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proxylynn · 6 years

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Underfell: File Name not Edgy Enough #9

Chapter 9: Puzzles WARNING: I WANT NO RESPONSIBILITY OVER SPOILING THINGS FOR OTHERS. THAT BEING SAID, THIS IS HOW FILE NAME NOT FOUND WOULD FUNCTION IN THE AU OF UNDERFELL. BEFORE YOU READ THIS, UNLIKE THE NICE TIME OF UNDERTALE, THIS WORLD IS KILL OR BE KILLED. THIS STORY WILL BE GRAPHIC, GORY, USE SWEARS LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS, AND DEAL WITH SENSITIVE SUBJECT MATTERS. FOR EXAMPLE, THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE READ THE FILE NAME RELOCATED SPOOF WILL KNOW HOW I PICTURE THIS VERSION OF LYNSIE COMING TO THE UNDERGROUND. IT IS NOT AN ACCIDENT. IT IS NOT BECAUSE OF SOMETHING DUMB. IT IS BECAUSE SHE CHOOSES TO END HER LIFE. SO TAKE THIS WITH A GRAIN OF SALT. I MADE IT BECAUSE I NEEDED TO LET SOME OF THIS EDGINESS OUT OF MYSELF. WHICH I GUESS MAKES UNDERFELL LYNSIE EVEN MORE TRUE TO WHO I REALLY AM. ANYWAY, ENJOY. ^_^ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "Lynsie...Are you sure it was okay to not get fully healed?" "Flowey, I am not in the mood to deal with Sans's bullshit." "Well...You kind of..." "Don't you fucking dare side with him. I didn't start shit! I ate an ice cream pop. That's all I did. If he wants to think I was doing something suggestive, that's on him and his sinful mind. Not me. So if he wants to be a turd about it, fine." "I don't know. It seems like he was trying to help. Even if he was doing a crappy job doing so." "Oh, so now you trust him?" "Not completely. But monsters don't try to heal others unless they really mean it." "...*sigh* Give me time to cool off. He said some stuff I wasn't ready to hear and I need time to process. Okay?" "Understood. Hard to think that mom would..." "Don't! Don't even say it! I will drop you if you even dare say those next words and not come back." "Uh...H-Hey look! A random signpost. We should read it." Flowey laughs nervously and I roll my eyes. I don't like feeling this way. I want to calm down. I guess I can try doing things his way for a bit. It'll let me clear my head even if only for a little while. So I go over to this thing. Almost instantly we are looking at this thing in puzzlement. "You seeing what I'm seeing?" "I am but I am so unsure right now." [Warning: Dog Marriage] [Yes, you read that correctly.] "Is that really something to be warned about?" "I think it means the dog guards here are a pair. So two dogs in one encounter." "Oh, so like that time those three Moldsmals tripped us up." "Or that time Migosp, Vegetoid, and Loox attacked." "Is three the max limit that can attack me? Because it really feels that way." "Yeah, it's a built-in rule to the Fight Zone's magic." "There are rules to it?" "It doesn't seem like it because most fights are straightforward, but there are a few that were made a very long time ago. Like the max per fight is a 3v3. But a little-known rule is that none fighting people can enter the zone mid-fight and not be involved." "How does that work?" "When a fight starts, a special kind of magic activates. This magic is called the Fair Fight Field and it takes the form of a grid that only the ones involved can see." "I was wondering what that thing was." "The grid makes sure that those in the fight are the only ones to be there. Keeping others out that would join in and fight as well. This is the part that gets odd. Those with negative intentions can't enter the field, but those with positive or no intentions can enter it." "Good luck on that ever happening here." "True. The odds of that happening are about as rare as someone helping you in a fight." "Wait...So you wouldn't help me?" "Not if I don't have to." "Awww...You do care." He groans and I keep reading. [SMELL DANGER RATING] [Snow Smell - Snowman WHITE Rating - Can become YELLOW Rating] [Unsuspicious Smell - Puppy BLUE Rating - Smell of rolling around.] [Weird Smell - Humans GREEN Rating - Destroy at all costs!] "So I'm a weird smell? Do you think snow and blood will cover that up?" "*shrug* Maybe? But why is the word green in red?" "Dogs have a form of color blindness. Maybe that's the way they can see that color." "Huh. Did not know that." "HUMAN!" Papyrus comes following our not so discrete trail. "Hey, Papyrus. Something the matter?" He paces his way up to me. "SEEING AS YOU'RE NOT DEAD, NO, NOTHING'S THE MATTER." I look at him funny and he glares. "DON'T GIVE ME THAT LOOK. I DON'T CARE IF YOU ARE HURT OR NOT. ALL THAT MATTERS TO ME IS THAT YOU ARE MY TARGET AND NO ONE ELSE'S. I DON'T WANT THE DOGS IN THIS AREA TO STEAL WHAT IS RIGHTFULLY MINE." I can't help the small blush that creeps onto my face. His possessiveness touches on my inner need to feel wanted. Even if it's not the best reason to have this feeling, try telling that to my stupid needy soul. "Well then...I am pleased to hear that. Because frankly, I don't think these dogs are worth my time." He cocks an eye at that but the smirk he has tells me he liked what he heard. "So...Where's your bro?" "SANS HAS BEEN SENT AHEAD TO INFORM THE MUTTS THAT YOU ARE TO BE LEFT TO US TO HANDLE." "Are you sure that they will listen to him? After all, you did say it was odd for someone to listen to Sans." "HMMM...YOU DO HAVE A POINT. VERY WELL. I SHALL PERSONALLY ESCORT YOU TO EACH PUZZLE AND PREVENT THOSE CANINE NOBODIES FROM DISOBEYING THEIR COMMANDING OFFICER." "I'm gonna take a wild guess and say you don't whack them on the nose with rolled up newspaper when they are bad dogs." "REPLACE THE WORD 'NOSE' WITH 'BODY', THE WORD 'WHACK' WITH 'BEAT', AND THE WORD 'NEWSPAPER' WITH 'BASEBALL BAT' THEN YOU'D BE MORE CORRECT IN THAT IDEA." "Damn! Royal Guard Papyrus doesn't play around." He smiles a bit with pride before stepping past me. "COME ALONG, HUMAN. THE NEXT PUZZLE IS NEAR." It's weird. He makes me feel chipper. Like, I know he's an ass. But he has these moments where you can forget he's an ass and can be a bit pleasant almost. "Sure, Papyrus. Anything you say." "OBEDIENCE? NOW THERE'S SOMETHING I CAN GET USED TO." "Don't be a jackass and you'll find I'll be very willing to listen." "NOTED." I follow him for a bit till he stops at double row of spikes blocking the way. "Yo, what gives?" "WE'VE STOPPED BECAUSE THIS IS THE NEXT PUZZLE. TO PROGRESS ANY FURTHER, YOU MUST FIND THE SWITCH THAT LOWERS THESE SPIKES. OTHERWISE, YOU AND I AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE." I give him a look. "I bet the switch is in that other part of the area we didn't even look at." He flinches and I scoff. "For real? You guys made it that easy?" "N-NO. THE SWITCH IS CAREFULLY HIDDEN AND BLENDS IN WITH THE LAND. THERE'S NO WAY YOU'LL FIND IT SO..." "It's in the snow, isn't it?" He gets this look of embarrassment and rage mixed together. A clear sign telling me to leave. "I'll go flip the switch. Be right back." "*STERN* YES. YOU GO DO THAT." I travel back up the way we came and make a right where three trees hide a square indent in the snow that sits in the middle of them. [There's a switch hidden in the snow.] "It's insulting that they made this one so easy." "Could've been worse. That microwave one was stupidly crazy." "I get the feeling the last half of these puzzles are going to be lame." I step in the center of the square. [Click!] [The switch is stuck now.] "...Did this thing just call me fat?" "Before you freak out, try pressing it again." I step off and step back on. [Click!] "Okay. Now I'm not so annoyed." I step back again. [Click!] "*YELLS* QUICK DICKING AROUND OVER THERE!" The two of us snicker and return to bothered Papyrus. I surmise his mood based on the folded arms and foot tapping. "Something bugging you, oh great and terrible, Papyrus?" "*GROWL* GET MOVING, HUMAN. THERE ARE THREE MORE PUZZLES BEFORE WE REACH TOWN. AND THE NEXT PUZZLE IS BROKEN INTO THREE PARTS WITH INCREASING DIFFICULTY." "So you do know how to make a proper puzzle? I'm shocked." He readies his hand to strike me again but pauses mid-swing when I wince at the impending hit. "THAT MOUTH OF YOURS WILL GET YOU KILLED. YOU'D DO BEST TO LEARN HOW TO KEEP IT SHUT BEFORE I LOSE ME PATIENCE. AM I CLEAR, HUMAN?" Is he showing restraint? Best not poke this bear and take what little good he offers. "Yes, sir." He motions me to start moving and I obey. He walks behind me as we make our way past the spike line and over a small bridge. The path continues to our right and all seems well. This isn't the case for long as two figures begin to approach. Papyrus puts his hand on my shoulder and pulls me to be at his side. This must be the dog couple. They are near identical in appearance being white furred dogs with red eyes. Both having round snouts, floppy ears, muscular builds that have scars from what I'll guess is fights, and clawed paws. They wear black hooded tattered robes caked with dried bloodstains that have the face of their spouse printed on the front. Their main differences in appearance being the male's thick lowered brow, cowlick, and pseudo-mustache, while the female just has emphasized eyelashes. They both wield large battleaxes that are decorated with eyes that show features imitating those of their owners and fanged intimidating painted mouths. "STAY PUT, HUMAN. I'LL DEAL WITH THEM." "You don't have to tell me twice." They almost end up walking right past us if it weren't for one of them catches the faintest hint of smell. "What's that smell?" "Where's that smell?" I guess blood and snow don't make a foolproof scent shield when in such small amounts. Not even Papyrus's bones divert attention. But I can guess the attraction to bones was beaten out over time. "If you're a smell..." "...identify yoursmellf!" "SUCH ABSIMUL ARTICULATION." "You read my mind." They start sniffing the air as we step away, trying to leave before they give us any real attention. But the sudden stares in my direction alert us to that being not an option anymore. "Hmmm...Here's that weird smell...It makes me want to eliminate." "...Eliminate YOU!" Papyrus summons a bone and I start to growl. "YOU WORTHLESS DOGS WILL NOT LAY A SINGLE PAW ON THIS HUMAN." "We're not single." "We're married." "*GROAN* YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT! DON'T PLAY STUPID!" The brandish their axes. "Weird smell means human." "Humans must be eliminated." Single-minded creatures these dogs be. "Whine. Whimper. Beg. No mercy for the weird smell!" "Misery awaits you. Kneel and suffer!" "I THINK IT'S TIME SOMEONE PUT YOU FLEABAGS DOWN. PERMINATELY!" "Hang on..." I hold his bone down and he snarls harshly. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" "You don't need to kill them." "OH? AND WHAT DO YOU PROPOSE THEN?" I motion him to bend down and I whisper where an ear would be if he had any. "HMMM...NOT THE MOST IDIOTIC IDEA I'VE EVER HEARD. BUT STILL FOOLISH." "Come on. What do you have to lose? If this fails, you get to kill them. I'm sure the second in command to the Royal Guard can easily dispatch two dogs. So why waste your magic, energy, and time on such nonsense?" Papyrus gives me a stern look while in thought. "I SUPPOSE YOU DO HAVE A POINT. SUCH LOWLY THINGS ARE BENEATH ME." "Then we have a deal?" "YES. DO AS YOU WISH, HUMAN." He lets the bone fade and I scoop up some snow. "Yo, doggies. Wanna play fetch?" That seems to strike a chord with the dogs. "Fetch?" "Human's play fetch?" Using some of my blood to smear onto the snow, I make two reddish snowballs and tease them with it. "See the balls? Smell the balls? You want them, don't you? Don't you, puppers?" "PUPPERS?" "Mock me after, not during." Papyrus goes to speak, but seeing as the dog couple is now wagging their tails in excitement, he remains silent and allows me to continue. "You want the balls? Say you want the balls." They bark and drop on all fours. "Then go fetch!" I hurl both snowballs as hard as I can back from whence we came and they shoot off after them. "We should go now before they come back." "AGREED." We continue onward. Papyrus covers our tracks with more snow and that should keep the dogs from tracing our scent. "TELL ME, HUMAN. HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT WOULD WORK?" "'Elementary, my dear Papyrus...They are dogs. And dogs are governed by the most simple of instincts. Even with training, a dog will want to do what it naturally wants to do. Such as getting petted, going for walks, and of course, playing fetch. I merely exploited this and thus, we are able to go about our merry way." He chuckles and pats my back. "CLEVER GIRL. YOU SURPRISE ME WITH SUCH DEVIOUS TACTICS. I MUST REMEMBER TO TAKE THAT INTO CONSIDERATION WHEN WE MEET ON THE BATTLEFIELD." "Do not take me so lightly. I will not use tricks on you." "REALLY?" "Mostly because I don't wish to fight you." "HEH HEH...FRIGHTENED ALREADY I SEE?" "Fear has nothing to do with it. I just know better than to mess with the guy that halved my HP with a simple smack." "MMMM..." "What? What was that for?" "NOTHING. JUST THINKING OF HOW MUCH I'M GOING TO ENJOY CRUSHING YOU IS ALL." "Hey, don't think just because I don't want to fight you that'll mean I'll go down easy. I took on an LV level 3 Boss Monster and won." "IS THAT SO? WELL THEN...IT SEEMS YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY MAKE THINGS INTERESTING AFTER ALL." "What does that mean?" "I NOTICE YOU ARE AT AN LV LEVEL OF 1. NOW WHILE YOU DO POSSESS A RATHER DECENT ARRAY OF STATS, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE HAD AN EASY TIME AGAINST A MONSTER AT LV LEVEL 3. WHICH CAN ONLY MEAN ONE OF TWO THINGS." "Oh, do tell." "ONE, YOU CHEATED." "I did not!" "OR TWO, YOU WERE SKILLED ENOUGH TO COME OUT ON TOP." "That one. That one I did." "HOWEVER...IF YOU DID WIN SUCH A FIGHT, THEN SURELY YOUR LV WOULD HAVE INCREASED. WHICH LEADS ME TO BELIEVE YOU ARE A DIRTY CHEATER." "Bullshit! I am not a cheater! I won all my fights fair and square! The only reason my LV is still at 1 is because I don't kill anyone I fight!" He stops in his tracks in confusion. "YOU DON'T KILL YOUR OPPONENT?" "No." "WHY?" Now I'm the confused one. "What do you mean why? I don't want to kill anyone and I don't have to in order to win." "BUT YOU'RE WASTING EXP. THE MORE YOU GET, THE STRONGER YOU WILL BECOME." "I've been getting strong fairly well without resulting in murder, thank you very much." "THEN YOU ARE DOOMED TO MEET YOUR END HERE, HUMAN." "What did I tell you? Don't think just because I don't want to fight you that'll mean I'll go down easy. I have no intention of dying. I have someone that cares about me too much to let her down. So whatever mind fuckery you or your bro plan on doing to mess me up, well just forget it. Ain't nothing gonna bring me down!" "CHECK ME." "W-What?" "I SAID, CHECK ME." I have a bad feeling about this. [CHECK selected.] [Papyrus – HP: 4000 ATK: 200 DEF: 200 – He likes to say: "Nyeh heh heh!"] I feel all the blood drain from my face and he grins with arrogance in knowing that he got me. "DO YOU SEE NOW, HUMAN? THOSE ARE THE STATS OF NOT ONLY AN LV LEVEL 6 MONSTER, BUT AN LV LEVEL 6 MONSTER THAT CAN AND WILL ENJOY EVERY MOMENT BREAKING YOU UNTIL YOU ARE BEGGING ME TO PUT YOU OUT OF YOUR SAD MISERY." I have made a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad mistake in leaving the Ruins. "WHAT SAY YOU NOW, HUMAN? DO YOU STILL THINK YOU CAN FACE ME AND LIVE?" [You feel like you're going to have a bad time.] "I'LL TAKE YOUR SILENCE AS A NO. REALIZATION CLEARLY GRIPS YOU. NOTHING THAT WILL POP INTO THAT HEAD OF YOURS WILL BEAT ME. NO TRICK IS TOO CLEVER. NO SKILL IS TOO PERFECT. YOU ARE WHAT YOU ARE. AND THAT, HUMAN, IS WEAK. AND ONCE THE SMOKE CLEARS AND YOU LIE DEAD IN THE SNOW, I, THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE PAPYRUS, WILL CLAIM YOUR SOUL AS MY PRIZE. WITH IT, I WILL ACHIEVE MY ULTIMATE GOAL! WILL GET ALL THE THINGS I UTTERLY DESERVE! RESPECT...RECOGNITION...I WILL FINALLY BE ABLE TO TAKE MY RIGHTFUL PLACE AS CAPTAIN OF THE ROYAL GUARD! PEOPLE WILL BOW IN MY SHADOW! I WILL BATHE IN A SHOWER OF MY ENEMIES BLOOD EVERY MORNING. I WILL BE THE ONE! I MUST BE THE ONE! I WILL SHOW YOU ALL WHO IS THE GREATEST MONSTER OF ALL TIME!" He laughs maniacally into the wind and I am filled with so much regret right now. This dude is nuts. A tiny bit sad in his motives, but way too crazy for me to handle with this level of ambition. I'm just gonna slowly walk away. Maybe he won't notice if I... "LEAVING SO SOON?" I flinch with a nervous laugh. "Leaving? N-No...No I wasn't leaving. I was just...going to get ahead start on the next puzzle! Yeah! We have so many puzzles to do! Best not waste more time. Hehe..." He eyes me funny. "YOU'RE AS BAD AS SANS WHEN IT COMES TO LYING. BUT...YOU'RE NOT WRONG. WE'VE SPENT ENOUGH TIME DADDLING." He drags me a bit further to a spot where fifteen stones are set up like an H with two blue Xs in the open spaces. A sign is near it. [Turn every X into an O. Then press the switch.] "Okay...And how I do that exactly?" "THE XOXO PUZZLES ARE PUZZLES WHERE YOU HAVE TO TURN ALL THE BLUE X'S INTO RED O'S WITHOUT STEPPING ON THE O'S AGAIN OR ELSE THE TILE TURNS INTO A GREEN TRIANGLE. PRESSING ON THE SWITCH FOUND IN EACH PUZZLE RESETS THE SWITCH IF THE PUZZLE IS INCOMPLETE. PRESSING ON THE SWITCH WHEN ALL THE TILES ARE RED O'S SOLVES THE PUZZLE AND TURN THE PUZZLE INTO GREEN O'S. THERE ARE THREE VARIANTS OF THIS PUZZLE THAT CAN BE FOUND IN SNOWDIN FOREST. THIS IS THE SIMPLEST OF THE THREE. I EXPECT YOU TO SOLVE IT WITH NO ISSUE." This first version of the puzzle only contains two tiles that need to be stepped on and the switch is nearby. Seeing as there are spikes once more blocking the way, completion of this puzzle gets rid of the spikes. I walk over one X and jump over the center rock to land on the other X. Now both are red O's and I hit the switch to make the spikes drop. "Tah-dah!" "EXCELLENT. WE MAY PROCEED WITH NEXT STAGE." We continue on for a bit till the path becomes blocked by a snarling armored dog. This dog's fur is a light cream color, red eyes, and its red tongue appears to be perpetually lolling out of its mouth. It wears gray metal armor with a black band around the waist and wrist areas. It holds a serrated sword and a spiked shield with the Delta Rune emblazoned on it. "STAND DOWN, LESSER DOG. THIS DOESN'T CONCERN YOU." Lesser Dog growls defiantly. "ANOTHER STUBBORN MONGREL. CARE TO DEAL WITH IT FOR ME, HUMAN?" "Really?" "JUST BE QUICK ABOUT IT." "As you wish." I step forward and Lesser Dog bangs its sword on its shield. "Cute. Now...How to go about this? Hmmm...Flowey?" "You called?" "What do we have in there that doesn't contain chocolate or tomato?" "Let me see..." Flowey roots around for a bit before pulling out a bag. "Will a bologna sandwich work?" "Perfect." I snatch the bag and tear a chunk off. "*whistle* You hungry, pupper? Want a treat?" "AGAIN WITH THE PUPPER?" "Don't hate because I get shit done." Lesser Dog's growling lessens and it cautiously takes a few steps toward me. "It's okay. I'm not gonna do anything. You can have this." Once Lesser Dog is with an attack range of me, it holds the shield up at the ready and moves closer with that sword aimed at my chest. Slowly it leans it's head out to my outstretched hand and sniffs the food before lapping it up. Its tail is wagging, a very good sign. "Good, right?" "*tiny bark*" "Want more?" "*bark*" I tear off more sandwich and feed Lesser Dog. We repeat this till the food is gone and Lesser Dog has gotten more trusting. This allows me to begin petting it. Oddly though, the more I pet Lesser Dog, the more its neck begins to grow. And each pet is met with that annoying box smarting off to me. [You barely lifted your hand and Lesser Dog got excited.] [Lesser Dog is barking excitedly.] [You lightly touched the Dog. It's already overexcited...] [You pet the Dog. It raises its head up to meet your hand.] [You pet the Dog. It was a good Dog.] [Lesser Dog is overstimulated.] "OKAY, HUMAN, YOU CAN STOP NOW." [You pet the Dog. Its excitement knows no bounds.] [Critical pet! Dog excitement increased.] [You have to jump up to pet the Dog.] [You don't even pet it. It gets more excited.] [Lesser Dog shows no signs of stopping.] "HUMAN, THAT IS ENOUGH." [There is no way to stop this madness.] [Lesser Dog enters the realm of the clouds.] [You call the Dog but it is too late. It cannot hear you.] [...] [You can reach Lesser Dog again.] [You pet Lesser Dog.] [Lesser Dog is lowering.] "I SAID, STOP!" "I can't! I must pet the pupper!" [It's possible that you may have a problem.] [Lesser Dog is learning to read.] [Lesser Dog is unpettable but appreciates the attempt.] [Lesser Dog is whining because it can't see you.] [Hello there.] [Perhaps mankind was not meant to pet this much.] "I SWEAR TO ASGORE, I WILL BREAK YOUR HANDS IF YOU DON'T STOP!" "But I have so much love to give!" [It continues.] [Lesser Dog is questioning your choices.] [Lesser Dog is beyond your reach.] [Lesser Dog has gone where no Dog has gone before.] [Really...] "THAT IS IT!" Papyrus literally has to remove me from petting Lesser Dog so the poor thing can retract its neck. In the entire event of the petting, Lesser Dog's neck stretched all the way to the cave ceiling and came back down before going back up again. I have no clue how it did that, but I'm glad it's not in pain from doing all that. It whimpers and whines, wanting more petting but Papyrus shoots it a glare that makes it flee. Poor thing retreats ahead of us with its tail tucked between its legs. "AMAZING...EVEN IN THAT ARMOR, IT MANAGED TO LEAP OVER THE SPIKES." "Awww...Poor pup wanted more pets." "NO! NO MORE PETTING! YOU HAVE A PETTING ADDICTION. AND THE ONLY WAY TO BREAK YOU OF SUCH A HABIT IS TO GO COLD TURKEY." "That and to keep my mind off the idea of petting." "YES. WHICH IS WHY YOU WILL NOW FOCUS ALL THOUGHT ON PART TWO OF THE XOXO PUZZLE." He puts me down in front of said puzzle. It's the same as the first one, only now there twenty-five rocks in a weird shape and fifteen X's. Even the sign says the same thing. [Turn every X into an O. Then press the switch.] "I see you made this one more interesting." "HMMM... HOW DO I SAY THIS? WHEN WE STARTED ALL THIS, YOU WERE TAKING A LONG TIME TO GET GOING. SO...I DECIDED TO IMPROVE THIS PUZZLE BY ARRANGING THE SNOW TO LOOK MORE LIKE MY FACE. UNFORTUNATELY, THE SNOW FROZE TO THE GROUND BEFORE I COULD CRAFT IT INTO THE PROPER SHAPE. NOW THE SOLUTION IS DIFFERENT BUT STILL AS CHALLENGING. AND, AS USUAL, MY LAZY BROTHER IS NOWHERE AROUND." "How far ahead did you have him teleport anyway?" "eh, not too far." There on the other side of the spikes is Sans. He waves innocently at us and Papyrus stomps his foot in annoyance. "DAMN IT, SANS! WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?!" "don't get snippy with me. i've been doing what ya asked." "THE HELL YOU HAVE! I TOLD YOU TO MAKE SURE THE DOGS WOULDN'T INTERFERE." "what do ya think i've been doing? i took care of greater dog and i got lesser dog away from his post. only now he's back there, thanks to you. did the dogi cause you trouble?" "DOGAMY AND DOGARESSA WERE DEALT WITH BY THE HUMAN." "r-really?" "SHE EVEN DEALT WITH LESSER DOG. SHAME SHE DIDN'T KILL THEM. SHE COULD USE ALL THE EXP SHE CAN GET." I move away to start the puzzle while they do whatever shit they will likely do. The second version of the puzzle is a larger puzzle, true, but not as challenging as they probably intended it to be. The puzzle can be solved by walking over the tiles correctly in one continuous path, but there's a simpler way to do it. I go over each X and step over any rock that blocks me. This solves the puzzle in a shorter time than it would be had I walked around the damn thing. I walk over to the switch and almost push it until something shiny gets my attention. I mosey over to the tree at the start of this little area and move some of the lower branches. "What the hell?" [There's a switch on the trunk of this tree.] "A secret? Should I...Duh! Press the button." [CLICK] Nothing happens. I shrug as I go to the normal switch and push it, causing the spikes to drop down. This gets the bickering brothers attention. "huh, looks like the kid found the safety switch." "CONGRATULATIONS, HUMAN! YOU PASSED THE SECOND PART." My eye twitches. "Safety switch? Why was there a safety switch?" "SIMPLE REALLY. TO STOP THE MOTION DETECTER FROM RELEASING THE SPIKES INTO YOU WHEN YOU ATTEMPTED CROSSING." "What?" All Sans does is shrug as if to answer me for the both of them. I slap a hand over my face and sigh. "The two of you will be the death of me." "THAT IS THE IDEA." "more or less." "EITHER WAY, THE NEXT PUZZLE BEGINS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THIS AREA. SANS, YOU DID REMEMBER TO DEACTIVATE THE MACHINE, CORRECT?" "yeah, yeah, it's off. though it acted funny." "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?" "i don't know. it was like it didn't want to be turned off." "DON'T BE STUPID, SANS. IT'S A MACHINE. IT DOESN'T HAVE A WILL OF IT'S OWN." "whatever. it doesn't matter if ya believe me or not. ya never do." Papyrus looks less angry and now I'm intrigued by this sudden shift. "hey, kiddo..." Sans calls to me and I sprint over to join them. "What's up, skele-dude?" Me using that kidding name again seems to help ease him. "can ya give us a sec to set the puzzle up?" He sounds better. A little less gruff but still edgy. I nod my head. "By all means...You two take your time. I'm not going anywhere." They walk into the next area and Flowey pops out. "Snack break?" "Yep. I sit down in the snow and Flowey brings out the bag of cookies. [Five minutes later] [HP ████████████████████████████████████ 36/36] "It's amazing how food and drink can heal HP." "Yeah, but that's just it. Only the HP is restored. Any physical damage is needed to be healed by other means." "Still cool though." "Totally." "How does my face look? Still jacked up?" "Hmmm...Not really. I think Sans healed you physically first before working on your HP." "..." "You okay?" "That...That was nice of him." "Are you still mad at him?" "...No. I'm over it now. I've cooled off long enough." "Good. Because grumpy you is rude." "Sorry." We finish off the cookies. "Mom makes epic cookies." "What's this white stuff?" "White chocolate. My favorite is dark chocolate, but this ain't bad." "Chara loved chocolate too." "I have way too much in common with that boy for it to sound normal." "Has he been talking to you?" "Not for a bit. Been pretty quiet since we left the Ruins. I think he's letting me keep my energy for dealing with these people." "A smart move. Who knows what'll happen next out here." "Yep. But he's always listening. So don't think he's gone because we don't chat." I stand up and dust off the crumbs. "You ready for this?" "About as ready as one can get." "Try to be a bit more positive about this. It's not like you're the one that'll be getting hurt." "You know I have your back in case things get too bad, right?" "But only when I say so...I don't want you to become a target." "You big softy." "You know it." We do a fist to leaf bump and I make my way into the next area. This spot is rather dark, very little of anything here apart from the brothers and a tile puzzle made of forty-eight deactivated squares that appears to be connected to a strange cracked box looking machine. "HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH NYEH! HUMAN!" "Hey, Papyrus. Sup, Sans." "sup, kid." "HUMAN, YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE THIS PUZZLE!" "Am I? And why is that?" "BECAUSE IT WAS MADE BY THE GREAT DR. ALPHYS!" "Who?" "the human's never left the ruins, bro. she's never heard of the quack." Papyrus gets a little flustered. "REGARDLESS...YOU SEE THESE TILES !?" "I do." "WELL, ONCE I THROW THIS SWITCH...THEY WILL BEGIN TO CHANGE COLOR!" "Cool." "EACH COLOR HAS A DIFFERENT FUNCTION!" "ya may want to write this down." I look at them funny as Papyrus takes a deep breath. "RED TILES ARE IMPASSABLE! YOU CANNOT WALK ON THEM! YELLOW TILES ARE ELECTRIC! THEY WILL ELECTROCUTE YOU! GREEN TILES ARE ALARM TILES! IF YOU STEP ON THEM, YOU WILL HAVE TO FIGHT A MONSTER! ORANGE TILES ARE ORANGE- SCENTED. THEY WILL MAKE YOU SMELL FRUITY! BLUE TILES ARE WATER TILES. YOU CAN SWIM THROUGH IF YOU LIKE, BUT IF YOU SMELL LIKE ORANGES THE PIRAHNAS WILL BITE YOU..." "Pause!" He looks angry. "WHAT?" "Piranha? Really? Where the hell did you get piranha? It makes no damn sense." "EXPLAIN?" "Although often described as extremely predatory and mainly feeding on fish, the dietary habits of piranha vary extensively and they will also take plant material, leading to their classification as omnivorous. Which is why I'm not arguing over the whole 'smelling like oranges will get them hungry' thing. My issue with all this is how the flipping fishy fuck do you have piranhas down here. Piranha are a freshwater fish that inhabits South American rivers, floodplains, lakes, and reservoirs. This mountain is not in South America. So either those aren't piranha or they're genetic fakes made to look like them." Papyrus looks at Sans and Sans laughs. "hehehe...i fucking called it. she's such a quack." "*GROWLS* WHATEVER THESE FISH ARE, THE POINT REMAINS THAT THEY WILL ATTACK YOU IF YOU SMELL OF ORANGE." "Understood. Please, continue." "ALSO, IF A BLUE TILE IS NEXT TO A YELLOW TILE, THE WATER WILL ALSO ZAP YOU! PURPLE TILES ARE SLIPPERY! YOU WILL SLIDE TO THE NEXT TILE! HOWEVER, THE SLIPPERY SOAP SMELLS LIKE LEMONS! WHICH THE PIRAHNAS, OR WHATEVER THEY ARE, DO NOT LIKE! SO THAT MEANS PURPLE AND BLUE ARE OK! FINALLY, PINK TILES. THEY DON'T DO ANYTHING. STEP ON THEM ALL YOU LIKE. AND PLAID TILES ARE..." "boss, i don't think those were fully installed yet." "REALLY?" "yeah." "FINE...HOW WAS THAT, HUMAN!? WERE YOU ABLE TO UNDERSTAND?" "Red, yellow, and green are bad. Blue is safe as long as it's not next to yellow and I don't touch orange, but it's okay again if I get purple. Purple and pink are fine as well. Did I get that right?" "...YES." "good memory, kiddo." "THEN THERE'S ONLY ONE LAST THING TO MENTION. THIS PUZZLE...IS ENTIRELY RANDOM!" He is way excited about this. I can't help the smile I get thinking he's being cute in an evil maniacal way. "WHEN I PULL THIS SWITCH, IT WILL MAKE A PUZZLE...THAT HAS NEVER BEEN SEEN BEFORE! NOT EVEN I WILL KNOW THE SOLUTION! NYEH HEH HEH! GET READY...!" "Bring it on!" Papyrus turns the machine on and the tiles light up. Slowly they start to flicker between different patterns. The three of us watch and witness dozens or colors flash. "Dear lord...You're lucky I'm not flash sensitive or I'd be having a seizure right now." "ARE THOSE BAD?" "They can kill a person if not handled right." "damn! ya really weren't kidding when ya said humans die easy." "Told you so." The lights speed up faster and faster. I begin to feel a little sick when finally it stops. We all just stare at it. It's insane. The "randomly generated" outcome the machine creates is simply a line of pink tiles bordered by red tiles, which according to the rules, I can walk right across without trouble. "SANS..." "yeah, boss?" "WHAT WERE THE ODDS OF THIS HAPPENING?" Sans goes over to the machine and looks it up. "according to this...the odds were 1 in 36,703,368,217,294,125,441,230,211,032,033,660,188,801." Papyrus balls his fists in bubbling rage and Sans moves away from the machine nervously. "pap, i know what you're thinking...but if ya hit the machine, we'll have to pay alphys for it or do some crazy favor. is that something ya want? do you not remember the cosplay parade? that bitch still has photos hanging over our heads. i ain't about to give her more. are you?" Papyrus seethes. His annoyance is making his bones steam in the icy air. With no real way of venting this rage, he stomps away as I walk over the tiles to stand by Sans. "He looked super pissed." "yeah. i should probably try to calm him down before he offs some random shmuck." He puts his hands in his pockets and starts to leave. "Sans, hold up a sec..." He stops and looks over his shoulder. "what?" I feel nervous about this. But I want this settled. "ya got something to say to me or what?" "I'm sorry." That gets to him and he turns fully to face me. Now even more nervous and hold my arms. "huh?" "I said, I'm sorry. I acted like a bitch. I was cold and pissy. Even when you were trying to show a little, let's for the sake of this say concern because your bro ordered you to heal me, I was still apprehensive about trying to be all nice again with you. I...I didn't know how to handle the stuff you said and I..." "hey, relax. i get it." Is he being cool? But I had so much more to say. "Y-You do?" He rubs the back of his skull. "since ya mentioned it...i...i am willing to admit i might have jumped the gun there earlier. i said some shit i shouldn't have. it's just...this is really awkward and junk." "Oh thank god. *sigh* I thought it was just me." He smirks a bit. "not used to talking about this stuff on your end either?" "Dude, I'm digging my fingers into my arms to keep from freaking out." "kid, i'm doing the same thing. got a stress ball in a death grip in my pocket. might've broke it had we kept going." "Hehehe...We're screwed up, aren't we?" "oh, big time. hehe..." "Hey...um...This might sound silly, but...Could we, maybe, go back to how we were before? Like when we would just be chill at the door." His expression holds some form of worry. "w-w-what do ya mean by 'go back'?" "You know. Go back. Like, how to say this...Like a reset? But on this day." Now he looks like he's about to shit a brick. "So what do you say? Let's wipe this whole indecent between us away and start fresh." I offer my hand to him and he looks at me funny. "what is this?" "Monster, don't you know how to greet a new pal?" His sockets widen before he laughs and takes my hand. "oh man, kiddo...ya really had me going there for a moment." I tilt my head confused and he plays it off. "so this is our reset? heh...ya gonna pants me again?" "Only if you shock me again, skele-dude." "nah. lesson learned the first time." I snicker till loud yelling gets our attention. Seconds later, Lesser Dog runs past us like its life is in danger. "Papyrus?" "yep." "Shall we?" "got nothing better to do." I bow and motion towards the way Papyrus went. "After you, my good sir." "why, thank ya kindly...lynsie." I'm stunned for a moment and he blushes a bit but doesn't let me see for long as he walks away. "come on, kiddo." "You said my name..." "don't mention it." "Awww...Dude, we really are cool!" "again...don't mention it!" I giggle and follow him. Little does anyone know, but the machine comes alive, the screen lit up. "OH NO...THIS SIMPLY WILL NOT DO." A thruster pops out of the bottom of it and it blasts off, rocketing its way back to Hotland. Sans and I are in a weird state of awe. In the area of Lesser Dog's post, the dog appeared to have made many snow versions of itself. Rather impressive things really. But in the venting his rage, Papyrus has been quite relentless in killing the snow-dogs. Numerous sharp bones stab the bodies and the heads have been broken off only to meet the blunt end of Papyrus's fists as he pummels the snow into mush. "I am so dead." "better the snow than you. or me for that matter." "Wait...Does he..." "hit me? not that like, no. a smack to the back of my skull, sure. but nothing that can really hurt me." I don't like the sound of this. "hey, pap! i think it's dead! ya can stop now!" Papyrus pays no attention to us. "he might be at this awhile." "Over a randomly generated puzzle algorithm?" "it's more about that he's having fun playing with ya and the puzzles are like games. but that last game didn't allow him to play, so he's having a fit about it." "Now I can see the young in him. How big is the age difference?" "not much. but he's always been like this. very...what's the word...intense? yeah, that sounds right. when it comes to his emotions, they're always strong." "You must be relieved you have a brother and not a sister." "oh, you have no idea! i don't think i'd be able to handle the mood swings." "Amen, dude." "...aren't you a girl?" "I prefer tomboy. A tomboy is a girl that has characteristics or behaviors considered typical of a boy." "i can see that. the only thing girly about ya it that rack of yours." I shove him into the snow. "Dick!" "...starting to see more of the girl in ya." "Can we get this puzzle stuff over with? I can't stand this cold." "why? is it bone-chilling?" He makes pun of me while getting up and Papyrus slows down a little. "Dude, if I was any colder I'd have ice in my veins." Papyrus stops and just stares. "too bad you're not a skeleton. things like that will just go right through ya." Papyrus summons a bone and slings it like a boomerang into Sans's legs, knocking him over. "what the fuck?!" "WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT MAKING PUNS WHILE I'M AROUND?" "so now ya can hear us? go figure." Papyrus then aims his glare at me. "YOU! THIS IS YOUR ONLY WARNING. I WILL NOT HARM MY BROTHER FOR HIS JOKES, BUT YOU HOLD NO BOND WITH ME. SO THE NEXT JOKE THAT I HEAR COMING FROM YOU WILL BE YOUR LAST. HAVE I MADE MYSELF CLEAR?" I only nod as he took all the words from me. "GOOD. VERY GOOD. SEE, SANS? SHE IS ABLE TO LISTEN." "like the kiddo said before, she ain't a dog." "I KNOW THAT. SHE'S FAR MORE OBEDIENT THAN THESE MUTTS." And just like that, we know for sure that Papyrus is back to his normal douchebag self. "HUMAN! ARE YOU PREPARED FOR THE FINAL XOXO PUZZLE?" I help Sans up and then shrug at Papyrus. "I'm as ready for it as I can be." "VERY WELL...SANS." "that's my name, try not to wear it out." "*GROWL* SHOW THE HUMAN THE LAST XOXO PUZZLE. I SHALL GO AND AWAIT YOU BOTH AT THE END OF THE FINAL CHALLENGE." Papyrus takes his leave, passing the last remaining snow-dog and shoving it off the edge of the area into the unknown below while walking away like a boss. "he's so cool." "He's a prick. But a cool one." We stay put for a bit before Sans decides to head to the next area with me close behind. The last XOXO puzzle is massive, taking up 90% of the space. There are only twelve X's this time and no rocks. This one is made entirely on ice. "How in the..." "this one, i'll admit to being the brains behind." "If that's the case, then I'm surprised by that pop quiz you made before." "by the way...how the hell did ya get the answers right on that?" "You made it about Papyrus. I remembered what you'd say about him and took knowing him into account to make my answers." "smart ass." "Flattery will get you everywhere, Sans. Now about the puzzle?" "oh...it's the same as the others. ya gotta step on the x's to make the o's and then hit the switch. but the hard part is, there's no safety net here. if ya slide off the edge, ya fall to who knows where. what ya gotta do is slide from one x to the other without having to slide on an o or result in making that into a triangle. completion of this puzzle creates a bridge that allows ya to slide over to the other side of the area. trying to make it over there without completing the puzzle will have ya falling into the gap." "Okay. So there's a pattern to slide in that won't result in me falling. Give me a moment to see it." "no rush, kiddo. the longer ya take to do this, the longer i don't have to do my job. it's a win-win." He jokes about that, but he ends up watching me think and point my finger as I map out stuff in the air. "cute. what are ya, five?" "...It's a nautilus shell spiral." He flinches. "how did..." "Do ya really have to ask?" He rolls his shoulders and sighs. "go on. do your thing, kid." Starting at the farthest left-side X, I touch it and then slide over to the next X in front of me. From this X, I slide to the X across it on the right and then slide to the one heading back to the safety of the snow. This goes on for some time. Sliding to the left, forward, forward, right, back, left, forward, left again, and then going forward for the last time to hit the switch. All the red O's turn green and land reconnects with the path tunneled by the long black spooky trees. "I did it!" "yay." "Can you repeat that with more feeling?" "yay...you did it. whoopee." "That's just cold." "yeah. it wasn't very ice of me." I snicker. "See ya over on the side?" "ya know it." I give him a wave and push into the strong slide needed to exit the area. And wow am I glad I didn't do a weak slide. This path is long as hell! It feels like it goes on forever. I consider taking a nap until I finally pop out the other side. "hey, kid. what took ya so long?" "No clue. Felt like I'd be sliding forever." "it looks like it too. ya got quite the bunch of snow on your head." "I do?" "hmmm...looks to me like someone plopped a mound of snow as a base, then made a hat, then made a house on top of that, then a dog, and bird tops the whole thing." I eye him funny before feeling my head. Indeed there is a bunch of snow. How the hell did this happen? I try to pick it off me but it crumbles to bits. "Damn it. I wanted to see it." "no worries. i got pictures." "When did you take pictures?" "when i put the snow on ya." I open my mouth to ask another question but hold my tongue. No point in asking stupid questions when I'm dealing with a guy that can teleport. "Good one, buddy. Gotta see those later if that's cool." "sure. but right now, i need ya to do me a quick solid." "Such as?" He points ahead of us and I see a tiny dog sentry post. "this is where greater dog is stationed. while you and pap were puzzling away, i took the liberty of burying him in the snow." "And the problem is?" "while doing that, i drop some money and i really need it back. the issue is...i don't remember exactly where it all is." "How much is there? That way I know how much to look for." "30g." I salute. "Consider your gold already found." "good girl." "Hey, if ya don't mind me asking, but what's over there?" I point to the path going down to my right. "oh down there? nothing really. i mean, there is a mysterious room that nobody can get into. but it's probably some leftover from when the forest was being explored and colonized. other than that, loner monsters hang out there. some of which are out of your league in power, so i'd stay away if i was you." "Understood. Don't go there...yet." "that is not what i said." "I know. But I wanna see that room. So I'll stay away until my HP and DEF are way better. That way, I'll live longer." "you'll live longer by not going there." "But..." "don't. for the sake of the old lady, i want ya to promise, you won't go down there." I bite my lip and sneer. "Damn you and your knowledge of my weakness." He smiles. "it's what i do best. now say it. say ya promise." I sigh in defeat. "I promise you, Sans. I will not go down there." "thank you. now then..." I nod. "I know. I'm on the hunt." I walk forward towards the doghouse and what are multiple mounds of snow, nine to be specific. So I start at the beginning and work my way to the end. [It's a snow poff.] "Not this one." [And this...Is a snow poff.] "Or this one." [This, however, is a snow poff.] "Cute. Very cute." [Surprisingly, it's a snow poff.] "Very funny." [Snow poff...] "Starting to tick me off." [Is it really a snow poff?] "What else would it be, asshole?!" [Behold! A snow poff.] "God damn it!" [Eh? There's 30 G inside this...what is this called?] "Thank you!" I leap with joy and victory. "Hey, Sans! I found...your..." Sans is nowhere to be seen. And odder still is there is one snow poff left. By process of elimination, that is where Greater Dog is buried. Best not deal with any more dog problems, but I can't leave the poor pupper in the snow. I walk past the snow poff and make sure I'm a decent distance away from it before I start my little plan. I gather up some snow and make a heavy ball before hurling it at the mound. The snow poff topples and a tail pops out. Feeling the wind on its fur makes more of the dog dig itself out. Eventually, I see a massive creature that somehow Sans was able to bury completely. Greater Dog is a red-eyed wholly white furred dog. It wears mantle-gray spiked armor, adorned at the wrists are apparently functional snarling dog faces and the spear weapon it holds even has one. This thing is a beast! Or, that's how I saw it as until it fell over. The armor's legs had frozen and I nearly bite my tongue off holding in the giggles. Greater Dog itself looks to be a large breed of dog, but only fills the chest portion of the armor, letting its head and tail stick out while controlling the rest of the suit through unknown means. It's adorable. I want to pet it and give it love. But I know I'd never hear the end of it from Papyrus. So I leave the pupper be before it notices me. Taking the idea of petting out of my head, I return to the path at hand and become puzzled instantly. I'm looking at an incredibly long dangerous bridge, yes. But it's not a bridge. It's been painted to look like a bridge. The rope hand railing is real, but the floor is fake. Nothing makes sense. My paranoia of heights is triggering. I can't move. This lack of movement and overall silence draws Flowey out of the bag. "Lynsie? You okay?" "I looked down." "Huh?" "I looked down!" Flowey looks at what I see. "Wow! We are really high up." "Not helping!" "You...You're really afraid?" I nod rapidly. "But you know you have to cross this, right?" I nod again. "Hmmm...I have an idea. But you really have to trust me on this one." I nod more till vines wrap over my eyes and blind me. "F-Flowey?!" "Calm down. You can't move if you see how high we are. So I'm going to steer you." More vines move my arms out forward and at the feel of rope, I clamp my hands shut tight. "Alright. You hold the rope and step where I tell you." I nod and he slowly has me take small steps. I'm so scared that I'm shaking, but that can also be from the cold finally getting to me. "That's it...A little further...You're doing great..." "I hate this so much!" "Don't worry, I got you. I'm not going to let anything bad happen to you." "HUMAN!" Flowey panics and flees into the bag, allowing me to see once more and I am about to lose my freaking mind because I was so close to the end! Sans and Papyrus stand on the other side, blocking me from the town I see not too far away. "THIS IS YOUR FINAL, MOST DRAMATIC, MOST SCARY, MOST DANGEROUS CHALLENGE OF ALL! BEHOLD! THE GAUNTLET OF DEADLY TERROR!" A spiked ball tethered by chains, two spears, an annoyed dog, an oil drum fire pit, and an old looking cannon appear to be aimed at my shivering form. "WHEN I SAY THE WORD, IT WILL FULLY ACTIVATE! CANNONS WILL FIRE! SPIKES WILL SWING! BLADES WILL SLICE! EACH PART WILL SWING VIOLENTLY UP AND DOWN! ONLY THE TINIEST CHANCE OF VICTORY WILL REMAIN! ARE YOU READY!? I! AM! ABOUT! TO DO IT!" I can't move. I can't make myself move. I'm too frightened to move. All I can do is watch and wait for certain death to hit me. Yet...Nothing happens. Sans takes notice. "well? what's the holdup?" Papyrus flinches. "HOLDUP!? WHAT HOLDUP!? I'M...I'M ABOUT TO ACTIVATE IT NOW!" I can't stand this tension! I drop to my knees unable to keep my legs stiff enough to stand. "that, uh, doesn't look very activated, boss." "WELL! THIS CHALLENGE! IT SEEMS...*SIGH* I CAN'T DO THIS." "boss?" "LOOK AT HER, SANS. SHE'S PETRIFIED. IT WOULD TOO EASY TO DEFEAT THE HUMAN LIKE THIS. NO...NO, IT WON'T BE ANY FUN AT ALL. WE CAN'T USE THIS ONE! I AM A SKELETON WITH STANDARDS! MY PUZZLES ARE VERY FAIR! AND MY TRAPS ARE EXPERTLY COOKED! BUT THIS METHOD IS TOO DIRECT! NO CLASS AT ALL! AWAY IT GOES!" On the command, the instruments of death go back to wherever they came from. "SANS, WHY IS SHE STILL FRIGHTENED? THE DEATH TRAPS ARE GONE." "i think she has a fear of heights, bro." "*SCOFF* REDICULOUS...HUMAN, THIS BRIDGE LOOKS DANGEROUS, BUT IT'S VERY STABLE. IN FACT, IT'S JUST A ROCK FORMATION I PAINTED OVER. I THINK IT LOOKS MORE DRAMATIC THAT WAY. I ADDED THE ROPE, TOO. FOR A MORE REALISTIC FLARE." "i don't think that matters." "DON'T WUSS OUT ON US NOW! YOU ARE LITERALLY RIGHT OUTSIDE OF THE TOWN!" "Fuck you! I'm not moving!" I couldn't move even if I tried. Papyrus doesn't like this response. "SANS...I AM BECOMING DISAPPOINTED." Sans gets nervous. "h-h-hang on a sec, pap. i'm sure we can work something out." "WELL...LIKE WHAT?" Sans starts to sweat profusely. "uh...um..." "LOOK, I WAS EXCITED TO PLAY THIS LITTLE GAME OF PUZZLES AND SUCH SO THAT I COULD HAVE A GLORIOUS BATTLE FOR THE HUMAN'S SOUL AND PROVE TO ALL THAT I AM THE GREATEST ROYAL GUARDSMAN! BUT ALL THE TIME I PUT INTO THESE PUZZLES...IT'S KIND OF LIKE THROWING A WILD PARTY..." "without traps and fire?" "EXACTLY! IT'S POINTLESS! MAYBE YOU WERE RIGHT TO BE LAZY ABOUT PUZZLES." "m-me? right about something? really?" "YEAH! WHAT AM I SAYING?! YOU'RE STILL COMPLETELY WRONG! FLAMES AND VIOLENCE ARE THE ONLY REAL WAY TO DO PUZZLES!" Are they having a weird brother moment? "WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT!?" "Nothing." "THAT'S IT...I'M ENDING IT. RIGHT HERE. RIGHT NOW." Papyrus holds out his hand and his eyes begin to black out, though the left starts to flare red. "pap! wait! you can't kill her!" "WHY THE HELL NOT?!" "because!" "BECAUSE WHY?! GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON WHY I SHOULDN'T OBLITERATE HER!" "b-because...because...um..." Sans looks at me, down on all fours and scared like a small animal. That's when an idea comes to him. "you can't kill her because...it would be what undyne is expecting you to do." "WHAT?" "think about it, bro. we're all trained to kill humans. what's so cool about that? but capturing a human and turning it against its own kind? now that would be impressive and an incredible show of skill." Papyrus lowers his hand and his white eyes return. "YOU HAVE MY INTEREST. EXPLAIN FURTHER." "just look at her, pap. she's a prime human with decent stats and almost no LV. think of the potential. with enough training, i bet she'd make a fairly decent pet." "HMMM...AND WHAT IF SHE TRIED TO BITE THE HAND THAT TRAINS HER? HUMANS ARE DEADLY, SANS. EVEN THE WEAK ONES." "that's the kicker, she's a pacifist! even if she lashes out there'll be no intent. it'll be like getting scratched by a kitten." "I DON'T KNOW..." "you can smash this in undyne's face and gloat that you did something that she never could." "SOLD! HUMAN! I HAVE DECIDED YOUR FATE. YOU WILL BECOME THE PET OF THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE PAPYRUS!" I want to make a snide remark but I am too focused on not blacking out from stress to care. "SANS, GO GET THE HUMAN AND BRING HER TO THE HOUSE. I'LL GO READY THE CAPTURE ZONE FOR IT'S NEW PRISONER." "you mean the shed?" DON'T UNDERMIND THE CAPTURE ZONE! AFTER ALL...IT'S WHERE SHE'LL BE STAYING." "you're right, bro. and when you're right, you're right." "DAMN RIGHT! THIS WAS ANOTHER DECISIVE VICTORY FOR THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE PAPYRUS! NYEH! HEH! HEH HEH!" Papyrus heads into town with renewed vigor and Sans sighs heavily with relief. "holy crap...heh...that was WAY to close. you don't even want to know what he was about to do to you." Sans looks at me and I'm bleeding out my nose. "kiddo?" "Too...much...stress..." "the fuck is happening?" "Gonna...pass...out..." My head is spinning and the dizziness takes hold. Sans comes running when my head smacks the floor. I feel him grab me and even shake me, but that's it. Everything shuts off for me in a matter of seconds.

#undertale #underfell #Anomaly #Lynsie #sans #papyrus #gaster #grillby #grandpa semi #napstablook #mettaton #flowey #Asriel #asgore #toriel #chara #frisk #undyne #alphys

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