“Then Maedhros alone stood aside, but Fëanor caused fire to be set to the white ships of the Teleri.”
I’m experiencing Silmarillion feels again somebody help
I’m going to be 20 tomorrow..
and I kind of wish my birthday wasn’t happening. I used to really enjoy my birthday up until a few years ago when people started forgetting it. I should be excited, I guess? in the end it’s just another day. I have work to do and meetings to go to, and I won’t be celebrating because I don’t have anyone to celebrate with. I never even know what to ask for because all I ever want is for people to spend time with me, and this year that’s unfortunately not something I can ask for. I didn’t want to tell my friends because they’re all busy and it’s such a guilt trip to ask for their time for my 20th. there’s nothing special about it. even I have more important things to do.
I’m going to be so overwhelmed if people wish me happy birthday tomorrow. it’s been a lot of years of bribing people to celebrate with me and,, I mean, even my parents don’t. I already don’t know how to respond to positive attention or praise, and when people show they care about me I’m just shocked. idk what I ever did to deserve such a loving online community, but you all make me really happy and I couldn’t ask for more. I hate that I’m not happy and excited right now, it’s usually not so hard to be upbeat. and of all days of the year, my own birthday should be one to be excited for... I’m going to do what I can to wake up happy tomorrow, and then maybe I’ll have a good day :) it’s hard to believe I deserve anything, but I do think I deserve that at least.
damn, remember ask superyogs?
these have all been waiting to be posted since like 2019.
under the cut i’m gonna post all the secrets and unfulfilled plans i had for the comic that i can think of or remember. definitely feel free to ask any questions if you got them. feeling nostalgic.
plans i had for the plot
X becomes Xephos as seen in the last halloween special. rythian would take him to the headquarters and tawny would hit him with a steel chair until he convinces her he’s good now (he’s not). eventually he was going to get himself killed to play one last joke by driving tawny truly as mad as himself. maybe it would have worked, maybe not. to top it off, lying was going to bring him back, but since X is “the only me”, he’d be off. maybe just a real xephos again, maybe some slightly alternate X.
Nilesy would find out Parv is the one who murdered his granddad. parv would try to explain himself only for nilesy to shun him, showing mercy despite wanting nothing more than to kill parv. nilesy’s rejection breaks parv’s heart and strife pushes him to go full monster, forcing nilesy to end parv by pulling the blood out of his body, killing him.
rythian would have to fight the ender dragon queen, who would probably come to the real world by becoming a hot dragon lady or using rythian’s body as a vessel or something. the queen plus the resurrection of israphel would cause the greatest threat to reality so far, forcing all the villains and heroes to team up and defeat them.
Steve? would put on a giant hulkbuster mecha and eventually get forced out of it, and a villain would say something like “without your fancy suit youre just a stupid kid”, and steve? would pull out a “diamond sword” (a full on lightsaber) and do a few cool things and tragically die.
khaz would recover, but be completely unable to hero again. the ghost of xephos would tell him it’s time he stops fighting for xephos and to start living for honeydew.
kim and lalna would eventually free themselves from DoG again, and bebop would reveal he’s already had a real robo body made and ready to upload himself into.
DoG would go more into how his brain is decaying due to his powers and basically holding itself together with cosmic stardust. someway somehow, after he and the supers save the world from israphel and the ender queen, he’d get his comeuppance and the old Ridge would come back very briefly to say something tragic, and he’d basically fade away.
the comic where zoey designs her new arm’s tools was to foreshadow that she was eventually gonna save someones life using the umbrella attachment, and also somehow make an APC with it.
sipsman’s arc was pretty much done. due to IRL fallout, s*inergy would have faded heavily in importance, sipsman as a character likely would have suffered a bit as a side effect.
kim would finally lose her flux mutations, but reveal that her entire body was flux, and she would have an ultimate anime form where she turns into some glowing nude power woman and destroy DoG’s facility singlehandedly.
nilesy is the strongest super in the series. he is basically THE god of water, but doesn’t know it.
lying and sipsman were my favorite characters to draw
tawny was the hardest character to draw
steve? is in love with tawny, who would violently reject him and eventually have to apologize. ross also fell in love with tawny but no one would ever find out.
parv was difficult because i never knew how far to take his gimmick. i always worried he was offensive or triggering to people who suffer with self injury issues. i remember i saw a tag that said something like “thank you for parv, he really helps with my issues” and i was like “h-how?”
yeah im pretty sure parv and strife were gettin’ down too. but parv had a crush on nilesy too.
kims mutations would have been way cooler or more severe if i had been better at drawing at the time.
i believe zoey appears the most of any character. she was the easiest girl to draw and during the comics run i wasnt very good at drawing girls so i used her as practice.
there’s probably more but i cant think of it right now. if you read this far, thanks for everything. superyogs will forever be a huge chunk of my life and i have it to thank for how far i’ve come with art today and hopefully, i’ll go even farther.
hope you all enjoyed superyogs while it lasted.
Cabin Fever, Pt. 2
A/N: Hoooookayyyy, here it is, FINALLY. I am so sorry it took me over a month to complete part two, I've been struggling a bit and had a major writer’s block on top of it. But hey! It's here now, and softer than ever! Did I expect this to turn out the way it did? No. Am I mad? Absolutely not.
Warnings: Angst, some fighting, alcohol consumption, Crosshair being a jerk as always, hurt/comfort, smut, PiV unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it irl!!!), porn with plot/ porn with feelings, this will get soft y’all. 1 mention of Y/N.
Here’s the link to part 1!!
|| Crosshair x reader
Word count: 5k (oops)
Rating: 18+ ONLY! MINORS BE GONE, RESPECT MY BOUNDARIES.
It was awfully quiet aboard the Havoc Marauder. Usually, everyone would be celebrating or chatting away happily, but not this time. The last mission was tough.
You and Crosshair had been rescued from the Cabin by your squad about 36 hours after you had discovered it and found shelter there.
The boys were all so relieved to see you and Wrecker even gave you a big hug, Hunter regarded You and the sniper suspiciously but didn’t say anything, though he did sniff the air with a slightly disgusted expression.
Everyone had suffered some form of hypothermia or other injuries and were resting up now. Echo was feeling the worst, his body was very sensitive to extreme temperature since they rescued him from the Citadel. After having tended to him and made sure he was comfortably asleep, you allowed yourself to take a break as well.
You were mostly fine, physically at least. You had a heated blanket wrapped around you and leaned against the viewport of the ship, watching the stars streak by.
What happened with Crosshair at the Cabin… you just couldn’t get it out of your head; or your heart. After you slept together, You didn’t speak much. You just held each other and shared some more kisses, providing warmth and comfort.
But, as soon as your squad arrived, that warmth was gone. It felt like someone had abruptly turned off a movie at the best part, kicked the TV screen and threw the disc out of the window.
Crosshair hadn’t even spoken to you since you left.
You knew he was right there, in the Cockpit. You knew you could just go and talk to him. The problem was, you didn’t know what to say or ask.
Maybe you were afraid of being rejected or hurt, maybe it was just that you were incredibly shy when it came to confrontation of things that genuinely bothered you. But you had to prepare yourself for the possibility that what happened between you too would forever stay in that small, abandoned Cabin on Kijimi.
You sighed, giving yourself a stretch. A steaming mug of Tea would help you wind down, you figured.
After getting up from your makeshift bunk and trotting over to the water boiler, you discovered that the Cockpit door was open, and Crosshair was relaxing on the Pilot’s seat with a book. You smiled to yourself when you saw what he was reading; it was one of the books you had purchased on a beautiful Jungle planet after a mission. You didn’t know he had a thing for romance novels.
If the sniper was also wrecking his brain over what happened yesterday, he sure as hell wasn’t showing it. He looked calm, collected and a little generally pissed off, like always.
It couldn’t go on like this, you decided. Avoiding each other wouldn’t get you anywhere. You grabbed your mug and softly knocked at the door frame to the cockpit, causing Crosshair to finally look up.
He didn’t say anything, he just looked at you with an expression that was impossible to read.
“Can I sit?” You asked timidly, pointing to the seat next to his.
He shrugged and nodded, going back to reading the novel. You had to swallow down the small amount of anger bubbling up in your stomach, reminding yourself that that’s just what he was like.
“So… you doing okay?” You asked, playing with the string of the tea bag dangling from your hot beverage.
The sharpshooter nodded and flicked the toothpick between his thin lips from one corner to the other. You once again had to suppress a physical reaction to that.
“That’s good… me too” You started. There was an awkward pause, the tension in the room so thick you could cut it with a dagger. “I was wondering if… uhm… if you’d like to talk?” You finally asked.
Crosshair looked up again, raising a brow. “About what?” he asked, as if it wasn’t completely obvious what you were talking about.
“About… What happened on Kijimi… Between us” You said slowly, your heart thumping in your chest so hard you could hear it ringing in your ears. You were very nervous, and you weren’t even sure what you were gonna say! ‘I think having you fuck my brains out made me realize that you’re not so bad after all and i wanna get caf sometime’ wasn’t gonna cut it.
“We had sex, so what? We’re adults, it happens.” The sniper shrugged and flipped over a page.
You let out an little, though offended, scoff. “Really Crosshair?”
Your opponent looked bothered by your sheer presence. “What’s your problem? You didn’t seriously think that this would be more than a one time thing, did you?” He inquired. You were speechless. Heartbroken, even.
“Listen. We were both alone, there was a lot of tension, we were going stir crazy. It was a way to occupy time and keep warm. Nothing more than fun” He added, spitting out his toothpick and popping a new one in his mouth.
You were still rendered baffled, staring at him with wide, glossy eyes. You felt so dirty and used, like a warm washcloth he used to get his relief that was then tossed away. Like you were nothing.
It didn’t add up to you. He’d kissed you so tenderly. He held you and cared for you, stroked your spine until you fell asleep, played with your hair in awe.
You felt silly and stupid for thinking that your night together meant anything to him. That you meant anything to him.
You opened a closed your mouth a couple of times, wanting to yell, wanting to sob and scream at him, but nothing came out, no matter how hard you tried. It was like your feelings were so much, they clogged your throat and didn’t let any words out.
You took a deep breath. Arguing about this was pointless. If this was how things would be, fine then. You took your mug and poured it over the opened pages of the book, turning them soggy and unreadable. Good thing you’d already finished that book.
He clenched his fists and glared at you, but you really didn’t care. At least, you didn’t want to let him know that you did. Without another word, you left the cockpit, your heart having sunk to the pit of your stomach.
You cried a lot that night. Silently, but a lot. You cursed yourself for letting this instance hurt you so badly, for letting yourself catch feelings for the grumpy sharpshooter.
After a few hours, Hunter woke up from his senses telling him that something wasn’t right. He sought you out and found you curled up on your bunk. “Hey kid, what’s going on?” He asked gently, sitting down on the edge of the mattress.
“N-nothing, i’m okay Hunter” You lied with a sniffle, wiping at your eyes; feeling guilty and embarrassed for waking the sergeant up.
“You’re not a good liar, kiddo. Tell me what’s bugging ya” Hunter gave you a gentle pat to the hand.
You hesitated. This was a very private matter, and the sergeant was Crosshair’s brother, too. But you were so vulnerable and heartbroken right now, you really needed someone to talk to. In the past, Hunter has always offered you a shoulder to cry on and kept your secrets safe.
After a moment, you were ready ro speak. “O-okay… you see, when we were on Kijimi in that Cabin… Well, one thing led to another with Crosshair and then-“ You started, and Hunter raised his hand a little.
“I know, ad’ika. I sensed what happened. Did he hurt you? I swear to the force I'm gonna make him regret it” He immediately promised, clenching his fists.
“N-no no! He didn’t hurt me! Well, not when we… you know” You blushed a little. “But… he did hurt me just now” The confession came out with a sigh.
“What happened?” He pushed ever so gently.
“I don’t know, he’s just being an ass! I wanted to talk to him about what happened and he… didn’t care? At all? About anything. He said that he only did it because essentially, he was bored and i was warm… i… i feel so used and dirty now… from the way he treated me in the cabin… i thought it meant something to him” You whispered the last part, fumbling with the blanket in your lap. “We’re squadmates, how am i gonna work with him from now on?”
“One thing you have to know about Crosshair is that he doesn’t always mean what he says.” Hunter reasoned, wrapping an arm around your shoulders protectively.
“Oh, he sounded pretty honest to me” You scoffed before crossing your arms with a sad sigh.
“He’s very convincing sometimes. Now, I can't look into his mind, kid. I don’t know what’s truly going on and I wasn't there when it happened. But you should try to approach him again, maybe at a different time. If you explain that he hurt you, he will apologize.” the sergeant said.
You considered his words for a moment. You didn’t want to speak to him again, let alone see his stupid face anytime soon. “And where would that get us? That still wouldn’t make him care, Hunter.”
“I don’t know what to tell you, to be honest. But i think he cares more than you realize. Both of you” He said. He gave your knee a pat. “I’m gonna go and rest up. If you need me, i will be in my bunk” He said.
And with that, you were alone again with your thoughts.
A few weeks later, you found yourself wearing a dress a little too short for your liking while seated in the booth of a bar on a mid-rim planet.
The Bad Batch decided it was time that they unwind for a bit after all these stressful missions that just melted together into one big one.
Somehow, Wrecker convinced you to wear that dress you bought a few months back and had always kept on the ship, in case you needed it for an undercover mission or something.
Initially, when you had put it on, you felt very confident, especially after making Tech blush ever so slightly and him complimenting you.
But now you were irritated, the music that was being played wasn’t your taste, Wrecker got more and more annoying with each shot he downed, and then there was that damned sniper, who hadn’t talked to you in weeks and was now giving you subtle yet very strange looks.
You tried to gather the courage to talk to him on multiple occasions, but it was never the right time, or you backed out at the last moment. But now, with two shots of Kashyykian vodka coursing through your veins, you finally had the balls to slam your hand on the table.
This bullshit would end now.
“You, outside, now.” You looked the sniper dead in the eyes and got up, striding towards the entrance of the bar confidently.
For a moment, you thought you just made a fool of yourself, storming out like that and him just remaining cool and collected in his seat. But to your relief, his tall figure appeared in the door a few moments later.
“What do you want” He asked flatly, with a hint of annoyance as he plopped a toothpick into his mouth. They were the peppermint kind, you could smell them from where you stood across from him. You could also smell the cologne on his warm skin, it made you weak in the knees and you had to suppress the urge to press your nose to that special spot behind his ear.
“Sit” You invited him rather coolly, indicating to a nearby bench.
He followed you, sitting down next to you but turned away slightly. He stared off into the night sky, as if you weren’t there. But you could tell from the way he bounced his knee slightly, he was nervous.
“What the fuck are you playing, Crosshair?” You finally asked, causing him to turn his head towards you. “Don’t give me that look,” You continued, “You know what i am talking about. Listen, i… maybe I misinterpreted your actions in that cabin. Maybe I shouldn't have let it happen, and I definitely shouldn’t have caught feelings for you,” the admission came out without you even realizing, “But that doesn’t give you the right to…. to hurt my feelings. But hey, I didn't expect you to care. Especially not for what I am feeling because of you and your words. Regardless-“
But he cut you off. “Who said I don't care?” He almost hissed. You gave him a dumbstruck look. “Uhm… you? When you said the sex meant nothing and it was just a way ‘way to occupy time and keep warm’, if i may quote you” You crossed your arms over your chest, effectively silencing him.
“As I was saying. Regardless of what is going on on a personal level, I need you to respect me and my feelings, as your squad mate. I don’t even expect an apology, I just… needed to say this.” You concluded.
He didn’t say anything. Did nothing but roll another toothpick between his fingers that were resting on his lap.
You suppressed the urge to roll your eyes and quickly stood, intending to head back to the ship. Once again, you felt stupid. Stupid for thinking you could get somewhat of a reasonable response from in, elicit any sort of emotions in that man
. But Crosshair’s hand caught your elbow, making you stop and turn around. “What???” You hissed.
“I’m…I’m sorry” Came the whispered apology, and finally, his eyes met yours. You’ve never heard these words leave his lips, at least not in a serious manner like this. His eyes said it too; he regretted the way he made you feel.
For what felt like eternity, neither of you moved an inch or said anything. You just stared at each other like two deers caught in headlights. Until he broke the silence.
“You of all people should know that… I tend to say things that I don't mean” He admitted, and you softened. Slowly, you sat back down, close enough so your knees were touching. That made him sigh a small sigh of relief.
“I… I didn't know that. So I'm gonna need you to tell me what you actually intended to say that day. What that night actually meant to you” You said boldly, yet gently.
You could see the Sniper’s Adam's apple bob as he swallowed, trying to form words. Trying to *find* words. He seemed to be struggling, at war with himself as if this situation made him incredibly uncomfortable.
Crosshair never told anyone, and he wasn’t sure he could tell you now, but he has had feelings for you ever since you joined the squad. He just knew he could never have you, knew that he would just end up hurting you. And from the way you always spoke to Hunter, he even figured you had a thing for the Sergeant.
For the longest time, he managed to somewhat ignore his feelings. He only admired you discreetly, he silently dreamed of you and your beautiful soul every so often, and he only touched himself to the thought of you when absolutely no one was around.
His plan worked like a charm, up until the mission on Kijimi came. He knew when he was paired with you that he was responsible, that he had to look out for you and make sure you were okay.
Something inside him snapped when you were in that cabin. It was the first time you needed him, and damn, you looked beautiful when you slept peacefully. So, one thing led to another, and all those feelings he had mastered to suppress now came bubbling up to the surface again, and he felt vulnerable.
He couldn’t find the right words to tell you that he adored you.
And the sharpshooter just couldn’t take it anymore. If he couldn’t tell you what he felt, he would show you. Before you even realized it, his hands cupped your jaw and he kissed you, gentle yet hard, shyly yet desperately.
You were stunned for a solid few seconds, but no person in their right mind could resist kissing those soft lips back.
With your hands now wrapped around the back of his neck, you almost thought he was going to take you right there on this bench, but he once again took you by surprise.
He pulled back and leaned his forehead against yours. “Damnit Y/N, I… m’ not a good man, okay? You deserve better than me. Someone who won’t break your heart, someone who can show you what he feels for you. Show you how incredible you are.” He whispered.
Your heart skipped a beat and you reached up to cup his cold cheek in your warm palm. “But what if there is no one better than you? What if I want you for who you are, want whatever you are willing to share?” You whispered in return, opening your eyes to smile at him.
He still seemed at war with himself. “I’m not good for you. I don’t wanna influence you in a bad way. You’re perfect the way ya are” He murmured.
You chuckled softly, brushing your thumb over his lower lip. “If I wanted good influence, I wouldn't be part of this squad” you grinned, causing him to crack a smile as well.
“Apology accepted, Cross. Let’s be friends again” You concluded, and he shook his head.
He couldn’t go back to the way things were, not now that he had laid his cards open for you to see, not now that you patched things up again.
“Not friends. You were never just my friend” He admitted quietly, his eyes soft in a way you’ve never seen.
“I know, for the longest time, you were my pain in the ass” You giggled, causing him to roll his eyes in a playful manner.
“Like I said, i… am not a good man. But… I’ll try. For you. If you’ll have me, that is” The sniper gave your knee a squeeze, causing you to bite your lip cutely.
You said nothing, but you knew you didn’t need to. You pressed your lips to his, knowing that he understood. Of course you would have him. You wanted nothing more in this galaxy.
“Cmon, you big grump. Let’s go back inside before the others worry” You encouraged, offering him your hand. He gladly took it, and you decided you could definitely get used to this.
Later that night, everyone, now in various stages of drunkenness, headed back to their own rooms in the inn that they had booked. They were all getting claustrophobic on the Marauder and wanted to sleep in a real bed for once.
Hunter had booked three rooms, and the gentleman that he is, he offered you to get one for yourself. That’s where you were right now, getting changed into something comfortable and brushing out your hair, when you heard a knock.
You walked to the door barefoot to open it, and found Crosshair standing in the dimly lit hallway, towel tucked under his arm. “Hey.. can I shower here? Wrecker’s jerking off in ours” he sighed but offered you a little smile.
You giggled. “Of course, come in! I was feeling lonely anyways” You admitted, closing the door behind him once he entered.
While he was in the shower, you sat on the squeaky bed and were deep in thought, processing everything that had happened today. You woke up with a broken heart that morning, disappointed and hurt, but now you would go to bed with a bright smile and butterflies in your stomach.
You’d seen a completely new side of him earlier. Never in a million years would you have known how gentle he could be, let alone the feelings he had for you.
All of a sudden, you wanted more. You wanted what you had in the Cabin, but make it feel *real* this time.
Listening to the running water was exciting, in a way. You knew that Crosshair was in there, naked, and you could just walk in if you really wanted to. After all, he didn’t lock the door.
But that wouldn’t be appropriate and respectful, you concluded. Still, your brain started conjuring up images that you would definitely remember for a later point in time…
The water turned off, and a few minutes later, Crosshair came out in nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist, clothes neatly folded in his hand.
“You don’t have to leave, you know” You blurted out, eyes glued to his chest. His skin still glistened from the shower he just took and he smelled so *damn* good, you started to drool.
He smirked. “Sure you want me to stay? We both know what happened the last time we shared a bed” He said, putting his clothes down on a nearby table. Honestly, he wouldn’t mind not sharing a room with Wrecker tonight. That way, the gentle giant could have the bed to himself and the sniper could snuggle up to a warm, soft body he’d admired for so long.
“I wouldn’t mind it happening again” You whispered, looking up at him. He was now in front of your sitting form, abs right in your face. He didn’t give you long to look at them, though, as he used a curled finger to tilt your chin up.
“I don’t wanna force it. Wanna do this right.” He insisted softly, and god damnit, you could feel the heat radiating off his body and onto your face.
“Then let’s do this right. Do *me* right” You said, rising to your feet slowly. Was this a bad idea, you thought, would this ruin everything that you just patched back up with him?
But all of those worries melted away when he kissed you for the second time that day, and once again surprised you just with how gentle he was.
That’s how you ended up on the bed, with him on top of you caging you in. His towel had slipped off in the process, but even though he was tempted to rut his hips against yours, he remained still. Your kisses got deeper and deeper, until eventually, you couldn’t help but moan into it.
His tongue swept against your lower lip, asking for entrance, which you granted him. It wasn’t a battle of who could have the upper hand, like it was the last time you two were intimate, this was so different. He was gentle, touching the warm muscle against yours so softly as if you were the most delicate heap of whipped cream for him to lap up and enjoy.
You felt his hands wander, slipping under your shirt to touch your completely bare skin, mapping out every inch of your body.
There wasn’t a time in your life where you had felt so cared for and precious. On one hand, you wanted to show this beautiful side of the sniper to the whole world, to prove that he does care and is the most wonderful lover.
On the other hand… the thought that he only treated you in this way made you feel special.
He took his time with you, just kissing your lips, face and neck delicately, as if he was scared to break or hurt you, and you didn’t even care if this led to sex or not. This already made your whole damn day, week, hell, *life*.
When one of his hands reached the hem of your panties, you felt his voice right by your ear. “May I touch you here?” He murmured in a low baritone that caused you to whimper.
You spread your legs more and nodded, capturing his lips in a bruising kiss.
His slender fingers slipped under the smooth fabric of your underwear and found your heat, spreading the dampness around with two digits.
“You’re so karking beautiful” He whispered, sucking on your neck to make sure he left his mark for all to see. You moaned when his middle finger started to circle your clit, arching your hips up into his touch.
Crosshair couldn’t believe that this was real life. Finally, after so many months, he could pour his feelings into every delicate touch, every soft kiss and every word he murmured into your ear. He had fantasized about this very moment countless times, and he would not disappoint.
Your moans were music to his ears. He slowly inserted one finger, then another, pumping ever so gently as if he wanted to caress your inner walls like he did to your skin just moments ago.
“Is this okay?” He murmured, nuzzling your face, and you swore you would burst into tears if he kept being this sweet and caring.
“Y-yeah… been longing for this” You moaned out in response, circling your hips in time with each stroke of his fingers. “But I want all of you”.
You opened your eyes and reached for his length, which, to your surprise, was already hard and waiting to be tended to. He hissed in surprise and pressed his fingers against that spongey part inside of you, causing you to yelp and squeeze your fingers around him.
He smirked softly. “There it is” He chuckled with a knowing expression, voice a bit hoarse from the way you pumped his shaft.
After working your G-spot for just another moment, he removed his fingers and rolled on top of you to replace them with his cock, blunt tip prodding at your entrance.
“Are you sure you want this?” He asked, one hand on the side of your head to stabilize himself, the other holding himself in place and ready to slide in.
You held his soft gaze and nodded, leaning up to kiss you. “I want you” You whispered, your legs wrapping around his hips almost on their own.
He connected his forehead with yours as he pushed in inch by inch, a long, relieved groan coming from the back of his throat to match your quiet moans.
Fucking hells, is that what love felt like? Cause whenever you had sex with people in the past, you didn’t feel your heart being at the brink of explosion, you didn’t feel like you wanted to give every inch of yourself to that person, didn’t feel like if you died right now, you would die a happy woman.
Your train of thought was cut short when he started rolling his hips into yours. Not like in the cabin, where he slammed his cock into you like he wanted to permanently nail you into the bed, no. He did this like he wanted to feel every little ridge and bump deep inside you, like you were precious and needed to be worshiped.
The sniper’s name fell from your lips like a prayer, causing him to moan- not groan, not grunt, not hum- full on *moan*, and it was a beautiful sound that you were keen on hearing again and again.
Even though you two merely rolled your bodies against one another, the bed beneath you started to squeak with each time Crosshair reached that furthest spot inside of you. It made you giggle breathlessly, and Crosshair grinned, never stopping his gentle assault on your wet heat.
“You’re so fuckin’ beautiful… so beautiful” He panted softly, pushing your shirt up to your neck to expose your breasts. With a satisfied hum, he leaned down to take a hardened nipple into his mouth, sucking and nibbling gently.
Your head was absolutely spinning by now, hands clawing at his back and shoulders, your heart throbbing inside of your chest.
“Cross, i think-“ you whimpered, already feeling that beautiful high approaching. It hasn’t been long, but all the buildup to this very moment had you more than ready.
“Me too…” he surprised you with his words, picking up the pace just a little and reaching a hand down to massage your nub. “Cum with me, mesh’la.” the sniper almost pleaded, his voice becoming strained.
The moan you let out when your orgasm washed through your body was muffled by Crosshair’s lips, he swallowed down every sound and echoed it back to you.
Feeling you clenching around him was all it took for him to reach his crescendo as well, spurts of white hot release coating your insides, making you one.
You two remained like this for a while, just breathing with and holding one another, hearts beating in tandem. Eventually, though, the sharpshooter became a bit heavy.
“Sweet stuff… crushing me…” You chuckled, gently nudging him off of you. You hissed at the loss of contact when his soft member slipped out of you.
“Heh, sorry” He apologized, opting to pull you onto his chest instead. “That was…”
“Yeah, i agree” You said, causing a chuckle to rumble low in his chest. Your eyes met his and you couldn’t help but sigh happily. “I’m glad we were able to sort things out”
“Me too. And… and I meant it, you know. Wanna start being better at… at this” Crosshair murmured, playing with your hair adoringly.
You leaned up to kiss him, lips slotting perfectly against his own.
Yeah, this could work.
A/N pt 2: I know the actual smut part is kinda short, but lemme tell you, sometimes good sex only takes 5 minutes irl, so it’s all good. Good nasty times don’t have to last an hour babes! I still hope you enjoyed it, please let me know if you want a follow up to this or works similar to this! Reblogs and comments are so appreciated <33333
Tags: @nahoney22 @notreallybeccab @findinghiddentruths @lackofhonor @jennrosefx @pgangler @essadaliz @discofern @mikaiyawa @kaorikizumi @in-the-crosshairs @darkangel4121 @imalovernotahater @essadaliz Couldn’t tag a bunch of you, sorry:/
(let me know if you wanna be added in future stuff!)
Hunxi congrats with the progress on the QianQiu subs translation!!! 🥳 (I'm so excited!)
I also saw you read svsss, oh my! I loved your LBH meta! Can you also do one on SY!SQQ please? Would love to have your thoughts on this chaotic unreliable narrator! And also maybe the Bingqiu relationship from Shen Yuan's side?
ty, I'm so close to finishing the 《山河剑心》 subs that I can TASTE IT--
so I've been sitting on this ask for who knows how long because I’ve been trying to track down a single coherent thought about Shen Yuan!Shen Qingqiu in my brain and every time I think I've got a handle on his character I uncover something else, slippery bastard that he is (affectionate)
I'm still not sure I've got a handle on his character but this ask isn't going to write itself no matter how hopefully I stare at it, so here goes
some housekeeping! the first is that in this post, all iterations of "Shen Qingqiu" refer to Shen Yuan!Shen Qingqiu unless explicitly noted otherwise
the second is that I think that there's a distinct possibility that I am Overthinking Simple Things Again, especially because I firmly believe authors should be allowed to not think through Every Single Exhaustive Detail of Their Narrative, so like, it's very possible I'm reading far more into Shen Yuan/Shen Qingqiu's character than I should be, maybe he really is just as simple as a webnovel fan who gets transmigrated into his favorite love-to-hate textual disaster
but I gotta live up to my blog header (心怀杂念，字数无量), so buckle up, I guess we’re doing this
when scraping together the remnants of sentient thought in my brain for this ask, I tried to start with basic premises about Shen Qingqiu that I thought I could rely on. so, premise: Shen Qingqiu is an ordinary dude who gets transmigrated into a shitty webnovel and tries his best to survive
except he isn't, right? first of all, it's not just any webnovel -- it's a 600+ chapter disaster of a work that nevertheless has legions of rabid fans, that suckered him into caring about it somehow, that once perhaps held some potential for becoming Something Great but whose author summarily sold out for the hit count and the money. second of all, Shen Yuan isn’t just any reader, is he? he's PIDW's greatest anti-fan, bitterly dedicated to reading every single amateurish word while writing essays about how bad each new development is (never forget that Shen Yuan was so loud about this that Shang Qinghua, the literal author, recognized Shen Yuan’s web ID amidst thousands of comments). He's someone who continued reading this book for the plot when several hundred chapters ago it devolved into gratuitous PWP
so, not quite your average reader then. he’s also gifted with an exceptional memory (of the monster catalog, and what little plot there is), more investment in the characters than he'd like to admit (again -- he read all 600+ chapters for the plot), and genre/narrative savviness (he knows how these stories go, and more particularly how this story goes, and can therefore manipulate aspects of worldbuilding to his advantage)
and the more I thought about this, the more I couldn’t square the words “ordinary” and “Shen Yuan/Shen Qingqiu” in my head, because despite what his narration would imply (the only premise I honestly feel confident in truly declaring is that Shen Qingqiu is a comically unreliable narrator), he’s really quite exceptional in many ways
I touched on it briefly in this post, but again and again, what stands out to me about Shen Qingqiu is that, well -- he’s a decent person
I’m not sure ‘kind’ is the right word, or ‘compassionate,’ or ‘loyal,’ or ‘self-sacrificing,’ because it honestly feels a little silly to throw such Big, Dramatic Words at the insane roller coaster ride of SVSSS, a text which actively satirizes the romanticization of such virtues, but at the same time, all of those words can be used to describe Shen Qingqiu. He’d probably 疯狂吐槽 laugh at me for it, but I defy anyone to explain the entire 圣陵 uhh... demonic mausoleum? arc to me without using those words
and when it comes down to it, Shen Yuan/Shen Qingqiu is, well... decent. He’s not a grand, larger-than-life, self-sacrificing hero the way, say, Xie Lian is, but he also has a bottom line where he will put his foot down, so help him System, and we see him go to great lengths to do what he believes is right -- hell, not even the right thing, just the basic, decent, human thing to do
again (gesticulates wildly) the entire Demon Mausoleum arc; it’s particularly telling that chapter 60 ends with the line: “不过，还好，总算这次没坑了洛冰河。” / “Though, it was fine -- at least this time, he hadn’t screwed over Luo Binghe.” What’s fine? Oh, that’s right--the fact that he’s been severely injured and infected by yet another a crippling, parasitic magical plot device in defense of Luo Binghe. Shen Qingqiu just does this repeatedly throughout the narrative, downplays some truly incredible moments of selflessness/self-sacrifice with his unending internal sass, recasts any genuine emotion he might be having as frustrated exasperation at a terribly-written plot/badly-built world. but like. are we gonna talk about the fact that Shen Qingqiu is casually tortured multiple times throughout this webnovel or like--
again, the Demon Mausoleum arc is the gift that just keeps giving, here:
Shen Qingqiu was resigned to his shit luck, but that didn’t mean he wanted other people to also suffer his shitty luck. He pressed one hand to his heart and barely managed to maintain the expression on his face: “Whatever torture you’d like to inflict on me, please feel free. Like you said, after drinking so much [demon blood], I should be used to it now. But don’t even think about taking Luo Binghe’s body.”
Shen Qingqiu hated those characters who were held hostage the most; he’d rather die than play such a role.
sure, we have some characteristic Shen Qingqiu snarky genre commentary at the bottom there, but let’s not overlook the fact that Shen Qingqiu said to Tianlang-jun, the greatest archvillain that was never realized in the original PIDW (except that the real villain was the evil demonic sword we carried with us all along), do what you like to me, but don’t even think about touching Luo Binghe
and Shen Qingqiu is constantly doing this in his narration: he’ll do something that’s quite, y’know, good of him, and then immediately play it off as selfishness or survival. He’s being nice to Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge, Shen Qingqiu insists, not because he genuinely cares for them or whatever, but for his “future survival.” He then proceeds to be so nice to both of them that they both fall in love with him, and look, it may have happened off-screen but my dude, you’ve definitely gone above and beyond the call of duty/survival at that point
the narrative unequivocally rewards Shen Qingqiu for his kindness decency -- we joke that Shen Qingqiu transmigrated into a harem novel only to accidentally end up with a harem of his own, but he really did secure the loyalties of half a dozen characters simply by being, well, a decent guy. He saves doesn’t kill Liu Qingge and befriends him pretty much as an afterthought. As a result, Liu Qingge is ride or die for him for the rest of the book. Shen Qingqiu saves doesn’t kill Zhuzhi-lang, who eventually betrays Tianlang-jun for him. Shen Qingqiu is, uh... a reasonable authority figure in the vicinity of Gongyi Xiao, who then proceeds to betray his sect and break Shen Qingqiu out of prison. The Qingjing Peak disciples adore Shen Qingqiu (I’m not even counting the one that, y’know, really fucking adores him), and would gladly throw hands to defend his reputation. I’ll grant you that Yue Qingyuan’s loyalty to Shen Qingqiu was grandfathered in, but like. if you look at the narrative and the relationships that develop in it, Shen Qingqiu is basically a walking vortex of cordial acquaintanceship who suckers in anyone within a certain radius
is Shen Qingqiu nice? he’d deny it to hell and back, but he’s generally a decent guy and that makes him the hottest fucking ticket in this insane, insane webnovel
I think I’ve lost the thread of the plot here (me and Shen Qingqiu both, tbh) but you asked about bingqiu, so! (rolls up sleeves) let’s talk about bingqiu, I guess
the bingqiu relationship from Shen Qingqiu’s side, in one word, is this: indulgence. Shen Qingqiu begins in a caregiving position for Luo Binghe, and nurtures him, supports him, teaches him, shapes him. Shen Qingqiu also praises him, smiles at him, indulges him. Shen Qingqiu is constantly letting Luo Binghe do things -- cook for him, take care of responsibilities for him, pitch into his arms repeatedly -- such that, well, not to be like “Luo Binghe fell in love with Shen Qingqiu for his kindness,” but highkey, Luo Binghe wholeheartedly adores his shizun because here, for once, is someone who did not abandon him, who believes in him, who chose him over others
meanwhile, Shen Qingqiu is completely oblivious to his effect on Luo Binghe for a staggering amount of the novel, which plays right into Shen Qingqiu’s character arc over the course of SVSSS: simply put, taking responsibility for his own actions
trust me for a bit, I’m going to go on a bit of a tangent to explain how I got there but we’ll make it back, I promise:
we are given deliberately little of Shen Yuan's IRL backstory -- it’s kind of skimmed over with a quick “oh yes, he came from a rich family and didn’t do much with his life, don’t think too hard about it” -- but regardless of what inferences we might want to make about his family life or childhood, the one thing continues to strike me as absolutely key to understanding both Shen Yuan and Shen Yuan-as-Shen Qingqiu is this: in his previous life, Shen Yuan feels preeminently disposable
yes, we’re told that Shen Qingqiu has an almost supernatural capability for dealing with the new and insane shit the plot throws at him, but even with that, I can’t let go of the fact that Shen Qingqiu barely mourns his old life at all
to be fair, for Shen Qingqiu to moan and whine and angst about his own death and the family and friends he’s left behind would be, well, rather tedious and bothersome when all we, as readers, care for is the excitement of exploring a new world and the advancement of the plot, but even then, even making allowances for expectations of genre and reader preference, I think Shen Yuan’s lack of a vibrant life with emotional connections in his prior existence is both notable and significant
the phrase that he repeats, over and over, is that all he ever thought he would do is 混吃等死 to waste time, to eat, to wait for death. Shen Yuan is nobody, not someone with great ambitions or dreams, nor someone who will make waves or change the world. he’s the forgettable middle child of a vaguely rich family somewhere, and if he vanished off the face of the earth, it would not be worth a tragedy -- just a peculiar, tragicomic kind of embarrassment, an odd kind of ruefulness but no true sorrow
and so Shen Yuan carries this mindset of his own disposability, his own helplessness in the face of plot or fate or destiny or the protagonist halo, forward into Shen Qingqiu’s life. this is why it takes him so long to realize that the plot of PIDW has changed on him; even after he’s knocked the narrative off its axis by saving Liu Qingge, by being kind to Luo Binghe, by literally dying, Shen Qingqiu doesn’t quite believe that he’s actually effected change. he’s constantly reading the original novel’s end into his current present; he’s constantly superimposing the original Luo Binghe over the one standing before him
we see this also in his profoundly unreliable narration -- he constantly describes Yue Qingyuan and Liu Qingge as reliable bastions, as nothing more than NPCs, merely tools he intends to use for his own survival, but his own dreamscape betrays him. in chapter 41, we see that his nightmares are haunted by images of Liu Qingge’s death by qi deviation, Yue Qingyuan’s death by ten thousand arrows. “I don’t actually care about them,” Shen Qingqiu insists in his narration, while actually caring very deeply
(“I’m incredibly selfish and just out here to save my own skin,” Shen Qingqiu protests, while turning himself over to Luo Binghe in exchange for Cang Qiong’s safety)
and so, Shen Yuan’s character arc is this: coming to own the fact that 1) he does actually care, which means that 2) his actions are more than game mechanisms conducted at arms length with no real stakes, but real actions with real consequences on real people
and this, metatextually, reflects the journey of his relationship with PIDW as a whole (going from “what are you talking about, I hate this fucking novel” to “fine. FINE. I didn’t say it was good, I said I like it okay?!”) as well as the arc of his relationship with Shen Qingqiu, the body he wears, the identity he steals by accident and eventually grows into. by coming to accept his role as Shen Qingqiu, and therefore his place in this not-quite-PIDW-anymore canon, Shen Yuan is finally accepting the fact that this is now his life
and who is he in his life? indisposable
perhaps, for the first time, his actions effect change; the words he casually throws out are remembered, internalized, recited back at him years later. Shen Qingqiu is absolutely critical to the plot and to the development of the characters around him, and it takes him a while to realize this and come to terms with the fact that his actions have consequences, his words have effects, and that he has, for better or worse, had a direct hand into shaping Luo Binghe into who he is now today
this isn’t to say that it’s Shen Qingqiu’s fault that Luo Binghe is like this -- let’s not remove a character’s agency in developing themselves or an individual’s responsibility to be a decent person -- but Shen Qingqiu has helped make Luo Binghe who he is today, and the emotional turn of the novel occurs when he begins to accept that and take responsibility for it
so perhaps what I’m trying to say isn’t so much “Shen Qingqiu learns to take responsibility for his actions” as “Shen Yuan as Shen Qingqiu learns to take ownership over his life, his agency, his actions, and his effects on the world and the people around him,” which is how we get back to Luo Binghe
and the last thing I want to say about the bingqiu relationship in this post that apparently will not end is this: the book ends at their beginning. I mean this literally, in that the last chapter of this webnovel is titled “The Story’s Beginning” so like. it’s right there y’all
which is to say, all of bingqiu’s relationship development and negotiation, all of the messy tangled threads of resentment and forgiveness, all of the awkward tears and arguments and apologies and exploration happens after the book ends
bingqiu is not perfect. bingqiu is fraught as hell. bingqiu is a flaming clown car careening off the edge of an upside-down mountain peak that is being forcefully yoinked into this plane of existence as part of a hare-brained scheme to smash two realms together. bingqiu is composed of a vastly overpowered and deeply insecure former protagonist who has the ability to destroy entire worlds and a compulsive webnovel reader transmigrated into the questionably immortal body of his lover’s former abuser who snarks on reflex as a coping mechanism. all of which is to say--
it’s gonna take a hot second for these two disasters to work through things, okay
tl;dr Shen Qingqiu, you slippery bastard (affectionate), I hope you live happily ever after with the extremely clingy consequences of your actions
For the prompts, 49 with doppio? >:3 Idk what it is about him I just look at him and think “oh you’re NEEDY needy, huh?”. Thank you so much, you’re a really good writer! :)
No problem buddy, thanks for the request! >:3
Warnings: not sfw, dubcon/noncon, abduction, dark themes, yandere, etc.
Also, my requests are still open, if anyone else is interested!
Yandere prompt with Doppio, “You want me to fuck you…? Would that make you happy? Would it make you love me?” afab reader, dub/non con
All you wanted to do now was go home. You had had a long week at work, your parents were nagging you again, and to make things worse you had a headache that would not go away. After an exhausting day that began before the sun was out, and ended after the sun had set, you certainly deserved to do nothing more than go home, eat some junk food in your comfy pjs, listen to a podcast while you took a bath and pampered yourself, and maybe jerk off before bed. Unfortunately, you had a “girls night” tonight.
Your friends (your IRL friends at least) complained that you never went out with them anymore (nevermind that whenever you suggested doing something with them, or wanted to chat or text on the phone they were busy) and had forced you to go clubbing with them to celebrate the three-day weekend ahead. You weren’t much of a drinker, and really weren’t much of a dancer, so you had been given the purses to hold while you waited for them to be ready to go home.
You wrinkled your nose in frustration, glaring into the blurry screen of your phone looking at the late time: this was unfair. You were a hard worker, kind to a fault to those around you, and you deserved better than this. Sitting in a corner of a crowded club, everyone in the place having a great time except for you, tired and alone. At least in your apartment, you chose to be there, and at least no one actively ignored you: places like this just pointed out the flaws you hated about yourself more: you were bad with people, and easy to ignore.
Once one of your “friends” stumbled over to the group’s table, you left them with everyone's purse, mumbling you were going to the bathroom (you didn’t know if she heard you and you didn’t care) and left before anyone could stop you. You stumbled your way to the restroom in heels way too high for you to walk in, trying to clean yourself up and find a quiet place to text your goodbyes so your friends wouldn’t worry about your sudden disappearance. Leaning over the sink counter, you wiped a makeup smear off the corner of your lips, noticing a second too late someone behind you.
“Hey, there’s another sink-” You began to say to the blurred figure way too close to you, before a sudden eruption of pain hit the side of your head, and you were out in a flash…
The next time you regained consciousness was several hours later, but it was still dark when you opened your eyes, trying to remember what happened and where in the world you were. The stale cigarette smell, the unreasonably cold ac, the bedsheets starched so strongly that the sheets felt like plastic- this was definitely a motel. But where, and how long had you been here? As you began to sit up, you heard a surprised, timid voice.
“Oh, thank goodness! You’re awake, I was beginning to worry about you! Hold on, don’t move so suddenly, i’ll help you sit up.
Sure enough, as you started moving, your head lit up with painful throbbing that made last night’s headache seem like nothing in comparison. You grit your teeth and clenched your eyes shut, trying not to groan in pain.
“What the hell happened to me last night?” you grunted through your teeth, rubbing your temple as gentle hands helped slowly sit you up propped against cushions.
“Haha, you had a lot of bad luck last night, running into my boss. He was waiting for...an employee in the restroom and thought you were sent after him. He’s a bit paranoid, and he may have...accidentally clobbered you.” The voice apologized, gentle as he handed you what felt like a glass of water.
You forced yourself to open your eyes; it was still dark, but you could tell it wasn’t because of the time of day but rather a lack of light and closed curtains. You looked at..you looked at the person in front of you. Like whoever had attacked you last night, they had long pink hair, braided and side parted. Their eyes were green and wide, and they looked particularly juvenile with a crop top and freckles. They were on the smaller side, perhaps even shorter than you (hard to tell from while on the bed) and their eyes were crinkled in apprehension, like he was afraid you were going to hurt him.
“Erm, don’t worry though, I talked him out of doing anything too..extreme, after all I'm his right hand man! Besides, you seem like a perfectly nice person, I'd hate to see anything bad happen to you. Sorry, I'm rambling! Umm, do you want something for your headache? You were groaning in your sleep, I'm sure it doesn’t feel so good right now-” He went on and on, pulling out some painkillers to take with your water.
After thanking him, you were about to swallow the pill before pausing, looking at the strange man who’d taken you to a remote hotel after his boss had nearly killed you. Sensing your suspicion, doppio exclaimed, “Oh, don’t worry, they’re safe, name brand painkillers! Um, hold on, lemme just-” And he made a show of popping some of the pills you were holding into his mouth and swallowing, sticking out his tongue and opening his mouth to show you he’d ingested it.
Satisfied, and more importantly in a lot of pain, you took some of the pills yourself, much to the relief of the pink haired man.
“Oh good, thank you for doing that! I was so worried watching you asleep, you’ll feel much better now! By the way, my name’s Doppio, it’s a pleasure to meet you! Oh! And I know your name’s y/n because you had your purse and ID on you! Haha, sorry for going through your purse, I was just hoping to find any info on you that might be, you know, important.” he sat on the bed, scooching closer and closer to you.
You cleared your throat, unsure of what to say, and the watchful eyes of Doppio doing nothing to make you feel better.
“Well, um, thank you, Doppio. I appreciate you, um, saving me? Sorry for any inconvenience, I'll just, um-” You try to get up to leave, only for Doppio to place a hand over your leg.
“Don’t go! What, I mean, what if you hurt yourself? You probably have a concussion, and also you haven’t had breakfast? We could eat together and-” Doppio stammered, grabbing your hand and stroking it with his sweaty, cold fingers.
You had to stop him, before things got out of hand.
“Thank you, Doppio, it really was very sweet of you to take such good care of me, but I-”
“Please! You don’t understand, I mean-” Doppio fumbled with his words, clearly trying to make you stay at all costs.
“Doppio, i can’t stay here forever, i need to go home. My friends are probably worried about me by now.” You tried to press on, you didn’t want to upset the man with a powerful boss, but you felt increasingly claustrophobic with Doppio pawing at you.
“You mean those mean girls who left you with their purses all night? Why would you care about what they-” Doppio covered his mouth with both hands quickly, realizing what he just said.
Your blood ran ice cold; how did he know so much about them? Had he been watching you before the “incident”
Using his moment of weakness, you got up from the bed and tried to reach the door; it was time for you to go home, if not call the cops.
Doppio yelped, Throwing himself in front of the door before you could make your escape.
“Please, don’t be scared y/n! I didn’t mean to upset you, I only meant that I can treat you much better than your friends can. I mean, look at how good I've been for you so far?? I didn’t make you dance with me at the club, even though I really wanted to. I didn’t just have my fun against your will in the bathroom stall like the boss told me to do.I saved you from a concussion, or worse! I got you your own hotel room for the night, and didn’t take advantage of you or touch you while you were asleep! I want our first time to be special, after all! Isn’t that what you want?” Doppio pleaded, eyes wild as he tried to smile, trying to calm you.
You were anything but calm however, this guy was clearly obsessed with you, and had been for longer than just one night. Even if at first he had merely seemed like a pathetic “nice guy” you no longer had any pity or time to give him.
“Doppio, get away from the door and let me leave, now.” you demanded in your best authoritative voice. Doppio whimpered, this wasn’t how this was supposed to go at all, you were supposed to love him!
“You can’t! Boss and I won’t let you!” He cried, covering the door with his body. With no other choice, you slid out of your shoes and charged at him full speed. You managed to give him a good blow on the head, and threw him out of the way of the door. He cried, crumpled on the ground. If not for the fact that he had kidnapped you, you might have felt bad for hurting him like this, but you had to think of yourself at this moment.
As you finally unlock and pull open the door, heading towards freedom, you hear the strangest noise behind you.
“RingRingRingRingRing!” Doppio calls after you, in an unnatural, high pitched tone. You try to ignore it, you literally don’t have time for this, but with strength he had not previously displayed, Doppio grabs one of your arms, twisting it behind your back and up to his ear, holding it like a telephone.
There’s a trickle of blood, and one of his eyes is rolled back in its socket, but he calmly says, “Hello, this is Doppio,” Into your hand, as if he was having a normal conversation on the phone.
You scream out, doubled over by the pain in your arm, Doppio silent as he “listens” to his “Phonecall” oblivious to your suffering. Where did all this power come from? He was acting like an entirely different person, and frankly scaring you. Doppio nodded, pulling your hand closer into his ear and intently listening to nothing but air before “Hanging up and pulling you back into the motel room.
He threw you on the bed ( his arms felt much stronger, and more muscular for some reason) before crawling on top of you and pinning you down. You were too stunned, and frankly too scared, to come up with any means of escape, just weakly struggling to throw him off of you to no avail.
“Doppio, please-” You whispered, eyes blurry with tears.
“I talked to the boss, and he helped me figure out what to do. He wants our relationship to succeed after all!” Doppio exclaimed, additude reverted to how he’d first spoken to you. You were confused, you’d neither seen nor heard anyone in or around the room, who was he talking to and how?
“Boss told me that people like you need some discipline in order to be obedient, or you’ll walk all over me. If I can do that, then I can make you love me, and we’ll be happy together, isn’t that what you want?” Doppio told you, stroking your cheek.
“This is not okay, Doppio!” you yell, thrashing against both arms, “Let me go or i’ll-”
Wait a minute, both arms?
Then how was he…?
You look over to one side in shock, only to see a floating metallic and red arm holding you down, one on either side. You screamed, overwhelmed by a stalker and strange supernatural forces you couldn’t understand.
“Oh, you can see King Crimson's arms? Interesting, perhaps because of your near death experience with Boss, you can see stands now? Although, it would be bad if you developed a stand, what to do?...” Doppio pondered to himself, speaking apparent babble.
You cried, trying to wake up from this obvious nightmare with no luck.
“Awww, hey y/n, it’s okay, i’m not gonna hurt you! Not if you be good for me and Boss.” Doppio cooed, kissing your cheeks and forehead. “I talked boss into keeping you with us- you’re always so lonely at home, and never have a good time with others, right? You don’t have to lie anymore, I've been watching you for a while. Nobody else seems to, though, they’re too self-absorbed and stupid to realize how incredible you are!” He continued, oblivious to his words not helping, but hurting you.
“You’re perfect for me and boss, we can take really good care of you. Forget this lousy motel, we have mansions and villas all over Italy that we can take holidays to. We have billions of Lira from work, you’ll never have to lift another finger and we’ll pamper you to death. And best of all? You’ll never have to see your awful friends or family again! Isn’t it awful how they treat you? We can get rid of them, so they can’t hurt you!” He finishes, grinning ear to ear, but his eyes hollow and lifeless, staring unblinkingly into yours.
This guy was sick, there was no other word to it. You might have had issues with your family, and yeah your friends could be assholes sometimes, but you didn’t want them killed! What good would that do you, or anyone for that matter?!
Doppio seemed to read your thoughts, “Look, I know it's a lot to take in at once, but trust me. Boss and I have planned this out for a while now, and we’re always going to do what’s best for us, ok? So don’t worry so much, and please stop struggling? Boss warned me if you got too unruly he’d take over and finish what he started last night.
A wave of nausea slithered through you as you remembered, thinking how close you were to dying. You gave up, lying limp on the bed, praying for this to end.
Doppio smiled again, this one almost seeming genuine, and gave you the softest kiss to your lips. It was childish, almost, and he clearly lacked experience, but he gained more confidence from your lack of struggling. With the mysterious hands holding you (stands? King crimson?) his own hands were free to touch you. He started With your cheeks, your face, your hair, your neck, stroking you with feather-light touches, his fingers tracing each curve, digit and flaw like he was trying to memorize it all.
“Finally… I finally get to touch you like this… I’ve been waiting for so long, y/n. Do you know how long I've wanted to hold you?” He whispered, wrapping his arms around your neck, cradling your cheek to his. You didn’t know, and you didn’t want to, but Doppio told you anyway.
“I’ve been watching, waiting...for so long. Following you home from work, listening into your calls, finding your online accounts. I’ve known since I first saw you that you were the one for me, and now I get to prove it to you. I get to show you all the things I've been meaning to do to you. You’ll never be lonely again, not with me around. We’ll never be lonely~”
He giggled the last part, giddy with excitement, as he slid his fingers down your ribcage, your sides, fiddling with the bottom of your shirt. You wriggled, trying to fight him off again, only to your dismay Doppio giggled even harder at your reactions-perhaps because he knew you could never overpower him.
“Ohhh~ still so shy? Don’t be so uptight, y/n, you need to live a little! I know how much you want this; you complain about it all the time on your personal blog-” You could feel the blush on your cheeks heating up your face, desperate to make him shut up, “ How you want someone to have their way with you, to make you forget everything else in life. You’re desperate for someone to truly cherish and understand you; mentally and physically. You want me to love you? You want me to fuck you…? Would that make you happy? Would it make you love me?” Doppio rambled on and on, ripping your shirt off with strength he hadn’t had before.
You yelped, goosebumps forming on your skin as Doppio cackled, rubbing his face on your stomach, and into your cleavage poking out from your bra.
“Yes, let go for me! Show me every emotion, everything you’ve been holding back from me for so long- i need it, I demand it!” He snarled, splitting your nicest bra in half, and biting down on your neck, hard.
You screamed, legs kicking uselessly as the pain blurred your mind and you were operating purely on instinct. Doppio didn’t seem bothered in the least by it, you could still feel his laughter against your sore neck, as he sucked down on it, trying to bruise and mark you. His hands couldn’t help but find their way to your breasts, toying with them and squeezing them with admittedly little expertise. But he was a quick learner, making note of each little gasp and twitch according to how he touched you, and improving his technique from there. He twisted your nipples a bit roughly, already hard from the chilly air and sensitive to touch- you couldn’t help but moan a little in satisfaction. It had been awhile.
Doppio’s moans echoed yours, as he kissed his way down the crevice of your breasts, and licked each nipple in turn. You squirmed, not in fear or anger but pleasure, angry at yourself for letting this strange man win your body over so easily. Doppio kept his eyes on you at all times, studying your face to see how you felt. He’d had to watch you for so long from so far away, alone in your bedroom, or so you thought… it was time to use the knowledge he’d gained to make your body crazy for him.
You jumped at Doppio’s hands, cupping your groin through your pants, trying not to buck into his hands . It was getting harder and harder to deny him, though, why couldn’t you just-?
Doppio pulled your pants down to your ankles, taking your panties with it. He groaned audibly at the sight- your pussy was so wet and dripping, there was still a trail connected to your underwear.
“No, don’t-” You cried, snapping your legs shut, visibly scared at what was taking place again. Doppio was losing patience, crouching down and prying your legs open,
“Stop fighting me, y/n, you clearly want this!” He cried, eye twitching in annoyance. He managed to open your legs again, and buried his face into your pussy. He moaned, licking up a wet stripe against your labia, warm and puffy and so wet for him- he knew you would be, he knew you loved him.
Tears streaked down the sides of your face, this was so much and so intense. Your thighs clamped down on Doppio’s cheeks and neck, squeezing him as hard as you could. Not hard enough, apparently, as he just started giggling again through a full mouth and busy tongue “Ssho good, y/n, why have you been hiding thissh from mee~?” he moaned, tongue circling your clit. You flung your head back into the pillow, gripping the mysterious hands that held you for any source of strength or comfort.
Watching you whimper so pitifully with his head between your legs, obviously blissed out after being so needy and alone for so long, just did things to doppio. He loved the pained, fucked out expression on your face- you couldn’t even keep your eyes open as he snuck one, two fingers into your aching pussy. You whimpered so cutely, and it was all for him and him alone. Finally~
“Y/n, please, i can only hold back for so long, let me make sure it’s not painful… be good for me, please?” Doppio begged, grinding his hips into the mattress before he could help himself. Begrudgingly, you moved your thighs back just enough for Doppio to push them away, when he got a wonderful idea. King crimson, or what Boss had lent him of his stand to use, sensed his thought, and grabbed both your hands in one arm. Doppio pushed your thighs back and up, effectively bending your knees into your chest and displaying your pussy in such a beautiful way. You cried out, surprised by the sudden movements and embarrassed by how exposed you were, but there was nothing you could do about it. Doppio was just too strong.
The other free hand floated down, spreading your lips apart to give Doppio a nice view before pummeling two of his thick, strong fingers inside of you. You screamed, crying as the fingers curled directly into your sweet spot, massaging with robotic-like precision and speed. The sounds you were making were wet, animalistic, and you were quickly brought close to the brink.
“Perfect, y/n! Just like that, let yourself go! It makes me happy to see a side of yourself you never show anyone else- and you never will to anyone but me! Remember, I'm the one making you feel this good, right y/n? You couldn’t possibly find anything half as wonderful from anyone else but me! Me, got it?!” Doppio exclaimed, his voice cracking and becoming much darker, scarier. For a second, you could swear he looked like a different person entirely, wild, angry and dangerous- but you blinked and Doppio was just as before.
Doppio licked his lips, sweating and anxious, this was good enough to make you love him, right? This was what he had to do to make you happy? Boss’s words from before appeared in his head though, and he remembered how Boss had always been right before. Doppio trusted him, and was determined to win you over. Doppio let go of one of your legs-you seemed adequately distracted and restrained to get away from him- and unzipped his fly. In truth, he would’ve preferred to get all the way naked with you for the first time, so you could see and feel the real him as well, but clearly the two of you were too desperate and impatient for him to get fully naked. This time.
You whimpered at the sound of a zipper, feeling the fingers pull out of you. You heard the crinkle of a wrapped, and the muffled groan as Doppio probably rolled a condom onto himself, but you were too afraid to look. The strong floating hand, still wet with your juices, gripped your cheek and forced you to look at Doppio, staring you down with much more restraint and calm than he had been. Doppio kissed your cheek, then your lip, and pushed his warm cock achingly slowly, gently, into your waiting pussy.
You couldn’t help yourself from moaning, grabbing at the hands that held you, thrusting yourself onto Doppio’s hard and hot cock. He bit his lip, feeling you twitch and squeeze around him; he was trying so hard to be gentle for you, why were you still making things so difficult. He chuckled to himself, and motioned for King Crimson to let you go; finally you were beginning to relax and enjoy yourself, and he wanted to enjoy every bit of it.
Without thinking, you wrapped your arms around Doppio, holding him close to you. Your mind was a mess, your body even messier, you didn’t know what to think or do about your abducter/rapist fucking you so tenderly, and you were tired of fighting. So you let him fuck you, slowly and gently and way way emotionally. Doppio wiped away new tears you hadn’t realized were there, shushing you, “It’s okay, my sweet y/n. Just relax and let me do the work. Don’t fight it any more, just let go.” He whispered, pressing kisses into your lips and cheeks far too sweetly.
So you did, you relaxed and sank into the mattress, pulling Doppio down with you. He let go of your thighs, and held you tightly to him as he fucked-no, made love to you. He gradually picked up the pace, huffing and whispering words of admiration to you about your body, or how much he adored you. You took it all limply, the fight having gone out of you and desperate for comfort. The floating arms, which you had forgotten about, reappeared and stimulated your nipples and clit, bringing you closer and closer to the edge.
Doppio sped up as well, he knew this would have to end, but he wanted to make it last as long as possible. This was your first time together, after all. He wanted to make it special. Your legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him deeper and closer into you. You could feel the spongy head of his dick rub your inside so sweetly, you were starting to get addicted to the feeling. Doppio buried his head into your neck, mumbling nonsense as he pushed in deeper and deeper, faster and faster, as his restraint gave way to passion.
“Y/n I- I don’t know how much longer I can last, but-” He kissed you, as the stroking of your clit sped up. You groaned loudly, you were so close, “Just a bit longer, please~” You begged, biting your lip. Doppio took a deep breath, steeling himself as he was determined to make you come first. He pounded into you, urging you closer and closer, four sets of hands circling your body and drawing out noises and gasps from you out of your control.
“Almost there, please, almost~!!!” You cried, throwing your head back with a final sigh as you came hard and fast, your core heating up and washing over you as Doppio helped you ride it out with clit rubs. Your walls fluttering around him, the face that you made as you came from him, for him, it was too much and he quickly filled his condom inside of you, moaning even louder than you had as he thrust without abandon into your wonderful, most precious place. He didn’t want to stop, thrusting almost to the point of overstimulation, before he had to stop, and collapsed on top of you. He cooed and kissed his praises and thanks into your shoulder and skin, before he noticed the soft sound of you snoring. Poor thing, he chuckled to himself, you’d really worked yourself up.
He reluctantly pulled out, after indulging in 5 minutes of cuddling your sleeping body and listening to your heartbeat. Doppio cleaned the two of you off, and tucked you into the covers of the motel- now would be a good time to set up moving you into your new home. After all, The whole reason you were in the motel is because the moving company Boss had hired to move your things into the main base would take several hours to complete their job, and Boss didn’t want anyone seeing you or Doppio at home. Doppio ruffled your hair as you slept, pulling out his cellphone to check in with Boss and give him the full update he’d requested.
Tonight was going to be very busy.
Platonic Polyam Bench Trio Marriage AU
You guys asked, so here I am to deliver! Platonic Polyam Bench Trio marriage au where Tommy marries into Tubbo’s and Ranboo’s platonic marriage. (focus on Tommy lol)
NOTE; These are about the c!characters and not the irl people, and I'm writing this like a poly queerplatonic relationship okay? None of this is intended to be romantic or anything else and anything that is in this list is PLATONIC INTENTIONS ONLY
Edit; Now called the Bench Husbands Au
-It kinda all kicks off when about a week or so after Tommy gets out of Prison. (Note, nothing after the first stream after Tommy gets out is canon in this au, as well as some things before)
-Tubbo and Tommy finally have a small fight and argument, before talking, like really talking and Tubbo invite Tommy to come live with them in the mansion in snowchester once its done.
-Tommy doesn't really want to... but he’s tired and lonely and still scared to death and Tubbo promises he’s safe with them, plus if they lived together they could plan on how to kill Dream easier as well.
-Ranboo doesn't mind but after that he tries to go talk to tommy more, but Tommy isnt... the most receptive? Tommy is suffering still and is feeling very replaced and lonely, but doesn't excuse his kinda snippy behavior with Ranboo
-This finally comes to ahead when Ranboo snaps and calls him out, leading to another small fight, before Tommy apologizes and they also talk. This one is more in depth though and Tommy talks about what happened in exile, in the prison, and just general shitty stuff that's being going on.
-Ranboo, in turn, talks to him about the voices and Dream’s voice and the sleepwalking and Tommy is very much more concerned about them then anyone else he told was, and validates the fear about it, and resolves to help Ranboo get rid of it somehow.
-After this, and both trying to convince the other they should tell Tubbo, that they both probably need to tell Tubbo. They want to keep him safe and not worry him, but... they both need help in different ways and they both love him enough to not do that to him.
-The night ends with lots of tears, Tubbo admitting his own traumas and tears and what he’s been not saying, and a promise to help each other.
-Its not a while after that actually Ranboo brings up the idea of adding Tommy to their marriage. He can tell the blond is struggling with feeling replaced and low-self esteem, and it would help him feel more equal and loved maybe? Tubbo thinks its a great idea and they go to ask Tommy.
-Tommy’s pretty uppity at first, he believes its just them pitying him and treating him like glass again, which he hates more then anything, but after they calm him down and explain they just want him to feel equal and that they both actually cared for him and wanted him to join in on their thing, he’s more contemplative.
Ranboo nervously throws in a few other points, like how for legal reasons it could benefit him like it was for them, their allies had to leave him alone, plus Tubbo only started making his own hotel becuase he wanted Tommy to start interacting with him again, and-
-At this point Tommy just, interrupts and says yes, surprising them. They didn't exactly think he’d say no, but they thought it would be harder then that. He laughs at their expressions and says why not? Plus it stood to reason they’d want Tommy, everyone wanted Tommy.
-Ranboo and Tubbo exchange a look before bullying their now platonic fiancée.
They agree to get married as soon as the Mansion is done, and till then Tommy can finish packing his stuff and a few other things he wanted to do.
-Also Tommy is totally not avoiding Michael because every pet he ever got close to has died and he doesn't want to get attached and risk Tubbo and Ranboo losing something they cared about because of him, no siree, why wouldn't you think that?
-Speaking of Michael!
-Its not all that strange to keep undead mobs like Zombie piglins as pets, in fact Zombie Piglins are the probably better undead mob to keep around due to their mostly passiveness if you want a pet and the fact they don't need much to eat and wont really be harmed if out leave them alone for long periods of time
-Though Tommy kinda thinks Tubbo and Ranboo’s insist on treating him like their child is weird, but he’s willing to let them have it, clearly it made them happy to play around
-Isn't until he finally moves in that he realizes that Michael is different then other zombie piglins and finds himself being pulled into the parent dynamic as well
-Though now that he thinks about it, something about Michael seems off… welp it's probably nothing :)
-When the mansion is done, he tears down the dirt shack and makes it a community garden and it becomes one of the only things that stays free of the red vines (who knew watering it with water from the holy land would make it untouchable? It's thanks to this garden later others figure out how to defeat the egg)
-They elect to not have a ceremony, not now at least but Tommy actually thinks a small wedding party would be fun at a later date. Ranboo doesn't mind much if they have one or not but Tubbo is actually very excited about planning it.
-Tommy wears his ring on a necklace most of the time, but occasionally wears it on his fingers, usually when he needs something to fiddle with.
-Ranboo wears his on his tail (the area right before to fluffy part) normally but also wears it on his finger sometimes when he feels like it. (If your version has horns, he also does that too) it just really depends on what he’s feeling and if he’s forgotten where he put it. He also like, never takes it off unless to move it around because he’s afraid to lose it.
-Tubbo wears his as an actual ring on his finger (though if he has horns, sometimes he puts it on one of em if he needs the ring to be off his hand.) Tubbo learned the hard way when building nukes or other machinery (since, if you can believe it, his husbands aren’t that comfortable with the nukes as he is) you can't wield or do high heat stuff while wearing metal and nearly lost his finger. He’s very lucky and he has a small scar from it.
-Each of them have their own rooms so they can have their own space and somewhere to go if they want time to themselves/store their stuff in, but there is a 4th room (directly across from Michaels) where they share and tend to curl up to sleep together. About 5 out of 7 days of the week, some combo of them are cuddling together at night, more if they're having a bad day or nightmares.
-There's multiple bathrooms in the mansion but there's one they all like the best and will fight over it/race to get into it first before the others and the other two will stalk off salty to use a different one
-They're all pretty tactile people but out of them, Tommy is the most tactile (once the fear of being hurt recess he practically attaches himself to the others) and Ranboo is the least (he won't seek out comfort and touch as much as the others unless he needs it, but is the best at telling when the other two need touch or need to be left alone) and Tubbo is in the middle of that.
-Tommy is the one that cooks most of the time, Ranboo is banned from it after The Incident and while Tubbo is okay at cooking, Tommy just knows more recipes and how to make things taste really good.
-Tommy picked up sewing from when he was a kid, even before he was found by Wilbur and adopted by Phil, it was useful to be able to patch the rags he called clothes, and just ended up continuing because his brothers and dad sucked at sewing. It then morphed into full tailoring because he found it relaxing and liked being able to make his own clothes. He can and will be insulted if anyone wears anything he deems ‘ugly’, especially his new husbands. He makes them clothes all the time, specially Michael.
-In fact he also cleans the most, he just gets bored and while he makes a mess, if the house gets to a certain point he gets really uncomfortable and overstimulated, so he cleans.
-DomesticInnit? In my au? More likely then you think!
-Gradually the whole ‘watching the prison’ and ‘planning to kill Dream’ starts to fade as he gets back into the groove of living again and therapy. He’s just… tired of Dream having a hold on everything Tommy does, he’s sick of it. So… he just tries to live these days one step at a time. (Healing arc baby! Dream can die mad UwU)
-Tommy dragged them both to Therapy with him after a while.
-Because of this he finds himself home a lot with Michael, especially if the other two are busy. They’ve pretty much decided that someone has to be home with Michael at all times, which is now 100% more doable with the 3 of them, and Puffy or Foolish babysit if there’s ever time they can't.
-Tommy is a lot less of a hovering helicopter parent then the others and was the one to finally convince them Michael cant live trapped in a room. Yes, they were all worried for his safety but… you can't raise a kid in a cell, even if it's a nice one. Tommy takes Michael out more
-Tommy started to sleep walking again once they moved in and he still gravitates towards water for some reason. Nothing more startling then waking up because you plunged into frigid below 0 temp water while sleepwalking. Ranboo also enderwalks/sleepwalks more as well and there've been some nights where Tubbo has had to track them both sleepily walking around and make sure they don't hurt themselves or drown or something. At least Ranboo is semi-aware when enderwalking and normally just does weird ender things, Tommy likes to apparently walk into oceans or climb the mansion and nearly fall off and wander hundreds of blocks away. Tubbo’s not salty at all, really.
-Sapnap, Quackity, and Karl are 100% salty the benchtrio got platonically married before they got married
-They fight about last names all the time despite none of them actally taking eachothers last name, and if they happen to pick and choose on which one they’re feeling based on mood, well they can do what they want!
-However its agreed Michael’s last name is hyphenated so he’s now ‘Michael Beloved-Underscore-Innit’
These are all I have for now, feel free to ask about it or use my ideas! <3
The boy with the reindeer clothes and captain america mask
You had fallen for Callahan the instant you first met him through bad boy halo’s Minecraft server. It was insane really out of all the guys and girls you could’ve fallen for you wound up falling for the faceless mute boy. I guess there was just something extra charming about how he was able to make you fall for him despite not showing his face or using his voice… It had been years since you had met him and the rest of the crew online and by now you had even met a few IRL! Still your heart aches for the one true person you wished to meet, you wished to hug, to hold, to kiss if he so wished… So all that being said after months of begging and convincing from your other friends to just get up the guts and ask… you finally did it…
You decided today would be the day you call Callahan and ask if he wants to meet up! Despite Callahan never talking he loved when you would call he always said your voice was very soothing and he’s even fell asleep to you talking away a few times.. You can always tell when he falls asleep because when he’s awake he keeps it saying that he’s typing but once he’s fallen asleep somehow it turns off fate or some magical power or maybe someone lives with him that you don’t know about, either way you don’t question it. It was like a silent understanding between the two of you to never question it whether be out of fear of somehow messing it up if you question it or if just simply neither of you cared enough to ask…
You take a deep breathe before clicking call… You anxiously await and within only two rings he picks up and quickly types in chat “hi, what’s up?” You gulp softly “Hi Calla well um I was actually calling because I well I have a question…” He types question marks and “okay? What is it?” You take another deep breathe your voice shaking as you finally say the words “Do you want to meet up with me?” You begin to ramble on about how he doesn’t have to show his face or anything but before you can barely mutter anything else out he types “yea sure I’m down when do you wanna do it? Do you want me to come to you or you come to me or what?” You blink a few times not believing the words you read
Your mind swirls wondering how he agreed to quickly and seems so calm when you felt as if your heart was gonna beat out of your chest… Little did you know he was actually feeling the same way and he had to retype the sentence a few times because his fingers were shaking so much he typoed quite a bit… You suddenly hear finger snapping and quickly are pulled back to reality making a small noise of alarm quickly looking at your computer screen you saw Callahan’s mic lit green and heard the quickest laugh before his mic was once again red… “Sorry I zoned out for a second there um I can come there if you don’t mind, I know it would be easier for you if I did”
Unbeknownst to you Callahan had a wide smile on his face as he silently cheered to himself before quickly typing that he would send you his address later and that he had to go! You laughed softly a bit from nerves of this actually happening and from imagining Callahan rushing around his house getting everything ready for your visit “okay sounds good I’ll see you later bye calla I L-“ you barely stopped yourself you had said it a few times before to him and honestly you said it almost all the time to your other friends but something about saying it to Callahan was different.. You didn’t like saying it not because you didn’t love him but because you couldn’t explain that how you said I love you to him and I love you to your other friends was different so you usually just refrained from saying it
Callahan laughed silently to himself quickly typing “I L- you too” his heart soared anytime you told him you loved him though he tried not to think much of it because you always said I love you to everyone else so it was just your thing right? Though it was painfully obvious you didn’t say it as much to him and that’s something he never understood and while it hurt like heck he could never bring himself to ask about it he was too scared he was too scared of being even more hurt so he just suffered in silence cherishing every time you told him you loved him even more each and every time you said it…
Once you ended the call with Callahan you quickly grabbed your phone FaceTiming Niki as you already begin packing.. Only a couple rings and she picks up “hi y/n! What’s up?!” You smile widely blushing brightly as you say “Well I may be taking a trip very soon…” she claps her hands together “really?! Where are you going?” You shrug softly finding your duffel bag “I don’t know yet” she turns her head at you curiously “what that makes no sense what do you-“ suddenly she stops a giant smile appearing on her face “YOU DID NOT” your smile widens as you nod excitedly “I DID I DID!” She screams happily “AAH Y/N I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!” You scream happily as well “AH THANK YOU” she excitedly says “YOU’RE WELCOME! So when are you leaving?” You throw your hands in the air “I don’t know probably within a week or two maybe?! We haven’t really discussed the details yet” she nodded softly “well let me know when you find them out!” You nodded back “I will I will! I’m gonna go ahead and get packed I’ll talk to you later love you!”
Callahan after ending call with y/n quickly grabbed his phone as he ran about tidying up. I began calling Dream and luckily within only a few rings he picked up “hello?” I quickly begin typing “DREAM” he laughs softly “what’s up calla?” I nearly bump into a wall as I’m typing but stop myself just before I hit it “Okay so I may have gotten asked by y/n if I would be okay with them coming out to meet me and I may have said yes…” Dream gasps softly and I can hear the smile in his voice as he speaks “What?! No way! I’m so happy for you guys! Finally! We’ve been trying to get you two to meet for years!” I roll my eyes light heartedly “I know I know so now you guys can finally stop nagging us” Dream laughs again “hey it was for your own goods okay? We’re just trying to help our friends be happy as they can be okay?” I smile to myself “yea yea whatever you say” he laughs more “Whaattt it’s true and you know it” I snicker to myself “maybe we’ll see, I’m gonna finish getting everything ready I’ll call you later okay?” I can hear his ever widening smile “Of course see you calla”
It was the next day and you were absolutely buzzing wishing you could tell chat the full story of why you weren’t gonna be able to stream next week but alas you and calla both wished to keep it very private in fact as far as you knew only Niki knew and as far as calla knew only Dream knew though you both suspected you had each more than likely had told someone neither of you knew for sure… anyways skip a bit and your stream has begun plenty of messages already asking what the title is about what does it mean and some being worried “Hello chat! Don’t worry don’t worry it’s nothing bad! It’s actually something really really good as to why I can’t stream!” Chat exploded asking millions of questions and others being relived that it was nothing bad, you laugh softly “Well I can’t spoil all the details as we wish to keep most of it private but I can’t stream next week because I’m meeting up with someone! Yes yes before you ask it’s someone you all know! Also again before you ask yes you can guess no I will not say if you got it right or not… at least not directly…”
Names come flying in like wild fire at first you’re seeing mainly Niki,Dream,Sapnap,even punz and bad but then you see one saying Callahan and you can’t stop the light blush that dusts your cheeks as you try to think of a way to discreetly let it be known someone guessed the right answer… Unable to think of one though you simply clap your hands and say “Okay guys someone guessed the right answer! I won’t say who and I won’t say details as I don’t wanna give it away but yes one of you guessed them!” And so of course chat lit up trying to figure out who the right answer was but alas they couldn’t figure it out, you laughed light heartedly at them and after that continued stream as normal just fiddling around the dream SMP setting up a few pranks and then deciding to build a little house with a small hint as to who you’re meeting with!
The house was simple it was made out of birch and dark oak and the small hint you used was you placed three flower pots on each of the widows.. in the first you placed a small red flower, in the second a small white one and in the final a small blue one.. You didn’t say anything about it being a hint you just placed the flowers and moved on doing a few more pranks. “Guys how do we prank Punz?” You giggled your body already erupted with butterflies knowing what Punz’s prank back to you would be “I already know he’s gonna get me back so badly but it’ll be worth it! I’m gonna replace all his pumpkins with melons!”
Chat explodes saying how thats such a simple but good prank and how punz will lose it and it’ll be so funny. You nod giggling “right right chat! So let’s get started shall we?” You begin and about ten minutes in suddenly calla shows up, you can’t help the excited smile on your face as you see Calla’s name pop up in game and you excitedly type “hi calla!” He types back “hi y/n!” You try to contain your ever growing smile “What’s up?” He says “Not much I’m watching your stream and saw you’re trying to prank punz so I decided to come help” You quickly nod now knowing he’s watching your stream you verbally say “Really?! I’d appreciate that so much thank you calla” He quickly says “Of course it’s not problem” and in no time he’s over there with you helping you replace all the pumpkins with watermelons, the job definitely gets done a lot quicker with calla there to help and it honestly is a lot more fun having calla there to bounce jokes off with you! In no time the job is done you quickly thank calla and tell him you’ll talk to him tomorrow and you end stream.
Before you go to bed you check your phone and see a text from calla “Hey so i forgot to ask earlier is that like our house or something? I noticed you made two bedrooms but you could always just make one and use the other to expand the work area if you want but if not it’s cool” You smile softly reading the text “I love the idea of expanding the room I’ll get on tomorrow off stream and fix it and yea it’s our little house… I hope you don’t mind I mean I just figured it’d be a nice little place ya know an extra place for each of us to keep things and to stay… I’m glad you got the flower hint, anyways I’ll work on it tomorrow I’m gonna try and get some sleep goodnight calla” A few minutes later a text pops up “Don’t worry I can always help and work on it besides there’s my own little hint that I wanna add as well so I’ll do it and I hope you sleep well goodnight can’t wait to see you next week” Your smile widens more as a your heart pounds “I can’t wait to see you either ❣️”
Throughout the rest of the week you only did two more streams and of course each one chat tried to get you or whoever happened to be on stream with you to spill who it was you were meeting with but no one you streamed with that week knew… besides calla of course! Chat didn’t believe them when they would say they didn’t know and it was honestly comical seeing them get so upset. It started with Sapnap and George and ended with Boomer and Punz.. Even after stream the duos had tried to get you to spill who you were meeting with but you refused to spill even to them, insisting they can wait just a few more days and though the four of them whined they settled and finally let you go.
So we fast forward and it’s Monday you leave tomorrow so you’re finishing last minute packing and waiting for Karl to come over so you can give him your spare keys because he so graciously agreed to watch your cats! Also so he can just hang out with you a bit before you have to leave and can drive you to the airport! You’re just about to start triple checking that you have everything when you hear a knock at your door. Your cats look at your curiously but don’t bother following see you rush to the door and open it to see a ever beaming Karl! He quickly rushes in hugging you tightly making you giggle as you hug him just as tightly “hi Karl!” He giggles softly “hi y/n!” After a few minutes you break apart and he quickly shuts your door. “Soooo since I’m watching your cats do I get to know where you’re going and who you’re seeing?”
You shake your head laughing softly “Sorry but no you’ll find out when everyone else does! I will say I’m going somewhere I’ve never been before” He tilts his head curiously trying to think “hmm I don’t know there’s a lot of places you’ve never been like you have yet to go to the UK, you have yet to go to like any of the states uhmm are you meeting someone you’ve never met?! Is it Sam?! Oh my gosh it’s Sam isn’t it?! You’ve never been to Texas and you’ve never met Sam!” You shake your head “Good guess good guess and while I would love to go meet Sam it is not Sam..” he pouts slightly “hmm well I don’t know there’s so many other guesses I could make” You smile and roll your eyes softly “Well instead of guessing where I’m going how about you help me double check that I have everything okay?”
He nods smiling softly “okay sounds good!” So for the rest of the night you and Karl double and triple check your bags and then just chill out watching your friends streams and posting pictures together! You both laugh at the fans freaking out over the random content of you two and laugh even more at them freaking out over karl with your cats. Two of your cats loved Karl but they love everyone so it wasn’t surprising but your third isn’t too fond of him but she’s not too fond of anyone, still Dream is convinced when he comes to visit you that she’ll love him and Karl is convinced that spending this week visiting them he’ll be able to make her love him. You’re not confident of either of those things happening but it makes you happy to see them so confident and happy so who are you to destroy their happiness.
Another small time skip and suddenly it’s Tuesday afternoon and time for you to leave, after spending an extra few minutes telling your cats goodbye and promising you’ll be back soon and that they know karl and he’ll take amazing care of them. Karl finally manages to pull you out the door and suddenly it’s all becoming more real than ever… It’s so real you’re frozen in place just standing outside your door, Karl locks your door for you and helps you sit on the ground outside your door rubbing your back “it’s okay everything is gonna be fine, we’re gonna get you to the airport the plane ride is gonna be your smoothest ever and when you get there they’re gonna be there waiting for you smiling widely and with open arms ready to give you the biggest and best hug you’ve ever had apart from my hugs” you nod and then giggle softly both because of how you don’t believe at all his statement of them being there waiting and smiling with open arms and also at his joke “Thank you Karl you’re the best you know that right?” He smiles softly squeezing your shoulder reasssuringly before smiling hopefully “so much the best that you’ll tell me who you’re meeting?” You giggle rolling your eyes “nooo not that much the best but I can give you another hint” he nods “okay okay go on!”
“Okay so I’ve never met them, I’ve never been to the place they live and they’ve been on my stream within the past month” Karl hummed in thought able to rule out, Sapnap, Dream, Alex, and Boomer… That still left way too many people so he shrugged “I don’t know I guess I’ll have to wait like everyone else” You smile softly “Well I can also say at least one person knows, I don’t know if the person I’m meeting told anyone but I assume they told at least one person so hehe” He gasps in mock offense “you told someone?! And that someone wasn’t me?! I’m so wounded!” You laugh at his dramatics “yes yes I did, it’s not that I don’t trust you obviously I do but it was just this certain person for some reason came to mind first but I wanted and still want to tell you as well but the person I’m meeting with wants to keep it very private for right now” he smiles softly hugging you gently “it’s okay don’t worry about it I’m happy for you okay? Now let’s get you to that airport!”
So now you were off! In no time you managed to make it to the airport and you had to admit it was kinda hard to leave Karl, you didn’t get to see him often as you would like.. He was always busy with mr beast and his own projects and you weren’t one to go out much so while you were frequently invited to be in mr beast videos you rarely agreed to them.. Karl sighs softly as he helps you get your bags, he sets them down beside you and hugs you tightly pressing a kiss to the top of your head “Be safe okay? Text me when you land” You hug him back even tighter and nod softly “I will don’t worry, I love you” after a few moments he lets you go “I love you too” Soon enough it was time to board the plane, the plane ride went fairly smooth only one crying toddler who luckily fell asleep and little turbulence and when getting your bags you even ran into a few fans who you gladly took pictures with and who tried light heartedly to get you to spill who you were meeting with to which you simply laughed and gave them a few extra wrist bands you kept with you and gave them to them as you said sorry that you weren’t able to tell them.
Today was finally the day! I rushed to finish getting ready knowing y/n should be arriving to the airport in no time and just as I finished getting ready and grabbed my keys my phone began ringing I quickly picked up and smiled brightly hearing y/n’s voice “hi calla! I just made it to the airport and got my bags! Are you here?” I quickly typed “not yet I’m leaving now I should be there in like thirty! I’m sorry I’m running a little late I couldn’t find the last piece of my outfit” They laughed softly and I blushed softly holding back my own laugh at how infectious theirs was “It’s okay i understand it’s a big thing so the outfit needs to be just right haha I’ll see you soon okay?” Though they can’t see it I nod excitedly as I respond “Yes see you soon can’t wait!” With that I hang up and make my way out the door, soon enough I’ve made it to the car and after what feels like forever but it’s really maybe forty five minutes at most I’ve finally made it to the airport! I take a deep breathe closing my eyes and opening them moments later..
I quickly put on my captain America mask, my light up red nose and raise my hood… Was I embarrassed? Yes definitely, was the chance of making y/n laugh and ensuring they would recognize me worth it? There’s no doubt it’s worth it… Another deep breathe and I manage to get myself into the airport and I begin scanning for y/n and within a few minutes I spot them! I quickly wave at them smiling widely and they break into a smile before trying to contain their laughter, I make my way over to them and press my nose to make it light up and thats when the dam breaks and they’re ever so melodious laughter rings through my ears…There’s something different about it this time though it sounds even better, it feels even more special, it makes me heart soar more than ever before. I find it hard to contain my own laughter a very small snicker escaping causing me to blush and quickly cover my mouth..
You’re practically doubled over in laughter in the middle of the airport but you don’t care you’re with Callahan and everything just feels so right… A few moments pass and you finally collect yourself, you boop his light up nose, he squints his eyes a bit and then pulls the nose off placing it gently on your own. You smile softly at him and start to stand on your tip toes to ensure you can reach his nose but then stop yourself realizing this isn’t Karl or Dream or even Sapnap this Callahan we’ve never met before you can’t just kiss his nose, or grab his hand as we walk or hug him.. He looks at you curiously and you simply play it off “You have a very nice nose” Your eyes widen realizing how that sounds “wait wait I mean this nose not your nose I mean not not that your nose is bad it’s a great nose I just ugh forget it let’s just go so if I embarrass myself anymore at least we’ll be alone”
He smirks softly nodding and holding a hand out for one of my bags, you hand it to him and smile and his smirk turns to a smile as he slings the bag over his shoulder and then holds his hand out again… You’re confused at first and go to push the handle of your wheely bag into his hand but he shakes his head and grabs your hand clasping your hands together.. You blush a light pink smiling happily as you walk off hands swinging softly, you don’t speak until you’ve made it to his car and he signs that you can choose the music. You smile softly connecting your phone to his Bluetooth and deciding to do a mix of new boy bands you liked and nostalgic songs.. You start with love song by why don’t we, you tap your hand to the beat humming a long at first but then softly singing… Callahan sneaks small glances at you smiling brightly seeing you beginning to let yourself loose.. Next comes this love by maroon five your eyes widen as you hear a tapping and then humming as you’re singing, you smile widely as you look to Callahan and see him jamming out! He notices you looking and blushes and stops but you shake your head and giggle “Don’t stop it’s okay I like it maybe we can harmonize together” He smiles a bit and nods, you begin singing again and he taps to the beat and then begins humming once more and in no time you’re harmonizing.. The song ends and you glance at each other wide smiles on your faces and light pink hues dusting your cheeks… You begin to just let a random playlist play different songs ranging from toxic by Britney Spears to The right stuff by new kids on the block plays but then hey Stephen by Taylor swift pops up and suddenly the lyrics come flooding into your mind and you blush brightly quickly skipping it, it’s too early to be playing that, it’s too early to be thinking of Callahan like that and making it so obvious… Luckily for you just before the lyrics really start you’ve made it to Callahan’s house..
Calla quickly hops out and helps you grab one of your bags his other hand grabbing your free one as he leads you to his door.. As you step inside you glance around smiling it’s very clean and simple sure it definitely looks lived in despite what you can see by the bag of trash calla forgot to take out the cleaning supplies he forgot to put back under the cabinet it looks lived in but in a very good way in a comforting way.. You’re not scared you’re gonna ruin anything or like you’re gonna mess anything up “Calla it’s beautiful” He smiles sheepishly as he signs “It’s not much but it’s home here come here and I’ll show you your room and then show you around” You nod and allow him to continue holding your hand as he takes you to your room, once you reach your room he lets go and sets your bag on the bed and you roll your other bag beside it and you nearly shiver at first… Not because the room is cold but your hand is cold and empty feeling like you’ve been outside playing in snow without gloves on so now your hand is freezing but yet feels empty not having the cold snow in it anymore…
He signs “I’ll uh let you settle in and when you’re done you can come out to the living room and we can order pizza or something and watch some tv” You nod and smile softly “Thanks that sounds great” he nods and leaves and so you begin unpacking and as you’re unpacking you get a call it’s from Niki, you smile widely and excitedly as you pick up “Hi Niki!” She smiles excitedly waving “Hi y/n! How’s everything going?!” You sigh in happiness and content as you say “It’s going great ihihi ehe I don’t know if he would like for me to say this but he showed up at the airport dressed like his minecraft skin!” She giggles “No way?! So you still haven’t even seen his face?” Your eyes widen as you suddenly realize “You’re right I haven’t, well I haven’t seen his whole face and I haven’t even seen his hair” Her eyes widen as she says “Is he ever gonna show you his face or what’s going on with that?” You shrug softly grabbing your phone as you finish unpacking “I don’t know honestly? I’m not gonna rush him into doing anything ya know? I mean I know at some point he’s probably gonna take the mask off and he has to take the reindeer onesie off sometime” she nods “Oh yea no no I wasn’t trying to pressure him or anything I was just genuinely curious,so what are you gonna do for your first night and where’s calla’s room compared to yours?” You smile and blush a bit “We’re gonna order pizza and watch tv and his room his just down the hall from mine there’s a bathroom in between our rooms” she wiggles an eyebrow teasingly “So are you gonna cuddle during the tv watching?” You roll your eyes light heartedly “No probably not I don’t wanna make him uncomfortable but then again I don’t know.. maybe… because well…” you pause blushing more hiding your face in your hands as you try and wipe the absolutely love sick look off your face but you’re unable to, Niki’s smile can’t get any wider as she excitedly asks “What what what because what?!” You bite your lip a bit and then take a small breathe before saying “Well he grabbed one of my bags when he met me at the airport and he held his hand out so I thought he wanted my other bag but he shook his head grabbed my hand and held it… and when we were walking to his car his kept holding my hand and when we got to his place he did it again and he actually didn’t let go until he let go so I could unpack…. And you know it’s weird.. my hand has felt cold ever since he let go…” Her eyes soften and she coos softly “Aweee y/n that’s so cute! Maybe you can hold hands when watching tv or something then I’m sure he wouldn’t mind” You nod “maybe maybe I don’t know I’m just so nervous to mess up I mean we’re friends we’re not anything else and this is our first time meeting and as far as I know his first time meeting any of us so I just want it to be good” she nods “Don’t overthink! It’s good you wanna take it slow and it’s good that you’re being cautious and concerned about his needs and comfort but don’t forget your own needs and comfort okay?” You smile thankfully at her “I won’t I won’t! I’m gonna go now I don’t wanna keep him waiting any longer, I love you thank you for everything” she smiles lovingly at you “Of course darling I love you too I’m always here day or night whatever you need whenever you need it bye have a good time” you nod “I will! Bye!”
So with that the call ends and you change into some simple pajama pants and a t-shirt before heading to the living room.. Your eyes widen a bit and seeing the back of Callahan’s head seeing his shortish brunette hair, but then you smirk to yourself a bit seeing he’s stood distracted looking through the TV for a decent movie or TV show… You sneak behind him and poke his sides! He jumps and lets out a small squeak whipping around to face you with wide eyes before his eyes narrow and he playfully smirks at you but then smiles mischievously… “Ohoho mahhannn that was sohoho gohohohod” You were lost in giggles but then saw his face and looked at him and began backing up nervously “Calla… whatever you’re planning d-don’t…” He pauses faking as if he’s thought before shaking his head no and quickly running at you, grabbing you and carrying you to the couch! You squeal in surprise giggles already tumbling out “EEP CALLA Nohohoho!” He tosses you gently onto the couch and carefully sits on your waist straddling you, you cover your face whining softly “Callahahaaaaa” You hear him snicker and you squeak and flinch feeling his hands shoot towards your sides even though they never touched you… You heard a very small laugh and your smile widened as you peeked out from behind your hands and Calla was smiling widely at you lost in thought it seemed…You smirked a bit and poked his stomach and he jumped covering his stomach before his eyes lit again with mischief and his hands darted towards your sides… This time though making contact! His fingers began curiously poking at your sides and he couldn’t help the delighted smile on his face as you squirm back and forth between his poking fingers, soon pokes turn to scribbles and scribbles to squeezes and you’re left laughing your heart out gasping for breathe but you wouldn’t have it any other way… Suddenly a knock is heard interrupting your laughter as Calla pauses and you both realize the pizza is here! Calla swiftly hops off you and runs to the door to pay before you can even manage to collect yourself enough to stand, let alone make it to the door.
Calla already knew all your favorite toppings seeing as you shared most of the same favorite toppings, he came back to the living room carrying two big pizza boxes, a medium box and a very small box… You went to the kitchen and began grabbing you and Calla drinks and plates and by the time you got back Calla already had everything ready to serve and had on the aristocats! You smile fondly at him setting your drinks down as your hand instinctively in a way gently cups his face as you run your thumb along it, he shivers slightly at the coldness of your hand and you giggle “sorry I forgot my hand would be cold, anyways you didn’t have to turn this on we could’ve watched whatever you wanted to” he shrugs softly before his hand comes to cup yours pushing it further against his face as his other hand signs “No you’re the guest so you get first movie choice and since I already know all your favorites and you’ve been talking about wanting to watch this one for weeks we’re watching this one okay?” You smile slightly wider as you nod “Okay whatever you say Calla, I’m not some kind of royalty though so don’t treat me like it okay? I’m just y/n I’m nothing special” even though you may not have necessarily meant to sound so self deprecating or depressing it still hurt Callahan deeply to hear you talk about yourself like that he sighed quietly as he gently removed your hand from his face and in a gentle movement cupped your face with both his hands as he closed his eyes for a few moments before opening them again he did not expect this to happen so soon but he’s gonna follow his gut… He shakily open his mouth saying “y/n p-p-please don’t t-talk a-about yourself like that… you’re even better than royalty honestly… You’re one of the best things to ever happen to me in my entire life and I’ll forever be grateful for you and I… well I… I hope you feel the same… Can I um? Am I allowed to? Is it okay if I?….”
You’re stuck in shock for a moment processing hearing his voice for the first time ever, it’s so nothing like you ever expected yet also somehow it fits him perfectly and you wouldn’t change it at all after finally recollecting yourself you nod and close the gap between your faces… Your lips connect and it’s almost like you feel a little explosion in your stomach like hundreds of mini fireworks went off…The fireworks increasing as he cups your face with both his hands…After a few more seconds you each break apart smiling at each other while blushing bright red… You look at Calla curiously “so um what does this mean?” He shrugs softly his voice a bit scratchy because it’s not used much at all “Well what do you want it to mean?” You shrug back “Well I mean I’d like it to mean something special… I’d like it to mean we’re a thing honestly but I don’t wanna rush you or rush things I mean this is our first time meeting this is literally my first night here and we’ve already kissed… Which I loved the kiss don’t get me wrong I loved it but I guess just for now it’ll be a kiss and nothing more? We’ll just give it the rest of my time here and see at the end of the week to see how we feel? And we’re definitely not going to tell anyone because it’ll make it all harder agreed?” He nodded laughing softly at the last bit “that sounds good and yes I definitely agree, um I know I like just started using my voice but can I go back to signing my throat is actually getting really sore” Your eyes soften as you nod “of course! Never feel like you have to talk to me okay? Don’t force yourself I’m just fine with us using sign to communicate though your voice is really nice to hear don’t feel pressured or insecure or anything I lo-I um… I…” His eyes widen a bit as his blush darkens and he signs “You what? Why do you almost never say you love me?” You sigh softly glancing away before staring at your lap “Because it’s not the same and I was scared… I didn’t wanna say it because when I say it to you I don’t mean it how I say it to everyone else and I just it didn’t feel right saying it to you so much and it being something completely different” He holds your hand gently rubbing his thumb on your palm making you giggle softly and his eyes soften as he uses his free hand to say “It’s okay I get it and I appreciate it now actually knowing why you didn’t say it and I lo- you too!” You smile and roll your eyes light heartedly squeezing his side “You’re such a nerd dude” he squeaks at the squeeze narrowing his eyes playfully and you smirk “You know I still haven’t gotten my revenge yet…” His eyes widen as he backs up and begins to try and stand as he signs “Y/N don’t do it…”
My eyes are widened as I’m backing up seeing the mischievous glint in y/n’s eyes as they say “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t” I sit for a moment trying think of one and just shrug, they snicker “Welp I don’t see or hear you giving me a good reason” With that they begin scribbling on my sides and despite my best efforts to hold back I can’t and I break into giggles that near soft laughter the closer to my ribs or hips they get! They definitely notice because soon after they move one hand to my hip squeezing and kneading as their other scribbles up and down and inbetween my ribs! I let out the most embarrassing squeal before falling into loud laughter! I attempt to squirm away from them but as they hit a couple particularly sensitive areas I actually fall off the couch sending us tumbling the two of us in an out of breathe heap on the floor.. We both groan softly and then giggle “Like the view? Cause I kinda like my view” They scoff and lightly slap my arm before getting off me and pulling me up, I pull them into a hug and they seem worried at first and tense maybe thinking I’m gonna tickle them again but they sigh contently as I fall gently back onto the couch with them keeping my hold on them as I press play on the movie… Y/n falls asleep about half way through the movie and I don’t have the heart to move them so I simply turned on another movie and soon fell asleep my own self..
Ok, so, just some venting here.
(this post will be deleted this night I think since it's very personal. It's just a way to kinda feel better, but at the same time I feel so embarrassed, then idk)
Uhm, never wanted to do something like this before, but, since I just want to listen to my impulsive side this time, I don't care 😗✌🏻.
(sorry if I'm going to be less "sweet" than usual, but I'm literally exhausted and the last thing I want to do is being compassionate with myself)
⚠️slight tw for mental health later (please don't read if you can be triggered 🙏🏻)⚠️
I already said that several times, but this last period has been really stressful for me.
Do you know which is the thing that annoyed me the most? Well, the fact that in reality nobody cares about you (I'm talking about my case of course).
I've always been really humble because I can't stand bragging, but I have to say this: irl I feel like I'm the only one who really cares about people.
I love listening to people and people's problems, don't get me wrong please, but I hate when the others literally ignore you.
Just because I'm being kind doesn't mean I like people to take advantage of me. I'm stupid, I know, but I don't reach that level in which I don't understand the difference between talking and taking advantage of someone.
It's not that I want something in exchange, but I don't even want to be left alone. Ok, it can be difficult to stand me, I understand, but just tell me then, I don't act like if it's all alright.
I've never heard a "How are you?", never; neither a "Do you want to spend some time together?". The only thing I've been hearing for years is "Hey I've this problem, can you fix it?" "I don't know how to behave, any advice?". I love helping people, but I'd love also to have a sort of relationship going on, like a friendship and I don't think I'm asking that much. I don't wanna be useful just when a problem to solve appears.
⚠️BIG TW HERE: if you can be triggered and didn't go away from the first tw, please go now, I don't wanna make you feel bad ⚠️
Also, when I started having worse problems, who started caring? NO ONE.
I instantly became even more useless, because I was and still am empty inside. I ruined myself because I care too much about everything and my wish is just one now: giving up.
Anything is worth it now. The more years pass and the worse I feel; I hate when people just say "But there are people who are doing worse than you, don't complain!" "Do you know how much kids with cancer or rare pathologies suffer?". Of course I know that, but do you know how difficult it is to live with a fucking eating disorder? Do you know how anxiety has been ruining my life? Do you know how much sh is bad? Do you know all that? I really hope not for you, because otherwise I'd be so sorry.
I'm sure that people who told me that haven't understood my feelings and yk it's also understandable, especially because I would never in my life recommend feeling the absolute emptiness inside you. And I'm not talking about being in the blue or something, but feeling like if you aren't even existing. You're just a little human still "fighting" and going on because of the daily routine you have and because of what your messed up brain tells you.
I'd just like to be normal, but the more years pass and the more I realise I'll never be someone normal or important.
Teachers keep telling "She's so smart", "She's good at everything", "I wish all my students were like that", but do you really know what's going inside me? When I had to go to the hospital because of my issues, you, dear teacher, did you care about me? No, because tests and marks were more important.
I've always been dedicating all of my life to studying and practicing my sport. I've just had two friends that I discovered taking advantage of me, but then nothing else.
The only thing I want is one: someone listening to me like I always did with others. But you know what? It would be such a selfish thing of me, because caring like I always did with people means ruining your life for others. It means staying awake all nights to keep thinking about someone else's issue and find a solution, spending all your free time for others and completely forget about yourself. And all this to discover what? To discover that when you almost pass out in front of your friend you were just ✨sleepy✨. If I was sleepy I would have used a bed, don't you think, my dear 🥰? Also, if you see me panicking in too crowded places don't you think it would be better not to say "Oh come on, they're not hurting you, don't be like that!" 🤭❤️? Or again "Oh why are you not eating that? You've always liked it *starts touching me*" like, do you wanna get instantly electrocuted? Just asking, I'm in a silly goofy mood today 🤪.
Of course not everyone is like that, I absolutely hate generalising; also, this is just what happened to me irl, not here on Tumblr.
So, to sum up a bit, I'm just tired of all this. I hate looking at the mirror and hating myself. Also, I've already asked for help and fortunately it has got a bit better, but I just can't handle it anymore, so that's it.
I'll kinda regret deleting this, since I spent 30 minutes doing it 🤡, but still.
Thank you so so much for your attention and for reading this poem (lol). I was really harsh here, then sorry if I indirectly offended someone, I just wanted to vent.
Thank you so incredibly much again and try to have a great day/night ❤️
My Essay About What Makes Ace Trappola, Ace:
The following essay has spoilers for all the main chapters, personal stories, has my hc’s down below, speculation on the dynamics of the Trappola family and his ex, many people underestimate Ace and with good reason to back it up, he’s an ass. He’s stupid but I’ve decided to shed some light on this misunderstood character. I am not a simp for him nor will I ever be but I do respect him and wish for others to see what I see. Let’s get on to the essay shall we?
Author’s Notes: I can’t believe I made this in the span of 2 hours yesterday and continued to add things this morning. Has a word count of 2.7k Reblogs, Comments, and Likes are appreciated! I am using the Fandom wiki page and Shel_BB’s translation videos as my references.
He's intelligent– yes, we all know he's done a lot- no massively stupid things in the game. Still, people forget that he is bright when the situation calls for it, for example, in his personal SSR uniform story ROOK. ROOK HUNT praises this little asshole for how quickly he took to the hedgehog language (and another language, but I forgot). Even Rook said that this language was difficult for him— A FUCKING 3RD YEAR ACE’S SENIOR THE CREEP OF THE SCHOOL SAID THIS! All in all, he’s an intelligent young man but only uses his intellect to save his ass. He learned that language to prevent Riddle from kicking his ass for losing his hedgies. Ace just needs the MOTIVATION to show off when nothing is in it for himself.
A.) There are multiple instances where the game and he in question uses his smarts in small ways. At the beginning of Chapter 5, when the trio first finds out about VDC and the prize money, he does the math exceptionally quickly—at the same time, leaving Deuce and Grim in the arithmetic dust. Again as I’ve said for this point, there are times when he shows his smarts but in one of two ways, small ways or when he’s out to save his skin.
2. Ok, let’s address the elephant in the room. His emotional intelligence, while it fluctuates, as ordinary teen boy’s are, he is shown to be well… a fucking asshat to Deuce, especially in Chapter 5, but we must talk about Chapter 1 and Ghost Marriage—
A. Ace bluntly puts it to Riddle both verbally and physically that his dorm leader was taking things way too far, and he knocked sense into his senior. He goes on to acknowledge that what Riddle’s mother did was wrong, and treating her son as if he was some trophy was wrong. It didn’t mean what Riddle was doing was right or that it worked for the others.
It led to Rosheart’s Overblot, yes, but afterward, he still makes a point that Riddle, while crying, still needs to apologize to his dorm-mates fully and that crying won’t fix anything, for example, the garden or the trauma they most likely have. (Listen, you can’t tell me that fighting the equivalent of a magical mental breakdown with your senior + dorm leader as a boss to fight isn’t traumatic.) While this is very mean or insensitive, it also serves as a lesson to Riddle to what I believe, to make Riddle not a cry baby or shed crocodile tears to get out of acknowledging what his actions be them in the past or the future. And how to properly apologize. Ace demands a redo of that Unbirthday party, and Riddle cheers up and is lenient, even pulling a trick on his Heartslabyul students.
B. As we explore further into the Ghost Marriage Event and in the heat of the last Battle between Chubby (I wished they did better on my man’s name. The dude’s suffered the “I’m happy [Girl’s name] will be happy with her ideal man, but I won’t say my feelings.” trope so bad for eons, and they saddle you with this? C’mon. That’s mean. Anyway.)
He lectures Eliza on how her “ideal prince” does not exist. He is blunt to a fault, but this is what the fallen princess needs/needed to hear. He tells her that your “ideal prince” shouldn’t be based on outrageous appearances or what they have or don’t have, or their abilities are. What matters is that you laugh, you cry together, you fight together, but you make up with each other.
Nothing about what his ideal girl or s/o would look like. Most of us irl have this idea of their s/o, or what traits they must have as our dream girl or s/o. He knows that if he makes the “My Dream Girl or S/O” list, that girl or person, that idea of them/her will stray further and further away from reality.
Let’s be honest, what Eliza listed off for her ‘one and only’ is outrageously naive and something a young child would say. At this point, even before her death, she should’ve been told that he would never be real. That she needed to be brought back down to Twisted Wonderland and have someone suitable for her, not someone she wanted in the beginning but what she needed. But even, in the end, Eliza lives in this fantasy until Ace wakes her up with the truth.
To me, this shows a tremendous amount of his emotional intelligence and that he’s not stupid or naive to believe that his “princess” is out there. This life is not a fairytale, and he knows it. He wants someone to share those things with him, to laugh with him, to cry, to fight, but also makeup. And how he would be content with the small stuff with his S/O.
C. But let’s also talk about what else we learned about him in this event. Despite him being emotionally mature here, he is also shown as still immature. On this note, I will talk about Ace’s Ex-girlfriend and their messy break-up. According to Ace, he broke up with her because she got boring and didn’t want to go on Roller Coasters.
(I will admit this made me dislike him more because of how easily I could put myself and my former crush in this situation.) He does not elaborate on what she was like or other potential reasons for their breakup, but this is my headcanon (and me projecting a bit, but). They are inferred to be extremely young, maybe preteens or in the young teenage range, and let’s be honest.
Dating at that age is incredibly new, awkward, strange, fun. This leads me to believe that he and his Ex were each other’s 1st’s on the dating scene and thus made everything messy. I have reason to believe that he simply fell out of love with her and wasn’t sure how to say it to her, and that made his ex and her friends go after him. He fell out of love, and that’s something everyone has experienced at least once in their life.
Romance often falls short on every platform. How one can say politely that you’ve fallen out of love with another without some soap opera to go along with it. And at that age, you’re not sure what you’re feeling along with puberty and young love. Things at that age catch the fire of desire quickly but also dies fast.
Now I’m not saying what he did was right on any front because it wasn’t, but we can try to see the situation with this new information with clearer eyes. He and his girlfriend were young, that we know. What we probably know is that they were each other’s 1st. First love is messy, and I doubt that Ace will ever forget her, and as he ages, he might grow to regret how he did things and ended it. Thoroughly in all, this shows that his teen years, like all of us, have ups and downs, some things that when we look back on when we’re old to have wished we've done differently, and that’s a human trait I like in his character— self-reflection. The potential of his growth, be it in fanfics, art, or canon information.
3. Let’s get onto more of his personality. As I’ve said, he’s authentic and blunt, uncaring of the fantasies the person in question wants to hear or not: his loyalty, humor, and bits of Tsundereness.
A.) Loyalty— At the beginning. Yes, he’s not a martyr of this value. Again he’s out to save his own ass. Still, as the game progresses, especially in Chapter 4, he, along with Deuce, come literally running to Yuu and Grim’s rescue from a small distress signal. If Ace never valued this relationship he forged, then he would never have given them his number or have cared to go through that rigorous journey of transportation from the Rose Kingdom to Night Raven College. For reference, Chapter 5. If this doesn’t melt your heart even a bit, my eyebrow is arched at you. Now the question is if his loyalty comes from self-interest or how he views his relationships. That I don’t have an answer for, but this leads to my next point.
B.) Tsundere vibes, baby 😎
He is a sixteen-year-old anime boy with pride that will forever drown me if it were put in liquid form along with every other Night Raven College student and Staff member. This dude, this teenager, this bastard. As I’ve said before, I will say again. His emotional maturity/intelligence goes up and down like those roller coasters he loves so much and thus makes him apprehensive and “uncool” to admit the “cheesy” things, even when Yuu says to Ace and Deuce put on the “We didn’t care.” Act, but their actions speak volumes.
This is not the 1st instance where he does something that contradicts his words, but this little bit of information we need to dig deeper into the game.
Ace says that Grim was causing a stir whenever Yuu isn’t around and that they need to keep a better eye on the furball. This, however, calls into question that if Ace does some bits of supervision on Grim, I say yes, but again it’s more subtle, and once more, he needs the motivation to do something. He does make sure Grim doesn’t give Yuu too much stress and, on occasion, is seen scolding the rock-eating rat bastard.
C.) Humor— Ace’s humor varies from making others the butt of his jokes to at the expense of others. While it’s hurtful, I will say that one scene at the end of Chapter 4 where Ace goes full toddler made me die. Most of his jests are either unintentionally or intentionally mean-hearted, but he doesn’t in his mind believe them to be inherently hurtful. This is where a potential S/O might step in and tell him to either knock it the hell off or scoff a little. His humor does a lot with his age, and he might or not grow out of it. *Looks at my brother’s friends that still laugh at fart jokes* for the S/O’s sake, I hope.
4. How family made a significant change in who he is today. He talks of his father and brother in some of his personal stories, and in the Main story, I can’t remember the exact times, but one was when Yuu and Grim first met him. He talks proudly of them, while he’s not ignorant to sibling fights or parental involvement, this shows that he knows and values family.
A.) He talks of how his older brother attended Night Raven College 7 years prior (making Ace 9 prime age for idolizing brother dearest.) But within multiple primary and personal stories, he tells that his brother taught him how to lie, and pretty good, I’ll admit. His brother told him always to mix the truth with the lie, so it's not an outright lie. We can also infer through the evidence above that their relationship is sibling rivalry or the typically older and younger sibling dynamic. Meaning they've been into fights, older brother if I remember correctly, did lock Ace in a closet?? (I might be morphing another character’s background to Ace’s, but I do remember Ace’s brother did something like this.) Ace’s brother got more excited for Ace than his parents because of the invitation to NRC. If this doesn't speak volumes of their dynamics and relationship, I don't know what will.
B.) His relationship with his Father, while we know that his father has no magic (defeating the idea of Ace making fun of Yuu being magic-less. But instead finds it amusing the lack of “basic history.” Our equivalent of hearing someone not knowing how the founding fathers founded your country.) He views his father as an equal and as someone that’s his parental figure, and he’s admitted to watching his father’s card tricks and making them his own. Ace shows how much he cares for his father and doesn’t see him as any less of an equal because of his lack of magic, unlike how Riddle made fun of Yuu for being magicless. (https://youtu.be/7AOOLYJEg30 Timestamp: 1:29.)
This made Ace punch Riddle, and again this is a personal headcanon, and it might be true that those with no magic, i.e., his father, have faced discrimination for lacking something the person had no control over.
Those doing the bias commonly are powerful mage’s unsympathetic to those without that gift—making Ace incredibly sensitive and willing to jump into action whenever faced with a situation where one person with magic is discriminatory towards another. I have no doubts that once Ace, or his brother, was old enough to understand what his father might’ve been facing, they both wanted to step in and stop it.
C.) Mother? Or Step-Mother? As far as I know, Ace makes no effort to speak of his mother, for example, openly, Deuce and his mom. Deuce reveres his mother as a patron of kindness and patience, while we have no idea or information of Ace’s mom or if his mother sadly passed away. While the idea of his mother passing would contradict my previous statement and evidence, this might show how Ace and his mother may not have a good relationship. While, of course, they love and care for each other, I have the feeling that they butt heads many, many times.
D.) A new addition to the family part— but after thinking, his value for the small things, Laughing together, crying, and fighting might have occurred with how his parents are with each other, we have no idea of what Ace’s parents’ personalities are. Still, I believe that his father and mother did just that. Fight, cry, laugh. But they still made up. The interpretations of them are up in the air, but how would Ace get that idea from himself, an immature 16-year-old boy? His parents. Fighting in front of children is often frowned upon but not unheard of, but they still have a healthy relationship implied.
E.) And this makes me think of how Ace treated Riddle after the latter’s overblot, that his parents instilled into their boys how to apologize and make up with each other appropriately. Ace doesn't strike me as the type of person to accept a tear-filled apology rather have actions speak for themselves; his parents may share this trait with their youngest son and probably their eldest son too.
Have actions speak louder than words. This is further backed up with my previous comments and the evidence in the game. This also may back up the idea of Ace being uncomfortable with saying “cheesy and uncool” things because his household never had that. Or the tsun vibes are too strong.
That’s all, folks. This is my essay on Ace. Yes, it has four bullet points I’m well aware of, but my blurps backing up this character, I think, is well put without much OOC or fan service.
By creating this essay, I am in no way, shape, or form trying to make Riddle a racist or demonize him. What I wish is to shed light on Ace’s good and bad qualities. Everyone in this game of Twisted Wonderland has flaws and good traits. Riddle is a good character, and I feel for him too, but I am in no way trying to attack his fans or kins. Riddle needed to be woken up from his stupor, and in the words of a discord friend, “Someone needed to be the necessary evil.” So this is Sherbet Shark signing off and on to make an overdue payment.
am i not enough? (quackity x reader) - apocalypse!AU
( 。・_・。)人(。・_・。 ) | part of the @quackisinnit 1k event !
THE PROMPT IS . . . “ AM I NOT ENOUGH ? “
pairing: irl!quackity x genderneutral!reader (apocalypse!AU)
word count: 3,306
summary: the reader and alex become a duo while coming across each others paths during a zombie apocalypse. tensions rise as they set up camp in a warehouse, where alex begins to confess how he feels towards the reader. (angst into fluff <33)
tw: zombie apocalypse, blood (ment), cursing, guns, death, eating.
It had been three months since the fallen of mundane life. Three months of complete abnormality, everything known to be in existence that was worth caring about; completely gone. jobs, currency, education were becoming a historic relic. The world was put back to zero. Instead of cavemen and dinosaurs, the new species of flesh-eating corpse’s roamed in packs and seeked for fresh meat. They may have been slow, but they travelled in numbers and they could smell you from a mile away. I learned that your scent became less of a problem when you didn’t keep hygenic. My stence blended with the earth and blood and the roamers didn’t catch us out as much; so we used that to our advantage.
I only had one companion, his name was Alex. He was absolutely dumbfounded when I discovered him. I raided his abandoned home looking for supplies, and when I had to kill a roamer that vacaded in his bedroom; I found him curled up in a ball under his bed. He told me that he had been hiding the whole month when he realised help was to never come; so his only plan was to hide out until he ran out of supplies. That became a problem when I attempted to take them. We made the mutual agreement that if I was to take the supplies, he would come with me. I refused to stay and hide; that is how you get yourself killed. Thankfully he agreed to come with me, and we have been inseperable ever since. However, our bond is nothing close to a friendship, we just had to stick together to survive.
Alex’s main idea was to find a group, hoping by now someone had turned one of the surbubans into a mini civilization. We had travelled between three cities however and we found no sign of good company. As a duo, we have only killed one human within these three months. A man who tried to kill us at gunpoint in hopes of taking our things, to which we scarsely saved our lives by ducking behind a bar table. With one aimless shoot, I shot my gun and it pierced through the man’s chest. I saved our lives, but the sight of the man’s lifeless eyes still haunts me in my sleep.
One night, Alex found a two-store warehouse to shelter in while on a supply run. He suggested we camp on the second floor and catch up on our sleep and starvation, since we eventually got ahold of sleeping bags and tinned food. I agreed, but reminded him the stay can’t be perminant. He agreed also, still fixated on the idea of finding a commune.
While I made a fire and cooked food, I obvserved Alex drawing in a notepad. I failed to make out what he was doing so I asked, “What are you drawing?”
“I’m trying to draw a map.” He said to me, “It’s not accurate, but it will give us a rough idea of the roads until we find a map.”
“I didn’t take you as a smart person.” I said, hoping he didn’t think I meant it seriously. It was rare for me to joke in times like these, but when I did, my humour came off dry. Thankfully, my comment made Alex scoff out a chuckle.
“And I didn’t take you for a fighter.” Alex said. Since being with each other for two months, we both naturally adopted different roles that benefitted us. Alex was the navigator, the finder; he seemed to have a good sense of direction and I relied on him to not get lost. He also had a good eye and was always good at finding things such as second-way exits or food hiding in obscure places. For me, my job was a lot more physical. I was a good shoot, I knew how to make a fireplace, or bandage a wound. When things got dirty, I would get lucky and save our asses.
“Your food’s ready.” I said, handing him his warm can of chicken soup and a packet of chips. He thanked me, putting his notebook down and sitting cross-legged beside me. As we ate we sat in silence, the only sounds in the warehouse being our mouths chewing the food. We hadn’t ate in nearly a week. I tried my best to chew my chips before swallowing so I didn’t end up with stomache pain, but the instant flavour shot through my tongue and I instinctly ate them quickly. Alex finished his food within minutes, licking the chip packet and his fingers; scraping every last bit of soup from the can and into his mouth. I reluctantly did the same, feeling a little embarrassed; I have never felt so starved in my life.
“That was fucking amazing.” Alex sighed out, now heating his hands over the fire. I nodded in agreement, collecting the empty tin cans and keeping them next to our things. They will be handy for traps, tying them with strings and hanging them in the woods while hunting would let us know of intruders. It was the small things like that that has made us survive this long.
“Are you gonna go to sleep now? I could keep watch.” I offered, observing Alex’s bloodshot eyes. If we had mirrors, we would flinch at our reflections. Alex looked rough. He always wore his beanie, which he apparently did even before things got bad. He always had a collective spot of dirt on his nose and cheekbones no matter how clean we were, it’s where it always collected the most. His hands were the most dirty, dirt under his short nails and inbetween his fingers. From the rare occasions we touched hands, I felt the softness of his hands, compared to mine that felt aged and rough. His knuckles were stained with blood. Out of both of us, I was covered in the most blood. When I looked down, my hands had a reddish tint, observing more I could see small cuts on my hands from being idle with my knife when striking roamer’s heads. Without having to see, I knew I had sprays of blood on my face from the amount of times I killed roamers. To think when life was normal we cared so much about our appearence, but now activities like doing makeup, brushing your hair, brushing your teeth seemed so pointless. We were slowly becoming used to primitive life and deep down that scared me. I think it scared Alex too.
“I’m tired as fuck, but I know I won’t sleep.” Alex said in a low tone, looking at his hands full of shame. I nodded my head in understanding, knowing exactly how he was feeling. We hadn’t slept properly in months, instead when one person kept watch, the other just lay down with their eyes closed. We forgot what it was like to dream, or to feel hazy. We were constantly alert.
“Since we have no intention of sleeping. Why don’t we play a game?” Alex said. I cocked my eyebrow up in question. What game could we play that didn’t involve making noise and attracting attention?
“We ask each other 20 questions. Normally if you don’t want to answer a question- you would have to do a dare. But hey, wants the point in hiding nowadays?” Alex said, looking at me contently.
“We should be hiding ourselves more than ever, I think.” I said, adding fuel to the fire to keep it burning. “That way no one knows our weaknesses.”
“So you don’t trust me?” Alex said. His question threw me off. It’s not that I didn’t trust him, but maybe I was unwilling to get to know him. I had already lost the people close to me, and I was still in grieving. I was too afraid to get close with Alex. I always had the thought in the back of my head that one day, I might end up losing him. His intelligence may only get him so far.
“I understand.” Alex said, taking back his question. Seeing the hurt in my eyes, he must have realized what I was thinking. He lost his close ones too. We both lost so much, we had a mutual understanding about that. Yet, I looked at Alex, and he still felt like a mystery to me. He always pulled out jokes, even in times like these. However, in moments when he thought I wasn’t looking, I could see the pain concealed in his face. Sometimes I even heard him cry at night when he thought I was sleeping. Maybe it was about time we opened up to each other, instead of feeling like we need to suffer alone. We could be there for each other not just physically, but emotionally.
“Okay then, since it was your idea, you ask the first question.” I said, hugging my legs to my chest. Alex smiled a little at me, going into thought as he tried to think of a question.
“So, what did you do when life was normal?” He asked first.
I let out a sigh then replied, “I had a very normal life. Lived with my family, did average in school, worked a job to get money. I actually had plans of moving out to the city, I always wanted to go to LA. I never really had aspirations, just wanted to be content.” It sounded boring, but I was happy with my life. I had my ups and downs like everyone else. “What were you like?”
Alex smirked and looked away from me, seeming to become bashful. “I was a twitch streamer.” He said. “And had a Youtube channel. God- it sounds so stupid now that I say it. Like it was all pointless-”
“Were you like- famous?” I asked, trying to conceal a smile.
“Um- I guess you could say that. I had millions of followers.” Alex shook his head, “But I also went to college. I was studying law. I was always staying up late, barely sleeping; both studying and streaming all the time. It took up my whole life, that I just kinda forgot about everything else.”
“Well, you were obviously not famous, because I didn’t know who you were.” I jokingly said, nudging his side. That seemed to make him smile and feel less embarassed.
“So how the hell did you learn how to shoot if you lived such a normal life?” He asked.
“I just learned while doing it. My dad kept a gun.” I admitted, looking at the very same gun I had in the holster wrapped around my thigh. “He would teach me now and then how to use it, but I was never a shooter. The more roamers I shot, the more I got used to it.” Thinking about someone close to me made me chew the inside of my cheek anxiously.
To deflate my melancholy, I asked the next question. “Did you always wear that stupid hat?”
Alex chuckled and rubbed the top of his hat. “Yeah, twenty-four seven. I don’t why, I just find it comfortable. My “fans” would joke that I was bald because I never showed my hair.” He said, “God- saying the word fans sounds fucked up . . .”
“Maybe you’ll bump into one of them.” I said, “Heck- maybe there’s a commune right now dedicated to you, trying to find you and keep you safe.”
Alex laughed again, covering his face with his hands. I laughed alongside him, the first time I genuinely laughed in a good few weeks. Looking at Alex, seeing how I uplifted him, it struck a chord with me. As much as I didn’t like to show it, but he made affects on me that were indescribable. He made me feel just a little more contempt, without him I would probably not be able to cope for this long. We eventually locked eyes with each other, Alex’s gaze being longer than I expected. If it wasn’t for the blood, my face would have exposed the blush forming on my cheeks.
“Have you ever fell in love, (Y/N)?” Alex then asked me, which set me aback. The question was out the blew and I think Alex realised that as he looked away shyly, his gaze fixated on the flames of the fire to avoid my gaze. I still stared at him, almost in amazment, trying to conjuct a reasonable answer.
“I don’t know.” I answered. “I have loved people, yes, but- I don’t think I have been in love. You’re suppose to know when things like that happen, right?”
Alex didn’t answer me, he kept staring at the fire. I found myself admiring his side profile, watching how he slowly bit his lip; concealed in thought. I noticed how the glow of the flames contrasted with the darkness of his eyes, how the light outlined his complexion. When I realized I was staring for too long, I looked away, instead my eyes looked out the warehouse window, my eyes tracing the stars in the night sky.
“I feel like I have known you forever.” Alex admitted all at once. “It’s only been two months, but I have gotten close to you more than anyone I have in my whole life. It might sound crazy but- I believe we were suppose to come together that day.”
My gaze turned back to Alex when I felt his eyes lay upon me. His stare was soft, something I only seen in passing times. I was able to admire him for the first time since we met. In this moment, in the dead of night, away from danger and suspicion; I could look at him with full sentiment. I didn’t need to admire him when he was less suspecting it, afraid of receiving decline or making things awkward. In this moment I realized, I may have developed feelings more than companionship towards him. That excited me. But also terrified me.
“I feel that way with you, Alex.” I admitted, “But . . .”
I decided to choose my words carefully. This conversation was heading in a direction that made me nervous. The world is falling apart around us, and I couldn’t help but question our motives. We should be focusing on survival, not developing a relationship that could be destroyed at any second. Once we step out this warehouse, our chances of losing our lives become high. I wasn’t prepared to damage my mental state, it was already bad enough. I realized my long pause was making Alex shift nervously, so I looked at him in hopes my words would slip from my mouth.
I caved in, muttering lowly, “We should get some rest.” I got up on my feet and was ready to grab my sleeping bag and make up a place to rest, until I heard Alex get his his feet and say words that made my heart sink.
“Am I not enough?”
When I turned to look at him, the hurt was glistening in his eyes. He gulped dryly and he fumbled with his fingers. My eyes shifted from side to side as I was stuck with my words. I kept stammering, and I rubbed my face in stress, ready to plead my case. Until Alex jumped in.
“Don’t think I’m only saying these things to you because there is no one else, (Y/N). I have been thinking about this for a while, everytime I am left with my thoughts. I am certain I will still have the same feelings if we met when things didn’t go to shit. I don’t just think this because we have been the only people for each other. I really really like you, (Y/N). And because of the way the world is, I never want to lose you. I never want you to feel alone ever again. I not only want to protect you because we’re a team, I want to protect you because the thought of losing you pains me so much.”
For a split second I thought Alex was about to burst into tears. That was when I did something I thought I would never do again, which was pull him into my embrace. I hugged Alex so tight that I heard him gasp, freeze, until he eventually wrapped his arms around me and held me just as tight. My face buried into the crook of his neck, feeling the warmth of his body, his soft hands caressing my back and brushing his thumb down my spine in a soothing manner.
“You are enough, Alex.” I said, my words muffled by his body. I reached my lips to his ear so he could hear my words clearly. “I just didn’t want you to feel like you had to like me, or be forced to like me just because we were brought together. I was afraid you thought you were stuck with me.”
I anticipated the day that once we meet other life, Alex would slowly fade away and forget who I was. Once he meets other people, we would go our seperate ways. I never knew why the hypothetical idea pained me so much, until now. As Alex pulled away from my embrace, looking me in the eyes in a loving manner that was foreign to me, his hands on my shoulders, I realized why that idea made my heart feel heavy. I never want him to leave me, I want him to always be by my side. Alex’s gaze was enough proof that he wanted the same.
Stimulated by his touch, I was taken aback when I felt his hand cup my cheek. The warmth of his breath breezing against my cheek, I inhaled as if oxygene was nonexistent. I never realized the proximity between us was slowly closing in and when I did my eyes fluttered shut. Alex hesitated for a split second before pressing his soft lips against my own. My neck bent slightly backwards and I shifted my head to the side to deepen into our kiss, my blood-stained hands grabbing the edges of his open jacket and holding him dearly close. The heat of the kiss intermingled with the heat from the fire, my cheeks and ears grew hot. Alex’s hands were surprisingly warm as he reached his hands under my shirt, pressing his fingers and palms on the middle of my back before running his touch down my spine. My breath became shaky and I felt my legs grow heavy under me, my hands cupped the back of his neck to keep myself uplifted, and luckily Alex’s arms held my weight and pressed my body against his. It felt like hours had went by between our lips moving in sync, our tongues grazing our bottom lip’s, our hands moving and resting on different parts of our bodies. His touch felt contagious, his kisses ranging between soft and passionate. I didn’t want to stop, I never wanted to let go. Between kisses I would mutter you are enough, you are enough which made Alex smile against my lips.
That night, everything we had to worry about became last priority. The focus all throughout was each other, making up for the days where affection couldn’t be shown. In the dead of night, there wasn’t a roamer in sight. Instead of hearing narls and groans or screams of pain, there was only the faint sounds of nature. The full moon glistened, as if to be a prediction for the emotions spilling between us. I promised myself from this moment on, as I admired Alex, I would protect him no matter what. I will make sure he always feels safe as long as he is beside me. He will always be enough, if not more.
TAGLIST: @momo-has-a-gun @diggorysmalfoy @quack42069 (join my taglist)
Heya! just for fun, whats the wildest/funniest headcanon that you have for dabi or any of your fave bhna characters? 😁
Heyy ❤️ I'm not rly good at this stuff so I decided to write some theories and hcs that I actually liked so here you go-
- Monoma and Toga are related in some way. They're not that similar so I assume that they're further relatives. However, this doesn't make Monoma a traitor. I also think that Toga should be adopted by Vlad King so he could help her with her Quirk and her obsession with blood.
- Hawks has bird traits and he shows them on accident. There are certain traits he's embarrassed of but there's also stuff that makes him feel better about himself. He's never been in a relationship bc of HPSC but he's a helpless romantic.
- Dabi drives a motorcycle. Everyone assumes that he listens to trash metal when rly he only listens to sad rock bc he's a sad man. He cries when ppl are soft with him, he rarely experiences kindness. He avoids lov bc he's afraid of getting attached; they're all meant to die at some point so he doesn't want to suffer more than what he already does.
- Kaminari is not book smart but damn if he isn't smart in other ways. He knows the labour standards act, he pulls brainy jokes, he reads books, he expresses himself nicely, he draws pretty and plays an instrument. And he's a people pleaser above everything else.
- Since Dark Shadow is technically it’s own being, we can assume that Monoma would go through various scenarios when copying Tokoyami's Quirk; 1) Dark Shadow is attracted to humble souls and therefore shall obey em. If he comes across Monoma he'd refuse him. 2) Dark Shadow accepts him but Monoma would turn emo. 3) Monoma manages to copy Dark Shadow but then they fight each other. 4) Monoma gives him apples and Dark Shadow accepts him. 5) Monoma manages to copy Dark Shadow but Dark Shadow doesn't know how to respond to him because he doesn't trust him. He knows Tokoyami since he was a kid. 6) Dark Shadow doesn't like Monoma because he can't afford him all the darkness he's so found of. 7) Monoma manages to copy Dark Shadow but then Dark Shadow goes wild and drags Monoma everywhere because he doesn't know how to control him. 8) Dark Shadow obeys Monoma but shows clear signs of discomfort. 9) Monoma can't copy Dark Shadow. 10) Dark Shadow defies Monoma's commands and gradually takes over his body like with Tokoyami in ch79. 11) Monoma copies Dark Shadow and Dark Shadow obeys him. 12) Dark Shadow controls Monoma and not the other way around. 13) Monoma falls into a shock because he copied something alive. 14) Dark Shadow consumes negative emotions from Monoma and becomes larger and stronger. 15) Can Dark Shadow drain emotions? Monoma could easily end up in a hospital or a mental institution.
- Monoma and Aoyama are good friends ever since Monoma complimented him in the light novels (BNHA Light Novel vol3, ch3).
- Bakugou has hearing problems but he's not deaf. He never let anyone enter his dorm room bc he has just as much AM merch as Deku and it's embarrassing.
- Ms. Joke is not as happy irl. She's just wearing a facade to make others happy even when she's not. + There's no way Aizawa isn't aware of it bc they share some history and we never got the exact details from Horikoshi.
- Geten would be so much cooler if he was a girl and the fandom would simp for him just like they did for Lady Nagant but no one is ready for that debate.
- Dad for one is true. He wants to possess Shigaraki and for Yoichi to possess Deku so he and his bro could continue their war with healthy and strong bodies.
- Hagakure loves body paint, especially the glowing one. Since outfits stand out on her the most, she was thinking ab pursuing her career in modeling.
- Natsuo's mouse girlfriend is secretly a badass. Look, I just want to see more girl characters in this series.
- Shigaraki would be the best boyfriend bc he never loved anything, so loving someone for the first time would make you a special person. He's v insecure ab his looks and doubts himself in whether he actually deserves you. He's the type of guy to turn from cold blooded to the most loving person. But if you ever cheat on him he won't hesitate to disintegrate you.
- Villain Deku and Toga would have Joker and Harley Quinn vibes but healthy.
- Dabi eats at Cracker Barrel. He's a common guest there and he always takes Giran's money so they wouldn't throw him out. The waitress can't believe how much bacon this mysterious man can eat.
- Hawks loves when you massage him at the base of his wings. He loves you so much for it.
- Miruko is a gamer and her and Shigaraki play together without having the slightest idea that it's actually them. One day they decided to meet each other bc they became good friends and when they stood there in Kiyashi Ward Shopping Mall it was rly awkward.
- Tokoyami and Aoyama get along rly well and Aoyama paints their nails in their dorm rooms.
- Dabi is jealous bc Re-Destro supports Geten all the time and it's the same mentality except Endeavor never supported Dabi. Geten likes to tease him ab it.
- Todoroki is no.1 Yaoyorozu simp. He's not aware that it became obvious.
- Aizawa realized his dream despite Midnight not being alive anymore. He got a cat tower for his hero agency that he always wished for (Vigilantes ch65). Sushi is alive but still very old. Midnight boys (Vigilantes ch6.5) are still visiting her grave despite having different lives now.
- Fuyumi hasn't dated anyone bc Endeavor would kill them. He has the audacity to play a strict parent (BNHA Light Novel vol2, ch4) when he never looked towards Fuyumi's and Natsuo's general direction for years. He actually doesn't have anything against Hawks but if he ever called him "dad" it would give him shivers.
- We all know that Shigaraki lives from Mountain Dew, Doritos and pure spite. However, he treats Toga nicely bc he wishes he had similar relationship with Hana.
- When it's rly hot outside Hawks fluffs up his wings so he could let go of some heat. Everyone wants to pet his fluffy wings and the heat returns. Poor guy.
- Dabi called Compress "dad" at some point and he's regretting it bc Compress is now unironically calling him "son".
- Shigaraki and Spinner used to play games on the same TV which afo used to contact them and whenever he wanted to talk, the screen turned black and the guys would complain.
- Compress misses the time when Kurogiri used to be around.
- Giran is a cool uncle that has a sweet niece and he loves her v much but bc he's a bad guy working with the bad guys, he's not visiting anymore but sends her nice gifts.
- Yaoyorozu family owns a weapon company bc this is the only explanation why she knows how to create a canon.
- Jirou and her dad play guitars and sing in their music studio whenever Jirou feels off. Her dad is a dork and he always makes her smile. Jirou has the best dad.
- Kaminari's mom is a hero (Heroes Rising movie).
Character Design Thoughts for Shen Yuan & Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky in ‘The Untold Tale’
(This is a Follow Up to This Post)
Hello, @averydrearydiana! Loved reading through your tags! I’m excited that you’re excited! Since I’m also seeing comments on AO3 speculating about how our transmigrators are going to appear as in The Untold Tale, I might as well give my current thoughts and have this archived on tumblr for future reference.
A fun fact about TUT is that a lot of the imagery in the story is inspired by Chinese PVs and popular C-dramas and literature. Since TUT is conceived as a lovestory to SVSSS, one element that I’d wanted to incorporate is playful attempts at satirical genre deconstruction. With that comes with me playfully poking fun at some clichés or things I’ve noticed in Chinese works.
Shen Yuan’s Celestial Design
Before I talk about his mortal appearance, I have to give a lil context about his celestial design in the story. We already know what he looks like as the celestial fortuneteller in TUT’s cover art that I’ve already posted on tumblr. As everyone knows, I was heavily inspired by this Chinese PV:
(TUT ch1 - Excerpt)
Among the things I’ve noticed are the fictional characters with white hair. We have a whole subculture of fans liking male character designs with white hair in anime and animation. Taking that a step further, they’ve even shown up in C-dramas, i.e. Teng She from Love and Redemption (technically more blond than platinum white, but shhhhh, just let me have this), Dong Hua Dijun from Eternal Love of Dream aka Three Lives Three Worlds, Ten Miles of Peach Blossoms (rest assured, I’m aware of the source material’s controversy, but let’s not get into that here), etc. One of the tags for TUT is Opposites Attract. Luo Binghe’s color coordination is aligned with black and red mostly. Now, visually speaking, what’s the opposite of that?
The yin yang symbol.
Fun fact, besides black vs white, green (SY) is the complementary color of red (LBG) on the color wheel. Now taking everything I’ve said, to take it even one step further, my thought process at the time was, “why not go the extra mile then and just have SY be albino? Within context of the Heavenly Realm, that character design makes sense.” TUT is me subtly riffing off what I can (for the good ol’ meta humor), but making the content come across as a legitimate story experience. As Protagonist A and Protagonist B, LBG and SY have to look visually striking together. With all that said, let’s talk about....
(In reference to the original tumblr post)
Shen Yuan (Mortal)
I’ll keep some elements of his albinism from his celestial form (light sensitivity and pale skin mostly), but SY’s mortal form is essentially SY pre-transmigration but within context of the xianxia genre.
For his appearance, let’s just keep this Author’s Note^ and TUT’s summary in the back of our brains. This is the fanvid I was originally inspired by for SY’s mortal appearance:
(TUT Summary - Excerpt)
For what he wears, I’m currently feeling very heavily inspired by this PV:
His mortal appearance wouldn’t be considered as “strange” or “otherworldly” compared to the “ethereal fairy-like beauty” SY retains in the Heavenly Realm, but as a side-effect of the 【PROTAGONIST’S HALO】 and his +20 CHARISMA stat, he would still be considered attractive to people even when he takes on a mortal appearance. (Mainly, I like the idea of Bing gē taking large shots of vinegar seeing SY turning heads no matter which appearance SY takes on, and Luo Binghe glaring at these “insects” for even “daring to lay their unworthy eyes on his fated person.” The thought of it just makes me laugh.)
What I mean by how SY’s mortal form being very much based on how SY appeared pre-transmigration but in the xianxia genre context, I mean he’ll have his dark hair (but longer), a “scholarly air” (as a nod to his novelist background), dark eyes, and even his glasses technically (the divine monocle mentioned in ch3, which is also a subtle nod to Sha Po Lang and a riff on men wearing monocles in other Chinese works andit’salsoforeshadowingbutshhhh).
(TUT ch3 - Excerpt)
Shen Yuan originally was an author in his forties pre-transmigration, so I like the idea him having a mature air about him in the Cultivation World as well. So for both our Protagonist B’s celestial and mortal appearances, the idea is that you can look at him and immediately recognize him as a protagonist of the danmei setting. My only two prerequisites are that his appearance screams “hello, I’m Protagonist B” and that he appears in “scholarly” attire.
Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky (Mortal)
Keeping in mind the original tumblr post where I wrote my thoughts on who I’m transmigrating him as, currently I’m thinking it’s a combination of these two PVs for his mortal form:
As a nod to him being a successful novelist, I wanted him to also appear scholarly. A scholarly crown prince, if you will. For his attire, imagine all the C-drama clothing you’ve seen actors wear in period dramas, and you already have a good idea already of the direction I’m heading down.
As the prince of the cannon fodder emperor, I very much like the idea of Airplane perhaps having a baby face and brown hair (as a small nod to fanon!SQH from SVSSS) but with a great body (a huge source of inspiration are clothing worn by Prince Yu and Prince Jing of the three princes from the C-drama Nirvana in Fire). Since Airplane will also be able to select his Character Creation stats like Shen Yuan had, one thing I’m fairly certain is that he will max out his CONSTITUTION—because “game logic” and not wanting to die. (For those who don’t know, the CON stat in tabletop RPs essentially indicates a person’s overall health, wellbeing, and vigor checks...so him maxing it out is equivalent to him being as invulnerable as a cockroach. A high CON means overall healthiness, which means your character probably is full of energy and vitality, can heal rapidly, and will rarely get sick—if ever. Low CON usually means a higher susceptibility to sickness and disease, wounds that fester and linger, and a general fatigue would haunt you, etc.) Like how SY zeroed in on his CHA, Airplane would have prioritized +20 CON (+5 modifier), especially knowing the fate that’d await him as a prince and the vicious environment that is expected for palace intrigue plots (the harem is a big factor, with concubines and consorts and even the empress sabotaging each other—just to win the favor of one man). Against poison or whatnot which is a cliché in palace intrigue plots, rather than relying on luck, you typically stand a better chance of passing the CON check if you have a high modifier aiding your checks. He’s basically become impervious to illnesses, most poisons (probably being able to spring back quickly), and is considered the healthiest prince in all the mortal imperial line. <- This could be taken both seriously and humorously simultaneously.
Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky (Deity/ Celestial)
For Xiàng Tiān Dà Fēijī’s “actual divine body” that is currently asleep and won’t be awakened until Airplane completes his mortal trial to “regain his cultivation powers,” the face should obviously be similar but, as Xiàng Tiān Dà Fēijī, he would appear regal and dignified as a god of this world:
Imagine something along the lines of mortal Airplane as the man on the right, celestial Shen Yuan in the center, and deity/ celestial Airplane as the man on the left. I envision a respectable appearance that would knock the air out of Mobei jūn and make him recognize Airplane despite any visual dissimilarities, and in a way we have the Four Beauties of China: Luo Binghe, Shen Yuan, Mobei jūn, and Xiàng Tiān Dà Fēijī.
I will say I currently have an idea of making Airplane have “golden” eyes in both his celestial and mortal forms. (Spoiler alert: in my notes, I’d written down to give Airplane yellow eyes as an Easter egg to Yanxi Palace, I believe, where there was an episode where someone of the imperial harem schemed against the empress and almost had the newborn baby killed because that and the yellow skin was an inauspicious omen. We later find out through a timely intervention that the true reason was due to jaundice—because of the diet/ pregnancy cravings she ate for a period of time which resulted in her son’s symptoms. With Airplane’s high CON and another trope I’m bringing in which’ll have to do with the Medicine King’s Valley/ Valley of the Medicine King, his yellow eyes are the only side effect that lingered from that traumatic event which would have killed him had they gotten away with their scheme. A lot of palace dramas have to do with the vicious harem plots, so this would potentially be one such example.) The reason being that this is the identifying marker for MBJ to clue in that they’re the same man he will have loved. And I think that has romantic potential.
Now addressing the other tags, yes, essentially speaking, Mobei jūn might just very well experience his very own Big Damn Reunion trope that Bing mèi had suffered from SVSSS. Poor MBJ. He’s in a tumultuous ride of his own with him considering Airplane as his own fated person, hahaha. But for the Moshang dynamic, I want him—a demon—to find himself taken with Airplane in his mortal guise—and subsequently his true celestial appearance once he finds out. I very much also want SY to jokingly snark to his fellow transmigrator-and-writing-colleague about him getting in a relationship with his own “creation” (MBJ). And Airplane would jokingly snark back about SY “ruining his ‘first son’ as well” (LBG). If you can read between the lines of that, then kudos. I’m glad to hear you’re looking forward to the palace intrigue.
I’m especially very happy to hear you’re looking forward to the descriptions! I personally love worldbuilding in the stories I consume I’m an interior designer and realtor irl, so I’m glad my love of house details and landscape, etc shows in TUT. For the pseudohistorical vibe, in the Mortal Realm, I will be referencing the Forbidden City of our Chinese history and a couple popular period C-dramas. Take the settings of period C-dramas like Ruyi’s Royal Love in the Palace, Yanxi Palace, and Nirvana in Fire as examples for what will be awaiting us when we finally meet Airplane in his mortal body. In the Heavenly Realm, the descriptions will be heavily referencing shows that contain aesthetics such as those of Ashes of Love, Love and Redemption, and Eternal Dream.
Take this with a grain of salt just in case I change my mind later on, but in the chapter when we meet Airplane for the first time, I probably won’t say which character he is in the first scene. I’ll give plenty of hints in the first scene so that you all can make your guesses before the big reveal, but I’m fairly confident you all or most of you will be able to pinpoint who he is among the cannon fodders. We’ll meet the emperor, who is discussing with his sons about the matter regarding the approaching calamity that is Luo Binghe. Then when we transition into the second scene, we’ll know exactly which “royal prince OC” it is that our beloved Airplane has transmigrated into, hahaha.
(*Keep in mind, for everything written above, some details are subject to change. Nothing is official until it appears in the story, or I’ve actually drawn my ideas out and posted online to both my tumblr and twitter. These are just my current thoughts.)
A goal of mine for TUT is to make the story widely accessible, meaning it doesn’t matter if the reader is new to the SVSSS fandom or aren’t familiar with the Easter egg references or meta jokes or subtext or even the Chinese culture, or even if English is not their first language. Having knowledge beforehand might help someone notice more hidden details in TUT, yes, but it is a humble wish of this writer for her esteemed readers to be able to dive into the story and get the enjoyable feeling like they’re reading a genuine danmei novel. It really makes me smile whenever I hear feedback that I am able to emulate that experience.
Very exciting developments indeed are in store!
Twice reaction to you having anorexia
Reaction Tuesday: You Have Anorexia - Twice
my second reaction
WARNING: mentions and talk about E.D. behavior patterns, slight angst, fluff, suggestive in chaeyoung's part, mentions of physical contact, mentions of irl scenarios, slight triggers, idolxgn reader, all fiction as everyone's diet situation is different (i myself have had a period of anorexia and know it can be hard to leave that mindset; just know you can get better with the proper treatment and support system ☺️)
🌿 ୨ ✎ ‧₊ — — — — — — — — — — — — — ₊˚ ˊ˗
she was told by a photographer that she was 'too fat' when she was just chubby. so being with you and seeing you pick at even your snacks made her think that something or someone is causing you to diet in an unhealthy way. she would help you realize how special you are as a person through the little things such as giving random hugs and kisses. she would also give you some proper diet pointers she used for herself.
"i love you and that matters more than your weight or body image"
when she finds out about your anorexia, she panics. not because she's scared of you or your health, but because she didn't see it sooner. she would try hard to let you know your body is perfect the way it is. anything else that may be making you feel down will soon be replaced with memories of nayeon making you laugh. no way was nayeon's partner was going to suffer alone.
"i feel bad not noticing earlier so let me help now"
she currently got body-shaming comments all the time (poor baby). you seeing them made you check yourself once, twice, and soon every day you do weight and body checks. soon enough you would eat less than your girlfriend, and she noticed. to get you back to normal eating, she'd give you random compliments like you gave her when she felt bad about her own weight gain.
"if i can't feel bad about i look, you can't either okay?"
this topic heavily hits for her because she went on a e.d. inducing diet as a trainee out of fear of being dropped. since you're not an idol, she wasn't going to let you feel the same way she felt. you guys went on frequent lunch and dinner dates, as well as gym trips together so that you can lose weight the healthy way. not to mention lots of dancing.
"if it's a body shape you want, through healthy measures you can achieve that"
she's been known as a cute chubby girl in her earlier days, but she noticed how the cameras made her look bigger than she was, so she dieted until she looked to her liking. you however dieted because you saw how even in her chubby days looked smaller than you. when she saw how you were having some stomach problems and suspected e.d., she would cutely scold you while kissing your cheeks.
"you are so attractive, so no bad diets to make you look any other way"
when she went on hiatus because of anxiety, you took it hard on yourself. as you helped her recover, you got worse and she saw. she soon would get out of bed to force you into it and make you soup. at first you refused, opting to take care of her. instead she decided to disregard herself so that her partner could get the help they needed more than herself.
"you can't take care of me if you can't even take care of yourself"
you were actually smaller than your girlfriend, but your mind said something different. and she realized super quickly once you declined having a dessert date. and as quickly as she noticed you were having an active body dysmorphia problem, she researched how to help you feel better.
"you know you look much better than me, right?"
you guys had frequent dates that would end up with you two being tangled in the sheets. but recently she noticed how you barely liked to hug. so when she crept up on you and felt your breath come out your lungs in a dangerous manner, she gasped and let you go. she would spend the next month making you feel loved mentally and romantically.
"you're the most sexiest when i can hug you and not a warped version of you"
she never had a weight problem mainly because of her height. so it took a long time before she saw your anorexia taking a toll on you. she would lend you her food, often having extra for herself. but if your stomach was way too small or your headspace was too not into recovery, she'd tell you how lucky she is to have you.
"you never looked like you needed to change your body"
🌱 :: ︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶₊˚ ɞ
how did you like this reaction? i tried my best in giving reactions while being sensitive to a topic i can relate to. hopefully i did justice. and i hope that all who have any eating disorder get the support you need :)
if you want me to do a specific one with a specific group, let me know!
How The Obey Me Brothers Would Do in a “The Forest” AU
Fandom: Obey me
Warnings: Swearing, idiocy, mild gore
The Forest was just released for the new Oculus headset, and Levi could NOT pass up this opportunity. However, it’s just his luck he got his hands on a cursed copy of the game, and ended up sucking the House of Lamentation into the game! Here’s how our favorite boys faired in the universe of “The Forest”
Bitches about it heavily
Is irritated that he has to find and wrangle a digital son now as well as his siblings.
Would definitely help everyone else build a little shelter before nightfall, but would be grumbling about how much work he has to do at home and how far behind this would put him.
Doesn’t let MC lift a finger and is 100% a mother hen the whole time.
Seems inconvenienced by the whole cannibal thing, until he realizes magic doesn’t exist here and he has to use his melee fighting skills to kill them. Skills that are a little rusty...
Teams up with Beel to be the camp dads and take care of everyone
Super paranoid about the stability of the walls and the house at the beginning
Dies from eating a poisonous berry. He didn’t know he could be affected by poison in this game.
Over all, does his best to keep everyone alive, and feels really bad when someone dies.
No longer feels bad when he learns that the worst thing that happens is you lose all your stuff and you respawn.
A solid 7/10 job. Probably dies a few times due to someone else being an idiot, but is a pretty good survivalist when push comes to shove.
Is also pissed
He was in the middle of counting the grimm from his latest modeling gig when he was sucked into the game.
Bitches and moans with/at Lucifer, but tries to build and maintain a shelter.
I don’t think crows exist in the game, but seagulls do and they all land on his fingers and he makes friends with them.
Is very upset when one of his brothers kills a bird for food or to simply carry around its head as a trophy.
Sees cannibals and tries to trade with them with the grimm he has in his pockets.
Dies on sight.
Now when he sees or hears cannibals he screams and cowers behind MC
When they go away or the screaming stops, he stands up straight and dusts off his jacket “Psh, I wasn’t afraid! I was trying to comfort you from behind! YOU were the one afraid”
After a while in the game, he gets his shit together and honestly kinda kills it.
This is the avatar of greed, you know he is going to gather and horde so many valuable resources and then guard them with his life.
“Mammon I’m hurt please stop hissing at me and let me have the medicine bottle”
*hiss* “You can have ONE pill and ONE pill only”
Over all, the definition of “They had us in the first half ngl”
8/10 for managing the group’s food and resource stores so well and only dying a fuck ton of times.
Feels quite guilty, but is also secretly pumped to immerse himself in the game.
Was extremely skilled at this game IRL and tries to explain how it works to everyone else, but they’re all so pissed and no one’s listening.
“That’s fine, who would want to listen to a yucky otaku like me anyway!”
Magic doesn’t exist here, but that doesn’t stop Levi from yeeting himself into the ocean and turning into a giant sea monster while his brothers complete the game.
They don’t want his help? They don’t want to know that the cannibals can’t swim and that they’ll be safer if they build a boat and live in a boathouse on the water? Fine. Then Perish <3
That goes for Timmy too, fuck that kid.
Doesn’t want MC to suffer tho, so he’ll kill a few sharks and throw them up over the wall with his tail. (I’m assuming that if the game is released for Oculus Rift that they will get their shit together and also make sharks edible)
Is having a grand time taking over the ocean.
Will sometimes go to shore to visit MC. Everyone is confused as to where he has been and how he is thriving. He just smiles and jumps back in the water.
10/10 strats. Never once dies. Tells everyone what they were doing wrong and how they could have had it easier when they beat the game and are back IRL out of spite.
Is throwing things in their spots while building the shelter, but is still helping
Spawns in with the book he was reading in his hand.
That book is eventually stolen from his grasp in the night and used as kindling for the fire.
Lucifer explains that if he didn’t steal his book they all would have died.
Satan does not give a fuck
“Use the kid’s stupid fucking drawings you dipshit!”
“I can’t they’re story items!”
Goes on a rampage and kills so many deer, effectively feeding the group for a week.
Sees the cannibals for the first time and thinks “same”
Pretty good fighter and pretty resourceful when it comes to making armor and weapons.
Outfits MC with the all of his prototypes and tells them to go run at a tree
“How do you feel, MC?”
“Like I ran at a tree with a deer skin on my chest”
Very upset at the whole no magic thing, but will work with it.
Over all, 7/10 job. Dies a couple times from cannibals and the other monsters, but makes it to the end.
Oh dear this sweet summer child.
“Why are we looking for this child when he’s so ugly?”
Is distraught and so very upset this is happening to him. Cries variations of “woe is me” for the first five hours of game play
Does not help build a shelter
Does not help gather food and resources
Does not help period. Only whines.
Sees cannibals sprinting and jumping towards the shelter and pushes Lucifer in front of him
“Take him! I’m too pretty to die!”
What follows after the first three days is a slow decent into madness.
Ends up butt ass naked for the majority of the game because the clothes he spawned in with were ripped to shreds and “No animal skin clothing in this world is good enough to adorn my perfect body”
Starts speaking to the animals and becomes friends with all of them like a Disney Princess.
The animals come to his aid when he lets out a specific shriek that calls them to his side.
Spends his time weaving flower crowns for MC, his brothers, and his animal friends.
Everyone knows he’s snapped when Beel brings back the dead body of a cannibal and Asmo dips his dirty little finger into an open wound and wipes the blood on his lips.
“I just love this shade! Don’t you?”
5/10 job. Dies multiple times from trying to befriend hostile animals, but also has an army of woodland creatures at his disposal by the end of the game.
Bro you know this mans is about to make this game his bitch
Spawns in with a cheeseburger.
Eats the cheeseburger.
“I have a son?”
“I HAVE A SON :D”
“Where is my son?”
Honestly the thought of Beel in this game is so sexy like I’m simping so hard rn
Grab your water skins and buckle up bc it’s about to get thirsty up in here y’all
A shirt? Beel doesn’t know what those are anymore
He crafts one of those shoulder harnesses out of hide and bone and sticks a bone shiv thing on the forearm
Don’t mess with this demon when his dinner and his family is on the line.
Is not afraid of anything except the death of his loved ones.
Cannibals? Nah, dinner.
Other monsters? Nah, dinner.
Full shirtless lumberjack mode with Lucifer, and later Mammon, when cutting down trees in the forest. MC is drooling.
Definitely makes a game out of how many trees they can all chop down before giving up.
Plays knuckle bones with Belphie and MC using real knuckle bones.
Doesn’t want to share his food with the others but will if they didn’t get anything to eat that day.
Chef Beel. That’s it that’s the post.
10/10 job. Only dies once throwing his body over Belphie’s sleeping one to save him.
Get’s annoyed when he finds out Belphie was fake sleeping
Very sexy. Would watch.
Nah dude no thanks
Alexa play “Wake Me Up When September Ends”
Alexa play “Billie Jean”
“And the kid is not my son”
Get’s so fucking pissed when he finds out he can’t sleep without everyone else deciding to sleep too so he just lays down with his eyes closed and hopes for the best.
Doesn’t help with anything unless someone asks him to
Even then he’ll roll his eyes like brat and slowly do it
An actual sloth
No like he clings to MC and Beel like a sleepy sloth 100% of the time
He can’t find any cows and is sad so he settles for the local deer instead.
Fake sleeps through most of the whole thing, paying monster and cannibals alike absolutely no mind. Beel will take care of it.
Freaks the fuck out when Beel dies on top of him and goes into a rage and kills everything in sight.
Very sweet reunion when he realizes that they just respawn.
No longer pays death any mind and continues fake sleeping.
0/10. Virtually useless.
I'm A Little Annoyed (TW For Childhood Sexual Abuse)...
I went to the anti kaeluc tag because I was just looking for some wholesome brotherly posts and was disappointed (and maybe a little angry) that over half the posts were still people defending kaeluc and ranting about antis.
Why do you guys always b**** about antis when you guys make up most of the anti kaeluc tag?
I will personally say that I have suffered sexual abuse by the hands of both my blood family and one person who I considered a sibling.
You have no idea how much it bothers people who have experienced it or are possibly still experiencing it to see ships like this in the fandoms of their favorite games/movies/books.
What about the sick b******s who use ships like this to justify what they do in real life, show these ships to their young impressionable victims to make them think that what they're about to do to them is okay because so many people online say it's okay?
That's what one of my assaulters did to me.
I'm also a prime example that what you read or see around you can affect how you think and what you do. Growing up with all that crap going on around me actually made me become hypersexual and have a very unhealthy relationship with sex to the point of deciding that I'm never getting into a relationship and I'm never sleeping with anyone.
Anime, manga, books, and video games are supposed to be my escape from the real world. Why is it okay to say it's just fiction in the face of someone who experienced it in real life? Why should they be okay with you romanticizing their trauma and making it easier for future IRL victims to be a thing?
You can try to say that the person shouldn't do that and rag on them as much as possible to try and redeem yourself, but you're the one making it easier for them by shipping something unhealthy. It might not necessarily be your fault - since the person decided to do those things on their own - but you can't deny that you're making it a hell of a lot easier for them with the kind of content you put out.
Diluc and Kaeya grew up together and saw each other as brothers and likely still do, they're just too emotionally constipated to apologize to each other even though the game does point out that they still care about each other.
If someone goes from seeing someone as a sibling to wanting to sleep with them, something's wrong (especially if they still see them as a sibling like some of you kaeluc shippers seem to love writing).
The game has only put platonic relationships on the front so far (with the only romantic relationships being between NPC's) and seems to be focusing on a sibling dynamic.
With someone who has a complicated background and feelings around romantic/sexual relationships in the first place, it seems like the perfect game for me.
But now I have a complicated relationship with the fandom.
OK this is gonna be a bit of a weird question but fuck it. I look like two face IRL how much weirder can it get?: If you were being sent to the pokemon world via Pokemon mystery dungeon style, with access to EVERY starter pokemon from EVERY mystery dungeon game and pokemon game that is out at the moment, who would you choose, why, and how would you react to being changed into said pokemon? Here’s my choice.
Not gonna sugar coat it. I’m stuck between two choices: Axew because personally I consider Axew and it’s entire evolutionary line to be my spirit pokemon. I’m not exactly the best looking as well I don’t know how to control myself at times rather it be volume or strength, or even my word choice, and when you look at Axew I feel like you get that sort of vibe from him. He’s not in control and certainly not the best looker but like with me Axew best shines through it’s personality. Sure it’s pure dragon but your talking to a guy who doesn’t really care about type advantage. I just like pokemon for who they are. Now my second choice, Eevee, is what I feel like I’d actually end up being. Unlike Axew which only has one choice with it’s evolution (Haxorus best boi fight me), Eevee has like eight choices of evolution, or in other words eight choices of who they really are. Which with a person like me who is not only blind, not only suffers from seizures, not only has ADHD, but might (Big might here as not even I’M 100% sure) have multiple personality disorder I don’t really see a better choice, as well there’s also the fact that I personally feel like Eevee would be the default option because of it’s many evolution choices, it would let you choose your path. Also helps that Eevee is my second favorite pokemon so there’s that. To finish off here would be my reaction changing into ether of them: Axew: (Groans in pain) “What...happened....dear Arceus my throat....Good water’s close by. Not my first choice but better then nothin-” (Stops and stares at the water’s reflection a bit in silence....then screams no tomorrow.) “I-I-I’M A AXEW!?!” (Grabs the tusks, checks the tail, looks at my stubby arms.) “H-How-When did this-.....I-I’m a pokemon.....dear Arceus I’m a pokemon......W-Well look on the upside. Your a Axew which means you SHOULD have some decent moves starting off, plus your a dragon type....a pure dragon type....with three weaknesses.....” (Sighs) “OK OK...it’s not that bad...at least you look a whole lot better then you did as a human...Right...focus up me! Right now we have to find two things: A town or...village maybe? and food...as well as maybe someone to take me to a town or village...right....Now take it slow....I might stand on two legs still but....it’s different.”
Eevee: (Wakes up with a massive head ache.) “Ow.....please tell me it’s not a seizure....” (Moves neck nice and smooth.) “Good. I probably just need water....” (struggles to stand.) “Why...is it...so hard....to get up?” (Eventually get’s up) “There. Now take it slow....huh...am I shorter or is it me?” (Takes a very slow walk over to ther nearest water source, then drinks.) “Thank Arceus for water...huh that’s odd...my reflection in the water it looks like.....” (slowly puts two and two together, then freaks the hell out.) “I’M A EEVEE!?! I-I mean I look cute as heck yeah but....” (Checks out massive ears, looks at paw pads/”Toe beans”, looks at the big fluffy tail, pats chest floof) “Dear Arceus I’ve been turned into a pokemon who’s best moves can’t even hit ghost........Alright Jay...calm down...calm....down....think about this for a moment. Your a Eevee, a normal type. Which is a double edged sword of sorts. You can’t take super effective damage from anything but fighting as well as you can’t hit ghost, but that also means almost nothing can take super effective damage from you. You are also...VERY small and now on all fours....and are pure normal......Ok....Step one...let’s find some place to stay...I doubt a town would say no to a adorable Eevee. Step two once you find a town or village try to find a place to live. Who knows maybe they’ll have some sort of empty house or maybe they’ll think your an orphan and you can just get stuck with someone. Step three.....figure out step three along the way, step four, and the most important step, DON’T DIE!!!! One wrong move in...possibly a whole new world? Maybe? And you could be squished like a pancake faster then you can say Eevee....Right....so....let’s do this....first though I better figure out how to walk...”
That’s my answers now here are some folks I hope to hear answers from: @eb3yr @xxtc-96xx @pokemon-ash-aus and @mewtwoandme
hope you’ll reply as I like to find out more about the people I follow. :)
Is this a bad omen?
A portent of the dynasty collapsing?
Is it my imagination, or do Wang Lin and Wang Su look more and more like each other? I keep mistaking them for one another since Wang Su grew that beard.
It’s like they are related IRL.
I am so done with Zitan and Jin-er. I mean, I’ve been done with them for an age already, but every time I discover there is more to be annoyed about. Like, there she is, claiming that she loves Awu best in the world to weasel her way into going with him, yet she betrayed her, with him and for him! And he just buys it?? Where is the logic?? Tell me, where?? He knows everything she’s done! OK, not this last thing, but everything before that has been betrayal upon betrayal and you do not do that to the people you claim to love. Also, she’s been caught in a blatant lie! Has he gone completely insane? I mean, I know he’s stupid, but there is stupid, and then there is this.
Is she planning to murder Helan Zhen on their wedding day?
Yes, you go, girl! Kill him good! I approve!!
Did I mention I love Pang Gui? Easily one of the most competent characters on the show!
Her again 😫😫
When will she die already?
LMAO, he married the wrong woman 🤣🤣
Now we have to get through the improbable Hulan family drama 🙄 Please, Xiao Qi, where are you, come and rescue us from this nonsense!
He committed suicide?
Oh, Helan Tuo murdered him. Anyway, here for Helan Zhen getting whatever comeuppance comes his way. We can murder Helan Tuo afterwards, when Xiao Qi catches up to them.
And like a true moustachioed caricature of a villain, he can’t resist the final gloating monologue in which he confesses to his misdeeds and clears the name of our hero!
Is this finally bye-bye Helan Zhen? This entire episode was so ridiculous, I can’t even bring myself to be sad.
Oh, thank goodness! Finally!
Xiao Qi, baby, life is suffering without you!!
And he is still moping and being useless 🙄🙄
It’s hilarious how his ministers just grounded him like an unruly child.
This makes me so happy!!
Babies back together and going to Ningshuo!! I can already tell that this episode is going to be one of my favourites!!
I can’t believe we are trading Helan Zhen for Helan Tuo 😫 At least Helan Zhen was hot, this one is gross and annoying.
Can someone kill him already, please?
This poor traumatised child.
Yes, baby, you show them!!
I love it when he’s on the warpath!
Pregnant, miserable and terrified.
Tell us, was it worth it?
The answer is yes. Starting with you.
I wonder if Jin-er’s child is even Zitan’s, or of the guy who raped her. I can’t really get a grip on the timeline because the subtitles are not the greatest. Has it been six months, or six months + six months (i.e. a year) since Awu was kidnapped?
Well, I feel like this is the end of that friendship 😢
Also, lol, the edict ended up right where it belongs, under their feet.
Yoongi birthday reading/energy check!!
It's sweet sweet tangerine bois birthday!!
I wanted to do a cute little energy check up to see what's up and ask some fun little questions!!
I'm excited so let's just do this shit!!
Disclaimer: this is for entertainment purposes and not to be taken as fact!!
I want to apologize for the absolute shit pictures but what's new lol
So, let's start with the platform. First thing I noticed was the blue was brighter but the platform was darker? It was like someone cranked up the contrast to 100. Ngl it looked pretty cool. Yoongis platform doesn't typically have a barrier like some of the others do so I just kinda walked in and did the whole, "happy birthday, I have questions" His energy seemed a lot more... vibrant? And playful I guess? It was really nice. Now. The actual connection was intresting because the cord was blue again and like, real thick. (I don't think my perceived thickness of the cord has and real correlation with how strong the connection is. It was just thicc) this time though, the cord was connected at the chest instead of the third eye. So i was like, ??? But my guide didn't give my any sort of helpful input (my guide likes to watch me suffer in my confusion. I'm sure of it)
Anyway, cord like that and then yoobi gave me a headbutt to connect at the third eye. Idk why he gotta be like that :( istg next time he's gonna flick my forehead or something.
I was like "cool cool cool. I want to do the reading now pls" and idk how to explain the energy other than sassy. You know? Blah blah blah I'm thinking, "I don't remember him being so cheeky but maybe I've been gone long enough for him to level up into his final sass monster form"
Anywho, this was intresting because after the little strings were connected and stuff, we plopped down on the floor. And it was like everything I was doing irl was being mimicked infront of yoons energy? So we were sitting facing eachother and I was putting the cards down between us?? Usually that doesn't happen but it was kinda fun!!
Moving right along. I first asked if there was anything he wanted to say or needed to get across and it was 11. Now, 11 has come up before and I'm still not to sure what it's in reference to? My best guess is possibly he's been seeing 11:11 or that it's 2? Idk let me know if you have any clues lol. Other stuff was just kinda banter and stuff.
So so so.
The reading. First thing I asked was how he was doing. And I shuffled his preticular way (when I ask a question I always ask for the energy to tell me how much to shuffle or when to stop. For yoongi it's always 2-2-2. So 2 bridge shuffles, 2 hand shuffles and then split the pile in 2. That's why I think 11 might be 2 to him?)
The cards we got are ace of swords rev, justice,the heirophant rev, the empress.
So based off this I was like okay. I want to pull clarity cards for the two rev cards to get a better picture so I pulled the emperor rev for ace or swords rev and strength rev and wheel of fortune rev for the heirophant rev.
Starting with the ace of swords rev, and the emperor reverse. It seems like yoongi has been re thinking his relationship to control in his life. That's he's possibly noticing any unhealthy needs to control his life and the situation around him. It could also refer to his judgment being clouded by a rigid approach.
With the justice card it makes me think that he's possibly considering a big choice in his life or that he's really doing some deconstructing of his own views. This second idea fits in well with him getting clarity on some possibly unhealthy control issues in his life.
Now. The heirophant rev, strength rev and wheel of fortune reverse. This was intresting to me bc they are all major arcana. The heirophant rev can really talk about no longer needing outside approval and making your own way in your own time bc you are your own teacher. Strength in rev I kinda read as self doubt and feeling down in this case. Like a lack of confidence in himself and his abilities. And the wheel of fortune in reverse I took to mean as his breaking cycles. All together these cards kinda paint a picture about wanting and trying to break a cycle of self doubt and self limiting beliefs and learning more about himself and why he think what he does about himself and searching through everything for truth. It's really good!! In short he's doing some nice soul searching and trusting himself to guide his own way through this self discovery!
The empress! This card seems to pop up for yoobi a lot and I think it really speaks to the abundance that surrounds him! Not just money but the abundance of creativity, love, friends ect.
Now now now. I asked him if there was anything that he wanted to tell us about himself or bts or what's happening in the near future. For that I got 2 of cups, king of wands and 3 of coins.
So the 2 of cups is partnership. Usually romantic. Could be pertaining to the may 13th thing that is ever present lol but I'll get to that later. With the 3 of coins talking about teamwork, this could definitely hint at collaborations coming up!! That's the vibe I get. No one crush my dreams. And for the king of wands it could be talking about taking the reigns on a new project and starting to get it done. Like a new opportunity. This could be a new bts project like starting a new campaign or new venture or maybe personal like the a mixtape or doing more songs for other groups ect.
I had to ask him how he was feeling about the grammys. I had to. Had to. The cards were ace of wands, 2 of wands and death reverse. When these came flying out I could help but smile. Yoongis energy was almost giddy too!
Witht he ace of wands
It's that spark of creativity and inspiration. It's that feeling when you get super excited over some new thing. I think this is the perfect example for feeling reinvigorated. The 2 of wands takes that spark from the ace and tries to funnel that excitement and newness into something directional. Using that burst of creativity to start planning for future progress!! Its so nice to see that! If they don't win (IF) you bet we're gonna get some bangers about a corrupt system. If (WHEN) they do win we'll get bangers about how thankful they are to have gotten where they are in spite of a corrupt system. I just want to hear an uncensored version of yoongi being like, "HOLY FUCKING SHIT, WE DID IT BITCHES. FUCK ALL YOU BASTARDS THAT SAID WE COULDN'T."
I can dream....
What a nice dream.
Now I asked if there was anything yoobi wanted to say to us as in advice or comfort or anything like that and I got, Clearing negativity, make time for self care, when I'm tuned into the energy of abundance I become abundant. when I'm in a state of appreciation im in vibrational alignment with my true love nature. The world rev, 2 of swords rev and that project, that person, that idea is waiting.
Awe. Take care of yourselves!! Make sure to take time to enjoy what you like and try not to let any negativity get in the way of you enjoying your days. The world rev to me seems to be talking about seeking closure on the things in your life that have been impacting you. Tie up those loose ends so you can move foward without triping over yourself and 2 of swords rev I think talks about information overload and being kinda indecisive bc of that. Take a sep back to evaluate the situation at hand because sometimes it's so close you can't see what you're looking for. Those of you who are studying and getting frustrated because you just can't seem to get it, try taking a step back and doing something to take care of yourself and come back to it so you can approach with a clearer mind. Try not to get stuck or paralyzed by choice but if you do get stuck, take some time to detach yourself from the situation and come back later!
A fair few people wanted an update on yoobis soulmate as well. If you need a refresher here's the run down. Yoongis soulmate is impossible for me to read, yoongi is a smug ass and I'm nosy and probably a little dumb.
Now that that's cleared up
I asked, "am I missing something?" (As to why I can't connect and why yoongi won't give me answers.)
I got queen of cups, magician and the high priestess. I read this as him being like, "yeah dude, you aren't woke enough"
YOONGI just give me answers pls. The high priestess is intuition and sacred knowledge, the magician is manifestation and the queen of cups is also intuition.
At this point I was like, okay you little shit, can you at least tell me how your soulmate is doing? Can you do that for me?
2 of cups, 2 of pentacles, 9 of wands and knight of wands. 2 of cups is partnership usually romantic, 2 of pentacles is priorities and managing them, 9 of wands persistence, knight of wands motivation for a new thing. His soulmate last time was in the process of going through some shit and figuring it out and it seems like now they've got a better clue of how to move foward and are currently heading towards good things/ important things in their life (possibly like working towards dream career or had an idea for a business the want to start or field they want to go in.)
I was thinking about the next question when this popped into my head, "if you know about your akashic book, do you know about your soulmates? Have you read it?" I used my pendulum. No movement at all. What so ever. "Are you listening to me?" Yes. "So answer my question please" No. "Do you like to watch me suffer?" Maybe. "Do you know the answer to the question" yes.
This cheeky son of a bitch.
Now I was like, fuck it. Imma ask him the big boi question.
"Is your soulmate present when I do these readings?" Yes.
WHY THE FUCK CAN I NIT PICK UP ON IT???
I had to take a deep breath dude. Yoobi is testing my nerves.
"Are they hiding their energy?" No.
I was actually gonna combust. This makes no sense.
I asked yoongi if he would tell me what I'm not getting. Silence. So i ask my guide.
"lol ur dumb"
Watch me Google "how to fire your spirit guide"
Istg this feels like some dumb prank. Maybe I'm just genuinely oblivious to his soulmates energy or maybe I'm just doing something.
What do you want to bet that his soulmate is just hiding under the platform and I'm too stupid to notice or some dumb thing like that.
yoobi, sir, why must you do this?
I decided to continue.
"What message or thing have you learned from your soulmate recently that could be valuable to us?" I got healthy communication in relationships and deep replenishment.
Good to know you can have a nice communicative relationship with your soulmate bc I CAN'T.
I'm petty about it, sue me.
The message does stand though. Good communication and taking proper rest to replenish yourself.
Now I had to ask yoongi directly what he thought of may 13th.
I got the lovers, 7 of swords, the magician and judgement. The seven of swords was intresting and it makes me think there's some extra stuff at play here too. 7 of swords is about getting away with something and deceit. The clarifier was the magician.... this could mean a lot honestly. It could be that maybe yoongi will have his relationship exposed or possibly that maybe him and his soulmate meet but yoongi is disguised? Idk how that would work at all but I'm stumped. There's a lot of variations that this could be. The magician is about manifesting and having everything you need to create what you want. This could possibly mean that maybe he gets a sudden idea that's like, "oh I have to go here right now. Its super important" eventhough he has practice scheduled. So that would let down his team but he would be following his path and it might lead to him meeting his soulmate? Maybe vice versa? Idk let me know what you think??
With the judgement its about inner calling and kinda like the peak. Like shit has been leading up to this moment. With the lovers too it does seem like a union?
I asked him, "but like what's gonna happen on the 13th thought and I got the 10 of cups. Divine love, bliss, alignment, happy mushy gushy shit. This is why I'm so inclined to think that they'll meet on the 13th or things will get serious or their paths finally cross. The cards seem to heavily suggest that.
My dude. Yoongi is really sappy, pass it on.
For the last question I asked yoomgi if there was messages/ advice he had given to his soulmate that we might benefit from.
First step, open your third eye, open your heart, sign from heaven, open your arms to receiving.
A lot of opening lol.
It's good advice though learning to be open and receptive and taking that first step in tackling life or any situation.
Oki. Now for the disconnecting. It was not nearly as strange as it has been in the past. I was just like thanks dude. Again, happy birthday blah blah and I got up to leave. I noticed it looked like we were in sitting in one of those old plastic hoola hoops? Like the pink and yellow ones lol. As I was looking at and and like??? Off to the side the numbers 13, 28, 54. Obvi 54 isn't a date and then I the last yoongi check up there was book pages and I feel like 54 and 28 were the pages?? I'm not actually sure as I'm writing this so I'm gonna check.
Yep I checked. They are the page #s.
So that's intresting.
Other than that though I just kinda left and he was like, "bye" and that's all.
Not as cool as other yoongi adventures but equally as frustrating.
Yoongis doing pretty okay and he's a cheeky little shit. My guide like to watch me suffer and yoobi is mushy gushy squishy.
Happy day of birth Syub!!
For the Ship Ask Game: Octavia (and Bellamy, if I can ask for two?) 🧐
Thank you so much for the ask!! ❤️ Apologies for how long this got 😬
Starting with my girl Octavia:
when I first started watching The 100, linctavia were the first couple I genuinely shipped. they were so sweet, so pure, absolute babies. I think that Lincoln allowed Octavia to grow as a human being, while also being able to temper her wild side and get her to slow down a bit and see the beauty of earth despite all of the pain and suffering they endured. there was a realness to them that I loved & they’ll always have a spot in my shipper heart
they deserved better!!!! damn you jroth!!!
absolutely no part of me was prepared for levtavia okay
Levitt accepts Octavia for who she is, not as he wants her to be. he knows all the shit she’s done, the people she’s killed, the mistakes she’s made. at the end of the day, I think that’s all we want — someone who sees our flaws and loves us anyway. in spite of our flaws, maybe even because of our flaws
by the time season 7 rolled around I wasn’t as emotionally invested in this show as I had been previously. like I said, Octavia is my girl and I just wanted her to be happy. like many of us, I was super skeptical of Levitt when he was introduced, but I found my self wanting him to be a good guy because initially I thought he was an interesting character (and if the writers had more time they could’ve developed his characterization so well but whatever not the point) & Jason and Marie had some really compelling chemistry. but boy oh boy did these two steal my heart. idk if you can say they got a happy ending, but they were together and at peace, and tbh that’s the best I could’ve expected from this show
it took me awhile to warm up to Niylah when she was introduced in season 3, but her bond with Octavia was really heartwarming
overall I just really enjoyed their interactions
Ahhh now for Bellamy:
yes I’m sure you’re all just shocked by this one
where do I even start with these two?? OTP of all OTPs I would give my soul for them to have had a happy ending because !!! they !!! deserved !!! one !!!
*cries forever over the wasted potential*
I honestly don’t even have words to describe why I love them so much. I don’t even have to try to explain it because y’all already know what I mean
this ship is always going to be so special to me. bellarke was what one of my irl best friends and I initially bonded over when we first met. ships that have the power to bring people together are just ✨ magic ✨
they’re just *chef’s kiss*
okay yeah they were problematic in season 1 but their relationship developed in such a beautiful way
I really wish we had gotten more of their development in the time jump because we missed them going from begrudging allies to friends to family
probably a surprising ship because I don’t think I’ve ever posted about them
they’re probably more of a brotp for me in canon but I just really enjoy their dynamic and maybe in an AU where Clarke never existed, I’d be all about them
okay unpopular opinion? but
Gina was so good for Bellamy and she deserved better