#oc:freddie

[hejanic]

Been experimenting w brush making <3

#art.png #clip studio paint #ocs #oc:Freddie #artists on tumblr #id in alt text

[jaysworlds]

It’s been a few days since the fight with Trix, since Alexei died, and Freddie still isn’t used to having him gone. He still wakes up every morning and reaches out for him only to find him gone, the bed cold.

It hurts. Every time he looks for Alexei only to realise he’s gone it hurts. Some mornings he struggles to even get out of bed.

Today is particularly bad. He dreams about Alexei almost every night, but most nights it’s only nightmares, forced to watch him die over and over.

Last night was … different. He’d dreamt of Alexei alive, and happy, and the loneliness when he wakes is worse than usual.

He reaches for Alexei, as he always does, and as always there’s no one there.

It hurts more, having dreamt about him. Having had him right there, just to slip through his fingers.

The dream is already fading, but Freddie can still remember Alexei smiling, can still remember the sound of his laugh echoing in his ears.

He sits up, rubbing his eyes, and finds he’s already crying.

The others are probably already getting up, but he can’t bring himself to, not right now. Instead he buries his face in the shirt he’s been wearing for days (Alexei’s, a size too small) and tries to inhale as much of his familiar sea-salt smell as he can.

It’s already fading. He’s hardly been dead a week, and it’s already fading, as though he’d never worn it at all.

“I’m sorry,” Freddie whispers, absently twisting the thin gold band around his finger. Alexei’s is strung on the necklace around his neck, that he’d pressed into Freddie’s hands with shaking, bloody hands and whispered remember me.

As though Freddie could possibly forget.

“I’m sorry,” he says again, curling up under the weight of his grief. “I’m sorry I couldn’t save you.”

He lays back down again, rolling over to face the empty space in their tent where Alexei should be.

“I miss you,” he says, reaching out to rest his hand in Alexei’s space. If Alexei were here he would link their fingers together, and Freddie would smile, kissing his fingers, and tell him I love you.

“I love you,” he says, though Alexei isn’t here to hear it. “I love you. I miss you.”

He exhales slowly, squeezing his hand into a fist. There are tears slipping down his face and soaking into the pillow.

“I dreamt you were alive,” he whispers, closing his eyes and trying to hold on to what’s left of the dream. “And you were happy. I wish I could have made you happy.”

Alexei had been happy so rarely, when he’d still been here. Always carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, and Freddie wishes now he’d done more to help. Wishes there had been anything he could do.

The happiest he’d ever seen Alexei had been their wedding, and even then they’d both known they had so little time.

And now Alexei’s gone.

Freddie misses him so much.

#febuwhump2022 #febuwhumpalt4 #olivia you said you wanted more frelexei content and here you are :) #something something monkey's paw #anyway i love them very much F to alexei #oc:freddie #oc:alexei #otp:frelexei #wip:8gp #writing #my writing #writeblr

[d3li]

Theyy!!!!!! bug boy bug boy bug boy bug boy bug boy bug boy bug bo- 

@verticalpirates​ appreciate my kid

#Doodles #art #my art #bug boy #Oc:FREDDIE #artists on tumblr #Artists of Tumblr #digital #digital art #digital drawing

[jaysworlds]

Whumptober 2021 Day Sixteen

It’s over. The field is quiet, the black mist dissipated. Trix is finally gone.

And so is Alexei.

There’s barely even anything left to burn. The fight with Trix tore his body to ragged pieces, and what’s left is unrecognisable.

Freddie can only hope he was dead by the time it started. He doesn’t want to imagine the pain he would have suffered if he had somehow still been alive.

He had seemed dead, at least. The knife Freddie had buried in his chest had done its job, and the screaming that came after was easily inhuman enough to have belonged to Trix.

Freddie hopes, at least. Alexei deserved to die in peace after everything he’s been through. In as much peace as anyone can ever really die.

It doesn’t feel real, not yet. It’s easy to pretend, with the body – Alexei’s body – so torn and broken, the ground around them and Freddie’s hands coated with gore. Nothing remains but blood and viscera and whisps of golden hair.

It feels … like someone else. Like no one at all. Freddie’s seen enough death by now, seen enough people die at Alexei’s hand, but this doesn’t feel like death, not really. It doesn’t even look like a body.

He can’t move away, though. He’s tried, tried to force himself to his feet and to the river, to clean his hands, to do … something, anything.

But he can’t. He’s just kneeling here, in the blood and the dust and the dirt. And staring.

The others are … somewhere. Lux is sitting opposite him, her hands clean of the gore soaking into the dirt. She hasn’t moved since Cas fell.

He doesn’t know about the rest. Maybe they’re gone. Maybe they’re dead. Maybe it’s just him and Lux left.

He doesn’t know. He doesn’t care. He doesn’t feel anything at all.

The sun is still crawling across the sky, slipping down towards the horizon. Soon it will be too dark to see the blood soaking into the ground beneath them.

Maybe it will be easier then, but he doesn’t think so. The air is permeated with the stench of blood and of death, impossible to escape. It will take a very, very long time to wash it out of his hair, out of the pores of his skin. If he manages it at all. He can’t help but think his hands are stained for good. Everything he touches from here on out will be stained red with the gore he can’t escape.

He can’t help but blame himself. At least a little. Perhaps if he had been better, then this would never have happened. Perhaps if he hadn’t failed Alexei. His husband.

Till death do us part.

He’d known they hadn’t had much time, but he had never thought it would end so soon. It wasn’t enough. No amount of time would ever have been enough.

Grace had warned them. Grace had warned them, and he hadn’t listened.

No one ever has enough time.

Freddie had thought perhaps, for them, it would be different. Because … what? Because he loved Alexei. Because he thought that would be enough.

He had been naïve.

And now, it’s over.

He knows, distantly, that it isn’t over, not really, and soon he’ll have to force himself to his feet and keep going. Someone has to, after all.

He wishes it didn’t have to be him. He wishes he could stay here, with Alexei. But he can’t.

Later he’ll get up, help Lux to her feet. They’ll burn the bodies and scorch the earth beneath, ensure nothing ever grows here again. Ensure the land here never forgets, even after they’re gone. They’ll find the others, and they won’t speak of what happened.

But for now he doesn’t move. He can’t.

#whumptober2021 #no.16 #aftermath #oc #fic #blood #gore #death #body horror #(im not entirely sure its quite body horror but better safe than sorry) #im serious so much gore #this one is so fucked up and i love it a lot #it should be read in jonny d'villes voice fyi #thats how it sounds the best #i dont know why #(yes i do its because ive been listening to gptvtmk religiously) #oc:freddie #oc:alexei #(even if he is mostly just a little pile of blood and guts in this) #oc:trix #oc:lux #oc:cas #yeah im tagging all the dead ones suck it up #oc:grace #otp:frelexei #wip:8gp #writing #writeblr #my writing

[jaysworlds]

“Let’s get moving,” he said, clicking his tongue to encourage Kai to her feet. She snapped lazily at him, clearly not happy about having to get up, but she didn’t protest.

Alexei said something in his own tongue, sounding a little amused.

“What does that mean?” Freddie blurted out, before he could think about it, and Alexei blinked at him.

“It means like … are you upset? Are you angry?”

Freddie gave him a little smile. “Really?”

Alexei shrugged. “Well, she is. Aren’t you?”

He said the same thing again, and Kai just yawned. Alexei smiled, reaching out to scratch her jaw, and said something else.

Freddie didn’t ask this time, but Alexei glanced up and he must have seen the look on his face, because he answered anyway.

“It means lazy girl.”

Freddie huffed a faint laugh. “You’re mean to her.”

Alexei shook his head, a faint smile pulling at his lips. “She is a lazy girl. Aren’t you? Aren’t you lazy?”

Kai chirped at him, and she seemed to be intending to curl back up on the ground. Alexei shook his head, saying something else in his own tongue, and started walking again. She reluctantly drifted after him.

Freddie followed as well, stumbling a little in his haste to catch up. “Don’t be rude to her.”

“I am rude to her,” Alexei said, sounding completely unrepentant. “She deserves it.”

“She doesn’t,” Freddie insisted, putting a hand on Kai’s back. “She’s a good girl. You’re a good girl, ignore him.”

Alexei shook his head, saying something in his own tongue. “She’s lazy. I’m going to tell her she’s naughty.”

“Don’t listen to him,” Freddie told Kai, serious. “You’re a very good girl. You’ve been very helpful, helping us make it all this way.”

“She’d rather be sleeping,” Alexei told him.

“So would I,” Freddie pointed out, and that startled a laugh out of Alexei.

“Well, me too, I suppose.”

Freddie didn’t say anything for a long moment. He hadn’t heard Alexei laugh before, and it had taken him off guard. He had a nice laugh, and Freddie was delighted that he had managed to make him laugh.

He swallowed once, and again, biting his lip, and finally managed to speak. “Tell her she’s good,” he said, hoping to make Alexei smile.

It worked. Alexei smiled, just a little, and turned to Kai, saying something in his own tongue.

“Did you tell her?” Freddie asked, and Alexei nodded. “Good.”

“She doesn’t deserve it,” he said, light and a little teasing.

“She does,” Freddie insisted, and scratched her under the jaw. “She deserves to be told she’s a good girl and given little scritches.”

“You’re soft on her,” Alexei said, and Freddie huffed.

“Because she deserves it.”

“Does she?”

“She does,” Freddie said. “She’s come all this way with us, and she let us ride her for a while.”

“I suppose,” Alexei said, a smile pulling at his mouth. “Alright. I suppose she’s a good girl.”

He turned to her and spoke in his own tongue. Freddie tried to imagine what he was saying. You hear that? Maybe. You are a good girl.

“What did you tell her?” Freddie asked, and Alexei gave him a little half-smile.

“I told her I guess you’re alright.”

“That’s still mean,” Freddie pointed out, and Alexei only hummed.

“That’s nice.”

“You’re mean to her.”

“It’s because I love her,” Alexei told her. “She doesn’t mind.”

“I bet she does,” Freddie said. He was delighted Alexei was willing to have this long of a conversation with him, to be honest. Even if Freddie had technically asked him please talk to him. But all he’d really asked was for Alexei to talk, he’d never said they actually had to have a nice conversation.

“She doesn’t,” Alexei said. “She told me.”

“Did she?” Freddie said, somewhere between curious and disbelieving. He didn’t exactly believe that Alexei understood what Kai was saying, but also Alexei had said it very seriously, and Freddie supposed that maybe there was a chance.

“She did,” Alexei told him, not giving him any indication whether or not it was a joke. “She said Alexei, I know you love me, and I don’t mind if you’re a little bit mean sometimes.”

“Really?” Freddie said, genuine, and Alexei laughed, for the second time in one conversation.

“No, of course not. She’s a wyrm.”

“Oh,” Freddie said, rubbing the back of his neck a little awkwardly, but he couldn’t exactly be upset about it. Not when it had made Alexei laugh.

you know that post thats like. one person calls the cat a precious baby boy and the other swings him around and goes ‘stinky! stinky!’

yeah thats them

#my writing #oc:freddie #oc:alexei #oc:kai #wip:8gp

[jaysworlds]

Whumptober 2021 Day Thirty-One

There are a lot of things they don’t talk about. A lot of things Alexei would happily take to his grave without ever having spoken aloud.

He’s not the only one, though. He knows there are things Freddie hasn’t told him, things that perhaps Freddie’s never going to tell him, and he’s alright with that.

He watches Freddie wince when it gets too loud and sit on his hands to stop himself from shifting around and cut himself off when he gets too excited. There’s nothing he can do to change the past, but he can whisper let’s get out of here and he can say no, go on and watch as Freddie’s face lights up as he talks. He’s so beautiful.

Freddie sees things in him, too. He knows that. Watches Alexei flinch when anyone raises a hand around him, sit just far enough away so they’re not touching, wake screaming from nightmares every night.

And he’s so good. Lets Alexei touch him on his own time, says it’s alright, when he doesn’t want to touch at all, whispers it’s alright, and you’re safe and I’ve got you when Alexei is shaking in the night.

And it helps. He makes Alexei feel safe.

They’re both a little fucked up, in their own way. They’re both a little broken, trying to fix the cracks in each other without really knowing how.

Alexei doesn’t know if it’s working. He doesn’t know if they’re going to come out of this a little better for having loved each other, or if when it’s all over they’re both going to crumble. He doesn’t think he really cares, because all that matters is here and now, and here and now he feels safe, and he feels loved.

It’s not going to be enough to fix them. That much he knows. They’re both too broken to be fixed by a kiss and a gentle whisper of I love you, but perhaps it’s a start. Perhaps it’s better than not being loved at all.

Freddie’s started singing, recently. Humming under his breath while he works, singing little tunes and little snatches of lyric. Alexei doesn’t know if he even realises he’s doing it, but he seems happy, smiling to himself as he sings little nonsense songs.

Alexei never mentions it to him, just watches, listening to him humming.

He hopes it means that he’s happy, that he’s comfortable. That Alexei makes him feel as safe as he makes Alexei.

Alexei thinks he’s happier, too. He looks up to find Freddie watching him, one morning, and when he asks Freddie just shrugs.

“You were smiling,” he says, and Alexei realises that he was. He isn’t entirely sure why, he just … is.

Maybe he’s happy.

Freddie shifts a little closer, and Alexei reaches out to take his hand, linking their fingers together. Everything’s a little easier here. Together.

Freddie smiles, eyes crinkling at the corners like they do when he’s happy, not just smiling because he feels as though he should, and Alexei leans in to kiss the crinkles. Because he can. Because he wants to.

It makes Freddie laugh, and Alexei’s so in love with him.

“I love you,” he says, and Freddie’s face softens into something else. Something fond.

“I love you too,” he says, and for once Alexei can believe him.

This feels good. It feels like … feeling better.

It feels like happy.

#whumptober2021 #no.31 #trauma #oc #fic #abuse #this is only a little whumpy #theyre in love #just dont think too hard about how this ends for them #oc:alexei #oc:freddie #otp:frelexei #wip:8gp #writing #writeblr #my writing

[jaysworlds]

“We must be in [earth] now,” he said, as they were settling down. Kai put her head in Freddie’s lap and refused to move.

Alexei just nodded.

Freddie sat quietly for a moment before he couldn’t help fidgeting, just a little. “It’s … a bit odd, isn’t it? I’ve never been out of [fire] on my own before.”

Alexei looked up at him, and Freddie could see he wasn’t impressed, even in the flickering half-light the flame cast. “Wow.”

Freddie picked at the sleeves of his coat. “It … I know it doesn’t sound very impressive. But it’s very new. To me, at least.”

He sort of expected Alexei to make fun of him, but he didn’t. Just shook his head. “Well, you’re not alone.”

alexei? being nice to freddie? its more likely than you think

#also the reason the place names are like that is because theyre placeholder #they dont have names yet #my writing #wip:8gp #oc:freddie #oc:alexei

[jaysworlds]

Whumptober 2021 Day Twenty-Eight

Alexei has been restless for the past hour. He woke Freddie a while ago, because he’s always been a light sleeper and he wakes easily when Alexei starts shifting.

Freddie isn’t really sure what to do. He doesn’t know if Alexei’s having nightmares again or if he’s just not sleeping well, and he’s always so tired. Freddie doesn’t want to wake him for no reason.

For a while he just watches, sitting up in their bed and watching as Alexei shifts, tossing this way and that. Freddie wants to pull him into his arms, wants to stroke a hand through his hair and hush him until he settles again, but he knows that will only make it worse. If Alexei wakes in his arms he’ll panic, and Freddie knows from experience that best case scenario he gets an elbow to the ribs, worst case Alexei freezes up and is unresponsive for an hour or more.

So for now he’s just watching Alexei shift around in his sleep, eyelids fluttering.

At least until his shifting turns to thrashing, and he cries out, sobbing. He still doesn’t wake, though, and Freddie knows he struggles to wake up when he’s caught by the nightmares.

“Alexei,” Freddie murmurs, reaching out to touch his shoulder. Alexei must feel it in his sleep, because he flinches away, mumbling something inaudible.

“Alexei,” Freddie says again, a little louder, and shakes him gently.

He still doesn’t wake, just cries out again.

Freddie sits up a little more, rubbing sleep from his eyes, and shakes Alexei more firmly. Sometimes it takes some time to wake him up, but so far he’s never been so far under that Freddie didn’t manage at all.

“Come on,” Freddie murmurs, as Alexei sobs again and curls in on himself, flinching away from Freddie’s hand on his shoulder. The fact that he can feel Freddie is probably a good sign, but it still breaks Freddie’s heart to see him like this.

“It’s alright,” he says, though he has no idea if Alexei can even hear him. “It’s alright. You’re safe, I’ve got you. I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

He would never say anything like that to Alexei if he were awake. He’d only roll his eyes, and Freddie knows he can’t protect Alexei from everything. He wishes he could, though, wishes he could say I won’t let anyone even touch you if you don’t want them to and mean it.

Alexei doesn’t wake as Freddie shakes him again, but Freddie likes to imagine his voice helps, just a little.

“It’s alright,” he says, for a third time. “You’re safe, love. It’s just me, I’m not going to let anyone hurt you. Not anymore. I love you.”

It feels … safe, saying it here, in the darkness, with no one but Kai and Alexei’s sleeping form to hear him. Alexei’s never said I love you to him in as many words, and Freddie tries not to say it too much for fear of overwhelming him. Still, he does love him.

Alexei sobs again, curling into a shaking ball, and Freddie does the thing he hates having to do and slaps him awake. Alexei’s told him to do it, said I’d rather be awake so many times, but that doesn’t mean Freddie likes hitting him.

It works, though. He wakes with a choked off scream and sits bolt upright, damp hair sticking to his forehead.

Freddie wants to reach out and pull him closer, but Alexei might not want that.

“Alexei,” he says, soft and sweet, and Alexei jerks around to look at him, eyes wide and glassy. “It’s just me.”

“Freddie,” Alexei says, half mumbled, and reaches out towards him. Freddie meets him halfway, pressing their palms together.

“Freddie,” Alexei says again, clearer this time, and then he’s in Freddie’s lap, pressing against his chest and tucking his face into the crook of his neck.

This is very, very rare, and Freddie treasures these moments. He wraps his arms around Alexei and buries his nose in his hair, inhaling slowly.

It won’t last, he knows that. Alexei’s tolerance for touch is generally lower than usual like this, when he wakes from nightmares.

For now, though, he’s letting Freddie hold him, and Freddie is going to treasure that as long as he can. He loves it when Alexei seeks comfort from him, actually feels useful for once, as much as he knows that backing off when Alexei needs him to is just as helpful.

He plays gently with Alexei’s hair, feels as his breathing slows again. He’s not quite brave enough to whisper it’s alright, I’ve got you, but he thinks it as hard as he can and hopes Alexei gets the message from how close Freddie holds him.

He moves away eventually, cuddles back down into the blankets, and Freddie lays down next to him, shifting onto his side so they’re facing each other.

“I’m sorry for waking you,” Alexei whispers, and Freddie shakes his head.

“I don’t mind.”

Alexei gives him the faint ghost of a smile. “Thank you for being patient with me.”

“It’s alright,” Freddie says, and reaches out, stopping just short of touching him. “You’re worth it.”

Alexei reaches out too, so just their pinkies are touching, and doesn’t say anything else. His eyelids are beginning to flutter closed again.

“Sleep,” Freddie whispers, and Alexei nods. He seems to already be drifting off again.

Freddie watches him until his chest is rising and falling evenly, breath just ghosting across their joined hands. He seems at peace, at least for now.

“I love you,” Freddie whispers, again, and closes his eyes.

#whumptober2021 #no.28 #nightmares #oc #fic #they are in love your honour #also i imagine alexei is actually awake right at the end and hes secretly like 'dkjsdfh he loves me :blushy:' #for someone who pretends to have no feelings hes extremely soft #and i love him #oc:alexei #oc:freddie #otp:frelexei #wip:8gp #writing #writeblr #my writing

[jaysworlds]

Whumptober 2021 Day Eight

Alexei’s slipping again. He can feel it in the way the world starts to slip around him when he isn’t focusing, the way his head gets fuzzy when he focuses too much.

He doesn’t know what to do about it. He doesn’t know what he can do about it.

He hasn’t told the others, and nor does he intend to. They’ll only hover, ask awkward questions and try to help, and it will only make it worse. Alexei would rather just deal with it on his own.

Not that he’s dealing with it very well. He keeps losing time, closing his eyes for a moment and waking up hours later. The others don’t seem to have noticed, which is the only relief he has. He can’t let them know this is happening to him.

Freddie seems to know something’s wrong. He would, of course, because he sees Alexei so much. They spend most of their days together, and if anyone noticed it would be him.

It scares Alexei. He doesn’t know what’s happening to him, only that if it keeps happening he doesn’t know if he’s going to be able to stop himself from hurting someone, and he’s so, so afraid that it’s going to be Freddie.

Freddie doesn’t deserve that. Freddie deserves so much better than this, than him. He deserves someone who isn’t slowly losing control over his own mind.

Alexei doesn’t know how to tell him. Doesn’t think he can tell him, really. He needs Freddie, far more than he’d ever wanted to need anyone. Losing him would break him.

He tells Var. She’s noticed something’s off, and when he blacks out he often wakes up to her curling sadly around his legs. He’s not sure how she knows, but she does.

“I don’t know what’s happening,” he whispers to her, when Freddie’s asleep and it’s just him and her awake, lulled by the gentle back and forth of the ship. “I can’t control it.”

Var chirps quietly and licks his nose. He gives her a tiny smile, wrapping his arms around her neck. She can’t understand, but it helps that she’s here.

Freddie stirs behind him and Alexei rolls over to face him, watching him as he sleeps.

Var shifts so her head is on Alexei’s stomach, and he absently scratches her behind the jaw, eyes still on Freddie.

He exhales slowly in his sleep, shifts a little towards Alexei. It’s dark, just the moonlight coming in through the tiny window illuminating his face.

Alexei could reach out and touch him. He doesn’t, but he thinks about it. Thinks about brushing the hair from his face, leaning in to kiss the corner of his mouth. Thinks about snuggling closer, burying himself against Freddie’s chest and hoping that the closeness drives away the fog and the darkness hiding in the corners of his mind.

But he doesn’t. Just watches as Freddie shifts around in his sleep.

He doesn’t mean to fall asleep like that, but he does, and when he wakes up he’s standing on the deck, staring out at the black sea. It’s still, like glass, and he can barely feel the motion of the ship.

There’s no one around. No stars in the sky, no moons. Just endless darkness.

Maybe this is a dream. Maybe it isn’t. Alexei isn’t sure.

He stares out at the ocean, and sees things moving beneath the surface. Huge things, creatures he doesn’t even want to imagine.

It feels like a dream. A nightmare, maybe.

He doesn’t know if he’s alone. He doesn’t feel alone, really, but when he looks behind him there’s no one there. The ship is deserted.

He doesn’t know what he’d find if he explored. Maybe the others are here, maybe they aren’t. It doesn’t really matter, not right now.

He looks back at the sea, the still, glassy surface. He can feel it calling to him, but he’s afraid to reach out, afraid of what he’ll find.

Try it.

He doesn’t know who spoke. He’s alone here, but he knows they’re speaking to him.

“I don’t want to,” he says, but his body moves against his will, reaching a hand out over the ocean, bending it to his will.

It’s remarkably easy. He can feel it coursing through him and into the waves. The sea begins to churn, and he knows if he wanted to he could drag this whole ship down into the depths.

He feels … powerful.

It feels good.

Alexei drops his arm, lets the sea go back to being still and glassy. “Let me go.”

He doesn’t know who he’s speaking to. He doesn’t know if he’s speaking to anyone.

Don’t you want it? That power?

“Let me go.”

The voice laughs, echoing in his head and off the surface of the ocean.

You will.

Alexei clenches his fist, and the ocean begins to boil again. “Let me go!”

The voice laughs, and laughs, and laughs, but the dream begins to fade.

When he wakes he finds himself up on the deck of the real ship, with no recollection of how he got there.

It scares him.

#whumptober2021 #altno.1 #losing control #oc #fic #nightmares #unreality #this should probably have more tags but I Dont Know What #anyway enjoy this little chunk of alexei losing his mind #i would love to say it all works out fine but like #it doesnt </3 #also alexei's var is freddies kai just if thats confusing #oc:alexei #oc:freddie #oc:kai #oc:trix #(because he IS there) #otp:frelexei #wip:8gp #writing #my writing #writeblr

[jaysworlds]

Whumptober 2021 Day Five

It’s been a few weeks since Alexei kissed him, and a few weeks minus a handful of days since he said it was nothing. Forget about it.

Freddie can’t forget about it. He keeps replying it in his head over and over. Alexei’s whispered do you trust me? His lips, soft and chapped against Freddie’s. Freddie had never kissed anyone before.

He doesn’t understand why Alexei did it, if it was nothing. He’d thought they were getting somewhere, thought they were at least friends, and now Alexei seems to have completely withdrawn again.

They can’t even talk about it. Freddie’s grateful to Terri and Miles, of course he’s grateful, but they haven’t had a moment to themselves since it happened.

Even if they were alone, Freddie thinks Alexei would find a way around talking about it. He seems to have almost been avoiding Freddie, and it hurts.

Freddie offered Alexei his heart and Alexei refused him. He doesn’t know what to do with himself now.

He’s doesn’t know if he’s in love with Alexei, exactly, but he’s never felt this way about anyone before. He could have dealt with it if Alexei had never given him hope, but now he just feels … lost. Adrift.

Maybe there’s something wrong with him. Maybe he should understand what’s going on, maybe to anyone else it would be glaringly obvious, but he doesn’t. He’s just confused.

Kai doesn’t offer much help, but she’s a comfort, at least. She cuddles up close to him when he curls up by himself away from the others and tries to cry quietly, licks away his tears.

“I don’t understand,” he whispers to her. The others are all asleep, and it’s just him and her, cuddled together by the embers of the dying fire.

She chirps and licks his cheeks. He’s sure she just likes the salt, but at least it feels like she’s trying to comfort him.

“He kissed me,” he tells her, like he has so many times by now. She must be sick of hearing it, but she doesn’t leave him alone. Just licks his face again. “I don’t understand why he’s trying to pretend it never happened.”

Maybe he regrets it. Maybe he just didn’t want to die never having kissed anyone (not that Freddie knows whether he’s ever kissed anyone before) and Freddie just happened to be the most convenient option.

Do you trust me? he’d said. Freddie did trust him. Still does, even despite everything. If he asked Freddie would kiss him again in a heartbeat.

He wants to kiss him again. Because he’s gone and fallen for someone who barely even seems to care about him at all.

It hurts, somewhere in his chest, when he thinks about it too hard. He’d heard the term broken heart before, of course, but he didn’t think it would actually feel like that. Didn’t think it would actually hurt.

He’s still holding on to some sort of hope, though. Sometimes he catches Alexei watching him across the fire, and then he looks away when he realises Freddie’s noticed. He doesn’t understand, but he can hope.

Hope is all he has, really.

#whumptober2021 #no.5 #misunderstanding #oc #fic #oc:freddie #oc:alexei #oc:kai #wip:8gp #this is the sequel to yesterday's fic #it does work out for them but it takes an awful lot of misunderstandings and dancing around talking about it #but to summerise alexei is mostly just nervous for various (reasonably justified) reasons #and also really shit at communicating #tomorrow we are back to our regularly scheduled alexei whump #my writing #writing #writeblr

[jaysworlds]

Whumptober 2021 Day Four

“Do you trust me?” Freddie says, urgent.

No, Alexei wants to tell him. No, of course not. Why would I?

He doesn’t have a choice, though. Either he takes the hand Freddie is offering him or he falls, perhaps to his death. It’s hardly a choice at all, not after he’s fought so hard to survive.

“Alexei,” Freddie says, and reaches for him again. “Please.”

Alexei’s beginning to slip. He has a few seconds at most to make his decision. Trust someone he has no reason to trust, or fall.

He takes the hand. Freddie’s fingers wrap tight around his wrist and for a moment he’s safe.

But Freddie’s never done a day’s work in his life, and he wouldn’t know how to properly secure himself. Especially not laying on his belly and leaning out over the pit.

Alexei has never been heavy, but as Freddie tries to pull him up they both begin to slip down.

This is the point where Alexei should regret ever trusting him. This is the point where Freddie should let him fall, save himself at the cost of Alexei’s life.

But he doesn’t. His fingers only tighten around Alexei’s wrist as he scrabbles for purchase on the muddy bank of the pit.

Alexei doesn’t think he’d blame him for letting go. Saving himself. Alexei should be nothing to him.

Freddie never ceases to surprise him, though. He keeps his hold on Alexei’s wrist even as he slips closer to the edge of the pit, even as the dirt gives out beneath him, even as they both begin to fall.

They’re going to die. Alexei is going to be killed by his own stupidity, and Freddie is going to die because he would rather fall than betray Alexei’s trust.

Alexei doesn’t know what to do with that. He has a long, long moment to think about it, as they fall together, but he doesn’t come to any conclusion. Doesn’t understand why anyone would put trying to save him over their own life.

They don’t die. Not immediately. They’re stopped, abruptly, by a net over the bottom of the pit, a net that gives a little as they hit it.

It’s like no material Alexei’s ever seen before. Almost like rope, but thicker. Sticky.

Freddie still hasn’t let Alexei go. Doesn’t let him go, even as they both shift around, trying to sit up. Alexei wants to tell him to fuck off, wants to ask him never to let go. He says nothing.

“I’m sorry,” Freddie says. As though this is somehow his fault. “I should have…”

“No,” Alexei says. He doesn’t mean for it to be gentle, but it is. “It’s not your fault.”

Freddie exhales, loud in the darkness. It’s shaky, as though he’s crying. “I couldn’t save you.”

“We’re not dead. Not yet.”

Alexei doesn’t know why he’s trying to comfort him. Maybe because it’s all he can offer in return for Freddie even trying.

“Not yet,” Freddie whispers.

He’s scared. Alexei’s scared, too, but he’s so used to being scared. Freddie is not.

Alexei’s wrist is going to bruise, if they make it out of here. He doesn’t think he cares, not really. For once it’s the mark of someone who tried to save him.

There’s a sudden light, and Alexei looks over. Freddie’s remembered his own power, it seems. There’s a flickering ball of fire floating above his free hand, just enough to illuminate them and the net.

He is crying. The firelight glances off the tears on his cheeks, though he makes no attempt to wipe them away. Doesn’t even acknowledge them.

Alexei doesn’t mean to. Perhaps it would be kinder to ignore them completely, but he doesn’t. He reaches out and wipes the tears away, as gentle as he can manage with his rough hands.

Freddie’s breath hitches, and he leans into the touch, eyes fluttering closed. Alexei wonders how long it’s been since anyone’s been kind to him.

“We’ll be fine,” he says. He doesn’t know how to be comforting, not anymore.

His hand is still on Freddie’s face. Freddie’s fingers are still wrapped around his wrist. Maybe it means something.

The net shakes, and Alexei pulls back. Now isn’t the right time, if there ever will be a right time.

“Hello?” Freddie calls, timid.

Alexei touches the net again. Rope, sticky. It shakes under his hands and Freddie shifts a little closer, raising the fire in his hand.

Alexei doesn’t think anyone’s out there. No one human, at least.

The net shakes. They’re trapped here, like flies in a web.

Perhaps they are flies.

Freddie whimpers quietly as the net shakes again. Alexei can’t shake the thought that perhaps this isn’t a net at all. A web, weaved by some sort of huge spider.

He hates spiders. His hands are shaking.

He wants to be wrong. He doesn’t think he’s ever wanted to be wrong quite so badly.

But he’s not. Of course. The net shakes and the light glints of eyes, clustered close together on an enormous face.

He must make some sort of noise, because Freddie turns to him, eyes wide.

“We’ll be fine,” he says, echoing what Alexei had said earlier.

They won’t be fine. Not caught in a spider’s web like this.

The spider hisses and shifts more of its massive bulk into the puddle of light.

Alexei hasn’t cried in so long, but he can feel tears pooling in the corner of his eyes.

“Get rid of the light,” he murmurs. He doesn’t want to see.

Freddie listens, and the light goes out. The spider is once again hidden in darkness.

There’s a hand on Alexei’s face a moment later. He flinches, and Freddie pulls away.

“It’s only me,” he says, soft and sweet. As though they’re not going to die.

“I know,” Alexei murmurs, and the hand is back, wiping away the tears he hadn’t realise had spilled over.

At least if they die like this he won’t die alone. They can die together.

“Do you trust me?” he whispers, finding Freddie’s face in the darkness.

“Yes,” Freddie tells him, instantaneous.

He’s so stupid. They’re both so stupid, and they’re both going to die.

Alexei leans in and brushes their lips together. It’s nothing, barely a kiss at all, but he hears Freddie’s breath hitch.

He tries to say something and Alexei silences him with another kiss, more of a kiss this time. He doesn’t think he loves Freddie, barely even trusts him, but perhaps he could have. If they had more time.

They don’t have more time. The net shakes and Alexei can feel as the spider pounces. Freddie chokes on a scream and goes limp against him.

Alexei closes his eyes and waits.

#whumptober2021 #no.4 #do you trust me #oc #fic #spiders #oc:alexei #oc:freddie #wip:8gp #they dont die dont worry theyre fine #they get rescued and then proceed not to talk about the kiss #this is their first kiss btw #which is super cool and fun #misunderstandings ensue #and hey tomorrow's prompt is misunderstanding maybe i could do something with that #writing #my writing #writeblr #also sorry this is so long sdjkhfk

[jaysworlds]

Whumptober 2021 Day Twenty-Seven

They’ve been walking too long, Alexei knows. His leg has been aching for hours now, and it isn’t good for him, to walk on it this long, but he wants to get them as far from the edge of the desert as possible. Maybe all the way to Earth, if possible, but he has no idea how far that is.

At least it’s harder for them to be tracked here, and they have time before more soldiers even get close.

But he doesn’t want to stop. They’re not running, so he can just … keep going.

Freddie’s been very quiet, which is a welcome relief. Alexei suspects he’s tired too, but he doesn’t have the energy to care about anyone but himself right now.

They’ll stop when they’ve gone just a little further.

Just a little further, and then just a little further, and then just a little further, until they’ve been walking for almost three cycles and they’re out of the foothills and into the mountains.

It gets a lot harder from there. Alexei’s leg is beyond aching and now it hurts, pain shooting through him with every step.

He doesn’t know why he’s still pushing on. He should really give up, sit down and take the weight off his leg for a while.

Freddie’s probably noticed he’s limping, but he doesn’t say anything. He’s still there, walking just behind Alexei and stumbling over his own feet every few minutes (because he’s tall, and moves with all the grace of a new-born fawn), but he hasn’t said anything in hours.

Var has been quiet too, but she still nudges her nose against Alexei’s fingers every few minutes, reminding him she’s there. He wonders if she’s noticed his limp too.

They can stop when it gets dark, he decides. It’ll be easier for them to hide, then, and they can rest for a few hours. There isn’t the need to hide from the sun here, in the mountains.

He doesn’t get that choice, though. One moment he’s fine and the next his leg seizes up and gives out under him.

It hurts when he hits the ground. It’s rocky, the unforgiving stone of the mountain biting into his knees and hands, and he bites down hard on his lip to stop himself making a noise.

Freddie touches his shoulder, gentle and concerned, and Alexei shoves him off, choking down the shame over not being able to stay on his feet. The last thing he needs is anyone touching him.

He manages to sit up, roll into a position that doesn’t hurt quite as much. His palms are smeared with blood, tiny stones caught in the scratches, and he wipes them on his trousers, ignoring the sting of pain.

His knees are probably bleeding too, but he doesn’t look.

There’s no way he’s going to be able to stand again, not for a while.

Freddie sits beside him, crossing his legs and putting his bag down in his lap. He’s staring, Alexei can feel his skin prickling as Freddie’s eyes sweep over him, but he doesn’t mention it. Just tries his best to ignore him.

The pain has faded back to an ache, now that he’s not walking on it anymore. It doesn’t really make him feel any better.

He wants to cry, really, and scream and throw something, but he doesn’t. Just sits quietly and doesn’t make eye-contact with Freddie.

Var chirps quietly and drops her head in his lap. She’s careful to avoid his leg, and he’s sure she knows it hurts, even if she doesn’t quite understand why.

He gives her a faint, tired smile, and strokes her head.

“Good girl,” he says, quiet, and scratches the soft scales behind her jaw.

He doesn’t speak to Freddie. He’s not even sure what he’d say if he did, maybe sorry for being so useless. And that you had to watch me kill that man.

Freddie’s just watching him, as though he thinks Alexei doesn’t know. He doesn’t look up, doesn’t catch Freddie’s eye just to watch him look away. Even if he thinks about it.

Because he barely knows Freddie but he’s predictable. Alexei can picture the exact expression he would make if he caught his eye right now.

He knows that, but he has no idea what Freddie thinks of him. Probably not very much, especially not after watching him kill someone.

He isn’t going to apologise, though. Not for that, and not for collapsing. Or anything else.

Var wriggles a little in his lap, and he realises he’s overthinking.

He just needs to get some sleep. Maybe he’ll feel better when he wakes.

#whumptober2021 #no.27 #collapse #oc #fic #alexei collapses a LOT because hes an idiot who doesnt know When To Stop #he does not stop feeling bad about it ever #despite the fact its so far from being his fault #oc:alexei #oc:freddie #oc:kai #otp:frelexei #wip:8gp #writing #my writing #writeblr

[jaysworlds]

Whumptober 2021 Day Twenty-Five

Freddie’s father is angry with him. He’s not entirely sure why, only that Freddie’s done something wrong without knowing it, and now he’s angry.

That seems to happen a lot. Freddie messes up all the time without even meaning to, and no one ever explains to him where he went wrong.

So here he is. Hiding beneath one of the tables in the library, the ones with the long, floor-length tablecloths. It’s a good hiding place, dark and peaceful, but still just about bright enough for him to make out the words of the book he’s taken with him.

He's sure his father is looking for him, and he knows he’ll be furious if he finds him, so he’s staying as still and silent as he possibly can.

He’s very good at sitting still and silent. He’s had to be good, because if he moves too much or talks too much or flaps his hands around when he gets excited then his father snaps at him. He’s even hit him, once or twice, and that got it into his head fast.

It's very quiet, outside of hit little hiding place, and he cautiously pokes his head out from under the table, just to see if anyone’s around.

No one. Good.

He retreats back under the table, making sure the cloth falls back into place naturally, and opens his book, curling up on the floor to read.

He spends a happy half-hour reading in peace before he hears his father calls his name and sits up, nearly banging his head on the bottom of the table. His father does not seem happy.

He calls for Freddie again, and Freddie has to sit on his hands to stop himself from fidgeting nervously. If he makes too much noise then his father will find him, and then he’ll be in so much trouble.

“Frederick!” he calls, the sound of his angry walk moving across the library, closer to the tables where Freddie is hiding, and he bites the inside of his cheek, nervous.

His father’s footsteps retreat, back towards the shelves, and he calls out for Freddie again. Freddie resists the urge to fidget, biting his lip instead.

The footsteps get closer, and closer, until they’re standing right by the tables. Freddie holds his breath, afraid even that will give him away.

There’s the rustle of fabric as his father lifts the tablecloth on one of the other tables, and Freddie squeezes his eyes closed. He feels as though his father can almost certainly hear the pounding of his heart.

“Frederick,” his father calls, again. Freddie’s lungs are beginning to burn with holding his breath.

His father swears, and then his footsteps retreat again. Freddie exhales, slow and careful, trying not to let his breath make too much noise.

“Have you seen my son?” his father’s voice says. Probably speaking to one of the several librarians.

“I’m sorry, sir,” the man says. “I haven’t seen him all day.”

Freddie recognises the man’s voice. He has seen Freddie today, because Freddie distinctly remembers waving to him as he came in. Which means either he forgot (which doesn’t seem likely, because none of the librarians ever seem to forget anything) or else he lied. To Freddie’s father.

That doesn’t seem like a smart thing to do (which, to be fair, nor is hiding, but Freddie is eight and the librarians are all very old and very smart), but Freddie can’t think of any other reason for him not saying that he’d seen Freddie come in.

Why he did it, Freddie has no idea, but it seems to pacify his father, or at least convince him Freddie isn’t here, because his footsteps head in the direction of the door, and Freddie hears it bang closed.

He’s gone.

Good.

Hopefully by the time Freddie finally feels brave enough to leave his hiding place he’ll have calmed down and won’t be so angry anymore. He gets very angry, but it doesn’t last very long. Hopefully by dinner (because Freddie’s already skipped lunch and he’s hungry) he’ll just snap at Freddie and then forget about it.

He doesn’t like getting screamed at, and he likes it even less when his father hits him. He doesn’t like when he’s snappy either, but it’s better than the alternatives.

For now, though, he’s safe, hidden under the table, and he flips though his book to find his place, settling down to read. He can probably finish this book before dinner, maybe start another one.

For now he has a little bit of peace.

#whumptober2021 #no.25 #hiding #oc #fic #child abuse #joseph kerrin's a+ parenting #(joseph joestar's bizarre adventure (in parenting)) #yeah i think im hilarious #(i hope that tag doesnt put this post in the jjba tag and if it does im so sorry jojo fans dksjfh) #anyway!! baby freddie!! #he is extremely little and i would like to hold him gently in my arms #and give him a little kiss upon the forehead #because he deserves it #oc:freddie #oc:joseph #wip:8gp #my writing #writing #writeblr

[jaysworlds]

Whumptober 2021 Day Twenty-Four

Freddie is sitting on a hill, morning dew soaking into his trousers, and watching the smoke rise from what’s left of the last town he and Lux had been through.

She’s laying beside him, eyes closed. She might be asleep, maybe just resting, but he doesn’t really care either way. They don’t have to move on just yet, no one left alive to come and chase them away.

Not that there would be much they could do even if they tried. This is only one of many towns that they’ve left a charred husk, and no one’s managed to stop them yet.

The smoke twists and curls up against the sky, blocking out the sun. Freddie can smell it, even at this distance, though perhaps it just clings to his clothes.

It isn’t unpleasant. He likes it, even. In a way it’s even comforting.

Lux doesn’t like it quite so much, wrinkles her nose at him and rolls her eyes, but she’s never complained past that, and he thinks she revels in the burning almost as much as he does.

He doesn’t know why they’re doing this, not really. It’s … revenge, in a way, for Alexei, and for Cas. Never mind these people had nothing to do with their deaths. They’re not getting the answers they want, and they don’t make empty threats.

It doesn’t help, really, with the grief and the emptiness. No amount of blood and smoke is going to fill the empty space in his heart where Alexei should be, and he doubts tears and death will ever replace Cas.

Still, sometimes it makes him feel a little better, if not for long. There’s a moment, when everything around him is fire and screaming and death, that he feels peace.

It’s gone in an instant, but he chases it. He wonders if Lux does too, or if its something else for her. If the death bolsters her power, if she plans, eventually, to take on the rest of the gods too.

He’d stand with her, if she did. Perhaps Trix was the one to end Alexei, to end Cas, but the others never once tried to stop him. They’ve always just pushed them further and further, all of them, until they couldn’t take it anymore.

Freddie would like to see the gods burn. He would like that very much.

He hasn’t asked, though. They don’t talk about it, don’t talk about much. Freddie’s grasp on sign is shaky at best, and even if they could speak freely he doesn’t think either of them would want to. They have curt conversations with the little sign he knows and sometimes pass notes, but that’s the extent of it. They don’t talk about their feelings.

Not that he even really has them, anymore. Just grief, and rage, and the freezing, all-consuming emptiness.

They don’t really talk about their plans, either. Just keep moving forwards, village after town after city left a smoking wreck.

He knows he should feel some sort of guilt over it. Most of the people who die in the blaze or to Lux’s power don’t deserve it, are just trying to live their lives. It isn’t their fault they don’t have the answers they’re looking for.

He doesn’t, though. He just watches the flames lick up towards the sky, consuming buildings and people, and he doesn’t feel anything at all.

Maybe it will come back to bite him, one day. Maybe it’ll hit him all at once and the weight of the guilt will kill him, as it would have before he lost Alexei, but for now he just can’t bring himself to even care.

Lux shifts in the grass beside him, propping herself up on her elbows and looking up at the smoke curling towards the sky.

For a while they sit there in silence, watching the smoke together, until she finally pulls herself into a proper sitting position, one that lets her sign.

“Time to move on.”

Freddie doesn’t know if she means it as a question. Just nods and pulls himself to his feet, offering her a hand.

She gives him a smile that doesn’t meet her eyes and lets him pull her to her feet.

Time to move on.

#whumptober 2021 #no.24 #revenge #oc #fic #burning #death #freddie does not deal with grief very well #anyway i thought he and lux deserved to have a bit of a villain arc #as a treat #because theyre both so cool and sexy #oc:freddie #oc:lux #wip:8gp #writing #my writing #writeblr

[jaysworlds]

Whumptober 2021 Day Twenty-Three

Freddie is so sick of running. His legs are burning and his lungs are burning and he feels as though if he has to go a moment longer his legs are going to give out under him and send him crashing onto the sand.

He’s never had to do this much exercise in his life, and now if he doesn’t keep running he’s going to die.

Well. Maybe not die, but his father will be furious, and Alexei, at least, will be killed.

Not that Freddie thinks he’d stop if Freddie fell, but still.

The point is he really doesn’t want to get caught, but he isn’t sure he can go any further.

It’s so hot, and it feels as though they’ve been running for hours, though the sun is still creeping down towards the horizon. It will be easier once it’s dark, at least, maybe a little cooler, though the glass of the road will take time to cool.

He’s not sure he can keep going that long, though.

He’s trying to tell himself that Alexei has it worse, with his leg, but that doesn’t stop his legs from aching just as much, and Alexei’s still somehow faster than him.

The only breaks they get are when Alexei deems Kai rested enough and they climb onto her back and continue their mad dash towards the edge of the desert.

They’ll be safer once they’re in the mountains, even in the foothills, but they’re so far, looming on the horizon, and Freddie doesn’t know if any of them are going to make it.

His mind has started playing scenarios on repeat, coming up with worse and worse consequences for what will happen if they’re caught. Alexei will be killed. Kai too, maybe. Freddie will never, ever get any freedom again.

He doesn’t have the breath to speak, and he doesn’t think Alexei does, either. Even when they’re sitting on Kai’s back they sit in silence, just trying to recover enough to run again.

Whoever’s chasing them won’t give up, though. Perhaps they know, as Freddie does, that it will much easier for them to hide in the mountains, and they’re determined to catch them before that.

They’re not making much progress. They’re faster when Freddie and Alexei forced to run, but Kai can move faster than the dragon they’re riding, so the distance between them doesn’t change much, overall.

But they can’t keep it up forever. Sooner or later one of them will collapse, or Kai won’t be able to carry them anymore, and then it will be over.

A small, rather hopeful part of his mind suggests that maybe they could get to the mountains before they collapse, but he isn’t sure that’s going to happen. The mountains are so far, and he’s so tired.

He just has to focus on moving his legs, try to ignore the ache.

In the end it doesn’t matter what he does. They’ve just about made it to one of the little stopping points along the road when Alexei’s leg gives out under him and suddenly he’s on the ground. He makes a soft noise, almost a sob, and abruptly cuts himself off.

Kai stops, of course, and Freddie has to stop as well. He wouldn’t leave them to get caught, not when he’s the only one who’s likely going to make it out of this alive. It would be selfish.

Alexei’s crying, tears dripping down his cheeks and being licked up by Kai, but he’s silent.

He tries to stand and fails. There’s no way he can run any further.

Freddie doesn’t think he could get up either. His legs feel like jelly, now that he’s not running anymore. He doubts they could hold him.

Alexei snaps something in his own tongue that sounds like a curse and rubs the back of his hand over his eyes. He seems to have almost forgotten about Freddie, or else he’s just ignoring him.

Freddie supposes this is the end of it, then. They can try to fight, perhaps, but he doubts that will go well for either of them. They’re both exhausted.

He wants to apologise, to say I’m sorry, I tried, but he doesn’t have the energy.

So he doesn’t. Just … sits. Sits and waits.

#whumptober2021 #no.23 #pursuit #oc #fic #dont worry! #alexei fucking murders a guy and freddie immediately falls in love #and then it works out fine #well kind of #well #not at all actually but like. in this instance its fine #oc:freddie #oc:alexei #wip:8gp #writing #my writing #writeblr

[jaysworlds]

Whumptober 2021 Day Eleven

Alexei knows he’s going to die here. He doesn’t see any outcomes which are favourable to him, but that’s alright. As long as Joseph comes down with him he doesn’t care.

Absently he hopes that the others will be alright, but he isn’t focused on that so much. It’s taking all the focus he has to pull the water up from beneath the ground, through the miles of rock.

There’s so much water, and his body is shaking with the effort of it. He’s not entirely sure how he’s still standing, but it doesn’t matter, not really. Either the effort is going to kill him or the drowning will, but he has to do this.

The water is still going up, hasn’t crashed down on them yet. No one’s moved, not yet. They’ve barely had time to react.

The water crashes down over them in a wave that’s so strong keeping it off them sends Alexei to his knees. They’re standing in a bubble of air, now, the water churning around them.

“Alexei,” Freddie breathes. Alexei doesn’t have the strength to reply.

This will destroy the city. A lot of people are about to die, and their deaths are on Alexei’s shoulders. He isn’t going to live long enough to care.

The water settles. They’re high enough that it leaves them a tiny patch of wet earth at the summit of the hill, their feet just barely out of the rivers flowing on either side of them.

“Alexei,” Freddie says again. He sounds as though he’s about to panic.

The guards finally break out of their trance, move towards them. Alexei snarls and flings his arm to the side, sending a wave out of the river and knocking them from the patch of dry land. They disappear into the churning water.

Alexei’s barely keeping himself awake. There’s still so much water beneath them, and he’s still pulling it out of the ground. Their patch of land will be gone before long.

Freddie needs to take the others and go.

Alexei grits his teeth, trying to gather the energy to speak. “Go.”

“I…” Freddie starts, and flinches as Alexei snarls at him.

“Go!”

He hadn’t meant to scare him. But he can’t let him die with the rest of them.

“None of you are going anywhere,” Joseph snarls. He must know Alexei won’t let him leave here alive, but maybe he doesn’t care.

“You’re going to die,” Alexei tells him. He’s still shaking, on his knees, but he holds the power here.

“So are you.”

“So be it.”

“No,” Freddie says. “No one’s going to die!”

He’s naive, if he really thinks that. Maybe he’s just hoping. Alexei doesn’t have the energy to speculate.

Joseph is looking around, and he must see Terri and Miles, still bound. “Your friends will.”

“No!” Alexei snarls, throwing out a hand and freezing ice up his legs. He’s not going to touch them.

Joseph’s eyes flash, furious. “I should have killed you a long time ago.”

“I’m going to kill you.”

Alexei forces himself to his feet. It’s difficult, and he nearly collapses again, but he stands.

Joseph has summoned a fireball and is melting himself free, and Alexei shoves Freddie into motion. He doesn’t have time to be nice.

Freddie seems to understand what he means, stumbling over to Terri and Miles. He keeps glancing over at Joseph, clearly distracted, and Alexei just prays he keeps it together long enough to get out of here.

Joseph’s managed to melt himself free, but he’s focused on Alexei, at least. The water is rising, lapping around their feet. It won’t be long until they’re under.

“What are you going to do?” he asks.

“Kill you,” Alexei says. It’s all he knows, really. Everything else is still up in the air, but that’s certain.

“You’ll die too.”

Alexei curls his lip. As though he cares about his own life.

Joseph must realise that, and Alexei imagines he sees a flicker of fear in his face.

He revels in it. Let Joseph fear him, for once.

If he had more time maybe he would drag it out. Force the man to beg for his life and then kill him anyway.

He doesn’t have more time. The water is still rising.

He looks past Joseph, meets Miles’ eye.

“Take them,” he says. “Go.”

Miles nods. He, at least, understands.

“Alexei,” Freddie says, eyes wide and afraid. “You can’t…”

“Go,” Alexei tells him. He doesn’t say I’ll be fine. They both know it’s a lie.

Joseph glances back at them for a moment. He doesn’t seem to care if they escape.

“Alexei,” Freddie pleads, and then: “father, please.”

“Go,” Joseph snarls. “You were always weak.”

Freddie flinches as though he’s been hit. Alexei wants to snarl don’t talk to him like that, but he simply doesn’t have the energy.

“Come on,” Miles says, and Joseph turns away from him.

The water is still rising, at Alexei’s waist by now. They’re not even going to have to fight.

“We’re both going to die here,” Joseph says, and Alexei shrugs.

“I get to kill you.”

He isn’t even going to be conscious when the water reaches his head. He can already feel himself slipping away, but he refuses to slip under before he’s watched Joseph die.

He takes a shaking step towards him, and then another. Joseph meets him in the middle, catches him when he stumbles.

For a moment he holds Alexei in his arms, almost gentle.

“Fuck you,” Alexei gasps out, and knocks them both off their feet, sending them under the waves.

It’s quiet, under the rushing river. Almost peaceful.

Alexei’s lungs fill with water almost immediately. He doesn’t have the energy to keep it out.

They’re going to die. Together.

It’s only a comfort when he finally blacks out.

#whumptober2021 #no.11 #drowning #oc #fic #death #(not alexei! alexei is fine! this one takes place just before day nine) #but joseph kicks it #as he goddamn should #what a dick <3 #oc:alexei #oc:freddie #oc:joseph #oc:terri #oc:miles #oc:kai #okay shes not mentioned but trust me shes there #otp:frelexei #wip:8gp #writing #my writing #writeblr