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yourstruleejn · 2 years

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our beloved youth

fate has a cruel way of bringing people in and out of one’s life. be it through weather changes, old memories or what seem to be mere coincidences. Jeno and you parted ways a long time ago, but destiny still has its say in who you end up with.

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pairing // lee jeno x fem! reader; other characters include lee donghyuck (other dream members are mentioned) and aespa’s kim minjeong

genre // fluff; maybe angst? good ending tho; high school au + college au !!; exes to ??? (it’s kinda our beloved summer inspired but like /mildly/); everthing that is in cursive is a throwback !!

word count // approx. 10k

tw // drinking but legal ! (let me know if i forgot any!)

playlist // here

authors note // this one took me a hot minute and i’m not sure if i’m 100% happy with it but i think it’s the best i can do for it at this point! i hope you enjoy it nonetheless! and also sorry for just disappearing haha i’ll try to write more/faster in the future and summer is coming up so, be prepared!

! reminder ! everything i write about on here is entirely fictional and in no way am i saying this is how the boys would act in real life ❥

i. like downpour you come and go

Jeno sighed as the raindrops hit the concrete. He was currently seeking shelter from the violent rainfall at a bus stop. Just moments ago, the sky had been a vibrant blue, and now it was painted all grey. A groan of frustration left the young man when he realized he didn’t bring his umbrella. Just great. He really wasn’t sure why he agreed to meet up with Donghyuck, when he could have spent his day off at home, avoiding the current downpour. But a few days ago, the promise of a beautiful day outside with one of his best friend convinced him. On top of this series of unfortunate events, that albeit were out of his control, irked him incredibly nonetheless, Hyuck had texted him a few minutes ago that he was going to run late. That of course was to be expected, and Jeno had actually taken Donghyuck’s usual fashionably late arrival into consideration when he left his apartment, but he still arrived at the park before his friend did. He just hoped Hyuck would arrive soon.

A notification from his phone crushed this wish, however. He frowned reading the text he had had just received.

Hyuck: Hey sorry man, I think its gonna take me another thirty minutes, the trains delayed because of the rain.

Hyuck: but you could go to the café near the bus stop. They make a mean hot chocolate. Wait for me there. See you.

Getting to the café would be a problem Jeno concluded. There was virtually no way for him to get there without getting completely drenched. However, the thought of good hot chocolate convinced him to sprint over there. Besides, it really didn’t seem like Hyuck had left him any choice, saying he’d meet him there.

Unfortunately, Jeno was not the only one to try to sit the rain out at the café, so it was quite literally packed with people. There was not a single table unoccupied, all the waiters were running around, a little stressed, trying to get every new customer their order. It seemed they hadn’t expected the rain either and were understaffed for the business boom caused by the sudden weather change.

For the third time today Jeno was tempted to let out a dramatic sigh and wish that he had stayed home, but out of the corner of his eye, at the far back of the café he saw a table for two, occupied by one. Normally Jeno wouldn’t go up to a stranger and ask if they could share the table, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

The table was somewhat secluded from the hectic main area of the small café. Jeno was surprised that anyone had spotted it at all. He suspected that the young woman sitting at the table must be a regular and in the café before the rain had started, or else she wouldn’t have been able to secure such a nice, quiet space to finish her work. Jeno approached the table, but with her gaze fixed on the screen of the laptop in front of her, she didn’t seem to notice him advancing in her direction.

Jeno cleared his throat, “Excuse me?”

The second that the young woman’s eyes moved from her work to Jeno, his heart literally stopped. Well, figuratively stopped. He realized that the young woman he had hoped would share her table with him was you. Technically meeting you wouldn’t be such a big deal, if only it hadn’t been so long and if only, he hadn’t left the way he did.

Staring back at him, you looked just as surprised as he did. Eyes wide open and slight confusion written over your features.

“Hi,” Jeno breathed out, “I didn’t realize it was you. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to disturb you while working.”

A quick smile was thrown in your direction and then he was ready to turn around and leave. He was honestly just planning on going back out into the rain, which he hoped would wash away the embarrassment he had just felt from this very one-sided interaction. Even though you had had little choice in that matter.

You were too stunned by seeing Jeno again after all these years to immediately react. Your mind was racing quite a bit and you only really comprehended what had happened when you were already faced with the man’s back. So, just like that Lee Jeno reentered your life on a rainy day, just like he once had. This time he was quicker to leave you behind, though. You sighed.

May was always especially rainy and on this particular day in May you were incredibly unfortunate. Usually, you always had an umbrella with you, just in case, but you had lent it to a classmate just a week prior, and he hadn’t given it back yet. The morning had already been incredibly suffocating with the humid weather, so your mom reminded you to bring an umbrella to school, but in your morning rush you had forgotten to take an extra one with you. So, here you were standing just beyond the main entrance of your school, willing the downpour to halt, just for your way home, then the rain could fall as much as it liked. You just had to get home. 15 minutes, max.

You were just about to call your mom to pick you up when you, noticed someone with what looked like your umbrella move past you. The audacity some people had. “Hey! You!” you glared and shouted after the figure.

The student came to an abrupt halt, turning around and pointing at himself with a confused look. He was an upper classman, and it was obvious that he was startled by a younger student, such as yourself, talking to him in a demanding manner. Such manner that it made him seriously think that he had wronged the girl in some way.

You ran through the rain to get to the boy as fast as you could, to retrieve your umbrella and give the boy a piece of your mind. Even though it had only been a split of a moment you were out in the rain, you could already feel the fallen water on your skin. Your hair must’ve already curled its way back to its natural state, so you weren’t surprised to see the surprise on Lee Jeno’s face as you appeared in front of him in such close proximity. The umbrella was just big enough to shield both of your bodies from the rain. You must’ve looked crazy.

Even in all of his confusion the thought that you were pretty crossed his mind. Or the thought that you would be pretty had you not such a serious, maybe angry, definitely annoyed expression written over your face. Generally, Jeno thought you were pretty even with such a expression overtaking your features, but since it was directed towards him, he was slightly worried.

“That’s my umbrella.” You stated matter-of-factly.

Normally you wouldn’t talk to an upper classman in such rude fashion, but you had had a really rough day and just wanted to get home not thoroughly soaked. Studying his features, you recognized the boy in front of you. You knew who he was. The whole school knew who Lee Jeno was; stellar student and star athlete. Captain of the school’s Baseball team. You also heard that he was nice and helpful in moments of need. All you needed him to do right now was give back your umbrella.

He looked at you confused, “It’s my friend’s, Park Jisung’s”

Park Jisung. Said classmate you lent your umbrella to a week ago. He had begged you to lend it to him, since he had to carry some comic book, which apparently was worth more than his yearly allowance and Chenle (another one of your classmates) would most definitely kill him if he got it wet. You agreed since you had actually brought extra rainfall protection on that day. Now, of course, you were regretting the decision.

You sighed, “No it’s mine. I lent it to Jisung last week and he hasn’t given it back. See it’s my initials on here.” You pointed to the bottom of the handle, where in neat handwriting your initials adorned the umbrella.

“Oh.”, was all Jeno said. However, he still held onto what was now established to have been your umbrella.

“Well?” you asked expectantly, “Can I have it back?”

“But then I don’t have an umbrella.” He looked at you, brows furrowed.

“That is in all frankness not my problem.” You reached to grab the umbrella from him, but in a swift motion, almost a reflex, Jeno took a step back, leaving you exposed to the heavy rain, mouth open in shock.

Jeno had never pulled someone towards him so quickly. He hoped the grip on your arm wouldn’t leave marks, but when he had taken a step back, to keep the umbrella in his grasp, he hadn’t thought as far ahead as you standing in the rain without anything shielding you from it. In any other scenario Jeno would have blushed, being so close to a girl, but he was just so shocked and surprised with himself to actually comprehend the even closer than before proximity of your body.

“Sorry.” He whispered almost inaudibly.

You scoffed. Was this guy for real? With the added wetness to your school uniform and hair your body began to shiver despite the somewhat warm May temperatures. Now you really wanted to get home. You were about to curse at the boy in front of you when he stripped off his blazer and placed it over your shoulders.

“I’ll walk you home.” He stated, smiling comfortingly, as if it was a solution to all of your problems.

You narrowed your eyes at him, “No.” Jeno’s eyes went wide at that, never once had someone rejected his offer to walk them home. He himself thought it was sweet to do such acts of service. Before he could rephrase his offer and explain what he had meant, you continued, “I’ll walk you home.”

Now Jeno was blushing.

ii. flowers are a gift from the earth. and a reward from me, for you

It was a slow day. In every aspect. Spring break meant that there were barely any university students in town. Well, barely any but you. You were working in an empty shop, while it was the most beautiful day outside. You sighed, seeing the beams of light come through the glassy front of the shop which overlooked a small square. You loved to work in the flower shop, really. It was one of the best jobs you’ve had so far. You loved interacting with the customers, creating beautiful bouquets to give to their loved ones. You thrived off of the love, as well as the general distraction from whatever was going on in your life. That’s why, on days like these, when it was just you and the flowers, both doomed to observe the sunny outside world, your mind wandered to places you’d rather it didn’t.

The short and coincidental interaction you had with Jeno just a few days ago occupied your mind more than you had hoped it would. It seemed like he couldn’t get away fast enough. It was obvious that he hadn’t recognized you at first, but it would be a lie for you to say you hadn’t done everything in your power to distract your mind from him the second he had stepped into the shop, all disgruntled and annoyed from the rain. Your first instinct was to laugh about it and wave him over, as if he was here to see you. Thankfully you were able to muffle that instinct as soon as it rose up from deep inside of you. The distraction part was also going fairly well, until the young man decided to march right up to and ask something, you weren’t really sure what it was, just to turn around within five seconds, giving you no time to react. It was a little overwhelming seeing him again after all this time.

When you had told your roommate Minjeong about it, she burst out laughing. But upon seeing your expression she placed a hand on your back. Her face turned from teasing to empathetic and almost worried within a split-second. A small smile its way onto her face, “Still hurts, huh?”

You just nodded, bringing your knees up to your chest and sighing once more, to let all of the unspoken feelings out, without actually speaking them still.

The truth was back when Jeno and you parted ways, it was sort of mutual. Sort of because, while you didn’t not want to be what you were right now, Jeno’s points and worries made sense. He was graduating high school a year before you were, going to university kind of far away. So, you decided to break up, if you can even call it that since technically you were never officially each other’s significant other. Still, you considered yourself to be Jeno’s, and you were sure he considered himself yours as well. Back then it was easy for all of your girlfriends to paint Jeno as the villain, giving him dirty looks at school, for the little remaining time he was still roaming your school’s hallways. You knew it couldn’t have been easy for him either.

It still was easy enough for him to leave town without a last goodbye, though. When you found out from Jisung that Jeno had left right after graduation, and didn’t say a final goodbye, or anything at all really, it was easy to believe the words your friends had to say about him. And for a time, you did. But soon the anger turned into hurt, which eventually got more and more dull until you barely noticed it on a day-to-day basis. Only certain things, sounds, smells brought back the memory of your love that never really got to be what could have been. Well, could have, would have, should have, didn’t.

So here you were, wallowing in your first, and so far, only love that mattered. All of this made you just sadder so, to make it go away you decided to just let your head rest on the counter before you. It smelt like fresh cut flowers even more intensely than the shop already did. Trapped in your busy brain you didn’t notice the bell at the door ring.

“Is the shop closed?” an unsure male voice called from the entrance.

You were quick to react, happy that there was someone to take your mind off of Jeno, “Nope. No. I’m here. Sorry.” You said, lifting your head quickly off the table.

You had to stifle a laugh when you saw who had stepped into the flower shop. Was this fate playing some incredibly vicious joke? Whatever you had done in your past life must’ve been quite the crime, you concluded.

In front of you stood none other than Lee Jeno, who to be fair looked just as bamboozled to see you. You let out one sigh before saying a soft greeting to the man. Now that he wasn’t running away from you, you could study his features. He hadn’t changed much. The main difference was merely his more adult look, but put him in a school uniform and boom, you’d be back to being 17 and in love with the kindest, sweetest boy you had ever met.

Your heart ached at the thought that he was probably here to buy flowers for his girlfriend, nonetheless, you had to keep the business going, “What can I get for you today? Something pre-made or would you rather select the flowers for your own bouquet?”

Jeno was taken aback by your professional /read cold/ behavior. Despite the polite smile on your face, he couldn’t recognize any of your warm, welcoming expressions from high school (experienced by Jeno only after he had given back your umbrella, of course). Then again, basically running away from you last week couldn’t have helped his cause. Other than the change in expression towards him you still looked just as graceful as you did in high school.

When Jeno had first noticed you back then he was far from brave enough to talk to you. He knew you were friends, well classmates, with Chenle and Jisung, but he still struggled to find a reason to introduce himself to you. That’s also why he thanked a higher power for the unexpected downpour that one day, as well as everything else that followed.

“I’ll just take the one with the sunflower. But could you please wrap it?” he spoke softly, as if he was asking you to do an impossible task. The impossible task of wrapping up his new girlfriend’s flowers?

You just hummed softly, taking the bouquet off the stand, and bringing it to the back of the counter. For Jeno the silence was suffocating, for you it was welcome. You were focused on working right now anyways. Concentrating on getting the flowers wrapped as gently as possible.

“How have you been?”

Jeno’s question caught you by surprise. You halted your current actions and looked at him. It wasn’t a necessarily unhappy look, but Jeno still felt exposed under your gaze. Well, besides the fact that he had just interrupted your delicate wrapping of his bouquet, as well as practically sprinted out of a café at the sight of you, you just weren’t sure what he was looking for with asking the question.

Jeno was tense looking at you, looking at him, but after a moment or two your features softened, and you turned your attention back to his purchase. You nodded softly, “I’ve been good. Busy. Good-busy, though.”

Jeno let out a relieved sigh, “That’s good.”

You threw a small smile in his direction, finishing up the packed bouquet and handing it to him. He politely thanked you as he took it from you, paid, and with that he was out the shop.

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding, bringing a cooling hand to your cheek you tried to calm your nerves, before tackling the cleaning of the stray leaves and blossoms that decided they didn’t want to be part of Jeno’s bouquet.

You picked up one of them and brought it closer to your eyes, to get a better look at it before softly whispering, “the others are traitors, thank you for staying.” You then proceeded to giggle at your own silliness before actually continuing to tidy up.

What you didn’t know was, that Jeno was watching you through the window. He smiled at your habit of being soft and vulnerable when you thought no one was watching. You used to do that a lot, however, Jeno almost always got to sneakily witness those moments. There even was a time you would act that way around him without hiding. Of course, he couldn’t hear what you had said, if he had he probably wouldn’t have come to the conclusion that you were happy, but you looked happy.

You: smiling. Over the past two weeks Jeno had been fortunate enough to be able to see you like that a lot more often than he was used to. He was also lucky enough to have gotten to know you better ever since that fateful day in the rain. Now, here he was on your second date, well hang out, watching you ramble on about anything and everything while sipping on the Capri Sun you had brought to share. Initially, you had brought two, of course, but Jeno had already finished his and you had offered him another sip from yours, so he had stolen one or two from your pack as well. You said it was ok.

“If I fail my history test tomorrow, it’s totally your fault.” You stated as you happily strolled along the park, not at all worried about said test, Jeno noted.

You two were actually supposed to study. The both of you had another two tests just before a short break. Your history test was dreaded by all the students of your grade, and Jeno, having already taken the test, suggested he’d help you study for it. From the beginning you suspected you wouldn’t get a lot of studying done and that the plans with Jeno would definitely stir up your whole day. Actually, you were quite sure that Jeno would stir up your whole life, turn it upside down.

“You won’t fail the test. It’s pretty easy actually, I don’t know what all the fuss is about.” He chuckled to himself. He had scored a 93% last year, and from what he had gathered he was sure you were a lot smarter than him, “besides, it’s so nice outside today. It’d be a tragedy if we spent it cooped up in the library all day. Consider this a short break, we are only stretching our legs for a minute.” Jeno proceeded to dramatically stretch his limbs, groan and sigh, leaving you giggling, shoving him lightly.

“Ok mister, I play video games all night but can’t sit still two hours to study without my body getting stiff.”

“I actually move quite a bit when I play video games!”

“Oh, I’m sure you do.” You laughed. Despite being slightly worried about the exam, it was nice taking a break. Or taking the rest day off, as you suspected it would turn into a full-afternoon-adventure.

“Tell you what, I’ll ask you one of the most asked history questions ever, and if you get it right, you stop worrying about the test and embrace the afternoon plus I will give you this daisy,” he quickly picked up the tiny flower from the grass beside the walkway, “and if you don’t get it right, you definitely need the break because there’s no way you will get this wrong.”

“So, either way we’ll spend the afternoon not studying?”

“It’s called self-care” he smiled his infamous eye-smile. You shook your head; it was foul play. Jeno knew you were weak for his smile. Well, he probably knew you were weak for him.

“Okay. Shoot. What’s the question?”

“When was Rome founded?”

You laughed, “You really think Mr. History Teacher is going to ask questions like this?”

“Sounds like you’re avoiding answering. You’re right, Y/N, maybe you should be worried.” He dramatically shook his head.

“753 BC. Idiot.” You glared at him while he just smiled, proud that you knew your romans.

Jeno grabbed your arm the get you to slow down and halt in front of him, “Don’t you want your reward?” he smirked.

Your cheeks were burning and judging by Jeno’s smirk, he knew what he was doing to you. Ever so slowly, he tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear, and moments later placed the daisy behind it. He looked at you as though you were the most precious painting in the world. You whispered a small thanks and then the two of you continued you way through your study-free, sun-filled afternoon.

As time went on, you talked about all sorts of things; Your families, music, and goals after graduating. (After all you hadn’t really known each other for all that long.) The last topic left a bittersweet taste in Jeno’s mouth; He was excited about finishing high school, sure, but you had another whole year of school before you, and while your maybe-relationship (?) was incredibly premature and the two of you were only getting to know each other for now, Jeno knew how he felt. He knew how much he liked you, and he just didn’t want to stop anytime soon. Or ever. But for now, break was coming up and Jeno was sure to remind you to make time for him. It made your heart flutter. The attention Jeno gave you was unlike any other you had ever gotten before. Looking back, you were so happy that Jisung didn’t give back your umbrella right away (or ever really). You smiled contently as you walked side by side the last rays of golden sunlight warming your skin. A small smile adorned your lips as Jeno casually slipped his arm around your shoulder to pull you closer.

“It’s gonna get chilly soon, we should preserve the warmth.” He was blushing slightly. Since the umbrella incident Jeno had managed to control his blushing a little better, only turning three to four shades redder when he came in sudden contact with your body. He wouldn’t have it any other way though, it confirmed his feelings, and he liked the butterflies.

So as expected and promised, the short study break turned into an afternoon full of laughter, every thought of history cast aside except the one you were making for your own lives. With the golden light fading and the sky slowly turning into a twinkling, tiny polka-dot pattern, Jeno dropped you off at home. The warmth of the day had subsided, but you didn’t even notice the change of temperature as a gentle kiss was placed onto your cheek, warming you up from the inside out.

You hadn’t even properly processed the kiss, before the boy made another swarm of butterflies erupt inside of you, “Hey Y/N? If you get a higher mark on that history test, I’ll buy you real flowers, okey? But if my score ends up being higher, you’ll buy me some!”

You chuckled, your hand finding the daisy behind your ear. Challenge accepted.

iii. let me hold your hand, so you don’t fall for someone else

Days were long, boring, and filled with thoughts of you. Jeno hadn’t actually seen you since that day at the flower shop, yet he seemed to see you everywhere. Daisies blooming, umbrellas everywhere, and hell, Donghyuck’s new dorm room was room Nr. 753. (so technically he was also thinking of ancient Rome?)

When Jeno had first told Hyuck about his little encounter at the coffee shop, he burst out laughing and kept bringing it up throughout their whole meet-up. Most of Jeno’s friends had always been Y/N-enthusiasts, so Jeno was sure there was some hope, some hidden agenda in Donghyuck’s continuous mentioning of you. It would’ve been a lie for Jeno to say that you and everything he had felt, he feels, for you was in the past, so he chose not to talk about you at all.

It was hard. Especially after seeing you again in the flower shop, all he wanted to do was tell Hyuck how happy you looked, and how bad he felt for wanting to be included in your happiness. However, he didn’t deserve to have such demands after leaving. Back then you were determined to make things work and Jeno was quite overwhelmed with the ending of his childhood. Staying friends is what he suggested, and although he could see that it hurt you, you agreed. But in the end, it wasn’t what Jeno wanted at all. He was in love with you, he just wasn’t sure how to handle such strong feelings in a time of such change. And thus, he just left. Friends don’t leave their friends without saying goodbye. Not when they go home after a movie marathon and certainly not when they leave for university. Sending a message was the least he could do, and he typed it out, but he just never hit send.

In any case, Jeno was sure your happiness was more than complete, even without him. So as Donghyuck was putting the flowers Jeno had gifted him into a vase, and he kept teasing him about how it was sweet that he knew each of the guys’ favorite flower, Jeno was thinking of you. And as the small dorm filled with the rest of their friends, he was thinking of you. And as he walked home that night, he was thinking of you. And the next day, he was thinking of you.

The first time Jeno really wished he could stop thinking of you was a rather unexpected one. Jeno would’ve bet his throwing-arm on the certain emptiness of the library during spring break. There was virtually no way anyone else would be between the bookshelves, except for the people that actually worked at the library of course.

In an attempt to simply lower the volume of the tiny voice inside his head that kept chanting your name, Jeno decided to stop by the library to pick up a few books he would be needing for upcoming essays and whatnot. The bike stands in front of the building were almost empty. Only few bicycles scattered around the metallic constructs, some put up properly, others toppled over. Jeno was almost certain that the bikes were either placed there for a quick stop to the convenience store on the other side of the road, or that they had already been there and not been moved for the majority of the semester. In any case, Jeno was counting on the library being empty, as well as it being a quick visit of picking up books and then getting back to his apartment and possibly calling up the boys for an afternoon in the park.

The cool air-conditioned atmosphere and the smell of books welcomed Jeno as the doors slid open, inviting him in. The old lady working at the front desk was sitting comfortably reading a book; a good sign for no one being in the library, no books to put away. It was also quiet. Well, it was a library after all. But during the semester, when the library was full of desperate students, there were always some sounds, even if it was only the turning of pages. The lady barely acknowledged Jeno as he walked past her determinedly. Jeno knew where the books were that he needed so he didn’t need her until he was actually checking them out.

Strolling through the rows and rows of bookshelves, Jeno couldn’t help but feel some sort of comfort. This was an environment he knew pretty well; it was also because outside of baseball, Jeno never really did much but study. Of course, he had hobbies like gaming and hanging out with his friends, but he also cared about his grades, so he always made sure to have enough time to study. Days like these would’ve been a portal straight back to the past if it wasn’t for the lack of you. Jeno shook his head at his thoughts wandering off towards your direction once again. He sighed, sliding the last book he needed off the shelf and turning back to head towards the exit.

Just as he was about leave the aisle of books, he spotted someone familiar sitting at one of the tables. He had to refrain from audibly sighing. From what he could tell, you sat alone at one of the tables at the far end of the so-called study space. The window front let in enough light for students to not get sleepy during their endless hours of studying, and at this very moment your gaze was turned towards the outside world. Jeno just stood and stared for a second. Was this really happening? Running into you for the third time in only 2 weeks, this must be some sort of sign, right? Divine intervention to get you back to him. But just as Jeno worked up enough courage to go say hi to you, invite you out to coffee maybe, just as he had gotten his legs to work again, as he took the first step in your direction, a head popped up beside yours. A male head.

Jeno once again stopped and stared. Your mouth turned into a smile as the young man next to you whispered something into your ear. Shaking your head, you shoved him back into his seat and he once again disappeared behind the wall. Looking at the scene now, it was clear that you weren’t alone; Two bottles of water were placed on top of the table in front of you, numerous textbooks were stacked on top of each other, none of them for your major and at an even closer inspection, you were reading a novel. So, you weren’t studying at all, simply accompanying your… boyfriend? You kept smiling at the guy in front of you, you kept giving him the attention Jeno wanted, the attention Jeno once had, the attention he had lost. He appeared once more from behind the wall and grabbed your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours.

Had Jeno stayed a moment longer, had he not turned around the second the other male’s fingers wrapped themselves around yours, he would’ve seen you pulling your hand from his grasp and sticking your tongue out to your friend in mockery. But he didn’t. So Jeno concluded that this was not a sign for him to talk to you. This wasn’t divine intervention to get the two of you back together. It was the message for him to move on. So, as he checked out his books, he tried not to think about you. Walking back home, he tried not to think about you. Entering his apartment, he tried not to think about you.

Jeno wasn’t used to not succeeding at things. He had always done fairly well with everything, so why was this any different. If only he had held onto your hand a little bit longer, if only he had held it a little bit tighter, then maybe you wouldn’t be falling for someone else.

“Y/N” a soft voice woke you from your sleep. In all honesty you weren’t entirely sure when you had fallen asleep but the position of your head on the book in front of you, as well as the pain in your neck, indicated that it wasn’t an intentional nap. You hadn’t fully opened your eyes yet, when another statement was made by the soft voice, “You’re drooling allover your novel.” With a surprising speed your hand flew to the corner of your mouth checking if what was had been said was true (it was not), but you were only met with a giggling Jeno.

“Ha ha. Very funny, Jeno, thank you so much for the entertainment. I should hire you as my alarm.”

“Does that mean I get to wake up next to you every morning?”

You playfully rolled your eyes in an attempt to control the butterflies in your belly.

The two of you had spent the afternoon in the school-library. Jeno studying for his final exams and you reading. The afternoon quickly evolved into nighttime and looking outside now you were met with a pitch-black darkness, that did not look welcoming at all. Observing the outside, you let out a sigh, sleep still heavily clouding your brain.

Jeno on the other hand was looking at you, smiling. Before you fell asleep, he couldn’t get any studying done because he loved watching your facial expressions while you read. After you fell asleep, he couldn’t get any work done because he was busy just staring at you and listening to you breathe. There was a small smile on his features at all times, he noted to not invite you along to (serious) study sessions again.

Only then did you realize that Jeno had already packed up all of his things, “Are we leaving already? I’m not tired at all I could do this for another 3 hours minimum!” you smiled up at him, stretching your arms theatrically.

“Okay sure, sleepy head, but what you’re forgetting is that you have a curfew, and as the responsible young man that I am, I shall bring you home at least fifteen minutes before then.” He stated, smiling at you, and reaching out his hand for you to grab.

You checked the time, and it was true, your curfew was coming up rather fast and you really had to get home. You placed your hand in his and watched as his fingers wrapped around yours, the warmth from his hand spreading all the way to your heart. Too focused on the love you had for the boy in front of you, you didn’t realize that apparently your legs weren’t completely awake just yet, resulting in the first step being somewhat off? And then the next one had you stumbling completely. So, two steps in and you were already on your way to hit the floor.

But thank God for Lee Jeno. Thanks to him and his incredibly strong arms as well as very nice reflexes he caught you just in time spinning you towards him instead of the ground. Both of your eyes were big in surprise, staring back at each other. You opened your mouth in an attempt to thank him but his lips forming into themselves into a grin, made you reconsider your words for another moment. And that resulted in Jeno being faster with his reaction to the incident.

“Falling pretty fast for me, huh?” he smirked.

Your lips turned into a smile, “That totally ruined the moment just now, do you know that Lee Jeno?”

“Oh no not the government name.” He feigned fear, opening his mouth, and widening his eyes. This expression was soon replaced by what you could tell was a genuine smile, “You’re not going to move away?” he asked, suddenly somewhat shy.

Too caught up in Jeno’s joke and the general situation to have actually moved away, you hurriedly took a step back to give the boy in front of you some space. But before you foot could even hit the ground again, Jeno pulled you in once more, smiling. He promptly placed a soft kiss on your forehead (something he had seldom done before, especially in public!) and then placed his arm around your shoulder, leading you out of the library.

“Let’s get you home, sleepy head.”

You were sure your face was glowing with all the blushing it had been doing in the past moments. While the heat radiating from it welcomed the cooler night-air, the fresh air did little help to calm your racing heart.

iv. let’s stray alone

The world was spinning. Moving too fast and it seemed like you just couldn’t catch up with it. Your brain wasn’t doing you any favors by making everything blurry. Maybe downing that last drink wasn’t the greatest of your ideas. Your feet halted for a second as you tried to stop the carousel that seemed to be the ground for a second. You had to get yourself together in order to get home as soon as possible.

You had gone out for drinks with some of your friends and not planned on getting this intoxicated. There really wasn’t any occasion for your celebration, although it is important to say that Minjeong referenced to the evening as a mourning-party for you, since you clearly had fallen once again for Lee Jeno. You really wanted to contradict her, and you almost did, but then again you knew there was no point in lying to your best friend. She had observed you each and every day since Jeno came into the flower shop, thus Minjeong knew exactly what was going on. Contrary to its name, the outing today was actually supposed to keep your mind off your high school romance and keep the mere idea of men out of all your brains. It was doing a pretty good job (which was surprising since most of Minjeong’s Missions ended in chaos) until Lee Donghyuck walked into the bar of your choice. And thus, chaos spread. At least in your mind.

“You gotta be kidding me.” Minjeong sighed. Confused you followed her gaze. At the sight of your former school mate, you almost had to laugh. “There’s no way Jeno will show up, is there?”

“Lee Jeno is haunting you, Y/N” one of your other friends said giggling.

“It’s fate! Destiny! I’ve always said Jeno was your soulmate” another one chimed in, excited at the thought of your romance.

Minjeong scoffed, “Jeno doesn’t deserve Y/N, not after the way he left.” She turned to you, “You okay, bubs? We can leave if you want?”

While you appreciated Minjeong’s offer, you knew she had wanted to go a club after this, so in a swift motion you gulped down the drink in front of you and shook your head, “I don’t want to spoil anyone’s fun. I’m just going to go home and relax there, where the possibilities of running into Jeno are zero.”

“Never say never!” your friend chimed in making, most of the girls at the table laugh and you roll your eyes.

Minjeong just nodded along, watching you slip on your jacket. “You sure you don’t need me to walk you home? You know it’s not far, I can be back in like 30 minutes. You had quite a few drinks.”

It was true, your apartment wasn’t far, and you really had a few drinks, but with flushed cheeks and a small smile you declined her once again and headed to the door. You risked one last look back at where you saw Donghyuck, regretting it instantly. He was watching you, knowing him, he probably had been for quite some time. He offered you a smile, which of course you reciprocated. You had always liked Jeno’s friends. They were incredibly welcoming in high school and in the couple of years where Jeno was playing baseball out of town, you had seen them a few times and caught up a bit. But now with his apparent return to your hometown and thus the possibility of Jeno showing up any second, and further confusion for you and your apparently not gone feelings for him, you decided to just throw Hyuck a small wave. Finally, you escaped from a for your heart potentially difficult situation.

So here you were: Drunk, almost home and most definitely scared of still being in love with Lee Jeno.

You remember your mom telling you once that cool night air is the best remedy for intoxication, and up until this starlit night you would have stood by this, but tonight it seemed to not work its magic at all. Sitting down on a park bench just behind your apartment building you let out sigh looking up at the sky. Bad idea. Who would’ve thought that looking up would actually make the spinning worse? Quickly you lowered your head and stood up again deciding it was time to finally get to your apartment.

Taking the way you had, meant you had to go through a sketchy ally which then led straight to the entrance of your building, and it was also where the stray cats lived. You smiled to yourself thinking of the many days you stopped by to feed them and got some cuddles in return. Not all of them loved you, of course, but you were proud to say that all of them at least tolerated you (meaning none were hissing at you anymore). Turning the corner, you were still smiling about your furry neighbors, Jeno somewhat forgotten at the thought of getting to pet them.

You were pulled out of your thoughts as your feet came to an abrupt halt. The cats were there. But there was also someone else. Crouched down, stroking the kitties as they happily munched on what you could only presume was provided by the host. Your breath hitched, suddenly everything you did was too loud, and you could swear any second now he would turn around and see you just standing there, watching him like a creep. No. Nope. You were definitely too drunk to talk to Jeno right now. As well as too fragile, if you were being honest.

Carefully and quietly, you took the few steps back behind the corner you had just turned. You breathed out. The guarantee of invisibility thanks to the wall allowing you to gather your thoughts. Arguing with yourself whether or not you should just go up to Jeno, you took a peek. He was now sitting on the road, one of the cats settled comfortably in his lap. You didn’t have to see his face to know what look was on it. A soft smile spread across your features as you watched the boy you once came to love interact with the cats that have brought you comfort countless of times. You hoped he found comfort in them too. You heard Jeno let out a small sigh, barely audible, as he played with one of the kittens.

Caught up in his own thoughts Jeno was happy to have stumbled upon the strays. He was on his way home, after dinner with the guys. Donghyuck had insisted on them getting drinks later, but Jeno had refused, alcohol wouldn’t help his aching heart and he would end up drunkenly calling you or worse running into you, with his luck. Of course, he didn’t tell Donghyuck that, who would just insist on him tagging along. Jeno knew deep inside he wanted to run into you again, just so that he could finally tell you everything he’s been holding inside, how sorry he is he left the way he did, how much he has been thinking about you and most importantly how he never stopped being in love with you.

Who knew he would unknowingly end up in front of your apartment? Fate had its ways.

“What am I going to do, huh?” he asked the cat in front of him. Looking around Jeno had come to the conclusion that somebody was taking care of them; toys were lying around, and water bowls stood filled up to the brim. “Someone’s been taking good care of you. Hopefully they show you all the love you deserve. I’m sure you take good care of them, too. You think someone will take care of me too?” Jeno chuckled at the silliness of talking to cats about his troubles. But his heart was heavy, and he wasn’t used to feeling this way. The past years he was doing okay, thinking of you every now and again, having fond memories together and re-awakened the occasional butterflies, but now? The thought of you brought a longing and regret.

Jeno had no idea that you were watching him. I mean how would he know? Hidden behind a wall was not only you, but your heart as well. Hearing Jeno say these words confused you more than ever. Only a few years ago you were sure you and Jeno would end up together, now? You were hoping for it deep down, but you weren’t entirely sure how to go on about it. It was just a little more complicated than either of you had anticipated.

The first stone for the wall around your heart was set when Jeno asked you to talk. Technically that wasn’t too out of the ordinary. The two of you always talked but it was the way he phrased it that worried you. It was how he didn’t grab your hand pulling you away from your friends, how he didn’t place his hand on your lower back to lead you outside, and most importantly it was how reluctantly he spoke and how he didn’t really look at you.

Just days ago, the two of you were smiling and laughing together. The feelings you felt for the boy were so intense, almost overwhelming, but you wouldn’t have had it any other way. Back then, you wanted to tell Jeno you loved him. (You didn’t verbally, but he knew. Exactly how you knew he loved you.)

Now, here you were standing in front of the boy you loved, who was avoiding your gaze at all costs. Deep down you were hoping he was just nervous to /finally/ ask you to be his girlfriend, but you knew that wasn’t why he wanted to talk.

“Is everything okey?” stepping forward you tried to seek out eye contact, growing more worried by the second. Over the past few months, you had gotten to know Jeno quite well, and while it was a fairly trouble-free time, you had experienced him worrying. Mainly about the future and how his childhood was coming to an end. But this was different. Jeno was afraid of losing you, that had always remained unspoken. But now, he just wasn’t sure how to make things work.

“I’m not sure how we should go on about this.” He still wasn’t looking at you directly, which only added to your nervousness.

“What do you mean exactly?” You blinked confused, taken aback by the statement. You weren’t exactly sure how he expected you to react to this. You understood his worries, however you always figured you were going to come up with some sort of plan together, that maybe during summer you were going to work things out together.

“I think, I think we should just be friends.” Jeno thought his voice gave away that this wasn’t what he really wanted. In the end he wasn’t entirely sure why he was doing what he was doing. It’s not like it was the lack of feelings that proposed a problem but rather the overwhelming love he felt for you. Everything was a lot, it was just too much, and no matter how cruel it sounded, you were the thing he could get rid of most easily. He couldn’t stop time from moving forward, he couldn’t not graduate and not go to college. So not pursuing the love he had for you was the easiest way to lessen the weight of change. Even though it was the last thing his heart wanted him to do.

“Oh.” At first you were just relieved that he was alright. But then the reality of what being friends implied hit you, “Right.” You breathed out.

Jeno’s eyes met yours for the first time. Jeno could see you close yourself off towards him. He tried to explain everything he was feeling as best he could, without hurting you any further and without admitting his feelings making things even harder for the both of you. He tried to lessen your weight as well. But you just nodded along to what he was saying, gaze fixed on a spot on the floor. Jeno could see you holding back tears, he too, was trying to stay composed, keeping up the façade of doing this for the ‘greater good’. It was just the easy way out, really.

“Are you okey?” his voice was soft, as though he was handling something incredibly fragile, which in some ways he was.

At last, you looked at him with a small smile on your lips, but not one that spread warmth around his heart. This smile was distant. A single tear escaped your eye, but you were quick to wipe it away, “Well, I can’t say it is what I would have wanted, but if it is what you want, there’s not much I can do, right? So,” you tilted your head and smiled a tad bit wider, still not fooling Jeno, “Friends?”

It wasn’t what he wanted. It wasn’t what he wanted at all, but at the same time he really didn’t know what else to do. He knew you weren’t going to force him to do something he didn’t want to do, but it still hurt to hear you say that this is not what you wanted. It laid out the blame loud and clear. And you were right. You thought that this was something the two of you would talk about together. That the process of figuring Jeno’s post-graduation was something the two of you would do together. So, in the end he made a decision you should’ve made together, alone.

The thought of being friends with Jeno while still feeling all this love for him was almost impossible. Comical even. And when he left a week later without saying goodbye, you realized it was impossible for him too. Jeno never wanted to be your friend, he just wanted out and that you couldn’t understand.

v. fate has its ways

Things had been quiet for the past two weeks. The lack of Jeno gave you time to think clearly without freaking out too much. Honestly, at first you were surprised by how much of an effect he still had on you, but after reminiscing in the memories you had with him, you were impressed by not being affected by it more. The good memories made you excited at the thought of meeting Jeno again on accident. You realized pretty soon into your Jeno-escapades that you had forgiven him, that his presence was ever missing from your life. And besides, were many things remained unspoken between the two of you.

Fate definitely was playing games with your heart, since now that you were hoping to see Jeno, you didn’t. Just after he had scrambled up you and your life again, and you were starting to feel happy about it again, he disappeared. Not that it was his fault that you stopped running into him, but every corner you turned you were looking for him, every time the bell at the flower shop rung, signaling a new customer had entered, you hoped it was him, and at every little disturbance at the café you hoped it was Lee Jeno who was pulling you out of your thoughts. Of course, it never was him, always leaving you disappointed, looking for someone who you once loved and were ready to love again. Fate really was cruel.

For Jeno the world was spinning. When Donghyuck had told him that you were at the bar that night, his decision not to go felt like the worst decision anyone had ever made. It felt like missing the jackpot of the lottery by one digit, like bingo, but someone else said it faster. He doubted every decision he made, that didn’t lead him to the bar that night. From what Hyuck had told him, you had left almost immediately after he had arrived, why he didn’t know. But Hyuck had described you as very tipsy so maybe that was the reason why you left? He chuckled at the possibility of experiencing you drunk although he hoped you had gotten home safe that night.

So, Jeno too kept looking for you, everywhere. Although he was not quite as determined to talk to you as you were to talk to him, he longed for your presence in his life and the sunshine it had once brought. He didn’t expect you to be the exact same person as you were in high school (who would be after so many years?), but he was certain that you had only gotten even more perfect over the time you had spent apart, though he wasn’t entirely sure how that would even be possible.

With days filled with the thought of you in addition to his college student responsibilities, the weather had turned warm, and summer was approaching as quickly as ever. Time had gone by much more quickly than usual and Jeno wanted to stop wasting it without you.

Cicadas. The sound of summer. Even in the city they played their music day and night. It never really was quiet in your hometown, too many students celebrating too many occasions. There was always someone playing music too loudly from some corner of your neighborhood, so hearing the loud sounds of the cicadas was refreshing. It was like a welcoming greeting whenever you left your apartment in the evening. Minjeong had left to visit her family over the weekend, which for you meant that you had little to no motivation to cook for yourself. Of course, you still had to eat so you decided on stopping by the store just by your apartment building for some instant dinner.

You were happy on days like these; You had been productive enough to treat yourself to something, yet you hadn’t let the day go by without stopping to enjoy the small moments like listening to the cicadas or lingering on the balcony, in the sun for a moment longer than you normally would have. Jeno crossed your mind every now and then, memories resurfacing you hadn’t realized you even remembered. The semester was coming to an end for the first time in a while you weren’t too confused about your feelings, so you were content.

You sat down on a table inside, overlooking the small crossing in front of the store. You had your food in front of you and looking at it, it felt like a reward. After a day of studying for your final exams all you really needed was good food and a cold iced tea to be happy. So, enjoying your food, you watched life pass by outside, focused on the lives of passing people until a hand tapped your shoulder.

Jeno had ventured into the small corner store in hopes of a refreshing drink, as well as some treats for the stray cats that lived nearby. He was about to leave when he had spotted you, happily munching on your food, gaze fixed on the outside world. He was tempted to just let you be, content in being on your own, enjoying your food, but he didn’t know when he’d run into you again, if he’d run into you again, and after all, he really wanted to see you again, maybe even on purpose the next time. So, he took a leap of faith, and tapped your shoulder.

Neither of you had any idea that the other one had been re-falling in love over the past weeks. That each of you had been quietly longing to see the other again, just to finally go up to them and talk. Overwhelmed by memories and what-ifs, regrets and possible do-overs you were anticipating to be reunited by fate once again.

So, when you turned around, and realized it was Jeno who had tapped your shoulder, your eyes lit up and a smile spread across your face almost instantly, setting free the familiar butterflies in Jeno’s stomach.

“Hi.” You spoke softly, pleasantly surprised (although by now you really shouldn’t be). Your heart was speeding up due to the grin that formed on his lips and the eye-smile that was welcoming you.

He smiled back, ”Hello.”

thank you for reading til the end! i hope you enjoyed it and have a nice day !!! ♡

this piece was written by @yourstruleejn so please don’t post on any other platforms or translate into any other languages! thank u !!!

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continuous-spec · 2 months

Text

ME Fic: Bait (5/5)

Summary: Garrus and Shepard finally have a heart-to-heart.

Link: Ao3

Length: 3k

Shepard normally made her rounds after the Normandy took flight—not that Garrus timed it. But he could guess she'd be at his bay if someone hadn’t held her longer within an hour. It’s been over four hours since they took flight.

Garrus showered to rid himself of the smell of smoke and alcohol. The dust that used to clog his plates and lungs washed off. He stashed his civilian clothes away, and now wore his usual light armor for sleep. He should have been sleeping. Instead, he paced the main battery and reorganized his tools. He found himself forearm-deep in the Thanix cannon when a notification blinked on his omni-tool.

OS: Okay let’s talk, preferably not about krogran piss.

GV: Well there just went my opener

GV: Be up in a few minutes

His heart raced, so Shepard was still awake and toiling over the night's events. Her last words hung in his mind if things would be okay between them.

We will be.

Will be. They could be okay, and she could still want to end things. They could be okay as just friends.

The pit in his stomach still weighed him down. Of all the attention Shepard got tonight from Morinth, the human bartender–Both were closer to home for her.

Garrus moved slowly to the elevator, trying to figure out what to say while walking into the unknown. The cabin door entrance glowed, and waited for him to activate the panel. Garrus clutched his mandible to his jaw. With a light tap, Garrus hit the panel. It spun for only seconds but felt like an eternity of waiting.

The doorway slid open, revealing Shepard with her baggy N7 sweats and hair-tied taut. Red and black eye makeup washed away, the tight dress gone. The bite marks on her neck had healed and dissipated. Back to her usual self, physically anyway. She crossed her arms and leaned against her desk, waiting for him.

“Hey,” Garrus spoke first, unsure how to follow up.

“Hey.” Her voice came out quiet, but her eyes watched him intently. Silence hung in the air between them. Ten feet away, and they felt like strangers.

“So…” Shepard started. “That asari girl was cute.” Her tone was trying to come off light but had a sharp edge.

“Oh, really. Which one?” Garrus played along, hoping to ease the tension.

“Asshole,” Shepard let out a snort of a laugh. “The bubbly one, not the murderous one.”

“Right, right, that one.”

“Is she okay? You took a while to get back to Normandy .” She must have kept track of him. He had spent an hour or so talking with Vlyrica.

“Vlyrica wanted to thank me. She wanted to paint me,” Garrus cringed at what he said. That did not sound great. A loud laugh broke through his panic.

“Oh my god, ‘paint you.’ You fell for that line? So you just went to her apartment, and then what?”

”I know, I know. But she really is an amazing artist.” Shepard’s face soured, but he continued. “Her place was cramped with hundreds of paintings of just people on Omega. And—” Garrus paused, unsure about how to breach the conversation.

“And?” An interrogative tone left Shepard’s lips, but she stood aloofly. Her eyes slighted at him. This must be what jealousy looks like in a human.

“She had a painting of Sensat, one of my men.”

“Holy shit.” Her arms dropped to her side. Any edge she had when he had entered was gone.

“Apparently, she used to see him all the time at the markets. There he was, just staring right back at me, I, um.”

Shepard bridged the distance between them, her hand wrapped around his forearm. Her warmth pressed through the thin fabric of his undersuit. She nodded to the couch for them to sit.

A bottle of wine and half a glass sat on the table with datapads littered around them. They sat only inches away, her hand still on his forearm, and her mint green eyes watched him.

“We’re there other paintings of your men?”

“Omega is almost 8 million. The fact she had one is unthinkable. I just—I’ve been dreading going back there. Seeing Sensat, how he actually was, helped.”

“I’m glad you were able to get that out of all this,” Shepard said with a soft smile.

“Yeah, um, and then we began talking about the rest of my men.” Garrus fidgeted in his seat. This had been the most he shared about them with Shepard.

“She didn’t get far with my painting, but she will paint them. Just so I can have something of them. A good memory for once.”

“Wow, that's amazing. I’d like to hear about them sometime,” she paused, watching him shift uncomfortably. “Only if you want to.”

“I’d like that, just tonight–.” The words failed to come out of his mouth. He didn’t know what to make of tonight.

She squeezed his arm in reassurance. “It’s been a lot. Whenever you want to.” There was a long moment of silence between them. He felt unsure of where to take the conversation next. Confess his feeling of jealousy? Look for reassurance that she was still interested? None of it seemed right.

Shepard broke the silence. “Do you think she’d put two and two together about Archangel? Is that safe that you told her about your men?”

Garrus sighed. This would be an easier conversation, at least.

“I doubt it, but I have no intentions of returning, and besides, to her, I’m some guard named Caeus.”

“Caeus? You don’t look like a Caeus,” Shepard squinted her eyes as she looked at him. “Too formal.”

Garrus laughed. “Well, you don’t look much like an Alison either. The Gunn part is easier to believe.

“Thank Kasumi for that. But this Caeus, just some kind of guard?”

“I told her some crap about being a guard for Aria, doing a sting operation. People don’t tend to go poking around in Aria’s business.”

“Number one rule of Omega,” Shepard said with a roll of her eyes.

“And so this Alison is just some merc looking for guns to hire?”

Shepard shrugged. “I mean, it’s kind of true. I didn’t lie per se. You have this poor girl believing she has a crush on some guard.”

“Well, you have a bartender thinking he’s about to get a date and —.” Shepard stiffened as if she was worried he’d bring up Morinth. Garrus stopped himself, trying to think his following words carefully.

“Look, tonight could have gotten a lot smoother. I wasn’t thinking clearly, watching others hang off you, and being back on Omega. It clouded my judgment.”

Shepard pressed her lips together before speaking, looking as she contemplated her words.

“I know. I didn’t like seeing someone hang off you, either. I know I had to do things I’m not proud of.” She paused, now fidgeting in her seat, eyes cast down. “I guess I wasn’t expecting to see that happen to you, and it ate at me.”

“I tried to push her off me multiple times.”

“It’s the scars. They make you irresistible,” Shepard teased.

“And here I thought it would just be krogran women I had to fight off.” Garrus retorted back.

“Krogran, asari, human.” Shepard corrected. Her hand trailed up to the scarred side of his face. A knowing smile crept up on her lips as she watched him.

“Look Garrus, I care about you a lot, but I can’t just do this–” Garrus' heart sunk into his stomach at her pause. “just hooking up as friends thing.”

She took his free hand, entangling themselves together. Three with five.

“I don’t want anyone or anything in the way of us. You’re important to me.” Her chest and neck bloomed out in a red hue as she spoke.

The visor readings of her heart rate rose, and her breath rate increased. She was as worried as he was for them. A calm washed over him as he leaned into her touch.

“Shepard, you obviously are to me too. I would have much rather have met you at that bar.” The words left his mouth so easily.

Shepard’s eyes lit up as he spoke. She almost bounced out of her seat at the answer. “Oh, okay, how would you introduce yourself? I’m interested.” Her grin flashed out devilishly.

“Shepard–” His dual tones came off as pleading, unsure if she picked that up. He didn’t know how to do this. The flirting, the banter, he was starting to lose steam.

“Come on, have fun with me about this. I want to know.”

“Well, first, I-um, I’d ask to buy you a drink.” Garrus’ mind raced as he panicked, trying to find something.

“Okay, and? I want to hear what you would actually say. Use that voice of yours,” Shepard's same grin was plastered on her face. She was not going to let this go.

“Well, for starters, you looked amazing in that dress.” Garrus’ hand wandered to her waist, her well-formed muscles shifting under her jacket. Shepard sucked in a long breath, her hooded eyes watching him keenly.

“How so?” Her voice pitched high as she played along.

“Showing off your figure, your—,” Garrus paused, unsure what was and wasn’t a compliment to humans. “Supportive waist–”

“Supportive waist?” Her hands shot up to her mouth to stifle a laugh.

“Crap! Is that offensive in human cultures?”

“No, just an odd way of phrasing it.” She giggled.

“Honestly, an odd way of saying it to turians too.”

“Then why say it!” Shepard’s held-back laugh turned into a snort.

“Don't laugh! I’m panicking. Throw me a line here, Shepard!”

“You didn’t seem to have a problem with Vlyrica,” she said with jest.

“Well, I’m not interested in her. You make me nervous.”

“Oh, tell me. How do I make you nervous?” Her voice drawled out.

Without thought, Garrus trailed his hand up her leg to her thigh and squeezed. He leaned into her, almost pushing her into the couch.

“You're smart, sexy, and a wicked shot. What isn’t there to be nervous about?” His voice mirrored hers. Drawled out with dual tones humming together–all signaling want.

Her hands shot up to his carapace, pulling him into her. Shepard's lips pressed to his mouthplates hard. The taste of her wine slipped in with her tongue. Her fingers tightly holding on to him. Floral scents wrapped around him. He wanted to just stay in that moment. Just taking her in, as things were finally going just right.

But she pulled him further into her on the couch, almost having him on top of her. Garrus fumbled a bit, unsure where to grab her, trying to fit themselves together. But soon, they found their rhythm. Her smile pressed into his. His three fingers intertwined into her five.

Shepard pulled back first to catch air, her skin flushed.

“Garrus, I want this. I want this with just you,” she said with a hushed voice.

Her words sent his heart racing and his hands a slight tremble. But his mandible flared out into a wide grin. Garrus was exactly where he wanted to be.

“I want that too.”

He dipped his head back down to her, tracing his mouth plates from her lips to her jaw until he met her neck. He thanked himself for reading the erogenous zone packet as Shepard let out a small gasp.

Her gasp turned to moan as his tongue trailed up her neck and gave a careful tug of her ear. A thrumming hum escaped from him as his hips sunk into hers. His groin plates parted, releasing and throbbing himself against her. The same devilish smile crept up on her face as she grinded against him, and her moans grew louder.

“Shepard—” his voice low and rumbled, full of lust. “You know what you're doing to me.”

Her legs hooked around his waist, pushing herself more into him. “Take me to bed then,” she pleaded.

Garrus hoisted her, palming her ass with a squeeze. Her hands hooked around his neck for support. Within a moment, he had her pinned gently on the bed. His carapace slightly dug into her chest. Long dark strains of hair came loose from her bun, sprawling around her.

He held her by the waist, slowly thrusting and teasing her. Her lips pressed back to him, and once again, he explored her, tasting her, drinking her in. She bucked her hips frantically into his. Her moans spilled into his mouth. Spirits did he feel drunk on her moans.

His claws ran through her hair as he pulled her face closer to him. The twist of strains felt odd as they curled around his hand. They snared in his claws as he tried to shake them loose. Her head jerked back slightly with an accidental tug.

Her body tensed underneath his weight. Garrus swiftly got off her, tightly holding his mandibles to his jaw. Shepard’s eyes locked on the sky window, watching the passing stars. Lost to him again.

“Shepard—.” Garrus’ tone tinged with worry. She snapped back to him.

“I’m fine, please,” she pleaded, pulling him closer and trying to go for another kiss. He pressed his brow plate to her brow instead.

“Shepard, we don’t have to do this now. It’s okay.”

“But I want to, with you,” she pleaded, pulling his carapace closer. “I just…”

“There will be other nights.”

“Fuck! All I could do was look out her window. I was just stuck.” A sob erupted from her throat. “I don’t want to be alone right now.”

“I’m not going anywhere. To hell and back, remember? I want to stay.” He pulled her closer, her head dipping into his cowl. He massaged circles up and down her back. Waiting for her to be ready to talk. This was all still too fresh.

For minutes, silence hung between them. Her arms slowly curled onto his neck, his mouthplates pressed into her head.

“If you want, we can watch the elcor Hamlet production you’ve gone on and on about,” Garrus said softly.

Shepard’s head lifted, her eyes pleading at him. “You’d suffer through that for me?”

“For you? Anything.”

“If we can last the 14 hours, let’s see the krogran Macbeth production showing on Illium.”

Garrus sighed jokingly. “You’re pushing your luck.”

Shepard cuddled into his side, fluffing pillows around them for more comfort as he displayed his omni tool for the vid.

An hour in, Shepard shooed away the vid screen out of boredom. “Why don’t we try for a date night instead? Illium has an aquarium and piano bar I’ve wanted to check out.”

“A date sounds nice. Really anything to get me out of sitting through a play.”

Shepard rolled her eyes at him. “Listen, I appreciate the arts, but I’d like to see how the asari take on the piano. Get enough drinks in me, and I’ll probably start playing something myself.”

“I didn’t know you could play.”

“Well, I am good with my hands,” Shepard’s eyebrows wiggled at him. “But yeah, I used to play as a way to distract myself when I was with the Reds. Like an escape.”

Garrus pulled her in closer, cherishing every moment of learning something new about her. She always found a way to surprise him. She was so much more than the legends people ascribed to her name.

“You know, I’ve actually always wanted to learn how to paint when I was a kid,” Garrus said, trying to share something of himself with her too.

“Why didn’t you?” Shepard looked surprised at that information.

“I told my dad I wanted to take classes, and the next day he was teaching me how to shoot a gun.”

Shepard’s face soured as he spoke, but Garrus shrugged and continued, “It’s the turian way. I’m painting blood on walls now with my rifle.”

“Your rifle, your paintbrush, the battlefield, your canvas.”

“To put it mildly.”

“So can’t be a spectre or an artist according to your dad,” Shepard chipped in.

“Not that he stopped me, but I saw his reason. C-Sec is something down the middle, something ‘safe’.”

“Safe? C-sec?”

“Financially speaking, look where that leads us.”

“Well, I’m pretty happy to have you here with me.”

“The only good thing of my time with C-sec was it led me to you,” Garrus conversed nervously. Shepard smiled and brought a gentle kiss to him. The aquarium's blue lights reflected on her skin's pink hues. Bags grew under her eyes from exhaustion; her sharp orange scars glowed, but she was so beautiful to him.

“What’s your favorite piece to play?” Garrus asked, trying to pull and learn more about her.

White teeth flashed out in a grin as Shepard pulled out her omni-tool. A holo keyboard in neon orange appeared between them. She cracked her fingers, readying to take on the challenge.

“Okay, it’s been a while, so give me some grace.”

The tune started simple with repeating notes but built into a soaring melody. Her fingers danced across the board as it became more complex. His heart swelled watching her. But something about the tune became more and more familiar to him. Her eyes remained focused. Determination shone as she tried to get it just right. The last key hung in the air as she finished.

“Amazing! But that sounded so familiar. Where is it from?

“Fleet and the Flotilla. I Was Lost Without You is a classic! I bet you can sing along, Vakarian.” Shepard nudged him with a wink.

“You’re not getting that out of me.”

“Oh, you’re no fun.”

“I try to be.” He leaned forward and kissed her at her temple and continued. “Why don’t we watch that instead.”

“You got yourself a deal.”

They collapsed together in the comfort of her bed. Garrus pulled up the vid, while she nuzzled into his side. He was happy for things to go right, just this once.

#mass effect #commander shepard #garrus vakarian #shakarian #mass effect fics #my fics #olivia shepard

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mosviqu · 11 months

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lmao yeahhh at least the self awareness is there it's something iguess😭

i just hope i will grow to like them one day cuz i dont want to let go of the 03liners💔 their choreography and fits were great but i just hope they will get better songs next time or sumn (sorry if there are any boynextdoor fans who are reading this) DUDE SAME I WAS SO HAPPY ABOUT HIM!!!! (jiung is amazingggg) AHHH IM SO EXCITED AS WELL this is probably going to be my fav ep from them judging by the previews or whatever they are called🤭 IM GLAD SUNOO IS APART OF OUR CREW😌JUST A GREAT ADDITION REALLY!! (ooo at least the number of 03liners that i know about is growing xd)

THEY SHOULD JUST HIRE U THEN ACTUALLY LMAO U WOULD BE THE BEST PROTECTOR!!! and now i know that i definitely do not want u to get mad at me🥸

so true but i think writing might be like that as well because before i sent u that ask i literally just didn't really write in english at all😟 IM GLAD U UNDERSTAND ME🥳 ohh god i'm sorry but that's kind of a funny story ur poor roommate😭 I HOPE U GUYS STILL HAVE THEM JUST TO WATCH THEM BACK AND LAUGH (or cringe)

the tiktok algorithm just knows how to get people hooked onto something:o AND YESSS HE IS SO ADORABLE!! i only know them as well in addition with yujin(youngest) and gyuvin(my beloved) but the poor three left just feels like i will never get them😭😭 2hours is just too long of a time istg

IM GLAD U LIKED SOME BUT I THINK I DID VERY BAD WITH THE RECOMMENDATIONS LMAO

(ajhdhdjfj dude when i read ur authors note i also almost cried i started reading it on my bus ride home so i think people thought i was crazy or sumn lmao) and also i can't remember wether i have replied to ur last reply on ur main or did i only reply to it in my head so if u would let me know i would appreciate it.-. (liebestraum anon💕💕)

no bc its so unfortunate i truly hope the next comeback is better 😭😭😭 im sorry boynextdoor fans it just wasnt for me sadly 😔 if the music is good we are more than happy to recruit new 03 line besties to the squad tho!!

THE CB LOOKS SO GOOD i keep hearing the song on tiktok and each time i think its out already and i go check it out and its not. this could be very well prevented if i just checked the cb date but im honestly too lazy so ill just wait for it to appear in my spotify notifs or something 😭😭

I AM THE BEST PROTECTOR its the aries rage and loyality ❤ also being the only daughter of the family helps SSHSJ. also dont worry i usually dont get violently mad at my friends i usually just turn petty on them so. no fights here dw dw AHAHA

no bc if i didnt have tumblr i just wouldnt use english much either LMAO also i feel like that every time i write a fic after a long time i feel like i turn rusty and i just cant get anything out of me 😭😭 takes me a few mins to adapt truly. also i would say poor my roommate but honestly she didnt know what major to pick so she copied me so thats on her 🤷‍♀️ (jk im glad we stuck together ive known her for 4 years now and if it wasnt for her i would be handling uni much worse than i am). ALSO WE DO HAVE MOST OF THEM but some got deleted 😔💔

LITERALLY the tiktok algorithm is my bestie but also my biggest enemy (have i mentioned that i got into wilbur through tiktok. :,)) but yes hanbin is the new love of my life thankyou. i am so excited for their debut TT lets hope i learn their names quickly AHAHA

YOU DIDNT DO BADLY W THE RECOMMENDATIONS I JUST NEED TO BE IN A SPECIFIC MOOD FOR NEW SONGS I GUESS 😭😭 i'll update u on all my next progress w the tbz listening party <3

:(((( crying is strictly prohibited with matters thay include me. /j ((also if u mean on rrxnjun,, i replied to your ask after u sent this one ?? Im not really sure ??? but as of now i have no more asks from u!)

#liebestraum anon

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qasian-tech-support · 5 years

Text

#this circle from tumblr and one from discord and one for my irl friends and a brief one for my family’ and then theres the matter that i #still need to make a will and get it legally approved once my 18th comes. or tbh i might just go silently. its not like its too out of #character. i was supposed to take care of mels blog and now the only traffic it gets is reblogs i think. there were one or two discords that #i saw as a family of sorts for a couple of years prior to this year but because of everything im basically always idle and never check #notifications and a few people left one of the main ones i was apart of and since ive been popping in maybe once every two months theres #dozens of people that i dont recognize and i know theres like.. i feel like it would be rude to come back in and act like everythings normal #like how it used to be for me and i know itd be rude or jarring to suddenly appear and insert into these new friendships or circles that #have been formed and. im used to being a bit of a loner. i dont want to inconvenience anyone or make anyone feel uncomfortable. and i know #im hard to talk to because i use a weird mixed vocabulary because i feel a compulsion to use words to try to convey as close as what i mean #but it ends up causing confusion or feeling clinical and without anything behind it. and it takes a while to learn to mimic other styles #like adding ^^ to stuff but anymore i feel nausea from doing it because its again like im trying to scrape together the remains of when i #was happier so i analyze what i say longer than i should and not only does it not feel genuine but by the time i actually go to reply to #something the moments already passed and id just be. left.#i know these posts will come back to harm me in some way. everything i do always does. i cant find a good reason to post it other than that #i can hold it over my own head and torture myself by not deleting it and feeling my heart die from shame over and over and over #i mean i expected full on waves of negativity and toxicity or whatever when I first started branching onto online stuff and its odd that i #still havent gotten any. maybe i need to direct it at myself through these posts. maybe itll be easier to decide once someone tells me i #should just end everything. then again maybe thats just me being drastic and dramatic. something something attention seeking. i used to #hate thinking that i was being attention seeking but now i still hate it and i weaponize that hatred to loathe myself even more creating a #cycle that im uncomfortably aware of but that i dont deserve to escape in any way barring death.#am i going to get out of this hell hole rural town and to USC? i dunno but if i do im going to immediately seek mental help. but the most #likely outcome is that when the date that i set to judge myself comes I’ll probably end up dying. i wont give up on colleges but rn i #dont really know which ill choose.#i should probably shut up before i write another damn essay about myself in these tags #this should be enough to torture myself #delete later #suicide tw #negative tw #...

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missmonsters2 · 2 years

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Between the Lines || Part XV

PAIRING: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader / Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader / WandaNat x Fem!Reader

Summary: Vampire AU. Life has changed drastically since the 1600s. Things are always on the move, and you’ve been very careful to not get on SHIELDs radar. Living on the down-low owning a café, you’re content to live out a quiet existence. That is until the Avengers enter your life.

[Set after the New York Invasion, in CAWS, and goes up to AoU. Canon divergent after.]

Warnings: none for this chapter.

Note: Regular posting? We don't know her but still be kind to me and don't let this flop LOL I think this chapter was just hard to write with certain parts which took so long </3 the next few ones have been easier to write!

Please remember taglists are gone but you can follow my library blog for notifs! <3

Series Masterlist || Main Masterlist || Library Blog

PART XV of XX

Count: ~7.6K

Gone.

Everything feels numb as you move through the motions.

You feel something's ringing in your ears, blocking out any other sounds. People are speaking to you, but you can't hear anything.

"Hey."

You quickly look up when you feel David's hand on your shoulder. His face is filled with worry, brows furrowed together as he looks at you. You feel something burning in the back of your throat from his look alone.

"Shit," David only says before he pulls you into a tight hug, maybe even too tight, but it feels good. "I'm so sorry that happened. I'm so fucking sorry." You don't say anything. He's not apologizing like it's his fault, but he can see the devastation on your face even if you don't show it.

"Are you ready for this?" David asks as he pulls back, looking behind you.

Everyone was there, but you couldn't even bring yourself to look at Natasha since she showed up. She had tried to approach you when they arrived at the scene, but you had sharply turned away. It didn't take too much to figure out what happened, but Wanda was the one who explained anyway.

You couldn't look at Wanda either.

Liam was the first to speak when silence fell, planning what they needed to do. He was the furthest removed from this situation; it was easy for him.

They called for Tony right away, who arrived on the scene shortly after to handle the body. He had looked at you, and it was like he recognized something behind your eyes. He slapped you on the shoulder and told you it would be okay before he left.

You stared at the small apartment, a police car at the front, and a confused babysitter at the door along with Allison.

God, Allison looked tired but confused.

You felt something constrict in your heart so painfully, squeezing the life out of you, threatening to break your ribs next. You could see the news being broken to them. The babysitter's hand flew to her mouth, and Allison stood there with her eyes wide, unsure how to take the information.

"No," you croak. "I'll never be ready but if I don't go there, I'll only be a coward along with a murderer."

David looked ready to protest, but you had started walking off, approaching the policemen.

"Lainey!" Allison cries, breaking out of the babysitter's grasp as the young girl flies into your legs, wrapping her arms around them as she buried her face into you. "The policemen are saying mom is gone! Tell them that's not true! She's just working!"

You feel a sting hit the back of your throat. Your hands balled into fists tightly for one moment before you released them, wrapping your arms around Allison.

"Allison, sweet pea," you pick her up and kiss the side of her head, and it was something in your voice that Allison picked up that she began wailing. "I know, I know," you whisper as you bounce her in your arms to comfort her. She was so young still, growing bigger every day but not even nine yet.

The policemen could see that you were close with the family as they looked at each other.

"Does Allison have any other immediate family who can look after her? Her father, perhaps?"

You shook your head. "Her father passed away just after she was born. It's just been the two of them for a long time. I believe she has an aunt in Santa Barbara. Her contact details should be somewhere in the house, let me go grab it."

The babysitter steps aside for you to walk into the house, and Allison is still crying as you rub her back. You find the contact information on the fridge and pass it to the police officer, and they take it but continue to look at Allison.

"We should be taking her down to the station with us until her aunt can come grab her," one of them said.

Allison wailed louder at the words. "No!" She screamed. "I want to stay with Elaine! You can't take me away! Tell them, Elaine!"

You shushed her softly as you patted her back, and she wrapped her arms around you tighter.

"I'm listed as one of Allison's approved guardians to pick her up from school," you tell the policemen. "That should be enough for her to stay with me while her aunt makes a flight in."

The policemen noted what you said down, and you were sure it would be so he could check. They grabbed your information before you left.

Silence fell upon the house once more after, save for Allison's soft crying.

"I can't believe it..." the babysitter said, shaking her head.

"You should go home for the night," you tell the babysitter. "Did Deborah pay you beforehand?"

The babysitter shook her head. "She was supposed to when she got home..."

"What's your Venmo?" You pulled out your phone. You give the sitter extra pay for the distressing night and send her off.

"C'mon," you whisper to Allison. "Do you want to stay here or do you want to come over to my place?"

"Your place," Allison whispers, and you nod.

You manage to grab a few of Allison's things from the place before you walk out of the apartment. You notice David, Natasha, and Wanda standing across the street. You place Allison down, and she makes a noise of dissent at it, but you tell her she needs to put on a coat.

"Where are you going to take her?" David asks, the words only making it to your ear.

"To the compound," you say quietly. "I can't take her back to my place. It could be compromised because of Tatyana, and Tony's security system is better than mine. I'll have someone pick up Allison's aunt at the airport for them to meet at Stark Tower after."

"Alright, we'll meet you there," David says softly. "Natasha is asking if she can ride with you and Allison."

You purse your lip, but when you look at Allison, you find the little girl with wet eyes staring at Natasha across the street.

You sigh. "Fine."

Natasha quickly makes her way over to you and Allison when David gives her a nod.

"Hey, sweetheart," Natasha says softly to Allison. The little girl's eyes well up again at Natasha's gentle tone—honestly, yours does too. "It's going to be okay."

Allison nods but doesn't say anything as Natasha offers her hand for the young girl to take. The three of you walk to your car silently, and Natasha sits in the back with Allison. The young girl lays her head in Natasha's lap, and you look once in the rearview mirror, eyes connecting with green ones before you quickly look away and begin the quiet car ride back.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

The night passed quickly, and Allison was tuckered out for the most part. But she wouldn't sleep, insisting she wanted to talk to Steve, like Captain America could somehow make it all better.

"I'm sorry, Steve, I know it's late—"

"Don't ever apologize for that," Steve cuts you off. "Shit, we're trying to pack up our things right now for the next flight out. If Tony's jet wasn't being fixed right now, I would be home already."

"No, god, you don't have to—Bucky—"

"Isn't going anywhere. We've lost track of him and don't have a lead. You need me."

Your heart fills up with something that you can't form into words.

"Okay," you relent. "Come home soon."

"Already on my way. Pass the phone to Allison."

You hum before you turn and give your phone to the young girl.

"Steve?" She says in her tiny voice.

"Hey, it's my best girl," You hear Steve say.

You leave them to have their conversation. You step out of the room but lean against the wall, idly listening. Allison looked so young and so tired. She sounds so heartbroken, and Captain America's voice is the only thing holding her together.

God, you did that.

You bite your tongue as Allison finally falls asleep, and Steve mutters a gentle goodnight before he hangs up. You quietly re-enter the room, putting the phone away before you tuck Allison in.

"I'm so sorry," you whisper as you kiss her forehead.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

"I need some fresh air," you mutter to the group as you pass them and head down to the main floor. The air is brisk, the moon reaching its peak for the night, and you take off into the trees. You head deep in, hearing the water by the stream.

When you reach the clearing, you stop.

You swallow a rather large lump in your throat. Like a newborn, the emotions stir inside you, threatening to rage and spillover. You take a shaky breath in an attempt to control it—to reign it back in.

But when you think about what you'll have to return to, what will come in the morning, you feel yourself stifle a sob. Fuck, it was all falling apart.

This was a mistake—all of this was a fucking mistake. You should've sent Steve on his way after giving him those books that day you met him.

You should've never invited Natasha to the park date with Allison.

You should've never made promises you didn't know how to keep.

You hear something rustle behind you, and you whip around immediately only to find Natasha coming out from behind a tree. You relax from your defensive posture and turn back around.

"You shouldn't be out here," you say hoarsely. "It's cold and late."

"I could say the same thing to you," Natasha returns at you, and you could practically see her brow raised while she said it.

"Vampires don't feel the cold like you do," you tell her softly. "Our body adjusts."

"It's still late."

"I told you I needed fresh air," you still don't turn around to face her. "Go back inside, Natasha."

"Are you going to look at me when you come back inside?"

Silence.

"If you aren't, I'm going to stay here until you look at me."

You close your eyes and grit your teeth. "Natasha, please—"

"No, I need to you look—"

"I CAN'T!" You scream as you whip around, eyes flooded with tears.

Natasha's mouth remains agape as she looks at you. Fuck, she's never seen you cry before. Even when you had talked about your life, you hadn't shed a tear.

And now? You were on the brink of drowning in your own tears.

"I can't look at you without feeling the absolute worst about myself!" You sobbed, anguish laced in your voice.

Natasha thinks then she can feel something breaking inside her at the sound of devastation in your cries. Your throat feels raw, burning with shame and wreckage. Your emotions are heightened; you're nearly overcome with hysterics.

"I told you!" You gritted. "I told you that my vows to love and protect mean nothing. I can't even keep one girl's only parent alive—how the hell am I supposed to protect you?"

"That wasn't your fault," Natasha tells you determinedly as she takes a step closer.

"I don't want to hear it, Natasha," you sneered. "I can place the blame all I want on Tatyana, but it doesn't change that I'm the reason Deborah was a target in the first place."

Natasha clenches her teeth because maybe now isn't the time to tell you it's not your fault when you obviously don't want to hear it, not ready to accept it.

"I don't need you to protect me," Natasha says instead.

You let out a snort with a shake of your head. "Right," your voice is despondent. "Because you're Natasha Romanoff, Avenger, ready to clear her ledger." You wipe at your face as you begin to make your way back in.

Natasha grabs your wrist to stop you from passing her. Her eyes are lined red, and you know you're the worst scum to live on this earth for hurting her like you are now.

But you're broken, and you are so, so tired.

Neither of you looks at each other, continuing to stare forward.

"Don't you get tired, Romanoff?" You uttered. "Don't you ever get tired of broken promises?"

Natasha grips your wrist tighter.

"I do," you muttered. "I'm tired of trying to be something I'm not, just so I deserve to love the hero. Everything I love breaks, Romanoff. You're no exception."

With that, you rip your wrist from Natasha's grasp and keep walking, clenching your jaw when you hear a choked sob.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

The hand-off of Allison is emotional. The young girl is obviously close with her aunt but not as close as she was with you. She cries, begging you to keep her, and you hate your existence at that moment.

You hate being a vampire, destined to never grow old—unable to keep Allison.

"I'll write," you promise Allison. "I'll write, and we'll video chat often. You can call me whenever you want to."

The promises seem to subdue Allison, but she's still weeping. You stand up, looking at Allison's aunt, Lisette.

"Please don't hesitate to reach out if you ever need anything. I've set up a trust fund for Allison for school, so you don't have to worry about that."

The woman gives you a kind smile. "You were really close to them, huh?"

You nodded. "I love Allison. Her mother was sweet as well. I'm so sorry for your loss."

"I'm sorry for yours as well," Lisette tells you before she gives you one last forlorn smile.

And then they're gone.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

Natasha watches you.

Days have passed since that night in the clearing, and you haven't looked at her once. She notices that you don't seek out Wanda either.

Something stirs painfully inside of Natasha. You were avoiding her, and that was breaking Natasha's heart. She could see you. She could always see you.

Natasha loved you like the sun rising and falling, loved you like a quiet sonnet. So, to watch you loathe yourself—to blame yourself was like watching your flame go out.

Broken promises or not on your end, Natasha's vows to you meant that she was invested in keeping your flame going when you could not.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

This is it, Wanda thinks. This is where the line was drawn, and Natasha's patience runs out. She would finally be berated, a well-deserved scolding from the redhead. After all, Wanda can't fathom why Natasha would seek her out otherwise.

They sit in silence for a long time before Natasha opens her mouth.

"Honestly, when I first realized Elaine was developing feelings for you, I didn't know if I had it in me to share her with you," the redhead confessed. "It was hard. You're beautiful, and when you're not being a complete bitch, you're witty, sarcastic, and funny. Although, I will admit there's a certain charm when you're an asshole too."

Wanda doesn't know what to say. She doesn't know why her mouth won't open and tell Natasha that she's beautiful too. So insanely beautiful that it sometimes drives Wanda mad with insecurity. And on top of that, Natasha was also witty, sarcastic, and funny, but also clearly more mature and gracious than Wanda.

"I think a part of me knew right away that you were always going to be something more to her. There's history between the two of you that I can't get involved in," Natasha doesn't even look at Wanda as she says all of this. "And in the end—because I love her—I told her to let herself love you too. I thought that you would love and protect her in ways I couldn't."

The ending words sting Wanda. The implication of them burns.

Natasha finally looks over at Wanda. "But you don't do what you're doing to people you love."

"Are you telling me to stop loving her then?" Wanda asks harshly.

"No, I'm telling you to do better," Natasha deadpans. "I told you there's history between you and her that I can't come in between—and I'm okay with that. Because just like you, there's history between her and me that you can't come in between. You need to learn how to be okay with that."

Wanda closes her eyes because these are things she already knows. God, doesn't she know it, but she can't seem to make her brain listen to her.

"So, despite everything we may do to her, she'll never give up on us. She can get tired and be past the brink of nothing, and she will still find it in her to keep us," Natasha says softly, and Wanda can feel the back of her eyes watering.

Wand knows this; she knows this of you. She knows your kind and forgiving heart, and that's what makes her cry because—

"But I don't want us to be the people that keep pushing her past nothing because we know she loves us and will keep loving us."

The urge to snap at Natasha springs forth like a mousetrap. The impulse to tell Natasha that she has no idea what she's talking about and whatever was happening between you and Wanda was none of her business.

And it takes everything within Wanda to suppress it, and she feels a little more rational when she does.

They sit in silence again, but Wanda feels a little closer, and she wonders if Natasha does too.

"Does it bother you when you see me with her?" Natasha asks quietly. "Do you wish that I weren't around?"

Wanda supposes it's a fair question, that perhaps Natasha was looking for a reason why Wanda was the way she was around her.

But this was also one of those things Wanda couldn't quite explain with coherence. And it might only be because she feels closer to Natasha in this moment with rationality that she's able to admit what she's about to say.

When she says it, Wanda doesn't look at Natasha, staring intently at the ground instead.

"It does but not always for the same reasons. It feels safe to keep you at a distance, but I also want you closer."

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

Hours—days pass you like nothing.

As a vampire, time was so fleeting. But the numbness? It kept you in a melancholy daze.

This feeling reminds you of the days right after you had lost Tatyana. The despair of being unable to keep your own promises, feeling villainized by your own guilt, and lashing at others.

You want more than anything to deserve Natasha. And while you understand that it's Natasha's decision whether or not you deserve her, you know you don't. But you still love her achingly and pitifully. You yearn for her deeply, wanting to bite her and keep her close. You don't think there's ever been enough lifetimes for how long you could love Natasha.

You wonder if Natasha would tell you that you deserved her if you had told her those words—about how you really felt. But all you do is hide, and you hide from her and hide from Wanda.

It's easy to see what everyone is wondering.

Did you blame Wanda?

But that was something you couldn't answer. There were parts of the situation you blamed her for, but there were parts that you blame yourself for, and there were parts that you didn't blame anyone for.

You blamed Wanda for her recklessness and eagerness to rush after Tatyana. You blamed her for not listening to you.

You blamed yourself for not realizing that Tatyana had always been close by because you had gotten close with humans and were unwilling to use your powers on them. If you had not insisted on the gloves, perhaps you would've known much earlier on.

But the parts that you don't blame anyone for were the parts you hated yourself for the most. They were the parts that made you hide from Natasha, and what you knew were the reasons you didn't deserve her.

Because despite killing Deborah, being the reason why Allison had no mother anymore, you would do it again if you had to. You would choose to save Wanda in nearly any situation, and you would choose to save Natasha in the same. And if you were ever put in a position where you had to choose between them, you would prefer to end your own life.

Leo was wrong. You were not a good person.

Perhaps you weren't a bad one, but you were no hero.

And you wonder if this was what Tatyana meant to do all along—show you what you were capable of to keep what you loved safe. And if it was, had that meant you didn't love Tatyana the way she wanted you to—the way you did now—and that was why you broke your vows to her.

The thoughts made you ill.

A sudden noise makes you nearly break your neck while looking over. You had been hiding on the roof, drinking a bottle of whiskey by yourself even though it did nothing to soothe your pain.

You see who it is and turn your head away disinterestedly. You know you shouldn't, but you feel ambushed.

"I don't want company," you say as you take a swig from the bottle.

"I don't care."

You sigh as you stand up, walking briskly to leave when you're stopped. You look down at your arm and see your wrist being gripped.

You look back up. "Wanda, I'm tired. I don't want to chat or whatever it is you want to provoke me into tonight."

Wanda bristles at the words, gripping your wrist momentarily harder before she relaxes but doesn't let you go. She takes a deep breath before she exhales.

"We need to talk about it," Wanda's jaw clenches uncomfortably as she gets the words out.

"Why?" You demand. "What exactly is there to talk about? Whatever happened, happened. We can't change it and for once, I don't want to do a rehash of it to understand."

You keep your voice steady and calm, which only serves to make Wanda more upset.

"Because you blame me!" Wanda angrily fumes. "You blame me and you can't even say that! All you do is forgive me and because you can't this time, you hide!"

You rip your wrist away from Wanda, dropping the nearly empty whiskey bottle on the ground. It shatters, but you can't even hear it over the blood pumping in your ears.

"I know it wasn't intentional," you retort back at her. "But even if it wasn't intentional, I don't want to talk about it. What exactly do you want from me, Wanda? Do you want me to say it's okay? Do you want forgiveness for what happened? Then, fine, I forgive you and it's okay." You let out a tired sigh. "Are we done?"

You try to push past her and walk for the door, but Wanda blocks your way and pushes you back heatedly.

"We are not done!" Wanda tells you hotly, her face flushed.

She was all sharp edges that pressed uncomfortable against you, threatening to pierce you, and you knew whatever came out would be horrid.

But Wanda seems to always be like that. When the time came, she pushed and pushed and pushed until you were hurtling over the cliff, watching as she jumped after you.

It was something you hated and loved about her because past the edge was something between the lines—what you truly felt.

"For christ's sake! Even if it wasn't intentional, I'm the one who made you lose control. I was reckless, and I made you protect me. You killed that woman for me!" Wanda ran her hand through her hair before swinging her hand back in front of her.

"What do you want me to say?" You bit out, turning away from her.

"Just admit you're fucking angry with me!"

You whipped back around at Wanda, glaring at her.

"You don't think I am?!" You yelled at her, your jaw clenching, eyes ushered with tears. "Allison lost her mother because of me—because of what I chose to do to save you because you wouldn't fucking listen to me!"

"Everything has been so fucking hard, and you've yet to endeavor to make it any easier!" You hissed at her.

"Do you enjoy breaking my heart—breaking Natasha's? Do you like watching when I have to pretend that I don't see Natasha's heart breaking when I love her." You stood close to Wanda's face as you spoke, putting your hands on her shoulders as you gripped her desperately. Wanda's eyes are lining with tears as she looks at you.

"Why do you put me in situations where I become the worst version of myself when I fucking love you too!" The emotion in your throat is raw as your lips tremble.

"Then let's break up!" Wanda screams.

"We will not!"

Wanda sucks in a painful breath between her lips at your vehement refusal. The painful beating of her heart thuds against her ribs, slow and steady.

Your lips press into a stubborn line as your hands drag down to her elbows. "You do not get to run away when things are hard," you grit at her. "I don't know how the fuck to fix what's wrong with us but I love you."

It feels like Wanda's stomach dropped. Her limbs are going numb.

"I love you," you repeat, your tone heated with passion behind the words. "And I know you love me too. You wouldn't be standing here crying like that if you didn't."

The words surprise Wanda, but she realizes her cheeks are wet, and her throat feels raw for other reasons. You lift your hand to wipe away her tears, and Wanda chokes on a sob.

"I'm sorry," Wanda crumbles against you, face into your shoulder as her own wracks from her cries. "I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry."

You hold her close, pressing kisses into the side of her head. You can't tell her it's okay because it's really not, but you appreciate her apology.

"I know, I know," you whisper. "We're gonna figure it out. You, me, Natasha—we're gonna figure it out. Even though we're tired, we're gonna keep going until we get it."

And Wanda vows at that moment that she's going to do whatever it takes to fix it with you and with Natasha. If she can make it right, perhaps all three of them can finally be happy.

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The headache seems to come and go more often lately, Wanda finds. There doesn't seem to be a rhyme or rhythm, and Wanda can only deduce that it's the stress.

Things have been slowly returning to normal, or whatever they were before their confrontation with Tatyana. Your grief still lingers in the air, but you no longer avoid them.

Wanda had found you yesterday with Natasha, sitting outside on the steps. Your head was in her lap as she stroked your head, and tears fell from your eyes as you kept them closed.

Wanda had thought it was ironic. She seems to always be apologizing to you, and you seem to be always apologizing to Natasha. And Natasha? Well, she was the stern but gracious one to you and to her.

And when she watched you sit up, pulling on Natasha's shirt desperately as you pressed your lips sorrowfully against the redhead, Wanda's head hurt like screws drilling into her temples, but she couldn't look away.

"I don't know, I don't think we can rely on just waiting for Wanda to have a vision of where Tatyana to be. I'm not even sure if that was something that Tatyana had just wanted her to see."

Wanda's eyes refocus as she looks at David stroking his chin. They've been in a meeting for the last hour, trying to dig up anything that could find Tatyana again.

They've tried digging through all the street cameras, meeting up with anyone you've befriended in your life to investigate, and Liam and Wanda had tried the ritual locating spell once more.

Everything came up dry.

You were just about to say something when your phone began to ring. Your brow furrowed.

You picked it up and placed it on speaker. "Stacey?"

"Hello?" It was a frighteningly quiet whisper, filled with panic and urgency.

"Stacey, is that you? Why are you whispering?" You ask with a frown.

"Please, please come get me," Stacey desperately whispers back, and you can hear her on the verge of tears, which was unusual for the office gossiper.

"Why? What's wrong—where are you?" You ask immediately, lowering your own voice when you realize you could pose more risk to her if you were speaking too loudly through the phone.

"Josh invited me out. He said it was a small get together. He told me to meet him at the rooftop at work but—but—" Stacey's voice shuttered, and you could hear her holding back the sob. "When I came here, he was dead!"

You immediately stood up, Wanda and Nat along with you. You started walking out of the room quickly while Natasha prepared the car keys.

"Where are you?" You asked. "Work still?"

It was silent for a moment, and you wondered if Stacey nodded instead of actually speaking.

"Yes," she finally whispered. "There's something else in the building."

"Other people?"

"I don't know...monsters. Other coworkers came here tonight too."

"Are they okay?"

"I think so. I ran, and now I'm hiding. I have to be quiet. They hear so well."

You paused.

"Stacey," you said slowly. "Why did you call me? Why haven't you called 911?" You asked warily.

"I heard them talking. They're trying to be quiet too—they're scared of you coming."

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"We're going to try to find where the hybrids are taking the humans," David volunteers as he drags Liam off with him.

"You said there could be more than one, right?" Tony begins to levitate off the ground. "My heat scanners are picking up a lot of bodies in the building. I'm going to get the hostages."

Tony bursts off, leaving you with Wanda and Natasha.

"We need to find whatever hybrids are in the building and take them out," you decide. "Stacey said she was hiding on the roof. Tony's making his way up, so let's get to the roof first and make our way down and meet him in the middle."

The two women nod at you. The ground floor is eerily quiet, and you determine the humans are too far up the building for you to hear them. It's almost painful having to wait for the elevator to take the three of you up to the roof.

You open the door quietly, and you can hear someone's muffled breathing in the distance.

"Stacey?"

The sound of your voice has Stacey popping her head out from what she was hiding behind. Her eyes were watering, and her face was blotchy as she stumbled onto her feet to start running to you. Just as she was a few feet away from you, something blurs past you, coming right behind Stacey as they grip her tightly and hand around her neck.

The scene is both familiar and new to you.

You're brought back to the time Leo took you to see what Tatyana had created in that decimated village and when you were at Liam's home.

This thing in front of you looked like a normal human being until it could bring forth those sickly dark veins under its eyes.

It seemed much more coherent, and that was new.

"Please, please, please..." Stacey began crying. "Don't kill me, Gerard."

Gerard.

One of the missing people.

Except he wasn't missing anymore—he'd been changed.

You try not to make any sudden movements in case it's not as coherent as you thought and gets spooked into killing Stacey.

"Let the girl go," you tell it calmly. The hybrid being has shifty eyes and starts to move slowly, holding Stacey threateningly close. Its plan seemed to be using Stacey to escape unharmed.

"Move, and I'll kill her." His voice was raspy.

The three of you don't move, letting him near you to walk past. All of your minds are racing on how you'll save Stacey.

Natasha is the one to notice and take action first.

Stacey's trembling so hard that she stumbles when she accidentally steps on Gerard's foot. The distraction causes Gerard's attention to look away for just a moment, but Natasha pounces at the opportunity.

Natasha shoots a widow bite out, landing it straight on Gerard's hand, the electric shocks activating immediately. The second Gerard lets go, Natasha moves forward to grab Stacey and push her out of his reach. Stacey's head hits the floor, and she's unmoving.

Gerard lets out a rabid scream at the pain, still forcing through it to leap forward and into Natasha. They tussle and roll on the ground before Gerard bares his fangs at her, shocking Natasha into thinking he's going to bite her.

But he doesn't. He wraps his arms around Natasha so tightly it threatens to crush her windpipe, stumbling back up with his new hostage to get out of this situation. He rips the widow bite off of him as he stares menacingly at you.

Wanda had moved to check on Stacey, who seemed to be okay, just unconscious.

You were frozen in your spot.

You should've been the one to go after Gerard when he stumbled. What use was vampire speed when Natasha's brain seemed to work faster than yours?

The situation turns precarious with the threat still clear in the air.

Move, and the hybrid would kill Natasha by ripping her throat out.

Wanda's eyes trail the hybrid closely. He's desperate as he holds Natasha tightly to him, claws at her throat. Too many things are happening, and Wanda finds it difficult to remain focused. She can hear you thinking rapid-fire thoughts on how to save Natasha. She can hear Natasha's thoughts on how to get out of the situation unharmed. She can hear the deranged hybrid's thoughts on how to escape.

But most importantly, Wanda can hear her own thoughts. And the desperation of the situation has the quiet voice in her screaming finally.

This is your chance—leave her!

Despite how cold Wanda has been towards Natasha, the thought of abandoning her was unfathomable.

Leave her, and we won't need to share!

The voice was so vehement, so unlike her. Wanda's eyes drift over to you for only a second.

She's mine to love, and I'll never let anyone have her.

The words hit Wanda like a cold bucket of water.

That was not her.

All those headaches, the quiet voice in her head, the raging jealousy—that hadn't been her. Those times that she and Liam did the ritual circles and thought they didn't work. They had, and they hadn't realized because Tatyana was in the room with them every time—inside Wanda.

The notion of it makes Wanda's stomach twist so painfully she has to fight the feeling of her limbs going numb.

Time ticks faster than Wanda wants, but it only takes looking at Natasha once to decide what she needs to do. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. Willing every ounce of mental fortitude it takes to make up for the lack of knowledge by sheer raw power, Wanda locks Tatyana in.

There's resistance immediately, but Wanda holds steady.

Wanda's eyes lock with Natasha. The explicit trust in Natasha's eyes dredges up a fiery emotion so powerful inside Wanda that she almost laughs.

Jealous of Natasha? Disliking her? Wanting to keep her distance?

It's so absurd, Wanda thinks. There's nothing more Wanda wishes than to have more time to close the distance between them.

A moment passes, but it feels like a million things are being said between them.

Don't.

It's the only way.

Don't you fucking dare.

I'm sorry.

"We only have one chance to get this right," Wanda says quietly enough for you to hear. "So, you better catch her if you don't want her to break both her legs."

You only get to be confused for two seconds before Wanda conjures up the red wisps of her powers, bending her back before whipping forward. The wisps surround the hybrid and Natasha, forcibly separating the two as Wanda uses one hand to hurl Natasha into your direction.

You brace yourself at the impact, catching Natasha safely, but the blow causes you to fly back into the stone ledge. Your breath hitches painfully as a result, but Natasha is safe from having her legs broken, as Wanda said.

The next moment happens so quickly you feel your heart drop into your stomach.

Wanda uses her powers to propel herself into the hybrid at break-neck speed, tumbling them right over the edge. It happens in slow motion then—she turns her head back slightly, looking at the two of you with sorrowful acceptance. She looks like she wants to say something, but too many words are left and not enough time.

So, Wanda doesn't say anything at all. She merely gives the two of you a minuscule upward quirk of her lips, and it's devastatingly heartbreaking. She turns her head away, and just like that—they disappear from view.

"Wanda!" Natasha screams as she takes advantage of your grip that has loosened from shock.

Next thing you know, you're watching Natasha leap and dive headfirst after Wanda.

"Fuck!" You curse, panic, and adrenaline coursing through your veins.

You blur to the edge, but they're falling too fast down a 700ft story building. You can't jump after them and save them even if you caught them. The impact of the colliding into the ground from this height would kill them regardless.

You turn, forcing every ounce of your body to go as fast as supernaturally possible back into the building, using the stairs to go one level lower. You pry the elevator doors open, looking up briefly to see the car above you. Grabbing the guiding rails, you leap.

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Wanda feels the wind whipping into her face as she falls. The hybrid tries to claw at her, and Wanda doesn't have enough control to keep Tatyana inside her and conjure up more magic. All she can do is use just enough to enhance her hand before using it to force the hybrid's heart out like she had with Ultron.

Unlike Ultron, who was made of metal, this hybrid was made from flesh. The consequence was uncomfortably warm and messy, but the body goes limp, and Wanda lets go without another thought.

The view opens up, and Wanda feels the unwanted terror at seeing herself fall, but she doesn't attempt to save herself. Instead, she lets her body turn over so she can face the sky. Maybe if she's lucky, she'll see a glimpse of you and Nat leaning over the edge and looking at her.

But instead, the sight of Natasha only a few feet away from her greets her.

"What the fuck!" Wanda shrieks, and a different kind of terror fills her. She immediately reaches her hand out, and Natasha uses it to firmly close the distance between them.

Natasha wraps her arm around Wanda, flipping them around, so she's underneath with the younger girl on top. As she looks around, she thinks about shooting her grappling hook through the glass of the building and hopes it takes. But if it did, there was a chance they could snap something or die from the impact of the collision. But they were going to die if they didn't do anything at all.

As they get closer to the ground, Natasha is about to try her luck when Wanda suddenly flips them over, so she's protecting Natasha from the impact of hitting the ground.

Wanda knows she needs more power to save them but using enough of her powers would mean she wouldn't have enough to keep Tatyana locked in. It doesn't even take half a second for Wanda to decide. She forces Tatyana out, blocking her from coming back in as she closes her eyes and surrounds her powers around them.

The air around them begins to slow, their bodies jerking slightly at the force of it. Natasha can see the ground now and sees everyone gathered at the bottom. She sees Tony flying with all of his boosters at max to make it to them, trying to force himself to go faster when he realizes it still won't be fast enough. Wanda pushes more of her powers out to save them, even though she's exhausted, and doing so physically feels like the first layer of skin is being ripped off.

Still, using her powers at the last possible second didn't do them any favors as they crashed into you and David into the ground. The two vampires break their fall but at the cost of their own ankles, legs, and back-breaking upon collision.

They hear agonizing gasps, and they scramble off, ignoring their own pain. Your ankle is bent at an unnatural angle when David doesn't move at all.

They call your name along with David's in distress. But just as quick as it happened, the venom in your body takes over and mends everything.

"Oh, god," David bemoans while Liam kneels next to him, checking him over. "That hurt so bad—I think I'm going to have ghost pains from that for a while."

You merely grunt before you sit up, rotating your ankle. "I'm okay," you groan.

Tony lands and takes his helmet off as he runs up towards Natasha. "Are you okay?" He asks before he snaps. "What the fuck is wrong with the two of you?"

Natasha is sitting with her legs spread and Wanda in between them. They look relatively unharmed save for some nasty bruises and cuts.

Wanda looks like she's on the verge of hyperventilating.

"Why would you do that!" Wanda screams at Natasha. "You could've died—are you fucking stupid?"

"You were the one to jump off first with that stupid look on your face that said acceptance all over it!" Natasha shouted back at her. "What the hell was I supposed to do?"

"Let me die!" Wanda shrieks. "I had Tatyana trapped in my consciousness, and if I died, I could've taken her right along with me, and this would've been over. But because your stupid ass came after me, I had to cut her out and save us."

Wanda's words clear up the situation for everyone, and it's like it clicks differently for multiple people about the situation lately.

"Yeah, it would've been really, really over for you," Natasha berates anyway. "That's not what an acceptable outcome is when we haven't exhausted all other options."

"You're the one who told me to stop being that person who keeps dragging you guys past nothing. I was fixing what I've done!" Wanda sneers at her in her asshole way that drives Natasha crazy.

"I said to do better, not go fucking die! Do you know what kind of heart attack you gave me?" Natasha snaps back.

Wanda merely screws her face up in annoyance before she falls into a slightly abashed expression. Her head feels clear for the first time since Ultron, and Wanda wonders distantly how long Tatyana had been inching into her mind.

But more importantly, with a clear mind, looking back on everything suddenly makes sense, like a thundering waterfall.

While she had felt like an outsider between you and Natasha, it wasn't because Wanda wanted you without Natasha.

Wanda had wanted to be included between you and Natasha. All those looks of jealousy and irritation that she couldn't place were partly because of Tatyana influencing her but also because Wanda had been jealous of you as well.

You were someone who got to touch and be loved by Natasha—something that Wanda had been curious about and desired deep down, locked away by Tatyana.

"I'm sorry," Wanda mutters, cheeks red at the realization of it. Just mortifying. She had been in love with Natasha and was just horrid to the other woman the entire time. Yes, partly because of the mind control, but Wanda couldn't imagine how she would reconcile with Natasha after months of hostility. "Thank you for jumping after me and saving me."

She'd be lucky to even have a close friendship with the redhead, never mind trying anything romantic.

Natasha is stunned into silence at the easy apology and gratitude. She looks at Wanda's abashed yet solemn face and can't help but be charmed by it.

Wanda is endearing and even more so that the other girl doesn't even realize she's still holding onto Natasha's hand.

And just like that, it clicks into place. Natasha only has a few seconds to wonder if it clicks into place so easily when Wanda allows herself to be open like she had that night and now.

"I finally figured out what it is about you that bothers me so fucking much," Natasha says after a moment.

Wanda looks at her with pursed lips and confusion. It hadn't really occurred to Wanda that Natasha would be bothered by her—aggravated, yes, in response to how Wanda treated her. But not bothered.

"I want you closer too," Natasha breathes, slamming her lips into Wanda's, gripping the girl's neck to pull her closer. When Natasha pulls back, Wanda is staring at her, breathless, flushed, and shocked. But then tears well up to her eyes, and Wanda starts crying from happiness.

You sigh loudly and dramatically. Your heart is slowly returning to its normal rate. Jesus Christ, these two. But you can't control the relief and utter bliss that's flooding your system.

"You two are going to be the fucking death of me," you mutter, smiling, and everyone laughs.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

In a dimly lit room, eyes suddenly open.

"Huh," Tatyana scoffs. "That little witch broke the connection. How dull."

PART XVI

#natasha romanoff x reader #wanda maximoff x reader #wandanat x reader #natasha romanoff imagine #wanda maximoff imagine #avengers reader insert #avengers x reader #avengers imagine #marvel reader insert #natasha romanoff x you #wanda maximoff x you #natasha x wanda x reader #black widow x reader #scarlet witch x reader #mm: my fics

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metalbuckaroo · 3 years

Text

💋Soldat107💋

🍒 SUMMARY// At 3am, every Sunday, Bucky locks his bedroom door to watch his favorite camgirl. What's to happen when he finds out he's much closer to her than leaving generous tips on her videos?

💋 WARNINGS// m masturbation, implied f masturbation, cursing, mentions of alcohol, lil bit of fluff

🍒 AU// Roommate!Bucky x Camgirl!Reader

💋 NOTE// This is tame compared to what's coming next. Requests and asks are always open, 18+ ONLY Minors DNI

🍒Ronly Friends Masterlist🍒

💋Main Masterlist💋

Moodboard by// @commonintrest

"C'mon, big boy! Nat is gonna be here soon." You called down the hall, Bucky walking out of his bedroom as he pulled his shirt on. "I'm coming, calm down." He sighed. "Well, don't you look handsome." You smiled, smoothing your hands over his shoulders, feeling the muscles tense a little under your touch. "Oh, stop flirting."

"Nevermind, you look horrible." You teased, Bucky rolling his eyes at you as he got in the fridge for a water. "If I was to set you up with one of my friends- would you go?"

"Nope."

Though a small wave of relief washed over him, he couldn't stop himself from asking- "why not?"

"I have plenty of fun- by myself." You winked, a low chuckle pulling from Bucky's chest as he took a quick drink from the bottle. "Well, any guy who gets to date you is lucky, dollface."

You jutted your bottom lip out, reaching your hands out to hold his jaw. "Awe, Bucky. So sweet, gimme some sugar." You giggled, planting a kiss on his stubbled cheek.

Bucky looked at the tinted gloss painted on your lips and groaned. "Oh, c'mon, get it off. Sam teases me enough." He frowned. "Ok, ok. Lemme see." You laughed, pulling him down closer by the back of his neck.

"Hey!" He whined when you left another one on the opposite cheek. "Now, you match. Want some more?" You teased, Bucky trying to wiggle away as you wrapped your arms around his sturdy waist. "No, no more sugar."

"Oh, all of the sugar. C'mere, big boy." You giggled, making kissy noises at him as his face went beet red, laughter bubbling from his chest. "Stop! We gotta- we gotta go."

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Bucky tried to keep his eyes from staring a hole into you the entire time you were at the club not far from the apartment. Occasionally glancing over Steve's shoulder to where you were enjoying yourself with Natasha, the hem of your dress lifting every so often to give a peek at the lacy underwear underneath.

"You listenin', Buck?" The blonde chuckled, snapping his fingers in front of Bucky to get his attention again. "Hmm? Yeah, I heard ya'." Bucky lied.

"Obviously not. You're staring so hard that it's getting creepy." Steve teased. "Is that drool?" Sam quipped, making Bucky mock laughter and roll his eyes as he lifted the glass bottle to his lips.

He had been waiting for a half an hour for a reason to ditch, seeing you shaking your head at a man who just stepped closer when Natasha walked away was the perfect reason.

"There goes Bucky, swooping in to save the day." He shot a look to Sam over his shoulder, snaking his arms around your waist and leaning to nuzzle his face in the crook of your neck.

Your face heated up at the sudden action, but the look on the strangers face as he backed away made you give a soft smile and place your hands on the metal forearm that was around your waist.

"Ready to leave? I'm bored." He muttered as he pulled you away from the crowd and the lingering man, facial hair scratching at your skin as he talked. "My hero." You laughed, pulling out of his grip and waving to the group of friends who sat at the bar.

"Unspoken rule number three, it is my job as your roommate to save you from unwanted situations." Bucky smiled, pushing open the door to hold it for you. "What a gentleman."

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3am hit while Bucky was scrolling his phone. The weekly notification dropping down at the top of his screen.

This time, there were two new videos; Bucky's eyes going wide when he saw the title on the second one.

For the best tipper- Soldat107

He hesitated at first to click it, his hand slipping into the waistband of his briefs to grip himself when the video loaded.

The swirling in the pit of his stomach started quicker than he had expected. Bucky rutting his hips into his hand as his top teeth bit down into his lip to make sure you didn't hear him this time and eyes fluttering shut as he spilled over the edge.

Once he was done, his phone and headphones were thrown to the side. Being quick to clean the mess on his hand and stomach before leaving his room to go shower.

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The next morning, Bucky went on his run with Sam and Steve after breakfast. The main topic being how he hadn't asked you on a date yet.

"Just ask her and stop being a whimp about it." Sam said, nudging his shoulder as they walked up the stairs of the apartment building. "She's my roommate, that's what makes it more difficult."

"That should make it easier, Buck. You already know almost everything about each other, there wouldn't be any awkward silences if you took her out." Steve pointed, as if Bucky hadn't already weighed the pros and cons.

"It's also very convenient that her room is across the hall from yours." Sam nodded, making Bucky roll his eyes as he opened the door to his apartment.

You looked over your shoulder from washing the dishes to where he was walking in, athletic shorts low on his hips and hair tied up messily. "It was my turn to do those." Bucky said with a pointed look. "I got bored." You shrugged, feeling the heat from his form when he stood behind you.

"When most people get bored, they watch tv." He turned the water off and you turned to face him. "How was your run?" You asked, leaning back against the counter. "Annoying and sweaty."

You nodded, letting your eyes wander down to his sweat slicked chest. The shine making his muscular torso seem even more defined. "I can tell."

Bucky hummed in response and went to pull you in for a hug, your hands pressing to his chest to keep him away as a mischievous smile tugged his lips. "Get off, Bucky. I don't want a sweaty hug." You warned with a laugh. "You know you like seeing me sweaty."

Your face warmed and you curled your fingers under his to try to pry them from your waist. "Go- take a shower." You giggled, Bucky pouting as he backed away to go down the hall.

You could hear Bucky rustling around in his room as you put the dishes away, a call of your name making you walk into his view as he walked back into the hall.

"Have you seen my sweats?" He sighed. "Which ones?"

"Dark grey." You didn't let yourself look down as he adjusted the waistband of his briefs. "Check my closet if they're not in yours."

Bucky nodded and opened your bedroom door, going to looked through the folded clothes on the top shelf of your closet.

Not finding them there, he went to the trunk that was at the foot of your bed, thinking you kept more clothes in it as he opened it.

He choked on air when he saw the familiar sight of a masquerade mask along with the same backdrop the camgirl he watched and different sets of lingerie neatly placed inside.

"Did you find it?" Bucky heard your voice say as you got closer. "I fuckin' found something, cherry." He huffed, everything in him wanting him to just shut the trunk and forget he ever saw it.

You rolled your eyes and waved his hand away to shut it, folding your arms across your chest. "That's an invasion of privacy, Buck."

"I'm canceling my subscription." Bucky said, looking up at the ceiling. "You're what now?" You said, cocking your head to the side. Everything not clicking in place for you yet.

"I'm canceling." He repeated, looking down at you. The fact that Bucky had seen your videos settling in. "You- oh, god." You bit back a laugh, covering your mouth with your hand.

"Yep. Remember the best tipper? Me. Now, I'm gonna go take a very cold shower. Don't look at me for awhile, I'm embarrassed." Bucky turned to leave the room, you following right behind him.

"Bucky, please, don't make this weird." You whined, reaching to grab the metal of his wrist in your hand.

He stopped and let out a long breath through his nose, running a hand down his face. "Four months. You've lived here four months and I didn't know I watched your videos every weekend? I feel-" A visible shudder passed through him, a guilty feeling settling deep in his stomach along with a little bit of curiosity. "Lemme see it."

"See what?" You asked, letting go of his wrist. "The cherry. I wanna see it." He shrugged.

You rolled your eyes and turned so your back was to him before lifting the hem of your dress, pulling the waistband of your underwear down enough for him to see the tattoo.

Bucky swallowed thickly and moved his hands to cover himself, tearing his gaze away from your backside. "Yeah. That made it worse. I'm gonna go shower now."

🍒 🍒 🍒 🍒 🍒 🍒

A few days passed, Bucky hadn't mentioned anything else about what he had found in your room. Everything stayed normal, except the increase in lingering looks you'd catch.

And the curiosity of what it was like to film yourself doing such personal things.

"I wanna do it." Bucky blurted out as you handed him a beer and the bowl of popcorn. "Do what?" You asked, taking your spot next to him on the couch and grabbing the remote from the coffee table. "The thing you do."

You looked over at him with an amused smile. "You'd make good money doing it." You said, Bucky's eyebrows raising. "You think?"

"Well, obviously. Look at you." You breathed a laugh, gesturing a hand towards him. His tongue swiped across his bottom lip, thinking over what he was about to say. "Do you ever think about... having a guest?"

You cocked an eyebrow at him, silently debating what he had said. Bucky had the build something like what you would see on a statue in a museum, a handsome face and delightful personality to match. You'd be lying if you said you didn't have some type of attraction towards him.

"You offering, Buck?"

🍒 🍒 🍒 🍒 🍒 🍒

TAGLIST: @likeahorribledream @cxddlyash @iwannabekilledtwice @bookstan0618 @glxwingrxse @yliumy @pineprincess @makbarnes @cupcakehinch @doasyoudesireandlive @magicwithinnightmares @preferredrealty @andy-is-gay @stucky-my-ship @marvel-3407 @maladaptivexxdaydreaming @i-l-y-3000 @avoxzy @impala1967666 @mollygetssherlockcoffee @supernaturalbae @bucky-hues @suchababie @eireduchess

@mrsbarnesinmyimagination @rachellovesloki @teenagedreams-bucky

#bucky #bucky barnes #bucky fanfic #bucky imagine #bucky x reader #roommate!bucky fluff #roommate!bucky smut #roommate!au #roommate!bucky #roommate!bucky x camgirl!reader #camgirl!reader

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straighttohellbuddy · 3 years

Text

you make me hate this city {Dream}

Summary: They/Them. A series of moments. Any publicity is good publicity, right? Well accidentally falling into beef with arguably the most popular Minecraft streamer in recent memory certainly keeps you relevant. But as time goes on, you realise more and more that staying relevant isn't the most important thing in the world.

A/N: 3009 words. i gotta stop adding 'i dont know what this is' to my authors notes but also i don't know what this is. i was listening to Happier Than Ever, but also OverHeated has better vibes for this fic. im actually incredibly happy with this one, like deadass a fan of my own wording lmfao. please let me know what you think. also i wrote this on my phone and welcome to 3.30am ive lost all control of my life.

Warnings: choking imagery but nothing actually serious.

Citrus Scale: 🧡 ORANGE 🧡

You blew up by accident, but isn't that the way it always seems to go these days?

---

"Wait, who? Dream, no I don't know who that is," you laugh dismissively, "contrary to popular belief, I don't know every online personality in Florida; it's a big place... why would I know a Minecraft youtuber? That's the kind of content that gets millions of subscribers on YouTube now? I thought we moved passed that."

In hindsight, it was kind of a shitty thing to say, and despite the fact that you'd been thinking of what you knew of the gaming community in the past few years, it still came off as arrogant. Usually you weren't one to portray yourself as arrogant online, you'd come to be known as something of a Zeitgeist of online society, your mind had been elsewhere at the time. You didn't know Dream, didn't realise he was much bigger than you'd been assuming, at least not until you'd woken up to his reply on twitter.

It had been deleted before you'd even properly seen it, probably only minutes after he'd posted it, but there were screenshots aplenty.

[incredibly bold words coming from a tiktok influencer 🙄🤡]

Your notifications were a bloodbath.

---

Despite your private apology, acknowledging what you'd said was out of line considering your own line of work, and his apology in response, admitting that he should have known better considering how rabid he knew his fans could get, there appears to be some hostility between the two of you. Publicly, that is.

It was all for show, though that was just between the two of you. The peanut gallery that was your audience paid good money for a fight like this, not that you'd ever voice that thought out loud. Considering how far apart your demographics were, and the size of your respective audiences, the way you two would interact kept you both relevant. Whether they were intrigued about the person antagonising their 'fav', or looking to clown on them, you both got a nice boost in numbers for each scathing interaction you'd shared online.

The people you had aligned yourself with socially ate it up too.

But something about their approval left a sour taste in the back of your mouth.

---

"It feels disingenuous," you huffed over a call with Dream, right after he'd posted a new Manhunt video to his main channel, "its a good video," you grumble.

"So don't send the tweet," he yawned, "or do; don't not tweet it if it's for my sake, I know you actually like my videos thats all that matters."

You press your lips together but hit send on [imagine posting essentially the same video 8 times,,, couldn't be me].

"You know I do actually think you're creative, right?" You tried to assure him.

"I know," and his voice is fond.

---

The city is fucking suffocating you and everyone's watching.

You feel like you'll be publicly hung for being genuine; getting famous on TikTok of all platforms has always felt a bit like that to you, but it didn't start getting constricting until all you want is to love and support creators outside of your bubble, outside of your shared demographic. The heat of early Summer is in your lungs, is choking you from the inside out.

And there have been times where you've considered running, considered never logging in again, driving until you're at a gas station two states over and gasping for air in a town where the people don't recognise you. You could stay there, if you really wanted, you could live in quiet obscurity if your heart really desired it. But it's its own kind of disingenuous.

[what if i drive until my wheels give out and then just stay there forever?]

[do you want company?] His answering text surprises you, and suddenly you can feel your heart beating in your throat. You ask if he's serious. He tells you he needs to get out of the city for a bit, even a few hours.

There's too many eyes in the city. On the road there's just his.

He's in your passenger seat and you're in your head wondering if this a fever dream, a mirage from the steadily growing summer heat. Maybe if you look directly at him, he'll disappear, so you don't, just incase. He opens the window, breeze catching in his fingers.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see him looking at you for a moment. Part of you wants to thank him for his company; this is the first time when you've wanted to run, when you've actually had a reason to come back. Don't think too hard about that.

You want to thank him for the company as there comes a lul in the conversation, but the wind rushing past you steals your nerve. You stay quiet, and turn up the radio.

The afternoon is growing late. Soon, you will head back. For him.

---

So you lay on his bed on your back, staring up at the ceiling, dead silent as you hear him talking and laughing with his friends as he streams. If you make a noise, your cover will be blown, you'll ruin this good thing, this ruse. The evening is sticky hot but the faint breeze is sweet. Looking over, you take a moment to admire his profile, aglow in the light of his monitor, beautiful in the warm haze of the night. Something twists in your gut, and you look away quickly, a little overwhelmed with the moment. So you stare at his bedroom ceiling, laying atop his covers, listening to him laugh, and you stay quiet.

---

He likes several tweets about the latest rumour about you; apparently you're an industry plant. No-one is quite sure which industry, but they're sure you're a plant. One of your stan accounts posts a screenshot of the tweets he likes, commenting [those in glass houses 🙄🙄] which you like. It's routine. It's a game. That night, the two of you spend an hour driving around as the sun sets, windows down and music blaring; your grip on the steering wheel is tight and his hand is on your thigh. You don't talk about what happens online. You don't talk about a lot of things. The light from the sunset is flattering for you both; people would say you're pretty together, picture perfect together, but no-one's allowed to know.

---

You attend parties, dressed to the nines, and you send him a photo from your bedroom before the night even begins. His response is sweet, but he doesn't dare interact when you post photos online a little while later.

[wish you were here] you send from the party as the fake laughter and constant camera flashes begin to grate on your nerves, [nothing feels real]. And after waiting a few minutes and getting no response, you put your phone back in your bag, plastering a grin on your face. Smile for the camera, its what you do best, it's how you got here.

When you feel your phone buzz, when you see he's simply offered an alternative, for you to come over and spend the rest of the night with him, you give your first genuine smile in hours. But someone catches it in the back of a photo, or perhaps a video on an Instagram story, maybe both, and everyone wants to know what had you smiling so brightly, why you'd made such a quick escape from the party after.

[only smile I've seen them give without dead shark eyes] Dream himself quote retweets someone's screenshot, and your lip curls in distaste at that. It's business, but it hits too close to home. You want to reassure him that he makes you happy, but it feels too honest, too raw. So you bite your tongue, keep quiet, give a snarky response online with your head in his lap.

---

"No I don't have thoughts about Mask -" your lip curls derisively. You've been listening to it on repeat. "What makes you think I spend my time thinking about Florida Man?" He'd think it was ironic, think it was amusing; you'd hear it before it had been released, sitting on the end of his bed, chin propped up on your hand as you beamed at him. He seemed pretty nonchalant as he'd asked you what you'd thought, but as you'd given a gentle, adoring sigh that spoke volumes on its own, you'd seen the way his posture had relaxed, the proud little smile he'd turned back to his monitor to hide.

"Everyone's a musician these days I guess," faced with the invasive reporter, you rolled your eyes.

---

The people you call friends because you know you should hide the way they look down on gaming, on streaming; it's good for clout, but it's not like it's a real job. Don't they get that none of your jobs are real? Influencers are the lucky, pretty few, famous for existing at right place at the right time. You didn't expect this. You didn't grow up wanting to be on display like you are now.

They think you'll join in on their scorn, and though you've got your public beef, of course, you're heart hasn't been in it for a long time.

"Its clown on clown violence," you'd muttered darkly, glowering into the frypan you'd been put in charge of. Sapnap, cutting vegetables beside you, sorts a laugh, and asks what your friends would say if they could see you now. Quiet now, you focus on the sizzling pan before you.

"They'd think you've been a bad influence on me," you murmur, expression scrunching up. Becoming friends with Sapnap was inevitable, and was amusing to the rest of the world; taking a liking to your perceived arch-enemy's best friend was a delightful twist of fate.

After a long moment of silence, with only the gentle cooking noises to fill the space between you, he tells you he likes you better offline. It might be one of the nicest things anyone's ever said to you.

---

Florida is better than LA, socially, but not by much. There's less influencers per capita. Small miracles.

The nights feel long here, but maybe there's too much on your mind for you to get to sleep. You post on your IG asking if anyone was awake and nearby. Predictably your DMs are flooded, but you're not sure what you're looking for, what you want. A few other sleepless friends respond, asking if you wanna meet up, make some impromptu content. Everything about you had become monetised, even your insomnia; everything tastes sour as you read through their messages.

But Dream texts you asking if you want to go for a drive. You don't even ask where, you just say yes.

You're in your pyjamas when he picks you up, but then again so is he, brightly patterned cotton shorts against the fancy leather seats. There's already music playing when you curl up in the front seat, some songs you recognise, some you don't, but it's enough to keep your thoughts at bay.

Streetlights glowing rose gold along the highway, you don't care where he's going. Even in the dark, when you turn to look at him, you can catch the serious, pensive look on his face.

You want to tell him you love him, but you can't open your mouth.

He drives up the coast in the dark, until the sky and sea begin to turn lilac beyond the windows. On a lookout near a town whose name you don't know, the two of you sit on the hood of his car and watch the sunrise. He's got his arm around you, resting his head against yours, and for a moment, you close your eyes.

"I wish I could tell people how happy you make me," your voice the thought that had been plaguing for months, and Dream holds you a little tighter. He turns, in that moment, and presses a fond smile against your temple, followed by a kiss.

After a moment, you pull out your phone, and quietly ask if you can take a photo of the two of you. He hesitates, but only for the barest moment.

"Who am I gonna send it to; Sapnap?" You asked, though the moment may be more revealing than you'd intended, as the realisation flashes through your mind that the two of them had somehow become your closest friends, and perhaps the only two friends you honest felt like you could trust.

But it's enough to convince Dream, whose smile is half hidden with the way he's resting his head against yours, the two of you warm and full of joy in the light of the sunrise. Something about the photo has your breath catching in your throat.

You make the photo your phone background. He doesn't comment, but when you glance to him, you can see how wide his smile is.

---

The change is gradual. Bit by bit you force yourself back to being the person you started out as, the person you were offline, the version of you that you actually liked. It's the return of authenticity, of doing the things you actually enjoyed instead of whatever was on trend.

You didn't go to parties if you didn't like the people. You stopped making content with the people you knew were just using you for clout. You let yourself find joy in the work you did.

The people who mattered in your life respected it, applauded it, encouraged it. It felt good to laugh on camera and mean it. The uptick in followers may be from how genuine you were now being with the content you made, but with each day, you found yourself caring less and less about the numbers. It was freeing.

---

"I love you."

He says it first, late at night, for no reason that you can see. You'd been in his kitchen, one earbud in and video pause as you were whisper-ranting about how Tommyinnit didn't deserve the shit he got online-

"- he's good kid, and damn funny too! If I hear someone shittalk him in real life, I don't know, I feel like I'd start biting people - or maybe I'm biased, or need sleep; what time is it? -"

"I love you," and he's giving you this adoring look that had the words dying in your throat as you process the moment. He's sitting on his kitchen counter, wearing your merch hoodie, looking like something out of a dream you'd once had. Then, softly, finally, you find your voice and the words you've been longing to say;

"I love you, too."

His smile grows a touch wider, a touch fonder.

And you wonder where it came from, somehow without seeing how long the moment had been coming.

---

You agree to be on podcasts because the concept intrigues you, and happily and candidly admit that your shift in branding, in tone, in vibe if you will, was down to one thing; love.

And yes, finding someone was the catalyst, but it was realising that you didn't even like who you'd become that had been the driving force behind the change. You wanted to be able to love the content you created. You wanted to be able to love the version of yourself you put out into the world.

But the only thing the audience cares about, of course, is the revelation that you're in love.

---

[has enough time passed? am i allowed to admit publicly that i simp for @dream]

"Babe!" Comes shouted from the next room over less than thirty seconds after you post your tweet. The comes your boyfriend, practically tackling you, grinning from ear to ear as he bemoans how there's no way he can respond to that without giving anything away. You're cackling with delight at his dilemma, before pointing out that unless it was spelled out, no-one would be able to guess at the truth.

In the end, he quote tweets your post with [on your enemies-to-lovers arc i see].

---

There's an afternoon where you fall asleep on his sofa wearing one of his merch hoodies, one of his personal ones, oversized even on him, that had been tossed to the side but still clean enough for your liking. He'd been trying to get a cute and not-blurry photo of Patches in some of the new pet-merch, but she wasn't interested, clearly, preferring to trot out to you, curling up, radiating purrs by your stomach as you napped.

The photo he takes doesn't have your face in frame, but if anyone looked hard enough they could probably make an educated guess as to who was in the photo. There's something so soft about it, about how Patches was blinking happily at the camera as her little paws came to rest on your arm, warm and comfortable in the afternoon light.

"Patches, my beloved," you mumble groggily as you crack an eye open. It takes you half a moment to take in the scene, but you seem content to brush off her apparent favouritism by telling him that the hoodie smells like him. Your half asleep mind meant it to be an explanation for the cat's behaviour, but as you close your eyes again, you miss the way he goes vaguely pink and endeared, as you bury yourself further into the hoodie as best you can.

When you wake properly, you give your blessing for him to post it to Instagram. But the thing that catches you off guard is that he's made it his lock screen.

---

"Accidentally shittalking you might be the best thing I ever did," you murmur, tracing his features, illuminated by the moonlight streaming through the window. He laughs, and your fingers follow the curve of his cheek. Like this, he is beautiful, and he is yours.

You want to tell him you love him, so you do.

#dreamwastaken #dream #dream x reader #dreamwastaken x reader #dream imagine #dreamwastaken imagine #mcyt #mcyt x reader #shut ur pretty mouth #Spotify

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channiebbang · 3 years

Text

just listen, trust me.

synopsis: a misunderstanding drives jaemin away from the only person that he should've trusted. when reality slaps him in the face he feels miserable and tries to win his love back. or something of the sort lol

characters: Jaemin, Main Character, Jeno, and a bit of Haechan, Renjun, Chenle, Mark and Jisung.

pairing: boyfriend!jaemin x f.maincharacter

genre: angst angst angst and fluff

word count: 7k (fucking hell it's THAT long?) sorry lmao

warnings: none

author’s note: this took way too long to finish jfvamejgf but i really couldn't come up with a good enough ending. or more like i couldn't write down what i wanted to write lol but i finally finished it heheh i hope you like it and it satisfies the wait i made you go through lol 💛💛

the many things people told him echoed in his head. the dimmed lights of his studio room and the slow, low beat of the music not doing much to brighten up his mood.

she's being too friendly with that one friend of yours, don't you think?

he's warming up too much to her.

watch out, you wouldn't want someone to whisk her away from you, she is a bit naive, she could be affected too easily.

and it would all have fallen to deaf ears, because he was never one to let anyone talk about his personal life, only if one of his closest friends hadn't said something.

"jaem," jeno's voice made jaemin turn to his friend. jeno looked around to their other friends before figuring out they wouldn't let what he was going to say out of the circle.

"yeah," jaemin smiled at jeno, remnants of his laugher from what renjun was saying. jeno cleared his throat still unsure how to approach the topic.

as soon as the news reached his ears he had searched for his friend. he was unsure of the news but he figured jaemin could always ask y/n and they would solve things if it were to be lies. what jeno didn't know at the time was all the other stuff jaemin had heard.

"listen," jeno started, tongue darting out to wet his dry lips, "i.. people are saying some stuff and i-," he cleared his throat again, in nervousness, "i thought i should let you know. i don't think they are true at all! but... one can never be too sure, right?" he asked, voice unsure as his eyes darted to meet jaemin's. the latter's brows furrowed in confusion, wondering what the hell jeno was talking about and he was just about to ask when he continued.

"in case it's wrong then you guys can always just clear it out but i heard this from someone close and thought i would let you know either ways," jeno's hand scratched his neck in nervousness.

"just fucking say it, oh my god," chenle huffed, impatient with the suspense the older was building up.

"i swear to god, if you say something like a joke," haechan warned, mark snorting.

"i'm serious, just," jeno groaned, wondering why he had to be the one to break the news.

"just tell me, jeno," jaemin smiled and jeno felt the already heavy load on his shoulder get 20 kgs heavier. he took a deep breath. all in one go, he thought, just like a band aid.

"y/n is cheating on you."

and jaemin's world fell apart.

everyone could have been wrong but jeno? could jeno be wrong too?

silence. total silence followed as jaemin's smile fell and his eyes stared ahead to jeno but not really.

he thought about y/n, thought if he could picture her doing anything like than and the answer came right away, even before he finished his thought. no. just no. she could never. but they always said it's the people you least expect it from. but y/n? she could never... right?

"what the fuck are you talking about?" it was mark who had spoken, the defensive tone evident in voice as he did nothing to mask it and jeno looked away from jaemin's eyes to the eldest.

"y/n could never, she's not like that," renjun chuckled drily, in disbelief.

"jeno, are you sure about this?" haechan raised a hand in front of him to assess the grave situation.

"that's what i said. i heard this from someone who's reliable, i can't say who, though."

jaemin cleared his throat catching everyone's attention. he gulped the lump in his throat before he looked around the group.

"i'll handle this, don't worry."

that was all he said but even if he sounded calm and collected, his eyes said a different story, and his clenched jaw showed a different side of the coin. and as much as they wanted to believe he would handle it with care with y/n, they saw the storm coming even before he did. because jaemin's eyes were on fire, he was aflame. and that uncertainty he had before had just been consumed with jeno's confirmation. jaemin's tipping point was reached. as he turned to walk away a hand grasped his arm.

"jaemin," it was jisung, jaemin waited for him to go on.

"she would never do that." was all he said.

the ding of his phone's notification brought him back from the memory. he reached out to his phone deciding this could no longer be avoided. he was determined enough. with these thoughts running in his head he dialed y/n's number and pressed the phone to his ear.

"hello? jaem?" she answered, and he sighed because how could she sound so angelic, and how was he supposed to confront her when he felt his heart tighten just by her voice. he sucked up the weakness he felt for her when she called out his name again.

"hey, where are you?" he asked softly, but no matter how much he tried to conceal it, the coldness in his voice seeped through.

"i'm at the cafe near my apartment with kyunhae," she giggled and at the mention of the name jaemin saw red. what the fuck was she doing with him?

"when will you be done? i need to talk to you," he deadpanned, voice colder than y/n had ever heard and she felt at alert right away. why was he talking like that?

"jaem?" wonder laced her voice as she silently asked what was up but jaemin said nothing.

"it's urgent," he specified and y/n had asked him to pick her up right away, sensing something was wrong. and jaemin was left confused to stare at his phone again.

how long are you gonna pretend you care about me? why are you doing me this dirty? why are you faking caring about me?

with those thoughts he had gotten up, whisked his jacket from behind his bedroom door and out of the house he was.

as he drove through the streets he tried to think again, he tried to figure out again if she could really have cheated on him. he was desperate for it to be a lie but then again, jeno had confirmed it, hadn't he?

could the girl that held him so tightly when they slept, cheat on him? could the girl he grew to love so much do this to him? how could she even think about it when she cried during children's movies, had ice cream cravings out of nowhere, cried in his arms, clinging to him when he had almost fainted from low blood pressure, helped him stand back on his feet whenever he was sick, babying him through the whole process. how could she cheat on him when she kissed him so softly, as if he was the most precious thing she had, when she held him so close as he murmured sweet nothings in her ears, when she looked at him with so much love when he smiled, when right as he laughed he would look over at her and she would be staring at him. her excuse? she loved seeing him happy. how could the same person that confessed her love for him in between shallow breaths, gasps and whines as he made her feel good be the same person to cheat. how could she make him feel so loved and so important if it was all fake.

it took him a total of twenty minutes to reach the cafe. he parked the car outside as he texted y/n he was out front. he waited for her leaned against the side of his car.

the door to the entrance to the cafe opened and y/n walked out first, face turned behind her as she laughed with kyunhae. jaemin's hands balled into fists as he watched the interaction, the anger swam in his veins as he watched y/n collide her fist against his in a fist bump before calling out a text me later.

y/n turned out front to jaemin and the way her eyes seemed to genuinely spark up in bright stars as soon she saw him had his heart clenching in pain. how long have you been mastering this act? how can you look this genuine?

"hi, handsome," she gushed as she pressed her chest to his, arms wrapping around his neck as she pressed a soft kiss to his jaw. jaemin gulped, eyes trained to her relaxed expression, eyes closed and a soft smile on her lips as she hugged him standing on her tippy toes. his arms shoot out out of habit as they went to wrap around her waist before his hands hovered over her frame. he couldn't do it. he couldn't pretend everything was okay.

as y/n didn't feel jaemin hug her back she pulled away slowly, her eyes looking up at him as her arms slowly fell away from him.

"jaem?" she softly called him and his eyes met hers, cold as ever. her hand raised to rest on his cheek in affection but before she could touch his skin, his fingers wrapped around her wrist and stopped her in her tracks. y/n's brows furrowed in confusion.

"let's go," he simply said as he stepped away and opened the passenger seat door for her, y/n looked at him for a few seconds more as he looked to the side and waited for her to get in, so she did.

the silence was eating y/n alive as she fidgeted with her fingers, suspecting something was wrong. she raked her brain, wondering if she did or said anything wrong but it all came empty.

"jaem?" she tentatively called for him. jaemin waited for a few seconds before he hummed in acknowledgement, but even that small sound seemed cold, colder than he had ever been.

"is something wrong?" she softly asked, hand reaching out to grasp his and intertwining their fingers before resting it on her lap. but as soon as the back of his hand rested against her jeans clad thigh he shook off her hand to grasp the wheel again.

she sat frozen, eyes trained where their hands were, her hand still in her lap the same way he had shook it off. what did i do so bad? she wondered.

"i'm driving," came his excuse but she knew something else was up. he had never rejected her touch like this.

"if something is wrong please tell me, i'll help you," she shook off the hurt before turning to him and sending a small smile, eyes pleading, but jaemin stared ahead, silent.

a few minutes later jaemin parked the car in his apartment building garage before swiftly getting out and waiting for y/n. it took her a few seconds before she was out too. they made their way to the elevators. the elevator came, they got in, and it went up to jaemin and his friend's apartment floor. all in silence.

jaemin walked in first, leaving the door open for y/n. as she closed the door behind her she made eye contact with jisung. the boy smiled warmly at the girl and stepped towards her.

"oh! didn't know you were coming over, want some?" he raised the hot pot of ramen, seemingly on the way to his room, and y/n smiled shaking her head as she took her shoes off.

"i ate, but thank you," she smiled warmly and jisung threw her a thumbs up before walking to his room and closing the door.

y/n walked into the apartment looking around for which way jaemin went before her eyes fell on his seated figure in the living room. everyone seemed to be in their own rooms apart from mark, who stood in the kitchen.

"hey," he waved, a warm smile on his lips before his eyes shifted jaemin and his smile dimmed a bit, y/n waved back.

she shuffled towards jaemin, still confused as to what happened.

"jaemin?" she called for him, his head snapped her way before he slowly stood up.

"do you have anything to tell me?" he asked and y/n thought hard and careful if she had forgotten anything but came up with nothing so she timidly shook her head, hands picking at the border of her tshirt. the one that belonged to jaemin.

"did i forget anything?" she murmured, head low as she felt guilty for forgetting something that affected him so much.

"you have nothing to tell me?" he repeated, a scoff following and y/n looked back up at him, her brows furrowed.

"okay, let me ask you this," he said, hands resting on his hips as he looked up at the ceiling. mark watched, debating whether he should leave or not, but then choosing against it, someone had to try and do damage control.

"what is kyunhae to you?" at the new question y/n's brows furrowed even more.

"jaem what are you reaching at?" she asked, confusion eating her alive. jaemin's eyes sent daggers her way and she realized that she never wanted to have that gaze on her ever again.

"answer my question; what. is. kyunhae. to. you?" he asked again, emphasizing his words. the agitation clear in his voice as he ran a hand through his hair. mark stepped into the living room area.

"jaemin, chill," he tried to calm the younger and prevent him from saying anything he would regret later. this wasn't how he thought jaemin would handle things.

"why can't she just answer?!" jaemin exclaimed. the more she delayed her answer the more anger rose in him. her lips quivered seeing a jaemin she had never seen. he had never talked to her like that, with so much hartred.

"he's just a friend! that's all! why are you asking me that!" she answered, her voice a notch higher as she felt attacked. the way he talked to her made her feel defensive. she had never felt attacked by him and she was scared, she didn't know what happened, why he was acting like that. but no matter how naive she was she wasn't stupid.

she heard what people said about her, she knew things reached jaemin's ears in the past and she had done everything in her power to show him he was the only person she loved, only person she cared about. that he was her everything, her all. she had gifted him with a matching promise ring, to reassure him that she was his, always will be. she had told him not to listen to anyone, only her. she loved him, she really did. that's why she always told him when she would be out with kyunhae, she wanted him to know that whenever he needed it she will drop him and come running to jaemin. because jaemin was her priority. she had told him about meeting him today too but jaemin had forgotten it seems.

"then why the fuck do i hear different things?" he all but screamed and y/n stood frozen on her spot, scared. he had never raised his voice at her, much less in the process of accusing her of anything.

"i swear jaem," her voice came out in a trembled whisper as jaemin breathed heavily, "none of it is true, i swear," she pleaded, her eyes stinging in desperation. she needed him to believe her.

"you're lying," he shook his head, an empty chuckle leaving his lips as he threw his head back in disbelief and anger, "you've been lying for who knows how long," he muttered and y/n's brows furrowed, offended.

"i have never lied to you," she breathed out, before she remembered mark standing nearby. she took two quick steps towards him, taking a hold of his hand softly, "jaem, let's talk about it in your room, okay? let's solve this," she pleaded as she softly pulled his hand but jaemin snatched his arm away from her.

"no," he shook his head, "we're gonna do it here, so you can't lie to me anymore," his voice rose as he pointed around him and y/n's eyes blurred in frustration and hurt. how could he be like this.

"jaem what has gotten into you?" she asked, voice a tremble as the first tears threatened to spill, "please, i don't want to lose you, let's calm down and talk about this," she pleaded again.

"if you didn't want to lose me you should've thought about it before you cheated on me!"

y/n felt her heart break at his words, she felt like he had pushed her off of a building, she felt like the ground was snatched from under her feet and she was left falling into the void. the emotion swam in her expression.

"what's going on?"

mark's head snapped towards renjun and haechan's figures as they stepped out of their rooms and into the living room, eyes widened in alarm shifting from y/n to jaemin and then to mark.

mark shook his head. the three looked at y/n, her emotions set on her face and they knew right away they had the whole situation wrong. jaemin had it wrong.

she didn't look alarmed, caught in the act or guilty, she looked down right betrayed, hurt, and deceived.

"i did nothing of the sort, jaemin," her voice came out offended, disbelief swimming in her tone.

"jaem," haechan walked in front of his friend, partially blocking y/n's view, "that's enough, calm down," he muttered lowly, only jaemin hearing him. jaemin shook his head as he pushed haechan away softly.

"no, i need to know why," he insisted, "why would you do that to me? why not just tell me?" he asked again.

"i didn't do anything! i understand you heard it somewhere but hell, jaemin, at least ask me before you assume the worst!" she exclaimed her arms raising and dropping by her sides.

"and you're still fucking lying to me!" he raised his voice again in exasperation.

"i have no reason to lie to you! why are you saying all this to me? how could i ever do that to you, jaem?" her voice grew quiet at the end, just the thought of his implications finally sending the tears tumbling down her cheeks. jaemin scoffed.

"exactly, how could you do that to me?! all i ever did was treat you with care, i always put you first!" he countered again, the vein in his neck popping.

"jaem, you're not listening to me, please, just listen to me," she pleaded a sob escaping her lips as she stepped closer t him, her hands grasping his cheeks in desperation for him to look at her eyes, to believe her, "i love you, i would never ever do anything like that, please trust me, let them all be, just trust me."

but jaemin took a hold of her hands and let them fall in between them.

"what if it's someone close to me that told me," he scoffed stepping away.

"jaemin don't," renjun interfered, standing in front of y/n, blocking her completely from jaemin's eyes.

"just go home y/n," jaemin shook his head as his fingers ran trough his hair and he turned away.

"yah, you're exaggerating," mark called him out and jaemin threw him a glance.

"then why bring me here? why do this in front of everyone when you could've done that when you met me, why this whole thing?" she asked quietly. she didn't know what she felt, she didn't know who this person in front of her even was.

she understood jaemin, she really did. hearing so many things from so many people must've played with his head, she understood it. but fucking hell she wished he had talked to her about it, about all of it. she wished he didn't lash out on her, she wished he had just remembered who she was and how much she loved him. she was a person too, wasn't she? she could get hurt too, right?

when jaemin didn't answer she hurriedly turned around, making her way to the door. she fleetingly saw the youngest two silently standing in front of their door at the commotion but she paid no mind to that. all she wanted was to go away. y/n felt so lost, so betrayed; why didn't he believe her? why didn't he just ask her?

"y/n wait-" haechan tried to call back the girl but she was already out of the door, quickly walking to the elevator and pressing repeatedly on the button.

"fucking hell jaem, is this how you planned to handle it? really?" renjun scolded the black haired guy. jaemin sat on the couch, head in his hands and eyes brimming with tears. suspiciously all their phones dinged one after the other. chenle and jisung looking at each other in confusion as they were the only ones to notice.

mark ran out of the apartment slowly coming to a stop in beside of y/n. she kept her head down, tears dripping on the floor from the tip of her nose as she sniffled.

"y/n," mark took a hold of her elbow, "wait for a second, you can't leave alone. it's late, I'll take you home, hmm?" he tried to persuade her softly, careful not to be too loud. but she shook her head.

"thank you, but i need to be alone," she whispered, her shoulder shaking as she took in a harsh breath. mark's eyes softened.

"let me call you an uber, at least?" he offered again, hand caressing her hair in affection but she shook her head again.

"I'll be okay," she muttered as the doors to the elevator dinged and opened. y/n took a step forward before coming to a stop when another pair of shoes came into her view, she stepped aside muttering a sorry.

"oh, y/n..?" jeno's voice was surprised, his phone held on his hand and his eyes wide. he looked at mark, who held the most disappointed look on his face, brows furrowed. jeno looked back at y/n in confusion.

she looked up at his voice and the sight of her wet cheeks, red nose and swollen eyes sent an alarm to jeno. his eyes widened as he stammered.

"fuck, y/n, I'm so sorry- i didn't know-" jeno was at a loss of words as realization dawned on y/n and she smiled bitterly.

"it's okay," she simply said as she walked into the elevator and waited for the doors to close.

jaemin looked up as mark and jeno walked into the apartment, just at the same time as jisung and chenle stumbled out of their rooms, phone grasping in their hands.

"hyung, you gotta see this," chenle shoved his phone into jaemin's face. the latter took in a deep breath, taking the phone from the younger.

"jaem," jeno muttered, eyes remorseful, "i'm so sorry," he solemnly muttered out, and jaemin furrowed his brows in confusion before looking at the screen of chenle's phone.

under the instagram picture, written in bold letters, the words "SHE SAID YES" and the small line underneath "thank you y/n for helping me make it even more memorable" were mocking him. and as jaemin ran his fingers through his hair for the nth time that evening and gripped his roots in a vice like grip, his eyes scanned the picture. the picture of kyunhee and who he assumed was his fiancé now. jaemin felt like the biggest idiot in the planet.

so as y/n helped kyunhee with the preparations of his engagement party with the biggest smile she could muster up, the happiness she painted on didn't quite reach her eyes. jaemin had tried again and again to contact her but y/n made it a point to ignore all his texts and all his calls, only using her phone when extremely needed.

she helped her dear friend through the whole process, never missing a beat to tell him and the lucky girl how proud she was of them both.

kyunhee felt guilty taking her help, so much so that y/n had screamed at him to not give her the pity look. she had explained that she needed the distraction and after much thought he let her handle whatever she wanted.

he told himself if he ever came face to face with jaemin he would've made him taste his fist, but he knew they would resolve their misunderstanding. of course they would, they loved each other infinitly after all.

y/n was surprised when two days after the break up her mother came knocking on her door. at first she had thought jaemin had called her and as soon as she was about to send her mother away, the older woman had told, "i knew something wasn't right, i could feel it." and so y/n had her dearest mother at her apartment, making sure she got the energy she needed and she ate well.

jaemin on the other hand was lost. completely lost. he beat himself up for how he had talked to y/n, he scolded himself for not having talked it out. he regretted not listening to her when she was asking for him to listen.

he tried calling her a thousand times. he tried texting her from the boys' phones and every time he would let a dry laugh out when she would reply "tell jaem i don't want to speak." he knew his girl knew him too well and he felt worse every time because how did he let go of her? what an idiot.

so it was with a heavy heart and jaw clenched in embarrassment that jaemin was standing in front of a building, waiting for the one he misunderstood. truth be told, he was nervous, for what he still didn't know but he had a hunch.

"jaemin," a voice pulled him out of his thoughts and jaemin turned to his right to come face to face with a poker face kyunhee. he cleared his voice, holding out his hand for a handshake.

"hey, i hope i didn't mess up your schedule, i can only imagine how busy you are," jaemin smiled a tight lipped smile. kyunhee stared at him for a second before deciding to be cooperative for y/n's sake. he grasped jaemin's hand and gave it a firm shake before letting go.

"you technically did," he sighed, jaemin's brows furrowed, a confused sound leaving his lips, "mess up my schedule. i had an appointment i had to cancel," kyunhee said, arms crossing over his chest. jaemin blinked for a few seconds before muttering a soft sorry in embarrassment. silence fell upon the two guys. kyunhee's eyes stayed put on jaemin's wavering ones. he could practically see the wheels turning in the black haired guy.

"what the hell are you guys doing?" kyunhee sighed then. jaemin's eyes snapped on him, eyes wide in alarm.

"i-i'm very sorry for misunderstanding your intentions. i really am," jaemin blabbed, kyunhee rolled his eyes.

"why are you apologizing to me when the person you should apologize to is somewhere else?" kyunhee asked as a matter of fact.

"she doesn't want to talk to me," jaemin whispered, eyes looking away and jaw clenching. kyunhee scoffed catching jaemin's attention again.

"yeah no shit she doesn't," the newly engaged one spat out and jaemin let out a humorless snicker, head nodding.

"you acted like a total dick to her, i don't even know how she hasn't blocked you yet," kyunhee shot again and jaemin listened, for he knew he deserved it. the former's eyes softened for a second at jaemin's obvious miserable eyes, before hardening again.

"oi, dickhead," he called jaemin, foot kicking at his shin, jaemin ducked to hold his shin out of instinct, eyes snapping up in despair.

"oi! what was that for?" he called.

"i won't tell you to go to her place and beg for forgiveness, because quite frankly, that's not going to work," kyunhee deadpanned and jaemin nodded, hanging to his every word.

"give her time, jaemin, she's hurt," he continued.

jaemin stared at the floor at his feet as he thought. guilt enveloping him in its arms as usual these days. he took a deep breath again and looked up at his girlfriend's friend, he offered a small smile.

"thank you, really," jaemin muttered, genuine gratefulness in his voice, "for holding her up, i know it should've been me but i'm glad she has a friend like you, i'm really sorry again."

"it's okay, don't worry about it. just think about what kind of pose you need to hold when you're begging on your knees for her forgiveness," kyunhee bit back in a lighter tone, feeling weird about all the formality. jaemin snorted the real smile in a while, grateful kyunhee got rid of the heavy serious air around them.

"congratulations on your engagement, by the way," jaemin clapped the side of kyunhee's arm and the latter thanked him, before a thought hit him and his eyes squinted as he looked at jaemin.

"uhhh why are you looking at me like that?" the black haired one asked, an unsure tone to his voice.

"you know what? why don't you..."

"the place looks so pretty!" y/n turned to her mother with a proud smile as the older woman looked around the engagement party venue with sparkling eyes, "you did a great job, love," she turned to y/n and lovingly caressed her face.

"thank you, mom," y/n giggled, her hand grasping her mom's as they made their way through the crowd.

the venue was decorated in hues of white and lilacs, the stage at the front of it was decorated with fresh flowers and thin branches giving it a very fresh look.

her eyes lit up when she saw her dear friend and his fiancé in the distance.

"let's go say hi to kyunhee," she told her mother as they made their way towards the couple.

it was thirty minutes later, when y/n was enjoying her time with a few friends and their families that the murmurs started.

at first y/n didn't pay any attention to it because who cares if a handsome guy was at the party, she was already taken. well. not anymore, but that didn't change the fact that her heart lay where jaemin was.

so imagine her surprise when she turned around to look around the place and her eyes fell on none other than the handsome guy everyone was talking about. na jaemin.

as soon as their eyes met y/n's head snapped towards kyunhee a few meters away, talking to another guest, and the piece of shit had the audacity to smile at her and throw a wink before returning his eyes to the guest.

jaemin slowly came to a stop beside her, back as straight as a wooden plank, shoulders tense. he threw a tight lipped smile around the few people surrounding him as he greeted them.

"jaemin dear?" y/n's mother's eyes sparked up in adoration and y/n smiled softly at the scene as her mom engulfed a chuckling jaemin in her arms, hands grasping his face softly as she gushed over him.

"how long it has been, love, how are you?" she asked and jaemin chuckled before patting her back and stood back up straight to look at her.

"too long, sorry i couldn't come to say hi sooner, i was stuck with all the assignments i pushed back," he apologized, ever the gentleman and y/n's eyes stung a bit as she blinked.

"ahh you study so well, but don't neglect your health," she smiled again as she hugged him tighter and jaemin nodded hugging her back. what he didn't expect was the words the older woman whispered in his ear as she pulled away.

"make things right, love, fight for each other," and she gave him the most loving smile as she said something about enjoying the evening and walked to a group of ladies.

jaemin's eyes fell on y/n and she looked away as jaemin stepped up beside her as she pulled away from the small group, saying something about getting a glass of prosecco.

she threw him a side glance as she stopped at the table.

"why are you following me," at the sound of her voice jaemin let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. his hand twitched to hold hers.

"i wanted some prosecco," he muttered and a small smile pulled at his lips when she blushed in embarrassment before nodding and moving away with the glass in her hand, jaemin doing the same. the two stood at the side in silence.

"y/n," jaemin called after a while and y/n hummed, her eyes trained to the live band, "i'm very sorry," he whispered. y/n stopped in the middle of taking a sip before detaching the glass from her lips.

"i don't want to talk about it, jaem," she muttered before taking the sip, finishing the content in the flute all in one go. jaemin's hand rested against the back of her waist in reflex.

"slow, you're gonna get dizzy," he muttered and y/n could hear the worry in his tone, and she hated it because how could he sound like that after all he had said.

there were a few things that put jaemin's worry at rest. that assured him that y/n was still is girl. he felt a small smile tug at his lips when she called him by his nickname, when she didn't push away his hand on her waist, his chest puffed out, and when she nodded at his words of worry he felt himself relax a bit.

"you're beautiful," he muttered loud enough for only y/n to hear as he took a sip of his prosecco, eyes set on her as she turned around with narrowed eyes, only to blush like crazy when her eyes met his. jaemin's eyes held an intimacy she couldn't hold right now. he let out a deep chuckle when her chest and neck set up in flames.

they stood there side by side as they watched the many couples dancing. jaemin's eyes would settle on her every few seconds, so much so that she could feel it every time.

"what are you two doing?" y/n's mother's voice made the couple's head snap to the side. y/n made sure a soft smile settled on her lips as her mother's friends followed her.

"who's this, y/n?" one of them asked, curious eyes settled onto jaemin, the latter giving a polite smile and a bow as he muttered his hellos. before y/n could answer, her mother chimed in.

"oh! this is jaemin, i told you about him! he's my daughter's boyfriend, such a gem, let me tell you. sweetest boy i ever met," she gushed, and y/n's panic stricken eyes met jaemin's smiling ones. her eyes narrowed at his pleased look.

"oh my, he's so gorgeous! you're absolutely stunning, dear!" one of the women smiled as she caressed his cheek and jaemin chuckled, muttering a thank you.

"well, what are you two doing here? go for a dance!" y/n's mother ushered as she pushed them to the clearing, where other couples were dancing.

y/n made to protest and push back but her words got swallowed up by the encouraging giggling of the older women as they stumbled upon the floor.

y/n looked at jaemin as he settled his prosecco flute on the tray of a passing waiter.

a few minutes later the two found themselves slowly swaying to the music. one of y/n's hands in jaemin's as his other hand rested against the middle of her back. his thumb brushed slowly in a comforting manner, so much so that y/n found herself stopping from leaning her head on his shoulder out of instict.

jaemin's eyes stayed on her features as hers looked anywhere but him. his heart hurt that she didn't want to even look at him, but he also understood. he had hurt her deeply, after all.

"y/n," he called, voice loud enough only for her to hear. she hummed in acknowledgment, "look at me," he tapped his thumb against her back and she reluctantly looked up at him.

"i'm sorry," he squeezed her hand, and she remained silent. she didn't know what to say. what do you say to sorry when you can't say it's okay? do you ignore it? do you say i heard you? do you just nod? what do you do?

people say sorry and expect everything to be fine, they say sorry when they know the answer is going to be it's okay. but, to y/n it wasn't okay, it couldn't be okay. she didn't know if it would be anytime soon or anything. all she knew was that she was hurt, extremely hurt. so she couldn't say it's okay.

she loved jaemin tremendously. so much so it was scary. she loved him so much her chest hurt sometimes, her lungs felt like giving out and her heart felt like squeezing the life out of it. it was painful how much she actually loved him. she felt like crying if she didn't ignore how much she actually loved him.

not because it was unhealthy, but because she knew she would give it all up for him. she couldn't dwell too much on the love she harbored for him, she just had to live with the knowledge that she loved him a lot. she knew if she tried to think about how much she loved him she would cry so much it would worry him. and she didn't know how she could ever explain that.

because how do you explain to someone you love them so much you want to cry because your heart hurts, it hurts so much because even your heart is too small to contain that much love. because you love everything about them, all of it. and you know how cheesy it is when people list out all the reasons why they love someone but your love is different; you can't pin point what exactly you love, you can't pin point what makes you happy about them, and you can't bring yourself to just find one physical attribute you love about them because that would be a lie, because that's not why you love them, and you can't say personality because as much as that's the closest thing as to why you love them, it's not quite there yet.

you just love them. the essence of what and who they are, with all their flaws and imperfections and all things perfect, it's just them entirely. it's their ability to smile when they're hurting, it's the way they make mistakes and they learn, the way they just are. and you can't explain it so you just accept it that when someone asks why you love them you'll just have to say a measly i love everything about them, and as cute as that sounds it's so basic and so underwhelming to what you actually feel but that's all that you're able to say.

so y/n stared at jaemin's eyes and her eyes stung and moistened up because she could feel her heart hurting, because she let herself actually feel how much she loved him. yes, he hurt her. yes, she was in pain. but the pain she felt from loving him was so much greater and so much more overwhelming.

jaemin was quick to softly push his hand on her back and encourage her to rest her head on his shoulder, knowing how much she hated crying in public. she gladly took the support, resting her forehead on his shoulder. he hushed her as his lips pressed against her hair.

"you hurt me," she said, and jaemin rested her hand clasped in his on his other shoulder, fingers squeezing hers, arm tightening around her back.

"i know, i'm so sorry, really, i'm so sorry, princess," he muttered, lips pressed to her hair.

"i felt like i lost everything," she started, voice trembling as she forced herself to not cry, "everything we build up, everything we went through, i felt like i lost all of it. i tried to care so much for you, i tried to show you how much i loved so hard, but i-" her voice choked, "-i felt like i lost it all, and you wouldn't even listen to me. i was so alone, i felt so alone," she continued, and jaemin's eyes stung as he listened to her, because that was all she needed; for him to listen to her.

he brought her hands behind his neck as he grasped her face in his hands and pulled her back to look her in the eyes. he sent her a soft smile as his thumbs caressed her cheeks.

"i'm so sorry i made you feel like that. i'm an absolute asshole,-" "yes you are," he chuckled as she interrupted him, "i will make it up to you. i swear, i will, please accept my apologies."

his lips downturned as she shook her head before his brows furrowed in confusion when she rested her head back on his shoulder and crossed her fingers at the back of his neck.

"make it up to me and maybe i will," she spoke softly and jaemin smiled fondly as he rest one arm around her waist and the other rose up to caress her head lovingly, and y/n's eyes closed at the action, a smile pulling at her lips.

"deal," he chuckled, before he smiled teasingly, "i'm surprised you didn't cry, you crybaby," he teased and she mutter a fuck you.

"why would i cry," she scoffed and jaemin laughed at her words.

after a beat of silence, "i read somewhere if you clench your butthole right when you're about to cry it stops the waterworks, guess it works."

and jaemin laughed loudly as she shook in his arms from her own laughter.

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becomingbts · 3 years

Text

Time heals (sometimes) - 1

Summary: 6 years ago, (Y/N) thought that she was finally taking her life into her hands, leaving behind a toxic and abusive relationship with a man who taught her she’d never be worthy of love. However, it became hard to ignore his words when she met her seven soulmates who rejected her without even giving her a chance to prove herself. It took (Y/N) 3 years to realize that it wouldn’t be her end. She would live on to prove them all wrong; she would become what they all thought she wasn’t: someone worthy of love. And as she stands proudly on the stage, under the burning spotlights and the applause and the cries of the delirious crowd, she feels alive. Alive, just like the bond she believed to be broken.

Pairings: Y/N x OT7

GENRE: Soulmate AU!, Idol Y/NAU!, semi social-media AU!, ANGST (mainly), fluff, romance, maybe smut in the series.

Ask or comment to be tagged!

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Warnings: The series is going to be heavy with a lot of personal experiences mixed into the fiction, so this is going to be kind of therapeutic for me. Please, consider not reading the series if you are not comfortable with: abandonment issues, anxiety, panic attacks, depression, self-harm (not descriptive and only part of MC’s past), suicide thoughts (in the past), toxic behavior, toxic and abusive relationship (in the past), depreciating self-talk and low self-esteem, a lot of curse, physical and mental pain, near death experience situation (in the past), and maybe smut scenes (happy ending though, but it will probably be quite the ride).

NOTE: So hello everyone, welcome to Time Heals (sometimes). Thank you so, so much for the warm welcoming, it has been my first time getting so many asks, I was honestly overjoyed. I still don’t really know what to call this part; is it a teaser? A note? A full chapter? I believe we’ll get some snapshot of memories like this one throughout the series because there is going to be a lot to unpack on both sides. I think it will be a chapter nevertheless because I have to establish some kind of order as to which parts should be read first, and I think this one is extremely important.

Thank you for reading,

-Dolly

Profiles #2 - here - part 2

Her scream pierced through the air while cries broke in the frenzied arena while a single blond-haired man froze, emptily staring at the stage. It felt like his senses heightened; his skin was shuddering, his eyes were frantically searching for one specific figure while his voice was lost in his throat. The screams resonating in the stadium would have been too loud for his voice to be heard anyway.

Jimin knew he shouldn’t be there.

Namjoon had told them more than once that none of them should try to go to one of (Y/N)’s events. It could be dangerous and they could be overwhelmed; anything could happen to them and they would still remain a nobody who fainted in the howling crowd. Would they want to take this risk? No.

So, Jimin would have had to admit that going to her very first concert in Seoul since the pandemic sounded like a very, very, very bad idea. And to be honest, it still didn’t seem to be a bright idea now that he was actually there.

But he still went because he needed to see her for himself; to see how she was. He had so many things he dreamed about asking her. Are you okay? Are you sleeping well? Did you eat before coming to the arena? Are you nervous? Do you... remember me?

Maybe he was torturing himself. He kept on watching her lives, following her on all social media, always made sure to leave a sweet comment, and never miss any of her new updates... Maybe he even had a folder of pictures of her on his phone but he’d never admit it to any of his mates. Taehyung would probably take his phone away from him and delete everything and Jimin couldn’t let that happen.

He felt like it was cheating. Don’t take him wrong though. When he thought that, he was not really thinking about the boys. They did collectively agree not to follow her activities as an artist but it was getting harder and harder with how popular she got anyway. Moon was everywhere. In commercials, on the radio, her songs were on the TV… Even if she was known for refusing most of the promotional contracts that were offered to her, her image was still constantly in the media despite her avoidance of it. Ironic, but the media were trying their best to find anything about her, be it positive or negative. One day she was seen on her bike, the next, she was in a coffee shop, and it kept on going on, overstepping on her privacy as if it was just a meaningless word.

The lockdown had admittedly played a major part in Jimin’s obsession. Being in their apartment meant quickly running out of activities, and his job as a dance teacher was not really filling his free time (a lot of his classes were also canceled). It was also during that time that (Y/N) truly blew up as an independent artist. Advertisement on YouTube started being around her channel and her music, the recommendations he kept on seeing were about also her… Jimin’s resolve honestly broke easily. It was hard not to be curious about his lost soulmate even though he didn’t feel like he had the right to be hurting.

Anyway, to come back to his main point, if Jimin felt like he was cheating; it was mostly for her. After all, (Y/N) had no means of letting the curiosity get the best of her, to know what they were doing; to simply see or contact them. He had, at first, not really thought about that. Watching her content seemed a very innocent thing to do in his opinion; billions of people were watching her content, why should he prevent himself from doing so? Yet, Jimin could still remember one of her live she did soon after that interview she had given on this damned radio show where she had revealed who her title track ‘TIME’ was about… She had gone live the next day-Jimin had jumped on his phone because of the notification-and one fan had asked her what would she do if she knew that her ‘ex-soulmates’ (and those words left a very sour taste in Jimin’s mind) were watching her. The question had silenced a previously restless Jimin, replacing his initial excitation with dread while a lump formed itself in his throat. He had not even noticed it; he was so focused on her live and her upcoming answer that Jimin had completely missed the sound of a glass breaking in the apartment. Jimin had been home alone, so even if had indeed heard it, he probably wouldn’t have bothered to check what had happened, thinking that the wind knocked it over or something. Jimin had been so absorbed by what he had been watching that he even got surprised a few hours later when Seokjin came home and yelled at him for breaking something when he had been clearly innocent, engrossed in (Y/N)’s live (not that he could tell his soulmates about that part, but yeah). (Y/N)’s live would always be more important than some random glass breaking again in their apartment. Every object was doomed with Namjoon living here anyway.

On her side of the screen though, (Y/N) had seemed taken aback as she had read the question and had gritted her teeth gently. She had seemed to be pondering about her answer even though a lot of people in her chat were telling her to forget about the question if it made her uncomfortable (a lot were even scolding the person who asked). Yet, sighing softly, she had looked up at the screen:

“I’d appreciate it if you could refrain from asking questions on this topic. It’s not taboo but I’d rather not remember everything that comes with it. However, to answer this-hopefully-last question about it, I’d ask them to turn off my stream and to stop watching any of my content. It would only be fair after all. I’ve been denied access to their lives six years ago, why would they get a free pass into mine now?” She had not smiled nor had she seemed hurt by her own comment, yet Jimin’s heart had shattered in pieces, unable to press the cancel button.

Her voice had slowly faded into background noise while her words had been stuck in his head.

I’d ask them to turn off my stream and to stop watching any of my content.

How could Jimin ever do that? He realized that he truly should. Namjoon would even agree with you, as ironic as it sounded for Jimin. Namjoon had been one of the most adamant ones about rejecting your bond, after all. Jimin was shaking with bitterness while ‘Moon’ continued her stream peacefully with music. Jimin could only try to gulp his anger down as he remembered her crumbling features on that fateful day.

“You’re not our soulmates. This name on our arms means nothing to us. You are nothing to us if not a hindrance. Leave us alone.”

If Jimin could go back in time, he’d prevent Taehyung from spatting those words at her. Yet, he couldn’t do anything. Playing the scene over and over in his mind wouldn’t change anything. It wouldn’t change that she probably hated them. It wouldn’t change the song she made about them.

And worst of all, it wouldn’t change the fact that Jimin had let himself believe that their choice had been for the best, trying to console and reassure himself, even if he had already known that it was wrong. Tears were pooling up in his eyes even if none escaped as he finally caught a glimpse of her on the stage. Suddenly brought back to reality after his subconscious memory trip, Jimin finally connected back to the world, looking around while he was still frozen on his spot. People were still screaming around him and he wondered if he looked like an intruder. Because, after all, wasn’t that what he exactly was? She said it herself that she didn’t wish for them to watch her; so what was he doing here?

Jimin couldn’t help but stare; she looked ethereal, dressed like a queen in the middle of a sold-out arena. People were screaming her name as she yelled her infamous ‘hi people’. It was an opening sentence that Jimin heard way too many times in her vlogs and suddenly hearing it in real life seemed surreal.

Jimin could only watch in awe, entranced with her everything.

Screw the boys and what they would think once he’d be back from her concert.

He had been the one to find her six years ago anyway. He had been the one to bring her to their home six years ago, hoping for the boys to change their mind once they’d meet her.

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parkers-gal · 3 years

Note

yay! okay so I was thinking, what I'd the reader and Tom had a fight, could be over anything, but the reader was pregnant and a few years after, they bump into each other and they get back together. Sorry if it doesn't make sense.

this has been sitting in my inbox for a fat couple of months… sorry 😭

wc: 1.7k ! <3

—

“No, because you’re selfish and you can’t handle the fact that my life doesn’t revolve around you and your needs.” Tom spits out the words angrily, viciously, voice harsh and crisp.

You’re both frustrated beyond belief, and the bubble that had been overblown had finally popped, splattering your relationship and all the joyful aspects of it. Right now, you felt as if all that was left was the toxicity of two unbearable people who happened to love each other. You knew, deep down, that you loved each other enough to get through this, but with every passing moment, with every exchanged word, you realized at least one of you wouldn’t survive the damage.

“No, Tom. You’re selfish. You’re conceited and you only care about being a goddamn movie star. What happened to the family man, huh? What happened to staying tied down with me and your brothers?”

“Nothing happened to him! I’m still that person. I am a family guy.”

“Not to me, you aren't.”

“Well you’re not family!” He seethes through his teeth, anger radiating off of his short-tempered demeanor. You don’t even know how to react, so you spend the time soaking in the situation and how you should respond instead of actually doing it.

“You’re a fucking jackass. I asked when I could spend time with you and now you don’t even consider me as part of the family.”

“No,” He’s clear and concise even through the anger. “You asked when I’m going to stop living my life.”

“I said no such thing.”

“You didn’t have to! We both know that’s what you meant.”

“You’re not even on the same page as me anymore,” You scoff, arms crossing. “Seems like all this time in Hollywood made you forget that you’re not always the main character.”

“Fuck that, Y/N! Fuck! That!”

“No, Tom. Fuck. You.” You over-express your emotions, and after two more minutes of unbearable silence and screaming, he’s leaving your apartment just as fast as he arrived. You’re in shock, fingers shaking while you clear your throat, which is frayed and sore from all the yelling.

You sit back, elbows on your knees while your hands smoothen out your forehead. Tear after tear escapes your sobbing body, and eventually, you fall asleep on the couch.

In the weeks to come, you’ve realized the blow-out of a breakup could’ve been handled so much differently, but Tom hasn’t seemed to cool down at all — he’s petty enough to unfollow you on all social media, and you figure it’s time to let the hatred be mutual. You don’t touch your imessages, however, letting the love in those texts linger for a little longer.

Before you know it, you’re throwing up into the toilet boil, coughing violently at the action and spitting the bitter taste as best you can. You clean up, and when you check your phone, a small notification from your period tracker app alerts you that this is the second period in a row that has gone by without a hello.

Worried, you call Aisha, your closest friend and confidant. She’s over in no time, bringing along her girlfriend while you rant on the phone about your worries. They stop at the drugstore on the way.

The cause of your problems is discovered that day, and you collapse on the bathroom floor in agony, hands wiping at your face — through all the anger and fear and worry, you still love Tom. So much that Aisha even attempts to call Tom. But, alas, it’s sent straight to voicemail, and you realize he might’ve gone to extreme extents in blocking everyone.

You’re stuck going to the ultrasound with two lesbians and a frail old cat. Aisha is as supportive as ever, but as the doctor explains the process of each option, you feel sicker and sicker about the idea of getting rid of the fetus. In the end, you choose to keep the child you’re bearing, even if your ex-lover isn’t even in the picture.

Inevitably, the months pass, and as baby Charlie is brought into the wonderful world, you realize life as a single mother isn’t as scary as you thought it would be. In the first few months of your pregnancy, you’d kept tabs on what film Tom was doing and which was coming out next, but after the hormones and cravings, you’d decided to let the past sizzle and fade out in the way it was meant to all along.

It’s been almost three years since that fateful breakup, and Charlie is just reaching two and a half years old. You’re still single, and you’re okay with that. Charlie is all you need, all you’ve ever wanted, and the most important thing in your life. He’s young, and school is still a couple years away, but you enjoy having the toddler by your side, walking hand in hand with you because you’re his guardian, his provider, his only parent. You make him your only priority, because you don’t want him to grow up without anyone to love, or anyone to love him.

It’s hard, though. It’s hard because he’s a constant reminder of what didn’t happen, a constant reminder of what went wrong and of what you no longer have. You miss Tom more than words can express, and Charlie’s mop of brown curls reminds you of all the moments you’d run your fingers through Tom’s hair. You reminisce more than you’d like to, about Tom and your past, and though Charlie is technically half of the Brit, he’s one hundred percent yours. Because you’re the only one here, and that’s alright.

“Mummy,” Charlie tugs on your shirt’s hem while you move the shopping cart forward through the aisle. “Can we get the goldfish with superheroes?”

You jutt your lip out in a smile, nodding happily. “Of course we can, bub.”

As you step forward, you pit stop in the aisle, nearly tripping on the cart. You make direct eye contact with the man you used to love with your entire heart. The man who walked out with your heart and never gave it back. He’s staring right back at you, curls looking as fluffy as ever, face still a soft glow. Your breath hitches, and it’s then that you realize Charlie is still talking.

“Mummy?” He asks, and it’s just loud enough for Tom to hear. Harry, who’s beside Tom with an arm full of crackers and chips. Tom moves forward a few steps, hastily in an attempt to get more information.

“Uh, hi,” His smile is tight lipped as he stands at the other end of your shopping cart. Charlie shies away from strangers, standing behind your leg and holding your shirt with his grubby hands.

“Hi,” you return his awkward, reserved demeanor.

“Mummy who’s this?”

“‘Mummy?’” Tom has a follow up question for everything, and you internally panic, unsure on how to approach this.

You’d spent so long deciding how you should tell Tom that he was a dad. You spent hours debating on if you should pick up the phone or drive over just to tell him a truth you’ve kept inside for so long. You’ve abandoned social media, only sharing aspects of your life you can afford to post. Charlie is only occasionally on your page, but it’s not like Tom would see that, not after all that’s happened.

Your mouth opens and closes while you debate on how to reply. You’re physically incapable of saying your response, and it makes you even more nervous. You’re nervous on how he might react, what he’ll say, but most importantly, if he’ll stay.

“Is this…?

“My kid…” You fill in. “I- I mean our… our kid.” You pull your bottom lip between your rows of teeth, and you watch as Tom’s face undergoes thousands of expressions all at once. He’s surprised, shocked, happy, afraid, uncertain. You want the world to swallow you whole, suck you up so you don’t have to go through any of this again. But you don’t. Instead, you hold Charlie’s hand a little tighter.

“Our kid?” He drops a can of soup and you flinch at the loud noise.

“Mummy, who’s that?”

“That’s…” You don’t know how to answer his question. Instead, you lean down to his level, comfortingly and gently. “He’s a man.”

“Who’s that man?”

“He’s… your daddy.”

“I thought… no daddy?”

You purse your lips and furrow your brows. Tom’s watching the entire encounter from his place, but after a few beats, he steps forward, entering your bubble. Charlie doesn’t cower away this time, but looks up in curiosity.

“Hi, Charlie,” Tom extends his hand, adjusting his jeans so he can lean down just as you are, kneeling beside the young boy.

You look down, avoiding your worries and Tom’s gaze. He’s tearing up, and you want to cry too. You’re in a fucking supermarket, for god’s sake. This wasn’t how you envisioned any of this planning out, and though you’re mentally kicking yourself for letting it happen this way, you can’t help but feel like maybe this was meant to be. Written in the stars or whatever the folks say — you’re just grateful Charlie has at least a sliver of hope for two parents. Not that you can’t handle it, because you can, but you know someone like Tom wouldn’t want to miss something as important as this.

“I’m To- I’m…” He swallows thickly, making brief eye contact with you before looking back at Charlie. “I’m your dad.”

“Do you love my mummy?” He’s not shameless, but he’s still that shy little boy. “My friend says daddy’s love mommy’s so you must love mine, right?”

Tom lets a tear fall while he exhales a chuckle. He swipes the drop with the tips of his fingers, and the hand gripping Charlie’s squeezes it a little tighter. A glance in your direction is all it takes for him to answer Charlie’s question. “Yeah, buddy. I do.”

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devilyn · 3 years

Text

belated regrets | kuroo tetsurou

— alexa, play: remember me by umi

Cuz I'm getting older Know that I've changed But I can't go back now Nothing's the same And I won't forget how You called my name When I was afraid And now I'm afraid

— synopsis: after taking advantage of your friendship, what will kuroo do to win it back? — genre: angst, friends to lovers if you squint — word count: 3.1k

This wasn't like you. You had stopped crying over Kuroo months ago. You stopped thinking about whether or not he had eaten yet, if he had gotten home safe, if he would text you goodnight, and yet here you were. You were crying again, after claiming you moved on and healed, and after telling all your friends that you would cut him out of your life.

You wish you blocked his number. It felt mean to do it back then, but you really wish you did, because now you definitely wouldn't be able to.

"I think we should take some time apart," were the words you whispered to him over the phone one night a few months back when he was telling you about some girl he had gotten close to in his chemistry lecture.

There was a painful silence that lasted over 15 long seconds. You'd never forget. You counted, after all.

"Why?" he asked quietly. "You're my best friend. What did I do wrong?"

Your 'friendship' had always been strange, after all. Everyone told you that, and even Kenma firmly believed that the two of you would end up dating eventually. But every time, Kuroo would laugh and ruffle your hair while proclaiming he would never date you.

And every time, you'd force a smile and agree with him.

"This friendship...just isn't what it used to be," you answered. It was true. Ever since the two of you got to college, things had changed. He met different people through his classes and bustling parties, and thus different girls that he'd ask you about. You manufactured his sweet texts to them, all while wishing he'd send them to you and feel just as nervous calling you late at night. You'd help guide him through the process of asking her out, then let him come over and be sad when he was rejected.

Every aspect of your friendship became about him, him, and him. His academics were doing well--he was a surprisingly smart man after all--but they took a toll on him mentally, as they do to all college students. The same happened to you as well, but never once did Kuroo ask about how you were doing, how you were feeling, how you were coping with the sudden changes to your life.

You kept in contact with Kenma, who you'd text once in a while to tell him about how much you hated his previous captain. And Kenma would listen to you cry over the phone about his foolish childhood friend that knew nothing about your growing feelings for him. He was the only person who kept you grounded, and understood that your feelings for Kuroo couldn't be so easily tossed aside as the rest of your friends claimed. He also was the one who encouraged you to end your friendship with Kuroo gently, knowing that he would have to deal with the aftermath of Kuroo's confusion.

"Can I fix it somehow?" Kuroo asked in a panic, and you laughed bitterly. You had asked him many times to fix things--his treatment of you as if he were your therapist being the main one. He’d apologize, yet things would always end up returning to how they were before, with you being at the bottom on his list of priorities.

"Not anymore," your voice cracked, and you cleared your throat to pretend like you weren't crying. "I think you'll be fine without me."

“Y/N--”

“Don’t call me from now on, please. Don’t come over, because I won’t answer the door,” you paused. “...you’re still going to be my friend. I just need space.”

A lie. You knew it, and Kenma did too when you rehearsed your lines to him. He told you such, but you couldn’t bear to tell Kuroo the truth.

And even as you hung up, deep down, you wished he would disobey your wishes. You wanted him to text you and come to his senses, realizing he was wrong. You wanted to relive late night calls where you would laugh and talk about absolutely nothing just because you couldn’t fall asleep. You wanted to go back to him showing up at your front door with a bucket of fried chicken to reward you for studying hard for your midterm exams. You wanted to lay next to him on a grassy field again, where he was gazing up at the stars and you were mesmerized by how beautiful your best friend was, inside and out.

But Kuroo never called. You no longer sent him good morning texts, asking how his day was, and he stopped asking for your advice. It was like the two of you were less than friends. You’d only speak when you sent him an occasional meme that reminded you of him, or a song you knew he would enjoy. He’d respond earnestly, as if your friendship of over four years wasn’t shattered during that one call months ago.

Kenma called you an idiot for not cutting him off entirely, and you would have to agree with him. You were an idiot who was head over heels for a man who would never share your feelings.

It took months for you to get over it, but the distance you put between the two of you definitely helped. So why was it, all of a sudden, after you were finally healing and moving on, that Kuroo decided to call you out of nowhere?

You stared at your buzzing phone, the image of a stupid face Kuroo made flashing on your screen.

Should you pick up? Should you pretend like you didn’t see his call? During your time contemplating, his photo faded away and your phone stopped vibrating angrily against your coffee table.

Your heart felt like it was going to beat through your chest when you saw the ‘one missed call’ notification flicker mockingly at you. You stared at your phone, breath hitching in your throat when suddenly, you received a new text from none other than Kuroo Tetsurou himself.

“Fuck,” you cursed, leaning your head back against the couch and groaning loudly. Should you call Kenma? You could already feel a headache incoming.

Why? Why did Kuroo always do this to you? He’s always had terrible timing, and apparently that never changed.

You plucked your phone from the table, braving it all and finally reading what he had to say to you.

“I’m sorry.”

“Are you fucking serious,” you grumbled, squeezing your eyes shut to chase away the anger building up inside of you. “Now? Now of all times? Does he even know what he’s sorry for?”

It wasn’t uncommon for Kuroo to apologize to you just because he knew you were upset. Still, you always forgave him solely because he was your best friend. But now, you knew better.

Fully ready to toss your phone aside, your eyes caught a new text from your ex-best friend.

“I’m really sorry, Y/N.”

Liar.

“I’m sorry for that one time I told you I’d help you study for your chemistry exam but ended up forgetting and missing all your texts and calls.”

You remembered that day. You had confided in him about your bad grade, and when he told you he could help you study, you were over the moon at the thought of being able to raise your nearly failing chemistry grade (and at the thought of spending more time with him). You called him multiple times when he didn’t show up, but gave up when he didn’t pick up the fifth time. You stayed up all night studying on your own, but still ended up failing that exam. You dropped the class, and ended up taking it next semester to get a much better grade without Kuroo’s help.

“I’m sorry for when you couldn’t tell me why you cried the entire day but still let me over so I could complain about Kira turning me down.”

That day, you were extremely overwhelmed. Your roommate was out somewhere, so you were left on your own to cry over the endless amount of assignments you had to deal with, on top of everything else. Kuroo had called that day, clearly in distress, and though you were in tears, you wiped them away and put on a weak smile when he showed up at your front door with a pained expression.

You wanted to be there for him. He was your best friend, after all.

“I’m sorry for that time that I left in the middle of our movie night because Ayane called me and wanted to go out to eat together.”

Your heart stung at the memory. The sight of his back getting up from your couch while completely ignoring the hurt in your eyes was still engraved into your memory, even if you spent months trying to forget it. You had called his name, but he was too busy eagerly chattering on the phone to even hear you. When he turned around, it was to bid you goodbye before abruptly leaving you with a half-eaten bag of popcorn and an animated movie still running that you no longer felt like finishing.

“I’m sorry for making you think you didn’t mean anything to me.”

Did you make an impact on his life? Deep down, you had hoped you did, so he’d always remember you.

“I’m sorry for taking advantage of your friendship.”

That, he definitely did.

“I’m sorry for being the worst friend ever. I miss you so much, Y/N.”

Why were you crying again? Your hands came up to wipe at your cheeks before hurriedly video calling Kenma’s phone.

When he picked up, the first thing he did was sigh at the sight of your disheveled appearance. If you weren’t completely in tears, you may have laughed at his attitude towards the situation, but all you could do was let out a weak whimper.

“I think he’s drunk,” he spoke without you needing to say anything. The thought of Kuroo only texting you because he was inebriated hurt you even more.

“He’s such an asshole,” you managed to croak out between your cries. Kenma only nodded, eyes clearly focused on the screen of his PC. Briefly, they turned to look at you again and his expression softened.

“You should’ve blocked him,” he mumbled, and a weak laugh left your lips. “Are you going to reply?”

You were quiet for a bit, before shaking your head.

And with that, Kenma hummed softly. He stayed on the phone with you until you finished crying over his childhood friend, and only hung up when you finally promised him you’d call him again the next day.

Tomorrow came quicker than you thought it would, and you managed to ignore Kuroo’s messages without giving into the temptation to text him back. Your life went back to normal, relatively, aside from one thing.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you for not understanding me when you gave me advice. I was childish, and only wanted to hear what I wanted to hear.”

Now, Kuroo was texting you everyday with something he was supposedly sorry for. And now, you were calling Kenma everyday to beg him to tell Kuroo to stop, to just leave you alone so you could move on. And every day, Kenma would tell you that you both knew how stubborn Kuroo could be when he put his mind to something.

“I’m sorry for not being there for you whenever you needed me even though you were always the first one to worry about me and how I was doing.”

At this point, it had been a few days since the initial text, and you wanted nothing more than to find him and yell at him to leave you alone. You were fine with brief interactions, pretending like your feelings for him never existed and he never regarded you as someone he could trust with his deepest feelings. You were fine with that.

“I’m sorry for being stupid and being able to understand everyone else’s feelings except for my best friend’s.”

But now he was pushing your boundaries. He was asking for more than what you could give him without giving him your entire heart again. You knew, and Kenma probably knew too, that if Kuroo kept doing this, you’d end up forgiving him. You’d give up on all the work it took over the past few months to get over him and go back to being his best friend if he asked you to. All that courage you put in to cut him off in the first place would disappear, and you’d be back to square one.

“I’m sorry for not realizing you liked me, and that I like you too.”

That was the last straw.

“You’re a prick.”

His response was almost immediate.

“Can I call you?”

Before you even had the chance to reply, your phone was buzzing in your hand and you nearly dropped it in your surprise. Without thinking, you picked up. And you cursed yourself for doing that.

“Y/N,” his familiar voice calling your name in that teary tone nearly made you cry again. Instead, you bit down on your lower lip to prevent the sadness crawling up your throat. You could hear the noises of cars passing by on the other line. He must’ve been outside

“Y/N, I missed you so much,” Kuroo’s voice was weak, and cracked a bit as he spoke, as if he too was holding back tears. “Thank you for picking up the phone.”

There was silence between the two of you for a bit before you shakily breathed in.

“Please stop texting me,” you finally managed to mumble. “Please stop thinking that you actually have feelings for me just because I was a comfortable person to fall back to when you didn’t have anyone else to go on dates with at the time.”

“That’s not the case--”

“If that’s not the case, then what is, Kuroo?” you interrupted, voice trembling. “I’ve had these feelings for you for so long, and now all of a sudden I’m gone and you like me too? Fuck off, I can’t believe you of all people would think so lightly of my feelings.”

“Listen,” his voice was pleading. “It’s not like that. Can I talk to you in person?”

“If I see you, I’m just going to cry again,” you laughed bitterly. You could hear shuffling on the other line.

“Then I’ll hold you until you stop crying,” he retorted firmly, and your heart jumped in your chest. How long had you waited to hear him speak like that about you? Like he just might share the same adoration for you that you did for him?

“You won’t even be able to find me,” you mumbled more to yourself than to him. It wasn’t like you were at your apartment, after all. You needed to get away.

“If you really think that,” you jumped at the sound of his voice closer than you thought. Looking up from your feet, your traitorous heart rate raced at the sight of those familiar almond eyes and unfixable bedhead. “Then I must’ve been a really bad friend, huh?”

You spent an excessive amount of time just staring up at him from your spot on the swings, eyes wide and lips slightly parted. He had bags under his eyes, and his bedhead was a little messier than it had previously been. Despite all that, the man in front of you was undoubtedly the best friend you’d caught feelings for.

“...how’d you find me?” you finally asked as he took a seat on the swing next to your own.

“I wanna say that I’m just a genius, but honestly, you never removed me from seeing your location.”

Your eyes adjusted to the brightness of his screen. When you spotted the familiar profile photo of your smiling face on the map, all you could do was sigh. Anxiously, you ran your sweaty palms along your pants to wipe them off.

“I’ve said it a dozen times at this point,” Kuroo tucked his phone back into his pants, “But I’m really sorry, Y/N.”

“Yeah, I get it,” you mumbled, exhausted of his apologies at this point.

“I don’t know what more I can say besides I’m sorry,” he admitted weakly. You couldn’t find the courage to lift your head to look at his probably desperate expression. “I’ll be honest. I wanted to respect your wishes at first. If you wanted distance, I’d give it to you. But the more time passed, the more I missed you.”

You fiddled with your fingers and the edge of your shirt, trying to find any distraction so you didn’t have to listen to his explanation.

“I missed you so much,” he murmured, “I thought I was an idiot, for treating you the way I did. I took advantage of how comfortable I was around you, and when you finally left me, I realized how lucky I was to have someone I could be so myself with.”

He turned to look at you, and you finally lifted your gaze to meet his eyes. Your heart ached. He looked so tired.

“Have you been eating?” You asked quietly.

“See?” He smiled bitterly. “You care so much about me, and all I do is take that kindness and give nothing back.”

You felt tears prick at your eyes again as he took your hand and placed it onto his cheek, the familiar warmth of his hand reminding you that you truly would never be able to get over him.

“I hate you,” you lied through the tears slipping down your cheeks, “so much for everything you’ve done. For making me fall for you.”

“I’ll spend as long as it takes making it up to you if you’ll let me,” his other hand reached up to brush your tears away. “As your friend, and as someone who finally realized his feelings for you too late. And if I’m lucky, I hope you’ll let me back into your life.”

“It won’t be the same,” you admitted honestly. Truthfully, your friendship would never be the same after all the hurt you endured because of him. Things that may have seemed so small to other people hurt you deeply, solely because you trusted him so much.

“I trusted you to be there and to understand me,” you told him, “and you ignored all that. You can’t expect that to be fixed so quickly.”

“I know,” he brushed your hair behind your ear. “So I’ll give my all to build a new relationship with you. One where I’ll be better, and won’t hurt you ever again.”

The two of you were silent as you cried. Through your tears, you could see his wet eyes. The sight brought a weak laugh to your lips.

“Kenma said you’re way too stubborn when you put your mind to something,” you smiled sadly. “This is your last chance, Kuroo. Don’t ruin it.”

#haikyuu #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu angst #hq #kuroo tetsuro #kuroo tetsurou x reader #kuroo tetsurou angst #kuroo tetsurou imagines #kuroo tetsurou scenarios #kuroo tetsurou #haikyuu!!

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seabass17 · 3 years

Text

All that’s left | Pt. 2

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem! Reader

A/n: So, this is... a different reader in comparison from the one in the first part but I kinda like it? Anyway, Im considering making a third part and im thinking it'll contain some smut. I used google translator so please don't judge me. Tell me what you think. Happy reading.

All that's left pt. 1

Warnings: angst, mentions of scars, swearing, implied smut?

Word count: 3.263

Summary: After moving from her life in New York, away from the Avengers and him, she finds happiness and a life that she actually enjoys, but that seems to last little when she spots the familiar jet on the roof of the building she lives in. Is she ready to face them? To face him?

*Three months later*

The warm air surrounding my body made me take a deep breath and unconsciously smile. I was happy, I was free, I was whole. I was with my neighbor drinking coffee in our usual spot, which was a cafe near the main street of the place that I decided was going to become my new home.

“Продолжай рассказывать мне о своем боссе, который сводит тебя с ума” (Keep on telling me about your boss who drives you crazy) Andrei said making me laugh and shake my head.

“Не о чем говорить, он просто засранец, который дает мне слишком много работы и заставляет меня плакать” (Nothing to talk about, he's just an asshole who gives me too much work and makes me want to cry) I laughed. I had met Andrei a week after I moved in and there was an immediate connection. No, it wasn’t in a romantic one, god no, we were just really good friends that had a lot in common.

“Now now, that was not what i saw the other day when i went to pick you up from work” He said with a playful smirk plastered on his light brown face. I gasped, a fake indignant expression on my face while my hand went to my chest. He laughed loudly. “Don’t play that card, I saw you!” he added

“I don’t know what you are talking about” I said, trying to fight the smile that tried to come out but failing miserably, we both laughed.

He and I had become quite close in the little time that we had known each other. He was an American with a Russian name. He explained that his mother was from the states while his father was a russian spy, they fell in love against all odds and eventually, Andrei was brought to this world. When he was fifteen his father died and he and his mom went to America, where he finished high school and surprisingly, entered the military. He did two tours before he decided that he had enough and returned to Russia. Hence why he could speak both Russian and English fluently. As for me, I told him that I was in some sort of organization that worked for the government, and that’s why I knew russian. He believed me, thank God, I didn’t want to talk about how I was part of the Avengers and why I left. Obviously I will tell him when the time is right and I know that he can be fully trusted.

“Oh, come on Ames, are you going to tell me that you don’t like him one bit? Not in the slightest?” he asked, smiling and I shook my head. He stayed silent for a second and stared at me, like he was considering whether he should ask me something or keep quiet. “Is it because of him?” he finally asked, watching me closely to see my reaction. I felt my stomach twist at the mention of him. Of course it was because of him, because of them, I couldn’t afford getting hurt and betrayed one more time. Andrei didn’t know his name, or theirs for that matter, so I smiled weakly and nodded.

“Yeah, I know it sounds stupid but… I just can’t afford getting hurt, not again, not anymore” I said looking at my hands.

“I understand, believe me I do” he said, his hand reaching out to hold mine. I looked up to find his brown eyes looking for mine, I saw nothing but genuine love -the friendly kind- in them. I smiled and squeezed his hand. He was going to say something but his phone rang; a notification. He withdrew his hand to look at his phone and the moment he did, people around us started getting up and running in the same direction. I looked at him confused to find him frowning at his phone.

“What is it?” i asked.

“The Avengers are here…” He said and my heart skipped a beat and my body went rigid. Andrei noticed. “What 's wrong?”. Well, there’s no use keeping him from the truth anymore.

“So, remember when I told you that I worked for an organization for the government? Okay don’t freak out and hate me but, here it goes” I took a deep breath. “That organization was called The Red Room were they trained me from a very young age to be a perfect cold-blooded killer, years later i escaped and was on the run until i got a new identification, name, address, new everything and then joined the avengers to amend the wrongs I made in the past. To my luck, it didn’t go great because it ended up breaking me the same way The Red Room did, so I left to find a fresh start and came here where I met you. Please don’t hate me” I concluded in one breath. Andrei was silent with a straight face, which was hard to read, and eventually after a few seconds that felt like an eternity and shrugged his shoulders. WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN.

“Believe it or not, I've heard worse” he simply said

“Worse than finding out that your best friend is a train killer and former avenger?” i asked incredulously and he tilted his head and smirked

“US Agent mother and Russian spy father” He said. I laughed and he followed right after. “So, I'm guessing we are running away?” he asked. Say what now?

“We?” I asked, almost in shock to which he simply nodded, “You don’t think im just gonna let you go like that, please, is not that easy to get rid of me” he snorted. “And I'm supposing Amelia is not your real name either, given the fact that you ran off,” he added. Damn, he is good.

“Y/n, y/n y/l/n” I said and he slowly smiled

“Well y/n, nice to meet you, my name is Andrei Petrova” he said, extending his hand, i repeated his action with the same smile. “I’ve got to say, I like the name y/n more than Amelia '' he added and laughed. We were brought back to the matter at hand when the screaming of the people were getting louder. I snapped my head up and saw the familiar jet on the roof of the building where I was living.

“Here’s what we are going to do, I’m going to my apartment and buy us some time while you go get a car and,” i handed him my card “you are going to get all the money from my bank account. I will meet you in front of the cafe that’s two blocks away from my place”

“Are you going to be okay?” He asked with clear worry in his eyes. I smiled and nodded

“Yes, I promised. Now go” I said before he got up and ran. I sighed and went to my apartment. Was I really going to do this? After months, was I ready to face them, already knowing the truth? Well, guess I'm going to find out.

Once in the building I decided to programmed the lights to go out in 50 minutes and then I went to the elevator, wanting to appear as normal as possible even though I felt like my heart was going to explode from how fast it was beating inside my rib cage. When the elevator stopped at my floor I walked until I was standing in front of my door. I didn’t need to wait and confirm, I knew they knew I was here, now there’s only one thing left to do. But before I did anything, the door creaked open.

*10 hours earlier*

Bucky paced from one side to the other, finding himself incapable of staying put. Natasha sat silently on her chair, Tony was in the front with his head in between his hands, Steve was resting on the side of the wall looking at the floor, Bruce was just standing there holding his chin analyzing everyone in the room. Sam sat on the couch looking through his phone, Vision was sitting next to Wanda on the other couch, while Clint and Thor were sitting on the other chairs. Peter had some school stuff to deal with like the teenager that he was. They’ve been looking for her for the past three months, and about a week ago, a picture was found of someone that looked exactly like her, all except her hair that was a bit shorter and the color was different, but other than that, it was practically her.

Not wanting to get their hopes -or rather enthusiasm- up, they decided to look deeper and found out that the picture was taken a month ago in the city of Magadan located in Russia. They found out that before three months, the name Amelia Agapov, didn’t exist. The more they looked into it, the more they were convinced that it was her.

“The mission report from Agent Carter arrived, should i put it on the screen?” the voice of the AI filled the room. The team had been waiting for that report for days, the nerves of the question that lingered in the air ‘was it her?’ being present for that time only grew stronger as Stark asked FRIDAY to project the report on the screen.

Pictures were shown, most of them were about this woman buying in the market, having coffee with a guy, but there was one, where her face was looking straight into the lens of the camera, and it was that picture that left the people in the room absolutely rigid. It was her.

“We found her…” Tony said in a whisper. Everybody kept their gaze on the picture on the big screen. After months looking for her, they finally had found her. To everyone, it was like someone just discovered something new, a kind of relief and anxiety all at the same time.

“Suit up, we’re going to get her” Steve said to the group, but see, it was the choice of words from Cap that Bucky found unsettling.

“Get her? Like she is some kind of criminal?” he said, looking at his best friend dead in the eye. Steve opened his mouth to say something but Tony beat him to it.

“She was trained by The Red Room to be an assassin, we can expect nothing more from her '' He said, trying to calm Bucky down, but instead it only caused him to get angrier, and not only him.

“So was I” Natasha said, her voice low that could scare anyone to the bone if they weren’t so used to her.

"It's different" Tony said

“How is it different?” Wanda said this time, “It wasn’t when you practically recluded me after I helped Ultron and tried to kill you all” she added.

Tony sighed and looked down, realizing that he might be overreacting.

“Let’s just get suit up and get on with it” Steve said, cutting the rather awkward silence that filled the room.

The avengers were suit up and on the quinjet in less that forty-five minutes, and they were in Madagan in nine hours, it took them an hour to find her building, and once they found it, Clint landed the jet on the roof and they all got out and looked for her apartment. Funny enough, it was the same number as the one she used to live in New York; 108. They waited for what seemed an eternity until they heard footsteps just outside the door. Suddenly, the air felt thick with anticipation, but Bucky couldn’t wait any longer so he crossed the living room in two steps and opened the door. She was standing there. Silence took over the entire apartment until she broke it.

“Well, are you going to move so that I can get inside my goddamn apartment Barnes?” she said expectantly. Bucky realized that he had been staring at her since he opened the door. Her hair was different, more wavy and a shade or two lighter. He moved to the side and she was able to see the rest of the team. This was going to be one hell of an evening.

Breathe. In… and out…

It was hard. Fuck. Okay i can do this.

“Well isn’t this nice. All the team back together again!” I said with sarcasm dripping from every letter.

“What the hell did we ever do to you?” Steve said firmly.

“Damn, getting straight into it. That’s okay” i shrugged as I went to my room but the sound of the blasters of Tony's suit stopped me.

“Stop, don’t take another step” He said, lifting his hands and I smiled.

“Really? Well unfortunately i have to change, so i’ll leave the door open if it makes you comfortable” i said as i continued to walk to my room, and like I said, i left the door open.

“Y-you don’t have to do that, you can…” Wanda said but trailed off. I had taken my shirt off; my scars were shown.

“So, Steve” I broke the silence as I put on a black shirt, “the thing that you did wasn’t as bad as tin man over there, but you still let Hydra take me the day we took out the helicaries” i added. His face got pale and started shaking his head.

“What? No, you made it out safe, you-” He started saying but i interrupted him

“You sure? Who do you think stopped Rumlow when he tried to interfere with the exchange of the chip when you were in the helicarrier with Bucky?” He started thinking for a moment until he realized what I said fell into place. “Yeah, I took one hell of a beating, and if that wasn’t enough, I fell to the water. I fell thirty floors down, and I alone got myself out, because I didn't have anyone to cover me or have my back” i concluded.

“Your scars…” Tony said this time and i turned to him

“Yeah, thanks to you Mr. Stark” i said and he looked at me. “Doctor said that 74% of my body is covered with scars, along with one or two burns”

“You were that girl in The Red Room” Natasha said, causing me to turn my head to look at her and I smiled cynically, “You are Eliza” she finished.

“Давно не виделись с Натальей” (Long time no see Natalia) i said and she looked at me in pure surprise in her faced. That’s something coming from the famous Black Widow.

“What about the rest of us y/n?” Sam said this time, redirecting my attention from Natasha to the rest of the group. Thor was standing there holding his hammer, Bruce was next to the fridge, Clint was by the sink, Wanda was with Vision beside the kitchen table and Bucky was by the door. They were all looking at me. I took a look at the clock, I have to leave in less than thirty minutes.

“Long story short, Clint, Bruce, Sam, Wanda and Vision are the ones that didn’t do anything, so just chill out, you are still on my good side” I smiled and waved my hand.

“Hold on, but what did I do?” Thor asked and I looked at him.

“God it really is unfair how such a little thing can cause such a big problem. The first time you came down to earth, met Jane, bla bla bla… when her stuff was under custody of shield, and you took that notebook; they blamed me. I know it may seem weird because, how? Thing is, I was undercover at that time inside Shield, so when the notebook disappeared, guess who was the one that got beaten for it. I couldn’t move from the pain.”

Thor was standing completely still.

“Lady y/n…”

“How is it possible? I was there and never saw you” Clint interrupted Thor.

“It was before the avengers, i was on the run and a girl's gotta eat. Don’t worry, I never gave them anything. Got the money and then killed them, they were nobodies” I shrugged off.

“So, that’s all you needed to know, so if you please leave my…” I said but then he interrupted me.

“No” I would be lying if I said it didn’t send shivers down my spine at his tone, and I hate even more that he noticed it. “You’re missing one doll” Well fuck me

I turned to see him and he was walking painfully slow towards me and I was praying for my legs to not give out.

“Barnes” I simply said, thanking God and all the saints that it didn’t come out as a whimper. I took a look at the clock once more. I have to leave. Now. “Such a shame, wish you had fought for us, I would have gone through hell and back for you, Buck” his eyes were looking straight to my own and I felt like he was staring at my bare soul. In a way, he was. I smiled and I saw behind my back that the team was looking at us, we’ve never been this close, not in public anyway. I standed on my tiptoes and reached for his right ear, he instinctively reached down so it was a bit easier for me.

“If you want to know, you’ll have to find me first дорогой” (Sweetheart) I whisper. Next thing, the light went out just like I programmed it to and I slid beside Bucky to reach out to the door and to the hall. I could hear the team screaming ‘what the hell just happened’. I ran to the emergency stairs, and once out I could still feel him behind me, getting close. I went into an alley, having to detour, knowing that he eventually was going to catch up to me and I couldn't have him follow where I was really going. A few seconds later, I felt him caging me to the wall on the alley, both of us breathing heavily. His flesh hand went to my throat and his metal one rested on the wall.

“Given a different occasion, I would have loved this, don’t get me wrong, I still love how you…”

“What the hell are you doing?” he asked huskily and I smiled.

“I told you, you’ll have to wait until you find me again. Alone.” i said

“Come on Barnes, do you really think that the charade of being your personal fuck toy would last forever?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“It wasn’t like that, i…” he said but trailed off. The pain in my chest starting and clenching my heart.

“There it is…” i said lowly, the hurt in my voice evident, “listen, i’d love to keep talking about how you used me, but like i said,” i got close to his face, my nose touching his, “find me to found out” after that, I raised my knee kicking him right in between his legs.

He let out a pained groan and fell to the floor, causing his grip in my neck to give out. I took advantage and ran. Two blocks away, I saw Andrei. When he saw me running to him, he immediately got in the car and turned the engine on, then I got in.

“Drive, fast” it was the first thing i said

“Where?” he asked while we took off. I smiled and looked at him

“You’ll see”

Taglist

@silentkiller2374 @vikingqueenlove @girlfriday007 @supraveng

#avengers #bucky x reader #steve x bucky #bucky barnes #bucky barnes angst #steve rogers #natasha romonova #tony stark #the red room #wanda maximoff #marvel #imagines #hydra

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semisgroupie · 3 years

Text

Third Time's The Charm

Club Member!Taichi x Fem. Reader

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: fingering (f!receiving), exhibitionism (Oikawa watches), condom usage (i know, crazy right?), praise, many many check ins, safe word mention, characters are college aged (both seniors in college so 21/22)

A/N: this is my submission for the @hqintheclub Haikyuu University Sex Club collab! Read the rest of the works here! I am so thankful for this network and to contribute to the collab, I hope this does a good job in conveying safe sex practices. Also a huge huge thank you to @meiansmistress for beta-reading!!! Yes the safe word is a little tribute to what Taichi does in the timeskip.

Once Shinsuke called the end of the meeting, Kawanishi stood up and made his way to the front of the room with his clipboard in hand.

“Alright my fellow club members, I’m just going to go over the statistics before the end of the month, who need to go for their STD tests and the notes I took from this meeting.” He adjusted his glasses and flipped through the papers. “Okay, so some recommendations from this meeting are, ‘buy scented toilet paper’ by Tooru. Yeah, not happening.”

A whine came from the back of the meeting room.

“Dude, why not? You know how girls have to pee after sex? They could have something that smells good while they do it!” Tooru’s eyes lit up offering his proposal, just like every other month, only to have it shut down again.

“Buy scented candles or something for your smelly bathroom.” Chuckles and snickers erupted in the room while Tooru sat back and pouted like a child. Kawanishi went through the rest of the recommendations and other areas of concern before moving onto the last topic.

“Okay, so for the fun part. Time to see who has had the most and least sex this month.” The room went dead silent as Kawanishi went over the log book. He did a onceover of the totals before looking at the group.

“So the lucky guy with the most amount of happy customers is… Osamu with eighteen.”

“Huh? ‘Samu? He isn’t even here! Not even a member.” Atsumu huffed and kept on ranting and raving about his brother until Kawanishi interrupted him.

“Actually, he’s an unofficial/official member who does not need to really attend meetings since we haven’t properly officiated his membership. But we definitely need to do that since he’s definitely bringing popularity to the club. Next is Mr. Chairperson Tooru and Mr. President Shinsuke both tying in with twelve happy ladies. Congratulations to the both of you. So, now the two least are—well you guys shouldn’t be surprised as these results have been consistent for a while now. But in good spirit, it’s me with two and Keiji with one.”

A shrug came from Keiji as the results were read. Kawanishi felt the same way, it got annoying every single time he had to read the results. They both knew they had to get laid but Kawanishi had his eye on a special someone.

The meeting was called to an end and Kawanishi made his way to his room to get ready for his chemistry lab. There was only one thing circling in his brain—he had to raise his number, but how? There was that one person he wanted but he wasn’t even sure if she even had plans to use the services the club provided, let alone choose him.

You were Kawanishi’s cute little lab partner. Always looking at him with bright doe eyes and always greeting him with a huge smile. You were too cute, too innocent to use the sex club. Kawanishi was sure of that. You probably even had a boyfriend so any hope he had for you was gone.

That was until he overheard you talking to your friends.

You were huffing and complaining about your sex life as you stood in front of the lab room—well, lack of sex in your life. You had a cute pout on your face as you rambled on, completely unaware of Kawanishi eavesdropping on such a private conversation.

“My toys aren’t even as enjoyable anymore! I just give up halfway through because it's the same thing over and over, I’m tired of it! And there’s absolutely no way I’m going to find a random guy on Tinder because he could be a creep or just horrible at sex.”

You sighed and started scrolling through your phone while your friend started thinking about what you said. Kawanishi recognized her, he knew her name started with a J and she was with Osamu last week. He remembered her moaning—well, screams—of Osamu’s name. As Kawanishi shook the thought from his head, “J” spoke.

“Remember that hook up I told you about last week?” She waited for you to nod before she continued speaking, “Well, there’s a website I met him off of. I’ll give it to you now and check it out. I think I saw a picture of your lab partner on the site. But check it out and let me know who you pick. Enjoy your class!”

You gave her a quick thanks before walking into the lab room, getting your goggles and supplies as Kawanishi soon followed. You made small conversation but every time you snuck a glance at him, you couldn’t see him as the type to be a part of the university’s sex club. Jay probably got him confused with someone else but for some reason you couldn’t wait until you got back to your apartment.

You just had to make sure. It was just curiosity. Well, that was what you kept telling yourself when you opened up your laptop and typed the web address in. You were met with the website, seeing the names of all the members and things that they specialized in. While you were scrolling through, your eyes widened and your heart dropped to your stomach.

Secretary: Taichi Kawanishi Specialty: Fingering

“Holy shit. It’s him.”

You read the name over and over again. Maybe it was just the lack of sleep finally getting to you or maybe it was because you unknowingly inhaled some drug that caused you to hallucinate and see his name. No matter how many times you refreshed the screen and rubbed your eyes, nothing changed. His name was still there and so was his specialty.

“Fingering? Well, he does have nice fingers. They are very long.”

You started thinking about his slim fingers, wondering how they would feel on your skin, grazing your most sensitive parts, but before you got too deep in thought you snapped yourself out of it. This was your lab partner! Not some pornstar or prostitute. Not some rando you met on a dating site. You would see him again if you decided to go through with it. How would that change how you two interacted with each other? Would it bring unnecessary tension?

You had this back and forth with yourself all night. You finally made your decision when you couldn’t get yourself off, the toy on your clit no longer bringing the same satisfaction it used to. With a huff you grabbed your laptop and went back to the website. Once the page loaded, you looked through all the guys and their specialties.

“Corsetry? What is that?”

You looked through the rest of the other specialties and you were equally intrigued and confused. You went back to Kawanishi and stared at his name. You didn’t want to ruin anything but you couldn’t stand this any longer—you needed a good fuck and you needed it badly.

“Fuck it.”

You scheduled an appointment with him, Saturday evening, a time where the site said he would be free. You put your laptop away and went to sleep.

The next morning Kawanishi woke up to frantic knocking on his door. He rolled out of bed and opened the door to be welcomed by Tooru.

“Dude, what the fuck? Did someone die?”

“No but check your phone, someone has been scheduled for tomorrow evening.”

Kawanishi rolled his eyes and checked his phone, the notification woke him up.

“Y/N scheduled me for tomorrow evening?”

“Don’t worry my friend. I will get you condoms. But aren’t you glad I sent you for STD testing on Monday? You can thank me later.”

The rest of the day went by normally, then Kawanishi remembered one of the main rules.

“New members and members who fuck the least need to fuck in front of an official club member.”

Kawanishi went to some of the other guys first, but Keiji and Koutarou both said they couldn’t. Shinsuke had to visit his grandmother and some of the other club members were occupied. That left only one person.

“Tooru, are you busy tomorrow evening?”

Tooru thought for a few seconds then shook his head. He furrowed his eyebrows in a silent question as to why he would be needed tomorrow evening.

“You forgot the rule, didn’t you?” Tooru kept a confused look and shrugged his shoulders.

Kawanishi pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed before continuing. Only if anyone else was free. He would take anyone at this moment over Tooru.

“People who fuck the least in the club need to fuck in front of an official member, and everyone one else is busy so I’m asking you.”

A smile grew on Tooru’s face as he got up and wrapped his arm around Kawanishi’s shoulder.

“Oh my friend, don’t make me seem like I’m the last choice—“

“—you are.”

“Ouch, anyways I’ll be glad to watch. Do you need any tips? All the girls have left with a smile on their face after a night with me. You know I would’ve never thought I’d say this but you should’ve gone to Seijoh or maybe I should’ve gone to Shiratorizawa… I would have gotten you laid all the time, or at least done a better job than stupid Ushiwaka, you wouldn’t have had this little dry spout you’re having now—hey!”

Kawanishi removed Tooru’s arm and walked out of his room.

“Thanks for doing it, I don’t need your help though. If you try coaching me, I don’t care what I’m doing, I will throw you out of the room myself.”

Kawanishi spent the rest of the night and most of the day Saturday organizing his room, making it neat and stuffing his mini fridge with drinks and snacks. When it was time for you to come over, he waited for you in front of the club house.

As he waited, his nerves were getting the best of him. He hadn’t felt this nervous since he lost his virginity. Before he could really start worrying, he saw you approaching, giving him a small wave before you could greet him with a hug.

“Hey, well first off, thank you for choosing me for this. I should explain that we will have someone watch us, so if that makes you uncomfortable I completely understand. It’s just a rule we have for the club and I can show you the rule book if you need me to once we get to my room.”

“It’s okay. If you don’t mind me asking, who will it be?”

Before Kawanishi could answer your question the man in question wrapped his arms around the both of you.

“Hello you two! I shouldn’t need to introduce myself but I’m Tooru and—oh! I recognize you, Y/N right? I think we had biology together last year. You saved my ass so many times with your notes. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure Kawanishi here treats you right—ow!”

Kawanishi pinched Tooru’s side and gave him a mean side eye.

“Tooru, remember what I told you yesterday.”

Tooru raised his hands in surrender at Kawanishi’s warning and you couldn’t help but laugh at the interaction. The sound of your laughter helped calm Kawanishi down a bit. He just had to get it through his mind that you were just a regular person with needs just like him, and he was going to help you satisfy those needs.

Light conversation was shared between the three of you as you all walked to his room. Once you crossed the threshold of his bedroom, Kawanishi took your hand as he led you to the bed and sat next to you. You rested your hand on top of his and offered him a shy smile, leaning in slowly.

“C-can I kiss you Kawanishi?”

He cupped your cheek and closed the distance between the both of you. Your lips felt so soft against his and he couldn’t stop himself from deepening the kiss. His hand moved to squeeze the fat of your thigh that was exposed by the skirt you were wearing. He broke away from the kiss to sit against his headboard, patting his thighs.

“Come on, come sit on my lap, pretty girl and we can get started. If you feel uncomfortable, your safe word is mojito. Once you say it, I will stop whatever I’m doing and we can just cuddle or do whatever you want, okay?”

You settled yourself on his lap with a meek “yes” before leaning back in to kiss him. Tooru was sitting on the spare chair in the room, scrolling on his phone. It was adorable to see you get so shy. You were always so confident and so outspoken, but once Kawanishi got you inside his room you crawled into a little shell.

He pulled you down to kiss you this time as his hands wandered over your body. His hands moved over your clothed breasts, squeezing them softly, making whimpers leave your lips. He moved his hands lower to your ass, squishing the flesh, and when you bucked your hips into his he gave it a light smack, swallowing the moan that left you. He pulled away to look at you.

“Can I touch you some more? I just want you to feel really good for me.”

“P-please touch me, w-want more.”

He smirked at your stuttering—it made this even more enjoyable. He leaned in and trailed kisses from your lips to your jaw and neck, your hips bucking more. You were so sensitive he couldn’t wait to see how you would react to his fingers. His hand trailed up your thigh and his thumb grazed against your panties. You bit down on your lip, trying to hide your moans.

It was embarrassing to you how quickly you were falling apart; he hadn’t even touched your skin for more than a few seconds and you already felt like once his fingers touched your bare pussy, you would cum.

Kawanishi licked your neck as he slid your panties to the side.

“Are you ready? I’ll go nice and slow for you.” He spoke into the skin of your neck as his fingers rubbed your slick folds.

“Yes, please.”

Your head dropped to his shoulder once he slid his middle finger inside you, moving slowly. He hissed at the way your cunt swallowed his finger, thinking about how it would feel once his cock was buried inside you. He sped up his thrusts, your muffled moans and whimpers encouraging his actions further. He slipped another finger in, leaning back to see your expressions as you quickly lifted your head from his shoulder.

Your jaw went slack as moans kept falling from your mouth, your hips bucking into his hand as you got lost in the pleasure, chasing your orgasm. His fingers were so long and hit so deep. They felt so good, better than any toy you had used in the past month or so. You were embarrassingly close to your orgasm after only a short time.

“Ka-Kawanishi, ‘m close!”

“I know, just cum for me, okay? Cum all over my fingers, let me know how good I’m making you feel.”

He thrusted his fingers faster, using his thumb to rub your clit. He rubbed your back with his free hand while watching all your expressions. Your hands made their way to his shirt, balling the fabric in your fists as you came undone on his fingers with a moan of his name. He slowed his fingers down to help you relax, making sure he wasn’t overstimulating you.

“You did such a good job for me. You look so beautiful when you cum. So good for me. Are you okay?”

“Yes I’m fine,” you reply breathlessly.

“We can stop here. All I care about is you cumming. I could continue fingering you until my fingers turn pruney if you want or I could get you some snacks and water and just talk.”

You shook your head; you couldn’t leave him hard. You wanted to fuck him, and the snacks and drinks could always come later.

“I-I want to fuck you. I want you to feel good too.”

“Don’t worry about me, this is all about you and your pleasure. I’m here for you, okay?”

You nodded as he reached over for a condom on his nightstand. You lifted yourself off his lap slightly to remove your panties and skirt as he pulled off his sweatpants and boxers, revealing how hard he was.

“Okay, so how do you want to do this? I want you to be comfortable and enjoy yourself.”

“I want to ride you.”

You sat yourself on his thigh as he opened the foil package and rolled the condom onto his cock, pinching the tip of it. Once it was on, he placed his hands on your hips to help you guide you down on his cock. His grip tightened, feeling your warmth envelop his cock and fighting the urge to just thrust up into you. He moved you down slowly until you bottomed out.

“You did amazing, now take your time. I’ll help guide your hips so you don’t go too fast.”

You placed your hands on his shoulders as you slowly bounced yourself on his cock, the tip brushing against your g-spot over and over again. Praises kept falling from Kawanishi’s lips as moans kept coming out from yours. Tooru couldn’t help but start palming himself over his sweatpants at the sight of you and Kawanishi, your sweet moans and cries filling the room. Your hands went under your shirt, freeing your breasts from the confines of your bra. You played with and teased your nipples, adding extra stimulation to the pleasure you were already feeling.

The closer you got to your orgasm, the more your legs shook, making him take more control. He bounced you up and down on his cock, thrusting his hips up to meet yours. You felt so good around him and the sight of you playing with your nipples turned him on even more. If he thought you looked beautiful when you were fucking yourself on his fingers, you looked like a goddess now. Your pussy clenched his cock tighter and tighter with each thrust, signalling to him that your orgasm was approaching.

“Cum for me Y/N, cum for me. I know you’re close, I feel you clenching me so tightly. Come on and cum for me.”

Once the soft commands were spoken, you came around his cock, your eyes clenched shut as your jaw went slack letting out a silent moan. As you were riding out your orgasm Kawanishi couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. Small beads of sweat rolled down your neck and you finally opened your eyes to make eye contact with him. You leaned down and connected your lips with his once more.

Kawanishi kept thrusting until he filled up the condom with his cum. Once he felt you relax around him, he lifted you up slowly and laid you down on the bed, covering you with a blanket. He pulled the condom off, tying a knot and throwing it out in the trash can in his room. He nodded at Tooru, giving him the signal to leave, and so he did with a wink and a wave.

Kawanishi reached out for your hand and helped you get up as he walked you to the bathroom.

“I just need you to go to the bathroom and then we could watch something.”

You did your business and left the bathroom with a small smile on your face.

“Is there any way we could have this happen again? I don’t know if you guys can have regulars or if it's against the rules.”

Kawanishi chuckled and walked you back to his bed.

“We have no rules about regulars and I’d love to do this with you again.”

He kissed you on the forehead and handed you a water bottle to drink from before laying down next to you.

As he laid down next to you, talking about a random topic you brought up, he finally understood when people said the third time's the charm. He couldn’t have asked for a better person to raise his total to three.

#taichi kawanishi smut #hq taichi smut #hq smut #haikyuu smut #tw exhibitionism #sex ed collab #hqintheclub

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dirtykpopsnaps · 3 years

Text

He’s Mine — Lucas Wong smut

Warnings: This fic contains 18+ material. Anyone under 18 seen interacting with this fic will be blocked!!

Contains: Jealous Y/N. (Kind of) playing under the table. Exhibitionism. Unprotected fucking (he pulls out, but wrap it up). I think that’s it.

Requested: yes

Words: 2, 473

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“Hmm,” I hum lightly, turning in a circle and watching myself in the mirror. The teal mini sundress twirls with me, swaying softly. My hair falls in light waves over my shoulders and I just shrug my shoulders lightly. It’s definitely not my normal style of a t-shirt and jeans, but it’s cute. Plus, Lucas told me to dress up a little bit. We’re going out to a restaurant with the boys tonight to celebrate a successful comeback.

On the bed, my phone buzzes and I walk over to pick it up. Lucas’s contact is flashing across the screen with a text notification.

From Lukey❤️: Coming to pick you up in a second. The car will be out by the curb

I nod my head lightly to myself and grab things like my phone and wallet. At the last minute, I pull on my silver sandals and wait patiently for the text. However, instead of another message, I hear a knock at my door a few moments later. I stand up and walk to my apartment’s living room, opening the door.

Standing in the doorway, dressed in a nice shirt and pants, is my beautiful boyfriend. He stares at me for a few seconds, his jaw hanging open slightly. I feel my cheeks heat up a little bit and I giggle, brushing some hair behind my ear. Finally, he snaps out of it and blinks rapidly. “Wow, you look gorgeous,” he comments, a smile gracing his features.

“You look pretty good yourself, Lucas,” I giggle, trailing my eyes over his body. He chuckles lightly, holding his hand out to me.

“Come on, baby, the boys are waiting,” he reminds me. I nod my head and take his hand, walking down to the curb with him.

Down on the street, one of the company cars is waiting. Although the windows are tinted, I know that the members of WayV are inside. Lucas pulls open the door and I step inside, finding an empty seat. Lucas sits down right next to me, leaving me seated between Lucas and Ten. The boys immediately start greeting me happily and a bright smile spreads across my face. Honestly, I love being around Lucas’s members. I get along really well with them and I know they’re important in Lucas’s life, so I wanna do my best to be friendly.

The drive to the restaurant is fairly short. Even in the short time that we’re in the car, conversation starts easily. I haven’t seen the members in a little while, so they ask me all about school and how things are going. “Well, it’s college. I’m just doing my best to get through my classes,” I explain. I ask them about how they feel about the comeback and they all start talking excitedly. It’s very clear that they’re all proud of the comeback. I know they’ve all worked very hard to make it as good as possible. They’ve been working late and barely taking breaks at all to get everything down perfect. Lucas likes to tell me about their practices and how things are going, so I’m usually pretty well informed.

When we reach the restaurant, Lucas opens up the door and everyone starts climbing out. When everyone is out of the van, the door is closed and the driver drives off. We all walk into the restaurant and talk to the hostess about our reservation. As soon as the hostess looks at the reservation list, she leads us back to a room away from the main seating area. I take Lucas’s hand in mine, squeezing it lightly as we’re lead to the room. Lucas chuckles lightly, pulling me into his side.

The hostess leads us back to a hidden seating room and opens the door, ushering us inside. The room is a decent sized room. It holds about 5 tables with enough space to walk between the tables. I figure that it’s probably a room meant to seat celebrities so that they’re not mobbed while at dinner. At this point, I’m used to seating like this. Lucas and I have been together for about a year and a half, so I’ve been seated in celebrity seating with them before.

Calmly, everyone finds a table and we all sit down. Chatter starts up between the members and I hum softly, leaning my head against Lucas’s shoulder. We don’t have to wait long before a waitress comes back to serve us. Her eyes are bright and shiny as she looks around at everyone, asking what they want to drink. When her eyes fall to Lucas, a smirk falls on her lips. “And what can I get for you, cutie?” She asks, giggling sweetly. Lucas raises his eyebrows in surprise, but quickly orders his drink. Finally, her eyes fall on me and her smile falters. “And you, darling?” She asks, her sweet voicing hiding the venom behind it.

“Just water,” I say softly, brushing some hair behind my ear. She nods her head and turns on her heel, walking out of the room.

As soon as she’s out of earshot, everyone’s eyes fall to us. “Well, that was...interesting,” Ten says, still staring at the door that she left through.

“Should we tell her they’re together?”

WinWin asks, biting his lip.

“Oh...she knows,” I say softly, feeling my blood start to boil. The table falls quiet, but Hendery slowly starts talking again and the conversation comes back.

For a while, I just stay quiet. I should be used to people flirting with Lucas, but...I’m not. People rarely flirt with him in front of me. Just thinking back to the encounter, my blood starts heating up again. How could she do that? Who does she think she is? Steadying my breathing, I rest my hand lightly on Lucas’s thigh. He gives me a confused look, but brushes it off and goes back to talking to Xiaojun. I huff in annoyance, not liking being ignored. Especially not when our waitress just flirted with him right in front of me.

Slowly, I move my hand further and further up his thigh. Every few seconds, I stop to rub little circles on the inside of his thigh. Lucas isn’t reacting to my actions other than throwing me warning glances here and there. After what seems like forever, I feel his bulge underneath my hand. Smirking to myself, I rub my hand up and down his length. Lucas keeps up his conversation with Xiaojun, but he keeps shifting in his seat. Xiaojun gives him an odd look, raising an eyebrow. “You okay, Lucas?” He asks. Lucas just nods his head calmly.

“Yeah, sorry. My leg just feel asleep,” he lies. Xiaojun nods his head softly, but he gets pulled into another conversation.

Quickly, Lucas’s eyes flit over to me. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” He whispers at me in shock.

“I think I’m making my boyfriend feel good,” I whisper back, punctuating the sentence by squeezing his cock through his jeans. Lucas groans lowly, just loud enough for me to hear.

“Fuck, you drive me crazy,” he mutters breathlessly.

“You know you love it,” I giggle, leaning over to nip at the shell of his ear.

Behind us, I feel someone flick my head. I jump in surprise, looking behind me to see who just flicked me. Hendery is frowning at us, his hand raised to do the action again. “None of that at the table,” he scolds. Lucas laughs loudly, flipping Hendery off.

“Fuck off, dude,” he laughs. Sitting back down in my seat, I squeeze Lucas’s cock again. He bites his lip lightly, his eyes falling shut.

“I said stop it!” Hendery shouts.

“I did nothing,” I smile mischievously. Hendery just narrows his eyes at me.

Thankfully, the conversation is halted when the waitress returns. She places all of our drinks on the table, making sure to wink suggestively at Lucas when she gives him his drink. He flashes her an awkward smile, looking down at the table. When my drink is set down on the table, we make eye contact. She’s glaring down at me and I just smirk back at her, ticking an eyebrow challengingly. She huffs in annoyance, taking the drink tray and leaving the room again.

Once she’s gone again, I wrap my arms around Lucas’s shoulder. Calmly, I lean into his ear. “Come with me right now. I need a quickie,” I mutter softly. I pull back, standing up from the table and walking towards the door. Seconds later, Lucas leaves the table. “Where are you two going?” Kun asks in surprise. I don’t answer, walking through the door. Lucas also doesn’t verbally respond, but he must give some sort of signal to Kun because just as I leave, I hear Kun exclaim “Just be careful. We don’t want any surprises!”

Calmly, I take Lucas’s hand in mine and lead him down the long hall. I had seen the bathrooms just at the top of the hall when we came in. Making sure that no one is watching us, I let Lucas slip into the bathroom before me. I wait a few seconds before I enter after him and close the door as quietly as possible.

As soon as the door closes, I feel Lucas’s hand on my arm. I’m spun around and immediately feel his lips against mine, pushing me into the sink. “God, you don’t know how hard it is to resist you when we’re in public,” he mutters against my lips. I hum lightly, weaving my fingers into his thick, brown hair.

“Then why resist?” I ask, tugging lightly at his hair.

“Because I have an image,” he reminds me. I smirk at him, starting to press kisses across his neck.

“And yet we’re fucking in a restaurant bathroom where anyone could catch us,” I chuckle. I nip lightly at his neck and he hisses, leaning his head back.

For a few seconds, I litter kisses across his neck. Lucas picks up his head again, tugging at his shirt. “Take off your clothes. We can’t be long,” he reminds me, pulling his shirt off and letting it hit the ground.

“Well...since we need to be so quick, why don’t I just...” I trail off, pulling my panties off under my sundress. Lucas chuckles, tugging his pants and underwear down. Lucas takes my underwear and sets them on top of his shirt.

Standing up again, he lines himself at my entrance. “Ready, baby?” He asks. I nod my head quickly, wrapping my arms around his neck. Slowly, Lucas pushes his cock into me. I groan softly, taking low breaths and relaxing my body. Even with prepping, it can be hard to take his cock sometimes. Without prepping, it’s so much harder, but I’m already so horny for him. I tug lightly at the hair at the nape of his neck, leaning my head back against the bathroom mirror. Lucas groans, stopping every few seconds to let me adjust a little more. His teeth are digging into his bottom lip and I’m honestly worried that he might draw blood.

When he’s completely inside me, we just hold each other. Lucas’s hand is pressed against the bathroom wall, holding himself up. His eyes are shut tight and I smile to myself, looking up at him. “Baby, move,” I mutter softly, scratching lightly at his neck. A shiver wracks through his body and he nods his head, pulling out and snapping his hips back in. Slowly, he starts to get a rhythm behind the roll of his hips and I hum lightly, holding tightly to him. I can feel myself slipping up the mirror a little bit with each thrust.

Reaching my hand down, I start to draw quick circles over my clit. I know that we can’t be in here for too long or we risk being caught. I can feel small puffs of warm air as Lucas pants against my skin with the exertion. I pull my free hand out of his hair and rake my nails down his back, leaving behind raised red lines. Lucas hisses through his teeth at the feeling, but he doesn’t falter. His thrusts are quick and precise. With his thrusts and the added stimulation on my clit, I feel myself quickly reaching the edge. “L-Luke,” I mutter softly, leaning up against his chest.

“I know, baby. Come when you need to,” he pants, snapping his hips against mine again. I feel myself slip up the mirror again and my mouth falls open in a gasp.

When I feel like I can’t hold on anymore, I let myself fall over the edge. I involuntarily clench around Lucas and he groans, dropping his head onto my shoulder. He thrusts a few more times before pulling out and pumping his cock over my stomach. Soon enough, his cum is spilling over his hand and onto my stomach. For a few seconds, we both come down from our highs and catch our breaths. Lucas has a sweet, dopey smile on his face and I giggle lightly.

Leaning over, he pulls out some paper towels and wipes away his cum. The towels go into the trashcan as soon as he’s done cleaning up. Quickly, we both pick up our clothes again and start pulling them on. I make sure that my dress is on correctly and catch to make sure none of his clothes are on inside-out or backwards. Once I’m sure that everything is good, I pull him in for a sweet kiss. He smiles against my lips, his hands falling to my hips.

When we pull away, I smile up at him. “Now...I think we’re wanted back at dinner,” I giggle. He leans his chin against my head, laughing lightly.

“I don’t even wanna see Kun after that comment he made,” he laughs. I roll my eyes, laughing lightly, and pull on his hand.

“Come on,” I whine, tugging at his hand. Lucas sighs lightly and we push open the door of the bathroom. He peeks his head out before nodding and we both head back towards the hidden room.

When we get to the room, Lucas holds the door open for me and I step inside. Instantly, all the boy turn to look at us. Kun chuckles at me, shaking his head. “If it makes you feel better, she got really annoyed when she came back and you were both gone,” he tells me. I giggle lightly, a huge smile on my face.

“Gotta show her that he’s mine,” I comment.

Kun scrunches up his nose at me.

“You know...you could’ve just kissed him in front of her,” he points out. I nod my head at him.

“Yeah, I could’ve...but that’s no fun,” I laugh.

“I...never mind. I don’t wanna know,” he sighs.

#dirty kpop snaps #kpop fanfic #kpop smut #lucas wong #lucas wong smut #wong yukhei #wong yukhei smut #nct lucas #nct lucas smut #lucas wayv #lucas wayv smut #jealous #exhibtionist #unprotected sex #nct #nct smut #wayv #wayv smut

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