Tumgik
#nuanced domesticity
murphywilling · 1 year
Text
Philip calling Benoit by his last name... is something that means so much to me
Tumblr media
434 notes · View notes
tumblezwei · 11 months
Note
So where’s the sympathy for Adam and James then?
SIX FEET UNDER JUST LIKE THEM WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
59 notes · View notes
nobodymitskigabriel · 3 months
Text
I've gotten accustomed to reading Jack's childhood skip as a narrative hand wave so he can function on more or less the same level as the other characters and since he's not human and we're watching supernatural it feels permissible to take that leap in logic and go ahead and read him as a young adult. He is highly naive and inexperienced and there is a very large power imbalance involved with him and his caretakers and those are core aspects of his character that make him uniquely vulnerable to the abuse and trauma that he suffered, but those things don't necessarily make him an infant and I don't think that's how he's meant to be read.
19 notes · View notes
bbyteach · 4 months
Text
Kind of sad that a lot of the discourse seems to be ed vs. Izzy and who is who’s abuser. To me? They seem to be coded something like decades-old drinking buddies more than anything else. It’s a comparison I draw from being someone in recovery, anyway, but it rhymes with situations Ive heard over & over again in recovery spaces. That kind of sustained toxic, codependent relationship that blurs lines through healthy/abusive in a more mutually destructive lifestyle that just goes way too far. It can entail a wide spectrum of feelings: romantic love, familial love, resentment, disgust, respect, ect. Hurting each other in some fucked up cycle that repeats and gets worse over time until someone might end up dead. All of that.
Not to mention Ed has seemed to have a history of sinking deeper into his worst self & refuse to confront that he is not only capable of softness, but deserving of it. ‘I cant make it better but I can make it worse’ logic. And stede coming along to show him that it’s all possible before leaving and Ed coming back to this conclusion and embracing the nihilism of it all in tenfold. Of course he has free will and had a chance to embrace healing with Stedes leftover crew. But it crumbles with Izzy’s push to not be some soft ‘namby pamby in a silk gown pining for his boyfriend’ being a ‘fate worse than death’. Izzy buys into the toxic version of piracy as a badge of honor but possibly also sees it as a protective cloak. And that’s Ed’s family, for better or worse. Ed has also had to use the skill set of being a bloodthirsty pirate to protect his family & himself all his life. He has not had the privilege to see the power of tenderness actually work for him in his personal life or his work. Also therapy just does not exist in this universe. This is part of why the story being about some of the most bananas midlife crises imaginable.
Like this is a universe set in the crime world of piracy. Jim and Lucius becomes good friends even after they lock him in a chest bc he helps Jim get the knife. Zheng was probably going to have Olus family (Jim) killed before escaping and at the end they are all? Together maybe?? They all have a tumultuous relationship with Spanish Jackie. She tries to kill them and then accepts them over & over again. She poison trains them without their knowledge. They all try to kill and hurt each other several times. I’m willing to bet Ed & Izzy have done so a million times before until they just realize they’re both talented pirates and are better in this world as the Blackbeard persona. But they all come together in this world with hilarious muppet charms and accept each other as a community. A found family. of pirates! These are all ppl living outside like… all of the laws except their own pirate code. Idk! I guess I want to see more interesting discussions of the nuances of all of that. Like I personally would hope in season 3 we’d see more of a healthy amends process and confronting trauma more effectively when you’re able to be more yourself. This “old love” life DJ hinted at. & maybe everyone learning a healthier way to be in community with each other in the long term as well. I think that’d be fucking amazing actually?
Just. Idk all these interesting morally grey characters learning to be with each other and have found family to love and trust is just an infinitely more interesting than pointing out “x-person is x-persons” abuser bc I think it’s all wayyyy more complicated than that in this story and the world they all live in.
15 notes · View notes
writing-with-olive · 6 months
Note
for social change, what's your hottest take?
ohoh this is a fun one.
There's no such thing as a good or bad person. There's just circumstances and choices.
I'd leave it at that but people tend to hear that and think what i mean is that we can't hold people accountable or go "what about <insert historical person here>?"
i'm gonna go into what i mean. read through before you come at me.
If someone's good or bad, that's an innate character judgement. They just... Are. The logical next step of this is to believe that of course they made the choice they did. It couldn't be helped. It also makes it very improbable to make a choice that didn't align with their good/bad category placement, they're just not cut out for that. But that's just now how life works.
Every single "good" person in history has made mistakes, and every single "evil or bad" person in history has some things right. Even on the extremes. We consider them to be good or bad because on average, we as people struggle with nuance, and these individuals, on average made decisions that either significantly bettered or worsened society around them.
These decisions though, weren't because of some innate quality that people had. They were responses to a wealth of factors: what they'd been taught to value, their psychological state, what resources they had, what they knew in the moment, and a bunch of other things. But at the end of the day, they were decisions. They could have chosen not to do that thing, good or bad.
As pedantic as this feels in the abstract, it does have very tangible social change consequences.
As many humans struggle with nuance, many also struggle with accountability. If a person is just a good or bad person, it doesn't matter what's happening in the world around them. But people respond to their circumstances, and those who enable positive choices, and those who enable negative choices are still partially accountable for the outcome of the situation.
Example of this: a kid A gets upset on a playground and lashes out at another kid B, hurting B in the process. We could call A a "bad kid," but if that's how conflict resolution and emotional regulation's being modeled at home, is A really bad? or did they just use the tools at their disposal to the best they knew how? The parents here are partially accountable for A's actions because they enabled that behavior.
What I'm getting at here is that if we stop at calling people good and bad, we're not going to get at the underlying issues that perpetuate problems. In the example, kid A is still going to have to apologize and do what they can to make amends for their actions, they did harm, after all, but unless this knowledge gap is filled by those who can see it needs to be filled, the problem will continue.
That's the circumstances part of "there are just circumstances and choices." The other side is that even a person we see as "good" can do major harm, and a person we see as bad can do major good.
Example of this: if close friend X is always super kind when you're around, and does a lot of good work, maybe volunteers, and then you hear from his son that X is a perpetrator of domestic abuse, does the fact that you see abusers as bad people and X as good mean that X is inherently not perpetrating domestic abuse?
No. The answer here is no.
Another (real) example: if someone radicalizes a lot of people towards a hate group and then gets deradicalized themself and start an organization centered around getting others out, does the fact that they caused part of the problem to begin with mean that what they're doing now doesn't matter because they're already bad?
I would argue no here. It might not undo the problem and collateral damage but it does matter.
What I'm getting at is that people can help people in one area of life and then turn around and hurt others in a different area. If we believe that "good" people are incapable of doing harm, we're going to abandon those who feel the direct brunt of the damage being caused and we'll be afraid to call out the actions taking place, and it will continue to go unchecked. If we believe that "bad" people are incapable of doing good, then we inherently forfeit any battles we fight trying to make positive change. How can a person do better if we lock them into a narrative where their only options are to continue harm?
Similarly, this goes to how we view ourselves. One the one hand, a lot of people who consider themselves to be "good people" have done a lot of harm because of the belief that hurting others makes someone a bad person and they're not a bad person so therefore they could not have done harm - it's the other person's fault, or it wasn't actually hurting someone because there just wasn't another way. Or the other hand, if people consider themselves to be "bad people" then that must mean they're the ones causing the harm, regardless of whether or not they are.
Having this in mind also protects us against scapegoating mentality. What actions are the people we're told are good making? Why are they making them? Likewise, what actions are the people we're told are bad making, and why?
In the end, people are in control of the choices they make. Being kind and compassionate is a choice. So is being violent or destructive. People will always have their reasons because most of us like to see ourselves as the hero of our story, but a choice made is still a choice made. We all have to answer for that.
[and for the people who are picking their worst villain from history and saying what about them? yeah they made horrible choices. but it was in their power to make a different choice. the weren't predestined for badness, they were taught that it was okay (or weren't taught that it wasn't) and chose to do it anyway. they also chose not to right those wrongs. they probably didn't even see themself as anything but a hero, especially since they were kind to at least someone. and that's the dangerous part, because anyone, given the right conditions and resources can go down that path.]
TL;DR, a good and bad binary doesn't reflect reality, it obscures a lot of problems, lets enablers of bad choices get off free and leaves those of good choices in the shadows, makes it harder for people to change for the better, makes it harder to call out when people change for the worse, enables scapegoating, and makes it harder to recognize the agency we have over our own actions and the consequences thereof. That's my hot take.
5 notes · View notes
hellyeahheroes · 3 months
Text
youtube
Amber Heard & the Myth of the Perfect Victim by matt bernstein
2 notes · View notes
rotzaprachim · 11 months
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
reading retrospective 2023: extremely thick and unexpectedly gripping general histories 
13 notes · View notes
Text
OK I just discovered ANOTHER blog that blocked me this month.... that's 3 now... honestly wild
5 notes · View notes
thepringlesofblood · 6 months
Text
my hot take is that tangled is easily top 5 disney movies all time. that shit rules.
3 notes · View notes
souvlakiandcocaine · 1 year
Text
Don’t get my words twisted I am all for wealth distribution and eating the rich. This isn’t about that. But this common rhetoric abt the children of wealthy people “never having gone through anything” or “never experienced hardship”—how do you know that, exactly? Are you in their house? Do you think material wealth makes better people and reduces parents’ propensity to beat, molest, or otherwise abuse their children? Do you think that maybe their “privilege” is used as a tactic to keep them quiet? Yes wealth comes with innate advantages and these kids may never pay a college or hospital bill but the amount of grandiose assumptions being made about strangers’ home lives is very hmm. And saying you’re going to bully your local rich kids is just . . . why, exactly? Will that pay your bills? Are you just looking for a socially acceptable target to bully? perhaps you just like bullying in general? Are you okay in the head?
8 notes · View notes
itspileofgoodthings · 2 years
Text
one of the things that I think is so beautiful and compelling and unexpected and FUNNY about boys in fiction (in real life too but we have more examples to see it in fiction) is that not only can they be fragmented and compartmentalized little creatures it’s that until they become men they pretty much inherently ARE. they can be so Beautiful and trustworthy and capable in one area of their lives and then such a complete disaster in others and of course this is true of all human beings but I feel like we fail to see this about boys especially because when we see one good or beautiful quality in them we extrapolate that to every area of their lives instantly in a way that the boy, real or fictional, hasn’t actually achieved yet. They can love their families and be completely unready for romance. They can be generous and deft with some people in their lives, their teammates maybe or even, say, the neighborhood kid who needs help, and sullen immature little assholes in other areas, where they’re more afraid or unsure or even just where they haven’t learned what to do just yet. We overreact to their good qualities sometimes, quick to label a boy who cooks or shoulders some amount of domestic responsibility as a cinnamon roll, in a way that downplays and minimizes both their humanity and the necessity of them going on a journey of growing up. And I get why we do that because those qualities alone, those of a domestic or compassionate nature, are so rare to see in boys and we WANT to see them and we love to see them. But it’s important for them as much as us to ask ourselves the question: what is a man? And the answer is: a boy whom suffering has tempered and refined, that has taken together all these disparate pieces of bravery and goodness and cowardice and laziness and welded together into one unified whole. And so that journey into adulthood and manhood is one we have to care about for them the most if we care about them at all.
15 notes · View notes
3416 · 2 years
Text
honestly.. they did such a great job of straddling the line of seriousness about tk’s stuff for most of this ep
24 notes · View notes
greenishness · 1 year
Text
listening to zeit online/lage der nation type podcasts genuinely rots my brains out but it's so illuminating to get unfiltered insight into how german elites view the world 👍🏻 incredible how earnest and blindly well-intentioned you can be about imperialism
5 notes · View notes
Text
Why is it so hard to find ship stuff with Goemon that doesn’t woobify him to hell and back? Like Jigoe stuff Jigen is almost always mostly in character, but Goemon is completely divorced from the stoic fellow warrior and reduced to a wistful blushing meek but physically forward character. Like yeah he’s a flustered mess around women but its not in the “kiss me lover //blush//” way it’s more of the “stand still internally screaming because I want to kiss him so bad but I also DON’T want to do that bc that would involve intimacy and I’m terrified and out of my depth I’m just gonna duel him instead” way lol. Like I don’t doubt eventually he’d get the hang of things and make advances himself but outside of like, vague homoerotic teasing I’m not sure he’d be the one to back Jigen against a wall HQKRKQKR
17 notes · View notes
beardedhandstoadshark · 2 months
Note
which character do you want to lie on the ground with and watch the sky together?
…Kirby I think, feels like it’d be a very chill and comfortable time. Who else than the literal personification (…puffballification?) of friendship and good vibes, really? c:
0 notes
cybertronian-menace · 7 months
Text
My fantasies about domestic life with Itachi are me taking him and Sasuke to family counseling/therapy because there are better ways to handle our issues than murder.
0 notes