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#often times with my tone issues i make people laugh even when im not trying to lol
astral--horrorshow · 2 years
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hi!! can i get a romantic studio ghibli matchup (like, out of all the movies u write for !!) anyway, i’m a 5’0 trans gay enby who uses they/he pronouns. i have long-ish black/red split dye hair, i’m very pale, and i have blue eyes. i’m also kinda chubby and i look very very tired almost always. i mostly dress causal & in pajamas, but when i feel like it, i just dress in an all black emo sorta outift? idk LOL
if this helps i’m an ISFP 4w5, gemini/cancer cusp. i’m a very very quiet and reserved person in public, especially around those my own age. i choose to not talk and i often just nod my head or shrug. i really only respond when need be! however, when you get to know me, i am absolutely chaotic. i love to make people laugh and will do anything to achieve that! i’m very physical and i love picking people up and play fighting with them (i love arm wrestling and thumb war LOL). i have a temper that’s hard to control in private, and i do get a little physical- but i don’t hurt anyone. i just throw around stuffed animals or pillows. in public i am more self-aware and it’s only visible through my movements, tone, and expressions that i’m angry. but i also feel guilty and very sad and i cannot be angry at someone for too long and i end up coming back to apologize (but sometimes i’m petty so if its their fault and what they did really hurt i won’t). enough about that though, abt my friends. i always try to fix their problems and give them advice and i sort out their issues and whatnot for them. im always there to listen and id consider myself a good listener, even tho sometimes i can lose hope and give up. i am mostly pessimistic and think things will go wrong abt get really nervous, but sometimes im very optimistic and cheer people on, esp my friends. i overthink a lot, bad or good things, which usually ends up in me spaced out, and i have a hard time pulling myself back into reality. i get embarrassed very easily. i stand up for what i believe in no matter what and i speak my mind for the most part. i have strong beliefs and opinions, im very skeptical of others at first, and i take a while to warm up to new people. but sometimes my anxiety overwhelms me too much. i also get scared very very easily. i also have BPD if that matters
i love love LOVE bugs, cats, knives, plushies, and rubber ducks. I collect the last three things !! they are my favorites in the world and i love going outside and collecting little bugs and ive always wanted a pet spider. i also adore dark/horror media things, and i love halloween. i love being scared and going into horror rides & ghost tours, theyre my fav ! cats r my fav animal and i want 50 of them when i get older. plushies comfort me a lot so do rubber ducks, so ig thats a bit childish, but thats okay :). i collect knives bc i think theyre cool and i like to show them off like theyre my babies (they are). i also love rollercoasters and theme parks, i luv adrenaline. i constantly have to tell ppl they wont die, even tho sometimes im scared myself. i love weezer, foo fighters, childish gambino, korn, and ghost. music is a very very big part of my personality LOL.
im not a big fan of pda but in private i LOVE PHYSICAL AFFECTION AND WORDS OF AFFIRMATION !! i love kisses and hugs and i will die without them. gift giving is my least fav method of affection, i feel too bad lol. i dont like being ignored and i get a lil jealous sometimes, so i need reassurance a lot. i prefer masculine people and someone who'd be patient w/ me.
thanks!!
Okokok-
Before i finished i know who it was-
Howl from Howls Moving Castle!
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I just think you two would get along great! Also, ty so much for paying attention to my less popular fandoms! Its a very nice change of pace. Howl is one of my favorite movies and the book is one of my faves too, so im glad i got to think ab studio ghibli today!
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toplinetommy · 3 years
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Kill My Lonely Nights - Tyson Jost
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a/n: after plotting and replotting this fic for over a month its finally here. my baby and definitely my most favorite thing ive ever written. hope everyone enjoys it as much as i do.
tagging @bqstqnbruin​ thanks for being my beta and for bouncing ideas around with me and also my fav josty whores 😇 @justjosty​ @hookingminor​ @farbutnevergone
Synopsis: tyson finally meets jt’s neighbor — and he’ll stick by her side through her ‘i’m a single and independent woman’ phase as long as jt doesn’t find out
songs: im so tired - lauv, troye sivan; better than heaven - slander; cherry on top - olmos, kyle reynolds
words: 20k+
warnings: alcohol, smut, unprotected sex​
“Tyson, you know my neighbor right?”
You roll your eyes at JT’s way of introducing the two of you, because, no, you did not know the curly-headed brunette in front of you. You had seen him in passing a few times when he was over at JT’s but you never learned his name. In fact, the only thing you knew about him was that they were teammates and you got that from deductive reasoning since he was always dressed in some sort of Avalanche merch. 
“I’m y/n,” you smile, sticking out your hand for the stranger to shake. 
“Tyson,” the no longer nameless stranger responds, a quirky smile on his lips.
“It’s nice to finally put a name to the face,” you respond, your cheeks heating up as you look over him. He’s cute in that quirky way where his head’s a mess of curls, his eyes full of joy, and his shoulders filling out the grey Avs hoodie quite nicely. 
“Same here,” Tyson agrees, shoving his hands into his sweatpants pockets. You continued to gather the few things in the living room that were yours before finding your phone charger and giving JT a hug. 
“I’ll see you when you get back from Chicago yeah?”
“Yep, have a good birthday!” JT cheers, from his spot on the couch.
With that you bid Tyson and JT a goodbye, choosing to wave at Tyson instead of showing an outright affection towards the stranger. The door shuts behind you as you walk a few feet down the carpeted hallway to your own door. 
“Dude,” Tyson starts, turning his attention back on his buddy from where it was lingering on the now-closed door. 
“No-”
“You don’t even know what I’m gonna say!” Tyson incredulously interrupts.
“You’re gonna tell me she’s hot because, yeah, anyone can see that. She’s going through this thing she’s been calling a ‘guy cleanse’,” JT explains, putting finger quotes around guy cleanse. Tyson brushes the comment aside, not bothering to ask any more questions. If he’d want to get to know you, he knows he’d have to do it without JT’s help. JT always had this thing of being overprotective over the women in his life, especially being a guy that grew up in hockey with three little sisters.
Another week or so passes before Tyson sees you again. It’s when he’s getting into the elevator after getting dinner with his JT, and you’re just getting home from what Tyson presumes is work and maybe even the liquor store with the purse and lunch box hanging in the crease of your elbow as well as the case of Truly’s in your other hand.
“Hey, it’s y/n, right?” Tyson says in lieu of a greeting. He holds the elevator open for you as you step out, thinking of ways to keep the conversation longer than a simple greeting. 
“Yeah,” you smile, warmly at him. He can see that your hands are full as you try to shovel through your bag in search of your keys as you take another step towards your door towards the end of the hallway. “Well, uh, have a good night Tyson.”
Tyson watches as you turn away with a small smile, and suddenly he’s stumbling over his words, trying to make the moment last longer. He’s rarely ever seen you around, most times in passing in this very hallway and the occasional time JT talked to you on the phone when they were on the road. You didn’t go to games, you didn’t hang out with the team, and you were never over at JT’s when Tyson would show up.
But when he had officially met you the other week when you were leaving JT’s apartment, he was transfixed and curious about the girl JT always talked about but never brought around.
“Do you wanna come in for a drink?” You ask, nodding to the case in your hand. You’re asking as more of a common courtesy than anything else, but you can tell that he’s waiting for you to make the next move regarding this run-in with him. The peachiness of his cheeks and his hands shoved into his jacket pockets are proof of that.
“You sure?”
“Any friend of JT is a friend of mine,” you smile, opening your front door and gesturing for Tyson to go in before you.
“Yeah, okay,” Tyson smiles, taking another step towards you and reaching out for the box of Truly’s. “Let me take that for you.”
Tyson graciously takes the case from you and steps through the doorway of your apartment, suddenly losing any train of thought he once had now that he’s in an apartment he’s never been in. He sees the fridge across the way and decides he’ll just stick the drinks in there. There’s thankfully space in the fridge for them and he watches you shred your raincoat and heels by the door. “So, uh, how do you know JT? Like, I know you guys are neighbors but he’s always referring to you as his best friend. I honestly didn’t even know that you lived next to him until the other week.”
You laugh, thinking back to how you even met JT. It was nowhere near being a typical introduction between neighbors, it was honestly pretty far from that. “So, whenever he first moved here like two years ago, I was sitting in my car in the parking garage on the phone with my dad, and this car parks next to me and the driver gets out and completely dings my car. I’m talking a paint scratch that’s starting to rust now.”
“He’s pretty unaware of his space,” Tyson laughs, knowing all too well that his friend did something like that.
“And so, I get out of my car, and I confront him about it, and he apologizes and whatever, not a big deal. But then he gets off the elevator with me and I’m thinking this guy’s gotta be a creep since he’s barely talking to me but then he pulls out his keys and is unlocking the door next to mine, and now he bugs me all the time,” you smile, Tyson making space for you to go into the fridge he’s currently standing in front of. 
“You see that picture frame over there?” you nod your head to the wall your TV is mounted on. Tyson walks over to it, inspecting it and noting that neither of the people in it are you or JT. “There’s paint missing behind it because when he was helping me mount my TV he hit the wall with the drill. He got me the frame to cover it but I still haven’t gotten around to putting a picture there.”
Tyson’s eyebrows quirk up, “and how long has it been there?”
“Uh, maybe a year?” you answer, your tone making it sound more like a question as you blush. Tyson only laughs at you, fully understanding how something like that can slip from your mind. You offer him a Truly at that, him not missing an opportunity to chirp you since your flavor of choice was lime, even though his was black cherry, which in your mind was the most basic flavor there was.
He sits across from you at the island while you stand opposite of him, leaning on the granite in front of you. He can’t get enough of your laughter, finding it’s something you do quite often as the two of you share stories. You, on the other hand, have to stop yourself from blushing since he doesn’t break eye contact with you once. It’s starting to get late and you still haven’t eaten dinner, so with an empty Truly in hand, Tyson is reluctantly getting up to head home to prepare for his early practice and flight tomorrow. He doesn’t want to impose on you any further, considering you were essentially strangers an hour ago.
You wave goodbye at him as he walks down the hallway to the elevator, a smile on your face as he nearly runs into Mr. Harter, the man that lives at the end of the hallway. You laugh as he apologizes profusely, something you amount to his Canadian upbringing.
Tyson curses himself over the next few days for not getting your number, and there’s no way in hell he’s asking JT for it. He doesn’t know how he’ll go about getting it, and the possibility of him running into you to get it is slim, with the fact that the Avs have a nine-day roadie on the upper East Coast. He figures he’ll try to ask JT more about you over the course of the trip, and then hopefully weasel his way into getting it.
It’s three days into the roadie and they’re sitting next to each other on the flight from Ottawa to Toronto. JT is busy on his iPad, and Tyson looks around him, seeing Cale and Gravy reading books, and G is passed out behind him. Tyson nudges JT’s shoulder with his, JT pulls out his AirPod and looks towards his buddy.
“So, y/n, eh?” He jumps right in, watching as JT rolls his eyes and moves to put his AirPod back in. “You said she doesn’t date?”
“Correct.”
“Why’s that? She seems like she wouldn’t have any issue in that department.”
“First off, that’s gross. Secondly, even if she was dating, you aren’t allowed to try anything,” Tyson chooses to ignore that part but continues to listen anyway. “She’s just like focused on herself, I don’t know. She knows her worth and knows what she deserves. She’s been single for as long as I’ve known her. It’s no bullshit with her, in every aspect of her life.” JT shrugs his shoulders as he talks. He’s not an expert on the topic because it’s not one you really talk about with him considering it’s just not really a huge part of your life.
Tyson hums along as he listens to JT talk, trying his best not to show why he’s even asking these questions in the first place. He takes what his friend says in stride, not being one to have gone through a phase like the one you’re going through. In fact, Tyson’s never been someone to say no to a date, fully taking advantage of the pro-athlete lifestyle he’s been living for years now. JT knows this, knows what it’s like to be 22, and all eyes on you. 
He was there once, but he’s been with Sydney for over two years now. JT knows the locker room talk that goes on within hockey teams, he’s been living it his whole life. Yeah, the Denver room has been the best and the calmest when it comes to comments about guys’ dating lives, but the occasional whistle and chirp is made when one of the single guys has a story to share. The last thing he wants is to hear your name in one of those scenarios.
He doesn’t get your number during that road trip, can’t even find you on social media so he puts his efforts on pause. He even went through the list of people JT followed, your name not coming up once. Come to think of it, he doesn’t even know your last name.
Soon January is ending and February is starting, the season kicking into high gear as the all-star breaks ends and the playoff push truly begins. Tyson still hasn’t seen you around other than the occasional run-in, and you honestly haven’t given him much thought since that night in late January. Your life has always been chaotic, but still in the most organized way, and you’ve barely seen JT with the way his game schedule is laid out. But the middle of February brings Sydney to town and brings too many parties while she’s around.
It’s at Andre’s place where you see Tyson again, warm pleasantries shared between the two of you. He’s a little confused as he watches you chat with almost everyone there, the weird feeling coming from the fact that most people filling the apartment are on the Avalanche roster. He wonders if you’ve already met most of them or if you’re just that outgoing.
Tyson finally makes his way over to you, two cans in hand as he offers you the one with green lettering with a smile.
“A lime White Claw? That’s the way to my heart,” you joke, placing your hand over your heart before taking his offering.
“I was asking around to see if there were any Truly’s,” Tyson laughs, waving his hand around. “But I hope the White Claw is okay.”
“A White Claw definitely isn’t as good as a Truly but it’s a close second, thank you.”
“Right!” Tyson agrees, “People think they all taste the same but there’s a clear hierarchy of which seltzers are better than others.” You laugh along with Tyson at his comment in complete agreement. You tell him your own tier list of seltzers, starting with Truly’s and ranking the Bud Light ones as the worst.
“I’ve only had a few of them, but I’ll take your word for it,” The laughter between the two of you dies down before JT finds you, saying he’s been looking for you for a little bit.
“It’s not my fault I’m hidden by all these huge men,” you roll your eyes, pointing around the room that’s filled with men all over six feet tall.
“Did you know your neighbor was a hard seltzer connoisseur?” Tyson asks with a quirk of his eyebrow, causing you to scoff. You were nowhere being a ‘connoisseur’ of sorts.
JT takes a sip of his drink, “She’s an alcohol connoisseur period, bud.” WIth that JT disappears to go find his girlfriend, leaving the two of you alone. Tyson’s face is filled with confusion at JT’s comment, not entirely sure what his comment even meant.
“I used to bartend in college,” you answer his silent question. “Which makes me JT’s personal bartender most nights.”
“Maybe I’ll have to get you to make me a drink sometime then,” Tyson suggests. It’s a little too forward for his liking but it just slips out, and you giggle at his attempt at flirting. His tan cheeks have a pink flush to them, and you’re sure it’s not from the alcohol since most people have only been here for an hour or so.
“C’mon,” you nod your head in the direction of the kitchen. Tyson silently follows you, weaving between the people and the furniture. “I can get you that drink right now.”
Once you make it to the kitchen you look around the counters, taking note of the different types of liquors laid out. Tyson watches you as your hands move around, picking up and setting down various bottles. When you’re satisfied with your concoction, you hand him a shot glass, one in your own hand to match his.
“It’s a shooter,” you inform him. He puts trust in you, clinging your glass with his own and bringing the glass to his lips as he tips his head back. Your eyes stay on him as his tongue pokes out to swipe the extra liquid off his lips before you realize you haven’t even taken yours yet. His eyes stay locked on you as you throw your own shot back, your eyes reconnecting when you set the glass on the counter next to you.
A shiver runs through you as his eyes watch your every move. You hadn’t noticed it with any of your other previous run-ins with him but he’s intimidating in that way where his presence is radiating that good kind of confidence. You watched him, unbeknownst to him, as he made his way around the room before ever making it to you.
“So what was that you just gave me?” He asks, crossing his ankles and leaning further on the counter behind him. You move to stand next to him, your shoulder brushing his cotton-covered bicep.
“It’s called a lemon drop shot, it’s just vodka and lemon juice so nothing too special,” you shrug, turning to look up at him. “Maybe I’ll get around to making you more drinks.”
Tyson smirks lightly at your comment, his hands gripping the counter behind him. He remembers what JT told him not too long ago about you, and how you’re someone that doesn’t put up with bullshit when it comes to relationships and his heart deflates a bit. He’d much rather keep talking to you and eventually kiss you, but he knows deep down that’s not what he wants with you either. He can tell from your brief encounters that this could be way more than just a few dates, so he holds back and instead bites his lip before pulling his phone out of his pocket.
He passes it over to you, and you hesitate taking it as you look between the black phone and his brown eyes, “so we can plan a time for you to make me drinks.”
“Ah, I see, I see,” you quip back, taking the phone from his hands and opening a new message and typing in your phone number. You respond back to him on your phone, showing that you got the text and opening up the contact to save his information. “Should I put in some funny name for your contact or is Tyson good enough?”
Tyson laughs fully at that, his chest rumbling for a moment before he calms down and tells you his name is just fine for now, “but I won’t complain if you find a better name for me.” Tyson scratches the back of his head for a moment as he places his phone onto the counter next to him, trying to find the words to keep the conversation going.
You leave not too long after that, catching an Uber with JT and Sydney back to your place. Tyson stays near your side most of the night, giving you a full hug as you leave and a promise of texting you soon.
You see Tyson the next morning at brunch with JT and Sydney, his strong, muscular thighs touching yours in the small booth. You get some fancy french toast, Sydney eyeing you from where she sits across from you. She’s been a close friend of yours ever since JT introduced the two of you whenever she first visited. Her eyes keep flicking between you and Tyson and you give her a stern look, silently telling her to knock it off.
“So, y/n,” she starts, a smirk forming on her lips. “How’s the dating life?”
You scoff with a laugh at her question. She knows well enough how that aspect of your life is doing considering you text her on a pretty regular basis. You choose not to answer, the scoff you let out being enough. 
“Besides, no guy is good enough for her, right?” JT asks, looking over at you continuing his girlfriend’s train of thought. His eyes glance over at Tyson sitting next to you and Tyson ignores the look his teammate gives him. 
“You mean the idiots you always try to set me up with? The ones that don’t live in Denver?” You quip back with a raise of your eyebrows. It’s more of a joke than anything else, but Tyson doesn’t quite understand your tone and mannerisms yet.
His heartbeat speeds up momentarily, thinking that if you hadn’t had any interest in any of JT’s other friends, you definitely wouldn’t have an interest in him. Besides, he may live in Denver now, but that’s not even the whole year when you account for traveling and the offseason.
You miss it, but Tyson changes the subject anyways, which is something you’re grateful for. Brunch passes by and when the waitress comes back with two checks, you knit your eyebrows.
“Actually, could I have my own check? We aren’t together,” you stumble, cheeks heating up at the misinterpretation of yours and Tyson’s relationship.
Tyson takes the check from your outstretched hand, “it’s fine, I got it.”
He’s talking more to you than to the waitress as he smiles warmly at you. You thank him quickly, but not before saying you have enough cash to take care of the tip. He doesn’t argue, following the three of you out of the restaurant and to your car. The two of you linger a little further back than JT and Sydney, both of you reveling in the comfortable silence. 
“Do you have any plans for the rest of the day?” You ask.
“Not really, I was probably gonna call my mom and maybe do my laundry,” Tyson answers.
“Do you want to come over and hang out instead? I’m just gonna third wheel the two of them but maybe we can find something to do that’s more interesting than laundry.”
Tyson laughs at the third wheeling comment you make, being all too familiar with being the third wheel around most of his friends. “Sure, yeah, I’ll just follow you all then?”
“That sounds good. I’ll see you in a few,” you say goodbye with a smile and a shy wave, hopping into the backseat of JT’s SUV.
Once you get home, Tyson’s knocking on your door a few minutes later with the same warm smile he seems to always have. He sheds his winter coat as he enters your apartment, throwing it over the back of one of the kitchen chairs. He notes the change in clothes, as you’re now wearing an olive green crewneck instead of the wrap top with flowy sleeves you were wearing at the restaurant a few moments prior.
“You a big reader?” He asks, picking up and inspecting the book that’s laid out on the kitchen island. The Power of Now, it reads on the cover. He flips through the first few pages and goes to the back cover to read the reviews.
“Sometimes, it depends on what it is, but I usually just go through phases where I read in all of my free time and then I won’t touch a book again for the next few months,” you admit with a small laugh. “That one’s really good so far though. It’s just about how to live more presently and in the moment.”
Tyson nods his head as he listens, his eyes on you as you speak, “Cale really likes reading this kind of stuff, I should tell him about it.”
“Which one is Cale, again?” You ask, mentally going through the Colorado roster. 
This causes Tyson to laugh, “JT really doesn’t bring you around much, eh.”
You laugh along with him, “not really, but that’s on me sometimes. I go to bed too early for my own liking.”
Tyson’s confused as to why he’s never really seen you before at anything. Guys on the team are always bringing their friends around if they can. At first he thought he just always missed you, but he knows he wouldn’t miss someone as carefree and beautiful as you. Nevertheless, he’s glad he’s sitting in your kitchen right now, and to top it all off, he didn't even have to ask you to hang out first.
“Do you read at all?” You ask curiously. You really knew next to nothing about the man in front of you other than that he was Canadian, played hockey, and preferred Truly’s over White Claws (his favorite flavor was still to be unknown to you).
Tyson chokes out a laugh at your question, “No. When we travel I usually play random games with Sammy and he’s been teaching me French. I still don’t know much so don’t go asking me to say anything.”
“Duly noted,” you nod. You move to the pantry, looking for a few things as you continue to respond. “Like I said, my interest in reading comes in waves and you barely speaking French is better than me only knowing English.”
You continue rifling through your pantry, pulling out everything you know you need. You’ve just finished setting all of the dry ingredients you’d need to make brownies when Tyson asks you what the hell you’re doing.
“I was thinking we could make brownies,” you respond, opening your fridge and pulling out the milk, butter, and eggs. You hear the island chair scratch against the hardwood, indicating Tyson getting up.
“Wait a second,” Tyson says causing you to turn around with a confused look on your face. “Are these the brownies Comph always bringing around that his friend makes?”
“They very much are,” you chuckle. He compliments the baked good one more time before you’re putting him to work. The two of you move seamlessly through your small kitchen, both of you sharing smiles and stories to fill the time. There’s a moment where you see a certain glimmer in his eyes paired with a small smirk and you think he’s about to pull one of his infamous Jost pranks that JT was always telling you about. He doesn’t though, and instead just nudges your hip with his. It seems like you’re looking more at him more than focusing on the flexing of his forearms as he mixes the dry ingredients.
Once it’s time to mix the dry and wet ingredients, Tyson all but misses half the bowl, causing a good chunk of it to land on your crewneck and jeans. The brown powder covered the ‘Disney World’ logo across your chest.
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” Tyson rushes out, holding back a laugh, because of course he would embarrass himself in front of you and mess up something as simple as that. You move to the sink, shaking off the loose contents into it to help alleviate any sort of mess.
“You’re fine, I promise,” you reassure, turning around to give him a smile. He smiles nervously back at you, not fully knowing your statement was genuine or if you were trying to spare his feelings. He glanced at your chest, trying to see the damage he had done before realizing he was staring directly at your chest and his cheeks flushed. You walked back over to where he was standing, giving him another smile as you began mixing everything together. 
“Would you, uh, ever wanna grab dinner with me some time?” He asks, voice higher than normal as he speaks, his heart beating nervously for your answer. Your face falls as you hear the question and you slowly turn around to face the curly headed brunette. Tyson is a great guy, it’s obvious to everyone, and you’re not oblivious to the fact that there’s physical attraction between the two of you. It’s that Tyson is best friends with your best friend who also happens to be your neighbor.
You laugh nervously at the question, the question seemingly coming out of nowhere, before you respond, “Sure, it’s not like it’s a date or anything.” 
You brush it off, even though you’re pretty sure he was explicitly asking you out on a date. You turn your focus back to the brownies, popping them in the oven before wandering down your hallway to change into something clean. As Tyson walks over to take a seat on the couch, he sees your retreating figure as you pull your sweatshirt over your head. He stops in his tracks momentarily, seeing your bare back, the skin between your shoulder blades covered by your lacy bralette. He blinks a few too many times as he shakes any thoughts from his head and continues his path to the couch.
Your guys’ friendship quickly develops after that. The two of you starting a snapchat streak and having a long string of text messages involving various TikTok’s and memes alongside the more serious stuff. You seem to be spending more time at JT’s place when Tyson is also there and soon enough Tyson’s leaving JT’s and going the few extra feet to your place instead of home like he says he’s doing.
It’s one of those rare nights where it’s the three of you at JT’s place and you’re all catching up on the latest episode of Hell’s Kitchen. You’re pretty sure JT cheated and watched the new episode already with how quiet he’s being and how absorbed he is in his phone.
“JT, did you already fucking watch this?” You ask, whipping your head to look at the ginger in question. He’s sitting across the room from you in what he claims as ‘his chair’ while you’re sharing the sectional with Tyson, your feet in his lap. “And you wonder why I never watch shows with you. Tyson and I are going to start watching it without you.”
Tyson chuckles at that, his thighs rumbling under your ankles, his hands coming to rest atop of your shins. JT scoffs at you, unaware of your two’s newfound friendship. To him, the only time you ever saw or even talked to Tyson was when he was also around. Besides, he didn’t need to know the ins and outs of every single thing you did in a day, even if Tyson was involved in a good portion of those things.
You let JT’s previous actions of watching your show ahead slide since the episode was finally wrapping up. JT goes back to the Hulu home screen with an exaggerated yawn followed by stretching his arms above his head. It’s then he turns to his two best friends, letting them know he’s going to start heading to bed and that the two of you are more than welcome to hang out for a little while longer. He doesn’t think much of his offering, but it’s one Tyson’s thankful for if it means he gets uninterrupted time with you that isn’t revolving around the team or drinking.
It’s then he remembers how he never found you on social media, something that had bewildered him in the moment but one he forgot about once he got your phone number and snapchat. 
“So, this is gonna sound totally weird but do you have an Instagram?” He asks, infliction in his voice and ears turning pink at the question. He remembers how not too long ago he did some heavy duty deep dives into JT’s social media to see if he could find your name only to come up empty handed. Your stomach tightens and the thought of him looking for you, and you definitely don’t take it the weird way he’s insinuating.
“No, I don’t,” you respond, sitting up further in the corner of the couch, Tyson bravely holding onto your ankles. “Which definitely makes me the outlier of our generation. I had it for a while but then I kinda just got sick of it and how fake it was starting to get, so I deleted my account. I have not missed even once, too.”
He nods his head in understanding, he’s been there, especially with being a professional athlete. “I’ve been there. I deleted my twitter a while ago because every time I got on there some nobody would be in my notifications about how I was playing. I really didn’t need that, ya know? Like, I play hockey for a living and I’m very aware of when I’m underperforming. So, it was hard when I would get on my phone and see other people telling me the same things.”
Tyson’s fingers began to brush comfortably over your shins and ankles as he spoke, causing you to start slouching back into the couch. 
“I’ve gone back and forth with deleting Instagram but I just can’t seem to make a decision. Besides, I only follow my friends and musicians I like.”
“It’s definitely not for everyone,” you agree with a hum. “The biggest plus is that it gets me off my phone and I’m more absorbed with the real world. It’s all in that book I was reading a while ago that you asked about.”
Tyson remembers that conversation, a smile falling on his lips as he hands rub higher and higher on your calf. The movements are causing you to yawn not a minute later, but you try hard to keep your eyes open to continue to hang out with Tyson. “You a big music guy then?”
Tyson scoffs with a small, playful grip on your leg, “I get the aux in the locker room, so I’d say so. Not a big deal.”
You laugh at his joking manner, snuggling deeper into JT’s couch. Tyson notices how sleepy you’re becoming and he gives your leg another squeeze.
“C’mon, I’ll walk you home,” Tyson suggests as he slips from underneath you to his feet.
You chuckle at that, considering you're more than capable to walk the few feet from JT’s door to your own. Before you can respond saying just that, Tyson’s reaching his hand for yours to help you off the couch.
“My mom raised me to be a gentleman, so I’m walking you home even if it is down the hall.”
You accept his offer, the two of you walking in silence until you’re pushing your key into the lock. You turn back to Tyson once you’ve cracked your door open, wanting to take in the silent, all-too-relationship-like feeling this scenario is. Tyson’s eyes drift from where they’re focused on your eyes to your lips, before he’s scratching the back of his head, a sign of nervousness you’ve quickly caught on to.
“Goodnight, Tyson,” you smile softly, leaning up on your sock clad toes to wrap your arms around his neck and give him a hug. His arms wrap around your middle; his back bending over at an awkward angle to properly reach you. You breathe in his musky scent as his hands spread out over the small of your back. The scruffiness of his beard against the side of your face has you giggling as you pull away. 
“Goodnight, y/n,” Tyson reciprocates your smile, walking a few steps backwards before finally turning around and heading to the elevator. Your eyes linger on his toned thighs and maybe even his butt under the cotton of his joggers as he walks the all too familiar way hockey players walk, before finally entering your apartment.
JT’s sitting on your couch this time around, rather than you sitting on his, a too large glass of wine perched in his hand as the two of you catch up. He’s been busy with morning skates and a string of back-to-backs with a road game sprinkled in the middle. It’s getting to be that part of the season where it’s ‘all gas, no breaks’ as he likes to say. They had an earlier than normal game today due to it being a national broadcast on a Sunday, so the two of you ordered take out from one of your usual spots and parked your asses on your couch for the night.
“I feel like we haven’t had best friend time in so long,” JT groans, sipping down the remnants of his wine before standing up for a refill.
“Not all of us can travel the continent on a regular basis,” you chirp with a laugh, one JT matches. The tv show murmurs in the background, it’s one you completely forgot about as JT relates stories and updates on his sisters to you.
“I still can’t believe Jesse graduates soon,” JT starts. “Like, soon when we go to Boston it won’t be the annual family trip since two of the kids are actually in the same city for a change.”
“But that’s so awesome for her, you have to remember that. How’s her season going?”
“They’re doing good, winning games and taking names, she’s really stepped into her captaincy role.” The smile on JT’s face is contagious, causing you to mirror it. You had only met his family a handful of times, only whenever they made the trip out to Denver every now and then. His sister’s, even if you didn’t talk to them regularly, were like your own at this point. JT loved to joke that you were the third sister he never wanted but still somehow ended up with. It was part of the reason he was always trying to set you up with his friends, because to him, if he already knew them, then he knew he trusted them with you. It was more of a joke when it first started over a year ago, but the guy’s he mentioned started to become more serious considerations on your end before you ended up always telling him no.
You were more than okay with being single, being independent, being a woman that never looked for male validation and instead lived life purely for yourself and the people you choose to include with you in that life. JT understood that more than anyone else, that’s why the thoughts you consistently had about Tyson were being shoved deep down inside of you in fear that JT would laugh at the idea and tell you not a chance in hell. It’s why those times you caught each other staring you never did anything about it, or how JT was still unbeknownst to the close friendship you started with him.
It’s why now there’s a silence between the two of you as you take a too-long sip of your wine, a way to stall before opening your mouth and getting JT’s opinion on all of this. You set your glass down on your thigh, your spare hand running along the stem of the glass as you start to speak, avoiding looking over at JT as you do so,
“You know how I don’t date or whatever,” you start, your lip caught between your teeth. You glance over at the redhead on the other couch, seeing him knit his eyebrows as he sets his phone down next to him.
“Yeah,” he draws out, confusion laced in his tone
“Well, I was thinking of maybe getting back out there or something,” you shrug your shoulders, unsure of how to really continue this conversation so you end up on the topic of Tyson being that someone you get back out there with.
“Did someone ask you out?” JT immediately asks with a shake of his head, wondering where all of this is coming from. His full attention is on you now and there’s no way to avoid his eyes as you respond.
“No, I was just thinking about it, I don’t know.”
“Did you, like, have someone in mind?” JT asks, the definitive knit in his forehead still there.
You purse your lips in thought. This would be the time to drop his teammate’s name you think to yourself. His name is heavy on your tongue as you take one more sip of your drink, “Tyson’s kinda cute.”
You say it simply, with a shrug in your shoulders, hoping the ease of your posture radiates towards JT. It doesn’t, just as you expect, a choked out cackle leaving his lips, before he says a harsh ‘no’. The comment deflates you, the knot in your stomach only tightening, mainly because you weren’t really asking him a question and just trying to get that thought out into the open for the first time. JT doesn’t read that as you respond back, telling him was just a thought anyways.
You drop it at that, thoughts running through your head of your close friendship with his teammate, one that’s very close to blurring that line between just friends and something more. It's a problem for another day you think, shoving the thought to the back of your mind as Tyson’s name flashes across your phone screen.
A few more weeks pass of Tyson and you hanging out at JT’s apartment, only for Tyson to follow you to your own apartment before he’d leave for the rink for his game. He slowly began going through his pre-game routine at your place, only to leave with JT under the guise that they would carpool together since his apartment building was on his way to Ball Arena.
Tyson’s cooking his pregame meal in your kitchen, something he had yet to do but when you had told him you had never eaten squash the other day, he made a point to make it his favorite way, even if it meant eating dinner at 4:30. His game day suit was hanging by his coat in your coat closet, you wouldn’t tell him but it was your favorite suit of his. The navy cashmere made the highlights in his dark brown hair pop out and was a nice contrast to his tan skin. He was taking the squash out of the oven, laughing as you made yet another comment on not knowing that was how a squash was cooked.
“What does a squash even taste like?” You ask, peering over the kitchen table to watch him as he places the pan onto the oven to cool down. The bright yellow and oranges of the fruit freak you out a bit, but the smell of garlic and parmesan cheese brings a smile to your face.
“It’s like earthy and nutty, I don’t know. I’m not a Food Network chef.”
The comment has you rolling your eyes with a laugh as you stand up from your chair to retrieve plates and silverware. 
“What are you doing?” Tyson asks with a whip of his head as his eyes follow your movements.
You look at him quizzically, pausing your movements on your tippy toes as you reach for the dinner plates, “setting the table?”
“I can do that,” Tyson starts, reaching out for the plates in your hand and setting them on the counter in front of you. “I’m the one cooking.”
“Exactly,” you reason, “And this is my apartment so I know where everything is.”
“I’m wining and dining you, well minus the wine since I have a game.” Tyson shrugs, tending to the squash on the pan and the veggies surrounding it. “That reminds me, the guys are going out after the game, you should come.”
You move around the kitchen as he speaks, filling up two glasses of water to set on the table. He plates the food as he finishes speaking and sets them on the table. It looks colorful and delicious and you’re shocked he can cook something that seems so complicated, especially since you know JT can only cook a burger and some random pasta dish.
“Well, I am going to the game so I don’t see why not,” you finally answer. You hadn’t gone out in weeks it seemed like, mainly due to your earlier than normal mornings and that you were the only single one out of most of your friends. All of your coworkers lived with their partners and were usually the type to bail on a night out so they could stay home. The few single friends you did have lived on completely different schedules than you, so they were either getting home late from work which was around the same time you’d need to call it a night, or were like you and too worried about early mornings to do anything.
But it was a Thursday, and you had taken the weekend off so it was a perfect time to catch your first Avs game of the season, even if it was already a few days into March and the season was halfway over. The both of you eat your dinner with a few laughs, Tyson telling you about how he forced himself to learn to cook over the past two years of living by himself. He even shared a few horror stories of when he lived with JT and Kerf, giving you plenty of dirt to use as blackmail if necessary. 
“Dinner was really good, thank you,” you acknowledge standing up and grabbing his plate from him.
“You liked the squash, eh?”
“It wasn’t too bad,” you reply playfully. He knew you liked it with how quickly you scarfed it down and the profuse compliments you offered him. As you clear off the dishes and load the dishwasher, Tyson disappears down the hall only to reappear dressed in his suit, save for the jacket and tie. 
“Who are you sitting with tonight? I never asked.” Tyson speaks, making the job of tying his tie look easy as he’s not even looking in the mirror to do so.
“Oh, my coworker, Amelia, and her girlfriend, Gabby,” you respond, leaning back against the counter as you watch Tyson finish up with the details of his suit like putting his cufflinks on and checking his hair in the mirror by your front door.
For a reason Tyson knows too well but ignores, a weight falling off his shoulders as he hears you saying you’re not going with a potential date. But then again, he knows you’re not dating and you more than likely would’ve declined his offer to go out afterward if that were the case. Tyson checks his watch for the time, seeing it’s about time to knock on JT’s door to grab him.
“So, I’ll see you after the game, yeah?”
“Yep, I’ll meet you and JT down by the locker rooms so we can all head out together. Maybe I’ll finally get to meet the infamous Cale.”
The Avs scoot by with a tough division win, one that’s needed to put them in first place in the Central by two points. You’re standing in the hallway of the locker rooms among the other WAG’s that you don’t really recognize due to your lack of knowledge on who’s who. Your nose is buried deep in your phone as you shoot off a text to Amelia telling her to let you know when she gets home safely when you recognize Tyson’s familiar Canadian accent followed by JT’s booming laughter. The two of them reach you, both of them giving you quick hugs before walking to the parking garage.
“Who’s jersey you got on there?” Tyson asks with a nudge of his shoulder into yours. You look down at the 19 stitched into your shoulder with a smirk.
“Only the best Av to ever play the game,” you respond, to which JT rolls his eyes. Tyson’s look of confusion doesn’t change as you answer, still pretty keen to the fact that you’ve never really talked hockey with him besides the stories about practices he’d share with you. “Never told you I didn’t like hockey, just said I never went to games.”
“I’ve tried to get her one of my jerseys and she literally told me she’d return it,” JT interrupts before Tyson can respond. You open your mouth to chirp him back but before you can, JT is calling shotgun once Tyson’s car is in view.
The bar isn’t as packed as you thought it would be, given half of the Avalanche roster was occupying more than a few booths. Andre takes a seat across from where you’re sandwiched between JT and Tyson - a seating arrangement you’re not sure how you got in.
The first round of drinks slowly turns into the third, and you’re no longer squished between two bruly hockey players since JT has found a home at the pool table with Nate and Naz. You had finally met Cale, the blush on cheeks matching Tyson’s description of them. You shared book recommendations with one another while Tyson had wandered off to the bar. It’s then you learn that Tyson’s kind of taken him under his wing, despite the very small age gap and that they live in the same building. Your eyes catch him as he chats with the bartender and a dirty blonde that’s close to his height that you very much did not recognize.
She’s all legs and has an award winning smile from what you see from fifteen away. Tyson’s turned away from you, his back facing you, and if you could see his face filled with that smile that’s showing he’s just trying to be polite to the stranger.
It’s then that you start to fully allow yourself to notice not only the physical attraction you feel towards your new friend, but the emotional one as well. It’s not overwhelming by any means, but the pit in your stomach can only be described as jealousy — a feeling you don’t have much experience with. 
You see two new glasses being set in front of them at the same time, assuming that Tyson had bought the stranger a drink. That pit in your stomach only tightens, the smile on your face from Cale’s story falling as you continue to watch them interact. 
The pair only talk for a few minutes before the girl walks away, a defeated look on her face. With he departure, you make your way across the hardwood floor to meet him at the bar, nudging his side lightly as you mirrored his stance. He smiled as you greeted him, noting that this was the first time in hours he got you all to himself. You were just as outgoing as he and JT were, always butting into conversations when you had something to say. 
“I never asked if you had fun at the game,” he asks, voice somehow still soft even in the loudness of the bar. His voice raises goosebumps on your arms, as you hum before responding.
“It was fun, definitely a good game, just a little too much third wheeling for my liking but I’ll take what I can get.”
The comment is a nod to the feeling Tyson knows all too well, one the two of you seem to always share funny stories about with a dramatic use of eye rolls. You ignore the fact that not even a few minutes prior you were plotting that girl’s death, too busy and entranced with Tyson’s presence.
The night continues to pass with just the two of you in your own little world. You find yourself up on your tiptoes, an arm resting on his muscular bicep as you lean up to speak into his ear. His lips move alongside your temple as he speaks, the scruff of his beard against your forehead causing you to giggle. You’re not even sure if JT or any of the other guys are even still around, but your bubble pops as JT calls your name. You turn your body towards the ginger, your hand on Tyson’s bicep not moving as he says that you two should find an Uber soon.
“Okay, yeah, sure. I’ll be out in a sec, Tyson was just telling me a story,” you let him know. JT knits his eyebrows at the comment but walks outside with a few of the other guys all heading home.
“How are you getting home?” You ask Tyson once you’re face to face with him again.
“Cale and I are gonna Uber back, too,” Tyson answers, his tongue swiping over his lips slowly. Your eyes watch his movement as time seems to slow down as the two of you keep your eyes focused on the others. His eyes are squintier than normal from the alcohol and you’re yours match his in that regard. You’re pretty sure he’s about to kiss you and for once, you’re actually going to let that person kiss you.
Tyson’s eyes flick behind you momentarily before you see his body semi-deflate. He steps away, your hand falling off his bicep for the first time in at least an hour as he picks up his blazer that’s draped over the stool next to him and nods towards the door.
“I think JT’s looking for you.”
Sure enough when you turn around, JT is in the doorway waving his phone in the air and pointing at it, silently telling you that the Uber is almost here. Your shoulders fall as the moment you were sure was about to happen is ruined. Tyson walks you out of the bar, into the brisk start of Spring air. You’re too busy thinking about how you most definitely would’ve let Tyson kiss you and next thing you know, your foot is slipping on the ice and you’re yelping in surprise.
Tyson catches your waist before you can even hit the cold pavement, and again, you’ve found yourself in a compromising position as Tyson’s face is mere inches from yours. You blink away the embarrassment as JT’s comment about your almost accident goes unnoticed by the both of you. You regather your stance, muttering a quiet thank you to the brunette before hugging him and waving goodbye with a soft smile.
“Dude,” Cale chastises, “You like her don’t you?”
The comment made by his building-mate has him stuttering over his words, trying to figure out an answer that’s not a straight up lie. Cale takes that as his answer, though, rolling his eyes with a heavy sigh as the two find their Uber.
“Does JT know?”
“No, because nothing’s going to happen,” Tyson answers curtly as he slumps his shoulders in his seat. “JT told me I couldn't try anything and I’m going to try and respect that. Besides, she doesn’t date so it’s not like I have a real shot or anything.”
“I don’t know, man. She seemed to jump out of her seat and end our conversation when she saw you talking to that girl.”
Cale’s comment silences the two of them for the remainder of the ride back to their building. Tyson hadn’t really paid mind to the fact that the second that girl left, you had appeared and stayed by his side for the remainder of the night. He brushes it off, blaming his inebriated mind for the overthinking before asking Cale how they’ll get his car in the morning.
Tyson wakes up to his phone dinging with a string of texts from you, a smile on his face when sees your name across his screen.
y/n: not sure what you did to me last night but this is the most hungover ive been in forever y/n: thank god i dont have work y/n: jt is still sleeping so im thinking of ditching him to go get breakfast y/n: you in? Tyson: im down Tyson: do you think we could swing by to get my car from the bar too? was gonna have cale drive me but if you can that’d be great
Getting ready for breakfast feels all too real as you do your hair and pick out an outfit before finally brushing your teeth. You tap your fingers an obnoxious amount of times against your steering wheel as you drive to Tyson’s apartment, your lip stuck between your teeth as you softly sing along to the songs flowing through your speakers.
Sitting across from him in the diner feels a little bit suffocating, the events of last night replaying in your mind. The path your eyes follow tends to keep going to his lips before you realize what you’re doing and snapping them right back up to his eyes or to the coffee in your hand. Those lips you sure you were close to kissing last night. He orders some obnoxiously healthy omelette bowl with enough eggs and potatoes on it to feed a house of four, while you get classic french toast.
You don’t miss that opportunity to chirp him, the weight finally off your shoulders as you lighten the mood. Tyson never really caught onto your weirdness, thinking it was some side effect of your hangover. 
“Is french toast your favorite food or something?” Tyson asks, mouth a little full as he finishes chewing. You knit your eyebrows in confusion, partly because yes, it is your favorite breakfast food, but why would he think that if he’s only ever seen you eat it right now in this very moment? He sees your confusion, answering your question before you can even ask it.
“You got french toast that one time we went out with JT and Sydney.”
“Oh, it is, actually,” it dawns on you then, even though that morning was over a month ago at this point. It’s sweet that he remembers that, your neck warming at his comment.
“It’s not a big deal,” Tyson shrugs, shoving another forkful of egg into his mouth. And shit, did you actually say that out loud to him? That misstep has your neck heating up even further as you take a large swig of your coffee, mainly so the large mug blocks your face from him.
“Besides,” Tyson starts with a heavy laugh. “You just about inhaled that from what I remember, so it has to be your favorite.”
You drop your jaw in shock from his very true accusation, a slight laugh coming out, “You’re a dick.”
“Hey, at least I’m a dick that paid for your meal,” Tyson acknowledges in a lighthearted tone. You smile at him at that, him sending you one right back. “And before you say you can pay for this one, this is that meal I promised you a while back when we made brownies.”
It dawns on you then, was this a date? Did you accidentally on purpose ask Tyson out on a date? Tyson can sense the wheels turning in your head and drops that topic, instead telling you all about this new artist he’s found on Spotify.
That day’s a turning point for your relationship with Tyson. You end up following him back to his place then, a strange sense of deja vu coming through. The rest of the day is spent shaking your respected hangovers on his couch, your feet perched on his lap, his body naturally leaning towards yours.
Your head’s full of what ifs as you drive the short way back to your apartment, thoughts surrounding the feelings you’ve been ignoring when it comes to why Tyson looks at you the way he does or why he’s always sending you Tik Tok’s about your newfound inside jokes. Your friendship with him is easy, he’s an easy guy to catch feelings for and an even easier guy to fully allow yourself to do that with.
The thought of your friendship with JT clouds your thoughts, though. Unsure of what you should even do considering how quickly he shot you down when all you said was that his friend was cute. You don’t think much of it, knowing that the feelings that are starting to show need to be reciprocated for you to even face that next set of problems.
Soon you’re catching yourself focusing on the number 17 jersey skating around the ice instead of 37 when you have the time to watch their games. Tyson’s eyes are the ones you’re always finding in a room and he’s the one always refilling your drink without a thought. He’s the one you text after a particularly rough day, and he does the same when the Avs snap their eight game winning record. He’s slowly taking that spot as your best friend over from his teammate, a spot you’re sure is slowly turning into more.
It’s another one of those nights where he’s the one you're constantly looking for. This time back at Andre’s apartment with the guys and few significant others as you celebrate yet another Avalanche playoff berth.
You’re drinking far less than the crowd surrounding you, fully buzzed on the atmosphere that is clinching the number one seed in the division with still so much time left in the season. Unlike the group of people that have the day off the next day, you have work, but the thought of missing this night for your two best friend’s wasn’t an option when Tyson texted you as soon as he made it to the locker room after the game was won. Tyson’s hand seems to never be empty, but you soon learn he’s been nursing the same beer since he got to Andre’s. There’s a heavy feeling of contentment washing over him as he celebrates his fourth straight playoff appearance, alongside setting a Central Division record for the fastest team to clinch.
The air between you two has that same fuzzy feeling it’s had for a few weeks now, ever since you had gone out to breakfast with him hungover. The high from the win still filling his veins, that same high radiating towards you as you continually find your way back to his side throughout the night.
Tyson catches you slipping out the door as the sun is just about finished setting and follows you a moment later. You’re leaning against the railing with your arms folded atop of it. It’s the easiest thing in the world for Tyson to step in behind you and place his hands on either side of yours, bracketing you against the cool metal. 
The wind blows through your hair, causing you to push some strands back behind your ears as you breathe heavily with Tyson’s new presence.
“You doing alright out here?”’ Tyson asks, one of his laying to rest on top of yours, you fingers interlocking with his.
“Yeah, just wanted to take advantage of Andre’s view,” you respond. Andre’s place had everything, the view of downtown Denver, the suburbs stretching outside of the skyscrapers, but he also had the best view of the mountains you had seen from a complex downtown.
The silence continues between the two of you, the sound of the Denver traffic beneath you filling it out. Tyson’s chest moves behind you with a heavy breath before breaking that silence,
“I talked to my mom this morning.”
“Yeah? How is she?”
“She’s good, but, uh, I called her to tell her about this girl,” he trails off, his chest inflating behind you again as the nerves start to tighten in his stomach. You remain silent, there’s an unspoken understanding that this is something he’s been wanting to get off his chest, something that you too feel the weight of.
“I wanted to tell her about this girl and ask her for advice because it’s complicated since she’s best friends with my best friend who’s also my teammate and I didn’t know if I should put my feelings aside for the sake of my friendship or if I shouldn’t let my friend telling me I couldn’t ask her out stand in the way of my feelings for her.”
Your breath hitches in your throat, the sudden knowledge of the weight his words have. His grip around you had tightened as he spoke, causing you to turn around in his arms slower than you would’ve liked to as your eyes find his. His hands move from the railing to rest on your hips, his grip a little tight yet still soft. Your fingers toy with the hem of his cotton t-shirt, one that accentuates his arms more than you’d like to admit.
You’re not naive, you know that this is that tipping point in your friendship that you’ve been avoiding, yet at the same time anxiously waiting for. He’s right there in front of you, all wide eyed with that playful little glimmer in his eyes and that smile that’s always plastered on his face when he’s with you. It’s the confidence in his smile as he speaks that contradicts the doubt in his eyes and the understanding he has where he knows he needs to take this all slow. He’s not just trying to win you over or get you to bed, he’s trying to show you that he’s what you deserve, that the feelings brewing inside your stomach are two sided.
All of those things are conveyed in the little things and how he hasn’t made any unwarranted moves on you and how he’s always reading the situation before trying anything.
It makes you truly let the feelings you have bubble to the surface as you open your mouth to finally respond, “I don’t think you should ignore your feelings.”
It comes out as a whisper, one where the breaths of air hit Tyson in the chin from how close you two are standing. Nothing else needs to be said, your heart racing in your chest at that first admittance of feelings. Tyson searches your eyes for any sense of doubt, making sure he’s interpreting your words correctly. His hand moves to the junction of your neck, his thumb brushing against the hollow of your cheek. Your hands trail up his sides, brushing the stray curl that’s fallen onto his forehead back in place. He leans into your touch, his nose softly brushing against yours as you close your eyes. His breath fans over your mouth and the hair on his upper lip tickles you before his lips are landing on yours. It’s slow and soft and full of fire as you kiss him back.
You pull apart breathless a few moments later, a smile on your face as you bite your lip. His smile is wider than yours, a sense of smugness behind it. His lips find their way to your forehead, placing a soft, lingering kiss there as he wraps his arms around your body and pulls you tightly to him. A few more heavy breaths are shared before his fingers trail back to your jaw, his thumb running over your bottom lip before pulling you in for another kiss.
His touches are welcome and the chill you felt earlier is gone with his presence, your stomach tightening in a million knots at the man standing before you. Everything he feels is portrayed in his soft eyes and those several moments over the past couple of months where it was just the two of you, getting to know one another much more than you thought you ever would with one of JT’s teammates. The space he gave you as he let you explain your fascination with living the life you did, one with no obsession with social media or what other people thought and one where you carefully curated the people you choose to surround yourself with.
Tyson had slowly worked his way into your heart, one that now had his name written all over it. You smile at the thought, still lost in chocolatey, brown eyes and the way he’s looking at you like the gorgeous view of the Smoky Mountains isn’t right behind you.
“We should go back inside,” you say, breaking the little bubble the two of you had just created. Tyson understands, knowing where the two of you were, knowing who’s just on the other side of the door. Neither of you make any moves to go back inside, and you bask in the cool weather, enjoying the other’s warmth before finally opening the door to the rowdiness that is a bunch of professional hockey players.
JT beckons for you when he sees you come back inside, too drunk to ask where you’ve been for the past fifteen minutes. He’s dragging you to the kitchen, begging you with his eyes to make the room a round of drinks. Tyson smiles at you from a few feet away, silently telling you he’ll find you eventually. He does, making his way to you when everyone’s drink needs are met, his presence causing your stomach to tighten even if he is standing a few feet away from you. 
Both of you lay off the drinks for the rest of the night, already tipsy enough from your drinks earlier and in a silent agreement that there’s more to talk about between the two of you once the crowd thins and everyone's on their way home. JT disappears into thin air it seems like until he’s practically yelling that he’s called an Uber for you two.
“I think I’m actually gonna stay for a little longer,” you answer, eyes drifting over to where Tyson is talking with Cale and Andre. He sees you glance over at him, sending a smile right back your way causing you to blush before telling JT he’s fine to head home and that you’ll text him when you get home.
The room starts to clear out after that, Andre’s front door opening and closing every few minutes as Uber’s are called and before you know it you’re in the back of a Kia Sorento, laughing at the lie Tyson told Cale that led to him getting an Uber by himself and your hands tightly intertwined on your lap.
You find out a few months later that he didn’t lie, he just told him that he had finally gotten the nerve to kiss you.
The elevator ride up to his apartment is full of giggles, those giggles only continuing as he fumbles through unlocking his front door. He tells you to stop making fun of him under his breath, a blush spreading from the tips of his ears to his nose.
He’s pulling you inside once the door is unlocked, causing you to lose your balance from the pull. Your laughs quiet down as he stares down at you, that smile you're familiar with nowhere to be found as he licks his lips. He’s pulling you in with those big, brown eyes of his and then you’re kissing him wildly, barely a few feet into his home.
“We should talk about this,” you mutter against his lips, not fully wanting to break away from him. He’s connecting your lips before you can continue, too addicted to the feeling of finally having his lips on yours.
“What is there to talk about?”
“Us, what this is,” you respond between kisses.
Tyson pulls away this time, resting his forehead against yours. He knows the logistics of all of this needs to be worked out, but right now he doesn’t want to think about how he’s making out with JT’s neighbor or his inevitable murder if JT finds out before one of you can tell him.
“Let’s worry about the consequences tomorrow, because right now I can’t keep my hands off of you,” he reasons, dipping his head down to place his lips right below your jaw. “And if the way you’re kissing me is any sign, then I’d say we’re on the same page about how we feel.”
You moan as Tyson’s teeth nip at the skin, his tongue poking past his lips out onto your neck and goosebumps are popping up all along your skin.
You give into him then, too intoxicated in his warmth and the taste of Bud Light on his mouth. It’s a conversation for you in the morning when you’re both nursing your hangovers over a cup of coffee. Your lips move along his hungrily, his hands gripping your face before sliding down your sides and squeezing your ass through your jeans. You tug your fingers through the long curls behind his ears, him pushing you against the nearest wall with a thud and a rattle of a picture frame.
Your lips move along his softly, the passion and fire laced in it enough to cause a wave of electricity through your veins and down to in between your thighs. He’s towering over you with his big personality and his wide shoulders and you feel like you need to get impossibly closer to him as you pull him in by the fabric of his t-shirt. His hands fall to the wall on either side of your head.
“God, I’m never gonna stop kissing you,” Tyson huffs out, causing a quick chuckle to run through your body. It’s quick because as soon as the words are out of Tyson’s mouth, his lips are already back on yours.
“You’re gonna have to stop kissing me if you want to fuck me,” you mutter out, a sly smirk on your lips as you watch Tyson’s eyes grow darker at the insuination. The hands that were bracketing you against the wall slide down to your jaw, his thumb running over your bottom lip again before pushing past your lips. You keep your eyes on his as you suck on the digit, your tongue swirling around it. His resolve slips away from you for a moment, before his other hand drags down your side until his fingers push under your top, the warm fingers ghosting over the skin of your ribs.
His breath is heavy against you, the growing bulge causing his jeans to tighten around him. You’re feeling bold then, as you feel him against your stomach with his thumb still in your mouth and his hand tight around your jaw. He’s frozen in front of you as he watches your eyes, that stupid smirk finally wiped off his face as your hands move under his shirt, your nails scraping against the tight muscles. You hold back both a comment about his abs and a moan at the feeling, all the hard work he’s put into his body clearly paying off as you push his shirt up his chest and over his head.
Your nails drag back down his chest and torso before looping in the waistband of the boxers peeking out from his jeans. His thumb falls from your mouth, the wet digit leaving a trail of your saliva on your chin as you work on pulling his jeans down. His head tips back with a low groan as his member springs free and you sink down to your knees, his hand finding purchase on the back of your head while the other is used to brace himself against the wall.
Tyson sucks in a breath as your hand reaches out to grip the base of his cock, tugging softly a few times as you lick the tip. His mouth waters at the sight of your lips wrapping around the head, your eyes looking right back up at him. You hum around him as you swallow him down, the vibrations causing a groan to escape from Tyson’s mouth. He feels euphoric, even if you haven’t had your mouth on him for more than 60 seconds. His hips involuntarily thrust forward at the wet feeling your mouth gives as you hollow your cheeks around him. 
Tyson continued to moan above you as you moved your mouth along him, both of your hands digging into the flesh of his thighs. Tyson’s hand is heavy on the back of your head, not using it to push you deeper onto him, but to ground him as he starts to see stars embarrassingly fast in his eyes.
He pulls you off him then, pulling you up to your feet to stand in front of him once again. There’s a dribble of saliva mixed with his pre-cum on your chin and he wipes it away with his thumb before pulling you in for another harsh kiss. He pushes the two of them to his bedroom, never breaking the kiss as he sheds your shirt and pushes you down onto his bed. You giggle again, the hunger in his eyes all too real as he crawls over your body until he’s hovering over you.
“You’re so fucking beautfiul,” he whispers into your ear, causing shivers to shoot down your body. He runs his hands along your bare sides up to your breasts as he kisses down your neck. His hands brush along your lace covered nipples, making you sharply inhale a breath and arch your back against him. He pulls the fabric down to expose your breasts, his lips still nipping at the skin on your collarbone. He looks down at you again, a sensual look in his eyes that you mirror. His lips attach to one of your nipples, the other being tended to by his fingers as twists and pulls the bud between his thumb and forefinger.
Your hands find purchase in the curls atop his head, pulling at the strands as he breathes a huff of cool air onto your npple before switching to the other one. He makes his way down your body painfully slow, a trail of kisses being left down your stomach until he reaches the waistband of your jeans. He tugs them off just as quickly as he stripped you from your shirt, his eyes locking on the sage green thong you’re wearing and the very obvious wet patch between your legs. He’s impatient from the brief blowjob you gave him and the fact that he’s been imaging this exact moment for far too long now. His fingers dip into the strap of your underwear, his eyes finding yours and asking if this is okay. You respond with a resounding yes as he pulls the underwear off of you.
His lips leave kisses along your thighs, throwing them over his shoulders as his mouth finally makes his way to your center. His beard is rough against the skin of your thighs, a sensation only causing you to whine as he breathes over your clit.
“Tyson,” you whine, causing him to smirk before pressing his tongue to your entrance. The cool, wetness of his tongue has you catching your breath and fisting the sheets underneath you. Tyson moaned against you at the taste as he licked over you a few more times. His lips wrap around your clit, this time causing a full, throaty moan to release from your mouth. One of your hands found its way to his head, holding him impossibly closer to you, the other finding his hand as he interlocks your fingers together.
His tongue dives into your opening, fucking into you as his other arm wraps around your thigh so he can rub his thumb at your clit. His tongue licked around you entrance, alternating between that and fucking into you. His thumb stayed on your clit, rubbing circles hoping to get you to that tipping point, the one you felt nearing with every pass of his tongue over you. Your back arched off the bed, your hips pushing further into Tyson’s face as you felt your high near. Tyson continued at the same pace, pushing you over the edge as you moaned out his name.
He continued to lick softly at you, his thumb slowing down on your clit as he lifted his head up to kiss at your collarbone. The kisses he leaves along your inner thighs gives you time to catch your breathing, your chest still heaving from your orgasm. It’s short lived as his thumb on your clit slides down to your entrance, spreading your wetness around before pushing a finger into you. 
His lips make their way back to your clit with the same smirk he had on his face a few minutes ago, wrapping his lips around the bud as he moves he added another finger. You clench down him at the feeling, moans and heavy breaths of air escaping your mouth as Tyson worked his fingers against your g-spot and his mouth worked over your clit. Your hand squeezes his, the pressure becoming too much so soon after your first orgasm. It doesn’t take long for you to groan out his name again as you clench down on his fingers, your second orgasm rushing through you.
He stays down there a moment longer, but you pull him up by his hair, just wanting his lips on yours and his body hovering over you. His beard is wet from both his spit and your juices, and it has you licking your lips and craning your neck upwards. You pull him in with both of your hands, licking into his mouth and tasting yourself on him.
The kiss is heavy, his hands running along your body trying to memorize every dip and curve, the heavy weight of his member on your hip. His curls tickled your forehead, the kiss turning soft as he splayed a hand on your cheek to pull you in tighter. The head of his dick brushed over your mound, a shiver running through you at the feelings, your hips bucking up towards his with a small whine.
You reach your hand down between your bodies to tug on him softly, a whine leaving Tyson’s lips, one that’s swallowed by your kisses. It’s unspoken between the two of you as pulls away from you, only to push your hand away from him and give himself a few tugs as he settles heavily between your thighs.
You share a look, one that’s gleeful and full of smiles as he licks his lips and slowly pushes into you. You moan and whimper at the feeling of him inside of you, your hands clawing at his shoulder blades to pull his body flush against your own.
“You good?” He asks, referring to if you’re ready for him to start moving.
“Yeah,” you whine, looking into his eyes smiling, “I’m good.”
There’s a pause as you answer, both of you understanding the double-meaning behind your answer. It’s more than just telling him you feel good physically, but that you feel more than that when he’s with you.
He leans in to kiss you again, starting a slow pace as he thrusts into you. He moaned out at how tight you were, how well you were taking him as he kissed you. He picked up his pace, thrusting into you harder and faster, with more purpose as he rested on his elbows above you, looking into your eyes. You always got lost in those eyes of his, as he hit your g-spot you tilted your head back, your eyes fluttering closed. They weren’t closed for long as Tyson grabbed your chin, forcing you to look at him once again.
“I wanna look at you,” he muttered as he leaned back down to kiss you. Your moans filled the room as the layer of sweat started to thicken on your bodies, his chest rubbing against yours. He lifted your thigh and pushed it against your chest, the new angle causing the knots to tighten in your stomach as you felt you high nearing. Your lips found their way to his neck and down to the dips of his collarbone. Biting down into the flesh as you moan out again, Tyson’s pace quickening as he feels you clenching around him.
“I’m so close,” you moan out, Tyson hitting you deeply. He could feel himself getting close too, his hips starting to stutter as he moved inside of you. Your breasts bouncing as he pounds into you, your eyes screwing shut as your orgasm starts to wash over you. Tyson swallows your moans as he kisses you through your third orgasm.
His breaths are heavy as his orgasm comes soon after yours, spilling into you as he slows his pace down and gently lowers his body weight onto yours. You two stay like that for a few moments, catching your breaths and basking in that post-sex afterglow. He removes himself once you’ve both settled, a whimper leaving your mouth at the newfound emptiness. He disappears to his bathroom, coming right back with a washcloth as he cleans you up. You thank him as he runs the cool, wet cloth over the insides of your thighs, pulling him back for another quick kiss before he disappears into the bathroom once more.
When he gets back, he lays down next to you, pulling your body snug against his. His chest is warm and still a little sticky from the sweat. Your fingers draw aimless patterns along his bare chest, his lips leaving a soft kiss on your forehead and you feel the upturn of his lips when he pulls away. You smile up at him then, leaning up and puckering your lips, asking for a kiss. He obliges with a soft hum and rubs your arm gently before you’re falling asleep against him, a few drops of drool falling onto his chest.
The morning rolls around too quickly for your liking, the curls on Tyson’s head ticking the back of your neck. Neither of you are in a rush to move as he smiles against the bare skin of your back, a few kisses being placed there as you hum and hold his arms tighter to your torso. He’s up from bed moments later, a sweet kiss lingering on your lips as you watch his naked form emerge from bed and pull on a pair of sweats. Your eyes watch over the ripples of muscles between his shoulder blades, down his back and over his ass before he’s running around his apartment in search of your thong.
He remerges with it draped over his finger, a smirk on his lips before he flings it at you, causing a giggle to erupt from your stomach. You pull them on, a large t-shirt being tossed your way to drape over your shoulders. You follow him out to his kitchen then, a small pit in your stomach at the realization of the conversation that needs to be had, the small bubble you’re in at its popping point.
You jump onto his island counter, the coolness of the granite sending shivers down your bare legs, his back to you as he starts the coffee pot. He’s just in a pair of sweats, bright red lines on display on his back. You squeeze your legs together as you cross them, the actions of your late night antics running vividly through your mind.
He presses the warm mug into your hands, his now free hand pushing open your legs to step between them. He’s so close then, probably the closest you’ve really been to him with a sober brain. The heat from his torso radiates towards you, warming not only your skin but your insides as well as you smile at him. He’s still got that wide, goofy smile plastered on his face, the one you’ve grown to love and to look forward to seeing.
Tyson’s hands move to rest on the counter on either side of you, the close proximity between your faces causes you to set your mug down and move your hands to his shoulders.
“What’s going through your mind, pretty girl?” The new pet name has you mentally squealing, your chest tightening as your cheeks heat up.
“Just how last night I was so adamant to talk about everything, but now I’m not so sure I want to break our little bubble,” you start, the huff of breath air coming out softly as you avoid his eye contact, even if he is a few inches away from your face.
It’s hard to concentrate on relaying your feelings to him and fully opening up to a man for the first time in a long time with him standing right there in front of you, in all his shirtless glory — the defined lines of his pecs and abs, the veins protruding from his arms, and the few purple bruises you’d left on the dips of his collarbones. It’s always been hard to think straight around him, you realize, with the way his presence gives you a comforting buzz and that warm, fuzzy feeling in your stomach.
Tyson’s quiet as he watches over you, he licks his lips in thought, a silent hum of agreement coming out. He’s in the exact same boat, the outcome of this conversation not one he’s too scared of, knowing that the way he feels is reciprocated, but rather what the next step is with the best friend you two share. He’s leaning closer into you, a small smile as he places another soft kiss on your lips. It’s one you get lost in, gentle and blissful as your lips move slowly against his. He pulls away first, something he wasn’t able to do last night, before finally being able to put his thoughts into words.
“I just want to make sure we’re on the same page with this. We’re taking a big risk doing this behind JT’s back and I want you to know, no matter what, the risk is worth it with you,” he starts, voice soft and still scratchy from the morning. “And I know you don’t date because you put yourself first and if that’s what you want to do then I’m okay with that, too.”
Your heart melts at the words, your hands cradling his face. Tyson’s always been better with words and feelings than you have over your short friendship with him. The metaphorical door is already wide open in front of you, it’s just a matter of taking that one more small step through it with Tyson, or shutting it and never turning back.
“I don’t date because most people don’t like having independent girls as their girlfriend’s. I put time into myself to be the best person I can be, not only for myself but for others and they don’t like that stuff,” you start to explain, your hands falling from his face to hold both of his hands. “I like you, a lot, Tys, and I want to be with you.”
He smiles wildly at that, the doubt draining from his eyes as he opens his mouth to respond.
You interrupt him though, with a huff of air as you continue speaking, “But JT’s my best friend and I don’t want to hurt him either.”
And Tyson fully understands where you’re coming from, because he’s been struggling with that for the past few months ever since he met you. He thinks back to that conversation on the plane all that time ago and how JT firmly told him to not try anything, but now as he really thinks about it, he’s not sure he meant it because of him and that it was more so because he cared for you and didn’t want to see you get hurt in general.
You can see in his eyes that same wide open door you’re thinking about, the one where you get to explore a relationship with the quirky, optimistic, competitive guy in front of you. The guy that matches your level of confidence as you, the guy that lets you be stubborn and lets you live out that stubbornness because he’s the most patient person you’ve ever met.
The decision’s easy as he stands in front of you, putting the ball in your court, your lip caught between your teeth. He’s waiting for you then, waiting for you to walk through that door or close it and walk out of his apartment. He’s hopeful, knowing that last night wasn’t a fluke and that all the kisses you’ve already shared are real and full of passion and those feelings you’ve been dancing around.
That’s when you give in, wrapping your legs around his torso and pulling him into you with that toothy smile of yours as you place your lips on his hungrily. It’s a kiss full of teeth as he smiles against you, his hands coming to cradle your face as you kiss. It’s much more addicting now that you’re sober and you fully agree with Tyson’s comment from last night about how he’s never going to want to stop kissing you.
You decide later that day that there’s no rush in telling JT, instead opting to see how things go between the two of you for a few weeks. Those two weeks are full of plenty of quality time, a coincidental home stand falling during that time meaning you get him to yourself before facing the reality that is how much he travels. You’re sure you can handle everything the new relationship can throw at you, the honeymoon phase lasting long as the two of you skirt around how you’ll tell JT whenever that time comes.
“I need to leave now if I want to leave for the rink and not see JT,” Tyson warns, prying away from your warm body in bed. You whined in response, wanting to have his warmth for just a little while longer. You let him escape from your grasp, only after asking for one too many kisses. You follow him out into your kitchen, watching him as he pulls on his shoes and finds his keys.
“You sure I can’t get you to stay for at least a cup of coffee?” You muse, giving it one more shot to spend time with him before your work week starts. You make your way to where he’s lingering in your entryway, looking extra cozy with his hood over his messy head of curls. You wrap your arms around his middle, slipping your hands under the cotton of his hoodie to feel his skin against yours. 
He leans down to place a soft kiss on your lips, giggling when you follow him as he pulls away, “I really need to get going.”
“Fine,” you hum. “I’ll see you when you get back from Dallas?”
Tyson nods his head with a hum in answer, finally pulling open your front door to get to his car downstairs in the garage without running into JT. But luck isn’t on his side this morning and he gives you one more goodbye hug and kiss in the doorway before shutting the door behind him and coming face to face with a certain redheaded teammate a few feet down.
JT’s eyebrows are knitted as he takes his key out of the lock. His mouth opens a few times in confusion before any words come out. “What was that?”
Tyson doesn’t think he’s ever been at such a loss for words as he is right now. He looks between the door he just shut and his friend a few times, trying to wrap his brain around what this scene looks like. It’s not even 8:30 in the morning on Sunday, and to anyone, this looks like the start of a walk of shame.
“Uh, y/n and I were hanging out and we fell asleep so she let me sleep in her guest room,” Tyson lies. He hopes it’s convincing, his voice didn’t waver but his hands flailed around a little more than normal when he talks and he scratched his beard, something he always does when he’s nervous.
“I’m pretty sure I just saw you kiss her,” JT explains, voice stern as he completely turns to look at Tyson. “And you don’t just kiss people goodbye.”
Tyson stumbles over an explanation for that, no logical reason coming to mind.
“You were just kissing y/n!” JT exclaims, a rise in his voice as he starts to fill in the blanks. Now he’s starting to connect the dots of your tendency to bail on him on the nights you’d normally hang out and Tyson’s lack of interest in guys’ night or after game celebrations with the team. The giggling he would hear through the wall late at night, the girly squeals, and the few times he remembered hearing the bedpost hit against your shared wall a little too hard for his liking. “You just fucking kissed my best friend after I told you to not get involved with her!”
Tyson moves to close the distance between him and his best friend, but JT takes one back, effectively cancelling it out. Tyson’s opening and closing his mouth, trying to figure out the best course of action for this premature conversation. The two of you had just figured everything out in the past few days, telling JT about your newfound relationship hadn’t even come up in conversation yet.
“How long has this been going on for?”
“Barely two weeks,” Tyson stutters out, watching as JT’s face fills with more anger. “Comph, just let me explain,” he tries again, but JT just shakes his head and heads for the doorway for the stairwell instead of the elevator. It’s a huge flight of stairs given that he lives on the 11th floor of the building. He wants to follow his friend, but knows that space is what he needs and instead presses the button for the elevator and gets in, leaving him alone in his thoughts.
When he meets up with him at the rink, JT’s still avoiding him which is hard considering their stalls are only separated by one other in the locker room. Cale hadn’t even made it to the rink yet, so someone wasn’t even there to put up a wall between the two. Gabe takes notice as he walks around the room after taping his ankles, his eyebrows knitting at the fact that Tyson, who’s normally cheery even this early in the morning and bugging JT, is putting on his pads and skates with his mouth shut. 
It’s something Gabe puts in the back of his mind, just thinking that Tyson had a rough night or morning. It’s during morning skate that Gabe, and almost everyone else, notices something is off between the pair. JT doesn’t chirp him like normal when they take face-offs against one another, he’s not by his side in between drills, and JT sticks his stick out a little too far during a one-on-one, sending Tyson to the ice during a drill that no one should be falling during. Bednar thinks nothing of it, just telling Tyson to stay on his two feet. 
Practice eventually ends but the silent treatment between the two continues. JT’s uncharacteristically quiet to everyone that talks to him, something clearly on his mind. Meanwhile Tyson’s nerves are causing him to not shut up as Cale shares a story about his rough commute this morning.
As Tyson and Cale quiet down, Gabe steps in, pointing between the two of them, “What’s up with you two today?”
“Nothing,” Tyson lies quickly, not wanting anyone else to get involved in this. Even if their captain is just trying to help, Tyson’s not sure there’s anything Gabe can say to help. 
JT scoffs, tying his shoes before standing up, “He’s fucking my best friend.” Cale, who was taking him leisurely time with getting dressed suddenly stands up and crosses the room to where Gravy was, avoiding any possible conflict.
Gabe’s eyes pop out of his head as Tyson responds, “we’re not fucking.”
“So the banging into my wall last night wasn’t you?” JT asks in an accusatory tone.
“Well, we’re not like,” Tyson starts, gesturing his hands in front of his body in a way to finish that sentence, soon realizing he doesn’t want to add fuel to fire by saying he was in fact fucking his best friend last night. “It’s not just that, we’re together.”
Gabe, who thought this was probably a misunderstanding of one of Tyson’s pranks or even just JT not winning a stupid bet, is just as shocked as JT was a few hours agao when he saw two of his best friends kissing. The captain isn’t entirely sure of how to navigate this situation, one that hasn’t really happened in any of his locker rooms. He doesn’t have much else to say to the two of them other than to figure it out and that a girl shouldn’t get between two friends that are as close as they are.
With that, Tyson’s trying to apologize to JT, tell him that there’s more to the story but JT wants nothing of it, and is throwing his jacket on and running out the door. Everything in Tyson’s being wants to follow him back to his place and beg for him to hear him out, but instead he’s racing back to your place, ignoring the fact that he still has to pack for their quick road trip.
Tyson all about sprints up the 11 flights of stairs to your door, knocking on your door with urgency until the door swings open. You move to the side as you let him in, clearly seeing how frantic he is with his flushed cheeks and the excessive knocking.
“JT saw me leave this morning,” Tyson lets out, a little out of breath from his run up the stairs. Tyson’s waiting for you to respond but you’re still not getting it. “He saw me kiss you goodbye and then didn’t talk to me all practice then when Landy confronted us he was just like ‘Tyson’s fucking my best friend’ and I tried to explain but-”
“Tys,” you interrupt his rambling, taking a step forward to reach out to him. Your hands grab his in an attempt to ground him, your thumbs rubbing back and forth on the back of his hands. “It’ll be okay.”
“He literally tripped me in practice today!”
“That’s because he can be a petty asshole. He doesn’t hate you, he probably just feels betrayed because he didn't know any of this was going on.” You try to console him, pushing all of your anxieties and paranoia aside to deal with the panicking boy in front of you.
“Let me talk to him, you need to go home and pack for your road trip since I know you haven’t yet.”
“But,”
“I’ll come over right after and update you, I promise.”
WIth that, Tyson kisses you goodbye as you push him to the elevator with a promise that everything is going to be okay before giving yourself a pep talk and bursting into JT’s apartment next to yours.
He spots you before you can greet him and you can see quite a few different feelings crossing over his face.
“Oh, God, are you here to also tell me that you’re not just fucking my best friend, too?” JT scoffs, causing your heart to plummet into your ass. “I really don’t want to listen to any excuses you may have about this.”
“Stop being an asshole for just one second and let me explain,” you reprimand him, already over the fact that your so-called best friend won’t even hear you out. “How is this any different from the countless times you tried to set me up with your friends? Is this not the same thing?”
It’s a genuine question that shuts up JT, because really, it’s not much different in your eyes. For over a year now, JT’s been showing you pictures of buddies he has from back home or from college or even friends of friends that he’d think would suit you. You had always turned him down because to you, dating wasn’t something you wanted other people to really interfere with, even if some of his friends were young, successful, bachelor types.
“Because it’s Tyson,” JT answers simply with a shrug of his shoulders. You look at him, hands clenching at your sides with the vague and uninterested tone. He’s barely even looking at you as he tidies up his kitchen, something he always did when trying to fill silence.
“What the fuck is that even supposed to mean?” You ask incredulously. “You’ve told me a million times he’s one of the best people you’ve ever met.” You bite your tongue from adding a comment about how he is one of the best people you’ve also met.
“The other guys weren’t professional athletes, it’s pretty simple from how I see it.”
“But you could set me up with your friends from Chicago and New York and Michigan but I find one of your friends here in Denver then it’s off limits? Because he plays a sport for a living? If that’s the case then I shouldn’t be friends with you either.” It’s a low blow, you know that, but it finally catches his attention as he drops the cloth he’s wiping the counter with. His eyes finally connect with yours and it’s then he finally notices how hurt you are by the lack of emotion in both his words and his body language. There are tears in your eyes as you look up at the ceiling to try and even your breathing.
“It's an honor for anyone to have a place in my life JT and that includes you,” you continue. “Tyson understands that. He understands that I'm my own person before anything else but he’s still there when I'm stubborn. I've been single for so long and I truly know what I want, what I deserve to feel and I get that with him.”
You often don’t get this deep with the red head, but his lack of wanting to understand you has you emotional as you think of all the benefits of being with Tyson. The few months of being his friend were a perfect build up to the past few weeks of it being more, of sharing a life with someone else. 
“You know him better than most people and if you can honestly tell me he’s no good for me right now then I’ll end it,” you suggest, your heart beating fast as you wait for an answer. JT has come to be one of your best friends in your life, even if he is just your neighbor, and at this moment it’s hard to think of putting a guy between you. Even if that guy is the first guy you’ve really felt this way towards.
“I’m not gonna tell you that,” JT admits with a heavy sigh. He makes his way across the room to you before continuing. “He’s my best friend, too, and if there’s anyone that knows everything about both of you, it’s me. I guess I just felt like you were hiding a secret from me and we don’t do that, ya know? I just wish you could’ve told me.”
You laugh snidely at that, “Do you not remember like two months ago when I told you I thought Tyson was cute and you shot that down before I was even done talking?”
The wheels turn and the light bulb goes off in JT’s brain as he remembers that conversation from a while back, “I won’t confirm nor deny that I said that.”
The both of you laugh lightheartedly at that, pulling him in for a much needed hug, both of you apologizing to the other. The weight on your shoulders is liften as he pulls away, thankful for the fact that you have such an understanding person for a best friend.
“You want to watch an episode of Psych? I think we can fit one in before I have to leave.”
You contemplate it, knowing that a few miles away Tyson is in his apartment panicking as he waits for some sort of update from you. You know you need to tell him how your conversation just went, but something inside you is telling you that JT needs you to spend time with him to normalize everything.
“Sure,” you smile, walking over to his couch and laying on it long ways, forcing JT to sit by himself in his chair. You pull out your phone to text Tyson, smiling as you type out an explanation.
y/n: just finished talking to jt y/n: everything’s good but i think i need to just hang out with him to make him feel better about everything tyson: you sure? y/n: yes, ill call you when he leaves for the airport💚
Everything gets sorted out when you call Tyson an hour later, calming his nerves as you give him a detailed play-by-play of everything that was said between you and JT. The comfortable silence before you hang up is almost filled with him telling you he loves you, but he knows he needs to talk to JT first and needs to tell you in person, and not over the phone as he boards a flight.
The flight was filled with awkward air as most of the guys saw what happened with Tyson and JT in the locker room when practice ended that morning, and even if they weren’t there for that, they felt the tension between them. It’s not until a few hours later when Tyson’s doing his hair before the game when he hears a knock on his hotel door.
He swings the door open to see JT, his hands shoved in his short pockets as he stares right back at Tyson.
“Can we talk?”
“Uh, yeah,” he responds nervously, stepping out of the way to let his friend through the door. The two of them awkwardly stand a few feet away, that meme about two straight guys sitting six feet away in a hot tub because they’re not gay going through Tyson’s brain.
“I, uh, wanted to apologize about everything earlier. I’ll admit, I overreacted a bit and I shouldn’t have tripped you in practice. It was just a lot to take in, especially because I didn’t really know that you two were that close. And I feel like a bad friend now for not knowing that.”
JT’s apology is way more than what Tyson thought he would get from his friend. He knew yours and his conversation went well, but that didn’t mean he still wasn’t scared JT was going to punch him or yell at him or literally anything that wasn’t an amicable conversation between two adults.
“It’s fine, man. It’s on us for keeping you in the dark on this one and I’m sorry for that. I think we barely knew what was going on until it was all happening,” Tyson starts to explain. He’s trying not to look at his feet, knowing that JT needs to see the feelings in his face, those feelings that are very much real to him.
“And it’s real for you? It’s not a game? Because I swear to God, Tyson.” JT darts, voice stern.
“God, no, this isn’t a game to me JT,” Tyson answers quickly, head shaking in disgust at the thought. “I’m not just trying to bag her and call it some accomplishment or whatever you think this is. If that was the case I wouldn’t even be having this conversation with you and you’d already hate me,” he shudders at those words, unable to ever think he could do any wrong to you. “You told me a while ago that it’s no bullshit with her and I know that because it isn’t for me either.”
JT takes a seat on the bed in the room as his friend speaks, taking it all in. It’s a lot for him to take in, but Tyson really is one of the best people he’s ever met and he has little to no doubt that he’s telling the truth about how he feels. If the tears brimming your eyes earlier in the day said anything, you feel the exact same way. The room is silent once Tyson is done talking, his nerves causing him to be quiet for once as JT figures out his next move.
“I hear one bad bad thing from y/n, then it’s over,” JT warns, Tyson nodding his head along in agreement. “And if the guys start talking about your sex life I will be cutting your dick off.”
“Got it.”
“Okay, now that that’s out of the way, how’d you get her to go for you? I’ve been trying to get her a guy for forever.”
“Easy, have you seen my charming smile?” Tyson jokes with that crooked smirk of his, happy to see that JT is already moving on from that heavy stuff and onto best friend stuff. JT rolls his eyes heavily at the joke, a light ‘shut up’ coming out as he laughs.
Tyson explains everything then, the same wide smile on his face he had when he scored his first hat trick. He tells JT about how he wined and dined you on more than one occasion, how he learned those little, obscure things about you that you caught you off guard whenever he remembered them, and most importantly, just spent uninterrupted time with you, getting to know the ins and outs of your life. To Tyson, getting you to open up to him was difficult yet still a tranquil thing to do. The latter severely outweighed the former, as the sense of serenity he felt with you would always overpower any of those harder moments.
The team returns to Denver two days later, a quick road trip to Dallas and St Louis in the books with the regular season ending within the week. You can see that it’s that time of the year on both JT and Tyson’s face, their eyes a little more sunken in with the back half push, even if they’ve already clinched the playoffs. There’s only a few more games left to round out March and the beginning of April, the guys’ still waiting on their round one opponent.
Tyson heads straight for your place when the plane touches down late Wednesday night. You’d talked to him every day for the past few days, but not being able to see him much after JT finding out caused a lot of anxiety for the both of you. The problem may be solved with that, but seeing the other would just give you that little extra push that this was the right thing to do.
Tyson enters your apartment quietly, dropping his backpack and suit jacket down onto the nearby couch as he navigates his way through your apartment in the dark. The light of your string lights in your bedroom illuminates the hallway, soft sounds coming from your phone as Tyson walks in on you laying on your side.
“Hey,” he gently greets with a smile, pausing in the doorway to admire you. You set your phone down, turning around to face the man leaning against the door frame.
You smile just as wide as he does, responding with just as gentle of a ‘hey’. That anxiety you felt over the course of the last few days instantly dissolving at the sight of the man in your doorway.
“Why’re you standing all the way over there?” You ask with a pout.
“I can’t just look at you?” Tyson laughs, making his way over to you slowly. He joins you in bed, crawling over you like he’s still not dressed in one of his expensive custom suits.
“Not when I haven’t seen you in a few days,” you complain with a giggle, the same pout still glued to your face. He places a quick kiss on your lips in response, giving into your silent ask while also erasing that puppy dog look from your face. You’d only officially been with Tyson a few weeks now, the butterflies still heavily present in your stomach everytime your lips meet his.
“Do you not have clothes to change into?” You ask, referring to the crisp white button down he’s still wearing. He nods his head no against yours,
“Only what’s dirty from the roadie. Besides, I plan on being naked here pretty soon,” he smirks playfully. The comment has you shoving him off you with a roll of your eyes, only causing him to laugh loudly at your reaction. You know he’s partly kidding, using that as an excuse to get up from bed to go to the bathroom.
When you emerge from the bathroom, he’s finally shed his clothes and is under your covers. He opens his arms for you to snuggle into him. You do, resting your head on his bicep as he wraps both of his arms back around you.
“I missed you,” you let out. “Because I didn’t know what was gonna happen when you got back with everything going on with JT.”
“I missed you, too, but I’ve always missed you when we left for road trips,” he responds, letting you in on a little secret that clues you in once again to how real this is and how long it’s truly been going on for. “He’s fine with everything, he just told me we can’t act too much like a couple around him.”
You chuckle at that because of course that was the part JT focused on when they talked. As you look up at him, your heart is full and your head still has that same fuzzy feeling it always has when you’re around him. With him you’ve never really felt lonely, something you often felt even when you were around people before him. Those love songs you once heard on the radio that annoyed you no longer do, and instead you welcome them when they play spontaneously in the car or at the bar and parties or even at Avalanche games. 
The thoughts swimming around in your head have you swinging your leg over him, straddling his hips with his hands on your waist and yours on his ribs. That doe-eyed smile he has is focused on you, a grin spreading over your face at the way everything’s worked out with him. Your heart flutters as he gently squeezes your side, a small squeak coming out. He leans up on his elbows then, admiring the view he has of you. He slowly yet full-heartedly fell for you over the time he’s known you and you can see it in the way his gaze turns soft and as the quirkiness drops from his expression.
You’ve slowly fallen in love with the man underneath you, too, and you lean down to kiss him one more time. It’s slow like they always seem to be with him in scenarios like this, where it’s just the two of you and the sounds of your breathing.
The playoffs fly by quickly with the pace they’re winning at, a WAG jacket wrapped tightly around your shoulders to every game you make it to. A new one is shoved into your hands at the start of the Stanley Cup playoffs, Mel telling you it’s a special occasion that calls for a new jacket, even if it is just for a series and even though you’ve just barely broken in your first one.
You go into that offseason with your newly crowned Stanley Cup Champion of a boyfriend, flying out to Chicago over the summer for JT’s day with the cup and spending a whole week in St. Albert when its Tyson’s turn with it.
And that picture frame you never found a picture for that’s hanging up on your wall by your TV? It’s been occupied now with a photo of you sandwiched between JT and Tyson on the ice after Game 6 against the Tampa Bay Lightning, the Cup on the ice in front of the three of you, faces full of glee with confetti falling around you.
Plus One
The pitter patter of small feet running along the hardwood floors of the hallway, followed by a squeal of ‘daddy’ has you setting your glass down and following after her. Your daughter’s giggle is heard through the house, the familiar sound of your husband dropping his bags by the front door following soon after.
“What’re you still doing up, baby girl?” Tyson chastises the four year old as you round the corner to find the two of them still by the door, your daughter in Tyson’s arms as he gives her a kiss.
“Sage said she wouldn’t go to bed until daddy came home for story time,” you answer for Sage. She only giggles in response.
“How about you go get in bed and mommy and daddy will come tell you a story in a minute?” Tyson asks, playing with her little fingers.
“Okay daddy!” She agrees instantly, running all the way up the stairs and down the hall to her bedroom. The brown curls she got from Tyson bounce as she runs, your heart warming at the heavy resemblance she has to her father.
“How are you doing, baby?” Tyson hums as you give him the usual welcome home kiss, his hand coming to rest on your protruding stomach.
“Good, the back pain is much more manageable now, but I’m still going to the bathroom every hour it seems like,” you shrug as you answer. He’d been on the longest road trip of the season so far, one that means the season is almost over. You’d tried extremely hard this time around to get pregnant at the right time so your next child would arrive during the offseason and not in the middle of the conference finals like your first did a few years ago.
“Soon enough we’ll have her running and occupying all of Sage’s free time,” Tyson muses, the two of you making your way to your bedroom so he could change into comfier clothes. You smile at the thought of Sage finally having a little sister to play with and hopefully become best friends with.
When you don’t get to Sage’s room fast enough, she’s racing into yours and Tyson’s room and plopping down onto your spacious bed. You join her, Tyson following, knowing that she’d much rather be sandwiched between the two of you than in her tiny bed in her own room. She leans into her dad’s side, something she’s always done, but you don’t mind — you love seeing them get so close.
“Did you bring a book, sweetie?” You ask her, taming some of her curls.
“No, tell me the story of how you met daddy again,” she proposes, causing you and Tyson to share a look. It’s her favorite story, one she asks you to relay to her at least once a week, and the one she asks for the most when Tyson’s been gone.
The two of you tell the story to her anyway, taking turns as you tell her how upset Uncle JT was about the two of you dating, all the way to the jokes he made sure to make when he gave a speech at your wedding six years ago now.
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angelictrl · 3 years
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hihi wifey, im feeling kinda anxious/sad in general so can i request just have satan + asmo being jealous tysm ❤️❤️❤️
JEALOUS SATAN & ASMO.
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a/n ;; sorry that this is late and i apologize if this is sucky ! head’s been empty but i’m trying desperately not to get writer’s block </3 also, asmodeus’ part got longer than expected, oops.
cw ;; threats, insecurities, hurt-ish/comfort. satan is a moody baby and asmodeus appreciation/supremacy. not proof-read. that’s all, really, besides some cranky demons. 
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# satan. ``
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@ others making him jealous . . .
whoever has the audacity to go and make the literal avatar of wrath jealous definitely has a death wish. whether or not some random demon who was getting too touchy, flirting, or taking up your time and attention with or without knowing that you were his partner, he’d still get pissed. 
however, he has two reactions: either, 1. he storms up to them and puts them in their place/threatens them before pulling you away if he hasn’t destroyed something, or 2. he’s just on the verge ... sitting there, peeking over a book with a menacing aura as he glares at everyone like a cat, ready to claw someone in the corner. 
satan trusts you, so if he goes with the latter, he’ll be silently raging internally while he waits for you to tell them you have a boyfriend and decline their advances. if they continue to push you when you already told them no, that’s when blondie here will snap and go with reaction 1.
“oi, just what do you think you’re doing ? my s/o already said no, you pitiful creature(s). quit gawking at them before i forcefully make you. understand?”
@ brothers making him jealous . . .
on the other hand, if it’s one of his brothers hogging all of your attention, he gets more petty than anything, really. the threats are still there, though. and especially if it’s lucifer who’s stealing you away ... yikes, everyone in HoL will know his change in mood as he’s been on lucifer’s ass more than usual with his pranks and curses.
satan will be visibly annoyed and give each and every one of you the cold shoulder by locking himself in his room more often than not (leviathan the hermit, who ?) to get lost in his books until he gets reassurance and affection from you.
he’s not really insecure, but more lost and confused than anything. he’s the brother that’s pretty much the odd one out, though none of them treat him differently, and he’s always had an issue with feeling enmeshed to lucifer. 
even when he knows he’s his own person, he was created from a quite literal ungodly amount of rage and wrath. it’s all he’s known before you came along into his life. so surely ... you’ll excuse him for looking like a kicked puppy as he tries to sort through these new feelings, right ? 
right, because you’re already there holding his hand in reassurance. that same rough hand that’s tortured and destroyed so many things is being held by someone so fragile ... someone who’s looked death in the eye ... someone who makes him feel like he’s something more than just a monster. 
you truly were just like that main character in one of his books ... you were the beauty to his beast. or, properly phrased, you brought out the beauty in his beast. 
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# asmodeus. ``
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@ others making him jealous . . .
‘oh, honey, you look like rumpelstiltskin, yet you still think you can compare to me ?‘ pretty much his thought process right there.
no but really, asmo may be sweet and the most gentle out of the brothers right next to beel, but he’s still an avatar of a sin. there’s no doubt that the lot of demons there in the devildom would be intimidated by asmodeus in the competition for your love - and honestly, who could blame them ?
most of them who don’t live under a rock would already know that you two are in a relationship with how much asmo posts about you, so it would take some serious devotion from any demon who dares to have the gall to compete with him - whether or not they view you as a fling - and asmodeus will not hesitate to get petty. 
you’re going to need to reassure your demon boyfriend here that you only have eyes for him before he exposes the second half of deep, dark secrets this other person/people have on the internet ^^;;
@ brothers making him jealous . . .
he’d still think of himself as somewhat superior and cuter, but he’d tone things down. he wouldn’t ruin his brothers’ lives like how he would be willing to do so with strangers.
regardless of whether or not it’s a stranger, friend, or brother of his, in the end, asmo will be extra touchy and will spoil you with more spa dates and trips to majolish than usual. this is mostly because he doesn’t want you to notice his recent gloomy change in mood as he’s stuck on the thought of ‘what if’ had you really left him for someone else. 
those intrusive thoughts just keep on swarming through his head ... so what better than to try to get back into routine with daily life ? he just hopes you haven’t taken notice, but unfortunately for him, you have. 
you’ve noticed his slightly disheveled hair and outfit along with the mountain of clothes and makeup piling up in his room and his vanity. plus, let’s not begin to even mention the excessive amount of concealer he’s been wasting to try and hide his eyebags.
things finally begin to progress in the communication area when you sit him down and confront him one night while everyone’s asleep. though, getting him to work through the root of his charismatic-party-animal mask proves to be quite difficult.
“dear, it’s adorable how you care so much for me, but you’re really going to get wrinkles this way. here, come a little closer and let me do your skincare first, then we’ll chat ... c’mon ~ i said closer, hon. i don’t bite ... well, unless you want me to ~”
“asmo, baby ...” you cut him off for the nth time that night as he tried to change the subject again, watching the demon with champagne-colored hair who flung himself at you again glance at you with his cheeky smile faltering for a split second before he quickly regained his composure, but it wasn’t anything that you couldn’t catch onto. “please, stop changing the topic. i’ve come to talk to you ... the real you. no spontaneous activities, no makeovers, just you.”
asmodeus’ face paled ever so slightly and his eye twitched as he thought of playing dumb, but you were just so sincere. he couldn’t even manage out a ‘whatever do you mean ?’ before laughing in disbelief while turning the other way. “this - this is the real ..... the real ... me ... i have no clue what you’re talking about ...” he choked out while tears glossed over his eyes, his back turned to you. 
in his theatrics and dramatic antics, he’d fake cry occasionally, but to truly feel such strong, negative emotions especially towards himself as he cried ... it was ugly. he was ugly. and now, surely if you saw his face, you’d leave him too. for he was such a shallow, ugly, good-for-nothing demon. no matter how much he polished his attitude to be sassy and charismatic or tried on the latest trending outfits and makeup, there was always this feeling of emptiness left in him. not like the black hole everyone called beel’s stomach, but this void left in his heart, this hurting in his chest that wouldn’t go away when the afterglow of each party and hookup arrived, this longing for warmth - not even just physically - for someone to hold him like he did for his brothers on their lonesome nights when they remembered the past.
the avatar of lust was knocked out of his thoughts by a pained noise, confusion written on his face before he realized it was himself. he was sobbing into your chest as you held him close, your fingers delicately carding through his tousled hair. ugly. he thought each sorrowful noise that came out of him was ugly, and he couldn’t help but chant sorry’s your way through tears. he didn’t know when you had came closer once more to hold him, but he buried his face into your shirt and finally let loose the flood of his emotions clinging desperately to you.
“p-please ... don’t go away too, s/o. you’re the true jewel of the devildom, my dear. you’re so much more beautiful than i’ll ever be ... and i ... i don’t mean that just by l-looks ... please ... i love you so much ...”
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obey me masterlist.
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dr3amofagame · 3 years
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Dream tried to stop Wil from creating L'Manburg, Phil tried to stop him from blowing it up, BOTH value people over items and builds, Phil has said that they're replaceable but people aren't, Dream traded spirit for his best friends fishes (we kno he's not someone to talk abt feelings:[) BOTH were kind and selfless but used by almost if not everyone, BOTH were ready to be THE VILLAINS if it meant everyone else could live better after. ONE of them always had someone there, ONE didn't. Intentional?
aaaa sorry for the really inconsistent posts ,, im gonna try to post a little more in the next few days. i have a few things written up, so look out for them? maybe? for now, have this *gestures vaguely* thing ,, it’s kinda a mess but *shrug*
phil is such a fun character, anon, especially for all the reasons that you mentioned in the ask!! he’s a really fun character with a lot of complexities that go (sadly) overlooked by a large portion of the fandom, but he’s super cool even tho i havent analyzed him too much. hope you enjoy (and i hope my interpretation of c!phil isnt too ooc lmao) 
tw: mentioned blood, injury, implied torture/abuse, starvation, trauma, mentioned death, prison arc/pandora’s vault
When Techno first brings Dream back from the prison, Phil doesn’t quite know what to think.
“I don’t trust him either,” Techno assures him, but there’s a flickering anger in the backs of his eyes, one that had emerged ever since he came back from the prison with the other man in his arms, and Phil knows his friend well enough to know that the words are empty in the face of the piglin hybrid’s particular brand of to-the-death loyalty. He shakes his head in reply, refusing to voice his thoughts for Techno’s sake, at least, but the look that the other slants at him suggests that he’s caught onto them all the same.
At first, the work is thankfully mindless; even if Phil has reservations on the man that Techno has more or less dumped into his house, he would hardly wish the clear suffering he’s been through on anyone. The first few days pass in a flurry of brewing potions, wrapping and rewrapping dressings, stitching up cuts and setting broken bones straight. The damage is extensive; Phil has to take more than a few breaks to just leave the house and breathe - he’s far from a stranger to blood and carnage, had received the title of ‘Angel of Death’ for a reason, but even he had never been particularly familiar with this form of cruelty. Torture was a level of violence that extended beyond what even he was willing to bestow - his hands may have caused many deaths, and the weight of each one would continue to haunt him for the rest of his life, but even those had the mercy of being a quick end. The wounds and scars that ripple over Dream’s skin, thin and stretched tightly over his bones with little muscle and fat left to cushion them, speak of horrors that were anything but merciful.
“I didn’t know they were capable of all of this,” Techno says, once, as they huddle of Dream, wringing towels in cold water to wipe his feverish skin. Techno’s hand reaches for the ribboning gold-filled scars that remain from the execution - carefully, Phil raises his hand to let his fingertips brush over them as well. “I mean, I knew he was dangerous and all, but-”
“I know, mate,” Phil looks back at Dream’s face, tight even in unconsciousness, at the darkened, hand-shaped bruises that remain around his throat, at the scar that runs over his left eye, clearly meant to mirror the same one that makes its way down the duck hybrid’s own face. “You said that Quackity and Sam were working together?”
“Yeah,” Techno’s expression darkens, eyes focused somewhere on the wall, seemingly very far away. He said that nothing happened to him in the prison, and he seemed relatively unharmed when Phil activated the stasis chamber, but ever since he came back, sometimes he’ll have moments, and Phil can’t help but - wonder. “Quackity does the dirty work, Sam gives him the way in and out, probably also the tools to do it. It’s-” he huffs a short, self-recriminating laugh. “It’s bad, Phil.”
“Mate-”
Techno shoots him a look, and Phil cringes, knowing already that he’d used the wrong tone. Even with the execution, Techno had been adamant to hide all traces of his own terror and fear away from him, masking it all with fury for Phil’s own sake. He knows, just from the way his old friend looks at the ribboning scars that remain sometimes, that he is far from as over the whole ordeal as he acts, but Techno never wants to talk and Phil never knows the right time to ask and they smooth it all behind plans and explosions and hope that the TNT can blow apart the trauma, too. He’s got a sneaking suspicion that the same thing is going to happen, here.
“As soon as we can,” Techno starts again, pointedly shifting his eyes away from Phil’s face, “we’re calling a Syndicate meeting to figure out what we’re going to do about the prison. Like- come on, man, you couldn’t make a more transparent abuse of institutional power if you tried, really-” he looks over, uncharacteristic uncertainty warring over his features. “If you think that’s good, I mean-“
“Of course, mate.” Phil’s voice softens. “Whenever you’re ready.”
‘Whenever he’s ready,’ as it turns out, is easier said than done, becoming even more evident when their charge wakes up from his days long spell of unconsciousness. The worst of his injuries have, under their careful care and the benefit of many potions, healed enough to no longer directly threaten his life, but the vast majority have quite some time to go before being healed completely. Being as the goal was torture and not death, most of his injuries weren’t made to be life-threatening, but rather to cause as much pain as possible - from the grimace that twists Dream’s face when he struggles to force himself awake, they’re doing their jobs.
“Hey, mate, slow down,” Phil murmurs, pressing the man down by his shoulder when Dream weakly tries to push himself up and off the bed, and his struggling only lasts for a few more minutes before he gives up and slumps against his pillow, eyes cracking open and seeming surprisingly lucid.
“Where-“ his voice is wrecked, and Phil reaches for the glass of water at the bedside as Dream coughs. “Where am I?”
“You’re at Techno’s house,” Dream’s eyes widen and then slip closed as he processes the information, a wrinkle forming between his eyebrows as they knit together. “We broke you out, after Techno escaped with a stasis chamber with your book. Do you remember?”
Dream gnaws on his bottom lip. “Um- yeah. I think.” His head turns as his eyes crack open again- “Techno-“
“He’s out, right now. He’ll be back in a bit.”
“Oh.” Dream falls back into the bed, strength seemingly sapped from the short conversation. His breathing stutters, then steadies. “Okay.”
Recovery is slow. Phil doesn’t actually find himself seeing the man very often; now that he doesn’t need around-the-clock care anymore, he’s moved back into his own house, letting Techno do most of the work when it comes to rehabilitating the escaped convict crashing at his house. As he begins to spend more of his time awake and aware, he brings a whole slew of new problems; Phil catches him screaming one day, blurting harsh, angry words as Techno reads, unbothered from the other side of the room, and he stops in his tracks standing awkwardly in the doorway.
“Um-“ he winces when Dream curses, smashes something against the floor, and then curls into himself at the sound. Techno doesn’t even flinch. “Am I interrupting something?”
Dream stomps away, face flushed, arms wrapped around himself. Techno raises an eyebrow.
“You lookin’ for something, Phil?” he asks, and the unpleasant knot in Phil’s chest refuses to unwind.
The episodes, unfortunately, don’t seem to get much better. Though he’s rarely outright violent, Dream looks constantly murderous, usually muttering underneath his breath about something or another while he stalks the grounds of Techno’s house. It’s not too long before Techno sends him out to work around the house instead of just moping within the cottage, which also means that Phil sees him a lot more - tending to a small farm behind the house, feeding the dogs, hacking away at mobs, and usually complaining the entire time. It’s unnerving, even as injured and unarmored as the man is, to see him walking around like this; despite his rather pathetic appearance, swamped in sweaters that dwarf him thoroughly and thin enough to look like the slightest breeze will knock him over, his eyes are flinty and intelligent and bubble with promises of revenge.
“FUCK!” Phil turns to see him slamming a shovel into the snow, stomping away into the woods, and his hands tighten around his cup of tea. Next to him, Techno shrugs.
“Nerd’s got a few issues,” he drawls, and Phil laughs shortly.
“That seems like an understatement.”
“He’ll ease up in time,” Techno sounds surprisingly confident, completely content despite the muffled curses that come from the woods next to them. He’s probably used to it, with Chat and all, but Phil can’t quite seem to find the same calm.
“I just don’t know, mate,” Phil shakes his head. “You sure having him around is the best idea? He doesn’t seem...stable.”
Techno looks up at him over the rim of his cup of coffee. His head tilts, considering, but there’s a small smile on his face that tells Phil that Techno, inexplicably, doesn’t share the same sentiments. There was always a part of him that was, for the lack of a better word, softer than the rest of the server for his self-proclaimed rival, a sort of understanding that Phil could hardly hope (nor would really want to) understand.
“Don’t worry, Phil, if he tries anything I can always just tie him up in the attic or something,” Phil huffs a small laugh, amused, and nods to concede the point. “And- well, call it intuition. You could really try talkin’ to him, you know. He reminds me of you, sometimes.”
The words stick in his head despite his best efforts, rattling in his skull when he tries to sleep, lingering when he catches glimpses of the green-clothed man stalking around their properties. He can’t imagine what would’ve prompted his old friend to make the comparison, can’t think of a single thing (besides their affinity for the color green) that would mark him as similar to the - from what he’s heard - deranged menace with a particular penchant for destruction (not that his rants and fits of anger are doing anything to correct that impression). Even so, Techno had sounded so sure when he’d made the comparison, the words offhand like he’d thought them a million times before, like it was a simple observation that held no more weight than commenting on the color of the sky. Phil watches as Dream lugs a pile of logs behind him, huffing at one of Techno’s dogs that comes to chase and nip at his feet and grumbling loudly before faceplanting into the snow. He just...can’t see it.
Days later, Wilbur comes to visit, a grin on his lips as he dramatically recounts his newest exploit: a nation by Las Nevadas, a supposed safe haven away from the glitter and glory of Quackity’s city; it sounds brilliant, it sounds lovely, and more than anything it sounds stupid, and Phil tells him as such immediately.
“You’re being reckless,” he rants at his son, wings flaring outwards and only barely noticing Dream watching from the corner of his eye, “What are you doing- picking fights with Quackity? Starting another nation- didn’t you see what happened to the first two you made? You’re going to get yourself killed, Wil!”
“Well, I’ve already seen what’s on the other side of death, and it’s really not that bad-“
“You’re my son!” The words are angrier than Phil would’ve liked, and he knows that he looks ridiculous and overbearing, criticizing the actions of his fully grown son, but all he can see is Wilbur’s face, slack with pain and grief, stained with ash and soot as his eyes flutter to half-mast in the midst of the rubble of a country he loved and destroyed and destroyed him in turn. “I can’t lose you again, Wil!”
Wilbur doesn’t quite storm out, but it’s a near thing, leaving with a clipped goodbye and leaving Phil seething on his doorstep. He spends the rest of the night pacing around the house in a sort of mad frenzy, wings stretching and folding over and over. Not for the first time, he longs for the sky, to feel the air through his wings and let the world fall into pinpricks below him; it’s this that leads him to the roof of his house, staring stubbornly at the clouds as the sun sinks down to the horizon.
“Hey.”
Phil startles; there, down below him, is Dream. He rocks back on his heels, seeming awkward, before clambering up the wall (Phil rolls his eyes at the ease with which he scales it, the feeling in his chest almost fond) and settling himself on the shingles at Phil’s side.
“Hey, mate,” Phil shakes his head. The fondness leaves, and the irritation that had risen at Wilbur’s words, earlier, comes back full-force. “Sorry- Wil came to visit, we talked. I just needed some time to think.”
Dream hums in acknowledgement, and they fall into a comfortable silence, watching as the sun dipping down past the mountains in the distance.
“You know,” Dream starts, sudden, “I told him the same thing.” He looks up at Phil, eyes faraway with old memories. “Wilbur, I mean. When he made L’manburg- I told him he was being reckless.” He shrugs. “I guess he never listened.”
Phil pauses, Techno’s words ringing in his ears. He reminds me of you, sometimes.
Dream looks surprisingly normal up close - face no longer reddened with fever or pale from blood loss, even the scars fail to really take from the boyishness of his face. He bites his lips, eyes falling away at Phil’s scrutiny, golden blond hair flopping over his forehead, newly trimmed to be something a little closer to his old length, at least in the front, the back pulled into a small ponytail. He’s young, and shockingly awkward, teeth worrying his lip, hands fiddling with each other, shifting his weight from one foot to the other several times a minute. He looks like a kid.
“He never does,” Phil lets himself smile, watches as Dream smiles back, almost like they’re sharing a joke. He wonders how well he really knows the man behind the mask. “Want to come in for some tea?”
Dream smiles wider, and something old and worn in Phils chest, knocked loose ever since he felt his son fall limp in his arms with his own sword shoved between his ribs, falls back into place.
“That would be great,” Dream replies, the words almost hopeful, and they go inside.
265 notes · View notes
12tardis · 4 years
Text
Not That Dress (Newt Scamander x Reader)
Warnings: S M U T under the cut 
 Requested: yes @the-knights-of-saint-gay said ‘I want some dick (personally I think Newt is the pounding type and the reader is moan-in-his-mouth-while-doing-missionary type’  lmao this request still got me SENT- hope you like it love 💕 
 Summary: There’s a particular dress of yours that you know always drives your husband mad. You are having far too much fun teasing your husband but what will happen when you push him too far? Featuring shameless flirt!reader and very exasperated Newt on their honeymoon. 
 A/N: this is straight UP sin ppls I know I know I wrote a lot of fluff in the lead up to the thing - but is anyone surprised by this point? I tried really hard to not make Newt too OOC and I kinda vibe this for him ngl. I stand by my previous statements that Newt is a Hufflepuff through and through - even in the bedroom.  Seriously I feel like I need some holy water IM SORRY. 
 Words: 4611
 Taglist: @moonkissk7     @just-an-auror
 Newt knew he was in trouble the second you stepped out of the hotel room in that dress with a little sparkle in your eyes that told him you knew exactly what you were doing. 
 He should have known you were plotting something the moment you told him to wait out in the hall and that you would be ready in a moment. You’d never had an issue with getting dressed in front of him before though Newt would always face the other way to give you privacy like a true gentleman. 
 This was something you always teased him for, often draping yourself over his back and wrapping your arms around him from behind just to see him blush when he realised you were in nothing but your undergarments.
                                             -    -     -     -     -
 “Y/N, would you get dressed? We’re going to be late”, he croaked out in a strained voice, feeling the warm blush travelling down his cheeks as you skimmed your hands over his chest with a soft hum. 
 “Honey, we’re going to be wed in less than a month. I don’t think you have to look the other way when I’m getting changed anymore,” you chuckled as you pressed a soft kiss to his jaw, trailing your hand over his firm chest one last time before you stepped away from him. 
 “I know but I wasn’t raised to be a Peeping Tom, darling.”
 “Well you had no problems looking at me last night when w-“ 
 “Y/N!” Newt cried out loudly and you could see the blush now working its way up the back of his neck.
 “Oh please Newt how can you possibly be shy after all the things-“
 “I’m NOT LISTENING! You’re trying to get a rise out of me and I’m NOT listening!” Newt called, clapping his hands over his ears and making a scene of humming loudly over your teasing. 
 You smirked to yourself as you tugged on the one dress, the one article of clothing you knew he would protest you wearing, checking your reflection over with a proud smile before you twirled him around by his shoulders to face you. 
 Newt’s eyes widened comically as he took you in and you caught the way his eyes dropped briefly to the neckline of the dress before he looked back up at you with his jaw agape “no no no no no. Absolutely not, anything but that.” he rambled shaking his head quickly. 
 He paused when he saw you glaring at him with one hand cocked on your hip “excuse you Newton Scamander but since when did you start deciding what I can and can’t wear?” 
 Newt actually let out a quiet whine then, looking at you with a pleading expression as he took your hands “I don’t and I can’t- I would never ever I am just begging you- not that dress. Not when we’re going to visit my parents.” 
 You dropped your peeved facade immediately at his pleading, the smug smile returning to your lips “why not this dress? What’s so special about this dress?” You tried to play innocent and clueless but Newt was not having it as he gripped your hips in his hands with a little more vigor than he usually would.
 “You know exactly what you little minx,” he said lowly as he pulled you in against him without warning and began to pepper the column of your neck with kisses causing you to squeal.
 And you did know. You had knowingly Pavloved your sweet, oblivious boyfriend to react a certain way whenever he saw you in said dress. 
 It had been the dress you had been wearing the first time you went down on him and the dress you wore before you slept together for the first time. You’d worn it several times since, when you had initiated sexy time. 
 Newt had eventually come to recognise it as the dress that drives him mental. 
 You pushed him away, looking up at him with a shy smile then because you knew he was right and it really wouldn’t be appropriate to tease him in such a way for lunch with his parents. 
 “Okay okay” you said, holding your hands up in surrender as you reached back to unzip the dress, rolling your eyes when Newt turned away from you quickly. 
 Shaking your head with a fond smile you made quick work of getting changed before you stepped around to face him. You couldn’t help but giggle at the sigh of relief he let out when he saw you were decent because your fiancé may have very well been the most adorable and sweetest man on the planet. 
 You smiled as he took your hand in his own, fixing you with one last exasperated expression before he pressed a kiss to the back of your hand “one day, I might just snap. And then what will you do?”
 “Sit back and take it like a good girl.” you said casually with a sweet smile, giggling at the look of utter shock he now wore. He took a few minutes to gather himself and lift his jaw from the floor. 
                                             -       -     -     -     -
 And now a month later you were on your honeymoon with your husband and you were travelling around the world with him as he’d promised. Currently you were in New York because it was where you had promised to drop in first and catch up with Tina, Queenie and Jacob. 
 You’d immensely enjoyed catching up with the Goldstein’s and getting to see how Jacob’s bakery was thriving and now you were due at the younger sisters' flat for a small cocktail night that Queenie and Jacob were throwing.
 Now you were looking forward to the chance to dress up but Newt had needed some persuasion as usual from the moment that Queenie had mentioned the word ‘party.’ 
 He was sulking in the hotel corridor when you appeared in the dress and you didn’t miss the way his eyes lit up instantaneously before a dark expression quickly passed over his features. 
 “Y/N”, he murmured in a half scolding tone but you were quick to shrug your coat on and take his hand in your own, tugging him down the corridor after you. 
 “Not another complaint out of you, mister. We’re going to be late.” You tossed his own words in his face as you pulled him along. The coat covered you up for the most part and Newt was relieved but he knew that relief would be short lived. 
 When you arrived at Queenie and Jacob’s place Newt was completely distracted by greeting the Goldstein sisters and the sheer volume of people packed into the tiny flat that he missed you slipping off your coat behind him. 
 “Ah Mr. and Mrs. Scamander have arrived!” Jacob called loudly, clapping Newt on the shoulder and you couldn’t help the smile and small flutter in your chest at the use of your new title. 
 “Sorry we’re late, the Niffler was being a nuisance,” you lied so easily that Newt quickly looked back at you where you were greeting Tina and Queenie.
 The retort died on his lips and he gulped audibly as his gaze roved over your form. He broke out of his ogling when Queenie’s surprised giggle met his ears and he glanced at the woman to see her covering her mouth as she looked back at Newt in amusement. 
 Odd. He could have sworn she couldn’t easily read his thoughts. 
 “When you’re thinkin’ em that loud honey I’m pretty sure even Jacob knows” Queenie teased as she hugged him tightly in greeting, squeezing his shoulder to reassure him. 
 “Relax sweet cheeks, you’re recently married to the girl of your dreams and your thoughts are loud with happiness. Ain’t no one here gonna judge you,” Queenie murmured for only Newt to hear and Newt smiled thankfully back at her though he couldn’t suppress the blush that filled his cheeks. 
 “Well I don’t suppose Y/N’s inner monologue is embarrassing like mine,” Newt murmured and Queenie smiled widely at him before she peeked back over her shoulder to where you were talking animatedly with Tina. 
 “She’s just thinking about you. And calling herself Mrs Scamander over and over again.” Queenie laughed and Newt looked back at you in adoration, shaking his head to himself as he made his way over to you with drinks for both of you.
 Not long later you were sitting pressed into his side at a small table listening to Tina ramble on about her most recent case at MACUSA. Newt was finding it increasingly more difficult to focus on Tina’s words as you lay your hand on his knee and slowly began to trail your hand up his leg. 
 Newt jolted a little when your hand drifted a little too close to the growing tent in his trousers and he quickly gripped your hand in his own, glancing down at you.
 But of course you just smiled innocently back up at him, tracing your other hand along the neckline of your dress and Newt had to dig deep to find the willpower to look away from you and focus back on Tina who was still talking about the pile of paperwork she’d had to sign that week. 
 Newt frowned when you worked your hand free from his and wandered away from him, his eyes following you as you made your way to the makeshift bar.
 You were in the middle of fixing you both another round of drinks when a gentleman sauntered over to you, grinning down at you widely “and who is this little heartbreaker we have here? What are you doing fixing your own drinks, angel face?” 
 You couldn’t help but twitch at the pet name because it sounded utterly wrong coming from someone other than Newt. The man in question was now leering down at you with the most obnoxious smirk on his face and your eyes quickly flicked to your husband. 
 Newt had noticed the man immediately as he’d been watching you from across the room and he felt a heat flaring up his neck at the way the other man was looking like he wanted to devour you. 
  He was just about to push himself to his feet and go and intervene as you were preparing to put the man in his place. But Queenie beat you both to it as she slipped between the pair of you, gripping the young man by his shoulders.
 “Patrick, Y/N is a married woman! And I suggest you remove yourself before Mr.Scamander unleashes one of his creatures on you.” 
 The man, Patrick, blinked quickly and glanced over at Newt before he looked back at you and then at Queenie “Scamander? Oh Mrs. Scamander m-my apologies! I’ll be right outta your hair!” He scurried away and you returned back to the table where Newt was sat with Tina with Queenie in tow. 
 You slid back into your seat beside Newt as he curled his arm around your waist protectively, lifting your hand to his mouth and pressing his lips to your soft skin. 
 He took particular care to brush his lips over your ring finger as he held your gaze, twirling the wedding band on your finger while you smiled back at him as if to say ‘yes I know. I’m yours.’ 
 The rest of the room and the people in it faded into the background as you gazed back at your husband, lifting your other hand to play with the hair at the nape of his neck, noticing his little shiver in response. 
 His hand fell to your knee this time and he thumbed at the fabric of your dress as he became vaguely aware of Tina still rambling on at him. Newt looked back at her, nodding along and plastering on a look of interest as he slowly pushed the fabric of your dress up along your thigh.
 He bit his lip when you scraped your nails along the nape of his neck and laid your head on his shoulder, smiling back at Tina nonchalantly as you slowly let your legs fall open under the table. Newt wondered how easy it would be to just slide his hand up between your legs and into your panties an-
 You both startled and sat up straight when Queenie began to choke on her drink violently, a pink blush colouring her cheeks as she looked back at the pair of you while Tina fetched her some water. 
 Newt flushed scarlet then as he realised what had happened. It was a mixture of the possessiveness he’d experienced just a moment before, the embarrassment he now felt along with the arousal that had been coursing through him all night because of you in that damn dress that had him getting to his feet quickly. 
 “I’m terribly sorry Tina, I’m really not feeling well I’m afraid we must go. We will have to resume this conversation another time.” Newt said in a rush as he pulled you to your feet, barely bidding his farewells to Queenie and Jacob before he was strolling out of the flat with his arm around your waist. 
 Jacob followed after you to fetch you your coat but he turned back to look at Queenie who had since recovered from her shock when he saw the two of you had already apparated away. 
 “Boy, Newt must really be feeling ill”, Jacob called out with a frown and Queenie laughed then, unable to stop herself as she took Jacob’s hand in her own. 
 “He’s not sick, sweetheart. More...excited,” she said slowly, laughing again as she watched the realisation dawn on Jacob’s face. 
 “Oh...OH! They grow so fast. It seems like only yesterday he was too shy to even kiss her!“
                                                    -     -     -      -     -
 You raised your eyebrows in surprise when Newt managed to apparate you both back into your own hotel room and you recognised the look of complete focus in his eyes before he was pinning you back against the wall and kissing you hotly. 
 You kissed him back with just as much vigor, trying to lean into him more and letting out a gasp of surprise when he pushed you back against the wall firmly, looking at you with dark and lustful eyes. 
 “Merlin, Newt, what were you thinking about back there?” you breathed out, letting out another gasp as he nipped at the soft skin of your throat at the same time he pushed his thigh between your knees. 
 “I was thinking about fingering you right there under that bloody table,” he murmured lowly into your ear and you thought you might faint then. 
 What had happened to your sweet and gentle husband? 
 “What you have nothing to say now, huh?” Newt murmured as he lifted you up by the backs of your thighs, carrying you to the bed where he lay you down and wasted no time in slotting himself between your legs. 
 “You’ve been teasing me all night- fuck it, all week really ever since the wedding. In this sinful little dress of yours”, he brushed his lips over yours teasingly before he worked his hand up under your skirt “and now you have nothing to say to me?” 
 Your heart was beating wildly in your chest, your eyes widening because he very rarely cursed and at his words you felt the heat and a deep ache building between your legs. 
 You moved to wrap your arms around his neck as you usually would, making a noise of surprise when he let out a growl and pinned your hands above your head firmly “no touching.” 
 You couldn’t deny the way you clenched in response to his rough handling but you were still surprised as you tried to wrap your legs around his waist, gasping in shock when he used his body to pin you to the mattress. 
 “I said no touching” 
 “Well then what do you suppose I do then, Mr. Scamander?” you said in a much brattier tone than you had intended, smirking up at him.
 Which you really shouldn’t have done because that only urged him to fix you with a smirk of his own “I don’t know...I suppose you could just- what was it? Oh yes,sit back and take it like a good girl,” he purred your own words back at you and it was your turn to stare back at him in utter shock and undeniable arousal. 
 He crushed his lips against yours again before you could come up with any more sarcastic retorts, his hand slipping under your dress and into your panties where he pushed two long fingers inside you without warning. 
 You cried out into his mouth as you rocked your hips up against his hand, clenching down on his digits hard in your shock. 
 Newt began to work his fingers deep inside you as he pulled back from the kiss, instead pressing hot opened mouth kisses down over your neck and between your cleavage before working his way back to your neck. 
 “So gorgeous for me my angel,” Newt breathed into your ear as he crooked his fingers deep inside of you, his cock straining and hard in his slacks. 
 “Newt please”, you whined desperately, clutching at his shoulder as you bucked your hips wildly in pleasure. 
 “Please what my darling? Tell me what you need.” he purred, freezing his actions completely in favour of sitting back and looking down at you. You just looked so pretty sprawled out for him, looking at him with such wanton beauty. 
 You whined in frustration when he stopped his ministrations and pulled his fingers free, trying to shift your hips and whimpering when he simply used his forearm to hold you still with that stupid sexy smirk on his face. 
 “I want you!” you whined again and Newt almost felt guilty for the briefest moment until he remembered how you’d been incessantly teasing him, driving him wild. 
 “You have me, baby. I’m all yo-“, 
 You groaned loudly in frustration, tipping your head back at his cruel teasing “oh my stars Newt! I want you. Inside me. Not your fingers.” You were practically pleading now but you were far too gone to care. Especially when he was rubbing teasing circles on your hip with his thumb and you could feel your own wetness on his digits. 
 Newt felt his cock give an interested jolt in the tight confines of his pants at your words and he relented his firm hold of you to reach for his pants instead. He made quick work of undoing his pants and shoving them down but you also used the window of opportunity to rise up onto your knees, pushing him onto his back before he could realise what was happening. 
 You wasted no time in straddling him, tugging your dress off over your head before you crashed your lips to his and reached down to grip his hard cock in your hand. You pumped the hard length in your hand a few times before you settled in his lap, rocking against him with a soft moan. 
 Newt groaned when you began to grind against him, grazing his teeth against your skin as he tucked his face into the crook of your neck “Y/N”, he groaned again when you gripped his throbbing cock again and rubbed the head of it against your glistening slit. 
 You rose up on your knees a little bit, gripping Newts shoulder hard in one hand and his throbbing length in the other and Newt held his breath and closed his eyes in anticipation.
 But he blinked his eyes open again after a few moments passed and you hadn’t moved an inch. He let out a growl when he spotted the teasing little smile you had on your lips and he pushed you back onto the bed in one fluid motion, spreading your legs with his calloused hands and then settling over the top of you. 
 “You just love it don’t you?” He looked down into your eyes as he positioned his cock at your entrance “you love driving me wild...teasing me so I’ll snap”, he murmured as he nipped at your earlobe, running one hand up your body and tweaking one of your nipples between his thumb and forefinger. 
 He relished the small mewl you let out in response as you wrapped your legs around his waist, trying to thrust your hips up towards him and whimpering when he held you down with his other hand. 
 “That boy is just lucky he had half a brain not to lay a hand on you”, Newt breathed against the skin of your neck, marking your sensitive skin. 
 “W-why’s that?” You managed to stutter out, your lips parting a moment later when his thumb rubbed over your clit. 
 “Because only I get to see you like this.” He thrust his length into you in one fluid thrust, letting out a low groan of pleasure and tipping his head back as you cried out from the sudden intrusion. 
 You were gripping his shaft with your walls in the most delicious way as you clenched your muscles tightly around him. “Oh Newt,” you sighed out, your voice high and breathy as you keened at the way he was stretching your walls. 
 It was a welcome contrast to his usual slow method of opening you up bit by bit with his mouth and fingers. Just the dark look of lust in his eyes and the unreserved pleasure on his face was enough to make you a trembling mess beneath him. 
 Newt pulled his hips back slowly until just the tip of his cock was inside you, slamming his hips forward in one motion with a deep groan before he set up a pace of thrusting into you continuously. 
 You couldn’t help your cries of pleasure as he had his way with you, completely captivated watching how unreserved and dominant your husband now was. He was pounding into you with abandon and you could do nothing more than lay there and take it, rolling your own hips up to meet his. 
 “You’re so incredible,” Newt panted, the sweat forming on his brow as he moved above you and inside you. His hips stuttered to a complete halt though just a moment later and you whined in response, trying to understand why on earth he had stopped but then you saw him scrambling for his wand and muttering about a protection spell. 
 “Leave it,” you breathed out without a second thought, taking his hand in your own and Newt whipped his head back to look at you in shock. “We don’t...I’m not worried. We’ve spoken about this already and- well I’m ready if you are,” you murmured as you squeezed his hand in yours, looking back at him with wide eyes.
 Newt stared back at you blankly for a moment and you were worried you’d upset him but then he was pinning both of your hands back above your head and crashing his lips to yours in a deep kiss as he began to thrust into you again. 
 This time he was really pounding into you with a whole new sense of purpose and you moaned into his mouth as you squeezed your legs around him, spurring him on to fuck into you harder. 
 He was handling you far more roughly than he ever had before and you were a trembling mess below him, shrieking into his mouth when one of his hands found its way between your legs again and he thumbed over your sensitive nub again. 
 Newt pulled back at your shriek but when he saw the look of utter euphoria on your face he tucked his own face into your neck, sucking at the marks he’d made earlier while he jackhammered into you “come on darling, let go for me. Come for me angel”, he murmured directly into your ear like he knew you loved, flicking over your clit even faster.
 Your entire body shuddered as the coil in your stomach finally snapped and you came, wrapping your arms around him tightly and crying out into his shoulder as you clenched around him rhythmically. 
 “Ohhh Merlin, Y/N, Y/N I’m gonna,” he trailed off with a groan when he felt the way you were clenching around him, as if your pussy was trying to milk his cock. 
 You were still in the midst of your orgasm when you heard him and felt the way his cock swelled inside you just barely and you nodded quickly “yes come for me, baby. Fill me up,” you murmured before capturing his lips again. 
 Newt rutted into you just a few more times before he finally shattered at the thought of spilling his seed inside you unprotected and the sensation of you still gripping his length. He pumped into you slowly as the warm cum spurted from his cock, filling you to the brim.
 You whined softly as the sensation and stroked at his messy hair  while Newt collapsed against you, panting heavily against your shoulder.
 When his breathing calmed after a minute or so he carefully pulled out from you and you closed your eyes, already missing the feeling of him. He flopped onto the bed beside you and you both lay there, catching your breath, you with a small blissful smile on your face. 
 “Y/N”, he said it so quietly with the most timid tone that you quickly looked over at him in confusion and when you saw the distressed look on his face you grabbed his hand in your own. 
 He opened his mouth to talk but you lifted your other hand to press a finger to his mouth, effectively shushing him “Newton, I swear to everything-you-hold-sacred that if you apologise for the best sex we’ve had yet I will hex your mouth shut.” 
 You looked back at his stunned expression and you moved your finger from his mouth and gently stroked his cheek “unless...unless you regret not using the protection charm. In that case we can reverse it, there’s nothing to worry about.”
  You sat up, reaching for your wand but Newt took your hand, shaking his head before he dropped a delicate kiss to the back of your hand “no it’s not that I promise...I was just worried, I got- I got carried away. You promise I didn’t hurt you?”, he murmured, flicking his eyes up to look at you in concern.
 “Sweetheart I promise. You didn’t hurt me. I would have told you if I wasn’t enjoying it. You have to trust that,” you soothed, gently caressing his cheek and pressing a soft kiss to his lips a moment later. You were constantly surprised by how gentle and caring he was but you were certainly happy to have seen this new side of your husband.
 Newt smiled again and nodded before he gently pulled you into his lap, hugging you close and tucking his face into your shoulder “I love you Mrs. Scamander,” he murmured, smiling at the way you preened at the name. 
 He lifted you into his arms and headed towards the bathroom, and you wasted no time to smile flirtatiously up at him “ohhhh did I hear you say ‘round two in the shower?’ ” You teased winking up at him. 
 Newt rolled his eyes fondly at you, shaking his head “shut it you, that’s enough of your teasing for one week,” he said, dropping a gentle kiss to your forehead and you laughed softly in response.
 “I love you too, Mr. Scamander.” 
-Other Works Here!-
2K notes · View notes
petite-ely · 3 years
Text
Afraid // JJ Maybank
Seven- Mommy Issues
Pairing: JJ Maybank x fem routledge! reader
Warnings: mommy issues, mother abandonment, anger, maybe some mistakes, tell me if I missed anything
Description: y/n has always wanted answers about her mother, but the truth seems more harsh than what she had in mind.
A/n : hello, hello friends. Sorry for not updating sooner. I had absolutely no inspiration, lol. Anyways, hope you enjoyyyy! :) (also I know the gif is terrible quality but I really wanted to put this clip and I couldn’t find any cleaner option to make a gif)
Previously
Afraid Masterlist
Song recommendation
Tumblr media
Gif made by me!
As a child, y/n never realized how her family was different than the others. A lot of kids on the cut had single parents, it wasn’t that big of a deal. Her mom had left when she was only three, to go pursue her dream job in Colorado. It wasn’t a bad thing in the girl’s eyes. It didn’t feel like she was missing out on anything.
As she blossomed into adolescence, y/n finally understood how unconventional her family was. She heard the other girls at her school talk about their mothers. About the cakes they made or the precious moments they spent together. Mother-daughter bonding moments. She had to admit it she felt jealous. Or maybe was it envious?
She had lived all her life without a mother to kiss her scraped knees or braid her hair before going to sleep. And she would have given anything to experience it, even for one single night.
It wasn’t that she didn’t love her brother or her father, far from it, she adored them. They were both so precious to her. Still, she felt as if something was missing from her. Or more like someone.
She didn’t remember her mother, she was so young at the time, but she cherished the stories her father had told her. She fed her imagination on these stories. Making up fake memories where her mother was still there. In her heart it was all real. Reality was bitter compared to the sweet comfort of her imagination.
By the time she was 12, she’d heard the famous story enough to know it by heart, each word of the letter engraved into her head. She begged her father again and again. She wanted more stories, even the smallest anecdotes, she wanted to hear them all. Anything to improve the sketch, constantly redrawn, of the woman she didn’t remember. The woman she couldn’t really call a mother.
She knew the story by heart and yet it felt incomplete. She’d heard enough fairytales and read enough books to know when a story was complete. This one wasn’t.
And she was right.
A week after the twins’s 13th birthday, their dad gathered them around the kitchen table. He wanted to talk. It was very important. Y/n had to admit, this was quite strange, as her father was never the one to bring up important issues. In front of him was placed an envelope, yellowed with the years.
The girl knew this envelope all too well. Every scratch, every little bump, she could almost feel them on the tip of her fingers. It was her mother’s letter. This time, when he pulled out the folded pages, a third paper came out. The missing part.
Big John didn’t say anything, only slid the pearl white sheet to the twins. And though no words came out of his mouth, a million could be seen in his gaze. He wore an unfamiliar expression on his face. It was mix of sadness, fear and regrets. It was the expression of a man who only wanted to protect his children from being hurt.
The missing paper read as so:
“This is my dream, John.
And I know you might think there’s a way for us to fix this, but there isn’t. This time you can’t fix it.
When I got pregnant with the kids, I was so scared. And when I told you, I saw this glimmer in your eyes. This flame suddenly being lit inside of you. You were so excited to have your first child and it was twins! You seemed so happy. It was beautiful.
Then I thought that maybe we could do this, maybe I could be a mother. I had you, so everything would be fine. My friends kept talking about this amazing connection that felt with their babies when they were carrying them. But I never felt it with the twins.
And I thought that maybe once I held them in my arms I would finally feel it. That motherly connection. It never came. And I tried, John. I tried so hard. But I just can’t.
I do love them, I love them so much, but not the way you do. Not the way a parent loves their child It can’t do it, I’m sorry. I wasn’t meant to be a mother. Life is cruel that way sometimes.
If there’s one thing I’m certain of, it’s that you were meant for this. I can see it in the way you look at them. You can do this, John. I know.
Be the parent I will never be able to be.”
Y/n’s curious eyes scanned the paper excitedly. Her face showed a variety of emotions in the span of a few minutes. First, excitement and joy, then, confusion and finally, anger. The tip of her ears burned red, her hand shaking beneath the table.
John B. placed the paper on the table, a loud sigh escaping his lips. Though, compared to his sister, he seemed relatively calm.
Y/n couldn’t contain it anymore. She stormed out of the house, her feet shoeless and her shoulders bare. She had no idea where she was going, but she ran.
It didn’t matter. As long as she was going somewhere. As long as she was moving and running, then she wouldn’t have to think. And if she was thinking, then her mind would take her to a bad place. She didn’t want to go there. So she ran.
The Routledges were never reputed to be angry people, much less violent. They were generally very calm, maybe a bit arrogant, but always composed. Of course, when a Routledge was after something, they would do anything in order to obtain it.
But y/n was one of the exception. She was the first Routledge woman in nearly 150 years. For generations, every Routledge man had sons, who had sons, who had sons until her father. He had a son and a daughter.
She wasn’t an angry person or mean in any way. On the contrary, she was kind and gentle. But compared to her brother and her dad, she felt emotions deeply.
And maybe it was her mother’s side and not the Routledge in her. It was so intense, sometimes. Almost blinding, at some moments. It was like the emotions took over her. It didn’t happen very often but it felt like she didn’t control her body anymore.
When she finally came back to her senses, y/n was standing on an empty beach. She hadn’t realized how far she’d gotten until she felt the warm sand under her feet. A cold breeze wrapped itself around her shoulders. She was so far from home. And so alone.
She walked to the ocean, letting her toes dip gently into the water. The water was cold but calming. Her anger slowly disappeared with each breath she took, until finally she could see everything clearly again.
Y/n turned away. She thought of going back home, when a wave of emotions hit her. She fell to the ground. It was like the air had been sucked out of her lungs.
Her chest burned, she felt like she had swallowed fire. Her shoulders shook and loud sobs escaped her lips. She dug her hands into the sand, trying to ground herself. It didn’t stop her tears from crashing onto her shirt.
A shadow appeared in front of her and she recognized its shape in a matter of seconds. It could only be one person.
“Are you hear to laugh at me?” She said through tears.
“No, not this time,” said John B. He sat down beside her, his eyes looking into hers. “Oh, y/n.” He wiped the tears off of her face
“I’m sorry,” she sniffled. “It’s just that, that,” he placed his arm around her shoulder, she took a deep breath. “Part of me always thought that she would come back.”
“That she’d come stay with us and finally be our mom. But she’s never coming back, ever,” her tone was almost accusing. “I lost so much time making up scenarios for her and she doesn’t even love us.”
“You know that’s not true,” reasoned John.
“Yeah, but it feels like it.”
“We don’t need her anyway,” stated the boy. “We’ve got dad, surfing, plenty of fish and well, each other. It’s not that bad is it?”
“No, you’re right.” She looked at him. “I just feel like I’m missing out on something. Like I’m,” she paused, looking for the right word, “incomplete.”
“I get it. If the roles were reversed and dad wasn’t there, I guess I would feel that way too,” confided her brother. “But don’t give her this much power. She doesn’t get to make you feel this way. You’re whole on your own, y/n/n.”
“Thank you, bird.” She slid her arm around his shoulder, letting her head rest on top of it. “You know, you can be an amazing brother sometimes.”
“Sometimes?”
“Yeah, sometimes.”
“Hey, bird?” “Yeah?”
“How did you find me, anyway?”
“You always come here when you wanna be dramatic.”
“I do not!”
“You so do!”
And slowly, the imaginary memories fell apart and disappeared. Y/n didn’t need them anymore. She’d be better in the real world.
Taglist
@kaelyn-lobrutto24 @poguestyle17 @im-a-stranger-thing @lasnaro @thoughtsofthestars @briandaflores19 @lunaposey @allycat449-blog @ifilwtmfc @kitty084 @coloradogirl07 @ponyboys-sunsets @chaoticbisous @p0gue420 @sloaneemily @babygal-babygal @itsagurl @mendesmaybank
If you wanna be added or removed or if I forgot you, tell me and it’ll be modified!
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beelstoecrust · 3 years
Text
Reading you based on your obey me Kin
i will be ruthless and im not holdin back!! ok now say it with me😈
Lucifer
I kin Lucifer and I have a hard time reaching out to my friends for help even when i know i need it. I don't want people to get worried about me so i mask my issues and help everyone with thier issues, completely disregarding my own needs for a break. in the end i feel alone because regardless of saying im ok, i want someone to truly sit with me and ask me if im ok, but i fear that moment because im not used to dealing with my own issues
Mammon
I kin Mammon and i just want to feel seen and loved. sometimes i do stupid/dumb things to get the seratonin that comes from making people laugh. i feel like no one ever listens to me and it makes me feel insignificant and like the last one to get picked. i truly want to be myself and fear that if im not the odds one out by doing little dumb things people will think im essentially worthless and most likely think im borning. I have a hard time talking about my feelings and want to so desperately, that if i do i won't know what to say or where to start due to the many emotions i've bottled up throughout my life
Levi
I kin Leviathan and i have very bad anxiety. i have a difficult time making friends and part of that reason is bc im scared they already hate me or want nothing to do with me. I know my interests are different from what is considered the norm but i so desperately want to talk and ramble about said interest for hours to someone who will at the very least listen. I get bashed about the things i like by my family and although i dont show it, this hurts me deeply. I lock myself in my room and indulge myself in my favorite things bc each character makes me wish i had certain aspects of them and makes me wish i lived an interesting life but bc of my anxiety it's extremely hard for me to do so. Im also used to being the last one picked and often assume i will always be the last one picked no matter how many times im reassured and deep down i want someone to relish in my own interests with me and truly love and care for me
Satan
I kin Satan and i have a horrible realtionship with my father. I Loathe my father and the tension arises every time we a near one another. A part of me feels terrible that i loathe my father because i know he has his own mind and emotions and i want to forgive him for what he's done but in the end I know it's fruitless to forgive him bc he has put me through alot of pain and hurt. i wish things couldve been different and we couldve had a normal bond. I also hide my emotions very well and am ashamed of ever feeling angry bc it makes me feel like i am horrible person. im also not used to affection and have only ever seeked or felt genuine affection from my pets. I also fear as if i have no personality and that im boring.
Asmodeus
I kin Asmo and i feel like i need to act confident around others in order for them to like me because im too scared to show people my insecurities because i fear they will never view me the same again and leave me in disgust. I want everyone to like me and I also can't handle when someone doesn't want to be my friend or doesn't like me bc i feel if there's something wrong with me. the need to act confident and cute all the time makes me oblivious to the fact that my insecurities shine through at times and make me even more oblivious to the fact people like me for who i am, insecurities and all
Beelzebub
I kin Beel and i have some form of sepreation anxiety towards my favorite person. i often get a sudden fear that something bad will happen to my fav person even though everything is ok. I get made fun of or scolded by my eating habbits and it makes me feel absolutely terrible because i'm trying. i also care very deeply for my family/friends and will do anything for them. i place unnecessarily guilt onto myself and perfer to do so, so that no one else has to bear the burden.
Belphegor
I kin Belphie and i act as if nothing matters but i secretly am very worried and care alot about my friends/family. I also stay up very late because i feel like i have no control over my life during the day and for some reason i feel like staying up late gives me some kind of control. I also hide my emotions with a sarcastic tone and usually think about the the mistakes ive made in my past while i cry in bed. i dont ask others for help emotionally and i want someone to care and listen to me as well as to relish in a calm peaceful life.
/Undatables/
Diavolo
I kin Diavolo and i fear that telling ppl i care about them isn't enough to get the message across so i constantly gift people things in hopes to show them i care. i also fear gifting things too much drives people away from me, i also dont get included much with friends and feel as if i have done something wrong. i also feel very upset when a fun time is over because the feeling of happiness goes with that moment, so i constantly throw little parties and whatnot to relish in the joy but feel upset once it's over. i can also read people well and get put on edge or very cautious when i cannot read someone
Barbatos
I kin barbatos and i constantly take care of others never once letting myself take a break. I hide my emotions behind a smile in order to not worry others and because i dont want dont ppls sense of depency on me to be ruined. i rarely let myself take breaks bc i fear that i wont be there for the person i care about when they need me.
Solomon
I kin solomon and i usually supress my emotions to hide the fact im not very used to being shown affection and that im not as confident as i seem. I also am a very private person but the fact im so secretive makes me disliked by some bc they think i dislike them. i also wish my friends would include me in more events with them and when they dont i bury myself in an activity to hide the fact im upset about it
Simeon
I kin simeon and i want to know and make sure they everyone is ok. i know just how to push and pull people's buttons but i wont abuse this because i care about those people. i'm also very hard to read and perfer to give people advise rather than answers to their problems. The constant taking care of others makes me forget that i also need time to just myself. It takes alot and i mean alot to anger me but once it happens it's not very pretty.
Luke
I kin luke and I want to take care of everyone and often forget to take care of myself. People often dont take me seriously and so i often i find myself baking as a coping mechisim bc it makes me feel in control of little things. I also have a hard time admitting that i care about others and i'll unknowingly show my affection that i do care about them by giving them little gifts and advice. im also very oblivious to certain topics and are i get mad when i get left in the dark about certain topics.
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marauders-venting · 3 years
Note
Hi,, I read your posts,, and they were all sooooo amazing!! I just loved them. That's why I wanna ask if you will write prompt for me. Prompt: Remus/ Sirius first date. Both of them are nervous, and share the reason of their nervousness with lily and James. Sirius/ Remus is nervous because he is preparing for the date. While other is nervous about looks or other stuff. And then how the date goes...,, English is not my mother tongue so, pardon me if their are some errors. <3
The Last Chance
pairing: wolfstar (remus x sirius)
genre: fluff
warnings: hints at death
words: 3865
note: i wrote this with @ probably_wizardingworld_art on instagram. I wrote the part with remus and lily and she wrote sirius and james and we wrote the rest together. they came up with the title too.
a/n: hi! thank you so much that makes me so happy :D! this is my first prompt so im very excited. i actually had a lot of fun writing this so if you guys want to send me requests/prompts i'd be glad to try write some of them (you can send the request on tumblr or instagram)! anyway sorry this took me so long to get to but i hope you like the result! :)
Sirius was nervous, which didn’t happen often so they were pathetic at dealing with it. He needed to talk to James immediately or his head would probably explode or something. When he entered the common room they were lucky enough that Prongs was already there; he was talking to Lily, but that didn't matter right now. He walked up to them and slightly tapped James onto the shoulder, making him jump a little.
“Hey James, can I talk to you for a moment?” Sirius asked nervously, fidgeting around with one of their many rings.
“Of course Pads,” James said. He seemed a bit concerned because Sirius Black was rarely that unconfident, especially when there were people around. “Wanna go onto the roof for it?” Too tense to give a proper answer Sirius just nodded. James gave Lily an excusing look and the two boys went up to their dorm, climbed out of the window and onto the rooftop.
“Okay Padfoot, tell me what's bothering you,” James requested softly. Sirius took a deep breath before he managed to start talking at least two times as fast as usual.
“I know it's silly and I know I'm probably already bothering you enough with this stuff but… you know our graduation is only a week from now and everyone is asking someone out? I wanna ask Moony out but I'm hella nervous about it and I don't know what to do…”
“I can tell,” James muttered quietly. Not quietly enough though, as Sirius still punched his arm slightly and called him an “insensitive idiot”.
Picking up the original issue, Prongs said, “Pads, we both know you've been wanting to ask him out for at least a whole year now and I also know you always kept saying you would do it next time. But Sirius, just in case it's not clear to you, there isn't gonna be a next time. No next weekend at Hogsmeade, nothing; this is our graduation Sirius, it's your last chance to do it. Don't let it slip like all the others. Ask him to go to the dance with you; you would regret it if you didn’t.”
James was right of course, this was his last chance but that made it even worse to him. There wouldn't be enough time after this to fix the friendship when Remus wouldn't want to go to the dance with him.
“For two years actually. But Prongs… what do I do when he says no? What if he doesn't like me this way? Our friendship would become weird and there would barely be time to fix it. I don't wanna ruin everything y'know?” They tried to explain his fear to the other boy.
“Well, if he says no you can still act as if you wanted to go as friends, can't you?” he shrugged. “Even if I can't see why he should say no. It won’t be much of a surprise when Moony likes you the same way you like him, honestly.”
“And if he will refuse because well, we're two boys and there are a lot of people and dammit we both know he hates getting a lot of attention. Do you think people would stare at us? Not that I’d mind, of course, just thinking about Moony there.” They knew the anxious tone of their voice betrayed his words, but he wouldn't admit that.
“You wouldn’t be the only ones though. Lily told me that Marlene asked Dorcas out, so there’s no need to be worried about being THE gay couple. I don’t know why you think you’d be that interesting anyway.” James earned a stern look for this comment, but he just laughed at that, then added, “really Pads, you’re thinking too much; that’s not good for you.”
“Okay… I will do it. I can do that. Totally not scared anymore. And HOW the fuck am I gonna do this?” They hadn’t even given himself a moment to let the decision sink in and had already started panicking again. James seemed to find it hilarious though because he was laughing his head off.
“Sirius, calm down for fuck’s sake. If I managed to ask Lily out you can ask out Moony; he really isn’t that scary.”
“I never said Moony would be scary, arsehole.” He gave James a playful shove before he continued. “Besides, you definitely can't compare that! You and Lily are already dating, she would have been goin’ with you anyway. AND Moony would KILL me if I would make it a big, public thing like you did. Would definitely fit my attitude, but if I want him to say yes I’m not gonna do it like you.”
“Guess you're right about that. Maybe just ask him to talk in private then? If you won’t get it done until tomorrow, I solemnly swear I’m gonna lock you two up in our dormitory,” Prongs said, grinning mischievously.
“Bloody hell, Potter! You definitely WON’T do that, got it??” James just poked out his tongue at that.
“Don't worry about it too much mate, it's gonna be alright,” he assured him.
“Thanks for helping out Prongs,” Sirius spoke genuinely.
“Any time Padfoot.” The two lads climbed back into the dormitory. James went searching for Lily to continue their conversation. Sirius was alone in the room so he sat down on his bed and started thinking about what he wanted to say to Remus, just in case he would remember any of it when he actually had to ask him out.
---------
“So do you know who you’re going to the dance with?” Lily asked.
“No,” Remus said.
“Why not?”
“Well, it may have escaped your notice but we don’t all have boyfriends who’ve been in love with us for six and a half years,” Remus snapped.
“Geez,” Lily said. “I’m sorry I mentioned it.”
“No, I’m sorry,” Remus said. “It’s not you, I just… I’m kind of really dreading this dance.”
“What? Why?” Lily asked. “It’ll be fun.”
“No it won’t,” Remus said. “It’ll be really stupid and there will be a ton of people. I don’t know, I just don’t really want to go.”
“You’re not going?” Lily asked.
“I don’t know,” Remus said again. “Probably not.”
“What? No, Rem, come on. You have to come. it’s better than sitting in your room stressing yourself out about how you did on your N.E.W.Ts.”
“Why? It’s not like anybody will miss me. You’ll be with James. Marlene and Dorcas will be together. Peter’s probably going to ask that Hufflepuff girl to go with him and he’ll spend all night with her. And Sirius… Sirius won’t miss me. He’ll be with their date.”
“Who is Sirius going with by the way? Do you know?”
“No,” Remus said, sounding agitated again.
“Then how do you know he has a date?”
“Lils, it’s Sirius. Of course, he has a date. Literally, half the school is head over heels for them.”
“Does that half include you then?” Lily muttered under her breath.
“W–what?” Remus said.
“Nothing, nothing,” Lily sighed. “So you’re really not going?”
“I’d just be standing there alone in the corner. I’ll be even more awkward than usual.”
“You wouldn’t be alone, Remus. Do you really think we’d all ditch you just because we have dates? We’re still your friends.”
“Fair enough,” Remus said. “And thanks for the offer but as much as I would enjoy third-wheeling with you and James, it’s a hard pass.”
“Come on, Remus, there must be somebody you want to ask to the dance,” Lily insisted.
“No,” Remus muttered. “There isn’t anybody I want to go with.” But the blush on his cheeks gave him away.
“Remus, you’re a horrible liar,” Lily said. “Now spill the secret. Who do you want to ask?”
“Nobody!” Remus insisted, but his blush only deepened. “There’s no secret!”
“You know you can tell me anything, Remus. Don’t you trust me with your secret? We’ve been best friends for seven years.”
“Which is exactly why I know not to trust you with my secret,” Remus said.
“Aha! I knew there was a secret!” Lily said. “Come on, just tell me.”
“You’ll laugh at me,” Remus said. “You’ll say I’m ridiculous for suggesting it.”
“No I won’t,” Lily said. “Rem, I swear on my life, I won’t. Just tell me.”
“Fine,” Remus swallowed. “Sirius.”
“I knew it!” Lily yelled. “I fucking knew it!”
“Keep your voice down!” Remus said.
“Sorry,” she whispered. “I knew it though.”
“Great, I’m a bad liar, you proved your point,” Remus said. “Now do you see why I would be going to the dance alone?”
“No, actually, I do not,” Lily said. “You want to ask Sirius to the dance so ask him to the dance.” Remus snorted.
“Yeah, right.”
“What?”
“Lily, if I ask Sirius to the dance one of two things is going to happen. One, they’ll assume I mean as friends and I’ll look like a complete idiot. Two, they’ll turn me down and then everything will get awkward and he’ll hate me and if that happens I might just die.”
“Oh calm down, Remus,” Lily said. “You accuse Sirius of being a drama queen all the time but you’re just as bad. First of all, Sirius would never hate you—”
“You don’t know that,” Remus said.
“Yes I do,” she insisted.
“How?” he asked skeptically, crossing his arms.
“Remus, a friend who undergoes a long and complex magical transformation for the sole purpose of helping you, is not going to hate you just because you have a crush on them.” He had to admit that Lily was making a pretty good point.
“That doesn’t mean it won’t be awkward,” Remus pressed.
“You know, Remus, I actually think they might like you,” Lily said. Remus laughed but even he could hear that it sounded bitter and forced.
“Lily, please,” Remus said. “Maybe he won’t hate me but they definitely do not like me. Not the way I like him.”
“Why not?” Lily said. “I was right about you liking him, wasn’t I? So who is to say that I’m not right about them liking you?”
“Lils, have you seen Sirius? He’s way out of my league. They literally have no reason to look at me like that.”
“Remus, you do not give yourself enough credit, honestly,” Lily sighed. “So how long have you liked them?”
“Since the start of fifth year,” Remus said, not meeting her eye.
“That’s almost three years,” she said.
“It is,” Remus sighed, still not looking at her.
“Remus,” Lily started, “I really think you should talk to him.”
“Lily—”
“No, Remus, listen. Do you trust me?”
“Absolutely not.”
“Bitch,” Lily said, jabbing him in the ribs with her elbow.
“Kidding,” Remus grunted.
“So talk to him,” she insisted. Remus hesitated.
“What if he already has a date?” he asked.
“Ask them,” Lily shrugged.
“And if they do?”
“Hmm I think you know exactly what you’re going to do if Sirius already has a date and you don’t need my advice at all so I would like to propose the alternative,” Lily said. “What if he doesn’t have a date?”
“I—” Remus buried his face in his palms, “I don’t fucking know.”
“Hey,” Lily said, gently. “It’s ok. Everything will be ok, regardless of what happens, Remus. I promise.”
“I don’t want to lose him,” he said, quietly.
“You won’t,” she said. “Remus, look at me.” He did. “You won’t. You know it as well as I do. You won’t lose him, no matter what.”
“Ok,” Remus sighed. “So I guess I’m asking Sirius Black to the dance.” He felt a flutter in his stomach as he said it. He was really going to do it.
“I guess you are,” Lily said, smiling.
---------
Remus walked into the dorm and found himself alone with Sirius, who looked up as he came in.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hi.” Ask him, said a voice in his head. Lily’s voice. It was his chance; the dorm was empty, it was just the two of them. He needed to stop putting this off.
“So, um… do you have a date to the dance yet?” he asked timidly.
“Nope,” Sirius said, looking back at the floor. “Do you?”
“No,” Remus replied. “So the Sirius Black doesn’t have a date to the dance yet?” Remus added, trying to relax. Just talk, he told himself, just talk to him like you normally would.
“How’d that happen?” Sirius shrugged.
“I don’t know,” they said. “I just didn’t really fancy any of the people who asked me.”
“Is… is there someone you wanted to ask yourself?” Remus asked, heart racing in his chest. Sirius hesitated a moment before answering.
“Yes,” he said slowly.
“So why didn’t you?”
“Same reason as anybody, I suppose. I didn’t want to be turned down.”
“Pfft like anybody would turn you down,” Remus said.
“I will ask him, though.”
“When?”
“Within the next five minutes probably. What about you? Why don’t you have a date?” Well, here it goes.
“I’m hoping to,” Remus said. “Soon enough.” Maybe it was his imagination but Remus thought he saw the spark leave Sirius’ grey eyes, the smile faltering slightly on his lips.
“So who’s the lucky lad or lady who’s swept you off your feet?” Sirius asked. Suddenly some gusto of bravery possessed Remus and he took a step towards Sirius.
“Well, you know them,” he said.
“Do I, now?”
“Yep,” Remus said. “He’s in this room right now.” Sirius’ eyes darted in every direction but found Remus again when they realised that there was nobody there but the two of them.
“Wait,” Sirius said, realisation growing in his eyes. “Are—are you trying to ask me to the dance?” Remus gave a small nod.
“That,” he said, “and tell you that I… I’ve liked you for a long time now.”
“No, no, no, you can’t do that,” Sirius said. Remus ducked his head, feeling the tears filling his eyes. He knew it would end like this. It was stupid to cry when this was exactly what he had expected. But that didn’t make it hurt any less.
“Sirius, I’m so, so sorry. I never meant—”
“I was just about to ask you to the dance!” Sirius said. “You totally stole my moment!”
“I— what?” Remus said, looking up. “You… you were going to ask me to the dance?”
“Yes, I’ve been trying to all day,” Sirius said. “But I kept stalling until James told me to suck it up and just do it already.”
“Wait, I— wha— I’m so confused,” Remus said, trying to get a hold of the situation.
“You… you wanted to ask me to the dance?”
“Yes, Remus,” Sirius said, taking his hand in their own. “I wanted to tell you that I… I’ve had a crush on you since we were like fifteen and… nothing would make me happier than to go to this dance with you.”
“Really?” Remus asked.
“Yeah,” Sirius said, wiping the tears out of Remus’ eyes with his thumb. “But then you got there first.”
“Maybe next time try to be a little bit faster then,” Remus laughed.
“Fine,” Sirius said, grinning. And then before he knew it, Remus was being kissed by Sirius Black. Sirius had closed the gap between them, kissing Remus firmly on the lips. And for a moment, Remus couldn’t breathe. Because this was too good to be true. Far, far too good. Sirius wanted to go to the dance with him. And he wanted to go to the dance with Sirius. He was going to the dance with Sirius. He’s kissing Sirius right now.
---------
For the fifth and last time, Remus checked his reflection in the mirror. It hadn’t changed within the last few minutes of course, but he was nervous, really nervous.
“Calm down Remus, you look good.” It was James. He had just come out of the bathroom, finally wearing his suit too.
“Really Moony, you’re worrying too much,” Peter assured him.
All of them had decided to wear a simple, black suit but somehow they’d still managed to look completely different. Maybe it was the fact that James was wearing a normal tie, Peter was going for a bow tie and Remus himself had just left open the top two buttons of his shirt. Remus didn’t know what Sirius was going to wear, as they dressed with the girls to avoid Remus seeing him in his outfit before he was supposed to.
In less than a minute James and Remus were supposed to meet their dates in the Gryffindor common room so the three boys decided to get down there and wait for them.
As soon as they reached the common room the door of the girls’ dormitory swung open and Lily started walking down the stairs in a beautiful, emerald green, backless dress, followed by Sirius and Marlene.
Remus thought he’d faint when he saw Sirius’s outfit. He was wearing a DRESS. And they looked absolutely stunning in it. The dress was a beautiful dark blue and floor-length with a plunging V-neck and a split skirt, and he was wearing a goddamn underbust corset. It was breathtaking. He only noticed he’d been staring a bit long when Sirius was standing right in front of him, staring right back, lips slightly parted. They swallowed visibly before he said, “You look good Moony.”
His face was probably deep red, but somehow he still managed to say something.
“And you look absolutely marvellous in that dress.”
Was that possible? Sirius Black, blushing? Apparently, it was and it was cute.
They had to be at the Great Hall any minute now, so Remus took Sirius’ hand and they all started leaving the common room.
When they arrived at the Great Hall they saw that it had been entirely transformed for the event. The long house tables that were usually in the middle of the room were pushed against the walls and held a large variety of food, snacks and drinks, leaving the middle clear for students to dance. A big banner reading Class of ‘78 was strung against the back wall of the hall and there was music playing although where it was coming from remained a mystery.
Marlene and Peter spotted their dates already in the room and hurried to greet them.
“May I have this dance?” James asked Lily, kissing the back of her hand. Lily rolled her eyes but Remus noticed her blushing slightly.
“No, Potter, I came with you so that I could dance with somebody else,” she said sarcastically. “Of course you can have this dance. Come on.” And she dragged him onto the dance floor, leaving Remus and Sirius standing by the door.
“You wanna get something to drink?” Remus suggested, trying to delay the moment when he had to dance in front of everybody and make a fool of himself. Why had he come to this dance again?
“Yeah, sure,” Sirius said. They stood by the drinks table, drinking juice (yes, juice) and talking for a while but Remus saw Sirius looking wistfully at all the dancing people.
“You’re going to make me dance, aren’t you?” he said.
“Oh come on we have to dance a little,” Sirius said. “It is a dance after all.”
“But we both know that I cannot dance. Like at all.”
“Come on, babe, dance with me please,” Sirius pouted.
“Babe?” Remus said, a smirk playing on his lips.
“Um, I-I mean… uh…” Sirius stuttered, his cheeks flushed. They put their head on Remus’ shoulder, hiding his face. “Sorry.” Remus kissed the top of Sirius’ head, lingering to smell Sirius’ hair.
“Don’t be, I… I like it,” Remus said, blushing hard.
“You do?” Sirius asked.
“Yeah.”
“Ok. So will you dance with me?” Sirius asked hopefully. Remus hesitated a little before answering.
“Yeah,” he said. “I will.” And he took Sirius by the hand and pulled them into the center of the Great Hall.
Remus was right, of course. He could not dance. But he was trying. The more upbeat the songs were the more difficult but as soon as a slow song came on, Sirius wrapped him in their arms and took the lead, making it significantly easier to dance but also significantly harder to breathe.
Right now they were dancing in each other’s arms, swaying slowly to the music. Remus closed his eyes and rested his forehead against Sirius’.
“I love you, you know,” he said. “I’m in love with you.” Sirius stumbled on his feet and stopped moving.
“Really?” they asked. Remus froze, realising what he had said.
“Uh I–I mean…” Remus stuttered, “that depends, is this a good or bad reaction?”
“Good,” Sirius said, quietly. “The best.” And then he kissed Remus. There, in the middle of the great hall, in front of all their friends and all their classmates and all their teachers, Remus and Sirius stood, kissing each other like their lives depended on it, like they needed the other more than they needed oxygen. And at that moment, at that moment that Remus' lips connected with Sirius’, at that moment that Sirius slid their tongue into Remus’ mouth and pulled him closer, at that moment Remus didn’t have a care in the world. He didn’t care that people were watching, he didn’t care that he might fail his examinations, he didn’t care about the war waging outside the walls. All he cared about was Sirius and the feeling he had when they were together. As long as he had Sirius, nothing else mattered.
When they broke apart, Remus’ breaths were shallow. He held Sirius close, their foreheads pressed together, his arms around Sirius’ neck as Sirius’ hands cupped Remus’ face.
“I love you too,” Sirius whispered. He could’ve yelled it, could’ve made a scene. The whole room was watching them anyway. But this wasn’t just something for attention, Remus knew. Sirius meant it. They meant what he said. He really meant it.
“I thought you would hate me if you ever found out,” Remus said, not moving away.
“Well, then you’re an idiot,” Sirius said, “because I could never hate you. Not even if I tried.”
“Me neither,” Remus said. “I could never hate you either.” Remus knew it was true the moment he said it. But despite that, the universe decided to put him to the test. It was barely four years later when Remus was desperately trying to fall out of love with Sirius, to hate him. Because how could you love your best friend’s murderer? You shouldn’t. But apparently, he could. It took another twelve years for Remus to be able to admit that he had not hated Sirius. Not really. He thought back to the day he told Sirius that he could never hate them. He wasn’t lying that day. Remus was unsure of many things these days. Everything seemed rocky and unstable. Anything good could disappear at any moment and more often than not it did. But this he was certain of, without a shadow of a doubt: for as long he lived, he would be in love with Sirius Black. And nothing could change that.
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i-simp-for-gintoki · 3 years
Text
Visiting Yuji in Tokyo
“yuji x reader where she was childhood friends with yuji and its basically the friends to lover sort of thing? and basically reader is visiting tokyo and meets up with yuji for the first time in months?? bonus if gojo and megumi are there :)”-anon
Damn its either super short or long no inbetween huh? Sorry if this isn’t exactly what you wanted! Some of the characters are little ooc (when are they not when i write them-).This turned out much much longer than it needed to be
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You and Yuji have known each other since kindergarten
He’s such a sweet kid its always really fun to hang out with him
You guys play lots of video games together and are basically inseparable
Constantly reading manga or watching anime its great
Your parents disapproved of you hanging out with a dude all the time but you could care less
Why should you only be friends with your own gender? Thats so stupid
You always wondered about why yuji had such great strength and speed but he says he was just born that way
Hes just built different
Around middle school his grandpa’s health had dropped and was moved to the hospital
You did your best to make sure yuji stayed in good spirits and often visited the older itadori with him
He’s not the best at wording things but hes always there for emotional support
Maybe it was around 7th grade you noticed something was different around yuji
Like he himself hasn’t changed but whenever you look at him your heart just melts
Your thoughts or compliments seem more filled with love for him and thats when you realized you started to fall for him
Thinking the crush would go away you didn’t act much on it
Oh what a fool you were
Around 8th grade yuji had started acting kinda weird around you
He’d be much more easy to fluster and tenses up for a second if you ever make contact
You confronted him about it and cue the very awkward and middle school like confession
“I really like you!
You were so happy you confessed back and said that the only reason you didn’t before was because you feared to ruin your friendship
He says even if he somehow didn’t like you back that something like that wouldn’t effect anything
From then on you guys are such a wholesome couple
All the cuddles
No fancy dates just casual arcade or movie sort of things
His grandpa gave him a hard time but approved of your relationship
Throughout 8th grade summer and the beginning of highschool everything was going great
But a few months into highschool lots of things happened
Yuji’s grandpa had passed away, he and his friends in the exorcist(?) club had gotten hurt and after that night he had weird markings on his cheeks right below his eyes
And to top it all off now he was supposedly moving to tokyo??
“Yuji why are you moving away? My parents would gladly take you in you know”
He tells you he can’t explain why which breaks your heart
“Who are you staying with then??” he stops for a second and it pains him to lie to you. “A distant relative of mine, he works at a private school and thats where i will be going from now on.”
“But what about us?”
And so you guys decided to do a long distance relationship
Every night when you can you call and chat for hours
But thats not enough
You want to be held or hold him, you want to just cuddle or atleast be in the same room
It pains you to have a relationship through a screen and you grow respect for those who do
Trust isn’t an issue since you know yuji wouldnt even think to cheat at all
Probably doesnt even know what the word means
But after a few months you decide to go to tokyo for a few days
With the help of your parents you rent a room in a hotel and head there
Were just gonna pretend your parents are super super chill(and slightly uncaring like my parents would never let me) and lets you go to a whole city by yourself for several nights
You were super nervous and excited
Its your first time visiting a huge city like tokyo and its gonna be the first time you see yuji in months
Itadori was super excited that you were in tokyo
So excited that he got lost trying to head to the hotel you were staying at
After an extra hour you guys finally meet
He walks through the hotel lobby doors and gives a smile and a wave
In an instant you tackle him in a hug which he GLADLY hugs back in
After just holding each other for a while he decides to show you around
Hes still clearly learning the area himself but he’s very excited to show what he does know
“The place over here makes amazing sushi! Oh! And over here they sell little action figures! Oh oh and over here the steak is kinda bad but its cheap so its worth it! And-” you could only smile as he pointed in random directions with one hand, the other was busy holding yours
Buying food from a bunch of random vendors and wearing silly getups you guys take loads of pictures
Tons of hugs and cheek kisses
Yes its frowned upon to be touchy and stuff in public in japan but honestly you guys could care less
The sun was setting and you guys were currently sitting at a park munchkin on some crepes when you turn to him
“Yuji, do you think i could visit who your staying with? I’d hate to impose but i just wanna know if your in good hands”
His chewing pauses
Its not like he didn’t want you tell about jujutsu
But he doesn’t want you to be apart of that world, he wants you to stay as safe as possible with no harm ever headed your ways
With him being a vessel for sukuna gojo had told him that he and his friends could potentially be targeted
Theres a reason sorceres put up cloaks when engaging in battles and its so normal civilians can continue living in peace without the knowledge these monstrosities actually exist
“Mm its a bit sudden and he’s out on a mis-er meeting right now so maybe tomorrow?” he says
You frown, you can tell he’s lying but he wouldn’t do it without a reason
“Fine. But Yuji. Just know that if you ever feel unsafe or want to come back your more than welcome too. There will always be a spot for you at my home” you say hugging him
You both kinda forgot you were holding crepes and when you pulled away from each other laughed as the ice cream and sauce was smeared all over your shirts/jackets
He walks you back to the hotel and says goodnight with a kiss
The next two days went by in a flash
Just spending time with itadori, even if it was just sitting in silence has been the most fun youve had in months
He had showed you many places and has boughten many small trinkets for you to remember
Your phone has grown about 300 photos just from the past couple days with him
It was about midday of your final day in tokyo and so you both wanted to make the best of it
You both where sitting inside a cafe exchanging stories and just chatting when suddenly two people walked in the cafe
One was very tall and had spiked up white hair and was wearing a blindfold, and the other had spiky/messy black hair
You didn’t think much of it at first but did question the blindfold
‘A fashion choice?’
Turning your attention back to yuji you gave him a soft smile as you listened to his ramblings about a manga
“I love you” you said cutting him off
Immediately his face turned red and whatever he was just saying turned into stuttering nonsense
Before he could respond he let out a short yell when someone placed a hand on his shoulder
It was the two dudes who walked in from earlier
“So this is what you’ve been doing.” “Fushiguro! Gojo sensei!”
The shorter one who looks yuji’s age started talking about how it wasn’t good to turn his phone on mute and go out the whole day
The tall one gives you a wave
“Sorry to interrupt your date but we gotta take yuji away for a bit” he says grabbing yuji’s collar
“Wait who are you guys?” you ask and they pause to give short introductions
“Fushiguro Megumi.” “Gojo Satoru, nice to meet ya miss girlfriend” “How did you know??” Yuji says making gojo laugh
“Its pretty obvious, you didn’t do much of a job hiding it” he says pulling yuji a little bit more.
“O-Oh im L/n Y/n, nice to meet you” you say realizing you forgot to introduce yourself
As the three chatted along with each other, you sat in silence as you tried to remember where you heard gojo’s name from
‘Oh yeah, he’s the one who yuji described as his relative. Even if it was really fast since he tends to change subjects whenever i ask’
“Wait Gojo? White hair...blind fold..are you Yuji’s relative?” you ask making both of them pause
They both turn towards yuji who gave a sheepish smile
“Thats me, im his mothers little cousin” Gojo said, a very quick and random asspull
“So why does he call you Gojo-sensei instead of uncle…Satoru?” “Well if im his moms cousin that would make me his cousin once removed wouldn’t it? And he calls me sensei since im a teacher at a school he goes to”
“And what about you?” you ask the other boy
“A classmate.” he says in a very short and uninterested tone
“Welp lets go” Gojo says dragging yuji but he quickly resists
“Wait wait! Sensei can i please stay? Today is her last day here and i don’t know when i will be able to see her again”
The teacher and student stares at each other for a long time
You have literally no clue what the blindfolded man could but thinking its so hard to read him
Then again you just met him so
Gojo sighs and lets go of yuji
“Just this once, and only because im the greatest sensei you’ve ever had. Lets go megumi. See ya miss girlfriend” gojo says walking away with a wave
Megumi looks surprised but follows him “really?” “Yeah yeah its fine, its only a couple of grade 3’s anywa…” as their voices faded when they left the building you gave yuji a look
“Are you going to get in trouble?” “im probably going to die in training…” “huh?” “nothin”
The rest of the day you guys hang out and its mmm
Yuji would be such a good boyfriend hes so wholesome
When its time for you to part he give you a big hug, kiss and ‘i love you’
You do the same and tear up a bit
With one final photo you head back to your home town
You make it a mission to visit tokyo more often and yuji tries to visit you whenever he can from then on
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tigerdrop · 4 years
Note
dogboy gordon rutting against benreys leg in the same way that benrey did it in the reverse. benrey encouraging him and also making fun of him in the same breath. yummy brain thoughts. i am rotating this
jesus christ i started thinking about dogboy gordon and have not stopped thinking. theres 7k words of dogboy stuff under here im going insane
how in the. help. Help. dog boy. how does he become dogboy. i cant keep giving these idiots potions but i guess thats what ive been reduced to
gman turns him into a dog boy. walks thru a portal and comes out in nintendogs but hes the dog and when he comes back out again hes still a little bit dogy. this is fucking stupid
THE TAIL WAGGING im going to pass away
> i think he would have such fucking issues with the fact that his tail and ears are expressing his emotions so much
trying to act angry towards benrey but hes given away by his tail wagging like crazy......and he never even knows its happening until somebody points it out
it would be cool if. um. he got a little more into roughhousing and rough play afterward. you know. like a . hes already really handsy......physical. . .. .
> okay like the anger turning into somewhat-serious jostling and pushing which turns into roughhousing
its not even horny at first it just gives him the weirdest fucking endorphins. like. its fucking fun man
> and by the time theyre roughhousing his tail is wagging furiously and like thumping on the floor when he gets pinned haha
> YES its about the exhilaration ......he gets this rush from flipping benrey over after he's pinning him, baring his teeth triumphantly
benrey pinning him by his wrists and half-laughing at him like "what the fuck is wrong with you??" and the rest of the science team chimes in like YEAH WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS WHAT WAS THAT
> gordon comes back to himself and turns red immediately and splutters like "i dont know! what - im just - benrey started it!” so like he refuses to do it again but then benrey pushes his buttons and he gets in his face, ears pinned back a bit and shoves him and benreys like oh...so its this again huh...
GOD......PUSHING HIS BUTTONS.......its sooo much fun now that gordons so physically reactive too
> what if he manages to get an honest to god growl out of gordon at one point and it makes something ugly twist in benrey's gut and he wants to make it happen again
and its probably really gratifying for him to see just how often gordons tail wags when gordon looks at him or snorts at one of his jokes
TWO SIDES
> the duality of their relationship....gordons tail wagging just a bit when hes looking at benrey though im
> im thinking about the growling though like...benrey gets fixated on how he fucking sounds, all deep and rumbly and this intensity just focused on benrey only....makes him think about how that would look in other contexts....
> benrey riling him up while their roughousing so he can feel that growl travel through his chest and like...getting gordon to that point makes him SO determined to win the "fight" over benrey hes almost a bit out of his mind with it......pins benrey and subconsciously ruts against him a bit as a sign of dominance....please stop me now goodbye....
NO LITERALLY THATS WHAT I WAS THINKING ABOUT THE MOMENT I STARTED TYPING
prodding gordon further and further and riling him up until gordon pins him to the floor, hard, an arm jammed behind his back and his HEV suit jammed up against benreys ass and rutting subconsciously as gordon. h. gordon. clamps down on the back of his neck and growls
benrey sucks in a rattling gasp and is like "what? ow" in a weirdly shocked yet distanced way
he cant feel where gordons hard b/c of the HEV suit but he can feel the metal awkwardly bumping against his ass Like That. and inwardly benreys on a loop of "what the fuck what the fuck" but not in a bad way in the slightest. just utterly cannot believe this is whats happening, right now, gordon freeman dry humping his ass behind a bunch of crates, not 100 feet from the rest of the science team
> gordon snapping out of it and being like...what the fuck am i doing... or....maybe the gasp makes gordon bite down harder in response...not sure
> gordon not even realizing hes doing it until that moment is so great....i dont know but....maybe he lets go and pushes off benrey, panting and wild eyed, and the image of benrey on his stomach, his bite mark in his neck, is burned into his brain
> he just doesnt say fucking anything and just dips to get jacked off by the suit maybe.... cant stop thinking about how it felt to see benrey with his teeth marks....hates himself for feeling that sick satisfaction in his chest
benrey......touching the back of his neck afterwrds, kind of dream-like, both consciously and subconsciously.......
i like making gordon freeman suffer so i want him to just angrily try to rut against his arm in private later trying desperately to get off thru this stupid busted HEV suit that he cant get out of. pathetic. gordon freeman humping his own fucking arm in a bathroom stall. like a dog
and he thinks about how benrey smelled when he had his teeth clamped on the back of benreys neck, his nose buried right against benreys jaw and neck, smelling the sweat and the hormones and feeling benreys rapid heartbeat, and his whole fucking head throbs with how bad he wants to get off
> and he just cant get off....has to deal with going back the team tense and a bit sweaty and just move on when they ask what happened. benrey doesnt say anything just stares at him and gordon cant meet his eyes. gordon tries not to fucking let benrey get under his skin cause i think hes probably mad upset and embarassed that he reverted to his like,,,more base instincts because of BENREY of all people.....
> but he still thinks about it sometimes and....he tries to distance himself from him but hes still a pretty touchy guy and he find himself around benrey still....laughing at his jokes and getting in his space once in a while. always pulls himself away when he notices but not before he takes in a deep breath of benrey's scent...
> meanwhile benreys trying to think of how to make gordon do that shit again LOL
ohmy god. oh my god.....before this.....before he tries to stop getting in benreys business and before he even recognizes what hes doing.......he like.....hes so touchy feely that he subconsciously tries to mark benrey a lot. like just doing everything in his power to rub the inside of his wrists somewhere on him. even if its barely gonna do anything b/c of the suit. its just instinct
> NOW HE ...now he realizes that he was doing that the whole time..jesus,...
> AUGH....in the buildup before this he didnt realize that he was doing it........but now he realizes he fucking misses doing that shit and kind of berates himself for doing it in the first place....like what the fuck....be Normal gordon...you cant want to fuck him....do you..?
i want him to. grrgohg i dont even know how or why this would happen but i want gordon freeman to lie supine on the ground with his hands up like paws like hes a big pupy looking for tummy rubs OKAY! BYE. I HAVE TO GO. im going to fucking sob why am i like this why is this the cutest possible thing for a man to do. i cant even think of a fucking reason why he would do this so im so fucking embarrassed
i want to fucking. i want to rub his fucking tumy and make him pop a boner from it im literally so sick of this earth
> i was literally Just typing: i just think it would be cool . To pet his tummy and keep telling him "good boy" in a Certain kind of Tone that just totally fucks him up about it . maybe flushed and tongue starting to wanna hang out of his mouth as he goes from laying flat on his back to kinda twisted to one side, breathing heavy, tail thumping hard against the floor cause hes a big dog so that thing is like a lethal weapon
> petting the fuzzy lower belly while hes already hard & needy just to make him whine Very high pitched and desperate-sounding bc its so close to what he wants but that just makes it worse 8)
> What if. Benrey pinning Gordon, maybe scritches behind his ear, as a "joke", he's a dog haha good boy wants ear scritches?? And Gordon immediately squirming and whining. Maybe even kicking his leg just a little bit
> i think it would be cool for a post-black mesa puby gordon pinned benrey to the floor with his whole body weight and humped the life out of benrey's leg while panting and drooling in benrey's ear. a total lack of regard for benrey, (of course he's into it tho) just using him like an object that's conveniently there for him to furiously get off on
> i'm thinking.... this happening after a period of prolonged teasing, like you said. rubbing his tummy and ignoring his dick
> Man ok combined with the suit edging huh? I love that, but i also kinda want gordon to sneak off to get off and discover his uh. k. kn. knot
> he sneaks off and if in this situation he can.  idk. get at his dick in a bathroom or whatever. and well, he gets caught up so easily in his 'head empty' instincts mode that when he cums he's kneading that thang for like 2 minutes before he even becomes cognizant enough to notice. and then immediately panic. so idk maybe he cant get at himself for a while, right, so he didnt notice this
> i just think gordon being in the suit would not let him get at his dick and he would only be able to get off in really convoluted ways so like...he wouldnt fucking Know he had a knot he would just feel a weird pressure at the base that he doesnt know what its about. but he starts getting these fantasies of holding benrey down and staying in him when he comes and he doesnt know where the hell thats coming from.....yet. until after everything is over and he can get out of it, and the first time he jacks off again he realizes HOLY FUCK? like what the hell....but it makes sense in retrospect where those fantasies came from. but hes just super embarassed about those fantasies and pushes them down until benrey comes back into his life and activates him again
> in addition to embarassment i think he has a lot of complicated feelings about benrey and definitely feels a guilty about wanting to fuck him into the ground and fill him with cum....but GOD if benrey doesnt get to him just as much as he did in black mesa
> i think that something like this would be so unplanned and shit but like......theyve probably hung out a few times before this or more like maybe benrey has dropped into his house just to annoy him and gordon finds his ears pricking when he hears heavy footsteps around his house cause he recognizes them as benrey's...
> little rush of exhilaration maybe. cause it means they'll spend some time together and he has just all these emotions under his skin when they do. i dont know how this would happen but maybe gordon forgets to keep himself in check when benrey makes him laugh so hard he's snorting and his tail is wagging furiously.benrey tries to touch/catch his tail cause he's kinda curious about it and it never got to mess with it in black mesa. but it turns into roughhousing as gordon shoves him away a little bit but benrey keeps trying to get at it and then get at his ears
> "cmon man just let me touch them whats the big deal-" "NO!" but like hes still laughing a bit until they start really getting into it and he gets breathless and a little irritated at having to roll around and try to pin benrey's hands to the floor
hell on earth......the way his tails wagging and hes grinning and drooling a little once he gets benrey pinned.......
> little triumphant smile when he finally does.....got benrey on his stomach and he's subconsciously rutting against benrey's ass like in black mesa but hes just not noticing while he's berating benrey for losing
> talking right into his ear, and benrey lets out a little gasp when he does a particularly hard thrust and then hes like oh. fuck. he takes in a deep breath and can smell benrey's sweat and realizes hes just as horny about this as he is. cant help but bury his face in the back of his neck and lick. and benrey starts pushing back into him and talking the worst dirty talk and it makes him growl right against his neck and put his teeth there again as a warning not to move but benrey doesnt still, he just keeps talking. so gordon bites down, hard, cutting him off mid sentence with a yelp
f. fucking. benrey......arching his back into it.......pressing his hips up as high as theyll go......the angles bro.....the angles
> also: gordon popping boners more easily, even when he's just platonically excited w/ benrey..... yeah... :)
> like the thing about this is just that he got so excited from the wrasslin that he popped a boner....wasnt even thinking of horny.....
> not until benrey started gasping and arching back into him. then hes immediately aware of how this looks...like hes already basically in the position in his fantasies hes just rutting against him in the imitation of fucking
> gordon getting more frenzied by the little sounds benrey is making as he clamps down on his neck, drool dripping down his chin. benrey braces himself with one hand and gets the other to pull his pants down and then tug on the leg of gordon's down a bit because gordon is kind of. not thinking straight right now. gordon gets the message and fumbles with the buttons to get it down and like. haha i thinnk it would be fun if benrey prepped himself before this and gordon notices like. you really managed to prep urself this time? god, you really wanted this to happen. but maybe benrey had been doing it the last few times cause gordon would get in his space again sometimes and things were tense
NO GOD THIS IS GOOD. LIKE. oh my god gordon just like bitching at him and getting up in his face and Growling a couple times before while his pants are all tented from the inadvertent excitement boners that he doesnt even realize hes having.....and benrey might not be smart but hes not stupid
theres like a 50% chance theyre gonna fuck at any given time he realizes so like. why not......
even if it doesnt work out in the moment benrey still spends the whole time hopped up on the knowledge that they could have, that he was the little fucking pervert who got himself all prepped just in case gordon decided todays the day hes just gonna mount him, and honestly the way he beats his meat and fucks himself afterwards might be nearly as good as the real deal, just from that little bit of self-inflicted degradation
like u said...........he really wanted it to happen
> hhh.... maybe gordon ruts a bit against his ass and benrey guides him in and. he makes a deep growling rumble when he bottoms out. benrey feels it through his chest and gets a full body shiver as he's filled. i dont think hes fully developed his knot yet but its a tight fit. he starts fucking hard and fast into him while open mouthed panting, he cant keep his face away from the benrey's neck, licking up the sweat and burying his face there to breathe in his scent
the fucking . the desperation......every instinct in his body has been telling him to fuck benrey - yes, that benrey, fucking benrey - into the ground for......weeks now? months??
dudes probably tried everything he can think of to overcome it and to think about literally anything else when he gets off but nobody he fucks even comes close to smelling as good as benrey did when gordon had him pinned and gasping and sweating and he could smell the want rolling off him in waves.....and it sucks massive dick and he hates it
> hes been driven crazy by this thought for so long.....cant fucking control himself. wh. what if gordon managed to get a hold of a piece of benrey's clothes that he left and held it up to his face when he let himself jack off to this particular thought so he could get the scent but it jsut wasnt the same without his warm, panting body below him . he always nuts the hardest when he has it though
huffing benreys undershirt and desperately rutting into a pillow on his hands and knees with his ass fully up and hes just utterly debased right now
sad and pathetic gordon freeman humping his pillow like a dog and whining thinking about fucking benrey. if his past self could see himself like this right now he would be disgusted
> !!!!!!!!1 HIM GETTING INTO THE MOUNTING POSITION ON INSTINCT WHEN HE DOES IT...YOUR BRAIN ! i think that gordon would definitely give everything hes got to benrey when he finally gets to fuck him.
> now that hes actually doing it he's just out of his goddamn mind. benrey already being ready for him, slick and hot, just letting him push in .....i think he would definitely go insane
dudes never fucked so hard or so mindlessly in his life......for once all the neuroses just fly out the window. overcome by instinct
> letting out all these whines and moans, not even caring for how loud hes being... benrey's wanted this so fucking bad hes just eating it up, pushing back on him like an animal and getting a power trip that he made gordon this unhinged
thinking about him just being utterly shocked when benrey guides him in and he can just bury himself all the way to the hilt so easily and it makes something in his brain snap
> gordon doesnt even tell benrey when hes close, benrey can just start to feel his knot swell inside him and how it stretches him a bit past what he prepared for...but he wants it in him so fucking bad, he just lets gordon keep fucking into him
like. oh my god. does benrey even know about the knot or is this a brand new and fun surprise for him
> I DONT KNOW......I JUST REALLY LIKE THE THOUGHT OF HIM BEING A BIT CAUGHT OFF GUARD BY IT....
> being caught off guard by it but being so turned on by the feeling of it filling him that he lets out this really high, needy sound. which goes straight to gordon's dick and he just pushes into him harder and jolts his whole body with it. maybe he h....he bites down on the other side of his neck again and thrusts in one more time before coming deep in him. just shuddering from it, eyes squeezed shut and jaw locked around benrey
benrey just fuckin. face down ass up and arching his back as high as he can
(mumbling very quietly) it might be cool also if. gordon maybe.....started growling some things as he got close. a certain something. a word
you know......just......bent over benreys back......arms wrapped around benreys chest and fingers digging into the soft flesh (maybe even his titties, if youre feeling spicy).......pistoning his hips in staccato bursts while he growls.........u bh hhhhh......"mine". over and over not even realizing hes doing it b/c his brain is so fogged out on the sheer delight of rawing benrey after having thought about it non-stop
(mumbling so quietly im speaking at a pitch below the human hearing threshold) benrey hoarsely saying "'m yours, 'm yours" while hes got one hand jammed underneath himself to tug at his dick is the thing that sets gordon off and makes him come, perhaps. perhaps
and gordon just.....slumps over him, leaning his full body weight on him, panting weakly into his ear while his hips subconsciously rut just a little bit, arms still wrapped around benrey but otherwise as useless as a bump on a log while benreys jerking himself off to the wild new feeling of having that knot stretch him open and tug at him every time gordon shifts his hips
gordon nuts and becomes utterly useless but at least his knots still fat as hell so benreys still got something to work with
(sobbing) i just want to see men acting like animals leave me olone..... its about the submission to instinct......the degradation and dehumanization......and also the scent kink its all about the fucking scent kink. its about wanting to huff a guy you pretend you hate like hes a fucking magic marker and its about wanting to make him smell like u
> for scent kink, Gordon's boners due to sweaty benrey hehehehe. this is narsty -> Benrey is like "yeesh that was a lot of exertion" after their first almost-sex wrasslin match, and gets embarassed, so next time he like, wears a bunch of old spice.... but gordon doesn't get as excited. like yeah he can feel him against his back and yeah he's not soft but.. he's not panting or as hard. benrey thinks real hard when he gets home
> CLEAN SWEAT OK ITS A COMBATIBILITY THING OK. IT IS. LOOK UP THE SCIENCE OK I ...walks away. clown shoez
YOU ARE SO FUCKING CORRECT THANK U
> Maybe next time He doesn't bother with the old spice at all, and he gets real into the wrasslin... hell maybe he even uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh gets gordon's head under his arm im just saying
I DIDNT WANNA BE THE ONE TO SAY IT BUT NO YEAH THATS COOL. ITS A VERY COOL THOUGHT
think about......dogboy gordon roughhousing and getting pinned down himself and snapping his teeth up at benrey like joking but not joking. you know
they both start just getting really into roughhousing b/c sometimes gordons brain gets Stressed The Fuck Out by all the added stimulation to the senses of being pupy......theres too many sounds and smells sometimes and it makes him even more neurotic and makes him start acting up and getting irritable and trying to start shit until he exerts himself enough to tire his brain out and make it shut up
maybe even like.....in the interim after black mesa but before he runs into benrey again, gordon becomes a fucking hot mess b/c he doesnt know how to deal with it all and the only way he got thru black mesa without his brainstem snapping in half was b/c he and benrey would start shit and start fighting and wrestling and the rest of the science team eventually shrugged and accepted this as a (very weird) part of their life now. he looks like hes one minor inconvenience away from a panic attack and its so sad
any kind of physical exercise would help (he takes up jogging when hes feeling stressed out, which is a lot, and hes gotten some really nice legs by this point) but theres just something different about the roughhousing. its a mental exercise as well as a physical one, so it exhausts his brain more, and unbeknownst to him, he just gets fucking endorphins from the way benrey smells and from being able to mark him with all the up-close physical contact theyre getting. so. hence the wrestling and roughhousing and gordons occasional tendency to just pounce the guy in public and start fighting him with his tail wagging and thumping like crazy
it might be even better if gordon attempts to roughhouse with just about the whole science crew at some point, just for a point of comparison
like.....its usually good, its satisfying, and it wears him out and lets him function like a human being......but theres just something about roughhousing with benrey thats really satisfying and he doesnt have the emotional intelligence to figure out what it is
gordon freeman is an idiot, is what im saying
> tommy indulges him and probably lets him win a few times, coomer soundly wins out every time and bubby probably...loses some before getting pissy LOL. i think that its fun for him to get the most Good Feelings out of roughhousing with benrey.....
AUUUUGHHH WHAT IF HE LICKED BENREYS FACE THO
g gbfbhhh god im obsessed with the way benrey laughs at him and asks "what the fuck is wrong  with you?" in the act 3 commentary and thats the exact kind of vibe im feeling from him about like. everything gordon does in pupymode
> Okay, before I go to bed, I shall leave you with a Dog Thought™. Gordon probably wouldn’t be the “best trained” dog in the world because, well, he doesn’t have anyone to make him listen or obey. Heck, given his need to be in control, he probably thinks he’s the leader of the proverbial pack and nobody can tell him what to do. He’d probably slip and do quite a few “rude” and obnoxious dog things, including but not limited to being all over Benrey.
> Trying to goad him into roughhousing. Licking his face. Being in his space to the point that it even starts to make Benrey raise an eyebrow. Inappropriate marking and whatnot. [cough] And what if Benrey--in a weird reversal of the roles we usually give--is stuck with the task of… training Gordon… to behave…
> YOU KNOOOOW. Because pitting alpha dog Gordon against Benrey, who is trying to get him to be “good”...
> … Well, that could be interesting.
> Imagine if you will: Benrey realizing he needs to get Gordon under control. As much as he likes the attention, it's becoming too much. Relentless. Tables have been turned and now he's the one that's a little overwhelmed by the situation because, well, Gordon is running on pure instinct half the time. Making it hard to do things. Making it hard to live his life. Always in his bubble which was, like, fine at first but now he can't do anything without feeling a wet tongue on his face or having Gordon trying to goad him into rough housing.
> He needs so much attention. Has so much energy. It's too much.
> So, he decides he's going to try to "train" Gordon to not... do that. Benrey trying to assert dominance over Gordon, as if he were just a normal dog. Gordon, who has already marked Benrey and decided that Benrey belongs to him does not take to this very well. This is not how the chain of command works. This isn't how the chain of command works at all.
> Benrey, struggling to curb him through praise and admonitions--"good boy," "bad boy," tossing him ~treats~ if he does something right--is now facing off with Gordon, who is both enamored with the attention he's getting but utterly pissed off by the fact Benrey is trying to stop him from doing what he wants.
losing it at the tables being turned and now gordons the annoying fucker getting up in benreys business all the time and never leaving him alone. he deserves this
> They're basically both unmovable objects and unstoppable forces. Benrey is stubborn and isn't going to give up all his sweet PS3 time because Gordon won't stop humping his leg, and Gordon is not going to give up his God given right to make Benrey his property. But Benrey isn't completely averse to the idea of being Gordon's bitch. He just wants to be his bitch on his own terms.
> So, in a surprising show of... well, intelligence on Benrey's behalf, he starts redirecting Gordon's energy towards what HE wants Gordon to do.
> That's how you handle misbehaving dogs anyway. You redirect their energy. That's what all the books on dog training says anyway, and Benrey's inclined to believe it because he's read it in all two books on the subject he casually flipped through.
> So, when Gordon starts getting in his space, he starts redirecting him to touch where he wants touched. "Good boy." When Gordon starts getting a little rough, he purposefully positions himself so he gets the most out of it. "Good boy." When Gordon's licking his face, he starts trying to guide that tongue down to his neck. Feels better there. "Good boy."
> Because he's not a complete idiot. Him and Gordon both know this is sexually charged at this point. And Gordon... Gordon can bend his behaviors a little bit as he's being directed if he still gets to do what he wants (in a way), and Benrey still gets to be fondled by the nerd.
> "But part of the problem is that he is in Benrey's space all the time!" Yeah, but Benrey figured that out, too. You know what shuts up Gordon real fast? Pushing him back down on the other end of the couch and telling him to stay. And if he listens, he slowly, carefully hand feeds Gordon a treat as a reward. Pushing it into his mouth, making sure it goes all the way in. Letting Gordon lick the last bits of taste off of his fingers. He usually sits still after that. "Good boy."
i have a thought thats almost unrelated but im so desperate to give this scenario the proper context
thinking about......gordon getting out of black mesa and hes still dogboy.....and hes attempting to go back to life as normal now that benreys out of his hair for ever but one day his pupy nose catches That Fucking Smell on the air and he realizes that benreys not fucking dead. he thought benrey was fucking dead, b/c he killed him
gordon freeman losing his mind for a solid week or two trying to hunt that smell down (why?? to prove a point?? to try to kill benrey again??? uh huh.) and then when he does hunt benrey down, its like.....well, what was the plan, bud? you found him, and now youre having a staredown outside a 7/11 while benreys frozen halfway through his big gulp
i literally forgot what i was typing b/c dogy gordon tum y rub b gtfhgbb ggfabgbbg
and.....well......he doesnt know exactly what his game plan was, but he does know that benrey cant be trusted as far as u can throw him, and hes not about to let benrey wreak havoc on new mexico if he can help it, so now his new hobby is......tracking benrey across the city to keep an eye on him
and thats how they keep ending up in close proximity
and thats how u start looping in the whole role reversal thing.....suddenly gordons the one that benrey cant shake......hes a bloodhound and hes got the scent
SORRY im SORRY i crave context with the same ferocity that i crave, like, air
and then they start roughhousing when gordon tackles him to the ground one day to stop him from doing.....something......and gordon snaps being to being a normal person so quickly afterwards that its dizzying. turns out a solid 80% of what he really wanted was a sparring buddy
> good afternoon everyone this is not horny in the slightest but i just wanted to say- you know that thing dogs do where they get REALLY excited and playful when you come home from a long day at work? well i’m just thinking about. y’know how benrey has a tendency to just, vanish for a while and come back like nothing happened? think it’d be cute if he were gone for a particularly long stretch of time b4 catching up with the science team again and gordon RESPONDS in his typical annoyed, bratty fashion while his body language is saying something completely different (he still hasn’t mastered the art of puby)
> like, u know, tail wagging a hundred miles a minute, ears perked up and attentive, subconsciously getting all up in benrey’s space
Im going to Cry thats so fucking cute wtf wtf  wt ff
still going insane thinking about the “good boy” thing......like...... its all fun and games until hes grappling his best friend benrey and hes got benrey in a headlock and hes plastered against benreys back from head to toe and his tails thumping excitedly against the floor and hes panting hot and harsh right against benreys ear and benrey takes that moment, right there, to choke out "good boy"
its half outright horny and half power play b/c benreys banking that either theyre gonna fuck or gordons gonna let go and be like "what the fuck, man" and then benrey can get the drop on him again
the way gordon just goes stiff after he says it.....breath getting shaky.....dick twitching once against benreys ass and the guy can fucking feel it clear as day......Augh
his tail slows.....and then fires right back up again when he tentatively rocks his hips against benreys ass and feels the sound benrey makes more than he hears it......and like for fucks sake theyve been dancing around how horny their roughhousing sessions are for weeks, this guy deserves to finally get his rocks off by dry humping benreys ass while benreys getting spots in his vision from how tightly gordons got his arm wrapped around his neck. he deserves this
gordons free hand slowly opening up and pressing flat against benreys shirt, then crawling under it so that he can feel the bare skin of his stomach......rocking his hips against the dip between benreys cheeks and whimpering when benrey says it again, breathless and hoarse. "good boy." his tongue poking out to lick a broad, wet stripe up the side of benreys neck to taste the salt and sweat and the hormones, jesus christ, hes never been able to taste if somebodys horny before but its rolling off of him in waves.......and gordons breath comes out so loud and harsh and desperate when benreys leg lifts up a little bit for him to slot his own between them more easily
just mumbling stupid horny shit like "fuck benrey, you taste so good" while his tongue lolls out of his mouth and he licks the curve of benreys ear and rolls benrey onto his stomach b/c something in the back of his brain is whispering to him that it would be a really, really good idea, and hes originally got benrey just crushed flat against the floor with his full body weight but benrey takes a rattling breath and tells him to ease up, get up offa him.....
and gordons confused at this point b/c he was pretty sure this was where this was going, he was being a good boy, but that thought doesnt last very long b/c benreys shuffling into position under him, raising his hips and pushing gordons up with him while his face and torso are flat against the floor, and, Oh. hes. hes doing that. this is what theyre fucking doing now
> gordon taking the collar of benrey’s shirt in his mouth in an crude imitation of scruffing him
every fucking bone in gordons body is telling him to move his hips, fuck benrey stupid, bury himself to the hilt, but he cant do that when theyre both still clothed so he does the next best thing and ruts against benrey like he fucking means it and like if he just tries hard enough, gets enough friction, itll be just like fucking him for real......
hes so dizzied by looping thoughts of he wants this, he wants you to mount him, like youre a filthy fucking animal, arent you? you sick fuck, you wanna mark him and breed him and hed let you, hed beg you for it, look, hes doing it right now and when he comes back down to earth, yeah, benrey is begging right now, isnt he. while hes palming at the front of his sweatpants and whimpering and calling gordon a good boy, attempting to tug his pants down to his knees so gordon can rut against bare flesh, and gordon slows down just enough to let him do it and to fumble open his own zipper to ease some of the agonizing pressure
gordon fumbling his dick out of his underwear to line it up between benreys fat cheeks and god, the feeling of skin against skin is so much fucking better than chafing against his jeans that it makes him growl against benreys neck and benrey cant pump his fucking dick fast enough. hes so encouraging, what with all those little sounds hes making and the way hes arching his back and pressing his hips up as high as theyll go, groaning into the crook of his arm "fuckin, fuck me, bro, j-just like that"
> thinking...... they both get so lost in it, they both can’t hold back long enough to fuck for real. this is too hot, benrey feels something hot and wet on his ass and gordon is curling into him. benrey’s never felt so simultaneous turned on and frustrated that he’s still empty, he’s still gonna have to wait, snd ironically that denial pushes him over too
GOD yes fuckin. coming on his ass b/c gordons so frantic and desperate that he cant wait...... but seeing his cum all over benreys ass is deeply satisfying in its own way. he smears it deep into benreys skin to mark him like that
> oh hey imma be nasty sorry but Gordon all cum-high just sort of manouvering Benrey until he can start licking his cock clean bc he likes to uh. i mean benrey's all wet and you know. he likes it. and benrey comes from that, before he can even think about sucking him off properly
> he doesnt have a thought left in his head at the moment... and can u blame him? so he just uh follows he nose.......  and benrey's brain is deleted except for "GORDON FREEMAN ON MY DICK????????" bouncing around like a screensaver yes
> yeah he's not even trying to suck him off really, hes not gotten that far yet cuz hes so cumbrained, gone stupid, etc
im gonna be gross here too okay......and like. fucking. huffing and burying his nose into the crook of benreys thighs b/c he smells so intensely like sex and sweat and it makes gordon lightheaded
> YEAAH maybe he starts licking there before he gets up to his dick. it's not like he's dragging it out really so it's not long but benrey's gaping like a fish. he's trying to say something sorta but he can't get any words out and isn't even sure what he himself is trying to say
maybe he cant help himself and he just starts licking and biting on impulse b/c its your resident fuckin thigh guy here and i think benrey deserves to get em chomped like a drumstick
> and then that's gordon's tongue on his dick, bro and this neurotic mf looking so pleased and blissed out as he sloppily licks him all over is a sight he couldn't have even cooked up in his imagination before now
> benrey not coherently enough to warn him he’s like right there, his babbling incoherently at the tease of gordon’s nose and lips is gonna make him- and then his Tounge darts out and it’s over, the start of the end and he’s spurting all over gordon’s completely surprised face without even being jerked or licked through it
> maybe since gordon's been so stressed and keyed up for so long that benrey coming is a surprise but still doesn't shock him enough to clear the cumbrain, so he licks ben clean after that too, while he's twitching and whimpering etc
> think that benrey massive meat being useless and barely even touched is hip and rad even in the context of him technically being in the higher position of power
> then rests his head on beny's belly for a while, feeling very accomplished and tired. he'll panic later, don't worry
god im still thinking about. pillow humping/voyeurism
gordon freemans a bad fucking dog and sometimes he cant help himself and just starts rutting into a pillow with his ass up and his face buried in one of benreys undershirts while hes just panting and mumbling shit the whole time about benrey, benrey, benrey, why is he so fucking obsessed with benrey and with thinking about mounting him just like hes doing to his poor abused pillow every week
and. you know. maybe one day......benrey kind of.....catches him in the act. i think that would be cool. just coming home one day and cracking open his bedroom door and seeing gordon freeman on all fours, his teeth sunk deep into one pillow and another pillow between his thighs, desperately fucking it while hes groaning benreys name b/c he sure as shit was not expecting him back that early, which is why his cumbrain made him feel confident enough to crawl into benreys bed and roll around in it and mainline benreys scent from his clothes and nut on his pillow (and then feel fucking bad about it and frantically try to clean it off)
and benrey just slooowly steps back with his heart pounding out of his chest for possibly the first time in his whole life b/c he did not think gordon freeman ever wanted to fuck him, but here he is, using benreys pillow as an imitation of the real thing and jerking off in his bed
just turns right the fuck back around and goes into the bathroom and splashes some water on his face and stares down at his sudden boner
THANKS FOR READING ALL OF THIS B/C THIS ISNT EVEN GETTING INTO THE PISS STUFF THAT WEVE OBVIOUSLY BEEN THINKING ABOUT. SORRY FOR BEING LIKE THIS
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yandere-daydreams · 4 years
Note
*slams fists on table* /PLEASE/ more incubus. im not horny im intrigued
Aren’t we all? Here’s the first part, if anyone’s interest, but all you should really have to know is our incubus, Alastor, seems to have quite a few commitment issues, and the Reader-Insert isn’t really helping by doing things like ‘staying mentally stable’ and ‘not wanting to go to hell with him’.
TW: Mentions of Bodily Harm, Bondage, and Emotional Manipulation.
~
He was already watching when you opened your eye.
Alastor was a voyeur at the best of times, a witness to your misery who only took the occasional break to make his delight with your current state of captivity known. Sometimes he appeared when your dream was about to turn into a nightmare, and other times he didn’t, letting you stumble your way through a fight or fall or breakdown with no other option, no escape. More often the latter than the former, recently. You hadn’t seen him, really seen him, in a few weeks… or, what felt like weeks, at least. Time seemed more concrete than it had, at first. More uniform, as if he’d finally taken the care to measure it out.
As if you were starting to get used to being trapped in your own head.
You didn’t say anything when you saw him, your pain from your last ‘dream’ still lingering just underneath your skin. Alastor wasn’t smiling, simply sitting cross-legged on the bare concrete floor an arm’s length away, his gaze unfaltering and his lips pressed together so tightly, you wondered if someone finally sewed them shut. You tried not to pay him any mind, glancing around the darkened space instead. Warehouses were a familiar sight by now, open and empty, with no furniture or clutter to stop your short, shallow breaths from echoing off the walls. You were sitting on something - a chair, double your age and half as stable, the wood creaking as you tried to stand, only to be pulled back into it its seat. Leather belts wrapped around your wrists and ankles, keeping your arms behind the chair’s back and your legs bound to stiff, unrelenting beams, more sturdy than they’d seemed during your half-hearted investigation. You couldn’t find it in yourself to be surprised.
It was only a matter of time until Alastor saw fit to trap you physically, too.
You looked towards him, speaking through grit teeth. “Alright, whatever. I’ll bite.” You nodded towards the restraints, and the dark, obscured walls. They looked a little further than they had, last time, but changing scenery was the least of your concerns. “What’s the gimmick this time? Are you going to flood the building and watch me drown? Or, are we just going to sit here until I get bored enough to talk to you?”
He blinked, pausing before he spoke, a hand coming up to run through his hair. It was more disheveled, today, falling loose around his shoulders and curling at odd angles, a stark difference from his usual combed, collected disposition. You almost smirked, proud to see him so disheveled. To know you were the reason behind his frustration, however limited its effect seemed to be.  
“It’s hell,” He mumbled, more to himself than to you. “I mean, it’s not hell, I’ve been there, but this-” He waved towards you vaguely, and you did you best not to glare. “-is hell. I spent this long between meals since… since those witch trials, I think. Everyone was going on about demon children and ‘falling from grace’, it wasn’t a great time to try and tempt a stranger.”
It was a sobering reminder, one you tried not to linger on. You were a meal to him, you never tried to delude yourself into thinking otherwise, but it was different when he was the one pointing it out. If only because he’d always tried so hard to avoid admitting it. “Move on,” You replied, your voice as cold as you could manage. “Find someone else and let me wake up, if you’re so hungry.”
He frowned, pushing himself up with a heavy sigh. He wasn’t far, but he took the time to sulk and shake his head and act so concerned, as if he had to the right to anguish over his own decisions. Eventually, he made up his mind, bending at the waist and cupping your cheek, lithe fingers rubbing slow, poised circles in your jaw. “Maybe I’ve been too nice,” He started, his pout practically audible. You could’ve been sick, if you weren’t so focused on gritting your teeth and trying not to give him another reason to show his sympathy. “That’s it, yeah? I’ve been treating this like it’s just a dream, you still think it’s just a dream. I’ve let you have fun and move on when things get too hard, I’ve been soft. That was my mistake, though. I shouldn’t punish you for it.”
You didn’t indulge him with a response. Alastor didn’t seem to care.
“Think of this as… your new reality. Usually, people talk themselves into it. They crack after the first few rounds, they tell themselves it’ll be fine, they’ll just find a new way to get away. I don’t have to let things get so ugly.” He let out a breathy chuckle, the sound stifled as he kissed your forehead. You writhed, attempt to keep him at bay, but Alastor didn’t care. He couldn’t care. You weren’t sure why you’d ever expected him to. “You’re stubborn, and I like that about you, I really do, but I’m hungry. You understand that, right? I’m so, so hungry. That’s why I’m not going to let you move on, not until I decide you can.”
“And if I die?” The question was venomous, practically spat. You struggled, jerking at your bonds, but the belts only tightened, biting into your skin and burning, more than leather and steel should’ve. “We’ve done this before, Alastor, you’re predictable. I die, I always die.”
“Not this time.” His smile was back, now, a grin pulling at the corners of his lips and a hint of something playful edging its way into his tone. “It doesn’t matter if you’re gutted or stabbed or if I drain every drop of blood from you’re body, I’m in charge. If I don’t want you to die, you’re not going to. It’s going to be agonizing, and it’s going to keep going until I decide you’ve had enough.” His arms were strung around your neck in a matter of seconds, dragging you into his chest and forcing you to let him squeeze and peck and laugh, his excitement boiling over without warning. “You like horror movies, don’t you? Have you seen Misery or Saw, or - oh, god, Martyrs! This is going to be fun, it’s going to be so fun! I have this plot I’ve wanted to use for a while, too, you’ll love him. He’s just so--”
“You’re going to torture me?” You were fighting blindly, now, not caring that your fingertips were going numb or how tightly Alastor was content to hold you. Your discomfort secondary, as long as it meant getting him away from you. “That won’t make me love you. That won’t make me want to be with you. I’ll only hate you more… it’s going to hurt, and I’m going to hate you for it.”
His grip around you loosened, but he didn’t pull away. He didn’t even flinch as a cart began to rattle from somewhere deep in the warehouse, approaching steadily. You doubted you’d be left to suffer in solitude, this time.
He’d never really liked watching from a distance.
“You’ll have to love me,” He whispered, pulling away and straightening his back. Letting you see that wide, ruthless smile properly. “I’m the only one who can make it stop.”
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burnedbyshoto · 5 years
Text
Believe in Me
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todoroki shouto x reader
warnings: fluff? angst? ha, find out ;)
word count: 2,610
a/n: this was... the hardest thing I’ve had to write... ask my friends, i asked for many ideas!!!! i think because momo is my hc lesbian im like “why is reader jealous? what an idiot!” so i made it more... insecure than jealous! but still i hope you enjoy my love :D
Shouto and Momo had an unbreakable bond.
They were the two students who got in through recommendation. A testament to not only their quirks but to their connections to the Hero Society. They shared their levels of fame, wealth, were from the same circle of society. Most importantly, they have always clicked.
You sometimes wondered why they never dated. It was unfair of you to think that way, after all, Shouto was your boyfriend! Yet, when you were in situations like this… your thoughts took a dive into insecurity.
Jealousy, insecurity, and bitter feelings.
You were good at keeping them down! It was because you didn’t want to be that kind of girlfriend, but they were often insufferable together. It was most often hard studying with them. Shouto always seemed to ask for her help, and you got why he did! Momo, of course, had a higher ranking than you did in the class, but you still outranked him! Why did he never ask you?
Or the way they always paired up together during hero basics training when given the option. The two of them often getting the highest marks in the lesson.
Or even the way Shouto talked about Momo. Pure respect and admiration laced his tone. He was proud of the lengths of which she had grown since her meltdown during your first semester here at U.A.
But right now, you were in a situation that made it hard for you to speak. The two of them were analyzing the situation before them with intensive whispering. The three of you were in a group together for mid-terms your final year here, and you were feeling neglected. They stood analyzing how to get the best success from this test. A simple task that required them to save the “civilian” from a building crawling with “villains.”
Momo was a strategist, you knew that. She had a very capable quirk, but always acted more of a support than the actual hero. Shouto was also a strategist in his own way, but he usually decided to overpower others with his quirk. You weren’t much of a strategist. You were an excellent combat fighter; your strategies involved decisions at the moment. It was never meticulous or planned ahead of time. It worked for you! You were great at it, but most were not. Real-life was different from theory, that’s what you always believed at least.
You felt awkward as you stood behind them, taking in the information of what they wanted you to do. You did not feel included in this strategy whatsoever. You didn’t agree on some parts of the strategy. You had even voiced your thoughts! You had stated that even though it was indoors, doesn’t mean that all the villains would be smart. But the two of them ignored your concerns. Ruling out it out as none of your lessons gave you chaotic villains indoors.
“I don’t like the strategy…” You whisper to Shouto again, as Momo is doing one last mental recital of the game plan. “Why would the last floor not have guards? Plus, the entire no making noise thing is bull! Momo is a great strategist, but you can’t expect us to not make any noises!”
“I know you don’t like that part,” Shouto sighs. Shouto knows the mass majority of what they’re asking of you goes against most things you have always done. You were a fighter. You weren't a capturer! Yet they wanted you to have the stealth of someone like Hagakure by the sounds of it. “But it does make sense and Yaoyorozu’s plan... it’s the best one we got.”
“That’s not what I’m saying!” You try again. “It's that I don’t see our teachers—“
“Todoroki-san, I have one final concern!” Yaoyorozu exclaims, and Shouto squeezes your shoulders before he turns around.
Your heart fell as they arranged the last details. They re-explained everything to you, and you nodded even so. Momo flashed a thumbs-up to wherever your teachers would be watching. You guys were the last ones to wrap up your plan after all. The siren blared and you followed behind Momo as the three of you took off.
The beginning position was a straight line. Using Shouto’s ice to your advantage, he would first freeze any of the villains on the same floor they were on. So not to alert the villains of them coming.
Momo was in the middle. She would provide any changes of action and anything the two of you may need to make sure this was a smooth run.
You made up the back. You would take down anyone else who may have been successful in getting trapped. So far things had worked out fine, the three of you continued clearing floors with little to no issue. Begrudgingly, you had to admit Momo had been right. Still, there was something about all this that made you uneasy.
As you continue climbing, you couldn’t help the guilt that soaked through your bones. Because so far, Momo had been correct at every call. It was the twentieth floor and you hadn’t been needed once, and to be honest, you were zoning out. Momo had been assisting Shouto for the most part. Creating loud noises as diversions for Shouto to capture them. Shouto would then use his fire as you climbed the staircases.
Soon, all you did was follow behind them, you hadn’t been needed once.
It isn’t until floor twenty-seven when something happens. A sudden yell from Momo alerts you and a large piece of concrete is hurtling towards you. With no time to dodge, you tense your body as it crashes into you. You’re sent flying, and you gasp as it hurts to breathe. You get up to your feet as you peer at the villain in front of you. A clone of Cementoss but with an anger issue that made Bakugou seem like Miss Japan.
You look at Momo and Shouto who are halfway towards the stairwell. Their bodies ready to fight and you wave them off. You had this covered. They needed to save up their quirks anyways. They nod as they turn and leave. You could feel the discontent in Shouto as he disappears into the stairwell.
The battle between you and Cementoss is loud and ugly. You try your best at keeping this quiet and secretive, but he continues to rip concrete from the walls. Hurtling it towards you without breaking a sweat.
It takes a while, but you finally manage to reduce the Cementoss into a rag doll. Someone could make copies of people as long as they made a doll that looked like them. So that was what the villains were in this. But your eyes focused in on the damage around you, smart villains your ass. You took off running after your team, and you winced at the feeling of the bruise that was sure to form on your ribcage.
The next two floors have been cleared in the time it took you to catch up. Currently. Momo and Shouto were facing off every single teacher at U.A., their backs towards you.
“I thought we agreed to make battles silent!” Shouto yelled as you enter the twenty-ninth floor. There’s an annoyance on his face as his quirk deletes and he’s forced to dodge a wave of attacks. Your eyes are on Momo who is trying to get herself out of harm's way. But as you said before, she wasn’t quite the best on spot fighter.
So with a tight throat, you raced in to help.
It took another five minutes of intensive fighting. Finally, the three of you panted at the sight of the lifeless dolls now scattered before you. Momo had an injury though. She had taken a rather nasty punch from the All Might doll that you had overwhelmed earlier. You thought you had it defeated, but you were wrong on that assumption.
Shouto has her arm around his shoulder. He was silent as he went to the staircase, and you followed afterward your head low.
At the top floor, Present Mic stood bound to the chair, alone, and excited to see the three of you. You sighed as Momo untied him, but something didn’t feel right. You couldn’t understand why there was no alarm for your victory.
You may not be a strategist, but your damn instincts were fantastic. Something was moving in the shadows... your skin crawled as you heard something whiz through the air.
It seemed that both Momo and Shouto had finally caught up to where your thoughts were. Yet you were the only one to react to the knife that was coming towards Momo. You intercepted the knife with your body as you topple over from the hit. Why was U.A. so merciless?
Damn, having Recovery Girl made these matches brutal sometimes.
Your eyes scanned the darkness of the room. Present Mic’s yapping makes it hard for you to focus but you suppress his voice. The voices of Momo and Shouto now silent in your ears. Nothing they could say was going to fix the fact that they had been wrong, and you had been right. You moreover wanted to be the team that won.
Then you hear it, the slight clicking that made your skin crawl the first time. Sending your energy to your hand, you used your quirk, sending it out. Your energy materialized, glowing as it held a Principal Nezu doll by its throat, a machine in his hand.
The alarm sounds.
“Team G has passed.”
You don’t turn around to your team members who are most likely concerned for you. It’s too much. So you walk away, knife still embedded in your side, bruises scattering your body, and pride hurt.
You ignore their calls as you head to the stairwell. You knew that Shouto was going to help Momo down anyways, as he always did, as he always will.
*•*•*•*
You flinch as Recovery Girl slams her shot onto your head. “You need to find a better way of stopping knives that isn’t with your body!” She huffs, her face red and angry as she stares at you. “Between you and Midoriya, I’m going to break out in the hives while watching you two fight!”
You laugh as you try to downplay her rightful worries. You have been known to stop flying projectiles with your body. “It makes me feel superheroic!” You tease as her hands tighten the bandage around your torso, the force of it making you flinch.
“Heroic? More like idiotic! You’re going to get yourself killed!”
“Well, they weren’t listening to me anyway… and Yaomomo was hurt! I didn’t have the energy to use my quirk at the moment, and I couldn’t let her get hurt…!” You sigh as you shift your costume back into place.
Recovery Girl sighs, her fingers pinching her nose as she shakes her head. “You’re going to make an excellent hero, y/l/n, but you need to have faith in your own judgment to other people. You can’t let others drown you out when you have caused to worries about your own.”
You nod your head, you knew that. But it wasn’t fun trying to interrupt when it was Momo’s master plan.
You eventually leave her office, your body sore, but no longer in pain. You enter the hallway to see Shouto waiting for you, no longer in costume, but in his uniform.
“Are you okay?” Shouto asks as he walks over to you, concern in his face. His fingers graze your face, but you turn your head. You didn’t want this from him right now. A short sigh escapes his mouth as his hands drop to his sides again. “I’m sorry.”
You blink away tears as you stare at him, “For what, Shouto?”
“For a lot of things,” Shouto has a sad smile as he runs a hand through his locks. “First, for yelling at you today, that was unacceptable of me. There weren’t that many dolls there when we first entered. Then you shook the building and they multiplied, and I wrongly blamed you.”
You scoff as you rub away your tears, “Yeah, that one hurt.”
“I’m also sorry for not taking your own thoughts about the strategy into consideration.” Shouto continues and you let yourself succumb to your need of being held. Shouto wraps his arms around you tightly, his hands rubbing your back.
“It hurts, y-you know…” Your voice cracks as you shake your head against his warm chest. “You’re my fucking boyfriend, but sometimes you don’t care about anything I have to contribute! You believe Yaomomo, so, so, much… and I don’t blame you! It’s just so… shitty when y-you don’t believe in me the same way!”
“I’m sorry…”
“But are you? Are you saying this to make me feel better right now? Or do you genuinely mean it? Shouto, I know you love me, and that’s not what my issue is here! It’s just... when I see the way you treat her opinions in comparison to my own… it really sucks! I get that you trust her, but would it hurt you to trust me too?!”
You can’t keep the sobs in you anymore as you cry in his chest, the bleeding wound in your heart no longer able to be withheld. You’re tired of feeling insecure to a girl you knew Shouto didn’t love. You're tired of being bitter because he did love you! Shouto loves you so much but you think that it should make him more lenient towards your ideas.
The sobs become spluttered cries as Shouto presses soft kisses against your face. Everywhere and anywhere. Apologizes on his tongue as he lets you cry.
“I never wished to make you feel insecure about your ability as an individual.” Shouto states as your sobs become gasping breathes as you try to keep calm. “I love you more than anything, y/n. You’ve always been such a strong, capable individual. I never expected you needed my approval. Yaoyorozu still worries me from our finals from our first year, and so most of my support is a habit. My love, you’re amazing, and I’m sorry I haven’t been telling you that enough or showing you that enough.”
You let out a shaky groan as you’re feeling slightly better, but you still don’t wish to let go. “…you should tell me that more often, but I’m sorry for everything I did today…”
“You did nothing wrong.”
“It didn’t seem like that...”
“Well your boyfriend is a fucking idiot when he’s stressed, he is the worst.”
“Don’t give him a hard time,” You giggle slightly and blush at the sound of his heartbeat picking up from your laughter. “He was being an amazing friend.”
You let his hands cup your cheeks and your eyes closed as his lips touch yours. It’s soft, sweet, loving, and laced with a million apologies. You want more out of it. Your arms wrapping around his neck as your mouth is ready to drop in opening for him. But gasp from Momo interrupts the two of you.
You look to see Momo and Jirou standing together, and there’s a blush on Momo’s cheeks. “I came to see how you were doing, y/l/n-chan, but you’re both busy! We’re sorry!” Momo gasps as she tugs Jirou away who’s giving the two of you a thumbs up.
You laugh at they round about the corner and Shouto sighs. “Now where were we?” He asks, a smirk on his face.
You roll your eyes as you bunch his shirt into your hands, and tug him down for a kiss.
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irwinkitten · 4 years
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got lucky | c.h
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requested by anon: ok so for the bi!reader concept: last year i ended my relationship w this girl the main reason was because she was really insecure and jealous especially about me being bisexual like anytime i would talk to a guy she would just get so upset about it and she would make such gross biphobic comments and at the time i had so much internalised biphobia that i tried to convince myself i was gay n stayed in the relationship longer than i should have because i rly liked her i guess lol anyways (1/4) we ended and a while afterwards i started seeing this guy who i’d known of for ages (friends of friends type situation) but we just never really talked before or hung out but from the first date we clicked and the sex was crazy good like the type of sex were ur ditching ur vibrators cuz he’s that good lmao so one weekend we went to this party together and of course she is also there, i was so surprised and i could see her eyeing us the whole night, so when she came over i was anxious af (2/4) and this guy knew i was bi! it was no secret, i worked really hard to accept myself! so she comes over and she deadass goes “are you straight now? i knew you would end up with a man!” and she’s all smug but also hurt and im standing there like what the fuck and THEN this dumb man goes “ha guess the sex is so good i made her straight again” and i’m literally about to cry over how gross the whole interaction is and im so shocked i can’t even defend myself, i dumped him that night obviously (3/) last messgae: so basically can you pls do a redo of the gross situation where instead of being with that dumb guy its with calum and he is so protective n sweet n NORMAL n encourages u to stand up for urself about bisexuality / your sexuality, because what happened to me happens too often and its disgusting and gross and no one deserves that!! only if u feel comfortable/inspired tho, no pressure!! love u laura, thank u for creating such a safe space for all the queer babies it means a lot 💘 notes: i kinda enjoyed writing this one esp for my sweet anon baby. i love u and i hope this is everything you wanted ♥  warnings: biphobia, implications of emotional abuse
word count: 3.2k
donate to my ko-fi here
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“Hey what’cha doing sweets?” Calum’s voice pulled you from your musings, your hand idly tracing patterns against the paper but the pen remaining on the desk. You wrenched your thoughts from the spiral you seemed to have fallen down, a smile crossing your lips as you felt your heart flutter at the sight of him.
“Nothin’. Just thinking.” You finally replied as he pulled up one of the spare chairs next to you, the bustling activity of the coffee shop falling into your background noise as his thigh pressed against yours.
“Really? Normally you doodle when you’re just thinking.” He countered with ease and your eyes dropped to the paper, noticing that the pen remained where you’d placed it when you first sat down. Subconsciously you must’ve realised that the route your thoughts had gone were not suitable to put down on paper, your fingers picking up the pen and mind falling blank immediately.
“Oh.” You breathed before placing the pen back down and packing away the pad and pen.
“What’s running through your head, doll?” Calum’s voice was quiet and concerned, you shrugged.
“Just, a lot on my mind is all. You’re not my keeper just because we’ve slept together.” You admitted quietly and he frowned before picking up his bag and for a sinking second you thought he was going to walk off, but instead, he took your bag from your hands and slung it over his shoulder. 
He looked back at you expectantly and you sighed before standing up, leaving the coffee shop with him, your eyes on the floor as you fell into step next to him.
“Your place or mine?”
“E’s gonna be home and I don’t want to hear them rant about me bringing people back.” You muttered and Calum nodded. 
“I think Ash is out. He’ll probably head out to Luke’s if I show up with you.” At his smirk, you rolled your eyes fondly before shoving him towards the bus stop. His indignant “hey!” was only ignored as you two waited for the bus, his arm slung over your shoulders.
Selfishly, you leaned into his touch, trying to ignore the fact that your stomach was doing flips at his touch alone. 
The bus journey was a quiet ten minutes, but Calum seemed to understand that you weren’t willing to talk with so many people around, so he was content to just keep you close, and you were unwilling to pull away until his stop came up.
When you reached his shared house with Ashton, you noted that the car was gone from the driveway and Calum smirked.
“Looks like he’s out. C’mon.” His hand tucked around yours and pulled you inside. And for a second you wondered if you could distract him with sex, but then the guilt appeared and you could feel the tears of frustration appear as your thoughts swirled and you felt dizzy.
Calum had stepped ahead, turning to see you stood leaning against the closed door, head in your hands and he knew something was wrong. Stepping back to you, he dropped your bags and took your hand in his, pulling you upstairs to his room and your stomach twisted uncomfortably.
“Cal I-”
“I’m not suggesting that.” He muttered. You fell silent at that and as he pulled you into his room, you felt unsure, but he gave you no chance to really deny him as he crawled into bed before opening his arms out to you.
“Cal.”
“I know you. You don’t do emotional stuff well but I’m here for a cuddle and an ear if you need it.” You fell into the embrace easily, your head resting on his chest as his arms wrapped around your shoulders, his lips finding your temple as you finally felt something in you snap, the surge of emotions overwhelming and frighteningly vivid. 
“I keep telling myself that I never was a lesbian, that I still found men attractive but Poppy made me feel like having that attraction was stupid since I was dating her and that I was a lesbian and it’s so fucking confusing because I like you, but I can hear her voice screeching that I’m not right, that I’m a lesbian or faking it or a freak.” And for the first time since you left Poppy, you cried.
Calum had been waiting for this. When the split had happened, you’d been ready for it, you’d already left her mentally, but this was what he knew you needed. He knew that the relationship with her had been toxic, but you’d never revealed the extent of her behaviour. 
His heart broke.
“Just because you like both men and women does not mean you should feel so guilty over your sexuality. There’s a B in LGBT for a reason, doll. That’s you. You’re bisexual and you should be proud of that, not ashamed because some bitch with a control issue couldn’t handle the fact that you liked more than women.” 
You found yourself gripping his shirt with your fists as you pressed your face into his chest, trying to stem the tears that seemed relentless. But Calum held his silence whilst you got it out of your system, knowing that you needed to get this off your chest. 
“I’m sorry.” You finally got out, but he simply shushed you. 
“She was a shitty person with an attitude to show. You shouldn’t apologise for the bitch.” His words were simple but it gave you a breath of ease, pulling away as hands rubbed your shoulders gently. 
He was definitely too good to you, but he was there for you regardless and you were certain that you loved him for that.
“There’s gonna be a party on the other side of town in a couple of weeks. Ash took over the old Firefly down on Hartley. He’s revamping before opening the bar to the public. You fancy going?” And you smiled at the gentle distraction he was offering. 
“We get at least a free drink if we show up, right?” And Calum laughed as he kissed your temple. 
“He wouldn’t say no to me. Or you. In fact, I’m almost certain he’s expecting me to do full introductions on that night since Luke and Mike will be there with the others and their girls.” You rolled your eyes. 
“It’s not like I went to school with Luke or anything.” Came your sarcastic retort and Calum laughed as the two of you settled for the evening. 
“Pretty sure Luke last saw you when you started dating Poppy. He’s put two and two together but he won’t say anything unless you mention it. Even then he knows it’s not his place.” Your heart seemed to swell another size in affection for Luke. 
“You’re making it difficult for me to not fall in love with you Cal. Good dick, you know how to use those lips and fingers of yours, you make me feel like I belong and you respect boundaries without me having to ask.” You finally muttered and Calum gave you an almost wistful smile. 
“You may have been with Poppy but that didn’t stop me from being friends with you. You’re someone I’ve genuinely cared about from day one. Not gonna chuck that away because of who you are. Plus growing up with my mom and sister almost made certain I’d be in touch with my feminine side.” He teased but the sincerity and understanding in his tone eased your shoulders. 
Your features softened at the admittance and you pressed a kiss to his cheek.
“Then I definitely got lucky to have you in my life at least, falling in love or not.”
When the day of the party rolled around, you felt sick with nerves and you couldn’t understand why. 
When Calum rolled up to pick you up—he was driving to Luke’s who lived closest to the bar and you’d both get a ride back to yours before he picked up his car the following morning—he could see the nerves and the grimace on his face spoke volumes. 
“What?” You all but demanded when you were debating outfits. He’d been sitting on the bed watching, but got up and held his hands out to you. 
You took them hesitantly. His thumbs almost immediately started to soothe across the back of your hands to help relax you. 
“Word has gotten around that Poppy is planning to show up. We haven’t exactly been quiet about our relationship, but I didn’t think she’d pull something like this.” And your stomach churned uncomfortably. 
“We’re still going. Ashton promised free drinks and we’ll be in the VIP area right?” You checked and Calum nodded.
“Ashton has already told the bouncers that she’s not allowed near the VIP section. They’re checking and rechecking the lists to make sure she isn’t on one of them.” He explained and you let out a breath of air. 
“Okay. It’ll be fine. It’s being handled and I’ve got you. Now which outfit do you think I should wear?” He studied your face for a second before a smile broke across his lips. 
“The dark purple with the deep plunge. Is it wrong of me to flaunt in her face what she lost?” And you laughed as you kissed him. 
“I mean, yes. But I also know that you want to show me off properly now that we’ve got things really settled.” You murmured and he grinned back unabashedly. 
It was still an uphill battle, but he’d given you a lot to think about. And after gentle convincing, you’d found an LGBT friendly therapist who helped you process your thoughts. It helped you come to terms with accepting the toxic relationship that you’d been in but also it highlighted how beneficial Calum had been as a friend and confidant. 
It also gave you the courage to ask Calum out officially, wanting to be with him entirely and not just in the evenings. 
He took that in his stride and things shifted once more between the two of you. When you opened up to him about some of your sessions, you knew that your trust had been well placed because he never indicated anything to his friends and so you were never subjected to pitying stares or glares. 
You were almost sure that you’d fall in love with him faster than you fell for Poppy. 
The drive to Luke’s was filled with your nerves. You hadn’t seen Luke in years and you were also meeting his two other friends, Ashton and Michael as well as their partners. 
“Ashton’s excited to finally meet you and stop telling me to be careful when I go to yours.” 
Despite Calum living with Ashton, your schedules never seemed to match and more often than not, Calum could be found at your place, a small sanctuary from your hectic lives. 
Ashton never begrudged that time you shared together, but Calum had mentioned a few times about how snappy he was being on the subject. 
“He’ll chill when he realises I’m not out to break your heart or steal something.” You muttered with a chuckle. Calum snorted in return as he pulled into Luke’s driveway. 
Your nerves return full force as he pulls you to the front door and steps in like he lives there. 
“Hey fuckers, anyone about?” He called through and was met with calls of confirmation, another yell following that they were in the dining room. Your fingers squeezed Calum’s tightly and he didn’t hesitate to return it, his thumb soothing across the skin on the back of your hand.
“Look who it is!” A voice crowed loudly as he stepped into the dining room, followed by loud calls of greetings. 
There was a flurry of introductions and you felt like the spotlight was being shone on you, under scrutiny from his best friends gazes once they had greeted their friend and Calum had introduced you. Or re-introduced you in Luke’s case.
“Well c’mon, the last time I saw you we were leaving school. What’s been happening to you?” Luke finally asked, indicating to the seat next to him. A small smile graced your lips as you sat down, Calum falling into the seat next to you as you shrugged. 
“Life I guess? It’s been definitely more interesting with the different jobs and moving about. Building up a social life again.” Luke’s face filled with a frown at that. 
Michael came in next. 
“Building up a social life? Did you not have one?” His words held an innocent curiosity, yet you felt yourself hesitate. 
“My ex was controlling to the point that I couldn’t do anything without their permission. They managed to make me believe that no one really wanted me around and I lost touch with old friends, like Luke.” You glanced to the side and he was frowning. 
The others held varying degrees of stunned shock or disapproval. 
“Well then he was a cunt.” Michael muttered and your eyes refused to meet theirs at the assumptions. Luke stayed quiet but his hand rested on your knee, squeezing it. You shot him a gentle smile in return.
“Well it’ll be good to have you back in our lives. Especially with these two knuckleheads.” He nodded at Ashton and Michael who immediately protested and you laughed. 
It felt like you’d known them for years as you all had a few shots. Ashton, despite being the owner of the bar, wasn’t worried about turning up with his friends. He’d already explained to his staff that he’d be around for the rest of the night once he arrived and he’d told the small groups he’d be here and there. 
After a handful of shots, the group of you made your way to the bar, your arm linked with Calum’s. There were separate conversations happening between you all, their girlfriends including you on their pamper night whilst the boys discussed a possible games night for all of you. 
When you arrived at the club, you saw the queue of people waiting to get in and the subsequent groans from the line as the bouncer let you in, no questions asked. 
Ashton guided the group of you to the VIP section and the music was still loud but you could still hear each other talking. You were chatting away with Luke’s girlfriend, arm still linked with Calum’s as Ashton disappeared to get drinks. 
Calum pulled your attention away briefly, his lips by your ear. 
“I’ve spotted her. She’s not seen us yet so don’t worry.” You barely nodded, acknowledging his words as you listened in, fighting to keep your nerves down. 
The night continued and you were all a few drinks deep. Calum’s arm had barely left your waist all night as you talked and danced and drank. You’d been welcomed into his group of friends with an ease you never realised existed. 
You’d deliberately not tried to seek out Poppy, silently praying that the universe would comply. But as the group of you stood out in the smokers area, huddled together under a heating lamp, your stomach sank as she stepped out, her eyes narrowing on you. 
“Fuckin’ knew it!” You could feel the alarm in your face as you stepped back into Calum, his arm going around you protectively. 
“Poppy, you’re drunk.” You felt curious gazes from your new friends, but you didn’t spare them a glance.
“You break up with me and go running to his arms, I knew you weren’t a fuckin lesbian. Pretending to try it out? Just another straight girl seeking attention. Fucking freak.” She snapped and your stomach sank. 
“Get it through your thick head that she’s bisexual.” Calum snapped in your defence, earning a glare from Poppy. But Calum didn’t shrink from the glare, your glance to his face confirmed he was giving her his own. You were mildly impressed that she didn’t back down instantly. 
“She’s a fuckin liar! Years of my life wasted on this bitch.” She spat at your feet and you took in a deep breath. 
“You don’t get to control me anymore, Poppy. I’ve liked both men and women, but you never liked that because it meant that I had more chances of leaving you. And I wished I’d have left you sooner. Calum certainly thought so.” 
“Of course you fucked the first man to pay you any attention.” Your heart sank once more at her declaration and you felt your mind fall into the old trap that you’d fought with for so long. 
“No she never. In fact she slept with a few girls long before she slept with me. But I was her best friend as she tried to deal with the mess you created in her mind.” Calum snapped back. You felt your heart swell for him. 
Poppy stepped forward, her hand raised but then Ashton stepped in front of you. 
“Get out. You’re no longer welcome in this bar.” He made a gesture and security slowly made their way over. 
“She shouldn’t be fucking welcome!” Poppy yelled back, but Ashton held firm. 
“She is my friend. You are not. Get. Out.” When the bouncer rested a hand on her arm, she shrugged it off and stormed away. Your entire body was trembling.
“So that was the ex, huh?” Michael commented and you could feel your hands trembling as you nodded. “Why didn’t you correct me?” Calum spoke up for you as his hands took yours. 
“It’s been a battle for her. Poppy had convinced her she was a lesbian, that she was wrong for having any attraction to men. In Poppy’s world, either your gay, lesbian or straight. Being bisexual isn’t acceptable in her eyes.” Calum’s arms wrapped around you and you stood there, holding onto him for dear life. 
“Well that makes two of us then.” Michael’s casual comment had your knees go weak and you let out a weak laugh. 
“Thank you Ash.” You finally murmured when you pulled away from Calum. Ashton didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around you in a warm hug that was both comforting and reassuring. 
“Hey, you’ve been the best thing for my best mate. And you were friends with Luke once before. I’ve definitely got your back. And I get why you didn’t say anything and don’t hold that against you.” He muttered and you breathed a sigh of relief before returning to Calum’s embrace. 
“More drinks or are we gonna go back to Luke’s?” And you shook your head. 
“Let’s stay. I’m not gonna let her ruin it,” you leaned forwards so your lips were by his ear as the others went inside, “also I want to see if we can christen the bar in one of the toilets.” You breathed. Calum groaned as his grip around you got tighter and he pulled you in for a kiss that promised more. 
“Oh you’re so fucked sweetheart. Especially since I know where the individual lips are and they aren’t attended by anyone.” You held back a moan at that thought before pulling away, your hand in his. 
“Dance first?” And the innocence in your tone made him laugh as he followed behind you willingly. 
“Menace.” The term was laced with affection as he caught up to you, kissing the spot just below your ear. 
You simply grinned in return as you pulled him onto the dance floor, Poppy long forgotten as he danced with you. 
-
@sexgodashton, @goth5sos, @calumsmermaid, @empathycth, @wildflowergrae, @calpops, @rosecolouredash, @cal-puddies, @clockwork124, @loveroflrh, @stellar5sosrecs, @ashtoniwir, @cthla, @liketheydidwithyou, @sc0ttish-wildfl0wer​, @bluehairedtracii, @drummerboy794, @feliznavidaddycal, @i-calumhood, @wokeupinjapanisabop, @converse-luke, @madbomb, @ccnicole02, @youngblood199456, @aulxna, @megz1985, @lukesidentitycrisis, @snapback-irwie, @neonweeknds, @666yourwitchyfriend666, @gamerboymike, @cashtonasfuck, @ashtaway, @conquerwhatliesahead92, @itjustkindahappenedreally, @twoamhood, @kchillout, @damselindistressanu, @colormekaykay, @findingliam-o, @sublimehood, @sugarcoated-pain, @singt0mecalum, @singledadharrington​, @calumspeachy​, @colourfulcalum​, @lostincalum​, @burncrashbromance​, @asht0ns-world​, @a-mnd, @flusteredcliffo​, @loti18​, @ixcantxdecidexwhosxmyxfave​, @clumclum-hood​, @fangirl-everythang​, @lashtondaddies​, @calumssunshine​, @ambskiwi​, @abundant-stars​, @caltattoohood, @seedless-vascular, @myescapefromthislife​, @lmao5sosimagines​, @beyoncesdragon​, @jae-writes-fanfiction​, @cxddlyash​, @tresfandom​, @utterly-u-n-p-e-r-f-e-c-t​, @niallisworld​, @lietomevalntyn​, @babylon-corgis​, @monochrome44​, @behind-my-hazeleyes27​, @ghost0fy0u​, @lyllibug​, @bloodmoonashton​, @balsamic-cal, @calumsbaldhead​, @washedout-ky, @calumssunshinee​, @ghostofmashton​, @summerellaz​, @a-little-less-sixteen​, @cashworthy​, @smokeinherlungs​, @longlastingdaydream​, @h0tsos​, @sweetcherrymike​, @5sosnsfw​, @sugar-nico​, @sunnysideblog, @angel-cal​, @samros95​, @maluminspace​, @lukeinblue​, @cakesunflower​, @allamerican-betch​,  @britnicole11​, @gigglyirwin​, @everyscarisahealingplace, @loverofcashton​, @iovehemmings​, @g-l-pierce​, @jannimoeller3​, @wildmichaelflower​, @lukeskisses​, @5sossstan​, @youngbloodchild​, @alloutofcashton​, @tobefalling​, @abb-lan-5sos​, @calumsbub​, @flameraine​, @here-for-the-uproars​, @mateisit-balsamic​, @ilovelukey​, @sarahshepherdblog​
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bangtansfavwriter · 4 years
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🥞☕brunch café owner! jin☕🥞
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tw: a tiny mention of anxiety and shitty people that you may have encountered in school / uni ( but a lot of fluff to make up for it! )
- so far, your day was a complete catastrophe, im not even gonna tone it down, it was a complete shitshow to be honest
-it was like god woke up and went "i’m gonna let y/n have a shit day lmaoo"
-you overslept and missed your bus... on the day you had an appointment with your lecturer about your term paper
- after tripping on the stairs and hitting your knee, you hobbled to the office where this gollum lookalike was already waiting for you
- your lecturer was unreasonable enough to not let you extend your deadline for your paper... the one book you needed wasn't in the library for the past 3 weeks and there was no other edition available. so you explained the situation multiple times even at the beginning of your writing process, you even wrote him mails to explain the issue
- but this man who literally radiated boomer energy with every particle of his being really had the audacity to not answer, not even to your second mail and then he actually said that he does not understand "how someone of your age doesn't manage to even get a simple task as writing a paper" done
-you explained the situation again but he was pretty much tone-deaf to your situation and didn't even care when you said that you're actually gonna go to the library now to get the book scans
- so you went there already drained and exhausted from that conversation
-but the library was an even worse experience tbh .......
[fic mode: on, hohoho]
The lady in the library yelled at you for no apparent reason after you informed her that the scanner wasn't working and made you look stupid in front of other students who were there until one of them intervened and helped you out, which you appreciated. But this whole situation grew even worse on you after you left the library because your anxiety kicked in. You went straight into a quiet alley nearby and started crying quietly. "But hey!" you then exclaimed angrily, while wiping away your tears "At least the paper is gonna get done, right?! because who gives a shit about mental health and all huh, Mr. Go?!" and you started sobbing again. "Dickhead... And that stupid library lady... with her stupid fat 80s glasses. And her ugly yeehaw look...". This was something you wouldn't ever do in public, crying and ranting that is. but the alley was quiet, your only company was a stray cat that was sleeping underneath a tree's shadow. or so you thought. "Ugly yeehaw people and their ugly ass clothes, like... go read a magazine or something...". You started feeling more liberated with each mild insult you'd utter, so you went on. "Ugly library lady and her giant wart, like who the fuck are you? yubaba?" you heard someone snort and start laughing a squeaky laugh that almost sounded like a windshield wiper. Taken aback by the unexpected witness to your mild breakdown, you stood still at first, then looked around, left and right, but you couldn't see anyone. "Over here!" you heard someone say. You looked around again and sighed when you still couldn't see anyone. "Did I finally lose my mind?" you mumbled to yourself, only to hear the squeaky laugh again. "Hey! Turn around and look up!". You got up the bench and did as you were told by the omnipresent voice and finally saw the person it belonged to. Up at the 1st floor, there was a guy looking down to you from his tiny balcony that had plants hanging down from it. He smiled at you when your eyes met and you felt your heart rate go up in an instant, as you realized this stranger, this awfully handsome stranger witnessed how your petty little rant and crying about yubaba's twin in the library. "Tough day, huh?" he asked, you just nodded and quickly wiped your face with your sleeve. "Oh no, hold on" he mumbled and suddenly disappeared from his window, leaving you behind with a surprised look on your face. A box of Kleenex suddenly landed in front of your feet, as he reappeared at his window. "Just one would have done it, too, but thank you. I appreciate it!" you said and smiled at the guy. While you wiped your face, you heard another something land on the bench. You looked up again to the guy who, all of a sudden, avoided your gaze. "That'll help, you know..." he said and looked at you in surprise when you started laughing. What he threw on the bench was a... bar of chocolate. One that also happened to be your favourite. You looked at him and gave him a huge smile that made his heart flutter. He looked away shyly and scratched his head. "Tough day, yeah... but this right here," you raised the chocolate bar, "this makes it all better, you're right about that. Thank you!" The stranger couldn't help but look at you once again. He almost felt compelled to it. It was like staring at the sun when it sets, you know that you shouldn't stare at it directly, but it's so breathtakingly beautiful that you can't help but look. He intently watched you while you happily munched on your chocolate and smiled to himself. "What's your name?" he asked you. "Y/N! How about you?" - "I'm Seokjin. You can call me Jin..." - "Nice to meet you, Jin. I wish it would have been under different circumstances, though. I'm actually quite embarrassed about that, but chocolate helps with that, too." You two smiled at each other. "You know what, Y/N? Sometimes good things happen at weird times. Don't be embarrassed about crying earlier. I'm the last person who'd judge you because of that. I know that library witch, by the way... That Yubaba comparison was spot on!" You laughed out loud - he very much wished to hear this sound more often now. "Y/N, I gotta get ready for work now. But I'm gonna share one last bit of wisdom with you. I know a good remedy for bad days." - "Better than chocolate?" - "Oh, yes. Even better than chocolate. There's a café in XX street. There's a whole lot of lavender growing right in front of it, you can't miss it. That cafe has the best pancakes in the entire city." - Oh my god, pancakes are the best thing on earth!" - "(!!!) You must go there and try then! They're fluffy and come in 5 different variations and the sweetest maple syrup! I'm telling you, if you have a bad day like this again, go straight to that café." He already got you at pancakes, so you definitely would go there. "I'll finish this damn paper and then go reward myself with pancakes! In one or two weeks I'll get like 2 plates of pancakes then!" - "That sounds perfect!", he laughed. Shortly after, he excused himself and you two bid farewell. He disappeared from his window and your troubles had disappeared from your soul. You went home with a smile on your face, thankful for the kindness he had shown you and hoped that you would see him in the café some day. "Who knows... Maybe he's a regular there. It sounded like it."
~
Roughly one and a half weeks later, many all nighters and a whole lot of take out food, you finished the paper and handed it in. Liberated from this massive pain in the ass, you went straight to the café that your thoughts circled around during the times you weren't busy with your paper. "God, I hope he's there...", you thought and thought of Jin, who you thought about as much as you dreamed of the huge plate of pancakes you were going to get now. The café was not very far from where you lived, you walked there in about 15 minutes and recognised the place by a very accurate description Jin has given you. The smell of lavender bewitched you as soon as you stepped into the alley the café was in. Lots of flower pots were in the front of it, not only was there lavender but also gardenias and petunias. The flowers were all around the tables outside. "Of course, the flower boy loves the flower café" you said to yourself and smiled. The café wasn't too busy, as you came by at a rather early hour, when there were still lectures for most students and older people were busy at the local market place. You were greeted right away when you entered the café, by a younger man, probably also a fellow student, who was wearing an apron and gave you a warm welcome with his bunny smile. He showed you to your table at the window side from where you could watch bees hurdle at the lavender pots outside. You ordered shortly after, it didn't take much thinking when you saw the "Eat the stress away" menu, with regular pancakes, hashbrowns and a tea/coffee option. "Excellent choice! It's my personal favourite~", your waiter added. You glanced at each other. "Fellow student?" you asked and laughed when he suddenly looked at you with a gloomy look, but joined you in laughter right away. "Shared struggle", he said laughing, leaned over real quick and whispered: "I'll get you some blueberry pancakes, too. I'll tell the chef you're a friend of mine." - "Oh my god, thank you!" He winked and went straight to the kitchen, while humming a tune. Well, this was certainly the sweetest waiter you'd ever encountered. But you had your eyes on the door, hoping for a divine intervention that would lead to Jin coincidentally walk into the café when you were there. Around 15 minutes later you finally sipped on your coffee and were about to devour the fluffiest pancakes you'd ever had on a plate in front of you. The hash browns were a tad bit disappointing, as they had a slighty burnt taste and weren't spiced very well, in your opinion. But the pancakes were absolutely amazing. Their soft and fluffy texture was  complemented with butter and the sticky-sweet maple syrup that as truly as good as Jin said. And the blueberry pancakes were so good that you feared losing control over your facial expressions. Your waiter came along to your table, after he got the newest customer orders to the kitchen. You invited him to sit with you, which he gladly accepted. "How do you like it? They're really good, right?" - "I think this is what the kids call 'foodgasm'...", you answered and the two of you giggled. He looked at your plate and noticed the hash browns that you put at the edge of your plate. "Oh? Didn't like the hash browns?" he asked with wide eyes.
"They're slightly burnt, I think..." you said shyly. You were never one to criticize the cook when you didn't like your food in a restaurant. The only time when you actually complained was when you once found hair in your soup in a restaurant, and even back then you apologised for the trouble whereas it was clearly the chef who was at fault. "Please don't tell anyone, this can happen sometimes, I accept that." you quickly added, but your waiter shook his head ferociously. "You paid for this, so it is our duty to bring good food to your table. Our chef is a perfectionist, I don't understand how this can happen anyway. I'll get it sorted out, but not without teasing him. Can you wait a little until the customers are gone here. We close for lunch time. So people are gonna leave soon." You agreed and waited, while befriending the waiter - Jungkook, a 2nd year student who was currently doing a side job at "Café Smeraldo". After the last customer left, Jungkook decided to call the chef by yelling across the café. "He's also the manager you know. We're a bit short-staffed, you know... This is gonna be funny~~ JIN-HYUNG!" You almost spat out your coffee and started coughing as soon as you heard that name. "JIN-HYUNG COME OUT OF YOUR BUREAU! YOU BURNT A CUSTOMER'S FOOD!" He cackled after he heard noise coming from inside, while you sat there mortified. The door from the staff room slammed open and you instantly wished to turn into dust, as said manager/chef was the guy who consoled you on one of the worst days you've had in your academic life. The two of you stared at each other in shock, but before he could say anything to you he started scolding his younger co-worker and the two of them started bickering, while you continued sipping on your coffee, because this whole situation was soon more entertaining than it was mortifying. At some point Jin shushed Jungkook who shut up right away when he realized that this wasn't playful bickering anymore. Jungkook bowed deeply and went to the kitchen where he started cleaning. "You're friends with the boy?" Jin asked and sat down at your table. He looked tired, you thought. "No, actually we met earlier, but I suppose we just clicked very fast." - "So this kid got you my famous blueberry pancakes on the house, huh?" - "...I guess so. Look, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cause you trouble. I really didn't want him to say anything about the hash browns either." He quickly glanced at them and grabbed one to take a bite, but put it down again before doing so. "I can see it already", he said "you don't need to apologise, it's my bad." He sat there with a gloomy expression and sighed. "Tough day, huh?" you asked and smiled at him when he laughed at your reference. "Tough week is more like it. We're a bit short-staffed at the moment. But enough of me and my manager melancholy. Finished your paper?" You were surprised by his sudden change, but you went along. "Yeah, I turned it in earlier and came here right after. I gave you my word after all." You smiled at him, and he felt the same rush that he had experienced the day he first met you. You continued: "You were right, by the way. These pancakes are everything!! Especially the blueberry ones. Is that your recipe?" He laughed and nodded. "I'm glad you liked them!" he said. "I'll serve you better hash browns the next time, pinky promise. I got a phone call while preparing 3 orders, yours was the only one that suffered from it." - "It happens sometimes. Don't dwell on something so minor." - "Says you, who cried beneath my balcony because of some witch!" The two of you giggled. He looked at you with a look, that made your cheeks burn. His gaze was fond and soft, it was the kind of look you have whenever the sky looks pretty, or when a bird lands near you and sings a little song. Neither of you could break the look you shared, as neither of you could describe a bond that was apparently now formed with chocolate and pancakes. It was him who spoke up first: "Got room for more pancakes?". This question took you by surprise, but pancakes are always a welcome surprise. "Hell yeah, you can never have enough pancakes." - "I need more proof for that, but based on that sentence alone I can say that we may be soulmates, Y/N." You started laughing, as did he. "But why? What do you have in mind? Also, I'm surprised you still remember my name." His cheeks got a very apparent pink hue after your remark and you noticed how grossly you were endeared by this man. "Y/N... How could I forget..." he said with a low voice that made your heart flutter. "How could I forget someone who made me believe there was a banshee at my door for a solid minute!" He broke out in his loud and squeaky laughter as soon as he saw the pure offence and shock on your face, after he said that, because *that* was certainly not what you expected to hear.  "You're mean, oh my god!" you exclaimed but had to laugh, too. You guys needed two minutes to calm down again. The pink hue on his face was still there and you felt the rush of confidence in you. He noticed you looking at him and spoke up:
"Y/N... How could I forget someone who has made me smile on a day I didn't feel like smiling at all? I got the news my cook had to quit on the day we met. I thought this was the end for my café. But then, I met you, shortly after I got the news. And seeing you going from crying to happily munching on some chocolate despite having issues that made you cry in public in the first place... Seeing you forgetting your troubles with something so small as a chocolate bar. I don't know... I felt hopeful for some reason. And I love this feeling. And, god... I really hoped you'd take my advice and come here to have my pancakes! (he chuckled) But I have to admit something... I so regretted not asking for your number. For the past week I jumped through the kitchen door everytime a customer came in...". You were pretty sure your heart was soon gonna explode through your chest. He hid his face with his hands and sighed. "I'm not like this at all~" he whined, before facing you again. "But... How about I make us some more pancakes now? And hash browns, if you like. I haven't had breakfast yet and well... I really want to make you pancakes. Can I?" His voice became thinner with each sentence he added, since he came shyer with each bit. You chuckled, in disbelief about how your rapidly beating heart became so calm, yet so full when this man told you he wanted to make you pancakes. No nervosity whatsoever, no second thoughts, nothing. An epiphany over pancakes... Who would have thought? This was safe. This was a safe place for both of you, and both of you felt it.
"A breakfast date then?"
"Breakfast date it is."
"I like the sound of that."
💕
epilogue:
-you two enter the kitchen after you insisted on watching him cook for you-
jk: hyu- oh, hi y/n! you guys know each other? ah hyung, i cleaned up everything and tidied up in the bureau. i'm sorry about earlier. (bows again and stands there shyly)
jin: (sighs very deeply) come here, you dodo.
the two of them shared a short but sweet hug, after which jungkook had a huge smile on his face again. jin and you shared a look and the same thought as you looked at jungkook after.
jin: jk, you wanna have pancakes with us?
jk: huh? yeah sure, i'm actually pretty hungry... (he smiles at you two) I'll go clean up inside real quick and prepare the table! yayy, pancake brunch with friends ☺️ (he leaves you two in the kitchen)
you turned to jin and smiled. "don't even start." he said quickly, while he started getting the ingredients out. "AWWW~~" - "NOOO!"
-the end-
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og-danny-dorito · 4 years
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Bucky Barnes SFW Headcanons
a new hyperfixation to avoid my growing anxiety with my personal life? yall already know whats up, and i'm feeling angsty so brace yourself
PUBLISHED :  2 - 17 - 20
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S F W : 
- to start off of a positive and happy note (jk you already know thats not how it works) its very likely that upon first meeting, any touch directed towards him is met with an alarmed grunt and/or a slap of your hand away
- anything unsolicited makes him nervous and uncomfortable, so if you really do want to pat his shoulder or hug him or something like that you'd have to ask if it's okay first. now it's pretty easy to see the reasoning behind this but for those doubting it i will explain
- big man has been trained to kill in hand to hand combat and advanced weaponry and countless other things, meaning that he's pretty much wired by this point to have a gut reaction that automatically goes to the fight or flight instinct. it doesn't make logical sense that he wouldn't get uncomfortable and jumpy at loud noises and unsolicited touching since his ptsd has accumulated over the years to MAKE him react like that. he doesn't want to accidentally punch you in the teeth
- like yeah he's all tough and shit and could break the a dude’s neck if he really tried, but the issue is that once his walls are broken down he's sort of akin to that of a regulated killing machine having to redo its wiring to be “normal” again. the transition itself would be traumatic, but the process of initiating it would be even more difficult
- so that means that in the first few months of his recovery, he probably would do a lot of absent-minded staring and just long spells of silence where he just doesn't do anything. it's sort of like a reloading point for his brain, and he starts to pick up the habit of daydreaming a lot. sometimes you'll have to say his name a few times to snap him out of it, but when he does come to he looks a little embarrassed
- it's not that easy to elicit an emotional reaction out of him. you'd have to be fairly close with him to actually get most responses out of him that are more than a word long, and so thus starts my favorite trope; hard depressed kill man falls for person who just Keeps Trying
- it's not that easy to get under his skin, but meeting him somewhere normally and constantly talking to him will probably start to make him feel more encouraged to speak in the sense of making normal conversation
- he's a little awkward so in this case patience goes a long way (as does with pretty much everything with him). it gets to the point where after a month or so he may feel weird if he doesn't talk to you at that specific time of the day. if he's grown that fond of you he'll even go out of his way to ask a few people where you are
- part of him hates getting this attached for a number of reasons. there's that nagging feeling in the back of his mind that his environment is temporary and getting attached to the things and people there will hurt him more than he'd like. while he knows that it's not temporary, that he's not leaving anytime soon and probably won't for a while, it all goes back to the killing machine thing
- when he was under hydra’s control, the only thing that was certain was the base he resided in and it's hard to come out of a state of mind where the only thing you know to be continuous is your continued existence as a tool. the place itself brings back horrible memories, but you get what i mean
- so initially he may resist conversation for that very reason
- he tends to pick up on details more than anything, and most of your smaller traits tend to make him quickly used to you. like for instance, if you're prone to pursuing your lips and narrowing your eyes at something odd you've heard or seen, he might find it cute mentally and then immediately correct himself for it. if you tend to snort a little and roll your eyes when you laugh, he's going to notice that and MAYBE try to pay more attention when something funny is said to hear it again
- i would generally think that he doesn't really have much a type or preference at all. in fact, i'm pretty sure the only thing he seemed consciously aware of that he likes in a partner is ability to understand. cause if you can't forgive him for the things he's done and see why he does what he does now, he can't bring himself to feel like he needs to go through all of his self hatred and doubt more intensely than he already is
- he probably is asexual as well but that's sort of iffy considering he's canon been in sexual relationships so that's a maybe. but he's definitely demiromantic. it's not that easy for him to find people attractive anymore. when he starts to get to know you better he starts feeling some sort of way and picking up on MORE details that you may not even notice yourself
- bucky is also incredibly skilled at remembering things you might've said a month ago and completely forgot about. some find this off putting and that's understandable, but when it comes down to it, its a product of sorta okay memory
- “My cousin almost flipped his car over this week.”
- “Phillipe?”
- “Uh, yeah. How did you...?”
- “You mentioned him two weeks ago... when he almost fell of your roof the week before.”
- “I did?”
- remembers dates, names, eye colors, and a multitude of other things, so sometimes he'll just mention something important you may have forgotten and pretend like he definitely wasn't paying too much attention to you. it's surprising how good his memory is even though he can't remember any of his past. so this most likely means that he has issues with remembering events and how they happened, but not the details of them. like how you can remember your shirt color a few week s back but not what you did while wearing that shirt
- and on that note, he kinda shuts down if he gets a weird flashback in the middle of something. they're mostly triggered by smells and sounds, but sometimes if he sees something while he's walking down the street he'll just stop and stare at it. it's best just to stop and stare at it with him, or alternatively if you don't want stares, act like you're taking a picture. but don't talk to him while it's happening cause it'll interrupt the train of thought and derail him completely
- he tends to talk a lot about things if he's grown very invested in them (he's very good at keeping focus). if you're out walking together or just sitting down he might stare and absentmindedly reach out to touch you before stopping himself at the last minute. gently grabbing his hand and placing it wherever he wanted to touch makes him flustered every time. that and hes super soft but is afraid to be vulnerable around anyone
- just gently grabbing his hand makes him all mushy, and it’s more often than not that he finds himself weak when someone shows pretty much any form of affection or endearment towards him
- probably not into pda though, not that much. he will hold your hand if you want to, but don’t expect to like sit in his lap or like straight upstart kissing in public cause any attention in a public setting makes him nervous
- really likes a kind of homey s/o. someone who likes to cook or bake or whatever makes him feel a little bit like he doesn't have to worry about something for a while. like if he comes home and dinner is just waiting on the table for him or you’ve already drawn a bath for him and/or made the bed or whatever, he literally appreciates that above pretty much anything else
- love language is most likely acts of service. hes not very good with words unless he like thinks it out beforehand, but pretty much buys you gifts all the time because he likes seeing you light up when you see them. he does try to spend as much time as he can with you but either anxiety gets the best of him or hes literally too busy, and so it ends up being more distant with him coming over a few times during the week, even if you live together. and we already know the deal with physical touch so im not gonna restate my strong belief in “big man has trauma no touch big man unless A S K”
- but a lot of the things he does are situational. one day he may be very down to be super affectionate and the other he’ll be painfully distant, but the main issue with all of it is that hes very very bad at communication
- this poses an issue for a number of reasons, but his responses and reactions are more physical than anything. so for instance, if hes uncomfortable with something he’ll start to shift and stare and be very tense the whole time it’s occurring, or if he’s feeling a bit more sad or depressed he’ll isolate himself and consistently stand slouched or look as if he hasn't gotten enough sleep. it’s mostly body language, but after a while he’ll feel safe enough to tell you how he feels about certain things
- this takes a while to actually happen, but when it does he manages to just,,, say things that are on his mind. like you’ll be reading or scrolling through your phone or whatever and he’ll randomly be like “The table has a lot of scratches on it.” it’s just observations he has, but usually it translates to him wanting to change the stated fact. best thing to do is just to roll with it, since hes practically learning how to communicate again and he’s picking up on things socially
- now let's get to the “a little fluffy” and “kinda-already-known” shit, shall we?
-  miscellaneous headcanons;
gets jealous pretty easily in the early stages of your relationship, but only ever indicates this by staring the person in question down and refusing to admit to it later
likes having his hair put up into cool hairstyles and likes colored rubber bands (or hair ties if youre not where i'm from). seriously, he may loose his shit if you just like put cool braids in his hair one day like hes a viking or whatever
kind of tone deaf but his singing is more of like this raspy and slightly more “Misty Mountains” vocals sounding
is touch sensitive, so even doing something as small as like rubbing your thumb on his arm makes his hair raise on end
doesn't like his metal arm at all and quite obviously wears long sleeves all the time to hide it, but occasionally wears short sleeves when he's feeling less insecure
oh, super insecure btw and THATS why he feels all mushy when someone is kind to him because he KNOWS he's a freak and that he's weird but you're not still being sweet??? too pure, must protect
gives great hugs since he practically smothers anyone he meets with them, but is also basically a walking heater
is terrified of the idea of taking care of children or just anything weaker than him, but is good with them since they always hang on his arms and hold his legs when he walks
super strong
likes sweets a whole lot, specifically fruity sweets like apple pie or peach cobbler. never bring those wallmart cakes or whatever near him cause it'll be gone in like an hour flat unless you tell him to leave you some
- in conclusion, he needs therapy and probably won't be very responsive when he's not sure what to do. it doesn't mean he loves you any less, but he may have a hard time communicating it to you. all he really needs is some patience and a bit of understanding, and he'll get better with the whole s/o thing soon enough. cause you mean the world to him, and he doesn't want anyone or anything to make you feel like less than that
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yo im back at it again, this time for cassunzel week!! these ficlets will all take place in the same fic-verse as my cass week fics, which you can read here!
CASSUNZEL WEEK DAY 1 - HOMECOMING
On the day of her 22nd birthday, Rapunzel is radiant.
She must have known the surprise party was coming – how could she not, what with the whole of Corona buzzing with anticipation? – but still, she shrieks with delight all the same as the room erupts with cheer. She’s changed a little since the last time Cass saw her; her eyes sparkle a little brighter, her shoulders are less tense. Her happily ever after was only just beginning with Cassandra’s departure, but now – now she’s truly at peace.
Despite her initial decision to join Eugene and Lance at the front of the room in order to greet Rapunzel, Cass finds herself looking for a place to hide. Part of her doesn’t want Rapunzel to notice her right here and now, with the whole of the kingdom watching. She’s excited to greet her, of course, and give her a hug (maybe more, if her nerves cooperate), but… she just doesn’t know how to act with everybody else there. The new nature of their relationship isn’t exactly public knowledge, after all, and the last thing she wants is to cause some sort of uproar on Rapunzel’s birthday of all days.
So she hangs back, for once grateful at how tall and broad Lance is in comparison to her. Rapunzel begins to gush about the decorations, running over to hug her parents tightly, before making her way over to Eugene to give him the hug and kiss he’s earned for being such an efficient party planner.
“Well, I can’t take all the credit, sunshine,” he rambles, looking all too pleased with himself. “Everyone helped make this place a success. Oh, but I can take credit for keeping a certain someone – pardon the pun – under wraps…”
Cass considers leaving him hanging, but the second-hand embarrassment would be too much, even with Eugene getting the brunt of it. So she awkwardly side-steps out from behind Lance and gives a sheepish wave. Rapunzel’s face, set in confusion at Eugene’s awkward trail-off, morphs into one of pure amazement as her eyes meet Cassandra’s.
“CASS!!” She launches herself at Cassandra at full speed, leaving her winded from the impact.
“Oof. Hey, Raps. Ha, long time no see.”
Rapunzel’s arms wind round her tightly, scooping her further into the hug, and Cass returns it a little stiffly, glancing around as the rest of the party watch on in amusement. Lance is grinning like a fool, issuing a double thumbs-up, while Eugene simply offers a lopsided grin and a nod that she’s guessing he’s trying to equate to a sense of approval. The queen’s lips quirk up into a mile, but otherwise gives nothing away, while the king clears his throat and stares at the floor.
“Eugene said you couldn’t make it!” Rapunzel cries. “He said you were probably scaling a mountain or sailing between kingdoms or dodging a bounty hunter!”
“Oh, did he now? Dodging a bounty hunter, Fitzherbert, really? Unlike you, I don’t make enemies everywhere I go.”
“With your delightful personality, that genuinely surprises me,” he retorts, grinning all the same.
Ignoring him, she turns her attention back to Raps and pulls away to face her. “Well, regardless, I’m here now . Happy birthday, Rapunzel.”
Rapunzel reaches for her hands, entwining them, and for a moment Cass feels a horrific sense of deja vu – standing in the moonstone’s chamber, Rapunzel’s hair a swaying golden beacon, their fingers laced and faces close, such a tender moment and all the while, intense betrayal and anguish and hatred is tearing through her, clawing to get out–
But this isn’t then, this is now. And she is beautiful.
Rapunzel beams at Cass, but there’s a flicker of recognition in her eyes that roots them to the spot, just for a moment. She feels it too, Cass realises with a sinking feeling.
But in an act so defiant, as though to challenge the power of that awful memory, Rapunzel draws Cassandra’s gloved hands up to her lips and kisses them, just for a moment. Cass is pretty sure she can hear the king’s jaw drop in disbelief, but she’s far too shocked herself to glance over at him to confirm that. Rapunzel, oblivious to the surprise of those around her, quickly drops their hands and slings an arm around Cass’s shoulder, grinning from ear to ear as she turns to address the crowd.
“Thank you all so much for coming, and for celebrating my birthday on this fine day! Now,” she says brightly, “shall we let the celebration begin?”
From over the resounding cheer of the crowd, Cass hears Eugene burst out laughing behind them.
As far as Coronan celebrations go (of which there are far too many to commit to memory, in Cassandra’s opinion), this is one of the more enjoyable ones. The king and queen’s birthday festivities are usually more of a formal affair - there’s typically a banquet held within the castle and a more general celebration held in the courtyard for the public. Rapunzel, ever the fan of blurring the lines, has managed to merge the two somehow. The end result is an enormous buffet-style spread, two dance floors accompanied with separate musicians (one in the throne room they were decorating earlier with a formal string quartet, and one outside in the courtyard with a rowdier folk band that often performs at The Snuggly Duckling), and a whole lot of chaos.
Well, at least there are no gophers to chase after.
Cass, for the most part, has been hanging around the edges of the throne room to keep a low profile. People have been side-eyeing her all afternoon, though whether it's from the affectionate interaction with Rapunzel earlier or the whole former-enemy-of-the-kingdom thing remains to be seen. Either way, it’s better to avoid engaging with people when possible. Out in the courtyard, Rapunzel and Lance are caught up in some complicated jig of sorts, light on their feet and faces flushed with exertion as they dominate the dance floor. This gives Eugene the perfect opportunity to side up to her, a spare tumbler of punch in his hand. Pascal rests on his shoulder, watching Rapunzel’s dance in a similar trance.
“Thirsty?” he prompts, holding it out to her. She takes the drink from him and utters, “Parched, just from watching them.”
He laughs, and leans against the wall. “So, are you glad to be back?”
“Sure. I mean, I’ve missed it all, more than I thought I would. But…”
“But let me guess, you mostly came back for Rapunzel?” he finishes. “And now you’re pissed because you’ve barely spent a minute with her since the PDA fiasco that sent you scuttling right into the corner?”
The accuracy stings, it truly does. She goes to protest, but both Eugene and Pascal fix her with knowing looks. Cass hangs her head with a deep sigh.
“That obvious, huh?”
“Well yeah, everyone knows that Rapunzel is your favourite person in the world,” he says with a shrug. “And I know public affection isn’t your thing, at all. Here, hold this for me.”
He holds out his own cup for her and she takes it, eyeing him dubiously as he reaches for a small silver flask in his jacket pocket. He sprinkles a few drops into his drink.
“It all just took me by surprise, that’s all.” Cass sips at her drink gloomily and hands his cup back to him. “I didn’t hate it.”
“Still, here you are. Miserable in the face of festivities as always,” Eugene sighs, nudging her with his elbow in amusement. He takes a sip of his seasoned drink, smacking his lips in satisfaction. Still perched on his shoulder, Pascal shakes his head in exasperation. “Whoo, that’s better. You know what that punch bowl needs? Some rum in it. You want some?”
“I’ll pass, thanks.”
She rolls her eyes at him, but tones down the aggression. After all, he’s right; why did she even bother to come back for Rapunzel’s birthday, if she’s just going to bring the mood down?
“I’ll… try harder not to be such a downer,” she offers.
“How noble of you. You know, you should just tell Rapunzel you want some time alone with her, she won’t exactly turn that offer down,” he points out.
“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not going to pull her away from the party, she’s having fun .”
“She has fun with you .” As the song comes to an end, leaving Rapunzel being dramatically dipped by Lance, she catches Eugene’s eye from across the floor and waves. He waves back, before beckoning her over.
“Don’t,” Cass warns. Predictably, he ignores her.
“Hey! What’s up, guys?” Rapunzel asks breathlessly as she bounds over. “Did you see our dance? Lance is a natural, who knew?”
“It was something, all right,” Cass begins, draining the last of her drink and setting it aside.
“Yeah, it was great! But listen, sunshine. Your girlfriend here,” Eugene says matter-of-factly, jerking his thumb towards her, “who has travelled many miles to be here today, is lonely. Now, you’ve danced with me and Lance and your parents and it’s been great, but our girl Cass here is more of the wallflower type, so why don’t you two find somewhere private and catch up, huh?”
“Eugene!” snaps Cass, mortified.
“Sorry, Cass!” Rapunzel apologises immediately, reaching for her hand. “I didn’t realise, I got so swept up in all the dancing and cheer-”
“Rapunzel, it’s fine,” Cass interrupts. “More than fine. It’s your birthday, you should spend it however you want!”
“Sure, but… if we’re being honest with each other, Cass, I would like some time with you,” Rapunzel admits, squeezing Cassandra’s hand. Cass squeezes back, before quickly dropping it. “I mean, since we can’t be all… you know, ourselves in public at this point.”
Guilt stakes Cass through the heart at that. She shouldn’t have let go so fast.
“Yeah. I’m sorry, Raps, it’s just still a bit-”
“Hey, no, only happy stuff today, please!” Eugene intervenes. He claps a hand on both their backs and begins steering them towards the back exit of the throne room. “Now, I think you two should duck out now, find a quiet place away from the chaos down here. Go talk. Give presents. Make out if you want, I don’t care. The frog and I can hold down the fort. Oh, but we’re setting off the lanterns in an hour, so don’t stay too long, okay? All right, have fun!”
And with that, the door swings shut behind them, leaving the two of them alone.
Eugene did them a favour, really. Cass will have to thank him later.
Walking through the empty castle walls in silence, they eventually find themselves climbing the small tower overlooking the training grounds; a spot they’ve spent countless afternoons in before, idly watching the soldiers train. Cass would silently watch on while pouring tea or adjusting a tray of watercolour paints, envying each and every one of them, all while pretending not to feel Rapunzel’s wistful eyes burning holes into her from behind. This time, after opening the trap door and helping her up, she holds Rapunzel’s gaze with equal yearning. God, it’s been far too long since she’s had Rapunzel all to herself.
The first thing they do, after the trap door slams shut, is kiss. It’s quick, and Cass still finds herself glancing around furtively in case of any curious onlookers, but they’re blissfully alone besides from one soldier posted at the edge of the grounds.
“He’s too far away to see anything,” Rapunzel remarks, already able to read Cassandra’s thoughts perfectly. “Now, can I kiss you again?”
The impatience in her voice sends a giggle rippling through Cass, and she nods, reaching for Rapunzel's waist and pulling her in for a second kiss; one that she can almost feel her smiling through. Fuck, she's missed this.
“So,” she says, leaning back against the wall as Rapunzel stands giggling before her, “good birthday, Raps?”
“Best birthday!” she declares sunnily.
“Oh, really? Best birthday? Better than escaping the tower and reuniting with your long-lost family?”
Rapunzel stops, and hums in thought. “Okay, fine, you’re right. Second best birthday.”
“That’s more like it.” Cass turns to stare out at the twilight sky ahead. “It’s a beautiful day for a birthday, Rapunzel, I have to say.”
“Isn’t it just?” Rapunzel sighs, scooting up beside her. “Every year I used to look out the window of the tower and stare at a sky like this. Even though I knew the lanterns set off at nightfall, I would just sit and watch the sky grow pinker and darker in anticipation for it. Even now, I have this… this jittery feeling in my chest.”
“Brings back some mixed emotions, huh?”
Rapunzel nods, her smile falling slightly. “It feels like a whole lifetime ago. I suppose it is now. Hey, what were my birthdays like for you, before I was here?”
Cass shrugs. “Castle life largely went on as normal, I guess. Your parents were sad, of course, so there was this air of mourning in the palace, even though the townspeople treated it more as a celebration of your life and the hope of your return. We would leave little messages inside each lantern, it was kind of a custom everyone followed.”
“Did you write me lanterns?” Rapunzel asks, turning to her with raised eyebrows.
“Everybody did, it’s not a big deal,” Cass starts, feeling the beginnings of a blush creeping in as she remembers the kind of things she used to write. “You remember all the lanterns we found on Terapi Island.”
“Yeah, but I never thought to look for yours! Do you remember the kind of things you wrote?” she probes, grinning from ear to ear. “Come on, Cass, tell me! It’s my birthday, you have to!”
Rapunzel bears those big eyes, ones Cass used to be able to say no to, and she curses that Rapunzel’s love has made her so soft inside.
“Fine. Ugh. Um, let’s see, I used to… okay, now don’t laugh.”
“I won’t!” Rapunzel promises, hand on heart, although her eyes are already beginning to crinkle in anticipation.
“You’d better not! Um. Okay, so when I was younger I had this… this dumb idea that maybe when I was older and stronger I could like – rescue you. Me and Max or Fidella would go on a lone journey, searching the lands far and wide for the lost princess, and we’d bring you home and I would, you know… be promoted to the guard.”
She cringes at the very fantasy her young mind used to entertain as Rapunzel squeals beside her.
“Oh, Cass! That’s just-”
“You said you wouldn’t laugh,” Cass reminds her with a grumble, burying her head in her hands.
“I’m not laughing , it’s just so sweet! You really wanted to bring me home?”
“Yeah. For a time. As I grew older and I was stuck doing maid duties, I kind of gave up on that particular dream, but then one day… there you were. And our lives got all mixed up after the fact.”
Rapunzel reaches over to rest her hand atop Cassandra’s, squeezing lightly.
“I’m glad they did. I don’t know what my life would be like without you, Cass, but I don’t regret it.”
“It wouldn’t be so bad,” Cass says wryly. “You’d still have Eugene.”
“I couldn’t picture my life without either of you,” Rapunzel insists. “Don’t act like you aren’t both equally important to me.”
“Sorry, sorry.” Cass reaches with her free hand to fish around in her pocket. “Hey, Rapunzel. Close your eyes.”
“Oh, okay.” She twists her face towards Cass and shuts her eyes, before pursing her lips expectantly. Cass rolls her eyes fondly.
“Okay, hotshot, not what I was going for. Hold out your hand.”
“Can I still get a kiss though?”
“Later. Hand, now.”
Cass takes out the bracelets she fashioned this morning from the blue stones of the lagoon and carefully fastens one around Rapunzel’s outstretched wrist. They’re nothing too special to look at, honestly; a little clumsier than the ones that Rapunzel originally made, for sure. The gesture will surely make up for it, though.
Rapunzel’s eyes open, and she gasps.
“You remade our lagoon bracelets?!” Rapunzel’s eyes are alight with amazement. “But you hate making jewellery!”
Cass shrugs. She isn’t about to go into detail about what a pain in the ass it was to thread the bracelets, and the number of times she stabbed her fingers in the process. She’d thanked the stars for her gloves being so sturdy. “Ehh. I hate making jewellery most of the time. I can make an exception when it comes to you.”
“Cass, they’re beautiful! I don’t know what to say!” Rapunzel hugs her tightly, pressing several kisses to her cheek when she pulls back again. “But I thought you said they should be returned to sacred ground?”
“Well, yeah, I did, but I’ve, um… I’ve actually been studying a little Saporian on the road,” Cass admits sheepishly. “A bit of language, a bit of the history. Just to pass the time on rainy days when it’s hard to travel, you know? Anyway, I found a history book that spoke of Herz Der Sonne and General Champanier. Did you know, they each wore matching pendants until the day they died? Matching blue pendants, the historians say.”
“The lagoon stones,” breathes Rapunzel. Cass nods.
“They were most likely buried in them, so I reckon we may never know for sure, but…” Cass bows her head to avoid Rapunzel’s eyes as she adds, “Since the lagoon was where they fell in love, it’s understandable that the blue stones were significant to them.”
“Just like they’re significant to us.” Rapunzel’s voice is soft, barely above a whisper, and full of awe. Cass swallows and nods.
“I… I thought, if the people who discovered this lagoon allowed themselves to take mementos without the world ending…”
Rapunzel’s hands find hers in the fast-fading light, winding tightly together.
“I will treasure this, Cassandra, for the rest of my days. Hey, maybe we can get buried wearing these too?” Her voice is light, teasing, but beneath that airy joke is something a little more… personal. Permanent. It makes Cass’s heart soar.
Rapunzel leans in and kisses her softly. “I love them. I love you .”
Cass melts a little, at that. “Oh. Oh, I… Yeah. Me too.”
“Here, give me the bracelet.” Rapunzel takes the other bracelet from Cassandra’s outstretched hand and ties it around her wrist. “Now, maybe it’s not the most practical thing to wear it over the glove, but it’ll be fine for tonight. Here, now we match!”
They hold their arms up against the glare of the rapidly setting sun, watching the light gleam through the stones. They glitter like they do beneath the waves of the lagoon, if only temporarily.
“You know… You feel different now, Cass.”
Cass cocks her head to the side, trying to work out what exactly Rapunzel means by that statement as she watches dreamily as the sun disappears below the highest turrets of the castle, distorting the colour of the grounds below. Has she picked up some kind of accent on the road that makes her sound off to native Coronans? Have the facial scars distorted her appearance too much? Is she acting haughty, aloof, more so than before thanks to her time on the road?
“I’m different?” Cass prompts.
“Not in a bad way,” Raps laughs, eyes crinkling with her smile. Her gaze roams over Cass, fully taking her in, before she adds on decidedly, “It’s just the way you are now. I don’t think I could describe it fully, but the life in you, it’s so different to how you were when… when you were at your lowest. It makes me proud of the person you’ve become.”
Cass is stunned. It’s not that she didn’t expect Rapunzel to comment on this; no, she knew she would be praised in some form, because Rapunzel simply can’t help trying to uplift people whenever she can. But she hadn’t prepared for Rapunzel to cut to the heart of the matter so quickly. It’s foolish, she knows, to think that Raps wouldn’t be able to see the effort Cass has taken to become this new version of herself. It’s an image she can’t always keep up, but it’s something she has worked hard towards before feeling ready to show her face around here again.
Rapunzel being proud of her is, shockingly, the remedy that she’s craved since the moment she stepped through the gates.
“You think I’m different now?” Cass bleats uselessly, unable to stop that goofy smile from creeping in. Rapunzel grins and leans over, pecking her forehead quickly before retreating.
“I think you’re getting closer to your authentic self. And it makes me really love you.”
Cass laughs nervously, swivelling away to watch over the field down below so that hopefully Rapunzel can’t see just how flushed she’s become.
As they lapse into a comfortable silence, the rumble of footsteps begin to flood the corridors leading out onto the training pitch. Cass strains her eyes and realises, as light fills each corner of the grounds, that all of the partygoers are congregating onto the pitch below, each holding a lit paper lantern.
“So this is where they’re setting them off,” Rapunzel remarks. “We’ve been caught out. Just our luck.”
“Well, Fitzherbert could have been more specific,” grumbles Cass, without any real venom in her tone. After all, she still owes him one for pushing the two of them into some alone time in the first place. “I guess we should head down and join them.”
“I suppose,” Rapunzel says, almost sounding disappointed at having to cut their time short. “Hey, did you make a lantern this time?”
“Of course. It’s nothing fancy, though. You know that artsy stuff isn’t really my strong suit.”
“I don’t know, Cass. You did make us these bracelets, after all…”
Rapunzel, glancing between the slowly gathering crowd and Cassandra’s face, makes a split-second decision and kisses her cheek once more, before crouching down to pull the door hatch open. Damn, what Cass wouldn’t give for this to be a boat they could undock from the walls of Corona and sail off into the night, away from all these prying eyes. Anything to squeeze a few extra minutes out of this situation.
Fiddling with her hands, she pipes up, “...I could say the same about you, you know.”
Rapunzel pulls the hatch open and cranes her neck to look back at her, brow furrowed in confusion.
“What’s that?”
“About being different now? You’re growing into yourself too,” Cass continues, moving to sit down on the floor, away from the curious view of the gathering crowd below. “I remember how terrified you were at the prospect of running a kingdom, but just look at all this! Seems to me that you’ve really come into your own since I’ve been gone.”
Rapunzel sits back beside her, face glowing at Cassandra’s compliment.
“Well, I love this place! And now that the magic, sundrop, saving the world destiny is behind us, I have more time to focus on this destiny instead. Turns out, it suits me more than I ever believed it would.”
“I haven’t seen Corona this happy and at peace in a long time. Whatever Rapunzel Positivity you’ve been spreading to the people, it’s working.”
“Hopefully it’ll stay this way for a little while longer.” She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and peeks over at her, meadow-green eyes bearing into hers. “I’m so glad you came back, Cass.”
“I’m glad too. You really believed I wouldn’t fight tooth and nail to come back for your birthday?”
“I didn’t know how far away you might be!” Rapunzel points out. “If you were all the way across the continent I wouldn’t expect you to make it back in time, and you haven’t written to me in weeks!”
“Because I was travelling!”
“Well, I’d still like to know next time!” Rapunzel takes a playful swing at her arm and Cass dodges, unable to hold back her laughter any longer. It doesn’t take long for Rapunzel to follow suit, their heads resting together as they giggle in the semi-darkness. When at last they’ve run out of steam, Rapunzel peeks over the rim of the tower.
“I see Eugene. Looks like he’s holding an extra lantern.”
“Probably mine,” Cass offers. “Since everybody else is accounted for but us.”
“Guess that’s our cue to head down there, then.” Rapunzel begins to climb down the ladder, before stopping, just as her head pokes out the top of the door. “So, did you write a poem in yours, or…”
“I’m not telling you!” Cass insists, poking her nose with a grin. “If you’re lucky I’ll let you squint at it through the paper before we set them off.”
“Well, is it romantic?” Rapunzel probes. Cass smiles inwardly as she recalls the words she wrote for Rapunzel, short and sweet, knowing that they’ll wind up on Terapi Island with no one to read them but the lorbs.
I love you, Raps. And for as long as the sun shines, I will never stop.
“...Maybe.” Lowering her voice to a whisper, Cass adds conspiratorially, “But you can’t tell anybody.”
Rapunzel mimes sealing her lips. “It goes to the grave,” she says seriously. “Now. One more kiss before we go?”
Rolling her eyes, Cass leans down to bridge the gap.
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