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#odin: hela is the oldest child actually
divine-knight-hand · 8 months
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Safely Endangered
Chapter 1: Times are Changing
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Series Masterlist || Loki Masterlist || Full Masterlist || Read on AO3
Notes: It's here! It's finally here! I hope you enjoy what I managed to come up with.
We haven't exactly reached the vibe I want to get to just yet, but have faith in the process! This is just the introduction, after all~ (And prepare for lots of introduction...)
Also, there is a bit of Norwegian in this chapter. Since I'm not a native speaker, please feel free to correct any mistakes I may have made. (I would greatly appreciate it if you did!)
Content Warnings: A touch of angst in the beginning there, a pinch of religious imagery (just one sentence, but still wanted to warn ya!), established relationship, Sub!Loki (but he's a switch in the series itself), Dom!Reader, bath sex, unprotected sex, and a lil face grab
Word Count: 4,383
Dividers by @cafekitsune
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The death of the Allfather shattered the morale of all of Asgard, but no mourning was greater than that of the Sons of Odin. No, that title wasn’t limited to the children he had with his wife and the one he adopted from the eternal blizzard storms of Jotunheim. It also encompassed the ones who showed him unwavering loyalty throughout his lifetime. They formed one of the most dangerous mafia syndicates on Earth.
I even dared to say we were one of the most dangerous in the universe.
Odin’s death had been expected. He lived a long life of over 5,000 years, which was typical of an Asgardian demigod. Now it was time to lay him to rest, and the entire syndicate made the trip to Asgard in their finest funeral clothes for the ceremony that would send him off to Valhalla in a traditional boat funeral. Odin was so well-known in Asgard, seeing his funeral would’ve made an outsider think that he was its king. The people just loved him that much. He may not have been righteous in the typical sense, but most people didn’t know that. The Sons of Odin were the only ones who did, and he was already the best thing that ever happened to most of its members… Most of them.
Loki gave my hand a squeeze, which I quickly returned as I rested my head on his shoulder. He claimed he was never that close to his father, but just because someone treats you poorly doesn’t mean you stop loving them. I could see it in the way his eyes glistened with unshed tears as he received the news of Odin’s death over the phone. He still had love to spare for the man who treated him horribly as a child. He couldn’t help that. You don’t choose who you love. I was confident that he wouldn’t have chosen to love the father who constantly looked down on him–that was, when he looked at him at all–if he could.
His brother, Thor, always got the better end of the stick. He was the golden boy. The first to get an affirmative pat on the shoulder from his father when he did something he approved of. The perfect child. I assumed that was why he seemed to be taking Odin’s death the hardest. His mortal lover, Jane, rested a gentle hand on his shoulder as he hid his misty eyes behind his own. 
Then, there was Odin’s oldest child, Hela. Those who thought Loki was the most intimidating of the Odinchildren had clearly never met her. I constituted that to the sheer power of female rage. Odin never liked her cutthroat tactics. To Hela, every wrongdoing was atoned for with blood, no matter how miniscule. Outwardly, he resented her, but inwardly, I had a strong feeling he feared her. Now, there she stood, her eyes unmoving from the distant boat, and her emotionless expression unchanging. I felt a shiver travel down my spine, but decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe not showing any emotion was her way of coping with her father’s death. Maybe…
Though I knew most of the mourning would obviously be done by Odin’s actual children, I couldn’t help but also feel bad for the rest of the syndicate. They always fought tooth and nail for Odin’s approval because he proved himself to be a boss worthy of that. They felt as if they owed him for saving them from their own lives. Odin ran the Sons of Odin efficiently and discreetly. He managed to earn the respect of everyone associated with him. The best of the syndicate dared to consider him like a father to them. He was their sage. Their strength. I had to admit that he was definitely a better mob boss than a father. How would our way of life change now that he was gone?
As the ceremonial boat continued on toward the ocean’s horizon, I wondered if anything was going to be the same again. I should have known better than to entertain that stupid idea.
────༺ ♰ ༻────
Two weeks after Odin’s funeral, a small group of us gathered in the Bifrost as Heimdall read from his last will and testament. Hela, Thor, Jane, Loki, and I stood in a half-circle as we listened intently to Heimdall list off who was left each of Odin’s possessions. As the list went on, we all grew restless. There was one thing we were all waiting for, and we were all eager to know who Odin left it to, even though we had a strong feeling we already knew who it was going to be.
“The last item in the will, of course, is the Sons of Odin.” Heimdall cleared his throat before continuing to read from the papers in his hands. “‘I, Odin Bohrson, leave the Sons of Odin in the jurisdiction of…’” We all held our breaths and leaned in as he took a momentary pause. “Hela Odindottir.”
A collective gasp resounded throughout the room. Hela? How could Odin have left the syndicate to her ? We were all so sure it was going to go to Thor. Hell, Odin practically despised Hela! Something’s wrong here…
“‘Furthermore’,” Heimdall continued reading. “‘Thor will act as the new underboss, retaining his position as boss of the Thunder District, and Loki will move up to the boss of the Death District, while Hela reserves the right to select and appoint her own consigliere.’”
“There has to be some sort of mistake!” Thor insisted. He was clearly taken aback, just like the rest of us.
“I can assure you, I’ve only read what was written.” Heimdall held the will out to him. “Feel free to read it for yourself, if you still don’t believe me.”
Thor snatched the paper and skimmed it, a look of absolute dread crossing his face as Jane peered over his shoulder, reaching out to grab his arm in a silent act of consolation. “Dear gods…”
Hela smirked and tossed her hair. “So it goes.” She clapped Thor on the shoulder that Jane wasn’t occupying. “It seems being a daddy’s boy all your life amounted to nothing, after all, brother.”
My stomach churned. Anyone with half a brain knew that there was always reason to be afraid when the goddess of death was satisfied. It was as jarring as a devout Christian seeing the smiling face of Satan himself.
It was only after the interaction between Thor and Hela that I noticed Loki was silently staring at his shoes the whole time. He didn’t express shock like the rest of us, nor did he even bother to speak up. A wave of sadness and concern crashed into me. Silence was extremely uncharacteristic of him. What’s going through your head? Why are you so quiet?
I awaited his mental reply, only to be met with silence. Damnit, Loki! Please don’t stonewall on me now…
“I suppose I’m not too late to give my condolences?” I practically whipped my head around to see Brunnhilde enter the Bifrost.
Everyone took a knee, lowering our gazes to the floor at the sight of her, except for Hela, who seemed as if she couldn’t care less about the entrance of Asgardian royalty. Brunnhilde’s presence always commanded power. Despite her short stature, she seemed to tower over everyone who spoke with her. I figured that was simply because anyone who spoke to her did so while bowing to her. She served time as a warrior in the army of Valkyries that served Asgard in times of war and struggle, so her place as king was well deserved, in my opinion and that of the majority of Asgard.
“Your majesty,” Heimdall greeted her. “I’ve just finished reading Odin’s last will and testament. The Odinchildren and their guests will be away soon.”
“Please. They’re hardly children anymore.” Her footsteps nearly sounded thunderous in the heavy silence that followed as she approached Thor. “I assume your father’s legacy lives on in you.”
“You assume incorrectly.” Thor spat, his brow furrowing as his eyes trained on the ground in front of her feet.
“His legacy lives in me.” Hela darkly chimed in, still standing. What a bitch! A scary bitch, but still a bitch…
I couldn’t see Brunnhilde’s face, but I could almost feel the mix of fear and disgust that radiated from its expression. I listened to her footsteps as they clicked against the floor once again, but they grew louder this time, only stopping when a pair of white boots entered my vision. My stomach did a somersault as I processed the fact that the king of Asgard stood merely inches from me.
“Look at me.” She softly commanded. 
The gold shine of the Bifrost seemed to dance in the edges of her dark brown hair, giving her figure a golden aura. Her face conveyed no emotion, and she looked down at me as if I was the interesting subject of a passionate scientist. Everything about her was elegance and strength, and it never failed to make me feel just a little bit small. My throat quickly went dry.
“Lady Y/N,” She broke me from my thoughts. “You are Midgardian, correct?”
The weight on my chest made it hard to breathe, let alone speak, but I somehow managed the words. “Yes, your majesty.”
Suddenly, she cupped the side of my face in her hand. “Måtte gudene hjelpe folket i ditt rike.” A soft look crept into her eyes as her voice lowered to match its tenderness. “You and Jane must stay strong for the sake of your realm. Promise me that.” She turned to look at Jane. “Both of you.”
“I promise, your majesty!” Jane was quick to eagerly speak up.
I was just left in a silent stupor as Brunnhilde looked back down at me. “Well?”
My mouth seemed to move on its own, and a little bit of Norwegian I picked up from my time with Loki sprang to the tip of my tongue. “Jeg lover, min konge.”
Brunnhilde smiled warmly, and I was filled with the joy of a daughter who just made her mother proud. “I have faith in you.”
I couldn’t stop the wide grin from spreading across my face as the king turned and walked out of the Bifrost. Even as I saw Hela fold her arms out of the corner of my eye, the shiver down my spine barely registered as the hazy midday sunlight swallowed Brunnhilde’s silhouette.
────༺ ♰ ༻────
“I simply don’t understand it.” Loki sat at the kitchen table with his head in his hands, fuming. We’d returned to our penthouse in Midgard that night, and he was silent for the whole trip. I offered him my hand to hold as we soared through the magic tunnel Heimdall casted for us. He’d held it tightly without a word. This was the first time I heard his voice since the will reading on Asgard.
“Loki, dear,” My heels clicked against the tile as I strolled over to massage his shoulders. “You’ve been quiet for a while now. It was starting to worry me. Tell me what’s bothering you. Please?”
“It’s…” He let out a deep sigh. “It hasn’t exactly been a secret that my father never considered leaving the Sons of Odin to me. No matter what I did, it was just never enough for him. I was never enough for him. Today was no different. He’s taunting me from the gates of Valhalla, and there’s nothing worth saying or doing about it.”
“Then, to Hel with him!” I frowned. “You’re more than capable of leading the Sons of Odin. Part of him must’ve thought so if he left the Death District to you, right? That’s still a big deal! Maybe you just need to slowly work your way up.”
“That would merely be wishful thinking.” Loki’s shoulders sank under my touch.
I wrapped my arms around him, hugging him from behind, and kissed his cheek once he lifted his head. “You will rule our underground kingdom someday. I can almost taste it. Please, just hold out a little longer, my love. If I can see it, it’s only a matter of time before everyone else will.”
A devilish grin instantly broke across his face. “You never fail to flatter me, darling.”
“Oh, please,” I teased, “I can do more than that~”
Loki let out a soft sigh as I trailed my kisses down to his collar. “Oh, love…” His breathing grew labored as my hands trailed down the front of his suit jacket, slowly unbuttoning it. “My biggest temptress and my sweetest indulgence.” He shivered. “I could never resist you.”
“Then don’t.” I purred as I slid his jacket off his shoulders. “You have some stress keeping you all wound up. Let me help you ease it.” Holding his jacket in my hands, I began heading towards our shared bedroom to hang it up. “And allow me to run a bath for you, so I can rest your weary muscles.”
The last thing I heard before getting to the bedroom was Loki breathily moan, “Do hurry. I fear I don’t have much patience tonight…”
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The bath was ready. I was practically sweating by the time I’d finished the preparations. I’d dimmed the lights, lit some candles, and even thrown some rose petals in the water. Against Loki’s wishes, I’d taken my time. He needed this, and I wanted it to be perfect, which meant I couldn’t afford to rush. I dipped my hand in the water one last time, checking that the temperature was just right before opening the bathroom door.
“Loki, love,” I called out, “I’m ready for you- Ah!”
He practically pounced on me from just outside the door, wrapping me in his arms and pulling me into a deep kiss as he kicked the door shut behind him. He moaned as I let his tongue into my mouth, his hands sliding down my back until they caressed my ass, giving it a possessive squeeze. I tangled my hands in his hair, pulling him closer to me.
“That was too long.” He growled as we broke for air.
“I’m sorry, my love.” I cupped his face in my hands. “I wanted to make sure everything was perfect.”
“Darling, you spoil me.” He leaned forward until our foreheads were touching, our breaths intermingling between our mouths as he softly continued. “I meant to mention how impressed I was by your knowledge of Norwegian tongue earlier.”
“I learned from the best.” I softly giggled. “And that’s not all I’ve learned, either.”
“Oh, really?” Loki hummed. “Do enlighten me on how far your current knowledge extends.”
“Okay, hold on…” I thought for a moment before responding. “Jeg elsker deg.”
A proud grin spread across Loki’s face as he responded. “Jeg elsker deg også, kjære.”
I gave him a quick peck on the lips before beginning to undo his tie. “Let’s not let your bath get cold, now.”
I couldn’t tell whether Loki’s eyes were blown wide from lust or the low lighting as I began to undo his belt. “You do realize I could easily remove my clothing with my seidr, right?”
I playfully smirked up at him. “But that wouldn’t be as fun, would it?”
“Little minx.” He teased as I dropped his pants, revealing his half-hard cock. “I do hope that means you’ll be joining me tonight.” The idea of bathing with him had my inner walls clenching on air.
“How could I not?” Fighting the temptation to begin stroking him right there, I helped him out of his shirt and gathered his clothes in my arms. “I’ll make sure these are put away neatly. You get in and I can help you wash up when I’m done.”
“Must you make me wait again?” His eyes shone with a familiar softness that nearly made me weak in the knees.
“Patience is a virtue, my love.” I dusted off part of the fabric to keep myself from melting in his gaze. “I promise I’ll be quick this time.”
“Hurry back.” His request bordered on a plea as I slipped out of the bathroom.
I entered the bedroom and neatly put each article of clothing away so they wouldn’t wrinkle. I then stripped and did the same with my own clothes before slipping into a comfortable bathrobe and heading back to the bathroom.
I paused at the doorway to see Loki laying back in the soapy rosewater, his eyes shut as if he was asleep. He was an image of pure relaxation, yet the scene in front of me was reminiscent of my wildest dreams. The candlelight gave his porcelain skin a soft warm glow, making the shadows under his already sharp cheekbones more prominent. The ropes of his muscles pulled taught near his neck and shoulders. The dark tendrils of hair on his head were wetly slicked away from his face, spilling over the side of the tub in inky curls. He was beautiful, and the arousal pooling between my thighs clued me in to the fact that my body agreed.
“I know you’re there.” His voice rang out in a soft sing-songy tone. “I do hope you don’t intend to watch me all night.”
“Of course not.” I fully entered the room, only dropping my robe once Loki opened his eyes.
A small noise escaped the back of his throat. “Oh, darling. You look absolutely stunning.” His breathing grew heavier, but he still made no move to grab me or command me to get in. He was waiting for me to decide when I wanted to.
I slowly lowered myself into the water, and he allowed me to straddle his legs. “Does this mean you’re willing to give yourself to me tonight?”
 “I wish to give myself to you, body and soul.” He caressed the side of my face. “Whatever you desire, you’ll have it.”
Loki was secure enough in our relationship to allow himself to submit to me at times. My heart swelled as I realized that this was one of those times. He wanted me in control, and was relying on me to grant him pleasure. That was why he tolerated my commands today. He didn’t want to think too much, or be in any form of control. He just wanted to feel.
“You’re too sweet, my love.” I leaned forward and pecked Loki on the lips again. Before I could pull away, he wrapped his arms around my hips and bucked up into mine, causing a sharp wave in the water. I let out a surprised yelp as he attempted to deepen our kiss.
My hand came up quickly, seizing his chin. My fingers curled up along his sharp jaw as I found my grip.
Pulling away from the kiss and catching my breath, I started in a cautionary tone. “Oh, pet. I didn’t give permission for that, now did I? It seems like we’re getting a little too eager...”
“I’m sorry, mistress.” He shuddered under my touch, his hands quickly leaving my hips. “I didn’t mean to be presumptuous.”
I released his face, instead moving my hand to tangle in his hair. “You’re lucky I’m in a good mood.” I began trailing kisses along his jaw. “And you’ve been so good up until now. I think I’m willing to overlook this little incident.”
Loki softly moaned as I continued my trail of kisses down his neck, his cock brushing my lower stomach as it twitched up. “Th- Thank you, mistress.”
“You’re very welcome, pet.” I purred. “Just lay back and let me ease your tension, okay? That’s all I need you to do tonight. Nothing difficult.”
“May I touch you?” When I didn’t immediately respond, he added. “Please, mistress? I wish to be able to feel you while you please me. I crave it.”
“How sweet.” I trailed my hands down his chest. “Even when I treat you, you still want to make sure I feel good. Is that right?” Loki nodded, and I raised an eyebrow. “Use your words.”
“Yes, mistress.” He breathed. “I crave your pleasure as well as mine.”
“You’re a dream come alive, my love.” I softly chuckled as I leaned in to peck the tip of his nose. “I will allow you to touch me, but only when directed. Fair?”
“Yes, mistress.” Loki sighed right before I pulled him into another kiss.
My hands continued to trail lower until they played at the base of his cock. His moans curled into needy whines as I dragged a finger along its length, teasing at the tip while it grew fully erect. My free hand slid back up his chest, tracing each dip, curve, and muscle in his marble-like skin. I looked back up to see sweat breaking across his brow. His gaze was unwavering from my hand, almost as if he was silently begging me to grant him release.
“My darling pet~” I cooed. “What did I ever do to deserve you?”
“Mistress…” Loki whimpered in response. “Please…”
I felt another clench between my thighs at the neediness in his tone. It was a neediness that only I ever got to see.
Loki often made sure to keep his guard up in the presence of anyone and everyone. Strangers, acquaintances, family… but not with me. Never with me. He felt safe enough to lower his shield after the battles of each day and allow himself to be vulnerable with me. This didn’t always come in the form of being submissive. It sometimes didn’t even involve sex at all. It was beautiful. It was intimate. It was authentic, and I craved to wrap the wounds of my beloved warrior each day, no matter what they were, because he felt in his heart of hearts that I could bring him comfort. I welcomed that level of trust with open arms.
“You’ve been so patient for me today.” I slowly wrapped my hand around the base of his cock. “I think I’ve kept you waiting long enough.” I began slowly stroking as I lined myself up over him. “What do we say?”
“Thank you, mistress.” Loki breathed before I slowly lowered myself down onto his cock, one hand guiding him inside as the other grabbed his shoulder for support. His eyes closed and his head dropped back against the edge of the tub. He let out a low drawn-out moan until I bottomed out.
“There we are…” I sighed. “How does that feel, my love?”
“S- so good…” Loki seemed to be slowly slipping into his own ecstasy. “May I have more, mistress? Please?”
“So polite, and you know I love it when you beg~” I cupped his face in my hands. “Since you asked so nicely, I believe you do deserve a little more. Just lay back and relax. I’ll take good care of you. I promise.”
I sat upright and began moving my hips, setting a slow and even pace as I began to ride him.
“Mmh- Mistress…” Loki moaned. “F- faen … So good… Oh, how I- Ah- I’ve needed this…” Every sound coming from him was like music to my ears. His moans alone could bring me to my peak in a matter of minutes.
“That’s it, pet.” I reached for his hand to interlock our fingers. “Just relax and let yourself feel.” Keeping my pace steady, and directing him into all the best spots, I softly praised him between moans. “Oh, yes… You feel so good inside me… That’s it… My beautiful pet…”
“M- Mmh… Mistress…” Loki’s eyes refocused on mine.
“Yes, my love?” I breathed.
“May I- Ah- touch you, now?” He pleaded.
“Yes, you may.” At my direction, he used his free hand–the other still being held in mine–to grab my breast.
As I shivered under the touch of him tweaking my nipple, he sat up, shifting my position the littlest bit, and buried his face in my neck, leaving kisses as he panted and moaned against my skin.
I reached my hand up to weave into his hair as he pulled the most lewd of sounds from my lips. “Wh- What do we say, pet?”
“Thank you, mistress…” Loki softly moaned against my neck, causing me to clench around him, which earned another cry from the god.
The subsequent twitching of his cock and desperate whines escaping his throat clued me in to the fact that he was nearing his peak before he could even form the words. “I’m getting close…”
“I know, my love.” My own panting was ragged as I chased my own climax. “Hold on just a little longer. We’ll cum together, okay?”
“Yes, mistress…” Loki’s grip on my breast tightened as he struggled to hold back his release.
“Ready?” I gave the hand I was holding an affectionate squeeze. “3… 2… 1!”
I clenched around his cock as it began to spill its seed inside of me. I squeezed my eyes shut and saw a flash of white as our cries reverberated off of the bathroom walls. I kept my hips moving the whole time, determined to help us both ride out our highs.
Once we both came down from our peaks, it registered to me how full I really felt. It was filthy in all the best ways. I almost didn’t want Loki to pull out. I wanted this feeling for as long as I could possibly have it. 
“Darling,” I was still blissed-out when Loki moved his head from my shoulder. “You never fail to sate my cravings. Thank you.”
I quickly pecked him on the lips before responding. “There’s almost nothing I wouldn’t do for you, my love.”
“My loyal lover,” He lowly chuckled. “I suppose we should actually get cleaned up now.”
“Yeah, let’s do that.” I smiled warmly. “Come here. Let me help you wash up.”
After cleansing Loki with the finest soaps and lathers in our collection, which were imported directly from Asgard, he returned the favor, and we both went straight to bed after drying off. Resting my head on his chest, the last thing I remembered was Loki’s breath evening out before I began to fall asleep. He usually slept so peacefully when I was in his arms.
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Måtte gudene hjelpe folket i ditt rike - May the gods help the people of your kingdom
Jeg lover, min konge - I promise, my king
Jeg elsker deg - I love you
Jeg elsker deg også, kjære - I love you, too, darling*
Faen - Fuck
*(“kjære” is a general Norwegian term of endearment, so it could also mean “dear” or “sweetheart”)
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chthonicgodling · 1 month
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how many kids does your Loki actually have?
(hi everyone I am right now accepting eLoki’n’kids questions, pre-Elysium, past-Elysium, current-Elysium— pls. please please. pls pls pls pl—)
[prev question over here too!]
WELL i’ve actually been tentatively retconning one Elysium-child out of existence (no one cared about him anyway shshsh) and been back and forth with myself on doing that to another one so the current *but subject to change* count is 14!! ALL accidental it’s worth mentioning dggkfg
(plus - who knows if any more children might be in his future! Who knows!!! anything could happen!! anything at all….)
I’ll go through them all in order of oldest to newest!* (weird wording due to* Libby*) Please enjoy this blend of Norse mythy realness & Elysium brand chaos, under the cut cause it’s soooo extremely long of course; I mentioned it at the bottom but special warnings for some Dark Mentions in here of things like child death,/ murder/ miscarriage / & of course less dark but general pregnancy talks—
1- Sleipnir! Loki’s first born, the eldest son, also notably one of just two amongst all of them who has not been able to move into Elysium :(( Sleipnir- true to myth - is an eight legged horse, carried by Loki (in the shape of a horse) after being sired by Entire Horse Svaldifari. it’s… a long ridiculous story that ended up in an oopsie baby spider foal (you can just look up this Norse myth lmao) and that was all well and good until Loki finally returned to Asgard with toddler horse and Odin took him away. This first event - the first of what would be many tragic circumstances to follow surrounding his first six kids - was the start and beginning of Loki’s deep-seated trauma and paranoid caginess surrounding all of his pregnancies/children. to this day Sleipnir remains in service of the Aesir as Odin’s personal stallion, where Elysium can’t just take him since Odin would obviously notice and Loki is technically a wanted escaped fugitive in his home world so 🙃 horrifically sad and traumatizing forever. uhhh anyway!
2- Hela! Loki’s eldest daughter. I literally just drew her yesterday over here!! She’s the other one of all the kids who has not moved to Elysium. Loki is Hela’s mother, & she was sired by the Frost Giantess Angrboda, with whom Loki had begun to rendezvous with solely as an act of general rebellion against well, everyone. Loki uhhhhhh had not expected to somehow get magically pregnant from these encounters, biologically nonsensical as it was, but he’d delightedly rolled with it after the first time (and would return to her twice more hoping for more accidents - and receiving them - before she finally shooed him away). Like I said in her drawing, Hela was half dead once she was born, and half of her decomposes, regenerates, decomposes. As a teenager she and her younger siblings (the next two bullet points) were ripped from Loki by Odin and each respectively banished away in isolation out of fear of their growing powers. Hela is the queen of the Norse Dead and resides in their Underworld of Niflheim, where she has made a home and an obligation for herself that she will not abandon, even for the chance to reunite with her mom :(
3- Fenris! (also known as The Fenris Wolf….. also known as Fen), the former GIANT WOLF born to Loki & Angrboda again, nowadays shapeshifted into your run of the mill big hulking werewolfy Viking. Once again birthed by Loki as a puppy:) before growing extremely big with no sign of stopping. yes wolf-shape-Fen is larger than even Cerberus. Growing up as a gigantic bloodthirsty ravenous wolf but truly just misunderstood and unfairly judged Fen too was separated and banished during Odin’s scourge, imprisoned in isolation on the island of Lyngvi for many many years… until the coming of Ragnarok in ~2014ish (as Eisa and Einmyria were being born) - which Loki during canon Elysium events circumvented by freeing Fen, transforming him into a human shape, finally bringing him home to the Elysium palace. Fen is like ~palace adjacent~ he and his brother Jör are near inseparable and prefer to spend their time roaming the Underworld rather than confining to one place after so many years of being locked up.
4- Jörmundgandr! (also known as The World Serpent, The Midgard Serpent….. and also known as Jör) - the former GIGANTIC SEA SERPENT born ALSO to Loki and Angrboda, the last of their children before they “broke up” (had they even been dating??) Like By the time Jör was born - again to Loki yes as a big snake even then but. Quite a bit Smaller thank god. - Angrboda was finally like Jesus christ ENOUGH stop using me to sire children leave me alone??? and that was the End of that relationship or lack thereof. Jör was the last of the three kids that Odin banished away at once, he was thrown into The oceans of Midgard (EARTH) to wrap around the world nine times, ending with swallowing his own tail in one big ouroboros……. Like his older brother, Jör was freed and transformed humanoid to prevent Ragnarok in 2014 and lives Elysium-adjacent with Fen. Fun fact Jör was friends with mermaid Glaukos even as a big snake - from living in the oceans! Glaukos was able to reunite them when Loki first fell to Elysium yaaay. Also. it’s worth mentioning that even humanoid Jör is constantly biting his nails some things don’t change…. The ouroboros continues……
5 & 6- Vali and Nari! Who I just drew as teeny newborns over here and whomst I have drawn many MANY times. Normal human shapes except in the modern day Elysium canon….. they’re ghosties, eternally ten years old :(((( Loki carried the twins too though they’ve always called him father; their mother was the goddess Sigyn, nowadays Loki’s Big Ex (one of em.) after being Loki’s longest committed relationship, wife adjacent. the twins were conceived by accident of course very shortly after their previous three siblings were taken away, but Loki & Sigyn had been in a relationship for QUITE some time before that, as she’d acted as step parent to the trio since their early childhood. When Loki killed Balder as revenge for the loss of the trio, Odin magically bewitched ten year old Vali and Nari to kill each other and left their horrific remains for Loki to find (enough left for Loki to enchant the pieces himself and sEE WHAT HAD HAPPENED AND BY WHO).
This was one of the most horrifying and traumatizing things to have ever happened to Loki, now SIX losses of his beloved children— a catalyst for his period of supervillainry in which we allll know what happened. Sigyn also left him - an incredibly ugly breakup that didn’t help anything, as she’d blamed him fully for their deaths. When Loki ended up in Elysium, Tory transferred their ghosts from one Underworld to another and reunited them at long last :’)) finally the beginning of a happy ending!! As cheerful ghosts, solidified and recolored by their new bestest friend Meli (the goddess of ghosts) the twins DO live a happy and fulfilling life, and their return to his arms was the biggest step to Loki in Elysium finally starting to pull himself together. yay!!! and now the Elysium continuation kids!
7- Fjöer! son of Loki and Laphi, Loki’s first baby in the Elysium palace! Fjoer is half owl like his dad Laphi and is the shape of a big blue feathered. uh. thing. Fjöer like alllll the rest of them was an oopsie baby, after screwing arounddd and finding himself pregnant in the palace wth NO idea who the other parent could be. Loki panicked and ran away, preferring ALWAYS to be pregnant alone anyway (leaving secret instructions to find him just with Vali and Nari, though Epi was able to contact him through dreams.). Within a month Loki had given birth to… an entire bird’s EGG, narrowing the other parent down to ONE specific half-owl-god lmAO. He returned to the palace at that point, and Fjöer hatched two months later. Fjöer was actually the first cross couple baby of all the palace let alone with Loki (lmao look at us now!) but Laphi and Jesse took this in stride especially once Laphi’s owl-parent instincts took over. Fun fact!! Fjöer speaks only in chirpy bird talk, but all of his siblings and parents can understand him seamlessly! NO ONE ELSE, THOUGH
8- Rane! Daughter of Loki and…….. hmmm redacted due to in-progress retconning.(also she has never had a twin shhhhhhhhhhhgg). Let’s call her Flower Nymph for now. Rane’s humanoid but the first of Loki’s kids to LOOK and act Jotunn, as she came preloaded with a super low body temp and ice powers (which she hardly uses in favor of playing with mortal card tricks as a better form of magic), and was powerful enough in utero to knock all of Loki’s magic haywire. Soooooo back when Loki had left with Fjöer in utero, he’d somehow befriended a stray Flower Nymph residing newly in the palace, detached from everyone else; Vali and Nari had brought her to him to make friends lmao. what followed for the next few years was a friendship turned sort of romance, as she was COMPLETELY in love with him - he was not - he humored her for a while - it was a bad pairing all around - finally they broke up. They…. hooked up a few more times against their better judgement. Aaaand of course then Loki found out he was pregnant.
Loki’s relationship story with Flower Nymph is in the process of major retconning but they remain NOT together as a couple, just finally friends after many years of turmoil, and Rane shares split custody between the two of them (most of her time with Loki in the oalace). MOST fun fact about Rane of all time is!! she was actually born IN the avengers tower😈😇 which is a whole other story that I will not include here bc this length is so stupid already but. lmao! This is also Loki’s least favorite fact
9 & 10- Eisa and Einmyria! …Haha oh boy. they are Loki’s daughters with TORY, and the first EVER babies who Loki didn’t carry himself - while Loki was about eight months pregnant with Rane, on accident he had knocked up Tory, who had given birth to baby Raz himself not long before. Eisa is made out of molten lava - Einmyria is made out of smoldering ash. Before I talk about All this here is a DISCLAIMER that everything is fine with them and everyone NOW in terms of coparenting and a happy family!! but the series of events surrounding their surprise conception and birth was nothing but CHAOS. Maci had allowed Loki to sleep with Tory one time - NOT GET HIM PREGNANT, and she was BEYOND furious. Generally Maci AND ALSO TORY are NOT calm people they are both Very quick to anger!! Loki, bugging out of his mind from not carrying the babies himself, also feeling cornered from Maci meltdown rage and Tory’s anger and panic, responded to all of this by- perpetuating an all out war right back at them.
from all angles there was SO much screaming and yelling and fighting and custody battling— For like a solid four months of Tory’s pregnancy there was just utter turmoil, including events such as Tory fully leaving the palace (falling ill as the babies powers surged too strong for him to handle and returning); separately Maci leaving the palace in a fit and returning when Tory got sick; then separately again Loki himself getting kicked OUT of the palace after another explosive blowup— Tory and Loki PUNCHED EACH OTHER AT ONE POINT — oh my god it was a dramatic NIGHTMARE. You have to remember back then Loki and Maci HAAAATED EACH OTHER!! But finally tempers cooled and everyone calmed down, agreed to coparent and make nice for the babies’ sake, Tory allowed Loki to name the twins himself, everything was fine.
Everything is fine today! lol Maci was so bitchy about the kids and took one look at them and fell in love so bonus babies no issues. All that fuss and for nothing. …. By the way during Tory’s pregnancy with them had been when Thanatos had escaped and been exploded by Loki, and THEN— due to the stress of all these events of the past year— Ragnarok was triggered to begin. right around when Tory’s water broke (prematurely). Oops. Just uhh Loki things. This is when Fen and Jör came to the palace though!
11- Vrykolakas! Aka Vryk. Most of you probably know Vryk cause this was around the time I had started updating everyone on Elysium goings ons! Vryk is Loki and Epi’s son - sired by Loki and carried by Epi, and his claim to quirky fame is his action of traumatically dying in utero, and then clawing his way back out of his own grave to carry on forever undead. Vryk’s conception also came with a great deal of drama even before Epi had miscarried him. Epi and Loki (&Eury) slept together with the intention of possibly getting Loki pregnant, whatever happens happens, new free baby since Epi and Eury’s previous pregnancies had not been easy for either of them, but it was a panicky shock when Epi ended up pregnant instead. (None of Loki’s genetics or biology make any sense lol.) Though Maci and Loki had been playing nice with Eisa and Einmyria by then, Maci immediately started a fight with Loki with the misguided intention of protecting Epi who was terrified to be pregnant - to which of course Loki retaliAted back at her and ALLL THE DRAMA OF PREVIOUS STARTED UP ALL OVER AGAIN. Epi ended up barring both of them from being near him and hid in Chal’s house - this was when all that was going on too! - until unexpectedly miscarrying.
This was devastating of course I mean do I even need to say that. Aaughhhhh god and- Loki had lost so many children before, but never in this way, and he reeled as well. With even worse emotions at play now and those previous tensions only Barely having been smoothed, Loki and Epi got into a vicious fight - but reconcilied soon after over Vryk’s coffin. Aaaand then Vryk came back to life later that week and was fine ever after :)
Fun fact Vryk was the FINAL actual key for Maci and Loki to actually finally start to tolerate each other with any degree of warmth - for the reason OF warmth, actually. Vryk, being DEAD, does not give off body heat, and cried for days and days straight with no one able to tell what was wrong…. Until Maci, fire goddess, picked him up and immediately got him to stop. Vryk has always called Maci Mama :) shockingly Loki did not kill her over this— if only because Vryk would cry any time Maci put him down OR Loki left the room. They had no choice but to be together AHH lmao once again everything is fine now but! harrowing series of events!!
12- Kaia! may or may not exist still but I’m leaning forwards yes for now… lol Many years after Loki and That Flower Nymph aka Rane’s mom had broken up and accidentally had a baby and had a whole custody battle and then tentatively agreed to be platonic friends and never date again, they. then had sex anyway years later during one more lapse of judgement. Aaaaand this time that Flower Nymph herself ended up pregnant goDDAMMIT. She was pregnant with Kaia at the same time everything with Vryk was going on for time perspective and they were born around the same time! I have very little to say about Kaia actually - she’s got the same sort of partial custody thing worked out as Rane does, as That Flower Nymph does not live in the palace anymore and uhh. beyond that she’s just very baby! Normal pregnancy normal events just very awkward to have TWO babies post divorce - okay moving on!
13- Sæunn! Sæ is the current youngest of all of Loki’s children right now! Also appearing Jotunn-like, Sae’s most exciting feature is the ability to turn into a giant squid for NO reason, an ability only recently discovered. She is the daughter of Loki and Jesse (yknow. Laphi’s husband. whoopsies.) Jesse and Loki hooked up, on birth control bc Loki had too many fucking kids. Because Loki is Loki, that birth control did not work on Jesse And!!! Jesse found himself pregnant!’ The big thing about the birth of Sæunn is that - Before Jesse had ended up pregnant Loki had thought he’d been handling processing the events of Vryk’s almost loss quite well but suddenly having another baby IN someone else right after he’d watched Epi lose Vryk made Loki twitch out of his mind a little bit. He drove Jesse absolutely crazy treating him like he was made of glass for all nine months even with Jesse’s assurances that everything was totally fine. In fact the ONLY unusual thing about Sæ before she was born was that Jesse was inexplicably drawn to water and the pools the entire time. Otherwise the whole pregnancy was healthy and uneventful! Six years later (she’s six now!) the reason for that became extremely clear…. Squiddy :)
however. honestly. a quick aside. lmao the REAL lasting result of Sæunn’s birth was that Loki ended up taking like a three year celibacy hiatus due to EVERY FORM OF BIRTH CONTROL failing either him or any of his partners and oh my god this is so many babies back to back to back. celibacy in the… loosest sense of the word as Loki can just make clones of himself so 🙄 lol. up until - what with Maci being naturally infertile - well. was it possible she was the ONLY person Loki could actually sleep with without knocking up!!? yes😈 hence Loki’s long-standing grudge against her finally snapping, leading into that very first time in 2021…… and then, the next year! everyone discovering an,,, herbal birth control dealio….. that not only did successfully prevent pregnancies in Loki due to trial and error but also doubled as a….. sex pollen-esque aphrodisiac…… whose consensual yet probably hilariously irresponsible use by ALL parties can probably be single-handedly blamed for the blossoming of THE NOT THROUPLE DYNAMIC that we are dealing with today SO LMAO UHH— thanks Jesse and Saeunn?? ANYWAY-
FINALLY the last Lokikid currently is! of course! drumroll!!
14- Libitina! Aka LIBBY who we all know and love! Yes, Chal’s Libby! Most people say that Loki adopted Libby but Loki’s adamant that he gave birth to her and— he kinda did. Technically chronologically, Libby fits in before Vryk, because she was “born” when Chal was first caught by the palace and everyone discovered that she was sleep deprivedly hallucinating an entire girl as her best friend and conscience. When Chal healed her sleep deprivation and thus lost Libby, Loki was commissioned by Ty and Bel to bring her formally to life straight out of Chal’s head, and the real tangible Libby was created! Even from that moment they’d all joked that Loki was Libby’s mom. However it was some time later - hence this chronological timeframe - that Libby clarified with Loki— hey, ARE you my mom? “Do you want me to be?” “…yes?” “Then yes :)” and since then Loki has unequivocally treated Libby completely like one of his own.
Actually secretly Loki had wanted to formally adopt Chal too, he’d been the one in the first place who’d found Chal floundering around and had pushed most strongly For her rehab. but Chal and Loki’s relationship had never been parental or close due to both of them being little shits - in different ways. For that matter - When Tory and Maci (Maci and Chal are little shits in the SAME way) formally adopted Chal, they’d actually tried to loop Libby in, which is the exact moment they discovered that unbeknownst to anyone that Libby and Loki HAD established a parental bond and Loki refused to “toss her aside” to them (Libby didn’t even know this had come up Loki shut it down SO immediately 😅). So!!’ Libby Lokidottir!!! Even though no one will ever be closer to her than Chal is, Libby HAS been wholeheartedly welcomed and embraced by all of her Lokikid siblings, who are all completely ride or die for each other and Libby is no exception. She loves them and has so much love to give! And they all love her back!!
It is Chal’s sulky belief that Libby appears to have joined a cult and you know what? The Lokikid clan is. not far off.
thank you for joining me on this EXCEPTIONALLY LONG essay journey this was an absolute delight to write up. I’ve drawn all these guys except for Sleipnir so feel free to ask for links and pics if u wanna see any of them!! And so, Loki’s lucky 14!
only time will tell if the count will ever increase! like I said… anything could happen, even though Loki hasn’t been pregnant for SO long (since Rane a decade ago!!) and he IS on working birth control right now so…… but who knows!! WHOOOO KNOWS—
phew thank u again If you actually made it to the very bottom. If you can’t tell. I like to write just a bit…,,
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worstloki · 2 years
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Do y’all Loki apologists hate Thor or something and if so like why? Odin gaslit him too... Odin gaslit and girlbossed all of the nine realms lmao
Odin may have erased Hela and glorified/painted their past as more justified and peaceful than it was on Asgard but we're not shown him doing this to the other realms. for all we know he simply abandoned places like midgard because muspelheim and jotunheim still know Odin and hold grudges.
How to explain that specifically taking and raising Loki, Jotun, in a place that is explicitly xenophobic towards Jotuns would specifically be a specific thing pertaining to Loki which is a huge central thing shown in Thor 1 without calling you an idiot. Because it's not Thor's reaction to the lies that is important in Thor 3 even at the "end" of his "arc" in that film where he "realizes" the "truth" of their "history". But in Thor 1 Loki's is. It's a huge deal because it is literally King Laufey of Jotunheim, Loki's apparent biological father, that is the co-antagonist of the film and it is finding out he was not just adopted and lied to but was taken a political pawn and lost this use after finding out this fact, that drives the plot forward.
Thor is not shown finding out this truth. The other realms are not shown finding out any supposed truth about any supposed made-up history (I really doubt Odin cared to spread propaganda past Vanaheim tbh, but whatever).
Thor is not given false hope or misconceptions in gaining Asgard's throne because it is to be given to him. Thor has the support of loyal friends who will commit treason and die to save him. Thor, though also abused, was on the other end of things, where we're shown he is adored and given attention and is confident in his reckless decisions. Thor at the start of Thor 1 is loud and arrogant and brash and admittedly immature but part of that involves speaking over his brother in a way that wouldn't be short of abusive itself if it was long-standing, while Loki isn't shown arguing back or defending himself but shutting down and literally sinking into shadows until the vault scene where he finds out the truth of where he came from.
And Loki, admittedly, has a better grasp of how Asgard works. He finds out he's Jotun, that confirms he was taken at the end of the war, just like the Casket was. He asks why he was taken and upon being told he was an innocent child immediately knows that is not it. Knee-deep in Jotun blood, 'peaceful relations' are hardly that even now. He finds out he was adopted, he asks what purpose it was for. And he's right in saying there is one. He's constantly right about worst-case scenarios. (Compare that to Thor who is being dragged the opposite direction into calling Odin a wise king and superspendicular father. Because they were both abused, but Loki is the one who now must see himself as the monster that parents tell their children about at night.
"It all makes sense now. Why you favored Thor all these years."
And sure, don't take his word on this, it's his POV of things, of course it's skewed. Except he has yet to be wrong. Except Thor is the one shown with a weapon from the vault. Except Thor is the one who was chosen to be King. Except we see how Loki is treated and we see how he reacts.
Regardless, Loki feels, knows, that he was not treated equally to Thor, and if he was given the same opportunities he does not feel he was favoured the same way.
"Because no matter how much you claim to love me, you could never have a Frost Giant sitting on the Throne of Asgard!"
Whether or not objective (again, it's Loki's POV, it's how he sees things, and Loki is GOOD at seeing things) the line expresses his opinion on the entire matter. I don't call it apologism to say that he was hurt and reacted. Since that's. Literally what happened. It's not an excuse to say he was mistreated and went mentally off the rails in trying to prove himself worthy or whatever else bc he was abused, but it's a compelling reason that makes sense imo that he would attribute this to w h y he was never worthy and then went through so much villainous effort to prove he still could be useful.
Thor does not understand what Loki speaks of when they argue on 'imagined slights' because he somehow missed that Loki was being mistreated. Genuine mistake, perhaps, but it left Loki in a position where he was getting treated as dirt whereas Thor was put on a pedestal. Both not great situations, and you can't compare abuse, but Loki was additionally shown having to deal with fallout of leaving the situation while Thor 2 was the last time Thor seriously got to reconsider his relation with Odin as a being other than perfect. That conflict and Thor leaving adds a neat layer of depth to Thor's character in my opinion, not unlike what Loki gained at the end of Thor 1.
I can't speak for everyone, and certainly not for apologists since I don't consider myself one, but I don't hate Thor. Loki's suffering is just. not his fault. I don't blame either of them for what position the other was in. But Loki's problems are, on top of everything, things he was born with. Things he can't change and shouldn't have to but still sees as bad.
Also, Thor's redemption arc is great on it's own but not, in my opinion, as fleshed out as Loki's downfall in the same movie. it's not something specific to his identity that he's overcoming because those we're shown on Asgard are also arrogant! they're also into fighting and violence and acting superior! that's standardized Asgardian values for you babey! it's behavioural and stuff Thor can and does attempt to move on from! and then Loki comes along and he's trying to live up to these expectations that he wasn't ever going to be able to live up to because of who he was because whether or not Asgardian-ness is considered Valid In A Given Situation is dependent on Odin! The system of Righteous Judgement is flawed! It's why I blame Odin and Frigga for everything rather than either Thor or Loki, even though I see Thor and Loki as also having an abusive dynamic going for them!
To me Thor as 'the hero who gains humility' is in huge part unique because it occurs at the perfect time for Loki to be fallout damage. (And vice versa with Loki's arc!). Because Thor and Loki act as foils (is that the word?) in Thor 1 and take each other's positions by the end of the film, because Thor learns something was wrong about himself before, he knows something is wrong with his brother right now, even if the entire morality-of-killing discussion has no real part in their discussion.
Thor's own arc through Thor 1-3 means he's genuinely trying to be better, he's just. still working on it. And struggling to acknowledge the past is bad for reasons is difficult bc they were indoctrinated and unlearning stuff is hard. But it CAN be interpreted that way and I love to do so, because Thor being smart but not being self aware until he stops and contemplates things properly is >>> and v/ heroic imo.
Odin gaslights and girlbosses everyone but he does so to Loki far more specifically and about Loki's own identity. Thor gets gatekept about how he's not the firstborn child AND how his brother is adopted and Jotun, Loki gets being the third child PLUS that he's a different species specifically one Asgard doesn't like PLUS a son of Laufey who is literally an enemy king PLUS that he was originally taken as a political token PLUS that being raised as a prince of Asgard with a right to the throne was a lie PLUS even though they raised him they see what he really is as a negative thing and probably intended never to tell him because of it. Loki's downfall is basically showcased lmao.
They were both abused but not in the same way, they were both lied to but I don't consider it equivalent, they're different characters in and of themselves, psychology is up to interpretation, etc.
So whether or not someone dislikes Thor is literally people's choice but I don't particularly hate him, no, though I feel you were being rude in the way you've asked.
I do hate the MCU though so jot that down. So much wasted potential smh.
tldr: yeah odin girlbossed the nine realms. loki was in those nine realms. odin also personally girlbossed loki on top of that. sure thor would get caught in that too since he's closest to loki BU T that's not a central part of his narrative in any film now is it. no, it just serves a temporary 'oh no! ...anyways, moving on so we can fix this' role while Loki's lies stick around.
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iamanartichoke · 2 years
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I still don't understand the "you were both born to be kings" thing Odin said. Loki of Jotunheim presumably but then why tell a kid that and have him purposefully misinterpret it? And I've seen some argue that age had nothing to do with it but they keep reinforcing that Thor is the "first born" and I've seen interviews where they say the fact Thor is older means he's in line for the throne? Sorry for the rant but I've been trying to figure this out since like 2011.
In order to have it all make sense to me, in my head, I've always interpreted that line - and, by extension, Asgard's ruling hierarchy - to function in much the same way that real monarchies do (or have, in the past). That is, in a ruling family, the first born (son, usually, but occasionally a daughter if she had no male siblings) was automatically the heir and would take the throne in the event anything happened to the king (or queen). After the first born, the line follows chronologically so the next oldest would be second in line, the third oldest third in line, and so on.
However, if the original heir has children, then the line changes and the heir's children become second, third, etc in line, and the heir's younger siblings fall further back. If all of the blood heirs die without leaving behind children, then the throne would go to the next closest blood relative (I think) and the line would follow that family.
Depending on how patriarchal Asgard is and how far back in human history we go, if the oldest child is a girl, she falls behind the first-born son of the family. If Asgard functioned that way, then Hela would not actually have a claim to the throne above Thor - it would go to Thor, then Loki, and then Hela. (To put it in perspective, when Henry VIII died, Edward became king despite still being a child and both Mary and Elizabeth being older. Once Edward died, only then did the line go to the women - first Mary, as the older sibling, and then to Elizabeth after Mary died.) But that's just if you headcanon that Asgard was particularly patriarchal (which tbh I think it is, but that's just me).
Now, whether or not the writers/tptb intended for Asgard to work this way is unknown, but I interpret it this way bc to me, it makes the most sense and anything else becomes kinda convoluted. It would explain why Thor is first in line to be king and, as such, Odin's first choice over Loki, but it also explains the "you were born to be kings" line, if you interpret it as "you are both born royal and you both have the potential to rule, should it work out that way." To go back to the previous example (I just like the Tudor period a lot, so it's what popped into my head), if Henry VIII told Mary, Elizabeth, and Edward, "you were born to rule," then he wouldn't necessarily be wrong or misleading. Each of them has the potential to rule and would be capable of doing so, should they find themselves on the throne. (And, ultimately, each of them did.) I feel like it's the same concept with Thor and Loki.
Of course, historically, what made kings and queens "legitimate" was the belief that they were chosen and appointed by God to rule, so saying "you were born for this" would imply not only the potential to rule but also the idea that being born royal meant that they had been chosen for their role by a power higher than that of humans. So, again, if there was a similar belief on Asgard - that the norns, for example, appointed Odin's bloodline to be the ruling line, then again, Odin't assertion that Thor and Loki were both born to be kings isn't wrong. They were born with royal blood and, by extension, they had been chosen by a higher power and it was their right to rule. In that sense, it doesn't matter who's older or how the line goes; what matters is that Thor and Loki are both in the line.
So that's how I have always understood it to work - but, again, this is my interpretation and there's not necessarily anything in the canon that supports it unequivocally. That being said, because I interpret it this way, I also never felt that Loki misunderstood what Odin meant when he said both sons were born to be kings. Nor do I feel that Odin was being purposefully misleading. As a royal child, Loki would know and understand how the line works and also how divine right works (assuming they've got a similar belief). To me, I always felt like it was more a matter of wanting to be seen just as worthy as Thor so that, if Loki did end up on the throne, he would get the same respect, admiration, and support as Thor would. In other words, Loki knows ("knows," at this point) that both he and Thor are of royal blood and have the ability and the right to rule, so Loki sitting on the throne shouldn't be any different or "less" than Thor sitting on it. And yet, it was different and it was different for no real reason except that Asgard - including their family and friends - viewed Loki as inherently lesser than Thor due to how different he was from Thor and from what a "man" should be, societally speaking.
If that makes sense?
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aurorawest · 2 years
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Do you think Thor was also damaged by Odin in some ways? I know people talk about Loki which can seem like low hanging fruit, for good reason, but a thing with Thor is seeing his confusion that mjolnir actually belonged to Hela before him and having to revaluate his place in the world too? Or what it must've been like to kind of grow up the golden child maybe came with its own negatives?
Oh my gosh, absolutely! Absolutely. So much. Odin damaged all of his children in completely different and novel ways, haha. The fact of Hela's existence is a perfect example. Loki even says it: "Hurts, doesn't it? Being lied to. Being told you're one thing and then learning that it's all a fiction?"
And tbh it's not just Hela—Thor's had his concept of worth tied for presumably much of his life to his hammer, and his ability to wield it. So what does it mean that Hela used it before him? What does it mean that it's gone? Thor's identity gets stripped from him in Ragnarok symbolically by Odin and then literally on Sakaar, when his hair is cut off and his clothes get taken (sound familiar?).
You also have to imagine the swaggering asshole at the beginning of Thor 1 is at least in part Odin's fault. There's a lot of subtext in the movie, imo, that Odin is aware that he's led both of his sons to act this way, that this is all, in some way, his fault. It's very obvious at the end with Loki, but I even think you can see that in the fight he has with Thor that leads to Thor's banishment. There's a strong 'I fucked up' vibe from Odin in both Thor 1 and Ragnarok (it gets lost in TDW, as does...so much).
Also yes, being the oldest and having all that expectation on him would definitely be hard. This is really the realm of head canon, but I've always written Thor as feeling just as trapped by the expectations of who he's supposed to be as Loki is. And I think for Thor, there would be the additional pain of really feeling like he needed to keep all of that inside. He's going to complain that he's heir to the throne of Asgard? That everyone loves him? That he can do no wrong? There's not a lot of room to be human in all of that, and to have to bottle it all up because you don't think these are even real problems, well, that just makes it harder. In some ways, I think Thor would be as jealous of Loki as Loki is of him, because he sees Loki as having freedom that he'll never have.
Thanks for the ask!
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occasionalfics · 4 years
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touch every star (4)
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Pairing: Thor X Cinderella!Reader AU
A/N: I’m honestly so glad people like this. It’s not a lot of you reaching out to tell me so, but that’s okay. I think, at the end of the day, I did write this for me before I wrote it for anyone else, and I’m really glad I decided to revisit and share it!
Oh and I changed Odin’s name because of the setting/world, more or less. Odin Odinson didn’t feel right in this context 😂
Warnings: Lots of angst, a really, really shitty boss, but overall this is probably the most pure fic I’ve ever written?
Words: 4,051
//
His mother called a family dinner a week after the gala, early in December, just like she always did. Frigga liked to make holiday plans close to the holidays, and always in person.
Thor wasn’t sure he’d be able to make it, but he knew his mother would be disappointed if he skipped out. And that she wouldn’t accept “work” as a valid excuse for his absence. None of her children were really allowed to miss family dinners. Ever. Even if she never said it like that.
But he’d run out of the office at the last possible minute to be able to make it in time and, of course, that meant he didn’t have time to run home and leave the mask on his kitchen counter. He’d been keeping it in his blazer pockets during the day, and in the most visible spot on his  counter every night since the gala, a reminder of the woman he’d lost twice now.
His only physical reminder.
He felt so stupid for being so easily distracted. Just having her in his arms had been enough to make him forget to ask for her god damn name! It wasn’t like the mask could help track her down, but if he’d just asked what her name was, he’d have something to actually go on.
As he came up from the subway, Thor patted the mask inside his breast pocket, hoping that was a good enough hiding spot to keep it from his family’s prying eyes. 
No such luck, of course. How he thought he could truly fool his mother like that was a question that would later haunt him.
No sooner had he stepped into his parents’ penthouse apartment and pulled the blazer off to hang on their coat rack did the damn mask fall out of the pocket and right onto the floor. And since it was metal falling on hard marble floors, everyone in the vicinity heard it.
Hela, the oldest Odinson sibling - the wily one, which said something with Loki in the running; the one who was able to talk her way out of half of the family dinners when she felt like doing anything but sitting at a table with her father - poked her head out from the kitchen and into the foyer.
“You’re late,” she said flatly, her long, dark hair flying out past her frame in a ridiculously extensive braid. Then her eyes fell to the ground, since Thor had bent down to pick the mask back up. “What’s that?”
“Nothing,” he answered.
But that only intrigued his sister more. Because of course it did. He managed to shove the mask back into his blazer before she made it across the room, but Thor knew there was no way Hela hadn’t seen exactly where he’d put it.
“I’ll give you one chance to tell me what it is, Little Brother, or I’ll find out myself.” Never one to beat around a threat, she was upfront and clear.
The familiarity almost comforted Thor.
He rolled his eyes and ignored her because, really, what was she going to do with a metal masquerade mask? It was Frigga seeing it that he actually feared. He knew that if he didn’t make a big deal of it, Hela most likely wouldn’t, either.
Or so he hoped, anyway.
Moving into the kitchen, he smiled and greeted the rest of his family. Loki and Odin were already seated at the dining room table, Frigga was still working away at the last details of the dinner, and Hela was only just then coming back into the room to pour out drinks. Thor helped by taking dishes and cups to the table, which was more than he could say for his brother, at the very least.
“Nice to see you again, Loki,” he said, only somewhat teasing. His brother had a propensity for travel, and for causing mischief wherever he went. Usually it was all in good fun, but it also meant that the family often wouldn’t hear from him for weeks on end. So, in a way, it actually was nice to see him again.
The youngest Odinson sibling smiled widely, almost to the point of being fake. “You as well, Brother.”
Within minutes, Frigga forced everyone into their normal spots around the table with she and her husband, Freyr, at opposite ends and her children - Thor and Loki on one side, Hela on the other - around them.
They dug into the food, making the normal smalltalk for a family of five full grown adults. And then, when Frigga asked her children if there was anything new going on before getting into whatever she’d called the dinner for, Hela smirked.
Thor should’ve known he couldn’t trust his older sister with this. He was the Golden Child - literally and figuratively; Thor was the only one that had inherited their mother’s blond hair where his siblings had dark, dark hair that resembled Freyr in his younger days - and Hela had always been jealous of that. She’d never done anything to, like, harm him or Loki, but she did whatever she could to put them both through the ringer. Reasonably.
“Thor’s hiding something from us,” she said, point-blank. It was that easy for her. “I found a woman’s masquerade mask in his jacket.”
Frigga stared at him a moment, a curious glance thrown in his direction. He was beginning to wonder if she knew what to ask him, but then she sat forward, and he knew it was coming.
“What ever for?”
He rolled his eyes. Part of him really wanted to put this behind him by making something up. But the other part of him, the Romantic part that couldn’t forget the woman he’d danced with, hoped that speaking into the Universe what he wanted might bring it to him. 
After all, some force in the Universe had already brought her twice.
“I kind of met someone,” he said as calmly as he could, looking anywhere but into the eyes of anyone else at the table. The ceiling was nice and distracting, for instance.
Frigga, on the other hand, went straight into a fit. She started out making unintelligible noises before getting out a breathy and loud, “Excuse me?!”
Thor shrugged, knowing that now there was absolutely no reason to cut corners. Hela had started this conversation, so why not just do what she would at this point? “Well, I-I didn’t so much meet someone as I...uh, bumped into her twice, and then we danced at the holiday gala.”
No one had a response to that, which surprised Thor. His siblings almost always had something to say. His father nearly never held his opinion back, and his mother was well known for her unnecessary reactions.
It took him a second to look up at his family, notice they’d all stopped what they were doing, and sit back to ask, “What?”
“I’d be the first to wager no one was expecting that,” Loki muttered.
“Who is this woman?” Frigga asked.
Thor wished he had an answer. Wanted one more than anything, but not just for his family’s sake.
God, he wanted to know her name so badly. Wanted to know her, beyond knowing that she worked on his floor and had the prettiest laugh in the entire world. He remembered her in that dress - that baby blue that made her look soft and elegant - and wished, so badly, that he wasn’t about to let his family down.
“I don’t know,” he said quietly.
Hela couldn’t help herself but chuckle. Thor didn’t even blame her for it, either. Their father, however, cleared his throat and glared at her.
“I’m sorry,” Frigga interrupted. “Did you say you don’t know the woman that mask you’re carrying around belongs to?”
“Uh. Yes?”
And that set both of his siblings to laughter. Which he’d anticipated, if only in the last few minutes of the conversation. So he let it happen until their father had enough. All he did was put his fork down loudly, but it was enough to call the table to order. Just not without glares right back at him from his oldest and youngest.
“Do you have a way to find her, dear?” Frigga asked, calmer now, like nothing had happened in between her previous question and this one.
Thor might never know how his mother was always able to pinpoint the worst part of every situation, but he did know that she was always the first to offer a solution. So sometimes it was hard for him to explain every single detail; if he got it out anyway, Frigga would give him something to help.
“I do not.”
Suddenly, he wasn’t hungry anymore. His initial reaction to admitting that was to wish he was back at work, not thinking about this woman that kept getting away from him. But he couldn’t really escape her there, either, if she worked on his floor.
“Can I see the mask?” Frigga asked. “Please.”
With nothing left to hide, Thor nodded. He got up from the table and went back into the foyer, gently pulling the mask from his jacket as if Frigga seeing it could fix everything. That wasn’t possible and he wasn’t letting himself believe that it was, but he also couldn’t let go of his hope.
Hope to see that woman again. Hope to, finally, be able to tell her who he was as well as ask who she was. Hope that they could find something more than small moments on elevators and dancefloors.
He brought the mask to his mother directly, putting it beside her napkin before returning to his seat. He forced himself to eat a little bit while she examined the metalwork. No one said anything again, which unsettled Thor more than helped the situation.
“She was at the Stark holiday gala?” Frigga asked finally.
Thor only nodded.
“If she came alone, which I assume she did if you danced together, then she’s most likely a Stark employee, is she not?”
“She is. I think she works in one of the offices on the same floor as mine.” He swallowed hard and forced out, “I just don’t know which one.”
“Well that’s no problem.” Frigga handed the mask to Hela, who passed it back to Thor. “Your phone has camera capabilities. Post fliers, send a blast email. Whatever it takes to find this woman.” She cut off a piece of her fish, then looked him dead in the eye. “You wouldn’t be carrying her mask around if you didn’t want to find her, dear. I know you at least that well.”
---
All she thought about for days was the tall blonde man with lighting around one eye and a dashing smile that lit up the whole god damn room around him. It wasn’t fair. He was...so far out reach in far too many ways.
First, he was definitely out of her league. Nat and Wanda might not agree, but they thought she was too good for everyone.
Second, she still had no idea who he was. Whenever someone went past her office, she’d look up and hope it was him, but it never was. It was like he came in earlier and left later than she did every day, and never once did he appear to leave his office. Either that, or he worked on a part of the floor she couldn’t see from her desk.
She thought about going to search for him every day, but Sitwell kept her far too busy to spare a moment on a whim. A dream.
That’s what he was: a dream. Tall and lovely and kind. Inviting. At least those are the things he’d let her see. She wasn’t sure what else there was, but she wanted to know so badly.
But by the end of her days, she was so tired she never really spared a thought for searching. She went on autopilot after six, walking absently into the elevator without thinking twice. Her thoughts all turned to dinner and bed by the time she made it down to the subway, and only when she was halfway home did she remember she had a hypothetical mission.
But really, who was she kidding? She wasn’t going to find him. If it hadn’t happened in the week since the gala, it wasn’t going to happen, and such was her luck.
Nat, however, seemed to be blessed, in comparison. She’d met a man before the gala, who’d then invited her as his date, and things seemed to be going well between them.
“He’s...interesting,” she said when Wanda asked about him one night. “So smart. Like, intimidatingly smart. Or at least he would to anyone else.” She chuckled at herself, pulling one leg up close to her on the couch so she could paint her toenails.
“You are the smartest person I know,” Y/N said. And she wasn’t exaggerating; Natasha had a knack for keeping up with the best minds, the fastest thinkers. Y/N had gone to a few photoshoots with her at the start of their roommateship, and she’d seen how Nat handled herself in a room full of self important people who only saw her as a marketing tool. So it wasn’t a surprise to Y/N that this man had piqued her interest with his brains first.
“We have a lot of fun together.”
“I’m almost sorry I missed you guys at the gala,” Y/N said. She meant it as a joke, but it caught Wanda’s attention, apparently.
“I’m sorry, what?” she asked, suddenly blinking fast in disbelief.
Y/N and Nat made eye contact for a second, then nodded like they’d communicated something top secret.
“The gala was super crowded,” Nat said. “I spent all night with Bucky and his friends. One of ‘em ran off to get us drinks and never came back. I’m still not convinced he didn’t get eaten by the crowd.”
“This was the first year the whole company was invited,” Y/N told them. “I might send in a suggestion for new venues if that’s gonna be the standard for next year.”
“But-wait, you didn’t text each other to meet up at some point?” Wanda asked, clearly still confused.
Nat shrugged. “I mean, I did text, but by that time Y/N had already left.”
“I had to get home to give you the dress.”
Wanda stared for a minute. That was all she did. She’d even stopped fiddling with her phone. It was like she’d short circuited or something, and it started to scare her roommates when it went on for well over thirty seconds.
“What?” Y/N asked, brows creasing in part-frustration and part-concern.
“So you went alone to a black tie gala, then left early because I asked for the dress?” Wanda asked.
“Uh. Yeah. What’s wrong with that?”
“Did you do anything at the gala? Or did you just stand around in a crowd in that amazing dress?”
“Hey,” Nat called softly, nudging Wanda with her heel. “Chill.”
“I am chill,” she said back. “I’m just a little concerned…”
“Why?” Y/N asked, a certain kind of panic setting in. A voice in her head that sounded all too familiar - her stepmother’s voice - started filling in the gaps Wanda left behind. You have too much time, and I know just the way to fill it.
But a calmer voice inside told her that Wanda was nothing like that woman.
“You were so excited to go to the party,” Wanda said softly, scooting closer to Y/N so she could put her hand on her knee. “You deserved to have a good time.”
“Well it’s not like I just stood around,” Y/N defended. And then, a little absently, “Although, I probably would have if I’d actually gotten in line for the bar.” 
Of course she’d gone to the gala hoping to see him, but from the moment of stepping through the doors and into the immense crowd, she’d basically given up on that hope. There were too many people to navigate around, so she’d set her sights on the bar in search of a distraction. Which then, that, too, had been dashed when she had found her Elevator Crush.
“Okay,” Wanda said, motioning for her to keep going. “So what did you do then?”
Y/N felt her face flush. She couldn’t stop the smile from forming on her face, even as she tried to hide it by covering her mouth with her hand. Her roommates both saw right through that; Nat got excited and nearly attacked Y/N to move her arm while Wanda sat up straighter and let it all happen.
“You met someone!” Nat insisted. And when Y/N made no other response but a long, drawn out whine, she said, “Oh my god, you did!”
The laughter she and Y/N let out then was undeniable. Unstoppable. Nat laughed because she was right (and so did Y/N), and Y/N laughed because the memory of dancing with her Elevator Crush - her Lightning Man - brought butterflies to her stomach.
“Dish! Tell us everything!” Wanda said, smiling as she moved to lean her elbow on the back of the couch and face both of her roommates.
Y/N figured there was no time like the present. And since she’d been caught, she may as well let it out. Maybe if she told her roommates, something out in the ether might hear and make things happen, she figured.
“I, uh. I met a guy on the elevator when I was leaving one day. But then I kinda freaked out on him and ran to the subway and just had a feeling I was never gonna see him again. But...I don’t know why I thought I’d find him at the gala, since I knew everyone was gonna be there, but I did. I just knew. And then he stepped on the dress and-”
“Wait,” Wanda cut in. “He did what?!”
“It was fine. Not a scratch on it.” Y/N shrugged, but she knew that part of the story wasn’t really nothing. Fine it might be, but it was of consequence when the two women with her now helped her pay for that dress. “He bent down to help me fix the dress but there was nothing on it. And I guess my mask wasn’t enough to really hide anything and he recognized me.”
“Holy shit,” Nat said.
Y/N had always thought that Natasha, for all her badassery and intelligence, was secretly a hopeless romantic when push came to shove. She smiled wider at the whispered curse, then went on.
“And then we danced. All night. We talked a little and he made me laugh and stuff. It was nice.”
“I feel like you’re downplaying this,” Wanda accused, but her tone was as teasing as the single raised brow thrown at Y/N. “I think you really like him!”
“Who is he?” Nat asked. “Maybe he knows Bucky!”
And that’s when Y/N’s stomach and heart both sank into her butt.
“Oh, uh. That’s kinda the thing.” She bit the inside of her cheek, trying to work herself up to tell her friends how foolish she’s been. Twice she’s met this man, twice he’s given her his time and attention (which she knows isn’t everything, but it is something), and twice she’s run off from him without giving him her name or asking for his.
“My phone went off before I got around to asking who he was. I had to get out of there to get the dress home in time for-”
“Oh no.” Wanda’s face blanched, and her expression went blank. “Oh honey, no, no! I would’ve understood!”
“But you needed the dress-“
Wanda put one hand each on Y/N’s shoulders, shaking gently as she said, “And you deserved to enjoy yourself and have a hot guy ogle you! Oh my god, Y/N, you totally could’ve stayed!”
“But we agreed-“
“Y/N, you’re the best and most noble friend anyone could ask for but god damn it, you should have stayed! You should've gotten his name and lived happily ever after and, for the record, I totally would’ve forgiven you for keeping the dress!”
She just stared at Wanda because, honestly, that kind of understanding didn’t compute. Y/N had never had friends like her current roommates before. She’d never shared something so lovely as that dress with anyone before, and she’d taken the responsibility of sharing very seriously. It had never occurred to her that she could apologize and ask for more just because she’d been given so little.
“What was he wearing, Y/N?” Nat asked, drawing both of her roommates’ attention to her.
She tried to remember. His suit had been nice, she could remember that much, but his eyes… The bright blue hue of them distracted her. She couldn’t recall what color the suit had been, no matter how hard she tried. To be fair, she hadn’t spent that much time looking at his suit,
But she had spent a decent amount of time looking at his face. His mask.
“He had on this gorgeous black and gold mask with this silver branch-like detailing,” she said, eyes drifting to the corner of the room as her memory sailed. “It kind of looked like...like lightning.”
Nat and Wanda watched the dreamy look on Y/N’s face. It was a glance they’d never seen on her before, but they liked what it implied. Wanda smiled back, and Nat’s jaw dropped as she reached for her phone.
“Ho-ly shit!” she said, hitting each syllable individually, popping up onto her knees energetically. “Holy shit holy shit holy shit!”
“What?” Wanda asked, sitting back a bit.
“I know who he is!” She fiddled with her phone for a second, and though neither of them noticed, no part of this conversation was bringing Y/N back from the lofty, far-off place she’d gone to.
She was busy remembering their dance, his hands on her, his laughter in her vicinity. The way he’d immediately recognized her. The fact that, for some reason, he didn’t blame her for running out of that elevator like he’d done something dangerous.
She liked him for all of it.
And right after realizing that, he was placed right in her line of sight. On Nat’s phone. Google Images popped up one after another, all of this tall blonde man and his incredible eyes. His indescribable smile. The easy way he carried himself, despite knowing he was on the large side of the human spectrum.
“Is this him?” Nat asked.
Y/N nodded. She looked up at the search bar.
Thor Odinson.
So that was his name.
“But- how did you know?” she asked, whipping her head toward Nat.
“He’s a friend of Bucky’s,” her roommate answered. “Like, a close friend, I think. They’re all part of this group of Stark directors and execs and I met him, I’m guessing before he ran into you.”
Thor. The name certainly suited him, and the mask made sense now.
“Oh my god, this is amazing! Y/N, I can tell Bucky you’re the elevator girl! He can help and-”
“No.”
Even she couldn’t believe she’d said it.
“Bu- What?” Nat asked, her face scrunching up.
Y/N stood to move away from her friends. Moving around the lovely, light memories of dancing and smiles was the fact that this man - Thor, her Elevator Crush - was an executive. Or, at least, a director of some office within the building. He was way, way above her, and if Jasper Sitwell had taught her anything, it was that reaching too far was dangerous.
No wonder she never saw him around. He was probably way too busy to deal with her on a regular basis.
But she couldn’t explain that to Nat, who had an answer prepared before Y/N realized a question had been asked.
“No,” she repeated. “It’ll be better if I find him,” she then lied. “But I appreciate the thought. Really.” She forced a smile, but all three women knew each other well enough to know it was as fake as the promise of looking for him was.
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