Stop 👏 treating 👏 nblm 👏 like 👏 mlm-lite 👋
Nblm includes all nonbinary identities not just ones with similarities to mlm identity!
Nblm does include nonbinary mlms and nonbinary gay guys, yes ofcourse! But it also includes transfems and nonbinary trans women just as much as it includes transmascs and nonbinary trans men. It includes bi+ nonbinary sapphics. It includes afab and amab nonbinary people, fem presenting and masc presenting, transitioning and non-transitioning. It includes more man-aligned nonbinarys and woman-aligned nonbinarys. It includes agender people, genderfluid, bigender, demiboys, demigirls, an every other identity underneath the nonbinary umbrella. Because its for ALL nonbinary people who are attracted to men.
So stop treating us like we can all just be tacked on to the end of a sentence about mlm and have it count as nonbinary inclusion. When people write about an issue specific to mlm but write “mlm/nblm” the intention is good, they usually do so because they want to include nonbinary people who are attracted to men and have the similar experiences. But what you end up doing is creating the impression that nblm is the same as nonbinary mlm and that all nblm experiences are similar to mlm ones and that we’re all basically mlm-lite. Which isn’t true! When people do this they want to be inclusive and allies but in treating us like an add on to mlm what you’re actually doing is showing that you dont really understand what nblm means, that you dont recognize the diversity of our experiences, and that you are reducing us to an add on to a binary category without actually reflecting on the unique ways different nonbinary identities interact with different issues in ways that go beyond simply assuming we’re all mlm-lite. Honestly it feels performative, people want to look like they’re including nonbinary people but they’re not actually doing any of the work to recognize the diversity of nonbinary experiences and how they actually relate to whatever issue is being talked about.
Because we’re not a monolith. The experiences of a nonbinary gay man, a transmasc agender bisexual, a pansexual transfem, a genderfluid person only attracted to men, a bi+ sapphic demigirl, etc are not going to be the same. But they’re all nblm experiences. Some of them are the same as or similar to mlm experiences, but many are completely different. For some its straight up misgendering to imply their experience of attraction to men is at all similar to mlms.
So if your talking about an mlm issue, just say mlm and dont tack nblm on to the end of it because you want to seem nonbinary inclusive without actually doing the work, and if you want to specifically include nonbinary mlms just say nonbinary mlm instead of using nblm incorrectly and contributing to the erasure of nonbinary diversity!
Thank you for coming to my ted talk.