#nz i wanna fuck your dad

[mxmollusca]

Every day I collect more and more evidence that Taika is just playing chicken with Disney. Like, this is just one big long con to see how much he can wring out of the House of Mouse before they realize he's been trolling them. I'm here for it.

#taika waititi is crackpost made flesh #nz i wanna fuck your dad #taika waititi #thor love and thunder

[ofmooshd]

From Rhys' Instagram Story

#rhys darby #sorry nz i wanna fuck your dad #ofmd #stede bonnet #also lol @ like his volume control being on the screen in one of the photos sir what are you doing

[blue-eyed-bloodstains]

1. First thing you wash in the shower? my hair 2. Are you more of a coffee or alcohol drinker? I’d never stop drinking either if it were possible, especially alcohol 3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? of course he’s my fiance :P 4. Do you plan outfits? no 5. How are you feeling RIGHT now? tired and stressed 6. Whats the closest thing to you thats red? the blanket over me  7. What would you do if you opened your door and saw a dead body? O_O...what the fuck?! I’d scream blue bloody murder slam the door shut, lock it and call 911 8. Tell me about the last dream you remember having? considering it’s 5am and I’m still wide awake, and the last I had dozed off and woken up was yesterday at like 4:30pm ish? I barely remember now but I know it was really fucked up 9. Three of your current feelings? stressed, tired, lonely 10. What are you craving right now? a strong drink...hell I’ll drink it straight, just give me something! 11. Turn ons? honesty, sense of humor, respectful, kind, nice eyes and smile, patient, good communication, supportive 12. Turn offs? arrogant, rude, entitled, ignorant, pushy, flirtatious towards other women, abusive, controlling, anger issues 13. What comes to mind when I say cabbage? MY CABBAGESSSSS!!! XD 14. When was the last time you cried? Why? last week when he told me he wasn’t gonna be home this week for a home visit from the job he’s been on in NZ since February...that he’s there till the “end” (doubt it’s over, he’ll have to go back eventually) of it which is the end of May... 15. If you could be a superhero, who would you want to be? Deadpool for sure 16. Did the one person who hurt you most in your life apologize? yeah but it was complete bullshit... 17. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it? lick it 18. Favorite movie ever? not possible to choose 19. Do you like yourself? hell no 20. Have you ever met a celebrity? yeah 21. Could you handle being in the military? I’ve considered it at one point but I know deep down I’d never be able to handle it...not just physically, but the mental hell I’d be put through with the treatment. it’s way too dangerous cause of my already existing mental illnesses and history of trauma.. 22. What are you listening to right now? I have crime shows on tv  23. How many countries have you visited? never left the country 24. Are your parents strict? my mom was a severely overprotective parent...pretty much the suffocating type, my dad was a bit more laid back  25. Would you go sky diving? hell no 26. Would you go out to eat with a stranger? maybe, it depends but probably not without knowing at least basics about the person 27. Whats on your mind right now? overthinking as always and just wanna go to sleep 28. Is there anything you want to say to someone? lots 29. Have you ever been in a castle? nope, never got my Hogwarts letter :| 30. Do you rent movies often? used to. obviously Blockbuster growing up, then Redbox for years...now just stream for free with the occasional still going to the theater for certain movies 31. Whats your zodiac sign? Taurus 32. When was the last time you had sex? been too long, we’re way overdue... 33. Name five facts about yourself. - I’m a tomboy - I was on a parent/child bowling league when I was very young with my dad, we won trophies and beanie babies...good god the bags of duplicate beanie babies... - I was in gymnastics and dance when I was between about 4-7 and have video from some of the performances - I’m a huge horror fan - I’ve been in an inpatient facility before 34. Ever had a near death experience? If so, what happened? yep...my bday 2015, I got acute alcohol poisoning with perc in my system too and ended up in the ER without any memory of what happened.  and last year, March 21, 2022 I totaled my car careening off the road into trees, totaling the car and should be dead. my first DUI and my BAC at the hospital when they drew my blood was .408, which everyone was surprised I wasn’t seizing or comatose by that point. miraculously with most of my roof caved in and the windshield caved in with a branch through it inches from where my head was, I walked away with bruises and major whiplash...nothing serious 35. Do you believe in karma or predestiny? yeah 36. Brown or white eggs? both are good 37. Do you own something from Hot Topic? hell yeah that’s my store! 38. Ever been on a train? many times (Amtrak) 39. Ever been in love? yes...and currently am 40. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you do it? I know I’d regret it but yeah most likely lol 41. If you could trade places with any person living or dead, who would you trade places with? my grandparents...Mimi and Grandpa, they didn’t deserve to go the way they did... 42. If you could shorten your life expectancy by 10 years to become more attractive, would you do it? probably 43. Whom do you admire and why? several people for several reasons... 44. What was your favorite bedtime story as a child? not sure, don’t remember ever really being read to sleep at night so.. 45. You’re walking down the street, you come across a burning building. A woman says her baby is trapped inside, what would you do? I don’t have the courage to run in myself and try to find it, as guilty as I feel saying that...I’d try to comfort her and call for help, screaming out for anyone else to help in the meantime 46. If you could choose the future profession of your son or daughter, would you? no. it’s their life, they’ll decide what they wanna do and what they’re passionate about and what makes them happy, and I’ll support them 100% 47. What was your best experience on drugs or alcohol? being able to drink till I blacked out and couldn’t anymore and be numb and shut my head up even just for a short amount of time... 48. What was your worst experience on drugs or alcohol? all the hell it brought down on me from family...and causing me to finally have a record as well as total my car that I’d only had for three months at that point. 50. As your walking down the street you find a suitcase full of money sitting next to a parked car, would you take it? no, turn it in and yes I mean that 51. If you found that a close friend has AIDS, would you still hang out with them? of course, I’m not like that to where I’d discriminate or treat them like the plague avoiding them at all costs. that’s beyond fucked up. I’d be more careful, obviously, but nothing would change 52. In front of you are 10 pistols, 5 of which are loaded. If you survive you’d receive 100 million dollars. Would you be willing to place 1 to your head and pull the trigger? no...given my history of suicidal tendencies and ideation, that’s way too much of a trigger (pun intended) for me to even consider or be asked to do. 53. How old were you when you lost your virginity? 19, three months shy of turning 20...I was very late to the game, not exactly by choice either just never had the opportunity or means and I wasn’t like most girls my age doing it so young 54. Do you believe in ghosts, werewolves or vampires? ghosts yeah, definitely 55. If you could live forever, would you want to? absolutely not...life is hell 56. Which fictional movie character most resembles who you are? Hermione Granger, hands down. the book smarts, the averageness, the insecurity, the quiet loner, the intelligent know it all, the best in class, the wit, the kindness, the loyalty to friends, the perfectionist... 57. If you could go back in time, which time period would you visit? as fucked up as this sounds, and as much of a death wish as it is? I’d definitely wanna see the dinosaurs 58. If they were to televise a live execution, would you watch it? ummm...?? my curiosity is a bitch so I have a bad feeling I would 59. If you could be the president of the USA, would you be willing to do it? FUCCCCKKKKK NOOOOOOO! fuck that shit, I’m out! 60. If you could choose the sex of your unborn child, would you want to? no I’d be fine with either gender it wouldn’t really matter to me.  61. Would you rather live longer or be wealthy? live longer...though wealthy would definitely help some things

#survey #bored #random #about me

[adamdriverwrites]

Carpe Noctem || Part 4

Plot summary: Mob boss’s daughter & bodyguard au ft. Kylo Ren. Based off this plot bunny (x)

Warnings: none today, kids

Word count: 5329 (prepare yourself)

Pairing: Kylo Ren/Reader

A/N: Here is part 4 finally! NZ is in quarantine, so i’ve been trying to write and gif a lot more! expect another update soon! let me know what you guys think!

Taglist: @helloimindelaware, @dandydragonz, musicalcoffeebean, @driverficarchive, hazydespair, @mp938368, @maybell88, @bikinibrattoms, @fanfic-fangirl, @stillreadingfantasy, @um-well, @OnevergrowoldnevergrowoldO, @jay-ta-blog, @wildwood-trails, @stephhaniee14, @flowerniche, @sanfranciscroc, @little-miss-mischief1, @pami-yui, @lex-bb13, @deepblueswift13, @allknowingnerd, @shawnme-boy, @whymalu, @simonsbluee, @jons-angel, @whymalu, @mixtapes-books, @amazing1rl, @ambrosia-v-black, @souriemickey, @toads4days, @xsar-bearx, @lunarlung, @bubble-t-r-o-u-b-l-e, @cutiepiepotatoes, @bangtan-savage

Masterlist here

Just family.

If you weren't so opposed to the idea of making a scene, then you would have confronted your father about why he was such a deceiver.

It was clearly not strictly family. After you had gone to your room to change, you met your siblings down in the formal dining room, where they had been drinking and waiting for you to arrive. You all moved to the dining room. Roman, Ares and Lyon  sitting on either side, your father taking his legendary seat at the head of the table. However, with Kylo sitting next to your Dad, the only space available was opposite, also next to your father.

Phasma was also seated at the table, thankfully separating Ares and yourself, which you did not mind one bit. In fact, a part of you was almost excited to catch up with Gwen after all this time.

As you stared at your food in front you, silence permeated the room. Save for the lone conversation between your siblings, few words exchanged, otherwise it was a tense, quiet affair. The dining room was huge, with a table fit for easily 20 people and with the 7 of you spread around one half of it, you still had a sizeable space between each other.

You gathered it was your fathers disposition that put everyone on edge. Sitting at the head of the table, nursing a glass of amber liquid. His food completely untouched as he watched everyone. The only one who seemed completely unperturbed by it was Kylo, eating the rack of lamb with a citrus and blue cheese salad without a care in the world it seemed. He was his usual stoic form, though unperturbed by the lack of conversation or apparent awkwardness that lingered, he ate dinner and kept to himself.

Your mind wandered to what Hux had told you about him earlier. About how he was your fathers sword and shield, apparently unflinching in his ability to spill blood. You had been gone for a number of years, and before you left for good you were still rather young - however you were perceptive. Due to your perceptiveness however, you knew he hadn't been around for a long time, not since you were a kid. So where the fuck did he come from?

"Is it always like this?" As conversation ensued at the other end of the table,  you leaned over to Gwen to whisper quietly.

She chewed through a piece of meat, swallowing before answering, "We don't usually have dinner like this. Ever, really."

You nodded, not really receiving an answer to your question - you wanted to know if everything was usually this tense. Or if the day of Mallory's funeral was such a reason.  "Good to know that we won't have to be subjected to this too often then."

"Don't worry," Phasma smiled down at you, "This isn't awkward because of you."

Your eyes drifted down the table, Roman and Ares laughing about something quietly to themselves - Lyon's eyes however - were locked on you. A hard stare as he pushed his food around his plate, haphazardly shoving some into his mouth before looking over at your Dad.

"Sure." you offered, though not completely convinced of her assurance; however kind of a gesture it was intended to be. You knew it was because of Mallory's funeral, that was the predominant proverbial wound, though your presence was pouring salt into said wound.

It made it so much worse, this you were sure.

Roman's voice quietened your internal monologue, speaking your name to gather your attention. You looked over to see him looking at you. "I'm going to Starkiller later on. You wanna come with?"

Starkiller was one of the only legitimate businesses your family had. One that wasn't used to launder money like the Supremacy, it was purely for profit. Though as you grew up you guessed it was your father's way of keeping your brother out of trouble. He had something to do, something to look after, and it was away from the dangerous dealings that could prove fatal. It was a club on the outskirt of your father's turf, under Roman's management though you didn't think he did much 'work' while there.

"What time were you thinking?" You spoke quietly, as not to disturb other conversation happening at the table and not to alert anyone eavesdropping. Your eyes flickered over to your new bodyguard, eating quietly, not even looking at you.

Roman shrugged, "After dinner sometime."

You nodded, "I'm a little jet lagged still. I might have a nap and come later?" You didn't want to go particularly, and you were definitely not jet lagged. To the contrary, you felt quite awake, you just had other ideas and perhaps it could prove a useful alibi.

"Sounds good." He smiled, then went back to eating food off his plate.

"How's school?" It was now your father's voice that pulled your attention. He looked at you while he asked, still not having touched his food. Only nursing a glass and looking over his family.

"It's going okay, thanks."

Phasma piped in next to you. "What do you study exactly? I don't think I've ever actually asked."

"I have a double major; law and psychology." You nodded, it sounded like a brag though you didn't intend for it to be. Although other members of your family looked down on education, others did not.

"Wow, interesting choice. Impressive." Phasma shot you a little smirk.

"You going to be ready to be my lawyer soon?" Roman joked from down the table.

"Or mine." Your father spoke up.

You gave them a half smile in return. Unable to tell the truth- that you had no intention of being a lawyer, it was just something you were studying because you wanted to possess the knowledge of the judicial law system and all the rules in place. You didn't particularly have intentions of breaking the law but if you did... then it would prove extremely fruitful. Psychology was another interest, you found it imperative to understanding your enemies - not that you had many of those either. Yet.

But you were the daughter of Andrew Snoke, and being made to feel so powerless in your youth gave you a complex as you grew up. You needed to acquire knowledge like no one had in your family before, and maybe then you would feel worthy. Powerful.

Dinner passed by quickly. As soon as everyone had finished, your father offered to move it to the office in the west wing of the manor for more drinks. You were going to decline, playing the excuse of jet lag almost immediately, however, you decided to acquiesce and have one drink. For Mallory.

Lyon and Ares started racking up the polished balls on the pool table, setting up for a game. Roman talked lightly with your father, pouring drinks from a crystal decanter for everyone who wanted one. Kylo was back to a dark corner of the room; finding a seat to watch over everyone and smoke a cigarette. He didn't fraternize with the others, or try to relax with a friendly game of pool. Always stoic and always working evidently.

You followed Gwen, finding a seat near the tall open windows facing the backyard. Curtains parted slightly, cool breeze blowing in faintly. Too dark to see out but the fresh air helped ease your mind, if only for a moment.

"Here." Gwen offered you a cigarette from her pack and you kindly accepted. A horrible habit, you knew, but to you it was a small price to pay for stress relief. A hit of nicotine helped your thoughts calm down, and deprived any ill feelings purchase in the forefront of your mind. You could have a few moments not totally at the behest of your anxiety or depression.

"Thank you." You accepted, along with the flame she held up so you could light it. Inhaling deeply, you gave yourself a second to appreciate the reprieve before you exhaled. And then braved to ask Gwen a question. "So come on, be honest with me."

Her pale eyes met yours, and quirked a brow. "I almost always am."

A short laugh escaped your lips. "Thanks for the honesty." Your eyes drifted around everyone, to see if anyone was paying particular attention. "But I mean... how serious is my Dad about all this bodyguard shit?"

"I'd say pretty serious. He assigned me to Roman after all."

This made you sit forward. "Really?" That was particularly serious. "I thought it was a sexist thing, that he didn't think I could take care of myself but, huh..." You sat back in the chair, thrown for a loop. You didn't think it was really that serious. Sure, there were aspects of Mallory's death suspicious but he was on high alert. Enough to warrant some of his most ruthless and trusted men - and women - to become glorified sitters for his children.

"You've all been assigned someone."

"Why didn't I get you? Why did I get him?" Your eyes shot over her shoulder, the furthermost corner of the sprawling room. Kylo sat with your father, drinking. His dark eyes trained on you; already watching.

Always fucking watching. You pulled your eyes away immediately, though you were positive he would not have been able to hear a word from the distance, or over your siblings shouts and taunts. His eyes were on you regardless and it made you uneasy.

Any hint of a smile covering Phasma's lips instantly dropped. The furrow in her brow set in again. "Well... you're you." She took a drag of her cigarette. "And as much as I hate to admit this, he's the best. Snoke is just being cautious."

"The best at what exactly?" You took a drag of your own cigarette, ashing in the crystal ashtray on the coffee table between you. Something flared in Gwen's eyes, what, you were not sure. Worry? Anger? Jealousy? Or was it fear? You had no idea.

"You're smart. I think you already know." She looked like she didn't want to talk about the subject anymore. You weren't sure if it was your father's presence, or Kylo's that deterred her from spouting any more honest truths.

Your mind went to Hux, and the words he had so freely spoken before dinner had you wondering. Calling Ren your father's right hand man, the problem solver.... a rabid animal.  You knew your family was bad. By conventional terms with a modern sense of morality, they were evil.

Criminals, murderers, extortioners, torturers, tax-evading, wealth-hording, gun-shipping, drug-running psychopaths to be exact.

And as bad as you all were, everyone in the Snoke manor was scared of only one person; your father. He was a much older man now, and though he still held a significant amount of power over everyone in the house - it appeared he now had passed the torch on. All physical bouts and messy jobs were now Kylo's to execute, and it seemed he did them perfectly.

You had never seen or heard of him before. You wondered how new he was exactly, and how quick he had risen in the ranks to become your fathers most trusted man. He would have had to prove himself immensely, and the concept of what that possibly entailed both scared and intrigued you. You wondered what types of violence your father found to be grounds for proof of trust.

You made a mental note to ask Armitage how long he had been around, along with a few others things flying around your brain. Weirdly, they were all questions about Kylo Ren.

You decided to cool your thoughts, and continue small talk with Gwen. You asked about your brother, and what her new schedule was like since it hadn't appeared he had changed much. She confirmed that she spent most of her nights at Starkiller, watching your brother party with his friends.

You shared a few jokes at the expense of your family, especially when Lyon lost a game of pool and almost snapped the pool cue over his knee in anger. A glare from your father and his anger simmered down almost immediately. You finished your cigarette, though enjoying talking with Gwen you were thoroughly over this fucking situation. A drunk sausage fest with your family in which none of them even wanted to talk to you, to spend time with you. Your father could hardly stand the sight of you.  

You gave him the benefit of the doubt - he had buried his daughter today, and looking at the face of your other estranged one was certainly not a priority he had to have. You expected nothing on arrival, and had already had a few days of drama free bliss. Really, your sisters death had the opposite reaction on your Dad than you thought it would.

You supposed you would enjoy it while you could. You thought it was going to be utter chaos here, loud arguments between you and your father, leading to a crescendo in which you would be forced to leave once more.

You decided to bid Gwen goodnight, finishing your drink in two big gulps you braved the walk to your father. Zig zagging around your brothers and the Snoke enforcers, you found your way to your Dad and Kylo. His eyes were focused on the drink in his hand, amber liquid swirling in a glass slowly. Kylo noticed you before he did.

"Dad?" You pulled him out of his reverie and he looked up. "I think I'm going to head to bed, I’m not use to New York time yet."

"Oh." He nodded, "Okay. Sleep well, kid."    

You gave the faintest smile, eyes shooting to Kylo who stared you up and down. A curious look behind his eyes - like he knew you were lying. Though your father seemed completely fooled. You left immediately, trying to ignore the awkward goodbye with your father, you snuck out the doors and headed to your bedroom.

Checking your phone, it was only about 10 p.m. You figured jetlag would set in eventually, but after today’s days events you felt wide awake. You didn't want to go to sleep yet. Maybe you couldn't.

You shed out of your funeral clothes, getting changed into something far more comfortable. A white cropped t-shirt, dark jeans, and your trusted leather jacket. Slipping on some fresh socks and swapping you shoes for your black doc martins. You checked your appearance in the mirror before sighing. You looked good considering everything you had been through today. 

Usually you looked like shit.

Grabbing keys, money, phone and smokes you locked your bedroom door, turned off the light and left out the window. It may have been almost ten years since you had done this, but it was a tried and true trick for sneaking out when you had more than 10 people staying at your house at any given time. Especially when some of those people's job were specifically to make sure people didn't get in or out without the family's knowledge. There was no way in hell you were going to make it out the front door without anyone finding out.

Or worse, Kylo.

You were hellbent on deterring his body-guarding for as long as you could; hopeful it would serve as eventual proof to your father that you did not need to be looked after. You didn't even want to think about how uncomfortable he made you feel.

Not in a bad way, you weren't scared of him like everyone seemed to be. But being in such close proximity was jarring in a certain way, despite his stoic, murderous presence, you couldn't stop staring at his face. At that scar, at those deep, brown eyes.

And at those lips.

He was hot, in an unconventional way, and you almost never found men sexy. For this reason alone you wanted to stay as far away as possible. You didn't even want to broach the reason of whatever the fuck had you thinking about Kylo Ren's lips.

There was a large trellis that covered almost the whole wall underneath your window. Covered by thick ivy vines that sprawled up most of the 3 story Snoke manor, you used this to sneak in and out of your room up until you were sent off to boarding school. And even when you came back for a Christmas once. It was a trick you had learned from watching Mallory sneak out when you were younger.  

You poked your head out first, making sure you couldn't see anyone on a perimeter watch, another thing your father's lackeys did sometimes. Seeing the coast was clear, you positioned your feet and then moved out, leaving your window open for entry later. Making sure your footing was placed carefully and with a strong grip, you made your way down the side of the house. Your bedroom was on the second floor, though your house was notorious for high ceilings and you were pretty high up off the ground. Adrenaline kicked in and cooler heads prevailed as you made the climb down to the ground. Once your feet touched the grass underneath your window, you breathed a sigh of relief.

The garage was big enough to house all the vehicles of the multiple people who lived at your house. The entrance was under the south wing of the house, which was an easy, quick walk from your room. You made it there in a minute or two, careful to stay away from windows in case you were seen by anyone randomly gazing out. Opening the last garage door, the one that housed your precious car, you hopped in and started it up. Leaving the lights off, you shifted gears and made it out onto the driveway. Careful that anyone looking out a window or wandering around the property wouldn't be alerted by bright car lights. You were trying very hard not to be seen and you were hoping your hard work was going to pay off.

You had spent years perfecting this technique of Mallory’s.

You drove down the long, winding driveway guided by moonlight alone, until you reached the end. You flicked your lights on and took the exit onto the road. You exhaled a deep breath, one you didn't know you were holding. Paranoia relieved a little bit as you made your way down the street, your eyes still glanced at the rear view mirror looking for car lights that might follow.

You were half worried that Kylo would be trailing you, someone seeing you slinking around the property in the dark and sneaking out would definitely pique interest. You didn't want a bodyguard, especially one who's presence made you uneasy. In which way in particular, you weren't sure. But you wanted to be alone right now. 

You had been alone for years and years on end before this moment - what had changed now that you needed a bodyguard? Mallory's death? Most likely. Being back in the country could've proved you to be an easier target too, you guessed.

However, you had been gone for so many years, and being the black sheep of the family did provide one comfort - no one outside the family really knew who you were.  You were a taboo subject, rarely talked about and never seen. You weren't involved in the family business like your brother's were, and didn't go to classy fundraisers and socialite parties like Mallory did.  

Not to mention you took Brazilian jiu jitsu for years when you were a kid - and you remembered some shit. You weren't lying when you tried to convince your father that you would be fine on your own.

It didn't take long to enter the city, and then find the towering skyscraper that was the Finalizer. It was a tall, dark building with gothic architecture encompassing the facade, contrasted beautifully with its elaborate but minimalist, neutral toned interior. A 5 star safe haven for the rich, famous and criminally inclined. Your father had made sure whatever secrets were experienced within, never had a chance of escape.

You pulled your vehicle into the valet area, shifting into park you hardly had enough time to grab your stuff before a young man opened your door for you.

“Welcome to the Finalizer, ma'am.”

You gave a half smile in thanks, walking forward to the grandiose gold double doors that served as the entrance. Another young man opened them with a smile, welcoming you to the hotel.

Gold light from over hanging chandeliers illuminated the room. Bright mosaic patterns intertwined with white marble made up the floor. An expansive room with nothing but elevators behind a desk with two more people behind it. You were glad you remembered the pass code, unwanting to make conversation with people you didn't know. Not today.

You made a beeline straight for the elevator, stepping into the mirrored room, throwing a smile at the girl behind the desk as you passed. The numbers for all the floors were illuminated by a dim light, the top 3 floors reserved penthouses for permanent residences given out by your father. The very top floor was for family, a sort of unusual halfway house. For when his children couldn’t stand being near him but lacked the funds to move into their own abode. It was Roman's home once upon a time, then it was empty save for the odd weekend or two when your brothers were too drunk to leave the city, and then eventually Mallory’s home. You didn't know what your father was going to do with it now. If your sisters body hadn't been found in it then you would have been tempted to move in.

Although, depending on how bad it got at home - maybe you could be easily convinced.

A small keypad was situated next to the floor buttons, and you entered the pass code for your sisters floor, something that wasn't required of irregular hotel stayers who had simple key cards for their rooms.

The elevator rode all the way to the top, and you were lucky to be alone. The surge of the lift paired with the g-force, you felt your heartbeat rapidly fasten. You tried to peg its inception down to the anxiety that now clouded your mind. You were about to enter your sister's apartment after all.

The last place she was when she was alive.

You remembered your father telling you the place had been cleaned after the forensic evidence had been collected. You hadn't been here in so long that you hardly remembered it. You were shipped off to boarding school long before you were old enough to spend drunken weekends here.  

The doors to the elevator opened right up into the apartment. Separating with a 'ding' it revealed the almost pitch black penthouse. A little stream of light from the lift exposed a golden beam down the otherwise dark hallway. You turned the torch on your phone to it's brightest setting, walking out into the penthouse. The doors shut behind you as you found the light switch, and the penthouse was suddenly bathed in light.  

Tall, white walls of the hallway gave way to an open planned penthouse. Floor to ceiling glass revealed the neon New York skyline below. The spacious living room gave way to a kitchen on the far left and bedrooms on the far right. A garden laden outside area showed numerous seating with a table, a hot tub, and an infinity pool that disappeared off the edge.

It was clad in dark fabrics and white paint. A shiny, new, modern penthouse that was starkly different than the Snoke manor. It was sparse with furniture, minimalist in its decor; simple but effectively pretty. Mallory had kept the place nice and tidy, artwork and pictures littered the penthouse walls, giving it a burst of colour that was proof of her bubbly personality living here.

You shed your jacket, throwing it over the back of the couch, your items discarded along with it. Your eyes darted around the apartment, eager to find something out of place, unusual enough that you would notice. Though, your lack of experience with the space provided some trouble.

Mallory had taught you a lot growing up - how to escape down a trellis on the side of the house to avoid being detected was one of them. One of the others was having a good hiding spot.

Andrew Snoke was a controlling father growing up, especially with his daughters. And even more so with his favorite, Mallory. You didn't blame her for turning to drugs in her turbulent youth, not with the pressure she was under. Your brothers had done all that and worse and they hadn't been crucified for it.

And because of all of that, Mallory had taught you that hallowed out books, sun-glass cases in underwear drawers, and envelopes behind hung pictures were all great hiding spots.

You made your way to the bedrooms, finding the master that Mallory called hers. Everything was clean, put away, though a glance at the walk-in closet and the mass of designer dresses it was easy to deduce her presence. There was a large bed in the middle, side tables either side. Various artwork hung on the walls and the long, wooden shelf in the room was littered with pictures of her and her friends.

You noticed a few of them by face, probably knew all of them by name the amount she talked about them - though you couldn't tell who was who. Mallory's smiling face was what caught your eyes and cause you to still. Shining, bright eyes and a wide smile that you were familiar with. One that you would never see again. Your throat tightened at the thought.

You darted over to the side tables with purpose, to forget the overwhelming sadness creeping into your mind and replace it with something productive instead. You rifled through its contents, opening drawers and quickly sifting through objects. Pushing things to the side you safely checked for a false bottom of each shelf, but found nothing in particular. Moisturizers, sleep masks, and a pack of cigarettes - though nothing special.

You continued your rampage through her room, looking behind artwork hung on the walls, looking under the bed, under the pillows, in between the mattress and the bed frame, then moving to the closet. You checked in her boots, making sure nothing was concealed in there, before becoming desperate and looking in her shoe boxes and the pockets of her coats. Heaving a sigh of contempt, and resigning to the notion that there was nothing in this room you decided to move on.

You made your way to the kitchen - checking cereal boxes, and the freezer, large tins that she kept nestled in the pantry. You checked anything and everything you thought could be a possibility, but nothing seemed suspicious. Nothing was awkwardly placed, nothing moved every so often that dirt patterns formed; everything was normal.

You ventured over to the living room. You checked behind the artwork first, and behind one you find a safe built into the wall. Your interest was piqued momentarily before realizing these were in all your fathers properties - and housed usually large amounts of cash, jewels, important legal documents and the like. You were looking for something in particula, and figured it would not be inside a safe your father had access to. 

You knew Mallory kept a journal, she had as a teenager, and once she grew up and tried to stay sober she had one documenting her thoughts. Something her sponsor told her might be able to help with her sobriety. You hoped if anything her diary would hold some impertinent information. Anything.

However, you were not inclined to think a diary she wrote in everyday was kept in a safe in the living room. Too many processes for something so ridiculous as a journal. You figured she was still like she was growing up - in that she preferred to hide things from the prying men in our family - but she wouldn't go to those lengths. Not if our father had the code to said safe.

You would ask him about it later, but resigned to not give up. It had to be somewhere. You were confident it was not in the safe.

A large flat screen was set against the wall, a wide fireplace underneath. Built into the wall either side were some bookcases, not housing anything but photos, some CDs, and ornaments that Mallory had collected over the years that obviously meant something to her. And a card from you, from her last birthday. Nothing pretty or pink, or particularly special but simply declaring your love for your sister.

You placed it back on the shelf, eyes moving over to a trophy from Mallory's high school days, a cheer-leading trophy, sitting next to it a picture of her winning prom queen, next to her tiara that she blatantly kept. You smiled, if only at the ridiculous nature and stark reality of how different you two were. Things she cared about weren't even on your radar - you two didn't have anything in common. Lived on different continents in fact, and still the two of you got together and it was some of the only moments you felt you were truly happy. You would drink, or maybe smoke a little pot together and would end up in stitches of laughter, faces and sides burning in pain. You were definitely going to miss her humor.

A smile curved your lips and you glanced over, eyes catching a gold trophy that caused you to still. You had seen it before, you remembered it briefly, and as your eyes shot down to the engraved tag, it read your name.

Your hands gripped the trophy, a gold metal showing a girl doing a roundhouse kick in a martial arts stance. "Holy shit." The words flew from your mouth without thought.

Mallory had kept it.

~~~~

You and competed in over 6 different competitions, fought in over 22 different matches, becoming the champion for Brazilian Jiu Jitsu in the tri-state area for girls under 18. And you were only 13 years old at the time.

Years and years of rigorous training had led to this point, years of your youth spent on grueling grappling techniques and perfecting your punches. To this referee now announcing your name, a round of applause from all the parents in the stands stung your ears. He shook your hand, handing you the trophy. A flash from a camera blinded you momentarily, and you searched for familiar faces in the crowd.

Your eyes locked with Mallory's. She was standing up, clapping as hard as she could, a proud smile on her face. You looked at the seat next to her - reserved for your father.

It was empty.

Your heart dropped. You mustered a smile, praying for it to be over so you could go back to the changing rooms and release the tears that pooled in the corner of your eyes.

You locked your gaze with Mallory once more, and noticing the look on your face, and you glancing at the empty seat next to her, her mouth uttered an apology, providing a sincere look.

You bit your lip, squeezing the trophy as hard as you could in your hands until it was over. Once you were clapped off the stage with the girl who came 2nd and 3rd place, you ran to the changing rooms to find a lonely corner you could get out of your fighting robes.

You prayed for the tears to go away, to any God who was out there that could show one ounce of mercy to you. But no one answered. You were alone, and once one tear fell it was hard to stop the rest. Your father couldn't even come to your championship fight? He never devoted any time to you ever, and you were doing this because it made him vaguely proud in some way. Even still, he couldn't give you one second of his fucking time?

He had given you nothing, and you had done this all for him.

You sniffled, throwing your bag over your shoulder and haphazardly slipping your shoes on, you exited the changing room to meet Mallory outside the stadium.

"Oh my god! Congratulations!" She swept you up in a hug, perfume wafting through your nostrils, your face was buried in her blonde hair. "First place? Hell yes!"

You scoffed. "Yeah..."

She dampened at the sight of you, facade falling slightly. "Oh, come on, kid. Let's go get some ice cream, my shout."

"I don't know," you hitched the bag up your shoulder, "I don't really feel like ice cream."

She sighed, stepping forward to grab your hand that clutch the trophy. "I'm so sorry he didn't come, okay, but-"

"Did he say why?"

"Well, he just said he was busy and he had to-"

"He's always too busy." You interrupted her again. "He doesn't give a shit about me. I haven't seen him in weeks, and he's the one that put me into this martial arts bullshit!"

Mallory's weakening facade was demolished, and she burst into tears. "I'm so sorry."

You sighed deeply, though it had been evident you had been crying you chastised her regardless. "Why are you crying?"

"Because," she wiped her tears away, shifting her large handbag further up her shoulder, "Because I'm sorry. I'm sorry for Dad, for how he is and how he treats you." You weren't sure how but it seemed like she got even more upset. "And I'm sorry that I was fortunate enough to be nourished by her growing up and you were too young to experience-"

"Whatever." You cut her off again, before she could finish, she was crying with sympathy, empathy, whatever the fuck it was that caused her tears. If she finished her sentence you knew you would be reduced to the same fate. "Can you please take me home? I'm done."

You glanced over to the side, a stadium bin free standing. You walked over, taking one last look at the trophy before you threw it into the trash can. You glanced at Mallory, and then walked to the car park where she had her vehicle.You didn’t look back.

~~~

The two of you had made your way home, driving in silence. You remembered that day vividly now. Mallory was 8 years older than you were, so she had her license, and her own car. A whole life of her own. She was in college, eager to drink and socialize with her friends.

And then something changed.

You had never been close when you were younger, but after that day she had made a gratuitous effort of being in your life. Of supporting you emotionally and providing wisdom and comfort when you needed it. Of being a constant in your life, even when you left for boarding school. She was the only lifeline you had in this family. She had taken the role of father, and mother, and adopted those qualities to try give you a better life.

And she had kept it.

You clutched the trophy in your hands, even tighter. She must have picked it out of the trash, put it in her handbag and then followed you to the car.

And she kept it all this time. Never telling you about it, never trying to offer it back to you. She kept it as a proud memento on a shelf in her living room for herself. Your throat tightened, your lip trembling as you felt tears gather in your eyes. You couldn't hold it back, irrevocable sadness you had been keeping at a simmer turned into full on misery. You wept for times passed, over memories you shared with Mallory and the reality that you would never create any more. You cried over the possibility of the suspicious circumstances that surrounded her death, that someone could have taken her away from you before her time.

And you cried because you were alone, once again.

#carpe noctem #kylo x reader #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren fanficiton #kylo ren au #kylo ren imagine #adam driver x reader

[that-glassbottomed-ego]

@thatflowerpower and @shes-outta-sight tagged me to answer these lovely questions! Thank youuuu ❤️

What was the last thing you read?

The most recent chapter of Looking For Space by the lovely @satans-helper, actually. Such a lovely story, I am obsessed.

Favourite movie?

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, and it has been since I was 8 years old :)

Favourite book?

Oh shit uhhh 100 Cupboards by N.D. Wilson

Dream date?

Take me to the woods/mountains and just sit with me. That’s it. That’s all I ask.

Do you have a crush?

I have a fat monster crush on my best friend and he doesn’t :))))

What are your hobbies?

Playing guitar, driving (?), watching movies lol

What’s your favorite time of day?

I love the evening. It’s freeing.

If you could look like anything, what would you look like?

Lana Del Ray

Are you romantic?

I’m such an asshole if I like you, but yessss I’m romantic lol

What’s your favorite type of weather?

I love overcast days, so every day in Seattle.

What do you like talking about?

Music, myself, music...

What are your turn ons?

When someone has the same passion for music that I do, and they can talk about it for hours, AND if they can play instruments with me.

Turn offs?

Car guys ://////// also if you’re just a dick to everyone then that’s not chill man

If you could get a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it?

“Ferris Bueller, you’re my hero.” -Cameron Frye on ma rib pls.

Do you have any pets?

I have two kitties, Lily and Jackson.

Dream job?

Bassisttttttttt or something in the film industry.

Dream place to live?

Uhhh Auckland NZ or somewhere in Virgina.

Dream vacation?

Scotland please.

Do you have any piercings?

I have 6. Two on each lobe, a helix, and a conch.

I’d you ever had kids, what would you name them?

I don’t think I want kids oh god.

What are your best traits?

I’m a good listener for how much I like to talk, I am extremely empathetic too.

What are your worst traits?

I am SO impatient it’s insane. Like so bad. And I procrastinate SO much. But I work best under pressure :)

What’s your worst fear?

The future like shit it freaks me the fuck out

What do you want to eat right now?

Nothinnnnng I’m not hungry

What’s the best vacation you’ve been on?

Wasn’t a “vacation” but when I went to the east coast for my 8th grade trip.

Favorite city?

Denver, Seattle ;), or Austin.

Favorite social media?

Tumblr because Instagram is shit

Favorite article of clothing?

My green Huntington Beach hoodie, or my John Mayer shirt.

Do you play any sports?

I used to do Taekwondo, hockey, golf, and volleyball, but I can’t anymore bc of my bodyyyy. I can occasionally ski, but even that hurts too bad now.

Favorite meal of the day?

I don’t like food :(((

What are you excited for?

The next full moon bc me and my crush are gonna do some witchy stuff heheh

Not excited for?

... I don’t think I’m not excited for anything...???

When was the last time you cried?

This weekend because my dad is shet

Dream house?

A shack in the woods that all the local kids avoid

What’s something you hate about the world?

That it is so damn hard to not be reachable lol. That it is SO HARD to be able to live life the way YOU want it. I just wanna live in the woods 😭😭😭

What’s something you love about the world?

Music :’)

What scents do you like?

My grandpa’s Salem cigarettes 🙃 patchouli.

What kind of sleeper are you?

The heaviest. I slept through a literal earthquake.

Are you a cat or dog person?

Very much a cat person. I can’t handle dogs but I love them so much.

How long would you survive in a zombie apocalypse?

I shit y’all not the only show I watched when I was 10 was Man vs Wild with Bear Grylls so I like to think I’d last long???? Maybe??

Are you trusting?

Too trusting LMAO

What fictional character do you identify with?

AJ in Empire Records.

What labels do you commonly get?

Funny, gay, talented

What song would be your life anthem?

Chesapeake by Better Oblivion Community Center

What issues are you dealing with?

Shitty dad, being in love with my best friend lol

How can someone win you over?

Mention ANYTHING music ?? Film geeks?? Yes.

What’s something about you people don’t know?

Not sure! I’m pretty open.

#tag game #about me

[askoz]

Do you have any headcanons for everyone's favorite australian?

you might’ve heard some of these already and i definitely don’t consider myself the Best with headcanons but like enjoy ig lol

- if theres an animal, he will touch it. No matter how dangerous. he probably owns a ton of them too. he has absolutely no fear when it comes to animals literally nothing could phase him. (except magpies.. of course)

- stans coles and he collected all the mini collectables Multiple times

- actually bought one of the red hands on ebay for like $600 probably

- fuck woolies

- has very strong opinions on ice cream & icy poles

- golden gaytimes god tier

- mad the paddle pop lion doesn’t have an actual name

- actually contacted the company about it but they got mad at him and threatened to call the police on him if he didn’t leave them alone

- blackcurrent is his favourite zooper dooper flavour (fairy floss is a backup)

- he enjoys kangaroo meat

- he and turkey are actually kinda friends now, or on good terms with each other at least

- he and the rest of Englands Kids all complain about how shitty England is as a father and they all keep a collective journal tallying all the times he missed out on good dad puns

- he and nz have a brother like relationship, they consider each other rivals and are extremely competitive esp against each other but like, at the end of the day they’re still there for each other

- he & wy have a great relationship & he is the best big bro Ever

- you bet your ASS he got so fucking depressed when steve irwin died

- picks on america bc of his shit as hell gun laws & they argue a Lot bc of it

- he’ll probably leave spiders in places you Wouldn’t Wanna Find Spiders if u like upset him or something so like don’t do that

- he Will tell tourists about drop bears and scare the hell out of them

- surprisingly, isn’t very enthusiastic about holidays, doesn’t celebrate halloween, does enjoy christmas though and has a barbie w the other australian micronations and nz down at the beach every year

- he gets Very lonely Very often its sad please give him friends

#hetalia #aph australia #australia hetalia #australia headcanons #axis powers hetalia #australia hcs #hetalia ask blog #aph #australia #answered #godscumsock #asks for mun

[swippicbenchhand1981-blog]

If you can't properly elaborate on what you're trying to say, it might be better to just remain silent and appear wiser. I definitely could just say "fuck you" and be done with it. But that's clearly not going to be progressive conversation. Let talk about how something that has yet to begin will end. You really want to, there are two years. But I starting to have my own, of years, it might even be. And while Twitter can be a trash fire most days, a lot of us communicate there. I in a few communities that congregate there via various hashtags. Comiccoven and DoYouEvenComicBook are a few. In NZ and Aussie the server would usually take my order, and bring my food and that was about it, i see my server like three times total during my meal and most of the time they were not talkative or particularly friendly. If i had a problem or anything i usually had to wait a good while, or go to the bar and ask for my server to come once they were free. In the US i see my server like 7 times They bring the 문경출장안마 menu, come back after a few mins to answer questions about the menu, come back again to take the orders. Cellulite is an inherited trait, so if your mother or an aunt has it, you're likely to have problems with it too. For the most part, cellulite isn't a symptom of overindulgence. You aren't being punished for a brownie eating marathon back when you were still in braces. My family came down to help us move and my dad even drove the moving truck for us to my home state 5 hours away. The day we turned in the apartment keys, I got in the car (thinking our relationship was actually turning around and super optimistic) and he told me he doesn't want to live with me in my home state, he had a flight to another state in an hour, and won't I please drive him to the airport? He left with the clothes on his back. I was so shocked and for weeks after I kept begging for clarification on what we were because he never broke up with me. Jon is captured by the wildlings and brought to Mance. Note that by this time, Mance was already on the move down the Milkwater. Therefore, the point 2 where Jon met Mance was somewhere close to the Giant's Stairs. The best research into microdosing so far, though, actually comes from here in Australia. Macquarie University cognitive scientist Dr Vince Polito tested 63 people who were already microdosing at the beginning and end of his six week study. They showed significant reductions in depression and stress levels over the microdosing period, which Dr Polito told me is with reports that microdosing benefits general mental wellbeing Dr Polito study, which was published this week in the journal PLOS ONE also found a slight increase in neuroticism, a result replicated in another study from Edith Cowan University in Perth. I get them saying Hallie didn't wear it well because, tbh i don't think she "fits" their brand. They want that looks that scream "high class" and "I've got money" and not IG GLAM makeup, and i feel like and that's not really Hallies thing (no shade). They could've been nicer or not even tried to work with her, but I'm not surprised it didn't work out.. And also it clear that they don wanna show all the dlc yet. They didn do that with season 1. But they still need sales for their season pass so they cashed in on the movie hype and revealed broly and gogeta. Usually what a balanced raid team looks for is for what kind of utility a class brings to help boost everyone collective DPS, much like how older WoW raids would have to consider between Mark of the Wild, Kings, Might, PW: Fort, Imp Aura, Shaman Totems and other effects. There is a cap of players one can bring to a raid, which is 10. There are nine 문경출장안마 classes, and often people will want to stuff the group with as many elementalists as possible, and maybe two chronomancers.

[allskynostars]

1, 4, 13, 17! 💕

1. favourite place in your country?

Queenstown. 100%. Now I’m not a South Islander, I’ve lived in Wellington my whole life. But I have a brother who lives in Oamaru so me, my dad and my other brother went down south to pick him up once and did a little mini tour of the South Island as me and Daniel had never been. And let me tell you, it was amazing. Just google Queenstown, it’s out of this world. I’m super under appreciative of NZ as a whole and I know it, but definitely not of that place. So whenever anyone asks me where they should go that’s where I tell them, and that’s where I’ll tell you! (Don’t get me wrong go to Wellington too it’s great if I’m there I’ll show you around but 😂 prioritise Queenstown okay)

4. favourite dish specific for your country?

Traditional Maori food isn’t something I’ve really eaten a whole lot of in my life, I’ve had a hangi once and didn’t really enjoy it. But Maori (fry) bread is amazing, though. Amazing. My friend used to make it for us and bring it to school and we would gorge ourselves on it, so bad for you 😂

But I’m more into the sweet side of our foods so Pavlova is my fucking jam! And also lollie cake. Damn I miss lollie cake 😩

13. does your country (or family) have any specific superstitions or traditions that might seem strange to outsiders?

I’m kind of struggling with this one. I myself don’t feel like NZ is a very “traditional” country as it’s still a baby really, and also it’s been a while. There are a whole heap of Maori traditions but again, I’m not Maori so I can’t really comment without worrying I’ll offend someone or get it wrong! (I have a brother whose half Maori I really should know more)

If anyone of my other kiwis wanna help me out here, I’m probably just mind blanking 😂 is it just a kiwi thing to drink a yardie at your 21st? (I did not, fuck that).

17. are you interested in your country’s history?

Definitely! The history is rich, even though it hasn’t been a “colonised” country for all too long. And the good thing about NZ is they are big pushers for their own history in school, as they should be. Although not so much when you reach High School. (At least not for me). It’s amazing how much you realise you do know about the history of your own country as soon as you leave it! And how much more interesting it is when you’re telling someone who has no idea 😂

💖💖

[growlithe-and-company]

Wooo can’t believe i’m 20? Like that’s a thing now? 2 decades I’ve been on this Earth. How time flies... So in celebration of turning 20 I think I’m going to post 20 things that I like about myself and my life.

1. I actually really like my lips and smile. Only thing I’m super vain about.

2. I love my eyes as well. They’re a pretty hazel, greyish green and brown. 

3. I have got such a cute cat! Maggie is her name. She’s easily my most favourite thing about my life. She’s made me so happy.

4. I have two really awesome friends. One being @miss-stary-eyes, we met here on Tumblr years ago.. lost count of how many years, at least 4 years ago. We did a rp together, I remember it! I played Loki and she played an OC called Eona, and Loki was teaching her magic (and he of course fell in love with her). Ahh we’ve been through so much, my dear, and I’m so glad you’re in my life. The second, or really first friend (since I met her 8 years ago) is my dear best friend Laurena, who isn’t on Tumblr but she has always been there for me and her and I share so many amazing memories. Don’t know where I’d be without my two favourite girls!

5. I have a tongue piercing that I’m low key obsessed with? It’s such a great little fidget thing to distract me in stressful times. I just roll the top ball on the roof of my mouth or slip the bottom of the bar across my lips (not smacking against my teeth, that’d be dreadful)

6. My town in Animal Crossing is pretty damn gorgeous if I do say so myself. I’ve spent months working on it and it’s come out really nice. No way near finished, but it’s looking damn good.

7. I live almost entirely by myself. Between work and his fiance, my dad is rarely at home. So while he still pays for everything, I get to reap the rewards! I love being alone, and having an entire house to myself. FUCK WEARING PANTS.

8. I know how to knit, which is definitely a fun skill to have. I’ve knit myself two full sized blankets, and several dozen scarves. I’d love to learn to knit a jumper one day, that is my goal.

9. Ever since moving out of my mums place I’ve developed a really great relationship with my sister. I’m so thankful for that because her and I get along really great when we’re not in each others spaces.

10. I really applied myself these past two years and got 3 courses done. Certificate III in Tourism, another cert III in Travel, and then a diploma of travel and tourism! I’m so proud of myself for accomplishing these.

11. My room is currently my nerd station. I have several posters hanging up (my fave being my Iron Man poster, but I also love my Captain America poster that’s in the front room) and I have several other little nerdy knick knacks laying around. I love it, my little nerd paradise.

12. My hair grows pretty quickly! I had my hair cut super short at the start of the year, it was shaved on the sides and slightly shaggy on the top. Currently I have it pulled back in a loose ponytail, all of it tied back, and about 6 inches of hair in the pony!

13. I struggled with this.. but I finally got through my learning drivers licence and am now on my provisional. It took me 7 tries to pass my practical test, and luckily only one try to pass my hazard perception test. BUT IT’S DONE! I’m on the home stretch now. 2 years time and I’ll have my full licence booiiiiii

14. Ok, this is gonna get deep and borderline triggering. So I put it in the tags for trigger warning but this is your second warning. When I was 14, I tried to kill myself. Twice actually. First time I just cried and then got mad (at myself, at the doctors for helping me, at my mum). But the second time really shook me. The nurses were cool to me, the doctors didn’t seem to care, I knew I was wasting their time, resources, and energy because I did this on purpose, whereas there’s probably someone else who needs them more than me. I felt like a piece of shit after the second attempt and it really shook me to the core. It’s been 6 years since then.. Wow 6 years, that’s insane. I’m so proud of myself, I’ve made serious progress. I get a little depressed now and again, and I’m a little lonely. But I’m ok, I have things in my life that I’m so happy about, and things that have happened since my attempt that have made everything so worth it. It gets better, it truly does. 

15. I have got such a nice little book collection going on. I don’t read anymore, I wish I still did. I keep buying books to hopefully spark my old reading bug back to life. So I’ll probably have a huge bookshelf filled with books that I don’t read haha. Actually, that’s a lie. I do still read. Every year I re-read The Hobbit. It’s my favourite book and I love it with all my heart. I have a signed copy by Bombur and Bofur! James (Bofur) forgot to sign the book (I asked them to write a quote on top of the signature) and when I realised with Steven (Bombur) that James forgot to sign it I kinda just sighed and said oh well. But Steven said “oh nah, we’ll sort it.” -leans over and smacks James on the arm with the book- “Oi, ya egg, you forgot to sign it!” James laughed and apologised, and quickly signed it. That is a memory I will never forget, seeing Peter call James an egg and smacking him, it was the highlight of my comic con trip.

16. Speaking of comic con! I met another famous dwarf at a previous comic con. Dean O’Gorgeous, er I mean O’Gormon. I got a photo done with him and boiiiii I told him an awful joke to break the ice. Lemme share it with you. “Why does Gandalf walk funny?”  “I don’t know, why?” “Because he has crystal balls...” Yeahhhhhh I said that to him with a straight face and he did that forced laugh you do when a kid tells you a totally not funny joke but you gotta laugh because you don’t wanna hurt their feelings. Anyway that was awkward as fuck, so we took the photo and my god he was so warm like hoo boy like a furnace but yeah awkward as fuck don’t know why I told you guys because yikes I couldn’t get out of there fast enough hahaha.

17. My cousin, Hannah, sent me a little letter a few weeks ago completely out fo the blue. She said she missed me, and asked when I was coming back to NZ to visit, and if I could come to her birthday. Then she told me about her day and how her first year at school went. She’s 6! I can’t believe how old she’s gotten. I cried when I read the letter, it was so sweet. I wish I had the funds to go visit her and her brother, they’re definitely my favourite cousins out of the four (sorry Noah and Addi :P)

18. Oh boy, 18. Now for those who don’t know, in Australia the drinking age is 18. I went to my friends 18th party, which was a week before my 18th, and I basically celebrated my birthday as well. I got mighty drunk, and had a great time. I made some questionable decisions, but it’s ok, sometimes in life you gotta step outside your comfort zone/see what your drinking limit is before you’re giving a guy you just met a lap dance! But that night was actually lots of fun. It was a couple weeks before I moved out of mums place and traveled across the country to live with my dad. I was all kinds of stressed out, and feeling very sad to be leaving my mama. So that night was a huge relief to me. I got to just sit around with a bunch of great people while we idly drank and talked about stuff. And then I promptly peed myself which caused everyone to laugh their asses off and almost piss themselves. So yeah pretty fun and memorable night!

19. My dads fiance, Fiona, is honestly such an awesome person! They met earlier in the year, and are engaged now (they’re really in love and it’s so cute). She’s got a fat cat called Oscar and I LOVE HIM.

20. Ahh 20... 2 whole decades of life. I’ll admit, I don’t really think I have a whole lot to show for my 20 years. Lots of little things really. But I know I’ll make an impact on my life, probably next year. With dad getting married and moving in with her (she owns her house, dad rents his) I’ll definitely have to find my own place to stay. But it’s ok, it’ll all work itself out. I’ll make something of myself in the coming years. I’m not worried (ahaha I’ll keep saying that till I believe it) I’ve made it this far, and for that, I’m proud of myself.

#I'm 20! #Happy birthday to me #This list was harder than I thought it'd be #Trigger warning #tw #I've done a lot in my 20 years #mostly in the last 5 years though #since I've been able to express myself more

[mxmollusca]

The Totally Normal for Rhys Darby Tumblr Association presents: Jesus fucking Christ of course it is

(The Cryptid Factor ep. 72)

Buttons: "Your bedside lamp, just once again to confirm your nerdity, your bedside lamp is a UFO abducting a cow?"

Rhys: "Yeah. I bought it on Etsy."

Don't clip whole videos from The Cryptid Factor. Click here to support The Cryptid Factor over on Patreon.

#throw me into your spaceship and probe me #i bought it on itsee #alexa play playlist number 6 #totally normal for rhys darby tumblr association #nz i wanna fuck your dad #rhys darby: earth's hottest cryptid #the cryptid factor #rhys darby #ofmd

[lauramarlingnatural]

the 23 question game

tagged by the always lovely @onceuponamirror xx

Rules: Answer the questions and tag 11 people to do it!

1. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

probably Ireland but i’m pretty content with where I live, but I want to move somewhere more rural in my country

2. Do you wear any jewelry? If yes, what?

not really. sometimes i wear a crescent moon necklace one of my best friends got me though

3. How do you spell this word: Colour or color?

colour. because im not American

4. What is one stereotype about where you live (country)?

a TRUE stereotype is that we know everyone. like we may not personally KNOW everyone, but i bet you there will be at most like, three degrees of separation between most nzers especially if you’ve lived here all your life

5. Do you sleep with your closet door closed or open?

closed! i actually can’t sleep if the door is open and often even have to actually lock it otherwise my Anxiety won’t let me sleep

6. What laptop/computer/phone do you use for tumblr?

my laptop and phone.. my laptop is toshiba and my phone is an iphone 6?? is that what was meant by this question??

7. What makes you bored?  

seeing the exact same goddamned arguments on my dash, over and over and over,

8. What is your favorite four legged creature and why?

cats. they have the floof and the pizzazz and they all have different personalities and when a cat Accepts You it is. the greatest feeling.

9. If you could live in one fictional universe, what would that universe be?

hp post-second wizarding war but i would be Heavily involved in political activism because uhh no that’s not my idea of a happy ending

10. Sweet or spicy?

neither. SALTY. i’m a Salt Dad (tm). *pours salt directly in my mouth* this is fine, dude

11. What do you order from McDonalds?

cheeseburger and chicken nuggets w sweet and sour sauce. just never their milkshakes their milkshakes are fucking CURSED they taste like sweetened dirt it’s fucking DESPICABLE 

12. Favorite type of milkshake?

snickers bar flavour with bourbon or rum!!! boozy milkshakes are my Life

13. Curly fries or regular fries?

curly i like the way the potato curl

14. What was the weirdest text you have ever sent to someone?

there are. too many. ill try to find a recent example...

“Do we have an economic explanation for why hells pizza continues to ruin garlic bread?”

that’s not THAT weird but the weirdest from the last two weeks, lol

15. What was your laziest moment?

me and one of my best friends were living together when we were 15 and her mum was out of town so we were getting wasted everyday and anyway we were so high we kept forgetting to go grocery shopping and we were 15 so we had like fuck all money (esp bc we spent it all on booze and drugs) so uhh. we just ate uncooked spaghetti. like we crunched on it. as if it were a snack

16. Do you like rollercoasters?

yeah i guess but i think there is only like one rollercoaster in nz and its the only one ive ever been on and it was Okay but uhh idk if that’s enough experience with them to know if i like them lol

17. Last time you threw up?

i had the flu last year, i dont tend to throw up because of alcohol or anything though (even if i desperately need to, its v annoying,)

18. Have you ever been catcalled? At what age?

"have i ever” try p much every time ive been in public for most of my fucking life. and idk what age, but i hit puberty real young so im gonna say probably about 9 or 10?? that’s when i started noticing and recognizing sexual advances toward me for what they were, at least. 

19. What was the best pasta you have ever eaten?

one of my best friends makes this AMAZING chicken pesto spaghetti and we got incredibly baked and she made a massive pot of it and istg it was one of the happiest moments of my Life lmao

20. If you could make all pancakes into one shape, what shape would you choose?

i do not care about the shape.. i am eating them.. not looking at them... but uhh maybe the shape of VERY FUCKING MASSIVE because i like pancakes a whole lot

21. If you were an animal, what animal would you be?

probably a cat but one of those cats that’s a good therapy cat and is hypoallergenic. kind and loyal and gentle but also kind of solitary and v Sleepy all the time

alternatively an animal that is fiercely protective bc yeah same

22. Are these questions weird?

not really

23. What is the weirdest question in this tag?

#19, so much pasta in my life how was i meant to choose,

okay i tag -- @reddieeddiespaghetti @utterlyinsane1995 @burberrycanary @steve-harringtwin @trashrichie @ohkingsteve @meerareeed @heartunsettledsoul @acitrusmoon @maltedchocolatemilkshakes @beaniecrownjones apologies if you’ve been tagged and as usual if you don’t wanna do this feel free to ignore! <3

#things im tagged in #cw csa #tbh for the catcalling question sigh #cw alcohol #cw drug mention #cw food #emetophobia //

[soulofawander]

Hello, I was tagged by @valhallstruevalkyrie @tarinya-quinn @opeths @leafabulous thank you so much ^-^!!

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people. THE LAST: 1. Drink: Water 2. Phone call: My dad 3. Text message: Allie, @freaky-ghost 4. Song you listened to: Opeth's Cusp of eternity, it's so freaking good :) 5. Time you cried: Few days ago HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: no 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: No 8. Been cheated on: not that I know of 9. Lost someone special: yeah 10. Been depressed:  well, nothing diagnosed but you know. 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: never LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12. green 13. blue 14. yellow IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: of course 16. Fallen out of love: I've fallen IN love  17. Laughed until you cried: ohhh yes 18. Found out someone was talking about you: found out? no, but you know, people like to talk so that happens, whether it's positive or negative. 19. Met someone who changed you: hells yeah I did 20. Found out who your friends are: I know who my friends are 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: actually now, yes GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: like, most of them 23. Do you have any pets: no 24. Do you want to change your name: I don't think so. though François-Xavier could have been my name, and that's cool, but I'm fine with my current name. 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: Funeral. yup.. 26. What time did you wake up: 6h30am 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: chatting with Allie ^_^ 28. Name something you can’t wait for: Travelling again soon!!! 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: A week or two 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: having infinite travel money

31. What are you listening right now: I'm Watching Friends

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Thomas, yes. 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: Disrespect 34. Most visited Website: this, facebook, Instagram etc etc. LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. Mole/s: no? 36. Mark/s: surgery scars 37. Childhood dream: Being an interpreter 38. Haircolor: Brown 39. Long or short hair:Longish 40. Do you have a crush on someone: fuck yes, though it's more than a crush 41. What do you like about yourself: my language learning skills I guess. 42. Piercings: none 43. Bloodtype: O Positive 44. Nickname: Vince 45. Relationship status: Taken.  46. Zodiac: Scorpio 47. Pronouns: Just call me by my name,  I don't really know how to answer that question  48. Favorite TV Show: Family guy, Smallville, The Flash, Arrow, Dexter, The Blacklist and so many more 49. Tattoos: I have 2 on my left arm 50. Right or left hand: Left-handed 51. Surgery: Right hand and foot, and maybe brain eventually if I decide to do that 52. Hair dyed in different color: nah 53. Sport: Basketball for the last 20 years 55. Vacation: Iceland, or Germany, Scotland, NZ, AUS, US, just everywhere, Fuck, I wanna travel 56. Pair of trainers: no idea what that is MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: grapes 58. Drinking: water. 59. I’m about to: finish this post 61. Waiting for: My next trip to Orlando 62. Want: @freaky-ghost 63. Get married: no idea, it depends on a bunch of stuff. 64. Career: anything that allows me to travel and learn languages. PLEASE 65. Hugs or kisses: both, equally nice. 66. Lips or eyes: eyes but lips too 67. Shorter or taller: I'd have to go with shorter only because I've never seen a woman that's taller than I am. Or even men are rarely my height. 68. Older or younger: don't care about age but like, it's gotta be legal you dig? 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: people are beautiful 71. Sensitive or loud: that doesn't mean anything, these words aren't even antonyms, I don't know what I'm supposed to say. 72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship, hands down 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: anti-conformist, traveller, spontaneous. HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: No 75. Drank hard liquor: Yes 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: No 77. Turned someone down: yeah??  78. Sex in the first date: ? 79. Broken someone’s heart: I hope not 80. Had your heart broken: yeah 81. Been arrested: Nah 82. Cried when someone died: yeah 83. Fallen for a friend: when I was younger DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: yes. because that's the way to go. people have got to know everyone has something to offer the world and that even in periods of doubts, everyone can be great and do something beautiful and just BE beautiful and nice and positive. 85. Miracles: universal coincidences yes. 86. Love at first sight: yes 87. Santa Claus: nah 88. Kiss on the first date: yes 89. Angels: yeah OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: lots of good friends 91. Eyecolor: Brown as crap hahahahahaha 92. Favorite movie: I watched Keeping up with the Joneses and it's freaking funny.

20 people to tag, okay here we go: @freaky-ghost @hobbitsmind @hippiehooperlove @scarsoftheshatteredsky @finnishtrolls @cnatab @blodbranddod @onneni @mathiasismywhore @theweirdgirlthatlikesmetal @nebraskan-metalhead @mirror-sword-and-shield @sonador-reveur @xochitl-metal @vadzianik @type-ho-negative @ollis-beard @minhyriath @the-midnight-knows-it-well @ebbandflow @prideandperdition

 That's if you want to, of course :)

#I was tagged #Thank You #merci #tag games #yayyyyyy

[blue-eyed-bloodstains]

**GENERAL JUNK** How many people do you know with the same first name as you?

none right now but growing up through school once I hit middle school, my name was so common I’d have classes with two other Morgan’s so we’d all have to be called with our last name initial during attendance. it was annoying. 

What in your opinion is the best love song ever written?

no way to answer that

What were you doing at this time yesterday?

watching tv and having dinner

Have you done anything drastic to alter your physical appearance recently?

not since summer 2021 when I completely shaved my head...seriously debating doing it again. wanna dye my hair but my hair doesn’t take box dye too well, plus I need at least a good haircut and shearers to thin it out so maybe it actually will for once

Is there anything bothering you right now?

yes. everything. bad.

Are you wearing shoes right now?

no

How old were you in 2005?

I was 13

Pro-life/Pro-choice?

it’s complicated...I mean it’s a woman’s choice, and there are circumstances where it may be a better choice but it’s not for me to say. I guess I’m 50/50 cause that’s realistic 

Are you wearing anything purple?

no

Do you live east or west of the Mississippi River?

east

Have you ever been to Chicago?

briefly

Do you drive a stick-shift?

no, I’ve tried several times just can’t get the hang of it more than a few minutes so no way can I go on a road.

Have you kissed anyone who’s name started with A, K, M, or T?

A, T

Do you have a sister?

step sister by marriage

Where are you right now?

home alone as fucking usual...

Do you straighten your hair?

no need to, it’s always been naturally straight

Do you have a gym membership?

no

Can you count to 10 in another language?

yeah

Is there a calendar in the room you are in?

yeah

Is it possible you could be pregnant?

nope

How long is it until your birthday?

four days

Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you?

I used to but no

Was your mother married when she had you?

no

Would you ever go skinny dipping with your #1?

you mean my fiance? possibly

**LASTS** What was the last thing you drank?

Diet Pepsi

Last thing you ate?

small bag of Ruffles Cheddar chips

What was the last movie you watched in theaters?

Jurassic World: Dominion

What was the last thing you watched on tv?

currently watching See No Evil on ID channel (crime docs/shows)

Who was the last person to text you?

mom

Who was the last person to call you?

mom

Where was the last place you went?

Wawa

When did you last hang out with your 22nd phone contact?

most of my contacts aren’t people I hang with so...no idea

Who was the last person to comment you?

on FB or...? 

When was the last time you kissed someone?

bout three weeks ago when he was home for a week from the job in NZ..

When was the last time you stayed out all night?

can’t remember

When was the last time you went to Walmart?

few months ago

What is the last digit of your phone number?

0When was the last time you were in the car for more than an hour?

my appt at the cancer institute at the end of March. it’s in Hershey, so the Uber took a little over an hour to get there from here

Where was your last vacation to?

LA in August 2021

Who was the last person you rode in a car with?

Uber driver

When was the last time you had to be up before 7 AM?

not really be up, still was but making sure he was up to go to work at the shop when he was home last...

Who was the last person(s) you took a photo with?

I guess my fiance

When was the last time you saw your dad?

Thanksgiving last year

Why did you cry the last time you did?

just half an hour ago due to finding out my fiance can’t come home for a week on Saturday so he won’t be home at all until the 27th...so...

When was the last time someone gave you a compliment?

my fiance usually does

When was the last time you locked your keys in the car/locked yourself out?

never locked my keys in the car but I have locked myself out of the house before but it’s been so long I can’t remember

What was the last thing you spent money on?

DoorDash earlier

When did you last see your #2?

I hate these numbers...idk who my #2 is

**FINISH THE SENTENCE** I should probably:

find a way to get fucking wasted. they won’t know anyway.

When I can’t sleep:

I just stay up until I can pass out

I need more:

money

Right now I would love:

him to be home...

My last kiss was:

with him

If I could, I would:

drink my fucking ass off to numb right now

When I’m pissed:

I curse and cry

I am listening to:

Stan by Eminem feat. Dido

I never leave the house without:

phone

I believe in:

ghosts

I am wearing:

jeans

I tend to daydream when:

never

My grandma is:

in heaven...

After this I am going to:

keep going to distract as much as possible

#survey #about me #random #bored

[bruhnushka]

Tagging game!

Tagged by @grannyweatherwax-nz

Rules: tag 20 people (absolutely not lmao i don't have that kind of effort I'm)

Nicknames: anni (its my nickname my real name isn't used online) babushka, dumbass, greek tofu (inside joke)

Zodiac: pisces

Height: 5′2 (im tragically short stop making fun of me)

Last thing I googled: words that rhyme with fuck on my phone (i was writing something for my friend) and b minor chord easy on the computer bc i was trying to teach myself good for you. 

Favorite artist: emo shit, and musical shit. i mean if u don't count musicals, probably tøp or panic! or gob or something. 

Song stuck in my head: pacience ye fe 

Last movie I saw: I'm currently watching mummy w my dad at home but i just came back from watching the big sick. IT WAS SO GOOD AND I WILL FIGHT U ON THIS BUT URDU IS JUST HINDI WITH A DIFFERENT NAME GODDAMN PAKISTANIS. 

Why did I choose my url: i feel like this is obvious enough but i really fucking like hamilton and laf is one of my favs and so...,,,, baguette. 

Do I have any other blogs: an aesthetics blog i don't really manage anymore 

What did your last relationship teach you : long term doesn't work, people can be shitty, you should think before you talk. 

Religious or spiritual: i mean......... ish???? my moms catholic and my dads hindu but i never really fell into either categories??? i guess I'm spiritual in a way i believe there is a life after death and that entities do exist but i don't know what??? idk.

Favorite color: black like my soul. or like pastels i really fucking like pastels. 

Average hours of sleep: 5 on a good night but usually 2-3. I'm a monster. 

Lucky number: 11 or 12 its always been either of those. 

Favorite characters: OH FUCK UHM. angelica, lafayette, michael mell, evan hansen, lito rodriguez, nomi marks, jessica jones, t’challa, annalise keating, oliver hampton, sam winchester, castiel, i could go on and on but i literally cant remember any other shows rn so.  

How many blankets I sleep with: 1 lmao aint nobody got time to set up more???

Dream job: ok so i low-key wanna do standup comedy, or be in a musical/play, be a lawyer, or be like a bio-chemist

Tagging: @love-doesnt-discriminate @that-kitty-dork @one-true-houselight just tagged the suggestions i guess

[terafonne]

tagged by: gay mom #4 lina @everythingthatmatters
rules - you must answer these 85 statements and tag 20 (ish) people.
tagging: @onemanbellarmy @c-cosette @xyzxyzxyzx @graywaeren @vulcanupthatbitch @tooquirkytolose @snowsheba @susiecarter uhhhh heck im blanking honestly whoever else wants to THE LAST
1.drink: korean rice punch
2. phone call: mom
3. text message: mom
4. song you listened to: into the west - peter hollens cover
5. time you cried: ?? dunno. i think it was a rly angsty superbat fic 6. dated someone twice: never
7. kissed someone and regretted it: yup, last august
9. lost someone special: yeah
10. been depressed: yeah
11. gotten drunk and thrown up: no 3 favorite colors
12. soft pink
13. blue
14. silver (trans colors woo) IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU
15. made new friends: yes
16. fallen out of love: no
17. laughed until you cried: no
18. found out someone was talking about you: no
19. met someone who changed you: yes
20. found out who your friends are: yes?? they r my friends??? 
21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: yes GENERAL
22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them?
23. do you have any pets: two silly cats!
24. do you want to change your name: nah
25. what did you do for your last birthday: family dinner, and my dad bought a cake w lactose so .-.
26. what time did you wake up: 9am
27. what were you doing at midnight last night: playing battle cats
28. name something you can’t wait for: getting cats a cat tree
29. when was the last time you saw your mom: like an hour ago
31. what are you listening to right now: normal house sounds??
32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: yes
33. something that is getting on your nerves: do you know how much dairy is in everything. butter and whipped cream and pizza and sandwiches and i just wanna eat ice cream fuck this shit ಠ_ಠ 
34. most visited website: ao3/spacebattles/tumblr/reddit
35. hair colour: black
36. long or short hair: short
37. do you have a crush on someone: nuh
38. what do you like about yourself: uhhhhhhh. generosity?
39. piercings: ear lobes
40. blood type: either O or B
41. nickname: no
42. relationship status: qpp w zeph
43. zodiac: leo
44. pronouns: she/her
45. favourite tv show: leverage!!!
46. tattoos: no
47. right or left handed: right
48. surgery: once i got a fish hook in my ear
49. piercing: see question 39?
50. sport: no except maybe carrying my team in comp ow
51. vacation: nz & jp
52. pair of trainers: hey england the fuck does this mean MORE GENERAL
53. eating: ye...s??? i... do that?
54. drinking: yes i drink stuff? ???? what does this mean
55. i’m about to: read worm fic
56. waiting for: uh. motivation? a job? return of my fucks?
57. want: more cats?
58. get married: tax purposes
59. career: ????????????????????????????????? WHICH IS BETTER
60. hugs or kisses: hug
61. lips or eyes: eyes
62. shorter or taller: dunno
63. older or younger: dunno
64. nice arms or nice stomach: arms? i guess?
65. hook up or relationship: i have no data to analyze
66. troublemaker or hesitant: ^ HAVE YOU EVER:
67. kissed a stranger: no
68. drank hard liquor: i took a sip of sake in jp is that hard ?
69. lost glasses/contact lenses: hahahahaha dude so many
70. turned someone down: no
71. sex on the first date: no
72. broken someone’s heart: no
73. had your heart broken: no
74. been arrested: no
75. cried when someone died: yes
76. fallen for a friend: yes DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
77. yourself: not really
78. miracles: no
79. love at first sight: no
80. santa claus: no
81. kiss on the first date: if it feels right
82. angels: no OTHER:
83. current best friend’s name: i call her zeph online 
84. eye colour: brown
85. favorite movie: currently moana

#about me

[swearronchanel]

As per request, 2.05

You guys have been so freaking sweet and kind  to me with your feedback since I started making these ridiculous posts, it’s insane but I love it!❣️ I literally started these as a joke because my one friend who watches call the midwife didn’t pick up the phone (and bc I was under the influence whoops hahaha it happens) but now I have so much fun posting every week! I’m sure I won’t stop these any time soon (what will I do when this series is over until Christmas? Yikes lets not talk about it yet)  Anyways @marialujan22 requested I rewatch and post for 2x5 & shit it’s been a while since I’ve watched series 2 but I couldn’t say no! Besides Im in a good mood because I have 10 days till spring break & only like 8 weeks left in the semester so here we go ..

idk if I’m mentally prepared for this

THE BIKE SONG I LOVE IT

“Somewhere far away, scientist we’re working on a magic pill, rumored to make pregnancy a case of choice..” Hell yea birth control, deff a magic pill in my opinion

Crazy that it took 3 series for the pill to become a thing & then there was still lame ass government guidelines

Jenny Lee! lol I often forget about her sorry not sorry, I liked her but she left. ya no importa

I love how “mature jenny” still narrates even though her character is never even mentioned anymore #letmenarrate lol jk I like Vanessa Redgrave’s voice

“Meanwhile other scientists were trying to send humans to the moon” fuck yea Hidden Figures

If CtM went up until 1969 that’d be lit, like the episode on mad men when they watched the moon landing! Just replace them with nuns and nurses and babies & replace the liquor for tea 😂

Shit I’ve said typed so much already

SISTER MJ💕 I wanna smack myself she’s brushing her teeth & I thought of that stupid toothbrush song from last week’s episode kill me

Nora’s pregnant again uh oh

Cynthia! SISTER E! Jane! It’s been so long

My bby Trixie 💕😍 I miss her pin curls! But now she’s serving those 60s looks so I’m here for it all

“Take that off this minute before you go to hell” LMAO TRIX YOU CANT TELL KIDS THAT

lol who am I kidding I would’ve said the same

I love sister Monica Joan, id quote everything she ever says but that’s too much work

Vicar’s wife? But who was the vicar?

LMAO WAIT DOESNT SISTER MJ FAKE A HEART ATTACK??

YES SHE DID IM DEAD I LOVE HER, WELL IT WAS LIKE ANGINA BUT IDC STILL FUNNY CAUSE SHE DIDNT WANNA GO

PRECIOUS SISTER BERNADETTE 😭💕

I STILL CANT BELIEVE MY BBY SHELAGH WAS A NUN, ITS SO STRANGE TO GO BACK AND SEE HER IN THE HABIT, LIKE YOURE PREGNANT NOW, WITH DR TURNERS BABYYY!!

anyone else really wanted to know how she was going to tell Sister Julienne “um i was already done with being a nun and now im love sick, I can’t stop thinking about Dr Turner so  I gotta ditch this habit”

damn I feel so bad like she did not want another baby & had no choice but to deal with it

No Jenny, tea is not gonna help right now

And heres the lady that scammed her

How much is 2 guinnis ? Idk how to spell that u already know I’m an ignorant American

Did she really tell a married woman keep her legs closed? It Doesn’t even matter if she was married or not like who are u anyway?? I would’ve bitch slapped her too, good for u Nora

Sister MJ saying her horoscope was right, we are the same😭

Wtf is spotted dick? Also I laughed because I’m immature Lmaoo

Sister J eating the pudding, she knows how to get to sister MJ 😂 I love them

Trixie teasing Jane about the Reverend lol aw

“I can’t knit I had a heart attack this morning” ME TRYING TO GET OUT OF THINGS

8 kids in one bedroom though yikes

Cute and classic bedroom moments 😭💕

“Naughty version of eggnog” like coquito? Lol nah, coquito is the bomb

IM CRYING SISTER BERNADETTE LOOKING IN THE DOORWAY

THIS BREAKS MY HEART EVERYTIME

THEY FUCKING CLOSED THE DOOR ON HER, MY BBY. I WANT TO HUG HER 💔💔💔 she deserves the world

Who is this irrelevant ass vicars wife? “Cherrio”

I’m so sorry Nora

Ew wtf a rat just bit the baby?

“Just tell me what you want sister” SHE WANTS YOU DOCTOR

THE WAY THEYRE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER OMG IM SHOOK

WHAT THE HELL TIM WHY DID YOU RUIN THE MOMENT ?!

sister MJ wants to roll bandages, make it happen! lol I love that Cynthia and Jane unwrap them all for her 😭

Aww i love babies !! but that one with a funny nose uhh

SISTER BERNADETTE BLOWING THE WHISTLE AND CHEERING 💕 MY HEART SHE IS SO ADORABLE

Aw I wish Trixie could have another scene going through old pictures and maybe share old stories with the new nurses💔 unlikely but you know I can hope. SHE DID HAVE THAT PHOTO OF HER AND CYNTHIA ON HER MIRROR LAST SUNDAY💕

“I’m a woman on a mission” beatrix, light in my life

Curly locks lol, when I was younger I  was called Shirley temple and when I dyed my hair I was called Goldie locks.. mind u that lasted into high school 😂 I’m staying blonde for good though, I don’t think I can pull off anything else

DONT GO OUT WITH HIM TRIXIE, HE’S TRASH

Laura Main’s angelic voice ✨👼🏼

who am I kidding she’s an angel

you know what would be fun and a dream? to go out with the ctm cast and get drunk and take trashy snapchat videos singing

Gin & a hot bath??

Trixie looked him up lol, good move

BUT HE’S STILL TRASH and an asshole

Pickle knife ?

again, this irrelevant vicar’s wife? vete ya

Everyone thinks Sister MJ is senile but she knows what’s up with Sister Bernadette..

“..but is all blank sadness and continued tears”  MY HEART💔 sister Bernadette/Shelagh has spent the majority of this show crying/being sad/distressed ugh!! Laura Main plays is beautifully but I CRY!? Let her be uninterruptedly happy please 😭💕

she (and helen) ruined me tbh, I used to have dignity

Is Jenny really naive or is she just pretending not to understand??

SEE SISTER BERNADETTE IS ON SCREEN AGAIN & IS UPSET

“I almost wish I was physically ill..” okay bRb CRYIN. THIS IS WHY I CANT WATCH THESE OLDER EPISODES I CRY TOO MUCH, I DONT LIKE TO SEE HER UNHAPPY

Remember when I started the show and didn’t know it was gonna ruin my life? Or before I grew attached? Yea me neither lmaoo those were the days when I thought downton killed me. I Didn’t know what was coming 😂 still love downton though rip #downtonmoviepls

Knitting needles?? aye dios mio

HA GREMLIN TIM AND JACK

Again how much is a gunniea and how do I spell it? I could google it but I’m busy here

She was willing to sell her wedding ring and risk her life for an unprofessional abortion. DO YOU SEE THE ISSUE? This isn’t just the a period drama either. Shit is real

“Are babies more valued because they can survive or do they survive beside they are more valued?” good question sis

lol Jane was so sweet and just bounced with no word

AT LEAST I KNOW WHERE SHE WENT THOUGH, THANKS FOR THAT NZ CUT SCENE

Trixie being a babe and getting ready to do her nails 😍💕 I wish I could do mine well but I’m trash and so I pay to get them done

The cross cutting in this scene is crazy but so well done (& yes look at me using real terms lol, I took a Music in film class last semester and had to know editing techniques 😂, I did fairly well too)

I really don’t know how she survived this

My bby trixie looking gorgeous as per usual. I love her so much, Helen u kill me

NO COÑFIO TRIXIE, HE’S NO GOOD

Haha why did I not remember the Gone With The Wind reference? Cynthia was so cute, I miss her carefree and happy

FRECO MOVE YOUR DAMN HAND, YOU ARE TRASH.

HE’S FICTIONAL BUT ID STILL FIGHT HIM

my poor bby😭💔 it is not your fault , he’s trash!! But this moment between the nurses warmed my cold heart

“Matrons in charge, virgins of iron” 😭😭

Aw Earth Angel playing, ✨🎼 I highkey pop to 50s/60s pandora stations

Jenny yes it’s illegal but do you think that matters rn??

TIM AS MAID MARION LMAO

Sister Bernadette looking at Dr Turner ah omg 😭they’ve come so far.

It’s not your fault Jenny but you should’ve told someone

Sister B & Tim won 👏🏼

LMAO ALL I CAN THINK OF IS THAT POST “WOAH CALM DOWN IM JUST TRYNA DATE YOUR DAD”

and she’s down, and the glasses flew

“You’ve hurt your hand” “well I’m sure there’s no need to amputate” ah sister b/shelagh lowkey has some of the funniest lines she just slips them in and people miss them !!

Here it comes ..

THE MOMENT..

“Would you like me to have a look at that?” UHM YEA

No but seriously I can barely remember what I thought when I first watched this but I knew something was gonna happen because a nurse can handle her own damn cut & well you know, she was in love with him

HE KISSED HER HAND. A fucking doctor kissed a nuns hand people, how scandalous & this was THE MOMENT I KNEW I WAS CORRUPT AND WAS GOING TO HELL, I AM SATAN I WANTED THE DOCTOR TO KISS A FREAKING NUN ON THE MOUTH LIKE WTF WHO RAISED ME? MY MOTHER WANTED IT TOO SO IDK BUT THIS KILLED ME, LIKE R.I.P HERE LIES GABBY, I WAS IN THE GROUND DECEASED. I’m actual trash. Someone dispose of me in the proper bin #recyle

for real, this is when I really knew that I was never going to love any other show like this and I allowed it to ruin me

BUT HONESTLY WHAT THE HELL WAS HE THINKING? THATS A BOLD MOVE

BOLD IN GENERAL BECAUSE YOU DONT KNOW IF SHE LIKES YOU BUT BOLD x1000 BC SHE IS A NUN, YOU KNOW MARRIED TO GOD, VOW OF CHASITY AND ALL THAt??

What if she would’ve freaked tf out or told sister Julienne? I don’t even know. I’ll just be grateful for how things turned out

“At this moment I only know I’m not turning my back on you because of you but I’m doing it because of him” AHHHH, DONT WORRY BBY GOD LOVES U AND UNDERSTANDS YOU LOVE HIM AND THE DOCTOR, LOSE THAT HABIT AND GO PROPERLY KISS PATRICK 😭

Sister MJ judging the baby contest is the purest thing & I need it to cleanse my disgusting soul that wants a dr to get with a nun #notsorrythough

“In Nonnatus we were good at tending other’s wounds and there were times I felt we were all each other’s children..” brb I’m crying I love that they’re like a family 😭💕💔

I’m so happy they didn’t kill Nora and she actually was happy in the end. I really wasn’t sure for a moment (obviously when I first watched lol)

“ Free reliable contraception came too late to help her, but in time the scientists triumphed. Her daughters and granddaughters lives remained transfigured, long after man left fleeting footprints on the moon.” Vanessa always knowing what to say in the end.

Lets see how the pill is going to be reintroduced this series, I’m interested  in how it’s going to play out.

I’ve said that so many times though so I’ll be done

The End.

#call the midwife #im actual trash #I love this show too much #my thoughts #and rambles #lets get it 1962 #protect my bbys at all costs though #my commentaries™