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itsstrawberrymochi · 3 years

Note

Hi, I love your content so I wanted to request something! Could you do headcanons with the hashira’s x gender neutral reader(- muchiro ofc) where they find out that the reader self-harms? If this makes you uncomfortable at all please delete it!

Kny pillars reacting to their s/o who self-harms

Awww thank you anonymous that means a lot to me hope you enjoy this also thx for reading my request rules when you said minus Muichiro ^^

Characters: all pillars expect Muichiro

Warnings: Mentions of self-harm and suicide

Note: if you or anyone you know is doing this activity please seek help with people you trust , it may seem that self harm is the best distraction but it’s really not, it’s only a temporary relief and you don’t deserve to always go through that pain ❤️

Giyuu

🌊- Now it took him a while to notice this

🌊- Don’t get him wrong, Giyuu loves you and all but he just assumed the injuries were from a demon after all that’s what you told him you had to no reason to lie right?

🌊- When he found out the truth he got extremely sad, he also got mad at himself for taking so long to notice

🌊- When he finds out he wouldn’t dare shout at you or make a scene out of it, instead he’ll calmly approach you and ask what’s the matter

🌊-If you don’t tell him right away he won’t pressure you to do so instead he’ll wait until you’re ready to talk

🌊- He’ll just sit next to you calmly in silence for hours and hours until you’re finally ready tell him

🌊- When you tell him the reason he would start to try and find a solution for the problem so you can feel better

🌊- He would also pull you in a soft hug and just let you cry on him while listening to you tell him what’s wrong

🌊- Giyuu would alway try his absolute best to make you feel better and he’s very serious about the cutting/harming and does everything in his power to try and make you stop

🌊- He’s extremely afraid that one day you’ll go beyond self-harming and he doesn’t want to lose you

Rengoku

🔥- A literal angel that was sent from heaven

🔥- Rengoku would immediately notice that you self-harm, he is extremely observant when it comes to you so he’d be quick to realize

🔥- Like Giyuu he wouldn’t pressure you to tell him what’s the matter but he’ll wait until you’re ready to say

🔥- Rengoku would make sure you know that it’s not you vs the problem but rather you and him vs the problem

🔥- He’ll make sure you know he’s there for you and whatever problem there is you don’t have to go through it alone

🔥-He also isn’t the type to give you words such as “ it’s ok this problem will pass” or “you’ll get over ”, but rather say “ Don’t worry my little flame we will find a solution to the problem no matter what”

🔥- If you’re feeling helpless or upset and feel like self-harming again he’ll drop everything he’s doing to talk to you and try and calm you down

🔥- Rengoku would allow you to talk to him whenever. He would never tell you to go away or say he’s too busy. He’d also let you talk to him for hours it doesn’t matter to him just as long as you feel better

🔥- There are often occasions where you would be laying on his lap and he’ll gently rub your back as you cry and rant to him

Shinobu

🦋- She’ll notice right away, she’s a medic so she can tell the difference between real injuries and self- inflicted ones

🦋- She would become heartbroken to know you were so sad you felt the only way to feel better was pain

🦋- She would make all the butterfly girls leave and go to another room so she can talk to you in private when she found out

🦋- Even though some scars are already healed she would kiss every single one of them

🦋- She does it because she wants to ‘kiss it better’

🦋- She would place bandages and medicine all over the new cuts so they can heal properly

🦋- She is very patient with you, she understands that you won’t stop your self-harm just like that so she’ll take her time talking to you and helping you get over it

🦋- She would alway check up on you and whenever she does she always has some tea or your favorite food ready to talk and listen to you

🦋- She always encourages you to tell her you’re true feelings and never makes you feel emotional or dramatic for it

🦋- If she knows she’s going on a really long mission and won’t see you for while she’ll ask Kanao or one of the butterfly girls to check up on you but if you don’t want them to know about it she would keep it private and she’ll just constantly send you letters instead

Mitsuri

💖- When she found out she talked to you as soon as she could

💖- She found out during a pillar meeting when your sleeve accidentally lifted up showing all the unnatural scars

💖- She had waited after the pillar meeting, when you two were in private to talk about it. She knew you clearly didn’t want anyone to know so she was sure no one was around

💖- When she asked you about it she couldn’t help but break down crying, Mitsuri would blame her self for your self-harming and feel like she did something wrong to you but you’ll explain to her that it wasn’t her fault but she’ll still cry because you were hurting all this time and she didn’t know.

💖- Her number one method of helping you heal is showing you lots and lots of love and care and showing you she is there for you

💖- So that basically means more sweets, more tea parties, hugs and kisses,more l love you, her complementing you all the time etc

💖- She had also bought you a bunny, so if she ever went on long missions you’ll always have “ someone” to talk to.

Sanemi

☁️- At first he would be kind of angry. Angry at himself for not noticing and angry at you for not telling him

☁️- Genya was the one who had told him , Genya being your worried younger brother in law couldn’t stand by and watch you do this to yourself

☁️- Sanemi’s first thought was to yell at you for doing it but then he thought you’d probably be afraid to talk to him about it if he did

☁️- He’ll burst in your room and yell “Y/N I KNOW YOU INTENTIONALLY HURT YOUR SELF”

☁️- You expecting him to yell about it prepared for more but when he reached you he just shoved your face into his chest and pulled you in for a soft hug

☁️- He’ll then say he was sorry you had to go through all this pain alone and sorry that he wasn’t there for you

☁️- He’ll allow you to cry on his shoulder for as long as you’d like

☁️- He wouldn’t care that you’re messing up his slayer uniform nor how long you’re crying for

☁️- While you’re crying he’ll reassure he is now and will forever be there for you and he’ll also reassure you and you can tell him anything

☁️- This wasn’t the only time he allowed you to cry on his shoulder,after the one time you cried he wouldn’t easily dismiss the matter but instead constantly bring it up to make sure you’re getting better

Obanai

🐍- He’s a very observation person especially when it comes to you so he’ll notice your self-harming rather quickly

🐍- He was very patient with you, so the first time he asked and you didn’t tell him he waited until you were ready, like Giyuu he didn’t force you to talk about it.

🐍- When you two did talk about it he never judged you or made you feel bad for doing it, he never called your self harming ‘ attention seeking’ or called you dramatic for doing it

🐍- instead he’ll empathize with you and try to understand why you’re doing it

🐍-Obanai is definitely not one to show physical affection, he rather shows he loves you through words of affirmation BUT If you ever need him to hold you or hug you he’d be more than glad to do it

🐍- He’ll alway hold on onto you and assure you he’ll try and help you solve the problem

🐍- You’ll also have Kaburamaru to be your support snake he’ll alway wraps hisself around you or rub his head on your check to try and make you feel better

🐍- Obanai always try his best to make you feel better and he will near you every second of the day he’s right next to you to because he wants to be a constant reminder that you’re not alone

Uzui

🔊- It was own of the wives that told him about it

🔊- Uzui would immediately blame himself he would think you were probably upset that he was giving one of his wives e attention than you

🔊- He’ll then immediately go to you and apologies for it but then you’ll explain to him that’s not the reason. He’ll then feel relieved but immediately worry knowing there’s something making his love sad

🔊- He is the type to not assume what would make you feel better but would ask you how he could help. He’d ask if you want to talk about it with him, if you wanna talk to someone else maybe one of the wives, if you wanna be left alone, if you want a support animal ( yes willing to get you a cat/dog/lizard etc to make you feel better 😌)

🔊- He would kindly ask for you to give him the weapons you use for self-harm, he refuses to do it by force because that’ll make matters worst, if you don’t give it to him the time he’ll constantly ask for always in a soft and calm voice

🔊- If you’re a slayer he’ll even go as far and take away your sword he’d only give it back if he’s sure someone else is going on a mission with you and they can watch you or if he’s going

🔊- He would also get all of his wives to separately talk to you and try to make you feel better

🔊- Uzui allows you to cry on his shoulder if you ever need it and he’ll gently pat your head or rub your back

Gyomei

🪨-He would cry as soon as he found out

🪨-Like Shinobu he would be extremely heartbroken and his heat would weep for you

🪨- He absolutely hates the fact that you hurt yourself and would always cry thinking about it or if he hears you did it again

🪨- If the reason you are cutting yourself is because you don’t feel like you are good enough he would remind you of all your good qualities and there are lot

🪨- He’ll also wrap his arms around you and cuddle you as you cry because he knows how much you love it

🪨- Gyomei, if you allow it likes to gently rub all your self-injury scars because he believes you deserve comfort for going through all that pain

🪨-He wound often call them battle scars he does it because he believes that you did in fact went through a battle with many problems and you won

🪨- He is very gentle and patient when it comes to your self-harming , when he speaks to you about it and gives you advice it’s always in a soft and calming voice and whenever you rant or cry about how you feel he’ll patiently wait there for hours and let you speak, he’ll only speak when he knows that you are done, he wouldn’t dare interrupt you

This was my first time writing Uzui and Gyomei hope I did good, also this was my longest ever request so I wouldn’t be surprised if it has grammar errors sorry for that 😭

#anime #kny x reader #kny headcanons #sanemi x reader #giyuu x reader #shinobu x reader #mitsuri x reader #uzui x reader #gyomei x reader #rengoku x reader #obanai x reader

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ramblingthoughtsofayoungadult · 4 years

Text

Nev, Max, Help!-Nate Jacobs Oneshot

Requested: Yes

Warnings: aggressiveness and rudeness from Nate and a brief panic attack scene

A/N: The reader is gender neutral since the requester did not specify what they wanted and I did not want to disrespect the storyline from the show. Also, it’s a long one.

For once, Amy Winehouse’s low, melancholy voice did nothing to soothe my nerves as I typed what I was looking for in the designated box. “Love is a Losing Game” was definitely not the best song for the mood but I loved her voice so much; it was like a really messed up security blanket for me. My thumbs shook as I kept typing and quickly deleting my words.

Someone to have fun with.

No, that’ll bring every single creep to my profile.

Someone to watch Netflix with.

Ew, no, they won’t want to go anywhere or do anything.

Someone to discuss Maya Angelou with...

This could go one of two ways: attract a sensitive, nice person or the ultimate softboi who was really just an f-boy in a sensible cardigan.

Okay, Y/N, just add to it.

...and have adventures, great conversations, and watch the best movies.

That seemed broad enough and, potentially, weeded out all the weirdos. Patti Stanger would approve of this. I took such a deep breath that I could feel the oxygen in my feet as I pressed the green check mark. An adorable buffering sign appeared before being quickly replaced by a CONGRATULATIONS, Y/N/N, ON COMPLETING YOUR PROFILE.

The air came out of me slowly, like a balloon, and I tried to make myself relax as I swiped through different matches. One person was too short, the other too tall, another had way too many pictures with reptiles in his profile, and one’s bio simply read: DM and you’ll find out.

Serial killer much?

“That’s part of your problem, Y/N,” Jules had chastised me a few day prior.

“What do you mean by ‘part’?” I’d replied.

“Well, for one, you barely leave the house anymore unless I drag you out,” Jules argued.

“I’m busy,” I’d defended.

“Rewatching Breaking Bad for the eighth time does not count as being busy. Plus, you’re so picky.”

“Am not!”

“You said you’d only do DiCaprio in his Great Gatsby days,” Rue had added.

“Did you see him in that suit?”

Jules then shrugged. “All I’m saying is if you aren’t careful, you will end up all alone.”

“That’s not true, Y/N might get cats.”

That conversation had haunted me since and had driven me to making a dating profile after the required Saturday night family dinner. While my parents and brother were downstairs watching a movie, I was holed up in my room, cringing and regretting accepting any chat requests.

Half an hour on the app caused the images of various male genitalia to be burned into my mind. I would need my brain soaked in holy water for it to be erased. I huffed and kept scrolling, vainly hoping and wishing for a decent guy to pop up on my radar.

Maybe Jules and Rue were wrong. Maybe I had all the right in the world to be picky, I thought harshly to myself.

I dropped my phone on my nightstand and flopped against my pillows as Me and Mr. Jones began playing. I sighed and felt myself being lulled into the comforting abyss Amy created.

Ding!

I jumped out and glared at the source of the noise. Another chat request, another picture to ruin my young brain?

“Be positive, Y/N, this might be good,” I stated as I grabbed the phone.

Tyler wants to chat!

I frowned and opened up the app, only to be met with the most sculpted six-pack I had ever seen. My heart began banging against my chest and my thumbs fumbled for a moment to answer the chat request.

Whoosh.

My stomach dropped as I stared at my first chat to Tyler: Shg.ismtle

I’m. Going. To. Die. Alone.

I quickly typed: Please ignore that, I’m so sorry!

Seconds later, my phone dinged.

Tyler: Really? I thought you were trying to send me a secret code and I liked that we were that cool already.

This was not real, this could not be happening. Tyler had to be a bot, that was why he didn’t show his face in his profile. Bots were supposed to have a hard time recognizing and creating faces, right?

But, on the off chance Tyler was real, it would have been rude to leave the conversation so abruptly?

Y/N: Who knows? Maybe it was a secret code and I’m just testing you.

Tyler: Ok, let me guess what it means.

Tyler: Hi?

Y/N: Haha, you really thought I’d use such a simple code as a first message?

Tyler: It’s my bad for underestimating u. I should have known u were smarter since you read Maya Angelou.

Y/N: U a fan?

Tyler: “You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have.”

He knows Angelou? He could have Googled a quote though. Still, it’s a good quote to use if he had Googled it.

Y/N: Nice, but, doesn’t get u out of the guessing game.

As Tyler helplessly guessed wrong for several minutes, I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. I used to think online dating was a last resort or a breeding ground for predators. But, maybe there were decent people looking for something (or someone) meaningful after all.

Tyler: I give up, you’re really good.

Y/N: Thx. But, I can tell you what I meant to say.

Tyler: The suspense is srsly kiilling me.

Y/N: I meant 2 say hey.

Tyler: I guessed that!

Y/N: No, u guessed ‘hi’, there’s a difference.

Tyler: C’mon, barely.

For the rest of the night, Tyler and I chatted. He told me that he plays baseball at a school across town and he doesn’t like anyone around there. He liked John Mulaney stand-up, lemon bars, going to the gym, hanging out with his friends, and reading good books. He was an only child and his parents tended to spoil him. I told him about my friends and how I liked being on the swim team at my school as well as the different YouTubers and books I enjoyed. When I finally fell asleep, I dreamed of talking to him.

On Monday, Jules and Rue were hanging out outside the school as other people either headed to class or relaxed on the lawn. I could not stop my feet from bouncing as I walked up to them.

“...and that is why Sailor Mercury is the most underrated character of the whole show,” Jules affrimed.

Rue seemed halfway interested as her head nodded slowly underneath the hood of her burgundy hoodie. “Cool, all I asked was who’s your favorite but, cool.”

Jules rolled her eyes playfully and straightened up when she saw me. “Hey, Y/N, nice shirt.”

“Thanks.” I wore a sky blue tie dye shirt with ripped jeans and white Converse.

Rue leaned forward and squinted at me. “You’re not wearing black, something’s wrong.”

“Nothing’s wrong, she’s obviously been influenced by me!” Jules teased as she wrapped a slim arm around my shoulders.

“Yeah, you can only hang out with this literal rainbow human so long before she starts influencing your outfit choices.”

We started heading inside, which was really just Jules and me dragging Rue into the building.

“But I don’t wanna be here. It’s so stupid that I have to wait six more months before I can legally decide where I spend my time,” Rue muttered.

“It’s fine, you have us!” Jules insisted.

“Yup!” I agreed.

“Hey, Y/N, Rue, Jules!” Cassie greeted as she sidled up next to me.

We all greeted her.

“Have a good weekend?” Rue asked.

“Yeah, there was this great party that Nick Davis threw. I swear, everyone there was on acid.” Cassie stopped herself and bit her bottom lip. “Sorry---”

Rue shook her head. “It’s fine.”

“How were yours?” Cassie asked as we continued to our lockers.

“Fine,” Jules said.

Rue shrugged in response.

I opened my mouth to reply when my phone beeped and I wrestled it out of my pocket.

Tyler: Is it 2 late 4 a good morning text?

I smiled.

“You’re so cheesy,” I muttered under my breath.

“Who’s that?” Cassie asked, peeking over my shoulder.

I jumped and cradled my phone to my chest like it was my child. “No one.”

Jules pulled open her locker and cocked a bleached eyebrow. “‘No one’ does not cause huge smiles like that!” She jabbed a sparkly-manicured finger at me.

“Yeah, show us,” Rue said. “We are your friends.”

“It’s nothing,” I insisted as I weaved around them.

I pushed myself against my locker and managed to open it with my free hand. Rue was on one side of me and Cassie was on the other.

“Is it a boy?” Cassie sang.

“Or a girl?” Rue questioned.

“It’s none of your business,” I gritted out as I grabbed my necessary books.

As I shuffled the books in my arms, Jules came from behind and slipped my phone away from me. I gasped, whirled around, and watched as Rue tried to look at the phone while Cassie playfully blocked me.

“Guys, this is not cool! This is such a serious invasion of privacy,” I argued as I tried to move around Cassie.

“We’re besties, there’s no such thing as privacy!” Jules retorted.

“Wow, Y/N, these are so----” Jules cut Rue off.

“Adorable!” Jules squealed and turned to face me.

Cassie took the opportunity to glance at my phone and she smiled. “Aw, this Tyler guy sounds so sweet.”

I snatched my phone from Jules. “Well, now you know. Can we please go to class now?”

As the other girls grabbed their things from their lockers, I got out my phone to reply to Tyler.

Y/N: It’s never too late...until noon technically.

Somehow, I started wandering away from the girls until I ran into someone. I tried to jump away, but they grabbed me by the forearms.

“I am so sorry, I should have looked where I was going---” I stopped speaking when I recognized Nate’s direct gaze on me. I was pretty tall but I always felt like he could throw me into the lockers if he wanted to.

“Watch it, Y/N,” he muttered.

“Nate, let go of them,” Maddy chided, her hand resting against one of his arms.

She seemed to have the magic touch because he relaxed and I joined my friends. As the couple continued down the hallway, I couldn’t help but admire them. In a very messed up way, they worked. Kat had told me only a little about what Nate would do whenever Maddy upset him and I felt so bad for her, angry at him, and then conflicted. Nate just had to have that stereotypical amazing all-American look.

“You okay, Y/N?” Cassie asked.

“Yeah, is it weird that I can still feel his eyes on me even when he’s not looking?” I asked.

“No, his need for dominance permeates everyone’s sense of autonomy,” Rue assured.

“Nice,” Jules said.

“And scary accurate,” Cassie added.

Jule looped her arm with mine and steered us in the direction of our first classes. “Anyway, if he tries anything, I’m sure Tyler would gladly kick his butt for you.”

Throughout the day, Tyler and I chatted and I even had to get creative with responding. In English, I kept my head down during quiet reading time and made sure my phone was positioned just right in my lap. During geometry, I told Mrs. Packer that I was having some digestive issues and spent most of the class outside the bathroom, texting Tyler. At lunch, I could barely focus on my friends’ conversation.

“Hello, Earth to Y/N?” Lexi waved her hand in front of my face and I blinked.

“Sorry, I was----”

“Texting her boooyfriiiend,” Jules sang.

“He’s not my boyfriend, we’re just talking.” I started poking at my sandwich. “What did I miss?”

“Oh, nothing, just the fact that I nearly blew up the school during chem,” Cassie said.

“Magnesium chloride isn’t an explosive,” Lexi argued.

“Well, the tube overflowed and everyone was freaking out,” Cassie argued.

“Yeah, because magnesium chloride can have bad side effects,” Lexi continued.

“I wonder what would happen if the school exploded and we weren’t all here? Would they have to give us our diplomas?” I thought outloud.

“Ooh, and I could go to fashion school early!” Jules cheered.

“I’d be happy not coming here anymore,” Rue admitted.

It was quiet for a moment as we all ate but that quiet was broken when Maddy yelled.

“WHO ARE YOU TEXTING?”

I couldn’t help myself but look. Maddy was standing behind Nate, who was sitting with his teammates at the center table. Bebe and Kat flanked Maddy a little behind. Everyone stared at them. Nate’s jaw tightened.

“Maddy, calm down,” his relaxed, controlled voice nearly echoed in the silent cafeteria.

“DON’T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN! YOU’VE BEEN ON YOUR PHONE ALL DAY!” she snapped.

“Maddy---”

“ARE YOU TEXTING OTHER GIRLS?” Maddy shouted.

“Can we talk about this somewhere else?” Nate asked.

Maddy sighed. “Are you gonna let me see your phone?”

“Maddy, we need to talk.”

“Don’t talk to me again.”

Before Nate could respond, Maddy dumped the contents of her lunch tray over his head and threw the tray aside. Kat and Bebe followed her as she strutted out of the cafeteria amid the shocked gasps.

“I’m gonna go check on her,” Cassie whispered.

We all nodded and she quietly exited the room. As I stared at Nate, the supposed king of the school, drenched in soggy salad and fat-free milk, I wondered why he could never stay broken up with Maddy. Their relationship was not just toxic, it was volatile. Their breakups were always public and outrageous, but they always ended up back together. No one questioned it either. I never understood why people could continue to choose relationship they knew was bad over pursuing something new. I told Tyler as much that night.

Y/N: It’s like those dogs that get killed by electric fences because they keep walking into them.

Tyler: U have a good point, but, that couple’s relationship is more complicated than u think.

Y/N: Probably, but, it doesn’t look that way. They hurt each other a lot.

Tyler: How do u know?

Y/N: Bc I’ve seen it. I don’t mean 2 b judgy, but, I could never be in a relationship like that.

Tyler: Well, I don’t think anyone would b if they knew it would b bad.

Y/N: Good point. But, why would they get back together so much?

Tyler: Idk them, but, it could b bc it’s familiar and it’s what they know.

Y/N: Still, it’s messed up.

Tyler: Yeah, but I don’t wanna talk abt them anymore.

Y/N: K, what do u wanna talk abt?

A few seconds later, Tyler sent me a picture so graphically beautiful that I was convinced I passed out.

The next day, I showed Rue and Jules the picture during break time.

“Holy crap!” Jules took my phone and leaned into it for closer inspection.

“Tyler is packing,” Rue agreed.

Jules slid my phone back to me. “You haven’t replied to him?” “No, and he hasn’t talked to me at all today.”

“He’s probably expecting a reply that’s similar to what he sent,” Rue said.

My face warmed up. “I can’t send him nudes,” I hissed.

“Why not? It’s like the greeting cards of our generation,” Jules stated.

“Really? You’d send your grandparents a greeting card of your naked body?” I replied sarcastically.

“Relax, if you’re uncomfortable, we can help you,” Jules assured.

“We can?” Rue asked.

“We can.” Jules gave her a look and Rue relaxed.

“It’s still weird, but, I guess you guys can come over after school.”

“Sweet! Your mom still bakes cookies for you after school, right?” Jules asked.

I nodded.

“She might stop once she learns her darling favorite older child is sending nudes,” Rue snorted as she spoke.

I recoiled in my seat, taking a second to bask in the sun’s warmth. “Don’t remind me.”

After swim practice, once my teammates left the locker room, I eyed my naked form in the mirror. I had nothing to be ashamed of, really, thanks to all the swimming, but, I just felt weird being naked in front of people. There was something so vulnerable about it, like, being on display in a museum or lying on a cold surgery table. But, online dating was supposed to get me out of my comfort zone and I’d found someone who’d made me feel comfortable enough to do it. With this resolve, I changed into a hoodie and some sweatpants and left the school. It was dusk and I typically walked home after practice since it wasn’t far. Plus, I’d told Jules and Rue to just go to my house after school.

The late breeze rippled past me and I dug my hands into my pants’ pockets as I started walking towards the parking lot. There was barely anyone around, except stoners hotboxing their cars, some couples making out, and dance team members and football players getting out of practice.

I kept my head down as I maneuvered around the few cars and people around. It felt like someone could spot what I was about to do once I got home and it was nervewracking. All I had to do was get home, let Jules make me look even better, take these pictures, and never thinking of it again.

“Something on your mind, Y/N?” Nate called.

I froze and snapped my head up to look at him. He was leaning against his truck, looking like a model for Ford in only a tshirt and jeans. Ford should hire him.

“No, not really,” I said.

I started to side step the truck, eyeing the sidewalk that was only a few yards away as though it was a lifeline.

“Get in,” Nate ordered.

I paused and looked at him. “Excuse me?”

“I see you walking home all the time, let me do you a favor, one athlete to another.” Nate was about halfway in the driver’s seat of the car and all I could do was stare.

“We’ve...never really talked before,” I stated.

“We can talk during the drive.”

I stepped back and my eyes flittered around, like the best decision would hit me in the face. Then, I saw Maddy across the lot. She was standing with a couple of dance team girls, including Cassie. She stared me down as though daring me to do it. I glanced from her to Nate, who started the engine loudly.

I quickly climbed into the passenger’s seat and stared into Maddy’s reflection in the rearview mirror as he pulled out of the parking lot.

“How do you know where I live?” I asked.

“You forgot that I gave you a ride before?” Nate asked.

“When?”

“After Cassie’s sweet sixteen. You blacked out, your friends were panicking, and I offered to take you home. For some reason, you remembered your address,” Nate recalled.

“Oh, thanks?”

“Sure.”

We pulled up to my house a few minutes later, Lil Wayne bragging about his conquests filling the quiet. I hopped out of the truck and grabbed my bag.

“Thanks for the ride, this one, I mean, I owe you,” I said.

“Yeah, see you around, Y/N.”

I closed the door and headed inside.

“I’m home!” I called.

My mom poked her head out from the kitchen. “Y/N, how was school and practice?”

“Fine.”

“Was that Nate Jacobs outside?”

I hesitated.

How did she know what Nate’s truck looked like? “Yeah, he gave me a ride today.”

“Aw, isn’t that sweet? Rue and Jules are waiting for you in your room. They took the cookies with them.”

I nodded and went to my room. As soon as I walked in, they bombarded me with questions.

“Why did Nate give you a ride?” Rue asked.

“What did you guys talk about?” Jules inquired.

“Don’t you hate him?”

“He’s kind of a dick, but, unfortunately, super good looking.”

“Did Maddy see?”

“Do you think she’s gonna kill you?”

“Guys, I don’t know but I do know that if you do not take amazing pictures of me with no clothes on soon, I will delete my entire profile,” I interrupted.

They both nodded.

“But, we will ask for details later,” Jules insisted.

“Okay, but, please give me a cookie, I’ll need it to get through this.”

Rue extended the plate towards me and I bit into the melty goodness as Jules began doing my makeup. It was simple, only bringing out my best features. I made them both turn around as I undressed. Once I had, Jules encouraged me.

“You look amazing, I would be shocked if he didn’t jizz in his pants,” Jules said.

“Lower your voice, Y/B/N can only play Five Nights at Freddy’s so loud,” I hissed.

Jules held her hands up and Rue direct me to lay on the bed, my phone held up in front of her.

“Okay, look sexy,” Rue said.

I tried to smolder, but, by their expressions, I did not achieve it.

“No, like, pout your lips, like, you just heard that TheOdd1sOut is not uploading for a month,” Jules directed.

“And give the camera bedroom eyes, you know, as though it’s Tyler.”

“Okay.” After a few pictures, I slowly got the hang of it and even started posing a little naturally.

“Oh my gosh, Tyra is shook!” Jules cheered.

“Yeah, these are pretty good if I do say so myself.” Rue handed me my phone and I flipped through the pictures.

She was a talented photogrpaher and I joked that maybe she should go professional.

“Yeah, I’m sure I’d have a nice clientele.”

I laughed as I changed back into my hoodie and sweatpants. “Okay, help me pick one to send.”

Jules took my phone and she and Rue began scrolling.

“No, the lighting’s off in this one,” Jules muttered.

“No, it’s never off in any of these,” Rue argued.

“I’m not shading your talent, I’m just trying to find the best thing for Y/N to send Tyler.”

After a little more bickering, we all agreed on the picture and I sent it to Tyler.

“Should I follow it up with something?” I asked.

“Maybe say ‘Wrong person’? Guys want what other guys want,” Jules suggested.

“Or say ‘Sorry for the late reply’,” Rue added.

“I’ll go with Rue’s, sorry, Jules.”

Jules shrugged.

I sent everything off and my friends and I watched as Tyler typed a response.

Tyler: It was worth the wait ;).

We squealed so loud that my mom yelled for us to keep it down. We apologized as we descended into a fit of giggles. Through it all, I could not help but feel so bouncy and light all over. Was I...falling for this total stranger?

“What do you think he looks like?” Jules asked during lunch later that week.

I shrugged. “It’s different every day, if that makes sense.”

“I guess that’s the nice thing about interacting with someone who doesn’t show their face,” Jules thought outloud.

“How do you see him now?” Lexi asked.

I sighed. “Right now, I think he’s tall, six feet at least. He’s got a mix of blonde and brown hair like a surfer because it’s lightened from all the time he’s spent in the sun. He has green eyes, freckles, and he dresses well.”

“Sounds amazing,” Jules said as she rest her chin in her hand.

Rue nodded slowly. “You’re not nervous or anything?”

“No, this is so cheesy, but, I feel like I know him, you know? He’s so easy to talk to and has so much to say.”

“Y/N’s blushing,” Jules teased. “Do you love him?”

“I really, really, really, like him.”

“Do you think you’ll meet soon?” Lexi asked.

I shrugged. “I don’t know, neither of us has brought it up.”

“Well, it just matters that you’re comfortable, okay?” Rue said.

“Okay.”

If I was honest, I did not know if I wanted to meet Tyler. I knew that I liked him more than I liked anyone before, but, there was something strange about breaking this wall the internet provided us. It was freer to talk on the internet than it was in person. What if I said something stupid in front of him? What if he thought that I looked different in person? What if he looked different in person?

I managed to keep these thoughts at bay for the rest of the day until I got home. Post-dinner had been officially declared Talk to Tyler Time. None of my family knew what I was doing besides blasting Amy Winehouse in my room for about an hour. My laugh nearly overpowered her high note in “Best Friends, Right?”. I had to blink away my happy tears as I replied to him.

Y/N: That did not happen! Tyler: Yes it did! Do u want 2 c the scar????

Y/N: No, I think I’m good.

I wiped away my tears and settled under the covers. I wondered if his friends would agree that Tyler gets into some weird situations as well. Just as I started typing, Tyler beat me.

Tyler: I want 2 meet u.

The speed that I launched my phone away from me almost shocked me more than the text.

Almost.

My heartbeat thrummed in my ears. This was it, I knew I couldn’t avoid him much longer, but, I felt like I couldn’t move. All I could do was stare at my phone like it was the most offensive object in the world. Slowly, I regained mobility and grabbed my phone. I took a deep breath.

“Take a chance, Y/L/N,” I whispered.

Y/N: When and where?

“You’re meeting him tonight?” Jules squealed the next day.

I hushed her as people in the hallway paused to look at us. “Not so loud.” “But this is so exciting. Please let me help you decide what to wear,” Jules pleaded with a pout.

“Sure,” I said.

Jules hugged me. “This is going to be so fun. I won’t go crazy with glitter since this is the first time you’re meeting this guy.”

“Thanks?”

“Do your parents know?” Rue asked.

“No,” I replied as I slowly pulled away from Jules. “They’re coming Senior Night tonight, though. and I’m going to meet him at Mercy Park an hour before it ends.”

“Are you sure you even want to do this? I know that Jules and I tease you about your love life, but, this is risky,” Rue said.

“You weren’t saying that when you were helping me with those pictures the other day,” I shot back.

“That was different. You’re...you’re actually meeting him now and he could be a psychopath or a sociopath or, just, a creepy old guy who likes to look at teenagers!” Rue insisted.

“Rue, relax, everything’s going to be fine.”

“You don’t know that!” She turned on her heel and hurried into the bathroom with Jules and I on her tail.

When we entered, Rue was leaning against the wall, panting and staring up at the ceiling. Jules and I approached her slowly as the girls who were in the bathroom quickly filed out.

“Rue, slow down your breathing,” I said slowly.

“I...I can’t. You-you could get hurt or something and-and I would know about it an-and I-I couldn’t live with that!” Tears burst from her eyes as Rue began pacing and Jules and I were close but gave her room.

“Rue, Y/N is going to be okay, we both know what time she’ll be at the park. If anything happens, we’ll know the area she could be in,” Jules assured her.

Rue shook her head and stopped in her tracks. Then, she looked between us helplessly before bowing her head and sobbing. Jules and I carefully hugged her and let her cry.

“I’m sorry that I’m scared and I care about you and I don’t want you to get hurt,” Rue mumbled into my shirt.

“It’s okay, I appreciate it. I really want to meet Tyler, though, and, I promise I will let you know if something happens, okay?”

Rue nodded and sniffled.

It took Jules about an hour to make me look amazing. I had no idea my hair could be so fluffy and put together until she was done with it. She used eyeliner to make eyes look bigger and rounder and added sparkly lip gloss to make my lips look plumper. After she contoured and highlighted the best places she deemed that her work was done. My outfit, a fitted forest green long-sleeve shirt and fitted black pants with Jadons, was also approved by her.

“Tell me everything later!” she insisted.

Rue couldn’t join us since she had “prior commitments” but I texted her that I would let her know when I head to the park and when I leave. My nerves didn’t let me focus on the soccer game my parents insisted I joined them and my brother at. I couldn’t care less that the forward on one team got a yellow card or that the goalie on the other team made illegal blocks. I was practically buzzing with excitement and fear so much that I had to give my pretzel to Y/B/N. Finally, the third quarter arrived and I told my parents that I would meet them at home since I’d promised Lexi that I would help her with some homework.

Lexi wouldn’t mind being used for a lie this one time; it was an emergency.

I tried to practice some calming deep breaths as I walked over to the park. The dark night sky provided a little bit of comfort to my walk. I wondered how different Tyler would look from the picture in my mind. I wondered if he thought I would look any different. Maybe (hopefully) it wouldn’t matter to either of us.

Finally, I reached the park. It was empty, save for the oak trees scattered throughout the lush green scenery that seemed mysterious under the mooonlight. A few benches and wooden tables were around as well, but, Tyler and I had agreed to meet at the fountain which was further in the park. The breathing exercises had to have helped because I felt much more relaxed and I hoped that everything would go all right.

When I got to the fountain, there was a tall person facing it. All I could make out were dark clothes and broad shoulders. I took another deep breath and kept walking.

“This is a nice spot, you have good taste,” I commented.

“I could say the same for you.” I stopped in my tracks as Nate slowly turned to face me. His face was unreadable but his eyes stayed on me.

“What? Wh-where’s Tyler?” I asked, my voice already hoarse.

Nate glanced down at his shoes. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know how else to talk to you.”

I shook my head. “No.” My vision got blurry but I could tell that Nate was looking up at me now.

“Just let me explain,” he requested softly.

He took a step towards me and I took two steps back .

“I don’t wanna hear it. This....this is some sick joke to you or something?”

“No, never, Y/N, just listen to me.”

“I don’t want to!” The tears rolled down my cheeks and I swiped at them so hard that I thought I scratched myself. At least I could feel something because my heart felt numb. “You catfished me!”

“I just wanted to talk to you, I really do like you, Y/N. Tyler and I are the same, just different names,” Nate insisted, coming closer.

For some reason, I didn’t move. I didn’t know if it was from emotional exhaustion or stress, but, I let him approach me. I kept shaking my head.

“No,” I hiccuped.

“I wanted to meet you tonight because I was tired of lying. I want to figure this, us, out,” Nate said.

I sniffed. “Us?”

At that moment, I could actually see his face and Nate seemed so hopeful. There was a slight smile on his lips and his eyes seemed light for once. Maybe he wanted there to be an “us”. Maybe, despite all logic, he wanted to talk to me seriously and could not do it offline because of his reputation. Maybe, he was over the on-again-off-again situation with Maddy. Maybe, this was my chance, our chance.

I wiped my face again, mentally cringing at how upset Jules would be for my ruining her masterpiece.

“Yeah, us.” Nate stepped closer to me, gently wrapped his arms around my waist, and pulled me into his chest.

Gradually, my muscles relaxed and I relished in the feeling of his strong upper body and his warmth. Then, I began to feel pressure on my waist and gasped as it intensified.

“Nate, you’re...squeezing...too hard,” I rasped out.

And he started laughing, no, cackling. As he laughed, his grip tightened and I continued gasping and clawing at everything I could.

“Nate...stop!”

But he kept laughing and squeezing. When he finally released me, I looked up and saw nothing behind his eyes. Everything in me told me to run, but, I knew he could have easily caught up to me.

“I really thought you were smarter than that, Y/N. C’mon, you couldn’t honestly think that I would do all this to be with you,” he sneered.

“So why do it then?” I asked, my voice so small that I could have kicked myself for it.

Nate sighed and folded his arms. “Because you made it so easy and, to ask for a favor.”

“What? That makes no sense,” I argued. “I told you I owed you one that day you gave me a ride!”

“Yeah, well, I needed to make sure that you were available when I needed you.”

“Whatever, screw you,” I hissed as I pivoted on my heel.

“Too late for you, you’re already screwed.” Nate pulled out a folder from inside his jacket pocket. “Remember those special pictures you sent to Tyler? Well, they count as distribution of child pornography, which has a hefty fine and sentence.”

My mouth opened and closed several times before I faced him and responded. “But...but you held them, doesn’t that count towards possession? And, you’re extorting me!”

Nate glowered at me and stormed over. “Heresay, no solid evidence for your case. Plus, I’m a Jacobs, so, who are you kidding?”

I felt so sick to my stomach that I could have thrown up, fainted, or cried at that moment. This was not real, this could not be real.

“What do you want?” I asked.

“Like I said, just be available when I need you.”

“Fine.”

“Sorry, what was that?” He gripped my chin his hand and forced me to look up at him.

“Okay,” I said softly.

“Hmm.” His eyes scanned my face before he released me. “And if I ever hear you judging my relationship with Maddy again, these pictures are going to be the least of your concern.”

I nodded weakly, regretting every single thing I ever told him. Nate Jacobs was truly the devil. He wandered off into the night like a centurion leaving a victorious battle. It seemed like he always won.

I managed not to start crying until I was on the empty sidewalk. No, I sobbed so bad that my throat went dry.

How could I have been so stupid? I should have known it was him that day Maddy yelled at him for texting all day.

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

My sobs continued as I grabbed my phone and texted Rue.

Y/N: U were right.

#euphoria imagine #nate jacobs imagine

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bettsfic · 5 years

Note

first of all, congrats on all of your successes! I'm as happy for you as an internet stranger can be (which is honestly pretty happy). I have a quick writing question for you, if you're in the mood to answer one. how do you control the length of your stories? I keep coming up with plot ideas that I think are good for short stories but then I get 4k in and am still setting up the premise. is there a trick to cutting down your plot so it can be resolved in ~5k words? or is it trial and error? thx!

this is such a mood. did you know training wheels was supposed to be 10k? it capped out at 125k.

personally length is something i really struggle with because it’s also a function of interest. if i start writing anything that i know in advance will be over 10k, i get intimidated and set it aside. so, for me, it’s almost a necessity to disillusion myself into believing “it’s almost done!!” because otherwise i’d never write anything at all.

how to control the length of a story

sometimes you can’t know how long something will be, and if you’re a pantser like me, you have to let stories drag you along until they let you go. it’s part of the joy of writing. but sometimes you’ve got to know how long something will be, or control it to be the length you need it to be, for the sake of your own sanity.

because length is a number, i see it in very mathy terms

length = style x conflict

style is the way in which a piece is written. if you have thick, textured prose, or you’re in a character’s mind who has elaborate internality, it may take 20k just to take a single sip of coffee. flannery o’connor’s “a stroke of good fortune” is a long short story in which all that happens is a woman climbs a set of stairs. james joyce, virginia woolf, henry james, donna tartt – these authors are all known for slow prose styles.

conversely, you can have entire kingdoms rise and fall in the span of a handful of words, if you’re concise enough. if you want to practice brevity, write poetry. practice condensing major themes in lines and phrases and images one after another.

by style i also mean reality. if all of your characters are real, rational people functioning in real, rational worlds, it’s going to take a lot longer to, say, get character A, who is shy and lacks self-confidence, into bed with character B, who has been recently broken-hearted. if your story does not concern itself with reality, then you can speed the process along. maybe B decides A is the love of their life and they live happily ever after. you can do that; it’s your story.

which brings me to conflict.

if you can decide the

premise,

climax, and

resolution

ahead of time (which, sometimes you can’t and that’s okay), and you know your writing style and your relationship to reality, then you can figure out how long a work will be in advance. i’ll give you an example.

a couple summers ago, i was having this exact problem. i’d dipped into my summer depression, which meant i wanted to write, needed to write, but i lacked the attention and motivation to finish anything i started, which was more frustrating than not writing anything at all. so i did the opposite of what i normally do – instead of coming up with a story idea and writing it out, i decided very firmly i wanted to write a story under 20 pages. i needed a good story under 20 pages to send in as a writing sample to future programs, to get published in a good mag. because i knew i could make it to good magazines, but my stories were all too long and it’s a big risk for lit mags to take on long stories when they can promote 2 new authors with shorter stories instead.

so i asked myself, “what can i get done in 20 pages?”

and then, naturally, because i’m an asshole, my brain replied, “i can make a woman come.”

SURELY, i thought, surely the goal of a woman in search of an orgasm would not take more than 20 pages.

i was wrong, at first. the first draft was 22 pages, and subsequent drafts got it down to 16. i started the story in a sex shop because i liked the image of a middle-aged woman buying a dildo for the first time because she’d never had an orgasm. then i slowly started building the world around this woman – she had two sons, she was a comic book collector, her husband was mysteriously missing from the present narrative – and unveiled this greater world. that’s where style comes in. my writing style is minimal in exposition but packed in character details and internal narration. my curiosity always gets the best of me in that regard. i need to know everything about my characters, and i learn it by letting them show their lives to me, which is why my stuff always runs long.

many times, my fatal error is that i only come up with an initial scene to start a story, and with only that in mind, things get away from me. but if i hold off on that initial scene and force myself to consider “what is the culminating moment?” or “what ground do i intend to cover?” then i can keep things reasonably short.

here are some additional tips/tricks:

scaffolding – sometimes you have to write it all out first to learn the story yourself, and you can go back and gut it. i call this scaffolding because you have to build all this extra stuff to find the information you need, and then you take it down. this happens because, despite popular belief, we write to think, not as the result of thought. so sometimes you’ve got to write things down to see the truth of them, but it’s not integral for your readers to know. maybe, to you, it’s very important that you know that your main character was once in a devastating car accident, but your reader has no need or want to know that fact. every story has some scaffolding in the first draft. skill in writing involves finding the scaffolding and deleting it without feeling bad.

structure – if your story is ambitious in terms of the ground it needs to cover, you can alter the structure to be more conducive to your length goals. consider vignettes, non-chronological timelines, starting the story later in the narrative, ending it earlier, zooming in/out in your narration. sometimes the shortest works travel the farthest because the narrative style sounds like an oral story, something told over a beer, and the longest works are such because they are so deeply embedded in the mind.

think like a poet – one thing i admire about poets is their ability to understand the placement and purpose of every word in a poem. once, someone defined poetry to me as “a piece of writing in which every single element adds to the meaning.” conversely, prose can be in any font with any margins and spacing and it doesn’t usually impact the story. but with poetry, a poet has to go through every word and figure out its purpose, if it should be there, if there’s a better way to say what they’re trying to say, if it belongs somewhere else. the white space around poems add just as much meaning to a poem as the words themselves. that patience is extremely valuable to apply to prose, the constant question of “does this need to be here? is there a better, more concise way i can say this?”

read authors in your opposite length camp – if you write long, read short. if you write short, read long. as a long-form writer, i am always amazed at the distance some extremely short stories can travel. the first things that come to mind for me are my friend kyle’s “the serial shitter” and barthelme’s “some of us had been threatening our friend colby.” tons of lit mags publish flash fiction now (hobart, linked above, is my favorite), so i highly recommend seeking them out. conversely, if you write short, pick up a novel that resembles a brick. in both, consider the style the work is written in, and how much ground the story covers.

tl;dr length is a process of understanding and controlling your narrative style, and knowing the height of your stakes/conflict before you get started.

thanks for the great question! i hope this helps.

writing advice tag | ko-fi

#writing advice #dow19 #Anonymous #story length

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cheonjaem-blog · 7 years

Text

boyfriend! park woojin

how the shy, nerdy loser, park woojin would confess

school! au

park woojin is such a nerd lmao

everyone knows that he’s hella smart, got straight a’s, 5.0 gpa

if you’re tryna pass a class, you best be sitting next to him

but nobody actually knows him personally

he doesn’t really talk much to other students but has a semi-friend lee daehwi

you had woojin in science class

and tbh you didn’t know shit

you started off the class with an f after you failed your first quiz

and things just never got better gg

but you started realizing that the semester was ending, and you were about to take a fat ass L

your teacher called you in after class, and told you straight up that you were about to fail his class, and you needed to get your shit together

“hmmm if you’re really struggling with this material, i suggest asking park woojin to help you”

and you just want to kys because you’re not tryna fail and retake this class

but woojin kind of scared you lol

he’s so perfect and smart and low key intimidating even if you’ve known him since middle school

you’ve never really held an actual conversation with him after all those years of being in the same class

so you walk home thinking of different ways to end your life cheat on the final actually understand the material

you drop into the nearest convenience store by your house to pick up some food to motivate you to study, and you accidentally run into woojin

he mutters a quick “sorry” before walking out, but you turn around and grab his sleeve

“wait can you pretty please tutor me in science?”

and you just give him an embarrassed laugh

surprisingly he says yes!!

he’s really shy and super confused bc he’s known you for so long but he never thought that you actually knew he existed??

and he was also super flustered at seeing you since he thought you were really cute and may or may not have crushed on you for 4 years,,

so you exchange kkt’s and meet up at the library after school everyday

sometimes you buy him drinks and sometimes he’ll buy you chips

“woah how’d you know honey butter chips are my favorite??”

obviously bc he’s been low key stalking you

anyways.. he reteaches you all the key concepts that you should know for the final

and you swear the teacher has never gone over this in class but maybe you were asleep

you guys hit it off so well??

and you find out that woojin is really talkative when he’s talking about something he’s passionate about like dancing

you didn’t know this nerd danced wth??

and you feel really bad after a while bc he’s wasting his time to help you study when he could study by himself

basically you just felt like a burden ;;

so you bake him cookies as a thank you and he gets super blushy and awkward when you give them to him the next day

his blushing face is so funny that you can’t resist dropping a couple flirty teasing remarks

“aw you’re so cute woojin”

but woojin has been really enjoying spending all this time with you

he secretly likes it when you make your stupid puns

and sometimes when he’s teaching you something, he’ll drift off into space and you’ll catch him just staring at you

he’s mesmerized by you okay

as for you, you start to become comfortable with woojin

and he seems less scary, and you realize he’s just a shy bean

you notice how he’s really focused on everything he does, and you admire his perseverance

you start getting used to his presence, and it took him weeks but eventually he even starts to talk you outside of class and study sessions

like sometimes he’ll bring you lunch, and you guys will sit together in the cafeteria talking about anime or something equally nerdy

woojin has obviously never had any relationship experience and he has no other friends to confide his feelings to,,,

he’s already suppressed these feelings for the past 4 years, but now that you guys are actually friends, he doesn’t want to ruin your friendship ;;

woojin is so scared to confess bc he’s such a loser, and you’re well-loved by everyone at school

he’s way too shy and afraid you’re going to reject him immediately bc you think he’s an embarrassment to you

so one day park jihoon, your english partner, asks you to rehearse with him after school for your guys’ english project which is to recreate a scene of romeo and juliet in class

you guys wrote the script in class (a class you don’t have with woojin obvs) so of course you agree

jihoon takes you to an empty classroom and you guys start rehearsing

“o, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do. they pray; grant thou, lest faith turn to despair”

“saints do not move, though grant for prayers’ sake”

“then move not, while my prayer’s effect i take”

and then jihoon leans in to fake kiss you bc he’s a flirty asshole and it’s part of the scene but why

you laugh and jokingly hit him “why are you like this wth”

at this time woojin is looking for you bc usually you meet up by your lockers, and you’re always there first waiting for him

and of course he chooses this moment, when it looks like jihoon is going to kiss you, to walk by

and his heart actually shatters

woojin is just staring with wide eyes at you two and quickly walks off bc he feels tears coming

he never knew you and park jihoon were a thing, and now he feels stupid for ever thinking he had a chance with you

he walks out of school and hears his phone ring and of course it’s you

he doesn’t really feel like talking to you rn but he’s too kind not to pick up

woojin sucks it up and continues with your study sesh but with less smiles and jokes and most of the time you think he’s grimacing

while he’s reviewing the law of gravitation with you, your phone goes off and of course it’s a text from jihoon bc you’re really unlucky rip

woojin pauses and stares at your phone which says:

from bby boy jihoon ♡ (jihoon created that name okay) : are you my homework? bc i want to slam you on my table and do you all night long ;)

“blocked and reported”

you notice woojin glaring at your phone and when your eyes meet, you’re scared by how scary and angry he looks

he grabs you by your arm and drags you out into the hallway

woojin is overcome by a jealous rage and he ends up pushing you against the wall and slamming his hands next to your head

and you’re just like wtf what’s going on? am i in a cheesy anime or something???

adrenaline is rushing in woojin, and he literally has no control over his actions atm

“you’re not jihoon’s. you’re mine”

you’re like whoa where’d this confidence come from?? what a busan way to confess wow

and wow woojin looks so fucking hot being all alpha like this holy

his confidence is so sexy shit and you don’t even say anything and just kiss him bc damn he’s hot

whenever you mention this confession to him, he gets all embarrassed bc he had an actual confession planned out with roses and milk tea and everything but oh well

so boyfriend woojin is v v v cute,,,

he’s so innocent wow

brings you flowers on every anniversary

“happy 7th month anniversary”

“wtf woojin nobody celebrates that but thx”

really really shy

at first he doesn’t initiate pda at all,, gets flustered when you hold his hand in public

eventually gets comfortable with you and becomes clingy af

study dates!!

tries to bribe you with food and cuddles when you finish homework

“i’ll buy you boba if you finish your math homework early”

your grades start rising hella wow

started from the bottom now we here c->a

woojin is a proud boyfriend when you pass your science final with flying colors and pass the class

dances for you and wow he’s so hot when he’s dancing damn

reversal charm to the max

his snaggletooth is the cutest thing you’ve ever laid eyes on holy

he wanted to get it fixed at first since he was kind of insecure about it but you were like “uh how about a no”

you loved his tooth and he ended up loving it bc you did :)))

you have an album of woojin’s childhood pics on your phone, and he begs you to delete them but you can’t resist teasing him bc it’s so funny lmao

he tells you about his crush on you in middle school really shyly one day and you just laugh bc middle school you was a cringey part of your history and if he liked you at that awful point of your life,, he’s a keeper ;;

an angel!!

knows how to cheer you up with girl group dances hahahah

dances to twice, ioi, gfriend, every girl group to make you laugh

will destroy every last shred of his dignity to see you smile :’)

a wanna be athlete

tries to play basketball with you but prob doesn’t know the rules gg

gets jealous when you drool over male idols

“i dance better than him right???”

needs constant attention like a lost puppy

it’s okay bc he’s cute

v clumsy

tried baking cupcakes for you one day but almost burned up the kitchen hahahahah see what i did there

trips over the air sometimes

vj park in training

tries to film you dancing to the choreos he’s taught you

ends up zooming in on your face 90% of the time and having really shaky camerawork

really really caring boyfriend and will love you unconditionally ♡

#wanna one #wanna one scenarios #wanna one imagines #wanna one au #wanna one as #kpop #kpop scenarios #boyfriend au #park woojin

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bisexualamy · 6 years

Text

no re/blogs pls thx

this isn’t intense or triggering or what have you just really personal so that if someone re/blogs it even though i ask them not to i could delete the post anyway since it’s under a cut

honestly though i’m not exaggerating when i say that that taz animation saved “i can’t decide” for me like, the last time i actually listened to the song all the way through was two years ago, when my best friend who doesn’t even watch dw found a video of that simm!master scene from lottl and was like “oh you like dw what’s this” and played it

and i was putting laundry away in my dorm room while we were talking about this and i stopped and actually got into my closet and shut the door and went “please turn that off” and when he did i went and explained how tied that song is to a lot of my high school memories

like this isn’t a trauma thing it’s just... it so tightly connected to how i shut myself up in high school bc i was depressed and fictional worlds gave me a lot more meaning in my life than the real world. like a lot of it is just second hand cringe from my younger self about how intense and passionate i got about lucy/master and dissecting EVERYTHING about them. i now have a much better understanding of WHY i was doing that and i wouldn’t go back and change that if i could, but it’s just very much in a package of “this is my past and it’s shut and doesn’t need to be reopened. i’m different than this now; i’ve moved beyond it.” but a lot of it is still a very direct reminder of how utterly unhappy i was in high school.

i didn’t have a super solid idea of what real friendship was like until i went to college. i had a few select friends that were genuinely emotionally open with and didn’t criticize me for being myself and none of them went to my high school; they were all from pre-c programs. i had to leave my town to gain any decent kind of emotional intelligence and know how to actually apply, direct, and manage my empathy instead of just letting it hurt me and misapplying it all over the place.

and then i went to college and suddenly people were emotionally open and honest and blunt with me. and if they weren’t they were open to trying, or even just listening. and i wasn’t used to that and i didn’t believe it or understand it because i hadn’t really experienced it before. i have a very distinctive memory of my first semester freshman year, where i intentionally pissed off the person who is now my best friend to try and get him angry enough to not want to speak to me anymore. i was in a dark headspace and i was afraid of getting emotionally close to anyone like i had in high school and i thought i saw something coming and decided to just push him back a few paces. (and like, that was an awful, shitty thing to do and i know that now and i know that it being a product of various past things and emotions doesn’t make it right, and i’ve since been much more conscious of not doing shit like that)

and it like, didn’t work. we had this altercation i staged and then he was like “i have to go i have someone to meet” and he left and i just sorta assumed that he was gone forever and i was really sad but i had like, decided this was the right thing to do so i figured i’d get over it. but he came back after his meeting and was like “alright time to work this out and talk about it” and he was so calm and practical about it and i was fucking floored. like not exaggerating, i couldn’t understand what was going on. if i had done that to someone i was that close with in high school (and i might’ve, i don’t know. i don’t remember a lot of it) they would’ve yelled at me. one of my best friends in high school used to just scream at me when she didn’t like what i was doing because she said that’s how she would get through to me.

and i explicitly asked him like, “why aren’t you yelling at me” and he looked so confused and that’s when i started to understand that i was now in a place and among people where vulnerability was okay and people are allowed to fuck up and those fuck-ups aren’t erased but they’re contained and eventually forgiven. they don’t spread and bleed into other things and create really long-lasting grudges.

and this stuff keeps happening like, i use a lot of DBT terminology because DBT has helped me understand myself a lot and when i hear close friends of mine reference DBT terms or concepts it still sorta boggles my mind. because in some ways i’m still not used to people listening to me and remembering things i say. i’m not used to people being conscious of stuff that specific. and like, i don’t know why i’m justifying myself here but, that’s not to say that i was in a terrible abusive friend group in high school and that my life was a progression of awful shitty things. but it wasn’t good, and the net result was negative. and now some shitty things happen but the net result is so positive and i’m just really grateful to be able to continue to let go of things from my past and give them new meaning

#ren speaks

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minhyukie · 7 years

Note

A giffing tutorial would be great! I'm not at home atm and its been a while since i tried giffing so i dont have any specific qs to ask yet but i think i struggled with how to put them into frames? I think they sometimes froze and wouldnt move haha but yeah thx for much for the links and advice! I also rly struggled with finding good basic tuts so thats why i came to ask ^^

PLEASE DO A TUTORIAL ON GIFFING BC I SUCK AT IT SO MUCH PLEASE

fkdsjlfds alright!!! hopefully this is able to help u guys i know im not the best at explaining this but hopefully this will give you an idea :-) im going to do it using only photoshop (no kmplayer/vlc or any other software) and i use photoshop cs5 so depending on what version u have things might look a little different but it’ll be the same concepts!! anyway here’s a crash course in making a gif for the first time

1. get the video!!

this seems like a simple step i know but if u wanna just use photoshop and not any other software as well it’s a LOT easier if you download a shortened clip of the gif! usually i download clips between 3-10 seconds long in order to make sure i get the whole scene i want. the two best websites to trim and download into an mp4 in one step are clipconverter and video-download, they both work for youtube videos and vlive and a lot of major video websites! and of course downloading the highest quality of video available (preferably 1080p or 720p) will make your gifs look nicer

2. importing it into photoshop

file > import > video frames to layers ! i believe u need quicktime installed for this to work properly!

since your clip is already pretty short, you should be ok by just keeping it from beginning to end! if for some reason you were unable to shorten it or if you want to shorten it even more, you can select the range. dont limit the frames though! it will make the gif look choppy and less fluid!

3. adjust frames/timing

you should now see all of your frames in the animation bar at the bottom (if u dont see an animation bar go to window > animation and make sure its checked) and all of the frames as their own layers off to the right! on some part of the animation toolbar you should see something that looks like this:

when you click on the four lines with the arrow, you should see a list of options! play through the frames you have and determine if you need to delete any of them at the beginning or end and u can do so by selecting the frames u wanna delete and under those options select delete frames. once u have just the frames you want for the gif, select all frames and then on any frame click on that 0.04 with the arrow and for the delay, select “Other” and put in 0.05s (or whatever value u want but usually 0.05s looks the best once you save it!)

4. cropping

you can adjust the cropping size options at the top (it will look Something like this but it’ll depend on your version of photoshop!)

the width dimensions for tumblr are 540px for one gif, 268px 268px for two gifs next to each other and i Believe 177px 178px 177px for three gifs next to each other! so here i’ll assume i’m doing a 268px width gif and you can set the height to whatever you’d like. if you set the resolution to 1px/cm like it shows right there, it’ll automatically crop and resize the gif for you!

so at this point with the cropping and timing it’ll look something like this:

5. convert to smart object + sharpening

this might be where u had a problem with the frames freezing? so first using that menu in the animation toolbar convert to timeline animation! then, after this, select all of your layers on the righthand side and then right click convert to smart object!

after u convevrt to smart object it should only show as one layer! u should still be able to preview and play through the gif, if it’s frozen then u messed something up with the timeline animation part! so to sharpen here were the settings i used to use:

filter > sharpen > smart sharpen

a lot of people use 500% and 0.3px … personally i never liked that but its up to u to play around with it!!

here’s what the gif looks like after this:

if you compare this to the one above this one looks much nicer!

6. coloring

ok honestly i dont even Know enough to give u a coloring tutorial but that’s pretty much the only step remaining for ur basic gifmaking! honestly a lot of the time i only use brightness/contrast and color balance unless im trying to make a compilation set where everything looks super different but it’s mostly up to u to try different things out and see what looks good :-) or! you can find psds online where other people have shared their coloring settings!

7. saving settings

honestly the only important thing is that ur gif Has to be under 3 mb or it won’t play right on tumblr! other than that u dont really have to worry about anything here as long as your settings look something like this

and then ur done! u have a gif! :-D

i know i use a lot of words fdmsfds but trust me once you’re able to get through it once you’ll be able to go through the whole process in minutes!! and there are lots of other ways to go about these methods as well (tbh i dont even really do this anymore) but this is a good starting point and as u can see the gifs look pretty nice (in my . humble opinion)

happy gifmaking !!! and again if u had any more questions about this or anything else let me know!!

#Anonymous #JFKDLSMFDSFDS why is this so long i barely even said anything.\#this is so funny i really dont know how to do tutorials

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fuckyeahexofics · 7 years

Text

fic search #146

Please use the reply function to answer these. If you do use the ask box (and we prefer you don’t) please give link, # of fic search and # of item in the search. Thank you.

1. deleted by author

pls pls pls help! i'm trying to find a kaisoo fic! it was on ao3! it's a hybrid au! so kyungsoo adopts jongin when he's young and he grows older with kyungsoo over time and as he gets older he starts to develop feelings for kyungsoo and i believe dry humps kyungsoo while he thinks he's asleep! jongin might've woken him up! also there's a part where kyungsoo sits on jongins lap and kyungsoo can feel his bulge and kyungsoo freezes lol and ksoo asks chen and xiumin for advice! thx

① Hello! Some time ago I've read an amazing fanfic and was silly enough to forget where it was (maybe AFF, I'm really not sure). However, I remember almost the whole plot. The pairing is SuChen, without anyone of Exo members. Rating: PG-13. Genre: AU, angst, happy ending. It starts with Junmyeon knocking on Jongdae's apartment door. When the latter finally lets him in, turns out Jongdae was forced to break up with Junmyeon (by $uho's rich mother, I guess). Jongdae bursts out crying, Junmyeon

② calms him down, they decide to stay together. It isn’t a long fanfic. I’ve been searching for it for a few days and got nothing. If you can help me, it would be great.

3. The Magic of Pixie Dust by MitchMatchedSocks

im looking for a fic where Sehun babysits and takes his nephew + niece to disneyland/a theme park and they're in line waiting to take a photo with a prince/character and his niece asks for ice cream and one of the kids throw a tantrum?? but when they finally get to the guy he turns out to be really cute and the niece makes sehun and the guy "adult kiss" and im pretty sure chen was the photographer and sehun ends up getting the guy's number and promising his niece ice cream?? please help!! thanks

4. Where Is Love by theworldwithkaisoo

welcome back, lovely mods! i read a fic about two weeks ago and despite scouring your blog, i don't think it's recced here. it's a soulmates!au with main chansoo and side sekai, in a world where if one person gets a cut, it shows up on the soulmate's skin. kyungsoo self-harms and finds chanyeol is his soulmate after sehun finds that jongin is his soulmate. kyungsoo's stepmom is abusive and there's a scene where chanyeol helps kyungsoo with a cut. thank you so much!

5. Fearless, Like the Stars by minnuet

Hi! So, I'm looking for a xiubaek fic that was on archive of our own I believe. It was a mama au, kinda space adventure fic, where only a certain few had powers. Luhan, junmyeon, chanyeol and jongdae are all in it, with Kyungsoo as the villain. Minseok had been exiled from his own planet and then found Baekhyun and he help Baek discover his own powers. It was kinda a newer fic but I can't find it. Thanks in advance!

6. Progressive Education by Brandedbutterfly

Hi ^^ ok, so I know this might sound pretty vague, but I have no idea where or whom should I ask for help: around 2 or 3 years ago I read a fanfic on aff, most probably hunhan, but my memory may not serve right. It was romance, had a lot of smut, was chaptered (a lot of them) + completed and the most helpful unique thing it had *i hope so*, the author posted pics of herself and her daughter at the end of the chapters in the author note section. I hope you could help me ❤ Thank you!!

Hey admins , there's a wolf!au fic I believe the couple were HunHan where Luhan was the alpha but he liked being the bottom and sehun was the omega and he was the top (or the other way round) , and then the pack finds out and shames luhan or something like asdfghjkl I've been looking for it and I can't figure out its name

8. and we drown in our sins by khrysallis or nostalgia (n.) by fumerie

hiii I'm so happy y'all are back~ i was wondering if you guys know this fic, too, EXO were "guardians" of their respective power, and I remember Lu Han was the Oracle in it but it wasn't Zodiac. (If that makes sense??) I think it was Hunhan or Lukai, sorry if this doesn't make sense :(

9. Frisk Your Friends by RacyRoulette

Hi I read a fic a while back and I think it was from this blog but I checked the tags and could not find it. It was a gangbang fic I think and baekhyun might have been dared or smthn I can't really remember but I do remember he ended up losing and had to deepthroat a cucumber. Then they had a little competition to see who could deepthroat it further and then all I Remember after that was that they all had sex and baekhyun might have been penetrated by two dicks at once?Dnt remember what site sry

10. deleted by author

Hello wonderful admins of beauty! I am looking for a Hybrid!AU fic with Taoris as main pairing. Tao's a catboy at a new school and Kris looks human but is also a catboy and somehow popular. Also love you guys lots xoxo

11. Young One by strange-seas

I've been trying to find this fic and I've looked everywhere :( it's minseok/(suho,kai or Luhan idk which) ?? Is the prince and minseok starts falling for him. There's asshole cousin sehun and best friend yixing who has one sided love for ??. seok knows he can't have ?? Since the prince can't leave his kingdom behind so seok leaves on a ship with yixing and then a few years later seok meets ?? Again.

12. Redamancy by abcdefghiluvyou (log into LJ to view the fic)

hi! I read a fic aaaaaaages ago and have been having trouble trying to find it again?? it was a/b/o verse nd one member was being given to a new pack as like a gift for the alpha or something?? idk but whilst making the journey to the new pack with like three or four members of it, one of them had to help him with his heat (think they ended up being mates??) I was p certain the pairing was baekyeol but couldn't find it in the tags?? thank you for your help!

13. Play Pretend by cwtchbuddy

Hello, sorry if this is the same that everyone sends but, I'm looking for this fic for a while now ;;;;; is a fanxing where they (fanxing) are roommates and pretend being in a relationship for YiXing avoid some frashman and YiFan want to practice his skills in act, in the end they start a real relationship when found out that they like each other. Sorry if this was a bad discription and thanks for this lovelly blog.’

thank you to all the anons, @just-get-me-my-mineral-water, @teespoone, @thiscitywas, @brezjanae, @iminlovewithkyungsoo, @cactus-boii and @kaisoo-catalog

#fic search

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vigilantewives · 7 years

Note

I haven't seen the newest episode of OUaT yet, but from what I've seen I can't tell if it's a good episode or a terrible episode. Would you mind giving me your opinion?

There were parts of the episode that I enjoyed and obviously there were parts I didn’t like. I don’t want to be a negative Nancy and just bash everything, so I’m gonna be as simple as possible.

I keep writing how I want to go about this, and I keep deleting it, because I’m not sure what I should say.

To cut everything short, the writing could’ve been better. Like I get it, I get that Emma has these deeply rooted abandonment issues, but I don’t like how the writing made it seem like Killian just gave up and abandoned her, because to me that’s not what he did. Couples fight, that’s what they do. They don’t always agree.

And then you have everyone else just write him off like he’s nothing. He hurt Emma, fuck this guy. Like are you kidding me? Here you have Killian trying to work his way back to Emma and everyone is just like done with him. I know they assumed he skipped town because of one little fight with Emma, but not even thinking to see if anything’s up. His bag was at the docks still (unless Gideon actually put it on the ship as well to make it believable that he bounced.) On top of that you have his things still in the house (his flask - that he never goes anywhere without honestly; his spyglass, Liam’s ring and whatever else personal effects). I just don’t get any of this.

After everything that’s happened. He helped them get Henry back from Pan. He helped save David from the Dreamshade poison that would’ve killed him. He sacrificed himself for these people and they’re just shitting on him. Like he’s not worthy to sit at their table. I’m sorry but no. Like they accepted Regina for every single thing she’s done (she’s not marrying into the family, but still) they accepted her and treat her like one of their own and it’s like Killian doesn’t even deserve them. I’m still annoyed at this, because wtf writers? Like all this drama and for what?

Other than that, I could look past all that fake angst, and drama for drama’s sake and enjoy the episode:

I mean the Agrabah parts were pretty cool.

Jafar lasted longer than I thought {aka he didn’t just have one scene like he did in the first few minutes in 6x01};

we broke the tradition of Ariel slapping Hook and got a hug instead.

Ariel was killing it with her little cute pun “Son of a fish.”

Jasmine and Aladdin got True Love’s Kiss (STILL WAITING FOR A CS ONE WRITERS!! THX) as well as returned Agrabah from being stuck in a ring (no I’m not kidding, it was in a diamond ring),

Aladdin is no longer a genie.

Jafar is now a stick, which looks pretty freaking creepy.

We finally got Killian in a bed, but of course Emma was nowhere to be found (seeing as she wasn’t where he was)

We got Drunk Snow, how could I forget Drunk Snow. Who beat some vikings at darts and took one of their helmets

Ariel and Jasmine rode a magic carpet together, cute.

Henry is pretty lazy as a teenager (#relatable af)

We got David awake (Emma tells him about Killian killing his father)

We got some sweet Daddy Charming feels

Emma was looking gorg in that black turtleneck and hair swept to the side

Regina really out here talking happy hour and coupons and sent David back to sleep after he woke up so Snow could join that nonsensical Girl’s Night Out (only highlight of GNO was of course Drunk Snow - more of that pls thx)

Killian basically playing matchmaker to Jasmine and Aladdin “For two people in love, you’ve terrible communication” aka pot meet kettle

Killian’s entrance to save Jasmine and Aladdin

Every Killian part, okay? I love him a lot.

Last but not least and this is not gonna be a bullet point, was Killian calling Emma on the shell phone, reaffirming what we already knew that he’d never leave her as well as “I love you. I don’t know if you can hear me but I’m trying to get home to you. And I won’t stop trying until I do.” Finally got another ILY between them, only took 84 years and another involuntary separation to do it, but we got it.

Honestly I just want them to be reunited and get this angst over with. I love angst as much as the next person, but this is too much for my heart to take. Mmkay?

And that’s pretty much it, I guess. And I’m honestly surprised that you came to me for this, because I’m never good at giving opinions about an episode unless it’s to point out one little thing.

But I think I did good ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#6.15 a wondrous place #ouat spoilers #captain swan #since i did talk about it a little #rejectedendermen

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apkrich-blog · 5 years

Text

Avakin Life MOD Apk Download + Unlimited Money + Diamonds + Many Features

New Post has been published on https://www.apkrich.com/avakin-life-mod-apk-download-unlimited-money-diamonds-many-features/

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HK Great: This game is amazing, I love it. You can choose your look, you’re studio or apartment, it’s great! But…when I’m working at the coffee shop, people come in, and sit around doing nothing. No one buys anything. So can u plz make something where if someone isn’t working, and doesn’t buy something in the next 10 minutes, they should be kicked out of the coffee shop, and they can go back in the next 24 hours? Thx. But other than that, it’s awesome.

Tara girl: Great game!❤️ The reason I didn’t give 5 stars is there are fewer job opportunities.. only two jobs to earn money and they pay very less.. but everything is soo expensive. I think that’s not fair. I suggest the team to add more jobs like pizza delivery, cleaning houses, designing fashion designs, work as club dancers or any job possible. Please add more jobs and pay significant amounts…

Julie Chisholm: This game is super fun super cool Jess warning do not get it to give anybody personal info your name number or anything like that unless you know them or have met them unless you’re a responsible adult and you can do what you that but if you’re under the age under 20 you shouldn’t do it and I should know😍😄🤗

quintina joplin: great app!! I love the decorating the house part!! would be nice if we could do more with the avatars besides just chat and invite over.. may move in or build a relationship? great graphics and gameplay!! I’m level 4 and it’s only 3 jobs to try n make coins.. please add more because a lot of people don’t buy drinks n what not. thanks for a great game!!

A Google user: This is a fun amazing game! I have been playing for months and can’t put my phone down! The only problem is the report button. People have been reporting me for crazy reasons, like not gifting them! It’s not really fair to the ones getting reported for no reason. But other than that its a really fun game I would recommend to everyone.

Susie Synth: I love this game but why did you guys have to take out the retro club?? that was so fun. Here is a big issue I’m having when I set up my furniture it says an error occurred cant save at this time or something like that? why? can I get some help, please? thank you. I spend a lot of money on this game and would like to decorate my homes.

Kenyatta Brinkley: Really enjoy the social aspects of the game. The graphics are gorgeous and the customization options are phenomenal! It’s already taken over a great deal of my gaming time lol. My only two issues are as follows. 1.) It’d be nice to see at least one LGBTQ friendly venue that can be visited and worked in, with the focus on it being an LGBTQ establishment, like so many of the straight ones. 2.) The job system rate of pay exchange is too low!!! That’s all I have for now. Thanks a lot for a great game!

cathrine Stevens: it’s good but I would add more animation for relationships and the action graphics can be a bit better. I wish they go deeper with games and things to do. I also hope they do more like marriage and actual relationships. I think body mods are needed and the body shape is kinda annoying that you can’t customize it. that would be very interesting. but besides that the game is decent.

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xoxoslime16 slimelover: really good app definitely recommend to friends love the way u can have friends and dress up in unique styles and purchase houses. The reason I give the rate a 4 is that the game is required any internet connection in order to work and I think we should be able to play without an internet connection. I think Lockwood publishing inc needs to work on this.

Daoming Si: This game is awesome! You can do a lot of things in this game! But may you please make an update to have a scale on your body parts so you can have different sizes! So everyone can be different! I would also like for you to have babies and bring them to places! Thank you for your support Avakin!

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App Download Version 1.028.00 Last Updated April 18, 2019 Apk Size 83 MB Offered By Lockwood Publishing Ltd Category Role Playing Content Rating Rated for 12+ Support Android Version Android 4.1 and up Installs 10,000,000+ Play Store Available

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take pictures and videos

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view network connections

send sticky broadcast

full network access

control vibration

prevent device from sleeping

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