#nothing hits quite like a character who is terrible but in a way that makes you say girl I GET it

[nouvxllev]

CLINGYGRUMPYJENNA X READER!!

plsplsplsplspls

Summary: Co-workers in public, lovers in private 🙌🏼, while shooting for Wednesday, J gets really stressed, and craves for R's intimacy, but can't have that yet until break of dawn, so J basically gets sooo annoyed with anyone who tries talking to her that isn't R.

the waiting game

Pairing: Jenna Ortega x Gn!Reader

Summary: request!! ^^

Words: 4.8k

Warnings: fluf, grumpy & clingy jenna!

a/n: caught basically the nastiest cold for a whole week, but im back! sorry requests taking too long, tryna to balance everything rn but it all will be done soon!!!!

masterlist.

Jenna hasn’t seen you in almost 4 hours, 36 minutes, and 4 fucking seconds. 

Yes, she counted, yes, it’s still ongoing, and, yes, she could almost murder someone with her bare hands if time even dares to pass by without you.

What makes matters worse is that she's terribly sleep-deprived even with someone's arms wrapped around her night after night.

Of course, the aforementioned someone swirling in her head 24/7 is you. Her not-quite-lover in public but entirely her beloved behind closed doors.

If Jenna had it her way, she would’ve jumped off a building by now and hard-launched the both of you by herself just so she could get hugs, kisses, and your hand intertwined with hers all she wanted.

Obviously, the universe decides to be a stuck-up bitch just now in their 14 billion years of life, wanting nothing more than to see Jenna Marie Ortega suffer without having you.

But it's fine.

She could get through this.

If there's someone in the world that could handle a single day without your warm hugs and lovely kisses, whether it be on the cheek or the lips, it would be her. She didn't endure almost half a year seeing that godforsaken Wednesday dance to go completely insane without you.

— Is what she kept telling herself 30 seconds earlier before she broke down and almost turned to witchcraft if you don't appear in front of right her.

She could push through with it, like she always does. It's a simple routine that never got the best of her.

Wake up and have breakfast with the love of your life while prepping each other with kisses and whatnot, run to set for the both of you to act out a scene for a while, when break hits all Jenna has to do is intertwine her pinky with yours under the table, then do hair and makeup after, act out a scene then wrap it all up, lie to everyone for the 100th time that her house is just a few steps away from yours, hit a bakery on the way home or maybe an ice cream shop if Jenna feels peckish, break down the apartment door Jenna shares with you, run to the bedroom, and smother each other with kisses and cuddles. Maybe a makeout session if Jenna's lucky.

It's bliss then repeat.

But today just so happens to be the day that Jenna takes over the whole episode, doing stunts and everything with little to no cuts for side characters.

She'd think that you would have nothing to do than act out your scenes—with her—might she add and it'll be all fine and the nights she'd spent waking up at 3 in the morning would be all's well.

But no, unfortunately you were the epitome of the perfect person and everyone just has to drag you around to who knows where to deal with some difficulties.

Plus, the both of you woke up late so she didn't even get the full girlfriend treatment she always got in the morning.

It was completely unfair!

Jenna was tired, grumpy, a bit too snappy, desperate for your attention, and she misses you. Alot.

And by that she means she misses the way you would wrap your arms around her after a busy day of filming together, pull her close, and feel the way how her lips fits perfectly on yours.

She would've dragged you back to bed and cuddle with you if she knew what was about to happen. Every second not spent with you is absolutely meaningless in her book.

Unfortunately, she has to play the waiting game.

She's fucking losing it.

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It was 11 PM on a Thursday night.

Jenna is really so fucking tired, she could almost snap.

She had almost endured five to six hours of you nowhere even near her. The most she even interacted with you on set was when the both of you were acting a scene then abruptly got cut because of technical difficulties.

Plus, everyone but you was talking to her as if she was some kind of star! (she is.)

Jenna almost wished for an accident, or maybe a wardrobe malfunction that leads her to discovering some sort of new allergy about herself, just so she could be rushed off to the hospital and have you fussing over her, then maybe you could hold her hand and kiss her as if she would heal.

"How's it going, Ree—"

"Literally, I mean this in the nicest way possible, shut the fuck up Georgie."

He doesn't respond immediately, his eyes wide open as he steps back in surrender with his hands up in the air. "Ooooohkay!"

The brunette's head shot up immediately, her eyes burning and her shoulders slumped as she sank further into her chair for what felt like the millionth time.

"I... I didn't mean that, I'm so sorry." She closed her eyes shut, rubbing her temples, "I'm doing fine." She reassured herself more than anyone else, gripping the armchair for support.

"Biggest lie ever."

"You caught in Jenna's crossfire too, Emma?

"Oh damn, even Moosa?"

As if on cue, the whole cast decides to join in the damn conversation. Jenna loved them all, really, but it would've been so much better if a certain someone also joined and not far off into the distance talking to one of the editors.

Come on, would it literally kill you to question yourself why half of the cast was surrounding practically the love of your life while you're standing like 10 feet away!?

"You seem tense, J."

"Something wrong?"

"You've been staring at us for an hour with that Kubrick Stare of yours."

Who's exactly talking to her? Georgie, Emma, Moosa, it's all in that order but their voices seemed deranged, and it couldn't be any more worse when she's been trying to catch your eye for what seemed like the past hour.

She couldn't take shit when she's horribly missing you. So, she bites, and raises her voice more than she should, "Should I close my eyes to spare you the terrible fucking horror? Fuck, man!"

Jenna let an exasperated sigh escape from her mouth as she rose to her feet, eyeing the group with probably the most intense stare someone could bear witness to. She half-expected she'd get another pain-in-the-ass comeback from atleast one of them, but she was met with unusual silence.

The three look practically horrified, as if they were seeing the fictional idea of Wednesday Addams in the form of a 5'1, 22 year old woman dressed as her. Like they have the small but terrible quote running gears in their heads.

She heard them in unison muttering quiet apologies, "Sorry, Jenna…"

Her mind told her to forgive them for whatever they did, but her heart told her y/n.

"No, no it's fine." The brunette shook her head, her words forming icicles on each synonym and her eyes were like seeing inside of a storm. Without the peaceful atmosphere of an eye, clearly. "I'm just... stressed. Is Y/n free?"

Emma tilted her head to the side, "Actually, I never really saw them that much today, no?" She exchanged glances with the both of them.

"Heard they're busy with the tech team," Georgie crossed his arms, "Even for an actor, they've got a skill to be a director with how familiar they are behind the scenes."

Moosa nodded in agreement, "Yeah, they've been pretty tied up with all the technical stuff lately. Must be exhausting."

For fuck sakes, why did you have to be the most perfect and talented goddamn person?

"Why you looking for them?"

Jenna definitely did not need another goddamn voice entering her goddamn space.

She could almost roll her eyes and flip everybody off if not for Joy and the others being the most precious co-stars of them all.

"Because!" Jenna exclaimed, her voice cracking while lifting her arms in the air, "Y/n's my fucking lov...-"

Oh, shit.

"Lov...?"

"...Lovely neighbor." She blinked. "They... They bake me some cookies whenever I get in a bad mood."

Oh to fucking hell with this lovers in private bullshit. Lovely neighbor, that was the best damn excuse she could come up with?

"Well, heard they went home early because of an emergency, but it's kinda pouring out—"

It was in Jenna and Jenna alone on how insanely and horrifyingly fast she bolted out of the conversation, quickly changed clothes, thanking to the literal heavens (fuck the universe, Jenna will die on this hill) that Tim wrapped up early.

Josh. Josh was always the one you manage to bring up to be one of the most carefree guys in set, it's certain that he knew wherever the fuck you went. Actually, you always looked so happy whenever you talked to her about Josh and how much he lends with whatever left over set pieces they had, it's almost insane that you were—

"Aliyah, I'd tell you to shut up and fuck off as of this moment but I am literally too tired to even say that, what!?"

"Jenna, where the hell is your hoodie you wore on Christmas Eve!? I literally told you like an hour before your half-assed reply to tell me where'd you put your clothes."

Of course her sisters, more specifically Aliyah Goddamn Ortega, would find the most perfect timing to call her about the stupidest shit there could ever be.

"Okay, now, fuck off."

Jenna grimaced through gritted teeth as she hung up. She loved her sister, but does she love you more? Absolutely.

"Josh!" She called out, running towards him, "Sorry, kind of abrupt, but do you know where Y/n went?" Atleast she had some decency left in her to be polite to some.

"Actually—"

"Let one more word come out of your mouth not related to my question, and I swear, Josh—"

"Y/n left early, they told me to tell you but I guess I forgot."

Maybe a little too carefree.

"You fucking guess!?— I mean, yes, thank you. I’ll be going."

Oh, the waiting game is a pain in the ass.

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You pace back and forth in Jenna's apartment, your socks making a dent in the fuzzy carpet in the living room Jenna bought when you moved in with her, a nail in between your teeth and rain pouring in the background.

How in the hell did you forget possibly all your devices on fucking set!?

Your phone was dead, and your laptop was unfortunately abandoned by its owner (yours truly) and you have no way of contacting your lovely girlfriend.

And worse of all, it was a little over midnight.

All this because you got a notification that someone was at the door for an hour.

And it was just a fucking cat. (To be fair, they were really cute.)

You were starting to worry, especially how it was pouring outside like there was a hurricane incoming and how you left early without Jenna intertwining her warm and soft hands around yours.

So not only did you leave all your devices behind, but you also left Jenna without any means of contacting you.

You almost cursed yourself, maybe even doing the most stupidest and financially unstable decision of ordering a new phone as if it was going to be delivered same day.

Until you heard a slight click and a door opening.

There were times thunder struck, but it definitely did not beat the way your heart almost leaps into your throat as you hear the door opening.

You pause in your steps, a deep breath stuck in your mouth as you cross the living room and peer through the door way.

The door swung open and you're met with the, one of the most gorgeous and relieving sights you may add, of Jenna standing there. Slightly damp and with an... angry? Expression on her face.

"Jenna!" You blurted out, rushing over to her and enveloping her in a tight hug. "Did Josh fill you in? I feel terrible for getting home early, I'm so sorry. There was this whole thing I had to deal with, then the rain came pouring down, and I thought I'd at least get you a cab—"

"Shh. Just stay still. And preferably quiet."

When she's in your arms, she melts in the warmth of the comfort you bring to her. "Guess you caught the cab." You whisper under your breath.

You notice her breathing slowing down, the tension in her body easing away, a gentle smile playing on her lips as she buries her head in your neck. A sway the both of you took upon as she tugged at your chest with her hands wrapped around your body.

Jenna felt and smelled like home. Maybe heaven really is real if you're back in her arms after death.

"Is everything okay? Did something go down on set while I was away? Oh, Jenna, I'm so—" You start to pull back, placing your hands on her shoulders.

"Y/n, push me away, I fucking dare you, I'll bring down hell upon this godforsaken world."

You hesitate, but her gaze wants nothing more than to be in your arms. Who were you to deny her?

With a gentle squeeze of her shoulders, you pull her back into your arms. You weren't much taller than Jenna, in fact, just an inch or two apart. You loved that about eachother, like the two of you were a perfect fit.

Minutes pass, the only sound of the soft rhythm of Jenna's breathing and your heartbeat became a melody to your ears.

"I'm gonna hard launch the both of us right fucking now."

Well, that definitely caught you off-guard.

"Something happened?"

"You weren't on set for like hours! And everyones got too damn annoying for my ears to even process so I was trying to look for you, but then I ended up insulting Emma and the others, then I called you my lovely neighbor because I almost ended up saying you're my lover so I had to cover for it!"

"...That's quite a handful. I'm sorry I wasn't there, baby."

Even so, you knew that Jenna wasn't ready for a public relationship, not now that everyone was currently holding her at a social and cyber gunpoint with her life.

And even back then, you were the first one in the relationship who told her that the both of you would be better off if they both kept it private.

Even from their friends... And maybe more so families. Or maybe Jenna's. It's pretty hard to keep secrets from her family.

Obviously, look how that turned out.

Finally, Jenna murmurs something. "Sorry. It's been a rough day." Then she adds, almost as an afterthought, "Just without you."

You could almost kill yourself of the mere thought of even having to leaving Jenna the whole day.

"I—"

"Don't worry, I know you were busy with tech."

"Yeah. They got me wrapped up in their troubles, but 's all fine."

"Ever thought beating the complete shit out of them?"

"Jenna, you can't just say that!"

"But they've been literally hogging you from me! And I think that's completely unfair!"

"But you really shouldn't. You'd probably end up getting destroyed, especially with your height."

"Oh, but I definitely should. Besides, we're the same height, Y/n."

You laugh softly, shaking your head. "Okay, you know what, tempting as it sounds, I don't think violence is the answer."

She scoffs another time, a crease in her forehead. "Well, it's definitely an option worth considering."

After a moment of silence, you carry her to the living room, her legs dangling as you lift her from her feet and settle her onto the soft-cushioned couch.

You start to pull away once you set her down, stretching your body after a tense day, yet a certain someone was making grabby hands for you while shooting a look with her eyes begging you to stay.

"Y/n, don't you want to stay here with me?" She pulls you closer, locking her legs around yours.

Oh, Jenna knows damn well you couldn't resist her.

"Jenna, just relax," you gently tug her legs apart with your own, letting them fall as she permits, "I'll just get you some water."

She tugs at the hem of your shirt, "Then I'll come with!" Her smile almost comes back alive and she's already clinging onto your arm.

"Jenna. The love of my life."

"Y/n?"

"You're tired, stressed, snappy, grum—"

"Okay, I am not grumpy or snappy!" Jenna bites back almost immediately. "Why does everybody keep saying that?"

You shoot her a look. A yup-thats-why-look, and it's enough to get a pout to form on her lips.

"Grumpy, and you're still damp from the rain. I wouldn't be surprised if you wake up with a cold in the morning." You gently pat her head before sitting her back down. "I'll be quick, alright? You know I'm not going far just for a glass of water."

"Fine," Jenna huffs, "But you better hurry back! Ten seconds, tops!"

With a smile playing on your lips, you roll your eyes before making your way to the kitchen. And of course, Jenna's gaze from the couch was following you. You know patience was never Jenna's strong suit when it comes with you.

It wasn't even a few seconds before you heard,

"Y/nnnn!" Jenna's voice calls out from the living room, almost sounding like a groan and a whine.

It's almost amusing how someone as seemingly nonchalant yet sweet as Jenna could also be this puddle of affection and clinginess when it came to you.

You chuckle to yourself before quickly making your way back to her, holding out the glass of water for her.

"That was well over ten seconds." Jenna remarks, downing the water in one go before setting the glass on the coffee table. Then, she pulls you back towards her, and before you know it, you're both collapsing onto the couch.

"Well, I thought I did great." You say before Jenna tackles you into a very tight hug.

Leaning back against the cushions, you let out a sigh, feeling the everything slowly melting away when she's in your arms. Jenna inches closer, resting her head on your chest as you wrap an arm around her, holding her close.

"Hug me tighter, y/n." She murmurs softly, almost demanding if she didn't have a soft melody to her voice, her body warm against yours and her breathing seemed to be in sync with your own.

"You'll die if I do." You sigh contentedly.

Jenna lets out a huff, her breath warm against your skin and her scent was all too comforting. That earthy rain smell and her aromatic fragrance. "You know that I don't mind," she replies, "Of course you'd think I'd care if I died in your arms."

You laugh, shaking your head. "You're impossible, Jenna." You shake your head once against, ruffling her hair as you give her an extra squeeze before loosening your hold slightly to let her breathe.

"You want dinner?" You whisper to her after, not even above a decibel just for her to relax. "I didn't get the chance to stop by at the bakery."

"Please," comes Jenna's response.

You know what a full-on smile with dimples from her sounds and feels like when she has that hopeful and happy tune to her otherwise grumpy voice today.

You slowly pull yourself back up, gently pushing Jenna off your chest. And also unknowingly pulling a koala trapped in a 5'1, 22 year old body named Jenna Ortega clinging onto your back.

"Jenna."

She buries her head into the crook of your neck, eyes half-lidded. "Mmm… Yeah?" It's honestly surprising how she can actually and literally attach herself to you.

"Jenna, you have to let go so I can cook." Even as you ask her to release herself, you adjust to her weight on your back, carefully making your way to the kitchen, your hands securely holding onto her legs.

"You can cook just fine, Y/n," she whines, "You have two arms."

"And you," you reply, gently patting her legs, "have two legs and two arms. I can't cook with you piggybacking, baby."

You can tell the nickname made her smile. "Yeah, but I don't have a built-in Y/n in my system that I can cuddle with all day. So please just let me be."

"No, Jenna—You're gonna get hurt."

You reach the kitchen and gently lower Jenna from her back, setting her down on the kitchen island.

Her arms still lingered around your neck for a moment before she reluctantly, and against her will so it seems, lets go. "You know how frantic I am when I cook."

"Then maybe, you're not a good cook."

"I'm trying to keep my girlfriends, which is you, may I add, life out of harms way."

"Maybe that's the reason why you're not a good cook."

"Jenna."

Grabby hands, once again, making a return and tugging you by your shirt collar. But this time, you resist.

"Whyyyyyyy?" she whines, her bottom lip jutting out in a Jenna Ortega fashionable pout. "Do you hate me, Y/N?"

You roll your eyes playfully before booping her on the tip of her nose. "I'm cooking you a meal to show that I love you, baby." You pull back yourself and put on an apron standing off side to the fridge, Jenna's gaze could almost burn holes into the fabric.

"Okay." She sighs, dropping her head down. "Okay, fine! Can I just hold your hand?" She looks up to see you standing in front of her, wearing the cutest apron with the well-known kiss the chef quote.

A faint blush spreads across her freckled face, and you couldn't help but smile at her.

You can't really cook with one hand that properly. But if Jenna wants you to cook for her even if you had your hands surgically removed from your body, then so fucking be it. A few missing limbs can't top a few smiles from your girlfriend.

"Alright, baby." You place take her hand and lead her to the stove where it seemed like you've got everything prepared. "Just get behind me when there's oil splashing, mkay?"

A few minutes pass by with Jenna's hand in yours while you cook. Her head leans against your shoulder as she stands close.

Between the two of you, Jenna was always the one who takes over the cooking part of the relationship, no matter how much you insist cooking for her. But you're grateful and very fortunate now that she's allowing you to take over. Plus, Jenna keeps you entertained with her witty remarks and random stuff about her day.

Oh, what a life you're living in.

"You didn't cook for yourself?" Jenna's voice interrupts your thoughts as you plate a serving of salmon topped with herbs, accompanied by sliced lemon and a few kiwis. With the skin left on, of course, just how she likes it. Only for your loving girlfriend.

You shake your head, taking her hand and her plate in the other, leading her to the dining table. "I'm good. I had a late lunch earlier," you reply, gently placing the plate on the table and sitting her down. "Besides, it's not often I get to cook for you. It wouldn't be as special if I cooked for myself too."

Jenna's eyes almost appear teary as she looks at you. "Please never show yourself again in public. I seriously cannot lose you." She replied almost immediately.

If you didn't miss it, you would've seen the adoration and love shining in Jenna's gaze. It's as if she wants to ditch the meal entirely and cover your face with kisses.

You swear you probably ate a seed in your chest by how you kept feeling warmth bloom in your heart at her. "How can I do that if I'm an actor?" You chuckle, "They'd probably question you first if I disappear."

Jenna takes her fork and points it at you, slicing a piece of salmon with her spoon. "Hey, I've seen the tweets about people practically drooling over you. It's like they're your lover and not mine!"

You crease your forehead, crossing your arms, "You get more thirst tweets more than I do!"

"And I believe you contribute to that percentage." She raises one eyebrow, smirking at your direction before chewing on another piece of salmon. It wasn't a question, it was a statement.

A factual one at that.

You almost choke at your own words. "Oh, you know me so well."

A sigh escapes your lips, your smile still in place. "Besides, we're not exactly public, are we?" Leaning in, you draw Jenna into your own little world. "You're the only one who gets the real me. If I leave, I'll cross my heart on my own and I'll die on my own."

Jenna looks at you while taking a bite of her salmon, chewing slowly as if she's contemplating something, a tug in her lips. "Mn, guess so."

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You'd think you'd get some work done, maybe memorize future scripts or send out some emails to directors asking if you could audition for a show at one in the morning.

Instead, you're lying in bed with Jenna.

Or maybe a koala in this case.

In bed. Blankets over the both of you. Pillow's a bit too comfy to even think about getting up. Plus, the koala in question may or may not have hidden your phone and charger.

Jenna wasn't always a light sleeper. Sometimes, you'd wake up in the middle of the night to find her sitting up with a blanket draped over her entire body, furiously typing away in her notes app. It's endearing, but also makes you wonder if she's ever dabbled in witchcraft.

Now, she's wide awake to even be one.

Her eyes closed and her breathing steady enough to lull you asleep. The atmosphere is cozy, and so is your girlfriend laying atop of you.

Her arms were wrapped around yours for the millionth time while her head rests on her favorite part of your chest, her head staring off to the side as if she's trying to hear your heartbeat.

You thought she'd be passed out after dinner, but she dragged you by the cuffs of your hoodie and lead you to the bedroom.

"Jenna," you whisper not above even the slightest decibel, "I have work to do." The gentle rise and fall of her chest steadies in sync with yours, her head tilting slightly in the other way, and the grip she has on your body suddenly got tighter. It's already as if you'll fly away from her.

She huffs as she raises her head to face yours. "Your work—whatever that is—can wait, but I can’t." The room is dim, too dim, yet you could see the slight dip in her bottom lip.

You know you should focus, but with her so close, it's hard to think about anything else other than, 'Nah, fuck it. I'll live.'

You bring your hands up to cup her cheeks, gently brushing her messy fringe away from her face. Even in this dim light, you could see her freckles scattered across her face like vines making something so abandoned a painting.

Jenna sighs when she looks at you. "Y/n, how long are you gonna keep me playing the waiting game?"

"The waiting game? What even is that—"

"Can you kiss me?"

Oh. Her eyes become almost second nature to her words.

"Because I remember being woken up to the most gorgeous person ever but they didn't give me kisses, and I think—mpmhmmh..."

It took all your effort not to pull her into a kiss.

Obviously, your efforts were in vain.

Truth be told, you miss the way her lips hung on yours, she was perfect in every way. How her arms would wrap around you, how she'd reach up to tug on your jawline, tracing every thing you had offered her, how you would push back only for her to pull you closer.

The kiss soon ended with you and Jenna locking eyes. No words exchanged but the heavy breath the both of you took apart from eachother.

"—I think I might die..." Her words are breathless, her arms perfectly secured around your neck as you sit up.

You smile at her. "Well, I kept you alive, didn't I?"

"No," she breathes, taking hold of your cheeks before sitting up herself. "No, I'm still six feet underground if you don't continue what you were doing."

"You know, I'm starting to like the waiting game."

"Make me play that shit again, it'll be the last time you'll ever make a decision."

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jennaortega

Liked by ememyers and 1,398,938 others jennaortega goodnight to my gorgeous gorgeous girl @.y/l/n x 6 hours ago

natalieortega1: My fav girls!

joysunday: what lovely neighbors we have here

ememyers: !?@#%%#?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

user: WE FUCKING KNEW IT

moosa_mostafa_: we never knew....

user: MY??????? MY???????? WHAT MY WHY MY?????????????????????

user: now how long....

georgieebleu: the coolest ever

user: WHATS IT FINNA PLAY??????

naomijogawa: two losers having a loser rs

user: having a heart attack holYHIST WHAT HT FUCK

user: literally stop.

hunterdoohan: Respect!!!!

user: shit so insane she got the whole cast to comment

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In short, Jenna won. Plus, she got all the kisses and cuddles she wanted until the alarm hit. (When it did, your name was surprisingly all over social media along with Jenna.)

#jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega x you #jenna ortega x y/n #jenna ortega x gnreader #jenna ortega x gn!reader #jenna ortega #jenna marie ortega

[fangirltothefullest]

Okay but now what if how you designed Remus but in as many words as you want, because I'm loving these design breakdowns

HELL YEAH!

Remus to me is full of chaos but he is also the antithesis of Roman with similar qualities but a total lack of self consciousness or bashfulness. He is freedom and he gives no shits.

Inspiration 1: Mad Madam Mim

I start with a disney character full of chaos and I am inspired by mad Madam Mim because she is wild and chaotic and i absolutely love how fun she is as a villain and the most important thing for me is that Remus is fun. He's bonkers and has terrible ideas but he's also harmless in terms of reality. He's like an annoying little brother that wants to show you the Weird Gunk he found in the trash.

Inspiration 2: Snidley Whiplash (or Dick Dastardly)

Remus to me is a guy who knows a lot of things and he's actually really clever but he wants to BE a villain like Snidley Whiplash or Dick Dastardly, including the moustache. He wants to tie people to train tracks because it's fun. His personality is "I found the dynamite and the roller skates! :D"

Inspiration 3: Wile E Coyote and looney tunes as a concept

If Remus is anything it's a creature that can be stabbed in the eye and come back fine. It's a person who can make acme-like contraptions that do not work and that's ok. He is, if nothing else, Wile E Coyote and he is having the time of his life. He should therefore have hair that is a littler wild and crazy and untamable like Wile E's tail.

Inspiration 3: Royal villains

We will look at Galavant and also OUaT again!

There's nothing quite as detailed in costume as evil royal villains. They always seem to be the most extravagant or at least have all the buckles and things and Remus has an outfit just the same. Like Roman I want his royalty to show with his clothes but unlike Roman I want Remus to look way less put together. More a culmination of his clothes he chooses to wear but only because he HAS to wear something so he's going to show skin.

Particularly though the one I associate with Remus is Captain Hook from Once Upon a Time.

Inspiration 4: Captain Hook / Pirate aesthetics

Roguish, half-opened shirt, details, dressed fancy, swashbuckling. Remus would make a great pirate because he has the swagger and charm of a drunken man sailing a boat with a pet giant octopus he calls Lil Pussy.

Speaking of octopus...

Inspiration 5: Kraken and hentai

He has an octopus on his belt and he deserves tentacles for a pirate feel but also for fuckin. Cause he's a raunchy bastard. Anything taboo is something he wants to think about.

Inspiration 6: Punk aesthetic

What easier way top buck against the norms than to embrace punk vibes? Jewelry, upside-down crosses, I don't like going overboard with it but I like giving him some. Fingerless gloves, chokers with spikes, those kinds of things work well for his "I am everything your religious grandmother hates, embrace it". His outfits that aren't standard could look like he made them himself or found them in the garbage and went "awesome!"

Inspiration 7: Weapon Master

Remus likes to hit things with his mace and while Roman has his sword, I imagine Remus is an expert at weapons or at least likes to use them so even if I am going to dress him up nice I want a weapon nearby somewhere.

Things that are a must:

So many details, Remus will not leave your eyeballs alone. If you think Roman has details nope, Remus wants your eyes to bleed with them.

Remus should have longer hair than Roman, wilder bangs and wilder curls. Shorter hair is fine but a ponytail is even more fun. Like the tie holding it'll break at any moment.

Weapons galore, arm this baby at every opportunity. Likewise, scars are acceptable but it's ok if they disappear at random because chaos loves chaos.

If Remus has his main garb off he should be showing skin to the best of his abilities and his collar should drape down wider than normal because let that man be a slut.

Tentacles should be numerous when shown and they should have a mind of their own doing whatever they want.

If Roman wouldn't wear it, Remus would. If Roman wouldn't think it, Remus would, and if Roman would be disgusted, Remus would love it.

Remus should have annoying little brother vibes.

Any non-standard outfits should look like he cobbled them together with duct tape and chewing gum.

So I came to this:

#tashiarts #sanders sides #inspiration for remus

[ozzgin]

Ok, could I just say I LOVE how you write for your Baki characters, they're always a treat 🥺✨️

May I request another prehistoric reader, but when they revived her along with Pickle, she just looked so roughed up that she looks like the definition of surviving

What could cause such scars? Well they wouldn't have to wait long since turns out she's like really clumsy, like "nearly losing an eye by tripping on air and onto a metal pole" clumsy

Pickle just has to be by her side every time to catch her before she actually lose something

I love the idea! I can definitely picture it, thank you for the suggestion and the kind words!

Baki Headcanons: Prehistoric! Clumsy Reader

Featuring Pickle and his challengers and one tough looking reader that turns out to be just extremely clumsy.

The men scan your features with a cautious defensiveness. Here you are, standing tall next to Pickle, with a similarly toned body yet peppered with scars and old wounds. Assuming you have the same survival skills as Pickle, what could you have possibly fought to leave you with such extensive damage? The air is tense as they analyze the possibilities. A T.Rex? It was your main source of food. Multiple of them? Entire packs of ancient elite predators? Were you the main hunter of the pack, taking on challenges that left the other humans scurrying away in fear?

It doesn’t take too long for the mystery to solve itself. The first one to pick up on it is Baki, who just happened to be visiting the enclosure. You’re in the middle of a playful scuffle with Pickle when you decide to impress the newcomer with your signature move. You extend one arm and twist your body slightly, as if gaining traction. Pickle can immediately tell what is about to happen and growls at you, but it’s too late. You swing, and the fist lands in your own face. Baki gasps in shock and you blink a few times in order to process the succession of events. Good Lord, you’re just clumsy. Terribly so.

Now, they have to admit, being this dangerous to yourself and making it this far is rather impressive. Whether in a good or a bad way is another story. The major force of reason in your life seems to be Pickle. Whenever possible, he’s there to stop your ungainly displays. He’s lifted you from the ground more times than he could ever care to count. Truth be told, he does enjoy the fact that you’re this dependent on him. Outside of your clumsiness you’re quite capable and he likes to have one area where he can prove himself as a partner to you.

It’s almost like you and Pickle crawled out of a slapstick comedy. The men are nearly temped to fabricate their own scenarios to check whether you come out unscathed. They’d rather not upset Pickle more than necessary, however. And witnessing your lack of coordination first-hand has also awakened a similar worry towards your safety.

Before they know it, they’re stopping mid-conversation to check on whatever shenanigans you’re up to, ready to interfere. Retsu will silently interrupt your failure and pretend nothing has ever happened, sparing your embarrassment. So does Katsumi, after having a good laugh about it. He finds you extremely entertaining and always compliments your gift of getting into trouble.

Jack doesn’t like to make his empathy known. He’ll ‘accidentally’ step in front of you moments before you’re about to crash into a wall. He just so happens to hold the edge of the barrier right before your head collides with it. Move along, there’s nothing to see.

With Baki there's always a 50% chance he'll fail miserably together with you instead. He's about to stop you from tripping and in doing so his chin hits the pavement at the same time as you. Thankfully Pickle has two hands.

Even Yuujirou is forced to comply with the unspoken rule. He’s been told repeatedly of the importance you and Pickle hold from a cultural and scientifically perspective and he doesn’t disagree with it. Depending on his mood he will laugh at your misfortune or arrogantly scold you, but either way he will prevent your injury. He’s also secretly impressed by your durability.

#baki #baki the grappler #baki hanma #baki headcanons #baki x reader #pickle baki #pickle x reader #prehistoric reader

[peterman-spideyparker]

Panic (Steven Grant/Marc Spector x Reader)

Author’s Note: So I started writing this last Tuesday (April 19th) and finished it this morning (April 27) before my first class; during lunch, I watched episode 5 and was devastated. I feel this fic takes on a completely different life now and holds some different weight behind it. Please heed the warnings. Enjoy! :)

Summary: You and Steven met each other at work. You are wonderful friends with one another, and each of you have feelings you don’t know quite how to voice. When someone from your past shows up at a museum, you shut down completely, and it’s Steven Grant (and Marc Spector) to the rescue.

Warnings: Angst (mention of past abusive relationship/domestic/physical abuse, mentions of blood/burning/hitting, panic attack/terror/anxiety), protective Steven!Marc!Khonshu, fluff, mutual pining. The “—” are a shift in POV from Reader to like 3rd person omniscient, I guess. Later when Steven and Marc talk, italics represent Steven and bold represent Marc.

Other Characters: Our main man Khonshu, Donna, JB, OFC (Theodore)

Word Count: 3,989

You were the sunshine in Steven’s day, every day. It could be the best day in the world, and you would make it brighter; he could be exhausted, body aching, having the worst possible day, and he would see you and all the dark clouds would be pushed away. You were the best thing in his life. He’s never told you in so many words, but he’s done little things for you to try and show it. Some days he’d bring you coffee, other nights he’d say a bit later to walk you to the bus or your flat. On your birthday last year, he brought you a bouquet of Egyptian lilies, and he thought his heart would melt when your eyes lit up.

And this friendship-but-so-desprately-wanting-to-be-more-than-that was not singe-sided. You adore Steven. But Steven is so kind to everyone, you don’t know how to read his exact feelings towards you. A few months ago, he went on a date with one of the tour guides; even though it didn’t end well it didn’t mean it hurt any less when you found out he was seeing someone. And if you ever confessed how you felt and he didn’t feel the same way . . . Well, you don’t know how you could deal with that rejection. All you know is that you could never lose Steven. He was the best part of your day, your job, your life. 

“I mean, c’mon,” you insist as you lean against the register’s counter. “You have to admit it.”

“It does make him look quite knobbish,” Steven chuckles as you both peer over to JB.

“I mean, why?” you giggle. “Who told him a patchy porn ‘stache was a good call? Especially with that haircut!”

“Probably the same people that think Eye of Horus jellies are the best thing to sell at a gift shop.”

“At least those probably bring people joy.”

“Nah. I got curious one day and tried a pack. They’re quite terrible.”

The happiness that you feel radiating throughout your body when you’re with Steven is sucked right out of you as your gaze expands just past where JB flirts with a new tour guide. A face you never hoped to see again stares at one of the statues on display. There’s nothing particularly conspicuous about the man with the well-groomed hair, kind profile, and well-put-together appearance, but you know better.

“(Y/N)?” you hear Steven ask. It sounds like he’s been trying to get your attention for a long while. “Darlin’, you alright? You look as white as a ghost.”

You don’t respond, your breath only increases as a cold sweat breaks out all over your body. Pulling from the counter, you move as quickly as you can without drawing attention to somewhere that you can hide. Your feet move on autopilot, taking you to the stock room where you let all your anxiety and fear bubble up and take control.

“(Y/N)?” Steven asks as he opens the door. “What’s wrong?”

You can’t form words. You can only move as a way to try and put the adrenaline coursing through your body to good use. Your breathing only increases as hot tears prick at your eyes. Your back hits the wall and you brace yourself against it, just wanting to disappear into the plaster and drywall.

“Hey, hey, hey, c’mon now,” Steven says as he carefully approaches you. You continue to pant heavily against the wall, hand on your chest, feeling like the world is crashing in on you and suffocating you as your body shakes like a leaf.

“I can’t . . . I-I-I can’t breathe,” you huff, slowly sliding down the wall and into a small ball. “I-I can’t . . . I can’t . . .”

“You’re safe, I’m right here,” he says gently as he kneels down next to you. He takes one of your hands and places it on his chest as he puts one of his over your heart. “See? Right here. Right in the stock room. Just you and me. Nothing scary about the two of us, yeah? We’re friends. Nothing scary about that.”

“S-Steven. I-I . . .”

“What’s going on, (Y/N)?” 

“I—My—That man, w-with the gray button down,” you swallow hard. “H-He—He—.”

“You know him?”

“I do. I did. I do.”

“Alright, talk it out. You’re safe, love. It’s just me. You can talk to me about anything.”

Tears prick at your eyes as you try to keep yourself steady.

“His name is Theodore,” you start. “We were together for two years. He was great at first, but then . . .” Your fingers move to the back of your neck. “They were just cigarettes, quick little stings. The stings turned to slaps, and then punches.” You hug your knees to your chest. “At his worst, he slammed me into a mirror and then threw me down on the glass. I tumbled down the stairs after that. Three broken ribs, fractured wrist, glass in my arms and abdomen. There was so much blood . . .” You swallow hard. “He went to jail. I took a protective order out. Oh no, oh God—did it expire? No, no, no . . .”

You don’t realize the torrent of tears running down your face until a wet plop hits your arm as you continue to mutter in fear and panic. When it does, you let out a violent sob and begin to weep. Steven wraps his arms around you, holding your head against his chest and a comforting arm around your shoulder. He whispers soothing reassurances into your hair as you try to remember what he said earlier to ground yourself to him. You’re safe, right here in the stock room. You’re with Steven. You’re safe with Steven. 

“What are you—?” you hear Donna’s voice cut through the stock room.

“Not now, Donna!” he snaps, stopping her storming footsteps in her tracks. “Tell JB to get security ready. You stay with (Y/N)—I need to take care of something.”

“What the bloody hell do you think you’re doing, St—.”

He gets up and faces Donna. He’s never looked so bold before. “The man that abused (Y/N) and beat her within an inch of her life is in the museum,” he says lowly. “You stay here with her, radio over to JB and tell him to be ready, alright?”

Without waiting for a response, Steven walks out of the stock room and takes off his name tag, sliding it into his pocket. 

—

Steven wants to confront this pillock as himself, but he knows that he doesn’t exactly ooze intimidation, even when he’s as rilled up as he is right now. He doesn’t even need to call on Marc to front—he knows what to do.

“Really nice, huh?” Marc’s American accent rings quietly next to the man he wants to throw in front of a double decker bus. 

“It’s fine,” he shrugs at the mural hanging on the wall.

Marc takes a step closer, his voice entering a very threatening timbre. 

“I know why you’re here,” he growls. “And I think you should go.”

“I’m just here to look at some history. Besides, I’m free to be here. This is a public space,” he smirks. It seems innocent enough, but Marc recognizes the underlying venom in it.

“It is. But not for you. So unless you want to be escorted out—either by museum security or the police for violating a restraining order, you. Should. Go.”

“(Y/N) would never take out a restraining order against me.”

“Wouldn’t she? Because I believe by entering this museum, you’re in violation of the minimum required distance. So I suggest you leave now before you make a scene and become the source of gossip for the five different schools on field trips here today. If you don’t I will take care of you personally. And instead of being escorted out, you’ll be leaving in a body bag. Do I make myself clear?”

“What exactly will you do, pretty boy?” he sneers.

Khonshu briefly takes control, making Marc’s eyes glow a terrifying white. The man steps back in fear with wide eyes and a pale face. Without a word more, he takes some steps back and hurries out of the museum.

“Thanks, man,” Marc says to Khonshu.

No one threatens (Y/N) in such a manner, the god acknowledges. 

“How come you like her more than me?”

A lot of people are more likable than you. (Y/N) is too good for this mortal realm.

“That she is,” Marc sighs as he lets Steven front on the walk back to the storage room.

—

“Hey,” he whispers as he sits next to you on the floor, placing a careful hand on your knee. “It’s all over. He’s gone. It’s alright.”

“He is?” you ask.

“Gone,” he repeats. “Took care of him myself.” He looks up to Donna. “I think it’s best that (Y/N) go home for the rest of the day, maybe have tomorrow off too?”

“Yeah, no, exactly,” Donna says. So she does have a soul. “Take some time, (Y/N). Steven, why don’t you make sure she gets home alright, yeah?”

Steven offers you a hand and helps you stand, walking with a careful arm around your shoulder the entire way to the break room so you can grab your stuff. It’s like his embrace is helping hold you together, and you appreciate it so much. You undo your locker and grab your bag quickly before closing it and moving back towards Steven. As you pull the straps of your tote bag up on your shoulder, you stop dead in your tracks.

“I—He found where I work. What if he knows where I live?” you ask, your heart still racing like a hummingbird’s.

“He won’t bother you ever again, I promise you,” Steve assures you as he stands by your side. “But, if you’re uncomfortable going to your place, we . . . if you want . . . You could crash at my place for a day or two. You can have the mattress and everythin’. My, uh,—,” he clears his throat, “My sleepin’ disorder doesn’t let me do much with it other than sit and fiddle with a Rubik’s cube, so. It’d be good if it got used for it’s intended purposes, yeah?”

“I couldn’t put you out like that.”

Steven gives you a small smile. “But you’re not. I promise you, it’s no trouble at all.”

“As long as you’re sure I’m not gonna be an imposition on you, Steven.”

The look in his eyes that he gives you is so soft, and something seems to snap him out of it, because he starts to clumsily shake off his jacket. “You never could be,” he tells you, placing the warm article of clothing over your shoulders. “C’mon, then.”

“Any milk for your tea?” he asks as he stirs in a tiny bit of sugar.

“No, thank you,” you say as he approaches and hands you the turquoise mug. You let the warmth from the ceramic spread into your hands. “Thank you. For, um, . . .”

“Don’t even think about it, love,” he tells you. “I just glad I was there and could do something for you.”

You give him a small smile as you bring your lips to the mug. “Steven Grant: Giftshoppist, lover of Egyptology, and knight in shining armor,” you hum before you take a sip of the soothing liquid. Color rushes to Steven’s face as he ducks his head, muttering some kind of thanks before he sips his own tea. “It’s a good list of titles.”

“Only issue is that I can’t ride a horse,” he nervously chuckles. “What kind of knight can’t ride a horse?”

“Batman?” you smirk. “He is the Dark Knight. No horse involved.”

“I don’t have my license, either,” he smiles softly. “No Batmobile for ole Steven with a ‘V’.”

“Well, it doesn’t matter.” You swallow hard. “I don’t think you’ll ever be able to understand just how much it means to me, what you did.”

“Honestly, (Y/N), don’t even think about it.” He pinches the air in front of your forehead and throws an invisible something behind him. “See, out of mind.”

You give him a smile, your eyes gazing behind him and properly registering how many books he has. They catch my attention and you stand, your fingertips running over the spines.

“Wow,” you chuckle. “These are amazing.”

“You think so?” Steve asks, a new light beaming from his face. He gets up and joins you by the shelves, telling you all about the books and their contents. He grabs a few of them and you both sit back down on the couch, going through them together as Steven passionately tells you about Egypt. You listen attentively as he speaks, continuing to sip on your tea as he goes on, but your eyes eventually grow heavy.

“Oh, bugger,” he sighs as he looks at his watch. “I’ve talked your ear off for hours.”

“No, Steven, I’ve really enjoyed it. I love seeing you this happy about things,” you tell him. “I just don’t usually stay awake until—.” My eyes work to focus on the clock. “—1:14.”

“Well, then, I think it’s time you kip down, yeah?” he says with a tender smile. “I’ll grab you somethin’ to use for jammies. The bathroom is right over there, and there’s some extra toiletries and things in that tall side cupboard.”

Following Steven’s instructions, you freshen up. As you spit out the toothpaste in the sink, he gently knocks on the door. 

“I’ve got you a long sleeve and some loungers,” he announces through the door. “They’ll probably be a little roomy on you, but better than work clothes, yeah?”

You open the door and see Steven already changed into his pajamas. “Thank you, Steven,” you tell him softly as you take the clothes from his hands. He nods and leaves you be, and soon, you are out of the bathroom, placing your clothes on the seat of one of the chairs in the kitchen. Steven sits on the sofa, his reading glasses on as he curls towards the table lamp.

“Are you sure I can take the mattress?” you ask.

“Of course you can,” he smiles softly as he raises his book. “I’ve got Mr. Alexander the Great to keep me occupied.”

You can’t help but adore this man. He’s patient, kind, and so caring. As you walk to the bed, you detour behind the couch and place a kiss on top of his curly hair.

“Thank you,” you tell him as the air grows thick with nerves. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“G’night,” he says, his voice barely audible in the silent apartment.

Moving to the bed, you slide under the covers, letting the scent of Steven completely devour you. Not only is he in the clothes, he’s in the pillow, sheets—he’s in the wooden shelves behind the bed. You roll to your side and nestle your face into the pillows, taking in a deep breath to get as much of the smell of him as you can. It’s incredibly soothing, but every time you try to go to sleep, a fear radiates through your body and scares you awake. 

“Steven?” you ask, sitting up on the mattress.

“Mm?” he hums, gazing at you over his glasses as he lowers the pages of the book.

“Would you mind sitting with me until I feel asleep? It just feels like something is gonna grab onto me and suck me away.”

Steven knits his eyebrows together in tender concern, nodding his head as he drops the book in his hands, moving across the studio to slide in next to you on the mattress so he can hold you like earlier. You snuggle down on the mattress and rest your head on his chest, hearing his heartbeat as loud and clear as a steady drum.

“You know, the ironic thing is, I was finally starting to make peace with it. I hadn’t thought about it in years. And then he comes in, and it’s like I’m in the thick of it all over again.”

“You’re safe,” Steven softly assures you as he adjusts his wrapped arms around your body. “I promise you.”

You lie there in silence for a few minutes, the warmth of his body and the beat of his heart help keep you present and not sliding into memories you have worked to suppress.

“Have I ever told you about the greatest love story in all of Ancient Egypt?” he says quietly.

“No,” you say as you nuzzle your head into his chest.

Steven’s thumb begins to rub up and down your arm absentmindedly. 

“One day, Osiris came down to Egypt to rule as Pharaoh; he was wise and powerful, and he helped Egypt prosper. His brother, Set, was jealous, so he arranged for a beautifully decorated and adorned sarcophagus to be made that fit his brother. That night, Set threw a big party where his brother was the guest of honor, and there was this game to fit in the sarcophagus. Once Osiris got in, Set slammed the lid shut and brought it down to the Nile and dumped it in. Isis grabbed her baby son, Horus, and got the hell out of dodge before they could get hurt. Once they were safe, she scoured the Nile to to look for the sarcophagus. Now here, tellin’s of the myth don’t line up exactly, but in some form or another Osiris’ body is found and it’s in fourteen separate pieces, so Isis and Nepthys put him back together to do the proper burial rituals and create the mummification process. The only issue is is that he’s missin’ his . . . well, little pharaoh, so Isis makes a temporary replacement. Once they’ve reverse Humpty-Dumpty’d Osiris, he comes back to life. But since he’s both alive and kind of dead, he becomes ruler of the underworld. Isis’ love and devotion to Osiris was so powerful, she wouldn’t even let death get in her way. It’s beautiful.”

“It makes you wonder if that kind of love still exists,” you say, just above a whisper.

“Of course it does. When you find the right person, that is. I guess half the trouble is finding that person, innit? But then it’s all worth it when you do.”

“If you do.”

“Don’t think like that. Of course you will find the right person. It’s me who oughta be worried.”

The silence is loud, and you swallow hard. “I’d search the Nile for your sarcophagus,” you confess. It sounds utterly morbid, but the sentiment behind it is genuine. You love Steven, and you have for probably as long as you have known him. You feel Steven’s breath hitch and can hear his heart begin racing before he places a careful cheek on the top of your head. 

“I think I’d do just about anythin’ for you,” he breathes.

Your heart flutters, and as much as you want to hold him, kiss his lips, pour out your heart to him, you just can’t do it. Not after how this day has gone. You’d never want Steven to think you’re advancing onto him because of your own trauma. You turn your body around and bury a majority of your face into his soft waffle shirt. Oh, it smells amazing. It smells like him—sandalwood, vanilla, and old books. You want nothing more than for this smell to fill your lungs until they overflow, all your senses being absorbed into Steven.

—

She looks so beautiful.

I know. I love her.

I know. I do, too.

But we can’t exactly tell her that now.

Well, yeah, not now. Thank you, for earlier.

You know I’d do anything for her. Just like you would.

Steven shifts his gaze down to look at the top of her head. Her hair looks so shiny, she’s so warm, and she smells so good. If this was the moment that he died, he’d be fine with it; holding onto her, feeling the rise and fall of her chest against his body, inhaling nostril fulls of just pure you . . . His heart races when you give him hugs, and you lying on him is like a hug on steroids. He feels euphoric.

I feel like my heart is gonna burst straight out of my chest if I don’t tell her. No one has ever made me feel like this.

Steven—.

I know, but, it feel like I’m leading her on—manipulating her. It’s not fair to her. She should know. She should know about you, too.

I agree, but, she’s been through a lot today. You know that, I know that, Khonshu knows that. We just . . . we need to wait.

—

“Steven?” you ask quietly, your voice slightly muffled by his shirt.

“Yea?” he asks. He sounds almost taken off guard.

“I love you,” you admit. If not now, you don’t think you’ll ever have the guts to tell him. “I have for a while. And after everything that happened today, well, I want you to know. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

The longer Steven stays silent, the worse you feel. You’ve ruined it. You’ve ruined it all, and you’re gonna lose the most incredible, kind, and loving man you have ever met because you told him you’ve been in love with him since you met him.

“Why me?” he breathes, his voice mixed with shock and awe. “I’m . . . I work at a gift shop.”

You move out of his hold and look at him, your heart hurting at the sentiment.

“You can’t really think that’s all you are, Steven,” you say softly. Now you want to cry for a different reason.

“You’re just so, personable and wonderful and kind and intelligent,” he responds. “I just don’t understand why you see me like that.”

Tears pick at your eyes. “Because you saw me when I felt invisible. You were kind to me when you didn’t have to be. You care so much. There’s no one else like you, Steven. I’ve never felt safer with anybody in my life than I do with you.” You close your eyes and take a breath. “I should have said something sooner, and I—.”

You don’t get to finish your sentence. Steven cuts you off with the biggest, tightest of hugs. One arm is firmly wrapped around your waist while the other is gripped firmly around the back of your neck. He buries his face in the crook of your neck, the warmth of his breath feeling so comforting on your skin. You hold him back just as tightly, afraid to let him slip away.

“I love you so much,” he mutters into your skin. “I didn’t want to lose you, so I’ve said nothing for years, and for years I’ve regretted it when I come home from work. I try to tell you every day, and every day you take my breath away so much, I bloody well lose my nerve. I’m sorry I never told you.”

You inhale his scent and play with the hair at the nape of his neck. You want to absorb Steven into your body. This man is unlike any human you have ever met, and he feels the same way about you that you do him.

“Steven?” you ask into his shoulder. “Can you . . . Can you stay with me tonight?”

He runs a hand over your hair to smooth down the locks.

“Of course,” he whispers. “Come on, then.”

Keeping a tight hold on you, he slowly lies you down on the mattress, resting you on the pillows and pulling the blankets over your bodies. If you felt comforted in Steven’s sheets before, you’re now the epitome of tranquil as you lie with him in bed, letting your eyes close as you fall asleep on his chest.

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[giac222]

I’m an Ashley Graves lover and defender till the end 🤞🏻🩷.

This is going to be a deep dive and a pretty long post, just a heads up! There’s a point in the beginning where I briefly discuss something else regarding TCOAAL because I felt that it ties in, but this post will mostly be focusing on Ashley + her experiences, and a little about how Andrew isn’t actually a doormat, not even close. 😶

Let’s get into it:

I adore her and I have the biggest soft spot for her, my empathy for her is through the damn roof. She’s a product of her environment, she wasn’t born the way she is (Andrew wasn’t either). It’s frustrating to see people claim she was born evil. I’d go as far to argue that she isn’t completely evil either. Her soul is the color of pitch black according to the demon in the game. But why is that? What caused it? The reason for this is because of how she’s been treated by everyone else around her throughout her whole life. It’s not like she asked or wanted to become a “tar soul”. Her environment made her sour, it made her hate people.. including herself.

After Ashley sacrifices the warden to the demon, when she’s thinking to herself, a text box comes up that says “You decide not to linger on the fact that your soul is apparently a vicious, pitch-black mess.” and after that we see another one that says “Guess you already knew that”.

I was thinking to myself, why the hell am I so attached to this character? Lmao. Why do I have such a huge soft spot for her? Then when I was thinking about it I realized it’s because I relate to some of what she’s been through. Especially her terribly low self-esteem that causes her to feel unlovable, ooo that hit home for me. For quite some time I dealt with that, and let me tell you, it truly is an awful feeling. It can make you very mean and bitter. It quite literally eats away at you. I’m 22 now and I’m able to reflect on those past experiences, that’s when I realized how bad it really was. When it comes to someone having poor self-esteem and not much self worth, it stems from somewhere. People don’t just randomly start hating themselves, there’s something that causes it to happen. It could be from a variety of things such as trauma, childhood experiences, comparison to others, and discrimination.

It truly sucks to see how many people online that seem to hate her (not on Tumblr, but almost everywhere else). Her backstory breaks my heart, it’s tragic, and it seems that people completely ignore what she’s gone through and what she STILL goes through.

I also hate that the game has kind of, in a way, become a meme due to the controversy. This game delves into very serious and depressing topics, so for losers online with 0 media literacy to water it down to “the incest game” is sooo agitating. This is just a personal opinion of mine, but I also feel as though the controversy made people play the game for the wrong reasons. Including a lot of “edgy” teenagers 😬. I don’t think I need to elaborate on that, I’ve touched on it before in a different post. I mean the amount of loud and wrong takes I’ve seen about the game… All I can do is shake my head 💀.

So, I’ll share my (maybe?) controversial opinion that some of the “fanbase” is part of the problem too, not just the people who hate the game that don’t even know what’s going on. I’ve talked about this before so I’ll keep it brief, but I feel it fits in the post so I’m including it. But on the game’s subreddit there are people who will reduce the game itself to fap material, and it doesn’t make sense to me because there’s quite literally nothing overly sexual or explicit in the game?? Even in the questionable route vision we don’t see anything explicit, we just know what happens. I’m like have y’all forgotten that this is a PSYCHOLOGICAL HORROR game?? How some of these people managed to reduce Nemlei’s work that she clearly put a lot of thought and effort into that covers dark topics and serious issues to fap material is beyond me…. What a way… just what a way. Let’s hope they get weeded out of the fandom before ch. 3 drops 🙏🏻.

Just to clarify so no one gets confused, I’m NOT referring to people who create NSFW art/posts of the game, like duh you guys know I love Ashley and Andrew 🤭🤭. I know what I’m about! 😂. Seriously though, I’m referring to people in the Reddit community who will quite literally just take people’s NSFW art (any fan art in general really) and upload it there without the artist’s consent (edit: I think if they give credit it’s not a big deal, and some artists may not care regardless. Some probably care, some don’t). It just seems like the NSFW stuff is the only thing a lot of them care about, and the shit they say is so unhinged at times I’m like???? Seek help. (Obviously it isn’t all of the members, but it’s definitely a lot speaking from my personal experience there before I left). In a way, I can’t blame outsiders for side eyeing the fanbase if that’s their first impression.

Between the amount of haters TCOAAL has and some of the questionable “fans”…. Yeah, we’re in the trenches 😂. That’s part of the reason why I left the server and now only participate in the Tumblr community. Not even trying to gate-keep or sound like an asshole, but a lot of the Reddit community doesn’t fit the game. I said what I said! As I’ve said before in a previous post, most of the trash takes I’ve seen on the game stem from there, and YouTube too. 😬

TCOAAL is a game that requires you to think and dig deeper, that’s why I love it. It touches on very heavy topics. Tbh it’s not something you can simply take at face value, that just defeats the purpose.

Now that that’s out of the way, let’s talk about Ashley! 🩷✨

When you pay attention to all the details and look deeper into Ashley’s character, you see that Ashley has quite literally been treated like shit her entire life by EVERYONE around her except for Andrew. That’s why it’s so easy for her to treat people as disposable, because that’s how SHE was treated her entire life 💔.

This scene specifically proves that:

Andrew really is everything to her. That boy is her sun, her moon, and all of her stars. 🥲💚. We see that he’s her main, and basically only source of happiness. He’s the only thing/person she cares about. I find it genuinely heartbreaking that he has been the only person Ashley could depend on throughout her life. Due to this, it makes sense as to why Ashley goes to such extreme measures to keep him around. if she lost him, she’d have no one else. So of course she’s scared that he’ll leave her. Even though we know he’ll stick by her side no matter what, Ashley does not. She’s quite literally the love of his life but she doesn’t know that. 😩

Then again, Andrew doesn’t show it, so of course she doesn’t get it. He’s never said I love you back to her, the closest we get to that is when he says “I like you… but you’re so exhausting” after their huge fight. If you look closely at his face in that scene, you’ll see gray blush lines on his cheek. Ashley has been abandoned by everyone except for Andrew, she needs validation and reassurance from him to know that he’s there to stay. He doesn’t really give that to her though, but he needs to STAT! As I said, we know he’s in it for the long haul, but Ashley does not.

You see, Ashley operates under the idea that Andrew doesn’t actually care about her. She believes that he couldn’t love her of his own will and that she has to manipulate in order for him to stay. I hold the opinion that she doesn’t do those things because she necessarily wants to, she does it because she feels like she has to in order to keep him around. She manipulates, but she isn’t very good at it 🫣.

Thinking about their huge fight in apartment 302 after Andrew killed that lady (she definitely did not attack him first, but we’ll get into that in a minute). When Andrew’s choking Ashley she brings up the fact that she’s the only one who can make his nightmares go away, but guess what we see in ch. 2? Before going to snoop on the cultist, if you go back to their motel room and you interact with the bed. A text box pops up that says “oh yeah, you tooootally have nightmares as often as you claim.”.. So, we now know that Andrew doesn’t actually have that many nightmares, he uses it as an excuse because he wants to sleep next to Ashley and be close to her.

Back to the apartment 302 incident, when Ashley goes back to that apartment after completing the ritual, she sees that Andrew killed the lady that lived there, he claims she attempted to attack him with the nail gun, but the nail gun was in the same damn spot! People should’ve started side eyeing him at that point in the game. I know I did LOL, “doormat extraordinaire” my ass 😂. Btw, there are people who genuinely believe he tried to sleep with the lady in 302, but she wouldn’t do it so he killed her….. 🤦🏻‍♀️. I wish I was joking.

Anyway, in Andrew’s dream when we go over the justified deaths, with the lady in 302, the first reason he mentions is “Ashley would have wanted to kill this one anyway” then he brings up no witnesses. To me, the fact that the first reason he mentions is Ashley wanting to kill her anyway showed that he killed her for Ashley more than anything. I mean, It did make Ashley happy that she died. He didn’t say anything about getting attacked, although it was obvious that was a lie already lmao. I believe that’s why he got so frustrated, which led to him getting pissed off after Ashley started accusing him of trying to sleep with that woman. Especially because once she started, it escalated quickly and she just kept going.. He was like “girl??? I literally killed this woman for YOU.” I could be wrong, but that was my interpretation on the situation.

Another interesting thing I thought about was how during their argument, Andrew tells Ashley to butt out of his love life, and that she always makes up some bullshit crisis for him to leave/stay when he’s out or about to leave to go meet up with someone. But in the flashback with Julia during his dream, while she’s raising genuine concern and mentions that it could be good for Ashley to learn some independence for her own sake. Also for Andrew to stop cutting things short on her, for the sake of their relationship, and so they can spend more time together. Andrew responds to that with “If your sister needed something, wouldn’t you go?” 👀. Andrew likes Ashley being dependent on him, he doesn’t want her to become independent. During their heated argument he admits to knowing her so called crisis she has before he leaves is “bullshit”. Yet he still chooses to leave to be with her anyway. Because again, Ashley’s the love of his life, people can deny it all they want but the proof is right there lmao. Not to mention he looked so sad hugging Julia until he asked her to tie her hair up… I see right through you Andrew 😂.

Also, him bringing up Nina’s death (Julia’s best friend) and lying to Julia’s face about it like he had no part in it, that was actually scary not going to lie 🫢. Plus him lying about Nina’s death affecting Ashley…like you know damn well. After their huge fight, Ashley said she was glad that Nina choked, which Andrew responded with “I know you are”.

That’s the thing about Andrew, he’s very good at lying and we see multiple examples of this in the game. When they were at their parents house Ashley decided to stay quiet because she couldn’t keep up with Andrew’s lies. In a different post of mine I talked about how “Andy” was a facade, but Ashley doesn’t understand that yet. She thinks he’s changing for the worst, but in reality he’s always been that way. His true colors are just now finally coming out.

Andrew and Ashley both had a shitty upbringing. I mean Mrs.Graves made Andrew take care of Ashley when he was a child, and I remember in a flashback he asked Ashley if she wanted to go with him because their mom gave him money for groceries, like ma’am why are you making your child go out to buy groceries??? Also, at the end of the day, she sold them both to organ harvesters. However, Andrew was treated somewhat better than Ashley during their childhood. We see this through the plushies in the puzzle before the questionable route vision, if you set Ashley’s plushie down at the table she immediately falls off. At their parents new home during dinner, Ashley sat on a mini ladder while everyone else had a chair, and simply the fact that Mrs.Graves gave Andrew their new house address, but didn’t give it to Ashley. They always shut Ashley out, they never cared about her nor did they try.

Now, let’s talk about one of, in my opinion, the saddest parts of the game. The flashback of Leyley’s birthday 🥲.

We see that neither her parents nor her friends cared about her birthday, they didn’t even try. She looked so sad talking about her friends here 😭. The fact that she brought up how her friends are always busy when she asks them for something shows that this is a recurring thing, her friends suck. I am in tearsss. I’m sick rn, she deserves everything and more. Andrew attempted to make her birthday special for her at least 🥺.

Also, I know Julia seems sweet from what we’ve seen, but I’m suspicious of her tbh 👀. We know Ashley hung out around her and Nina. I remember seeing one of the screenshots from a progress report where Andrew asks them if they could invite Ashley to sit with them sometime at lunch, so I’m assuming that’s how their “friendship” started.

Nina had a crush on Andrew, and Julia ended up dating him later on. I think it’s possible they only hung out with her just to get closer to Andrew. Julia wasn’t a very good friend to Ashley it seems, so it makes sense that she wouldn’t be thrilled about them dating. Especially because Andrew is the most important, well, really the only important person to her.

Something else to think about when it comes to people in Ashley’s life outside of Andrew: After Andrew killed the warden to protect Ashley and before they left their neighbors apartment, Ashley tells Andrew “I don’t give a rat’s ass about mom or dad. Or any of my so-called friends anymore.” and “Not one of them felt it necessary to answer my calls…”. When she says this she looks very upset. So, even in present time, Ashley still gets treated like shit by everyone around her except for Andrew, this has been an ongoing thing since her childhood.

Next up is this scene with Mrs.Graves while setting up the ritual:

This was after Ashley says “Lookie ma! I drew a circle!”. Mrs.Graves immediately starts putting her down. Ashley’s response to what her mom said shows me that this is something that commonly happened. I’m sure there were many times in Ashley’s life where she’d attempt to impress her mom and receive praise, but would immediately get shut down by her instead. The more I think about how terribly Ashley was really treated, the more sad I get about it, what the fuck 😭.

Ok, last thing to dissect. I wanted to talk about this comment from a YouTube video that came up under the “all” section on there. Beware, it might make you lose braincells. 💀

“Ashley is heavily sexualized” let me stop you right there ✋🏻 lmao. No she is not. At least to me she isn’t, I never got the impression that the game sexualized her. A lot of male players sexualize her (because of course they do 🙄), but the game? I disagree. You could say Ashley views herself as a sex object, but that doesn’t mean she’s sexualized by the game. She views herself that way because of her low self-esteem and the fact that she doesn’t believe someone could genuinely love her. Not to mention her internalized misogyny. Source? I’m speaking from experience. Having terribly low self-esteem really does drive you to dark places. It can lead to you basing your self-worth on people finding you sexually attractive or just attractive in general, like your self worth is based on your looks alone. That’s how you get validation even if it’s from a not so good place. It wears off pretty fast though, and it leaves a poor after taste. It’s only a temporary “good” feeling. If you don’t like yourself, no amount of attention will be ever good enough for you or truly make you feel better.

“Goth-esque fetish ware”, first of all it’s “wear”, and the “fetish wear” in question is just shorts, a black shirt, and a choker 💀. I cannot lmfao. Does that mean Andrew has “goth-esque fetish wear” too? Bc him and Ashley literally dress the same 😂. Not that this matters, but Ashley and Andrew are more emo to me lmao.

“She’s definitely a manipulative psychopath”… opinion immediately discarded because of this part of the comment alone.

“Her heavily sexualized existence”…. Don’t piss me off 🙄 like??? I can’t believe they said that. People with a brain larger than the size of an atom know that Ashley’s entire existence isn’t sexualized, I’d argue that it’s quite literally the opposite. It’s almost like they want Ashley to be this seductive sex kitten, but she just isn’t that. They project that onto her. I feel like some people think that Ashley simply existing with a bigger bust means she’s automatically sexualized, some men feel this way about women with bigger busts in real life too, so them doing it to a fictional character doesn’t shock me. Worms for brains I swear.

The comment Ashley makes about her “big fat tits” in the motel room during her mini argument with Andrew was literally so unserious. There’s the scene where Andrew was lying on the couch in their parents house when Ashley wakes him up out of his dream, and we see him looking at her boobs from his POV. However, that was literally so mild, you hardly even saw anything lmfao. I feel like Nemlei added that in to show that Andrew’s sexually attracted to her, plus it was a little before the scene where Ashley playfully bites him, and (in my opinion) where they almost fully crossed the line (because of Andrew mind you) before their mom came in. We all saw that pillow placement 😂. There are other signs of him being attracted to her before that as well, like when we see him push the thought of hugging her to the back of his mind “where it may fester with all the thoughts he wish he never had” + that scene in the kitchen where he was sort of touching her butt and had his fingers through her belt loop, but when their mom came in he jerked away and looked as if he got caught.

People will claim that Ashley is the only one that’s incestuous and that she “forced” it onto Andrew, but in ch. 2, we see that Andrew is arguably more incestuous than she is. Ashley loves Andrew to death, but she isn’t exactly horny for him the same way he’s horny for her. Think about their reactions to the questionable route vision. Ashley was pretty chill about it, while Andrew was beat red and embarrassed because his repressed inner thoughts just got exposed. The demon clocked his tea 😂.

I’ve spoken about this before so I’ll keep it brief, when it comes to sex Ashley doesn’t care much about it and views it as transactional, as something she can use for personal gain. As I kind of said already, to me, her viewing herself as a sex object and having that view on sex in general ties into the fact that she has internalized misogyny and her personal belief that she’s unlovable. So, not only does she view herself as a sex object, but you could say that she also views other women as sex objects too.

This is my personal opinion which I’ve shared before, but when her and Andrew fully cross the line (because they’re definitely going to) and he finally shows her that he loves her as well, I think her views on sex may change a bit. That she’ll start seeing it as something out of love that they can both enjoy. As something they can experience together, instead of her ignoring her own desires and being his personal sex object to use to attempt to keep him around.

Do I think that Ashley isn’t horny for him at all? Tbh no. I mean she literally says she assumed it would happen between them eventually anyway, so she’s definitely thought about it before. However, it’s nowhere near Andrew’s level lmao. We know Ashley is a virgin and honestly, I think Andrew is the only one she’d happily lose it to. If she were to sleep with anyone else, I doubt she’d enjoy it and would only use it as personal gain for something. As of right now, she views sex as a way of keeping Andrew around, however, I feel this is because of the fact that she doesn’t actually think he loves her and will stay with her on his own. She loves Andrew and wants to be with him, she wants him to reciprocate her love. As I like to say, Andrew’s her boo 😂, that girl doesn’t want anyone else.

Alright, let’s finish dissecting that goofy YouTube comment.

“practically puts the usually male players protective instincts into overdrive.” I don’t know wtf this means lmao, but it made me cringe. Some men need to be banned from speaking on Ashley until we figure out what’s going on 😂. Bc every time they speak on her I lose braincells. “Protective instincts” yet they quite literally don’t understand anything about her character or her struggles 💀. Maybe sit this one out lmao.

Not to sound like a broken record, but a big part of Ashley’s character is that she has very low self-worth and that she doesn’t believe people, more specifically Andrew, could actually love her (💔). I mean think about how she’s been treated for her whole life, it makes sense as to why she developed those feelings about herself and others. Her mindset is “well people never cared about me, so why would I care about them?”. Having people regularly treat you like shit takes a toll on your self-esteem and impacts your world view. Especially if it happens in your childhood.

Ashley quite literally loves Andrew more than she loves herself. I want better for her :’( and she deserves better too. I don’t care about the Ashley haters opinions. There are people who believe that she’s faking her low self-esteem in order to manipulate Andrew….. 🤦🏻‍♀️. Have you even paid attention to anything in the game?? That’s one of the biggest things about her character like hello?

I should have added this in earlier oops, but I’m adding it in now. After her and Andrew first talk to the lady in 302 and they leave her apartment, Ashley asks why the lady got special treatment but they didn’t, and why she didn’t get any food. Andrew responds with “maybe you just aren’t pretty enough”, he wasn’t being serious, but she took it that way. It didn’t help that he said “I mean… wasn’t she?” After Ashley asked if he thought she was pretty. That’s why Ashley wanted to shoot her after the ritual. You can see Ashley looks upset when she asks “do you really think I’m not pretty enough?”. Then gets angry and says “So ugly am I, that I shouldn’t even be fed?”. This is her insecurity and low self-esteem kicking in on full display.

This is a similar situation to what happened when her and Andrew were looking for something to lock Nina in the crate with at the warehouse. She asked him what he thought about Nina and if he found her pretty. He said “she’s fine… I guess”, which made Ashley unhappy. Even though Andrew wasn’t into her, like at all. Ashley has been dealing with insecurity and low self-esteem ever since she was a little girl 😭. I’m so upset for her like you guys have no idea.

After Ashley traps Nina in the crate, there’s a point where she’s crying and says “It’s not fair!! Why does everyone like her better??” “I’m loud and weird and annoying and no one likes me at all!!!”. 😭. My heart is breaking as we speak. It’s hard for me to believe she said all of that just to manipulate Andrew in that scene. I know in ch. 3 we will be delving more into their childhood, and I have a theory that Ashley was also bullied in school. I mean to refer to herself as loud, weird, annoying, and to say that no one likes her at all. That absolutely came from somewhere, and I don’t think it was just from Mrs.Graves.

So, to see people with the emotional depth of a raindrop get online and say that she’s solely the problem, that Andrew needs to get rid of her, and that she’s simply just evil… is, to put it lightly, very annoying. I’m gonna say something, you know I love both Ashley and Andrew, but we need to be honest! People give Andrew too much of a pass. I mean they literally excuse all of the terrible things he’s done and blame Ashley for “making” him do it. They give him a pass for everything, but have 0 empathy for Ashley despite everything going wrong in her life since she was born. They completely ignore that she’s a product of her environment. When it comes down to it, what good experiences in life has she really had?

Also, Andrew is more violent than Ashley is. I think that’s self explanatory. People seem to forget that she quite literally just wants to live a peaceful life with Andrew. During the “quarantine” while they were still in their old apartment, she says “Aside from the starving, it’s not so bad here.” and “Aside from starving, I like it here”. Ashley doesn’t want to live a life of violence and chaos, and we see this in the room before unlocking the door that leads us to the two burial route choices. If you place the knife down (violence) nothing happens, but when you place the flower down (love) - (my bad guys originally I put heart instead of flower, I changed it!) - the door becomes unlocked. She also gets upset when Andrew tells her that they can’t live at their parents new house, she literally doesn’t want to be on the run and just wants stability.

On Pinterest, I see girls talk about how much they hate Ashley in the comment sections. They literally just do this because they think Andrew’s hot 😂. Especially when they call her a bitch, like grow up 🙄. I’ve also seen people refer to her as a “pick me”?? Literally how? Immature teens need to be banned from playing this game LOL. It’s giving those male celebrity fandoms that dig to find anything “problematic” on a girl said male celebrity is dating just because they’re pissed it isn’t them, they don’t actually care if she’s problematic or not.

It’s literally just misogyny, they do this a lot to women in media. Breaking Bad is the biggest example of this, the people that act like Skyler White is worse than Walter are delusional as hell. Sorry, but If you’re misogynistic, lack empathy and/or emotional depth, TCOAAL isn’t for you 🤷🏻‍♀️. Period. That’s why the game deserves a better fanbase than the one it has outside of Tumblr. It deserves better in general.

They don’t care to look into why Ashley is the way she is. If it wasn’t obvious already, Andrew brings out Ashley’s worst behavior and blames her for making him do bad things. In his mind he can’t be guilty, so he needs something on the outside to blame (Ashley). Mrs.Graves contributes to this btw, during the setup of the ritual before they sacrificed her and Mr.Graves she was pretty much saying “I know you don’t want to do this, I know she’s making you do it!” 🤦🏻‍♀️. She sounds like one of those boy moms that go “my son didn’t do shit!” 😂.

The worst are the people who reduce Ashley to fap material and a “hot crazy girl they can fix or make worse” 🤪, and basically fetishize her (unchecked) mental health issues that contribute to how she acts. Again, she’s had crippling insecurities and low self-esteem since she was a kid, Ashley has had just about 0 good life experiences outside of the ones with Andrew. So it is incredibly frustrating to see. I’m like I hate y’all I really do, read the damn room 🙄. They need to stop projecting their weirdo shit onto her.

People who fetishize mental illness and talk about how they want to “date a crazy bitch” are so gross. If/when they actually date someone with said mental health issues, when things get bad and they don’t fit the fantasy anymore, they’ll get disgusted and drop the person struggling with mental issues like trash. Anytime I see a guy say “crazy girls with mental issues are better in bed!”…. I’m like I know what type of man you are 🫥…. Perish 🗣️.

Ashley and Andrew both have unchecked mental illness, we know this. It’s quite literally not their fault. However, I personally don’t feel comfortable diagnosing them. Every time I see someone online say they were a born a psychopath, sociopath, etc. I lose brain cells. Mind you, I’m literally majoring in psychology and I still don’t feel comfortable diagnosing them.

To wrap things up because I know this post is LONG! I empathize with both Andrew and Ashley because they’ve both been dealt a bad hand in life. Their parents failed them in every way, and the society they live in is totally dystopian. However, when it comes to Ashley specifically? I have all the empathy for her in the world, especially because I understand some of the things she’s dealt with and how painful it really is. Digging deeper into her character shows you that she has quite literally been through hell and back. You can say she’s a victim turned villain, but honestly? I don’t really even consider her a villain, maybe that’s controversial to say but 🤷🏻‍♀️, I don’t think she’s irredeemable either. She’s someone who was hurt very badly, her wounds run deep, and she never really got to heal from any of it.

I just want her and Andrew to have a happy ending, it would be nice for them to experience genuine happiness for once. I would also like to see Ashley gain some self love in ch. 3, maybe Andrew will be able to help her with that in a way as their relationship improves.

Honestly, people who act like the questionable burial route is the “bad” ending are in denial so bad. Nemlei has said that “Burial” and “Decay” aren’t an indicator of a “good” or “bad” ending though. There will also be multiple outcomes to discover. I’m both excited, and scared lol.

I love Ashley Graves so much as a character, she’s so interesting and complex. I don’t play about her 😂. When it comes to defending her I’m on the frontlines lmao. The misogyny/hate when it comes to her is crazyyy. I’ll be the odd one out I don’t care, she’s my girlie 💕. It’s always refreshing to see other people who adore her and actually understand her as a character.

~~~~~~~~

Thank you so much for reading ❤️. I think this is my longest post yet 😳.

Also, a big thank you to everyone for all of the notes on my TCOAAL posts! I truly appreciate it. I’m so glad other people adore this game just as much as I do. :)

Unfortunately I’m not able to follow people back since this is a side blog. :/, but I do really appreciate everyone that follows me, I hope you like what I post. 💜

I’m currently working on creating an ooak doll of Ashley! 🤭💕. I’m SO excited to finish it and post her!

I plan on making a post about the Decay route at some point, because I realized I haven’t discussed it much. Probably because that route makes me sad 😓. However, it’s still incredibly interesting and I’m both excited and nervous to see where it goes.

#that one girl who don’t play about ashley graves #ashley graves’s defense attorney #tcoaal spoilers #tcoaal #the coffin of andy and leyley #nemlei #ashley graves #andrew graves #coffincest #gravecest #leyley graves #andy graves #kit9 #i hate reddit #i hate stupid people #this is a pretty long post oops #long post #longer post #just my thoughts

[chishiyasleftnut]

Hi! („• ֊ •„) This is a long one (divided into two parts), inspired by various bots from Cherubin on Character AI. I hope you’ll enjoy it!!

Stuck With You (part 2)

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤 Warnings: Smut. Pairing: Chishiya x fem!reader.

Plot: After getting separated from Arisu and the others when the King of Spades attacked, Chishiya and fem!reader camps out together on the outskirts of Tokyo.

Part 1 word count: 2000. (Click here to read!) Part 2 word count: 2793. 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Drip, drip, drip

You must have cursed yourself when you rejoiced in the lack of rain earlier that day, because when night hit it was once more pouring down. The constant sound of rain hitting the thin, waterproof fabric of the tent, which at this point had been keeping you awake for hours, seemed to have no end.

Perhaps it was the fact that the small two-man tent Chishiya had found at a deserted convenience store (they really sell everything, huh?) was not exactly the best quality, doing little to keep the cold out and heat in that kept you from dozing off. At least it was dry. All things considered, dry was heaps better than wet.

Just as you had decided to close your eyes to at least rest a bit, a loud bang disturbed you as thunder rang through the forest. Instinctively, you grabbed Chishiya’s hand out of fear, not even realising what you had done. Chishiya, who had otherwise been sleeping soundly through the storm, woke up at the sudden contact but didn’t pull his hand away.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, still half asleep as he rubbed his eyes with his free hand.

Not wanting to admit that thunder had scared you, you lied. “Nothing.”

Even in the pitch-black darkness, you could sense the growing grin on Chishiya’s lips. Although he was sleepy, nothing could stop him from being a mild dick to you at every chance possible.

“Then why are you holding my hand?”

Your hand immediately recoiled from his as if he was toxic, instead placing it on your chest.

“I wasn’t.”

“Come on, I’m not stupid. I know what I felt.”

“You felt nothing, okay?”

The sound of Chishiya amusedly huffing air out of his nose filled your ears, but to your surprise he didn’t say anything else for a while. Somehow that was even worse, leaving you no distraction from the terrible feeling of embarrassment that spread from your chest and all the way out to your fingertips.

“It was kinda nice, though,” Chishiya finally said casually, his tone not sounding like a joke.

Your head snapped towards his only to realise your faces were mere centimetres apart. Despite this, neither of you looked away.

“What?” you almost whispered, unsure if you heard him right.

“I said that it was kinda nice.”

Nice? He thought holding hands was nice? That couldn’t be true, Chishiya didn’t seem like the type of guy to get any comfort from physical contact - quite the contrary actually. He had always kept to himself, never initiating any touching with you that wasn’t strictly necessary for survival.

Astute as he was, Chishiya was perfectly able to read the confused expression on your face, somehow almost entering your mind and listening to the little voice in your head that was currently arguing with itself.

“I’m not a robot, you know,” he began with the tiniest smirk on his lips. There was something endearing in the way your befuddled eyes hectically darted around his face to make sense of his words. “Hand holding is nice.”

To your surprise, you felt Chishiya’s fingers inching closer to your body, inviting you to take his hand once again. He didn’t want to just forcefully grab your hand - that would ruin the comfort part of hand holding. It wasn’t long before your own hand shakily moved from your chest and down your body until your hands touched once more.

Slowly, almost as if he was afraid to scare you away with too sudden movements, Chishiya’s fingers perfectly interlocked with yours, squeezing you slightly and running his thumb up and down the back of your hand. It was surprisingly calming. Nice, even.

“Your hands are cold.”

Chishiya continued to run his warm thumb soothingly across the almost freezing skin of the back of your hand.

“Well, it’s cold outside.”

“Still,” he said, his eyes darting from your face and down to your hand. “Do you have any issues with blood circulation?”

You laughed at the sudden seriousness of his question. “What are you, a doctor?”

“Something like that,” he said vaguely with a smile, finding humour in your words that you didn’t get yourself, while his eyes locked in on yours again. You had never really talked about your lives before the borderlands with him. He was way too secretive to let anyone in like that, and you respected it. Getting close with someone in this world only leads to heartbreak. It was better if you didn’t know more than you needed to. 

For a moment, the only sound audible was that of raindrops hitting the polyester walls of the tent. However, this time you didn’t mind the silence. For once it wasn’t awkward but actually quite soothing. Even the eye contact with Chishiya felt comforting. It felt so… human?

“You know,” Chishiya finally broke the silence. The mischievous twinkle in his eyes told you that he was about to ruin the otherwise serene moment with some dumb comment. “If you’re cold, you can just move closer to me.”

You almost choked on air. “I’m sorry?”

“You can move closer to me,” he repeated as if it was the most natural thing he could have said. “I’m warm. I don’t mind heating you up. It sure beats having to take care of you when you inevitably get sick.”

For a few seconds you neither spoke nor moved. Did he seriously just suggest that? But then the thought of finally being warm again crept up in your mind. Perhaps cuddling wouldn’t be bad - it was innocent enough, right?

Without saying a word, you moved into his arms and placed a hand on his chest, sighing when you felt his body heat radiate over your stiff and cold body, simultaneously awakening your senses and causing you to become sleepy. Chishiya wrapped his arm around you and pulled you in close as if you had done this plenty of times before.

“You smell nice” you finally commented, still warm and cosy in his arms. Sure, you had been living uncomfortably close to Chishiya for the past week, but this was the first time you truly got close enough to smell him. It was hard to explain what he smelled like. You knew it wasn’t deodorant or aftershave - he had brought back neither from his 7/11 runs - so it had to just be how he smelled.

“Good to know,” he said lowly, pausing for a second before continuing. “You smell nice too.”

Without actively intending to, Chishiya began slowly caressing your arm, tracing his fingertips gently across your cold skin and heating you up. It felt comforting so you didn’t want to point it out and risk him stopping.

“It’s been a weird week.”

He hummed and nodded in response, leaving the only sound in the tent that of heavy rain drops hitting the roof and gliding down the sleek polyester. “It has,” he finally replied.

“If you had told me a week ago that we would be cuddled up in a shitty two-man tent together, I would have laughed in your face.”

“Am I really that bad?” he asked, sounding more amused than offended.

You didn’t reply for a while, mostly because you weren’t sure what to respond. On one hand, Chishiya was a pain in the ass to deal with. He was stubborn, smug, and an annoying know-it-all. On the other hand, you weren’t sure you would have survived if you hadn’t stayed with him. 

“No,” you finally replied. “You aren’t that bad. You’re just… you.”

“I see,” he began slowly, carefully choosing his words while continuing to stroke your body with nice, gentle movements. “You’re not that bad either. If I had to be stuck with someone, I’m at least glad it’s you.”

You tilted your head upwards to meet his gaze. Despite how little moonlight that got through the material of the tent, you could still clearly make out the face you had come to know so well. With one hand still caressing your arm, his free hand began trailing up your body to your face where he cupped your cheek, pulling you in close to him until your lips met.

Although the kiss was firm, you could also feel that Chishiya was giving you a chance to back away. For a short moment you considered this possibility: you knew that your entire dynamic very well could be changed if you did this. It could potentially put both of you in danger in the future if you actually got attached. Despite this, you decided to not back away and instead kissed him back equally as firmly, your lips moving in sync with each other.

Slowly, you felt as Chishiya’s body rolled on top of you, pressing you down against the thin and rather uncomfortable sleeping mats that covered the floor of the tent. However, at this moment you didn’t care, not even noticed the uncomfortability of your sleeping arrangements. All your mind was focused on were the sensation of Chishiya’s lips and tongue, and the calming way at which his body weight was grounding you.

As his kisses got sloppier and his hands rougher in their movements around your body, you for the first time felt emotions from Chishiya that weren't just smugness or stoicism. He seemed almost desperate for you as his lips left yours to traverse down your neck, the sound of his heavy breathing filling up the confined space of the tent.

His lips left your neck as he sat up in between your legs and admired the view in front of him. Your hair was spread out wildly behind you, covering the mat; your lips apart and gasping for air; and your chest heaving up and down. Chishiya didn’t look for long before he got to work on undressing you, helping you pull your shirt over your head.

Due to the rather cramped conditions, he had you sit up to undress your lower half, undressing himself as he waited. And there you were: naked and absolutely gorgeous. His eyes lingered on your body and although it was rather dark, he could easily make out your silhouette. You laid back down on the mat, waiting for him to climb back on top of you but he didn’t. Instead, he kept eyeing you over, studying every curve and valley of your figure.

“I don’t have all night,” you joked, using humour to deflect how shy his gaze was making you feel.

Chishiya chuckled, realising that what he was doing was taking longer than he intended to.

“Bear with me,” he said with an obvious smile audible in his tone. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen a woman like this.”

“It’s too dark to see me well anyway,” you smiled and wiggled your body a bit to invite him closer. “Don’t leave me hanging, it’s cold laying alone like this.”

Chishiya sharply exhaled air out of his nose at the joke, and gave into your wish. He climbed back on top of you, making you share your combined body heat. His lips began exploring your cheek, jaw, neck, and collarbone before he tried moving further down south. However, he was quickly stopped by the lack of space. After a moment of silence where he tried to change his position around, he finally spoke confidently while laying down beside you.

“Sit on my face.”

“I’m sorry?” you asked, shocked by how forward he was being.

“You heard me. Sit on my face.”

After the initial surprise had simmered down, you decided to follow his rather abrupt demand, sitting back up and straddling Chishiya. Slowly, as if you were unsure if this was the right move, you shimmied your body forwards towards his face, hovering your needy centre just above him.

“Sit.” he commanded while hooking both arms around your thighs and putting pressure on them to push you down towards him.

“I don’t want to suffocate you.”

Chishiya chuckled and tried to pull you down towards his face again. “If that’s how I go, then I won’t complain. It beats dying in the games.”

Deciding that Chishiya was serious about this, you obliged, lowering your body to immediately get met by the overwhelming situation of Chishiya wildly licking up and down your wet folds, slurping in the juices your core so politely offered him.

“Fuck, too much,” you mewled, attempting to stand back up again but being held down by Chishiya’s strong arms while he continued to relentlessly lick up wetness.

You closed your eyes to focus on the pleasure aspect while trying to ignore just how overstimulating Chishiya’s quick tongue swirls were. It didn’t seem as if he had any intention of stopping anytime soon, so you instead allowed yourself to melt into his mouth. Relaxing helped, turning the repeated overstimulation into welcomed pleasure, and causing your mewls to turn into moans.

Chishiya’s grip around your thighs relaxed and instead of drilling his fingertips into your flesh, he caressed your skin up and down, only adding another dimension to the wonderful sensation of his body on yours. Too into the way his tongue so precisely seemed to know exactly how to move, you didn’t notice when Chishiya’s left hand abandoned your thigh to stroke himself until you heard him grunt into your cunt.

The combination of his tongue’s precise movements and the vibration produced by Chishiya’s own groans eventually sent you over the edge, making your thighs clamp hard around Chishiya’s face as you came undone on his tongue. Currently having no other options as he was stuck between your thighs, Chishiya slurped up your arousal, gladly accepting every drop your body offered him.

Once your high was over, you let go of Chishiya’s face and fell to the side to lay down beside him on the thin mat, your chest heaving up and down dramatically as you tried to catch your breath. While licking his lips clean, Chishiya sat up to climb on top of you, smashing his lips onto yours so you could taste yourself.

“You okay?” he whispered in between kisses, waiting for you to nod before he lined himself up at your entrance.

Chishiya didn’t waste longer than he had to, sinking himself into you once you had let him know that you were ready. You felt a mix of pleasure and pain as he stretched your core to its limit, slowly pushing his entirety into you until his tip leaky hit your cervix, gently kissing it as he paused there to let you get used to him.

The slightly burning feeling of Chishiya’s hard dick stretching you out soon enough got replaced with ecstasy as he rhythmically began thrusting in and out of you. First it was slow, but he soon quickened the pace, making you burrow your nails deep into his back as your mind got clouded by the pleasure he provided.

The thrusts, which had been so careful to begin with, quickly gained strength as he repeatedly pounded against your cervix, causing you to hiss and moan alternately. Despite the pain, you didn’t want to ask him to stop - instead you enjoyed the thought that you would be able to feel the aftereffects of this moment for hours to come.

Just as you felt like you had gotten into a good rhythm, finding immense pleasure in the way Chishiya’s hardness was continuously hitting against your sensitive walls, you felt as his movements became less regular and more shaky.

“Fuck,” he grunted into your ear, trying his best to keep up the losing battle. “I’m gonna… fuck.”

With one final groan, Chishiya’s hips stuttered as he buried his length deep inside of you to empty himself. It felt warm and nice, and although you knew that that meant it was all over, you weren’t upset. Instead, you gently caressed his back, trying to let him peacefully ride out his high. Eventually, he rolled off of you, lying beside you while trying to catch his breath.

“Sorry,” he mumbled out of breath. “It’s been a while.”

“It’s fine,” you quickly said with a reassuring smile. “It was a good. Don’t worry.”

Chishiya pulled you in close to him, wrapping an arm around you and letting you rest up against his chest. For a while, the only sound in the tent was that of heavy rain drops hitting against the roof and your slowly easing breathing.

“You know,” you began with a tired smile. “You owe me a better experience now. Looks like we would have to do this again.”

Thankfully, Chishiya chuckled, and you felt him nod his head.

“We need to sleep,” he whispered into your ear. “We’re taking on a face card tomorrow. If we survive, we can celebrate. I promise.”

#aib chishiya #chishiya smut #chishiya alice in borderland #chishiya shuntaro #chishiya x reader #shuntaro chishiya #aib #alice in borderland #chishiya x you #smut #chishiya #alice in borderland chishiya shuntaro #alice in borderland smut #alice in borderland chishiya #alice in boderland x reader

[maxwell-grant]

Any thoughts on AKI in SF6?

I haven't had a chance to play the game yet and I might do a more thorough look into the newcomers after I do sit through World Tour, but yeah I got some AKI thoughts. Holy shit what a design. Top 15-20 in the series, it is one hell of a different thing to watch it animated by the character's personality and moveset and vibe. We expected some FANG-isms, some Juri-isms, but certainly not that. We expected a cold, even generic assassin, not someone who merrily treats the penal code like a list of chores.

It was pretty funny seeing the reaction to her develop from "oh she's FANG's apprentice, okay I guess, not sure anyone was asking for that", to "is she the new Juri, she's got a really similar vibe", to "holy shit Juri's got NOTHING on her". In reaction to her popularity, SF6 had been doing a lot of great character work on Juri that, while making her much more developed and entertaining as a character (cringe failgirl Juri was such a revelation) and dramatically more interesting as a person, also really limits the extent to which she can be a straight-up villain anymore. Much like how FANG was designed to fill the void left by Sagat, AKI here crashed the scene to fill the void left by Juri, and so she gets to be not just completely 100% horrible (where as Juri is like, 70-80% horrible), but also SCARY in a way Juri never could be. She gets so, so much out of not being designed for sex appeal and coolness first and foremost, she's like the D'Vorah to Juri's Mileena.

She's a horrible, predatory character, and much like Marisa, I don't think she would have been allowed at all to exist the way she does had she debuted prior (you just know they would have not given her those sick ass pants or given her a different haircut or a cleavage window or something stupid like that). The development team for V repeteadly stated that there were ideas for a new assassin apprentice character related to Gen thrown around and that some of those made their way into FANG and Seth, and AKI is the end result of that very long refinement process. She's the resident freakshow character in the tradition started by Blanka and Dhalsim, and she's the outrageous over-the-top counterpoint to the more traditional martial arts like Chun-Li or even Jamie (much like Adon, or Necro). She's the understudy of the kung fu assassin villain, and in a way akin to Menat she's the young new apprentice of a prior character who acts as a stand-in for that character on the roster and driven to prove her worth before said character, while also being a modern do-over of said character.

(And for the record I actually like FANG quite a bit, a lot more than most of the other V characters. He played like garbage and his execution was lacking and couldn't make up for a terrible first impression in the fanbase, but the design and character and concept I thought were very solid and I'm glad AKI shows they didn't give up on it but took steps to improve on it, I'm glad to see him again in 6).

She breaks new ground for the series by leaning strongly into a horror wraith vibe no other character had before, and she's the Street Fighter equivalent to characters like Voldo, a horrible contortionist slasher villain who doesn't fight you so much as she just passionately and exquisitely butchers you while getting off on it. Her moves are incredible, superbly characterized, she feels vicious and oppressive to watch but still hits that note on FANG's where the playstyle is meant to be tricky but overspecialized and beatable at close range. And while she's designed to be a much more explicitly serious and deadly-looking character than FANG, they even give her goofy little flourishes like blowing bubbles shaped like FANG (and getting pissed if you pop them), his propensity for bird-like arms flapping, and an uncharacteristically childish victory dance akin to Chun-Li's.

She is as cadaverous as Juri is tempestuous, openly referring to herself as a ghost, and when she isn't losing her shit in contorting fits of laughter over success, she has a remarkably chill, upbeat disposition when spouting horrible things to the protagonist or fake poisoning them for laughs. She has an incredibly distinct personality more so than any especially developed inner life, and that's kinda the point: that she has wholly and completely sublimated herself to her role as FANG's tool, by choice and intent of her own, and that's part of why she's a real deal villain.

She was raised by him, she likes what he likes, she is obsessed with everything he is and has done and will do, hates everyone that isn't him, considers him her master and teacher and father and husband all in one, and her romantic fixation and love for him is meant to be deeply disturbing in every way imaginable (and only not a total dealbreaker for me because FANG in no way reciprocates or encourages it or is able to do so, even AKI understands as much), and that they may eventually have to kill each other doesn't deter her one bit.

Despite those surface similarities, there is quite a lot that sets AKI apart from Juri, chief of those being that Juri was victimized by Shadaloo and in response fashioned herself into an instrument of vengeance and turned monstrous as a result, where as AKI actively chose her life and chose being molded by someone else, running away from home and following FANG every step of the way without any regret. Even FANG himself had little choice in his own life, kidnapped as a child and forced to partake in horrible training under which every day could be his last, raised to value nothing but survival at all costs.

Perhaps this in itself is the strength that FANG saw in AKI, that she gets to choose and does so with far greater intent than even himself. That she's someone who could fully understand the horribleness of the Nguuhao methods and lifestyle and want for that and nothing else, to consciously partake in such grueling torture of mind and body and lovingly decide that she can't get enough of it.

And in itself this pairs interestingly with the very idea of giving FANG a dedicated protege sidekick, a character beat that the series has come back to again and again, and takes on an entirely different tone here. I think a lot of what makes AKI's obsession interesting to me in a way these usually aren't, is not just because it's creepy, but because it's ultimately sad and pathetic, and parallels FANG's own craven worship of Bison. It's such a great dynamic, a miserable cycle perpetuated by miserable people caught on the wrong side of that glorification of self-improvement, inner strength and the great heroes and masters who can pass it onto others that the series uses so frequently, and it makes AKI even greater as a character for it: because now we have a true dark mirror for the driving motivation of many of our characters. We have our fucked-up toxic counterpart to every Sakura, Mika, Menat, and Sean out there.

She sees him as he saw Bison and more, and the fact that she is much more threatening and overtly competent and scary than FANG is offset by the fact that worshipping Bison is a wholly different thing than worshipping, y'know, FANG. We comprehend, on some level, FANG's worship, because M.Bison is supposed to be, at minimum, a cool imposing megavillain we're meant to like on some level, which is certainly not true for FANG. SF6 has been very clear on that, that even though he's been given a much slicker outfit, and is keeping a low profile to plot from behind the scenes, this is still very much FANG, every bit the conniving, petty control freak from before.

AKI is a cool, hypercompetent death machine able to scare the pants off the main villain, and she labors desperately day and night, to the point of crying if she fails, to meet the approval of a ridiculous, pathetic man who, no matter how deceptively cunning or dangerous he may be, is only cool to her. Much of why I think FANG worked and was necessary in the first place was because he was designed around the vacuum left by the Four Kings and to contrast them, as what kind of man would it take to work himself ragged running Bison's schemes and being unfailingly loyal to him and Shadaloo, opposite Vega and Balrog's sporadic barely-there alliances and Sagat's outright betrayal. We needed an anti-Sagat, a proper bastard of a Number 2 to run the show in secret. And AKI adds a lot of poignancy to that in that she is much of what FANG can't be, even as she wants nothing more than to be like him.

It's one thing to have somebody who really looks up to and makes an effort to imitate the cool and impressive and heroic World Warriors, or someone influenced by imposing villains like Balrog or Sagat but ultimately decides to carve their own path. It's another thing entirely for maybe THE most obsessive protege character in the series, someone who actively has no identity outside of servitude to her master, to revolve around FANG, the dastardly bird man, who made his debut in a story by hunting down and melting an innocent woman, and grossly and animastically licking her ashen remains off his fingers. What kind of person would decide that this sickening, vile creep is deserving of worship and following until the ends of the Earth?

(art by @remy2fang)

Well, maybe the same kind of person who would consciously look at the likes of M.Bison in the first place, someone they intuitively understand "will reign death on all living beings", and upends their life on the spot towards becoming that man's eternal servant. Someone who seeks self-fulfillment through no other means than the pursuit of strength and knowledge as tools to subjugate others and appease their master. The darkest corruption of the master-student dynamic that defines so much of the series. You couldn't ask for anything more fitting, for the poison specialists.

#replies tag #street fighter #fighting games #capcom #a.k.i. #f.a.n.g #aki street fighter #aki sf6 #fang #sf6 #street fighter 6

[sir-yeehaw-paws]

When the kids come back, I'll talk it out with them. If that's still possible.

*Whether or not this conversation took place we don't know but what I DO know is I LOVE how Kaz is written as a character. As deeply flawed, warped and messed up as he is.

Oh look another Kaz meta from Nate be shocked and awed *cough*.

Which honestly, is why I like his character so much. Kaz had to be built up in reverse, and the story and writing around him is SO good. Because he is such a deeply, horribly flawed person with insane ideology and a tattered moral code. As grey as the rest of them.

This tape is one of those bits where Kaz says a whole lot, and gets so close to a point, but doesn't quite hit it. It comes around to a theme of justification: "Yeah. That's it alright. I wanted to use those kids, to test that theory." But to the kids or to himself. I'd argue it might be both. Because Kaz is aware of his own flaws, and the kind of person he is. He is utterly ruthless and unashamed of that fact. Kaz will bring down nations, people-anything it takes, to get what he wants.

And in a way, he absolutely does. We know that from the canon events of other games. But he's not ignorant of himself, even if he searches for excuses. "I hate kids. That's exactly what I heard from the people who raised me."

Kaz never fully comes around to admitting that he's been angry and full of spite his entire life, but it's evident with how he talks. He's roundabout with it-as he is almost everything he says. But it's obvious what he's getting at. The things he says. He tries, desperately, to find a reason for his actions. But those reasons never 100% come to the point where he admits he might be part of the issue here.

This a completely valid point. But then of course, as nature is wont to do; he grew up. Everyone comes to the point in life where their opinions, thoughts, feelings etc are disregarded. Then suddenly BAM you're an adult, and people listen to you. And you don't know why.

But in conjunction with that, eventually we all reach a point in life where it doesn't matter how rough or terrible childhood was, we have to move on. We have to accept that it happened, we can't make it better, and there's only so long we can lean on 'rough past' as a reason. Eventually you have to move on-otherwise you get nowhere.

But Kaz never fully moves on. He comes close. He has moments within MGSV itself, but what happens after MGSV? He joins Foxhound in the mid 90's, trains up Snake-and has him kill Big Boss. That is the exact opposite of moving on. Even if he ends up understanding Venom at certain points. Even if he manages to admit at times, 'revenge solves nothing' him admitting it doesn't change how his life pans out.

He stays angry.

He stays hurt.

We don't know what kind of mindset he has upon his death in 2005, but his flaws are never rectified. His entire life is a tragic, uphill stream of doing it, failing, doing it again, failing. And dying alone in an Alaskan cabin. Because MGS is a cyclical form of storytelling, and the cycles always continue.

Ironically, Kaz does in his own way create a legacy. His own legacy of bloodshed and terror. The war economy, for-profit PMC's. A dictatorship where the leadership is cross-border, hell beyond borders.

Which, given how he talks and behaves in life, is what he wanted. And it doesn't matter one bit in the end. It gives him, personally, nothing. Unless some unmarked Alaskan grave counts as 'something'. You tell me.

Until they're broken-by force, by Snake, Otacon and Sunny.

*As a quick aside, I ADORE how RAD acts Kaz out.

#mgs #mgsv #character posts: kazuhira miller #thoughts posts #headcanons #I LOVE THIS TERRIBLE DUDE SO MUCH OKAY #i ended up cutting the video off too early btw sorry about that

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Why do you like Skyward Sword? What do you love about it? (I just came back to it after a long time and am obsessed.)

AH there are SO many reasons I like Skyward Sword!

The aesthetic! This is such a cute game, and the pastels are so pleasant to the eye. It makes the world so magical too, like botw is breathtakingly beautiful but skyward sword is like going to a real fantasy land. Kind of adds to the whole idea that this game is so far in the past it's in mythology era too, which makes it extra fun!

Speaking of which, the lore! Like, I know some people might not like the Hylia addition but let's be real, Nintendo destroys their own lore with every new game, so I just really liked this one lol. The idea that this game is so far back in the past that it's the original Hero, the original Zelda, it's such a fascinating and fun thing! This isn't just another iteration of the pair, this is the pair. It makes it fitting that they're the Zelink couple that I adore too haha.

With it being so far back in the past, it makes the magic feel so much more alive! The goddess is within reach, the dragons talk, everything feels so alive. You know how in stories it's always like "time passes and people grow distant from the magic and can no longer hear it/experience it" and that kind of feels like the rest of the Zelda games - like there's obviously still magic and beauty in all the games, but it never quite feels as... idk, fantastical as Skyward Sword's world does. Part of that is probably also because it's from Link's POV and this is all new to him

Which is another fun thing! All the other Zelda games, Link lives in an established world. Here, Link's exploring one that's been untouched since the entire world was nearly destroyed in a devastating war and nearly everyone had died. Like it's kind of akin to botw (I remember reading somewhere that botw was designed to be like a really improved skyward sword, like sksw paved the way for it) in that regard, but Link's in a foreign land and knows nothing about it. Rather like OoT Link, but there's very little established here, you know? There's no kingdom, you run into one (1) settlement with the mogmas and that's it. The rest is ruins and wilderness.

The characters! My gosh, they're so fun! Link is the most expressive here, he's absolutely delightful and I adore his personality (the only Link who comes close to being my favorite aside from Sky is Twilight). Groose is fantastic and rightfully a fan favorite. Zelda's a freaking knight! And she has her own journey! And she's got a fantastic personality, and her story is so interesting! Ghirahim is hilarious and a fun recurring villain! Even Impa is fairly interesting as a character. Fi certainly isn't my favorite companion but she isn't terrible, and it's quite fun learning about her lore and watching her develop.

LOFTWINGS. That is all.

LIVING IN THE SKY. Their settlement is so different from anything else in any other game and I love it. Also a nice little thing because like so many Zelda games herald an ancient race coming from the skies, and it differs between the games but the fact that this time it was the Hylians is really neat and solidifies the whole "this takes place before literally everything else" idea.

The music! I love the music so much, they're all bangers. Fi's theme, especially Follow Fi, is absolutely magical, Groose's them is bombastic and fun, freaking Koloktos theme, the Ancient Cistern!! The Sand Sea!!!

SILENT REALMS MY BELOVED. Everybody else hates them, I freaking adore them, they're my favorite part of the game. I love the challenge of them and the music for them absolutely took my breath away.

The sword mechanics! I know with bad programming/buggy controllers it can be a pain, but it's so fun being able to swing Link's sword around with such control, whether it's motion control or joystick. Like, it's not just hitting a button, you gotta wait and watch and observe to figure out how you're going to attack, and it makes it pretty fun!

#you ask skye answers #lovely unexpectedstormy #skyward sword #skyward sword is awesome #my favorite game <3 #I wish some things about it were better/different but this is definitely what I love about it #the silmarillion of loz <3 #skye time travels through the queue

[sundered-souls]

Inge Sjasaris

B A S I C S

Name: Inge Sjasaris (pre-EW), Inge Grymkoelwyn (post-EW, as she took her wife's last name to finally conform with her people's way... and give the middle finger to her in-laws who didn't think her good enough for their precious daughter while she was at it lmao)

Nicknames: none

Age: Early sixties

Nameday: 5th Sun of the 2nd Umbral Moon

Race: Viera

Gender: Loaded question given that I've never bothered posting about her tribe, but long story short: she's fine with being called a woman. In our modern western ways, she'd be more akin to genderqueer. In her people's way, it's hard to translate so she never bothers. Honestly any pronoun is technically fine by her, it'll never be completely right anyway.

Orientation: Whatever, but more female leaning overall.

Profession: Mercenary, alchemist

P H Y S I C A L     A S P E C  T S

Hair: I've yet to find a satisfying mod for what I have in mind but curly and mid-long, black, badly cut 'cause she tends to do it herself whenever the length annoys her too much. Rarely tied though, she doesn't like the feeling (hence the terrible haircuts)

Eyes: Grey

Skin: Dark brown, with some freckles

Tattoos/scars: A tattoo left by Louisoix's spell between her shoulder blades. Many scars scattered on her body, most faded though and none too remarkable.

F A M I L Y

Parents: Both alive, never named them x)

Siblings: Two unnamed sisters and one brother, which she doesn't know is a brother because she left before he hit puberty. He's called Solrunn and is played by @inah-ffxiv (who also plays her wife)

Grandparents: I didn't flesh out the family tree so far so.... no idea

In-laws and Other: She's married to Yersinia Bordetella, which isn't her real name if you wonder after reading Inge's family name above x) Yersi doesn't get along with her family, who's quite rich and posh, and they never approved of her choice of partner. Not that any of them care. Also in a relationship with Y'shtola.

Pets: None

S K I L L S

Abilities: The notable ones would be magic enhancing/debuffing (and healing but if you don't get hit, it's even better), war surgery, alchemy (mostly potions), botany and bow hunting. She can hear the Elementals too

Hobbies: Reading smut and romance. That's about it, she loves her job as an adventurer and doesn't take much time off.

T R A I T S

Most Positive Trait: Steadfast and kind

Most Negative Trait: emotionally constipated and prone to reproach people their recklessness before doing the exact same fucking thing five minutes later (But it's different because she knows what she's doing™)

L I K E S

Colors: she loves bright colors in general but mostly wears neutral/earthly colors herself (as to not make a target of herself). Doesn't have a clear favorite

Smells: damp soil, forests, quite a lot alchemical agents, tea, campfires

Textures: Leather, smooth polished wood, soft wool

Drinks: Tea, tea and more tea

O T H E R    D E T A I L S

Smokes: Recreationally. Did you know the Twelve will approve of your union even if you're too high to remember the entire day? Should you get lucky enough to meet them, they'll even mention it /shudders

Drinks: Tea and water. Occasionally maybe some fruit juice. Never any alcohol, it makes her sick

Drugs: Nothing other than what I mentioned above

Mount Issuance: Inge's actually in the Twin Adder and got her chocobo through them. The bird doesn't have an actual name, she whistles to call it/give it orders and mostly uses it as a beast of burden rather than a mount. Her yol is in the care of the Mols. She didn't want to take it away from its natural environment, but she visits sometimes.

Been Arrested: Never. To say that she's always a law-abiding citizen might be pushing it though...

Tagged by: @lilbittymonster (ty!) Tagging @inah-ffxiv @adrayellinaeth @archaiclumina @hakai-zonapher @feathersage @wpip-raham @the-crimson-rose @sharlayanscion @ooc-miqojak (so you can pick which character you want to do it with) @punchelf @chadhunkler @clockworkdimensions @gatheredfates @corsair-kovacs @heavensw4rd

I went through my followers list and I have more characters so feel free to ignore if you're not interested and I'll tag more people when I do it with the rest of the cast!

#OC: Inge #thank you again o/

[brooooswriting]

if you could write natasha x super soldier!reader. natasha just absolutely smitten with reader. loves her abs and muscles and just gets shy and stuff when reader flirts with her or does something to show off her muscles and stuff example carrying something super heavy like it weighs nothing 😄 maybe reader is working on a car or something and nat sees her and just some teasing and flirting with them getting together in the end

Super super soldier

You yourself didn’t even quite know how you ended up here, at the avengers as a super soldier. It was crazy and it seemed like HYDRA took part in it, but you didn’t know.

You were a normal girl from New York, sporty and smart but still trying to survive college. Until one night someone seemed to kidnap you and the next morning you woke up in the avengers tower. To say you were confused was a big understatement. They explained to you that they were rescuing experiments from a HYDRA base where they also found you and that it seems like they gave you the same powers as Steve Rogers.

You didn’t wanna believe it until you got frustrated and hit a table causing it to break. So there you were between heroes as someone who didn’t even know themself before this and now you had to start from zero.

And while you were happy that they rescued you so fast it did make things harder. You didn’t have terrible memories like Wanda, Pietro and all the other enhanced individuals, so often you just stood at the side and listened to them.

But it did have a good thing, your game was even more up than before. Nearly all the girls wanted you which was, not gonna lie, pretty cool until you got close to Romanoff. Damn Romanoff. You might think being able to have every women is cool, but that’s only until you realize that there’s only one woman you want.

But lucky enough your charm also kinda worked on her. You didn’t quite notice but it did. People always said you had “game” which confused you as your only “game” was being nice and worshiping the other person.

“We need someone to seduce him” Tony said in one of the meetings. “What about Nat? She’s beautiful, has a nice character and is a great spy. There’s nothing that could go wrong right?” You said looking around the group seeing everybody nod and a bright red Natasha. “Thank you y/n” she mumbled and you gave her a quick nod.

When the meeting was over you made your way to the trainings room only to be stopped by Natasha. “Y/n, thank you for saying what you said in there, you know…. Not only seeing my body” she mumbled the last part but due to your super-hearing you heard it anyways. “Well, sweetheart, it’s just the truth. You’re great and I’m sorry that all the males just see a beautiful face instead of the intelligent and nice personality” you told her laying one of your hands on her waist. You giggled when you saw her turn red and hugged her before making your way into the training room.

——————————————————————————

Natasha was more than happy when everybody agreed on Yelena moving into the compound but what she wasn’t happy about at all was the moving. There was nothing she hated more than carrying boxes upstairs but luckily for her you were never far.

“Romanoff, need help?” You called through the hall pausing your interaction with some shield agent who was clearly checking you out. “If you don’t mind” she said nearly letting the box fall so you jogged over and took it from her. “Why don’t you just accompany me while I carry the boxes huh?” You said and she nodded.

Tony and Sam were fascinated. The agent you just talked to was ‘incredibly hot’ and you didn’t even say goodbye or anything as you went to Natasha.

While they discussed about how someone could be so in love Nat was busy starring at your arms while you carried the boxes. You only wore a top so the spy could see your flexed mussels even better. After about 10 heavy boxes you finally met Yelena. “Omg, sestra. Is this the girl you always talk about? No wonder you like her, she’s hot” Yelena said before even greeting you causing you to giggle. “I’m y/n, it’s nice to meet you” you told her extending your hand. After shaking hands you noticed that the redhead left the room without you noticing.

As you were about to search for her Steve found you. “Y/l/n, so you think you could take a look at my car? I need it for my mission in two hours and it won’t turn on” he requested as you used to be a mechanic. “Uhm, sure. I’ll take a look” you decided to look for Nat after repairing Steve’s car.

You worked on Steve’s car for over an hour when you pulled off your top revealing your sports bra before rolling under the car again.

“Y/n?” You heard Romanoff say and you rolled out underneath the car. “Nat, hey, I wanted to look for you as you just disappeared, but then Steve found me and wanted me to repair his car asap. But before we talk can you maybe help me with something? I need a second pair of hands” you rambled getting even more nervous when you saw the redhead only stare at your abs and arms.

She came closer and you showed her what she had to do before standing behind her to do your thing as you had to work on something that was close to where she had to work. Your warm body was pressed against hers, your arms around her and she could feel your breath on the side of her neck. When you finished what you were doing you wrapped your arms around her waist pressing yourself even further into her.

The redhead slowly turned in your arms until you were face to face causing both of your breaths to hitch. “Why do you have to be so cute?” You asked her which made her giggle. “Romanoff” you called out and she hummed. “I’m in love with you” you finally admired. It felt better than anything else, ever. You finally felt free, if she didn’t like you then you could at least move on and if she did like you then it was finally your time.

But the silence made you regret your choice. “I-I am sorry, shouldn’t have said that” you unwrapped your arms from around her and were about to turn when her hand grabbed your upper arm to pull you back. When you turned around you saw her gaze fixed on your arm mussel before she snapped out of it. “I’m sorry, I just had to realize what you just said. I’m in love with you too, love” grabbing her waist you pulled her into a hug.

“You know that I won’t stop flirting with you right?” You asked her that night when you sat on the couch cuddled up closely. “I hope so. But I will kill everyone who looks at you, you know that right?” She grinned and you nodded. “Of course I know”

So, I had a lot to do lately but I hope this is okay

#reader insert #marvel #marvel x you #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #brooooswriting #natasha romanoff x you #marvel x reader

[tossawary]

Needing something to play in the background during the day, I have started watching Transformers G1 and have now finished the first season. It is very funny to visit the original after getting most of my information through Fandom Osmosis and passing acquaintanceship with more recent Transformers media. I decided to start at the beginning (terrible decision, I know, I will not be changing it) because I have like 40+ hours per week that need background sound and I like studying adaptational choices over time, so I intend to progress through a bunch of Transformers shows in chronological order.

It's kind of like Star Trek: TOS (Star Trek is better) in that I find parts of it very charming, there are plenty of aspects that are even compelling in their potential, but it's also... bad. A lot of it is Very Bad, sometimes in a very funny way and sometimes in a way that is just Not Good and even Problematic. I cannot possibly recommend it.

The animation quality is understandably very low due to the context of its creation (television show from the 80s made to sell toys). I like a few of the Cybertron background paintings, but it still takes me a second to tell a lot of the characters apart, partially because there is a revolving door for supporting characters. The writing quality is even worse. The physics is all over the place. The powers and abilities are completely arbitrary. None of the science works. No one can decide what body parts the Cybertronians actually have. There is way more mind control in this show than I ever expected there to be. This is apparently an alternate universe where the Earth has various types of energy crystals. The Idiot Ball trope is flying all over the place like dodgeballs and the characters are repeatedly hitting themselves with it constantly. Some of the accents are quite silly, yeah, but it still doesn't justify how some people type them out in fanfiction.

And yet I am still mildly entertained, probably because I am already partial to both animation and space opera with robots. And I recognize enough of the characters to find these early versions of them very funny. And some parts of this extended toy commercial were very clearly Done With Love.

Megatron and Starscream are like two halves of a whole idiot. The Decepticons are incapable of not betraying each other for more than a few episodes. Except for Soundwave, who is the MVP of the Decepticons, and yet also does nothing to stop any of the drama. Both sides can just Make New Guys at any time apparently and the Dinobots should unionize. I think Optimus Prime essentially "ok boomer"ed Megatron in the second episode and it was justified. I can't believe that Shockwave didn't just straight up stage a coup or otherwise move on in 4 million years, like, man, DUMP HIS ASS already. Bumblebee has apparently always been Very Smol and Just A Little Guy. Because this is a kids show, all these giant robots are constantly calling the Mortal Enemies They Want Dead "dweebs" and "nerds" and "twerps" and it's Very Funny. And I'm just going to assume that Sparkplug is a nickname and not an adult human man's legal name.

Also, I know the reason that the human kids are in the show is so that the show can go, "Look! This could be you! Being friends with all your favorite giant robots!" But it very much comes off as the Autobots having no real context for Spike's age or squishiness, probably because their own newborns are already able to fight. And Carly's introduction involving renting scuba gear and breaking into the Decepticon base makes her look (and I mean this with bewildered affection) fucking nuts, girl.

#tossawary transformers #tf g1 #optimus prime #megatron #starscream #soundwave #bumblebee #carly witwicky #shockwave #grimlock #spike witwicky

[scarletmaster143]

Okay here we go

The Barbie Movie 2023: a transcendental experience

I would like to preface this by admitting that I cried essentially throughout the entire movie. I was crying in the first twenty minutes when Barbie entered the Real World and found that it was the complete opposite of BarbieLand. Several other people have made this comparison but the scene where Barbie gets catcalled and harassed on the street, where she feels too conscious about everything (the tea scene with Ruth especially) is so vital because that is how every young girl I have met has felt when they begin puberty. Ken, of course exemplifies the masculine perception, the confidence and esteem that comes with realising that "Men rule the world". The way he is not a bad character but the draw of power is so strong even for someone as "accessory" as a Ken doll and so he goes along with the patriarchal system. Barbie feeling utterly lost after learning that she has not been in fact empowering women as she had thought, rather she was a "fascist". My take is that the criticism against Barbie is valid in that there is little diversity among the dolls and yes there are certain things that can be improved upon. However it is parallel-y true that Barbie can be ANYTHING. Especially in a world where success and happiness have come to be defined by such limited criteria Barbie rightly points out that most girls are ordinary, they are not scientists or presidents or nobel prize winners, however that does not mean they are unworthy of consideration, of respect and of care.

I am unsure what is the broad internet verdict on Barbie but I do believe that the movie encapsulates a very specific feminist experience where it's not that men are at fault for everything, Ken does ultimately admit, along with the directors of Mattel, that he does not want to be in power all the time. However, Gerwig refuses to dictate how men should behave, they will have to go to the Real World themselves and figure it out. Barbie however gets to learn that just saying "I don't want anything to change" does not stop things from changing. As someone who uses the exact same phrase several times, it hit me hard when, despite her best efforts, things kept changing. The loss of control and increasing uncertainty that adulthood brings is enough to make anyone into a Depression Barbie (complete with BBC Pride and Prejudice) but Gerwig also says that just because things are changing does not mean that we are simply helpless. We have people around us, mothers and grandmothers and daughters and Weird Barbies, who are there to support us. America Ferrara's rant about how women can never be perfect or likeable is a cinematic masterpiece- it reflects the constant discourse around what it means to be a modern woman and ultimately puts forward that women can be "anything", they don't need to be only perfect- if nothing they do is perfect then there is no need to desire perfection, they can remain as they are. Sasha was a surprisingly heartwarming character, I was fully expecting her to be annoying. All the Kens were hilarious, of course, the little Sex Education cast reunion was adorable. The style of the movie may not suit everyone's taste, it is loud, over the top and camp as fuck, everything is a reference, the fourth wall is essentially non-existent. But at its core the Barbie Movie is a lesson in growing up- it is a tale of someone who has to find herself and accept herself before becoming a human. Interestingly, Barbie reflects adolescence quite literally (I was half expecting Gerwig to put in a menstruating reference, but it makes sense that she didn't, considering the no-vagina thing) and the last scene where she asks to see her gynecologist is not only symbolic of her becoming a human but also of her becoming a woman. She is a doll in the beginning like pre-adolescent girls are often called but then she goes through terrible things where she is not fully doll, but not fully human, and lastly when she has become human, shedding her doll part. Adolescent girls are rarely allowed to be anything other than perfect "dolls" even when they are having the most terrible period of their lives and Barbie's constant desire to make things return to as they were shows how she also wants to remain a doll, but once she accepts that things need to change she starts shedding her doll nature and starts becoming human. This is still a sad process but now Barbie knows (thanks to Ruth) that no matter what she will be okay as a human.

In conclusion Barbie is not a movie that is of the feminist genre, at least not to me, rather it is a coming of age story for some of the most iconic characters in pop culture.

#barbie #barbie movie #margot robbie #america ferrera #ryan gosling #simu liu #writing #desi academia #also yes my friends and I dressed up as the dreamhouse characters #i was chelsea #spoilers #barbie spoilers

[vanhelsingapologist]

//scuttles in

Hey you should totally talk about Kasimir

Kasimir And The Terrible Horrible No-Good Very Bad 400 Years

CW: Sororicide, Child Death, discussion of mental health, discussion on the nature of shame.

This is going to be so, so long. Disclaimer that this is our table's interpretation of Kasimir Velikov. Spoilers for Curse of Strahd and the Dusk Elves abound.

Guilty, Not Remorseful

Kasimir is one of those characters who seems to be very consistent in characterization across tables. I do believe that if you asked DMs to list their Kasimir’s traits, a majority would hit the Trifecta of Misery:

Guilty

Sad

Desperate.

A massive part of our Kasimir’s characterization is how my DM draws the line between regret, guilt, and remorse.

He feels fathomless guilt surrounding killing Patrina, but he never describes himself as feeling remorse. To explain, I’ll divide it like this:

He feels guilty because he knew it would have a repercussion. He did it anyway. Patrina was engaged to Strahd.

He did not expect the repercussions to be all that they were. This was a mistake, but I don’t entirely know whether he sees his decision surrounding killing Patrina as one or not.

He does not feel remorse, because that would require him to regret what he did (killing his sister). Our Kasimir does not feel remorse for killing her, and it makes him guiltier because of everything her death set off, not to mention the love he held for his sister.

He tells himself that he did what he had to do (he did not), and wishes there were another way (there undoubtedly was), which gives way to shame. 

"I had to do it, but I wish I didn't." "... Did I have to? Surely, yes?"

So, he has these interplaying themes connected to the overarching theme of guilt, all of which drive his every action in our campaign. 

He is okay with this.

He is okay with the idea that every day is a punishment. He did what he had to do, he says, and he believes he should pay that price forever. 

The Whole Patrina Thing

In our game, Patrina didn’t seem to be so much in love with Strahd as she was in love with power. My running theory is that she was intending to dethrone Strahd or overpower him once she’d been turned. 

Because (I believe) in our game, he was one of the first vampires, if not The First Vampire, she didn’t quite realize how spawn mechanics worked— and to that end, neither did the dusk elves.

The Story

Kasimir holds to the story he told us. He discovered his sister half-turned, having received two of the three bites required to undergo the bride ceremony. 

I believe he discovered her in the process of trying to feed (a la Lucy Westenra) and came to the conclusion that she had been irrevocably turned into this horrifying, unknowable dead thing. So he gathered the dusk elves and killed her, setting off the chain of events. 

In the years since he’s been confronted with new information regarding vampirization and the process of turning, but he’s also said that if Patrina hadn’t died, she likely would’ve gone through with it anyway. Is this to avoid heaping more guilt onto his shoulders? Maybe. I don't know. Despite his guilt, he still, interestingly, provides a justification.

We have nothing to contradict his word with.

However, he also told us that he’s been experiencing dreams where she tells him how sorry she is, how much she hates him, how much she loves him, and how much she would have changed if he'd let her live.

His foundational beliefs get preyed upon, because what if he was wrong? What if he doomed everyone because he couldn’t compromise his morality for a moment?

Kasimir’s Backstory Is Misery In Case You Were Wondering

In our campaign, Kasimir and Patrina were raised to be the leaders of their communities and witnessed Rahadin’s exile and subsequent alliance with King Barov.

When the Dusk Elves regrouped after a crushing defeat, Kasimir, who is a Druid in our campaign, was voted in to be the head of the remaining families, and Patrina, an Archmage, left for Ravenloft intermittently. 

I think there was an effort for peace being made with a marriage between Strahd and herself, but obviously, the Tatyana Conundrum came in (Kasimir Win!), and then a couple years down the line, the Patrina Conundrum happened (Kasimir Fail!).

By the time he made his big bad decision, he was not only the head of his community but was also the father to a small child and the husband to a man who would die defending their family.

So, as far as he’s concerned, Kasimir is almost directly responsible for the deaths of his entire family.

He’s in a constant internal battle between blaming Ravenloft— perhaps predominantly, Rahadin— for enacting disproportionate revenge and blaming himself for pulling the trigger. Two things can be true. And still, to this day, his remaining people trust him. He still leads them and protects them. Yowch.

Kasimir As The Moral Compass

While traveling with our party, Kasimir was militant about doing what he believed was right. It could’ve been because he might’ve literally snapped in half if he took on any more shame, but probably had more to do with the fact that he was likely projecting heavily onto our party. 

He held his hand on the metaphorical stove for so long that he has nothing but bone left, so when he sees the party tentatively edging towards the fire, he takes action. 

Because he lives in a cesspool of anguish, I think an argument can be made that he wants to ensure his actions aren’t repeated by someone else. That is for HIM.

How It Affects Dynamic

This makes him fun to have in the party, because not only is Sororicide “Hypocrite” Velikov telling us not to do things, but it also provides a good bit of levity to what is otherwise one of the emotionally heaviest characters in our campaign.

Having this ancient elven druid sternly ask if kicking the corpse of enemy #6 made you feel good and having to shamefully tell him ’no’ creates a bond like no other.

It’s also an interesting way to have him trying to semi-atone without explicitly expressing remorse. Because he judges himself so harshly, he judges the party by the same standards.

Kasimir Will Make The Same Mistake Over And Over

The problem is that shame is poison to recovery.

Kasimir does not believe he has a place in a world in which he is not suffering, so whenever he is confronted with redemption, he’ll do what keeps him rotting.

I don’t know how my other players feel about this, but I’m convinced that it’s not that he can’t break the cycle, it’s that he won’t.

In trying to do the right thing, I think he will choose the wrong thing. He will stone her to death again and again and not know why.

There He Goes Again!

It’s why I think these dreams are such a big problem. I think they’re goading him. Whatever’s causing it (the Dark Powers, Strahd, or Patrina herself) knows him well enough that he will make a horrible, horrible decision. As far as theory goes, I think it may really be Patrina, because who would know him better than his sister?

In our campaign, Kasimir is currently acting as a mentor to a half dusk-elven wizard/druid who habitually toes the line between good and evil. He waffles between wanting to save her and wanting to nip the problem in the bud, propelled by his profound shame for wanting to do it.

He knows he shouldn’t have anything to do with it, but whereas Van Richten isolates himself out of necessity, Kasimir creates this wall between them because he sees the cycle starting again and feels helpless to stop it. It’s like he doesn’t realize he’s actively recreating the cycle.

Sound familiar, Strahd?

He and Van Richten are two characters who might have the biggest questions of the nature of redeemability hanging over their head, and both grapple with themes of guilt.

I think they differ because, in our campaign, Van Richten is actively seeking redemption. Kasimir is not.

He can’t imagine atonement even exists.

#asked and answered #this was asked by a player in my campaign #thank you for letting me yammer i've been wanting to talk about this guy for ages. even if this is free notes </3 #curse of strahd character analysis #kasimir velikov #patrina velikovna #curse of strahd spoilers #curse of strahd #We are a party who believes in love as redemption #but we’ve never met a character who so throughly rejects that concept like Kasimir (and maybe Arrigal). #the emilia and kasimir relationship makes me bleed from the eyes. stop looking for your sister in her or you will find your sister in her. #add the rahadin shit in and thatsa one spicy meatball #does kasimir believe good is inherited or cultivated? i think he BELIEVES he thinks it's cultivated. #going 2 put every old man in this module in therapy and then maybe a box #kasimir in general man...... #my DM is very very smart and we're her little rats running around screaming

[photogirl894]

I can't believe I have to do this yet again...

Stop! Making! Hunter! The villain!!

He didn't give up looking for Crosshair because "he doesn't care". He wasn't hesitant going after Crosshair because "he doesn't care".

He DOES care and that's exactly why he wanted to go back to Pabu!!

They had ONE lead on Crosshair and it failed and they have no other ways to find him, if he's even still alive (as far as they know). They were all severely injured and in mourning over Tech...what the hell else is he supposed to do?!?! He has been trying SO hard all season to protect his family and even though he was talked into taking a big risk, it cost him his brother! He is in PAIN!!

There's nothing else for them to do and the only option left is to just quit while they're ahead. He can't lose anyone else. Besides, he also said "Wrecker and I" in regards to the decision of going back to Pabu. It wasn't just his decision!! Wrecker agreed, too!!

They have NOTHING to get them to Crosshair!! They tried and they failed.

Hunter DOES care and he cared enough to try. STOP SAYING HE DOESN'T AND HE'S JUST GIVING UP ON CROSSHAIR AND THAT HE'S NOT HONORING TECH'S SACRIFICE BY WANTING TO MOVE ON!!

I know we're all hurt and mourning a terrible tragedy; believe me, I was almost inconsolable last night and I cried myself to sleep...but I am SO SICK AND TIRED of Crosshair fans or even Tech fans always trying to villainize Hunter and not actually thinking about the situations!! I'm not saying this as a "biased" Hunter fan. I'm saying this as someone who understands the situation and actually thinks about things, not just hyperfocusing on one character and hating everyone! Hunter is justified in wanting to turn away and there's nothing wrong with that!!

Maybe I'm more angry cuz my emotions are all over the place, but this has also been something that's built up all season over several instances of people trying to make Hunter the bad guy when he's literally done nothing wrong!! And I'm just done with it. I'm not saying Hunter is perfect; I'm a fan who can admit he has his flaws, but he's not this terrible person I've seen some people try to make him.

I just...I can't. I'm tired of the negativity surrounding his character from certain sides of the fandom. I'm too broken right now and this is only adding to my heartache.

And if anyone wants to come at me and speak against Hunter or call out his actions or get after anything I've said, I'm warning you right now: DO NOT. I am highly emotional and I am on the verge of snapping and I don't want to end up saying something to someone I'll regret or hurting anyone's feelings. I'm not normally like this, but this finale has devastated me more than any show ever has and I'm not okay. So do not test me right now. I'll gladly cry over the finale with anyone, but if it's anything else that's negative, I will warn you to think twice before hitting that "send" button.

I'm sorry, I'm done. I just had to get all that off my chest and that's about all I can say without getting really riled up. I love you all and I'm thinking of all of you who are hurting as well.

#star wars the bad batch #the bad batch #bad batch hunter #bad batch season 2 #bad batch season 2 spoilers #tbb spoilers

[to-mah-to27]

I truly don't know if I have to will to make this into a full fic but I can keep continuing the plot

for those of you who did not see it, I'm talking about this post au where Shun is the main character and it is the story of the Jet Black Wing

Ok so season three comes to a head when Aren finally catches Saiki in the act, but Shun isn't there and he confronts Saiki. And Saiki says "You have no idea the complexities of this problem. Just a naive kid playing hero." and Aren tries to fight him but ends up getting hit over the head and his short-term memory erased.

THEN

The beginning of season four is a replay of that confrontation but from Kusuo's point of view. And we're like whaaaat because in all three seasons prior we have never been in Kusuo's point of view before.

In season one it seemed like it would only be from Shun's point of view because he is the main character. But then after the reveal, it makes more sense that we don't see through Saiki's point of view because we aren't meant to root for him after all. And then in season three the point of view regularly shifts between Shun and Aren, further emphasizing that Saiki isn't meant to be there.

So when season four starts in Kusuo's point of view it is a big deal. And it is the same fight but from his point of view and Aren confronts him, telling him the same things he's been listening to Shun say for the past three seasons ever since he got Black Beat in his arm and he had to start following him around to make sure that he couldn't interfere with his plans. "Why are you trying to destroy the world! There are so many innocent people who don't deserve to die! What could you possibly hope to achieve?" And Kusuo responds the same as he did in the finale that Aren doesn't understand and he's just naive and wants to play hero. But even as he says it he is thinking that it isn't true because really it's -Shun_ who he believes this about. And he's been saying in his head over and over and over as he justifies that he still has to do this.

Because the world is a terrible place full of selfish, greedy people who pretend to care on the outside but will take any chance they can to use people and then backstab them. And since humanity has so clearly failed they need to be eradicated and start over from scratch.

And in all the time he has spent with Shun, he has seen all the ways the hero breaks that perception by being kind and giving and genuine in his intentions to help, expecting nothing in return. So he has been telling himself that Shun doesn't count, that he's just some naive kid who doesn't get all the evil in the world, who doesn't understand it or see it and he's only acting the way he is because of a sense of pride at being a hero.

But since Aren joined, he's had a sense of inner turmoil about this that he's been trying desperately to ignore, because Aren has those same kind, honest intentions Shun does.

Aren, who was one of the power-hungry people he employed to help him destroy the world, only for them to realize in the end that they were going to be destroyed too. Aren, who is strong and perceptive and who readily knows about the ill intentions of many of the people they meet. He isn't naive. He isn't even trying to be a hero. He just wants to help Shun, whose forgiveness gave him a new chance at life.

Then he erased Aren seeing him use his powers to sabotage Shun and for the rest of season four every once in a while there will be an episode from Kusuo's perspective, showcasing his inner conflict about these two people disproving what he knows to be the dark truth about the world.

Shun can tell that his good friend and ally Saiki is struggling with something, and he tries to help and to get Saiki to open up about it. But Saiki has never been the talkative type, so he can't quite get it out of him. Not knowing of course, that it has to do with something Saiki would never tell him, that he is the very enemy they have spent so much time fighting. And Shun's words of faith in him from season two echo is Kusuo's mind.

Is there a way to destroy this world without destroying these two honest people? Does he have to make them hate him in order to do it? Will Shun's spirit break when he finds out the truth?

#saiki k #kusuo saiki #shun kaidou #aren kuboyasu #The Jet Black Wing #Dark Reunion