Tumgir
#nothing is better than knife cat tbh
deus-lapidis · 18 days ago
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I am most definitely only seeing things, but i want it to be true
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honeyed-obscenities · 3 months ago
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Can I request a meet cute with bo
I love the idea of meet cutes with slashers tbh it's kinda that same alley as 'killing without pause but being soft for just one person' I love that shit. Female reader because I like the idea of a cute gal in the setting I chose for this one to take place in I hope that's okay.
Meat Cute- Bo Sinclair x Reader
What a glamorous life. Every day you come in fresh and clean and every day you leave smelling of iron and decay. But, hell, at least you look kinda cute covered in blood. In that 'horror girl with nothing left to lose' type of way.
“Take out the leftovers, Dollface?”
Coming from anyone else you might not take the name with a huff and exit with the bags of unusable entrails and parts. But your coworkers are primarily older biker types who call their wives their old ladies and you, being young and the only one with skin that's well taken care of, are the prettiest thing that comes through the slaughterhouse. 'Dollface' is less of a cat call and more of an acknowledgment of facts. Especially since you can cut apart anything with just as much skill as any of them- they know better than to make a girl with a butcher knife angry.
You thank whatever deity controls things like this that you work somewhere that takes pride in their products and taking care of their people or you'd fear for the state of your clothes at the sheer weight of the bag you carry out to the dumpster. You don't wear anything fancy; jeans, steel toe boots, and a cutoff t-shirt are the standard uniform under all of the protective wear and you're no exception. Well, maybe your underwear is a bit nicer but other than that...
You toss the large and rather squishy black bag into the bio-hazard dumpster with a grunt, checking your hands and rubbing them together to lessen the appearance of the smears of blood leftover from the outside of the bag. You learned a while ago wiping them on your apron is essentially an oxymoron of an action.
“Barbie-”
“FUCK me.” You jump and turn, glaring at one of your coworkers. “Didn't your mama ever teach you not to sneak up on someone? 'Specially when they're known to carry a damn knife around- God almighty.”
“Poor baby- Watch the shop for me. I gotta take a shit.”
“Lovely,” you say in a tone that oozes sarcasm. He's one of the younger guys, more prone to nicknames that irk you and talking to you like you don't do the same job as everyone else. Regardless, you do as he asks and head up front to the butcher shop area. It's nothing fancy or even very inviting. You primarily only sell to restaurants and other commercial ventures but it brings in a respectful cut of profit. Still, someone has to man the counter daily and you feel it's really something to say it's the least desirable job in the entire slaughterhouse. No one works here for the customer service aspect.
It's later in the day so you know there isn't much to be done. Your big rush comes at opening with some visitors scattered throughout the day. You decide to start wiping down the counters and tools, cleaning being an important aspect of the job your oh-so-tactful coworker seems to forget with ease. The bell above the door rings as you're cleaning the larger meat slicer and you huff, throwing down the bloody rag, making your way to the sales counter, and putting on a smile as you lean past the register to observe your visitor. “Hello,” you chime, looking over the man that's come in. Hmm, tall and handsome dressed in his Sunday best with well maintained hair and a quirk to his features that implies curiosity and analyzing. “...Having a youth group grill up?” You can't help but make a crack. The never ending comedic stylings of your coworkers keep you snarky.
He glances at you then down at his clothes, lips pulling into an easy smile. “Good guess, m'am, but no.” He approaches the counter and matches your lean, placing himself a respectable but close distance from you over the vinyl countertop. “Had a good day, thought I might splurge on a bit a choice meat for dinner tonight. I cook a mean ribeye,” he says with a growling quality to his voice that makes the hairs on your arms stand on end.
“You... know this is more of a big sale type place? We mostly cut for orders over fifty pounds.”
“Well,” he drawls, licking his lips in an attention grabbing manner. “I ain't one to say no to a pretty girl, so if that's your minimum... S'pose me an' mine'll be eatin' good for a bit.”
You match his gaze before smiling. “Called my bluff. We're not supposed to but it's late and I don't wanna do anything big if I don't have to.” You exhale and push off the counter, tying the top half of your apron back on and glancing back. “Ribeye, was it? How thick?”
“Thick as you can handle, angel.” Maybe it's because of the similar jokes from your coworkers, maybe it's that he's handsome and more charming than anyone you work with, or maybe you're just genuinely interested of your own accord. Regardless you smirk and throw open the walk-in door. There's a half rib still on hook- a smaller portion that's easy for you to lug out and onto a counter though the sheer size of it still makes the action look impressive.
“Bone in or bone out?”
“Bone in, of course.” You look over and grin at him, removing a knife from the block at the back of the counter. You can see him watching you out of the corner of your eye as you chop into the ribs; intent and hungry but you aren't sure if it's because of the meat or you. You take care to wrap them neatly, separated by thin sheets and swaddled in clean white paper marked with the cut type. Measuring out the weight and punching in the cost at the register you see him giving you an odd smile.
“Did you need anything else, sir?” His eyes dilate minutely at the title and he straightens up with a charming look.
“Nah, angel. I was just thinkin'... I ain't ever seen a gal look so good with a knife before.”
You can't help but grin deviously. “You should see me when we're in the middle of a rush. I'm on that classic samurai shit- blink and you'll miss me.” You swipe the blade clean and slot it back into the block. You've become so used to the motions it takes no effort but you're well aware of how badass it looks and, admittedly, you want to impress him. “That's forty eight fifty. Cash or check?”
As he pulls out his wallet you look him over and write on his order's wrapping while he's not paying attention. He gives you two twenties and a ten and tells you to keep the change. When you hand over his order he places one of his hands over yours as he takes it. The size of his hands is impressive compared to yours and you don't miss the clear feel of working man's skin. He smiles and glances down, pausing at the sight of the ten digits written beneath his cut information. His smile grows and he meets your eye again. “Thanks, angel. I'll be seein' you real soon, I hope.”
“I hope so, too. Sir.” The look he gives you should be concerning but now he's aware how good you are with a knife and you're no coward.
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minecraftrelatedrandomness · 9 months ago
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Aqua’s Live Reactions: “The Red Banquet...”
Due to recent events, I am once again doing a live reactions post, this time to the Red Banquet from Puffy’s POV. Since her vods are not officially archived, I am watching this unofficial re-upload.
A few things before we begin, as usual:
I already roughly know what happens and have watched a few small snippets from various streams already.
I didn’t watch the stream live or earlier because I was asleep (time zones are incompatible) and had a test earlier this morning.
Like before, if there are any ads, you’re probably going to see me raging over them.
This whole post is within the context of the SMP, so /rp and /dsmp applies to everything under the cut.
If you don’t know what happened, be warned, as spoilers go unmarked. I’m only adding the spoiler warning because it’s within the first 24 hours of the stream, but in all the other cases, it was later, so it was all fair game.
0:13 – I am vibing to the music... what do you mean, “beep beep, I’m a sheep”?!
0:21 – Does anyone know what song this is? It’s awesome music
2:28 – It’s starting! It’s starting! Just as I was going to skip to the starting point. And oh my god, you’re looking stunning today, Ms. Puffy! Absolutely gorgeous! (that word is so hard to spell oh my god)
2:54 – Yeah, they better have her shrimp cocktail
3:07 – Knowing what exactly happened to the armour... I wince
3:24 – Did they finally wake George up for a lore drop? FINALLY?!!?
3:43 – Everyone is here! All the ladies are here! And they’re looking amazing tonight <3
3:57 – What’s Quackity leaving the game for? Hmm, I wonder why...
4:02 – I like their dresses too, Puffy! And yours too! Stunning! Amazing! Beautiful!
4:15 – Imagine if Puffy did go in a suit? And Eret...?
4:21 – Monarch is looking AMAZING!!
4:43 – “George, clearly dressed for the occasion.” LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HE DOESN’T EVEN CARE, AT LEAST HE SHOWED UP FOR THE LORE FOR ONCE, CUT HIM SOME SLACK (also on an off topic note, I love how Eret has a bow named “Natural Causes” so if he kills someone with it, they technically died of natural causes lmao)
6:27 – Yeah, right, you can dye horses?! Or do you have to breed one of that coloration specifically?
6:38 – Or is it just red horse armour?
6:54 – OH MY GOD YOU CAN DYE HORSES
7:09 – Oh it’s just horse armour, CALLED IT
7:41 – let’s hope they’re turning over a new leaf... hey Eggpire, WHY THE FUCK YOU LYING, WHY YOU ALWAYS LYING, OH MY GOD, STOP FUCKING LYING
7:55 – random thought but this time george really be like [ACHIEVEMENT GET: SHOW UP TO A LORE EVENT FOR ONCE]
9:26 – When is the Banquet going to start? I’m gonna get my fidget cube for this... I’m bored and anticipating the action
9:50 – *destressing with fidget cube intensifies* hey maybe there are no ads here because there are next to no views on this unofficial vod
10:29 – ERET KNOWS HORSE TRICKS, EQUESTRIAN ERET FTW, POP OFF MY LIEGE
11:29 – ANT SAID “WELCOME” IT’S STARTING AT LAST
11:55 – the crimson bricks genuinely make me nervous because it’s so red and reminds me of a nether fortress?
12:05 – wait, what potions does puffy have? why does no one sneak a knife into the venue or something? like switchblades aren’t that hard to hide (minecraft logic = a sword deep in your inventory)
12:21 – “you can put your items in” yeah... like how you put things into a chest before you respawn? HUH?
12:37 – did sam just... take everything off in front of ponk? that is lowkey super awkward ya know
12:59 – the egg room is like seriously disturbing, it has a super bad vibe like those spooky jungles in adventure movies with danger lurking around every corner
13:40 – that is so awkward to watch lmao
14:25 – FOOLISH MY BELOVED
15:29 – there’s so much rolex talk... so rolexes are canon, and we need to get on with the action already
16:22 – honestly I’m mildly glad that sapnap didn’t show up (hc that karl knew better than to let him go) but at the same time... we lost a chance at ship angst and resolution, I guess the conflict had to go on for longer than 2 weeks
16:35 – “there’s my c0ck” SIRRRRRRRRRRR
17:06 – is that just me, or is there a red skeppy statue in the background? and I am getting purely masquerade vibes here... *blasts let’s kill tonight by p!atd in the background as the dance music*
17:11 – chirp? really? I would 100% have brought out let’s kill tonight... *jams to the song in the background*
18:03 – is a conversation happening? sorry, I was too busy actually blasting let’s kill tonight on a different tab, so I couldn’t hear, oops
18:14 – oh it’s just greetings, nothing big, I can keep blasting p!atd, no worries ig
18:32 – the room is beautiful, but also has that... mysterious vibe... actually more like creepy and omninous
18:45 – he PEED on the egg?!!? that is absolutely disgusting to hear. not because i care about the egg, but sir... hygiene... TMI
19:31 – sam did WHAT WITH THE PUNCH WHY WHAT THE FUCK
20:15 – “i definitely didn’t rob it off of someone” “what” ok who did you rob it off of, li’l foxy, who did you rob to get such a banger outfit
20:51 – he woke up late and didn’t have time to change into a pretty suit lmaoooooooooo typical gogy
22:02 – first chirp, now blocks... do all the music discs they have there have a red centre?
22:12 – no, that one’s a different disc... *checks* it’s mall, blue centre, ok false alarm
22:47 – H what are you thinking
23:33 – are we being lured into a false sense of security? because there are 30 minutes left on this vod and everything so far has been... soft. definitely luring us into a false sense of security, when is the action going to start?
24:18 – “hey guys it’s time for dinner” FINALLY (even if it does mean that people are going to be fed to the egg, it’s finally time for the action, it only took about half a stream of painfully sitting around waiting)
24:42 – is that just me or is that a fuckin’ wither rose
25:05 – they invited dream lmaoooooooooooo suck it green boy
25:23 – all the soup is red... hmmmmmmmmmmmm........
25:35 – “can’t believe you did all of this with one hand” hahahahaha no :’(
27:04 – are the honey bottles seriously renamed Ambrosia of all things?! I thought ambrosia was the food and nectar was the drink... *confused expression*
27:57 – ARE THEY SERIOUSLY QUOTING ROADTRIP ON THIS SERIOUS OCCASION LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 
29:01 – pls lmaoooo too much roadtripping around here can we start killing people already /lh
29:18 – yay for George Lore!
29:51 – aren’t everything chemicals of some sort? even the beetroots have cellulose in them, that in itself is made of polysaccharides and strings of glucose which is C6H12O6 and that’s made of its own chemical constituents so saying that anything is chemical-free is impossible tbh... oh wait I think I as a science student placed too high expectations on a bunch of minecraft youtubers /lh /j
31:54 – THE LAVA CURTAINS ARE COMING DOWN THERE’S FINALLY ACTION “A BANQUET NONE OF US ARE GOING TO FORGET” INDEED :DDDDDDD
32:07 – that “prepare to die” is SO NONCHALANT I CAN’T TAKE THIS
32:52 – sorry, puffy, you got outmaneuvered
33:13 – hannah my beloved ;-; why would you do this
34:04 – I’m sorry, Sam... the last time someone tried to blow up the Egg... well, as we can see from this event, it clearly failed ;-; (sorry Q)
34:27 – no-sell on the egg, sir, it’s regenerating, sir, I’m sorry, sir, when are the cavalry going to arrive? anyone got some fire res?
34:39 – cat’s out of the bag, the peas are spilled, quackity’s attempt to blow the thing up failed and now everyone knows
34:47 – @ quackity NICE JOB BREAKING IT ANTI-HERO
35:13 – CALLED IT ON THE FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY
35:22 – “in order for the egg to hatch” WAIT HOLD THE PHONE 1) THE EGG IS GONNA HATCH AND THERE’S PROBABLY SOMETHING OR EVEN SOMEONE INSIDE IT AND 2) THE EGG LITERALLY HASN’T HATCHED IN OVER 100 YEARS (read: the masquerade took place in estimated the early 1900s or so, judging by lyaria’s outfit) WHY DO YOU THINK THE RED BANQUET IS GOING TO ALLOW IT TO HATCH IF IT HASN’T ALREADY HATCHED IN SO LONG
36:22 – “no one has anything” THEN WHY DIDN’T YOU SNEAK ONE IN 
36:33 – y’all’s honour before reason attitude ends up being the death of y’all guys a moral code and promises don’t work on the battlefield, unfortunately, that’s not how the dream smp works, we have like at least 3 people that can attest to y’all that unscrupulous means are the only way you can do to survive
37:42 – foolish really made a foolish decision *sobs*
39:56 – NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY HEART LITERALLY HURTS AND STOPPED RIGHT THERE SOMEONE TELL THESE EGGHEADS TO STOP GUILT TRIPPING PEOPLE AND BEING MANIPULATIVE SONS OF BITCHES (also holy fuck they literally fought god and killed him)
40:32 – motherfuckers took too long to decide who to kill and MY BOY!!! HE’S HERE!!! QUACKITY MY BELOVED <3333333
40:34 – HE’S ACTING ON HIS PROMISE TO KEEP OPPOSING THE EGGPIRE, WHAT DO YOU MEAN, QUACKITY IS GOING TO PAY FOR BLOWING IT UP? HE LITERALLY STARVIN’ THE EGG, HE STAYS WINNING!!!!
41:21 – he’s wearing a tie now??? (welp there goes my headcanon)
42:25 – “you’re working for something that quite frankly doesn’t even care about you” you’d know that better than anyone else, wouldn’t you, big q?
42:30 – *passes puffy an axe and a gapple behind his back* CHEKHOV’S GUN
43:30 – “you should have brought an army with you” HEY GUESS WHAT
43:34 – “guess what, bad, i did!” TECHNO IS A ONE MAN ARMY YEAH... OH AND HOUND ARMY, NATURALLY
43:49 – “i have an army” “i have the man that traumatized me and murdered me to the point of permanent damage and disability but i am willing to team up with him to make you shut the fuck up”... i wonder what the conversation was like to get techno on his side
44:05 – “that’s a lot of dogs” they’re called the hound army for a reason, sir
44:43 – “bad, to be frank with you, quackity just had the better price” YOU GO FUNKY TEENAGE MERCENARY, PURPLED LORE FOR THE WIN
46:01 – the doggos are dying but this ending battle is AWESOME
46:40 – wait, after all this time, I still haven’t seen Ranboo, where the hell is he?
47:00 – “no place for emotions” *is literally sad at foolish dying*
47:04 – “i’ve had so many interactions with this guy, i’m traumatized” ok who out there is going to be writing the fics about this? oh, and if you ship them in the fic, you die by my sword
47:40 – “i’ll build a prison for [the egg] if i have to” LMAOOOOOOOO
51:08 – “you’re a hero, purpled” “i do my best” :DDDDDD
52:17 – you avenged your son, ma’am
52:38 – “and i killed my best friends” ;-;
52:52 – “only two dogs survived” RIP doggos
53:16 – “...one dog” “oh” F in the chat, y’all
53:52 – THAT WAS AN EPIC STREAM..........
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gryffinclxw · 11 months ago
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willow- steve rogers x reader
warnings: mentions of self doubt, kinda angsty, problems get solved tho :)
word count: about 1.3k
a/n: HI consider this my apology because the new prideful piloting part isn’t ready yet. i love steve and taylor swift and tbh if he were an evermore song he’d be willow it literally fits him perfectly so i had to do something with it!! hope you enjoy muah
it wasn’t fun, always having to run. whenever anything went wrong, it was just what you did. it was what you had done for years. an assassin, a weapon ripped from her home and trained nearly from birth, turned into an avenger. you had ran for so long, it was hard to stop running. that’s why right now, you were ready to run again. so much was keeping you here, and you didn’t know if you had what it took to stay. what happened when they realized you were a monster? what happened when they decided they didn’t need you anymore? they had an assassin already, you were just a liability. or at least, that’s what you had convinced yourself.
the new avengers facility was nice, but nothing was truly nice when you were alone. that was the starting shot you needed, and now you were at the compound packing up all you needed.
your heart broke a little for what you’d be leaving behind, your family. but you were convinced they didn’t feel the same about you. you thought that to them, you were disposable.
your heart cracked more, because you wished you didn’t have to leave him behind.
but, steve rogers was a golden man. he didn’t need a broken woman.
little did you know, he thought the roles were reversed.
however, they say we are all fools in love, and what you felt for steve was the most love you were capable of.
so yeah, it hurt a lot when you were getting ready to run away this time, but you had to. you weren’t a hero. you might’ve been an avenger but you were not a hero. no little girls wanted to be like you, the world didn’t rejoice when you came into a fight. they were scared of you. it was what you needed to do, even if it hurt you.
what you failed to see was that you were a hero. the team did need you. they loved you, and most importantly, steve needed you. steve loved you.
but you ran away.
it was like you had vanished. you had cut and dyed your hair, changed your wardrobe, and wore colored contacts. you were also in france, colmar to be exact. nobody had heard of you since that day.
it took them a month to find you. you had made a careless mistake, you had been a little sloppy, almost like you wanted them to discover your whereabouts.
you did. you were practically begging steve to find you, for him to take your hand and wreck your plans. for him to take you home because you didn’t want to run away- it was just what you did best. if he found you, it meant they were all looking. you wanted them to convince you to stay.
they had sent steve and natasha to colmar to bring you back. if anyone could do it, it was them. they knew you best, natasha was like your сестра, sister. and steve, well, everyone saw how you looked at steve- like he had put the sun in the sky.
they didn’t bother knocking, the door was unlocked so they just walked in.
you were in the kitchen of the colorful little home you’d taken refuge in, cutting strawberries. it was almost like you sensed they were there, turning slowly and letting the knife you were using slip from your hand, which clattered as it fell on the counter.
natasha approached you like you were a stray cat, afraid you’d startle and run at any sudden movement she made.
“steve, mind waiting outside?”
so he was here. you instantly became overwhelmed with guilt. you’d left your family behind, you’d left steve, and you didn’t even say goodbye. it made you feel horrible when you realized it, when you realized they actually did care.
steve nodded quickly and made his way out of the tiny home.
she started by surveying your new appearance, haircut and colored contacts, as well as the change of outfit from a black catsuit to the frilly white dress you wore now.
“didn’t know you owned white.” she said, smirking at you.
“it’s a whole lot more comfortable” you responded, effectively breaking the ice between you both as you shared a short laugh.
she then surprised you by pulling you into her, wrapping her arms around you tightly.
“i know how it feels, i just never went through with it.”
she was just like you. she knew how to run just as well as you did.
“i wish i hadn’t.”
your eyes became watery, threatening to spill tears over your cheeks. it was the truth, you wished you hadn’t ran from the only people who had ever stuck around, you just didn’t know how to deal with things that weren’t temporary.
“how has he been?”
you pulled away from the hug and she let her touch linger over your shoulders, knowing you’d appreciate the support.
“i think you should ask him that.”
she knew she didn’t have to ask you to come back, she had felt the same way you felt just as many times as you had. she knew the moment you left that you would come back. her hands left your shoulders and she gave you a sympathetic look, exiting the house and sending steve in.
it was then that the guilt overwhelmed you multiplied. he really must’ve thought it was his fault, because he was steve after all. steve rogers thought he could save everything, and when he couldn’t it hit him harder than a freight train.
nevertheless, the steve that walked in was still golden. like a trophy, or a championship ring. but he also seemed fragile, he wore a tired expression, and immediately you couldn’t help but rush to embrace him.
you would do anything to fix this.
“i never stopped looking for you. searched for clues every day.” he said it into your hair, leaning down so he could hold you. he held onto you tight, as if you were ready to disappear. again.
“i’m so sorry steve, i just thought that i was-“
your voice began to crack from the emotion that was as thick as honey in your throat.
“i thought i was a liability. to you, to the team.”
you were showing him the places where everyone had laid an emotional scar now. your tears began to overflow, streaking down your cheeks, and causing your voice to shake, so you decided to stop speaking.
“i should’ve-“
you cut him off before he could finish that sentence.
“it’s not your fault, steve.” you pulled away from the embrace so you could see him, and his hands moved to rest on your hips, grip still tight.
“it never is your fault. i promise.”
his forehead came to rest against yours, and you felt complete again.
“you aren’t a liability, you know that right?” his voice was uncharacteristically soft, and your emotions were running wild.
“i do now.”
you learned a lot in the month you were gone. you learned how it felt to be alone again, a feeling you hadn’t been close with in a while. you had realized you liked it a lot better when steve was around. and you had realized that people do come back, when you run. because that’s what love does. it brings you back, over and over, because it makes people stupid. or wise, maybe. wherever you’d stray, he’d follow, he’d take your hand, and then he’d lead you back.
“let’s go home.”
it wasn’t an open shut case, but now you knew from the look on his face, that you couldn’t go anywhere without him again. you could never let yourself leave your family, your home, again. you would stop running. and steve would help you.
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peaky-malachai · 10 months ago
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﹒☼﹒
UPON RETURN | T. SHELBY | ii
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﹒♱﹒
part. ii
•requested: yes by a few
•tw: slight mention of blood/fight, alcohol? at the very end theres a bit of seggsual tension
•wc: 2k ish
•season set: 1 /2 (i vision just before 1 tbh)
﹒♱﹒
You almost went silent as you doubled over, laughing with John, trying to catch your breath. The Garrison was loud, a Saturday night was always the busiest, being that it was half of the towns last day at work. Unfortunately not everyone had a two day weekend.
"So this whole room is yours then, ay?", you asked after your laughter died down and you both took a swig of your beverages.
"Oh yeah", John sat up, his arm resting on top of the bench, a few foot between you both, "Meetings, parties, everything 'appens in 'ere", he cleared his throat as he watched you look around in awe.
"When I left", you snorted, "When I left, you boys were barely even feared by Misses Briggs down at the bakery, 'n' she's a scaredy cat", you laughed, "Fuckin' 'ell, now look at ya, practically run the town".
John shrugged, "I don't even know how it got to this, to be fair".
The door burst open to reveal a drunken Arthur, "Y/L/N!", he called, walking over to sit adjacent from you in a singular arm chair,
"Y/N/N, how are ya?".
You held back a laugh, slightly tipsy yourself from Harry's generous pouring, "Better than I was this afternoon, Arthur", you leant back into the bench, "Me 'ands are comin' along now n'all".
Arthur squinted his eyes as you held your hands out above the table. Suddenly he stood up and moved over to sit next to you on the end of the bench. You quickly scooted across it to make some space and practically fell against John. Which of course ended up with now all three of you wheezing with laughter.
As if on queue, Tommy then walked through the door. His eyebrows slightly knitted as he looked over at the scene before him. Y/N's practically in John's lap, Arthur practically hugging the side of Y/N. The three of them hadn't even noticed Tom standing there as they tried catching their breath, trying to remember why they were laughing in the first place.
"Tommy!", John saw his elder brother first, "Finally! Come to join us for a pint 'ave yah?".
Tommy barely nodded his head as he kept his eyes trained on Y/N, who appeared to be now busy talking to Arthur about something. Clearly ignoring Tommy. Which angered him. Not that he would exhibit any sign of that.
"Did you know that Y/Ns been taking notes from our books whilst she's been away", John asked Tommy, "She's practically made her own betting shop down in London, t' make a few bob on the side". John nudged you, bringing you into his conversation, "'Aven't yah?".
You shrugged, "It wasn't really a betting shop", you turned to face John as Arthur stood up, stumbling to the small double door in the wall to get a fresh pint from Harry. "It was more like a 'You bet money on this and I'll double your winnings if you win, except, you won't win because I've rigged it' kind of thing and it was in the middle of the street".
John laughed, "Yeah, exactly, that's what I said".
Tommy walked over to the arm chair where Arthur had first sat, "That's dangerous", he commented as he pulled a pre-rolled cigarette out of his own metal tin.
You scoffed, sitting up straight, realising Tommy was actually in the same room as you right now and you looked a mess, "That's a bit rich coming from you, Thomas", you lifted your leg across the other under the table as you held your chin high. Who was he to tell you something was dangerous; As if he wasn't a notoriously dangerous criminal himself.
Tommy narrowed his eyes as he quickly took a glance at you before lighting his cigarette and chucking his pack of matches onto the table, his spare hand landing next to them. "You know", he began, which made you roll your eyes already, "I'm only trying to look out for you, it's not as if you have us down there with you".
You arched your eyebrow as let out a dry laugh, turning to John to see if he found his just as amusing. He didn't, of course, he was a man, he thought nothing of it as took a swig of his drink. Unfazed by the conversation.
"What, so are you sayin' that 'coz I'm a woman, I can't run my own dodgy business 'coz I won't 'ave The Three Main Peaky Boys to protect me when shit goes bobbins?".
John turned to you, his drink a centimetre away from his lips, "Goes what?".
"Rubbish! Goes Rubbish!", you shook your head at your best friend with a light slap to the side of his head, he tutted and pushed you back slightly.
"This, Tommy", you turned back, "This is exactly why I run my own dodgy business, by myself".
"What do you mean by exactly why?", he said simply.
"I mean, I don't have to fuckin' explain myself every five seconds", you sighed as you leant forward, resting your elbows on the table, a clear sign that you weren't having any of it. Tommy had almost forgotten you were like this. So brash. He liked it. He liked you. It irritated him. "Because everyone down there understands what I'm fuckin' on about".
John turned to you, speaking lowly, "Yeah, but you grew up here?".
You turned to him with a scowl, "Yeah, doesn't mean I fuckin' talk like yous, does it ya muppet".
"Shut up".
"You're the one that fuckin' said it".
"Oi", Arthur shouted as he walked back over, "Why are you arguing like little kids again".
"'Cause Tommy thinks I shouldn't run my own business", you turned to Arthur as he sat down across from John.
"I never said you shouldn't be running it", Tommy said with a flat tone, "I said, it's dangerous".
"Yeah, but it's the way in which you said it".
"You knew I wasn't being condescending".
"Fuckin' seemed like it", you crossed your arms across your chest as you turned your head away from Tommy.
"Oh for fuck sake!", John shouted, "Can't you two go five minutes with out bickering? It's like 1912 all over again", he stood up, "I'm going to find a woman".
"Fine! Fuck off then", you smiled playfully as you watched John flip you off whilst leaving the room. Arthur watched in wonder, he didn't understand your friendship at all, though he admired it.
"Right", Arthur slapped the table, "I've gotta piss but I'll see you two when you've stopped arguing". With that Arthur left the room. You and Tommy now alone.
Wonderful.
Great.
Neither of you said a word. You watched as Tommy eyes moved from every item on the table until he had no choice but to look up around the room. You wasn't stupid. You knew he wanted you to speak first. He wasn't good with expressing his emotions.
But fuck that.
And neither were you.
You brushed your skirt down before standing up and walking behind Tommy's chair. You didn't get far before he sharply turned to grab your wrist, letting go when he realised that was a little boisterous.
"Where you off to then?".
You shrugged, "Dunno, anywhere that's going to hold more conversation then you".
Tommy sighed, "Fuck sake", he mumbled, "Sit down", he looked you in the eye as he motioned for you to sit in the singular seat across from him.
You pursed you're lips, thinking — although honestly, you didn't need to think twice before agreeing to whatever Tommy told you.
Getting comfortable on the seat you looked over at the broken criminal, the shell of who used to be a bubbly trouble maker. "Well".
"Well what?", Tommy asked as he spoke with the end of his cigarette in his mouth.
You shook your head slightly, amazed by the stubbornness, "Why did you want me to sit down, I was excepting at least a smile, or would you rather I leave and find Jack from down the lane", you smirked as you picked at your nails innocently.
Tommy looked over with a harsh glare, "We both know you'd rather spend eternity in a prison cell with me and a rat then have to get into bed with him".
You smiled, it was true, you both knew it.
Yet even the idea of you with Jack still managed to irritate Tommy, it was amusing. You chose not to speak, wanting Tommy to give you his full attention. He looked over, stubbing out the end of his cigarette as he turned to face you, body mirroring yours. He cleared his throat before speaking, "Remember the day you left?".
You shrugged, "Suppose – everyone hugged me a thousand times over and you gave me that pocket knife".
Tommy shook his head, "Wasn't asking a question".
Your voice faded as you knitted your eyebrows together with an irritated smirk, "Oh, sorry, so go on then", leaning forward and resting your elbow on the side of your chair with your chin in your hand you looked Tommy up and down, debating how much time you would have left alone with him before another brother made an entrance, "Enlighten me on my memories".
Tommy's body relaxed back into his seat as his tongue touched his cheek, he had always loved your argumentative side, it seemed as if you reserved it especially for him.
"When you left Jacks house", he spoke as he reached into his blazer to grab something from a hand sewn (by polly) inner pocket, "with this", he handed you a smashed pocket watch.
You took the old small gold plated clock and looked at it with a small glint in your eyes. That clock had once belonged to Jack. Poor lad. You'd been in his house helping out his mother with some letters she wanted to send out for Christmas. Everything was fine until Jack came home, drunk. He was a few years older then yourself. Almost the same as Thomas.
Skipping the details he was talking about a certain girl he had been trying to chat up. Of course she didn't want anything to do with Jack, which she seemed to have cleared up respectfully. However, Jack, being the piece of shit he was, didn't care for that and thought she owed him something.
After hearing enough of it you turned to his mum and said, 'sorry but I can't take this any longer'.
You then stood up and grabbed the pocket watch hanging loosely from his gin stained blazer and smashed it into the side of his head, hitting his left temple. Blood trickled down from his eyebrow as he stumbled back, tripping up and falling onto his settee.
You grabbed him by the collar of his shirt with your free hand, leaning down to face him, 'don't ever talk another girl who's uninterested in you ever again', you pushed him back and stood up straight, 'and if you so I'll let some not very nice men know about it, call in some favours if you know what I mean'.
He nodded profusely and started mumbling some apology as you turned back to face his mother, 'sorry, I'll see myself out', you said as you grabbed your coat and bag before quickly leaving to go find Tommy and tell him about how you probably just made a big mistake.
"He was an ass", you simply said as you placed the watch onto the table, "Whats your point, Thomas". The mans face twitched, almost invisibly, but you saw.
"My point", he leant forward, "Y/N". You gulped, sitting up straight. "That's when I realised you were the one". You visibly shivered when you felt his finger tip on your knee, slowly tapping it he moved it half an inch up as he spoke, "That's when I realised you were going to be the death of me, Y/N".
Biting your lip you looked down, watching Tommy's finger tease it's way across your thigh, unsure of his plans. Barely above a whisper you managed to get out a breathless, "Tommy".
You saw him smirk as he licked his lower lip, his eyes travelling over your body before finally meeting yours, "Yes?".
Cheeks rosey red as you felt yourself blushing you uncrossed your legs and sat up straight with your chin in the air. Only to recross your legs the opposite way.
"Is this an issue, sweetheart?", Tommy said gently, this time he placed his entire hand on your thigh, the thin fabric of the old dress you borrowed from Ada being the only thing separating your warm skin from Tommy's stone cold hand. The only thing stopping you from losing all self control you had.
﹒♱﹒
✒︎author note: part three then?
& comment any spelling mistakes x
✒︎feedback: plz :))
✒︎requests: open⎝09/2021⎞
☞published: 16.03.2021
﹒☼﹒
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alexmercer2424 · a year ago
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Ooh Pyramid Head NSFW ABC’s?
Knife?
Pyramid Head NSFW ABCs
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Aftercare
Pyramid Head doesn’t know anything about aftercare, less be real here. It’s a lost concept to him, care isn’t his thing, he’s made to punish. However, if you force yourself close to him after the deed he will hold you and likely play with your hair. He doesn’t know what he’s doing, your hair is a wonderful mystery to him is all, but it counts in your heart
Body Part
Be it because he himself doesn’t have one, or a lot of things don’t have a normal one, but he loves your face. The expressions you make during sex always draw his attention in close, and he can’t look away. It makes him curious and it makes him wonder what other faces he can get you to make, what other noises too
Cum
He likes cumming inside you, nothing too kinky. He likes claiming you as his, and this is the best way, his scent and seed actually in you and peg of you rather than just on you that could be washed off easily. In his head, it puts him at ease because he thinks it’ll keep other creatures away from you
Dirty Secret
Pyramid Head isn’t a soft guy, nothing about him is sweet or cuddly, but he loves when you cuddle and pet his helm. He loves when you’re gentle and your touches are soft, and there’s no rushing any of it, it’ll make him melt and likely finish much sooner than either of you are used to. You’ll find it cute, but he’ll try to avoid the embarrassment even if he adores the attention
Experience
Normal like, human to human, consenting and not dangerous experience? No… no he doesn’t have that. Taking what pleases him, no regard of the other creatures feeling of life even? Yeah… yeah, he’s got that, but we’re ignoring that for right now
Favorite Position
To be honest, his favorite position, is!!! Simply holding you in his lap. He likes how close you are to him, loves how small you are compared to him, and he has the desire to protect you and what better way than to hold you close, even during your intimate times. His helm will shield you, his hands/arms on you will help protect you, and he loves feeling you squirm against his chest
Goofy
Goofy? What? What??? As goofy as he’s going to be is his weird helm purring, but other than that nothing he’ll do on purpose. You may be able to confuse him or get him to do something odd that’ll make you laugh, but he hasn’t done it on purpose
Hair
…I don’t think he has hair, of any sort. He’s a creature of Silent Hill, and I don’t believe anything has hair off the top of my head. He loves your hair though, touching it lazily or pulling it, whatever he’s in the mood for
Intimacy
PH can be intimate in his own way. His helm will vibrate softly, like a cat purring, to show his pleasure and his more gentle side. He’ll hold you close to him, and try to be gentle, but this is still hard for him to do as simple as it may sound. He’s a killer after all
Jack Off
This isn’t his thing, never was never will be. He’s a busy monster, he’s got places to be and things to do. The only time he’s ever sexual is with you so he doesn’t really see the point.
Kink
Pyramid Head’s kink is treating you like a sinner or guilty person, someone he has to punish. He’ll never kill you or be too violent with you like he has with his actual victims, but the thrill of it all gets his blood pumping and brings that primal monster inside him out
Location
Of course the location will be your safe house, away from all danger. Your safe house isn’t like a normal house, let’s be real, so your options on limited. It sounds boring, but it’ll likely be on whatever you call a bed
Motivation
His motivation is pleasing you. Whatever you did, or didn’t, he’s obviously attached himself to you since he has not only not killed you, but has also slept with you. He wants you happy, wants you comfortable here in Silent Hill so he’d do most anything. You can’t say this for many killers, let alone monsters
No
The biggest no is obviously his knife. This knife is far from wherever you two are getting down and dirty at. He’s a responsible knife user, let’s be real, but he’s not taking the chance. No need for it possibly falling, no need for it getting in the way, and if you try to suggest anything with it this will be the time he acts like he can’t understand you
Oral
Idk if this is possible in the traditional sense. PH is a big dude, all around. Deepthroating isn’t possible with the guy, let’s be real here. He’s not too picky on receiving oral, but he enjoys your effort. Use both hands, your tongue does more than you think, even light kisses will turn him on more than he started
Pace
All??? Everything??? Depends, depends how busy he’s been, how much adrenaline is running through his body or your own body. Sometimes he’ll follow your lead, or sometimes he’ll take the lead. Generally you two can find a happy medium, between fast and slow, but he could care less about the pace and your reactions say the same
Quickie
Quickies are Pyramid Head’s thing. He likes to take his time with you, or just take you, but never quickly. The only time it’s acceptable is near dawn, when he was busy patrolling the streets to come back to a needy you, or him being needy himself, because at dawn he’s likely gone
Risk
Usually there’s no risk involved, besides just sleeping with this monster man, but at times he can get you and the monsters of Silent Hill mixed up. He may feel the need to punish you which may result in him much rougher than normal. It’s up to you to either get use to and find pleasure in the pain, or find a way to snap him out of the trance
Stamina
If it’s a particularly quiet night in Silent Hill, and you’re up for it, he can go as long as his first appearance to before he needs to go. This guy walks the streets and drags his Great Knife around all night, sometimes fighting and sometimes not, he’s got all the stamina in the world. It also helps he’s a demon/monster of some sort too
Toys
Honestly if you show Pyramid Head a vibrator, he’s likely stare at it confused or think it’s a weapon of some sort. Or that you castrated a man, that’ll likely pop into his head first. He’ll likely ignore it because he doesn’t understand, and the only thing he’s going to do with it is slap it out of your hand if you poke him with it
Unfair
Tbh, this is like 50/50. The reason you’re not dead around him is because he doesn’t see you as a sinner or someone who is guilty, meaning he has no reason to punish you. However! That’s his job, punishing people and creatures for what they’ve done, it’s what he knows. Some nights he’ll ge gentle and caring and give you all you want, but sometimes his work sticks around a little longer, especially if he has just punished someone, meaning he may tease and torture you (not like actually torture), and at times, just take rather than give
Volume
He can be loud, but not on purpose, in reality it’s quiet for him. He’s a large man, and with it comes large lungs and large vocal cords, allowing much greater volumes to come from him even when hushed. His groans will make his helm vibrate, and his mimicked breaths will cause the air around you to get hot
Wildcard
PH actually has a soft spot for you. Almost animal like. Pressing his helm against you, wanting your attention, lingering close by even when he doesn’t need to. As sexual as he may be, sometimes it’s not on his mind
XRay
This big monster man is big all around and there’s no doubting that. Big helm, big biceps, big knife, nothing is little regarding this man. He’s not a grower, but that’s no reason to be offended or concerned because even soft this man be dangerously big
Yearning
Pyramid Head doesn’t have the same yearning as some others per se. Not the yearning that involves needing to touch you and be close to you, but rather a paranoia. A paranoia to keep you safe and knowing you’re safe even when he’s not around
Zzz
I don’t think this thing man falls asleep. If you count not showing his face during the day, then you’ll know when he’s gone, but aside from that, he’ll be awake long after you fall asleep
I forgot to collapse it! Fml! 
No one saw anything, we’re good!
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backwardshirt · 3 months ago
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tier harribel for the ask meme? ヽ( 'ω' )ノ
Hello!!
From the ask game here.
I apologize beforehand for any spelling mistakes, I answered on mobile lol
1. Sexuality HC
I hc her as either being lesbian, and/or ace. As much as I like paring ichigo and grimmjow together, I think they actually be a special case. I'm unsure of how most arrancar would honestly even care, since they're basically a conglomeration of souls rather than a single one. Does the most powerful soul win? What constitutes powerful? Would they instead feel attraction to all since they're just a single part of a whole? It gives me a headache lol but for the purposes of this, and my sanity, I'll stick to my answers above.
2. OTP
Harribel and Nel (romantic), Harribel and her tres bestias (platonic/familial), and/or harribel, nel, and grimmjow (insufferable platonic/familial). I think all those parings are excellent and the idea that Hal, Nel, And Grimm banter like aggravated siblings pleases me immensely. She has the brain cell, let's Nel use it sometimes, and offers it to Grimmjow, who refuses.
3. BroTP
Harribel and Grimmjow, because I think despite everything, they'd get along fairly well, and a a part of me wonders how Harribel and Urahara would get along. Idk ifbit would be good or not, but I think they could come to some understandings.
Also, Harribel and Orihime. I see Harribel being very protective over Orihime, and I think they would enjoy each other's company.
4. NoTP
Huh this is one I hadn't really thought about tbh, I guess as far as romantic parings go I only see her really with Nel, if any one. Definitely no with barragan, nnoitora, and aizen.
5. Any small hcs
The injuries she sustained after they found her in TYBW were pretty bad, but urahara looked after her and her Trio in the shoten. I think she quite likes the human world, even though she thinks it's noisy.
I like to think that once she goes back to hueco Mundo, she's very open to communication between the human world, but not as much with the soul society. She has Nel, and unfortunately for Grimmjow, him for kinds of representation to the other areas. (Ss. And human world respectively, since I think Nel would fare better for short trips there. Hal would go for the longer ones if needed.)
Thia one is just silly refers, but I think she prefers cats over dogs, but Nel brings back Kukkopurro and just has to live with it. To her amusement, Kukkupurro prefers Hal over Nel.
6. How I relate to the character
I kind of relate to her 'sacrifice' moniker type thing. I tend to put the needs of others always over my own, good or bad so. But other than that...I'm the least calm and collected person I know, sooooo not a whole lot there. I like water I guess??? Lol
7. Any second hand embarrassment moments with this character?
Mmmm not really. I wish we got to see her in action in TYBW but nothing super cringey. I wasn't a fan of the scene where it flashbacks to her hollow days and that creepy hollow of barragans attacked her, but thst was because of him, not her.
8. Cinnamon roll or problematic fave
She's a little to sharp to be a cinnamon roll, but I don't particularly see her as a problematic person, even though she joined with aizen-he was a sweet talking,, manipulative bastard through and through. So definitely somewhere in between. She's incredibly reasonable and probably one of the most level headed arrancar,but shes also fiercely protective. What about like a knife with some cinnamon sugar on the blade???🤣
Thanks for the ask!! Let me know if ypu want me to expand on anything!
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autpunk-arsonist · a year ago
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@curliyee​ You’ve enabled my bs thank you uwu
Warning! All of these were made before i read the novels so … yeah none on these really align with canon and these were just things i made up about the characters after seeing their designs and just ran with it so i could have my own backstories for them fasdlksfgih also i’m only doing like seven and also under a read more cause it got long organizing them fdsjgkfadgsk
General:
Most of the crew is from the East Blue
A super close crew
Would die for their captain in a heartbeat 
But also extremely done with their captains craziness
Seriously Ace that’s the fifth time we’ve had to hold you back from fighting someone unprovoked since we’ve docked
Lovingly bullies each other <3
Everyone is slightly older than Ace, somehow they’ve all agreed to follow a teenager blame it on the freckles and his charming smile
By the time they meet Whitebeard they are used to Ace and his wildness and enjoy watching the Whitebeard Pirates adjust to it way to much
Deuce:
Came from a noble family with a shit tradition of not naming their kids until they became successful
Always wanted to be an author or an actor/playwright but was forced to go to medical school
Flunked out on purpose and ran away despite being a top student because he couldn’t deal with his family anymore
Fully planned on dying if Ace hadn’t showed up
Mildly salty about eating a devils fruit but not getting a power mostly because it tasted so fuckin awful he wants a consolation prize (his consolation prize is Ace tbh)
Two years older than Ace
Dyslexic 
Tanlines from his mask
Pockets upon pockets of junk ranging from useful to ‘wtf even is this’
Most of it isnt even his junk its his crewmate’s, especially Ace’s junk
Big gay for his captain tbh
Responsible but if its funny he will be chaotic
He's the one in charge of pulling children off of Ace when they dock and his captain inevitably because a favorite among the island children
Listen he let Ace keep a fuckin saber tooth lynx but he draws the line at letting Ace keep every other wild animal he comes across they don’t have room and this isnt a zoo Ace put the python down fuck now we have a python?
Has known Ace the longest and is the only Spade to be fully unaffected by Ace’s chaotic nature, barely anything catches him off guard after a week of knowing Ace
Cornelia:
Second member of the Spade Pirates
Ace and Deuce met her when they were stocking up on items and she tipped them off on the fact they were about to be jumped by the local bandits
Enjoyed alongside them and agreed to join the crew
A year older than Ace
Her bangs cover her eye as she is actually missing her right eye
Its an empty socket covered in acid burns
Only Ace, Deuce, and Skull know what happened 
She isnt insecure about it but she doesn’t enjoy the attention it garners so she covers it
Good with a sword but her danger lays in her knowledge of flora and fauna and pension for mixing poisons (idk where i got this headcanon, i think i read a fic and was like ‘ooo i like that’)
Uses throwing knives coated in a  poison but her sword is not
Immune to most poisons and venoms through exposure
Half the crew is convinced she’s a vampire cause she dresses darkly and mostly does the night shift
Pale as fuck and she burns easily which is why she has the night shift
One of the shortest crewmates
An enabler of chaos 
Will goad her crewmates into fights for her own amusement
Also very protective of her crewmates and captain
Aroace!
Here is a link to how i draw her (and Ace, Deuce, Kotatsu, Saber, and Skull too)
https://autpunk-artist.tumblr.com/post/613607350847307776/deuce-i-dont-want-to-talk-about-it-a   
Saber:
third member of the spades
Hit rock bottom before Ace literally crashed into his life
Literally
Ace crashed through the side of the bar Saber tended at and got into a fist fight before rushing off
Ace came back later and apologized for making a mess and offered to help clean it up but before he could finish his offer Saber got fired for ‘letting the bar get wrecked’
He offered Sabre to join his crew
Saber said fuck it and agreed
When he met said crew he realized he was the only actual adult (31) and his crewmates were all teenagers and had a bit of a freak out
Then he saw Ace fight and felt a little better about it
Still the dad of the crew, or at least he tries to be
Damn good with a gun and great with his fists
Has a large set of skills as he jumped around jobs a lot, if you ask him he probably has at least a little experience in most areas
He somehow only got fired for things way out of his control but he got blamed for
He finds it hilarious his longest standing job is a pirate
Skull:
The next member
It/Its pronouns 
Doesn't speak much
Mostly communicated through grunts, wheezes, and groans
Most people outside of the Spades can’t understand it but the Spades know how to talk with it
When it does actually speak it sounds like death. Raspy and painful
It has only spoken to the crew as a whole twice
To Ace it has spoken a few more times but only single words
The first time was to say thank you which Ace just smiled as thanked it for joining him
Ace found it locked in a tomb 
It hasn’t shared why it was locked in a tomb but no one presses to know
Age unknown to everyone including itself but guessed to be around 20
Hides face with a skull mask, its only taken the mask off on two occasions around the crew
Has some suspicious scarring
Shaved head with mapped out areas of the brain scarred into his skin 
Doesnt know why
Doesnt really want to know why
Tall as fuck and the only member paler than Cornelia
Cold cold cold and boney 
You can see all of its bones under its skin
But it gives great hugs
‘Hides’ behind Cornelia when scared despite being a god two feet taller than her
Scared of dogs until it met Stefan
Collects bones, weapons, and rocks and gives those as gifts if it finds one that reminds it of someone 
Deuce has his in its own pocket, Ace keeps his in his pouch on his shorts, Cornelia has hers as a necklace, etc etc
Kotatsu:
Ace is fully convinced Kotatsu is a regular stray cat because i think its funny
no one can convince him otherwise and at this point no one wants too
Maybe he's just a saber tooth lynx, maybe he's an old god, who knows? Ace doesn’t care that's his kitty :)
Sleeps in the captain's cabin
Somehow is always around whenever Ace has a narcolepsy attack and will stand guard
Has definitely defended the ship single handedly against intruders without anyone else noticing
Will lick and groom anyone 
Steals food off of people's plates
Screams when he's locked out of rooms
So many scars and everyone makes up stories about how he got them
The real backbone of the spades
Leaves dead things as presents
Ace is his favorite, Ace is his human and he does get jealous if he doesn’t get the most attention
Deuce is a solid second favorite
Idk if its possible but i also dont care so Kotatsu has haki in all three forms for the lols
Also seastone claws! Like nail polish! And maybe like… caps(?) or fillings on his teeth? Idk i like the idea of it tho but only if its safe but i also am not gonna look it up
Banshee:
Queen
Same age as Saber (31)
The only spade allowed in the kitchen
She doesnt even like cooking that much but she does not let anyone else attempt to cook without her supervision after the last time…..
Ace is the exception but hes on thin ice
Best dressed
Wine aunt
was a barmaid for years before joining Ace
will flirt with marines don’t test her
bisexual
Mihal:
Was a school teacher 
49 years old
His school shut down after a tragic murder of another teacher and parents not trusting the school or something similar
Good with children but also a bit scary
Would teach a child how to kill someone 
Uses his teaching experience to handle the crew
‘Now now, Deuce has the talking knife right now, settle down’
Was horrified at how many members have little schooling
Ace told him he learned how to read from another child and Mihal fainted
Dramatic af
Great sharp shooter
Great story teller, ghost stories are his forte
Lactose intolerant idk why but he seems lactose intolerant
Over shares some details of his life yet you know near nothing about the rest of his life
He will share about a really specific day in his past but no one knows basic information about him
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delusionland · 9 months ago
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STEPHCASS FOR THE MEME <3
PRE-RELATIONSHIP
How did they first meet?
here is my personal hc. tim told cass about a girl. he didn’t tell her anything about the girl, just that she was woefully unprepared to be a crimefighter... but also she was kinda cute, in a totally naive way (90s tim was kind of an asshole, never forget). cass couldn’t quite understand what he was saying while he showed her the batfile on her---the picture of the spoiler, etc. but she got his general tone and body language. cass then sought steph out. for nights. nights looking for the spoiler. when she found her---she tackled her, immediately engaged her in a fight. she went so, so easy on her. she just wanted to see what a cute girl was. and steph... was definitely a cute girl. at the time, cass couldn’t talk, couldn’t communicate with her. but she left her a gift. a nice knife that she had throw at her head---deliberately missing it, that was... especially ornate, and seemed shiny and valuable, and most of all purple to match her costume. pretty purple girls like pretty purple things, right?
What was their first impression of each other?
steph probably did not think well of cass, at first. after that first outing---the batfamily got involved. cass was to help steph with her fighting. steph was to help cass with her speech. without the mask on---steph could see how much cass enjoyed her company. it was hard not to realize she had a sense of humor about everything. the laughter she had exhibited on a still-baby-at-the-time spoiler screaming her head off about what she thought was some kind of demon-ninja batgirl was... genuine, and not malicious in the slightest. she seemed to want to be friends, and every time steph frowned at her, or was a sore loser, cass simply smiled and laughed harder, finding everything steph did perfectly amusing. as they got to know each other---cass got better at talking, and steph got better at fighting, and they kind of, met somewhere on the outer edges of the middle for a while. there was always something standing between them--though. a resentment, not between them, but a misunderstanding. that cass belonged to bruce and the bat. and steph belonged to tim.
Did any of their friends or family want them to get together?
i feel like conner kent at the very least shipped it. alfred really thought there was a spark between them, and during their brief frenemy stage---alfred made sure steph knew cass genuinely cared for her. bruce did NOT want them to get together at all, though. neither did tim, for obvious reasons.
Who felt romantic feelings first?
cass. it was love the first time steph managed to punch herin the face. did she win? no. but she GOT her. and through that tenacity, cass realized that her friend was so much more than a silly, pretty girl. she was a fighter. she was a champion. and more than anything, she was brave, and determined, and they had practiced a thousand times for just this moment. and afterwards, steph was just so proud of her overall failure instead of being herr typical loser.... cass couldnt help but know steph was always going to be the love of her life.
Did either of them try to resist their feelings?
they both did! didn’t want to ruin the friendship!
If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?
cass would get a curious look, steph wouldn’t believe you!
What would their lives be like if they had never met?
they would be a lot worse, a lot lonelier. steph never would’ve become batgirl, that’s for sure, and cass would’ve learned to speak---but in a way entirely removed from her own personality and love of herself & life.
GENERAL
Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?
it was a mutual thing in ocean city, maryland. they were in a photo booth, sitting in eachother’s laps, leg over leg, they did a silly face, and then another silly face, and then their faces were so close---and then SMOOCH CITY, and they WOULD NOT LEAVE THE BOOTH lol.
Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?
they considered ocean city their first date. but they’re not really the ‘dating’ types. they both LOVE to fight. they both LOVE to crime fight. they both LOVE spending time together doing NOTHING. if anything, the first time cass had to go to a gala with her was the first time they realized---ugh, do we REALLY have to be WAYNES? do we really have to have REAL LIVES? why can’t we stay in our cuddle - asskicking bubble forever?
What was their first kiss like?
it was the most natural possible thing, and it was something they had both almost had so many times before that it was like drowning in sensation after you had subsisted off of gerbil-cage drips of water for years. they couldn’t stop! they were consumed with want, and they only stopped when they started to get a little TOO frisky and somebody moved the curtain of the booth because they wanted to get their own picture taken and they were like ‘fuck! okay lets get french fries!’ lol
Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?
steph is cass’s first gf, and vice versa.
What’s their height difference? Age difference?
cass is 5′7″ JUST tall enough to be taller than her gf >: )
What’s their relationship with each other’s families?
cass will kill the puzzler or whatever the fuck his name is. he sucks. steph’s mom loves her tho :’ ) and well. the less said about bruce and steph the better, but like. your whole blog is proof of how much the rest of the batfam loves steph!
Who takes the lead in social situations?
they both are the ‘HAHA! THE ECONOMY!’ gif tbh.
Who gets jealous easier?
cass. steph is special cargo, the first girl / person she ever loved romantically, the first friend she ever had. however, cass has made it very publically known she wants threesomes with other hotties of multiple genders.
Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear?
CASS CASS CASS.
LOVE
Who said “I love you” first?
steph, and she agonized over it, only for cass to say it so easily in a way cass didn’t think it would ever be easy for her to say. like steph is some magical fairy tale princess that lifts the curse on cass to never be able to express love the way love is supposed to be expressed. steph just makes things easy. she makes everything easy.
What are their primary love languages?
TOUCH. GAMES. QUALITY TIME. GIFTS.
Who uses cheesy pick-up lines?
they both do they’re TERRIBLE.
How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?
batgirl and the black bat are forced on seperate patrols bc they do this so much and they HATE it and SNEAK OUT and kiss ANYWAY!
Who initiates kisses?
cass!
Who’s the big and little spoon?
cass is big spoon!
What are their favorite things to do together?
they really like watching wrestling and kung fu movies together i think. steph also likes girly movies, but cass gets bored after a while and just starts wrestling with her over the popcorn and then wrestling leads to hankypanky. most of all they love fighting and dancing AND PLAYING PRANKS on the bat boys.
Who’s better at comforting the other?
cass is.
Who’s more protective?
CASS IS.
Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?
physical affection.
What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?
jenny - studio killers
What kind of nicknames do they call each other?
they both call each other batgirl affectionately, cass also learns new words to say girlfriend and sweetie all the time and uses those.
Who remembers the little things?
STEPH.
DOMESTIC LIFE
If they get married, who proposes?
they COMPETE to see who will do it first. they use the batcave to make sure the other isnt going to look for rings. and when they find the other one shopping for rings. its fucking GO-TIME BITCH. you’re not going to propose to me, i’m going to propose to you! when they pop out the boxes at the exact same time, cass steals the ring from steph’s hands and holds it up over her head and throws hers at steph’s head like ‘YOU HAVE TO MARRY ME FIRST. NO TAKEBACKSIES.’
What’s the wedding like? Who attends?
it’s a big wedding. cass loves, loves people. it’s a whos-who, especially since cass is gonna be batman and she has all the justice league contacts now. cass turns a bit into a bridezila, but like, as a joke, mostly, and she calms down when steph is like ‘i thought we could be more intimate...’ lol
How many kids do they have, if any? What are they like?
they adopt some bratty street kids that are tangentially related to joker / black mask / puzzler / lady shiva as a fuck you. they love their kids so much.
Do they have any pets?
so many cats. a million cats.
Who’s the stricter parent?
cass.
Who worries the most?
steph.
Who kills the bugs in the house?
cass.
How do they celebrate holidays?
they go to concerts!!!! big loud concerts where they can mosh!!!
Who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?
cass! no school! just cuddles!
Who’s the better cook?
steph. cass doesn’t know how to, and also refuses to, fry an egg.
Who likes to dance?
cass most of all!
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keisdove · 10 months ago
Text
butterflies
co-written with @whoseblogsthis
genre(s): angst, drama
fandom: miraculous ladybug
warning(s): language, violence, unedited kind of,,,
word count: 1.9k
a/n: anddd we’re back on our bullshit🥳 tbh @whoseblogsthis and i completely finessed this chapter, i’m so proud of it sooo i hope you guys like it too <3
chapter one || chapter 3
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The two heroes started in. Neither of them was looking forward to this, knowing the outcome would arrive after cuts and bruises, yet Ladybug lunged toward the threat without hesitation. Within seconds of her pursuit, her path was blocked by a pillar of rock bursting from the ground.
“What the hell?” she said to herself as dust was rising in billows around her. “Chat, be careful,” she shouted across the way, “she had some kind of rock manipulation.”
Chat leaped across the expanse, claws outstretched toward Gi Magissa, ready to pounce. He didn’t see it coming, the tree in the background coming to life before a branch swung out and wrapped around his ankles, effectively pulling him back. The branches stretched out fast, unpredictably, like it had a mind of its own.
Suddenly, white-hot-searing pain ripped through his side like a scalding knife. Chat cried out loudly, his scream causing Ladybug to whip her head in his direction. His body went limp for a moment as the tree’s tentacle-like branches moved around him.
 Ladybug’s chest tightened, her thoughts muddled by blind panic. No, no no no no, her thoughts screamed at her. She held her breath, her body frozen in time as she waited for him to shift, to move, to do anything.
“You’re nothing without your counterpart Ladybug. You’re weak.” Gi Magissa hissed out in an almost snakelike way. Her words coiled around Ladybug and threatened to squeeze the life out of her.
The heroine knew she was trying to distract her from helping Chat, her words attempting to create hopelessness and doubt as she screamed for her partner to surface.
“I thought she controlled rocks?” Chat exclaimed breathlessly, his body struggling against the thin bark around his ankles as he seemed to come to life. Ladybug exhaled, her lungs screaming for oxygen. She knew that she lost time by waiting for her partner. She couldn’t freeze like that again, she couldn’t afford to. Ladybug prided herself in rarely letting her emotions get the better of her in battle, but this had thrown her.
Get yourself together LB, you have a job to do.
It was when Ladybug swung at Gi Magissa once again and the tree went lifeless, releasing Chat Noir who let out a sharp yelp before quickly leaping to his feet, that she realized two things. One, the villain must have the ability to manipulate the earth. But two, this could be important, she could only control one thing at a time. If she was busy worrying about holding off Ladybug, she couldn’t worry about Chat and vice versa.
This was the opening they needed to get in their hits.
“Chat, let’s go with the old one-two, yeah?” she shouted at him. She knew that he would know what she meant without having to verbalize it. They needed to get to her without voicing their plans, or she’d just be one step ahead.
Gi Magissa was fast and they both found that out the hard way. Even though it was only early on in the fight, they couldn’t afford any more slip-ups like that. Granted, they were only just figuring out her power, but Chat was already wounded, and the way he was cradling his side made her think it was worse than he let on.
They needed to hurry. At that moment was all or nothing. Ladybug and Chat went at her with everything they had, getting in close to her in order to avoid any surprises from far away.
Ladybug’s yoyo was virtually useless at that point due to her proximity to Magissa, so she had to rely on her hand-to-hand experience. She went at her from the left, kicking out her leg to hit her head. She evaded the attack easily as if she saw it coming from a mile away, sending a spray of knife-like stones at Ladybug.
Despite her attempts to dodge the rocks, one stray spike grazed her side. She cried out, her suit now torn as blood spilt on the sidewalk. Her body lurched back and hit the ground harshly. Though her yoyo was already thrown out in front of her, she didn’t have nearly enough time to brace herself as a sharp piece of earth hit from behind. She felt like a rag doll being thrown around from side to side with nothing for her to fall back onto as a safety net.
Her vision was going blurry, her voice too ragged to call out to her partner. Turning her head to the side, she squinted through the dust as she tried to catch a glimpse of Chat Noir. Though he was doing better than she was, her counterpart was struggling.
Get up Marinette, you can do this, she told herself as she gritted her teeth. Tears of pain were streaking down the sides of her face, washing away a line of dirt from the side of her cheek.
She needed to get up. She had to get up.
Ladybug went for Gi Mágissa again, a vine suddenly emerging from a crack in the sidewalk. She knew he didn’t catch it slithering across the asphalt toward him until his legs were pulled out from under him. She watched helplessly as his head hit the ground once again. He felt like he was going to vomit from the throbbing of his head, nearly seeing stars in the middle of the day..
“Chat!” Ladybug screeched. Shit shit shit shit.
Despite the hit he took, her partner willed himself back up. He darted at the akumatized who, fortunately for the two heroes, didn’t seem to notice Chat until he had wrapped his legs around her front with his chest to her back. His one arm wrapped tightly yet not too roughly around her neck in hopes of losing consciousness rather than something fatal.
Ladybug reached for the villain’s staff, made of something like tree bark, and snapped it in half over her knee.
No Akuma.
Her eyes widened in surprise, nearly crying out of frustration. This had draChat was grabbed then and thrown back by the same vine that tripped Ladybug.
Normally, their suits usually kept them from sustaining any terrible physical injuries, Ladybug knew when she detransformed, the damage would only be worse; bruises to tend to as soon as she arrived back at her home. And from his encounter with the tree, she was sure Chat’s civilian self was not going to be much better off.
It seemed like it took a hundred tries to find where this villain’s Akuma was. This one definitely wasn’t from Francoise Dupont High School, nor were they someone neither Ladybug nor Cat Noir knew in their civilian form.
Ladybug called upon her lucky charm and using her keen observation skills, finally, they located the Akuma, an unsuspecting pine-coloured fanny pack around her slim waist.
She almost laughed at the absurdity of the situation, their bruises and gashes feeling stupid after having to go through their worst battle just to take a fanny pack.
The red superhero went over to her partner, quickly informing him of her plan.
“Cataclysm!” Chat called out, before running at the earth enchantress once again.
He was careful not to touch anything, simultaneously bracing himself for the inevitable– a rock or a stone or a vine or a tree– to stop him. Once he had completely taken Gi Mágissa’s attention, Ladybug leapt into action, ripping the fannypack from the akumatized’s waist.
Ladybug threw it to Chat, who cataclysmed the bag. The unsuspecting Akuma flew out, its dark wings flapping in the rain. Ladybug swung her yo-yo, captured and released the butterfly, and flung her lucky charm in the air, undoing the damage done to Paris by Gi Mágissa.
“Your earrings,” Chat noted just as said miraculous gave a loud blip. “I’ll help her.”
Just then, his ring beeped steadily.
“I’ll be- I’ll be okay,” the de-akumatized young woman told the superheroes. “I- yeah, I need to find my mom.”
“You sure?” Ladybug questioned. Her anxiety was building in her as the beeping became even more insistent, her throat tightening in worry.
“Yeah, I’ll be okay.”
Ladybug gave a firm nod before swinging her yo-yo at a traffic light. She threw across the rooftops of Paris for a few short moments before she found an alley right behind a restaurant that seemed to be experiencing slow business.
Before she could even take a break, she heard the thump of footsteps. he looked up to find Cat Noir with his eyes wide.
Before either of them could process what was happening, before either of them even had time to get away from the other, the flash of red and green lit up the damp, dingy alley. Their kwamis emerged from their miraculous, tired and worn out.
The miraculous holder's jaws went slack in shock, the sight in front of the impossible.
It came out as breath, hardly even air as they said the word at the same time.
“You."
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elriell · a year ago
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Book Rec’s
Going to try and add a lot of less known books that are amazing and not enough people talk about, this would be too long if I talked about each one in depth, so I am going to leave my fav quotes as that tends to give me a feel for books and whether I will like them and I will link the GR page for more info! Happy reading:)
Fantasy Vibes
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From Blood And Ash by Jennifer L Armentrout    (CLICK THIS TOO)
“Death is like an old friend who pays a visit, sometimes when it’s least expected and other times when you’re waiting for her. It’s neither the first nor the last time she’ll pay a visit, but that doesn’t make any death less harsh or unforgiving.”
“Fear and bravery are often one and the same. It either makes you a warrior or a coward. The only difference is the person it resides inside.”
 “You're an absolutely stunning, murderous little creature.”
Storm And Fury by Jennifer L Armentrout
“What are you going to do if it does get worse?” he asked. “Maybe I’ll get myself a seeing-eye gargoyle.”
(HONESTLY BADASS GARGOYLES. SO UNIQUE AND AWESOME)
Demons At Deadnight by A&E Kirk   
“I launched into a graceful ninja-like front roll, then stood my ground to face the monstrous heathen, fearless in my determination to vanquish the deadly foe.
Nah, just kidding. I bolted, discretion being the better part of not getting dead.”
“We are killers,” Matthias said. Bad news. 
“Not girls. We don’t kill girls.” Good news. 
“She’s no girl.” Insulting news? 
“What? Of course she’s a girl.”
 “Want me to check?” 
“Shut up, Blake,” the rest of them chorused.”
The Cruel Prince by Holly Black   
“If I cannot be better than them, I will become so much worse.”
“If you hurt me, I wouldn't cry. I would hurt you back.”
“I am going to keep on defying you. I am going to shame you with my defiance. You remind me that I am a mere mortal and you are a prince of Faerie. Well, let me remind you that means you have much to lose and I have nothing. You may win in the end, you may ensorcell me and hurt me and humiliate me, but I will make sure you lose everything I can take from you on the way down. I promise you this is the least of what I can do.”
MM Romance
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Him by Sabrina Bowen & Elle Kennedy
“Our mouths fit together so perfectly. Every time we kiss, I fall even more in love with him, and it has nothing to do with sex or lust. It's him. His closeness and his scent and the way he soothes me.”
“I…” He clears his throat. “I’d let you do it, though.” My hand freezes in his hair. “You would?” Wes nods. “I’d let you do anything to me, Canning.”
Misfits by Garrett Leigh (Poly romance, its just so perfect ala herongraystairs!)
“Learn something. Read a book. Explore someone. Anger is just a hole where your life could be.”
In The Absence Of Light by Adrienne Wilder
“The light is a funny thing, Grant. We think it shows us what we need to see, but in reality, it blinds us. That’s why I brought you here. I wanted you to see me.”
“Morgan may be autistic, but he is a normal man with a mental condition, not a mental condition who is a man.”
HOneStly JUST READ IT
The Foxhole Court by Nora Sakavic
“It’s not the world that’s cruel. It’s the people in it.”
“I'm not a math problem." "But I'll still solve you."
“Is your learning curve a horizontal line?”
“Who said 'please' that made you hate the word so much?"  Andrew gazed at him in silence for a minute. "I did.”
“I didn't think I was a personal problem. You hate me, remember?" "Every inch of you," Andrew said. "That doesn't mean I wouldn't blow you." 
EVERY QOUTE IS ICONIC TBH 
Vampires, Angels & Greek Mythology
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Bloodlines by Michelle Read
“The greatest changes in history have come when people were able to shake off what others told them to do.”
“Takes a lot of tries before you hit perfection." He paused to reconsider that. "Well, except for my parents. They got it on the first try."
“No, thank you," said Adrian. "These hands don't sully themselves with fighting.”
“Everything's about my personal entertainment. The world is my stage. Keep it up- you're becoming a star performer in the show.”
Angels Blood by Nalini Singh
“Some things were worth the dance with danger.”
“You do realize this makes your wings even more unique." "Are you saying you shot me as a cosmetic procedure?”
“You ask a lot of questions for a dead woman.” “What can I say? I prefer to die well-informed.”
“You don't fear me," he said now. She wasn't stupid enough to lie. "I'm petrified. But I figure you didn't make me come all this way just so you could push me off the roof.”
Dark Lover by J.R Ward (warning OTT vamps if thats not your jazz either skip)
“Some bridges you crossed on your own, no matter who drove you to the edge”
“Vengeance was one hell of a roommate.”
Half-Blood by Jennifer L Armentrout
“Two people see each other across a room or their skin brushes. Their souls recognize the person as their own. It doesn’t need time to figure it. The soul always knows… whether it’s right or wrong.”
“It’s just words and words mean nothing. Only action does.”
“People do the damndest things when they’re in love.”
“There is a difference between love and need. Sometimes, what you feel is immediate and without rhyme or reason.”
Assasin-y Goodness
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Grave Mercy by Robin LaFevers
“When one consorts with assassins, one must expect to dance along the edge of a knife once or twice.”
“I comfort myself with the knowledge that if Duval ever feels smothered by me, it will be because I am holding a pillow over his face.”
“Surely He does not give us hearts so we may spend our lives ignoring them.”
“There is no shame in scars, Ismae.”
Daughter Of The Pirate King by Tricia Levenseller
“I am me because I choose to be me. I am what I want. Some people say you have to find yourself. Not I. I believe we create ourselves to be what we want.”
“Lass, you've the face of an angel but the tongue of a snake.”
“Everyone has something dark in their past. I suppose it's our job to overcome it. And if we can’t overcome it, then all we can do is make the most of it.”
“Waiting. Not waiting. One lover. A hundred lovers. There should be no judgement either way. A woman is not defined by what she does or doesn‘t do in the bedroom.”
“Even a man who’s spent his whole life at sea has reason to fear her when she’s angry. But not I. I sleep soundly. Listening to her music. The sea watches over me. She protects her own.”
Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo
“No mourners. No funerals. Among them, it passed for 'good luck.”
“It's not natural for women to fight." "It's not natural for someone to be as stupid as he is tall, and yet there you stand.”
“I will have you without armor, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all.
“The heart is an arrow. It demands aim to land true.”
“Kaz leaned back. "What's the easiest way to steal a man's wallet?" "Knife to the throat?" asked Inej. "Gun to the back?" said Jesper. "Poison in his cup?" suggested Nina. "You're all horrible," said Matthias.”
The Kiss of Deception by Mary E. Pearson
“It can take years to mold a dream. It takes only a fraction of a second for it to be shattered.”
“Taking another life, she had whispered, even a guilty one, should never be easy. If it were, we'd be little more than animals.”
“Maybe there was no one way to define it. Maybe there were as many shades of love as the blues of the sky,”
“We all have our different skills. You’re patient to a fault, which sometimes doesn’t work to your advantage. I, on the other hand, have the patience of a wet cat. Only on rare occasions does that come in handy.”
“Maybe there were a hundred different ways to fall in love.”
Circus Vibes
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Caraval by Stephanie Garber
“Every person has the power to change their fate if they are brave enough to fight for what they desire more than anything.”
“She imagined loving him would feel like falling in love with darkness, frightening and consuming yet utterly beautiful when the stars came out.”
“Some things are worth pursuit regardless of the cost.”
The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern
“You may tell a tale that takes up residence in someone's soul, becomes their blood and self and purpose. That tale will move them and drive them and who knows that they might do because of it, because of your words. That is your role, your gift.”
“Secrets have power. And that power diminishes when they are shared, so they are best kept and kept well. Sharing secrets, real secrets, important ones, with even one other person, will change them. Writing them down is worse, because who can tell how many eyes might see them inscribed on paper, no matter how careful you might be with it. So it's really best to keep your secrets when you have them, for their own good, as well as yours.”
Six of Hearts by L.H Cosway
“Note to self: Never try to out-trick a trickster.”
“So why not live with the magic? Be a kid again and believe in the fantastical. Life is more fun with a little smoke and mirrors.”
“We all have thoughts that we would never, ever vocalise. And people who say they don’t are liars.”
“I once read that people who have imaginary friends never reach out to touch them. There’s some part of their brain that subconsciously knows it will break the spell. That’s what it feels like with Jay.”
Amour Amour by Krista & Becca Richie
“We all traverse in and out of people’s worlds, leaving footprints. Some larger, some smaller, but there is always a mark. We can’t sweep it away.”
“Life is a rollercoaster with no volunteers. We’re all forced to take a seat and ride it out.
“I’m average. I’ve been average most of my life, but there are moments where I feel extraordinary. Invincible. Able to conquer any fear and step outside any box. There is no illusion, no fantasy. I can climb a forty-foot pole. I can fly eighty-feet in the air. I can be taller than tall. It’s a dream that I’m living. Every day. With him.”
More M/M Romance
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The Song Of Achilles by Madeline Miller
“I could recognize him by touch alone, by smell; I would know him blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. I would know him in death, at the end of the world.”
“And perhaps it is the greater grief, after all, to be left on earth when another is gone.”
“He is a weapon, a killer. Do not forget it. You can use a spear as a walking stick, but that will not change its nature.”
“He is half of my soul, as the poets say.”
Axel’s Pup by Kim Dare  (Shifter Romance & BDSM FYI if thats not your jazz)
"I want to screw you, and tie you up, and make you writhe from-you know all that. But I want so much more. I want the whole thing, not just a quick scene. I want twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. I want you to be mine. I won't take anything less."
Aristotle And Dante Discover The Secrets Of The Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz
“In your dream. You were looking for me.""I'm always looking for you," 
“He was funny and focused and fierce. I mean the guy could be fierce. And there wasn’t anything mean about him. I didn’t understand how you could live in a mean world and not have any of that meanness rub off on you.”
“He looked like an angel. And all I wanted to do was put my fist through his jaw. I couldn't stand my own cruelty.”
“One of the secrets of the universe was that our instincts were sometimes stronger than our minds. Another secret of the universe: Sometimes pain was like a storm that came out of nowhere.”
Shattered Glass by Dani Alexander
"Tell me something good about your life," I whispered, needing to hear that he wasn't as broken as I thought him to be.[...]"You." It was so quiet I almost didn't hear it.”
“Is he my competition?” I asked. “Everyone is your competition.” Peter lifted his hand to his eyes and began lowering it incrementally. “It goes normal human beings, crazies, republicans, my hand, imaginary characters, corpses and then, in a moment of lustful psychosis, you.” By the time he was done, his hand was below the table.
Romance 
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Kiss The Sky by Krista & Becca Richie
“You’re not a pit stop. You’re my finish line. There’s no one after you.”
“People hope to touch the sky. I dream of kissing it.”
“I love the way he’s staring at me. It makes me feel more than just beautiful. I feel like I’m his. Like no one else could possibly compare to me. He doesn’t even have to say the words. I see it in his eyes. I can practically read it in his mind.”
“I’ve wanted so many things in life,” he says softly, “but you’re the one that has meant the most to me.”
Translation: I love you.”
Wallbanger by Alice Clayton
“You know those moments when everything is exactly the way it was meant to be? When you find yourself and your entire universe aligning in perfect synchronization, and you know you couldn’t possibly be more content? I was inside that very moment, and fully conscious of it.”
“The right woman for you wouldn't want you to change anything about your life. She wouldn't rock your boat, she'd jump right in and sail it with you.”
“It breaks my heart the way young girls pick themselves over, never thinking they're good enough. You make sure you always remember, you're exactly the way you're supposed to be. Exactly. And anyone who says otherwise, well, poppycock.”
Ugly Love by Colleen Hoover
“Ugly love becomes you. Consumes you. Makes you hate it all. Makes you realize that all the beautiful parts aren't even worth it. Without the beautiful, you'll never risk feeling the ugly. So you give it all up. You give it all up. You never want love again, no matter what kind it is, because no type of love will ever be worth living through the ugly love again.”
“Some people they grow wiser as they grow older. Unfortunately, most people just grow older.”
“Sometimes the spirit of a man isn't strong enough to survive the ghosts of his past”
“My grandfather used to say the placement of a birthmark was the story of how a person lost the battle in their past life. I guess you got stabbed in the neck. Bet it was a quick death, though.”
On Dublin Street by Samantha Young
“Gentlemen are gentlemen in bed. They make sure you're having a good time." "I'll make sure you're having a good time, and that you're okay with everything. I just won't be well mannered about it.”
“In truth it’s difficult to describe a broken heart.”
“Sometimes words aren’t needed for you to know a change has come upon you.”
Romance Series
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Paper Princess by Erin Watt
“My skill, if I have one, isn’t dancing. It’s my ability to believe that tomorrow can be a better day.”
“My life is mine. I live it. I control it.”
“but a clean knife still makes a painful wound.”
“Fate is for the weak--those people who don't have enough power or will to shape life into what they need it to be.”
Foreplay by Sophie Jordan
“I’m not going to lie to you and convince you that I’m someone good and shiny like your guy that’s going to be a doctor.”
“You can’t even see it. I’m the safest thing you’ll ever find”
“That's what I wanted. Something to enrich me, to make me feel better about the things in my life that I could never change."
Wait for You by J.Lynn.  (AKA Jennifer L Armentrout) 
“You are really…” “Amazing? Awesome?” He paused, brows raised. “Astonishing?” “I was going to go with bizarre.” “Well, hell, if I had feelings that might actually hurt.”
“As long as the sun’s shining, shit can’t be that bad.”
The Deal by Elle Kennedy
“Sometimes people sneak up on you and suddenly you don’t know how you ever lived without them.”
“I want to murder him in his sleep, A. No, I want to murder him when he’s awake so he can see the joy on my face when I do it.”
“And the most important lesson I learned is that I’m not a victim—I’m a survivor.”
Romance w/ Epic Plots
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The Unbecoming Of Mara Dyer by Michelle Hodkin
“This was the boy I loved. A little bit messy. A little bit ruined. A beautiful disaster. Just like me.”
“You could start a fire with the heat between you two.""You're mistaking bitter animosity for heartfelt affection.”
“You're supposed to say, 'All I want is your happiness. I'll do whatever it takes, even if it means being without you.'""Sorry," Noah said. "I'm just not that big of a person.”
“I’ll walk forever with stories inside me that the people I love the most can never hear.”
“We are far too screwed up for a goddamned love triangle.”
“You will love him to ruins.”
The Winners Curse by Marie Rutkoski
“He knew the law of such things: people in brightly lit places cannot see into the dark.”
“Isn’t that what stories do, make real things fake, and fake things real?”
“The Winner’s Curse is when you come out on top of the bid, but only by paying a steep price.”
“The god of lies must love you, you see things so clearly.”
Obsidian by Jennifer L Armentrout (are you getting the idea I love everything she writes? because I do!)
“I've always found that the most beautiful people, truly beautiful inside and out, are the ones who are quietly unaware of their effect."
“More books." His eyes went wide. "You have, like, them books you just said you haven't read." "Doesn't mean I won't get more books."
Angelfall by Susan Ee
“I never thought about it before, but I'm proud to be human. We're ever so flawed. We're frail, confused, violent, and we struggle with so many issues. But all in all, I'm proud to be a Daughter of Man.”
“Sometimes, as we're stumbling along in the dark, we hit something good.”
“I knew from the start that your loyalty would get you killed. I just never thought it would be your loyalty to me that would do it.”
Unique Reads
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Dont Look Back by Jennifer L Armentrout
“I was stuck in a life I didn't remember, squeezed into the shell of this girl - this Samantha Joe Franco - and the more I learned about her, the more I was starting to hate her.”
“Things aren’t perfect. They are far, far from it,but they are getting there, and I wasn’t looking back. Not when there were so many good things in the future.”
Verity by Colleen Hoover
“I wasn’t heroic. I wasn’t simple. I was difficult. An emotionally challenging puzzle he wasn’t up for solving.”
“A writer should never have the audacity to write about themselves unless they’re willing to separate every layer of protection between the author’s soul and their book. The words should come directly from the center of the gut, tearing through flesh and bone as they break free. Ugly and honest and bloody and a little bit terrifying, but completely exposed.”
“No one is likable from the inside out.”
“Find what you love and let it kill you.”
Painted Faces by L.H Cosway
“We all paint on a face to show the world," Nicholas replies philosophically. "For some of us, that's quite literal.”
“I love him because he makes me laugh when I don't feel like laughing. I love him because he challenges my view of what a man is. I love him because I know I shouldn't love him and that he'll break my heart. I love him because he's a complete and total anomaly. I love him because I want to kill the sadness inside him more than I want anything else in the world.”
“You saw me, changed my life, made it better, and I’m completely fucking in love with you.”
Sorcery of Thorns by Margret Rogerson
“It was always wise to be polite to books, whether or not they could hear you.”
“Knowledge always has the potential to be dangerous. It is a more powerful weapon than any sword or spell.”
“When terrible things have happened to you, sometimes the promise of something good can be just as frightening.”
“You belonged in the library, as much as any book.”
“You unmanageable, contrary creature. You have made me believe in something at last. It feels as wretched as I imagined.”
Obviously not every book is going to suit everyone, everyone has pet peeves, and things that they won’t enjoy but hopefully this gives you some variety and I personally loved them all at some point! Pls feel free to come to my ask/chats to discuss any of them  that would make me so happy <3 this took 4 hours damn
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treh-co · a year ago
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FAHC Headcanons
So I feel like a good amount of my hcs are a lot different than other people’s??? And I’ve done a LOT of thinking abt them so! Here’s kind of like a masterlist of my general hcs! I’m just gonna go through this person-by-person.
(This got Kinda Long, so it’s under a read more. Sorry mobile users,)
Geoff
Obviously, he’s the one who started The Fakes. Basically, he went into the military after high school, came back and was like “Damn. Hated that” and then some old friends are like “Hey wanna do crime” and he was like “Fuck it”. That ended up being the beginning of The Roosters, which would grow to become the most powerful crime syndicate in Los Santos.
However, when they started shifting more towards managing the organizations they controlled, Geoff felt like he was missing the hands-on action. With the others’ blessing, he branched out to create his own gang under the syndicate, which would be the Fakes.
Geoff was the acting boss, supervisor, and manager of the Fakes for many years, while still juggling responsibilities with the Roosters. After a while, he felt the stress of it all begin to weigh on him, so he decided to pass some of it off. He made Trevor the acting supervisor of the crew’s regular business, while he handed management of behind-the-scenes matters to Lindsay. He’s still technically the boss, though, and any Big decisions go through him.
Jack
Jack actually met Geoff when they were in the military together. While he was a journalist, she was a pilot, and while she’d always been a sort of straight-laced, innocent kid growing up, she discovered that she actually loved flying. More than that, she loved the excitement of a chase or a gunfight. When she got back, she found herself bored.
That was around when Geoff called her up with an offer- one that not only allowed her to get back in the cockpit, but promised twice the action way more money than she ever got in the military. Of course, she said yes.
Jack’s main role in the crew is transport and evac. She can fly or drive anything, from a city bus to speedboat to a cargobob. Unofficially, she’s a sort of second-in-command for Geoff. He usually discusses any business stuff with her before making decisions. She’s also probably the most capable medic in the main crew, though she’s not an expert, and will pass off the responsibility if they have access to someone more formally trained.
Gavin
I imagine Gavin comes from a criminal family. Nothing exciting; standard white-collar stuff, embezzlement and fraud. They were substantially wealthy from their exploits and sent him to private school and all that, but Gavin found it all horribly boring. By the time he reached high school, he was experimenting with every type of low-level crime he could think of; theft and vandalism, all that shit.
Eventually, his habit of making enemies got him in over his head, and eventually he found himself in serious hot water. Out of options, he forged some papers and got a flight out of Britain. He’d far from learnt his lesson, though. He didn’t plan on cleaning up his act, and he decided to hide in plain sight, in the most crime-infested city America had to offer- Los Santos.
That was where he met Geoff. He was working odd jobs around the city, still new to America (and, though he’d never admit it, pretty lost and scared- he’s only sixteen). He gets hired by some asshole to take out Geoff, and he isn’t familiar enough with the scene to know better, so he goes for it. When Geoff has the knife out of his hands and a gun pointed at his head in less than two seconds, he’s pretty sure he’s fucked- but Geoff doesn’t shoot. Because fuck, how the hell is he supposed to take out this scrawny, terrified kid? So he talks to him instead, and when he finds out that Gavin has no loyalties to the guy that hired him and has a much broader skill set than Geoff would have expected, he decides to take him in.
As for my take on The Golden Boy- I personally don’t see Gavin as a hacker, and tbh I personally Cannot picture him suave enough to be some smooth-talking informant. In my mind, he’s sort of the crew’s everyman. He does a little bit of everything- stealth, dealing, hacking, fighting- he isn’t really an expert at any of it, but if you need something done, he probably knows enough to help. 
Michael
Michael was raised in New Jersey with his brothers. His life was fairly normal, to be honest. He got a gig as an electrician, and it sucked, but he was doing okay. And then his mom got sick, and things started falling apart. Long story short, he ended up turning to more unsavory ways to get the money she needed for her treatment. He found out that he was pretty good at making bombs, and even better at cracking skulls. 
Michael only ever dipped into those practices to help his mom, but once you go in, it’s pretty hard to get out. He was running with a gang in New Jersey for a long time, until one day, their leader sold them out to the cops. He and some friends ran away to Los Santos, but still got caught, and suddenly he was locked up in a LS prison.
It was in prison that he met this guy named Gavin. After bonding through some good old fashioned prison fighting and saving each other’s asses, Gavin told him that he’s part of a powerful gang that was planning on breaking him out. He said that he needed help with the prep work they  needed done on from the inside, and if Michael helped him, they’d break him out with Gavin. Against every instinct, Michael agreed, and they broke out together. After they got out, Geoff decided to offer Michael a job- partly because he was impressed with him, and partly because Gavin wouldn’t stop whining until he did.
Michael is great for a steady gun or a good fight on missions, but his expertise is in demolitions. He’s self-taught, but he’s one of the best in the business, and he has fun with what he does.
Lindsay
Lindsay has always thrived on chaos. This presented itself more innocently in her childhood, but once she reached her teen years, it quickly spiraled into something more dangerous. She was always looking for something more risky, more exciting. Speeding, then shoplifting, then vandalism; it was never enough.
That being said, it shouldn’t have been that big of a surprise when some friends easily talked her into her first burglary. From then on, it was an easy slide into the more serious world of crime. She was a gun for hire by twenty, had long left her well-meaning parents behind, travelling with no real goal and making both allies and enemies everywhere she went.
When she cropped up in Los Santos, trailing gunfire and spray-paint cat tags where she went, Geoff knew she was meant to be one of them. He hired her for some odd jobs at first, just to make sure; but just a few looks at her style proved his theory. He offered her permanent position and she took it on a whim.
True to her role, Lindsay is the crew’s wildcard. Sort of like Gavin, except her skills are more specifically in the “fuck shit up” range.
Jeremy
Born and raised in Boston, Jeremy had a not-so-great home life and started hanging with the wrong crowds from a young age. He grew up through fistfights and car wrecks, and by the time he was grown, he didn’t really know anything else. He was actually pretty close with his gang back home. They were the ones who taught him the importance of loyalty; how important it is to have people you can trust. Nothing good lasts forever, though. When another gang- much bigger, much stronger- started picking them off, their leader made the tough choice to disband. Despite communal reluctance, she got them all set up to go underground in different parts of the country. Jeremy was sent to Los Santos.
While there, Jeremy saved a boy he saw being jumped in an alley. The boy turned out to be a hacker and information dealer named Matt. Jeremy was homeless at the time, and Matt offered to let him stay at his place as thanks. Somehow, this quickly turned into them being roommates and friends, and then partners, when they decided it would be a good idea for Jeremy to tag along on Matt’s deals for protection.
While helping Matt, Jeremy made a name for himself in underground fighting rings, known by his half-joke moniker “Rimmy Tim”. One night, a non-regular sat in to watch the fight, and afterwards approached him with an offer. The stranger was one Geoff Ramsey, and the offer was for a job with the Fakes. Jeremy happened to know who the Fakes were- and be a big fan of their work. He was nervous, but he accepted the offer, and it only took a few weeks for them to essentially pull him in.
Jeremy is, in simple terms, the crew’s muscle. He drives, he shoots, and most importantly, he can fight. If anything needs doing that involves those three things, he’s good for it.
Matt
Matt grew up in a small, boring town with a small, boring family. He filled his boredom with the digital world. Eventually, he started diving deeper; learning how to code, and then how to program, and then how to hack. By the time he was seventeen, Matt was going by the alias of “Axial” on dark-web forums, dealing information and breaking into everything from private systems to locked-down, international servers.
After turning eighteen, Matt decided he was sick of his home town and used the money he’d gained from his illegal business to disappear and move somewhere more exciting- Los Santos. After a few months of living there, he met a boy named Jeremy, who saved him from a deal gone wrong. He liked Jeremy, and it seemed like Jeremy liked him; despite the suspicions they both probably should have had in their lines of work, they became fast friends and roommates, deciding to work together.
When Jeremy got hired by the Fakes, Matt was disappointed, but resigned to the fact that he would be back on his own. Until he was pulled away from his work one night to a knock at the door, and found the Vagabond there, ready to take him to the penthouse. Apparently, the crew had been in need of a hacker for a while; and a certain new member had put in quite the good word for him.
Matt is, obviously, the crew’s hacker. He doesn’t really go on the field too much; he’ll tag along if there’s a proximity requirement on his part, or if a bunch of people are unavailable and they really need a backup driver or something, but for the most part he operates from the penthouse. He’s usually on comms during the heists to give directions or help with security or recon in real-time.
Trevor [TW: Sex work mention]
Trevor grew up in a trailer park in Blaine County, raised by a single mom. She loved him, but was involved with all the wrong people. When an altercation with an ex-boyfriend ended up deadly, fourteen-year-old Trevor up and ran as fast as he could, and ended up in the streets of Los Santos. He got by with begging and soup kitchens at first, but he started picking up tricks, on his own or from others he watched. Pickpocketing, manipulation, shoplifting; whatever he could use to get a bit of an advantage, he took.
It was just a while after he turned eighteen that a man he met outside a bar proposed he enter a different “path” of business. Trevor was reluctant, but he was also desperate, and the man made a lot of promises. He ended up spending two years as a prostitute, until one night he’d had enough. He killed the man who’d been selling him and ran once again. 
Once again faced with life on the streets, he returned to what he knew he was good at- lying and stealing. He came up with the alias of Reached, and became a thief and informant by commission, fairly well-known. He became close associates- maybe even friends, if such a thing existed in Los Santos- with another duo, Rimmy Tim and Axial. One day, they gave him a call- saying their new employers needed someone with his skills on a job. To make a long story short, when the Fakes met Trevor, he was pretty much already a part of the team.
Trevor is a thief by trade. Stealth, deception, and stealing is what he does best. He’s a master lock picker and an expert at slight of hand, and is far too good at putting on an innocent face. 
Alfredo
Alfredo was raised by a big, loving family; but people are a product of their environment. A combination of wrong place, wrong time, and peer pressure had him messing around with local gangs far before he should have even seen a gun. But Alfredo always had a knack for precision, and he had the aim of a trained vet, and he was probably a little too busy being cocky to understand the risks he was taking.
Eventually, those risks caught up with him. He was in a lot of hot water and he knew his family was in danger. He couldn’t let them get hurt on his account, so he ran to protect them. He considered turning a new leaf when he got to Los Santos, but quickly realized that if that was the plan, he’d picked the wrong place to do it. It wasn’t long before he was dragged back into work as a gun for hire.
He was good- really good, and when some hot shot rolls into the city with a sniper and skills like that, it shakes things up, and word gets around. Word even gets to some of the most powerful men in the city- including Geoff Ramsey, who decides that if this kid is really as good as he’s heard, there’s no way he’s letting him get snatched up by anybody else first. His invite to Alfredo is more short-notice than it was with the others, but he and the crew click in about two seconds flat, so it really doesn’t take a lot of convincing.
Obviously, Alfredo is their sniper. He’s a hell of a shot with any gun, and can do fine with up-close combat when he needs to, but he’s at his best when he’s giving cover from a rooftop.
Fiona
Fiona comes from one of France’s most infamous criminal organizations. Her parents run the group, and she was raised, essentially, as the heir to the business. She’s been trained since she was a child to be the best at any skill she might need. An array of languages, hand to hand combat in five forms, dozens of weapons, from blades to melee to guns- most of all, she studied deception.
There was a small problem, though. Fiona appreciated everything her family did for her- but there was also no way in hell she was just going to drag on the family business. She wanted to make a name for herself, and she wanted more than the stuffy, starch-white world they were giving her. So she ran away to America. She spent a few years travelling, testing out different paths. At one point, she ended up in long-term employment with a gang. Except she ended up hating said gang, and she wanted out.
Luck happened to be on her side. One day, she was told that they’d kidnapped two people who happened to be members of a powerful crew called the Fakes. Fiona knew the second she laid eyes on the two- a strangely similar looking pair named Trevor and Alfredo- that they were her ticket out. She made a deal with them, that she’d let them escape if they took her with them and kept her safe, and the three of them had a wild adventure that lasted about a week, and ended in the three of them strolling into the penthouse, ragged and exhausted but looking like they’d just had the time of their lives, with Trevor and Alfredo proudly declaring that Fiona was now their newest member.
Fiona is a master of disguise. She’s good at a lot of things, but putting on an act is what really sets her apart. Give her a wig and a makeup kit and she can turn herself into a new person in five minutes flat- complete with an accent and everything. She’s the go-to when the crew need undercover jobs done.
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joshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh · a year ago
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Talentless Nana episode 13? More like epic poggers Nana episode 13
You know in case anyone’s not sure what dramatic irony is since it contextualises what I say in this post a lot, dramatic irony is basically just us the audience knowing things the characters don’t. Not to fuckin assume anyone reading this is stupid but like, well if you didn’t know, now you know.
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So fuckin, like the first some amount of time this episode is actually spent on resident gigachad Michiru like, destroying Nana’s guilt over thinking she murdered her parents with facts and logic. She calls into question much of what Nana remembers about the situation and shit about general childhood guilt and just her own fuckin trust in Nana and is basically like “you didn’t kill your parents shithead, I fuckin love you, we’re tomodachi”. And dude, this got me. I cried. It’s just fucking, Michiru is the nicest girl in the entire world, and like we spend the entire show in Nana’s mind so when she’s been sus of Michiru for a while, we kinda have to side with Nana here. But nah, Michiru’s been racking her brain trying to prove to Nana that she did nothing wrong and that she’s loved no matter what and just, I can’t get over how fucking nice this girl is. And once again that dramatic irony at play! Michiru loves Nana no matter what, but does she? Michiru if you knew Nana was a murderer and she’s out to get you too, would you love her? It’s fucking, god it’s compelling as fuck.
But then fuckin! Tsuruoka calls Nana, and fuckin talks some shit, reveals that Nana’s gonna be using the pay she gets from her job to fund like teaching for orphans or something, and gets Nana to like, dismiss her feelings for Michiru. And it’s like, wow that dude has some fuckin grip on her. Dude Nana’s doing a casual walk home and the second she hears his voice, bearing in mind he can’t see her at all, she fuckin stands legs straight and together like a soldier. And fuckin, god damn I can’t imagine the abuse he put her through to where she reacts like this, to where she’s immediately convinced to throw away her feelings for Michiru. Just, poor fucking girl.
But of course Nana’s based as fuck and when she realises (read: gets told by cat fucker dude) that Michiru’s in danger, she runs off to help her anyway, because she’s fucking, she’s got a friend. Her first friend. And then there’s like, an action-y scene with some invisible knife dude, it’s fun, the real highlight is once again a big dramatic irony moment. Dude talks shit about Nana to which Michiru’s all “don’t tarnish her name” - the dramatic irony here is obvious. And then Nana shows up...
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Gets fuckin stabbed like a dumbass again, and then starts yelling shit at Michiru to get her to run away, saying that she’s a dumb dog and Nana hates whiny little victims like her and she’s been being manipulated the entire time. All of which is, technically true? But also false because we’ve got a pretty good idea of how Nana really feels about Michiru here, and that’s fuckin, shit it hurts. Like telling Michiru she was being manipulated is in and of itself manipulation - Nana’s literally manipulating Michiru so Michiru bails on Nana without feeling guilty, calling Michiru a whiny victim while preventing her from dying, telling Michiru they’re not friends while working to save her life. It’s fuckin awesome and super emotional. And then fuckin! It wraps back around in a super dramatically ironic way, cause Michiru ends up coming back to save Nana, and like she doesn’t give us some monologue about how she trusts Nana or whatever, she just saves Nana and we already know it’s because she trusts Nana, she realises Nana’s speech was fake bullshit and that they are friends! But then we the audience know that much of their relationship has been fake! Everything they’re both saying and feeling is simultaneously true and false! This is just operating on such a beautiful and well-crafted layer of dramatic irony and I love it so fucking much, this is absolutely the best character dynamic I’ve seen in, probably anything this year.
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And no! Fucking, I should have seen this coming! Chekhov’s gun - we introduced the idea that Michiru may be able to revive people, we obviously have to do that at some point. Similarly, Chekhov’s gun - we’ve established that using her powers drains her life, obviously the ultimate form of her power is what kills her. And of course, it makes no sense to have this happen to anyone other than Nana herself, Michiru’s best friend. And for Nana, Michiru is her first ever friend. And like, fuck, fuck! Man this got me to cry as well, the show brought me to tears twice in one episode. It’s just cause fuckin, everything about their relationship is so fucking compellingly crafted, again the sheer layers of dramatic irony just blow me away and it’s really fun to think about, but they’re also just so endearing as a pair of friends, and an ending like this just fuckin, hits you right where it hurts. Michiru died without ever knowing that Nana was and is a murderer. In a sense, that makes me happy. Michiru got to die without ever losing trust in her friend. But in another sense, it makes me sad. Michiru had so much confidence and trust in someone who only recently stopped wanting to kill her. And even then she still wants to kill several of the other people you know. Like, Nana is a murderer. And it hurts that Michiru never got to know that. But then once again, there’s a degree to which Nana is actually a good person, even fuckin Tsuruoka’s aforementioned charity endeavours of Nana’s, and the fact that she’s spent a lot of the show being like “yo these government dudes are fucked if they think these rando kids are gonna kill millions”. She’s an afraid little girl who had everything taken from her and then the fucking government warped her into being a cold-blooded killer but she still learned love and empathy from Michiru so is she more of a victim than a killer? It’s just, fucking. I just love it. Michiru is not an amazing character, but she is a perfect accessory for Nana. And Nana, Nana is an amazing character. God, what a fuckin show.
Maybe a bit incoherent, but whatever. Season in Review soon. I would love very much for this to get a season 2, preferably from a better studio, but tbh I’m pretty fucking tempted to read this manga because like, shit that was pretty fucking gripping. Cool time.
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chuckhansen · a year ago
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character study
tagged by @simonxriley, ty megan! 💕
tagging @queennymeria, @denerims, @solasan, @tommymillers, @kiryukazumas, @jennystahl​, @noonvvraith​, @myrcella​, @tomexraider​, @pheedraws​, @countessrooster​, @starsandskies​, @faithchel​, @ariestals​
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Layer 01: The Outside
Name: Rian Mccormick
Eye Color: dark brown
Hair Style/Color: black; style varies depending on the season. in the winters it’s kept a little longer in the back and sides, but, it’s manageable. during the spring/summer months the back and the sides are cut short. 
Height: 6.2″
Clothing Style: pretty much anything he can get his hands on, choices are pretty slim. most of the time it’s jeans, a thermal or henley (especially during the colder months), and during the warmer months a jacket that he can dispose of when needed paired with a t shirt and a pair of boots. 
Best Physical Feature: his hands....
Layer 02: The Inside
Fear: clickers, losing his family, spiders, 
Guilty Pleasures: "dancing” (no rhythm), being sappy and sitting on his back porch with cujo’s head in his lap while he watches the sunrise, getting on joel’s nerves, bragging about his kids
Biggest Pet-peeve: tommy, cujo barking at nothing during the ungodly hours of the morning, mari telling people they aren’t married, other people’s kids, horse shit
Ambitions For The Future: to live out his life with his wife and two kids by his side and to be able to see them grow into adulthood. 
Layer 03: Thoughts
First Thought Waking Up: fuck....already? (before kids), it’s too quiet... (after kids)
What They Think About Most: what he’s had to go though in order to get where he is now, his kids and mari (24/7....the corn), getting his laz e boy back from joel
What They Think About Right Before Bed: how did i get so lucky?
What They Think Their Good Quality Is: his resilience 
Layer 04: Either Or
Single or Group Dates: single, that’s mari time
To Be Loved or Respected: respected 
Beauty or Brains: brain (post outbreak....no reason to be vain anymore) 
Dogs or Cats: dogs
Layer 05: Do They
Lie: far too often...
Believe In Themselves: it’s so/so! some days are better than others
Believe In Love: didn’t used to until he met mari.
Want Someone: he’s already got miss mari :^)
Layer 06: Have They
Been On Stage: yes; speeches for school, class and awards ceremonies ect. 
Done Drugs: he dabbled in it from time to time, he was young and rich (pre outbreak) 
Changed Who They Were To Fit In: despite acting like he wasn’t putting on a facade, staying on top of his game was his priority so he could keep in line with the persona his family name holds. 
Layer 07: What’s Their
Favorite Color: black, and really muted coral 
Favorite Animal: dogs
Favorite Book: lord of the flies (probably the only book he’s ever read tbh...) 
Favorite Game: baseball and monopoly 
Layer 08: Age
Day Their Next Birthday Will Be: april 20
How Old Will They Be: 49
Layer 09: I...
I Love: mari, his kids (ally and skylar), cujo, mostly everyone in jackson (aside from tommy) 
I Feel: truly happy and content for the first time in my life
I Hide: the fact that i’m insecure about a lot of things and doubt myself often
I Miss: baseball and fast food.... and joel
I Wish: tommy would realize he and mari are never getting back together 
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Layer 01: The Outside
Name: ami mccormick
Eye Color: hazel
Hair Style/Color: black, cut shoulder length, though, so strands are much longer than other since she...tried to cut it on her own with a knife. she tries to pull some of it back into a pony when out in the shit
Height: 5′5″
Clothing Style: anything she can find! most of the time it’s a dirtied tank top with a plaid or plain shirt over top of it that she can take on and off as she pleases
Best Physical Feature: her eyes
Layer 02: The Inside
Fear: newts, runners, her own two feelings
Guilty Pleasure: hanging out at the mc’s clubhouse (only to see kiki tho), killing rippers and anyone else that gets on her nerves, ripping off settlements 
Biggest Pet-peeve: other people, noah, kiki trying to throw the “L” word around
Ambitions For The Future: to kill every single last ripper in the shit
Layer 03: Thoughts
First Thought Waking Up: fuck me
What They Think About Most: kiki and whether not she really likes him or if she wants to keep trying to kill him for funsies, the daughter she lost track of, when she’s going to kill her next ripper or five
What They Think About Right Before Bed: nothing, her heads empty by the time she she’s finally able to clock out for a little bit
What They Think Their Good Quality Is: LMAO NONE (idk...fearless perhaps...) 
Layer 04: Either Or
Single or Group Dates: single
To Be Loved or Respected: RESPECTED (with a lil side of the “L” word from certain ppl)
Beauty or Brains: brains 
Dogs or Cats: dogs
Layer 05: Do They
Lie: every damn day
Believe In Themselves: uh yeah, she’s the greatest 
Believe In Love: ...... ask her about it later
Want Someone: well, yeah, but she’s not gonna tell him that
Layer 06: Have They
Been On Stage: yes! basic school related things and for a talent show in HS (she lost that one...) 
Done Drugs: like once or twice
Changed Who They Were To Fit In: no, people had to mod themselves in order to be in her presence 
Layer 07: What’s Their
Favorite Color: blood red 🙄
Favorite Animal: deer
Favorite Book: ami does’t have time to read
Favorite Game: hide and seek :)
Layer 08: Age
Day Their Next Birthday Will Be: april 20
How Old Will They Be: 33
Layer 09: I...
I Love: killing people, rippers especially. and kiki, i guess....and our daughter audrey
I Feel: absolutely nothing...ok well maybe a little wanted and valued for the first time in my life 
I Hide: i’m not hiding anything
I Miss: iced coffee, rachel, getting a full nights rest 
I Wish: people would leave me alone....
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excvlsior · a year ago
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about: *leo fowler.
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basics.
full name: leopold kristoff fowler meaning of name: leopold = ‘people’ & ‘bold’, kristoff = ‘bearing christ’ nickname: leo, tadpole by some family members age: 23 date of birth: november 12, 1996 hometown: tallahassee, florida nationality: american ethnicity: dutch gender: demiboy sexuality: pansexual spoken languages: dutch, english profession: in lovell he’s a part time student and works at fowler’s flowers, but just the latter in st. louis
appearance.
height: 6′2″ eye colour: blue hair colour: auburn??? i feel like that’s the version of if someone had strawberry blond hair bt . strawberry brown instead??? idk it’s reddy-brown voice: pretty deep, surprisingly smooth jst feel like he has the personality of someone with a rougher voice bt . alas...... obnoxiously thick southern accent tattoos: c’est la vie on his ribcage, kristoff on his hip, ‘x’ on the inside of his middle finger done in shitty stick and poke, ‘L’ done in stick and poke on the side of his wrist, heart with a knife through it on his chest, tattoo inside his lip that says ‘pussy master’* :pensive:, ‘ouch’ on the bottom of both soles of his feet*, a hand giving the middle finger on the back of his left calf, dolly parton’s signature on the top of his thigh from when he got it at one of her concerts, a smiley face on his ass* >_>, a melting popsicle on the back of his right bicep*, ghost face mask on his right shin; * = he did them on a dare LKHSDGKLHLSDG piercings: lobes, right cartilage, industrial bar in his left ear, nostril, had an eyebrow and lip piercing when he was younger clothing style: pretty dishevelled and purposely ill prepared outfits, sometimes u can catch him in just plaid and khakis but more often than not he’s in something weird, his prized possession is a leopard print shirt that has a heart in the center, steals clothes from his aunt and uncle when he has nothing clean/can’t bother finding anything, been seen in marj’s skirts and leggings bc of this, and then on the other hand he’ll wear like a lime green tank top with a monster baseball cap worn sideways his style is just carefree and eclectic
health.
physical ailments: n/a neurological conditions: bipolar i disorder allergies: n/a sleeping habits: pretty much only falls asleep between the hours of 3-5 am, doesn’t matter if he works the morning or afternoon shift....... if he doesn’t work at all he’ll just sleep until his body naturally wakes up which is also usually around 3-5 pm KLSDGLKHSDGLKHDG exercise habits: doesn’t exactly have one..... he’s a pretty active and energetic guy so he’s usually up and about doing whatever anyway, also rides his bike everywhere since marj and steve r usually out with the only car they have sociability: loves being around people but he’ll eventually grow cranky, doesn’t necessarily need to be alone but at least with a different group of people if he gets to this point, the only time he actively doesn’t really want to see people is when he’s having a depressive episode but those don’t last too long as is drink / smoke / drugs: yes / yes / yes
personality.
positive traits: adventurous, courageous, determined, funny, gregarious, independent, quick-witted, tough, versatile negative traits: belligerent, cantankerous, foolhardy, harsh, impulsive, parsimonious, sarcastic, tactless, unpredictable, vulgar goals/desires: lowkey he’d never admit it but he just kinda wants his parents’ approval in the end, and also maybe to find something better than supervisor at a flower store (no offence to marj and steve its just not his dream) fears: staying committed and missing out on different opportunities/people that could change his life, the fact that he probably can’t do any better than be a supervisor at a flower store tbh hobbies: drinking, drawing a bit tbh, thrifting, loves collecting random knick knacks and is personally loving buttons rn, harassing his friends<3, making stupid tiktoks that somehow have gotten him a kind of big following habits: swearing obnoxiously without caring, yells in dutch when he’s frustrated which he’s mostly picked up on cuz everyone else in his family does it, stares more than what is socially acceptable tbh, refuses to walk under ladders
favourites.
weather: sunny with some clouds colour: dark green music: likes a lot of 90s and early 2000s rap and rock, old school country like he loves dolly parton LKSDHGKLHSDGLK rly enjoys elvis presley too, some edm or anything that he can jst dance wildly to movies: old school slasher films, screams his fav movie series ever food: spaghetti bt specifically w marj’s Phenom homemade meat sauce<3 drink: grape juice, whiskey sour
relationships.
father: steven fowler is his uncle but currently his legal guardian, he’s a co-owner of fowler’s flowers and is kind of a mess but in like the fun way....... LKSHDGKLHSLDG he just spends a lot of the day in nothing but boxers and socks w their cat on his lap watching the weather report if he’s not working, has the weird energy of someone who would be running like a joke shop instead of being a florist. archibald fowler is leo’s biological dad but he sucks Big Time, giant business typhoon i hvnt . figured out 100% wht sort of business bt hes got Money bt doesnt even rly want anything to do w leo he jst sees him as a massive disappointment bc archie’s nothing but a loser fart of a square. mother: marjorie fowler’s his aunt and other legal guardian also the other co-owner of fowler’s flowers, literally the sweetest woman on the planet like she’s never done anything wrong in her life n u can take tht to the bank. she’s a bit weird n super spiritual, their house constantly smells like random herbs and rly intensely of flowers and plants bc she makes so many home remedies bt she’s an angel a fkin ANGEL!!!!! renata kline’s leo’s mom n she’s like . fine ig she was pretty negligent n her best friend is a bottle of wine....... she rly peaked at a young age when she was a pageant girl n she still coaches n stuff now bt she’s obvs rly sad so leo tries not to lose it on her too much even tho he thinks she’s annoying LKSHDGKLHSLDKGKLSDG siblings: augustus is his oldest brother and he’s pretty cool, probs the brother leo is closest with even tho he considers him boring bt it’s only bc he’s . actually responsible n wht not they had a lot of fun growing up together tho when leo visited new york. mikhael is the devil, he’s actually a bit of a cunt n both him n leo have expressed their hatred fr each other without missing a beat i think they actually dnt hv any love or affection fr the other in the slightest SKLDHGLKSDHG. vaughn n leo r closest in age he’s not tht much younger n he’s probs the shiest of them, pretty soft spoken n well meaning, him n leo dnt rly keep in contact too much anymore bt theres a special place in his heart fr vaughn he’s pretty protective even tho he bullies him a lot bt thts besides the point. willhelm’s the youngest n it kinda shows he’s pretty idgaf attitude n rly blunt bt he’s also funny n probs the biggest partier outside of leo so he gets a pass whenever he rolls his eyes in leo’s face. pets: mitzie’s an 8 year old tortoiseshell cat who lives primarily on ppls laps shes literally more lap dog than cat significant other: n/a family’s financial status: middle class
extra.
zodiac sign: scorpio<3 mbti: estp - the entrepeneur enneagram: the epicure temperament: sanguine hogwarts house: gryffindor moral alignment: chaotic neutral primary vice: pride primary virtue: dilligence element: fire
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thecloserkin · a year ago
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fic rec: Cymbeline by orange_crushed
fandom: The Borgias
pairing: Cesare Borgia/Lucrezia Borgia
word count: 14k, one-shot
Is it canon: yes
Is it explicit: yes
Is it endgame: yes
Is it shippable: yes
Bottom line: you’ve heard of the Princess falls for the Bastard now get ready for the Princess falls for her bastard brother. the sine qua non of modern AUs tbh 13/10
Ain’t nobody got time for unrelated!AUs and I consider “not raised together” AUs almost as bad. I am hyping this fic in the face of my own acknowledged biases. It is that good. For me, the biggest selling point of Princess+Bastard shipping dynamics is that they’re both outsiders, frozen out of the center of power by their birth or their gender. It’s true they boast enormous levels of privilege relative to Joe Peasant but was Joe Peasant raised in a castle??? Does Joe Peasant have years of book-learning and horseback-riding lessons under his belt? Our mains are stuck in this no-man’s-land where they’re close enough to the throne to understand how power operates better than most people do; the scope of their own choices is extremely limited, however. And that is what brings Cesare and Lucrezia together: no one else gets it. No one understands their peculiar position.
A word about Shakespeare’s Cymbeline before we get into the fic proper. Cymbeline is an absolutely BUCK WILD play. One of its chief themes is jealousy, which will be very relevant to this fic!! What is even more relevant, topically, is that it features a pair of exiled princes who are raised in ignorance of their royal blood (they’re humble shepherds/woodsmen??), and incest is barely averted when the princess, their sister, arrives in disguise (it’s Shakespeare so everybody is always in some disguise or another). These boys be like “but what is this aFfiNiTy we feel for this girl” lol.
Cesare grows up on the edge of poverty, the son of a cleaning lady (Vanozza) who had an affair with a crooked businessman (Rodrigo). Cesare and Juan are the fruit of that union. Lucrezia, the trust fund baby, is Rodrigo’s only legitimate child. Rodrigo’s sporadic visits to Vanozza + the boys are accompanied by toys they’re too old for and shoes that don’t fit:
and Juan would be crying bitterly and telling mama he wanted to go away, to live with papa instead. But Cesare knew that was impossible.
This is cynicism as a defense mechanism. Cynicism as a survival strategy. It works fine for Cesare the first 18 years of growing up working-class, but when Rodrigo hears Cesare’s mulling military enlistment he swoops in to pay Cesare’s college tuition—an offer that diverts the course of Cesare’s entire life. Rodrigo’s plan is to set him up with an internship and bring him into the family business after he gets his degree. Cesare never loses that cynicism, though. This is Cesare talking to Lucrezia about college applications:
”The SATs are a scam.” “How'd you score?” ”Aced it. That's how I know they're garbage."
His sense that the system is rigged isn’t incorrect; he just underestimates how talented he, personally is at gaming the system. Likewise, Cesare’s cynicism is borne out by the fact that most people are lying scumbags; his only mistake was drawing a circle around “family” and declaring those people trustworthy, and including Juan in that circle. I wouldn’t trust Juan Borgia to babysit my pet cactus. I think the first few scenes of this fic, before Cesare and Lucrezia ever meet, are paradoxically the most important scenes because they establish that Juan is Cesare’s family. If Borgias fandom is about anything it’s about people who will go to any lengths to protect their family. The arc of this fic is Cesare going from “my baby brother murdered a dog in cold blood but he’s family” to “my baby brother tried to murder my baby sister and i put a bullet in him because Lucrezia is family.” I think the love story is actually subordinate to the family/non-family distinction: What’s more significant, that Cesare wants to fuck Lucrezia or that Cesare killed Juan to protect Lucrezia?
Juan has never gotten over the “not a real Borgia” chip on his shoulder and Cesare’s never gotten out of “cleaning up Juan’s messes” mode. That’s their dynamic and it never changes. But it’s important to remember there is genuine affection and camaraderie underneath the tension. This is at a birthday party where the boys know no one and there is a face-painting station:
and afterwards Juan comes back looking intense and murderous with tiger stripes all over his cheeks and Cesare laughs himself practically into the pool. Sometimes Juan is the best thing in the world.
Jfc this should not hurt so much. JUAN IS THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD is a thing that Cesare believes with apparent sincerity. Anyway I commend this fic for being literally and metaphorically constructed around a goddamn swimming pool. The pool next to which Juan got his face painted is the pool where Cesare first meets twelve-year-old Lucrezia, the birthday girl. Lucrezia is busy getting mud all over her dress so the grownups will let her change into her preferred Batman costume. It’s the briefest of meetings. Years later, college-age Cesare has moved into the Borgia estate and he watches Lucrezia swim laps around the pool. The two of them talk about everything and nothing. The level of UST is off the charts:
lies in bed afterwards trying not to think about water running down her neck, her shoulders, over the curve of her shoulderblades, the dip of her back and swell of her hip, tracing her outline, the soft shape of her against the pool lights, the glow of stars, like the rays around Our Lady of Guadalupe. Like she was cut out of light, hammered out of fireflies and sunshine, shaped and sanded that way, like she just happens to be a person: she could have been something else, a comet or a flower, she could have been anything.
Look, most of the time the prose in this fic is not flashy but I had to reread this passage twice because it was absolutely fucking transcendent. Most of the time this fic is subtly transposing Renaissance papal politics onto modern class antagonisms, but this passage just hits you like a freight truck. It’s not just “Lucrezia Borgia is the most beautiful woman who ever lived” it’s why Cesare specifically thinks she is the most beautiful woman who ever lived.
It turns out Rodrigo is not so much a crooked businessman as a straight-up mob boss. Cesare takes it in stride because the important thing is not that he’s working for the mafia, it’s that he’s working for his family. Juan has now graduated from murdering puppies to murdering underlings. Cesare continues to clean up after him/cover for him. The thing that finally blows the doors off this criminal enterprise is Juan’s spiraling substance addiction, which nobody except Cesare seems to take seriously??? Rodrigo is literally sending recovering-addict Juan to meet up with heroin suppliers. And justifies it by saying he trusts Juan, it’s for the good of the family. You can see the shape of the question slowly forming in Cesare’s mind: Do we have to sacrifice Juan’s mental health for the goals of “the family”? There are just so many red flags:
Sometimes Juan shows up at Cesare's apartment at four in the morning, sitting on a stool in Cesare's kitchen and eating cold cuts out of their packages and asking Cesare if anybody can actually love anyone else, or if love is a lie, if being human is a joke, if being a person is actually no different than being a cat or a dog or a housefly, if you opened up a person would you be able to tell if they loved anything, if there was really a place in the heart where those things rested. "Mary, mother of God," Cesare says, standing barefoot in his boxers on the cold kitchen floor. "Juan, go home or go the fuck to sleep."
Here’s Micheletto and Cesare dissecting the problem of Juan:
”Is he going to be trouble?" "Juan?" Cesare says. He thinks about it. "He's always trouble."
Trouble for whom? Micheletto (“Mike”) is one of the family’s hired guns and he is doing his job: trying to assess how much risk Juan poses to “the good of the family.” Cesare is still operating on the assumption that Juan, however volatile he may be, lies inside his circle of concern so there’s no reason to evaluate Juan’s threat-level. They’re talking at cross-purposes. The Cesare x Mike scenes are oases of much-needed levity. Mike hangs out on Cesare’s couch and binges whole seasons of Top Chef to study knife technique. Mike himself is of course a cipher:
He doesn't know what Mike drinks, if Mike drinks, if Mike eats or sleeps, or if the guy is just a perfect terrifying robot designed to clean up the Borgias' endless messes. Cesare wonders where they can get a dozen more of him: probably nowhere on earth. Cesare wonders what it says about him that Mike is probably his best friend right now.
Cesare has no friends!!! Cesare is isolated and lonely!!! Cesare has spent his whole life breaking up Juan’s fights and tryna keep his ass out of jail!!! Cesare has one lifeline and that is LUCREZIA. She’s the only thing keeping him sane at this point.
He drives up to visit her at college, books a hotel on the beachfront and whisks her away for a weekend. The whole routine of applying sunscreen/aloe to each other’s backs while mutual pining so hard you are probably causing ripples in the space-time continuum in a neighboring dimension??? Fucking evergreen trope. Love it. Cesare’s keeps saying “we can’t” and “it’s not right” but ”It's okay," Lucrezia murmurs. "It's us." THE KIND OF CONTENT I AM HERE FOR. She literally just crawls on top of him while naked and dripping wet from the shower one day lol. But it’s not the sight of the perfect globes of Lucrezia’s boobs, it’s that simple, straightforward “It’s us” that slays me. I don’t believe in reincarnation and I would still wager upon the surety of my soul that Cesare and Lucrezia will find each other again, in this life or the next.
Meanwhile Cesare and Juan’s relationship continues to deteriorate:
"Sweet little Lucrezia. You don't think about daddy's perfect little princess getting plowed, ass up in the air—“ he stops because Cesare hits him, hits him so hard he rolls off the sofa onto the floor.
It’s not Juan’s perspicuity but Cesare’s reaction that gives away the game. Tbh I doubt Juan would even have noticed anything amiss if Cesare had just let him keep talking. It’s not out of character for Juan to treat women as objects, right? But Cesare is Cesare, and he’s incapable of letting anyone disrespect Lucrezia. Talk shit get hit, Juan. Juan is wily but he’s a far cry from perceptive. Cesare’s overreaction is major enough to have tipped him off to how things stand between Cesare/ Lucrezia. Which leads directly to what happens next: Lucrezia is kidnapped. Rodrigo calls Cesare in to deal with it, even as Juan blusters in the background.
"Whoever it is," Cesare says, "they're going to die." “Of course," Mike says, and hangs up.
I love two (2) murder angels. Mike and Cesare follow up some leads, reel in Lucrezia’s boyfriend for questioning:
"He said it would be funny- for her birthday, it was gonna be for her birthday, just a prank, Jesus, I didn't know!" "Her birthday's in April, you fuck," Cesare says.
Lmao he’s almost more offended this moron can’t remember his sister’s birthday than that he sold her to the highest bidder? You can bet Cesare has never forgotten to get her a birthday present.
Anyway, onto the climax! It was a all a setup. Juan had his goons kidnap Lucrezia—not for ransom either, he instructed them to kill her. They chickened out. Cesare still can’t believe it??? A betrayal of this scale. He catches Juan redhanded attempting to choke a handcuffed Lucrezia to death and Juan is still spouting bald-faced lies omg he’s such a poor liar but this time, finally, Cesare doesn’t believe him:
"There's one [goon] still up there," Cesare says. "We can ask him." Juan stares at him and his face is so blank for a second, it's like God took a sponge and wiped Cesare's brother out of this person, away, and left the body behind. Juan's mouth smiles. And then he lunges forward.
I do not think Cesare would have shot Juan if it was anyone else’s life on the line, anyone but Lucrezia. If it was anyone else he’d probably just have let Juan kill him. Here is Juan’s villain origin speech:
"oh my God, you eat from his fucking table and you fuck his daughter, you take whatever he wants to give you. Fucking her doesn't make her family," Juan says. "If she died we'd get it all.”
The tragic part is, I don’t think Juan decided to take out Lucrezia because she’s Rodrigo’s favorite—that part isn’t new information; she has always been the favored child. What has changed is that she is now clearly Cesare’s favorite, and this is what Juan cannot abide. From his point of view he’s never gotten a fair shake, but at least he could count on Cesare to be in his corner. Cesare falling in love with Lucrezia was, for Juan, the ultimate betrayal. So not only does Cesare put a bullet in his brother, he also holds himself partly responsible for setting his brother on this path in the first place. I know this in my bones because Cesare has spent his whole life taking responsibility for Juan’s mistakes. Lucrezia lies to the police and to Rodrigo, of course: She claims Juan died saving her life. No reason to tarnish the image of “the family.”
Aaaaand this concludes our cogitations on the nature of “the family.” Conclusion: Juan≠family, Lucrezia=family. That was easy. Actually, way back when Cesare first caught feelings, when Lucrezia was still underage, every time he went to hug her he would reassure himself, “There's nothing wrong with this, with her, with him. They're family.” Hahaha damn straight!
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hey-hamlet · 2 years ago
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BNHA AU Idea: Yazukzashi
Also on AO3! 
TL;DR:
Hizashi in part of a Yakuza family, Shouta is the hapless gen ed. student that transfers into his hero class. The class tries to warn him about the blonde's Yakuza connections but...
Shouta is kinda dense.
TW: CHILD ABUSE it accidentally got angsty in the middle there. if that's a trigger for you, skip this one. its not very explicit but the stuff implied is nasty.
anyway, so this was supposed to be a comedy au. oops.
Anyway, this was written before we knew about Shirakumo if you’re wondering why he isn’t here / why Nemuri is the same age as Shouta.
the yakuza zashi au
hes not morally perfect bc he's a yakuza kid with his parents cheering him on
with a hoard of other yakuza they all have handmade signs and a special cheer
they are at the sports festival and they are scaring the people around them. they look like they wanna beat up shouta when he beats mic, but then one of them whispers "oh wait! that's the young lord's crush!" and these burly men giggle like school girls
Hizashi abusing his dads connections to help this scruffy lil gen ed boy stay out of trouble and then he gets into the hero course and he's like,,, "fuck, I'm gonna need a bigger allowance to pay people off"
ok so he's actually yakuza on his mum's side, his dad married into the family, his dad took his mum's last name bc i say so
anyway his parents look like Criminals and it makes him laugh tbh bc they are really sweet, if totally also criminals. his dad has a scar cutting from his eyebrow to his cheekbone, everyone assumes it from a knife fight. it's from a cat. His mum is a high femme boss lady style femme fatale, and she rocks it. However, she's secretly a total tomboy who just likes looking fancy
also hizashi was like,,, very gay growing up. the stereotypical gay kid, and his parents thought he was just the sweetest thing tbh
his mum did his nails all glittery, his dad took him to gymnastics
anyway: so he and his parents have an,,, interesting sense of morality
they don't like killing people bc it's lazy, messy and pretty rude, but they will in some scenarios, ie: they tried to kill you for no good reason, they backstabbed you for no good reason, they did something horrific too you etc
hizashi doesn't view killing as the worst thing someone can do, but he does see it as a total last resort. in the family, betrayal is worse than murder, same w the whole yakuza family
so hizashi has great parents
shouta - shouta is not so lucky
his mum doesn't really,,, care much for him. his stepfather is a b a s t a r d. does terrible things we ain't getting into, calls shouta a fag, useless, "basically quirkless", etc. his mum just tells him to stop "making his father angry"
after the sports festival when shouta kicks hizashi's actual ass hes totally prepared to be hated, he's expecting it honestly.
but hizashi looks at him with wide eyes and mutters "so,,,, cool,,," and he feels himself blush like a tomato. moving into 1A after the festival hizashi basically forces him to become his friend. shouta has 0 say in the matter
the only people brave enough to really befriend him rather than just being chill w him were nemuri and tensei
nemuri bc shes gives no fucks ab any yakuza bitch, tensei because he has some faith in the background check system to not let a violent bastard in
now shouta has no clue hizashi is in the yakuza
everyone else in 1A knows they try and like,, warn him. subtly. but he doesn't get it at all and actually thinks they mean hizashi is bitter ab the festival
so shouta 'lets' himself be befriended all the while expecting that some time hizashi, nemuri and tensei are going to beat the crap out of him when hes not expecting it
hizashi and co. are fucking around at lunch, eating outside and messing around
nemuri says one of her normal pretty explicit jokes to shouta and shouta panics
he can't handle it, shuts down, has a silent panic attack that freaks them all the fuck out because he's not breathing, he's just shaking and crying silently and nemuri, obviously, feels like shit and shes panicking a lil ab what to do
tensei is trying to calm shouta down and failing bc shouta is panicking so hard he can't even fucking hear him
hizashi is really regretting his brains because he's just made some really horrific connections
the bell rings, hizashi tells nemuri and tensei to go back to class and just sits there and holds shouta's hand until he calms down
poor guy is dissociating like fuck too
so hizashi considers going back to class
he really does
but then he thinks "nope, fuck it" and he sits with shouta outside until the bell rings to go home
shouta starts to feel a little,,, better? more aware? idk, but he apologises and tries to say nothing was wrong and he just overreacted
hizashi just looks at him
"look, I'm not gonna make you tell me. but that wasn't nothing. I'm not that stupid."
shouta tries to defend himself but just gives up bc it's not like hizashi is wrong. nemuri and tensei bring their bags down, explain their teachers weren't that mad (nezu totally saw that happening on the cameras and told the teachers that they might not be coming back to class)
nezu is a good man also ive decided hes immortal and principal always
hizashi would totally put a hit out on shouta’s parents but he's stony silent ab his homelife, they don't even know if he has parents and asking seems rude bc they've known the guy like a month
now hizashi's parents
have no such moral qualms
and they get people to scope out shouta's house. wiretaps, bugs, stake outs, the works. bc hizashi told them that his friend had the mother of all panic attacks when nemuri made a dirty joke about a daddy kink and that is a warning sign if ever there was one
it literally takes a day for the stakeout team to report back, and they are fucking fuming. they heard aizawa's stepdad spew some nasty shit then make his son sleep outside
(this au shouta adores cats bc the strays stay with him when he's locked out, which is pretty often. he doesn't mind being locked out because it's better than the alternative)
so, hizashi's parents? pissed.
very pissed
bc you dont. hurt. kids. and this is their kid's new friend
so
they have a plan (tm)
it involves mainly making shouta more comfortable with them + hizashi, then beating his dad's teeth in
to move away from angst for the moment, even baby zashi has tattoos bc he's part of the family
he just has a big one on his shoulder blades of a koi, and tiny one just under his collar bone of a music note
hizashi takes shouta out for bubble tea like every Friday. Hes highkey rich with a massive allowance from his parents and spoils the fuck out of all of his friends
he totally had a crush on shouta before the sports festival from when they were in the same entrance exam and shouta saved his ass from a robot. He was heartbroken that shouta didn’t make it into the hero course
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surveystodestressme · a year ago
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220.
Do you get nervous before “meeting the parents”? yes, very
What do you think of your friends? i love them, i think they're amazing
What do you prefer to drink in the morning? coffee
Have you ever done ecstacy? nope
Do you like painkillers? yeah when i'm in pain
What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex? my charm and charisma
Do you own a knife? nope
Top 3 thoughts at this exact moment: i'm tired, i want sushi, my cat is so cute
Name five drinks you regularly drink: coffee, water, pepsi, alcohol, more alcohol
What time did you wake up today? around 9
Current hair? straight
Current worry? nothing really
Current hate? besides 2020?
Favorite place to be? in my home
Least favorite place to be? the dmv
What do you think you’ll be doing in 10 yrs? hopefully out of this current state, maybe be a vet???
Last thing you ate? taco bell
Last time you had an alcoholic drink? this morning
What songs do you sing in the shower? anything that is stuck inside my head
Who is your loudest friend? mariann
Do people get shocked by how old you are? sometimes
Do you have any features that people notice right away? my height
What are/were you considered at your school or in general? nerdy
Don’t you just love pooping after holding it for a long time? yeah bro
Whats the last compliment you received? the skirt i wore today was cute
Do you like hanging out at your house, or your friends? both
Where is the last person you kissed at this moment? behind me
Will tomorrow be better then today? i couldn't tell you
Have you ever fallen asleep with the last person you kissed? yes
Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden? nope
Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with a: J, M, C, L, B, A? probably all of them tbh
Ever kissed a brown eyed and brown haired person? yes
Are you a player? no
Is there something you want to tell someone? i don't think so
Is something bothering you? nope
Do you like the town you are living in? not really
Does your best friend approve of the last person you kissed? i think so
Do you have any friends with kids? yes
Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? my bf
Do you hate when people smoke around you? idc
Have you held hands with anyone in the past 24 hours? yes
Think a lot before you fall asleep? usually
What was the last thing you spent your money on? starbucks
Be honest, who is the easiest person in your life to talk to? my mom and sister
Do you have a best friend of the opposite sex you tell everything to? not really
Were you single last summer? nope
What’s the weather like outside? cold
Is the last person you kissed older than you? no
Where did you first kiss the last person you kissed? in our apartment
Name three things you did or are going to do today: looked at the moon through my telescope, went to lunch with friends, bought yarn
Are you currently frustrated with anyone or anything? nope
Let’s say you were ten years old again, what would be a typical day for you? going to school, whatever after school activity i was into, going home, watch mulan or do hw, eat dinner, go to bed
What was the worst feeling you last felt? sadness?
How long have you been sober? several days/weeks
Last sexual experience? pretty vanilla, missionary
How often do you talk on the phone? at least once a day
Do you have a significant other at the moment? yes
Do you “go out” a lot? not really
Do you work a lot? 40 hours a week
Do you still talk to your exes? no
Current Best Friend? claire
Favorite store: shein
Your weakness? i'm too nice
Biggest annoyance in your life right now? my lungs
How do you feel about your hair right now? it's ok
Who do you currently have texts in your inbox from? several people
What color was the last pill you took? white
How many windows are open on your computer? 5
What are you doing after this? prob another survey
Where did you buy the shirt you are wearing? got it for xmas
Are you cold, warm or just right at the moment? just right
Why did you last cry? dont remember
Are you happier single or in a relationship? in a relationship
Miss anything from your past? probably
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joecial-distancing · a year ago
Text
2019 in review in review:
A few years ago I started tracking yearly goals, books read, movies watched etc in a year, along with overview blurbs, in private posts. End of 2019/beginning of 2020 I was really frazzled/burned out about a lot of stuff and just never finished up making the thing. 8 months later, got the urge to read back what I’d got done, then figured I’d maybe go ahead and see about finishing. 
Media tracking below the break. thoughts/blurbs written in 2020 italicized, 2019 not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_____________________________~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Didn’t do so hot on explicit personal goals, but had a lot of stuff go ok around them this year.
School’s been fine/better than fine.
Job’s probably the biggest failing. Still with same job, haven’t made the firm moves to jump off, dragging my feet too much on exploring stuff w/ Columbia/NASA GISS.
Did not get better with covid, lol
Dating life still non-existent, but I’ve registered on apps, gotten more comfortable with selfies, improved general social life dramatically, been flirted with, updated my wardrobe, and generally started to get comfortable accepting that I’m a hot person.
Somehow got extremely better during covid.
Books
Grant (finished)
We stan a taurus legend
Guy was good at exactly one job, and was fortunate enough to have been in the right place/right time to get to do it.
Mort (discworld)
Definitely best discworld I’ve gotten to so far.
Don Quixote p. II
Really entertaining in a way that part 1 wasn’t; I was shocked how much the meta element landed for me.
Consider the Lobster (DFW collection)
had zero context on who DFW is/was when I read, and still don’t exactly tbh. Wanted to wait for a pause in The Discourse before diving into more of him, but dunno if I’m ever going to get that.
Crime and Punishment (revisited)
Weirdly didn’t get much more out of this than I did the first time I’d read it
Better Than Sex (HST Gonzo papers)
Xerox/widespread fax accessibility opening citizen access to mass media in a manner really reminiscent of what social media would go on to do at a much larger scale. Has a much more deliberate narrative arc than the other gonzo papers collections, also has that excellent HST richard nixon eulogy
The Brothers Karamazov
SPQR
Slouching Towards Bethlehem (Didion collection)
Pet Sematary
Not my favorite King, but not bad
Sourcery (discworld)
still funny/charming, but Mort really made clear/reminded me how much the hapless sadsack Rincewind mold of protagonist wears on me after a while.
The Devil's Teeth
My Year of Rest and Relaxation
Liked it a lot more once I realized it was doing a Fear and Loathing thing.
Homage to Catalonia
This should be the Orwell that gets taught in schools. Make it a followup to All Quiet on the Western Front or something, jeez.
Lyndon Johnson I
Having now finished all of them, this one’s probably the least-interesting but sets up a bunch of important context that the others still then feel the need to retread.
The Razor's Edge
Recommended to me as a “white guy discovers eastern mysticism” book, but also is more interesting in its treatment of that than I’d expected (helps it was written in the 40s). 
Cat's Cradle
There’s a part in this where Vonnegut’s making fun of people who try to bond with strangers over being Hoosiers, and my dumbass immediate thought was “ooh, Vonnegut’s a hoosier? Me too!”
Lyndon Johnson II
Robert Caro felt compelled to apologize for spending so much words lionizing Coke Stevens, segregationist opponent to Johnson’s senate run. His goal was pretty clearly to show lbj’s lack of campaign charisma by contrast, definitely definitely overcommitted in his own narrativising.
Libra
I want to go back to this after reading some more De Lillo.
Gravity's Rainbow
This book absolutely kicked my ass
Overstuffed and referential in a specific way that really keeps me hooked in instead of put off. When I learn about some piece of cultural context that I retroactively recognize as being referenced in this, I want to go back and reread the entire thing.
From Caligari to Hitler
Kind of fails both as film criticism and cultural analysis, but absolutely made me want to run for the hills when considering current relationship between mainstream movies and demands of pop culture.
I took a class on Weimar cinema in undergrad that I now realize was probably biting pretty heavily from this and never once referenced it.
Movies
Venom
Movie itself is not as fun as the Tom Hardy hype coverage. PG13 was the absolute worst space to aim for, PG- or R- versions of this could have been a blast.
Harryhauser Argonauts
Was tripping when I put this on, and it was all kinds of fun.
2001: a Space Oddyssey
First time seeing this, all-time classic for a reason!
A Good American (the NSA doc)
Dr. Strangelove
Mel Brooks History of the World p. I
Not my favorite Brooks, best joke was at the beginning.
In Bruges
Had been a while since I saw a proper dark comedy.
Spiderverse
Fukkin awesome!
Visually great, and extremely better than usual superhero stuff for being aimed at PG instead of PG-13.
You Only Live Twice
Highlander (Revisited)
I watched The Old Guard on netflix recently and it mostly just made me wish I was watching Highlander instead, because at least Highlander knows exactly how goofy it is
Moonraker
The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
Much like The Shining, I though this would have been 100% spoiled for me by cultural osmosis, but turns out it wasn’t, and even the scenes I had seen *totally landed* in-context still.
Kung Fu Hustle
Ichi the Killer
Really gross, really fun
Matrix Reloaded (watched thru highway scene) (Revisited)
The highway scene was not nearly as cool as I remembered it being.
John Wick 3*
Probably dumbest plot of all of them, best choreography. I like how every single fight had its own distinct flavor. “Knife museum fight” “horse fight” “halle berry dogs fight” 
Akira
A classic
Pet Sematary * (ugh, bad)
Why can’t john lithgow be in good movies anymore
The Revenant
MCU Spiderman
Fuck this was awful.
MCU Spiderman 2*
Really weird, complete Rorschach Test of a movie: it’d be totally valid to read into this that global warming is Fake News, for instance.
Lmao this was completely awful
Rites
Dredd (non-stallone)
oh hey Lena Headey’s in this
For All Mankind!
Watched in honor of moon landing anniversary
Lion King *
Watched it way too stoned, was like dark side of the moon + wizard of oz except instead it’s a lion king script reading + nature footage edited for lip syncing.
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood *
Many scenes of very long setups for really stupid shaggy dog jokes, which sometimes worked and sometimes didn’t. I do kinda want to rewatch now knowing more about manson, which I knew pretty much nothing about beforehand
Blowout
A good john lithgow movie
also I think I like travolta in things.
Lord of War
A Good cage movie
I like when Eamon Walker shows up in stuff.
Taxi Driver
A classic
Snowpiercer
Watched in a bar with only one speaker working, which is the correct way to watch. Weirder and funnier than I thought it was going to be, which still doesn’t make it good, but,
dbz big green dub
Exorcist III
Brad Dourif just tearing it apart
Deep Red (argento)
Suspiria (1977)
Watched the remake in 2020, which was ok, but nothing tops the Goblin score.
Elf Bowling
Thanks, Gnome
Parasite *
Interesting to me that this one seems poised to hang around people’s good esteem for a while
TV
FMA: B
Rick & Morty
Saw some episodes, generally pretty funny, some misanthropy that’s probably appealing to a certain type of teen al a something like House, but ultimately I don’t totally Get the intensity of discourse about it.
Leterkenny
Mob Psycho 100
One Punch Man
Deadwood
Watchmen
Only watched like half of it. Was playing around with a lot of hefty imagery/thematics, but didn’t really seem ready to rise above playing (tho also I feel like it’s weird on some level to *expect* them to rise above that in the first place)
Music
New Avantasia
HEALTH/ show
lol remember concerts
King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard/ show
Just learned about King Gizz in 2019 and got completely obsessed with them. I don’t tend to expand my music selection very readily, and a lot of what I currently *do* know is old/inactive stuff, so it was/is incredibly exciting to have an active group with good momentum just immediately win me over like that.
Mistimed the edibles and ended up with a really good finale and a really long subway ride home.
New Yeasayer
Sad they split up
Steve Wilson Tull remixes
Aqualung’s a good album and the sound mixing’s kinda bad, so I liked this project.
Stonefield
Opened for Gizzard. Really good as studying music
Video Games
Civ VI: Gathering Storm
Hades
Turns out Supergiant’s design proclivities all work *extremely well* on a roguelike
Baba is You
Untitled Goose Game
Cute, if maybe a bit overhyped
finally fucking finished Pillars of Eternity
Had fun with it, but too long, and really dour for how long it is.
Pillars II
Kinda drifted off it eventually, but I do genuinely like that the flavor of the fantasy is colonial era rather than medieval.
There’s a Balancing Bastard Factions element where it’s like the writers are just being smartasses after a while. Having to go extremely out of their way to make siding with colonizers seem like a competitive option.
Pokemon shield
Cuphead
pisses me off, which was a nice outlet when I was stranded by flight cancellations during thanksgiving
Celeste
Also very difficult, but really easy to stay patient with, which is nice.
Disco Elysium
None of the discourse made me want to play this, but people talking about the mechanical stuff it did got me extremely interested. Mostly Delivered IMO.
Breath of the Wild
You can approach the nodes of the main quest in the order you choose, and the second one I chose made ninjas start fucking spawning everywhere when I’m just trying to explore, and there’s no way to make it stop. May go back to it one day.
Podcasts
Relentless Picnic Patreon feed
The treats really helped me start distinguishing individual personalities, compared to the regular eps.
Picnic Discord!
<3
FatT Counterweight
Fun, but also I think Mechs are not my shit.
FatT Spring in Hieron/ end of that particular world
8 months since I’ve last tuned into FatT. ah well.
Law School
He’s in everythiiiing!
You Must Remember This: Manson family
*There’s* the context
Misc.
Kindle train guy
Times Square sleeping guy + kids taking selfies w/ him
toddler singing along after Psycho killer (a, ya, ya ya, ya)
drunk and dragged to a drag show
Central park football family
Soft Steel Drum Subway Busker
Weird old lady going to grand central for oysters
2018 in review (cards):
MySelf (CC)
Self: Tower
Blocked: 10 Cups
Ethereal/subconscious: 8 Swords
Material: 3 Swords
Past: Justice
Future: Page Wands
Attitude: Sun
External: King Swords
Hopes/Fears: 5 Coins
Trajectory: High Priestess
Also Self:
Hierophant
7 Cups
7 Coins
Blind Spot:
(self & others): 5 cups    ||    (others not self): High Priestess
(self not others): Moon   ||    (nobody): 3 Cups
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in-tua-deep · 2 years ago
Note
Your TUA au with five and soft Luther are giving me life tbh. I honestly love it so so much. Would you think of doing something with them all being there for vanya when her powers start coming out again (however that happens) but because they’re all together as a family the apocalypse never happens cause they’re there for her and help her and yeah. Idk I just feel like your au could have such a happy ending. With vanya and klaus able to grow their powers in safety and with love and support 💕💕
asdfsgdDFSGH thank u i didn’t realize the responsible luther au would be as popular as it got?? sometimes i make a post and am just surprised by how many people seem to like them lmao
(other responsible luther au things can be found here, here, and here)
not exactly a snippet like last time but here’s my stream of consciousness rambling style y’all should be used to at this point wheyy >;3c (except of course I end up doing a snippet in the middle of the stream of consciousness so BEST OF BOTH WORLDS I GUESS)
So you have Five, who has been doing a lot of research into psychology things since he’s, you know, seeing a psychologist. So he’s interested, and at a family dinner he asks Vanya what her medication is for. Of course, she responds that it’s for anxiety which is usually where the conversation ends.
Except Five wants to know what it is and what dosage she’s taking, and she tells him. And he’s either “That’s not an anxiety medication” or “That’s a dose large enough to take down an elephant I’m pretty sure” or hey maybe Vanya even frowns and is like “Actually you know what? I don’t know.”
and Vanya in the show says she used to see a therapist, so maybe she’s still seeing them? Except Five insists that clearly something is wrong, and demands she switch to the place where Five goes. Vanya is starting to get an inkling that something is wrong, so she decides to go off her meds. 
Not cold turkey - but she goes off them regardless. And she feels… better. She feels more happy, like she’s more connected with life. Maybe she decides, with her new therapist, to switch to a different medication that’s actually for anxiety after her therapist looks at her current prescription with such absolute bewilderment because what the fuck and immediately is like “Yeah okay something is super weird here’s a new prescription and we’ll see if you feel less of the emotional numbness that you’ve been describing to be.”
So Vanya goes off them, and odd things start happening. But it’s not until she’s in Luther’s apartment and they’re eating dinner and Diego just made a stupid comment and the TV is going in the background and suddenly everything just starts shaking and Vanya is so surprised she snaps out of her anger and everything goes still and they’re all just like ????????
Meanwhile Luther is running on like, two hours of sleep because he has an early shift at the garage today and Five got tangled in the blankets again and woke up screaming and generally inconsolable so he’s just like. Done. He picks up the cutlery that fell on the ground when the table shook and is like “I don’t care who was responsible for that, please don’t do it again or at least not during dinner. Also Diego I saw you draw that knife you know my rules about weapons at the table. And in my home.”
and Vanya is just looking at her hands all wide-eyed like, “Was that me?? What the FUCK guys.”
“No swearing at the table.” Luther automatically corrects her.
“Well I guess we figured out what the fuck was up with your meds.” Five comments, reaching over to steal some potatoes off of Luther’s plate. 
“Language, Five.” Luther doesn’t comment on the theft of his food, instead just scooting his plate closer to Five’s because hey at least it’s getting the kid to eat something. 
“Why am I the only one freaking out about this?” Vanya sounds very stressed out right now, and the knives and forks rattle ominously.
“Actually I’m pretty freaked out?” Diego interjects, raising a hand. “Like, what? You had powers this whole time? When the fuck did you start taking those meds then?”
Klaus shrugs. “Honestly at this point do you really think our lives could get any fucking weirder? Shouldn’t we have been more surprised that Vanya didn’t have powers?”
Luther sighs deeply. “I’m going to actually buy a swear jar.” He tells the ceiling very seriously, “Because clearly this family cannot go one minute without swearing in front of a child.”
“I’m not a baby.” Five scowls, punching Luther in the arm which does exactly nothing except make Five feel a little better. 
“Yeah Luther, he’s not a baby.” Klaus sticks his tongue out at Luther and reaches out to ruffle Five’s hair. Five only allows it because Klaus just took his side.
“I don’t really remember a time when I wasn’t taking them.” Vanya attempts to get the conversation back on track. 
“I feel like giving toddlers anxiety medication isn’t something that’s generally done.” Five point out mildly, mercifully actually addressing the issue which would be good except he sounds very unconcerned and is still stealing the rest of Luther’s potatoes. Luther, for his part, just gets up and goes into the kitchen to get himself more because this is one dinner battle he’s not picking.
“So what? Dad just suppressed my powers?” Vanya asks.
“Why not?” Five shrugs, “He’s done some other seriously fucked up shit I don’t see why he’d draw the lines at drugging one of us.”
“I mean he for sure didn’t really care that I was drugging myself.” Klaus points out, “He definitely knew about it, right? Like I was seriously fucked up for the majority of our formative years or whatever.”
There’s some rattling from the kitchen.
“So you’re saying that if Vanya has powers, Dad knows about them?” Diego asks, waving a knife in the air that Luther definitely expressly forbid from appearing at his table. 
“But why would he mess with my powers?” Vanya asks, very confused. “Maybe they’re dangerous?”
Diego snorts, “More dangerous than Ben’s?”
“Ben takes issue with that!” Klaus protests.
“No he doesn’t.” Five rolls his eyes, because Five has gotten alarmingly good at figuring out when Klaus was accurately reporting their deceased sibling’s comments. 
“Maybe it was for my own safety.” Vanya says, looking doubtful but willing to play devil’s advocate.
“When the fuck did Dad care about our personal safety?” Klaus asks incredulously, and Vanya nods to concede the point easily enough.
“Shout out to when Dad threw me off the roof.” Five mutters before shoveling more potatoes in his mouth.
“OKAY.” Luther says, walking back from the kitchen. “We are going to address that very concerning comment later Five, don’t think we won’t. And also - ” He takes the opportunity to slam a jar on the table which has a piece of paper with ‘swear jar’ hastily taped to it. “ - I am 100% serious about no swearing at least at mealtimes if nothing else.”
“God Luther, you’re such a stick in the mud.” Klaus whines loudly and Diego is pulling such an offended face at the sight of the swear jar that Luther is tempted to tell him his face is going to stick like that if he isn’t careful.
“Guys!” Vanya exclaims, actually looking a little frustrated. “Can we get back to the subject of my mystery powers, please? This is seriously stressing me out.”
“You know,” Five says thoughtfully, “I bet Dad has some journals or something - ”
“No.” Luther vetoes immediately. “Absolutely not.”
“You didn’t even let me finish my thought!” Five protests.
“Dad has genuinely sent armed gunmen to kidnap you.” Luther points out, putting his foot down on the issue. “I just got our door fixed from the last time he decided you were the antichrist or whatever. You are not getting within a mile of him if I can help it.”
“But he is the antichrist.” Klaus grins widely, wiggling his fingers at Five and making the kid roll his eyes. 
“Only on alternating Tuesdays.” Luther says gravely, sparking a laugh out of Klaus.
“It’s still kind of weird that Luther has a sense of humor now.” Diego says, looking at Vanya who just has her face in her hands. She has given up on getting this family to actually stay on topic. It’s like herding cats.
“Aww Vanya,” Klaus coos, “It’s okay. I know figuring out you have a new power is pretty freaky - ” And Klaus would know, since getting sober his powers have been somewhat alarming in their progression. But at least sometimes they can talk to Ben, now? “ - and you can always train with me and Benny boy!”
“Really?” Vanya sniffles.
“No one is practicing anything in my apartment.” Luther says, aggrieved. “There is a bowling ball shaped dent in my wall from the last time Klaus practiced. I still don’t know where he got a bowling ball. And Diego I swear to god if I find any more knife marks in my walls - ”
“Some of those are Five’s!” Diego protests, pointing an accusing finger across the table. 
“And where is Five getting throwing knives, Diego?” Luther scowls.
“Five can speak for himself.” Five interjects absently, gesturing with a knife that looks awfully familiar. Diego pauses to check his knife holster before standing up.
“You little shit - ”
“Swear jar, Diego!” Klaus crows triumphantly. For his part, Diego grudgingly snags a dollar bill from his pocket and dumps it into the jar without any real protest, still glaring at Five who is only offering a shit eating grin.
Luther plucks the knife out of Five’s hand while the smallest sibling’s attention is focused on Diego. “I’m keeping this. Diego, you can come and get it from me before you leave and not a moment before. And for the last time stop bringing your knives into my apartment.”
“You were just saying about Dad’s attempts to kidnap Five!” Diego crosses his arms across his chest. “I need my knives in case there’s another attempt.”
“You can have one, one knife on your person.” Luther concedes grudgingly.
“Two.” Diego bargains.
“Guys!” Vanya interrupts, the table rattling again as her hair lifts around her face.
Diego sighs as if put upon. “I know an abandoned warehouse downtown. You and Klaus can practice there, I guess.”
“You can stay here tonight, Vanya! And then go train in the morning!” Five pipes up enthusiastically.
“This is not turning into a sleepover.” Luther says, completely ignored by the rest of the siblings.
“Sleepover!” Klaus cheers loudly.
“I can sleep on the couch.” Diego offers, “Vanya can have the air mattress in Klaus’s room.”
“Or I can sleep on the couch.” Vanya bats her eyes innocently, “After all, wouldn’t want my powers to go off in the night and hurt someone.”
“That’s not fair.” Diego sounds awfully accusatory. 
“You guys are so rude.” Klaus sniffs in mock offense, “Just because I rolled out of bed that one time - ”
“This isn’t turning into a sleepover.” Luther repeats himself, just a little louder. He is still ignored.
“We could all camp out in the main room.” Five bounces in his chair, “We could make a blanket fort!” Without another word Five vanishes in a flash of blue, probably to go and retrieve as many pillows and blankets as exist in Luther’s apartment.
“Five!” Luther raises his voice to be heard from the other room, “No jumping from the table!” He doesn’t get a response.
“I’m calling Allison in the morning.” Vanya states simply, because clearly her sister will be the most sensible one of them all and will actually have some decent suggestions. And also because Allison should probably know about the whole “Vanya has powers” thing going on
so YEAH that’s how it goes they figure out Vanya has powers and once they eventually get on topic enough to figure out what they want to do they agree that Vanya needs control and to figure out What the Fuck her powers are to begin with
that snippet got away from me mainly because the Hargreeves talking really is like herding cats and all of them at the same table minus Allison?? absolutely terrible
They skype Allison and Allison remembers the whole rumoring Vanya in the basement and everything rattles but Allison is miles and miles away and with the others there they can point out how absolutely fucked up it was for Reginald to demand that of both Allison AND Vanya because they were both what, four? They’re going to blame the man responsible (Reginald) and Vanya is going to have a very interesting next therapy session
so there you have it there is my opinion on Vanya’s powers in the responsible Luther au she finds out about them and decides to train them and she trains with Klaus and Ben and sometimes Diego to figure out that they’re linked to sound waves and all that and she doesn’t go straight up white violin because how are you supposed to be furious when your siblings keep going off topic about swear jars and table manners and kidnapping attempts?? 
so there you have it Vanya is fine because the power of the Hargreeves to derail any and all conversations they take part in is used for the greater good
honestly at this point after everything they’ve already dealt with (including said attempts by their dad at kidnapping Five because for some reason Reginald thinks Five is the cause of the apocalypse) they’re all just kind of like “this might as well happen, adult life is already so goddamn weird.”
on the bright side I’m having a lot more fun with dialogue scenes now than when i first started writing fanfics wheyyyy go me
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