#not tagging because I don't want it to be mistaken for a hate post

[waynewifey]

aftermath — b.w

part one - ‘dear mr. wayne’

part two - ‘aftermath’

part three. - ‘aporia’

summary: you escaped that warehouse, but part of you died in there. now, your husband helps you grief your own loss while trying to not murder your relationship.

pairing: bruce wayne/battinson x reader

genre: drama & angst romance

warnings: mentions of sex and alcohol; mentions of ptsd, anxiety and it’s symptoms; hospital setting; dubious science; dubious law enforcement

word count: 2.9k

A/N: thank you for all the positive feedback on part 1! there will be a part three because this post would get too long, so let me know if you’ll like to be tagged in that. my biggest challenge writing this was trying to give bruce the start of a redemption arc, please tell me if you think it worked. comments and constructive criticism is appreciated!

gotham, USA.

the continuous beeping sound wakes you up.

your eyes are still closed, blocking the intense light over your head. your senses are taken by the familiar scent: sandalwood, cinnamon and lemongrass soap. it almost feels like you're home.

but your feet are senseless from the cold and the bedsheets faintly smell like chlorine. there's a pinching ache in your arm and the scenario is complete. oh how you hate hospitals.

"how are you feeling?" back at home, bruce had learned the difference in your breathing as you woke up, which made pretending to sleep hard enough for you to give up. you open your eyes, finding yourself in a luxurious room. if it wasn't for the IV on your left side, it could easily be mistaken for a five star hotel.

bruce sat at a large light green armchair, about four feet from your left hand. you couldn't tell by his voice, but he looked exhausted. for once, he's wearing sweatpants. the puffy face and swollen eyes show he hasn't had much sleep. you, on the other hand, feel like you've slept for a thousand years.

"i have no idea. what's up with me?" his sigh has your heart racing and the fear of being a liability falls over you. a comforting hand lays on yours, his warms fingers grounding you to remember the last time you were awake. it felt like a nightmare and you desperately hoped it was. instead, the pain comes in flashes, the image of your husband being shot and the feeling of hitting ice cold water do too. it's all just so horrible you wish it wasn't real.

"they told me you were going to be fine, but i don't know." bruce feels as if a burden has come off his chest finally seeing you move. the last couple of days have been a torture of expectation and blame for him. "the doctor had you in an induced coma. you had a concussion on the river. your stomach was stitched up. he said..." he stops for a moment, this is obviously way too hard for him to go through again. bruce hasn't left the room ever since he was discharged. everyday, for two weeks, he kept overthinking the night before and the day during. if he had stayed up and talked about your relationship, you wouldn't be in that bed. if he looked for you in the morning, if he noticed your absence at work, if he hadn't put his phone on silent mode... there were a million of things that he could've done different so the most important person in his world wouldn't have gone through all of that. "he said the ptsd would worsen your recovery. this morning the nurses told me you were better, so i have to believe them. that's my only hope."

you need a moment to take in the words, finally deciding that you didn't want to discuss your health. there were way better people to pay attention to that in the building and it would only make you anxious. you can't help but stare at his eyes, your mind bringing up the image of your husband choking the man that kept you hostage.

"you almost killed him." the tone is of disapproval, bruce couldn't be any more confused. he frowns. bile arises from his stomach leaving a acid taste to his mouth.

"i would've, of course i would. y/n, you had no idea what i would do for you. i would fight the devil himself if it meant keeping you safe. that's why i do what i do. the batman, the politics, it's all for you. if i can make this world 1% better for you, for our children, to live on, it's worth it." his gulp is loud, adam's apple going up and down, showing how dry his throat was. the following words have his voice shaking, almost disappearing. "but fate keeps telling me that i'm not enough. no matter what i do, you keep getting hurt and i just-" bruce stares the floor. that's something he always did when saying harsh things, avoiding eye contact and not letting tears slip away. however, this time it doesn't work at all. he can hear his heart tearing up with every syllable, the physical pain striking his chest. he wants to beg you to forgive him, but there is a noble thing to do. his words are cut off by the creaking of the door and the doctor's footsteps. he's smiling, like this isn't hell. bruce shrinks into the couch, making himself ignorable.

"so... i have good news!" the blonde says, clipboard in hand. "we need to run some other tests and an x-ray, but you seem to be healing pretty well. we'll hold you in for a couple of days just to make sure there aren't any complications with your body and then you can go home. how are you feeling so far?"

you're surprised by the sudden change in the conversation and your brain needs a moment to think about something helpful. you do a body scan trying to identify any pain, but overall you feel good.

"hungry. like, starving." the doctor smiles, saying he'll get you a meal as soon as possible. he warns you that you may not be able to eat much just yet, something about your stomach shrinking. you nod, already feeling irritated by the recovery process. then he leaves and there's a loud silence until you get back on the previous topic.

"you just what?" you expect bruce to sit correctly again, but he doesn't. he looks so small in the shadows, so comfortable. you really don't want to talk about that anymore, but curiosity takes over. he doesn't respond immediately, so your heart pounds over the anxiety of hearing bad news. suddenly you feel so tired, you want him to take over all the decisions like he usually does. today, though, he seems open to suggestions, like his own ideas weren't suitable. how could you know someone so well but still have no idea what's on his mind?

"i think maybe you shouldn't be associated with me. any part of me." the world stops with your breathing. bruce wishes he could take it back. going over this conversation in his head made it seem easier to say out loud. you've been married for three years. you knew his ambitions for even longer. you chose this life and he has no right to take that from you. still, the ring on your finger weighs you down.

— DENIAL

you've learned to appreciate the winter winds. at the top of the wayne tower there were barely any, but tonight they caress your face with the gift of numbness. breathing in is both refreshing and painful. the scratched teacup warms your fingers, a small memoir from your childhood home, from times that won't ever come back. you used to be down there, frightened by dark alleys and gunshots. now you're on top of the world and nothing, not even that psychopath, can take that from you. you did relearn discomfort. ache. cold. it all made you appreciate life even more. in fact, the month that followed your hospital discharge was pure bliss. something about renewal, about rebirth.

bruce watched you from the living room, the wrinkled glass distorting your silhouette in the balcony. that was a good representation of how he currently saw you, slightly blurred and shaken. his cup would usually hold whiskey, neat, but it holds coffee instead. you keep saying you're fine and waking up screaming in the middle of the night. then he would hold you and you would be actually fine. so now he's staying awake through the night, sleeping three or four hours during the day while alfred takes care of you. of course they don't let you know, because you've denied every explicit help. as you get ready to sleep, bruce gets ready to stay in bed through the night, alone with his thoughts. part of him was scared to sleep. he was sleeping when you were taken, there's no way he would let that happen again.

it has been almost a year since he stopped patrolling the city. the news cover murders and robberies every day. alfred makes sure to come up with something for both bruce and you to do at those hours. he's taken a pause in promoting his candidacy, he couldn't handle the public eye for now. still, the marketing team insists that your kidnapping was good media, even though he never officially spoke on it. they publish notes about being away, about taking care of family. he can't see how that could be good in any way.

you open the glass doors, flashing your husband a sweet smile. you're in a red silk robe and your hair is still perfectly done. perfectionism was one of the side effects, as one may call it, of the trauma. you visited a psychiatrist about a month ago, since bruce insisted on it, and he marked all of the habits that made you happy as unhealthy. you never told bruce what was said in that appointment in hopes that he'll get over it. him treating you like a porcelain doll made you nauseous.

"ready for bed?" you ask, standing behind the couch and hugging his shoulders. you breathe in his scent, remembering the day you met. you were an executive in an overseas wayne enterprises headquarters that had just gotten transferred to gotham. they offered you six figures to take the second in command position, so you obviously got to know the first in command. in the beginning, you honestly thought he was an entitled brat that didn't work at all. overtime, you realised how much he cared about the company and how much he was pining over you. you gave him an opening and he asked you out. six months into the relationship, he told you about batman. he knew, somehow, that you would be forever.

he sets in bed while you're touching up in the bathroom. the night had to be perfect. you've hadn't made love ever since the fight and ovulation week had gotten you a little crazy. you check yourself in the mirror, thanking the hormones making you sexy. you crawl into his side, slower than needed, hair falling over the shoulder. "hi" you whisper, sitting diagonally from him and cuddling a bit. he says hi back, with a chuckle. you give him a little peck, which is all you've been doing for all of this time. he stays still, not pulling back but also not doing anything either. you try to take it as a good sign. your lips then reach his jawline and neck, leaving wet kisses all over his skin. your hands touch his shirt and go underneath it, tracing your fingers along his defined abdomen. a hand holds your arm, pushing you away. your smile fades and you frown your face to him.

"touch me, bruce" you not so much ask, it's more like a plead. he sighs, channelling all his will to stick with his decision. he puts a string of your hair behind your ear and you think he's going to properly kiss you.

"i don't think we should do this. you're not well enough yet." he doesn't sound so certain, but it hits you like a hard brick wall. this is harder for him than he lets it show, he's a man after all. even so, he can't see you like that for the moment. he sees you scattered and feels like it's his responsibility to assemble you again.

"i'm perfectly fine." you state like a grumpy proud child who's just lost a soccer tournament. he sees right through it.

"you're not, you're in denial." that simple word makes your mood swing: denial. it's the same thing the stupid psychiatrist told you. you can even hear his smoker's voice echoing in the office. it isn't true. you got over it, that's all. maybe some people take more time to do so, but you did just like that. you had a life to get back to.

you get off the bed and pull your robe tight again. "i'm sleeping in the guest room. good night." he doesn't follow and lets you be. in all honesty, he didn't know if he would have the strength to turn you down a second time.

bruce tries to fight the tiredness. even with caffeine running high in his blood system, he falls asleep for a while. the guest room is far enough that he doesn't hear the muffled sobbing. he wakes up not so long after with screaming. his heart races as he runs down the stairs, following the sound of your voice. his mind starts thinking the worst, but he finds you only having nightmares. he crawls in bed with you, without being kicked off. he lets you lay on his chest, one arm over your shoulder. his body warms yours up and you finally stop spasming. it doesn't take too long for both to fall asleep.

— ANGER

the penthouse is quiet. the winter is almost at it's end, so the pre-spring rays lighten the living room bringing warmness to your solitude. you sit uncomfortably, unknown to this feeling of absence. you don't feel him in the tower.

bruce said there was a non deniable meeting with his press team, because eventually he would have to go back to promoting his election, which would take place in the fall. you acted unbothered. yet, he's barely been gone for an hour and you can already feel the anxiety crippling. you only left the apartment for doctors appointment, still too scared to walk on the streets. and he was always there, too, holding your hand. so this is different.

alfred is downstairs upgrading the batman suit with a new technology he created. he invited you, but the darkness of the cave was definitely unrequited. that's how you end up lounging, in silence, staring at window. finally, you decide to try to watch something. you shouldn't really do that, because something could trigger a panic attack. but you're fine, you really are. enough with this nonsense.

shuffling through the channels, nothing gets your attention until there's a juridical show on. the judge is talking to the prosecutor, apparently, announcing the next witness to testify. the camera angle changes to the courtroom and expectant eyes turn to the wooden door. it opens slowly to reveal a knight in dark armour. you hold your breath. the jury buzzes and the room gets loud. heavy steps make his cape swing behind him, as he makes his way to the stand.

bruce had to make a tough decision. while you and him had been cleared from the trial, you with the psychiatrist report on PTSD and him with the marriage, the lawyers mentioned that the batman's testimony could be decisive for the accused to be found guilty by the jury. the public respected him. either they loved or feared him. so, even though he's never made such a public appearance, less even speaking, he had to go to that trial. he owed it to you. but you could never know. he didn't want to spark your interest in the case, you shouldn't have to go through it again. he lays his hand on the constitution and swears on it.

it doesn't feel real until you hear the judge.

"members of the jury, i present to you the batman."

it feels like a dagger has gone through your chest. there's a mix of feelings that have you almost throwing up. you feel like screaming and crying and blowing the fucking world up. how could he do that to you? that was your case, your life. you stand up only to find your legs trembling. you want to run there and testify. you want to tell the world the horrors you've been through and show them, including your husband, that you had overcome it. he was calling you weak right in you face and you couldn't bear the feeling of being chained up again. you're stuck in this hell of a tower like some futile damsel.

you stomp your way to the elevator, your mind set on leaving the building. but your heart stops you in your tracks pounding and almost vomiting itself out; you feel your toes numb and your legs can't stop shaking. the baritone voice still sounds in the apartment. you run to it and scream at the TV. you throw a pillow on it. that doesn't cool you down. your body is in motion while all you can see is red. you knock the coffee table down, shattering the glass and scattering like ashes the books that were on it on the floor. the noise still doesn't muffle his voice and you can't find the fucking remote control. you stumble across the room, throwing lamps and vases around. everything is falling down, in every sense. you grab a candle and let out a scream when you hit the TV with it, the screen going black and the noise finally ceasing.

alfred finds the room trashed, with you kneeling on the broken glass. there's blood on the floor. your body trembles with every sob. he cautiously steps towards you. you feel out of breath, tears burning your eyes. he holds you like a mother does.

"i'm sorry- i'm so sorry," he shakes his head, saying it doesn't matter. you wanna say it does, but there's simply nothing leaving your mouth apart from "i'm so sorry"

part three - aporia

#fluff imagine #battinson x you #battinson x reader #battinson #bruce wayne smut #bruce wayne #bruce wayne angst #bruce wayne x reader #bruce wayne x you #robert pattinson x reader #robert pattinson x you #robert pattinson imagine #bruce wayne imagine #bruce wayne insert #dc comics #dca fandom #dc universe #the batman x reader #the batman #batman x reader #batman #batman x you #angst #dark romance #romance #fanfiction #harry potter imagines #golden trio era #james potter #marauders fanfiction

[theharrowing]

White Lies 🤍 0: Introductions

Yoongi is everything you could ask for. He is attractive, confident, and smart. And his partner Taehyung is as possessive as he is beautiful. Too bad a relationship would be a major conflict of interest.

You need to have them at all costs.

🤍 Yoongi x Female Reader x Taehyung

🤍 word count: 0; screencaps of twitter feeds & text messages.

🤍 college au, cop au, partial social media au with a lot of written story, strangers to lovers & established relationship, yandere, hurt/comfort, smut, fluff, angst, slash, poly, minor character injury & death, graphic violence, nsfw, 21+.

🤍 warnings: ACAB includes our MC, sorry you found out this way.

🤍 this is a sequel to Boy Blue! i highly recommend that you start at the beginning to fully understand the the dynamic & history between Yoongi & Taehyung. there will be a lot of references to Boy Blue; this fic will spoil the shit out of it. this MC/reader character is not the same MC/reader character from Boy Blue.

🤍 for full notes & warnings, see the master list.

🤍 note: those of you who read Boy Blue...you finally get to meet one of the characters for the first time. are you excited??? this is the first of several surprises hehe.

🤍 posted nov. 2023 | read on ao3

INDEX | NEXT

Profiles of starting characters:

reader/mc:

Yoongi & Taehyug:

Seokjin:

note: time stamps & dates are important but also a bit loose. if you see a mistake just pretend you don't! more profiles are likely to be added, and i may or may not remember to edit this post so just vibe with it. 🤍

also note: the image for mc is a statue of medusa, and it is not meant to suggest that she is white. her physical description is going to be kept as vague as possible.

* * *

Teaser for Chapter 1 because i love you:

😈😈😈 HELLO, MY LOVES!!! ARE WE READYYY??? i am still trying to wrap up Collateral before i get too far into this fic, but the muse has been wanting to work on this and nothing else, so here is a teaser. and yes, you are not mistaken, Kim Seokjin is alive. 😈😈😈

i cannot thank you enough for keeping the hype for Boy Blue alive. it was such a wild ride that i thought people would hate me for, and it became somewhat of a cult classic. this fic will have all the twists and turns that you have come to expect from Boy Blue, with some wild new additions because my writing style has changed a bit in the last two years.

REBLOGS AND COMMENTS ARE THE LIFEBLOOD OF THIS SITE, BUT LIKES ARE ALSO SUPER APPRECIATED!!! 🤍🤍🤍 BUCKLE UP BECAUSE THIS IS GOING TO BE A WILD RIDE!!!

tag list: @bangtan-tee-86 @ffion451 @fluffybuns69 @here4kpopfics @iloverubberduckiez-blog @lovemeforeternity @mgthecat @moonleeai @oceansmerchild @unsureofwhathappens 🤍 visit the master post to read the warnings & request to be tagged!

INDEX | NEXT

White Lies is copyright 2023 theharrowing, all rights reserved. No translations or reposts allowed!

#taehyung x reader #yoongi x reader #tagei x reader #bts smut #bts angst #bts yandere #social media au #undescribed images #undescribed #fic: white lies

[skeptiquewrites]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you for the tag @tackytigerfic (here) and @maesterchill (here). Emerging from my post illness hidey hole.

How many works do you have on ao3?

32, a number that both seems too large and smaller than I thought

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

254,835. Wild.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mostly HP, although once in a while I peek over at other fandoms. And I have a joint Check Please fic in the works.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

All Drarry. None really surprised me but the final one, I hadn't realized it climbed that far up the kudos. Huh. 1. Yours Truly - my romcom fic about Harry feeling left out when everyone's coupled up, telling a lie that gets out of control, and also how hot magical ecology is 2. Home Truths - my Quidditch fic about the complications of fame, love of the game, Harry finding out who his family was and letting himself fall in love 3. Special Affinity - how quickly one can justify fucking one's coworker given a bonding spell while having no idea if the feelings part is reciprocal 4. Winner Takes It All - Draco feeling caught in impossible circumstances, working too much, caregiving for a parent, and how small kindnesses can mean the world 5. A Little Time - mistaken for a couple, forced proximity, Healer school, and everyone in a small town hating you and all your friends on sight

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I love responding to comments, but it takes me a while. I read every single one, and I try to wait until I have the time and energy to respond with something thoughtful. I'm months behind at this point.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'm a fairly happy ending sort of person. I tend to go more for straight angst for drabbles and micros. Maybe Beside Manner? They're formerly bonded and dealing very badly with the dissolution.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oh, gosh, most of them. I'm most enamoured by the Big Damn Kiss at the end of Home Truths. I love No Distance because Harry and Draco are very much in love and not able to hide it. I am particularly fond of the end of Winner because I was able to leave Draco in a very good place that felt right for the fic.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not really I think. I get the occasional rude bookmark rating. Once, a very unpleasant person who sent lots of hate for months over a fairly inconsequential aspect of a fic. And then there have been a few comments where it's clear the reader wanted me to write a different fic, which I don't really take that personally. Nice comments far outweight the negative.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Not much. Tender, expressive, evocative. Light on details mostly.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I am not a crossover person.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think anyone has ever tried.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes. Two by the wonderful Bluebubbling which I was thrilled by.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I've always wanted to. I'm trying my hand with another fandom, but one day.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Drarry. It just hits different.

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I'm one of those people who has a dozens of ideas. I think I'm unlikely to finish my Veela!Harry fic, I just don't think I have the range. I have yet to successfully write and finish a PWP. Would be thrilled to finish some of my rare pairs.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Hmmm. I think dialogue, efficiency, and atmosphere.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

More complicated or mystery-oriented plots, the mid-level between an ensemble cast and an intimate chamber piece, anything with significant length, spending lots of words on one scene.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

One of my ideas about writing is that not everything has to be maximally accessible to all to be an authentic expression in a fic. If that's what fits or feels right, go for it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

You know, I found out the answer for sure recently, and I will be keeping that information to myself. Highly embarrassing and yet formative. Let your imagination do the rest.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Winner Takes It All. Exactly what I intended, turned out beautifully. Some of my favourite writing.

tagging @magpiefngrl @lettersbyelise @lqtraintracks @quicksilvermaid @goblinmatriarch @teledild0nix @boxboxlewis and anyone else who is interested

#about writing

[proshippers-against-censorship]

Not sure what I am in terms of it (pro/com, highly unlikely to be anti from what I've seen.. I'm too new to this kind of thing to make a label identity) but something I've been wondering in relation to "antis" for this is "do you like EVERY aspect of every fiction you watch? do you want to do it in real life or do you approve of it happening?" because I see so many people who go for whatever reason (likely because they were told it's the "right thing to do"?) who are filled with intense hatred towards pro shippers and they will like medias which have these illegal aspects and might post they like the characters and stuff. If the difference isn't "I find it gross so I'm against it" , what is then? If the murder in these is enjoyable to you, there's this "moral" being implemented into fiction and then what decides what is okay and what isn't if not disgust? And then why would it be okay for person who finds incest or whatever disgusting and thinks it shouldn't be allowed to exist and the person who thinks that about homosexuality? I'm NOT for either of those, obviously (the "shouldn't be allowed to exist" part specifically, I don't have anything against people's personal preferences on likes or dislikes). The only argument could be "but in real life" but it's NOT real life. And then if that argument is used for the murderer in fiction enjoyer, what's up with that? I'm not saying that "antis" approve of some actions if they don't think fiction is a big difference from real life. But I don't get the logic. And then the application of these beliefs if it is to be anti any "problematic" thing in fiction... are horror movies not allowed to exist anymore? artistic expression? and what's the limits for what is okay or not? is it wrong to draw it in your own room and nobody else sees it? what's the big difference between that and someone who shares it online in a specific place and tagged appropriately (which if I'm not mistaken is the pro shipper belief)? should anything that may be controversial be removed from the internet? and I see some "antis" hate what's going on with KOSA? This isn't a rhetorical or a "antis are so weird" thing. I genuinely don't get it. I'd ask publicly but I don't want people to be mean to me or harass me.. (or worse) and then if anyone thinks "yes its biased but i dont care and I hate it anyways" sort of thing, sure. but that isn't a genuine argument you can make against something. since no opinion is more important than another. and other person could say the opposite.

"Rules for thee but not for me" seems to be one of the biggest anti vibes.

Honestly, it's probably better off not digging yourself into the trenches and outwardly choosing a side to label yourself with. Proship is really just believing that harassment over fiction is wrong - but truth be told, that's pretty much the normal person mindset anyways.

Smacking on the label unfortunately just makes you a target. So only bother with labelling yourself if you're prepared to deal with the assholes.

#proshippers against censorship #jackal barks #proship please interact #proship positivity #proship #proshipping #proshipper #proshippers please interact #proshipper safe #anti anti #ask #asks

[monmuses]

i was the anon that asked about the blacklist and its ridiculous people are so mad about it. You deserve to establish your boundaries and keep yourself safe

thanks for the explanation though. I dont really know Stols, just that i used to see them around in the community. I followed them for a short time on their Charlie blog and i never really saw them do anything they did on goetiia, just that they werent very active on that blog. there was a situation that someone copied all their tags because they posted comparisons screencaps of them but if i'm not mistaken they settled the conflict

as for ezy and sheep I wasn't aware of their drama but I saw the callouts and vents they'd post and I think ezy might still be around? like I said i don't know the whole situation but yeah

as for Stols i've been keeping up with the situation on the evidence blog and saw they posted a long apology and i dont know what to think. on one hand they seem serious and sincere but on another they might just be fooling everyone. it def isn't my business but would you think they deserve forgiveness if they returned one day? after seeing all the damage i just dont know and i'm curious about your own opinion

sorry for the long message, but again thanks for explaining everything. Im sorry people are rude and ridiculous when it comes to these things

hi again! i really do appreciate you asking because it should be encouraged to ask questions. even if you don't know where to go, it's always fair to ask someone who could answer your question if they talk about it.

but yeah, i've heard about it and i'm just hoping things settle after this. shit happened, people have moved on and i'm hoping that we don't have to deal with something as public as that was. as for the other two, i'm not sure. i don't keep track and if they're around, they're around. i always keep 'em blocked and its none of my business to see what they're up to.

and that's totally fair about asking on my opinion! i usually try to write out a very honest opinion with reasons behind it. while i don't necessarily hate people for their actions, i know they can grow and move from it. however long it takes, i think that should be an expectation if you WANT people to be better instead of repeating the same hateful spouts of reminders for what people did. people fuck up, and if they don't care to change, that's on them, though it shouldn't require an admittance of guilt or an apology every time people mention what they did.

for Stols' situation, i personally think it's all on how they change their ways to treat others and if it shows. that's it, really. not everyone will be easy to forgive them if they do return and IF there's changes. that's all on them if they do better, and i hope they do, but tumblr just isn't a safe place to unleash all of that unchecked negativity and behavior. i hope they get better and find the time to work their ways through their issues.

i appreciate you coming back! i hope my response sort of fitted what my view is on it, since im not one who dives into the drama/callout side of Tumblr. tho i hope it gave you some ideas on what to form for your own opinion!

#✨{𝔯𝔢𝔮𝔲𝔢𝔰𝔱 𝔯𝔢𝔠𝔢𝔦𝔳𝔢𝔡; (𝔞𝔰𝔨 𝔞𝔫𝔰𝔴𝔢𝔯𝔢𝔡) #✨{𝔲𝔫𝔦𝔡𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔦𝔣𝔦𝔢𝔡 𝔰𝔭𝔢𝔠𝔦𝔢𝔰; (𝔞𝔫𝔬𝔫𝔶𝔪𝔬𝔲𝔰) #✨{𝔬𝔲𝔱 𝔬𝔣 𝔪𝔞𝔫𝔤𝔞; (𝔬𝔲𝔱 𝔬𝔣 𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔞𝔠𝔱𝔢𝔯) #// *its not drama if you're talking about situations with names if you state whats HAPPENED and if its formal & respectful #// *i personally keep the details of what i experienced private but i summarize it to what happened in the end #// *and im picky with name-dropping specifically in a manner where its written to send hate and condone harassment for others #// *im only explaining what i know of and keeping it in a respectful manner rather than hateful. i might have a bitter view on things #// *but ill never share that on here. no one deserves to see MORE negative shit on tumblr #// *especially in the RPC #// *i appreciate the questions and thank you! im doing ok if ur wondering. shit just happens with anons fhjsjhfs #long post tw #long post #drama tw #name drop tw #drama mention #// *just gonna add these for safety

[toh-proship-positivity]

#CharminglyProBelos an event by and for Belos fans!

Welcome to the #CharminglyProBelos event! An all year round event for the TOH fandom and more specifically Belos fans. What is this event you may ask: A hastag for Belos fans to let loose and post as they want, post all the dark topics you can think off, do you want to post about Empgold? Bellector, Philuz or Belos horribly torturing someone? This is the event for you! Any and all Belos art is welcome regardless of subject or content. Some examples of what is allowed: Any and all ship content, doesn't matter what the ship is violence gore murder any and all dark or what is deemed problematic themes pretty much good Belos stuff (reformed aus, good uncle aus you name it) edits videos crafts nothing is off the table, go buck wild! Why is this event?: Sadly many fans for some reason do not understand that liking a fictional villain does not mean you agree or condone with their actions or want to see it happen in real life. This goes for fiction in general, there are many bad things in fiction, murder, torture, people being violently punched to a bloody pulp, drugs, alcohol you name it. However just because people enjoy dark themes in fiction does not mean they think this is okay in real life. We do not stand or tollerate any kind of harassment, bullying doxxing or sending death threats. This behaviour is not okay not even from other Belos fans, please do notify me of such behaviour if it does happen, there is an alternative hashtag for only clean Belos content so if people don't want to see the nittygritty then that hashtag is for them. Rules, yes there are a few: - Please make sure anything is in line with Tumblr's/Twitter's Guidelines, as much as I'm not a fan of it myself but it can't be helped. We don't want anyone to get their socials nuked, for those seeking to really post the hard stuff, Bluesky, Aethy and Baraag are places to do that. If anyone else knows other sites then let me know so I can add them. - Please tag everything accordingly! Do not censor trigger warnings, this isn't tiktok, censoring things isn't going to get filtered out so if your work includes gore please make sure to tag it for that, does it contain blood? tag it for blood, violence? tag it for violence etc etc. I could be mistaken so please do correct me on what is the most preffered/used tag for content/trigger warnings! - Do NOT use this hastag to spread hate or negativity, if you don't like problematic content, or don't like Belos that's fine. Just block this tag and if you see someone posting in the wrong tag just point them to this tag. - If you are an anti or anti supporter, do not interact with this tag at all, you don't like ANY problematic (including but not limited to: gore, murder, violence, etc) content that's fine, this is not for you. Again there is an alternative hastag for only strictly unproblematic Belos content use that one if dark themes aren't your thing. Remember: Liking villains isn't a crime, liking dark fiction isn't a crime, liking dark themes isn't a crime. You are not a bad person for enjoying any of this regardless if it's to cope or just to explore taboo topics, this is a safe space.

#proship #antis dni #proship safe #proship please interact #the owl house #toh #CharminglyProBelos #Emperor Belos #Philip Wittebane #belosfanstakeover #realbelosfantakeover

[gremlin-writes-angst]

Scraps to a Tank

Ive been working on this AU for a while. I'm very excited to finally post the first chapter. I'd love feed back from anyone, about anything. This is one of my favorite things I've come up with/written, and want to know how I can improve.

I am tagging some of my favorite redacted asmr writers/Tumblr pages because I'd love to have some feedback (if comfortable and have the time) but also I just want to share what I have.

This chapter is a little cheesy, so small warning for that.

 1.7 k words

Fandom: Redacted Asmr/Audio

TW/CW: Quinn in other words toxic, controlling, abusive relationship. nothing graphic. This is a Boxing/Fighting Au so there is fighting, i wouldn't consider it graphic, but everyone's different so read with your own discretion.

Let me know if I missed a trigger or spelling mistake.

Please comment and reblog, it lets me know people like my stuff and encourages me to write more!!!!!!

The building was intimidating.

It wasn't tall or fancy like the buildings a couple of blocks down.

It was an average building.

An average gym.

And yet it was still so daunting.

They checked the card for about the sixteenth time.

The sign matched the card.

The dirty, crusty, crumbled-up card.

The card's appearance didn't match its meaning.

This card was their lottery ticket.

“That name doest fit you.”

They turned around, a man, a beast.

He was tall, big, rugged.

The definition of strong.

Standing right in front of them.

“Excuse me?”

“Your fighter name, it doesn't fit you. And honestly neither does this.” 

His hand slowly waved around, gesturing to the alley.

“You're better than an alley fighter.”

They couldn't hold back their laugh, short and dry.

Just like Quinn’s. 

“You must have mistaken me for someone else. I'm the fighter that lost.”

“I know.”

He steps closer.

Yet distanced.

He was still giving them space.

He respected them.

“And everyone and their mothers knows that fight was rigged. Though I could see it.”

Intrigued, they took a step closer.

“See what?”

“The passion. The strength, the techniques, you are a fighter.”

“I’m not.”

“You have the will to be.”

He stretched his hand out, a business card.

“I can teach you.”

“So this guy approached me today.”

All Quinn did was grunt and roll away from them.

“He says he can teach me how to fight.”

Their excitement was palpable.

“I already did.”

The air tensed as he fought to dampen their excitement.

For once, he failed.

“No, like real fighting, I looked up the name on the card. His dad is Gabriel Shaw, like Gabe Shaw!”

They hadn't felt this hopeful for a long time, and they wished Quinn would share their interest, at least a little, at least for once.

“Gabe Shaw, like the 3 time champi-”

“Two time, I recognized the name, he died before the last fight.”

The air tensed more.

Quinn was good at pushing things to their limit.

Even the air.

They hated it.

It was sicking.

They were sick of it.

Sick of Quinn.

“I think I'm going to take him up on it, he doesn't fight anymore, but from what I saw he’s good, just as good as his dad, and his fighters get pretty far. I could be a real fighter, I could learn real techniqu-”

“I already taught you real shit, and we already win.”

He moved fast and with anger.

Out of the bed he charged at them.

“Quin-”

“We already win. You're getting too cocky. Winning isn't about the fight itself, winning comes from the fuckers that bet, the poor drunk suckers we trick with the fights. That's how we win. You are no fighter, you know that. I’ve shown you that.”

He looked into their eyes, he didn't have to threaten them.

Not with details at least.

They knew it all too well.

That look in his eyes.

The tone in his voice.

It was all he had to do. 

And he knew it.

And he loved it.

He smiled, wicked and calm. Like this was normal, they supposed it was.

They didn't want it to be.

Not anymore. 

His hand reached for their forearm.

“Let us get to bed now precio-”

 They moved.

 Just slightly.

Just enough to avoid his touch.

"You don't want to do that, precious."

He was right.

They weren't ready.

They had to be ready.

They will be ready.

"I couldn't take it."

"What?"

The other fighter spoke, they weren't looking at you, their eyes on Quinn.

"Being with him. Dealing with him once a month is too much."

"Yeah. You're the first one to say that."

"Probably because the other fighters want to get in his pants. They just can't resist ‘The Viper’ "

They don't reply.

"Sorry, I thought you knew."

"I do, there's not much I can do."

"I think there is.”

"You don't understand"

"I do."

They look at the chunky heart-shaped ring on their finger.

"You can get out."

Those words drew them in.

Cautiously they expressed their interest.

"He's quite insecure, use it. Take away his control.”

There was a pause.

They looked around again.

Their eyes caught on Quinn.

A decision was being made behind those eyes.

When they made their decision it was clear.

They made eye contact.

Strong eye contact.

And continued.

“You'll have your moment. I promise. Take it or don’t, it’s up to you.”

They turn their back. 

" It's a little strange that you never win these staged fights. I think it's about damn time.”

"I hope everyone's bets are placed because the books are closed for Scraps vs Sweetheart!"

The announcer looks at Quinn, and with a quick nod, he starts again.

"Fighters ready?"

Sweetheart has an intense stare as they nod.

Scraps, on the other hand, doesn't hear the announcer the first time.

"Scraps? This fighter isn't even prepared, it's your fault if you took your chances on this underdog."

They snap back. 

"I'm ready."

And they were.

"Then…..FIGHT!"

The match starts, as planned. 

A couple hits, a swing of the legs and Scraps is knocked to the floor, as planned.

Sweetheart approached, to taunt, as rehearsed.

"Don't take this personally."

That's the only hit they give sweetheart.

Sweetheart's eyes glimmer as they smile.

"I won't. Take your moment."

Scraps grabs their neck, slamming their heads together before flipping them behind. Scraps moves fast as they get up. In the crowd, they see Quinn and his goons moving to the ring. 

"Sorry, thank you."

"Don't be, go."

They climb the makeshift fence and run. A huge smile stains their face as they leave the building, rain washes the sweat off their face. They keep running. Not running away from Quinn but towards freedom,  towards their future.

They took a deep breath before they opened the gym doors.

It’s bigger than they'd expected.

They'd never been in a professional gym like this. 

There were multiple rings, real rings, not the homemade stuff they were used to.

There's no reception desk like a public gym, but luckily David Shaw was the first person they spotted.

He was in a ring with someone.

They walk towards the ring, they can feel the other fighters watching them.

They get to the ring David is in.

Neither he nor the other fight realizes it.

"David?"

The two whip their head to you.

"Get out."

He was calm but still seemed angry.

"I'm Scraps, from the-"

"I know who you are. Now get out!"

They climb out of the ring, and begin their walk to the door, feeling defeated and quite offended they, whisper to themselves.

"Well fuck you mister big shot ."

"I'm not a big shot."

David says from behind. 

Scraps freezes up.

"When I said get out I meant the rink."

They stay still.

"Will you turn around?"

David didn't hold back his frustration.

Scraps feels it'd be best to turn around.

"Sorry."

"You shouldn't enter a ring without permission, not here."

"Sorry, I've never been somewhere this professional."

"You don't mean that."

"What?"

"Those sorries. That is not how you feel."

"I am sorry. And how exactly would you know how I feel? You just met me."

David's eyebrows raise as his eyes keep a dull annoyed look.

“To quote you ‘Well fuck you mister big shot’, that's how you feel, Don't act differently,  it pisses me off. I hate suck-ups."

Scraps believes him.

"Well, I'm not sorry, only because you don't have to be an ass, you said you recognize me, then you should of figured I wouldn't know these rules."

"I was an ass so I could protect you, get used to it."

Scraps smiles.

David rolled his eyes.

"It’s been about a year."

"Does the offer still stand?"

"Yes."

"Then what's the problem?"

"Nothing."

Silence rests between them.

Scraps isn't patient enough to let it continue. 

"So can I start today?"

"We can't just take you in at the last moment, the trainers have others to train.”

"I don't." 

A curly-haired blonde yells across the room, near a punching bag, and starts rushing toward the two.

"I'll do it." 

David takes a breath so deep it is visible from his chest. Before he let out a sigh.

"No."

"Oh come on David, I'm a great trainer."

"Asher, I know that, but I said no. You are not the right fit. "

"Ohhh you want to train them."

Asher starts walking towards Scraps.

"Lucky bastard."

He whispers, without maliciousness.

"So what do we call you?"

"Well, I've gone by Scraps for a while."

"Scraps? Really?"

He looks them up and down.

"That won't work"

"He's right, I'm not calling you that."

David seconded Asher.

"Well, I don't really have any other ideas."

"Tank!"

Another voice echoes throughout the gym. 

Scraps wasn't expecting to recognize anyone other than David, but rushing towards the group was the boxer who gave them the nudge they needed.

Behind said fighter was a guy, seemingly trying to stop the other from coming over. He was failing.

"That would be Sweetheart,  they're our newest addition."

Asher kindly tried to keep Scraps updated through all the chaos.

"They know who I am Ash, at least I hope they do, with the concussion they gave me. You've got one thick skull."

Slightly overwhelmed by all the attention,  Scraps freezes and doesn't answer.

"But listen, Tank, it's perfect,  there like a machine. They gave me a concussion for God's sake, and then, after slamming our heads together,  which had to have hurt them too, they flipped me. That mother fucker acted like I weighed nothing. They're a fucking tank."

"How many times have I told you to watch your language."

David made a sound comparable to a growl.

Sweetheart rolled their eyes, then looked over to Scraps, to engage them.

"He's not a fan of my filthy mouth."

"I sure am."

"Milo"

David sounded like he wanted to strangle Milo.

Yet, to Scraps surprise no one was scared.

The group just laughed it off.

It was strange to Scraps.

"Ohhh my god!"

Asher shot his hands out to get everyone's attention.

"If you go by Scraps now, and we change it to Tank it's like, like you're being rebuilt, becoming stronger. Which is fucking sick."

David shakes his head at the profanity. Before turning to Scraps.

"It's up to you, it's your name. You don't have to choose now. "

"I like it. I mean, I love it."

That's all they said, they wanted to say more but didn't want to overshare about their life after five minutes of meeting these people.

"I am a tank. So I'll be Tank."

If you'd rather not be tagged let me know and I'll respect your wishes.

@dominimoonbeam @romirola @ejunkiet

#redacted asmr #redactedverse #fanfic #redacted darlin #redacted angst #redacted sam #redacted audio #redacted quinn #redacted fanfic #redacted david #redacted milo #redacted au #redacted sweetheart #redacted asher #redacted tank #redacted angel #boxing au

[halfagone]

Challenge! 20 Questions for Writers

Thank you both @oliveofvanders and @tathartiel for tagging me!! I don't know what the 20 questions are, but I'll try to work from Tathy's responses. XD

How many works do you have on Ao3?

Technically my Ao3 page says 88, but I personally count it as 87, since I became a co-author post-publishing to add a work into a series. It's complicated, alright?

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

Oh gosh, don't hate me for this- Right now my total stands at 1,936,874 words... Yeah. I may be just a smidge unhinged...

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Right now I currently write for the DPxDC crossover, although I'm hoping to branch out into DP-only, DC-only, and other crossover works!! I used to write for another fandom, but I've long since left that one behind.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

No. 1 goes to lex luthor's ascent from supervillainy to fatherhood with a whopping 14,759 kudos. It is currently 92 chapters long, I am working on chapter 93, and it is projected to finish at 150 chapters.

No. 2 goes to Two For One Special at 8,349 kudos!! It's a short one-shot, very light-hearted with Danny and Clark being mistaken as two Waynes.

No. 3 goes to what was lost, found again with 7,090 kudos. This story follows more introspection and character exploration, and we get to see a softer side of what things could be if Jason came home after being resurrected. It's 5 chapters long, already completed if you want to check it out!

No. 4 goes to Eldritch Toddler with 7,031 kudos, so a very close runner-up to No. 3. This is another one-shot for DPxDC crossover week (which will be reoccur this year, although sadly I'm not sure if I'll be able to write for it this time), and it's a little wild and goofy but I overall I tried for fluffy family feels.

We wrap up with No. 5, Off With [the Demon's] Head at 5,492 kudos!! It is currently 15 chapters long, who knows when it'll be done. Danny is Damian's older brother, with mommy and daddy issues a-plenty, and he's sorta kinda Ellie's father? It's complicated and I like to hurt the blorbos.

5. Do you respond to comments?

I definitely try to!! I am very behind on them unfortunately, but I try to respond when I have the spoons and time to. It'll be slow going to catch up to them all, but I try to give them the credit they deserve. <3

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh this one's hard... I tend to write a lot of angst, after all. Hmmm... I think I'll give this one to On a scale from 1-10, how would you rate your pain? just because that fic is so depressing and then I end it with a cliffhanger, so you don't get very much relief from the angst.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Ah... I think this one does go to what was lost, found again just because of the catharsis for the journey. There's plenty of angst and hard feelings in that fic, but I really loved being able to write that epilogue from Damian's POV and seeing so many people love it too.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I've gotten some pretty rude comments, but I think I've only gotten outright hate one time. That comment has since been reported and deleted. There are many comments that seem to take a bad faith reading on the entire chapter, and then kinda go on a tangent about it? It's very strange to see but thankfully I have plenty of other wonderful readers who make up for it.

9. Do you write smut fic? If so, what kind?

Technically no. I've written some more mature fics, but I doubt I'll ever go for full-blown smut. And I'd like to keep it that way, thanks...

10. Do you write crossovers? If so, what's the craziest one you've written?

Oh boy do I write crossovers. Majority of my fics are crossovers now actually. lol lex luthor's ascent from supervillainy to fatherhood does take this cake once again, because it started off as a few responses to a Tumblr prompt, and then it became interconnected one-shots and back then I had planned out at least 20 chapters, and here we are now.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't believe so, and I really, really hope not.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have co-written a fic!! It's called Born to Make History and I write it with my lovely friend @nightshiftshenanigans. I do have some more plans for co-written fic and hopefully one day soon I'll get to unveil them. ;3

13. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Oh... that's hard... I don't think I have one all-time favorite? I guess Tim Drake/Danny Fenton would be the closest, since it's the ship I've written the most for. Much like Tathy, I really adore Danny Fenton/Valerie Gray, they are my canon babies. <333

14. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Probably weekend wonders. I have plenty of ideas for the fic, the problem is I have so many other WIPs that came as a higher priority that I don't know when this one will get to update. It's only meant to have 15 chapters, but other things get in the way.

15. What are your writing strengths?

Hmmm, now that's a hard one. I do enjoy writing many things, especially worldbuilding, but I think introspection and character study would probably be the top ones up there. It's always been very important to me to show a character's reasoning and motivations. Even if you don't relate to it, even if their reasoning is inherently baseless, it is always good to see that people do things for a reason even if it's a stupid one.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

I am so bad at dialogue it physically pains me. TAT Occasionally I'll get scenes and bits of dialogue I am absolutely in love with but otherwise it's just- It's not my strong suit for sure. lol In other news, I get pretty good at monologues, though!! XD

17. First Fandom you wrote for?

Tower of God, Korean Manhwa from Webtoon. It's so freaking long and so freaking good, but I have sadly since left it (and the fandom at large) behind. :'(

18. Favorite Fic you've written?

I bounce between favorites, but my current one would probably be this is me trying. It is a birthday fic for a wonderful friend of mine, @disillusioneddanny but the idea itself has been something I've wanted to explore for a long time, and I am so proud that I could give them a gift they could enjoy.

Apologies if you get tagged twice here: @die-erlkonigin6083, @chromatographic, and @theredshirtsarecoming!! (You ain't getting out of this that easily, zia!! MUAHAHAH) No pressure if you're not up for it, but in case you were interested~ Have at it!!

#tag game

[siriuslygay1981]

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Introduction post!!

You can call me Star/Basra/Bea, I go by them all :).

They/them! (but also all pronouns, just use they/them more!!)

Queer(not really labeled.) Poly!

I like cosmology/astronomy, writing, music and reading! I'm a writer, an artist, I love learning new things and I am always looking for friends

` * 🔭🐇

Things I'll post Abt:

Marauders era, Harry Potter, Stranger things, Good omens,Marvel, DC (specifically batman-robin-redhood stuff) and Anime! Writing and in general probably random rants about whatever thing I've watched/read recently. I will reblog the most random post that I relate to or just want to reblog too ofc. I might post art sometimes ! My writing

｡:+* ﾟ ゜ﾟ *+:｡:+* ﾟ ゜ﾟ *+:｡

Boundaries-

No:

hate comments

Bullying

Slurs/racism/homophobia etc etc

Eveyone can:

Reply/ask questions

Ask to be friends

Texting me on here

Ask to collab

Mutuals only:

Asking for socials

Asking personal info

♥︎̶̶ ´ ˘ ` ۫ ִ ׂ🪕 ◟♡ ˒

My spotify-

My ao3-

I give permission to use any idea I've written/talked about as long as it's credited and I'm tagged (I'd love to see it :) ) Unless I've mentioned otherwise

Beta reader applications are open! If you wish to be a beta reader for any WIP (published or not) let me know!

My Pfp- cuckooboo_ on Instagram!

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Request info-

I won't do inc3st, I won't do illegal, I won't force myself to write what I don't vibe with and I'll tell you that.

I'll do NSfw, I'll do any ship, any scenario! I might even do x reader. I'll link my stories from my Tumblr on my pinned post too. You can request in Asks or messages.

I'll be posting my own stuff that I want to post until someone asks for SMTHN specific!

✧⁠*.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡

Black brothers angst-

Regulus Dying-

Dorlene Word prompt -

Rosekiller word prompt-

Jegulus- Fluff mostly. Right before Regulus leaves for the cave.

Rosekiller quote prompt thing-

Wolfstar Short-

#pinned post #pinned intro #siriuslygay1981 #writer #artists on tumblr #bea asks #baz asks #star asks #queer

[gerardpilled]

MCR hot take: People are too damn obsessive and presumptuous about Gerard's gender and sexuality, especially since he's publicly said he doesn't like labels or want them applied to him. I'm pretty sure that most of the serious speculation/theories people come out with are projection, and I'm not sure that some people get that an actual human being can't be put into whatever specific representation mold they want. Gerard doesn't exist for that purpose; he's not a blank slate to project onto (and get in fights over) just bc he's private about it. His own personal gender and sexuality, whatever they may be, are his business, and imo (speaking as a person who's more or less rejected gender for myself but doesn't like talking about it either) there's something kind of uncomfortable about the determination some folks have to specifically categorize him, especially when they're trying to justify it with some random out of context quote or the like. It's one thing when the person is being unserious, but there's definitely people who are very serious about it and I don't like that.

I agree with what you're saying, but I also think this approach to the topic has calmed down a considerable amount where complaining about it is almost beating a dead horse at this point in time. Though, I do think that the normalization of very invasive think-peice type posting about Gerard has kind of had lasting effects in terms of what people are comfortable explicitly implying about him. I definitely agree with what you're saying about viewing him as a blank slate. I can't say I am completely immune to this myself lol sometimes I really have to think to myself about why I care so much about ensuring Gerard fits exactly into the mold I have mentally created for him that also just so happens to be extremely relatable to myself.

I think a lot of initial conversation around their gender started because general ignorance, meaning lack of knowledge, of what Gerard has said in the past regarding being gender non conforming was mistaken as lack of acceptance? Also there was a period of time where you could not tag a photo of Gerard in a dress as "gerard way" without the risk of actual transphobes calling him a pedo in the replies. Which I do think affected the insistence in the trans label by fans to an understandable extent. I think the issue came in when there was more in-fighting where general concern over invasive posting was misinterpreted as transphobes being transphobic.

As for what you said about how it personally affected you - I kinda get it, I do, but I also feel like I saw a lot of people posting similar mindsets with the argument "stop calling Gerard a milf, I'm gnc and I hate that" which kinda assumes everyone of the same gender completely agrees on acceptable terms. It just never made sense to me, personally. Like, I personally relate to Gerard's approach at gender expression a lot but I am able to recognize we are different people. Gerard has referred to himself as "girl" multiple times before so I don't think using the gay she & her in the appropriate context is the end of the world.

Ultimately, yes I agree seeking out precise labels when none of this is our business is probably not the best thing to do.

#mcrhottakes #long post

[pellaaearien]

20 Questions for fic writers

@five-and-dimes, @signiorbenedickofpadua, AND @cuubism all tagged me in this, and when three of your favourite writers ask you to do a thing, you do it. SO! Here goes.

How many works do you have on Ao3?

A nice round 25 😊

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

540, 538. I should update my portfolio.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Sandman, right now. Technically I still write for Doctor Who and maybe Lucifer but frankly it's all I can do to manage one fic right now, so.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

They're mostly Lucifer fics, I'm surprised. I thought AWFA would have passed them by now. The Devil You Know (1955), 100 Ways (1696), What Dreams May Come (1626), White Days (1533) and rounding it out with Doctor Who, Fool Me Once (1474). I'm kinda proud of that last one.

5. Do you respond to comments?

Usually, yes. I try to.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't really write angsty endings tbh. Not my jam. Probably a toss up between the ending of The World is Unraveling, because it ends on a cliffhanger, and maybe Out of the Cold, because it ends ambiguously, but nothing I'd characterize as angsty.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I mean, the rest are all definitely happy, enough that I have trouble picking just one. The first one I thought of, though, is To Hell and Back, because it ends with a wedding.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Thankfully not. The worst I get are vague comments about "I wish you hadn't written it like this" which are hurtful, but I ignore.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

The ace kind. In that, I've been told that my smut reads like it was written by an ace person (it was a compliment).

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I write crossovers very rarely, because I find they tend to stray crackier than I intend. However, I am pretty proud of the Doctor Who/Lucifer crossover I wrote based on the Impossible Planet episode. (Mistaken Identity)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so. I've had people write their own version of my fic? Which was flattering, but also made me feel kind of odd.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I'm aware of. That would be really cool.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not really, no, unless bouncing ideas off a discord counts.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

I don't have one. I get REALLY into one ship in the moment, and then I move on to the next, which doesn't mean that I love the previous ships any less, or that I love the current ship more, it's just what happens to be bouncing around my brain at any given time.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Can I answer 'all of them'? Truthfully I think Locum Tenens has to take that spot, I started posting it with the notion that getting traction on it would make me want to continue, but the idea of writing what I have planned for it is SUCH a daunting prospect. I never say never but that fic will be a LOT of work.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Character. I'm good at keeping voice consistent, at getting into a character's head and really understanding how and why they would react a certain way. I'm also really good at making connections, at drawing on things from canon to use in a new light.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I am SLOW. I only put something down if it's what I really want to say, and I edit as I go, so my pace usually hovers around the hundreds of words per hour. I also think I'm bad at writing emotional scenes, but in this I compare myself to others, and I know that's a false dichotomy, because obviously my writing isn't going to affect me emotionally the same as someone else's. I just feel like I consistently fall short of the ideal in my head, but I guess that's common to all writers for the most part.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Awkward, generally. As a linguist, I couldn't live with myself if I didn't get everything absolutely perfect, and it's hard for me to justify including whole lines in a different language in a fic written in English. That's not to say I've never done it, but most of the time if I want to use other languages I'll just pepper in a few words here and there.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I'm going to draw a distinction here. The first fandom I wrote for, where I was on tumblr and engaged in actual fandom stuff, was Doctor Who. My first published fic on Ao3 was for Dragon Age (Skyhold Slept), and my first fic I ever wrote (published nowhere, I was twelve) was for LotR, but I did not, and still don't, consider myself a part of their respective fandoms. Maybe that's a silly distinction, but I consider immersing myself in and engaging with other fans and content an integral part of how I write now, when it hasn't been, historically.

20. Favourite fic you've written?

That's like asking me to choose between my children. I'm going to cop out and say every fic is my favourite while I'm writing it, so it's Another Word For Ache. Sorry I don't have a more interesting answer to round this off.

Aaaaand I feel like a lot of people have been tagged, so how about @themirokai, @delta-pavonis, @thewollfgang, @moorishflower, @eidetictelekinetic and anyone else who wants to play!

#pella answers #tag games #talking about my writing #thanks for asking!

[cinderfeather]

20 Questions For Writers

Yay, thank's for the tag @sinvulkt! I've seen this going round and been hoping to participate.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

21

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

81,221 words! That's basically a novel, although split out across many shorter works.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Almost all my works are Star Wars (Luke & Vader or occasionally prequals Anakin), then DC (Superman). I only have one fic about Superman posted, but I do have quite a few drafts about him.

I also try to write origional works, but I find it a lot harder to create something I feel is as compelling without having 'the iceberg of canon' beneath it. (Granted I've made a lot of progress on trying to write origional works since I started writing fanfic.)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Operation CHEER LUKE UP AFTER BESPIN (Star Wars OT)

282 kudos

This was the first fic I ever posted. I do want to finish this one, but I'm currently facing a challenging plothole, so I keep waiting till I've finished up whatever other WIP I'm working on, and then after finishing a WIP I want a break before coming back to writing a fic again, except that after a break I come up with another WIP idea…

2. Whose Propaganda is it Anyway? (Star Wars OT)

134 kudos

I'm surprised this beat Mistaken Son-dentity, given that it gets quite serious toward the end. But rereading it again I forgot how fun the first part was, and the way the first line eches the last.

3. Mistaken Son-dentity (Star Wars OT)

120 kudos

I love the crack in this one, I often think back on it if I need a way to cheer myself up but don't have access to my Ao3 bookmarks (given that I wrote it it's much easier to play in my head).

4. Skeptics of the Force (Star Wars OT)

119 kudos

I'm very proud of this one. It's the longest thing I've ever finished, and it grew from what I thought would be 7,000 words to 36,000 words. I edit very slowly so that was a Marathon! The plot and foreshadowing was very complex, so by the end it I was playing whack-a-mole with all the inconsistencies.

5. Hide (Star Wars OT)

111 kudos

I'm surprised this one was so well loved, it's very short and I was hesitant to post it because it felt a bit unfinished and like just the start of something. So I'm glad I did!

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, occasionally I miss some but in general I try to keep up with them. If someone gives me unsolicited constructive critisim I generally don't reply, but I'm reluctant to delete their comment.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmm. So there are several top contenders:

Initially I thought The Haunting of Order-66 might be it, but then I realised that while that was one of the angster ones, it actually had quite a hopeful ending.

Alone is sad, but I don't quite feel it has the gut punch to be the top contender.

Ghost is also pretty up there, but I'd say the ending leans more into horror than 'angst'.

The above two lean into 'not getting there in time', but I think the betrayal in 'Can't Go Home' elevates the angst to another level. (I double-checked The Right Hand of Justice because it Very Much explores betrayal, but the acceptance and teeny tiny thread of hope laced into the end knocks it from first place.)

So Can't Go Home is the winner!

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hmm. I think Rivers of Lava, Rivers of Life has a beautiful ending.

8. Do you get hate on your fic?

There's a lot of imaginary hate in my head when I'm working through those last few edits before I post something 😅. Occasionally people have said they didn't like some of the ways my characters behaved, but I think it's mostly just being annoyed at them, not at the fic.

9. Do you write smut?

I don't have any posted, but there is some in my drafts. If I edited some I'm not sure if I'd post it under this account or make another I keep separate.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Sort of. I stumbled across the song 'I Know Those Eyes/This Man is Dead' (from The Count of Monte Cristo musical) and instantly went 'This has EPIC Vader/Padme reunion vibes. I promptly went and wrote a fic based on those vibes alone, and then after I finished I watched a film adaptation and read the book so I finally knew what was going on (because I knew if I looked up what was happening before I wrote the fic my perfectionism would get in the way and I'd never end up writing it).

Now, after reading the giant tome that was The Count of Monte Cristo I have an idea for a more accurate crossover called 'The Sith of Monte Cristo,' but (as I predicted) I feel too overwhelmed to write that one.

In addition, when I read Hamlet last year for the first time in my life, I was entranced and sketched out a Luke!Hamlet AU, but I also feel like that might be quite a bit of work so I haven't been motivated enough to write that either.

Finally, The Right Hand of Justice technically falls into the crossover category on Ao3, but it doesn't feel like a myth retelling makes sense to label a 'Crossover'.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

If Ao3 ever been scraped as a dataset into a Large-Language-Model.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not yet, I can only speak one language. Feel free to offer if you'd like to translate one of mine, though!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Not yet!

14. What‘s your all-time favourite ship?

Um, does 'Superman/anyone' count? I love Clois, but sometimes I wish there were more AUs so it wasn't just Superman/Reporter all the time. I also love a good Clex, the enimies-to-lovers angst is delicious. I am super down for Superbat - it has the double the Identity Shennagins from Clois with a light dose of the Enimies-To-Lovers angst from Clex.

However, this might be weird, but I'm really, really down for Superman/Female Origional Character, just someone fun and quirky and quite fleshed out but a bit different to Lois's personality (because I have read mountains and mountins of Clois and while it's amazing I sometimes get a little bored of the narrowness of reporter life and the 'in love with Superman, in friends with Clark' tropes). I have a few drafts of this, but then I worry that a female OC in fandom won't be very popular so I don't clean them up 😅

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Um. Um. I mean I want to finish 'Cheer Luke Up' and I will, okay, I will. It just could possibly take up to quite a number of years before I get back into it. I'm getting faster at editing, so one day it might not take that much work to finish up. I think it's just past the half-way point at the moment.

16. What’s your writing strengths?

I'm really proud of a lot of the cosmic horror I've done! I think it has a great sense of a slow buildup of dread, and then some really unique and otherworldly horrors, tinged with just the right amount of wonder and awe.

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

Perfectionism. The initial draft isn't too hard, but it usually takes at a minimum a full week of being mostly focused on it to months for anything above 5k words. It tends to exhaust and frustrate me so much.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Haven't done it yet (unless you count me makeing up stuff that sounds like Latin or outright using Latin in one or two sentences). As long as it fits well, but I think excessive use of it could frustrate the reader.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Star Wars Origional Trilogy

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

Aaaaaahh. I think Stride of Terror is an awesome 'Vader captures Luke' fic, 'Cheer Luke Up' is the silliest, wildest, unhinged crack, Skeptics of the Force gazes into the abyss, and The Sith in Yellow is a really impressive piece of cosmic horror.

I'm going to say Skeptics of the Force, because out of all my fics when I think about how to bind one into a book it's that one that I want the most.

Tag time (if you wish to): @andyboops, @insertmeaningfulusername, @smolavidreader, @overallobsessiveness, @softlysuited, @softieskywalker

#ask game #tag game #tagging game #20 questions #20 Questions For Writers #star wars writer #fanfic writer #ao3 writer

[nonuggetshere]

Asked a question about one au, and got a mention of another au half off, a great deal if I say so myself. XD Speaking of AUs, now you have me intrigued about the arranged marriage AU that you mentioned. I would absolutely love to hear more about that as well if you're willing. -An absolute sucker for various outcomes of various situations known as AUs 🍂

SORRY FOR DISAPPEARING, I was too tired to comprehensively explain this AU LMAO

So anyway, this AU isn't actually that well developed, but that's fine because talking about AUs helps me brainstorm them and develop them further (FaaF for example was a WAAAAY different AU before I started telling my bestie about it) so this is very convenient for me (so yeah this is also the first time I'm talking about this AU publically, no tag for it yet)

Excuse my rambling, I'm pretty much going to brainstorm in this post LMAO

Originally, Petunia was going to be related to Vespa, either her bastard child or grandchild that she marries off in exchange for training the Pure Vessel, but I was very, very unhappy with this idea from the get-go. With how opposed Vespa is to the entire plan in the game it would have been very OOC for her to do this in my opinion, and while I am a big advocate for "canon is just a suggestion" and am not too pressed about accurate characterisation, changing a character only to prop up the other is the only thing I cannot vibe with. Truly, the only reason Vespa even came to mind in the first place is because she's the closest and most convenient bee royalty, which...isn't a great reason to change her Singular Canon Trait, in my opinion.

Instead, I think I'm just going to have to plop down another bee kingdom reasonably nearby Hallownest but not a part of it. This does mean I could get to explore Petunia's parents as characters, which I've been meaning to do for a while (I don't talk about her past often because it isn't fully finished, but her mother wasn't a good parent. It's something they and Flower bond over in main FaaF AU).

Pale King, looking for any opportunity to sharpen his Pure Vessel's skills, works out an agreement with them. Their "problem child" will be married off to his vessel and he'll accept them into his family and they will be treated as such even post-sealing, and in exchange, her bees will help train the vessel.

Although she's not a good parent and pretty much just wants an easy way out of her problems with her son, she still loves him in her own weird, problematic way. So she only agreed to this because she was filled in on the basics of the Pure Vessel's nature and with the promise that they're not actually alive, in her mind marrying Petunia off isn't a problem if the said spouse is barely above an object. In her mind, Petunia will still get to live her life and date and do whatever she wants and won't have the obligations of a normal political marriage because nobody's actually expecting her to be loyal to an object, but now she's not her problem but the Pale King's, and maybe the two of them can have a normal relationship now that they don't constantly bicker and fight.

This of course doesn't go according to plan.

Petunia's mother's opinions of her daughter and their relationship couldn't be further from the truth, and if she thinks dropping them off to be a part of some other family will fix their problems then she's deeply mistaken. Petunia is not the kind to forgive easily and she sees this as just another slight from their mother, that she demands that Petunia respect her and be nice to her but doesn't actually want to put any of the work into fixing her wrongs and their relationship. So this entire situation just infuriates Petunia, who hates his mother even more now, and on top of it they feel alone and scared in a new kingdom, surrounded by strangers - and man are the nobles here complete assholes.

Petunia and Flower meet as teens and are married off shortly after they both turn 18 and then Petunia moves to Hallownest. They share a room and everything, and at first, Flower is very, very unhappy about their arrangement. They didn't want to get married to this stranger, that wasn't how they imagined their wedding day, and now they lost one of the very few safe spaces for them where they could be themself and relax in private.

But the more they live together and interact with one another, Flower starts not minding Petunia as much. They're always so unusually nice to them, despite knowing of their nature. And, okay, they'll admit it, they're actually kinda cute.

Flower finally reveals themself to Petunia when they one day return to their room after training and find her crying on the bed. They want to comfort her somehow, she was always so nice to them and they want to repay them.

Instead, they damn near give Petunia a heart attack. On the plus side, he's not crying anymore? It's hard to cry when a supposed statue is talking to you

They eventually calm down, and then they're just bewildered, honestly

"Why- why would you reveal your secret to me?"

"Because you were sad, I hate seeing you sad... And also no one will believe you."

So after this, they actually start to develop a friendship. Flower can actually act like themself at the end of the day again, and honestly, it's actually kind of nice to be able to talk to somebody who isn't their little sister.

Petunia can vent to them about their life and they always listen and try to support her, and similarly, they finally have somebody who they can rely on and vent to.

Petunia eventually started going out with them and Hornet, and sometimes he even managed to convince the Pale King to let him take Flower along to the city whenever they didn't have any other duties.

Petunia eventually settled into Hallownest nicely with their and Hornet's help, and aside from occasional hiccup with their mother whenever she'd remember their existence and write a letter their life was pretty good.

Over the course of the next few years, they grew extremely close together and naturally eventually started catching feelings. Cue the good old secret romance. Petunia even tried to convince them to reveal themself and not be sealed, but he knew that if Flower's anything it's extremely stubborn and there was no changing their mind once they set out to accomplish something.

This all went to shit the second Flower's knighting ceremony goes awry

Instantly, Petunia's mother treats it as a break of their deal and demands Pale King return her child home and for the marriage to be broken. She of course doesn't ask Petunia's opinion even once. Meanwhile, Pale King is busy trying to, you know, save his kingdom, so he essentially tells her to suck it and wait until after he deals with more pressing issues because he doesn't have the time now to handle their divorce.

On the plus side, Petunia's presence does mean Flower feels more comfortable and safer around the palace. Their spouse is literally the last saving grace in all of this.

That's all I could think up at the koment

Though to be fair, I am not happy about this version either. It honestly would have been better if I could get the Vespa version to work, but currently, I have no idea how to do that. Aside from it being just way more convenient, I also greatly prefer political drama within Hallownest rather than bringing up a distant kingdom into this. So I guess if you have any suggestions, feel free to hit me with them!

#asks #thylacines can talk

[peonac]

I’m so glad to have a friend who enjoys One Piece! How did you get into it? Do you have a favourite character? One you can’t stand? A favourite arc? Any fic recs?

I WAS FUCKING WAITING MY WHOLE LIFE FOR THIS ASK. NOT EVERYONE KNOWS IT BUT ONE PIECE IS THE SERIES OF MY LIFE. I CAN'T IMAGINE AN EXISTENCE WITHOUT IT!

probably the longest post I have ever made incoming:

I got into it in April 2003 (I was 11 at that time). Watching anime on TV was the only way for me and my brothers, there was no computer and internet around. We were hooked since episode 1 and never missed an episode, we would watch all the re-runs and be hyped about every epic moment and cry our eyes out at every tragedy or happy moment. Laughing our asses off at the jokes (Skypiea and Thriller Bark are imo the funniest!) And since then I'm a huge fan, though there were several years I lost touch. I picked up the series again a few months ago and stopped at the beginning of the Wano arc (due to low energy, yk how it is with taking care of the family etc).

And OMG I have so many faves!!! Nami!!! Her arc inspired me so much I took her name as my nickname. For a lot of rl friends, I'm just Nami, sometimes my teachers were confused and asked me if it's my middle name fklsdhfsjdůlkasd!!! She is so caring! Big sis vibes!

Zoro! He is so cool! Do I need to explain this? (also I find his relationship with women really interesting, the guy is so traumatized! And also he would literally die for you!) Devil Child Nico Robin. She is smart, powerful as hell and MORBID and her sense for cute things is just immaculate. The episode when she got to be part of the Strawhats is still one of my favorites. Maybe I'm mistaken but she is the only one that invited herself and not because Luffy told her so. I... okay, I will stop because otherwise, I will write a whole ass essay about her and why she is THE QUEEN of all queens!

The future king of the pirates Monkey D. Luffy! Period.

Trafalgar [redacted] Law.

*GRABS YOUR CHEEKS*

*PULLS YOU VERY CLOSE, OUR NOSES TOUCH*

You will understand once you watch more.

PERONA. I don't know why but I fell in love with her so hard I want for her to be real so I can propose to her! (but I also ship her with Zoro)

And here is a list of others I like: the whole strawhat crew (Jimbei ofc included), Sir Crocodile, Bartolomeo the Cannibal (I couldn't get enough of him, he is so silly), Donquixote Rosinante, Smoker, Tashigi (I ship her with Zoro too, wtf is with me to ship Zoro with so many characters!), Bon (Mr. 2), Boa Hancock, Bepo. I'm sure there are more, but I will stop here haha. I hate Donquixote Doflamingo, the Cipher Pol agents, Big Mom (she...I... she is a monster, like...wow), Buggy the Clown (imo the most pathetic anime guy in history, but the comedy around him is good), most of the Marines (what a bunch of assholes, really, it's a mirror to our world) and ugh, I'm sure there are more, but I can't remember XD! Fave arcs: Arlong Park, Loguetown, Alabasta Saga, Sky Island Saga, Enies Lobby, Thriller Bark, Summit War Saga And here begins the controversy, ofc I'm not including the Wano arc because I haven't seen it whole yet...But I'm not able to enjoy the after-time-skip arcs. Great animation moments, the story is amazing too, but the pacing is just so bad. So many fillers within the episodes too, Dressrosa was a torture to watch. So if I just judge it by story everything is great! Maybe reading the manga would be the better choice. But I didn't want to miss the great animation.

I haven't read any fics yet but I have a few in my marked for later list:

What I enjoy the most are artists that create nice little stories and AUs! I'm going to make a separate post and tag you, the list is too long!

#one piece my beloved #one piece is something one needs to experience it can't be described shortly why it's so f good #it has also the best female cast in whole shonen imo #also Oda said TRANS LIFES MATTER #I can recall only OP and MHA with trans representation and the good thing is it doesn't serve to a general imaginary #favourite #ask

[gilbirda]

Rant about negativity in fandom spaces and bullying people just trying to have fun on tumblr below:

I thought that by being so online I would be free of all the "real" comic book fans and the purists and the people that would dismiss fanon based on the grounds that fanon=wrong and canon=good.

But I was mistaken.

Could we please, as a fandom, stop trying to justify pure hatred saying that one is above the other?

Or my favorite argument:

This hc is not based on canon, so is not only untrue, but also harmful, and people that like this are delusional

Hello?

Headcanon means, canon from my head, it's right in the name!

"Not based in canon" yeah because it comes from my head

"Is not realistic" we are talking about men that wear spandex and say stupid shit about justice

"i hate that people headcanon X character as X. It is simply not in the source material, stop making shit up" Hello yes, the canon from my head looked more interesting so im picking that one

Is not that deep, people.

Sometimes I wonder: what if this but with little changes? What if i want to live vicariously via this funky little men? what if I just want to see some weird shit?

what if the canon material is so convoluted, confusing, half baked and/or incomplete that I just fill the gaps with my own ideas?

and if those ideas resonate with people in the fandom - well, that's fun! we can exchange ideas, compare ideas, create new ideas!

But to actively do harm to people having headcanons and fanon version of something, that's just ya'll being bullies.

That's bullying people online.

"If they don't agree with me then just unfollow me"

well that's the thing about tumblr! you get posts shoved in your face, you visit the character tag, a mutual reblogs a bad take(tm) and then you see so much unprompted hatred for a harmless thing and then what?

It just annoys me, but someone else could feel so bad that they leave fandom altogether, or fear that the funny and kind friend they made online actually hates what they love with such passion that they make harmful posts about it on their blogs.

Fucking grow up. Canon is not "better", fanon is not "worse". Not agreeing with fanon is fine, not all takes are up your alley, not all headcanons are interesting to you. But don't make posts detailing why those are "bad", "harmful", "stupid" and/or "dont make any sense".

Nobody needs that negativity in fandom spaces.

#fandom #rant #fandom spaces #yes this is about dc fandom #specifically batman #but actually ive seen this shit in every fandom that fanon was wild and had a lot of headcanons and fanon lore #like danny phantom #every time i see a post like those i think 'did you get your 5 mins of fame? did you get the hatred processed?' #i dont agree with many fanon things but do i go to fandom spaces that DO like those hc and say 'um actually this is stupid'? NO I DONT

[doukeshi-kun]

i'm kinda venting ab my blog here. sorry im really upset

honestly now i'm no longer happy with the blog. i can't fucking brain how my explicit smut drabbles did not get flagged and hidden while my fluff suggestive fic did. it's very unfair and i'm seriously upset at this. it did not appear on the tag (1) and it got flagged (2) immediately after. absurd and ridiculous. i'm considering to delete doukeshi-writes and restart it or something. but restarting is not easy either. (edit : oh i was mistaken. both did get flagged. so fuck both of you.)

this drains my excitement wholly. i don't feel happy posting thing while constantly being wary about my fics getting hidden and flagged. i hate everything that happened to that blog. i started doukeshi-writes to start anew from beandaifuku. and then all this bullshit is happening. it was good for the first several weeks. now it is not.

i don't want to leave yet because i know i still enjoy this hobby but i really hate what happened. two or three fics flagged? okay fine. whatever. i take it. if it is flagged weeks and months after i posted it, i could care less. but it is flagged just barely 30 minutes in. on a fluff suggestive fic. and the thing is only my NIKOLAI FICS got flagged 30 minutes after posting. the jjk drabbles, bsd drabbles, they're usually got flagged when i don't care about them anymore — like weeks and months after.

i know about “don't write for notes, just write for yourself blablabla” but i posted them to share. i wrote them to share. if what i spend my time on ended up not reaching audiences, then i might just keep it in my secret stash from the get go. i know when a post get flagged, the notes and the engagement decrease dramatically. i witnessed it in my activity bar in beandaifuku. one of my jjk scenarios that had been posted still received atleast 20 new notes per day months after. until it was flagged, it barely gets 10 notes per day. probably 5, 7... fucking 1. not to mention people don't reblog things so that's one factor of not getting anything.

this is very stupid. it's not even mixed feelings atp. i hate community labels and i hate this (doukeshi-writes) blog. 10/10 experience! would never do it again!

i will go study and then sleep. see you tomorrow for nikolai anime debut — if i'm happy enough to open this god forsaken app

#small rant