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You see, the acting-out, the yelling, the screaming and even the hitting, all that a person does, serves as a defence against the experience of the anger. It’s a defence against keeping the anger inside where it can be deeply felt. Discharge defends against anger being actually experienced.
Gabor Maté, When The Body Says No
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How do you turn off feelings?
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Had another thought that took over my brain for a while.
Having the strongest numbing cream covering my pussy, ass, and even internally.
We take our drugs and slowly feel the effects. U decide to play with me for some entertainment. U know u have a good two hours to abuse my pussy. All while the drugs make me leak more than normal. Feeling the residual effects and pains hours later, when i get feeling back. Then having my now aching clit completely ignored. Fuck
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We learn only how to numb the pain in a thousand different ways instead of facing it head on. The only way to heal is to walk through it.
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I've seen some people get angry at the concept of "compassion fatigue" and I know anger is a normal human response to repeated injustice but unfortunately, so is numbing.
I've struggled with numbing my whole life, and although it's not a healthy place to stay, it's a common human coping mechanism.
If you're experiencing numbness and apathy right now, just know that doesn't make you a bad person. It is, however a signal that you need to learn how to regulate your emotions and unblock them.
It's not a moral thing, it's a trauma thing. Anger isn't inherently more moral than sadness or numbness
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i would much rather be alone and feel lonely than feel lonely in a large group of friends
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🖤💚
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There’s something so satisfying about watching the skin tear, and for a moment it’s white- pink… then the blood comes erupting out like a volcanic explosion. It’s in those moments, I feel at peace. I have control over something.

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Original Numbing Spell
Rx:
I am numb
I don’t hear you
I’m oblivious and naive to all u do
Nothing you do is true
I am above and invisible to u
You! Bend the knee and submit to my ways
The memory is gone
No more remembering those days
You disappear and dissipate cannot be seen to the naked eye
your existence is now a fable and a lie
So be it it is done
❌❌❌
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Smoked one of my lucky cigs down to the filter, been saving it for a night like this. Not expecting anything significant to happen but maybe my superstition regarding analog cancer sticks flipped filter down in the pack will pay off in some shape or form
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Truth Telling
White women have desired
to date my heart, but not my skin
or its body. In them, I have sought escape
from the very rejection they render most politely.
The irony of this awareness is acerbic.
Soberly, I am gripping my heart,
realizing I have showered grace upon
the most unworthy entities.
I am left with the task of deploying kindness
unto myself for the confusion of such
maladaptive coping mechanisms;
And the masked pain that multiplies.
I look forward to meeting you on the other side.
I will walk with you the whole way through.
But I will tell no lies. And this, you must come
to accept if you truly desire the love you seek.
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