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#obey me incorrect quotes
Lucifer: We will be doing a RAD activity soon
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Lucifer: MC will be in attendance as well
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fluffimemes · a day ago
Satan: Ma'am, it has been reported lately that you do, in fact, have little paws-paws and a little button nose. Do you care to comment?
Cat: Meow!
Satan: Great!
Lucifer: ...Am I interrupting something?
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Asmo: *having a break down*
Mc: asmo, why are you Looking up
Amso: I want to cry but my makeup Coast a fortune.
Mc: ...
Mc: you do know that tears are good for getting rid of spots and cleaning your skin right.
Asmo: ...
Mc: ...
Amso: give me 10 minutes, I'm going to take my make up off then we are gonna have a good cry
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homicidal-ana · 16 hours ago
MC: Hey, Satan, what do you think it would be like if we had kids? Satan: What would it be like? Inconvenient, mostly. MC: No, I mean, what would they be like, the kids? You ever think about it? Satan: Can't really say I have. MC: You know, for someone as eccentric as yourself, you can be boring as fuck sometimes. Satan: Sorry, MC. For what it's worth, I'm picturing them now. A boy and a girl. Two perfect little freaks of nature raised by people who've clearly got no business bringin' up anybody.
Happy Birthday to Satan
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iameliseposts · a day ago
Lucifer: I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you.
Mammon: And I'm trying to avoid it!
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mammonswhore · 4 months ago
MC: Okay we gotta be quick and silent for this one,kay? Lucifer won't find out we were here
Mammon: gotcha *falls and breaks two vases, three paintings and a door*
Lucifer: *appearing from the shadows* they told you to be quiet
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fanimesenseiwrites · 8 months ago
Things the MC would bring back to their demon bois from the mortal realm:
MC goes to second hand stores and vintage shops always on the look out for vinyl records that they think Lucifer would like.
Most of the time they try and bring back stuff he'd actually like, such as Tchaikovsky or Vivaldi
Once, they brought back Stravinsky's Firebird Suite and Lucifer wouldn't stop kissing them (once they were in the privacy of his room of course)
Sometimes the MC will bring back more modern music just because it makes them think of him
"I dunno, I just listen to Hozier and think of you"
Lucifer doesn't like all the modern music they bring back but he appreciates the sentiment just the same
Then there's the gag gifts...
Any kind of music that has a reference to the devil or Satan or hell is fair game
These gifts usually elicit an eye roll from the eldest brother but he keeps them all the same
This is why Lucifer owns a copy of "The Devil Went Down To Georgia"
So when MC brings back a copy of Giuseppe Tartini's Violin Sonata in G minor, they're a little surprised at Lucifer's delighted reaction
"You know, I was the one who visited Tartini in his dreams."
MC's mind = blown.
"Also, this copy is cursed. I know you know how much I enjoy cursed vinyls."
"I- wait... What?!"
MC is very upset that they had a cursed vinyl in their possession this whole time
This boy loves stuff, and he loves MC, so he's gonna love any gift really
But MC knows he loves treasure and jewels and as much as they'd love to just bring him back nice watches and jewelery...
So MC settles for semi-precious stones instead
They always find fun and beautiful stones at museums and those metaphysical stores and they always pick out one that reminds them of Mammon
They're really nervous when they give him his first gift
"Hey, I got this for you and I know it's not fancy or expensive but I saw it and thought of you and I just wanted you to have it."
Mammon will love them until they die. He is really just so touched that MC thought of him. He'll try and play it cool though
He totally fails. MC won't tell him that though
MC brings him Lapis Lazuli and tells him it reminded them of his eyes and Mammon is now a puddle of lovesick goo on the floor
Mammon puts more shelves in his room dedicated to all the gifts MC gives him
One time MC brings him back some fool's gold in a teeny little jar on a chain, so that he can wear it
"Fool's gold? Why cuz I'm a fool?" Mammon asks with a roll of his eyes.
"What? No, cuz I'm a fool for you."
Mammon only love MC until they die? WRONG.
He's gonna love them forever now
He was gonna do that anyways
C'mon, this boy is easy. Anime/manga stuff and TSL. Need I say more?
At first he'll be suspicious of MC wanting to give him gifts, but once they've convinced him that they're doing it out of the kindness of their heart he's really touched
The first thing the MC brings him is a pen with a little Ruri-Chan on the end of it
"I know it's not much, but I just happened to see it and I knew you'd like it"
Like it??????
He's never seen anything like this in the Devildom and he doesn't think about the small stuff usually because he's too busy trying to get the big collectors edition items. So he actually really loves this.
MC continues to bring him cute small stuff like buttons and keychains and Levi loves them all.
His favorite item(s) that MC brought him is a pair of Lord of Shadows and Henry BFF enamel pins
He definitely tackle hugged MC when he got them
He gives the Lord of Shadows pin back to MC so they can each have one and show off their BFF status with them
MC loves going to second-hand bookstores to shop for Satan.
Satan also appreciates new books, but there's something special about how his face lights up when he finds something old or rare. Anything with a little bit of history to it.
Of course, finding rare books for not a lot of money is a rare event in itself
So a safe bet is to bring Satan non-fiction, the boy loves to learn
But he really loves it when MC puts thought into finding fiction books that he would like
"I just really feel like you'd like Dean Koontz so I brought you one of my favorites by him."
Satan loves those gifts the most because he can talk to MC about the books afterwards
Satan's absolute favourite gift is a leather bound copy of Arabian Nights though
"I was thinking we could read this one together"
"Like you read it to me and pretend to be Scheherazade?" Satan suggests.
MC is flustered at the connotation of the suggestion but agrees anyways
The time they spend together reading that story will forever be one of Satan's favorite memories
He's a little harder to shop for than the MC had originally imagined
They tried bringing him make-up and skin care, which Asmo always graciously accepted, but he never seemed super excited about the gifts
But what else is to be expected from the guy who already uses only the best products?
MC suddenly gets an idea when they send Asmo a selfie of them at the park
- OMG! You're so cute! And the background is pretty too!-
MC starts dressing up and going to nice and beautiful places just with the intention of taking pictures
Botanical Gardens, museums, downtown skylines, anything that would make for a good picture
MC goes full on aesthetic art hoe just for Asmo
Only the best pictures get sent to Asmo
Asmo is LIVING for the looks their MC is serving up
- You are absolutely STUNNING! I'm in awe at these AMAZING pictures-
MC makes a scrapbook of the best pictures to give to Asmo the next time they see him
Asmo loves it and keeps it on display in his room always
Also, Asmo definitely makes MC their personal photographer after seeing the wonderful shots they took
Obviously, the boy loves food. He's always down to try new snacks from the mortal realm.
But MC wonders if there's something better that they could bring him
One day MC is at GNC for supplements for themself when they notice the workout supplements and get an idea
They grab some fun flavored protein powder and some BCAAs and a really nice shaker bottle just for Beel
Beel is actually really excited to get these gifts!
The Devildom doesn't have fun flavors of protein powder and the shaker bottle is such a great idea!
MC always brings new flavors of protein back for Beel, doing their best to find the weirdest flavors for him to try
Beel's favorite is definitely Birthday Cake.
MC starts bringing him new stuff to try too, protein bars, recovery supplements, collagen, and superfoods shakes
Beel tries everything and tells MC what their favorites are
"I love the BCAAs, I just wish the Devildom had them..." *sad Beel noises*
MC may or may not talk to Diavolo about researching BCAAs and getting them produced and sold in the Devildom
The supplements MC brings actually help Beel with his workouts and to control his hunger (a little)
Beel actually gets hotter??? Who knew that was possible???
MC definitely takes advantage of Beel's new 8-pack 😏😏😏
What do you get the boy who only wants to sleep?
MC has gotten him stuffed animals and blankets and even a couple of nice pillows, but nothing seems to excite him
... but maybe that's just his personality??
It's not until MC accidentally leaves a sweater in the Devildom, that they figure it out
- You left your sweater down here- Belphie texts MC.
- Oh no, I'll just get when I come to visit y'all again-
- That's fine. I like having something that smells like you-
And the light bulb went off in MC's head.
Every time MC goes to visit they leave a shirt or sweater behind for Belphie, so that he can have something that smells like them.
Belphie loves how MC smells, its like a sweet dream all the time. It helps him sleep better when they're gone.
Belphie starts to complain when MC is gone longer than the item they left smells like them
(Which is every time)
So MC will start leaving Belphie more than one item, packing them in airtight bags so he can use them one after another until they return
Belphie can and will fight anyone who tries to take MC's clothing
"Mammon, you have two seconds to put that sweater back or I will kill you."
And Lucifer probably won't stop him
He's honestly the easiest to please.
He's so fascinated with any thing that humans do that he'll enjoy any gift from the human world.
MC's first gift to him is a rubber duck.
"The duck is wearing a crown so it made me think of you and I just thought it was cute."
"I love it! What's its purpose?"
"Uh... to float around in the bathtub with you and look cute?"
"Isn't that what you're for?"
Diavolo loves the rubber duck so much it gets his own silk pillow to rest on when it's not taking a bath with Diavolo.
MC brings him cute pens, and keychains sometimes bottles of wine if the bottle is cute.
"The bottle is shaped like a cat! Isn't that delightful?!"
MC's proudest moment was when they found a full and intact tea set at the thrift store
Diavolo immediately fell in love with it.
He insists on only using that set when having tea with MC
But his favorite gift will always be the rubber duck.
He'll insist that he doesn't need any gifts but that won't stop the MC.
MC is with him in the kitchen in the Demon Lord's Palace when they get an idea.
Barbatos works so hard, he deserves some things to make his life easier and liven up the bland kitchen
MC's first gift is a vegetable spiralizer.
"You use it to turn zucchini and squash and the like into noodles so that you can do fun stuff with vegetables!"
Barbatos accepts it graciously, but he'll probably never use it.
MC brings him spices from the mortal realm and Barbatos actually really loves those.
When MC brings him a food processor, he offers to cook for them right then and there
Despite all the weird gadgets MC ends up bringing him, and there are plenty out there, Barbatos's favorite is a ladle that looks like a stegosaurus.
It's far more whimsical than anything he would've ever picked out, and he'll never use it, but only because he's afraid of ruining it, not because he doesn't love it.
At some point, Barbatos does ask MC to stop bringing him kitchen gadgets
"Why? Do you not like them?" MC asks with a pout.
"I appreciate all of them, but I have everything I need when you're in the kitchen with me."
If MC wasn't already in love with him they are now
Smooth bastard just doesn't want anymore shit in his kitchen
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meenah-chan · 3 months ago
Mammon: MC!! I have something to show you!!
MC: What is it?
Mammon: On cue... Go!
Mammon's crow: *walks like a ramp model*
Mammon: Pretty cool, right?
MC: *amazed* Oh my, Mammon how'd you do train him?!
Levi: *watching from the distance* pfft, show off normie...
Levi: *Enter his room, to the aquarium* *stares at Henry*
Henry: *stares back* *blobs bubbles*
Levi: Henry, do the barrel roll.
Henry: *does a high-speed barrel rolls*
Levi: Hmrmhrm...!
Levi: MC!! I have something to show you!! *runs out of his room*
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astaroth1357 · 6 months ago
Lucifer: *standing on the tile* No. 😠
MC: Please?
Lucifer: No.
MC: Your toes are burning.
Lucifer: ...
Lucifer: *trips Mammon over then stands on his back*
Lucifer: That's better. 😏
Mammon: EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!!! *pushes Levi off the couch and pins him down with his feet*
Levi: Gah!! What was that for!?
Mammon: *holds down a hand* I'll let you back up for a Grimm. 😁
Levi: *jumps onto the couch*
Levi: FINALLY! Witness my platforming skills!!
Levi: *tries to jump onto the coffee table but slips and falls over*
Levi: .... Nevermind. 😥
Satan: MC, I'm trying to read...
MC: Come on, Satan! Please?
Satan: Not right now.
MC: *huffs and leaves the room... Comes back an hour later carrying a cat*
MC: *tries to drop cat onto the carpet, but Satan flings himself under its paws like a meatshield*
Satan: What is wrong with you!?! 🤬🖕
Asmo: *doing his nails* No thanks, MC. Playing a game like will mess up my hair.
MC: ....
Asmo: 😨
Asmo: *screams and hops onto his vanity*
Beel: No it's not, MC... It's wood.
MC: *leans in a little* It's a game, Beel. Play along...
Beel: Oh. *looks down at his feet*
Beel: Ow.
MC: ... Thanks Beel.
Belphie: *rolls off the couch and onto the carpet*
Belphie: Then I'm dead. Game over.
MC: You're no fun...
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fluffimemes · 2 days ago
Lucifer: I would love it if you two would stop committing crimes.
Mammon: Listen, we’re a team here, we’re a family, but just to be clear,
Mammon: Leviathan's the one who did it.
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Satan: ARE YOU-
mc: -fucking-
Mc: -fucking-
Satan: -IDIOT!!
Asmo: and why is this happening
Mc: satan was banned from swearing by lucifer so I offered to help out.
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qshara · 25 days ago
What would happen if you leave them in the same room?
Room 1
Sirius: Why am I in this room?
Hideyoshi: I wonder the same
Comte: Can we finish this parent meeting soon? I left 9 vampires alone and I'm sure they already destroyed my house
Room 2
Jonah: How dare you lock up the Queen of Hearts with these ... three strangers
Yves: Strangers?! You're talking to Yves Kloss, the fifth prince of Rhodo-
Ieyasu: Oh great, now the royalty has gathered to scream in my ear
Mozart: Why do I always have to be with the noisy ones?
Room 3
Vicent: Oh, I don't know you. Let's be friends!
Licht: I have a feeling Yves is trying to break down that door
Luka: Do you also have a brother obsessed with you?
Room 4
Leonardo: Tasty old men?
Shingen: Funny room name...
Sirius: Oh come on! It must be a joke! I'm not even that old
Jin: You are in the denial stage. We all go through the same
Room 5
Ray: I think I'm seeing double
Napoleon: Are you sure you're not twins?
Nobunaga: I have never seen this man in my life
Leon: We don't even look alike
Room 6
IkePrin MC: It must be very difficult to keep 10 vampires in such a large mansion
IkeVamp MC: Don't even tell me. I can't imagine how many times you got lost in the palace
IkeSen MC: Why do we always take care of cleaning? I would like to have another job ... like being a warrior!
IkeRev MC: Yes! We should make a revolution!
Obey Me MC: -sheep noise in approval-
Room 7
Satan: So ... can I get an autograph from Sherlo-
Arthur: No
Part 2?
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Mc: Caffeine no longer keeps me awake while I work, so instead I have Lucifer periodically send me texts saying ‘we need to talk.’
Mc: It gives me the right amount of adrenaline and fear I need to keep going.
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mammonswhore · 5 months ago
MC: *sitting in the common room scrolling thru her D.D.D*
Mammon's Little D's: *hands her several gifts* happy Mothers Day,MC!
MC: *confused af* thanks you?
*later on*
MC: Mammon I said that if you were going to suck my titts I wanted a mothers day gift AS A JOKE!
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incorrect-obeyme · 15 days ago
[On a mountain hike]
Satan: It’s beautiful out here.
Asmo: And quiet.
Lucifer: Too quiet.
Levi: Did we lose someone?
[cut to Beel with a bear in a headlock]
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nyxs-sins · 19 days ago
MC: What if we’re all wet, and water dries us off?
Levi: What-?
MC: If the chicken came before the egg, where did the chicken come from?
Mammon: And how did the first chicken know to sit on the egg to make it hatch?
Lucifer: Don’t encourage them, Mammon.
Asmo: Guys it’s 2 am! You’re ruining my beauty sleep!
MC: If Asmo looked into a mirror, could he charm himself?
Asmo: I-
MC: And why are you’re colors all weird?!
Satan: Our… colors..?
MC: Ya know, “seeing red”, “green with envy”, so why is Levi’s color orange, Satan’s green, and Beel’s red? Also, why does Lucy always wear red when his sin is blue?!
Lucifer: Did you really just call me “Lucy”?
Beel: What color do you think my sin should be, MC?
MC: ORANGE! And Levi should be green and Satan red.
Satan: No.
Levi: …
Mammon: Yeah so, with that, the humans just guessed which one of ours correlated with each sin, and at first they mistook Satan’s wrath as envy so that’s where they got “green with envy”.
Asmo: OH! I remember that! And the first time they met Beel he was on a tantrum because he wasn’t getting enough food fast enough, so they came up with “seeing red”.
Lucifer: And I wear red because it draws more attention to me as someone who commands respect. Blue is too soft a color.
Satan: MC are you reading this?
Levi: I think they’re a sleep.
Lucifer: I’m going to go to their room and wake them up, they’re staying up all night for causing this little ruckus.
Mammon: Oh no you aren’t! You just want to see their sleeping face? They’re sleeping face is MINE.
Lucifer: …
Levi: …
Satan: …
Asmo: …
Beel: …
Belphie: …
Mammon: …
Belphie: All in agreement of playing “Catch the Mammon”?
Beel: Yep.
Mammon: Since when where you even awake, Belphie?!
Belphie: I’ve been up this whole time.
Mammon: EEK!!!
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