Falling asleep in one of the House of Lamentation's common rooms can be a gamble. At best, somebody kindly carries you back to your room and tucks you in. Or maybe they leave you where you were, but drape a jacket or blanket over you.
Sometimes they go overboard, and you wake up with too many blankets. It's sweltering hot and excessively heavy. You thought the brothers were just being supportive in a weird way until Mammon accidentally revealed everyone is trying to break the record of 23 blankets and three duvets.
Sometimes you wake up with a full manicure and facial in progress. Asmo likes the practice.
Sometimes you wake up wearing Lucifer's reading glasses or Mammon's sunglasses. The Anti-Lucifer League must have thought you make a good hiding spot.
Sometimes you wake up with fresh food next to you. Particularly if you fell asleep near mealtime. The strong smell of Devildom cuisine rouses you awake, and you catch Beel trying to tip-toe away.
Sometimes you find... offerings. Bottled tea, or sticker sheets, or a coin placed on your cheek. Levi started taking pictures and in thanks decided to make a shrine dedicated to his idol (you).
Sometimes they draw on your face. The first person to do so will leave a marker for anyone else who happens to feel creative. You've woken up with whiskers, a mustache, fake eyes drawn over your eyelids, money signs drawn on your eyelids, swirls and hearts, a goatee, a big unibrow, and you're pretty sure the twins are the culprits behind a game of tic-tac-toe.
Sometimes you get notes. Simple reminders, or a notice that Lucifer's left the house so please make sure to check that everyone's behaving when you wake up. Occasionally you wake up completely covered in post-its with silly messages.
Sometimes you get kisses. They leave no trace, unless their sender gets carried away and sticks around.
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Mammons most recently googled questions:
- do humans like to be pet?
- How much grimm does a human make throughout their life cycle?
- how to cut out human meat from my diet.
- is it okay for a human to ingest a small amount of human meat?
- how to not leave finger prints???
- top Ways to get rich quick
- gold bag
- demon scale gold bag
- viciousace golden dragon skin bag ( 42,000 raven)
- human intelligence quiz
- what to do when your human has now developed a taste for human flesh.
- what does outer space taste like
- what to do if your human has started trying to size you up to eat you?
- what is bone apple teeth???
- sharkcoochi board???
- sharkcochi baord??
- how to spell shark coochi bord??
- charcuterie board.
- shark shaped charcuterie board.
- how to tell if your human has rabbies
- what does a rabbies bite look liek???
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Mammon stares down at his youngest brother snoozing away on your lap. Belphegor has made himself at home with your thigh as a makeshift pillow. It’s far from the first time this has happened, and very unlikely to be the last. Any more, he just walks over and does it, falling asleep within moments without even asking. He’ll wake up if you try to stand. As long as you can still study, read, or scroll your D.D.D., it’s usually not too bothersome and easier to let Belphegor do what he wants.
The scowl on Mammon’s face says otherwise. “Ya really gonna let him walk, err, sleep all over you like that? How many time’s he done that this week?” He tisks and stomps his foot, looming over you with crossed arms. “Belphie, wake your ass up! Yer big bro has a bone to pick with you!”
You feel a warm exhalation on your leg. Belphegor seems to be sighing, but doesn’t bother opening his eyes or acknowledging Mammon in any other way, much to the elder’s chagrin.
“Push him off!” Mammon insists.
“I’m flattered you think I’m strong enough to push a full grown demon off of me,” you admit, lightly ruffling Belphegor’s hair. “But, no. I’m not.”
“Don’t encourage ‘im!” Mammon grabs Belphegor by the collar.
At this provocation, the youngest curls an arm under your thigh and nudges his nose into the fabric of your clothes. He refuses to budge. “They don’t mind it, so just leave us alone.” Belphegor’s muffled voice sounds tired and annoyed.
“Belphie, let go! Ugh, use your pact!” Mammon literally growls. “Don’t coddle this jerk, you spoil him too much!”
“Don’t yell at me about it! I’m just sitting here!” you pout. ”And Belphie, watch where you’re grabbing.” It’s not your fault these guys go crazy over you. “Pact orders are painful for you guys, yeah? I don’t want to go through all that trouble. I’m still learning how to control the magic and it’s not worth it right now.”
“Hah? You kiddin’ me?” Mammon taps his foot and gnashes his teeth as Belphegor gives him the cold shoulder. “Fine then. Be that way.”
He goes to walk away, but abruptly turns back and returns. It’s evident when Mammon gets a new idea into his head. You can practically see the light bulb pop up over his head as he dons a cheeky grin.
“Spread your legs for me,” he demands.
“What?” Now you’re staring at him, disbelief etched into your features. You knew Mammon had the occasional lewd thought but even for him this was brazen. Maybe his brothers are right and he’s finally lost it.
“Spread your legs for the Great Mammon! C’mon!”
Belphegor snorts and turns his head ever so slightly, just enough to give his dumb older brother the evil eye. Mammon is tired of waiting and seizes his chance to yank your knees apart. By your own admission, you can’t fight the strength of a full grown demon.
“You’ve got two legs, there’s plenty a room for two demons here.” There isn’t exactly much space, but Mammon lays his head back on your thigh and grins up at you, bumping his noggin against Belphegor in the process.
Ah. You realize this was his goal and Mammon was just being too stubborn to come out and say it.
Your face grew hot. It felt weird to manspread with two doting demons on your legs. “You really could have phrased that better.”
“Whatddya mean?”
You sigh. “Think about it.”
Belphegor exhales again, probably laughing under his breath this time as he re-adjusts his arm to a cozier position.
Mammon is content just to admire you from below until he connects the dots, and a deep red blush spreads across his face. He turns, winding his arms around your back to better hide his face in the folds of your shirt.
He closes his eyes against you, his nose brushing against your side. “I don’ wanna think ‘bout anything. I work too hard, just lemme rest here a while.”
You allow it, ruffling his hair knowing full well you coddle both of them too much.
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