#nothing happening here keep moving on

[evansbby]

#thanks everyone for all the kind messages #like seriously thank you #I guess it was one of those things where I was having a really shitty week and then I came on tumblr and just the one thing set me off #and affected me way more than it usually would have #this past week was good for me though #I had three interviews and two of them were for jobs I really really want #and one of them is my dream job so hopefully I get it! #but even if I don’t… I genuinely think the interview went really good like all three of them! so I’m happy for that like #it gave me more practice #anyways with five days away I guess I made my point lmfaooooo #I was angry and upset but tbh anon hate is nothing new and it’ll keep happening sooooo #I was genuinely touched by all the sweet messages! #and also laughed at the ones which were just begging me not to leave poyt unfinished 😂😂😂 like I love the honesty there #but I laughed in a touched way bc I understand that even those asks came from a good place like the intention was good #ANYWAYS yes I was very very upset but this week went good for me so I’m in a much better place #I guess I’m going through a very rocky time irl so it’s making me more sensitive to small things that didn’t affect me before #like anon hate I mean usually I honestly find it entertaining and funny 😶😶😶 #but yeah that one thing got to me but whatever!!! we move #anyways how r y’all! #I’m free this weekend so I’ll be active on here as usual hehe

[note-boom]

What do you mean BSD has no canon ships? Have you completely forgotten about Fitgerald's ocean liner? That's canon! Look at this beauty! How could you forget?

Now that's a ship I could get on board with.

#ill see my idiotic self out #anyway im gonna start a theory that while the characters have some weird stuff going on... #...its actually the organisations that have this weird love thing going on #like clearly the ada is the harem anime protag #the port mafia is the ex that tries to keep getting back together (like those monthly raids before canon happened?) #the guild is the rich character that took its breakup with the special divisions badly #and now kinda has its sights set on the ada but just keeps throwing money and making all the drama worse #the doa is definitely the yandere or something that's felt betrayed already by the ada and 'broken up' #except theyre not over it so theyll just destroy the world instead #and the hd is the yandere that found some sanity and now is just lost and idk #the special divisions and ada are exes with a good relationship though #hmm....maybe its just the ada being a harem protagonist but dealing with all the characters they rejected #...guys why did i write this in the tags? #if you see this get queued just move along....nothing to see here #bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd musings #humor #it has to be humor... #bsd fitzgerald #i believe in ship supremacy? #spitting nonsense #so. much. nonsense. #rambling in the tags sorry

[fortes-fortuna-iogurtum]

.

#update for my friends here #(and then I gotta go read aristotle lol) #I'm doing ok. I think maybe I've made some friends here. particularly a couple of girls on my hall who have been very kind to me. #wish my emotions would come back and be normal #and by 'normal' I mean not just random crying whenever I try to sit still and think for a few minutes. #there's so much happening. my heart is pulled so many ways. I'm not sure how to resolve any of it. #and I'm aching for resolution. #but I think God is trying to show me how much more I still haven't done or experienced #even though a lot of times I feel like I've lived all of life there is to live and there's nothing left anymore. #I wish I had more trustworthy people in my life who are older than me and can help speak into this experience. #I need to call my parents and siblings back home. I miss them. #I keep questioning my decision to come here. maybe I should've stayed home. #I don't know. maybe it's all an exercise in trust. #I'm still afraid most of the time I think. I wish I could put that fear to death. I wish I could just lean back and trust. #everything just moves so fast. #if any of my post-college (undergrad at least) friends would like to give me tips for slowing down and being intentional with life #and relationships and stuff #during this phase of life--I am extremely open to hearing about them! #love you all <3

[homophyte]

it is interesting to me that ive seen lately (n yknow this is subjective and likely not any real social force just what ive seen) many queer people simultaneously talking about taking back and embodying unpalatable and ‘unmarketable’ queerness (the recent return to the terms faggot and transsexual come to mind) which i think is pretty evidently shaped by the conservative moment were in of demonizing queer ppl and especially gnc and trans people as predators--it reads as a return to queer isolationism in the face of external hostility, imo--while at the same time ive seen a lot of rallying around the “original” 6 stripe rainbow flag as opposed to any of the purportedly ‘factional’ flags of different queer identities, with the assumption being different identity flags divide us while the rainbow flag encompasses everyone and its kinda fascinating to me bc the rainbow flag is probably the single most marketable and palatable and uncontroversial symbols of queerness which has been seamlessly uptaken by those who wish to sell it back to us as gets pointed out every pride month with all the cringey pride merch.... i dunno you could maybe take that as a point of hypocrisy and claim the queer community is itself in a conservative moment rn where its returning to a sense of history and historical continuity (perhaps even out of that sense of external threat) or even that the queer community has for some time been in a conservative moment given the like, decade of identity discourse and lashing out at any people deemed to not have a sufficiently established history or however we should categorize the bihets/ace discourse/transtrender-tucute discourse/pan discourse/bi lesbians discourse (because lets be frank its essentially all the same discourse just keeping up its momentum by leapfroging from one target to the next) which i think is, like, SOMEWHAT true but not entirely? its more interesting to me, in any case, as an expression of a conflict the queer community is facing given that current state of affairs RE antitransness and that very recent history. like, the simultaneous need to retreat to a safe sense of community which is welcoming to the very things the outer world is demonizing ie mutable gender, complex or contradictory experiences of gender, gender expression which is hostile to the cis binary, but also the ways in which it has to grapple with those discourses which have largely defined the community infighting for again the past decade. its queer people begging the question ‘how can we make the queer community welcoming to the girlfags and genderfucks and tboys who are being threatened when we have spent so much time making the queer community a hostile place for anyone with a non-conventional or not easily (or even just palatably) sortable sense of queer identity’. and the answer it seems to be grappling with at the moment is like, welcoming all that diversity of experience but being absolutely averse to naming it. yes we love all the fuckery with gender and sexuality never be marketable but like, ew, why are you calling yourself [insert microlabel here]. you can be genderweird but you cant call yourself genderweird. you can only exist as queer in the broadest possible way (the all-inclusive gay pride flag!) but if you try to name the specifics or use those identity labels weve been fighting over for years youre doing it wrong (the progress pride flag is now ugly and cringey and ‘too much’). i think theres something also to the way (at least on this site) transmisogynistic discourses have really taken hold as legitimate (though yknow i wont downplay how much a problem transmisogyny has like. always been in queer spaces no matter what) in the name of protecting n defending trans people. like its just regurgitated transmisogyny but its being mobilized supposedly in the service of helping trans people. idk its definitely getting a little late for me to string this together fully coherently but theres a throughline there, in the ways certain ideas are being consolidated and reified as ‘yes were more progressive now!’ when i think theres definitely something to question there in terms of like...are we? are we actually? are we doing better by the people were trying to help or are we setting strict standards and forcing ppl to adhere to them again?

#myposts #this is long and honestly probably Nothing #i dont even really have a way of proving its the same group of people saying both things except fro anecdotally seeing it #and even thats not proof either is a real social force with like power. i could be entirely wrong on every count here #but i do think theres something to the idea that like #as ive seen said #yknow 'ace discourse never ended you all just accepted ace people didnt deserve support and then moved on w those views internalized' #i think thats more broadly true for like. all those discourses i mentioned. and for the transmisogyny i alluded to #but honestly i dont even want to name the specific phenomenon im talking abt there bc those people. scare me. #but yknow ill say it ive felt way more pressure lately to not call myself pan than i did at the height of pan discourse #before it became cringe to care about it and instead of actively shitting on pan ppl we moved on to passively doing it #ive largely started just. calling myself bi to avoid the arguement. which i predicted i would have to do years ago #and now look at me doing it! not really a fluke that its happening now. i think #which isnt to say were moving 'backwards' per se but that these ideas are not now and never have been really challenged #so weve just internalized their logics--reactionary logics--and its having an interesting effect now that we need a progressive community #for our safety. #now we cant say anything about it because to bring it up is jeopardizing everything weve built and the people were keeping safe! #cause we dont count as people deserving of safety were disruptors who only belong when we dont make noise. idk. or thats how i feel #again i dont really know if this is true at all im more just...thinking through it i think #basically like what im seeing--i think--comes from simultaneously that need to be unmarketable in the face of hostility #coming into conflict with a decade of momentum to make queers solely marketable. and i think thats producing some interesting--but sucky #--discourses in the current moment #last disclaimer that i might and am likely totally wrong! okay lauren out. post send *nervous sweating*

[bitchfendi]

man ive GOT to make something!!!!

#thinking about all the stories i wanna tell but dont start bc im scared of being cringe #SOMEONE TELL ME TO STOP BEING A PUSSY AND WRITE/DRAW IT BAD!!! #AS LONG AS IT MAKES ME HAPPY IT SHOULD BE FINE BUT IT DOESNT MAKE ME HAPPY BC ITS NOT PERFECT🙃🙃🙃 #BUT NOTHINGS PERFECT EVERYTHINGS SUBJECTIVE #BUT ALSO THE WHAT IF IM CRINGE 😭 #im fine. im fine with being cringe. im fine with being cringe it is ok to be cringe #hrrrrrrrrgggggggghh #sorry wverypony 🥲 #i think i just need to move out tbh #BUT I HAVE NO MONEY. yet #and even then i have student loans n i need to learn how to drive bc this place is NOT walkable #my goal is to move out sometime in or after the fall. i dont think its gonna happen this year but ill keep on trying #anway if u read through my whole tag ramble you lost the game #hrrrgh #but rents so expensive here… its so complicated :( #well see what happens… #I HAGE BEING AN ADULT :(

[running-in-the-dark]

oh, I see. it's one of those nights.

#going insane going insane going insane #too many men in my head and they're all the same guy but not but #uhgghh I need to stop looking at him but I can't and he's so beautiful and I'm so unbelievably stupid #no thoughts in my head just him #and him and him #the three of them #stupid idiot guys with their same stupid pretty face and uggh I hate them #and by hate I mean want oh my god I want them so bad I'm losing my mind #other people are beautiful too! why can't I be normal about this?? why does this need to happen #just. be like. oh hey he's hot I'd fuck him. and move on. like a normal person #nooo it's got to be literal months of me getting increasingly stupid until there's nothing left of my brain because it's all been replaced #by tiny versions of him #it's literally FINE. #people are attracted to people literally all the fukcing time why can't I be normal about this oh my god this is so humiliating #BUT I can't keep it in my mind or my head will explode and for some reason that would be bad. apparently. #AND why can't I just think he's hot??? WHY does it have to become my entire personality?? what do I like? oh him of course. no like what are #my hobbies? oh looking at him and painting him and thinking about him. NO besides that - umm there IS nothing besides that actually?? I've #never had an interest in my life and I don't even know what you mean 🙄 I sit here and think about a man (now it's three of them but #whatever) #what else would there be 🙄🙄🙄🙄 ridiculous. #ugh why can't I just be really fully completely ace? this is so unnecessary I don't want it it's horrible 😫 #except it's not its the best it's fucking incredible because I think about his face and it's like I'm seeing everything and it all makes #sense finally and why would anything else ever matter again #oh my GOD dude if I could hear myself right now. I'd be so embarrassed. but I can't because there's just a billion tiny eliots and alexes #and jacobs in my head and that's all there is #man maybe I should start doing drugs or start drinking again #okay whatever *goes back to watching the librarians and giggling like a maniac every time I see him* #ugh he's wearing a cute jacket and I need to hug him so bad oh my god it's killing meee. soft soft soft. must touch. ugggh

[robotpussy]

anyways about my eviction. the literal reason why I'm getting evicted is that my landlord doesn't want to deal with complaints anymore so I'm the one who is getting the shove <3

#he doesnt want to deal with me and that neighbour i don't like going back and forth because she is extreme #-ly disruptive when im trying to sleep and she refuses to change. mind u all i asked was for her to turn her tv down when its late #at night and that she stops banging shit in the floor when its 1am and I'm trying to sleep... i don't think that's an absurd thing #to not be happy about. but whatever. I'm out of here now. lets keep it moving #like it did escelate last night i will admit but i have brought these issues multiple times and nothing happened and instead of #ppl changing/being considerate i just get kicked out so they dont have to hear me say i cant sleep at night :)

[saltedsolenoid]

I am thinking about the idea of an aged-up Sei so goddamn much right now. This post is a reminder to continue thinking about it.

#alright. #yttd spoilers #JUST PUTTING SOME NOTES IN THE TAGS. NOTHING MAJOR!! #the only way that this could happen would be if kai died instead or if gashu had the wherewithal to either send his children into hiding #or manage to run away from asu-naro entirely #And because i am GashuHead Supreme; the second option is way more appealing despite being much unrealistic to an important degree #Because . Sei's death cements him as What He Is Today- what would happen if he never reached that point? #in the mini-episode; gashu still has some SEMBLANCE of a heart. would he have been able to keep it if he ran away? #but the thing is... he couldn't!! he couldn't run away!!! but it would be just the same to him to send his children away because his job #WAS to raise those children #and he was worthless beyond what he could provide ‚ which was‚ at this moment and for an incomprehensible value: these assassins #and so. god. it'd be ego death!!! it'd be an essential death for the whole family but for what REBIRTH would it be?!?!?!? #they would have to move out of the country‚ probably!! #But. Would it be worth it. #real sorta self v. job logic v. emotion decision for a hypothetical au here #just so i can make an older sei design #but that's how it always is for GASHU HEAD SUPREME!!! #sigh.

[tyrianlynch]

When ur disabled and ur bosses start being shitty to u and it’s very clearly bc theyre annoyed ur disabled and everyone in ur life is like “oh we’ve all dealt with bosses being shitty” but they don’t get the huuuuge different between bosses being shitty and bosses being shitty purely bc ur disabled

#it’s such a big difference #and they’re telling me to do nothing and just let it happen! #‘let them cut ur hours and thank them for letting u be there at all!’ #WHY SHOULD I #it’s literally not my fault that my abilities are different from those of my coworkers #and when they hired me they were well aware of my disabilities and the problems it could cause #and they said it wouldn’t cause any problems! #but now they’re cutting my fucking hours bc I couldn’t show up to a meeting bc I was in so much pain I couldn’t fucking move #and bc I can’t work long days WHICH I TOLD THEM I WOULDNT BE ABLE TO IN OUR INTERVIEW #but now they’re saying they have to prioritize the people who are able to work longer hours??? #tell me that shit when ur hiring me! #also everyone keeps saying ‘oh they have the right to cut ur hours they’re the bosses’ they literally don’t! #they literally are breaking laws if they are cutting my hours bc I’m disabled! that’s literally illegal! #I’m just so angry and can’t stop crying but there’s not a single person in my life I can talk to about this #bc they all think I’m being over dramatic and that I should say whatever it takes to keep my job #but if keeping my job means letting them treat me like a second class citizen then I don’t even want the fucking job! #it’s just not worth it to me #anyways sorry I haven’t been active lately and literally just came on here to complain #I just didn’t know where else to put this anger since talking to anyone else abt this has just made me angrier

[crowcryptid]

if ur city ever starts getting flooded with people from nyc or california you need to get tf out when you have the chance

^ spray painted message in post apocalypse setting

#if you live in brickell I’m stealing something from your house #sorry I mean your $4000 a month apartment. #highest inflation in the country!! florida wins!!!!! (gritted teeth) #this also applies if people are moving to your state in droves but the effect is much more noticeable if they are all coming to ur city #so basically. when the average job here doesn’t want to pay more than $15-$18 an hour #and everyone moving here works remotely and makes 6 figures #things. become. unbearable. so make sure you go back in time and buy a house in 2008 #once I started seeing more than 5 white people a day I knew it was joever #yeah just keep buying and destroying yes just keep going (insurance companies abandoning the state) #surely nothing bad will happen when we destroy more and things get hotter and hurricanes get worse #maybe the hurricanes will scare them away. but they all live in apartments anyway. so it’s not even bad for them.

[bandofchimeras]

moving tomorrow can't sleep. everything and everyone are coming together to make this happen. a chance to start over fresh and become someone new. power in my hands. and the fear, that I would have to abandon and cut off everyone who came before, turned out to be the opposite of the truth.

#nothing like a move on your own terms to reset ... everything. #things remain but like #i dont have to keep my bedroom the same #i can decorate in a totally different way #new colors new hair new clothes new life start doing only shit i MEAN to do #or at least trying more for that #i don't expect it to happen overnight but the new context will make all the ols bad habits easier to see #and shift #god fuck thank you past me and all my guides and the Oracle for pointing me here #for making this choice!!!!

[buddydolly]

×××

#buddydolly #tag commentary #I lost my sister in march #I don't think I've fully processed it #I keep doing that thing where when something really bad happens I just pretend I'm fine and go on with life like nothing is wrong #we had a really strained relationship because of her addiction issues #and I was planning on going no contact if I moved out #I haven't sat down for 5 months #we had an empty birthday party for her on her birthday in september and I still have a piece of the cake in my fridge #I can't eat it #I miss her so much #I wanted her to get better so badly #I just want to go out to eat with her and hear her laugh #I just keep thinking of how I'll never get to show her comedy specials I like again #she'll never get to laugh again #like there's still good things left here but like #fuck #there's so much that reminds me of her #there's so much I wish I could show her #and she'll never see it #and it's worse that I don't even know if she would care #at times it was like I didn't have a sister at all #I just hope she's okay wherever she is #grief

[the-kipsabian]

i wanna move out of this building so badly tbh

#my neighbor from across the hallway has an extremely shitty and scary boyfriend thats there far too often #he keeps yelling at every single woman he comes across in the hallway of the building and is especially unpleasant to anyone foreign #he yells at his gf constantly. they've fought like three times this week alone #andddd he just got home drunk and literally threatened to hurt their dog. out loud in the hallway #im afraid for her and the dog and i dont wanna live here hes been unpleasant to me too before #they've been called cops on for fighting and the threatening multiple times. and yet nothing happens #anxiety is so fucking high whenever i hear them moving around in the hallway or just yelling across the hallway #and they are LOUD #ugh #night is an absolute mess on main

[pepprs]

the way i am going to need to be tranquilized and sedated to get through tomorrow. god fucking help me

#purrs #particularly from like 1:30-3:30 specifically. i do not know how i will be able to get work done. i do not know how i am going to be able to #not fucking die. i really feel like i am going to pass out. i can’t do this i really truly genuinely cannot #every time i remember. like just… there are implications of this i have not even THOUGHT OF yet. that haven’t even crossed my MIND that are #still so engrained in my life and way of thinkjng and being. and i don’t know ifim gonna make her uncomfortable or panicked or guilty by #sobbing my eyes out not to mention other people witnessing that but there is NO WAY im gonna be able to not sob hysterically. this is #legitimatelt one of the most painful things that has ever happened to me in my whole life which says something about how much pain i have #experienced as a human being and how ridiculous it is that im freaking out over this LOL. but ummmmmm. this is……. this is so bad. i think #everything after tomorrow will be very hard (because i’ll miss her terribly) but it’ll be okay because it’s like this is the reality and now #we have to just like move forward and yeah im gonna have breakdowns on here abt how i feel like we aren’t properly grieving it or whatever a #and how i want time to like cope with it and not keep movi ng at 38472974mph WHILEALSO trying to not convey panic. but it’s been this #excruciating mindfuck of a situation bc she’s still HERE. STILL USING THE ‘WE’ THE DAY BEFORE SHE LEAVES! LIKE WHAT IS GOING ONBNNN THE COGN #COGNITIVE FUCKING DISSONANCE OF IT ALL!!!!! and like seeing her and having her stuff still around and whatever is um. it’s bad. it’s really #making it hard for me to accept that this is happening. so tomorrow is it then and we will drag ourselves through it and i swear to god i #will be hysterically crying. maybe even as i walk in and see her there knowing it’s the last time. LOL. like how do i not…. omgggggggg 😍😍😍😍😍 #this is so so so bad. why is this happening. not only is it embarrassing and humiliating but it’s like girl thisis an office this is work it #it’s really not that big a deal. BUT IT IS. TO US. TO ME. WHY IS SHE DOING THIS? i am about to punch the WALL. but nothing will help or make #it better until time passes or if she randomly decides not to do it. idk .i just can’t believe it. im so angry and sad and hurt and scared. #tomorrow will straight up kill me. it really actually seriously will. i don’t know how im gonna get through it. LOL #delete later

[margaetyrell]

can i rant for a minute about a (perhaps) unpopular opinion. i actually hate the term “chronically online”. or lines like “please go outside”, “touch some grass”, etc. bc it’s like… babe, you’re on tumblr. we’re all chronically online here. you also spend the day on this site, reblogging things and interacting with people. even creating content, polls or whatever. do you really think you’re superior or that different from the rest… and on the other hand it’s like, generally offensive and a joke that i personally don’t find funny at all. not bc i relate but because, what if you’re using it as an insult against someone who lives like this because they cannot go outside. or they have a disability or they’re depressed and their only tolerable pastime is wasting hours here. or they have no friends/job irl (not by choice or because they’re losers, congrats on you ig) or they simply don’t want to?? why do you feel the need to attack with that shitty argument when you’re literally one of us, no matter how many hours you’re here. idgi and fuck off, actually

#text #pt #nothing happened just fyi sksks #i just keep seeing that joke over here and idg why it’s still a thing #can we move on from it already