#nothing but respect for MY gm

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

uh-oh she's gushing about shinon again and it's super long

So you guys know I love Shinaff. BUT!!! I would like to explain to you part of how that came to be, i.e. how Janaff's supports with Shinon were both different and important!!! In other words, a direct exploration of his development involving laguz and how he's turning out for the better post Janaff A support and RD (and how it makes the most sense to have their A support slotted between the beginning of PoR and the end of RD for a full progression of his development)!

First of all, Shinon only has three supports; so unlike most characters, every line counts and needs to hold more weight to his conversations.

Rolf and Gatrie's supports portray different sides of him: the mentor and the friend. What we see in these supports is stuff we essentially already knew about him, but we're given more depth. The thing to note here is, again, we already knew these things about him. This is the man we started with.

What we don't get in these supports is proper development. Janaff is the only support he has that gives him that. Janaff's supports with him are the only ones that gives him any self reflection and improvement. This isn't necessarily a bad thing for the other supports, but it's more that it props up these ones a little bit more.

Also, when you get to RD, Shinon comes off as though he's already gotten this development. He feels like he's grown as a person. While that makes sense, from a player's perspective, we didn't really see that development in him (like we would have with characters like Ike, Mist, Soren, etc)... unless you supported him with Janaff.

In RD, Shinon has Gatrie and Rolf as bonded by defaults. These are basically internal bonds in RD - ones that aren't needed by supports. You can carry over support data from PoR to RD, and characters will receive a bond with the character they A supported. For some, like Ranulf and Ike, these bonds will be there regardless of if they got an A support.

That means that even without supporting them in PoR, Shinon will bonded to these two by default. Janaff is his only other support, so if they reach an A support and that data is carried over to RD, he now has his full list of supports bonded to him. Mind you, that's a liiittle bit of a big deal (and kinda cool to me!) as nobody else can do that (or almost nobody, since I'm not totally positive what Stefan and Volke's situations are and would have to check on that in my game, as the only other characters with an extremely low amount of supports).

So why do I say that's important? Because the only character he won't have by default as a bond is Janaff. You have to go out of your way to get their support bond (and when I say out of your way, I mean it pretty literally if you don't normally use one or both of them, due to how PoR's support system works). Janaff is the only character Shinon has to build up a bond with from scratch, which is something the player has to decide to do.

Gatrie and Rolf are the base - the bare minimum. It's given to you, no questions asked. Shinon doesn't have to develop as a person to have those bonds. When Janaff arrives in 3-7, if they were A supported in PoR (and your data was carried over), he and Shinon automatically have their bond show up in the bond list on each of their profiles as of the turn Janaff is on the map. This also means they can get a double A support, which is, again, something Shinon has very few options for.

Without Janaff, Shinon doesn't get that extremely direct development. In RD it's assumed all the characters had development of some sort (example, Shinon is much more chilled out and takes a much more active role in watching out for the GMs and making sure they're properly funded). However, with the way Shinon's development toward laguz went, you'd think something must have happened for him to change his mind.

However, it's an uncontestable fact that Ike stated everyone in the GMs decided to stay knowing full well they'd be fighting for the Laguz Alliance:

"I told the others they could leave if they didn’t want to work with laguz, but everybody decided they’d rather stay. Don’t worry about it, Ranulf."

If they didn't want to work with laguz (Shinon and Soren would be the primary candidates he brought this up for), they didn't have to go. They didn't have to take part. They didn't have to be there. Shinon decided to stay despite fully aware they would be the only beorc there. That's development already... but if he supported Janaff, it starts to make more sense and feels like a proper linear path for his development.

"But DCB, he was racist toward Lyre!" Sure! He's not perfect and there's still room for growth. In fact, Shinon started out calling her a sub-human but referred to her as a laguz when Gatrie was the only one left to hear him, so he either:

is trying to keep up appearances in front of laguz he doesn't like, using sub-human to their face but not using that term in private anymore (or to laguz he doesn't hate, i.e. Janaff in their A support where he catches himself about to use that term. Though he wasn't quite ready to say "laguz" yet, he stopped himself from using "you sub-humans" and instead said "you guys").

slipped up in using sub-human (from habit*) and called her a laguz when speaking to Gatrie because he's becoming more used to using that term regularly. That is to say, it's becoming more natural for him to say.

If you got his A support with Janaff, it makes sense that he slips up sometimes still but is trying to speak more properly about laguz. Getting out of old habits is hard. Feeling differently about something you've had a steady mindset for (in his case for 27 years as per his support with Janaff) is hard. There will be slip ups.

*It's possible Shinon uses "sub-human" as an insult aimed at individuals he doesn't like while not meaning it toward others (i.e. he doesn't like Kyza and Lyre). Yes, this is a big flaw! He could very well be using a racist term to express distaste toward someone specific but not mean it toward the whole of laguz. It's still racist and shouldn't be done, but the fact that he turned around and said "laguz" only a couple sentences later (if that) means that something is kicking in and some gears are turning.

Again, if you look at his A support with Janaff, he wasn't even at the point of using "laguz" at all! If you consider their A support part of his linear development, he starts as he is in PoR, supports Janaff and goes through their conversations while seeing laguz differently now, and ultimately ends at respecting Janaff. Despite this, he's not ready to use "laguz" yet because he experiences with laguz to date, prior to Janaff, had all been presumably negative enough for him to develop this racist mindset.

Linearly, that brings us to RD. He's suddenly fine staying with the GMs and fighting a war on behalf of the Laguz Alliance, even when he was directly given an out. Next, we have him refer to a laguz as a laguz - something he wasn't able to do yet in PoR.

Does the linear progression stop there? Not if you supported Janaff! Following those things, again, when Janaff arrives in 3-7, their bond will show up in their profiles. These bonds are separate from RD support bonds in that they're basically saying these characters were bonded before the events of RD and thus have special bonuses near each other, regardless of if you support them in RD.

So where does this lead us? Well, like in PoR, we start to lose focus on the GMs as a whole and only end up with focus on a few of them. Our next line of progression can only come from supports again. These are notable and extremely important if he's supported with a laguz.

If it's Janaff you support him with in RD, he gets one of his standard support quotes in battle. Maybe you're thinking that sounds unimpressive and unimportant... but this means he's responding to Janaff as someone he's familiar with and not treating differently from the others (which is not the case when responding to several others, which I'll get to). Normally you'd expect him to treat a laguz differently, but he speaks with Janaff like he would to any beorc.

It gives off an air of familiarity - like they already know each other, are passed all that nonsense and aren't even thinking about it anymore. This is, of course, the case regardless of if you supported them in PoR (but again, I find their PoR supports to be important in terms of a proper, full linear progression of Shinon's development, which is something not every character actually even gets, i.e. they don't get a fully fleshed out and ongoing development story between both games if they're not a main character).

It's almost like it's considering that you may have gotten their PoR supports. It has to leave it up in the air as to whether or not you did, because it'd be odd if he was suddenly treating Janaff like they weren't as familiar with each other after getting their PoR supports. In other words, by default, their relationship in RD is not as bad as it starts in PoR in their C support. It feels like they've already supported and are closer now to be at this point.

So why is it important that he acts no different with Janaff than anyone else? Because he does act different near laguz kings. He's given special, personalized lines to the laguz kings and refers to them sincerely as laguz. Important to note is that the laguz kings only become playable in part four (Tibarn and Naesala) and Endgame (Caineghis).

These are characters he would have absolutely no chance at having any development with in either game prior (even if you consider time spent in PoR, Tibarn and Naesala are not playable until the final chapter and you can only pick one of them. Caineghis, plain and simple, is not even an option). That means his supports with them are the very beginning of their relationship.

This is by part four. There's been development since part three in his character that we don't see. He's now openly referring to them as only "laguz" (remember, he was back and forth earlier in RD). He treats them with respect.

"But DCB, of course he does! They're kings! They're powerful!" But the Shinon we started out with in PoR wouldn't have cared less. To him back then a sub-human was a sub-human. Even as allies, he wouldn't have respected them (re: his C support with Janaff). Instead, here, in RD with these supports, he can talk with laguz directly, refer to them as such, and give them respect.

He also doesn't start out being intentionally racist toward them. He's at the point, by the time he can support the laguz kings, where he skips right past the active "sub-human" bullshit.

What do I mean by that? Well... I mean with Tibarn, he almost says sub-human but catches himself and doesn't just say "you guys" like he did with Janaff in their A support (which came before his C support with Tibarn if you consider his development linear and including Janaff). He corrects himself, and instead uses "a king" - similar to his "you guys" pull back, but outright referring to him as a king is actually a step above that (and again, this is their C support).

King Tibarn. It seems like a sub-hu– I mean–a king such as yourself can hold your own.

He's learning! He's growing! He's maturing! He's realizing he can get out of that mindset! All his experiences prior to PoR, based on his supports with Janaff, would imply he's only ever known that he has to protect himself against them. He never got to actually meet one. When he did, it was hard to pull himself out of old habits for new experiences. He was trying for Janaff, but he wasn't quite there yet. Here, he does something very similar.

With the other kings, he just outright refers to them as kings with no stumbles.

Hey, Lion King! Of anybody here, it seems like you’d be just fine.

Raven King, you seem all right. No need to be babied, I hope.

Mind you, the latter is pretty standard Shinon in personality. It's unrelated to Naesala being a laguz. However, both are these are completely respectful as a person talking to another person.

For his B supports we have:

I thought you were the all-conquering King Caineghis! And yet, you mess up. Bizarre. You better stay by me.

Hawk King, whew, even you mess up sometimes. Kinda makes me nervous. You better stay by me.

Raven King–your fighting? Not good. Just…stay by me and let me handle this.

Bizarre, he says, that one of the strongest people he knows is having trouble. He's actually surprised. No comment about how sub-humans suck or anything, not here!

Similarly, even Tibarn messes up sometimes. He's surprised. He expects basically perfectly from Tibarn (so this presumes he has positive expectations of him from what he knows of Tibarn).

Naesala's fighting isn't good? Well what does PoR Shinon care! Let him die! But that's not RD Shinon (and remember, these quotes could've been anything else considering he got specifically personalized quotes with these three, and personalized quotes for RD supports are somewhat few and tend to be for specific pairs).

Stay by me, he says! The same things he'll say to anyone! To any beorc and to any laguz. Again, personalized quotes did exist and they were there for certain pairs. Those pairs got special quotes specifically for their relationship). He didn't avoid saying "stay by me" just because they were laguz.

Mind you, his support quotes with these three are much more respectful than usual Shinon. He's very, uh, hilariously Shinon (there is a word for this, however at this time I cannot think of it 😔. I am not thinking of sarcastic, I am thinking of... something else. Granted, these lines are directed to Reyson and Rafiel, who technically can't fight... so I'll give him a break on that one) in most of his quotes, and some don't sound particularly respectful ("Prince ___, it’s really hard to watch you fight. Why don’t you stay by me and let me handle this?").

Now for the A supports (and BOY HOWDY I'M EATIN' GOOD HERE)...

You know, I’m not one for making friends and being nice. But, Caineghis, I gotta say, you are one bad laguz. In a good way! Hang in there.

I gotta admit… I didn’t like you when I first met you. But, Prince ___, I hope you make it through all this. I was wrong about you.

You know, I really don’t care who lives and who dies. But, Hawk King, for a laguz– hey, for anyone–you seem pretty decent. I hope you make it.

You know, I never thought I’d say this, but… King ___, I’m thinkin’ you should live. Don’t ask me why! Just a crazy notion. Maybe I like you?

Not one for making friends and being nice in general, with beorc, but he's befriending a laguz? Well now! What would PoR Shinon pre-Janaff say!

If you need me to explain the lines to Reyson and Rafiel to you, I have no hope for you at this point. If you can't read "I was wrong about you" and understand what that means, you might need to go back to school. In fact you definitely do.

For a laguz - no, scratch that because that doesn't fucking matter anymore - for anyone - you seem pretty decent (<-- this is the way Shinon talks to everyone).

Maybe he likes Naesala? Maybe they're friends? Maybe he just admitted he's fond of a laguz? Maybe he just said he likes a laguz??? Gosh jolly, early PoR Shinon is rolling in his grave!

So uhhh, what does this have to do with Janaff? Well, like I said, I feel like their supports slot perfectly into Shinon's development that's going to exist anyway. It's like the middle part of it that you get to see but also may miss out on. It's like jumping from PoR to RD and wondering what on earth happened in between to bring Shinon to that point... and if you consider his A support with Janaff, it makes sense that that's what happened. It fills that gap, and it also slots in perfectly with where he is in his development as a character between two games.

Timeline:

PoR start - Shinon hates laguz. He seems to hate them for reasons unknown. Greil dies; Shinon leaves. Chapter 18 is reached and Shinon is recruited back into the GMs. Despite that the GMs are now working with the Crimean army which has actively allied itself with the beast and bird tribes, Shinon whatevers his way through that fact and rejoins. He'll tolerate, he guesses. Fam is here.

Cue Janaff supports. New birb, who dis, except he's rude! Yes folks, it was Janaff who was rude first (his lines were also very Janaff... who is very like Shinon, so it makes sense that would get a negative reaction from Shinon even if he was a beorc). Shinon is set off and now thinks he was right to hate laguz. Look at this annoying birb face and his dumb lil hat!!! Better threaten to kill him just to be safe...

B support, they're having a conversation and learning from each other because Janaff came over to apologize. He knows he was in the wrong to nag at Shinon just for being an unfamiliar face. Shinon is still pissy though because it's a goddamn birb with a hat!!! Their conversation is a mix of ugh fuck this annoying guy to actually talking things out... and Shinon admitting why he hates laguz - because he's always needed to protect himself from "those half breeds". Sounds like his only experiences were very negative, so he ends up racist. Well, Janaff was also racist until very recently for similar reasons, and he used to think all beorc liked to kill. He, too, had misconceptions that bred a racist hatred. Now, though, with Shinon talking to him, he's realized he was wrong about beorc and is open to seeing things differently. Shinon backtracks, realizing he's having this conversation with the birb with a hat and wonders why.

A support, they talk more and it's getting better... and Janaff not only admits to relating to Shinon - which is a nice touch because they're two sides of the same coin who are both still very much learning about each other's races - and mind you Janaff was racist at 110 years old so he's been doing this shit for a while! It was because he talked with Shinon and learned more about beorc that, on top of what Ike did for Leanne, he's being more open minded now. Janaff, understanding where Shinon is coming from (ignorance and misconceptions), is much more polite and kind to him. Shinon, in response, backtracks when he almost uses the racist term "sub-human" so as not to offend Janaff, leaves off here respecting him and, when Janaff has to leave because the support is over, calls him back because he wants to hear more about the world from him because Janaff has lived for so much longer. Maybe the birb with the hat isn't so bad at all after all!!

From here the GMs fight with laguz allies until the end of PoR. Two or three years pass idk shit's inconsistent I guess, and we get to RD.

By this point Shinon has already been in an army that allied with and fought alongside laguz, and maybe that's tempered his feelings. When given an out from joining the other GMs in their aiding of the Laguz Alliance, and as the only beorc, he chooses to stay with the group.

At this point he's back and forth with "sub-human" and "laguz". There's definitely improvement, but old habits still get out sometimes. Still though, he's progressed from "you guys" to outright using "laguz".

The laguz kings join in the fight against Ashera. Shinon can support them, getting personalized quotes specifically for them (and for the herons). With Tibarn, he catches himself and corrects what he almost said - something he did once before with Janaff as per this linear timeline. That's the only instance left of a mistake in his wording. By now he's not using "sub-human" at all (B and A support with Tibarn or C-A with Caineghis or Naesala), or he's freely and without stumbling using "laguz" with no "you guys" esque backtrack.

This is obviously only one aspect of Shinon's development, i.e. the development of him growing out of racism similar to Janaff, and there are more aspects to him that did develop and grow throughout both games, but this post was specifically to highlight the importance of having Janaff there as part of his growth. Without it, it's like a blank, empty spot in his development where you don't know how it started happening and to such a degree (how did he go from outright using sub-human to using laguz at all? It feels like there had to be something in the middle of that growth, and without Janaff's supports it's just missing.

With them though, it's quite clear how he reasonably went from sub-human to "you guys" to laguz with some slip ups (ones that he corrects himself with if he actually respects the person, in this case Tibarn. He didn't bother correcting it with Lyre and Kyza because he didn't like them, which again, is still a flaw, but that was prior to his ability to support the laguz kings. It would be more reasonable to say he's starting to grow out of using "sub-human" just to specific people as an insult by this point.

Mans ain't perfect, but he's trying and he's working on it. Why is that without Janaff involved in his development? I 'unno, I guess he just had some random offscreen development between the games. With Janaff though? It actually works, fits and makes sense. It feels like that part of his development is meant to be there, as it compliments his development going forward.

that's it that's all i had to say bye now

#Shinon #there is quoted evidence so nobody can say im just bias and making shit up 😤 #anyway he's a multi faceted character AND gets development which FE does NOT usually do for non-main characters! #they especially don't usually get BOTH of those things! #Shinon's extremely lucky in that regard (especially bc not even all of the GMs were given this treatment and good fortune) #It's also very fun seeing Shinon and Janaff develop simultaneously. you get Janaff a SINGLE chapter before you can #get Shinon back (actually use him again) and the very first time you can ever use Janaff is ON the chapter Shinon returns #cooooincidence? maybe but I choose not to think so #Janaff feels so integral in Shinon's character growth in this regard #at this point my brain has cemented their supports as canon #anyway they're a great couple they never kiss and they definitely don't admit to being in love #they think y'all are delulu for thinking they're dating but actually they're the ones who are delulu #i have a do not separate policy for them in part four so shinon always ends up in the hawk army #which rly i don't need to do bc it's not like i need as many shrieks as i end up with #so really janaff doesn't HAVE to be with ulki and tibarn but it feels right #also it's like the one time i have everyone from a respective class type (archer classes) in every army #ALSO also I think it's an interesting situation to have Shinon in the final chapter before endgame 1 #maybe it would be cool to write about someday. him seeing the feral drugged laguz and how nastily mindless/cruel/violent/etc they are #compared to the people he knows and starting to realize this was how he used to see ALL laguz #and now seeing it's only these mindless drugged ones and how the people he knows are nothing like this...

[aethelwyneleigh27]

Farah Karim x Reader Drabble (Angst)

This is kinda rushed and it's also my first ever work for Farah to shine in her own light, also in honor of international women's day. I also need to get this one out because there's so many things in my drafts that you guys deserve to see. Also because what kind of maniac has over 200 drafts? Not me 👀.

My beloved @thesnowurzikdjinn would probably appreciate this the most because she's the biggest Farah lover I know. Happy women's day to every woman out there, trans or cis, doesn't matter. You all deserve to celebrate <33

Taglist: @wishesforyou @puff0o0 @simping4konig @simp4konig @blingblong55 @azereus @rustic-guitar-notes @shadofireshinobi @thesnowurzikdjinn @09maruchan @anonymuslydumb @skeletalgoats @icarustypicalfall @ghosts-cyphera @fawnchives @connorsui @capuccino192 @miss-gms-and-the-rotten-womb @celestialhole @the-second-sage @starryylies @everlastingmoonlightsworld @keiva1000

I've been having this brainrot for so long because I love this song that I first heard on TikTok by Nxdia, "She Likes A Boy" is just so perfect. For who you may ask?

Farah Karim x Female!Reader, why? Because imagine the tension, the angst of wanting someone you can't have after finding out that there's another thing that hinders your possibility of being with her, that thing being your one and only friend Alex.

You did your ultimate best to hide your feelings for her, in respect for both her and Alex, but how long could you really stay by the side of the woman you love and your friend who's insistent on taking care of her?

No offense to Alex but you've done a better job in doing so but something from you would never be seen as romantically until you actually, physically kiss her or confess your feelings.

It was clear Alex cared for her but was it enough? You can't help but feel you can do more, far more than anything Alex could offer her even if he tried doing so with the world..

Sometimes wondering to yourself if she'd like you if you were a guy but then again.. she likes a boy and you're not a boy.

At the end of the day, are you the one she'll choose even after everything? No.. at least you don't think...

And because there's nothing more a person would want than that one something that they cannot have, that just might be your downfall.

#farah karim x reader #farah x reader #farah cod #farah x alex #farah karim #farah karim x alex keller #farah karim x female reader #cod x reader #aethelwyne lia writes #cod headcanons #cod drabble #cod mw3 #cod mw2 #cod mwf2 #cod modern warfare #call of duty modern warfare 2 #call of duty modern warfare #call of duty #Spotify

[torchship-rpg]

Dev Diary 12 - Destructive Testing

Breaking from the usual format for this one, and it’s going to be a bit shorter, but this is important.

At the beginning of November was Metatopia, a convention dedicated to playtesting roleplaying games. It’s an excellent place to go to break games in order to fix them stronger than ever, and in that respect Torchship did not disappoint. While its parts all worked beautifully, there were some issues with the connective tissue tying it; the game needed a stronger mechanical framework to put these pieces into.

With that in mind, we’ve started a new draft of Torchship designed to be rapidly playtested and iterated, into which all the other stuff we’ve built up can be plugged back. This new draft focuses particularly hard on making sure the game’s fundamental tablefeel is strong, that you always know what to do and where to go next.

Which is to say, fans of my games having big circles in them somewhere? There’s a big circle in this one now too. Torchship now has two distinct modes; an Action mode where you go out and gather information, and a Reflection portion where that information is managed, damage gets fixed, and plans are made. Action takes the form of ongoing narrative play, dropping into turn-based combat when needed, where Reflection takes place in a series of special scenes called Vignettes to represent timeskips, with more impactful ‘Resupply’ Vignettes acting in some ways as bridges between episodes or story arcs.

While it may sound similar to some of our previous games, this isn’t like in Flying Circus where each part of the Routine is a commitment to a certain kind of gameplay before you can go back. You’re able to switch between the two pretty readily; so long as there’s nothing bearing down on you this minute, you can go into Reflection and play out Vignettes, with the number available before you need to go back into Action depending on the in-universe time until the next important thing.

This structure imitates the back and forth you see in many episodes of Star Trek. To use Devil in the Dark as an example, the Action scenes are things like arriving at the planet to meet with the staff, or going out into the cave to track down what’s killing the miners. When they go back to talk about their findings, prep security crews, or bring in new resources, that’s Reflection. It covers your beloved TNG meeting room scenes, the cut to sickbay as we find out what happened to the redshirt, and the montages of inventing or building the tools that’ll solve this week’s problems.

As part of these rewrites, some parts of the game have been modified from previous dev diaries. We’ve simplified the way Harm works; you now have two Harm tracks, Injury and Panic, and a new accumulating penalty called Strain which builds up quickly as you make checks or use medicine to manage the other tracks or boost your abilities. Strain is easy to clear so long as you have supplies available, so it acts to pace out scenes and give less-skilled characters a reason to roll; if you know there’s a lot of a certain kind of work ahead, you might want to save your expert for the rolls which really matter!

(Radiation no longer uses a whole track, but instead consists of a small card the GM can hand you entitled “Congratulations, you’ve been irradiated!” with a list of dosage effects.)

A variety of changes large and small have emerged from these changes. Relationships act as an excellent starting point for Vignettes, while access to meetings have let us place restrictions on the number of checklists out on the field at a time, as you can always call meetings to retire checklists, propose others, and figure out what your next Big Question is about the mission. We’ve created a new XP system where you train skills directly by using them, with the pace of advancement limited on a per-episode basis to encourage you to play wide and learn new things.

Finally, we’ve come up with a neat solution to one of the longstanding problems that original sci-fi games often run into, where players are unsure what their technology can do, resulting in decision paralysis. We’ve added a very distinct CAN & CAN’T field on the info cards which lists exactly what everything does and what their limitations are so you can jump straight in without slowing the game to ask the GM where the boundaries are. 

Things are bound to change more over time as the game is refined and tested, but that’s a good thing. Good games take time, revision, and a willingness to recognize and rewrite when things aren’t working as well as they could.

#torchship #dev diary #ttrpg #torchship ttrpg #rpg #oops game broke

[chungledown-bimothy]

I will say as someone who thinks not infrequently about the ethics of thirsting after brennan lee mulligan, i don't think you've taken it too far at all. Being attracted to him is fine and so is expressing it to a certain degree and it's clear to me at least that you like, respect him as a creator outside of being attracted to him and you have a good sense of boundaries when it comes to talking about it. I'm sorry that you're feeling weird about it (as have I, especially as thirsting after brennan has seemingly become more common - before I felt more comfortable with it at least in part because it felt like something that wasn't so prevalent within the community that it would reach dropout themselves. Now that it has gotten to that point I do feel slightly less comfortable with it, but I don't think it's inherently a bad thing especially on an individual basis.) All that to say there's nothing wrong with you being attracted to him and while it'd be totally understandable if you were to stop talking about that, I don't think you should feel ashamed of how you've behaved about it. I'm sorry that you're having a bad time right now and I hope you can work through it in a way that makes you feel better.

"it's clear to me at least that you like, respect him as a creator outside of being attracted to him"

that not being clear was the crux of my anxiety about the whole thing. because it really is 90% the appreciation and respect for him as a storyteller and comedian and gm, and 10% thirst.

thank you so much <3

side note, i very much like how multiple people have mentioned having similar thoughts/concerns. idk if it's indicative of the fandom at large or just this corner of it, but that thoughtfulness and respect is really cool of us, i think.

[v-era-18]

HoneyBee

Chapter Five: Respect

‘Respect is important-but the higher power knows nothing about that’-Mikaela Banes 

5

Mad wouldn’t be the proper words to describe the sheer emotions she was feeling at the moment. This was the second time she was placed in handcuffs thanks to the boy who sat on the other side of Mikaela in the backseat. Her arms ached in the position she sat in, knees placed together in cramped fashion due to the driver's seat being rolled back a bit. Livid-yes that was the word (Y/n) wanted to use. 

“Comfortable?” Simmons joked, he was met with an icy glare before the eyes traveled back to the window beside them, “I see you’re the smart one out of the three of them. You haven't said a word since we took you guys away.” 

“I'll speak when we have a lawyer,” She bit out, her voice dripping in venom from the night filled events, “None of us are going to be talking to you.” 

“Ah,” He grabbed his phone, pulling up a file with her face attached, “(Y/n) (L/n), only child-daughter of (D/n) and (M/n). Both parents tragically murdered in hit and run with the child being the only survivor, custody given to (GD/n) and (GM/n). (GD/n) died from cancer-” 

Simmons was cut off from being struck in the head with the teens right foot, the heel of her worn out sneaker connecting with his jaw. Mikeala had moved against Sam to give the girl a passage of revenge to her utmost pleasure. The agent was shocked, locking in on heated brown eyes nailing him to the seat. 

“Keep my family's name-out your fucking mouth!” 

He laughed nervously, “I simply read your file-” 

“Read it again, and I'll park my foot in your ass!”

“Okay-okay,” Simmons coughed and rubbed his aching jaw from the assault inflicted, “Did your alien friends teach you how to fight?” 

“What?” Sam uttered. 

“You heard me,” 

“We have no idea what you're talking about,” Mikaela lied smoothly. 

“Oh-oh, okay,” The man chuckled to himself, “Ladiesman217. That is your eBay username, right?” 

“Yeah, but, you know-it was a typo and I ran with it.” Sam's excuse was total bullshit. He needed to just tell the truth for now on. 

“What do you make of this?” The car went silent as Simmons played the tape, ultimately damning them with evidence. 

“My name is Sam Witwicky, okay? I am here with my best friend (Y/n) (L/n) and my car-“

“Is that you?” He cocked a brow. 

“Yeah that sounds like LadiesMan.” Mikaela stated simply. Sam rolled his eyes to hide his embarrassment. 

“Last night at the station, you told the officer your car transformed. And that girl over there,” The man pointed to (Y/n), “Said she had evidence that they’ve been here for years.”

He looked between the three of them, “Enlighten me.” 

“Well, here’s what I said, okay?” Sam laughed nervously, “‘Cause this is a total misunderstanding that my car had been stolen-“ 

“Really?” 

“From me, from my home, but it’s fine now because it’s back! It came back!” 

Mikaela noticed his error and decided to help, “Well, not by itself-“ 

“Well-no”

“Because cars don’t do that, because that would be crazy.” She started to laugh. 

All of them joined in except (Y/n), the said girl looked at them completely done with the situation. 

“That’s funny, that’s funny” Simmons went back serious, “So again, what do you kids know about aliens, huh?” 

“Oh you mean, like a Martian? Like what, E.T? No.” Sam denied. 

“It’s an urban legend.” Mikaela backed up. 

“Yeah.” 

“You see this,” he held up his badge, “this is an ‘I can do whatever I want and get away with it badge’” 

Oh we know, you guys use it enough already. 

“Right,” Sam's face went stoic, ultimately fed up putting up a front. 

“I’m gonna lock you up forever.” 

(Y/n) closed in on herself in the seat, Sam was ready to choke the man, he knew that he was directly targeting her with that statement. He felt ashamed with how he 

“Oh, god. You know what?  Don’t listen to him.” Mikaela snapped, “He’s just pissy cause he’s got to get back to guarding the mall.” 

“You, in the training bra, do not test me.” The man quipped, “especially with your daddy’s parole coming up.” 

“What?” Sam uttered, “Parole?” 

“Sam,” (Y/n) tried, her voice was dry. 

“It’s nothing,” Banes lied. 

“Oh, grand theft auto, that ain’t nothin?” 

The girl sighed looking towards the two best friends, “You know those cars my dad used to teach me to fix? Well-they-they weren’t always his.” 

“You stole cars?” 

“I know they had good reason,” (Y/n) defended the girl. 

“Well, we couldn’t always afford a babysitter, so sometimes he had to take me along.” 

“She’s got her own Juvie record to prove it!” The man exclaimed, “she’s a criminal! Criminals are hot.” 

(Y/n) rolled her eyes in frustration, “ do you ever shut up?” 

He ignored her, “That’d be a real shame if he had to rot in jail for the rest of his natural life. It’s is time to talk!” 

Suddenly the car was hit, causing them to spin to a skidding stop. The three teens screamed in response, (Y/n) was more than prepared to see a decepticon emerge on the other side. Everyone in the car ducked upon large metal hands emerging through the windows and tearing off the car roof. 

Upon looking up (Y/n) broke out into a grateful smile, it was no other than the leader of the Autobots himself who stopped the vehicle. Although he maybe could’ve done it a lot safer. 

“You A-holes are in trouble now.” Sam smirked, “Gentleman, I want to introduce you to our friend, Optimus Prime.” His best friend smiled at his growing confidence, something about the two of them knowing the importance of their decisions was starting to have an effect. Sam was growing-slowly-but the signs were there. The prime slowly stood up in front of the car, inspecting the three teens in the backseat, his eyes staying on (Y/n) longer due to her dazed look. 

“Taking the children was a bad move,” Optimus stated, “Autobots, relieve them of their weapons.” 

The rest of the Autobots emerged, shocking the rest of the government men. (Y/n) felt her worries wash away for a minute, she looked over seeing Ironhide nod to her, pleased to see that she was safe. She smiled in response, glad to see she wasn't on the big man's bad side as she originally thought. 

“Freeze,” Ironhide pointed his cannons, as a reflex the teens ducked their heads-although they weren't the ones in danger they knew the familiarity of the heat. 

“Whoa! Whoa!” 

“Gimme those!” Jazz took the weapons away. (Y/n)’s inner child screamed at the sight with questions on her tongue, ‘that had to have been a giant magnet or is it his hand naturally capable of doing that-’ 

Optimus kneeled down to the vehicle his faceplate could be read as furious. 

“Hi there.” Simmons uttered with an awkward smile.

All nice now that you realize you fucked up. 

“You don’t seem afraid. Are you not surprised to see us?” The Prime questioned. 

The man shrugged nervously, “Look there are S-Seven protocols, okay? I’m not authorized to communicate with you except to tell you I can’t communicate with you.” 

That wasn’t a good answer. 

“Get out of the car.” The order sent chills down the human’s spines. 

“All right. Me? You want me to get-“ 

“Now!” 

The voice made the girl immediately try to get out of the car , it was that effective. She read that Primes could be terrifying, but she thought Optimus was an exception to that. She was extremely wrong. 

Mikaela started to work on (Y/n)s handcuffs first, “Thank you” the girl whispered in thanks. Mikaela could feel the weight of gratitude the girl had expressed alone in her words as well as the hug afterwards. 

She worked on Sam's next, “You’re good with handcuffs, too, now, huh?” This caused the girl to cringe at the boy's words, they weren't rough, just smart. The embarrassment set in of what her new friends knew about her and her past. 

“You weren’t supposed to hear all that.” 

“Yeah,” was all the boy could give as a response at the moment. He really couldn't think about Mikealas feelings at the moment 

Sam grabbed (Y/n)’s face, turning it side to side to make sure there were no injuries. After the way those men were handling her he was on edge, after all these years Sam hasn't lost his overprotective touch. “Thank god you’re okay.” He whispered, pulling her into a hug. 

She hugged him back. 

Mikaela came forward looking at the two friends in confidence, “I have a record because I wouldn’t turn my dad in. When do you have to sacrifice anything in your perfect little life?” 

(Y/n) shook her head, “Mikaela, your past doesn't make us view you any different. Those guys are assholes that don't have any respect.” 

“Yeah,” Mikaela laughed bitterly, “Respect is important-but the higher power knows nothing about that.”

“What is Sector Seven?” Sam stalked up to Simmons, “Answer me.” The boy was done from the past hour, the fact of the matter is-he was holding his anger back. All he could think about was his friend going limp and he couldn't do anything about it. He felt weak-useless! His friend couldn't breathe and he couldn't do anything about it. 

“I’m the one who asks questions around here. Not you, young man!” Simmons scoffed. This only caused Sam to step forward, his face growing red, the only thing that stopped him was the brunette placing a firm hand on his chest. 

Mikeala stepped in, her anger radiating, “ How’d you know about the aliens?” 

“Where did you take my parents?” Sam demanded answers again. 

“I am not at liberty to discuss it.” The agent avoided answering once more. During this time (Y/n) felt a bit faint, shaking her head to get rid of the fog she looked around till she saw the faint outlines of black and yellow. With wobbly legs she made over to get guardian, causing him to look down and cock his head at her state-his optics narrowing slightly. Something was wrong. 

“No?” Sam dove into the man’s pockets. 

“Hey! You touch me, that's a federal offense,” the agent snarked. 

Sam held the badge up to Simmons face, boldness radiating off of him, “‘Do whatever you want and get away with it’, right?”

Simmons scoffed, “Yeah. Brave now all of a sudden, with his big alien friend standing over there.” 

Sam ignored him, “Where is Sector Seven?” 

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” 

Bumblebee kneeled down, trying to get a better look at his charge as she wobbled back and forth with her balance. Offering a servo the girl took it, using it to lay against in order not to fall. Mikaela noticed the interaction and immediately walked away from Sam gaining his attention. 

“(Y/n)?!” Mikaela took the girl's face in her hands before continuing to check her pulse, “Are you okay? Do you need to sit down-?”

“Shit!” Sam raced over towards her, “She usually takes her anxiety meds after an attack, she needs proper medical attention-“

“We already gave it if you were paying attention.” One of the agents spoke up. The way the teen boy turned so fast was dizzying. Anger practically radiated off of him. 

Mikaela turned towards Ratchet, her expression desperate, “Have you checked about human anatomy? O-or possible medical conditions?!” The medic stepped forward and started scanning (Y/n)‘s body, judging from his sudden stiff stance it wasn’t good. 

“She’s highly malnourished and experiencing high fatigue. The effects from this ‘anxiety attack’ has left the body weak and slow to respond,” The autobots turned to Ratchet in shock, it hasn't even been three hours yet and their Storyteller was already experiencing harsh effects of war. 

Bumblebee froze before heatedly turning to the government men in front of them, ‘Are you *bleep* serious?!’. The radio within the bot was switching between channels fast for him to find a proper response for this situation, however he couldn't find any. His anger was spilling over by the minute. 

Sam turned to Bumblebee, his face red, “No you heard it right!” The teen boy pointed to the two FBI agents that grabbed her earlier along with Simmons berating, “Those fucking idiots were the ones who caused it! The ones who are supposedly supposed to protect our people-our nation?!” 

Simmons seemed to grow nervous, looking at (Y/n)’s state as she was practically being held up by Mikaela, “I-It was a mistake on my part-I skipped her medical file-,” 

“Oh! So you run background checks on her family but don't bother to check her medical file on severe anxiety? And you call yourself an Agent-?” Sam cut off looking right behind Simmons, a quirk of a smile appearing as they all heard an abrupt pop. 

A disgusted breath left the older male as he felt himself drenched with what appeared to be gasoline, “Hey-Hey! Get that thing to stop, huh?”

Optimus frowned at his scouts actions, “Bumblebee, stop lubricating the man.” He understood why he was upset-they all did. However there were more approaches to the situation at hand they could do. The scout simply shrugged, turning back to his charge faintly smiling at him the best she could. 

Ratchet was kneeling before her giving instructions on what to do for her condition until they could get her to be properly treated. (Y/n) proceeded to do the breathing methods along with telling herself a story to distract herself from what was going on around her. Bumblebee stood on the side for support, watching her chest rise and fall at a good pace as well as making sure her balance was okay. It wasn't long before all the government men were seated that her breathing and body gained some strength back. 

“All right, tough guy,” Mikaela waltzed over to Simmons, “Take it off.” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“Your clothes, all of it, off.” The brunette demanded once more. 

Simmons was beyond pissed, “For what?!” 

She took a deep breath before responding, gathering all the patience she needed from tonight, “For threatening my dad,” She then proceeded to point to (Y/n)-the girl walking back over to the scene, “And for disrespecting (Y/n).” 

The man took a long look between the three teens, his eyes unforgiving. It wasn't long before he started to do as he was told, “Little lady, this is the beginning of the end of your life.” Mikaela simply nodded, already ready for the consequences that would unfold from this. “You're a criminal. Let's face facts. It's in her gene pool-”

“You got a lot of mouth from someone with hideous underwear like that,” (Y/n)s face scrunched up in distaste. 

“Now get behind the pole.” Mikaela ordered next. 

“This is such a felony what you're doing,” The other man said, his stance prideful. 

‘This bitch.’

(Y/n) looked him dead in the eye, the brown iris screaming in anger, “You guys commit felonies everyday but get off scot free because of your privilege. Don't talk to us about felonies. You lost that right forty minutes ago.”  

Simmons turned to her and Sam, “I will hunt you down, okay? He'll hunt you down.” Sam simply replied with a nod. His threats aren't working, “Without any remorse! No remorse.” 

 (Y/n) froze as she heard it, the distant sounds of helicopters flying overhead and cars revving in the distance, “Uhh-guy’s! It's time to go!” 

Ironhide heard it as well, “Optimus! Incoming!”, he slammed his servo on the ground causing a rippled effect of electricity to slow them down. 

The autobots started to transform, leaving the three teens to look at the vehicles in pursuit anxiously. (Y/n) held the necklace on her chest, her heart hammering as her body still felt weak. If she needed to make a run for it she wouldn't get that far, she knew that for a fact-but if they-.

“Roll out,” Optimus orders the autobots, the screeching of tires filling their ears as they make their escape leaving them with the Prime. The leader lowered his hand, making (Y/n)s nerves go on edge, “Up you get.” In her mind it wouldn't make more sense for him to transform and the three of them claymore in, it would save the big rig a lot of time and be more discreet around the humans. 

Not gonna argue right now. 

Each of them climbed onto the Primes hand, before he lifted them up to his shoulders making haste on foot. OPtimus begins to run around the bridge, the helicopter's lights landing on them as the three teens try to hang on tight to whatere piece of metal on his shoulders that they could find.  It wasn't long before he headed through the street, cars honking and skidding to a stop in order to not be crushed underneath. 

“Oh my god,” (Y/n) gasped, she tried closing her eyes but she could hear it all. From the cruising of gravel to the endless screeching of tires and helicopter blades. 

Optimus finally was able to lose them, hiding underneath the bridge high enough from the helicopters and cars so they wouldn't detect them. There was on problem. Gravity. 

“Easy you three,” The prime tried to comfort, he could hear their panicked breaths in his audio receptors, concentrating especially  on (Y/n) considering her current condition. Optimus shifted slightly trying to get a better grip, accidently knocking the three-of-them hanging off a piece of his shoulder like a loose thread. 

“Oh my god! Sam no!” (Y/n) was hanging onto Mikealas hips, tears streaming down her face as a helicopter passed too close underneath her. 

“No! NO! No, Sam!” Mikeala tried to grab the boy's other arm making sure the girl holding her wouldn't fall, “Sam don’t drop us!” 

“Oh God!” 

“Sam, don’t! Sam, dont!” She tried to get a better grip, her fear pumping into her stomach as she thought about the girl at her hip, “ I’m slipping! I’m slipping!” 

“Mikeala don't you dare! Please don't let go!”

It was too late Sam lost his grip, causing the rest of them to scream the ground coming fast, “Hold on!” Optimus tried to catch them with his feet but was unsuccessful with them, being unable to grip in time. 

With some hope for a miracle (Y/n) screamed “Bumblebee!” 

A flash a black and yellow reached her peripherals before she felt herself being jostled a little. Her and Sam both held on to one another as they felt Bumblebee hit the ground coming to a skidding stop. 

It wasn't long before they heard the copters  again and the revving of engines, (Y/n) looked up at Bumblebee, her thoughts racing wild as she feared for his safety. “Bee you have to go now!”

“Stop! Stop!” Sam’s pleas were going unheard as they continued to fly overhead. The first cannon was shot and locked on, pulling the scout in another direction, “Wait! NO!” 

“Take the shot! Get him! Take the shot!” 

“Stop! No! Don't hurt him!,” (Y/n) raced forward but was pulled back by Mikaela, her grip strong, “Let me go! Bumblebee!” The second one was released-his other arm, the the third-one of his legs. She could hear it-the painful whirrs he was letting out from the assault-the worst part is this. He wasn't fighting back. He wasn't a threat to them. 

The final shot flipped him completely off his feet leaving the girl in shock, her resolve crumbling, “Bee, you have to fight back! You hear me! Fight back!” (Y/n)s screams were useless underneath how loud the blades were, each second that went by hearing her protector in pain caused her great turmoil.  

The cars arrived, blocking the exits from the scene before them. Sam pulled the two girls behind him, making sure to have a firm grip on his best friend so she wouldn't run to the scout, “No! Stop!” 

Guns. It was the guns that made everything humbling, so frightening. That's all she could see around her from each man in black-badges on full display. “Get down on the ground! Get down! Get down!” The three teens' hands went up, slowly getting down on their knees in defeat. It wasn't enough for them as they were shoved down to the pavement, groans of discomfort leaving their lips, (Y/n) didnt care-she was too focused on the black and yellow mech groaning in pain- not making any effort to escape. 

“Look! Please! He's not fighting back!” The afro haired cried, “You're hurting him!” 

Her screams were ignored once more, only to be covered up with another chilling command, “Freeze it! Freeze it! Freeze it!” 

They were pulled up, giving them a full view of the white smoke being blasted at him, Sam's screams filling the air, “Stop hurting him!”. Bumblebee fell to the ground, pained groans and whirrs filling the air as the girl's heart ripped in two. For a brief moment she didn't see the mech on the ground she could see another scene, a small framed femme trying to crawl away, two bodies laying waste in her arms as the men surrounded her. The surroundings were different. Instead of a bridge it was street lights and open roads-stores. 

They had done this before. They had done this the night of her parents' deaths. And it definitely won't happen again tonight!

(Y/n) kicked the officer from behind, quickly making her way over to the black and yellow mech before them. It was blind rage, she could feel it, from the way she grabbed the house aiming it to the other men, one going down after she proceeded to kick him repeatedly. An officer tried to grab her, only for her to grab his baton and whack him with it, a resounding crack following. The best thing is she wasn't alone fighting for this mech's life-Sam and joined in hosing down another group of men as well, before being taken down by two other men. 

She got through, getting in the scouts face-his optics focused on her, “Bee get up! You got to get-” Her sentence was cut short as he was grabbed from behind her mouth covered, before being pushed to the ground to be handcuffed. She fought back her fight not leaving her much to the officers dismay. 

It was a domino effect, once she was pushed to the ground, they heard it. The angry whirrs from the scout was unmatched as he started to pull the helicopters down with him. (Y/n) looked over eyes catching optics as it seemed like he was trying to get to her, one copter was successfully pulled down it crashing on pace. It didn't explode, which was a good thing but it only got worse for the bot as another  copter hooked him again pulling back down with more force this time. 

No…

The girl let out a sob in defeat, her efforts were in vain for her protector couldn't be saved with her own hands. Sam was stopped in front of Simmons-the agent had a satisfied smile on his face, “Happy to see me again?” 

“I'd rather jump from that bridge,” (Y/n) scowled. 

Simmions simply cocked his head at her, “Put them in the car with their little criminal friend.” The two were ushered into the car, (Y/n) in the middle with Sam and Mikaela on either side of her. The afro hairs slammed her head back in frustration at the agent's next words, “I want that thing frozen and ready for transport.” 

(Y/n) sobbed, “They're gonna do Bee just like they did Estel,” She turned to Sam, her expressions telling it all, “They're gonna freeze him and experiment on him.” 

The witwicky shook his head, “We're not letting that happen, I promise,” He looked her in the eyes-they didn't waver this time causing her heart to swell, “And this time-i'm not breaking it.” 

The cars pulled away the helicopters following in tow giving the green light for the autobots to emerge from hiding. Jazz was the first one to transform, scoping the area, “Hang back let me check it out,” He climbed down to underneath the bridge where Optimus was hiding. “Optimus, are we just gonna stand here and do nothing?” 

“There's no way to free Bumblebee without harming the humans,” Was the Primes reply. 

“But it's not right. He-” 

“Let them leave.” The leader finalized, his tone filled with sorrow. He looked down before picking up the glasses they sacrificed so much to obtain, only to realize the book was still with the girl. 

Their storyteller in the hands of the humans with the book was risking, but they trust her with their lives. With the way she fought hard to protect Bumblebee in her weak state-they'd be fools not to. 

~ ✯ ~

(Y/n) sat across the other man and women on the helicopter nervously. She had never flown from so high before and she didn't think today was going to be the day she got to experience it. The night had quickly turned into day signifying she needed a long day of sleep in the comfort of her room snuggled up into one of her bears. Mikaela and Sam sat on either side of her once more, not giving her the glory of seeing the view down below, she guessed she shouldn't be complaining so much. She didn't know if she had a fear of heights, and today she didn't want to find out. 

“So,” Sam started the conversation. 

The blonde woman nodded in understanding, “What do they get you for?” 

“Uh,” He turned to (Y/n) an awkward smile on his face, “I bought a car. Turned out to be an alien robot, and uh she-” 

“My family has been associated with them for god knows how long,” His best friend finished for him. 

‘Wow’ the man mouthed. 

“Who knew?” He smiled, (Y/n) as well finally finding a tad bit of humor in their situation. 

It wasn't long before they reached their location, the dam came into view with tourists becoming more apparent. With getting out of the vehicle the group of teens got a good view of their location, it was beautiful, if that's what anyone wanted to hear. 

“This is not my idea of a vacation?” (Y/n) muttered, “I would rather to go to disney world than here,”  

Sam laughed, “Shes finally back,” 

“Meh,” The girl shrugged, “Just trying to make the best out of a shitty situation.” 

The three of them followed the men, soon being met with the sight of Simmons, erasing the easy expression on the girl's face. She could still hear her protector's groans of pain in her head, ikt was even worse with the image of him reaching out to her, pulling down a helicopter in the process. 

“Hey kids,” He looked between the two best friends, “I think we got off to a bad start huh?” 

“A bad start would be an understatement,” The afro haired huffed. 

He shrugged, playing nice, “You guys must be hungry,” he placed a hand on Sam’s shoulder, the boy growing annoyed, “You want a latte? HoHo? Double venti macchiato-?” 

“Where's my car?” Sam questioned, “No better yet wheres my friend-” 

Another man stepped forward, “Son, I need you to listen to me very carefully. People can die here.” He turned to (Y/n), “We need to know everything you know. We need to know it now.” 

“No-” 

“Okay,” 

“Sam!” (Y/n) hissed, “What are you-?” 

“But, first I'll take my car, my parents. Maybe you should write that down,” The boy replied, “Oh, and her juvie record. That's got to be gone. Like, forever.” 

He turned to his best friend, “Anything you want to add (Y/n)? Since you know you're the one with all the history that these guys need to know,” the boy turned back to the other man with a smile on his face, “This girl beside me was raised on this stuff, She’s a (L/n)-learn to remember.” 

The man froze for a minute, turning back to the girl, “(L/n)? Daughter of (D/n) (L/n)?” (Y/n) nodded, biting her lower lip from the man's intense stare. The man pointed to her looking at Simmons, “Get that girl whatever she wants immediately, her uncle is practically a veteran here and her family are legends.” 

“And you son, come with me. We'll talk about your car,” 

#bumblebee x black reader #bumblebee x reader #bumblebee #transformers x reader #transformers bayverse #transformers #transformers optimus #honeybee #Youtube

[utilitycaster]

Oof, the first half of the episode is a little rough ngl. I like the second half with Aabria a lot more. The first group does get better as the episodes go on if that helps at all.

Also, to add a bit more context to Kollok: the creators - Hyper RPG - are filmmaking nerds and are mostly known on Twitch for their various virtual productions.

So Kollok has a lot of those post production visual effects and sound effects, which is them using their strengths to create a show, similar to CR and voice acting and D20 and improv comedy.

Obviously that's not gonna be everyone's cup of tea and it can get a little too much I admit, but it's not that bad of a show.

Hi anon,

I am...not sure if you read this in the necessary context (this provides some, and this some more, and if I'm being totally honest based on this I don't feel like you read my entire weird rant, which to be fair, it is long and weird but covers quite a lot of issues I have) but I am coming in with the premise of "I think heavy post production of actual play is a poor choice." It don't care that it's their strength; I think that if that's your strength you would do better to apply it to scripted works or to improvised non-actual play shows.

I will freely admit that I went in expecting it not to be my cup of tea for that reason, and with an added grudge of "being hyped up and cited as brilliant by Polygon's AP/TTRPG team, with whom I almost always disagree," but did genuinely want to give it a shot in as good faith as I could muster, instead of solely talking shit about. I hoped the acting, premise, and GM-ing might shine through even though the effects were unlikely to win me over and indeed were likely to annoy me.

That was not the case. I found the GM-ing (Driving?) style profoundly grating and pretentious (and I have a very high tolerance for pretension), the premise nothing to write home about, and honestly I don't know jack about sound mixing but I do know I have perfectly good hearing and had to crank my laptop speakers up to higher than I have to for CR or D20 for the prologue to the prologue only to subsequently hear some of the most irritating static sounds at top volume for the prologue, so I'm not even impressed by the production.

And to be clear: that's all fine. I think people are drawn to different aspects in actual play, and there's room for all sorts of shows. I might even finish this episode simply because if I were recommending something to someone else, and they quit an hour into a 3.5 hour episode, I'd feel a little miffed. But I really don't expect it to ever be my thing, and I watched it mostly because it felt uninformed to be criticizing heavy production in actual play without watching a notably deliberately heavily produced actual play show.

I do want to wrap up, and this isn't specifically directed at you but: when it comes to my opinions on a work, I'm not going to say I'm never going to be swayed by an anon ask because who knows, it could happen, but it's very unlikely. If I dislike something, I don't really care if other people like it - I'd never send anons or get on their posts or maintag something like the post I just made (and which I made nonrebloggable specifically to prevent it from spreading into fan spaces) but I hope that people who like something can show me the same respect and permit my dislike. If you're a fan I will not be offended nor resentful if you unfollow or block me or whatever you need to do, but I can pretty confidently say that new cast members or improved acting will not change the fact that this is extremely not for me.

#answered #Anonymous

[female-buckets]

Yeah, so Skylar sounded pretty darn credible and earnest in that press conference today, and said all the right things. She for sure played a part in whatever went down, but your precious Mercury don’t come off too well after that listen. Now I’m sure you’ll find a way to not hold them (or DT) accountable, but I think she’s looking for a fresh start, and after hearing her talk, I’m a lot more excited for the Storms chances this year. And I hope when they play Mercury, she goes off and has a career level game and hits 3 after 3 right in Diana’s face. Oh wait, what am I saying? Dee will only play like 12 games this season,and she’ll make sure the Storm are on her “load management” days.

I listened to the entire press conference and Skylar didn't say anything about the Mercury. She said she wanted to retire when her daughter was born in Spring 2023. But then Bridget Pettis inspired her to get back in game shape.

Bridget Pettis works the Mercury training camp each year in addition to Mercury charity events. And she's helping with the Mercury all-star game. The Mercury is her franchise. Her jersey is in the rafters.

The relationship between the Mercury front office and Skylar disintegrated in October 2022. That's when the bridge burned. That's when GM Jim Pitman started referring to Skylar as "on contract" rather than "on the team." After that, the Mercury wouldn't say anything about Skylar other than "she's on contract." Skylar later tweeted about that "on contract" arrangement. The franchise told her she would have no relationship with the Suns or Mercury outside of receiving her paycheck. After she tweeted that, the Mercury clarified that arrangement had nothing to do with her pregnancy. They locked her out of the franchise because the relationship between Skylar and the front office collapsed. The WNBPA looked into this during the 2023 season and found no CBA violations.

Basically, the Mercury and Suns fired her from her jobs as a player and broadcaster. But her contract was protected. So they gave her the option to stay and collect the check or accept a trade. She turned down the trades and chose to stay in Phoenix and collect the check.

Atlanta did a similar thing to Chennedy Carter in 2021 after she punched Courtney Williams. They locked her out of the franchise while paying her. That's allowed under the CBA.

During the 2023 season, the Mercury said officially that Skylar was on maternity leave. The maternity leave accommodations in the CBA match exactly what Phoenix did. A paycheck. That's it. There's no mention of facilities or athletic support in the CBA.

I'm a Storm fan and I'm glad Skylar is on my team. I saw her play in person in 2022 and she was fiery, fun, and entertaining. I recommend buying tickets to see her in person.

Skylar also blocked me because I like a lot of UConn tweets. She went through the likes of some UConn tweet she didn't like and blocked everyone. That's why I refer to her as a frenemy. I like her but she blocked me for no good reason. I would love to know what exactly happened during the 2022/23 offseason. But if Skylar wants to move on, I'll respect that.

[starry-eyed-butch]

Looking at my blocked messages (mistake) and my GM being like "off the record this isn't you what's really going on, this isn't the relationship we have"

Ma'am you immediately threw me under the bus to be "suspended pending investigation" because I "no called, no showed" except you didn't read the email correctly and looked like a fool and I wasn't supposed to actually be there TIL THE NEXT FUCKING DAY.

THAT is the relationship we have, 0 respect. I owe you nothing.

[3pblueberry]

look, i need to say this somewhere or i'll explode. candela obscura spoilers kinda.

to say that i disagree with spenser's game decisions would be an understatement. in this essay i will,

(first off, don't read this if you liked the guy's style! i'm not about needless pettiness, i just need to get this off my chest so i can go to sleep tonight. i see you, and i respect you, and i'm genuinely glad you enjoyed something i wasn't able to!)

but anyway

two main things i disagree with:

he doesn't honor player choices, choosing his own narrative over the top of their actions every time

he doesn't honor player successes. even on a six (full success) he still deals out a frankly preposterous amount of damage. invariably, on a mixed success they also will ALWAYS take damage. this fucks up the statistics.

there's a bunch more little things (dodging player questions, refusing to allow clever tactics - general hallmarks of the frustrating gm) but these are getting into nitpicky territory so i won't go on.

my analysis of the issue boils down to this: spenser is a good horror storyteller. but he is a bad horror game master.

let's break that down. the point of a game is to be an experience. and the point of horror, as a genre, is to be scared in a safe environment. to have an outlet for rage, and fear, and all ugly emotions.

all games are concerned, at their core, with a simple question: what does this game choose to punish or reward? sometimes it's in the rules, e.g. 'killing monsters gives you loot'. sometimes it's an unspoken question, e.g. 'my gm likes when we think our way around things rather than fighting all the time'.

the way spenser runs his game - always punishing mixed successes, and sometimes even punishing full successes - he destroys the core of a punishment/reward system by reducing it entirely to a system of punishment.

this might sound fine for a horror game. (for some people, i bet it is). but as a person who enjoys playing punishing games (pathalogic cough) a great deal of the appeal is that your struggle has meaning beyond your own survival. when the struggle is simply futile no matter what, well... why bother at all?

in other words, when you punish everything your players attempt to do, you encourage them to do nothing. in real life, this is when people walk away from the table, or develop suicidal characters

so much for game design. here is how he fails on a storytelling level. his goal, in most scenes, is to kill his characters. so there's no wider stakes. oh, he creates tension, and frustration - sure. man knows how to ramp up a scene. good storyteller, remember? but it's not his story that matters to us. it's the characters.

spenser refuses to honor player choices in a meaningful, narrative way.

in fact, that is the exact cause of our frustration!

and as far as spenser would have it, the characters will die, or remain helpless, and so our frustration has no outlet.

still, having laid all that out, i wonder. maybe there is catharsis in this kind of hopelessness. to become so deadened by tension and rage that you slip into a darker mental space, and you begin to long for any escape at all... you long to utilise the only agency you possess: that is, where exactly you choose to die. is there agency in that? you have to believe it, right? otherwise, what's the point? yes - why bother at all?

and maybe the story could be something. if spenser engaged with this idea. if he let go of the need to punish. but when his characters die, i have no expectation it will be anything other than inglorious, and possibly even accidental. and we will have lost a valuable story in what they might have done, if he'd let them. what answers they might have found to that age-old question: why should we bother?

to reiterate: the point of a game is to be an experience. and the point of horror, as a genre, is to be scared in a safe environment. to have an outlet for rage, and fear, and all ugly emotions.

when the goal of the game is survival, and you create an environment so punishingly tense that your characters are no longer scared of dying, they lose interest in the goal. games kinda need goals, you know? anyway, this is the experience spenser fails to deliver

to quote marisha, s2 e2. 'throw the whole quickstart guide out! throw it all away!' or at least, get a better dm to try and sell it! because i've read the guide front to back, and it's not a hopeless game system. but having a hopeless dm... yeah, you couldn't pay me to play at his table lol

rant over, keep scrolling. if you're one of the people who liked his style, that's okay and i respect it! i wish i had half the masochistic streak you do ^^

#candela obscura spoilers #i have a great deal of empathy for his position #its not easy #i get that #this is a great deal of pettiness that i hope he never sees #and you know what? i found his incompetence useful #in learnign what i don't want to do #and the kind of gm i never want to be

[traitorsinsalem]

"fantasy regions and ethnicities are not the same as real ones so any history, culture, relations, etc. should be acknowledged as being different" + "fantasy regions and ethnicities are often based directly off of real ones which is why representation of various cultural facets is often praised and harmful tropes are often criticized" could very well be about something like asian gms having fun curating cultural specifics in pathfinder's tian xia or racism and colorism in the witcher.

of course it applies to literally all fantasy settings but for me it's about me rubbing my hands all over mianite s2's ruxomar. ruxomar is its own whole ass dimension but names like "glede helgrind" and "akemi kikoku" don't exist in the vacuum of ruxomar and are associated with certain languages and nations (old norse and relatively modern japanese, respectively).

most of mianite s2 is very clearly based on norse mythology and terms, but the parents of the ruxomar gods both being japanese is really funny because that means these 2 japanese people just started a whole romp through a scandinavian-inspired plot. so it leaves a unique fantasy setting with very clear ties to real languages, ethnicities, and cultures with nothing necessarily to praise or criticize, just something really funny.

#succ speaks #long text #mianite #me being like ooooo freya changed her name when she moved to dagrun or married helgrind (oooooo i want to project on martha & andor so bad) #THIS CONTINUES IN ISLES BTW. everything is so clearly old norse and then the gods' mom has an asian name #the malay angurek was translated to latin angraecum which was then translated back to malay angrek

[seat-safety-switch]

I always thought it was unfair that Europeans got access to so many cool beater cars. While they're rolling around in tiny-engine-spec Mondeos and Puntos, enjoying the high life of efficient transportation, we had to make do with Cavaliers and Grand Ams. Which is not to say those latter cheap-and-surly cars were much worse, however. They just didn't hold a candle to the fun and frivolity of a good Twingo.

Part of this is because of automakers' perceptions of our respective tastes. Giant cars went to North Americans, and we used them to roll around our vast, featureless estates of nothing. Tiny hot hatches went to Europe, where they were parked in front of a milkbar and then stolen by some local teenagers (who were later accused of committing thoughtcrime.) Of course, this meant that all Europeans wanted were enormous V-8 sedans, and the only thing that we desired is a Ford Escort XR3i.

Did capitalism bridge this gap? Absolutely not. It was the fault of our governments, explained the automakers, as they dangled these tantalizing foreign delights just out of reach. They either made gasoline too expensive or too cheap using the giant dial installed in every head-of-state's office. Eventually, the Japanese saw an opening. They came to North America and obliterated these automakers with inexpensive cars that were fun to drive, and started every time. In fact, they did such a good job that they voluntarily started making their cars more expensive, to give Daddy GM a chance to catch up.

Then they turned their guns on the state-sponsored shitboxes of Greater Europe, to a somewhat lesser success, but success nonetheless. Now, if we want to be jealous that another country has a car we do not, we have to go all the way to Japan. What the hell is a Spike Mobilio, we ask ourselves, and why do I need it more than my next breath of air?

Only Renault can save us now. Bring the Twingo over here, and we'll call the whole thing even. Maybe Honda will take pity on you too!

[mylifeasaserver]

NOOOO GOD! NO GOD! PLEASE NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOO!

I distinctly remember Saturday nights at the restaurant being busier. To give you an idea what staffing was like, I had both hostesses on even though 1 would have been enough, the cook who despises servers nearly as much as I do, and 3 other servers. 

Tonight the shift supervisor needed to be drunk at home so the GM was working.

She does not appear to be a good leader.

She gets overwhelmed easily and tries to do most of it herself instead of delegating. Manager Lite tried to run the show but she’s not respected because she doesn’t do any of the things she tells the rest of us to do. And I’m an uncooperative piece of shit. So that’s on me.

The hostesses are taking turns not only clearing my tables but even running my food. I have not asked for such a thing, but I’m not going to complain. The cook keeps calling out when my food is ready because he’s A) showing that if you run the food he cooks it faster and B) showing these fucks that I’m front of the line because my food actually goes to the floor.

Meanwhile, Manager Lite is bitching at everybody that she needs help because 2 of her four tables are dirty. Nevermind that one is not sat and the other is just 2 people, she needs help and she needs it now. Nobody helps her because she does nothing for anybody else. That’s how it works. 

The shift ends, and I’m asked to go to the office to talk to the GM after I do my side work.

Side work, by the way, is still ridiculously easy and takes a whopping 10 minutes to do correctly. Manager Lite is supposed to be signing people off, but she’s too busy in the office doing...whatever that I sign myself off and collect my credit card tips. I then stop by the host stand to treat my hostesses to some fresh cash because if they’re gonna do a bunch of my work they’re gonna get a bunch of tips to go with it.

I finally meander to the office as Manager Lite leaves. She tells me to come find her when my side work is done and she’ll sign me off. I say OK, not telling her I’d already signed my own name to my paperwork and bypassed her. I figured I’d let that little surprise unveil itself.

I sit down and the GM tells me she saw how cooperative I was being with the hostesses and even the cook who she thought hated everybody. How she doesn’t know that he hates cooking when the food sits forever so he gets to remake it while a server stares at him through the window escapes me.

Then she asks me if I’ve ever thought of getting into a management position.

At one time, yes. But now? 

Not a chance in hell.

I’ve worked here again a total of what, 4 days? This can’t be because of anything I’ve done. Also: why not ask Manager Lite? Or hell even the Amazing Disappearing Dishwasher? -J

#restaurant #server

[unsleepingtales]

Wooo I’ve got my laptop back and I’m ready to rumble! Also this episode is under two hours which means I might actually finish it tonight! Onwards to Burrow’s End Episode 7 :)

Stoat facts!

I love the anti-surveillance makeup. It’s such a good statement. Aabria your mind is so powerful.

Ooh ok Siobhan’s Jaysohn-dirt has been replaced by blue streaks. Fun.

Also Jasper’s lightning bolt has become much more stylized! I love analyzing the makeup and I love how much the makeup team are so on board with themes

What a fun way to Start an episode. I am immediately stressed.

SIOBHAN’S SHIRT SAYS BORN TO LOVE MY AUNT <3

The concept of GM inspiration is so fluid I love it. Every GM treats it differently but the idea of it is just. I love what you’re trying to do so here’s a bit of help.

Erika Ishii pulling some shit right out the gate I love you

Oh that image of her claws shattering is so painful

Hello?????

What the fuck man

Aabria what do you mean an arena. Why are you calling it that.

WHAT

Oh my god okay. Okay okay okay.

(They are FRIENDS. Aabria and Erika are FRIENDS and they are STORYTELLERS and they are GOOD AT IT.)

I’m fine I’m so fine and I have a regular amount of emotions about storytellers working together and being close and knowing each other’s storytelling styles so deeply that whatever they need to do is fine

Ooh we get to see what divine sense looks like without Lila’s help!

It is so deeply satisfying and correct that they are prioritizing this. Nothing else in this strange room matters until family is taken care of.

Ooooh Lila re-spec! No longer an arcane trickster, now with two levels of wizard!

Oh that is HORRIFYING

THAT ONE HAS A GAS MASK?? AND A POPE HAT?????

Ick ick ick ick ick

They’re so big oh my god

Poor Sybil :(

Hhhhhhhhhhhhh

Diversity win I suppose

A level five arcane trickster could already cast things but yeah I get that being a wizard is exciting ok

(I am unreasonably loyal to the rogue class sorry I respect your choices Izzy)

Okay well now I have no fucking clue what you’re talking about but sure cast fog cloud go off

Why do the stoats have a pope. Why.

BRO-

Oh dear god.

They’re gonna die.

Jesus Christ those minis are horrifying

Yeah no I am Crushed that Sybil is gone.

Hmm. Concerning.

Oh my god oh my god

I am so physically uncomfortable right now actually

Like it’s fine I’m fine but AAAAA???

You just got 47 points of damage but it’s not your fight?????

Fucking excuse me

Hi, Aabria? My beloved mutual Aabria Iyengar? Politely and with all the love in my heart. What the Actual Fuck.

Ooh Secrets. That’s fun.

Oh thank god. I’m gonna cry. Yes I’m stressed about Ava and whatever the secret was that Aabria had to go around the gm screen for but yay Sybil.

BITCH WHAT

BABE HOW DID YOU DO THAT

Oh I cannot wait for adventuring party tomorrow to find out what the fuck was going on back there

Oh my god did Erika put more blue sparkly eyeshadow on while they were out of the dome. Because that’s fucking iconic holy shit.

Yo what.

OOF

Oh the wolf’s gonna go? Is the wolf gonna go Aabria? Are we sure? The wolf could just go to brunch. It could just get bellinis.

I so deeply relate to Izzy’s visible stress. This is also how I behave when I’m stressed in combat.

Also the math thing. That too.

Oh that’s Disgusting

The wolf is made of acid 😭

WHAT

Fucking excuse me. What the actual fuck.

What is with with these children and simultaneous nat 1s

Mage Slayer 👀

I love it when they use things that I then get to deep dive research

HELLO?

Oh my fucking god.

Some feats are OP and some are real fucking specific

Oh we love a channel divinity moment here

I am so tense

HELLO????????????

THE WOLF OF THESEUS????

AABRIA. AABRIA.

Yeah no gas mask stoat freaks me the fuck out.

THIS DOESN’T FEEL LIKE MY PROBLEM 💀💀💀

We’re cheering for mediocrity at this point. Yeah.

What does that mean. Help me.

Oh yeah Thorn take control of the wolf?? Was that the hint??

What a fucking horrifying creature

23 AC??? Holy shit

The editing is going to make me lose my mind

Oh jesus

YES LAY ON HANDS???

That’s so cool

I love how willing Aabria is to roll with their shenanigans

Babe your kid has two hit points??

This is so deeply troubling.

Oh dear god

“The radical change that can happen when you are kind in the face of doom can change the battlefield.”

Them <3

Ok thank you

I jump normally 🤬 I’m normal 👹

NECROTIC??? Ava deals necrotic now??

Hellish rebuke?? What’s their patron?? Is this a homebrew stoat thing allowing them to use a warlock spell as a non warlock or are they a warlock and if they are a warlock what is their patron is it the blue I need to know please

Oh my GOD

What is this bit I love it

Thank you Siobhan <3

Oh Tula takes control of the wolf?? Sick.

What the fuck man

Oh noooooo

Rashawn the person cast vicious mockery

The rules lawyers are rules lawyering

That is funny and that did happen

Jesus Christ

What a powerful way of saying that

HELL YEAH

Aaaaaaaaaaaa

Damn

Oh shiiiiiiiiit

OH SHIT

I love Dungeons and Dragons guys. I really love this game.

She???

Concerning. Hm.

Would curing a disease work or just fully kill her

What the fuck. What the actual fuck Aabria and Brennan and oh my god I’m gonna lose my goddamn mind

Oh my god jesus FUCKING christ I’m gonna lose it I have lost it I’m not gonna SLEEP tonight and that’s a PROBLEM

Anyway. Great episode gang. Nice job. Can’t wait for the talkback. To discuss. Whatever the fuck that was.

#verbal component #reactions #burrow's end #burrow’s end

[crow-the-unknown]

the vibes/aesthetics i get from my nhl teams

Pittsburgh Penguins: There's something almost nostalgic, even though I'm a very new hockey fan, and very comforting about them all. The legacy Sid and so many of the others have with those cup wins and runs is something that sticks. Their overall feel is very soft and proud, very family-like. The best comparison I could make for that would be to the Weasley's from Harry Potter. But there's also this intensity on the ice to, it's very dynamic. I think you can also just feel the respect they have for one another. They have a very classic vibe, think reverse-retros almost.

Colorado Avalanche: This is what found-family looks like. Akin to a ragtag group of rebels ready to face the music. Like the Pens (and all my other teams) they're bound together. No one knows exactly how, but it happened, and it's beautiful. They're explosive and fun, but when the time comes they're mature and strong in the face of any hardship (take Cale's response to the Hockey Canada stuff or how they handled what was going on with Naz). This is a team that scraped and clawed and fought to the top because they were sure they deserved the chance to be champions and nothing was going to stop them from making their dream become a reality. They're a deep team with one of the strongest cores I've ever seen, all led by an amazing coach and GM who never stopped believing in their club. There's comfort in their surety, in their sheer will and determination.

Carolina Hurricanes: These guys are also family (see the theme here?), but with this team it's more fun centered. They're fiery and witty and they never fail to absolutely demolish the teams they meet. I get a 80's-90's music vibe mixed with some of the pop hits from the 2010's. They're criminally underrated but that's okay. They're like a small family that just wants to goof around and have a good time, but at the same time they're there for each other no matter what. There's a loving intensity to them. Sure, some people may call them childish for some of their traditions (that being the storm surge of course) but they just laugh in the face of the haters, as they should. They're an incredible team that goes surprisingly undetected by other fans. This makes them a wonderful hidden gem that all can cherish.

Seattle Kraken: This is a new, fresh family. Like when you make new friends and get unexpectedly bound to them so you all make a "family tree" just to mess around, when in reality you really do become just that. Family. They're very chill, and the whole aesthetic of "Kraken" fits incredibly well into Seattle. All I can imagine is a rainy day inside a cafe beside the sea and the docks. It's comforting. They also manage to be an incredible team on-ice, dominating end to end. Despite everyone saying they failed to live up to the expectations of an expansion team, and despite them not being at the level Vegas was their first year, they're amazing. They've ignored the hatred and grown. Just like all teams do. They also have connections to a lot of other teams because of the guys that have come in, but this has also led to the newer players growing even closer. They almost have a sibling vibe. They bring calm, cool collection to the ice. Yet, like I love to have in my team, they're quirky too. Two years as a team and they've already made some amazing traditions. This is a team that looks forward, and I for one can't wait to see them continue to grow.

#pittsburgh penguins #colorado avalanche #carolina hurricanes #seattle kraken #nhl hockey

[msviolacea]

(Alt: a Tweet from B. Dave Walters that says “I don’t know who needs to hear this: But if your answer is ‘it’s what my character would do,’ it’s wrong, 95.5% of the time.”)

This advice resonates hard with me, but I think the extension of it is “you shouldn’t say ‘it’s what my character would do’ without an ‘and’” 

It’s what my character would do ... AND it will move the plot forward in a direction the whole table will find interesting.

It’s what my character would do ... AND I know everyone at the table will be amused by it.

It’s what my character would do ... AND I’m confident that the player I’m targeting or inconveniencing will really like this roleplay opportunity. 

It’s what my character would do ... AND I know the table is okay with interparty conflict.

It’s what my character would do ... AND I know the GM loves the kind of challenge I’m about to give them.

It’s what my character would do ... AND I’m okay with whatever consequences the GM might give me for thwarting the plot. 

The theme here is, “it’s what my character would do” should be accompanied by a healthy knowledge and respect of the entire table’s enjoyment. 

Example: the very first TTRPG I played was the Dragon Age RPG; my partner DMed, and one of the other players was an old friend of hers from college, the kind of player who’s been playing RPGs since the 90s. He played a dwarf that literally wanted to do nothing but sit and the bar and drink. Like, that’s it, any time he was asked what he wanted to do, that’s what he said. And maybe he’d played with GMs before who enjoyed the challenge of figuring out what would get him off the barstool, or players who liked playing the efforts of getting him to do things, but for us it was just an awkward, unpleasant part of the game.

TTRPGs are a cooperative game. And this goes for any kind of multi-person roleplaying experience. Your character does not exist in a bubble. This advice doesn’t mean “you can never have your character do a hard thing because it makes sense for their narrative.” It means that the phrase “it’s what my character would do” without the “and” is usually uttered by someone who just Leeroy Jenkinsed the table into something that didn’t take anyone else’s fun into account. It means you have to be confident that the rest of the table will enjoy the consequences of whatever your character decides to do, because it’s their game too. 

#ttrpgs #dungeons & dragons #d&d #it just means that you're playing a group game #and while your character may be the most important thing to you #you still have to consider the rest of the table when you make a decision #not just the platonic ideal of the character in your head

[arcanehobo]

I ask that respectfully because your blog doesn’t specify otherwise and it’s important to me to make sure men aren’t interacting with my blog.

I know it is presumptuous to see a masculine person with he/him pronouns and say “that’s a man” but for my own personal boundaries I need to check.

[This was preceded by a message asking "Are you a man?"; I have no other context whatsoever.]

So, obviously this answer doesn't fit with the general theme of this blog. But the anon posting the ask is, well, anon, so I don't have much option in replying to them, and it feels kind of discourteous to not reply, since the answer is clearly meaningful to them. I'll leave this up for about 48 hours, so the anon can see it, and then - probably - take it down again. [ETA: Although now I've spent a chunk of time thinking about and writing an answer to it, maybe I'll leave it up. It is, regretfully, a bit on the mansplain-y side, but with the lack of context, it's the best I can do.]

So, anon, that's a big question. I don't really feel qualified to answer it as written, because the culture I live in makes it pretty clear that "man" is something other people tell you you are or are not, not something you can claim for yourself. There are debates and accusations around the term "real man". I am not attached to the term, and have been generally amused by the attempts of others to tell me that I am or am not one.

If you're asking if I'm trans in some way, I'm unconvinced that that is any of your business, and your asking makes me suspect you're some kind of TERF. I've deleted TERFy asks here before, and dealt with some mild hostility from people who object to my he/him pronoun badges in real life too.

If you're asking if I'm biologically male, I feel that's also not really your business, any more than your sexual characteristics are any of mine. But out of an excess of courtesy, I can say that as far as I know, yes, but I've never had any examination of chromosomes, or any of the myriad other conditions and states of being that would make that debateable. However, "biologically male" starts to verge very close, again, to TERF stuff, and if that's the gist of what you're asking, you can fuck right off and continue to fuck off a bit further after that; my use of pronouns on my profile is mostly to help establish a cultural norm for the people to whom they are important, and partly to politely give people a set of pronouns they can use to refer to me.

If you're asking if I identify as a man, or male - which are two different things, related only by social construction - I'm not sure if I do or not. To be honest, I identify more as a wizard or as a GM or as a cook than I do as male or a man. It's not a question that's important to me, and hasn't been since I was a child (and even then my main question was whether I was "allowed" buy the Sylvanian Families toys or not).

I hope that goes some way toward answering your question, anon, because frankly, it's a bit weird to just post up out of nowhere and ask it.

It is possible, given the "interacting with my blog" line, that you are in some way asking me to post some DNI stuff in my profile. While I try to respect other people's DNIs - I don't want to read stuff written by people who don't want me to read it, unless they're legislators - I also think they're complete nonsense (and if I hit "follow" from a post or Tumblr rec, I don't see them). More broadly, if a tumblr blog is viewable, there is nothing stopping a malicious actor from viewing it while not logged in, or logged into an alt account. There are a lot of ways to establish safe spaces into which you can allow people on a whitelist; discord, newsletter subscriptions, private email, locked Twitter accounts, etc. Tumblr doesn't have the technology for that. Notwithstanding my fervent desire for TERFs and Nazis (to pick two meaningful categories) to not participate in my life, I don't have even the slightest expectation that either group would comply. So I will not be posting any such stuff on mine.

Some more context would be very nice, if you're inclined to give it, anon, because this ask has arrived in out of the blue, and I'm still half-thinking it's a new variety of spam.