#not to mention im looking for flatmate and it sure is AN EXPERIENCE | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

toaliwithlove · 3 years

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tiny ways to keep your long-distance friendship strong as ever 👩🏼‍🤝‍👨🏻🍀

1. keep the weather forecast for your friend's town or city saved in your phone. the argument that talking about the weather is lazy or boring is to ignore the fact that the weather is something we all deal with literally every single day. weather influences our outfit decisions, weekend plans, and daily commute — it's a big deal. so when its snowing in london and im melting during a sydney heat wave, we share stuff about our days. watching the forecast of my friend's hometowns offers a tiny daily insight into the lives of my favorite people, and I highly recommend it.

2. take a step back in time and send cards and letters in the mail for holidays and birthdays, or just because you want to. it catches your friends by surprise and im sure they'd love it. i know you would smile if you received an unexpected letter.

3. share photos and pictures of your day and events that happen. when you live apart, it's harder to get those little life updates that are so easily shared over coffee or dinner. sharing photos and videos is almost too easy these days, so it's just a matter of getting into the habit of regularly forcing updates onto their screens to stay close as ever. something as simple as snapchatting each other pics of your breakfast and outfits every single day can actually be a surprisingly amazing way to connect regularly.

4. make an extra special effort to remember the names of new people in your friend's lives — literally take notes if you have to. don't be that person who replies "sorry, dan who?" when your friend brings up their new flatmate or project partner they've mentioned three times before. making the effort to remember names and details of the people your mates mention means they'll feel more comfortable talking about them and keeping you up to date with what's actually going on in their day-to-day lives.

5. sometimes, you're going to have to make twice the effort you might have when you lived closer. even the best of friends can drift apart. when you're no longer nearby there's no running into each other, or new restaurants to try together. just as couples in long-distance relationships work hard to maintain closeness and show their affection, friends need to do the same. it can be done but you both need to work for the friendship that's worth it.

6. keep in touch through voice memos at times rather than text messages. they're so much easier, quicker, and more personal than a text message, and you find yourself chatting about little things you definitely would have left out of a typed message. there's also just something so lovely about hearing a friend's voice, especially on days you're missing them a ton.

7. make an effort to learn little things about the place they live, if you aren't familiar with it.

8. don't stop making plans, even if they won't actually happen for a really long time. even though you might not see your bestie for a while its always nice to talk about plans. it gives you something to look forward to and brings hope.

9. send them links to things that remind you of them, like funny tweets or articles. “this reminded me of you.” or “thought you might enjoy this.” it doesn’t matter if you're sending them a meme or a little gift; that moment of feeling truly seen by a friend is so affirming.

10. if they live in a different time zone, set your friends time of their country in your phone, so you always know if it's a good time to text or call. its nice having little bits of knowledge on what time of the day your friend is experiencing. are they sleeping well? are they out having a nice time? are they having their morning lecture?

11. get to know their daily/weekly routines so you can tell when things seem off, or when you realize you haven’t seen or heard from them in a while.

12. remember to ask how their day was, and actually listen to the answer. its always important to have an end of day catch up. you guys aren't living in the same place so this is how you get to experience the day “with” them.

13. reply to their stories. comment on their posts. post of them. interacting with them on social media and letting them know ur engaging and caring about what they share means a lot.

14. really see them. pay attention to physical cues that they might not be doing great — like looking super tired/not sleeping, poor hygiene, or weight fluctuations. let them know you care. set reminders for yourself to check in with them periodically. those follow-ups mean a lot, and even if they don’t need any support the first four times you ask, they’ll know exactly who to call the day that they do.

15. celebrate their wins like they're your wins.

16. be generous in telling them how you feel about them. “i really miss you.” “i’m worried about you.” “i appreciate you.” “your friendship means so much to me.” “i love you.” and be specific with your compliments. They deserve to know exactly why they’re important to the world.

#self care

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