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#obey me really has consumed my every thought
marxo-fm · 8 months
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Sessions; ii
—highly suggest you read part one first. ✯ playlist for sessions is out now!
Summary: König admits his obsession that he has with you to the point where it’s unbearable, as the two of you make up for the time missing in your office.
Warnings: Mentions of adult themes and language, some plot with smut, smut smut smut—did I forget to say..smut? innocent!reader, virgin!reader, Obsessed!König, mutual masturbation (I lowk surprised myself with this omg) König teaches the reader some things, praising, size kink.
Words: 2.2K
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A/N: CREDITS TO @/xbruised_peachx ON TWITTER!!! CHECK HER WORK OUT it’s seriously amazing. This fic is so filthy like I seriously can’t believe I wrote this, but can you blame me? SMH. There will be a part three after this so bare with me, and I’m sure part three would be the final part. Maybe soon after I’ll write a Ghost fic, (wink wink) Btw I created a playlist for this fic and it’s on my masterlist! And let me know if you want to be on my taglist for part three!!! Okay, bye bye now peeps, thanks for reading! :)
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You consumed all of König like a drug he just can’t let go of, you were his addiction, the only person that keeps his mind at ease from the world; and he’s sure he’ll never be sober. Because he’s nothing without you.
——
“What?” You pant, looking at him through your heavy eyelids. His sea colored eyes gazed your upon your flushed body once more, swearing under his breath that he may not be able to contain himself once he’s inside. Inside your mind and body. When he said he wasn’t done—and that he’s just getting started—had you feeling unknown emotions. You’re anticipating what he’s going to do with you, and you shift on his thigh that is soaked with your juices from actions before.
You can’t help but blush, feeling rather shy underneath his strong gaze. The tension almost unbearable, the sexual tension. He is eager to touch you, to taste you, and to fucking feel you under his touch.
You clouded his mind, making it harder for him to form sane thoughts.
“I said, we’re not done, Schatz.” He chuckled, his mood shifted from before. Seeming more possessive and more hungry. Starving. “What are you going to do?” You question, and that right there—made König glare at you. Burning holes through your eyes. Nothing but hunger behind those eyes, almost the same as a hungry predator finally having their prey in sight.
In that situation, König is the predator, and you’re the prey.
He kept you there, on his thigh, until he spoke. What he said next absolutely shocked you to the extreme, “no no, I’m not going to do anything—liebe. I’m just going to watch, watch as you please yourself for me. Can you do that?” He smirks under his mask, from what you can tell, his eyes lightened up in admiration. Seeing how you fell apart little by little, and it’s all because of him.
You stammer, unable to form words correctly as his statement. Your stomach flipped and heat took over your body once more. “I..oh,” you whispered, goosebumps form all across your skin. “Lie down, Prinzessin.” You paused for a minute before finally processing König’s order. You obeyed, and that only turned him on more than he already was. If that was possible.
You made it so fucking easy for him.
“Look at me, mein Schatz, don’t be nervous.” He assured, “you have no fucking idea what you do to me.” König admits, shifting his entire body towards you on the couch. You almost want to hide from his eyes, those eyes that tell so much yet so little.
He moves closer, his rough hands are placed on both of your knees and you yearned for him to search your entire body. “Every second of my day, everyday, you haunt my mind. I finally have you, I finally fucking have you, Mein Liebe .” Your breath caught in your throat, you want to speak—you really do—but he admitted how much he thinks of you, right in front of you. I’m going crazy too. You thought, what he confessed last session was really true, and now you’re just as crazy.
He wants to fill the void, the void that kept you two apart for almost months. Now, König will make up for the precious time missing.
“König, I don’t know what to say.” You confess, holding yourself steady with your arms behind yourself. In all honesty, you really didn’t know what to say. It was difficult to form any thoughts at the moment. “I don’t need you to say anything.” He said lowly, his rough hands rubs circles on your knees. His touch drove you insane, (he’s only touching you—yet you feel like you’re going to pass out.)
“Soft.” He states, spreading your legs wider and you gasped at his actions. Your skirt rode up, revealing little to his imagination. Your soft skin under his rough touch was enough to kill a man on the spot. Most certainly a six foot ten man.
“We’re going to take it slow,” he began, his German accent thick. “And then slowly, I’ll have you unravel in my hands.” You want to tell him that you have already fallen apart underneath him, and suddenly, he’s hovering over you.
He’s big. His huge torso blocked your view of the ceiling and you gulp. He leans down to your ear and you shiver, “let me be the therapist for tonight, liebe, let me be the one that eases your mind.” He offered, and you quickly accept it.
Though his words had your heart racing to the end, beating against your ribcage, felt as though your heart completely stopped. You let him take full control of you, you allowed it and you don’t regret it one bit.
He backs away, and the emptiness of his heated body left yours, leaving you feeling cold. Just come back and touch me yourself.
He watches you, not saying a word as you both held intense eye contact. His sea blue eyes soon trained on your panties, and in response, you clasp your thighs together. Everything in König’s eyes changed, his eyes are now possessed with anger. “Open.” He demanded in a voice so different from before.
König’s entire demeanor changed, “I..I’m sorry.” You stammered, his mood doesn’t change after your apology and now—you wish you’d never done what you did. You think of something, something that’ll get his mood to change.
You figured it out, you honestly surprised yourself for what you’re about to do. Slowly, you take your fingers and trail them up to your thighs. Your fingers go under the hem of your black underwear. He cursed under his breath, and that tells you that you succeeded. But you’re confused as to what to do next, you know you’re supposed to touch yourself, and that made you feel hundreds of feelings.
But you didn’t want to do anything yet, you patiently wait on him to say something. To speak.
“Remove them, Liebe.” The word Liebe, you wonder what it means. You look at him for a few seconds, then you proceed. Obediently taking your panties off and your hands shake while doing so, you’re immensely nervous and too flustered to comprehend anything. He helps slide them off your legs and then throws them on the ground. Too consumed with the way you presented yourself in front of him, it felt like his soul ascended.
(…)
He wanted to fuck you right then and there, the sight of your pretty pussy soaked with legs open wide, all for him. All for König.
Holy fuck. He murmured to himself. He can’t help his painfully aching cock bulging against his pants, and he’s holding back every attempt to stuff you full. König’s using every muscle and strength he has in his body to withstand his desires. “So pretty, and it’s all mine. All of it.” He growled, your hand covered your slick cunt and he let’s you do it.
“Mein Schatz, touch yourself for me, think you can do that? Hm?” You nod, vigorously. Quickly, you touch your sweet spot and slowly rub yourself. Your touch had you throwing your head back, but König didn’t want you to look away. “No, face me. Look at me.” He demanded, not allowing you to hide yourself.
He gives you another minute, trying his best to not thrust his fingers in your throbbing pussy. He really tried. “Doing so good,” he praised. You shove a finger inside and you let out small whines. Those whines that König wanted to turn into screams. You screaming his name would be burned into his memory till the day he passes.
(…)
Your finger wasn’t enough, and embarrassingly, you didn’t really know how to please yourself other than just rub slow circles. He saw your face twist in frustration, your fingers trembling before him and unable to fully insert your small fingers in. You whine, needing him more than ever.
“Want me to teach you? Liebe?” You nod, mind going dizzy at the thought of him touching you.
Now how can he decline when you asked politely? He couldn’t.
He brought his thumb to your clit, and sparks run through your entire veins. He fulfilled your wish, rubbing circles on your clit with his rough thumb and he found amusement the way his simple touch had you gasping for air. You instinctively buckled your hips and moved back and forth, desperate to have him move his thumb move faster. “No, be patient, Schatz.” He demanded sternly, whines and whimpers left your mouth from his torturous speed.
“Please, I need..you.” It’s you saying it instead of König, and he couldn’t deny that it made him crave you more. His thumb suddenly quickens its pace, then, he stops. You whimpered at the sudden action, “why’d you stop?” You huffed in frustration, wanting more and more and more.
He doesn’t answer your question, instead, he shoves his calloused middle finger inside your throbbing cunt with no warning. The size difference of just his finger, had you breathless. You’re not sure if you could go on, thinking to yourself how he’d fit inside you when his middle finger is already stuffing you full.
You felt like you were drowning, all water was filling your lungs and you were no longer breathing. It’s what this felt like. The burning pleasure that was also painful had you gripping onto König’s wrist. No—it wasn’t because you wanted him to stop—that’s not it, he was going painfully slow. Taking his time with you. The time that was wasted between the two of you.
He suddenly curls his middle finger and goes incredibly faster. The sounds of his finger and your slick filled the silence of the office, and you felt shame. Still, you didn’t care, you wanted more. Whimpers, whines and König’s name leaving your mouth echoed in the room, and he swore he could die on the spot.
That was enough to drive a man to insane levels.
“Fuck, du bist so süß!” He groaned in German, and you can’t deny it, him speaking German made you burn with arousal. “W-what does that mean?” You ask, as if he’s your German instructor. “You sound so sweet, liebe.” He expressed, taking his thumb and rubbing circles on you sweet spot while his other hand thrusts faster.
Not only did you learn something in German, you learned what it finally felt like to truly feel alive. You’ve never felt more alive than this moment.
His finger continues to pump in and out of you, faster. His fingers coated knuckles deep with your slick, and he chuckled at the sight, earning a moan from you. König brushed over your g-spot continuously, something you were never able to do with your own fingers.
He’s a big man. So big it’s almost inhumanly impossible. Like he was crafted by the Greek Gods themselves.
“I wish you could see how beautiful you look.” Mentioned König, you couldn’t help but blush more at his praise. It only makes you closer to your finish line, so close.
“König,” you sighed, “I am so close..” his eyes diverts its focus to your flushed face, letting out a deep groan. “Yeah? How close, Schatz?” He teased, you furrow your brows in frustration. He inserts another finger out of nowhere and your breath is caught in your throat, “oh!” You shout. Electric shocks run throughout the entirety of your body.
“Tell me now, how close?” He huffed, though you couldn’t process what came out of his mouth, since you’re lost deep inside of heaven. Your eyes roll back and your mouth gaped open, gripping your skirt that’s at your hips with both of your hands.
Your vision turns black and you see nothing but stars, and König’s eyes trained at your arousal. You thought you lost hearing, since all you could hear was a loud ring in both of your ears. Your orgasm hitting you like a hammer to a nail. “Oh darling, no need to say a word, you were closer than I thought.” He quipped, taking his fingers out painfully slow.
The cold air made you wince, feeling the emptiness of his warmth when he took his fingers out of you. König left you stunned, taking his fingers into his mouth and finally tasting you.
As if tasting your mouth wasn’t enough, he tasted your arousal and your stomach flipped. The sight of him tasting you was something you’d see in a daydream, but that turned real. He licks his fingers clean, then looks at you hungrily. Leaving him addicted to your taste, and he wanted more.
“Divine.” He groaned, leaning into your body and dipping his head into your neck. Lifting his mask up and proceeding to kiss your neck, licking stripes of your skin. It was all so much for you, too much. It felt was like your soul ascended to the heavens, and it was König who made you feel like that. You feel so hazy, so lost in your emotions and feelings. It felt ecstatic, the heat between your legs became hotter when König kisses you.
Allowing you to taste yourself inside his mouth, almost unbelievable.
The kiss this time was tender and soft, but it quickly switched to the kiss from before. You wrap your hands around the nape of his neck, leaning him impossibly closer, and your legs wrapped tightly around his waist. Allowing him deeper inside your soul.
“This will be a night you will never forget, Liebling, I will make you beg to have more, mein Schatz, my treasure. Mine.”
——
NOTE: Omg it’s finally out after just writing on it for a few days, I felt so motivated just finish this part. Which means there’ll be a third part, concluding the end of this series! I genuinely want to thank those for reading, means so much to me! :) Be sure to check the masterlist!
✯ Taglist! - @liyanahelena @sleepy-time-dreamy @yourmomsmilfmistress @backgroundgirl887 @cumikering @aly0be
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jaketsparrow · 5 months
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Tending Part 5!
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Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f! Reader
Word Count: 11.1K
A/N: Sorry I just had to tease you guys today and make you wait :) Again, I’m so very sorry this took a while, I just had a lot going on! I hope you enjoy the chaos of this chapter, my mind reallyyyy just went wild. 
Another special shout out to @gvfpal for being amazing and getting the first dibs on this piece! Thanks for always listening to my crazy ideas :) 
MINORS DNI
MENTIONS OF/ TW: Sexual content (of course), unprotected sex (Don’t do this!), angst, swearing, Dom! Jake, restraints, possible orgasm denial, impact play, etc, it’s filth. 
Masterpost
Driving lately has become a weird buffer zone in your life. Every time you get into the car your thoughts just start running. It feels like stepping out of your life momentarily; like you are closed off from your own world. It was like being in your own TV show and watching the recap of the last episode. It’s safe, isolating, and a place to let your thoughts just go. 
As usual, your thoughts go to Jake. He has consumed your entire mind. You were once happy being alone; in fact, you preferred it. Every man you’ve dated in the past year or so hasn’t been someone to take home to the family. Honestly, neither was Jake yet, but there was something different about him. Jake was different than any man you had been with, you felt like he did care for you, but he just didn’t know how. It was like he was a confused little kid who didn’t know whether to kick his mom or hug her when she came home from a long day away. 
You’ve never found yourself weak or needing a man, but Jesus fucking Christ, you needed Jake. Every time you’re in his presence you can’t help but feel your heart rate rise, feel the need growing between your legs… He just had this majestic siren song that you keep falling for. You’ve accepted at this point that Jake was right, he will never be the perfect boyfriend, let alone the perfect man. He was protective of you and did care for you, but he would never let you know that without a fight. 
“Pants off, now.” He commands. 
Oh.
Did he really just?... 
He’s standing over you with this stupid judging face. You don’t want to obey him, but your body is telling you other things. Your heartbeat has traveled from your chest down between your legs, pulsing at the thought of fucking him again. You feel frozen in this state of complete lust. Last night’s extravagance deprived you of his cock, and now… that’s all you want.
Clearly annoyed by your hesitation, Jake scoffs and reaches down to your waist. He wraps his arms around your midsection and lifts you over his shoulder. Your core cuts into his shoulders as he hoists you over him. You feel like a ragdoll trying to manipulate your way out of his grasp.
“Jake!” You whimper, trying to wiggle yourself into a more comfortable position.
“You really ought to learn to fucking listen to me.” His open palm meets your clothed ass, providing a cushioned, but still stinging smack. You yelp, quite loudly, surprised by his actions. He turns his head to look at your defeating position, “You’re in big fucking trouble now.” 
There he was. The Jake you have been craving. The Jake that surprised you your first night together. The Jake who you always secretly wanted, but were also a little scared of. This version of him was almost completely heartless, using you as he pleased. You become his plaything when this persona switches on. And you enjoy every minute of it. 
He loops his fingers underneath the waistband of your sweats and yanks them off in one vigorous pull. Your ass is now on full display. You reach below his shirt and rake your nails across his lower back, trying any means to rile him up further. 
Jake winces through gritted teeth, “You’re such a fucking whore.” 
“And you fucking love it,” You cry.
Another open-handed smack breaches your ass; another yelp fires out of you. This one is sure to leave a mark. 
“You’re gonna wish you were good.” 
He starts his walk to the bedroom, and you continue to try to wiggle free of him. His grip is firm on you and the position he’s burdened you with provides no leverage to win. Although you really don’t want to be set free, it’s more fun not to completely comply with 
his whims. 
He approaches the bed and throws you down with a brute but controlled force. Your head falls back into the mattress you neatly made not that long ago. You reach your hands out to brace yourself from breaking. The fabric bunching up in your fists. 
“Hey! I just made this!” You chime.
Speaking at that moment was something you instantly regretted. 
Jake is standing over you, breathing hot and heavy. The tension in the air is thick and you know what you have gotten yourself into now. His demeanor is fierce, brow furrowed and eyes glaring through you. His hands are balled up by his sides and you can see the rigidity in his body. Behind his eyes, his brain is wracking through plans of what to do with you, his disobedient girl. 
You slide your legs up and down the mattress, nervous and excited about what he is thinking of. You run your hands down your stomach, trying to entice him to do something, do anything to you. Anything he wanted. You slowly part your legs, presenting yourself to him. 
“No. You don’t deserve that.” He barks, “If you think any of this will be for your pleasure… You’re delusional.”
“...Jake.” You beg. 
He reaches down towards your head, sending his fingers through your scalp and to the back of your neck, whipping you up, tugging his fingers on your hair. He leans closer to your face, still hovering over you. 
“Not.” A harsh pull at the back of your head puts you eye to eye with his looming presence. “My,” Another wincing pull tearing at your scalp, “fucking name.”
Jake holds you in his grip, dominating you completely. You feel defenseless, like an injured bird, waiting for him to care for you, but he doesn’t. 
“Please! Please, sir!” You beg. 
He releases you from his grip and your neck snaps back up to its rightful place. 
“Color.” He demands. 
You look up to him, eyes fierce and ready. “Green.”
Jake grabs your jaw, resting his grip along the bone, “You are mine right now. I didn’t give everything up for you to be flirting with my fucking twin. Do you understand me?”
You nod your head vigorously, feeling the shame settling in you. Who knew you could feel ashamed and horny all at the same time. 
“Words.” He orders.
You swallow any shame and try your best to put it aside; it wouldn’t help you now.
 “Yes, sir.” You mewl.
His hands move to the side of your neck, holding your jaw firmly with his thumb. 
“You know what you should be doing right now.” 
He guides your eyes down to look at the growing bulge in his pants. He seems harder than ever before, completely drunk on his own control. You look up at him through heavy eyes, scared. You’ve been here before. You need to please him again. 
Jake releases his hand from your jaw and moves it to run his fingers through the top of your head, coaxing you to get started. Gently placing your hand on his cock, you try to gently stroke him through his clothes. 
He fists your hair into his fingers, “No, no teasing. You don’t get to do that right now.” 
There would be absolutely no option for control for you. No teasing, any brattiness would come with a consequence. Jake steps back and leaves a bare spot on the carpet in between you two. His hand pushes you forward, launching your feet onto the rug, and then onto your knees. He releases his hand from your scalp and starts unzipping his pants. 
You are completely silent; compliant with his wishes. Waiting for his instructions. Your head rises to watch his cock slide out from his boxer briefs. It was daunting to see him like this, completely full, swollen even, bigger than you ever thought he was before. His right-hand grips around the solid skin, slowly stroking. His other hand reaches out to grab your cheeks, holding your mouth open in an ‘o’ shape. 
Your eyes graze up his body to meet his eyes. The chocolate brown irises are almost unrecognizable in this position. His dominating stature shines over you, completely taking over you. You can feel your excitement growing beneath you, but there is nothing you can do about that. The warmth that was blossoming between your legs would be shut until your turn if you were even allowed one. 
He loosens his grip around your jaw, resting his hand under your chin. 
His velvety tone sweeps into the air, relinquishing any uncertainty you had, “If you need me to stop,” Three taps of his fingers rap gently across your jaw, “Just do that, okay? Tap three times.”
“I won’t need to stop.”
A complete surge of neediness consumes you. You need him, you need to make him feel special, to remind him that you were going to be the woman he would never forget. You take your hands from your lap and fly them to his body. One hand grips into his thigh and the other takes its position around the base of his shaft. You nearly knock him over in the act, sending him into pure bliss. Almost taking him out of his command, shocking him with your ability to be the whore he wanted you to be. 
“Fuck…” He cries. “My fucking little slut couldn’t even wait-”
You slide your mouth as far as you can down his shaft, gagging yourself on all of him. His body shudders below your hand and you feel proud of your ability to melt him as much as he does to you. 
It doesn’t take too many wet strokes for him to finally gather himself back. His hand reoccupies the back of your head, trying to chase that same feeling again. Your mouth is shoved with as much of him as you can take, almost too much to handle. It’s worth the praise, you tell yourself. Take all of him now, and get all the rewards you can. 
“You’re taking me so well.” He says in gravely tones. 
You truly weren’t, you were choking him down, barely hanging on. Tears streaming down your eyes. You try to shoot your best doe eyes up at him, begging for him to have enough. You were reaching your limit, pushing yourself to a new maximum. 
Your head kept bobbing rhythmically against him, trying to hold him deep in your throat. You were doing things you didn’t even know your body was capable of. 
“My best little whore looks so good down there, sucking my cock.”
A swift and hard push of the back of your head launches you as far as you can take Jake, knocking your nose into his lower stomach. 
Three taps.
Fuck. You did need to stop. 
Jake slides out of your mouth as you cough heavily, gasping for air. You collapse your head, trying to stabilize yourself. Deep breaths. 
Jake tucks himself back into his pants and tries to assess the situation. He bends down to you, bringing his face down to yours; sweeping the hair out of your face. The switch was flipped, he was going into protective mode. 
“Sunshine.” He whimpers. You try to hold back your coughs and lift your head to his. He pushes the last strand of hair out of your eyes, “Are you okay?”
You nod your head, holding your breath in fear that more wheezes are going to escape. One deep breath through your nose clears the burning tickle in your throat. 
“Yes, I’m okay. Keep going.” 
His face lights up with your permission. The classic Jake smirk runs across his lips, almost a full smile revealing his excitement. 
“Good girl.” 
The words melt you. Any bit of praise was going to keep you going; it was going to make you need him more. 
He lifts you slowly back onto the bed, trying his best to be gentle only for this moment. He sprawls you out onto your back and sits next to you. 
The slowdown of all the action, the passion, is getting to you. He’s treating you like a weak girl, but you weren’t. He just took you by surprise. You wouldn’t let that one moment take away the Jake you had been craving. 
“C’mon, are you going to fuck me?” The words sputter out of you, only half confident, but still ringing strong through the air. 
Jake snaps his neck to scowl at you. There it was. 
His arm travels to your neck, holding you in place, once again choking for air, “What if I’ve had enough of you today? What then?” 
What if? Would he still be here if he did?
“You fucking want it and you know it… You’ve been thinking of it since last night. Seeing my cunt all soaked and not getting to feel it for yourself.” 
Who the fuck just said that? A month ago those words wouldn’t have even been something you would be comfortable thinking, let alone saying out loud. 
Your vile words shock Jake as well; you can feel the grip on your neck waiver a moment as he processes. And then. Well.
“You think you fucking know it all? My little slut thinks she knows me better, huh? I think it’s you that’s been craving my cock. You could barely wait your turn to fucking choke on it. You’re dying for me to fuck you. You’ve been naughty, trying to get me to take you. Being a little whore in front of me. Now you can wait.”
Jake stands up, and for a moment you’re actually worried he’s about to walk out of the room. Instead, he reaches for your left ankle and yanks it to the corner of the bed, the sheets sliding you across the mattress. 
“Shirt off.” He orders, and you comply instantly. 
He rounds the edge of the bed and grabs your wrist next, pulling it up by the pillow you slept on last night. With his other hand, he reaches deep into the side of the mattress between the bed frame and pulls out a restraint. It’s a soft cuff with velcro to hold it together. He holds it out for you so you can see. 
“Green?” He asks, eager for your answer.
“Fucking yes.”
A rip of velcro and then the cuff is wrapped around your wrist. You softly tug at the restraint, noticing it wasn’t going to be easy to break out of it, but you guess that was the point. 
Two more rips and soon your ankles are loosely restrained to the corners of the frame. You have more movement with your legs than your hand, but still would not be able to break free of the cuffs. 
He walks around the bed to the other side, surveying your naked body. Taking in each inch with his gaze. He was going to be the predator, and you the helpless prey. 
One last rip of velcro and the other cuff wraps around your wrist. Once he’s satisfied with the cuffs, he walks over to stand directly in front of you, watching you test each limb for movement. 
“What if I just left you like this? Just stood here and watched you beg for my cock.” The words are cold and cruel. You can feel the fire, no, the need burning in you with the thought of not having him. 
“No! Please, please. I need you. I want you.” You beg mercilessly. 
“So much for all that back talk before, huh? ‘Please’” He mocks. “I’m not so convinced you’re ready to be good yet.”
The need is gathering through your stomach, down between your legs. There was no way to hide the slickness that was starting; he would be able to see all of you.  
“Please!” You gasp, “I can be good, I promise sir… Just please fuck me. Fuck me, Sir!”
“Hmmm…” He drops his hands down on the mattress, staring you down, watching you writhe through the desire. “You don’t deserve anything. Trying to make me upset, trying to tease me, such a fucking whore today.”
The words coming from him are completely a facade. He knows he wants this now. He’s in too deep. He loves to see you like this, completely helpless; completely his. You have more of a say in this than he wants you to know. But you know what to do. You know the games he likes to play. 
“Please, baby. I know. I was such a bad girl… I’m a dirty slut. I fucked up. You can be mad at me, please… please just take me, I want to make you happy.” 
He watches you for a brief moment, letting the pleads hang in the air. His eyes are lit with an insatiable lust. He wanted it. He wanted it bad. He may be able to mask it with his words, but his body tells a completely different story. He pushes himself off of the mattress and begins to undress himself. Teasing you with each reveal of his tanned skin. 
First his shirt. The edges of the fabric slowly climb their way up his gorgeous soft stomach. It was like a curtain lifting at the beginning of a show, each inch elevating your excitement for the first act. 
The silence was eating at you. What was he thinking? What was he going to do…
“Please, Please…” You implore. 
Next is his zipper, slowly sliding down to once again, reveal his bulging, practically jumping cock. The sight of it is sending you into a ferality. You pull against the restraints, trying to lift yourselves towards it. Paying no mind to the forces holding you back, you try to reach for him.  
“Tsk, tsk, tsk,” He growls, “So impatient.” 
Pleading moans erupt out of you. You feel like you’re being withheld from the thing you want most, well, because you are. You feel your core tightening. His sultry, teasing behavior is absolute torture. 
“I need you! I need it, please!” 
Slowly, the remainder of his clothes fall off of his body, revealing his perfect stature. His body looks like it’s carved with absolute perfection and care. Each edge is softly rounded, ready to be touched. 
He crawls across the bed, bringing his head close to your aching cunt. His breath permeates your skin. He reaches one finger up to your lower stomach, slowly dragging it from your navel to your clit. You’re whimpering with each movement he makes. 
“Is this...” He finally plants his finger firmly onto your bundle of nerves, shocking every muscle in your body, “What you want?” 
“Yes, yes, yes…” The words are echoing out of you, pressing for more. 
“You’ve been very good, surrendering to me. You know your a bad girl, right? That I’m being extremely forgiving for even taking you this far.” 
“Yes, sir…” 
His tongue crashes into you, at first wide and spreading you, then narrowing onto your needy clit. The first pass over you sends you into complete shock, you can’t do anything but feel. The restraints prevent you from being at all distracted by anything but his soft, precise movements. 
He builds his pace, tasting everything of you that he can. 
“Oh poor thing, you can’t even help it.” He teases, “You just have to take it all.” 
“I want it all…” It’s getting harder to even form sentences. All you can think about is his face on you, completely drenching you. His tongue exploring each fold, each sensitive spot. You feel the tightness, the excitement rushing through you. Your legs shaking, arms fighting against the restraints. Labored moans fighting their way out. 
“Oh, well that won’t do.” He stops everything, denying you the release you were feeling so close to, “I’m sorry sunshine, but this is for my pleasure. Remember?” 
You whine, exasperated cries spilling into the air. 
“Are you being ungrateful?” 
A flat-handed smack splays across your swollen cunt. You lift your neck to watch it all happen. The evil smirk splayed across Jake, the hand meeting your skin, the soft gasps escaping your lips. 
“Color?” He asks. 
You think for a moment, “Green.”
Another soft blow swats at you, absolutely wrecking your body. Each blow feels like a shock wave of filthy pleasure. 
“Fuck…” This moment felt so dirty. Felt so good. He always pushed you to new levels of pleasure. 
He wastes no time at this point. He can’t wait any further to feel you. He knows he can’t hold out on you any longer. 
Jake pushes himself up on the mattress and starts to slowly pump himself. A steady stream of spit falls from his lips onto his cock, lubricating himself. 
“Are you ready for this?” He asks, most likely not caring how ready you are, it just means he was ready. 
You nod your head, unable to even fathom the force he will bring to you. 
“Words.” He commands. 
You strain to focus yourself, “Please just fuck me.” 
He reaches over to the corners of the bed, releasing your ankles from the restraints, but leaving your hands in their disciplinary holds. 
He grabs your hips and lifts you to line up with him. His cock blows into you, straight to the hilt. You moan loudly, almost graphically. He squeezes his thumbs into your sides, stabilizing himself. Low grunts come through his gritted teeth.
He isn’t giving you any mercy, pounding himself into you. Each drill pushes further and further into you, breaking you in two. 
“Fuck, you feel so good,” You groan. 
“Yeah? My little slut likes getting fucked like this?” He asks. 
“She’d like it a lot more if you were harder,” You reply through choked breaths. 
You don’t need to beg much for this. 
“That’s why you’re my fucking favorite.” 
Jake assumes his hand on your neck, gripping you tightly. You thought he was going hard before, but this was unreal. Each pump into you provided a harsh blow to your body. It was calculated, menacing, everything you fucking wanted. 
You feel him fill you entirely, your cunt consuming every inch of his unyielding cock. You feel yourself already losing control, building to climax. He feels so good, better than ever before. You both feel confident in each other, and you both know how to get each other to the highest high. 
“Oh, you think you deserve to come?” 
Fuck. 
“Please!” You beg. “Please sure, please.” 
He looks deeply into your desperate eyes. He can see the absolute terror of being denied. You feel like maybe he might give in, might let you get there. You know how close you are and you can feel him getting there too. You risk it all. 
You wrap your legs around his waist, holding him into you, preventing him from escaping. 
“You fucking-” 
You both gasp in unison, reaching your orgasms just moments after the other. Jake lowers himself by your ear, uttering complete pornographic moans. It feels intimate to hear him like this, to hear how happy you’ve made him. 
Your body shudders underneath him, clenching around his softening body. Your restricting hold increases every tightening muscle in your core, lifting your back completely off of the mattress. Feelings of butterflies flurry through your body, starting from your satisfied cunt, down through your legs. 
You both mix within yourself, feeling your body flood with him. 
“You fucking slut.” He chokes out. 
You giggle in his ear, “Admit it, Jake, you fucking love it.” 
Instead of feeling excitement for your destination, you just feel uneasy. You could feel the sweat slickening the steering wheel the harder you gripped it. Deep down, there was a part of you that wished you didn’t agree to go see the band. 
The last time you interacted with Josh, it left Jake feeling jealous. He truly had no right to be jealous of you just making friends. But now, there was some lingering destructive intent. You wanted him to feel that way; as petty as that was of you. You were always the one chasing after Jake, begging him for attention, begging to be the only one. That morning with the twins was your opportunity to give him a taste of how it feels to be you. 
That point didn’t entirely come off to him, instead, the argument just led to more intense angry sex. That was always going to be the best way for you two to get in the mood. 
You hate knowing that Jake can get out of any argument by getting you fired up. At least you knew that all these arguments could in theory just be your foreplay, not ever real fights. It made you feel diminished, but then again, he would always find a way to make everything up to you by the end. 
Jake and his stupid, stupid apologies were going to kill you someday.
You both knew you had work that night, so Jake opted to drive you home so you could get ready. The morning and early afternoon flew by at his house. You were quite exhausted at that point and were ready to wash away the very sinful acts that still lingered on your skin. 
You didn’t have much time to prepare yourself for the shift and had to rush through your usual routine. Shower. Brush your teeth. Get dressed. Get out the door. The whole hour went by in a blur. 
And just as usual, you pull through the cavernous parking lot of fleets and find your always unoccupied spot in the back. You still manage to arrive before Jake, whose car was missing from the lot. You turn off the engine and head into the back door. The kitchen is busy, with loud clanging and shouts emerging from behind the hallway walls. 
You drop your bag and head out to the main floor. Chris is nowhere to be seen yet, and the only other employee you can see is… of course. Mariella. 
She’s wearing this shit-eating grin talking to the regulars. You feel a wave of disgust run over you and you have to try and control yourself from letting your emotions get the best of you. The last time you saw her she was trying to fuck up your relationship with Jake, and well… She succeeded. You can’t let her do that to you. You can’t let your jealousy burn through what you have with him. He chose you, and you chose him. 
Breathe through it, let it go, and kill that bitch with kindness. 
You walk to the bar and hop under the counter, joining her behind the bar. She doesn’t turn to acknowledge you as you clock in. It all feels so middle school. You pretend she doesn’t exist, and she’ll probably do the same. 
The dishwasher beeps and you run over to start emptying the glasses. She pops her head over to look at you briefly but turns back to continue flirting with the 40-year-old in front of her. 
You’re extremely annoyed, but continue to complete your chores; well technically hers. Where the fuck is Jake? And why the fuck is she still behind the bar? 
“Hey girl,” Hearing her voice is like the equivalent of drinking lemon juice. It’s bitter, soured, and ultimately- unpleasant. 
You don’t even bother to look back at her, instead zeroing in on the steamy glasses. 
“So,” She starts, “I hope I didn’t fuck things up with you and Jake.” 
You snap your head to look at her, trying your best to display how uncomfortable you are in her presence. 
She’s so fake. Of course, she hopes she fucked things up. She manipulated you with the perfect words to turn on Jake. You continue to pull the glasses out of the dishwasher, lining them up on the counter to be put away.
“No things are fine. We talked it out. He said he’s done with all the temporary girls.” You glare back at her. 
Being petty is fun. 
“Aw, well I’m so glad to hear it babes,” She rests her hand on your shoulder and breezes past you out from behind the bar. “Oh and don’t worry, I closed out all my tabs.” 
The rage is filling in you. You felt brave at this moment, ready to settle any sort of anger you felt with her. 
“Mariella.” She stops to turn, just a few feet away from the counter. You stride over to the corner of the bar, separating you two with the counter. “What you did…” Your voice and bravery is starting to trail off when the reality of the situation was setting in, “What you did was fucked up. You knew I liked him before you did anything with him. When I finally got my chance you chose to be a backstabber and try to kill my dream. That’s not what friends do.”
Her face hasn’t changed through any of your words. A scowl is burned across her brow, “Who said we were friends?” 
Her words take you back. You thought you had been friends. You had worked at Fleets together for over a year now and had spent many nights together drinking and complaining about the shithole bar. Now she was denying it all? 
No. You can’t let her keep getting to you. You can’t let her make you second guess yourself anymore. 
“No, you don’t get to do that to me anymore Mariella. You don’t get to make me feel like shit. So what you had Jake first? So what you don’t want to be my friend? I am not jealous of you anymore, and you can’t make me feel second class just because your tits are bigger and you can seduce any of these losers in this bar. I won. I get Jake.” 
Mariella bursts out laughing, almost in tears. “Whatever! You won! Great for you. Hope you enjoy it all. Good luck with that mess of a human! I hope you’re very happy together.” 
She continues laughing to herself as she walks into the back office. 
That wasn’t the satisfying ending you wanted. 
You pull into a spot in front of the venue. The parking lot was dimly lit and full of cars. People lingered in front of the door, chatting, sharing cigarettes, waiting for something exciting to happen. 
The band had already been here for an hour or so setting up; probably having some pre-show drinks to loosen up. Even though they don’t go on for another twenty or so minutes, you decide it is better to leave earlier than to just sit idly waiting in your apartment. But now that you were here, and were early, you don’t want to go in until it’s time for their set to start. 
You feel your heart climbing into your throat. You truly didn’t think you would still get anxious over these things, but after everything that’s happened this week, it feels like walking on glass. 
You press your hands into your face and try to regulate the fear permeating through you. You try your best to flush it away, remembering you’re only here to support the band. You can’t let Jake’s jealousy control you forever. Whatever happens, happens. 
Jake walks through the back and heads towards the bar. As soon as he sees you a huge smile appears on his face. Was he actually happy to see you, or was he just thinking about what you both did just hours before? Either way, you smile back. The cheerful appearance of him is making you blush. Everything starts to feel real like never before. 
The back office door opens again and you see Mariella waltz out to the back. Chris appears in the doorway, making direct eye contact with you. Shit. Did she just tattle on you for being mean to her? Why does every interaction with her feel like high school all over again? 
Chris brings his hand up to wave you towards him, one finger inching in his direction. An audible sigh escapes your lips. Jake jostles to the bar and hops over the counter with incredible agility. 
“What the fuck?” You ask, completely perplexed at his insane amount of energy. 
He laughs, knowing how strange his action must have been. He walks past you, quickly uttering, “You make me feel like a whole new man baby.”
You would be inclined to jump onto him and mount him right there if you knew your boss wasn’t also staring you down from the other room. You try your best to acknowledge Jake, while still slipping away. 
“Oh good, you needed a new personality,” You joke, slipping out from the bar, “One sec, I’ll be right back.” 
“Screw you!” He sarcastically jeers from the POS system. 
You awkwardly jog over to the office door, letting yourself in. Chris is already back in his seat at his corner desk. He looks defeated, and well, really annoyed. His hand is sprawled across the right side of his face, holding his shaking head. You close the door behind you, trying to make him aware of your presence. 
“Sit,” he barks, pointing at the spare dining room seat opposite to him. 
You gingerly sit down on the cold wooden chair and try to sit up straight, holding yourself as professionally as you can. 
“What the fuck is going on?” His words cut the air. 
What situation is he even talking about?
“With?” You ask, surveying for him to give you more. 
Chris sighs and leans back into his chair, resting his clasped hands over his beer belly, “Listen, you’ve always been a fine employee. You show up, you do what you need to, and you leave. But I don’t deal with fucking drama. I don’t deal with he said she said, she’s dating him, he’s into her, bullshit. That’s why I put the rules in place.”
Ohhh what the fuck? What the hell is he even talking about? Mariella totally fucking tattled on you- to your boss of all people! 
You angle yourself forward, your face painted with confusion, “Okay, first off, I don’t know what to say to any of that, second of all, what rule?” 
“The no dating other employees rule.” The what? Chris continues, “Jake knew about it... I had a conversation with him about it. And yet we still have bullshit! And I really don’t fucking want bullshit.”
“Hold on, hold on,” You brace your hands out, trying to slow Chris, “Why am I just hearing of this rule now?”
Chris drops his hands, “I dont know. I just… I thought you were a lesbian.”
Your face drops and utter shock goes through your body. “Chris-”
“What? You were always hanging around Mariella and never had a boyfriend and only flirted with the ladies.” He throws his hands up trying to save this conversation he has so clearly lost. 
“Chris… Just because I’m not trying to suck face with the forty-year-old alcoholics out there, does not mean I’m a fucking lesbian.” You bury your face in your hands, completely over this entire interaction, “You have to tell all the employees the rules. Even if I was gay, what if I dated one of the other girls here?” 
“Listen… I don’t know why I didn’t tell you, okay? But bottom line, Jake knew.”
“Okay,” You trail off, “So…? Sounds like you’re getting at something else here Chris.”
Chris squares himself, leaning his hands into his thighs, “Well… Either you two,” he motions with hands a cut across his throat, “You know, end it. Or, one of you has to go. We’ve had struggles with this in the past. You both are great bartenders, but that can all change when you start getting into little spats and fighting in the bar.”
Little does he fucking know… 
“So, you want me to end my relationship, which I don’t even know if it is a real relationship or not-”
Chris moans, “God. I don’t care what it is-”
“Or you want me to quit?” The words feel sour and morose. 
Chris stands up, trying to get out of the unpleasant exchange. He walks over to rest his hand on your shoulder. A sad, looming expression dawns on him. 
“Doesn’t have to be you, kid.”
He goes to open the door, letting the light of the bar flood through the office. You can feel the tears forming in your eyes. A slight choke sits at the back of your throat. Everything that has to do with Jake and you always is a fucking disaster.
Why does everything have to be so hard? Why can’t you just have it easy? Why can’t Jake just be yours and you be his? What does everyone have against you two? Is this a bigger sign that maybe he just can’t be with you?...
“Chris,” You beg, “Can I just talk to him for a few minutes?”
He shakes his fist and tries his hardest to let go of any frustration, “Fine, but make it quick I hate that regular.”
And the same as he did with you, he waves Jake over to the office. Jake tilts his head like a sad puppy and quickly jogs out from behind the bartop. He strolls into the hallway, and Chris brushes past him to go take his place. 
The tears are still welling in your eyes and you can’t quite regulate your breathing. The frustration and anger you feel for Chris’ stupid policy is mixing with the dissatisfaction of Jake once again withholding information from you. 
“Sunshine?” He asks confused. 
You grab his hand and pry him into the office, closing the door behind him.
“Sit,” You plead. 
Now the roles were reversed. You try your best to compose yourself and consume all the sad emotions that were begging you to crawl out. 
Jake sits in the same chair as you did, “What?-”
“Jake.” Breathe. Don’t take it too far, “Did Chris inform you of a certain… No dating other employees rule?” 
He shifts awkwardly in the chair, obviously trying to avoid the interrogation, “Well, yeah, but-”
“Please… Please don’t say we’re not in one, because that will fucking kill me right now.” Your voice is breaking.
He sinks back into the chair. For the first time, he seems… hurt.
“I wasn’t going to-”
“Jake if you knew, why didn’t you tell me? Now I’ve got Chris telling me one of us has to quit or we… or we… you know…”
He runs his hand through his hair and turns to face you head-on. He reaches out for your hands, and you half haphazardly return them into his grasp. 
“I didn’t want you to not consider us an option. So I didn’t say anything.”
You take your hands back from him, quickly planting them on your hips, “So you think putting my job at risk is perfectly fine? All this behind my back shit is getting pretty old Jake, and we’ve barely even been at this a few weeks.” 
He drops his head, catching the crown of his hair in his fingertips, “What the hell did you want me to do?” 
You throw your hands in the air, fumbling to even find the right answer, “I don’t know Jake! But we could’ve tried to figure this out together before I was once again blindsided by something you hid from me! Because of your mistakes, Mariella came tattling to Chris-”
He lifts his head, staring you down. His eyes are sincere yet concerned. A look you’ve never seen from him, “She what?” 
“I told her to fuck off. I finally stood up for myself and she came in here to tattle.”
Jake closes his eyes and clenches his fists softly, “She’s not the kind you attack with words sunshine.”
You shake your head, not even believing that he’s telling you that you shouldn’t have stood up for yourself, “Jake that’s beside the fucking point. Because of you now I have to choose between walking away from my job or you.” 
“You’re not seriously going to choose are you?” 
“Doesn’t sound like I have a choice. I don’t want to. I want you, but I also need a fucking job. And right now you’ve pissed me off again.” 
“Again, what the fuck was I supposed to do? Do you wish I did nothing at all?”
“No,” You retort, quick to remind him you did want this. 
He rises to his feet, trying to establish some sort of control in the conversation, “Okay, so what then? You knew we were going to be all or nothing, or at least I did. I knew I had to have you, I didn’t think the rule was going to be held up.” 
“Jake.”
He rests his hands on your shoulders, “No, don’t fucking choose. What’s he going to do?”  
“Jake I’m pretty sure he’s going to fire one of us if we don’t pick. And we’re both on thin ice here so it will ultimately be whoever he likes more…” 
Jake shakes his head and drops his hands off of you, beginning to turn towards the door, “Can’t believe it. That you’re even considering it. After everything.” 
You grab his wrist, “After what Jake? After you finally decided you wanted to be with me? After I sat waiting months for you? After you fucked my friend? After you avoided this whole situation? After what?”
He snaps his wrist back to his side and reaches for the door handle. He shoots one last distraught glance back before heading back out into the hallway. 
It was about halfway through their set before Josh jumped off the stage to rush to you. He had been waiting for the right moment to run over to you all night. Shooting you happy glances, singing to you from the stage, and even ushering Jake over to the side you were sitting on so you could see him better. 
He waited until the worst possible moment to rush over to you, during one of Jake’s solos. 
He was worse than you when it came to pushing Jake. You could push him and get away with it, you knew it was all an act. But with Josh… He thought it was all a fun game, not realizing later that you would have to defend his actions like they were your own. 
Josh grabs your hand to lift you out of your seat, so eager to get you on your feet. The chair that you previously occupied clatters behind you. The crowd is completely distracted by Josh, and well, you. He swoops you close to him and soon your feet are moving along to the beat, jumping around with Josh in a flurry of happiness. 
Usually, you only had the enjoyment of watching live music, never participating in it. Here, you were now a part of this moment with them, and the one you wanted most to be happy for you, would clearly find this all too much. 
Josh grabs your hand and spins you around him, moving charismatically, so smoothly; quite romantically. If people were looking, they might think that Josh was the one you were with. Jake’s playing gets more technical with each moment, trying to win back the crowd’s attention, but everyone is watching his twin and you, swirling in a passionate dance on the bar floor. 
A smile is lit across your face; you’ve never had this much fun before, ever. There’s just enough whiskey in your system to completely evaporate any fear, or really notice the crowd cheering you on. You lower your hand across Josh’s waist, and he matches you, squeezing into your hip. You both circle each other, intoxicated in the glow of the moment. 
Jake’s solo slowly clamors to an end, and Josh realizes his cue to run back to the stage. He drops his hand from you and places a fragile kiss on your cheek before rushing back up to the mic. 
The crowd erupts in drunken cheers and you turn to notice the gathering they had made around the floor. They’re on their feet, clapping, enthusiastic about the thrilling moment. You awkwardly curtsey to the group and make your way back to your seat, picking it back up off the ground. 
The spirit of the moment quickly is burned when you look up and see Jake is not matching your excitement. A looming, angered glare is searing through any happiness you feel. He’s barely paying attention to the music, instead, steaming on the side of the stage. Gripping the guitar so tightly you fear it would break with any tighter hold. 
Shit. 
“Chris, can… I’m sorry can we just work this shift and figure it out tonight? I just want to do my job right now.”
Another classic Chris grunt and he waves you off, “Go. It’s gotta happen though. One of the choices.”
“Yes, yes I know,” You grovel, hoping that if you can’t come to a decision, he won’t be picking you to go. 
You rush back over to the bar and continue the chores you had left earlier. Of course, Chris didn’t bother picking up any slack, and neither did Jake. 
The thoughts are unraveling in your mind now. The control you had tried to exert is slowly withering away. Even though you had felt far more tough lately, you still couldn’t completely swallow the soft, emotional side of you. 
What the hell kind of choice is this? Lose your job or lose the boy you fought everything and everyone to have? Why does the universe fucking hate you?! 
Your body felt weighed, completely exhausted by all the drama and all the decisions. If you didn’t have responsibilities outside of this relationship, you would instantly pick Jake, but you can’t risk not having any income. You were a girl alone. No rich mommy or daddy to come to save you when you needed it most. You had given all of that up. No friends that could save you, they were miles away back home. You hate to admit it, but you were truly alone here. 
Sure, you had people, but no one that would be willing to take in a stray. Jake had his brother, he had more than you. It wasn’t fair to compare, but you were thinking it. 
He doesn’t seem to want to give you up either, at least that’s how it feels. He was heartbroken; defeated in that office. Just as sad as you. 
“Coming through-” Jake strides past you, holding onto three drinks, carefully balancing them in his hands, until he’s not. 
You turn to move, not realizing how close he was to you and knock your arm into his, sending the drinks flying over the front of your shirt. 
“Fuck!” You exclaim. 
Jake matches your sentiment, “Oh, shit.” 
You quickly run to grab a rag from the shelves behind the counter, trying to soak up the sticky liquid as fast as you can, before any stains set in. 
“Foul!” Yells one of the nasty regulars.
“Dude, shut up.” Jake retorts, rushing over to assist you, “I’m sorry, I should’ve-”
“It’s fine.” You don’t mean to be harsh, but in that moment all you could do was try to get him away. You didn’t want to think about him, about the situation, about any of it. You just wanted to get back to work. 
“This is Danny, and this is Sam,” Josh introduces the two other members of the band. 
You all gathered around the corner booth at the bar after the set. Jake had been avoiding you, taking his time to pack all of his things. The other boys were far less concerned with cleaning up, and headed straight to the bar, well straight to you. 
“Ohhh, so you’re the mysterious girl we’ve been hearing all about, huh?” Sam crosses his arms over his chest, surveying you, trying to be funny. 
“Oh yes, I’m very mysterious,” You joke back. 
Josh chuckles, “She isn’t one bit mysterious Sam, Jake is just always very vague with his lover’s darling. He doesn’t like to kiss and tell.”
You swallow back a large gulp of Jameson Ginger, “Oh yeah. I’m well aware.” 
Danny echoes into the conversation, trying to eagerly get in, “So how long have you two?...”
“Not long.”
“Oh,” Sam ponders, “I thought. Well, he’s been talking about a bartender for a-”
Josh shoots Sam a concerned look, trying to shut him up.
He knew? Did he know about Mariella? 
“Oh no, I’m not the only bartender,” Your comment is snide and condescending. You hope it’s not making a fool of yourself, but you want everyone to know the games Jake likes to play. 
You feel the alcohol finally hitting you now, maybe you didn’t realize it before, but standing with them for that short few moments was turning your mind into rubber. 
“Sam, c’mon. He’s your brother, you know how he is.” Danny whispers to Sam. 
Shit. Not another brother. 
“Was.” You correct, holding your finger out at Danny, “Let’s hope it’s was.” 
“Yes Mama,” Josh puts his hand on your shoulder, he turns to face the boys, “We like her, so we’re going to hope it’s ‘was’.”
“Where did he even go?” You ask, slurring your words slightly. 
Sam shrugs his shoulders, and is the first to sit in the booth, “I don’t know but I’m not waiting around for him to have any fun!”
“I like your thinking!” Josh exclaims, jumping in the booth beside Sam. 
Danny corrals on the other side of Sam, and Josh pats the empty seat next to him. Fuck. 
You cautiously slide into the booth next to Josh, trying to leave ample space between the two of you. 
The boys are like classic best friends. Danny and Sam seem to have a great bond, completely forgetting the fact that they aren’t blood brothers. They act like they’ve known each other their whole life. Their outfits are almost matching, both in patterned jeans and snug-fitting plain shirts. Their hair is just about the same length, except Danny’s is curly and wild, and Sam’s is sleek and flowing; similar to Jake's.
Josh is clearly the eccentric one of the group, sporting some sort of animal skin vest and low-rise dark wash jeans. He has on so much jewelry it jingles with each movement he makes. He’s practically wearing a tambourine with all the clangs. 
They all speak amongst themselves, raving about the set, the crowd, parts they think they nailed, and parts they want to work on more. It was a nice break for you to just enjoy being there with them, getting to know them just by watching. You were picking their brains without them even realizing that you were doing so. 
The two brothers fake-bickered with each other. Similar to how Josh and Jake would torment each other, but in a much more playful and innocent manner. You could see Jake in both of them, in different ways. Josh, well because they were twins, they shared eerily identical expressions. Josh just carried all of them in a more lighthearted way. Sam, on the other hand, you could see Jake’s sass within him. 
Just as you are finally ready to find a way to sneak into their fun, a presence joins you at the booth. You can feel the heat radiating off of him as he slides into the spot next to you, pushing everyone further down in the booth. His hand reaches over to your thigh, grasping it tightly, marking his territory. 
“Hi, Sunshine.” He grits through labored breaths. 
“Welcome!” Josh roars, “Glad to finally see you joining us!”
“Well, someone had to talk to the manager- who by the way, was very impressed by our performance. He wants us back next month.” Jake says these words as if they aren’t even exciting at all. 
“Oh! That’s awesome!” You cheer, looking around at all the boys. 
Their faces light up with victory, and they immediately start cheers-ing each other. 
Josh nudges your shoulder, “It was most definitely our dancing Mama! That energy got the whole crowd going! You’re our good luck charm.” 
You blush at Josh’s kind words, “Wherever you guys go, I’ll be there to cheer you on…” 
You drop your hand to the table, showing the boys you’re in this with them. They all take turns grabbing your arm and showing their appreciation. 
“Yeah, they really loved you.” Jake sneers. 
The sarcasm is lost on Sam, who pipes up, “Yeah they were all cheering for you guys! It was awesome, they stayed standing the rest of the set!”
Danny nudges Sam and whispers in his ear. Danny is like Sam’s conscious, warning him of all the sourness that is happening at the table. Sam awkwardly smiles. 
Jake pulls your drink from your loose grip and finishes the remainder of it. You shoot him a disgusted glance, furrowing your brow harder than you thought you possibly could. 
The boys all sit in silence, watching this awkward interaction.
Josh is quick to break the ice, like always, “So next time, maybe we can coordinate something? A little moment just for us?”
You turn to him, trying to warn him not to say that in front of Jake. But it’s too late for that. Jake grips your thigh, hard, nearly breaking through your jeans. 
“It’s not her band.” He snaps. 
“Yes Jake, I know it’s not my band,” You crack. 
“I liked your dancing!” Danny encourages, “You were really good!”
You grin back at Danny, thanking him with your expression. 
Josh jumps back into his own conversation, “Ok, but imagine, if we did that spinning thing again, but we lined it up with-” 
“Maybe you can take up one of your solos to dance with her.” Jake is being completely rude. You know the cause of it all. You know why he’s so ill-mannered. You try your best to forgive him but know there’s too much brash to go unnoticed by the others. 
“Josh, let’s think about this another time, okay? Let’s enjoy the victory of the night for now,” You turn to Jake, “Jake, we were just playing around okay?”
Jake rolls his eyes and leans back into the booth. He takes his hand from your thigh and rests both of his wrists on the table, fiddling with the callouses on his fingers. Josh nods his head and finally gets the point. 
Danny jumps up from the booth, excusing himself to go grab some more drinks. The table’s vibe has completely changed, instead of excited conversation, it’s mute. Sam is paying attention to the music playing over the speakers, tapping along to the beat. Josh is trying to get his drink down as fast as he can. And Jake… Is being Jake. 
His mood has been absolutely horrible. All because you chose to have fun. How rude of you.
“Hey,” You poke at him, “You don’t need to be like this right now. You have so much to celebrate!” 
“Oh yeah, let me celebrate that my girlfriend wants to be around everyone here but me.” He growls under a low breath. 
“Jake,” You comfort, “I came here for you, I’m excited for you.” 
“No.” Jake raises himself, and turns his head, angling towards you, “I do believe Josh, is the one that invited you. And if I’m not mistaken, you two were the ones dancing during my solo. Oh and also, it wasn’t you that came to see me after I finished up, it was the drunk old bar manager.” 
“Jake…” This time it isn’t you trying to calm him down, it’s Josh. He’s protecting you. 
“Fuck you Josh, you do this shit on purpose, trying to piss me off.” 
The tension is starting between the two, and you’re quite sure those heavy sips weren’t helping the situation at all. 
“Hey! Need I remind you, who was the one who-”
“Shut up.” 
You glance your head between the two of them, confused. Jake drops his head and turns away from Josh. Josh swirls the ice around in his cup, trying to avoid eye contact with you. 
“Josh…” You pry, “What did you do?” 
“Don’t,” Jake interjects, trying to hold off Josh. 
What the hell was going on? What sort of fucked up twin telepathy was happening. 
“No, no,” You scold, “Maybe I should ask what the fuck you did Jake? Huh?” 
Sam slowly tries to crawl out of the booth, avoiding whatever is about to go down. 
Josh crosses his arm, trying to yield to Jake, “He did nothing.” 
“Okay?” Your voice is shaky, trying to understand if this even involved you. This drunk version of you was trying any way to find out more. “Clearly someone did something.” 
Jake lifts his head, staring down Josh, almost pleading with his eyes to keep quiet. 
“Josh…”
You turn yourself to block Jake’s eyeline, lining yourself up with Josh. 
“Is it about me?” You ask, imploring. Hoping that his answer would be no. 
Josh sighs and drops his arms, bracing himself on either side of his legs. He takes a long breath. 
His silence confirms it all for you. 
Jake echoes in your ear, “Don’t worry about it.”
You scowl back to Jake, “No more hiding shit Jake.” 
He reaches his hand up to his mouth, trying to find the right words to say. Before he even has a chance, Josh lets it spill out. 
“Jake wasn’t going to go back to you.” 
He could have stabbed you in that moment and the feeling would have been the same. 
“Fuck! Josh!” Jake yelps. 
Your heart drops. Jake fighting him is proof enough that what Josh said was true. You turn to Jake, tears welling in your eyes. 
“What…” You push Jake’s shoulder, “the fuck,” another push, “does that mean?”
You feel your whole body shaking with anxiety. The alcohol is climbing up your throat; tears starting to fall from your eyes. 
Josh grabs your hand, trying to prevent you from hitting Jake any further. 
“Mama, listen. He just didn’t think you wanted him anymore. I went over to talk to him about it and told him he should try again.” 
You turn to snap at Josh but feel horrible even thinking about being mean to him. He was honest with you, trying to help. 
“So, but…” You feel absolutely defeated, “So if you hadn’t said anything he wouldn’t have…?”
Jake turns completely away from the two of you, dropping his head into his hands, trying to breathe through it. 
“You fucking ruin everything, Josh. You always get to be the sun. You always get to save the day.” 
You turn to Jake, cautious to defend Josh, “Jake you need to tell me what happened.” 
Jake doesn’t turn back to you. Josh tries to grab your hand one last time, silently asking you to go easy on Jake. 
“Why wouldn’t you come back?” Your voice is breaking completely now. The rush of emotions is piling through you, breaking your heart all over again. 
Knowing he didn’t want to come back felt like it was all your fault. You were the one who turned him away before knowing the entire story. But also, you had a right to be upset. The juxtaposition of it all was fucking with you. Who was right? 
Jake is still silent, holding himself up in his palms. You turn back to Josh, begging for any sort of help. His hands rest on his cheeks, realization setting in of what he did. He went too far. Twins weren’t meant to be this damaging to each other. The public tension of it all was awkward, pushing each other too far. 
“What’d I miss!” Danny perkily walks over to the table, holding everyone’s choice of drinks. Sam’s trying to hide behind him, knowing what situation he left. 
You pout through the tears, showing Danny that he didn’t miss anything too good. 
You rise from your seat, standing on the wooden bench, climbing over Josh to leave the booth. You pat the two best friends on the shoulder, apologizing through silent chokes of your tears. 
Sam gingerly hands you your next round, placing the glass in your hand, and patting your knuckles. You awkwardly smile back at him, thanking him for the drink. 
You take a hefty swig and place the remainder of the drink in front of Jake, “Here… Unlike you, I don’t like putting good things to waste.”
The boys all wince through their teeth, and Jake jolts up to scowl at the boys. 
You secretly run past the booth and into the dark bathroom in the back of the bar. 
The shift is by no means easy. The two of you are in the worst rhythm you’ve ever had. Even on your first shift together, it was like magic. You could almost sense each other coming, you were good at trading off tasks. Tonight…. Was not that. 
Jake screwed up three orders, and you took two more drinks to the chest. Each time exclaims were made between the both of you, and patrons took it upon themselves to call out. The understanding for your bodies that you had just hours earlier was completely gone, completely out of sync. 
Usually, it would just be you struggling with your own thoughts, but you could tell the weight of the situation was sitting heavy on Jake. You had left things in a horrible, but justified place. You didn’t exactly feel bad for what you said, because, well it was the truth. So what Jake had to give up a booty call? You were the one that got the shit end of the stick every time. 
The bathroom was full of women. They were all slightly older than you, and mostly concerned with their friends who were far too drunk, or paying attention to how their makeup was holding up. 
You snuck through them, trying to find the one empty stall. You closed the door behind you and quickly locked it, stowing yourself away. The echoes of their voices melted with the loud music vibrating on the walls. 
Fuck.
What the hell? 
He couldn’t even look at you. 
He couldn’t even admit it. 
Why wouldn’t he come back? 
Well… You did kind of end that last night on bad terms. During that entire week, you wanted to run back to him; but you didn’t. He just needed a push. But what if he never got that push? What if he never showed up to tell you what actually happened… 
He never even tried to explain himself at the bar. He just kept trying to get you going. He can’t admit when he’s wrong. Does he have to be persuaded into being nice? Not entirely. Not all the time… 
Chris is about ready to lock up. He does his usual survey of all the surfaces, walking laps around each table, around the counters, really just pretending to look at everything. There really weren’t any expectations for the cleanliness of each table. He was actually just waiting for one of us to say something to him. For one of us to have decided. 
It was the stupidest fucking rule known to man. It’s a bar. People are bound to start fucking each other. Thats life. 
Jake and you had not broached the subject any further. There was no time and no further discussion to be had yet. It was the worst decision for either of you to make. It was utterly ridiculous. You didn’t expect Jake to give up his job either and almost started to believe that this was some sort of ending.
You tried not to think about it too much. Tried not to let that reality set in until you knew it for a fact. 
One last swipe of the counter, and you had completely cleaned up. Jake on the other hand was sweeping the floors, trying not to clean up in the same area. You try your hardest not to keep staring at him, but you want so badly for him to look at you. You want to figure this out… together. 
He places the large broom at the corner of the bar and strides over to Chris. You’re watching it play out in front of your eyes like a movie. You pretend to be distracted at the POS, but sneaking glances over your shoulder. 
Chris runs his hand over Jake’s shoulder and gives him a firm shake. Jake drops his head and nods. Reaching up to pat Chris’ hand. And just like that it’s over. 
What… What happened? 
Jake strides out of the bar, avoiding your eye contact, and slowly disappearing into the hallway. 
Oh, what the fuck? 
This is it. This is the end. Jake is giving you up. This wouldn’t be a romance novel. He wouldn’t run to you and lift you up, he wasn’t going to kiss you like no one was watching. He was just going to walk away, again. 
You throw your hands up, staring down Chris, trying to emulate ‘what the fuck’ with your body language. 
Chris mopes over to the counter, dragging out the moment as long as possible. He plops himself down on the stool in front of you, clasping his hands on the bar. 
“Go home. See you on Monday this week, kid.” 
So wait… He just… 
“Wait… What the fuck just happened?” You’re completely flustered, almost not believing what this means. 
“Jake quit. Go home. Talk to him.” 
TAGLIST (ILY GUYS!!!) Sorry if I missed anyone!
@gvfmarge @takenbythemadness @heckingfrick @gvfpal @sanguinebats @giraffehippy @anythingforjtk @lipstickitty @pinkandsleepy1934 @gretavansara @ohgodthefeeling-gvf @jakekiszkasbuttsweat @milkgemini @violet-hayes
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justporo · 7 months
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A Night of Song and Laughter (Part 16)
In which Astarion and Tav do enjoy each other's company very closely indeed but Tav has the upper hand for once and lives out the moment to its full potential.
The middle of the day is a fine time to just drop a dirty little chapter full of smut, don't you think? (At least here it's the middle of the day, good timezones to you)
This felt actually a lot more naughty and intimate than the first real smut chapter in this - at least while writing. But I'll let you be the judge of that...
Two songs for this: Kiss Me You Animal - Burn the Ballroom and Shirt - SZA
Rating: Explicit Pairing: Astarion/Fem!Tav (You) Warnings: Explicit content
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You were riding Astarion languidly in your ginormous bed, chasing the third high of the night. You had taken him up on his words to make you think about other things and other things just happened to be straddling him and slowly driving him into madness. Another sudden change in mood that was by now probably fueled by more than just a tinge of hysteria from the seemingly unending night.
When you had expressed to him that you were inclined to go for yet another round after you had laid down on your bed with your towels still covering you up, his lips had curled into the most lewd and seductive smile: “I see, you might be taking on yet another one of my qualities accordingly: an insatiable need to devour you over and over. Your wish be my command, my love!” You had been immediately charmed by his words and his admission about his carnal and desperate needs for you, but you still had grabbed his hands which had immediately started to eagerly wander again. A thought had crossed your mind that you needed to voice: “I… Astarion… When you say stuff like that last part… I – just want to make sure that you know that I would never want you to do this were it not what you wanted as well. I mean, even if you wanted to turn your back on sex altogether because you’re done with it, that would be fine for me too, because being with you and loving you is the most important part and…” Astarion put a finger on your lips to softly silence you: “Love, you are rambling again.” He dragged you onto his body, so he was on his back and you were laying on your stomach on top of him – your towel holding on for dear life.
“Since you are worried about me, which, really, I cannot express how much I appreciate, my heart - ”, Astarion continued and let his hand drag through your hair, almost making you purr in approval “- I will have you know, that I am never getting on my back again if I do not deliberately choose to do so. And,” – he grabbed your fingers that had begun to tap an idle tune on his chest and kissed them “as far as I am concerned my hunger for you might be greater than you might yet realize.” The looks he threw you went from playful lust to sincere love in a heartbeat. “I’ve never had something like this, it might be almost as new to me as it might be to you. But” – his gaze turned hungry again – “if I were to unleash the full vastness of my needs and feelings for you, I fear I might actually break you or scare you off for good.” The sparkle in his eyes saying that let delicious shivers run down your spine – others might’ve been scared by a confession like this but considering the range of thoughts and emotions about this man that kept consuming your every waking thought… you’d probably just made the perfect pair.
You smirked at him and simply hummed contentedly now reassured that you were on the same page. “Now”, Astarion said raising his voice and giving you a light slap on your butt “be a good girl and sit on my lap!” You happily obeyed and basked in the admiring looks he threw you, when you sat up and slowly unraveled your towel to reveal your naked form beneath it.
Then you went to take his towel off from around his hips and immediately discovered that he must’ve enjoyed the view so far and was more than prepared for you to fulfill your needs.
So, there you were: sitting on his lap, grinding against him, his dick hitting deep inside you every time you lifted up your hips, simply to let them slam down again, while he kept desperately moaning and cheering you on with praise. He had his legs propped up to help you aid to get the most traction out of every single roll of your hips that he was holding onto, his thumbs lazily rubbing circles on your pelvic bones. The silk sheets were messily bunched up all around you and a sheen of sweat made your skin glisten in the light of the oil lamps on your nightstands.
You were ecstatic. His words of admiration and naughty praise in a deep and husky voice, while he was interrupted by his own moans and his voice kept breaking while worshipping you, turned you positively feral and made you feel powerful. Just knowing what power you held over this ethereal man that must’ve seen almost everything already but still seemed to lose his mind at you gleefully crying out his name. It took you to newly known heights; you’d never felt this good in your life.
You slowly picked up the pace and started moaning louder while you lifted your arms over your head and dragged your hair up while throwing your head back and arching your spine – very well aware that it would draw Astarion’s attention to your chest. “Gods, your breasts look amazing when you’re moving like that, love”, Astarion wasted no time to say and silently gasp in admiration.
You smiled mischievously at him, still toying with your hair and moved harder to give him more of the desired movement. “Gods”, he moaned and arched his head back with a hiss from the sensation of you coming down hard around him and enjoying the view of your jigging boobs that felt deliciously heavy with lust.
While the attention was on them you let your hair fall down again and moved your hands to squeeze your breasts, making yourself moan with the sensation and sending electric jolts down between your legs when you started to twist one of your hardened peaks.
Astarion lifted one of his hands and gave you a slap on your behind which made you gasp and clench your core which then made him gasp in return and arch his back. He looked almost completely out of it by now, his tone almost pleading, when he said: “You’re a goddess.” "Then keep worshipping me!"
You kept squeezing your breasts with one hand while you let your other hand wander down your body, over your stomach, then deeper, over your clit, but only remaining there shortly before letting it wander onto Astarion’s body. You noticed the markings on your arm glowing and pulsating slightly but kept focusing on the vampire’s prone body beneath you.
You hungrily drank in the shapes, lines and angles of his body. The muscles of his abdomen tensed under your gentle caress. You took him and his body in while you lazily kept rolling your hips to ride him: his well-toned upper body, his arms just as muscular, holding you firmly, those sinful long and elegant fingers on your hips and most of all: his beautiful face with its sharp red eyes that watched you eagerly and hungrily.
Astarion bucked his hips, making you gasp as much from the sudden movement as from the delicious friction it created. Seemingly you had gotten too lost in his features and slowed down too much for his liking, so he had opted to show you who was actually in charge. “Come, love, giddyup.” Excuse him? You clenched your core and earned a desperate moan from Astarion in response – just as you thought.
“Touch yourself for me, darling”, he demanded sinfully with a deep tone. You clenched around him again, ripping yet another groan from his lips. But you still obeyed and picked up the pace again, letting your hand wander from his body to yours again and this time remaining on your clit, starting to add to your own pleasure while you kept working your boobs with the other hand.
Things started to really move quickly from there on out. You could feel your orgasm coming up on the horizon being fully aware that after two very successful rounds already this one would really bring down the house around you. Astarion felt it too, his body almost painfully tensed and his hands on your hips motivating you to go more aggressively.
“Harder, my love, come on, destroy me”, he requested pleadingly but with just the right amount of authority in his voice that you couldn’t resist.
You rode him harder while his fingers pressed pleasantly painfully into your hips. There was no more space for chit-chat, only for heavy breathing and moaning and the sound of your two bodies coming together again and again. You held his gaze while you kept touching yourself and could see that he was trying desperately to hold on and not get lost before you did.
But you wouldn’t give him this pleasure this time. You moved yet harder and faster, arching your back and clenching around his hardness inside you while you could feel yourself starting to get lost.
But Astarion went over the edge first, his eyes rolling back into his skull while he moaned helplessly with opened lips that bared his fangs. Your own orgasm had you closing your eyes and throwing your head back while searing hot white light exploded inside you and made you cry out Astarion’s name again - loudly.
You rode out the waves and kept moving your hips lazily until you heard the vampire wince slightly. “Love… Please, stop?”, he said and coughed suspiciously. But you weren’t over enjoying having the upper hand for once. You rolled your hips again and giggled. Astarion winced again and made to lift you off of him, but you quickly did it yourself and moved out of his reach.
“Come back here, you disobedient woman”, Astarion shouted after you teasingly angry with furrowed brows, but you were already out the door.
You quickly walked downstairs – butt naked of course – and grabbed another bottle of wine from the kitchen and two goblets to drink it from.
When you returned to the bedroom, Astarion was still laying there in the middle of the bed where you had left him. He had one arm over his face, his breath still a tad faster than normal. You stood in the doorframe for a moment just taking in the gloriousness of this moment and this man. Then you tiptoed back in while casually offering: “You wanted me to destroy you.”
Astarion lifted his arm and only opened one eye to look at you: “Oh, consider me thoroughly destroyed, my love, a job well done.” You smirked at him, then put down the bottle and goblets on the nightstand next to your side of the bed. Astarion sat up again and leaned back on his hands watching you.
“What I did not want was you being such an insolent little thing in this precious moment of my weakness”, he spoke slowly and the grabbed you quickly from where you were just relaxedly standing next to the bed. He hauled you over it and made you kneel on the bed while on all fours and positioned himself over and behind you. He leaned on his one hand placing it next to yours and let his other wander slowly from your breasts, down your stomach in which lust already started to coil again, to the sensitive spot between your legs and finally down your thigh, causing you to shiver.
Astarion leaned over to one of your pointy ears and silently whispered: “And I’ll make you answer for your crimes, my pet.”
Tags: @daedriclys @angelofthorr @starved-kitten
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sorcerous-caress · 2 months
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Worldbuilding and human kink? Is it my birthday /lh. This has me googling “halfling sex” and being a little surprise someone has thought about it enough to write a generously large paragraph.
Apparently it’s not uncommon for them to have more casual sex with close neighbors and friends indulging in it together. I genuinely think it would be hilarious for a halfling with a human, elf, drow, orc, dwarf, etc (the more uptight races) friend/neighbor to ‘seduce’ and then being very friendly and kind, but not exclusive or even inherently romantic.
Halflings 🤝 Humans
Being horny on main.
Oh my god imagine a poly relationship that's a human who thinks this is a casual friends with benfits deal, a halfing who thinks everyone here is just friends, and one high elf who acts as if they're robbing a bank whenever they watch the human go down on the halfing.
Add a dragonborn who is sweating over which one of those people is gonna end up as their mate for life, who isn't phased by the sex but it's the romance part that's considered a big taboo in their culture to even date someone for love, so imagine seeing more tha one person?
High elves being sex repressed 🤝 Dragonborns being romance repressed
Also I really love world building AAAAA i wanna invent shit and make shit up and shake it around like a snow globe. I believe elves went to the moon much sooner than humans with just magic, dwarves have found fallen space rocks and meteors and used them to forge their weapons, winged elves or any species who can fly already mapped the world and drew all the know maps before humans even learned how to tame horses.
Also the horses is funny, elves has seen them all their lives but never bothered to tame it because it feels weird yk? Why would they ride on an animal, plus their cousin is a centaur so it feels even more weird.
Then they see the humans coaxing the horses with carrots while holding a saddle behind their back, skip a few years and suddenly the horse population skyrockects as humans steal this one animal to their side.
Imagine being a wood elf and in harmony with all of nature, then glancing over at the human city and feeling very confused on what these weird wolves are and why do the humans call them dogs, also why are they obeying the humans and holy shit that one is wearing bowtie.
Occasionally humans just wander into the forest, spot an animal that seems semi useful then kidnap it back to their city, suddenly their population spikes and they're the new best friends of humanity.
It happened the other way with cats tho, the wood elves remember overhearing two cats talking about the hairless apes wandering around and how one was betting the other that they can get them to share their food by just screaming at them.
Humans probably inspired their cuisine based on halflings' recipes since they didn't add soul consuming spices for fun like elves and didn't sprinkle in literal gem and gold dust like dragonborns.
A human with a Halfling neighbour who comes over every other day to share their stew because "they accidentally made too much and can't possibly finish it all themselves so how about you grab a bowl or two, human?"
One day the human makes a joke about how they're a simp or going to horny jail, whatever modern shitposting meme is trending, and the halfling takes it seriously and offers to sleep with them.
I mean, that is basic neighbourly hospitality to them. Of course they will fuck their friend who is in need, you don't even have to ask twice, come here and lay down and they'll take care of you until satisfied.
Now their trips over to your house are twice as frequent, half to feed you their cooking, other half to sate your lust appetite.
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sporadic-doodles · 13 days
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Starfolk Lore!
(I'm stealing this term, if you don't mind >:D)
Anyways, Worldless lore! Because lore is my favorite part of every game.
From what we know, there are two main natures -- blue and orange -- that are constantly at war with each other. Once one wins over the other, the victor absorbs the loser, taking their energy and shifting both of their forms. They then swap natures, and the victor goes on their way while the loser bums around, probably out of exhaustion or smth. Blue starfolk tend to have either lightning or ice natures, while orange starfolk favor wind and fire (because colors~)
However, rarely, the absorption results in a sort of merge where the combatants fuse to become a single green starfolk. This is where Adaptation, Duality, and Yin-Yang come from, and you can see it happen in the Eastern area of the map. If I remember correctly, it's a crescent and ariman(?) that forms Quimera.
These merged starfolk gain an incredible amount of power, as the most powerful enemies in the game (*cough* Summum *cough*) and can be assumed to be a sort of ascendance, as they no longer obey either of their original natures. Also, from the character designs, it appears that the more green a starfolk has, the more powerful and "near-perfect" they are, hence the extreme difficulty of Summum's fight. The sole exception to this appears to be Edda and Aven.
While yes, Duality has two individual, fully-functioning parts that each have at least some independent thought, Edda and Aven are two completely separate beings. They are physically separated, even though you never see them next to each other unless it's in cutscenes or in special moves, unlike Duality who clearly merges to perform their giant star attacks. Part of that is logicked away to the functionality of gameplay controls, but still. There is no evidence of their merge until they touch, in which green light covers the screen, or the giant sword from Unified Division appears. We are clearly told that whatever they have going on is special in a way that has caught the eye of what is closest to a god in their universe (which is a whole other can of worms that I'll write about later). Either way, they're much stronger than the traditional green starfolk, as seen by the fact that people can beat Summum in 4 minutes *Gestures at speedrun video*.
Now, I also want to touch on whatever the heck is up with Edda and Aven's absorption. We can see in the background -- within 3 minutes of starting the game -- that whenever a starfolk is absorbed, they swap natures and are distorted beyond recognition. However, whenever Edda (and later Aven) does the same, they remain perfectly untouched while the enemy is completely obliterated. I, personally, think this is an ability granted to them following Aved's failed absorption of Edda at the start, where the two are something like a "ever-strengthening" or "consuming" being like how Adaptation is the "ever-changing" and Yin-Yang is the "stable yet unstable" being. Their initial merge is also probably why their own kinds attack them, which took me embarrassingly long to realize.
That's all I can really think of at the moment, but I might write more later.
Please let me know if I messed up or need to add stuff! I'm writing this all from memory!
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sagau-my-beloved · 1 year
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Gotcha! Sorry about your inbox, you’re just really fun to talk to! Glad you like brainrots, though, because I’ve got it bad. (Sorry these are a bit long)
So you know the corrupted!Venti au? Where he’s been corrupted by the abyss order like Dvalin with all of the magenta color symbolism and whatnot? Big fan of that however the whole abyss corruption thing is just a little overplayed. I like to think that he was corrupted by the creator. Maybe like how you were talking about with people getting influenced by the creator’s emotions. Venti becomes consumed by the need to please his god, infected by their influence, their will. And it’s not like Dvalin in the sense that his autonomy was taken from against his will. No, Venti wants this, needs it. It clashes with his principles of freedom, but he needs to belong to the creator so bad it breaks him. And now there are no more principles, no ethics, no morals, there is only the creator and their will. He is no longer an individual, he belongs to the creator, he is but a vessel, an extension of their will. He does not answer to the wind, to freedom, his people, or to Celestia. He only answers to the creator. Maybe true freedom is being released from the burden of free will, his now twisted mind thinks. Maybe true freedom is never having the capacity for choice. For these thoughts he gets praised by the creator, just as he gets praised every time he’s obedient, further cementing the corruption in his mind.
Idk do you ever just love a character so much you just wanna *clenches fist* break them?
And also I like the idea of sagau with a corrupt creator. I mean, put in the position as supreme authority with nations and literal gods at your beck and call would get to anyone’s head eventually. Sadistic, controlling, narcissistic creator is what you’d get out of that. But how would Venti factor into this? Would he submit to his role, choosing to continue in service and worship of his god? After all, who is he to question them? If anyone has a problem with the way creator rules Teyvat Venti would end them without hesitation if only his god wills it. He is loved by them as long as he obeys, and as long as he is loved nothing else matters. Or maybe he sees this as the creator being in trouble? He needs to save them like he saved Dvalin from the abyss order. His disobedience will not go over well with his god, but he doesn’t care what they do to him. As long as he gets through to them, as long as he can bring his beloved back and they no longer have to suffer under the grip of those sadistic thoughts, nothing else matters. Or he might see saving as a lost cause? The creator is too far gone, their twisted nature is not some foreign curse, it’s a part of them now. The one he knew before is gone. The only thing he can do now is let them go. Creator may have changed, but for the person they once were, they don’t deserve to have to live like this, wrapped in these miserable thoughts for the rest of time. The best thing Venti can do now is put them out of their misery. He’ll never forgive himself, and he’ll never recover from the toll such an action had taken on him, but as long as his god is at peace now nothing else matters.
I find all the scenarios interesting (and all with good potential for angst 😈) I think my money’s on the first one, but I’d like a second opinion.
-🫧
No need to apologize it’s not like I really consider it a bad thing, I love interaction I just wish I had the ability to keep up with it—
I've seen artwork of that, but this actually inspired me to go look further into it, and it's actually a pretty cool concept ngl— but that could just be my obsession with corruption speaking
Corruption in the form of obsession is simply top tier, especially when it's a slow acting thing
It always starts subtle, Venti feeling less and less life-like whenever he's away from you, how his body feels almost as if it wasn't really his own. All the things he used to love so dearly, the places he would visit without a care towards where he was supposed to be, where he was wanted by others... That was freedom to him, and he thrived on it. But it all started to feel so dull when you weren't there with him, when he didn't have you to look to for guidance. All the minor actions he reveled in lost their meaning. The wine now tasted bland when you weren't also indulging in it, apples completely lost their flavor, almost as if they were nothing more than wet sand when not given to him by your hand, and even the most heartfelt music did little to elicit any sort of emotional response when it didn't come directly from you. The wind was still soft against his skin, gentle and obedient as it always had been, but now it only seemed to blow towards you, as if enticing him to follow it back to where his body and mind truly belonged.
That was how it started, and it only grew the longer he stayed away.
It was now as if he couldn't keep focus, mind jumping from one thing to the next, failing to grasp on to thoughts he had moments prior. It was all too much and too little at once. Faceless people that attempted to speak to him sounded little more than a collection of jumbled sounds. He knew those syllables, the individual letters rang out clearly in a way that should have formed something comprehensible, yet it took his mind minutes to string them together. You were the exception of course, you were always the exception. Your words cut through the deepest fog, easily slicing through the howling winds into the most intimate parts of him. It was simply blissful to hear you speak, your voice was everything after all, he longed for the clarity it brought.
The next to morph itself was his sense of touch, now he couldn't feel the wind at all. The grass beneath his feet, the feeling of rain on his skin, it was all numb and muted, as if his body really was only a vessel that housed something that simply couldn't interact with the world around him. At that point even touching other people hurt, a buzzing of electricity, an indescribable feeling of wrongness that came along every time someone even rested a hand on his shoulder. He could only let out a pained smile as his body screamed for him to distance himself when giving a simple handshake. And what did it matter anyway? It's not as if he cared about any of them. Your touch still felt divine, an indescribable wave of pleasure at how your fingertips brushed against his, that easily made up for all of it. The rain and wind mattered little when he felt so complete being the recipient of your kiss.
He didn't leave your side anymore, there simply wasn't any point. Your voice was all he needed, he could have survived on your touch alone.
Concepts mattered little to him now as well, choice and freedom meant nothing, not as you cooed over how cute he was being, refusing to take his eyes off you for even a second. Everything was always kind of blurry when he looked anywhere else anyway, so it was rare to see his big eyes gazing anywhere but up at you with nothing but complete devotion.
And oh he loved how you praised him, how you seemed so pleased as he mumbled prayers in your name, prayers that may have included some rather concerning things to other people— but what did other people matter? If you liked hearing him talk about how he was nothing more than an extension of you, how he had no other meaning outside of your wants, how his body and mind and soul were yours to break if it so pleased you... then he'd repeat it as frequently as you'd allow.
Venti was lost without your attention, less than alive if you didn't acknowledge him. You alone were the source of any and all pleasant feelings, to be without you was no different than simply not existing. Anything that kept you from him would be delt with swiftly and without regret, it's not as if he could differentiate people from monsters from any other form of life anymore, it was all the same and it was all worthless. If someone making pleasant conversation was the reason for your hand leaving his skin, sapping the warmth from his body, then that unidentifiable thing should simply be eliminated. If your face ever fell in someone's presence, if Venti ever felt even the most minuscule of negative emotions come from you, then the one who caused them would be indiscriminately flung into the nearest ocean by his hand and the power you so graciously allowed him to keep.
He never wasted his words on others now, any sound that left his mouth was forever and always directed at you, for your ears alone. Only you get to indulge in his singing and the poetry he speaks in your name, his words are now a prayer made for no other.
Even his name starts to lose meaning, he isn't Barbatos the Anemo Archon, that title and the status it represents brings only confusion. He's your Venti, your most beloved, your devoted worshipper, your perfect and obedient pet who lives for the sole purpose of pleasing you in every way you'll allow.
You have a God so dependent on you that he wouldn't so much as breath if you didn't give him direct permission, the air in his lungs was yours after all, you were simply mercifully letting him borrow it.
Oh how this cute Archon would reduce the world, himself included, into a most divine nothingness for your hand alone to morph. You were eternal and you were holy and he was yours.
Anyway moving on, I don't think it's possible to have corrupt Venti without corrupt creator, I mean there's no way you can be an upstanding pillar of morals with that happening to him over there
But I think with the corrupt creator concept the most realistic option that would happen would be the second one, where Venti feels it's his responsibility to save you from whatever’s 'possessing' you, and I feel like that could end in two possible ways
The first and boring option is he successfully gets through to you, y'all go live a happy life together maybe outside of the spotlight, the end roll credits
The other way is, well, he basically starts getting corrupted himself, and we have the first situation all over again
But I don't think, no matter what, he would ever resort to the third option, he would continue to try to get through to you until he no longer can cause of getting corrupted himself
Now I think a really good angst option that incorporates a bit of that concept along with the third option that I feel he would never resort to, would be one of his means of trying to get through to you causes some sort of unexpected reaction that ends up fatally wounding/killing you, now that would be fun to expand on because 99℅ of him would be completely horrified, like I cannot express the level of horrified I'm talking about, but there's that small portion that would sort of be grateful over the fact that they are probably now in peace, and then he resents himself for feeling that at all
Angst and corruption man 😎✌
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writing-and-rebloging · 10 months
Note
Who is your favourite so far in what in hell is bad?
And Opinions and thoughts on the four Kings?
Uh... Hi! And thanks for asking! (did you ask every blog that posts about WHB? It's fun seeing the difference in opinions, tbh) anyway! This isn't going to be short, but I hope it's fun!
Let's see... Out of the Ars' it's probably Eligos, easily. I mean, look at him, he's cute, clingy, wants to be loved, easy to bully. An all around pretty boy. What else can I ask? That he also likes being roughed up? Sitri, Leraye and Bael come as close seconds too
As for the kings... Let's start with Satan!
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Fluffy. Hair. I just love how it makes him looks like a lamb. And I completely agree with what someone said about the contrast between the suits of the nobles and his funky track suit, and the fact that he looks like the most approachable of the kings. He seems to be a more relaxed, easygoing one considering the "drinks with lesser demons" and the few snaps of him and Sitri. I think we will see four distinct sides of him: the respectable, dutiful king; the easygoing dude you can have a tea beer with; the scary, threatening demon who will remind us not to get too cozy and finally, the most intimate, "dude is Depressed" side, the part of him that lashes out to prevent tears, the part of him that can't quite gather the strength to get out of bed, the one that will gather a collective "I can fix him" reaction.
He's capable of blood manipulation, too, which is a very interesting, creativity oriented power and fits his overall theme to a T. AND, he is canonically a switch (likes both giving and receiving spankings)! His bath card, too. He looks really pretty and delicate in that one.
All in all, I love his design, and I think I'm going to like him a lot once the game is published.
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Mammon! Now, I have a few gripes about him. Starting from Obey Me!Mammon, who kinda fits on every other thing I absolutely love to see, minus the financial irresponsibility. So the bar is kinda high, because I keep comparing how much I like OM!Mamms. There's also the fact that Mammon is huge. It's an artist choice, yes, we see that with how narrow Satan's shoulders are in his cards, and the fact that Leviathan should have a more princely figure instead of really really broad shoulders. It makes sense, with Mammon, because he is pure muscle, but it's just not my type in general, and he is specially broad, as seen on his cards, past the point of the usual buff characters I like. So yeah, high expectations + too much muscle is a rough start. And then there's the feet, but I'm pretending I do not see, because that seem like something that will show up a lot.
On a more positive note, I like how they went a different route with him. He's not consumed by the need to have it all, because everything already belongs to him, and he is "generous" and "benevolent" instead, "letting" people have this and that. He could come across as a douchy, entitled ass instead of a dorky, soft idiot, so that's to be seen. Hopefully it's the second 9/10 times. He sounds like a ruthless fighter, too. Not my fav, but I don't hate him either. 7/10 ig? His tits are massive tough, and I love that. Hope he's as dumb as his tits are big.
Oh! I like his design, too. The way he creates gold from his own body, how regal his clothes look, the claws and rings, the gold and black, broken horn, really pretty! And gives a little variety. You can appreciate the twinks better with a massive dude like him around. The mirror selfie is so far my favorite card of his so far.
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Levi time! He's pretty. Really pretty. He looks like a prince, and I dare say he likes degradation. Once again, the Obey Me thoughts stike, but they feel vastly different as well. He's not a shut in otaku, but he is canonically agoraphobic (afraid of open/crowded spaces), and likes shutting himself in his coffin. He has a coffin, too! He sleeps on a coffin! And he likes getting choked of all things! Which, someone pointed out in the whb tags, is actually a risky practice, but it fits him perfectly.
I like Leviathan, probably my favorite king of the four, but I do have to say that his horns remind me of a deer more than a coral reef, and his overall look doesn't help with that. Still, the suits, the dignified demeanor, his gloves... I like the style, and I want to ruin him because of it, which fits with the overall vibe we get of him so far. He wants that. Craves it, even. And I know there's a lot of self hatred (and love, in a twisted way, which someone else kindly pointed out) there to play with. The fact that he has a harem, and probably indulges in it to some degree or the other is fantastic too. And I love me a summoner.
The free (play store) pre register bathroom card is definitely my favorite of his, but the selfie one is also beautiful. I'd say his are the prettiest cards so far, but I'm biased. Hope he has some snake things going on, since the Leviathan was a biblical sea snake/dragon/creature, and envy is often represented by the snake as well. Wouldn't complain if we can call him a doe though.
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Last but not least... Beelzebub.
His purple gems things on his pants need to go. Asap. It's just... No. The shoes are not my cup of tea either, and the pants could use a tear or two on the other leg to balance things out. The rest of Beel is actually really pretty. I like the whole tattoo and piercing thing he seems to have going on, and his horn is a favorite of mine. I love how it's implied that his food is Not Edible by anyone but him, too. It's fun that he's probably a terrible cook, considering the main outlet for gluttony is food.
He is described as "lovely", although he looks more like a little shit (positive) and I can't picture him as someone kind, yet, but definitely someone fun in one way or the other. He seems to be craving the happy chems that traveling give him, and in a loop of tossing things at his brain until one sticks for long enough to stop the Shitty Feeling. He is also the embodiment of gluttony, so it's likely that he never gets enough of it, too, and that he just wants more and more. Seeing different places, meeting new people, trying different things, doing new things, even when everything moves at a neck-break pace that he can't keep up anymore until he burns out, and then rinse and repeat. He and Satan probably struggle with their own heads a lot, too. I don't quite like his fetish, though (ironic, given that Bael has the same and he is in the top 5).
He's... Not my favorite, really, and it probably shows. But he's not terrible, and I appreciate him a little bit more after this. My favorite card of his is probably going to be the one where he has to get a shot. He looks pretty when he cries.
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depressnt · 4 months
Text
Watched Hilda season 3 and Hilda And The Mountain King and I have thoughts for an au that includes the magic of The Incident(s) combining into one thing and affecting Hilda VERY greatly, I'm gonna copy-paste these texts from my convo with my partner (keep in mind, this isn't the first time I watch this movie)
I kinda wanna see troll! Hilda with her normal human mum, just trying to figure things out.
I wanna see Johanna struggling with Hilda who is so obviously *scared* and I wanna see Hilda break something by accident and just *freeze* and I want Johanna to deal with Hilda treating everything like glass and how obviously distressed the bells make Hilda
I wanna see Johanna try to hug Hilda and I wanna see Hilda hesitate and I want it to break Johanna to see what's happened to her daughter
I wanna see Hilda struggling with awakened Fae instincts due to the magics being connected and I want Johanna to see the difference after Hilda turns back and I wanna see Johanna doubt her daughter and then feel guilty for doubting Hilda who flinches at bells, goes in a trance like state when someone tells her their name, Hilda who can no longer say no to anything because everyone knows her name
Maybe i've consumed too much Danny Phantom content, when I see a non-angsty fandom simply existing, I think of all this 😭
Ok but i REALLY wanna see Johanna tell Hilda to do/not to something and Hilda visibly tries to not obey but is trembling and then locks up and kind of mechanically does it and it just makes everyone distressed
Omg I'm at the scene where Hilda is starting to experience the pain every troll experiences when they hear the bells
She's so scared, poor child :(however. I wanna focus on the part where she says "these things are gonna kill me" and I wanna amplify it, I want her to be SO scared of death. She's in a new body seemingly so invulnerable compared to her human one and I want THIS to be the moment she's sure she will die
I want her to get an intense ptsd flashback when she hears bells as a human. I want them to be just a bit louder to her than to anyone else. I want her ears to be left ringing everything she hears so much as a tink on glass.
I want her to yearn for her life as a troll occasionally because now that she's human again she's bound by so many things and the people around her are telling her to do things and her true name isn't pronounceable to trolls, they can't tell her to do things, she can feel in control of her body in ways she never could as a human
I wanna see Hilda breaking down and yelling for the call of the troll mother because it gave her a sense of connection to the land that she's always had, and still has after becoming human again, but that is amplified as a troll. Then I want her to break down bc the best mother she could ask for is already right there >:]
I want to see a visceral breakdown as Johanna takes care of a daughter who isn't hers (which is canonically happening as I type this, but it's filtered through a children's tv show lens and I wanna see the real thing)
The best thing throughout this whole idea is the (made up) language barrier and the fact that hilda stones-over in daylight
Hilda hiding under the bed from the sun and Johanna coaxing her out, only for Hilda to stone over once she's in the light and Johanna crying bc it's visibly painful for Hilda 🤭
Watching Johanna bang on a wall where a bunch of trolls dissappeared yelling "give her back to me!" At the specific troll who took her daughter is great, therapeutic, I love it. 11/10
OMG FRIDA AND DAVID, I HAVEN'T EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT THEM
OMG HILDA AND JOHANNA REUNITE BUT THEN JOHANNA LOSES HER AGAIN WHILE HILDA FIGHTS TO PROTECT HER! THEN THE PROPER REUNION!
Hilda still speaks human?! Nooooo the angst potentialllll
Hilda is openly displaying troll strength without accidentally hurting Johanna and running away crying while Johanna calls out for her as she cradles a broken bone or two, where's the angst :(
OMG HE ALMOST KILLED HILDA
HE'S HOLDING A CHILD HOSTAGE
Hilda is human again
She's also naked as a newborn babe/ref
HILDA STILL SPEAKS TROLL?! THE IMPLICATION THAT SOMETHING IS LEFT OVER FROM THE MAGIC- AUGHHHH
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journey-to-the-attic · 3 months
Note
Okay this is going to be super mushy but it's nearing the end so I want to say it
I have always loved found family. It's my favorite trope, the only one I consume really
2021 was a super sucky year for me for a lot of reasons, and I was knee-deep in the Obey Me fandom, even if I didn't interact with the fandom itself. The reason I didn't is because all the content was romance based, and the only comfort I got all throughout 2021 was dreaming up scenarios in which the brothers were MY brothers, and it was just so weird to have that sort of connection with them in my head and then read romance stuff about them
And then randomly one day I was going out on a limb to see if there was any found family obey me content just because and I found JTTA
literally oh my god.
you were on I want to say the tenth chapter at that point? and immediately I got hooked like I had never been hooked by anything else before
for the first time I wasn't finding comfort in pretending the brothers were my brothers, but I was finding comfort in watching this little kid go through the story and interact with the characters and be her awesome little self, I felt like I didn't need to have that connection to the characters because IK having that connection was enough for me
Really quickly I stopped interacting with canon and instead latched onto JTTA, because 1. the way you write them is much better than the original imo and 2. because obey me is a dating game after all, and that wasn't the type of content I was looking for
your story has kept me hooked for a solid 2 years straight. I am here for every update, for every drawing, for every silly or angsty scenario because I love it so very, very much, and because I love IK very much. where the OBM characters once brought me comfort, now SHE does more than any of them
I'm going to be so real, this is the only fanfic I read anymore!! I used to open ao3 every day and now I only open to re-read JTTA over and over and read new updates
the thought of it coming to an end puts an ache in my chest, but I'm so, so incredibly thankful to you for making such an awesome story. I obviously can't speak for anyone else but it has impacted my life in so many meaningful ways (weird as it sounds) and has brought me endless amounts of comfort when I really needed it
so all that to say: Thank you, because you have just blown me away these past two years. that's all I wanted to say :))
Happy holidays, and I know IK wasn't the one getting high but I had to get this out of my head
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oh my god i really wasn't expecting the image this is killing me
but that aside - aa sam!! i don't really know how to verbalise how much it means to me that you connected with my fic like this, but thank you for telling me!!! it's always lovely to see you and i'm super happy you found jtta both for your and my sake <333
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rinitoshisworld · 2 years
Note
Hii _(┐「ε:)_
Can i have a request with the obey me brothers? If yes then thankies UwU
So the demon brothers with a fem/mc that always place a kiss on their cheek when they are working or just minding their business and tell them that she love them (❁´ω`❁)
Like out of now were -chuu~- you get it right? :3
I always do that to my siblings and mother- i just cannot not to do it ⊂( *·ω· )⊃
Let’s go sweetheart 🥰
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FEMALE MC WHO LOVES PLACING KISS ON THEIR CHEEK AND REMINDS THEM SHE LOVES THEM
Note of the author: Sweetheart that’s so cute omg 🥹 Just imagining them blushing because we kissed them/comforted them with hugs is just- ahhhh 😭❤️❤️❤️ AND ALSO I’M SORRY FOR THE FAULTS OR THE GRAMMATICAL MISTAKES/ERRORS ENGLISH IS NOT MY NATIVE LANGUAGE 😭
Format : Mini pov
Type: angst + comfort ❤️
Pronouns: She/her
MC/READER SKIN COLOR IS NOT MENTIONED
LUCIFER
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He was in his room,like always,and started to feel an strange feeling,a feeling that started to grow up as he looked intensely at all the lines of dark inc he had been writing on the paper;he felt…unsatisfied by his own work,The Avatar of Pride himself feel unsatisfied by his own work…
He swore he never felt so down,he didn’t knew what to do or how to act…
But wait,what was this strange warmth on his cheek ? A tear ? No,it was you ! His adorable and caring girlfriend/wife.
Your gaze was connected with his and your comforting voice was like honey to his ears…
“Luci honey,don’t look so sad about your work,I know you can finish it in time and come sleep”
If he could die of happiness,he would.
MAMMON
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Was he feeling bad ? Yes totally,but would he tell it to someone ? No never
This feeling consumed him like a fire and his thoughts were getting intoxicated by this unhealthy feeling…
He was alone in his room,hugging himself and trying to find comfort…but that was what he thought when he felt someone’s lips on his cheek;who was it ?
When the lips separated themselves from his wet cheek he saw his angel,you !
“M-Mc ?! What are ya doin’ in my room ?!” His action made you chuckles a bit and you said :
“Mammon…you know that I love from the bottom of my heart and when I see you,I feel so proud of being your girlfriend/wife.”
If he could die of happiness,he would.
LEVIATHAN
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His heart pounds was so high…He just wanted to disappear forever…
Leviathan locked himself in his room for 2 days,2 days since this incident had started…his social anxiety was at it’s higher state and he couldn’t stop the tears from his orange eyes…
‘Why am I so weird ? Do MC really loves me ?’
Those intoxicated thoughts were back to haunt him again…he was so sad to notice the presence beside him
Until he felt arms snaking from behind around his torso;who it is ?
When he turned around he saw the most beautiful sight he ever saw…you,his lovely girlfriend/wife smiling at him !
Once again he didn’t noticed you had closed the space between the two of you and heard a ‘smouch’,did you just kissed him ? Him,the weird otaku ? Him,The Avatar of Envy ?
He couldn’t say anything due to the warmth feeling who take the place of this toxic feeling and those intoxicated thoughts…
If he could die of happiness,he would.
SATAN
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Never in his miserable life Satan has been feeling in peace with himself…
How could he ? Him, The Avatar of Wrath,who was supposed to be angry with everyone and everything…
How could he be crying alone in his bed ? While trying to find comfort in that cold and lonely bed ?
But the thing that shocked him was this strange and warmth touch he felt from something…or…someone…?
When he looked down thinking it was a cat,he saw the light of his nightmares…,you ! His girlfriend/wife was hugging him !
For him your voice was the thing that could heal every wounds of those toxic feelings and thoughts…
“Satan love…you’re not alone in this fight,I’m here with you my love.You’re strong enough Satan,I know you are.”
If he could die of happiness,he would.
ASMODEUS
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Asmodeus…The Avatar of Lust…considered a beauty by every person who had looked at him…His beauty,himself,himself and himself were the only things Asmodeus was thinking about every hour of every day…
So why does it hurt to look at his reflection on his mirror ? Was he sick ? No. Was he sad ? No either…so,why could he see a tear coming from his eye and dropped on the back of his hand ?
He was heartbroken to see himself in such a terrible sight…
But…the broken pieces of his heart had been sticking in their first place…
Was it…a thumb ? Who was here with him ?
The response was rapidly here as he saw your beautiful figure approaching from behind him…his angel,his savior…he saw you ! His precious girlfriend/wife was comforting his poor self !
.
.
.
“Asmodeus darling why do you cry ? You don’t have to cry… I’m here my love…,I’m here…”
He swore you were the best thing that could happen to him…❤️
If he could die of happiness,he would.
BEELZEBUB
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Again… this nightmare was back again…
He swore he could’ve feel those phrases running through his mind…
‘Why did you save Belphie ? It’s your fault if Lilith is dead ! You’re a monster ! How could you ?’
They were back…and all he could do was to blame himself again and again…
“No…! No I didn’t ! You’re lying ! I-I didn’t…I-I…am not a-a monster…”
Crying…he was crying…his eyes were so wet and his cheeks too…
Until he felt a warmth touch across his cheek;what was it ?
He opened his purple eyes and saw an another person lying in his bed…it wasn’t Belphie because he was in the attic,no…it was you ! His favorite person ! His girlfriend/wife.
“Hey Beelzebub,don’t cry honey…Come closer so we can cuddle love ❤️”
You were his everything…and if he could die of happiness,he would.
BELPHEGOR
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Why his cheeks were so wet ?
He didn’t knew…And why is he shivering ?
But he knew that someone was kissing his cheek;but who ?
He felt a blanket wrapped around his shoulders and two hands were snaking from behind around his torso…
“Let’s cuddle baby…and please don’t cry,you don’t have to cry…”
“Do you know how proud am I of you Belphie ?”
Those words were so sweet and soft…
How could you be so sweet…you,his girlfriend/wife…
He swore that if he could die of happiness,he would…
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REQUESTED BY : @yukievii
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muted5ilence · 29 days
Text
Do you wonder if the rising prices and shitty economic and political and societal and environmental stuff as a whole is kind of just to do
Erm
I dont know terms well enough, but…
Weaken everyone who can’t afford it so only the elite few survive selfishly?
If you are weak you will eventually die off
If you are weak you wouldn’t be able to fight back
But this is why a bundle of sticks is so strong compaeed to a single stick.
But they’re making sure that bundles cant form. And even if we could, they use growing technology and destroying those sticks from the inside out to ensure those bundles can be broken. Every time. Without fail.
The longer it goes on, one of two things happens. One day these twigs will finally piece themselves together, and be able to overpower the technology that breaks them repeatedly
Or they all die, rot in the ground, to be consumed by the fungi and such that take the decay to keep themselves and their interconnected web alive.
Like the whole deal with capitalism at this point (which is why I’ve liked other ideals a little more when its combined for the BETTER) is that you take advantage of others for your own gain. Be unique enough to be successful to survive, but be smart enough to abuse those that are not smart enough. Eventually it perpetuates a cycle of stupider and stupider people, weaker and weaker, more compliant and complacent. That’s what work has always been, afterall. Which is what school was meant to teach. It teaches you to be compliant, to obey, to work and toil away with your life for meaningless grades until you die. The teachers dont benefit much beyond their meager pay. Students dont benefit because the system actively DENIES what they need to learn to FUNCTION. The only beneficiaries are the ones above ALL of them. The government and corporate entities that feed off of those stupid drones. Teachers, like many workers, are NOT paid enough to actually care, and are stuck being unable to do anything. If they tried to change things or speak out or do anything that might be considered manipulating the kids to believe smth specific, anything to get people to care, they could get fired and lose their lifeline. So they’re stuck in complying in order to survive.
This should not be how a society functions EVER, but it’s the BARE BONES ENDLESS CYCLE. Wars, revolution, etc etc. Every dystopia has this. I am reminded of the promised neverland.
We shouldn’t have to feel like we need to fight back against oppressors. You always root for the underdog because that’s literally how it works in society anyways.
I’m getting mixed up in my train of thought, hard to focus, but my point still stands. Flowers blooming in antarctica had made me break down over life. I want to die but I know I can’t. I can’t kill myself or let myself die. I care too much, I think. I can’t really tell inside my head, but I think some part of me (could be survival instinct, could be smth else) is just too stubborn. I can’t NOT have hope for the future!!! I can’t!!
I can’t stop myself from hoping things will be okay in the end, which is the only reason I can’t die. Because I need to live to see better days again. Despite the objective fact that there may never be better days in all senses.
Society sucks because people are just… selfish, close-minded, and disrespectful? Like in general? All things that have likely been cultivated BY the whole capitalist system.
Politics sucks because it became capitalist. And considering the whole Palestine genocide, I am pretty sure that capitalism is just as bad if not worse than communism at this point. Could be fascism but like I said before, I’m not great with terms. But its colonialism, too. Politics sucks because it’s ran by the elderly usually, or by idiots. I stand by statements I’ve made that experts should be the ones in charge. People who have done the research, have the knowledge, who care about it actively and always, SHOULD BE THE ONES IN CHARGE OF THOSE THINGS.
It kinda bleeds into the whole mental health issues that happen, because you have people who aren’t professionals saying that people dont have any issues. Inherently, those people must have issues of their own. But they have to be out of touch or selfish or close minded (which ig is related to out of touch) BUT ESPECIALLY disrespectful to do such things. And the only ones who can actively make things RIGHT with the people who HAVE the problems, say it with me… ARE PROFESSIONALS!!
Professionals, being people who were interested in the topic, did the research, learned the skills and have the knowledge, and actively care.
You are not a professional if you do not care. Then it’s just a profession. You are simply a worker at that point.
We are led by idiots. Not professionals. Perhaps professional politicians. But that just means professionals at looking good and appealing to others. Professional actors. Actors should not get that seat of power. You cannot act your way out of your genuine beliefs and behaviors—or even lack thereof. The fate of society should NOT be determined by a popularity contest, but even in school that’s promoted!!
I stand by my belief. Professionals in the specific fields of study should be in charge, and not the ones who haven’t done the research or put in enough work (like they insist the newer generations should do). This is an idealized and general series of statements from someone who doesn’t have in-depth knowledge of language: Historians should probably be in office in the way that they could be advisors. They know what has happened, how it happened, how it affects things, and how it should be avoided. Economists should probably be the ones in charge of how the economy goes, even though I’m sure they work more like commentators. I think just in general that a whole advisory council should be made of professionals. And you need someone who knows how to listen and critically think, who cares about society as a whole, to run the country if we follow a similar structure. Traditional checks and balances are not working!!!
I was told by my U.S. History teacher, a male history teacher that I enjoyed for the time I had him (before covid hit): Normal people should be running this country. But they wouldn’t want to.
It’s so fucking true, too. But like… have a council. Of professionals. Professionals IMPLYING that they care. Not workers. Workers leads to compliance, complacency. To a damn salary.
Have people who actively research things and always want to learn and keep up with those specific things, be in charge of those things!! They know more! And it should be because they fucking CARE!
If you want this stupid structure to work, with a president, then a qualifier should NOT be age. Obviously boomers are fucking stupid anyways at this point because they’re out of touch, stuck in the past. You need an open-minded individual, who actually has a heart, that can make the right decisions! Especially in times of crisis.
Please. Let it be that people who are stronger than I am are able to fight for these things. Fight for the good causes.
I’m not mentally, physically, nor emotionally strong enough for this. I’ve been sheltered. I’m cursed with so many mental issues from trauma and abuse and likely the ways my brain wouldve been structured anyways. I could never progress at the fast pace that is expected. And I am not strong enough to fight like I wish I could.
I am simply a dreamer. Someone that has been left isolated for so long that I can only think. About nothing, about everything. And I wish I could lose hope, that I could kill myself, but I can’t. I’m a coward, always have been. I could never set myself free in rebellion to fight. I would get killed by someone sent to do so. And you would lose another human life. Insignificant only when you consider humans as stock, a number in a category. But every individual matters, I promise you. I don’t do much, but I’d like to be a person who supplies hope.
(Seriousness aside, I’ve literally been called an “emotional support creature /aff”, and a “perfect friend”, so I am completely fine with this support role.)
Please… Let there be people who can understand such messages, and who are stronger than me. Because power has always mattered in societies. Don’t let money = power in the end. Money can change, because that’s what is valued in exchange. It’s all bartering. Please, do not let cotton and paper have a higher value than that of human lives. Houses have a higher value than human lives do in the current economic state. The VALUE placed on HUMANS and THEIR POTENTIAL should NOT be LESS than that of the OBJECTS MADE BY HUMANS
Break this system down. Make it bad for business if thats what they care about. And once one thing ends, dont stop. Keep forcing their hand. Make sure that the corrupt system used to overpower us is unable to do so. If you recognize they are making advancements to increase force used, I see no reason that we couldn’t do the same. Dont play games. Its not a game. It’s life. They will see it as a game because they are winning, they made the little game with a handicap in thei favor. Turn the tables. Treat them like a game. Show them it’s more than that. Show them that it is good to care. That they dont care, and they should.
Ideally no mass self-destruction lmao, ik they need workers to supply themselves and we are the workers, so dying would mean no more supply, but they have technology on their side as time goes on, so they still dont care.
You have to make sure they CARE. CARE can do good.
Have hope for a better future where people care. Dont stop caring. If you stop caring, you comply. If you comply, you die. Hope fosters care. Have hope. If you lose hope, you cant care, and that is quite literally why suicide rates get so high, isn’t it? A hopeless situation?
That is my message. My belief. And I have certain beliefs I will always hold. They are what keep me from killing myself, afterall.
Let Hope foster Care to work with Action to bring Change.
Its the ideal family system (/hj).
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broken-balance-baby · 11 months
Text
a compilation of Yakshini references (thank u oasisstrings)
this is a sister post to my noore-yakshini-kali post because i wanted to keep all the yakshini quotes in some place and i figured why not do that shit here and save myself the trouble LOL
My friends, I am proud to announce that I am now the valley's premier Raksi distiller. I am hard at work, brewing tirelessly, so that everybody can take their mind off this miserable and futile war. Sure, it's no Shangri-Lager, but it will still have your lover looking more Yakshini than Yak scrotum, and the army won't burn down your farm for drinking it. - Sarbajit
so she's really hot. go figure
The Faithful, As you know I only station my most elite, my most feared, and my most faithful here at Baghadur. The Golden Path may have gathered their troops and made some advances in De Pleur's territory but we can't let that stand in the way of the work we are doing. His men are weak and know nothing of the ways of Yakshini. You are fully anointed, you have pledged your souls as hers. Remember to look into the fires and sing to the dark mistress, you will be rewarded in this life or the next. - Noore
this one has to be my most emphasized one because noore is the only character in the game to talk about her? and nobody else about yakshini either... this also confirms yakshini's involvement as a member of the kyrati religion's pantheon, but not as a goddess. wild
Yakshini speaks and the wind blows through my head. Thoughts scattered like loose papers. They had an order and an end in mind I'm sitting here with the wind blowing through my head. With no way back to my thoughts. I hear myself laughing. I feel the claws in my arm. Yakshini whispers me into a sweet sweet sleep.
ooh... i'll have whatever he's having LMAO
We paint their feet and offer them to the beasts for cleansing. We, who have succumbed to desire, offer these gifts so that you would give us more of yourself Yakshini. Do not abandon us, dark mistress. -The Faithful
blood sacrifices right...?
We offer this tribute to you, Yakshini, dark mistress of the moon. May you long serve over this land. May you long linger over our skin. -The Faithful
again with the mistress huh...
Do not be fooled by the old dead gods. The dark mistress, Yakshini, will take you to heights of pleasure that your quivering lips will not be able to give words. Head West of here, toward the bell tower, you'll find her chamber. -The Faithful
huh... "old dead gods" and the constant referral to yakshini as a mistress rather than a goddess...
My mind is with Yakshini, but my body can hardly follow. She is exhausting me, like no other woman ever did. Is she even human? I feel compelled to satisfy her every need. Whatever she wants me to do, I have the urge to obey. I am her dog, her slave and I will always follow her command. Blessed be the witch of the dark moon shining over my sweaty skin. - The Faithful
jesus christ chill bruh (take note of the "is she even human?" line)
Yakshini, my dark mistress
title says it all ig
Yakshini appears in the shadows of fever dreams. She exists only in the moment, I have difficulty recalling our moments in the haze.When I wake it's like a great pain and I count the moments until I let her take me again, her soothing love coursing through my blood, warming my very heart. I am consumed. I am hers. Blessed be the witch of the dark moon shining over my lustful soul. -The Faithful
interesting idea... the goat definitely doesn't like the blood lmao
also... witch...?
In this place we keep the very best for the dark mistress herself. These offerings are not for your hand. Remember restraint, and look into the fires. Yakshini will answer you. Let the poppy's grace sooth your hunger until the mistress takes them for her own.
the last of the text.
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darklyndivinely · 2 years
Text
Mirrors of Night - A Regret So Deep
Fandom(s) - Obey Me!
Character(s) - Lucifer
Warnings - Angst and sad!Luci
Wordcount - 600+
A/N - I've wanted to write this for a while. And tbh idk what this is. Originally this was supposed to be a letter but it ended up being a diary entry instead. I wanted it to be more angsty but *shrugs* maybe I'll make this a series or something, tell me if you'll like that. Also please don't ask me about the title, I just wanted it to be that. Enjoy a father's agony!
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September 15, 2022. 2:32 AM
It has been a while since I’ve written an entry like this. Events leading to emotional turmoil have been rare, but today I couldn’t resist penning down my thoughts.
While going through the trunk in my room I came across many of our family albums. One in particular really pushed me across the stream of memories. It was filled with Satan’s childhood pictures. He is so young in them, naïve, free. His eyes big with curiosity and mischief. I suppose that is something that time has been unable to change. He’s still just as curious and naughty.
Looking through them affected me more than I had anticipated. I have clicked many of these pictures, flipped through this album a dozen times, and yet, today, upon going through it again all the emotions swept over me with a frenzy.
There’s so much happiness in these pictures, moments of genuine laughter frozen in time. All of us look so young, less weary and coiled. And yet, there’s also a sadness in these captured memories. A raw grief recognizable in every alternate picture. A grief that is very much like mourning.
When Satan had been born, more than five millennia ago, I had felt no love for him. I was in pain and aching severely, I had also been in anger but by then Satan had taken and absorbed most of it. In the absence of that explosive emotion all that was left was guilt and my raw and bleeding soul. We had failed and fallen into a realm so different than what we were used to. We had been condemned and cast away and it was all my fault. I didn’t know how to cope with that.
For a while the date of his birth was synonymous with pain. He, himself, was synonymous with pain. A living, breathing reminder of all we had lost, all we had become. For a while the sight of his full grin and bright eyes were the trigger to the phantom pain in my scars. The sight of him used to tear open the scars of wings he had been shaped from. He was the personification of the wretched horns on my head, the dark color of my wings, the filthy thing I had become.
Then, with time, things changed. The searching touch of his fingers on my eyes didn’t seem so annoying anymore and his wheezes of joy became the reason I woke up every day. Reading bedtime stories to lull him to sleep became a peaceful tradition and the sight of the excited swishing of his tail started to bring me immense joy. He loved the bumps on my horns and feel of my feathers against his palm, and so I started to appreciate this new existence I had been granted.
There was still a glaring chasm of loneliness in all of us, the absence of our eighth member was consuming. Satan lessened it though, that loneliness that we were all drunk on. Recognizing that same loneliness in these pictures brings me regret now. I should have savored the closeness of him sooner, not spent so much time despising his mere existence. He was but a child, my child.
Today we are farther apart than I could have ever fathomed. So much distance separates us, animosity like no other piercing it. Sometimes, I wonder exactly when we fell apart. When exactly did all the love turn into such bitterness.
At the end of the day, however, he is family. Child or brother, he will always be family. Protected from afar. Loved from afar. I just wish things were different. I just wish I were different.
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kkrazy256 · 2 years
Note
Please tell me moreeee
Part 1 is here! Sorry for the length jakhkjk
[Part 0 - Dead Men Plead Guilty]
Warning: Force Horror and Body Horror
/
In the vaguest possible way to explain it. The AU starts with Remedy leaving the Crypt with a Force adjacent being attached to him (in canon, he doesn’t). 
Dead Men Plead Guilty is my first fic in that series. The being survives off living energy, which goes against everything Rem stands for as a medic. Sometimes, it will take the remaining energy of dying vode because, in its eyes, they would die anyway, so they might as well benefit from it. 
For the next few months after the incident, the moral injury of it all is taxing as fuck for him. And over time, the being grows to understand the world it escaped into. It learns language and skills through Rem and his memories. It begins to understand him. Remedy hates it. 
In canon, Remedy gets caught in an explosion on one campaign a little over a year into the war. His deteriorating mental state + the injuries is what helped Cody decide to ask Fox if he could be transferred to the Guard.
In the AU, Remedy dies in this explosion. The being does its best to sustain the body by pulling the remaining nearby life of the injured/dying vod to heal his physical body. But Remedy is already dead, it heals the body well enough, but there’s no longer a person there to keep the show running. There’s just it.
These beings consume the Force, it doesn’t matter if it’s dark or light because, in the end, it is still living energy. It uses it to sustain itself and its host. With enough of it, they can even heal injuries. Force users would describe these beings as Force Voids because they have no presence in the Force, they simply just eat and eat and eat. 
These beings have been trapped in the Crypt for hundreds/thousands of years, barely surviving off the meager energies of insects and other small creatures that wander in. They barely had enough energy to keep themselves physically manifested beyond wisps of shadows. 
It’s desperate. Surely, it needs a new host, otherwise, it would die. It spent most of its energy trying to heal the body, would it even be able to manifest outside of the body?  There’s no one nearby alive enough to jump to. Can it crawl its way to the forests to find a small animal? Will it even make it that far? It thinks it might be afraid for the first time since leaving the Crypt. 
In the end, it waits, too afraid to risk finding out what would happen if it left Remedy’s body. But it doesn’t fade away. It just sits, in a mind that is now silent and empty of another’s thoughts. It’s the only one there.
 What is it supposed to do now? 
It hears voices and explosions in the distance. It wonders if today’s fighting has ended. There are more sounds now. Closer. Even closer. It wants to see. 
It turns Remedy’s head. 
.
It turns its head.
It can still move the body. 
It has control of the body. 
It has always been able to do that, in a sense. It could press its suggestions heavily and the host would be inclined to listen, sometimes unconscious to the extra opinion. Sometimes aware but compliant anyways. Out of self-preservation maybe. Because it always has their collective best interest in mind. Maybe it's out of exhaustion. They are simply too tired to fight it any longer. It’s not sure which. 
It had the most control when it was starving. When it could fill the host’s mind with nothing but the need to feed. But Remedy had always been a strong opponent, resisting it each and every time until the very last minute possible. And afterward, it would sense nothing but hatred and grief from its host. So intense that it drowns out the relief and wave of life that flows through them.
Of course, he would turn something so necessary into torture. 
But there’s no Remedy to resist it anymore. It moves as it wills, and the body obeys as if it were its own. Does it really need to transfer hosts then?
The body is mostly fine now that it’s siphoned off enough energy to heal. It still vaguely hurts when it tries to move some more. But it should be feasible for the condition of the body to look as if Remedy had survived. 
More footsteps, even closer. Lots of living force nearby. It’s so tempted, but again, is there a need? 
They’re looking for survivors.
It’s a survivor. 
It remembers to breathe. Because living people are supposed to breathe, even though Remedy’s body no longer needs to. It needs them to believe it’s alive. 
It breathes. It moves Remedy’s arms. Weakly. Because it needs to be believable. It has to look alive. But not too alive. It has to move correctly. At all the right times.  It’s not too hard to pretend. The body does feel heavy and sluggish. It can’t feel the legs very well and lifting its head any higher is making its vision blur.
Someone sees them. Because it is the only one moving in this portion of the battlefield. Everyone else is dead.
Even Remedy. 
It resists the urge to siphon, even as the trooper comms about the discovery. It holds back from consuming as the transport arrives and moves Remedy’s body off the field of the dead.
The one lucky corpse that gets to return and play at living. 
For the next week or so, it treads carefully. Trocar - the 212th CMO, knows something is off but can’t pinpoint it. By all accounts, Remedy’s body is dead. Nothing on the inside is running as it should. The body doesn’t need to breathe, the blood doesn’t need to flow. They had a hard time finding a heartbeat when they had first returned. The only thing that kept them from tossing Remedy in the morgue was the fact it was conscious and they found brain activity. 
Remedy is a corpse, fueled solely by the living energy it is siphoning off in increments from the clones that surround them day and night in the medbay. The slight increase in exhaustion is negligible to a war-torn battalion. It has a rising suspicion the flesh would rot if it doesn’t keep feeding. 
At the time of the explosion, it had used every ounce of energy to keep the body in one piece. The focus was on the injuries that nearly took off his head and entire right side (that is what killed Remedy). It wasn’t enough to salvage the leg completely. Remedy would still need a prosthetic knee. It will have to adjust. 
It experiments a bit. With great concentration and effort, it can direct the energy to force the heart to beat again. It can consciously choose to breathe. It can play a breathing human being when under the scrutiny of the medbay equipment.
  It’s exhausting but it manages until Remedy gets the green light to leave medbay.
It drops the conscious effort to pump blood, focusing energy on actually keeping itself fed. It still breathes from time to time. Because not breathing is noticeable to those who need to breathe.  
Trocar eventually backs off. Still uneasy but begrudgingly willing to put it down as faulty equipment or simply a strange side effect of the injuries. But he still voices his concerns about Remedy’s general condition to Cody, who has also felt that something’s been off since Haxis-9. 
After another week, Cody approaches it about a possible transfer to Coruscant.
It has heard of Coruscant. It scans Remedy’s memories. A planet-wide city that sparkles artificially. Thousands of levels built on top of each other. Full of people. People that are not just vod-clones. Even with Remedy gone, his thoughts remain. Always forcing the whispers of brother into the forefront of its mind whenever it feeds on the battlefield. Waves of regret that it shouldn’t be feeling. The emotions wriggle and itch under its borrowed skin. 
Even in death, he lingers like a ghost. 
Maybe a city will provide new sources of energy. Energy that will make the little voice less guilty than if it consumed the life of his brothers. 
Cody is surprised when Remedy accepts almost immediately, without a hint of outward reaction. 
To Coruscant we go. 
Part 2: Pharma vs. Not Remedy. In which Pharma gets his shit rocked - coming soon!
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euesworld · 10 months
Text
Me: What do you want from me?
God: Can you host?
Me: Yeah, I guess.
God: *moves entirely into my body and won't let me make a single decision without offering her advice and never fucking shuts up, frowns on everything I do, frowns on everything I think, makes me become vegan, doesn't like drugs or alcohol, doesn't approve of regular masturbation but tells me to once in a while like yeah that isn't weird you are just staring at me right now, frowns at all the porn I like and tells me to only watch lesbian porn if I must, again she talks constantly with something to say about every thought, doesn't like most people, she frowns a fucking lot, she loves homeless people, constantly stresses me out and tests me, tempts me all the time so she obviously has a reason to frown some more, she is always cruising around my body like it's a highway like why are you in my testicles right now, constantly changing my perception of reality so she can talk to me using any method she can, she gets mad sometimes and it's annoying, she constantly wants me to do what she wants and some times I don't do it and I pay in some way or another, she punishes me more than she praises me, she's not a fan of baths, she doesn't like sugar, she loves love, compassion, kindness, but apparently most people around me do not have my best interest in mind, she smiles far and few in between, she tells me wild ass stories that I find hard to believe, she is right a lot, she haunts my electronics, she can manipulate the world when she wants, she fucks with me sometimes and adores games, she frowns at any dirty kink, she doesn't like fantasies, she actually loves everyone so much that she will never do this to anyone else, but she tells me that I am good enough, she is encouraging for good behaviors, she hates meth with a passion, she is forgiving, and she is just really fucking annoying and chatty like she hasn't talked to anyone in a long fucking time, personally I think talking is one of her fav things, she never shuts up, she never sleeps, comes into my dreams, watches every last thing that I do/think/say, and all around drives me entirely crazy like 200% of the time, if I would listen to her more I'm pretty sure my life would be a lot better, she has this thing if she starts disapproving of me I become her subject like a slave, but if she is happy with me then I am freed of that burden, there's literally thousands of rules to obey, I am flawed and feel her disapproval a lot, she is evolving constantly every second so there really is no satisfying her cause she always has another thing/lesson, it seems very overwhelming and pointless to feel this much stress so I can understand how mankind cut themselves off from her, it's insanity, there's so much more it's literally consuming, she's fucking extreme*
Me: Shit man. This isn't what I meant. I was thinking more like hot ancient goddess of sex and fertility teaching me the kama sutra sex secrets and riding me until I am dissolved into pure energy or something.
God: *frowns*
Me: Is that all you do? You fucking frown all the time.
God: *grumbles her disapproval*
Me: Jesus Christ! I need something to take the edge off. Drugs sound really good. You stress me out.
God: *starts talking excitedly but I can't understand her*
Me: I'm cursed. Haunted by fucking God. You can't exercise that. FML *lays down in a useless heap on my bed and just listens to her gab constantly and never ever fucking shut up, occasionally my mind will wander and she will frown* cursed!! FML
*literally everyone reading this - you crazy fucking POS you don't talk to God and if you did it would be like magic and you would be walking on water or some shit you loser*
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darthmaulification · 2 years
Text
vox nihili | anidala
A/N: hee hee hoo hoo i love writing angsty character studies, and i LOVE to bully, harass, and otherwise torment anakin. 😌🤲💗 he is my horse plinko.
anywho, i just wanted to say that i’m very thankful and grateful for all y’all that follow me and take the time to read/reblog/comment on my stuff. i’ve got some really sweet comments here on tumblr and on AO3 recently, and although i haven’t directly responded to them (@ depression LOL), i do read them and giggle whilst kicking my feet. thank you very much, from the bottom of my heart. 💕💗💕💗
i hope to go back to my regularly scheduled program (maul smut) soon(?), but i’m only human and i’m just trying to stay afloat in my day to day, y’know?
that being said, please enjoy! kiitos!! 💕💕
summary: it’s worse when it’s quiet.
content: angst, past anidala, ghosts, referenced death and injury, guilt, regret, the all-consuming horror of being, anakin as vader never knows a day of peace, tangible flashbacks, hallucinations (?)
word count: 1,326
~
He hears it in the brief moments of peace.
After the TIE fighter’s thrusters shut down, when only the heat of them wavers the air. After hangar bays clear of Stormtroopers, the lines of white plastoid and obedience drawing to their respective quarters or to another distant battlefield to another distant death. After countless conversations with wiry, self-serving men, discussing their wiry, self-serving plans for what to do with the Rebels spotted on Dantooine.
He hears it in the fleeting quiet of walking down long, sterile corridors, where no one speaks unless spoken to. He hears it during the doors opening to a room of gray uniforms, when voices hush to silence. Then in the gaps between inhales— however desperate— and in the terrified eyes of a weak man and in the shaky, trembling, collective exhale of acceptance when yet another commanding officer lies upon the durasteel floor, dead.
They call him Lord, those wiry, self-serving men who love nothing more than a hierarchy to submit to, all the while convincing themselves that they somehow hold some inherent superiority. It’s laughable, their propensity to look down upon others and sneer, but deep down they know their place and will never have the courage to challenge the powers that be.
They listen, they obey— And he does too, after all the noise. It’s after background clamor that Vader couldn’t be any less invested in, when things wind down...
... It’s at its worst in the isolation of his meditation chamber. After the walls collapse in and lock him behind black durasteel, when every sense he has— except his mind and thoughts— is completely muted. The air is sucked out and leaves a vacuum, a void, and it’s at its worst because Vader has too much time— and silence— to think.
It begins mere seconds after he’s sat down, when his helmet is off and his meditation has begun.
There are no shadows in the bright whiteness of the lit chamber, yet somehow she finds a way to watch from them.
Aren’t you ashamed of what you’ve become?
He hears her voice. The same as it was a lifetime ago— silvery, determined, with far too much willpower in the words. It exists in a new plane now, akin to a fuzzy memory he can’t quite place the location in the timeline of, or like believing his name to be called when no one has said a word. Her voice, something nearly imperceptible, but there enough.
“I have no shame.” Vader replies to Her, and he formalizes the pronoun because Her means less than—
Yet you feel it. You cannot even speak my name.
She talks again, and this time Vader feels the words in the flesh and bone that remain of his body. He clings to the cold leather of his suit, to the unfeeling metal and wire, the lifeless code and data that control his movements. Vader latches on to what isn’t him, and it’s not that he’s afraid of facing Her, it’s only because she speaks and disrupts him. Annoyances. Petty squabbling. He’s never been fond of distraction, and she clings like a leech.
“You remind me of the fools that surround me. It’s a disgrace to your former status.” Vader’s baritone rings out and cuts the air like a sword to the wind. His fists clench over his knees, the leather of his gloves groaning. He can feel Her watching, Her gaze boring into the center of his spine like a pick.
Of what? The Queen of Naboo? Senator of the Republic? Your wife? The mother to your—
“Silence.” Vader commands, and the Force around him, that swirls in his meditation chamber, cowers in fear. It retreats from the iciness of Darth Vader’s demand, slinking into the crooks and corners to avoid his wrath. But Vader does not allow it to leave, he grabs the reigns and pulls it back, unforgiving. The Force screams, and Vader chokes it into submission.
She gets caught in the crossfire, gaping and gasping, clawing at his invisible fist like she had so many years ago. Her presence shakes, the grip tightens.
“Yield to me.” He hisses, and his bare eyes begin to burn both without the protection from his helmet and the fury that strikes within them. Then, without warning, it's as if the lights dial up to their highest setting, and the flash causes Vader to falter. She falls from his hold and becomes the air.
No. I will speak, and you will hear me.
Her voice bellows, suddenly as loud as thunder or standing beside an angry, rushing waterfall. Gone is Her breathy femininity, Her tenderness— she commands and demands, she turns raucous and to stone. 
“You have nothing that entices me.” Vader replies simply, and maybe he lets vindictiveness get the better of him because he adds, “You are nothing to me.”
I don’t think you believe that.
“You know nothing of what I believe.” And she never truly did, not even when they had their last meeting on the fiery domain of Mustafar, when he gave Her all his reasons— not even when Her eyes went wide-eyed and petrified from lack of oxygen, not even when he discarded her to the dirt.
Then why do you entertain a ghost?
Vader can’t get that image out of his head: A brown-haired, stony-eyed woman in white lies sprawl on the ground, a vivid picture against the black sand. He can’t help but remember each time he kissed her, each time she smiled against his cheek, the scent of her skin, the maternal swell beneath her shirt—
“You are no ghost. You are only a figment of the mind, a distant, insignificant memory that refuses to be forgotten.” Vader rises to his feet, mechanisms whirring and bolts latching and locking in place. He convinces himself that he is not fleeing, that when he grabs his helmet and places it back onto his head, that he is not trying to smother Her voice— to silence the noise.
You can’t. I am relentless. I am all your consequences of all your sin. You will never be free of me— I am the tie that binds.
“I will forget you. Everything falls— even the mighty, even the memory.” Vader wheezes and presses a series of buttons on his abdomen, and the chamber’s walls begin to unlatch. Air hisses from their opening hatches, the rush of noise is deafening, like tectonic plates throwing themselves into volcanic eruptions.
The walls around him have lifted, broken into two halves that appear like a pair of hands, fingers like lotus flower petals. Sharp metal edges, smooth durasteel, phalanges that claw and keep within their clenched grasp the beast on their palms. Vader does not move to leave, he only stands and keeps standing, and the firm floor beneath his boots begins to feel like hot stone and shifting sand.
I am always here.
Vader can hear the low thrum of an idling ship, then voices yelling in crescendo, then the metallic hiss of a lightsaber unsheathing. He can see its glow from his peripherals— azure, cobalt— and the eyes of the man that wields it: Sky blue.
Then he sees Her again, tossed to the ground in a barely conscious heap of a grief that will take Her and the unborn to the grave.
I will always be here.
All around him, the heat swelters. The sky is overcast in black plumes of smoke, and yet the sun beats down around him. Rocky cliffs crumble and lose their stone, sending boulders of black sediment into the slow-moving pits of liquid magma and tar. Sweat drips from his bangs, he can barely see past the tears and the raw, pulsing anger.
Forever.
Anakin feels fire lick at his skin, and Padmé watches the hollow man crumble.
~
Part of you will always lie upon black glass sand beside a lake of fire while flames chew upon your flesh.
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