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barbarianbookhoe · 8 months

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Chapter 3

A/N: here comes one of my fave Kanej scene!! (tho a bit changed but nvm) This became longer than I wanted, apologies if it feels too much!

(Btw i rewatched the series recently and my god was he hot doing this)

"You want us to do what?" Jesper asked and stopped fidgeting with his revolver. Y/N gave them back to him aftter Kaz told (almost) everything about his plan. But as expected, they had some reluctance towards some details.

"Do you have a better idea on how to get into a prison?" Kaz raised his brows, waiting for an answer, then nodded. "Thought so. As I said-"

"You intentionally want us to be prisoners? Get put behind bars, not to mention, that we'll have absolutely no weapons with us," Nina interrupted him. Kaz turned to her with an annoyed expression. "That is what I just told you, didn't I?" Everyone shifted in their seat uncomfortably, except Y/n. Her mind was already running with thoughts about Kaz's reason behind the idea.

"That's what I'm here for, isn't it?" She asked and they turned to her as she continued. "No one's going to expect criminals to willingly go into prison, that's why it's the perfect disguise. While the six of you are inside, I can shapeshift and easily get in and out, bringing you your weapons. I can change into anyone or anything, which means I can even change into a guard to make it less suspicious." It's a brilliant idea, she thought to herself but didn't say it out loud. Ghezen forbid she makes Kaz's ego grow bigger, if that was possible.

"And once we find Yul-Bayur, the two of you will change place until we get him out, saving time for us." Kaz told them and Y/N let out a small hum, as if she was agreeing with Kaz's explanation. "It'll work as long as no one tries to speak in Shu to me," Y/N said then quickly added, "or Fjerdan."

"According to my timing, no one's going to suspect a thing until we give you the signal and you leave," Kaz told her while Jesper slightly shook his head. "Don't want to offend you Y/N, I totally believe that you can do that, but umm," he hesitated for a moment before continuing, "how sure can we be that this will work? I mean, won't it be suspicious that while we're dragging him through the crowd, another one of him casually stirs potions in his laboratory?"

"I aggree with Jesper," Inej said and Kaz looked at her annyoed. "You too now?"

"Look Kaz, it's not that we don't trust you-" "I definitely don't trust him," Matthias mumbled while Inej spoke. "It's just that this really seems like a crazy idea. At least tell us you have a backup plan, if someone notices us," she pleaded with him but Kaz just stared at them with a blank face, seemingly in thought. His silence made both Jesper and Y/N worried. "You do have a backup plan?" Jesper asked, and Y/N quickly followed.

"Tell us you have a backup plan," Y/N asked with wide eyes and when Kaz finally looked at them he rolled his eyes. "Of course, I'm not an idiot. I have backup plans for backup plans,"

"That didn't sound so convincing," Y/N let out a sigh and Jesper did the same.

"I already figured it out. There's a few things that needs more details, but otherwise I have a solid plan," Kaz told them, and this time they found his words convincing enough not to doubt him furthermore.

After assigning each of them a task and telling them to meet at Fifth Harbor in two hours, Kaz dismisses the Crows.Y/N hugs Inej and Jesper on their way out, telling them to be careful, and slipping a newly made knife onto Inej's belt. When Nina walks past her to the door, she slightly turns towards the shapeshifter, as if telling her a secret.

"I don't know what's going on between you and Brekker, but I'm glad you're joining us," she told her honestly and it made Y/N's heart skip a beat. She was sure the heartrender sensed it by the smirk on her face.

"What do you mean by that?" She asked as nonchalantly as she could, but the grin on Nina's face told her she couldn't deceive her. "Whenever you speak his heart beats slower, like your voice is a drug and he just got injected with it. Makes him more calm, that's all. Also, green suits you," Nina winked and pointed at her leather vest under her apron. Y/N gave her a small smile in return, and watched as everyone left her apartment, even Kaz.

She didn't stop him when he went out the door, instead keeping her promise to him and acting like they were nothing else besides old colleagues. Oh but they were much more than that.

Even the word lovers were too much of an understatement for what they were to each other. In her head, Y/N called Kaz many things throughout the years: a colleague, an annoying friend, an asshole, a best friend, a partner in crime, a pain in the ass, her other half. One thing she knew for sure was that no matter how much of a liar and spiteful man he was, whatever promise Kaz made to her, he always made sure to keep it somehow.

I promise I'll give you a new knife.

He stole the one a Dime Lion threw at his head.

I promise I won't tell you drank it.

He created a fake alibi for her.

I promise I won't steal your pancakes again.

He stole the waffles instead.

I promise I'll be willing to try.

He could give her kisses on her skin now. He could take off his gloves and hold her hand for almost fifteen minutes. He could hug her, hold her, kiss her cheek almost without trouble.

He even tried kissing her a few weeks ago, trying to surprise her, but it didn't went well. They still did the things they accomplished in the last two years, but he didn't try kissing her again. Y/N didn't mind it for one minute, because this slow pace wasn't just because of Kaz. She had her fare share with fear of skin on skin contact. If the burn marks on her neck weren't any indicators, then her avoidance of close touches certaintly was.

She could deal with her aversion far better than Kaz, due to her nephew who sometimes clinged to her like there was no tomorrow. Not to mention that she used to work as a waitress in the Crow Club for a few months, before accepting the job as a gunsmith's assisstant. Though sometimes when she got back into her apartment, she felt like just standing in the middle of the room, not wanting to touch any material or fabric. These times even the soft and warm cushions of her own bed made her feel nauseaous. Especially the warmth that mattress could radiate, despite the fact that she always kept her bedroom rather chilly, even in the winter.

Y/N walked down to the workshop and took off her belt, that kept some of her tools on her hip. She also took the dirty apron off and tossed it on the anvil. She glanced around the workshop, wondering how many weapons should she bring with her. She though about the ones she's going to use, the ones for backup, and the ones the others will have to use in the Ice Court. She walked over to the shelves next to the fireplace and grabbed two belts. One for her and one for Inej, once they're inside the prison. She also grabbed gun hoisters, just in case, and put the four items on an empty table. She grabbed a few knives and two revolvers, along with three packs of bullets, so at least four dozen bullets. She began searching for the bag she used for delivering weapons to the Dregs, and she found it amongst the multiple boxes at the back of the room. She carefully placed the guns and the gun hoisters inside, then filled it with the knives and the packs of bullets. She threw the belt for Inej on top of everything and closed the bag. She also put the other belt on her waist, secured it, and filled it with knives, along with her leather vest. Her fingers grazed the edge of the vest, remembering her 16th birthday, when her brother convinced Inej to get Y/N a similar vest to hers

"I hate that you keep weapons on yourself at all times, but you might as well do it with some style."

Y/N smiled at the memory as she grabbed the bag and made her way upstairs.

Just as she was about to close the door, she heard the sound of a cane clicking on the stairs. She left the door slightly ajar, as she went into the kitchen and put the bag on the table. She grabbed another glass from the cabinet along with hers, and poured some kvas into both. She didn't turn around, even when the footsteps stopped and she could feel Kaz's presence directly behind her.

"Do you think you'll be able to pull it off?" He asked as Y/N turned around with both glasses in her hands. She gave one of them to him, as she answered. "If you think I can, then I think so too," she took a sip from her glass and watched Kaz quirk his eyebrow at her. "And why would I think that?" He asked rather playfully. "You wouldn't have offered me a place, if you thought otherwise," Y/N shrugged her shoulders and let the smug look take over her face. Kaz rolled his eyes, but Y/N could see the smile he was hiding in his features. "Your smugness is something I definitely didn't miss in the last few days," he downed the remaints of his drink and stepped closer to put his glass on the table. Right next to Y/N's hip.

"That indicates you missed me in the first place," she said quietly and really hoped her voice didn't waver as Kaz leaned closer to her. She could almost feel his breath on her face as he spoke. "Don't be so full of yourself," he whispered back gently, as he tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear, then letting his hand linger on her cheek. It made Y/N's heart melt the first time he did it, and it certaintly melted for the hundredth time too. She gave him a soft smile. "I missed you too,"

Later at Fifth Harbor

Kaz and Y/N parted ways after closing the workshop, to meet the others. Y/N went on a longer route to eliminate anyone that might be following them. The bag felt heavier in her hands, since Kaz insisted on her bringing some first aid items, just in case.

"We won't need at least half of these," Y/N argued with him, and he gave her a frustrated glance. "Is it so evil of me to try keeping you unharmed?"

As Y/N reached the harbor she noticed five figures near the ship that was taking them to Fjerda, and when she heard the footsteps behind her, she let out a smile. "How is your new knife?"

"It's beautiful. I really like it," Inej said from next to her and they began walking over to their group. "I knew the royal blue grip would suit you," Y/N winked at her and Inej softly smiled. "I've been thinking, and I'd like to ask you a question. Is it because of your shapeshifting ability, that you always knew when I was near? I always found it strange that you could notice my presence, when no one else did."

"When I turn back into human, I can still use some traits of animals. Sometimes it's only for a few hours, sometimes it's for days. Depends on the strength of the animal. Excellent hearing is one of them," Y/N told Inej and she listened to her with curiousity. She always liked to learn about new things, and Y/N was more than happy to give her answers.

The two of them came to a stop in front of the group, when all of a sudden the ship in front of them blew up. They all ducked down to not get hit by the wood and glass shards that erupted from the end of the dock.

"That was our ship!" Jesper shouted as Inej and Y/N were already scanning their surroundings. Kaz stood up straight and began limping away, signaling for them to follow him. "That was only a decoy. I counted on something like this happening,"

"Of fucking course you were," Y/N mumbled as she followed him along with the others. Kaz lead them to the real boat, the Ferolind, when someone began shooting at them. The bullets came from more than one direction, which ment the ambush was planned.

Jesper grabbed his revolvers and began shooting back, while diving behind one of the shipping crates, Nina and Matthias following him. Kaz and Wylan wasn't too far from them, throwing bombs at the attackers. Y/N and Inej were hiding in the shadows, trying to see who the attackers were.

"Shit, I need to get rid of this bag," Y/N whispered to herself, before tugging on Inej's coat. "I'll try to pass the bag to the others. Go around from the left, I'll take the right side. Maybe we can attack them from behind," she said and Inej nodded, disappearing among the crates.

Y/N took a glance around the dock and when she saw Jesper behind one of the crates, she slowly began to make her way towards him, but in the last few meters she just ran. She hopped down next to him and pushed the bag into Nina's hands. "There's at least a dozen knives in there, so be careful," Y/N told her and immediately went back to where she came from.

She couldn't see well in the dark, so she duck behind a crate and turned into a black cat. She ran the way where Inej went and she saw her fighting with a man, badly losing. Y/N sprinted towards them and just as she changed back into human, ready to kill the person, she saw him bleeding on the ground, Inej nowhere to be seen. She glanced around frantically searching for Inej, and when she saw her climbing the pyramid of shipping crates she gently grabbed her ankle. Inej tried to kick her and as Y/N saw the girl pointing the knife at herself, ready to avoid capture, she quickly reassured her.

"Inej! It's me!" She exclaimed and saw Inej stop as she took a better look at Y/N. "Are you hurt?" She asked but when she saw dark liquid staining Inej's side, her face fall. "Saints. Come on, I'll get you to the boat!" Y/N said and grabbed the girl's arm and put it around her shoulders. Then she tried to get Inej to her feet as gently as she could, but she still groaned in pain. "Sorry, sorry," Y/N apologized quietly. She quickly got the girl to the dock, before she felt a sharp pain piercing through her shoulder, making her drop Inej as she lost her balance. She managed to let out a scream before she felt the dark waves crash above her head.

The others were already on the deck, ready to help the two girls on the boat when they saw what happened. Nina and Jesper ran towards Inej, meanwhile Kaz stood there frozen, watching the dark water that took Y/N. He could faintly hear Jesper asking Nina if she hears Y/N's heartbeat, and the girl saying yes. He also saw a Black Tip, Oomen, jumping right after Y/N with a rope in his hands. Jesper stepped on deck with Inej in his arms, and Nina by his side giving him orders and Kaz watched as they disappear.

Just when he looked back at the water, Y/N came to the surface, tossing around to get Oomen off her back as he tried to strangle her with the rope. She went underwater again, and the next time she came up she began frantically swimming towards the boat. When she saw that Kaz was about to jump after her, she yelled at him as loud as she could. "Go! Start the boat!" Then she let out a groan as Oomen behind her grabbed her again. "GO, I'LL FIND YOU!" She shouted before he pulled her underwater again.

Kaz knew it was the logical choice to start their journey, before the Ferolind got blown up too, but Y/N's scream was the only thing currently echoing in his mind. He didn't hear Nina and Jesper arguing while trying to keep Inej alive, nor Specht walking over to him.

"Start the boat as quick as you can," Kaz said harshly to Specht as he walked over to a scared Wylan. "Do we have any flash bombs left?" He demanded and the boy pulled the bag off his shoulders and handed Kaz three small bombs. "What are you going to do?" Wylan asked as he held the bag close to his chest. Kaz contemplated just leaving him there without an answer, but in the moment he was too frustrated and angry to care about the image he held. "Save a friend," he told Wylan and for a brief second saw the surprised faces of Matthias and Jesper. Kaz hurried to the side of the boat and threw the three bombs as close to the crates as he could, imitating the explosion of an actual bomb. Kaz was sure the rest of the attackers didn't stay in the harbor long after that.

As they left the harbor, Kaz kept his eyes on the waves below them, even as Jesper told him that Inej was fine, and Nina was currently stitching her up. Everytime Kaz thought he saw Y/N resurface in the water his heart lept from him. And everytime he realized it was just his mind playing tricks on him, his heart stopped in disappointment.

"Where's Y/N?" Jesper asked suddenly. "Is she okay? Did she stay behind?" He didn't got an answer and Jesper was about to walk away from Kaz, when he finally spoke up on a quiet voice. "She got attacked. It's nothing she can't handle though," he sensed Jesper's shock and subtly looked at the side of his face. "What is it Jesper?" The sharpshooter just shook his head, the shock turning into worry as he spoke. "Are you not worried about her? Not even a little bit?" "Not particularly. She can take care of herself," Kaz responded quickly, and tightened the grip on his cane. "But isn't the two of you old...acquaintances?" Jesper asked, slightly confused at the word. He suspected there was more between the two than being colleagues, but Jesper also suspected if he ever told this to Kaz he'd skin him alive. Kaz looked at him with a blank face, before turning back to the sea. "Tell Wylan and Matthias to work on the map," Jesper sighed disappointedly, but did as Kaz said.

Kaz heard someone cough beneath him, and he was certain his imagination was playing another trick on him, but then he heard a familiar voice. "Anyone there? Please," Her voice was weaker than he would've liked it to be, but it didn't stop Kaz from leaning down to see her better.

Y/N was gripping the side of the boat as hard as she could, with blood stained arms. She could hardly keep her eyes open and Kaz hurried to the ropes on the deck, before abandoning his cane and throwing the rope down for Y/N to grab. "Hold on," Kaz told her, and his voice made Matthias, Wylan and Jesper look at his back as he layed down on his stomach. Y/N grabbed the rope and Kaz immediately started pulling her up, letting out a groan as his bad leg protested against it. He felt the rope slowly slipping from his hands and it made him go faster. Y/N was only a few inches away from him, when all of a sudden Oomen emerged from the water, and grabbed her waist to pull her down.

Without a second thought, Kaz let go of the rope and grabbed Y/N at the back of her jacket which made her groan in pain. The others saw Kaz starting to slip off the boat and ran to him, but when they saw Y/N and the man on her back they shared shocked glances before jumping to action. Kaz told them to pull the man on board too, which made them even more shocked. Jesper grabbed Y/N's jacket and helped Kaz pull her up, while Wylan and Matthias grabbed the other guy and Y/N made sure to kick him in the groin once they were both on board.

She began to curse him in Ravkan, before she started violently shivering from swimming in the cold water. Nina stepped on deck right at this moment, when she went to check on the others. The scene before her left her speechless for a few seconds before worry took over her.

"What the hell is going on here?" She asked and when she saw Y/N shivering in her drenched clothes beside Kaz, she quickly went over to her, but was stopped by a very angry Kaz. "You stay there Heartrender," He growled but Nina had none of it. "Saint sake, the girl will freeze to death if you won't let me help her! Let me warm her up!" She said but it only made Kaz angrier. Y/N shook her head as she spoke.

"No, no fire. I don't want fire," She began frantically breathing but Kaz reassured her with gently rubbing her back.

The movement made them realize that Kaz was still holding the girl, like it was the most normal thing in the world.

"There won't be any fire," He said to Y/N before turning back to Nina. "You can go," His harsh words made Nina even more angry with him. "Damn you Brekker, I was trained for this! I know what she needs! Let me help her!"

"You don't know what she needs!!" He yelled at her and it made everyone go silent. "Oh, and you do?" Nina asked mockingly and Kaz stayed silent. Then to all of their shock and surprise, he took off his coat while still staring at Nina like he was going to murder her. Then he put the coat around Y/N's shaking form as he helped her up from the ground and took her inside a cabin on the boat. The murderous look not once leaving his face.

After they disappeared, Jesper and Wylan got Oomen tied up and sat against the railing of the boat, stuffing his mouth with an old cloth. Jesper walked over to Nina and opened his mouth.

"Nina dear, can you check if my heart is still beating?" He casually asked her which made Nina turn to him with a questioning look. "I thought I'll have to die before I get to witness something like this,"

"Like what?" Nina asked back.

"Kaz Brekker, being affectionate...and protective?" Jesper answered like he didn't believe his own words.

"Did you...notice the tension between them?" Nina asked sheepishly and when she looked at Jesper he was already grinning. "Notice? I'm surprised we didn't catch on fire yet," he chuckled and Nina smirked at him. "Do you think they know about their feelings for the other?"

"Knowing Kaz, I'd say not in a million years," Jesper hesitated for a second and then continued. "And knowing Y/N, I'd say they're already together, but again, knowing Kaz, he'd rather keep it a secret than publicly admit he feels anything besides revenge."

Nina's mouth was slightly agape as she crossed her arms and fully turned to him. "I can't possibly believe he'd ever admit his feelings to anyone. Especially to that gorgeous woman," she said and Jesper smiled at her with a little mischief in his eyes.

"Would you bet on it?" Nina returned the mischievous grin as she answered. "Certainly. What have you got in mind?"

"We bet on their relationship." "Oh, and how much?" Nina asked curiously as he answered. "Dunno. Does 20 kruge sounds good to you?" She nodded her head and Jesper continued. "I bet that they're already together."

"I bet they don't know about each others feelings," Nina replied and Jesper reached his hand out to her and she shook it. "Deal."

The bet made its way to the others, every one of them voting on Nina's words, with Inej being the most definite about it. Even Specht bet on them, being the only one to side with Jesper.

Meanwhile Kaz was having a hard time reasoning with Y/N, for she seemed even more stubborn when she was injured.

#grishaverse #shadow and bone #shadow and bone fanfiction #six of crows #kaz brekker #kaz brekker fanfic #kaz brekker x fem!reader #kaz brekker x reader #nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov x reader

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master-of-fluff · 4 months

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My main genshin team hcs

Fishel and Aether talk alot about the other worlds theyve visited and sometimes theyeve eveb visited the same world (at diff times so theyd never met before 😔)

Xiangling joined because wherever aether is theres probably exotic foods to follow plus he can defeat regisvines and she puts the leaves into everything (probably makes dolmades with them and grape leaves 🤤)

The others hunt and She makes the food

Aether and paimon are the taste tester of any new creation she make

Kaeya is always very closeby when this happens incase it makes them sick and is bombastic side eyeing the dish the entire time

He also secretely dumps any dish made by the others he doesnt like cuz he doesnt wanna be rude and just starves 😭

Kaeya is def the big brother who somehow got roped into babysitting these 3 teenagers, 2 of which can handle themselves just fine and yet they all give him heart attacks

He looks away for one second and aether + fishel are fighting gods and dragon while xiangling is telling them not to damage said gods and draogons too much because they might be edible

But also because of how old aether is chornologically sometimes he says something that is literally so adult he wonder's if the kid's been replaced by a shapeshifter and then the next thing out of aethers mouth is sarcasm or an impression of one of the other knights (sometimes him 😒) and he goes 'nvm'

Xiangling is tyvets equivelent of guy fieri and bobby flay combined

The others r very protectice of xiangling they 100% will swing for her no questions asked

Oz and kaeya be sharing office style looks with eachother at everyones antics 😭

They eat for free at xiangling's dads's restaurant whenever they pass through liyue, he is now their collective Dad/uncle figure

Xiangling and paimon absolutely bully kaeya into getting grape leaves from dawn winary (diluc would probably not mind in the slieghtest if aether just asked but its more fun to make kaeya steal them so aether keeps his mouth shut)

#genshin impact #genshin team #genshin hcs

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the-argo-2-matchmaker · 4 months

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hiiii

i'm piper, she/her, and im the argo 2's matchmaker :D im also the only sane one but nvm that

people call my dad hot. shut up.

my friends:

Jason: @the-best-superman-on-olympus - my amazing bf loml

Leo: @team-leoo - my other bff that i like to mess with (shorty)

Annabeth: @annabeth-is-a-wise-girl - the smart one and my platonic gf

Percy: @percy-jackson-is-a-seaweed-brain - aquaman

Thalia: @best-dam-huntress - sort of scared of you but hi friend

Hazel: @hazel-the-diamond - YOU'RE LITERALLY SO CUTE HI BESTIE

Nico: @nico-the-ghost-king - little emo boi i wanna squeesh

Will: @sunny-boy-solace - ray of sunshine and the resident flashlight

Luke: @lukemessedup - eheh

Reyna: @bow-down-to-rara - girlboss

Grover: @grover-eats-cans - resident goat

Frank: @the-amazhang-teddybear - the best shapeshifter

Rachel: @thrower-of-hairbrushes-official - threw a hairbrush at kronos. also the oracle.

Calypso: @calypso-daughter-of-atlas - cursed annabeth and used to be trapped on an island lol

Lester: @why-did-i-get-acne - not a god anymore

Coach Hedge: @theonlycoachhedge - "responsible" adult and the other goat

Tyson: @tyson-the-cyclops - best cyclops

Clarisse: @everyone-is-a-punk - can and will beat your ass

Silena: @silena-styles - hi sis!!

Korey: @chbs-feral-gremlin - bane of my existence

and yeah have fun don't die

my main blog is @that-multi-fandom-hijabi

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lokiinmediasideblog · 1 month

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besides immortal thor are there any other comic depiction of loki you despise?

You mean "Ultimate Thor"? I went on a huge rant on that comic run.

I generally despise "Evil from Birth" narratives. Or the "we were right to torture you" kind of punitive justice. So that would be most of the Thor comics.The thing is, I don't think I hate comics!Loki, I like comics!Loki out of spite. Because the writers didn't want me to like him, but the narrative gave me bad vibes.

CW: Transphobic dogwhistles

I'm torn on Lady Loki because I find Loki interesting during that run (I love the interactions with Dr. Doom) and therefore don't hate them, but I FUCKING HATE that they wrote Loki stealing Sif's body. I hate how it's "justified" by dudebros and pseudo-feminists with "it's an allegory for rape" as if there hadn't been any rape in Thor comics before. The whole body thief thing is actually a transphobic dogwhistle in the same way that Silence of the Lamb's Buffalo Bill was: "A man wearing a woman's body/skin to seduce and manipulate other men." Can we get that retconned into Loki just shapeshifting rather than stealing Sif's body?

NVM, I KNOW WHICH RUN/DEPICTION I FUCKING HATE AS MUCH AS ULTIMATE THOR! It's Thor: Son of Asgard!!

CW: Sexual assault, magical roofies, Karnilla being a pedo, Loki being a creep, Amora and Sif also being creeps

I hate when Loki's written as "the creepy nerd lusting over the popular hot girl" (comics!Sif) or abusive/rapey husband (comics!Sigyn). Which is a bunch of comic runs. Like so:

I think the writing on "Son of Asgard" is terrible/cheesy(they have a chapter called "The Warriors Teen" *eyeroll*) and it's full of rapey plots. Loki is rapey (with Sif and colludes with Amora). Amora is rapey (with Thor). Karnilla is rapey (with Loki). Even Sif is rapey! (with Thor).

The plot is stupid. They go on some mindless quests as glorified poachers because Odin told them to do so, and relish in torturing and killing a poor dragon that was just minding its own business, among other things. Sif and Balder whine about Thor not giving them a say on agreeing to the quest despite following him over there. Fucking jackasses. Meanwhile Loki is doing stupid magic bullshit to impede on their quest from afar, justifying Sif's suspicions and hatred of Loki that would otherwise seem unjustified and ridiculous. IDK I hate when they justify over-the-top suspicion of "Loki told the dragon where we were" rather than "We were actively seeking the dragon for its scales because we're poachers." It's also used to justify over-the-top punishments for Loki with evil monologues and thought bubbles or lazily written magic bullshit. It also makes Asgard seem incredibly incompetent and stupid.

My thoughts exactly, Thor:

I also dislike how Sif is written. She's "masculine" but in the ways cishet men would find "hot". A scantily clad warrior with the supermodel physique constantly contorting in weird ways. Her personality revolves around her obsession with Thor and her suspicion/hatred of Loki. It's a crime to write a warrior woman so heterosexually. They made her go off about how she wishes to be gifted with a JEWEL from the shitty sand place. So, they all get swallowed by the sand (and Loki too because he was a dumbass and materialized in the location). They escape by not feeling anything because there's weird baby crystal things that seek emotions. Loki is captured by Karnilla restrained by a bunch of creepy hands in creepy places, and Karnilla kisses a teenage Loki. Loki absorbs her magic through the kiss and escapes.

Loki refuses to help Karnilla out of love for Odin. I'll admit this is kinda cute and can't believe they actually gave him a redeemable trait:

Thor just won't give up on those damned quests. It's ridiculous! Priorities!

Ridiculously, Karnilla antagonizes Thor by turning a whole lake into sand. An adult woman beefing with a bunch of teen poachers. He takes some sand from the lake and goes back to Asgard to find it under attack. Thor and co save the day, only for Thor to be shot with an arrow by Karnilla. Karnilla and Odin fight. Odin takes pity on her and spares her. Thor is saved by "the power of love" aka Sif's tears.

Karnilla takes Loki hostage:

Balder tries to sacrifice himself for Loki. Karnilla is conveniently weirded out by such a selfless act and vanishes. Odin makes a sword out of the shit they got from the quests, and hands it over to Balder for his brave sacrifice.

Frigga damn... "only son"...

Volstagg is sexist to Sif and Sif is fatphobic to Volstagg... damn these comics have a fatphobia problem among other things...

Sif beats his ass. Then challenges Thor who pulls her by the hair and wins (for a warrior, Sif is dressed in very inconvenient ways). Everyone is like "yes Thor, you beat the ONE GIRL" and Sif gets angry and broods.

We cut to Loki's schemes and hate of Sif:

My thoughts exactly, Amora. The cishet writers fumbled on writing these two (Sif and Loki). They should have been GNC queer besties.

When people tell me Loki was not queer-coded before the whole bodytheft subplot:

Amora and Loki plot against Sif because Amora wants Thor for herself and Loki wants Thor out of the way. Thor attempts to console Sif. They're about to kiss when Amora interrupts them, calls Sif a slut, and Sif bitchslaps her.

Thor breaks up the fight and tells Sif there was no need to bitchslap Amora. Sif gets angry and leaves. The next day, there's a new female student in the warrior training class, Brunhilde. Sif remarks that "She had to be blonde." Lol.

They show Sif's backstory as a former blonde. Loki cut her hair out of jealousy that she was in love with Thor. He regretted it and got her replacement hair. However, the hair turned from blonde to black and "marred" her beauty.. Thanks, I hate it and it makes me uncomfortable... Sif is insecure of her black hair and jealous of the other blonde girls at schools.

Brunhilde wonders if Thor has his own special weapon because Balder got one in the previous issue. Thor says not yet, but one day he will when he's worthy. Sif takes offense because she's jealous of Brunhilde and bitchslaps her like she did Amora. A very male-gazey fight ensues, and Sif gets yanked by the hair once again. Sif just cut your damn hair. Sif gets in trouble for starting shit and gets told to use the facilities at the sorcery school to keep them from fighting again. Amora shows up and plays with Sif's insecurities, but seriously, she has a point in Sif resorting to violence way too often and easily. And I am being made uncomfortable by "dark hair and deeper tan on a woman=masculine" in this comic.

Sif and Loki conspire to magically roofie Thor with a magic mirror.

Sif gets the mirror.

Amora petrifies Sif (so that she watches), and steals the magic mirror from her, using it to make Thor fall in love with her. Loki very creepily frees Sif from her spell and confesses she wanted to see Sif's heart broken because he hates how Sif can "See through him." I thought he was going to do much worse because it looks bad, the way he holds Sif, when I first read this.

Sif goes straight to attacking Amora in a male gazey fight again, and Thor breaks up the fight and shames her for starting shit so often. Brunhilde finds the bag that held the mirror, and asks Sif about it. Sif confesses she wanted to use the mirror on Thor because she was jealous of Brumhilde.

Loki and Amora can't return the mirror without the pouch. Loki is about to be like "Lol nothing ties me to this crime." But Brunhilde and Sif catch them and tell them they have the bag. They say they'll give them the bag if they revert the spell. Brunhilde breaks the mirror, Thor is no longer under the spell and is hurt because he expected that from Amora but not from Sif. Frigga tells Sif that the mirror doesn't count and Thor still has his kiss virginity intact. Sif apologizes to Thor and they kiss.

Then Thor's trying to lift Mjolnir, and lifts it a little off the ground. Thor goes see the Norns to see what stands between his faith. I don't get it. Comes back to Asgard under attack and Sif being kidnapped by Storm Giants. Thor lifts the hammer with the power of love and goes to rescue Sif.

The cover for the next issue makes Thor look like an anime boy:

Thor collapses a bridge some giants were on, and they fall. He yeets himself with the hammer into the castle.

Thor kills a bunch of giants, and the comic makes a callback to Sif's introduction where Thor saves her from Hela. Here, the giant struck a bargain with Hela to gain immortality, exchanging Sif for it.

He finds Hela, who is pissed Thor's escaped from her grasp before.

This reminds me of Thor Ragnarok:

Hela may not be Odin's daughter here, but this has Thor Ragnarok vibes:

This echoes Sif's first appearance where Thor offers his own life in exchange for hers.

Hela warns Thor that they'll meet again. Sif and Thor kiss and fly away.

Lol. I am such a hater I ended up prioritizing this ask over other posts.

#marvel comics #thor comics #thor: son of asgard #rant #comics!loki #comics!sif #comics!amora #comics!karnilla #comics!thor #comics!balder #comics!hela #LokiBookClub #anon asks

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gddancefloor · 27 days

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(wow OC lore dump I came up with at 2am!!! this is for my persona named twotwo btw)

You know, I find it funny that I have a shapeshifter persona, whose whole gimmick was about changing and loving to be something different every chance that he got, but only just now he's questioning it. He doesn't like change.

"I DON'T WANT TO CHANGE!"

Imagine being created to live your life for thousands of years only meaninglessly leeching off of people's energy after you copy their form and startle them, and feeling like all you were good for was to be an energy vampire for all of eternity. Seems painful enough, doesn't it? You have to see all the variety that humans can live and enjoy, but the only variety you have isn't even yourself. You're always taking on the form of what isn't you. But, because it's what you're "made" to do, you love it, right? (more under the cut)

When you finally meet someone who makes a difference in your life, and you feel like you no longer have to take on so many false forms — you finally feel like you've met a fellow "monster" in your life that saved you from the redundancy, you fall in love with them and cling to them like you've never had to before.

"But, nobody cares about what I want. Nobody cares at all. That's why I exist."

Then... that companion wants to change. Then they want to "spread their wings" and discover themselves, leaving you stuck, where your ability to adapt to change is strongly hindered. They stayed the same for so long, allowing you to as well, and then out of nowhere, who are they?

That's the situational irony. A shapeshifter demon who can't stand the concept of change, because for his entire life, that's all he had to do, and now, the only time he didn't need to change — the only time he could be himself for as long as he wanted to — is no longer there.

How does he cope with it?

====

(WELL YALL THATS WHAT I GOT... Basically, the struggle to cope with change is common in people with autism, and because it's something I deal with, I liked to portray my persona who's *expected* to like change struggle with it, because that's what I relate to. This is probably my first time talking about my OC anyway, so keep an eye out for if I post anything else about him. Maybe he'll get a tag, who knows. NVM he gets a tag, it's #♠️— Black and White Blurred Lines! (TwoTwo). We win.)

#♠️— Black and White Blurred Lines! (TwoTwo)#oc info #oc lore #oc #oc writing #angst

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purpleandstarlight · 5 months

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@hateweasel

-[Beginning of the Shapeshifter Arc]

Me: I think my dude Travis found a love interest 😏

Me: NVM I THINK SHE'S ABOUT TO DIE

Me: Okay she survived...bro i almost shat myself frfr...she's so nice I want her to be okay...

Me, misreading the scene of the shapeshifter looking like Patricia getting up after being hit by his car: ...nvm she did die

My friend: WHAT AN EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER!

-The shapeshifter going trough Alois and Ciel's forms genuinely was a nightmare fuel for me. I spent the whole chapter afraid that Alois or Ciel would become lovely dovely with the shapeshifter and even If it didn't make any sense and the shapeshifter was the one who died, I was still anxious for a while after that...even rereading these messages is upsetting me why am I like this 😭

-Me: So Dan decided to let his relationship with Ana fade out instead of approaching her and stating it clearly

My friend: Dan, what are you doing?! I'm starting to fear for the ship...Their relationship seems to be in stall and I keep thinking about that art you talked about of Dan with someone else...sad.

-Me: It's Ciel's birthday

My friend: New date with exploding cars on the horizon?

-Me: Dan auto-invited himself to Ciel's house to make a birthday party...Ciel dislikes parties...and his birthday...

My friend: Dan please stop making things worse you're already messing up in other areas

-Me: Anastasia is in danger!!

My friend, still on her "She's known she and Dan weren't together for a long while already" joke: Nooo Anastasia! Just as she was about to have a child with her husband...

-Me, kinda misunderstanding things: An angel was the villain of this arc!! And you know who it was??? LIZZIE!!

My friend: WHAAT

Me: Oh okay no, she's not the villain. She's an ally of ours...she just cut off Sebastian's head

My friend: Fair- WAIT WHAT?!

-Me after Alois was kidnapped and mentally controlled by the bad guys of that arc: Can't we go back to when they just did random shit like a fashion show for Warwick Academy?? 😭 Actually can't we just to back to Warwick Academy in general? I miss it.

-Me calling Baldassare's death right from this arc because in the list of memes you wrote "Baldassare :(" The sad face was a dead give away (Pun intended)

-My friend after I told her about this: Wasn't he a bad guy?

Me: Oh, no! He's homophobic and he gets mad really quickly, but he's not a total asshole. He has morals.

My friend: WELL...look at it this way...its a death we can accept. Better him than Sister Dorothy.

#DLTD Thoughts

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circus-k · 2 years

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Do you have any headcanons for Lah?

Or some for sonlah

yessssssssss [evil]

lah owns a bunch of different cameras, most being stolen from some unfortunate visitors [her photos are marked with a heart!]

she's tried scaring before but she always gets caught up and starts giggling just like... ohh i'm gonna be scaryyy hehehehee and then she forgets to scare whoever walked in

she 100% calls sonic a bunch of wolf-based nicknames, at the beginning it was 'cause she never bothered to remember his actual name but as they got closer and became friends [[and more teehee]] they became really endearing

in response sonic tries to come up with little ghost nicknames too! he's significantly worse at it!!

after the events of unleashed sonic would "accidentally" stumble upon the haunted mansion during his runs and.. haha might as well say hi. and yk he just sorta messes with the ghosts and stuff he's only there to be a problem, but the more he visits his pestering just sorta turns into. hanging out and yeah him and lah kinda become friends and even su and uh warm up to him

he shows them any ghost song he can find he thinks he's so funny about it, this includes mario boo level music but not even two whole seconds get to play before he decides yk what nvm this sucks i got a better song to show y'all bbgs

lah and sonic are 🤝 on like. starting drama just 'cause they're bored and shit. they'll just say the most obviously incorrect shit and even if everyone around them KNOWS they don't mean it it's still infuriating ["sweet gaia the sun isn't a fucking planet-" "oh yeah??? then how else do you explain the moon being square?" "THE MOON ISNT SQUARE"]

i think someone somewhere had this hc that the ghosts' names were like. the first syllable or something of their names when they were alive and. seems pretty cool i think - i feel like lah's would be larabelle or some shit

since lah can shapeshift i feel like she'd use it to like. be funny or cheer people up yk? like if sonic's upset she'll just say/do the stupidest shit but like. as one of his dark edgy serious rivals grrrr until he starts laughing and is in a better mood

and on shapeshifting; she can pretty much change into anything with the only real limitation being the heart and pinkish-purple hue, but that also means that she has to remember everything about the person otherwise she might forget things and it'll be a dead giveaway that, yup, this ain't whoever it may look like

sonic took one look at lah and just. pretty ghost? "i could fix her"

lah has sharp teeth because i say so, she deserves them

they make up the worst excuses to like,, hold hands and stuff but they're so nonsensical it's so obvious but no one says anything about it since they'll just. make a bunch more stupid lame excuses

i don't want this to get too long so i'll stop here, feel free to check out this playlist that's just. absolutely grasping at straws

#ask #i love these losers a lot thank you #hc #sth #night of the werehog #lah the ghost #sonlah

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thecrowslullaby · 3 years

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hair

masterpost

@ray-does-stuff @dante1138 @bloodyjay-0666

#(cast a)side #(cast a)side au #janus sanders #virgil sander #patton sanders #sanders sides #you thought the long hair was just for astetics didn't you?#wrong #tbh everythime i see janus with long hair my mind imediatly jumps to this conclusion #that Patton is the 'parent' friend and as a parent he would love to cut the others hair #but since Janus going over the the dark side #Patton was no longer there to do it #and even though Janus is hurt #it still felt like a betreyal to have anyone else cut his hair #so he just stopped doing that #nvm that they can shapeshift #I promise I'm done with the Angst in this au for the next five updates at least #Maybe more #Gotta take a break from some angst here #Because it's probably gonna go down in the murder mystery au #No one is gonna have a good time there #Maybe beside the murderer #But also not for too long

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gogogyarchive · 3 years

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just needed you to know that i woke up from a nap where i had a dream that george streamed and was being super sus and then someone pulled down his greenscreen and it was not dream, but someone named rahim. and then onscreen rahim showed a video call of dream wherein which he looked exactly like that dude fred from youtube / that one icarly episode. and i believed it. and woke up very confused about why rahim and fred!dream weren’t trending

????? ANON??? FGDHSDGFDHFG

#I MEAN #we cant 100% say that fred ISNT dream......... thats all im sayin....#anon this was like a slap to the face that just left me so incredibly confused and i love you for it #i need to have dreams like this wth #also i have totally had dreams like that where i had to google something because i was SO sure the internet would be talking about it #which is #always hilarious #asks #anon this is amazing thank you for sharing #w #what if #dream is just a walking green screen #and can make himself look like anyone he wants.... like a shapeshifter #......#NVM GUYS joy just told me that shes the one who sent this fghjdfhg so im going to expose her and her weird ass dreams #joy tag #joy-light

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sheblah · 4 years

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UGH I'M STILL SALTY SORRY

They weren't even mentioned. They turned the Princess Alliance/Horde war on its head twice. They worked directly with Catra, one of the most vital characters in the show, for what seemed like months. They were the closest thing she had to a friend for most of the season. Then they worked directly with Glimmer, another vital character, after that. They watched and analyzed all the heroes while undercover and still carry that dangerous information with them. They gave a speech that made Catra question everything she'd done for the past four seasons, and simultaneously hurt her so badly she didn't even put up a fight when Glimmer came after her. They made Hordak cry.

And nobody even mentioned them.

WHAT.

#negativity #sorry sorry #still salty #i know im annoying bUT SO WAS THE ABSENCE OF DT THIS SEASON WTF #s4: this is your nb rep. they are Big. they are Fun. they can Shapeshift and Ruin Lives. everyone will feel the impact of their actions.#s5: NVM THEY WEREN'T IMPORTANT LOL #double trouble #spop s5 #s5 spoilers #spop spoilers #rant

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futurefind · 2 years

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Lounges against a lion statue. Then turns to its face and curls her lip back and prods a fang with her tongue, squinting at the stony figure and guessing how its own teeth compare.

Then, seemingly content, nods to herself and resumes using it as a prop.

Yep. Still got it.

#open //#open // mara #v: genshin #sometimes u just have a catgirl with a size complex This Is Fine #(nvm the fact she can literally shapeshift lmfaooooooo)

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dreamiehrs · 4 years

Note

That kid is a fucking dragon

ASHDASHJDASJDJA I can see it

#ask #enchantedyeo #answered #so tell me how are han and y/n supposed to converse if he's a fucking dragon #wait nvm I can just make him a shapeshifter

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rsbry-beret · 2 years

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watching vox machina for the first time!!

SPOILERS BELOW. SO MANY. FOR ALL THE EPISODES IN SEASON 1

telling apart vax and vex is gonna SUCK

liam obrian my beloved

they’re so stupid this mean council guy is OBVI a dragon who can shapeshifte,, these fools

the king is a dilf

awwww vax with kids

AWWWW THE KIDS ARE DEAD UH

gnc barkeep nice

this show is rly gross like. barf blood ew

THSI INTRO SLAPS

thought fince the dragon was just trying to drive down real estate prices until he mentioned bargaining w gold

TUSK LOVE in gilmore’s shop omg

WAIT THE SCOTTISH GUYS THE DRAGON WHATTTTT NOT THE RAISIN GUY ???

why is there a troll dick

this sad victorian stage coach??? apparently his name is DESMOND which. yeah.

omg vampire nevromancer power couple?? hate them but also love that for them.

i’ve been told to stop chanting “horsdeourves” (how spell)

oh 1% anime boy has trauma D:

THE SNAKES NAME IS SIMON 🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍

vax ur awesome

yea okay i love percy hes my fav

apparently he needs wooden bullets?

side note would silver work ???? bc ik silver works for “evil” creatures generally like werewolves and steel for “nice” creatures like fey?? so would vampires count hmmm

also btw their fancy outfits are so coooool i love them !!

we’re taking a break and i have many thoughts;

do grogs tattoos have significance??

also cleric struggling w faith hell yea cool side quest tho

vax being disaster bisexual ICONIC of him

surprisingly i am not struggling w vax vs vex names v much :0

BEADS OF LOVE

your soul is forfeit dude ur so cool

duuuude secret passages!!!

WHY did the guards keep the twins together??? big stupid moment ngl

woa the ever light kinda dark tho. just saying.

keyleth <3 ur so nice 🥰🌸😇

ghosts fuck yes

NOOO THE GUARDS WERE SO HOT NOOOOO

aw grog not wanting to break piles shrine

ghost grabbed grogs titties lol

why doesn’t ANYONE have the light spell omgggg

PERCY IS CURB STOMPING A GHOST RN WHAT

He’s my fav

oh my GOD grog’s “what if i need you?” 🥺🥺🥺

“you’re their light now” stfu 😭😭

omg gilmore’s back :0

ok but what the heck IS percys weird shadow smoke thing??? intriguing

oh my god vax is a bisexual disaster wow.

these scenery shots are sooo pretty oh my god

oh my god that’s a massive fuck off dog

woaaa cool omg it’s just a torso that’s metal as fuck

that’s awesome ok

wow

hahah cool blood dogs okie

it’s sorta trottin along aww

percy’s tutor guys is eugh

AWWWW VAX “kiki”

bruh “friend”

wow these guys. suck at not accidentally bringing up percys trauma lol

vex’s abandonment issues popping off okay

this whitestone flashback is GORGEOUS so it’s gonna be in ruins now :/

yea it sucks now 😬 sun tree looking uhhhh

fits the vampire aesthetic a lot more now ngl but i like the pretty version personally

oh damn. the ending of episode 5. damn. augh

percy V pale. vitamin deficiency? very very white boy

why tf are there giants/goliaths here?? does not make sense bestie like is it an ecosystem thing? additional guard force?? i am wondering.

whitestone? more like graystone OOOOO BURN it’s bc the city is dirty.

religious person keeping the peace? BOOOO RISE UP VIVA LA RESISTANCE

Oh nvm she’s in the resistance ! sick. good for her.

aww archie and percy childhood crushes?? adorable

everlight on FIRE?? i guess not dark now but that can’t be good oof

“those were bad ideas and you should all feel bad” so tru bestie

also vax and percy standing like a power couple in that scene polycule rights

that’s a RLY COOL gun scope omg

haha back door team are all bottoms

oh my GOD they can’t open the door jesus

help action unsuccessful yikes scanlan

scANLANS FOOT???

PERCY FELL OUT A WINDOW

oh my god archie is nice and i like him <3

keyleth going FERAL I LOVE THAT FOR HER

WAIT. scanlans piercing is on the gay ear !!!!!

FUCK YES NO MERCY PERCY

and the NAME melts off the GUN this RULES

Cassandra is alive!!!!! holy shitttt

percy was a NERD in his youth

still is lol

this tutor suuuuuuucks booo

“who’s the sixth barrel for?” THE SHADOW. OH.

awwww archie and percy <3 <3 cute

let. me. be. annoying.

oh this lute music is a VIBE.

scanlans song slaps as well this is great

OMG THE GUARDS ARE PLAYING DND HAHA

“he’s a really tall guy” “scanlans just got shrunk” thanks @a-human-pippin-took i’m dumb at moments

WHAT FIRE BREATH WHAHAHAT HA

HEY HE IS BURNING DOWN THE HOUSE!!!!

this rules.

DUDE HES A TRICERATOPS THIS IS AMAZING 🦖🦕🦖🦕🦖

So dinosaurs are real??? or are they like mythical creatures in this universe ?

i can’t believe this mission was a total success good job scanlan

dick lightning omg nice sam

oh shit. cass. fuck man.

FUCK this tutor guy !

this loser brought a sword to a gun fight. sHit nvm he brought golems

OH MY GOD SHES ALOVE SHE SURVIVED JESUS CHRIST AH THANK GOD

pikes side quest goin Wild rn

oh THATS what it’s supposed to look like. a bit more light-y

oh this possession thing is uhhhhhh Fucked Up

oh my GOD percy is cool. fucked up but cool.

cass is. she has trauma as well! oof moment

oh my god. keyleth and the de rolo crest. that’s cool as fuck 😌😌

this vampire building is cool af and definitely trustable!!

uhhh that’s some. strange looking ceiling mold. 😬

oh FUCK THAT the hanged children have been ununalived now

ARCHIE NOOOOOIIIIIIOOOOOOIIOJOOKOOOOOOO THIS IS SO SAD

still torn up about that but holy shit keyleth

aw “kiki” 💚💚💚

that was a V good speech percy!! i miss archie :,(

oh my god “you know i’m in love with you, right?” “NOW?”

PIKE YES

“marry me?” “yes right now let’s do it” “really?” “no”

aw fuck still zombos

necromancer lady tattoo is messy as fuck. stick poke?

vax u CANT just free EVERYONE who the briarwoods hate,,

woa percy what did she do tho

oh this credits song!! <3 cute

oh FUCK this doctor lady

egh i rly don’t like anna ripley eghhhh

i agree w scanlan lol the smoke is a Bit fucked up lol lol hmmmm

WOA

OH MY GOD WHAT PERCY WHAT UR SOUL DUDE WHAT WOAH WHAT

this is so sus

cass u better be chill and not not chill

OH THATS SO COOL OMG “you’re at the bottom of my list”

taliesin king of one liners and crow noises

i only just realized pike is astral projecting

sick dagger vax 🔥🔥🔥

WAIT THE NAME CAS NO

shit fuck balls i called it

shittttt

percys crying vex is crying i’m gonna cry

HEAVY METAL

grog why is ur dick named that,,,,,

oh scanlan u genius

WATCHING W SUBTITLES ORTHAX IS THE WEIRD DEMON WTF AHHHH

percy holding his arm back from shooting cass,,,

oh my god scanlans muted,,,, smart but UGH

PIKE !! ❤️❤️❤️❤️💕❤️💕❤️❤️💕💕💕

KEYLETH THE LIGHT YEs

WEAKENS VAMPIRE FREES VEX THIS RULES YES

FUCK. YES. PIKE. THIS IS AWESOME KICK HER ASS

ok that fight was EPIC

And cass is more chill again!

aw fucks sake vampire lady pls stop it jeez

KEYLETH

the demon is orb

shittttttt

percy nooo ur soul is being overtaken haha

okay i got so wrapped up in the last episode i forgot to write ANYTHING but this show is VERY GOOD i highly recommend

!!!

#Rsbry’s jam #vox machina #vox machina spoilers #critical role #critical role season 1 #the legend of vox machina #tlovm

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