obi-wan: i don’t think we can mansplain, manipulate or malewife our way out of it this time
anakin: [cracking his knuckles]
anakin: manslaughter it is
imagine being darth vader waiting LITERALLY twenty years to kill obi wan kenobi. revenge is one of the few things keeping you going. your time finally comes when your old master boards the death star. and instead of putting up a proper fight he lets you strike him down and has the audacity to disappear into thin air leaving only his fucking robes! how utterly unsatisfying. obi wan knew what he was doing. that lil smirk said it all. he asked himself, am I the drama? why yes! and poofed out of existence
It's Anakin, what were you expecting...?
Or, the Anakin & Padmé Meme, a tragedy(?) in four parts.
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stuff they actually let happen on Star Wars: The Clone Wars
Godzilla tried to eat Chancellor Palpatine
Darth Maul came back from the dead as a crime boss with robot legs and had a giant angry brother named Savage
Jabba the Hutt’s uncle was an offensive gay stereotype
Palpatine had a gigantic forehead for literally no reason
They named a Jedi “I’m Gonna Die” and then killed him
Some senator had a sex robot
All the Twi’leks had French accents
Ahsoka got hunted for sport
Anakin had to do elaborate BDSM roleplay with an evil cat lady
Dooku was almost murdered by the Macbeth witches
Yoda made contact with Qui-Gon Jinn’s ghost but the other Jedi just thought he had dementia
0.07 seconds after leaving the Jedi Order, Ahsoka crashed her motorcycle, got a girlfriend, and ended up smuggling drugs for the mob
Anakin and Obi-Wan met the physical incarnations of the Dark and Light Sides of the Force and they looked like a goth drama queen and his cottagecore sister and both of them were furries
Ahsoka got bit by an evil rat which made her evil for awhile
Jar Jar killed a guy
WHHAT THE FUCJKSKS LMAKSKSKS
I looked up “Obi-Wan costume” to get some ideas for Halloween and—KSKSKDKSKAJJSKSK
What in the Sith-blazing-hells is this—?!
Guys, someone has to draw Obi-Wan casually going into battle in this outfit.
Cody, shouting: I said more armor! What in the Sith-blazing-hells is this shit?
Obi-Wan, arms crossed: My body is my own, Commander Cody, and I will wear what I wish.
Cody: No due respect whatsoever, General Kenobi, but if you so much as sneeze in that outfit, your ass is going to be plastered all over the holonet.
Anakin smirking with a holocamera out: A little late for that, Commander.
revenge of the sith is still so fucking funny, because, like, the separatists invade coruscant, and kidnap the head of state. that’s a war-winning action. at that point, they just motherfucking won the war, unless a miracle happens. and then you have half the jedi council and a bunch of other jedi just chilling in the jedi temple, on their fucking doomsday, feet propped up and relaxing, and the council still chooses to call anakin and obi-wan from the other ass-end of the galaxy in the “outer rim sieges” to come fix this shit, like yoda wasn’t right motherfucking there. yoda was sitting on the fucking couch! and they STILL called obi-wan and anakin from the OTHER END OF THE GALAXY. in no ways was anakin spiritually prepared to be a jedi master, but motherfucker i kind of get why he was pissed. i kind of understand that. if i got called into work to save the day and i walked in and the rest of the staff was just sitting, and i still saved the day, and then they denied me a promotion, i’d have fucking quit. he’s not spiritually ready by any means and in fact he’s deeply turbofucked, but i understand where he was coming from. i understand, man.
Obi-Wan "cant sit normal" Kenobi
Famous last words before disaster