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#obey me! crack
absolutepokemontrash · 11 months
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What time is it? Time for Stupid Headcanons!
So, you all know those “weird little girl” memes where we all talk about how we do blood oaths and sacrifices and ancient ceremonies to summon elder gods into this mortal plane during sleepovers? Yeah.
The most popular of those memes involves the summoning of demons, of course~ so can you imagine the brothers getting summoned??
I’m reality, I think they’d just leave immediately after seeing their summoners are just a bunch of preteens who had no clue what the fuck they were messing with…
All but the king of sleepovers himself, ASMODEUS
Little Girl 1: So… you’re a demon?
Asmodeus (braiding her hair): Mhm~ <3
Little Girl 2: Does that mean you can like… steal people’s souls n’ stuff.
Asmodeus: Eh, only sometimes when I’m feeling particularly crazy~
——————
Little Girl 1: Do you think Jason likes me?
Asmodeus: Honey no, from what you’ve told me you deserve better than him.
Little Girl 3: See! That’s what we’ve been trying to tell you!
Asmodeus: But that girl he’s seeing, Jessica, do you want me to kill her for you? Like- summoners choice. I’m down. She sounds like a bitch.
Little Girl 1: …mmm.. I dunno. I feel like it’d take a lot of therapy for me to get over.
Asmodeus: Fair~ but the offer’s still on the table for later~
———————-
Asmodeus: So, as much as I like hanging out with you girls, I have to ask…
Asmodeus: Do any of you have some single parents~? Or a lonely widower father who needs some action? Ooo, or a recently divorced mom who needs to take a new man for a spin?
Little Girl 2: Well uh… my mom’s divorced.
Asmodeus: Ooo~ show me a picture~
Asmodeus: …niiiiiiice~ okay~ see you girls later~! Thanks for summoning me~ this was really cute!
Little Girl 3: Bro I think he’s gonna fuck your mom.
Little Girl 1: Did we just have a sleepover with your new demon step-dad?
Little Girl 2: EW!
Little Girl 2: …but it’d be cool to have a stepdad that can braid hair so nicely-
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undeaddevildom · 2 years
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It has been unanimously decided that mc is the entity of the baackrooms... Watch your knees back...
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bite-sized-devil · 2 years
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MC: "God I wish someone would knight me. Then I wouldn't have to sit through this stupid lecture."
Solomon: "How would being knighted help with that? The only difference would be that you'd have 'sir' in your title."
MC: "Is that what that means? What's the one where you get your head chopped off?"
Solomon: "... A beheading."
MC: "Yeah that one!"
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thelifeofplums · 2 years
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Younger brothers reaction to an MC on helium
Satan
He’s aware of what inhaling helium can do to a human and their breathing
And he’s not exactly pleased that MC would do something reckless like this for the sake of pranks
Satan makes sure to properly lecture them 
But not after trying to recover from MC’s previous attack where they decided to make a little meow while on helium
MC just sounded so cute!
That little meow they made just struck him like an arrow to the heart
It was just like the cats he took care of and their small little voices
But this time it was MC so it made it a whole lot more cuter
Although Satan wasn’t too fond of MC inhaling helium and potentially damaging their lungs, he really wants to hear MC meow for him like that again
Guess it’s time to pull out the old spell books....
Asmodeus
He loves it
MC just sounds so adorable and cuddly
Asmo’s all over MC and he asks them to sing for him or to say something cutesy
He thought of trying it but then MC started coughing like crazy and he decided he’d rather not damage his lovely voice for the sake of sounding cute
like there are spell books for that sort of stuff
Beelzebub
“Why do you sound like that, MC? Are you ok?”
When he heard you speak on helium for the first time he was extremely concerned
What happened to you? Why’s your voice like that?
He honestly thinks a witch or random demon placed a curse on you and he was worried it’d get worse
But when you tell Beel it’s only for jokes he smiles a bit
He can’t deny you sound adorable with your squeaky voice
He’s a bit curious and would want to try it out for himself
And Beel does try it and you have to hide your laughter because it’s oddly comical that Beel, a large demon, sounds like he’s a chipmunk
Belphegor
The moment you enter the attic and speak, he throws a pillow at your face
He finds it so incredibly annoying, especially since he was trying to have a peaceful nap
Belphie just doesn’t see what’s so funny about it given that you’re intentionally doing it to piss him off
It’s your newfound weapon to torment the poor demon and Belphie has already had enough of it
The next time you enter his room to bother him, he pulls you towards him and starts tickling you as a way to stop you
Belphie can’t help but smile as your laughs are as high and crazy as a hyena 
So really...he only likes your voice on helium when your laughing but other than that.....please just leave him alone
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astaroth1357 · 3 months
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For your consideration:
Lucifer and Mammon display nesting behaviors.
If MC takes a nap around the House, they'll wake up surrounded by a mound of blankets, pillows, and various random shirts and jackets from their closest.
They think, "Oh MC might get cold, I'll go get them a blanket." ... then another, and another, and another, and...
Then their bird-brains forget even doing it until MC wakes up or they need their clothes to go out somewhere.
Belphie has woken up in similar fabric piles before and it weirds him out that they keep doing that
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lovetei · 10 months
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Things that the citizens of the Devildom witnessed that will prove that this Human have the characters at their beck and call
Versions: The Brothers, Side characters
Warnings: Gender neutral pronouns for MC, Cussing, Slight yandere themes (Belphegor, Asmodeus)
Links: Masterlist
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LUCIFER
This demon likes sticking to rules
Running on hallways? Detention
Eating during class? Detention
Not paying attention to class? Detention
No one is safe...
Except for one person.
The cafeteria if filled with loud noises, your voice shouting profanities to another demon specifically.
Everyone listening to the argument feels like they're stomach is about to burst out of nervousness because "What if Lucifer randomly comes in and put all of us is detention because we just stood by and didn't do anything to stop the fight?!"
And he did.
But what surprised them is that he didn't shout or anything, he just stood there for a few second and scanned the crowd looking for one of his brothers.
Spotted Mammon and came close to him before whispering something among themselves.
And then he just stood there
Doing nothing
As if it's just fucking okay to let a human, the exchange student at that, to scream and curse a demon because he won't cooperate into this project.
And when the demon started cursing back at you, the rules are suddenly so strict as if cussing will cause the end of the 8 rings of hell.
The demon is sent to detention, removed from the group, suspended, and many more.
And who knows? Maybe you pulled just a few strings to have that demon expelled.
But what the citizens sure know is that they never saw anyone again after talking to MC like that.
MAMMON
It was cute
Mammon would do anything for you, no matter how big or small it is.
One day, Mammon was spotted running around the halls of RAD.
Looking like he's getting chased by Lucifer, again.
But surprisingly, he's not.
He's just running around the school fetching your fan, notebooks, bag, pens, water or some snacks.
One time, you two were put in a group for this project and were talking about it with your other group mates.
Then you hit him with a "Mammon, I left my notebook on my desk in the potions class, can you fetch it for me?"
With just a blink of an eye, Mammon who was leaning on your shoulder just a few minutes ago is gone.
And with another blink of an eye he's there again with your notebook on his hands then he's back to leaning on your shoulder again as if he didn't just go to the other side of the school for a notebook.
LEVIATHAN
He's introverted
He won't go out his room if it's just for some lame party
I also headcanons for him to be the most unseen brother
Or like him having the smallest amount of photo and information online because he just won't go out.
Yeah, he won't go out if it's just some small, lame party but if Diavolo hosts it, what exactly can he do?
"Do you think the avatar of envy will attend this party?"
"Ha! No way... Lord Leviathan won't attend small parties or gatherings like these unless Lord Diavolo hosts it himself."
"Lord Leviathan really has a high standard when it comes to gatherings..."
And then poof
He's there
Beside you
A happy go lucky sheep beside a gloomy snake
What a match
And if you ask him why he would attend such gatherings when it's totally not even his style he would just go like "MC."
"What can I do? MC really wants to see the fireworks display."
"MC wants me to escort them."
So they got the hint on how to make Levi attend gatherings, either have Diavolo host it or invite MC too.
SATAN
He's angry
But not angry enough to yell when MC is around
Man's can go from 👹 to ☺️ real quick as soon as he felt MC's prescense
He doesn't know why too, but whenever he yell while you're around he thinks he'll fall out of favor
"WELL MAYBE IF YOU'RE SO PERFECT THEN WHY DON'T YOU GO AROUND WHILE YOU HAVE YOUR HEAD FAR UP YOUR ASS- Oh, Hi MC? How are you?"
He'll talk so sweet in front you and then when you turn around you can see some veins popping out of his neck and forehead.
And if he can't really handle it and went berserk in your prescense another scary yet amazing thing you can is to put your hand on his body.
Shoulder, head, neck, wrist, arm, wherever it is.
Just pat him or link your arms with him and he will start to calm down.
ASMODEUS
People headcanon him to like it when you're obsessed with him but I think he's more obsessed to you.
Like he's down bad
You can do anything and he'll literally fawn all over it
"Look at the way they run their hands through their hair!"
"Look at how they work!"
"The way they hold that fork is so graceful~"
Literally, you're the only person that comes to his mind when someone said pretty
Except for himself of course
But I swear, whenever someone caught him staring at you the atmosphere gets so thick
You don't even know why but the atmosphere is heavy and the air suddenly smells so sweet
And those heart in his eyes, the way his pupils dilate
Yeah, you have this man worshipping you alongside himself
BEELZEBUB
Other than the fact that he's actually willing to share his food with you
He's willing to help you in any physical works
Like lifting up things, carrying your stuffs and sometimes even running errands for you
I mean, he actually doesn't do it a lot because Lucifer actually asks Mammon for this stuff because the things Lucifer needs to be done is a little...
Shady?
And he doesn't want to taint Beel's innocence.
So now since you're already a part of the student council when Lucifer needs to have something important finished but it requires physical work.
You and Beel will be partnered
And he doesn't have anything against it either
He likes it so much when you command him to do something actually
I mean, he's tall and buff but Lucifer won't ask him to do anything that includes hard labor except taking care of Belphegor
So you actually helping him make use of all those muscles made him feel a tinge of happiness
He feels like he's actually of use :)
BELPHEGOR
This little brat
He would kill for you and he means it
He's not scared to spill blood on broad daylight as long as it's for you
Someone bothered you? Dead
Oh this person annoyed you? Taken care of
Aw~ He told you you're cute and asked you out on a date? That's sweet! Dead.
He's just like that
He won't tolerate anyone who dared disrespect you
And Lucifer won't even put a stop into this
"I mean, Devildom is quite overpopulated and we don't want anyone disrespecting Lord Diavolo's plan on bringing the three realms together now." Is what he reasons everytime.
Oh, he also wakes up on command as long as it's you.
Lucifer and his brothers could be shaking him like he's dead and he won't even bother to open his eyes
But if you just pulled a "Belphie? Good morning..." Oh dear, he's wide awake and clinging to you.
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devildomangel · 8 days
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MC who was sad that they didn't get to see the Solar Eclipse so Beel and Belphie decided to recreate it for them.
-MC, wearing sunglasses and sitting outside the HOL-
Lucifer: MC! What in the nine circles are you doing out here?
MC: I'm watching the eclipse.
Lucifer: We don't even have a sun in the devildom
MC: Shhh! It's starting!
Beel, Wearing a cardboard cut out of the sun: *Standing still*
Belphie: *Wearing a cardboard cut out of the moon, passes by Beel*
MC: Hell yeah
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tsukii0002 · 5 months
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Mammon: Demons do not feel guilt, that is only for humans and angels.
Solomon: ... *grinning* Remember that cake you ate the other day?
Mammon: Yeah.
Beel: It was delicious
Levi: An Ur+ ranked cake.
Solomon: It was Mc's
Mammon: ...
Beel: ...
Levi: ...
Solomon: They had been working for two weeks to be able to buy it because it was an ultra-exclusive promotion.
Mammon: What-
Solomon: They came home tired every day from work and attending to your selfish needs… all so they could share that cake with everyone *falsely tearing*
Mammon: *crying* I'm a monster!!!
Beel: *sobing* WE are monster!
Levi: *balled up in a corner*
Mc enters the room and sees the brothers crying.
Mc: What have you done?
Solomon: Me? nothing :D
Mc: Don't tell me you are surprised when people tell you that you are more demon than human.
.
.
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cosmicstarlatte · 1 year
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Diavolo: Do you have representation?
Mammon: I call upon my lawyer MC!
MC: My client is innocent!
Diavolo (pinching MCs cheek): Of course he is, case dismissed!
Lucifer: Lord Diavolo there's crisp clean video of Mammon stealing from-
Diavolo (petting & cuddling MC): MC said he's not guilty, so he's not. What's so hard about that?
Lucifer: MC do you handle murder cases?
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rktksmdrm · 7 months
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mammon & mammon
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Stupid Headcanons, get your stupid Headcanons here!
Lucifer’s familiars will often flirt for him, with, mixed results to say the very least. They’ll waddle up to Diavolo or MC and just open up their feathers and S T A R E at them until they eventually waddle back to Lucifer.
It’s very confusing.
Diavolo (whispering): Do you think it’s trying to tell us something?
MC (also whispering): No idea…
Peacock Familiar: *S T A R E*
MC (still whispering): Do you think we should just… walk away..?
Diavolo: ..that would be rude but…
Peacock Familiar: *S T A R E*
Diavolo: I think it’s necessary.
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undeaddevildom · 2 years
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pov levi forgets mc at dashcon
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devildomwriter · 2 months
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The Brothers When MC is Angry
Accurate representation of MC’s threat level vs size
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hopeluna · 3 months
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Belphie at Diavolo's parties: this place is so fancy, I don't know which fork to kill myself with
Asmo: the fork on your right.
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✨With the punch of a pentagram I wap bam boom alakazam✨
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mariiio · 2 months
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Just made some obey me memes, your welcome >:3
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