#not to mention the last time i lived here i wasnt gay

[fishshapedbun]

about Romantic Killer (BIG SPOILERS)

ok i just finished watching Romantic Killer and it's so good wtf????????? the plot developed so much better than i was expecting at first?????? Anzu is such a good character and such a good friend????? so i need to ramble about it bare with me for a moment

the show is hilarious and i love how exaggerated the funny expressions are, but it also has some rly serious part damn im legit impressed (Anzu and Kazuki's first hug kinda got me tearing up ngl)

each of the characters is slowly developed so well. like damn. Kazuki's story is specially detailed and it caught me by surprise when they showed the flashbacks of the first episodes after we found out why he became so distant and conscious of people and everything made so much sense. and he felt so realistic in the way he reacted, his struggle to open up and every single time he started feeling anxious and panicking in public was so well done (and i wanted to take him away from the crowd and pat his head every time ugh T_T). i was just slightly dissapointed that right on the last episode he admited that he started crushing on Anzu bc after the entire season of them just being an amazing duo of friends i was so hopeful we would finally get a 'love interest' turned only best friend (bc lets admit its not like she doesnt already have enough ppl interested in her without Kazuki being one of them too). bc i was enjoying headcanoning him as aroace as i was watching :') oh well. maybe if it ends up not having a s2 i can pretend he realized he wasnt in love and he just loves her platonically a lot! if they dont give me the aroace boy i will rip it from their cold dead hands! :D

and i loved the plot twist on how Junta was actually her true childhood friend all along and she took so long to realize... his feelings were totally real awwwww and he is really a sweetheart, i like the childhood friend trope! buuuut i gotta admit im just living for the huge crush Makoto clearly has on Junta. boyo isn't hiding it very well. that scene when Makoto holds Saki's hand and takes her away from the triggering situation? that was gay x lesbian solidarity right there !

and Saki OH MY GOD SAKI. the episode focused on showing how the two of them became friends and how important Anzu is to her and the way she has always defended her and what Saki went through oh god... her story was so realistic and seeing her reaction seeing that stupid ass ex was such a realistic depiction of a kind of trauma like that. she's such a good character im so happy they developed her so well and didnt make her just an irrelevant school friend character!!! (also she's a lesbian i am not taking criticism- /hj)

i need to mention how Anzu is absolutely bisexual btw. her reaction to meeting Kazuki's sister? she literally straight up said "i'll fall for her" c'mon

and Riri!!! omg!!!! little genderfluid chaos gremlin!!!!!!!! i was so so happy that not only Anzu girbossed her way to getting them out of their punishment but she got them to permanently live on the human world AND officially made them one of the love interests??? ULTIMATE GIRLBOSS MOVE Anzu i love you so much dear. so ngl i lowkey would like seeing Anzu end up with Riri/Rio the most ksjefhskdjf badass girl x genderfluid gremlin??? so much potential cmon they literally were punished for breaking magic rules bc they care too much about Anzu that's so fucking cute skjfhsdf

and Hijiri!!!!! from a little annoying rich bastard to a little just slightly annoying tsundere rich baby!!! i really like that he's interested in her and all but ultimately he's just there working and helping her out a lot like he becomes genuinely a great friend??

so yeah. as one can tell from the immense number of written words here i have liked this anime quite a lot. binged it in a day, all at once, no regrets. i'll be happy if there's a 2nd season if it is as good as this 1st one, bc this was amazing! so glad i decided to give it a chance <3 there's even more things i could talk about here but i dont wanna write a novel chapter of a post so i'll stop here LMAO

but really, if you're into comedy, romance and some nice character development, you won't regret giving Romantic Killer a chance :)

#romantic killer #anime analysis #anime commentary #romantic killer spoilers #romki #kiri doing the talk thing #hoshino anzu #tsukasa kazuki #hayami junta #takamine saki #koganei hijiri #yeah you could say i liked it a bit #just slightly obsessed

[pussystigmata]

ok so spoilers alert but i dont even have the energy to be angry abt the riverdale finale it was literally just betty and jughead speaking directly to the audience. saying oh archie gets married and has kids and then dies at 82 and veronica moved to hollywood and won an oscar and then died and blah blah blah. like it wasnt a closure to the show or the characters or the events it was just a twitter post of headcanons of what the characters would do before they all died peacefully in their sleep. NOTHING from the first 6 seasons had ANY meaning. they find out theyre from the future at the very end of the show and it impacts NOTHING in the plot or their development because after the reveal its just the info dump. even the quad scene was just oh u four dated each other (not archie and jughead tho the show that made LITERALLY EVERY character gay/bi didnt have these two together so the quad wasnt even a quad) in the past we never see it didnt impact the show and they broke up on the last day of school. and THEN betty just dies as an old lady and her heaven is sitting in the diner with her friends for eternity. so the whole point of this episode is that they instantly split up when the show finished and had their own lives completely seperste from anything that happened in the show. and then they all just return to the diner for eternity. so their whole life had no growth or meaning theyre just stuck in a timeloop of the show and this whole episode was double meaningless. not to mention that its not even meaningful for betty to be with all her friends here because we've seen the sweet hereafter before and everyone has their own so this is just bettys her friends arent really there shes just going to be in a timeloop with empty delusion made clones of her friends for eternity. its like the writers either ran out of money or care at all abt the plot of the show they just dumped the kids in 1955 and so nothing ever mattered. we didnt get to see tabithas time travel adventures or get to return to their lives it just like those versions of them are dead and never existed. and the other tabitha in 1955 never gets angel tabithas memories or becomes part of their friend group which implies to me that shes not really tabitha and angel tabitha created a sentient clone of herself who may or may not have a soul. so tabitha is god but couldnt return them to their story and why. cos these writers are hacks is why. i can not BELIEVE this is what they did. like genuinely and wholeheartedly couldnt have made a worse ending to a show and this has to be one of the worst finales in tv history.

#i said i dont have energy then wrote a brick of text #yeah ok #i could keep going but i shant

[mbat]

do not get bored in the sims it leads to weird things

i made two of my OCs (two gay guys) and things were going nicely and cutely for them but boringly for me, and i forgot to pay their bills for a minute so the power went out, and i saw on the power thing that it mentioned the landgraabs and i was like. man fuck those rich people. im gonna go kill them. again, bored out of my mind

so i switch to their family and i build a pool with walls, ol reliable, issue is... for some reason the mother was pregnant, and i didnt realize till i was already doing it and i wasnt going back at this point, the father and son die, and im left for half an hour trying to figure out how to force her to give birth so she can die cause pregnant sims are immortal, and i finally figure it

and im gonna be real with you i was just gonna shift click the baby and press destroy object BUT THEN IT PROMPTS ME TO NAME IT (ive never had a baby in the sims before it never interested me) and i was like. oh i cant destroy this baby i love it now actually

anyway i named it after one of the gay guys from earlier cause i was gonna make them adopt it right, but heres the thing

when death came for the father and son, i added him to the family just to see if i could, and so he stuck around after he did his business and was just chilling, and so when it came time for me to seperate the baby and the mother so the baby could be taken care of, he was there and i was like hey. take care of this while i kill the mom please

and so she dies, and then theres a second death and i go oh this is an opportunity and i add him to the family and so now its two deaths and a baby

thing is this child looks like a landgraab, is named after some guy who doesnt even know any of this happened, and is being raised by two versions of death (one named grim reaper one named death [insert lazy last name just to fill the slot]) and for like 2 in game days they were all just living in the landgraab mansion of whom no landgraabs remained until i moved them into a smaller and less weird house

anyway i made the weirdest sitcom situation i guess. this is not at all how i play the sims ever lol

i should probably introduce that one sim to the child he didnt know he now kinda has...

#sims 4 #my post #i changed the baby. now a toddler btw. to look more like the guy hes named after. btw the baby is a boy i guess #cause like. the character hes named after looks nothing like the landgraabs #'hey guy heres this child you physically couldnt have made but its yours btw its blonde and white' #btw if it wasnt clear ive been awake for 20 hours #this was weirdly sadistic of me but also its the sims its not real and its also blatantly cartoonish #its not like theyre gone forever anyway theyre ghosts now probably idk #eh itll be fine #all im saying is that it would make for a fun sitcom idea

[spricket-central]

heya! i suppose i better start out with a sort of intro/background post.

my apartment gets a lot of greenhouse camel crickets in it. its far from an infestation, but theyve been common visitors for years. i grew pretty fond of the little guys, and maybe a couple months ago i began toying with the idea of catching a few of them to keep as pets.

this happened suddenly on december 6th 2022 when i found crouton, my first and youngest spricket (short for "spider cricket," another name for camel crickets). i wasnt prepared with supplies yet, so i had to keep him in a badly mangled plastic tupperware for the night until i could go shopping the next day.

here's a picture of him investigating his new home!

crouton is VERY shy compared to my other sprickets, so its hard to get pictures of him. this is still one of the clearest pictures of him i have.

heres one more of crouton, demonstrating his small size.

if youve ever seen a greenhouse camel cricket before, you probably know just how big these guys get. crouton is about 1/4 - 1/3 of the size of an adult. as of writing he still hasnt molted yet while in my care, but im excited to watch him grow!

on december 11th, i was unexpectedly graced by the presence of two more sprickets, biscuit (male) and cookie (female).

heres a picture of them together in Gay Baby Jail (the small enclosure i put my sprickets in while i clean their tanks).

you can tell the two apart by the presence of an "ovipositor" on cookies rear. it looks like a big "stick." some mistake it for a stinger, as greenhouse camel crickets have a very large, slightly curved ovipositor, but its a harmless organ they use to deposit their eggs into the soil.

both were adults, and i was nervous about keeping the two with crouton because of his size, so i went out and bought a second tank for crouton to live in. hes been doing well!

biscuit and cookie ended up mating, and cookie laid a LOT of eggs.

i have no plans to start a colony, so i froze the eggs and the soil they were in for 48 hours before discarding them. i ended up regretting this decision though; cookie ended up dying only a day or two later (december 27th), presumably from age combined with the enormous effort needed to lay this many eggs in about 24 hours. i wish i had kept a few to hatch, but alas, the eggs were already dead.

i was hoping to find another female tankmate for crouton, and last night (december 30th) my wish came true.

enter, peanut!

i believe shes an adult, but if shes not shes likely close to it, as shes only the tiiiiiniest bit smaller than biscuit.

shes missing one of her jumping legs, so im extra happy to have been given the chance to take her in. i think biscuit likes her, ahaha. i cant be sure, but i believe ive observed him attempting to court her a couple of times? he would turn his back to her and start wiggling his butt rapidly while doing what looked like a little jig with his jumping legs.

peanut was not having it, and just walked away. damn girl thats cold 🤘😔

id be remiss to not take a moment to talk about biscuit on his own for a little, because he is QUITE the character, ahaha. hes so animated. ive loved bugs all my life, but i never anticipated one could have such a big personality!

...this is the 2nd time hes managed to do this.

i think thats about everything i can think of for now? i have adhd, so theres a good chance im forgetting several things i wanted to mention, but my attention span cant last any longer, so I'll end this post for now.

im looking forward to spending more time with these guys and learning more about them, and im excited to see what 2023 will bring!

#insects #crickets #camel cricket #pet bugs #crouton #biscuit #cookie #peanut #spricket #rhaphidophoridae #intro #pics #reproduction

[maaaxx]

first day back for my spring semester and heres a summary because i feel like it < 3

I was ten minutes late to my class. Luckily this professor is really wonderful and one of the best teacher/professor things ive ever met and was just like "oh *max* i'm so glad your here : )"

I sat down and my fucking backpack wouldn't work so i couldnt get my stuff out of it without being extremely loud

While Im in the process of banging my backpack on my desk tearing it at the seams etc my wonderful prof decided this would be the perfect time to ask me to introduce myself

My prof proceeds to tell us a story about how she or someone she worked with (i cant remember which one it was) had a client that got their dick stuck in a ceiling fan.

How does one get their dick stuck in a cieling fan? Idk. She didnt either

This class was like three hours long and so naturally I was half asleep the entire time

She decides to call on me while im half asleep

It scared the shit out of me

We took a break halfway through the class and i got hot chocolate and popcorn and it was really nice but im weird about eating/drinking in front of people so after i had to go back to class i was just clutching these two items awkwardly until we left.

At the end of the class we circled back to the 'what are you passionate about' question and this girl in my class goes on about how she was late diagnosed with autism and how she really wants to work on making those resources more available to afab people and how she wants to advocate for more research and better education on how different disorders effect men vs women and how to spot it in women because if you didnt know its a whole thing in the asd community about girls being severely underdiagnosed and its a really big problem and yeah the more you know

The entire time shes going on about this im like staring at her like 🙂. Like look here girly ME TOO I LIVED THIUS SHIT TOO

And so after class I found her and she asked for my phone number and everything and it was so wonderful and i think i made my first friends since physically being at college

I think I've mentioned this other dude on here before but pretty much this guy I met when I was like 8 or 9 and we were really good friends throughout elementary school but kind of grew apart in middle school and he went to an alternative school in highschool and hes always been so kind and i missed him a lot and here he goes to my school and so ive been reunited with him

Like I said this dude knew me since I was like 8 and it was always such a weird relationship because we knew eachother so well and he was the first person ive ever felt like wasnt constantly judging me and that i could just like relax around if that makes sense and i've always really cherished our friendship and im really happy im friends with him again

turns out hes fucking autistic too

within the last year ive found out that out of the four close friends ive had in my life three are austic

and the fourth is a girl diagnosed with bipolar/ocd/mdd/gad so you know how that goes.

So i thought thats funny

but i was talking to my friend and he accused me of having a fucking HICKEY

Like I said this dude knows me really well

he knows i have no bitches

like BRO

i have hives on my neck right now idk what theyre from im taking meds

Idk why i numbered this these numbers are for nothing but dramatic affect

He's queer in some way and he came out to me by asking me 'hey *max* when we were kids did you ever think i was gay 🤔

And i was like yeah *f* i did.

But then he was telling me about this blow job one of his boyfriends gave him one time and it was so weird because this was the same kid that i dated when i was like 10 and that used to spend the entire recess time telling me about rocks and fossils and that i used to play tag with and shit

I couldnt invision this man getting a blow job

F if you somehow found me on tumblr and your reading this like 'hey wait a minute' no your not. its a different person i swear its just a coincidence. < 3

#i used the cut because like blowjobs and hickeys and stuff #im still not completely up to date on tumblr etiquette and yeah #nothing THAT interesting happened today but i still just wanted to type it all out because tumblrs my diary #max thinks shes relevant

[somedaytakethetime]

Hii! 🙂 I was going to say happy wednesday but actually hate when people do that for random weekdays so I'm just saying goodmorning, I think thats right, and hope you have a good day. 💕 Great I just realized it probably sounded like I dont like dogs but I do, at least some of them but its true that cats are more chill and take care of themselves like you dont have to take them for endless walks or bathe them. So I like dogs but only when they belong to other people. :D

Okay needless to say I nearly died on sunday, why are Milan's first halves always so stressful?? But then sexy Theo finally put an end to that with that spectacular goal. So cool! And then everyone brought there kids. 😍 Simons boys are soo cute one of them looks like an exact copy of him!

Obviously I'm happy if they win the championship and feels like I'm crushing on almost every single one of there players but I was also extra happy about the support for this young british goal keeper who came out as gay and the lgbtqia+ community in general. It took me ages to check but I wanted to know and no other Serie A club even acknowledged it or showed any sign of support so I'm super proud and happy! And I may have gotten into them for the weirdest most random silly reason first but somehow was lucky and it was the best choice ever. ❤🖤 Thankyou so much for helping me pick and always being so encouraging and explaining stuff and not thinking its stupid. And for not supporting Inter ofcourse because I could of ended up with them instead. 😅 The only thing thats frustrating is how intolerant and homophobic some of the international fans are and it also made my blood boil how rude they are about my sweet curly deputy captain Davide for being extra supportive and I wanted to fight every single one of those ass holes but its a lost cause so I just hope all these f***ers have a miserable life.

Anyways I'm going to sleep now hoping to dream of the whole team getting it on with each other and if Freud would explain that with mommy daddy whatever sex issues hes welcome and most likely right. At least he wasnt a big homophobe! 😅

~S.A.

SCREAMING xDD It didn't sound like you didn't like dogs, don't worry. I prefer cats too and I would actually give my own kidneys to my dogs if they needed them.. and if that worked 😂

THE CHILDREN!!! I CAN'T WITH ALL THE BABIES!!! Simon's sons are literally the blondes children on earth, bless them, and a fun fact about the one that looks exactly like him: there's this video of Kasper Hjulmand, the Danish NT coach, guessing the players just by their baby pictures and when he gets Simon's photo he mentions he knew it was Simon right away because his son is an exact copy of him. And yes I was melting when that happened it was so sweet. Milan is always stressful as shit but at least they brought children! :DD

I have to confess: I haven't actually watched any of their matches live lately because I'm actually afraid of cursing them 😶 I watch the highlights after it's over because I'm a bad penny.... I watched the Eurovision for the FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE this year and the UK nearly won.... I'm a curse to everything I watch.... So I *might* watch their last match live... but... (and I know I say it's irrational to have these superstitions I know but... I never said I was rational I just said that you guys should take my advice, no that I take it myself..😂) I'm so happy they're showing him support, it always warms my heart to see players and clubs do that. The football world can be absolutely disgusting on certain matters so I actually feel proud and happy when people show their support. I wish the fans could do the same.... mfs.... 😒 I'm always here to help with what I know. I a) like feeling like a smartass and b) like spreading the knowledge I have. And I guess the feeling like a smartass works perfectly well with the spreading knowledge... 😅 Don't worry I wouldn't support Inter, my mutuals would collectively kick my ass so we're safe from Inter on this one xD

CRYING! I hope you did get some of those dreams! Come share if you did 👁️👁️

#you're actually right for all his problems at least Freud wasn't homophobic... #everything was down to wanting to either fuck your mother or fuck your father so at least he was accepting of oddities and openness... xDDD #my Sandro anonie <3

[soldier-poet-king]

The catholic young adult scene in Toronto isnt THAT big and idk how I'm gonna meet people these next few years without running into old ex friends and bridges I burned while trying to cope with trauma and paranoia and maybe being horribly lonely will be my punishment

#its just. #yeah #i deserve this perhaps #but i am so lonely #i never planned on coming back here #and now what #not to mention the last time i lived here i wasnt gay #so there's that fear too

[kimmkitsuragi]

hhh man i love being gay but i hate being closeted

#so we have presentations on subcultures for english classe #someone picked lgbt subculture at first i was like oh shit here we go #bc last time someone chose a topic about being gay it had a painfully obvious straight point of view #but this time this girl was i think in the community i just feel iy #((not to mention she talked about jenifers body on the last presentation like lmao gay)) #and ah she seemed nervous yk. i get that feeling of talking about lgbt community in a homophobic setting #i usually get nervous too bc most of the time people are homophobes #so during the beginning she talked for a while and asked if anyone knew the meaning of lgbtqia letters #and usually i dont like talking but i answered (to my suprised my voice didnt even shake) #and she looked so happy that at least someone wasnt aftaid/nervous/uncomfortable about this topic #and its such a nice feeling of solidarity imo it made me really happy but i was like #lmao i didnt even get nervous talking about it maybe i can come out soon #but it still makes me so nervous especially after hearing some comments on her presentation #one dude literally said if people dont want to conform to societys view of gender they can live outside of society like #hello???? sir this is a McDonalds drive thru????? #i was rolling my eyes so hard and made a very dramatic sigh lol #at least the teacher was like dude thats fascistic lmao #ah im so sick of being in the closet it felt so nice to talk about it without getting nervous or afraid for once #even if it was like a minute for me to answer it but it was big for me #ah im just rambling lol sorry and thank ju if someone reads it #rants

[shkspr]

hi. on your post where you may or may not have ended on 'moffat is either your angel or your devil' did you have maybe an elaboration on that somewhere that i could possibly hear about. i'm very much a capaldi era stan and i've never tried to defend the matt smith era even though it had delightful moments sometimes so i wonder where that puts me. i'd love to hear your perspective on moffat as a person with your political perspective. -nicole

hi ok sorry i took so long to respond to this but i dont think you know how LOADED this question is for me but i am so happy to elaborate on that for you. first a few grains of salt to flavor your understanding of the whole situation: a. im unfairly biased against moffat bc im a davies stan and a tennant stan; b. i still very much enjoy and appreciate moffat era who for many reasons; and c. i hate moffat on a personal level far more than i could ever hate his work.

the thing is that its all always gonna be a bit mixed up bc i have to say a bunch of seemingly contradictory things in a row. for instance, a few moffat episodes are some of my absolute favorites of the rtd era, AND the show went way downhill when moffat took over, AND the really good episodes he wrote during the rtd era contained the seeds of his destruction.

like i made that post about the empty child/the doctor dances and it holds true for blink and thats about it bc the girl in the fireplace and silence in the library/forest of the dead are good but not nearly on the same level, and despite the fact that i like them at least nominally, they are also great examples of everything i hate about moffat and how he approached dw as a whole.

basically. doctor who is about people. there are many things about moffats tenure as showrunner that i think are a step up from rtd era who! actual gay people, for one! but i think that can likely be attributed mostly to an evolving Society as opposed to something inherent to him and his work, seeing as rtd is literally gay, and the existence of queer characters in moffats work doesnt mean the existence of good queer characters (ill give him bill but thats it!)

i have a few Primary Grievances with moffat and how he ran dw. all of them are things that got better with capaldi, but didnt go away. they are as follows:

moffat projects his own god complex onto the doctor

rtd era who had a doctor with a god complex. you cant ever be the doctor and not have a god complex. the problem with moffats era specifically is that the god complex was constant and unrepentant and was seen as a fundamental personality trait of the doctor rather than a demon he has to fight. he has the Momence where you feel bad for him, the Momence where he shows his humility or whatever and youre reminded that he doesnt want to be the lonely god, but those are just. moments. in a story where the doctor thinks hes the main character. rtd era doctor was aware that he wasnt the main character. he had to be an authority sometimes and he had to be the loner and he had to be sad about it, but he ultimately understood that he was expendable in a narrative sense.

this is how you get lines like “were the thin fat gay married anglican marines, why would we need names as well?” from the same show that gave you the gut punch moment at the end of midnight when they realize that nobody asked the hostess for her name. and on the one hand, thats a small sticking point, but on the other hand, its just one small example of the simple disregard that moffat has for humanity.

incidentally, this is a huge part of why sherlock sucked so bad: moffats main characters are special bc theyre so much bigger and better than all the normal people, and thats his downfall as a showrunner. he thinks that his audience wants fucking sheldon cooper when what they want is people.

like, ok. think of how many fantastic rtd era eps are based in the scenario “what if the doctor wasnt there? what if he was just out of commission for a bit?” and how those eps are the heart of the show!! bc theyre about people being people!! the thing is that all of the rtd era companions would have died for the doctor but he understood and the story understood that it wasnt about him.

this is like. nine sending rose home to save her life and sacrifice his own vs clara literally metaphysically entwining her existence w the doctor. ten also sending rose with her family to save her life vs river being raised from infancy to be obsessed w the doctor and then falling in love w him. martha leaving bc she values herself enough to make that decision vs amy being treated like a piece of meat.

and this is simultaneously a great callback to when i said that moffats episodes during the rtd era sometimes had the same problems as his show running (bc girl in the fireplace reeks of this), and a great segue into the next grievance.

moffat hates women

he hates women so fucking much. g-d, does steven moffat ever hate women. holy shit, he hates women. especially normal human women who prioritize their normal human lives on an equal or higher level than the doctor. moffat hated rose bc she wasnt special by his standards. the empty child/the doctor dances is the nicest he ever treated her, and she really didnt do much in those eps beyond a fuck ton of flirting.

girl in the fireplace is another shining example of this. youve got rose (who once again has another man to keep her busy, bc moffat doesnt think shes good enough for the doctor) sidelined for no reason only to be saved by the doctor at the last second or whatever. and then youve got reinette, who is pretty and powerful and special!

its just. moffat thinks that the doctor is as shallow and selfish as he is. thats why he thinks the doctor would stay in one place with reinette and not with rose. bc moffat is shallow and sees himself in the doctor and doesnt think he should have to settle for someone boring and normal.

not to mention rose met the doctor as an adult and chose to stay with him whereas reinette is. hm. introduced to the doctor as a child and grows up obsessed with him.

does that sound familiar? it should! bc it is also true of amy and river. and all of them are treated as viable romantic pairings. bc the only women who deserve the doctor are the ones whose entire existence revolves around him. which includes clara as well.

genuinely i think that at least on some level, not even necessarily consciously, that bill was a lesbian in part bc capaldi was too old to appeal to mainstream shippers. like twelve/clara is still a thing but not as universally appealing as eleven/clara but i am just spitballing. but i think they weighed the pros and cons of appealing to the woke crowd over the het shippers and found that gay companion was more profitable. anyway the point is to segue into the next point, which is that moffat hates permanent consequences.

moffat hates permanent consequences

steven moffat does not know how to kill a character. honestly it feels like hes doing it on purpose after a certain point, like he knows he has this habit and hes trying to riff on it to meme his own shit, but it doesnt work. it isnt funny and it isnt harmless, its bad writing.

the end of the doctor dances is so poignant and so meaningful and so fucking good bc its just this once! everybody lives, just this once! and then he does p much the same thing in forest of the dead - this one i could forgive, bc i do think that preserving those peoples consciousnesses did something for the doctor as a character, it wasnt completely meaningless. but everything after that kinda was.

rory died so many times its like. get a hobby lol. amy died at least once iirc but it was all a dream or something. clara died and was erased from the doctors memory. river was in prison and also died. bill? died. all of them sugarcoated or undone or ignored by the narrative to the point of having effectively no impact on the story. the point of a major character death is that its supposed to have a point. and you could argue that a piece of art could be making a point with a pointless death, ie. to put perspective on it and remind you that bad shit just happens, but with moffat the underlying message is always “i can do whatever i want, nothing is permanent or has lasting impact ever.”

basically, with moffat, tragedy exists to be undone. and this was a really brilliant, really wonderful thing in the doctor dances specifically bc it was the doctor clearly having seen his fair share of tragedy that couldnt be helped, now looking on his One Win with pride and delight bc he doesnt get wins like this! and then moffat proceeded to give him the same win over and over and over and over. nobody is ever dead. nobody is ever unable to be saved. and if they are, really truly dead and/or gone, then thats okay bc moffat has decided that [insert mitigating factor here]*

*the mitigating factor is usually some sort of computerized database of souls.

i can hear the moffat stans falling over themselves to remind me that amy and rory definitely died, and they did - after a long and happy life together, they died of old age. i dont consider that a character death any more than any other character choosing to permanently leave the tardis.

and its not just character deaths either, its like, everything. the destruction of gallifrey? never mind lol! character development? scrapped! the same episode four times? lets give it a fifth try and hope nobody notices. bc he doesnt know how to not make the doctor either an omnipotent savior or a self-pitying failure.

it is in nature of doctor who, i believe, for the doctor to win most of the time. like, it wouldnt be a very good show if he didnt win most of the time. but it also wouldnt be a very good show if he won all of the time. my point is that moffats doctor wins too often, and when he doesnt win, it feels empty and hollow rather than genuinely humbling, and you know hes not gonna grow from it pretty much at all.

so like. again, i like all of doctor who i enjoy all of it very much. i just think that steven moffat is a bad show runner and a decent writer at times. and it is frustrating. and im not here to convince or convert anyone im just living my truth. thank you for listening.

#sorry if this is repetitive or makes no sense or if i got some details of the show wrong #i simply couldnt be bothered to put too much effort into this post #lest it become a research paper and take me several weeks to answer #anyway thats all my opinions #dw #ok to rb

[soup-du-silence]

If you are comfortable with it, I'd love to hear your critiques of the finale, ESPECIALLY with how they handled Webby and Lena's final interactions with each other. I'm seeing you talk about it a bit on twitter, and I'm vigorously nodding my head to much of what you and others are criticizing the finale for. Obviously, if you'd rather just ignore this whole fiasco, I completely understand, and I look forward to the stories you continue to make about Webby and Lena!

god. okay.

ducktales spoilers below

SPECIFICALLY the weird webby and lena moments -- Lena calling team magic sisters and Webby snapping at Lena for her strong reaction to getting her string on the board cut -- mean absolutely nothing to me. i simply reject them. i dont know where they came from. Lena and Webby havent called each other sisters since their first episode together. It feels...unlike Webby to snub a Lena apology like that.  

And then they didnt really....interact again much, after that, right? unless im forgetting. there was a lot to be mad about.

and I guess, like. Here’s the thing. aside from some really powerful moments in season 2, the romantic subtext surrounding webby and lena was EXTREMELY dialed back. we had Lena’s hyper-powered jealous freak out in friendship hates magic and...what Ive always counted as an indirect kiss in nightmare on killmotor hill, but there were no more leslie-knopisms. Far less of Webby waxing poetic about lena’s virtues. Adding Violet meant less shared capital-L Looks or hugs or hand holds. So By the time season 2 wrapped up and a lot of that stuff wasnt as apparent, and they never bothered mentioning Lena ONCE before she came back, it became kind of clear that this was not a thing that was happening any more.

Then we got Penny’s “outing” which was not at all an outing. And seeing that penny not wanting to date earth men was a “compromise” that needed to be “fought for” really nailed that coffin shut for me. If we couldn’t get an openly wlw totally original tertiary character, we weren’t going to get it from Webby.

I dont know if they got unhappy executive notes about season 1 or if there was someone around championing the relationship early in production who left to work on other things, or if they just decided it wasnt important, but any hope held out for it after late season 2 was just me being delusional. I wanted to believe, I really did.

maybe I was delusional all along. Had my shipping goggles on. I dont know. I mean, it happens. it wouldnt be the first time and it wont be the last. 

I just really, REALLY wanted it, you know?

we couldnt have gotten like...one last ...something? Something just for them, to harken back to the energy they had in season 1?

sigh.

i havent written in a long time because i dont really have any stories left to tell, but I do brainstorm many projects with PCS. while I, and especially he, have often taken canon reveals in stride (when he first started writing Longest Shadows, we did not yet know about Violet. He was able to add her in fairly seamlessly, i think) I dont think we’ll be paying attention to any of this, ESPECIALLY some shit about Webby being Scrooge’s clone. (dumb dumb stupid dumb) I mean, you can ask him about it, but I know we’ve already shared some choice words, lol. Even if I operate under the assumption that the clone thing is and has been true all along, I’ll simply be working in a universe where it never came to light.

i can’t believe we would take this story about found family and make it about genetics in the 11th hour. what the holy fucking fuck is this nonsense. ugh.

I dont want to say I cant believe i wasted the last 5 years of my life on ducktales, because I didnt. It meant a lot to me. I had a lot of fun, i met some really awesome people, and in particular one person I can count among my very best friends in the whole world. so it wasnt a waste. And im not going to go on one of these weird tirades against frank where I try to hold him accountable for my emotional damages or whatever because Im an adult and not delusional. Thats the story he wanted to tell, for some reason I will never understand. We’re going to keep writing and daydreaming our own. And maybe, if Im lucky, I’ll live long enough to see the next reboot headed by some queer kid who grew up seeing themself in little baby gay webby vanderquack and makes it canon. N...not that we need another reboot. But i would watch that one. Just saying.

#ducktales #ducktales spoilers #weblena #Anonymous

[inosukeslefttoe]

SO i just finished wonder egg priority and i think that with confidence i can say it has been one of my favorite animes like... ever ?? and not even from hyperfixation or obsession over it just... its so fucking real yet so simple in a way that i havent rlly seen shown in any other shows you feel ??

but first i wanna talk about how sexy the art and animation is real quick... HOMIE ITS SO GOOD LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT JUST... serotonin... the characters are all so unique and iconic and fun but not over the top in their designs yknow ??? they seem like regular every day girls but they stand out and theyre all sO CUTE !!!! also i love how the style is like this soft bubbly slice of life lookin stuff with bright happy colors and the most beautiful scenes you could find but they also have the SICKEST fight scenes complete with whimsical animal helpers and terrifying villains and crazy weapons unique to each character. and the animation. god DAMN shawty i am obsessed with everything in this show. i might make a post solely about the art later lol bc i wanna get into the other stuff.

so the themes in the show right ?? it starts just as this cute lil magical girl kinda deal but within the first episode we see that like.. oh damn... thats kinda heavy... tbh i was a little shocked and thought about stopping bc yknow bad mental health BUT i was so intrigued that i had to keep going and i am SO GLAD that i did. because this show just so beautifully discusses all these heavy topics in such an eloquent and artistically expressive way. and also like, , the juxtaposition of the charming childlike vibe with bright colors and 14 yr old girl protagonists against the dark themes of suicide and so much else,, i think is just perfect. bc a lot of heavy animes are more of the seinen genre and have some middle aged dude as a protag or make the entire color palette dim or offer little relief to the pain of these heavy themes right ?? but NO not wonder egg bitches B) because these problems arent just things that ppl face later in life or just problems that need to be talked about among adults or the edgy seinen watching squad,, these are REAL problems that face people of every age, gender etc and i think its awesome that wonder egg addresses that. some may cringe at the thought of their high schooler watching animes that discuss sexual harassment, suicide, abuse, self harm, eating disorders etc,, but in reality it is the most comforting thing i have ever come across and is basically jsut free anime therapy. because not only does wonder egg present these themes to the viewers as something real that happens to all kinds of people (making said people feel heard in a way that maybe they hadnt before), but it also makes sure to vanquish all of these forms of trauma. and the way the trauma is vanquished isnt always beautiful and it isnt always just magically gone with a poof. the struggles of overcoming or living with that sort of thing are shown in such a real and relatable way that addresses every hardship trauma survivors have to go through. and i just. god i cry bro. 

oh m y GOD and the lgbtq+ rep in this show ?? like shawty... as soon as i saw episode one i was picking up on some gay/lesbian themes but then again im sapphic and project that a lot so i tend to see that sort of stuff like... everywhere... but NE WAYS... episode ten made me FUKCING CRY BRO LIke i cant believe there was a whole trans character with a whole trans pride hoodie like LKGHKDGH my heart is just so.. so fucking full thinking about him. bc like yeah i know there are trans characters in anime but i feel like theyre always very ambiguous about actually being trans or not or erased or portrayed as a harmful stereotype or theyre constantly misgendered and still refered to as their assigned gender at birth and i hate it. HOWEVEr... Kaoru.. *chefs kiss* it was so amazing to see a character straight up say “yeah im trans” in such a casual yet powerful way bc i personally have never seen that before. and i love love loved how he went into his backstory and talked to momoe about gender bc i think thats what she rlly needed and that it helped her find herself and it makes me so happy oh my god,, and the way they talked about it never seemed forced or like it was the focal point of his existence yknow ?? like yeah he existed to help momoe overcome some of her trauma but he also just existed to be HIM yknow ?? also... personally, i headcanon momoe as a trans girl even though i dont remember it being explicitly stated plus the school scenes of her and stuff would seem like they suggest otherwise ??but,,, SHAWTY THE AMOUNT OF SUBTEXT and her complicated relationship w gender is... something i feel like a cis girl would not go through so harshly yknow ?? with all of the questioning and feeling detached from femininity or feeling like ppl dont see her as an actual girl and only like her as a guy or for her masculine traits,,, but dont take my word on this bc i myself am a cis girl but that was just my take on it as someone in the lgbtq+ community trying to educate myself on the transgender community :) either way,, wonder eggs portrayal of momoe and kaoru and the way that momoe becomes so passionate about expressing herself the way she wants to as a girl is just... good lord im gonna cry its so perfect,,,.so ... i just love this show way too much. i also am honestly super lost about the relationship btwn acca and ura-acca ?? bc i was gonna mention ura-acca as a canonically gay guy bc when i was watching i interpreted ep 11 as him being in love with acca and being jealous of Azusa (bc i mean,, they lived together (i swear to god there was only one bed in that apartment) and had a daughter together and def loved each other and also when Frill said they were husbands and then when ura-acca said he wasnt attracted to azusa but he was def jealous of their relationship ??) but then i saw somewhere that theyre brothers ?? which would make sense ig since they look kinda similar and accas daughter called ura-acca “uncle”.. but at the same time its ANIME SO THEY ALL LOOK SIMILAR and referring to gay couples as siblings is an EXTREMELY common euphemism soooo... IM JUST LOST HERE... but yeah i tried doing research and found different things so i cant say anything for sure >:( however,,, if they are canonically a lil fruity for each other... when frill refered to acca as ura-accas husband i imploded dude you never hear that sort of wording in anime.. but if theyre related i am so sorry. 

god this is so much longer than i planned it to be oops but i also love the theme about like.. relying on friends to help carry your weight but at the same time not becoming completely dependent on those friends and using their support to learn how to love yourself and rely on yourself yknow ?? bc that is exactly what healthy friendships look like. bc i think ai sort of had a codependency thing goin on with koito maybe ?? but now she has a whole squad of funky friends that are so so different but all struggle with different kinds of trauma and although they fight over it, they always get through it with each other together. and they push each other no matter what to be the best versions of themselves and they teach other that getting hurt is okay because theyre always gonna be there to pick up the pieces no matter what happens. they can give each other space when they need and adapt to meet each others needs but theyre always able to balance it out with their own needs and thats such a beautiful thing in friendships especially at their age like damn i wish i had that maturity when i was 14 but no all i had was depression. another thing is that through these friendships you get to see all the different sides of each girl; you get to see them being strong or a shining light to their friends when theyre hurting but you also get to see them being hurt and weak and allowing themselves to be on the receiving end of the comfort. their friendships allows them to have weaknesses but it also allows them to highlight their strengths and thrive off of each others. I LOVE FRIENDSHIP DUDE

next i wanna briefly mention some of the themes connected to suicide that ive noticed. a big one is the survivors guilt that ai feels once koito is dead. several times she screams that she wishes she couldve gone with koito and she dreams of a “perfect world” where they committed a double suicide. one of the main reasons for her troubles is that she blames herself for koitos death and feels like it should be her thats dead... but at the same time she feels like too much of a coward to do anything now that koito is gone. she just has all these complex and contradicting feelings that wear away at her in ways that ppl that havent gone through the suicide of a loved one could never imagine. a lot of the times when things like this are portrayed in media i feel like its more in a way thats meant to guilt trip those that have taken their own lives and paint suicide as this selfish sin thats unforgivable but... not only does wonder egg reject that idea and instead portray it as a heartbreaking tragedy with,,, so so many terrible reasons, but it focuses on the feelings of ai separate from koito without blaming her in any way. not once did i feel like the show antagonized koito or that ai blamed koito for doing any of this, but they simply mourned her loss and touched on ais reaction towards the event but separate from koito herself if that makes sense. and i think that discussing survivors guilt without painting koito as the bad guy is something so beautifully done in wonder egg that can really resonate with those that have lost a loved one to suicide and have struggled with these same things.

okay i think this is the last thing ill mention,,, but HOMIE THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE BIT AT THE END. I AM. OBSESSED. i am such a whore for anything about the multiverse okay n e ways...,, not only did this make a super epic trippy ending of season one and add a little bit more magical girl whimsy to the show,, but it had such a powerful message. from the perspective of og ai,, finding out that you killed yourself in another world is... i mean its definitely not a surprise but at the same time it rlly makes you think how close og ai herself couldve been to that point and what decisions led her out of that dark place in her life. if i were in her shoes i would be terrified and id cry bc the thought of going back to such a dark place and actually going through with something like that is my worst fear and probably something that ai fears too. but at the same time,,, think from the perspective of ai two !!! like yeah its true that theres this awful terrible version of ai that dies but theres also a whole version of ai that is a superhero magical girl fighting off monsters to save countless ppls lives !! and she has a badass lizard and a gang of awesome friends !!! at first i was worried that ai two would be jealous of og ai and compare herself to her and feel inferior but like.. THEYRE LITERALLY THE SAME PERSON AND CAPABLE OF THE SAME THINGS !!! and ai two realized that !! just within the span of one episode, she went from the version of ai who took her life,, to the version of ai jumping in front of a friend to take a bullet for them and save their life. and that just inspired THE SHIT OUT OF ME. i think that ai was sent another version of herself to sort of beat her own worst enemy yknow ?? those doubts and fears that shes no good or that shes that same bystander from episode one and that she hasnt changed at all. but getting to interact with her parallel self and see her grow was just what she needed to realize that while yeah sometimes the worst thing can happen and things can be terrible but on the other hand sometimes the most wonderful thing imaginable can happen because she has the power to do either. 

so im gonna go ahead and stop rambling bc i got all my thoughts out that i wanted to for this post :D but yeah lol i might make another if i feel like it sometime. long story short: this show is perfect and it is going on my favorite of all times.

#wonder egg priority #wonder egg spoilers #ai ohto #rika kawai #momoe sawaki #wonder egg priority neiru #i forgot neirus name #anime review #wonder egg ai #lgbtq anime

[theinfernalmemes]

I JUST FINISHED CHAIN OF IRON AND IM IN SHOCK HOLY SHIT *MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW*

so let’s describe my thoughts and feelings through the class of memes 🧎🏻‍♀️

RIGHT OKAY THE MATTER OF SHIPS 🛥

JORDELIA:

PLS I WASNT CONVINCED ON THEIR RELATIONSHIP LAST BOOK BUT NOW I AM FOR SURE ONG I WAS INTERNALLY SCREAMING THROUGHOUT THAT LAST BIT WITH GRACE AND MATTHEW UFHEHGK ALSO WHEN THE BRACELET BROKE I SCREAMED ALOUD LIKE YUHHHHHHHH anyways i’m a jordelia shipper most certainly

JESSE AND LUCIE:

MY FAVOURITE SHIP EVER! I WILL DIE ON THE HILL THAT THEIR DYNAMIC IS MOST BEAUTIFUL LIKE PLS THE GHOST AND THE GIRL WHO CAN SEE HIM, FALLING IN LOVE??? THATS WHAT I NEED. THEIR DECLARATIONS OF LOVE ALMOST HAD ME IN TEARS AND DONT GET ME STARTED ON US SEEING HOW JESSE SEES LUCIE OMG TRUE LOVE AT ITS FINEST IVE LOVED THEM SINCE COG AND THAT HAS ONLY INCREASED IMPOSSIBLY

ANNA X ARIADNE / THOMAS X ALASTAIR:

miss clare really said no❤️ to the gays this book, yes we got steamy scenes BUT NOTHING ABOUT THEIR LOVE AND IM STILL SO UPSET ABOUT ANNA AND ALASTAIR DENYING THOMAS AND ARIADNE TO PROTECT THEM LIKE SHUT UPPPPPP JUST TAKE THEM BACK I BEG

GRACE AND CHRISTOPHER:

I LOVE THEM I LOVE THEM I LOVE THEM

their little scene in the carriage last book hooked me in and their time in the lab had me IN LOVE god i live for their dynamic and i want kit to show her what it is to be loved because she truly is misunderstood and now i’m so happy that she broke the mirror with tatiana I WAS LIKE YES BITCH BREAK THAT GLASS

MATTHEW AND SOBRIETY:

when cordelia came up with the condition for his sobriety i was so HAPPY god i love my bb cordelia bringing together one of the most important ships MATTHEW DESERVES HAPPINESS AND SOBRIETY PERIOD. i want him sober before cassie even DARES to give him a love interest so that’s that.

CHARACTERS AND THEIR ARCS:

jess blackthorn the loml:

jesse blackthorn is one of my favourite characters EVER and omg i was in pure shock when the reveal was that he was the killer LIKE BRUH i had a little inkling but i didn’t expect cassie to actually go through with it PLS anyways my best boy is back now and if someone so much as touches a hair on his head i will riot at dawn 😀

james herondale my blind boy:

oh james i do love you. he’s the most thoughtful son of a bitch and i’m so happy that he now knows what it is to feel real love and not the burdened affection he was forced into by the bracelet and tatiana’s madness

christopher lightwood softest boy:

i love my lil science boy and i was so happy when he got to speak to grace without feeling the need to hold back for the sake of others like YES BB GET EXCITED WITHOUT REMORSE YOU DESERVE IT ASF

cordelia and lucie ✨herondale✨:

babes imma need y’all to think for a minute. CORDELIA DONT YOU DARE THINK ABT NOT BECOMING LUCIES PARABATAI LIKE COME ON i also wish cordelia didn’t get so upset about being lillith’s paladin like ik it sucks but they’re here for you <3 and lucie imma need you take a breather DONT GO KILLING URSELF TO PULL A STUNT LIKE THAT AGAIN scary asf omg

honourable mentions:

- alastair sweetie i love you but STOP PULLING THIS SHIT ON THOMAS i get that you don’t wanna be a bad influence or whatever BUT UR DEVELOPMENT IS GOING STRONG SO STRONG LETS NOT STOP NOW

- same goes for grace tbh i’m proud asf for her for saying no to her ABUSER like yes bb you go girl and keep up that development

- when anna cried i was hurting with her omg i just wish she would open herself back up again to ariadne so she could be truly happy

- ariadne my determined little angel pls don’t give up on our bb anna

- thomas ily just trust in alastair and try to win him back ik you can

- MATTHEW PLS PLS PLS LOOK AFTER YOURSELF i would also like you to focus on your sobriety and get over cordelia asap it is in your best interest babe

- charles don’t even dare to fuck up what thomas and alastair have i’m not in the mood, get yourself a parisian boyfriend of sumn

- okay but like eugenia is such a badass like?? give her more scenes pls

ANYWAYS THERES THAT expect some memes momentarily as i’m utterly in love

#the shadowhunter chronicles #the last hours #tlh #chain of iron #chain of iron spoilers #tsc #tlh memes #james herondale #matthew fairchild #cordelia carstairs #lucie herondale #jesse blackthorn #alastair carstairs #grace blackthorn #christopher lightwood #thomas lightwood #jordelia #heronthorn #shadowhunters

[wisherbysharlight]

WHAT IF... SANDERS SIDES BUT MAKE IT A TROPEY TEEN BEACH AU

Endgame!LAMP. Dukeceit, Remile

Just 2k stream of consciousness words from a plunny that grew legs TW for v slight underage drinking, one joking mention of violence, and a non-specific discussion of intrusive thoughts

-Janus has just moved there because his parents wanted to start a new "adventure" and he is a Stereotypical Teenager. Very "ugh MOM I wanna go back to my FRIENDS for my LAST SUMMER BEFORE COLLEGE"(most of his friends suck. He should not spend time with them. He does not know this)

His Parents buy him a surfboard and tell him to try it out as a way to get him to Shut Up

Hes a Skater Boy(cue music) so he picks it up super fast from like,,, youtube videos

 -He gets told to Get a Job if he wants to like, keep buying surf gear?

All the local kids work at like one restaurant/yacht club type place right on the beach

Janus gets hired as a host

 -Logan is a beach badge checker, Patton, Roman, and Remus are beachfront restaurant waiters but Roman just Really Wants To Surf, Emile and Virgil are Lifeguards, and Remy is a bartender

 -Janus is Very Good At Customer Service because Fake Smiles

Patton recognizes this Immediately

He shows him the Rage Closet which is a tiny room with an arm chair that locks from the inside where you can punch a pillow on your break when it gets to be Too Much

-Janus is Attached now and there is no getting rid of him

Patton Fully Endorses this and introduces him to the rest of the group

Janus Knows Immediately that LAMP is In Love but says nothing because he aint no snitch

-Remus surfs, but he also always wear a thong while doing it

Roman wears a full wetsuit and somehow still gets Board Rash. Remus is somehow immune and it infuriates him

 -Janus, not knowing that the twins live right on the beach cuz they are RichTM: Hey Ree I kinda wanna learn how to surf would you be able to teach me 

Remus, who religiously watches Janus surf every morning, but is absolutely willing to play this game: Yeah absolutely

Patton, later: “lets rinse off at the twins they’re right here” Janus: theyre.... What?!

 -Meanwhile, elsewhere, Virgil and Roman are double teaming Logan to drag him into the water with them cuz he’s pouting about losing a debate with their manager about how he didn’t really be mean to the dudebro who wanted to get his buddies onto the beach without paying, he was just enforcing the rules. And if the dude was so offended by Logan’s Very Accurate Dragging that he complained to management then, well, that’s his problem not Logan’s

 -Logan is never without a book. Ever. And its always a different book. Janus is starting to think he owns a library

One day he is just... reading a Physics textbook. Not taking notes or anything. Just reading. 

Roman is Very Very Alarmed by this because he is Gay and Math is Scary

"Roman I'm also gay that is not a determining factor"

"Yeah but you can't drive"

"...fair"

 -the first time janus has a shift with the twins, he cant stop staring, not just because hes like,,, super attracted to Remus but also because they are like Chaos Incarnate and yet somehow get the most tips??? He doesn't understand???

It's just cuz they are both Huge Flirts and Flatterers and the patrons dont care that they're not-so-subtly beating the shit out of each other right there on the dining floor because theyre just so charming

 -one of the bartenders gets aggressively snapped at by a customer and called "sweetheart" and before Janus can even begin to react Remy is there, sunglasses off, fire in his eyes, telling them to settle their bill and get the fuck out

Janus, used to City Restaurants- "Wont you get in trouble with the owner?!"

Remy, who knows Nothing Else But This- "What?? Not likely I only did it cuz Thomathy wasnt here to do it himself"

 -the restaurant is closed Monday and Tuesday so that is the Pseudo Weekend for the staff where everyone hangs out at the beach

Emile and Virgil take Tuesdays off but still work Monday’s cuz they feel better being the one watching over their friends

 -Roman, staring at Virgil on the lifeguard stand: ugh he’s so pretty I almost wish I was drowning just so he could give me cpr 

Janus: you wanna potentially get your ribs broken just for lip contact? 

Remy, staring at Emile on the lifeguard stand: listen, if that’s what it takes, I’ll take it

Remus, immediately going up to the lifeguard stand because he has 0 impulse control: hey my brother and cousin want you to break their ribs 

Virgil and Emile: excuse me?????

 -Patton will literally spend hours in the water. Logan physically drags him out to put sunscreen on him every two hours to the minute. Patton does not admit that he purposely "forgets" just so Logan will do so

Logan is Dark and has never used sunscreen ever but Patton is so pale and he just gets so concerned about him. Patton thinks its adorable

He has pages of research on proper spf determination.

Roman and Remus use spf 15 just on their faces and have never once burned in their lives

Logan wants to submit them for scientific study because that shouldnt be possible

Virgil calls Logan out on the fact that he also should be wearing sunscreen and Logan like... blue screens he cant believe in all his research he missed that

 -Patton is like... a ridiculously strong swimmer. Virgil still has a heart attack every time he goes for laps when there is the slightest hint of an undertow

Patton Knows This so he tries to stay in Virgil's sight line for the most part if there is an undertow. Or just dives over the waves again and again.

His nickname is Ariel. He thinks its just cuz of the swimming and the fact hes a red head. LAP all separately also tack on that its the swimming, the red hair, and the hnng pretty 10/10 would follow out to sea ala Prince Eric

 -first beach bonfire Janus goes to Remy is Fully In Emile's Lap like... half an hour in

he has had like maybe a sip of a beer

Remus says he still claims this is because he is a Clingy Drunk

no one will call him on it, least of all Emile

 -there is truth or dare. Roman may or may not skinny dip you have no proof

 -Logan gets infuriated that he cannot roast a marshmallow properly

Patton does it perfectly every single time but its ok cuz he shares and Logan eats it right from his fingers and Roman and Virgil are just in the background Trying and Failing not to be the Most Jealous

Patton thinks theyre upset they didn't get marshmallows and makes some for them too and there is lots of Significant Eye Contact involved

Janus is going to spontaneously combust if they don't get their shit together

 -Janus is out walking on the beach one night on a full moon cuz he cant sleep with everything so quiet around here when he sees a bright green patch out in the water and goes ...wait

he calls out to Remus and he comes into shore and is like "waves are perfect at night you should join me" so janus goes back and gets his board and they surf and chat for like the entire night

Janus finds out Remus couldn't sleep cuz intrusive thoughts were keeping him awake

Janus listens and doesn't judge, just lets Remus talk it out

They go back to shore and fall asleep on the sand next to each other like mid sentence still talking, now about whatever creative business idea Remus had, and get woken up by Logan's morning rounds like "come on guys you know you're not allowed to sleep out here" but they dont care theyre both just *blushing emoji*

-Logan Always Has A Notebook right? And a regular book he reads. And everyone assumes they are like Notions and Observations, but no, it’s actually blank paper and he uses it to sketch and then one day he leaves it behind and someone either Virgil or Patton finds it and flips through it and it’s all sketches of them and Roman and they’re like??? Actually really good? Anyway that’s how they find out Logan is actually minoring in art even though he’s majoring in something Very STEM 

And he never told his best friends because like almost all his pre college art is Them and he doesn’t want to be caught having Feelings and by the time it gets to college it’s been too long and he can’t tell them now 

Roman takes one of the sketches of him surfing and makes it his profile picture on All Social Media He Has and Logan is so flustered he nearly breaks his damn phone

Patton is so offended he didn’t get invited to Logan’s first showcase that he doesn’t talk to him for like two whole hours 

Virgil quietly asks if there is any art of all four of them, finds out there is, and makes a print and keeps it on his bedside table

 -They are all Pining Outwardly Now and its Worse

 -Remus : you have known them since pre-k please ask them out I beg of you 

Roman: You just dont get it 

Remus: I asked Janus out after 4 weeks what is your problem

 Emile: Virgil, I love you, you are my Partner in Anti-Drowning but you are so stupid 

Virgil: What???? All I said is that you and Remy are really cute and I'd love to be in a relationship like that 

Emile: I am not a violent person, Virgil, but I have the strong urge to smack you

 Patton, in the Rage Closet: They're all just so hOT and ReSPEctFUL 

Janus, waiting for his turn, trying to act like he cant hear him: I Am Looking Elsewhere

 Logan: I just don't understand why they were more upset that I didn't tell them than that I'd been making art of them for years?? Shouldn't that second part be worse??

Remy, who has been partial to Every Single One Of AMP Waxing Poetic About Logan: Yeah, no idea /s

 -the twins get into a surfing competition as a pair and everyone goes to see them and support them

Thomas airs the competition on every tv in the restaurant cuz he’s Proud of his Bois

They WIN cuz they are Creative and Talented and came up with all sorts of crazy tricks while they were fucking around in the water but it earns them Major Bonus Points for originality

 -Roman does the run off the podium and into Love’s arms trope with just like... whoever’s closest lets go Patton because he is a Waif and forced himself up front so he can see

The other two are Devastated because well shit but then Roman pushes through the crowd, still holding Patton’s hand, and gives them this smile and is like “remember in like second grade when we said we’d do everything together and made a pact on this beach”

Analogical: uhhhhhh yeah

Roman: holding you both to it. No take backs. This counts. Now kiss me, dammit, we WON and they DO MANY TIMES AND ITS REAL CUTE

 -Meanwhile dukeceit have Mysteriously Disappeared and No One wants to be the ones to go find them. They show back up, eventually. Janus has a branch in his hair and remus' hair is sticking straight up and when he opens his mouth roman glares at him and tells him in no uncertain terms that they do not want to know

 AnYWaY these are my children and I will gladly answer any questions about them. I left out Janus Backstory and Creativitwins Angst and Many Individual LAMP Scenes and Remile/Dukeceit getting together and Epilogue but can absolutely provide such things on request

#romantic lamp #dukeceit #remile #ts fic #sanders sides fic #remus mention #tropey beach au #listen im not responsible for what i do when on the beach with discord open #this is so self indulgent my god

[shibalen]

💥hewwo can I pwease get a romantic male matchup for bnha (darkbox bc I live for angst) (music box) when you have the time uwu

Levi he/him gay entp supposedly (also if it's not too much to ask please no characters under the age of 18 please)

I've been described as having a strong and loud personality, I'm extroverted and outspoken. I'm pretty eccentric too.

I value friendship, kindness and standing up for others.

Goal wise I'm pretty aimless. I dont have any goals, if I die well I guess that's it babey. In the meantime I'm just here to help animals and people who need it.

Positive traits: I always stick up for people in need, I'm good at reading people, I'm good with animals, I love to make people smile and laugh, cheerful, good at talking my way out of bad situations, uhm. Friendly!

Negative traits would be: hot headed, loud, stubborn, arrogant, comes across as intimidating:( good at getting into bad situations, gets into fights very often. Can be spiteful, I've been described as a pyromaniac so theres that. Can be sadistic

What pisses me off: my father. I can and will cause trouble for that man for as long as I live. And people who pick on the weak.

My hobbies and interests areeee: true crime babey! Crying over video games, baking, the occult, taking naps, dream interpretations and tarot readings

Likes: animals, cats specifically, stars, fire, sunsets, supposedly haunted places, storms, being dramatic for the hell of it, tormenting people in a good hearted way

Dislikes: uhhhh hot weather I guess.

Quirks: uh I have 5 cats! Ones my fathers but he never takes care of his cat so i pretty much count him as my own (plus he likes me more than my dad and it pisses my dad off hehe) I have weirdly accurate intuition, it makes reading people easy, knowing what they want to hear and what they dont.

Uhhh dates and relationship wise I'm honestly happy doing whatever my s/o wants to do. All I want is to see their face light up.

My love language is physical touch, I dont like touching people but if it's someone I feel strongly about youd have to pry me away from them.

I once got kicked out of a library for starting a fight in it, trashy I know but I wasnt going to stand there and do nothing while my friends were being bullied and pressured into getting involved with a really dodgy man. I scared the bullies off for good at least B) they never bothered my friend again babey

Oh I'm also known around the area I live in as someone who's good at finding homes of lost pets. Often times I come across a lost animal and befriend it in no time and use my connections to find its family.

Sorry if this was rly long and thank you for your time!! I hope you have a fantastic day uwu if anything's too difficult to come up with ideas for I'm more than happy for you to change anything to make it easier for you too!

♡︎ matchup for anon

heya! here i am with another late matchup but i hope you still see this. i'm sorry about the delay (╯_╰)

bnha: i match you with . . .

natsuo todoroki !!

• this was one of those "heureka!" moments for me. you both hate your dads and hot weather? it's a match made in heaven! okay jk, these are just nice add-ons.

• what really made me consider Natsuo were your values and personality. kindness and friendships are important to both of you. Natsuo's a medical student so i am convinced helping others is high on his priority list too. he loves your driven and passionate nature because he doesn't go sugarcoating bs either.

• you're definitely the more energetic one while Natsuo only gets hot-headed about the things that are the most important to him. i think it's a good compromise, you can help each other out :)

• he was a little taken aback and cautious of your explosiveness at first but warmed up to it quickly after learning what a kind person you really were. now he thinks your dramatic attitude is funny during your sillier moments ٩(◕‿◕｡)۶

• speaking of, you lads met at an animal shelter. there had been a dog that was astray in the neighbourhood of his home, so Natsuo, being a responsible boyo, took it to the local shelter.

• then there you were, standing by the help desk with five kittens wrapped in your jacket in your arms. apparently someone had been trying to drown them so you'd taken care of the situation accordingly.

• Natsuo understood jumping into a lake to rescue the poor animals because he would have done the same, but you could have had just called the police?? it was extremely ridiculous but admirable at the same time to beat all those guys up.

• your chat turned into a pleasant conversation afterwards as you were waiting for the animals to finish their check-ups. Natsuo was a bit shy but you didn't mind and kept the chat going which he appreciated.

• later he volunteered to help you look for good homes for the animals you'd both found. during this project the two of you got to know each other quite well and ended up hanging out together afterwards!

• and from that point on, everything fell into place naturally. the growing spark between you was undeniable and you both knew it. Natsuo definitely liked you longer, he was just a lil dense about it . . .

• you're nothing short of a hero in his eyes but dear lord he worries for you. when he's attending lectures he sometimes can't help but wonder if you're all right and not getting involved in anything violent.

• attends to your possible injuries while nagging you not to be so quick to start a fight next time. in return, you playfully bully him for being such a mom.

• you join forces with Fuyumi to pick on him about your relationship. even though you're already together, soft Natsuo still blushes when his affection for you is brought up, it's entertaining for both you and Fuyumi.

• idk if you've heard but Natsuo's 181cm tall!! hugging someone has never been easier even if you happen to be taller than him. the only thing is his skin's naturally kind of chilly so he's lowkey worried if you dislike it but you always assure him he's perfect!

• one time he was stressed over exams so you baked him some blueberry muffins. he gave you the biggest hug and kiss because it's exactly all these little things you do that set his heart racing for you ♡︎

• "last night i saw a dream about being a frog and eating giant flies, it was gross."

• "oh, that just means your love life is about to become fun."

• "i'm not sure how those two are related."

• "just trust me. i'm a pro at this."

• he also likes giving you headpats as much as he likes receiving them! his hands are quite big so he often runs his fingers through your hair when you're cuddling or hugging. it's especially relaxing after a long period of studying. also him carring you on his broad back ԅ(￣ε￣ԅ)

• you enjoy the little things in life and complain about your fathers together. you've agreed to wait a while before even mentioning your relationship to them because, honestly, Natsuo doesn't want any more horrible influences in your life.

• you get him sucked into the world of video games. it's always fun to watch him struggle but he never gets salty about losing maybe a lil he adores your smile as you laugh at him for being so bad at them.

• your dates include: helping out at animal shelters and retirement homes, video game and movie nights (especially about true crime), arcades and astronomy tower explorstions. i feel like Natsuo's more into traditional, romantic and chill dates and that's your usual thing. though i see sometimes you going to get coffee and ending up solving a 50-year-old murder case instead (✧ω✧)

❦︎ ink box

— despite Natsuo's best efforts to distance himself from Endeavor, it wasn't quite as easy and everyone was very much aware of the Todoroki family. and now the son of the number 1 hero had a lover.

— it wasn't actually that troublesome at first. some newpaper paparazzi occasionally annoyed you but you didn't care for them. most of the time Natsuo and you had your peace during dates aside from a few casual fans.

— but of course there are all sorts of people out there, some out for revenge, some for money, and being desperate means using even the lowest of methods to get what you want.

— so one time it happened, and it was all that took. several bitter villains thought they'd get their revenge through you, silly as it may sound. they made a big show of kidnapping you and demanding Endeavor to 'make up' for his wrongdoing. but all got resolved thanks to heroes, the only casualty being Natsuo's heart from almost exploding from worry and his deepening hatred for his father.

— later on, it wasn't that Natsuo was worried about you not being able to handle yourself, he feared what might happen if more of powerful villains came after you.

— so, after some debate, you agreed not to meet up for a short while to let the fuse of the incident settle down. it would be safer once the media forgot about it. you still texted and chatter over phone though!

— but then a week turned into two weeks, then into a month. you were wondering what was taking Natsuo to say the coast was clear and did a straight-up inquiry through a video chat.

— you could see he was restless the entire time. he said you should wait longer just to be sure everything was calm before meeting up. you became irritated because he was obviously lying and not being his normal, brutally honest self.

— why was he giving you this crap straight to your face?

— truthfully, Natsuo hadn't been sleeping all right recently. ever since that day he had reoccurring nightmares about something awful happening to you. they were just dreams, he knew. yet considering his ruffled up past and the frequency of those horrible visions, it would have been lie to say he was unaffected.

— paranoia just wouldn't leave him alone, and no matter how much he wanted to hold you in his arms again and hated making up stupid excuses, the voice at the back of his mind whispered this was for the best.

— after a month and a half had passed you've had just about enough, however. whatever reason he was keeping you in the dark for did no longer stop you from crashing into his house and demanding the truth.

— Natsuo knew you and expected this to eventually happen. after you made such a powerful entrance though he also knew there was no getting around it this time. really, it was comforting knowing you cared so deeply.

— he told you exactly what had been happening and you resisted the urge to punch him in the arm for having such a mindset. but the look in his beautiful grey eyes was so heartbreaking you threw yourself to embrace him instead. your touch was everything Natsuo had craved for for all this time.

— you skillfully assured him for the next couple of hours while keeping the talk light-hearted (he had obviously been overthinking way too much already). soon enough the issue was resolved and you had a sleepover right there to make uo for the lost time (Shoto and Fuyumi kept eavesdropping on you because y'all were being way too loud in a cute way).

— "i love you, Natsu, but if you ever keep something like this a secret from me again, i can't guarantee the safety of your arm or your front door."

♫︎ music box

— If I Had An Airplane by SayWeCanFly

— This December by Rick Montgomery

— Round & Laundry from Carole and Tuesday

— Haven't Had Enough by Marianas Trench

— Bowie On The Radio by Ryan McMullan

♡︎ runner up: Dabi / Touya Todoroki

thank you for requesting, hopefully you enjoyed this! i'm really pleased about matching you with Natsuo, it's just so perfect. have a lovely day and remember to take care of yourself ♡︎

#len's matches #💥anon #matchups #bnha matchups

[everything-mormons-hate]

Okay so story time.

So I was [obviously] raised in the Mormon Church and I am also queer as fuck. I am actually a senior in high school currently and almost 18 (for a little context for everything i guess). I have known I was queer since late october early November of freshman year. This story time is mainly about the homophobia i have faced within mormonism.

Okay so for a long time i was quite homophobic due to my lovely lovely upbringing. I started to doubt wether or not I was right in this belief around early ish freshman year exact dates are unknown as most of my life and escpecially freshman year don't exist in my memory due to trauma and depression. The reasons for this were things like my best friend at the time coming out as bi to me and trump getting elected as this was late 2016 and seeing how scared people were about that. And then right around the time i started drifting away from the beliefs I was raised with I realized i was very vry gay and infact had a huge crush on my best friend. Now me being the useless fucking gay that i am didnt actually end up getting together with my best friend despite both of us knowing we liked each other until late December and that's when the problems really started. You see I lived in the deep south at the time plus my best friend and i met at church. All of our fucking leaders immediately pinned us as gay. This lead to things like:

Our leaders did everything to keep us apart and my mother who was actually one of the leaders for a while would go as far as to separate me from all of my friends at church.

I had a friend's parents do everything they possibly could to keep me from talking to my friend and i wasnt allowed to hug or touch her at all because they didnt like the possibility of me being gay

I had a leader pull my best friend and possibly at the time significant other (i dont remember if we were technically together at this point or not) and i aside and basically go look i know yall aren't lesbians cause you like boys but youre making some of the young women and old people uncomfortable so you need to stop being all touchy.

(I feel like it is important to mention really quick that physical contact is a huge thing for me and if i know youre okay with it and i am comfy with you i will be super super touchy and shit its just how i show i trust you)

I had leaders yell at me for hugging and cuddling my friends

I discovered a week before i moved that one of my leaders had thought i had dated all of my friends

My last girls camp i became friends with a girl in another ward and it was immediately assumed that i must be trying to fuck her or some shit (spoiler alert i am very ace) and we got in so much trouble over quite frankly everything.

Actually that week is a whole story in itself: she came with me to go get my flashlight from my cabin and i got yelled at for that

She had her leaders tell her i was a terrible person that she shouldnt talk to or hang out with

We had the stake leaders pull us aside to bitch at us about honestly i dont remember i just remember the multiple panic attacks and breakdowns before hand

We had the leaders make it very clear i wasnt allowed to be alone with anyone because what if.

Honestly im sure other fucked up shit happened that i have forgotten but yeah. Needless to say by the end of all this I was so ready to move as i knew where i was moving was a very liberal area and unfortunately this hope of actually being accepted ended up being my downfall.

Three days after i moved here i made the error of coming out to two of the young women. One of them told the bishop which lead to him pulling me into his office and asking me if "i struggled with same sex attraction"

I quickly became an outcast in my new ward and that is honestly still how it is after nearly three years of living here. I made friends with 1 of the young men and his mom is one of my leaders and her and i get along well but other then that everyone views me as either some project or someone not worth talking to.

Thats not even getting into the homophobia and abuse i have suffered through at the hands of my own family using their religion as their crutch or how the reason i dont remember so much of freshman year was on top of the suicidal thoughts and the depression i was abused so much more that year then other years.

#exmormon #exmo #exlds #lds #mormon #apostake #excult #cult survivor #tw: religious trama #religious trauma #religious #religious abuse #abuse #child abuse #homophobia #queer #gay #ssa #god i hate the phrase same sex attraction makes me wanna murder someone #cult #emotional abuse

[ti-bae-rius]

Massive TW for eating disorders, restrictive eating, etc.

Sooo I never thought I’d make this post but here we go.

Last week, on Tuesday night, I had convulsions. I couldn’t stop shaking, and it was like a diabetic response. This was because I have anorexia. Nothing that scary has ever happened as a result and it was a real shock. My parents were terrified and the next day, a week ago today, they intervened. Things had to change. I agreed.

I’ve had this problem since I was about 14, around the age I had my first panic attack. At the time, I was a performer. I spent a lot of time in tight-fitting leotards, changing in front of people, being lifted by partners and fitted for costumes. What I ate was important. Like I mentioned, I had my first panic attack around this age. I also got a sickness bug, which made my emetophobia a lot worse. I was also figuring out that I was gay. None of these things were in my control. My panic attacks, it turns out, are spontaneous, untriggered, and chronic. I couldn’t control when they happened. I still can’t. I probably won’t ever be able to. I couldn’t control the fact I was ill. I couldn’t control my sexuality.

But I could control what I ate and how much.

Which is what I did.

It was never about the way I looked. I didn’t want to be thin, it wasn’t about my appearance. It was about control, power. I felt so strong, so powerful. I was in control. No one could stop me. I took pride in ways to hide how little food I was eating.

But I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t in control. I wasn’t powerful at all. I was weak - physically. I couldn’t run, I couldn’t work for too long without getting headache, I got out of breath doing everything. And my body suffered. I was malnourished. I got hair all over my body because my body was trying to keep me warm without any fat. The hair on my head started falling out. I got acne. My hair was greasy. I was pale and my veins stood out. It was never about looks before, but now it was.

Now, I hated how I looked, and I couldn’t see that I’d done it to myself. I’d made me hate my body. The solution? Keep starving myself.

I was miserable. I was hungry, I could see my ribs, my wrists could be encircled by two fingers. I had a thigh gap that I hated. Leggings hung like joggers. I had no boobs. I never wore makeup because I hated looking at my face in the mirror for long enough to put it on.

I tried every work around I could think of. I cut my hair short so it didn’t fall out. I dyed it so you couldn’t see how weak it was. I bought baggy clothes and told people I was always cold. And it was worth it - because I was so powerful, wasnt I? So fucking powerful that I had to quit the thing that caused all of this - I stopped dancing. I didn’t have the stamina. I stopped singing. I didn’t have the lung capacity. I stopped acting. I didn’t have the memory.

I’d undermined all the things I loved.

And I kept going, kept sabotaging, kept making the circle I lived inside smaller and smaller.

And then last week.

I’ve only been doing this a week, and it’s petrifying, but it’s so worth it. I sing to myself again, I get excited to know what’s for tea, I have the energy to work! I’ve lost so many years of my life for fake power when I could have reclaimed it myself all those years ago by being healthy. I never had to take power back - I always had it. Only when I started grabbing for it by starving myself did I lose it.

I’ve never spoken about this, ever. I was so ashamed, so embarrassed, so scared. But if I put this out into the world, I feel like I’ll hold myself accountable, know that I started my recovery and I can damn well continue it.

Recovery isn’t linear - I know that. I’ll have good days and bad days, days where those old habits will creep back, and days I’ll be able to quash them. But right now, I’m happy. Right now, I’m not afraid I’ll faint at any moment. Right now, I think I’m going to go and get a biscuit.

#tw eating habits #tw eating disorder #tw eating things #tw eating mention #tw eating stuff #cw eating problems #cw ed mention #tw ed #tw ed mention #tw ed recovery