#nyx rambles

[annoying-probably]

Oj by the way-

I GOT MIKU EXPO TICKETS!!!!!

Let's hope miku expo on the TV isn't real for Europe!!! Also that I can get merch.

But crunchyroll has been so insanely bad- who knows!!!!! People may riot I hope they do. I'll go no matter what but the deception isn't hot

#nyx rambles #vocaloid #hatsune miku #miku expo

[niksu-agassi]

I know so many people struggling with BPD think they are hard to love, that they don't deserve it and that there will never be anyone who could match their love. None of you are too hard to love and every single one of you deserves the love you give out to those around you. So many of us have dated those who worked against us and our disorder, but there are people who WILL work with your disorder, who WILL give their best to understand you. Don't lose hope.

#bpd #eupd #borderline personality disorder #cluster b #mental illness #abandonment trauma #fear of abandonment #dating with bpd #wlw #sapphic #lesbian #I'm so grateful for my girlfriend #I never thought anyone would look at me with so much love and adoration #I love her so much #virgo x scorpio #jay #nyx #nyx rambles #seraphic melancholy

[hemera989]

as much as i love these fics where billy is rocking tommy’s shit, i think we’re lowkey underestimating how strong tommy is, like

and this is with the guy he has a crush on!! both physically and mentally, he was ready to rock steve’s shit. and steve still put up a hell of a fight against billy, despite losing in the end.

so basically, what i’m saying is, maybe billy might win in the end but i would KILL to see an actual showdown between billy and tommy. i think even if billy won, it would be a hella close victory and he’d be walking away just as fucked up.

#tommy hagan #keg gang #keg boys #stranger things #nyx rambles #billy hargrove #more fics where they go head to head!!! #*tai lung voice* our battle will be legendary!!

[bluetalenyx]

there are 3 works, including mine, in the danstelle tag on ao3

never in my life have I had such little fics to read for a ship I like 😭

no matter, I'll just write what I want to read for these two myself

#danstelle #hsr #nyx rambles

[nyx-allyster]

I've been in a depression funk and haven't gamed for weeks and I doubt I'll ever finish my fanfiction... work has been okay but I feel so drained. I been lonely despite my husband and I living together and life just feels so bleak and empty.

On the opposite side of things.... I have a new kitten, and she is my joy! She is so cuddly and floofy! It's fun to play with her and my other cat, gives the best serotonin..

And then it stops and I go back to rotting. Mental health sucks.

Why does life gotta be this way tho?

#nyx rambles #:( sigh

[ikea-employee]

Lmao! Regarding the Leon dbd post you made...when that man gets injured in dbd, it always catches me off guard and it is so hard to focus. Like I swear the dude that's the voice actor for Leon in dbd knew what he was doing....I swear

No you’re so right 🥲

I recently started playing him more often and-

I’m not amazing at running the killer.. BUT WITH HIM IM EVEN WORSE BECAUSE I CANNOT HIDE FOR THE LIFE OF ME- His voice actor definitely knew what he was doing and listening to his little noises is fun and 100% distracting BUT THAT MAN CANNOT BE ANY LOUDER ISTG-

It doesn’t matter though because… its Leon, ya know? 😩

#nyx ask answer #nyx rambles #addict my beloved mutual

[moldy-cheese-being]

Hate seeing people be like "stick and pokes always look horrible because of the tiny dots and scarring!!!!" Bc that's what i LOVE about them. The shitty, fuzzy, dots give it a nice rustic, unique look, and scarification is literally a type of tattoo, its just done on purpose instead of "oh oops my stick n poke washed out and now theres just a scar" haha

#nyx rambles #idk i just like em #in a manic episode and my bad idea of choice these past few days has been stick n pokes & self-piercings #i REALLY fucked up a nostril piercing last night lol #it was like super slanted to the point where i couldn't get any backing on the jewelry so i took it out #im gonna try again when it heals up #which will be the third time I've attempted this damn piercing #i really want it though #and on one specific side of my nose #anyway yeah #so how are y'all doing? #lmao #OH MY GOD I DIDN'T EVEN GIVE THIS ANY REAL TAGS SHIT #uhhh #stick and poke #tattoos #diy punk

[ladyfuxuan]

I realized I posted this to twitter and not here, it def needs a lot of touching up still but its okay enough for me to post the wip.

Roro is also from Ferndale, but technically didn't survive :') but they were friends as kids. Estinien used to climb trees to pick Roza apples and they'd make him candy and help bandage his wounds when he would get hurt

#my art #wolstinien #not gonna tag this too much? #i think they're cute tho #ro has no memories of their childhood after they died #so like she didn't know who he was for the longest time until she recovered a few memories via echo #nyx rambles #i FUCKING HATE DRAWING THE DRACHENMALE SO MUCH #rozastinien

[awenyx]

remember when everyone was theorizing that the collector was gonna possess luz's body because his design resembled luz's? i think about that a lot.

i'm glad that did not happen but also imagine

#toh #toh collector #the collector #nyx rambles

[nocturnal-phantoms-fandoms]

Ive noticed that my attitude towards characters being OOC changes depending in the fandom.

In some fandoms, I'm very attached to canonical versions of the characters. I read not only ff but a lot of metas too and I usually dont like when ff or hc contradict canon.

In the others I will read any ff as long as it portrays the characters in a certain specific way that Im *well aware* isnt canonical, just one of the fanon versions.

And here is a pattern: if I read/watch sth without prior knowledge about fanon it will be the former. If I know a ship *exists* (and thats why I start watching the show), it will be the latter.

Thats called priming. So there is science behind this.

#if i watch sth without ship priming chances are ill be into the characters first and being into the ship will come later #if im aware of the ship i will be into the ship first and ooc portrayal wont bother me as much #like im very picky with ff either way #but sometimes my opinion its backed up with canon and sometimes its not #also its stucky & wolfstar vs klance & steddie if anyone is curious #so its only 4 fandoms so its not representative data #it would be so funny if somebody came after me and told me my interpretation of r/s isnt close to canon at all #also right after entering the kl or steddie fandom I was into canon interpretations too obvsly #but its been so long since i watched the shows i dont remember it at all and i dont read metas for those #nyx rambles

[localbreeze]

what if I drew transfem morro. What would you guys do.

#I’m getting ideas fucking now?? #I’m gonna do it just give me like a week guys #nyx shitposting #hmmmmm #im having a vision #nyx rambles

[annoying-probably]

do any of you have fave proseka ships? platonic counts too!! -🐌

Oh totally!!

I'm mainly an akty truther, personally. But I really like most in-vbs ships!! Not as hot on toyahane and akian but they just aren't my go-to dynamics! I am a FIRM believer in antoya in a story dynamics way. I love them.

I like all the "basic" project sekai ships, really! Your Ruikasas and Emunenes and Ichisakis, and ofc Anhanes- Catch is- I'm a big multi shipper. My other big ships are probably KanaMizu and KanaEna! And KanaMino... And.. AkiMino... And ShizuMino... And KanaKasa...... And MinoKasa... And ShizuKasa..... And HonaKana...

okay so to be straight- I really enjoy ships with Kanade/Minori/Shizuku/Akito in them. I think they're just really shippable characters who work well in the dynamics prsk offers.

Favourites for my in groups are likely

HonaSaki(or polyneed), MinoShizu (poly jump), Akitoya, Emurui(could be PolyWonderlands) and KanaMizu.

Id ship poly niigo more but I am not that big on Mafuyu shipping. I think she is someone who rn doesn't really care about or need a romantic bond. So I do like qpr polyniigo. Like I said, love Antoya, but they're also one of my favourite hypewoman/hypeman pairs. They build each other up!!! They're the besties!! For other platonic ships- Probably EnaToya. But that's moreso sibling like.

In another thematic way- mafutouya!!!! Their stories almost mirror each others with just a small split- early salvation or not? Project sekai doesn't really allow character story and stuff in mixed events- but it would be a very fun conversation to see <3

oh I know I said I like akimino relationship but it really is more a qpr thing :) they're absolute best friends and I NEED to read the new event story soon.

Oh also minokohashiho. thanks Lynn!

Thank you so much for the ask, Mx. Snail anon !!!!!!!! I don't often get to ramble on about my lil strange pairings :)

#project sekai #nyx rambles #akitoya #prsk #pjsk #honestly im half asleep right now #id show you a relationship chart but i think it might become incompressible very fast #thank u so much again sobs #almosy wrote minokanakasa instwad of 1A shipping and y #yea i love them too!! subconscious endorsement!!

[niksu-agassi]

I passed my final exam for the first trimester of Korean & now I feel numb. We won't be continuing until 13th of January and I'm praying that my 서강 한국어 textbook & workbook arrive soon so I can keep practicing my reading, writing & speaking skills.

#I also ordered “Korean Stories for Language Learners” just to practice my reading skills #Studying Korean with my partner and taking notes after classes was my favorite activity #And I can't stress enough how sad I am that we won't be having classes for the next two months #On the other note #Apparently my teacher thinks it I keep up with my good work I can take TOPIK 1 exam next year #Y'all... #It's happening😭 #I'm so happy #I wanted to study Korean and eventually get back into learning Japanese for sO LONG #Languageblr #Studyblr #Korean #한국어 #한국어 학생 #A1 #TOPIK 1 #서강 한국어 #nyx rambles #seraphic melancholy

[hemera989]

i see fellow billy stans contemplating billy’s violence and i bring you: intermittent explosive disorder.

this isn’t the first time i’ve headcanoned a character with IED but it is the first time that i’ve been serious about it. honestly, if any of the stranger things showrunners or book writers treated billy and his trauma with any sort of sensitivity or seriousness, i would say that this is probably canon.

okay so for those who do not know what IED is, it is an impulse and emotional disorder in which people suffering from it often experience episodes of incredible anger and violence in response to triggers. the key aspect of this disorder is that the anger is completely uncontrolled, it is not planned, and the episode doesn’t often last more than 30 minutes at a time.

usually (but not always), the people in question are young male children. however, the symptoms can persist from childhood to adulthood if they are not treated properly.

how do i think this relates to billy? uh.

okay jokes aside, i think the entire fight at the byers house is a pretty good example. the way that it intersects with what i believe is his PTSD makes it even more interesting. we already know that billy is in an unstable state when he’s coming to the byers’, what with being fresh off of an incredibly unsafe and upsetting situation with his father berating and hitting him in front of a witness.

so the proverbial gun is cocked and ready to fire, in this situation. and, in all honesty, none of what physically happened in the byers house is a proper trigger for how severely billy beats steve. he’s not in immediate danger, he’s obviously physically stronger than steve, and he already was winning the fight by the time it got bad. there’s no reason why he couldn’t have left steve and taken max home, but we can clearly see that while nothing physically has happened, billy has clearly been psychologically triggered.

you could really come up with any reason as to why he was psychologically triggered during this event. the most common of which is that he was just in a situation (with his dad) in which he was in danger but was not allowed to defend himself, and he’s redirecting what he wants to do to his dad (which actually gets referenced in the runaway max novel**) to steve.

there is also one that has been coming up more recently, which is that when steve hits him, billy reacts as if steve were actually neil himself. the entire fight, he’s not even seeing steve. the trigger that i like the most, which is the most tinfoil hat but can easily be explained with context clues, is that steve has become neil in billy’s mind, and billy has become his mother. the outfit, the punch, the plate smash—it all says, to me, that he’s recreating his mother’s abuse. but, in his mind, his mother is winning. he’s winning for her.

(short sleeved red shirt unbuttoned, blue jeans and a belt, their hair, etc)

so yes, his trigger itself could be any number of things, but whatever that thing is to you, it triggers an episode. we don’t actually know where billy would have stopped in this situation. had max not drugged him, i can’t confidently say that billy would’ve stopped himself before it was too late. it’s not intentional effort on his part, he is not in control of himself in that situation. an episode has been triggered and he cannot stop himself until the episode is done, which could have been well after steve was dead.

this is an example of a high intensity-low frequency episode. episodes of this intensity do not occur often, and are rather rare in comparison to the frequency of low intensity episodes. i think max tends to be a trigger for a lot of the low intensity episodes we see. (DO NOT!!!!!!!!! take this as me blaming her, i am not blaming her for his episodes occurring!)

**i saw this a lot more when i got the chance to look at the runaway max book the other day. i don’t necessarily consider that book to be canon (there are obvious timeline issues, plus the fact that if it were canon, it would introduce a whole host of disturbing implications about max and billy’s relationship), but i do think more of his symptoms can be observed there simply due to the fact that more importance is placed on him in that book as opposed to the show.

violence against animals (although already dead), violence against people, etc etc. i honestly wonder if that author (and even the show, honestly) was trying to portray billy as being a ‘psychopath’ which, as much as i’d love to talk about that and how much i hate it, it would need to be an entirely different post.

it also makes sense how billy might have acquired these symptoms. for starters, most disorders tend to be passed down genetically, and though i don’t know enough about neil to say anything about his anger (and i don’t particularly care to), i think it’s safe to say that billy could have inherited it from him. additionally, trauma, abuse, and exposure to violence as a child are also environmental causes of this disorder, which

self explanatory.

to me, this makes a lot of things about billy’s character make sense. it also makes me really sad because, once again, this disorder can be treated and mitigated with proper help and intervention.

#billy hargrove #stranger things #stranger things meta #billy hargrove meta #nyx rambles

[bluetalenyx]

the hate some ppl have for damian is actually very concerning, like what do you mean you want him to die because he's going to be in the new Batman movie as Robin and Tim isn't 🤨

#I have no idea #why everyone hates a 10 year old so much #damian wayne #dc #nyx rambles

[risnyx]

The create mod series is so precious to me i love it so much

#nyx rambles #create mod #minecraft #tangotek #goodtimeswithscar #keralis #bdubs