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#nsfwish warning
pisscreant · 5 months
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An open and needlessly explicit letter to the anonymous message in my inbox, RE: my carnal desire towards one (1) Lieutenant Double-Yfreitor Harrier Du Bois
Just. Just listen ok. Would Harry even get around to having sex with me? Probably not. Provably, he'd cry or call me a slur or both. Then he'd flee by running straight through my wall, leaving a Harry-shaped hole in the bricks looney-tunes style.
Even if he managed to pass that skill check, would he be stinky? Would he be his cringe, diseased and obnoxious self? Absolutely, and so would I.
You don't understand. I am consumed with lust and degeneracy, and it has been pent up in my virginial form for a decade. I've put myself at risk of worse diseases at the mere CHANCE of getting some action, and I'd fucking do it again for some Harry Du Bussy. There is A Chance. A Chance of something twisted within me getting sated. And imo it is worth the risk.
"you'd fuck a fence if it was white" oh oh I'm sorry! is the fence psychic? Does the fence have like ten guys in his head who might be able to find my g-spot with the precision of a team of NASA engineers? Would the fence maybe let me peg him, tug him around by his facial hair, let me put a nose hook on him, and call him a 'good pig'? Then fucking call me cooper the way I'm about to build the whole bloody enclosure.
And you know what? You underestimate me. You think a 28 year old wasian woman can't match the rank energy of Harry Du Bois? Buddy I have Issues that you wouldn't believe. I've had identity crises that you could not comprehend. My little hirstuite body has created Odours that would horrify even the most seasoned medieval plague doctor. And I dont even have the Body Odour Gene! I had to DIY this shit, dickhead! Signature blend! Im defying racism so hard thay not even BIOLOGY ITSELF has command over me!
fuck the double standard. so like I'm allowed to drool about big fat hairy milfs and their glorious old pussies, but suddenly when I desire some morally dubious whiteman hole I'M too much of a pervert??? Well I don't fucking care. I was always an equal opportunity pervert, and I always will be. I have rights. I have a right to express how much I want to go at Harry Du Bois like a bull elephant in musth. This is my fucken blog and I control what I write here.
If Kim doesn't fuck that sad little man, then I will.
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carcinogenical · 1 year
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Luzhin considers the unspeakable deed good for him also yes I have a Lebezhin fanfiction in the works and I put the worst section here if you think that's cringe you can't hurt me because I too, think that. also ehhh idk cringe penis warning but not rlly bcs luzhin will never lose his virginity because he never loses
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emikolveartz · 1 year
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That was the sound of a fucking divorce! HAHAHAHA~
its took awhile but it's now finished yay!
this is from the bowuigi helluva boss au post @blue-annie920
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bluefishgoop · 2 years
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i read pinky & pepper forever today, good comic!!!!! i just think like the whole resin bathtub thing was so unique and i love like the whole artstyle too i love the whole like elementary schooler-esque artstyle with crayons and watercolors and Those Specific Black Pens but like so skillfully done and i thought it was just SOSO COOL
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tierra-paldeana · 19 days
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// on second thought. i cannot take this icon seriously. cause everytime i look at it i think of
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you. come. now.
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idolatries · 1 year
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feel free to ask me to tag that last reblog actually
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simping-acefully · 3 months
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Ep 3 got me acting really unwise
Nsfw headcanons for Laios under the cut (gn unspecified partner for Laios)
Warnings: NSFWish, probably ooc, reader insert implied?, probably not very sexy because I used this for character analysis.
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Laios is very attentive, though he's also very insecure when it comes to engaging with others. So I imagine he'd be a little clumsy, though very eager to provide the best aftercare for his partner. He's also very cuddly.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
The favorite part of his own body are his hands. They are strong and calloused, and he's used them to protect others and to create new stuff! (Aka, cooking) the fact that those hands can also help him please a partner is a plus.
On a partner? Probably lips. I imagine Laios struggles to read people's facial expressions (the 'tism go brr) but seeing his partner's smile is reassuring. He also really likes running his thumb over them and maybe getting his fingers nibbled.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
He cums a lot.He has tasted his own cum out of curiosity in the past, too. And if he had a partner that ejaculated or squirted he would be delighted to taste it all.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
He has probably jerked off to thoughts of his partner before they get together and it's eating him alive :(
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Zero experience, lots of book knowledge though! He's confused but he's got the spirit. Will need some leading at first, but he's a quick learner and is curious enough to experiment and try new things once he's gained confidence.
As an ace myself, I like to think that Laios is either ace too, or has a low drive and thus, sexual intimacy is a matter of doing something intimate and unique with a partner.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Any position that will allow him to see his partner's face for smooching! The emotional intimacy is the most important part for him.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
He tries to be serious to the point he's almost uptight. But his clumsy and eager nature ends up organically devolving into somewhat goofy intimacy.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
The carpet matches the drapes, but this man keeps it all natural because ?? Why would he waste time/energy on such things??? (Aka, he's not used to grooming the area, but he would do an effort if asked)
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
Very!! The main driving force for the act. Laios is constantly kissing and checking with his partner. He loves them so much and this is a physical way to convey those feelings!
He holds hands with his partner, kisses their face and neck and tries to keep them as close as possible, the mental image of melting into a puddle together comes to mind.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Doesn't do it often, but when he does it's more of a thing of connecting with his own body than getting rid of any urges. He won't be able to get off unless he's in a good mood.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Has a wee bit of a praise kink that he doesn't fully understand.
Shibari is one he wants to delve into, too. There's something to be said about the artistry of the knots, and the feeling of compression can be quite comforting.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Probably his partner's bed. He shares a room with Falin, so intimacy on his place is a no-no. He doesn't particularly enjoy motels or inns either because he feels kind of self conscious/pressured to perform within a time limit. He was to take things slow and he wants to cuddle to sleep afterwards, dammit!
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
I think his biggest driving force is an emotional connection. He craves to be understood and loved, so feeling that coming from his partner will make him want to show his appreciation in a physical way.
Probably jealousy is another good way to make Laios seek out his partner. He wants reassurance, to kill any doubts in his mind and any lingering feelings of inadequacy.
Also adrenaline too! Sometimes when the blood is pumping, his mind wanders. If he and his partner just were in a situation of danger, the physical reminder that they are there, alive and safe will make him desperate to feel them.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Doesn't like/understand degradation, and wouldn't do anything that he felt could hurt his partner.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
He prefers to give, and lives for pleasing his partner! He's not very skilled at first, but he's very observant and receptive, so he gets the hang of what his partner likes even if they do not say so themselves.
However, after getting head himself, he's hooked. He loves it, he loves the look on his partner's eyes and the physical feeling is overwhelming on the best possible way.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Usually slow and sensual, unless he just had a life or death situation with his partner, then he's desperate and anxious.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Not one to really go for quickies, but if he's on the rare mood for one, he'll be sure to get and give lots of affection.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Laios would be interested in trying everything at least once. He's curious and inquisitive, and just as he is fascinated by monsters, he's fascinated by his partner and wants to learn what turns them on, and see what also works for him
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
Stamina for days! He can last one very long round. If he didn't get sleepy and cuddly afterwards, he could probably do more, but hnnnggg comfy
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
He doesn't own toys, but if introduced to them he's up for trying pretty much anything, both on himself and his partner.
I can see him growing particularly attached to non-human looking dildos/strap-ons and ropes.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
He's not much of a tease, but he low-key enjoys being teased. He doesn't seem to understand it, or be fully aware of the fact, but yeah.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Not particularly loud out the impulse to self restrain, but Laios is a whiner. He can get pretty loud when he's about to cum though.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Would love to roleplay as a monster with their partner but when he did bring up the idea he got laughed off and passed it off as a joke. It was not a joke.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
I like to think that it would kind of mimic his silhouette, length slightly above average and overall on the thicker side. The widest point is right after the head.
Not very high at all. I kinda imagine Laios on the gray sexual spectrum so, it only becomes a thought after he begins pining for his eventual partner. It starts with him wondering how soft their hands would be, how about their neck and lips? And it eventually escalates to wandering thoughts of intimacy.
Once he does become intimate with a partner, he longs for intimacy more than he longs for sex itself.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
VERY. He's an eepy man.
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wammyhoe · 3 months
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So, remember that manga panel on L one day where he said he felt better on his chair than in a bed when Watari scolded him for simply sleeping right there? Well, what if he said this to the reader and she used it to tease him?
WARNINGS: NSFWish / suggestive / dry humping / L's losing his mind and it's cute
____________ ♡ ♡ 
His entire body burned with an unfamiliar desire to be closer, and the thought of sinking deep inside you was slowly eroding the remnants of his logical thinking. Fuck, the mere touch of your hands was melting him.
Within each breath, a part of him merged with you, and as overwhelming as that sentiment was, the grinding of your hips over the bulge in his pants managed to nearly silence it completely. Soon, L was fighting, fighting with all his might not to come just by dry humping. 
“Do you wanna go further?” you panted after breaking the kiss. 
The soft murmur, along the brush of your lips close to his ear, sent a shiver down his spine. L gripped your love handles, cold digits digging into the soft fat, tearing a gasp of you.
“I'd like to, yes. However, our current location may not be the most appropriate place for sexual intercourse.”
You laughed, hands rubbing his sides as you placed a small smooch on his nose.
"Aw, why? I thought 'it felt good on this sofa,'" you teased, quoting him.
"When I'm resting on my own, that is," he retorted, deadpan.
“So, are you saying you don’t like sharing it with me?” you pouted, rolling your hips over his own. L didn’t wasn’t sure whether he hated it or liked it, but there was no denying it drove him crazy. His dick twitched inside the fabric, fully hard and so needy for a naked touch it had started to be painful. 
“No. I’m simply stating we should go to a more appropriate place” he noted.
"Nah," you said, taking both of his hands to pin them above his head. L gave you a quizzical look, but you just smirked. "It feels good on this sofa."
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theelvenhaven · 8 months
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Married to Thranduil
Flirting with you while intoxicated
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A/N: Thank you @nerdysimpy for the Thranduil idea. Love those bestie privileges. It's my first Thranduil post and I am still getting a feel for his character so forgive me for not making this very long or if it's not wholly ic.
Warnings: NSFWish
****
❁ Thranduil has a really high tolerance for alcohol and rarely indulges himself beyond a glass or two of Dorwinion red.
❁ But there are times where has a bit too much to drink- whether that is in your shared chambers or at a festival.
❁ With the Dorwinion wine being so good and the talk that seems to keep going on and on it's no wonder one glass turns to two, three, four, five and more.
❁ When Thranduil flirts usually it is a bit sophisticated and formal even though you two are married, he likes to try to be poetic and above his station even to his spouse.
❁ He never fails though to make you blush in his complex flirty compliments about how you're his starlight, and how beautiful you are in several different poetic ways.
❁ But when Thranduil has filled his cups and has had a little too much to drink, he becomes a little more blunt and a little less poetic.
❁ At first they still will be suave and a little more on the chaste side of things;
❁ "My starlight, you look ever so ravishing tonight, you're glowing brighter than even the candle light."
❁ "That outfit suits you well, and shows you off perfectly, starlight. Your taste is impeccable."
❁ He will chastely, but no less seductively, offer little touches here or there.
❁ Like brushing your hair out of your face, tracing your jaw as he does so, holding your hand, a hand coming to rest on your knee chastely.
❁ But as he gets more intoxicated the touches become a little more intense and less chaste.
❁ The notes of seduction are definitely known as his hand wanders up higher on your leg, his face flushing a light pink and his lips twitching into a smirk as he eyes you.
❁ Though he is intoxicated, and would want the whole world to know you are his, he doesn't want anyone to overhear any of the flirting he does with you.
❁ So while he holds your thigh, with his thumb gently drawing circles, he leans over to whisper in your ear, his lips brushing against the shell of your ear.
❁ Whispering to you all the things he wants to do to you, even if you are in public.
❁ "My starlight it would be positively divine to ravish you right here, I'm aching to feel you."
❁ "You look divine in your outfit, but by Iluvatar I know you look better out of it and laying on our bed bare for me to see."
❁ He'll spend his time teasing you physically, his hidden hand brushing against your most private places but never fully touching you.
❁ Thranduil likes to watch you squirm and see the different expressions, the sounds of your shaky breaths knowing it's all him having that affect on you.
❁ He is also stealing kisses to your lips, not afraid of who it is that might see his loving display of affection for you, emboldened to let propriety fall to the way side.
❁ Nor is he afraid to be steeling kisses on your neck as he brushes your hair away, or nipping at your ear when he leans in close to whisper into it.
❁ Now when the tipsy flirting starts it is a perfect to give into his whims and steal him away for the evening and back to your bed chamber to make love all night long.
❁ But if you continue to let him drink, Thranduil is mostly all bark with no bite as he gets too woozy to be able to do any of lascivious things he's been whispering to you.
❁ On those walks back to your chambers with his arm around your shoulder, holding him up as you two walk back to your bed chambers.
❁ Thranduil will need to be laid down, and e won't bother to undress for the evening but he will coax you into laying down with him at the very least.
❁ He will press soft but sloppy kisses to your face, and pull you in close with him, snuggling close to you.
❁ He loves and adores you and feels so safe and comfortable with you before finally the alcohol wins out and brings him to fall asleep with you tangled in his hold.
****
Tags: @saviorsong @lilmelily @dicksoutformtl @fandomhoe101 @celebrimbor-telperinquar @red-riding @miriel-estelwen @ta-ka-shi-ma @nerdysimpy @thegirlwithoutaname87 @spidergirla5 @eunoiaastralwings @eternalabysss @noldorinpainter
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asimpwithfreetime · 1 year
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What happens if you pull their tail softly while making out? Avatar headcanons
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Characters: Jake Sully, Neytiri, Norm, Tsu’tey
Warnings: mature themes, suggestive content and I don’t know what else.
NSFWish under the cut!
Jake Sully
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This man in horny as hell, so making out is literally your daily routine.
If you ever dare to pull his tail softly, at first you will hear him moan. Probably will become putty in your hands. He is sooo desperate for that feeling.
He literally will beg you every time to pull his tail after that. And you will do it or he will beg with his lip quivering.
Whiny Jake at 100%
Instead of asking, sometimes his tail will move around you, waiting to be caught.
This man will love it. And pulling his tail will lead to a sex session instead of just make out.
Neytiri
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Ngl at first you will get hissed at, maybe she wasn’t expecting it, maybe it surprised her.
She will eventually like it. She will move her tail close to you while making out, letting you know that you should do it again.
I don’t make the rules, she moans, really softly with it. Almost a whine.
That gets her going and usually gets the make out sesión not the next level.
Not her favorite thing but she does enjoy it very much.
Norm
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He will be pretty surprised, even as an avid Avatar user, this new sensations catch him off guard.
Probably really flustered about it, even a little bit of stutter.
“Ba-babe! Why you do that?” Really whiny
Secretly loves it.
Doesn’t ask you to stop, but he will act as if it is offensive.
He gets fidgety with his tail more often, knowing that if you see him you’ll play too. He is just trying to “innocently” make you play with his tail without him having to say it.
Tsu’tey
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He hissed loud af at first. Like, this man’s instinct of fight or fight (fight or flight isn’t in his vocab) is always alert.
Having something so intimate as a make out session with you makes him fill vulnerable. So at first he just gets startled.
Then he likes it. “Do it again” he demands, his kisses, stronger but gentler.
Do as he says, just DO IT. He is a whiny baby, behind that tough guy facade. Deep down, there is a whiny touch-starved baby.
Pull his tail once and he will plan on mating you.
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sunandflame · 9 months
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Hi :) I’m sorry but my request isn’t there so it may have not sent properly. Please could I request headcanons of the hashira reacting to their crush being very kind and loving to their sibling/siblings :)
Aaah yes! This is such a cute request and I loved doing that! Please forgive me if it took longer than you expected. I hope it is to your liking and if not please let me know through an anon ask.❤️
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Hashira's reacting to their crush being kind to their sibling(s)
Warnings: maybe a super tiny nsfwish? mention of trauma and abuse in the past
Word Count: 955
Pairing: Hashira's x Fem!Reader
crossposted on AO3
Kyojuro Rengoku
Listen to me. This man would blush. And you know why? Because of his crush he got on you.
And now he sees how kind and loving you act towards Senjuro?
This of course leaves him with the question of whether you are so loving with small babies.
Of course you would, what a stupid question from him.
But now he just can't stop imagining you with a baby. A baby from you two, because this man definitely wants children later.
He later needed a cold shower to calm his flushing down, since he recalled how babies were made. 😉
Sanemi Shinazugawa
He would watch you silently and while he does an inner image would appear in front of him.
That of his mother's.
And that would confuse the Wind Hashira very much.
Especially when he sees how warm and kind you act towards Genya and other younger people?
He can't stop thinking that Sumi, Hiroshi, Teiko, Koto, Shuya and Sanehiro would adore you.
And that brings a comforting inner warmth that he had always felt towards his mother back then.
You remind him so much of his mother that he got flashbacks of how she protected her children from their brutal father like a lioness.
That spoiled his mood in the usual way and the gentle smile that briefly reflected on his lips disappeared.
He swore to protect you from everything and everyone, because such a kind soul had to survive in this world and not the murderous scum that he saw in himself.
Giyuu Tomioka
He too would be very subtle in his observation.
You probably wouldn't even know that he saw you.
But he did. And it had definitely triggered something in him.
And it was rare smile, but he kept turning away so quickly so that nobody would be able to see it.
The first time he wants to start a conversation with someone. And then with you of all people.
But he is so awkward and shy in it because he had never done anything like that, especially not with someone who he has a crush on. So double awkwardness.
So he keeps watching you, this time a little more obviously, hoping that you might start a conversation with him.
And while he was watching you a soft smile would play on his lips and this time he wouldn't turn away and look directly at you.
Tengen Uzui
The man had 9 siblings and they all died before he was 15
Then seeing you treating a younger one with kindness and love he wished he had felt when he was younger?
Yeah, this man is gonna come to you and lay the world at your feet together with his 3 wives.
But firstly, he would come alone, take your hand and gently kiss your knuckles.
"Be my 4th wife and have my babies. I know you would be a great mother!"
Mitsuri Kanroji
Our beloved love Hashira
She would probably hear it first from her siblings, before seeing it herself.
"Mitsuri neechaaan! Can we (y/n) see again? She was so nice and kind to us! She even brought us sweets!"
Those would be the words of her little siblings as they are all stand very close to each other.
This made her curious.
And if she then sees with her own eyes?
She would squeal in happiness, seeing how loving you are to them.
And would come up to you and hug you. Her breasts press against your shoulder. "Y/n you are so adorable!"
This time it's you who's blushing.
Obanai Iguro
He and Kaguramaru would watch you from afar.
The man didn't have a good experience with women as they were all terrible to him.
But you? You were the opposite and showed him with your gesture that there was also kindness in this world.
And that was one of the reasons why he had a huge crush on you.
And your gesture would make him fall even more for you.
He would sneak gifts to you.
(I am sorry. I feel like I am describing Obanai x Mitsuri as I always see them as canon and his type.)
Gyomei Himejima
He is already a big soft teddy bear
So expect it to grow into an even bigger one.
The first time he noticed tha, he wouldn't think anything of it.
But he sees that it's your nature and that you do it not for yourself.
And he would be touched by your kindness that he would shed tears (as he often does)
Gyomei eventually coming to you and while he towers over you with his height (man is huge) he would ask you.
"Do you want to talk about cats?"
Shinobu Kocho
Shinobu witnessed your kindness towards the younger ones in the butterfly mansion.
And she thinks you are downright adorable.
And she wants to tease you about that.
Which she will certainly do. (Nothing is going to stop her anyway) And oh she loves to tease you.
But on the other hand she will praise you. Telling you how admirable your kindness and love is.
"This reminds me of someone..." And for the first time her smile turned sad.
You could help but hug her and comfort her, as you did with the younglings.
Muichiro Tokito
Empty eyes would clear at that moment and would look at you in surprise.
It is not about how you look, but the way you treat other the younger ones. It would bring back certain memory he thought it was long gone.
He would look at you with wide big eyes.
"Y/n..." That he remembered your name would make you turn in surprise, but there would be a smile. "Yes, what is it Tokito-san?"
And then he would remember and he would hold your hand and smile. "Your kindness... It made me remember something very dearly to me. Of my father and mother... Thank you so much for that"
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viridwns · 11 months
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Hear me out- what if Darling sees Muzans female form? Honestly, I think i would go feral.
Female Muzan>Male Muzan
Darling would resist Male Muzan to the max. Like biting and scratching at him, making sure his life is way harder than it used to be.
But oh.
Ooohhhhh
When she sees female Muzan?
On her hands and knees. Even barking if F!Muzan commands it.
She's down HORRENDOUSLY (and who can blame her because same)
Darling is suddenly complying with everything she asks of her or does with her.
F!Muzan wants to dress her up all nice and pretty? Darling is going to be a perfect doll.
F!Muzan wants affection? Darling is all over her.
F!Muzan asks her to speak Japanese? Darling is suddenly fluent.
F!Muzan is also somewhat softer than M!Muzan, but still a real mean girl. She's also surprised at the whole switch darling went through the moment she saw her female form.
She isn't complaining, though, and absolutely ravishes in this new attention.
Darling just admires F!Muzan, it's like a whole new person demon. They enjoy cups of tea together, dressing up together, doing eachothers hair.
It's almost like how darling is with Daki only not platonic.
I wouldn't say darling is now A okay with the whole kidnapping and weird ass relationship thingy, but she is more willing when F!Muzan is around.
NSFWISH WARNING
Muzan would also use this to his advantage in the bedroom.
Darling was never compliant sleeping with the demon, but in female form, she is allot less resistant (it's still there, though)
F!Muzan has never been a fan of change, but when she tried out all these new ways in how they could pleasure each other, she was quite baffled.
I wouldn't say Muzan likes it better in female form, but he isn't complaining either.
She's still rough, but the experience is so much better somehow.
Anyway, F!Muzan is just better in lots of ways than M!Muzan (and hotter)
But you know, at the end of the day, it's still Muzan, and darling is still trying to bite her way out like a feral toddler.
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hey-august · 2 months
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I'm wrung and wringing out | (Buggy x Reader)
This is a request from @lostfirefly 🩷 A fic about how Buggy would cheer you up when you're feeling down. This is more sweet and intimate than spicy. I hope you like!
Word count: ~2.2k Warnings: NSFWish - no smut but mentions of nudity, MDNI, buggy x reader, established relationship, reader has breasts but no mention of genitals, no use of pronouns or y/n, 'babe' as term of endearment for reader, reader is not feeling quite right, just feeling down and in the dumps.
Title from "Delilah" by Florence + the Machine
˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ ✩ ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ ✩ ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ ✩ ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗
You wanted to do nothing. What does that even mean? Buggy tried to understand but he was failing and it was frustrating. When you said you weren’t feeling well, he brought you tea and medicine that you didn’t need. You weren’t sick, you just felt…off.
So the plans for rehearsals were pumped up and the captain brought you to watch. Acrobats soaring through the air, Richie leaping and roaring, fire eaters, death-defying stunts, however, the excitement of the circus wasn’t the cure. You watched, laughed, and applauded, but your mood dropped once the theatrics finished.
Flowers didn’t help. Donuts didn’t help. Stupid jokes didn’t help. Chocolate didn’t help. They all worked for a moment, but the effects of each miracle cure didn’t last.
Once the ranunculus bouquet was settled in a vase, your mood settled back down. As the sweetness from the glazed sugar dissolved in your mouth, so did your smile. Buggy’s jokes brought out huffs of amusement, but not the belly laughs he was used to. Chocolate was usually a guaranteed mood-booster, but not this time. The corners of your smile would slowly fall down as a weight returned to your chest. A weight that pushed you back into bed until you were burrowed in the green sheets, like a mound of dirt covered in moss. There you’d lay, existing and waiting out the moment.
“I don’t know…I don’t want to do anything. I just want to do this.” The explanation came from the depths of the earth.
Buggy flopped onto the bed, bouncing the lumps of blanket that you might be buried under. Those were the same words you said a few days ago when he first asked what’s wrong. What would help? What do you need? What can he do? You wanted to do nothing. But what should Buggy do? He tried to do nothing too. Then something. Anything that he thought would bring a smile to your face. And even though he succeeded in that, the smiles never stuck.
The pirate laid with you for a moment, wondering if it’s possible to do nothing together. Or is that considered something?
He shifted his position to find a more comfortable spot. Then he shifted back to hang his feet over the edge, remembering that boots don’t belong in bed. Even though they were too tight to kick off, Buggy still tried. He hooked the toe of one boot above the heel of the other and pushed. There was no give and when the hold slipped, his body thrashed with the unexpected movement. He tried again. After he floundered a second time, one of the blanket clumps curled up and pulled the woven cocoon tighter.
Sheepishly, Buggy chopped his ankles and feet into pieces that would slip from the confining shoes with ease. The heavy leather boots collided with the wood floor. The room was even quieter after the resonating thud, silently reprimanding the clown for his actions. Releasing the held breath burning in his lungs, Buggy swung his legs over the edge of the bed and sat up. He wasn’t able to do nothing so easily.
“Where you going?” asked a quiet voice.
“Gonna shower,” Buggy grunted as he started disrobing. Clothes were dropped on the floor with little clangs from buttons and buckles, and sighs of fabric relaxing. “I’ll be back soon, though.”
You listened to soft steps of bare feet against the wood floor before peeking out of the blanket bundle. The nude pirate was walking away from you, through streams of golden light and towards the bathroom.
“Me too?”
Buggy spun around to see you sitting up in bed, having emerged from the mass of green sheets. He nodded, slowly at first, then a little faster. “Yeah, if you want.” A tell-tale blush began making its way from his cheeks down to his chest before he turned back.
The shower turned on and so did your body’s need for cleanliness, which was rapidly overriding the desire to do nothing. Days hard at work doing less than the bare minimum left you feeling grimey. The sound of falling water changed as Buggy got into the shower and that was the last thing you needed to be convinced. You clambered out of bed, drawn to the liquid like a lost soul in the desert who finally found an oasis. Clothes were shed along the journey until you reached the destination cloaked only in goosebumps.
The air in the bathroom was heavy and earthy, full of the scent of ginger from the wash Buggy used. You peeked into the shower, second guessing your decision to join him. The hesitation was put to rest by the clean faced clown who was rinsing his long hair. Rivulets of water cascading down his body were colored by the strands of chromatic hair they followed. His eyes were closed and he looked so peaceful. 
The atmosphere was inviting and welcoming, so you stepped into his space. Buggy cracked an eye open at the sound of a wet footstep. After swiping the excess water from the top of his head, the pirate ushered you under the water and sidestepped until he stood on the other side of the shower. You shivered as the warm water coated your bare skin and carried away superficial grit and grime.
Turning slowly under the showerhead, you stated a simple observation. “It feels good.”
Facing the falling water, you tilted your head upwards and let the liquid run its course down your body. Little splashes created a mist that dampened your face, slaking the thirst in your skin. Hands glided on your shoulders, sliding on the layer of soap they carried. You could feel the callouses from a life of piracy on Buggy’s palms as he lathered your.
Buggy pulled you back from the water just enough for the water to avoid washing away all the suds he was building up. A few errant streams carried bubbles down a featherlight trail that tickled down the back of your thighs. Offsetting the airy feel of the suds was the firm touch of Buggy’s hands. Fingertips followed your curves and muscles, easing away dirt and stress. 
Once your back was covered in ginger-scented foam, he pulled you against his body. Despite the layer of soap and water, you two stuck together, held by affection. Buggy pressed a kiss against your neck as his hands moved to the front of your body to continue their work. His hold was slick against your breasts. Your nipples perked up under the rough yet soft touch.
“Buggy, I just wanna shower. I don’t wanna do anything,” you mumbled while wiggling under the attention. Your body slipped against his, but not out of his embrace.
“I know, babe,” he responded, oblivious that you would interpret his touch as anything other than wordless adoration. “You don’t have to do anything.” He spoke with lips still pressed against your neck.
Your body was tended to with diligence and devotion. You did nothing and Buggy did everything. He eased you from position to pose, moving with such intention that it felt like a dance. He brought your arm up before his touch was dragged back down as he directed the water and soap to your side and hips. His hand moved with grace along your chest and up your neck, mimicking a familiar hold. Sensual intensity was replaced with stronger intimacy. As the shower water flowed down, so did the hold.
With the top part of your body thoroughly finished, Buggy turned you to face away from the water. He lowered himself down, his hands moving along your left leg, until he took a knee before you. Pressure on your calf nudged you to put your foot on his raised knee. Before returning to his cleansing duty, the pirate pressed his cheek against your knee and tilted his face in to kiss your thigh. The water splashing down your body coated his lips. 
A light spray coated Buggy’s face so that when he looked up at you, his long lashes were decorated with minute beads of water. A waterfall roared in your body, surging with feelings of being seen and understood. You wiped away heavy droplets threatening to run down his forehead, pushed back a few strands of hair that had crept forwards, and blew him a kiss. The affection was returned with yet another kiss pressed against the soft skin of your inner leg, then replaced with the love and lather carried in his worshiping hands.
The shower felt like an eternity and you weren’t sure where you ended and Buggy began. You had lost your sense of self and you welcomed it. It felt like you were one with nothing. You gave your companion a hazy, dopey grin as he left the shower first. In the solitude, you relived the touches through the water that washed away the remaining suds. It didn’t take long for the remaining heated water in the reservoir to run low and the dropping temperature was your sign to leave the wet world behind.
You dried off with the towel set out and returned to the bedroom. Buggy was nowhere to be seen, but the bed was made with fresh gray sheets and a pile of clothes sat on the corner of your side. You were surprised to see that Buggy knew which drawer you kept your pajamas in until you pulled out the clothing. He put out one of his shirts and a pair of his underwear. Before you could get your own clothes, the door swung open and Buggy flew in with his hands full.
“I set out some clothes for you and I got us snacks and wine,” he said, nodding towards the bed and balancing a plate of something you couldn’t see in one hand, and clutching a wine bottle and two glasses in his other.
“These are your clothes,” you pointed out.
“Yeah…you don’t want ‘em? I thought you’d like to wear them,” he said hesitantly. Heat overtook him with embarrassment and melted your heart.
“No, wait, I do want to!” you cried, scrambling to pull on the clothes as quickly as possible. 
The underwear was barely pulled up when you got stuck tugging down the shirt. With one arm successfully tucked into an arm hole and the other arm stuck through the neck hole, you struggled in the self-created labyrinth. A rogue hand grabbed the neck of the shirt and pulled it away so you could realign yourself.
Once you were wrapped in the pirate's clothes and had regained sight, you saw Buggy’s set up. He sat in the middle of the bed, with a plate of dried meat, peanuts, and apple slices. A glass of white wine waited on each bedside table.
“Can you braid my hair for me?” Buggy asked in a practiced voice while avoiding your gaze. It wasn’t a request he didn’t like, but one that he was shy to ask for. He had never asked this question outright before, preferring to make it sound like your idea by saying you could play with his hair if you wanted.
Afraid he would change his mind, you nodded and quickly climbed into bed behind him. You got comfortable and hooked your feet under his knees, pulling his legs apart slightly. Shifting into the dip in the bed, his hips between your legs, as though this is how you belong together. Once in place, you finger combed his still-damp hair and began sectioning it. Meanwhile, a hand floated over with a bit of apple for you to eat.
The rest of the evening passed like this. Taking full advantage of Buggy’s begrudging request, you plaited his long blue hair more than once before deciding on a style that was both flattering and comfortable. After finishing his hair, you tugged each lobe to make the braid fluffy.
Throughout the haircare session, you were fed bits of food. Wine was offered once, but not again after you nearly drowned trying to keep up with the tilt of the glass. And maintaining the soundtrack was Buggy, who rambled and gossiped about whatever fell from his head into his mouth.
You began feeling drowsy while Buggy chittered about the new baby circus animals, so you flopped forwards to continue listening. His monologue continued as the performer reset the scene by clearing the bed and moving you both into place under the sheets. The last thing you remembered was the feeling of an arm wrapped around your waist and pulling you close.
The next morning took its time to arrive. It moseyed in, easing deeper into the day before you noticed its arrival. The sunshine wasn’t what woke you up, though. It was Buggy’s snoring.
Still wrapped around your body, his face was pressed against the back of your head and the strangled sleep sounds were released next to your ear. While the noise was loud and grating, you found it comforting. For the first time in a few days, you felt ready for the new day. You felt refreshed and eager to do something with your favorite pirate clown. 
You must have fallen back asleep, since Buggy was the next person to lay awake in the bed. You had rolled around in his hold and were facing him. And stuck on your sleepy face was a smile that wouldn’t fade.
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impala-dreamer · 7 months
Text
Of Whipped Cream & Body Heat
A Supernatural Story
~After getting jumped on a hunt, Y/N and Dean find themselves locked in a walk-in refrigerator. Can they brave the cold and each other's temper until Sam sets them free?~
Dean Winchester x Reader, Sam 
2192 Words
Warnings: NSFWish... Banter and Romance and Snark and Fluff and Just... I love it. I LOVE IT. Please Enjoy. 
Impala-Dreamer’s Masterlist  ~  Patreon  ~ Published Works
A/N: This and hundreds more fics are available anytime on Patreon
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“I don’t know how or why, but I feel like you planned this.”
Y/N popped a hip and chewed on a fingernail, staring angrily at the big metal door blocking her exit.
The fluorescent lights above were harsh, sure to blind them both if they looked up for too long. The air being circulated through the walk in fridge was so cold that she could feel her nipples and everything else perk towards too hard.
Dean scoffed. “Why the hell would I have planned this?”
He shifted against the back wall and stretched his long legs out, taking a moment to regroup. His head was still bleeding and Y/N frowned at the cut above his eye when she glared back at him.
“You’ve probably got a concussion,” she sighed, grabbing a head of lettuce off the shelf to her left and chucking it at him. “Put that on your head.”
Dean cocked a brow in confusion. “Uh… why?”
She rolled her eyes. “Because it’s cold. You gotta stop the swelling. You don’t want a bump, do you?”
Annoyed, he tossed the cabbage back and it landed at her feet. “I don’t want that.”
“So sorry you disapprove, but the frozen peas are next door in the freezer!”
“Why are you yelling at me!”
“You’re yelling, too!”
“Because you’re yelling at me!”
“I fucking- I- Damnit, Dean!”
Pursing his lips, he let it go and looked away, trying to think up a plan to get them out of there.
They were chasing a monster- again- and things went south- again. They weren’t really even sure just what they were dealing with other than that it was big, fast, and conked them both on the head before they knew what was happening. The knock out sucked, but waking up trapped in a fridge was proving to be even worse.
Dean yanked his phone from his pocket and made a show of holding it up to look for bars.
“I got nothing,” he sighed, pressing random buttons just in case.
“Of course you don’t.”
“What?”
Y/N nearly growled. “We’re in a big metal box. You’re not gonna have a signal in here. It’s science.”
His nostrils flared. “Don’t ‘science’ me, Y/N/N. You know I hate that.”
She crossed her arms defiantly. “Science?”
“No. When you act like you know everything and I’m just an idiot grunt. I know things, too, OK?”
Y/N clicked her tongue and let the anger sizzle. She turned her back on Dean and slammed her fist into the door.
“Hello! Hello! Someone help us!”
Dean kicked a knee up and leaned his arm on it. “No one’s gonna hear you, it’s past one in the morning.”
Again, she banged on the door. “Hello! I’m trapped in here with a grunt person and he’s very annoying!”
He seethed. “Get over yourself.”
She glared. “You.”
Green eyes narrowed. Pink lips curled. “You.”
Y/N huffed and closed her eyes, done with him and then entire hunt. “I give up.”
Dean picked at a split nail on his left thumb. “Yeah, well, so do I.”
“Great.”
Tossing her arms up in surrender, Y/N spun and threw her back against the wall. The metal was freezing and she drew her arms in across her chest.
Silence hung between them like their breath, dancing in the air before their noses both threatening and childishly amusing.
Time ticked by and Y/N squinted, trying to read Dean’s watch from across the room.
“How long we been in here?” she asked, teeth starting to chatter noticeably.
Dean peeked at the time. “Half hour, maybe. Dunno.”
She shivered. “Wonderful.”
“You cold?”
She shrugged. “A little.”
Hoping to his feet, Dean shrugged off his top layer and walked across the fridge, holding it out for her.
“Take it.”
Y/N shook her head. “No, I’m fine.”
A heavy sigh came out like dragon’s breath and Dean ducked down to grab her arm, lifting her onto her feet. “Come on. Just take it.”
“What about you?” She looked up with worried eyes, finally over the annoyance and throbbing headache.
“Ah, I’ll be fine. I’m layered.” He winked as he tossed the green canvas over her shoulders and buttoned the top button. “There ya go. Better?”
Y/N nodded. “Thanks.”
It was a thousand times better. The jacket was a little smelly, tinged with smoke and gun oil and something that was similar to but not altogether taco seasoning. Still, it was warm and Y/N sank into the heat as she calculated how long they could last in thirty eight degrees.
Dean watched her closely. “You’re doing math,” he said with a soft laugh. “I know that nose crinkle anywhere.”
Y/N gasped, feigning offence. “I don’t have a math face.”
“Sure you don’t.” He licked his lips and shrugged. “I wouldn’t worry about the cold,” he told her, moving away to inspect the food lining the walls.
“Yeah? What would you worry about?”
“Oxygen.”
She tried not to show her nervousness. “W-what?”
Picking through a box of vegetables, he nodded. “Yeah. We’re in a big metal box, right? Probably sealed up real good. You should be more worried about running out of air. We’ll suffocate before we freeze to death.”
The chill gripped her bones and Y/N’s eyes went wide. In her worst nightmares, she was always drowning or suffocating, dying in some horrid fashion unable to breathe. Her lip trembled.
“Dean, I-”
Her voice cracked with fear and he turned, smug and unaffected.
“Wait a minute.” Her brain defrosted and she sneered. “You asshole. There’s vents right there!” She shoved a hand towards the back right corner of the fridge. “We’re not gonna suffocate. But you may die bloody if you keep this up.”
“Hey, now-”
An apple flew at his head and Dean dodged it at the last second.
“Hey!”
“You should eat more fruit anyway,” she jeered.
“Oh, I’ll eat more fruit, alright!”
Y/N laughed. “How is that a come back? Are you threatening me by threatening to eat better?”
Dean’s face turned as red as the aerial apple. “I- You- Damnit. Shut up.”
“You are an idiot.”
“And you are more frustrating than a- a-”
“A what?”
“A something very frustrating…”
Again, they dropped into quiet, each on their own side of the six by nine foot room.
When her worry grew too strong, Y/N cracked the silence. “Sam will come get us, right?” she blurted, words exploding like a cloud of smoke from her lips.
Dean chewed his lip and nodded, though his face was twisted with concern. “Yeah. Totally. Hundred percent. He’s probably on his way right now.”
She didn’t believe him. Sam hadn’t even known where they were going and the GPS on their phones was dead because their phones were dead. “Yeah…”
“Yeah…”
Y/N picked at a string inside the sleeve of his jacket. Her fingers were painfully cold, the tip of her nose felt like ice, her ears were numb.
“I don’t wanna die in here,” she whispered, looking up at the big handle-less door.
Dean’s jaw twitched as he swallowed down a rush of worry. “We won’t. I promise.” Her eyes flickered over to him and guilt walloped Dean in the chest. “What, you don’t believe me?” he teased, hoping to get her to laugh.
She shrugged, too cold to argue. Back still against the door, she folded in on herself, tucking her chin to her chest and hugging her knees.
Even from across the room he could see how badly she was shaking, and it made him realize he was vibrating with cold as well.
“This is stupid,” he sighed, pushing up and away from the nearly freezing floor.
Y/N watched him stalk across the fridge, fear leaking into her face as he got close.
“W-what’re you doing- Oh!”
Dean sat down before she could stop him and pulled her close, crushing her face into his chest. He was cold too, but the added layers had given him a little temperature cushion, and Y/N sank into his residual warmth. She exhaled hard and slid her hands beneath his flannel, hugging tight.
“Fuck, you’re so warm.”
Dean rested his chin on the top of her head. “No, you’re just icy.” He could hear her teeth clinking together and he rubbed his hands vigorously down her back and upper arms. “Figure we can share some body heat before it’s all gone.”
She didn’t respond.
Y/N closed her eyes and let him take care of her, resisting the urge to make a nasty comment or start their fight up again. There was never a reason for their continuous bickering except for the obvious, unrequited love story brimming beneath the surface of their friendship. And it wasn’t as if they didn’t know of each other’s feelings, it was just that life was too hard already, and adding a romantic relationship into the mix felt like more work than it was worth.
So they fought.
A lot.
He felt good wrapped around her, somewhat warm and mostly soft. She ran her fingers up his back and the muscles flexed, shoving too many ideas into her head.
“Thank you,” she purred, curling deeper into him.
Dean sucked on his bottom lip and closed his eyes as he breathed her in. She smelled like apples. Not like the artificial apple flavoring that for some reason was always neon green; no, she smelled like fresh apples on a tree. Like he was walking through a sunlit orchard with her, hands clasped, smiles bright and-
“Uh-” Dean shook himself and cleared his throat. “Yeah. No problem. Could be a while before Sammy tracks us down so-”
“Yeah. But he will. I know he will.”
His heart was beating fast, she could hear it if she pressed her ear to the center of him. It beat a little faster when her hand slid from his back to his hip, faster still when she lay it on his thigh.
“Dean?”
Too afraid that his voice would break, he hummed without moving his lips. “Hmm?”
She hooked her nails along the seam of his jeans and tugged slightly.
“I’ve read that skin-to-skin contact is the best for… sharing body heat…”
His heart pounded like a jackhammer.
Y/N grinned.
“There ya go getting all sciency on me again.”
She bit her lip and pulled back, looking up at him. “Science has been known to save lives, you know.” She shifted, twisting around so that she was up on her knees, eye level with him. “Just a thought… Maybe we should-”
Green eyes went wide. “Oh, hell yes.”
He reached for her face; giant right hand sliding against her cheek and pulling her in.
The kiss was awkward and uncertain. Y/N couldn’t stop a laugh from bubbling up inside and Dean couldn’t decide which was to tilt his head. They faltered and pulled away, looking anywhere but at each other.
Y/N coughed. “Well. That was-”
Dean frowned and shrugged. “I mean, as far as first kisses go, it was really-”
“Rather…”
“Shit.”
Y/N laughed and turned back to him, hiding her face in her hands. “It really was.”
Dean sat up straight and squared his shoulders. “We can do better.”
“You sound so sure.”
His smirk was too much to handle. “Practice makes perfect.”
It really did.
Their next kisses were the good kind of sloppy and they quickly found a rhythm, falling head first into each other. Shirts were cast aside, jeans were wriggled out of, and boots flew across the floor. Hands explored, tongues tasted, pleasures were matched. Their breath floated above them in foggy crystalline clouds and friction kept them alive.
When the door finally opened, they were lounging together by the back wall, tangled up, laughing and squirting whipped cream into each other’s mouths.
Sam burst in, gun raised, brow furrowed and sweaty. Panting, he took a quick look around before his eyes settled on the two captives.
“Hey! I- uh-” Lowering his gun, he straightened up, entire form on edge as he struggled to explain the scene to himself. “What’s going on?”
“Sammy!” Dean beamed from the floor, a bit of cream hanging from the corner of his lip. “What took ya so long?”
Visually offended, Sam averted his eyes. “Looking for you,” he said firmly. “Again, what is going on?”
Y/N laughed and licked the whipped topping from Dean’s mouth. “We got hungry. There was pastry…really good cannoli-like thing.” She looked at Dean. “It was a cannoli, right?” He nodded. “Yeah. And then I found this thing of whipped cream and…ya know… we’re eating it.”
Exasperated, Sam sighed and rubbed at his eyes. “Yeah. OK. But… Why are you naked?”
Dean chuckled and grinned up at his little brother. “Science.”
Y/N nodded and stuck the cream nozzle into her mouth. “Science!”
Done with his brother, his friend, the case, and anything else that God wanted to throw his way, Sam hung his head and turned away, heading back into the warmth of the dark restaurant kitchen. “Science.”
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