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im-poe-dameron · 2 years

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CELESTIAL SERENITIES

➔CLONE WARS ARC #01: SUCCIDUOUS

a/n: the bitch is back on the obi-wan whore train and i'm dropping yet another series. basically this was built on the plot of a single sex-pollen one shot with this man and i figured why not add "feelings". i started this way back in early 2021 and was unable to finish it and i honestly think this is the longest i've spent on a single smut story. so i hope you enjoy!

this starts directly before the clone wars and will have several arcs to get to the new show.

summary: once friends, now strangers, you come across obi-wan in a place you certainly didn't expect. only for things to go awry a few hours in.

word count: 9.1k+

pairing: obi-wan kenobi x fem!reader (the name astra is used but it's still reader insert)

warnings: explicit AF SO MINORS GO AWAY, cussing, angst, past feelings coming up, sex-pollen, hair pulling if you squint (on both sides), p in v sex, fingering, alcohol consumption, slight rough sex, creampie, gratuitous description of emotions, unhappy ending.

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“I am never getting that drunk again.”

A saying everyone uses for when they’ve consumed enough alcohol to believe they can literally do anything. You wanted to say the whole night was a blur. That you blacked out somewhere between him finding you and stumbling in your bedroom a few hours later. Except you couldn’t get the images out of your head. They remained stuck, burned behind your eyelids, as the lovely ache between your legs began to show with each slight shift you made in bed.

“I’m never getting that drunk again,” you muttered, too exhausted to use your voice fully and already feeling the comings of a hangover. One that would no doubt have you sprinting out of bed to find a bathroom.

Going back to sleep would help. It would rid your mind of the thoughts that seemed to plague it, only the second you closed your eyes...there it was. Like a holofilm on loop it played and played, seemingly clearer each time. The sounds you made when he touched you, how his skin—radiating warmth—felt against yours.

Damn you for even suggesting a change in drinks. The cooler was enough for both of you and yet something came over you—a certain memory of the both of you getting into trouble. Usually with a bottle of alcohol he had managed to steal from his master’s room.

He had a job to do and drinking with a former friend of his was not the way to do it. What seemed like a good idea at the time now felt like a horrible act to wake up to the very next day. Only eventually you’d have to face the music and get on with it. You just wished you had more time to think things through; an explanation to why you took the drink in the first place.

Turning slowly you settled on the bed even further, exhaling until no more air could possibly remain trapped within your lungs. Yet only a few centimeters away lay the very man you might have made a horrible mistake with. Obi-Wan Kenobi, your old friend from back in the day, slept soundly. His chest rising and falling every few seconds, eyelids fluttering to let you know that he was dreaming.

What you would say when he finally opened those eyes...you had no clue. All you really did know was one simple fact and it was this.

You were fucked.

“We really shouldn’t be here.”

You were sipping at some kind of drink that tasted far too sweet for your taste buds, when you heard the unmistakable voice of someone you knew all too well. At first you thought it was a figment of your imagination. That the drink was stronger than you anticipated and yet there he stood, hair a bit longer than the last time you’d seen him and a beard dusted across his cheeks. It still remained him all the same.

Obi-Wan Kenobi.

If you had the time you would have gone over to him; said hello and went about your night. Only that wasn’t the reason you slouched further in your chair, hood covering your face as you sipped at your drink. The thing was...you had the time. You had all night to do what you wished with whoever you wanted, and that was originally your plan. But then—he had to walk in.

Now all you could think about was getting on your speeder and heading home. It would be a pathetic attempt to keep your past in the past and while it would have been nice to catch up. You knew that the second he saw you—he’d pull out the lightsaber that hung at his side. The anger from your previous encounter was not yet distant enough in time for him to have easily forgotten how you left him. How he gave you everything he could have offered you and you slipped out during the night—leaving nothing behind but a piece of your jewelry from the night before.

To leave now would be an impossible option, due to the fact that he positioned himself to watch the doors with ease. You chose instead to walk over to the bar. Melting into the crowd and finding a spot that wasn’t too close and yet still not too far. Why you felt this need to still be close enough to him was beyond you, and it was something you wouldn’t have been able to explain. Ever since you saw him for the first time all those years ago, you’d felt drawn to him—to who he was on the inside.

Not just a Jedi.

Not just a warrior, but someone who held so much more within than he let people see.

Ordering yet another drink without bothering to get the name, you sipped at it slowly and did your best to keep your heart rate down. If what you remembered was true, then he probably knew you were standing there already. Which meant there would no doubt be an altercation with him. You had to get out of there. Escape out the back, find someplace to go and come back later for your speeder, but you couldn’t move your feet.

“Master should I head back?”

Master?

That was certainly a new thing, but of course things in his life would be vastly different from the last time you’d seen him. Focusing on the reddish hue of your drink you attempted to push away every emotion that seemed to resurface. Each one, even more painful than the last. A Jedi is not allowed to form attachments. His words rang in your ears as if he said them aloud mere moments ago, when in fact it had been years.

At first you wondered if he thought that’s why you left. Why you never came back to him, but things had changed since you last saw one another. For the better in his case it seemed. Watching as the boy you assumed to be his padawan walked out of the entrance of the bar, you downed the rest of your drink and fixed your hood to cover the top half of your face.

Getting out of here was your only option. It had to be.

Passing through the crowd, you moved slowly, trying to appear as inconspicuous as possible and you felt the relief wash over your body as you passed him. That is until something latched tightly onto your upper arm; the grip bordering on almost painful. You yanked on them in the hopes that they were drunk and grabbed you by accident, but as your hood dropped back from your face you met the eyes of your captor.

“Dewdrop.” The nickname was like a stab to your senses, lighting your body on fire and cooling the fear you felt seconds before.

You weren’t sure how to go about this. Obi-Wan still held your arm in a tight grip, almost as if he was making sure you were in fact real. That the person who left him stood before him in the flesh and he wasn’t being tricked by the drink that he had just downed. Allowing yourself to relax into his hold, you watched his eyes take in your attire; drink in the sight of you grown up and different.

The both of you may have changed, but behind the calculated exterior you saw nothing but the boy you had once loved.

Falling into ease once more, your lips curled up into a teasing grin. “What’s the matter Obi-Wan? Loth-cat got your tongue?”

“You’re here.” His face held only one expression; the continued disbelief that he was actually holding onto you.

“You sound disappointed,” you said, taking in the sight of how he looked in the low-lights of the bar. “I was on my way out. If you’d prefer me to go—”

“No.” The quickness of his response left you stunned and it looked as though he felt the same way, because he was quickly letting go of your hand. Giving you space to choose whether you wished to stay or go as he leaned back against the bar. A new drink behind him, already replacing his finished one.

You blamed the alcohol that began to work its way through your veins for the reason you found yourself stepping next to him. Taking his drink and sipping at it yourself in order to calm the nerves that jumped under your skin. He caught you—knew you were alive—and now there was nothing to do but talk to him. About what? You weren’t sure. Part of you hoped that he’d keep the past in the past and continue on with talks of now, but another small part of you, almost minuscule, wanted to hear what he had to say.

Wanted to apologize for leaving.

“You look well,” he said, flagging down the bartender.

Coughing from the sting of the drink you nodded—rather awkwardly. “So do you.”

You felt as though all conversation had vanished from your repertoire of skills altogether, because you were floundering for what to say. After so long, a simple conversation seemed impossible, and yet you two had managed once before. The lasting memories of the conversations you held together were still ingrained in your mind. You knew it wouldn’t go back to being that simple—no matter how much you hoped for just that to happen.

Mentally you thanked your cloak for covering the symbol on your arm that would have him recoiling from you in disgust. One you hated wearing for that very same reason. Things had changed; you were no longer the innocent girl he once met on Corellia all those years ago, and he was no longer the padawan who would do anything to become a Jedi.

“What are you doing on Coruscant?” he asked, seeing your fingers tap lightly on the empty glass you held like your life depended on it. You were uncomfortable, that much was obvious.

“Hunting.”

He reared back, eyes blinking from slight shock. “Hunting? What do you—” He caught the meaning before he could finish his sentence. “Bounties?” he exclaimed.

Hiding a snort with a cough you tried not to laugh at the sheer disbelief on his face. “You’re acting as if it’s such a horrible thing.”

“How did you end up in that situation?”

You couldn’t fight the smile any longer, because the way he spoke—his tone, expression—it all showed how concerned he was about what you were doing. If only he knew the truth. Except you figured this was merely a friendly catch up, reminiscing on old things of the past before once more moving on with your current lives. That’s why you smiled, why when the bartender finally arrived you placed an order for the best drink they had.

Were you being hasty and jumping into something you should have stayed away from? It would seem so, but when had either of you let things be?

“The best drink or the most expensive?” The bartender asked, a weary look in his eyes from working all day and night.

Obi-Wan interjected, sliding the credits towards him. “The best tasting one you have.”

You didn’t catch it in time, but you would later when the drink had taken its effect. When things were too far gone to turn back. A small glint briefly flashed in the man’s eyes before fading away seconds later—his head nodding in understanding. Surely it meant nothing. Surely you were being paranoid, just as you were taught to do. Always be wary of your surroundings in order to stay alive.

“I could have paid,” you said, attempting to shake off the nerves. Things were drastically unfamiliar between the both of you, and yet you couldn’t shake the fact that this was still Obi-Wan you were talking to.

The one who you whispered your secrets to on long nights together when the moon was the only light source either of you had. When you had clutched onto one another in order to survive the days as he helped his master in any way he could. All the while keeping you a secret. They say Jedi can’t fall in love, that it was forbidden and yet you were sure that in those moments, he loved you more than a person could show through words alone.

“Bounty hunters don’t make much these days,” he said. “Not if you’re working on your own.”

Fighting the urge to cringe you ignored the way your right shoulder practically burned from the insignia that was attached to the outside of your armor. You wouldn’t allow him to think otherwise of your situation. Not at a time like this. It would only cause trouble for the both of you if he was seen being friendly with a bounty hunter that stood on the opposing side.

“Well I’ll pay you back eventually.”

He smiled briefly. “When you have the credits I will take them.”

“I see you’ve gotten yourself a Padawan,” you said, choosing to stray from the topic of your employment. Admitting it to yourself wasn’t easy, but you didn’t want to leave this moment, didn’t wish to go anywhere else tonight now that he’d caught you in his grasp.

“Anakin yes.”

“That’s quite a tone.” While all the memories you harbored of him were when he was a Padawan himself, you still relished in relearning small aspects about this Obi-Wan. How he ran a hand through his beard as he thought about something, how his voice had deepened with age. “Is he a troublemaker?”

Huffing in laughter, he leaned his hip against the bar to face you better. “Trouble it seems is Anakin’s basic instinct.”

The bartender returned holding two glasses of a cerulean liquid that seemed to practically glitter under the lights of the bar. “Two glasses of Chandrillian Blue ‘439.”

Your eyebrows raised at the familiar name. “Chandrillian Blue. Isn’t that expensive?”

He merely offered a smile, setting the crystalline drink down in front of you. “Consider it a gift for a Jedi and his companion.”

Companion.

The word struck a chord in your chest and you opened your mouth to dispute it when Obi-Wan was taking initiative and raising the glass to his nose to smell the wine. “Thank you.”

“I don’t know if it’s safe,” you said under your breath as the bartender moved back towards the end of the bar. “There—”

“Were you always this paranoid Astra?”

There it was. The name that he had yet to say and that too felt like a bolt of lightning striking across your skin. Nearly sending you stumbling backwards as the pain from your past rocketed through your body. What could you do when he was looking at you as if nothing had changed? The same playfulness in his eyes that you had fallen in love with the first time now shone against the light reflecting in them. Reminding you that no matter how much time passed he was still your Obi-Wan, your love.

Clearing your throat you lifted the glass with reckless abandon and tilted it his way in unison to him before downing it in one go. Normally wine you sipped at carefully, letting the taste of it settle over your tastebuds, but this one you didn’t bother with. This one you drank quicker than you had any other liquid and he followed suit.

Your face screwed up from the bitterness that worked its way down your throat, stinging as it went along. “That’s different from how I remember it,” you said, voice hoarse from fighting the urge to cough your lungs out.

He did the same, exhaling sharply. “Yes.” Coughing he grabbed the glass of water that had been left with the drink, gulping it down before pushing the rest your way to finish off. “Although I haven’t had Chandrillain Blue since…”

That night in the forest.

You looked away, pushing the now empty water glass back to the center of the bar. So he did remember the past as clearly as you did. Normally that would have brought joy to your heart—a celebration that you hadn’t left his mind completely, but this...this short display of normalcy between you left your stomach feeling nauseous. How could you stand there, a member of the enemy’s side, and smile with him over drinks?

How could he love you after this?

Choosing not to worry about that fact, you instead focused on the sight of the bar crowd growing slightly smaller as the night hours waned on. The day would be starting in a few short hours, leaving you with only a limited amount of time to spend with him. You wanted to end it on a good note, so without thinking you stood straight and began to head towards the door. Feeling him watch on after you, the crease in his forehead growing.

“Well?” you asked, lifting your hand out towards him. “You coming?”

It was a bad idea to involve himself in feelings like this, even for just one night, but he couldn’t rid himself of the memories that played in his mind. A newer one resurfacing just as quickly once the others faded back. At one point you were vital to his life. You had been his moon in the sky, all his stars and planets combined. The reason he wanted to breathe each and every day, until you became the reason he wanted to forget.

“Do you have anywhere you want to go?” you asked, fighting the smile from crossing your face as he kept your hands entwined.

He shook his head, watching as airspeeders flew overhead. “A walk?”

“If that’s what you want.”

“Do you want that?” Heading down a fairly deserted street he walked at a leisure pace so as to keep his attention fixated on you.

You shrugged. “I don’t think it matters much. I’m okay with anything.”

“Dewdrop,” he said, that soft tone of his stirring your insides more than you would have liked.

“There’s plenty of places to go Obi-Wan. I don’t mind where we end up as long...as long as I get to spend some time with you.” The danger of those words weren’t lost on you, but it was too late. They’d been said aloud and there would be no taking them back—not that you wanted too.

He nodded, taking the lead and walking through the street, glancing around every few seconds just to make sure. It wasn’t unlike you to do the same. Keep your senses up in case something were to happen, because while Jedi did remain on this planet you still didn’t put your trust in the Order itself. You would never say that to him though.

“Tell me what you’ve been up to these past few years,” you said, tugging on his arm to cease his footsteps.

A slight wave of dizziness had begun to work its way through your body, but you blamed that on the amount of alcohol you drank. It must be taking effect already. That would explain why you felt so warm all of a sudden. Rather than make a big fuss over nothing you simply pulled the hood away from your face, giving your skin some breathing room.

He led you down an emptier street so he didn’t have to yell over the noise of the city. “I became a Knight and a Master soon after we parted ways.”

Gasping you brought your hand to your mouth. “I couldn’t tell.” It was the small tinkling of laughter that made him smile; a sound he didn’t realize he missed so much. “Tell me Master Kenobi, what’s it like teaching such a bright Padawan?”

“I get into trouble more often than I expected,” he replied.

You nudged his shoulder lightly, ignoring the feverish cold sweat that began to break out on your skin. “Don’t be too hard on him. From what I can remember you were quite a bit of trouble yourself.”

“I don’t remember that being true.”

“Oh you don’t remember?” you asked, biting your lip to smother the smile that wanted to show. “So am I just imagining Qui-Gon nearly having a heart attack when you attempted to climb a tree all to rescue a bird?”

He laughed and your heart swooped in your chest as if it was a bird taking flight. “I remember it was you who asked me to save it.”

“You’re right I did,” you said, unknowingly stroking your thumb against his palm. “I never did ask.”

“What?” Obi-Wan nearly faltered as a roaring surge of pain spread across his body, sending his muscles into shock almost immediately. Except he chose to ignore it, shoving the feeling down until he could focus back on you again. After all it was only his body aching from traveling so much.

“Why did you call me dewdrop?” You wanted to blame the alcohol for loosening your lips; allowing things you would have avoided to come out. “I mean—I never understood the—”

“You were underneath a dewdrop tree the first time I saw you.” He could recall it so clearly, the image of you wearing a dress that looked like it originally belonged on Naboo. Standing beneath the crystalline tree that seemed to make you glow and it was then he found himself—for the first time—unable to find the words to speak.

A fond smile crossed your lips, eyes meeting his, as the dizziness formed even further; settling into your bones until the only thing you could focus on was him. This power of a man who held the ability to either break you even further or love you like he once did. Go home. End this night. The warning bells became fuzzy the longer you stood there, the more the alcohol flowed through your veins.

Leave.

You tried to grasp onto that one single word, will your body to walk out of the place you were trapped in. Only you felt stuck. As if the very boots you wore were glued down to this desolate street and while any other time you would have panicked at the sensations that swept through your body, now you felt calm. More at peace than you had felt since you watched him walk into the bar. The bells eventually grew silent, the words fading to the back of your lust addled mind, allowing for something else to set in entirely.

You wanted him. More than you realized.

“Obi-Wan,” you murmured, eyes trailing down his face. Drinking in his features until you settled on the sight of his parted lips. You didn’t notice that he started to breathe heavier, that his eyes were dilated—the blue nearly being swallowed whole by his pupil—or that he too settled on simply staring at your lips.

“Astra,” he breathed, a strange feeling began settling into the very marrow of his bones. One he hadn’t felt since the last time he laid eyes on you and suddenly the image was very clear to him now.

The girl he once loved, nearly gave up everything for, stood before him now as the woman who still held a tight grip on his heart. Shining just as brightly as when he’d seen you last—standing beneath a dewdrop tree.

The dizziness passed—when, you couldn’t remember—only to be replaced by something else. A burning sensation that stemmed from the very core of your body, spreading until you felt like you were surely on fire. Was this merely a dream? Were you being burned alive somewhere and you chose to remain here with Obi-Wan on your last day? You wondered if you were delirious, only you couldn’t tell. You could barely grasp onto a single thought, because all you saw was him.

Watching you with a look that made your skin tingle and your breath catch.

“Would you like a black caf?”

His dazed look vanished for a split second as he came back to his own mind briefly. Long enough to comprehend your words. “I–I’d love one. I’m afraid the alcohol is—” he trailed off, eyes back on you.

“Getting to you?” you asked, forcing your body to take one step back and then another. Eventually it became easier to walk down the street, but the urge to press against him—to remind yourself what kissing him felt like—popped into your head every few seconds.

Caffeine. That would set your mind straight.

If anything it would give you a few moments to figure out what exactly happened in the span of thirty minutes. What did you drink that made your mind suddenly lose all control of your urges?

The both of you fell into yet another comfortable silence with only the sounds of the city echoing around you. A part of you wanted to smile at what was happening. You and him walking the streets of a city once more with no need to speak, because you already knew what would be said. The words were practically ingrained into your souls. Whispered promises that never seemed to pan out. Dreams of loving one another until the galaxy itself fell to ruin.

Neither of you knew that only one of those things would turn out to be the truth.

You were both young. Far too young to realize what giving up things meant and what it was to love so deeply that it felt as if your very soul was torn from your body when it ended. Lessons learned, memories forgotten. An old saying your mother used to say when you were a child made so much sense to you now as you walked beside him.

Years too late.

He followed you into the building you found a room to stay at, his head bowed in thought with every step he took. It came to a point where you began to feel worried he would leave. Forget this ever happened and move on. While it would rip you to shreds, it might be easiest for him. A simple act of revenge for what you had done to him so long ago.

“It’s not the good kind of caf,” you said, startling him slightly. “But it’ll help take the edge off from the alcohol.”

He nodded, eyes wide—almost childlike in his expression—as he entered your room. Truly there was nothing to be amazed at. The bed was a standard mattress found at all hotels on the planet, with a white cover and silver pillows. A table sat near the window with a small lamp placed on top and a comfortable chair if someone wished to work. Extremely mundane for a hotel room that cost far too many credits. Although in your opinion you’d have to say the best part of this place was the shower and the HoloTV.

“The room is…”

“Shitty?”

He smiled, the tension leaving his shoulders slightly. “It’s nice. There’s not much in here though.”

“That’s okay I’m not staying for very long,” you replied. “Just here for the hunt and then…” You were gone.

The realization had yet to set in with either of you. This was it. One night of talking, of spending as many moments together as possible, before you returned to your lives. Him to something far bigger, far more important, and you to a place that saw him as the enemy.

“I wanted to say—”

“Obi-Wan—” Huffing into your cup you tried to fight the smile, but whatever got into your system forced it out. “You go first.”

He took a sip of his drink, glancing out the window at the sight of the city skyline still lit up. It had always been a sight he found comfort in, one he knew to be home, but now...sitting beside you in this too small room he realized that he hadn’t felt whole until he found you in the bar. A missing piece of him now settled back into place and he wished to hold onto it for as long as humanly possible.

Even if only for one night.

“Jedi aren’t supposed to have attachments, but…I fear that I have missed you.”

You weren’t exactly sure how you should take his words, but then almost inexplicably that rush of emotions returned. When it was coupled together with the mess from earlier it made for a dangerous combination. One you would have done everything to fight against, but before you could argue anymore with your mind you were raising a hand to cup his cheek. The soft scratch of his beard felt different against the skin of your palm. A good different you found yourself fond of within seconds.

“Obi-Wan you have no idea…” you whispered, feeling yourself lean into his body. Seeking out the warmth that emitted from him, only heightening the drunkenness of your mind—your body.

This was a mistake.

Possibly the biggest one you would make since leaving him, but nothing could stop you now. Not when your mind had settled on one single thing. You missed him, craved him, loved him through all those years you were away. You blamed the intoxicating way he talked, how he held himself—so grown up compared to the young padawan you once knew—and how he still looked at you as if you were all his stars in the galaxy.

The very moon in his sky.

“My beautiful dewdrop,” he breathed, his lips a hair's breadth from yours and once again the anticipation, the overwhelming rawness of it all, got to you.

Pulling him closer you sealed your lips over his, feeling your stomach bottom out as the heat you’d been pushing down for so long came flooding back into your system. Shoving you forward until you were nothing but a mess of wanton need. You ached for something to quench the fire in your veins and it seemed the cure sat mere inches away.

You half expected him to yank himself away from you. Apologize for what happened and leave, and that’s what shocked you most. He didn’t pull back. Instead he seemed to melt into your touch, sighing into your slightly open mouth as he kissed you back. A hand went to the back of your neck, gripping tightly to keep you in place before he truly started kissing you.

Nothing quite compared to the way he devoured you with his lips. How he kissed you as if he was poisoned and your taste was the antidote he needed to survive. A small sound escaped your throat which he swallowed happily, licking at the bottom of your lip until you were desperate to taste him again. The haze set in over your mind, leaving you victim to the powers of the alcohol just as it did him. There was no more contemplation. No more fighting.

You wanted him, needed him, just as he did you.

Gasping when his tongue slid against yours, you felt his fingers dig into the skin of your neck right when you shoved your hands into his hair. Keeping him in place whilst he explored you for the first time in ages. You could kiss him for an eternity if given the chance, but the fire was spreading quickly. Bringing a surge of uncomfortable pain with it.

“Obi-Wan,” you sighed, tilting your head back to allow his lips to trail towards your neck. Deft fingers unlatched your cloak without your noticing, but you didn’t mind one bit.

Not when it felt this good to be in his hands again.

“Yes?” he asked, scraping his teeth lightly along your jaw and smiling when your body shivered into his touch.

You couldn’t remember him being this sensual and sure about himself. Except that might have been the lust clouding your thoughts the longer you remained there, allowing him to do what he wished with you. It’s when his lips met yours again and his fingers found the opening to strip you of your clothes and armor did you give yourself over to the cloud of mind numbing pleasure.

Each touch replaced the fire with a cooling sensation, giving you relief for the briefest of moments before it was back. Reminding you that only he could satiate the ever growing pain that spread faster than a real flame. Yanking the top of your armor off along with the shirt, you wrapped your arms around his neck, climbing—albeit clumsily—into his lap. A position he was more than happy to accommodate for.

“Every—” he gasped at the feeling of your teeth scraping along his throat. “Every day. I thought about you.”

The haze in your mind spurred your motions, but it was something deeper within you that had you reaching for the tie of his tunic—something carnal buried inside your chest. It begged you to set it free and you were more than willing. Kissing up his neck, you moan when he turned his head to capture your lips in another searing kiss that you swore you felt down to your toes.

Once more, you tugged on his tunic, adamant on getting it off and he seemed to catch on quickly—pulling away from your tantalizing lips to assist you. It wasn’t until your palms connected with his bare chest, did you finally feel satisfied, because beneath his skin you felt the ever so steady beat of his heart. You could remember laying together beneath the dewdrop trees on your home world, listening to his heart beat as he pointed out the different planets in the sky—all the places he wanted to take you.

“I missed you too,” you whispered, sucking on the shell of his ear and smiling when a shudder went down his spine.

How long had he upheld the Jedi code? How long since he felt the intimate touch of another human being?

Pressing against his chest, you pushed him until he moved—laying on his back and looking up at you with wonder in his eyes. The sight of his lips swollen and spit slicked from you biting against them had your walls clenching around nothing. For years you’d imagined what it would be like to see him again. Would he even remember you? Yet there he was, his hands gripping onto your hips as you leaned down closer to take his bottom lip into your mouth, sucking it slowly and pulling at it to hear that soft groan you’d dreamt about.

Letting go of his lip, you kissing his cheek, chin, moving slowly down his body—your lips dragging along every new scar he had acquired since you’d been away. Placing a soft kiss over his heart, you felt the stuttered breath in his chest as he watched you, knowing what this meant for the both of you.

You weren’t the only one who craved to be back in his life, you weren’t the only one who dreamt of the memories you shared together. He had longed for it all the same.

“Dewdrop,” he gasped, his head falling back as you trailed your lips along the edge of his pants—a wrecked moan tearing from his throat.

“My beautiful Jedi,” you cooed, scraping your nails along his sides and smiling when he jolted at the feeling.

He lifted his head, striking blue eyes meeting yours and you felt it. A drastic shift as the steady burning turned into something worse, until you could feel your body begging for some relief. Obi-Wan’s hand grasped onto your upper arm, practically dragging you forward until you were above him. His fingers worked quickly, tearing at your shirt and helping you yank it off until his palm rested on the bare skin of your sternum.

A shuddered breath left your lips, your eyes fluttering shut as he explored the blank canvas of your skin—his fingertips running over your new scars, copying your movements. The simple touches did nothing to satiate the agonizing burn that flooded your veins, but you didn’t give a shit. Not when you hadn’t felt his touch in years—when you had dreamed of this very moment for so long.

“Fuck,” you whined, head dropped forward until your forehead pressed against his. “I—I need.”

“I know, I know.” His voice was hoarse, pupils nearly taking up his entire iris now. “Me too.”

Scrambling for the button of his pants as he did the same to yours, you kissed him. Your tongue sliding against his felt euphoric in a way it never had before and you began to unconsciously grind against the very apparent bulge in his pants. Neither of you had any sense left in your bodies—otherwise this wouldn’t be happening. You continued to wonder if this was merely a dream. Would you wake up alone, stuck in another memory? Obi-Wan sat up, his hand dipping beneath the waistband of your pants as his other one gripped your hair to yank your head back.

With his teeth nipped along your neck and his fingers sliding into your slick, you knew you’d never be able to leave him again. He groaned when he felt how you nearly drenched his hand. “All this is for me?” he asked, breathlessly—almost in utter disbelief.

“Yes,” you whined. “Only you.”

The sound of approval he made had your hips moving faster, grinding against his fingers as something began to build up in your body. You felt the tightening in your stomach the longer he allowed this to happen—happily sucking at the skin above your collarbone. Whether he was in pain or not wasn’t clear to you, but you didn’t have time to dwell on it, because he was shoving you towards the edge of absolute bliss.

“Obi—” Burying your face into his neck, you clawed at his bare back and with every shift of your hips you felt the pleasure mount even higher. “Maker,” you gasped, your eyes rolling back.

“What do you need?” he asked, the pain in his voice prominent.

“More! I need more.” The words came out as a beg, but it spurred his movements.

Within seconds he slid two fingers into you, cupping your chin to drag your lips back to his and swallow the wail you let out. It wouldn’t take you long at all to reach your peak, but something kept you right on the edge—prolonging your pain. Breathing in, you fought against whatever drug had entered your veins, and focused on the man in front of you.

His eyebrows were furrowed, teeth digging into his bottom lip in concentration as he pumped his fingers at a brutal pace. Yet he never looked so beautiful to you. His hair was unruly, some of it falling into his eyes and the sight left you ravenous. The flushed look on his face was enough to have your heart racing even faster, the emotions building right alongside the pressure in your body. With a jolt you realized—you loved him. You would always love him.

“I—” Choking, you felt a shock go through your entire body, white flashing behind your tightly shut eyes while your toes curled at the sensation.

With a triumphant smile, Obi-Wan pressed even harder on the spongy spot along your walls, enjoying the way you practically screamed with every thrust. You could barely move your hips anymore, let alone tell him how you felt. He pressed his forehead to yours, lips brushing along your own as spoke. Only you never figured out what he said, because he had dragged his other hand down—now toying with your clit to shove you right where he wanted you.

A scream tore from your throat, your body shaking as his hand sped up—the echo of your slick filling the room. Pleasure and pain collided and suddenly you couldn’t tell if you were floating or about to collapse. The fire from before faded slightly, simmering beneath the surface. Even though it was far from over. It gave a few seconds of reprieve, the sparks that shot along your skin felt like cold water dousing out the pain. You could feel your lips moving, a chant echoing in the small room and suddenly it hit you.

You were saying his name.

“Obi-Wan,” you breathed, some movement coming back to your body. “I should have never left you.”

He smiled, grimacing as the pain punched him in the stomach—shoving the air from his lungs. “I—I wouldn’t have been able to remain with you. Jedi aren’t…” he trailed off, the sadness in his eyes enough to remind you of a phrase you both knew all too well.

“I know.”

Jedi weren’t able to form attachments and yet this right here would keep the two of you attached for years to come.

It went against the code for so many reasons, but neither of you wished to acknowledge it at this time. You couldn’t. Not when you spent so long attempting to forget about him and everything you could have had together.

Just as you were prepared to get off him, the familiar agony from earlier returned stronger than before, nearly forcing you to double over in pain. Something was in the drink the bartender had given you. You were sure of it. But neither of you could take the time to figure out exactly what, because you were spiraling—gasping for air and wishing that it would stop altogether.

What kind of maddening person took this type of drug just for the sake of taking it?

“Fuck!” you cried out.

Instantly, you fumbled for his pants that hung open around his waist, except it seemed like he was a step ahead of you. Dragging yours down, he moaned loudly when your hand wrapped around his cock. Your mouth parted at the sight of it so red and swollen, almost like he was ready to burst at any moment. It sent a streak of heat down your spine as you came to the realization that this man had probably upheld the Jedi code better than anyone else—especially after you left.

How many years had it been for him since he felt the delicious pleasure of release? How long had he yearned for it? You couldn’t even fathom the answers, because suddenly you suddenly felt empty—the need to be filled by him overtaking your want for logic.

“I need you inside of me.” Getting up on shaky legs, you shoved the rest of your clothes off until they were a pile on the floor, and watched enraptured as he did the same.

There'd be no coming back from this, no way to forget that this ever happened in the future like you’d done before. You didn’t wish to either way.

Something must have shifted in your expression. The want—the desperation for him—cracking the surface of your walls to reveal the emotions you tried so hard to tamper down. He stood, stepping closer to you even though he grimaced with every shift of his body. You were both in pain, both nearing the end of losing your sanity because of this and yet…you still clutched at the last thread of patience. It was your lifeline the longer you watched him.

You knew once you let go—gave into the lust—you’d forget about the worries, about what waking up beside him would be like.

His hand cupped your cheek, drawing your lips to his in a saccharine kiss that invaded your senses. It felt like too much, and yet not enough to satiate the feelings that crept up the back of your neck, reminding you of what you had to lose. His other hand clutched at your bare waist, the groan he let out being swallowed by you as you licked into his mouth. The taste of him, so different from your past, yet eerily familiar.

This was too tender for your reeling mind and it broke your heart to part from him. Only the pain had now reached a point where you couldn’t ignore it anymore. Your knees buckled, a whimper tearing from your throat as he caught you in his hold.

“Obi…”

He nodded, the redness in his neck and face showing you that he felt the same. Except as a Jedi he’d grown used to hiding pain, shoving it all down until he felt numb to it all. He couldn’t do that here. Not when he felt like he’d burst the second you touched him.

A shudder wracked your body when his lips trailed down your throat, intent on hearing you moan for him again, as he helped you shift to the bed. You hit the mattress with a small oof as he followed. Your legs wrapping around his waist felt like second nature, but it was his cock dragging through your soaked pussy that had you digging your face into his neck and begging.

“Oh fuck—Oh Maker that’s so…so amazing,” you managed to choke the words out.

Sparks trailed down your spine as he quickly dragged his hips forward, pressing his swollen head against your clit and groaning when your nails clawed down his back. You could barely get words out, let alone sounds and he wasn’t even inside you yet. Somehow you knew by the end of this you’d be a mess of emotions. But you could care less, because he was lining himself up with your entrance, his head dropping down to your shoulder as he pushed in.

A long dragged out moan tore from your throat at the feeling of him slowly stretching your walls. The fire consumed you entirely, singing your nerves until all you could feel was this. The sting of his cock breaching your entrance while he panted hotly against your neck and whispered praises.

“You feel so good.” He pulled back slightly, thrusting shallowly with each inch he gave you and it was it’s own kind of torture. “Fuck I-I could barely remember our last night…” Cutting himself off with a broken moan when his hips finally met yours, he tried to bring some sense back to his mind.

“Move,” you begged, hand scrambling for purchase on his skin. “Please Obi…fuck I need you to—”

He pulled out, shoving himself back to the hilt and effectively punching the air out of your lungs. A sob echoed off the walls, your walls clenching down so tightly around his cock that he nearly collapsed on top of you. That simple movement snapped your final thread of patience in half. You couldn’t keep holding back the pain, because the antidote was him—this, the continued feel of him thrusting into you with the same ravenous hunger as you.

Moaning unabashedly, you hooked your ankles together behind his back, attempting to draw him in even deeper. Except you weren’t the only one desperate for this. Every snap of his hips against yours was echoed with a growl tearing from his throat, his eyes zeroed in on each expression you made. He watched you with an intensity you didn’t know he had—studied what made you tick with every movement he made. Dipping down, his lips wrapped around your nipple, sucking on it with his teeth to cause your whole body to jolt.

The fire singed your lungs with each breath you took, nearly suffocating you. But that didn’t stop the words from spilling free. You felt your lips move before you could stop them, because he couldn’t know…not like this.

“Obi!” you sobbed, hands digging into his hair to drag his lips to yours. It was a clashing of teeth and tongue as he sped up his thrusts, the head of his cock dragging just right along your walls and drawing a stuttered moan from your lips. “Right there—fuck right…oh—”

“Right there?” he asked, the brief flash of a smug smile showing before he was slotting his lips against yours and groaning into your mouth.

You could feel something begin to build up in your stomach, the tightening of your muscles were simply adding to the painful pleasure. His thrusts stuttered when you clenched around his cock and yet he still continued. Hitting the spot along your walls with enough accuracy to make your toes curl and your eyes to roll back. You wouldn’t last long, but you silently begged for this maddening euphoria to keep going.

“I wanted to stay.” The words slipped free against your better judgment.

His eyes snapped to yours. “What?” he rasped, slowing down until you were digging your nails into the skin of his ass to make him keep going.

“I wanted to—ah—stay with you. I wanted to be with you.”

You weren’t sure how much time went by between you confessing your darkest secret and him reacting, but it felt like mere seconds. A broken moan tore from his chest—his eyes fluttering shut as he kissed you with enough emotion to make your heart shatter. You wanted to be with him, then, now…whenever he would have you. Tears fell into your hair as he continued moving, his hands grasping for yours and shoving them up—pressing them into the mattress.

“I would have gone with you anywhere,” he gasped against your lips—the steady echo of skin against skin and your slick were a steady echo that bounced off the walls. It only made you tighten around him even more. “I’d have given up everything for you…”

A scream left you as those words coupled with the coarse hair around his cock grinding into your clit snapped the pressure inside of you. A flood of absolute bliss filled your trembling body until you couldn’t see straight. Your walls clamped down on his cock, the heat of your pussy driving him to the edge right along with you, causing his hips to stutter. Sobbed out words filled the air, telling him how much you loved him, how you wished things were different.

He returned them with words of his own. Groaning your name against your neck, he finally let go. The warmth of his cum filled you, satiating the fire that began to slowly dissipate and even then you didn’t want him to stop. Even as he remained inside you—his cock twitching each time your walls contracted around him, the combined mixture of your cum together spilling out and coating the tops of his thighs—you wished he would stay. If only things were different, this wouldn’t feel like a mistake when you woke up.

“My love,” he breathed against your throat, his lips kissing along your skin. “My beautiful sweet Astra.”

Even though it wasn’t your true name, being called his star always held you tight in his grasp. You kept the name solely because of him; a reminder of what you couldn’t have—what you gave up. Yet it sounded so sickeningly sweet coming from his lips. Like the aftertaste of his kiss, it was something you clutched against your chest—afraid it would escape you one day.

“I meant what I said.” He stated the words with so much intent, as if he wasn’t still balls deep inside of you and that thought alone made you smile.

“You did?”

He nodded, the soft brush of his hair against your forehead filled your chest with warmth. “I would have given up all of it.”

“Obi-Wan,” you whispered, drawing his eyes up to yours. “I could never have asked you to do that.”

“But—”

“Being a Jedi is who you were meant to be. Our paths weren’t meant to be walked together.” The both of you knew this to be true, but it still didn’t make hearing it any easier.

Rather than discuss something that would bring back the heartache from earlier, you simply kissed him. Feeling the pain begin to lick its way up your body again. It would be a long night and an even longer morning, but some twisted part of you felt safe in knowing you’d get to spend it with him. Obi-Wan, the man who you belonged to the moment you met him underneath that crystalline dewdrop tree all those years ago.

Sighing, you opened your eyes to feel not only an aching in your head—the makings of a hangover starting—but a deep ache in your lower body. For hours the two of you had fucked until you practically passed out from utter exhaustion. Somehow at one point you ended up on the floor, on your knees as he gripped you from behind—the raw skin of your legs telling you enough. Every moment of the night played through your mind as you stared at Obi-Wan, dead asleep beside you.

While the drug in your system had worn off, the feelings still remained prominent. Every word you said, every submission of the truth you set free, all came back to haunt you as guilt filled your veins. There’d be no possibility of staying with him. So, why did you bother entertaining the idea to begin with? No, he’d go back to the Jedi Order—train his padawan and eventually move on with his life. It’s how his life was meant to go.

“Okay…” you whispered. The time to leave was now, before he woke up and demanded answers of what happened last night.

Shifting slowly, you managed to untangle yourself from his arms without waking him—your feet touching the ground as you quickly shoved down every inkling of guilt away. You shouldn’t feel broken about leaving him here again. Even though it was your room, you knew that eventually he’d wake up and go, in need of finding his padawan. Last night was a one time thing and the consequences were something you didn’t wish to bear.

Not now.

You gathered your clothes, silently putting them on and reattaching your cloak, before you took one last look at him. He lay on his stomach, the red scratch marks on his back proof that last night was not a dream, and his hair a mess. You’d never be able to come back here—at least not for a long time. Except it was a risk you were willing to take if it meant finally healing after all the pain you put yourself through. After all, he was a Jedi—a guardian—and that meant more than any love he could give to you.

Leaning down, you pressed your lips to his gently so as not to disturb him. The sting of tears as they fell down your cheeks, reminding you of the last time you did this to him. Rather than leave behind a piece of your jewelry, you left behind a piece of yourself—all the shattered pieces you could no longer carry with you. Their weight had grown too heavy after all these years and you knew…they’d be safe with him.

They say time heals all wounds, but this one you knew would remain bleeding. A fresh reminder of what you could have had.

“I love you Obi-Wan,” you breathed, walking towards the door and drawing the hood back up around your face.

Leaving behind the serenity you’d been searching blindly for your entire life.

#obi-wan kenobi x fem!reader #obi wan x reader #obi wan kenobi x reader #obi wan x you #obi wan kenobi x you #obi wan x y/n #obi wan kenobi x y/n #obi wan kenobi smut #obi wan smut #obi wan kenobi #my writing

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strangeshoepatrolbandit · 1 year

Text

Summary: Your brother fell to the dark side, now you must watch him die.

Warnings: Angst, death, fire, choking,

Did I miss some important parts of his and Padme's talk? Yeah, probably. Do I care? No.

But now, as you ran down to talk Anakin out of the dark side you realized, it was real.

~☆~

You begged for this to not be real. You pleaded with the air, hoping that you would wake up and everything would be normal.

Padme was crying, staring into the eyes of the man that she loved, only to realize that this was no longer her Anakin.

He caressed her, holding her as she too prayed this was a bad dream.

"Anakin, please, this isn't right!" You cried out, hoping that the man you considered a brother would finally show.

"I did this for the both of you." He revealed, smile on his face.

"You, Padme, and our child." He started, staring into her eyes. "And you, Y/N. Now we can all be together, rule the galaxy!"

He took both of you into his arms, pressing you into a suffocating hug. You and Padme made eye contact, tears were leaking from both of your eyes.

Padme pulled back, "You're breaking my heart," She swallowed. "You're going down a path I can't follow!"

"Because of Obi-Wan." Anakins demeanor changed. He was no longer proud of his victory. He was colder, his expression was harder.

"No because of what you've done, what you plan to do!" Padme cried. "Stop- stop now, come back!"

"I love you!"

"Liar!"

Padme was now holding her neck, and Anakins hand was raised towards her. Obi-Wan was yelling, you couldn't hear him, you couldn't hear a thing.

You knew Anakin was yelling but all you could focus on was Padme's unconscious body.

This was no longer Anakin.

You had heard the way he used to go on about Padme. You were the only one to know, the only one they trusted. Padme had rushed to you as soon as she found out she was pregnant, and you urged her to tell her husband, who was more than thrilled. It was all going so well. Things were finally going right in Anakins' life. His wife was pregnant, the war was ending, then.. Palpatine. Anakin was warned.

You looked back up and Anakin and Obi-Wan were gone....Oh Maker...No...

~☆~

You finally made it to Obi-Wan's side, falling down to your knees as you heard Anakin's wails of agony. You attempted to crawl down to where Anakin was writhing. However, your movements were stopped. Obi-Wan was holding you in place.

"You were the chosen one!" Obi-Wan yelled, pain leaking into his words.

"It was said that you would destroy the sith, not join them!" He cut himself off to breathe, "Bring balance to the force, not leave it in darkness!"

Your screaming mixed into Anakins cries. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn't escape the force.

Obi-Wan forced you to stand and pulled you a little further up the hill, stopping so that he could reach down and grab onto Anakins lightsaber.

"I HATE YOU!" Anakin yelled, still writhing in pain.

Obi-Wan stood staring at Anakin, taking in another breath.

"You were my brother Anakin!" He told the dying man, "I loved you."

Anakins screams got louder as flames engulfed his body, the lava finally reaching his cut-off legs. Obi-Wan had to look away, not being able to bear the sight before him. So instead, he looked at you, watching as you attempted to break from the invisible force holding you. He listened as you repeatedly pleaded out against the universe.

Obi-Wan lifted you from the ground again, this time holding you over his shoulder as you tried to reach out for Anakin, him doing the same for you.

"ANAKIN!" You screamed, tears rushing down your face. "NO, ANAKIN!"

You had to accept that Anakin was dead.

Your brother was dead.

~☆~

Or so you thought

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panic-in-the-multiverse · 1 year

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Being Ahsoka Tano’s best friend would include

Pairings: Ahsoka Tano x reader

Imagine: being Obi-Wan’s padawan and Ahsoka’s best friend

Warnings: idk, Ahsoka leaving the order (I swear I can’t watch those episodes bc I cry every damn time, not because she’s leaving the order but bc she leaves people who care for her)

A/N I love Ahsoka and it’s a wonder I haven’t written anything for her before, but here I am writing for my fav girl so I hope someone out there will enjoy this <3

Becoming friends as soon as you both met, which was when you were still in training to become a padawan, which means you grew up with each other

You’d study with eachother

Hype eachother up if one of you is feeling sad or stressed, literally just helping eachother with emotions and anything in general

Ahsoka running to you filled with excitement to tell you she’s becoming a padawan and her master will be the one and only Anakin Skywalker

You doing the same to Ahsoka when you found out your master will be the one and only Obi-Wan Kenobi

Gossiping with each other

Getting in trouble together

Pranking people together with Fives, Waxer, Boil and a few others, you tried once to prank Cody, lesson learned you will never prank Cody again, he wasn’t to happy to have his helmet filled with blue and orange glitter (he still can find glitter to this day)

Obi-Wan now has to deal with three children (you, Anakin and Ahsoka) while Cody has to deal with more than five children (You, Obi-Wan, Anakin, Ahsoka, Rex, Waxer, Boil…)

Did I mention getting in trouble together

Being another headache for the Jedi council and those who tries to protect you both and those trying to keep you out of trouble

Training your lightsaber skills with each other, being an excellent match because you always end up even because by know you know every move the other will make

Calling each other names that you hate just for the fun of it

If anyone else were to call either you or Ahsoka those names you would both go into protective mood, no one gets to call you two that but you two

Always defending and protecting each other, if it is when you get in trouble with the council or when you fight for example General Grievous doesn’t matter

I hate to write it down but sadly I think I need too after all it is a big part of Ahsoka’s life. When Ahsoka gets accused of the bombing I believe you would 100% side with her, you’re best fiends siblings after all and you always have each others backs. You try to help her prove her innocence but it didn’t go exactly as planned. We all know what happens and so when she decided to leave you were heartbroken, you couldn’t care less about the order you only cared about Ahsoka. You knew it was what she wanted so you let her go but you were still sad over it, and selfishly tried to convince her to stay because you didn’t want to be without her, after all you were practically siblings and grew up with each other. In the end she told you it was for the best and that she didn’t trust the order anymore, she’d always trust you and she did try to keep in contact with you but it was hard with the ongoing war

Then comes the times in the order without Ahsoka, and if I’m being honest I think you would kinda mope around when you thought no one was looking becasue you missed your best friend so much, your bad days become even worse because you didn’t have Ahsoka to cheer you up, but you managed as did Ahsoka who missed you as much as you missed her

I believe Obi-Wan would do his best to comfort you even though he knew as well as you that it would never be the same as Ahsoka comforting you and cheering you up, but he did his best, and that’s all you could of asked for

Anakin and you probably talked about Ahsoka a lot with eachother or avoided the topic all together

However Plo Koon talked to you about Ahsoka all the time

Skip to Ahsoka coming back with Bo-Katan to save Mandalore from Maul (why does autocorrect keep wanting to change his name to Mail), you convinced your master to let you come with Ahsoka, and so a new adventure started for the two of you

Then there’s order 66 and you, Ahsoka and Rex barely escaped

You and Ahsoka stuck together after that never leaving each other sides scared you would lose eachother again let’s not forget you got frequent calls from Rex and Obi-Wan talked to you sometimes through the force (but not much he was in hiding after all and so were you)

#x reader #x teen #x teen!reader #x you #star wars #Ahsoka Tano x reader #ahsoka tano x fem!reader #Ahsoka Tano x male!reader #Ahsoka Tano x gn!reader #Star Wars x reader #star wars the clone wars #Ahsoka Tano #Ahsoka Tano headcanon #headcanon #star wars headcanon #obi wan kenobi x padawan!reader

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lacontroller1991 · 1 year

Text

A Chance to Start Over (Obi-Wan Kenobi x F!Reader)

Main Master List || Star Wars Master List

Author’s Note: back again with another angsty Obi-Wan fic. Poor mans just really needs to be taken care of and loved on I stg

Warnings: 18+ Post Order 66, Post Obi-Wan “killing” Anakin, male nudity (nothing explict), slight PTSD if you squint, sad sad Obi, crying Obi, Obi just needs some loving

Word Count: 1.2k

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It’s near midnight in Coruscant but you’re not asleep. How could you when you don’t know where he is or if he is even alive. It’s been about three days since the attack on the temple happened and you haven’t slept since. Realistically, you know that Obi-Wan was offworld and not at the temple, but after what Bail had told you about the clones turning on the Jedi, you could only pray that Obi-Wan made it out alive and unharmed.

A soft knock startles you as you whip your head to the door. To your knowledge you weren’t expecting any visitors, and even if you were, it definitely wouldn’t be this late at night, which gives you foolish hope. Creeping toward the door, you hesitantly open it only to let out a sigh of relief. “Obi-Wan.”

“I lost.”

He doesn’t say anything else before he’s pushing past you through the barrier into your haven as you shut the door making sure to lock it before you look the Jedi over; soot covering his skin, sweat matting his once soft hair and various burn marks on his robes. “I couldn’t save them.” He collapses on your couch, not moving an inch as you take a seat next to him, grabbing a hold of his dirty hand.

“Couldn’t save who?”

“Padme. Anakin.” His voice is somber as you hitch your breath. Leaning your head on his shoulder, you thread your pristine fingers through his rough ones as you inhale his scent, grounding you to him.

“What happened?”

“Anakin, he, turned to the dark side and Padme died during childbirth. I had no choice but to kill Anakin.” Your eyes widen at his confession as you turn to him, looking him over with pity as you grab his chin between your fingers.

“Obi… I don’t know what to say.” Softly, you press your lips to his forehead, not really caring that there’s layers of grime on it.

At the softness of your touch Obi-Wan loses control of his emotions as tears fall freely, leaving trails down his cheeks as he sobs into you and all you can do is to hold him tight. After a couple of minutes not separating, Obi-Wan finally pulls away and looks down at himself sheepishly. “I’m sorry darling, I didn’t realize how dirty I am. How dirty I made you.”

Shaking your head softly, you move to stand up and press a kiss to the crown of his head. “Just wait here.” Moving quickly, you enter your bathroom and turn on the faucet to your bath, letting the tub fill with warm water while you grab some dark towels and some spare clothes that Obi-Wan keeps here in case of emergency. Walking back into the living room, you find Obi-Wan slightly dozing off, exhaustion taking over his body. With a soft smile, you make your way over to the Jedi and shake him awake, him immediately shooting up off the couch and in a defensive position only to calm down when he sees you. “I’m so sorry, I don’t know what came over me.” He lets out a huff of frustration before you lean up and press a kiss on his lips.

“It’s okay, Obi. How about I get you cleaned up?” He wordlessly nods as you lead him to the bathroom before stripping him of his clothes and leaving him in the nude in front of you, but if he cared, he made no notion of it. Gesturing to the tub, Obi-Wan gives you a tired smile as he steps into the warm water, letting out a groan as the hot water combats against his worn muscles. Given any other circumstance, you would find that groan to be rather enticing and it wouldn’t take you long to hop in the tub with him, but now is not one of those times.

Grabbing a washcloth, you dip it into the water and later some soap onto his body as you gently scrub away the layers of dirt on his skin while he lets his blue eyes close. “What happened to the baby Padme was carrying?”

Cracking open an eye, Obi-Wan watches you in the reflection of the mirror scrub away on his shoulder, the water slowly turning darker and darker as he turns to look at you. Oh how he missed your face. From the moment he met you, he knew he was done for. Jedi Code aside, he knew that if it came down to you or the Order, he would choose you in a heartbeat, which is about to make what he has to say so hard for you and him.

“She was carrying twins. Luke and Leia. Bail took Leia to Alderaan and I took Luke to Tatooine. Master Yoda and I decided that it would be the best if they were split up.” Nodding your head, you can’t help but to feel a pang of pity for the twins. They’ll probably never get to meet their other half and the thought saddens you. Sensing Obi-Wan is holding something back, you set down the wash cloth and lightly kiss his freckled shoulder.

“Is there something else?”

“I can’t stay on Coruscant. The Empire… they’re going to be looking for me. I need to go into hiding.” His words feel like a knife plunging into your heart. Surely he isn’t suggesting that you and him leave each other? Right? “I’m afraid that we’ll have to say our goodbyes.”

“No.”

“No?” With both hands, you grasp onto his face and make eye contact with the one that you love.

“No. You are not doing this to me. To us. I’ll go with you. I’ll start over with you.”

Removing your hands from his face, Obi-Wan shakes his head in remorse. “You know I can’t ask that of you. I can’t ask you to leave your work, your home.”

“I don’t care about any of that, Kenobi. The senate is gone anyways. It’s not the republic that we both knew. I’ll take a trip to Vidia. I’ll move to elect another representative for my spot. I’ll run away with you. Please, let me.”

“I won’t be able to give you a home that you deserve. We’ll constantly have to be in hiding, you deserve better than that. You deserve a happy life.” Scoffing at his nonsense, you pick up the rag again and continue to clean him.

“Obi… I don’t care what you’re able to give me. As long as I have you, that’s all I need in my life. You make me happy, and all I want to do is to love you.” At your confession, Obi-Wan lets out a choked sob as he closes his eyes, trying to hold the tears at bay.

“You’d do all that, for me?”

“Obi-Wan, I’d do anything in the galaxy for you. Now let me finish getting you cleaned up and then we can get some sleep.”

“That sounds amazing. And darling?”

“Hmm?” “Thank you.” It’s soft but it makes your lips twitch upwards as you pick up some shampoo.

“You’re welcome, now tilt your head back,” and he does, easily complying to your command, though he never really had an issue with that before and he doesn’t think that he will ever have an issue with that again.

===========

Author’s Note: SO THERE WAS THAT. I hope you guys enjoyed the angst and the soft caretaking because he deserves it.

General Tag List: @marvelousmermaid @himbovillain-anon @babblydrabbly @fairchildflag @a-reader-and-a-writer @tavners

#obi wan kenobi x reader #obi-wan kenobi x reader #obi-wan x reader #obi wan x reader #obi wan kenobi #obi-wan kenobi #ben kenobi x reader #ewan mcgregor #star wars prequels #obi wan kenobi x fem!reader #Star Wars Revenge of the Sith #Obi wan kenobi series #Disney plus #lacontroller1991 #obi wan needs a hug

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thisisarcanereverie · 2 years

Text

Moments (Anakin Skywalker x Reader)

Hey, so this is my first Star Wars fic! I may get some things wrong with lore and how certain things work, but it's over 14k, filled with lots of fluff, angst, and smut so I don't know what to tell ya! I spent three days plus staying up to finish it so there may be a few mistakes.

WARNINGS/DISCLAIMERS: I don't own Star Wars nor most of these Characters. Master Kin is the only one. the story below contains Major Character death, mentions of torture, grief, smut (oral (fem receiving), hand jobs, nipple play, P in V sex (vanilla at first but the second one is like a twist cone situation), unprotected sex (don't be silly wrap your willy), pregnant sex, dirty talk (and a lot of it) (mainly from Anakin), porn with plot.) Angst, best friends to lovers situation, Anakin Skywalker being a daddy (no I will not apologize), Anakin Skywalker being a SIMP for his wife (reader), Anakin being a burnt out gifted kid with trauma, body worship.

There are moments in a person's life that they will never forget, even as age deteriorates their brain, those moments will remain.

Anakin Skywalker will always remember the first day he met you.

It was the day he first arrived at Coruscant with Master Qui Gon and at the time his Padawan Obi Wan Kenobi. The sandy haired boy was cold, colder than he had ever been, and he was scared that the Order wouldn’t accept him, but most of all he missed his mother. He missed her warm embraces and her kind smile, he missed the way she brushed his hair away from his face, and her kisses on his forehead, he missed her the only way a child can miss their mother. He was shivering and trying to cover up his sniffles as he tried to be brave. For her. He was so focused on remaining brave that he didn’t register the sound of footsteps headed his way until he saw a pair of boot clad feet stop right in front of him. He looked up and saw you. You were slightly taller than him, perhaps older too, he wasn’t sure, but he did think you looked just like the angels he always dreamt about.

“Are you cold?” Your voice was soft and kind as your eyes never left his. He nodded and sniffled again, not trusting his voice quite yet, you shrugged off your robe and held it out for him, “here take this.” Anakin hesitated at first, but your kind eyes allowed him to trust you. The fabric was thick and hung heavily off his shoulders.

“Thank you.” Anakin said as he reached out his hand, “I’m Anakin Skywalker.”

You accepted his small hand into yours.

“I’m (Y/n).”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anakin replayed that memory every night he was away from you. For the last ten years all he could think about was you. Even when you both resided in the temple he made every attempt to spend as much time with you as he could. But missions were getting longer and becoming more frequent for the both of you so the time you spent together was cutting shorter and shorter as the Separatists were causing more trouble. It had been months since he last saw you, he worried about you while he was away or the other way around. A darker part of him wanted to blame the Council for taking up so much of your time, but he knew it was your duty as well as his.

“Pack up Anakin,” Obi Wan said, already gathering his things from their camping site, “we’re going back to Coruscant. The mission is over and another is already awaiting us as soon as we arrive.” Anakin couldn’t help but groan as he proceeded to pack up his things as well.

“Don’t complain Anakin,“ Obi warned as he finished packing waiting for his young padawan to finish packing up himself, “it could be worse.”

“Oh yeah, how?” Anakin sassed, Obi did his best to hide the smug smile on his face. He was going to wait and surprise Anakin with the news until they got to the temple but decided against it.

“They won’t let Master Kin and his Padawan join us.”

Anakin whipped his head to look at his Master, finding the relatively young man had no hints of dishonesty anywhere on his face. Excitedly, the young Padawan walked towards his Jedi Mentor.

“Is it true Obi Wan,” asked Anakin hopefully, “(Y/n) will be joining us?”

“Control yourself my young Padawan,” Obi warned semi seriously, “your friend and her Master will be joining us on a mission regarding a Senator. The sooner we get to Coruscant the sooner we can get the debriefing over with and the more details we’ll have about the mission.” Before Obi Wan had even finished that sentence Anakin had packed up and was ready to go in record time. He was already practically running towards their ship which was still a few miles ahead.

“C’mon Master!” Anakin exclaimed, “Don’t want to keep the Council waiting!”

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Turns out they were on security detail for Senator Amidala, who was currently having attempts taken on her life. If it was just him and Obi-Wan, Anakin might have complained about how Jedi were above security detail. But since you were joining them, he decided to let it be.

Anakin waited impatiently in the elevator with Obi-Wan, who by now was getting a little annoyed at the impatience of the man beside him who considers a brother.

“You seem a little on edge.” Obi Wan observed. Anakin fidgets a little with his dark robes, trying to make himself a little more presentable.

“Not at all.” He lied. Obi Wan scoffed.

“I haven’t felt you this tense since we fell into that nest of Gundarks.” Obi wan remarked. Anakin looked at his Master with some laughter.

“You fell into that nightmare Master,” Anakin laughed, “I rescued you, remember?”

“Oh…yes.” Obi laughed as he remembered that moment. He looked over to Anakin again, and mentally remarked on how well Anakin had grown up. He was taller now, taller than him, his baby face was no more and he had turned into a man, almost overnight. But Obi-Wan’s Padawan still had much to learn, Anakin was still impulsive and emotional. Much like now with small beads of sweat began to form on his forehead.

“You’re sweating,” Obi wan calmly stated, “relax, take a deep breath.”

“I haven’t seen her in almost a year, Master,” Anakin excitedly said, “and I haven’t seen Senator Amidala in ten.” From what Anakin could recall, he knew that Padme was a good queen to her people, and alright for a politician. If her plans for the senate went through it would take a load off of the Jedi Order and there would be more time to relax and more time for him to spend with you.

A knowing smile rested on Obi Wan's face as he could practically read the thoughts going through Anakin’s mind right now.

The elevator doors opened and they were immediately bombarded by Jar Jar who was thrilled to see them. Jar Jar shook their hands and led them to where you and Padme were currently looking over at the balcony. Anakin swears by the Maker that everytime he sees you, you become lovelier than when he last saw you. The setting sun illuminated you and gave you a sort of halo, while the breeze moved your hair ever slightly. Sunlight suited you well.

“Mesa palos is here,” Jar Jar announced, “lookie, lookie senator! Desa Jedi arriven!”

Anakin tears his eyes from you to look at Padme, who indeed was still a beauty. Her brown hair was done up and fine clothes adorned her. But she was nowhere near how beautiful you were to Anakin.

You and Padme made your way to where Obi Wan and Anakin stood. Obi wan bowed as Anakin still looked at you, trying to contain his excitement at seeing you again. And from the looks of it, you were struggling to do the same as well.

“It’s a great pleasure to see you again, milady.” Obi Wan greeted Padme and reached out a hand for her to shake.

“It has been far too long Master Kenobi.” Padme shook his hand and said gracefully before looking over his shoulder to see a familiar mess of sandy hair.

“Ani?” She asked in astonishment, “my goodness you’ve grown.”

“So have you,” Anakin said, “more beautiful I mean.” His blue eyes dart in your direction.

“It’s been awhile Anakin.” You say as you reach out a hand, “how was your mission on Anison?”

He takes your hand, “long and boring I’m afraid.” Anakin would tell you all about it later but for right now there were too many eyes and ears. He couldn’t say as he wished to, he couldn’t be too casual with you, despite how much he wanted to. With the way the group talked and smiled it almost felt like a reunion of sorts, despite the fact that you and Padme had never met before. Before long Obi Wan motioned for the three of you to sit on the couches and discuss business. Anakin knew he should be paying attention, and he was somewhat, but right now he just felt at peace; with you sitting beside him.

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Anakin paced around the sitting room, for the past few weeks he’s not slept well. His dreams were filled of his mother, nothing new there, but now she was in pain; calling out to him but he couldn't reach her. It was a nightmare, at least, that’s what he tried to convince himself. Obi Wan was on patrol duty along with your master, so he was all alone. Or so he thought.

“You look tired An,” Your voice brings him out of his head and back to where he wants to be. With you.

“You don’t look too bad yourself, Angel.” He could see you try to stifle the blush that rose to your face to no avail.

“If anyone caught you using that nickname they would get the wrong idea.”

“We wouldn’t want that now do we?” Anakin teased. You decided to join him on the balcony, enjoying the night air for a moment before looking at him the way you used to when you were kids and he had a secret. Anakin sighed before looking back out to the city lights of Coruscant, he knew it was futile to evade your stare.

“I don’t know why but I keep dreaming about her.” He finally gave in.

“Your mother?” You asked gently to which he responded with a nod. You held his hand, your thumb

brushing over his knuckles. “Do you want to talk about it?” He shook his head as you told him it was alright, trusting that he would talk to you when he was ready.

‘I’d much rather dream of you’, Anakin thought as you led him back inside where it was warmer. Knowing that even after ten years he never got used to the cold of this planet. The warmth of your hand and the gentleness of your eyes comforted him in ways you’ll never know. He couldn’t help but think that every time he was apart from you it only felt like he was half a person, but every touch, every kind word, every moment spent in your presence made him whole. You brought out a part of him he never knew he had, just being around you for even a moment was like breathing clean air for the first time. It was addicting.

However, with every high there comes a low. Anakin would give anything to hold you, to have you in a way that was forbidden by the Jedi Order. Something in Anakin stirred as he thought of how ludicrous that law was, Jedi were encouraged to be compassionate, so why shouldn’t they be encouraged to love as well? Was it that far of a leap that compassion and love weren’t so different.

“I just put the Senator to bed,” You said breaking him from his thoughts, “her and I discussed this and she came up with the idea to use her as a sort of bait. Luring the assassin into thinking that she is unguarded, I programmed R2 to notify us of an intruder immediately.”

“It’s a risk.” Anakin said, almost contemplating if it was too much of one.

“I know,” you said, “but don’t we want to catch the assassin so that she may go about her life?” Your logic was understandable. “With our talents combined we should be able to sense everything that goes on in her room.”

“That’s true.” Anakin agreed, it’s something he would come up with on his own so of course he would agree. “But our Masters would have our heads if they knew.”

“They’ll be on patrol for the next half hour I assume,” You said, “an hour and a half if they have a conversation.”

“They do love to talk don’t they?” Anakin mused as he sat on the cerulean sofa and you followed.

“I believe they love to hear themselves talk.” You both laughed as your masters were prone to giving you both lectures. You soon fall into a comfortable silence, another thing Anakin loved about you. Silence with you never made him uneasy, he never felt the need to fill the silence with useless words. For a while you both just sat there, watching the hover cars zoom past the window, your hand in his. The sound of the opening of the door alerted you as you ripped your hand away from his, Anakin had to fight himself to not grab your hand back.

The door opened to reveal a dark haired man, who towered over the auburn one.

“Masters,” you greeted them as Anakin followed suit. Slightly annoyed at them for ruining the moment.

“(Y/n), why are you not in the Senators room?” Master Kin asked.

“She claimed she could not sleep while I watched her.” You said swiftly, it was not a whole lie. She truly said she could not sleep with you watching her.

“Then you should be standing guard outside her door.” Master Kin responded.

“R2 is programmed to alert us if there is an intruder.” Anakin quickly came to your defense.

“There are many other ways to kill a Senator.” Obi Wan said, just then uneasiness fell over the group. Sensing something malicious coming from Padme’s room.

“I sense it too.” Obi Wan said as you all raced to Padme’s room to reveal two worm like creatures slithering over her. Anakin was quick enough to slay them before they bit her, the sudden commotion though led the sleeping beauty to wake up. You quickly note the sound of whirring coming from the window. Before you could even say anything the auburn Jedi Master had hurled himself through the window. You couldn’t help but wonder if it was that his Padawan was impulsive or if it was the Master himself.

“Anakin!” You exclaimed, “You follow Obi Wan, I'll stay with the Senator.”

The sandy haired man nodded before racing past the scared handmaidens and startled guards to follow his impulsive Master.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“We are concerned for our Padawans,” Obi wan states as he walks with Master Windu, Master Yoda, and his friend Master Kin, “we don’t believe they’re ready to be given this assignment on their own yet.”

“I have to agree with Master Obi Wan,” Kin agreed, “they’re both still too young and too impulsive.”

“The council is confident in their decision Obi Wan,” Yoda dismissively states.

“They both have exceptional skills.” Master Windu says as Obi and Kin both shared worried glances.

“Yet they still have much to learn Master.” Kin says, he would never admit it to your face. But he thought of you fondly and didn’t want you hurt.

“Anakin’s skills have made him arrogant,” Obi Wan states, “the need to feed his ego may prove to jeopardize the mission.”

“A flaw more common among Jedi,” Yoda says before humming in disapproval, “too sure of themselves they are.” his beady green eyes trained on the two Jedi Masters in front of him, “Even the older, more experienced ones.”

Windu places a hand on Obi Wan’s shoulders, “Remember Obi Wan, if the prophecy is true, your apprentice is the only one who can bring the Force back into balance.” With one last nod Windu and Yoda start to walk away to another Jedi Council meeting.

“And what of mine?” Kin asks them, “why does (Y/n) need to go as well?”

“Who do you think is going to keep Anakin balanced?”

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

It has been well over a week since you and Anakin arrived on Naboo. Strangely enough, you felt like you belonged here. Especially in the lake country where Padme resided. Here she didn’t need much protection so in reality it was much like a vacation for you and Anakin. Every morning you woke up to the sound of the lake and breathed in that clean air, lightly fragranced by the flower gardens nearby. Here it was different. The beds were soft, the air was sweet, and everything was beautiful. You felt at peace here, you noticed, in Naboo you felt calm.

You looked out at the lake letting your mind wander as you watched the water move. You don’t know when Anakin joined you, but he often did when you looked out at the lake. Much like you he seemed happy here, more relaxed. He still wore his heavy robes while Padme had lent you some of her clothes. Claiming that you didn’t need to be so formal while you were here. You were embarrassed to admit it, but before this you had never worn a dress. At least, not like the one you were wearing now, a soft yellow with embroidery. Your holster for your saber hung off of your waist still, just in case. Your hair hung in a loose half up half down style, just enough to keep your hair from blocking your vision. Every morning here Anakin thanked the Maker, because he had never seen you like this before. He enjoyed seeing you this way, the sun glinting off your exposed shoulders, the way your hair moved freely in the soft breeze, and the small smile that lit up your face. If Anakin had to describe what heaven would look like, this would be it.

“Do you ever think about having children?”

Your sudden question threw him off guard, stuttering for just a moment before regaining his composure. He looked out to where your gaze rested on the water, a small family of ducks made its way across the blue river.

“What do you mean by that?” He asked.

“I mean,” You stop for a second, biting your lip before continuing, “I don’t know if I could do it.” Anakin looked over at you and saw the sadness in your eyes, one he had never seen before, “the Jedi aren’t supposed to have attachments like love or a family. Yet we are to repopulate, to breed and then abandon the offspring to some orphanage or family until they are old enough for the Council to sense the Midi-Chlorians in them and then rip them away from all they ever knew for training.” tears started forming in your eyes, “it’s cruel.” Anakin held your hand as you wiped away the few tears that escaped your eyes. “I’m sorry I’m just being silly.” You apologized.

“It’s not silly,” Anakin assured you, “if none of that were in the way. The Jedi Council’s rules about attachments and love, would you want to be a mother?” You pondered that question for a moment, watching as the mother duck tended to her ducklings. You tried to imagine that kind of life. One where you were free to love and to be loved without fear. You smiled as you imagined your hypothetical children running around the lake country. Playing in the water, their messy mops of sandy hair and bright blue eyes like their father who calls you Angel.

“Yes,” you admit, “yes I would.” and a piece of your heart broke.

“I don’t like sand,” Anakin admitted, for a moment you wonder what he could be on about. “It’s coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.” You laugh a little as he passionately states the last bit. A moment passes as you both look around you, the wind blowing through the trees, the sound of birds happily chirping. It was like a dream, a very happy dream. “Not like here,” Anakin continues, “here everything is soft.” his eyes land on your frame, taking you in. Subtly biting his lip as he just looks at you like a dehydrated man looks at water. “And smooth,” tentatively Anakin’s large hands ghost over the skin of your hands. He gently moves them upward, merely grazing the exposed skin of your shoulders. Leaving goosebumps and electricity in their wake as his touch lingers on the gentle curve of your neck. You look at him, his blue eyes betraying his feelings for you. Meanwhile yours does the same. You don’t quite remember who leaned in first, but you do remember feeling his smile against your lips. You remember he tasted sweet like chocolate and something distinctly him. All of your nerves ignite as you feel him, you feel his touches getting braver as you yourself bring your hands to his face. Your thumbs gently brush the apples of his flushed cheeks and you remarked how soft he felt, how right his lips on yours felt. You silently wished the moment to never end, to live in that one moment forever would be enough.

But moments don’t last forever.

Within seconds you forced yourself away, dropping your hands as you moved to put some space between you. Already missing the weight of his arms around you and the soft plush of his lips which were now slightly swollen from your kiss.

“We can’t do this Anakin,” you tried to say, more to convince you then himself.

“Why not?” Anakin asked, the tone of his voice almost pained.

“We both made a commitment to the Order,” You said, again more to yourself than to him, “one not so easily broken.” You looked everywhere except for him yet he was the thing your eyes were drawn to the most. Like a magnet.

“It doesn’t have to be like that.” Anakin says, “Angel, we don’t have to stay.”

“I may not,” You laugh bitterly, “but you do.” You take a step back as he took a step towards you, “You are the Chosen One. You have to stay with the Jedi Order to bring balance back to the force. To bring an end to the Sith.” Your heart breaks as you continue to step away from him, “I cannot be the person that takes away the Light's last hope.” You turn away, walking swiftly to a place furthest away from him. To a place where you can cry and hold your breaking heart in peace. Meanwhile Anakin watches you, regretting every moment he does not run after you.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Things had more or less been normal after, You don’t talk as much to Anakin or him to you. There is this polite distance, and coldness and fear that wasn’t there before. Even Padme noticed it. She had grown quite fond of you both and considered you close friends, so it pained her to see this drastic change in dynamic between you. Padme had asked you once what had happened only for you to dismiss her worries and push her away. When it was clear you weren’t talking, she talks to Anakin. Who told her in detail what had happened.

Padme had just assumed you both were in a secret relationship of sorts, but hearing all of this through Anakin had proved that while you both may love each other. The situation at hand made it impossible for you both to be together and it broke her heart. While Anakin may not understand why you pushed him away, for Padme it made perfect sense. She tried explaining it to him, that you were just trying to think logically, but nothing was getting through to him. So, in true Amidala fashion, she knew she had to take matters into her own hands.

She set up a nice dinner, to celebrate the one month anniversary of your arrival to Naboo. There was a nice dinner and candle light, and she made sure you wore a nice dress. That your hair had been braided nicely and that you wore a necklace. Meanwhile she had encouraged Anakin to lose his heavy robes and wear something lighter.

She ate with you and suggested drinks in the second sitting area. Which was smaller, more intimate. Padme had already lit the fireplace and set candles out. She excused herself early on, insisting that you both finish your drinks without her.

Silence filled the room, you had not been alone with Anakin since that day all those weeks ago. If you were on Padme duty he was somewhere else, and if he was on Padme duty he knew to avoid the balcony where you stared off at the lake. And on those rare occasions where both of you were off, you avoided each other by staying in your respective rooms. But now here you were, and the other couldn’t be avoided. You were the first to finish your drink but as you were about to excuse yourself, the sound of Anakin’s voice stopped you.

“You were my first friend within the temple,” Anakin admitted with a slight tremor in his voice, “had it not been for you and Obi Wan I would’ve felt so alone. For these past ten years I have done nothing but love you, with every bit of my heart I do. It is too late to deny it nor do I want to. You are embedded into my soul and you haunt my bones. I do not know how you manage to make me feel both complete bliss and utter agony at the same time but you do. I am tormented day and night by the kiss we shared.” Anakin stands up and makes his way to you, his large hands grasping your shoulders. “You once asked me if I ever wanted children. After that day I tried to imagine what that life would be like. I tried to imagine every other woman but I could not, until I imagined you. Because my thoughts always, always come back to you. I dreamt of a life where you held our child in your arms, where you sang them old Jedi hymns to sleep.” his voice lowers to a whisper as you feel his warm breath ghost over the slope of your neck and sigh as his hands loosen their grip on your shoulders to gently dance across your arms. “Where I held you every night in my arms, or me in yours.” his lips ghost your flushed cheek as your thoughts start to become muddled. “Where I kissed you and you didn’t pull away.” his lips press softly against the underside of your jaw, “and where you loved me too.”

You pull away enough to look at him, the dim light of the fireplace illuminating his features in golden light and harsh shadows. He looked like a man haunted. Without any more thought or willpower anymore, you grabbed his face and brought his lips to meet yours. Unlike the kiss before at the lake, this one was more confident, more passionate. It was lips, teeth, and tongue. Your hands grope at each other for something, anything, to hang on to. Something more powerful than electricity ran through you as you led him back to the sofa. Gasping lightly as he pulled you on top of him.

“You make the most beautiful sounds,” Anakin quietly said as he kissed your chin and moved his lips down to the column of your neck, nipping at the pulse. You whimper slightly at the sensation, you breath out breathy moans as his lips continue their assault while your hands try to find purchase anywhere. With each kiss he placed you felt both electrified and greedy for more. You don’t register Anakin lowering the strap of your dress until you feel his plush lips kiss where the strap used to be.

“An,” You sighed as his lips left your body for just a moment. His eyes met yours, only a thin rim of the blue that you loved remained, holding promises of the night. Neither of you spoke, too afraid of what the other had to say. Instead you lowered the other strap of your dress, you untied the back of the fine garment as well. Letting it fall, leaving you only in the necklace your dear friend gave you. Anakin did the same, undressing before you, stumbling quite a bit as his eyes never left your frame and yours on his.

You both stood there for a moment, admiring each other. You traced every scar you found on him with love and care, no matter how small. Your fingers danced along his chest and along his shoulders. Admiring how the dim light of the candles and fireplace around you bathed him a soft light. Contouring him to look as though he had been carved by the Maker himself. Meanwhile Anakin was at a loss, he usually had so much to say. But right now he was enveloped by you. In the dim light you looked ethereal, and despite the fact that he had always wanted you; the way your fingers danced along every scar on him, it feels as though you're healing them. Making the scars fade until they are nothing, making him feel new and pure, this has changed his want into a need, a hunger only you can satisfy. He needed you like the very air he breathed, like the ground he stood on and the gravity that kept him there. A moment passes, before his lips descend on yours again. Tasting you, feeling the way you molded together like you were always meant to be.

His hands no longer ghost as he feels you fully. Lowering you onto the soft carpet below, his lips begin to explore again. Leaving a trail of fire and desire in their wake. The plush of his lips never leave your skin as he trails down, his hands never leaving your skin either. He grips at the fleshy part of your thighs urging them apart slowly as his lips travel further south of your body. Your breathing becomes uneven as he teases you, kissing and nipping the inside of your thighs, fingers toying with the bundle of nerves in between. Pleasure shoots through you and it is both too much and not enough.

“Anakin,” Your pleading whisper brings him back from his enjoyment as he sees the desperation in your eyes. Unable to hold himself back any longer, he gives in to his desire. You couldn’t stop the moan that escaped from you as his lips made contact with the swollen bundle of nerves he had been previously toying with. He let out a guttural moan as he tasted you on his tongue. Anakin swears he’s never tasted anything so sweet.

The vibrations of his moans make your arch your back against the plush carpet below you in pleasure as your death grip on the carpet tightens as Anakin continues to worship you. Your chest heaves as his tongue does unimaginable things to do, Your eyes never leave his as you remark in your mind how much he looked like a starving man being served a meal. His eyes only ever leave you to roll back in his head as he closes them to savor the taste of you. Soon enough you feel a knot, a weight really forming in your lower abdomen. You quietly whisper his name repeatedly like a prayer only he could understand. His tongue traces you, tracing the same message on repeat, as you struggle to make it out through your pleasure.

Mine.

You let out a silent scream as you feel the knot in you coming undone, but Anakin doesn’t let up on his ministrations, continuing to claim you as your body spasms in prolonged pleasure. It’s borderline painful as Anakin greedily laps up what all you were willing to give. His heart skipped a beat as he felt how slick you became from his tongue alone; by now he was throbbing, begging for some kind of release.

“Anakin.” You whimpered, despite having your world shaken and taken beneath you, you couldn’t help it. You were selfish, you wanted more of him, as much as he would give in this moment. The sandy haired man kisses his way back to your lips, letting you taste yourself on his tongue. Your hands remove themselves from their death grip on the carpet to cradle his face. Thumbs grazing over his cheek as his hands find your breasts. Massaging them, bringing you pleasure as you feel yourself wanting him more, letting out a soft gasp as his thumbs brush over your pebbled nipple.

“Anakin,” You whimpered again, wanting more still. Your eyes hold his as you pull away enough to express your needs.

“I want you Anakin,” you say.

“Want me to do what Angel,” Anakin murmurs against your lips, “tell me.” your cheeks flush at the nickname he gives you, despite him calling you that before, there was now a new layer to it that wasn’t there before. Or perhaps, that layer had always been there, you just didn’t want to see it.

“I want you inside me,” you say, “I want you.” Now it was Anakin’s turn to blush at your confession, with one last look he silently asks you if you are sure. For you to respond with a gentle kiss to his lips, so different from those passionate, lust fueled ones from before. It was gentle, and soft and tasted faintly of you. Everytime Anakin thought he couldn’t possibly fall in love with you more, you proved him wrong. He reciprocated the kiss with more enthusiasm as you felt him line himself up.

You wrap your arms around him as you feel him fill you, slowly, letting you feel every inch of himself. The sensation, although unfamiliar, wasn’t unpleasant. You could feel his force and yours intertwine in a dance of their own as he bottomed out inside you. And as you looked at the man above you, and felt his heart beating against his chest and yours, felt his force with yours. You wondered if this is why Jedi were forbidden to love, because every feel and touch was intoxicating, addicting, and if you had it your way the rest of the galaxy would just disappear. Leaving just this, leaving you and Anakin as one.

Anakin felt himself tremble as he bit back the urge to ravish you completely, savagely even. You were perfect, you were an angel sent for him, you were everything to him. For ten years now he’s felt cold, like some piece of him was missing and now, as your arms were wrapped around him and your bodies were intertwined; he felt warm, he felt full.

Slowly he began to move, dragging his cock out of you slowly, letting you feel him retreat before thrusting himself back into you. Anakin had wanted to do this slowly, to make love to you, worship you like the angel you were. However, each pleasurable sound that came out of you ate away at what self control he had left; not that he had much to begin with.

Each thrust shot electricity down your spine, you had never felt so full in your life. You were surrounded by him, you could smell the familiar spiced scent of him and taste the saltiness of his skin, you could feel him inside you, hitting that one spot that made you see stars repeatedly and without mercy. You could even feel him in your soul, clawing at you, screaming, letting you know that he was there. And he always will be.

Anakin let go of your breasts as he laid back on his haunches, helping you up from the plush ground and into his lap. From this angle your chest was pressed against his and his hands gripped the flesh of your ass so tightly you were positive his fingerprints would leave bruises. Reminders, really, of tonight.

Your hands grip the hair at the back of his head, tugging it, as he pounds up into you. In this position he was impossibly deeper into than before. Tears prick the corners of your eyes as he continuously hits that one spot that makes your back arch and toes curl. You whisper his name, like he was the only thing keeping you tethered down to the ground. You press your forehead against his as he speaks words of encouragement to you.

“Keep going Angel, you can take it can’t you? I know you can, my beautiful, kind Angel. You’re so perfect, you have no idea how beautiful and perfect you are.”

His pelvis kept rubbing against your clit, adding to the pressure that settled in your abdomen. Your sweat slicked bodies hanging onto each other for dear life. You were close, you were so close. You just needed One. Little. Push.

“Cum for me Angel,” Anakin whispered, “let me feel you.”

And there it was.

Your vision turned white as your back arched into him, his lips descending on your throat as he kept up his pace. He laid you back down onto the plush carpet as he moved your legs to rest on his forearms. You were pilant as he continued to pound into you. Your walls were still spasming as he drilled into you, chasing his release all the while admiring the blissed out expression on your face. Anakin was close, so close that his entire body felt like it was on fire.

“Anakin,” You whimpered as you cradled his face, “cum inside me my love, let me feel you cum inside.”

He was done for.

Anakin had one last thrust in him before he felt himself unload deep within you, practically falling on top of you. Both of your chests heaving, his head rested on your chest; listening to the rapid beating of your heart while your fingers found his hair, brushing through the damp, sandy locks, absentmindedly playing with his Padawan braid. And for a while you both laid there, basking in the afterglow, even after he softened in you there he still was. For a minute Anakin thought he could sleep peacefully that night, as long as he could hear your heartbeat and hold you in his arms the bad dreams would go away.

But it didn’t happen like that.

Eventually he slipped out of you, and helped you dress as best as he could before practically carrying you to the closest bedroom, his. He wet a washcloth to wash you and himself up before finally laying down with you in his bed. Tomorrow you will talk, you will figure out where to go from there if there was anywhere to go. But for right now you were his, and he was yours. And nothing could ever tear you apart.

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

You weren’t sure what to do anymore.

The morning after that night you woke up to an empty bed, at first your heart had sunk only to see Anakin on the balcony. He told you the dreams he was having weren’t dreams, but visions. That his mother was in danger and calling out to him, that he needed to rescue her. And you weren’t about to let him go off alone, with no back up. So you gathered Padme and a few other guards and made your way to Tatooine. It was very much how Anakin had described it, the heat was hot, sand was everywhere and there were two suns in the sky.

You both learned that his mother had been freed and married a farmer on the other side of Mos Eisley.

When you both got there, you were met with kind people. Cliegg, Owen, and his girlfriend, Beru. You even got to meet the cyborg that Anakin had built to serve his mother, C3PO. Turns out a month prior the Tuskcan’s had raided the farm and took his mother. Anakin had immediately gone to look for his mother while you stayed behind to watch over Padme. You spent all night pacing outside the farm, waiting anxiously for him, debating on whether or not to look for him. But once the two suns began to rise over the horizon you could see his speeder come into your sight. But the closer he got the more you could feel his anguish and sorrow. You felt a tear prick the corner of your eye as the feeling of his grief overtook you.

He had been back for all of a few days and had not spoken a word to anyone, not even you. While Owen and Beru were handling the arrangements for her burial, Cliegg did what he could. Meanwhile Anakin had holed himself up in the workshop, fixing old droids and tools. Something you knew he did to take his mind off things.

You and Padme helped where you could, even making lunch and bringing it down to Anakin. More often than not he didn’t eat, unless it came from you.

Today you brought him down his lunch while Padme dealt with the clean up. You see the familiar scene of Anakin fixing something, dark circles beneath his eyes, cheeks sunken in as his skin looked pale. Malnourished.

“I brought you something,” you said gently, setting down the tray beside him. He did not look you in the eyes as he continued to fix the thing in front of him.

“The shifter broke,” he started, “life seems so much simpler when you’re fixing things.” he took out a few wires before continuing, “I’m good at fixing things, always was.” You hear his voice start to tremble as you gently place your hand on his shoulder. His fingers stop as he grips the metal table in front of him tightly, as you feel his shoulders start to tremble, “but I couldn’t…” he looks at you, for the first time in days you could see how swollen they had become, how bloodshot they were. “Why did she have to die?” He asked with so much venom in his voice it startled you. “Why couldn’t I save her?! I know I could have!”

“Anakin Skywalker,” You say firmly, bringing your hands to cradle his face, forcing him to look into your eyes, “this is not your fault. There are just some things you can’t control.” You thumbs brush over his tear stained cheeks soothingly, “you are not all powerful.”

“Well I should be!” Anakin exclaimed, removing himself from your touch and you allowed him. He turned his back to you as he fiddled absently with another trinket, “someday I will be.” he paused, “I am the chosen one, and someday I will be powerful enough to put an end to the Sith and bring balance to the Force. Someday, I will become the most powerful Jedi ever!” He turns to look at you, his eyes blazing with an anger and pain you’ve never seen before, “I will be so powerful that I will learn to stop people from dying.” Your heart breaks as you see truly what the expectations of others, including yourself, have done to him. All of this pressure to be great and powerful, to bring balance to the Force. The weight of not just a world, but an entire galaxy hung on his shoulders and has been sitting there since he was 9 years old. It has corroded his self esteem.

“It’s all Obi Wan’s fault!” Anakin loudly said, “he’s jealous and he’s holding me back!” he threw the trinket he had been toying with at a wall. You knew he didn’t mean what he said, he was hurt and angry and needed someone to blame and right now it’s Obi Wan. But you knew the truth. Anakin considered Obi Wan to be his brother and his father all in one. Closer to him than most.

However you knew there was more than he was letting on, you’ve felt it since the day he came back. A regret, a darkness tainted his eyes.

“There’s something else,” you started walking closer to him, “what happened An?”

He explained it all to you, how he slaughtered them all, not just the men but the defenseless women and children as well. How scared he was of himself and the rage he was capable of. By the end of it he regretted ever telling you, fearful of your reaction. Would you hate him now? Did you lose you too?

You surprised him as your arms wrapped around him, telling him that everything was going to be alright. That you weren’t scared of him and how sorry you were for the expectations that were unfairly thrusted upon him. Anakin let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in as his arms wrapped around you too, pressing you to him as he buried his face in your hair. Letting it all out, every choked sob and prayer, begging for a forgiveness not from you but from the Maker. Hoping that he would still deem him worthy of the angel he sent for him.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

That had all been half a week ago, you had buried Anakin’s mother and soon after received a message from Obi Wan who was in trouble in Geonosis. Which according to the map, had only been half a parsec away. Well you both went to save his Master, leaving Padme to her guards and to the Lars family until you returned. Which had been against Council order’s but you were the quickest on the scene, and where better to leave Padme than in the middle of a nowhere planet so close to the action that they wouldn’t even dream of her being so close.

You were arrogant to believe the rescue mission would have been so easy, having been quickly captured. But in the end, all ended up ok– well as ok as can be. Anakin lost his forearm and was given a scar above his brow by Count Dooku. Meanwhile you have your own new and cool scars from the battle. You both had been given the all clear to escort Padme back to Naboo. It wasn’t until both you and Anakin were in the cockpit alone together that you realized that you haven't had the chance to talk about what happened, before everything went down. It was never the right time, but if anything of this adventure and the adventure yet to come has taught you anything; it’s that you love this man. For all his many faults and his many blessings, you loved him. You do not think you could go on another day without it being said. You knew his feelings for you ran deep, that he loved you just as much as you loved him.

“Anakin,” you softly call him, he turned on the auto-piolet as he turned to face you. Within seconds your lips descended on his firmly, romantically, with your thumb gracing the edge of his jawline. Before you placed your forehead against his, eyes never leaving him.

“I love you too.” You confessed as you placed another kiss on his cheek, “I don’t think I could’ve gone another day without telling you that.” You kissed him again fleetingly, “I don’t care if we have to hide it, I don’t care if they kick me out or deal out the heaviest punishment they have. I don’t care, as long as I am with you they can throw their stones.” His hands grip yours as tears prick at his eyes. Anakin gives you the biggest smile as he pulls you in for the most passionate kiss he has ever given you. Leaving you both with flushed cheeks and swollen lips. He pressed his forehead to yours.

“Will you marry me, my Angel?” He asked, your eyes widen before the biggest smile adorns your face, brightening the cockpit around him.

“Yes, my love.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were married soon after, due to the secret nature of your marriage only trusted friends were there. Padme, 3PO, and R2D2. Padme gave you her white lace dress, with a veil to match. While Anakin wore his signature dark robes, you were married on Naboo and would soon celebrate 3 years together next month.

The Clone Wars took a heavy toll on both you and Anakin, you both graduated and became Jedi Knights/General’s. Your occupations made it hard to find time for each other, let alone for intimacy and yet you made it work.

You stood worriedly by the gates with all the other politicians. You were worried that the rumors were true, that Anakin had died in battle. You had unconsciously let your hand rest on your stomach, You let out a worried sigh as you knew your time in the Jedi Order was coming to an end, and soon. Due to its early nature you weren’t showing just yet, however, you worried that it was obvious. Like a big arrow was above your head in neon lights. However your fears were soon put to rest as you saw your beautiful Anakin making his way towards the crowd you were in. His hair had grown longer as he grew more muscular, more refined. He truly was a man in his prime. And Anakin couldn’t place it, but you seemed to be glowing as he saw you in the crowd, it was a beautiful glow.

After making some polite chit chat with a few of the politicians you finally managed to pull him away. With the excuse of escorting him to his chambers to discuss important business. No sooner had you closed and locked the door of his chambers his lips were on you, his hands finding purchase on your hips. He kissed you as though it was the first time, with the same level of love and care.

“I’ve missed you my Angel.” Anakin breathily said as he pressed his forehead to yours.

“And I, you, my love.” You said, equally out of breath. For a moment you stayed like that in the silence, you were tense, worried about his reaction. You’ve discussed children before, but that was years ago and you don’t know if his heart had changed.

“What’s wrong my Angel,” Anakin asked worriedly, “did something happen?”

“Yes,” you admitted, luring Anakin to sit on the couch as you proceed to tell him, “something did.”

“Are you ok?” Anakin asked worriedly, his eyes quickly looking over you to see if you were bleeding or if a new scar had appeared, “did someone hurt you?”

“No, quite the opposite.” You say, taking a deep breath before ripping the bandaid off, “I’m leaving the Jedi Order.”

“You’re what?” Anakin asked shocked, “why?” He was already planning the disappearance of anyone in the Order who may have displeased you enough for you to turn in your resignation.

“Because I don’t want our children born in the Order.”

“Cause you don’t want ou-” Anakin started to say before his eyes widened, almost comically, “o-our uh our children?” He repeated as you nodded trying hard to stifle the giggles erupting from you, “does this mean?” You nodded again. A moment passes after that, a very long moment before Anakin's eyes were full of tears and a smile lit up his face as he gently placed his hand over your stomach. His children…You were carrying his children.

“When did you find out?” He asked, feeling the force was already strong with them.

“A couple days ago.” You confessed. “I’m about two months in.”

“So that means-” Anakin trails off knowing conception must have happened the night before he left.

“Yeah,” you said, knowing where his train of thought was. You played with the ends of his hair as he continues to digest. “I’ve saved up enough credits to buy a small home in the lake country on Naboo. I was going to buy it so that we could have a place to get away every once in a while, escape from the council and their watchful eyes. But plans have changed, and I want to have our children on Naboo, where we made our vows.” The small home was beautiful, nowhere near what you stayed in while residing with Padme, but it felt like home. It was shaded by the tall trees, and flowers bloomed everywhere. The soil was good for planting vegetables, and the market wasn’t far away. Just a few miles walk, and Padme lived close by. The home had a deck where you could sit and watch the waves and overall it was perfect. You were already in the process of buying it when you made your discovery.

“I-I’ve got to tell the Council about my resignation.” Anakin says already getting up to inform them when you grabbed your hand to stop him.

“No,” you said hurriedly, “not yet anyway.” You lead him back to sit on the couch as you join him. “I will go on ahead and set up for the baby, you are too close to catching Grievous and this mysterious Sith Lord to pack it all in now. Do what you can, I’ll be waiting for you when you’re done.” His head leans on your shoulder as he sighs deeply.

“Must I?” he asks, “couldn’t I just stop, leave and be with my loving wife who is carrying the product of our love.”

“I want nothing more than for you to give it all up,” you confessed, “but we have to think about the safety of the Galaxy our child we grow up in. If we give it all up now, how safe will they be?” Maker, Anakin hated it when you were right. He kissed your shoulder as he understood what he had to do, it was his duty not only as a Jedi, or as the Chosen One, but as a father.

You both sat there a while, letting his hand gently rub over your stomach as he just let himself be happy for one moment.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

True to his word Anakin went into overtime, researching every corrupt politician and sleeping only what was necessary to function. Determined to take care of Grievous and the Sith before your child was born. You kept him updated from Naboo, telling him how the baby’s room was coming along, telling him how much you loved him and how much you feel the baby loves him too. You decided to keep the fact that you were carrying twins a secret as a surprise when he came home.

The Council did not handle your resignation well, all but calling you selfish for leaving the Order at such a desperate time. But you didn’t care about the Council’s reaction, but the sight of your former Master with the look of betrayal and disbelief in his eyes shook you. Kin was not the most affectionate Master in the Order. But he was kind in his own way, he had been the only father you’ve ever known. Sadness filled you as your Master did not say one word the entire time. You hoped one day, when all was said and done, that he would forgive you, and that you would see him again.

After you handed in your Jedi robes, you debated on giving up your saber. You held the ornate handle, fingers tracing it’s markings delicately. On one hand you knew you should, to symbolize that you gave up on the Jedi way completely. But you also knew that the galaxy was dangerous, now more than ever, and it would be wise to keep it if not for protection. After giving up your robes and other things that signified your affiliation with the Order you gathered your things and left.

You traveled to Naboo and immediately got to work, at first you struggled, never having a space all your own before. Even your room at the temple belonged to the Order so you struggled with decorating it and making it feel like a home. But Padme, who had been your biggest supporter since the beginning of your marriage with Anakin, helped. She taught you how to shop, not just for the necessities, but for things that hold no purpose than just to please you. Even going as far as to pay for it herself. You tried telling her it was too much but she insisted. Claiming that it was the least she could do for you and her godchildren.

Soon enough the little house you had bought turned into a beautiful home. It had three bedrooms, one for you and Anakin, one for the twins, and an extra one for when they got older and they wanted a room on their own. Yours and Anakin’s was a decent size, with a closet and a dresser big enough for the two of you. The bed was soft and big, big enough for the both of you. You had filled it with only soft things, like flowers and carpets. The sheets were in a traditional Naboo pattern, as a picture of you and Anakin that you had kept carefully hidden at the temple sat on your nightstand.

The baby’s room held two cribs, they were both made of the trees surrounding your home and safe for them a few toys and yellow blankets. Above the cribs were mobiles that Anakin had made and sent over with Padme when she last visited Coruscant, wanting to at least contribute that to the baby’s room. They were beautiful and colorful. Beads of blue and green hunt off of them as tiny planets scattered amongst the blue and green. But right in the middle you recognized two figurines, one was of Anakin and he was holding you. You wept for 2 hours after receiving them.

You didn’t sleep much despite how cozy your new home had become, you couldn’t help it. You missed him, but most of all you worried for him. You worried that you were holding him back from his destiny, his dreams of being the most powerful Jedi that had ever lived; but you also worried about the dark side in him, you knew that the stronger the force is the stronger the pull to the dark side. He was conceived by the Force, his Midi Chlorian count was greater than Master Yoda’s, if he would turn to the dark side all would be lost.

During one of your talks Anakin had admitted that his dreams were getting worse. He dreamt of fire, of you dying in childbirth and he worried about what it meant. If it was true. You wished you could hold him, but all you could do was assure him that it wasn’t true.

“You’re getting closer to finding the Sith,” you said to him, “the Sith lie my love, they can implant visions and manipulate you to lead you down a path that leads to the darkside. They manipulate and give false promises, the fact that they can do it to you while you sleep in the temple can only mean one thing.” Anakin’s eyes widened.

“They must be close.” Anakin whispered. Even though you both had always been chaotic in your own way. Your logic was outstanding, leading him to an important piece of the puzzle.

“Exactly,” you smiled, “guard your mind. Reinforce your mental barriers and be wary. I promise you, everything will be alright.”

“But what if this isn’t the Sith,” Anakin asked worriedly, “I’m sure the Sith didn’t implant those visions of my mother all those years ago.” You were silent, your face deep in thought as you replayed what happened three years ago. Anakin had been receiving those visions a few days prior to her abduction, but something about her abduction never settled right with you. Why her, you understood that the Tusken’s raided and kidnapped people all the time. But they usually held them for ransom, not for torture. Your eyes widened a small bit as you came to the conclusion that this Sith had been playing the long game, skillfully and tactfully luring the chosen one to the dark side.

“What,” Anakin asked concerned, “what is it.”

“I never understood why what happened to your mother unsettled me so.” You started, “but now I do.” You took a deep breath as you searched for the words to tell him, “You once told me the Tuskan’s were savages, that they believed that everyone else were trespassers and were to pay them a toll.” Anakin nodded, remembering telling you that, “that they killed.” Another nod, “An,” you started slowly, “are they known to torture their victims? Even prolonging their torture for longer than a few days?”

It felt like the world stopped for Anakin. He thought about that day at least once everyday, but not once did he ask himself why. The Tusken’s just raided and killed, sometimes they held hostages but not for long, most certainly never a month. That wasn’t like the Tusken’s at all, because torturing an innocent woman didn’t benefit them. All at once Anakin understood what you were trying to tell him, and anger rushed in his veins. His eyes narrowed at the ground under him. He took a few deep breaths, careful not to show you his anger, he didn’t want to worry you. His blue eyes looked up from the ground, his shoulders tense as he strained against acting out.

“I wish you were here,” Anakin admitted rubbing his hand over his face, “I only talked with you for a few minutes and already you’ve made things clearer. I just…I just wish I could hold you.” You wished the same thing, wanting nothing more than to hold him and try to keep him together. But if you went to him now, everything you worked so hard for would go to waste. Your swollen stomach would give everything away. You’ve risked everything for this, for a life with him. But as you see the man you love shaking, you remember the commitment you made to him the day you became husband and wife. Even in secret you would love him and be there for him.

As the call ended you were already packing, all would be fine if you managed to sneak into the temple without being seen.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

There was a little hidden entry way you and Anakin would use when you were both young Padawan’s, often to sneak out of a lesson. You were surprised that you were able to fit through it.

You used the damp and dusty entry, took the first left and then a right where you knew you would be at an abandoned wing of the temple. It wasn’t too far from the meditation rooms, where most of your lessons were held. You were sure to keep the large cloak on your body with the hood up, covering your face. Hoping that would be enough to conceal you until you got to Anakin’s room. The Jedi Knight living quarters were a five minute walk from where you were and Anakin’s room was on the far end of the living quarters. You made sure to use caution as you moved through the halls, keeping your heart calm and moving like you belonged there. Soon enough you had moved through the hallways undetected, or so you thought. Just as you were about to enter Anakin’s room you heard footsteps, your eyes teared a little as you recognized their footsteps.

“Anakin,” Kin had said, “the meeting is abo-” You turned around, carefully hiding your bump in your cloak. Letting your former Master see your face for the first time since you had announced your departure from the Order. Your heart broke a little as you saw the bags that had started to form under his dark eyes. His frame was slimmer and his dark hair now a dark gray.

“Master,” You greeted slightly above a whisper. Kin continued to look at you for a second before turning his head both ways before ushering you inside. Making sure to lock the door behind him.

“Did anyone see you?” He asked worriedly, it wasn’t that former Jedi’s weren’t welcome back to the temple, but it did rouse suspicion when they were sneaking into a current Jedi’s room.

“You taught me better than to get caught.” You said, you saw his shoulders sag in relief. For a moment there was silence.

“I have a question to ask you,” he said, still facing the door, “and please, do this kindness for your former Master and answer it truthfully.” You nodded behind him, “Why did you leave the Order?” You didn’t know how to answer without lying, taking your continued silence he spoke further, “You were well on your way to becoming a Master. You were talented and smart and you could have been on the Council in record time. Yet you left, it is a Master’s greatest sorrow to see his Padawan, someone that he has trained and raised, waste their potential.” Your silence ensued, guilt consuming you for your silence. Moments pass by, one by one until Kin speaks again. “Is it your feelings for Anakin that you left the Order?” He turned around to look at you, your eyes widened as his dark eyes give off a knowing look.

“When-How-What-”

“I know the look of love well,” Kin revealed, “I too once had that look in my eyes.” he sighed as he continued, “but he and I were on two different paths. We could not be together as we wished so it was better to leave it alone. Let those feelings fade with the memory of each other.” He gave a small smile, “I do think about him sometimes though, in my loneliest moments.” He looked at you for another moment, “you and he would’ve gotten along.” He placed a hand on your shoulder, tears pricked your eyes as you saw your former master reveal more of himself. Trusting you with the knowledge that he too, had broken the code and fallen in love. Then, for the first time in your life without a life or death situation, you hugged your master. You wrapped your arms around him and cried, at first he stiffened. Your Master was not the affectionate sort, or at least, you thought he wasn’t as his arms tentatively wrap around you as well.

“How long have you known?” You asked as you let go of him.

“Long enough.” He said, “but you didn’t answer my question little one, why did you leave the order?” he asked quizzically, “did he hurt you? Was it the pressure of a secret love? What happened? You can tell me, you’re safe.” You wiped the few tears that snuck past your eyes off with the sleeve of your cloak before finally removing it. His eyes widened as he saw your stomach. You were about five and a half months. Swollen enough to be noticeable but easily concealed with a large cloak. There was a moment, before Kin looked at you in the eyes very intensely.

“Does Anakin know?”

“Yes.” You responded.

“Is this the reason why you left?” he asked, you nodded, “how did he handle the news?” You saw his hand inch over to his saber on his belt, you laughed a little as you felt Kin’s thoughts.

“He was more excited than I was,” You responded, grabbing your master’s hand, “so there’s no need to turn to the dark side so quickly.”

“Not today then,” he muttered as you motioned for you to sit on one of the crates. With little difficulty you managed to sit, with Kin taking a seat in front of you. You informed him of your life after the Order, how you were settled on Naboo, close friends with Padme (his nose scrunched a little at the thought of you being friends with a politician). You told him of Naboo’s beauty and invited him to visit anytime he wished to. You both talked as you waited for Anakin to arrive.

It wasn’t until sun down that Anakin arrived in his room. The Council meeting had run into overtime without Master Kin to give his say in things. He was tired, and angry, and wanted nothing more than to sleep in your arms. Anakin arrived at his door when he sensed two people inside, his hand gripped his saber as he opened the door. Ready to attack in case, however he was surprised at the sight of Master Kin but that was nothing compared to the sight of you. Without the blurriness of the video feed he could see you fully and clearly, it took everything in him not to run to you, hold you against his chest and never let go.

“An,” you said, getting up from the crate instinctively Anakin rushed to help you up. Grabbing your hand in his and supporting your back, rubbing soothing circles into it.

“I’ll just see myself out,” Kin said, getting up himself and walking over to the door, “I won’t tell a soul you’re here, you have my word.” he promised before finally leaving you alone with your husband who by now was very confused.

A few moments pass before Anakin envelops you in an embrace, careful of the obvious bump. “I missed you my Angel.”

“I missed you as well my love.” You say as you remain in his arms, “after our call last night I had to see you.”

“I’m glad you did,” Anakin said pulling away enough to press your forehead against his, “but it’s-”

“Risky,” you finished his sentence, “I know.” You press your lips against his cheek, “but I made a vow to you. Even in secret I would love you, that I would stay by you throughout all tribulations of our lives; and right now you are going through one. I need you and you need me, that’s all there is to that.” You motioned toward the regular sized bed, “lay with me my love.” Anakin follows you and helps you lay down before joining you. You feel the familiar coarse fabric of the blanket and the firmness of the mattress below, it reminds you of your Jedi days, although you had stopped being a Jedi only a few months ago; it felt like a lifetime.

Anakin rested his dark sandy hair on your chest, you wrapped your arms around him, playing with the strands freely while he played with your unoccupied hand.

“I promise you,” Anakin starts, “once the General Grevious is dealt with, and once the Sith are dealt with I will get you a ring, one you can wear proudly and publically.” He kisses each finger tip, his lips traveling upward, to the crook of your arm and all the way to your shoulder. Just mere minutes ago he was tired and wanting, but now with you here. He was starving now as well, it had been so long since he got to be with you so intimately. Even now as you hold him in your arms, he craves more. He needs to feel you, to know that you are real.

“My love,” you whisper as his lips reach the curve of your neck, his lips biting and sucking, leaving an obvious mark on you. Seeing the red splotch form had him turn feral, you no longer needed to hide his mark on you with high collars and makeup. His plush lips crash onto yours as you both moan, his hands ghosting up your baby bump and to your breast. Even as your breasts are protected over clothing, the mere touch of him alone has made you desperate.

“My love,” you whisper again, sitting up and taking his face in your hands. His eyes were dark with lust as he craved you more, “my love,” you whispered again trying (and failing) to hold in the whiny whimper that threatened to escape you as your husband's large, rough hands continued to massage your larger breasts. “I need you.”

“I need you as well,” he said as he leaned in for a kiss, only to be stopped. Your eyes held a look he was unfamiliar with.

“I need you to listen to me,” you stated unsure about how to go about this. You were always a certain body type, and the last time Anakin had seen your body it was when your pregnancy was in its early stages. You were worried about how he was going to react, now that stretch marks littered almost every inch of your body. Your stomach and breasts most of all, some local women in the Naboo market had sold you a cream to help the stretch marks, but some days you were just too tired. “I’m not like I was the last time we made love.”

“I know,” Anakin said, taking his hand away from your breast and gently resting it on your abdomen, “you’re carrying life my Angel, and no matter what form you take.” He gently rubs your stomach as he grabs one hand from his face, kissing your fingers, “you could be seven feet,” he kisses your palm, “or a gundark,” he kisses the pulse point of your wrist his lips lingering there, “or even a man,” he nips at the pulse, exciting you, “I will always want to be with you.” His lips were on yours as you moaned, “will you have me, my Angel?”

“Yes,” you say immediately, you both stood up, each other’s lips never leaving the other. You undressed him, cursing how many layers he wore. You roughly pulled at the belt wrapped around him, urging it to come undone. After months without his touch you often found yourself with a hand between your thighs, imagining it was your husband's fingers instead of yours. Anakin thought he was starving, well, you were ravenous. You bit his lips and suckled on his lower lip as he let out a moan. Meanwhile Anakin was taking his time undressing you, as though you were fragile. And while you loved that side of him, right now you needed him on you or in you.

Once undressed you fought the urge to hide yourself. Anakin stared at you, his face giving nothing away as you were silently hoping he hadn’t changed his mind. After a few minutes of him staring you go to gather your clothes, only for your clothes to be ripped away from you.

“I was going to go easy on you,” Anakin whispered hotly against the shell of your ear, wrapping his muscular arms around you to grab your breasts tightly, toying with your hardened nipples; nearly making your knees buckle, “I was going to massage your entire body, worship you like the angel you are.” He kisses the back of your neck, sending tingles down your spine, “then I was going to eat your pretty pussy out, have you beg for my cock in you again,” his arms left your breast to rub over your belly, “beg me to make you pregnant again.” You're practically shaking as his hands roam over your body, pregnancy hormones making your body more sensitive than before. Already feeling your arousal drip down your legs, “and I will do all that,” you feel his hardened length against you, grinding into your ass, “later. Right now I need to be inside you, I need to have you wrapped around me because if I don’t I feel like I might die.” You moan as you reach for him behind you, stroking his hard length, the head already dripping precum, you heard him groan and moan into your ear as his hands traveled south, where you needed him most. Collecting your slick, rubbing your sensitive, engorged clit. You let out a silent cry as you hold onto the wall of muscle behind you for stability. “You’re already so wet for me my Angel, have you missed me Angel?” You nodded frantically as he drew lazy circles around your clit, “have you thought of me often?”

“Yes,” you moan, “I thought of you everyday.” his circles become tighter, “I touched myself thinking of you,” you pump his cock faster now causing him to groan, “I thought about you eating me out and your cock inside me,” you fail to hold back the moan that falls from your lips as he lightly smacks your clit. “Oh my god please fuck me.” You felt him chuckle slowly before he asked, “how?” you knew he was asking which position would be better for you, and it warmed your heart to know that even in this moment when you both want nothing more than for the other to fuck you, that he still thought about you and what made you feel better.

“Bend me over,” you said, leaning over so you were on your hands and knees over the bed. Spread out and waiting for him, if Anakin had to wait one more second he was going to explode. He lined himself up with your entrance and buried himself in you with one slick stroke. Grabbing your hips to pull your ass flush against him, giving you a second to adjust as he tried not to cum immediately.

“Maker, you feel like heaven,” he moaned, “could’ve sworn you were made for me Angel.”

And at that he began thrusting, pulling out, letting you feel every drag of his cock before he slammed it back in. Causing you to scream in pleasure, dropping to your elbows and grabbing his pillow to try to stifle your cries of pleasure. Tears streamed down your face as he just felt so damned good. Your nippled brush against the kinda rough fabric of his blanket, the idea of him going feral over how your ass jiggled with each hard thrust of his hip, he hit your most sensitive spot over and over and over. Oh maker, you were about to cum.

“Anakin,” you moaned, “Anakin I’m so close oh my, please right there don’t stop!”

“C’mon Angel,” He lowly growled in your ear smacking your ass, “be a good girl and cum for me.”

At that your body shook as you just experienced heaven and hell at the same time. Your orgasm ripped through you so violently that you couldn't see which was up or down.

Meanwhile Anakin thrusted harshly a few more times before finally finishing inside, his body on fire as he realized how addicted you both had become to each other.

Anakin pulled out of you slowly, cleaning you up with the spare towel he kept close by. Wiping you and then himself before settling you on your side before sliding in next to you, his hands gently rubbing your stomach.

“Maker, I hope this kid is durable because we are definitely doing that again.”

You breathlessly laugh as you turn around to face him, fingers trailing his jawline.

“You mean children.”

“What?”

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Anakin had meant what he said, that night he had made love to you 3 times, ripping four orgasms from you before finally settling down for the night. You both didn’t wake until at least noon. You supposed you had your Master to thank, must have made an excuse for you both to sleep in. You tried to get up as you felt the delicious ache between your thighs, you smiled vaguely at it. A reminder of last night.

You both quickly washed and ate after that, he snuck in food from the hall in order to feed you. And then you both got to work, settling quickly into business mode.

Your main concern right now was the Sith, because you were positive that Grievous was working with the Sith if not for. While Anakin was focused on vengeance.

You both knew the Sith lord had to be close to the Order, either directly or indirectly, that they had to have some power or influence beyond their Sith title. Meaning that they were either a Jedi or part of the Senate. Considering that they would have to be physically close to Anakin to implant visions and mess with his mind and to spy on him.

You had a list but it needed to be smaller. Possible suspects were Yoda, Windu, Palpatine, and Obi Wan.

Obi Wan’s name was almost immediately crossed out by Anakin.

“He’s too much of a kiss up to the Council to be against them” Anakin had said as he crossed Obi’s name out.

“What would Yoda have to benefit from a system he practically shaped?” You asked as you crossed Yoda’s name off.

Finally only two remained, Master Windu; second only to Yoda in terms of power and skill. And Palpatine, the charismatic Chancellor who was elected into office thirteen years ago before the Clone Wars began.

Both of your brains were fried, and having to pee every five seconds was getting in the way of progress. You were frustrated, and just tired. Eventually you both just laid in bed, holding each other. He was rubbing soothing circles on your back when suddenly he shot out of bed.

“It’s Palpatine,” he said as he crossed Windu’s name off the list. You sat straight up as you looked in his eyes, widened and crazed. “Palpatine is the Sith.”

“How do you know that?” You asked.

“Just a feeling.” He said darkly, “a very strong feeling.” You nodded, seeing it check out. Something about the chancellor always threw you off anyways.

“Alright,” You said, believing him, “now what do we do.”

“We show everyone.” Anakin said, “we show everyone who he is.”

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Anakin's plan had worked beautifully, with your help he had managed to record every interaction between him and Palpatine. Working information out of him was easier than Anakin thought, but it turns out that when people think you believe them they’ll say anything.

They quickly got Grievous's location and substantial evidence of him being Sith.

However, Anakin would not turn all this evidence in.

Not until he avenged his mother.

So there he was, surrounded by fire and Palpatine shooting lightning out of his hands. Struggling between the light and the dark. Feeling a strong pull to both, even with Palpatine’s deformed face leering at him as he was on his knees, physically beaten. He couldn’t help but itch towards his lightsaber, wondering if Sith blood taints a Kyber crystal. The galaxy would be better for it, no more Sith.

“Do it!” Sidious hissed with a cracked smile on his lips, “strike me down in anger and become what you were always meant to be…Darth Vader!” For a moment he felt your signature, he looked back around and saw you, only you. You were sending him a message through the force.

“You are Anakin Skywalker,” you eyes pleaded with him, “you are from Tatooine, you grew up around coarse sand and two suns. You had a loving mother, who loved you so much and you loved her. You are not made of the same cloth as him, you are made out of something better, something softer. You are made of love, you love and give without any greed because you know what it’s like to have nothing. You love with your whole soul, never any less. You love Obi Wan Kenobi, your Master, your brother, your father, your best friend. You had loved me since we were children, and I, you. I am sorry that the galaxy has only shown you a fraction of that love in return. But there are people who love you unconditionally. You are Anakin Skywalker, and only you can defeat the Sith.”

You hoped he got your message, and by the tears in blue eyes you can see the yellow fade, as your heart skipped a beat.

Anakin smiled at you before turning to face the Sith on his knees, a confused and terrified look on his face.

“I am Anakin Skywalker,” he raised his saber, “I strike you down in the name of peace and balance in the Force.” and with that Sidious was no more, he was well and truly dead. You ran to Anakin who had opened his arms to catch you. Burying his face in your hair, inhaling your scent as finally the weight on his shoulders lifted.

“Time to go home.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“My love, have you seen your daughter?!” You asked loudy pretending not to notice the small shoes peeking out underneath the curtain and ignoring the soft giggles of her laughter. It has been 7 years since Anakin defeated the Sith, he captured Grievous soon after. Anakin provided the necessary evidence in order to justify what he had done, Yoda and Windu wanted to make him a Master and join their Council but were quickly astounded as he refused the offer and instead handed in his resignation claiming his time with the Jedi was now over.

Obi Wan found out why shortly after as Anakin invited him to Naboo for a visit only to be met with you and Anakin in domestic bliss with your very round stomach.

When you first moved into the small house and had it all decorated you never understood why it didn’t feel like home. Not until Anakin came home, seeing him in the living room, and bedrooms, seeing him add his own touches made it truly feel like home.

Obi Wan and Kin often dropped by, both of them already fighting over who the “grand-master” was and who got to be the first to babysit. Padme had heard all about your adventure. Needless to say you would rather face Gundarks naked then be on the receiving end of her wrath again.

Soon after it all was settled you gave birth to the twins, Leia Shimi Skywalker and Luke Benjamin Skywalker. You didn’t know much about your biological parents, only that their names were Leia and Luke, and since you were naming them after yours, you and Anakin decided their middle names should be his. His mother and the closest thing he ever had for a father.

Obi Wan couldn’t hold Luke without crying for a few hours.

After the first time he held Luke, Obi Wan hugged Anakin and said softly. “You are my brother Anakin, I love you.” you could see your blue eyed husband hold back a few tears as he returned the hug.

“I love you too Obi Wan.”

While Leia looked after her kind grandmother Shimi, she was basically Anakin in a small girl’s body. The amount of sass she contained in her small frame astounded you, but it warmed your heart to see how wrapped Anakin was around her small finger. Always had been, ever since she took her first breath.

Meanwhile Luke was kinder, he looked just like Anakin with his tufts of sandy blonde hair and bright blue eyes. However, he seemed to have gotten most of his personality from you and from Padme who often came around and that the twins referred to as “Auntie Padme.”.

Life was happy as you chased your rambunctious twins through the house, laughing and squealing as Anakin lifted them both in his arms and pressed a loving kiss to your lips.

Sometimes you would ask Anakin if he was happy, if he regretted rejecting the position of Master, something he had always wanted.

He would always respond with a kiss to your forehead, and then your closed eyelid, your nose, your flushed cheeks until finally settling on your lips. Whispering, “If I woke up tomorrow in my bed on Tatooine, nine years old with my mother knowing what I know now. I wouldn’t do one thing differently, I would choose this every.single.time.”

So years go by, and you remember the moments that lead you to where you are now. All the heartbreak and sorrow, all the hiding and secrets, and all the happy moments that followed after. You realized that these moments would stick with you for as long as you live. Each and every one.

Taglist for this:

@5aturne

@mrscutiefandobhaz

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absurduty · 1 month

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Hi lovelies, if anyone is interested in a fanfiction about Anakin Skywalker falling in love with a Jedi from Earth then I’d ask u to read mine! ♡︎ wattpad: Valyriandistrict02

#anakin skywalker #anakin x reader #star wars anakin #anakin x you #obi wan and anakin #anakin fanfiction #anakin imagine #star wars #star wars oc #star wars fanfiction #anakin x oc #anakin x y/n #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker x you #anakin x fem reader #anakin skywalker x female reader #anakin skywalker x oc

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miseries-mistress · 2 years

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JEALOUSY | OBI-WAN KENOBI

Synopsis: Jealousy. It's an emotion that floods your mind, filling you with anger, possession, envy, and, most of all, hate. All things you have been taught to resist against because such emotions are a path to the dark side. But it's all you feel as you stare into the eyes of Satine Kryze, a woman you've never met before, as she hangs off obi wan like a piece of arm candy. Oh yeah, you're jealous, alright, and you can't do a thing about it.

Warnings: female reader, CW SEASON 2 SPOILER, jealousy, satine, slight angst, eventual fluff, lousy writing, no spice. W/C: 3671

Notes: i just got to the mandalore plot a couple weeks ago, and i can not stand satine. i am taking my emotions out in my writing. not very good, and i know i say this a lot, but truly, this could have been a lot better

star wars masterlist

You were never patient. It was something Obi-Wan chastised you for on numerous occasions. Your impatience taking hold of you was something you've tried to get rid of in various instances, yet it still remained as prominent as ever. That's probably why your feet were tapping nervously against the landing pad. A couple of clones that occupied your side watched your behavior with interest. Most of them were used to your constant restlessness and had come to terms with it being part of your personality. However, your nerves seemed to soar even higher on this occasion, and they could tell.

Obi-Wan was returning from his mission on Mandalore, where the duchess had been accused of siding with the Separatists. Due to Obi-Wan's…history with said duchess, the council sent him to converse with her about the recent events in that system. Your loud protests against their decision to sit you out resulted in Anakin being sent as backup after a bombing had been reported. Now, you awaited them as Duchess Satine and four other neutral senators arrived in the busy city of Coruscant to plead their case to the Senate.

An enormous vessel roared noisily above your head before docking on the pad. The ramp unfolded a moment later, revealing Obi-Wan and Anakin strutting out, their heads held high. Anakin's eyes found yours, and he waved, his hand stretching high above his head, a broad smile overcoming his face.

Obi-Wan caught sight of Anakin's behavior and followed his gaze to what had him so intrigued. When his eyes met yours, they eased instantly, and you could see the thinly veiled relief behind his eyes. A smile of his own twitched at the corners of his mouth as his pace sped up in an effort to reach you sooner.

It didn't surprise you to see the duchess leading the other senators off the ship but what did surprise you was how close she resided to Obi-Wan's side. The Duchess Satine, who you've never seen in person, was beautiful. Her blonde hair tied up into a tight headpiece that resided upon her head, displaying her culture proudly. The rest of her outfit matched her headdress, the colors consisting of elegant shades of blue and purple that dripped over her perfect figure. Even from a distance, you could see the pride that sparkled in her eyes, exhibiting her love for who you could guess by how she virtually hung off Obi-Wan, who it was directed at.

You felt your mood deflate faster than a balloon, your irises instantly losing their existing gleam. You felt a feeling, one you weren't acquainted with, wrap like tendrils around your mind, squeezing every insecurity to the forefront of your head. It was an ugly feeling that didn't belong among your happiness and joy that seemed to disappear when she left the ship, chatting excitedly with your master. And even though a minuscule thought in the back of your mind noticed how Obi-Wan remained transfixed on you, robotically nodding his head to whatever she was saying, his attention solely fixated on you. As soon as the thought arose, you extinguished it. Why would he be more focused on you, with such a beautiful woman at his side? Sure, you were his lover, but the secrecy tied a noose around your neck. The pressure of the rope was a constant reminder of how your futures as Jedi were balancing on a knife edge. Yet as Obi-Wan neared, his sparkling aquamarine eyes never dimmed, your thoughts doing nothing to aid you.

Obi-Wan's smile slipped as he noticed your lack of response to his arrival. He had fantasized about arriving home and seeing your face light up in delight at the thought of seeing him again. It was a reaction he had come to expect, and his mind wandered to the possibilities of what could have put you in such a sour mood.

And before you knew it, Obi-Wan embraced you, letting his powerful arms cocoon around you, sheathing you in their warmth and safety. You tried to relax to savor the feeling of your love by your side. However, your insecurities bubbled to the surface, leaving you in a mixture of gloom and cowardice. The professional amount of time allotted for a hug passed in seconds as he pulled away, concern filling his striking features.

"Master," you addressed him, bowing at the waist ever so slightly.

"Little one." Obi-Wan returned your gesture with ease. "Duchess, this is my padawan, Y/N L/N."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, my lady," you bowed your head, and she slightly bristled at the formalities. You glimpsed at Obi-Wan to find him equally as surprised as you at her utter dismissal of you.

The senators behind her meet up with Chancellor Palpatine, loudly chatting as they near their transport. Anakin looked over his former master's shoulder before engulfing you in a hug, which you eagerly returned.

"Hi there," he laughed, and you found yourself laughing along with him. You nestled your head into Anakin's shoulder, inhaling the smell of dirt and ashes that seemed to stick to his robes. Obi-Wan furrowed his brows at your enthusiasm to see Anakin, a feeling he did not expect to recognize bubbling from the depths of his gut. His mind bristled with prospects of your mood change as you two pulled apart, smiling at each other.

The duchess bowed her head at you, turning away a second later. You could, for only a moment, see the flash of an unknown emotion cross her face. You could tell from the brief moment you did see it that it was something to disdain directed at you.

Her attention shifted to Obi-Wan, who had moved to your side.

"How ironic to meet again only to find we're on opposing sides," she solemnly noted.

"The needs of your people are all that matter," Obi-Wan replied, "They couldn't be in better hands with you to guide their future."

"Kind words indeed from a mindful and committed Jedi," she commented, taking another step forward, "And yet..." Satine placed a manicured finger on her red lips, looking down at the floor.

"What?" he asked, much too eagerly than you would have preferred. You felt that feeling in your chest stir once more, and your loathing for the woman you hardly knew grow with every passing second. Anakin seemed to be the only one to notice the increasing emotion emanating from you during their interaction. With increasing amusement, he watched your hand clench and unclench into fists. It was so apparent that you were jealous that he fought the urge to roll his eyes. Hell, he could feel its slight ripple in the force. It wasn't strong enough for anyone else to pick up on, but he knew you well enough to put the pieces together.

"I'm still not sure about the beard," she finished, stepping up to him. She reached out, her hand running down his jaw and over the prickly hair that tickled your face every time you kissed. Your jaw clenched. That was something only you did. Only you ran your hands over his neatly trimmed facial hair, admiring every feature on his face and placing feather-light kisses on every crease, indent, and scar he bore. The feeling you've now identified as jealousy rolled in waves over your heart.

"Why, what's wrong with it?" Obi-Wan sincerely asked, the crease between his eyebrows deepening. You grew more envious when he genuinely invested himself in every word she spoke, as if she was a preacher and he was her faithful follower, taking every word from her makeup-stained lips to heart. It was how he acted when you spoke, and now he looked at her how he looks at you like you hung every star in the sky, which made the cracks in your heart expand; the jealousy starting to wither into insecurity.

"It hides too much of your handsome face." She cupped his cheek gingerly, her hand brushing over his cheekbone. Obi-Wan made no attempts to move it or swat it away like he would with any other person who touched him without his permission. No, from your view, he invited such a touch, letting her soft honeyed words hang in the air. Her hand reluctantly slipped off his face, and she turned back, heading in the direction where her escort awaited her.

Anakin's inquisitive irises diverted to Obi-Wan, who watched as the duchess left without so much as turning back. He chuckled at Obi-Wan's dumbfounded expression, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"What was that all about?" he asked, following his master's stare at the woman. Anakin's eyes flitted to your figure, and your expression made his heart sink into his stomach, his curiosity draining into something much more sullen. From an outsider's point of view, you remained unaffected by the interaction, looking with disinterest at the duchess as she bored the transport, but to Anakin, he saw beyond the thickly built wall you had placed between your exterior and your emotions. He could see the underlying insecurity that filled your eyes, and he could feel it in your presence. It was vague enough that you had to put the concentration into your signature to recognize it, but your jealousy ebbed away into something much more consuming; uncertainty. His sympathy grew as you turned away, hurrying through the double doors and into the Temple, leaving Obi-Wan and him alone on the platform.

Obi-Wan turned around, fully expecting to face you, only to meet with Anakin, whose previously teasing expression had vanished into solemnity.

"Where did Y/N wander off to?" Obi-Wan asked, his blue irises scrutinizing the platform for any sign of you.

"She left while you were ogling the duchess." Anakin crossed his arms over his chest, his eyes narrowing with distaste.

"I was not ogling her, Anakin," he scoffed, "Why did she leave?" His own nervousness grew at your sudden disappearance. Something was very, very wrong, and from your facial expression when he arrived to now, he was at a loss as to what was transpiring inside your pretty head.

"Well, if you weren't too busy giving heart eyes to your "old friend," then you would know that for yourself."

"Don't say it like that, Anakin. We are nothing more than friends." He scoffs, his hand running down the scratchy hair of his beard.

"Yes, because you just let anyone touch your face, no less your beard."

"She did that of her own volition Anakin. I-" he attempted to defend himself once more, feeling his patience wearing thin.

"You didn't stop her."

"Why are you arguing with me? It was a harmless action."

"That's what you think."

It clicked. At that moment, your behavior clicked in Obi-Wan's mind, and he knew the root of your sudden behavior change. You were jealous.

His realization must have been reflected in his features because Anakin patted his back. "I'll leave you to it."

He signaled for Rex and headed inside the building with him, making conversation as the doors closed. As Obi-Wan began to move to try and find you, a clone called out his name. He turned around, folding his arms over his chest.

"Sir, the council is requesting your presence." Obi-Wan nodded, and the clone took off in the other direction, saluting his superior before they descended into chatter. Now it was Obi-Wan's turn to steam in his irritation. He knew giving you time to simmer in your jealousy would only intensify the feeling. He needed to talk matters over now, but the council wouldn't accept Obi-Wan's late arrival. He huffed, storming off toward the Temple, where the council would be awaiting his arrival.

—

Night had fallen, and the stars danced above Obi-Wan as he speeds to your apartment in an un-composed jumble of nerves. Every second he's spent on his journey to you, his thoughts have whirled around different possible scenarios on what he could say, playing the interaction back in his mind. He should have known Satine, a ghost from his past would be a touchy subject for you. It's not that he never intended for you to find out; he just never found the right time to discuss it. You two were always so busy with the council, training, then now the war that your alone time was reserved for sleeping after a long day. It wasn't ideal, but you made it work, which is one of the many things he admires about you; your willingness to compromise.

He should have known. That was all he could think about as he tried to control his pace in the Temple for fear of someone seeing him in such a hurry. Of course, Satine would have tried to rekindle the old flame of love they once had when he was merely a padawan learner. It made sense, a history like that wasn't easily forgotten, but she was oblivious to his attempts to subtly deflect her advances the entire time he was on Mandalore. She didn't appear to get the memo on the landing pad, instead pushing her affections further.

He should have known Satine's very apparent feelings would stir up jealousy. Having endured other padawan's advances towards you, he was no stranger to the emotion. Now it was his turn to give you the comfort you needed.

His hand wrapped against the white steel of your door, fiddling with his fingers while he anxiously waits for a response. There is none, not even movement from inside.

His fist knocks on the door once more, his dread building as he is met with silence. He knew you were in the room. He could feel your force signature tainted with feelings of contempt swirling around the small apartment. He sighed, running his hand down his face, his eyes bouncing about the corridor. Obi-Wan dug out his spare key and placed it in the lock. It clicked as he stuffed the key back in his robes, taking the cold metal between his fingers.

What did he intend to say anyways? He used to harbor feelings of attachment for the quick-witted woman, but now he only cares for you? Care would not be the right word to accurately describe the depth of his senses. He loved you with every fiber of his being. He loved you, yet you didn't know how far he had fallen. Maybe that was due to the insecurity you didn't feel as deeply as he did, which placed a heavy weight on his heart. He shook his head. That's far from what he should be worrying about. He just needed to tell you the truth, no matter how you reacted.

And with that, he turned the handle and strode in. Your apartment looked like any other, plain with minimal furniture that was as lackluster as every other flat the Jedi were gifted.

"Little one?" he called, shutting the door behind him. It automatically locked while he took a step forward. He sensed your presence concentrated in your bedroom, but before he could step further into your apartment, the door swung open, revealing you in all of your beauty.

"What, master?" you responded, venom lacing your words, and his heart plunged into his stomach at the use of his title. You only use it in public. No matter how mad or angry you were, you never crossed the line into formalities unless you had to. His chest squeezed as he fought the sadness building in his chest at your fiery glare. He never wanted to be the source of your sadness, frustration, or negative emotions, and it killed him to see you in this state because of him.

"Can we talk?" he calmly asked, catching the way your face twisted. Please, he begged through the force.

It felt as though someone was repeatedly stabbing his heart, over and over, while he stared at your expression. You masked your heartbrokenness with a false rage. He could see through the internal struggle behind your eyes as you sifted through your emotions to try and find an appropriate response to his plea. Finally, you pushed yourself off the doorway and back into your room, the door still ajar.

"My dear?" he questioned, unsure of your intentions. Did you want him to follow you? He opened the door further to allow more space to enter. Your profile was silhouetted by the iridescent glow of the moon and artificial light as you sat on your bed, your eyes fixed on a particular spot on the floor. "My dear?" he called, in a softer voice, careful not to startle you. Your eyes lifted, liquid pools of a dazzling color meeting his murky blue. His breath hitched in his throat at the sight of you. Maker, how pure you appeared, sitting so patiently for him while your facade of anger dissolved, leaving your raw emotions of self-consciousness and insecurity behind.

He sat on the bed, next to you, finding himself unable to meet your eyes as they stared at the same spot on the floor.

"I didn't realize you and the duchess..." you muttered, unable to finish the harsh sentence, and Obi-Wan winced. He had everything to lose by discussing this particular argument; by everything, he meant you.

"In my days as a padawan learner, I was sent to Mandalore with my master for a year. The details of the mission are...cruel. The system was in turmoil, to put it simply. At that time, Satine and I had developed feelings for one another. It never progressed into anything more, and when I left, I had forgotten about her to focus on my training once more." Obi-Wan felt like he was stumbling over his words, desperate for you to understand. He tried to reach out with the force but was met with your guard firmly in place, preventing him from wrapping his force signature around your mind like he's done a hundred times before.

"I never loved her, my darling. That was in the past, something that had been buried under the life I'm building with you. She tried to renew something that was never there. Don't you see, my love? You're the only person I dream about at night, the only one I long to hold. The only one I fantasize about kissing. You're the only one I love."

Your head whipped around, your eyes as wide as saucers as you met his. Obi-Wan's eyes glistened with sincerity, and you slowly felt him disable your guard. Both of you knew that you shared this emotion with one another but had never spoken about it before. There was something sacred about those words, so dangerous but oh, so alluring because you had never loved anyone before. You didn't know how to express an emotion that carried such inexplicable weight in words, so you never did. Yet, they hung in the air, like a promise of something more, and you found yourself enraptured by it.

"How do I know that you aren't lying? Hm?" Infuriated tears were beginning to brim in your eyes. You sniffed, your leg bouncing erratically while you turned away from his empathic gaze. Obi-Wan's face fell, the corners of his mouth weighed down by the grief in his head. Years without the feeling of love, without anyone displaying how deeply you mattered, have led you to doubt his own confession's validity. It shattered his heart that he was the first person to tell you such a thing, leaving you believing that you were unlovable.

Obi-Wan's hand brushes against your face, urging you to look at him. You turn your head, and he lowers his hand, cupping your jaw with a raw tenderness that makes all of your fears melt from your head. For a moment, he sits there, eyes closed, breathing your air, and you can feel the pulse in his fingertips. You feel the quickness of his breath and the slight hitch as it catches. He seems nervous.

His lips almost hesitantly meet yours. After kissing hundreds of times, this one seems to have a level of intimacy the others couldn't possibly possess. There was a hidden vow on his lips, one that you chased after to uncover. He unraveled the emotions he had been too afraid to display, so profound and unrefined you couldn't imagine anyone else feeling this way. There was passion, admiration, devotion, purity, connection, and most of all, love that he untangled so tenderly that you felt like you would melt.

His mind was a blank slate, just reeling over the sensation of your rose petal lips over his. You tasted nothing sort of divine as heat flows through his veins, fueling his desire while he tries to convey every ounce of love he bears, a blissful feeling filling his heart. A wonderful whimper was released from your mouth, sending goosebumps down his arms.

He very slowly pulls back, releasing your lips with a wet pop. Obi-Wan glides his hand underneath your chin, running his thumb admiringly across your bottom lip.

"I love you, my dear," Obi-Wan whispers, "please never doubt that again."

"Never."

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anakinskywalkerog · 7 months

Text

My Very Soul (Chapter 33)

Anakin Skywalker x Jedi!Reader

Link to Chapter 32

Warnings: grief!! depression!!! tread lightly!! things will get better, our girl will heal, but please engage with this only if you feel good/healthy yourself! also, drama/angst, but that's what you get from me

Summary: Anakin comforts you after the death of your Master; you wrestle with some difficult truths, and agree to train with someone new

Word Count: 2.7k

It was heavy. There was no other way to explain it. Your grief was a heavy pillow, suffocating you as you lay in your bed. You felt like the sheets might swallow whole you under the weight. The feel of Anakin's arms around you faded in the face of the soft, quiet, heavy feeling pressing on you. It was like being underwater. It was like trying to fight wind stronger than a hurricane. It pushed you down, and you felt like you had no strength to fight against it.

You'd awoken after Felucia in the Temple's medical chamber, Anakin at your side. You had no memory of anything that had happened after Yuma had been killed, and you didn't understand why Anakin looked so full of relief, why he had tears in his eyes at the sight of you. Obi-Wan had simply explained that you had lost consciousness, similar to the way you had when encountering Dooku's presence. Something in Anakin's face told you that it wasn't quite that simple.

Still, you couldn't find it in yourself to care, much, about what had happened after your Master had been taken from you. You couldn't find it in yourself to care about anything at all, other than the arms that remained around you, other than having Anakin by your side. You found that there were times when even that desire started to fade; when you felt the heaviness pressing in and lost any feeling at all.

"Y/N," Anakin whispered, shaking your arm a little, reaching over to run his fingers gently through your thick hair, pushing it away from your face. Every so often he would say something like this, something soft and gentle, like he were trying to make sure you could still hear him.

"I'm here," you replied, not looking at him, but reaching out and gripping his sleeve. Anakin brushed away the tears that fell softly and steadily out of your eyes and onto the sheets of the big bed in your Jedi apartment, situated in the Knight's Billet in the Temple. This is where you had remained for days, barely moving, barely sleeping or eating, struggling to fight the weight in order to keep breathing.

After you had left the medical chambers, you had recounted to the Council how Vyra had lured you into that cave, how she had manipulated the severity of the battle on Felucia and used the Sith dwelling to call to you in order to trap you and 'torture' you. You had told them what she had said of her reason for doing so, her grudge that she had held since you had been assigned your mission on Serenno. You had explained what she had recounted about Dooku and his mysterious "Master"; you'd noticed that Yoda and Windu had shared a look at that information. You couldn't bring yourself to care, at the moment, what that meant. You had struggled for breath, standing in the center of that circle of Jedi atop the tall tower, as you had recounted the last moments of Yuma's life: how she had been in the throes of a horrible vision, caused by the poison that made her live through her worst fears. You could barely get the words out when you described Vyra killing your Master, and taking her lightsaber. Obi-Wan had stood up to walk you out, his hand on your back the whole way back to your apartment, his face grim. You hadn't emerged since.

"Y/N," Anakin said again, stroking your face, your arm. "You need to eat something." You shook your head. The thought of moving at all, let alone eating, drinking, sounded too hard. You felt the heaviness pressing in on you.

"I love you," Anakin said again, and the agony in his presence was like a spark, a stabbing pain that brought you out of the heavy feeling, if only for a moment. Your eyes filled, again, with tears.

"I know," you whispered, looking into his eyes.

"I'll be here with you," Anakin said, reaching forward to kiss your eyelids, brushing the tears away with the gentle press of his lips. "I won't let them make me leave."

"You can't stay forever, Ani," you sighed, curling into him, wishing your words weren't true.

"I won't—"

Anakin cut off his words, feeling the same disturbance in the Force that made your senses heighten. Someone was coming.

A soft knock sounded on the door of the apartment. You and Anakin both looked at each other, sensing the presence that stood outside.

"Maybe he'll leave," you breathed into Anakin's ear, not moving. Anakin remained still, listening. You waited, holding your breath.

"Y/N," you heard, Obi-Wan's soft voice calling through the door as he knocked again. If he came into the apartment, it would only take a few steps past the kitchen for him to see through the open bedroom door, where he would find you and Anakin in bed together—

"What do we do?" you whispered, panicked, your eyes widening. Numb with grief you may be; but if you and Anakin were caught, it could risk your position in the Order. Anakin's eyes darted around, and landed on the tiny wardrobe built into the wall. Jedi Knights were granted little storage space, as they were not to keep possessions of their own.

"Anakin, he'll sense you!" you whispered frantically, but Anakin was already up and running in his boxers to the wardrobe. He sucked in his gut and used the force to close the wardrobe's doors as you heard Obi-Wan's voice sound again from outside the door.

"Y/N, I'm coming in," Obi-Wan said, his voice gentle and suppliant. You pulled yourself up in your bed, fighting against the heaviness in your limbs as you used the Force to summon your robe, hastily throwing it on over your nightgown as the door to your apartment opened and Obi-Wan stepped inside.

"I'm sorry to disturb you," Obi-Wan said as he walked forward to stand in the open door of your bedroom. You knew you probably looked like Moraband; you hadn't visited the refresher in days, and your hair was a tangled mess on your head. You felt Obi-Wan's thoughts linger on the dark circles under your eyes.

"That's all right, Master," you replied, your voice hoarse. Obi-Wan walked forward and pulled the chair near the window around so that it was facing you. You gulped as he turned, looking back to you as if to ask, may I ? You nodded, gesturing that he should sit. Obi-Wan had never been inside your apartment before—his presence startled you enough that you felt the heavy numbness backing away from you.

"I came to bring you this," Obi-Wan said, leaning forward in the chair and pulling something from the pocket of his robes. As he reached out to hand it to you, you sighed in amazement.

"How...?" you asked, leaning forward to take your lightsaber from him and gripping it. You felt each familiar divot of the hilt like you had found an old friend lost to time; you felt the ghosts of tears prickle behind your eyes, and you willed them away.

"I recovered it for you, on Felucia," Obi-Wan responded quietly. "When you were found, in that cave." His tone was careful, quiet, and solemn. "I wanted to return it to you before, but...it seemed a difficult enough moment." You thought back to facing the Council, to the whirlwind of emotions you'd faced upon waking up here, in the Temple, without your Master, for the first time in your life.

"Thank you," you managed to get out, looking back up at him and keeping your tears at bay. He simply nodded. You looked around, feeling awkward, working to keep your gaze anywhere but on the wardrobe behind Obi-Wan's back.

"I also..." Obi-Wan started, and you met his gaze, his face lit by the rays of sun streaming in through the partially closed blinds. "I am also here because I wanted to make a proposition to you."

You squinted, gripping your robe around yourself, inclining your head to indicate that he should continue.

"You are, of course, under no obligation to do so..." Obi-Wan started, rubbing his hands over his mustache and through his beard. "But...I know how important it was to Yuma that you work on your ability, to block out the presences of the Sith." At these words, your heart dropped. The weight came back in full force, pushing you down. It was an effort to keep yourself seated, to not lay back into the sheets and give in to the heaviness that pressed into you. You swallowed, nodding. "I would like to continue your training, in that regard," Obi-Wan said, watching you intently, his voice soft. "Not to pick up where Yuma left off, necessarily. But to work to make sure you are fully in control of your abilities...so that, when the time comes that you must protect yourself, you are as prepared as you can be. I would like to do everything in my power to help you."

You struggled to breathe evenly, working the air in and out of your lungs. You knew that Obi-Wan meant well—that he was trying to show care for you, and for Yuma, by offering to help. And you knew you needed the help, knew now that your susceptibility to the dark side of the Force was a liability. So you couldn't help but hear the unspoken truth behind Obi-Wan's words—that it was your fault, what had happened on Felucia. That if you had made more progress in your lessons with Yuma, she would still...

Be here, you finished in your head, your eyes welling up against your will. You didn't need Obi-Wan to tell you. You knew the truth. You knew who was responsible for Yuma's death.

"Y/N," Obi-Wan started, leaning forward like he wanted to do something to comfort you, but you shook your head, letting the tears fall.

"I'll do it," you said, pushing against the heaviness. "I'll train with you." It was all you could manage. Obi-Wan paused, as if debating, then leaned back in his chair, putting his hand down.

"Good," Obi-Wan replied, his voice contemplative. "I'd like to start right away, given that the war has made it so my time at the Temple is limited. Tomorrow?" You nodded, looking away from him, your face flushed at your embarrassment. You'd never cried in front of Obi-Wan, and you didn't like it—you didn't want to feel weak around him, the Jedi who was always so very much in control. Until recently, you'd thought of yourself and Obi-Wan as similar souls, similar warriors who kept their emotions in check. You now realized that you were useless in more ways than one, that people like Obi-Wan would always surpass you. You wanted to go back to sleep.

"The last thing..." Obi-Wan continued, his voice unnervingly gentle. "I wanted to tell you," he said, leaning forward in his chair, waiting until you looked up to meet his gaze, "that you aren't alone. Though I know that no one and nothing could ever replace what Yuma was to you—to all of us—I want you to know that you still have family, here. That you still have a mentor that cares for you deeply." You blinked, the brazen affection in this statement disarming you.

"And that if you ever need to discuss anything," Obi-Wan continued, "anything, even things that you wouldn't bring to others in the Order, you can come to me. Whenever you need." You could have sworn Obi-Wan glanced infinitesimally toward the wardrobe, but it was so fast, you must have been imagining it.

"Thank you, Obi-Wan," you said, your voice small, your gratitude sincere. You felt so much affection and adoration for the Jedi Master sitting in front of you. You wished only that his faith in you wasn't so displaced. You felt your body shaking, the effort of pushing off the weight beginning to wear on you.

"That's all," Obi-Wan said, smiling at you as he stood, walking toward the door. "I'll expect you in the meditation chambers tomorrow." You nodded, feeling drained. "Don't—don't be unkind to yourself," Obi-Wan added, pausing in the bedroom doorway to turn back to you. "All of this is hard enough as it is." You nodded again, wondering how he could sense what you were thinking so accurately. Obi-Wan turned away, striding for the door to the apartment.

You listened as the front door slid shut, waiting, your heart beating. He didn't return. You sank back into your pillows, pulling the robe around you in a cocoon as you heard the wardrobe door slide open.

Anakin didn't say anything as he lay down next to you, pulling your whole body and cradling it in his arms, burying his face in your hair.

"Training might be a good thing," Anakin whispered, in a tone like he was trying to sound optimistic. You pulled yourself closer to him, your body quivering as if you were cold. You felt the tears at the edge of your eyes again, felt the quivers turn into quiet sobs.

"I'm here," Anakin said, kissing your head and stroking your back. "I'm here." What else could he say? Everything certainly wasn't okay. You tried in vain to calm the sobs, but they continued. Whenever you fought the numbness enough to stave it off, this was what happened. It was, in some ways, worse to feel.

"I should have been there," Anakin said vengefully, his voice shaky, "I shouldn't have left you." You inhaled, quickly, another sob breaking out of you.

"Are you saying—are you saying that you could have prevented it?" You pulled back in Anakin's arms, looking him in the face, your eyes wide. "That it's my fault, that she's...that she's...?" you felt your body continue to shake. Unfamiliar anger pulsed through you, the bitter anger that was only self-directed. You needed somewhere to put it. Nothing made sense, anymore. Your brain turned to fire.

"No, of course—no, Y/N, of course that's not—" Anakin started, alarmed, gripping your arms as you pulled farther away from him.

"You don’t have to say that, because I already know!" you replied, shouting now, as you pulled yourself out of the bed, standing before him. Anakin was on his feet immediately, his arms outstretched for you, but you backed away. "I know what happened is my fault entirely!! If I hadn’t—choked—if I had just listened—"

"Y/N, no, no, that's not it, no, listen to me, that's not..."

"You heard Obi-Wan," you continued, sobbing again. "And you said it yourself. Yuma was right. I was a liability, and because of me, my Master is dead."

"Y/N!" Anakin was shouting now, reaching out for you again, but you pushed him away, backing into the corner of your bedroom and sinking to the floor.

"Just leave," you choked, closing your eyes, feeling the world around you start to sway. "Just go." The world was starting to fade.

"Y/N," Anakin said gently, moving toward you slowly, his arms outstretched like he was approaching a loose rancor. "Y/N, it isn't your fault. None of it was your fault. I didn't think that for one second, and neither does Obi-Wan."

"Just leave," you repeated, softly, your sobs coming freely now. You didn't deserve to be comforted. You wanted to descend into oblivion. You were starting to lose the feeling in your legs, in your arms. You looked around, but saw that your vision was blurring over.

"I can't do that," Anakin murmured softly, and you felt his hands prying at your arms. You hadn't realized you'd been gripping your knees so tightly. You started to breathe quickly. "Look at me, Y/N," Anakin whispered, and you looked around, frantic now, your eyes clouded, unable to see. "Come back to me," Anakin breathed into your ear, and you blinked, his face swimming into view.

"I can't ever leave you," Anakin said, pulling you into his arms right there on the floor. You wanted to reply. You wanted to tell him that you couldn't ever leave him, either. You wanted to promise that the two of you would be together forever. But the world had changed, when Yuma had been taken from you. Or, you had changed. You now knew that everyone, no matter how much you loved them, would someday vanish. You didn't understand it—how one day, someone could be so very real, and the next, they could be gone. And Anakin would vanish, someday, too. You leaned into him, feeling how very real and alive he felt, with his arms around you. You felt the heaviness descend as you wept.

************************************************************************

NEW CHAPTER UP NOW!!!!!

just imagine this Obi-Wan comforting you after reading this angst 😂🤓

divider credit to @racingairplanes

taglist pt 1: @iyoogi @cluelessgurl @layazul @annadastra @graciexmarvel @galaxiasy @organasith @indigoblues1207 @outoftheregular @katsukiswrld @prettyboyrryy @jellydodger @wildflower57 @padmeamidalaslover @em-asian @heavenseraph @iloveinej @leapofblank @sahverah @elsyyie @usuallyunlikelyfox @jadeonce @papadragun @dopejellyfishfury @stxrrielle @lilianashomaresparza @prettylittlecarstairs @deadunicorn159 @atoelicker @arelisskywalker @maythefloorbewithyouanakin @your-local-crzy-lady @dontmindme262 @xenochuguardian @cassiopeiashift @allihavenegativethoughts @hamiltonwc @1-800-nostalgiaaa @heyitsaloy @haydenchristensenluvbot @sunflwrsunnieshine @muthafuckingstargirl @window-to-nothing @shadowhuntyi @jedi-archives @inmourningforanakin @vivsmcdo @betrund @ahqkas @aquaamethyst96 @escapepoet @randomstuff2040 @kenjikishimotosupremecy @nycweb-slinger @anxlaufeyson @magic-magnoliaa @theezlife @unipugrose22-blog @anhsoka @lucyysthings @hopefulpursepeanutdeputy @captainson-of-coul @zelzablues @chrisevansslutttt2

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stardust-kenobi · 2 years

Text

Reminiscence

Part Three

Read Part 2

Obi Wan Kenobi x F!Reader

Summary: Obi Wan has been recognized in Mos Eisley, and with the Inquisitors monitoring the city, the two of you must temporarily relocate to avoid being found. During this time, your rampant nightmares persist.

Word count: 6.5k

Warnings: fluff, smut, one bed trope (is this a warning or a promise?), mention of death and violence

A/N: buckle in bitches we are getting some spice. but not like spice like drugs. Like SMUT. ITS FINALLY GETTING SMUTTY

gif cred: @mcgregor

“The girl is too close to you, Master Kenobi” Master Windu’s voice carried heavily through the empty room.

“I am training her the same way I trained Anakin. There is no special treatment” Obi Wan claimed.

“Others on the Council disagree”

“Well, let them. I am doing my duty as has her Master. Nothing more” Master Kenobi insisted, careful not to get too defensive.

“See to it that it stays that way”

“I shall”

Footsteps drew closer to the door.

“And Obi Wan,” Windu called to him again.

“Yes?”

“I should not need to remind you of the laws forbidding romantic attachments to your padawan” Windu spoke firmly.

“Yes, Master Windu”

The guilt of eavesdropping weighed heavy on your conscience as your ear remained pressed to the door. You scurried away and found your seat on the bench outside the council chambers, hearing Master Kenobi’s footsteps approaching the door. The thumping inside your chest would be hard to hide.

It was probable that Obi Wan didn’t know the subject matter of his sudden meeting with Master Windu. Otherwise he would not have brought you, even if you did remain outside the door. There was undeniable tension between the two of you, there always had been. Maybe it was the force, or perhaps just human nature, but a spark ignited every-time he was near. You know he felt it, too.

To your unfortunate surprise, others were taking notice. You thought it was subtle, harmless, but apparently not.

Maybe someone saw the two of you pressed against each other during your training, staring deep into each other’s eyes. Maybe that person caught a glimpse of how you broke a nervous sweat just being that close to him. Or, maybe, they took note of how many seconds passed before you pulled away from each other.

It was an accident, you tripped and fell into him and he caught you. It was only one time, and you swore to yourself it would never happen again.

Regardless, you were treading through dangerous waters, and you expected that things were going to get awkward with Master Kenobi for a while. Your desire for him could never outweigh the honor of becoming a Jedi, an opportunity you’d be a fool to throw away.

You couldn’t look him in the eye as the doors slid open, but you could feel his eyes on you.

“Let’s go. We are going to be late” He said flatly, referring to the Senate meeting starting soon.

“Yes, Master” You said softly, debating whether or not to bring it up. Ultimately, you decided to be brave and ask.

“Is everything okay?” You asked vaguely. You’d be embarrassed to give away the fact that you were snooping on his meeting.

“Hm? Oh, yes. Everything is fine” He replied, sounding unsure and convincing seemingly at the same time. He looked to you, his eyebrows lifted in curiosity to your inquiry.

“Good” You smiled nervously back to him.

As you strolled the halls briskly with him, you passed a number of Jedi, visitors, younglings, and senators. Not a single eye was watching you, but somehow it felt like the world had a magnifying glass upon you two like a science experiment.

As you passed an empty corridor, you almost lost your footing when Obi Wan pulled you to the side, finding a broad marble pillar to hide behind. This was a mostly unused wing of the Temple, he knew this as well as you did.

“Where are we-” You began, confused, but were cut off by Obi Wan’s frantic motions. He put your back to the pillar and got dangerously close to you again. Your breath hitched in your throat

“Listen to me, my young Padawan”

“Okay”

“I don’t know what you heard in that meeting but,” Obi Wan breathed out with dread, “this cannot wait until later”

“I heard most of it” You confessed, omitting the part where you shoved your ear to the crack in the entryway in order to do so.

“I see”

“I’m sorry” You shrunk into yourself, ashamed of your spying.

“No need for apologies. Just listen” He started again, but not without a great deal of hesitation, “There is something about you that makes me forget myself…you make me blissfully forget what is right and what is wrong. It’s not your fault, but I fear what may happen if I continue to train you”

“Master, what do you me-”

“I cannot focus when I am around you. I cannot control my desire for you. My mind wanders and it is torment to me”

Your mouth may have dropped to the floor if you had allowed it to. You’d never directly spoken about the tension. It was almost as if not speaking it into existence meant it wasn’t really happening and didn’t have to be addressed. You had no idea what effect you had on him…

“I have to request you be reassigned. I’m sorry”

Your heart shattered in response. He couldn’t be serious.

“Please, no,” you pleaded, “I’ve already been transferred once, please don’t make me go through that again”

His eyes grew sorrowful and full of remorse. Master Kenobi knew of what you’d been through and how much progress you lost when you were reassigned to him from Master Ti.

“I know, little one, but it must be done. I’m sorry.”

“We can…we can figure something out. Please, can we at least try? Obi Wan, I know I’m not innocent in this. I struggle to focus around you as well. But it’s a challenge I’m willing to learn to work through. We can both work on this, it doesn’t have to be this way” You rambled, hoping to convince him otherwise.

Obi Wan fell silent and searched your expression for how you really felt.

“We are capable of a fresh start. I think we owe it to ourselves to try” You debated to him.

“Very well”, He spoke softly and you sensed a feeling of relief from him, “but if there is temptation again, I won’t reconsider a second time”

“I understand”

After that day, you grew distant from him. This absolutely broke your heart, but it had to be done. You turned yourself cold and forced yourself to focus only on your duties as a Jedi in training. Obi Wan was never the same either. You both still cared deeply for one another, but you knew to continue your behavior and allowing temptation to take over would be your downfall.

“I’m proud of you, Y/N”

These were the last words Obi Wan spoke to you up until your reunion. You held onto these words for years until they faded into an obsolete pile of hope that wasted away with your memory of him. Your heart ached all the time without him there.

“Gather your things” Obi Wan stated frantically as he returned home from his work. He startled you in the middle of your reading.

“Uh, o-okay” You stuttered in confusion.

“We need to leave” He continued whilst packing his clothes into a bag.

“Obi Wan what’s going on?”

“I think I’ve been recognized” He stopped in his tracks to weigh the gravity of the situation.

“By who?”

“An inquisitor” He swallowed hard.

“Do they know where you live?” You hesitantly asked.

“I’m not sure. I don’t want to risk it. We have to go off planet. It’s not safe on Tatooine”

“Where will we go?” You asked while you gathered what little belongings you had.

“Batuu. Just long enough to lay low. A day or two. They’ll move on eventually”

“Are you sure you want to take me?” You asked timidly. In this situation you didn’t want to complicate anything. You would understand if you needed to stay behind.

“You go where I go” He turned to you, holding your shaking hands in his palms.

You nodded with a reassuring smile.

“I know a man who owns an Inn on Batuu. He lets me stay there unregistered. With the Empire’s new protocols, no one can have a room at an inn without proper registration. I pay him under the table, no questions asked. Unfortunately this has happened a couple of times”

“Will he be okay with you bringing a guest?”

“He will have to be. I’m not leaving you here”

As the civilian transport ship exited hyperspace, you couldn’t help but gasp. Just in the few days you’d spent on Tatooine made you miss greenery and oceans, both of which came into view as the ship made its descent.

You’d heard of Batuu years ago, it used to be home to a separatist outpost in the days of the Republic, therefore you imagine there was probably a heavy imperial presence. If you tried to go anywhere else, Obi Wan would have to register as a guest, which would scan him, and it would alert the inquisitors searching for him. This deal was your best bet at safety for now.

As a former Padawan, you were likely flagged in the imperial records as well. Anyone they don’t have a death record for is still considered ‘on the run’.

“Head down, walk calmly” He whispered through the shield of his hooded robe as you descended the ship's open ramp.

You did just that. As you walked through the streets of Batuu, you noticed the scattered stormtroopers that paid little attention to you.

“How far are we?” You asked. Every step you took helped to fry your nerves. You swallowed your fear and kept walking, trying your hardest not to think about what would happen if you were caught.

“Not too far now” He barely spoke above a whisper.

The path that carried you through town narrowed significantly, covered now by lush forest instead of power lines and artificial lighting. You were nearly alone now, traveling down a stone walkway that began to feel like you two were walking through a fairy tail. You still mostly kept your head down. You could never be too sure.

You cautiously tilted your head up and caught a glance of an extravagant structure that towered over 20 floors. Elegant music trailed into your ears as you approached what looked like a resort, of some kind. The whole building stuck out like a sore thumb and drowned out the rest of the town in comparison, which you assume is why it’s tucked away outside of town. The exterior reflected the light like an Alderaanian palace, and the balconies that scattered up and down the length of its height held partygoers and travelers with credits to blow.

“This is the Inn?” You stopped, your jaw dropped.

“Not what you were expecting?” He smirked. That little devil, trying to impress you.

“Not quite” You laughed.

“I guess I never did describe it, did I?”

He’s so smug and doesn’t even realize it.

You hadn’t seen something so extraordinary since before the rise of the Empire. Since before you both went into hiding.

Obi Wan watched in adoration as your face twinkled under the shining lights. Your face was lit up like a child entering hyperspace for the first time. It excited you, staying somewhere this fancy. But it excited you even more to be staying there with him.

The interior was just as amazing. Everything shimmered and glistened, accented in gold. You could wipe the awe off your face, meanwhile all the guests in the lobby seemed incredibly adjusted to it.

“Many of them live here, they only rent out a few of the rooms. This is an interesting crowd but if you pretend like you belong, they won’t even notice us” He said, leaning over to you.

You nodded and looked around to observe the other guests. They all had a drink in hand, each one of them laughing or talking amongst a group. Their clothing reflected the exact establishment you were standing in. They were eccentric individuals, the types you’d seen plenty of back on Coruscant, but you can’t recall seeing these types of party goers around within the past few years. They all had this look in their eye, though, like they were avoiding the deep sorrow and regret lingering within them. You felt sorry for them, but also envious of their denial of what life had become.

“Hello, I’m looking for Satja” Obi Wan spoke confidently to the front desk. The receptionist looked startled, as if she’d seen a ghost.

“One moment”

“How do you know this guy again?”

“Long story”

A short man appeared from around the corner of a hidden office.

“Obi Wan!” The man shouted in glee when he saw him. You flinched at the call of his real name but then noticed, yet again, the partying hotel guests couldn’t care less. This was an interesting place.

“Satja, how are you?” Obi Wan smiled pleasantly at the man.

“Just fine, just fine. Business is booming as you can see!” He cackled, gesturing to the busy lobby.

“Yes, it seems so!”

“But hey, I don’t do it for the money”

“Satja, you only do this for money” Obi Wan scoffed playfully.

“You got me there”

“Listen, I won’t keep you. Just the usual, please” He softened his voice with the request.

“Nesa, take a quick break honey, I’ll take care of this one”

Satja shooed away the receptionist, who looked equally confused and pleased to be given a break.

“I gotta warn you, Obi Wan, Empire is cracking down. Don’t know if I’ll be able to do this much longer”

“What do you mean?”

“Bunch a’ troopers came in here last week asking for registration logs. It’s hard to fake those documents when you occupy a room without proper registration” Satja said regretfully. Obi Wan tried to hide his concern.

“But hey, I’ll keep helping ya as long as I can, I owe you my life”

“Thank you” Obi Wan nodded humbly. You decided that was a question for another day.

“So who’s this? Girlfriend?”

You cringed at the question, hoping he didn’t feel the pressure to say yes or no, so you spoke for him.

“Just good friends catching up” You smiled back.

“Oh yeah, we gotta lot of people that come here to ‘catch up’. I gotcha” he winked and cackled at his own comment again.

“Oh I’m sure you do,” You joked back to him.

“I’ll spare you the details of why we are here but 2 nights would be greatly appreciated. Whatever you have”

“You got it, my friend. 250”

“Why so much less than usual?”

“I gave you the ‘catching up’ special” Satja nudged him and began cackling again. You couldn’t help but laugh too, it was utterly contagious. Obi Wan was red in the face, trying to hide his smirk but failing completely.

“Satja” Obi Wan groaned

“Oh I’m just teasing. None of these jokers let me get in a good laugh around here”

“I thought it was funny” You corrected.

Satja high-fived you and looked at Obi Wan smugly. He worked some things in the data pad and took the credits from Obi Wan.

“Alright, pal. Room 16028G”

“That’s one of your nicer rooms isn’t it?” Obi Wan looked at him in astonishment.

“We just had a cancellation. Consider it my little gift to you”

“Thank you, Satja” You said graciously.

The walk to the elevators was filled with even more amusement. There was something fascinating to observe at every turn.

As the door to your room flung opened, you gasped. Similar to the lobby, the room was a perfect embodiment of elegance. The best resort accommodations that credits could buy. You weren’t used to this indulgence of luxurious things, you never had that in your life. The Jedi Temple is all of its glory paled in comparison. The room wasn't huge. It was a typical size, maybe a little larger, but the décor was beautiful.

“This is certainly nicer than the room he usually gives me”

“Wow” You mumbled. It was all you managed to say.

“It’s nice having company this time” He turned to you.

You smiled back at him as you set down your small satchel on the settee.

As you both took in the breathtaking view from your balcony and unpacked your belongings, you decided to pretend, just once, that you’re on vacation. Hiding from the empire should not be considered a vacation, but you must enjoy it if you can. Being with him was truly the only vacation you needed, anyways. The fancy inn was just a bonus.

“Dammit”

“What is it?”

“I guess I didn’t pack any clothes to sleep in” You rubbed your forehead. You were so frantic to leave earlier that you forgot to grab something, anything, to sleep comfortably in.

“You can borrow my tunic, here” Obi Wan offered kindly and tossed his clean sandy colored shirt to you. You recognized it as a shirt he typically slept in.

“Thank you”

You changed in the refresher and opted out of wearing anything under the shirt he let you borrow. It didn’t swallow you whole, but it was a bit longer than the bottom curve of your ass, and he’d never know you were naked beneath it. The idea of that…excited you.

“Are you okay with sleeping with m-…next to me?” Obi Wan asked as you exited the refresher.

“Of course. Besides, it’s a pretty big bed. I think we might lose each other in there” You joked.

Your heart raced inside your chest as you laid your head down on the pillow. He slept next to you that one night on Tatooine, but somehow this felt different. You hadn’t touched or kissed each other since the night at the cantina and that was almost a week ago. Nothing had been awkward, the moment just hadn’t felt right since then.

You turned away from him as you were too nervous to look at him lying next to you. It should be impossible to sleep right now, but you needed the rest, and you could only fight your heavy eyelids for so long before they defeated you.

“I probably won’t drift off to sleep for a while” Obi Wan whispered to you.

“I’m pretty tired now. I’ll probably go ahead and sleep”

“Goodnight, darling”

“Goodnight, Obi Wan”

A fuzzy cloud swept over your mind as memories began to flash back in front of you. There were screams. Distant, blood curdling screams. The child you protected kept disappearing from behind you. And a Jedi in your path kept falling to his death over…and over…and over. It was a loop… a horrid loop that grew louder and louder with every go around.

You couldn’t breathe. You gasped for air but your lungs failed you. You tried to scream but it was empty and silent. No one was coming to save you, but could you even save yourself?

A new vision came before you that was an unfamiliar loop in your nightmare. It was…Obi Wan. He stood before you, petrified. A red glow grew brighter behind him.

“Obi Wan?”

“Y/N, help me”

“I’m coming”

“Help, he’ll kill me”

A modulated breath pushed through a villainous mask. Everything went dark as Obi Wan pleaded for his life. His screams were cut short. You cried for him but he was gone.

—

Your eyes shot open and you leaned up in bed. You were breathing heavy and you must’ve screamed or cried in your sleep because Obi Wan was already moving to comfort you.

“I’m here, darling, I’m here” Obi Wan called calmly to you, “Sssh, it’s alright”

“Obi Wan” You whispered with realization of where you were.

It wasn’t real. I’m with him. I’m okay. He’s okay.

“Yes, I’m right here. Take a deep breath” He consoled you, scooting closer to you in bed.

Despite your best efforts not to break into a full on sob in front of him, you fell apart like shattered glass as he wrapped his strong arms around you. Your cheeks became soaked with tears before they seeped into the cloth of his shirt as you wept shamelessly in his grasp.

“They never stop, Obi Wan” You cried, trying to calm your breathing to prevent hyperventilation. The nightmares were back in full force again.

“I know, dear, I have them too” He spoke with sorrow.

“You do?”

“Yes. They’re debilitating” He said as he rubbed his hands up and down your arms, tucking your head under his chin. Being shielded by him was like being wrapped in a warm, blaster-proof blanket. “Waking up to one of those nightmares just to remember you’re alone in the desert is…hard”

You tried to calm yourself but your nerves were absolutely shot.

“It wasn’t real, you’re alive and you’re safe”

“Thank you” You whispered. You were so grateful for his presence in that moment.

"I'll hold you as long as you need"

You began to calm gradually as your mind processed and distinguished the difference between your nightmare and reality. You and Obi Wan sat there in silence for a while. He stroked your hair and kept your cheeks dry as your tears fell. You smiled to yourself, he was so selflessly kind.

"How are you feeling?" He asked after your tears had dried from your eyes.

"Better... a little freaked out, but I'm better" You sighed.

"I find it difficult to go back to sleep after one of my nightmares. Sometimes I just don't fall back asleep at all" He noted.

You nodded in agreement, but your mind immediately sparked a bad idea. When you would have difficulty falling asleep, oftentimes you would masturbate to ease your nerves. Sometimes you did it because you were horny and wanted to feel that pleasure, other times it was strictly an effort to chemically balance your brain back to normal and allow sleep to come easier.

"I have a trick to falling back asleep" You said, wondering if he'd ask what it is.

"Well good, so you'll be alright tonight?"

"Actually..." You winced, suddenly afraid to admit it.

"What is it?"

"I can't really do that...method...right now" You crawled across your words slowly.

"What do you mean?" He pondered, his eyebrows pushed together in confusion.

"I usually do it...alone" You emphasized. Your body may have been behaving by memory, but you felt yourself growing aroused just at the conversation of pleasuring yourself.

"Alone, like whe-....oh" He stopped himself when he realized. His eyes scanned the room before snapping back to you. Your face had changed and your tears had dried, and he could see in your eyes that you needed a release, "Well that's only natural. I'm sure it works well as a sleep aid"

"I could go and do that in the refresher, I suppose" You offered.

"No, you can do it in bed, I won't disturb you" He said sweetly. He sounded so innocent but you know just how much it would rile him up if you got yourself off right next to him, “I- I could um, I can go on the balcony and give you the privacy”

"No it’s okay, i'll be quiet" You whispered. He groaned softly in response, “unless you’re uncomfortable with me doing that beside you” You implied, the conversation felt tense as you bounced back and forth with what you were planning to do.

“No, darling, mm, not at all” His voice grew flustered as his imagination ran wild. You giggled to yourself at the effect you were having on him. You loved it.

You moved to pull away from his hold and you were faced with a restraint…his arms subtly tightened, causing an even filthier idea to flutter into your mind.

"Would you help me?" You whispered up to him sensually, and by no accident, you hoped to entice him.

"Yes" He breathed, his words were failing him, but he was dying to put his hands on you. He was a gentleman, after all, he never wanted to make you uncomfortable with the first move.

You sat up, pressing your back into his chest. You turned your head to him and stared deep into his hungry eyes. Your gaze traveled to his lips, so warm and needing attention. In a gentle motion, Obi Wan pressed hard into your lips, bringing his fingers to run through your hair. He let a moan of relief and satisfaction seep into your mouth.

You’d found yourself locking lips with him three times now since you found him, but as he slipped his tongue over your lip and into your mouth, you understood that it would actually go somewhere further this time. You were ready for him. You wanted to give yourself to him completely.

He slid his right hand between the curves of your thighs and motioned for you to open your legs. The miserable, radiating ache for him was pulsing harder with every inch that he moved across your skin.

His fingers were trembling, shaking with the anticipation of over ten years of pent up desire.

“Is this okay?”

“Mmhm” You hummed, so overwhelmed with need that you couldn’t think straight.

Your legs opened wide, pushing the pure white, luxury linens to slide off your knees.

The only light pushing through the room was the blue of the moonlight. Batuu was known for its large moon, it casted more light than most planets’ did. It allowed visibility for Obi Wan to see every inch of your body that you exposed to him without a single light turned on. It was romantic, like it was just you, Obi Wan, and the stars that lit up the galaxy. Nothing and no one mattered to you in that moment besides him.

His fingers found the hem of your shirt, his shirt, and slowly lifted the material to reveal that you wore nothing underneath. He immediately broke the contact against your lips to catch sight of your most sensitive area.

"Gods, Y/N” He faltered, “You weren’t wearing anything under this?”

“No, I wanted to be naked under your clothes” You purred.

His jaw clenched hard, like he was trying to stop himself from ravaging you right then. You felt his cock growing hard as it pressed against your lower back.

His hand idled at your inner thigh as he used the other to wrap around your body and hold you up against him.

“Touch me, please” You begged.

He waited no longer as his finger began to caress your slit. You could feel how wet you were, practically dripping for him, any part of him. He ran his middle finger through your wetness and a guttural, primal moan crawled from his throat.

“You’re already this wet for me?” He asked, his voice barely breaking a whisper.

“Yes, all for you”

His fingertips found the bud of your clit, and gave it the contact it so desperately begged you for. The electricity and fire that coursed through you the second he really touched you was overwhelming and you almost couldn’t handle the sensation.

Obi Wan used a perfect rhythm to rub delicate circles against your clit. You started to moan softly, suddenly finding yourself to be shy with him.

“Let me hear you, darling” He whispered softly against your ear. A wave of chills shot down your spine.

Your whimpering grew louder, messier. It was no question any longer how he was making you feel.

“Feels so good, Obi Wan” You breathed.

“I’ve wanted to make you feel good for so long, Y/N. I always wondered what my name sounded like falling off those beautiful lips”

You bucked your hips into his motions, but he firmly grabbed around your waist with his other hand to hold you steady. He halted his pressure against your clit and redirected his digits to your wetness. He caressed your entrance gently, taking in the magnitude of your desire for him.

He inserted one finger, and you arched your back in response. it wasn’t even the actual feeling of having something inside you, it was having him inside you that lit a fire upon your skin.

With every inch of his touch, he listened to the way your body responded. He watched how you reacted to the different ways he pleasured you, wanting to be in tune with what felt good for you, and getting off on that himself.

His finger thrusted in and out slowly, letting you adjust to one finger before adding a second. His thumb moved to return attention back to your clit as he fucked you with his fingers. There was such an intimacy about being pressed against his chest and him looking down and watching you writhe under his control.

“I’m g-getting close” You muttered as the release slowly crept up to you.

“Come around my fingers darling” He groaned. His words and consistent pacing of his fingers sent you over the edge.

It burst open and washed over your body, radiating from your core and trickling out to your limbs. You felt it deep in your bones. You whimpered and moaned his name while you came and your walls clenched around his fingers. Through your own euphoria, you were able to hear the sounds of approval that came from him while he watched you lose control in his grasp. You floated down slowly, your climax riding out longer than normal, pleasantly surprising you.

He removed his fingers slowly, and gently massaged your clit again. The sensitivity jolted your body but it felt so good. He pulled away, and you watched as he placed his fingers in his mouth to savor the taste of you. You let out an unintentional moan. You wanted more. You needed more.

“You taste as sweet as those pretty little noises you make” He praised, turning your head back up to him to kiss you with a greater passion than before. You could taste yourself on his tongue, and it drove you crazy.

“Do you think you could sleep now?” He asked so innocently.

“No” You answered breathlessly.

“Would you like me to do that again?”

You melted at his offer. This man probably hasn’t had sex in years but he’s still not expecting anything from you in return. It turned you on even more.

“I want you” You breathed, still allowing your lungs to catch up after riding your high, “to fuck me”

Obi Wan released a deep moan and attacked your swollen lips again.

“Anything for you, darling” He whispered against your mouth.

He took over and gently lifted your only piece of clothing off your body. Obi Wan then laid you down on your back. As he hovered above you, he cherished the sight of you naked beneath him, exactly what he said he needed that night you went to the cantina.

“Stars, you are…absolutely breathtaking” He stared in awe, allowing his eyes to roam every curve of your being. His hand stroked delicately over your breasts, feeling the peak of your nipples under his rough skin.

“Somehow, you look even more gorgeous than I always imagined” He smiled, finally looking back up to your eyes, “I didn’t even think that was possible”.

You blushed and reached for the hem of his shirt to help him pull it over his head. There were not enough hours in the day to properly allow you to study the intricacy of his body. He had scars and rough edges that told a lifetime of stories. You were enthralled by the sight of his bare skin, and you wanted it pressed against you immediately. There was a masculine broadness about his chest that was speckled with hair that made your heart skip a beat.

Obi Wan shyly chuckled at your admiration. You stared up at him and lost yourself in the expression on his face. Neither of you had ever said it out loud, but in that moment you knew he loved you. A man could not possibly look at you the way he was and not love you deeply. It almost brought a tear to your eye but now was not the time to get emotional

You tugged lightly at his pants that you desperately needed him to remove. He smirked before getting up and standing to the side of the bed to pull them off.

There he stood, completely exposed to you as you were to him. His size was impressive, and you didn’t mean to let a gasp fly from your lips but he was flattered by your reaction. You wanted to take him into your mouth and pleasure him how he did for you, but when you moved your mouth toward him, he stopped you.

“Darling I cannot wait another minute to be inside you”

You shivered in anticipation. He moved back onto the bed and hovered over you, hips resting between your legs. Your heart began to flutter again. You hadn’t had sex in a long time, and somehow this felt like the first time all over again.

Slowly, he pushed his tip at your entrance and took a deep breath in before he thrusted all the way in. Your breath hitched in your throat before he bottomed out, burying his cock fully inside you. You both moan in pure ecstasy at the feeling of being completely connected with one another.

He kept his thrusts slow, careful to let you adjust to him before changing pace. The curl of his hips with each motion brushed the sweetest spot inside you, repeatedly driving you insane.

Obi Wan did not break away from your gaze but only seconds at a time to look down and watch your bodies fuse together so beautifully.

“Obi Wan” You whimpered softly.

“Y/N, Gods you feel…s-so amazing” He moaned through his praises, “You are so beautiful”

“Oh my gods” You cried out, feeling another release approaching. Obi Wan was wise to, once again, listen to the way your body reacted to him.

He pulled your knees up and placed them against his chest. With this angle he was able to hit that sweet spot even easier. Your moans grew louder and he could feel your walls clenching around his length.

“That’s it, darling there you go…come on my cock” He praised, encouraging you. You melted at his words, so aroused to hear him talk like this.

Words could not form through the intensity of the wave that crashed over you this time. You lost control of your moaning and fell apart so gracefully beneath him. Stars formed to cloud your vision as you floated on that high. You cried his name over and over, letting him know just how good he made you feel. As you eased back down from your euphoric high, Obi Wan lowered your legs down and slowed his thrusting.

“I’m getting close, darling, where do you w-”

“Inside me. I’m on the pill” You reminded him so as to not let him worry about that possibility.

Obi Wan trembled against you as his whimpering grew louder and you felt him twitch against your walls. You held his face and pulled him deep into a kiss as he spilled himself inside you. He moaned through your kiss, sending vibrations across your lips. You felt him grip the sheets beside you as he came down from his high.

Gently, you broke away from him. As you looked up, you ran your fingers through his messy hair, and smiled sweetly at him. That was everything you ever imagined it would be, and you already wanted to go again, despite how tired you were.

“That was well worth the wait” You whispered to him.

“Yes, it was” He spoke softly back to you and planted a delicate kiss on your lips before laying down next to you. You laid your head on his glistening chest and listened to the thumping of his heartbeat, otherwise, It was silent between you two for a few moments as you both soaked in the reality of what just happened.

“I would’ve waited a lifetime for that” He said, turning to you, “I would wait a lifetime for you”.

“10 years alone sure feels like a lifetime” You muttered.

The two of you rested silently as you settled back into reality. You could not stop smiling, not matter how hard you tried. As you glimpsed Obi Wan you caught sight of a grin on his face that he, too, couldn’t get rid of.

Soon after, Obi Wan brought you a robe and the two of you sat in the chairs on your room's balcony to watch the Batuu sky and listen to the party going guests wind down for the night.

“Do you remember that day that Master Windu had to talk with me about our relationship?” Obi Wan randomly asked.

“Yes, I remember that. I also remember you trying to get rid of me” You teased playfully.

“I am sorry for that.”

“That was only, what, a month before all was lost?” You pondered.

“I think so” Obi Wan concurred, and dropped his head.

For a few moments you both stared at the moon in admiration. You looked over to Obi Wan, observing the way the moonlight danced over the texture of his skin. You never got tired of looking at him.

“I never stopped thinking about what you said,” You began, reminiscing back to that conversation, “how you said you couldn’t think around me…that you had forgotten what was right and what was wrong”

“It was true. In all my years I had never let anyone or anything distract me that much. My feelings for you terrified me” He smiled somberly.

“How did you feel about me, really?”

“That is a conversation for another time” He nervously chuckled.

"What? Why not now?" You laughed in response, surely he was joking.

"Y/N" He spoke softly and shut his eyes, wishing you'd drop the subject immediately.

“Are you serious?” Your tone went flat.

“Please drop it, Y/N” He pleaded.

"No, tell me why you don't want to talk about it!" You raised your voice, something you'd never done to him before. It shocked you, but you so desperately wanted to know that your greed for information reared an ugly head.

"Because it hurts! It all hurts. Reliving every second of what our lives as Jedi used to be rips me to pieces” He snapped, taking you by an unpleasant surprise, "I can't talk about this anymore" He concluded, his tone riddled with painful anguish. He wouldn't look at you, he couldn't if he tried.

Before you could speak another word, he rose from his seat and returned inside, leaving you alone on the patio to stare into the night sky.

You were angry with yourself for pushing him. Of course it hurt, you knew that as well as he did, so you should've known better than to insist upon the discussion. It did not sway your curiosity. Your mind still pondered how he may have felt for you back then. As he said, it's a conversation for another time.

Truly, you were still confused about his feelings for you now. You'd just made love and it was everything your heart dreamed of since you first fell for him all those years ago. You'd been too foolish to admit to yourself that it was love that you felt for him, not just friendship, not just tension, not just attraction.

It is love.

Part 4 is here!

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forever-rogue · 2 years

Note

may i request an obi-wan fluff where reader gets ticklish over his ✨beard✨ when he hugged her

old man kenobi looks so softtt and honestly he just needs a hug and i just want to comfort this man and wrap him in a blanket 🫂

AN | Please hug this man and hold him and tell him you love him 🥰 Enjoy!

Pairing | Obi-Wan x Fem!Reader

Warnings | Light spice

Word Count | 1.9k

Masterlist | Main, Star Wars

Part 2, Part 3

── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──

You heard the door creak open ever so quietly, despite his best efforts. He could be light and lithe on his feet, but he was still no match for the ancient, groaning door. You didn’t even need to turn around to know it was him; he always carried a particular scent that was uniquely him. It was warm and slightly sweet, almost as if he somehow belonged in this desert. You supposed that in some ways he did. If it hadn’t been for him, you were pretty sure you’d have left years ago, but something compelled you to stay there, with him and for him.

He favored your small home, loved the quaint coziness it provided, almost like a respite in the middle of the chaotic world. It was quiet here, in both a literal and metaphorical sense and after the life he’s led up until now, it was more than appreciated. But that didn’t stop him from returning out in the arid wasteland to keep an eye on the boy he swore to protect. You didn’t try to stop him. You could sense how much the young boy meant to him, and you’d gotten most of the story from him over the years, so you were well aware of just exactly who he was. So you loved him as you could, and supported him however he needed.

It wasn’t until you heard him sigh softly that you decided to acknowledge his presence, “hello Obi-Wan. I was wondering when you’d get here.”

“How did you-”

“It doesn’t take much to hear the sound of that door and you, my love, have a very distinct sigh about you,” you wiped your hands on the small rag before turning to him. There was a soft, albeit tired smile on his face, “hungry?”

“Starving,” he admitted and as if on cue, his stomach grumbled loudly. You made your way over to him, wrapping your arms around him before he could argue. You knew he'd say he was dirty or sweaty and smelly, but you didn’t care. That’s what the ‘fresher was for after all. He relaxed into your touch and almost instantly it felt like he perked up, “I’ve missed you.”

“I missed you too,” you took his face in your hands, gently brushing a finger over his cheek before kissing him. It was just one soft, saccharine little thing, but he clung to it like a lifeline, “come on, let’s eat and then you can get cleaned up. There’s no need to rush, we’ve got time.”

Time. It still felt like a strange, foreign concept. He’d never had time before, never had the luxury of doing what his heart desired. Before it was always about duty and obligation, doing whatever he was told and never having the time for himself. Now, despite the tragedies he’d experienced, the life that was stripped away from him in an instant, he had time. All the time in the world. It was a welcome but terrifying concept.

He had the opportunity to explore the man he could have been had not been stripped from his family as a young boy, barely old enough to remember the touch of his mother or the sound of his father’s voice. That was not to say that his past was filled with regrets, of course there were some - many, but still. It made him into the person he was today. Now he could be a different version of him, the man he could have his entire life had things been more normal - had he been normal. But then again what did normal even mean?

“What’s wrong?” he detected the note of concern in your voice as soon as you set the stew you’d prepared in front of him. You gently brushed his hair out of his face before grabbing a bowl for yourself. You sat down across from him, trying to get a read on him, “you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. But I do hope you realize by now that you can tell me anything.”

“Of course,” the corners of his mouth tugged into a small smile as he took a seemingly thoughtful bite, “I was just thinking…I like this. You. Being with you. It is a curious thing to think that if things hadn’t…hadn’t happened as they did that I might have never met you.”

“I don’t think that’s necessarily true,” you insisted, causing Obi-Wan to raise an eyebrow in curiosity, “I just mean…well, you believe in the force right? Not believe, I mean we know it exists. It creates connections with people, binds them together…everything is as it is meant to be. It’s easy to say that about good things, but obviously there is plenty bad too. But…I don't know. I feel like perhaps we still would have found each other in some way. I like to think I was meant to meet you, Obi-Wan Kenobi, in this lifetime and all the others.”

“Are you sure you aren’t-”

“Definitely,” you interrupted him before he could even finish his sentence, “it doesn’t take a Jedi or anything special to know that much. Or perhaps I am entirely too keen on you and like to convince myself that you are too.”

“You are not flattering yourself in the slightest,” there was a glint in his eyes as your face flushed with warmth. You looked away and focused your attention on your bowl, finding it to be incredibly interesting, “I am very keen on you too.”

“Well,” you sat back with a small smile playing on your face, “that settles that then. Now eat, I know you’re starving.”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──

It was late by the time you felt the other side of the bed dip under his weight. He smelled like your favorite soap and shampoo now, which just made you smile. There was something about seeing him so comfortable and content that made your heart almost burst with happiness.

“About time,” you whispered through a yawn as you rolled over to face him. He chuckled softly, a sound that practically made your whole body vibrate with happiness. Obi-Wan made himself comfortable, settling into the warmth of the plush blankets you loved so much before wrapping an arm around your waist, “you smell good.”

“I smell like you,” his hand found your face as he ghosted his fingers over your face, almost as if he needed to commit this moment to memory, “I like it too.”

“Hmm,” you made a content little sound as you leaned closer to kiss him. You might have been tired, but you were never too tired for him. You kissed him gently at first, making sure he was okay with it before getting too lost in him. His response was unequivocal as he tried to pull you closer to him. You accidentally knocked your forehead against his, causing you both to giggle quietly, “oops.”

“C’mere,” he pulled himself up so he was leaning against the headboard, and proceeded to shuffle you into his lap. You beamed at him before letting your hands settle on his chest as his found purchase on your waist, “you’re beautiful.”

“You’re not so bad yourself,” you teased, internally flourishing at his comment, but trying to remain collected. He’d told you the same thing hundreds, if not thousands, of times at this point but still made you feel a certain type of way you couldn’t quite put into words, “are you going to kiss me or continue to stare at me?”

“Which would you prefer?” there was a teasing lilt to his voice and you couldn’t help but playfully groan at him, “alright, I see you have a preference.”

“If I had a say and it was possible, I would have you all over me all the time, my love,” you grinned sheepishly as a light flush rushed into his cheeks at your affection. He liked that about you - how openly caring and tender you were. He had been bereft of the touch of another for so much of his life that he never realized how desperately he yearned for now.

He craved your touch, the feel of your soft, pliable body against his, how delicate you were. It had moved to the point where he subconsciously reached out for you, let his hand brush against yours, holding it after lacing your fingers together, gentle touches as he moved around you, steady and firm grips as he made love to you or left you thoroughly fucked out. He liked - loved - you; and he would be remiss if he was ever devoid of your touch after getting to experience it. He was well aware that permanence was not always a guarantee in life, but he did know that you would always be a part of his.

“Cheeky,” he commented softly before leaning in to kiss you. This time it wasn’t as gentle or tender as it had been earlier. This time there was a need and hunger lingering underneath the way he kissed you. The feel of his lips on your skin left fire in their wake, causing you to lean into him, silently asking for more. You could feel his lips curl into a small smile as he nuzzled against your jaw, “tell me what you need, my sweet girl.”

“You,” it was a breathy whisper in his ear that caused him to almost groan against your skin, “please.”

“Whatever you desire, I shall give it to you,” oh. Oh. Those words made you feel a type of way that sent electric shivers through your body. He always knew what to say, to make you feel however you needed. He kissed along your jaw, slowly working his way down your neck, admiring and praising how soft and perfect you felt, which proceeded to leave you almost breathless. It wasn’t until he was at the hollow of your throat that you proceeded to break into a fit of giggles. He stopped, looking at you in amusement, “whatever is so funny?”

“It tickles,” you lightly scratched at the scruff along his jaw, “I like it. I didn’t say to stop, keep going.”

“Now you’re just being demanding,” his large, warm hands had wandered under your night shirt and were splayed on your hips, which just made you ache even more for him.

“Are you going to deny me?” you managed to get out in between soft sounds as he moved to pull off your top, “hmm, my love?”

“I would never,” he promised softly, “ I couldn’t be so cruel.”

“Good,” you whispered in his ear before kissing his cheek, “I love you, Obi-Wan.”

He paused for a moment before swallowing thickly, the emotion almost overwhelming him. Some days it still felt so strange to hear those words, even though he knew, with every fiber of his being that what you said was true. His grip on you tightened before he quietly whispered those words back to you. And he meant it. And you knew it. He was all you needed. Just like you had become a lifeline for him.

Just as it was meant to be.

#obi-wan kenobi #obi-wan kenobi x reader #obi-wan kenobi x fem!reader #obi-wan kenobi x you #ewan mcgregor #ewan mcgregor x reader #ewan mcgregor x you #star wars #kenobi

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hugmekenobi · 1 year

Text

Strength- Ch11

Gif by @anakin-skywalker

Obi Wan x female!reader

Series Summary: You’re estranged from the Jedi Order and have spent much of your life avoiding them. So, what happens when you have to assist Jedi Master and General Obi Wan Kenobi in battle and you’re forced to come back to Coruscant and work with him?

<Previous Chapter

Chapter 11 Summary: With the latest arrival at your door, you’re finally in a position where you can’t push away what you feel anymore.

Genre: Enemies to Lovers

Warnings: Use of (Y/N), swearing, Force bonds work how I say they do, kissing, SMUT (including non-explicit descriptions of fingering, handjob, oral (m&f receiving), (f)masturbation, implied unprotected PinV (be safe in reality please), exhibitionism, (very quick but technically) cum eating, blink and you miss it authority kink, teasing/ light dirty talk, body worship with mentions of scars), fluff and feelings.

Word Count: 3.8k

Rating: 18+

Author’s notes: It’s finally here!! The chapter we’ve all been waiting for!! Not an awful lot plot wise happens here haha but enjoy!! The support continues to mean a lot!! This is the second last chapter of this story.

You couldn’t breathe, let alone speak right now.

“Can I come in?” Obi Wan asked, forcing himself not to pay attention to the fact that you were, once again, dressed only in a robe in front of him.

You still couldn’t trust yourself to speak so you only nodded and stepped aside to let him through.

“This is nice.” Obi Wan commented as he looked around your flat. It was tiny and a bit decrepit but compared to the state of some of the other apartments in this level, it was one of the better ones.

You managed to find your voice again and scoffed. “Oh yeah, I’m the envy of everyone in Coruscant. The cracks in the ceiling really add to the ambience.”

Obi Wan cringed. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Why are you here, Kenobi?” You asked, as you moved into the kitchen and turned on the tap. You needed to occupy yourself and washing the dishes was the first thing that popped into your head.

Obi Wan took a breath. He hadn’t been in total control of himself when he decided to come here, something else had taken charge and finally woke him up so he didn’t really know what to expect from you by showing up here, but it was too late to go back now. And he didn’t want to go back. He followed you into the kitchen and leaned against the wall. “I needed to talk to you.”

You let out a harsh laugh. “After all this time, you suddenly just decided this?”

“I’ve been a bit busy.” He said defensively.

“Oh yes, I’ve heard all about that. A lot of victories being won in the Outer Rim and Coruscant is certainly grateful to have you back. Congratulations by the way, that was quite the rescue you pulled off.”

“Anakin did most of it, I was unconscious for the majority of it.” He mumbled sheepishly.

And it was that. That unassuming, gentle manner that began to break your wall down. “Still humble as ever I see.” You said, glancing at him, a hint of affection coming through.

“People seem to like it still.” He said, giving you a small smile.

Reminding yourself of why you’d left in the first place, you focused back on the dirty plates. “You needed to talk?”

“Explain is probably a better word. You need to know-”

“I get it, Kenobi. You don’t need to explain. I’ve gotten over it.” You fibbed, eyes never leaving the sink and the soapy suds you were creating.

“No, you don’t understand. I-”

“I don’t want to hear about how you need to live by the Jedi Code. I get it. I don’t need to hear the spiel all over again.” Your voice growing louder, more to hide your distress than anything else.

“That’s not what I’m here to explain!” Obi Wan said, his voice rising too.

“Then what? What could you possibly have to say to me?!”

“I-” He stumbled.

You sighed angrily and turned to face him. “You what? Come on, Kenobi. You hate me? You want me to leave? You wished you’d never met me? Just say it already!”

“I love you!”

That shut you up. You found yourself unable to speak for the second time this morning. You simply just turned your attention back to your washing up.

Obi Wan rubbed a hand over his face. “Dammit darling, this is not how I wanted to do this.”

“What were you expecting? That I’d leap into your arms and forget everything?” You said quietly.

“No. I know I screwed up. With your permission, I’d like to explain myself.” He took your silence as a sign to continue. “When I first met you, I thought you everything in a person that I’d want to avoid. You drove me insane. Mostly because I couldn’t figure you out. You were everything I had been trained not to be, yet you were one of the most incredible Jedi I’d ever met. Just listen.” He said quickly as he saw your jaw clench in protest.

“You were kind, smart, capable and you weren’t afraid to speak out when there was something you knew to be wrong. Take Felucia, had it just been Anakin and I on that mission, the Separatists would still have their base. I knew the order was a poor one, but I would’ve followed it anyway and went back with the information and then waited for orders to take it down but you, you just did it.” He paused and waited for you to say anything but when you didn’t, he carried on.

“So, what I couldn’t figure out was why I was so intent on fighting against you and why you were able to get under my skin so much or why you argued with me just as often. I figured those moments of peace between us were mere glitches. But then this bond was created between us, and I kissed you and it all fell into place and I panicked. A total sense of euphoria overtook me that night and it wasn’t something I was expecting, everything I was experiencing was the complete opposite of what I’d been told would happen if Jedi were to allow that sort of attachment in their life. I realised that I was fighting with myself and taking it out on you. The entire time. That kiss served to clarify everything I had been supressing, I was fighting you because of how right it felt to have you in my life. You must have noticed it. This bond we share was created for a reason, we connected in a way I hadn’t with anyone before. Even when we were arguing, we won battle after battle, we worked well together. I knew you as if you were a part of myself. That’s something I’d only ever experienced with Anakin and that took years to cultivate, with you it was a matter of months. I think you would say the same thing.” He paused to allow you to speak but you stayed quiet, but he’d noticed your actions had slowed down.

“But acting on those feelings went against everything I had been taught my whole life but what scared me was how willing I would be to give it all up. You unlocked a part of me I wasn’t ready to acknowledge so I did what I thought was best, what I’d been told to do, and I put the emotion away. I pushed you away and that was wrong, and I am so sorry. Letting you walk away from that temple was something I’ll regret for the rest of my life because…” He stopped and took a deep breath. “Because I am so in love with you. And I think I have been for quite a while.”

He waited for you to say something.

You didn’t. Your nails were embedded in your palms under the water as you struggled to keep your silence.

“Very well.” Obi Wan said sadly. “I’ll leave you alone now.” He left the room.

You tossed your sponge into the sink in frustration and braced your hands on the edges of it as you let out a deep breath. What were you doing? Why were you so insistent on pushing him away when that was the last thing you wanted? Everything he said was true. You dried your hands and darted out of the room, hoping you hadn’t left it too late. “Obi Wan, w-” The ‘wait’ died on your lips as you saw he hadn’t actually left yet, and your words cause him to hesitate by the door. Well, here goes nothing. “Lower it.” You said softly.

Obi Wan, still facing away from you, did what you asked, and he sensed your signature mix with his own and then he heard your voice in his head as you told him the three words he’d wanted to hear for so long. He whipped around to face you.

You nodded your head and brought down your own shield and hoped you would never have to use it again and you smiled as Obi Wan crossed the floor in three strides and took you in his arms and kissed you with a fierce passion you didn’t know he had. It felt different this time, the tether that had been holding you back from one another finally broke. This kiss had no lingering feelings of ‘what if’, this time, both of you were sure. You both groaned in relief at the feeling of it and Obi Wan kissed you with such strength that your spine curved and the only thing keeping you standing was the hold he had on you. You pulled away slightly and smiled against his lips. “How slowly were you walking to that door?”

“Master Yoda would’ve beaten me in a race.” Obi Wan said with a grin before he traced his lips down your neck. “Say it again.” He murmured against your skin.

Threading your fingers in his hair and sighing in pleasure at his actions, not minding the way his beard scratched your skin, you did as he asked. “I love you.” You said aloud, pulling him back up to kiss you. “I love you.” You said again as he kissed the other side of your neck and backed you up against the wall, his lips never leaving your skin.

“I love you too.” He let you shrug off his robe and he pushed the shoulders of your own robe down and his lips tracked the path of scars life had given you. He started with the puckered one on your shoulder before moving across the jagged line on your collarbone. He recalled Ventress’ words and he knew nothing would stop him from loving you the way he did. He planned to worship you for as long as he lived. Sensing your impatience however, he wrapped his hands around the backs of your thighs and lifted you up.

It wasn’t that you weren’t enjoying his actions, you were just eager for them to progress and as he lifted you up, you wrapped your legs around him and continued to kiss him. Bedroom.

Obi Wan didn’t need to be told twice. He carried you through to your room.

It was a frantic fumble to shed one another of your clothes since neither one of you wanted to part from the other. Once you both had successfully managed this, Obi Wan gently laid you down on the bed. He moved on top of you but just before he brought his lips to yours, he asked, How worried do I need to be about the gentleman you were pushing out the door this morning?

Well, that depends on your performance here, General Kenobi. You replied, a sly smile on your lips as you pulled him towards you. You didn’t miss the way his breath hitched slightly or the way his signature sparked with heightened interest. You made a mental note of that.

Later. Obi Wan said as he kissed the side of your neck, he knew now he wouldn’t be able to really hide things like that from you now, but he wasn’t wanting to explore that part of him yet. His focus was on you.

You let out a soft groan as he left his mark on you. You rolled your hips and kissed behind his ear before crooning, “But what if I want to now?”

Obi Wan couldn’t stifle the moan that left his mouth. He faltered in what he was doing and looked into your eyes and saw the devilish smile on your face and the seductive glint in your eyes. “You’re going- you’re- you’re going to make this difficult.” He said distractedly as you continued to push up against him.

“What? Can’t handle a bit of teasing, Kenobi?” You purred as you gently bit his lip before kissing him again and you threaded your fingers in his hair and tugged so as to bring him even closer. Your hand then drifted down his body and you smirked against his lips as you noticed the way his grip on the sheets of your bed tightened.

Obi Wan couldn’t help the satisfied moan that left his mouth and he let himself get lost in your touch for the moment but as he felt your hand leave him and both of them then go to his chest, he was able to remain strong enough to stop you from changing positions. He chuckled as he saw the frown on your face before he kissed you and brought your hands up and placed them on your bed frame. You’d had your fun; it was his turn now. Keep them there.

You gripped the metal frame before you broke away from the kiss for air. “What are you- oh.” You moaned as Obi Wan left another mark on your collarbone before his hand skimmed down your body. Chuckling, Obi Wan kissed you deeply and kept his hand where it was before he kissed his way down the same path his hand had taken.

Your breaths came out in short pants as his fingers continued to move but his mouth ghosted over where you wanted him most and instead left soft kisses to the insides of your thighs. Your hold on the frame tightened and you couldn’t stop the whine that left your mouth.

Obi Wan smirked as he glanced up at you. “What? Can’t handle a bit of teasing, darling?”

If you weren’t so annoyingly desperate, you would’ve thought of a fun way to wipe that smug smile off his face, but you just needed him now. “Kenobi, if you don’t- fuck!” You threw your head back against the pillow as he finally gave you what you wanted. The combination of his mouth and fingers brought you to the edge much faster than you’d anticipated.

Obi Wan worked you through it, not stopping until he felt your hands in his hair gently pulling him back up. I didn’t say you could move them yet. He taunted as he moved some strands of hair out your face.

I don’t fucking care. You hadn’t really caught your breath back yet, but you couldn’t help yourself. You grabbed the back of his neck and kissed him hungrily again and applied pressure to his chest.

This time, he allowed you to push him off you and straddle him.

How long have we got? You asked as you kissed your way down his chest, taking your time as you paid close attention to his own battle-weary body, kissing each nick and scar as you continued to go lower.

Ah yes, reality. The concept seemed so far away right now. He groaned at your touch; his brain unable to form a complete sentence with what you were doing right now. Long enough. That was all he could manage, though he knew that time with you would never be long enough.

“Did you know I tried to leave?” You asked quietly as you laid your head on his chest. “I thought leaving Coruscant would make things easier but every time I got in line for a ship, I thought of you, and I felt you and I couldn’t do it and even though it drove me crazy, the holonet and this thing the Force created were the only two ways I knew you were still alive, so I stayed. I didn’t have it in me to go.”

Obi Wan continued to paint little patterns on your shoulder with his fingertips, his attentions alternating between there and the scar that Grievous had given you. “It wouldn’t have mattered if you’d left; I’d have found you. You could go to the furthest planet in the galaxy and live in the middle of nowhere and I’d still find my way back to you. This bond between us, it’s not something that can be broken, you’re a part of me now and you always will be, darling. Sorry, old habit.” He mumbled as he kissed the top of your head.

“Hmm, I quite like it actually.” You replied, angling your head up to kiss him. “I think that was why I fought you on it so much.”

Obi Wan let out a soft laugh before he brought his lips to yours. After a few moments, he broke away and pushed some hair from your face. “I’m going to leave the Jedi Order.”

Your eyes widened and you sat up so you could face him properly. “No, you’re not.”

“Yes, I am.”

“Obi Wan, I’m not asking you to do that. I understand what this means for us. I can deal with the secrecy. You can’t just-”

“I know you’re not asking me, darling. This is what I want. I waited once before for someone to ask me and I’m not making that mistake with you. After this blasted war is done, I’ll leave. We just have to live in secret until then, but we can’t live our lives like that, it wouldn’t be fair to either of us. Dooku is dead, all that remains of the Separatists is Grievous. Once we kill him, it’s over.”

One look in his eyes told you that he was firm in his decision. “If you’re sure…”

“I’m certain. I love you and I cannot remain a part of something that would forbid that for reasons that have brought me nothing but happiness.”

You moved so that you were straddling his lap once more and his hands fell to your hips. “Thank you.” You whispered, kissing his lips softly. It soon turned into something more and you began to subtly grind your hips against him, an act he mirrored and one that left both of you softly groaning into one another’s mouths. Just as you felt Obi Wan get ready to move you onto your back, you heard the dreaded sound of his communicator beeping.

Obi Wan somehow found the strength to tear himself away from you. “I have to go.” But he still couldn’t help but plant light kisses up and down your neck.

You closed your eyes and let him continue for a few moments before you let out a sigh. “I know.” You conceded rather unhappily, moving away from him. You tossed your head back against your pillow with a frustrated huff before you sat up on your elbows and watched as he put his Jedi robes back on and then a rather wicked idea popped into your head. You slipped a hand between your legs and let out a soft whimper.

Obi Wan turned sharply to the sound of your happy sigh and his mouth went dry as he saw what you were doing. The strength he’d found to leave you was now evaporating swiftly so he had to act fast. He walked over towards you. “Not- shit-.” He broke off with a groan as he watched you and he could barely get any words out. He took a deep breath and forced himself to speak. “Not without me.” He rasped, not concealing the utterly wrecked nature of his voice as he grabbed your wrist.

You smirked and guided his hand so that it brought your own to your mouth and sucked whilst sending a not-so-subtle reminder to him of what your mouth was capable of doing to him.

Obi Wan just about choked. Shit shit shit shit.

You hummed out a laugh as you heard that.

“Fuck, darling. Please. I’m only human.” Obi Wan begged, his voice hoarse as he watched you. His communicator beeped again but he was only paying attention to you now.

“Hmm still tastes like you.” You said, your voice sultry as you looked up at him. “You sure you don’t want a taste?” You spread your legs wider and lightly traced up and down his thigh.

Obi Wan was sure his brain had short circuited. He swallowed thickly but couldn’t find the ability to speak. His communicator continued to beep incessantly but he was getting to the point where he was fully prepared to fling it against the wall. Holding onto the last thread of logic he had, he found his voice once more, but he scarcely recognised it. “Darling… please. Just wait a little longer. Please.”

He sounded so completely undone and desperate that you knew it wouldn’t take much now to convince him to stay but you couldn’t risk him being found out so soon. You took pity on the man and released him. “Well, when are-”

“After your shift.” He answered, probably too quickly for there to be any chance of him holding onto any slice of dignity but he simply did not care. He planned on memorising every inch of your skin and while this morning had certainly started that process, he knew he wasn’t close to being done.

You tilted your head at him and laughed. “I knew I wasn’t crazy. You were there two nights ago.”

“I had to see you. I’d been to that diner every day before I got sent into the Outer Rim, but I’d never gone in until that night. I nearly stepped in with that man, but you seemed to have it handled.”

“He’s an ass but he’s harmless.”

“And do I need to be worried?” He said with a teasing lilt to his voice.

You smirked. “Come back tonight and I’ll let you know. We have some things that need exploring.”

Obi Wan chuckled. “Until tonight then.” He kissed your forehead but as he went to turn away you grabbed his wrist and hauled him back towards you.

This kiss was deep and intense, and you think your body’s subconscious attempt to get him to stay a bit longer. You only let him go once your lungs insisted that they have oxygen.

“Tonight, can’t come fast enough.” Obi Wan panted, keeping his forehead pressed against yours.

“You better go before I trap you here.” You said as you caught your breath.

“You make that sound like it’s a bad thing.”

You laughed and pushed his chest. “Get outta here, Kenobi.”

“Goodbye darling. I love you.”

“I love you too.” You called after him and only when you heard the door shut did you fall back against your pillows and let out a deep sigh. You would never get tired of saying that.

After a few minutes, you stood up- on rather shaky legs- and walked into your small living space and that was when you noticed them. Your breath caught in your throat as you walked over your living room table and laying there, on a beige cloth, was your lightsaber and your master’s lightsaber. You grinned to yourself as you picked them up. You really loved that man. And you couldn’t wait until this war was over, after that, everything would be just right.

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