#not to even mention the time I jumped off a bridge which I love to being up bc it was cool | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

maximumkillshot · 5 months

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I Can't Lose You- Part 7

Warnings: Descriptions of Grief, PTSD Flashback, Intense Grief, Mentions of Miscarriage, Pissed off Lee Know, Anxiety, Panic, Everyone is hurting but you knew this... right?

Pairing: Bang Chan x Reader

Characters: Stray Kids, Reader, Nurse, Soo?

A/N: Okay her we are with part 7 the song that I linked is what I had on repeat for part 6 &7 for the most part... I am so sorry and as always I'll be around for therapy after. If you really wanna cry, listen to what I listened to while writing this about 98% of the time, Can You Hold Me by NF and Britt Nicole.

I Can't Lose you Masterlist-CLICK HERE

Stray Kids Masterlist-CLICK HERE

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ANY WORK THAT YOU SEE ON OTHER SITES THAT ARE MY WORKS PLEASE NOTIFY ME IMMEDIATELY.

BEFORE: His body went into overdrive, the shock melting into panic. He wasn’t going to let Death take you, “Han hurry up, she's slipping!” He screamed at the door. His scream didn’t sound like him. The sound akin to a bystander watching a loved one jump from a bridge. Watching the body disappear all because of one step. He couldn’t wouldn’t let you fall. He screamed as if he dove for your hand, the same hand that fits so perfectly in his, as you threatened to disappear over the ledge of that bridge. Bin got closer to your ear, so you could hear him better, “Please don’t say that. I know it hurts, just stay with me, hold on. I’m here. Stay with me. You can’t leave me here, please.” Changbin tilted your head, so you could hear his heartbeat. Subconsciously thinking, If you go I go. He gently wrapped his arm across your breastbone, trying to provide some soothing pressure to your chest. His hand resting on your opposite arm, rubbing the meat of it in a soothing pattern. His other hand was petting your hair. The hold he had you in gave you someone to hold on to. As soon as his forearm rested you wrapped your hands around it, grabbing his hand as you dangled on the ledge. “Binnie it hurts, pleaseee. Help me, it hurtss.” You sobbed, your voice cracking and breaking, a mirror of your soul. Bin continued to slowly rock you, “I know Angel, I know I want to take it away. Just hold on for me. Hold on to me.” He had no idea how he was able to be calm for you. A part of him knew that he needed to. He was not going to collapse so you could face all of this on your own. He refused. He needed to fight for you, and he would, for eternity if he had to.

NOW:

The boys were trying their hardest to be calm, but some just couldn’t handle it. I.N. and Felix being the two that were physically holding their heads, crouched in the fetal position, trying to cover their ears as they heard your screams in the hallway.

Hyunjin went over to them and picked them up, their forms curling into him as they cried. Hyunjin couldn’t pinpoint why your screams sounded so unhuman, subconsciously trying to find a way to help. Once reality set in he realized, none of them had ever heard the scream of a mother who lost their child… not until today. That made chills go up his spine as goosebumps riddled his skin. That was why it sounded so unhuman. His mother once told him, “Children are supposed to bury their parents, not the other way around.” He found himself repeating those words out loud as tears fell down his face. He never thought he’d understand those words, but now that he does, he was numb, numb with pain.

I.N.’s heart was breaking for you as he heard you calling out to no one, asking for the impossible. He was trying to be strong but hearing you in so much pain was too much. “I want to help her Hyung but I don’t know how.” That broke Hyunjin even more because he couldn’t do anything. No one could.

Hyunjin rubbed his back saying,“We can only be here for her, Innah. We need to be here, make sure she knows we aren’t going anywhere. That’s all we can do. I wish we could do more, but we can’t.”

Felix was crying because the only thing that could happen was him hearing the screams of a person that he loves, a best friend he considers as his sister, while he can’t do anything at all. The frustration combined with the sadness sliced through him.

Seungmin was the one member whom no one expected to cry yet there he was, crying. No one in the entire group knew he was one of the most hurt. His reactions to everything were visceral. If he wasn’t using the railing lining the hall, he was certain his legs would give out. He faced the wall sobbing, feeling the cold wall on his forehead. He didn’t care that he was in a hallway in a hospital full of nursing staff and strangers. He had been holding all of it in for weeks now…

It all started about two months ago. When Seungmin had come over to the 3Racha house, he noticed some things. He was making some lunch while he waited for the others to come back from the gym. The minute he opened the kimchi, you ran to vomit. That coupled with the fact that you looked like you were glowing raised his suspicion. When you came back to the kitchen he said, “When was the last time you took a pregnancy test?”

You cocked your head to the side quizzicaly as he giggled, “I’m 99.9% sure that you’re pregnant. Pee on a stick just to be sure but… Yeah, congrats. I’m going to throw away everything that smells like kimchi while you check.”

He was there for all of it. Everything from staring at the test with you waiting for the verdict. He spun you around congratulating you. He helped hide the evidence. Helped plan, he was even there when you got the ultrasound, filming it for Chan so he didn’t feel like he was left out. In many ways Seungmin had a better tie to that child than anyone else aside from you. He imagined everything with you.

Ever since he saw I.N. storm out to kill Chan… he checked out emotionally. He couldn’t handle the pain. He couldn’t ignore it anymore when he heard your screams. He thought of all the names you’d send him to see if they’d sound good. If it was a boy, you were incessant on Seungmin. You wanted to name the baby after him because he had “noticed first.” But he got you to change it to Chanseung, meaning “lingering victory”. This whole time...Every scream you let loose he heard the baby’s heartbeat as the memories flashed in and out of his mind.

He remembered the times when he would come over just to clear the kitchen of anything that’d trigger your gag reflex. His Hyungs would get pissed at him because they even labeled the items with "do not touch”, but somehow, mysteriously, Seungmin didn’t see it and ate it all… whoops. He even got up at whatever time you called to pick up whatever you were craving. Another was when you went out for a walk with him and you were telling him about all of the new things you were noticing about your body.

But his favorites were whenever you and himself would be alone in the kitchen or on the couch while everyone was distracted he’d look down at your belly, he would glance around and go to your ear just to say “They have no clue… That there’s 10 people in this house.” He’d do that just to see you try to suppress the smile on your face.

He even had dreams of going to the hospital to meet the baby. The dream always started with the phone call. Changbin would be on the other line as he picked up, “the baby’s coming, they’re already at the hospital, see you there.” Then the dream would jump to Chris walking out, “Congratulations everyone, you have a beautiful and healthy nephew. Once Y/N is cleaned up, you guys can come back to meet Chanseung.” In every single one of those dreams Seungmin would cry happy tears. When he’d be taken back, he was met with the cutest bundle, eyes like yours, a head full of curly hair like Chan’s. Chan would hand the baby to Seungmin and Changbin would say “what about me?” And you’d say, “godparents always hold the baby first.” Seungmin would look around shocked as more tears fell from his eyes, he would look at you and say “really? Me?” You’d look at him nodding with tears of your own, “How could it be anyone else, you took such good care of us, Minnie. You’d do anything for him. Your the one I trust the most with him.” He looked down to the baby and whispered “Hello Chanseung, I’ve been waiting for so long to meet you. My name's Seungmin, I’m your godfather.” He cuddled with the baby as he cried tears of joy, nothing but love and gratitude in his heart. Now that’s all they’ll ever be… Just dreams.

While everyone else was mourning as a friend, a brother, an Uncle, he mourned like a father. He felt like he lost a child. It destroyed him, ripping him apart inside, making him reflexively grab his chest, the air abundant but still suffocating, leaving him no other choice but for his chest to collapse inward as the sobs escaped.

Minho noticed that your screams didn’t sound human, closer to a wounded animal. Minho looked at Chan’s face as you screamed for your baby. He could see that Chan was sad, but it didn’t seem like he was truly grasping it. It was only when Chan’s phone lit up, that Minho’s patience snapped. He saw the name “Soo BFF Y/N” light up the screen, and before Chan could do anything about it, he snatched the phone. Minho grabbed Chris by the back of his neck, his nails digging into the meat of it. Minho spoke with a lethal air as he spat, “Waiting room… NOW.”

They ducked into the waiting room down the hall. The rest of the boys followed suit, locking the door to the room as Minho answered the call and said nothing.

“Hey Baby, you haven’t been picking up, is everything okay? What happened after I left?” Her voice rang through the waiting room.

Minho looked to Chris, and nodded to the phone, Chris responded, “No. Everything isn’t okay. Y/N was pregnant.”

There was a beat or two and she said, “Was?” Then she said, “As in not currently? I guess that is a good thing right? Considering you were going to divorce her for me anyway. A baby would’ve made it messy, no?”

Everyone’s jaws dropped. Some looking for confirmation, that they indeed heard what they did.

Chris looked at the phone like it had offended him his jaw slack, “what the fuck did you say to me?!” His face showed more emotion than hearing his wife’s soul being torn to shreds about losing the baby, “My child is dead and your response is ‘at least it’s less messy now?!’ How fucking heartless are you?” he asked.

Minho couldn’t believe what he was hearing and seeing out of Chris. He just heard his wife scream that she wants to die, that she wants to no longer exist because his child is dead. Yet the thing that gets him offended, have any reaction at all was his sidepiece saying something. Taking the first opportunity to skirt over how this all even happened. Minho wasn’t going to let him get away that easily, he spoke up, “You really are a fucking coward, huh, Chris? You won’t even tell her how all of this happened?”

Chris just bowed his head as Minho continued, “She miscarried from the shock and trauma of seeing you and her husband fucking right in front of her on their 3rd anniversary. YOU and Chris killed that child,” Minho seethed into the phone. “You want to hear what is happening to your so-called best friend? What you call, less messy?”

Minho took the phone off of the speaker and stormed down the hall. His heart was hammering in his chest, hearing of what she said playing in his head on repeat. His pain clouded his generous nature. For once, Minho doesn’t want to protect someone. He wanted Soo to feel the pain that you feel. He wants her to hear your screams. To hear your soul fracturing, hear the blood as it falls from the stab wound in your heart. That knife that no one can take out. That permanent piercing is now festering. The piercing that she and Chan personally put into one of the nicest people he’s ever met. He wants her to hurt. Just the thought of hearing Soo cry, made him smile. He wants her to suffer, truly suffer, just like he wants Chan to suffer. A part of him hates that this is what he wants but the rest of him knows, this is justified. A righteous anger. A human reaction. Which Soo cannot be.

Minho stopped outside of the room and held the phone out for Soo to hear your screams. He could somewhat hear Soo gasping at what was happening. Minho turned on the video to show her what little he could see from the door, which was your form rocking with Bin gently holding you, trying to calm you. “Hold on to me and breathe for me,” He heard Bin talking to you, trying to get you to fight.

“Binnie, please, my baby.” Minho heard your voice trembling, seeing you clutch on to Bin’s forearm. Your voice was worse than haunting, Minho could hear you trying to will your baby back.

“All you need to do is breathe and hold on to me. I’ve got you, I’m here.”

“I can’t Binnie I can’t I need my baby! Pleassee help me!” Your voice nearly gone from all of the screaming taking place.

It filled Minho with rage. The person on the phone caused this, along with your husband. Here Bin was, trying to will you to stay, to hold on to him, not anyone else. That made Minho feel better, if anyone could put you back together, make you want to stay, it’s Bin.

After being there for a minute or two Han barreled by him, all Minho did was flash the phone at him and point to the waiting room and Han nodded. He was telling him that when he was done making sure you were okay, for him to come to the room they were currently occupying with no words.

The minute Minho went back to the waiting room, he turned the speaker on to hear Soo. There was no response, only fast breathing and sniffling.

Minho tried to be quiet as he said, “Did that sound clean to you, Soo? Did that look less messy? She almost died last night, almost bled out from a hemorrhage that you both caused. She just screamed that she just wanted to die already. So tell me, what part about any of this screams a clean break?!”

Soo was silent for a moment and she said, “I never meant to hurt her, Minho.”

Minho’s blood boiled as he said, “People don’t get into cars with the goal of causing an accident and killing someone, but it happens all the same. I am so happy that you called, actually. I wanted to say this to your face but this’ll have to do. I couldn’t do this last night because I’m a decent person who was worried about one of my best friends... But now that she is being helped I can tell you. You are a sad excuse of a human being, I truly mean that. It takes a certain level of desperation to take your best friend’s sloppy seconds. Even more desperate to actually believe that he’d leave Y/N for your sorry waste of an existence. ”

Chan prickled at that, cocking his head, “As a matter of fact, the sloppy seconds is glaring at me while I say this and I don’t fucking care, as soon as I am done with you on the phone I’ll deal with him. You both destroyed someone very close to my heart. A person who has done nothing to either of you and yet you do this.”

Han walks in as Minho is grilling Soo, he whispers something to Felix and Felix goes out of the room. Minho continued, “As if what you did wasn’t enough you have the audacity to say that it was a good thing that Y/N miscarried because it would make the divorce less messy.”

Han’s eyes bulged out of his head at hearing that. No wonder why Minho wanted him here. Han felt rage at those words. Calling the death of a child that was wanted, a good thing? Minho’s lip was tight as he calmly finished his say, “I hope you know what you’re wishing for when you say you want him to yourself. If he did this to his own wife, imagine what he’d do to you… A nothing, a speck compared to Y/N. I hope you can live with yourself, but at least you’re breathing, something Y/N’s child never even got to experience because of you and Chris. I hope you rot and I hope it’s painful. Above all else, I hope that you pay in full for what you’ve done.”

Minho looked around, “Anyone want to talk to IT?” he punctuated “it” as he stared at Chris, daring him to say something. Everyone was silent and he said, “I would say it’s been a pleasure speaking to you, but that would be a lie; the only pleasure I’ll ever have is seeing you suffer.” With that, he hung up and walked to Chan, shoving the phone into his chest.

Minho stared at Chan, “Now it’s your turn… What are you doing here? Were we not clear enough for you?! What part of ‘stay away’ did you not get? Or are you that fucking stupid. She was making progress, she was sleeping and you had to come in, didn’t you.” His eyes burned into Chris.

“I just wanted to see her.” Chris said.

Minho got tunnel vision as he bore into Chan,“I… I … I.. That is all that exists for you, huh? It’s all about you. What you want, when you want, who you want, where you want. YOU wanted to see her, you didn’t even think about her wellbeing did you?! Of course you didn’t! That’s why you came in here and played the husband card over and over again. You are nothing to her. NOTHING! It baffles me how Changbin isn’t even married to her yet he’s a better husband than you will ever be!” Minho’s body betrayed him as he started to shake, “YOU DIDN’T JUST KILL YOUR CHILD… YOU KILLED WHO WE THOUGHT YOU WERE. YOU KILLED EACH ONE OF US! MOST OF ALL YOU KILLED Y/N. THE FUN LOVING, HOPEFUL Y/N IS DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU! That alone is something I will never forgive you for.”

“I’m going to give you one chance to walk out of here willingly. If you don’t, I will tell the boys to go back to the room. Then I am going to lock you in here with me, and believe me when I say you won’t like what happens next. When I’m done with you, I’ll go right back to Y/N and act like nothing happened.”

His tone was too calm, too monotone, the sound sending chills down Han’s spine.

The pain that Minho is in is something that he never shows anyone. He doesn’t like to be vulnerable. He couldn’t help but look at Chris’ wedding ring and think that he should’ve done something, anything to stop him from marrying you. He told himself that it wasn’t his relationship. He even asked Changbin if he was actually going to let this happen. Changbin just looked at him and said, “Does it kill me? Yes. Do I want to be the groom instead of the groomsman? Absolutely. But she’s happy. What I want is nothing compared to seeing her happy.” Just that singular memory gave him enough fuel to do what he had to do. He made a promise to himself in that moment, he will never let Chris close enough to be able to hurt you again.

Chris didn’t make a move, Minho could see that he was shocked. Which only fueled his rage.

Han had to cut in, “Minho… she’s asking for you.” Minho's heart twisted again as he loomed over Chris.

Minho sucked his teeth, “Even after nearly killing her, killing her child, ruining her life… Even now she’s still saving you without even knowing it. You have your chance, if I were you, I’d take it.” Minho stormed out of the room.

With that, Han looked at the rest of the boys, “Make sure he leaves, he’s already banned from the room. You are all welcome to come back up since it was clear who caused her to spiral. She wants you all as well. She’s scared we’re worried or that we’ll leave her.”

Hyunjin looked at Han and said, “We’ll be there. Go to her.”

As soon as Han left the room he saw Minho duck into your room.

When Minho came in he heard you saying, “Where’s MinMin? I don’t know what happened, m’scared Binnie, where's MinMin and Hannie? Lixie did they leave me?” Minho knew that whenever you were scared, you started using pet names. They felt safe to you. With your MinMin, Binnie, Lixie, and Hannie around, you'd be safe. Your voice is low and quivering, fear and panic clear. It's ripping him apart, reminding him almost of a child. A child trying to not let on how scared they are. You were a lot like a child in that way, you were so hurt you didn’t know who to trust, but the minute you see people you are sure won’t hurt you, you start asking for the others, knowing you can trust them to say the truth. You also reminded Minho of someone trying to cry silently, the quake in your voice giving you away.

From Minho’s view, all that could be seen is Changbin, grabbing his sweatshirt and putting it on, hood up. It was your favorite hoodie that Binnie wears, full of different stitches and felt like a cloud. He made fleeting eye contact with Minho. Just in those few seconds he could see Bin’s eyes trying to focus on not collapsing, yet trying to get Minho to understand. Minho could only imagine that what happened minutes ago was something that he had seen last night. Since Bin knew to call out to Han to get the nurses. It made his heart twist yet again, he knows that Bin isn’t used to caring for people. But you aren’t just people. You are more than that, you always have been more than that. That’s why it’s second nature to him.

“Binnie I’m scared what happened, where are my boys? Did I do something wrong, did I scare them? Will you leave too?” You asked through sniffles. Minho could see the effect those words had on Bin as he pulled the hoodie back, he spared one last gaze and flitted it towards the bed as if to say, watch me. If you can’t do what I’m about to do, don’t come in. Then he changed his face completely before turning to you and walking out of Minho’s field of vision. That killed Minho too. How Bin knew instinctually to change his face, his gaze softening.

“What happened isn’t something you need to worry about. You didn’t do anything wrong and the boys aren’t scared. I’m not going anywhere, see I was just putting my hoodie on, its your favorite. You don’t need to be afraid. I’m here. So is Lixie.” Bin’s voice was soothing, calm, steady, eventhough Minho identified the cracks in his foundation with only two seconds looking into his eyes.

Felix added as he tried to calm you saying, “We aren’t going anywhere okay? We are just making sure you’re going to be comfortable. MinMin’s coming and so is Hannie, Okay?”

Minho put on a smile, “I’m here”, hiding his pain for now. Your eyes were darting as you looked at him. Tearstains still painting your cheeks, fresh ones about to fall. You looked so dazed and confused as you looked around the room like you haven't been in it before.

You smiled at Minho, “MinMin…” more tears fell as you gaze fell on Minho’s eyes, “You didn’t leave? Binnie, Lixie, and Hannie said so but… m’scared… I don’t remember what happened,”

Minho wanted to curl you into a ball and shelter you, make sure no one could sneak up on you, that Chris couldn’t get his hands on you again, spew more poison all over this healing space, your personal space. He wanted to tuck you in and stand watch, everything in him drove him to shield and protect you. He couldn’t show that though. He couldn’t call attention to what just happened. It could upset the balance that you are in. Instead he decided on another approach.

“Binnie was right, Beautiful. What happened isn’t important right now. What matters is that we are here with you, we’re going to keep you safe, okay?” Minho reached out and dried your tears with the sleeve of his shirt.

The nurse was just finishing giving you medicine, “What’d they give you? Something good?” Minho smiled warmly. He looked to the nurse who said, “Yes, she’ll be able to sleep no doubt. We’re also giving her medicine every six hours for the anxiety,” she smiled. That made Minho smile wide. He couldn’t help but be relieved for you. You are finally getting the medicine you need.

Minho looked at her and said, “Thank you so much, for taking care of her and coming so quickly.”

She just nodded and turned the lights off.

You yawned and started tearing up a little as you reached for Bin, “Don’t leave, Binnie…Lixie.” Felix was right at your hand as he said, “M’right here, it’s going to be okay. MinMin, Bin, all of us are here to make sure you’ll be okay.” Felix could see your shoulders slowly drooping as the medicine hit you. It was clear that the medicine was making you sleepy. That made everyone smile. You have had nothing but panic, havoc, and destruction. You deserved rest.

You looked at Minho and said, “I’m tired but I want my boys. You’ll wake me when they come back MinMin?”

Minho nodded and said, “Of course, Beautiful.”

You nodded then looked to Bin, “Binnie, I’m tired, if I sleep you’ll stay with me? I don’t want to ask too much, but can I have cuddles while I sleep?” Everyone in the room could tell that you were looking for constant reassurance. You just got out of a bad PTSD flashback, triggered by the man that caused the trauma, all on top of getting no sleep. Han walked in after making sure that Chris couldn’t make it back into the room, only walking in after he was sure Chris was in the elevator and clear of the area.

When Changbin heard you calling out to him, saying you’re scared he just wanted to hold and protect you. He successfully coaxed you out of the flashback. His whole being broke when you came out of it so disoriented. The first things you asked Bin was, “Why did he do that? Why did they do that I don’t know why? What happened?” Then immediately after, “I’m scared.” He didn’t know what to say to that first half. It’s inconceivable how anyone could cheat on anyone, especially someone like you. Trying to answer that question would only prove to be more frustrating for you than anything. Apparently the shock was written on Bin’s face as the nurse explained.

The nurses gently talked to Bin about what he was seeing, he’s never seen you like this and they explained that when someone comes out of a flashback episode, they are very confused. Sometimes they don’t know where they are or what happened. He learned that it was necessary to be very calm in repeating yourself, and ensuring the person coming out of it that everything is going to be okay and that they are safe. The nurse that was in the room with you was the one who coached Bin through the worse of it. He just had to keep pushing, to make you feel safe. He himself was also on the brink of collapse. The wall he made in his mind, to hold all the emotions inside around you, started failing long ago. More rubble falling by the minute.

Bin was trying to be as strong as he could be as he got into the bed with you, pulling you to him, and petting your hair back, “Of course we can cuddle. I am not going anywhere okay? I wouldn’t dream of it. Just take deep breaths. Let the medicine work, Angel.” He looked at you, so small, sweaty, tired, fragile. Felix immediately started tucking you in. Taking time to ensure sealing all of the edges of your body to stay nice and warm. Then he moved your hand to cuddle Bin, knowing that you’d want it there. He resumed his place at your back, he re-tied your gown that was coming loose, then slowly rubbing circles on your back, trying to soothe you. Bin tried to figure out how Chris could hurt someone so precious to him, to all of them. He couldn’t wrap his brain around it. Like that, more bricks fell from the wall.

“M’safe?” You asked Bin, eyes still brimming with unshed tears as you looked up at him. As soon as they were knocked free he used his thumb to wipe them away.

With me…“Always. No one is going to hurt you.” Not while I’m here. He brushed your cheekbone, you head leaning into his touch reflexively. More of the wall crashed to the ground. He gently guided your head down to his chest.

Even though you were being forcibly calmed by the medicine, he could see it. Your eyebrows were tense, still a quiver in your lip. The worst was the shaking. As he held you he could feel the tremble in your entire body. Your hands shook as you held on to his hoodie, rubbing the pattern to calm yourself.

After a few minutes passed, the boys went to come back in, but Han stopped them, just to explain to them what happened. He also gave them the rundown of how to talk to you and redirect and reassure you, that way you can rest.

“She doesn’t look like herself right now, that’s because she is still in a very fragile mental state, she’s going to repeat herself, she’s going to say she’s scared, a lot of things that will make you want to break. You cannot break in front of her. That can make her worse. If you need I can guide you through it. Just stay close to me, okay?”All of the boys nodded and went in. Minho let you know.

“Minnie, you here?” You asked.

“Yes I am, Birdie.” Seungmin said as he walked into your field of vision getting down to your level, “Getting sleepy, Birdie?” You nodded as tears started to spring to your eyes.

Seungmin’s nickname for you is Birdie. When you started hanging out with him more, he noticed something. Whenever you had a song stuck in your head, you would sing it on repeat. Your voice was always very soft, shy, melodic. It reminded him of the morning birds, so one day he called you Birdie and you smiled ear to ear. No one heard him call you that until now, since Seungmin is more an observer than a talker.

“If I sleep, you won’t go anywhere? I’m scared you’ll leave and I won’t see you again.” your tears fell as you looked directly into Seungmin’s eyes.

Seungmin whispered, “Oh my sweet Birdie,” as he kissed your forehead trying not to cry, drying your tears immediately, “You don’t need to be scared, I’m not going anywhere without you. You will always have me, okay? Right now all you need to do is rest, okay Birdie?”

You nodded then said, “Jinnie and Innie too? They’re here too?”

“Mhm, everyone’s here, Birdie.” Seungmin is doing his best to see you relax, lightly petting your hair, “So just close your eyes for me, let yourself rest, we’re here.” As if on command you slowly closed your eyes. What he doesn’t know is Innah is trying not to cry. Seeing the interaction cracking him open again.

Your breathing started calming and as Bin felt your body relax into him, your grip completely loosening. Seungmin didn’t stop petting your hair until he was sure you were out. Only then, did he go to IN’s side, where IN’s tears soaked into his shirt.

Bin played with your hand for a few seconds, seeing how delicate they are as well as gauging how asleep you are. Seeing no reaction from you he draped his hand over yours as he heard a ghost of mere minutes ago, ‘Please just let me die. Let me go.’ The wall collapsed and he started crying. Trying not to shake you at all as he kissed the crown of your head.

“No one’s going to hurt you, I promise. I got you. You’re going to be okay. You have to be.” Bin didn’t care who saw him. He felt so helpless, his soul is breaking for you as he cradled you. He can’t help but think that it’s all his fault. How could it not be? He didn’t follow his gut, he didn’t make the move, and now you’re suffering because of it. He kissed your hairline as he did his best to stop the pain in his chest, worried that you’d hear his heart breaking.

Minho watched as tears fell down his face. Seeing you like this and Bin, the one who gave up his own happiness… Handed his heart over to another man, only to see his heart used and abused. He could feel the pain radiating off of Bin. Minho heard a sniffle and looked to Seungmin. Seungmin always had a placid smile to his face, all Minho found was a quivering lip, tears falling, as he watched Bin.

Seungmin was seeing how perfect you are together, like he always saw, and seeing how broken you both are, yet you are both so strong together. That made Seungmin cry. Even though both of you are in agony right now, torn to shreds, you still clung to eachother, making a silent pact to make it together.

“You can’t leave me here…” He leaned back to see you. Another specter paid a visit, ‘Binnie it hurts. Help me pleaseee’. He felt his chest caving in at the memory. He willed himself to breathe normally, each pull of air burning his lungs, the muscles wanting to constrict. He cradled your head, trying to keep you as close to his heart as possible, “I need you, My Angel.” Bin felt Felix’s hand wrap around his shoulders, much like Bin would do for Lix when he cried.

Bin couldn’t imagine a world without you in it. A life without you. He knows the pain alone would kill him, kill all the boys. Your love, friendship, and loyalty is second to none. You are just that way. That beautiful, that kind, that irreplaceable. That is what makes Bin distraught, the thought of no you in the world… even finishing that sentence is unimaginable.

Han looked up at Bin, trying to will himself not to cry. The both of you are so sweet, so kind. He could see the weight on Bin’s shoulders, crushing him. He could see it in his head, Bin keeping everything bad from crashing on top of you, his arms outstretched, using his whole body as a shield. Han knew that if it meant keeping you safe, Bin would carry the world. That’s what separated Bin from Chris.

Both may be fond of you. Only one has ever put your safety over everything. Only one ever made you feel heard and seen. Only one ever made you laugh until you cried. Only one would take off work to take care of you when you’re sick. Only one made you understand that there is no priority above you. Only one would calm you with just a touch. Only one truly loves you with their heart and soul. That “only one” was in the bed with you right now.

Han watched, eventually just letting the tears fall as Bin held you saying, “I’m sorry I didn’t protect you, I’m sorry. I love you… I’m so sorry. Don’t leave me.”

That was the first time Changbin had ever let himself say it out loud, “I love you so much it hurts…I Can’t Lose You.”

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oneshotnewbie · 7 months

Note

A jogger finds a phone and calls the cops. When they take it and put it into a zip back, they accidentally turn on the phone - revealing a picture of The Captain of the SVU and Reader?

Possible trigger warning: This one-shot includes the mention of blood and kidnapping, the plots are presented. If this triggers you too easily or you just can´t handle the subject, I urge you NOT to read this work. I am NOT embellishing this topic under any circumstance. Read at your own risk.

ᕚ---ᕘ

William Jacobs ran across the Brooklyn Bridge at the same time every morning, trying to beat his best time. But today he desperately thought about turning back and skipping today's sports session - the weather was playing into his cards.

Despite all the negative voices in his head, the young man ran from the Brooklyn bridge to the Manhattan Central Park and back. At this early hour there were hardly any passers-by and only occasionally a few cars drove past. As he took his first step off the bridge, he was inspired by the release of happiness hormones and increased his pace.

William loved being able to look out over the East River and let his thoughts and feelings flow freely. His black hair flowed in the wind and was dampened by the drizzle, her ragged breathing evident in the chill of dawn. When he managed halfway of his way, he was panting like never before in his life - the cold air making it harder to force enough air through his lungs. The young man felt the slight sting in his side, but did not hesitate to stop.

It was not until his head moved towards the entrance of the Central Park that he saw something blue and shimmery lying on the ground. Confused, he stopped and cautiously approached the object, peering left and right to locate other people.

Startled, he jumped back and almost stepped into the street when he saw red-brown stains around it, some of them even splattered on the cell phone he had found. William did not even hear the car behind him screeching to a stop next to him and the car door being opened with an aggressive jerk. "Are you crazy? I almost ran you over!"

But the young man did not answer the older women. She looked at the black-haired guy and saw fear and disgust on his face. His shaky fingers pointed to the main reason he stopped, which was why the woman looked confused on the ground and shortly after promptly walked back to her car in shock. "We have to alert the police." he shouted in a shrill, abnormally bright voice. The stranger nodded her head and pulled her cell phone out of the glove compartment of her red car. She quickly tapped on her phone and held it trembling against her ear.

"Emergency call center, how can I help you?" A calm voice asked on the other end of the line, beginning to type on her keyboard to find out the location of the caller. "We found a phone." she spoke anxiously, earning a sigh from the 911 agent. "Mam, you know this is not an emergency, right?"

William looked confused at the device in the old lady's hand, and in his adrenaline rush he did not quite understand why the sigh was being given. So he quickly snatched the cell phone from her and continued the conversation. "Listen. Here is a cell phone lying at the entrance to Central Park, covered in blood splatters. I also recognize an original NYPD cell phone case."

“Which entrance are you at?” the woman's low voice slowly calmed his rapidly beating heart. He took a deep breath while trying not to let his mind sink into a hole of horror scenarios. He looked around, trying to figure out which entrance he really was at. "Fifth Avenue at the Plaza Hotel,"

"Do not touch anything. I will send you a unit."

ᕚ---ᕘ

The gentle rain pattered quietly against Olivia's bedroom windows and made her open her eyes just a crack wide. Her tired gaze glowered out and a hand brushed over her face as she watched the night slowly fade away. Her attention turned to the other side of the bed, her fingers curling into the cold sheets next to her.

Her fiancée was no longer lying next to her and she sighed heavily. She usually woke up before you almost every morning, kissing along your naked spine stroking her hand with pleasure over your sides before she remained on your bare hip, waking you up for another day. Olivia loved waking up next to you since she shared a bed with you and enjoyed every minute of it. But she respected your exercise routine in the early hours of the morning and was in no way offended if she started the day without you.

The brunette tried to close her eyes for another five minutes, but quickly abandoned the idea when her cell phone rang. A little angry, she felt around on the bedside table for the annoying-sounding device and answered the call. "Lieutenant Benson?" she sighed loudly, already pulling the blanket off her body.

The brunette, half asleep, rummaged through her closet for some clothes and ran into the bathroom to get ready. "Central Park, I will be right there." When she ended the conversation, she tried to reach you on your cell phone to take you home, but her attempt came to nothing and she did not think about it any further - you had already put your phone on silent often enough to avoid being distracted.

After quickly downing a cup of coffee to wake herself up, she pulled her coat off the hook and slipped through the door into the day's events. The rain worsened on the way to the crime scene, washing every possible mess back into the sewers. When she got out, Amanda and Fin were already standing at the cordoned off area that had been created to protect the evidence from the rain. "What do we have?"

"A blood-spattered cell phone," the blonde expressed, gratefully accepting an evidence bag from another officer. She carefully placed the found object in it and handed it to her boss. "A cell phone? Why were we called?" the Sergent and the detective shrugged and raised their hands in question. "The caller thought it was a cell phone belonging to one of our colleagues, which is why we were notified because a significant amount of blood was found next to it."

Olivia nodded, looking worriedly at the phone in her hand. You had the same case around your phone, she had given it to you as a small gift. She turned it around so the screen was facing her and her heart skipped a beat when she saw the scratch on it. The brunette had almost caused the same one on your phone when she saved you from a bullet a couple months ago.

She always wanted to have it repaired but you would not let her - it was a memory for you. "Liv, are you okay?" Finn asked worriedly, watching as the color suddenly drained from his best friend's face. She nodded in response, looking back from the evidence to the paving stone. A good amount of blood that was not easy to ignore. "Yeah, it is just.."

The tough woman could not finish the sentence right away. The screen turned on on its own, showing a reminder notification on the display. Underneath you could clearly see two smiling faces smeared with light gray paint as a background image.

She recognized the image immediately. Olivia shot it herself when you were recoloring your bedroom together. Olivia swallowed hard, the phone shaking in her hands as she tried to suppress her rising panic. “It is y/n’s. It is her phone."

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tvgals · 9 months

Note

Ok ok hear me out‼️

Miguel (YOUR FATHER) grounds you from seeing your unknown boyfriend (Miles Morales 🤭) But you being sneaky go see him without permission and you guys post a tiktok ykno one of those tiktoks that flex the relationships and you follow jessica so she practically SNITCHES on you to Miguel (She found ur tiktok account somehow??) So Miguel Demands to meet this mystery boy (Imagine his face wasn’t showing in the tiktok) and when he finds out it’s Miles you and your dad get into a fight but it all ends in fluff

(The tiktok is that one trend ‘catch me in vegas, catch me in tokyo thing please know what i’m talking about 😭)

Sorry if the ask was too long but i’ve been thinking about this for D A Y S now‼️ Love you, drink ur water, and stay safe ! :3

aur em gee i’m living for this …

you’d came home late for the third night in a row, miguel sitting on the couch in the dark, scrolling on his ipad with his glasses hanging on the bridge of his nose. you should’ve known better than to come through the front door, but alas, you did it anyways. as soon as you step into the house you hear a “look who’s home.” and you jump. your heart rate going down as soon as you realize it’s just your father. shit.

“hey!…” you chuckle nervously — taking off your crocs. “this is the third time you’ve been late.” miguel says, turning off his ipad. “i know, dad. i’m sorry.” you say, standing in front of him while picking at your hangnails. “you said that the last two times you were late. you’re grounded, y/n. you and this little boy — who i’ve never met — are getting on my last nerve.” miguel says, standing up, leaving you a dumbstruck mess. you trail behind him and plead your case. “but dad! you don’t even know him! he’s literally perfect!” you said, following miguel into his room.

“exactly. until i meet this little boy — you’re banned from seeing him until further notice. and if i even suspect you’re seeing him, you’re done.” miguel says. you purse your lips together and walk out the room with a “this is not fair.” under your breath and walk into your own room — slamming the door shut. you lay on your bed and shove your face into your pillow. you heard a buzz from your phone and pull your head back, turning your phone on.

‘babyyyy i wanna see u! o(≧▽≦)o’ you smile at the text, obviously from miles by the kaomoji. you sigh and open the text, biting the inside of your cheek before looking at your bedroom door. ‘can’t :( dad grounded me >:(‘ text bubbles popping up almost immediately. ‘oooo what did u do?!?’ you grin and text back — not wanting to hurt miles feelings on the real reason why. ‘came home late 😒 i’ll just sneak out! see u in a bit <3’ miles replied with an “okay!!” and you were off on a dangerous mission — leaving your room and coming back without your dad noticing. you slide on a pair of crocs and throw on a hoodie miles gave you. you created a “pillow you” and snuck out through your window, making sure you had everything before leaving. once outside — you let out a long awaited breath and walk to miles house, just down the street and around a corner or two. you made it to miles house at 10:30, miles opening the door to you and inviting you into his room.

“hi, y/n!” miles grinned, pulling you into a hug. “hiiii!” you giggled, hugging him back. the two of you were on miles’ bed, occasionally turning on movies and making tiktoks, which is when you got the bright (stupid) idea to make a tiktok with the sound of ‘sexy back’ by skinnylegend. you collected a few pictures off of google and you took the rest of the video with miles, mentioning him in the caption and posting it, not thinking about who would watch it. you turned your phone off and laid next to miles, slowly drifting to sleep (idiot). miles shook you awake almost frantically, you shot up with a “what?” and miles handed you your phone. 10 missed calls and 23 missed text messages. dammit. you called miguel back, hoping he didn’t know about you sneaking out.

“y/n, where in the hell are you?” miguel asks, you can hear the anger in his voice. “dad, i just went to the corner store for some snacks.” you lied, putting your shoes back on. “no you aren’t. your car is still here and you know better than to walk outside alone at four in the morning.” miguel said, knowing he was right. you sighed and left out of miles’ house out his window, kissing him goodbye and walking back to your house. how could miguel know? you were confused and even more upset that miguel wouldn’t even hear you out! you made it home and walked through the front door, sitting down at the table where miguel was. “dad-“ you were cut off by miguel starting his own sentence.

“do you understand how upsetting it is to get a call from jessica,” you should’ve known. “who has her own child — that my daughter isn’t at home? y/n i’m so disappointed.” miguel scolds you. your head hangs low in shame. you should’ve been more careful, or just didn’t leave in the first place. “i’m really sorry.” you whisper, wiping your eyes. “i don’t believe you, y/n. you can’t keep saying sorry and do the same thing over and over. i expect to meet this boy by tomorrow or you two are over.” and with that, miguel walks to his room and shuts his door. you text miles and walk to your own room, laying down and falling asleep.

‘dad wants to meet you 😞’

you wake up and immediately turning your phone on, seeing three text messages from miles.

‘oh no!!! (ﾉД`)’

‘what if he doesn’t like me?!?’

‘ok ok, how about 530 tomorrow?!?’

‘well technically today’

you text him back with a “sure” and you head into the kitchen where miguel was making breakfast. “he’s coming over today at 5:30..” you mumbled, sitting at the table. “hm.” was all you got as a response. when 5:30 rolled around, you were nervously fidgeting at the table, waiting for the three knocks to adorn your door meaning that miles was there. knock knock knock. you sighed and opened the door. you’re met with miles — who was beaming and holding a container of empanadas for presumably your dad. “dad! he’s here!” you called out, dragging him into the kitchen (not without taking his shoes off first). “dad, meet miles.” you say, making jazz hands while standing next to him. miles eyes widen the same time as miguel’s, you stand there confused and watch as the scene plays out in front of you.

“miles morales?” miguel says, biting his tongue. “yes sir. that’s me.” he laughs nervously, occasionally opening and closing the lid to the container. “my mom made empanadas.” miles shrugs with a sheepish grin on his face. miguel snatches the container from miles’ hand and throws it at the wall, the empanadas falling to the floor along with a crack of the container. you gasped and watched as miles shoved his hands in his pockets and turned on his heel, sliding his feet back into his jordan’s and walking out with a “bye, y/n.” you turned to miguel and balled your fists up.

“what the hell is wrong with you?” you yell, clenching your jaw. “what’s wrong me me, what’s wrong with you? you’re the one who brought him here!” miguel retaliated, pointing an accusatory finger at you. “because you asked me to?! are you mental? you ruin every thing!” you sob, stomping your way back to your room and slamming the door shut before you flopped onto your bed. your phone buzzed with notifications from miles.

‘does he not like empanadas?? :(‘

‘sorry y/n, i didn’t know he would react like that’

‘try again next week?’

miguel knocked on your door a few times before letting himself in, his heart breaking at the sight of you crying while curled up into yourself. “y/n..” miguel starts, sitting on the end of your bed. “i’m sorry. i wasn’t expecting him-“ you cut him off with a scoff. “you threw his mom’s hard work at the wall, dad. him and his family are the sweetest people i’ve ever met and you went and ruined it. i’m pretty sure he doesn’t even wanna date me anymore because of you.” you hiccuped, glaring at him from under your hoodie. “look, how about next week we try and work this out, okay?” miguel asks, pulling you into a hug. you look up at him with bleary eyes. “and you won’t throw his mom’s cooking at the wall?” you ask.

“promise.”

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impishtubist · 2 years

Text

the twin conundrum

I wrote this in like 20 minutes and it’s all @battlehamster‘s fault.

----

“Remus.” Regulus’s head appears in the fireplace, making Remus jump. “I need you over at the Manor. Quickly, please.”

Remus doesn’t hesitate, grabbing his cloak and his wand and hurrying through the Floo after Regulus. Sirius is supposed to be picking up Teddy from the Manor right now. James and Regulus had agreed to watch their boy for the day while Sirius worked a shift at St. Mungo’s and Remus put together his lesson plans for the coming semester. If Regulus is calling him now, then something has gone horribly wrong.

Not to mention the fact that Regulus never calls him by his given name. He’s always Lupin to his brother-in-law.

James is there to greet him when he comes stumbling through the fireplace, offering him a hand to steady him. Remus glances around the room, and warm relief rushes through him when he spots Sirius on the couch. Sirius gives him a tiny smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

“What’s going on?” Remus demands. “What’s happened?”

It’s then that he notices that Regulus is holding Harry… and so is Sirius.

Remus blinks several times. No, his eyes are not playing tricks on him. There are two Harrys in the room, and not a sign of Teddy.

Oh, dear.

“I see,” he says. “Teddy, change back, please.”

He addresses the child in Sirius’s arms, who protests, “But I’m Harry!”

“Yeah!” says the child that Regulus holds. “Me, too!”

Remus pinches the bridge of his nose. “Boys, this isn’t funny. It’s time for Teddy to go home. He’ll be back here at the weekend, you know that.”

Both Harrys look puzzled. Regulus and Sirius both appear faintly annoyed, but James seems to be on the verge of tears.

“I need some tea,” Remus declares, “and then we can settle this properly. James, give me a hand?”

He forcibly steers James into the kitchen and props him against the countertop. “Right, what’s wrong?”

“I can’t tell them apart,” James says in a rush. “I’m his dad, I love him more than anything, and I can’t tell you which of those boys is my son!”

“Neither can Sirius or Regulus, and they love Harry and Teddy just as much,” Remus soothes, squeezing James’s arms. “You brought me here to sniff out which was which, yeah?”

“That was the idea.” James rubs the back of his hand under his nose. “Can you do it?”

“Yes, of course.”

They return to the sitting room. Remus plucks the child from Sirius’s arms and gives him a good sniff--the toddler giggles as Remus inadvertently tickles him. Remus does the same for the child in Regulus’s arms, and then wrinkles his nose.

“What on Earth did you have them doing today?” he demands of James and Regulus. “They both reek.”

James flushes, and even Regulus looks a bit sheepish. “Er… we might have gone flying. And gone to the park. And jumped in some mud puddles.”

“That’s what I thought,” Remus says, exasperated. “I can’t tell the two of them apart when they’re like this. They’ll both need to be bathed before I can figure it out.”

James holds out his arms for one of the Harrys, and Sirius hands him over. “Right. We’ll get these two menaces cleaned up. Back soon!”

He and Regulus hurry off with the boys. Sirius gets up from the couch and comes over to Remus.

“You know which one is Teddy, don’t you?” he says.

“Oh, yeah. James was holding him.” Remus shrugs. “This means we don’t have to do bath time tonight.”

Sirius grins. “You sneaky bastard.”

“That’s why you love me.”

#wolfstar #jegulus #wolfstar raising teddy #jegulus raising harry #imp is writing #shhhhhhh i know i said i wasn't writing fanfic anymore but apparently this is a lie #sirius black #remus lupin #regulus black #james potter #harry potter #teddy lupin #battlehamster

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nevertheless-moving · 2 months

Text

I'm not quite there yet but I KNOW that after wind and truth featuring Szeth and Kaladin's Unwell Adventure, I WILL be adding Kalaszeth to my all encompassing mental cabinet of beloved possible Kaladin ships.

---

Which introduces a new funniest time travel companion for a new funniest post book 5 time travel scenario.

Stormlight au 31:

Szeth, having jump scared the bridge crew by appearing lightly glowing in the dark while they were having stew, been hastily ushered by the captain into the bridge four barrack, only to sit on the floor and stare dead eyed at nothing: Kaladin, standing between the crew and the man on the floor:

---

Lopen looked around. As usual, he could tell that the men were silently crying out for him, the Lopen, to take charge and speak.

"So!" he said cheerfully. "Gotta say gancho, very excited to meet an old friend of yours! Nice to take some mystery out of that mysterious past of yours, eh?"

Kaladin shifted from foot to foot, face twisting a bit. He had been acting strange since that terrifying glowy high storm vision of his a few days back. Even more broody than usual, which was storming saying something.

"It must be difficult," Rock said slowly. "Being Shin man with great powers and shardblade."

A shardblade which he had summoned unceremoniously, causing all of bridge four to scramble for weapons, only for the crazy man to hand it to Kaladin with a mumble, then sit on the floor.

Kaladin had sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, before placing it, very, very carefully, under his bed.

A storming shardblade. Under the Captain's bed.

"A Shin with a shardblade who wears white," Moash added sarcastically, eyes flickering to the Captain's bed even more than usual.

(White may have been a stretch, what with all the mud and possibly dried blood. Still. Lopen could perhaps see Moash's point.)

"Yes," Rock said. "Why, were I more suspicious man, I would say Captain, this man on the floor, he can not be Assassin in White? Surely most wanted, most dangerous man in all Roshar is not here, in the place we sleep, asking for aid. Surely it would have been mentioned if this man who caused the war we even now are a part of, was old friend of yours?"

"I..." Kaladin trailed off. "I promised to try and protect..."

The whole bridge crew groaned, Skar even throwing his spear at the ground. Bad form, that.

"Storm's sake lad!" Teft growled, arms in the air. "You can't befriend and save every wanted criminal you meet!"

"If it is of help -"

The men started at the unnerving dead voice coming from the so far quiet assassin.

"We are not truly friends. Merely -"

He said a word, presumably in his language, then frowned, the first recognizably human emotion that had crossed his face.

"I do not know this word in Alethi. In Azish it is I think -"

He said something that made Sigzil choke on air, jaw dropping. "Uh," the Worldsinger stammered out. "I. Ah. I think. That might be the wrong term."

The Captain seemed to pale slightly. "Szeth, we can talk about that later," he said quickly. "We should probably figure out a plan for you to surrender to Dalinar - or Elokhar - without you getting immediately executed - Yes, Dalinar is probably-"

"Perhaps," Sigzil interrupted, voice higher than usual. "You could define the meaning of the word you used before."

"Sigzil!" The captain hissed.

"Captain?" Sigzil challenged, voice still slightly too high.

"I was emotionally and mentally unwell," the assassin in white said in his monotone. He paused. "Even more so than currently."

A few of the men took a step back.

"Stormblessed..." he looked up at Kaladin, and his voice seemed to soften, just the slightest bit. "He felt pity for me. Then he helped me feel. Helped me think that perhaps, someday I would feel the desire for life. He did this despite no great love for my being."

Many of the men nodded at that. Sigzil's shoulders slumped in relief.

"He accomplished this primarily by fucking me in a cave."

The nods froze. Sigzil closed his eyes.

The Captain slapped a hand to his face.

"The translation for this from my language would be 'pity fuck', but there is more cultural nuance..." The Assassin shrugged. "In any case it is not a bond such as that of friendship. My soul is still far too damaged for that."

"Szeth..." The Captain said, looking down at him with obvious concern. He glanced at the room, blanched at the men's expressions, then slowly pressed his head back into his hand.

Moash made an indecipherable noise and stomped towards the door, before making another noise and stomping back.

The Captain kept his palm pressed to his face.

A sudden wave of epiphany hit Lopen. "Hold on. Now hold on just a storming minute!"

The room turned slowly from staring at their Stormblessed leader to staring at Lopen.

He pointed accusingly at the Captain. When the man failed to pull his massive hand from his beautiful face, Lopen faced the others, glaring.

"I know that I joined bridge four late! But are you telling me that before I got here, the whole famous 'pulling everyone out of bridge crew misery' was actually the captain...I mean did storming all of you..."

He made a deliberate gesture, pointer finger moving extra emphatically to make up for the missing hand with which to form a hole, meeting each man's eyes with a challenge.

Drehy let out a wheeze. He and Skar looked at each other before dissolving into quiet, helpless laughter. Drehy sank to his hands and knees, wheezing more, and Skar bent over, tears streaming down his face as he gasped around his laughing.

"That ain't an answer!" he said indignantly.

He looked at Teft, but the older man had put both hands over his face. His shoulders seem to shake occasionally. Lopen's eyes narrowed as he turned to Rock.

The horneater had a hand over his mouth, but he brought it down, coughing once as he stroked his beard.

"What," Rock said mildly. "You thought it my stew that bring back men's will to live? You honor me, the Lopen."

Lopen gaped at that, and he wasn't the only one. The handful of other 'late' additions, men who had been rescued on the field from other crews, started in shock.

The rest of the crew completely lost it at that point.

Skar and Drehy collapsed further, banging their fists on the floor. Bissig started laughing as well, falling onto Natam, who had made a strange grunting whine at Lopen's question, a whine which grew louder at Rock's reply.

Moash's lips turned up reluctantly before a snort escaped against his will. He fell back against a wall, knees seeming to grow weak. Another snort. "Imagine!" he gasped out. "If he just started punching people in the stomach, ran around like a madman, and expected people to follow him!"

Leyten went from chuckling to a booming laugh at that, clutching at Pete and Yake to stay upright. He looked at Lopen, who made another questioning gesture. That was enough to send all three toppling over, Leyten loud enough to be heard the next barrack over.

Renarin squeaked from the corner as Natam hit the wall beside him in mirth, howling. Talek's breath, he had forgotten the lad was there, light eyes wide in shock.

Shen was next to him. Was it Lopen's imagination, or did even his eyes seemed to be sparkling with mirth? No storming way...not the parshman...the Captain wouldn't...

"Crazy!" Torfin agreed, cackling. "What kind of idiots would start pooling all their pay to buy storming bandages for doomed men, start laughing during chasm duty, swear to stand by their storming bridge, if they didn't have at least one, um - uh -"

"Stormblessing!" Leyten offered with a gasp from the ground.

Torfin pointed at him, "Stormblessing!" he repeated with a yell. "To remind them that life was worth living!"

Lopen narrowed his eyes, finally coming to a conclusion. "You fellows are taking the piss out on me," he accused.

"You know Captain," Drehy said, whole body heaving, tears still streaming down his face as he lay helplessly on the floor. "I still get nightmares."

This inspired a new wave of laughter mixed with jeers about their own issues, and suggestions for how the captain could help. Lopen shook his head, grinning widely at the room full of uproarious men. Some of his best work. And mostly achieved on accident, which was the best kind of accomplishment!

The Captain finally pulled his hand from his face. There was color high in his cheeks, and he was frowning, but the corners of his eyes were creased with suppressed laughter.

"Sorry Drehy, one time offer," he said dryly, to hoots.

And Lopen," he said, faux apologetic. "I am sorry for the oversight. I... didn't realize you were interested."

The crew edged well into hysteria, most men only able to breathe in strangled gasps and wheeze out an occasional ''Stormblessing!'

Bridge four's captain was good at playing straight man, when the mood struck him.

The Lopen huffed, but decided magnanimously to move past the slight to his honor. Even if it turned out they weren't joking.

"It's still nice to be included," he sniffed. "Ain't that right, Renarin."

The Brightlord seemed to shrink as attention was drawn towards him, face a brilliant red as he pressed into the corner. Some of the laughter trailed off as the crew remembered he was there. More of it got louder, even less uncontrolled.

The Captain's eyes widened and the flush on his cheeks spread to his ears.

"Renarin! Oh - Jezrianssake, the men are full of chullshit, alright? I didn't - that wasn't -"

The Captain gestured helplessly. "The thing with Szeth was - we were - the world was going to -"

He threw up his arms as Renarin's eyes just got wider.

"It was the stew!" He said desperately, turning to look at Eth, who looked bemused back at him. "It really was the stew!" He pleaded.

"I know Captain," Eth said soothingly. "I know I came in a bit later, but I know. That's not exactly something these idiots would be able to keep secret."

"Things might have gone faster, though..." Skar said leadingly, which set off another round of helpless groans and gasps for air.

The Captain rolled his eyes, scoffing, still the perfect comedic straight man.

...He did get the whole joke though, right? The bit of truth in the jeers? The Lopen was not generally interested in the more manly sex but Storms. It was sometimes hard to tell if the Captain realized just how pretty he was, just how much people reacted to his general...Stormblessedness. Not to mention the glowing! Everyone loves a man who can glow and run up walls.

Hm. Maybe that helped explain the Captain and the Assassin.

Moash stumbled, still snorting, over to the Man in White - to Szeth - looking down at him, appraising.

Kaladin grew tense.

Gancho had been especially strange around Moash for the last few days.

"Assassin," he said thoughtfully. "Are you sure it was just pity?"

The wide eyed man, who had remained utterly impassive as the room fell apart around him, cocked his head as Moash leaned down.

"There's a certain kind of person who finds killing light eyes, especially powerful lighteyes, a rather..."

Kaladin cleared his throat, interrupting. "We're not killing the king."

Moash turned sharply, glaring at Kaladin.

"I do not wish to kill anymore," Szeth whispered. He paused, then spoke again.

"I will kill if the Blackthorn orders, or if you ask, Kaladin Stormblessed, son son Tanavast."

Kaladin winced. "Maybe let's not mention...that whole last part when we go to the King. We...we should definitely practice exactly how we're going to explain all this."

He starting towing the still blank faced - no there was a bit of confusion there, if you were looking - infamous Assassin to his office, the men letting out the best jeers they could (considering their incoherent state) as they went.

"You should for sure mention the 'pity fuck' thing though," Lopen called helpfully. "The King will definitely be interested in that."

#Stormlight archive #kaladin stormblessed #My au #stormlight fanfic #Stormlight au no 31 #Szeth/Kaladin #Words of Radiance au #lopen and szeth: untapped comedy tagteam??#lopen szeth and kaladin: three people who will just fucking say things???#i made myself laugh and as always that's whats important #New most entertaining kaladin sexuality: sex positive ace whose thing specifically is #he WILL happily have sex but ONLY if it will be emotionally healing for the other party #bridge four: that's just pity fu-#kaladin: IT'S PART OF A JOURNEY TOWARDS MENTAL RECOVERY I DON'T KNOW OKAY I'M STILL INVENTING THERAPY #wind and truth speculation #rhythm of war spoilers #crack #you know those two glowing men are going to have some feelings at the very least while adjacent to each other.#overnight in a cave is optional i can supply that myself if need be #cosmere #nevertheless cosmere

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underqualified-human · 1 year

Text

Self-Aware Yuu sings La Seine and I:

A/N: So because there are a lot of songs that were requested, I don't think I'll be doing all of them mostly because the Jekyll and Hyde one was because I really liked the song. I’ll also be doing separate parts for the songs that I do.

All of them:

A new challenger approaches

“Who is Seine and where is the bridge?!?!”

Heartslabyul:

Most of them are too focused on Yuu’s singing to pay any close attention to the lyrics.

Cater is once again filming Yuu, but oddly enough no clips are posted to Magicam

Trey is the most normal, not really reacting much during but complementing them after.

Ace and Deuce are trying to find out who Seine is, for research purposes obviously.

Riddle is completely mesmerized, then he listens more closely and gets a bit sad. The only Heartslabyul guy to ask Yuu about the Seine

Savanaclaw:

Once again, not really listening to the lyrics

Leona falls asleep halfway through, but enjoyed it nonetheless

Ruggie is honestly just happy to get some time off, hearing Yuu sing is just a bonus in his eyes

Jack is pretty curious about the origin of the song, so it and others become a common conversation topic for the next few weeks

Octavinelle:

The ones that suggested the singing in the first place

The tweels are now following Yuu around in case they go to meet anyone at a bridge

Floyd may try to sabotage the performance if he gets bored [which he thankfully doesnt]

Azul is torn between wanting to hire the prefect at the lounge full-time and wanting to keep their singing to himself [Erik style]

Scarabia:

Kalim is, once again, not fully paying attention to the lyrics. Honestly, he’s just happy that Yuu looks like they're having fun

Jamil starts paying attention when hypnotism is mentioned and doesn't ever stop paying attention. Another one that actually asks about the lyrics.

Pomefiore:

Rook is finally allowed to duet! [It was only because he knew how to pronounce Seine when reading the lyrics]

Epel is more interested in the instrumentals if he’s being honest, but he still supports Yuu from the sidelines.

Vil actually had a hand in the production of the performance, he couldn't help himself! Definitely talks to Yuu about their singing and ways to improve afterwards [is also oddly nice about it]

Ignihide:

Ortho also talks to Yuu about the song lyrics but only like, a month later.

Idia is too busy recording everything to pay attention in the moment, but he has several questions once he watches the recording back [and trust me he does. A LOT]

Diasomnia:

The entire dorm is of the few that pay attention enough to realize Seine is a place, not a person

Malleus asks about the lyrics, the origins and even where the Seine is located. He’s a little sad when he finds out it doesn't exist there. Also asks if you’ve ever thought of naming a child Seine 🤔

Sebek disregards the fact that it’s mostly about love and just jumps straight to asking if the Seine is a safe location or not.

Lillia is just laser-focused on the wine, he asks about the river too but mostly about wine.

Silver is taking a nap, please do not disturb him.

Tagging: @coffee-or-hot-cocoa [the requester]

#aries writing #self aware!yuu au #self aware yuu au #twst au #twisted wonderland au #twisted wonderland headcanons #riddle x reader #trey x reader #ace x reader #deuce x reader #cater x reader #twst x reader #idia x reader #malleus x reader #vil x reader #rook x reader #jamil x reader #leona x reader

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alittlebitofloveliness · 26 days

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I was wondering if you could please write some more Johnny Cade head canons?? I adore the ones you wrote a couple days ago ❤️❤️❤️

Hi anon! Of COURSE I can! Here's some more Johnny hc

-Tried alcohol when he was 12 and never drank it again. Not because he didn’t like it because he liked it TOO much and he recognized that

-Can and will fall asleep ANYWHERE as long as he feels a modicum of safety. He’s fallen asleep multiple times at the Curtis’ table, against a wall at Buck’s, in class, and once at the drive in

-Loves drag races. Steve drives in them sometimes and Johnny always manages to sneak his way into the passenger seat instead of Soda

-His favourite scents are cigarette smoke and fresh cut grass

-Can’t taste the difference between Pepsi and Coke (Ponyboy doesn’t believe him and thinks he just doesn’t want to admit he likes coke better)

-Is really good a lying/bullshitting. He once snuck himself and Ponyboy backstage at a concert because he convinced the stage manager one of the musicians was his cousin

-Once tripped Angela Shepard in the school hallway and immediately regretted it when she dragged him down with her as she fell and then ‘accidentally’ stepped on his ankle when she stood back up

-Is VICIOUSLY protective of his food while eating. Two-bit tried to jokingly steal a slice of bacon off his plate once when they were at the Curtis’ and before he could even get close to snatching it Johnny had his wrist in a bruising grip and was glaring so hard Two immediately backed down. No one in the gang has tried anything like that with him since.

-Has a ton of little cousins on his mom’s side but never gets to see the since his mom burned the last bridge with her family when he was six. He misses them

-His favourite word is ‘shit’

-Once helped babysit Ponyboy when Pony and Curly got absolutely wasted together, and tried to stop Soda and Darry from finding out (he was unsuccessful). Ponyboy turned out to be a really happy drunk and Johnny had fun that day, even though it was kinda concerning to see his normally reserved friend so exuberant

-Doubled down on his hatred for Curly Shepard after the drinking debacle, which Ponyboy didn’t think was even POSSIBLE

-Collects bottle caps. He’s not sure why, he just likes them, so he’s got an old coffee can full that he keeps under his matress

-Dally started teaching him knife fighting after he got jumped, and he’s good at it until Dally wants to practice fighting each other- then he flinches because he doesn’t wanna accidentally cut Dal

-Privately thinks Ponyboy looks adorable when he sleeps, a sentiment shared by the rest of the gang.

-His English teacher likes him even though he never does much homework or readings, because his questions are really thought provoking and get the rest of the class talking

-The first people in the gang he met were Sodapop and Steve since they were in the same grade one class, but even then Soda and Steve were joined at the hip, and Johnny was immediately drawn to Pony. At the time, Pony was just thrilled to have a friend who wasn’t one of his brothers

-Tries to quit smoking whenever Pony does as an act of solidarity, but like Pony he never manages it

-Mentions Ponyboy’s green eyes whenever he gets a chance because of how annoyed Ponyboy gets

-His favourite candy is sweet tarts

#the outsiders #headcanon #johnny cade #ponyboy curtis #curly shepard #angela shepard #sodapop curtis #darry curtis #dally winston #dallas winston #steve randle

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starrydixon · 1 year

Text

Despair

*Requested from this ask :)

Era: 6-Year Time Jump Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader Pronouns: She/Her Word Count: 4.1k Warnings: language, mentions of grief, cheating, descriptions of anxiety, self-doubt, Daryl being an asshole, angst

Summary: When his brother’s disappearance becomes too much to bear, Daryl isolates himself in the woods, away from his community and from you. When the opportunity presents itself to see Daryl again after three years, you learn what he had been up to.

A/N: I found this request challenging (in a good way), since I personally can’t imagine Daryl cheating on his S/O. I didn’t want him to be sneaky about it, so I have him being upfront and fessing up to what he had done. I hope you enjoy reading, especially the anon that requested!! ❤️💗

Rick Grimes was one of, if not the, best man you had ever had the privilege of knowing. It wasn’t an easy job, being a leader for a group of people who had turned into a found family, but he did the best he could. Every decision he made, he did it with the thought of keeping his family safe. Back at the prison, after his family had taken down the Governor and began to open their doors for other survivors, he had found you barely surviving in the woods when he was checking on his many snares in hopes of catching a few rabbits. After asking you a few questions, he offered you shelter with protective fences and a community to survive with. From that day on, Rick and the rest of his group had become like family to you too.

With a new beginning at the prison, you were able to meet the person you would later find out was the love of your life, your person, and your other half: Daryl Dixon. After months of awkward greetings and one sentence conversations, Daryl and you started to become friends, which then started the years of being stuck in the friend zone. You had realized early on that you were developing feelings that exceeded the levels of friendship with the archer, but were too scared to act on it. You valued the connection the two of you had, and the thought of ruining it scared you so much that you would rather remain friends than act on the feelings you weren’t even sure he shared. However, the night after the saviors were finally taken down, and your community could finally find peace again, you and Daryl had found yourselves looking up at the sparkling stars that covered the ink colored sky with love confessions stumbling out of your mouths.

Rick had given you everything the day he had let you into the prison, so when he sacrificed himself on that nearly completed bridge in order to keep his family and the community he had built safe, you were devastated to say the least…and so was Daryl.

As much as you wanted him to stay at your shared townhouse so you could both grieve together, you didn’t want to get in the way of his own grieving process. It wouldn’t be fair to him or to you. If moving out in the woods alone, and searching high and low for Rick was his way of dealing with the sheriff’s disappearance, then so be it.

At first, you would visit Daryl every other week and stay with him for a few days, helping him look for any evidence that belonged to the former sheriff, proving that he had survived the explosion. You tried to stay ignorant to Daryl’s lackluster attitude whenever you stayed with him, but soon it became too unbearable to completely ignore. So, you decided to visit him every 30 days with a pack full of new supplies at a designated spot that would change depending on which section of the vast woodlands Daryl was searching through at the time.

The archer would leave a folded up piece of paper with the coordinates of the new drop off location written on it in one of the hidden tin messenger boxes that lined the main road that passed through all four of the communities. Although it began to become a bit tedious, you didn’t mind so much. All it meant was that you were able to see Daryl again, even if only for ten minutes.

That system had only lasted for less than a year, since Daryl had decided to unexpectedly go radio silent on you. It happened when you were supposed to meet up with him again. When you went to retrieve the note from the tin box, you had discovered that it was empty. At first you thought Daryl was still in the same area he had been 30 days prior, and went to the large boulder you had met him at before in hopes that he was waiting for you there. Unfortunately, he wasn’t. Then, you thought he was just late; that he lost count of the days. After a week of relentlessly checking the tin box for a note from the archer, your mind began to spiral with the fear that something bad had happened to him.

Since you didn’t know where he was, you paid a visit to the Kingdom in hopes that Carol would have an idea of what was going on. To your devastation, you learned that he kept in regular contact with Carol; letting her know where he was and which gridlock of the woods he would be venturing through next. It was clear that, for reasons you didn’t know and probably wouldn’t be able to even fathom if you did know, Daryl didn’t want you in his life anymore.

So, with a broken heart and an uncertainty of where yours and Daryl’s relationship now stood, you let him be. You hoped that within time, he would reach out to you again after having time to process whatever pain he was undoubtedly going through. The pieces of your broken heart seemed to shatter into even smaller pieces every time Carol sent you a letter informing you how Daryl was. Although you were relieved that he was ok and alive, your hope of him coming back to you seemed to become dimmer with each letter that was given to you.

After almost three years of leaving the porch light on every night, and keeping fresh and clean folded clothes on the decorative armchair (that Daryl found to be an eyesore) that sat by the window of your bedroom, you had received a letter from Carol that informed you of what Daryl’s latest location was.

You didn’t know if Carol was telling you this out of the goodness of her heart (or out of pity if you were being honest with yourself), or if Daryl had asked her to do it for him. Nonetheless, you weren’t going to miss the chance of seeing the man that you still loved again. Plus, you had a lot of questions for the archer that you felt you deserved to have answered, and a lot of things you wanted to say.

Packing up a bag of supplies for you and for Daryl (since you still had the habit engraved in your brain), you dressed one of the horses in riding gear and journeyed to the area Carol had mapped out for you.

It didn’t take you long to arrive, maybe half a day or so. Once you had dismounted your horse and wrapped its reins around a sturdy tree branch in a clearing of the woods, you emerged from the shrubbery within the forest to face a riverbank. You figured this was the same river that flowed underneath the bridge Rick had blown up.

With your mouth having suddenly gone dry, you were unable to move when your eyes found the sight of a pair of familiar angel wings. Even without seeing the signature vest that constantly sported his body, you would’ve been able to identify Daryl; having memorized the way his long and unruly stands of dark hair looked from the back of his head, to the shape of his distinctive broad shoulders and frame.

After taking a moment to compose yourself, you stepped over the multiple traps Daryl had hidden beneath the layer of fallen orange and brown leaves that covered the forest floor. Clenching your hands into fists to prevent them from shaking, you tentatively approached the riverbank that Daryl was sitting at. When your boot stepped on a small twig that sent a surprisingly loud snapping sound through the still air, your wide eyes watched as Daryl’s head turned to the side in order to look over his shoulder.

“You came.” When he spoke, his usually gravelly voice came out even more horse due to disuse. You weren’t sure if you were more surprised at hearing his voice after so many years, or by the fact that he didn’t seem surprised at your presence.

“You knew I was coming?” You asked with a slight quiver of unknown emotion in your voice. You were now standing a few feet away from the archer, behind his line of vision.

“Was hoping’ you’d come by…didn’t know for sure.” Daryl drawled heavily while shrugging his shoulders loosely.

Nodding your head in response, despite knowing Daryl wouldn’t be able to see you, you shifted uneasily on your feet. You didn’t know what to do with yourself now that you were here. After years of longing and wishing for this moment to happen, you hadn’t imagined it being this difficult.

You felt as if there was a reason as to why Daryl was suddenly seeking you out, whether that be good or bad. As much as you hoped for it being good, the gut-wrenching feeling you’ve had since receiving Carol’s letter was becoming even harder to ignore now that you were within Daryl’s presence.

Shaking your head in an attempt to rid at least a layer of anxiety from out of your body, you shifted the pack full of supplies on your shoulder. “I–uh–brought you some stuff…I didn’t know what you still had from whenever Carol last saw you.”

That seemed to have gotten Daryl’s attention. Turning around to face you, you felt all the air leave your lungs and get stuck in a lump in your throat when your eyes met his for the first time in what seemed like forever. Despite looking more tired than he usually did, having a few more prominent worry lines on his face, and a seemingly fresh scar that covered his left eye, he looked like the same Daryl you had once known. For a moment, you had the urge to reach out and gently caress the new scar he had with the pad of your thumb, ask him what had happened, and tend to it with the small first-aid kit you had packed. But then the reality of your strained relationship hit you again, and you resisted performing that once common gesture.

From his spot on the ground, Daryl seemed to be taking in your presence as well; judging by his stalled silence and the way his eyes flitted over your face and down your body. Swallowing hard, you averted your gaze from him when the tension was becoming a little bit too much to bear.

“Ya didn’t have to do that.” Daryl drawled after a few heavy moments of silence had passed between the two of you. If your perception was correct, it seemed like he sounded a bit…guilty?

Shrugging your shoulders dismissively, you brought your gaze towards the sight of the rippling river. “I know…it’s just instinct at this point.”

With the way yours and Daryl’s dynamic worked, there were never awkward silences or moments of uncomfortable uncertainty of what to do with yourself when in each other's presences; you’ve always been able to find comfort within the silence you two would share.

However, the heaviness and tension that sat between the two of you now, that had never been there before, caused the hairs on the back of your neck to stand up in a mixture of alarm and dread.

“What’s goin’ on in that head of yours?” Daryl’s voice broke you out of your troubled thoughts.

Gnawing on your bottom lip anxiously, you shuffled closer to the riverbank until the toes of your dirtied combat boots touched the edge of where the water met the dirt. “I’m just confused about why I’m here…why now?”

Slowly, as if you were waiting for an inevitable blow to hit you squarely in the face, you turned your head to reface Daryl. He had a deep furrow in his eyebrows while the worry line between them was the deepest you had ever seen it. His teeth tugged anxiously at some dry skin on his bottom lip while his hands fidgeted uneasily on the tops of his perched knees. His blue eyes, which seemed to have lost whatever light he previously had left, couldn’t meet yours. You could see the gears moving in the archer’s head as he silently pondered over his next choice of words.

That alone had the nerves in your stomach flaring up and making it feel like your gut was being painfully twisted with sharp talons, or that you were being repeatedly sucker-punched in the stomach by a boxing glove. Placing a hand on your sensitive abdomen, you tried not to let yourself give into the sudden weakness of your knees.

“You wanna sit down? I got a lot I gotta say…to you.” Daryl admitted solemnly before swallowing hard.

“No…I’m alright.” Your response was immediate, and you would have been slightly embarrassed if you didn’t feel like you were minutes away from entering fight or flight. Daryl fell quiet again as he turned his gaze back towards the rippling water in front of him. Unable to bear the deafening silence and thick tension that was starting to feel like it was suffocating you, you attempted to coax Daryl to say whatever it was that was on his mind. “Whatever it is, just say it…I can’t take this silence anymore.”

It was barely noticeable, but after years of being close to Daryl and getting to know him inside and out, you didn’t miss the way he winced at the unusual sharpness in your tone. With a barely audible sigh, Daryl let out a grunt as he rose to his feet. Not bothering to brush off the dirt and leaves that stuck to his pants, he shoved his hands in the front pockets of his distressed black jeans.

“Somethin’ happened out here…maybe a couple months ago,” Daryl began as his downcast gaze remained solely focused on the riverbed. “I stumbled upon her cabin by accident a couple years ago, just after–after I stopped talkin’ to ya.”

Her.

For a moment, that was the only word ricocheting in your brain as your ears buzzed due to the sudden adrenaline rush that began to course through your veins. The nerve flare in your stomach became painfully more prominent, and the thought of taking flight started to sound even more appealing the longer the tantalizing pause stretched for.

“For a while, we got to talkin’…’bout nothin’ really, but somethin’ about talkin’ to someone new felt good,”

Please stop talking.

Don’t break whatever’s left of my heart.

“I don’t know how or why it happened–never saw her like that…but I–“ Daryl seemed to suddenly choke on his words as his head ducked even lower in shame.

You knew what was coming next; you had seen it coming miles away despite the fact of actively trying to ignore it. Tears that you refused to let drop pooled in your eyes as your tingling sinuses suddenly felt as if they were swelling. Your heart hammered against your ribcage as the center of your chest caved in due to the heavy anxiety that began to settle there.

“I’m sorry Y/N.” There was no gravel in his voice now. Instead, Daryl’s voice was soft and shaky. If your senses weren’t going into overload right now, you might’ve even thought he sounded like a completely different person.

“Say. It.” You bit out with venom in your mouth. Your fists were clenched tightly by your sides in an attempt to conceal your increasing anger. Not being able to face the archer, you could see him turn to you for a quick second from your peripheral vision.

“I–,” Choking on his words again, Daryl took in a shaky breath in an attempt to get the shameful sentence out of the confines of his throat. “I slept with her.”

When the admission reached your ears, you sucked in a sharp breath as your hands rose to rest on each side of your head. Your fingers slipped through the strands of your hair, the tips digging into your skull. Without your consent, the overflowed salty liquid that had built up in your eyes began to drop onto your cheeks and stream downwards towards your mouth. Your chattering teeth bit into your bottom lip as your eyes darted erratically across the expanse of water that was in front of you. It was like you were trying to look for something; answers, in the rapids, but you knew you would only find those in Daryl. Letting out a shaky exhale, you paced up and down the riverbank in an attempt to ease the unbearable anxiety and anguish that was now aching your body.

Daryl’s mouth opened to say something, but he quickly shut it when whatever words he thought he could sputter out died on his tongue. What could he have to say that you would want to hear right now anyway? All Daryl could do was watch you from afar as you reeled from his confession, and wait for you to speak first–if you even wanted to speak, that is.

You thought you had a lot of questions for Daryl before showing up to his camp, but now, as you tried so hard not hyperventilate and let heartache consume every cell that made up your body, you had about a hundred more questions ricocheting so fast in your brain you could hardly keep track of them all.

What was her name?

What does she look like?

What does she have that I don’t?

How many times did it happen?

Does he love her?

Despite having all of these troubling questions, there was only one that you could barely manage to choke out. “Why?”

Your voice was quiet and horse due to the stain of suppressing the emotions and sobs of heartache that were building up within your chest. So quiet in fact, that Daryl’s enhanced hearing thanks to the years he has spent hunting, had almost missed it. But he heard you; and didn’t have an answer that you deserved.

“I don’t know.” The archer whispered in shame as a bitter cold breeze gusted over him, which felt more like a slap in the face than anything else. Maybe Daryl had also lost Mother Nature’s respect, and this was her way of dishonoring him.

Still unable to look at Daryl, you shook your head in anger, unsatisfied with the answer he had given you. “Bullshit. Try again.”

Although there was a brokenness in your wavering voice, there was also a strong sense of demand and venom, which caused Daryl to wince again due to how unnatural it sounded coming from you. Running a stressed hand down his scruffy face, Daryl’s eyes darted over the dirt ground as he dug deep within himself in order to give you the answer you deserved.

He knew nothing he would say would excuse what he had done, and he wasn’t looking for forgiveness or compassion from you. Daryl just knew that you deserved to know what he had done. If there was any chance of salvaging your relationship, he wanted to be transparent and honest. He couldn’t carry on knowing he was selfishly keeping that knowledge away from you.

“Before, when you’d come to visit me…it was too hard. I felt like I’d just–just breakdown and have to deal with Rick not bein’ here anymore. I didn’t wanna face it, and I still can’t…so I put distance between us.” Biting down on his quivering lower lip, Daryl blinked away the stinging sensation in his eyes.

“So, what? Did your sudden abandonment mean that it was okay to fuck another woman!? You didn’t exactly give me a breakup note, or anything for that matter, before you left!” You exclaimed while throwing your hands up in the air to further express your anger. This sudden surge of rage gave you the courage to face the archer.

“No! That ain’t it!” Daryl shouted defensively as his once ducked head rose and his eyes darted over to you. Squeezing his eyes shut once he saw you recoil due to his sudden raised voice, Daryl let out a heavy exhale as he tried to compose himself of the anger he was in no position of feeling.

“Then why!?” Your voice now sounded desperate as your bottom lip trembled uncontrollably. Fresh tears filled with frustration and sadness pooled in your eyes again, making the image of Daryl blurry.

“It just happened! We were–we were stuck in her cabin because of a heavy storm outside, and–she was just there…I guess I just didn’t wanna be alone anymore,” Shaking his head in shame, Daryl pinched the bridge of his nose in an attempt to stop the tears from falling from the corners of his eyes. “I thought I’d blown it with you, and that too much time had passed.”

It felt like an invisible force had knocked the wind out of you when Daryl’s choppy admission reached your ears. You’d asked for it, demanded it really, but it didn’t mean that would lessen the blow. Despite being outside in the middle of a forest, you felt as if walls that weren’t viewable from the naked eye were suddenly closing in on you. A quiet whimper escaped from your throat as you sucked in a sharp breath, you lungs suddenly in need for more oxygen.

“I never gave up on us! Even when you weren’t giving me anything to hold on to, I still held out hope!” You shouted in anger, your voice becoming raw and strained. Fresh tears escaped from your eyes and splattered onto the dirt ground beneath you. Daryl stayed quiet, listening, and letting you speak. “For three years, I kept a light on for you at night, and kept clean clothes set out for you on that stupid armchair you hate! If you had given me the chance, I would’ve been able to tell you it was never too late!”

By the end of your sentence, your anger had morphed into sorrow. At the sight of your pained expression hearing how worn your voice sounded, sharp pains stabbed through the center of his chest. For a second, he thought he was having a heart attack; but Daryl knew it was just from the guilt of having caused you to feel so much anguish.

“Rick’s disappearance fucked me up too, but not enough to cheat on you.”

With your final statement hanging heavily in the air, you swallowed the lump in your throat and let the heavy pack that was still sitting uncomfortably on your shoulder fall to the ground. Slowly, you began to back away towards the shrubbery you had previously emerged from. If you had it your way, you’d be running back to your horse, but your weak knees and wobbly legs could only move at an excruciatingly slow pace.

“Y/N?” Daryl’s nerves suddenly shot up when he noticed your figure shrinking away. He didn’t know what else there was to talk about or talk through; the archer knew you needed time, but it still pained him to see you go.

“I–I need to go–need time.” You could barely form words, or even a sentence that sounded grammarly correct, but that was all you were able to sputter out before hopping over the hidden line of protective traps and disappearing through the forest shrubbery.

With weakening limps and spinning vision, you clumsily retrieved the reigns that had been tied to a branch and mounted your horse. Not wasting another minute, you commanded the stallion to take off with a dig of your heels and raced out of the woods. As the wind blew your hair in every which way, the sobs you had previously forced yourself to conceal were now wracking your body.

Unbeknownst to you, Daryl had, while keeping his distance, followed after you. With teeth biting into his bottom lip so hard he was drawing blood, the archer watched helplessly as your shaking figure got farther and farther away, and the sobs that filled the air became more quiet due to the distance that was growing between you and him.

You felt foolish for holding onto your relationship with Daryl for so long, even when he was giving you every sign that said to let go. Before arriving at his camp, you had high expectations that were filled with a sense of yearning and hope of being able to get to where the two of you had once stood. Now, as you left with salty tears streaming down your face and a pain you’d never had to feel before stabbing at your chest, you were filled with a heavy sense of despair and betrayal.

It felt like the pain you were feeling would never go away, which made you unsure if you’d ever be able to handle seeing Daryl again, or if you even wanted to see him again.

Part 2

#daryl dixon #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon x you #daryl dixon x y/n #daryl dixon fanfiction #the walking dead #twd #the walking dead fanfiction #twd fanfiction

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tender-rosiey · 1 year

Note

If the promote requests are still open,could I please request the ''it’s always been you'' kisses with Dazai :D ??

Thankkk youu!!

everlasting — dazai osamu x gn!reader

“y/n…?”

at the sound of your name being called, you look behind you and find dazai standing there. you also caught a glimpse of his hand that quickly retracted to his side; did he want to comfort you?

isn’t it pointless now? too late? so you wipe your tears and speak up, voice hoarse, “do you need something, dazai?”

he gets closer and you can’t find the power to back away from him even when you desperately want to. after all, you did say that you would move on from him and try to forget about your feelings.

but as your luck warranted, while you were chatting with yosano passionately about how you will move on and will definitely stop loving dazai, said man was outside of the door the entire time and heard every single word.

hence why you thought that it would be better if you started avoiding him first. you didn’t want to wait until he verbally rejected you or maybe even just avoid you as a way of conveying said rejection.

however, for some reason, you can’t decipher why dazai keeps on following you and trying to find you despite you clearly showing that you’re avoiding him.

all of that had happened throughout a week, and now, with the start of a new one, it seemed like he was still determined about finding you.

which brings us to now.

he, now, has you all alone on your favorite bridge, which he knew because you have mentioned that you find solace in this place, where you can’t escape to anywhere but the water. the water was too cold either ways so he was sure that you wouldn’t jump.

hopefully.

“do you really like me?” he asked softly and you couldn’t find it in you to look him in the eyes as you nod gently.

“but I will get over it soon so don’t worry,” you smile, but it barely reaches your eyes. meanwhile, dazai just sighs before slowly reaching for your hands and holding them in his own.

“I don’t need a rejection, dazai—“

“it’s always been you, you know that, right?”

you pause and look at him, bewildered so he continues, “no one has been on my mind as much as you are,” he takes a deep breath, “no matter how many people I see, my heart always has you in it.”

“despite my ever so impressive vocabulary, I can never find the words to describe just how much I feel for you.”

silence fills the air, after his confession. slowly, you look up at him, “why now? and if it really has always been me then why did you still flirt with others?”

“I tried to get over you, but it never worked,” he breathes out and you nod lightly, but look away which makes his heart ache, “y/n, believe me when I say that I really do love you.”

“then why didn’t you say anything? why did you opt to flirt with every woman you laid on?”

“I was…scared.”

scared of what? the answer hangs in the air so you take it upon yourself to tell your reason.

“I didn’t say anything because, from what I saw, you showed no interest in me whatsoever,” you speak up, stare hardening as you look at him once again.

“I didn’t do a good job on conveying my true feelings, forgive me…” he mumbles and you simply look at him.

it’s his turn to nod gloomily and to let go of your hands, “I can’t force you to accept me or give us a try, but I want you to know that my heart will always belong to you.”

you raise an eyebrow and he cuts you off, “I am not flattering you by any means,” a look of determination appears on his face as he takes your hand gently and places it on his heart.

for the first time, in all your years of knowing dazai, you feel his heart race and while he doesn’t have the red hue that normally paints the face of someone who is flustered, but his feelings are there.

you purse your lips then sigh, slowly wrapping your arms around him and burying your face in his chest, “if you hurt me, then I will torture you.”

“dying by your hands would be an honor,” he chuckles before embracing you. you start feeling pecks on your shoulder that slowly reach your cheeks.

“such beauty you have, belladonna,” he says pressing a kiss to your forehead and his hand reach your face and starts caressing your cheek, “inside and outside,” and he seals your lips together.

your own hand slowly moves to cup his cheek as well, and you feel him smile lightly through the kiss and you can’t help but do the same.

taglist: @magenta-cat-drawingss @pompompurin1028 @scul-pted @dazaisdeathwish @requiem626k @nameless-shrimp @shinys-bsd-world-1 @sonder-paradise @ravenina14 @jessbeinme15s-notebook @todorokichills @ginneko @missrown @shrynkk @simplyxsinned @beautiful-is-boring @bakugossanity @izukus-gf @irethepotato @thekaylahub @luciferspen @aeanya @sweetcloudsimp @moon-catto @waosobii

do not copy or plagiarize or i will hit you with a hanger

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according2thelore · 17 days

Note

can i mention ls/es verse on this mommy monday? bc the old versions seem like such a fucked up fountain of that ☺️

YES YOU MAY MENTION THAT, AND YOU SHOULD!!

putting a cut for brief nsft and a dash of mommy monday

it's hard to say which dean truly out-mommies.

on one hand, LS!Dean is so domesticated, and "is nesting" so like. obviously. yes.

he makes sam sandwiches and wraps him in little towels and lovingly tends to sammy's injuries while saying how proud he is of his little boy and how important he is.

he tells sam no with a strong voice, and sam really only follows through with a lot of it if he has dean's permission, lmao. like for the trials, S!1-2 sam would absolutely attempt do them behind dean's back anyways, but they actually have a conversation about it in S!8 (as stilted as it is) and he gets his mommy's permission! so nice!

but on the other hand ES!Dean is A MOMMY! he's overprotective and controlling and tries so desperately to get sammy's approval. sammy is his preteen and has decided that dean's not cool anymore, so dean is frantically trying to bring up things they did when he was younger like "oh haha don't u remember that time that we fought that werewolf in jackson? good times 🥺 </3"

he cradles sam's face in his hands and places thumbs at the back of his neck so sammy can't break eye contact, because he can tell from just one look if he's going to be okay.

he brushes off sammy's worse injuries like the classic "get up, shake it off" and jumps head-first off of a three-story bridge because sammy goes first.

ES!Sammy is dean's misbehaving thirteen-year-old that wears uneven black nail polish and combs his bangs over his eyes and talks about the "darkness in his soul" and dean is cooing over him and insisting that "my kid's not the problem. YOUR little brat on the other hand..." and rolls up to PTA meetings with chunky highlights and a purse filled with bricks.

but in the ES/LS verse, i think LS!Dean would probably ultimately out-mommy.

because like...c'mon.

LS!Sam and LS!Dean have settled so much into that dynamic, into the quiet dance of caring and being cared for, of power being already negotiated and traded. they're a lot more comfortable in the language of tending (even though they're definitely Still Weird), whereas ES!Sam&Dean tend to inject caring and caretaking with a power struggle that they're not used to yet. ES!Sam gets a little frustrated and resentful when ES!Dean's concern/attempts at mothering (to be frank) come off as patronizing. LS!Sam seems a lot more accepting that LS!Dean's attention can chafe, and while he sometimes still snaps, he also kind of basks in it. he loves when dean gets a little possessive or protective and loves it when dean becomes reassuring (thinking S!8 finale). they definitely negotiate that power more deftly than in ES, and so ultimately, i think they're more comfortable with the idea of "mommy."

but also, LS!Dean is putting his whole pussy into mommying. he's got TWO little baby brothers to look out for? mommy overload.

like...

LS!Dean is showing ES!Sam how to fix the engine on some random, shit-ass ford pinto in the bunker's garage, and when he gestures ES!Sam over with a quiet "c'mere baby, you see how the--" not even thinking about it, and ES!Sam goes absolutely perfectly fucking still because oh my god? holy shit?

and LS!Dean crowds in behind him, voice low in his ear, "you see how the rotor's not connected here? so what do we do when the fan's tilted like that?"

and sam shakily picks up one of the wrenches and makes some adjustment, and a hand slaps down low on sam's waist, turning the skin into live wires. sam jumps a little at the touch, not used to something so openly affectionate, to the sheer size and weight of the man behind him.

"good boy, sammy," LS!Dean murmurs, right into his hair, "you're payin' attention so well."

the words white-out sam's brain, fuzzing warm and hot and spilling over like a pot on a stove. and ES!Sam is suddenly, achingly hard, chest heaving, leaning back into LS!Dean's chest, almost blind with how bad he needs...something.

something is crawling up his throat and down his legs and he should feel patronized--he's not a fucking dog--but the praise goes straight to his cock and to the back of his neck, prickling the hairs there and his heart is hammering and his mouth opens and--

anyway. happy mommy dean monday!

-lizzy

#ask box #lizzy answers #ES/LS verse #anon <3 #mommy dean monday #spn meta #how did i get so loquacious about mommyhood on this here blog #life is beautiful

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juliedrawz · 8 months

Text

I saw some old posts where people addressed Héctor's flaws. I got stomach aches reading them because I think they got it totally wrong! I couldn't get it out of my mind, so here I am, putting my salt into the soup!

First things first, EVERYONE's got flaws! Nobody is perfect. Everyone's done and is doing mistakes. And with Héctor, we need to look very carefully, consider 1. His character and 2. His situation.

Right off the bat, what some see as flaws are actually GOOD character traits merely tending to bring trouble because the world is dark and twisted most of the time! Héctor is one of the most selfless and altruistic characters ever! He'd give everything for those he loves and this immense love also makes him reckless sometimes.

Let's beginn with the first flaw pointed out by others.

"Héctor let himself be persuaded to go on tour with Ernesto. He should have said no."

Yes, Ernesto talked Héctor into his idea, BUT, they were best friends! As close as brothers! Héctor came along because 1. He loved Ernesto and 2. He wanted to provide for his wife and daughter! Even if that meant he had to do something he was slightly uncomfortable with. Ignoring his wants to stay at home, he took the chance! He took the risk. If being away for a while meant more money and hence a better life for his family, he gladly make that jump! It is absolutely selfless but also admireble! Like, that's what a good father does! He couldn't have know how much Ernesto would change during that time, nor that he would eventually snap and get him killed. And Héctor did stand up for himself! He's not a weak, idiot who let's himself get pushed around! Most of the time he's just peace seeking and slow to anger! Which, are RIGHT traits according to God! And to me too! It might get you hurt and some people might take adventage of your kindness but what exactly is bad then? Your kindness, selflessness or those mean people? Aha, see what I'm getting at? Nobody should change their positove traits or harden their hearts just because others are in darkness! It's a whole different thing to draw lines and stand up for yourself. And Héctor does!

"His irresbonsibility"

*big sigh* Ok, there are 2 reasons mentioned to put the stamp irresponsible on Héctor's forehead and it get's me mad!

The thing about him lending things and losing them all! Well, Héctor tried desperatly to cross the flower bridge for decades! He tried everything to cross. Lending himself stuff and noz being able to return them wasn't because he's careless and irresponsible! He just couldn't bring them back! Take a look at his broken bones, his knocked out teeth, his scratches and THINK for a second! All the horrific accidents he must have gotten into. He surely aimed to bring each and every item back but they all got lost or destroyed in the process. And I don't think Héctor made an attempt to cross with it most likely failing at the back of his mind. He just went for it! Remember how he bolted forward once he was through the check? All his mind is focused on is "I need to get to and see my baby!" And before that it was "I need to get to and see my wife and baby!"

If Héctor had the chance to bring the items back, he would have! He wanted to take the Frida costume back but who forbit him to do so? The officer! (Joke's on him though because it'll be Ceci giving him hell later"

He was being irresponsible with Miguel ...

Someone said it would have been easier to just hand over Miguel to the police and have them sort it out! Well, have you seen how Miguel ran from his own family to get his way? He ran from Héctor too once he figured out Miguel had relatives around! Héctor helped Miguel first and foremost because out of desperstion! Miguel was the BIGGEST ticket for him to be able to cross, by letting him bring the photo back. But for Miguel to do so, he had to help him bring him to Ernesto. And that's what Héctor did. He tried hi best to get Miguel to Ernesto as fast as possible. Not to forget, that it was a race of life and death for both.

And Miguel is a kid! And obviously he's acting like one now and then! And Héctor paniced when Miguel ran off. Because he worried for him! If his deal wouldn't work, he would look for another way but Miguel could die! Yes, Héctor might not always make right decissions, but he is giving his best and he always means well! And we also need tp consider his condition! He knows he'll most likely not last the night, yet he still risks that and helps Miguel.

Of course we see Hèctor later on pleading with Miguel one last time that they had a deal but then in the cenote, he caves in. He's getting weaker by the second, the process of him fading has begun. And even through his pain, he is still comforting Miguel.

Him being clumsy and him lying is also often seen as one of his flaws. And while I absolutely agree, that yes, he's a huge clutz and he's both accident prone and sometimes too reckless when it comes to his own health and savety, I wouldn't call his lying a flaw in the classical way. Because, the only times we see Héctor lying in the movie is so he can get as much as a hinge closer to his goal of crossing the bridge. That's how important his daughter is to him! Lying is never good, but he lies out of desperation. (In my book, young Héctor sometimes used his catch phrase "That was a lie! I apologize for it!" as a means of his humor, and, or to calm his opposite. And Héctor is darn humorous!

Now to what I point out in my book, not necessarily flaws but things that get Héctor into trouble often

His kindness

His altruismn, selflessness

Him ignoring his own needs and wants for the wellbeing of others

His clumsiness

His recklessness

His trait to always see the good in people

His stubborness

And while most of those are wonderful character traits, as mentioned above, in a world where such personalities as Hèctor are rare, it's hard to get around.

What do you guy's think?

#pixar coco #coco 2017 #coco hector #héctor rivera

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marvelfanfics1 · 2 years

Note

Yay! Daddy Lloyd is here! 😊 I have an idea for him. Could you please write a semi dark & fluff scenario where he's kidnapped reader early on, and has now turned her into his li'l angel? The Reader barely remembers the life she used to have for some reason, but is happy with Lloyd cause he treats her with love and respect. She was alone for so long, she didn't know she needed him until he came into her life. As for Lloyd, he loves her because of her sweet, naïve, and obedient nature. She always listens, naturally calms him down when he's on a rampage, and is completely dependent on him. -🐞

Meant To Be

(GIF not mine)

Pairing: soft!dark!daddy!lloyd x little!reader

Warnings: Age Regression, dark themes, swearing, mentions of kidnapping, some angst?, fluff

⭒𖥸⭒

"Everyone out!" Lloyd ordered when he saw you standing by the door and the people in the room rushed out to let you both alone. His stoic expression instantly turned into a smile when he saw you running towards him.

"Daddy!" you jumped in Lloyd's awaiting arms and wrapped your legs around his waist, kissing him.

"Hello, sunshine, how was your nap?" he asked, swaying you in his arms slightly.

"Was good but I missed you," you pout.

"Oh, you missed daddy's cuddles, hm?" nodding your head he carried you to a luxury big sofa, letting you sit on his lap. "I'm sorry, sugar. Daddy had some business to deal with and didn't want to wake you."

"Is otay," you smiled a little, starting to bounce on his lap. "Can we watch a movie?"

"Of course, my cute little baby," he cooed and you squeaked when he pinched your butt, standing back up with you, and made his way to the master bedroom.

On his way there he walked past the door he kept you locked in the first weeks after kidnapping you when you were on your way home after hanging out with friends, that you don't even really remember anymore.

Your life before Lloyd was just a blur in your head now, like an unfinished puzzle with too many pieces missing to give it any more attention or try to search for them.

You love your life like it is now, not having to do or worry about anything, having time to do whatever you want, and having a daddy who loves and cares for you!

Lloyd wasn't surprised that it didn't take long for him to break you because first, you were already broken, second, is your obedient and naive nature he absolutely loves, and third because he stalked you like a possessed man, which he is.

When he found you, you were at your lowest, you had no family, no one to really talk to and didn't have many friends either. It was perfect for Lloyd, nobody would ask questions or search for you, not that anyone could do anything to take you away from him.

It took him less than three weeks to turn you into his perfect little angel, always doing what you're told and if you do act up he's quick to put you back in your place.

He would be lying if he said he didn't like you acting up because his favorite thing is how clingy and depending you get on him after he punished you.

"Did you learn your lesson? Are you ready to be my good girl again?" he asked after giving you a spanking for talking back to him and raising your voice, a big no-no.

"Mhm..." you nod, crying silently and he helped you sit on his lap with your sore bum between his open legs, rubbing your back soothingly and giving you lots of kisses.

When Lloyd is on a Rampage his only way to calm down is you, holding you, talking to you, or even just your presence is enough to calm his nerves and move on with his work.

"Shit! Shit! SHIT!" he shouted, throwing his phone against the wall and turning to one of his men. "You. You're gonna have this mess fixed in 10 minutes or I'll blow your fucking head off of your shoulders!"

When the shaking guy left, Lloyd pinched the bridge of his nose, his head whipping to the side when he heard your footsteps approach.

You peeked inside the room and saw your daddy crouched down with his head tilted and smiling at you lovingly when he saw you sucking at your paci and holding your frog stuffie close.

You slowly made your way over to him looking around the room with all the people in it, who don't dare talk to or look at you, knowing it wouldn't end well for them if they did.

"What's wrong, angel?" he asked, taking one of your hands in his big ones, and kissing the back of it. "Did daddy scare you because of his yelling?"

You nod your head, arms reaching out as a sign of wanting to be held. Lloyd instantly straightened himself and picked you up, calming down when he inhaled your scent.

"There, everything's okay, Daddy's got ya," he whispered while leaving the room, not giving a fuck about his work at the moment.

Your life was perfect and you wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. You love your Daddy and wouldn't know how to survive without him, just like Lloyd wanted.

All his babying made you sink into the perfect headspace that he would never let you out of again.

⭒𖥸⭒

Taglist

@marvelsguantletkeeper @my-river-lilly @pauntedblacknails @fanfictioniseverything @devilslilbabysblog @buckymydarlingangel @hallecarey1 @daybreakwinter @loveshineslikethesky @wandaslittlewhore @vase-of-lilies @white-wolf1940 @simpingbutch @mischiefsemimanaged @alina02 @teddybearsgrr @doozywoozy @angelbabydoll28 @st3rgirl @glxwingrxse @lilymurphy03 @veryvaughnny @lokigirlszendaya @youngstarfishdinosaur @little--baby--bear @minideathgoddess @rach2602 @aagn360 @gh0stgurl

#little!reader #little reader #daddy!lloyd #daddy!lloyd hansen x little!reader #daddy!lloyd x little!reader #daddy!lloyd hansen #daddy lloyd hansen #daddy lloyd hansen x little reader #daddy lloyd x little reader #daddy lloyd

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zuko-always-lies · 2 years

Text

Toph was forced into joining Team Avatar more than she chose to do so[Toph meta]

Team Avatar didn’t intend this to happen, but their actions inadvertently led to this situation.

Before I begin, I would like to note that the conventional narrative surrounding Toph’s decision to join with the Gaang usually amounts to something like “Toph joined up because she was unhappy with her life with her parents and wanted a life of adventure.” At least, that’s what I thought until I happened to have a moment of insight recently. I happened to see a post which reminded me of this exchange from “The Chase”:

Katara: Ever since joining us you've been nothing but selfish and unhelpful. Toph: What? (Doing a half turn and pointing at Katara again.) Look here, sugar queen, (Drops arm and continues, Katara makes a gesture like she wants to interject.) I gave up everything I had so that I could teach Aang earthbending, so don't you talk to me about being selfish!

This didn’t exactly correspond to the conventional wisdom on why she joined Team Avatar. As we shall see, it doesn’t exactly correspond with the reality of what happened, either, yet it’s easy to see why Toph feels that way.

In “The Blind Bandit,” Toph’s introductory episode, Team Avatar try to recruit Toph since Aang thinks she’s destined to be his earthbending teacher. Their first real exchange goes like this:

Aang: (airbending himself to his feet) Well, a crazy king told me I had to find an earthbender who listens to the earth. And then I had a vision in a magic swamp and... Katara: (cutting Aang off) What Aang is trying to say is, he's the Avatar, and if he doesn't master earthbending soon he won't be able to defeat the Fire Lord. (The Bandit sticks her open hand in Katara's face, who looks taken aback.) Toph: Not my problem. Now get out of here or I'll call the guards. Sokka: Look, we all have to do our part to win this war. And yours is to teach Aang earthbending. (Cut to a shot of the Bandit's back as Sokka speaks. When he concludes, she turns around, looking distraught.) Toph: Guards! Guards, help!

Toph declines the offer to join, while demonstrating she doesn’t care that much about the war or regard it as her job to help lead the Earth Kingdom to victory.

Later on, Aang and Toph have a more substantial exchange:

Toph: Even though I was born blind, I've never had a problem seeing. (They reach the end of the bridge and she jumps off the guardrail and lands on the ground.) Toph: I see with earthbending. It's kind of like seeing with my feet. I can feel the vibrations in the earth, and I can see where everything is. You, that tree, even those ants. (The screen zooms backward three times as Toph speaks, each time showing a wider overhead shot of the pair. At the mention of the ants, cut to a shot from ground level showing Aang and Toph in the background. In the foreground, some ants are silhouetted waling across over a mound of dirt. Aang looks around, but is unable to see that ants that Toph is talking about. He finally turns to her with a smile.) Aang: That's amazing. Toph: (frustrated) My parents don't understand. They've always treated me like I was helpless. Aang: Is that why you became The Blind Bandit? Toph: Yeah. Aang: Then why stay here where you're not happy? Toph: They're my parents. Where else am I supposed to go? Aang: (pause, then with a smile) You could come with us. Toph: Yeah. You guys get to go wherever you want. No one telling you what to do, that's the life. It's just not my life. (The camera slowly zooms in on Toph as she speaks. When she concludes, her head turns suddenly as she senses something amiss. She drops to her knees and places a hand on the ground.)

Toph emphasizes that she feels the allure of the Gaang’s lifestyle and freedom, but also that she wants to remain home with her parents, even though she has to hide who she is from them and they don’t understand her. Although this isn’t directly stated, a huge issue here is that she deeply loves them and doesn’t want to leave them. Her real wish is that her parents would not only love her but understand her and allow her openly live the kind of active life she loves.

Obviously, Toph and Aang soon get kidnapped, and Toph has to step up to save Aang in front of her parents and show them the other side of her to their disbelieving eyes.

Katara: Toph, there's too many of them. We need an earthbender. We need you! (Toph, Lao and Yu turn to look backwards, then cut to a shot of Lao.) Lao: (angry) My daughter is blind. (camera pans down and to the left to reveal Toph, holding her father's hand) She is blind and tiny and helpless and fragile. (Toph closes her eyes) She cannot help you. (Toph snaps her hand back from her father's.) Toph: Yes, I can.

Note, however, that she never says anything in this scene which amounts to a commitment to join Team Avatar.

Soon Toph has defeated her opponents, and she, her parents, and Team Avatar sit down for a chat.

Toph: Dad, I know it's hard for you to see me this way, but the obedient little helpless blind girl that you think I am just isn't me. I love fighting. I love being an earthbender. And I'm really, really good at it. I know I've kept my life secret from you, but you were keeping me secret from the whole world. You were doing it to protect me. But I'm twelve years old and I've never had a real friend. So now that you see who I really am, I hope it doesn't change the way you feel about me. Lao: Of course it doesn't change the way I feel about you, Toph. It's made me realize something. Toph: (hopeful) It has? Lao: Yes. I've let you have far too much freedom. From now on, you will be cared for and guarded 24 hours a day. Toph: But dad! Mrs. Bei Fong: We are doing this for your own good, Toph.

Note that Toph does not actually ask for her parent’s permission to join Team Avatar. She doesn’t even mention the possibility, nor does she say anything which amounts to her agreeing to do so if her parents give her permission. In fact, from what we’ve seen in this episode, it’s not clear if anyone has ever actually unambiguously articulated the fact that Team Avatar wants Toph to join them as Aang’s earthbending teacher to Toph’s parents.

Instead, what Toph asks her parents to do is accept her as who she is. She wants their acceptance of who she really is more than anything. It seems like what she wants to do is to be able to live an active lifestyle while staying with her parents, wants them to love her for who she is while allowing her to combine her lives. She doesn’t want to leave with Team Avatar, she wants to stay at home and live a free life with loving, understanding parents. It’s not clear if Team Avatar understands that this is what she’s asking for, though.

Of course, Toph’s parents reject this, and instead tell her that they will do everything they can to control her, eliminate her double life, and prevent from being active at all. Hence the following exchange:

Aang: I'm sorry, Toph. Toph: I'm sorry, too. Goodbye, Aang.

This is just about the only lines in the episode you could plausibly read as evidence Toph had already decided she wanted to join Team Avatar.

When Team Avatar first arrived, Toph had a choice: she could either continue to live her double life even though she felt unhappy since her parents didn’t accept the real her, or she could leave them behind for a life of adventure. She choose the former. Due to the unintended consequences of Team Avatar’s actions, she no longer had that choice by the end of the episode. She could only choose between becoming nothing more than her parent’s perfect, controlled, doll, or joining the Gaang. Both what she really wanted(her parents’ acceptance of the real her) and the compromise she could live with were gone. Hence the following scene:

Cut to a shot of the bushes behind them. Toph runs through them, breathing heavily. Aang's turns to see her with a look of wonder.) Aang: Toph! What are you doing here? Toph: My dad changed his mind. He said I was free to travel the world. Sokka: (he and Katara look at each quickly) Well, we'd better get out of here - before your dad changes his mind again. Toph: Good idea. Aang: You're gonna be a great teacher, Toph. Toph: (slyly) Speaking of which, I want to show you something. Aang: Okay. (Aang airbends himself out of Appa's driver's seat. As he lands in front of Toph, she taps the ground with her foot and a rock erupts from the ground, throwing Aang out of the frame. Cut to a shot from the branches of a nearby tree. Aang hangs from one of them by his feet.) Toph: Now we're even.

This makes it understand why Toph was carrying around so much resentment in the next episode she appears in “The Chase,” and why she was so willing to leave the Gaang behind then.

#Toph #Toph meta #I would like emphasize she never actually agrees or asks to join the Gaang before the end #I think this a very reasonable take which makes Toph more complex #you could read the episode otherwise but I think this reading actually makes the most since #sense #Avatar The Last Airbender #ATLA #avatar the last airbender meta #ATLA meta #toph beifong #Beifong family #lao beifong #poppy beifong #Katara #Aang #Sokka #avatar: tla #avatar

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renecdote · 1 year

Text

blue enough to bruise

For @evanbucxley my love 💛

Two things happen at once:

Buck overbalances, arm slipping from around the bridge.

The rope snaps.

They lock eyes for a second, half a second, Buck’s wide and afraid, Eddie’s probably a match with the way his heart is pounding hard enough to hurt, nothing either of them can do, knowing that there is nothing either of them can do, and then—Buck is falling.

For BTHB: falling from a great height

[Read on AO3]

Eddie has just poured himself a cup of coffee when the call comes in. They’re all in the truck seconds later, headsets on, half the crew still wiping sleep from their eyes. Adrenaline hasn’t kicked in yet, but Eddie can already feel the anticipation building. The thing about early morning calls is that they always seem to be easy or awful, rarely anything in-between. Sometimes they can tell as soon as they arrive at a scene, but Eddie can’t pinpoint which way this one is going to go when they pull up, jumping out of the engine in the middle of a looming, six-lane bridge that police have already cordoned off on one side.

“Jumper?” Chimney asks.

Bobby frowns. “Doesn’t sound like it, he called 911 himself.”

Eddie cranes his head, squinting into the sunlight to see the figure clinging like a monkey two thirds of the way up a towering support beam.

“How did he even get up there?” Buck wonders aloud.

“Let’s focus on how we’re getting him down,” Bobby answers. “Buck, Eddie, I want you both in harnesses. We’ll send you up on the ladder, but it won’t reach all the way so you’ll have to climb.”

They harness up quickly. Eddie was worried when he came back to the 118 that he might have lost the easy familiarity of things like this—putting on a harness, reaching for the right item in a med kit, knowing exactly what Buck is going to say before he says it—but he’s been back for almost six months now and most days it feels like he never left. He checks Buck’s harness, tugging on the straps to make sure they’re secured properly, and Buck checks his in turn. Easy, familiar.

“Ready?” Eddie asks.

Buck nods. “Ready.”

They knock wrists: easy, familiar. Chimney called it a superstition once, which kicked off another jinx-esque debate that lasted all through one twenty-four shift and into the next. It had only been surpassed by the great ‘is a hotdog a sandwich?’ debate, which was rehashed with increasing intensity through a whole cycle of shifts until Bobby banned it ever being mentioned in the firehouse again.

(Eddie maintains, though, a hotdog is definitely a sandwich.)

Despite the bright day overhead, the water looks cold and angry below. Eddie has never been afraid of heights—can’t be afraid of heights in this job—but he tries not to look down. Better not to think about how far it would be to fall. The girders are slick with early morning condensation, cold metal and hot morning sun a deadly slip hazard. It forces them to go slow, every handhold carefully tested even with the harnesses to catch them if they fall. They work their way up, then across to where their caller is straddling a crossbeam. Slowly. Carefully. Up close, Eddie can see that he’s wearing climbing gear—or an amateur’s idea of climbing gear, at least—and he can’t be older than twenty-five.

“Oh thank god,” he sobs when they reach him. “I don’t want to die.”

Buck and Eddie exchange looks.

“Just stay still,” Eddie tells the kid. “My partner and I are going to put this harness on you and then lower you down to our team. Don’t try to help unless we tell you to.”

He keeps expecting it to go wrong. Eight out of ten times, the person you tell to stay still when they’re in a dangerous situation doesn’t listen, their mind too clouded with panic for rational thought. But this guy’s fear response must be freeze, not flight or fight, because even once he’s in the harness, it takes several minutes of coaxing to get him to actually let go. They lower him slowly and Eddie feels like he’s holding his breath until Chimney and Ravi get a hold of the man and pull him down the ladder.

“Good work boys,” Bobby tells them. ��Now get yourselves down—carefully.”

Buck looks at him, grinning, and Eddie can’t help but grin back.

“Copy that, Cap,” he answers. “See you on the ground.”

They get halfway there.

Eddie is ahead, trying not to think about creaking ferris wheels, when he hears Buck’s bitten off curse. He looks up, something like dread itching at the back of his neck. He knew this call was going too smoothly.

“What’s wrong?”

“My line is stuck on something.” Buck tugs at it, then grabs quickly at the girders when he almost slips. “I can’t get it loose.”

He adjusts his grip, hugging the bridge with one arm, then tugs again, harder. Eddie follows the line of his rope up, up, up, trying to pinpoint where it has been snared. He doesn’t like what he sees: the rope isn’t just caught, it’s fraying, probably has been the whole time.

“Buck, wait—”

Two things happen at once:

Buck overbalances, arm slipping from around the bridge.

The rope snaps.

It doesn’t happen in slow motion. It’s all too fast, even with the way Eddie’s world narrows, the cacophony of voices on the radio nothing more than static in his ears. By the time he has reached uselessly into the air, Buck is tumbling six feet down, ten, twenty, then the shadow of the bridge swallows him whole. Eddie doesn’t see him hit the water, but he swears he feels it, fear and adrenaline like a lightning strike through his body, a Lichtenburg figure of grief already forming in its wake.

Buck told him once that he read about a guy who survived a fall from the Sydney Harbour Bridge. He was working on the construction when he fell 180 feet into the harbour below, coming out of it with nothing more than a few fractured ribs, bruises, and one hell of a story to tell.

“He wasn’t the only one who fell during construction,” Buck told him. “But he was lucky, he was a diver and he managed to turn in the air so he hit the water feet first. It’s probably the only reason he survived.”

Buck probably knows all the statistics, too, about people who have survived falls from bridges. About people who haven’t. Eddie doesn’t know the numbers, all he knows is that the higher the fall, the more likely you are to die, and this bridge is really fucking tall.

“Eddie.” Bobby’s voice is sharp through the radio. Focus. “Are you secure?”

Is he secure? Is he secure? Buck just fell of a bridge—a fucking bridge—and Bobby is worried about him?

Eddie grits his teeth. “I’m fine. Buck—”

“I know.” Calm. Somehow calm. “We’ve called in reinforcements, we’re going to get him.”

Bobby doesn’t say whether he thinks it will be rescue or recovery and Eddie feels too sick to ask. He’s sure his knuckles are white beneath his gloves with how hard he’s holding the girders, but he feels dizzying light. He needs to get down, but he has the strange, irrational feeling that as long as he doesn’t move, it’s not real. As long as he’s up here, he doesn’t have to face what might meet him on the ground.

“Eddie,” Bobby says again, gentler, and Eddie’s throat aches when he swallows.

“I know,” he replies, and he’s not sure if his voice trembles or if it just sounds that way because of how hard he’s fighting not to shake. He knows that if he starts, it’s not going to stop until he can get his hands on Buck, whole and warm and alive. (It might never stop.)

Eddie takes a deep breath. Closes his eyes for one second, two, three. Then he makes himself start climbing again.

***

It takes fifty-two minutes. Eddie keeps it together because he has to, because Bobby will sideline him if he doesn’t, because he needs to be doing something to help or the black hole growing in his chest is going to suck him in completely.

The Coast Guard have taken over the water, which leaves Eddie and the rest of the 118 spreading along the waterfront. Down here, the current is stronger than it looked from the towering height of the bridge. Buck is a strong swimmer, probably the strongest on the team, but he can’t swim if all his bones are broken. And as much as Eddie doesn’t want to think about it, he can’t stop running through every possible outcome in his mind, each worse than the last. He’s making himself dizzy. Lightheaded. He’s going through the motions of search and rescue (rescue, not recovery, rescue), but he feels—adrift. Like it was his own line that snapped when Buck fell, leaving him untethered in a growing storm, battered by wind and rain, cut through with every crack of thunder and blinding flash of lightning.

Eddie rubs at his chest, feeling like he can’t breathe even though he knows, logically, that he can. He can breathe, and they’re going to find Buck, and everything will be fine. It has to be fine.

He talked about it with Frank, once. What it was like to come home and tell Christopher that his mom had died. What it might have been like for Buck to tell Christopher that Eddie had been hurt. All the times Eddie worried that he might have to go home and tell his son that Buck did something reckless on a call, but this time luck wasn’t on his side.

“And what about you?” Frank asked, mild the way he always was when he was about to make Eddie feel like a piñata, turned upside down and beaten until all his feelings poured out.

“What about me?”

“You’ve told me how hard it would be for Christopher, having that conversation, helping him through his grief,” Frank answered. “But what about your own feelings? Your own grief?“

Eddie still doesn’t like to think about that question. Losing Buck won’t kill him because it can’t, not as long as he still has Christopher to think about, but he knows already that some part of him will break in a way that he’s not sure he’ll ever recover from. Not sure he would want to recover from.

He shivers. The wind is picking up, cold despite the sun glaring overhead, and the long sleeves of his LAFD shirt have none of the warmth of old-fashioned metal armour. Or maybe it’s just Eddie that is cold. The rest of the team look serious but unaffected as they move along the waterfront, searching for any sign that Buck might have pulled himself out of the water.

If he could have pulled himself out of the water.

If he could have swam at all.

If he’s not—

“We’ve got him.”

That lightning again, fear and adrenaline and grief, his heart in his throat until the confirmation comes almost a full minute later: “He’s alive.”

Eddie isn’t aware that his knees are giving out until Chimney and Hen are catching him and the three of them are sinking to the ground together.

“Thank god,” Hen manages.

“Kid has about nine dozen lives,” Chimney adds, and Eddie chokes on something that is more relief than laugh. His mind is a feedback loop of he’s alive he’s alive he’s alive, so vivid he swears he can taste it.

“Come on,” Bobby says, gathering them all. “They’re taking Buck in, we can meet him at the hospital.”

***

It takes ninety-six minutes.

Buck has been wheeled back by the time they all get to the hospital, and all the triage nurse will tell them is that the doctor will let them know when there’s news. They’ve done this more than a few times now—the vigil, the agonising waiting—but years of practice does nothing to ease the crawling under Eddie’s skin.

“Maddie is on her way,” Chimney tells them, and Eddie doesn’t even know when he had time to call her.

He doesn’t know when Hen and Ravi slipped away to buy coffees either, but his fingers wrap automatically around a paper cup when it is pressed into his hand. He doesn’t cry, even though he feels like he’s breathing through the hot press of tears every second that they wait, scattered in an all-too-familiar pattern around another all-too-familiar waiting room. Maddie and Chimney holding hands, Bobby bent forward in something like prayer, Hen a steady calm two seats down from Eddie, Ravi’s knee bouncing across from them.

And Eddie—Eddie still can’t breathe. There’s this part of him that thinks: Buck is with the doctors now, he’ll be okay. There’s a bigger part that thinks: Buck is with the doctors now, but what if he’s not okay?

He’s the first one on his feet when the doctor steps out and calls, “family for Evan Buckley?”

It’s good news. Mostly. Monitor and hope things don’t go downhill news. Two broken fingers, fractured ribs, cuts and bruises, the threat of pneumonia or some other nasty infection from the water he swallowed. But—Buck is gong to be okay. Is okay. Eddie has to pinch himself, hidden in the sensitive underside of his wrist, right over his stuttering pulse, just to make sure that this is real. That he’s not going to blink and find himself still suspended from that bridge, watching his best friend fall to his death without even a hope of stopping it.

His arm stings.

Bobby squeezes his shoulder.

Eddie blinks and the hospital doesn’t blur around him.

“Can we see him?” Maddie asks, still hand in tightly held hand with Chimney.

Eddie lets the others go ahead of him. He just—needs a minute. And he’s selfish, maybe, because he wants Buck all to hisself—needs Buck to himself—but. He thinks this is the kind of thing he’s allowed to be a little selfish about.

(He knows, somewhere just beneath the surface, hidden from everyone else but always itching, itching, itching, that Buck is the one thing he’s never been able to stop himself from being selfish about.)

***

“Hey.”

Buck looks up quickly, then winces at whatever hurt it aggravates. But he’s smiling, tired and wilting at the edges but genuine, when he answers, “Hey, Eds.”

Eddie grabs the chair beside the bed, sinking into it before his legs can give out under him. Exhaustion is following thick and fast on the heels of the relief that is spreading through him, putting down its tenuous roots along all the jagged Lichtenburg lines.

“You scared the hell out of me,” he says, and he’s trying to make it light, more relief than trembling, but he’s not sure he succeeds. The whole thing doesn’t feel like past tense quite yet.

“Sorry,” Buck says, guilty. “If it helps, I scared myself too.”

It helps more than it should, honestly, because the last time Eddie was in a hospital room like this with his best friend, he told Buck that he wasn’t expendable and saw in his eyes that he didn’t really believe it. It’s hard to believe that was eighteen months ago now. And at the same time, hard to believe it was only eighteen months ago.

This is the point where Eddie is supposed to make a joke, a flippant comment. But he can’t make his voice work around the ache in his throat because this was—it was close. Shot on a street in broad daylight kind of close. Trapped at the bottom of a well, crushed under a firetruck, forced into the back of an ambulance with a gun to their heads kind of close. He thinks… he knows, after months upon months of therapy, that he’s allowed to not be okay about that.

“Hey.” Gentle. Almost as gentle as the way Buck threads their fingers together and squeezes Eddie’s hand. “I’m here.”

Eddie doesn’t know if there is a right time to kiss your best friend. Three hours ago, maybe, or three years ago. It doesn’t feel right to do it now, with Buck in a hospital bed and the adrenaline still fizzling under his skin, but it feels wrong to wait a second longer too. What did he tell Chimney all those years ago? Tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone.

The kiss is soft and gentle, Buck’s lips dry against his own. Buck makes a sound in the back of his throat, starts to open his mouth like it’s instinct, hand fisting in Eddie’s shirt, but Eddie pulls away. Forehead against forehead for a second, three seconds, breathing together, then he forces himself to sit back. He—doesn’t regret it. Maybe he should, but. He doesn’t.

“Eds…”

Buck’s voice is weak, his eyes suddenly watery.

Eddie shakes his head because he’s a coward; he knows what Buck is going to say and he’s not strong enough to hear it.

“When you’re ready,” he says, squeezing Buck’s hand. “I’m here, okay? Whenever you’re ready.”

Tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone, but Eddie would promise Buck a thousand tomorrows—a hundred thousand of them—anyway.

Buck’s eyes search his before he asks, “What if I’m never ready?”

Eddie smiles, even though the thought makes him ache. “That’s okay too.”

There was a part of him that was expecting to be rejected entirely, even though… Even though it’s Buck, and most days he feels like he knows Buck better than he knows himself. The way he smiles when he’s hurting, the way his eyes light up when he’s excited, the absurd combinations of condiments he likes on sandwiches. The way he craves reassurance but would never ask for it, the fact that he scrubs his favourite white sneakers with a toothbrush to keep them clean, the stories behind all the scars he doesn’t like to talk about. There are secrets in Buck’s skin, behind his smiles, breathed into the way he speaks and feels and loves, and Eddie know—not all of them, probably, but most.

He knows Buck and he knows that he loves him. That he’ll always love him. That one day Buck might show up on his doorstep and say he loves Eddie too.

“Will you stay?’ Buck asks.

I’ll stay forever, you don’t even have to ask.

“Of course,” Eddie answers. “Nowhere else I’d rather be.”

Christopher is at school, the rest of their team is headed home to sleep off the twenty-four, and Buck—Buck is here. Eddie settles more comfortably in his chair and pulls out his phone, ready to wait for as long as it takes. Buck smiles, soft and hidden in the way he ducks his head, and Eddie feels it like lightning through through his veins: love, love, love.

He doesn’t let go of Buck’s hand.

Buck doesn’t ask him to.

#Evan Buckley #Eddie Diaz #911 Fox #fic #badthingshappenbingo

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rebelwrites · 1 year

Text

Winner Takes It All || Seven Fraudulent Activities

Charles Leclerc x Valentina Hendrix (OC)

Winner Takes It All Masterlist

Summary: It’s Christmas Eve and things are starting to heat up and not in the good way.

Warnings: mentions of being arrested, GTA and assault.

A/N: I am so sorry I have made you wait so long for this part 🥺 hopefully the ending makes it up to you ❤️

As always reblogs and feedback is highly appreciated ❤️ if you want tagging in future parts let me know ❤️

No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t get back to sleep, every time I closed my eyes it was like a movie playing on repeat in my head.

The night Charles walked out on me.

It had been a while since I had been prisoner to this memory but being back around him caused it to resurface.

Kicking the duvet off I swung my feet around letting them land on the floor, my toes wiggling in the fluffy blanket that laid on the hardwood floor of one of the guest rooms. Running my hand over my face, I let out a shaky breath. This was one of my favourite times of year and he was spoiling it.

The smell of bacon and coffee drifted through the crack in the door causing my stomach to growl, Pascale’s Christmas Eve breakfast was one of the best meals I ever had tasted, she made everything; pancakes, waffles, fresh pastries, you named it she probably had it on the table. The sound of Charles’ laughter echoed through the house, causing my chest to tighten and tears to burn my eyes.

Fuck why was this so hard?

“Hendrix, tu ferais mieux de ramener ton cul ici avant que je ne mange toutes les crêpes. Hendrix, you better get your ass in here before I eat all the pancakes.” Arthur shouted up the stairs.

“Je jure devant Dieu que si tu manges toutes les crêpes, je te décapiterai bébé Leclerc. I swear to God that if you eat all the pancakes, I will decapitate you baby Leclerc.” I shouted back, quickly wiping my eyes before grabbing my Alpha Tauri hoodie forgetting it now had my number embroidered on the back, before running down the stairs

Taking a deep breath before I walked into the kitchen, I plastered a fake smile on my face as I made my way to the coffee machine, silently thanking that someone refilled the pot.

I stayed silent as I poured the drink, I was trying hard to bite my tongue as Becky was moaning about something that wasn’t on the table. Rolling my eyes before wrapping my hands around the mug.

“Maman, have you got any-“ I asked, scanning the table just to make sure I hadn’t seen them hiding away.

“Top cupboard above the fridge sweetie.” She smiled back at me, responding before I could even finish my sentence. “Bought them yesterday especially for you and hid them from the vultures.”

My heart swelled at the fact she remembered how much I loved them even after all the years that had passed.

“This isn’t fair, you buy her stupid caramel waffles yet there’s no grapefruit or dragon fruit for breakfast.” Becky screeched, causing me to wince.

I could see Charles pinching the bridge of his nose at his girlfriend's outburst.

“Firstly I’ve told you about your tone when you speak to me.” Pascale growled, gripping her knife and fork with so much force I was worried she was going to bend them. “And secondly, Valentina is and will always be my daughter so shut your mouth before I kick you out.”

I had to pull my first to my mouth to try and hide the chuckle that had escaped, I had a snarky comment sitting on the tip of my tongue and even though I was ready for a fight I decided to keep my mouth shut for once. Pascale threw a wink my way which I returned by blowing her a kiss before jumping on the counter top letting my ass land with a thud.

“You need a hand there Nugget?” Pierre hollered from across the table.

All eyes were on me as I pushed myself to my feet, once I was steady I leant up into my tiptoes letting my finger pull the cupboard door open. This was something I had perfected over the years.

“I’m good.” I smirked, reaching up into the cupboard blinding snaking my palm against the wood until I found what I was looking for.

“Little bear,” Lorenzo asked, causing me to glance over my shoulder. “Why are you wearing an Alpha Tauri hoodie with your race number?”

“Fuck,” I mumbled, hoping my lie was good enough “because it was a gift and you know manifesting and all that shit.” I hummed, jumping off the counter landing on my feet.

I noticed that Pierre, Pascale and my parents had to hide their proud smiles from everyone else. I was thankful that they were all keeping this a secret for now.

Lorenzo cocked his brow at me, like he knew I wasn’t being honest with him. Rolling my eyes at the oldest Leclerc I took my place at the table instantly loading my plate with pancakes, bacon and maple syrup, my mouth instantly watering.

“Like she’d ever be able to get into F1.” Becky scoffed, not even trying to keep her voice down. “I know you boys want females to get into the sport but she aint it.”

Once again I felt my blood boil, my grasp on my knife tightened, who did this bitch think she is? There was no way I was holding back now, not now she had come for my career.

“Come back to me when you have fucking won the W-series world driver championship, twice.” I spat, slamming my cutlery down on the table causing Arthur to jump slightly at the contact. “Oh that’s right you are nothing but a grid girl, using your body to get through life and to steal people's boyfriends.” I didn’t care anymore. I wasn't going to sit here in a place I classed as another home, a place I had so many memories only to be torn to pieces by some slag.

Kicking my chair back I stood to my feet, grabbing my stroopwafels and coffee. I needed to get out of the room before I showed this bitch who Valentina Hendrix actually was.

“Bambino, what about breakfast?” Dad asked, causing me to glance over my shoulder as I reached the back door.

“Ho perso l'appetito. I have lost my appetite.”

It didn’t take long before I was joined outside by Lorenzo. He silently pulled me into a bear hug and I could feel my resolve starting to crumble.

“Lor, I don’t know what to do.” I whispered, scared if I spoke any louder then I would break down. “It’s been four fucking years, yet right now if feels like everything happened yesterday.”

“Petit ours, tu n'as pas vu Charles depuis que tout est arrivé. C'est tout à fait normal de se sentir comme ça. Little bear, you haven't seen Charles since everything happened. It's perfectly normal to feel this way.” He hummed, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. “I know it’s easier said than done but you gotta ignore them and focus on the time you have with us instead.”

“She is practically rubbing it in my face.” I sighed, pulling away from the hug, reaching for my mug of coffee.

“I know, we can all see what she is doing, well apart from Charles but he can be stupid at times.” Lorenzo said with a slight chuckle in his voice. “I know exactly what you need.” He smiled, shoving his hand into his hoodie pocket, slowly pulling out a set of car keys.

My eyes went wide the moment I saw them, I knew exactly what car they belonged to just from the keyring that was hanging between his fingers.

“You still have my ST?” I asked, slightly shocked that this car was still here.

“Of course.” He smirked.

“I thought Charles would have sent it to be scrapped by now.” I mumbled, taking the keys from him. I hadn’t seen this car in four years. It was the car I used in Monaco but when everything happened Pascale let me keep it locked up in her garage.

“Maman fell in love with the car, so we may have acted fraudulently, got her added into the insurance along with changing the bank details for the payments so she could drive it.” He laughed, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. “She refused to let anyone else drive it, kept up with maintenance and even kept your modifications saying that it was her way of still feeling close to you.”

Tears burned my eyes, and in this moment my heart was full. A lot had happened in the last four years but one thing that hadn’t changed was the love that Arthur, Lorenzo and Pascale still had for me. No matter what life threw at me I would always be family.

“How the hell did you manage that?” I questioned, raising my brow at him. “None of you sound anything like me.”

“Somehow Arthur can do a brilliant impression of you, it’s actually scary come to think of it.” Lorenzo laughed softly before pausing for a second. “Now I think we could all do with a morning at the track.” He smiled, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. “Somewhere that you can release some of this anger legally, the last thing we need is you getting arrested again.”

Summer 2012

I should have thought this through, but once again I flew by the seat of my pants, throw in a little peer pressure and you could get me to do anything. Which was the reason why I was currently sitting in a police cell, surrounded by nothing but metal and coldness. I knew the friends I had weren’t the best but as a fifteen year old I didn’t care. Just like in the moment I didn’t care that we were committing GTA and assault whilst intoxicated.

Once again Charles was right, the people I was hanging around with suddenly would land me in shit.

Running my hands over my face I realise how badly I had fucked up. My knuckles were starting to sting from the cuts across the skin, dropping my hands I ran my eyes over the state of them. They were already starting to bruise from what I could see from the dried blood that covered my skin. My parents were going to kill me and from my moment of stupidity I was going to have a criminal record for the rest of my life so I might as well kiss my dreams goodbye because who in their right mind would want a driver that has a record.

“Princess,” a familiar voice echoed around the room. “What’s going on?”

The moment I saw Jules standing on the other side of the metal bars I broke down sobbing, hiding my head in my hands as embarrassment and regret took over.

“Uncle J, I am so fucking sorry.” I said between sobs, refusing to look up at him. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”

A heavy sigh escaped his lips as he started to speak again but this time it was too low for me to hear. The next thing I knew the cell door had been opened and Jules was crouched in front of me, resting his hands on my knees.

“Everything is going to be okay, little one.” he whispered, wrapping his arms around me as I sobbed into his hoodie.

“I’m going to have a criminal record” I sobbed, clutching onto the material.

“Not if I have anything to do with it.” he whispered, pressing a kiss against the top of my head. “Now let's get you out of here and get a large black coffee into you, we can’t have you going home in this state.”

Present Day

The moment I was back behind the wheel of my old car nothing could wipe the grin off my face, it was clear that Pascale was a little speed demon at heart considering the fact that the ST was a lot quicker than the last time I drove it four years ago.

“Buckle up.” I giggled, smirking at Pascale before dropping my hand to the handbrake once I had pulled into the track car park. Once I had done a quick check that there was nothing around I yanked the handbrake up, causing the car to spin before quickly and smoothly started doing donuts on the dirt causing dust to smother the car.

After I had a bit of fun in the ST I parked the car before quickly clambering out the red little beast. Leaning against the front wing of the car everyone was cheering and whistling apart from Becky who was scowling.

“Some things never change.” Dad grinned, pulling me into his side, pressing a kiss against the top of my head. “Should have known you would be trouble the moment Jules taught you how to drive.”

“Such a child.” Becky scoffed, folding her arms across her chest.

Pulling away from Dad I slowly walked over to her, squaring up with the dumb bitch. Anger was soaring through my veins as I stretched my fingers out by my side before balling them into a tight fist. Everyone had taken a few steps backwards now, including Charles. They knew what was going to happen and all knew better than to try and intervene.

“I have had enough of you.” I growled, narrowing my eyes at Becky. “Even before you stole my boyfriend you always pissed me off, thinking you were god's gift to the drivers on the track. But news flash darling you are nothing but a dirty little slag.”

“I can end your career you stupid bitch.” she laughed loudly, which just irritated me more. “You may have two championships but we both know I am the real winner here. I am the one hanging from Charles’ arm not you so I would suggest you would back the fuck off.”

I couldn’t hold back any longer, I had wanted this moment for a while now so I was going to enjoy this. Becky didn’t know what came for her as my fist collided with her face with so much force I could hear her nose crack, the sound alone caused a huge grin to form on my face.

“Valentina,” Charles exclaimed, causing me to roll my eyes. “What the fuck?” he muttered as he rushed over to his girlfriend’s side.

“I should have done that fucking years ago.” I smirked.

“Tu as changé. You have changed.” he said, raising his voice.

“Pas grâce à toi, connard. No thanks to you, asshole.” I spat, glaring at the person that my heart called out for all of the time. “Tu sais quoi, j'emmerde cette merde. You know what, fuck this shit”

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