Tumgik
#now is the king me or taako?? that's for you to decide and you to know also
noodyl-blasstal · 4 months
Text
King of the (bouncy) Castle
It's @taznovembercelebration day 17 and today I drew the prompt "soft"
Read below or on Ao3 if you prefer. Missed yesterday's? Find it here.
-
“Ko!” Lup yells from the hall.
“What?” He screams from his bedroom, because he’s still deciding on what to wear and if it’s that urgent she can come in.
“Do you know anyone else?”
“In general? Or?”
“Don’t be a dick. Do you know anyone who can come today?”
“Why?”
“Magnus had to drop out.”
“We can win without him.”
“A team is four people.”
“Ask Dav.”
“He’s racing today”
“Lucretia?”
“She just laughed until I hung up. It was a solid 3 minutes.”
“Merle?”
“I’m going to need you to work from the assumption that I have remembered our joint friends with whom we spend all our time”
“But seriously, Merle.”
“Taako, I have tried everyone we jointly know. He said he was going to be busy in the greenhouse, and then he said some other things. Would you like me to tell you what those other things are? Because I can. I can tell you exactly what he had planned for the onions because he told me because I had him on speaker phone and I got trapped in my shirt and he said a lot of words before I could hang up. They’re burned into my brain forever and cha’girl is happy to share that burden.”
“No! Lulu, don’t! I’ll cast silence.”
“I’ll counterspell it. Now start thinking of people.”
“Angus?”
“I also know Angus, and he’s a literal child.”
“He’s, what, 6 now?”
“He’s eleven, Taako, you baked him a cake in the shape of the number for his birthday two weeks ago.” There’s no need for Lup to slander him like this.
“Eleven! That’s basically an adult for humans, right?”
“No.”
“Are you sure?”
“Are you going to stop doing special magic boy lessons with him because he’s all grown up now?” Lup goes for the jugular. He doesn’t have to stand for this cruelty, for the implication that he actually likes spending time with the baby.
“What aboutttt… erm…” Taako changes the topic seamlessly and casts his mind furiously about for a name, any name, of a person Lup wouldn’t have already called. There’s one that popped up as soon as Lup asked and he’s trying his best to see round it but it keeps sidling into his eye line. He can’t though. It’d be a disaster. “Errrrr… Brian.”
“No. Absolutely anyone else.”
“What’s wrong with Brian?”
“He’s in a cult!”
“But apart from the cult stuff he’s lovely.”
“Taako! Do you want to win or not?”
Fine. Fine! Taako does very much want to win, especially after Lydia tripped him last year.
“Kravitz.” He says it fast, like he’s ripping off a plaster. Maybe Lup won’t put two and two together.
“The guy from work?”
“No?”
“Oh, you know another Kravitz, do you?”
“Yes?”
“Is any of that supposed to have convinced me?”
“Is it working?”
“No.”
“Fuck.”
“So… different Kravitz? How do you know Kravitz-Who’s-Not-From-Work? Why do you have a way of getting in touch with him?” Lup’s going to cling to this an unnecessary amount.
“Ooooh are we talking about Kravitz?” Barry, fucking Barry, asks. Wandering his ass right into their private conversation.
“This is a private conversation, Barold.” Yells Taako through the door of his room into the hall of their too-small shared apartment.
“Would you like me to put my noise cancelling headphones on?” Barry asks, earnestly, like he’d actually fucking do it if Taako said yes.
“Absolutely not, Barry, You live in this house and you have every right to be in this hallway.” Lup snaps. She’s still mad about last time Taako forgot to tell Barry he could take the headphones off. In his defence, he made him a cake about it. A jake, in fact, with edible press studs. Barry loved it! Plus, he was listening to one of his lectures, he was fine, happy as a clam!
“Fine.” Taako threw up his hands, no one could see him, but it felt important to do it anyway, you know, for the drama. He couldn’t argue with this, he didn’t have a choice, he may as well give in and call Kravitz, they’ve both worked together to twist his arm. “You’re making me do this though. It’s not because I want to. I’ve been compelled.”
“What?” Says Barry, perplexed. “I thought we were just talking about your crush.”
“His what?” Says Lup.
Taako springs forward and manages to flick the lock across the second before Lup tries the handle.
“You’re in love with death?” She tries the handle a few more times, as if it’ll jiggle the lock free.
“A man isn’t his job, Lup.” Taako shouts back. Denying everything.
“That wasn’t a no!”
“I have to ring him, because you’re making me. Or do you not want to win Bounce Off 2: Bounce in the City?”
There’s grumbling from the other side of the door followed by a muttered “c’mon Barold,” fakeout. Taako’s wise to it though, so he isn’t shocked by her ‘one last try’ of the door handle, or the second attempt that follows after she does fake footsteps away from the door.
“Fine! He’d better be down though and good.”
“He’s tall.” Says Barry, conversationally. He’d better not plan on telling Lup anything else.
“Good. We can use height.Is he strong?” Lup asks.
Kravitz is strong, Taako knows that for normal reasons, reasons like he can carry a lot of pastries when he orders them; and that time he helped Taako move the big table when someone spilled and he had to clean under it. Not reasons like all the time he spends staring at Kravitz’s forearms, and his thighs, and his everything else. Because he doesn’t do that. Taako would never.
“Fine. Don’t answer me.” Lup actually leaves this time, Taako pretends he can’t hear Barry telling her about Kravitz and his newfound love of coffee and baked goods.
Taako [10:23] Yo stud got a minute to chat?
It was only polite to text first, he doesn’t want to jumpscare Kravitz with a phone call, he isn’t a sadist. The three dots flashed up immediately. Thank fuck he’s awake at the crack of dawn.
Bones [10:24] Dear Taako, Of course, I’ve always got time for you. All best, Kravitz.
Taako has been trying hard not to find his ridiculous dork texts endearing. He’s failing. Badly. He ignores the squooshy feeling it gives him and hits the call button instead.
“Hello Taako, it’s lovely to hear from you!” Says Kravitz like he actually means it.
“Hey Krav, quiiiiiick q for ya. What’re you doing this morning?”
“I’m just practising.” Of course he is. Why wouldn’t Kravitz be sat straddling his giant instrument right now? Taako’s mature though, he won’t make a joke about it.
“Can’t keep your hands off your instrument, shameful!” Fuck.
“Well, someone has to keep it in tune.”
Gods, he wasn’t supposed to play along. Why did he keep flirting back? Was this whole thing actually plausible?
“Wanna spend some time with Taako instead?”
“I’d be very interested in that.” Kravitz says, buttery and glorious.
“How do you feel about inflatables?”
There’s a long pause.
“It’s not a sex thing.” Taako says, to make it less weird.
“I’m not sure that makes what you said less weird, Taako.”
“You know, like bouncy castles.”
“Okay.” Kravitz doesn’t sound particularly convinced.
“And my sister will be there.”
There’s another pause. “...And Barry?”
“Obviously.”
“Uh huh.”
Fuck, Taako’s losing him, and it’s suddenly incredibly important that Kravitz not only agree to this, but is also enthusiastic about it. “It’s a competition.” Says Taako.
“Oh?” Of course that piqued his interest, Kravitz loves competition. He tries to help harder than any other customer, tip better than anyone else, and he races people in the street.
“We lost last year, but we’ve been in training.”
“You’ve been in bouncy castle training?”
“Obstacle course training… and also trampolines.”
“Is that what the weird squeaking is when we’re on the phone sometimes?”
“What?”
“You know, the calls where you’re all breathy and there’s the squeaking noise.”
Taako didn’t realise Kravitz had picked up on that. “You didn’t think…?”
“Well now I know it’s not a sex thing.”
“You thought it was a sex thing and you stayed on the phone?”
“I don’t judge.”
“You didn’t wanna ask Taako what he was up to?”
“I know you’re a private person.”
“Not if you think Taako’s doing sex things on the phone without your consent. In fact, that’s the least private a person can be.”
“You make a compelling point.”
Taako doesn’t even begin to know what to do with that. “So… bouncing?”
“Where is it?”
“We can pick you up.”
“All three of you?”
“Barry said he’s sorry and he’ll stop asking about the ‘secret sauce.’”
“I just really don’t think it’s a respectful way to talk about embalming fluid.”
Taako thinks it’s a great way to refer to embalming fluid, but he also wants Kravitz to be happy. “He double pinky promised.”
“Oh, well if he double pinky promised.”
“Great! Pick you up in 20, wear something snazzy.”
Taako hangs up the phone before Kravitz can object or ask anything else. He has limited time and an outfit to re-plan.
58 notes · View notes
kimostv · 2 years
Photo
Tumblr media
return of the king
[ID: Digital drawing of Taako, a lean elven man with tan skin and shoulder-length, dyed blonde hair. He’s standing with one leg up on a box, resting his arm on the leg while gesturing outward with the other arm. He looks like he’s mid-explanation about something he thinks should be basic knowledge. He’s wearing blue pants and shirt, a blue-green coat tied at the waist with a yellow sash, a red scarf, and a large wizard’s hat the same color as the coat. A wand is tucked behind his ear.]
400 notes · View notes
ceilingfan5 · 4 years
Note
Ok ok okay, 11 (travel/road trip!au), 6 (fake dating), and 1 (r u sure this is legal?) Or 38 (I’d rather eat spam) I can’t decide. Have fun!
anyone whos read or seen me post about Run Away With Me knows i love a good road trip AND fake dating!!!!
“I’d rather eat spam.” Taako stares at the motel bed with a pinched expression and follows it up with a look at Kravitz like he’s the crab ruining his night. “You can sleep in the chair.”
“I’m not going to do that.” Kravitz smiles back, daring him to step to. “The nice woman at the front desk gave us the honeymoon discount. Is this really the way to treat your honey?”
“You’re the bees!” Taako folds his arms. “I’m going to sleep in the car, then.”
“No, you’re not. It’s a king size bed. It’s plenty big enough for both of us to keep our hands to ourselves. Unless you’re afraid of...what, snuggling me in the middle of the night? Sure, it would add to our cover, but how could your dignity ever recover from-”
“That’s not- Ugh!” Taako stomps his foot like a petulant child, seems to regret embarrassing himself with something so beneath him, then decides to roll with it because there’s no taking it back. “It’s not that I don’t want to sleep with you-”
“Then what?” Kravitz smiles. “I even brought pajamas, so you won’t have to suffer me nude.” 
Taako can’t help but lick his lips, and he blushes when he realizes he did that out loud.
“It’s just...you wouldn’t understand.”
“Try me.” Kravitz softens a little, losing his defensive edge. “I know I’m not actually your boyfriend, but we’ve spent a lot of hours in the car with one another, and the fact that I don’t want to kill you yet is promising.”
Taako snorts despite himself. 
“It’s just that I get night terrors, alright? And I’m gonna wake you up, and you’re gonna be weird about it, and it’s gonna be a whole thing, and then you won’t look me in the eye tomorrow-”
“In my hypothetical defense, if one of us is driving, I’d prefer the eye contact to be minimal.”
“Oh, shut up! I’m being vulnerable here and you’re being a dweeb honkus.”
“I have to admit, that’s not something I’ve been accused of before, but I see your point.” Kravitz sighs and sits on the bed, patting the spot beside him in invitation. Taako debates it silently for a moment before giving in and joining him. It is a pretty comfortable bed for a motel. It would be nicer than sleeping in the back seat of his car. 
“I’m sorry to hear you get night terrors, Taako, but that isn’t going to bother me. Besides, it’s not something you can help, so I can hardly blame you for it, can I?” His tone is so gentle that Taako wants to punch him. But maybe with his face. Gently. He tries to shake that impulse off. What they have is fake. It’s just to get them across the country to Neverwinter. It’s not going to be real and it never was.
Kravitz looks at him with those big, soulful brown eyes and Taako aches.
“Yeah, I guess,” he says, mouth dry. “Thanks.”
“You shouldn’t have to thank me for treating you the way you deserve to be treated,” Kravitz says, a little mystified, and he bumps their shoulders together fondly. “But you’re welcome. Now, unless you’re planning to pin me down and really use this bed the way the manufacturers intended, I’d like to suggest we find the remote and see if they have enough cable to get us the Food Network. What do you say?”
Taako blushes fiercely at the impossible possibility, and he nods. If only. If only this were real. If only they were actual boyfriends. If only…
A kiss would be real nice, right about now.
113 notes · View notes
sgrumby · 4 years
Text
Fairytale AU prompt for @sourdoughbirb!
-
Lup scowls.
What a miserable evening. Sure, it’s a party, and sure, maybe she’s had some good food and wine, and sure, Taako’s here (somewhere), but, while that may normally be her criteria for a good night, tonight is different.
Tonight, she’s meeting her husband.
She’s never even met the guy, and yet she’s been engaged to him since she was five. Prince Kravitz is destined to be king of the Raven Queen’s domain, one day, and marrying the princess of Faerun is apparently a good way to strengthen their good relations, or some dumb shit. Lup doesn’t care about any of that bullshit.
She’s been opposed to the idea in principle since she’d been old enough to understand what an arranged marriage is. She’s been opposed to the idea of marrying Kravitz specifically since last week, when she saw his royal portrait. The dude was dressed in a three-piece suit, wearing a cloak lined with raven feathers. He had a bird on his shoulder and a human skull in one hand. Like, okay, jeez, Lup gets it, he shops at Fantasy Hot Topic.
And now she’s got to meet the guy. And Davenport, protector and regent of the realm, insists she’s not allowed to be a dick to drive him away.
It’s not gonna stop her trying. She’s just gonna be stealthy about it so Dad’n’port doesn’t realise.
“Where is he?” She asks the gnome as he passes the stage she’s sat on, forced to only watch and not participate in the party below. “Shall I add ‘late’ to the long, long list of reasons he’s not good husband material?”
“His people insist he’s getting ready,” Davenport replies. “I thought you of all people would appreciate a man who’s fashionably late.”
Lup scowls. It’s true, but that doesn’t mean she likes Kravitz.
-
Taako’s trying to go incognito.
Sure, Lup’s getting married or whatever in, like, a week, but that’s nothing to do with him. And thinking about that just makes him depressed, because he knows that at some point he’s also going to be forced into some loveless marriage with a stranger to reinforce diplomatic ties.
So, instead, he’s shoving as many canapes into his handbag as he can fit, dressed down with his hair up. He thinks he’s done a pretty good job of disguising himself; he’d never wear this shade of beige, especially not with this ugly brown colour. No, Taako is undercover as a man with no sense of style at all.
(He’d taken all these clothes from Barry’s closet.)
He takes a whole platter of cocktail sausages and tips it into his bag, craning his neck to check no one’s watching.
Someone is.
Taako’s eyes widen. It’s not like he’ll be in any real trouble, here – he is a prince – but there’s press at this event, and he really doesn’t want photos of this in tomorrow’s tabloids. He turns to dash off, but the crowd thickens around him and he’s suddenly got nowhere to go.
The man’s hand falls on his shoulder. “Hungry?” He says. He's got a nice voice (even if it is in an oddly strangled cockney accent), and – Taako turns to look – damn, he’s handsome. He’s tall and black, with his dreadlocks up in a bun. He’s not wearing a suit, instead pulling off a tight black t-shirt very well, which surprises Taako. Sure, maybe Taako also isn’t in high fashion, but he’s a prince. How had this guy got past security?
Taako shrugs. “It’s for a midnight snack, m’dude.”
The guy reaches down to snatch a cracker. “Are you – do you want me to help you get some more? It’d be less conspicuous if there’s two of us taking food.”
Taako tilts his head, confused, for a second, and then he laughs. “You’re offering to help me steal food?”
He shrugs. “Is it stealing if it’s a buffet?”
“Okay, my man, but nothing with peanuts. Taako – Uh, I mean, Justin, is allergic.”
“Justin?” The man raises an eyebrow. “Not Taako.”
Shit. Is his cover blown? Maybe not, Taako decides, there are a lot of people from the Raven Queen’s realm here. People who won’t know the prince of Faerun has a habit of stealing finger food. “Talkin’ in the third person has some downsides, huh? Anyway, thug, now you know my real name and my fake name you might as well tell me yours.”
“What’s your opinion on these caramelised jalapenos, Justin?” The guy says, clearly avoiding the question. Taako narrows his eyes.
“Oh, a real man of mystery, huh?” He says. “I’ll call you... Garyl.”
“Garyl?” The guy says, pilfering a tray of mozzarella sticks from the table and popping one in his mouth, offering the rest to Taako. “Why Garyl?” He says, holding a hand in front of his mouth to prevent crumbs spraying everywhere.
“My horse – cat, my cat is called Garyl,” Taako says. Normal people who aren’t princes don’t have horses, right? Gods, what’s happening? He’s a good liar, normally, but this dude’s rippling abs are putting him off his game. “It’s what I name all my pets.”
“I’m a pet?”
Taako gives the guy a wink. “If you want.”
The guy flushes. “No, uh, my name is Kravitz.”
“Kravitz?” Taako says. “That sounds familiar. Where are you from?”
“Oh, Astra,” the guy says, sounding evasive.
“The Raven Queen’s capital? You ever seen her?” Taako pries, his curiosity in the guy’s origins replaced with a desire to learn more about Lup’s mother-in-law-to-be.
“Oh, a few times,” he replies. “She’s not as terrifying as they say.”
“Damning with faint praise, there,” Taako says.
“No, no, she’s nice. I mean, that’s the impression I’ve always gotten, from a distance, y’know...” Kravitz tails off. “So, uh, why are you at this party?”
“Oh, mainly to steal food, honestly. And my sister’s getting married, soon, and I kinda don’t wanna be around her. She’s just grumpy.”
Kravitz laughs, and Taako’s unsurprised to learn it’s a very attractive noise. “I’m to be wed soon, too. Unfortunately.”
Taako raises an eyebrow. “Unfortunately? I’ve heard of cold feet, but that seems extreme.”
Kravitz winces. “Yeah, I’m sure she’s great. Unfortunately, uh, I’m not really, y’know...”
“Oh, yeah?” Taako grins, and Kravitz laughs.
“Yes. It’s a kind of arranged marriage situation, you understand,” he says. “It was organised long before I was, uh, out of the closet.”
Taako smiles sympathetically. “Yeah,” he says. “My sister’s is arranged, too.”
“Well,” Kravitz says, snatching a couple of glasses of champagne from a passing waiter. “I don’t know what to toast.”
“To love?”
“To love,” Kravitz nods, and chugs the whole flute. “And finding it in the worst of circumstances.”
“Well, hey,” Taako says. “You’re not married yet, right?” And he shoots Kravitz his best salacious wink. Kravitz flushes deeply and steps back, and Taako laughs. “Hey, listen, thanks for the food, but cha’boy’s bag is full, so I’m gonna bounce. Maybe I’ll see you later, yeah?” he asks. It’s been a while, and he’s starting to feel bad about leaving Lup alone on the stage.
“I suspect you will, yes,” the guy says, and what’s that meant to mean?
-
Taako sidles up next to her, and Lup slaps his arm. “Where the fuck have you been, goofus? I’ve been up here alone.” He’s back in his flamboyant, colourful princely clothes, still holding the handbag.  
He cocks his head. “The hubby not here yet?”
“No. Apparently he takes even longer to get ready than you.”
Taako rolls his eyes and digs a mozzarella stick out of his bag. “Here, eat this. I’ve got some sauce in here, too, somewhere -”
“Not if it’s loose, thank you, Ko,” Lup says. Taako immediately stops digging through his bag.
“This bag is clean,” he protests with a shrug. Lup’s about to argue – she saw that bag on the floor in his room just the other day, actually, it’s definitely not – when they’re interrupted by the trumpeters the Raven Queen’s entourage had brought with them. The room falls silent and turns to the door.
“Oh, great, he’s a drama queen,” Lup whispers. “We’ve never had a fanfare.”
“No, but we should,” Taako says, and Lup hates that she kinda agrees. “It’s definitely dramatic.”
Before she can reply, a man sweeps into the room. Tall and black, his dreads flowing down his back, dressed up in a three-piece suit. Taako goes stiff at her side.
“May I present,” the trumpeter announces, “the duke of Astra, Prince Kravitz!”
Kravitz steps up the stairs. Lup scowls at him - she’s only got one chance to make a bad first impression! - but he barely glances at her. Instead, his eyes widen in shock and he looks away, straight at Taako.
80 notes · View notes
herbgerblin · 4 years
Text
taako is (very politely) kidnapped by the bird king p.4
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Also now on Ao3!!
“What do I call you, my dude?” Taako asks the little man leading him down a sloping hallway. “Since I’m going to be, uh, living here perpetually.”
“You may call me Davenport, My Lord.”
“Cool.” Taako does a double take. “Wait, I’m a lord now?”
“Of course,” Davenport replies. “As the king’s betrothed, you and Lady Lup have already been conferred titles. And, after the wedding, you shall be crowned King Consort. There will be other add ons, to be sure. But that’s the only one you really need to take to heart.”
“That does have a nice fuckin’ ring to it,” Taako mumbles.
Everything in the castle feels older, but looks newer, in a sense. The lamps in the hallway are lit with light bulbs, but they look thinner and lighter than any Taako’s ever seen before. And he hasn’t spotted a wall outlet anywhere. How is he going to charge his phone?
This one question knocks against a series of others in Taako’s brain, reminding him that he is in a strange and unfamiliar place. A place he doesn’t know how to escape. A place where he doesn’t know what kind of potential dangers he could be in.
But Davenport seems okay. He walks particularly fast for being nearly half Taako’s height. His hair is slicked back, and he has a neat little mustache. He wears a light yellow suit jacket with an array of hummingbirds stitched neatly on the shoulders. 
They occasionally pass through hallways that have glass on the ceilings and on the floor. Taako’s breath catches, and he crouches down to marvel at the view. 
The castle is built on a small island in the middle of a grand, crystal-clear sea. The water beneath them is so perfectly undisturbed that it reflects the last remnants of the late evening sky. 
“Wait,” Taako says, retching his gaze away from the window. “What time is it? It’s evening now? Why is everyone up and about?”
“Our schedules fall a bit differently due to the nature of the king’s work,” Davenport replies. “It takes some time to adjust fully, but I can assure you that everything follows a routine as though it would in the daylight hours.”
“That’s—okay.” Taako says, and decides not to pursue that particular train of thought. What matters most to him is finding a route of exit. As he makes mental notes of the many open views and doorless hallways, he determines that movement won’t be the problem, but stealth certainly will. “So what’s the plan now, kemosabe?”
“First is your fittings. Then a brief history lesson, then a meal—I am sure you’re famished after your light journey—then a tour of the grounds, then a number of introductions, then—”
“I’m sorry for asking,” Taako interjects.
Davenport chuckles. “Yes, well. Becoming the king’s spouse does bring along its slew of responsibilities.”
“My dude, I didn't even know I was going to be marrying the king until less than a day ago.”
“We sent numerous correspondences, My Lord.” 
Taako gets the feeling that Davenport is saying ‘My Lord’ as a way to be cheeky.
“Yeah?” he replies. “Well, your communications process is shit. Get an email address.”
“Won’t be needing any of that here,” Davenport says, as he pushes open a door.
They walk into a room that might as well be a boutique. Rows upon rows of fine garments and pieces of fabric are hung up on racks. Between them are shelves, lit up and displaying beautiful accessories of fine design and hand craftsmanship. A gorgeous chandelier illuminates everything in a twinkling glow.
“Hell yeah!” Taako exclaims. He makes a dash towards the shiniest shirt he can find. His hands snatch up a gorgeous cream colored tunic, lined at the collar and cuffs with golden thread. He also grabs a long green robe beside it, and a couple of scarves.
“Not yet,” Davenport says. “Before you change—” And he whips out a measuring tape and a cushion of pins. “Fittings first, then dress up.”
Taako pouts. “When I’m King Consort, I'm having you thrown in the dungeon.”
“You’ll be remiss to find that we do not have one of those, my lord.” Davenport says, gesturing to a small stool nearby.
Taako reluctantly sets the clothes down and walks over to stand on top of the stool. He declares, “Then my first order of business will be to have one constructed.”
“As you wish.”
Davenport makes quick work of getting Taako squared away. A few moments—and a quick dart behind a changing screen later—Taako’s dressed in a tasteful purple waistcoat, over a lilac blouse and a pair of plush, navy blue beeches. A jewel blue sash is tied around his waist, and he is given a pair of socks and black, knee high boots.
As he ties the laces, Davenport pushes the doors back open and motions for him to hurry along.
“We have to move quickly,” he urges. “There’s much to do before the rehearsal.”
“I’m coming, I’m coming,” Taako replies. He grabs a long, teal ribbon from a nearby sewing table. He uses it to tie back his hair, as Davenport hurriedly leads them to their next destination.
“So, are we going to see the king?” Taako asks. He catches a glimpse of himself in a large mirror on a nearby wall. He’s never worn clothes so nice and well fit before. He lifts his head some and runs a back through his hair. The reflection looking back at him looks almost princely. 
“Oh no,” Davenport replies. “His majesty has been very busy since you all arrived. You probably won’t see him for a few hours.”
“Oh,” Taako says. He’s not the tiniest bit disappointed. Nope. No sir.
They pass through another tunnel of glass, and a flock of birds fly above their heads. There are so many that the flapping of their wings sound like the rush of a train. Taako watches as they fly in perfect synchronicity around the castle, and it’s many clear and almost crystalline structures.
“How old is this place?” Taako asks. He raises a brow. “How old are you?”
“To answer your first question, as old as old can be,” Davenport replies. His eyes shine with something knowing and strange. “To answer your second, well...It’s rude to ask the Fair their age.”
“Does….that make the Bird King old too?” Taako asks. He’s still very curious about the ages of the people who live here, but he knows it would be a death wish to cross any boundaries of etiquette in this place.
“Ancient,” Davenport replies, like that explains anything.
“Damn,” Taako says. “About to get hitched to a grandpa here.”
“His majesty has been attending to this realm for a long time,” Davenport agrees. “He is not the first ruler here and I daren’t say he’ll be the last. But that sort of thing is best left to time.”
“Time is all I seem to have at the moment,” Taako replies.
He tunes out Davenport’s spiel about the history of the castle. His focus remains firmly on the structures around it. It’s built more like a tower, with circular chambers extending outwards from the center structure, and interconnecting with glass bridges. It’s hard to see the other chambers in the dark, but after a moment it dawns on him why their construction looks vaguely recognizable. 
“They’re built like bird cages,” Taako says, out of the blue.
“What?” Davenport says.
“Oh, nothing,” Taako says. “Just, noting the architecture.” He gestures at the sea beneath them. “Hey, uh, have you been on the water at all?”
Davenport follows Taako’s gaze down to the peaceful surface. He looks almost wistful. “Not this water. But, many waters, yes.”
Taako’s ears perk up at that. “So. You’ve travelled a few times?”
“Errands of business mostly,” Davenport replies, turning away. He’s on the move again. “Any excursions outside of our realm must be approved by the King himself.” 
“I see,” Taako says, following behind. He tries not to feel discouraged, but he’s not making much mileage in the, ‘escape the clutches of the bird king’ department. Leaving the castle wouldn’t pose much of a problem. Aside from Magnus, he hasn’t seen hide nor hair of another palace guard. But from what he can tell, the island on which they’re situated has no connective bridges to any other masses of land. And there definitely doesn’t seem to be any boats docked anywhere.
He and Davenport go a full round of exploring different chambers, with Taako only half listening to the things he says. They eventually come to an intersection in the hallway, where there are two people standing and talking. Taako’s face perks up significantly as soon as he recognizes one of them.
“Luuuuuuuuuuup,” he exclaims, hurrying towards his sister.
“Taaaaaaaaaakooooo,” she replies, her attention caught. She has also changed into nicer clothes. She wears a long red gown, which fades into brilliant orange up towards her shoulders. Her hair has been twisted into small plaits and held in place by many shimming, gold pins. A sheer scarf hangs from her arms.
“You look nice,” Taako says, as she reaches out to give him a hug. ”Loving the hair.”
“Thanks,” she replies, turning her head this way and that. “I will admit, I had a little fun.” She then gestures at the man still standing in the center of the hallway. “This is Barry, the castle’s Head Researcher. He’s been showing me around the castle’s laboratories.”
Taako takes a glance at the guy she’s referring to, and blinks in surprise. The man, Barry, is dressed pretty similarly to how they were when they first arrived. He wears a grey suit jacket over a white button up and some crisp, denim bluejeans. He looks to be at least older than Magnus, with already greying hair and smile lines to match. 
“Ah, a nerd,” Taako says, extending a hand. “Nice to meet you, Barold,”
“Nice to meet you too, um, Taako,” Barry hesitantly. The only indication that he belongs with the rest of the castle staff is the shining silver pin of a bluejay on the lapel of his jacket.
“I told him to cut the Lord and Lady nonsense before it got old,” Lup says, giving Barry a pat on the shoulder.
“Um, no? The fuck?” Taako's face scrunches up. “You're not the one becoming Bird Consort. I make the rules around here.”
“I told you it’d get to his head,” Lup says, leaning over and grinning at Barry. Barry chuckles, and Taako is immediately filled with brotherly disgust at the whole situation.
Davenport clears his throat. “If you will excuse me, I have to meet with Lucretia for rehearsal arrangements. Lunch will be served in the summer gardens. Barry, can you escort the Lord and Lady there?”
“Of course, captain,” Barry replies. He gives Davenport a salute. Davenport nods at that and hurries off.
“You call him captain?” Taako asks.
Barry nods and begins to lead the two of them towards a tunnel that slants upwards. “Davenport is in charge of the castle when the king is away. He knows how to keep everything running smoothly.”
“With the amount of magic users around, I’m not surprised,” Lup replies. She looks at her brother with excitement. “Did they tell you? Magic is used much more freely here. You don’t need a license or anything!”
“Oh word?” Taako says. He immediately casts a minor illusion spell on his clothes. Swirls of glittering sequins appear down his chest and the side of his breeches. He enjoys the look of it, twirling for Lup’s amusement. She laughs and gives him a shove.
Taako thinks about all the possibilities he has at his disposal now. In their home, mages have to be licensed to practice certain magics. It’s not a big deal, but those with a natural affinity towards it find the stipulations a lot harder than others.
“Most magic is permitted free, yes,” Barry says. “But there are spells and rituals that are absolutely banned here.”
“Right,” Lup replies. “Barry works here at the castle, but he also crosses over into our plane to work at a university.” She touches Taako’s arm and they both slow their pace a bit, following a few feet behind Barry.  Lup leans close to her brother’s ear and whispers. “He’s an expert in necromancy, but the Bird King doesn’t allow that here, which is why Barry has to travel out in order to practice it.”
“A necromancer? Him?” Taako whispers in return, pointing at Barry. Barry’s sturdy, but he definitely doesn’t look like that type to dabble in anything resembling the dark arts.
Lup nods. “Cool, right?”
Taako mentally dodges that question, focusing on the more pertinent information. “So there are easy access ways of getting out of here?”
Lup nods again, but before they continue their conversation, the trio are greeted by another wide set of double doors.
Barry pauses at the handle and turns to address them. “Hey, I know we’re going into the garden but...don’t talk to Merle about the plants.”
“What?” both twins reply. 
“The plants?” Taako asks.
“Who’s Merle?” Lup asks.
Barry opens the door without another word.
280 notes · View notes
Text
Softly and Sincerely
Barry felt it first. During a particularly challenging year, Lup caught him crying, and she softly and sincerely consoled him. And just for a moment, the professional wall between them came down, and something shone through.
Barry has always dealt with feeling "off" or "bad" for "no good reason" on his own. Lup reminds him that he's not as alone as he thinks he needs to be.
The link to read on Ao3 will be in the reblog!
-
"Oh, h-hey!"
It had been cold and hard most of their time on this plane. There weren't many civilizations on the planet, and the few they encountered were distrustful of outsiders. It had taken most of the year, but they found the Light and didn't have to fight anyone for possession of it. The whole planet had been stuck in winter since they got there and finding food had been difficult. But at last, spring had arrived.
Nothing was particularly wrong that day. Nothing was particularly wrong at all. They were still running from the Hunger. They still didn't know how to stop it. They had the Light this cycle. There was more food, more sun. Magnus and Merle had died a few months back, but the rest of the crew was relatively healthy.
So why did it feel like there was a jagged hole carved in Barry's chest? His breathing was difficult. His heart ached with each beat. The pain crept up his neck and clouded his mind, making the world outside himself a bit harder to perceive, a bit harder to deal with. But it was nothing he couldn't handle. There wasn't anything wrong with him, physically. So he needed to just... stop feeling like this.
"There's nothing wrong. Did you need something?"
Why couldn't he stop feeling like this?
The ache had crept up on him as the day wore on. He felt weighed down. He couldn't act like it, though. He didn't want anyone asking what was wrong. Because nothing was wrong. He sat through dinner, only half tasting the warm, easy soup and only listening to the conversation enough that his face showed the right reactions at the right times. 'Appear engaged without needing to devote too much of your brain to the conversation.' It was something he had perfected long ago. If he did it right, no one noticed he hadn't said a word the whole time. And he usually did it right.
"Well," Lup said, and Barry could feel the air shift. He was about to be pulled into whatever it was she was talking about, somehow. "Bluejeans here would know about that. He's a nerd. Possibly King Nerd."
"You don't need to worry about me. Heh. I'm- I'm good."
He smiled and laughed with them.
When dinner ended, Barry helped clear the table and wash the dishes. He was present. Seen. But he didn’t have to engage with anyone. If he did it right, no one would notice when he slipped off later. Be seen for a while, then retreat- that was the best way he had found to avoid being accused of "not being part of the team" or "disappearing as soon as possible" or any other such phrase. Phrases that meant he was doing something wrong when he would shut himself in his lab or bedroom with whatever distraction he found for himself. Hiding until the feeling that his skin was vibrating and his bones were turning to stone and his eyes were too weak to focus and his ears were too sharp to filter out irrelevant noise- Until all that faded. 
It was a lot of work, avoiding appearing cold or standoffish. But not as much work as dealing with people who had decided that he was those things. Not as much work as having to explain himself every time he wanted to be alone, or didn't talk enough, or was "just acting weird". Not as much work as trying to explain how he felt when he felt like this. Or why he felt like this.
"Bluejeans." The Captain waited at the entrance to the kitchen for Barry's attention.
"Yeah?" He was elbow deep in washing dishes for Lucretia to dry, but they were almost done. He hoped whatever Davenport wanted wouldn't keep him long.
"How far along is your analysis of the elemental planar distances and their possible effect on the seasons here? I know I asked you to get it to me by next weekend, but-"
But you need the report early, Barry completed in his head. "Oh. I need to copy over everything I have with some unit changes. Is- can it wait until tomorrow morning? Or do you need it tonight?"
Davenport's eyebrows rose for just a moment before a smile crossed his face. "I was about to offer you another week to complete it. I know those measurements aren't easy to get accurately, and that you're basically inventing the math behind everything." He nodded. "Good work, Bluejeans. Don't rush to get the final copy to me, but I'm excited to see what you found."
"Ah, no- not a big deal, Captain. Uh. But, thanks?"
Davenport left and Barry finished the dishes, thinking about how he should have used the right units in his calculations in the first place. It only made sense to use units that required fewer conversions along the way, no matter how much less common those units were than the ones he used in the first place.
He was so tired.
"Please just- I'm fine. I'm fine."
Why did he have to feel like this?
Somehow, somehow, he had finally escaped to his lab. He had to use one of his higher level tactics and claim to have a vague malady, like a headache, that no one could challenge to get out of hanging out with the others in the lounge. Actually, in this case, he did have a headache along with everything else. Regardless, he was in his lab, and he was alone. He reminded himself that he couldn't use those types of excuses too often, or he would face suspicion. Or concern (arguably worse than suspicion).
Some amount of time later, Barry realized he had zoned out. He should have started working on something. He should have used that time for research, or brainstorming, or going over his old notes. His notebook was right in front of him on the lab bench. Why didn't he open it when he sat down? He hadn’t even bothered to turn on the lab’s lights.
"Please..."
His mind had answers for that question. It had answers for why he felt the way he did right then, why he hadn't managed to just get over it already. Then, it had answers for him about so many other things.
He would never research fast enough or well enough to find the knowledge needed to defeat the Hunger. There was no spell he could craft or create or wield that would make a difference. The multiverse was depending on him, and he wasn't going to be enough.
He would never design an experiment that would give them an advantage. No science he could pull out of his brain would make their ship faster or the Light easier to find or the Hunger slower. He would never grasp the inner workings of the laws and mechanisms of the universe well enough to explain or deconstruct the Hunger.
And, his mind supplied, that meant that no one on the ship was safe. No one on any plane they visited was safe. Getting out of this situation was on the head science and engineering guy. He was here to protect the team from all problems short of those physical dangers their security officer handled. Barry himself was the reason no one was okay. So how could he expect to feel okay, knowing that everyone-
The click of the door snapped Barry out of his mind and back to reality. Someone was in the lab and- shit he could feel his eyes had already been welling with tears. He could not cry in front of a crewmember. He couldn't let himself cry in front of anyone.
"’Sup, Barold?" Lup stepped in and closed the door. She didn’t bother with the lights, either, using dark vision to locate the book of ancient curses she had been studying lately.
He stared hard at the ceiling and took a breath to try and steady himself enough to look calm, normal, not like he has been seconds away from crying. He turned to face the door. "Oh, h-hey!" He gripped the edge of the lab table to hide the trembling in his hands.
She squinted at him and came around the table to stand in front of him. "You okay? You seem kind of off. Something go wrong with your nerd math?"
He shrugged. He really didn’t want to deal with ‘Why are you acting so weird?’ type questions right now. The weight of the emptiness in his chest was growing. "There's nothing wrong. Did you need something?"
"You really don't look..." She placed the back of her hand on his forehead, then moved it to the side of his face. He pulled a few inches away, just enough to signal a clear 'please stop.'
"You don't need to worry about me. Heh. I'm- I'm good." Liar, his mind said. You're drowning here. You're letting everyone down. If you're good with that, then there's something even worse wrong with you.
"I'mmmmm not really much of a worrier." She crossed her arms and looked him in the eye for a moment, almost daring him to look away.
He did look away. He had to. He wasn't sure how much longer he could keep the panic out of his eyes. He didn’t want pity, he didn’t want judgement, he didn’t want to have to find a way to talk her out of feeling responsible to do anything about his own messed up thoughts and feelings and… and just all of him.
"Please just- I'm fine. I'm fine."
"Barry..."
The concern on her face. The half step she took closer to him. The hand she put on his upper arm. They hurt.
Before he could even take a breath, he was caving into that chasm in his chest, tears filling his eyes too quickly. He needed- He needed to get away. He needed her to leave. He needed not to cry in front of his coworker.
"Please..." He managed that one rough word, his head down, a hand sliding under his glasses and covering his eyes. He tensed to hold his feelings at bay just a few seconds longer. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't escape. He couldn’t breathe.
In a tone of voice he had only ever heard her use with Taako, she said, “C’mere.”
Her arms wrapped around him. He returned the hug on autopilot.
"It's okay to have bad days, Barry."
Those whispered words were enough for him to start breathing again.
"You don't have to pretend you’re okay when you’re not. Not with me. And I'll bet you none of the others would want that, either."
He squeezed his eyes shut and dropped his forehead to her shoulder.
"You don't have to hide like this."
He was fighting, still fighting to steady his breathing, to control the shaking in his arms, to hold onto the ache in his throat and head and eyes because the second he stopped fighting-
"We all love you."
He didn't know why those words cleared away all the tension and need for control and fear of judgement within him.
He didn't know why he was feeling those things in the first place.
But for the first time in years- longer than he'd been on The Starblaster, that was for sure-
Barry opened up, just the smallest bit, the part of himself that ached and screamed and couldn't let him rest.
And he let someone else see. He let someone else in. He gave in and cried.
Lup’s kind words continued as if his tears and trembling and quiet wimpers were no big deal. One of her hands rubbed his shoulder the whole time. What felt like hours, but was probably minutes later, when Barry was capable of feeling anything other than the anxious, grieving, homesick, terrified, exhausted feelings flowing out with his tears, he found his breathing syncing with the slow brush of her hand.
A moment fell over the lab where the only sounds were their breathing and the hum of the Bond Engine, the two of them still holding on to each other.
"How are you doing?" she whispered.
Barry released her and straightened himself on the lab stool. He took a moment to run his robe sleeve over his face and look for his glasses. (He didn’t remember when his glasses had come off, but he knew Lup must have done it, because they sat neatly facing him with the arms folded up, instead of unfolded and probably upside down a bit too close to the edge of the table, the way he usually put them down.)
“I’m uh…” He felt… numb. Light. Not “better” necessarily, the chasm in his chest was still there. But the rough edges had been smoothed, and maybe it was a few inches shallower. “I’m okay, now.” He took the box of tissues Lup held out to him, pulling a few to clean his face properly. “For real now, though. Not just, uh-”
“Not just lying to get rid of me?” She leaned against the table and plucked a tissue from the box to dab at the shoulder of her robe.
He winced, both from being called out, and at seeing what his facial secretions had done. “Oh, geez, sorry about-”
“Nope!” She cut him off. “It’s all good. Just part of what happens, y’know?”
He hummed in response. “Yeah, I guess so.” He cleaned his glasses and put them back on. They made him aware of just how puffy his face felt.
“So…” Lup tapped her fingers against the counter. “What now? Do you wanna talk about it? Do you want me to act like the last few minutes never happened? I can make hot chocolate. I know a recipe that doesn’t use milk but still tastes good. Or, I know we don’t have multiverse-champion-cuddler Magnus, but I could probably initiate a pretty decent cuddle pile with everyone.”
What did he want?
“I think, uh.” He really just wanted to read until he fell asleep. “Not that those don’t sound pretty good- like, I’m definitely gonna take you up on that hot chocolate the next time we end up somewhere cold- but I think I’m just gonna hit the hay.”
“Yeah, I get that. Cha’girl usually drinks enough water to get rid of the post-crying headache and then… Well, then I usually make Taako talk to me until I’m asleep.” She headed to the door.
“Water, right,” he muttered to himself, rubbing at the ache behind his forehead.
“Hey, Barry?” she said. He looked up. “We’re not here alone, you know?”
He nodded, smiling a bit. “I think I’m getting that, yeah.”
“I meant what I said. It’s okay to have bad days. And it’s okay to need people.”
He didn’t know what to say to that, so he didn’t.
She turned and walked out the door, giving him a quick wave without looking back, raising the hand holding her book over her head. “Keep your chin up, nerd.”
He marveled that he was laughing after the day he’d had. The lab door swung shut behind Lup.
That was the first time Lup called him a nerd without it feeling like a barb.
In fact, maybe this time, he even liked it.
Something changed that day. Many somethings, perhaps. But to Barry, that would always be the moment he knew.
He would love her forever.
It was an inevitability.
27 notes · View notes
comradelup · 4 years
Text
Julia would never describe death as enlightening. Quite the opposite, actually. Maybe… endarkening…. Point is, she never knew death until she died.
She opens her eyes on the shore of the astral sea. She feels bruised all over, and half her mind is still fast asleep. Groggy. That’s the word for it.
The sunless grey sky is above her, and the sound of lapping waves fill her ears. Sand surrounds her on the ground, and it’s almost comfortable, even if it may be getting in her hair. She doesn’t want to move, so she doesn’t.
A weird sense of familiarity washes over her as lazy as the waves. She’s been here before, right? Or perhaps she’s seen one too many friends and comrades die for death to be confusing and scary. Her most likely theory is that The Raven Queen does this to people to ease them into death after trauma.
She recalls the events before her death. Kalen returned with vengeance to blow up Raven’s Roost. She bets he was bitter about his loss and decided to erase any memory of his weakness. Well, he got his revenge. Julia tried to get as many people as she could out, but a whole building fell on her as a result. One of the two leaders of the revolution is dead. She’s only happy he didn’t get Magnus.
Magnus… she remembers him. A cheerful carpenter, a loving husband, a great crewmate.
Wait. What?
The memories trickle into her mind like a summer creek. The two of them in flowing red robes, standing somewhere up high. On the deck of some ship, but on land. Above land.
The Starblaster.
There were others too. Beautiful twin elves, a plain-looking human, a crunchy dwarf, a wallflower of a human, and a gnome captain. Their names hit her like arrows to the chest.
Taako. Lup. Barry. Merle. Lucretia. Davenport.
It comes back faster now. The flow quickens. The eight of them, on the Starblaster, on an endless mission. Images flash in her mind. Good times, bad times, laughter, love, screaming, crying. Life and death alike.
They were running from something, running to something else. But… what?
At least she knows why death is familiar. She’s died before. An explosion, an accidental poisoning, turning to a statue… death is an old friend in a way. She remembers her friends dying too. The four judges killing everyone but Lucretia. That time everyone but her, Lup, and Lucretia died so it was months of girls’ nights. One year the twins died and everyone else tried to cook like them but couldn’t, because who can cook like the twins?
These memories don’t quite feel like her own. She’s missing something. Lup and Barry trying to understand the chemical makeup of the Light of Creation. Merle dying so many times talking to John. Magnus died in the first cycle at the hands of The Hunger.
A weak groan escapes her and she closes her eyes. This is giving her a headache, trying to think through the static. Static… static…
Fischer! Her eyes snap open, arm frozen halfway to rubbing her temple. Death really is enlightening, the voidfish’s power doesn’t work on the dead. Somehow she forgot everything, or at least everything in Lucretia’s journals.
Oh, poor Lucretia. Now that it’s coming back to her, she remembers Lucretia bringing her and Magnus to Raven’s Roost, trying to hide her tears. She told them, this is where you’ve lived your whole lives, it’s not much, but it’s home. Julia retroactively corrects that no, the Starblaster is home, Lucretia is home, along with the rest of the crew. Lucretia must have erased their memories of their mission, but Julia can’t quite remember why. She can’t bring herself to be truly angry though; she loves Lucretia too much to be.
She starts to remember more recent details too. Lup… Lup went missing. She’s nowhere to be found, even with Barry and Taako’s rigorous searching. She went missing after the eight of them made the… the… the Grand Relics.
The dam breaks, and she knows everything— the Light of Creation, The Hunger, oh stars.
She lets her arm fall and stares up, letting all the sadness show on her face. The world might end, and no one else but a dead woman will know how to stop it. Not even, right? All she knows how to do is run away. This plane will be consumed and feasted upon until there’s nothing left, and she’ll be destroyed right with everyone el—
“Um, Julia?”
Julia cranes her head back towards the sound of the voice. Upside down, she sees a pair of fancy shoes and the hem of fancy slacks. They step closer and Julia looks up at the sky again as a face comes into view.
“You’re Julia Burnsides, right? Are you okay?” the man asks, and he’s handsome. Not the same rustic and warm handsomeness of Magnus, but a sharp, well dressed handsome. It isn’t her thing, but it’s hard to not admit that this guy is a looker. His long dreadlocks are pulled back in a half up half down style, and some of them fall over his shoulder as he looks down at her.
“I’m Julia,” she says, and her voice is raw. She coughs into her hand and he looks sympathetic. “Who’re you?”
“I’m Kravitz. Let me help you up.” He holds out a hand, and she takes it. It’s cold as shit but she doesn’t comment on it as he helps her stand.
Her body doesn’t like being vertical apparently. She now knows her bruises are the incorporeal equal of the injuries sustained from her death, and they make all movement painful. She wobbles a bit when on two feet and balances herself on Kravitz’s steady hand.
“Thanks,” she mutters through the pain, because her parents didn’t raise a rude girl.
“Of course,” Kravitz says, taking his hand back and using both hands to hold onto a sharp scythe taller than him. It’s actually about Julia’s height, as she stands a good few inches above him.
“There’s a bit of… an issue here,” he continues, “When a person dies, they either go into the astral sea or the eternal stockade. Or, in special cases, to the Raven Queen herself to discuss joining her retinue. You shouldn’t have ended up here.”
He’s saying a lot of words at once. Her head’s still swimming. She feels dizzy. Remembering a century all at once after a falling building killed you is… tough to handle all at once. And it's not the position she should be in when discussing… what was it? Death crimes? He mentioned a stockade, right?
“I… I should…” She brings a hand to her head and rubs the part of her temple that isn’t super bruised.
“You don’t look good, here.” Julia’s staring at the ground, blinking and trying not to sway, so she doesn’t see what he does. She hears fabric ripping, and he puts a cold hand on her shoulder.
“Step right through here,” he says, voice quiet. He seems tuned in to her headache and is accommodating, for which she's thankful.
She follows his direction, through a portal of sorts. One second she’s on a beach, the next she’s in a throne room, four stories tall. The floors and walls are black marble with an iridescent sheen to them. The far left wall is floor to ceiling windows, showing off the astral sea. It's beautiful, swirling rainbow waters with millions of lights floating above the surface. The sky is grey, but not like it’s covered by clouds, it’s naturally grey. Not a sun or cloud to be seen. In the window sills are ravens, hopping around or snoozing or watching her. All of them are silent in the presence of their queen.
The Raven Queen is hard to perceive. She is in the back of the room, on a large throne. Shadows cover that end of the room, so she can’t see the queen’s face. She does know she’s huge, though. Tens of feet tall, Julia guesses she’d be almost as tall as the throne room if she wasn’t sitting. She’s wearing an impeccable dark suit glittering with gold accents and jewelry. There are rings on her gloved fingers and bracelets on her wrists, and her hands sit on the arms of the throne. One leg is crossed over the other, letting a dark flowing cape pool at one foot.
In her presence, Kravitz kneels. Following, Julia does the same. He says, “My Queen, I found Julia Burnsides on the shore of the astral sea, disoriented and in pain. I don’t know what her soul’s fate is, so I come to you for guidance.”
Julia stays quiet, looking at the floor. She can kind of see her reflection, and sees that her face isn’t as beat up as it feels. In fact, it’s completely free of injury. She’s also wearing her IPRE robe. Huh.
After a moment of silence, The Raven Queen speaks. “Julia Burnsides, you have died twenty-two times, including your most recent death.”
Julia looks up to the queen and sees Kravitz staring at her bewildered out of the corner of her eye. She can’t see the queen’s expression, but her voice makes her sound accusatory. So Julia nods, unsure of what else to say.
“Yet… you have entered the Astral Plane every time. You also never escaped the plane. That is an anomaly.”
“I can explain, your majesty.” Julia remembers other Astral Planes too, with the occasional alternate death deities. At least in this plane, it’s The Raven Queen and not that other one, The King of Death and Insects. She hates bugs.
“Please do.” The queen waves a hand, and two armchairs appear, with a coffee table in front of them. Julia takes the silent invitation and moves to sit down in one. Two mugs of tea appear and she takes one. What's most strange is Kravitz seems more confused than her as he does the same. Julia must be a real edge case.
She takes a sip of tea and feels the warmth travel down her throat into her stomach, then spread to her whole body. It seeps away the pain and clears her head, making her sigh in relief and relax into her seat.
“Now,” The Raven Queen says, “explain your deaths.” She holds up a palm in her direction and pushes it towards her. Julia feels a breeze blow past her as a Zone of Truth appears around her. Admittedly, she’s developed a familiarity with it thanks to Merle, but she lets the spell affect her this time. She has no reason to lie to a queen.
“I… I don’t know where to start,” Julia says. If only she had Lucretia’s journals and could read them to the queen. “Do you know about the multiverse theory?”
She goes on to explain everything from the beginning. Where she's really from, the Light of Creation landing on her home plane, and the original mission of the IPRE. The Hunger and how it interrupted this mission, the cycles that brought her and her family from the dead. She even explains that this is the first death where she wasn’t put into the astral sea. (Except for that one time she and Barry ended up in that plane’s stockade, though. It was only an experiment gone wrong, after all, so why include it?)
All of this is new information for The Raven Queen and Kravitz, but it feels new to Julia too. For some of the details she says them without thinking and then reflects on them. Taako made a fake Light of Creation? Oh right, he did!
After she’s done explaining, she sits back, taking a big sip of her tea. Her cup never seems to empty and for that, she’s glad, because every sip brings back that warm feeling in this cold, dead plane.
Kravitz looks bewildered and intrigued by the story, but also says nothing. The Raven Queen is quietly contemplative for a moment, then says, “Those relics are causing a lot of death. You created them?”
Julia flushes. “Yes, your majesty, but we didn’t mean to cause wars. The Light of Creation needs to be needed, so we tried to make intriguing objects. They ended up using the people wielding them instead of the other way around.” She looks down into her lap, staring at the tea swirling in the mug. Voice low, she adds, “We would never do that to so many innocent people.”
She can tell she brought down the mood of the room, evidenced by Kravitz’s kind of awkward look as he clearly doesn’t know how to make her feel better. She can’t bring herself to care though. Maybe ignorance really is blissful, she was happiest she’s been in decades when all she knew was Raven’s Roost.
“Things like this are rarely intentional,” The Raven Queen says, her tone somber. “These objects, they are an affront to the nature of life and death. They are an insult to my domain.”
“You’re really good at cheering people up, you know that?” Julia deadpans, apathetically staring at her drink. Kravitz stares at her with wide eyes.
“I am saying this to ask: can you stop these objects from killing people?” The Raven Queen asks.
“I… imagine that we could. We’ve handled the Light so much that we are more or less immune to it’s craveability.”
“I’m sorry, ‘craveability?’” Kravtiz interjects. Julia nods, sipping her tea.
“So your living crewmates could put an end to these wars?” The Raven Queen asks.
“They’re the only ones who can,” Julia says.
The Raven Queen is silent for another moment. Then, “Until all Grand Relics are collected and disposed of, your family’s bounties will be called off.”
Julia sighs, relieved, and sags into her seat. Then sits back up. “But what will happen to me?”
“You cannot influence the Prime Material Plane anymore. You have the option of joining the astral sea, or lessening your family’s sentence by serving time yourself.”
“But their deaths are like mine. They didn’t escape the Astral Planes willingly and you technically can’t punish them.”
Kravitz looks at her like she’s walking into a volcano and expecting to live. She gets it, she knows she’s talking back to a goddess, but she doesn’t care.
“Lup Hallwinter and Sildar Hallwinter are liches, and they will be punished accordingly.”
“Just call them— ugh—” Julia huffs a sigh and sags into her chair in frustration. She puts her cup down and says, “They did it ethically, for the greater good. Lup and Barry were able to do so much good without death to stop them!”
“There is a reason death stops them. Everyone thinks they have a good reason to cross me.”
“You wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for them!” Julia shouts, standing. Kravitz stands too, scythe at the ready. Julia pays him no mind, pointing a finger at the queen. “You OWE them!”
The air is still. Kravitz is ready to strike at the queen’s order. Julia doesn’t give a shit. Goddess or not, she can’t act like she knows Barry and Lup enough to just declare their fates. Other liches? Yeah, they’re almost always corrupt and selfish, but what Lup and Barry did is selfless if anything.
“There is no point in arguing. Make your choice.”
Julia raises her chin defiantly. The same look she’s given corrupt warlords and wealthy industrialists, the look she’d give John if she met him rather than Merle. The queen is unmoving and Julia knows her effort is futile, at least now. She crosses her arms. “I’ll serve their sentence.”
“It’s decided then. Julia Burnsides, you will begin training as a Reaper, serving the sentences of Lup and Sildar Hallwinter. Reaper Kravitz, you will train her."
28 notes · View notes
queertazsecretsanta · 4 years
Text
A gift for @nekosd43, created by @all-made-of-stardust!
You gave me a great challenge, as I've never written Taagnus before!  I actually really enjoyed writing it, and I hope you enjoy reading it!  Happy Candlenights!
The dish that Magnus crafted is based on this recipe I found online: https://damndelicious.net/2015/01/30/bacon-ranch-cheese-ball/
~~
Oddly enough, it was Davenport who suggested the Secret Star King.
This cycle was by far not the first one where they’d celebrated Candlenights alone on the Starblaster, decorating a bush Merle had cultivated the months before, singing a few songs, and enjoying each others company.  But up until now any gifts they exchanged were small, and somewhat superficial, as at that point being with each other mattered more than any material goods.
That ideal still stood when they arrived on Loven, a softer tranquil farming world filled with kind people and quiet nights.  The Light had landed in the mountains to the east, and upon a short journey over and up, the crew found a small colony of monks living cozily in the cold.  They were surprised to see strangers, but quite friendly.  And after Davenport did some quick negotiations, they happily produced the Light, with no argument.  The crew was ecstatic.
“Please,” one of the monks said.  “You seem like decent people.  Will you stay in our world for Candlenights?”
The whole crew fell silent.
“Candlenights?” Davenport asked, not wanting to misunderstand.
“It’s this world’s holiday festival.  We’d be delighted if you would join us.”
Someone else celebrated Candlenights.
“We’d be happy to,” Davenport answered.
So here they were, a few days later, gathered in the city hall of one of the larger cities in the world (though it really wasn’t that populated).  Around them, many people worked to decorate with festive fun, while the crew drank Fantasy Eggnog and relaxed.
“I’ve been thinking,” Davenport announced.  “If we’re going to be here during proper Candlenights, we should celebrate it properly too.”
“What do you mean?” Lucretia said, taking a sip of her eggnog.  It left a layer of nutmeg on her lip.
“We have a whole world to explore.  Why not try and come up with an interesting gift to a random person?”
He grinned.
“Why not a Secret Star King?”
Taako, who up until this point had been lazing back, relishing the breeziness that the mission had underwent, jolted forward with a start.
“Random person, did you say?” he asked.  He wasn’t sure he much cared for the idea.  On one hand, he could get Lup, and that’d be easy.  He could get Barry, or Lucretia, and it would be challenging, but interesting.
Or he could get Magnus.  And that was a problem.
Magnus, who had been sitting forward eagerly, tried his best not to shrink back at the idea.  He’d know what to get Merle, or Davenport.  Hell, he’d most definitely know what to get Lup.
Or he could pull Taako's name.  And that was a problem.
*****
Davenport seemed to be set in his decision, and not thirty minutes later he returned to the table with his captain’s hat upturned in his hand.
“Go on!” he goaded, smiling.
Taako hesitated.
“What if we get our own name?” he joked, stalling for time as the others reached in.  “We pamper ourselves?”
Davenport shook his head.
“You simply redraw.”
“I was afraid of that,” Taako muttered as he pulled a card. He peeked at it through barely closed eyes.
Magnus.
Damnit.
He glanced over at Magnus, who was staring at his own card. The man had a damn good poker face. He had a good face in general, actually.
Magnus looked up, caught him staring, and flashed him a toothy grin.
"I know what I'm doing!" he declared.
Taako had half a mind to get Merle to cast Zone of Truth.
Instead, he retreated to another room, closed the door, and slid to the floor. He clutched the card tightly between his fingers, rereading the name over and over again, like it would disappear if he tried hard enough.
Magnus.
The name itself was evocative of the man it belonged to. Bold, strong, courageous, fearless. Taako remembered when he first saw him - the goofus was taking bets on how much beer he could chug before finally being beaten in a fight. A lot of beer, apparently, because even when he was swaying on his feet he held his own and knocked the lights out of the other guy - a bully, Taako knew, which made him endeared to Magnus in a way he couldn't quite describe. And it wasn't the brute strength, the high constitution modifier, or even his muscles (though the muscles were a nice bonus) that made Taako do a double take. It was his bravado - the fact that he stood up to a bad guy, and won. It was something Taako would never be able to do. Lup, maybe. Definitely. But not Taako. No, Taako wasn't worth much in a fight, and he wasn't worth much in Magnus' eyes either. He was an idiot wizard who conjured party tricks. Magnus deserved someone leagues better. Courage and strong will. Hospitality - now that was something Taako never seemed to be able to give.
But he'd be damned if he didn't make the perfect gift for Magnus. The big guy deserved that much at least.
Besides - maybe this would be a chance to show Magnus how he felt. He sure as hell wasn't going to say it in words. Maybe not a confession - a simple gesture would suffice. He knew he would never gain anything from it anyway.
*****
Magnus found a quiet corner by a fireplace, and he sat down heavily on a chair. He looked at the paper once more and sighed, running a hand down his face.
Taako.
The name had always meant warm feelings for Magnus.  Watching the wizard practice his spells like they were nothing. Watching him laugh and joke with Lup, watching him love. Magnus knew Taako was capable of far more than the elf ever gave himself credit for, and Magnus had always supported him.
Said support had landed him squarely in the friendzone, and he didn't mind it - it meant he could still be close. Still be with him. Gods knew Taako wasn't going to go for someone like him. He deserved finesse. Beauty. Someone who could love him.  Like Magnus did.
He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. It had been this way for cycles now, he had lost track. But now, he held a potential key to everything. Maybe Taako would never reciprocate anything. Magnus was fine with that. But maybe he could make something that made Taako happy. That showed him what he meant to him. He wasn't going to get anything out of it but a nice smile, but gods that smile would be nice.
****
This plane was built around sturdy buildings that weathered many a storm.  So Taako knew he could find somewhere with the right tools to make the perfect gift.
He had decided on creating a model version of the Starblaster.  And he refused to use transmutation to do it - no, this was going to be done by hand, and it was going to be done right.
Problem was, he didn't know how to do it.
In the main town where they had settled, Taako asked around and found a carpenter named Rosemary, who had built several of the town’s homes and had contributed to the architecture of the city hall.  Magnus would like her, and she seemed very eager to please.
She gave him a place to work, all the tools and supplies he could imagine.
“If you need anything, just holler!” she said, before shutting the door and leaving him to it.  He looked down at the workbench.
Fuck.
He had no idea where to start.
*****
The food served here was warm, hearty, and delicious, made from the freshest ingredients and by the best of hands.  So immediately Magnus knew what he was going to give Taako.
He asked around and found a chef named Bill, a kind man, who was willing to lend out his kitchen to Magnus and provide food to cook with.
“Anything for a lover’s gift!” he said with a wink.
“No, it’s not - ” But he was already gone.  Magnus sighed and looked around at the kitchen.  An oven, a fantasy fridge, a knife block, cutting boards - everything he needed.
Shit.
He had no idea where to start.
*****
The Secret Star King swap was about a week away, but to Taako it might as well have been tomorrow.  He cut wood, sanded it down, measured twice, cut once, and at the end of the day found himself with a broken piece of oak and a dowel that was way too big.
He was sighing into his hands, ready to try again, when he felt a hand on his shoulder.
“Not going well, Ko?”
He turned to find Lup, observing his disheveled attempts.
“What are you doing here?” he asked.  “Shouldn’t you be working on your own gift?”
She waved a hand.
“Oh, mine’s simple.”
“Who’d you get?”
“Now, do you think I would tell you that?  What if I got your name, hmm?”
Taako rolled his eyes.
“Let’s hope you got something good for me then.”
He turned back to his monstrosity and let out a long breath.
“Gods know I’m not doing so hot.”
“Magnus?”
Taako tensed, then just as quickly let it go.  Figures she would guess it in one - she wasn’t an idiot.
“Yeah,” he admitted.  “Stupid thing won’t piece together, though.”
“You know you could easily use magic, right?”
“Yeah, thanks, I didn’t know that,” he said, sarcasm dripping.
“So why the extra effort?” Lup asked innocently.
“I, uh - ”  He stammered.  “Just wanna make something nice for him, y’know?”
Lup was standing with a hand on her hip, judging him.
“Uh-huh.”
“He, uh - ” Fuck.  “He..he deserves it.”
Lup shook her head, clucking her tongue.
“Oh, you’ve got it bad,” she chuckled.
Taako blanched.
“No!” he protested.  “No, it’s just a gift, I don’t want - I never - ”
“Taako?  My sweet brother whom I love very much?”
Taako gulped.
“Yeah?”
Lup reached out and placed a firm hand on his shoulder.
“Don’t lie to me, kay?”
It was a downright threat, and Taako stared at the floor, laughing nervously.
“Yeah, okay, find, maybe I do love the huggable idiot,” he admitted under his breath.  “But you can’t tell anyone, you got that?  Especially not Lucy, gods I can’t have her writing this shit in her books.”
Lup smirked.
“Your secret’s safe with me.”  She tightened her grip.  “If you tell him at the gift swap.”
Taako tried to reel back, but her grip was like a vice.
“Lup, you know I can’t - ”
“Hmm, then I guess I can tell Davenport to call the whole thing off.  No more Candlenights, because my dork of a brother refused to confess to his - ”
“Lulu, please.”
“ - and gods know the others would be heartbroken and - ”
“Okay, okay, fine!”
She was still smirking, but she loosened her grip and stepped back.
“That’s better.”
Taako massaged his shoulder where her fingers had dug into his skin.
“You’re a right piece of work, you know that sis?”
She grinned.
“I know.”
And she walked out of the room.
*****
Magnus didn’t cook.
Sure, he knew basic meals, picked up on a few things from Taako.  But he didn’t have the same touch Taako always carried.  Give him a wild rabbit to skin and stick in stew any day.  But the dishes Taako made were more than boring old stew.  And Taako deserved more than just stew.
He didn’t think it could be that hard.  Lup did it all the time, and she wasn’t a transmutation specialist.  She had just learned from the best - why couldn’t Magnus do the same?
He experimented around with ingredients.  Got some prime cuts of beef and lamb from the farmers outside the main city.  Spices he borrow from a few kind merchants - they were new and alien, but he figured they couldn’t be that far from those that Taako usually cooked with.  Mashed potatoes - now that he could do.
He thought.
Not wanting to officially cook the dish until the day of the gift swap, Magnus attempted smaller micro-dishes - taste samplers.  His first attempt had gone...sour was the literal phrase. He didn’t know what he’d done wrong.  Second attempt wielded a sad lumpy mess of limp carrots and overly-salted potatoes.
He was in the middle of trying something else - grilling lamb cuts - when Lup popped her head into the kitchen, startling Magnus.  He accidentally knocked the lamb into the fire, and he scrambled to turn off the heat in time.
Lup laughed as he recovered the now charred remains of the lamb.  It was a moot point anyway - the meat had been dull, grey, and dry from the start.
“Not going well?” Lup asked, looking over his large shoulder.
Magnus sighed.
“You two always make it look so easy!” he complained.
Lup patted him sympathetically.
“Didn’t know this is what you wanted to do with the cycle.  I thought you’d be out exploring the plane with Davenport.”
“It’s not for the cycle.  It’s for Candlenights.”
Lup raised her eyebrows.
“Oh?” She stepped around him, sniffing at the meat.  “So you got Taako’s name?”
Magnus looked shocked.
“N - no!  I mean - this could be for anybody!  Lucretia likes lamb, doesn’t she, maybe it’s for her!”
“Mmm-hmm.”  She picked up a carrot, examining it.  “You know, this is an awful lot of effort for just a silly old gift.  Why not just make him rabbit stew?  You know we all love that.”
Magnus shifted slightly, staring at the counter and fiddling with the burner controls.
“I think - well, assuming it is Taako, which I’m not saying it is - I think he, uh...deserves something better than rabbit stew, y’know?”
Lup’s eyes widened slowly, and a smile crept onto her face.
“Oh.  Oh, Magnus.”
“What?”
“Nothing!” she said, so quickly Magnus almost didn’t recognize the coyness in her tone.  She stepped around the counter, tracing her fingers along the ingredients he’d picked out.  She picked up a spare clove of garlic and twirled it expertly in her hand.
“He likes bacon,” she hinted.  “Just in case it is his name that you got.”
She waltzed out of the room, tossing the garlic over her shoulder.  Magnus caught it awkwardly, and stared back down at the stovetop.
******
It was two days until the gift swap, and things were not going well.
Taako had struggled to bite down the magic in his fingers, and he'd earned several splinters and a sore thumb from missing the nail with the hammer. He was gonna do this right goddamnit.
But all he had managed to do was carve some maple in the rough form of a ship. He had hacked away at it to make the interior hollow, and he wasn't even close to the proper shape. In fact, it looked somehow worse than the Starblaster had on the bad cycles, where it had taken some hits.
As he attempted to shear the top of the hull, the knife slipped, and he cut a deep gash in his finger.
"Ow, ow, fuck, stupid piece of -"
"You okay?"
He looked up, still clutching his bleeding finger. Magnus was standing in the doorway, looking concerned.
"Hey, big guy!!" Taako flung out his body, trying to cover the table behind him. The blood speckled the canvas cloth underneath. "Yeah, I'm fine, nothing to -"
Magnus was already running over to him, grabbing his hurt hand and gently bringing it up to him.
"What happened? Slip the blade?" he asked, already pulling out a spare bandage because of course he had spare bandages in his pockets, Merle wasn't always around to heal everything, and Magnus never wanted to see anyone hurt. The thought made Taako's heart swell a bit.
"Yeah, yeah," he admitted. "I'm fine though, really, I'm -"
He hissed sharply as Magnus tugged the bandage taught. Okay, maybe it was a bit worse than he thought. But Magnus was taking care of it. Like he always took care of everyone. Of Taako.
"Thanks," Taako said quietly.
"Of course!" Of course.  "Lup sent me over here to check on ya. So, what are you working on?"
He looked over Taako's shoulder and spotted the shitty wooden ship.
"Oh, cool!" Magnus declared, picking it up. "You're making Davenport the Starblaster?"
Taako let out a breath. He was gonna kill his sister.
"Yeah, totally making it for him!" Taako lied through his teeth.
"Having a shit time with it too," he murmured.
"You want me to show you some tips?"
Taako almost laughed. Yeah, have Magnus teach Taako how to make his own gift.
He shrugged. "Why not?"
He stepped forward while Magnus smiled at him, eager as ever. Taako's heart skipped a little at his dopey grin.
"Okay, so first off, you need to sand down the wood before you even start carving it, otherwise the blade will get caught in the bark."
Taako picked up the wood and the tools, ready to try again. He followed what Magnus was saying, smiling slightly.
"Alright, now you've gotta use the big chisel to carve away the big bits."
Taako looked down. There were several tools, all looking like chisels, all similar sizes.
He picked one up.
"No, the other one."
Another.
"The other one."
He moved to pick one up, and suddenly Magnus' hand was on his, guiding him to the right one.
"That one," he said softly.
Taako realized Magnus was standing right behind him, almost embracing him, his tall figure a good foot higher than Taako's. He led Taako's hand firmly but gently over to the wood and showed him how to knock away the excess pieces. His hands cupped Taako's, occasionally squeezing down, helping him with the finer details. Magnus' words continued above him, spouting instructions, but Taako was content to just listen to his deep voice. He found himself leaning backwards, ever so slightly, into Magnus' tall frame, and he closed his eyes, just for a second, breathing him in. Imagining if this could be real.
"Taako, are you -"
Magnus stiffened, aware of where Taako was, and Taako backpedaled, pushing himself up and away, but he was caught between the table and Magnus' arms. He spun, extricating his hands and holding them close to his chest as he stared up at Magnus. He was staring right back, so close. Taako could feel his breath, almost taste his lips.
Magnus was the first one to snap out of it, shoving himself backwards, blinking hard.
"Yeah, so, does that help?" he asked, his voice even. Of course it was. Nothing phased Magnus, not even his best friend making bedroom eyes at him after he practically spooned him.
"Yeah, my man, thanks for the tips!" Taako said, his voice squeaking slightly. Damnit, pull yourself together.
"Welcome." Magnus offered a smile. "Can't wait to see the final product, I bet Dav's gonna love it!"
He turned and left before Taako could get in another word, leaving Taako in a lurch. Why did he do that, what the hell was he thinking. He's not interested. He doesn't want you.
He sucked in a breath. He was going to absolutely murder his sister.
******
Taako stormed into his bedroom, but Lup was already there, leaning back on her bunk and reading a book.
"How'd it go?" she purred.
"You absolute bastard," he grumbled. "That was all your idea!"
"I have no idea what you're talking about," she said, putting the book down and examining her nails. "I just figured you needed some help, you poor thing."
Taako fumed, sitting with a dramatic thump onto his own bunk.
"You're just trying to torture me," he groaned. "Your own brother!"
"I don't see what's wrong with having Magnus help you with your present. He doesn't need to know it's for him."
Taako pointed an accusatory finger at her.
"You know very well that's not what I'm upset about."
Lup smirked.
"I told you you needed to confess by the Secret Star King. I was just... speeding up the process."
"Making things worse is what you did."
He sighed and fell back onto his pillow, a hand to his forehead. He saw Lup roll her eyes.
"Tell you what," she offered, sliding off her bunk to kneel next to his. "I know for a fact that Magnus needs help with his gift."
"What's he doing, baking a pie for Lucretia or something?"
"Something like that."
Taako sat up.
"Sis, I was joking."
"And I'm not. He's struggling so much with the cooking and I know you wouldn't want to poison poor Lucretia…"
Taako shook his head, laughing.
"Man, we are all out of our league, aren't we?"
"Well I'm not," Lup said, beaming. "I'm having a fantastic time with my gift. But you two idiots could use some help."
She stood and returned to her book.
"Just don't go fainting into the oven, alright?"
Taako grabbed his best hat and stuck his tongue out at her. She replied in turn, then buried her head in her book again.
****
Magnus was burning the food. The smoke was very quickly filling the whole room, and he was coughing, trying to figure out what was going wrong. He struggled for the off switch on the stove, and he didn't notice Taako until he dove for it, before swiftly covering the charred mess in the pan with its lid. He panted, then looked over at Magnus, who was slumped against a bar stool, still coughing somewhat.
Damnit. You were so close and now he's here, witness to your failure.
"Hey, Taako," he said weakly, as the elf tried to wave most of the smoke out the window. "Lup send you?"
"My sister was under the impression that you needed some help."
He eyed the disaster on the stove and scooped it up, taking it to the open air to cool off. Magnus was still upset, but he pulled himself up quickly. He couldn't let Taako see him like this.
“Yeah, well, I mean - ” he stammered, staring down at the food.  Not at Taako.
“Listen, my man, it takes some practice.  But it’s pretty simple once you get the hang of it.”
“Easy for you to say,” Magnus sighed as he sank down into his seat.  “Here I am, trying to make the perfect dish, and you - ”
“Perfect dish?  For Lucretia?”
Magnus gaze shot up to Taako.  Oh thank fuck, Lup must have bought the lie after all.
“Maggie, you know that woman will eat anything you make her, she loves your stuff.”
“I know!” Magnus said carefully.  “I just...wanted her to have something nicer.”
“Hmm,” Taako mused as he examined the remains of the mess in his hands.  “Was this bacon?”
Shit.
“Um, it was?  I was trying something out with cheese, and...”
He gestured to the wreck.  Taako smirked before dumping the whole thing into the garbage.
“Okay, if you’re going to be working with cheese, like making it fancy, you can’t just melt it over any old pan.”
He cleared a space on the counter and opened the fantasy fridge behind him, peering inside.
“What sort of flavors were you thinking?” he asked as he rummaged around.
Magnus tried to come up with something that wouldn’t clue Taako into the ruse.
“Uh...barebeque?”
Taako slammed the door and turned, glaring at him.
“Magnus, I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that.”
He dropped a block of cream cheese into Magnus’ stunned hands.
“It’s simple – whip this up with a bit of cheddar and...”
He perused the shelves before grabbing a bottle and tossing it to Magnus.  He caught it awkwardly, still staring at Taako.
“Worcestershire.”
“I, um...” Magnus examined the bottle.  “How do you pronounce this again?”
Taako laughed.
“Look, Magnus, I can’t hold your hand through this.  So I’m giving you a head start.  Fly free little bird.  Can’t wait to see if Lucy likes it.”
Magnus took him in.  He was leaning casually on the counter, smiling, but his foot was tapping in the nervous tick Magnus knew meant he was nervous.  He shouldn’t know that, it meant Taako had become everything in his mind, but that was the truth.  He knew Taako better than the elf probably thought he did, and all he wanted to do was prove to him that he could give him something amazing.  Something incredible and delicious.
His fingers tightened on the bottle.  If Taako said it would taste good, he would make it.
“Alright, Taako.  Thanks.”
“No problem, kemosabe, any time.”
His foot was still tapping, and Magnus looked at him curiously.  Taako didn’t have any reason to be nervous.  He always knew his way around the kitchen.
“I’ll try it out today.”  Magnus turned back to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of ranch dressing.  “What about this?”
Taako’s eyes widened and he made a small noise that Magnus couldn’t really get a read on.
“Maggie, that’s up to you to decide.”
He pushed himself up, and now his fingers were tapping the same rhythm.  Magnus just didn’t get it.  He put the bottle down gently as Taako backed out of the room.
“Good luck!”
He was gone before Magnus could respond.  He stared down at the ingredients in his hands.
He didn’t think Taako had actually given him any cooking tips.
******
Taako sucked in a deep breath the moment he left the kitchen.  What the hell was he thinking, giving Magnus the stuff to make one of his favorite dishes?  And why in the ever loving fuck did Magnus know exactly what ingredient (the stupid ranch dressing) would make the whole thing perfect?
“He doesn’t care, he doesn’t care, why would he care so much?” he muttered as he half-ran down the hall.
He ran headlong into Lup, and suddenly there was paper flying everywhere, Lup cursing as she knelt to try and pick it all up.
“Goddamnit, Ko, I spent all morning on this, and now you’ve gone and - ”
Taako took a second look at the paper.  It wasn’t blank, there was writing all over it.  Lup was holding what looked like an empty cover.
“Lup, what is - ”
He snatched a piece out of the air and read it over.
- was some of the best fun I’ve had in ages.  Your smile was so lovely, and your laugh made me feel – 
Lup grabbed the paper back from him, almost ripping it in half.  She was blushing.
“None of your business, is what it is.”
He eyed the cover that she was shoving all the papers back into.
“Is this for Lucretia?”
Lup didn’t answer.  She collected the final pieces before shutting the cover forcefully and standing up.
“Oh ho ho, you are not in love with - ”
“Taako, I’m gonna make you a deal - ”
She shoved a finger in his face.
“I won’t say shit about your thing for Magnus if you don’t say shit about this.”
Taako was still shocked.
“Wait.  If you got Lucretia’s name, then why the hell did you say Magnus was cooking for her?”
Lup closed her eyes and cursed.
“Lulu,” he chided.  “He pulled my name didn’t he?”
She stared at the ground.
“Maybe,” she grumbled.
“Oh no,” Taako realized.  “I just told him how to make the perfect dish for me.  Oh, god, Lup, this is going to backfire horribly, you can’t let this happen.”
“Last time I checked,” Lup said, pulling the journal closer to her.  “It wasn’t any of my business.”
She shoved past him, shouldering him hard, leaving him to think.
Magnus knew what Taako wanted.  He was going to make him exactly what he wanted.  And Taako was supposed to sit there and take it like it wasn’t the most pathetic thing to happen to him.
The gift swap was tomorrow.
He groaned and headed back to the workshop.
He had a ship to finish.
******
The morning came beautifully.  There was a layer of fresh snow on the ground, the Candlenights bush was alight, and everyone around them was celebrating.
Davenport had polished up the Starblaster’s living room with a small bush of its own, and everyone had their gifts ready.
As Taako expected, Lup gave Lucretia a journal full of stories they had shared.  Lucretia had turned beet red, and so had Lup.  Merle gave Barry a new pair of somewhat patchworked blue jeans he had made himself, and Barry gave the dwarf a Candlenights pumpkin he had tried to grow in a greenhouse.  It was deflated, and sad-looking, but Merle loved it anyway.  Davenport smiled cheerfully as he gave Lup a simple sweater with the IPRE logo, that he said he had knitted himself.
It was Magnus’ turn to present his gift, and he produced a large plate surrounded by buttery crackers.  In its center there was a giant cheeseball, covered in herbs and bacon.  Taako could smell the ranch from across the room, and his mouth watered just looking at it.  Magnus had outdone himself, and Taako had no idea why.  Why was he worth so much?  He shouldn’t have ever helped Magnus.  He should have just – 
“Taako?”
Davenport was trying to get his attention.
“Taako, it’s your gift next, right?”
“Yeah.  Coming right up.”
He left the room and returned with the Starblaster model in his hands.
He was particularly proud of himself, actually.  The beautifully sculpted hull was painted the shining silver of the real thing.  The cockpit was sleek and smooth.  The thing even had the name etched into its side, carefully done by fucking hand (and his fingers still hurt from doing it).  But it was done, and it was pretty, and from one look at Magnus Taako could tell he loved it.  Taako’s heart swelled up to just look at the big guy’s expression.
“Taako!” he gasped.  “Taako, that’s incredible!”
Taako smiled sheepishly as he set the thing down on the table.
“Thanks.  I wanted to make sure it looked good for - ”
“Davenport, that’s gotta be the best present ever!”
“Wait, what?”
Magnus turned to Davenport, who looked shocked too, but Lucretia was shaking her head.
“No, I had Davenport’s name.  Magnus, that ship’s for you.”
Magnus stared at Taako.
“For me?”
Taako was gaping at him.
“Wait, wait.  You think I made this for Davenport?”
“You were so focused on it, you were so passionate!  You must have loved Davenport so much and I didn’t want to - ”
“Davenport?  Davenport?  Excuse me, why the ever loving fuck would I be in love with Davenport - no offense Dav - ”
The gnome shrugged.
“Davenport?!”
“I didn’t think it was for me!”
“You idiot, of course it was for you!”
“Why did you put so much effort into something that I would - ”
“Okay, back up, Taako’s not answering that question, you should be answering mine, which is why the hell did you put so much effort into my gift?”
Magnus blinked at him.
“Lup said it was your favorite.”
“Lup said?!”
Taako whirled on his sister, flipping her off with both hands.  She saluted him, and he turned back to Magnus.
“Magnus, you nearly killed yourself in that kitchen.  Why didn’t you make your rabbit stew?  You know I would have been happy with that.”
Magnus looked saddened.
“I wanted it to be special.  For you.”
Taako took the words hard.
“What, so now you’re taking pity on me?” he spat.  He didn’t need this.  This extra effort.  “It’s bad enough seeing me by myself all the time, you had to go and embellish it?”
Magnus was shaking his head, but Taako wasn’t having any of it.
“You’re such an idiot, Mags, a real prize.  It’s already hard enough having to see you dance around with people on the different planes.  Dancing with people who weren’t me.  Now you gotta go and remind me that I’m just a pity project to you, someone you feel bad for.”
Magnus was staring at him.
“People who weren’t...you?” he asked, confused.
“Here we go,” Lup stage whispered to the rest of the crew.  Taako could have sworn he heard money being exchanged, but he didn’t care.
“Yeah, Maggie!” he yelled.  “Not me!  Because you’ll never dance with me, no matter how much I want it.  You wanna know why I put so much into this hunk of junk?  Because you deserve the best, Magnus Burnsides.  You wanna know why I know that?  Because I love your stupid face too much, and I’ll never give you second best, even if all you’ll do is bake me a pity cake and serve it with a smile.”
Magnus was dumbstruck.  Lup was smirking.  And Taako was panting hard, his braid unraveling at the end, his fists balled up tight.
“Look,” he spit out, storming over to the plate with Magnus’ cheese ball and scooping it up, almost spitefully.  “I’m going to enjoy this in the comfort of my own room.  You win, Lup.”
He flipped her off again, pointedly ignoring Merle and Davenport eating popcorn by the window.  His asshole of a sister must have handed it out.  Fine, whatever.
“Show’s over people,” he muttered.
“...I have a stupid face?” were the only words he heard from Magnus before Taako slammed the door behind him.
******
The worst part about all of it was that the food was exceptionally good.  Magnus had outdone himself, always and forever, like he always would, and it made Taako even more pissed.  Because of course Magnus would go all out.  Of course he would devote all this time and energy and effort into making Taako the perfect dish because the dumb idiot never wanted anyone to feel left out.  He felt bad for Taako, seeing him on his own.
“Whose fault is it that I’m alone in the first place, huh?” Taako muttered spitefully as he took another bite.  He didn’t mean it.  He didn’t blame Magnus - he blamed himself.  But that wasn’t Taako’s area of expertise, so he threw the ball back in Magnus’ court because having an imaginary scapegoat for your own problems is better than confronting them yourself.
There was a tentative knock on the door.  Taako groaned, setting aside the food delicately (he still wanted to eat more) as he forced himself to his feet and stormed over to the door.
“Lup, I swear to god, Fantasy Jesus, Jeffandrew, and literally everyone in the Celestial Plane that I am gonna - ”
He wrenched the door open, ready with a string of curses.  But it wasn’t Lup.  It was Magnus.
“Hi,” he said timidly.
Taako moved to close the door, but Magnus stuck his foot out and caught it.
“Please,” he offered, desperation in his voice.  “I just wanna talk.”
Taako rolled his eyes and sighed loudly, throwing his hands up in the air as he walked back to his bunk and the plate of delicious food.  He threw himself onto the bed and waved a hand dramatically, inviting Magnus to enter.
“Not much to talk about, my man,” he said, pointedly ignoring Magnus’ puppy dog eyes.  The whole thing reeked of the adoration that Magnus usually poured into things.  Selfless loser.
“I didn’t mean any of what you said back there.  I promise.”
Taako took another spiteful bite.  God it was good.
“Listen, you’re the team lover.  We’ve all heard the stories, we know each other.  It’s been, what, fifteen cycles?  Twenty?  The idea that you wanna care for all of us isn’t anything new, Mags.  I get it.”
“Taako, I do care about you, just like everyone else, but I - ”
“That’s all I gotta hear, Maggie.” Taako finished his food, savoring the last taste of bacon on his tongue.  Magnus was struggling for words.
“The Starblaster,” he said slowly.  Taako knew he meant the model ship Taako had slaved over, as much as he wanted him to be talking about the one they were in.  If only so they didn’t. Have. To talk. About this.  “Why were you so focused on it?”
Taako curled his legs up to his chest and looked out the window, away from Magnus.
“I told you why,” he said dully, almost under his breath.
“I guess I don’t...you’re always so bold, Taako, I...I never knew you’d want me.”
Taako recoiled further and closed his eyes.
“Yeah, well.”
Why wasn’t Magnus leaving?  Things would be so much better if he just wasn’t there.
“Taako.”
Magnus’ hand was on Taako’s, and he wanted to leap back, hissing, because no one touched him except Lup, at least not like this, not when he was vulnerable and messy and dear god why did Magnus have to look like that?
His eyes were big and watery, there was a hesitant smile on his lips, and he looked cute, the absolute fucker.   He was making Taako’s heart skip three beats at a time, and it wasn’t fair.
“What do you care anyway?!” Taako snapped, shoving himself up from the bed and marching to the door.  Magnus’ hand hovered midair where it had been touching Taako’s skin moments before.  “We’ve both played our hands, made our beds.  Now I’ve gotta lie in mine, and you in yours, and we’ll move on!”
He yanked open the door and pointed firmly at the hall outside.
Magnus looked heartbroken, and it made Taako furious.
“Why do you have to look like that!” he cried.  “It’s bad enough you look down on me - ”
Magnus stood suddenly.
“Taako, no - ”
“ - and now Taako’s gone and opened his big mouth and said shit you were never meant to hear and I - ”
Magnus was in front of him, towering over him with his big frame and muscles that could hug Taako so warmly and goddamnit.
“Taako, I love you, okay?” Magnus shouted.
“Yeah!  That’s exactly the problem!”
Magnus shook his head and grasped Taako’s shoulders, and as much as he wanted to shove them off and run the other way, he found himself rooted to the spot.
“Taako, I don’t pity you!  I don’t want you to feel good, or have nice things, or be cared for because I’m obligated to!  I want perfection for you, Taako, because I love you!”
Taako opened his mouth for a retort and stopped short, one finger raised in retaliation.
“You - you’re saying that you specially cooked a meal - ”
“Yes.”
“And did all this work - ”
“Yes.”
“And asked my fucking sister to help you - ”
Magnus stuttered.  “I d - didn’t exactly ask her - ”
“Oh, shut up you lovable idiot.”
Taako threw himself forward and kissed Magnus with as much as he could muster in the span of three seconds, before he pulled back, his hands still gently grasping Magnus’ shirt.  Magnus looked surprised, and immediately Taako tried to push himself away.
“Never should’ve...stupid, I’m so fucking stupid...I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m - ”
He didn’t realize what was happening until Magnus’ lips were on his, and they were kissing again, longer and deeper.  Taako felt the door close quietly behind him before Magnus had lifted him into the air, pressing him against the door and wow, it felt like flying kissing this man, this big stupid lug who cared too damn much for his own good.
In a breath that he almost didn’t want to take, he looked at Magnus, at his soft eyes and dorky smile.
“I fucked up,” he whispered.  “I didn’t know - ”
“You’re forgiven,” Magnus said softly, kissing him gently on the cheek.
“That bacon was really fucking good.”
“I know.”  He was kissing his neck now, oh my god he was kissing his neck.
“How much do you think the team lost on the bets?” he asked, trying and failing to distract himself from Magnus’ strong arms and his careful fingers.
“Bet they didn’t expect this,” Magnus breathed into his ear, and Taako stopped talking then, because even if this was a fluke, a one off, Magnus’ pity going to the extreme -
But it wasn’t.  He felt that, somewhere inside of him.  Magnus had a tiny ship and Taako had a licked-clean plate to prove it. This wasn’t going to go away.
Somewhere down the hall, Lup listened in on the bedroom and beamed as she collected her winnings from everyone around her.
Next to her, Lucretia started a new page in her books.
11 notes · View notes
kravkalackin · 5 years
Note
f- frozen au
you are in luck as that’s a movie i’ve actually seen! 
let’s say lup has fire powers instead because obv, and after accidentally burning taako when they’re kids their parents have taako’s memory wiped and lup locked up. 
oh hey, this might be verring a little off the frozen plot line but stay with me. to keep in more taz taako forgets he has a sister at all and lup’s isolation is a little less willing. she doesn’t know taako was forced to forget her either
after their parents die taako still keeps the castle locked up at the insistance of some advisers, until he’s old enough to be crowned king.  he finally decides fuck it, i’ve been stuck alone in this castle my whole life, i’m gonna get out there a see a little before i’m king and that’s when he goes out and meets sazed, who’s a prince from another land who’s in town for the coronation. they hit it off and when marriage is brought up taako decides that’s a great idea because hey he’s the king if he thinks it’s a good idea then it must be 
meanwhile lup has been struggling to get out of her prison, which is probably made of ice because why not, for all this time, and now that their parents aren’t around to reinforce the magic bindings she’s able to wear it down until she eventually breaks free, right after the coronation
she goes to see taako in a blaze of fire, wanting to know why he didn’t try to get her out all this time, or if their parents had him locked up too, or what, but he doesn’t know who she is and is kind of scared of the yelling fire witch who just burst in.  
lup is pretty distraught that her brother doesn’t know her and he’s getting married and is scared of her so she leaves in a fiery blaze and sets off an eternal summer as she goes and makes herself a lava castle at the top of a volcano. taako tells sazed to watch the kingdom while he goes to apparently take care of this fire witch who is clearly trying to burn down his whole kingdom and also stole his face or something 
along the way he meets kravitz who i think still sells ice in this, and has a giant pet raven. he’s mostly pissed because this would be really good for business if all the ice everywhere hadn’t melted. he helps him get to lup though while berating him over getting engaged to a dude he knew for a day just because you’re the king doesn’t mean you can’t be a right dumbass taako 
it doesn’t go well when they find lup because taako still doesn’t remember her, and lup doesn’t want to fight him, but in her panic and rage trying to get him to remember she ends up burning him pretty badly. kravitz takes taako back to the people who raised him, which are just like, the taz deities. istus probably ends up removing the memory block from him and taako is suddenly in a panic because that’s his sister shit they need to go help her  
sazed has already set off on another mission to kill the fire witch, and manages to capture lup while she’s panicking over hurting taako and lock her back in her dungeon. kravitz takes taako back to the castle, and he’s really hurting from the fire magics at this point, and the whole true love thing. 
he tries to explain to sazed what’s going on and how there needs to be true love and they need to let lup go but sazed locks him up too and goes to tell people he’s dead and all that 
idk how to make an olaf equivalent and i can’t remember how elsa gets free in the actual movie so lup gets let out of her dungeon by barry, who probably worked in the castle and had actually helped lup get out the first time as well. lup goes to have a showdown with sazed but gets told taako’s dead, and suddenly it’s looking a lot like phandolin, which causes kravitz to head back, and he helps taako get to lup who manages to stop the destruction and true love keep taako from burning to ashes.
this
got long
136 notes · View notes
Text
animaniacs - s1e26.4: sir yaksalot
Tumblr media
this one is also an a! short with a cameo, but there’s enough of a plan inherent within it for me to be able to write something. (it doesn’t have mice in shorts, though, which i consider a devastating loss.)
episode summary: the once bright and musical city of camelot is under attack from a fierce dragon. king arthur, being too much of a coward to sort it himself, prays for a solution... and ends up with Awful Siblings instead. what could go wrong.
the rundown:
a lot of this isn’t particularly relevant to the mouse boys, so i’m going to detangle the narrative as much as i can... or as much as anyone can with a warner siblings short.
Tumblr media
this is camelot. it is one of the most Celebrated Kingdom In The History Of Britain. a kingdom of peace, prosperity, and singing.
Tumblr media
it’s also where king arthur lives.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
unfortunately it has dragons now. which is unfortunate. the dragon apparently also doesn’t like singing, which is just devastating to the citizens of camelot and their enthusiasm about musical theatre. so, desperate to fix the issue, king arthur turns to taako adventurezone i mean it’s merlin. it’s. it’s merlin.
Tumblr media
my DUDE. i’m pretty sure the overbite is there as a parody of the state of dental care in the uk, but.... it didn’t age well.
anyway, merlin does some magic and now the terrible siblings are here.
Tumblr media
yay. it takes them like, a further ten minutes to actually slay said dragon, because of their Patented Warner Antics, but i trust y’all don’t want a whole ass review of “would someone stop that guy from saying dragon” jokes so i’m going to cut to the interesting bit--
conclusion:
--the conclusion!!!.... wait yeah we’re at the conclusion already, aren’t we. i told y’all there wasn’t much to this one.
so the warners, having a median age of 11*, decide the best way to solve this dragon problem is to start a Dragon Comedy Night at a conveniently placed theatre.
Tumblr media
*their ages are listed as 15, 11, and 9 respectively according to the wiki, which if i’m right averages out at around 11.6.
Tumblr media
”how about that king arthur, huh? i’ll never forget the first time we met.... but i’m tryin.” badmtsh.
Tumblr media
“candy? gum? dynamite? all on the house, sugar.” obvious plan. hilarious execution. i love these terrible children. anyway, this goes about as well as you expect it to. the dragon finds “what’s green and stands in the corner? a naughty frog” a little too funny, and, well.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
mhm.
Tumblr media
and whoa!!! hello mouse boys!!! “AHAHAHA NAUGHTY FROG. NARF.” this is where the real weird shit kicks in. as king arthur desperately scrambles to figure out A the talking mice and B Why Does Dragon Have Metal In It, brain sulkily informs him that “we were trying to destroy camelot in yet another plot to take over the world.”
.....hold up. hold the fuck up, brain. destroy camelot. this isn’t... brain, when i said be gay and do crimes, i meant steal that minivan. break into fort knox. why.... you set fire to COUNTLESS PEOPLE. burnt down HOUSES. you tried to EAT SOMEONE.
Tumblr media
BOYS. BOYS YOU COULD HAVE KILLED THIS MAN.
Tumblr media
“aaahaha. stands in the corner. naughty frog.” y’all get in the corner. both of you. appalling. 
brain: 1 pinky: 1 outside influence: 4
Tumblr media
“come! to the war room!” 
Tumblr media
“actually we don’t have a war room.”
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
“you do now.”
50 notes · View notes
ungarmax · 5 years
Text
so here’s that thing from my drafts i was talking about earlier.  i didn’t read it over or anything so it probably doesn’t make any sense, but SHRUG EMOJI.  @nekosd43 @epersonae @siobhanrobotnik
i’ve been thinking kind of obsessively about a taagnitz royalty au idea i had the other day.  celeste and i were talking about starting a new rp and throwing ideas around and i randomly said, “taako is a prince and magnus is a stable boy!” just as a generic idea, but then.  THEN.  i started to think about it.  and i added kravitz, which made it at least 50% better.
there’s an elven nation called the felicity wilds ruled by a set of twins from the animus clan (edward & lydia).  in this nation, twins are considered royalty because they tend to only show up in families because, i don’t know, elven genetics or something.  there are also other races living there, primarily humans and half elves.
there were probably seven royal houses at some point, but elves live a long time and have a lot of time to murder each other, so we’re gonna say only one house/clan remains in power.  the other families have died out or scattered.  sometimes people claim to be from one of the clans, but it’s usually just bullshit.
taako and lup were definitely from one of those clans, probably disgraced or something a long time ago, or maybe it’s sort of a “hide your royal babies who are gonna get murdered in this coup d’etat” situation.  either way, they were raised in a human orphanage at the very edge of the country for a long time without the knowledge that twins are royalty, etc.  at some point, someone figures out who they are, and they find out they’re part of the phoenix clan.  the current leaders aren’t the most popular monarchs and so it’s easy for them to get political support, and they’re not planning on taking over anyway.  at least not right now.
anyway, they get some like...off brand royal titles like duke and duchess or something.  no actual political power, but good for popularity.  they both think it’s dumb as shit, but they enjoy having things for basically the first time in their lives.  they get to go to wizard college and stuff.
meanwhile, the next country over is a more human based country, although a lot of dwarves live there too.  this country is actually called shadowfell (based on the raven queen’s actual location according to d&d lore), but due to the fact that most of the industry in the country is excavating and polishing precious gems, residents affectionately call it the crystal kingdom.
shadowfell is also known for its necromancy.  specifically, their good necromancy.  no zombies or skeleton friends here.  their necromancers are generally very respectful of the dead and have an abiding consciousness of the soul and body’s connection to one another.  dark necromancy, like raising undead, or becoming a vampire or a lich?  very frowned upon.  punishable by doing time in the eternal stockade, or even by death.
residing over the nation is the raven queen, the ‘raven’ part being a ceremonial title for whomever wears the crown.  her real name is unknown, but those close to her call her ruby.  her partner is ????, and she has a grown son, kravitz, who is looking to get married.
there are maybe some border disputes or a trade agreement that could be beneficial to both countries, something like that, and also the shadowfell royal family isn’t opposed to having some magic mixed in with it.  i guess they’d also have to be cool with like a half elf in there too.  idk it’s possible necromancers have longer lifespans than regular humans/dwarves/whatever because of their close connection with death itself, so half elven lifespan is pretty average to them.  the POINT was that edward and lydia known an opportunity when they see one and decide to foist their problem twins off onto the crystal kingdom.
i think it’s lup that they send with the intention of marrying her off to kravitz.  i don’t want to say there aren’t magical or just scientific means for trans women to have babies in this world, but i do rather like the idea that it’s kind of a ‘fuck you’ to kravitz & co. when they know that heirs are important.  if you want to get into skeevy bullshit, maybe edward was courting taako and taako was like “no thx bye” and he figures he might have a better shot with taako if lup is gone away.
taako absolutely travels with lup, as does lup’s handmaiden, lucretia, who is also secret girlfriend.  and they arrive at the palace and, oh no he’s hot.  taako gets a crush on kravitz literally immediately, and kravitz, bless his little gay heart, can’t even see lup.
but lup is the one who is supposed to be courting kravitz, and taako is here for emotional support or whatever.  kravitz wants to do what’s best for his country, even if it means marrying a woman, so he spends a lot of time with lup, who isn’t really particularly interested.  he’s nice?  he’s definitely not really into her, and she’s definitely not really into arranged marriage or whatever.  she’s probably not into this entire trip, but that’s not really kravitz’ fault.
so taako is bored as fuck, but he likes horses and this country has a lot of open places and nature to explore.  so he ends up going down to the stables and borrowing a horse almost every day.  and he gets to know the guy in charge of the stables, who is of course magnus.  they sort of bond over stupid jokes about horse dicks and their shared love of nature and horses.  romance happens, because that’s what this dumb story is about.
meanwhile, lup has met one of the more dubious members of the shadowfell court, a necromancer named barry whose family had gotten into some Bad Necromancy Shit when he was small and had gotten removed from their place in the shadowfell nobility.  barry is working on making up for what his ancestors did and was begrudgingly allowed to return, if only because he’s a brilliant scientist who has made great advancements in the field.
lup and barry hit it off instantly.  and since we’re doing ot3s here, in this house, lucretia is cool with lup being poly, and lup has lucretia’s blessing to pursue this bluejean-clad nerd.
thing is, kravitz and taako also have this mutual flirtation thing going on whenever they happen to meet, and it’s very clear to pretty much everyone that they’re into each other.  taako, however, is dating magnus at this point, so he kind of tries to keep his distance.
but since lup and kravitz aren’t into each other, someone at some point makes the suggestion that taako marry kravitz instead, which would solve all the border disputes or whatever was the issue, and that would also keep taako from having to go back home to be courted with by edward, which he Does Not Want, so it’s Hard.  they don’t get to stay here if no one is marrying kravitz, after all.
but taako has a boyfriend!!!  but staying here would solve a lot of his problems and he doesn’t want to go home!!! but it’s hard!!!
and then lup is like, hey dude you know i have a boyfriend AND a girlfriend right, maybe you could, like, you know, do that too.  and taako is like wow what a great idea let me go talk to all my boyfriends and make sure they’re all right with this.  except probably with more worrying about everything for drama or something, man, i dunno.
anyway, then he marries kravitz and continues dating magnus, and lup marries barry and/or lucretia, and everyone is happy.  and they adopt angus and he can be the next king after kravitz.  man, i dunno.
also, i tihnk merle is one of kravitz’ advisors for some reason, even though he is down an arm and it’s pretty much kravitz’ fault (don’t ask me how yet i don’t know).  davenport’s from felicity wilds and traveled with taako and lup.  i don’t know his job title exactly.  maybe he’s kind of a “””handler.”””  they call him dad because they know he hates it.
25 notes · View notes
Text
Merle (Apple) Piechurch
Tumblr media
Edit: it’s been pointed out to me that I wasted the opportunity to name this “Merle Piechurch”. So that’s been fixed. Much like Merle, I’m not very good at this thing. (Hey at least I didn’t try to seduce the apples okay??)
Merle’s an earthy kind of guy and he seems like he’d appreciate comfort foods, so I decided on an apple pie with a cheddar cheese crust decorated in one of his favorite re-occuring motif: an owl.
(I thought about trying to do a “zone of truth” crust but I started this at like 9pm so like, no)
Ingredients:
Cheddar Cheese Dough (+some scraps of other dough if you have them)
10 cups apples 
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup King Arthur’s Pie Filling Enhancer (Optional)
Alternatively: You could throw a bit of flour in here but apple pies don’t tend to be as liquidy as berry pies so you don’t super need it? 
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 very heaping teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon allspice
1 tablespoon lemon juice or apple cider vinegar
2 tablespoons butter
Note: So apples...
There are different types of apples and they do bake differently. While this is not necessarily alway the case, generally sweet apples (think galas) will be mushier than tart apples (think granny smiths). My family doesn’t tend to like mushy food so I tend to stick to granny smiths during the off-season. When apples are in season though, I absolutely love pies made with cortlands. If you don’t know what types of apples you like in your pie, you can pick a couple to throw in to a single pie and determine what you prefer after trying them!
Instructions:
Oven Temperature: 425 degrees Fahrenheit (at least initially)
0. Put on your favorite music or Merle Highchurch TAZ episode and get ready for some interpretive jazz dancing! (Alt: cast zone of truth so anyone who tries to steal your ingredients has to ‘fess up) Also consider quickly cleaning your workspace now.
1. Make your cheddar cheese dough and place it in the fridge to chill
2. Gather your sugar, pie filling enhancer (optional), and spices in a bowl and mix it all up. Put it off to the side for now
3. Take half of your dough and roll it out. Transfer it to your pie pan and put both the pan and the remainder of your dough in the fridge
Tumblr media
4. Cut up your apples. I tend to not leave the skin on when I do this, but that’s a preference thing. If you don’t know what you like, skin some pieces and leave the others so you can figure out what you prefer next time!
Apples brown fairly quickly so occasionally as you cut up the fruit, pour some of your apple cider vinegar/lemon juice over the sliced fruit. This will slow down the oxidation process, keeping your apples a little bit fresher while you put the pie together
Tumblr media
5. Once you’re done cutting all of the apples you want, take your sugar and spice (and everything nice) mixture and add it to your bowl of fruit, along with whatever vinegar/lemon juice you have left. Mix it up a bit so everything is coated in yumminess before dumping it into your pie pan. Put the butter on top of your filling, spreading it out as you see fit.
6. Time for the top crust! I decided to make this pie look like an owl which, since we’re in a zone of truth and I have to be honest, was a whole lot of work and just ended up looking more like a hedgehog? 
Anyways, the best way to do that is to roll out your remaining dough and cut out the top, non-obviously-feathered part of the face. I used a dinner plate to help me get the curves I wanted. Cut out eye holes and put this off to the side.
Next, take your remaining rolled out dough and start cutting out circles. I used a metal baking/frosting tip, but you can also use a tablespoon and it will probably go faster. Cut out as many circles as you can and start laying them down on top of your filling. I started at the bottom edge of the crust and worked my way up so there’s a layered effect. Once you’ve run out of circles, take your scrap dough, smash it together, and then re-roll it out so you can cut more circles. Repeat as needed until you’ve covered enough of the pie so that the owl’s “face” can do the rest.
Since I had some extra dough, and because it’s Merle, I cut out a few dough flowers and gave my owl a flower crown. (I think this is the main reason my owl looked kind of like a hedgehog- the flowers looked like they could be spikes when they came out of the oven)
Tumblr media
7. Cover your top crust with an egg wash- 1 tablespoon of water mixed with 1 egg white. This will help prevent your dough from just melting together.
8. Turn your oven on to 425 degrees Fahrenheit and let the pie chill in the fridge as your oven gets to temperature. Once at temp, throw your pie into the oven for 20 minutes. After 20 minutes are up, reduce the temperature to 375 degrees and continue baking for 30 minutes.
9. Pull out your Merle pie and enjoy!
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Baker’s Note:
Sorry for the delay in posting this. I live in a non-air-conditioned house in Vermont in the summer, which means that when horrible heat waves hit us, we do everything in our power to keep the house as cool as possible. That means no washing machine/dryer and especially no oven. Once the heat wave passed however, I got to pack up and spend 2 weeks in Massachusetts and Minnesota for a cousin’s wedding which is why this is so late.
To make matters worse, I’m only up here for a week or so before I have to return to upstate New York for the upcoming school year. Since I don’t have access to a kitchen, I’ll still be able to post recipes but I won’t be able to experiment or take pictures of each step in the process. I’m hoping I can get Taako’s pie done before I have to go back, but be forewarned that he may be the last character pie for a bit. 
I do promise though that I’ll spend some of my time at school coming up with new baked goods series!
122 notes · View notes
allofthemliches · 6 years
Note
nadiya,davenport, murder on the rockport limited,lunar interlude,neverwinter high,tomb of orrors,
Aww thank you!! this is long so i’ll put it under a cut
Nadiya: Be proud – talk about something you’re good at. 
I like to think I’m pretty good at drawing! I like doing it, but don’t get to very often because I’m usually busy with work and school. I took a pretty big break during high school where I barely doodled for the better part of two years, so I’m happy I picked it up again. It’s always fun looking back at old art I was proud of and seeing where I’ve improved!
Davenport: Become the stars you gaze upon – how have you been defined by a journey (literal or metaphorical)? 
um I studied abroad from january to may and while it wasn’t the first time I had been out of the country basically on my own, it was the first time it was for such a long period, without absolutely any constant guidance. I became a lot more self-reliant, and learned how to do stuff like cook, navigate around an unfamiliar city, take public transport, and most importantly, how to decipher a glaswegian accent. so i’ve changed a lot in those regards, and become a much different person than when i left
Murder on the Rockport Limited: Not everything is clear – how do you feel about mysteries? 
i fuckin LOVE mysteries. i love reading about them. there’s this tv show called expedition unknown and it’s about this guy who goes around trying to do stuff like find king arthur’s grave, locate lost treasure, stuff like that, and it’s pretty much my favorite show.
there’s also wikipedia articles on mysterious disappearances and stuff and there’s this one guy who they found his body in australia and they have no idea who he was, he had a bunch of weird stuff on his body and there’s like no clues. it’s the tamam shud case look it up
Lunar Interlude: “I hand Leon the token” – how do you make your friends laugh? 
uh i say dumb shit all the time. my family is pretty crazy, like i know everyone’s family is a little crazy but mine is actually very very crazy and the stories i tell are very funny, and they always make my friends laugh. i’m also notorious for making stupid faces both irl and in pictures that get memed and sent to everyone. 
Neverwinter High: “Magnus, it’s another day of high school! Taako and Merle, you immediately realize something horrible has gone wrong” – how observant are you relative to others? Has this led to any goofy situations?
i’m observant sometimes! but i regularly do stupid shit i should have seen backfiring. FOR EXAMPLE my friend was cooking in the communal kitchen of our residence hall an had turned on a burner, but it was one of those that doesn’t light up or anything to show that it’s hot, and my way of testing its temp was to put my whole gotdamn hand down on it. literally my whole palm was burnt it was horrible
Tomb of Horrors: “I expected you to catch a fucking fish in the fish minigame!” – when has something gone ridiculously off the rails? Were you the derailer, the voice of reason, or a bystander?
idk how “off the rails” this is but after i graduated high school my mom and i decided to take a road trip to quebec, mostly because i took french in high school and wanted to go somewhere i could speak it and france was out of the question. so we drove up and did the niagara falls thing and drove through horrible traffic in toronto and made it to our hotel in montreal finally, and drove downtown the next day because i had some stuff picked out to see.
well we parked beside the restaurant we had brunch at and walked all around to see whatever dumb shit i had written down and it was hot and exhausting and we were like “k let’s go back to the car now.” only we didn’t have a map and we had next to no data so we couldn’t find it, and i flagged a woman down and asked her in english where the street we parked on was, and she couldn’t understand me, so i asked in french and she STILL couldn’t understand, and my phone said we were 2 hours walking away from the car
my mom was LIVID. i knew this was going to be fun to look back on so i took a candid pic of the two of us and now it’s my favorite picture ever. my mom is SEETHING. we walked a bit and turned out we were only 2 streets away god bless but my mom was ready to murder me. we walked 12 miles that day. i died
5 notes · View notes
tflatte · 6 years
Text
I made a playlist for How Monsters Are Made a while back, and also I started writing this post a while ago to get it made and out of my head. The playlist is vague spoilers, so I had to wait till after I finished the story to actually share it, but here it is! 
https://open.spotify.com/user/tflatte/playlist/3MlOK2U8Jf9wj3IkXKxHo8
Under the cut I’m going to talk about my song choices so. If all you want is to hear the music, you can skip this. Definitely don’t read it until you’ve finished the chapter though.
Maybe try not to judge my music tastes too much, if you don’t mind. I did write you all my longest fic ever, after all. I feel like that earns me some slack on the musical choices front.
Mirror Mirror Part II - Casey Lee Williams
It was...kind of a struggle to narrow down which Weiss songs I was going to use because the basic arc is pretty much identical? Rich, lonely, emotionally neglected child leaves home and finds new family and the courage to stand up to their shitty birth family. This is prologue-Angus, trying to understand and to figure out what he needs to do and inching towards Getting Out.
Years of scorn will leave you cold Forget your dreams, do what you’re told When disapproval’s all you’re shown The safest place becomes alone
If Only You Would Listen - School of Rock: The Musical
The irony of his home life is, Angus would have been a perfect son if his family had just been a little more flexible, a little more affectionate. He’s brilliant and eager to please and he loved them - if they’d let him exist the way he actually is, instead of trying to fit him to their mold, he’d have been wonderful - as the monsters discovered. He was angry about that, even if he didn’t realize it until he learned what it was like to have family who listens.
I’ve got so much inside If only you would listen Joy and anger and pride If only you would listen It’s not much I’m asking I only want your ear
Home - Phillip Phillips
Magnus lobbying to adopt Angus, and to a lesser extent the twins, Barry, and Lucretia. Magnus knows that the odds are good that if Angus stays, he’ll become family, and he’ll be happy, even if he’s scared now, and while the others don’t have the visions to guide them they do know that this is a little kid who got lost somewhere he shouldn’t even have considered going, and who clearly needs to be looked after.
The trouble, it might drag you down If you get lost you can always be found Just know you’re not alone ‘Cause I’m gonna make this place your home
Keepin’ It Real - Barenaked Ladies
The Magnus song of the playlist. He’s a sweetheart but he’s also kind of a badass. But a sweetheart most of all.
When my time comes I won’t be leaving this earth And what I’ve done for people will determine my worth
Hey Brother - Avicii
Taako’s song. Honestly we all know it. He’d never admit it(feelings are for losers, and okay maybe also Lup, but mostly losers), but it’s not just Lup he’d do anything for.
Hey brother, there’s an endless road to rediscover Hey sister, do you still believe in love I wonder? If the sky comes falling down, for you There’s nothing in this world I wouldn’t do
I Am The Fire - Halestorm
Lup. Obviously. I feel like I shouldn’t have to specify that. But Phandolin was really, really hard on her - you can imagine. It took a long time for her to recover from that, but as she does, she rose from those ashes too.
I don’t believe I’ll fall from grace Won’t let the past decide my fate Leave forgiveness in my wake Take the love that I’ve embraced I promise to myself, me and no one else I am more than this
Warriors - Imagine Dragons
This one is Barry’s. He doesn’t have to sacrifice as much as he does in canon here, but it’s still a terrible sacrifice to give up your entire life and the way you wanted it to go as a normal person, even when you do it to save the world.
As a child you would wait and watch from far away But you always knew that you’d be the one to work while they all played In youth you’d lay awake at night and scheme Of all the things that you would change but it was just a dream
Glitter and Gold - Barns Courtney
Lucretia didn’t have a specific year where she became Madam Director, not here. It was a slower, more gradual process, and nobody’s quite noticed how much she’s grown as a person - you know how it is, the little changes you don’t notice add up and it requires looking back at how you started to notice how different things are. If something were to happen to put Davenport out of commission, though, she’d step up and they’d all realize.
Do you walk in the valley of kings? Do you walk in the shadow of men who sold their lives to a dream? Do you ponder the manner of things? In the dark, the dark, the dark, the dark
Some Nights - Fun
Merle doesn’t share it much, but he still maintains a lot of doubts. He left his family - his kids - to become a monster, and that’s not the kind of thing that you can forget, even if the choice has brought him a lot closer to Pan.
And some nights I’m scared you’ll forget me again Some nights I always win But I still wake up I still see your ghost Oh lord, I’m still not sure what I stand for
Contact - Trocadero
Davenport wrestled a lot with the ethics of asking his crew to turn themselves into guardians. He still worries, and he knows that if things are going to go bad at any point, they can go really bad. He’d rather it be him who takes that hit, even though he knows it may not be his decision who does.
We’ve been here so long Still I remember the rain in September Contact Two, four, one, ten, two, four, one, ten Am I transmitting? Is anyone listening? Contact Am I still willing to foot all this billing? Contact
Beside You - Marianas Trench
All seven of these monsters would do anything for each other. Simple as that. All they have is one another and that’s enough for now, even when the Voice is shouting at them.
When you're overwhelmed and you've lost your breath When the space between the things you know is blurry nonetheless. When you try to speak but you make no sound And the words you want are out of reach but they've never been so loud
Friends - Miracle of Sound
A slightly happier friendship song. It’s not so bad to be a monster when you have your family around you.
Lookin’ at all we’ve lost All the pain that livin’ hard can bring When we are together yeah We can take on anyone anything
Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up) - Florence and the Machine
Malicious or not, the Light of Creation is a dangerous thing, no matter how kind and generous it seems. Look at what it did to the people who guard it. Look what it tried to do to the world that loved it. 
You made a deal and now it seems you have to offer up But will it ever be enough? It’s not enough
Everything at Once - Lenka
Once Angus gets out from under all his family’s expectations and has room to breathe, he wants everything he never had. Hard to blame him, really.
Strong like a family, strong as I wanna be Bright as day, as light as play As hard as nails, as grand as a whale All I wanna be, all I wanna be, All I wanna be is everything Everything at once
Dog Days Are Over - Florence and the Machine
Angus is happier than he ever imagined being, living with the monsters, and he loves them more than he thought was even possible. Unfortunately, that means when he realizes they could be hurt protecting him, he feels he has to fix it himself. Even if that means giving up what he has to save it.
Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers Leave all your love and your longing behind You can't carry it with you if you want to survive
Good Grief - Bastille
When you make a place in your heart and your life for a kid who then disappears thinking he’s saving you, it’s not easy. They just want their boy back.
What's gonna be left of the world if you're not in it? What's gonna be left of the world, oh Every minute and every hour I miss you, I miss you, I miss you more
Sound the Bugle - Bryan Adams
Angus is a strong kid, but even he’s only eleven years old. He came very close to being suffocated, especially after learning what it’s like to have people who love and appreciate you. Avi and Johann didn’t realize it, but they gave him the nudge in the right direction that Angus really, really needed.
Then from on high, somewhere in the distance There's a voice that calls, "Remember who you are" If you lose yourself, your courage soon will follow So be strong tonight, remember who you are 
Naughty - Matilda: The Musical
Angus continues to be the bad child, by playing the repentant, good child. Maybe not what you imagine when you think of misbehaving, but it works out okay, doesn’t it? Imagine it playing over a montage of Angus swiping papers and secretly stashing a growing pile of evidence.
But nobody else is gonna put it right for me Nobody but me is gonna change my story Sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty
Something Wild - Lindsey Stirling
Angus knows where he wants to be, and it’s not in a cold and lonely house.
If you're lost out where the lights are blinding Caught and all the stars are hiding That's when something wild calls you home, home If you face the fear that keeps you frozen Chase the sky into the ocean That's when something wild calls you home
It’s My Turn - Casey Lee Williams
Like I said, I had to be very picky about which Weiss songs I chose. Two was my self-imposed limit, because I really couldn’t give this one up. Angus has a lot he wants to say to his parents, but they’re not worth wasting his breath on.
You were the one Who held me down and told me I was heading nowhere You said know your place Accept your fate and show good face And be thankful that you're there
I Bet My Life - Imagine Dragons
Angus came home a lot sooner than he could have hoped when he left. He’s also going to be grounded for eternity, but that’s okay.
Now remember when I told you that's the last you'll see of me Remember when I broke you down to tears I know I took the path that you would never want for me I gave you hell through all the years
Best Day Of My Life - American Authors
Most of Angus’ days are pretty great when he’s home. The day he comes back to his family is the best of them, and always will be.
I'm never gonna look back Whoa, I'm never gonna give it up No, please don't wake me now This is gonna be the best day of my life
Touch the Sky - Julie Fowlis
Angus gets to grow up happy and loved and knowing he can do anything he wants to do and his family will back him up. He’s got a lot of room to grow and he’s going to need every bit of it.
I will hear their every story Take hold of my own dream Be as strong as the seas are stormy And proud as an eagle's scream I will ride, I will fly Chase the wind and touch the sky
15 notes · View notes
magnificentsapcaddy · 7 years
Text
Your Number One Fan
Hey everyone. I know this isn’t usually my style, but I wrote a quick little fanfiction for The Adventure Zone. It’s not that long - it’s 1,825 words, so do what you will with that information. It’s just a little something I wrote about Taako getting his start with on the road with Sizzle It Up. When I get my AO3 account, I’ll post it there, but for right now, you can read it here. If you have any strong opinions one way or the other, let me know! It would mean a lot to me.
When Taako started out on the road, life was hard.
It was hard to draw a crowd for Sizzle It Up in the beginning. After all, it’s hard to build an empire from the ground up. If nobody knows you, nobody wants to see you, you understand. It’s tough out there in the entertainment business.
Taako was never shy - he a performer by nature, after all. When you’re playing to a crowd of less than ten show after show after show, though, it starts to wear on you. It doesn’t matter how charismatic you are, or how bold you act on stage - when you’re dealing with that level of inadequacy, that level of disappointment almost every night for weeks upon weeks, you start to break down. You lose hope.
Towards the end of this period, just when Taako was about to give up, a single ray of light shown down on him. He could still remember the first night it happened. He was playing to a crowd in some backwoods town where the population was five-hundred tops. There were maybe ten or twelve people in the audience - par for the course, really. It was some dive bar, one of those places where it legally had to call itself a tavern because you can’t market yourself as a brothel or a place to buy illicit drugs. There was no reason whatsoever for the night to be any different from any other.
And yet, it was. In the far back of the room, by the door, away from the stage, there was one person - a woman, Taako figured, but he never was totally sure - who absolutely loved his shtick. Every joke he cracked, every prop gag he did, every pun he made (no matter how corny), this lady would cackle and howl with laughter. When the dish was finished, she hooted and applauded, rising to her feet. It was the first standing ovation Taako ever received.
When Taako moved on to the next town to perform the next show, he noticed that the lady had followed him. She also followed him to the next show.
And the next.
And the next.
Taako was flattered, of course - anyone would be, I think. Taako was quick to pick up on the fact that his crowd sizes were growing exponentially - slowly now, but exponentially nonetheless. The reason for this quickly became apparent as Taako found that somebody truly gracious out there was putting up flyers for all his shows. Sometimes, before he even got into town, he’d notice that there would be flyers singing his praise on every street corner, lamp post, and  bulletin board in the area.
Eventually, he’d find that, if he asked around, somebody would’ve already booked a room at a local inn for him. All expenses paid, to boot! Sometimes, he’d even wake up to little care packages waiting for him outside his room. They were never anything that extravagant - a nice bottle of wine, a sprig of exotic spices, that sort of thing. Once, he even received a hand-made plush mongoose, which, admittedly, was a strange gift to get, but one he adored nonetheless. Of course, later down the road, this sort of treatment would become commonplace as his fan base grew, but now more than ever, it meant the world to him.
Taako didn’t need to think that hard about who this mystery patron was.
It was his number one fan.
This fan’s laugh was never hard to pick out of a crowd. Taako bet that if he played to all of Faerun and she was listening outside of the arena, in the parking lot or something, listening in on a Stone of Farspeech, he would still be able to recognize it. He’d even make jokes about the laugh every now and again - nothing mean-spirited, of course, just gentle ribbing. At one point, this mystery woman laughing was almost like a running gag. Someone who saw his Neverwinter show and someone from the Estagund crowd could have gotten together, and even if they had nothing else in common, they could both recognize and probably imitate that laugh.
Then, one day, as inexplicably as it had started, it stopped. Taako was on the west coast, preparing a nice mulligatawny for the crowd, the recipe for which he had picked up somewhere near the Bay of Kings. He cracked a dumb joke, something along the lines that he hoped if he screwed up the recipe that the audience would give him a “mulligan-tawny” for the night.
The crowd - about four-hundred strong by now - laughed at the intentionally forced pun.
But his number one fan didn’t.
He spent the rest of the night low-key anxious, trying to not to show how worried he was. He knew, logically, it shouldn’t have bothered him at all. But still, he felt like he was a kid again, going out into the world without his aunt to depend on.
After a few shows, when it was apparent that his fan-slash-benefactor was no longer following him, he found a quick fix. If he ever, for whatever reason, got nervous on stage, he’d just cast Prestidigitation and conjure up that laugh. And when he did it, it was just like she was there in the crowd again. He could mimic it perfectly - he had heard that laugh so much by that point, that he could reproduce it just as well as he could reproduce himself saying, “Let’s sizzle it up!”. He felt cheap about doing it some times - everybody feels kind of ashamed to use canned laughter - but it brought him comfort.
In his times of trouble - say, after a rough crowd, or after getting jumped on the road, or after a fight with Sazéd - Taako would go into his trailer and conjure up that laugh over and over again. He could never put his finger on it, but it was like having an old friend beside him to calm him down.
The was some closure, though, a couple years down the line. It was a few months before the Glamour Springs incident, a few months before Taako would put himself into exile, forever on the run. He was playing to a smaller crowd on the docks of New Astencher, a few miles west of Pyratar. This time, he was preparing a local specialty, a squid-based soup in which every part of the squid was used, including the beak. Near the start of the show, as he was getting ready to prepare the squid, he cast a simple spell on it and moved it around like a marionette, making it catwalk over to the chopping board. “Hey,” he declared, “watch the fuckin’ throne, Howdy Doody, I’m comin’ for ya!”
This would later become Taako’s favorite joke of all time, because it was the first laugh he heard his number one fan laugh at after so, so long.
It was different now. She sounded older, far, far older than she should have sounded, but it was still her. Taako performed the rest of the show with a manic sort of vim and vigor that he hadn’t had in a long time. It was like a puppy greeting his master after they’d been away. The audience ate it up. It would go down as one of his best shows of all time.
For the first time, Taako got to see what this fan looked like, kind of, since she was sitting out in the open. She had her face and most of her body covered with an old tattered, red robe. Even if he didn’t know what she looked like, Taako felt incredible actually getting to see her, to put, if not a face, a form to the laugh that more or less saved his life.
After the show, after he gave out samples to the audience, and after he did his meet and greet and has his publicity photos and went through all of the usual business again, he ran back to where his fan had been, hoping to find her, to thank her, to finally talk to her.
He didn’t. She was already gone by that point. However, he quickly spotted that on a windowsill laid an envelope, with his name written in flowery cursive on the front.
This is what it said:
Taako,
I am so incredibly proud of what you’ve become. I’ve been away lately - I’m sure you’ve noticed. I had to tend to my own personal business, you see. As fun as it was to be your “tour manager”, for lack of a better word, I had to lead my own life. I’m sure you understand. Nevertheless, I want you to know that I cannot apologize enough for leaving so abruptly. It hurt me more than you could ever imagine to have to leave you ą͡͞g̴̢͜͠a̡í̷͘ņ.
Taako couldn’t quite make out that last word. After trying to decipher it for a moment, he decided it was nothing more than an ink smudge, and moved on.
I know you don’t know me, but - and I hope that I don’t sound malicious - I know you very well. You probably don’t remember it, but I actually helped you buy your wagon and some of your cooking supplies. It was nothing big, but I’m glad that you’ve done well with what I gave you.
I don’t want to sound like a broken record, but I am so overjoyed to see what you’ve become. You have fame and fans and, gods willing, fortune. You’re everything I always knew you could be.
Taako, I’ll be honest with you - I don’t know if we’ll ever see each other again. I can’t talk about it, not right now, but I hope you believe me when I say that I’m trying to do great things, things that could change the world. Believe you me, Taako, as much as I love watching you cook and tell jokes and entertain, I have more important matters to attend to. And if some great misfortune should befall me before we ever have the opportunity to talk again, just know that you were a shining light in my life like no other.
I hope that I brought you as much comfort as you brought me pride.
With respect,
Your number one fan
Taako suddenly noticed that the paper was getting wet. He was crying. He quickly but carefully folded up the letter and put it in an inner pocket in his cloak before he wiped his eyes dry.
“Hey, Taako!” somebody yelled. It was a fan - not the fan, of course, just a fan. They wanted a picture with him.
He took a deep breath, cast Disguise Self on himself to make himself look more chipper, and went on with his business.
He would treasure that letter for the rest of his life.
4 notes · View notes
herbgerblin · 4 years
Text
taako gets (very politely) kidnapped by the bird king p.9
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | AO3
Taako was very young when he noticed the flock of birds. He and Lup would always go to the park right after school. The more time they spent outside, the less time they spent at home. The current relative they stayed with wouldn’t let them play games, or watch tv, or even read their favorite books. As soon as they got home it was cleaning, followed by a terrible dinner, followed by homework, followed by bed.
The twins would sit cross legged in the low hanging branch of a giant oak tree, resting not too far from the gazebo that stood in the middle of the park near their apartment complex. Lup would read a book on evocation, a book she had to con an older student out of since they weren’t supposed to learn higher levels of magic until they were in high school. Taako laid lazily on the more open end of the branch, watching as people jogged by or walked their dogs, half paying attention to whatever musician decided to perform in the gazebo.
Taako liked the way the birds would crowd around the structure’s roof as soon as the music started. It wasn’t often that it was good music. But still, they would gather and peek their little heads down, as if listening intently. Sometimes Taako would reach into his backpack, grab the remnants of a half eaten sandwich, and throw pieces of the crust to the birds. The birds would chirp and peck at the bread, seemingly appreciative.
“You should use bird seed instead of bread,” Lup said.
“You’re a bird seed,” Taako replied. Lup kicked his leg and Taako almost fell out of the tree. 
He made sure to bring some bird seed next time.
Taako’s eyes flutter open. Momentary confusion leaves him staring at the ceiling for an indiscernible amount of time. After a short mental assessment, he deems his faculties in working order. He’s laying on something soft, for sure. The area around him is quiet. So what happened?
Everything comes back to him slowly: falling through the portal, landing on the large bed in his chambers, passing the fuck out because that’s the second portal he’s entered through in the span on an hour, the sight of Kravitz looking like the God Damned Spectre of Death!
That particular thought launches Taako out of bed. He nearly trips over his own slippers, rushing across the large room and immediately going for the satchel hidden under the vanity. He moves the stool out of the way and grabs it, eyes darting around for anything else useful.`
“Taako!” says a voice, and Taako looks up to see the raven standing on the stool right beside him.
“You!” Taako exclaims. “You have to let me go!” The bird flies to the other side of the room. Taako turns and glares at her. “You brought me in here, you can let me out!”
“Kravitz,” the raven replies, puffing up her feathers.
“I don’t want to hear it,” Taako says. “Kravitz mentioned nothing about the warden of a fuckin’ ghost prison. And Taako’s not going to run the risk of being the next one sent there. You of all people should be sympathetic.” Any other time he’d be getting on his own case for arguing with a bird. But he was far too pissed to make light of the situation. 
“Caution,” the raven seems to urge. Taako scoffs.
He turns away from the bird and goes back to searching. Maybe for a spell component, something he can use to magic his own way out. His rummaging is interrupted by the sound of approaching footsteps. The doors to the chamber swing open and Lup rushes in, full of excitement.
“Holy fucking shit Taako!” She exclaims. She points to the windows, which Taako only just now takes the opportunity to notice.
The first thing that catches his eye is the fact that it’s day out. Early morning, judging by how dim the sunlight is. He can see through the windows that the sea is a deeper blue than the sky. But now, instead of its typical motionless, mirror like appearance, the sea is being stirred up in waves. A decent distance away, swarms of—something—surge just above the water’s surface. The something is dark and terrifying, cycling into a funnel like a hurricane. It approaches the castle steadily, churning even more water as it approaches.
The sight sends a shiver down Taako’s spine. “We have to go,” he says, tugging on her arm. 
“Go? What?” Lup asks. She gestures at the windows. “There’s a veritable ghost storm outside! Don’t you wanna go bust some ghosts?” 
Of course that’s where her investment lies, the nerd.
“I most certainly do not,” He replies. “I want to go home.”
“Home?” Lup asks, excitement dampening. She takes in the unsettled look in her brother’s face with some concern. “Wait, Taako. Did something happen with you and Krav?”
“Yeah, something happened,” Taako says. He starts walking towards the double doors. “A whole lot of spooky shit that cha’boy is ill equipped to handle right now.” He points at the bird, now perched on the back of a nearby couch. “Also the raven over here can make portals and didn’t tell me, and now she won’t let me leave.”
The raven begins to flap her wings at him, before there is a flash of magic around her, and she vanishes into thin air.
“I—That’s-” Lup’s eyes dart between Taako and the spot where the bird suddenly disappeared from, looking even more concerned. She grabs her brother’s hand and speaks to him gently. “I was in one of the libraries with Maggie when shit started hitting the fan. Davenport said some rogue spirits broke out of ghost jail or whatever, and the king had to go fend them off. I’ve been all over the castle trying to find you!”
“Yeah?” Taako asks. He heads to the door and pushes it open. “Well, you found me. And frankly, I’m pretty ready to check on out.”
“Listen, ko,” Lup says, trailing behind him. “I’ll jump ship with you, I will. But everyone else here seemed pretty calm about the situation. I think they have it under control.”
As soon as they access the bridge, they are hit with a terrible surge of wind. The hurricane, still far away, grows closer. The twins glance back at it momentarily, then keep going. 
“Look!” Lup says, pointing downward. They both catch sight of Lucretia, standing in the middle of the open platform a short distance below.
Lucretia waves her arms frantically, clearly casting a spell. A bright light shoots from her palms, and a shield goes up around the southern wing of the castle. The wind around it stops immediately. From the eastern and western sides, similar shields go up. The twins watch as a few birds flutter from the roofs of several chambers—some flock close to the castle like sentinels, the rest go out over the sea towards the legion of angry spirits.
“See,” Lup says. “They’ve got it.”
In the distance, the swirl of angry spirits still approach. Taako doesn’t trust that for a moment. He continues across the bridge and jingles his satchel of jewelry at her. “You’ve got your bag full of gold, right? I say we get it, and try to talk one of the guys into letting us go home.”
Lup sighs, but doesn’t bother trying to argue. “My room is just down the hall. I’ll grab my purse and see if I can find Barry. He might be able to help.”
The twins rush down the hallway. They come to the intersection in the center, where all the chambers connect. Barry, Magnus, and Merle are there, seemingly in discussion about the storm.
“There you guys are,” Barry says, as all three catch sight of the twin’s approach. “We should head further into the base of the palace, it’s a lot safer there than up here.”
“Hold on a second, babe,” Lup says, grabbing his hand. “Merle, you and Maggie go ahead outside; We’re going to need your help real quick.”
“Or you could come help us out!” Magnus says, getting all excited by the idea. “Creesh is good with the shields, but there are a looootta ghosties out there at the moment, and if we’re not careful, some could slip into the palace.”
“Davenport is out on the water already,” Merle says. “None of us were able to get a good view of the shore till the sun was up. He said he would patrol it and get back with a report.”
“Taako’s good out here,” Taako replies. “Actually, Taako’s not. Barold, could you conjure up a portal to our house?”
“You...you guys are trying to leave?” Barry asks, glancing from Taako to Lup. Lup bites her lip.
“Yeah,” Taako says. “The extended vacay has been fun, but uh...Taako’s done.”
“What about the king?” Merle asks. “You seemed pretty set on marrying him.”
“Well, you know what they say about shotgun weddings. You don’t—”
“GET DOWN!” Magnus shouts, leaping over the rest of them as a surge of wind breaks through the southern facing windows, sending shattering glass scattered everywhere. They all crouch under Magnus’s big, beefy frame, not peeking up until the wind changes direction. Merle quickly throws up a shield spell to make up for the broken windows.
“We need to get to the base of the castle,” Barry repeats. “We’ll sort everything else out later!”
“Ugh, fine!” Taako replies, already moving. “Let’s go!”
The group makes their way down a winding walkway that leads to the innermost section of the castle. There, a chamber stocked with food and supplies awaits them. Some of them take seats on milk crates, while others opt for wine barrels. Their movements kick up a bit of dusts, which send them all into a bit of a sneezing fit.
“Do you guys ever need to come down here?” Taako asks, casting prestidigitation to clear away some of the dust.
“Not really,” Merle replies. “The castle is pretty self-sufficient. And the stockade is usually kept pretty secure. The King checks it on his rounds every day.”
“Oh, I wonder,” Lup says, in a dramatic voice. “What could’ve caused the king to deviate from his daily rounds.” Her eyes fall on Taako. He sticks his tongue at her, and is tempted to conjure some more dust to fling in her direction.
Their banter is then interrupted by an unexpected broadcast.
“Guys, I need help!” says a voice that sounds a lot like Lucretia, carried through the air via the typical hallmarks of a messenger’s spell.
“What’s wrong?” Magnus asks, responding to the message. Another one follows quickly.
“The north, east, and west shield spells are holding fine, but I’m having trouble holding the south one, and the legion is coming this way. I need a distraction.”
“We’re on it!” Merle replies, hopping off his crate. He looks at the twins. “You two can stay here if you want.”
“No, I wanna come with!” Lup says, jumping up, all excitement. Her eyes dance with ideas. “If you did chill touch with frostbite, you might be able to freeze the legion to the sea.”
“That—” Barry starts, the gears turning in his head. “That could be a way of rendering it immobile.” He looks at Lup, starting to match her excitement. “Let’s go try it out.”
Lup beams and looks back at Taako. “Are you just gonna hang in here? By yourself?”
“Uh huh,” Taako says, crossing his arms and kicking back. “Taako’s good in here, thanks.”
“I think the future king consort needs to learn a thing about handling ghosties,” Merle says, smiling devilishly. He nudges Magnus with his elbow. “Don’t you, big guy?”
Taako’s eyes go wide. “Oh, no you don’t!”
But his protests fall on deaf ears as Magnus grabs him—sack of potatoes style—and leads the charge outside. “TEAM FIGHT! TEAM FIGHT!” he shouts. Taako kicks his legs and threatens to blast Magnus’s kneecaps off, but Magnus doesn’t stop as the five of them hurry out of the castle, and towards the beach.
As soon as they cross the fleeting remnants of Lucretia’s shield spell, the wind hits them again with terrifying force. They have to huddle against each other, each mage putting up their own smaller shield spells to fend of billowing clouds of sand.
“I’ll go first,” Lup says. As soon as they reach the water’s edge, she casts an ice blast on the water, forming a path on the surface. She quickly tests her weight one it, then runs headlong into the fray.
“Put me down, right now!” Taako demands. Magnus sets him on his feet, and Taako wastes no time hopping onto the ice path right behind Lup.
“Goofus!” Taako yells, keeping in pace with his sister. “What the hell are you thinking?”
“I’m thinking about seeing how far my magic can go!” Lup yells back.
As soon as they’re within 30 meters of the storm, Lup shoots off the necromantic spell directly into the heart of the legion. In sync, Taako follows up with an ice spell of his own, where the storm makes contact with the water. Seamlessly, the two spells combined stop the funnel from swirling. The air around them begins to dissipate. 
A flock of birds immediately descends upon the legion. One by one, they pull spirits from the horde and drag them into the sea. The twins look back towards the castle, and breathe a relieved sigh as the southernmost shield goes up, sturdy and secure. On the shoreline, they can see the others cheering for them.
Their revel is cut short, however, when the howling shrieks of angered souls erupt from within the frozen mass. They can see movement within, as those souls unaffected by the spells continue to churn, breaking down the ice surrounding the others.
“Shit,” Lup and Taako both breathe. The frozen water beneath them begins to crack. It’s only now that Taako remembers that he is still carrying the bag of jewelry, and that is adding to his weight upon the ice.
“Hey!” calls a voice from further out to sea.
They look up to see a small boat speeding towards them. It’s sleek and silvery white in the bright, morning sun. Manning the steering wheel is Davenport. He holds the wheel with one hand, and tosses a sturdy cord out to them with the other. 
“Grab on tight!” he shouts. Lup grabs it first, tossing the end to Taako. They both latch on as best they can, as the water beneath them becomes even more unstable.
The legion shifts, changing from a funneled storm to an eldritch beast. Tendrils of angry spirits whip about, desperately beating against the ice to break it apart. The birds fly away, unable to flock around the mass without getting struck.
It is here when Taako glances up and catches sight of Kravitz.
The king is not difficult to see. He floats high above the fight. His form alternates between a skeleton with great, breathtaking wings, and a flock of furious ravens. It is the former form that he is now, as he searches for a proper vantage point from which to strike at the storm. A tendril of angry spirits shoots out, and he dodges easily. But then another comes out just as quickly, and clips his wings. He falters in his flight, as a third strikes directly, taking hold. 
“Krav!” Taako yells. 
The tendril slams him against the surface of the water, and barrels the vestiges of the king of birds deep beneath the waves.
Taako casts a burst of brilliant sunlight, which pours down solidly upon the main portion of the swirling, moaning souls. They cry out as the light blinds them completely. The giant form falls apart, until they are separate mounds of discontent spirits. Their voices become screeching howls, as smaller tendrils shoot in the wizard’s direction.
“Watch out!” Davenport yells. He revs up the engine, and Taako and Lup grab onto each other. Taako stamps his foot, and the bit of ice that he’s left standing on transmutes into solid wood. Lup keeps her arms around him, as they are dragged back to the beach.
The rest of the birds swoop past them, surrounding the horde. The rest of the council watch in awe as the flock envelope the last of the legion, rendering it asunder, and wrenching it into the sea. This goes on for a time, until the last little bit slips under the waves, and the storm is no more. The wind ceases, and the sound deafens to a stand still.
Davenport stops right at the shore and turns the engine off. Taako and Lup trip over each other as they hit shallower waters. They both fall to their knees and desperately gasp for breaths.
Taako leans back into the sand, not even budging when the tide slinks up and soaks him a little bit. He can feel the adrenaline rush leaving his body. And all he can do is stare at the surface and try to calm his beating heart. It’s only when it starts to slow, that he looks down at himself, and realizes that the satchel he was carrying is gone. The strap of it must have come undone when he and Lup were dragged out of the water.
“That was fuckin’ sick!” Magnus comments, running down to meet them. Merle, Barry, and even Lucretia follow close behind.
“Thanks big guy,” Lup replies, as Barry helps her to her feet. She’s also soaked and covered in sand. But a smile breaks across her face. “Fuck, I could do that all day.”
“Let’s not encourage fate, shall we,” Lucretia suggests, but she is smiling also.
They help each other back up towards the castle, each regaling what they thought the best part of the whole situation was. Taako would usually preen at the amount of times his name comes up in the conversation. But as they enter one of the castle parlor rooms and take a moment to rest, his focus remains on the thing he had set out to find them for—
“Hey,” he asks, interrupting the conversation. “Can any of you guys portal us a way out of here?”
The smiles drop from everyone’s faces.
“You’re...leaving?” Magnus asks. His eyes immediately get big and watery, as he looks from Taako to Lup. “But we were thinking of playing a round of fantasy uno after dinner.”
“Yeah,” Merle adds, looking equally forlorn. “We were going to use the customized cards.”
“Sorry, fellas,” Taako says, a bit more taken by their sad expressions than he’d like to admit. “But Taako didn’t sign up to be a member of the midnight crew. Especially when I didn't know about ghost prison until two seconds ago.”
“The king of birds is also the keeper of souls and spirits,” Davenport replies. “It is his duty to maintain the balance of life and death, and one those duties is to garrison the souls kept in the Eternal stockade. I told you all this is the history lesson when you first got here!”
Taako’s face starts to feel warm. He did space out a bit when Davenport was talking, but none of what he recalled could’ve prepared him for the shock of it all.
“It doesn’t matter,” Lup says, seemingly agreeing. “Yeah, my brother’s a dumbass. But at the end of the day, the king should’ve been more forthright with this information.” She stomps her foot for emphasis. “And I’ll be damned if any of you try to hold me or my brother here against our wills.” 
“You agreed to be wed,” Lucretia points out.
“I said I would prepare to be wed,” Taako replies, crossing his arms. “Don’t try to pull any semantics bullshit on me, I know my fuckin’ rights!”
Davenport shakes his head. “You’ll need the king’s permission to leave the realm. Marriage or not.”
“Well, where is he?” Taako asks. By now he’s half expected Kravitz to pull himself out of the water, and portal into the chamber, pristine as ever.
Everyone quiets at that. They all glance at each other, seemingly expecting the same.
“He…” Lucretia says. “He’s probably resting.” But there is an uncertainty in her voice that makes Taako’s chest suddenly feel knotted up.
“Sometimes he has to recuperate after dealing with spirits from the stockades,” Davenport adds. He gestures at the wide windows. It’s midday, which, for all of them, is late sleeping hours. “I suggest we all get some shut eye, and consider presenting your case to him when we’re all in better spirits.”
Taako’s mind is too preoccupied by exhaustion to grumble in protest. All he can think about is the sight of Kravitz being dragged into the sea. The rest of the conversation fades out, but the knotted up feeling in his chest remains.
He eventually follows Lup back to their bedchambers. She doesn’t comment on his lack of chatter, but she does throw him a sideways glance or two.
He crosses the bridge to his bedroom, stopping to look at the beach down below. He notices something shiny along the shores edge, but he can’t make out what it is. He half remembers what Lucretia had said of falling stars and the sea, and half considers going down to the beach to see if that’s true. If he can collect some crystals to make up for the contents of the missing satchel. But he sighs to himself instead and heads into his chambers for a rest.
Down below, a flock of ravens gather at the seashore, carefully collecting small pieces of jewelry that have washed up in the sand.
121 notes · View notes