#o no I’m not done with these undies just yet hehe

[cutesuki--bakugou]

XO

Main Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x Koge Naegi (OC)

Story Rating: Explicit

Genre: Fluff / Romance / Domestic

Story Warnings: Phone sex, sexting, dirty and degrading talk, Bakugou’s really fluffy don’t @ me. 

a/n: I was going to do like... the fake text screenshots along with this story and draw the pictures that they are sending to each other, but I was just getting too frustrated with it and I couldn’t find the time I needed to do it all, so I’m just gonna go with normal text lol. Maybe next time! 

Tagging @lady-bakuhoe​​ ‘cause she’s been so excited about this and pumping me up about it, and @rhombea​​ ‘cause she read it over and helped me with it, and just because I adore them both.  (*˘︶˘*).｡.:*♡

Art in banner by me

Me = Koge Cutesuki = Bakugou

Me 3:03 AM: I miss you, Katsuki. I can’t sleep. (>﹏<)

A small sigh left Koge’s lips as she stared at her phone screen, rolling over onto her side to face the wall. The spot beside her was empty, the pillow untouched and the sheets cold, which was something she wasn’t sure she’d ever get used to. Sure, she had spent many nights alone when her lover was off on a trip or on a late-night job, but that didn’t matter. No amount of time could make her get used to being alone, not when she was so used to and craved his presence. It was truly miserable when he was gone, even though she did everything she could think of to try and distract herself. 

She spent time with her friends, watched movies, played video games, did yoga and meditation, went shopping, read books, and anything else she could possibly squeeze in so that the only time she was undistracted was while attempting to sleep. Along with texts and phone calls from him, she could get by, especially if the trip was only a few days or a week. But right now, he had been gone for a month. All the distractions in the world couldn’t stop her loneliness now, and what was worse, he was on the other side of the world in America. 

There was a huge hero conference being held in New York and being one of the top young heroes in Japan, he had been invited along with quite a few others. He was horribly busy, every day being either an event for the conference, meetings, or doing touristy things with his friends that had gone with him. Koge was glad that he wasn’t alone, with at least Kirishima and Midoriya there to keep him company, but damn was she jealous. She wished that she had been able to go with him, too, but her work responsibilities at home prevented her from leaving. 

It didn’t help that the times were so different on top of everything else. It was difficult for Koge to find time to talk to Bakugou for more than a few minutes over the phone, since he was 13 hours behind her in time. Right now, for him, it was just past two in the afternoon, meaning that he was probably in the middle of an event or maybe eating lunch. 

Meanwhile, Koge laid in bed, alone, cold, and bundled up in multiple fleece blankets for comfort as she waited for his response. 

When her phone buzzed in her hand sooner than expected, her eyes were instantly on the new text message, cuddling up tighter under the blankets. 

Cutesuki 3:07 AM: you need to try to sleep, utsuro. its late. 

Me 3:07 AM: I know, but… It’s hard without you. (｡•́︿•̀｡) I’m cold. 

Cutesuki 3:08 AM: i already know youre bundled up under all those fucking blankets, probably wearing my clothes, too. spray some of my cologne on my pillow or something. 

Me 3:08 AM: You know me so well. ( ◡‿◡ *) I am just as you say. And I already put some on my pillow… I didn’t want to mess with yours. 

Cutesuki 3:09 AM: considerate. of course youre in my clothes, might as well throw all of yours out. 

Me 3:09 AM: Hehe… ( ´ ▽ ` ) They’re just so comfy! 

Cutesuki 3:09 AM: which? 

Immediately, Koge felt heat rush to her cheeks, biting down onto her bottom lip as her stomach fluttered. He wanted to know what she was wearing. He had to be out and about right now, so what was he getting at? 

During trips like this, the two of them were no strangers to phone sex, exchanging sexy pictures or messing around on video chat if they were able. Sadly, Bakugou was also sharing a hotel room with his friends to save on funds, so time alone was scarce for him. In fact, the entire time he had been gone, they hadn’t been able to have more than a slightly flirtatious conversation before he had to go. Koge’s toys could satisfy her in the moment, but nothing could ever compare to the way he made her feel and the pleasure they could create together. Just the thought of the intimacy they shared made her body grow hot, squeezing her bare thighs together to try and relieve the new aching at her hips. 

Cutesuki 3:11 AM: well?

Sitting up, Koge reached over and turned on the lamp on the bedside table before leaning back against the headboard. Holding her phone out, she took a selfie, doing her best to make sure she got a flattering angle that showed her body beneath his black skull t-shirt and her bare legs, with a playful smirk and a peeking tongue being all that was visible of her face. Satisfied, she sent it to him, settling down to wait with her legs stretched out in front of her. As she waited, her heart only pounded harder in her chest, hoping that is what he had wanted to see.

Me 3:12 AM: (*´︶`*)

Cutesuki 3:16 AM: fuck. 

Cutesuki 3:16 AM: it would be that shirt. 

Cutesuki 3:16 AM: youre so predictable. 

Me 3:17 AM: Well if you know, why’d you want to see? (¬‿¬ )

Cutesuki 3:18 AM: i need something to jack off to. 

Koge’s body was immediately covered in goosebumps, making her shiver and squeal quietly to herself, bringing her phone up to her lips and kicking her legs like an excited child. Maybe he finally had some time to himself? Or was he hiding away in a bathroom somewhere? Any option turned her on. 

Me 3:18 AM: That’s all that’ll get you off, huh? ┐(︶▽︶)┌ Guess my job is done. 

Cutesuki 3:19 AM: dont be a smartass. more. 

Me 3:19 AM: More? (◕‿◕✿)

Cutesuki 3:19 AM: now bitch. or would you rather miss out on this? 

Within the next few seconds, he sent in his own picture, displaying his hips, clad in grey sweatpants. He seemed to be sitting on a bed with what looked to be a hotel room behind him, but that didn’t matter to Koge. All she was focused on was his hand, which was clutching onto the hard form of his cock beneath the fabric, showing off his size. Feeling as if her heart was in her throat, Koge squeezed and rubbed her thighs together, looking over every inch of him she could see, from the peek of his belly beneath his shirt to the strong veins that ran along his rugged hand and up his arm. “Damn you, Katsuki! You hot asshole.” 

Me 3:20 AM: Challenging me, huh? (ಠ_ಠ)

Cutesuki 3:20 AM: im threatening you. show me your tits. 

Unable to stop the smirk that crossed her lips, Koge pulled the t-shirt up, holding the bottom hem of it between her teeth. With only slight position and maneuvering, Koge was able to get a similar selfie as the one a moment ago, showing her legs, torso, and mouth. This time, she had the shirt taught so that it held her breasts in place, only showing a nice and plump peek of the bottom of them, along with her stomach. Her mouth was in a teasing smile, teeth shown clamped down around the shirt, and little pale blue undies fit snugly on her hips. 

Me 3:23 AM: (¯▿¯)

Cutesuki 3:26 AM: fuck youre such a tease. 

Cutesuki 3:26 AM: i miss you. 

A new picture came along with his message, bringing a new wave of heat to her already aching cunt. His cock was now out of his pants, hard and irresistible, crowned with a dribble of precum that had begun its descent down the underside of his head. He wasn’t touching it, using his free hand to hold his sweats down out of the way instead, but Koge could still see a little dark area that had gotten wet before he decided to expose himself. He had also removed his shirt at some point, so his muscular frame was visible. 

Giving a frustrated groan, Koge slipped her hand between her legs, beginning to lightly stroke along her sex outside of her underwear. Already soaked through, she couldn’t get her eyes off the picture, nibbling at her bottom lip as she pleasured herself. Every vein and girthy inch of him had her entire body on fire, wanting more than anything for him to shove that beautiful cock down her throat. She missed his hands on her body, the warmth of him against her and how delicious he tasted. 

Me 3:28 AM: Ooh, I get the dick before I even show you the tits? You must be horny.

Cutesuki 3:28 AM: you’re killing me.

Me 3:29 AM: ԅ(≖‿≖ԅ)

Sinking down a bit more against the headboard, Koge pulled the t-shirt up over her breasts, being sure to hold her arms in a way that nicely squished them together. Her recently fully healed nipple piercings gleamed in the dim light, and since they were so enticing, Koge decided to get a shot of the other piercing. Getting her mouth in the frame, she opened wide and let her tongue loll out, displaying the piercing on the wet muscle as well. He had yet to really get the chance to play with her with them both fully healed, so she knew this would set him off. 

Cutesuki 3:32 AM: fuck. I want to fuck that pretty mouth

Me 3:33 AM: Want to fuck my throat raw, huh? Or maybe my tits? 

Cutesuki 3:33 AM: show them closer. 

Me 3:33 AM: nuh uh. Pic for pic, right? 

Koge moved her fingers back between her legs, rubbing her clit on the outside of her soaked panties. Though, what she received wasn’t a picture. It was a video, the preview making her immediately slip her hand inside her underwear for direct and more vigorous contact. 

Pressing play, she felt her entire body quiver at the view, which was filmed from where she would assume his left knee would be. The frame tilted up, his hips all the way up to his nose was visible, showing a clear view of him pumping his cock and frustrated snarl. 

“Pic for pic, Utsuro? You fucking tease. Hmn, fuck-“ His voice cut off with a grunt, followed by a deep groan as he picked up the pace on jacking off. “Show me what you really want, whore.”

When the video cut off, Koge couldn’t resist playing it again, beginning to plunge two of her fingers in and out of her pussy as she watched him. It was so hot, his voice so gruff and filled with passion, that sexy growl with each degrading word making her heart race faster. She could only imagine what he’d be doing with that sexual tension; his hand around her throat as he fucked her into the mattress. Or perhaps his fist balled up in her hair while he made her gag on his cock. 

Although she didn’t want to stop, she took a moment to slip her undies off, tossing them away. Positioning the phone, Koge used her free hand to spread her glistening pussy open, showing him just how wet she was. 

Me 3:40 AM: I want your dick inside me, Katsuki. I want you to fuck me like the little horny bitch I am. 

Cutesuki 3:41 AM: good girl. 

Me 3:41 AM: I want to hear you. Can you call me?

The instant the phone began to ring, and his adorably innocent picture appeared on screen, Koge answered it, holding the phone up to her ear as she continued to rub delicious circles on her clit. “Katsuki…” She couldn’t restrain a soft moan, slipping two of her fingers into her cunt at the ragged sound of his breathing. “I wish you were here with me.” 

“You just can’t stand being without my cock, huh, little whore?” Bakugou’s voice was deep and quiet, making Koge sink further down to lay and dig her fingers in deeper. She could almost feel his body on top of her, pressing her down into the mattress as he hissed in her ear, his thick fingers teasing her pussy in punishment. “You’re such a nasty fuck, always begging for me to fuck you.” 

Koge was sure to let her voice flow freely, not restricting and moans or gasps of pleasure. “I love it so much, Katsuki. I love your big dick inside me! I want to cum all over it-” She paused just to hear the soft and frustrated grunts he made, even able to hear his hand working over his cock in a quick and steady rhythm. “Yes, Katsuki. You’re close, aren’t you, baby?” Much to her surprise, Koge found that even she was getting close to cumming quickly with just her fingers, which was a feat in of itself. After years of being with Bakugou, of growing so used to the way he fucked her, she found that something so tame as fingering herself couldn’t usually get the job done. A toy or two usually had to be used to get her off, but tonight, all she needed was the sound of his voice and a vivid imagination. 

“Yeah, I’m fuckin’ close. Damn it, Utsuro, your voice is fucking hot. And those shitty piercings… fuck!” 

“Mm, that’s right,” Koge’s voice hitched, moving her fingers back to her clit to work herself over the edge. “That’s it, Katsuki! Cum for me-” She was cut off again by her own moan, leaning her head back into her pillow as her hips arched up into her fingers. Straining against the sore burning in her forearm, she forced her hand to continue rubbing, listening closely to Bakugou’s own groans and curses of pleasure. She could tell the exact moment that he came, his voice growing into a deeper growl and trembling with relieved sighs. He couldn’t hold it for very long, and just the thought that he had been wanting her so badly immediately pushed Koge over the edge as well. 

Entire body quivering and twitching with the force of her orgasm, Koge clutched her thighs together, slowly and lightly letting her fingers slide across her pulsing sex to ride out the orgasm. In truth, she wasn’t sure how loud she had been or what she might have said when she came. All she had done was listen to Bakugou as he finished, imagining that tight grip on her hips and his hot release inside her. She could feel those rough and calloused hands slide up her sides, caressing her body so close and lovingly after ravaging her completely. 

Relaxing her body back against the bed, Koge rolled over onto her side, nuzzling her face against her pillow and taking in the scent of his cologne. On the other end, she could hear him still panting to catch his breath, though a sharp chuckle cut him off. 

“You sniffing some dirty boxers, Utsuro?” 

“What?! No! I’ve never been that desperate.” Koge couldn’t resist her own soft giggle, smiling against the pillowcase. “I told you, I put some of your cologne on my pillow.” 

“Stalker.” 

Before she could respond, Koge got a message alert, pulling her phone away from her ear. Putting him on speaker, she opened the message, feeling her entire body flush hot again at the sight of him. Hand still around his dick, his lower stomach, sweatpants and fingers had dribbles of his cum, gleaming against the well-lit room. With a groan, Koge rubbed her thighs together again. “Man, I wanna lick it off!” 

“Where’s mine?” 

Sitting up again, Koge got into another pose, making sure her chest was exposed along with her puffy and wet pussy that was still tender with the need for more attention. Lips also in the frame, she puckered them in a sweet kiss, her fingers in a cute peace sign to go with it. After sending it, she pulled the shirt down and got comfortable again, smiling as she heard him give a short chortle. 

“Cute.” 

“You’re cute.” 

“That’s my new phone background.” 

“No! Someone will see it!” 

“No one ever sees my phone, stupid. I’m not an idiot like you who leaves it out where everyone can see the screen. Besides, they’ll catch a glimpse of the most beautiful woman they’ll ever see. That’s a privilege.” 

Cheeks flushing, Koge cuddled her blankets to her tightly, nuzzling herself into her pillow. “That’s not true… I’m not the most beautiful.” 

“You are to me.” 

“You’re too sweet. Turning me into mush over here when I can’t kiss you. Usually I’m the one doing the sweet talking.” 

“I miss you. This last week can’t go by fast enough. All this shit is great for my brand, but damn, I’m worn out. All this social interaction is fucked.” 

“Is that why you’re in your hotel room today? Isn’t it like two in the afternoon?” 

“I didn’t have a panel today to go to, but Kirishima and Deku did. I could have gone out, but I decided to stay in and relax. I’m kinda glad you weren’t able to sleep.” 

Reaching over, Koge turned off the bedside table lamp, placing the phone down on his pillow as she snuggled up nice and tight into her blankets. “Aw, I had good luck then today. I’m really glad. Tell me about it! How’s it been?” 

Koge wasn’t sure how long they talked, with him chatting on and on about what was happening, who he had met, and what benefits the convention had towards his hero branding. They laughed and got annoyed together. Bashed on this person or praised this company. Reminisced about what they missed of each other and what they wanted to do when he returned. But, at one point, Koge drifted off to sleep to the sound of his voice and his scent on her pillow. 

When she awoke to the sound of her alarm going off, Koge yawned and gave a heavy stretch, snatching her phone off the bed beside her, since it had at some point fallen off his pillow. Turning off the alarm, she looked at the time, immediately feeling guilt weigh heavily on her chest. “Oh no, I fell asleep talking to him… My poor Katsuki.” 

Rolling over onto her back, she went into her text messages to send him a good morning and apologize, but what she saw there instead made her stop. Bakugou had cleaned up and changed into some new lounge clothes, getting kind of an awkward selfie of him with the city view behind him as he stood on the balcony of his hotel room. It was a cute and innocent exchange compared to the debauchery that had occurred just a few hours ago, and it brought a fluttering to Koge’s stomach.  

Cutesuki 5:11 AM: i could tell you fell asleep from your snoring. its cute.

Cutesuki 5:11 AM: glad i could make your stubborn ass fall asleep. 

Cutesuki 5:11 AM: love you. call me around 10. the two idiots will be gone for a while tonight. maybe we can have round 2. 

Cutesuki 5:11 AM: xo

Smiling, Koge opened her camera and took a picture of her own, sleepy faced and smiling, still bundled up in her blankets. Attaching it to her message, she put the phone down once she responded, giving another stretch and a rub of her eyes. 

Me 8:02 AM: I love you too, my Katsuki. I’m sorry I crashed. (╥﹏╥)

Cutesuki 8:03 AM: new bg picture. 

Me 8:03 AM: What?? (・・;)ゞ Just pick one! (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞ Cutesuki 8:04 AM: youre beautiful in all of them, dumbass, i cant pick. 

Cutesuki 8:04 AM: cant text right now. call me around 10. love you.

Me 8:04 AM: I love you more! (♡‿♡) Cutesuki 8:05 AM: youll never. xo 

Me 8:05 AM: (´ ε ` )♡

#bnha imagines #bnha scenarios #bakugou x oc #bakugou #katsuki bakugou #bnha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #my hero academia oc #oc #original character #bnha oc #koge #bakugou x koge #bnha fanfiction #fanfiction #bnha writing blog #cutesuki-oc #cutesuki-lemons

[yamithediaperdork]

Under Lock and Key (OC story)

Key giggled happily and semi skipped on his way home from school. it was a warm summer day and school was O-V-E-R and the 18 year old was ready to parrrrrty! His parents were going out of town on a extended cruise (in fact they had left during his school day, he'd said bye to them this morning) so he was gonna rock out with his cock out all night long! Little did he know however his parents, fully aware of his plans had contracted Key's bestie, a 19 year old who had graduated at 17 and was paying him quite well to keep a eye on their little guy.

getting up to the house Key was singing the winx club theme softly and went to put his key in the lock..when the door swung open and there was mark. "Surprise fucker!" Mark said and grinned and before Key could stop him he was lifted up in big strong arms and hugged tight. "Gahhhh Markkk!" Key groaned "What are you doing here? and how did you get in?" Key asked, still dangling in the air "Simple~ your folks didn't trust their " and mark switched to a baby talk tone "Dawing baby boi ta be all awone in da big swacy house~" key huffed at that and then wiggled, helpless as mark carried him inside and then let key plop to the floor while kicking the door shut. "Ah come on, they should know I don't need a baby sitter!" Key huffed, crossing his arms while on his butt, then he snapped a finger. "waittttt a second! you took this job so I wouldn't get a boring babysitter and it's just gonna be us hanging out and-" "Yeahhhh no. I'm taking this job seriously buddy." "Awww come on." "No buts I'm to enforce all your parents rules and their punishments..soo..unless you want me to smack your ass." mark said and rubbed the back of his head, looking sheepish. ""wait..not..uh..all all their rules and punishments..right.." Key said suddenly. blushing.

See.. Key was recently having trouble with bed wetting..to the point where he now wore diapers to bed at night. (it was why he hadn't slept over or had anyone sleep over in awhile) He also had been getting a little lazy.. and might of.. gone ..you know..in his diapers instead of going to the bathroom. His parents were understanding about the wetting.. but doing that... they had added a rule. if he had a stinky diaper in the morning then as soon as he got home from school he was in diapers all after/evening. no exceptions. and if it happened on a non school day.. diapers all day long.

"Yeah Buddy..I know all the rules. so.. you kinda need to come with me." "Hold it hang on hang on hang on! Look that's for when I'm lazy OK." key said, holding his hands out in front of him now and bootie scooting backwards till he hit a wall, smiling nervously. mark was walking towards him with a semi smirk. "Yeah and you-" "that was totally a accident! See, we had some Mexican last night and you KNOW what that does to me, and I migtttta gotten into some of dad's liquor so see it wasn't me being lazy it just was-" "you were passed out after getting into the booze..so now I have to spank you first." "...WHAT!? What do you mean you have to spank me!?" "It's in the rules buddy..if I catch you drinking or here about it it's a trip over my lap."  Mark said and shrugged. "but..I wouldn't of told you if I knew that! can't I get a mulligan!?" "Nope. Now.. you gonna come upstairs like a good boy and take your licking or do I have to carry you over my shoulder and swat your bubble butt every step of the way?" "...This whomps." Key sulked

Key got up and stomped up the stair and Mark fought the urge to laugh, there was just no way around it.. Key looked like a big toddler having a fit. getting to the second floor Key went into the guest room.. or as it was known now..the punishment room. He had his own room for having his friends over and doing homework in. and it had all the things you'd expect for a teen aged boy. But the room he was sleeping in more often then not was a over sized nursery with old action figures and plushies..cartoon posters on the walls and a changing table and crib. "...Holy shit dude." mark said, looking the room over. "Right!? My parents are psychos!" "nah, this shows they must love you a LOT to go though all the effort to punish you like this." Mark said and went over to the closet and Key whimpered. "Hehe.. sailor outfit..over alls..rompers..and..Wait really?" Mark asked and held out a baby dress that would be any little girls dream outfit.. making Key whimpered. "I-I've only wore that once, after saying girls were stupid!" Key whined and looked ready to cry. "I Seeeee." Mark said and put the dress back. "Alright, Strip." "Mark you could just TELL them you spanked me, I'll totally wear the diapers alright?" Key trying to bargain, putting his hands together "no way Jose. now strip." mark said and came over. Key whimpered and whined and then slooooowwwly tugged his shirt off.. then his shorts. he was standing there in dinosaur print undies that looked a little funny and mark tilted his head trying to figure out why "W-What? there my special dino briefs.." Key whined. "uh-huh.. turn around." Mark said. "whatever." key said and did just that, then feeling impish wiggled his bootie. "Take a picture, it'll last longer!" he said. Mark..oddly bent down and then told key to wiggle his butt again. "What are you, the butt whisperer?" Key giggled but did so.. and Mark caught it.. a faint crinkle "..you know your wearing training pants right?" "W-What? NO! these are just like, special lucky undies that make sure I don't get pee stains on..my..short.." Key said, indigent until it slowly clicked in to place and then he turned BRIGHT red and looked down. I-I'm in training undies!?" "But..but..I'ma big boy.." Key whined and looked up at mark. 'yeah a big boy in training pants and in a nursery' was what mark thought. "Maybe they just wanted to be sure, or they knew you were too busy for the  follow up jingle when using a urinal?" Mark lied. "Y-yeah that HAS to be it." Key said and smiled. "Now in, you kinda need to tug those down too Key." mark said. "Why? you said you were gonna spank me." "Yeahhhh..I spank bare bottom." "B-but daddy also lets me leave these on!!" "Well I'm not your daddy am I?"

Key was whimpering big time as he tugged his undies down, and mark noticed there was crack and pee pee stains in the back and front of them.. and that key was totally hairless down there. "late bloomer?" Mark asked. "M-Mommy said I'll get diapie rash if I kept my pubes.." "I see~" Mark said and took key's hand, leading him over to a stool that was by the corner of the room, and had "The spanking stool" on the wall over it. next to the stool was a hair brush, a paddle and a belt. "since it's your first time for a bare bottom spanking, I'll just use my hand.. but if we end up back over here.." and Mark let the threat hang in the air.. and regretted making it a second later as a squirt of piddle came out of Key and hit the floor. "S-Sorry!" "-sigh- it's OK. I should of asked if you need the potty." Mark said  "Key, do you need to potty?" Key nodded and then to marks surprise went to anther closet he hadn't noticed and took out a big (well key sized) duck potty! with handles and everything. "I know mommy and daddy told you bout dis.." he whimpered, not knowing that in fact they hadn't and key could of used the big boy potty! wisely Mark kept that to himself. "that's right. your a good boy Key." "Do I hafa sing the potty song though?" "....Yes. Yes you do." getting over the duck and holding on, and making sure his wiener was pointing down.. Key closed his eyes and then taking a deep breath... "This is how we potty QUACK QUACK! With wiener QUACK QUACK! and bum QUACK QUACK fill Mr duck up QUACK QUACK!" key sang and a weak steam started from his wiener, he looped the song and kept going, the stream getting stronger and then a poot escaped from him and his voice broke.. but he kept going, grunting now. "This is how -uggggh- we potty QUACK QUACK! With wiener -grrrrunt- QUACK QUACK! and bum QUACK -GRUNT- QUACK fill Mr duck up QUACK QUACK!" this time he was followed by not only hiss of his pee pee but by toots nd plops and his whole body was red as he finished, and the room had a slight smell to it After about a good ten minutes of this Key stopped and slowly opened his eyes. "I..I'm done.." he said in a small voice. "OK." Mark said. Key waited by the potty and mark realized with a grin what he was waiting for and grabbed the wipes and came over. "P-Please don't tell anyone about this." he mewed. and mark noticed as he wiped Key's ass crack key was throbbing and hard

Key noticed him staring and whined. "please don't lock it up! I just got out of chastity! I haven't had my week of wanking yet!" he whined. "well as long as you control yourself I don't see a need to lock it up." Mark said with a smirk and then slipped a finger, wrapped by a wipe into key's  keyhole, noting how loose it felt. "G-Gah!" "Key.. you're AWFULLY lose back here.. but you say you were locked up.." Mark said. "I was! you can ask my parents!" Key whined, his Dickie leaking like CRAZY now and he was fighting not to spurt. "I think you were sticking things up your bum to still masturbate." Mark said.He had NO clue if he was right or not.. or didn't till the super guilty look came over Key's face. "I think little boys who cheat don't get their wanking week." "but..but..you don't understand! it's 'pose to be 2 weeks in then two weeks out but last time Daddy lost the key and we had to wait for the company to sent a replacement! then daddy found the key after! I was locked up for a month!!!!" "Well when you put it that way." Mark said and Key smiled. "I'll just lock it up, I won't spank you for cheating or tell your parents." Cue a howl from Key and mark finished getting him wiped down and then used a bag of ice in a refrigerated area of the changing table to calm key's wiener and balls down then got him locked up in a pretty pink device.. "i'll let you out in two weeks, promise. even if I have to call a locksmith." mark promised and Key was sobbing tons without a spanking.. his poor balls! he should of jerked off at school like he'd been tempted to do but he had wanted to save it for home.. thinking he'd do it in his parents room as a fuck you to them. Now he'd have -6 weeks- of boy milk build up! he'd die!! Of course he had fucked his ass with the hair brush but he'd been barley able to orgasm with it, it more make him leak out.. and now..

Seeing how upset he was, Mark sighed and decided he was JUST too nice.. and tugged key back as he headed for the spanking stool and put him on the changing table. "I'll spank you tomorrow. for now lets get you in diapies and then a nap OK?" Handing Key a stuffed dog, the 16 year old cuddled it with one arm and then pointed to a jar of pacifier. "you want a sucky?" "D-Daddy and mommy say Lil boys have germy hands.." Mark chuckled and got out a yellow and blue one and started to tent his pants as he watched how eagerly key suckled on it. taking out three thick paw patrol print diapers mark got lots of baby powder and lotion on key, semi getting him worked up again and his nipples got SO stiff, and he was suckling in a suggestive manner now.. then he was taped up and Mark lifted him up, setting him on his hip and key wrapped his legs and a arm around mark, hugging his stuffie and nuzzling into marks chest. Mark headed for the crib and Key whined a little, but didn't remove his paci. "Do you not wanna take a nap in your crib?" Mark asked, and Key shook his head no. "do you wanna take it in your big boy room?" Mark asked, and again no. "do you wanna take I downstairs in the living room with me while I watch TV?" rapid nod. "well your not suppose to.. but this has been a tiring day.. so just this Once." Mark said and kissed key's forehead.. and key nuzzled into him smiling behind his paci,. Heading down the steps Mark pulled out the sofa into a bed and made it up.. having key sit on the floor in just his diapers, a Lil paranoid as Mark refused to close the curtains. (what key didn't know was the window was treated today so it was one way..) with the bed made up mark got key in there, then climbed in as well and Key was instantly nuzzling into him. "so does it matter what I put on?" Mark asked, but key was already asleep, head on mark's chest, and semi humping mark's leg in his sleep. "That's almost too adorable." mark chuckled and let the Lil guy have his fun.

The end

[mintymiknow]

Scintilla - ch. 7 | Bang Chan

summary & more info | masterlist

Characters: Stray Kids, Reader

Pairing: Bang Chan x Reader

Summary: Life had to go on despite what happened between you, Chan, and the others. Life had to go on no matter how difficult it was. After all, you were still queen-elect, and he was still a rebel.

Genre: Royal fantasy [Red Queen AU]

Word count: Approx. 5.9k

Warnings: Minimal fight scene, mentions of injuries

A/N: Surprise, surprise! I managed to finish ch. 7 before the week ended! I put you all through quite a ride in the last chapter, so we’ll take things lighter in this - slightly hehe. This chapter kind of signifies that we’re halfway through the story. Enjoy! As usual, don’t be afraid to ask or talk through the asks :>

Faking smiles, politely bowing to a dozen Elites, maintaining your politeness while speaking to them, entertaining the questions from other royalties of neighboring nations – it was all quite tiring, considering how you were brought up to do such deeds with ease.

How did other people survive doing these?

Well, others didn’t really have to go through the emotional roller-coaster of getting attached and invested in someone who apparently had to kill you. Others didn’t have to live with the fact that they invested so much time – and emotions – in someone they thought would be their hope, per se.

But you did. Chan urged you to believe his words – that he’d never meant to harm you despite what Seungmin had read in his mind – yet as you sat in front of your vanity, untangling your perfectly-styled updo, you still felt the stinging ache that resulted from your naïve heart breaking into a million pieces.

Seungmin revealed Chan’s mission. Chan said he never meant to carry it out. Who were you to believe? Seungmin would never lie to you, but you couldn’t say the same about Chan. He was still a rebel, after all; this causes you to grimace, your thoughts making you sound like the “typical Silver” you so desperately wanted to avoid.

But the plea – the desperation – that engulfed Chan’s eyes was very clear to you when he was defending himself. How could someone fake something as raw and intense as that? Unless maybe, you were still too blinded by your “feelings” for the male to see his true intentions.

The questions, the doubts, all cloud your mind and suddenly, breathing becomes a struggle for you. You feel unwanted tears trailing down your cheeks, the sensation burning like acid trying to destroy you. You yell in frustration – and maybe grief – as you throw the floral headpiece you were wearing towards the mirror in front of you. Your raindrop-like tears have now evolved into a waterfall as you stare at yourself in the mirror; your broken reflection taunts you, mocks you even, as you glare in vain.

Just as you release a deep breath, you hear a gentle knock on your door. Without giving a response, two figures slowly open the door and carefully trudge over to you. “Hey sis.” Changbin says quietly, a timid Seungmin behind him.

You wipe all remnants of tears from your face, spinning around to meet the two. Upon seeing you distressed state, your brother envelopes you in a tender hug. When you start to silently sob, he gently rubs your back in an attempt to calm you down. Seungmin bites his lip before quietly mumbling, “I’m sorry, y/n. It’s my fault you have to go through this again.”

He felt bad for leading Minho to the Newbloods in Yellow Wood before, and despite knowing that he was doing it out of duty, he felt bad for revealing Chan’s thoughts to you. You pull away from Changbin to look at Seungmin in the eye, “You were just doing your job, Min. Besides, if Chan really was planning to go through with his mission, I’d be dead. You kind of saved my life if that were the case.”

“There were times I could hear your thoughts unconsciously, especially when you were elated. I know how much he meant to you,” Seungmin steps closer, eyes apologetic and almost child-like, “so I really tried to rattle his mind and use my abilities to the best I could to see if there was a sliver of information that could be used to turn the situation around but he keeps everything about himself so guarded. It took a vast amount of concentration and effort to even discover his mission, but I knew it wouldn’t end well, so even as Minho was intimidating them, I tried to dig deeper for – ”

“Min.” you stop the younger male’s rambling, “It’s ok, it’s done. There’s nothing we can do about it.”

Changbin decides to change the topic and gestures towards the door, “Do you want to see Hyunjin? He’s finally awake.”

A single nod is all you give in response, and Changbin leads both you and Seungmin to the medical wing. You slowly enter the room in which Hyunjin was staying, cautious steps so as to not alarm him. When he turns his head, his eyes start to twinkle like undying stars, his lips curling into a small smile, “Hey guys.”

“Hey Jinnie.” you quietly say, making your way to sit on the edge of the bed. Seungmin stands by the foot of the bed with Changbin getting into position on the other side. You ask, “How are you feeling?”

“Everything hurts.” Hyunjin tries to laugh, but a pained expression ghosts over his features, “I thought I was going to die.”

“Yeah, you scared the hell out of everyone.” Changbin crosses his arms, “Even Minho.”

Hyunjin makes an “o” with his mouth, genuinely shocked at Changbin’s revelation. “Don’t worry, though.” Hyunjin gives everyone a thumbs-up gesture.

“I’m sorry.” you gently give his hand a squeeze, “I should have been here to keep you all safe.”

Hyunjin shakes his head, a small smile gracing his lips, “Ah, come on y/n. None of this is your fault. The invaders were just crazy strong, but at least I’m alive, right?”

Seungmin nods, “But you’ll have to be on bed rest for a while. Nothing too strenuous or stressful for you, ok?”

“I think I need that.” Hyunjin chuckles, “Who were those people anyway? They messed me up real bad. Look at this bruise on my cheek! And my face has almost a million scratches! My lips are so sore!”

You want to smile at his usual antics, but you don’t seem to find any will to do so. Instead, you respond to his first question, “Those people were SKZ, Hyunjin.”

Hyunjin’s fingers tangle with the sheets as he fiddles with the soft fabric, eyes downcast, “I know, y/n. I saw when I fought them. It’s just…it’s hard to believe that Jeongin and the other guys belong to that group.”

You look at Seungmin, “Did you tell these two about what went on with Chan and the others?”

“I told Changbin.” Seungmin points to Hyunjin, “I have yet to tell him.”

Hyunjin snaps his head up in curiosity, “What?”

Seungmin sighs, explaining very carefully to the male. He tells him about everything that happened after the attack, including how Minho stormed into District 9 to get certain “answers”. Hyunjin listens intently, his expressions ranging from confusion, shock, and anguish. “You can’t be…that’s impossible.” Hyunjin mutters, “Y/n, Changbin, do you both really think Chan and Felix would do such things?”

“I don’t know, Jin.” Changbin sighs, his eyebrows furrowed in thought, “At this point, we don’t know anything for sure.”

“Y/n, you were with Chan on the day they attacked. Did he know anything about it?” Hyunjin asks.

“He said he didn’t.” you answer, “Neither of the guys did as well. Changbin has mentioned that SKZ is a big group, and it’s possible that a certain faction instigated the attack without Chan and the guys knowing.”

“Oh, see?” Hyunjin snaps his fingers, “I may sound like an idiot for saying this, but I really don’t think those guys have the heart to actually attack the whole castle.”

Hyunjin turns to the Seo siblings. The conviction in his eyes is so alive, it threatens to roar out like a dragon, “And I certainly don’t think Chan or Felix were going to kill you.”

You look down, running your hands over the sheets, “I wish I could just accept that and proceed like nothing happened, but I don’t think that’s the smartest choice.”

Before anyone could say anything, a servant peeks through the doorway and interrupts your little discussion, “Your Highness, the Council is ready for you.”

You tilt your head and ask, “Is Lord Minho not coming today?”

“He’s in his quarters, Your Highness. He would like to recover from injuries.” the servant bows before making his leave.

“I’ll see you all later.” you nod at the three males, “Take it easy, Hyunjin.”

With that, you get up and exit the room dejectedly. As soon as you were out of sight, Hyunjin’s eyes dart between Changbin and Seungmin, “Someone talk to me. Does she really not believe Chan? Bin, do you think Felix would – ”

The prince looks at Hyunjin with a firm gaze. He isn’t angry, but his eyes are serious as he replies, “She wants more than anything to believe him, Hyunjin, but you have to understand that after what happened here in the castle, it’s really risky. Anything to do with anyone of SKZ is risky.”

“But you both – the three of us – risked it when we started hanging out with them.” Hyunjin reasons.

“Yeah, but it’s different now.” Changbin explains, “SKZ physically attacked Silvers, and it doesn’t matter whether this faction did or that faction did. SKZ attacked, and that’s all the Council is going to remember. It doesn’t help that plans to kill both y/n and me were revealed, so obviously, threats are higher now.”

The prince gently places a hand on the younger male’s shoulder, giving it a light squeeze, “Finding out that the man she had fallen for was supposed to kill her really did things to her; she’s confused and torn at this point. Y/n wants to believe Chan, but remember, she’s still queen-elect. Her responsibility to the throne comes first, and that includes guarding herself from all threats. Sad reality, Hyunjin.”

Hyunjin sighs in defeat, “It all just feels so wrong, you know? Like our hopes and dreams crushed into powdery bits of nothingness.”

Changbin chuckles, “I know, but welcome to reality.” The prince almost smirks at Hyunjin, “But in regards to your other question…”

Hyunjin tilts his head before his eyes brighten with realization. Changbin grins, “I don’t think Felix meant to carry it out either. Neither of them. I may be wrong, but I think something bigger is happening within SKZ and we just don’t know it.”

Seungmin points out, “Chan and your other Newblood friends did seem very on-edge when their captain came into the fray when we went to District 9. I couldn’t catch everything, but I caught a glimpse into Jeongin’s mind.”

“Jeongin?” Hyunjin questions, “Didn’t you say the whole conference was between Chan, Minho, y/n, and you?”

“Jeongin and Jisung both interrupted midway to say some things – and attack Minho – so they got caught up as well.” Seungmin states, “Anyway, when SKZ’s captain came in, I unconsciously went over to Jeongin’s mind. It was all so frantic, but he was showing signs of anger and even betrayal. He knew something, but I couldn’t get it in time because Minho commanded us to leave.”

Hyunjin gasps, “That reminds me!”

“What?” Changbin looks at him, puzzled.

“When I was fighting the rebels in the ballroom, this one person asked me to lead him to y/n. I said something about them not being able to kill y/n,” Hyunjin looks out the window of the room, eyes distant as he remembered the events, “and the rebel responded with a rather interesting statement.”

“Silly boy, your useless Newblood friends couldn’t do it, but there are other ways – other people who can do so.”

“Like, now that you guys told me about Chan and Felix, it makes sense, but I didn’t know about it back then.” Hyunjin says.

“I mean, he has a point, Hyunjin.” Seungmin explains, “We obviously know there are hundreds of rebels who want her dead.”

“I know! But you said that Jeongin had angry thoughts of betrayal lurking in his mind, and that he knew something somewhere deep inside.” Hyunjin exclaims, “Doesn’t that tell you something? Why would Jeongin have such thoughts when their captain joined the scene? Why would Chan and the others suddenly act stiff and hostile towards him?”

Seungmin raises an eyebrow doubtingly, “Jeongin could have felt betrayal because y/n came to their city with Minho. Chan and the others could have been hostile because Minho and Jisung were about to murder each other.”

Hyunjin groans, his dramatic side showing as he throws his hands up in frustration despite how his body aches from his injuries, “Gosh, why is everything so annoyingly complicated?”

Changbin raises his eyebrows, lips protruding in a small pout as he agrees with his friend, “I mean, I see your point.” he crosses his arms, “Jeongin kinds of acts as the undercover guy for SKZ since his abilities permit him to take on another person’s identity. I wouldn’t be surprised if he found something out.”

Hyunjin points at him with a click of his tongue, “Right? Whatever it is he found out, it must be important.”

Seungmin hesitates to speak up, but with Changbin and Hyunjin’s eyes on him, he continues either way, “I can try to get answers…I mean, it’s the least I can do for putting you guys – putting y/n – through all this turmoil. But only if we keep this between ourselves! Minho can’t know!”

“What are you talking about?” Changbin chuckles, throwing an arm around the Whisper, “We’ll get answers together. You in, Hyunjin?”

“When am I not?” the young male laughs. “Just…please, nothing that involves fighting. I still feel sore.”

It feels weird being in the presence of the Council without your friends, but you steel yourself and stand a little straighter. Maybe if you made yourself look confident and authoritative, then the Council wouldn’t belittle you so much.

Especially after the attack which you were not present for.

“It has come to our attention that you, Changbin, and Hyunjin have been sneaking away to Elysium to indulge in their everyday shenanigans.” one Council member, Lord Kim, says while tapping the table.

Is that what they were told? That you three simply frolicked around in Elysium to have fun?

You simply nod despite the inaccuracy of their statement.

“As a result of your constant absences from your own city, you were not able to keep the castle safe as queen-elect.” another Council member, Lord Yoo, says.

You clear your throat and speak, “I take full responsibility for that, Lord Yoo.”

“Under normal circumstances, we would have you, Changbin and Hyunjin detained for breaking the royal rules.” Lord Yoo looks at you with a venomous glare. “Imprisoned for who knows how long.”

You gulp and nod in understanding. Another Council member, Lord Lee, also Minho’s father, sighs, “But we have unanimously decided to let this pass. Only this once, Your Highness. Another act such like this will result in your rights to the throne being withdrawn along with arrest.”

“There must be some sort of catch.” you nearly challenge, and Minho would have glared at you for being so bold.

With an amused chuckle, a Council lady, Lady Jung, purrs with her silky voice, “Of course, darling. All we ask of you is that you, your brother, and Hwang are not allowed to leave this castle at all.”

“Not even roam around Miroh.” Lord Kim adds, “Try to escape if you will, but the Royal Guard is positioned everywhere.”

“I think it’s about time you took ruling seriously, Your Highness.” Lord Yoo looks you directly in the eye, and you could tell there was something else – something he wasn’t telling you.

Something the Council wasn’t telling you.

You bite your lip, nodding at their words. “Is there anything else you would like to share, members?”

“Don’t make the same mistakes as your father, young queen.” Lord Kim closes his eyes, leaning back on the plush chair, “Distractions aren’t going to do you any good.”

You hear Lady Jung snickering in her seat, and when you turn your head to look at her, she smiles almost cat-like, “We understand that you are young at heart. Elysium is a beautiful place to enjoy with Hwang and Changbin.” she clasps her hands and leans forward, “But it’s not for you, Your Highness. Your place – your heart – belongs here, in Miroh.”

“Anything about the rebels? The attack?” you ignore her statements, crossing your arms.

Lord Kim nods, “Most of them were either killed by Lord Minho and the Guard, or apprehended by your brother and brought to Dolorem. We have sent out people to investigate and track the ones who got away. That concern is out of your hands for now.”

You raise an eyebrow, “Did you manage to get any valuable or useful information at least?”

“Interrogations are ongoing in Dolorem as we speak, Your Highness. We will inform you as soon as we get information.” Lord Kim answers with a sigh as if he was dealing with an exasperating child.

“Please do.” you mutter.

“Resume with your papers and responsibilities, Your Highness. We shall be meeting with other diplomats in a few days.” Lord Yoo’s booming voice bounces off the walls, “Meeting dismissed.”

With the meeting dismissed you, head to the royal chambers. Technically speaking, the other Elites and Council members had their own castles, but on days that were very busy, they had their own quarters or rooms in your own castle. That meant that Hyunjin, Seungmin, and Hyunjin did as well, and that was where you were going – to Minho’s room.

You knocked on the black door, and when Minho’s rather cranky voice responded, you opened it and stepped inside. If Minho was happy – or bothered – by your presence, he didn’t say anything. At all. He just lay on top of his bed, one hand casually tucked under his head as his other hand stretched out in front of him, fingers dancing around aimlessly in the air. Several mini-cat figurines made of metal dance along the movements he orchestrated.

“You weren’t at the meeting.” you say, crossing your arms as you leaned on the doorframe.

“Why would I?” Minho mumbles, gesturing to himself, “It’s not like I got out of the incident unscathed.”

“I mean, you never told me how severe your injuries were.” you mumble back, shutting the door and making your way to sit on the edge of his bed. “Besides getting punched by Jisung on the face, what else?” you slightly smirk.

The mention of a certain Electricon irks the male, his eyebrow twitching in disgust. Minho glowers at you like an angry cat before rolling his eyes, “It’s none of your concern.”

“It kind of is.” you huff, “You may be mad at me; you may hate me, but I’m still your friend, Min.”

Minho ceases his movements, the cat figurines morphing back into the earrings on his ears. He sits up, lifting his dress shirt just enough to reveal a part of his abdomen. Your widened eyes land on the stab wound, eliciting a gasp from your lips. “There’s more.” Minho says.

He proceeds to showing you the stab below his collarbone, towards the right by his shoulder, the huge gash on his arm, the several cutes littering his face, and the abrasion nesting itself on his temple. “Oh, and that captain’s Silent abilities have a lingering effect, so my body still aches. The Electricon’s punch is the least of my worries.”

You slowly nod, eyes remaining glued to the dark blue sheets of his bed. “I should have listened to you, Min. Hyunjin wouldn’t have knocked on death’s door, and you wouldn’t be injured if I just listened.”

“Listening to me was never your strong point, y/n.” Minho sighs deeply, “Besides, a few physical injuries like these are nothing.”

“How was the meeting?”

“You didn’t tell them, did you?”

You both speak at the same time, so Minho gestures for you to go ahead. You clear your throat and look him in the eye, “You didn’t tell the Council everything, did you? They only addressed me going off to Elysium with the two, but,” you whisper the next few words, leaning closer to the male, “nothing about our connection to Cha – the other Newbloods.”

Minho looks away from you and instead focuses his eyes on the chains hanging on the wall, “Of course I didn’t. Did you really expect me to disclose all that to those people?”

“Why?” you demand, “You, of all people, are keeping it from them? Mr. ‘I live by the rules of royalty’?”

The male narrows his eyes, a bitter glint ghosting over the darkness of his orbs for a split second, “Do you really think that I was going to give them that sort of information? Information that would just lead them to executing you, y/n? Why do you think I kept warning you? Why I wanted you to stop in the first place?”

“I’m keeping it from them because I don’t want them to take you away, even if it’s against my duty.” Minho mumbles as his shoulders droop, and for the first time in years, he actually looks like a young male his age and not some dignified Elite sitting on a high seat. “I’ve told you already. I’m not letting that happen again.”

“Then what about the Royal Guard you brought with you to District 9? I’m sure they aren’t stupid and could tell that there’s something between them and us.” you quietly point out. “They could snitch on us.”

Minho answers, “I told them that you bumped into them once in Elysium, and somehow, you noticed how they were members of SKZ. It took some convincing, but they bought it.”

“And you? What if they find out you kept secrets from them? The Council thinks higher of you more than they do with me and Changbin.” you whisper, heart thumping with every passing second.

Minho’s voice is nearly inaudible when he responds, “Then at least it’s me they take away and not you.”

A heavy silence falls between the two of you, and suddenly, the spacious room feels too small. Minho absentmindedly plays with the rings on his fingers while you smooth your hands over the sheets. When it becomes too much to bear like some toxic gas, you speak with a frail voice, “They aren’t going to do anything to any of us, right? The Council won’t touch me, you, Chan and the rest?”

“As long as you show them that you’re behaving like a proper queen-elect. As long as we all carry out our responsibilities properly. As long as Bang and his friends do their part in staying away from here. Then yes, we’ll all be left alone.” Minho answers, eyes still on his rings.

You nod, letting a sigh of relief escape your lips. Minho watches your body relax and finally, his eyes meet yours, “Are you ok?”

It’s been so long since he’s asked that question. He was always lecturing you and whatnot, but he hardly ever stopped to ask how you were. His sudden question causes you to chuckle lightly, but your smile quickly turns upside down when you speak, “I’m not, but I will be.”

“Your fault for falling in love with a rebel.” Minho mutters, and despite the hostility of the words itself, you knew he was trying to make a joke out of it. His sense of humor was often sarcastic, but it was his way of trying to alleviate situations.

You try to laugh for his sake, but what was supposed to be giggles ended up becoming miserable sobs. You lower your head and try to control yourself in front of Minho, but it’s too late. Your tears are staining his sheets, causing the shade of blue to turn even darker. The male watches you slowly break down in front of his very eyes. Something pinches his unmovable heart, and despite being a man who was raised to be the epitome of what every “ideal Silver” should be, he suddenly feels like a monster.  

The last time you cried like this in front of him was when your father passed away. All other instances of you crying was done in private or away from his own eyes. And now, you were breaking down in front of him…because of him. Minho had made it his personal mission to protect you at all costs; to keep you safe and make sure you were happy.

Ironically, he was the reason your happiness – Chan – was taken from you. His unrelenting attempts to get in between you and the Newbloods was the reason you were in this predicament. Was he wrong in doing so? Maybe not, but somehow, he felt responsible for your agony. Without any words to offer, Minho hesitantly laces his fingers with yours, pulling you close to him. His other hand goes up to caress your hair as he whispers soft “I’m sorry”s against your forehead.

You shake your head roughly, wiping away your tears and sniffing. You sheepishly smile, “Maybe I did love him, Min, but it’s as everyone said. The throne comes first.”

“What other choice do you have, y/n?” Minho argues.

“Embrace my being queen-elect and either reign according to how every Silver wants me to rule, or reign according to how I want to just like Father.” you simply state, “Or, ditch the throne and run away to be a rebel.”

Minho nearly chokes on your last statement, but you gently shove him, “I’m kidding. Chan once told me that whatever I choose to do, it has risks. I can’t escape that and should be willing to take risks. But right now, the option with the least risks it to be the queen the Silvers want me to be. I have to make that choice, even if it means sacrificing anything to do with him.”

Minho watches you force a smile for him, a poor attempt to tell him you were truly fine. He’s known you for years; he’s known your every weakness, your every façade, your every wall. That smile did nothing but tell him that you were anything but fine.

Jisung limps into the room where Chan and Woojin were in with Jeongin chasing after him, “Hyung! You’re not supposed to be walking so much!”

Jisung ignores the younger male and makes a beeline for Chan, “Where’s Ho? I want to speak to him.”

“Sung, that’s not the best option for you.” Chan sighs, “You should listen to Jeongin and get some rest. Those wounds look pretty deep.”

“But – ”

“I know you all want answers, so leave it to me and Woojin.” Chan says firmly, voice laced with nothing but concern.

“Shouldn’t we all go though?” Felix pouts as he trudges into the room gloomily, “Ho had a pretty big assignment for me as well.”

“I need you to stay here and make sure everyone’s safe, Lix.” Chan puts a hand on the dejected male’s shoulder.

Woojin offers the younger boys a faint smile in hopes to appease them, “We won’t be gone long. Just stay here and behave. And make sure Jisung rests his leg.”

Jeongin breaks his silence, his bright eyes focused on the wooden floor, “This is really it, huh? We aren’t seeing them anymore.”

“Life goes on, Jeongin, with or without them.” Chan deadpans, eyes slightly narrowed at the sorrowful thought of bitterly parting ways with you and the other Silvers.

“What if y/n believes you though?” Jisung utters, his eyes ablaze with the question.

Woojin shakes his head with a sigh, “I don’t think it’s all about whether she believes us or not, guys.”

Chan chuckles emptily, “Whether she believes us or not, it doesn’t matter.” the male shrugs, gaze now looking out to the dreary sky, “Y/n chose the throne, so of course Changbin and Hyunjin will stand by her.”

“Everything’s going to go back to normal then.” Felix says quietly, “Just like the time before Changbin met us, before we met any of them. It’ll be like nothing happened.”

While it was true that things would probably go back to how they were before all the sneaking out and friendships were formed, Chan knew he could still do something about it. Yes, he would not be able to see you anymore – hold you, kiss you, laugh with you as he pleased – but it didn’t mean he couldn’t protect you, or the others for that matter. He may not be protecting you physically, but he would do anything in his power to keep his captain’s hands and schemes away from you and the castle.

“Let’s go.” Chan pats Woojin’s back, and the latter follows his best friend out the door.

“Don’t follow.” Felix and Jeongin say simultaneously, and Jisung ends up pouting in response.

“Fine. Where’s Berry? Let me play with her.”

In SKZ’s main base, one of Ho’s lackeys leads the two Newbloods to the captain’s office, a haughty smirk on his face. “You know, Chan, the captain is very displeased with you. Bet you’re gonna get a beating.”

Chan’s glare is all it takes to for the man to shut up and leave their group in front of the office door. Woojin has to stifle his laugh before turning to Chan, “You got this?”

“We got this.” Chan offers his best friend a small smile.

With that, they swing the door open and are immediately greeted with Ho’s smile. “Ah, the dynamic duo.” he chuckles, motioning for the two to sit down.

Woojin and Chan prefer to stand, so Ho sarcastically laughs, raising his hands in the air as if surrendering. “What brings you two here? Well, it doesn’t matter. Saves me the trouble of going to you.”

“Just one question, Ho.” Chan cuts straight to the point, ignoring his captain’s little snicker, “Why?”

“What do you mean ‘why’, Chan?” Ho laughs, “I can answer a million ‘why’s.”

“Why did you attack the castle?”

Ho laughs louder, much more mockingly this time, “We’re rebels, Channie boy. Like I said, times have changed. We have to make our move on the Royal family and Elites.”

“Without us knowing?” Woojin further questions.

“What would you have done either way, Kim?” Ho raises an eyebrow, “Whether you boys knew or not wouldn’t make a difference. I doubt you’d join the attack anyway.”

Chan would be overstepping his boundaries as he glared at the higher authority, but he did so nonetheless. “We still haven’t agreed with your plan to actually attack the Silvers, Ho. It’s not just my boys. Other SKZ members in central District 9 don’t agree with it either.”

“So? This is a directive from all the higher-ups of SKZ. Puny members like you don’t have a say in it.” Ho states proudly, “All higher-ups agreed, so there’s no refusing.”

“Getting rid of the Elites isn’t going to change a thing.” Woojin says.

“Yes it will.” Ho smirks venomously, “It will change so much, boy.”

“It’s not going to be the change we want, Ho, and you know that.” Chan argues.

With a menacing snicker and an incredibly rude snort, Ho scoffs, “I don’t know, Channie, but what I do know is that your little princess lover is going to be the easiest to snuff out.”

Woojin has to grip Chan’s wrist to keep his friend from going feral on their captain. Ho notices the way Chan clenches his fist, and how hard Woojin has to hold his friend back. He laughs at the little display before lowly speaking, “Of course, my attempts have been stopped twice already. Ain’t that right, Channie?”

“The night of the Grand Festival, y/n was attacked when she was going to the gardens.” Chan grits, “That was you?”

“How intelligent. Thanks for ruining my chances, by the way. If you didn’t swoop in like some hideous prince charming then I could have easily killed her without a soul knowing.” Ho’s eyebrows furrow in what seems to be regret – regret for not being able to carry out the deed.

“And the incident at the castle,” Woojin starts, “you were supposed to target y/n as well.”

Ho hums, “Yes, yes, but she wasn’t there. If I could have killed her right there, then SKZ’s plans would have progressed significantly. Alas, I only found out later on – after the attack – that she was away with Chan in District 9.”

The captain’s next words cause something to snap in Chan. “Tell, me Channie, I’m curious. Do her lips taste good? Do you think they’d taste – feel – the same even when she’s dead?”

At that, Chan snarls like an angry wolf, roughly pulling his arm away from Woojin’s grip. He stomps one foot forward, and within a split second, he booms directly in front of the captain. Due to the impact of Chan’s sonic speed, papers from the table fall to the floor, and the frequency difference shatters the windows just as he tightly grips his captain’s collar. “Don’t lay a finger on her, Ho.”

Despite the fury etched on Chan’s face, Ho remains calm as he responds, “Or what, Bang? You’re going to kill me?”

Ho grips Chan’s fist in his and exerts just as much pressure as the latter was, “I wouldn’t have needed to lay a finger on her if you just carried out your mission, Bang!”

The captain raises his fist, pulling it back to land a brutal punch to Chan’s jaw. “You’re the one who should be killing her, but no, your soft ass can’t do that job! If you can’t do it, then someone else will. I will. Damn Felix can’t do his either.”

“Don’t you dare.” Chan hisses through the pain, wiping his bleeding lip with the back of his hand.

“The princess chose the throne, Bang! Why don’t you do yourself a favor and choose SKZ, huh?” Ho spits back.

Chan’s eyes narrow, the frequencies around Ho start to slow, and the captain knows that this could rupture his insides. Chan’s eyes grow darker, but Ho is quick to defend himself with his own abilities, silencing Chan. The young Newblood loses his strength, his hand flying up to his chest. The infamous feeling of suffocation engulfs Chan as Ho bitterly laughs in amusement, mockery even.

Woojin is completely aware that Ho is capable of silencing two people at once, so he doesn’t resort to his abilities. Instead, he firmly speaks up, “Ho, sir, that’s enough.”

Ho scoffs, roughly latching his hand onto the younger male’s jaw and whispers, “You’re lucky Woojin’s here.”

He strikes Chan one more time with the back of his hand before shoving him towards Woojin. His best friend steadies him, but Chan is far from being worn down. He still manages to stand firm and strong, not a single drop of defeat coursing in his veins. Ho nods towards the door as if telling them to get out. Begrudgingly, the two Newbloods turn on their heels and start to walk away. However, Ho’s spiteful voice stops them. “I’ll give you one week, Bang.”

Chan turns to face his captain once again, and Ho continues, “One week to carry out your mission. If you don’t accomplish it by then, I’m taking matters into my hands. The same goes for Felix.”

“Kiss your lover goodbye if you have to.” the captain’s malicious words feel like acid when they hit Chan and Woojin’s ears.

When the two step out of the base’s grounds and start to walk down the rocky path, Chan mutters under his breath, “Not on my watch.”

Woojin proudly smirks despite the gravity of the situation, letting out a deep chuckle, “I’m with you through it all, Chan.”

#stray kids #chan #bang chan #chan scenario #chan imagine #bang chan scenario #bang chan imagine #stray kids scenario #stray kids imagine #skz #skz chan #chan x reader #bang chan x reader #red queen #au #red queen au #fantasy #scintilla #series: scintilla

[rebeltheanomaly]

Roughdraft/Notes on Grieftale Act 1 Part 3

Papyrus turns around and spots you. "AH! HUMAN! DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE SPIKES, THEY'LL GO DOWN WHEN YOU SOLVE MY PUZZLE!" he grumbles to himself "THAT'S THE ONLY WAY I CAN GET PEOPLE TO SOLVE THEM" then he perks up "REALLY? YOU HAVE A PUZZLE? HAVE I FINALLY MET SOMEONE AS PASSIONATE AS ME?" *Grins* The manufacturer doesn't need it, the buyer doesn't want it, and the user doesn't know he's using it. What is it? "OH! I KNOW THIS ONE! SANS TOLD IT TO ME WHEN HE WAS FEELING MORE LAZY THAN USUAL! IT'S A TOMB! *his grin falters a tiny bit, just to the point that it looks like a condescending smirk* Here's another one, would you rather know the date or cause of your death?* "HMM I DON'T KNOW THIS ONE..." He bends over and rubs his chin and he tries to think. 

*Asks another disturbing question* Would you rather murder 3 innocent children or 3 of your closest friends? "I- I WOULD NEVER MURDER ANYONE! THE ANSWER IS NO ONE!" Papyrus cries. "THERE'S ALWAYS ANOTHER WAY! *smile falters, but is internally laughing like a maniac at what is in his eyes, a "Pathetically Naive Idiotic Child who doesn't see the world for what it is", he makes his face one of concern to mask his true intentions* Oh, i'm sorry... I just... Tend to dwell on those things.... Being through what i've been through will do that to you.. Papyrus looks concerned... then perks up. "HERE! SOLVE MY PUZZLE! IT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER! THEN WHEN THE SPIKES ARE DOWN I CAN GIVE YOU A BIG HUG!!" Ok...*looks around at the puzzle, strategizing, then completing it with ease* "YAY! YOU'RE SO GOOD AT PUZZLES!!" He exclaims, pulling you into a hug. "YOU MUST CARE ABOUT PUZZLES LIKE ME! YOU'LL LIKE NEXT NEXT ONE EVEN MORE!!" He runs off, even floating off the ground, and you see sans a little up ahead, waiting for you apprehensively *Sans senses the demon still in control, and can feel it's aura, it's nothing like Chara or any other fiend he's had to deal with....* Sans feels for the knife in his pocket, gripping it tightly. he stares wearily at you but doesn't make a move, since his brother is still alright. "Hey kid... about what you were trying to do earlier..." he can't seem to bring himself to make eye contact. "nevermind. good job on the puzzle. go on, my brother is waiting for you. just... don't try anything you might regret, okay?" *Grins* The other kid will regret.... *he then walks off* sans's eyes go dark and he tenses, holding himself back. "Calm down sans." he thinks to himself. "They haven't done anything yet. You made a PROMISE." *He runs along, tripping on an icecap "hey, watch the hat!" icecap snaps. "i mean, what hat? i don't have a hat." *grins and runs off with his hat, leading him on a chase* "H-hey! i need that to look cool!" i cries, chasing you up the hill *grins evilly* Have it your way then... *throws it and... basically cuts his head off, like that one guy from Mortal Kombat...... FATALITY!! he turns to dust, his body first, then his head with a shocked expression that says "the ironyyyy" you're now at the top of the hill, and you can see that to safely cross the ice you need to solve another puzzle *goes on, sees the nice cream guy's stall* He looks over at you enthusiastically. "Hey there! Care for some nice cream? It's the frozen treat that warms your heart. I started my own business! See-- every nice cream has a nice message inside the wrapping!" he pulls one out and offers it to you *the gelato suddenly melts and pools at his feet, way more then what's possible, to the point that he's standing in a puddle of it. Suddenly, a giant hand comes out of the puddle and crushes NCR (Fallout joke) guy in it's fists. Lucian looks upon the gorified rabbit creature and sniggers* Guess it's not just revenge that's best served cold... (Insert CSI "Yeaaaahhh!" here) nice cream guy gurgles, his blood turning to dust. he looks down at you with tears in his eyes as his head disappears. You see a fork in the path, the right leading down a hill where you can see sans standing at the bottom, not noticing you. L:*grins, then grimaces, he felt an unpleasant sensation as his skin touched a certain kind of metal, which is picked up by one of Alphys's cameras.... (FORESHADOWING HIS WEAKNESS) He growls and takes whichever path leads to a dead end, scowling to Sans's amusement, though he doesn't know the true extent of his evil yet, he at least knows it's taking control of the kid's body, and that's never a good sign* you find another door to the ruins, with mushrooms in the front. on your way out you find a deer-looking creature, adorned to his dismay with christmas decorations *Ignores it at first, he then takes a vial of blood out of his pocket and rubs it on the burn, soothing it* the deer notices and grimaces (or is that just its face) "that's disgusting." it says. Sans looks over to you, curious. "SANS WHY ARE YOU NEVER WHERE I NEED YOU TO BE" you hear from up the hill. Sans looks up and disappears, leaving you with the deer. (Grins and splashes the rest of the bottle in the deer's face) The deer groans in disgust, rubbing their face in the snow *He finds the decorations become incredibly heavy* the deer is unable to lift their head from the snow, they start to suffocate and struggle, kicking wildly until they run out of breath and energy T^T (The child's leg suddenly turns into a talon as it crushes the Deer's head in with it, grinning) It's so annoying i can only show parts of my true form while i'm stuck in this hideous body... *His leg changes back* But atleast i'm making good progress.. you peer into the cracks in the walls and spot eyes, upon further inspection an entire family of deer are stuck in the ruins, they watch with bloodshot eyes, seeing through you, as if they've stared outside for so long they've lost touch with reality *Looks at them, kinda liking their appearance* Hehe.. *pulls out his Bladed gloves he got from the box, grinning madly* *He lunges at them, ripping one clean in half* (Meanwhile, Alphys discovers an archive on the last creature that had a Crimson soul) Computer: A soul of true evil, those who possess this soul come to spread suffering, madness, chaos and misery. They gain incredible power, and if they manage to kill everything that opposes them they can even destroy the world and remake in their own twisted image. The last one with a Crimson soul comes from prehistoric accounts, when monsters were in their dark ages, for humans hadn't yet came into existence. The Crimson Devil caused several disasters and countless fatalities that happened before earth’s continents were separated. *She sees truly terrifying images, which seem to be artist's interpretations of the event... she has too warn them* Lab:*Alphys's Lab A.I. responds to the words from the computer* So, is it ok to start panicking? "oh my g-goodness, o-oh my!" she gasps, watching the (dog army?) get ripped limb from limb. "this... this is what the files were talking about! i h-have to warn everyone!" she fumbles with her phone, dialing undyne or asgore or anybody that could help. Lab A.I.: Wait.. *rewinds it a little bit, seeing Lucian burn himself on that metal* Do you see that? "Th-this could change everything! I c-can save everyone! oh my gosh, I have to investigate!!" Lab:*scans it* Platinum... Maybe you should look at the archives for the Platinum soul… She scurries to the opposite wall (not visible in the game), which is lined with shelves covered in books. She begins scanning for a book relating to human souls or platinum. The Crimson, unyielding Malice, The Charcoal, Unending despair, and the Platinum, Undying hope... The Crimson will rise and bring utter cataclysm to the world, having learned from it's past mistakes, it will target the one who is destined for the weapon that last took its power. After taking the the body, it will suppress the soul until it is weakened enough to take the body of them, then will challenge the most powerful being that it hasn't yet destroyed, _S__E_ __E___R All will seem hopeless, until the Platinum, along with the Crimson's victims, will all empower the being, now godlike. Even for all the power it has gained, it will fall back to lick its wounds, but not before inflicting the Platinum with an utterly despairing melady The Platinum will turn Charcoal, and even though most of the damage has been reversed, the destined one's family will still be dead by their hand. They will only be saved when the following has been achieved: "The Angel will fall upon belief he is a demon His newfound comrades will cause him to rediscover meaning in his life A black weight will lift on his shining heart And so the new age will begin" i’ll call undyne and we can both support the charcoal soul so it can become platinum again! Lab: Are you really willing to take that chance? Alphys, this isn't some Anime you watch, this is real life, i mean that Prophecy could be only partially true, i mean, this was back when Monsters still believed in Gods for Science sake. (Atheist humor) “monsters will believe again after asgore becomes one, just like i believe in this human!! undyne is going to help too, i just know it!” she dials and explains the situation to undyne, who immediately interrupts her with “WHAT? THERE’S A HUMAN?? WHERE?” Lab:*lets out a long groan* Welp, we're screwed... alphys: oh hush, look we can see the platinum soul in action!! L:*is ambush comedied by Snowdrake* "M.. m.. macaroni and freeze! You gotta chill out, man, or i'll fight you in cold blood!" You slash him across the face. "You're not funny." "THIS won't be funny either!" He cries, sending crescent blades at you, which you dodge effectively, except you slip on the ice a little and take a small cut in the neck. You growl. "Is your flesh rotten as you?" he heckles, continuing to attack you. You dodge more easily this time and get close, smirking. "..heh." You say, staring him right in the eyes. "What are YOU laughin' at?!?" Snowdrake barks, pretending not to be upset. You wanna hear the biggest joke of all? (Incoming Joker reference) "i bet it won't be better than mine." he utters with false bravado *Proceeds to insert nihilism into his head* Everything! All you creatures have ever valued or worked for.. I't all ends... So why care about anything? When everything burns... *grins sadistically as his words worm their way into his mind* One day, you and everything you care about will be gone, and no one will remember it... Life is but a successful virus clinging to a speck of mud suspended in endless nothing... They struggle to make a retort, and slink away utterly crushed… *Grins and manifests his newfound despair as endless jokes playing in his head, constantly reminding him of how pointless everything is, he eventually can't take it anymore...* snowdrake bursts into tears, wiping them away uselessly with his wings. he approaches the river... and just keeps walking until he falls in "as if by accident". in his head he thinks "i guess i walked into that one... ugh that was terrible." he lets himself sink to the bottom, letting out all the air in his chest. (grins and walks on, finding the snowman) Lab: YOU SEE alphys: he was just being rude, he didn't kill him! he just walked off!) "hello traveler! i wish i could see the world like you... please, take a piece of my snow, so that i can?" Lab: I picked up something from that, he was using despair fields to manipulate his emotions... And don't tell me that grin doesn't just scream "Sadistic Psychopath" to you. L: *grins and melts him with Crimson energy, kicks him into the lake, and walks away, he doesn't see the thing rising out of the lake behind him Alphys: What happened to that snowman??? Lab: the negativity magic he radiates... it could have merged with his snow. when he hit the water it froze around him. Lucian:*turns around and grins* This should be interesting.. the ice golem trudges out of the water, its yells incoherent, though if you concentrated you think it might be saying "betrayed" It sends a shower of ice shards down at you *His body lights up in flames of Hatred, then jumping into the golem* your searing heat melts straight through it, leaving a gaping hole in the middle. In the middle hole is a very small, broken soul, which turns to dust. The golem shudders, and turns into water, dousing the area. (grins at his work, he walks on, once again seeing the damned flower) I suppose you want to die too weed? Flowey looks almost intimidated. he's not doing a good job of hiding his nervousness. "unlikely, you overpowered idiot. I'm the prince of this world's future, and you'll get what's coming to you." (he ends up trying to fight back, which happens several times btw) (L guffaws) Goat boy, you had your chance long ago… Flowey starts to grow taller and taller, yet still staying proportional. His face turns dark and twisted. "Now's fine, you idiot" (L's host gains claws, wings, a scorpion-esque tail, and horns) Hehe, you pathetic creatures are all the same... Either too dumb to live, or too weak to fight… Flowey's vines strike the ground like spears, which you dodge successfully, but you get slashed across the arm (not too serious) by one of the last ones. "If it's dumb but it works then it's not dumb, trashbag." flowey says, grinning. (grins) The more damage you do to me, the stronger I become... (tail slashes him) “What? That doesn’t even make sense, you’re just saying that to look cool.” flowey retorts, curving his body away from the tail and sending a shower of pellets Then let me show you... (he realizes attacks that are supposed to do damage only give him more Hp, Atk, and Def.) "What the hell?! HOW ARE YOU DOING THAT?!?" He attacks you with all he has (he pins him to the ground, and stares into his eyes) You clearly don't realize what you're up against! "I..." shit! he thinks. I have to get away! he shrinks at an unexpected rate, weakening your hold of him. He wriggles back into the ground. "don't think this is over, barf brains." he heads for alphys' lab. (he grins and wanders on, wondering if there's any more monsters on the way to snowdin) You approach the bridge, Papyrus and sans waiting on the other side. "HUMAN! THIS IS YOUR FINAL AND MOST DANGEROUS CHALLENGE! BEHOLD! THE GAUNTLET OF DEADLY TERROR!" Deadly objects pop out of a wooden structure above and below the bridge. "WHEN I SAY THE WORD, IT WILL FULLY ACTIVATE! ONLY THE TINIEST CHANCE OF VICTORY WILL REMAIN! ARE YOU READY? BECAUSE! I! AM! ABOUT! TO DO IT!" L: Go ahead.... "well? What's the holdup?" sans asks his bro. "HOLDUP? WHAT HOLDUP? I'M... I'M ABOUT TO ACTIVATE IT NOW!" "that uh... doesn't look very activated." "WELL... THIS CHALLENGE SEEMS... MAYBE TOO EASY FOR THE HUMAN TO DEFEAT. YEAH! WE CAN'T USE THIS ONE! I AM A SKELETON WITH STANDARDS! THIS METHOD IS TOO DIRECT! NO CLASS! AWAY IT GOES" The deadly devices retract into their positions, and papyrus sighs with relief. he runs off, and sans smiles at you awkwardly. "Well... I don't know what my brother is going to do now. Thanks for playing along, i really appreciate it. Just make sure you understand blue attacks, and you'll be fine." (Grins at him, and references his conflict with gaster) I wonder how your father would react..... Knowing you don't even try to save him.... Sans stiffens, his eyes wide and shocked. He rests his hand against his skull, thinking hard with a manic expression. "k-kid... how do you know about gaster?" (he chuckles) You'll know soon enough... (he walks into snowdin, no one seems to have evacuated yet) Sans watches you walk away, unsettled and shaken. He chuckles nervously, grabbing bunches of his sweater in his fists to keep them from shaking. "Heheh... that's right... they probably learned about him in a reset..." He lets go of his sweater, but his hands are still shaking, so he stuffs them into his pockets. His finger brushes against the cold surface of the knife he confiscated. He thinks to himself "I don't remember a reset where they faced gaster... Jeez, I don't have the energy to deal with this right now." He teleports to the entrance of the ruins, sitting down, looking exhausted from the stress. He knocks on the door without thinking. "Knock kno-" his eyes settle on the slight color difference between the snow and toriel's dust in front of him, and his soul squeezes painfully in his chest. He pulls his hood over his head and brings his knees to his chest, burying his head in them to keep warm. he thinks: "The kid's creepy, there's no denying it, but they've been okay so far. They looked genuinely scared and confused when tori-- It couldn't have been them. It had to be a mistake. In any case, they're good to Pap. I'm sure Papyrus will have fun with them... I have time. I'm just... so tired." His eyes close and he drifts to sleep. (explaining why he doesn't save papyrus) (he looks at all the people, he steps inside grillby's, which has no one but a certain fiery bartender at the moment...) His eyes narrow and he stops cleaning his glass. "I'm sorry, we've just closed." (he grins) Then I'll just take my order and leave... (gazes at him) Grillby stares back without any hint of emotion, clearly waiting for you to order. You can sense he's on edge, but nothing he does gives it away. *He grins and slashes at him* Your life. Grillby sort of expected this based on your behavior, so he dodges quickly and throws his glass at you. You dodge as well, but cause a large enough racket that the bear outside walks in. "hey what's goin' on in here? As mayor i need to know!"

#undertale

[showhohyuk]

how about. Me,,,,mmmmm taht @jooheonies love,,,,mmmmm

anon wrote: :D nawar!

bloodorangeki wrote: @jooheonies :/

send me a tumblr user’s url and i’ll tell you what i think about them !

My baby, my angel !! My tentacle lover ! Before we even start with the actual love post and I get all emo and cry over my keyboard I just want to point out the absolute power you hold over me? I’ll go about my day fine and dandy and as soon as you message me my center of gravity immediately shifts and all I can do is sit helplessly as I jiggle like sad Jell-O as the waves of love come crashing over me. (Literally… so evil; Nawar is chaotic evil and will never admit it, what a fool. I know better…)

With all that aside, I can finally validate you miss Nawar to my utmost capacity or until I literally have written a 300k fic about you. Warning it might get sappy and gross but don’t make fun of me I’m sensitive and I have a lot of feelings :(( I’ve rewritten this so many times, I’m only a fool for you.

There’s this artist I’ve followed for months and months, her name is Chiara Bautista; she has a series of works following the moon and night sky (depicted as a bunny-mask donned woman (?) and a wolf, respectively) and it’s honestly, I’ve never felt more moved by art than when I saw those pieces. I lovingly refer to them as being “written in the stars” because Bautista seemingly doesn’t name her works… interesting. But they’re so beautiful and they’re both ethereal and magical but also tragic and heartbreaking. I, a dumbass, have lovingly referred to you as the tragic protagonist of my dreams, and I meant it; because when I saw that art, I realized that that’s how I saw you? In a weird way? You remind me of past lives and soulmates and red strings and sideways glances and etc etc.

I don’t even know why; but you know… I feel like everyone has someone in their life that they can see having some epic love story, or being the protagonist of one. And every time I think of you I think of love written in the stars and fate and I even have this recurring daydream of you and a red string and love so beautiful the universe falls to its knees… and it drives me insane because why… why when sometimes you talk about tentacles and feet and spit and do so much questionable shit… why.

It’s all so endearing though. I promised I would be completely honest writing this and I’m being honest when I say I’m stupidly endeared by all the foolish things you do and the even more foolish things you say. You’ve been told that you’re annoying or clingy or whiny and all this other shit ad nauseam, but I for one find it all so fucking. Precious. I should be annoyed; in any other given situation I would be, but your power is making me stupidly fond of you no matter how much you stress me out by eating dumb shit and all this other STUFF. God. You’ve already heard all of this before, but that’s because I feel like I can be open with you about everything. Usually, I tend to get into friendships I regret especially online, and that’s usually because I don’t know how to say no, but with you it’s all seemed so? Natural, like you’re with me every day and I inherently am with you every day.

You probably think I’m dumb as hell for being so needy about you being needy with me because? Who the fuck does that? Who sits around waiting to validate people? FOOLS. AKA me, the biggest damn fool on the planet; but it’s all for one (1) person. It’s gotten to the point where my friends think that I’m like… in capital-L in Love with you (mood!) or that we’re dating. Haha jokes on you, fools! Nawar is a piece of art and the signs say DO NOT TOUCH ! God, I literally love going on and on about how much I love you and how much you mean to me and everything but? It’s all so real… I’m not even joking when I say I think about you !! A lot !!

Like I love going to sleep at like… 8 PM but I stay up way later talking to you and I don’t even realize the time until it’s 2 AM and I’m sitting there hating my life but not giving a shit because you’re cute and we’re talking about fool things. Tentacles. Shownu’s asshole. Moldy jell-o. Literally anything goes in a chat between tungle users jooheonies and shwhyuk :/ damb, we live like this… Also speaking of… talking. I LVOE YOUR VOICE. God, your voice is so cute and adorable and usually I hate really high-pitched voices but yours… it’s so cute it’s like talking to a whole ass candy bar it’s that sweet. Everything about you is something I usually find myself hating but miss Nawar… you’ve changed my mind about literally everything while simultaneously validating every reasonable thought in my head about people like you. Now I fully support Libras, now I love clingy people, now I love high voices, now I love everything about you try to change my mind !!!

Going back to the art pieces I mentioned way in the beginning but never elaborated upon: I also feel like… you’re the moon of my life? Wow we did a full 360 turnaround but I saw the moon and I thought of you again :/ Like I don’t even know why but I think of all these romantic things and think of you by association; I think my heart loves you but my mind hasn’t caught up yet because my heart’s beating too fast. (That’s the most foolish sentence I’ve ever read in my life and I’m writing a fucking essay right now what the fuck.) The moon? You. The sun? You. The stars? You. Everything in this universe makes me think of you while also being literally lackluster in comparison to you; I’m blinded by the furious rage of my love and nothing can change that… wild.

And on top of being super endearing and cute and everything you’re also fucking GORGEOUS STUNNING BEAUTIFUL INCREDIBLE AMAZING… how did I not elaborate on this before god I’m literally such a fool… BAKA. N e ways, you are literally the goth girlfriend of my dreams that I never knew I wanted but the one I need?? Your fake nose ring?? Your yellow top that could forcibly send me into cardiac arrest??? Not 2 literally be gay or whatever but I’m 1000000000% sure you’re the most beautiful girl in existence I don’t know any girls anymore I only know Nawar hehe !!! Like this entire message is so fucking gay and laced with some sort of gay chaos clocking in at literally 1.1k words right now (which is so fucking unreal because I can never manage to hit the word count for essays but as soon as it’s about you I can whip out a million words in under ten seconds wow conside me… whipped) but I feel like I haven’t talked enough about you? I got 3 separate asks telling me to talk about you so I have to keep fucking going??

I don’t even know what to say because half the time I’m really so stupidly fond that I sit there like a complete FOOL smiling at my phone for no damn reason like we were talking about Boba girl but also I was like “I bet my outfit would snatch the FUCK out of Nawar” like wtf… how could u… distract me from my one and only love miss boba girl… how… that’s true power: knocking my thoughts away from a cute girl to THE CUTEST GIRL !!!! THAT’S YOU !!!! I know I’m so incoherent now compared to earlier but I’ve been writing for a whole ass hour and I’m now realizing I could go on for another eighty but I don’t want you nor anyone else to suffer from my undying love? Stop Shannon from literally being in love with Nawar challenge :/ Failed.

I’m not even going to proof-read this because I know just how much of a mess I am like this is so wild… what the fuck am I doing… how did I go on this long. I know I’m gonna feel like I didn’t write enough and make a part two or a part million because damn… I love running my mouth about you :/ I’m literally only stopping for everyone’s sanity because this shit is now 1.4k and I can’t believe I’m writing in?? Arial at pt.10 single-spaced and I’m at two (2) whole ass pages like mf NAWAR LOOK AT WHAT YOU’VE DONE TO ME… GOD.

GOOD FUCKING NIGHT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH OR WHATEVER… HHHNNGN EVIL. I’m gonna go and sob into my pillows about how much I love you now… I’m such a mess !

#hopefully there's no mistakes i didn't proofread and im tired hehee #I LOVE YOU I GUESS FOOL #jesus christ it's 1.4k im gonna die wtf #WHY #answered #ask game #jooheonies #@nawar

[looseygooseyfreshandfruity]

So I have daddy issues...now what?

I need to vent. No one really reads long posts on Tumblr. I mean, hey, if there isn’t a cute cat gif, then what I am even doing here? Anywho, my dad left me, but then he came back. And it only gets more confusing from there. 

He left me when I was 10 to get sober because he fell off a ledge into some a pit of white rocks, if you know what I mean, but his real downfall was at the bottom of a bottle. So he had to leave the place where he would fall which makes sense to me now, but at the time how could I know that he just wasn’t leaving me? Low-and-behold, the abandonment issues began. It probably started before then because he wasn’t really around due to the whole falling off cliffs and into bottles thing, but this is when it stuck. That memory of him calling me saying he’s not staying for me hit me hard, kids. But OBVIOUSLY! Shit SUCKS. But hey, now I’m a grown-ass adult. I know why he left, and he came back sober! How could I ask for anything more? 

And yet, even though he came back, I’m still fucked. I used to think it was because I was an overdramatic hoe that was making things up...my anxiety, my eating disorder, my depression, the ways I unknowingly projected on every man I have ever interacted with. I don’t know how to have a healthy relationship. The one healthy relationship I had was entirely because the other person was stable and some of it rubbed off on me, then I fucked that up. Whether it be romantic relationships, physical relationships, a relationship I made up in my head because of a glance, I can’t do it. Oh, fun story, I’ve known this guy for three weeks, right? One night, I can’t sleep so you know what I do? I write our fucking wedding vows. And I’m not talking like “little one second vows, hehe.” I was straight up picking out qualities I had noticed about him over the 5 minutes I knew him and wrote specific wedding vows. And this isn’t the first guy I’ve done this with. In fact, he’s not even an exception. This is the norm for me. Any guy that I have ever found attractive, I done it to. Maybe not to the extent of our wedding vows, but it is not outlandish for me to have picked out the color of our bedroom. Now hold up. If someone is reading this who knows I have found them attractive, don’t get all excited. It’s called “projecting,” ya not special, sweetie. I have a million and one reasons why I think I project on men. I want their approval. I want their undying love. I want them to need me. 

This guy I mentioned didn’t sit next to me in class one day. After going to therapy for a month about my father, unearthing the years of known and unknown buried trauma, this is what did it. This is what sent me over my ledge. I felt absolutely rejected, unattractive, invalid, and wrecked. Also, it was an 8 am...as if it couldn’t get any worse, it was right after I had gotten out of bed...the least favorite part of my day!!! So then I went to work for 7 hours, and while eating my “you’ve-had-a-shit-day” Chipotle, I watched a commercial of a dad dropping his young daughter off at school, or a dad washing his daughter’s clothes, or a dad putting his baby girl to sleep - idfuckingk, but it triggered me. Full on panic attack. So I call my mom, the best and worst thing to do in a crisis. She made me feel better for a minute as I vented about if I wanted a relationship with my dad or if he even deserved it, and she decides this was the right time to throw out a hypothetical, “Well, what if I told you he was dying?” The worst part? I pause, hesitate, question, “Well, what if he was dying?” before even thinking, “Well, is he dying?” “No, he’s not, but I just thought I would ask.” ...thanks mom.

Anywhore, this all goes to say that I don’t know what to do. I’ve talked with my dad and told him where I am currently at, so I figure I can now inform those who are still with me. I need space to process because this is the first time I’m processing things as an adult. I’m still angry, sad, anxious, all o’ that. I may always be. I came on here to maybe get some clarity through my rambling, but I’m still just as confused as I was 10 minutes ago, 10 days ago, 10 years ago.

Thanks for joining me on I definitely didn’t need to know that, with your host, Lindsey Reed. (oh, also I think I’m gonna change my last name to Castle because all my dad did was impregnate my mother which, newsflash, isn’t a very difficult thing to do for men (also this is not an insensitive comment to men who are infertile, it’s an insensitive comment to my father who came in my mom and got a trophy with his last name on it even though he chose drugs over her then left her)).