#oc:natalie

[aceouttatime]

“Think it’s about time we call it a night?”

“Five minutes. I am so close, Natalie.”

“Okay, Alexander. Okay.”

(aka the one where a certain pint-sized future lawyer overworks himself into the wee hours of the night. again)

Characters belong to the lovely @ratcatcher0325 !

#g/t #giant/tiny #digital art #not my oc #g/t community #sfw g/t #writing #fanart #pet universe #borrower #A Fraction Of Justice #oc:natalie #oc:alexander

[ratcatcher0325]

A Fraction of Justice (Chapter #29)

Chapter #29. Alexander tells his story. Natalie listens with rapt attention. Alexander does not mind this. Not one bit.

Previous: Chapter #28

Next: Chapter #30

Word Count: 7,629 Read Time: Approx. 59 mins

CW: adult language, angst, allusions to medical abuse

Tag list: @gatlily @patrocolus3 @beautifulunknowntrash @titan-god-420 @andraimeide @themarlo @cup-o-chai @lucentbliss @raccoontoaster @tolsizedlove @not-a-space-alien , @thegodmother007 , @honey-olive , @bittykimmy13 , @aceouttatime , @imvenusasaboy , @liminaldaze , @windshield-patent , @joxter-coded , @rosella35 , @narrans , @rubeau-art , @littlescaryinternetguy , @jae-from-discord , @kitn-underfoot , @secretly-small @writing-forever , @iinogongju , @tales-of-aestus-deactivated2023 , @itsgothgirlthyme , @make-me-giant , @reborrowing , @whatthisfemsheplikes , @soapysoap69

Btw, DM me if you wanna be added to the tag list!

___________________________________

A Fraction of Justice

Chapter #29: Flock Together

[Alexander’s POV]

My lips, teeth and tongue were abuzz with the vibration of my vocal cords as I gave voice to the images that terrorized my inner eye. A mist of sweat formed on my brow, as heat rose from my woozy stomach and thundering heart. It was as though I was watching myself speak, as if I were a spectator of my own testimonial. I could hear and feel myself talking, while also noticing, with intrigue, how somewhat removed and numb I was about the whole affair. Perhaps this was my brain’s way of protecting me from the sharp, psychological pain of the ordeal. I sat upright in the bed, locking eyes with those large golden orbs, as I felt a clenching in my throat and a stiffening in my spine. 

While sitting outside myself, everything seemed to move at a snail’s pace, as though the element of time had been dipped in amber honey. I observed, with quiet fascination, the dust motes swirling in the currents of air she created as she shifted side to side. I felt the cool, clutching texture of the crisp, white sheets against my fingertips. As blood coursed in my veins with each pump of my heart, I could count each exhale as my body fought valiantly to maintain an equilibrium of sorts. 

But the thing that stunned me the most, was the way she was looking at me. Not with condescension or hollow pity, but with a brow knit deeply and earnestly in gut-wrenching sorrow. From the moment I began to speak, her body had sunk with a gravity of guilt and horror, deeper into her chair, her eyes alight with… was that compassion? For me? This human, who I’d only very recently begun to tolerate, was genuinely listening to me. Suffice it to say, this was a brand new sensation. 

The sound of my own voice, ringing in my ears, returned to the forefront of my mind, as I continued, “… As it turns out, they were right to bicker over the proper dose of anesthetic, because they clearly administered far less than they should have…” The bracing of her body was impossible to ignore, her brow furrowed more deeply as she feared what I was going to say next. In fact, I swore I could hear a hitching of breath as she anticipated her own worst fears, “So… after I was put under, I found myself coming to on the operating table.” She stared down at me wide-eyed and shocked, “I overheard their voices… they said something about taking advantage of your concern over me to push for surgery, that it was a pursuit of profit not careful practice. They openly acknowledged that they were the ones to strain my leg enough to break. I heard them, Natalie. Ah, I wish I could remember the exact amount… 0.3 or 0.2 milliliters of… Buprenorphine? I believe? That’s most common for anything weighing less than 10 ounces, from the literature I’ve read—“ I looked up to see her pen come to a sudden halt. She looked at the paper, littered with chicken scratch in blue ink on brighter blue lines. After a moment, I cleared my throat, “…Do you need me to spell it for you?” 

She stopped looming over the page and met my gaze. Her expression puzzled me, “What?” I asked, already a bit annoyed. Was she offended I’d offered?

Seeing my confusion, she spoke softly, her head tilted slightly to my left, as her eyes lit up, “You are so fucking smart, Alexander.” Was she being sarcastic? 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I felt my defenses prick up as I wondered if she was teasing me. 

She immediately looked confused and taken aback, “I’m being serious. Don’t cross your arms and mean mug at me. I was trying to give you a compliment. You’re incredibly intelligent. I mean who the hell just knows how to spell bupreenophrene or whatever the hell just off the top of their head?” I opened my mouth to correct her obvious blunder but she held out a single index finger and quickly interrupted me, “Don’t be a wise ass. I know I didn’t say it right. It doesn’t matter. My point is, you impress me with that brain of yours… just don’t let it go to your head, alright?” I stayed quiet, relaxing my defensive posture. She sighed too, both of us coming down from the heat of the moment. She rested her chin atop her clenched fist and made eye contact, “I completely understand why you’re touchy. Pretty much every time you interact with a human, all they do is coo at you and condescend. I’m sorry. I know I’m guilty of that too. But, I don’t know what more I need to say to tell you I’m on your side in all this. I wanna help, not hurt you. Okay? Now, will you please continue?” 

She raised back up to sitting, clutching her pen between her fingers. I admit, I appreciated her apology and burgeoning self awareness. She really was starting to listen to me. I’d certainly categorize that as a win, and, sure, her complimenting my superior intellect didn’t hurt either. Adjusting myself slightly to get a better view of her, now so high above, I continued, “Well… As the anesthesia began to prematurely wear off, that’s when my nerve endings really came back and I could… I could feel my knee, cut open and… I flailed and shouted and they pinned me down, but not before he, the veterinarian, lodged the scalpel in my leg, somewhere inside the incision…” My throat tightened up as the pain washed through me, as well as the fear: the pure, animalistic, paralyzing fear of being utterly helpless beneath the razor sharp blade of my natural enemy. I kept seeing that font of blood spewing from my rent flesh. The way those massive, gloved fingers had ripped it out without so much as a glance down at me. The overwhelming pain, my dipping consciousness. A woman with kind eyes behind glasses, appearing above me, “…There was someone else there who actually displayed compassion. I believe… no, I’m certain she saved my life. I likely would have bled to death without her… She promised me she’d return me to you. She said that I had to go under again, but that I could trust she wouldn’t let anyone touch me until I’d been reunited with you. Though I had no other recourse, I chose to trust her. Evidently she delivered on her word…” I couldn’t help the fraction of a smile that raised the corner of my mouth, as I returned my gaze to the woman peering down at me. To have survived, to have been reunited with a human who, in her own flawed way, cared about me, seemed no small feat. I had the young woman with gentle, gloved hands and an empathetic, shimmering smile to thank for that, “…She wore wire frame glasses—“ 

“—With big hazel eyes? Her name was something with an L? Lilly? Laura?” Natalie was nodding rigorously in recognition, as she spoke, fighting to recall the woman’s name. I couldn’t help but catch her fever, gesturing widely. 

“—Yes! Lindsey! Her name was Lindsey! You met her? Did she hand me back to you?”  

Her brow furrowed, her eyes seeming wetter than before, and nodded, “She kept her word. She brought you directly to me. She placed you right into my hands. You were completely passed out… You… You looked so…” She bit her lip, as her eyes brimmed with crystalline tears, “I was so worried about you. I was pacing back and forth the whole time. They assured me surgery was the only option. I— I am so sorry, Alexander. This is all on me. I take full responsibility. I’m the one who took you there, I signed off on the operation. I let them hurt you. I was just so worried, when you got so sick, so fast, I-I panicked. I didn’t know what to do. All I wanted was to take care of you, but, instead, I did this to you. I gave you away to those monsters. This is all my fault. I am so, so deeply sorry, Alexander. I… I care about you more than I can say. You didn’t deserve any of this. I never meant to… Look, I completely understand if you can’t forgive me, just know, I feel so, so bad that it happened—“ Her voice cracked as her brow twinged, one tear rolling down the length of her cheek. Seconds later, the dam broke and she sobbed, burying her head in her hands. 

There, too, my resolve cracked. I didn’t feel so numb anymore, so distant, or removed. Seeing her in pain directly before me, reignited my emotions, and I found myself hurting because she was. Was I really pitying a human being? Was she really shedding tears for my sake? Did she actually care as much as she claimed about this miniature mockery of a man who sat before her?

She blamed herself, and I could understand why: she felt responsible, that she ‘should have known better’. How could she have known they were breaking federal mandates? Her shoulders trembled as she continued weeping. I could see she was spiraling,  “Natalie? Natalie, hey, it’s alright…” Her bloodshot eyes appeared behind a screen of dark, wavy hair, her brow pinched and sorrowful, “Give me your hand…” She just stared at me, wide-eyed and frozen, “Come on, I won’t bite… this time, I promise…” She broke into a smirk, that hint of a smile brightening her tear stained face, as she shook her head. 

“This is all backwards, you’re the one who was traumatized, why are you comforting me?” She wiped away the trails of moisture on her cheek with the back of her hand, before settling and offering me her right pointer finger.  

I clutched it with both hands, cradling the pad in my right hand and stroking the side and nail bed with my left, “I don’t blame you for what happened…” Her eyes immediately brimmed with tears again, as she blinked hard and turned away, “Natalie, Natalie look at me, please… It’s not your fault.” She shook her head, biting her lip, losing the battle to keep from crying, “You did the best you could. You take good care of me. No, don’t shake your head, you do. I wouldn’t be alive today if it weren’t for you. That’s true! It’s not your fault…” I squeezed the tip of her finger and that seemed to push her over the edge. She cried again, eyes glowing with flecks of green behind the waterfall of her tears. I admit, her weeping made me well up, myself. For the first time in my life, a human wept for me. Someone so much bigger than myself responded to my pain with tears in her eyes and a gentle coaxing voice. Never in my life did I think such a thing was possible. I could never fault her for her compassion. 

“May I touch you? Can I move your arm?” She choked out, between sobs. I nodded in the affirmative, heart thundering against my ribs. My agreement to her proposal made her cry harder for some reason I couldn’t understand. She flipped my hand over so it was now facing palm down against her upturned finger, the ridges of her fingertip now visible to me. She rubbed the back of my hand with her thumb, engulfing it, but still managed to be incredibly gentle. She moved my hand a little further away from my body, and flashed her eyes at me as she leaned down, slowly, slowly, and sank her lips into my outstretched fingers. The nerves in my hand were on fire, my heart was threatening to escape the walls of my ribcage. She’d only kissed me once before, and this brush of my skin to her lips was no less potent than the last. I did everything I could to keep my cool, I was done for if she caught on to just how much she was affecting me. As she pulled away, she stared down lovingly at my splayed fingers, rubbing with her thumb again, “I love these hands. You have such beautiful, little, delicate hands…” Normally I’d roll my eyes and groan at a comment like that, but her gaze told me, it was entirely in earnest. My heart fluttered in my chest and I felt a twisting sensation in my stomach. 

Finally, she stifled a laugh and gently placed my hand on my thigh. Releasing the grip of her finger and thumb, she apologized, “I’m sorry. Like I said, this is about me being there for you, not the other way around… But, thank you, for comforting me. You really can be a sweetheart when you want to be, can’t you?”

I felt like I suddenly sat up just a bit taller, “I’ve no clue what you’re talking about…” I crossed my arms over my chest in defiance, while grinning just enough to give away my joke, “I don’t mind helping a human while she throws a big fuss over nothing every now and again…” She rolled her eyes and smirked, as I continued, “But do you really want to know how you can make it up to me?” With rapt attention and wide eyes, she rested her chin on her fist before my bedside, her gaze now only an inch or so above my eye-line. She was so close, I could feel the warm gust of her breath. I focused on keeping my voice steady and resonant, “You can help me take them down.” I cocked an eyebrow, awaiting a response I was already fairly confident in. 

“You kidding?! I’ll do anything and everything I can, Alexander. I promise.” Her finger gently tapped my left knee as a small gesture of reassurance. I liked the warmth of her touch, how gentle it was. I was sorry when she pulled away. 

*************

His little face twisted, and his brow furrowed, as if he was struggling with how to proceed. I stayed very still, watching him battle himself, trying my best to be patient, even though I was dying to know just what he was thinking. Finally, those blazing blue eyes locked on mine, “You really mean that, Natalie?” Of course, I do, sweetheart, “You’re not just placating me? Or pacifying your own guilt? You would actually help me take legal action against them?” 

He was tense, uncertain, wary. Poor thing. I couldn’t blame him. How many times had his heart been broken by humans who’d promised to stand by him? I felt tears rush to the corners of my eyes again, as I spoke softly, returning his gaze, “Alexander, I want to help you. In any and every way possible. I believe in you. You are remarkable and I’m so so lucky to have you here with me. You wanna go for their throats? I’ll sharpen my nails. I told you I’d help you dig their graves myself, I meant that—“

“Why?” His sudden cut off stopped me in my tracks. 

I could only sputter in response,“W-what? What do you mean, ‘why’?” 

“Why… why are you so willing to help me? It’s not like I can compensate you financially, there’s nothing I can do to reciprocate the gesture. What is the benefit to you? I’m just supposed to believe in good faith that you’ll never grow tired of acting out of the goodness of your heart or whatever excuse you’re using to justify your motivations?” 

My heart sank. Did he really not understand how much I cared and what I saw in him? “Are you worried I have some sort of hidden agenda? That I’m offering to help or that I’m pretending to help for my own selfish gain? Is that what you’re getting at?” He crossed his arms over his chest, obscuring the lettering on his sweatshirt, and shrugged, staring back defiantly, waiting for me to answer my own question, “I know you’re used to people being selfish. I know you are constantly on edge, expecting some sort of passive aggression or hidden agenda. I see it in your eyes almost every time I try to touch you or pick you up, that flicker of doubt, that fear. You still don’t trust me. And that’s okay. You’ve had a lifetime of broken promises and a handful of days with a dumb, clumsy human who’s learning as she goes just how to do right by you. I know I infuriate and offend you almost every day, but… fuck… I’m trying, okay? You’re teaching me and I’m trying my best to learn. Look, I’m being straight with you. I want to help because I think you��re a person worth helping. I take care of you because I genuinely want to. I like having you in my life, Alexander. But please don’t think I’m trying to possess you or that I’m doing this to hold it over your head later. I know you’re scared. You try really hard to be brave, and you are, you’re the bravest person I’ve ever met. But I know you’re scared, too. Who wouldn’t be? I guess… what I’m trying to say is… if you’ll let me in, you don’t have to go through this frightened and alone.” 

He stared at the surface of the dresser with his piercing gaze, the inner gears of his mind turning rapidly. He seemed to be at an extraordinarily rare loss for words. I broke the ice with a soft voice, “May I ask you a question and will you promise to be honest with me?” His head snapped up to meet my gaze, apprehension and worry clouding his eyes. Yet, somehow, he nodded, slightly, agreeing to my terms, “You’re scared after all your fighting you’ll end up right back where you started, aren’t you? There’s this gnawing worry at the back of your mind that in spite of everything, you’re going to end up the plaything of a human who will never see you for what you’re capable of being. Is that about right?” 

He was taken aback, color drained from his face. He hadn’t expected me to read him cover to cover like that. Without looking up, he folded his hands in his lap and mumbled, his little voice even quieter than normal making it quite hard to hear, “I… suppose the thought had crossed my mind.” 

I tried not to be hurt by the realization that he still believed I’d treat him like that, and rested my chin on the polished wood ‘floor’ searching for his gaze, “Give me a chance to prove to you that I’m worthy of your trust, okay? When I told you I wanted to help you take those fuckers down, I meant it. Will you let me help you?” 

He looked lost in thought for a moment, staring straight ahead. After a few heartbeats, as I gazed at him at eye level, I watched him set his jaw and blink before meeting my eyes, “Okay, Ms. Marquez, you have yourself a deal.” Slowly, he offered his hand to shake. When the pad of my finger slid into his outstretched palm, dwarfing it, I couldn’t help the rush of blood to my cheeks. I hoped the light from behind was enough to mask my flustered face. I gently held his tiny hand between my finger and thumb while he shook it with the strength and confidence of a much bigger man. He was quick to wriggle free, though, which disappointed me; I would’ve liked to have held and marveled at his little hand all day. Still. I couldn’t help but notice a sudden rosy tint to his tiny cheeks, even as he pulled away. Suddenly, I realized he was speaking to me, his tone of voice immediately irritated, “… Natalie? Hello? Are you paying attention?” 

What had gotten into me? We’d shared a nice moment of solidarity and now I was caught staring, lost in thought. Upon hearing him, I snapped out of it, blinking hard, “Hmmm?” I’d been so caught up in his little features! Could I really be blamed? It wasn’t often he’d let me get this close. If we both stayed very still, I could almost make out his microscopic eyelashes, fringing those brilliant eyes with that fiercely intelligent spark behind them. His disheveled hair flopped in strands along his brow looking as stormy and malcontent as the sharp tone in his voice which still rang in my ears. What a strange little contradiction he was: delicate, yet bold, tiny, yet larger than life, vulnerable yet unafraid. He had every reason to be a trembling mess, reliving such horrible memories, but, instead, I could see this fire burning within him, this vindictive, righteous anger that moved him to great passion and, which, in this moment, he was taking out on me. 

“What’re you ogling at me for? Don’t tell me I just spilled my guts to you, only to have you stare at me all starry-eyed like I’m some adorable kitten. It’s rude to stare, Ms. Marquez, has no one ever taught you that?” My cheeks burned. I was being taken to task by a man I could put in my pocket, “...So?? Are you going to just sit there, blinking like an idiot or are we going to get to work?” 

****** 

Whatever had distracted her before seemed to be quickly quelled by my direct questioning. She sprang into action, setting up her phone, on a small metal stand in a horizontal position. This set the device at about the height of my lap, when she brought my desk chair and placed it directly in front. Once she’d finished setting everything up, she returned to where I sat and leaned down, “You ready?” I nodded, preparing myself to be picked up, but she continued, “I have one more little surprise for you. Close your eyes.”

“I’m not a child, Natalie, you can just show me—“ 

“Aw, c’mon sourpuss! Let me have this. I like surprising you with shit so maybe one day you’ll decide you actually like me.” She begged in a teasing way and I couldn’t help from chuckling. She clocked that immediately, “Ha ha, yeah I know. Fat chance. But c’mon, let me enjoy this. Please?” I rolled my eyes, sighed performatively and finally shut my windows to the world like she’d asked, “Okay, put out your hands…” I heard the grinding sound of wood, like a drawer opening, and then a rustle of fingers far too big for the dimensions of the comparatively tiny desk drawer as she fished about for whatever it was. Then, something landed in my hands and I was granted permission to open my eyes. 

While it was wrapped and sealed in obnoxious packaging, with print scaled for human eyes, what I found in my hands still made me smile in spite of myself. Placed inside my opened palms were two spiral notebooks and a pair of already sharpened pencils scaled to me. After two decades of scrounging through trash and scraps for paper and anything to write with, I now had legitimate means to record my thoughts for the very first time in my life. It meant far more to me than she could possibly understand. 

“What do you think? Do you like them?” I could see she was anxious for my approval. What a curious circumstance I found myself in, where a human was desperate for my opinion. It was far from a disagreeable position to be in. Still, all I could manage to respond with was a nod to keep from getting emotional. I turned my attention to freeing them from the packaging, the clear plastic being far thicker and more robust than I’d expected. Watching me struggle, she leaned in, fingertips looming ever closer, “Here, you want help?” 

I hugged the items closer to my chest, “I’m fine, thank you.” Her lips tightened slightly, clearly disappointed she wasn’t allowed to do it for me. I admit, I felt a smug satisfaction even as I struggled to muster the strength to rip it open, that she didn’t just snatch it from my grip and tear into it anyway. I’d trained this human well. She was learning. Suddenly, she gasped, making me jump and search her face for clues. 

“Aw shit!” 

“What is it now?” I admit, I was annoyed. All I wanted was to start my research and she was getting in the way of that, even if she had the best of intentions. In the wake of her outburst, I managed to (finally) open the packaging, gripping the contents inside the busted plastic pouch.  

“I just remembered, you’re left handed. Those spiral notebooks are gonna suck for you, aren’t they? I can’t believe I didn’t think of that! Here, I can return them…” 

She reached for them again. I pulled away. Was she really incapable of thinking this through? Without saying a word, I held one of the note books in my lap, my pencil pinched between my fingers. The glossy black paint on the wooden writing instrument rivaled the black and white marbling on the notebook covers. Gesturing broadly to make sure my movements were distinctly legible for her, I flipped the notebook once, along its horizontal axis so that the back of the book was now facing skyward and then rotated it 180 degrees clockwise, so that the spiral binding was now clutched in my right hand. Without missing a beat I opened the book to its very first (technically, last) page, and scribbled “DON'T RETURN” as large as I could across the blue lined paper and then held it up for her. 

“Okay, now I feel like a fucking dumbass…” she held her face in her hand, sighing and shaking her head in a moment of self deprecation. 

“Well, I wasn’t going to be the one to say it out loud… but now that you mention it…” I smirked up at her, not at all dissatisfied with my own joke. She immediately began to laugh, groaning in mock disdain. 

“Come here…” her fingers slid around and beneath me and I suddenly found myself lifted high in the air, seated amongst a web of fingers. My heart leapt to my throat as she held me before her eyes, splayed out in her hand. I was feeling rather small, now, plucked up so easily and held aloft before those familiar, wide eyes,  “What’s your problem, huh? Why are you so mean? I do all these nice things to help you and now you’re calling me a dumbass?” She dug a fingertip, teasingly, into my chest, I squirmed against her touch, batting her away.

“You called yourself one, I said no such thing!” I lifted up my hands in a gesture to show I took no responsibility. She rolled her eyes, and stood with me cradled in her hand, before crossing the room to stand before her desk. I’m so close to finally beginning my life’s work anew. I was a mere few feet away…. If she could just put me down… 

“I mean for real, I have a whole ass undergrad degree and am about to graduate from law school… and you just hung me out to dry! Are you really that much smarter than me or am I just way stupider than I thought?”

“Yes, yes… Now, please, let’s get started, shall we?” I attempted my best polite smile, clapping my hands together and sitting up inside her palm, trying to coax her into lowering me into my chair. She didn’t budge an inch. 

“What do you mean, ‘Yes’? You don’t really think I’m stupid do you? I’ll have you know I graduated fourth in my class in undergrad, little sir! Besides, there are different kinds of intelligences. You just happen to be particularly book smart—“ 

“—Book smart, yes, got it! Speaking of that, I think the best way to keep getting smarter is to conduct research. Expand my horizons, all that. So with that in mind—“ 

“Besides, I’m like, ninety percent certain two of the people ahead of me my senior year were cheating to get perfect grades…” she kept talking, “I’m still convinced I coulda gone head to head with Jack Lahey for salutatorian!” And talking, “But not Lindsay Ellyach, she was like, inhumanly smart— I’d never be able to out do her! Not even now!! She was the valedictorian…” With no sign of letting up, she carried on, full steam ahead, “…It’d be fun to pit you against her and see if you could give her a run for her money… she was actually always really nice though, which honestly made it even more annoying—“   

“Natalie!!” I was too exasperated, I couldn’t help myself. 

“Oh. Oh my god. I’m talking too much aren’t I? Poor thing, you just want to get your nerd on and start working on this and here I am keeping you. I’m sorry. Here…” 

True to her word she gently lowered me down into my swivel chair. Handing me back the notebook and pencil that had slid into the center of her palm once I’d begun moving about. I gripped these items with firm yet clammy hands. This was it! Here I was about to do something I never thought possible: openly researching unfair practices against my kind, directly in front of, and with the full support of a human being. 

“Alexander?” Her voice, timid and apologetic, rang from high above my left shoulder. That is, until she adjusted herself to rest her head down, close to where I was, “Are you mad at me?” She stared at me with bright, pleading eyes, before her hand approached and she flicked my hair from my eyes with the brush of her thumb. 

I snarled and wrenched away, “I’m too busy to be mad at you. Please, I just want to work on this in peace.” I had no patience to be the steward of a needy human’s emotions right now. 

She was quick to respect my wishes, turning her attention to her own massive screen, simply adding, she was “happy to help” in any way she could. When I glanced over my shoulder, I could see she had her coursework up.

Finally, a moment of blessed, uninterrupted silence for me to get to work! I was so giddy I could’ve giggled like a little kid. Cracking my knuckles, I flipped open my brand new, beautiful notebook, with its perfectly proportionate blue lined paper, to the next fresh page. I proceeded to format my page for notes in the same way I’d seen executed hundreds, if not thousands of times, by a man with a watery blue, cataract-filled gaze, and short temper.  

No time to think of him now, I had justice to pursue and legal precedents on my side. I may as well have measured nine feet tall today, what with all the probability of victory I already possessed. I traced my lower lip with a pointer finger as I leaned in to operate the phone’s internet browser. 

As soon as my fingertips pressed into the colorful glass display, Natalie let out a forlorn sigh. As I craned my neck, I watched as she tucked a strand of curls behind her ear, her expression twisted into a pout. 

If it had been any other human, I probably would’ve jeered and berated her for getting so upset over such a minor thing. But for some reason, when it came to Natalie, I suddenly had a heavy conscience. I didn’t like seeing her upset. What was wrong with me? I was getting soft. 

“Natalie?” She suddenly seemed quite absorbed in her work, as if she couldn’t be bothered with me. Ah, so that’s how it feels. My face flushed hot. I tried again, leaning to tug on her sleeve right at the bend in her elbow, which rested within arm’s reach, “Natalie…” 

“What?” She was cold, annoyed. A pang of guilt washed through me. All of a sudden, I felt uncharacteristically small and timid, staring up at this woman who towered over me, wanting to repair the damage I’d done. 

“I can see I’ve hurt your feelings…” an olive branch. 

Would she take it? 

“No. I’m good. Just trying to get this done. Do you need something?” Well, that was a resounding no then. So much for trying to be vulnerable. If she wanted to play games, fine, then, it was my turn.

“Why are you being so childishly passive aggressive? You’re very clearly upset, you’re actively pouting and you threw a fit just moments ago. I’m apologizing. Isn’t that what you wanted?” Why did humans always have to change the rules to fit their narrative? It made no sense to me. What did she want me to do? 

She was quick to raise a brow at me before she retorted, “I’m being childish?! Really? That’s funny, because last I checked that wasn’t even an apology. You just made a statement. Look, I’m trying to keep my cool here, but you don’t get to shrug someone off and hurt their feelings and then bark back at them about their own emotional state and get mad when that doesn’t fix the problem. Try a real apology next time and maybe you’ll get the response you were looking for.” 

With that, she turned her attention back to her work, and gave me the iciest of cold shoulders. I may as well have been invisible for all she cared to acknowledge me. My stomach dropped. 

She was right. 

As much as I hated to admit it, she was absolutely right. 

I took a deep breath and then sprung to my feet (or foot, rather), careful to keep my injured leg from bearing any weight. She jumped, making a fuss the second I stood up, “Woah! What do you think you’re doing? You’re not supposed to put any pressure—“ I was already quite off balance, trying to keep one foot from touching the floor. Even with my arms outstretched, and tensing all the necessary muscles to stay upright, the moment I craned my neck to look directly up at her, and as I opened my mouth and the words ‘I’m sorry’ began to form on my lips, I knew I was a goner. I started to stumble, my arms grasping at air as my good leg gave way beneath me. I braced for impact with the hard surface of the desk.  Yet, within the next fraction of a second, I found myself perfectly upright, the wind knocked out of me. 

I blinked hard, trying to make sense of what had just happened. In the breadth of a heartbeat, she’d reached for me, catching me from my fall and suspending me upright, with a little gentle pressure. Her thumb was now pressed against my chest, her nail landing just beneath my left arm. Her index finger wrapped around my lumbar curve and gently rested against my bent elbow. As I collided into the barrier she provided with her hand, I found myself gasping for air and instinctively gripping onto her thumb with both hands. She kept me steady as I found my footing, and craned my neck to meet her eyes. She looked down at me in shock and concern, “What was all that for? You scared the shit out of me…” 

“I was trying to apologize. Now I think we can both see how much that disagrees with me in practice…” She broke into a brilliant smile and peered down at me, nodding her head in agreement as she shrugged and giggled. I’d be lying if I didn't admit I enjoyed the sound of her laugh. I suddenly felt quite warm, surrounded by her fingertips. I could even feel her heartbeat beneath the surface of her skin. 

My heart leapt to my throat, as I felt her eyes continue to gaze down at me. She’d stopped her bemused chuckling, instead staring at me in a way that made me squirm beneath her. Slowly, slowly, she guided her pointer finger beneath my left arm, to keep me upright, and very gently, she passed the pad of her thumb across my chest in a rhythmic back and forth motion. I froze. All her attention was on me, balanced carefully inside the hollow of her hand. What was she doing? Could she feel how hard my heart was hammering against my sternum? 

Her eyes flickered in concern, as the motion of her thumb ceased, in the direct center of my sternum, “Your little chest is pounding away like crazy—” Well, that answers that. My face flushed bright red, as she suddenly sunk lower, so that her chin was resting on the crook of her right elbow, and the tip of her nose was a mere few inches from where I stood, propped up between her fingers. She was so close, I could see a silhouette of myself reflected in the iris of her eye. She’d returned to stroking me, I stiffened, barely able to keep my composure as she hit me with her next question, her voice soft, low and intimate, “Is this okay?” 

It took every ounce of willpower I had left in me to keep from trembling. She was so close, so warm, I could smell her fragrant hair, feel the heat of her hand, all while I took in those bright, brilliant eyes, awaiting my answer. I was completely overwhelmed, surrounded by her on all sides. I couldn’t breathe. I needed air. I couldn’t breathe. I needed out. 

“No! No it’s not!” I finally choked out, “You’re too close. Please, just put me down.” 

Her face fell. It wasn’t the answer she’d been hoping for. She blinked once, twice, and then obediently did as she was asked, quietly whispering “Sorry” as she prepared to let me go. Too bad, she has no right to fluster me like that. I told myself that over and over as she gently sat me down in my chair. 

We were right back where we started. A tension palpable in the air between us. Even as I got exactly what I asked for, I felt an ache where the heat of gentle fingers had just been. My heart continued to pound away against my breast as I wrestled with the confusing thing that had just taken place. 

She didn’t say another word and I followed suit, much too embarrassed and shaken to fill in the gaps between our clicking, swiping and staring at screens with any polite conversation. I sank in my chair. What was happening to me here? All I’d ever wanted was the chance to research this compelling case in harmonious, blessed silence. But now that I had my greatest desire, I suddenly felt hollow inside. It wasn’t possible that my heart had blossomed toward this human beside me. 

Wasn’t it? 

Just then, as I had paused in my notes, to sneak a glance up at her, I found myself catching her eye, as she appeared to be doing the same thing, in reverse. Blushing hard, I tore my gaze away, staring flatly at the screen before me. 

Try as I may to read and reread the lines of black text on white pixels, one thought kept ricocheting through my skull: what did she make of all this? I couldn’t bring myself to ask, so I imagined I’d never know. 

I tried to ignore these feelings, leaning into the article I’d found on veterinary law in the state of Massachusetts, even despite my elevated blood pressure. That is, until the sound of her clearing her throat to get my attention became impossible to ignore. 

Reluctantly, I turned over my shoulder to face her, admittedly a little anxious to see just what I’d find there. When I turned, I was confronted with her finger and thumb directly before me and pinched between them was a delicate paper flower, a daisy, I’d made for her seemingly forever ago. Then, her voice, soft and strained rang in my ears, “I’m sorry I can’t ever seem to get this right… I’m just a big dumb human that upsets you. I’m sorry for that.”

And that right there was a proper, genuine apology, unlike the half baked defensive excuse I’d thrown at her earlier. Guilt creeped in as I realized what I’d done. Sighing, I made up my mind, and as I leaned over and clutched the fake flower from her grip, I formulated my response, “Will you do me a favor?”

“Of course, anything.” She meant that in earnest. 

“Will you pick me up and hold me directly before you?” My past self would have a hard time believing this series of events to be true, and yet, here I was, requesting to be handled by a human. She hesitated for a moment, watching me closely for signs of regret or discomfort, before pinching me between her thumb and forefinger, and placing me inside her waiting palm. She then lifted me up to her face, her eyes confused and cautious, “Closer…” She inched me forward, “Still closer…” her brow furrowed, I was already less than half an inch from the bridge of her nose, “Almost there…” Now she held me so close I was hovering over her face, far too near for her eyes to be able to focus on me anymore.  My chest practically brushed against her eyelashes as I reached up and over, planting the flower I’d made for her in the nest of waves and curls that was her hair. With that, I gently patted her on the forehead and whispered, “Okay, all done.” 

She pulled her hand back to a reasonable distance again, staring at me with delighted eyes, “Did you just…?”

“Natalie, I owe you an apology. I’m not particularly fond of them, so don’t get used to it…” I sat up a bit straighter with my arms crossed, as she broke into a knowing smile, “But the way I see it… we’re a team now, unlikely and mismatched as that is. And I… I could have done better by my partner and I’m sorry. I was dismissive and I rejected your simple kindnesses. As you can clearly see, those sorts of things don’t come naturally to me, so I can’t promise an entirely different response in the future. But what I can say is I’ll endeavor to see things from your perspective once in a while. And… maybe on a very special occasion, I’ll allow you to touch me gently again…” my throat tightened and color rose in my cheeks again at the mere mention. 

By the time I’d finished speaking, she’d broken into a wide grin, “You’re such a little liar! I knew you liked it, that’s why you were all squirmy and red faced. I’m gonna get you to admit you like me… someday, it’s gonna happen. I fluster you, don’t I? Like right now… you’re all kinds of squirmy. Look at you, you can’t even look me in the eye!” 

“Natalie! Don’t make me regret this the second I say it! I am not flustered!” 

“Suuure you’re not. Of course not, Little Nightmare. No flushed face and heaving chest here! Nope! Totally calm and collected…” 

“Natalie!!!” 

“You’re too easy to tease! It’s not my fault!” 

“I’m never apologizing to you again if this is how you’re going to weaponize my vulnerability against me!” 

“Oh woe is Alexander! Look how he’s being so horribly mistreated!” She made a big fuss, rolling her eyes and gesturing with her free hand. I admit it made me smile, for just a fraction of a second, but it was enough for her to pick up on, “I saw that! The little robot does have a sense of humor. How delightful!” 

“I despise you and everything you stand for.” 

“Yup! So sweet and funny! Just an absolute sweetheart of a little man. Nothing about this is alarming at all. I should definitely not plan on sleeping with one eye open tonight.” She cupped her chin in her free hand, biting her lip as she smiled at me, “But seriously though, thank you, Little Nightmare. I can see you’re trying, and that’s all I can ask for. I promise not to push your boundaries… too much. But I’m sorry if I can be overwhelming at times. Are we okay?”

I sucked in a sharp breath, before nodding, “In spite of my better judgment, I suppose I’ll allow for forgiveness this one time. Don’t get used to it, I’ve got my eye on you, Miss Marquez.” I raised my brows and flashed her an expectant look. 

“Alright! The dynamic duo is back!! Wonder Twin powers… Activate!!” She held out a knuckle of her clenched fist, presumably so I would bump her back with my own. 

“No. Never. Don’t even try.”

“Eh, it was worth a shot… back to it, then?” She gently caressed my knee with her thumb as she asked. I nodded curtly. 

Soon, I found myself lowered back down to the level of her elbow, still close enough to feel the warmth radiating off of her. I did my best to clear my mind and focus on my work, but, I have to admit, any time she shifted in her seat,or hummed (badly) to herself, I couldn’t help but get a bit distracted. 

Maybe a life like this wasn’t so bad. Maybe, just for now, I could learn to like this, Wonder Twin Powers and all. 

#Whew! This was a rollercoaster ride! #Will they? Won't they? Will Alexander cry or scream? #Porque no los dos? #They are both such a mess #g/t #giant/tiny #g/t community #g/t writing #g/t related #g/t angst #size difference #a fraction of justice #g/t fluff #oc:alexander #oc:natalie

[art-zupa]

they are communicating

#playlist thumbnails for my beloveds #my art #artists on tumblr #my soup #digital art #my oc #my ocs #oc:sangook #oc:natalie #nightmare state

[tuvvin]

i love drawing nat in outfits i really ought to do that more!

#oc:natalie

[inkymelon]

Natalie as Goth!

#oc stuff #oc:natalie #oc ask meme #vanilla-frosted

[ratcatcher0325]

A Fraction of Justice (Chapter #23)

Alright, here we go with another angsty mess nightmare hospital chapter. 

So grateful to @not-a-space-alien, @kitn-underfoot, and @thegodmother007 for beta reading and giving me some awesome feedback!  

Chapter #23. Will our hero make it out of surgery and finally be done with this mess?

Previous: Chapter #22

Next: Chapter #24

Word Count: 8,904 Read Time: Approx. 60 mins

CW: adult language, extreme angst, dehumanization, infantilization, fearplay, injury, blood, surgery

Tag list: @gatlily @grbene @patrocolus3 @beautifulunknowntrash @titan-god-420 @andraimeide @themarlo @cup-o-chai @lucentbliss @raccoontoaster @tolsizedlove @not-a-space-alien , @thegodmother007, @honey-olive, @bittykimmy13 ,@aceouttatime, @imvenusasaboy, @liminaldaze, @windshield-patent, @joxter-coded, @rosella35, @narrans, @rubeau-art, @littlescaryinternetguy, @jae-from-discord, @kitn-underfoot, @secretly-small, @writing-forever, @iinogongju, @tales-of-aestus

Btw, DM me if you wanna be added to the tag list!

_____________________

A Fraction of Justice

Chapter #21: Malpractices

[Natalie’s POV]

My leg bounced feverishly up and down as I sat up, board straight, teetering on the edge of the hard, plastic chair. It’d been 47…. No, make that 48 minutes since he’d been taken away. I couldn’t help but worry. Who could blame me? It was the first time since I’d found him that we’d been apart and I didn’t know he was somewhere safe and sound. 

I pictured him making fun of me for stressing so much, like some overly protective mother hen. He had no problem standing up for himself, I knew that. But then, the image of his little face when he was plucked out of my hands came to mind: his clear, blue irises wide and glistening with fear. He was strong, devilishly smart and extraordinarily brave, but he was still so very, very small, and, as much as I knew he’d resent the accusation, he was, also, fragile. I pictured just how tiny his hand was, fingers spread as he squeezed the tip of my pinky, barely able to grip onto the whole of it. Alexander could hiss and spit all he wanted, but the tech that had taken him away could still pin him down with just one finger. 

But it was fine, right? They can’t run and operate a business with neglect and not be called out for it, right?? Was he all worked up for nothing? Was I? I mean, I couldn’t blame the little man…. Being handed off to strangers who were twenty times bigger, a hundred times stronger and not likely to explain just what they were going to do to him, would terrify anyone. They were just running tests though, right? I imagined they’d need to take his vitals and possibly x-ray his knee to see how damaged it was.

But it wasn’t that, alone, that had made him tremble from head to toe and cling to the fabric of my shirt…. He seemed convinced that they might hurt him, mess up his treatment, kill him. He seemed keenly aware that it’d happened before, which utterly broke my heart. 

For the past half hour, I’d furiously scrolled through every review site I could find, double and triple checking for any sign that something could be amiss. I found nothing. Just run-of-the-mill posts about treating a cat’s ear infection or resetting a parrot’s broken wing. Still, I couldn’t seem to drop this chilling sense of dread. It didn’t escape my notice that there was practically nothing in-depth about treating little people like Alexander in any of the reviews, just mostly animals. I chewed on the beds of my nails absentmindedly as I fought to stay calm. 

 My knee continued to bounce, the rubber heel of my shoe keeping time on the discolored linoleum tile. Why did I have this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach? It wasn’t just because the environment around me was cheap and dilapidated…. Was it because the doctor had been dismissive of him in his initial exams? The thing was, he was just right there, beyond that metal door. I could rush in there and pluck him up before they could call security. Maybe? I didn’t know. I had no idea what kind of labyrinth of hallways and doors and operating rooms laid beyond the metal threshold before me. 

The thought of him being afraid or in pain in any way, was unbearable to me. What if he needed me and I wasn’t there? What if he was trembling head to toe like he had just a little less than an hour ago, whimpering in my cupped hand? What if he was scared and all alone, right now, and all I was doing was just sitting here… waiting…. Had I let him down? Had I put him in danger by trying to get him help? 

Or was I just having some sort of savior complex because I felt this intense need to control the world around Alexander?

I knew I had the best of intentions, but still…. I felt this need to know exactly where and how he was at all times. I shuddered remembering when I’d plopped him down in a box and expected him to stay there all afternoon, or when I’d trapped him inside my bedside table drawer, all alone, because he’d hurt my feelings. Was this another instance of me being overly controlling? Was I underestimating him, even now? To me, he was such a breakable little thing, easily bruised by this world that was much too big for him. 

The way he’d clung to my fingers, the fabric of my shirt…. I’d never seen him so vulnerable and afraid before. I’d never seen him look so small before. I jumped to my feet, my heart in my throat. He was just beyond that door. I took a few steps forward, watching with fixated curiosity as the wavy and warped reflection of my figure mocked me in the metal surface like some kind of twisted fun house mirror.  What if I just checked on him? For a second? They wouldn’t kick us out for that would they? The tips of my fingers journeyed through the ever-shrinking gap between my body and the boundary separating him and me. In the next beat of my heart and bat of my eyelashes, the whorls of my fingertips pressed into cool metal. Just for a second. I just want to see his little eyes and know he’s okay. 

Before I could apply any pressure, the door pushed back. I had no time to react before the doctor and a tech, the same girl in the purple scrubs that had carried him off, burst through the threshold. All three of us jumped, startled by what we unexpectedly found right in front of us. 

The doctor had been the one to shove the door open, and now here we stood toe to toe. Had I noticed before how much taller he was than me? He was the first to wrestle his words into speech after the shock, “E-excuse me, Ms. Marquez, what do you think you’re doing?” We stood uncomfortably close, neither giving ground.

“Where is he?” My voice wavered in such a way that exposed how nervous I really was. I clenched my jaw, trying to pull it together.  

“There’s nothing to worry about ma’am…. Please, have a seat…” The words, meant to be reassuring, came from a voice I hadn’t heard very much before: crisp, coaxing, female. On my left, the vet tech was halfway through the door which she propped open with an elbow. I searched her bare hands, feverishly, for a shock of blonde bangs and blue eyes. They were empty. I panicked. 

 “Wait… w-where is he? Why’s he still back there? Is he okay? Is he all alone? Is he scared? I need to know he’s okay—“ 

 “Of course! Of course, you’re concerned. Don’t worry, he’s perfectly safe and comfortable. If you’ll just take a seat, Doctor Greene will be more than happy to answer any questions you might have….” Her smile was blindingly bright, her eyes shimmering and earnest. The doctor nodded along with her as she spoke, raising his brows expectantly in my direction, when she was finished. I froze. Was I being a complete idiot right now? Was Alexander perfectly okay and I was looking insane for wringing my hands over him? But then why wasn’t he back in my arms safe and sound? What did they need to tell me? I just wanted to see him. Before I could process, those disappointingly empty hands with their chipped, dark polish, were lightly resting on my shoulders, guiding me away from the door and back where I began, seating me in that hard plastic chair. 

 I stammered, “W-what’s wrong with him? Why won’t you bring him out here? All he needed was medicine for the infection, right?” As I hurled my volley of questions, the doctor, who I just now noticed had a file tucked under his arm and no longer sported his white coat, sat down and wheeled over to the examination counter, placing the file flat on its surface and resting his elbows so that his poised hands came to rest below his chin. As he did this, the tech settled in the back corner of the room, leaning against a cabinet in the corner halfway in front of the door that lead to Alexander. My pulse pounded away in my skull, that tan folder with its unknown contents burned a hole in my periphery as I stared into the veterinarian’s bespectacled eyes. 

 He cleared his throat as I gripped the rough underside edge of my seat, “First off, I want to apologize for the lengthier than usual wait time on our initial examinations. It’s nothing at all to worry about. I promise, your companion is in very attentive and focused hands, here. Isn’t that right, Nina?” The tech nodded in agreement, smiling again. Why did his tone shift ever so slightly when he included her in the narrative? “Now, to the matter at hand. Unfortunately, the damage is, well, worse than we thought…” my stomach dropped at those words. As he continued, he reached for the file between us, “If we take a look at these… Nina, if you will?” 

 He flipped the file open to reveal a paper splotched with deep, inky blacks and ghostly, silvery whites. I couldn’t tell what I was looking at. Nina stepped forward at his command, clutching the paper, she turned from me and flipped on the light box mounted on the wall to my left. 

She spoke as she worked, “Your little friend is awfully cute. I can tell he’s a little spitfire, though, too! But, hey, don’t worry, he just needed some gentle coaxing and he was the perfect little patient!” Why did my hackles raise at that? I had a hard time believing her. It wasn’t easy to get Alexander to do anything he didn’t want to. Was he really just scared enough to be docile for once in his life? That didn’t seem like the fiery little man I knew at all. 

 Before I could follow up with more questions, the room was cast into darkness, as she flipped off the lights and clipped up the paper on the illuminated display. Suddenly, the smoky shapes came in to clear focus in the backlight. It was an X-ray. It was his x-ray. I was looking at Alexander’s skeleton. My blood pumped faster in my veins, as my brow furrowed and I felt a tightness in the back of my throat. I couldn’t help but clamor to my feet to get a closer look. Because he was so small, he fit head to toe inside the image, the only part of him that was cut off was his left shoulder and leg on the right side of the display. That was him, his tiny little skeleton, blown up larger than life on a pitch black background. This image of him was at least four of five times larger than the real thing. Even then, how fragile those little bones looked! None of them were thicker than two fingers pressed together. My eyes went immediately to his right knee joint. I was no medical professional, but I didn’t need to be to see the sharp, black line that cut across his bone just above the knee. A complete break, not just a fracture. The blurry white mess that was his actual knee seemed to show how damaged it was. Poor little Alexander had been hobbling around on a broken leg? 

 With a grunt, the doctor rose from his seat and shuffled over to the display, “As you can see, the joint is severely damaged and there appears to be a significant break on the very base of the femur. Have you been allowing him to exercise? Put any unnecessary strain on it?” 

 “N-no. Not that I know of. I’ve been trying really hard to keep him still and off his feet as much as possible…” But it was anyone’s guess what he’d endured before I found him. He wouldn’t tell me anything. 

 “It appears the damage has been exacerbated by too much weight on the wound… wear and tear from strenuous over-use…” for some reason, he darted a glance at the black-haired tech, before clearing his throat, “In any case…. Nina, turn on the light, if you want it to heal right, he’ll need surgery to reset the bone and to flush out the infection, which has spread to a critical extent…” the room was flooded with blinding fluorescent light, once more, making me wince as my eyes fought to adjust and I struggled to understand him. 

 My world stopped as what he was saying finally hit me like a ton of bricks. I managed to stutter out just one word, “S-surgery??” I parroted it back like an idiot. The thought of his tiny little body being operated on by their comparatively massive hands sent shivers down my spine. 

 “Yes.” His response was simple and blunt, I stood, rooted to the spot, in shock, “Please sit.” As he beckoned for me to be seated he fetched the X-ray from its no longer illuminated display box and sat down, pulling a sharpie pen from the breast pocket of his scrubs, “So, we’d make an incision here, just above the break—“ he began marking the ghostly image of Alexander’s leg with the pitch black ink. I interrupted.

 “W-wait, wait, wait. Surgery? Are you sure there’s no alternatives? He can’t just, like, I don’t know, have a stint or something?” 

 The doctor’s exhale sounded almost amused as he removed his glasses to polish them on the bottom hem of his scrubs. “My understanding is you have no insurance. Is that correct?” 

 “…. Well, y-yes….”

 “I want to be completely honest with you. The fact of the matter is, this particular procedure will be costly without insurance. And, not only that, performing these kinds of operations on such small animals carries with it a significant risk—“

 “—He’s not an animal…He’s a person, just like you or me… he’s just littler, that’s all….”

 “O-of course! Of course he is! He seems very smart, too!” Nina was smiling brilliantly again. I clenched my teeth. I was beginning to dislike her.

 “It is my professional opinion that an operation will be necessary to save Alexander’s life. Now, I understand you may be hesitant, due to the upfront cost–”

 I snapped back, a newfound edge in my voice, “I don’t give a fuck what it costs, I just want him to be okay. Is that a clear enough answer for you? And, anyway, he should have some say in this. It’s his body, after all. Have you told him yet? Bring him here, and I’ll make a decision with him.”

 Another exchange of charged glances, and then a blunt response from the doctor, “Unfortunately we can’t do that.” 

 My heart was pounding faster and the room suddenly felt hot, I scowled and spoke through clenched teeth, on the razor’s edge of holding it together, “What do you mean you can’t??? You most certainly can. I have a right to see him. If he’s fine, like you say, then there’s no reason why you can’t let me talk with him, right now.” 

 The doctor leaned away from me, rolling his chair a bit further back, almost as if in a protective stance between myself and the door that continued to bar my way, “To clarify, what I mean is that would be a very bad idea. You see, in our experience, reintroducing the patient to…. The human they’re most familiar with after they’ve been properly acclimated and relaxed, will only serve to significantly agitate and generate an undue amount of stress for the patient right before major surgery. It is best to keep them calm and in one location prior to operating. You wouldn’t want to frighten him, would you?” 

 “Well, no, of course not, but—“ 

 “—and, as for his consent to the operation, we, of course, agree with you wholeheartedly, that your companion should have a voice, however, we, unfortunately, live in a world where only your signature is binding.” By the time he finished his speech, he’d rolled back to the edge of the counter opposite me. 

 I swallowed, my nervous system awash with adrenaline, my mind abuzz with fear and frustration. I just wanted to see him, to know he was okay, to hold him and never let him go again, “You say he’s just waiting back there? He’s not in pain? He hasn’t asked for me?” 

 The vet tech replied, her intended reassurance somehow unsettling to me, “Believe me, we made sure he was as relaxed as possible before we came in here to talk to you. He’s in no pain, whatsoever.” 

 “A-and there’s no alternative to keep him from having to go under?” 

 “Unfortunately, no.” It was her boss’s turn to reply. All I could think about was the look on Alexander’s face when he begged me not to let them put him to sleep. My chest tightened, the doctor carried on, “The infection is getting worse by the minute. It’s highly possible, if not probable, that if left untreated, it will develop into sepsis, which can lead to organ failure. In addition, he likely won’t walk again if the leg doesn’t have the chance to heal properly. He’s stable at the moment, but he needs to be treated now to prevent further complications…” I blinked hard, trying to settle the fire alarm fire blazing in the back of my skull. I gaped, like a fish, my eyes darting from my own hands, clasped tightly together, and back up to the doctor. 

 “I-I just want him to come out of this okay…” As I stammered, the tech fished for and offered me a document, flipping it open to a signature line, while the doctor offered me a hefty ballpoint pen from his front pocket. 

 “Then all you have to do is sign and date right here and we’ll get your little guy all patched up!” A painted nail tapped along the dotted line. I stared hard at the black blocks of text on white printer paper, but couldn’t make sense of any of them.

 It didn’t seem like I had any choice. He could die if something wasn’t done, and fast. My heart was thundering in my chest. I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t do everything I could to help him. He was a fighter, he’d fight through this too. The least I could do was give him a chance. Then, when it was all done, I’d do everything I could to help him get back to normal as soon as I could hold him in my arms again. The sound of an impatient cough broke me from my train of thought. 

 “So? How would you like to proceed?” 

 I bit my lip, my head on fire. I reached for the pen, unable to think about anything other than those two frightened little eyes, “You promise me you’ll take good care of him? That you’ll be gentle? He-he means a lot to me. I don’t— I don’t know what I’d do if anything….” I choked on the words as my eyes welled. I cleared my throat to hold it down. “I’m not going anywhere until I’m holding him again and I know he’s safe and sound.” 

 “You’ve got nothing to worry about. Like we said, we think he’s just precious. It’s always such an honor to take care of other people’s companions. He’ll be back to normal in no time.” That blinding smile. Paper pushed forward. The pen, slippery between my clammy fingers. I swallowed, hands trembling, the hairs on the back of my neck standing up. 

***************

I was floating, weightless, not quite alive, not quite dead. I felt nothing, I had no sense of my body, where I was in space, or time, for that matter. I was asleep, but dreaming in vivid color of nothing put velvety blackness stretching on for eternity. Who and what was I? I didn’t have the faintest idea. 

Then, as if honing in on some distant frequency, like sudden static from an alien satellite transmission, I heard a babbling of noises, coupled with a repetitive sound, like a beeping, that cycled at seemingly regular intervals.  

They were incomprehensible at first, these sounds, just irritants, loud and untranslatable. But slowly, slowly, this floating, weightless, thing that was and wasn’t me, whoever that was, began to stitch the sounds together into… words. 

Floating above my consciousness like some ethereal notes in some unknown symphony, I found descriptors for these sounds, or, I think they were called, voices? One sounded female, the other male. I couldn’t, at that moment, remember what those descriptors implied, but I, somehow, knew they were apt. As I floated along in darkness, those words began to form snatches of sentences. 

 The male was first, “Wait, wait, you actually said that?” 

Then the female, “Fuck yeah, I did. I was like, ‘Lady, your little dude literally could not be more relaxed’ and she was just all, ‘Oh, o-okay’. Like, I won’t lie, for a minute there I thought we were gonna have to call security, but she totally ate it up after a while…” 

“No shit?” 

“That’s the thing, Greene pegged her for one of those overly-concerned types. So, it wasn’t hard to build up the drama of it all. These little guys are, like, cash cows if we put them under the knife…”

“Really? Why? Cuz they’re basically the same as people?”

“Yeah. Dude, look I know you’re new and everything but did you not pay attention at all in school? You have to take a whole extra semester of classes just to be qualified to operate on ‘em. And, yeah, he’s still sorta in hot water from the shit that went down a few months ago, but, like, it’s not like Miss Worry Wart and her pissed off little chihuahua here, will ever know about it. I think Greene’s smart to go after the money. Anyway, he showed her how bad the break was and pushed her to go for it. Don’t tell Greene this, but I think the full break in his femur might be our fault. We might’ve been a little too rough– Don’t say a fucking word, Jason, you toyed with him just as much as I did…” 

More sounds accompanied my non-existence as I heard things I think I remember calling footsteps and the scraping of chair legs on a linoleum floor, a new gruff voice, male. Barking, commanding. All the while that same beeping sound, keeping rhythm like a… metronome? Was that the proper term? 

I heard words like scalpel, incision, stable, antibiotic. I had a sense I was once familiar with them. 

However, as the unknown length of time pressed on, my endless floating began to change. Numbness no longer permeated all around. I slowly began to sense that I was…. Lying down? That I was…. Cold? Very, very cold. Or was I hot? That rhythmic sound changed its beat, getting faster. I heard, “vitals shifting” from… one of those voices? Or all three? I knew, now, I had a body, even if I couldn’t feel it. Well, not all of it. 

As though waking from a dream, second by second, feeling returned. Like a kettle slowly rising to a feverish, shrieking boil, I too, began to feel a tingling, which turned into a hazy ache, that cascaded into a burning, a searing, an excruciating wildfire of pain exploding from my leg. The background rhythm was beeping like crazy now, inconsistent and frightening. The part of me I remembered as a chest was heaving up and down. 

Above all that, came loud, thundering, angry voices, like gods threatening to rent the sky in two with their rage. 

The gruff, male voice was accusatory, “How much, Nina? How much did you administer?” 

A female voice, high, defensive, “W-well, I didn’t wanna over do it! Look at him, he’s tiny!”

A third, panicked, “His heart rate is spiking, he’s destabilizing… h-he’s coming to!” 

“Nina, you have to tell me what you gave him or I’ll end up killing the little bastard. How much?” 

“Shit! I gave him 0.2 milliliters, okay??” 

The panicked male rejoined, “I told her that wasn’t enough, sir! I said—“ 

“Oh shut up, why don’t you? I can’t trust  either of you. It’s a simple fucking task… and you two still fuck it up—“ 

Like being suddenly and forcefully pulled from the quiet, rocking depths of the ocean to flounder helplessly on the deck of a boat, gasping for air and waiting for death, all medicinal haze was ripped away and I was fully aware, fully awake and fully alive to the absolute horror that was my situation. 

The sounds of my own screaming seemed separate from me, as I sat up, flailing, bloodshot eyes wide and twitching. I heard the voices of the creatures so much bigger than me up above. 

“Jesus fucking Christ, restrain him before he fucks this up!” 

 In one panicked, fear filled heart beat, I took it all in: blinding, painful overhead light, blue, monstrous tendrils, encased in latex, like some kraken with twenty powerful appendages instead of just eight, surrounded me. The human fingers were all so huge and overwhelming. There was something shoved down my throat, slick, clear, it snaked off to an unknown destination, on my chest, something adhesive, thick, stiff, with wires protruding from it, an electrode for an electrocardiograph, but seemingly for a much larger life-form than myself. Without hesitation, I pulled on the tube, but was barely able to wrap a fist around it before.. 

“Oh no you don’t, stay still!” Those disembodied fingers wrested it away from me and pinned me back down against the metal surface below. I didn’t want them to touch me, I had to get free. Snarling and screaming, I writhed and kicked, but that quickly came to an end when my entire body was suddenly wracked with a sharp, biting, fresh sensation: the most excruciating pain I’d ever felt in my life. 

“Shit.”

Through the tears welling in my eyes, I hazarded a glance down at my leg. What I saw there made me nearly pass out. 

 Blood was spewing, thick, red, hot, horrendous. My knee was all red, open flesh, slick and horrific. The source of this brand new pain? Still pinched between his fingers, the blade of the scalpel, massive, razor sharp, was buried in the flesh of my knee. I was screaming and wailing, trembling from head to foot. 

 Meanwhile, the man wielding the instrument of death above my head, simply scowled as though he’d found a bruise on his apple or a fly in his drink. He grimaced at his surgical tool in my leg like it was some mildly frustrating inconvenience that was interrupting his work. Planting a finger on my ankle and a thumb on my thigh, he pinched the handle of the blade and ripped it from my leg. My ears rang as my vision faded momentarily. 

 He replaced the bite of the scalpel with pressure from a thumb pressing a strip of gauze to staunch the bleeding, over his shoulder, he regarded his inferior, “Well, at least this one isn’t dead because of your little mishap. Where’s Lindsey? She’s the only person here I can trust to do anything right the first time.” 

 “Y-you put her on laundry…. Sir….”

 “Go get her.” The young man stared at his boss, with a dumbfounded expression, “That means now, Jason! Goddammit, I’m surrounded by idiots! As for you, Nina. This is the last straw. Pull this shit again and you’re fired. I’ve already got the AHA crawling up my ass about the last case. Go home, I don’t want to see you till Monday.” 

 “-But… I was just having fun with the little guy, I didn’t mean—“ 

 “Monday. 6 am. Got it?” 

 “You know this little fucker bit me? Maybe we shouldn’t waste all our time and effort and just put him down for aggressive behavior!” 

 “Nina, go home!” And with a dissatisfied sigh, she was gone from my field of vision. He spoke, but not to me, “I’m getting way too old for this shit…” I felt eyes trained on me for a split second, before the sound of a door squealing open, caused us both to turn our heads in its direction. 

 Lindsey practically ran in, Jason, seemingly with no sense of urgency whatsoever, following behind. 

 Breathless, the kind woman rushed over to where I lay. The man pressing his thumb into my open flesh, bellowed at her, “Lindsey, finally! I’ve staunched the bleeding. Clean up this godforsaken mess, intubate him, suture the site of incision, blah, blah. You know what you’re doing. I need a fucking cigarette… or ten. Come get me when it’s time for client delivery. Ah, and Jason…. You’ve proven today to be utterly useless, too. Go home and get out of my hair before you make my migraine any worse.” 

 The grumbling voices and movements of the men faded from my notice as the young woman with bright, hazel eyes stared down at me with true compassion. I was a pathetic mess, face streaked with tear stains, the plastic tubing thrust down my throat, half naked and trembling as my knee lay cut open and thoroughly rent. 

 “You poor, poor little thing. What’d they do to you? Are you in pain?” I nodded furiously, tears threatening to fall again. My breathing was ragged. Every muscle in my body ached. I didn’t have the energy to make noise anymore, let alone put up a fight. 

 “Of course you are. Okay, well I promise you I will help you. I’ll do everything I can to help. It’s Alexander, right? I’m Lindsey. I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve this, Alexander. Look at me, hey, it’s okay. Don’t cry. You’ll be back home in no time. But first, I need your help, alright? Will you help me? I need to close up this wound here, so you can start to heal. But, that’s going to be extremely painful if you’re awake. Do I have your permission to put you to sleep so you won’t feel anything?” I jumped, snarling and shaking my head,  “I promise, I know how to do it correctly. You won’t wake up in the middle of it, this time. Look, here, I’ll show you exactly what I’m gonna do. You see your knee, how it’s still all cut open and exposed? I’m going to stitch that all back together, with one line down the middle and a horizontal line above your knee. You’ll have a “T” shaped scar once it heals. All the infection is cleared out and, hopefully you’ll regain full use of that joint after the bone in your leg fuses back. But I don’t know for sure, now that you got an abrasion from a scalpel on top of everything else. Hey, don’t squirm… try to lie still… I know you don’t know me, but I need you to trust me, okay? I wanna see you reunited with… What’s your friend’s name? Is it… Natalie?” I nodded, noticing how my heart fluttered and the machine with its beeping gave away the increase in my heartrate, “I wanna see you reunited with Natalie as soon as possible. You want that, too, don’t you?” I nodded, gritting my teeth through the constant pain, “I’ll make you another promise in return, okay? I won’t leave your side and I won’t let anyone else lay a finger on you until you’re back in Natalie’s hands. Do we have a deal?” I nodded sheepishly. Feeling utterly spent, but still completely terrified, I laid back down, flat on my back, and began counting backwards from one hundred to calm myself. 

 “Okay, Alexander, I’m turning on the anesthesia now. All you have to do is take a deep breath, in through your mouth and out, through your nose… Good, perfect. That’s perfect. You’re going to be okay, Alexander. Natalie’s waiting for you. It’s time to sleep, now… jussstttt relaaaaaxxxxxxx…” My eyelids felt extraordinarily heavy as her voice melted and faded. Then, within another cycle of breath, I was fast asleep. 

 ********************

 I’d long since chewed my cuticles to bits until I drew blood. I’d paced every square inch of this hellish little room that was starting to feel more like a cage than a waiting area. I’d driven the secretary crazy asking time and time again if they’d be done soon. Her flat, insincere, “Any moment, I’m sure” made my blood boil. I was about to tear my hair out at the roots when the squeal of the door made me leap to my feet and fly across the linoleum tiles.The woman who entered the room was a stranger to me. She came in pushing the door with her shoulder, her back to me, initially. As she turned around, I saw why she’d come in that way. Her hands were otherwise full with a tiny little body.

 He was cradled very gently in her cupped hands, completely unconscious. He lay there, peacefully, his knee wrapped thickly in a massive bandage of white gauze. I reached out for him immediately, “Let me! I have to hold him. Is he okay?” Wordlessly, she very carefully slid his limp little form from her hands to mine. I cupped both palms, trembling just to feel his skin on mine again. The second his tiny weight landed in my grasp, my eyes welled with tears. 

 He lay there, completely disheveled, his lips parted, his hair sticking up all over the place, his skin looked pallid and shiny from sweat. I cradled his little head on the pad of my pinky finger. The same one he’d squeezed before being carted off. The rest of him nestled safely in the hammock of my two palms pressed together, his heels resting just over the edges of my hands, balancing atop my wrists. I was so grateful just to hold him again, I leaned in and whispered, “Alexander. You’re okay. You’re coming home… I was so worried about you…” I rubbed his hair from his eyes, caressed his little cheek, traced his chin, rubbed his pecs and relished in the pounding of his tiny heart, all with the tip of my thumb. 

 I had forgotten for a moment that he and I were not the only ones in the room. I glanced up to notice the new vet tech standing politely, staring at the little man in my hands with an expression that mirrored my own. I cleared my throat, hurling a barrage of questions at her, “So? How is he? How’d he do? Is he going to heal successfully?”  

She seemed to hesitate at these questions. My pulse quickened as I watched her cast her eyes down, before meeting my gaze. I furrowed my brow, she cleared her throat, “… He, he was… incredibly brave. The good news is he should be free of infection and after a round of antibiotics, he will be back to normal. Um… However, the surgery involved… well, a little more trauma than expected…” 

“W-what? What does that mean?” 

She was hushed to silence as Doctor Greene chose this incredibly inopportune time to make his appearance. The second he walked in the door the smell of cigarettes wafted in with him. Did the tech’s shoulders seem to slump a bit when he entered the room? “I see you’ve already gotten acquainted with Lindsey…” he then whipped around to her and mumbled under his breath, “I thought you were going to tell me when you were ready to return him…” She didn’t say a word as he turned to me, his voice back to being chipper and light, “…And your little friend is back where he belongs. Wonderful. Now, as you can see, everything went just fine. He’s still under the influence of anesthesia at the moment, and it will likely take him several hours before he’s fully alert and awake again. Now I will tell you, when he does come to, it is highly possible that he will be disoriented and confused. He may not know himself or you at first. He may ramble on about half truths and hallucinations from his experience with us. This often happens. Their little brains get flooded and they become highly overwhelmed. They often exaggerate the details. Don’t worry if he acts a little skittish, or upset by the ordeal, they almost all do. We do everything we can to keep them calm, but it can still be frightening simply because they don’t understand. Just lay him in some dark, isolated place and he’ll quiet down soon enough.” I wasn’t going to put him in solitary confinement after one of the most traumatizing experiences of his life! He’d be right by my side until he made a full recovery. That was non-negotiable. 

I stared at his sleeping form in my hands. Alexander, his head was no bigger than the tip of my pointer finger. His hair stuck to his forehead in a sticky, sweaty mess, his little chest rose and fell in a slow rhythm. I carefully slid him into one cupped palm, gently taking up his tiny left hand on the tip of my, now free, finger. Even in his unconscious state, his body fully limp, the weight of his hand, his arm, felt like nothing. 

Alexander, were they good to you? Are you going to be okay? What did she mean there was more trauma? I wish you’d open your little eyes and talk to me. I want to hear it from you, no one else. He, of course, stayed motionless. The doctor continued on, “I’ve filed a prescription for a round of antibiotics, as well as pain medication, those will stave off infection and help with recovery. Now, the bandages will have to be changed at regular intervals, and please don’t forget to wrap the sutures in plastic wrap before dipping him in water, otherwise you’ll be right back where you started. Keep the area as dry as possible and, of course, keep him from bearing any weight on it for the first four weeks. Speaking of…”

He began to fish in his pocket. I continued to stare at the sleeping little life taking refuge in my hands, my heart skipping a beat when his tiny hand flexed and squeezed my finger. I looked up long enough to see the vet reveal, in the flat of his palm, something sealed in a little plastic bag printed with labels that obscured what was inside, “Now, he, almost guaranteed, won’t need that walking aide long term, but just in case, or at least for those first few weeks, after the initial month off, he’ll have it. You can give it to some dollhouse enthusiast afterwards.” I reached for the tiny aluminum cane, approximately three inches long, and pocketed it, before caressing his bright, golden hair, “And, if you think he’ll try to mess with his bandages too much, these are highly effective at dissuading them…” He’d fished around in a drawer before offering something else in his outstretched hand. This time, it was a tiny little surgical cone. I set my jaw. Absolutely fucking not. He’d kill me if I put that on him. My disapproving sneer was enough to express my opinion on the matter, “Alright, then. Just a suggestion…. I have one more form that I’ll need from you for our exit paperwork and otherwise, Trisha should settle payment at the front desk.”

“You know he’s gonna tell me if you did something….” I tore my eyes away long enough to burn holes into his bespectacled ones. 

He raised his brows, smirking a bit in surprise, “Of course, miss. But, like I said, they come up with all kinds of fanciful tales when under the influence of medication. He’ll likely be quite disoriented and confused.” 

“You have no clue who you’re messing with, do you? If you so much as bent a hair out of place, I promise you, you’re going to regret it. He won’t hesitate to come after you.” 

A stifled chuckle and the clearing of a throat on his part told me what he thought about that. The tech just stared at the floor, clearly unamused. 

I raised a brow, challenging him, “Just wait and see what happens….” It was enough to make the veterinarian and his tech exchange a worried glance. Satisfied, I left that godforsaken room and checked out. It was a blur of curt interactions. I tried not to balk when the total was read aloud. I just wanted to get him home and away from this place. 

The drive home was drizzly, cold. It’d gone from morning to dusk since I’d first arrived, to now, as the hospital finally faded from my rearview mirror. As I drove, I cradled him with one hand against my pounding heart, caressing his head and chest with a thumb. 

 Returning home, finally, after picking up his medications, I collapsed on the bed, unwilling to let him out of my sight for more than the length of a single heartbeat. “You’re gonna be okay, Alexander. You’ll heal up, good as new. I’m right here with you, I’m not going anywhere, never again.” I stroked his head, his cheek, his chest. When I laid the length of my finger down on top of his body, he, as if from instinct, wrapped his tiny arms around it, just like he had the day I’d watched him sleep in my nightstand drawer. 

 I couldn’t help myself, my throat got tight again. Poor Alexander. He was such a fighter, a survivor, but at the end of the day he just needed a little bit of tenderness and love, like everyone else. I burst into tears, “You’re so sweet under all of it. You’re such a sweetheart. So small…. Look at you, look at how little you are. I can feel your tiny heart pounding away. What’re you dreaming about? Do you know you’re safe? Do you know you’re with me?”

 His brow twitched and I held my breath, hoping to watch him stir awake. But no, his little arms went limp again, one sliding off of my finger and landing, limply, by his side. I pinched his other wrist between the pads of my fingers and kissed the inside of his palm with careful lips, “You’re so brave. You’re so incredibly brave. Do you know that? I’m in awe of you. You’re so much stronger than I could ever be…And…I’m so sorry.” My chest hurt as my throat clamped down, the tears cascading down the planes of my face, “I’m sorry if you’re hurting. I never meant to hurt you. You have to know that. I wanted to help. I just wanted to help you get better. Please, please wake up. Alexander? C’mon, open your eyes. Please tell me you’re okay. Tell me that bad feeling I had was just a feeling and nothing more. Did I fuck up? Were you scared? Alone? Did you need me to come rescue you? If they hurt you, I’ll help you kill them and hide the bodies. I swear. I’ll help you make them pay. You deserve so much better than this, Little Nightmare. Let me help make it better. In whatever way I can. Please. Just wake up….” 

 I took his tiny hand and splayed it out on the tip of my finger. It was his left hand, his writing hand. Tiny little veins protruded from the back of it and along his forearm. His fingernails were hard to even see, slightly purple against the rest of his skin. The fingers were lithe, slender. He had ‘perfect piano playing hands’ as my mother had always called them. I adored this little hand. I rubbed the back of it, with an ever so delicate brush of my right thumb. You’re going to do great things with these hands. I know you will. 

 Almost as if on cue, he started to stir and twitch. My heart leapt to my throat, as I watched wide-eyed and breathless. I laid his little hand back down over his chest. I wasn’t sure if he’d be blitzed out from the drugs and think I was trying to grab him. His brow furrowed deeply as he tossed his head to the side. His whole body shivered and his little hands twitched and then relaxed. My heart was thundering away. Then, in a sudden rush, he opened his brilliant little eyes with a gasp, and stared up, directly at me. Good morning, Little Nightmare. 

 “Hello. How are you feeling? Does anything hurt? Are you okay?” I spoke just above a whisper, trying to be as soft and comforting as I could. His brow furrowed as he listened to the timbres of my voice. He looked confused, his eyelids seeming far too heavy for him to keep open. He didn’t say a word, just blinked lazily, his little mouth slightly open, “Alexander? Talk to me. How do you feel?” 

 His eyes batted in rapid succession, he sucked in air, as if shocked, “You know my name???” Did he not even recognize me? Was he still disoriented like the doctor had mentioned?

 “Alexander? Of course I know your name…. Do you know mine? Do you know who—“ 

 He scoffed, blowing air through his lips, interrupting me. He did this far too loudly and for far too long, even after I’d gone silent. As he laid back in my hand, every muscle relaxed, his cheeks flushed, his jaw slack and his speech lazy as though speaking through a mouthful of cotton, that little know-it-all brain of his still managed to shine through, “Of course I know who you are! Easy…” he paused for a full five seconds, searching for the next word, “…peasy…” Oh my fucking god, this tiny man is still high off his fucking ass!

 He blinked, once, twice, three times, as he lifted himself up on an elbow. But he was barely able to do that before he came crashing back down with a little grunt, his head lolling a bit. I tried to stifle my laughter, reminding him to be careful. “No, nnno! D-don’t, don’t you laugh at me!” 

“I’m not! I’m not laughing at you, Alexander, I promise!” I protested, literally fighting to keep my composure as I spoke. 

His brow furrowed as he huffed, all the while pointing his little finger up at me, jabbing the air like a professional swordsman, “You are! You think I don’t know! B-but I’m nnot stupid! I know! I know exactly who you are! Ex-ac-tly!” He punctuated each syllable while his head lolled about and he blinked sleepily, “So don’t… don’t act like I don’t know! I do! I’d recognize you anywhere!!” Okay, little man, we get it. You’re right, I’m wrong, what’s new? Even high you’re always ready to pick a fight with me. 

 I’d gone from weeping over his limp little body, to biting back tears of laughter. He was entirely in his own little world right now. I couldn’t believe I was watching the same super serious, uptight, angry little bastard I’d come to know and love now rambling nonsense in his post-surgery daze. I tipped my chin, having way too much fun, “Oh yeah? Who am I, then, smarty pants? What’s my name??”  

“You…. You are unmistakably–  Mmmm, the air tastes funny…”  

“Alexander!” 

“Hmm??” His eyes were halfway to closing as he mumbled. Poor thing. He’d been through so much. I should let it go. 

“Never mind, forget it… you should rest—“ 

Then, with a sudden burst of energy that made me jump, he stared me straight in the eye and pointed up at me, “Arwen Undómiel!! Th-that’s… that’s your name…” He was grinning from ear to ear, absolutely delighted with himself for cracking the case. 

“I’m sorry… what?!” He thought I was a Tolkien elf. And he’d said it in perfect elvish, no less. The smartest man I’d ever met genuinely believed I was a fictional elf. Oh god, I hope he remembers this, so I can tease him about it later. I couldn’t help myself: I burst into laughter.

#Just hold him and don't let him go #Just wait till he fully comes to #Poor Alexander #a fraction of justice #oc:alexander #oc:natalie #g/t writing #g/t community #giant/tiny community #g/t angst #Giant/tiny #g/t

[ratcatcher0325]

A Fraction of Justice (Chapter #28)

Alexander is back and he's ready for.... napping. No, no this chapter is interesting, I swear.

Chapter #28. Alexander wakes up from his nap but has a much harder time getting Nat to come to from hers. How will he solve this problem? You guessed it. Through rage and yelling.

Previous: Chapter #27

Next: Chapter #29

Word Count: 6,603 Read Time: Approx. 51 mins

CW: adult language, angst, allusions to medical abuse

Tag list: @gatlily @patrocolus3 @beautifulunknowntrash @titan-god-420 @andraimeide @themarlo @cup-o-chai @lucentbliss @raccoontoaster @tolsizedlove @not-a-space-alien , @thegodmother007 , @honey-olive , @bittykimmy13 , @aceouttatime , @imvenusasaboy , @liminaldaze , @windshield-patent , @joxter-coded , @rosella35 , @narrans , @rubeau-art , @littlescaryinternetguy , @jae-from-discord , @kitn-underfoot , @secretly-small @writing-forever , @iinogongju , @tales-of-aestus-deactivated2023 , @itsgothgirlthyme , @make-me-giant , @reborrowing , @whatthisfemsheplikes , @soapysoap69

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A Fraction of Justice

Chapter #28: Rosemary for Remembrance

[Natalie’s POV]

My heart leapt in my chest as I looked over what I’d carefully crafted. Balanced delicately on the aluminum lid of a mason jar, which served as a tray of sorts, was a tiny place setting, complete with a dish I could balance on my pointer finger, a miniature glass of water with a few drops filling it to the brim, a mug of tea, and teeny tiny little utensils, small enough that I had to press the tip of my finger into them to pick them up. Piled high on the plate was a simple, very finely diced, medley of chicken and peppers over an adorably small bed of quinoa. Simple, yet filling and wonderfully displayed in perfect, proportionate miniature just for him. I couldn’t wait to see the look on his face when I revealed it to him. I delicately placed a paper napkin over the top of it all and laid the whole thing in the flat of my hand. 

Picking up my own plate, I padded down the hallway, almost giddy like a little kid. I couldn’t deny, it hurt when he’d thrown his little fit about the clothes. I’d been excited for them, how could I have possibly known he expected to dress like freakin Downton Abbey every day? I couldn’t help rolling my eyes as a smile curved my lips, in spite of myself: what a little mess he was. But hey, for all his fussing about clothing, maybe I’d be able to make it up to him with a warm meal. He must’ve been starving at this point. 

I paged the door with my side as I slipped into the room, biting my lip to keep from beaming. I’d just opened my mouth to announce that dinner was served when I laid eyes on him. 

Instead of finding him fidgeting impatiently in his little desk chair or pouting with his arms crossed on the edge of the bed, face flushed from the horrors of being forced to dress casually, he was fast asleep, splayed out on the right side of his tiny mattress. My heart melted. 

I gently laid out two very differently sized place settings down on the surface of the vanity, carefully balancing the mason jar ‘tray’ on his little desktop. With one sweeping motion, I made sure the thin napkin stayed in its place, serving as an extremely low budget cloche. 

Once all was settled, I turned my eager attention to the sleepy little life below me. His deep slumbering breaths caused his chest to rise and fall to the rhythm of his slowed heart. I felt a thrilling tingle trace my spine as I noticed what covered that tiny beating breast: crimson letters each no bigger than 8-point font. I’d secretly hoped his keen eyes would spot what I’d purchased especially for him. Smart little thing. If anyone deserves a free ride to Harvard, it’s you. 

His right hand lay slack over his abdomen, rising and falling with the air in his lungs. His injured leg was splayed straight out, while his left was bent, tucked beneath his hurt knee. His left hand had fallen limply at his side, just barely balancing on the edge of the mattress. I don’t know why, but the detail of seeing his tiny head, usually all full of blustering anger and intellectual fervor in his waking hours, resting on a tiny pillow, almost overwhelmed me. It delighted me to no end to see him interacting with furniture that fit him. For a moment, if I squinted my eyes, I could imagine my perspective was just an aerial shot in a movie and the little man before me wasn’t tiny at all, but belonged perfectly to a world that matched his proportions. I suppose he’d dreamt of such an impossible fantasy quite often.

Hello there, Alexander. I propped my head on my elbow and took in the mesmerizing sight of the man who could fit in the palm of my hand. Dinner could wait a minute… or thirty.

There was something wonderful about watching him in this moment of total tranquility, it was like a window into a future where he felt safe and satisfied. Poor little man, even without knowledge of all the details, I could tell he’d had a hard and painful life. I could imagine pretty much everyone at his size had. They were so vulnerable, after all. Looking at his bandaged leg, I was reminded that despite all his boisterousness and snapping, he was actually quite a fragile little being. It was easy to forget sometimes. He put so much effort into tricking you into thinking the opposite, after all.

I knew he was utterly wiped. Especially after all the melodrama in the bath. He deserved to sleep peacefully, knowing no one would ever dream of hurting him again. Not on my watch. As long as he’d let me, I’d be more than happy to do everything in my power to give him that peace of mind. 

A pang of guilt rushed through me as a biting, critical thought burned through my cortex, searing the edges of my amygdala (did I remember Psych 101 well enough to get that right?). Despite my genuine desire to keep him safe, I’d hand-delivered him to hell on earth, myself. He couldn’t recall the details yet, but I believed him when he said they’d been cruel. I felt the burning sensation cut through my chest. Would I ever be able to make up for what I’d done? Or would he want nothing to do with me the second he could stand on his own two feet? Could I even give him what he needed to be happy if he could stomach the idea of staying with me?

Just then, he twitched in his sleep. It was nothing more than a microscopic little clenching of his fist and twitch of his brow as he pursed his tiny lips, still, I felt my heart skip a beat. Enough agonizing over the future, all I could do right now was relish in this precious moment. He was with me for now, and maybe that was enough. Not only that, but he was safe, comfortable and relaxed. That’s all I wanted for him. 

Staring down at his little form, practically sinking into the surface of the mattress, I felt a tingling sensation run the length of my spine. Would this ever get old? I couldn’t imagine it would. The only thing that could possibly make this better is if it was my hand that held his limp little body aloft as I felt him twitch against the surface of my palm. Blood rushed to my cheeks just thinking about what a precious gift it was to get to hold him while he slept. I didn’t think I’d ever forget how that felt, even if I wanted to (not that I ever would). And he’d looked me directly in the eyes and requested it from me! He saw me, at least for that one moment, as a safe place to rest his head. All I wanted was to be deserving of that trust. I was painfully aware I had a long road ahead of me for that. 

I shook my head, banishing the guilt again. Present moment, Nat. I reached for my phone and flipped on the camera. If I wanted to stay focused on the gift of this precious instant, I supposed it could last a lot longer if I captured it in a photo. 

Making sure the flash and shutter sound were off, I aimed the camera at his little sleeping form, delighted that all of him fit easily in the frame, and took the picture. There, now when you’re pissing me off I can remember that sometimes you’re actually pretty cute. Granted, it’s only when you’re unconscious, but, we’ve gotta start somewhere don’t we? I couldn’t help but smirk. He was such a handful, this angry little spitfire, but he was also the best thing that could’ve happened to me. Who else was gonna drag me kicking and screaming through my last semester, and guilt me into cleaning to boot? Not to mention being the perfect pocket-sized, taste-tester for all my recipes. I knew he meant a thousand times more than all that, but I blushed to even think of those things.

I could stay here and stare at him adoringly for hours and not even feel the time go by, but he deserved to rest as long as he wished without me accidentally waking him. Poor thing, I imagined it’d be kinda terrifying to wake up with someone gigantic just looming directly overhead. I needed to give him his space. 

Reluctant to let go, I sighed, settling on the edge of my bed, as close to his little sleeping form as I could get, resting my head at the foot of the mattress, so my gaze lined up directly with where he lay. If he needed anything I’d be close at hand. Sweet dreams, Alexander, I’ll be right here when you wake. 

Much more quickly than I expected, I found my eyelids getting impossibly heavy as my breathing lagged and sleep claimed my mind and body. I’d forgotten how little rest I’d had today. It felt good to drift off into oblivion, knowing that tiny life, only an arm’s length away, was safe and sound. 

******

My sleep was blissful and dreamless for a while, my body sinking into the surface of the mattress... My mattress. I desperately needed the rest, it was evident by how quickly I’d fallen asleep in the first place. I was warm, safe, and the aching pain in my joints faded with my consciousness. My body craved a moment to recover, that much was clear, and it was a delight to be able to give myself that gift. 

But, as my breathing slowed to a deep, dull cascade, and my muscles melted into the fabric, releasing every fiber of tension into the forces of gravity, the ghost of an image began to form in my mind’s eye. 

It was hazy at first, like the tendrils of silvery smoke in the split second after a flame has been extinguished, flashing in and out of sight as it dissolves into an inky black void. 

I saw something electric blue, hurtling toward me, massive, forceful, frightening. Its surface undulating with strange lines and shadows. I wanted to run, to yell and fight, but I was rooted to the spot, unable to move a muscle. Another appeared, and another and another. As if emerging from the very pitch blackness of my subconscious. They were wrinkled, undulating, living. 

My head spun and a bad taste rose in my throat like bile, but stinging, my lips and tongue abuzz with the sensation, as one of those tendrils slammed into my chest, pinning me like some prized butterfly in a case, unable to escape the possessive gaze of all who looked upon me. These blue things were fingers. Fingers attached to a human hand. This was not a fantastical nightmare, but a memory. 

Another one, thick, strong, in no way holding back its immense strength against my fragile frame, pressed into the soft flesh of my throat, tipping my head upwards, while others suspended the motion of my wrists and ankles. Truly like a bug on display, all pinioned and poised. In the distance, my ringing ears could make out voices, rumbling with the thunder of a burgeoning storm: one male, one female, like boisterous claps of thunder, terrifyingly loud yet impossible to discern, at least not in this fever dream of a memory. I watched in helpless horror as something cold, and biting slid into my arm. A needle as thick around as my littlest finger, the liquid burning as it entered my veins. 

Don’t fall asleep. Just don’t fall asleep. You must fight. You can’t let them win. The wind rushed from my lungs as I was lifted again, head lolling as the drugs began to take hold. No wonder I’d struggled to remember this… I’d been utterly intoxicated! If they wanted a more pliable plaything, they certainly had one now, these monsters. They were faceless, nameless entities of evil who delighted in nothing more than torturing me simply because they had the power to do so. I felt an insatiable urge to cry and scream all at once. 

But as I was picked up against my will, in my final moments of lucidity, I’d managed to throw my gaze down far below. Just what had I seen there? I knew it was important by the way I could feel my heart thundering away at the mere thought. 

Yet, as I anticipated the most pivotal moment in my waking nightmare, the image was growing hazy, the smoke of this ephemeral ghost-like memory was starting to burn itself out. 

No! No, not now! Please not now. I must remember… 

I willed the images back from the void of my exhausted brain. Black uniform lines on white, as crisp and pristine as a raven’s feather on new fallen snow, began to materialize. The type font, militant in its precision, seemed to repeat endlessly in an upside down sea of useless text. I’d been well on the way to passing out by this point. It was entirely possible the anesthesia had erased these final moments from my mind. 

I refused to accept that as a possibility. Think, Alexander! The rumbling, gruff and ever irritated voice of my sometimes caretaker, sometimes torturer entered my mind, as I recalled the many times he berated me for misquoting a Latin verse of Homer by a single mis-conjugated verb, “Make use of that little engine between your ears… think! It’s the one thing I shouldn’t be forced to do for you!” 

I strained to turn the infinite lines of ink, which seemed to be shrinking more and more as I was pulled farther and farther away, into meaning. And that’s when, as if bending to my force of will… I remembered precisely what I’d managed to read in a panic before succumbing to their methods to pacify me. 

I shot up, with a cry, body soaked in a cold sweat. All the pain that had faded with sleep now coursed through my spinal cord, lighting up my neurons as I couldn’t help but wince. Light tortured my eyes for a moment, before I was able to take in the world around me. I was still in my bed, still on Natalie’s dresser, and still safe from the nightmare I’d just relived. My chest was heaving as my fists clutched the sheets and I struggled to breathe. Yet, right in front of me, something was quite different. 

Instead of the barren, unmade bed with its sea of tossed sheets, a woman, a mess of curls obscuring part of her face, occupied my view, fast asleep and heedless of my tortured dreams and frightened waking. That woman, who’s fingertips had become more familiar with my body than any other set of human hands, lay on the very edge of her bed, her head resting at the foot of the mattress. She’d arranged herself in a rather unorthodox way… Why? Her positioning seemed neither comfortable nor practical. Had she been so exhausted she just passed out like that? I supposed I wasn’t in a position to judge, I’d essentially done the same thing.

I admit, it was a bit of a blow to my pride that even my anguished cry as I woke from a bad dream was too tiny and unremarkable to stir the human before me. She was fast asleep as I looked on, my blood thrumming though my veins and pounding in my head as my breath came in broken hitches. She was the picture of perfect stillness while my body trembled with anticipation. I’d remembered! Finally, I knew, in excruciating detail, what they’d done to me. 

I watched her with hawklike precision, her breath heavy like a rolling, lazy tide. I leaned forward, speaking with a sharp whisper, “Hey! Natalie…” the tide rolled in and out, unburdened by me. I felt a tightening in my chest as I tried again, “Natalie! Wake up!” Nothing. Dammit, really?? I cupped my hands and gave a shout across the vast cavern of space that in reality was only maybe three or four feet across, “NATALIE!!” She didn’t even flinch, her breathing deep and unencumbered. 

Fired up now, and without a moment’s hesitation, I leaned over the bedside and clutched a scrap of brown packing paper from the floor below. It came as no surprise that it lay precisely where it had fallen: of course, she couldn’t be at all bothered to put anything away in a neat or orderly manner. Her lack of cleanliness now came to my aide, as I ripped off a piece, and crumpled it into a ball only a bit larger than my fist.  I took aim and fired. It fell short. 

Damn my little frame! 

My face flushed hot with anger as I fashioned another projectile and tried again. This one hit its mark, glancing off her forearm, which cradled her head. My celebration was short lived, however, as I watched her twitch slightly and then nestle further into the crook of her arm, mumbling slightly. 

Wake up already, you giant indolent fool! I’m at the absolute limit of my patience! 

In a flurry of motion, I made several more projectiles and began lobbing them as hard as I could. The first glanced her cheek, the next nestled in her hair, but the third smacked her right between the eyes. 

Bullseye! 

She woke with a groan and flailing of limbs. This sudden movement would have been frightening had I been within striking range, but seeing as I was at quite a safe distance, her reaction was rather amusing. 

“What the fuck?!” She batted at the attack, opening her eyes as she wrinkled her nose, as though it had made her itch. The one paper ball that had tangled in her hair stayed trapped amongst her dark tendrils, even as she began to sit up, “Alexander! What the fuck are you doing??” 

I replied with another volley of paper, narrowly missing her eye by perhaps a quarter inch. She gasped, startled, as her spine straightened and she sat upright on the corner of the bed. She was much taller than my line of sight again, her head high enough that I had to crane my neck to look at her, but, I supposed, that was the norm. Her forearms flew up to protect her face, as I threw what ammunition I had left, she cried out in a frustrated protest “Stop it! Stop! You have a shockingly strong throw for someone your size. You’re gonna stab me in the eye with one of those!” I refused, taking out all my anger about the vet, about being too little for her to even hear, and for not being there when I needed her, as I prepared to throw my final round. I twisted over my shoulder wrenching my wrist far back behind, prepping my elbow for a strong follow-through, as her hands were raised in frantic protest. 

************ 

“Alexander! Stop that! I’m up now!” What the hell, little man?? I thought we’d made good progress, yet here he was hurling things at me in a tiny fit of rage! 

He wrenched back to throw it, muscles twitching, “Alexander!! Don’t you dare! Do not throw that at me!” We were both still as statues, frozen in time, staring each other down, “…I mean it! What’s gotten into you?? Put it down.” 

He didn’t budge.

“Seriously, you little bastard, what the fuck happened to you between the time I left and came back? You were sleeping so soundly when I came in. You were goddamn adorable and I thought ‘Awww, he’s actually pretty sweet’… and then it’s like you went all Mr. Hyde on me on a dime… Ah! I see your arm twitching. Don’t! Don’t do it! Why are you so mad? What happened to that pretty little smile, huh?” 

That was very much the wrong thing to say apparently, because a ball of packing paper collided directly with my cornea less than half a second later. Ouch. But also? Good aim. 

I sucked in a deep breath to calm myself before gingerly pushing off of the corner of the bed and kneeling in the carpet, closing the gap between the angry little man and I by about half the distance, while also getting us closer to eye level, “Okay…. I don’t understand what just happened, but clearly we’re not communicating in the best way possible and you seem upset. I’m sorry for that. What can I do, Alexander? How can I fix this? It may surprise you, because of how often it happens, but I’m really not trying to piss you off, I swear.” 

He avoided my eyes, as I blinked mine rapidly, tears falling down my cheek as my eye recovered from the blow. He sat there with his arms crossed over his chest, “Hey, please tell me what’s going on in your head. I obviously did something wrong to get the surface of my eye scratched. I’m sorry if I offended you. Are you mad because I fell asleep? Did you need me and I wasn’t there? I’m so, so sorry. God, and all this time I still haven’t given you your pain meds. I’m sorry, Alexander, you must be miserable and I’m fucking it all up. I’m still kinda getting used to this whole ‘learning to be responsible for another life’ thing…” 

As I stumbled over my words, I noticed his shoulders soften, as his stiffened spine relaxed a little, and he let out a sigh before finally tipping his chin to meet my eyes. That crystalline blue gaze, usually sharp enough to cut like a knife, was just a tiny fraction softer, more forgiving, “I am in a dizzying amount of pain, I’m starving, and as you could see from my recent unconsciousness, I am desperate for sleep. Perhaps, because of these contributing factors, I was responding a bit more strongly than I should have.” Wow. That was the closest to a kind of apology that I’d ever gotten from him! Well, besides those little flowers. He continued, “But I…. I wanted to… I was hoping that… Natalie, I remembered what they did to me.” 

It felt like a bomb went off in the foot and a half space between us. Just like that, my heart was in my throat. I could feel the throb of my agitated pulse in my neck, pounding in nervous waves. What had they done? I was terrified, but I had to know, “Oh my god! Alexander! That’s… that’s huge! Why didn’t you tell me sooner??” The dead pan stare I received was all the reminder I needed, “Oh… right… well, I’m ready to listen, now, I promise. But do you want food and medication first? What do you need most right now?” 

******* 

She gingerly placed her right hand on the surface of the dresser, a pointer finger absentmindedly floating up to caress the top of my left foot and ankle, which dangled off the side of the bed. This was as close as she’d dared to get and I felt myself instinctually jump when her skin pressed into mine. Normally, I would have pulled away, frustrated by the contact, but just now, I got the sense that she needed to touch me, almost as a way to soothe herself. She clearly felt badly for having fallen asleep and for upsetting me. I could see she was really trying to apologize and do better. That counted for something. Maybe this human was capable of improving. 

“Yes, something to eat and some pain relief would be very welcome right now. Thank you, Natalie.” As I spoke, I caught her eyes. Her lips pressed together into a line as her brow furrowed compassionately, and she nodded. 

“I bet the food is pretty cold now. Give me a second to heat it up and prep your meds, okay?” She very softly patted my ankle as she pulled her hand away and stood. It was my turn to nod, as she reached across the dresser for something covered by a paper napkin sitting on my desk. I hadn’t even noticed it was there before. 

I didn’t like being left alone right then. The second she disappeared behind the door, images of my torture came flooding in. I saw blood, scalpels, fingers, so many prodding fingers, my nerves ablaze with pain, their grotesque faces twisted into saccharine smiles as they teased me. It sent a shiver down my spine. 

I laid back, resting my head on the pillow, trying to keep my heartbeat steady and my mind clear. I wish I’d asked her to take me with her. The discomfort of being held and carried paled in comparison to the anxiety that was assaulting my senses now. 

My forehead became damp with a cold sweat, blood thundering in my ears, as I clutched crimson letters and fabric in a fist, applying pressure to my fluttering chest, as my stomach churned. I couldn’t help this psychophysical response to the painful memories that were battering my brain. It was as though I was reliving it, despite being safe from harm. It was embarrassing, to say the least, not having control over my own nervous system. 

Air was suddenly difficult to come by, as my chest heaved and found no real relief. I kept seeing those indistinct blue devices of torture, squeezing my face, yanking my hurt leg, pinching my bruised ribs. These very small parts of the human body that each were enough to subdue me. I trembled, face growing redder as air continued to evade me. 

Just then she returned, saying something about the meal. I wasn’t  exactly listening. But the moment she saw me, half collapsed on the bed, clutching my chest, she put down what she was carrying and rushed to my side.

******* 

“Woah, what’s wrong? Hey, hey, Alexander? You having a hard time catching your breath? Okay, I think you’re having a panic attack. That’s okay, we can get through it. These things are a pain in the ass but you’re way too chaotic yourself to be bested by one of these fuckers…” I spoke softly, and couldn’t help but notice the corner of his mouth turning upwards into a hint of that crooked smile, “Can you sit up? Okay good. Is it okay if I get nearer? Can I touch you?” His brow furrowed as he winced from pain while sitting upright, but he still managed to nod in the affirmative and flash his eyes up at me. Those pretty blue eyes. Even in a crisis they managed to burn an impressive shade. As he adjusted himself, I laid my right palm beside him, my pointer and middle finger very gently stroking his back, while my thumb smoothed his hair away from his eyes, before resting in his lap. He propped his left hand on the knuckle and squeezed, blinking rapidly. He needed help regaining control, “Hey, look at me, let’s try to breathe nice and slowly in and out. Follow my lead, okay?” He did so, still gripping onto my thumb as tightly as he could, “I’m so sorry they hurt you. They will pay for what they’ve done. I know you’ll make that happen. But they’re not here and they can’t get to you right now. It’s just you and me. And I don’t ever want to hurt you. I may annoy the ever living hell out of you, but I’d never want to harm you.” He shook his head slightly as he hugged my thumb against his chest. He was finally getting air into his lungs and I could feel his little hummingbird heart slow to a more manageable rhythm. I ran my pointer finger along the length of his spine, delighted he was allowing me to physically comfort him at all. 

“That was… I… I apologize for, whatever that was. It was highly illogical to respond that way—“ 

“—Uh-uh. Nope. We’re not doing that. No beating yourself up today. You ever heard of complex PTSD? You had a traumatizing experience. Your body and brain needs to process that. There will be no self-shaming here today. Thank you. Maybe try tomorrow.” I started to pull my fingers away to fetch the newly warmed food from his tray, but a pair of tiny, lithe hands pulling on the tip of my thumb stopped me in my tracks. 

“Thank you… I…” He looked up at me in a manner I’d only ever seen once before, when he was truly vulnerable and scared, clinging to my pinky finger in the waiting room of the clinic. He sucked in a breath as if he was about to say something and then thought better of it. He cast his gaze down to the hoodie, and as he pinched the fabric between his little finger and thumb, he chose these words instead, “This was a thoughtful purchase.” He didn’t look back up at me. Poor Alexander, it seemed he’d hit his limit of being vulnerable today. But I’d take what I could get. 

When I placed the tray of perfectly proportional dinnerware before him, I couldn’t help but notice a flush of pink to his cheeks, as he looked on, immediately clutching the knife and fork that didn’t, for once in his life, tower over him.  

********* 

I couldn’t help from swallowing hard upon seeing what she sat down on the bed beside me. A fork, knife, spoon, a dinner plate, a cup for water, a mug with steam curling into the cooler air, all perfectly sized for my hands. I felt a wave of emotion creep up and threaten to spill over, but I managed to keep myself grounded by inspecting the individual tines on the fork. It looked just like its human counterpart. How marvelous! 

Her eyes were poring over me, delighted by my life carrying on in miniature before her. How stereotypically human of her. I was about to request that she not loom so hard, when I stopped short. What if this wasn’t about a human cooing over someone little? What if it was more like the delight of a person who’s given a gift relishing in the joy of the receiver? Being the recipient of gifts was not something I was really at all familiar with. Yet, an instinct told me she wasn’t trying to insult me, in this instance. I’d choose to give her the benefit of the doubt. 

I seemed to be in a giving vein today, or maybe that was just aftershock from her having to see me shaking like a pathetic wet puppy. It was not my intention to ever let her see me like that again. 

However, my body could no longer withstand abuse and the sharp pang of hunger that ripped through me reminded me of the task at hand. 

Evidently, we were both quite hungry, because we ate in relative silence. She paused once to point at the steaming mug, with the butt of her knife, to say, “I mixed your medication with herbal tea. It might taste awful, though, just FYI. I put a drop of honey in, hoping that would help, but let me know how I can make it better.” I don’t know why, but that simple act of thoughtfulness touched me. It showed how she’d considered, beforehand, what my experience might be like and tried to fix it. She was stupid, she was loud, she was infuriating and sometimes altogether overwhelming, but there was no denying she had a kind heart. 

The flush of color to my cheeks told me it was time to quickly switch to another train of thought. I considered the objects in my hands, once again, to calm me down. I’d never actually gotten to use a knife and fork before, but it was important that I do my best to mask my ignorance. After all, I’d spent countless hours of my meager existence watching humans chow down right in front of me while I waited for scraps. I was more than capable of learning through observation. However, it was an entirely new experience to have the actual sensation of wielding them myself, by delicately slicing a mouthful of food before piercing it with the fork (tines always turned down of course, I may have been born in America, but I’d be damned if I conducted myself like one at the table… Natalie seemed to have no such druthers as she used her fork more like a shovel than anything else. I tried not to watch).

When the meal was done, which, it must be noted, was flavorful and extremely satisfying, I plucked up the mug and imitated what I’d always seen humans do: I wrapped my hand inside the handle, cupping it tightly with both hands to savor its warmth. To human ears, I knew this would sound ridiculous, but I had not anticipated the sheer thrill of being able to just effortlessly pick objects up. I wondered if lifting this mug up from its surface with such little muscular effort was akin to how she felt lifting me into the air. It was so easy. If I wanted a drink, I could pluck the glass of water from where it sat with one hand and lift it with hardly any effort. No strain, no overwhelmingly large utensils and portions. No constant reminders of my littleness to fluster and embarrass me. For the first time in my life, I found total ease, grace, and peace in an activity that had, historically, haunted me. This ‘breaking of bread’ was something humans actually seemed to enjoy, whereas I had always grimaced and done what was necessary to sustain life as quickly as possible, hopefully avoiding too much ogling from the giant pairs of eyes around me. 

Now I found myself clutching a white, ceramic mug, propped up against the headboard of my bed. With a low perspective and a squint of the eyes, I was indistinguishable from a man indulging in a nice cup of tea after a long nine to five shift. Why did that simple idea make my heart beat faster? For the first time in my life, there were things around me that accommodated me.

“Have you tasted it yet? How bad is it?” Natalie’s voice, always just a notch or two too loud, even though I was fairly certain she put effort into lowering it for me, tore me from my thoughts as I gazed up at her and shook my head, raising the mug to my lips. 

Dear god. It tasted awful. I struggled not to spit it back in the cup. 

“That bad, huh?” She winced, brows furrowing as she propped her head in her hands, and looked down at me. I shook my head with a grimace, flashing her a thumb’s up as if to say ‘no no, it’s great’. She laughed hard enough that she snorted, which made her laugh even harder. I rolled my eyes at how worked up she became and downed the rest of the concoction in one go, trembling from disgust as the taste medicine coated my taste buds. 

“Woah! Glutton for punishment, are we? You’re braver than me, I’m such a weenie when it comes to taking meds.” She raised her brows, as I put the mug down. I shrugged, gingerly wiping the corners of my mouth. As I looked back up, I saw she was holding the glass of water, looking absolutely tiny pinched between her finger and thumb, before me. I softened a bit more. She was being awfully kind. Did I actually feel a bit guilty for getting so worked up at her earlier? I took the water from her and nodded in thanks. What was this strange feeling seeming to generate from the pit of my stomach and rise to my heart? Maybe the medicine was kicking in? 

***************

He drank like a horse. Well… If a horse could be satiated with nothing more than a few drops of water. He drained the glass quickly, clearly desperate to wash down the bad taste. I hope it’d at least ease his pain. I felt so badly that I hadn’t taken good care of him. He’d been languishing in pain just after a major surgery and that was entirely my fault. Everything had been so chaotic in the last few hours it’d been hard to keep track of time. With a wince, he leaned over his right side and set the tiny glass down, which was clutched in his left. That seemed funny to me, why wouldn’t he just pass it off with his right? Was he left handed? I smirked, overcome with how adorable that was. In any case, I had to actively restrain myself from offering to pluck it from his tiny grasp and put it down for him, so he didn’t push himself too much.

“Natalie??” He waved his hand dramatically to grab my attention. I shook my head and cast my eyes to my lap (I’d pulled my desk chair up to the vanity to eat). Face flushed hot, I felt guilty for staring… again. 

“S-sorry… Okay, so, you’ve been happily fed and medicated… You have my full attention Alexander, tell me what happened to you back there.” 

He raised his brows expectantly, waiting for… Well, I didn’t know what. He crossed his arms, disapprovingly, when I didn’t get it. For someone so little, he could be so condescending sometimes! 

I was totally confused, “W-what?”

“You should get something to take notes. What’re they teaching you in that law school anyhow??” He smiled for just a moment at his own joke, but it was enough to melt my heart.

Little Nightmare, I’ll be the butt of all your jokes as long as I get to see you happy.

I spun the chair and fished for a notebook and pen from beneath my pile of student trash and returned to his side. I clicked the pen and waited eagerly.

He pushed himself up against the headboard, resting his right hand in his lap, his left gripping the sheets, before peering up at me, those two brilliant irises hardened and haunted by a memory. The air suddenly felt heavy. I could feel the nervous pounding of my heart inside my chest.

When he spoke, it was with a definitive conviction that was impossible to dismiss, “I have substantial evidence that they’re in violation of federal law, Natalie. We have a case. An open and shut one, at that, from my perspective. They violated federal malpractice statutes 73A and B from the American Animal Hospital Association. There was an investigation less than a year ago, they were court ordered to make that information publicly available and clearly refused!” He looked up at me wide eyed and passionate. He may as well have spoken a foreign language for all I understood.

“R-right.” I clicked my pen, looking askance and trying to pretend I was following what that even meant. But of course, nothing got past his shrewd little gaze and he caught on immediately.

“You don’t even know what those statues are, do you?” Way to call me out! My face flushed. His eyes bored into mine, waiting impatiently for a confirmation of what he already knew to be true. I bit my lip and shrugged as his shoulders slumped and he sighed, rather dramatically, while pinching the bridge of his nose, “I hope you have plenty of paper in that notebook, because it looks like we’ll have to start from the very beginning.”

I felt embarrassed that I didn’t already know what he was going on about, but I looked forward to learning from the most brilliant, tiny mind in the world. I just hoped he had the patience to educate me, “Okay, Alexander. Teach me. Tell me everything that happened to you.”

I watched those brilliant little eyes light up at the invitation to share. Of course he was excited, someone was willing to listen to what he had to say! I may not know everything you want me to right away, but I hope you know I’m on your side, Alexander.

With a another click of my pen and a nod from me, he stood a little straighter. He licked his lips, swept his bangs from his eyes, sucked fresh air into his lungs and… began.

My only hope, as I pricked my ears to listen to his story, was that I could be all he needed me to be in order to fight back. After everything I was sure I was about to discover he’d gone through, this brilliant, relentless, little fighter before me deserved to win. I knew I’d do everything in my power to help make that happen and so, I prepared to write down his every word, feeling both eager and terrified to discover just what sort of living hell unfolded from behind that swinging metal door.

#Alexander is a great alarm clock #And he might have a future in baseball? #How long do you think it took her to plate that? #giant/tiny #g/t #g/t community #g/t writing #g/t related #size difference #g/t angst #g/t fluff #a fraction of justice #oc:alexander #oc:natalie

[ratcatcher0325]

A Fraction of Justice (Chapter #26)

It's a New Year! Hope you are enjoying 2023 so far!

Chapter #26. Natalie and Alexander spend some much needed time to rest up and relax.

Previous: Chapter #25

Next: Chapter #27

Word Count: 7,231 Read Time: Approx. 56 mins

CW: adult language, angst 

Tag list: @gatlily @grbene @patrocolus3 @beautifulunknowntrash @titan-god-420 @andraimeide @themarlo @cup-o-chai @lucentbliss @raccoontoaster @tolsizedlove @not-a-space-alien , @thegodmother007, @honey-olive, @bittykimmy13 ,@aceouttatime, @imvenusasaboy, @liminaldaze, @windshield-patent, @joxter-coded, @rosella35, @narrans, @rubeau-art, @littlescaryinternetguy, @jae-from-discord, @kitn-underfoot, @secretly-small @writing-forever, @iinogongju, @tales-of-aestus, @itsgothgirlthyme, @make-me-giant, @reborrowing, @whatthisfemsheplikes

Btw, DM me if you wanna be added to the tag list!

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A Fraction of Justice

Chapter #26: Birds of a Feather

[Natalie’s POV]

I kept waiting for him to suddenly sit up or open one eye and with a scowl declare “That’s enough of that!” before requesting to be set down. Surely this was too good to be true. And yet, before my very eyes, he fell asleep, wrapped around my thumb, the tiny puffs of air from his nose and mouth getting slower and more rhythmic with each exhale. His right arm, which was clutching the top of my thumb, relaxed its grip and slid a few millimeters as the limb went slack. 

His cheek was just slightly tinted with a flush of rosy pink, his lips barely parted, and as I watched a chest no bigger than the pad of my thumb rise and fall, I couldn’t help but burst into a smile. Plastered over that chest was a sparkling, ridiculous unicorn, surrounded by inky swirls of pink and blue and yellow. Poor thing. He’d suffered in that sad excuse for an outfit for far too long. My smile grew and I couldn’t help but chuckle when I remembered the look of pure loathing on his little face when I’d held it out before him for the first time. He’d flushed a bright shade of red the second he saw himself in the mirror, looking just completely adorable, a fact I’m sure he hated with every tiny fiber of his being. 

As I continued to amuse myself looking at the clunky, cheap factory stitching on the hem of the shirt which was far too large for his proportions, I noticed with a pang, a rusty reddish-brown stain in the fabric, just about the perfect size for a human fingerprint. The color was undeniable: dried blood. My heart skipped. Please let that be the result of him defending himself and breaking some skin. I could easily imagine this tiny little man, only about as tall as my outstretched hand, just stabbing the shit out of grabby vet techs with the deadly end of a scalpel, almost too big for him to lift. In any case, the once fun, stupid, little garment was now a haunting reminder of the abuse he’d endured. I’d go get him something respectable the second the opportunity presented itself. 

I could just picture his eyes lighting up when I spoiled him with new things: clothes, shoes, utensils, furniture, all perfectly sized just for him. Well, there was a limit to how far my wallet could stretch, especially right now, but I’d do everything I could. Maybe he’d break into that lovely little smile of his, eyes shimmering. Maybe he’d grip onto a finger or thumb and squeeze as tightly as he could. If I was really lucky, I might even get an earnest, heartfelt thank you. Little nightmare, you know you’ve got me wrapped around your finger, don’t you? 

I bit my lip. How lucky was I to get to be in this little man’s life? Gratitude cascaded over me like a wave, warm and all encompassing. He was unlike anyone I’d ever known. Headstrong didn’t even begin to describe him. He had every reason to be utterly terrified of the awful cards he’d been dealt in life, and yet, deal after deal, hand after hand, he refused to go down without a fight. After hearing just a snippet of what they did to him at the vet, I knew I’d never last a day in his shoes. He was the bravest person I’d ever met.

I couldn’t even begin to imagine what he’d been through, and yet he hadn’t let any of it beat him into submission. Thank you, for letting me be a part of your journey, Alexander. 

Whether I held him, marveling at the absolutely tiny signs of life of this miniature person, for hours or mere minutes was anyone’s guess. The time flew by in what felt like seconds. My room had gone from dim to dark, the lamplight outside our only illumination and yet its warm glow outlined him perfectly, casting amber rays on his hair, making it seem to ignite like fire as he softly, slowly stirred awake. 

I looked on, part of me heartbroken that the time for holding him closely and relishing in every little sleepy twitch and sigh had come to an end, while the other part delighted in watching him stir, as his warm little body wriggled back to life. His hands squeezed my thumb while he stretched his spine and turned his head to face me. His hair was a mess, he looked so adorably sleepy and disoriented that I couldn’t help but beam. 

*********** 

“You slept pretty well, huh?” Her voice surrounded me, soft, warm and undeniable. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, pushing my bangs from my face, no doubt giving myself the appearance of a rattled cockatiel, with a messy crown sticking straight up off of my head. I rolled over onto my back, opening my eyes. 

For a split second, I panicked from instinct, finding myself in a human hand. This was a place I tended to dislike being anywhere near about ninety- nine percent of the time. Columns of skin and jointed bone rose past my head and curled slightly into the infinite darkness of the room. Warmth, soft flesh and a pulse radiating like a deep, earthly vibration around me, thrummed with signs of gigantic life, as I peered high above where I lay and landed on two golden brown orbs, lit by a street light through blinds. There was nothing to be afraid of. It was only her. I was safe here.

My heart thudded in my chest for a moment when I realized this was the first time since I’d turned my back on the only home I’d ever known, that I’d awoken, not in a panic, blood pounding in my skull from primal fear or red hot anger, but sweetly, gently, with warmth all around me. I’d expected to regret my decision to let her hold me as I slept. I thought she would swoop down upon me the moment I’d regained consciousness only to pinch my cheeks between her fingers or fuss over me in some similarly condescending way. But instead, she held very still, and as my dry, sleep ridden eyes locked with hers, I saw them sparkle with delight as they flitted from my gaze to just above the crown of my head. 

My hair. 

I raised an eyebrow, “What? Are you jealous of my fashion forward hair style? Just you wait, everyone is going to be rocking this come spring!” I ran my hand through my untamed mop, as she beamed and shook her head. I shrugged my shoulders when my fingers got caught in the tangled mess instead of pulling through. I shuffled into an upright position, leaning my hands behind me, sinking my palms into her soft skin. She pulled me closer before her face. She was all I could see now, she took up my entire field of vision. 

“Good morning, sleepy head. We should get you something warm to eat, and it’s high time to take some meds while we’re at it.” Ah, of course. She was my nurse now. I wasn’t sure how to feel about that, but I was grateful for the suggestion of food. On one hand, I deeply resented needing any help at all. It made my flesh crawl. But at the same time, if anyone was to be charged with looking after me in this embarrassingly needy time, I’d want it to be her. She continued to speak, as her hand (and subsequently, me) began to lower to the surface of the bed. Two fingers from her free hand began approaching my upper body, “Let’s get you comfortable and I’ll come right back with the food…” 

She eased my right elbow out of the way and slid her finger beneath my arm, before I protested, “Hold on! I’ll accompany you.” 

“You should take it easy, I’m sure the shock has worn off and until I give you medicine for the pain, it’s going to start to hurt. You don’t want me carting you around when that happens!” 

I crossed my arms over my chest, undeterred, “I insist! Take me with you. I’m still owed an elaboration on this whole me being high thing. You’d hoped I’d forgotten, hadn't you?” She rolled her eyes and shook her head, “You had! Well, you clearly lost that bet.” 

Still, she waffled, “You sure you don’t want to relax? I don’t want to accidentally hurt you…” 

“You won’t hurt me, I’ll make sure of it. C’mon, pick me up and let’s go. Like you said, we’ve no time to waste with idling!” She did as she was told, as she gingerly plucked me up and moved me back to the center of her hand, before rising from the bed and heading for the door. 

“You ever gonna stop sounding like a tiny mafia boss? Why are you so demanding?” She flipped on the hallway light which burned my more sensitive eyes for just a moment. I tried not to flinch and held my own, even as each of her strides ricocheted through my whole body as I bounced up and down ever so slightly with every giant footfall. 

“Ah, ah! Don’t avoid the subject! I demand satisfaction! What did I do while under the influence of anesthesia that was so damn hilarious?” 

************ 

In the time it took me to cross from my bedroom to the kitchen, and set him down on a folded tea towel inside my ceramic spoon rest, placed at a safe distance from, well, anything potentially threatening to a tiny life, I’d managed to reveal to him the story of a blitzed out little man and his mistakes regarding fictional elves, impromptu vomiting sessions and teary, sweet cuddles. 

Now, he sat, incredulously, arguing with me as I chopped cilantro, “Who do you take me for, Ms. Marquez?? This entire thing sounds fabricated!” 

“Cabrón, I’m telling the truth! Goddamn, just because you don’t like it, doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.” 

“You really expect me to believe that I, me, Alexander, was cerebrally compromised enough to genuinely believe you were Arwen Evenstar?” 

“Sweetheart, you looked up at me with the biggest nerd boy goo goo eyes I’ve ever seen in my entire life! You were transcendent. I believe I recall the phrase ‘magnificent creature’ being used. ‘Divinity itself shines brightly upon you’ was thrown around… you know completely normal things friends say to each other…” 

He was tomato red. This was way too easy. Poor little man. I shouldn’t torture him too much… 

“You were very cute. You didn’t know up from down. I just wish I’d gotten it on video! Now, c’mon, make yourself useful and fashion a you-sized spoon out of this little scrap of tin foil, while I finish this up.” He was all too happy to distract himself with a task and avoid further discussion on the topic at hand. Suddenly, bending aluminum into a makeshift utensil was the most mentally gripping thing he could possibly imagine. 

After a few minutes of silence, I guess when he realized I was having mercy on him and not saying anything else, he cleared his throat and piped up, “What is it you’re making again?”

“It’s a caldo. It’s like a stew. My mom always used to make it for me when I was sick as a kid. You’ll like it; it’s warm and filling. You know, now that I think about it, you’re kinda the perfect practice taste tester for me. It takes very little to make a meal for you. I can try a bunch of different things and it won’t cost me much at all in ingredients!” 

“Har har, very funny.” He deadpanned as he waved his new little metallic creation in the air, as if to signal he was ready to eat. 

I took the pot off the stove, before resting my chin on the counter, to get more level with him, “Oh hush! I didn’t mean it as an insult. It’s a genuine perk! Now, where do you want to eat? Here or at the table or back in the bedroom?” 

“The table suits me just fine.” 

“Coming right up, then!” I winked at him before rising to standing. I’d already decided that the closest I could get to a bowl for him would be my copper, quarter teaspoon measuring cup. It looked like a tiny cooking pot fit for his size. I dipped it in the broth, making sure to fish out a few kernels of corn, bits of potato, carrot and chicken so he could have the full experience. Finally, when I was done with that, I drew my hand near him, “Ready?”

He nodded, raising his arms at the elbow. Hooking my pointer finger around the right side of his ribcage, being very careful not to apply pressure since he’d told me about the bruising, I scooped him up, towel and all into my waiting hand. He held on to the tip of my finger as we started to move to steady himself. As I turned off the kitchen light with an elbow, I looked up to see the feathery creeping of dawn through my living room windows, “Hey, actually, I’ve got a better idea… go ahead and start eating, don’t go anywhere!” Gently, I sat him down on the surface of the table and put the tiny ‘pot’ of food before him. 

“Can’t exactly run off even if I wanted to… but what’re you—?” his voice started to fade, as I was already heading down the hall to my bedroom.

I turned over my shoulder to reply, “Patience and decorum, little man!” before slipping out of sight.

“You can’t use my own line against me and do a better job with it! That’s against the rules!!!” I could barely hear his little voice as he tried his best to shout across the vast distance. I threw open my bedroom door and nabbed the things I needed, before turning on my heel and returning to the tiny man sitting patiently on my dining table. 

****** 

She returned with a coat on and a blanket slung over her shoulder. Needless to say, I was a bit baffled but could somewhat guess her intention. Still, I stayed quiet as she offered to pick me up again, simply nodding and raising my arms as was becoming seemingly customary for us. She was very careful with my injured leg, always making sure to keep it supported and extended. Frustratingly, she’d been right about the shock wearing off. A dull ache in my knee joint was beginning to blossom. I tried to ignore it as she held me against her chest, the wall of fuzzy navy blue fabric extremely soft to the touch. She gathered my meal, which I hadn’t touched while waiting for her and she turned her steps towards the hallway. But this time, instead of heading all the way to her bedroom, we stopped short, before the back door in the kitchen. 

I remember the first moment I’d laid eyes on this door. It had once been my hope for possible escape. If I hadn’t veered off-course in the pursuit of food in that fateful pantry, I’d have investigated it for any mouse holes or means of escape through the nearby vent. Now, in such a strange twist of fate that even my brilliant mind could never have anticipated, I was crossing its threshold, in the hands of the very human I’d been trying to run from. 

She brought me outside to a cramped, creaky wooden patio, the air was crisp, and I found myself instinctively huddling against the fleece of her coat, her hand cupped around all of me, as she spoke, putting down my meal on the wide, flat railing, “Come here… I’ll make sure you stay nice and warm…” fingers were gradually replaced with a fuzzy cocoon of blanket, and I found myself held aloft, utterly surrounded in warm fabric, “Better?” 

“Immensely.” 

“Good, because just look at that view…” she turned me around and placed me on the surface of the rail, and I admit, what I saw took my breath away. 

Her modest back porch gave way to a view of a rich and dense tree line, no doubt the self same ‘forest’ nestled in a golf course I’d found myself lost in before stumbling here. Between breaks in the great and ancient trunks of maple and pine, the brilliant pastel hues of a new day breaking ignited the purple and gray sky still littered with stars. Vibrant pinks and oranges, violets and streaks of blue seemed to light up the whole horizon, just for us to enjoy.

“Wow…” 

“Better food for the eyes than just my same old boring four walls, huh?” She passed me the makeshift pot of steaming stew with my handmade spoon dipped inside. I took it, and somewhat clumsily managed to settle it in my lap, before dipping the spoon in with hungry anticipation. It certainly smelled delicious. 

While I was busying myself with my meal, she had settled in, immediately to my left, leaning over the rail, her head propped up in her folded arms. The tip of her right elbow, so close I could lean my shoulder against it. When she felt the pinprick of my slight weight rest against her, she turned to face me. 

I admit, my cardiovascular system underwent a shock, taking her in, her eyes blazing an incredible gold with flecks of green I’d hardly noticed before. She smiled at me, brilliant white teeth flashing beneath rosy, full lips. Even her warm, olive skin seemed golden and luminous, as if it was, actually, the true source of those beautiful colors in the sky. My heart was in my throat. 

“What’re you looking at me like that for? Are you miserable out here? Is it too cold for you?” Her brow furrowed in genuine concern as she spoke, the realization that she may be torturing me out here dawning on her. 

“N-no! No. I mean… I’m fine. I’m nice and warm, thank you…” 

“Then what is it? You looked like you were in pain. You’re not pissed off for some weird nitpicky reason that I couldn’t possibly have anticipated beforehand are you?” 

“No, nothing like that… I… I suppose I just realized this is the first time I’ve sat outside and watched the day begin in something like twenty years. I… I was a bit embarrassed to admit that to you, that’s all. Obviously, this is no big deal to you, you likely do it all the time. You have this vista right outside after all… a-anyway…” 

“Alexander. You must not know me well at all…” 

My heart sank, had I said something wrong? “W-what?” 

“Do I come across like the kind of person that gets up before 12pm by choice, let alone wakes up at the ass crack of dawn just to stare at the sun?” 

I avoided her eyes, but soon felt a fluffy mountain of navy blue material slowly press into my entire left side, as she elbowed me playfully. 

“C’mon, Xandy, lighten up, I’m joking with ya!” 

“If it weren’t for this actually quite flavorful food you prepared just for me, I’d have to firmly remind you of my position on that horrendous nickname.” 

“Well it’s a good thing your mouth is currently too full to yell at me. Actually— fuck! That’s a great idea! I just need to feed you more often so you can’t get all pissy with me!” 

I just rolled my eyes and shook my head, lifting another spoonful of the intoxicatingly warm and delicious broth to my lips. 

We watched as the blazing orange star rose above the edge of the horizon and slowly ascended into the atmosphere. The rich, deciduous earth smelled freshly of rainwater and petrichor from the many days of thunderstorms. The twittering of birdsong rose in pitch and melody with the sun herself, as a crisp breeze teased the thinnest branches of the trees and the locks of my already disheveled hair. With delicate movements, she smoothed her own behind her ear, catching me peering up at her as she broke into a smile. I cleared my throat and stared straight ahead. 

“You finished?” She shattered my suddenly scattered train of thought with such a concise question. 

“Hm?” I hoped I sounded nonchalant. 

“The caldo? You want some more?” 

“If you’re offering, then sure. It really was quite good, thank you.” Fingers descended to pluck the bowl and spoon from my lap. 

“Approval? From this little Princess and the pea? I never thought I’d see the day!” 

My brow furrowed, “The what and the what?” I had no clue what she was referring to. 

She chuckled softly. I was grateful she spared me a greater insult by changing the subject, “I’ll be right back, okay?” And with the squeal of worn out door hinges, I was left all alone on the railing of the patio, in the exact situation I thought I’d never wanted. And yet, the fabric surrounding me was wonderfully soft, the view utterly spectacular and for a very rare moment, I felt the constant tension melt from my shoulders as I breathed a grateful sigh of relief. 

I was seated with my left leg tucked into me and I hugged my knee to my chest with my right arm and supported my weight behind me with my left. The only sound was the early morning twittering of birds and the rush and roar of cars on a nearby road. Perhaps the same one where I’d nearly been struck. I shuddered at the memory. So many moments of my journey could have ended far differently than they had. My close calls with death seemed too many to count at this point, and yet were far from uncommon for someone like me. 

I glanced around, spotting the concrete floor seemingly miles below, directly behind me. Funny, how even in the most tranquil of moments, the glaring reminder that almost anything in this human-dominated world could kill me was never far from the forefront of my mind. By the door, was a dusty, sun faded welcome mat with gaudy flowers printed on it, whose vibrant colors were now bleached to some sort of ghostly shades of blue-green and pink. That didn’t quite seem like Natalie’s style, I wondered absentmindedly if it was a gift, or hand-me-down. Over my left shoulder, I spotted a ratty looking folding chair, and a small side table, both streaked with dirt and grime from sitting out of doors. Would it kill this woman to clean a little? Perched atop the table was an herbaceous plant that looked like it’d seen better days, its leaves yellowing and withering from a likely lack of watering. I’d just turned back to face the ignited sky, noting a bird feeder swinging from an iron stake just beyond the patio’s edge on the far left corner, when a bluejay, its vibrant hue striking a compelling contrast against the peaches and purples of the sky behind it, alighted on the rail beside me. 

His plumage was brilliant, without a feather out of place. He was big. Well, at least to me, anyway. I figured he stood a bit taller than me, at my full height. He peered down with one glossy black eye at a time, his head seemingly always bobbing and moving. He was about ten to twelve inches from where I sat, but seemed to take an interest in me and hopped forward an inch or so, “Hello, there…” his white belly reflected the colors of the dawn as he came closer. As I looked him over, I couldn’t help but admire his beautiful crest of feathers, his stripe of stark black that looked like some sort of formal neckwear beneath his chin. Then, as he hopped even closer, now only five or six inches between us, something glinted in the morning sun that caught my eye. On his right claw was a small metal band, embossed with a series of letters and numbers. I clenched my jaw. You too, huh? 

“You didn’t deserve whatever they did to you…” the bird just stared back with an infinite inky void in its uncomprehending eyes, “I envy your ignorance…” I chuckled to myself. Talking with a bird, am I? I see I’ve really lost it now. 

Ah, what the hell? Why not? Maybe some small part of him understood me as we locked eyes,  “Now fly, enjoy your freedom!” I waved my arms, to no avail. I didn’t come across as much of a threat… Figures. “Go on, shoo!” The sound of a distant, blaring car horn, startled him enough to take flight. The gust of wind generated from all those feathers whipped my bangs across my eyes, as my heart fluttered in the same rhythm as the beat of his wings when he became airborne.  

His lithe, aerodynamic body twisted and turned in the air, landing gracefully on Natalie’s birdfeeder. Good, get a snack for the road. I wiped my hair from my eyes, as I watched the animal peck away at the seed and flap his wings to maintain his balance. I’m working on getting wings, myself. Maybe one day I can join you. 

With the sharp squeal of rusty hinges, Natalie pushed open the door and I traded his silent company for her gregarious one. In the blink of an eye and a flutter of feathers, he was gone. 

“Soup’s up! Chef special! Get it while it’s hot!” She entered beaming and playful, gently placing the fresh food in my lap. I craned my neck to meet her eyes as she crossed behind me and settled back against the rail, “How’d you do out here? See anything cool? Whitetail deer? Sasquatch?” 

“Oh old Squatch? Yes, he’s actually a really pleasant individual once you get to know him.” I teased as I raised the sorry excuse for a spoon to my lips, only for her to gasp so unexpectedly, it made me jump and drop my utensil into the pot below. 

“What the fuck happened? Have hell’s gates opened up? Did pigs fly? Am I dreaming? Or did Alexander, insert middle name and last name here, actually make a real, honest-to-god joke?” 

“Did… Did you just say insert middle and last name, out loud–?”

“Are you running a fever? Did the aliens replace you with a perfect clone while I was gone? Maybe I died and went to heaven!” 

“Natalie. Please. You do understand by putting on this little show you’re actively calling your own bluff, right?” 

“Oh yeah? How so?”

“Well, first of all, it’s a scientifically proven fact that I am a man that possesses an excess of charm and an exceedingly impressive wit. The fact that you have just now discovered my propensity for humor proves one thing and one thing only: You lack the intelligence to appreciate my comedic genius!” 

She scoffed, leaning down with her head propped over her arm, “W-well, I.. That’s not–” 

“And see? You round out my argument with the perfect evidence! You can’t even formulate a half-baked comeback. You’ve got to be lighter on your feet than that to spar with me, Ms. Marquez! I rest my case and yield the remainder of my time!”

She squinted her eyes and made a face, wrinkling her nose as she glared, “You’re such a little bastard.” She then put on, quite possibly, the worst Italian accent in the history of humankind and continued,  “I cook for you… my mother’s special caldo no less, and this is how you repay me?” 

“Alright! Alright! For the sake of the caldo, and the people of Italy, I will retract my previous testimony. You’re lucky this tastes so good.” I wasn’t going to even begin to address the confusing nature of her choice of accent given that the dish and she herself were Latin, not Italian. 

She shook her head and rolled her eyes. I loved driving her up the wall. In fact, it was safe to say it had become one of my specialities. Not that it was at all that difficult to do, but still, I prided myself on the frequency with which I accomplished it. 

I finished my second helping in relative quiet, enjoying the expanse of the ever lightening sky before me and the fresh air in my lungs. She did her best to distract herself with the tree line and the flocks of birds flying in ‘V’ formations overhead, so she didn’t just stare at  me while I ate. I was grateful for that, to say the least. Once the meal was done and we’d sat in comfortable silence for a few more moments, she turned to me. 

“Alexander?” She lowered herself until her chin was balanced on the wooden rail itself, as a slender, gentle finger slid across the fabric of the blanket, to land across my chest. I met her eyes as she called for me, “You ready to go inside and get cleaned up? I bet a bath would feel pretty amazing right now….” 

“For once, you’ve managed to read my mind… Yes, sounds delightful.” I hooked an arm around her offered digit, pressing my palm into her knuckle

“Yup, this stupid human is bound to get it right every now and again…. Come here, let’s get you inside.” 

I soon found myself cradled between navy blue fabric and soft, warm fingers as I was carried back inside. 

******** 

About forty minutes after turning our backs on the rising sun, I found myself popping and stretching my aching vertebrae as I sat up from my hunched over position. I had leaned over him, splayed out on my bathroom counter, for the better part of the last half hour. At the moment, I held his tiny ankle between my thumb and forefinger while I examined my painstaking work, “What do you think, mister critical? Will this ship float or sink?”

He looked up and down the length of his injured leg, casting his discerning eye over my earnest attempt to wrap his bandages tightly in cling wrap so they wouldn’t get wet while soaking. He scowled as he looked it all over, tracing his fingers over absolutely tiny wrinkles in the plastic, “This… is…” he continued to examine, and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes, “...Perfectly adequate. Thank you, Ms. Marquez. Your abilities to provide medical assistance in miniature are improving significantly. Need I remind you of your clumsiness with a cotton ball and hydrogen peroxide?” 

“No, you needn’t! Thank you.”

“That’s not—“ 

“I know it’s not a real word! I know, you unrelenting little bastard, I know.” I grimaced with extra joking gusto as I busied myself cleaning up the crumpled up piles of plastic wrap that served as headstones to failed attempts, and tossing them in the trash. I loved that I could tell it physically pained him not to finish correcting me. Little nerd. “Oh and speaking of medical care, see if anything comes to you while you’re soaking in the tub. Maybe after some solid rest and a good meal those wheels will start turning again…” he opened his mouth to quip back, but a finger laid over his chest and a quicker verbal draw silenced him, “And no, that was not a personal insult to your cerebral functioning, it’s just a damn figure of speech, little man. Unlike you, I haven’t slept yet. Give me a break.” 

I watched his board- straight spine soften at this information, “Will you rest while I’m in here?” 

“No, actually, I thought I’d run a few errands while I had a moment of peace away from your annoying little ass…” I couldn’t even finish the sentence without ruining my performance with a smile, “Here, I think everything is set up for you. By the way, I brought my tablet in here; it’s voice activated. If you need to text me, I’ll have my phone on ringer, sound good?” I could tell he felt frustrated by the texting lifeline, but I didn’t exactly feel comfortable leaving someone so little alone in my house without some way to call for help, especially when he couldn't even stand up at the moment. “It’s just for an emergency, you don’t have to use it. I’m sure you’d like some downtime from me, anyway–” He nodded in sarcastic approval, I ruffled his hair with a finger, he snarled, I beamed, he broke character and smirked back in his asymmetrical way. I admit, I felt my heart flutter, “You ready?” 

He nodded again and I cast my gaze askance, giving him privacy as he pulled that adorable little shirt over his head. Keeping my eyes averted, I inched my fingers closer, “May I?” 

“You may.”

I wrapped my fingers around his little torso, his beating heart thrumming beneath my thumb as I lifted him and lowered him into the water, going very slowly so as not to hurt his leg. My fingers dipped into the steaming bath as I set him down amongst the bottle caps with shampoo and conditioner. “All good? The plastic wrap working for you?”

“Yes, thank you.” 

With that, I rose to standing, crossing to the threshold of the door, “Alright then, have a good bath, I’ll be back in a bit–” I couldn't help but spin on my heel and step back to the counter, ‘Remember, if you need me–”

“Yes, yes, I’ve got my marching orders…” I had to admit, I felt disappointed that he suddenly seemed so annoyed with me. We’d had such a great day today, I hated for it to all come crashing down so quickly. I straightened my shoulders and tried to shake it off. He probably just wanted space. With that, I turned to leave the bathroom and heard a tiny little voice trail after me, “Have a good shopping trip, Natalie.”

“Thank you, Alexander…” 

A five minute drive later and I found myself wandering aisle after aisle of tiny little clothes, furniture and household items. I was like a kid in a candy store: Everything here was so fucking adorable! I could just picture Alexander standing next to each item, it all perfectly made for hands his size. I bit my lip and taking each aisle by storm, quickly filled my basket with everything a miniature person could need: A toothbrush, a hairbrush, a full length mirror, a little wardrobe complete with teeny tiny hangers, socks, underwear, t-shirts and jeans, dress shirts, slacks, a tie, shoes, so many adorably tiny little shoes, a bed, about as big as my outstretched hand, bath towels, hand towels, wash cloths, shampoo, conditioner, deodorant, a razor (a teeny tiny little razor!), and finally… the pièce de résistance… A tiny little wooden desk with gold trim and a green, leather upholstered top, complete with a matching swivel desk chair. 

Beaming with joy at all the adorably miniature items in my possession, I made my way to the check out. Delight coursed through me as I imagined him blushing in spite of himself. I wondered as I carefully laid each item on the rubber conveyor belt if he’d ever owned things like this before, if anyone had ever bothered to empower him with anything he could actually use. I was so deeply curious about his past, his childhood. Trying to picture Alexander of all people as a little kid felt… off.

He was so self serious and uptight. I couldn’t imagine him running around, wild and carefree, somehow even smaller than he already was. In my head, he was a perpetual tiny adult, regardless of age. Then again, maybe he didn’t get to have a childhood which would explain a lot about his personality. It seemed highly likely. I shuddered remembering just how terrified he’d been when he was medicated and confused. The poor little man, who was one of the bravest and most fearless people I’d ever known, had practically trembled head to toe for fear of the consequences if he didn’t fall in line. 

I really didn’t know much about the life he’d had before showing up all disheveled and defensive in my pantry. I didn’t expect I’d ever find out much more, but what little I did know seemed spine-chillingly awful. Pondering this, I recognized, with a pang, that I'd never fully understand just how hard life was for him. I could empathize, of course. But it was impossible for me to truly get it. How could I? I had the privilege of living in a world that accommodated my size. He did not. All the more reason to give him things to help counteract that. 

I watched as the clerk scanned each item. Picking up tiny pieces of furniture, wrapping them in brown paper and placing them in a plastic bag. As I tried my best not to fidget, I couldn’t help but wonder about the tiny man sitting in the center of my sink basin, right now. I pictured the little blue eyed devil running his fingers through his hair, while his mind worked a mile a minute. How was he doing now? Was he relaxing? Was he able to recall more about what’d happened? Funny, how someone so little took up so much space inside my head. 

“Ma’am? Hello?” 

I jumped, having no fucking clue what the 17-year-old kid in a maroon vest and a name tag has been apparently saying to me, “S-sorry, what?” 

“I said, would you like to join our rewards program today?” 

Ugh. I didn’t have time for this shit. I had a tiny little nightmare to surprise at home.

 I opened my mouth to decline when he continued, “You’ll get twenty percent off your purchase if you sign up now…”

Stealing a glance at the accrued total, I knew my bank account was in no position not to take the discount. Relenting with a sigh, I nodded yes. Sorry Alexander… just another few minutes… 

As the cashier asked for my contact information, I felt my phone vibrate and ding in my jacket pocket. Then again. And again. My blood froze. Was it Alexander? Was he okay? Did something happen?? I fished for my phone in a desperate scramble, probably looking to this high school kid like a fucking maniac, as I abruptly halted speaking halfway through giving him my email address. 

My heart was pounding away as I raised the screen to my eyes and saw I’d missed sixteen messages from him as more were still pouring in, almost instantaneously, one right after the other. I read the most recent:

[Come home!]

Then another came in. 

[NOW] 

Oh fuck oh fuck! He was in trouble! 

“Hello??? Ma’am?? I’m asking for your email! You just… sort of… stopped—“ 

I cut him off, “Forget it! Just ring me up…” he simply stared at me, exasperated and utterly confused, “Look, something’s come up, I’m in a hurry. Like a really big fucking hurry. Just cancel the thing and check me out!” 

I saw sweat form on his brow, and normally I would feel bad for the poor kid, but right now I had one thing on my mind. I gave him a death glare while he stammered uselessly, “W-well I can’t just…” 

“… Right fucking now!!” He jumped and seemed to be just sort of mashing buttons in a desperate attempt to cancel out of his current screen. I thrust my credit card in his face and he took it with shaking fingers, ringing me up as fast as his nerves would allow. Yet it still wasn’t nearly fast enough…

The phone was still going off in my hand, seeming to burn white hot, clenched between my clammy fingers, as panic washed through me in nauseating waves.

[Natalie. Question mark. Hello. Question mark. Question mark.]

 The talk to text wasn’t exactly perfect but the meaning behind the words was loud and clear: Every second that went by could mean life or death for him. Had he hurt himself? Did he try to get out of the sink? Didn’t he know he couldn’t bear weight on his leg yet? What if he’d broken it? What if he slipped and hit his head? What if he was bleeding? It was impossible for him to have gotten out right?? There was no way he could’ve taken a tumble from the height of the counter, right?!?!? Oh god!!! 

I tore the receipt from the cashier’s hand and practically sprinted out the automatic glass doors, nearly tripping on a dog treat dispenser on my way out. I didn’t give a shit about the judgmental stares of incoming customers as I crossed the threshold. My boots hit the pavement as I rushed to the car, my panic rising as my imagination ran wild. The second I slipped inside the driver’s seat, and threw the bag of once treasured items like an insignificant sack of potatoes in the seat beside me, with flying fingers I texted back: 

[I’m five minutes away, Alexander. Are you okay?] 

I didn’t wait for a reply and threw it in reverse, scaring a woman carrying a massive bag of cat food half to death as she tried to pass behind me. I glanced down feverishly at the phone screen, as I put the car in drive:

[OBVIOUSLY NOT]

Shit shit shit. I’d only been gone for forty minutes max. What could possibly have happened? At least he was still texting me. 

[I’m almost there. Two minutes.]

I took another turn. The sounds of the road were deafeningly, achingly, too quiet. I wanted that bright, electronic ping.

[Alexander? You there?]

Nothing. 

Then my heart dropped. But no, surely my fears were lying to me… could it be… was something after him? Did maintenance enter my apartment? Was he scared they’d hurt him? Were they harassing him right now? It seemed unlikely, they didn’t normally come without posting a notice first. After all, he’d been able to keep texting up until this point. 

Had something else gotten in that didn’t belong? But no… surely it wasn’t… my neighbor’s, cat? Elvis?? That beast had been after him, ready to kill, the day I’d unknowingly rescued the little man and brought him inside. Had the animal found a way in somehow? Did I leave a window open?? 

As I ran a red light, I realized: the back door. I could’ve left the back door cracked open when we’d come back inside this morning. Tears blurred my vision as I clipped the curb and squealed around a turn. 

Please, please, be okay, Alexander. I’m almost there. Just hold on. 

In fifteen more seconds, I skidded to a stop in the gravel alley of my apartment. In five more, my sweating, shaking hand was wrapped around the doorknob. I was terrified to see what I would find on the other side. 

In the breadth of one heartbeat I thrust open the door. Whatever’s happening to you, Alexander, just hold out for two more seconds, I’m right here. 

I desperately hoped I wasn’t too late. 

#The angry little man is making progress #He's going to be the death of her though #Or at least give her a lot of gray hair #Now I want caldo #A Fraction of Justice #oc:alexander #oc:natalie #g/t community #g/t fluff #g/t angst #g/t writing #giant/tiny #size difference

[ratcatcher0325]

A Fraction of Justice (Chapter #24)

Surprise! Alexander is finally home, but are all the lights on?

So grateful to @not-a-space-alien, @kitn-underfoot, and @thegodmother007 for beta reading yet again!  

Chapter #24. Alexander’s high as shit. That’s it. That’s the chapter.

Previous: Chapter #23

Next: Chapter #25

Word Count: 4,431 Read Time: Approx. 34 mins

CW: adult language, angst, past trauma, vomiting, injury

Tag list: @gatlily @grbene @patrocolus3 @beautifulunknowntrash @titan-god-420 @andraimeide @themarlo @cup-o-chai @lucentbliss @raccoontoaster @tolsizedlove @not-a-space-alien , @thegodmother007, @honey-olive, @bittykimmy13 ,@aceouttatime, @imvenusasaboy, @liminaldaze, @windshield-patent, @joxter-coded, @rosella35, @narrans, @rubeau-art, @littlescaryinternetguy, @jae-from-discord, @kitn-underfoot, @secretly-small, @writing-forever, @iinogongju, @tales-of-aestus, @itsgothgirlthyme

Btw, DM me if you wanna be added to the tag list!

___________________________________

A Fraction of Justice

Chapter #24: High or Hell Water

[Natalie’s POV]

I threw my hand over my mouth trying with every ounce of willpower to keep from laughing at this sudden, hilarious twist. He stared up at me, brows raised, eyes wide. My shoulders shook as I failed to hold back the wave of laughter. He watched me, mouth just slightly open, eyelids halfway shading those normally blazing blue irises. I waited for my verbal attack to begin at any moment. I expected his little voice to raise as his face flushed and he chastised me for making fun of him. But it never came. 

The little nightmare I’d come to know and love, stared up, high above his eye-line to reach my gaze, his expression blank, the muscles in his face slack. Then slowly, slowly, the corners of his mouth twisted into a smile which blossomed into a chuckle, his little teeth flashing bright white. I’d hardly seen him crack a short-lived smirk, let alone heard the sound of his laughter. I realized for the first time he had an adorably crooked smile. The sound of his joy cascaded into my own. He beamed, and his sudden, unexpected delight only made me laugh harder.  We fed off of each other, as I tried to control my body and not jostle him too much, even as my shoulders shook against my will.  

He was splayed out on the surface of my palm, his head, neck and shoulders propped up by my curled fingers. He was beaming, laughing his little head off, his whole body shaking. Fighting to catch his breath, he finally managed to gasp out, “W-what… are we… laughing…about?!” His nose wrinkled as his eyes watered, his face bright red now. 

“You don’t know?!” I fought through my own involuntary chuckles to speak. 

“N-no!!” He shook his head rapidly from side to side, seeming to find his own utter confusion just as funny as I did. His ribcage fluttered as he sank lower in my hand. The poor little drugged up idiot didn’t have the slightest clue! I laughed till I cried, my cheeks burning. Blinking rapidly, I chased those joyous tears away, before descending my fingers down, gently gripping him under his arms and propping him back up against the backrest of my curled fingers. Letting go, I reached out with the pad of my thumb, doing what I’d only ever dared when he was asleep, I brushed his bangs from his eyes and caressed the crown of his head. Sweet, ridiculous, wonderful little man, you have no idea what a relief it is to see you smile. 

He didn’t seem to flinch at my touch. He didn’t snarl or stiffen or pull away. In fact, as he grinned from ear to ear, he leaned his head into my thumb. My heart skipped a beat. The moment I pushed his cascading hair back along the curve of his scalp, though, his boisterous laughter shifted. He was laughing so hard, in spite of himself, that he was starting to choke, “Woah, hey, careful there. You’re experiencing too much unbridled joy at once, your spiteful little body isn’t equipped to handle that!” I smirked, grateful that my past self had thought ahead and filled an unused toothpaste cap with water in case he needed it. I pinched the makeshift drinking vessel between finger and thumb, careful not to spill the tiny amount of water inside, and held it before him. He continued to cough and sputter, as I spoke softly, “Here, drink…” 

He peered up at me with a funny expression that I couldn’t quite place. His eyes were wide and shimmering as he reached for the tiny plastic object. It was still a bit too big for him to grip with just one hand, so as they both wrapped around to take it from me, his left hand pressed against the tip of my thumb. Why did that simple touch from him send a spark of electricity down my nerve endings? Calm down Nat, he’ll be back to his prickly self in a few hours. Well, I’d have to enjoy it while it lasted. 

I let go, allowing him to pluck it from my grip. As soon as he had a good hold of it, he gulped, unapologetically, and drank the whole thing, not even seeming to notice as he spilled some down his chin and onto his pathetic little doll shirt. Passing it back to me, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Poor thing, he must’ve been dehydrated. 

I turned away, briefly, to lean towards my bedside table and put the cap down. When I returned my attention to him, my spine stiffened in surprise. He was crying. Tears no bigger than a pinhead streamed down his cheek like miniature waterfalls. His face was twisted into a frown and his shoulders shook with sobs, “Alexander? What happened? Sweetheart, why are you crying? Did I do something to upset you? Are you in pain? Are you scared? What’s wrong?” 

At each suggestion, he shook his head, eyes blazing as they stared into mine, “N-no…. It’s just…. You’re being so kind to me. You’re under no obligation….” My heart melted in my chest. I had an overwhelming urge to hold him against me and stroke his body with gentle fingers, but he looked ready to burst with something else to say, so I did everything I could to stay still and attentive, as he continued. His voice shook as he spoke, his vision blurred by tears, nevertheless, he tipped his trembling chin and stared directly into my eyes, “…You are the most magnificent creature I’ve ever seen…. the most beautiful light to rival the moon herself. Divinity itself shines brightly upon you, Evenstar. And yet, in all your infinity of being, you cleave to me. A mere mortal, an undeserving nothing by comparison. You owe me nothing at all. I can give you nothing in return for your kindness. And yet to this nothing, you are everything,…” he broke down, burying his head in his hands. I was utterly stunned. That was the last thing I ever expected to come out of his mouth. Who was this grateful, sweet, sensitive little poet and where was Alexander? Did he really feel this way, beneath all his blustering and self-importance? Was this the man behind the mask? Beneath all his venom and frustration, was this the frightened, grateful little man inside, he’d never dared to show me before? I couldn’t help but melt even deeper as my face flushed and my heart beat faster. I only hoped his words were genuine and not as fantastical as they seemed. He still thought I was a fucking elf, after all.  

“Alexander, please don’t cry….. may I touch you and hold you against me?” He dug his fingers into his scalp, as he curled into himself, before shuddering a sigh and nodding ‘yes’. I felt a tightening in my throat at the chance to finally, really hold and comfort him. I tried to ignore the fact that this intimacy was drug induced, as I gingerly plucked him out of my palm and leaned back, draping him against me. I took deliberate care not to position him with any pressure on his injured joint, gently keeping the leg straight by balancing the ball of his little heel on my free finger as I lowered him down. After I’d laid him flat, I rested my thumb over his chest, and the tip of my pointer finger caressed his back and neck. He was propped up on his right side, his injured leg splayed out in front of him, his other bent at the knee. He wriggled his arm loose and let it rest over the crook between my finger and thumb. The moment he landed snuggly on top of me, he nuzzled himself closely against my skin, laying his head on the pillow of my fingertip, his torso hitching just slightly from quiet sobs. I watched him with keen eyes. I was wholly engrossed in this life that fit easily in my palm, as I whispered softly, “You are the farthest thing from nothing. You think I’m somehow significant compared to you? You’ve got no clue how in awe I am of you—“ he shook his head, about to protest, but I didn’t give him the chance, “You are the strongest, smartest, and yes, scrappiest, little man I’ve ever met. You are nothing short of incredible and don’t let anyone, including yourself, forget it…..” As I spoke, he laid his head on my chest, completely relaxed. I felt his full weight against me with each breath in and out. 

Peering down, I could see his eyes dipping closed, in a completely exhausted daze. Okay, enough of that. Just sleep, you’ve more than earned it. Gently, I slid my hand over him, keeping him warm as he drifted off to sleep. “Sweet dreams, little nightmare….” I whispered only to myself. 

I savored every second of this closeness, watching his tiny chest rise and fall, the catch in his breath, the sleepy twitches of muscle in his leg or hand, the way he looked so serene, and comfortable. Poor Alexander. He’d been through more than I could ever imagine, and yet, seemingly through sheer spite, he hadn’t let any of it take him down. That thought made me smirk. Being an angry little ass seemed to work for him so far, but in this moment, curled up beneath my fingers, he didn’t have a care in the world. I just wanted him to have that all the time. 

As I laid in a prone position, warm and relaxed in my bed, I couldn’t help starting to drift as well. I wasn’t the one to endure poking and prodding and scalpels and anesthesia, but I’d still had a pretty exhausting day. Maybe just for a few minutes…. I shut my tired eyes, grateful for the chance to rest. No sooner had I settled in and put my mind at ease, I felt a sudden scrambling beneath my hand. 

I bolted upright, making sure I had a good hold on him and that he had no chance of falling. He was squirming and huffing, digging into my fingers with all his might, my exhausted mind finally processing that he was speaking as well, “…Let go, damn you!!! Let go of me!!! I have to get back!” 

“Woah, woah, what’s wrong Alexander?” I scooped him up under his arms and placed him in a cupped palm. He beat his fists against the fingers that held him, and the moment he was plopped into my hand, he scrambled around looking for an escape route. He was frenzied, panicked, and he paid me no mind. It reminded me exactly of when we’d first met, after he’d fallen into my cupped palm, squirming and hissing before biting me, in a desperate act of self preservation. 

Peering into his wide panicked eyes, I realized that this time he wasn’t scared of me. He, instead, seemed wildly preoccupied with something else entirely. He was moving around so much that I was terrified he was going to bust his stitches. In a split second decision, I pressed a thumb to his chest and pinned him in my hand. He did not like that one bit. He still resisted, kicking his legs and writhing. I had to use my free finger and thumb to pinch his ankles together, “Alexander! Alexander, stop squirming. You’re going to hurt yourself! You don’t need to go anywhere, sweetheart. You need to rest. I’m not trying to scare you, okay? I’ll let you go if you just calm down and tell me what’s going on.” His face pinched, he wrinkled his nose at me and bared his teeth, squirming uselessly beneath my thumb. He didn’t have time to waste explaining things to me, it seemed, “We have a deal or not?” I made my tone a bit more forceful this time. The poor thing jumped. I felt awful for restraining him like this, but what else was I supposed to do? If he hurt himself, it’d be my fault for not looking out for him in this state.

Relenting, his little shoulders drooped, and he nodded ‘yes’. Good to my word, I set him down on the pillow beside me, releasing him entirely from my grip, “Okay. What the hell was that all about?” 

“You don’t understand anything do you? I have to get back to his desk before he wakes up or I’m a dead man. I’ve never abandoned my post. Not in twenty years. Not once. He needs me!” Ahhh, okay. Another hallucination it seemed. This time involving that awful man he’d been pressed into service for. He seemed genuinely terrified of the consequences if he didn’t get to where he thought he should go. Poor thing. No one deserved to live in that kind of fear. Without pausing for air, he kept going, flustered and frightened, “I-I don’t have time for this, I really must go now….” He started to battle the ripples and undulations of the pillow, fighting to slide down to the mattress below. He’d just positioned his legs downward to jump off, when I snatched him up. Oh no you don’t. You’re not putting any weight on that leg on my watch. He shouted and snarled the second I plucked him up. I’m sorry! It’s for your own good!

“Stop it. Alexander listen to me, stop moving and look at me. Did you forget? H-He, uh, sent you to stay with me. He had that last minute trip to…. Italy. Didn’t he tell you?” Would the lie sell? I figured it’d be easier than throttling him into reality, kicking and screaming. His brow furrowed, as he swallowed, considering. His muscles relaxed a bit, as he rested his arms over my thumb, his dangling feet going slack. 

“…. That’s… strange…. He’s never sent me away when he went somewhere before. He always just locks the door and leaves me to ration out enough food and water for myself. Who are you?” 

“Uh, a-a friend… he figured you’d have a hard time caring for yourself with your leg all bandaged up. You really don’t remember?” He shook his head, blinking rapidly, eyes glassy and dazed. Well, he seemed to have bought it. Good. Just relax and stop trying to give me a heart attack. He rubbed his tired eyes with lithe little fingers, propping his elbows on my thumb. I couldn’t begin to imagine how utterly exhausted he must’ve been, especially after all this unnecessary excitement, “Your only job is to rest up right now. So no more trying to run off, okay?”

“You’re certain he isn’t expecting me?” I could feel his nervous heart pounding away against my fingers, “What time is it? He normally requires my services at 5 am sharp!” His chest was fluttering up and down. He’d really gotten himself all worked up. I cringed to think of what sort of punishment he was expecting for this imagined transgression. 

“I’m positive. No one is upset with you. You don’t owe anyone anything. Just, lie down. Can you do that for me?”

His brow furrowed, his lips tightening into a thin, frustrated line, “I feel… very strangely….” I know, you’re so confused and fucked up right now. It’s okay, little man. Turn that brain off and give yourself a break!

“I know. I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can get you?” He cast his eyes askance, before shaking his head, “Here, let me lay you down. Be still. I don’t want any more escape attempts, okay?”

With a little grunt he laid where he was placed on the pillow beside me. I desperately wanted to hold him while he slept, but was afraid of smothering him, or having him wake up in a confused haze thinking I was trying to hold him captive against his will. I pulled up the sheets and draped the edge, more than an adequate blanket for someone his size, over his body as his eyelids got heavy again. I descended a finger to smooth his hair, when he spoke again, voice gravelly and frayed with exhaustion, “Are you angry with me? For trying to leave?” 

“No. No, of course not. You didn’t know any better. You’re not feeling well. I’m not upset in any way, I promise. I just want to keep you safe.” I laid a finger over his chest, resting my hand over him, protectively. 

His head lolled toward me, as he gazed up, sleepily, his tiny body still tense and uncertain, “A-are you sure?? Because—“ 

“Alexander, shhh. Rest. You’re okay. You’re safe….” I closed my eyes for a moment while I relished in the feeling of his body beneath my fingertips. He was warm, soft. His graceful body in all its curves and undulations, thrummed with an electrical current of nervous energy. I bit my lip, my heart in my throat as I managed to choke out the next phrase, “You're where you’re… loved. I…. I…” I opened one eye just a fraction, to find the little man a few inches from me was already fast asleep. His head was turned to face me, his cheek slightly pressed by the fabric of the pillowcase beneath it. His hair was a tangled mess of blonde streaked with darker roots. His mouth was totally slack, as his chest rose and fell with the slow, steady rhythm of sleep. Oh well, probably for the best. “Goodnight, Alexander…” 

I tried my damndest to lay stock still as I watched him sleep with a swelling in my heart. I could’ve stayed here, happily gazing at him and marveling at his every tiny breath, for hours. But it seemed, eventually, exhaustion got the better of me and I was soon out like a light.

************************

I came to, gradually. I felt hot, clammy, pressure closing in on my chest. Where was I? I shifted my weight, but the pressure was ceaseless: not enough to crush me but with very little wiggle room. I felt confused. Lost. Afraid. It was like swimming through pitch black water, trying to find the surface to catch a breath. I didn’t know which way was up. 

That’s when a severe pain shot through my leg and I couldn’t help but cry out between grit teeth, eyes snapping open, as I gasped. Immediately, I felt a change in that hot weight over me, it shifted and moved of its own accord. A voice high above me sounded tense, worried, as something suddenly jolted where I lay, as if someone big was shifting beside me. My eyes stung with nothing to take in but painful, blinding light, as the voice fussed, “Alexander! Did I hurt you? Are you okay, sweetheart? Don’t be scared, alright? There’s nothing to be afraid of, no one’s gonna get you. You’re safe. Just lie back...” 

My ocular lenses adjusted to the garish lamplight left on in an otherwise darkened bedroom. A familiar bedroom. It was Natalie cooing over me. Her voice floated high above my head, her hand rested over my body, finger tips applying pressure to my shoulders to coax me back down. It was her bedsheets I was tangled in. I was suddenly very relieved, but just why, I couldn’t remember. And then, in a sudden rush, it all came flooding back. 

I bolted upright, into a sitting position, batting at her fingers. I didn’t need comfort right now…. I needed to go back there and burn that place to the ground, myself! I growled at her unwelcome touch, struggling to stand up on one working leg. Fighting through the pain, I was barely able to halfway rise before I heard a disapproving cluck of a tongue, timed perfectly with strong, steady fingers sweeping me off my feet. The voice chastised me, as I was suddenly, nauseatingly, flipped onto my back, heels up in the air, “Uh, uh. No. You can’t put weight on it, yet. We just talked about this. Don’t you remember? No more trying to run off. I know you’re still high as a kite so you probably don’t even know what I’m saying right now, but you can’t just leave, sweetheart—” had I woken up before this? If I had, I certainly didn’t remember it. Wait, did she just call me sweetheart?! 

I growled back, teeth snapping, “— No! I can’t just sit here. I have to go back. I have to do something!”

“Alexander, not this again. That horrible old man can’t hurt you anymore, okay? You’re safe here, with me. Whoever you think I am, this time—“ she smirked at me, but I didn’t understand the joke. Her fingertips descended to caress me and I fought them off. Why was she behaving like this? 

“What do you mean? Whoever I think you are? I know who you are! I’m not stupid!”

“Awwww, really? Okay, I’ll play along. Do you think I’m Galadriel this time? I mean, I’d be flattered, she’s pretty cool…” 

What?! I shook my head, unable to make any sense of what she was going on about, “Natalie, stop treating me like I’m out of my mind, you’re embarrassing yourself. And besides, it’s tactless. Now, listen to me, for once you dull creature—“ she pulled me with sudden, sickening force, directly before her. My stomach was tearing itself apart, so every tiny twitch of her muscles rocked me painfully. I didn’t think she was trying to destroy my insides, but her giant movements certainly weren’t helping. In spite of myself, I cried out, bracing against the movement with two hands squeezing into her palm. A wave of nausea hit me like a freight train, as I found myself before two large hazel eyes and the curve of a slender nose. I shuffled to sitting, my good leg bent at the knee where her angled hand tapered off at a 90 degree angle to her wrist, while my injured side stayed out, toes practically brushing the surface of her cheek. 

I leaned forward, placing a hand on either side of her nose, and shook her, doing my best to imitate the human gesture of shaking someone by either side of their face or their shoulders. Sadly, my tiny reach could only stretch so wide, so I settled for the bridge of her nose, while I fixed my gaze on one golden green eye at a time, “Listen to me, Natalie…. You have no idea—“ 

I had barely begun to enlighten her when I fell suddenly and violently ill. I shuddered, wincing. 

“What? What is it? What’s wrong?” She was an overwhelming flurry of motion and heat and too loud and too close. She wasn’t helping my condition at all. 

“I’m… I’m going to be sick…” I could feel the color drain from my face as that horrible nauseating sensation rose from my abdomen and made me gag. I threw a hand over my mouth as my body hitched and writhed.

“Oh! Oh my god! Uh, okay, hold on! Let me get you to the bathroom…. Hang on, y-you’re okay….” Distressed, she hesitated. Wrapping her fingers around me, much too tightly for comfort, she sprang from the bed, trying to rush to the bathroom sink in a flurry of panic. What she didn’t realize was that all that frenetic movement made it impossible for me to beat back the inevitable. 

She was halfway between her bedside and the bathroom threshold, when I squeezed her pinky finger with all my might and shook my head violently, “I… I can’t….” 

Without hesitation, she cupped her free hand at chest level, flush with my body, “I’ve got you, go ahead….” She rubbed my spine with her thumb. 

She wanted me to throw up in her hand? No way! That was disgusting! It was pathetic! I would never lower myself to do such a thing… approximately five seconds later, I did said aforementioned thing. In spite of myself, I squeezed her pinky finger and edge of her palm with both hands, before my body hitched and I lost control of my own stomach, vomiting in her offered palm. 

My ears rang and my whole body shuddered from exhaustion and illness. I felt miserable, not including how profoundly embarrassed I was. I couldn’t make myself look her in the eye, but as she pulled her hand away, she counteracted my mumbled apologies with gentle rubs between my shoulder blades and encouraging words. 

“It’s not a big deal, Alexander. Of course you didn’t feel well, you’re very sick and went through so much and I jostled you around, just now. It’s my fault. I’m so sorry. Don’t be embarrassed. It happens.” As she spoke she carried me to the sink, lowered me down on a hand towel on the bathroom counter and washed her hands. When she was done, she knelt down to the floor, peering at my own neck and chin, before wetting her thumb and cleaning my face with it. I avoided her eyes as she cleaned me up, “You’re clearly in no condition to go anywhere. But, it does seem like the anesthesia wore off and that you’ve got a lot you need to tell me. Can I put you back down where you can be comfortable in the bed and then I’m all yours?” 

With more intentional gentleness and a relaxed gait, she crossed back to the bed and settled me atop the pillow, where I had begun. She propped her head up on an elbow after draping my shoulders with the bedsheet, “Okay. What did you need to tell me?” 

I swallowed hard as I felt the vitriol rise in my nervous system, a sensation that battled for dominance over the excruciating pounding in my head, my rent stomach and my aching leg. I drew in a sharp breath, before gazing up at her. “Natalie. You need to know what happened to me back there.” Her eyes flashed and she set her jaw, a characteristic I’d come to recognize when she had made up her mind about something. 

“If they fucked with you, I’ll help you dig their graves myself–” Her fingers descended around me, curling behind my back, her thumb in my lap. I pushed past my comfort level and rested my hand atop the pad of the digit and squeezed. 

“Okay, then… be ready to grab your shovel…” 

Her lips pressed into a thin line, as her brow furrowed, “Tell me everything, Alexander.” 

#Good morning little nightmare #He's a lil bit out of it you guys #Hold him and love him #He's such a secret softie #oc:alexander #oc:natalie #a fraction of justice #g/t #g/t writing #Giant/tiny #g/t fluff #g/t angst #g/t au #size difference #g/t community

[ratcatcher0325]

A Fraction of Justice (Chapter #25)

🎄🎅Merry Christmas 🎁❄️ to those who celebrate! ☃️🛷Happy Holidays⛷���⛸️ to those who don’t! I hope no matter where you are or what your holidays look like this year, you can let a little love in and relax, just like how Alexander is trying (and maybe failing) to do.

Chapter #25. Alexander does his level best to tell all about his recent misadventures.

Previous: Chapter #24

Next: Chapter #26

Word Count: 4,281 Read Time: Approx. 32 mins

CW: adult language, angst 

Tag list: @gatlily @grbene @patrocolus3 @beautifulunknowntrash @titan-god-420 @andraimeide @themarlo @cup-o-chai @lucentbliss @raccoontoaster @tolsizedlove @not-a-space-alien , @thegodmother007, @honey-olive, @bittykimmy13 ,@aceouttatime, @imvenusasaboy, @liminaldaze, @windshield-patent, @joxter-coded, @rosella35, @narrans, @rubeau-art, @littlescaryinternetguy, @jae-from-discord, @kitn-underfoot, @secretly-small, @writing-forever, @iinogongju, @tales-of-aestus, @itsgothgirlthyme, @make-me-giant

Btw, DM me if you wanna be added to the tag list!

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A Fraction of Justice

Chapter #25: Give a Little

[Alexander’s POV]

She stared at me earnestly, her fingers leaving warm impresses along my spine and in my lap as she gently supported my weight. I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that she meant what she said: she genuinely wanted to listen to me.

This was… a novel sensation. I felt the slightest tightening in the back of my throat as I considered it. She was perched just above me, her hair cascading in waves down her shoulders as she regarded my comparatively small person, cradled between her fingers and thumb. I shifted around beneath her touch, feeling hesitant but eventually resting my hands atop her thumb (there was nowhere else to comfortably place them as her largest digit had commandeered the better part of my lap). This was all a bit too intimate for my tastes, but I supposed it was a small price to pay for having her rapt attention. 

I allowed myself the small risk of leaning my weight on her fingers behind me, releasing all resistance to gravity from my muscular system. In spite of myself, I had to admit that simply relaxing felt wonderful… there was a part of me, I couldn’t believe such a part existed, that wanted to forget about the living hell that was the veterinary clinic and simply luxuriate in rest, right here. 

But of course, there was no time for such ridiculous indulgences. I had to seize the moment while I actually had a human willing to hear me. Surely she would grow complacent and disinterested over time. I had to strike while the iron was hot. 

As I craned my neck to take her in, the tension in her jaw, her furrowed brow and hard eyes told me just how defensive she was over me. Not that I needed her to protect me… nor particularly cared how she felt. Why did I feel the sudden need to shift beneath her thumb again to compose myself? I tried to ignore whatever it was and  tilted my gaze upwards to lock on to those warm irises. 

I cleared my throat and stacked my spine, ready to confide in the one human I could at least somewhat trust. She gazed back into my eyes, and I could practically feel the anticipatory worry coming off of her in waves. Get ready for your blood to boil, Natalie…

“Well?? I’m holding my breath over here… I can’t ever get you to shut up and now is the time you decide to go silent??” She pressed the pads of her fingers against me as she stared, hungrily awaiting the news. 

“Oh, alright! Calm down! I’m getting to it! You humans, always so demanding! You want what you want and you want it NOW. Have some patience and decorum will you???” I huffed, crossing my arms over my chest as I jutted my chin in defiance. But as I gazed into her irises and felt the soft warmth of her hand surrounding me, I burst into a grin in spite of myself. 

She couldn’t help but bite her lip and roll her eyes, “Is being shitty to me like the way you get life force or something? I liked you better when you were all cute and high off your ass—“ 

“Excuse me? When I was what?” 

“Nothing, don’t worry about it… tell me what happened!” 

“Fine! We’ll put a pin in that then…” I eyed her disapprovingly as I prepared myself to tell all, “Well, from the moment she took me away, it was simply reprehensible! You disappeared behind the door and they carried me off and… they were so infuriatingly condescending! They spoke to me like a petulant child, while poking and prodding. I kept demanding that they treat me and was flatly ignored. I have abrasions and bruising along my obliques from the pressure of their fingers….” I watched as her eyes got wide and her brow furrowed in concern. Her fingers moved in just a millimeter or two closer, as if she could shield me from what had already happened, “They were awful, especially the one with the black hair—“ I couldn’t help but clock the almost involuntary twitch of her brow as I spoke, “She, in particular, had a penchant for cruelty. Her male counterpart was stupid more than anything else. The other woman, she was kind. She kept doing her best to advocate for me, but to no avail….” 

“Alexander… I’m, I’m so incredibly sorry. I should never have taken you there. I-I didn’t know!” I was hardly listening to her, however, as a sinking feeling permeated my every muscle, “H-hey…. Hey, earth to Alexander…. Hello? What’re you… why are you 1000-yard-staring right now like you’ve just seen a ghost?” 

“Hm? S-sorry… it’s just… it’s nothing… where was I? Yes…. The woman with the glasses. She seemed compassionate but she was weak and low down in the pecking order so it did me no good. I… I remember her, the black haired one, pinning me down to take a picture of me… I ran… she grabbed me. The pain was unfathomable… and then… well… it was dark for a while? I had tubes coming out of my mouth. I remember my heart racing and…. I was lying down and I couldn’t breathe. They held me down and stuck a needle in my arm… I…. I was in a lot of pain, I think….”

She paused for a long while, “… You... think? Um, look I don’t know how to say this delicately, without you getting pissed off at me… but it sounds like, while they were very very condescending and disrespectful of you, which, to be clear is fucking awful… they didn’t technically do anything legally wrong… you made it sound like there was hell to pay. Please, don’t misunderstand, I am more than happy to file complaints for negligence… I just don’t think it’ll result in anything more than a slap on the wrist without stronger evidence. And… please don’t scream at me, but I don’t think them teasing you counts as grounds for litigation…” she winced as she spoke, no doubt expecting me to berate her, but her words were the least of my concern.

My mind was a blur. My heart thundered in my chest as she spoke. I was certain something particularly awful had happened… something unforgivable. But the sequence of events vaporized in my mind’s eye… like a candle snuffed out, leaving behind only a wisp of silvery smoke where vibrant heat and light should be. A sinking feeling emerged in the pit of my stomach. 

“Did they administer the wrong drug, like you were afraid of?  Were there clear signs of malpractice?”

“Yes! There were!” 

“Okay, like what?”

“I am certain there were!! I just… um…” I stared up at her, wide eyed and blinking like an imbecile, panic rising ever so rapidly in me.

“You don’t remember do you?” She looked crestfallen as she spoke. 

I grit my teeth, snarling, “Don’t say that! I do! Of course I remember! I always remember! I have an infallible memory. I just… have to think…”

“Alexander? Hey….” The pad of a thumb tucked under my chin, but I pulled away and stared at the lines in my hands, refusing to meet her gaze. Her persistence was beginning to irritate me. Didn’t she know a man who needed to gather his thoughts in peace when she saw one? She continued, undeterred “…there’s no shame in forgetting. They put you under, it messes with your memory. I… and don’t get mad at me for saying this, but… I could tell you were scared when she took you away. Is it possible your fear of what could’ve happened is what you’re calling to mind?” 

Her thumb pressed into my cheek and I squirmed to avoid her, “Stop it! Stop with the coddling, I don’t need it! When have I ever asked you to caress me? Please, I'm trying to recall something very important and all you’re doing is distracting me! And what sort of a question is that? Are you accusing me of making things up?? I know my own mind. If I felt like that, something must have happened…” 

She seemed taken aback, “I’m sorry! Look, if you say something happened, I believe you. All I want is for you to know I’m on your side, that I care about you and that I want you to feel better. I mean, look, I want to kill them already for being shitty and cruel to you. That’s seriously fucked up. I’m not trying to condescend to you, just to comfort… and, for the record, I’ve never once called you weak…” she leaned in closer, a finger tip gliding over the crown of my head. I didn’t like her dominating over me like this. It was a mockery of my very stature. I couldn’t help but burst.

“Now is not the time to get defensive! Please, allow me to focus for a singular moment on the task at hand! And stop with all the petting, it’s simply maddening!” I batted at her fingers, my hair falling wildly in my eyes. 

She whisked her hand away, it was suddenly at least twenty degrees cooler as the current of air generated from the movement of her arm cooled my skin. I had to catch myself with my hands pressed into the soft fabric of the bedsheets to keep from falling flat. Her eyes were hardened, glassy. 

She tucked one arm beneath the other as she leaned on the bed, suddenly distant, hurt, “Goddammit, Alexander, I’m doing everything I can think of to be supportive. Okay? You act above it all and like you fucking hate me but I know that’s not true. So please stop it. Let me show you some love and support. I’m just trying to be kind. It’s not gonna kill you to be touched or taken care of….” 

“Look, Natalie… I don’t have time to address your wounded pride and I’m not interested in having an argument right now about your violation of my personal space—“ 

“—violation? You didn’t act that way when you were high off your ass an hour ago. You loved it when I held you. You leaned into the warmth of my hand and cuddled against me.  What’s changed now? Just that you feel like you have something to prove and it’s you versus the whole world? Hm? Is that it? Because it doesn’t have to be like that. Don’t you see that now? I’m right here, Alexander, and I want to help.” 

What on earth was she talking about?! Yet another thing I was apparently incapable of recalling. I burned. This wasn’t fair, none if it was… I knew I’d been through something excruciating and I was determined to get to the bottom of it, but, instead, I had to listen to this human blubber on about how she couldn’t play with me like a doll as much as she desired. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. 

She didn’t like that seemingly at all, “Hey! You have no idea what it was like for me in that waiting room. I was terrified for you. And they kept telling me all this shit about how your leg was broken and surgery was the only option. I kept asking and asking to see you, just to hold you in my hands and know you were okay and they told me you were fine. They kept shooting down my questions, assuring me… That you were better off in the back, so you’d stay calm… b-but I guess you weren’t. They were torturing you and I was just sitting there in the other room! You were terrified and I wasn’t there to help! That breaks my heart. Do you realize that? I’m sorry, okay? If, if I made the wrong decision… If you’re angry with me…. I understand. I do. It’s all my fault that they frightened you because I hand delivered you to them. I never meant to hurt you, Alexander. Please believe me. Hate me all you want, okay, because I’m not turning my back on you. I won’t stop looking out for you even if you hate my guts. I’d never do that… b-but I have to know, do you really not give a fuck at all about me? Because just a little while ago, you said some things… that, that made it sound like you don’t totally hate me. You seemed to enjoy me treating you with softness. I just want to know if that’s true because I…. I care about you… okay? I do. And not just in a shitty condescending or possessive way, like you always accuse me of. You’re not mine to own. I know that. You’re your own man. You’re here by accident. You never asked for this… or me. I see you, Alexander. I know you’re a person who’s trying so hard to make something of himself in spite of the odds. So, please, please let me in a little, will you? I promise, all I want is to help.” 

I paused for a moment, taking it all in, beneath a furrowed brow and tight jaw, before meeting her gaze. She wanted to help, did she? Was it possible that I could trust her with my long term aspirations? Would she listen with respect if I told her I had plans to change the world, rather than laugh in my face? Would she really dedicate herself to helping me parse out this case currently before us? I felt a twinge of possibility stir in my soul… a ray of hope ignite the blood in my veins.

 Her huge golden brown eyes were on the verge of tears, and I couldn’t help but release the tension in my shoulders, relenting. With a sigh, I spoke to her, softly, with consideration, “Okay, alright. Come here…. Give me your hand…” I stretched out my arms, inviting her to bring her fingers closer. I couldn’t exactly get up and come to her after all.

 She hesitated, giving me a distrustful and quizzical look as if to question wether this was a trap. I gestured hurriedly for her to move her hand before me, “C’mon, closer. I won’t bite… this time, I promise…” I couldn’t help smirking in the crooked way I tended to do, which had always been rather embarrassing for me. She inched ever closer until the pad of her middle finger was before my lap. I cupped it with my right hand, the full width of it barely fitting between my fully outstretched fingers, as my left hand came to rest on her nail bed. I stroked her nail a few times, “There, there… is this what you needed?”  She stared at me, her face twitching, before she burst into laughter. I was shocked, what was so funny?? 

****************  That was truly the most awkward attempt at comfort I’d ever seen! He was just sort of stiffly petting my nail bed while looking rather uncomfortable himself. My body shook with laughter, “You poor little bastard!!” I wasn’t even angry or hurt anymore. How could I be? His face turned a bright shade of red as he stared with sharp eyed intensity, truly baffled, “Your comfort game needs a little work, sweetheart!” I started crying I was laughing so hard. 

“W-what?? I thought…” he blubbered wordlessly. 

“Oh my god, you tried, little robot. You really did. D-don’t worry, we’ll find a heart to put in that hollow tin exterior some day!” I gently rubbed his chest with a finger. It was surprisingly warm for such a cold-blooded little nightmare. 

I expected him to get huffy and double down but when I looked at him, he couldn’t help but smile, in spite of himself, “I’m no tin man, I’m a gallant romantic who’s interpersonal skills are unmatched, thank you. But nice quasi-sophisticated literary reference, I didn’t realize you could read!” 

“Oh, shut up!” 

“What? You seemed to think it completely acceptable to express your surprise when you discovered I was literate!” 

“Okay, okay! Touché! I’m waving the white flag! I get it, little man, I can never match you in a game of wits. But none of that changes the fact that you can sometimes be a little prick who needs to learn how to relax and accept a little physical contact every now and again.” 

“Never! I’ll never surrender! You can’t make me! I refuse! Now, please, be quiet so I can follow my own train of thought….” With that, he flopped back on the bed, his arms folded over his abdomen while he stared up at the ceiling. I waited quietly, trying my best to be patient, passing the time by watching the rise and fall of his tiny chest, as I matched the tide of his breathing with my own. 

He was like a statue, stock still, unmoving. The only way I could tell he was a living breathing thing was that his eyes occasionally blinked. He lay there like that for five, ten, fifteen minutes, then finally, and almost so quiet I could barely hear, “Damn it all…” 

“Nothing?” 

“I remember the fear, the pain. The odd and terrifying shapes of hands looming overhead. I remember the hazy buzz of conversation and trying really hard to read…. Something. But just what that something was—? My mind is suddenly a blank. I’m so exhausted, Natalie. That’s all. My psyche is stretched so thin….” He rolled his head to look at me, as I leaned over him with my chin resting on my hands. 

“Then sleep, you ridiculous little thing. The mystery to solve won’t go anywhere in the next few hours.” I wanted so badly to caress his little chest and gently rub his scalp, but I resisted with all my strength of will, keeping my twitchy hands to myself.  

He stiffened at the suggestion, “N-no…. I can’t just rest. I can’t lose all my momentum…” 

“You also can’t solve a case if you’re dead from overexertion. You’ve had one hell of a day, give yourself a fucking break. And when you wake up, we’ll put our heads together and figure this out, okay? For whatever fucking reason, in spite of you being an angry little ass most of the time, I’m still gonna stand by you, even though you’re my—“ 

“--Little nightmare, I know…” his eyes were half closed as he huffed and rolled them toward the ceiling, before training them on me. Even in all his grogginess, his gaze was breathtakingly blazing behind those sleepy lids, “You are aware that any and all proposals for atrocious and ridiculous nicknames have to pass through the house…” he sleepily pointed to me, “…and the senate, yes?” He pointed to himself, before continuing, “That means your coining of me as such is not likely to be codified into law.” 

I couldn’t help but scoff, as I joked, “You’re half asleep and you still somehow manage to be a dick. You’re lucky you’re cute…” 

“I take issue with that…” he shook his head and crossed his arms, the ghost of a smirk barely hidden. 

“You take issue with fucking everything. Go to bed, Alexander!” I wanted to kiss him on the head and tuck him in. Instead, I pushed up from the mattress, planning to give him some space to sleep, but before I could even gather my feet beneath me, he halted my movements.

“Wait, one last thing….” His sleepy eyes opened partially, enough for me to peek at the brilliant blue beneath them. 

“No, nope, I’m not getting tricked into another insult before bed. Sleep! I like you better when you’re conked out. I’m just saying, when you were loopy you were so cuddly and sweet. Now you’re back to griping and grumbling…” 

He shook his head from side to side, his right arm stretching out toward me, “I have one favor to ask…” 

“I know, you want me to leave you the fuck alone, I’m going, okay? As someone once said to me recently, have some patience and decorum!” I started to shift again and his words froze me in place.

“Will you hold me, while I sleep?” 

I just about melted into the carpet fibers. He smirked that little crooked smile of his that I’d seen so very rarely. 

He raised his brows, no doubt taking in my bright red blush and hitching gasp. He smiled teasingly, staring up at me through his brow in a way that made me melt even more, “Don’t look too excited about it or I’ll change my mind…” 

I was breathless, sinking back down on to the surface of the bed, I let a single finger descend to brush his hair from his tired eyes, “Is that what you really want? You won’t be pissed at me later?” 

“As you say, I’m always pissed about something. I’ll find something you’re doing wrong, don’t worry…..” I hesitated, lifting my finger and inch or so off of his body, “But yes, I’d like you to. Just hurry… it’s hard to stay awake right now, answering this monotonous battery of questions….” My heart skipped a beat, or two, or three, as he smirked again, his eyelids getting heavier and heavier. 

“O-okay…. If this is what you want, I’ll be so careful, I promise… come here, Alexander…”

Very very gently, I dug my fingers into the fabric beneath him, and scooped him up, supporting his head with the pad of my thumb, and very carefully cradled the heel of his injured leg beneath the tip of my free finger, as I had done only a little while ago while he was out of it. See? You can be sweet… it won’t kill you… “You’re going to remember and we’ll get this all sorted out… but in the mean time, I’ve got you, little nightmare… sweet dreams…” 

***************  The moment her warm fingers rose to press softly into my spine, my hips, my shoulders…. I felt my heart race a little faster. I kept my eyes closed and stayed limp, but inside I was electrically charged with feeling. 

Had I ever asked to be cradled in the hand of a human before? I didn’t think so. Yet, here, in the crook of her palm, I felt things I never thought were possible in the presence of someone so large and foolish: I felt safe, warm, and, dare I say it, contented to be there. 

I was crushed by my current gaps in memory recall at the moment. I wanted more than anything to bring those maniacs to justice as swiftly and aggressively as possible. However, at the present, such proof eluded me. Yet, somehow, I believed her when she said with confidence that we’d figure it out. 

We. 

What a funny little personal pronoun. One I’d hardly ever considered all the days of my life. For once, the human was right. I did see myself as one man against it all. Maybe there was some validity to what she’d said next, that it didn’t have to be that way. I trembled at the thought. I was getting far too ahead of it all and only setting myself up for disappointment and misery when she inevitably let me down…. Wasn’t I? 

A whisper stirred my eyelids open and I peered up at the woman gazing down at me, “Alexander?”

Her voice was soft, the consonants of my own name rustling my hair as her breath cascaded over my prone body. I raised a brow, too sleepy to move anything else, “Th-Thank you, for… letting me in a little bit…” she seemed as though she wanted to say more, but kept it to herself. 

After a moment, where I almost dipped out of consciousness right then and there, I rolled over my left shoulder, outstretching my arms, and hugged her thumb to my chest. The tip of that strong, imposing digit, that was almost as big as me, was aligned directly with my face. I pressed my cheek into it, feeling the heat and rhythm of her pulse beneath, “Is this what you wanted? Is this what high Alexander would do which you seemed to love so much??” 

She beamed, holding me ever closer beneath her sparkling gaze, “You’re recreating it so perfectly, fantastic job!” She was truly beside herself, I could tell. I could feel her heart racing beneath my cheek, after all. 

I smiled, as grogginess, coupled now with unrelenting softness and warmth from her skin, took hold of what little consciousness I had left, “I demand to know just what exactly I did that left you so ridiculously enamored while under the influence…. You’d better tell me when I awake!” 

“Not in a million years! I know you, little nightmare. The second I tell you, you won’t speak to me for at least a week.” 

“I think I can handle anything you can throw at me. Get out of the habit of underestimating me!” 

“Sweetheart, I know you can do anything you set your mind to, but, believe me, when I say I think I’m estimating your capacity for this quite accurately!” 

“Mmmm, that bad huh?” 

“Go to sleep, Alexander. I’ll be right here when you come to.” 

“I demand satisfaction upon waking. I will not waver on this.” 

“Uh huh… now, hush.” 

“...Goodnight, Natalie….” 

“Goodnight, Alexander… Sweet dreams.” 

And slowly, as I seemed to sink ever deeper into the warm, silky surface of her cupped palm, I drifted off to sleep, held aloft by the first human I’d ever actually wanted, at least at certain intervals, to touch me. 

Tomorrow I’d work to bring destruction to my enemies, but tonight, I’d give myself the gift of rest…. And what a glorious gift it was! 

#He will burn it with fire but first... nap time #Let him revenge #we love soft holding here #oc:alexander #oc:natalie #a fraction of justice #g/t community #g/t writing #Giant/tiny #g/t fluff #size difference

[ratcatcher0325]

A Fraction of Justice (Size Switch AU)

What if Alexander and Natalie suddenly switched sizes?

This is just a fun little one off to explore these two and their dynamic a bit more. I promised you guys this, forever ago, for hitting a new follower milestone and now it’s finally here! 

I have to thank a million times over @not-a-space-alien, @kitn-underfoot, @sizechaun, & @littlescaryinternetguy for beta reading for me and giving me some amazing feedback! 

**Please let me know if you’d like to be added to the tag list**

This is a size switch AU story of Alexander, a well-dressed, silver-tongued miniature person, who’s highly intelligent (perhaps, too much for his own good). He has aspirations of becoming the world’s tiniest lawyer. When he meets Natalie, will she help or hinder his progress?

Set in a universe where miniature people (around 5 inches tall) are kept as pets for the rich, this story follows one very tiny, academically minded man, who, after enduring abuse at the hands of the ignorant humans around him, becomes hell bent on finding a way to fight this oppression through the legal system. Will his case win out? He has to get humans to listen first. When he finds himself out allied with one, will she finally be the first to hear his message?

A mixture of fluff and angst, mature (Language, adult themes and violence) but SFW. This story uses the pet trope as a means to explore themes of overcoming trauma and fighting back against abuse, as well as learning to love oneself.

Word Count: 9,264 Read Time: Approx. 70 mins

CW: adult language, angst, fear play, dehumanization, non-sexual nudity

Tag list: @gatlily; @grbene; @patrocolus3; @beautifulunknowntrash; @titan-god-420; @andraimeide; @themarlo; @cup-o-chai; @lucentbliss; @raccoontoaster, @tolsizedlove; @not-a-space-alien; @thegodmother007; @honey-olive; @kitn-underfoot; @bittykimmy13; @littlescaryinternetguy; @pr-fae; @theangelofdusk; @sizechaun; @rubeau-art; @awkwardgtace; @jae-from-discord; @narrans; 

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A Fraction of Justice: Not all that Blisters (Size Switch AU) 

[Alexander’s POV]

I was lying prone on my stomach, deep in a tantalizing sleep. It was, in fact, some of the best sleep I’d gotten in some time. Natalie and I had been burning the candle at both ends helping her prepare for an upcoming exam. While she had retired to her bedroom around 3 am, I’d insisted on staying in the living room, surrounded by open tomes, and a tablet for doing research. I’d wanted to master one last sample case study before getting some rest myself. 

Evidently, I’d passed out in that endeavor, no doubt splayed out on my stomach, lying on top of her open textbook. Not much for a bed in the comfort department, but nevertheless, come dawn, I was out cold. On a different morning than this one, I could imagine a better rested Natalie rubbing the sleep from her eyes and shuffling into the living room, ignited with inviting, golden, morning sun, only to wake me with her bemused chuckling, finding me unconscious, curled up on the surface of her book. 

Instead, this morning was distinctly different. 

There were no peals of uncontrolled laughter or the caressing of giant fingers on the crown of my head to wake me from my dreamless sleep. No, I was bolted awake, instead, as I shuffled my leg slightly. One small shift of my weight and I was greeted with a sudden, heart stopping CRASH of a hardback colliding with the wood floor beneath. Had I been more awake, I would have questioned how on earth the shifting of my meager few ounces could have possibly made such a reaction happen. Since my brain did not have the capacity for such critical thinking in its unexpected and sudden state of consciousness, I instead grunted, snapping open my eyes as I pressed my palms into the ground beneath me, and lifted my head. 

Like encountering a sudden step down when walking, my hands were jarred by feeling a variance of textures beneath them. Instead of the consistent, flat surface of the page I was expecting, my hands rested on the rough edges of paper, and the fabric of the couch, which seemed suddenly much more pliable beneath my weight than I’d previously remembered. Similarly, as feeling returned to the rest of my body, I was shocked to find myself lying on what felt like all manner of other books and fabric. 

Incapable of understanding what I was feeling, my eyes adjusted to the painfully bright light of the unfiltered morning sun. I squinted, shielding my sensitive irises and blinking rapidly. Slowly, the world came into sharp focus. 

Why is the arm of the couch so close? I could’ve sworn when I’d surrendered to sleep I’d been at least two feet (in human measurements) from the wall it created compared to my little body. Now, my nose was so near to bumping it I could feel the tickle of its fibers on the sensitive nerve endings. In fact, as I raised my trunk to greet this corner of the living room (the same space in which I’d first found myself when Natalie had accidentally brought me inside) everything seemed somehow different? Smaller? Was I experiencing delirium from pushing myself too hard these last few days? Tucking my left leg under me to try and sit up, I felt all manner of obstacles shifting beneath my weight. That’s the first time I looked down. I couldn’t believe what my eyes were undeniably showing me. 

I was not just lying on the singular textbook. No. The pages that used to stretch on and on around me, each about four times as large as my whole body, were now dwarfed by my outstretched palms. Two hands side by side could cover the surface of a page with ease. My heart stopped. No way!!! This couldn’t be possible. It was simply, logically, out of the question. Wasn’t it?!? Beneath my legs, other books, the tablet, the cushions of the couch, all of these were touched by my outstretched form. My entirely nude form. 

Then, down below on the surface of the textbook, a wrinkled scrap of multicolored fabric caught my eye. Reaching down, I pinched it between a thumb and forefinger, raising it to eye level. Adrenaline coursed through my nervous system as blood pounded in between my ears. It was undeniable. I laid it out in the palm of my hand. It was ripped apart along all the seams, but the front was still somewhat in tact. That damn unicorn decal, sickeningly cheery as ever, was now half the size of my thumbnail. 

Somehow, inextricably I was…. Human sized. 

My heart soared as I bounded to my feet, rocked by this completely different perspective. Everything was so pathetically small. As I stood, I couldn’t help ducking my head, as though I was large enough to collide with the ceiling itself. 

To any human, I was now unremarkably normal. To me, I felt like a giant. Furniture that had once towered over me like empty monuments of wood, fabric and metal to the prestige and supposed superiority of humankind, now seemed laughably unimpressive. As I turned my head, I could take in so much more of the room at once, with effortless ease. Gazing back down at the mess of clutter left scattered across the couch, I bent at the waist and with a thrilling rush, actually picked up a book for the first time in my life. 

Cradling its spine in my right hand, I leafed through pages with nothing but a tiny bit of pressure from my fingers. My face felt warm as my heart thundered away. The tome I couldn’t have pushed an inch if I’d put my back into it, was now an insignificant weight in my palm. I felt a catch in my throat. Was this what it felt like to occupy a world that was built to accommodate you? 

I turned over my shoulder to look at the potted rose bush, still sitting before the window by the front door, just as Natalie had set it down that day I was tangled in its branches. Setting the book down, I limped over until I was standing before it. The whole plant that I had once hidden inside of, now barely came up past my thighs. It was disorienting seeing these things from such a different perspective. So many tiny details of the plant faded and blurred from this new vantage point. I made my way back to the couch, sitting down on it properly for the first time in my life, I picked up a book again. Still thrilled by the sensation of being able to do so. 

Before I could delve too much more into my emotions, however, the sound of an alarm clock blaring from across the apartment pricked my ears. Natalie! For a moment I’d forgotten her completely. But now, I realized with embarrassment, I was sitting, stark naked in her home. I needed to alert her to this miraculous change! 

I wouldn’t begin to batter my brain with the impossible implications of how this had come to be…. Not yet. I would indulge in the pure ecstasy of it having happened first. Tucking the book under one arm, clutching the pathetic little scrap of fabric that had once fit over my whole body and snatching up a throw pillow to cover myself, I took steps towards Natalie’s bedroom. 

The vertigo of walking through this space was akin to arriving on land after weeks at sea. The disorientation was nausea inducing. My body, mind, and senses were all adjusting to a very different world all at once. I caught my shoulder on the threshold of the kitchen from the living room, as I heard Natalie snooze her voice activated alarm. Well, I couldn’t hear her voice but the tinny buzzing had ceased. I stopped for a moment before the pantry door, pushing it open with light pressure from the back of my hand. 

The motion-censored light ignited with a distinguishable click as I stood there, gawking at the very same structure I had fought so dutifully to climb, injuries and all. Where I had been found by her. Loomed over by her. Picked up and manhandled. Where I had bit her and she’d dropped me. All of that had taken place in this cramped, dusty little hole of a pantry? No wonder she’d chuckled when she watched me cling for dear life to the edge of the shelf that, at the time, felt so impossibly high. Now, that same white wooden slat didn’t even rise past my shin. I palmed the stupid little doll shirt again, utterly amazed. 

Shaking it off, I ventured forward, toward Natalie’s room. Pressing into her partially closed door, I whispered sharply, unsure if she’d tried to go back to sleep, “Natalie! You wont believe this!” It was still loud enough that it should have caught her half conscious attention. 

Pushing the door open, I could now see into the room: the comforter undulating in peaks and valleys that would have been climbable only last night. But as I scanned the full breadth of the mattress, I saw no shock of dark, wavy hair. No olive arms or feet peeking out from between the cascading sheets. The bed, as far as I could tell, appeared to be empty. 

“N-Natalie? Are you awake?” Perhaps she was in the bathroom? I didn’t want to startle her if she needed her privacy. I was, after all, now the size of a human man just standing, barely covered in her most private space. I wondered with a thundering heart what it would be like to behold her, human to human. Would she be shorter than me? Given the average differences between male and female bodies, it was highly likely. The thought made me chuckle in spite of myself. Still, when I turned to look, the bathroom light was off and the door was only cracked by a quarter. My brow furrowed. Where was she? I called out again, suddenly worried for a reason I couldn’t clearly articulate.

************* 

I groaned, feeling pissed and immediately in a ticked off mood. How could someone so little be so fucking loud all of a sudden? 

Up until a few minutes ago, I’d been totally conked out, warm and so, so comfortable in bed. When my alarm went off, I didn’t even bother opening my eyes. The world could wait. I needed sleep, goddammit! I’d just settled back in to catch some more Z’s when Alexander started vying for my attention. 

Last I knew, he’d been in the living room. It’d made me sad to go to bed without him near but I knew what picking fights over stuff like that would get me, so I shut up about it. I wanted to spare myself the earful. After retiring to bed, I’d just assumed he’d fallen asleep on the couch. Come morning, I was looking forward to sleeping in for a little longer before waking him up with the smells of breakfast. 

Instead, here he was whispering louder than I thought possible for someone with the lung capacity of a mouse. Also, how had he managed to crawl into my bed to be so near me in the first place? That was the only reason I could explain to myself why his voice seemed to be so much louder than I was used to. I wondered, with a sluggish mind, if the comforter had trailed close enough to the floor and he’d climbed up. Honestly? That’s impressive, little man! You just really wanna be close to me all of a sudden? That thought made me happy. But then his voice seemed to boom directly overhead, which, how? I clamped my eyes shut, rolling over and groaning. Be quiet, Alexander! 

“Natalie?? Natalie where— oh….” 

Before I could ask him nicely to shut the fuck up if it wasn’t an emergency, cold air rushed all around me and light suddenly flooded in, as though the roof had been ripped off of the building. What the fuck?! 

Utterly confused, I shot up, eyes adjusting from their groggy state. When my vision came to, all I could see looming over me, backlit from the sun filtering in through my windows behind was… a… a… MONSTER!!!

It was something… vaguely person shaped but too big…. much much too big for that to be possible. My mind was unable to reason, unable to problem solve or think rationally. I could not comprehend that the familiar voice I’d just heard and this monstrosity, this silhouetted something were one and the same. 

The second I laid eyes on whatever it was, I screamed at the top of my lungs and scrambled to get as far away as I possibly could. Barely able to rise to my feet on the surface of the confusingly unsteady sheets, I suddenly realized it wasn’t just the monster that was huge.. so was my bed! My attempts to stand resulted in me taking in the oceanic scale of my mattress, which seemed to stretch onward all around me: the wrinkles in the sheets, like undulating but motionless waves. 

I trembled, also recognizing that I was completely naked, the folds of my pajamas now rising and falling beneath my feet. I was shivering from head to toe, but wether that was from cold or pure fear, I couldn’t tell. My limbs were quaking against my will, as I felt a tightening in my chest. It was nearly impossible for me to focus on any one thing for any period of time, my head was on fire and my eyes twitched, trying to take in the sheer monstrous scale of everything around me. My bedroom ceiling soared above me in some atmospheric blur, the walls Ising in the distance like some man-made Grand Canyon. I shook my head wishing I could block all of this out. As my heart thundered against my ribcage, I couldn’t take this feeling of being trapped and in mortal danger like some frightened little animal, I scrambled as fast as I could, falling all over myself, when I heard a voice, distant but all too loud, crash into my ear drums. 

“Woah, woah Natalie! Calm down! It’s just me…” as the words rattled my skull, an inky shadow like some carnivorous bird of prey circling overhead, cast out the light above me as a palm came crashing down directly in my path. I tried my best to halt and turn on my heel but ended up colliding directly with the wall of flesh. 

Caught with nowhere to run, I pressed into his palm, pathetically attempting to cover myself as I craned my neck high, high above, while the voice continued, “…It’s Alexander.” I could feel his chuckle reverberate through his palm that I was now stuck to like an insect on flypaper, “You don’t recognize me?” 

My heart stuck in my throat. It was him. Those piercing blue eyes were unmistakable. But he was huge!!! So completely, overwhelmingly huge! His bare chest rose and fell to the tide of his breathing. I couldn’t wrap my brain around how big each of those lungs had to be. He was almost silhouetted by the light from the window but I could see his sharp jaw, his cascading bangs, his furrowed brow and tense lips. Fuck, fuck fuck! I was so small now, so defenseless and vulnerable. For so long Alexander had wanted to tear me limb from limb for condescending to and manhandling him. Well… now he could if he wanted to. I shook from head to toe, trapped with nowhere to run. 

*******

She cowered against me. I had no idea what to do with her. She was clearly quite frightened. Welcome to every day of my entire life. I’d had this fantasy a million times in my rage-addled brain: I’d pored over just how to get back at her for the million infuriating moments she’d made for me in my time here. Let’s see how you’d like it being bandied about and dropped and trapped and prodded all day long. For going on decades now, I had thirsted for power over those who’d mistreated me. 

My gaze fixed on her outstretched hand, pressing firmly into the flesh of my palm. Bending a bit at the waist, I reached towards her with inquisitive fingers. She screamed when I pinched her wrist between finger and thumb, but I hardly noticed. I was fixated on the limb I now held captive. So small. Is this what I had been? Is this what I looked like to them? To humankind? With bones so tiny and delicate it looked like a stiff wind could break them? Her entire cranium was no larger than the pad of my index. Her outstretched hand, one I had been held in countless times, now hardly stretching over a nail bed. I heard nothing but the blood pounding in my own ears as I marveled at how inexplicably strange this all was. 

“ALEXANDER! PLEASE!! You’re hurting me!!” I snapped to, looking down to see I still had her wrist trapped between my fingers, and that in my analysis of her newfound form, I had, absentmindedly, lifted her off of the surface of the bed. She weighed practically nothing at all! She was twisting and writhing, face a bright red, her toes desperately searching for the ground just fractions of a millimeter out of reach. She was staring directly at me. Tears streamed down her cheeks, and in that moment, staring at the form of this woman that I held aloft with the greatest of ease, I felt a weight drop into the pit of my stomach.  

What am I doing??? Blood rushing to my face I lowered her down, gently releasing my grip. She snatched her hand away immediately, cradling her wrist in her other hand. She stared daggers into the fabric of the sheets before her.

“Natalie, I—“  

But before I could begin my apology, her face twisted into a grimace and she suddenly started to cry and shout.  "P-please, if you’re going to hurt me just do it quickly… I know you’re angry. You’re always so fucking angry. Well, looks like you got what you wanted… s-so, have at it, enjoy your… p-power over me…”

My heart of stone softened.  “I don’t want to hurt you. Natalie?” With a trembling finger, I touched the tip of her chin. She jumped and I sought her eyes. “I promise I don’t want to hurt you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I frightened you.” 

Her eyes shimmered with still more tears.  “D-did you do this, somehow? Make us trade places? To show me how awful it is??” Her voice was shaking as she asked the question.

I felt a twinge in my chest, but I couldn’t name the precise feeling.  "No! No!! I have no idea how this happened! I swear to you. You’re giving me far more credit than I deserve. I’ve studied law not quantum physics… well, I’ve studied a little… just a few theorems….” I saw the slightest twitch out of the corner of my eye as she dipped her head, clearly, disinterested. I swallowed, recovering, while I reached for her pajama shirt and draped it around her bare shoulders. She was nowhere close to fitting in it now, “Ahem, anyway…. I’ve no hypothesis as to how this happened. It seems impossible. Perhaps it is some strange hallucination. But in any case, I’m not planning to harm you. Have you been infuriating, at times, during our journey together so far? Yes. But you managed, in spite of yourself, to keep me alive so…. That’s the least I can do for you. After all, it’s only fair!” 

************

Way to be fucking encouraging. Was I supposed to be thankful he’d decided I deserved to live? I found I did believe him when he said he wasn’t trying to hurt me. That was at least one less thing to lose my mind over. I pulled the thick, scratchy fabric tighter around me. How had he survived like this for all of his life? It’d been approximately ten minutes and I was ready to throw myself off the edge of the bed. I wiped my tear stained cheeks with the back of my hand. Maybe this was all just a bad dream and I’d wake up any second and we could laugh about this while he lounged in my cupped palm. 

“You’re still upset.” It was a statement not a question. I clenched my jaw, straightening my spine and glaring up at him. 

“Yes, you emotionally immature dumbass, I’m still upset. Whoopdie fuckin’ do, you can open doors and pick up books now. Great for fucking you. Meanwhile, my entire world has been ripped away from me and turned upside down.” He said nothing, but the lines on his face told me everything he was thinking. This was what he’d been ranting and railing about non-stop since I’d found him in the pantry. I sighed, acquiescing, “I’m sorr—“

“I’m sorry. Truly. I’m very rarely wrong, so I mean it genuinely. I was so wrapped up in my own improved circumstances, it was hard to remember the fear that you must be experiencing. I’m sorry, Natalie, for frightening you.” His face flushed suddenly. He cleared his throat, before extending a finger towards me, the underside turned upwards. I stiffened. The digit stopped just short of my personal space, “Forgive me for my ignorance?” It was my turn to blush, I reached out with a cautious hand and squeezed the tip of his proffered finger. 

“You’re forgiven. For now.” My hand rested on his finger. I could feel the thrum of his pulse, strong, steady. That made my own heart quicken its pace. Each ridge in the pad was distinct. It was overwhelming at this size how much more detailed every minuscule thing became!!

***************

I exhaled air from my nostrils, incapable of keeping my baffled thought from being spoken aloud, “Was I really this small to you?” She had been staring at the stark contrast of her outstretched hand over just the tip of my finger, but now cast her flustered gaze askance. 

“Y-yes. You were so….” Sh stumbled, trying to find the words.

“…Infinitesimally delicate…” I breathed.

“I was just gonna say cute… but… yeah.” Now she was the one laughing. I stared at her with a curious, questioning gaze, “How the fuck did you have the courage to bite me at this size?? You’re fucking terrifying.” She shoved playfully at my finger. I couldn’t deny the smirk playing on my lips 

“You deserved it.” I meant that in earnest.

“I know.” She replied with equal conviction.

“I deserve it too after the fright I gave you. Eye for an eye as they say….” Half joking, half in earnest truth, I brought my upturned index finger to just before her lap, “You can return the favor now, if you’d like…” 

She burst into immediate laughter, “What the fuck??? I’m not gonna bite you!” She crossed her arms and cocked an eyebrow as she continued to chuckle, “What do you take me for? A dirty little rat who can’t control his animal instincts?” 

“You’re still on that, are you? You do realize I could, now, easily take that as an invitation to imprison you in a glass bowl!” 

She scoffed, rising to her feet, the fabric of her pajama shirt she was using to cover herself tucked beneath her arms, thrusting her chin defiantly in the air, “You wouldn’t have the balls!” 

It was my turn to raise a brow, I was certainly never one to back down from a challenge. 

“Is that so?” As she opened her mouth to quip back, I quickly gripped her torso, fabric and all, between a thumb and forefinger, lifting her into the air, as I straightened my spine and stood, holding her just before my eyes, “I tend to take questions of my ability rather seriously, Ms. Marquez.” My gaze met hers, and I immediately felt a wave of adrenaline crash through me. 

Instead of the confident smile of the woman I’d come to know who always seemed to hit back when it came to verbal swordplay, her eyes were almost popping out of their sockets, her heart was thundering wildly against my thumb, her whole body trembled as she squirmed uncomfortably. She was so… small. I was hardly applying any pressure at all, yet she was utterly powerless to break my grip. As she struggled, she made the mistake of peering past my fingers, taking in just how high off the ground she currently was. She immediately cried out, fighting with all her might against me. 

***************

THIS WAS TERRIFYING. All in a breathtaking rush, I went from relying on my own two feet, to being whisked into the air, pressure all around my ribcage as I found myself suddenly, before his eye. An eye that was as big as my whole head. I could count every sandy eyelash, every slight wrinkle around the corners. I could feel his breath on me. This was far and above too much for me to handle. Why wouldn’t he let me go? Didn’t he see how scared I was? I couldn’t help remembering, with a pang of guilt, how many times he’d protested against my fingers, heart fluttering against my skin, and I’d simply laughed at him. I had no clue it felt like this. 

I continued to push and writhe. In my desperate attempt to free myself, I caught the mattress out of the corner of my eye. I did a double take. It looked like I was suspended on the very ledge of a ten story building! A building which happened  to be made of a male chest, abs and hips, in one impossible wall before me. My head was pounding as I struggled to get oxygen to my lungs. I couldn't help it, I was starting to hyperventilate. I squirmed even more, tears pricking my eyes as all this went completely ignored. What was wrong with him? My vision dipped to black and that was the final straw. 

“P-put me down! P-please! Put me down, NOW!” 

“Don’t worry, I won’t drop—“ it was almost a light chuckle, as if my reaction was somehow funny to him.

“ALEXANDER PUT ME DOWN RIGHT NOW!!!!” I screamed at the top of my lungs. He did as he was told without a moment’s hesitation, crouching before the edge of the mattress, his chin resting on the bedspread. I collapsed, my legs like Jell-O. I couldn’t breathe. 

“Natalie, you seem to be taking this rather hard, are you quite alright?” Fingers seemed to grow in size as they bore down closer and closer. 

“D-DON’T! Don’t touch m-me! I need… I need a minute, please!” I was curled up into a ball, running my fingernails along my scalp like some pet bird ripping out its own feathers from stress. That’s all I was now, wasn’t I? I shuddered. 

This was never something I’d had to really think about. It’s not like I ever had to worry about being in this situation. But now? As tears cascaded down my cheeks, and my breath caught in my throat I finally, really understood the source of Alexander’s anger. I was breaking after fifteen minutes, yet he’d lived his whole life this way. I hastily wiped my face with the thick scratchy shirt, each of its stitches incredibly distinct. 

Through watery eyes, I looked up at the man who had once wrapped himself easily around my thumb, now towering above me, his head propped up on a fist. His striking blue eyes shimmered, his brow furrowed with concern. For once in his life he was silent. He blinked rapidly when my eyes met his. “I… I didn’t know being picked up felt… like that. No wonder you chewed me out for it every time….” He shifted his arm slightly and I could feel the ricochet effect through the surface of the mattress, to me. It made my heart skip a beat. Even his absent-minded motion was impossible for me to ignore. Tears swelled in my eyes again as I began to feel utterly overwhelmed by it all. 

I opened my mouth to continue when he suddenly blurted out, “I’m rather famished. Are you?” I blinked, shaking my head. This wasn’t what I was expecting him to say. It definitely pulled me out of my sad sack, pity party. 

“W-what?” I mumbled.

“I’m hungry. I assume you are, too. I don’t exactly have much… Well, to be precise, any culinary experience… I thought, perhaps, you might be willing to tutor me?” I couldn’t help but notice the subtle change in the color of his cheeks. He ran a hand through his cascading hair. My shoulders relaxed from my ears a little as my heart soared. Awwwww, he was trying, for me! He was doing his best to comfort me. 

“Okay, but… it’s not my fault if you fuck it up because you won’t listen to me or follow directions.” I teased. 

“I am a great follower of directions when I choose to be, thank you!”

“Oh, so up until this point you’ve been ignoring me and pissing me off by choice?” I felt a weight lifting off of my shoulders. Everything was far from fine, but it was okay to have a moment of fun. For the first time since I’d woken up, this felt… familiar. 

“If you have to ask me, I evidently was doing a very poor job of making that explicitly clear.” He smirked, his eyes bright. I’d never seen eyes quite that blue before. It was like they glowed. He paused for a moment, I could see a new idea flashing behind his gaze, “I’ve no desire to hurt you, Natalie. You’ve now found yourself in a stress-inducing, highly demoralizing position. Far be it from me to add to that any further. You have been rather irritatingly flippant towards me in the past, but I am not so emotionally compromised that I intend to seek revenge for past wrongs. You know what it’s like now, and I think that’s more than enough. I don’t want you to fear me, despite all appearances and history to the contrary, I am capable of some degree of compassion.” I swallowed. I had no idea what to even say. I just sort of stared, wide-eyed as he stood to his full height. I found it necessary to swallow again. 

Towering like a skyscraper, his half naked form dominated my whole point of view. Had I noticed he was ripped before? I didn’t think I’d noticed he was ripped before. Suddenly finding myself choking, I turned away, face burning hot. 

“Ah…” He clicked his tongue, I still couldn’t bear to look up, “I… er… I need something to wear… May I—“ 

“Yup, uh huh… have an old pair of sweatpants in the bottom right drawer… Feel free to—“

“R-right, um, yes… I’ll just… walk over there…” He pushed himself away from the bed, and started to turn towards the dresser. Oh! Oh my god, he had a pillow for the front… but not the… I bit my lip and buried my head in my arms. I heard the scrape of wood as a drawer was opened, then a rustle of fabric. Not soon after, I could actually hear his individual footfalls on the carpet, like some giant out of a children’s cartoon. 

He cleared his throat and I could tell he was standing before me again, “I, uh, I’m decent…” I swept the hair from my eyes as I craned my neck upwards. I almost burst out laughing. He’d managed to grab, not the pair I was thinking, but my stupid ass sweats from high school with bedazzled flowers.  Without him having to turn around I knew stamped across the ass was the word “SEXY” in all caps. They were a white elephant gift and, sue me, I was a sentimental bitch. But I wouldn't be caught dead actually wearing them. 

“Don’t, don’t you start…Natalie! Why? Why do you insist on continuing to insult me with the worst possible fashion choices one could possibly fathom in the darkest recesses of their mind??” They barely fit him, seeming to suffocate his waist. His face was bright red. 

“Oh get over it, you big baby. At least you have something on, I’m just swimming in this!” I raised my arms to undulate the pajama shirt fabric. 

“Be careful what you ask for, I’m sure you have the rest of those doll clothes lying around here, somewhere….”

I raised my hands defensively, shaking my head, “I yield the remainder of my time, your Honor.” Lawyer jokes. I was making lawyer jokes now? How else would he manage to ruin me??? 

***********

I laid the flat of my hand against the mess of sheets just before her reduced corpus. I watched as she sucked in a hesitant breath just as my skipping heart pounded out of its syncopated rhythm. Would she allow me to hold her? What an utterly remarkable reversal, me, holding someone between my cupped hands?? I never fathomed it could be possible. We stared at each other, neither breathing a word. Finally, determinedly, with that firm brow and cocked chin that she always displayed when she’d made up her mind about something, she tucked the fabric under her arm, and, took steps towards my hand. I smiled as the t-shirt was dragged behind her, looking like some pooling and elaborate train of a designer dress. 

Gingerly, I pinched the fabric with my free, right hand, relieving her of the burden of dragging it herself. That’s when the flat of her bare foot pressed into my warm and waiting flesh and I almost gasped for air. What an almost indescribable feeling, to be a vessel for someone’s whole self. As much as it set part of my cerebrum on fire, I could begin to understand why humans wanted me trapped between their fingers so often. It was an experience unlike any other, tinged with uncertainty, strangely intimate, altogether wonderful. Rather quickly she found her way to sitting in the center of my palm, and I lifted her up to my eye-line. “Perhaps we can try this again?” I kept my voice low and soft. 

“Perhaps we can.” She flashed her eyes up at me like some double confirmation. I stayed staring at the tiny woman nestled in my palm, buried under a mound of fabric: her hair, messy from sleep, cascading all around her. She reached out a hand, no bigger than my finger nail, and placed it firmly on the tip of my nose. I practically flinched. I didn’t know how I felt about all this sudden intimacy. I would have railed against such things before. She seemed to be encouraging it. What to make of that? 

“This is… weird, right?” She broke the silence.

I cleared my throat trying my damndest not to move, “It certainly is unorthodox.”

“Food?” She guided me back to the task at hand. 

“Yes, yes.” I took measured steps toward the kitchen, eyes glued to her. I knew being handled while walking could be a nauseating experience. She seemed fine, if not a bit overwhelmed by the sight of her own home towering around her.  

Soon, I found myself before a cutting board, littered with vegetables, Natalie perched upon my bare shoulder. Why was I nervous hefting this kitchen knife? How hard could it possibly be? 

“Dice it.” She commanded, matter-of-factly. 

“… Mmm, yes, of course… I’m going to… do that… now…” Did I sound as utterly lacking in confidence as I felt? 

Rich laughter poured from her small body, “You don’t know what dicing is??? You know property laws dating back to the late 70s, by heart, and you don’t know how to dice a tomato??” She was howling with laughter.

“Well! You make it sound—“ My cheeks flushed as I mumbled. 

“Shut up , shut up, shut up, oh my fucking god this is funny. Put me on the cutting board. C’mon, chop, chop, the water’s gonna boil over by the time you get this done.” She was awfully demanding for one so little.

I couldn’t help rolling my eyes. How was she still pulling my strings like a puppet when I was ten times her size? Just because she was small, didn’t mean she still couldn’t find a way to get under my skin. I let her slide out of my loose fist and onto the board with a rotund, ruby red tomato, measuring the majority of her height, placed at its center.

“Okay… Alexander pay attention! You’re gonna cut it in half here.” I did so, seemingly much more nervous about her proximity to the knife in my hand than she appeared to be. “Then put the other half over there for now. Now, cut it along the curve like this.” She gestured broadly, using her whole body to demonstrate her meaning. I’ll admit, even while she was using me as the butt of her joke, her fully embodied commitment was rather endearing. We carried on like this. I managed to cut myself with the knife… twice. She told me it was because I lacked proper form. I wasn’t aware such a thing existed. She had me sautéing and basting and boiling in no time (not without almost constant laughter on her part). At one point she’d tried to convince me to don a frilly apron of hers with garish looking chickens and eggs patterned throughout, citing its convenient front pocket, but I managed to set a boundary on that one. After all, she could no longer force me to wear anything! I sort of relished in that freedom. I tried to ignore the rhinestones of my current pant situation as they sparkled in the oven overhead light. 

After a period of pure torment that apparently was cooking, while I wiped sweat from my brow and nursed my cut fingers, we finally, blessedly, sat down to eat. “That was…. altogether unpleasant.” I groaned.

“Really? I had a great time!” She was stuffing her mouth, unapologetically.  The action made me smile for some reason.   

“Well of course you had a fine experience you didn’t have to do anything.” I teased.

“Dude, if I hadn’t Ratatouille’d the situation we’d be eating char for lunch.” She spat back. I stared at her numbly, “Ratatouille? You know? The Disney movie? With the rat? And the guy? The rat’s a chef?? Not ringin’ any bells for ya?” 

“Sounds like a profoundly stupid film.” I was just being honest. 

She stuck her tongue out at me. I shook my head. 

“Whatever, when we switch back, I’m gonna make you watch a ton of Disney stuff just to laugh as you bitch about it.” She returned to her meal, unbothered by the sentence that hung in the air like a hangman’s noose in my mind’s eye. The food that had tasted heavenly on my tongue, now turned to bitter ash. My complexion waned. 

“T-Turn back?” I practically choked on the words.

“Well, yeah. I mean whatever this is, it’s gotta be temporary right? If this was, like, a thing, you’d be hearing about it on the news. I mean, who knows? Maybe this is just one really fucking weird dream. Or we took acid and forgot? I dunno, I’m just saying, it’s not like this is forever….” 

I swallowed but tasted nothing, feeling the pulse in my neck quicken. “Natalie, I understand this is…. Much less advantageous for you… but… I can’t go back. I’ve dreamt of nothing more than leading my life with dignity and… respect. I can walk out in the world with both, now.” 

She stared at me, blinking once, “I don’t know that it’ll be up to us…” She mumbled under her breath, her words so quiet I had to strain to hear, “But… I… Come on, you know I can’t live like this.” Well, I’ve done it against my will my whole life, what makes you so special? “I mean.. I know it’s not really fair of me to complain to you, of all people, it’s just… I mean, Alexander, I have a family.” A knot stuck in my throat. 

“Well, like you said, maybe we’ll have no say in the matter.” I forced a tasteless bite just to avoid the conversation. We didn’t speak for the rest of the meal, both of us suddenly weighed down by our respective heavy consciences, neither of us wanting to lose our autonomy. 

Cleaning up was far more successful than the cooking had been, but there was no longer any banter. She sat where I had placed her, atop the microwave. She regarded the things nearby: the loaf of bread, the bag of clementines, a haphazardly re-wrapped portion of a chocolate bar, with utter disgust. All of these things, things that she had once been able to pick up with ease, were now looming over her, like stoic mockeries of her own pitiful size. I was painfully familiar with such a feeling. I felt badly for her, I truly did. 

Once the kitchen was spotless, no easy feat given its usual calamitous clutter, I sort of stood there leaning against the counter, unsure what to do next. She was the one to break the silence, “Thanks for cleaning up. This is the best this kitchen’s looked in years…” She was trying her best to offer an olive branch. 

“It was nothing. You know, I might be able to help with the rest of the apartment too, if you’ll let me.” 

**********************

If I’d felt overwhelmed by cleaning before, the task seemed (and probably was) near to impossible now. I shrugged my shoulders. “My trash heap is your playground, go fuckin’ nuts.” I wasn’t one to turn down free help. As long as this isn’t how it’s always gonna be. Every time the panic-inducing thought slipped in, I chased it away. It’s just for now. It HAS to be just for now. I knew Alexander well enough by now to know that like a mouse with a cookie, giving him a challenge or a puzzle to solve was like a drug. He was beside himself. Was it normal to look at this giant of a man and still think he was laughably adorable?

We whiled away the rest of the afternoon and evening cleaning and reorganizing every nook and cranny. Well, he did most of that. To an absolutely asinine degree. He used a tape measure to make sure each book on the shelf was the same distance from the edge. He organized all my records by genre and release date. He rearranged my plants based on the trajectory of the sun through my windows. He even took the time to meticulously fold every item of clothing I had stuffed in my dresser. 

Meanwhile, I managed to find something to entertain myself at each stage. I dug out an old handheld video game system, that had once easily fit between two cupped hands and now was a challenge just to hit the buttons. He chuckled softly at the beeps and tinny music coming from the outdated machine. I marveled at trying to use my computer now stretching on, the size of a movie theater screen. I tried writing my own name with a pencil and paper, only to come away with a page full of graphite squiggles and pretty sore arms. 

By the time the work was done, it was well past midnight and we were both exhausted. His bangs pestered his eyes as he collapsed on the floor by the bed, having set me down on the edge, I peered down at him while he caught his breath. He leaned his head back and rolled toward me, peering up at where I sat. Seeing those bright blue eyes gazing up at me over brows and messy curtained hair, I felt my spine straighten. If I squinted, it was almost like he was little again, craning his neck to meet my gaze. His voice warm and all-consuming, broke me of my thoughts. 

“Is it time to retire for the night? I, for one, am exhausted and my leg is killing me.” He grumbled, I nodded. I’d forgotten about his unhealed injury. He’d been going without complaint all day and I couldn’t exactly see it from my limited vantage point, I’d forgotten that he was still hurt. “Do you need anything?” I shook my head no. He started for the door, “Goodnight, then—“ Where was he going? 

“Wait!” My tone sounded a little too small and needy for my liking. I cleared my throat, “Uh, I mean… Don’t you think we should sleep near each other just, you know, in case?” I saw his lips press into a thin line. Being reminded of the sheer possibility that he could wake up without this new body seemed to distress him greatly, so much so, that I felt guilty for bringing it up. Still, I didn’t want to be left all alone in this giant bed all by myself. Alexander may have loved his personal space, but I kind of wanted to be looked after right now. He nodded curtly, as he took steps towards the bed. He hesitated for a moment, clearly unsure how to make this less intimate than it already clearly was. I shuffled over to the pillow on the opposite side. He did his best to slip under the sheets without disturbing the mattress too much. 

Then, much to my fascination and delight, I found myself lying on my side, face to face, eye to eye with him. I reached out and with a chilly hand, pressed my palm into the bridge of his nose. He blinked, while sucking in air. I couldn’t help smiling. “No matter how big you are, you’ll always be my little nightmare…” a smirk curved his lips as his left hand shifted from where it lay on the bed. Slowly, cautiously, a finger tip approached, and very lightly brushed my hair aside. Where his fingertip touched, my skin was abuzz with electricity. My heart skipped a beat and I held my breath. As though he were waking from a dream and suddenly found himself an inch from my body, his eyes widened and he mumbled, “G-goodnight, Natalie” and then promptly rolled over. I shook my head to hide my smile. This poor boy needed to learn it was okay to express feelings other than pure rage. 

I rolled over to face him, and speaking to the back of his head, I wished him a goodnight, before drifting off to sleep. 

I awoke softly at first, seemingly on my own for no particular reason. I could feel the slight draft of air tickle my body as I shuffled a bit in bed. That’s when I heard it. Almost impossible to place at first, so soft it almost blended with the mechanical drone of the air-conditioning, the sound of someone crying. Not someone, of course, Alexander. 

I knew before I even opened my eyes. My heart sank. Feeling a tightening in my own throat, I met the pristine morning light with heavy, sleep-ridden eyelids. Rolling over my shoulder in my perfectly proportioned bed, I saw him, curled up against the farthest corner of my pillow, hunched over, his shoulders hitching with each wracking sob. As I adjusted myself in bed to see him, I watched his spine tense, as he froze, casting a glance behind him. The face I saw was the most pitiable, splotchy and tear-stained countenance of a man who’d lost everything in the stroke of one unexplainable night. When he landed his gaze on me, his eyes brimmed with fresh tears, as he painfully choked out these few words: 

“I was so close. I had everything I’ve ever wanted for a day. One pathetic day. And now… I’m… back to nothing.” Without hesitation or self consciousness, he rose to standing and crossed to me, I quickly gathered him in my hands and held him close to my heart. I stroked his trembling shoulders with the pad of my thumb. 

“Don’t talk like that. It’s not true.” 

He scoffed, pushing himself away from my skin to look me dead in the eye, “Oh really? How should I talk about it then? Shall I rejoice in being dependent on people forever? Shall I jump for joy that I will never be taken seriously? That I have no control over my own destiny? The world is actively hostile to people like me. I’ve no means to self-actualize like this. Not because I’m not capable, but because your society won’t give me the chance. But, no, you’re right, let me see if I can arrange for a fireworks display to celebrate this momentou—“ Gingerly, I placed the pad of my index finger over his lips. 

“Hush! Alexander? You aren’t nothing. You’re dead wrong about that. You, my little nightmare, are everything to me. Do you realize I would be flunking out of law school right now if it weren’t for you? Hell, you just spent the last twenty-four hours taking care of me when I needed it most. You inspire me every day to work harder and rise to my fullest potential. And yeah, okay, sure, you may need a little help getting around and you’re never gonna suck less at cooking, I’m sorry to break it to you, but you are brilliant…. And I know I don’t have to tell you that twice. I’m pretty sure you enjoy telling me as often as you can manage. If anyone is going to wrangle life into submission and take control of his own future, it's you. Little or no…” I trailed off as I watched his shoulders rise and fall as he chuckled and shook his head, bitterly. What had I said wrong? My face burned.

“Is that all I am? A pocket-sized aide, turned miniature tutor?” When his gaze returned to mine, his eyes were blazing blue. 

“You know that’s not what I meant…”

“Isn’t it though? All you humans care about is what I can do and be for you. How I can entertain you and fulfill some niche set of tasks—“

“Now, hang on. I admit, that was a poor choice of words. But give me a little more credit, here. I’m not like that shitty lawyer you had to put up with from before. I understand empathy and, maybe in spite of your low opinion of me, I can learn from my mistakes, okay?” 

He sighed, squirming a bit inside my hand. He cast his gaze askance while he blinked once, twice, three times, considering my argument, “I just… I’m so beleaguered by this approximation of my worth to what duties I perform.” He squeezed the flesh of my palm in frustration.

“I understand that, completely,” I encouraged, while he simply scoffed in response, “Well, I mean I know I don’t get it, exactly, but I can empathize, okay? Stop trying to make me out to be the bad guy when I’m trying, here. I just want you to know that I… I… don’t… you know, I don’t, uh… hate you…” I swallowed hard, suddenly feeling quite flushed, “What I mean is, I’m not out to get you. I’m grateful for all the ways you help me, but I don’t expect it and I’m doing everything I can think of to help you in return. I know you think I’m a fucking idiot, and, I dunno, maybe I am in some ways, but I’m an idiot who’s got your back. You’re not getting rid of me that easily. I’ll still be here even after you piss me off for the five thousandth time this week.” He cracked a ghost of a smile at that. There you are behind that prickly exterior. 

“You humans are extremely difficult to train. I hope you can appreciate what an uphill climb it was to even arrive at this destination,” He leaned back, allowing his weight to be supported by my curled fingers, an act of relaxation he almost never indulged in. I felt my heart skip a beat as I felt the warmth of his body ignite the sensitive nerves on my fingertips. He continued, “I suppose I don’t hold you in utter contempt, either. Perhaps having some support won’t be as burdensome and infuriating as I previously hypothesized.” He swept his bangs from his eyes, “While most of your earlier statement was, frankly, offensive, you were correct in your assertion: I am rather brilliant aren’t I?” He flashed me a winning smile and arched his brow. 

“Oh fuck off! You’re not guilt tripping me and fishing for compliments at the same time! No, I’m not playing your stupid game! God, you’re such a little nightmare! I mean you’ve been through a lot, I know, but, jeez, Alexander! You don’t know how to turn it off, do you?” 

“Even at night, the sun shows itself by the glow of the moon…” 

“Oh my fucking god, you’re unbearable! Forget I said anything at all to try and cheer you up. Now I’ve gotta suffer through the consequences of my own actions! Ay, dios mio, what have I done?” I placed the tip of my index finger on his bent, left knee and shook it ever so slightly. Enough to demonstrate my pretend frustration without actually jostling his body. 

He was beaming by the time I finished, “I’ll make sure you’re spared when the revolution comes. You turned out to be less wholly insufferable than I’d first surmised, Ms. Marquez.”

“And that’s as close to a compliment as I’m going to get from you, I am sure.” He laughed. I adored that little laugh. “Let’s go back to sleep and ignore the world for a few more hours, how does that sound?”

“Honestly? Rather ideal.” 

“May I hold you in my hand for you to rest in?” I felt his hands reflexively tighten on the skin of my palm. He thought for a moment before releasing a breath he had been holding. 

“Yes, you may.” 

For the first time since I’d known him, he allowed me to hold him closely, head resting on the pad of my finger, as he curled up over my beating heart. As I closed my eyes and began to drift, I heard a muffled voice. 

“I suppose I’m really not getting rid of you am I?” 

“Not unless you kill me… Wait…Don’t, don’t get any ideas, okay? Somehow of anyone I feel like you could figure out how to kill a human and get away with it.”

He laughed, wriggling to get more comfortable in my featherlight grip, “Hm. I suppose I’ll let you live to see the light of another day…Goodnight, Natalie.” And then, I could have sworn I felt just the smallest amount of pressure and dampness against my finger. Almost as if a pair of tiny lips were kissing it goodnight. But maybe it was just wishful thinking. 

After the day we’d had, who knew just what was real anymore?

#What if lady smol and man big? #A Fraction of Justice #oc:alexander #oc:natalie #g/t related #g/t community #g/t au #giant/tiny #g/t writing #size switch au #gt community

[ratcatcher0325]

A Fraction of Justice (Chapter #21)

Chapter #21. Alexander versus a vet. Who will win? 

Previous: Chapter #20

Next: Chapter #22

Word Count: 3,721 Read Time: Approx. 29 mins

CW: adult language, angst, injury, dehumanization

Tag list: @gatlily @grbene @patrocolus3 @beautifulunknowntrash @titan-god-420 @andraimeide @themarlo @cup-o-chai @lucentbliss @raccoontoaster @tolsizedlove @not-a-space-alien , @thegodmother007 @honey-olive, @kitn-underfoot; @bittykimmy13; @cloudwatchingtoday

_____________________

A Fraction of Justice

Chapter #21: Maladies 

[Alexander’s POV]

The receptionist lead Natalie through a glass door and down a hallway, to the examination room. I couldn’t help but maintain my death grip on her pinky, as she carried me along. I normally would have found her stroking of my head and neck to be anything from mildly annoying to downright condescending, but in this moment it was actually comforting. She was showing me, in her obnoxiously human way, that she was there for me. Moments later, with the door shut behind us, we were alone in the private room.

She sat in one of the two provided, plastic chairs, setting her purse down in the other. In front of her (and behind me) was a Formica countertop connected to some cabinets with aluminum handles and a small utility sink. Hanging on the walls, slightly crooked and uneven, were framed diagrams of a cat’s skeletal and circulatory systems as well as a poster of different dog breeds. There was a dusty, fake ficus in the corner. The buzzing florescent light gave everything a cold, sterile and washed out appearance. This was clearly the motel 6 of veterinarians. I shuddered, wondering what that meant for the quality of the service. What an ugly, horrid place. I began to understand why animals of a lesser intelligence cried upon entering.

I was so grateful to be alone with just her, even if only for a few moments. Being introduced to new humans was always, inevitably, an excruciatingly embarrassing experience. Especially when this one was likely going to prod around in my infected wound. How much pain was I about to be in?

“Alexander? You okay?” It’s like she’d read my mind. My head snapped up to meet her eyes, her brow was furrowed slightly. She’d shifted me around in her hands so that I was now leaning back, cradled a bit awkwardly between her two cupped palms. I used my hands to push myself up a bit, wincing at the pain as I dragged my leg.

I sucked air into my lungs as I tried to calm my nerves, “I’m fine. Thank you.”

“I’m sure the doctor will be kind and gentle. You’ll be in good shape in no time.”

At least she restrained herself from flat out saying ‘vet’. “You don’t have to placate and lie to me as if I were a child.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry. It’s just… I can see you’re frightened and I want to reassure you that I’m looking out for you—“

“I’m not frightened! I’m perfectly relaxed!”

********

Just then, the door across the room slammed open with a loud and sudden squeal. Alexander immediately jumped and cowered behind the wall of my fingers, squeezing tightly onto me with both tiny fists. Normally, I would’ve found the impeccable timing of this to be hilarious, but right now I only felt bad for him. Poor thing. I placed the pad of my thumb between his shoulder blades. I’m right here with you.

The vet stormed in, his bespectacled face buried in charts clamped to a dirty, scratched up, old clipboard with a chunk missing from the bottom right corner. Dr. Greene was a barrel-chested, big-boned man, with almost nonexistent hair thinly covering his liver spotted cranium. His face was broad, blunt, and splotchy in complexion. He was mumbling to himself as he entered, which I was just able to catch the tail end of, “…. Trisha if you schedule another one of these goddamn new patients between my surgery rotations—“

As I stood to meet him, Alexander clutched protectively in my cupped hands, he stopped suddenly as though he realized what room he was in. Hurriedly, he peeled his skin tight, blue latex gloves from his blunt, meaty hands. I couldn’t help but notice they looked stained with some sort of splatter…. I didn’t want to think about just what it might be. They cascaded into the otherwise empty plastic waste bin with a distinguishable rustle. He carried the chart over to the sink as he washed his hands. I glanced down at Alexander, who’s quaking I could feel though the surface of my palm. I wanted to cradle him against my shoulder and high tail it out of here. But where else could we go? This was the only vet in a thirty mile radius that was remotely within my meager budget. I felt ashamed that finances limited my ability to properly care for him.

Over the din of the rushing water drumming against the aluminum basin of the sink, Dr. Greene cleared his throat, still not actually looking at either of us. “So. You’ve got a pet who got himself into some trouble, eh? Male, early thirties, no papers, no vaccination records… you sure you didn’t steal some rich kid’s birthday present off their front porch?” He finally turned to look at me, tilting his head downward to peer at me over the rim of his half-framed glasses.

“E-excuse me?” I felt a flash of anger tighten my chest. He was looking at me and assuming I had stolen Alexander? What sort of classist fucking bullshit—?? His eyes were small, dark, sunken in, puffed from over work.

A soft dry cackle escaped the man’s lips, “Apologies, uh, Ms….” He glanced back at the chart, “Ms. Marquez, that was my poor attempt at a joke. I’m Dr. Richard Greene. We’re grateful you brought your companion in with you today…” Like I had literally any other choice. He put on a fresh pair of latex gloves before continuing, clapping his hands together with a loud, rubbery smack that made Alexander jump, “Now, what seems to be the cause for concern?” He eyed me again from below his glasses. I simply looked to Alexander and raised a brow. It was his body and his injury, he had more of a right to answer that question than I did.

“Hello, yes, I, the actual patient in question would be happy to answer that.” The vet turned his gaze to look upon the little man in my hand, who was now sitting up with a board straight spine, his arms crossed tightly over his chest and chin defiantly tilted in the air. He did not like being ignored, and I really couldn’t blame him! Dr. Greene with a visible smirk, nodded for him to continue, “I received a dog bite from an adolescent German shepherd… my patella, collateral ligaments and surrounding tissue were rent, and crushed severely. Now, I appear to have contracted a rather significant infection. As we speak, I am suffering from mild nausea, lightheadedness, disorientation, headaches, chills as well as severe swelling at the site of the infection, including purulent drainage—“ he sucked in a lungful of air to continue, only to be halted by the low rumble of the doctor’s laughter.

*********

He took off his spectacles and wiped the sweat from the bridge of his nose as he chuckled, quietly at first and then loud enough that I was forced to cease in my testimony. He replaced his glasses before crossing the room towards myself and Natalie. “Wow!” He exclaimed, flashing teeth that were too white and straight to match with his blotchy and irregular complexion, “You are just one smart little pet, aren’t you? Ha! That’s the best I’ve seen yet!” He immediately regarded Natalie again, “Did you teach him to recite all that? I’ve seen it done before but not to this—“

“I’m not reciting anything! I’m trying to give you an accurate snapshot of the extent of my injuries. Now, please, listen to what I have to say!”

“It’s true!” The woman above me chimed in, “He really is that smart. He knows what he’s talking about.”

The doctor, far more unsettling to behold in his disgraceful descent into old age from this much more… personal.. vantage point, bent at the waist to get far closer to me than I was comfortable. I braced, my upper lip showing my teeth as I fought as hard as I could to keep from shaking. His breath smelled sharply of peppermint. My heart roared beneath its cage as I refused to break eye contact with this creature ten times my size, his thin lips were pressed into a smile, “Bravo, little pet. Bravo! You want to come intern with me? You could be our new secretary….” His eyes gleamed with condescension. I felt the steam rising to pour out of my ears. “Now let’s have a better look at that leg of yours, shall we?” Gigantic hands, three times the size of Natalie’s, began to encroach on what little space I had left between his overwhelming visage and my own corpus.

I heard Natalie draw a sharp breath as she pulled away, stepping back. I squeezed her flesh with a shaky fist as she rocked back, jostling me in the process, “I’d much rather set him down on the counter. He hates being handled.” Thank you, Natalie. By comparison to this nightmare in a white coat, I’ve come to better appreciate your idiosyncrasies. The doctor backed off, and I was suddenly lowered down, down onto the icy surface of the counter that made me wince when it made contact with my barren legs. While we settled, the doctor was fetching a rolling stool. I glanced quickly over my shoulder at Natalie, who’d placed her hand, perpendicular to the counter, a few millimeters away from my spine. Without breaking my gaze with her, I reached behind, and placed an outstretched palm on the tip of her pinky. She’s looking out for me. I’m going to be alright. Perhaps through sheer repetition, I’d start to believe it.

With the unpleasant grind of plastic and rattling metal on linoleum, the veterinarian wheeled himself before me. He opened a drawer and fetched a pair of magnifying lenses and a head lamp and placed these both around his skull. Then, he retrieved another object that made me tremble ever so slightly: suture scissors, small and incredibly sharp. Putting both the lenses and light in place which blared with a blinding intensity that made me groan and shield my eyes, he began to drone in a cold and calculating way, “In order to see the extent of his wound, I’ll first have to remove these bandages. Normally, I would apply restraints to guarantee immobility, but as you two seem to have a shared understanding, I’ll ask you, Ms. Marquez, to kindly restrain him, here…” Suddenly with a force so strong the wind was knocked from my lungs, a massive meaty finger was pinning my chest down to the table.

“H-hey!!” I choked, but to no avail, I was hardly audible to the people above me. The doctor continued without missing a beat.

“And please restrain the ankles like so….” He pinched my legs together between two forceful fingers that made tears spring into my eyes. There was more chuckling as the doctor seemed to notice something significantly funny for the first time. I was tempted to bolt upright and demand what his problem was, but feared being clotheslined by his prodding finger again I remained, obediently, splayed out on the counter. After a moment, he clarified, “Who’s bright idea was it to force him into that getup? It’s quite amusingly ill suited for a pet with his temperament!”

Without missing a beat, Natalie and I both snapped back in unison, “It’s a long story!” We shared a look. The instantaneous softening of her gaze helped settle my heart and my nauseous stomach just a bit.

“Mmm, I see, better left unsaid then.” He suddenly seemed altogether disinterested, “Now, if you please, Ms. Marquez?”

I felt her eyes on me, she raised her brow, asking for my permission. Frightened as I was of him, this unholy monster with thick concave glass for eyes, I trusted her, and knew she wouldn’t harm me. I nodded curtly, pressing my lips together and furrowing my brow as I tried to put on a brave face.

*****************

Seeing him lying there like that, before the pair of giant (even by my standards) blue-gloved hands, I was once again reminded just how minuscule my favorite angry, little friend was. For all his self righteousness and courage, he was a very, very fragile little being. I hated that I’d have to participate in holding him down, but I knew it was more a precaution than anything else. With the lightest of pressure, I gingerly rested a finger tip over his thundering chest and very softly held his ankles between my two fingers. I watched tension melt from his little body as I touched him gently.

Going to the doctor was scary for humans… I couldn’t imagine if my doctor was ten times my size!! I was so proud of him. I figured I would have definitely started bawling long before now if it were me in his shoes. The vet cleared his dry and hoarse throat, “Alright. And, here, I’m simply making a small incision into the bandages to remove them…” at the sharp metal edge of the tiny scissors edged underneath the bandage, I watched as Alexander’s whole body went rigid, but he made no sound whatsoever, the tendons in his jaw popping as he ground his teeth. His brilliant blue eyes, glassy from pain and exhaustion stared up at me, searching for an anchor to hold on to. I’m right here, I’ve got you.

Suddenly the sound of air being blown through teeth in a sharp, disapproving whistle, pulled us both back to the present, “Mmm... this is far more significant than I thought….” He gripped Alexander’s leg around the thickest part of the calf with two massive fingers. I felt a lump in my throat just watching his giant hands on the tiny limb. “Now, he’ll feel a bit of pinch here…” it annoyed me greatly that he only addressed me and practically refused to speak to his sentient patient directly. Very slowly he increased the pressure. Alexander yelped, I felt his heart rate spike. The doctor seemed to take no notice, he started rotating the joint. The tiny man cried out, pushing against my finger on his chest.

“You’re hurting him! Please!”

He was unfazed. What was wrong with this man? Wasn’t he supposed to care about little creatures? “He’s lucky it wasn’t worse… much worse.” He let go. Flipping the lenses and lamp up on top of his forehead, continuing as he wiped his glasses on his jacket lapel, “I’ll need to run a few more tests to see the true extent of what we’re dealing with. Go shopping, run some errands and come back in two hours or so and we should have the lab results by then...”

Alexander scrambled to sitting, staring up at me wide-eyed. I placed my hand around his back, “W-what??? I’m not… I’m not just going to leave him. I’m staying right here and watching while you run whatever tests you need to.”

The doctor smiled, “Ma’am all of our equipment is in the back. There’s really nothing for you to do while we have him back there… it’d be a waste of your ti—“ my heart was breaking. He’d have to go somewhere where I couldn’t follow???

“It’s not a waste of my time. I’m not leaving here until he comes home with me.”

A heavy, exhausted sigh was followed by a curt, “Suit yourself….”

“I’d really prefer to stay with him throughout this whole process. Any chance you can—“

As the man rose on creaking knees, he pointed to a laminated piece of printer paper that read: “Lab for authorized personnel ONLY”

“One of my techs will be out shortly to collect him. I hope you brought a book with you….” With that, he disappeared through the squeaking door.

“I hope you brought a book with you! What a fucking dick! Did you hear how fucking shitty he—” I snarled, but heat and wriggling against my palm cut me short. I looked down to see Alexander, shoulders caved, body shining with sweat, open wound throbbing and weeping afresh, as he pressed himself as closely as he could into the protective wall that was my hand. My heart shattered. I dropped immediately to a crouch to get closer to eye level. “Hey. Hey…” he buried his head against the base of my index finger. The only way I could tell he was crying was that my flesh became wet in one tiny little area where his cheek was pressed against me. “Oh, Alexander don’t… don’t cry….”

“…You’re going to be just fine… that guy’s an asshole but you’ll power through this, I know you will.” As I spoke, I gingerly wrapped my fingers around his tiny ribcage and delicately supported his legs with three fingers. Finally, I sat him down in a palm, tipped against my chest.

He clung to my shirt like it could somehow protect him, “I don’t want to go back there. What if they’re careless? What if they drop me? What if they administer medication for a completely different species and I’m dead within minutes?? I don’t want to die! Please don’t let me die!!” He white knuckle gripped onto me, shaking and stammering.

“Woah, woah, it can’t be that egregious back there! They wouldn’t stay open with mistakes like that!”

“No! You don’t understand! It happens all the time. I’ve worked… I mean… I’ve heard of case after case of malpractice and neglect. There is a particular bias against pets in the veterinary community… unlike their other charges, we can talk back…” he was whipping himself up into a frenzy. I had no doubt he was right, but in this moment, the cold hard facts were only going to give him stomach ulcers. Suddenly, with enough speed to startle him into silence without harming him, I pinched his rotator cuffs between a thumb and forefinger on either side and lifted him up until he was less than half an inch from the tip of my nose.

**********

Woah, hello there, Natalie. She was all I could see, could feel, could think about. Her breath warm and inviting was enveloping me as it rustled my hair. I was dangling there, an insignificant weight propped up by nothing more than her fingers. “Alexander?“ Yes? You already have my full attention. “I know you’re scared. You have every right to be. But… I also know you. And one thing you are, without fail, is strong-willed. I know you aren’t going to let them do anything to you without a fight. So let them have it if they deserve it. You’re quick on your feet and incredibly smart. Use that to your advantage. Remind them how similar you really are to them. I know you, angry little nightmare, and you’re gonna be just fine. Besides, I’ll be doing everything I can to make sure you get the care you need, alright? If they so much as harm a hair on your head I will kill them myself… sound fair?” I felt warm all over.

Something significant had shifted since I’d cried in front of her yesterday. We were…. Dare I call us… friends? Allies? I wasn’t sure what term fit us best quite yet, but, nevertheless, I felt for the very first time that I was not alone in my fight. I had her. And stupid as she could be, she meant well. Frankly, that was more than I’d ever had and I was, I realized, grateful for it.

“Thank you, Natalie. I don’t know where I’d be without you….”

She shrugged, “Mmm, dead, probably!” She broke into a mischievous grin.

“Don’t speak too soon!” I shook my head, almost getting lost in the humor and nonchalance of it all. However, my reprieve was cut short as the awful grind of that squealing door ripped though my eardrums. I gasped as Natalie shifted me in her hands, setting me in her cupped palm, so I could turn over my shoulder.

“Ms. Marquez? We’re ready for him now!” A small woman in periwinkle, ill-fitting scrubs appeared at the door, her choppy, cropped hair clearly died a pitch black. Paging the door with the heel of her boot, she extended her hands, for me… I gulped. There was the beautiful warmth of a thumb caressing my hair, down my spine as we marched forward, toward my impending doom. I suddenly found myself being raised up, until my head and neck were level with her mouth as she whispered only to me.

“Remember what I told you? You’re so much stronger than you know. Let em’ have it and don’t forget I’m right here for you, no matter what. You’ve got this.” There was one stride left before we’d reach our destination. Time seemed to slow to a crawl as warm, wet lips collided with the crown of my skull. My whole body suddenly ceased to feel like my own. I was melting into her, dizzy and dazed.

A sharp nasally voice cut through my reverie, “Awwwwww! Aren’t you just precious??? Yeah, you are! Yes, you are!” I suddenly thought a quick and unexpected death would be a preferable demise to whatever brand of personal hell this was. I found the warm, gentle touch of the only human I dared to trust slipping away as I landed in blue, latex-covered hands instead. They were hot, rough to the touch. Despite my best efforts, my body shook without my consent, “Awwww, he’s just a scared little fella! It’s okay!” She placed a rough, textured gloved finger on my hair and dragged it downwards, ripping and tearing at the roots as she did so.

“Argh! Don’t!” I thrashed my head and neck away from her.

“He really doesn’t like to be touched. Please don’t condescend to him. He’s much smarter than that.” The woman now holding me just chuckled quietly, settling her finger much too intimately close in my lap, instead.

“Don’t worry Ms. Marquez! We’ll take very good care of him! No need to worry! Enjoy your afternoon!”

I locked eyes with Natalie, my breath catching in my throat and then, in the breadth of a heartbeat, I was behind a squeaking metal door, out of sight.

#Doctors are scary #Vets are scarier #He's got this #Maybe #A Fraction of Justice #oc:alexander #oc:natalie #g/t related #g/t community #g/t au #g/t writing #g/t story #g/t #giant/tiny #gtcommunity #gt

[ratcatcher0325]

Just wanted to let you knowwww~<3

I binged your "fraction of justice" up to 29

Aaaaaand I love them ❤️ 💕

Omg hi @bigboicol-theflamingcol!! Thank you so so much! I’m so happy you’ve enjoyed Alexander and Nat’s story so far!!

Thank you as always, for reading. It means the world that other people care about the silly little guys who run around in my head!

#g/t #giant/tiny #g/t community #g/t writing #g/t related #size difference #g/t angst #gt #a fraction of justice #oc:alexander #oc:natalie

[ratcatcher0325]

A Fraction of Justice (Chapter #19)

Chapter #19. Natalie learns more about Alexander’s past. 

Previous: Chapter #18

Next: Chapter #20

Word Count: 4,103 Read Time: Approx. 32 mins

CW: adult language, mentions of abuse

Tag list: @gatlily @grbene @patrocolus3 @beautifulunknowntrash @titan-god-420 @andraimeide @themarlo @cup-o-chai @lucentbliss @raccoontoaster @tolsizedlove @not-a-space-alien , @thegodmother007 @honey-olive, @kitn-underfoot

_____________________

A Fraction of Justice

Chapter #19: Be this the Whetstone 

[Natalie’s POV]

I tried my best to keep my overwhelming enthusiasm under wraps. That poem, from The Fellowship: he knew it all by heart! With a blush of color brightening my cheek I couldn’t help but be totally enamored with the grumpy little man I held aloft between my fingers. I set him down to the right of my place setting where his food was carefully plated on that selfsame saucer from earlier in the day.

“You know how to use chopsticks, right?” He craned his neck to meet my eyes as he settled into a half way cross-legged position before his dinner. His bandaged leg still splayed out to his side. His lips pressed together as he raised an eyebrow. He didn’t have to say a word for me to tell he was insulted by the fact I’d even dared to ask him the question. “Here, then, you angry little fella…” pinched between my thumb and forefinger were two halves of a broken toothpick. I figured those would be about the right size for him to use as eating utensils. When he gingerly plucked them from me, I saw I was right, they worked pretty okay, even though they were definitely too long. Watching him make do with these sorry excuses for chopsticks, I made a vow to myself that I’d make sure to go buy him proportionate things so he could go about his day a bit more easily. At the very least, poor Alexander deserved to get a decent set of clothes… ridiculously cute as he was in that little unicorn shirt.

As he leaned down to eat, clearly quite hungry, he mumbled between bites, “You know it’s considered rude to stare…” he flashed his eyes at me.

He was right. I was ogling at him in all his adorably tiny movements, “S-sorry. I’m sorry… You enjoying your dinner, at least??”

“Alright, in fairness to you, the food is delicious…” he took another tiny bite of stir fry as I gripped my chopsticks and began to eat as well. Not too keen to shit on my desire to be a chef when you’re reaping the benefits of it, now are ya?

“How’re you feeling? You’re less warm to the touch and your eyes look a little less glassy…” I’d pressed a finger to his forehead as I spoke. He didn’t snarl at me when I touched him, for once, instead, he simply nodded in agreement.

“Still experiencing a bit of disorientation and dizziness. My head is pounding… but you’re right, the fever seems less rampant and I’m not dealing with aches and chills at the moment. I’m sure we’ll get this infection down soon… at least I certainly hope so.” Oh, right. Because you want to dart out of here as soon as you can. I’d almost forgotten. I cleared my throat and adopted a chipper tone to distract him (and myself) from my somber mood.

“Well, good. That’s good. I’m glad you’re feeling a little less shitty. Does that mean you’d be up for some studying after this?”

His spine straightened a bit as his eyes brightened. With a tipping up of his chin and a cocky smile curving his lips, he replied, “What do you think?”

Soon we were settled back on my desk, the tabletop lamp emitting a warm glow across the wooden surface littered with paper, various textbooks and case studies. He looked like a kid in a candy store. My heart melted. Was this all it took to make his day? Just stick legalese in front of him, wind him up and watch him go? It certainly seemed so. He tucked his hand under his chin, tracing his bottom lip as he leaned down to read the various titles that lay at his feet.

I could tell his leg was starting to bother him again. He favored the other side as he stood and tried to avoid putting at much weight on it as possible when he did shuffle about the desktop, “Hey…” I breathed softly, he tore his eyes away from the abstract he was reading, already annoyed at being interrupted, “I pretty much know the answer will be no, but it seems like your leg is hurting you. I could pick you up and hold you so you don’t have to put weight on it…” I sounded like a pathetic and whiny child begging to ride on the swing set one last time.

Without hesitation he quickly dashed my sliver of hope, “No. I’m not your teddy bear. I’m fine. Now can we finally get to the task at hand, please?” Ugh, fine. I nodded my head. “Thank you…” he practically rolled his eyes as he said it. He hopped up on my textbook, his arms folded over his chest, bare feet sticking slightly to the page with each tiny shift of his weight. He looked so little compared to the vast pages with their columns of text. In fact, if I laid him down, he’d probably only take up about a quarter of one page. He cleared his throat, “Shall we?” Pinching a pen between my fingers, I nodded in the affirmative and he began to read the chapter aloud.

*****************

She looked the perfect picture of a good student. Did that make me the teacher? That didn’t seem right. But then again… I did know more than her…. After all, I had twenty years of observational experience. That made my spine stack a little straighter. Just because I was always the smartest person in whatever room I happened to be in, didn’t mean I always got to celebrate it.

A smile curved my lips as I began to read. Clear, crisp, eloquent…. I sounded great and I knew it. It’s what I’d been trained to do for the better part of my life! Once I got done with the first two pages and needed to step off to turn the page, I hobbled down, ignoring the searing pain in my knee, determined to do it by myself. When I took a step forward I was halted by an index finger bumping lightly into my chest. What was she doing? Brow furrowed, I gripped her finger to push it out of the way, she stayed firm, and immovable despite my considerable effort. That was rather humbling. I couldn’t even budge a single outstretched digit? As I struggled with her, she reached for the bottom right corner of the book, pinching the page between two fingers. “Slow down, I just wanna help. I’ve got it. It’s the least I can do, that way you don’t have to walk every time, deal?” I dropped my hand and relaxed, nodding. For once, she’d come to a reasonable conclusion which seemed like a fair enough compromise.

The old man never turned his own pages. Even if we had to skip to another section of the book and I was lifting my own body weight in paper, he’d make me do it myself, while chastising me for not doing it quickly enough. I stood still while her wrist slid up and over my head, effectively flipping to the next page.

An irksome thought began to worm its way to the front of my consciousness, as I climbed back up on the book: had I escaped that old house and fought for my life only to end up precisely where I had begun all those years ago? Was I still just a little desk toy for some human to use as they saw fit? It seemed as though I was quite literally doing the same thing I’d always done.

Bile rose in my throat as I ran my fingers through my hair. I could hear the rhythmic scratching of her pen as I read, my mind wandering from this task that came to me as naturally as breathing. Here I was, as I’d always been: The perfect little helper. The smell of paper glue, the feeling of human body heat at my back and the sensation of being watched by giant eyes sent me back, far back in my memory.

I was suddenly thirteen again, dress shoes planted firmly on that familiar old mahogany desk. I stood at attention as I did every morning; 5 am sharp, never late. My hands clasped behind my back, I played the sentinel nervously, fighting the urge to fidget as I waited for him to put his morning paper and cup of bitter English breakfast tea down to acknowledge me. Mentally checking my posture, I made sure to hold myself in the dignified way I’d been taught: feet a little less than shoulder width apart, knees unlocked, hips square, hands clasped behind the middle of my back, elbows bent on either side, my chest proud, my neck tall and my chin forward but poised. I stared straight ahead, looking at the corner of the marble mantle piece I’d grown accustomed to staring at every morning for the last 1,046 days or two years, nine months and twelve days, if you like.

Today just so happened to be my birthday. I was thirteen, growing ever slowly out of childhood and stepping into adolescence. One year older meant one year wiser and I was grateful for that. In my approximate three years with the old man so far, I’d read 123 novels, 18 books of poetry and of course lots and lots of legal discourse that, if I were being completely honest, was still rather difficult for me to grasp.

I chased my thoughts away as the old man, now in his mid-sixties, grunted, mumbling something about his ongoing dissatisfaction with the state of investigative journalism these days, and neatly folded his paper. Sipping his tea, he opened the desk drawer below my feet, the rolling of which vibrated my entire body. He retrieved the two tools he always did, a magnifying glass and a pair of tweezers.

With the sharp clattering of cup on saucer, and an gruff, “Alexander…” as a greeting, he set about our morning routine.

“Good morning, sir! How are you? I think today’s going to be particularly special!” His giant, glassy, grey-blue eye meticulously passed over every fiber of my tailored tweed suit, complete with a starched dress shirt, waistcoat and tie with a decorative clip, which he’d always warned me against losing since it was so incredibly small (I lost it nine years later when one of the hospice nurses had taken it upon herself to ‘fix up’ my space on the library shelf).

“What’s got you in such a chipper mood this morning? Is there not work to be done?” He frowned, disgruntled.

“Of course there is. I’m sorry, sir.” It wasn’t his job to remember my birthday anyway.

“Stand up straight, Alexander! You’re slouching!” I quickly corrected the error. He pinched the knot of my tie between the tweezers, rotating it slightly in the light. The sharp metal edges of the tool lingered dangerously, pressing into the soft flesh of my neck, “After so many failures it seems you’ve finally mastered the Eldridge knot.” It was a statement not a compliment.

“Yes, sir.” I was stiff as a board until he released the metal hold on my necktie. The moment he let go of me, he snapped his fingers.

“What’re you standing around for? Get to it! Page 261, section 42 E…. Has your idle brain already forgotten from yesterday?” I’d jumped at the sound of his command, terrified to make a mistake. As I fumbled with the pages, trying to get there as fast as I could, I suddenly felt a sharp crack on the back of my head, making me yelp. “We haven’t got all day… my tea will be cold by the time we get started…”

When I had begun reading, he’d jabbed me in the ribs with his pen, correcting me for slouching, mumbling, and a variety of other offenses I was never aware I was making in the moment. Eventually, he became fed up with me and plucked me up by the necktie lifting me in the air. I choked and writhed, tears welling up in my eyes. After a bout of struggling, I bawled out of childish frustration as my legs swung wildly and I clawed at his immovable calloused fingers, whimpering to be put down.

When he did finally toss me back onto the desk he’d shook his finger at me and prodded me in the chest. I couldn’t make myself stop crying, he raised his voice berating me for that weakness.

“You’re pathetic. You think an attorney is allowed to cry in court?”

“No, sir.”

“No of course not! How can I get anything at all done when you’re howling and leaking all over official court records?”

“I-I’m sorry! I’m trying!”

“If you were trying you’d have gotten yourself under control. I have no sympathy nor time for your emotions. You serve one purpose, that is how you earn your place here. Do you understand that?”

I was knocking at the knees, completely bewildered and unable to keep my tears at bay. “ALEXANDER!!” His voice had ripped through my body like a sharpened blade but the real heart stopper came as he lifted the back of his hand, twice as large as my entire body. I was utterly stunned into silence, having no desire to be struck.

“Have I made myself clear? No more of this nonsense or I’ll be forced to dispose of you.”

It was the last time I’d ever cried in front of him.

I was brought back to the present moment, the sound of my own voice in my ears as I completed the next sentence. I didn’t realize I was quaking until a shadow was cast over me and I could sense something large approaching from behind. Terrified and operating only on instinct, I whipped around, saw a human hand approaching and cowered, guarding my face and chest with my arms.

“Woah, hey! W-what’s wrong? You’re…trembling… what is it? What’s got you so spooked all of a sudden?” Her concern was genuine. I gulped in air as I found myself in a seated position arms held up defensively. She’d dropped her encroaching hand the second I flinched.

I righted myself, struggling to appear nonchalant, clearing my throat and pushing my bangs from my eyes, “N-nothing, sorry. I… you took me by surprise that’s all!” I didn’t sound convincing, even to my own ears.

“Alexander… don’t lie. Why did you flinch from me like that?” I avoided her eyes, chest still rising and falling with shaky breaths. There was no avoiding this conversation was there? Not with her annoying persistence. I could feel her eyes boring into me as I curled into myself. Her voice was reduced to almost a whisper.

“Did- did you think I was gonna hit you just now?” I hid my face behind my hands, feeling more and more exposed every second. “Oh my god you did… I would never… I was trying to comfort you… you looked like you were about to cry…hey, Alexander? Can I see your eyes please?” The sound of her voice, so distinctly different from his, began to steady my breathing. Cautiously, I opened my eyes and met her gaze, brimming with tears as she looked me over with genuine compassion and concern, “Alexander, I would never hit you. Have I… did, did I do something to make you think I would?” She was blinking rapidly. I could see she was beginning to blame herself.

“No, you haven’t… I… I don’t know what came over me…”

She looked at me, puzzled, clearly trying to figure out what had so suddenly shifted my demeanor. I watched her eyes flicker with an idea as I stared back in stunned silence.

“You were abused weren’t you? In your old home? Is that why you ran away?”

Abused. What a strong word. I knew I had been. Logically, I knew. But that single word still packed an immense emotional punch. Setting my jaw and blinking back tears I nodded. What on earth possessed me to let my guard down and tell her the truth, in that moment, I still have no idea.

“Oh my god. I’m so sorry…”

I swallowed hard, setting my shoulders, “It’s fine. I’m perfectly fine. I apologize for interrupting your note taking, I’ll get back to it.” I pushed myself up to standing, shaking it off.

“Woah, woah, hold on. That’s not what matters right now. Can we talk about what just happened for a minute?”

My brows knit together, as I stared at the floor of printed text beneath my feet, “I-I’d rather not be an imposition to you. There’s work to be done…”

“Alexander, I’m not angry with you. You didn’t do anything wrong.” I bore holes into the floor with my eyes, unable to meet her gaze. There was a moment of pause, where all I could hear was my own tense breathing, “You’d mentioned once that you read out loud for your owner before. Is this what you did for him? What we’re doing now? Was he a lawyer? Is that why you know so much weirdly specific stuff about law?” I nodded, heart threatening to break free of my ribcage, “You wanted him to be proud of you, didn’t you?” That hit a nerve. My chest caved and I bit hard against the tightening in my throat. I’d trained myself not to cry, not to let emotions get in the way, I wasn’t going to let this overtake me. “But nothing you ever did was good enough was it?” How did she know that? Why was she saying all this? To embarrass me?

I felt angry, vulnerable, laid bare. She saw me far more clearly than I was comfortable. Why was she doing this to me? I shook as I spoke with an unsteady voice, “I really don’t appreciate this sudden bout of armchair psychology. Frankly, Natalie, you know nothing about me, and I really don’t care to discuss these things with a human, of all people. What could you possibly understand about my experience?” All this time I’d been directing my poison at the floor, getting increasingly more passionate in my speech, “I mean you threw me in a box like some accident prone runt of the litter, for crying out loud! How was that supposed to make me feel??” I lifted my chin at this last part, “Don’t act like you understand me and what I’ve gone through because you couldn’t even if you tr—“ I quickly trailed off, as I observed what was in front of me.

Instead of meeting her hard and defensive eyes, the first thing I saw was a delicate paper flower, pinched between her finger and thumb. I stared at her, dumbfounded.“I’m so sorry for humiliating you, while you’ve been with me, Alexander. I truly am. I’m sorry you’ve been hurt over and over again by the people who were supposed to care for you. I don’t want to keep doing that. Will you accept this as an apology with a promise that I’ll make it up to you?” She gently twirled the paper sculpture between the pads of her fingers, before continuing, “You’re right. I don’t understand. But I want to. Will you teach me how to be better?” Her eyes were brimming with tears. I stared slack-jawed almost unable to move. Finally, I managed to take two decisive steps, and grip the stem of the flower I had made, just above her finger tips, the moment I latched on, she spoke again, watery eyes seeking mine, “I’m proud of you, Alexander.”

I balked, stumbling away, the air suddenly dissipating from my lungs, “Stop that! D-don’t tease me!!”

“I’m not. I mean it. I’m proud of you. You’ve overcome so much just to be here…”

In my clamoring back, I hit my legs on the corner of the textbook and collapsed in a seated position on the stack of pages, “Natalie!!” I groaned out a warning. My breath was hitching as my face grew hot, my brow furrowed as deeply as it could and tears pricked at my eyes. I won’t cry in front of her, I won’t cry in front of her, I won’t….

“You have every right to love yourself. You should be more than proud of the man you’ve become.”

With a cracked sigh, the dam I had so meticulously built over the years, burst open. I began to weep.

**************

The second he started to sob, burying his head in his hands, I couldn’t help the tears streaming down my own cheeks. Very slowly, gently, I laid the little flower he’d made for me at his feet, releasing my grip on it as it softly fell onto the surface of the desk. I was about to remove my fist from his personal space when something completely unexpected happened. He rushed forward, throwing his body in the gap between my index and thumb, wrapping his arms around the base of my thumb and squeezing as tightly as he could. For a moment, I panicked, lifting up so that he wouldn’t accidentally bend his injured knee.

Once he was standing upright, I relished in the significance of this moment. His cheek was slick with tears as he buried his face into my hand, his shoulders wracked with sobs. Slowly, slowly, I wrapped my fingers around his little body, embracing him back.

Even as I thoroughly rejoiced in this moment of tenderness between us, I felt deep and profound shame slither into my thoughts. I hadn’t been much better than his former owner. Sure I hadn’t beat him or forced him to work for me… but I also hadn’t treated him with the respect he deserved. Far from it. No wonder he was so belligerently angry with me all the time. I was treating him as I saw him: a heart-wrenchingly adorable little living doll that I could pick up and talk to when I wanted and could toss in a drawer when I didn’t.

My chest ached that it took him reacting to me like an abuser to finally get that. I never wanted him to flinch away from me like that again. I’m sorry I failed you. Give me a second chance?

His wracking sobs had quieted down to sniffles now. With shame filled eyes he hazarded a glance up at me, sort of leaping back from his compromising position of clinging to my thumb for dear life. I released my hold around him and made sure he found his way to sitting without hurting himself. Wiping his eyes with the back of a hand he sighed, smiling wryly, “Well, that was…. Embarrassing…” we both couldn’t help but laugh at this. I reached for a Kleenex and ripped off a small piece for him. He took it, gingerly, and began to clean himself up, “Th-thank you.” I wiped my own eyes with the rest of the sheet.

“I’m sorry for everything you went through. I promise I’ll do my best not to piss you off so much moving forward. I won’t stick you in a box anymore….” Another tear streamed down my face as I finally realized, with shame, how disrespectful that had been.

“It really doesn’t matter where you put me, if I don’t want to be there I promise you I’ll find a way out.”

I couldn’t help laughing, “Oh, don’t worry, I believe you! I haven’t forgotten when you bit me!”

“You deserved it!”

“I admit, I really fucking did!”

“Thank you for finally listening to me and working to not be such a condescending ignorant brute…” there was a sparkle in his eyes as he said this, it was his turn to joke.

���Well it took a lot of screaming for you to finally make sense to my thick, dumb skull but I think we got there eventually.”

There was a pause, satisfactory, contemplative. Finally he cleared his throat and addressed me again, “Y-you can pick me up now, if-if you’d like…”

I smiled down at him, chin resting on a propped up hand, “No thanks. I like looking at you right where you are.” There was a flash of something in his eyes, as he smiled. As though that had been a test and I’d passed it. That made my heart swell.

Things are going to be so much better between us from now on, Alexander. I promise.

#Yay our stupid human friend finally gets it #Flashback Chapter #A Fraction of Justice #oc:alexander #oc:natalie #g/t related #g/t community #g/t au #g/t #giant/tiny #giant/tiny community #g/t writing #gt #gt community #g/t angst #g/t fluff

[ratcatcher0325]

A FRACTION OF JUSTICE

(Art by @bottlesandbuttons​). 

SYNOPSIS

***PLEASE READ BEFORE CONTINUING***

This is the story of Alexander, a well-dressed, silver-tongued miniature person, who’s highly intelligent (perhaps, too much for his own good). He has aspirations of becoming the world’s tiniest lawyer. When he meets Natalie, will she help or hinder his progress? 

Set in a universe where miniature people (around 5 inches tall) are kept as pets for the rich, this story follows one very tiny, academically minded man, who, after enduring abuse at the hands of the ignorant humans around him, becomes hell bent on finding a way to fight this oppression through the legal system. Will his case win out? He has to get humans to listen first. When he finds himself allied with one, will she finally be the first to hear his message?

A mixture of fluff and angst, but with much more angst at the beginning (Chapters 1 - 11). Mature (Language, adult themes and violence) but SFW. This story uses the pet trope as a means to explore themes of overcoming trauma and fighting back against abuse, as well as learning to love oneself.

Link to Pinned Masterpost

Size Switch AU: All that Blisters

Chapter #1: Mahogany and Jade Chapter #2: 9-1-1 Chapter#3: Preparations Chapter #4: Who’s at the Door? Chapter #5: Jack of Hearts Chapter #6: Up in Smoke Chapter #7: Backyard Matador Chapter #8: Fore Chapter #9: Roadkill Chapter #10: Inferno Chapter #11: Knock, Knock... Who’s There? Chapter #12: Vestal Livery Chapter #13: Breaking Bread Chapter #14: Test of Knowledge and Skills Chapter #15: Difference and Distance Chapter #16: Pansies, That’s for Thoughts Chapter #17: A Chink in the Armor Chapter #18: For the Love of a Bard Chapter #19: Be this the Whetstone Chapter #20: An Apple a Day Chapter #21: Maladies  Chapter #22: Morbidities  Chapter #23: Malpractices Chapter #24: High or Hell Water Chapter #25: Give a Little Chapter #26: Birds of a Feather Chapter #27: A Balm for the Mind Chapter #28: Rosemary for Remembrance Chapter #29: Flock Together Chapter #30: Uncharted Waters Chapter #31: The Pricking of Thumbs... and Eyes

#A Fraction of Justice #oc:alexander #oc:natalie #g/t related #g/t community #g/t au #g/t #giant/tiny #gt community #size difference #g/t angst #g/t fluff