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laurenmm62017 · 3 years

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Codywan Week Day 2~

The prompt I chose was AU.

I've been meaning to write an Aikido AU at some point in my writing career, and it's finally time!

Aikido (合気道) is a traditional Japanese martial primarily focused on protecting yourself as well as your opponent. It is defensive, non-competitive, and focuses a lot more on spirituality, depending on your dojo (school).

Something about the way both Aikido and Soresu are both defensive really sits right with me lol

I've done aikido for 13 years and recently received my 3rd degree black belt certification (sandan 参段), so this AU really means a lot to me and truly hope you enjoy it! If you have any questions, feel free to DM me or whatever~

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32849761

@codywanweek

Summary: Obi-wan loved practicing aikido. Something about the way that he is able to subdue opponents much larger while also being able to protect that person from harm was very attractive to him. While training with visitors from New Zealand, he meets one of the most interesting and attractive people he has ever met.

Obi-wan took a deep breath in, extending his energy from his fingers reaching up down his arms, to his center, then exhaled and brought his hands down his body to his toes. He repeated this motion three times along with the rest of the class.

“Alright, class, line up!” The lead instructor, Mace Windu, called out.

The younger and less experienced students lined up in the back, while the higher ranked students, like 4th black belt Obi-wan, lined up at the front. Everyone settled into a kneeling position, and looked forward to the picture of O-Sensei, founder of their martial art, then bowed to Mace.

“I have a small announcement before we close class. Next class, we will be having a few aikido practitioners from New Zealand to practice with us. They are from a dojo that practices a different style, and may do certain techniques differently than we do, so please pay attention to what they do, and be careful when you train with them. Sometimes they have… a more aggressive approach. But, just remember that your style of aikido is different from theirs as well. This will help you both learn communication and cooperation. Any questions?”

No one raised their hand, so Mace dismissed class. Obi-wan led the closing bows and then allowed the children to exit the mat while those wearing hakama began to take them off, while others began to clean up the dojo around them. One of the younger students, Zatt, ran over to him and began asking him the usual round of questions.

“Who are the new students, do you think Obi-wan?”

“I have no idea, Zatt. We will find out on Friday, hm?”

“But that’s two days away! How long do you think they will be here?”

“Well, most people stay to practice for at least a few classes, so I would say we will see them at least a few more times.”

“Wizard! What do you think they’ll be like?”

“I haven’t the faintest, my dear. Hopefully there will be someone your age to practice with.”

Obi-wan smiled as Zatt jumped up and down in excitement, then ran off to get changed and go home.

“Obi-wan.” Mace called from his office near the back of the dojo. Obi-wan finished folding his hakama, then entered Mace’s office and closed the sliding door.

“Yes, Sensei?”

“The sensei of the group that is coming is a very close friend of my master, but I’ll be a bit busy while they are here, so if you are able to, I’d like for you to take them around the city the day after practice.”

“Of course, Mace. It’s the weekend, so I won’t have anything scheduled.”

“I appreciate it, Obi-wan. I’ll see you in a couple days.”

“Have a good night, Mace.”

The next lesson, Obi-wan arrived 20 minutes early to the dojo, hoping to get to know the visiting practitioners before actually practicing with them.

After he bowed at the entrance of the dojo, he straightened up and spotted two of the visitors. They were already dressed in their gi and hakama, warming up a little bit near the edge of the practice mat. They were both fairly tall, had short black hair, and sharp features. As soon as he entered the dojo, they paused and stood up straight.

“Hello there! You must be part of the visiting dojo!”

“Yeah, that’s right!” They seemed a little nervous?

“Pleasure to meet you! I’m Obi-wan Kenobi, part-time instructor here at the dojo.” He introduced himself and gave a short bow.

“I’m Wyatt Fett, and this is my twin, Baron. Our dad and older brothers are talking with Windu-Sensei right now. We’re, ah, just warming up before class. They take care of the “ambassadoring”, we’re just here to practice aikido.” Wyatt grinned and they both gave short bows to him.

“Understandable. I’ll speak with Mace in a bit. It was nice to meet you two. I’ll be right back.” Obi-wan bowed, and then walked over towards the changing rooms, listening to the two of them bicker. Something about being a type?

He placed his duffel bag on one of the higher shelves to leave room for the children. Just as he turned his phone to silent, the men’s bathroom door banged open, making him jump and almost drop his phone. He whipped around to see who made such a racket, but he only caught the sight of his back and a green belt around his waist.

“Hm… must be one of the visiting students. The teacher’s son?” He thought, before checking his phone one last time.

He finished up and exited the changing rooms to join Mace with the visiting teacher, a stern, older looking man, and two younger men. The older man was slightly taller than Obi-wan, still in street clothes. His face was stern, but he had smile lines around his eyes that softened his face, and dark hair with a few white hairs barely visible.

The younger looking of the boys… men? Had blonde hair, a little bit of baby fat stubbornly clinging to his cheeks, and was already dressed in his gi and hakama.

However, Obi-wan’s eyes were drawn to the older looking one. His hair was longer on top than the sides, pulled back in a small ponytail. His face was sharp, but somehow kind, and he had a wicked scar that curled around his left eye, and bright gold eyes that he shared with the other two men. But this man’s eyes seemed to bore right into his soul, making him a bit flustered.

“Ah, Obi-wan. Good to see you. I’d like you to meet Jango Fett, head instructor of the Aikido of New Zealand, Auckland branch, along with his assistant instructors, and his eldest sons.”

“I’m Cody, and this is my younger brother, Rex.” The slightly taller one, Cody, gave a short bow and a sheepish smile.

“We’ll be in your care during our trip. I hear you’ll be showing us around tomorrow?” Jango asked.

“Yes, that’s right. After class, could we all exchange numbers and arrange a time and place to meet?”

“That sounds wonderful.” Jango glanced at the clock and his eyes widened. “We should get ready for class.”

“Of course. Right this way.” Mace escorted Jango towards the changing rooms, leaving Obi-wan with Rex and Cody.

“So, have you gentlemen gotten used to the time difference yet?” Nice, Kenobi, thrilling conversation.

“We’ve only been here about a day so far? We don’t actually travel outside of New Zealand often, still getting used to waking up in the past.” Cody joked, making all three of them laugh.

“I can imagine. Well, I hope you will gain a bit of energy in the ten minutes we have before class starts.” Obi-wan smiled, and exited the office, onto a much more crowded mat than it was five minutes ago.

“Obi-wan! Obi-wan! I made a new friend!” Zatt shouted gleefully, dragging the young boy that he saw in the changing room behind him. “This is Boba! He’s from New Zealand!”

Obi-wan looked down at Boba who looked away from him and pouted.

“Hello, Boba. Welcome to our dojo. I hope you have fun with Zatt and the other students today.”

“Thanks.” Boba mumbled and then promptly pulled away to be introduced to others at their dojo.

Cody came up next to him with his hands on his hips. “I’m glad Boba is making friends.”

“Yes, the children have been very excited to meet you all.” Obi-wan chuckled.

“And you?”

Obi-wan raised an eyebrow, and turned to look at Cody, who simply smiled and waited for a reply.

“We’ll, I’m certainly looking forward to it.”

Mace opened their class with an introduction of their visitors and then moved onto warm up exercises. Obi-wan tried his best to pay attention, but he has done these exercises a thousand times and he was easily distracted today.

Like most men, Cody didn’t wear a shirt under his gi, so every so often, Obi-wan caught a glimpse of what was underneath.

On accident! Obviously.

Warmups ended and they all paired up for the rest of the class.

“If one person from our dojo and one person from New Zealand can practice together, please do that. If not, try to partner with someone close to your height.” Mace called out to the class.

Obi-wan glanced around and immediately spotted Cody glancing at. He smiled and walked over to him.

“Care to practice together? I’ll have to help out with demonstrating with Mace, but I’d love to practice with you.” Obi-wan smiled, and bowed his head, which Cody eagerly returned.

Practicing with Cody was exhilarating. They matched speeds perfectly, every attack and deflection was completely in sync. The rest of the dojo fell away and focused solely on the two of them and their space. The feeling of Cody’s hands and body on his wrists, his neck, holding him down, during pinning techniques was the best feeling he’s felt in a long time. Every time he executed a technique against Cody, he literally flew through the air and hit the mat with a thud that echoed through his entire body. And whenever it was Cody's turn, Obi-wan’s skin burned wherever he made contact; he felt like he could see an outline of his hands on himself, but maybe he was just tired. He never wanted this class to end.

Of course, right as he was thinking that, Mace clapped his hands twice and called out, “Line up!”

Cody and Obi-wan reluctantly bowed to each other, then separated. Obi-wan went to the front of the mat, and Cody went to line up with the rest of his dojo.

“I want to thank our visitors for practicing with us. They will hopefully be able to attend a couple more classes next week, but in the meantime, everyone please thank them for joining us.”

“ARIGATOU GOZAIMASU!!” All of the children screamed, and the adults of the class followed it with a more calm version.

Class ended and various students began shuffling off the mat to grab a variety of cleaning supplies to tidy up the dojo. Obi-wan grabbed a rag and began to clean the shomen, where O-Sensei’s picture hung. Their guests from New Zealand tried to grab things to help, but were told off by the children that they were guests and “It’s our responsibility!”

Obi-wan snickered and smiled at Cody, who shrugged helplessly and began taking off his hakama alongside his brothers and began to get ready to leave.

Once the dojo was clean, Obi-wan finally took off his own hakama and gathered his belongings.

Cody and Rex were waiting right outside the dojo for him.

“Excited for tomorrow, gentlemen?” Obi-wan asked.

“Yes, very much so.” Cody smiled, pulling out his phone.

The three of them exchanged numbers with Obi-wan promising to meet them in front of the dojo at 9am the next morning.

“Tomorrow will be a great day, I’m sure of it.” Rex butted in and patted Cody on the back.

“Excellent! I will see you all tomorrow, then.” Obi-wan smiled.

A good day, indeed.

#codywanweek2021 #codywan #commander cody #obi wan kenobi #Day 2 AU #aikido

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thought-42 · 4 years

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Clone Wars Fic Day Three

Today in the pointless modern au: Obi-Wan goes skating! And then he goes to a hospital! A fun Friday night for everyone. (also listen sometimes Easter falls in March) Part One

Part Two

Obi-Wan goes to the Starbucks team building mandatory fun skating night with full intentions of being present just long enough to cement his willing and enthusiastic participation. He can think of minimally six better things to be doing with his time on a Friday night, and he's only going because their manager had overheard Quinlan mocking the whole production and Obi-Wan had been caught in the fallout.

"Don't worry," Quin says, yanking the laces on his rented skates tight with a grunt, "I'll catch you if you fall."

"I'm perfectly capable of skating, thank you," Obi-Wan says primly. He's brought a pair of skates that he'd found in Qui-Gon's storage room, and wishing fervently that he had just spent the money to rent. The skates are stiff and rusted and slightly too small.

"Hey, I have actually been skating in the past six years and I'm not confident in my ability to stay on my feet," Quin says. "I'm just saying, there's no shame in falling."

Obi-Wan stares at him. Quin sighs. "Ok, there's a little shame. This is what I get for trying to be a supportive friend."

Obi-Wan gets out on the ice with only a slight wobble, and he and Quin take to one of the trails leading away from the main rink to attempt to distance themselves from the rest of their coworkers, all of whom have clearly pregamed with no thought to the consequences.

There are fairy lights strung up in the trees, and aggressively upbeat pop music being piped in from somewhere. Obi-Wan focuses on keeping himself poised and steady, only swerving to avoid the occasional small child. He hasn't skated since he was a teenager, and it doesn't so much come back to him as he watches the people around him, emulates what they do, and doesn't fall down.

"Probably," Quin puffs out from ahead of him, "this is supposed to be romantic or charming or peaceful."

Obi-Wan, who can already feel his feet aching and is currently passing through a swarm of yelling children and their equally loud parents, says "You simply have no appreciation for the subtler, more sophisticated pleasures in life."

They make it down the trail, back up, across the rink, through smalltalk with the other staff, and to the edge of the rink before Obi-Wan's luck and/or skill fail him. An elderly man steps out onto the ice and teeters alarmingly, one arm flailing out to keep his balance. Obi-Wan's hands go forward to help and his head jerks back to avoid the waving limbs and suddenly he's staring up at the night sky and gasping for breath and his ankle is twisted up under his body in a way that shouldn't be physically possible. He uses the snowbank along the edge of the rink to haul himself first to kneeling, then, cautiously, to standing. Nothing feels particularly stabbed, so he thinks it's safe to say that he managed not to land directly on his blade. His ankle, on the other hand, stabs a bolt of pain up through his whole leg so sharp that he feels his stomach lurch. He stumbles onto the snow, and then over to a bench, swearing mentally because there are really just an unnecessary number of children about.

"Shit," Quin says, clearly less concerned with strangers' disapproval. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine," Obi-Wan says. "But I think that's quite enough skating for one night."

"Yeah," Quin says. "I'll get our boots. I needed to head out anyway."

"Thank you," Obi-Wan says, uncharacteristically willing to accept the unnecessary kindness. He undoes his skates and pokes gingerly at his ankle. The pain when he touches it is white hot and sharp, but nothing looks blatantly out of place, which is better than he was expecting.

Quin drops his boots and guards in front of him, already wearing his own, skates obviously returned. "Are you sure you're ok?"

"Yes," Obi-Wan says, waving him off.

Quin looks unconvinced, but at Obi-Wan's reassuring smile he relaxes. "Ok. Well, I'm off to get fucked up with some old ladies for Easter Bingo, wish me luck."

Obi-Wan stares. "I'm really not sure *what* to wish you for this occasion."

Quin winces. "Yeah, I honestly have no idea what I'm walking in to, but I've been assured there'll be sherry and at least one other person under seventy. And how could I possibly refuse an offer like that?"

Obi-Wan chuckles. "Please do feel free to send updates as your evening progresses."

He waits until Quin is gone to stand up, just in case, and is glad he did when he has to catch himself on the back of the bench, shifting all his weight onto his uninjured ankle quickly.

"Well," he says under his breath. "This is inconvenient." He forces himself away from the rink, glad as he gets further away from the lights and crowd as he staggers along, swearing no longer kept inside his head. The footpath to the parking lot is slippery, and he almost falls again. Once he's gotten across the parking lot it's only a block to the bus stop. Practically nothing. Walking it off is probably the best thing he can do, anyway.

He's almost through the parking lot when he slips and has to catch himself on the back of someone's truck. Headlights flare in the dark behind him, and he hears a group of people coming up from the path, jovial and loud. He braces himself for his next step, sucking in air between his teeth.

"Obi-Wan?"

He freezes. It's not anyone he works with, but the voice is still definitely familiar.

"Obi-Wan! I wasn't sure if it was you, sorry. Were you skating?"

It's Rex's brother Cody standing behind him, all bundled up in a sensible parka and gloves, bright green hat tucked down over his ears and skates slung over his shoulder. He looks unforgivably happy.

"Yes, hello, I was," Obi-Wan says. His own skates are jammed awkwardly into his backpack along with his tablet and travel mug and three books and a bag of clementines he keeps forgetting to take out, and the weight is doing his balance no favours. He attempts to straighten up and has to bite down hard on his lip to stifle a gasp of pain. Even the brief moment of stillness has somehow made moving newly painful.

"Are you alright?" Cody asks, sharply.

"Fine, yes, just had a bit of a fall on the ice," Obi-Wan says, projecting gentle self-effacing amusement as hard as he can. "A bit of a sore ankle I've been walking off."

Cody frowns. "That seems like the exact opposite of what you should be doing with a hurt ankle. Can I help you to your car, at least?"

Obi-Wan waves him off, and forces himself to stand up straight. "I'm just going to the bus stop down the way," he says. "It's very close, I'm quite alright."

"I can drive you to whatever clinic you're going to," Cody says.

"That's very kind, but I'm quite alright. A good night's sleep and I'm sure it won't even hurt." He means to illustrate this by walking calmly away, but instead he stumbles over a chunk of ice that's fallen off the nearby truck and in catching his balance puts all his weight down hard on the offending ankle. The edges of his vision go hazy for a moment, and suddenly Cody is there, arm going around him to support his weight and steady him.

"Yeah, you definitely seem fine," he says. "If you don't want me to drive you, is there someone I can call? Qui-Gon?"

"Good God, absolutely not," Obi-Wan says, aghast. "I really am fine, just a bit of a stumble--"

"Oy! Codes, what're you doing over there? It's bloody cold out here!" a young voice shouts from across the parking lot.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm sure you're suffering," Cody calls back. "Listen, Boba, can you get a ride with dad? I've just met up with a friend and I'm going to give him a lift."

"That's fine," another voice joins in. "I'd be happy to drive forty-five minutes out of my way, thanks for volunteering me, son, you were always my favourite. Don't mind me, just a tired old man..."

"Cheers," Cody says, sunnily, and begins hustling obi-wan down the row of cars to a tiny Prius.

"Truly, there's no need for a clinic," Obi-Wan says, half falling into the car.

"mmhm," says Cody, texting intently with one finger. It's possibly more painful than the ankle having to watch his slow progress.

The phone vibrates a few seconds later, and Cody nods. "Kix says you should get a doctor to take a look."

"Fucking pardon me?"

Cody shrugs, tosses his phone in the cup holder, and starts the car.

They get stuck waiting a good two hours before anyone will see Obi-Wan, but he takes a few Tylenol and pulls out his tablet when it becomes clear Cody doesn't plan on forcing smalltalk.

About an hour in to their wait, his phone buzzes in his pocket and he pulls it out, hoping for ridiculous photos from Quin, but it's Anakin's name that graces his lock screen.

'did you seriously break your ankle'

"Really?!" Obi-Wan hisses, then types back

'It's not broken, Anakin. Sprained, at the most. How did you find out?'

'Rex told me', Anakin says, and then, 'don't worry I texted qui-gon'.

'You absolutely did not.', obi-Wan responds, a pit opening up in his stomach. Before Anakin responds, a different thread pops up on his screen. It's Tahl, this time.

'Obi-Wan! Which clinic are you at? Have you been seen yet?'

Furious, Obi-Wan types back. 'I AM FINE, DO NOT BLOODY COME TO THE Clinic I ASSURE YOU I AM AN ADULT.' He sends it in capslock because he knows she's at a library fundraiser dinner and will be using her braille display to text under the table instead of the screenreader on her phone, so the full effect of his rage will be appropriately communicated.

beside him, Cody says "You're not secretly on the run from your family, right?"

"Excuse me?"

"Rex may have... gotten ahead of himself in sharing information."

"I'm already aware," Obi-Wan sighs. "If Qui-Gon's wife skips out on work to come sit in a chair beside me in a waiting room I'll never hear the end of it, but no, I have no serious problem with them knowing. And calling them my family may be a bit of a stretch."

"I'm just going to let that one pass," Cody says, briskly. Obi-Wan's name gets called, finally, and Cody stands to offer support before Obi-Wan can stop him. Deciding his dignity will take a harder hit if he has to stumble his way across the room, he accepts Cody's assistance. The nurse doesn't seem interested in offering her own help, nor does she seem concerned that Cody is accompanying Obi-Wan into the exam room.

Obi-Wan scrambles, undignified, onto the bed, paper crinkling under him. Cody glances around uncertainly, shifts towards the door, then shakes his head, straightens his back, and sits down in one of the two extra chairs in the corner. Obi-Wan thinks perhaps it would be rude to ask him to leave, and there's no particular reason to do so. Perhaps it will even be helpful if Cody hears from a medical professional that he hasn't fucking broken his ankle.

"It's a hairline fracture," the doctor says. Cody arches an eyebrow. Obi-Wan glares. "Keep weight off of it for a few days, then slowly start increasing use. Nothing intense for the next two months, and if you even suspect the pain is getting worse or something doesn't feel right, come back right away. This isn't serious, but it could be if you don't take care of it right."

Cody's eyebrow, unencumbered by the laws of physics, gets higher. Obi-Wan is going to break his face and nobody will believe him when he explains that it was justified.

Humiliatingly, the doctor gives the proscription and care instructions to Cody.

Back in Cody's car, Cody says "We can drop this off at the pharmacy and pick up a few ice packs while we're there."

"Oh, no, no, you don't need to worry about-- what makes you think I don't have icepacks? Or at least ice. Frozen vegetables. I am an adult, contrary to what everyone this evening seems to think."

Cody pulls out of the parking stall and clicks the dial to connect his phone to the car's bluetooth. "Well, do you?"

Obi-Wan glares. "There's plenty of snow and ice built up on my balcony, and I have a plastic bag full of plastic bags like any respectable human."

"what's your address?" Cody says.

Obi-Wan says, "I'm fine, honestly--"

Cody coasts to a stop at a red light and types out a text so quickly Obi-Wan wonders for a moment if he'd imagined it. "Never mind, I'm asking Anakin," Cody says. Obi-Wan slumps in his seat.

#Obi Wan Kenobi #Commander cody #Codywan #tumblrfic tag #star wars why?

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theabominableblogger · 7 years

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Rewatching “Attack of the Clones”

Why yes, I am doing this. Because why not?

My apologies in advance because this post is so long...

*starts singing the Star Wars theme*

ARMY OF THE REPUBLIC!

OK, now you it’s a bad sign when they pan up.

They did it in Rogue One but I’m excusing that movie because it’s awesome

“There was no danger after all.” Bullshit, Typo.

*Corde dies* AND THEY BLOW YOU UP! BOOM!

Wait, there’s an Imperial siren going off in the background.

PLO KOON!

Barriss!

Sly Moore!

LUMINARA!!!

Plo Koon’s prosthetics look terrible in the movies

Is that Uncle Ono from TCW in the hologram?

*starts imitating Ki Adi Mundi when he says “He’s [Dooku] a political idealist, not a murderer.” *

Fun Fact: the guy who plays Ki Adi Mundi is the Ood in “Doctor Who.” Mind blown.

I hate Obi-Wan’s mullet in this movie.

Obi-Wan’s like “freaking get me outta here” when Anakin compliments Padme

You can tell how much makeup they put on Natalie Portman in this scene.

“It’s overkill, Master.” Obi-Wan’s the kill master...

“She hardly even recognized me...” God dang it, Anakin.

*Jango Fett hands off the assassin centipedes* God the green screen...

She [Padme] has the most unnatural sleeping position

Man, I feel bad for all the actors in the prequels.

How is R2 asleep and not hearing those bugs??

Fun Fact: the SFX team used grapefruit to make the noises of the centipedes

OK, you’d be able to feel a bug crawling up your arm.

Imagine if Anakin freaking beheads Padme instead of the centipedes?

Cue end music.

“Stay here!” BUT I...

Anakin, just fly freaking straight!

Gotta dramatically take my face cover off...

“I hate it when he does that.”

Which implies Anakin has done this before...

Anakin climbing on top of the bounty hunter’s airspeeder is almost exactly like Kanan on top of Fenn Rau’s ship in “The Protector of Concord Dawn“ except Kanan doesn’t lose his lightsaber.

OUR RIDE’S HERE!

Here’s a challenge: try to identify all the freaking alien species in this Coruscant bar

Must be a Halloween party going on...

Did she just say “sleamo?”

Yep, I think she’s dead, Anakin.

SHAAK TI!

Yeah, you’re [Jedi Council] gonna let this horny 19 year old Padawan escort the love of his life back to her home without anyone else to help out.

GREEN SCREEEEEEEENNN!!

*Padme tells Jar Jar to fill her place in the Senate while she’s away* Nooo....

The window cleaning droids!

Those are some huge ass robes on Anakin

Oh my God, Anakin...

“Sorry, m’lady.” *groans*

I didn’t realize Padme’s handmaiden was crying! Now I feel sad now!

OK, they can tell Anakin’s a Padawan: he has his braid still in! At least bobby pin in so that it blends in!

YOU WANNA CUP OF JAWA JUICE????

I freaking love this scene between Dexter and Obi-Wan. Shut up.

Ewan McGregor’s got a little dimple or something on his forehead and I can’t stop looking at it.

“Hey, no droids! Get out of here!” says a droid

Padme just really likes wearing doilies in this movie.

AN: Heads up, we’re only fifty minutes in at this point.

“We are encouraged to love.” That’s a really loose interpretation, Anakin.

Take a shot every time Anakin says something really creepy about Padme in this movie.

*Obi Wan talks in the youngling class* [gasp] Imagine if one of them is Kanan?

I don’t know whether or not he was an Initiate at this point.

*goes to consult the “Last Padawan” comic*

Wow, sudden scene change within a sentence!

SIO BIBBLE!

OH MY GOD, ANAKINNNNNNN....

The voice of Lama Su (Anthony Phelan) is so cool.

I DON’T LIKE SAND. IT’S COARSE AND ROUGH AND IRRITATING AND IT GETS EVERYWHERE.

*DEEP INHALE*

There was literally no point to that scene other than to give Anakin and Padme an opportunity to kiss.

*whispers* One of those clones is Rex....

So many freakin’ CGI clones...

And now a picnic...

“They [Jedi mind tricks] only work on the weak-minded.” That’s a compliment, Padme.

“I’d be much too frightened to make fun of a Senator.” But I am anyway!!!

*Anakin rides one of those living potatoes* Behold, the Chosen One.

*Anakin falls off* SO FAKE!!!

*Anakin and Padme roll around* They’re not even on a hill!

*deep inhale*

I love how they got the same kid who played Boba Fett here back to play Boba in TCW

What’s with these weird close ups?

*Jango tells Boba something* Please someone teach me how to speak Mandao’a.

Damn, look at the cuts on Jango’s face.

Apparently, George Lucas told Hayden Christensen and Natalie Portman to improvise in the “aggressive negotiations with a lightsaber” scene but it went really NSFW really quick so they had to stop after the “negotiations with a lightsaber” line.

God, why does Padme wear that halter dress in THIS scene?

There is no reason why she should have changed from the previous scene.

God, you can tell how nonexistent the chemistry is.

“I’m haunted by the kiss you should never have given me.” Well wait a minute, you kissed each other back and Anakin initiated it!

“My heart is beating, hoping that kiss does not become a scar.”

*GRIMACES IN IMMENSE PAIN*

God, Anakin, do you have to be so ANGRY?!?

WHY DOES PADME NOT SAY ANYTHING?!?

“You are asking me to be rational.” YES, BE RATIONAL!!

*groans* The dialogue in this freaking scene...

So they kinda vaguely wrap up the whole Sifo-Dyas C-plot in TCW but even then, we’re like WTH?

*Yoda says the Jedi can’t use the Force* That’s like saying the Pope can’t talk to God.

“Jedi don’t have nightmares.” Lies.

“I have to help her.” *groans*

Slave I!

Obi-Wan, that lightsaber is your life.

Oh my God, the green screen!

Sorry, Obi-Wan, you would have no arm left after that stop.

Jango freaking bumped his head on the door...

What is with Padme’s costume here?

What is this explosion disc thing Jango uses to try to get rid of Obi-Wan?

*in best young Boba Fett voice* GET ‘IM, DAD, GET ‘IM! FI-YAH!

Just a random thought: what do the clones in TCW think of the Fetts?

I love this shadow shot of Anakin and Padme saying goodbye.

This is “Duel of the Fates!” Why is it playing here?

Unless they’re referring to the fact that Anakin’s fate changes whether or not his mother is alive or not. That sort of thing.

How do the Separatists not know Padme is still alive? Unless Anakin does such a good job at hiding Padme on Naboo and Tatooine...

“The banking clan will sign your treaty!” *in best alien voice* ALSO I GOT MY HEAD STUCK IN A CAR DOOR!

This staccato music here when Anakin sneaks into the Tusken Raider camp is actually kinda cool.

The ten-second mother-son chemistry between Hayden Christensen and Pernilla August is probably the most compelling thing in this movie.

This music though.

Oh my God, the way Mace sits down!

OK Anakin, explain this body [Shmi’s corpse].

“OK, Hayden, just glare at the screen. There ya go.”

“I’m good at fixing things.” You know what you have to fix though? Your mental state.

What is this hippie dress Padme’s wearing?

“I killed them.” Did you kill them all?

“I killed them all.” They’re all right, right?”

“They’re dead.” Oh, so just the men.

“Not just the men.“ Oh, but like the old men?

“But the women-” What?!? But not the children!

“-and the children too.” But they’re people!

“They’re like animals! And I slaughtered them like animals!” But you don’t hate them!

“I hate them!”

“To be angry is to be human.” To kill Sand People divine.

Anakin is the worst friend ever. His father figure is being held captive, and what does he do? Listen to the Council like a sissy.

Oh my God, freaking Jar Jar, no...

Why does Obi-Wan’s ray shield cell spinny?

Wait, I forgot Dooku trained Qui-Gon!

“Dellow felegates.” *immediately slams head on desk*

Oh my gosh, pterodactyls!

“I love democracy. I love the Republic.” I love it.. so much!

“I’m not a freaking goblin.” says the freaking goblin.

*Anakin and Padme sneak through a tunnel on Geonosis* This is like “The Great Mouse Detective,” where Basil and Dawson go through the sewer pipe to get to Ratigan’s lair.

When I was little, I used to be able to imitate and time the smashing machine on the assembly line.

*3PO gets into a mess* Just... erase this whole gag entirely.

*rolls eyes loudly*

How did Anakin not see that mechanical arm swinging toward his face?

Ani, you have no arm at this point.

Imagine if Padme gets burned by lava.

None of the original trilogy happens. Cue end credits music.

“Not again. Obi-Wan’s gonna kill me.”

*in best Obi-Wan voice* I hate it when he does that.

“I thought we weren’t going to fall in love.” WHO D’YOU THINK YOU’RE KIDDING/ HE’S THE EARTH AND HEAVEN TO YA!

My love for Obi-Wan’s snark in this scene knows no bounds.

*Geonosians cheer when the Separatists cheer* Heck yeah, I’d cheer for Christopher Lee too!

“She [Padme] seems to be on top of things.” But not on top of Anakin yet.

[I am forcibly removed from the fandom]

*starts imitating the nexu*

Wait, isn’t that big mantis crab thing from Ryloth?

Wait, nevermind: the acklay are from some planet called Vendaxa.

*Padme lands in the saddle* Sorry, you’d have no kids after that landing.

*starts imitating Nute Gunray saying “Jango! Finish her off!” *

*The Jedi invade the gladiator arena* HECK YEAH!

*starts naming off all the Jedi because I can*

GREEN SCREEN!

This whole scene was filmed on a green screen.

There was no point to that flip, Mace.

*Mace hits that rhino thing* NOOOO!!!!

*Jango kills the rhino* NOOOO!!!

Boba’s in the corner like “Whaat? My dad just died??”

Kit Fisto’s smile. Oh my God.

*3PO makes jokes while being dragged back to his appropriate body* [groans] Just... kill me...

AAYLA SECURA!!!

*Ki Adi Mundi helps Kit Fisto onto the clone trooper ship* Whaddya bet Ki Adi Mundi and Kit are like best buds?

What language is the Geonosian language based on?

“We must get the Star Destroyers back into space.” When did your voice change?!?

“If they [the Jedi/the Republic] find out what we are planning to build, we are doomed.” Circle inside of a circle?

*Dooku flies to his ship via speeder* The Hoveround takes me where I wanna go...

What is this shaky cam zoom on the clones?

“We’re out of rockets, sir.” HOW???

“Don’t let your personal emotions get in the way!” OK, Obi-Wan totally knows that Anakin and Padme are a thing.

Sooo... why was Dooku’s ship halfway across the desert?

Because we needed dramaaa??

GREEN SCREENNNN!!!

My personal headcanon is that the clone that falls off the ship with Padme is Rex.

DOOKU’S FREAKY ASS SMILE!!

*Obi-Wan gets injured* OK, man, get up. You’ve survived worse.

*Anakin destroys the wire for the lighting* DRAMATIC LIGHTING!

THEY’RE NOT EVEN HITTING EACH OTHER!

What is this Force-measuring contest between Dooku and Yoda?

There’s literally no point to it. It’s just Dooku going “My use of the Force is bigger than yours!’

[I am forcibly removed from the fandom]

*Yoda catches the Sith Lightning with his hand* OK, so this is totally unrelated, but in the Star Wars Force Arena game, you can get Kanan as a character, and HE DOES THAT!

FILONI, EXPLAIN!

*Yoda just jumps off the ship* HARDCORE PARKOUR!

Why doesn’t Obi-Wan move himself and Anakin away from the falling pillar? Are they just that injured? Obi-Wan, you just have a cut on your arm and leg; you can move.

ANAKIN AND PADME ARE MAKING OUT RIGHT IN FRONT OF YODA AND OBI-WAN!!!

“Do you believe what Count Dooku said about Sidious controlling the Senate?” He IS the Senate!

Where are all the other chairs?

“Begun, the Clone War has.” Best line in the movie. It’s also the last line in the movie.

Is Mas Amedda just yawning in the background?

Padme is just covered in doilies.

IT’S OVER!

*goes and watches the entirety of TCW*

#star wars #sw #the blogger reacts #attack of the clones #YOU WANNA CUP OF JAWA JUICE????#anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi #padme amidala #jango fett #star wars the clone wars #green screen #heads up it takes forever to get all those screencaps #you're welcome

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