, and no sooner have the words left his mouth than he wishes he hadn’t asked - because at the mention of their elder brother’s name Stan’s face immediately falls, any light that might have remained leaving his eyes, and that tells Ford pretty much everything he needs to know. 

“What’s your father like?” 

The question leaves Ford’s lips before he even really has the time to think about how random it is. He hasn’t even seen David since… what, Thanksgiving in third year of college? His nephew was barely four or five years old at that point, a rambunctious child with big brown eyes and a mop of chestnut-coloured curls who gleefully ran around their parents’ apartment while Shermie chased after him, throwing out frantic, stuttered apologies in their dad’s direction. It’s crossed Ford’s mind every now and then while jumping between dimensions, but he’s always pushed it away just as quickly, not wanting to dwell on the pain of everything else he threw away the second he shook Bill’s hand. 

Dipper’s seemingly just as taken aback by the question as Ford is, and when he lifts his head to look up at him, brown eyes wide beneath his fluffy chestnut fringe, for a second it’s almost like he’s looking at a carbon copy of David himself… although he thankfully hasn’t inherited the infamous Pines nose. “My dad?” 

“Ah - yes.” Ford coughs, averts his own eyes. “I suppose - well, Mom babysat for Shermie sometimes.” 

Dipper’s brow lifts a little in the light of recognition, before furrowing again in thought. “He’s…” he trails off, visibly searching for the right adjective. “Nice. Kinda goofy, I guess. Mom always says that’s where Mabel gets it from.” 

“What does he do?” Ford presses. 

“He’s a software programmer.” Dipper’s shoulders relax, if only by a fraction. “And Mom’s a lawyer.” 

“A software programmer, huh?” A memory of Fiddleford holding up a laptop prototype with bright, shining eyes briefly floats to the surface, and a stinging pang of regret bounces painfully against the inside of Ford’s ribcage, and he tries to focus on the child sitting next to him - family that he didn’t even know he had. It’s more than he expected, and more than he could have asked for. “Does he work a lot?” 

“Yeah,” Dipper answers, kicking his feet under the seat of the couch. “He has his own business, but he works from home a couple of days a week - and he tries cooking dinner sometimes, but he’s not great at it.” His shoulders twitch beneath his blanket, the shadow of a laugh bubbling up. “One time he made us spaghetti sauce with ramen noodles - it was so gross. When Mom got home we ended up ordering Chinese food instead.”

Ford has to chuckle at that. “You know Shermie was never a great cook, either.” 

Dipper relaxes a little more, and his shoulder bumps against Ford’s elbow as he leans a tiny bit closer. “I don’t remember a whole lot about Grandpa Shermie,” he admits, hesitantly. “Mom always says he really loved us, though. And Dad always took us to the planetarium on our birthday, because he said that was his favourite thing to do with his dad when he was a kid.” 

And even if Ford’s trying to stave off his own looming anxiety about the very real possibility of the world as they know it ending, there’s something in his nephew’s words that lifts his own battle-scarred heart by just a touch. Maybe it’s knowing now that for all he left behind him when he hightailed it out of Backupsmore with two PhDs and a fat research grant cheque, back home Shermie turned out to be a good man, bringing the happy, excitable child Ford once knew as his nephew along that path with him. Seeing that David apparently grew up to be a good man himself, if the little smile that tugs at the corner of Dipper’s mouth when he talks about his parents is anything to go by. 

At least someone in this family of ours turned out to be remotely functional. 

Ford’s next question emerges a little more easily, the distance between them slowly beginning to close in fractional increments. “Did they give you your nickname?” 

The question had already arisen when Stan was catching him up on the family history - the name Mabel is a little old-fashioned, although sweet in its charm, but surely nobody would ever call their child Dipper legitimately? - and Stan had simply shrugged and grunted something along the lines of, ‘Look at the little goofus’s forehead. It’s like someone spilled hot sauce on his face.’ 

He would, if the kid would stop vibrating with anxiety/pen clicks long enough to sit still. Not that it was even necessary, with the carefully inked sketch - which, sure enough, was a dead ringer for the Big Dipper - he’d found flipping through the third journal under the entry titled, ‘Your new author!’. 

He’s ten - no, twelve. Ford won’t hold it against him. 

Back in the present, Dipper nods. “Dad said Grandpa pointed it out to him when we were little and then he couldn’t unsee it, and then they both started calling me Dipper and it just… stuck.” He hugs his knees. “I feel like it fits. My real name’s kind of dumb, anyway.” 

There’s probably not much that could be dumber than naming a pair of twins Stanford and Stanley, but Ford decides not to push it. “Well, it’s certainly unique.” 

Dipper shrugs and averts his gaze, and a silence falls between them… but after a few moments, there’s a soft weight against Ford’s arm as he leans against him. 

Slowly, hesitantly, he lifts his arm to rest it around the boy’s shoulders. He doesn’t know what the hell he’s expecting - but Dipper doesn’t jolt, or flinch away. Instead, he simply shifts to rest his head against Ford’s chest with a soft exhale. 

That in itself can only be a testament to the kind of fathers Shermie and David turned out to be. When Mabel threw her little sweater-clad arms around his neck earlier that night and chirped, “goodnight, Grunkle Ford!”, the wave of longing and affection that surged through his chest was so powerful that it both ached and almost took him off his feet at the same time. 

He’d forgotten what love - and the affection that goes hand in hand with it - felt like, and in one simple hug from a niece he didn’t even know he had, it had come rushing back with all the force of a tsunami. These kids - Mabel especially - are so strangely warm and open, with each other, and with Stan and that young man - what was his name, Zeus? no, Soos - and now with Ford himself, too. And Dipper could barely make eye contact or stop shaking, but in the middle of the night, worn down by exhaustion - and he hasn’t missed the shadows under the boy’s eyes, either - he’s far more subdued, seemingly removed from the stammering, gagging ball of pen-clicking anxiety that had first greeted him after he’d set foot back in this world. 

Either way, they’re certainly a far cry from himself and Stan. 

Belatedly, Ford realises that his eyes are stinging a little, and he awkwardly clears his throat. Dipper doesn’t say anything. Beneath his fringe, his eyes are distant, and Ford can only wonder what he’s thinking. 

“Is…” he winces at how his own voice breaks the silence, but they’ve already crossed this line. He doesn’t even know what it means to be an uncle, but if something’s bothering the kid, he wants to help. “Is there... another reason you can’t sleep, Dipper?” 

This town’s fascinating, but it’s also dangerous, and in those six years he lived here Ford had more than his fair share of close shaves. Dipper’s thin arms are covered by his blanket right now, but during the day, the thin lines and dots of scars and scrapes that traverse his skin haven’t escaped Ford’s attention. 

Ford can only wonder what he’s seen, and he hopes to God it’s not the same thing that sparked his own suffocating paranoia. 

He can feel Dipper’s shoulders stiffen beneath his forearm, and for a few long moments, another silence descends. 

When Dipper does answer, his voice is quiet, partially muffled by his comforter. “S-sometimes it’s just…” he trails off, shifting slightly against Ford’s chest. “Difficult.” 

It doesn’t exactly provide much of an explanation, and Ford sighs. It was probably a step too far to expect Dipper to open up right away - if anything, he’s grateful for the way he’s here with him now, even if it’s explicitly against Stan’s wishes. 

Dipper’s voice breaks the quiet once again. “Anyway… I wanna know more about you. Like…” he trails off, searching. “What were you and Grunkle Stan like when you were twelve?” 

A laugh bubbles up in Ford’s chest at the innocence of the question. It’s a lifetime ago now, like Stan had said. Before they thought anything could ever break them apart, when they were just two identical best friends - brothers, even - with a dream of sailing away from their shitty little town. 

“Didn’t Stan already tell you? He was a troublemaker and I was… well, a nerd, I suppose.” 

Dipper leans against his side, relaxing once again - and it’s a relief. If they have to do this on his terms, that’s fine. Hopefully the kid might open up to him when he’s ready, whenever that may be. “I mean… we heard Stan’s side of the story. I guess I wanted to hear yours.” 

Ford casts his mind back. “Well, Stan wasn’t wrong - he was a troublemaker.” A chuckle. “But then again, I suppose I wasn’t entirely innocent either…” 

The stories flow from him more easily than he would expect them to - for some reason, it doesn’t hurt as much to tell Dipper, who listens, giggles here and there, occasionally interjects with some quip or aside that shows Ford that for all that’s happened in the last forty or fifty years, there are parts of his brother that haven’t necessarily changed. With each story he recalls, hazy days gone by that leave his lips as a shared memory, Dipper slumps a little further into his lap - and in some complete paradox, the heavier the kid rests against him, the lighter his heart feels. 

Somewhere in the back of his mind as he’s regaling Dipper with the tale of Fiddleford’s disastrous attempt at a college open mic night - guest starring that godforsaken banjo - he wonders if it might be worth revising the entry he wrote about the kid in the third journal. 

It’s still painful to think about Fiddleford, though, and Ford hopes that one day he’ll get the chance to apologise. 

Even so, it still comes back to Stan. It often does. And for some reason, it’s easier to separate them in his mind - Stanley, the goofy, scrappy little smartass with half his front teeth missing who always pulled Ford up by his armpits when bullies knocked him down and tried to pin most of his mishaps on Shanklin the possum, and Stan, the exhausted, hollow-eyed stranger in a hooded jacket who showed up on his doorstep on that fateful day in 1982… who’s evidently reinvented himself as the man they now know as Stanford Pines, with a fez perched atop his now-grey hair and lies and blatant falsehoods falling from his lips. 

“It’s kind of crazy imagining Grunkle Stan as a kid,” Dipper murmurs. He looks like he’s having a progressively harder time trying to keep his eyes open. “Like… Mabel and I only ever knew him as this weird old scam artist guy.” 

Ford can feel the smile tug at his lips. Dipper and Mabel are going to grow up one day, too, and he hopes he’ll be able to witness it. “Well, we were all children once.”

It’s like he’s taking a back seat to himself as he tells Dipper these stories from another life. If he thinks about Stan and what they’ve become, it hurts - even if it’s dulled into a detached ache over the years, the occasional wave comes, raw and fresh, and it’s sharp like a knife. If he thinks about Stanley, it still hurts - but the edges are softened by the miasma that nostalgia casts over everything, and that’s not quite as painful. At least back then, he knew some sort of happiness, and at least he can vaguely recall what it felt like. 

He can’t stop the chuckle that escapes him at the memory of Stan trying to convince their mother that the person who set off the whole school’s sprinklers and took off into the distance shouting ‘that’s how Stan Pines does it, suckers!’ was someone trying to frame him, and the way she’d absolutely eviscerated him in response. 

“...and that was the last time Stanley ever lied to our mom.” 

There’s no response from Dipper this time - no giggle, or eye-roll, or dry quip - and he looks down to see that the kid’s drifted off in his lap, head pillowed against Ford’s thigh as he breathes, slow and soft. 

Well. In fairness, that was pretty much what he came down here for. Objective achieved… more or less. 

Tentatively, he runs his hand over Dipper’s hair. It’s a complete bird’s nest - he obviously doesn’t brush it that often - but it’s thick and fluffy, just like David’s had been as a child. The heavy curtain of Mabel’s long tresses that had hit him in the face when she’d hugged him had been more or less the same. 

Twins run in the family, he’d written in the journal. It’s a comforting thought - if anything, knowing that they hopefully won’t turn out like him and Stan. 

He hadn’t wanted to throw it away - neither of them had, but Stan had no idea what he was dealing with, and if he had any inkling of just how dangerous the forces he was messing with were, most likely didn’t care. Irresponsible and knuckleheaded to a fault, from childhood to now - and honestly, probably to eternity. 

As a scientist, Ford is used to determining things by probability and likelihood. Each situation has a predetermined number of potential outcomes… but sometimes, something greater - fate, the universe - has a hand in things. And maybe this time, she’s granted Ford a second chance of sorts. There’s a second generation of Pines twins, and they might have the potential to be better than he and Stan ever were. 

“Alright, my boy,” he mutters to the one currently sleeping in his lap. “Let’s get you back into your own bed before Stan notices.”

#own writing #dipper pines #stanford pines #ford pines #gravity falls #gravity falls fanfiction

[danideservedbetter]

Alright so, here’s how things are gonna work.

First off, welcome to this side blog. Since it won’t be jolly fun fandom content and will be a little more personal I decided to separate my health and writing journey from my fandom stuff, although all my fandom content will still be linked on my main blog here.

(I write Izuocha/bnha content which isn’t super popular so if you’re not here for that then yeah, I don’t blame you. But if you are I have a link to our discord and community content pinned so def check it out if you’re interested.)

Secondly, you guys will hear details about stuff relating to my health like what kinds of things affect my disorder based on the tests some doctors are ordering, how I’m trying to improve my diet and activity, and routines and goals I’m attempting for myself. I am underweight, and that’s something I’m going to be talking a bit about, so if that’s triggering following this blog might not be the best thing for you. Details under the cut.

So, what kind of disorder do I have and why did I decide to make a health journey blog? My disorder is called idiopathic hypersomnia. Basically what that means is that when my disorder is acting up (based on factors like stress especially or my generalized anxiety rearing its ugly head) I have the capacity to sleep. And sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep. My longest recorded uninterrupted “sleep-attack” was 26 hours long and ever since I caught Covid in January, my body had been slowly growing weaker to the point I was starting to develop atrophy. I’ve had this ten years and my neurologist suspects inactive cells from mononucleosis I caught at 14 was the cause, because other IH patients have linked their sleeping problems to a case of mono or have had it at some point in their lives.

This disease stole many years and many things I’ve looked forward to from me. I lost friends and experiences and failed so many college classes I had to drop out.

I’ve decided I’m taking them back.

It’s not going to be easy. Just as it took ten years to convince myself that my tiredness was something I chose to give into, it took several extra years and many fights with my family to convince them that I had a real actual neurological disorder and that I need help sometimes. My parents and grandmother finally understand that I have to finish college and find a very special boss willing to work around my erratic progress on projects, but the outsiders they married are not as convinced. My grandmother’s husband kicked me out of their house because he wants to be the center of attention and doesn’t like that some days I’m so weak that I needed my grandmother’s help, and my father’s wife thinks I’m a lazy and ungrateful leech who “gets anxiety just being around” me. Both told my father I’ll never be happy so why even bother with me, but my dad is actually striving to understand his own recently-diagnosed PTSD so while we still butt heads he’s understanding that I have to take things day by day because every tiny circumstance affects my disorder.

Now, why did I decide to air all this out? Well, being open about my disorder and how it affects me has helped at least two people that I know of find out that the tiredness they experience isn’t the typical “American work force exhaustion” they were trained to believe is normal. So if I can help even one more, I’ll gladly talk about what this entails and how I deal with it day to day. Another reason is that I’m also one of those big advocates who believes talking candidly about mental health destigmatizes it and sharing ideas can help us grow as people and maybe make it a little easier to deal with.

So now that you know a little bit about me and my disorder, here are my big goals for the next three months provided my university takes pity on me and actually lets me go back.

First up: create routines to train my body to get used to living a full day fully awake. This includes waking up at the same time and going to sleep at the same time. It means getting dressed and going out and doing things, even little things— which I’ll get to in a sec.

Second: I write. I have a novel in limbo and I write fanfics. Writing is a big part of who I am and I’ve written one thing this year, which for a whole six-month stretch is upsetting and disappointing. Today is my reset. In the next 569 days I want to to finish the six stories I have in limbo (except the larger one) and finally reach my goal of posting 200k words in a single year. I wont be hard on myself if I can’t accomplish this because honestly finishing anything in the chaos of my life is going to be a miracle but. There ya go.

Third: go back to freakin college. I don’t care what it takes. Sit down with every official, every lawyer, and every professor it takes to get me back enrolled in classes in the fall.

Fourth: I have several smaller things I have to do, short term goals, stuff like that. I’m gonna create a to do list each day of small tasks I want to get done and while some of these things will be part of my daily routine I am throwing in like one or two things a day that just need to be done. My writing goal will change daily and I’ll keep y’all updated on that with every post I make.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Dani! That’s so much!! Well, a few months ago I remembered hey!! I basically have a computer in my hand, why make it hard on myself. So I downloaded certain apps to help me out. This isn’t me saying “hey go subscribe to these apps because I said so” it’s just that through a lot of trial and error I’ve come to find that these certain apps work for me and I’ve yet to come across one that has the functionality of everything I need.

Tiimo — so this is an app I found developed by people with autism for people with autism to help them develop good habits and routines. It has preset daily schedules (things like morning routines or nightly routines or work routines) and an internal alarm to let you know when to move on to the next task. I myself have extremely low-level aspergers (to the point where my doctor won’t give me an official diagnosis because I didn’t want people think that *it’s* the reason I have issues with school), so moving from task to task can be difficult sometimes and I also deal with getting distracted. This widget also appears on my home screen so I know what I have to do at a glance. You can program in weekly and daily tasks to fully customize your schedule, which is fantastic for someone like me who wants to for example rotate chores. This is hopefully going to help me get my body in the habit of adjusting to routines and transitioning from one task to another, as well as getting important things done responsibly.

Promptly Journals — I’ve been told for a while that journaling is helpful mentally to kind of recenter yourself, so a bit ago I downloaded several journal apps to add to my morning routine. Now some will prefer more creatively free journals, but I prefer this one that gives me small prompts I can do in a short amount of time that just allows me to get my thoughts down. I can even add pictures at the bottom that go with the theme! I’m scared I’ll run out of prompts eventually lol but until then this app works very well for my needs.

Stretchingexercise — Now idk if it’s from lack of sleep from my disorder, the position I sleep in when I do sleep, all the physical labor I’ve had to do in the past couple weeks, my medicine, or w h a t but I suffer from body aches like no one would believe. I know stretching is supposed to help with that, so I downloaded this app to help me do non-demanding physical activity that wakes me up in the mornings and helps relieve pain so I don’t keep having to take pain relievers. This one has different plans for things like muscle tension, back pain, warm ups— and it also gives you rudimentary weight updates (I’m underweight lololol so we’re looking to fix that) or plan updates. It’s worked really well for me so far and gives you animations and descriptions of the workouts (some taken from yoga) as well as timed breaks and a narrated guide. It’s been pretty helpful in temporary relief and if nothing else gets my blood flowing in the mornings.

Widgetsmith Step counter — in addition to the stretching thing one thing my doctor and I discussed that helps with the sedentary lifestyle is simply walking. I’ve needed so bad to relieve my stamina and reverse the atrophy, and walks have been stellar for that. Now I live in the New Orleans area so humidity and heat force me to go at the crack of Dawn, but honestly my weenie dachshund Charlie really enjoys our time out so he goes with me! The CDC recommends 10,000 steps a day which seems like a lot and it is if you don’t get out much. But this gives me an excuse to get dressed and do the hygienic thing and help Charlie be healthy too, as well as give me time for brainstorming because we walk in a truly beautiful area. I’m sure everyone installed widgetsmith with the last iOS update (Apple users anyway) and while at first the step counter was just interesting I’ve since come to rely on it! We do our 5000 in the morning, which of course is half, and I find that other things I do throughout the day typically drive the counter higher. Anything leftover can easily be accomplished by an evening walk in our neighborhood. Now the caveat is that I have to remote have my phone in my pocket because I don’t own a watch or anything fancy lol, but honestly I need to keep it on me anyway so that serves as a good reminder.

Todoist — this one is my FAVORITE. Ever since I’ve decided that I have trouble keeping track of things I need to do and small stuff I need to keep in mind and appointments, etc, I decided to find a list app. This is the one I found that absolutely helps me for everything from my list of room supplies I need to buy, to my reading list, to general tasks I have coming up I need to complete. And its widget functionality keeps it right on my Home Screen! More organized individuals can just use tiimo, but I’m definitely not one of those individuals so this app is sorely needed and appreciated.

And of course, I know building habits the first few weeks is HARD. So for days my body doesn’t respond to my alarms, I have a checklist of the key things I have to do to keep my life as functional as possible.

So that’s that on that. I’m going to try to keep writing updates and my daily goals in a post in the morning, and reblog what I accomplished in the evening. It’s gonna be tough. But I’m thinking if I can start small I’ll be able to build my stamina enough to return to college and be successful when I do. I hope that anyone watching this journey draws some kind of meaning or inspiration from it. And you guys can even follow along if y’all want! Especially for writers or people trying to get healthier. I can’t promise what works for me will work for you (and honestly I expect things to change especially if I get accepted into college again) but hey, I figure it’s worth a shot.

I hope you guys enjoy watching this journey, if nothing else I hope it’s entertaining. And maybe it’ll be successful. I do know that I’m just gonna try for it, and hope it works out.

First daily update to follow

Xoxo

Dani

#idiopathic hypersomnia #health and wellness #writing challenge

[sinfulwonders]

if ur still doing the quarantine ask meme, amaguuji pls!!

Amaguuji

Who adapts easily to working from home, and who’s climbing the walls?

Korekiyo easily adapts to working from home, doing research and such, while Rantaro is suffering. Like oh man, Rantaro loves to travel and now he can’t and he is just going stir crazy. Luckily he has Korekiyo to keep him grounded, but Rantaro also has to pick up a bunch of hobbies to keep his sanity. (Oh and he also starts watching the travel channel so much. Like too much.)

Who wants to take advantage of not having to stand apart when they go outside on a walk because they’ve been quarantined together anyway, and who’s so paranoid of getting yelled at by strangers (whether that scares or just irritates them) that they insist the pair of them still walk six feet apart?

Neither of them are too paranoid of what people will think. They’re both pretty comfortable walking right next to each other when they take walks.

Who gets really into cooking?

I’d like to think they both do! Rantaro starts it off, it’s one of his many many hobbies he’s decided to learn during this time, but Korekiyo gets super into it too, and it becomes a couples activity for them both to enjoy!

Who gets really into a TV show they’d never thought to watch before?

Like I said, Rantaro gets super into the Travel channel. Also planet earth. He just wants to go but self isolation is telling him to stay and it’s so frustrating. But yeah, Rantaro has never been a big television guy, but now he’s watching so much TV it’s unreal.

Who starts doing improbable musical performances on the balcony/fire escape/by the front window/in the backyard?

I wanna say Korekiyo. All this time indoors has given him time to practice a bunch of traditional instruments from various cultures around the world. He begins to practice them on his balcony. Rantaro gets into learning them as well, and soon they’re basically putting on concerts for the neighbors.

Who gets the idea that now’s a great or at least practical time to get a buzzcut, and does the other try to talk them out of it, sigh “it’s your hair” and relinquish all responsibility, or offer to help so it’s even?

Rantaro gets especially antsy when his hair starts to get really long, so that’s when he has the idea that now is the time to just shave it all off. Korekiyo strongly vetos this idea, and instead offers to cut his hair so it’s even and not a total disaster. (Korekiyo can’t help it, Rantaro’s hair is just too soft to just shave off completely!)

Who starts keeping a journal and calling it their apocalypse log?

Korekiyo. And there is no humor or irony involved, it’s a 100% serious account of 2020: the beginning of the end of the human race. 

Who makes sure they can video chat with everyone else in their lives and who is baffled by technology?

Rantaro definitely takes care of all of the technology stuff, because Korekiyo is utterly baffled by it. Rantaro video chats with his friends all the time, and often time brings Korekiyo in so he can chat, too! Korekiyo isn’t the best with people, so he doesn’t have all that many friends, but Rantaro is helping him become more sociable one day at a time! Korekiyo sometimes even chats with a couple of his friends on his own now! (Rantaro definitely has to set up the video chat for him though!)

Who gets into social media arguments reminding strangers to self-isolate?

I could definitely see Korekiyo arguing with strangers online, because he doesn’t understand trolling. :P

Who starts making weird videos two days in?

I could see the two of them making a goofy ass youtube channel together. Maybe an informational channel about different cultures around the world with Korekiyo focusing on the history and Rantaro focusing on the present day? Or just a funny channel of them being dorks and ranting about different topics together. :P

Whose sleep schedule goes totally off the rails?

They both have crazy sleep schedules, because Rantaro is constantly traveling and Korekiyo is Korekiyo. So neither of them is too thrown off by isolation. That being said, Rantaro is thrown off by being inside so much, and has to go outside a lot just to see the sun.

If they’re in a relationship, do they start sleeping together more often?

Yeah! Rantaro is not travelling during this time, and Korekiyo isn’t busy at his job at the museum because it’s closed, so they both are around each other more than usual. So it’s super nice for their sex lives.

#quarantine ask meme #amaguji #amaguuji #korekiyo shinguji #rantaro amami #korekiyo shinguuji #rantarou amami #danganronpa #ask meme #ship meme #inbox cleanup

[jazzstudied]

5 Study Album Recommendations

     The term “album” is used loosely here as I have included EP’s as well! I have been listening to full length albums and EP’s during study sessions for as long as I could remember so I decided to share some of that with you! 

     This post may be the first of many seeing as I was in a great amount of pain of only choosing five. You may have stumbled upon these albums before (and for that, I commend your music taste) or have not (to which I hope to be the bringer of enlightenment to you) and regardless of taste, I hope you give these wonderful albums a listen. 

     There is no particular order of favoritism but I did rank them according to amount of focus. For example, number 5 is recommended for tasks that require less brain activity due to ultimate ‘jamming beats’ (making flashcards or re-writing notes) compared to the number 1 album which has more of a calm demeanor so can be used during focused activities (typing up research, brainstorming, reviewing notes). 

5. Don’t Forget Me, Demos - Dominic Fike (2018) (8 Songs, 17 min.)

Lo-fi, gentle, low key banging hip hop vibes.

I can feel my stress literally melt away when I listen to this EP. An easy listen, and ultimately very enjoyable. 

The reason why it’s on number 5 is because it is too much of a banger and I get distracted. Honestly though, that is a me problem. I usually listen to this album during my break (sends good vibes my way for 17 minutes) or when I am doing a repetitive/ less focused task such as making flashcards or re-writing notes.

Around 17 minutes, which is ample time for most tasks that don’t require that much focus.

3 Nights and Babydoll are my absolute favorites in this EP. 

Looking at the stars while listening to this album is magical. I used it a lot for pulling all-nighters. 

4. Super Clean Vol. I and Super Clean Vol. II - The Marias (2017) (14 Songs, 38 min.)

Yes, I have included both Vol. I and Vol. II at number 4, technically two very separate EPs, and no, there is nothing you can do about it!

Overall, a mellow flirt of an album. 

It’s groovy but not a distracting type of groovy. It’s a just right amount of chair wiggling for a study session. 

Perfect for a 30 minute study session and an 8 minute dance break. 

I can imagine strolling through fields in a cute little dress but at the same time write in my journal during a hot afternoon haze with both of these EPs and I love it.

Basta Ya, Ruthless, and I Don’t Know You are my recs concerning these EPs! 

But all songs are good! Just listen to all of it! 

3. The Slow Rush - Tame Impala (2020) (12 Songs, 57 min.) 

Hypnotic album with electronic beats. Makes me feel like I belong in the future and the future is now. 

I felt conflicted putting it at number 3 or number 5 because some people might not like it? But I like this album a lot. 

It has a certain grooviness to it and I’m sure some people might find it distracting during study sessions. However, I find this album quite balanced with real bops and real study flow inducers!

It is less distracting that the videos titled “Brain Waves for Brain Power” videos on Youtube, in my own personal opinion. I hope I didn’t offend anyone on Tumblr belonging to that niche. I too, still have a back-up playlist of Brain Waves to induce my brain cells in ceremonial dances exclusively for midterms and finals. 

This album helped me a lot in getting into the flow of things. I hope it does the same for you!

Lost in Yesterday and Posthumous Forgiveness are the tracks I repeat over and over again from this album.

2. Relaxer - Alt-J (2017) (8 Songs, 39 min.)

Again, another well-balanced album

This album is an abomination of grunge, post rock, and alternative music. Somehow, it works even though most people stick to lo-fi when studying.

The tracks Adeline and Pleaser honestly makes me lose track of time as both songs are about 6 min. long each. 

Hit Me LIke That Snare and Deadcrush are bops that have that expected signature “Alt-J” sound. Probably too loud for some people, ok for a loud person like me.  It has similarities to the An Awesome Wave album, which is, by the way, needs a listen if you have never heard of this band before. 

1. Carrie and Lowell - Sufjan Stevens (2015) (11 Songs, 43 min.)

Now this! This album! Throughout my high school years, this album has helped me a lot! From getting up at 5:30 a.m, stressing about school, up until I am wide awake at night worrying about my grades- this indie, cottage-core, guitar plucking album has helped me through it all. 

The vocals of Sufjan Stevens are so soft, vulnerable in this album. 

Despite being so catchy- I can sing Death with Dignity in my sleep- it still serves as the superior study album. 

For those in light and dark academia, cottage-core, vintage-core or of any other similar aesthetic (actually anybody can still thoroughly enjoy this album) this is such a worth while listen. 

It makes me feel like I’m at the countryside tending to my plants and my humble home or writing letters to my friends who live in the city. Perfect for a productive ambiance. 

Drawn to the Blood, Blue Bucket of Gold, and Fourth of July are my personal favorites.

Compared to the other albums listed today, even though I said I wouldn’t rank by favoritism, I rank this as my favorite. Good for all types of tasks and can last 40 minutes for your work!

#study #study motivation #studyblr #studying #studyspo #study session #study sesh #music #music recommendation #music recs #med school #vet student #vet med #university #uniblr #light academia #light acadamia aesthetic #dark acadamia #dark acadamia aesthetic #grunge #alt rock #album rec