#not sure why tumblr kept not letting me edit my original post to include the link | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

permets-2 · 4 years

Note

Your tag that says why do we have to say this, I get it's a hypothetical question but JFC this is the most racist fandom I've ever been in. I can't conceptualize why, but it is. It's the epitome of white queerness and feminism, and is just tiring.

Okay I’m so sorry this is probably a longer response than you wanted but I’ve been thinking about this for a while now and yeah. Let’s talk.

Why is the Les Mis fandom so racist?

(Disclaimer that this is based on my own experiences in this fandom, I don’t speak for all Les Mis fans of color, obviously. Also that this is not a post to “prove” the Les Mis fandom is racist. If you need that before you wanna know why, you’re part of the problem.) (There’s a tl;dr at the end)

It’s because at the end of the day, anon, no matter how many Black Grantaires are drawn and no matter how many Asian Cosettes we get, Les Mis is media primarily by, for, and about white people. I mean, on a factual level, Hugo was white, and let’s not forget he had some wild thoughts on race - saying that white people were “the highest type which the human race has so far reached” and talking about the “inferior races,” saying that Europeans would “civilize and cultivate” Africa in the letter he wrote to The London News regarding slavery in America and John Brown. Also, obviously, all the characters are canonically white. That’s part of why content of the Amis as involved in BLM protests is so harmful imo - no matter the surface story you’re depicting, no matter how you draw them or write them, these are characters who are rooted in and steeped in whiteness, and The Black Lives Matter movement is not for or about them as white people. And, however you rewrite this story, it doesn't change the fact that you'd be imposing a narrative created by a white supremacist on a movement against white supremacy. This is not to say headcanoning/drawing/writing characters as whatever race you want is wrong, or that there isn’t power in artists of color reclaiming stories that have excluded or erased us for so many years! Lord knows I live and breathe for Amis of color, especially when they’re culturally well-represented. But it would not only be naive but also factually inaccurate to pretend that Les Mis is a story for People of Color, or a story that contains acute discussions of racial dynamics, let alone actively dismantles white supremacy.

Also, anon, the culture surrounding Les Mis source material is steeped in whiteness and exclusion. Musical Theatre is one of the most financially exclusive forms of art - tickets are often upwards of $100 each especially for a big name show like Les Mis. I could talk forever about the ways theatre is used as a tool of classism and racism, but in this instance, it boils down to People of Color are directly and indirectly denied access to the world of musical theatre, as audience, writers, directors, performers, etc. We basically see only white people playing the characters of Les Mis in professional (and non-professional) theatre, which is another less tangible barrier to communities of color. You’d think the brick would be more accessible, and on a factual level, sure, most people can find a copy for $9 at Barnes and Noble or get it from the library. But by God, the amount of academic elitism in high school essays to tumblr posts about the brick is off the charts - classic lit has a long history of pushing out People of Color. Why is Hugo one of the most well-known names in all of literature and not Hurston? Baldwin? Du Bois? (This is rhetorical. We know why.) There’s a lot of reasons why the brick and musical alike have been kept away from people of color (that i could get into, starting in 1619, but honestly we’d be here a while)- making this, once again, a piece of media by, for, and about white people.

Which is not to say there aren’t people of color in this fandom, or that we don’t belong here. I know so many Les Mis fans of color in our online community (myself included) who love it here and are so grateful for this space. It’s just harder - we have to write things off all the time. Why is almost 100% of cosplay white people? Why are most all the most popular creators white? Why, when characters are drawn/headcanoned/written as POC, does it play into stereotypes- why are Joly and Combeferre (the doctors) and Cosette (the woman who does not get much agency) the ones depicted as Asian, why are Eponine and Grantaire (the characters who Hugo explicitly calls ugly) the ones depicted as Black? (My broski @everydayatleast as a great post about that here) Why are we so set on blond Enjolras, no matter what ethnicity he’s depicted as?

And here’s the kicker: because of the plotline of Les Mis, we tend to ignore any issues of injustice in our own fandom. We think that because Les Mis is about equality and revolution, we’re automatically culturally and politically progressive. We think that because “Enjolras says Eat The Rich” and “books like these will never be useless”, we have achieved Wokeness. We think that when we stan these activist characters, we’re checking our activism box. We think that because we’ve got a diversity of genders and sexualities we’ve checked the box of representation but that’s another can of worms I will not get into. And this is almost always unconscious, I don’t think any of us are actively and maliciously trying to be racist! There is nothing wrong with having a background of whiteness! There is nothing wrong with being factually or culturally white as a piece of media (or, like, a person)! It is when we fail to be critical of the ways this whiteness affects others that we create racist spaces. (Which, as you said, anon, is how we get White/Non-intersectional Feminism.)

This is not directed at anyone in particular in the slightest, and this is in no way intended as a callout - I have so much love for this online community. And no, I don’t mean every single one of you is actively and aggressively being racist on Tumblr every single day. But yes I do mean the collective us as a fandom contributes towards a culture of racism every day, myself included. We as a fandom can do so much better. As Moose said when we yelled about LM racism for a hawt couple hours today, “In a fandom that purports to be about equality and social justice, we have to live up to our own ideals”.

(tl;dr - the Les Mis fandom is racist because it is a piece of white culture and writen by/for/about white people, Broadway and classic lit is rooted in exclusionism and there’s a lot of forces keeping people of color out of our original source materials, and because of the narrative of Les Mis being about revolution and social progress, we feel like we’ve achieved that and aren’t critical of our own shortcomings)

(phat thanks to my bro moose @everydayatleast for editing and contributing and Yelling with me!!)

#Les miserables #les mis #les amis #fandom racism #sollie speaks #if you feel hurt offended ashamed bitter guilty targeted while reading this post #maybe its time to do some thinkin #Things i did not include in this bc i have self control: the complexities of Black Javert and White Valjean #White Enjolras with a raised fist (aka BLACK POWER FIST?)#how i see almost no art of latinx/hispanic amis and even less indigenous amis #i think once i saw a middle eastern feuilly #how i looked through the faculty of prestigious univerisity classics departments and found 2 people of color out of hundreds of total facult #white people dont clown on this post challenge #other people of color would Love to hear your thoughts on this #seriously lets chat #would also love if yall (poc) have thoughts for you to message me instead of publically vibe checking me #plz im doing my best here #A series of disclaimers #first op is a person of color if that wasnt clear #listen to black creators and black voices especially for issues around BLM #second i have not read all of hugos letters #but i read this one on slavery a while back for apush and it stuck with me #hugo was racist #and im not saying like hes cancelled or some shit #because fuck cancel culture #just please can we be CRITICAL here #third PLEASE dont come for me about saying cosette has no agency #this is not what this is about #you are missing the point #fourth seriously this is not a callout

843 notes · View notes

afoolandathief · 2 years

Text

Writing bucket list

Tagged by @drippingmoon for this one!

Rules: list WIPs you would like to finish in your lifetime; optionally, reasons that are holding you off them and how far you want to get them (published vs posted, etc.)

I'm going to leave Something Wicked off this since I am actively working on it (trying, at least), as well as Those Horrid, Horrid Things, which I took a break from but am working on again.

Yonder/Untitled giants WIP: So about six months ago my brain spat out a concept involving giants, witches and floating cities, and then I just sort of kept expanding on it.

The concept: A giant thinks he's stumbled into a fairy tale when he finds a princess locked in a tower. But Thera, a witch seeking revenge, is no princess. And a journey to the giants' city in the sky reveals it's no utopia.

Why I'm holding off: I told myself I would outline this story first before writing the first draft, but then I went and wrote the first chapter anyway (part 1 and part 2). Because Logi Leifsen is baby.

How far I want to get: I'd like to eventually finish the first draft, at least. I'm not sure about publishing, just given that I'm not certain how many would be interested in this concept.

Lilly and the Demons/Sinblings: Back in like February I took a writing prompt about a demon stealing adopting a baby and wrote a short story. But the story's cliffhanger and just how endeared I became to the characters left me wanting to write a sequel.

The concept: Lilly has never had the most traditional family. But they've had a good life being raised by seven demonic siblings embodying the cardinal sins. But they take off after an angel reveals some truths about Lilly's past and future, and the sinblings have to travel to Hell and back to find their kid.

Why I'm holding off: I mean, just lack of time to do it, I guess. Also, sequels are never as good as the original, right?

How far I want to get: I'd just like to publish this as a short story on Tumblr, let anyone who liked the original story see what happened to Lilly and the sinblings.

Untitled Fae WIP: When I was in high school, I wrote several short passages about different Fae creatures ( a púca, a dragon, and a sprite) with the idea of introducing these characters in a story I never wrote.

The concept: An aimless 17-year-old in Upstate New York decides to trade places with a Fae prince, only to discover this now means they are on a quest with some other magical folk to slay a dragon in northern New Jersey.

Why I'm holding off: Pfft, I don't know, man. I stopped writing anything for a while after high school. Now it just comes down to deciding to start it when I have so much other stuff going on.

How far I want to get: I guess I'd put it on the same status as Something Wicked (like, if I ever wrote it, I'd like to see it published, but I don't want to jinx myself).

The Witch of Ironwood: Technically something I was actively working on until recently. It was intended to be backstory for "Those Horrid, Horrid Things," but the tone was far too different to be included. I posted the first ~500 words here, if interested.

The concept: Basically, how Angrboda met the Norse trickster god Loki before they were a god. It's self-indulgent, strange and squicky and meant only for my eyes.

Why I'm holding off: I generally work on this when I don't feel inspired to work on anything else. It's enjoyable to write and there are no consequences to what I write in it, so it helps get me re-inspired to work on other projects.

How far I want to get: I'd like to eventually finish what will likely be the length of a short novella, look it over and edit it slightly, and then keep it in my Google drive to look at whenever I want. No one else gets to read it.

A couple other concepts I'm going to quickly list:

The Friendly Visitors: More vampires are gangsters concept. Everyone has an animal code name and exhibits related traits and they are trafficking blood and booze in the 1920s. Need to retool some elements and actually build more of a plot, but I did write a first chapter, as I do.

Untitled Greek myth WIP/The Nine: A team of monsters from Greek mythology are tasked with kidnapping the nine muses but discover they are very young deities who are very annoying. An early concept exists with just Medusa and Charybdis but if I ever return to it I want to add more monsters and Icarus.

Untitled zombie-seeking-revenge-on-her-murderer story: If I ever decide to expand on this short story.

Open tag on this one, but also, if you'd like, tagging @artbyeloquent, @faelanvance, and @author-a-holmes.

#tag game #writing bucket list #my wips #writeblr #yonder #the friendly visitors #sinblings

7 notes · View notes

indig0g0 · 3 years

Note

If you are so against theft, why you friends with gabriel tho? There has been HOW MUCH evidence against him? I don't know, Newt. Seems Pretty Sus To Me. SEEMS LIKE YOU ARE TRYING TO TAKE THE HEAT OFF THE CURRENT SHIT AGAINST GABE I'M JUST SAYING-

Hi kids, first of all! His name is GABRIEL! Calling him not his name, when he doesn’t like it! Is just like misgendering! Anyway! Lets sit down for this! I was waiting for you (or maybe it was someone else!) to come back for this!

Did you know that its possible, as an adult human being, to disagree with everyone in a situation? Did you also know.... That there’s a difference.... Between using the same concepts? And OUTRIGHT TRACING SOMEONE’S ART? Did you know...... That there was more to the story... than bo’s callout post made it out to be? Did you know there was a third whole design in the mix?

Also before we get started I want to state that as a 25 year old man, who has been in multiple different art communities. You cannot steal a concept. You cannot steal a concept. YOU CANNOT STEAL A CONCEPT. There are 800 trolls with white porcelain masks! There are 800 trans masc jadeblood trolls! These are all concepts! Iridescence as a concept! Is a CONCEPT.

Opalescence is a concept that is similar but different to iridescence.

ANYWAY!!!

LETS SIT DOWN FOR THE WHOLE STORY BECAUSE BOY HAVE I HAD ENOUGH OF BEING ASKED WHERE I STAND ON THIS!

Okay! So! Here’s the thing (the thing! Which I got from someone who WASN’T either Bo or Gabriel! Surprise! There’s AN OUTSIDE PARTY!)

Bo made an iridescent adopt! Gabriel wanted the adopt! But Liam bought the adopt first! Whatever! That’s the end of it of whatever that is! Bo and Gabriel stopped being friends in this time, i think, but that’s not my fucking business because i’m 25 years old and other people’s interpersonal problems aren’t my fucking business!!

Its reasonable here, then, to like the concept behind a design right? And you you probably think “oh this is where gabriel ripped off cosmit, right?” and you’d be wrong!

We’re going to cut to my favorite third party, a loving friend and wonderful person... Echo! Who makes adopts! As a source of income!

Who was like! Hey party people! Suggest themes for me to use in my next batch! of adopts! and now you think... oh... here comes opal.. WRONG AGAIN!

So what happened was... gabriel had been like “i saw this cool iridescent design, and the concept was really cool! maybe you should do an opalescent design!” and echo was like oh fuck yeah i’d love to do that! and so.... they did. Now i’m sure you’re thinking..... Oh it’s Opal!

Except. Actually it wasn’t.

The opalescent (NOT iridescent, they aren’t the same if you were wondering!) troll Echo original made? One of the ones that bo linked in their call out? Isnt opal.

It’s the original opalescent design that echo made! Which they.. Kept! That’s their Magiro!

This is magiro on the end! This is the original design!

this image? the girl on the bottom? THATS FUCKING MAGIRO. THAT IS ART. FROM ECHO’S BLOG. OF ECHO’S CHARACTER.

which looks..... NOTHING like...

this absurdly small screenshot i also pilfered from bo’s callout post! Of cosmit!

Who’s sprites I will not post out of respect for Liam because I have not asked him if I can use it! But the original is necessary so it’s here anyway. (I have permission from Echo to post the originals here! FYI!)

Now because they ended up keeping Magiro! They said! I’ll make you one for free with the same general concept! And lo!

Opal was born! This was the design that Echo did for gabriel! This is opal! As you can see... She looks nothing like cosmit! Except for the fact that she has

dark skin is meant to be black coded and has a similar theme. she even has a nose rings You can see it under her glasses!

and so these are the sprites Gabriel made based off the design ECHO made him

‘

Now! Here’s where it gets hinky!

Here’s where I don’t agree with either party!

Bo and Liam were upset that Gabriel (and Gabriel alone) apparently ripped off Opal! I don’t see it, and I don’t think you can steal a concept either! But whatever theyre adults they can make their own conclusions!

Now where I don’t agree with Gabriel is... Gabriel started making posts (after being told he was accused the first time, idk by who) about Opal being the BEST opalescent troll in the community! Which is fucked up! It’s immature and I was upset with him for it! And then it spiralled a little!

Gabriel got a call out blog made about him for reasons OTHER than opal! The callout blog tried to bring up opal! Liam made a public statement that he and gabriel were handling it privately! And I thought that was going to be that on that!

or was it!

So in private, and bo’s “call out” will confirm this, the whole party eventually agreed that Gabriel would be making edits to opal to make her theme different instead of white opalescent blah blah, this all is NOT my business and frankly I don’t fucking care.

My problem comes in when it become not enough for bo that Gabriel to make changes to or stop using Opal altogether and started... Boxing gabriel into a new solution? Because Gabriel apparently wasn’t bending over backwards enough? I don’t fucking know! It’s not my fucking business! DURING a time of crisis. DURING. BO DID THIS WHEN GABRIEL WAS ALREADY IN A POSITION TO HAVE A HARD TIME SAYING NO. THIS IS FUCKED UP NO? But! I don’t know how you can post screenshots of you saying “You’re having a bad time because of this tropical storm about to rock your shit and I hate you and want you to go away Take this Hilariously Low sum of money for a character with tons of art and effort” and then think you’re like. In the right here? Bo admits they were stupid angry and that they cancelled the deal on a whim IN Their call out post! And then turned around, in their anger, and started threatening gabriel ! That’s literally blackmailing him! Because he wasn’t doing what they wanted! it’s all literally in the post! I read the whole thing! Gabriel came back with a counter, which was getting rid of Opal altogether including making the replacement in the story NOT black coded, NOT a woman (explicitly stated to be transmasc for the new concept), No piercings etc.

Bo then, later AGAIN during a time of Financial and real life crisis (their confrontation was sent within HOURS of the announcement of another hurricane about to rock houston) decided to turn around and verbally berate Gabriel about how he failed to deliver his apology, turned around, and tried to post a largely evidence-less call out about him.

The reason for Bo doing this?

Gabriel reblogged female-coded aesthetic into the tag. And that was all the proof Bo needed that GABRIEL IS A LIAR BLAH BLAH

heres the thing.

gabriel and i are in a different artist’s server together.

Gabriel has posted the wip of the new design into the server. I’ve seen it. with my own two fucking eyes.

in fact. the new design. BARELY EVEN LOOKS LIKE A FUCKING TROLL AT ALL

IT LOOKS NOTHING LIKE COSMIT

IT DOESNT EVEN FUCKING LOOK LIKE OPAL

BO WENT OFF THE RAILS

FOR LITERALLY NO FUCKING REASON

AND NOW A BUNCH OF 17 YEAR OLDS ON TUMBLR

ARE TRYING TO RUIN NOT ONLY HIS LIVELIHOODS, BUT ALSO EVERYONE AROUND HIM

OVER A DESIGN THAT WAS 3 CONCEPTS REMOVED FROM THE ORIGINAL

ANYWAY TLDR: they both handled this extremely poorly! I do NOT agree with Gabriel’s handling of Bo’s and Liam’s initial concerns! But I SUPER don’t agree with “i own blackcoded opalescent characters as a concept bc i said so” and but mostly?

I really disagree with bo’s attempts to use the crisis of a TROPICAL STORM to solicit the response THEY ALONE wanted.

THIS is why I have bo blocked. I could give a shit LESS about all the other bullshit. Do I like it? No. It is my business? no.

But the sheer fucking LACK OF EMPATHY displayed here is FUCKING ASTOUNDING.

Theres actually OTHER reasons I don’t like bo, which are all 100% unrelated to all this fucking horse shit! But that’s my fucking business!! anyway!! fuck off!!

#newtnewt #read this if you want #i've been effectively blacklisted from the community since that one toddler called gabriel out in april anyway so what do i really have to l #drama #i fucking GUESS #Anonymous

29 notes · View notes

freckled-words · 3 years

Text

Count The Teeth - Part Eleven

I am just. I don’t even know? I swear I remember posting this final chapter last year with the whole series, I swear I did, but as far as my tumblr account can tell, it doesn’t exist.....I hate tumblr sometimes, I really do. So if this is already in existence, then let’s just roll with this being an odd duplicate.

I’m not going to post all the prior links here, as I’m setting up another post that will have EVERYTHING on it, including the original one shot ‘Smoke and Blood.’

I can’t even remember if this was edited. Regardless, enjoy this random end chapter XD

It had been the oddest thing when you left NateMare licking his wounds.

You’d gone to the driveway and found a taxi waiting for you. The driver said the fare had been taken care of and he was to take you wherever you wanted. When you asked him who had covered the tab, he said a well spoken gentleman had done so.

Seeing your disheveled appearance in pajamas, the taxi driver became curious as to why you were there.

You went with an elaborate story. It was your birthday, and your asshole brother had kidnapped you and brought you here for a spooky adventure. You’d gotten fed up with his childish antics and had decided to leave. You added that it was likely your brother’s friend that had paid the taxi driver.

When you got home, you took a long, luxurious, hot shower and collapsed into bed. Your exhaustion was deeper than you’d thought, leading you to sleeping for a straight 12 hours.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

4 months later…

It had taken him a month, but Mercer had kept his word. He’d found each of his victims that had been put into a coma, and brought them out of it. When questioned about what had happened to send them into the coma, they all had the same story. They’d been out at night, and they came across a man looking for directions. After they sent him on his way, they’d become dizzy and passed out.

Authorities believed that the victims had been distracted by the man asking for directions, then jumped by a second person that knocked them out and then drained them for blood. Reddit was running rampant with theories about a team collecting blood for the black market.

You supposed it was better than them getting freaked out about a rampaging vampire. The last thing the city needed were civilians taking up guns, pitch forks, torches, and stakes to go after people that were innocent.

In the following months, you remained on alert. NateMare’s promise of retribution had left a fairly strong impression. Armed with the knowledge of something to use against him, you’d set up a collection of weapons throughout the apartment.

In the kitchen, you had a bucket of blessed water by the sink. In the living room, you had a Super Soaker loaded with the stuff and in your bedroom, you had a spray bottle at the ready. You knew it would annoy and delay him at best, but at least it was better than just standing around and letting him curse you again.

You were so intent on watching for hints of a smoke cloud, you didn’t think to watch for any bats.

Which was how Mercer caught you off guard.

You’d spent the day out with one of your friends, and had lost track of time. It was dark when you made the walk home. The night was overcast and the wind was much colder as winter was settling in.

Despite your thick jacket, you still felt the chill. Your hands were stuffed into your pockets and your shoulders were hunched up to your ears. Your attention darted between the people walking towards you on the sidewalk and the people that were walking parallel to you across the street. Leaving no room to focus on your surroundings behind you.

An arm went around your shoulders, pulling you in against a tall frame. Startled you made a noise that was barely a word and some kind of squeak.

A familiar voice chuckled, making the hair on the back of your neck stand on end. You didn’t dare look up, not wanting to get caught by his eyes.

“What are you doing here Mercer?”

Mercer’s arm squeezed a little tighter, guiding you forward to keep walking.

He was greatly enjoying himself. You could tell from his voice as he replied, “Well hello to you too. Can’t a friend just come around for a visit now and then?”

“We’re not friends.”

“Oh, you wound me.” He lamented, without an ounce of actual dismay.

“Did you come here to get some payback for soaking you?” It was the first thing that came to mind, and you were kicking yourself for not bringing your tiny spray bottle with you when leaving earlier.

You caught sight of Mercer’s hand as he waved that thought off, “Not at all. I’ve gotten over that little trifle. As I said, I’m just here on a friendly visit.”

“At what point between you and NateMare trying to kill each other, did you and I become friends?” You could see your apartment building up ahead, and at this point, you were just utterly perplexed as to what was happening with Mercer right now.

He ignored your question, “I had some time to think while I went from hospital to hospital, and I’ve come up with a fun idea. One that I’m sure you’ll see the benefits of.”

You knew it was stupid, you could hear yourself calling it stupid, but when you both stopped in front of your building, you looked up.

The bugger was genuinely amused, smiling brightly and in all innocence. There was no glow to his eyes and you didn’t feel any part of you go numb. He was playing nice. For now.

You shrugged off his arm and moved around to stand in front of him, “And what idea is this?”

“Well, as we’re both aware, my dear, baby brother is all in a huff about you letting me go. The set of lungs on that boy, I swear. My ears were throbbing for an hour after his hollering.”

You winced, but you weren’t surprised Mercer had caught that.

“I was thinking to myself about how much trouble you and he were, going around and messing about in my handiwork. Good job on digging up the family history by the way. Anyways, I thought I should probably keep tabs on my brother, make sure he doesn’t come barging in on me at some point unexpectedly. The only problem is that I’m terrible at tracking idiots.”

You shuffled on the spot, getting colder by the minute. Mercer was clearly intent on dragging this out, and you doubted he’d just let you walk away. But you had no intention of inviting him inside.

“So I came to the only logical conclusion: You! I knew he was bound to come knocking on your door at some point and figured I’d keep watch. I tell you, watching a mortal for a month is boring. Which is why we’re having this chat. Much more engaging than just hovering about bored out of my mind.”

Your blood pressure rose at his declaration of stalking you for the past month. You thought you’d felt eyes on you, and it made you twice as jumpy. Knowing it was this nuisance didn’t make you feel any easier.

Processing everything he was saying all together, you just about threw your hands up.

It was the same damned position you’d been in 5 months before, only now it was reversed!

“Clearly you two are related.” You grouched stomping your feet. The cold was seeping through your boots and socks, making your feet ache.

“I am not helping you find NateMare. You are not hanging around here to wait for him to show up! And I’m not getting involved with either of you again!” You didn’t care if the neighbors heard, for all they’d understand, it sounded like a romantic issue.

You spun on your heel and stomped up to your apartment door.

Just as you put the key into the lock, a decent sized bat flew around you and clung onto your chest. You looked back over your shoulder and saw no sign of Mercer. Glaring down at the bat, you hissed, “You are not coming inside, let go and go away.”

The bat merely wiggled its ears, and much to your chagrin, he nuzzled against your coat. Even worse, it was adorable.

You heard people, more tenants that belonged to your building, coming up behind you.

Suppressing a frustrated scream you unlocked the door, and kept your body turned away from the approaching people.

You wrapped your arms around yourself, concealing Mercer as best you could, and made a beeline for the staircase.

Huffing up the stairs you swore at him, “You’re in so much trouble. I have a bucket filled with holy water in my kitchen and it has your name all over it buddy.”

The impudent bastard gave a tiny squeak. One that conveyed no distress in the slightest.

A glance down and there was no mistaking a smug smile, even on a bat.

You didn’t stop until you were inside your apartment, at which time you were breathless and sweaty under your coat.

“You make one damn comment about me being out of shape, and I will seriously drown you.”

“I’d very much like to see you try.”

You’d been locking your door, putting your back to the living room.

It hadn’t been Mercer that had replied.

Stiffly, you hit the light switch next to the door frame and peeked over your shoulder.

NateMare lounged back on your couch. His body was relaxed, but his expression was one that read murder.

The sound of dripping drew your eye to the kitchen. Your bucket of holy water was on the floor, along with a puddle of water and some that was dripping off the sink's cabinet doors.

“NateMare-”

“Shut it.”

He got to his feet and stalked towards you, “You should consider yourself very lucky. Had I gone after you that same day, I would have happily ripped your esophagus out of your throat.”

You swallowed thickly.

“But I took some time to calm down, recover, and think about it. I changed my mind.”

He stepped closer, leaving two steps of distance between you, “I’ve come to realize that I enjoy having a minion doing my bidding. Unlike some other… people… I could name, I don’t have a host popping out brothers every damn holiday. Plus, you’re already semi-trained.”

He smirked and held up a hand. Smoke gathered in his palm, and formed a thick section of chains.

“Hell. To. The. No.”

You’d done this song and dance and you were not doing it again.

Turning to face him, you pried Mercer from your chest and shoved him into NateMare, “Here, talk to your brother. Take it outside!”

Stunned, NateMare had dropped the smoke chain and grabbed Mercer on reflex.

Unprepared, Mercer didn’t have a chance to resist being shoved into NateMare’s hands.

The two stayed frozen and dumbstruck to the spot while you threw off your coat and went to get your mop and bucket.

There was another second of silence until you heard, “WHAT THE FUCK?!”

There was enraged squeaking, a bit of scuffling, the sound of a grunt, and then silence.

When you returned to the kitchen, you found the two were gone, and your balcony door wide open.

You were in the clear. For now.

#I'm honestly so proud of this #Mercer Battle #NateMare Battle #NateMare #Reader insert #I hate tumblr #deleting my shit #fanfiction #Count The Teeth #Part 11 #natewantstobattle

5 notes · View notes

chrisemrysfics · 3 years

Text

Hello!

I have updated my About and Fics pages, to reflect the changes I want to make!

In the past few weeks, I have been taking notice that I’ve been forcing myself to keep active a lot of things I just... don’t really feel anymore. A few months ago, I already decided to stop roleplaying, and closed my roleplay blogs.

More recently, I already started being less active on Tumblr, and on that side, I’m still going to not be active all that much. I am likely to still reblog from times to times on my personal side blog, and make little posts here if I really want to share a meta or thoughts or a fun thing. Plus, it is still a good place to receive messages, as AO3 doesn’t have private messaging. It does have comments, but I feel some people might prefer a message here rather than a comment, depending what they want to ask or say.

I might not really post anymore about updates on my fics, or they’ll be quick posts. For new fics, it might be quick posts too, or proper posts as I was doing.

All in all, in term of social medias, I’m using my twitter solely to retweet arts, my personal tumblr sideblog is for occasional reblogs, this fic blog is just to have a way to make meta/hc posts if I want to and share when I update/make new fics if I want to. I have a pillowfort, but I kept forgetting it, or not feeling like making posts on it, so its pretty much sleeping for now, and might just, get some posts to promote my own content, and maybe be poked sometimes to like other people content.

The reason for that is again, that I realized I just don’t really feel social medias anymore, and there are very, very few reasons that makes me keep them. And none of them need demand activity out of me, or its very small activity. Which is something that works out for me, because the other thing I realized is that I was just... having too much on my hands.

This is why soon, I will be putting all my WIP in hiatus, and very few ones will be fully stopped. The only exception will be Shadows Symphonie, and the upcoming No one else but you, multi chap version.

Some will eventually be updated, I’m only taking a break for Meet me Halfway to the End and Assassin’s Light, and then all the others on hiatus are a mixed bag on how likely I feel I will update them, but their common line is that I will look to write them more than halfway or write them fully, before I start updating them again.

The ones that will be closed, due to various reasons that more or less are about it would demand too much out of me and I need to put my energy elsewhere first are: Different yet alike, Hellish Chronicles, Broken Chain, Fated Chain, Freedom of Love, Future we choose, Rise of the Walker.

EDIT: the two crossed out ones are going to be indefinite hiatus rather than full out closed, deciding for these was hard, when I wrote this post I had tentatively decided to close them, but in the end I could eventually see myself write for them, so indefinite hiatus it is!

However, do note all WIPs (except Shadows Symphonie) will be getting a bonus that will summarize what the plot is intended to be!

While it isn’t quite what I ever thought it would mean, my wish to never leave a story unfinished still exist, and it’s a compromise that I hope will works for the majority of you, but even if it won’t be the same as a written story, I couldn’t and wouldn’t hiatus or close fics without giving closure to anyone that wants it!

So to give a summary of the changes!

Activity will be very low on all social medias I have

Twitter is 99% retweet of Wangxian/MDZS arts

Fic blog is mostly for occasional meta/hc and wanting to share when I update or post new fics

Personal sideblog is for occasional reblog

Pillowfort is pretty much dormant for now, might just have occasional post to promote my own content

All WIPs except Shadows Symphonie will go into hiatus with a few I will outright stop writing

However they will also all have a bonus that summarize the plot I have/had intended for them

The idea for most if not all hiatus fics is that I will work on them when I can, and only start posting again when I have a few chapters in advance at earliest, and more than halfway of it otherwise, if not all of it

This way of writing fics might also become my new norm, I might only post fics from now on, when I have written at the very least a few chapters in advance, if not at least halfway of it!

I am truly grateful for everyone who has followed me, here or on AO3 or both, and anywhere else, for the patience, for the interest, and it isn’t a goodbye, that’s for sure!

But I needed to makes changes, to stop forcing myself, to stop not being honest with myself, and I want to be able to write for the fics I actually want to write for, and most of all, I want to write my original content, I want my life to feel good, and for that, I needed to simplify everywhere I can, and be much more gentler with myself, to accept to let go of certain things, and put other things as secondary.

You might be here for my fics, or myself, and you’ll still see my fics, and I’m still around, if mostly through my fics, or seeing me retweet things, and occasional posts; though of course, my IM and inbox remains open!

However, I would feel deeply grateful and happy, if you see this post, and take the time to check what I write as original content. Or just bookmark my site for later, another time, because I’m the first to know you can want to check some things, but you need to file it somewhere as “to check later”. But the reason I say this is, this is my truest passion, and where I truly want to focus myself. There’s a tumblr and a twitter for my original content, and my writer twitter especially might be more active. And everything is free to read, as a personal choice, and while mostly writing fantasy (in various settings), I have some other things, including half-psychology half-spiritual thoughts sharing.

So all that remains is whether or not you might find something you like to read, and the best I can do, is simply to offer you check for yourself!

Again, I’m truly grateful for each follower and reader I have, and I’ll still be around, I’ll still be writing~!

#chrishere

1 note · View note

letmetellyouaboutmyfeels · 4 years

Note

Can you explain some of the terms in the history of fandom purges post? For example, what is a pro-shipper blog??? I’m really scared to be deleted! I’ve bren here for years!

Of course, I’m happy to explain! This is a very brief summary, if there’s anything you need to know more about, I’m happy to do my best. Fanlore is also a good site to look up some more stuff!

This is looooooong so under a cut! This is the post in question, for those of you wondering. Let’s go through it from top to bottom. I’ll skip the ones with links because you can follow those links to get more information.

Several times in the ‘90s as you can see on the timeline, authors and creators (and big studios like Paramount and LucasFilm) went after fansites, threatening them with Cease and Desist (C&D) letters and shutting them down. This was fairly common practice, and it wasn’t until fansites like Fiction Alley got big enough, and had actual lawyers on their side, that fandom was able to fight back. Ao3 keeps lawyers on staff for this very reason, because fandom falls under “fair use” and is legal.

Anne Rice is mentioned several times on that post and that’s because she is notorious for going after people who do fanwork. She is extremely controlling about how her characters are perceived by others, including going after anyone who writes a bad review about her books, and people writing their own interpretations of her characters just gets her goat like nothing else, apparently. And she has the money and lawyers to take down quite a lot of people. Thanks to our darling Ao3, we can write as much damn Interview with a Vampire fic as we desire, but you can understand why most fan archivists and fanwriters didn’t want to touch that possible lawsuit with a ten foot pole.

And, if you’re wondering what AOL, an email system, has to do with fansites? Well, another way to share fic, even before fansites, was through email chains. YES, YOU HEARD THAT RIGHT, READ AND LEARN, MY TINY CHILI BABIES. You had to sign up for an email newsletter to get fic! And oh, the fandom wars that could go on in this email chains… there’s a pretty infamous X Files one but that’s another post for another time. Anyway. X Files was one of the original “fandoms that ate fandom” (FTAF), a fandom so big that everyone was into it no matter what their original fandom was (Star Trek and Supernatural are two other examples of FTAF). AOL had a way of… how do I explain this… basically AOL was “hosting” a lot of the early prototypes of fansites, a version of the early email chains. So when The Powers That Be (TPTB) expressed their distaste for X Files fanfiction, AOL purged their X Files sites.

In the early 2000s, FanFiction.Net (FFN) was considered a safe haven. FFN was one of the first really big multifandom sites. Before that, if you wanted to read, say, Star Trek fic, you had to find a Star Trek fansite. If you then wanted to read X Files fic, you had to find an X Files fansite. And so on. Fan archives were often limited, and you might have to go to three different fansites to get all the fic out there, or even to get different kinds of fan material: a fic archive, a fan forum with news on the show/film/book, and a fanart archive.

Welcome to the dark days, my children.

Note: There are still some amazing fansites out there, filled with archived fic, fanart, and even some “virtual seasons” for television shows. If you or anyone you know is in charge of one of those archives, I beg of you to consider working with Ao3′s Open Doors project so that the fanwork on those sites can be preserved for future generations even after the original archivists pass on, lose funds, or lose interest.

Anyway, FFN was a huge relief for everyone because they no longer had to do all the work to archive our fic. Trust me, running an archive or even just uploading your fic back in the day could be exhausting. God forbid you get even one damn bit of your formatting wrong when you uploaded or it would all turn into a mess. And now, you could get your fic all in one place on one site! You didn’t have to sign up for all these different archives! You could have a single pseudonym and a single account for all your fic! The angels sang!

So when FFN got rid of fic without warning, it felt like a real betrayal. First, FFN banned porn, or anything they deemed to earn an NC-17 rating. Which is, as I’m sure you can immediately recognize, a sticky subject since people’s opinions are subjective about that. What does/does not qualify as porn? When is a fic too sexually graphic, what is and isn’t appropriate, etc?

Then FFN banned RPF, which stands for “Real Person Fiction.” If you write about Viggo Mortensen and Sean Bean banging each other, congratulations, you’ve written RPF (RPF was a big part of the Lord of the Rings fandom when the movies came out, fun fact, aren’t you all glad I went down this rabbit hole of research so you don’t have to). If you write about meeting Chris Evans in the airport and the two of you going on a date in the food court, yes, that is RPF.

The other FFN bans mentioned are script format, CYOA, Readerfic, 2nd person, and Songfic. Script format is where people would write things in, well, a script form. I don’t remember exactly why that was banned, I think it was a combination of fear of copyright infringement and just the formatting was so damn annoying to do. CYOA is short for “choose your own adventure” and was banned because it just got too unwieldy for people. This is creeping into gatekeeping territory on what is “legitimate” fic or not. “Choose your own adventure fic is annoying so we’re going to ban it!” is part of a slippery path on what is appropriate or not. “Readerfic” is written in 2nd person POV like so:

You open the front door and are immediately met with the smell of death. You’ve never been around dead people before, so you have no reason to know what the smell is–but somehow, some long-forgotten instinct tells you. You know exactly what this is.

Readerfic is where the reader, you, interacts with characters in a TV show. Take that little snippet I just wrote, for example. If that bit is a part of a larger fic where you’re a Loser and you’re friends with the kids from IT and help them defeat Pennywise, that’s an example of Readerfic. 2nd person is just any fic that uses the “you” as the POV instead of “her” (3rd person) or “I” (first person). This is one of my old-as-dirt Castle fanfics so excuse the quality but here is an example of 2nd POV fic. As you can see, Readerfic is 2nd person, but not all 2nd person is Readerfic.

Songfic is where a fic would use song lyrics throughout, sometimes to the point of annoyance, in telling the story. Basically it was where people would use a song that reminded them of their OTP and write a vignette based around that song. FFN banned it because again, fear of copyright C&D from songwriters and studios.

This was all in the early 2000s, as the timeline in that post shows, but it wasn’t the last time FFN banned things. In 2012 we all got yet another scare when FFN, without warning, purged a fuckton of fics in a porn crackdown. See, we all figured out preeeeetty quickly that nobody was moderating fics to see if we were following the “nothing NC-17 rated” rule, so people kept posting smut, myself included. FFN’s crackdown was sudden and we lost a ton of fic that way. It was after this ban that Ao3, which had been created c. 2009, really started to gain steam as people moved en mass over there.

Also, as the timeline shows, FFN used to have fandom forums. That was where people could discuss things. The forums had been pretty dead, what with LiveJournal and Tumblr, BUT, they contained a fuckton of valuable fandom discussion and meta. FFN purged them, and years of important fandom history was once again lost (along with juicy fandom gossip/wank/scandal… shut up we all have our guilty pleasures).

So that’s all the FFN stuff.

Gryffindor Tower, Sakura Lemon Archive, and some other examples on that list are not about fandom purges so much as they are about what happens when we have an archive run by just one person or a handful of people. That person dies, or is unable to foot the bill for the server, or the people in charge get into a personal argument. Whatever the reason, suddenly, that archive is gone. And so is all of that fic, and all of that history. Wiped away with a keystroke.

Strikethrough and Boldthrough on LiveJournal were similar to the FFN purges. You can read the whole story here, but basically a group of radicals claiming people in fandom were writing child pornography got LJ to purge a bunch of forums and pages, including a rape survivor forum and people who had only written 18+ consensual slash fic. Yeah, no shock that it’s always the slash fic (slash means m/m fic, femslash is w/w) that gets attacked no matter how G rated it is. Once again, everyone woke up to their journals, their forums, their fanwork, their years of history, gone.

Can you see the pattern here? A corporation like Marvel (another entry on this list) will go after fansites, and because Marvel has so much money and so many lawyers, the site caves and does what Marvel asks. Or a bunch of annoying people speak up, usually about smut/porn, and the corporation (LiveJournal, Tumblr, DeviantArt, etc) will get rid of blogs, fanart, fanfic, etc without warning.

This is why fandom cannot trust corporations. Corporations are out there to protect themselves legally by any means necessary and to make profit by any means necessary. Fandom inevitably clashes with that. So, inevitably, the corporation is going to turn against us.

In China, as you saw on the list, it’s especially bad because it’s not just corporations, it’s the government itself. And the government can, has, and will jail people who make fanwork that goes against what the government feels is “good/moral,” like slash fic.

*this section here edited 10/22/19 to update information*

The most recent are the Tumblr purges. Ah, the Tumblr purges. “Pro-shipping” blogs are blogs that are, as the poster of the list themselves explained in a reblog of this post, anti-anti blogs. Anti-blogs and antis are people who are against shipping. Pro-shipping blogs are blogs that are very aggressively “ship whatever you want” and “antis go away.” You’d know if you had a pro-shipping blog. So unless you have one of those, you’re good. I don’t really know the details about this one since that’s not really my discourse wheelhouse so you might want to ask around to get more information.

*okay we’re all updated now, back to the rest of the post*

And of course most of us know about the NSFW ban. Tumblr has a major problem with porn bots. Instead of staffing more people (Tumblr employs FAR too few people to handle the kind of upkeep this site needs) and having actual humans search through and find the porn blogs to delete them (which would be exceedingly easy, trust me, these porn blogs are not hard to find), they just let it keep being a problem. Eventually this led to Tumblr’s phone app being banned from the app store for inappropriate content.

Again, instead of dealing with this maturely and getting rid of the porn blogs, Verizon decided that all NSFW content was banned, and set about deleting all blogs they deemed NSFW. There is now an algorithm that determines if a post you made is NSFW, and it’s flagged and hidden, and you have to petition to get an actual human to look at it and decide if it’s NSFW or not. This algorithm, as I’m sure you can imagine, is absolute SHIT at finding actual NSFW material and will flag the most random BS.

Again, this is an example of a corporation purging and destroying our material. LGBT+ blogs discussing safe sex practices/giving sex advice, sex workers/cam girls who could safely use this site to make a living, rape discussion/survivor blogs, fanwork, people’s fun porn sideblogs, all of it once again destroyed.

Fun.

In just March/April of this year, in fact, several people’s blogs were deleted with no warning and for no reason. My dear friend @qqueenofhades lost her blog for weeks, and she and I and other friends had to petition tumblr daily to get it back (I sent so many emails that one tumblr tech got snarky with me). My darling @koortega suffered the same issue before getting her blog back. Alas, our dear @mearcatsreturns wasn’t so lucky–her original blog, and her years of work on it, were lost forever. Tumblr still hasn’t (to my knowledge) properly explained what happened, although it is telling that a lot of these blogs were queer-friendly, fandom-heavy content generators.

As the list said, this is why we need Ao3 and we need a solution for other kinds of fanwork like videos and fanart. This is why we can’t trust corporations to have our best interests at heart. This is why, despite all of us continuing to use tumblr, we need to find another solution for our fan blogging needs because they will screw us over again and again (until I become rich and famous and can buy this hellsite and run it properly dammit that is my lifelong dream don’t judge me).

I don’t think you’re in danger of getting deleted without warning, nonny. The company that now owns Tumblr seems to have a pretty good track record of running sites, and at least warning people before deleting shit. But that doesn’t mean it can’t happen again. I live in a state of… don’t be paranoid, but be ready, if that makes sense? Think of it like having an earthquake/tornado/hurricane first aid kit in your home. You aren’t constantly thinking about how you might need that kit for a natural disaster, but when that natural disaster hits, you have that kit ready.

Some people have backed up their blogs (I’m not sure how but you can google it or ask around). Others put their fic onto Ao3 (I backed up all my FFN fic onto Ao3 in 2016 for this very reason even though my FFN fic is, for the most part, utter crap). But we don’t have a long-term solution, which is what concerns people and is why that person made that list–to remind us of what we’ve lost and that we’re still in danger of it happening again.

I wish I had a better solution for you, nonny. I wouldn’t live in fear, if I were you? But I would ask around, and see if there’s a way to back up your blog. Because hurricanes do blow in.

#mads answers things #fandom #fandom history #fanfiction #fanfiction history #sorry this got so long #this was probably way more information than you needed nonny

94 notes · View notes

mysticsparklewings · 4 years

Photo

Fire Flower

Note: I originally made this painting and typed most of the description towards the end of March. I meant to upload this sooner, but things happened it obviously got pushed way back. Oh gee, would you look at that. It has somehow been 8-9 months since I last made a full acrylic painting... But! I have a video for this one to make up for it! Link: youtu.be/8IgVvgTiZjM I promise I've been trying (and failing) to come up with ideas to do more with this medium. Acrylic paint just isn't my thing. I swear I said this somewhere before, but I have no idea where; It's just hard for me to commit to an acrylic painting when I know I can get the look I want usually much faster and much more easily with other supplies. Acrylic painting just takes so much more time, set up, and patience. This very painting I know I probably could've had done in half the time using primarily watercolor instead, for example. So why is this an acrylic painting instead of something quicker and easier? Because my dear Sparklers, I made this painting and filmed it as a bit of a blending demo for a friend. They tried their hand at an acrylic painting with a sky going from red to yellow...except they lost most of the yellow in the process, and even they weren't really sure how it happened. So since I'm in sort of an art teaching/mentoring position to them, I decided I'd pull out my paints and take a shot at a similar look. Now, to be fair, my end result is very different from their's intentionally. They painted a boat on the water during sunset, I wanted something different and more me, so after some browsing around on Pinterest, I settled on this flower silhouette. I made my own job harder because the reference image had a blue and orange background with lots of black, almost like a vignette, so once I got past the stage of putting the base background colors down, I had a lot more work cut out for myself in trying to replicate that. Speaking of which, you can see most of my process in the video, but a recap just in case: I started by picking out my paint colors, and to be fair I could've gotten away with less or slightly different colors, but I got extravagant and picked a total of nine colors from my Liquitex Basics set (also known as currently the only decent acrylic paints I have):

• Mars Black • Ivory Black • Titanium White • Cadmium Red Deep Hue • Cadmium Red Light Hue • Portrait Pink • Naples Yellow Hue • Cadmium Yellow Medium Hue • Primary Yellow Why the two blacks? Mars Black is a "denser" black so to speak, it's more opaque (less transparent/see-through). The Ivory Black is less opaque, and it's a bit warmer in color than the Mars black. I used the Mars black in areas where I wanted a total and complete black and the Ivory black where I wanted some of the colors from the background to leak through a bit. It's subtle, more of a "feeling" to the eye than something you can clearly see. Also, I used the Portrait Pink, which like the name implies is a very pink flesh tone, and the Naples Yellow Hue (think a shade similar to Yellow Ochre...or fancy Mustard if "yellow ochre" doesn't help you visualize) primarily for blending and not so much for the colors themselves. And the Cadmium Red Light Hue is much more of a reddish-orange in person than it is red, which is why I picked it. It's also pretty transparent (yellows and oranges often are in acrylic paints, especially more student grade ones like the Liquitex Basics) so it also got lost in the mix fairly easily and I had to build it up a lot. In the video, you can definitely see as I start that I do indeed do a lot of back and forth with the paints, blending and layering to my heart's content to try and get the right color balance while also getting a smooth transition. And this goes on for quite a while; the background was definitely the part that took the longest. Initially, I did sketch in a couple of lines as markers for roughly where I needed certain parts of the gradient to begin and end, and with the paints, I went in and got down the base of red and yellows so I could then start working on marrying the two together. And I have to admit, even I let my yellows get a bit lost/pushed down more so than I would've liked. It's a difficult balance to strike; red is already a strong color that easily overpowers yellow. It's even easier when the yellow and your transition colors are more transparent while the red is more opaque. And even more so when your painting has a vignette feel to it. But once I finally had something I was comfortable with and blocked in most of the black (which was a pain in the butt to blend out, by the way, as I'm sure is obvious by how much I go back and forth with it in the video, misusing a fluffy watercolor brush as a mop brush to blend), I then took my outline for the silhouette that I'd already prepared on another piece of paper and used a Faber Castell Gelato (first a gray, then later I'd use a black) on the back to be able to transfer it on the canvas by tracing it with a mechanical pencil with the point pushed in. Personally, I really do think the Gelatos are the best method I've tried for making faux-transfer paper. They're soft so they transfer the color without much fuss without making a powder smudge-y mess (like charcoal, chalk, or pastels might), and they're also water-soluble so they play nicely with the wetness of the acrylic paints, especially if you've thinned them with a bit of water. Then I got the lovely challenge of trying to paint and blend out a nice bright setting sun on top of the blackish mess I'd made. (It actually wasn't that bad; the Titanium White is pretty opaque so once it mixed with the yellow and I got a couple of layers on it really didn't have any problem covering the darkness that it had to.) After that, I transferred again some of my lines I'd covered up and then got to work on the black silhouette parts. I did have to alter the look slightly because I wasn't quite as careful with lining up the placement of my "transfer paper" that second time and also because the brush had different ideas about how much black should be in some places than I did, but it wasn't too much of a hassle. And then, of course, the real challenge of blending the black up to meet the silhouettes without completely covering up my sun or messing up my other blending. Although, this also wasn't as tricky as I had thought it would be. Ironically, I think by the time I got this far I was finally starting to get a handle on the acrylics after having been away from them for so long. Believe it or not, this tiny 4"x6" painting took well over two hours to complete. I had at least two hours of footage that I trimmed down and sped up like four times, and that doesn't include the dry time in between two background layers, the background and the sun, and then the sun and the silhouette. I'd say it was probably closer to 3 and 1/2 hours total, although technically longer because I kept getting interrupted by things and I had to figure out how to set up the camera and everything before I actually started painting. Once I was done with the painting, I also had to actually edit the thing together, which took many more hours than I bothered to document or care to admit. (P.S. Whoever decided all free video editors that don't come pre-installed on a computer either must have stupidly low export limits and/or super obnoxious watermarks, I hate you.) Yeah, there's a reason it's been almost a year since I last posted an actual video of me making art... It just takes so long to edit everything together and I also have to make an extra effort to get stuff set up before and after for filming...Like, maybe it would be different if I had the space and resources to have an area where I could just leave everything and have a camera set up that doesn't move, but right now when my space is limited and my phone is my camera it's just so much easier to...well, to not. At any rate, here's one. One acrylic painting, and one video. A two-for-one special! Sort of! And I think both turned out pretty okay in the end, at least for someone that 1. Doesn't acrylic paint and 2. Doesn't make videos regularly. I call that a win, wouldn't you? Although, I have a few canvases stockpiled. I really should work on trying to squeeze more acrylic paintings into my art regimen somewhere to use those up, if nothing else... ____ Artwork © me, MysticSparkleWings ____ Where to find me & my artwork: My Website | Commission Info + Prices | Ko-Fi | dA Print Shop | RedBubble | Twitter | Tumblr | Instagram

2 notes · View notes

theexecutionerssong · 5 years

Text

It’s recap of the end of the year party time (with pics)! under the cut because I ramble a lot as usual.

First they gave us SKAM France pillows when we got there so we could sit as comfortably as possible on the floor of the venue. There were about 400 people and it was a tight fit! While we were waiting, they played songs from s3 and 4, everyone was already getting emotional.

The afternoon started with speeches from the execs and David as usual before getting the cast on stage - Assa, Coline, Lula, Maxence, Philippine, Théo, Léo, Robin, Gigi, Moussa, Edouard, Aliénor and later Laïs who was late - and then they showed us a tribute video with iconic scenes of season 3 and 4, in which they included tweets and fanarts by the fans, like testimonies, reactions, etc, everyone was a mess of tears after that.

Then David asked every member of the cast how had their lives changed because of Skam. I filmed this part, link to the video is in the source at the bottom of this post. David hadn’t warned them they would have to answer that question so they weren’t prepared and many got emotional - poor Maxence who went first was a mess. Niels finally got here so he was asked the same question, Antonio too and David answered his own question. A lot of thank yous were exchanged and I’m sorry not sorry about my sniffling in the background of the video but I can’t see people cry and not cry too. The overall message was that they are all proud of what they have done because they can see what an impact the series had just by seeing us in front of them half crying half smiling, as well as with the overwhelming amount of messages they’ve been receiving for months. I really loved what David said about refusing programs that don’t show diversity, that we should stand our ground on this and say no to programs with only white characters or straight couples. That they told one story, but we can and should tell all the others.

Then the crew was called on stage, Jérémy and the editing team to talk a bit, before they showed us the bloopers. That’s when I stopped filming, the room was in the dark anyway and you all saw the bloopers on Youtube by now. Assa tried to leave the stage completely and hide ahah. The cast hadn’t seen them before and there must have been some inside jokes going on because they would laugh WAY LOUDER than us at some stuff. Maxence got so shy about the “I’m ticklish Daviiid” part while everyone was so fond :’) there were a few fond headshakes at Axel’s laughing too.

Then we played a game, a fan would go against one member of the cast and the first to answer the question would win the point. The questions were about the 4 seasons and David called actors who weren’t necessarily in the season just to check if they had paid attention / watched it at all but we DESTROYED THEM. We won so easily, it was hilarious. They got 4 questions right first. The questions ranged from who was Emma dressed as at the halloween party in s1 to what day and exact time did the trailer for s3 dropped. Theo is the worst loser in history, Lula is SO COMPETITIVE, Moussa tried to intimidate the fan that went against him and Coline tried to take her mic, while Niels got his question right and literally jumped in the air, he scared me sdfghjklkj. I was really into it so I didn’t film. But here are a few pics - I haven’t posted them anywhere else so DO NOT repost them. Please.

Then there was a little Q&A, questions were about if they had watched other remakes, why is Arthur’s ig on private and Maxence’s role in The House Of Gaunt - can’t believe there’s going to be a screening at the Grand Rex, I’m so fucking proud, this is HUGE!!!! I filmed parts of this too but not everything because it was questions we had heard before.

We took a lil break to drink and get a bit of fresh air after that before coming back inside. Laïs and Assa were on stage in the dark - keep in my mind we hadn’t seen Laïs before then so we were like ???? IS THAT LAIS?? When did he get here, what’s happening? - and they danced. Beautiful, adorable, show stopping, spectacular, emotional, out of this world. David teased Laïs for being late and asked him the same question about how Skam changed his life or not. I filmed all that.

David then called a fan on stage to share her story. Skam France saved her life. Really. It was extremely emotional. She was so strong, despite shaking so bad. We kept asking that they gave her a hug but David, Niels, Assa and Laïs who were on stage said they would hug her only once she was done talking. They wanted to let her say everything she had to say. Lots, lots of tears then. Niels took Assa under his arm because she was trying hard to keep it together for the fan’s sake. They gave her the biggest, tightest hug when she was done. I didn’t film because it was almost too personal, y’know? Sure she went on stage but her story still feels private, so I felt wrong about filming. I took a few pics though.

Then there was the concert! Coline was singing and playing the piano and guitar, while Léo and Edouard were playing the guitar and the bass. Lula and Gigi joined for the harmonies during Get Lucky and Remember. They sang Get Lucky by the Daft Punk, Fête de Trop by Eddy de Pretto (featured in s3), Unknown by Jacob Banks (featured in s4), Remember by Seinabo Sey and Jacob Banks (featured in s3) and an original song called Menthe à l’eau inspired by Demi Lovato’s overdose (Coline is a big fan). Most of the cast was standing/kneeling to the side of stage to watch and then you had Maxence right in the middle of the fans, hyping the crowd and jumping around. I didn’t film more than my ig stories because my hands were shaking too much but I’ve posted a few pics before, have some again

And then came the last goodbyes with everyone on stage, including cast and crew and I filmed all that. We were all holding our breaths for a potential announcement but they only said thank you, we love you, we’ll be in touch. I could barely hold my camera. And then Zina by Babylone, the music from the last clip of s4 started playing and Coline melted into Maxence arms crying, Assa was holding back tears, they all started hugging and then leaving the stage one by one, the lights went up and we all looked at each others like… so this is it uh. We were not fairing very well, let me tell you. Fans were hugging and drying each other’s tears, I was hugged so tight by people I didn’t even know two months ago and it was just… It was a lot of love. So much love.

Before going outside, they gave us a poster signed by the cast. I stayed in the lobby a bit to look at the BTS pictures I posted before. There was a stand thingy where we could take pics with the Skam Logo and quotes. Maxence saw fans were taking pics there and just jumped in the middle to photobomb them azedfghjk

We then went outside to talk with the cast and crew for a while but the security whisked them away quite quickly so we didn’t have that much time. We had maybe 30 minutes outside with everyone. I went around to take pics and thank them a last time. I’ve posted most of those already.

Niels, David, Jérémy, Coline, Robin, Moussa and Gigi stayed longer, I don’t know why the security didn’t asked them to leave. I had a chat with Jérémy that I want to share because it really struck me. He was wondering if it was true that Skam France was the only remake that does this kind of event. He was so surprised, because and I quote “but how can we not give back just a little bit when you give us so much? I’m just the editor, and you’re here talking with me.” According to him, it’s a feeling shared by everyone in the cast and crew, no matter their role on the show, fans are always happy to see them and talk and ask questions, and they are deeply appreciative of that. Not just the actor, but the crew too. He was extremely grateful and appreciative. And I loved that, because it’s so true, they don’t have to. I’m not saying they other remakes should do this. I’m seeing that I’m baffled the Skam France team considers this normal. They didn’t have to do all this, the screenings, the party. It was for us. Because they don’t know how to thank us.

I took the bus home while holding the pillow they gave us against my chest, not a care in the wolrd about who would see me. I was completely emotionally drained, but happy, and thankful for this amazing cast and crew, all the love that kept pouring out of everywhere during the afternoon. They gave us so much. I saw people on Tumblr and Twitter who were disappointed that they weren’t announcements or more bts content but… this was a party for the fans, a way to celebrate the success of seasons 3 and 4, the only way they found to tell us thank you. It wasn’t a press conference. It was magical. So many smiles. So much laughter. Such tight hugs. It was way more than enough for me.

#skam france #fête de fin d'année #im a MESS #gaelle parle #my pics #skam france event

199 notes · View notes

tisfan · 4 years

Text

State of the Fics 2019

The WIPS and Dead Ends Edition

So: having recently had a few discussions with some fellow authors and talking about other writers and stuff... here is where I’m going to answer some/most/all of the MOARPLZ requests.

I have 440+ works on A03 and a lot of what I hear is MOARPLZ or “is there going to be any more of this...”

So, I’m kinda going through my list right now and letting you know what my plans are for 2020 and what, if anything, you can count on to see more of, and what is, in fact, truly over. If you don’t see a fic that you love and want to know more about it, feel free to ask me.

Take Note and RSVP - every once in a while, we get asked about this story. This was my first jaunt into the fic world, and it’s unfinished. We lost our Steve writer because of some Fandom Drama (you can blame some stans who accused us of plagiarizing a fic we’d never read who continually attacked us until the stress just made it not worth the effort of finishing.)

Solar Powered Soldiers was my first solo effort. This fic, as far as I’m concerned, pretty much sucks. It was meant to be a Steve/Bucky fic, ended up with the only smut scene as a Nat/Clint piece, and didn’t really have a satisfactory ending. I am not likely to ever go back and fix this.

Steve of Oz was supposed to be mostly smutty foray into exploring Steve as the Avengers Bike. The plan was basically for him to end up having sex with literally everyone, while in a Wizard of Oz setting. Never happened, didn’t get much response to it.

Lost in the Shadows Every once in a while, I get someone who asks me about this AU. Talk about your niche markets! On the other hand, I love me some ShadowRun, so I have not closed down the idea of writing more on this AU...

So, here’s a fun thing: This particular AU is what’s been requested by my Marvel Trumps Hate winner, so, I’ll be writing a dragon-level event story for this, some 27 - 30,000 words. You ready, chummer?

The Communal Kitchen AU We have a few half-complete stories in this series; Vol 3, the Mating Habits of Hero Birds, a vague outline of a Team NuclearWinter side piece, and a couple of smut pieces that never got written. I may yank the sex pollen scene from Vol 3 out and post it as a stand-alone. We’ll see. If there’s interest in any of this, maybe we’ll come back to it. (I am currently re-reading the whole series, because honestly, I write the fic I want to read, and so I re-read my own stuff rather a lot.)

Anything involving Phil Coulson and Clint Barton - while I still ship this couple, and I’ll read stuff about them, I’ve pretty much given up writing them. Between Agents of SHIELD and everything with Clint starting in, say Age of Ultron forward, I just... don’t feel it anymore? Which does include the started and never finished Coulson’s Final Case

Next Thursday Night - huh, I’d honestly forgotten about this fic. maybe i’ll revisit it this year upcoming... somewhere I think I have an outline.

Subject to PunTax - I love puns, and this story is very formulaic. I pick a topic, make up 5-7 puns on the subject, wrap a story around it and tie a bow with a suggestive pick up line. So, I leave this open to continue, the next time I’m feeling Punny.

Bucky Barnes has Kittens - Bucky as the crazy cat lady writer with bad anxiety. I’ve had a lot of people tell me this story has been great for them, dealing with Bucky’s anxiety issues. I do have more story ideas for this ‘verse, including Bucky finding out that Steve is also a writer and dealing with that. Decidedly On the List.

Eight Arms to Hold You - I have a handful of extra stories for these. Some of them went up on Tumblr for tentacletober... generally speaking, any mermaid fic of mine is subject to a continuation because MERMAIDS and OCTOBUCKY

All American Road Trip confession time here: I stopped writing this fic because of some anti-tonys who kept popping in my comments for this fic to rant about Tony Stark in a fic that was NOT ABOUT TONY. I’ve deleted all their comments, but they were nasty, and I stopped wanting to write for people who were being so abusive to Tony (and honestly, that much bile spilling in my comments, I don’t care who it’s about, it makes me sad) Like, they liked the Fic (steve/sam/bucky) but... eeeh, whatevs. I didn’t feel like dealing with it, and I’m not going to.

Also Prey - One of my more popular pieces, I reserve the right to add more to it when I’m in a fluff mood.

Kiss me Through the Phone - I wrote this with @27dragons and I have about... half a plan for a third chapter called Your Dirty Little Secret. So, with some encouragement, that could happen.

The Truth is Who You Are - my BDSM with religious song lyrics fic; this stuff is really emotional for me, and while I do have 2-3 more pieces planned, they take me a while to write and they knock the shit out of me while I’m doing it. There’s a lot of Tony working through his self-hatred that just... it’s deep. So... there will be more, it just... might be Some Time.

The Killer and the Kid - this is literally my most popular piece. I get a MOAR PLZ ask on this at least once a month. I have been saying for a while I’m not planning any more of this, but I did offer it as an incentive for the Marvel Trumps Hate auction. This particular fic will ONLY BE WRITTEN for a charitable donation.

Joyride - I’ve written a couple of addons for this fic loosely titled Bundle of Joy. They’re not quite Done Yet, but when I get there, I’ll be posting that.

Nights in Sandbridge - our most popular series, and I love these boys so much here. We have no major plans to continue, but if something strikes us, we may.

WinterIron Pickup - a short story that spawned a second chapter. I have some ideas for continuing this, but it’s fallen by the wayside as I write other things.

What Good is the Sky - this piece is so angsty, and I keep getting requests to do moar of it. Trust me, you don’t want that, it will END BADLY. and I will cry a LOT.

Off the Menu - I really do have a LOT more of this story in my head. I just don’t know when I’m going to get around to it.

Bucky Barnes Prom CYOA this was SO HARD to format that I just gave up on it. I may come back and redo this as a few “completed” stories?

Phoning it In - I do, in fact, have a few more of this AU in mind, I just lost a bit of the shiny after an amazing fucking against the sofa smut scene. So, there might be more of this in your future (also I kept expecting it to win March Madness, so I-- didn’t get back ‘round to it?)

A Poor Reflection - never got finished. Not sure why, I had the whole damn thing plotted out. Where is my outline??

The Enhancile War Series - mostly to play with the trope of naked girl in a box, this series originally had four plotted stories, but we just could NOT get the fourth story to GO anywhere, even pushing on it really, really hard.

Any Old Music Will Do - I have a plot outline for this one, with Bucky and Tony forming the core of the Defenders, along with Luke and Jessica, but I don’t know what I did with it... anyway, there’s more ideas here. a bit.

Indispensable we had a plot idea for a sequel and I actually think we wrote about 15000 words or so on it, but-- meh, it ended up not being very interesting. If we come up with some actual plot, then maybe?

Park(s) and Wreck(ed) - I have some more ideas for this as Tony and Bucky get their sexy on all over the office.

Stark, Naked - we did, in fact, do a sequel to this, which was rather short, but well-received. Not much ideas here for anything else, but we like this version of them, so if we get good prompts, we might be tempted to take up the reigns again.

Land After Time - We get a LOT of requests for Moar of this. If we had ANY FUCKING CLUE what was going on, we might. but we really, really don’t

We Can’t Eat That (It’s Dead) - I actually have an entire plot for this, on who the dead guy is and what happened... I could be encouraged.

Forever Home - we wrote a full length sequel to this, but weirdly enough, it WASN’T the original sequel we’d sort of talked about. which means there’s potentially a third story here... (maybe a 4th one, too)

Excuse me, I think You Have My Suitcase - the further adventures of Tony and Bucky in lacy underthings. Yes. The next time I feel like PWP, I plan to revisit.

Dead to Rights - I still really like this idea... I just didn’t get as much traction from the Umbrella Academy fandom as I would have liked. Probably because most of my writer friends are Not Into It, which doesn’t give me many people to bounce ideas off

New York: Become Human - there’s a LOT more story here to tell... maybe we’ll tell it.

Rejoice in the Sun - I started writing this fairly soon after Endgame, when I had a lot of feels, but between the absolute outpouring of hatred about that movie from the fandom. seriously, y’all were going all Annie Wilkes up in the house to the point that I put Endgame back on BLACKLIST to get away from the seething bile... it got really hard to enjoy post endgame content, and I got sick, too, so... that didn’t help any.

Once a Knight - Witch Bucky and Knight Tony... we have some more plot for this...

No Job Too Small - I think I even have another chapter of this WRITTEN. And some more plotted out. Tony and tiny children. What could go wrong?

(D)rift Away - Bigger Better Bugspray... what happens when the Rifters come back? There might be more of this, once I work out some plot. And honestly, stop getting distracted by the damn @heamarvel prompts.

The Door into Winter - I have a whole story for this, still working on it

Learning to Work Together (Good Omens) - we have some more feels for this, so possibly, if we can put plot together.

Pretty much everything else i’m posting in progress is still going strong, Blueberries, Hell Charger, Can’t Help you Fix Yourself, Reclamation, Draco Malfoy and the Rune... and I have a couple of other collabs with other people that are... bogged down with details right now.

We’ve got a couple of stories headed your way from the Marvel HEA Hallmark challenge, including what may well be my new favorite: Buck Barnes Got Married. We also wrote a Cyber Punk AU with companion Tony as an excuse to dress Tony up in skimpy outfits.

So, that’s like the general status of Old Fic... and having ideas is not the same as finding the time to sit down and WRITE them, especially since New Ideas are attacking me at the same time, honestly.

14 notes · View notes

ghostsofmemories · 4 years

Note

What piece have you written that you're most proud of?

I’ve written a couple poems I really love, which I’ll put under the cut because I don’t want to be obnoxious, but the one I’m the most proud of to this day is The Universe In You (that’s a link to the Tumblr post with the poem), which I wrote several months ago and actually won some contests with. Unfortunately, none of them got me any money, but I do have my biggest contest with this poem coming up where I actually have to show up in person and read it in front of an audience for a chance at scholarship money. I never did show it to the person who I wrote it about, which is kind of easy to understand once you read it. Here are a couple others I’m a little proud of:

I think this is the only one in another post, titled Children Like Melting Pots. I love it because it was one of the only poems I wrote that included not only my fear of being like my parents, but that my parents will be like each other. It also ended with an actual resolution where I realize I am my own person. Also, I love the title.

- - -

Origin:

My hometown.Every corner of every streetHolds a memory for me.A pair of shoes hanging from the skyFor three Thanksgivings.

Born here,Raised here,I was nearly buried here,Everything about meTraces backAnd backTo the poorly kept up park,To the woodland’s hidden hills,To the trees with our names carved deep,To the water,To the street,Climbing hills with bare feetAnd hand-me-down sweaters.

This town.The only roads I truly know,The only place I want to goBack to.You know I can’t stay,But you do know I love you.

My hometown.Every corner of every street,I walked it all with aching feet,A pair of shoes hanging from the skyFor six Thanksgivings.

I love this poem because I feel like it’s the only way I can truly express where I grew up and my love for that place. I wouldn’t ever want to live there again because of all the pain I experienced there, but I’ll always miss it and it’ll always be my home. Additionally, there’s a family joke in here from when my cousin threw a pair of shoes up at the powerlines on Thanksgiving years and years ago, and they’re still there. This one is also entered in the contest!

- - -

I didn’t steal anything, I swear.

I am nothing if not clayIn the hands of the world—In the hands of a universe.Mold me,Shape me,Write meLike the stories of thoseJust like meThat they never got the chance to tellBecause they were cut short.Because they were cut open,Words and blood falling outOf their bodies,Unfiltered yet unspoken.An illegal love forAnother womanWho knew it would kill her?Who knew it would hurt so muchTo exist?She was born like this,And yet she will pay for itAs if it were a pair of sunglassesFrom a department store - a stolen kissAnd not the love of her life.I am nothing if not clayBut make no mistake,I will write this story with every acheThat I feel for the people like me.

I wrote this poem after I had finally gotten over a lot of my internalized homophobia, and I spent a year coming back to it and changing things. Probably my most edited poem of all time.

- - -

A Portrait

How do you Capture such beauty?With paint, with pens, with poetry?It’s just so impossibleMy problem? Unsolvable.But I try to make something you’ll see.

I’ve tried and I’ve triedTo draw or describeThe way that you make me feel.But despite what I do,My portrait of youWill only continue to fail.

Paint and paper just Don’t seem to fit you,I can’t put all my love in one piece.So I’ll pick a lyric,And I’ll let you hear it,And then I’ll paint that, at least.

My words come up shortEvery damn time,And most disappear when I blink.Spoken or written,Whatever I’ve givenIs half of what I truly think.

You’re far too infiniteFor someone like meTo capture in something so small.You’re far too expansiveFor this dopey romantic,I just don’t have a catch-all.

Poem and picture,Rhyme after rhyme,Hoping to get it all down.But I never run out ofWords for you, love,I can only pray to get decent ones out.

This poem is sometimes very hard to look back on because it’s from not only the happiest part of my relationship, but the happiest part of my life. I wrote it in July of 2019, and in several of my other poems from my collection I reference July. “Starry nights under a July sky,” and “Every time I see you smile / I’m reminded of July / And I’m reminded of who I used to be.” It also has a very specific rhyme scheme and took me a very, very long time to write.

Tired-Eyed Girl (The Homecoming Poem)

This particular poem isn’t one I’m comfortable sharing on a platform that the person I wrote it about also uses and follows me on, and having it in my collection makes me anxious enough. This poem has several references to poems my ex wrote about me, specifically one called Teary-Eyed Girl and another one called Tiger Lily, and it’s basically me being confused after being asked to homecoming, then un-asked, and then spending that night together anyway but not in a romantic context. It talks about the hurt of being completely abandoned in a romantic relationship, but that person still being your best friend. Basically, taking what you can get. I’m proud of it but reading it also makes me cry every time.

- - -

Hers

She holds the sun,She’s walked the moon.The world’s in the palm of her hands.

She owns the night,She swims in the stars,And her world is made of silkThat you’ll never touch.

It’s too good to be true.She’s too good for you.Even if you could win,You’d try not to.

She rules the world,And you live a lie.And no matter how much you do for her,She won’t even try.

You’ll give up your whole lifeFor a girl and a knife?

Bend to her will and her way;She rules the world, she saves the dayDon’t see the little things she does that hurt.

You’re nothing,You are nothing,

If not hers.

I wanted to include this one so it could be in writing somewhere on the internets before my collection gets published next year. This poem is not about my ex. First of all, my ex is not a girl. Secondly, my ex was never this toxic. There may have been what felt like power imbalances at times, but those were never taken advantage of and this poem isn’t about that. It’s about toxic friendships, and doing what people say because you’re not sure what else to do. Maybe you aren’t being threatened, but you don’t have anywhere else to go, either.

- - -

Red, Like You

To be perfectly honest,I didn’t used to like red.But when you became so incredibly adamantThat red was the greatest color,I saw it in a whole new way.

Red is different now.It’s no longer the color of blood,Of anger,Of pain.

Red is love.Red is excitement.Red is the color I turn Every time you use that smile.Red is you.

I don’t even know if this countsAs poetry.There’s no rhythm, no rhyme, nothing.Just thoughts in verse.Just thoughts that burn.Just simple wordsThat never workQuite how I want.You’re all I want.

I find in youThe most essential type of beauty.The primary red.I used to think I was blue.Blue because I don’t even know why.But you told me I was grayAnd it all made sense.The contrast feels nice.

[I think red might be my new favorite color.]

This poem isn’t necessarily one of my best, but I’ve always loved it because it’s the most honest poem I’ve ever written. It’s a stream of consciousness and to me, this poem is what love feels like. It’s a change in perspective that burns, sometimes, but it’s necessary. There’s also some primary color wordplay and the implication that the person this poem is written about is bright, exciting, warm. Which he was. The line in brackets at the end is a line that used to be in the poem, but I later removed it because it just didn’t seem to fit. However, it is graffitied under a highway near my house. I wrote this poem in September when I was under a fervor of emotions and felt nothing but love, and to me, the world felt totally and completely red.

Alright, that’s all I’ve got! I have a ton of poems set aside from my collection and these are a couple of my favorites that I think sum up the collection better than I could. I also wanted a couple of the explanations down in words so people can’t turn some of these around on me later.

#poem #poetry #poems #writing my obituary #wmo #graffiti #long post #lynn answers #ask #anon #love #relationships #breakup #beautiful #love poems #queer #queer lit #lesbian #lesbian poetry #sappho

3 notes · View notes

oveliagirlhaditright · 4 years

Text

I sent Tumblr user rainhadaenerys why she might like the show Dark Angel, and I thought I might as well also post it here since I never shut up about it (for anyone curious)

So, I think there's a chance you might like the show "Dark Angel" (at least the first season. The second season had some good ideas but bad execution. But while most people prefer the first season, the second season fans are more vocal online. Probably because Jensen Ackles is in it).

The first season came out in 2000 and takes place in 2019-2020 (the second season is 2020-2021 and came out a year later, after 9/1 in real life, which is why season two toned down some of S1's themes). The show is about this created/genetically engineered girl, Max, who was designed to be the perfect soldier and who--alongside those like her in her unit, who she sees as “siblings”--was tortured by her military creators (such as her main traitor and surrogate awful father, Lydecker), until she and eleven others of them escaped when she was nine. From there on out, she's on the run, staying under the radar so she doesn't have to go back to where she was created and had been kept (Manticore).

In the year 2009 (the year Max escaped, when she was nine) terrorists set off this electromagnetic pulse, that basically wiped out all of America's technology and turned it into a third world country over night (so this is part of how Max is able to keep her head down in this world). But because of all of this, there was anarchy and bad people overtook the good ones and stole their positions, returning things to the law of the jungle (there's a lot in this show about corrupt political figures, police brutality), etc.

At first journalists tried to report on all of this, but then they were silenced. But one--Logan Cale--went underground as "Eyes Only", an anonymous cyber journalist who hacks into people's broadcasts and tells them the truths being kept from them, and is seen as a terrorist by those he'd try to expose.

At the start of the show (2019), Max works in Seattle as a bike messenger (also in the city where Logan is), which is the worst job you can get and the only one the underprivileged can (many of these being people of color) and steals things from the rich to give to a private investigator trying to help her find her siblings.

Eventually she tries to steal something from Logan (not knowing he's Eyes Only, but she finds this out here). And there's an immediate attraction, because they get into this conversation while Logan's holding her at gun point--trying to keep her there until the guards come--because they realize they have something in common (like admiration for the goddess Bast, which is the statue Max was trying to steal), and Logan is actually happy Max is just a thief because he thought she was an assassin.

This one drug company is acting like they're selling the drug to people--that will save their lives--but is really just selling them candy, and selling the real thing for a higher price overseas. And a woman who knows this is going to testify about it, and Logan is keeping her and her daughter at his apartment until they can get to a safehouse.

Max eventually bolts, and Logan sees her use her powers in doing so. He tracks her down, partly to see if she's going to be a danger to him, but also because the audience can begin to see that he wants to enlist her help. The two of them debate about morality, about how Logan wants to make a change and give people choices again. But Max is skeptical that he wants to get it back to the "good old days", where people still died of diseases they didn't need to and spent obscenes amounts of money redecorating their homes to match their cat. She leaves again when he questions how she jumped out of, like, an eleven story window unscathed.

They meet up one more time, and Logan kind of seduces/tricks Max into letting her see the barcode on her neck (that all those from Manticore have, as its encrypted into their DNA. He’d gotten an anonymous tip about Manticore years ago and put two-and-two together that Max was one one of the escapees), and Max is hurt by this (as she had really liked him and feels hella betrayed here. I think Logan for sure liked her, but he's just way too focused on his mission above all else at first, and that's one of the flaws he has to work on).

He bargains with Max that if she helps him get the woman and her daughter into witness protection, he'll help her find her siblings. Max understandably disagrees, since so far she's gotten by by keeping to herself and wants to keep it that way.

Logan tries to do the mission by himself but it fails. He's shot and ends up in a coma for a time, and is paraplegic in the end. And the little girl is kidnapped, but the mom makes it back to Logan's apartment. Max sees all of this broadcast on TV and feels guilty, and actually goes to see the unconscious Logan at the hospital (and tells him how she's not sorry and sees it all as his fault, even though she doesn't), and saves him from another assassination attempt. She runs into the little girl’s mother (the little girl’s named Sophie) and promises to save Sophie, and does so rather impressively.

She even gets Manticore, that had been on her tail the whole episode, to fight for her--by getting the address for the girl's location on a line that she knew was tapped and that Manticore was listening in on. And there's a chilling moment at the end where Max, wearing a mask, walks by Lydecker while carrying Sophie and he realizes at the last moment that it was her. Edit: They also bring all those who were duping people--and selling them candy, so that they ended up dying because of it:(--to justice.

A few months later, Max visits Logan at his apartment and he's back in the fight for the less fortunate. Max ends up asking if he thinks he can really make a difference, to which he says he thinks he can with her help, and Max agrees to his deal and this is where the show really starts.

And it's just... so good. I like the political commentary, that I could see you really getting into (and I'm sad they tone it down in S2, after 9/11), but my favorite bits is the stuff with Max, Lydecker, her siblings, and all things Manticore that I barely even touched on here.

Most of the transgenics (those created humans) are PoC, too (including Max) to show how they're oppressed.

And Max is just SUCH a good character (who's even a chosen one in S2), with such great development, who has to be one of the best characters of all-time (especially for female heroes).

And in S1, there's so much showing of how men can be awful, and Max is like the hero to women from them (beating up many of them and even killing a few. It reminds me a bit of Daenerys. And is why I say claims against Dany--saying that when she did things like Max, it was hints of her madness--is bullshit. They'd probably do the same to Max if her show had come out today, but it didn't and instead she got to be the awesome hero she deserved to be).

She also eventually stops stealing altogether--even though I was okay with her not being a goody-goody hero--unless it's from the bad and for the poor.

She also becomes a leader...

There's also so much fun swapped gender role stuff with her and Logan (with her being the superhero and him the sidekick, her being the brawns and him the brains--though Max has equal brains, too, if not even more than Logan--and her doing comic book type things, like super speeding away and Logan getting irritated by it: usually it’s a guy hero who does this, and a normal girl annoyed with it... and Logan can even cook exceptionally, and is always cooking for Max, and she can’t even boil water, etc.).

And speaking of which, Max and Logan are my favorite ship of all time. They're so interesting... and fun (but there's loads of angst there, too), and are SO good for each other. Logan helps Max become more selfless (which really, she always was and wanted to be) and she helps him to chill. And they're both liberal lefties.

The first season of this show is my favorite show of all-time.

Edit: The character, Original Cindy, is also one of the first lesbians on TV (maybe even the first, and before Willow in Buffy). And the show tried to have a positive story/episode with a trans character (with, once again, this stuff was huge for the time... There were some definite misses there, but they at least tried). And disabled representation on this show! And the disabled person eventually winning the heart of the superhero girl!

#dark angel #James cameron's dark angel #dark angel season one #season one #dark angel pilot #pilot #there's also a gay character in an episode of s2 and a bi one. but I think she's sadly offscreen #and sadly the gay character only exists in a dream episode of s2 but shh

4 notes · View notes

missdaviswrites · 5 years

Text

“Write for yourself” and other well-meaning(?) but misinterpreted advice

Because I don't know when to shut up I'm posting this comment from AO3 and my response to it. Hi person who wrote it and follows me on Tumblr! Instead of sending me anon messages about this, you should probably just unfollow me now!

I’m bolding the parts that I think are relevant to all writers and not just about my specific story. (Which you can find here with this link since I am obviously a person who will do anything for readers including, you know, write a story and want people to read it.)

reader01 on Chapter 7 Fri 10 May 2019 01:38PM EDT

Wait, did you write this fic just because you felt like people reacted well to one thing from Breakable? I know writing's hard, but it sounds like you're not enjoying it, which makes sense if you're not writing it for yourself but for other people, and only looking for comments/kudos/hits. I say this because I saw your post on tumblr about how you just posted a new chapter and it wasn't getting any feedback. Why not write a story for you? For, you know, fun?

My reply:

Okay, wow. First of all, I do write fic for an audience, after spending many years trying to write original stuff and failing to finish anything. The only way I can motivate myself to finish is if I know people are waiting for it. "Write for yourself" is common advice, but not the whole story. Yes, write the thing you yourself would want to read. But why would I write a whole story for myself? A ficlet of 500 words takes a few hours. A chapter takes minimum a week, probably 2 or more. A whole novel-length fic takes a year or more. Why would I spend all that time writing if it was just for me, when I could just tell myself the story *in my head* without having to do the work of writing it down and editing and polishing it, which is normally about 8 stages of editing for me? Why would I do that for myself only? That's not "fun." Writing has some fun moments, when I'm in the groove and the perfect phrase comes out, but overall it's not a fun hobby. It's not even a hobby, most of the time. It's a compulsion and when I'm in periods of my life where I'm not writing, I feel less complete, even if everything else in my life is going well.

Anyway, you are mistaken about the genesis of this particular story. The very first thing I wanted to write when I found Sherlock fic was Breakable, because I really wanted a hurt/comfort story where John was the one injured, to see how Sherlock would react, and I wanted the injury to be permanent, because I didn't see that often and I thought it more realistic than being cured by the end of every story, like most that I read. I read a lot of stories where one character was blind or deaf, but not many with mobility issues, so I settled on the set-up of Breakable, with John being permanently paralyzed and Sherlock blaming himself and the two of them taking 120K words to get to a good place together again. And I loved that story, and I still do. I love the characters and even though I don't think they are too different from canon John and Sherlock, they still hold a very special and unique spot in my heart. So I really, really like it when other people read this series and enjoy it. I get to share my love for the characters and universe with other people. "Write for yourself"--nope. I write to share my love.

So after I finished writing this story that I love, I didn't think I'd ever write a sequel, because I couldn't imagine what it would be about. I knew I wasn't going to write a fic where John gets cured, and I didn't think I had anything else to say that would be enough for a longer fic. I wrote some ficlets with the characters, and that was fun (for the sense of fun as described above—I like the end product, the process is pretty terrible). Then I had an idea about Moriarty. I'd meant to mention him in Breakable, but he never made it in. My idea was that he had died as in canon, and Sherlock had nightmares where he was taunting him about having broken John. But it just never fit into the story as I wrote it. But a couple years after I was done with Breakable, I had another idea. If John and Sherlock were together from the beginning as they were in this universe, then most likely Reichenbach never happened. Maybe Mycroft kept Moriarty locked up when he first had him in for questioning, instead of letting him go like he does on the show. But if Moriarty learned Sherlock married John, what would he do? Flip out and escape from prison so he could torment them, obviously. So there was the idea for this fic.

BUT. It wasn't enough. This is where your mistaken assumption comes in. When I wrote Breakable, I put all the stuff with Sherlock's mental health in it without thinking about it too much—it just seemed to be what the story required. But readers really reacted to it, which made me realize it was an important aspect that lots of people (myself included) could relate to. So now, 2 years later, I saw a solution. The plot with Moriarty was fine, but it wasn't very much like Breakable, in that what I enjoyed about the original was the internal plot—how John and Sherlock's relationship both changed and didn't change, and how we saw Sherlock's internal thoughts and emotions. But the stuff with Moriarty was external, and writing that would have a completely different feel and tone from Breakable. I love the feel of Breakable, and I'm not much interested in external plot or cases in general. But with not wanting to pursue anything further with John's injury, and Sherlock and John settled pretty firmly in their relationship by the end, I didn't know how to recreate that feeling, which was, to me, essential if I wanted to write a long sequel. Sherlock's mental health offered me a way to keep that feeling and tone. I knew about the study on dementia and anticholinergics, which had come out while I was writing Breakable. I thought Sherlock would definitely have strong opinions on it, given that he is taking one of the drugs in the study. So there was my plot—external incidents with Moriarty, plus an internal side for Sherlock in regard to his mental health. (Of course in the 2+ years I have been working on this, a lot more stuff has also made its way into the fic.) But I certainly didn't think, "Hey, I'm going to write this story about this because people will want to read about this one specific thing and so I will have an audience." Yes, I want an audience. Yes, I go through the cumbersome process of writing and editing and posting so other people can read it. But the story itself is the one I want to tell. If I wanted to write something designed to pull in readers, I'd be writing fic about how Mary was evil and the baby was fake and John never really hit Sherlock and everyone is soft and smol and no one ever does anything wrong. I write what I want to read. And then I offer it to others, and hope they like it, too.

And telling a writer to stop writing a story is more than a bit not good, even if you think you are doing them a favor. It's much like telling them they wrote a chapter wrong and out of character, which is not a very good thing to do. Would I stop writing something because of poor reader response? Probably not, because I know some people are enjoying it and don't want to let them down. But there are many, many abandoned fics where a writer stopped because of a hurtful comment, which is what triggered my complaining in the first place. I think you are not the same person who made that comment, but I can't say for sure since you posted your comment anonymously. But I suggest if you don't enjoy reading this because you think it's somehow lessened by being a product written for an audience, you stop reading it and maybe don't follow me on Tumblr anymore. I'm not a person telling myself stories as I fall asleep at night. I'm a fic writer posting my fic to share it with the world.

#fic writer problems #writing advice #ao3 comments #writing #writer problems #seriously i love this story but everyone please stop leaving negative comments just keep it to yourself #not sure what you're hoping to gain unless you really do want me to stop posting it #which i'm not about to do so screw you

19 notes · View notes

xaz-fr · 5 years

Photo

I will add links when I get access to a computer because mobile Tumblr hates letting you easily edit text lols. On this hell site? Very likely. But everything is in the #zs tag on my blog at the least until then.

Set in a fantasy world of the semi socialist society Fey Alliance with magic, dick head dragon riders, benevolent necromancers, and even bigger dick head gods of mischief. The Zealous Servant is the story about a guy named Spayar who, has to keep his crown prince of a bff from being murdered by his entire family by murdering them first. But Spayar just wants to take a nap and find a cute boy to kiss and not have to worry about his corpse potentially being dragged through the street after a war. Better win that shit then.

I will only ping this particular list once and if you want to be pinged like or reblog this post. In the wake of Tumblr going tits up its even more important to reblog works that you like. So please consider doing so.

@girllikewisdom @enjoythewolfs @asnakewithwingsisadragon @fyreeprince @ispyatobert @frxemriss @madamecoyote @leprechaunsean @xangelstearsx @golden-lionsnake @deadpool-scar-bro @starry-ampelope @kami-mint

DiSol is a good boy who really doesn't deserve the shit I eventually do to him lol. Also gods I love Tassa so much she's great and I'm glad she's got a bigger role in the rewrite :D

Spayar knew something was in his room as soon as he opened the door. It wasn't a feeling that something bad was going to happen, just that something was out of place. There were no candles or lamps lit and the shutters were drawn closed against the nearly constant autumn rain in Assarus so it was difficult to see but he was a mage and a warrior and knew when things were off. Something felt off now and the part of Spayar that wasn't that brave at all wanted to just step back and head back downstairs and get his dad to deal with it like he had when he was nine and made him check under the bed for mud rats- a mythical rat creature with golden eyes and slimy brown fur that crawled into your mouth at night to suffocate you. He couldn't though because he was nineteen and a grown ass man and fully capable. He hated being an adult.

He stepped into his room and kept his power close. Nothing happened. He looked around, squinting into the shadows but still saw nothing. He waited a moment before he was satisfied he was just being paranoid. He went over to one of the lamps on his dresser and turned it back up to illuminate the room when he felt something behind him.

Spayar didn't have time to react, "You're home!" a high pitched voice cried, nearly right in Spayar's ear and he flinched as he was tackled, first by one body, then by a second, and finally a third and he couldn't remain standing and they all fell to the floor in a heap.

"Ahg!" Spayar yelled and found his siblings crawling all over him and realized what had happened. They'd been waiting for him up here when they probably saw him in the shed checking in on his horse and then saying hello to their mother. "Get off!" he howled and his three siblings laughed and did no such thing, clinging to his neck and waist. "Mom!" he yelled.

"What?" she called from downstairs.

"Help!"

His siblings giggled as he struggled to sit up and he heard his mother coming up the stairs. A moment later she arrived in the doorway and laughed at what she saw, Calli, Anora and Duren all piled up on top of Spayar in the most uncomfortable position. "What are you three doing?" she asked them, a smile on her face, and put her hands on her hips.

"Spayar's home mama," Anora said cheerfully, she had her arms around Spayar's neck, head under his chin.

"Yes I can see that," Relora said with a smile, amused by her eldest son's predicament. "I think he'd like to be able to stand up though."

"I would, yes," Spayar gasped because Duren was laying on his stomach and for only eight Duren already had their father's thick frame and body and was heavy. His little siblings giggled but when Relora told them to get up they did. Duren and Calli helped to drag Spayar to his feet. He took stock of himself and made sure he wasn't hurt.

"You three let your brother have a moment, he just came back from the west," Relora said.

"Are you staying longer than last time Spayar?" Calli asked. Gods she looked even more grown up than when Spayar had seen her a few weeks ago. It might have been the clothes, which were fashionable and the way she wore her hair. Spayar could already foresee his father growling at all the suitors his little sister would have soon, especially with a brother like Spayar. At least if he stayed as important as he was. He may very well be dead in the next year.

"Something wrong sweetie?" his mom asked him. Thinking about the coup made his chest tight, made him stare death in the face. If Von was killed there was no way the Asuras would let him live. He was too close to Von, too loyal. He'd never bend on another Le'Acard. He was d'alaer. It would be Von, or no one.

"Yeah, sorry I was just thinking about something," he smiled a little. "And I will be staying until his royal highness comes back from his trip at the least.”

"Do you know how long that is?" she asked.

"No but hopefully longer," he shook his head, "though the rains will keep everyone inside for a while,” they always did at the start of fall when the Meltong Basin started its wet season which was its autumn, it petered off after Lugalsta in the beginning of Lun usually. "He's coming from the coast though so I should have plenty of time to slack off," he grinned.

"Yes," Duren looked up at Spayar in delight, "will you teach me how to ride Spayar?" he asked.

"Ride a horse?" Duren nodded eagerly. Spayar cocked his head at his brother. Common folk in Assarus didn't normally have horses, his family hadn't had one until Von had given Spayar his mare a few years ago. His father had built the shed next to the house for her when Spayar was home. "Why?"

"Because I want to," Duren said.

"Uh," he looked at his mother.

"He's been bothering your father about it," his mother said.

"He said if you said yes he'd give me time out of the forge to practice," Duren said seriously.

"If I have time," Spayar said and that seemed good enough for Duren. He announced he was going to tell their dad and wiggled through the door their mother was still standing in.

"C'mon you two, let your brother take a bath," Relora said and shepherded her daughters out of the bedroom, closing the door after them to give him some privacy.

Spayar sighed once he was gone and could finally put his things away. He turned on another one of the lamps as he pulled out his dirty laundry for cleaning and put his weapons and bag away. He didn't travel with much and was used to packing up and leaving quickly. He rolled his eyes at the thought of Von summoning him when they were younger to go hunting or to visit some friend of his outside of Assarus for a few days. He was taking off his leather jacket when he felt the wrongness again and stopped as he undid the first buckle near his throat and looked around his room again. Someone was still in here with him, not just his little sisters and brother.

"Who's there?" he asked, there was no answer, "I know you're there; show yourself I don't have time for games." He honestly wasn't expecting anyone, but giving voice to his paranoia made him feel better. So when a piece of shadow broke off from one of the high corners of his ceiling and fell to the floor with a soft thud Spayar froze and went cold.

Spayar swallowed at what rose from the little puddle of darkness; a lonth. Lords of shadows they were all wizards or mages and lethal with any weapon including their hands. The Adoshade were one of the most southern houses in the Alliance before you hit the Kas’sca and incredibly small but powerful. This one in front of him wore his Shroud tight to his body, making his skin black and shiny like a bug's carapace, only his face and hair revealed. He was older than Spayar by only perhaps three years with nearly ruddy skin with black eyes and hair and looked like a Black Foot though removed some generations from the original people who lived within the lands of the LoHanJo'in province.

"Are you Spayar Hillsman junior?" the lonth asked, despite being from the coast like Peonia and the Garden which had similar accents that were quick, rolling and beautiful the Shade had a starkly different one that made them sound sort of slow. The Black Foot language was very meandering and since the Shade had come from the Black Foot their accent mimicked that.

"I am, who are you?” Spayar said.

"My name is DiSol Adoshade," they bowed a little to him, "Second son of LouSai, Shadow Lord." That made Spayar uneasy.

"What can I do for you DiSol?" Spayar asked keeping as calm as possible. Von said that the Adoshade had been quiet lately and killed anyone who came into their province, or at least any spies never returned. But it was the Adoshade, the Adoshade did not allow survivors to those they considered traitors.

"You are the d'alaer of Vondugard Le'Acard are you not?" he asked.

"I am."

"A worthy thing to give your life for then," and Spayar grabbed his power in case DiSol attacked him. DiSol didn't move towards him and Spayar realized that if DiSol had wanted to kill him he could have done it already or if he wanted to know Spayar wouldn't be able to stop him, lonths never let a target live.

"What do you want?"

“We need help and the Shadow Lord is dying,” he said.

"Excuse me?" dropping his power in pure shock. The Shadow Lord was dying?

"Virilia," the Asuras, "has sent my father threats if he does not cooperate. I'm sure you've heard we have closed the borders of our province to outsiders," Spayar nodded, "my father is very sick and has put my older brother in charge of defending DisAdo and keeping the house safe." Spayar knew DiSol's older brother, CoLan, nearly everyone in the Alliance knew him, they called him the Dawn Demon and he was a monster, the strongest lonth there had ever been. Ruthless and cunning without a good thing about him he was said to have no conscious and did his duty for the pleasure of the kill. "My brother is not a good leader," DiSol said and his Shroud retreated back from his body like seeping water revealing his gray mottled clothing, his Shroud becoming a cape behind him.

"I don't see why you need me."

"My brother has been killing Virilia's spies when they come and see what is going on in LoHanJo'in as well as anyone else who crosses from the Relua province into ours. I managed to convince him to let normal people to pass through unscathed but he doesn't like it. As I said, Virilia is sending my father threats, my brother sees them instead because he is acting Shadow Lord. He has gone into the Boggarts to find Black Foot to raise an army." Spayar paled, another house who wanted to raise an army. Black Foot used a type of magic that robbed people of their free will, they were puppet masters and if you had a band of Black Foot shamen in your army you could make the enemy dance for you. At least those were the stories. He hadn’t heard of an actual puppeteer in decades. "Virilia said that if we do not bend by the spring she will send an Arm to wipe us out and remind us that the Le'Acard rule the south, not the Adoshade and we will be an example to all the other houses."

"CoLan is gone now?" DiSol nodded, "Who is running DisAdo now?"

"With my brother gone, I am. My father sent me here to beg," he'd never heard of a lonth begging before. "My father says that a Le'Acard who managed to find themselves a d'alaer were good, better than most. The other princes or princesses couldn't help us, they wouldn't be able to move quickly enough. But His Highness Vondugard-" he seemed lost for words for a moment. "CoLan will be gone until spring, until then I am running DisAdo.”

"Vondugard has till then to move," Spayar said softly.

DiSol nodded, "When my brother returns he will set his army at the border of LoHanJo'in and wait for Virilia to move against him. If he does we will lose. We may win the battle but we will be crippled. Our harvests have been horrible this year, our resources will be tight on our people as it is, let alone needing to feed and supply my brother’s army. A small army of lonths can hold back one branch of the Alliance army but the Alliance is a bottomless well of people. Virilia will just find more people, send the other Arms. We will be crushed."

"I understand," Spayar said, nodding, thinking quickly. This was a lot to take in. He wasn't aware the situation with the Adoshade was quite so dire. And the bad harvests weren’t just effecting the central Alliance. Even somewhere as far away as LoHanJo’in was suffering, like a malevolent hand of a god was pressed across the land. He needed to find out what other provinces would also suffer a food shortage this year once the harvest was brought in. One thing at a time though. He needed to focus on DiSol and making sure he could handle what was needed there. "Can you promise Vondugard lonths when it is time?"

"I will give you as many as you want. The Shade need a new Asuras. We will not exist past the spring if Virilia remains where she is."

"Why didn't you just go to Vondugard himself with this?"

“Spies follow him everywhere. I am good, but I'm not invisible. And we know you have his ear. We know you will speak for him." Spayar came up short on that. He did? Since when? "Do we have his Highness' help?"

"Yes," Spayar said, "You do.” If they were going to die in the Conflict might as well try to come out on top first. “We will move as soon as we can. Try to stall your brother, the Asuras' furies are short lived she may not send an army to you. But if what you're telling me comes to pass you're saying we have till the end of winter to prepare," DiSol nodded. "What about your father?"

"He's sick."

"With what?"

"We don't know, and we don't know if he'll get better soon. It may be a long illness," DiSol frowned. "He sees the error of putting my brother in command, but he's too sick for his orders to remove CoLan to be taken seriously. My brother just says our father is sick and doesn't know what he's saying."

"He's really a demon," Spayar said.

DiSol smiled a little, fractured, smile, "It's why they call him the Dawn Demon," he said.

"Return to DisAdo and tell your father Vondugard will help you. I also want to send a healer with you to look at your father."

"We have some of the best-

"It wasn't a request," Spayar said, "I know if my father was sick I'd want all the help I could get."

DiSol looked up at Spayar with grateful eyes, he bowed a little, "Thank you Hillsman," he said.

"Also tell your father that when he's better he must ensure that your brother can never take the Seat of Shadows," Spayar said. "I don't care how but the Dawn Demon is too volatile to be Shadow Lord."

"I agree," DiSol said.

"That is the price for the prince's help, that his eldest son can never become Shadow Lord."

"A price he will be willing to pay," DiSol said.

"Give me a day to find my healer friend, she will go with you back to DisAdo and see to your father."

"You're too kind. I will give you to the ninth morning bell tomorrow," DiSol said and Spayar nodded. "Thank you Hillsman," he said again.

"Make sure the Shade are ready to move in the spring."

"We will be, I promise," and his Shroud once again wrapped around his body, turning him into a black insect and then it covered his face, only his black eyes visible. He bowed to Spayar and then went to the window and eased the shutters open. DiSol climbed onto the sill and instead of dropping like Spayar expected DiSol stood up and climbed onto the roof, a black tendril of his Shroud snaking down and closing the shutters, locking them behind him. Spayar shuttered.

He stood there a few moments, looking at the shutters before everything seemed accelerated. He needed to get another letter out to Galinsum to Sinso that whatever progress he'd made on those grenados needed to happen faster. There was an accelerated time table. He jotted it down, folded it and shoved it into an envelope to take to the post office. This needed wyrm postage. It needed to get to Galinsum now.

And he had to go see Mali, convince her to leave with DiSol and make the Shadow Lord well. And this was on top of all the other things he needed to get done in the time between Von returning from the gut, hopefully with good news about X’vazior at the least and hopefully others as well. What he needed was for Tassa to be home. He needed her.

He sealed the envelope with his personal mark and then spelled it so that if anyone but the intended recipient opened it it would burst into flames. He added an extra weave under that one so that if someone touched the top weave to investigate it that weave would trigger anyway. He rebuckled his leather jacket and grabbing the letter went back downstairs.

"Spayar where are you going?" his mother called as he grabbed his hat from the rack by the door

"Post office, then to see a friend, be right back," Spayar said, tucking the letter inside his jacket's breast pocket.

“Will you be back for dinner?”

“Yes,” Spayar said, looking at her through the window in the wall between the kitchen and the dining room. He could smell the wonderful food she was preparing.

"Is everything all right?" she asked, standing a bit more in view, the ceremonial scars on her forehead nearly touching from her furrowed brown.

He looked at her and frowned. He'd just cut his own life nearly in half with his agreement to help the Adohade. Before he'd had a year till the coup. With his declaration to help the Adohade he'd shortened it to just a few months. "No," he said and then turned and walked out the side door. Outside it was raining and Spayar put his wide, waterproof, hat on and walked off into the storm.

—

The rain during the fall was nearly constant in the Meltong Basin, and of course that was exactly where the winter capital was located, at the center of the Alliance. Spayar was watching the rain outside and people rush around under the awnings lining the sidewalks, or hunched over on horses or buggies. In the house it was warm and dry.

Mali was in the kitchen with his mother and he could hear the two of them talking, but wasn’t paying attention to their words. The sun had risen two bells ago but the sunlight was wane, wet, and gray. He was waiting for the ninth morning bell when DiSol would show himself and he and Mali would return to the LoHanJo'in province and DisAdo

He looked over when someone sat next to him, it was Calli. His perfect, proper, sixteen year old sister with more sense in her head than just about anyone Spayar knew. She was wearing a morning gown that came to her knees and had little yellow horses embroidered on it. She looked like she'd just woken up but yet was alert and keen. "Good morning," he said.

"Morning," she yawned a little, putting her hand over her mouth. "You're up early. Usually when his highness is away you sleep in."

"Busy," Spayar said, leaning against the arm of the chair. "Can't sleep now," literally. He'd tossed and turned all night and had dreams of a red eyed necromancer standing over his grave reading from the Red Book to summon a necrell that would take his soul to the Shadowed Lands. He hadn't been able to sleep after that nightmare.

"Busy with what?"

"It doesn't matter to you," he waved her inquiry away.

"Why, cause I'm a girl?" she asked.

He looked at her and laughed in her face, "Calli, I would never be so stupid as to keep a matter away from someone for as trivial a thing as gender. It doesn't matter to you because it literally has no bearing on your life if you know, and is better if you didn't know anyway."

"Why?"

"Because your brother is doing a very bad thing," he said softly looking away.

"Which is?"

He gave her a look, "If you're lucky you won't ever know," he said and looked back out the window. He could see the big bell tower from here, through the rain, its face illuminated from the inside, and knew it was close to the ninth bell.

"Spayar," Calli asked after a few minutes. He 'hmm'd at her. "Will you introduce me to some nobles?"

"Why would you want to do that?" though he didn't look at her.

"Because I want an interesting, wealthy, husband," and Spayar looked at her so fast he nearly gave himself whiplash.

"What?" he squeaked.

"I said-

"I know what you said," he waved her words away impatiently. "Calli, you're sixteen, and a commoner. You aren't obligated to marry," he reminded her.

"I know, but I will marry someone, someday."

"And you're sure you'll have a husband?" he challenged.

Calli came up short, she hadn't thought of that. Her brother would never have a wife like Duren probably would. He would never have children either. She thought about the implications of her sexuality for a moment, mulled them over and then said, "Yes, I will have a husband. I like boys, you're a good role model for liking boys," she smiled at him and he smacked her knee playfully, making her giggle. "And I want a good one. A courageous, handsome, wealthy, noble, husband," she said.

"Heh, well I can tell you bidi, those types of men are few and far between. Also why would you want a noble?"

"Because I never want to worry if something happens to us," Calli said. "Mama is always worried about you and I'm old enough to realize that if something happened to you..." she bit her lips, "dooim might not get as much business." He knew what she was saying. If he died in a coup, fighting against someone who beat Von, he'd be a traitor, and his family would be cast in that shadow. No one would want what his father made.

"Nothing is going to happen to me," Spayar promised. "And you don't want a noble husband. Nobles are awful. Trust me, I know plenty."

"But what about you?"

"What about me?"

She blinked and knew she needed to proceed carefully. She licked her lips before saying, "Aren't you in love with a noble?"

"What? No,” he scoffed

"So you're not in love with the prince?" and Spayar's face went slack and he flushed brilliantly, the color probably showing a bit on his dark skin. She smiled a little, "You have no room to talk about wanting a noble husband," she said.

He scowled at her, "It is a completely different situation. Vondugard is my best friend and my prince, of course I love him."

"You know what I mean."

"You're completely delusional," he waved her off. "And you don't want a stupid, prideful, noble for a husband. You're sixteen, and too young and good for most of them."

"I won't know unless I meet them though will I?" she asked.

"No," he said sternly.

"At least let me come to her highness' Talalsalla's naming day party this year," she begged. “Please,” she put both hands over her heart in a begging fashion. “I promise I’ll be good.”

He huffed through his nose and puffed his cheeks out a bit. She gave him her best doe eyes. "Fine," he grunted and rolled his eyes a bit.

She got out of the chair and hugged him tightly, "Thank you. Thank you,” and then kissed him on both cheeks and between the eyes.

"Yeah yeah," and the clock started to ring. Nine bells. "Now I need to go do stuff," he pushed her off gently and stood. "Mali," he called and went to the kitchen. His mother and Mali were in there standing at the kitchen table. Relora was packing Mali a bag of food while Mali tried to say she didn't need it but Relora just shushed her and packed it anyway. Spayar's eyes went to the window as the shutter eased itself open and a dark, man shaped, mass slipped into the kitchen. If Spayar hadn't been looking at the window he'd have missed it and it would be as if DiSol had just appeared.

"Having fun?" Spayar asked them.

"Your mother is too kind," Mali said, slightly beside herself.

"Nonsense. We're having a bad harvest this year and I doubt you'll be able to get as good of food as this elsewhere,” Relora said kindly. “And Dirinnan food is made to put meat on those bones,” and she patted Mali’s belly with all the gentle love a mother could muster.

“Relora-

“I insist,” Relora said firmly.

Mali sighed a bit theatrically. “Fine. Is he here?" Mali asked turning to Spayar. Spayar had told her why she was going to LoHanJo'in and why it was important she make LouSai well as soon as possible. She'd been very against it at first but like always he convinced her. It wasn't good having a soft heart around Spayar, he'd abuse if for all he could and despite her hard exterior Mali had a very soft heart.

"I am," and Mali and Relora both turned when DiSol spoke, standing behind them. Thankfully he wasn't wearing his Shroud over him, so he looked rather normal. "This is the healer you spoke of?" he asked Spayar, looking at Mali.

"Yes, this is Mali Thralluk," he said, "Mali, this is DiSol Adoshade."

"Never met a lonth before," she looked him up and down, "I expected them to be taller." DiSol frowned at her but didn't take the bait. Mali turned back to Relora, "Thank you so much Relora, you're too good to me."

"Of course dear. Any friend of Spayar's is always welcome at our home and table."

“We should leave, before the rain gets worse,” DiSol said emotionlessly.

”Right, c’mon,” he nodded to Mali and DiSol and they followed him out of the kitchen. Despite just being out in the rain DiSol wasn't wet so he didn't have to worry about the lonth tracking water into the house. They left the house and stood under the second story overhang that looked out onto the side yard. While he'd been gone his mother had picked some of the produce and that made him nervous. Usually she only picked the produce when there was a fear of it wilting or being washed away by the rains. She'd picked it early. "Mali is aware of the situation," he told DiSol, who nodded, "while she's there she'll be acting as Vondugard's voice."

"Does she have the same authority as you?" DiSol asked.

Mali and Spayar looked at one another. Neither of them kidded themselves in who was higher, who held more weight and authority, "No," he said. "But if she promises something for Vondugard it's likely to be carried out," he gave Mali a look to make sure she knew not to fuck it up. He trusted her though, After Tassa and Von Mali was one of his oldest friends, even if they hadn’t started on perhaps the most honest of terms. “She knows what to do, do you?"

"When we return to LoHanJo'in I'll keep my brother occupied and away from DisAdo for as long as I can."

"I'll send the summons for aid through Mali. You march on her say," DiSol looked at her and then nodded slowly. "Good," Spayar wracked his brain, what else could he do? Not much. He'd done everything he could really. "Safe journey," he kissed Mali on her cheeks and between her eyes, "Make the Shadow Lord well," he ordered.

"He'll be skipping through fields of flowers in no time," she promised him with a smile.

"I'll hold you to that.”

"Let's go," DiSol said seriously, "I've already been away from LoHanJo'in long enough. I need to get back."

"Goodbye Spayar," Mali said.

"Keep her safe," Spayar said sternly as he saw the two to the high walled fence, rain splattering across Spayar’s head. Mali's horse was in the shed with his own mare and she went to get it.

"You have my word," DiSol said, "no harm will come to her."

"I can take care of myself," Mali said, “I did my time, remember?” she gave him a look.

"Just let me worry a little," Spayar half pleaded.

She grinned, "We'll see you in spring," and DiSol drew his Shroud over his body and face as Mali put on her wide hat, mounted her horse and entered the rain again trotting out to the road, her horse seemed miserable. She waved and then turned the corner onto the road and was out of sight. A half moment later Spayar saw a black shadow streak after her. Spayar frowned after them. There was nothing he could do now. He'd done all he could. He closed the door and went back inside.

—

It was drizzling miserably while Spayar walked down the road bundled against the wet, his wide hat casting rain over his shoulder in a sick dribble. It never got cold in Assarus but it did get chilly and fall had come with a vengeance, dumping feet of rain in short order with the promise of more. It was expected in Assarus even this early in the fall. Asurala had started now and they had five weeks of miserable rain until it petered out in Neyjarra and finally stopped in Lun save for the normal rain storm until spring started and the Meltong flooded from the snow out west in the Spine melting.

He was in the middle of Uptown close to the mouth of the lake that the city surrounded. Tassa’s apartment was around here. Her father had bought it for her. Part to give her independence and part to get her to stop having sex all over his house. Spayar liked Kenna, he was nice, if having the personality of a mouse. He had always struggled to keep Tassa in line. Spayar didn't know where Tassa got it.

He was grateful to get out of the drizzle as he stepped into the foyer of a nice building. It was warm and dry inside with a guard desk who's main duty was to protect the mail slots along the front of the desk, keep any large packages, and call the actual guards should there be any need. Spayar shook himself just a bit on the mat inside the door to get the worst of the water off before stepping into the shiny wooden floors.

“Hello, can I help you?” the desk guard asked.

“Is Tassa Peony home?” he asked.

“I didn't see her leave this morning and the night guard didn't give any indication she hadn't been in all night.”

“Great,” Spayar said and signed his name on the guestbook. “I’m a friend,” he added.

“The young miss has lots of those,” the guard eyed him.

“No like actually,” Spayar chuckled and left the desk without saying much else.

Tassa had a ground floor apartment with a front porch onto the courtyard the building surrounded. As he got near he passed through the gentle cobwebs of a magical weave Tassa had coccooned the entrance of her home in. She might have been the daughter of a noble but that didn't mean the guards wouldn't have a good reason to arrest her. A bored mind and quick hands tended to get that sort of negative attention that would warrant such a weave. Spayar just coated his fingers in magic and gently pushed aside the ornately constructed threads that looked a lot like a larger and more complex version of the one on the back of his bedroom door. He just didn't need them touching him. Had he not been looking through magic he wouldn't have even seen it much less felt it.

He knocked inside the pocket free of magic right against the door. He made sure to knock loudly. Tassa came to the door after a solid minute of him knocking wearing a shift that was barely hanging off one shoulder her hair more disrupted than simple bed head would do. “Spayar?” she squinted at him. “What are you doing here at this hour?”

He looked at the clock on the post in the center of the courtyard, “It’s chems, Tassa,” he said.

“What? Chems?” she grumbled a little, “I stayed up too late.”

“Yes. May I come in, we need to talk.”

“Sure. I'll make something,” she yawned and waved him in.

Tassa’s apartment was as though a storm had ripped through it. It was one bedroom and bath and a living room and things lay in disarray all over. Papers and dishes were arranged hazardously on flat surfaces, brushes and makeup products lay scattered across tables and the floor. The couch looked more like a bed and a large pipe was leaned up against the wall. Spayar didn't mention any of it and just joined Tassa in her tiny kitchen where she was carelessly etching a weave in the air with magic coated fingers. The heat ring started glowing almost instantly. She put a pot from above on it and fingers still coated in magic connected two pieces of a larger weave together that caused the sink faucet to open and water to pour directly from it into the pot. It would disintegrate over time to stop the pot from overflowing.

She slouched onto the table across from Spayar, pulling a slender leg up to rest on the seat of the chair, casually brushing her hair with her fingers with mixed success. “Have fun last night?” he asked her, smiling.

“You’re lucky you're so pretty,” she groaned and rubbed her face. “Me and the girls went out last night down to the Den, got into some trouble.”

“Nothing serious?”

“Not even,” she sighed, “just welcoming me home.” As she said that a man left her bedroom, looked at the two of them and hustled out. Another bustled out quickly after him.

“Fun huh?”

“Would have been more fun with you around,” she said and rubbed the top of his hand.

“You know I don't like white guys,” he said with a grin.

“Well, most white guys,” she said.

“I assure you I don't know what that means.”

She pulled her hand back, “So what's up?” she asked and looked at the last person to stumble out of her bedroom. This was a lady in much better condition than the two men. “You the last one, love?” Tassa called.

“Hmm? Oh, yeah I think so,” she grinned at Tassa. Spayar vaugely recognized her meaning it was a friend of Tassa’s who didn't run in their circle. “You’re buying next time,” she waved as she left.

“She seems nice.”

“Uhhhhg, she's so hot I hate herrrr,” Tassa groaned and leaned on one arm.

Spayar laughed. “Yeah I can relate,” he said with a grin. Tassa got up and took the boiling water off the heat rim, deactivating the weave with a crook of her finger and poured the water into two mugs. She scooped an herbal mixture into two tea balls and put them into the cups. From a cupboard she produced beet sugar cubes, stained slightly pink for effect, some strawberries and two day old bread that was partially eaten to go with the butter on the table.

“Chems,” she announced grandeously as she set the tea and food down between them.

“How gracious. Your father wouldn't even recognize you,” he said, not adding any sugar to his tea while Tassa added about six.

“Hardy har har,” she stirred her tea with a weave of magic that turned it into a mini maelstrom. “What are you doing here and not a more appropriate hour of the day?”

Spayar popped a strawberry into his mouth. “I heard the thief lord died.”

“Uhg, not this now,” she moved her hair in annoyance.

“You didn't mention it when I saw you.”

“I forgot and by the time I remembered I figured you'd know already,” she said and sipped her tea.

“What’s this Cross guy like?”

“Western fence who got a taste for the business way I heard it. Came from a city around Galinsum I think. Showed up in Assarus few months ago, killed Jackertty with their own knife. He doesn't like people.”

“You mean he doesn't like you.”

“He’s skittish around girls. Meet him and you'll see why- no. Spayar stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?” he asked, leaning on the table a bit, giving her his best innocent eyes.

“You don't want to meet Cross. He’s not like Jackertty.”

“I know.”

“He’s way more cut throat.”

“We’d get along then.”

“Spayar I am serious!”

“Me too. I can't have some unknown entity in my city. I use his hands as my eyes. Pays to visit the boss.”

“Spayar I don't-

He leaned across the table and put his hand on hers, “Tassura,” he said gently like the bastard he was. “I need your help.”

Spayar-

“Please, Tassura?” he kept his voice low and sweet. Only he and her father were allowed to call her Tassura, her real name. It was a soft and intimate familiarity that wasn't allowed by most Aldashi outside of family or their lovers. It was a weakness Tassa didn't let anyone have over her other than those few she loved. Spayar was a real wretch for using it now and he knew it.

“I— guess I could,” she said softly.

“Thank you,” he squeezed her wrist gently and let her go. “How was your trip back with Vondugard?” The prince wasn't back I'm the city yet. He'd taken a long route around and detoured down Maker’s End to the land around and past Gorum, see if any help could be drummed up there.

“He needed you,” she said.

“He sent me ahead-

“I meant in the past two years. You could have waited to serve time.”

“Again, also something I couldn't control,” Spayar said.

“He’s soft, Spayar. I worry.” Not about Von, Tassa was worried about Spayar. “X’vazior almost said no.”

“But did he?”

“No. I lied for him.”

Spayar sighed and rubbed his face, “He’s too nice is what you're telling me?”

“He cares too much to be an effective emperor,” she used the Aldashi word for it but Spayar knew it. Kenna called Verilia emperor when he was pissed at her, or when he spoke ill of the princes and princesses. Wasn't fully bilingual in any one Alliance tongue but Spayar knew enough in a lot of them to get by.

“He’s too nice,” Spayar groaned, still rubbing his face. “He’s always too nice.”

“If you don't want to get killed when Teldin finally attacks he needs to toughen up.”

“I know,” he put his hands down and sipped his tea. Tassa had two strawberries, the red juice staining her olive lips. “You’ll set something up with Cross for me?”

She sipped her tea. “ What do I get? You're a deal maker.”

“What do you want? And don't say sex you know I like girls even less than white boys.”

“Oh, I gave that up years ago,” she lied. Spayar knew she hated it was a lie too. “How about you owe me one?”

“An unspecified favor? Tassa you were hanging around the Peony too much,” he smirked.

“Is that a yes?”

“So long as it isn't sex, sure.”

“It isn't,” she rolled her eyes.

“Then yes. A favor. Just keep it of similar magnitude?”

“I will. Are you going to stay for the rest of chems?” she worried the point of a strawberry with her index finger distastedly.

“I guess. You made me tea and everything. It doesn't have anything in it does it?”

“Of course not,” she scoffed and popped the entire strawberry into her mouth. “You enjoy I'm going to get some real clothes on,” and she got up. Spayar privately rolled his eyes. Her shift was barely long enough to cover her buttocks in the back. He sipped his tea and buttered some bread.

Tassa ended up throwing a final, third, man out of her house while he got dressed. They cast a furtive look at Spayar as they scuttled away and he just smiled and waved. They grimaced and bolted, fearing him being her actual boyfriend. He just enjoyed the rest of the chems until Tassa came back out, brushing her hair with a wide toothed brush to get it under some control. “Want some help feeding the afternoon birds? You know they like me,” she leaned against his shoulder luxuriously.

“I’d be remiss to say no,” he said. She grabbed another strawberry and went to put on some shoes. Spayar crammed the last bit of buttered bread into his mouth and shot the rest of his tea before following her. “It’s still raining, bring an umbrella.”

“Who do you take me for Spayar?” she asked and selected one of her six umbrellas in the stand by the door. This one was wide and deeply curved, rain cloud gray on the outside with a red lace trim and an array of red hibiscus on the inside. It matched her wine bodice and scaldingly red leather breeches that clung to her legs and hips in a way that was meant to be distracting.

“Of course, I forgot to whom I spoke,” he teased and opened the door. “After you, my lady,” he swept his arm out teasingly.

“Oh thank you, my Lord. How gracious,” she said with an extra girlishly giggle and stepped out of her front door. The rain had intensified while he'd been inside. He put his hat on before stepping out and locking the door. Tassa waved a hand at the door, locking a weave across the front like a cage to prevent entry.

“Shall we, my lady?” he asked, offering her his arm.

“Oh my Lord,” she batted her lashes at him making him chuckle as she took his offered arm and they left the building complex through the front. Tassa opened her umbrella, sheilding them from unwelcoming eyes as they headed for one of the places Spayar went to to hear the news from his birds.

#Writeblr #writblr #Original fiction #Fantasy #original fantasy #Zs #Zealous servant

22 notes · View notes

millennial-star-gazer · 4 years

Text

The Draconic Demon Within: Chapter 4: A Demon’s All-Consuming Rage

The Draconic Demon Within

Genres: Romance, Friendship/Family, Drama/Angst, Hurt/ Comfort, & New Adult Fanfiction

Vera's April 2018 Prompts: Soul, Empyrean, Savage, Memory, Trust, Fear, Unstoppable , Resilient, Supernatural (Implied) Lost (Implied) and Loathing.

Nalu Lovefest 2017 Prompts: Dreams

Nalu Week 2019 Prompts (Implied:) Lost, Curse, Trial, Treasure, Chance and possibly Bare.

Pairing: Nalu/EndLu,( Natsu x Lucy/ E.N.D. x Lucy)

Rating: M for language, steamy and mature adult sexual content (all consensual) in these and future chapters. Reader Direction is advised.(You have been warned!)

Summary: Now faced with the reality of who he is truly is, the son of Igneel must contend with the new darker instincts of his new demonic identity- all while navigating through his ever-growing, intense feelings for a particular celestial wizard. Originally a Submission (semi -au) for Nalu lovefest 2017 (on my previous celestialgeekmage account and now an entry for nalu week 2019 with chapter 3. (Also was on my earliest previous accounts of teamedwardjace/Twishadowhunter in the past. Also part of Vera's April 2018 prompt challenge from fic-writers appreciation on cosmicdragonwizard).

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 4: A Demon's All- Consuming Rage

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Hey guys, it's your girl back again with another installment of TTDW! Fun fact: Being temporarily off work for a few weeks due to pandemic has provided some extra free time to edit and posta new chapter for this fic ( which is on account of the temporary closures of public institutions, and public spaces along with non-essential businesses/services in Ontario-the Canadian province I'm from). This isn't to suggest I'm not without fear or concern about the pandemic or potential effects on global infrastructure but at least I'm mostly coping as best as anyone can at this time. Hope you guys are all too. ( A bit more on this in the A/N at the end of this chapter .) Anyway, hope that this chapter and my other fanfics along with those from amazing writers can help you all while stuck at home. All right, that's pretty much my whole spiel for now. Without further ado, here's Chapter 4 of TTDW-Enjoy!

(Note: Scroll down past the read more button/cut for the designated legend menu and actual story content).

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Disclaimer: Fairytail does not belong to me, but to the most honourable Hiro-sensei instead, for whom without this work of love wouldn't be possible.

Read Previous Chapters of TDDW and on platforms here:

(Copy and paste the links into another window if need be)

A. Tumblr

Previous (Click Here:) (or here: https://millennial-star-gazer.tumblr.com/post/185917542578/the-draconic-demon-within-chapter-3)

Next (Coming Soon:)

B. Fanfiction (Click Here:) (or here: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13113898/1/The-Draconic-Demon-Within-Reupload-from-cosmicdragonwizardaccounts)

C. A03 (Click Here:) (or here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17365061/chapters/40861307)

2. Ongoing Master Post Of All My Writing (Click Here:) (or here: https://millennial-star-gazer.tumblr.com/post/179665258923/master-fic-rec-post)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Legend:

Italic: Song Lyrics/Quotes (or flashback dialogue)

Bold: First Person Thoughts

Bolded Italics: Empathized, stylized Word(s) or bloodthirsty fantasies

Bolded Italics (Within and Outside Bracket) including for author's side notes also known as (A/N:) within brackets (though none for side-notes in this chapter ).

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Your body is full of rage.

Every sinew. It is easy to read.

You speak volumes with a clenched fist."

( Paolo Bacigalupi: The Drowned Cities)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Seriously? Luce's alive?

That…. I can't...

A wave of overjoyed relief was washing over Natsu from the spectacular news about his best friend still breathing.

"Hear that Luce?!" He sobbed, not bothering to wipe the moisture from his eyes." You're alive and gonna be okay— Thank God! Really... don't ... know what I'd do without ya…," Scarlet-red eyes remained focused/trained on the face on the motionless angel in his arms.

"Pretty sure the guild and the rest of the people we know would be just as devastated if they lost such an incredible person and wizard . Glad you're okay either way though." Natsu's hands were stroking sweat-plastered strands of Lucy's hair back from her eyes with delicate care .

Really glad she's still in fact alive and kicking…

In that very moment , it was as if the world had fallen away; leaving just the two of them. Nothing else seemed to matter then . Not cold-blooded enemies in the room, or the recent battle just moments before; Not even E.n.d's unnerving metamorphosis. Just a dragon-demon and his most precious star with those subtle breaths, the visible rise and fall of her chest that somehow escaped any kind of major notice before.

Words can't even describe how relieved I am . Digits combed through Lucy's blonde tresses from crown to tip in a physical display of tender affection.

Hmm... Lucy's hair feels really nice. Natsu couldn't help but marvel at texture of her beneath his fingertips .Don't think I've ever stopped to fully appreciate it before .

"Gotta say that your hair feels really nice, Luce." Natsu voiced this innermost thoughts aloud; though his words were coming in soft. ."Smells real amazin' too."

Damn was the appealing fragrance of jasmine with a hint of cyclamen flooding his senses beyond intoxicating."like jasmine and that other flower we saw once— cyclamen, I think. . You've been using a new scented shampoo again, I see. Not that I'm complainin'."

"Psh—Listen to me" Natsu tacked on with a rueful chuckle that was still a bit thick from all that weeping before. " Gettin' all sentimental and crap. Hell... stripper would never even let me live it down if he heard . Still be damn proud of you though just like I am for how well you handled yourself in battle. Why don't we tell him all about it once you're awake and we're out of here?. Bet he'd like that . Till then, the two of us just need to sit tight and figure out our next move, okay?"

Wait ...

The fire demon's hands continued their fond movements- only for blood to freeze in his veins when noticing an unsightly contusion on Lucy's forehead; accented by a small gash just above her brow.

When did this happen? I swear those injuries hadn't there been seconds before .. .

Crimson eyes scanned his best friend's battered frame for further damage in alarm . My God... Natsu's breath caught in his throat at the sight of that line of discolorations on her legs . Not to mention all those scratches along with the small gash peeking out through the tattered remains of Lucy's Star dress .

"Oh Luce..." He sighed, remorseful voice breaking on her name. "Can see that you're in pretty rough shape right now. I'm so sorry. Honestly don't know how or why you had a delayed reaction to all the damage. But this wouldn't have happened if I only had grabbed you and run or got your spirits to transport you to their world, Hell— Maybe we could've both escaped and I could've helped kept you safe while figuring out this new demon form means for us together. Anyways, time to put pressure on your wound."

A hand tore a loose piece of fabric to apply pressure on the hemorrhaging wound. "See? You'll be okay . Gonnal get ya' all fixed up and good as new in no time ."

Damn Luce stills looks like an angel to me, Natsu mused in reverent admiration . Even with those injuries...

"Ooh- how cute!" Jackal's dervisie voice cut through the other demon’s reverie; whose arms automatically protectively tightened around Lucy's frame out of fierce instinct-automatic without a second though. Not to mention those two pair of eyes he could sense that set him on edge."

"Aw Damn." Jackal broke in again with a gleeful taunt that bordered on sadistic."That poor,pretty girl of you is covered in ugly bruises and scratches, Dragneel."

That little ...

Natsu's head automatically snapped around to meet Jackal with a baleful snarl. Damn was that all that black rage roaring in his veins all too consuming.

"There's that growling again" Jackal cackled, clearly unfazed at by the alpha demon's bared canines ." Bared fangs and what not. Such a shame what happened to Blondie here , or is it? You really did a number on her, huh Tempester?"

"Huh," Tempester mused, bland disinterest colouring his tone."it seems I did . Kind of forgot that my curses can sometimes have o delayed side effects on people . Who knows? That pathetic wrench might even have internal bleeding.

"You goddamned bastard!" The flame- eater raged, fury boiling over. "Lucy ain't pathetic or some kind of toy to play with ... God.. All those injuries… are you fault and . I swear that You're both gonna pay for what you did to her!"

"Oh-You think so?" Jackal scoffed with let out another infantilizing laugh —beyond infuriating .

"Someone's rattled." Tempster pointed out, listless eyes trained on the stone-brick wall ahead. "Unfortunate."

"You don't say," Jackal deadpanned, with a disdainful roll of the eyes ."But Seriously Though , E.N.D, do you even hear yourself? .I mean getting all riled up over a human girl in that way —talk about pathetic. Sure said girl is extremely beautiful with a killer bod and feisty personality to boot—I'll give you that. But is she worth losing your cool over or fraternizing with? I don't think so and neither should you . God knows all that pent up rage and aggression would be far more suited for another cause. Not to mention, you'd better off without her life tainting your judgement and hindering your full potential as the most powerful of all etherious. So let's resolve this, shall we? Hand over the celestial wizard and I'll gladly dispose of her for you . Sound good?"

" 'Sound good?'Sound Good?!’ Are you kidding me?"!

Good God did those last words only serve to incense the snarling dragon further.

" There's no way in hell I'm gonna give Lucy up or let either of you touch her!"

"Come on Dragneel-be reasonable."

"No-rot in hell!"

"Oh honestly E.N.D.-"

"My name is Natsu!"

"Well okay then, Natsu— Just calm down ." Jackal's couldn't seem to resist reprimanding the fire demon; as if he were some errant child pitching a fit ."You're being ridiculous. Anyways, tell you what. I promise to make her death as qui-"

"Shut up!"

" Quick and mostly painless..."

"I said shut up!" En.d's voice rose to an ear-splitting roar that could've struck terror into the hearts of the gods themselves. "Try anything on her and I swear I'll kill you!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To Be Continued

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Well that's Chapter 4 folks- hope you enjoyed! Now a bit more about the pandemic situation in Ontario . Like many other provinces and countries around the world,, the government of Ontario has opted to shut down/ temporarily close non-essential services, businesses, public spaces and institutions to help curb the spread of the virus for a few weeks (or more) before spring break. Such institutions include all schools and childcare centres/ services in those settings which applies to the childcare company I'm currently employed with. You know on account of most of their centres and programs being based in public schools. (Independently-run Daycares also remain closed. And yes i'm a ECE by trade for any who were wondering or didn't already). Schools and child cares were tentatively scheduled to reopen after April 5th; though the closures have been extended for another month (according to Doug Ford (the premier/leader of Ontario). Not ideal but at least it gives me some extra time for me to work on things alongside my writing(i.e editing upcoming chapters for fics and WIPS). All right folks, that's all I have to say on that subject.

As usual, please feel free to let me know what you think by leaving a comment/review , through a reblog or by any other means. Be sure to check out the rest of my writing while staying tuned for future updates of my fics and new projects along the way! (Links above, in the navigation and in bio If on tumblr . Also on fanfiction.) Anyway, take care and stay safe! Ta ta for now!

#fairytail #ft fanfics #nalu #endlu #natsu x lucy #natsu dragneel #etherious natsu dragneel #lucy heartfilia #future lucy dragneel #the draconic demon within #my writing #millennial stargazer writes #millennial star gazer #please reblog

45 notes · View notes