#odin should not be such a fucking hypocrite

[lokiinmediasideblog]

Ngl frigga didnt trust things to thor. She burdened him eiyh stuff a parent doesnt need to burdrn their child

That's a valid HC and I think this anon was sent in response to me reblogging someone else's post about Frigga talking more to Thor.

I don't want this to come off as shit-talking of people's HCs. These are just my personal opinions on Frigga. I am not some fandom authority. I assume that's what the anon wanted?

And well, I agree in general that parents treating their kids as friends rather than children is harmful to their development.

So if you're still here and wanna hear my PERSONAL thoughts on Frigga:

DISCLAIMER: I have not watched TLAT and I don't want to. The lack of Loki, presence of Korg, and that very random uncomfortable ogling scene meant to market the movie got it on my DNF list. This may sound hypocritical because I watched the Loki series, but people get stripped while being processed in prisons IRL and Loki's a prisoner! I only watched the Avengers movies after the first one once and never want to watch them again because they give me headaches.

I think people either make Frigga a saint that saved Loki from Odin's wrath, or in pushback by people annoyed by the various "saintly Frigga" portrayals, some horrid woman that for some bizarre reason mistreated her only biological heir and preferred her adopted child because Zuko/Azula and Ursa (I see too many comparisons). I don't vibe with either of those HCs.

She's not a good adoptive parent because there are clear cannon signs of fucked up parenting towards Loki, such as "Because I'm the monster that parents tell their children about at night?" The very least Odin and Frigga could have done while raising a Jotun is not to tell those stories to their children. And guess what? They are king and queen of Asgard. When people say they were good but couldn't have done shit about it, that's a fucking lie. Despite those massive psychologically-abusive-on-hindsight fuckups, she cared about Loki. She prevented Odin from executing Loki and tried to keep him comfortable during his imprisonment. She also taught Loki magic. Not a good mother but she cared.

I don't think she hated Thor, parentified (as princes of similar ages, I don't think any of them were parentified, but they have trauma from being privileged child soldiers and killing at a young age (my HC)), or didn't care for him. I think in Thor (2011) it's pretty clear that ONLY ODIN has the power to give Thor his powers back. That's a DEFINITE power imbalance between Odin and the rest of the family. This is backed up in a deleted scene where Frigga asks and argues with Odin to bring Thor back (It should have been in the movie!). She also cared enough about Thor's happiness to die protecting Jane. And you all know how uppity Asgardians are!

#mcu!thor #mcu!loki #mcu!odin #mcu!frigga

[thelittlewitchway]

Oh god not this time of year again where people argue whether Christmas is a pagan or a Christian holiday. I'm getting sick of this.

Both of you shut up. It's a mixed holiday. It has a has pagan influenced elements including the time of year, the evergreen tree, and the bringing of extra light (whether through candles or tree lights) into the home because humanity throughout history has had a fondness for past traditions and cherrypicking what they want to keep or get rid of. Guess what? It doesn't fucking matter. Maybe some Christians should tone down the hypocrisy when they incorporate pagan elements but maybe pagans can stop being hypocritical in getting angry at Christians for making everything about them by doing that exact thing. The different traditions come from so many different places and religions throughout history. Literally anyone is allowed to celebrate Christmas if they want to because it doesn't have to do with religion at all if you don't want it to. Stop with this "only Christians because the birth of Christ" or "only pagan because Yule and Odin." It's bullshit.

As an ex Christian cult member AND a current pagan, shut. the. fuck. up. Both of you. It's winter. It's dark. For most, it's depressing. Take the opportunity to find peace and joy and warmth in this all too cruel world.

#christmas #yule #yuletide #pagan #exmormon #norse #not everything has to be about you all the time #learn to share for fucks sake

[tyrannuspitch]

i may have said this before but i genuinely really don’t like the whole concept of hela. it feels lazy, honestly. and/or cowardly. 

1. she’s literally a narrative scapegoat to keep the conflict from getting too personal. and it should be personal. why is the antagonist a representation of odin’s wrongdoing and not odin himself? why can’t we look his imperialism in the eye?

2. i know ragnarok has little to no interest in engaging with odin’s terrible parenting, but given how much time has already been given to making loki sympathetic, and how this film seems dedicated to keeping odin from looking too bad, it feels weird and hypocritical to take another member of this family and be like “yeah she's just a one-dimensional monster and that’s all she ever will be”. no-one ever even questions if hela might have mellowed during her thousands of years of imprisonment.

3. her being odin’s daughter literally doesn’t matter. she doesn’t have any actual relationships. she doesn’t have any characterisation. she’s written like a monster, not a person. i suppose you could try and make something out of thor rejecting his birth sister while choosing reconciliation with his adoptive brother, but... it doesn’t mean much when only one of them is an actual character.

4. given this series’ track record, it doesn’t feel fucking great that both female members of this family have been sidelined and killed off for the men’s character development!

5. i honestly don’t know how i would write it myself, but i feel like, if it really can’t be odin, then either we should have a real, rounded character, or we should have an abstract force or a monster. anything but this weird this middle ground where an actual person is being objectified (literal sense) for plot purposes in a way that other characters never are.

6. “um well actually not treating hela like a person is better because it would be wrong to make a genocidal imperialist sympathetic-” have you SEEN the last three films. if u don’t want to sympathise with terrible people then don’t make a thor movie.

7. making hela act like a real person doesn’t even have to mean sympathising with her. she can be clearly wrong and cruel and so on without being this fucking empty.

#space viking tag #grumbling about ragnarok again #constructive complaining #s: t3 #ch: hela #r: hela + odin #th: gender + sexuality #th: abuse + empire #th: cycles + scapegoats

[finngualart]

its friday night and im self isolating and drawing weird little self inserts like a freak

#one of the promises i made myself for this year #is that i am going to carve out a serious amount of time each week to work on my norse myth graphic novel project #not knowing i would be completely swept off my feet by the stupid gay vampire show #i have not thought about the alldad for weeks #been thinking a lot about the slightly weird relationship i have been developing with ihn #like #i know he is Fictional #but fun (or embarrassing) fact: i have a portrait of him up in my living room that i talk to :'))))))) #i think as an artist/writer/creator you have no choice but to get a little weird with your characters #anyway #odin should not be such a fucking hypocrite #he sleeps around #let me sleep around man #i thought this was an open relationship #oh i typed ihn at some point when i meant HIM #we have come to the end of my slightly unhinged friday night ramblings #thanks for reading and have a good one #wwdits #odin

[evilkitten3]

au where odin and frigga both die somehow when loki and thor are just kids and now hela’s back but on top of ruling asgard she has to raise her baby brothers and somehow they actually turn out less fucked up

#marvel #mcu #odin's a+ parenting #frigga's b+ parenting #loki #loki odinson #loki laufeyson #thor odinson #hela odinsdottir #am i saying hela could do a better job as a parent than odin and frigga #yes #yes i am #i really don't understand why people like frigga #her only role in the story is to pretend to care about her kids and then die #she's the literal embodiment of a privileged rich white mom prioritizing the familial status quo over actually raising functional children #she's a liar and a hypocrite and quite frankly doesn't deserve the love the fandom gives her #either that or she genuinely thought her emotional wreck of a son should take over running a kingdom right after finding out he's adopted #from another fucking SPECIES #a species that btw she helped raised him to hate #but she didn't let her husband murder him without a trial so i guess she's secretly supermom #give hela some credit at least she's honest #heimdall is the only valid parent and he's not a parent #he just commits treason a lot #and that's valid

[lina-lovebug]

THE LEGACY

Ivar Lothbrok great granddaughter x Harald Sigurdsson

Part one.

________________________

"You're fucking joking."

"I wish I was, but he's so handsome! He's a Prince, (Y/N)!"

"He's a Christian," (Y/N) hissed, "I will never relinquish my gods for his false one."

Religion wad a sensitive topic for her. As the great granddaughter of Ivar the Boneless, she hated the Christians as much as he did and vowed to never align herself with one. They raped her people, they slaughtered them, all because they would not convert.

It was disgusting.

"You will have to meet him soon. You have been betrothed since you were six," It was true. Although hardly ever seeing Harald, she was his betrothed. She's only ever seen him five times since they were young, and each time she could never understand him.

Harald didn't know the Viking language, but despite that, (Y/N) was forced to learn English by her mother in order to better communicate with her fiance.

She complained that it should be her learning, but Harald must learn his true mother tongue. Tove, her mother, disagreed on this and insisted she must be do this to not only be a generous wife, but a great leader.

And she couldn't argue that once her grandmother, Marie Lothbrok, had also agreed with her mother. Plus it would be very hypocritical that Marie, daughter of Ivar, wouldn't sanction this union since her own mother was a Christian.

"Ironic that Ivar, the man who hated Christians, married one-"

"She relinquished her false faith for my great grandfathers. She loved him," (Y/N) knew of the stories.

"If she loved him, should you not do the same?" Astrid questioned, earning a glare from the young girl.

"Never."

_____

"Has my bride been avoiding me all night?"

(Y/N) stopped mid drink and turned around to see him, the man she's been fated to since childhood and yet he wears the cross of the enemy around him.

"Depends. Are you converting when we are wed?" She questioned, the attitude and hatred clear in her voice.

"Straight to the point, I see."

"And you still need me to speak English," She pointed out.

"Why must I convert?" She snorted.

"I would rather be Blood Eagled than betray Odin."

"Do not say that, please-"

"Why not? My entire life, I have had to make accommodations for you. Learn English, be more lady like, learn about a fucking book that's been changed a hundred times. So please forgive me if I am pissed that you would suggest I do one more fucking thing for you," She hissed, getting in his face and that's when he saw it.

The Ivar eyes.

Many she directly inherited the rage from Ivar, and when she looked at you, it was like Ivar himself awaiting to skin you alive.

"If this is how angry you will be with all our arguments, forgive me if I'm turned on everytime," He smirked.

"Wh-what?" She stepped back.

"You pig. How can you be a prince if you can't even bother to speak our language?"

"I am learning best I can, (Y/N)."

"Sure," She rolled her eyes before beginning to push him out.

"I must change. I am tired."

"Will we do this everytime? I would like to one day know what my wife looks like underneath all that," He winked.

"Ugh, as if," She shoved him out.

"I will bare you sons, but we shall have separate beds," She said before closing the door.

"As if you could resist me."

"As if you could go five minutes without speaking," She mumbled to herself, hoping to Odin that this union would be destroyed or that he would atleast be more tolerable.

Hope you've enjoyed! It's gonna be a small series but the thought came to mind if Harald was betrothed to (Y/N) Lothbrok, Ivars great granddaughter who has made a big name for herself in Kattegat.

#harald sigurdsson #vikings valhalla #vikings imagine #valhalla imagine #ivartheboneless

[wnnbdarklord]

Ragnarok might not have killed my dog, but it certainly pissed in my cheerios and then fandom tried to shove it down my throat saying it was totally piss free. 

My problem with it is with the so called “respectful disrespect” of the previous movies and the fact that fandom seems to see it as the most Canon™, the True Canon™, all other canons need not apply. If this movie was meant to be taken as crackfic, then most of fandom missed the fucking memo. 

The theater scene felt like a slap to the face and mocking anyone who dared to like the previous movies. The Strange scenes were that, but with Loki. People keep treating the Grandmaster winking at Loki as True Representation when it’s hardly that and even if it was, I do not at all think it would have been meant as anything complementary about Loki (whatever your thoughts about using sex to survive on Sakaar). The movie was never allowed to have a genuine emotion without some joke undercutting it. Hela turned out so shallow because spending most of the runtime on Sakaar was so much more important apparently. It’s implied Thor was meant to realize Odin’s mistakes, but has a frickin spirit meeting with him to unlock his true powers or whatever. I’m not even going to mention how rage inducing I find everything from the elevator scene to Thor flying away from the docking bay on the Commodore (how nonsensical Loki’s “betrayal” even was, Thor even putting that stupid thing on him in the first place, Thor being psychopathic enough to just leave him there, his whole fucking speech about change which was mindbogglingly hypocritical with Thor’s reversion to a jock, the fact that it even worked when it should have shattered any trust Loki had left in Thor and oh look, I did mention it). Making Loki responsible for Thanos finding them by suddenly making the Infinity Stones able to be destroyed also irritated the hell out of me. 

I’m sorry, but MCU Loki was never the trickster ‘for the lulz’ character this movie tried to make him out to be. Trying to retcon all his characterization and pain and motives into just doing it for shits and giggles left me deeply unimpressed and even more alienated by this movie and almost everyone’s positive reactions to it. I wanted Loki to heal on his own terms, not be beaten down into submission back into Thor’s shadow and be told they totally solved everything and are brothers again u guise!!!!1!!1eleventyone. Yeah, solving everything on Thor’s terms is totally what I wanted from this movie. Their “reconciliation” was not a reconciliation but falling back into old patterns where Loki will just wind up being broken again. It’s hard for me to read Loki’s IW scene as anything but a suicide-from-despair thing in light of everything. 

Loki wasn’t the only person short changed characterization wise. When the character with the most coherent character arc is frickin Skurge, you’ve fucked up somewhere. Thor feels like pre-Thor 1, only somehow even worse because he acts like he’s faultless and always right (and boy does the movie like to validate that). The W4 were just shunted aside and killed like so much trash and Jane and her group was just written off with one line. 

This movie systematically took everything I liked about the franchise and flushed it down the toilet. 

The “aesthetics” of it changing were the least of my problems. 

About the only things I came out liking about this movie was Valkyrie (and that gorgeous flashback scene), bits of Hela, that lukewarm critique of Asgard’s imperialism that could have been tied in so much better (Loki and all his adoption issues were right there, but this movie was allergic to anything having to do with genuine emotion and Loki), Jeff Goldbloom, Heimdall, and the bridge fight scene. 

#vagueblogging #cause i just needed to vent #ragnarok critical

[silver-tangent]

I am really tired of Conservatives being hypocrites strutting around acting like their side has done no wrong.

#sorry for the rant #seriously long post #i just needed to vent #politics #conservatives #lgbt

[themattress]

My Top 11 Least Favorite MCU Characters (Infinity Saga)

11. Pietro Maximoff - I don’t dislike Pietro, but he failed to leave much of an impact on me in the one film he had a big role in. He just didn’t click with me the same way that Wanda did. Aaron Taylor-Johnson’s Eastern European accent is laughable, he’s not as impressive as the version of the character Evan Peters plays in the X-Men movies, and his death seemed like it was there just for the sake of having a major death in the film - afterward, he isn’t really spoken of again in any of the other films, not even by Wanda or Clint! He’s just kinda lame.

10. The Ancient One - Look, I love Tilda Swinton, but changing this character from an elderly Asian man to a young white woman who is still slated to die in order to advance the male hero’s story is all kinds of sketchy. Also, she’s a major hypocrite. So I can’t say I’m a fan.

9. Valkyrie - Take away Tessa Thompson’s charismatic performance and you’re left with a nonsensical, badly-written mess of a character who sends several unfortunate implications and is so transparently a weak-ass replacement for Sif. She doesn’t even have a name!

8. Flash Thompson - OK, I commend them for trying something different from the jock bully archetype for this version of Flash...but a “mathlete”? Who calls Peter “Penis Parker”!? What’s worse, the acting and writing does him no favors: this little twerp seems more like the kind of person who’d be bullied. Peter could probably take him even without his powers!

7. W'Kabi - So T’Challa fails to bring back W’Kabi’s parents’ murderer (through no fault of his own, I might add), then Killmonger does, and that’s enough for this asshole to betray his best friend and pledge loyalty to a clearly unstable guy? How petty can you get? Fuck W’Kabi!

6. Korg - Not only is this a complete misrepresentation of the character from the comics, which is jettisoned in favor of Taika Waititi playing himself as a big golem alien, but he just keeps getting less and less funny as the movie goes on because he ruins scenes that should be dramatic, including the fucking destruction of Asgard! He’s the MCU’s Jar Jar Binks!

5. Senator Stern - I really hate these kind of political strawman characters who only exist to obstruct the heroes, and this is a particularly obnoxious example. The only saving grace was the later revelation that he was a HYDRA operative, so now you hate him for better reasons.

4. Thaddeus E. “Thunderbolt” Ross - Another political strawman type, but in this case it’s even worse because Ross was a pre-established character before taking on this role! He was never particularly likable, but why bring him back at all only to make him that much worse?

3. Odin - The Allfather’s character just degraded further and further with each passing appearance. At first, it looked like the emotional abuse he was putting his sons through was because he was being misguided and foolish, but not malicious. But then in The Dark World, he did become malicious, serving as more of a brutal antagonist to Thor than either Loki or Malekith ever could. Finally in Ragnarok, he was posthumously revealed to have been a genocidal, imperialistic madman who covered it all up, including the existence of his equally vile daughter, which obliterates any moral highground he previously tried to claim. And yet he totally gets off scot-free and is apparently still to be revered? Fuck that, and fuck Odin too!

2. Carol Danvers - This version of Captain Marvel is a boring character who is painfully shoehorned in to the end of the Infinity Saga when she clearly has no business being there. It’s a shame since Brie Larson does actually look the part, but the stiff direction she’s given does her no favors. Despite this, she is not the worst character to come out of that film...

1. The Skrulls - Why? What was Marvel thinking here? The dastardly Skrulls, who are famous in the comics for their villainous shape-shifting antics, are turned into an innocent group of intergalactic refugees who are being oppressed by those fascist Kree. Rumor has it that an adaptation of Secret Invasion still may happen in the MCU, but how is that going to make any sense given that they derailed the Skrulls’ whole characters just to score woke political points? And for that matter, the Skrulls showing up in the 90s totally retcons the point made in The Avengers that it was the Asgardians in Thor that first alerted S.H.I.E.L.D to there being powerful alien life out there. Nothing about these guys work, and I hate them for it.

#Marvel #Infinity Saga #Opinion

[lunarfox22]

Bloodied and Broken - Part 12

Pairing: Loki x OFC (of color)

Warning: Violence, language, blood, mentions of suicidal thoughts, angst, fluff

Words: 3020

AO3: Bloodied and Broken by lunar_fox22

FFN: Bloodied and Broken by lunarfox22

Summary:  Loki has fallen from the Bifrost, a disgraced prince. He meets Angela Lawrence, a SHIELD agent who helps him, but can he let go of his scorn? Or will he betray the only person who is on his side?

Part 11 - Part 13

Masterlist

AN: *TRIGGER WARNING* :  MENTIONS OF SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND LOKI’S ATTEMPTED SUICIDE AT THE BIFROST! If this bothers you please feel free to skip this chapter. This chapter contains a lot of dialogue as well.

I'm moving these over to my new writing works tumblr. Please forgive any confusion!

---

The car ride back to the house was silent, not even the radio was playing. The only sound was the sound of Loki’s fingers thumping against the dashboard in a furious rhythm. He stared out of the passenger window. Not at anything in particular, but just so he couldn’t see Angela.

There was a time where Loki was the one making fools out of everyone around him. He was known as the Trickster for a reason. Now it seemed that everyone around him was making him out to be the fool. First Odin, then Thor, and now Angela. He had been fooled by a Midgardian no less!

He said nothing to her as she drove the car. He could feel the worried glances she shot at him every once in a while, but still he said nothing.

‘Why in the Allfather’s name would she allow him to stay with her?’ he wondered. Then the answer came to him in a flash. ‘She means to turn me over to SHIELD.’

He had often marveled at her kindness. Loki wondered how in the Realms she could offer her home to a complete stranger - let alone one from another Realm - without any qualms. She gave him food, a warm bed, clothing, and entertainment without so much of a complaint. Yes, she teased him about it, but she never complained. She was wonderful company, as well. But like all things in his life, it was too good to be true.

A bitter taste filled his mouth. Of course she was kind. Of course she tried to befriend him. She was using him.

He should have known too. It was all in her file that he read on her laptop; An assassin and an undercover spy. Angela was a liar just as he was. Trained to manipulate and gain the upper hand in a situation. To gain intel, and bring it back to her employer.

This was all a ploy to get him to let his guard down.

‘Just like I’m doing to her,’ he realized. Wasn’t this hypocritical of him? He was upset she lied, when he was lying himself?

He steeled himself against his thoughts. Yes, he was using Angela. But the difference was she got caught, and he wouldn’t.

She pulled the car into the driveway, and he exited it before it fully stopped and slammed the door shut. He made his way inside the house and rounded on her the moment she shut the front door.

He didn’t yell, but his voice was sharp and cold. Like a dagger. He spoke through clenched teeth. “What was your plan here? To gain my trust? Get me to lower my guard so you can take me back to your boss? Perhaps make yourself more powerful in the long run as I helped you with your powers? Then you toss me aside?!” he ranted quickly.

Her eyes widened, and she looked taken aback at his outburst. She placed her hands up defensively against his verbal attack. “Loki, that’s not –”

But he wouldn’t let her get a word in edgewise. “Well,” he laughed bitterly, “you almost succeeded. I thought you a wonderful, kind soul. I trusted you,” he sneered. He ripped his gaze away from the hurt look on her face, and he began to pace back and forth across the living room. Anger flowing through his veins.

Angela tried to speak once more, but was cut off again.

“So, when can I expect SHIELD to be here, hmm?” he asked bitterly, turning to face her again. A dark sneer set in his visage.

The hurt expression on her face slowly fell, as she prepared herself to answer him.  He folded his arms behind his back, and braced himself for whatever was to come.

She stood unmoving, unblinking in the face of his anger now. “They’re not coming, Loki. I’m not handing you over to them.”

That… was not what he expected to hear. He expected that she would inform them and they would be here within the hour. Or the next couple of minutes.

No, she lied once before, she could do it again. It made no sense not to turn him in. Not after what he had done to Midgard against his battle with Thor. Surely she knew about that.

He needed to stay on his guard around her. His green eyes narrowed in suspicion, and he lifted a brow in question. “You’re not?”

“I’m not handing you over,” she repeated carefully. “If you would just listen to me –”

He scoffed loudly at the idea. He couldn’t trust her. “To give you the chance to manipulate me?”

Anger slowly bled into her features, but she schooled them back into a neutral expression quickly. “I’m not trying to manipulate you.”

“Like you weren’t when you told me you only knew of me from your love of mythology?” he mocked with a laugh.

A look of resignation settled on her face. “Okay, so I misled you with that, I’ll admit,” she relented, “But I haven’t lied about anything else.”

His answer to that was a disbelieving stare.

“Oh don’t act like I’m the only one in the wrong here!” she snapped.

Any retort he had died on his tongue. He had been caught.

“An accident? Really? You expect me to believe that? I know what you did to Earth! You leveled an entire town! And now I’m assigned clean up duty!” she ranted at him before taking a deep breath. “I swear to you, on my momma’s life, I wasn’t going to turn you over. Did the thought cross my mind once? Yes. But I decided against it. I just–”

“Just what?” he interrupted.

“Just wanted to help,” she sighed out. “I’m not sure what exactly happened, but I know how it feels –”

“You know? You KNOW?” he roared, “What would you know of me? Of what I have been through?! How I was betrayed and lied to?” he stalked over to her bookshelf and grabbed the picture of her and her family off of it. “You have this! A perfect bloody family. How would you, a Midgardian, know what I have been through?”

She went over and snatched the photo from him, “I didn’t always have this!” she snapped. “You’re not the only person in the universe to be lied to and betrayed, Loki. Like I said, I don’t know what you went through. But I’ve seen the look in your eyes before. Staring straight back at me in the mirror. Not that long ago, I –”

She paused, trying to collect her thoughts. Her eyes unfocused as the memories of her past resurfaced from where she buried them.

“Is this not your birth mother? Is this not your blood family?” he questioned harshly, breaking her out of her daze.

“Yes,” Angela admitted slowly, “but she didn’t raise me. Hell, I didn’t meet them until I was seventeen.”

The adrenaline that filled her at the start of this whole thing was quickly slipping away, and she took a seat at the far side of the couch. Loki watched every step she took, but still unwilling to stand down. He wasn’t going to trust her easily, and she understood that. Loki’s trust didn’t come easily, nothing with him came easily.

With a breath she begins to explain, “The way my mom tells me is that one day my dad - my real dad - took me to go shopping with him when I was around two years old. Neither of us came home that day. My dad was killed, and I was taken.”

Loki stopped short, astounded at what she just revealed to him. His defensive posture drops.

Angela’s gaze drifted from him to the floor, unable to keep eye contact. Her memories were vivid, she could remember every detail. She continues softly, “The man who took me - Marshall Corbain was his name - was a horrible, horrible man. He raised me to believe he was my father. I was so young I didn’t question it. I was still just a baby.

“And let’s just say he was abusive. I wouldn’t even say he raised me, it was more like he trained me. He trained me to be a weapon, not a person. I never had a childhood. I only had training, and the expectation to be perfect at everything. I finally got away when I was fifteen,” she swallowed the lump that grew in her throat, “SHIELD helped me get rid of him, in exchange for something. But at the last moment I got scared and ran. I gave them what they wanted and when they - Director Fury - offered me a chance, I ran. I thought it was a trap. That’s all I ever knew. So for two years I was on my own. I had never been on my own before. I was always given orders. I was so scared, and lost.”

By this time she had curled into herself, her knees pressed against her chest and her arms wrapped around them. Her voice wasn’t very loud, but it somehow felt louder than when she had her voice raised earlier.

“At first I wanted nothing of the life I had before,” she resumed her story when he says nothing. “But I found myself on the streets soon enough. I had to beg for food and scraps. It starts to fuck with you, you know? I went to homeless shelters, but they weren’t very helpful. I refused to go to an orphanage, I was scared of them putting me with someone like Marshall. I tried to get a job, but without an address it was basically impossible. I couldn’t stand not eating anymore, so I fell back into what I knew. And I hated myself. But I never wanted to be hungry and cold again, so I continued. And doing hits paid good money. And honestly, at the time, I truly believed that’s all I would ever be good at.

“I made a name for myself. Soon enough SHIELD came back, but for me this time. And this time when Fury offered, I accepted. It was that, or prison for everything I had done. And I deserved prison, but I decided to go with them. And that was the best decision of my life. After a few months, they found my mom. Turns out she never gave up hope I was still alive and out there somewhere. SHIELD put me through college, and I got to turn things around.”

Angela finally looked back up at him, unshed tears in her eyes. That stupid ache in his chest that had appeared the night of her nightmares returned. “All I wanted was to help you do the same, Loki. Or help you in any way I could. I was never going to turn you in or anything like that,“ she whispered.

The anger that he felt earlier had left him completely, and left behind in its wake was a deep feeling of shock. Shock, and remorse. She had been right, she did know what he had been through. Almost exactly what he had been through. And he treated her as if she was inferior, and unable to even comprehend the pain he had gone through.

He slowly made his way over, sitting next to her. Silence had filled the space between them as he contemplated what to say. What did one say to that?

He would have to apologize. Apologizing never came easy to him, usually he would rather die than to admit he was the one wrong, but she was owed at least that.

“I believe you,” he began, “And I am terribly sorry, Angela. You may be Midgardian, but that does not exclude you from suffering as I have. It seems we’re more similar than I previously believed.”

She shifts slightly to look up at him. “If you don’t mind me asking, what happened? I wasn’t assigned to this until recently, I only know about your attack on Puente and your brother.”

He flinched slightly. “He’s not my brother.”

“I don’t understand. I was told that you two were brothers.”

Telling her what had happened before his fall had never been a part of his plan. But after everything she had shared, she might be the only one to understand him.

With a heavy sigh he began to speak, “We were raised together by Odin and Frigga. Both of us were led to believe that we were blood kin. And that we both were born to be king. But growing up, I lived in Thor’s shadow. Odin always preferred him to me. All of Asgard preferred him. He was the perfect warrior, the perfect golden prince.  I used my seidr instead of brute strength. And so they called me the Dark Prince.

“I knew Odin would choose Thor as king. But Thor wouldn’t have made a good king. He was arrogant, impulsive, reckless; more apt to destroy everything in his path in the name of glory rather than solve the problem. I had just wanted to show Odin what a mistake it would be to make Thor king. I didn’t want the throne. I just wanted to show that Thor wasn’t as perfect as everyone made him seem. That I too was worthy of the throne, that I was Thor’s equal. So, I set up a plan to interfere on Thor’s coronation day.”

“What did you do?” Angela asked, her eyes alight with curiosity.

“There are ways going to and from Asgard. They are long forgotten, but I learned of them during my research one day. I led one of Asgard’s greatest enemies, The Frost Giants, to one of the passages. I knew they would take the bait; Asgard and Jotunheim despised one another. The war that waged between us has been spoken of often. A cautionary tale, one told to children to tell them how terrifying Frost Giants are. We are told how monstrous they are, and how brave Asgard was for defeating them and protecting Midgard. I knew the Frost Giants wouldn’t be able to do much against Asgard, they only breached Odin’s Vault. But it was enough for Thor to do exactly what I knew he would. He wanted to go attack the Frost Giants.

“I ordered a guard to inform Odin of Thor’s plan to attack Jotunheim. I didn’t want anyone to be harmed. Our small group of five was no real threat to the entire Jotunheim army. So, having Odin come would save us. In the end… it didn’t matter. When we arrived, one Frost Giant touched Volstagg’s arm, giving him frostbite instantaneously. However, when one grabbed me, I wasn’t harmed at all. My arm began to turn blue, the same shade as the Frost Giant I was fighting.”

Angela gasped sympathetically at the revelation. He paused, emotions welling up within him. He closed his eyes, only to open them when he felt her lay her hand on his shoulder. He gazed over at her, she had shifted closer to him, offering him comfort.

He continued, “Odin came and saved us all, just as I planned. But what I did not plan for was when we returned to Asgard, he banished Thor. How was I to know he would banish him? Thor had hardly ever suffered any punishment when we were growing up. Not as I had. Odin punished me for every singular thing I did wrong, but never Thor. And for Odin to banish him? I never imagined Odin would go to such an extreme. Nor did I plan on finding out that I was not Odinson. I was Laufey’s son, abandoned during the war; left to die. Odin took me in, and raised me so I could claim Jotunheim’s throne, not Asgard’s. It was no wonder I was never considered, no wonder I was treated the way I was. He could never have a Frost Giant on the throne. A monster could never be King of Asgard.

“Odin fell into the Odinsleep during our confrontation, which left me the only one to be king. I tried everything in my power to prove I was worthy. I killed Laufey, I could have ended the war with Jotunheim. But in the end it wasn’t enough for Odin. In the end, he still preferred Thor. The Bifrost broke, and Thor and I almost fell. Odin awoke and tried to catch us. But I was unable to hang on… and I fell.” he finished softly, quietly.

He could remember clearly Odin’s words as he was dangling on the precipice of the Bifrost. ‘No, Loki.’ He was never enough, even then.

It was silent for a moment once again. They each took in what was just told. It was Angela who broke the silence this time. “You didn’t fall though, did you?”

Loki lifted his head from his gaze on the floor to look over at her; startled that she quickly saw through his words. “What?”

The tears in her eyes had returned. They did not fall, but they were building up at the corners. “You didn’t fall, you let go.”

“And what makes you say that?” His voice was hard, defensive.

Now the tears did fall, “Because that’s how Fury found me. On the roof of a skyscraper, ready to let go of it all. I know exactly what you mean.”

Oh. His face dropped. “Yes, I let go. And I didn’t plan on surviving the fall, but here I am.”

If he would have said that earlier, it would have been spoken in a bitter tone. But now? Now he was enjoying his time with Angela. For the first time in a long time, he felt connected with someone other than his family.

She may be the only person in the Realms that he had by his side.

Angela squeezed his shoulder and gave him a soft smile that made his heart flutter in his chest.

“For what it’s worth Loki. I’m glad you’re here.”

“As am I, darling.”

#loki x ofc #loki x oc #loki/ofc #loki/oc #loki #loki fanfic #loki odinson #loki laufeyson #bloodied and broken

[terresdebrume]

So I finally finished rewatching Thor (my laptop doesn’t like playing a movie after a day’s work) and tbh it’s interesting to think of how my interpretation of Loki’s situation has gone over the years.

When I first saw that movie, honestly, I was not only 100 % on Loki’s side, it was simply impossible for me to like Thor, or Odin, or basically anyone else in the movie no matter how badass they were (sorry, Sif). I was in a pretty bad place that winter and Loki’s emotional position struck me as so deeply relatable it hurts...which kind of showed, since I wrote 80 fics featuring (and, often, starring) Loki out of, at the time, something like 115 stories1.

After a while and some navigating through the Thor vs Loki fans/stans wars on Tumblr, it kind of evolved into thinking that yes, Loki’s feelings of hurt and betrayal were real, but since his family loved him he should just work on his own insecurities and get over it, so to speak. The part where Loki was a Frost Giant and how that put Odin’s actions in a different light (whether you assume Odin’s reactions to Loki were 100 % conscious or not) was...pushed aside, sort of. I think it was in part because you can hardly reconcile ‘Loki, this is on you, get over it’ and ‘maybe your parents didn’t really treat you as you needed and maybe it’s in part due to your species and their racism’.

The funny bit is, how I view Loki’s situation seems to be tied to how I interpret my own, actually. Back in 2011, I was very angry toward my family and half convinced they didn’t love me (fun times, in case you were wondering). By 2012, when Avengers came out, I’d fantasized so much about Loki coming back and getting the apologies he needed (from his parents, from his brother, from basically anyone in his life) listening to Thor’s jokes about how Loki was adopted physically hurt. I can’t say that raised the character in my esteem, but at the same time, looking back on it...well, it’s kind of a realistic continuation of Thor. I mean, by the end of that movie no one seems to question Odin’s decisions, no one seems to consider maybe there were things that led to this state of affair in the family besides Loki’s own character/judgment flaws.

At the time, if I recall correctly, that kind of felt like a slap to the face. It didn’t entirely prevent me from enjoying the movie, but I still couldn’t help but feel it was one more way to remind me the public that I Loki was making it all up and needed to shut up because my his family loved me him and therefore not being satisfied with that was, in essence, a character flaw.

In The Dark World, Loki gets punished for what he did in Thor and The Avengers which, lbr he deserves (though full disclosure, I subscribe to the manipulation and psychological abuse at the hand of Thanos theory, so I’m less on board for punishing him for that2). Once again though, there is no questioning of other people’s behavior around him. Frigga basically tells him he’s too self-centered/a bit of a hypocrite, people who supposedly mourned for him3 line up to issue death threats...once again, it’s all on him and his core flaw of not being happy with what makes other people happy. And once again, I thought maybe Loki ought to just get over himself and be happy with things as they were. 2013 was a bit of a better year for me4 so in a sense, it was easier to think that maybe, if I just got it through my head that my family loved me, I’d finally be happy and feel content with myself...which in turn made it easier to accept, again, that Loki was probably just a lost cause and should get over himself.

And then came Ragnarok.

I haven’t really made it a secret that I was disappointed by it, in significant parts because the humor trend of ‘let’s ridicule our character’ was taken way further than what I expected from this franchise and strayed waaaay away from the tone of the previous two movies5. But with a little more time to think about it, I think anther significant part of my disappointment with this move is that, once again, I didn’t get the emotional conclusion I was hoping for. I’m no longer in the same emotional state as I was in 2011, but I’ve also let go of the ‘you should get over it’ mindset, both for myself and for Loki. I’ve said it before but it bears repeating: how I view Loki’s situation is heavily influenced by how I process mine and vice-versa. The result of that is, as I allowed myself to feel hurt/wronged by the way my family acted around me again, it kind of allowed me to start wishing for...idk, balance? A satisfying end to my emotional arc? And to wish the same thing for Loki.

Thor: Ragnarok was...a painful, but probably realistic reminder that this will probably never happen. Beyond the fact that both Frigga and Odin are now dead and are therefore incapable of evolving in any capacity, I highly doubt Thor is ever going to wake up and realize what it’s like to be in Loki’s shoes, which would be a requirement for him to realize what kind of apology Loki needs to hear and why. Similarly, I highly doubt my family is ever going to wake up and apologize for the way they reacted to how they and I were different and how much that hurt, sometimes.

The common point here is Thor, like my fam, did nothing wrong by the social standards he’s accustomed to. I doubt Asgard sees dismissing un-warrior-like behavior as wrong, I doubt they see asserting your alpha male authority by telling others to shut up as wrong, and I doubt they see the constant mocking and belittling of Frost Giants as wrong...so for Thor to admit doing these things are wrong and hurtful would require him to admit not only that he has been hurting someone he cares about by accident but also that the entire moral landscape he (and his country) based his worldview on is flawed, which is complicated and painful and which Thor hasn’t shown any sign of doing so far, and neither has my family6

From there, the logical conclusion is that the moment of emotional justice I crave for both myself and Loki will most likely never happen. I don’t think there’s ever going to be a moment when Thor looks Loki in the eyes and says ‘I didn’t mean to, but I hurt you anyway, I get how, I’m sorry, and I’m not gonna do it again’. I don’t know how they’ll deal with that in the movies, if they’ll keep this craving as part of Loki’s characterization or if they’ll eventually reach a point where Loki is just a-okay with his situation even without the emotional closure7 but either way, it’s not going to happen for Loki, and it’s probably not going to happen to me either and that is...something I have trouble mourning, I guess. Which, well. There’s always fics, and things I could write myself, but it’s not exactly the same thing, is it?

I’m doing a rough estimate of my cumulated AO3+FFN count of the time here. Might get it wrong.

Also for what it’s worth I think it’s super fucked up (though utterly unsurprising) how the entire franchise dropped Loki’s frost-giant-ness and how that probably influenced the way Odin (and, consequently, everyone else) treated him, not to mention the hot mess that is his decision to exterminate all Frost Giants only after he discovers he is one.

Not very long if we got by the ending of Thor but, you know. Let’s pretend they did. (Also I acknowledge that, post Thor, they have rock solid reason to assume he’d be capable of attempting murder on Thor and to distrust him in general. I guess I just feel like they mourned their supposed friendship with him really fast).

Shoutout to my tumblr friends and to the awesome Winnie for helping me through so much bullshit.

The most frustrating part of that is that there are many things to like in this movie, from the criticism of Asgard’s imperialism and the whole ‘benevolent conqueror’ narrative that’s been the baseline from Thor and was criticized even then, to the fact that Ragnarok!Loki is probably the closest we’ve seen to the real Loki (given that it’s the first movie where he didn’t start out in the middle of an emotional crisis). Unfortunately for me, the way they were conveyed didn’t jam with my hopes/expectations for the movie.

I never pretended this wasn’t a personal post ^^’

To be honest, what I’ve heard about Loki in Infinity Wars so far kind of makes me fear a relapse, but I’m hoping they’re just planting red herrings. Hopefully.

#my posts #matt has a life #matt watches #mcu #loki #thor #thor's first #What were you the god of again #spoilers #ragnarok spoilers #where is my oversized male ego #my meta #mcu meta #this is half meta half personal tbh #replying to it purely on meta levels is ok though

[tyrannuspitch]

okay so i’m watching the scene with loki and frigga in the dungeons, and while loki absolutely SHOULD take responsibility for his crimes... while part of this is definitely just about deflecting and being unable to handle guilt or vulnerability... he also has a good bullshit detector. and odin and thor are BOTH being incredible hypocrites right now.

loki is sitting in the dungeons day after day watching prisoners of war arrive. his attempted coup in thor 2011 destabilised the nine realms and now they’re in rebellion. and thor is out there, on odin’s orders, essentially reconquering all these places. imperialism is okay when thor and odin do it, apparently? imperialism proves thor worthy of the throne when he does it?? but loki did it without permission, and now odin wants him fucking dead???

interesting. very interesting.

#marvel (re)watch march 22 #space viking tag #meta #s: t2 #ch: loki #ch: odin #r: loki + odin #th: cycles + scapegoats #th: abuse + empire #th: war + apocalypse

[xxxprettydeadgirlxxx]

Dark Paradise

Loki/OFC Rated M (for Violence and NSFW) Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12                                             Chapter 13

Octavia had gotten sick again, and it had been that way on and off all week. Loki was worried and she had no idea what was wrong with her, so she spent most of her time either sleeping or throwing up. She began to wonder if something was really wrong and it wasn't just a stomach bug like she had assumed. Loki wondered if perhaps someone else was causing her to be sick; for instance - the one who possessed the Seidr he still felt. "How are you feeling now, love?" Loki placed a hand on her forehead. He was sitting on his knees on the floor by Octavia, who was lying on the couch after she had attempted to get up; only to begin feeling dizzy and nauseous again.

"I'm okay if I'm lying down." She groaned. Octavia was miserable. She couldn't keep anything down now, and she knew her dizzy spells were due to not getting enough nutrients. She hadn't been that worried before, but now she was getting concerned. If she kept this up, she wouldn't last the month. She was tired and weak, yet, she still tried to act strong around Loki. The look on his face broke her heart. He was so worried and he didn't sleep anymore.

She could hear him pacing the halls at night.

Loki placed a hand on her side and rubbed it gently. When she moaned in response he wondered if rubbing her stomach, as well as the aid of magic, would help to soothe away her nausea. He assumed he'd been too worried to think of that possible solution sooner. Loki slid a hand over her stomach, underneath her shirt. He closed his eyes, getting ready to begin concentrating when he stiffened. Octavia noticed his change in demeanor and he was staring at his hand now; wide-eyed. "Loki? Loki, what's wrong?" she asked, slightly panicked. Was she dying? Was it cancer? Why was he freaking out right now? Loki sucked in a breath and held it. He could feel it; the Seidr he'd been sensing for over a week now. It was inside her.

No, it can't be. Loki concentrated fully this time, shh'ing Octavia in the process of her panic. That's when he heard it. A heartbeat.

A child.

Octavia was carrying his child. How? He had been so careful, so very, very....

Loki didn't realize he was still holding his breath until he had to come back to reality, gasping for air in the process. He'd forgotten. One time. Or, well, one night. That night. The night with the special mushrooms; it had to have been that night. He could remember casting the spell every time, except that night.

He'd screwed up, and now he was terrified she was going to resent him for it. She'd freaked out the very first time they'd had sex and he had assured her he wouldn't get her pregnant.

Octavia was stuck with him now. What if she decided she didn't like him anymore? They'd only been dating two months. In Asgard, courtship goes quickly, but she wasn't from Asgard. She was from Midgard. They handled relationships a lot differently. When Octavia started screaming his name he finally snapped out of it once more.

"LOKI! For fuck's sake! Answer me!" she cried. "How bad is it? Am I going to die? What's wrong with me! I know you know, I see it all over your face!"

Loki sucked in another breath and braced himself for the worst. She was going to be so mad at him, perhaps even hate him. "O." he began, biting his lip. "I screwed up." he choked. He wasn't sure if he could bring himself to say it. How was she going to react? Would she...want to get rid of it? He wasn't sure if he could bear that...

"Loki, what are you talking about?" Why did Loki seem so scared right now? If she didn't know any better, he was holding back tears.

Loki choked out a sob, confirming Octavia's suspicions and she was so nervous her body was trembling all over. What was wrong with him? She'd never seen him like this. Hell, she never thought she'd ever see Loki like this. "O, you're with child..." he muttered through his sobs. "My child."

"What!" She was pregnant?! Then it hit her; she couldn't remember her last period-being so sick, dizzy, her sore breasts she'd blown off. "Oh, my god..." she gasped. "When?" Her voice was barely over a whisper now.

"That night, the night with-" he didn't need to finish. Octavia had clasped her hands over her mouth. "I'm so sorry." he winced, closing his eyes to brace himself for the screaming that was about to come-but it never came. "O?"

She bit her lip. Why was she not as freaked as she had assumed she'd react? Why was she taking this so well?

"O, please, say something! Scream, yell, something. I cannot bear the silence..." Loki gave her a pleading look and she looked at him confused. "You are angry, are you not?"

"Well, I mean..." Was she? "I should be, but I'd be a hypocrite. It does take two to make a baby." she paused; swallowing. "I knew the risks and we were both messed up that night. I can't put all the blame on you."

Loki was floored. "I do not understand."

"What?"

"It was my responsibility to ensure that-"

"Loki, it's not just all on you. Though, there isn't much I can do here, I could have very well made you pull out, or tried a little harder."

"But, I had assured you..." Why wasn't she angry?

"Yeah, but shit happens." she shrugged. "Is that why you are so upset, because you think I'm going to be mad at you?"

Well, duh. "Of course! Why else would I be upset?"

She looked at him dumbfounded. "I don't know. Perhaps, because we've been dating less than two months and you've already knocked me up. Most guys wouldn't take that so well." Was she in the twilight zone right now?

"Well, darling, where I'm from courtship goes rather quickly." he explained. "If we were going by Asgardian customs we would already be wed."

Her eyes widened. "Seriously!? Damn, for people who live for so long, you all sure do move fucking fast!" She couldn't believe it. MARRIED, by now?

"Yes, well, I'm aware in Midgard, customs such as those are not as common."

"No. If it were anyone else, he would have already run for the door by now." She rolled her eyes. "But, you're seriously okay with this?"

"Yes. Are you?" Loki swallowed. "I understand if you feel the need to, you know."

"What?"

"Get rid of it." he murmured sadly. That was the LAST thing he wanted her to do, but it wasn't up to him. It was her body; her choice. He would support her no matter what.

"Loki, no!" she exclaimed. "Even if-I couldn't do that." Octavia licked her lips. "Listen, if you're good with this so am I."

"But what about...what if we return to Midgard? Jane, Thor-"

"What about them?" she questioned. "They have nothing to do with you and me. As far as they are aware, we're dead. I'm sure Jane has given up by now. Thor never came for us."

"F-Odin wouldn't allow him, even if he wanted to." Loki noted and she made a face.

"I hate your father the more you tell me." she spat angrily. "Let's hope I never meet that son of a bi-"

Loki cupped a hand over her mouth. "Shh, doesn't mean someone isn't watching, love." Loki warned. "I do not need to give him another reason to hurt me."

She nodded in understanding. "Sorry. He just pisses me off." Octavia let out a sigh and then groaned. "I feel sick again. At least I know why I'm throwing up so much. I'm an idiot to have not figured it out sooner."

"Darling, you are no such thing. I didn't think of such circumstances, either." Loki reminded her. "Maybe now we can figure out how to get you better, and perhaps keep down your food. You are eating for two now, pet." Loki beamed and she giggled. "What?"

"You're adorable." Loki frowned. "No! It's just, you look so excited."

"Well, it's just...I never thought-" Loki trailed off, looking at the floor.

He never thought he'd ever have children, much less with someone who wanted to have children with him.

"Well, things change." 

@burningarbiterheart@mastreworld @neurotic-narwhal@helenaisabel@hellokittyismyspiritanimal@court-of-thorns-and-roses@mad-about-britain@archy3001@iamhisgloriouspurpose@scoobysnacks31 @sweetangelfan @Kidamon @myclock​ @prettyhatemachine01​ @catqueen434​ @worthyofthewhedonverse09​ @iwishiwasamutant​ @normanallthewayforever@wolfsmom1

#loki #loki fic #Dark Paradise

[omegaqueencas]

for the meme for fic writers thing: 1,2,3,13,14,25,26,37

Bae, thanks for the questions *-*

for this meme

1. Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic.

So apparently I love writing about Arranged Marriages. I don’t really know why but well. When it comes to reading, I love angst fics with a happy ending. Or crack tbh.

2. Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

Well, there’s the ABO wincest and merthur fic I’ve been trying to write but I’m really insecure about. And the wincest one I’m so unhappy with it omg. But it’s honestly a trope I wish I could finish a fic for and actually be happy with the result.

3. Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole?

I’ve read a couple of these, but it never really sat well with me, but homeless AUs where one of them are homeless always make me uncomfortable for some reason and I doubt I’d ever write something like that. I mean, I’m not going to say ‘never’ because I know better than to say this hahaha, but for now, it’s not something I’d be comfortable writing. But overall, I’m really open to many things and if it’s for a present or a prompt, I might try writing it, even if it’s just for the challenge of it. I like going out of my comfort zone little by little. I believe it makes me a better writer, so... :)

13. What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

I don’t know if it counts, but the ‘if there’s a fic with this trope/plotline’ out there, you can still write your own. And there was even a comparison about cakes. While you, as a writer/baker might feel intimidated by writing something similar to what others have already done, the readers/cake enthusiasts will be overjoyed to have more to read in that trope. So basically, just write what you feel like writing and don’t compare yourself to others.

14. What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?

Damn, idk. I don’t think I’ve come across bad advice in general? I got bad feedback (”this fic is shit, sorry” and “you should probably get a beta to help with your grammar” aka your grammar sucks but instead of offering to help i’m just going to point it out to you), but not bad writing advice. At least I can’t think of any, right now.

25. What do you look for in a beta?

YOU. No, but really, I always like having your feedback. I think a beta is supposed to be more than just a ‘find the typos/suggest other words or sentences/find your mistakes’ person. No, I want the person to give me feedback, to tell me what they liked or if there’s something odd with the story. Therefore, I mostly trust friends, because I know I won’t be offended, since I know y’all just want my story to be better. I’m not very good at receiving criticism, which is awful I know, but for now I ‘look for’ betas who I’m comfortable with, like you. ♥

26. Do you beta yourself? If so, what kind of beta are you?

Like I said above, when I do it, I try to give more feedback than just the ‘finding mistakes’ thing that is required. In all honesty, I know I have this problem that I almost don’t point out the good things, but since I’m focused trying to help improve something, if I didn’t mention something, it’s probably because it’s good. I wholeheartedly love the stories I help beta (like the wincest and the wolfstar one you sent me for the challenge), but I want to genuinely help you write the best thing ever, y’know? And I know I’m being a bit of a hypocrite because I didn’t like it when the feedback I received when I was teaching was all bad, even though I was aware that ‘if it wasn’t mentioned, it was because it was good’. I need to hear at least one good thing, and I always try to point out a few of my favourite things, but I know I suck and I’m overly critical and serious when I try to help and beta a fic. (which is why I’m more comfortable betaing fics for friends, like you hahahah)

37. Talk about your current wips.

OH BOY, SIT THE HELL DOWN BECAUSE I HAVE 029380923123 WIPS

The first one worth mentioning is Heartlines. It’s a bagginshield, arranged marriage AU and I’m so fucking proud of it. It’s fluffy, it’s cute, and it really makes me happy to write it. You should totally read it if you haven’t yet.

Then, I have the J2, Jessica Jones!AU that was supposed to be written for the SPN & J2 Big Bang, but it grew too much and it’s too big and I won’t be able to finish in time to post it. However, I have three finished chapters and I was thinking in maybe start posting it now. Or I’ll only post it once I’m finished. Idk. Thoughts?

Speaking of Big Bang, I was writing a wincest, omegaverse AU for the Wincest Big Bang but ugh, I’m so unhappy with that fic that I don’t know if I’ll finish it for the BB or not. It starts around the beginning of season 2 and it’s supposed to finish around season six, so, yeah. There’s a lot to cover yet and I’m not even sure anymore if I’m going to follow through with it.

WIPs that I have but I’m not currently working at are: Drarry, arranged marriage AU, mpreg; Wincest, Harry Potter AU; Merthur, Omegaverse AU; House MD crossover with Dead Poets Society, Hilson; Wincest, separated when young and don’t know they are brothers AU, non-supernatural AU; Thorki, Odin didn’t take Loki, who’s taken by a random jotun and protected, but Laufey is trying to find him to kill him; Thorki, arranged marriage AU, mpreg AU; Cherik, Little Mermaid AU. 

Some of these have been in my folder for YEARS. The drarry one, the hilson one and the second wincest are at least 7 years old. It’s awful, I need to get my shit together, hahahaha.

#about cas #writer tag #snowhites #answered

[ashaphros]

Mythology Asks answered for @tombsofthevoid

Anubis: How do you feel about death? Death used to terrify me. I couldn’t even go past a graveyard without wigging out. Now I hang out in them, and I feel like death really is just another part of life. I feel like our physical time is limited, so truly we should just live in the moment, because we never know when it’ll end.

Atum: What are your greatest imperfections? Feeling too much and my chubby cheeks.

Bastet: Do you have any cats? I have a cat named Critter who is beautiful and mouthy and weird and she is the love of my life.

Hathor: What brings you joy? Music, singing, roadtrips, traveling, writing stuff I’m proud of, the wind, the grass on my feet, the ocean, the stars, being intertwined with someone (but also how the slightest touch can hold so much power), feeling completely comfortable with someone, making mix CDs/playlists, when the Orioles win …………

Horus: What is one thing you’ve had to fight for in your life? My self-worth. I used to only feel good about myself when someone wanted to have sex with me, but finding value in myself without any outside influence has been a serious struggle and I feel like I’ll be fighting for it my whole life.

Osiris: Do you believe in the underworld? I want to believe, but no. I definitely believe in the spirit world and other realms besides the physical, but I don’t think there’s one specific underworld. I think it’s all around us and happening at the same time. I do carry a penny in my pocket or bra at all times though, so if you’re with me when I die, please make sure to put it in my mouth to pay Charon to help me shift out of the physical world as this current incarnation.

Ra: Do you have any major responsibilities or importance? We all important b. But, I feel like coming out to my family as bisexual is important. I have no problem telling people I’ve just met that I’m bi, but my sisters are super baptist and I hold a lot of fear that they’ll either never want to see me again, or have me around my nieces and nephew, or look at me the same. But I think being totally honest with them, to have them know they are bloodlinked with someone they believe is “wrong” will give them a different perspective on humans in general. We’re all in this together, and my heart goes out to all closeted people who choose to be out of fear.

Thoth: Do you like to read/write? Yessssssssss. I work at a library and I dunno how many stacks of books I have around the house. I’m a major defender against censorship. My favorite books are Siddhartha, 1984, and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. I also love fiction that takes place in the 60s and 70s (like The Girls and Crooked) and futuristic stuff that feels like it takes place in the past (like The Giver, Fahrenheit 451, and Cat’s Cradle). I loveeeeeee Greek mythology, so I’ve read a bunch of the individual myths and Myths of the Ancient Greeks by Richard P. Martin is really groovy, and I’ve been trying to make it through The Odyssey for about a year now, but I’m not giving up! I’ve been writing since I was in first grade. I’ve always kept a journal. I write poems and I’ve tried short stories but never had much luck sticking with them. I would love to travel though and gain experiences and incorporate them in my writing and it’s a goal of mine to get published one day.

Arawn: What is the most terrifying thing you’ve ever done? Probably any time I was the first person to tell someone I liked them, and especially when I loved them.

Bran: How is your health? Hahahaha, fucking shitty. I was diagnosed with colitis on Halloween a few years back, and I’m not keeping it in check, so physically, my joints (especially my knees) kill and there are times I use energy work to help my digestion when I can feel my intestines burning and yelling at me. My doctor thinks it was psychosomatic, I wanted to be skinny and I was feeding off other people’s reactions like “Oh you look so good!” when I was shitting blood 20+ times a day, that I waited so long to get looked at and my body is/was attacking itself. I was also diagnosed with major depression a couple summers ago and it was like “so THIS is what’s wrong with me”– sleeping 10 hours and still feeling tired, not wanting to plan my life or even seeing a point in it, cutting, no self-worth. I’m a hell of a lot better than I was, but I recognize that this is something that is never going to go away, and to try and focus on what brings me joy instead of what brings me down. I’ve been feeling super suicidal these past couple weeks though, to the point where I can’t even hold a knife without wanting to shove it into my stomach, but I’m still here and I’m still fighting.

Brighid: Tell us about your relationship with your father. My dad left us when I was five and it was kind of like “oh, dad’s not living with us anymore”, I didn’t really understand what was going on. I’d see him Wednesday nights and every other weekend, and I absolutely loved driving around and listening to the classic rock station in his truck. It wasn’t until I was a teenager, dealing with his alcoholism and finding out about his affair with one of my sister’s friends, that everything hit me. The day he went into rehab was the first time I cut. I don’t think he’s ever loved himself and I don’t think he ever wanted kids (he got my mom pregnant when she was 19 and I think married her because it was “the right thing to do”, instead of being honest with himself and letting his marriage go on for 17 years and three children later), and when I realized that, I was so angry, but it also brought some clarity to the situation. He’s with a woman now he’s known since he was a kid, and she’s super quirky and outgoing and cool, but at the same time, controlling and demeaning and will cut you off if you’re on her bad side, and he never sticks up for himself or me and my sisters, he just goes along with whatever she says. He lives six hours away and I haven’t seen him since January and it’s been over a month since we’ve spoken on the phone, but I believe we have this unspoken understanding that we love each other and think about each other. I just wish he loved himself more, and I’m sure he feels the same about me.

Cernunnos: What is your favorite animal? Llamas, cats, seahorses, octopi, capybaras, crows …………

Danu: What is your relationship with your mother? I held a lot of resentment toward my mom as a teenager because of our conflicting beliefs on religion and lifestyle and my drug use. But since I was 9, it’s been me and her because my sisters are so much older than me and my dad was out of the house, so I’ve been her therapist and confidant my whole life. But I’ve hidden so much from her. It’s still very hard to be completely honest with her, even though we are living under the same roof (which I’m very grateful she let me move back in). But once I start seeing that it’s okay to live the life I want and take steps to move out, I hope our relationship can flourish. We’re similar in that we’re both giving and hardworking and we look so much alike that there’s no denying we’re mother and daughter. She’s going through some health problems with her heart rn, and I’m truly scared, but she knows I’m here for her just like she has been my whole life.

Morrigan: What do you think happens when we die? I believe we are a collection of mental, spiritual, and emotional energy inhabiting a physical body, and when we die, our soul(s) search for another body to continue what we need to learn or let go of and this continues until the physical work is done. I think once that happens, we’ll be able to travel through all realms freely.

Olwen: What is your favorite flower? Honeysuckle. I love summer and it’s the sweetest tasting thing on earth and it represents intertwined lovers, which I think is so beautiful.

Rhiannon: Have you ever been betrayed? A friend in high school dated two guys I liked, one she knew I was especially into. But they both turned out to be assholes, so hey.

Bragi: What kind of music do you listen to? Mainly 60s and 70s rock (Black Sabbath, The Rolling Stones, Kiss, Rod Stewart, The Beatles, Led Zeppelin) but I dig Otis Redding, Sublime, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Van Halen, Pearl Jam, Eric Burdon, Aretha Franklin, Stevie Nicks ………….. I love the sitar and harpsichord and accordion and violin, so I listen to some “world music” too.

Freya: Have you ever been in love? Once, and I currently am. It’s with a guy I want so bad, I’ve built up in my head that he’s my soulmate/twin flame, but he is so hypocritical (he doesn’t want anything with anyone, but wants everything with someone at the same time) and feeds off hate, that I feel like I’m just running my heart over back and forth with my truck thinking about us being forever. It sucks and it hurts dude, and I can’t keep killing myself over him, but I continue to do so every second of every day.

Freyr: Do you have any children? I am a proud and cool aunt of two nieces and a nephew, and I just recently found out one of my sisters is pregnant. Biologically I’m built to have children, but mentally, I don’t think I’m meant to have children in this lifetime.

Hœnir: Are you a silent or talkative person? Silent for the most part, but with the right person, I can talk and talk about music and movies and books and mythology and philosophy forever.

Iounn: How old are you? 25

Loki: What is the best trick you’ve ever pulled on someone? Probably that I’ve been straight since I was 11. Uhmmmmmm when I was like 5, I hid in a cabinet in the kitchen to scare my sisters when they got home from school, and my mom and her friends were playing cards at the table and I was in there so long they forgot I was there until my sisters came in for food and I slowly opened the cabinet door and scared the shit out of alllllllll of them.

Odin: What is your family like? My mom likes watching movies and playing cards (I want to take her to Vegas, like she’s THAT good, but all she thinks that town is is drugs and hookers smh) and gardening. My dad is a really good cook, he’s sensitive and artsy. My oldest sister Lauren loves being outdoors, she has a wonderful laugh, and she is really good with a sewing machine, but her husband doesn’t appreciate her and it pisses me off. My sister Stacy is hilarious, she took me to my first concert (Def Leppard, which I’ve now seen three times), a really great photographer, but I feel like marriage and motherhood has made her a shell and it makes me sad, like she’s forgotten who she is. My niece Emery is 10 and headstrong, a painter and drawer and wrestler, and demands to be heard, she’s my snuggle buddy. My nephew Landon is 7 and sweet as can be, likes building things, and sees through the bullshit. I hope to one day feel completely comfortable in my skin with all of them and I’m striving toward it.

Thor: Would you consider yourself pretty powerful? I didn’t think so for a long time, but now I’m beginning to see that I am. Wicca and meditation and energy work and being able to see and feel the spirit world around us have tremendously helped with that. I recognize that being hypersensitive and empathetic and peace loving are not bad qualities, but strong ones.

Tree: What have you done with your life? What are you going to do with it? I feel like I’ve done nothing with my life besides give it away to other people, most of whom didn’t even ask me to. What I am going to do though is travel and sing and write and shed my light on this world.

Aphrodite: What do you think of yourself? Depends on the day or hour you ask, but I think I am compassionate and open minded, a sensualist, an old soul, musical, self-destructive, passionate, an observer ………….

Ares: Are you an easy person to anger? When it comes to judging or hating someone because they’re “different” than you, then yes, I will get pissed, but I’m pretty easy going for the most part.

Athena: Would you consider yourself an artist? Yes, I’m a singer and writer and appreciater of all art.

Apollo: Do you play any instruments? I’ve been dabbling with the piano and some percussion, but nah, I’m much more of a singer.

Dionysus: Do you drink? Yes, I love Long Island Iced Teas and piña coladas and I recently started drinking beer, I just need to learn to be patient and not drink so much at the beginning of planning on getting drunk because lately I’ve been throwing up because of it.

Hades: Do you have a bad reputation? I don’t give a damn bout my bad reputation.

Hekate: Have you ever tried to communicate with the dead? I had a dream once that I was in a house where all the relatives on my dad’s side of the family were. My grandma died when I was 2, and I heard she was a very kind lady who listened to Creedence Clearwater Revival on her tractor, and I want nothing more than to be able to meet up with her, so ever since, when I meditate, I try to go back to that house and find her. There’s also a little boy ghost I saw when I was thirteen with big brown eyes and a bowl cut that, when I told the guy I’m in love with about him, he said he’s seen him too, so I’ve been trying for the past year to contact him too.

Hermes: Have you ever stolen anything? Lipgloss from Target and a pack of Marlboro Gold 100s from my friend’s grandparents when I was fifteen. Stealing the cigarettes still haunts me ten years later.

Poseidon: Are you a moody person? Yeah, I’ve been known to be emotionally unstable and I’m trying to get a grasp on it.

Zeus: Are you a confidant person? Sometimes, but not usually. If it has to do with music or dates or actors’ names and what they’ve been in and when, I’m always like “I got this” though.

Pluto: Where do you think we go when we die? I think we go wherever our next incarnation needs to grow.

Apollo & Dianna: Do you prefer to be up during the day or at night? Night

Mars: Have you ever gotten into a fight? I never liked confrontation, but I’m seeing that it’s important to stand up for what you believe. Most fights I’ve been in have been over trying to explain something that doesn’t come out right. And I honestly would love to get into a fist fight some day, just to feel what it’s like. I really want to punch one of my exes in the mouth, like if I ever see him again, I’m gonna punch him in the mouth and then walk away.

Minerva: Do you generally give good advice? I do, and I never take my own advice.

Proserpine: Have you ever felt trapped? I feel trapped rn. I’ve never felt like myself, always trying to be what I think other people want me to be, and it’s left me lost and trapped.

Plutus: Do you have a job? Library represent. My dream job though would be to have my own radio station.

Venus: Have you ever had your heart broken? It’s breaking as I speak.

Vesta: Do you like being home or do you try to get out whenever you can? I do like staying home and reading, meditating, taking a bath, sleeping, watching the Orioles play and That 70s Show on tv, but I do love going out and hanging out in graveyards, at Waffle House, walking around getting drunk or stoned, singing in the car, and rollerblading. I feel a calling to get up and leave asap.

Morpheus: Do you daydream often? Of what? I live in a daydream. I daydream about singing onstage, of sitting in a coffee shop in a new city writing, of being with the guy I love forever, of meeting up with a shaman to help me navigate through the spirit world better, of living at a Buddhist temple and working for the monks and cleansing my negative energy, of hitchhiking, of being 100% and completely me.

#ash

[el-gordo-grande]

Yesterday, Sunday March 19, at city hall the far right, decidedly islamophobic group Canadian Coalition of Concerned Citizens held a rally against a motion seeking to condemn Islamophobia and all forms of racial and religious discrimination (motion M103, if you'd like to search for more info). In attendance to 'protect free speech' were the Soldiers of Odin, listed as a hate group by the ADL, and the Canadian Jewish Defense League, a far right Zionist group whose original American counterpart has been described by the FBI as an extremist group and has been connected to multiple terror attacks within the US. They also held a rally on March 4, with soldiers of Odin in attendance of this event as well. The March 4 event was wonderful, antifascists and anti racists outnumbered them considerably. The Soldiers of Odin were too afraid to be physically aggressive with protestors, and the CCCC had to cancel their planned march through downtown Toronto. All of the right wing protesters were forced to leave with police protection. Yesterday, however, was a different story. For one, the right wing extremists seemed to be larger in number, and the counter demonstration was considerably smaller than the last one. I'd estimate that we either had the same amount of people as them at our peak. However, there were not enough of us to stop them from marching to the CBC, and many on our side decided not to follow the march, leaving us who did more vulnerable to physical assault. Emboldened by a lack of resistance, JDL and SOO members were happy to incite or attempt to incite violence. During the marching portion, a Soldier of Odin shoved me against a wall and ripped my sign, but thankfully his peers pulled him away before he could do more. An older woman attempted to hit me from behind with her sign, attached to a wooden handle of sorts, but thankfully one of the antifascist protesters blocked it and I was only grazed. Ironically this woman called me a coward for concealing my identity, but that's beside the point. If our white so called allies had turned out, we could have prevented a parade of fascists and white supremacists from waltzing through downtown Toronto. Where were all the liberals and self proclaimed progressives who live in this allegedly progressive city? Where were those posting "Make Racists Afraid Again" or "I stand with ____" following the inauguration of trump? I know I invited everyone I knew to come out but only two of my friends showed for any of it and both had to leave early, one for medical issues and the other for prior commitments. Everyone else, people who claimed to stand in solidarity with marginalized groups, people who claimed to oppose fascism and and white supremacy, either ignored my facebook messages or had a convenient and vague excuse to stay home. When you, white allies, choose to stay home, you put other protesters at a higher risk than had you shown. There is safety in numbers, as demonstrated by the fear and lower rates of aggression at the first rally. When you, moderate liberals, choose to actively ignore the growing threat that is right wing extremism, you allow a movement that should have no platform to grow almost unobstructed, which further normalizes far right extremist views in mainstream conservative political circles. Your inaction makes you complicit in the spread of fascism. Before you argue that you can oppose fascism without attending protests or doing more than making a few facebook posts, I agree that you can be ideologically opposed to fascism, but you are not doing anything to actually oppose fascism and bigotry. Paying lip service to a cause is insulting and irritating at best, and to see white allies pat themselves on the back for literally just sharing a post is just disrespectful to the people actually out there, who you have put in danger with your lack of attendance. Again, there is safety in numbers and when you and all the other moderates sit at home you put protesters at risk of violence If all you do is pay lip service to a cause you aren't an ally If you constantly come up with excuses to miss counter demonstrations you're probably not an ally, and if you are, you're a really shitty one. If you run the minute things get bad and leave the people you claim to stand in solidarity with in actual physical danger you're not an ally, you're a white person who went to a demo for a photo op. Don't preach to me about how you're such a great ally if you can't even stand in solidarity with a group. And don't post shit like "make racists afraid again" because you're a hypocrite and your inaction gives them confidence. So don't fucking call yourself an ally unless you're willing to fucking prove it. Tl;Dr: white allies are shit. Paying lip service to a cause isn't supporting that cause. Being absent from physical protest puts both marginalized groups and those who protest at risk while you have the privilege of sitting home. ** I know not everyone can attend every rally, and some people can't attend due to disability or economic situations. But so many people who can, don't. And that's not okay.

#antifa #antifascist action #toronto #allyship #islamophobia #white supremacy #racism #soldiers of odin #white ally #white allies #white allyship #antifainternational