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mamachasesmayhem · 9 months

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In My Defense, I Was Left Unsupervised

Pairing: Jake x Honey

Warnings: smut, all the smut. 18+, minors DNI. Bratty Honey, brat tamer!Jake, kinks (seriously, there’s a lot of them). Nothing crazy, but it’s spicy!

Summary: Honey surprises Jake when he returns home from a 3 month deployment

Honey

“In my defense, I was left unsupervised.”

Jake has jokingly (but not really) said that’s what will be engraved on my headstone one day on multiple occasions, because of how often I’ve said those exact words.

He’s honestly not wrong, which contributed to my current situation. I might have made a bratty decision not long after Jake left on deployment because I was left high and well, wet, when he shipped out.

We were in the middle of our traditional Fucking Feral Farewell (is it the most romantic name? No. But is it accurate? Absolutely.) and I was on the brink of a fucking mind numbing orgasm when we were rudely interrupted. Apparently, Jake had forgotten to set his usual “you have 15 minutes to cum and hop in the shower before Javy starts banging on the door” alarm, because Javy was, indeed, banging on the bedroom door.

“Seresins! Wrap it up, we gotta go! I’m giving you exactly 4 minutes before I open this door and finish the job for you while you shower, Jake!” Javy yelled through the door, startling Jake and causing his hips to stutter and disrupt his drool worthy strokes.

Given that Javy has had the misfortune of interrupting us probably hundreds of times over the years, Jake and I have learned to tune him out long enough to reach our climaxes. Thanks to over a decade of memorizing each other's bodies, we’ve damn near perfected the quickie for this exact reason. Mind you, I said damn near, not fully perfected. It’s been a hot minute since we’ve found ourselves in a similar situation without the both of us cumming.

Bringing out the big guns, Jake pulls out, flips me onto my stomach, and yanks at my hips until my ass is in the air. One large palm slips between us, slides up my belly and over my sternum, and settles over my rapidly heart as he sinks back into me in a single, quick thrust. With his hip bones pressed hard enough to my ass that I’m sure I’ll have bruises tomorrow, Jake uses the arm supporting my entire upper body to haul my back flush to his chest. His arm is a band of steel with his elbow at my hip, arm running the length of my torso until his large, calloused hand loosely holds my neck. I see stars when he rolls my nipple between the thumb and forefinger of his free hand.

Jake’s close, I can feel it in the way his chest heaves against my back. I can hear it in the harsh breaths against my ear between his words. I can taste it in the way his tongue tangles with mine in a desperate kiss before his teeth dip down to nip at my neck.

“C’mon, Honey. I’m so close and I know you are too. Give it to me, gorgeous. I need you to-uhhh!” His words are cut off by a deep groan as my nails sink into his thick thighs. “Goddamn, baby. You can’t do that shit to me when I’m so close and you haven’t cum all over me yet. Let go, Honey. I’ll be right behind you.”

I push my nails deeper into his skin and he leans down and bites my shoulder in earnest, unintentionally marking my skin with his teeth as he tries to hold himself back. I love pushing him this far, doing what I can to unravel him in the same way he does me, making him fight for control because of how good I make him feel.

Warmth starts spreading from the pit of my belly, flowing out in an attempt to reach my toes and fingertips. The heel of Jake’s hand pushes harder, sealing us together, and I can’t contain the cry that escapes me.

“Ja-!” His name starts to leave my mouth but is cut off by incessant pounding at the door again.

“Yo! I hear y’all still fuckin in there, we gotta roll!”

I have never hated Javy more than I do at this moment.

Jake loses his focus and cums with a loud “Fuck!”

Startled again, the sweet oblivion I was on the verge of diving into slips away, leaving me more frustrated than I’ve ever been and I almost cry.

The doorknob rattles, a sure sign my former brother in love meant what he said and it really is time to go.

“Goddammit, Coyote! I’m comin’!” Jake calls back, forehead dropping against my spine.

“Oh I know, I heard you, ya nasty fuck! Gotta learn how to be quiet, Jesus,” Javy mutters, his voice trailing off as he walks down the hall towards the living room.

“Sweetheart, I am so so sorry,” he starts, hands gently tracing shapes on my skin as he pulls out.

I’m trying so hard to not be mad at him because it’s not his fault, not really. I take a deep breath before I reply, “I’m not mad at you, Flyboy. It’s fine, let’s just get ready before Javy makes good on his promise, yeah? I’ll get dressed while you rinse off.”

I climb off the bed and head into our walk in closet as Jake shamefully shuffles to the bathroom. Thankful for the cooler late spring temperatures so I can easily cover the bruises I’m sure I have, I grab my favorite faded Longhorns hoodie of Jake’s, a pair of leggings, a sports bra, panties, and socks, and quickly dress. I know Jake feels terrible, I have three too many fingers on one hand then I need to count the times he’s finished first and didn’t make sure I got mine too. He’s into edging me, sure, but I’ve never been left hanging like this before.

The irony is not lost on me that his callsign is a direct jab at our sex life. He blew off a fleet week party during midshipman summer because it was my 21st birthday and he swore he wouldn’t miss it.

“I can’t leave her hanging, man!” He’d told Javy in a panic when he couldn’t find his wallet when he needed to leave for his flight back to DC. (Spoiler alert, it was in his backpack. Right next to the heirloom engagement ring he was proposing with the following day.)

The entire dorm heard his almost screech and assumed he was in a hurry to get laid. Which, yeah, he was. But by his future wife. Regardless, it stuck.

Fucking Hangman.

The water to the shower shuts off as I settle the waistband of my leggings on my hips and I wince as I lean down to grab the Nikes Javy bought me the last time he interrupted Jake and I. The frustration of a ruined orgasm is still rushing through my body, irritation simmering under my skin and I grumble snarky complaints under my breath as I pull my hair up into a messy bun.

I’ll admit, I’m being a pouty little shit during the drive over to the marina. Javy unsuccessfully tries to lighten the mood by cracking jokes from the backseat of Jake’s big ass Denali and Jake keeps his fingers tightly tangled with mine after I attempted to pull away a few times. I caved and laid my head against his arm when the sun started creeping over the horizon, not wanting this to be the “see you later” I’ll hold onto for the next 3 months.

“I’ll be home before you know it, you won’t even have time to miss me.”

Jake gives me a sweet kiss and tears well in my eyes, I’ve always been terrible at sending my loved ones away on the carrier. The rest of the Daggers give me quick hugs and trudge onboard the big, gray cloud of sadness named the USS Leyte, knowing my last affections belong to my husband.

“I love you, my Honey girl. Don’t work too much while I’m gone, yeah? Need you well rested and healthy when I get home,” he flashes me the Seresin Smirk ™️ that never fails to kick my heart rate up a few beats.

“I’ll see what I can do,” I shrug back.

Jake all but growls, knowing I’m being a brat and he can’t do shit about it drives him insane.

“You know I love you too, Jake.” I murmur into his hair.

“Behave,” he warns, wrapping me in a tight high and nuzzling his nose against one of the marks he left on my neck.

I pull back, wrap my arms around his neck, and rise up on my tiptoes to give him a kiss laced with all the love in my heart for him. His hands run up down my sides as he reciprocates, lips telling me what words just can’t on days like this. I settle back on my feet and trace my nails through his freshly cropped hair, my eyes locked on his as I mentally prepare myself for his departure.

I step back, placing one last kiss to his cheek before I turn to leave. Never one to not get the last word in, I grin back at him. “When have I ever done that?”

In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

That’s really my only explanation for how I ended up on a leather table in a highly rated tattoo and piercing shop in downtown San Diego with my shirt off a week after Jake shipped out.

Still reeling from one of the worst interruptions of my life, no contact from Jake since his departure, and the absolute fuckery of being a surgical nurse on call during a full moon, I needed to do something to blow off steam and attempt to regain a modicum of control in my life.

It’s not like it came completely out of left field, it’s something I’ve mentioned to Jake before. And Jake was fully onboard with the idea, he just wasn’t excited about having to keep his hands and lips to himself for an extended period of time. Which makes this the perfect opportunity, his return date and the healing time frame line up almost exactly, so I think this may work in my favor. Now, all that’s left to do is keep Jake distracted and from noticing until he gets home…that may be easier said than done.

3 months later

Jake

The day we dock after a deployment is always exhilarating and exhausting. I can’t wait to get off this damn boat, see my wife, shower in my own bathroom (preferably with my wife), fuck my wife, then sleep in my own bed…also with my wife.

Long story short, 3 months is a long fuckin’ time to be away from my Honey. This last mission was more time consuming than normal and Honey was slammed at work, leaving us hardly any time to talk at all. We maybe got 6 FaceTimes in over the course of the entire thing and you’d think I was being tortured for state secrets with how much I hated that shit. Especially combined with the rest of the squadron giving me shit for “whining and being a clingy fucker.” But they’ve seen her, they know her, they love her too. So they get it, they just can’t whine as much as I do.

My entire body is basically vibrating with excitement and I’m so anxious to get off this boat and get home the second I see the shoreline. I waste no time in hauling ass off the carrier the second we’re cleared and finding my girl.

“Jake!” She squeals when I drop my bags at her feet and wrap her in my arms. Her legs tangle around my waist on instinct, and we stay wrapped up in each other for a few minutes before I finally set her down.

“Missed you, sweet girl,” I tell her with a loving kiss on her lips. “Let’s get out of here, I smell like I’ve been sharing a bunk with Bradshit for the last 3 months.”

She giggles then picks up my backpack and slings a strap over her shoulder to carry it so I can hold her hand the entire way to the truck inevitably waiting in her dad’s parking spot. I still don’t understand why he hasn’t had my ass doing push-ups and running laps till I puke over that, but I’m not looking a gift horse in the mouth. After tossing my bags in the bed of the truck, Honey throws the keys my way and I snag them midair. We climb in the truck and my hand stays wrapped around her upper thigh the entire way home. My fingers slowly tease a trail from her knee to her upper thigh repeatedly the entire way home and I don’t miss the way she squirms in her seat. I smirk and enjoy the way she reacts to just my touch when she clears her throat and speaks up.

“You hungry, Flyboy? I have a feeling you’ll be needing a little extra energy tonight and could use the carbs, given how we left things when you shipped out.”

Oh shit, I almost forgot about that. Groaning at the memory, my hand grips her thigh tighter. “Sweetheart, I am still so sorry about tha-”

“Jake, baby, I told you I’m not mad at you and I mean it. As long as you make it up to me.” Her grin reaches her eyes and my flight suit gets a little tighter around my crotch.

That mischievous grin alone lets me know she’s in need of a little taming tonight instead of slow, gentle lovin’. I reach over and grab her hand, bringing her knuckles to my lips for a kiss when I reply. “Oh, I plan on doing that and more.”

We spend the rest of the short drive discussing what to have for dinner, settling on steak and grilled veggies. Apparently, I’m predictable, because she’s had steak and chicken marinating in the fridge and waiting to be grilled. Honey sends me to shower alone, much to my displeasure, and gets started on the food. As much as I’d love to spend an hour under the rainfall shower head in our giant walk-in shower (that definitely was renovated to make room for all the activities when we moved in), my hands itch to be all over the woman of my dreams. I don’t necessarily rush through my routine, but I absolutely don’t take my time either. I emerge 20 minutes later, smelling like the sandalwood, orange, and vanilla body wash that Honey gifted me for our anniversary that drives her wild. I decide not to pull any punches when it comes to making it difficult for my wife to keep her hands to herself and only throw on a well worn pair of gray sweatpants before padding to the kitchen.

I almost stop in my tracks when I see the little half pint of a human standing in front of the stove. She’s changed into one my old tshirts, and the hem hitting her mid thigh keeps me from seeing what she has, or doesn’t have, on underneath it. It’s a weakness of mine and she knows it, the little vixen. She’s distracted, hips wiggling to the music playing over the speaker we keep in the kitchen as she lays the fresh vegetables out on the Blackstone she bought for my birthday earlier this year. I slip in behind her, hands skimming up the soft skin of her legs and under her shirt, and place a kiss on her neck. She startles at the unexpected contact momentarily before relaxing into my hold.

“Smells amazing in here, darlin’,” I compliment and she turns in my hold.

“Not as good as you, handsome. Damn I did myself a favor getting you that body wash.” Her nose nuzzles into my sternum and I chuckle when I feel more than hear her take a deep inhale of the smell.

I take advantage of the height difference between us and reach for the steaks she’s set out for me then lay them next to the veggies. Thankfully, my arms are long enough that we can work in tandem, and we stay there, my chest to her back, until all the food is ready. I’m admittedly extra clingy the first week or so after I’m back, so Honey sits in my lap as we eat. While you won’t catch me complaining that we made it through the meal quickly, I quietly wonder why the little tease in my lap hasn’t been more bratty. I know what she wants and I know how she gets, so I’m definitely surprised at her demeanor. I clean my plate significantly faster than her-ship food blows, sue me for practically inhaling the first home cooked meal in months- and lean back in the chair as she eats.

“What are you hiding, Honey girl?” I ask, eyes narrowing at the side of her face I’ve been admiring.

“Huh?” She jumps when I speak up. “Nothing, why?”

Her voice is just a little too high pitched to be believable, and I let her know as much. “So jumpy. I know you, and I know that’s a lie.”

She stands, turns, and straddles my lap before she answers. “Take me to bed and find out.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice!”

My hands grip under her ass and I stand in a blink, happy to carry her to bed. She litters my neck and chest with nips and kisses with every step I take towards our bedroom. I know she can feel my dick hardening against her ass, because she rolls her hips over it. I damn near stumble and pin her to the wall in the hallway. I don’t give a shit how close to the bed we are, my mouth needs to be on her now. I crash my lips against hers with enough force that her head thunks back on the wall before she returns the kiss with the same passion.

“God, Honey, I missed you so much,” I mutter into her neck before sucking hard over her pulse point. She moans in response, and the sound has me hauling her towards our room once again. Once our bed is in sight, I toss her down onto it and my hands immediately reach for her shirt to yank it off. My eyes land on her body, clad in a blush colored matching lace bra and panty set, then almost roll back into my brain at the sight. I take my time, tracing her figure with my eyes, when she pops off.

“You just gonna stare or you gonna do something about it?

I can’t help the smirk that crosses my face. “There she is, there’s my bratty girl. Hands up.” The command in my voice is clear.

“Make me,” she grins.

Yep, she’s back in full force.

“Aw, darlin’. You know how much I love that. But I also know how much you love that. Now, before I go any further, I wanna know what this surprise is. Because as much as I love this sexy little number, that’ll end up ripped by the way, I know it’s not it.” My hands trace up her sides slowly, fingertips just barely ghosting over her skin.

She squirms, needing more than a gentle touch. “You’ll find out soon enough if you do your fucking job this time.”

Her snark has my hands grabbing hers and pinning them above her head as my legs cage hers against the bed. I sit slightly, enough to keep her still but not too much to where I crush her with my weight.

“That’s how you wanna play this? Fine.” I shift back and climb off of the bed. “Clothes off and hands on the headboard. I’ll be right back.”

With that, I turn and walk to the closet, grab a belt and head back to the bed. The scene that awaits me has the belt slipping from my hands and landing loudly on the floor. I’m pretty sure my brain short circuits as I try to process what I’m seeing. Honey’s pearly white teeth have her bottom lip trapped between them, surely trying to hold back giddy giggles, as my eyes stay locked on the shiny new additions staring back at me.

Honey

I don’t try to tamper the heat in my eyes or the triumphant smile on my face as I watch the gears in Jake’s head spin so hard that they smoke. I do manage to not giggle, but only barely, by biting my lip. I give him a second to take in the new piercings adorning my nipples and have no control over my own mouth.

“See something you like, Lieutenant?”

I don’t miss the way his cock twitches against his sweatpants at the use of his title.

Sucker.

Ever the southern gentleman, he asks “is it ok if I touch? Have they healed enough?”

Fucking hell, it’s so sexy that he asks for permission.

I trace my fingers over my breasts before they land on my nipples, pinching and rolling the small barbells between them. “Why do you think I did it while you were gone? I wanted to have plenty of time to heal before you got back, I know you can’t keep your hands or tongue to yourself when you’re these babies are involved. Do your worst.”

And just like that, he snaps. “Hands. Back. Up.”

He moves at the speed of light, grabbing his belt back up off of the floor, looping it around my wrists, and anchoring it to the headboard. He pushes my legs apart, settling his muscular body between them.

“You know, this explains a lot. Normally you’re fuckin’ feral, sending me pictures of your tits on the regular. But I didn’t get many, if any, now that I think about it.”

His hands start at my ankles and make a painfully slow trek up my body as he speaks.

“I’ll admit, I’m impressed you kept this a secret for so long. You normally fold like a lawn chair when you’re excited about something, what kept you quiet this time?”

His thumbs are sliding back and forth under each breast and goosebumps rise on my skin. I arch my back towards him, hoping he’ll get the message and finally put his hands where I want them the most.

Instead, he flattens his hands and pushes my back to the bed. “Ah ah, talk first. If you’re a good girl, I’ll reward you.”

I whine but give in quickly. “I was still frustrated a few days later, you know I can’t get myself off like you do. So I went and got them done. Then I kept them a secret cause I was worried you’d be mad that I did it. But I realized you’d love it and decided to make it a surprise for you.”

“Oh sweetheart, I’d never be mad at you for this.” His eyes soften for just a second, long enough for me to read the sincerity in them before it’s gone again. “I would never control what you do to your body, especially not when it’s this fuckin’ sexy.”

His thumbs finally trace over the bars in my nipples and I almost pass out at the feeling. “Oh fuck, Jake!”

“Mmm, so sensitive. Just when I thought you couldn’t get any better.”

Jake’s thumbs continue at a slow pace, gently rolling the bars in my skin, as he latches his lips on my neck. He travels from one side to the next, littering my neck and chest with kisses and bites, and I squirm uncontrollably in an attempt to gain some friction. I try raising my chest up, hoping to direct his mouth to the warming metal under his thumbs.

Not one to miss a thing, Jake notices immediately. “You want them in my mouth, pretty girl? Beg.”

“Please, Jake!”

“Please what, Honey?”

I love how much his dominance affects me, I can feel myself soaking his sweatpants at his tone. “Please please please put my nipples in your mouth! I’ve been dying to see how it feels when you suck on them, when you lick them, to have you roll them between your teeth now that they’re pierced. Just like we talked about before.”

“Atta girl. That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

I don’t have time to reply before he does as I ask. He dips his head to run his tongue over the left, spitting on it before moving to the right. His lips seal over the right, rolling the free one between his thumb and forefinger in a drool inducing pattern. His tongue runs circles around the hard bud in his mouth, and I grind my hips against his on instinct. My hands pull against the belt, desperate to sink into his hair and pull on the soft strands. Jake sees this and switches sides, sucking even harder than before. My legs lock around his waist, anchoring his hips to mine as I roll against him, seeking my high.

“Jake! Holy shit! I’m gonna- AHH!”

I collapse back into the bed after one of the quickest and most intense orgasms of my life. I look down and see the front of Jake’s sweatpants stained a darker color gray than the rest of them.

“Shit, Honey. That was hot.” He pulls back and looks down at me before leaving a light kiss to my lips. “That was for leaving you hanging when I left. Now you get to take your punishment for keeping these sexy tits from me while I was gone.”

He reaches up and releases my hands from the belt, gently rubbing over the red marks left behind. He pulls me forward to sit at the edge of the bed as he stands and pushes his sweatpants off. My mouth waters at the sight of his hard, leaking cock and I gasp when his hands grip my hair.

“Open.” His voice is deep and full of authority as he takes his cock in hand, pumping slowly.

My mouth opens and my tongue sticks out immediately, my body on autopilot and ready to do as I’m told. I lean forward, ready to take him in my mouth but he pushes me back, just before my tongue makes contact. I can’t help but whine, desperate to feel the weight of him on my tongue again.

“Not yet, baby. I just wanna look at you for a minute, all needy for my dick in your mouth with your pretty new toys out on display for me.”

I try to be patient, I really do. But I’ve been craving his touch, his taste, for months. And I’m not above begging.

“Jake, please.”

The hand in my tightens and yanks my head back hard. He finally pushes me closer, letting the first inch of his impressive length rest heavy on my tongue.

“You just had to be impatient, didn’t you? That’s fine. But now you’re gonna shut the fuck up and swallow my dick like a good girl.”

I have zero warning before he pushes my head and plunges deep, hitting the back of my throat and making me gag around him. His responding moan is downright sinful and I clench around nothing. I know this first welcome home round is gonna be hard and rough, and I can’t wait.

Jake pulls back to where only the tip is in my mouth and sets a rhythm, slowly getting me used to his size again. My lips stretch around him as he works his way further into my throat with each stroke, pausing when my nose is pressed to his pelvis and making me moan around him. Jake pulls all the way out and I gasp the rush of air that fills my lungs. Before I can whine, he pushes me back, walks to the other side of the bed, and pulls me until my head is hanging off the edge. Oh, I like where this is going.

He wastes no time in diving back in, hips thrusting with no holds barred, full on fucking my throat. Tears of pleasure drip from my eyes and I’m moaning like a whore around him. I’m sure the sheet beneath me has a visible wet spot and I’m glad I washed the sheets in preparation for his return. Jake’s starting to lose control, I can tell by the way his thighs flex under my hands and his breathing speeds up.

“You want me to cum down that pretty throat, darlin’? Huh? Wanna swallow everything I give you?” He asks, reaching down and placing a palm over my throat.

I moan and try to nod my response and I know he understands.

“Fuck, I can feel myself right here. That’s so sexy, Honey.” He groans then surprises me by pulling all the way out again. “Well too damn bad, I need to be inside you. Get up, lay on your stomach for me.”

I do as I’m told and get a slap on my ass in approval as I turn around.

“God, sweet girl. You’re soaked. You like sucking my cock that much?” Jake asks, bracketing his thighs with my own.

“Yes, Lieutenant.” My voice is hoarse from having his dick down my throat and we both love it.

Jake lines himself up, tip teasing the wetness before he’s ready to push in.

“Rules, Honey?” He never fails to ask when he’s rough and I love him more for it every time.

“Say ‘Rooster’ if I want you to stop immediately, ‘cactus’ if I need you to back off and give me a second, tap three times if I can’t say ‘Rooster’ and two if I can’t say ‘cactus.’” I recite easily.

“Good girl,” he says, filling me in one thrust.

I’m so wet that there’s no resistance and I cry out when he brushes my cervix.

“Easy, darlin’. I gotcha,” Jake coos.

Before I know it, we’re in the exact same position we were when Javy ruined my pre-deployment orgasm. My back is pressed against Jake’s chest, arm snaked across my body, hand at the base of my throat. Only this time, he slides his palm up and squeezes.

“Oh shit, Jake! God you feel so good, you fill me so well baby. Oh fuck I missed you,” I babble out, fucked brainless by my husband.

“That’s my good girl, tell me how good it feels. How much you missed me. How I do it better than anyone ever has or will.” His hips pick up speed, the tip of his cock brushing over the spot that has me seeing stars.

My legs threaten to give out under me and Jake tightens his hold on me. “I’ll only ever want you, Jake. I love you, you’re mine. I’m yours. I need you, ohmygod you feel amazing. I missed your big cock so much. Oh fuck!”

“That’s my girl. My perfect little wife, all fucked out on my dick. You wanna cum, Honey? Huh? You wanna soak my lap and our sheets, make our room smell like sex for the next week?” The thumb anchored to my hip moves up to my nipple and he rolls the metal between his fingers.

“Yes! Please, lieutenant! Let me cum, I need it so bad!” I’m basically sobbing as I beg for my release.

Jake pinches harder at my nipple and presses the sides of my throat, slowing blood flow but not oxygen. I’m proud of the fact I’ve taught him so well, but that only lasts a second before he’s nipping at my ear.

“Cum.”

The single syllable is all I need, and I cum harder than I ever have before with a scream, babbling what I think is Jake’s name and thank yous. He isn’t far behind me, sinking his teeth into my neck and moaning as he fills me, his warmth flooding me and knocking me into another orgasm.

Jake pulls out and rolls over, making me whine at the loss of him. He chuckles. “Don’t wanna squish you, sweetheart. C’mere.”

I burrow into his chest as we both slow our breathing, I’m soothed by his warm skin and steady heartbeat under my cheek. I trace mindless shapes across his chest as he cards a hand through my hair. I start to drift off, my eyes heavy with exhaustion and comfort.

“Nope, you gotta pee and shower first.” He knows the rule well after so long, so he scoops me up, totes me to the bathroom, and starts the shower as I go about my business.

On limp noodle legs, I stumble into the shower to rinse off, Jake surely changing the sheets quickly before joining me. Avoiding my hair because he knows I hate sleeping on wet hair, Jake helps me wash before rinsing himself. We towel off and he scoops me up and totes me back to a clean bed. I crawl under the covers and curl up on Jake’s chest again, ready to sleep into a deep sleep for the first time since he left.

With his fingers tracing soothing circles on my back, tempting me to sleep, he speaks up. “I’m gonna get pictures of those all the time now that I know, right?”

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desert-fern · 8 months

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A Gun Amongst Daggers - Jake “Hangman” Seresin X Fem!Navy Seal Reader

Part 18: But I Know Who I Am Now (I Am Yours)

Summary: When Jake meets a woman at the Hard Deck, the last thing he expects is for her to be a Navy Seal. And not just any Seal, the Commander of Seal Team 3. She’s beautiful, smart, dangerous, and everything about her just makes him want to get close. Her name? Bear. When the Seals need backup, Cyclone puts the Daggers on their radar and now, Jake has to work with Bear and her team, all the while trying to stay professional. Can he do it? Or will he end up falling for the Navy sniper and mission Commander?

*GIF found on Pinterest*

A/N: Chapter title taken from I Am Yours by Andy Grammer

MINORS DO NOT ENGAGE! 18+ ONLY. MINORS & BLOGS WITH NO AGE/EMPTY BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED.

Warnings: hospital setting and the stuff that comes with that, some minor angst, unconsciousness, blood, fist fight, Jake beats the shit out of someone and it’s a little hot, bruises, this is still pretty fluffy, author is trying to redeem herself.

Word Count: 3.7k

Masterlist >> Part 17 >> Part 19

===

Jake’s feet slid over the tiled floor of the infirmary in his haste to get to Bear. He knew that he was getting strange looks as he dodged nurses and medics as they went about their business, but he couldn’t find it in him to care what they thought. He had had a realization that was more pressing than anything in his life. If Bear loved him, and Jake was almost certain she did, he had to be the one to act. Her rank prevented her from doing so, it always had. Now though, it was different. She wasn’t his direct superior any more, and that gave him this opportunity.

He had been running through a speech, words he would say to her as he made the trip from the showers to her room, but nothing seemed to quite capture the depth of his feelings for her. Bear was special. She deserved nothing less than the best, especially after everything that had happened in the last couple of weeks. So Jake had to get this right.

He walked through the door to her room, stopping whatever conversation Rooster and Phoenix were having. “Hey.”

“Hi,” Phoenix replied. She had a very curious look on her face, but it quickly shifted to a smirk as she took him in. “Finally realized it, didn’t you?”

“Shut up.” Jake knew his face was bright red and the knowing looks from both Rooster and Phoenix only made his embarrassment worse. “Seriously. Shut it.”

“Karma’s a bitch, Seresin,” Rooster said with a laugh. “You made fun of me and my girl for how long? It’s only fair I get the same honor.” The look on his face was making Jake regret ever opening his mouth, and that never happened. And that fucking Chicken looked smug as hell.

Jake just groaned, scratching at his jaw. “And I shouldn’t have done that, but it got you two idiots together. So just get out. Please. I have to talk to her.”

The other man’s face softened, just a little. “Fine. Go get her.” Rooster clapped Jake on the arm before getting up and leaving. “I was hungry anyways.”

“Asshole!” Jake yelled out the door at his retreating figure. “Thanks Nix.”

Phoenix just grinned at him. “You finally clued in, didn’t you? Your dumbass just realized that she loves you.” The look on her face was pure glee, a look no one saw very often, and now it was staring him down. “Jake. Relax. You’ll be okay.”

“I know. I appreciate this.” He’d stuffed his hands in his hoodie pockets, awkwardly shifting his weight from foot to foot.

Her smile grew and Jake knew that she had understood him. “I know you do, even if you can’t say how much.” Her tone was soft and Phoenix gave him a nod before slipping out the door, closing it gently behind her.

Finally, Jake was left alone with Bear once more. Like he had before leaving, he let his eyes trail over her, searching for any sign that she was awake. Any muscle twitch, a sign, anything. But there was nothing. So he took his seat once more, his hand finding hers and blew out a breath. He had time to practice his speech, he might as well use it.

“Teddy, since I met you… No I can’t say it like that. I’m not proposing,” Jake stopped his train of thought, and tried to start again. “Teddy, I have literally no idea how to say this - fuck me! Why can’t I just say it out loud? It’s three fucking words!” He groaned, his chin dropping to rest against his chest, staring down at his and Bear’s joined hands.

He took a deep breath, blowing out his exhale, before looking back up. “I shouldn’t have to think about it. Mama said that when I know, I’ll know. Don’t think, just do…” Jake pulled a face, suddenly thankful his back was to the door. “Fucking hell Teddy, you’ve got me so bent outta shape, I’m quotin’ the old man now.”

Running his thumb over the back of her hand, Jake closed his eyes, losing himself in the memories of them both. He marveled at her in nearly every one, too caught up on the light in her eyes to do more than just listen to her every word, hang off of it like a child on playground equipment. Pulling his feelings from those memories, he managed to speak. “You took ‘I love you to death’ a little too literally, darlin’,” his voice broke, too emotionally raw to say what he felt without tears. “You nearly did just that to save me. I need to return the favor, Teddy, so I’m gonna love you back to life.”

The room fell silent with only the sounds of his quiet sobs echoing in the stillness. God, he loved her. He loved her more than he had loved anything in the world. Even flying didn’t compare to the swoop his heart did when she was close. Now though, she was both so close and so far away all at the same time. “I love you. I only hope you love me too.”

===

Through the haze, Bear heard a voice. It was distant, but familiar and leading her out of the darkness. The only words she could make out were three of the most distinct: I. Love. You. She couldn’t yet make out who was speaking, but she hoped, she hoped so desperately, that it was Jake on the other side of the fog in her mind. She needed it to be. She had to see him, she had to see her Flyboy.

If it was Jake, she had to talk to him. Bear had to tell him that she loved him back. And she did. If Bear had the energy and the forethought, she would have told him the second she had seen him in the conference room. It had taken hallucinations of waking up in his arms for her to clue in that this wasn’t just attraction. No, Bear loved him. Loved him so much that she would face the armies of the world alone to spare him death. It was unlike anything she had ever felt before and she was both terrified and thrilled that she had figured out why her chest got tight whenever his name was mentioned.

Terrorists couldn’t take him from her, and death couldn’t take her from Jake. If that wasn’t meant to be, Bear didn’t know what was. The voice wasn’t so distant now, nearly loud enough for her to make out everything being said, and she was running towards it, clawing through the shadows and muffled noises until…

Bear heard beeping, the sound of someone stifling sobs, and the same words that had pulled her from the darkness. “God, Teddy. I need you to wake up. I love you too much to let you go like this. Please.”

It was Jake. And he was crying. Her heart broke and she wanted to speak, but her throat was so dry that all she could do was squeeze his hand.

Jake gasped, his tear-filled eyes flying to meet hers. “Teddy.”

“I love you too.” Bear’s voice was raspy from disuse and Jake just stared at her, his hand squeezing hers tightly.

He handed her the water on the bedside table, letting her sip it as he gaped at her, his entire body frozen still. “What?” Jake’s voice sounded strangled as his breath caught in his throat, the cup left forgotten on the table beside him.

“I love you too,” Bear repeated slowly. Her heart was pounding and alarms were going off from the monitors, but all she cared about was hearing Jake say those three beautiful words one more time.

Jake had a knee on her bed in a flash, leaning over her. “Tell me you don’t want this, because I can’t go back to how it was. I just can’t.” His eyes were wide and flicking between her eyes and lips. “Teddy, darlin’ I need you to say somethin’.”

“Kiss me,” Bear whispered. And holy fuck did he. Their lips met and it felt like a vat of chocolate melting in her chest as she kissed him back with everything she could. Trying her hardest to pour every ounce of feeling she had for him into this one gesture, gasping as he tugged on her lip. The cheeky bastard.

For Jake, all he could focus on were the fireworks going off in his head. He deepened the kiss, using her gasp to slip his tongue into her mouth, tangling it with hers.

He finally pulled away, watched Bear’s eyes slowly flicker open and grinning as she blinked back emotion that had filled her eyes. “Flyboy…”

“I’m here, Teddy. I’m not going anywhere.” Jake’s hand found hers, squeezing it tightly before pressing a kiss to the back of it, slowly climbing off of the bed. Seconds later, two nurses burst into the room, eyes flying to the now-awake Bear sitting up in her bed.

“Commander…” one nurse began while the other checked the vitals machine. “Any idea as to why your heart rate is so high?” She shot Bear a wink, knowing full well that the blond man in the corner was responsible.

“I have a few ideas,” Bear managed to say over her giggles at the face Jake pulled behind the second nurse’s back. “I’m feeling alright though.”

“I’m sure you do, ma’am. But let’s do a quick assessment first and then we’ll let you get back to your… friend.”

Her face went bright pink, heat spiraling up her ears. “Sounds good.”

“Lieutenant, I’m going to have to ask you to leave,” the other nurse said, looking at Jake, who then turned to look at Bear.

“I want him to stay.” Her tone had slipped effortlessly back into that of a commanding officer, letting the two nurses know that if they tried to remove him, she would fight back.

They nodded, gesturing for him to sit back down in the chair that they had moved a little ways off from the bed before conducting their assessments. It only took a few minutes for them to determine that she was doing well and left the room, the first nurse hanging back just a moment. “Try to keep that heart rate under control, you two. I know that might be hard with him in the room, but I can’t guarantee any privacy if you two start something.” And with one final wink at the two of them, the nurse left, closing the door again.

“Hear that, Teddy? I gotta control you,” Jake teased, grinning at her. He was just doing this to get a rise out of the woman next to him, who just grinned back, before whipping her arm out to smack him in the stomach.

“Watch it Flyboy,” Bear replied, raising an eyebrow in a feigned stern look. “They’re gonna think that you are the one needing handling.” She was smirking at the red creeping up the back of Jake’s neck, proud of herself for catching him off guard.

But Jake recovered quickly, creeping back towards the bed, eyes fixed on hers. “Careful darlin’, you and I both know that the only thing that needs handlin’ is that mouth. Do I need to shut you up?”

Her face widened in a challenging grin, the familiar spark Jake had often seen in her eyes had been reignited and he felt himself shiver at the intensity gazing back at him. “And the only one doing that handling is gonna be you, right?”

“You’re damn right, Teddy.” His hand cradled her cheek, gently drawing her back in for another soft kiss. “You’re mine. If you want to be.”

“So long as you’re mine,” Bear replied softly, pressing a gentle kiss to the corner of his mouth, grinning as he chased her lips. “This is quite the wake up call, though Flyboy. A half-naked man sitting at my bedside, proclaiming his undying love for me.” Bear had been playing with his hoodie strings as her palms rested on his chest, feeling the warmth of his body through the thin material of his half-zipped hoodie.

Jake glanced down, catching sight of his bare chest near her hands. “I should probably fix that, huh?”

“Or… you could just stay here…”

He groaned. “You promised the nurse that you would keep that heart rate down, darlin’. Don’t start sayin’ shit like that or you will break your promise.”

Bear just winked at him, settling back against the pillows behind her. “Be quick? I missed you.”

“I’ll be as fast as I can. I promise,” Jake leaned down and placed a gentle kiss to her forehead, making her smile as she lay back against the pillows.

===

Jake left the room with a wide grin on his face. Bear was awake, and she loved him too! It literally couldn’t get better than this. He hurried back to the locker room, passing Payback, Bob, and Rooster going the other direction. He gave them a nod, and Bob grinned at him, catching the flush on his cheeks. Out of everyone, the WSO knew exactly what had happened, and yet, Jake couldn’t find it in himself to care.

He was steps away from the locker room door, when it swung open, revealing Shrike leading a very disgruntled and worn out Hazard and Jake saw red. This was all his fault; every single little thing. He was the reason Bear had written her letter, the contents of which he would never reveal to anyone. She had known something was off, she had written it down. And Hazard, Colton, had nearly ruined everything.

Hazard barely had time to react before Jake shoved him back through the door and up against the wall. “YOU MOTHERFUCKER!” Jake roared, the pure rage in his voice bouncing off every tile in the locker room.

But it wasn’t Jake throwing the first punch. No, Hazard got a hand up and punched him in the nose, a malicious grin tearing open on his face. “Whatcha gonna do, you fucking ass? Hit me? You can’t.”

Jake smirked, blood rushing down his face. “That’s where you’re wrong. Mav never said anything about us not beating you half to death. Really wanna try somethin’?” He knew that his eyes held the same fire that had burned in Bear’s when she burst into the room to confront him. But unlike when she had done it, Hazard didn’t seem scared of Jake. “I have no problem with any of it.”

His drawled words, combined with the blood from his nose, were enough to make Shrike smile from her spot in the corner. She and the other Seals were on a tight leash, unable to do more than throw the man a dirty look, so if she had engineered this little meetup, no she didn’t. Hazard deserved everything coming to him, even if she couldn’t be the one to inflict a fraction of the pain her boss had experienced.

Hazard opened his mouth to speak, to make some smart ass comment, when Jake slammed his palm into Hazard’s nose. The yell of pain the Seal let out only made Jake’s smirk widen, his green eyes cruel and vindictive. “Bear took worse than that, and you’re whinin’ like a little bitch?” Jake spat, knowing that Hazard was both cuffed and off his game. “You’re pathetic.”

The Seal took another swing, missing Jake by a mile and the pilot laughed. “Come on. I threw you off? Wow. You ain’t nearly as good as you think you are.” He was cackling now, the anger on Hazard’s face only stoking the rage building with every passing moment. He circled Hazard, grinning widely. “Come on, playboy. Show me why you’re a Seal, hmm?”

Two more missed haymakers had Jake’s smirk growing exponentially. He returned the swings, three blows to the stomach, making Hazard double over, groaning. “Now that’s not in the naval spirit,” Jake hissed, grabbing his opponent by the shirt and slamming him back into a row of lockers. Two quick blows to the side, followed by a knee to the face that left blood on Jake’s sweatpants, had Hazard sliding to the ground. “Oh no you don’t. You don’t get to pass out.”

Jake slapped him across the face, grinning as Hazard’s blue eyes opened and then widened in fear at how close Jake now was. He scrambled back towards the center of the room, feet kicking out and cuffed hands pushing against the tile, doing everything he could to get away from the man before him.

But he was no match for the angry pilot striding towards him with blood still running down his face and staining his chest. “Coward!” Jake growled, pulling the panicked man to his feet and throwing him back into a bench. “You’re just a little bitch, ain’t ya? Brave brave man when betraying your people! BUT NOW? YOU’RE NOTHIN’!” His voice was deafening to those inside. But Jake didn’t care. How could he? His knuckles ached but it paled in comparison to the wrath in his eyes and the hellfire in his blood. Hazard wasn’t getting out alive. Not if he could help it.

In a blink, Jake was on top of Hazard, raining hell down in the form of punches, uncaring if his knuckles were bleeding in time with the traitor’s face. He didn’t know how many times he’d hit the coward, but then Bob and Rooster were pulling him off the other man. “LET ME GO!” Jake roared, fist catching Rooster’s jaw as he struggled. “GET OFF ME!”

Shrike took the moment to move forward, wet cloth in hand. If she took Hazard out of the room looking like his face had been punched in, she could face some trouble. “But let’s be real,” she thought. “People would thank him.” Roughly wiping off the blood, Shrike hauled Hazard to his feet and dragged him out the door. “Pleasure doin’ business with ya, Texas!” Shrike called back as she left the room, bleeding man in tow.

“Dude, what the fuck?” Rooster was looking at his bloody face like he didn’t recognize the man behind it.

“Bastard had it coming,” Jake grumbled, wrenching his arm free from Bob’s grip and stomping over to the sink to wipe the blood off his face and chest. “And don’t tell me you wouldn’ta done the same.”

Rooster scowled at his back, following him. “I wouldn’t have. I-”

Jake whirled around, eyes wild. “Bull fuckin’ shit, Bradshaw! If it were your girl, if someone had hurt your family, you woulda done the same. Hell, even Bob would have fuckin’ done the same!” He was yelling again, uncaring of who heard him.

“She’s not your girl, Seresin. You need to calm down.”

“Get. Out,” Jake ground out. “I beat one man’s ass already today. I’ll do it again.”

“You see this too, right Bob?” Rooster looked genuinely concerned for Jake, as his gaze swung back forth between the two men. “Jake, you trauma bonded. She saved you and got captured as a result. You owe her nothing.”

Jake’s heart sank, anger deflating so suddenly that he nearly collapsed. “It’s-that’s not…”

“I’m sorry, man. But you have to know that,” Bradley said gently. “Bear is amazing and you guys were great friends before this, but beating a man up for her? Surely you have to admit that that is a little excessive.”

“Rooster,” Bob spoke up, seeing the look on Jake’s face. “Leave it, okay?”

“But Bob…”

The WSO shook his head, silencing Bradley’s protests. “He’s been through enough, he doesn’t need this too. Just drop it.” Bob turned to Jake, pausing for a minute as he took in the blond’s conflicted look, before gesturing for Rooster to leave them. “Let me talk to him.”

“Bob-” But when he saw the head shake, Rooster sighed and left.

“You love her.” Bob’s statement made Jake look up at him. “You loved her before we left.”

“I did…” Jake whispered. “God, I’ve loved her for a while. This isn’t a trauma bond. I swear it isn’t.”

“I know.” Jake nodded, chewing on his lip as Bob continued. “You were worried and now you’re doubting everything. All because Rooster of all people got to you? I believe you, Jake and if you say you love her, then I don’t doubt that.”

“You would have done the same, right?”

Bob nodded, eyes darkening just a little. “I would definitely have done the same. You’ve met my wife, you know I would. I also heard a rumor that Bear is awake, you should tell her.”

“I will.”

“Good. Have fun explainin’ the black eye though. Looks like that rat-bastard hit you good.” Bob clapped him on the shoulder and left.

Clearly the bespectacled man didn’t know that he’d already seen Bear. That he’d already told her he loved her. But Bob didn’t need to know, Jake reasoned, pulling on his T-shirt that sat abandoned on a different bench. “Bear loves me back.”

===

Bear sat in her bed, body sagging into the pillows. Every single part of her hurt. Even the end of her nose. A part of her wondered about where Jake was, but figured that he was probably catching up with his team, maybe informing hers that she had woken up. Or maybe, he’d gotten sidetracked by something else.

Either way, Bear let her eyes flutter close, just for a moment. But they flew open moments later at the sound of a crash a few rooms away, making her groan in frustration. She couldn’t even fall asleep without her mind hauling her back to that hellhole. It didn’t matter that the men had left her alone save for their incessant demands for information that she wouldn’t share, it had still fucked her up.

She sat still for a moment before letting her head loll against the pillow, trying to clamber back into that blissful land of sleep that she had left nearly an hour ago to soothe the man with the green eyes that had stolen her mind. Bear was tired of being tired. Exhausted from being afraid, from putting her focus on escaping, and all she wanted was a fucking nap.

This time, her attempt was interrupted by what sounded like Priya shouting “YOU WHAT?!” Even now, on bed rest, despite her forcing the reins of Seal Team 3 back into Bug’s hands yet again, there was still work to be done. Bear only wondered what had her mild mannered second yelling in such a way. Had someone come forward about their involvement in her capture? Or had someone incorrectly filled out a form and caused Bug two hours of extra work?

Either way, Bear felt the exhaustion seep into her bones as she shut her eyes against the fluorescent lighting that seemed to force its way into every pore. She felt like she was under a microscope; every twitch, every rustle, on display for the world to see her wounds.

All she wanted was to sleep, but it had eluded her at every attempt thus far and it was already driving her up the wall.

A nurse passed by the open door and Bear waved her over, asking her if she could shut the lights off. A nod and then a click and the room seemed to fall quiet. The only remaining light came from the open window, but it grew faint the longer Jake was gone and so she reached, pulling at some of her stitches and was able to turn the bedside light on.

It had clearly been brought in for Jake as he spent his time watching over her and the thought sent butterflies racing through her stomach.

He was safe.

And so was she.

Bear could rest easier now. Her hours spent in worry for her team, for Jake, for everyone was over. Bug had it handled and she could lay back and let her team handle it.

So she dozed in her room, waiting for the green-eyed, golden haired man she loved to come back to her.

===

Jake was silent the entire way back to the infirmary, lost in his thoughts. But he was quickly pulled from them when Bear gasped, her eyes catching on the growing bruise around his eyes and nose. “What happened?”

“Hazard.”

“He’s just wandering?” Bear’s eyes flared with anger that the traitor would lay his hands on Jake. “No one’s watching him? Questioning him?” Her hand moved up to trace over his cheekbone, a feather light touch over his bruising eye.

Jake sat on the edge of the bed, catching her hand and pulling it down to rest on her lap. “Teddy. I’m okay. Pretty damn sure Shrike led him into my path, knowin’ that I had his number.”

Her anger suddenly forgotten, Bear grabbed his other hand with hers, gently running a thumb over the broken skin on his knuckles. “You hurt him?”

“I did. Couldn’t let him get away with the shit he pulled, he hurt my girl,” Jake replied softly, meeting her eyes. “I would have killed him if I thought that’s what you woulda wanted.”

Bear shook her head. “Jake, no. His skull is mine. But he will face justice, Admiral Harris has been informed of the situation. All of it,” she told him, her eyes softening as they caught the truthfulness of his words. “I love you. I don’t care how fast it is. I love you.” She raised his hand to her lips, trailing barely-there kisses over his knuckles, only stopping when Jake’s hand lifted her head up to kiss her gently.

“I love you too, Teddy. I love you too.”

Everything else could wait. The world was on pause, Bear thought, as Jake folded himself into her hospital bed, pulling her into his arms and peppering kisses to her face.

He loved her and she, him. What more could be said?

===

A/N: They finally said it! I know I freaked some of y’all out with that nightmare in the last part but I think I made up for it! Big thank you to @startrekfangirl2233 and @sarahsmi13s for being incredible betas. And let’s all thank @dakotakazansky for talking me out of what I had originally planned for these two and for helping me with some replotting!

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