Tired of trying,

Yes I’m smiling,

But I’m the inside,

I’m Obama prism

i love that youre the most hurt when its me who has to deal with this pain.

Woah I’ve been having daily downs and it sucks

Some days I really just need to be alone. I don’t wanna talk, I don’t wanna be around anybody, I don’t even want to be seen. I just need a day or two to exist on my own

All of Last Night

Uhg. Too many triggers.

The whole, Shute storm urging me the to crush myself again.

I don’t want to rebuild again, I’ve got my concrete. And it’s legit and of course sur un le lit! Haha. ha…

But, we’re not many minds.

And they still wanted to kill last night.

Why? Should I take more? Should I… Uhg that point bothers me.

I’ve been fraking. Playing around, time to be at work, the demons are acting as snakes that bite me everywhere. And two infectious men, Ik the devil. Do check out my past. Me and the light are close… but Scarlett I miss her. She knew how it was…

This stupid pain. The headaches, I mean a game, a maze got me sick.

Get this shite overworth. Ha see what I did there. Must get a new zaffaira for Salt…. me a new crown and bury… well the curse is there…

Too much for even my girls to follow. I’m the original. You’ve already tried

Eu estava tão drogada naquele dia (tudo bem que isso não é importante).

Quando meu amigo maluco estava fazendo bizarrices, vi ele de longe e passei pelas outras pessoas da casa onde iniciamos uma rave, passo pelos cômodos e chamo minha amiga Pã que está morrendo de rir em cima da mesa com mais gente:

“Eu estou tão chapada!!!”

Reviro os olhos e me afasto, no outro cômodo eu vejo o cara que eu gosto dançando com uma outra garota… juntinhos, ele sente o cheiro dela que parece tranquila dentro do abraço dele… se entregam um ao outro: sinto ânsia… um monte de zumbidos estouram e vou pro banheiro…

Fecho a porta com coração acelerado e sem fôlego… espero meu ar voltar aos pulmões…

Sento chorando ao lado da privada olhando minha perna, sinto tão perdida, tão…

Tiro uma garrafinha de álcool misturado da bolsa e bebo tudo esperando que a bebida queime na garganta e alivie o que sinto.

Droga!

Caramba! Eu só…

Tudo menos ele… menos isso, de todos eu jamais esperava…

“não vou pedir mais pra que ele me aceite, esse tipo de coisa não se pede…”

Repito a frase em mim mesma, entrego meus olhos ao vazio e não tenho mais forças. Pra sempre.

Tiro uma injeção pronta da bolsa, procuro uma veia num dos braços e sem pensar enfio e pressiono deixando o conteúdo estourar meu sangue por dentro das veias com uma enorme sensação de que estou sumindo: meus membros, meu corpo, meus olhos saltando e esse vapor de esquecimento me deixa apagada…

me entrego a dor pra jamais sentir ela novamente.

Não vou chorar. Nunca mais.

It’s like i can only feel when what im watching’s not real

-Drop by drop-

To feel numb is a familiar home I’ve accommodated with.I keep twisting words, hoping it would lead me to a solution,yet I find no escape from within.

It slowly sinks inside me,knotting me up and dragging me down,burying me alive under my thoughts.

It unravels me inch by inch exposing my soul to this burning heat of numbness.With this numbness, focusing becomes a blurandmy mind wanders a million…

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people don’t care as much as they say they do

I feel so disconnected from myself lately

How do you prepare for a goodbye?
How do you undo the knot in your throat
Long enough to break the silence?
Can you hear the echo of my thoughts?

How do you prepare for one last embrace?
To press against the bones
you used to call home?
To taste the lips
you thought would hold forever?

How do you craft a departing handshake?
To interlock all your yesterdays
One last time?

Do we taste the regret of painted skies,
As the night’s tears rain down around us?
Did we fail the moon?
Were we not beautiful enough?

Will time remember our story?
Will tomorrow come before we are ready?

Watch “Brit Floyd (Tribute - Live) - Comfortably numb …” on YouTube

Not quite but soon…

Cant wait to see them again…fuckin covid😒

logically I know I need to feel

feeling is healthier than being numb

But numb doesn’t ache like this

Devoid of comfort in my own thoughts

Endlessly searching for some relief

Pain is an old friend forming the clots

Replacing the contents of my belief

I’m broken to numbness without a cure

Venting the emptiness lost in my face

Everything tried is a failure for sure

Destiny’s left me in my own bitter taste

.

i just wanna feel again….

Originally posted by starvingfire

yo is it self harm if I do it because I want to while not feeling sad?

Hear me out

Numb by Linkin Park fits Dean so well. Like “tired of being what you want me to be”, “put under the pressure of walking in your shoes”, “every step that I take is another mistake to you”, “all I want to do is be more like me and be less like you” and so many more lyrics but I can’t quote the whole song here, it just. John’s expectations for Dean and how he raised him like a second image of himself and now Dean has doubts and wants to break out of that image his father made him but he can’t quite because he’s still haunted and-

So anyway, Numb is written about Dean confirmed