#note to self if you actively hate something then you probably shouldn't be doing it

[gorgeouslypink]

"You're not lacking in self awareness, you're lacking in self love."

Sometimes I feel like it's really easy to fall into self hatred during your void journey. Obviously, when you have a goal that you really really want to achieve but keep failing on, it's easy to get frustrated and disappointed with yourself. And it gets even worse when you try to vent and you are just blamed for not trying, for not persisting long enough, for not focusing hard enough, etc.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying bloggers or the community is wrong for their tough love. Most of the time, they're spot on because a lot of people want to enter the void but don't acctually do anything except for maybe scrolling on tumblr and these people suffer from a severe lack of self awareness. And even with people who are actively trying, it's still the truth, but it's a really tough pill to swallow when you're already feeling down.

On a side note, this is why I feel like a lot of people find manifestation in general toxic. Because manifestation forces us to take accountability for everything in our lives and most people like to blame others. But we know that we are the creators of our realities and unfortunately, not entering the void is our fault. 

But back to what I was saying, I just want to tell you that I know you're trying and doing your best. I know the problem isn't self awareness. You know that you haven't entered the void, you know it's your fault, and you're taking the steps to enter the void but it sometimes takes a bit of practice and patience and within all your self awareness, I don't want you to fall into self hatred. I know it's frustrating but practice a bit of self love.

No one but you knows how hard you have it. No but you knows how hard you've been trying. And no one but you is going to be more happy when you do enter. So don't be mean to yourself when you're doing your best for you.

Recently, I watched this video on procastination and honestly , before I just blamed procastination on laziness and while that's still a reason, did you know the biggest reason is acctually wanting perfection and fear of failure?

Think about it. Whether it's doing your English paper or wanting to enter the void, the reason you probably procastinate on both is wanting perfection and fear of failure. For your English paper, you want to write the best paper and get a perfect grade but you feel like you lack the right words so you push it off until you are in a more creative writing mood and then you keep doing that until it's the night before the paper is due and you're basically just forced to write something. For the void, a lot of people procastinate on the void because they don't want to fail and they're waiting till they have the perfect void concept or they're waiting for a easy, guaranteed method. You're not procastinating because you're lazy or you're a horrible person who doesn't care about yourself, you're procastinating because you're afraid of failure, but sometimes you need to fail and keep failing till you succeed.

The reason I shared that about procastinstion is to say to not hate yourself just because you haven't entered the void. While it is your fault and you do need to take accountability, there were situations and you know exactly what happened. Maybe other people will dismiss your situation but you shouldn't do that to yourself too.

The thing about manifestation and reprogramming or meditating is that there are no failed efforts. If you listened to a subliminal, even for a bit, you still reprogrammed your mind a bit. Not enough to override your previous reprogramming but it's not like the subliminal's reprogramming had no effect. Or like failed meditation attempts. Yeah, you failed but you did practice meditating and it's going to get more accustomed with focusing and tap into deeper levels of meditation next time.

So appreciate yourself for whatever work you did. Don't hate yourself. You've been doing good, but now just pull yourself together, really examine your situation and what you've learned and make a plan, stick to it, and enter the void!! Take a break if you need to, but you know best where you're at what right now and what you should probably be doing moving forward. If you feel like you doubt the void, read My Doubts post. If you feel like you have certain blockages but can't figure out what, do this EFT tapping video. If you want to manifest through meditation, try this video. If meditation isn't really your thing, try this reprogramming exercise. If you want to try a method you can do just before sleeping, look into my answer for this ask. Maybe you're just really overwhelmed and just want to listen to a subliminal. Maybe you would benefit from doing a challenge ( i recommend 3dolc×roe). Maybe states is the way for you, just know youre already someone who wakes up in the void and occupy that state. Go through my page or any void bloggers pages (if you're more into manifestation, i recommend @charmedreincarnation. i feel like she gives out the best advice), figure out what's going on with you and what you need to do and do it. I believe in you! 💗

#void state

[vinziel]

Concept for my own TDAU oc

May I present to you my own TDAU oc. Vinzie The Offensive Magician! (I can't draw for shit, so for now I'll just explain his design, most details in his design represent something, I'll make an official drawing of his design probably very later on) Now they're a troll with Bluish skin and darker blue hair, their blue hair is mostly covered by his magician hat! And you guessed it they wear the typical black and red magician clothing! They have bruises on their arms and a black eye on their face, with noticeable tear streaks on his cheeks. The part of their hair that isn't covered by his hat is messy and clearly hasn't been combed. Heavy eyebags. He posts on all social media platforms you can think of. Under the name of @offensive_magician_official display name being "Vinziel" his real name (no this isn't a self insert. I just used my own name because of how unique it is). He is very active on his social medias and constantly gets into dramas (on purpose of course) purposefully causing discourse.

Lore Time!! He's non-binary using He/They pronouns and is gay! Now, his parents were very absent when he was a kid, and full on abandoned him in his teens, he was treated like a ghost, no one would notice him, everyone would walk past him. Once he got on steady footing and had a sustainable job, he dated the one and only John Dory! Now John Dory was only dating Vinz to experiment if he's gay or not but it didn't even feel like Vinz was a partner to him since he was pretty much so focused on Brozone, they don't hang out or talk much and if they did John only talks about Brozone, they ended things on a sour note (Mostly on Vinz's side, John didn't feel much after the breakup), now this lead Vinz on a downward slope, no one paid attention to them, not even his ex-partner. Unlike John though their strive for fame and atteu is Self-destructive and not destructive to others.

This led Vinz to do offensive comedy using magic tricks. He'd offend EVERYONE, leftist, rightist, conservatives, the gays, the old and the young, the communist, the capitalist. Nothing was off limits for them to offend. He didn't care about the death threats, he didn't care about the harassment and assault he'd experience in the streets because someone recognized him, ATTENTION IS ATTENTION in their books. The only person keeping him from getting killed was Bruce who was in good terms with them, since whenever John would leave Vinz alone to do Brozone stuff and basically forget he's even there, Bruce would be there to keep him company. Basically he's the reason he isn't completely insane. In real life he's actually very nice and caring, though he is mentally unstable. His online personality is the one where he is offensive.(though that won't last long since his online personality will eventually consume his actual one but for now let's imagine it hasn't). For his relationships Bruce is the only person he's actually close with, and one of the only people to know him personally. (fun fact he once appeared on Satin and Chenille's show, which only lasted 3 minutes before he got kicked out due to the amount of offensive jokes he was making about the twins). In terms of love life they are single, and probably shouldn't even be in a relationship with how unstable he is. He's very good at masking what he feels which is why so many people hate him because they think he's really serious about what he says. He does have some defenders online saying "it's just a joke" or "y'all are snowflakes" the people who defend them are people who think "Joke about everything or joke about nothing" mentality. His offensiveness doesn't stop at jokes by the way. He'd actually do stuff that makes people hate him even more.

Now explaining my choices in his design. Now why a magician you may ask and not a jester or a clown. Well no explanation I just wanted them to be a magician. Their color schemes in their hat and suit are Black and Red. Red represents passion, they're passionate about what they do, he loves the attention, Black means mastery, he's able to offend anyone and anything. The tear streaks on his cheeks represent the endless crying he does off camera, the messy hair explains his messy life of being offensive to gain attention. The bruises represent the assaults and harassment he experiences on a daily basis(yes the way he offends people is JUST that bad) and sometimes it represents his own destructiveness to himself. The blue skin and hair represent his pathetic and sad life. The eyebags represent his lack of sleep thinking of new and unique offensive jokes (this guy makes the most creative offensive joke, he sometimes reuses them but it's mostly new and very creative to the point sometimes people would be more shocked than offended, when a chinese president would die he'd make a joke like "Looks like the dog had rabies").

Anyways hoped you enjoyed my little yapping session of my OC. Will probably add more lore if I think of more.

@hostilemuppet hope you enjoy :>

#trolls #troll oc

[milkymoon2483]

Flames made of Snow

Push & Pull - Episode 2 Frank Castle X Plus Size Jewish OFC

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Summary: Frank can't keep his eyes or thoughts away from you. He struggles to accept his feelings, since he thinks they are deeply wrong and he shouldn't be acting on them. You sense something is different but every time you attempt to draw closer Frank just pushes you away.

Disclaimers: 

I’m Jewish (and plus size) but I do not live in the US, so there might be some differences in the way certain things are done and some inaccuracies. My apologies. 

Yes this is self indulgent because I’m feral for this man.

I’m secular and will not be discussing Judaism in length. Will explain some basics though that are mentioned in the story.

Rating: E.18+. MINORS DNI.

Warnings: Alternating POV, age gap (legal), Mentions of alcoholism, drinking, smoking, divorce, trauma, plus size reader, insecurities, problematic relationship with food, and probably a bunch of other stuff. This is a little dark. WC: ~4300

Thank you my lovelies. @romanarose @hbc8 @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @boysddontcry @imaswellkid

Flames made of Snow

Hannah Leah Friedman. All grown up. 

Frank's eyes rested on you the moment he came into Deborah’s house. It was impossible to avoid you, shining brighter than any other person in the room, you kept circling his peripheral vision, drawing his eyes in. No teenage awkwardness clang to you, you were graceful, feminine, and Frank found it hard not to notice.

And he hated himself for it. She’s so young. Too fucking young.

He’d hoped and prayed that three years ago he imagined something that wasn’t there, instead it was now amplified tenfold.  You’d glance at him briefly, causing his gut to stir a little each time your eyes would meet.

The Unbearable weight of people's presence was getting too heavy for you to carry. The first day of the Shiva was in ‘full swing’ and Deborah’s house was buzzing with activity. According to tradition the first of kin are supposed to be in mourning, and it was other people’s job to cater to you. Deborah didn’t let that minor detail get in the way of her running around and making sure everyone was taken care of, it was obvious she wanted to keep busy. You were right behind her, refilling trays of food, loading the dishwasher and actively avoiding any old yente that would inevitably ask you about having a boyfriend, or going on a diet ‘because you're so pretty’, or both. 

Passing behind ‘The Ednas’, two of your late father’s aunts, who shared a name and an attitude, you did catch word about the ‘handsome goi’. It made you chuckle, realizing that the women in your family must have a ‘type’. 

A handsome goi indeed. 

You tried not to think about him, not to pay attention to him, focus on the fact that this is your father’s shiva and it’s clearly not a time to ogle at him. 

Dressed in a thin black sweater with the sleeves pushed up to reveal his forearms, his ridiculously toned forearms, laced with veins that ran all the way down to his large hands. He was giving you plenty not to think about.

People called your name left and right, asking questions, trying to make small talk, pushing their noses into your life and giving you unsolicited advice, making the nauseating lump in your throat grow larger. The cacophony of noises and smells and faces drowned you, each 'commiserating' hug making it harder to breathe.

“Don’t eat that, it's pure sugar” your mother noted when you attempted to take a bite from a cookie. The first bite of food you’ve had in hours. A wave of shame washed over you, just like it did when you were younger, no bite of food escaped your mother’s prodding eyes, and she didn’t spare you any commentary. This is why you preferred to eat alone. That woman took all the joy out of eating.

You rolled your eyes at her as blatantly as you could, putting the cookie down and grabbing your glass of red wine with you as you exited the room.

Fuck you, Jaqeline. 

You took your coat and silently snuck out into the back yard. 

The thin layer of snow crunched under your boots as you lit up the cigarette, inhaling deeply and allowing the nicotine buzz to dissolve the nausea, soothing your frayed nerves.

“So you smoke now?” the low grave voice called behind you, making you turn your head swiftly.

“And drink, and eat carbs, and do a bunch of other shit mother would disapprove of” you replied, the exhaustion and bitterness loosening your tongue.

"A bunch..huh" Frank chuckled at your response. “I’m gonna tell Deb” he jokingly threatened.

“Go ahead. We shared one this morning, I’m sure she’d love to take a break” you smirked, taking another puff. 

He raised his arms in defeat.

“How have you been kiddo?”

“I’m 23 Frank, not a kiddo anymore” god you hated that fucking nickname.  The sight of him was too much, too heavy for you to bear at that moment, making you bite back. 

“Ok Han, sweetheart, how are you?” he asked again, softening his voice.

“I’m fucking amazing, all things considered” tears prickled your eyes again, making them look glassy and huge.

Please don’t hug me, please don’t hug me.

Frank fought the urge to wrap you in his arms, offering instead a sterile pet on your shoulder.  Maybe coming after you was a bad idea, it probably was. It was selfish and stupid. He should have left you alone, should have let you rest from the prodding eyes of others, even his own.

He watched your plush lips, in a shade of berry, wrap around the cigarette, immediately diverting his look to his boots.

“Do you want me to go? It’s ok if you need a few minutes to yourself” he continued, hoping you’d tell him to stay.

“No Frank, I’m fine, I’m sorry.” 

“S'ok, your dad’s passed, and you weren’t super close but it still hurts.” 

“I’ll be ok, I’m just a little overwhelmed by all the living people right now” you chuckled wryly.

You stood there in silence, not an uncomfortable one. Frank's presence was surprisingly calming. Or maybe just less of a burden than anybody else's. As long as you weren't looking at him you were fine.

Frank reached out to you, plucking the cigarette out of your hand. 

He pulled his bottom lip, licking and scraping his teeth over it, and placed the lipstick-stained filter between his lips, taking a deep draw. The orange tip burned bright as your heart rate accelerated. 

"Fuck I miss this shit" he said as he returned it back to you, exhaling the thick smoke.

You gulped.

His eyes sat heavy on your face, making you self conscious. You attempted your best nonchalant smile before drawing the cigarette back into your mouth.

“What?” you finally asked, tilting your head.

“Nothin’..I better go inside” he replied before quickly going back into the house.

Frank’s gut churned. Get the fuck away from her.

*******

The day was finally over, only 6 more of them left. You turned into bed as early as you could, craving some relief from other people, cuddling up under the blanket in the cold guest room.  

The image of Frank's lips on your cigarette swirled constantly in your mind. You were seeking its meaning, like you always have, with everything he did. It was probably just as meaningless as any other gesture. 

Your phone softly pinged

21:44 Frank Hey Han, just wanted to check on you. Need anything?

21:45 Hannah Hey Frank. Sorry for the salty attitude. I'll be ok. Debs taking good care of me.

21:46 Frank youre allowed to be pissed, didnt scare me. Thanks for the smoke btw, needed that. 

21:46 Hannah I got more where that came from. Dont actually smoke, just bought one pack.

21:48 Frank Nah I think that was enough for me at my old age. 

21:49 Hannah I think youve still got a few good years in you zayde.

21:53 Frank You callin me grandpa? Ouch 

21:54 Hannah Did you google that now? 

21:54 Frank Did no such thing, meidale 

21:55 Hannah Showing off your yiddish Im impressed

21:57 Frank Thats about all I got, and the cuss words your dad taught me Gonna miss that schmuck 

21:57 Hannah Schmuck indeed Gonna miss him too

21:58 Frank Goodnight Han

22:00 Hannah Goodnight Frank 

You were thankful you were too exhausted to try and decipher the meaning of this. Frank rarely texted you, and it was always one message, letting you know some logistic detail. This was different. Or you just wanted it to be, you couldn't tell anymore. You fell asleep shortly after, too tired to dream. 

Frank attempted to convince himself this was ok. just making sure she's ok. He was being a good friend to Saul, that's all.  He didn’t cross any lines, he didn’t say or do anything inappropriate.  Every thought about how badly he wanted to hug you was pushed as far back as he could manage. The thoughts about how pretty you were, weren’t even acknowledged.

*******

When you woke up the following morning it took you a few moments to piece together the events of the previous day. It was one of those days that felt like a week. Just 24 hours ago you woke up in your dorm room and now you're here, and your father’s dead and buried. 

The realization of 6 more days of shiva hit you hard, you didn’t even know what you’d be doing after it’s over. Maybe if you went back to college you could pretend it was all a weird dream. 

But then there was Frank, and he was different, and you didn’t know what to make of it. If anything at all. 

Central heating finally made it warm enough to draw the covers back, and you dragged yourself into the kitchen to get some much needed coffee. 

Mercifully, the house was quiet and the fresh coffee pot was all yours. Everyone else was still asleep as you sipped in silence, enjoying some precious solitude before the house was filled with people again. You drew the checkered curtain back, allowing the cool winter light to pour through the kitchen window. A fresh layer of snow covered the front lawn, piling on the bulbs of the metallic menorah lawn decor, creating flames made of snow.

*******

By the 4th day of the shiva the crowd dwindled significantly, only a few 'regulars' remained, some of which you knew came for the free food. The house was filled with a constant quiet murmur, like a background noise you didn’t realize was annoying you until it has stopped. Deborah operated on what seemed like an endless source of renewable energy, while yours dissipated with each passing day. 

You’ve already admitted to yourself that you were waiting for Frank. He told you he would be able to make it again that evening, and you snuck back into the guest room to fix yourself up as discreetly as possible. Vanity had no room in the jewish shiva, you weren’t supposed to wear makeup, or change clothes, or even look at yourself in the mirror. A jewish person in mourning must immerse themselves fully in grief. But your grief was overshadowed, pushed to the side by an urge you have been suppressing for nine years. There was no logic behind your actions, yet you were compelled. 

As Frank entered the living room he found you deep behind ‘enemy lines’. 

“So Hanneleh, do you have a boyfriend back at college? No? That’s a shame.” “You know you can try the Atkins diet, I’ve lost ten pounds on it last year” “Remind me what it is you major in? Psychology? Why doncha go for something more practical like Ruthy, Moshe’s girl. She’s studying computer science”

He admired how you addressed every question with poise, seemingly unfazed by the not so subtle jabs of criticism pointed at you by the three older women that surrounded you.

“Excuse me ladies. Deb asked me to get Hannah, she’s needed in the kitchen” Frank’s voice boomed over the chatter.

You gave him the most thankful look and followed him towards the kitchen. A horrifying thought crept up on him, he would do anything for you to keep looking at him like that. 

You both slipped silently into the empty kitchen. Frank took your hand, leading you into the pantry and shut the door behind him.

He knew this was risky the moment his hand touched yours but his body acted before his damn brain had a chance to catch up.

“Shhh” he put his finger on his lips. “Be very very quiet” his impression of Elmer Fudd made you both chuckle.

“Thank you for coming to my rescue, but I would have handled that myself” You said with a slight smirk.

“I’ve always wanted to keep you safe, why stop now?” He replied quietly, in a more serious tone than he would've liked. “For the record, I think you're doing great” 

“I try” you said, looking down at your hands because you felt like holding his gaze would break you. Frank's eyes followed yours. “That’s pretty” he took your wrist in his large hand, running his thumb gently over the small rose tattoo. Heat began to pull in the apex of your thighs while your belly stirred so violently it made you nauseous.

“Thanks, that’s for grandma Rose” you carefully raised your eyes to meet his. 

You didn’t notice that you have stopped breathing altogether.

You stood there for a moment that stretched, a pregnant silence between you, pulling the blood from your head towards your gut.  The air drained out of the small space, and it was suddenly obvious how close you were standing.

The fuck are you doing Castle?…Frank scolded himself. It’s like he couldn’t help it. Knowing this was wrong didn’t make him stop. He was breaching his own boundaries, the ones he promised himself he wouldn’t. He crossed them one by one, taking little steps in your direction.

“Frank!! Did you find the dates in the pantry?” Deborah’s voice called, making you gulp for air.

“Yeah Deb, thanks” He replied loudly, before grabbing the box and gesturing you to follow him back out. 

********

By now texting with Frank at night has become a ritual, something you looked forward to at the end of each exhausting day. You'd always dance around anything too serious, too personal, too suggestive.

22:01 Frank Hey Han, good seeing you today How are you? 

22:03 Hannah Yeah, you too Im ok. Thanks again for the rescue mission They would have eventually made me lose my shit

22:04 Frank Couldve fooled me I told you dont mind em, youre doing great  And youre beautiful. 

22:05 Hannah Well youre not so bad yourself  Im not everyones cup of tea and thats ok. 

22:06 Frank I bet youre lots of peoples cup of tea trust me on that bet boys chase you all the time, maybe some girls too

22:07 Hanna

Youre gonna make me blush now And people only chase me to ask me for my class notes But youre right, its both boys and girls. 

22:08 Frank Im serious. If I was in their place Id be hogging your class notes too. 

22:10 Hannah Well I guess sometimes its not that simple But thanks. 

22:11 Frank You know I mean it

22:11 Hannah well now i AM blushing

22:13 Frank Im going to shower and head to bed. Goodnight Han. 

22:14 Hannah Goodnight Frank.

Every breach of the invisible border around what you both avoided was met with the same response. Was he trying to let you down gently? Were you reading him all wrong? Would there come a time when he didn't stop you? 

You sighed heavily. A mixture of arousal and defeat pooled in your gut.  The thought of him in the shower, the hot water pouring down his muscular back, the scent of his soap, you could almost smell it, almost feel it on the tips of your fingers.  "Show me..show me how you touch yourself baby" you imagined his deep voice rumble through your body, the ghost of his hot breath in your ear. "That’s right…make yourself feel good, pretty girl" 

A pathetic old man lurking around a young girl's social media like a goddamn creep. That's what he was. His long forgotten instagram account was being put into use in the most fowl way. The content was relatively tame for what he imagined girls your age posting. You looked different in the pictures, happier, carefree. Your life seemed full, and fun, and you seemed to fit right in it.  His eyes lingered on the short video of you dancing, the skirt of your floral dress swirled around your legs, soft curves swaying to the music, laughter bubbling, face flushed from the heat.

He imagined peeling that dress off, the scent of your sweat and perfume clinging to your dampened skin, the pads of his fingers digging into your soft flesh, you calling his name, pleading for him to touch you. His cock twitched in interest at the thought, Frank pressed on it with the heel of his palm, feeling the familiar spark of pleasure begin to skittle along his abdomen.

Fuckfuckfuck no…no.

He took a deep breath, clearing his mind of any thoughts of you, and your sweet smile, and your lovely smell, and your plush body. Fuck you looked so soft. He would not be touching himself with you still clinging to his memory. He was determined to do right by you, by your father. It didn’t matter what he wanted, or what you thought you wanted.

********

He didn’t plan on coming to the shiva again, staying away from you was the main objective, but when Deb called asking him for help he couldn’t refuse. He attempted to mentally prepare himself to face you, but when you greeted him at the door his resolve crumbled. 

"Heya” you smiled brightly at him, embracing him with one arm while holding a pile of napkins in the other.

He’d been fighting with himself on this for days, and he kept losing. Maybe he was tired of fighting, so when you asked him to give you a ride back to your dad’s house, he happily agreed.

The day was finally over. It was finally done. You breathed a deep sigh of relief as the burden slowly began to lift.

Your head throbbed as Frank loaded your luggage into his truck. You needed to think, to process this on your own, to sit with yourself in silence and figure out your next moves. 

“You sure you wanna be in that old house all alone honey? Maybe stay a few more days with us” Deborah kept insisting and you loved her for it, but after seven days of constantly being around other people you just craved some solitude.

“Thanks Deb but I’ll be fine. I really need to clear some stuff out of the house, and if anything happens Frank is just across the street” you answered, hoping she would finally let you go.

Frank drove in silence, the radio played faintly in the background, it was just enough to steer your stream of consciousness towards the music, but not enough to bother you. “Fields of gold”...you always did love that song.

You barely stole looks his way, his profile was striking, sharp cheekbones, strong jawline, and the slope of that dramatic nose you adored. The eyes that seemed sharp and solely focused on the road ahead, averted straight towards you as soon as the car stopped at the red light. They were deep, soft, empathetic. The corners of his mouth lifted only slightly, but his eyes creased nonetheless.

He wanted so badly to lay his hand on your thigh, let the warmth of it seep through your tights. Offer you some comfort, a strong wall to lean against. Whatever that other feeling that stirred inside of him was, it never dulled his need to protect you.

It was surreal, driving up to your father’s house. The pale blue two story looked just like you remembered it. You walked up the snow covered trail to the front door, suddenly dreading what you’ll find inside.

It was the smell that hit you first, bringing that familiar nervous energy you always had walking in there, not knowing what version of your father you’re going to meet.

His black coffee cup was still sitting on the kitchen table, contents molded and disgusting. His robe hung on the recliner, next to a paper that was barely two weeks old. The scene was tragic in it’s simplicity.

Just two weeks ago he was here, very much alive, maybe he waited for you to come visit. Maybe he wanted to call or text, maybe he was getting worse and he thought he couldn't burden you with that.

Tears began to blur your vision, as your chest caved in at the sight of your father’s empty home.

Frank had carried your suitcase straight upstairs to your bedroom. When he went back down he found you in tears. He ran towards you, and as his arms wrapped tightly around you, some deep voice inside of him whispered finally. He banished the selfish beast, quickly returning his focus back to you. But you were soft, just like he imagined you’d be. Soft and warm and lovely. You fit in his arms perfectly.

“Shh…Hannah, sweetheart…it’s ok.” He spoke quietly, running his heavy hands on your hair.

”Fuck Frank, he was all alone..I was such a dick to him at the end” you sobbed, smearing your tears on his sweatshirt.

“No, no. It’s been so hard on you. None of this is your fault” Frank cooed.

“I knew he had problems, I knew he was sick, I should have done more, I should have been there for him instead of running away like an asshole” you kept scolding yourself through your tears as the remorse flooded you.

He ran soothing circles on your back, pulling you closer to his warmth, wrapping you in his solid embrace. You were suddenly aware of every part of your body that was pressing against his. He smelled like his cologne, and trees, and leather, and the winter breeze that bit your face. You remained nuzzled into his chest until your tears began to subside.

“Sweetheart, Han, look at me” he begged and you lifted your head, wiping your tears with your sleeves.

His large palms engulfed your face, all red and puffy, as he ran two thumbs under your closed eyes. “Look at me please” he asked again, and you opened your eyes slowly, afraid that the eye contact would make you burst into tears again.

His eyes were so soft when he spoke.  “Absolutely none of this is your fault. Do not blame yourself on a lifetime of his bad decisions. He loved you, as well as he could. Please just try to forgive him and don’t blame yourself, Ok?” 

“Ok” you replied almost silently.

“Ok” He mirrored your voice. 

He placed a gentle kiss on your forehead, his lips lingered as he drew a deep breath in, inhaling your scent. This was the closest you have ever been, and the proximity made your head spin. Heat drizzled in the apex of your thighs, a mixture of sadness and longing and want. 

He broke off the kiss, only to lean his forehead on yours, sliding his palms slowly towards your neck. You could feel the ghost of his breath, getting progressively heavier and synchronizing with yours, as you began to slowly tilt your head upwards, bringing your lips closer to his.  His thumb swiped on your cheek, tugging the very edge of your mouth in a motion so gentle it could be mistaken for being unintentional.

Except it wasn’t. 

It would be so easy to press his mouth on yours, to taste your lovely lips. He would never dare do that.

"I better go" he rasped, laying one palm on your shoulder.

He gathered every morsel of self control in his possession to make himself stop. 

You backed off slowly, turning towards the kitchen to wash your face and salvage a modicum of your dignity, the sting of rejection bringing another wave of tears to your eyes. 

“Yeah, thanks Frank. I think…I think I’ll be fine. I’m just so tired” you sniffled. You desperately wanted him to leave, so you could cry again, cry to your heart's content. You wanted to feel the vines of pain that wrapped themselves around your chest, constricting your breath.

“S’ok Han, I know you’ll be ok. Please text me if you need anything, I’ll be home” He smiled back at you. 

Frank closed the door behind him with a heavy sigh. You’d be just across the road, yet so far away. He wanted to stay, to comfort you, to make you forget all about it, to kiss you long and deep. 

But he knew himself too well, he knew he had a tendency of trying to save people that didn't ask for it, and it usually backfired spectacularly.

So fucking selfish and stupid, Castle. So goddamn pretentious of you to think that you can somehow fix this, that you can somehow 'save' her. She doesn’t need you. And you sure as hell can’t ‘fix’ her drunk dead daddy for her.

To your surprise, the dam didn't break and the tears didn't come. Drained and emotionless, you sat there for a while, staring at the living room that still contained so much evidence of life. A small sad life. 

Your eyes were drawn to a picture of you and your dad, right after your bat-mitzvah ceremony. You had just begun speaking again and he was thrilled to be invited. You looked almost normal, just a grumpy teenager in an ill-fitting blue dress and her dad, beaming with pride, with his arm wrapped around her shoulder. 

Exhaustion settled in your bones, the full weight of the past week and the tasks ahead laid heavy on you. 

When Frank texted an hour later you were already asleep.

22:12 Frank Hey Han. You feeling better?

22:48 Frank Goodnight sweetheart

It’s been more than thirteen years since Frank’s last drink, and he didn’t remember missing it as much as he did tonight. He had failed. He had failed Saul and he had failed you. Wanting you had only made it so much worse. He was undeserving of you, regardless of your age, that was just a small part of the million different reasons he could not allow this. 

Guilt ate away at him slowly, bit by bit, and there was nothing he could do to numb the pain.

He hadn’t told you yet, because your father asked him not to, but eventually he will have to. He knew he would have to confess his sins, and that look in your eyes, that lovely thankful look, it would be gone.

FIN.

#frank castle #frank castle x female reader #frank castle angst #jon bernthal #jewish representation #jewish reader #x plus size reader #original character

[a-god-in-ruins-rises]

Hello. simply, I am wondering what you believe is the best solution towards preventing gun violence within schools. Not an anti 2A questioner - guns are good and necessary. Nonetheless, the plague of these shootings has got to go..

i answered a similar question like a week ago but i was in a rush so i wasn't able to answer it thoughtfully enough. so i'll answer again.

second, somehow get the media to stop sensationalizing school shooters. i don't know exactly how this would be done because of the first amendment but i'm sure we could figure out something. even if it's just some industry wide self-regulation or something.

i think these two things would have the largest effect /directly/.

however, i believe that school shootings (and mass shootings in general) are really symptoms of a much larger issue: moral and social decay. and i can't take anyone seriously who doesn't take /that/ issue seriously. because without addressing that you're only addressing the symptoms, not the disease itself.

moral decay sounds ambiguous but you know what i mean. everyone knows what it means. it's shorthand for how disconnected, nihilistic, and narcissistic our society has become. we are more isolated and atomized than ever. we have no social trust. no community. wealth inequality. a mental health crisis. criminals walking our streets. families are broken. no one believes in anything. our media glorifies materialistic greed and self-indulgence.

then we act surprised when our society produces broken people full of rage and resentment?

so, some things that could help the /real/ issue which might help the issue of school shootings /indirectly/:

build denser, walkable communities. increase policing and get tough on crime -- clean up communities. invest in mental healthcare (this includes increasing funding for schools to hiring social workers). universal healthcare in general tbh. create a new type of "family planning" that emphasizes making families and making them work (financial resources, discounts on recreational activities, marriage counseling, parent-child counseling, etc). universal basic income. honestly, we should probably start censoring our media again (nothing too draconian but there should be /some/ standard). immigration control (i know the libs hate to hear it but ethnic diversity is negatively correlated with social trust). tax reform. land reform. education reform (more civic and patriotic oriented and also more emphasis on extracurricular activities and community-building). make my cult the state religion (i'm mostly memeing here but i do sincerely believe america is in desperate need of a new post-christian religious awakening). protectionism (bring back jobs that pay well).

first, it's important to note a few things.

most mass shootings are not school shootings but gang-related. school shootings are extremely rare statistical outliers -- you're about as likely to be killed in a school shooting as you are to be killed by lightning. guns used to be more accessible and there were virtually never any school shootings until recently. it seems clear to me that this is some type of social contagion more than anything.

none of this is to say that mass shootings aren't an issue or that we shouldn't try to mitigate them. the point is, this is a sudden and relatively recent phenomenon and, while tragic, it is not something to lose our minds over. if you're paranoid about school shootings you need to ask yourself why you're not also paranoid about lightning or cars or plane crashes or random animal attacks. and if you /are/ paranoid about those things then maybe you're just an anxious person and should probably seek therapy.

we can't live in fear. speaking of alcohol, alcohol causes a lot of harm. but we, as americans, have decided that it's worth the risks. that there is some inherent /good/ in having access to alcohol. that the benefits of having access to alcohol outweigh the harm it causes. we are a free people. and freedom is dangerous. there is more to life than maximizing "harm reduction."

but now for some possible mitigating solutions

first, we need to secure our schools the same way we secure our courthouses or airports. our schools are just as important as these institutions and we should protect them as such. this should be the bare minimum standard.

second, somehow get the media to stop sensationalizing school shooters. i don't know exactly how this would be done because of the first amendment but i'm sure we could figure out something. even if it's just some industry wide self-regulation or something. but getting them to stop plastering the names/faces of the shooters everywhere and publishing their "manifestos" and all that would go a long way.

i think these two things would have the largest effect /directly/.

however, i believe that school shootings (and mass shootings in general) are really symptoms of a much larger issue: moral and social decay. and i can't take anyone seriously who doesn't take /that/ issue seriously. because without addressing that you're only addressing the symptoms, not the disease itself.

moral decay sounds ambiguous but you know what i mean. everyone knows what it means. it's shorthand for how disconnected, nihilistic, and narcissistic our society has become. we are more isolated and atomized than ever. we have no social trust. no community. wealth inequality. a mental health crisis. criminals walking our streets. families are broken. no one believes in anything. our media glorifies materialistic greed and self-indulgence.

then we act surprised when our society produces broken people full of rage and resentment? i've heard someone describe it as a "slow motion riot" and riots are the voice of the unheard. well, our society is sick and disconnected so there are more "unheard" than ever.

so, some things that could help the /real/ issue which might help the issue of school shootings /indirectly/:

build denser, walkable communities. increase policing and get tough on crime -- clean up communities. invest in mental healthcare (this includes increasing funding for schools to hiring social workers). universal healthcare in general tbh. create a new type of "family planning" that emphasizes making families and making them work (financial resources, discounts on recreational activities, marriage counseling, parent-child counseling, etc). universal basic income. honestly, we should probably start censoring our media again (nothing too draconian but there should be /some/ standard). immigration control (i know the libs hate to hear it but ethnic diversity is negatively correlated with social trust). tax reform. land reform. education reform (more civic and patriotic oriented and also more emphasis on extracurricular activities and community-building). make my cult the state religion (i'm mostly memeing here but i do sincerely believe america is in desperate need of a new post-christian religious awakening). institute a new militia system (kinda memeing but also serious). protectionism (bring back jobs that pay well).

basically just reform society bro. our society is deeply sick and requires some pretty fundamental change.

#until then all we can do is mitigate school shootings how i mentioned above #otherwise we just have to accept them as an inevitable but unpredictable part of life

[offtorivendell]

Azriel will train Elain in self-defence; a theory cum headcanon

Please don't share or screenshot this post without credit.

Disclaimer: rude double entendres above and below, mature/NSFW themes and quotes are shown and discussed; 18+ only.

One thing we've learnt over the course of the ACOTAR series is that the Bat Bros consider it imperative that their loved ones are capable of defending themselves from danger when required.

Rhys, Cassian and Azriel all trained Mor in the basics themselves, before she travelled abroad and learnt more.

They were all involved in different aspects of Feyre’s training, both magical and physical.

Cassian and Azriel were behind Nesta’s initial fitness work, then her training to become a Valkyrie. Cassian also gave Nesta a dagger, along with a few quick pointers, in ACOWAR.

This leaves us with Elain Archeron who, while she is yet to train - at least openly, for the reader to see - was handed the dagger Truth-Teller, by Azriel, in ACOWAR, and during ACOSF was noted as likely having received some sort of stealth training from either Azriel, or Nuala and Cerridwen, as well as actively planning to reacquaint herself with her powers.

How far has she got with all of that? We'll have to wait for her book to find out, but I do have a theory...

While a good spy (of which there are more varieties than just those who wear black and sneak around stealing items of national importance) shouldn't get caught - hence it's significant that Elain is noted as both possibly having lessons in stealth, and successfully sneaking up on multiple family members - they should be able to escape potentially risky situations, either through use of their charm, wit and wisdom or, if all else fails, physical and/or magical self defence.

This isn't exactly an 'Elain will be a spy' post, though I do think it likely she will become involved with the Night Court’s intelligence work in some capacity, but to do that, she will most likely still need to learn how to defend herself, so... this is a prediction post, with a side of headcanon, as to how Elain will learn to fight in close quarters.

Roses grow thorns, afterall.

Azriel, who hates hand-to-hand combat - and the inevitable face full of someone else's sweat - will train Elain Archeron in self defence (and probably enjoy it).

The scene below appears to hold a hint of foreshadowing:

Not only did we learn that Azriel prefers "swordplay" over hand-to-hand combat - though Nesta and Cassian already used that joke in ACOSF - we also learnt the reason why: Az doesn't like getting a "face full" of someone else's sweat. Additionally, and most of all, importantly, Elain was conspicuously left unmentioned by Cassian, when he remembered Feyre’s initial hesitance around Azriel, when compared to Nesta, which leads me to believe that she never was; this fits in with what we saw of their first meeting in the human lands (ACOMAF), when Feyre noted Elain finding reassurance and comfort in Azriel's actions.

So, I posit to you that the last Archeron sister to be trained in physical defence will be taught by Azriel himself (potentially with help from Nuala and Cerridwen), who, coincidentally, won't mind getting a face full of her, sweat or otherwise. His bonus chapter proved that beyond a shadow of a doubt.

Look at the parallels between the two scenes:

"Hand to hand" vs "hand to fist."

Azriel was more than happy to let Elain get too close/so close.

Something was to his taste/he wanted a taste of something.

Mentions of his eyes rolling back.

Elain "made no move to leave," whereas most people "run from" Azriel's stillness.

Of course, that could all be coincidental, but I find it interesting that yet another scene with Azriel, especially one that noted a specific aspect of his character and history, has ties to his bonus chapter with Elain.

Now for a quickie Elriel training headcanon...

Azriel: Pins Elain to the wall, smirks. "Get me off, then we can break for a drink and a snack."

Elain: Smiles sweetly, licks Az's neck, lightly touches his wing.

Azriel: Eyes closed, fists clenching either side of Elain’s head. "Not what I meant, but okay." Picks Elain up and winnows into the shadows.

Link to the headcanon posted separately.

*

If you enjoyed this, please consider reblogging. 💜

#elriel #pro elriel #elain archeron #azriel shadowsinger #pro elain #pro azriel #spy elain #death and his lovely fawn #fanged beast and trembling fawn #acotar #acosf #acotar theory #acotar headcanon #acotar 5 predictions #azriel theory #elain theory #elriel theory #azlain #spy couple

[colourful-void]

Supporting Satoshi - an examination and comparison of JN36 and XY121

Part One: Snowballs do not cure depression but it was worth a shot

You know that episode of Pokemon where a gym leader beats Satoshi in a battle so hard that one of his pokemon gets mildly hurt (though there's no long term effects) and because of it he becomes depressed, closing himself off from his friends before someone comes along to pull him out of that mental state, and also severe weather phenomena is involved and a reflection of a persons mental state? Or rather, the two episodes?

So when I was watching Journeys, I noticed an episode that had a similar-- but distinctly different-- plot to an xy episode I had seen before. And what was particularly interesting was that while I couldn't stand the xy episode, the journeys episode was one of my favourites. I won't drag this out for you guys, I love the journeys episode and re watch it a LOT and the xy episode sort of just leaves me with a sour taste in my mouth. and don't go claiming its solely ship bias, because i saw the xy episode first and disliked it then.

This will analyze both of these episodes, comparing them against each other. Specifically within the context of how Goh and Serena both help Satoshi through a similar situation There will be some discussion of AmourShipping and Satogou in this analysis. I'm going to be a bit negative regarding Serena's actions and the potential "romantic" weight of them here, but I want to be clear that I Do Not dislike Serena as a character. Personally, I wish the writers had given her more room to grow outside of her romantic interests, but I do not hate Serena as a character. I do, however, disagree with her actions in this episode. Please don't take this out of context and dont be ship fighting in the comments, it's boring. This is a comparison of These Two Episodes, not of Goh and Serena and their respective ships as a whole.

This part mainly focuses on the xy episode and the second will focus mainly on the journeys. It's only divided into parts because of the tumblr post limit.

(If you like the xy episode or hate the journeys episode, awesome! having your own opinions is great. these are mine though, so i hope you'll listen to them)

With that out of the way, let's start. And I'm going to use mostly japanese names here because I'm taking screencaps from the subbed japanese copies.

The set up for each of these episodes is eerily similar as pointed out in the gag at the start.

Xy has a bit more set up before the episode in question though, with the initial loss and retreat into the forest by Satoshi taking place the episode before. The episode opens up proper with Satoshi taking time to breathe to himself, alone in the forest.

Emphasis is placed on him taking a deep breath, aided by the visuals showing them (thanks cold air) and the silence of the rest of the soundscape, with the only other sounds being the wind and some bird pokemon, plus some falling snow.

Journeys Satoshi starts off in a better mental state than Xy, with the episode starting off with him jogging along with his pokemon.

However, we can still see that he's been affected by the last battle he lost, against Saitou, as he's putting a lot of effort into training and doing better.

Which, doesn't go well for him, as he loses his next two battles as well, and drops in the World Championship ranking as a result

And he's pretty upset about it too. Same thing as over in xy. In both cases, a respective friend/love interest notes that Satoshi is upset and expresses concern.

He's got support from his friends in both situations! But that support comes across in very different ways.

But, to understand how that support manages to affect Satoshi, we need to understand the problem at play.

Now, I wanna make something clear here. Satoshi's problem is not that he is a sore loser. I'm not arguing that's not a contributing factor, or that he's not upset about the loss (particularly in the world championships), He's still bitter about the lost part, but the root of the problem is not losing, he's been shown to be fine with losing (if not a bit more motivated to win now) in prior episodes.

Satoshi's problem is that his pokemon are getting hurt. Satoshi's problem is that his pokemon are getting hurt, because they're losing battles. Satoshi's problem is that his pokemon are losing battles because he's not training them well enough. And to clarify, that's not my viewpoint, it's his. Satoshi's problem is that he's not good enough for himself, and he feels that that's something he has to fix on his own.

So how do we help him?

Our weather event in question is introduced in separate points in the episodes, but I'll cover them both now.

In xy, it's this snowstorm, which conveniently becomes a problem directly after Serena returns to the Pokemon Centre.

In journeys, it's a sandstorm! That's in near direct contrast to a snowstorm! Incredible.

Heading back to xy Satoshi, things aren't going great in the forest. Luckily, Serena's run off to find him.

I think it's of note here that Serena runs off with the best intentions, she wants to help Satoshi, plain and simple. It just sort of goes wrong along the way.

It's worth noting that Xy Satoshi tries to bring himself out of being sad by the tried and true method of "stop being sad"

Despite telling himself this, he doesn't get anywhere. Which makes sense, because it's not getting the the root of the problem. It's not even addressing it at all. He's just trying to 'be better', which isn't even a battle strategy. However, it is something I can see him saying, so this isn't a critique of Satoshi's thought process, but me pointing out that this isn't really effective. Which is supported by the narrative, because again, he doesn't get anywhere, he doesn't even move.

I can't show it in screencaps but the lights in Satoshi's eyes are shaking here, something that they consistently do throughout the series when he's feeling a particularly strong emotion. Keep that in mind. It couples well with another trait of his, and that's his hat!

And by that I mean how he hides his eyes with the brim of it when upset, something he does exactly as Serena shows up and calls out to him. Now, he's not upset that Serena is here. He's upset about the pokemon stuff still. He's trying to hide the fact that he's upset from Serena.

Serena starts off with her speech well, trying to appeal to Satoshi to let her in and talk things out. And maybe it's because he wasn't ready for it yet, or because of the way she phrases it (a lot of 'i' and 'me' language which can be helpful but can also come across as though she's making it about her. not her intent i don't think, but a possible interpretation.), it's not her fault for how Satoshi reacts regardless.

But how Satoshi reacts is not good.

Now it's really interesting to note that before this, Serena was standing while Satoshi was sitting, putting her above him in terms of active power, when it comes to how the shot is presented, but when Satoshi stands up, the camera tilts with the movement so that they're on equal level. Neat!

And Serena yells in return, scolding Satoshi for not talking about it. Not the best move, since pushing someone to talk about something that's upsetting them isn't really productive, but she's trying here and she's frustrated.

Satoshi continues to withdraw and self isolate, claiming it is his problem and that he wants to be left be. Now, this is the mindset of a clearly upset person and isolation may not be the best option, but he did make the explicit request to be left alone here.

He's clearly upset as he turns away from Serena's eye and slumps over a little.

And then Serena throws a snowball at him.

Angry as he is, you can see Satoshi's expression change when he sees Serena's reaction.

Serena tells Satoshi that she's not like the Satoshi she knows, who is always full of energy and positive and a leader, and a bunch of other positive traits. The problem here, is that Serena's looking at an idealized version of Satoshi. And while the intent here was probably meant to be something more like "you have so many wonderful traits about you I know you can do this", coupled with the snowballs and the phrasing, it seems as though Serena is scolding Satoshi for being sad.

Or rather, being angry with him for not living up to her idealized version of him, and not wanting him to express any negitave emotions.

Which is sort of a really bad mindset.

The snowballs continue, never once does Satoshi fight back. In fact, he stops arguing entirely after the first one. Serena knocks him off his feet and tells him he's not being himself, before running off. (In the english dub, Serena claims that Satoshi isn't being "the real satoshi" and then demands that the real Satoshi be "given back", so it could be worse)

Satoshi decides to literally run his problems away, because it will help him reach some kind of conclusion, and immediately trips and falls down a large hill. No, I'm not making that up. Something like this just isn't like him. He's just gotta stop being sad!

Now personally, I really disagree with the idea that "being upset" isn't "like a person". That's because based off of my own experiences, I know it can be really damaging to hold the mindset that any negative emotions you feel aren't a part of you and that you shouldn't be upset because you're usually a positive and happy person. Not the case with every person, but I personally really have a problem with shows telling children that they just shouldn't be upset instead of processing their emotions in a meaningful way. (The journeys episode doesn't do an outstanding job of it either, but this is a bit of a tangent anyway. A show that does do this right is "OK KO! Let's be Heroes" which actually deals with this problem in greater depth and does a fantastic job of it.)

But the snowball scene ends here. Now I'll get back to Journeys in a moment, but since Serena has finished her part of the comparison for the most part, I'm going to summarize a bit more of the xy episode.

Satoshi decides to literally run his problems away, because it will help him reach some kind of conclusion, and immediately trips and falls down a large hill. No, I'm not making that up.

The snowstorm kicks in, Serena get back annoyed, then similarly groans and yells, and the whole xy gang + pokemon go running off in search of Satoshi. Pikachu appears the most concerned.

Now Serena tells the others she lost her cool and said something horrible to Satoshi, but explains its because Satoshi is someone she admires. Cool motive, I get it, still kinda bad.

and in the end, it's not Serena's words that get he message across to Satoshi. The solution to this problem was Satoshi finding a way to reaffirm his abilities and instinct.

In the xy episode, he helps some pokemon out of the tree, and when his very cool frog friend shows up, they're able to work together with their bond to save this one from falling off a cliff.

Here's the point. Satoshi learns by doing, by actions. He needs to see first hand that there are ways of getting past his problems, and that it's worth having the courage to keep going. The lesson is about valuing pokemon as equals and partners, and specifically that trying to be better as the trainer alone isn't going to help.

This is essentially where this plot line ends, team rocket is there for a bit as well but as much as i love them they're not relevant here, and some fun stuff with the league, love it not important right now its like 3am and I'm not sleeping until this is finished so we gotta keep things moving.

This was no doubt Serena's intent to get a similar point, but she goes about it the wrong way. She tries to convey this with words, as conversation and motivational words have helped her in the past (Elle's words of praise stick with her, Satoshi's words from when they were kids, etc). It's a good idea, but their different ways of learning and growing from a similar situation are incompatible, and that's why things don't work out in Serena's favour. There's also still the problem of "pulling yourself together" not being helpful in this case.

There's also a very similar line in this scene to the one at the end of the journeys episode, as Satoshi says to his frog that they should start over from scratch. It's essentially the same phrase with different wording. It's great. The Storm ends as he realizes this as well! Wonderful in terms of pathetic fallacy.

The gang all reunites, its nice. Satoshi thanks Serena for what she said after apologizing to everyone, which contradicts what he said earlier but I've already established that I dislike this message here so I won't go over it too much. I guess he's right in a literal sense in that in response to her words he went and ran until he tripped off a cliff but the emotional growth here was because of his own actions (and the frogs), not Serena's. Sorry Serena, you'll get em next time.

This is essentially where this plot line ends, team rocket is there for a bit as well but as much as i love them they're not relevant here, and some fun stuff with the league, love it not important right now its like 3am as I write this so we gotta keep things moving.

So. What about Goh?

Well...

(Part Two here on account of image limit!!)

#pokemon #anipoke #pokeani #pokemon analysis #pokemon xy #pokemon xyz #trainer ash #trainer serena #trainer goh #i dont wanna use the amourshipping tag to put negtivity in it that seems mean #analysis #this was written in the 2-3am area but the next part was written 12 hours later so thats a neat fact #long post

[rovelae]

Why Saiouma isn’t toxic

(CW: in-depth discussion of abuse, discussion of rape/noncon)

           Disclaimer(s): This is an intellectual discussion, not a screaming match. If you’re here to argue with facts and evidence, I don’t mind debating with you. If you just want to throw a tantrum because I like something you don’t, I’m going to tell you to take a Xanax and go to bed.

           I’m combining the terms “toxic” and “abusive”; though they aren’t technically the exact same, they’re similar enough for the purposes of this essay.

           This essay isn’t meant to convince you to ship Saiou. If you don’t like it, you don’t like it. But it’s not right to scream ‘abuse’ where none exists; it hurts fans and content creators, and it “diminishes the importance of that word and it reduces [it] to something volatile and stupid.”

           To begin with, we have to identify what makes a relationship abusive. The way I define it, an abusive relationship involves manipulation, an inherent power imbalance, and/or physical or sexual abuse. Most of the hate-posts I’ve seen paint Kokichi as the abuser and Shuichi as the hapless victim, so that will be the focus of this essay.

1. Would Kokichi manipulate Shuichi for personal gain?

           There’s no denying that Kokichi is a manipulative person. He’s a liar and he did some awful things in the game. No one’s saying he’s a morally white character. But it would be wrong to say he’s entirely evil, either.

           I’ve already covered in this post why Kokichi can’t be said to lie for personal gain, but I’ll quote a bit of it here.

           “The motivation [behind Kokichi’s lies] isn’t self-serving—he’s motivated by a desire to end a death game and stop anyone from having to go through what he and his friends have ever again. The smaller lies, though, like lying about his favorite foods? It would be annoying to be tricked like that, but it’s way too much of a stretch to label it psychological abuse.”

           We know that Kokichi’s DICE organization has a moral taboo against murder. We know he hated the killing game, to the point where he orchestrated his own suicide in order to ruin it. And almost every time Kokichi lies in the class trials, it’s either for comedic relief or to push the cast toward finding the culprit.

           “But Chapter 4!” you protest. “Kokichi manipulated Gonta into killing Miu!”

           My response is threefold:

-        Miu started it. Kokichi wouldn’t have done anything at all if his life wasn’t in danger and he wasn’t desperate.

-        It’s wrong to think that Gonta is incapable of making his own decisions. Kokichi may have influenced him in that direction, but Gonta actively made the choice to kill Miu—his own avatar confirms it at the end of the trial. (See also: Impytricky’s “Gonta Gokuhara Character Analysis: When a Genius is Treated like a Child”)

-        Kokichi felt terrible about what happened in Trial 4, to the point where he begged Monokuma to execute him along with Gonta. He didn’t need to do that, and it throws off his whole “I’m the mastermind” act just a few lines later, so we must assume he was being honest about that. It’s clear that he doesn’t enjoy hurting others.

           If that’s still not enough for you, consider: desperation, and, by extension, the killing game, brings out the worst in people. We can’t accurately judge a person’s character if all we have to go off of is the worst parts of them. Would Leon have killed Sayaka outside of the killing game? Would Hifumi have agreed to help Celestia kill Taka? Would Gundham have killed Nekomaru?

           So, would Kokichi manipulate Shuichi for personal gain? No. His whole character is motivated by a desire to help the others, and his lies are either manifestations of that motivation or harmless pranks meant to entertain.

2. Does the Saiouma ship have an inherent power imbalance?

           Shuichi is, by his own admission, weak. Kokichi has a strong personality and likes to be in charge. That doesn’t mean that Kokichi doesn’t respect Shuichi and his opinions. In fact, each class trial is packed with evidence of Kokichi listening to Shuichi’s point of view and respecting his intelligence. For instance:

-        Kokichi sided with Shuichi during scrum debates 2, 3, and 4

-        Kokichi pointed out most of Shuichi’s lies during the trials (and back routes), but in most cases, didn’t fight him on it

-        Shuichi is the only character identified as “trustworthy” by the white board in Kokichi’s room—i.e., Kokichi trusted him to at least be on the right track in the trials.

           Kokichi is also shown to care about Shuichi’s feelings in the game, like when he told him he’d rather bring Kaede back to life in Chapter 3, because it would make Shuichi happy. To reiterate: he wants Shuichi to be happy even if it means they don’t end up together. That says a lot.

           Additionally, I already mentioned that Shuichi is weak, but it’s important to realize that he isn’t so much of a pushover that he’s entirely incapable of standing up for himself. Look at his interactions with Miu, for example: he sharply told her that “I can wear a hat if I want” when she made fun of him for it, and in her FTEs, he refuses to eat the hygienically questionable food she made for him.

           Shuichi’s kind of a simp and tends to get roped into things, yes. But he’s able to stand up for himself—especially after Chapter 6—to the point where he wouldn’t enter into a relationship unless he wanted to. If you think Kokichi would somehow be able to force Shuichi to be his boyfriend, you have no faith in Shuichi—and Chapter 6 proves you wrong.

           So, is Saiouma inherently imbalanced? No. Kokichi respects Shuichi’s feelngs, intelligence, and opinions, and Shuichi’s a stronger character than he’s given credit for.

3. Would Kokichi physically or sexually abuse Shuichi?

           One needs only to look at Kokichi’s Love Hotel event for the answer. While the Love Hotel isn’t canon to the game’s timeline, the characters are still in character— that is, Kokichi and Shuichi are acting as they normally act.

           It’s important to note that Kokichi is the only character who backed off of Shuichi after Shuichi either appeared visibly uncomfortable or told them to stop. Kaede asked for Shuichi’s consent and was given it; Angie, Himiko, Kiyo, Miu, and Tsumugi all took advantage of Shuichi in some way or another; and the rest just didn’t have sexual connotations. Kokichi made advances on Shuichi, noticed that Shuichi was uncomfortable, and immediately backed off.

           “But wait!” you cry. “Just because one character didn’t rape the other doesn’t mean they have a good relationship!”

           Of course, and that’s important to realize, too. But recall that the purpose of this essay isn’t to convince you to ship Saiouma—it’s to prove that it isn’t abusive.

           Keep in mind that this was Kokichi’s fantasy— he would have been able to do whatever he wanted to Shuichi with zero repercussions, and Shuichi probably wouldn’t even remember much when he woke up. And still, Kokichi chose to stop the moment he realized Shuichi wasn’t on board with what was happening. That says a lot.

           And what about outside the game? We know from the Salmon Mode ending that Kokichi is desperate for someone to “figure him out.” He’d be very careful not to jeopardize his relationship with someone who genuinely wants to understand him.

           And Shuichi does genuinely want to understand him:

           So, would Kokichi physically or sexually abuse Shuichi? No. It’s just not in his character.

“But what if Kokichi was lying about EVERYTHING IN THE WHOLE GAME?” you yell. “There’s no way we can trust anything he’s ever said ever!”

           If every Danganronpa character was polite, kind, open, and honest, 100% of the time without fail, the game would be incredibly boring. If that’s the kind of media you’re into, I’d recommend something like Reader Rabbit or Winnie the Pooh. Danganronpa is a murder mystery, where characters hurt and betray and lie and actually kill each other. You can’t trust anyone; that’s the whole point.

           So I advise you to go back through the game with an open mind and try, actually try, to use reading comprehension skills to understand the characters. Examine their motives, think about what they might be feeling when they make the decisions they do.

           Danganronpa is not the kind of game to spoon-feed you easy-to-swallow characters. You have to pick them apart yourself.

           As for everything Kokichi has ever said possibly being a lie? Maybe. Maybe every character is lying to you. But if you hate Kokichi just because he’s dishonest, then it follows that you have to hate Rantaro, Kaede, Shuichi, Kaito, Maki, Himiko, Kiyo, Miu, Tsumugi, Kirumi, and Kiibo—which, at that point, why are you even a fan of the game?

           And if you deny everything Kokichi said just because you think it’s a lie…

 In conclusion

           You can dislike Saiouma because it’s not your thing, but it’s wrong to spread hate over abuse that doesn’t exist. Hating and attacking people for having a different opinion than you won't magically sway them to your side. If you can't articulate your points in a way that doesn't antagonize, you probably shouldn't be talking. People like what they like for a reason, and spitting on what they like won't make you any friends.

           And throwing around weighted terms like “toxic” when you just don’t like something? That makes YOU the toxic one.

#Rov talks #a lot #Saiouma #abuse mention #rape mention #character analysis #I doubt that the people who *should* read this *will* read it #so this might be more of a vent I guess #Feel free to reblog/quote/repost with credit #References: users oumakokichi; impytricky; and chibigaia-art #The first two do great meta pieces #and the last spits more fax than an office

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom, season 3 episodes 3-6 thoughts!

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-johnny was actually pretty civil with danny and left when he asked! thats nice. also, SKULKER?? HAD A FRAMED PICTURE OF EMBER?? oooo fuck wait had they established they were a Thing Before?? I dont think so. thats weird. its like that country boy/goth girl meme lmfao. I think i am going to choose to ignore this new info and pretend I didnt hear it. 100% unrelated to the jazz/ember fanart I already drew and posted....😳

-LADIES NIGHT EPISODE THIS IS WHAT ITS ALL ABOUT. wish it didnt really center around the guys or them being pissed at them, but. willing to bet this was written by men lol

-THEY ERASED ALL THE MEN??? meanwhile, jack and danny are fishing at. silent hill or something. im glad jack is trying to read a parenting book and making an Attempt. (theyre at lake erie, but, they made it actually eerie...thats fun)

-the girls alt outfits...cute. EMBER MADE A NEW SONG TOO!!! kinda. jazz being one of the backup singers and being AWFUL. NOOOO

-'how are we going to get kitty to blow a kiss?' 'she'll have to think there are still some males in town!' ...i dont know how to break it to you, but I dont know that a 100% het girl would wish for all men to Begone. I think. I mean im not a het or a girl so I dont really know for sure. she Is probably Bi tho. esp having the other ladies in town chanting NO MEN!!! excitedly............(then again, the kiss is to get Rid of men, so, she probably would have blown it at the ladies only if they were actively trying to attack/stop them, so...I MEAN. THE DRESSING LIKE DANNY BIT WAS SO EXTRA)

-I feel like an all female cast ep couldve been way way way way cooler than that was. like. why was it still somehow all about Men. ...anyway. (where was valerie...)

-next ep opens with the observants, and, way way more of them than I expected...existed? I mean I guess them being a council/jury of some kind is what I expected from their first appearance (bc at that time they were basically TELLING clockwork to kill danny, not asking,, so I figured they had SOME kind of authority) but. there were so many. anyway, here goes vlad! letting his own hubris go brrrr. releasing a weather ghost for political gain! #justvladthings

-okay say what you will about him (he IS an asshole) but having an umbrella with his own face on it and more prepared to share is SUPER FUNNY. and him being fanned by huge wads of money by his bodyguards. SO ineffective but so Dramatic. He UNDERSTANDS that if youre rich you need to be. you know. obnoxious and kinda eccentric about it! fuckign hate when rich people are boring about it. I would trust vlad with nothing except to not be a boring rich asshole who wears...fucking khaki or some shit. man knows his Presentation Skills. and that 'V' chair in his mayoral office. is that fucking embroidered?

-maddie get your MAN PLEEEEASSSE. IM SO EMBARRASSED FOR HER. the way jack stays simping for this man. in FRONT OF HIS WIFE!!!! ...my god its like a love triangle. jack clearly loves vlad, who loves maddie, who loves jack. jack fenton is at the very least bi, right................. this is an OBSESSION . 'THE V MAN COMETH'???? i...my god. (also, on a serious note, to have a friend THIS SUPPORTIVE...and still be SUCH A DICK TO HIM (TRYING TO KILL HIM AND STEAL HIS WIFE??) NOT COOL VLAD. JACK IS YOUR 1 AND /ONLY/ HYPE MAN. if someone loved and supported me THIS HARD...LIKE. CMON DUDE.

-STOMP the fucking GAS, JACK

-this would make a great shirt design, looks like a metal band design! we love The Maelstrom

-oh, so vlad did in fact get a mansion in amity park. and its purple! good color choice! not as flashy as a CASTLE or MURDER CABIN, but still pretty eccentric, which I appreciate.

-...vlad knows the difference between picasso and da vinci? in the ep last post where we were watching him fail at conquering every historical time ever he didnt seem to know history well enough to like. be effective...was vlad taking art history at college?? (was he an art MAJOR??? we never DID KNOW WHAT HE WENT TO SCHOOL FOR. I kinda assumed business because in the masters of time ep he was still rich without ghost powers so he had to have..known something about business or something, right...but also, art and or theater FITS HIS PERSONALITY. possibly also something science-y, I guess, but I always felt like he got roped into that, esp how pessimistic he was about the ghost portal in the flashbacks to college, like, i felt like he was just there for maddie and was uninterested/un-invested at the time...)

-THIS GHOST JUST ELECTROCUTED MADDIE (THE CAT) BITCH!! THATS MY FAVORITE MADDIE!!! vlad going after vortex and being ~shocked~ .....WHEN. WHEN WILL YOU LEARN. THAT YOUR ACTIONS. HAVE CONSEQUENCES!!!

-the way this random man with a camera sees the mayor laying in an alley covered in TRASH AND DECIDES TO TAKE A PICTURE HAHAH

*snap* this ones going in my cringe compilation!

-vlad 'if we're going to defeat vortex, we're going to have to do it together!' *immediately dips after dropping danny off in front of vortex* JKASDFHKJHJKN

-DANNY CAN DUPLICATE!!! ...he couldnt even attack with it, but he DID IT!!! INTO (4) OF HIMSELF!!! SO PROUD!!!!!!!!!!

-'THE ROLLER COASTER EMOTIONS OF A TEENAGER THREATEN MY PLANS!' ...0 self awareness of his own dramatic moodiness. incredible, how dumb this man is. its very close to circling around to endearing, if he was less of an asshole. at least its very very funny to see danny shooting him with tiny lightning bolts anytime he's even slightly irritated! vlad you should be nice to danny anyway. this is what you GET

-...making sandwiches and ice cream and playing video games with your nephew is a totally normal thing. WHY is vlad acting like this is the end of the world. if you were a GOOD UNCLE YOU WOULD ALREADY BE DOING THESE THINGS!!! bitch I make my nephew food all the time and dont forget what he does and doesnt like. if u didnt know danny didnt want tomatoes, thats on u. if u, a grown adult, are gonna piss of the 14 yr old by not letting him win, u deserve to have to pay for the arcade machines he ruins because he now has uncontrollable storm powers because YOU THREW HIM INTO A FIGHT WITH THE STORM GHOST. fuck u vlad. paypal me $400,000 while ur at it tho. (also, gamer vlad confirmed)

-VLAD CAN COOK THOUGH???! I assumed he had...people working for him that did that. I mean. billionaires usually dont do that. then again, we've only seen those vultures working for him (and I guess the dairy king was AT his old mansion, but it was never really clarified if he worked there...I think he probably just Hung Out and they Enjoyed Cheeses Together. thats what I think, I dont think a KING would be working for anyone and also the dairy king was nice <3) but then again he would be a private person and we cant have anyone accidentally finding Ghostly Things, so...still, that's hilarious. pour one out for that really cute banana split that got ruined 2 seconds later

-vlad just fucking picking danny up and THROWING HIM AT VORTEX TWICE WITHIN LIKE A MINUTE. JUST ABSOLUTELY LAUNCHING HIM. BITCH THATS MY SON BE CAREFUL!!! HES GOT ORGANS AND THINGS!!!!

-danny seeing those animal commercials and feeling sad is the biggest 2000s throwback so far. i legitimately had to change the channel or walk out of the room when those came on bc id CRY AND BE SAD ABOUT THEM FOR DAYS AFTER. fuck those commercials and fuck that IN THE ARMMMS OF AN ANGELLLL song 😭

-'vlads ego almost got the town destroyed!' yes danny thats the entire episode. the entire series anytime vlad shows up honestly. this episode was just him being really embarrassing the entire time, and, me laughing about it. 10/10 would laugh at him again

-NEXT EP WE HAVE A SHAPESHIFTING GHOST?? I've said it before but shapeshifting is the power I would want when asked those 'what superpower do you want' questions...its the Best power! this guy looks like a homestuck character. ive never read homestuck but thats the vibe

-I love every time we see tuckers family, they are by far the most functional family. and dash has a lil chihuahua!!! named pookie!!! i am crying (I've had 3 chihuahuas, so I am very biased, but...) AND HE WATCHES THE ROMANCE CHANNEL WITH POOKIE. POOKIE I WILL DIE FOR YOU YOU SWEET LITTLE BABY.

-danny can lift a bus! I shouldn't be surprised, but i am proud of my son. hes got lil kid fans. i am going to cry about this

-JAZZ KEEPS A SCRAPBOOK WITH DANNY'S LIL HEROICS AND NEWSPAPER CLIPPINGS!!! we've actually seen it on her floor before, but I didnt realize it was a scrapbook!! thats sooo cute.

-...and danny has to stand there listening to his parents saying danny phantom sucks and is a 'filthy ghost' and calling him egotistical...i am once again stealing their kids!

-THIS GHOST RIPPING JAZZ'S SCRAPBOOK!!! ILL KILL YOU. SHE WORKED HARD ON THAT!!! BITCH

-yes, maddie, the one with red eyes is For Sure Actually Your Son. ignore the, red eyes... (CLEARLY she hasnt watched the other 2 eps where danny has been evil, she doesnt know red eyes= evil!!!)

-'billy fenton'.......................

-danny being stuck as phantom in his own house, no way out is a fucking NIGHTMARE. his parents pointing giant weapons against him and SHOOTING AT HIM. THIS IS A HORROR MOVIE.

-NINE INCH NAILS POSTER.

-this is the most screenshot of all time

-amorpho turning into mr. lancer because hes 'someone no one will want to be around' BUT HES WRONG, I WOULD BEFRIEND AND HANG OUT WITH MR LANCER SO FAST.

-tucker dressing as danny, now I have the full Tucker set of him being sam and also being danny. also saying 'the ghost...uh...RIPPED MY FACE OFF.' and then running. SMOOTH. NOT AT ALL CONCERNING TO ANY PARENTS.

-sam accepts the toast from jack. and then 2 seconds later is like 'why am i eating this.' THIS SHOWS HUMOR IS SO UNEXPECTED SOMETIMES ITS REALLY GOOD. and then the scene after, mr lancer running into his ghost doppelganger and being like 'YOURE GORGOUS' THEN FAINTING. I AM CRYING. AND DASH FAINTING TOO.

-sam disguising herself as danny again to help tucker run from the fentons. but leaving him shirtless in the streets. incredible. 'plEASE DOnt NOTice MY FACELessNESS I MUST LIVE IN EXILE' this episode is destroying me the humor in this show is exactly my brand of corny and cheesy

-the impromtu story made up by danny and amorpho to explain stuff to the fentons. my god they are both such bad liars. but amorpho is a good egg. wish danny wouldnt have said he didnt wanna see him in town again!! I want him to be reoccurring. not that thats gonna matter since I'm almost done with the series, but the idea of this being the Only Time We See him is :(

-NEXT EP SAYS STARRING MARK HAMILL??????!!! hello ! mr . joker....mr. star wars.... I feel like I should be. idk. taking off a hat im not wearing in respect. I shouldnt be surprised tho bc hes in a lot of cartoons as a very good voice actor, and dp has already had a lot of talented ones so I've been looking out for ones I might know, but....mr. hamill....

-sam has her own greenhouse, names all the plants, and says thank you to them (in the languages from where the plants are from) whenever she harvests from them. thats SO cute. and her lil gothy lunch box...

-and danny's lil red fuzzy lined jacket!!! ive said it before but every time the characters get alt outfits im like :D

-danny has ice powers now!!! THATS WHAT FROSTBITE MEANT. HE KNEW SOMEHOW WAY BACK THEN

-THIS SHOW NEVER LETS YOU FORGET VLAD IS A BILLIONAIRE, HUH.

-danny's lil 'holy hibiscus!' first off the 50s batman swearing is hilarious. 2nd. my username is from the flower sanchoyo hibiscus, so, shoutout to ME this ep. hi :)

-EURGH UNDERGROWTH MAKING EVERYONE PLANT ZOMBIES. HIVEMIND PLOTS SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF ME. and this dude made the city SO overtaken so quickly like how long was danny asleep?? oh god

-evil fucked up sam! now the whole trio has gone evil at some point! the voice actress did a really, really good job with making her sound like a zombie...

-frostbite's paws are so so so big compared to danny. oh my god. i want to hug the snow dog...

-the far frozen has an advanced medical stuff!!! very cool. very smart snow dogs

-im so glad danny has a friendly ghost snow dad to explain this new power and teach him!!! this is so sweet. DANNY'S GHOST SENSE WAS A PART OF HIS ICE POWER?? OOOH. COOL. we love a training montage!!!

-danny saying if he cant defeat overgrowth, that he'd want to stay with frostbite...oh my god...do you think this is the first real supportive adult figure in his life (I am NOT counting his parents because they threaten him on the daily even if they dont realize it.) I mean mr lancer is a Teacher, but he was also nice but this is different, but this is a GHOST WHO IS WILLING TO HELP HIM with his powers and also will help him when hes injured and is so so nice and comparatively so much more mature than 90% of the adults in this show!!!! god. dad frostbite is my everything.

-the framing and lighting this episode, and all the angles...they went all OUT and it looks really really good. this is my nightmare scenario, tho. like, FUCK zombies and dead city zones and hivemind shit. and using the humans as 'nutrients for the children' i am going to THROW UP.

-MALEFICENT VIBES WITH THE HORNS AND GREEN EYES! this costume kicks so much ass. sam is now mark hamills daughter, I guess.

-danny's ice powers making his eyes blue!!! thats neat. and him going for the roots underground was SO SMART. i will not stand for danny ever thinking hes stupid, hes SO smart.

almost done with the show... :"( thats a sad thought!!!

#sanchoyorambles #dp thoughts #danny phantom

[aros001]

Going in blind: Watching season 1 for the first time. Random thoughts.

This show is kind of nice because I have no memories of the original She-Ra show, or even any of He-Man, honestly. I'm not sure if I ever watched the original, so I have no frame of reference for how the series is "supposed" to be. I can just take it and judge it as is.

Of the bat, all I know is that supposedly She-Ra and Catra get together as a romantic couple later, but I'm also a huge My Hero Academia fan and the fandom around me ships every character with every other character, so for all I know that might just be shipper wishful thinking I've been seeing and hearing. Given fandoms for Gravity Falls, Thor, and Supernatural ship even siblings together, I've learned not to trust anything except for what I see in the series for myself.

By the way, this isn't a review, just random thoughts and comments I'm having as I'm going through season 1 for the first time.

Episodes 1 and 2: Right off, I really like Catra's "No duh" response to Adora about the truth of the horde. She knows they've been lying to them and have been doing terrible things, she just doesn't care. If she and Adora play their cards right they could end up being the ones in charge and then they'd have all that power. Not necessarily to make things better but enough to where they could do whatever and live however they want. That's a good build for an antagonist. Not ignorant to the fact what they're doing is wrong, just simply so selfish that they don't care.

Episode 3: It really feels like there was no good reason why Glimmer didn't just outright introduce Adora to her mother and every reason she should have known it was a bad idea to try and hide her for a surprise. Being a former horde soldier she'd probably get treated with hostility if Glimmer brought her to the front gate but you'd almost guarantee Adora would get arrested or outright killed if she got caught while no one else knew she was there.

On the other side, we have Hordak being pretty intelligent in promoting Catra. He probably knows Shadow Weaver already doesn't like him, so it's not like he's losing anything making her upset with him, and it's clear she favors Adora way more than Catra, so that little bit of advancement towards Catra probably goes a long way in earning her loyalty to him and a person on the inside with Shadow Weaver.

Also, I'm not the only one who saw Madam Razz and immediately thought Adora had found her Yoda, right?

Episode 4: I don't know how it was in the original She-Ra and He-Man series but I kind of like She-Ra being this title from legend. Adora is not the first She-Ra, given what Razz was talking about with a Mara, so instead of being something new, impressing everyone with abilities they've never seen before, and creating the legend, Adora is placed in a position WAY over her head where she's having to live up to what came before her.

Episode 5: Calling it now, as long as her personality is genuine I think Scorpia is going to be one of my favorite characters in this show. She's...endearing, I think is the best word. She's like a mix of Kronk and a nicer Shego.

For a little bit I thought Mermista was voiced by the same actress who played Poison Ivy in the Harley Quinn animated series. She's not but they do have the same kind of Daria-ish inflections, thus by confusion. Given the prom episode, Sea Hawk feels kind of like her Kite Man.

Episode 6: Okay, now it's between Scorpia and Entrapta who are likely to be my favorites by the end of this. She's fun and quirky.

Episode 7: Quite the lore drop. Shadow Weaver was once a Mystacor sorceress known as Light Spinner. I like to imagine we'll get more on that later. Her haunting Adora reminded me of the Teen Titans' episode where Robin was similarly haunted by Slade. This didn't go as far as that but that's probably for the best, since TT had two and a half seasons to build that dynamic up with Robin and Slade while we're only now halfway through the first season.

Episode 8: Well dang. Again, I don't know for sure if Adora and Catra do end up together but boy do I buy why they're shipped together after that dance. Also, good on Bow for standing up for himself. It's clear that he'll always be Glimmer's friend and this won't change that but that doesn't mean he has to just accommodate her. I understand where her issues stem from but I am still glad he gave her a reality check. It helps him feel a little more like his own character.

Also, another nice little bit of lore and worldbuilding. Scorpia's a princess, the horde landed where her people lived, and they seemed to join them willingly.

Episode 9: Surprisingly don't have a lot to say about this other than I don't buy for a second that Entrapta is dead (EDIT: She's not). This was mostly action.

Episode 10: Not going to lie, this one kind of annoyed me a little, at least the first half. The conversation between Glimmer and her mother saved it a bit. It was a bit of a trifecta. You have the alliance breaking apart, saying that the loss of Entrapta only happened because they were all together...even though Entrapta only "died" because of her own machine obsession that caused her to deliberately walk back into the purging chamber. You have Entrapta who might be turning to the horde's side because she feels abandoned by the other princesses...even though they thought she was dead, and again it was her fault they got separated. And you have Glimmer refusing to tell her mother that Shadow Weaver's dark magic has caused her powers to go on the fritz and is causing her great pain. It just feels like none of this would be an issue if most of these people would stop being self-absorbed for three seconds and talk like any normal person would. It feels very CW drama, like something I'd see in a bad season of Arrow or The Flash. The only person whose issues I buy is Adora, who is basically a soldier who was never properly raised to deal with emotion or loss and is already struggling with the burden of being She-Ra, the legendary savior. I get why she's beating down on herself for not being able to do more even if nothing that happened was her fault.

Episode 11: JEEEEEEEEEZZZZ, that was such a good episode! Focused entirely on Adora and Catra and their past together. Like, just showing someone this episode alone could probably get them to want to watch the series. That was everything you needed to know about their dynamic and history together.

Also, that moment when Catra and her past self are looking at each other, while obviously Catra takes the opposite lesson, it reminded me of this fanart I'd once seen of Jason Todd, the Red Hood, looking at his past self as Robin. The past says to the future "You ruined everything". Catra could be happy but, ironically for someone who hates Shadow Weaver, she's probably going to be a lot like her, sacrificing everything for power and ambition.

Given the way she looked, I'm guessing Shadow Weaver is either addicted to the power of the Black Garnet or she suffered some kind of past injury and its power is the only thing keeping her going. Or both.

Episode 12: I'll be honest, Swiftwind being able to talk kind of gobsmacked and I needed a moment to recover. What a great voice they chose for that character.

So She-Ra is kind of like the legendary heroes from Rising of the Shield Hero, coming from a long line of people chosen to wield the sword. I tend to dislike chosen one types of stories because I think prophecy takes a lot of weight out of the character's actions, so this and Avatar are more what I like. The MC is special but not the only one who's ever been special and they can still easily fail. Their destiny was only to be able to use the weapon, not that they would succeed in any specific purpose.

And dang, Catra's turn against Shadow Weaver happened faster than I thought it would but I'm not complaining. That great "This is what you've really been preparing me for" speech and Hordak, again, being an intelligent villain. "Oh, this experiment could net me a MASSIVE gain and all it could potentially cost me is this rock I already gave away to someone who lately hasn't been producing any results and has been consistently disobeying me. Yeah, I'm going to let this play out."

Episode 13: That was kind of a brutal fight between Adora and Catra. Not the worst I've ever seen even in other shows for this age range (Samurai Jack, for example) but those punches are connecting and those claws are leaving marks.

Also, maybe I'm just misunderstanding the exact situation but shouldn't the good guys' side be called the Resistance instead of the Rebellion? Being a rebellion would imply they are rebelling against an established power or rule over them, but the actual conflict we are shown is the established power and rule that is the kingdoms of Eternia resisting an outside force that wishes to establish a new order over them.

Season 1 verdict: I'm into it. I'm definitely more invested in the villains' side of things but that's not a fault of the series, that stuff is just way more geared towards me than the current princess stuff. I actively am at attention whenever the horde main characters are on screen. For the good guys it's mostly Adora and the She-Ra stuff I'm invested it. That isn't to say I have any real dislikes for that side. Bow especially I'm liking much more than I thought I might. He has kind of this gravitational pull around him. You will be his friend regardless of how much you might want to resist. He's definitely the rock for everyone else to hold onto.

Minor side note, kind of like Korra in Legend of Korra, I love how even when her powers aren't active Adora is shown to still be pretty strong physically with how easily she was lifting people up at the prom.

And I was right, Scorpia is my favorite side character.

On to season 2!

Original Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/PrincessesOfPower/comments/nyll2e/going_in_blind_watching_season_1_for_the_first/

#she ra #she ra spop #random thoughts #reddit repost

[psychelocktango]

The fact that there are people who try to claim that queer isn't a slur because they wanna use it and have reclaimed it just baffle me.

Those two ideas aren't mutually exclusive.

A slur is a definition, just like calling something a noun or a verb. It's a classification that notes how society is using a word or has had a history of using a word that's often classified by country as well. It's like birdwatching and writing down what kind of birds you see.

Lots of slurs are used as empowerment but they're still 100% slurs. It's all about who uses them and in what context. The fact that a word is a slur does NOT mean there us anything wrong or bad about said minority group reclaiming it.

Queer empowers you? Fantastic. Glad to hear it. I also love being queer and using it! But shaming people who also are in the umbrella who don't want to use it or don't feel comfortable using it to describe themselves? You're acting like a garbage person. Slurs are slurs because of their history and how they're used as tools of oppression and discrimination. By forcing someone or the community as a whole to use queer as a mandatory identifier you are actively hurting members of the community.

And you know who else had the same ideology but with a different intent? People who use that word as a derogatory slur and force it upon others. Someone hurling the word queer at you as they threaten your safety VS someone saying that you have to identify as queer and that it's not a slur/ if you disagree you're "against the community" is obviously not equivalent but it does create a similar level of fear and alienation.

Queer is a slur, that's not a debate. Something being filed as a slur does not make the word always terrible or render any value judgement on reclaiming it. The value judgement it renders is on people who chose to use it harmfully. (And even then, it's a way to validate victims and prove that yes, words do hurt)

And words clearly have power if you're fighting to hard to use or not use it.

That's linguistics, that's history, and it's still a very real and very relevant threat. To say it's not a slur isn't just illogical and unfounded, it also actively hurts those who've had the word weaponized against them.

Unapologetically queer should never be synonymous with "anyone in the community who doesn't like to use this word should be ashamed and is wrong."

Seriously, the world sucks enough. People are at different levels of comfort with their identity, and have different histories of experiences and trauma.

Likewise, the idea that because queer is a slur it therefore can't be empowering to a community also doesn't make sense. For some, wielding the word is the very definition of empowerment and how they reclaimed themselves.

BASIC FACTS

Queer is a slur

Slurs, by their nature, can be reclaimed by the minority group that they effect. But this is ultimately a personal decision.

If someone finds queer empowering that's wonderful and valid. If someone finds the word queer terrifying or uncomfortable, that's just as valid. So many lgbtQ people who live in the south still get this hurled at them or used in literal hate crimes.

Telling someone in the LGBT umbrella that they must or can never use the word queer as a personal identifier because of that individual's personal attachment to the word is always an opinion, not based on fact.

It's the same type of argument as the "LABELS ARE GOOD" vs "LABELS ARE BAD". Except there are actual reasons that directly effect the health and safety of someone.

END FACTS

*obviously if someone you're around is highly traumatized by the word, don't be an asshole? It's like not eating peanut butter next to someone who's highly allergic. Can you? Yes. But you're a jerk and should probably do some self evaluation, even if peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are the only food you really like to eat. Your personal wants shouldn't endanger someone else.

I hope anyone who's been spreading the "QUEER ISN'T A SLUR BECAUSE IT STARTED OUT AS OUR WORD" At the very least can read this, or go and learn what the definition of a slur means. {and that slurs vary by country!!} Because it literally does not matter where the word originated. Words don't get some "not a slur" citizenship award, because at one time they weren't used as a slur. Making something NOT a slur requires a long time period where no one is using it as an insult. Also for this reason, a lot of people who IDENTIFY as queer like myself, don't want queer being used by people outside of the community. ,

#queer #queer is a slur #why is this a thing #queer isn't a slur #my post #why y'all #like im a very tired english degree gay and i honestly dont understand why people are so set on an idea but refuse to google the definition #linguistics #discourse

[sirius-lune]

I am physically and mentally prepared. Come.

Already did. With my imagination. Where the heck are you at??

How did you know??? Wait. It is obvious. I would have ignored your calls but hell, why is your voice so charming???

Saeran, no. You aren't Jumin.

Bad prologue and we are getting a very smooth af Saeran. Then again, just my thoughts here. If Saeran is really, as what some people said, mentally and emotionally broken to the extent that he will simple suck any affection and care shown to him like a sponge, and obsessed with MC, judging by his cautious behaviour towards trusting people, I honestly do not think he will simply approach ANYONE out there just to dig for their affection. I believe it is love at first sight for his case. Even if he may not understand what exactly is love in the romantic sense, I strongly believe he slowly came to realize that after spending some time with her.

It was mentioned that Saeran will develop his other personality under influence of drug, where his attitude becomes easily irritated and 'high' due to the influence of excess dopamine and other neurotransmitters that caused an influx of an emotional and pleasure rush into the brain. Overdose and over stimulation will cause euphoric effects for a short period of time. Because the body and brain also understand that such feelings, despite the fact that it is syntactically induced, is a good feeling, the user will start to thirst for those feelings and hence, the drug craving. The drug also seems to act as an amplifier to whatever feelings the person have inside. One of the reasons why Saeran don't want to take the drug is because it will cause gastric discomfort. Some drugs has such side effects, especially when taken with an empty stomach. Saeran is noted in the plot to not take his meals diligently or that he is not eating proper food.

Some chemical structures of those drugs mimicked our brains' own neurotransmitters and fool our brain receptors, allowing them to attach to our neurons competitively (sorry for some scientific terms). Also, because the chemical structures are not exactly the same as those that our body produce, the activation of neurons will differ from what the effects is supposed to be. Hence, the euphoric effects induced will also differ from person to person and depending on what kind of drugs they took in. That's all about drugs and their effects for now because if I were to really go on, this will stretch for several more pages (I major in pharmaceutical chemistry so...).

Next, I will touch on his personality changes. It is noted that his personality will drastically change after drug intake. There are also several occasions when he was still Ray, but also aware that Unknown is still awake within him but repressed, because Ray himself is actually who Saeran is originally (apart from the affection deprived nature). Let's not forget that since young, that psychopath, I mean, Rika, took him away from V, make use of him and brainwashed him, influenced him for years before he became self loathing and etc like what we see in the plot. We know that children are pure and tend to soak in information like sponge. For Saeran's case let's just say that he came into contact with really sick influence long-term by the psychopath named Rika. So much that his mindset towards certain things, about humanity and such, became twisted. Rika showed him care and affection, and probably has been telling him, convincing him for years that no one other than her cared for him.

However, when Rika mentioned wanting to cleanse MC herself, and wanted to spend some alone time with her, Saeran became VERY concerned. He probably is aware and has his own way of thinking because he did mention that he stopped taking the drug for some time. Rika herself is the devil while the so called devil that reside in Saeran appears only during drug induction. To put it simply, the lock and key system.

There is also another reason why I am convinced that Saeran truly loved MC. Despite people saying that he is obsessed with MC, trying to please her to make her stay and such, that is just not the case entirely. MC went to V's side later in the plot, although Saeran did mentioned a few times of wanting to bring her back, in the end, he did not. He just don't want MC to hate him. Being disliked by the person you really like is painful as hell. He gave up the idea and instead, requested to chat through phone calls, mentioned in one of the calls I think. Do not forget that, Saeran doesn't know what normal people do to pursue the person of romantic interests in norm social terms because he is shut in that asylum for years before he was granted permission by Rika to venture out, probably to recruit people. Although there is something called the internet, for a person who has minimal contact with society, will be crippled when first hand contact with people is involved. They do things by book.

He could have bring the MC back to him by force but during his last moments fully gave up the idea and sincerely wished for her to be happy. He did not hate her or blame her. Or guilt trip her any more, not because he gave up but, rather, wants her to live a happy life. Because he knew, MC is a great person. And he probably did not deserve her. That self loathing attitude came from there but we all knew he made peace with himself during those two final phone calls with her. He died with regrets, but let it end at that, by saying goodbye to her in his monologue before activating the bomb.

I may not have the best analysis of him and there are many others with different opinion. However, Saeran needs drug purge from his body and intense amount of therapy to correct his mentality because Ray side of Saeran, is negotiable from what I observed during the plot, if the key person is there with him. Like, MC or Sae Young for instance.

As much as I liked V, he shouldn't have lied. We could have Rika captured, V and Saeran going into treatment and therapy. No one has to die or be hurt. It is the approach and the presence of people who truly care that matters.

#mystic messenger #mysme #mystic messenger saeran #mm saeran #mysme saeran #saeran choi #mystic messenger ray #mm ray #mysme ray #saeran