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#oh i have to call my little grandma when i wake up. dread talking to anyone in my dads side of the family but shes nice :( :)
gardensgatekeeper · 4 months
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'Tis the Damn Season - Part 2
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Pairing: Danny Wagner x Reader
Word Count: 2,078
Warnings: Fluff, angst, sadness, more fluff. As always, let me know if I missed any!
Broke my own heart writing this one :')
If you haven’t already, read part one
Bored was an understatement as you found yourself picking at your sweater while half listening to your family drag on about all the latest small-town gossip, the sole reason you left in the first place. You eventually wandered into the kitchen to get a refill of whatever would shut your brain off for at least five minutes. The holidays seemed to linger like bad perfume, and truthfully you wanted nothing more than to just pack up and drive back to the city but you know you’d never hear the end of it from your mom. And as much as you were highly considering bailing on Danny, something in your brain was screaming at you to hear him out.
You practically gulped down a glass of wine before beginning to refill the glass as your mom walked in. She sat her glass down beside yours, “Pour me one while you’re at it.” The two of you stood in silence as you sipped your drinks until you spoke up. “I saw Danny while I was out today.” You quietly said, as if trying not to let anyone else hear. Her eyes perked up as she turned towards you, waiting to hear the details of your encounter. “Oh?”
Though your mom could be a little perfunctory at times, she really was there for you when things were tough, especially the day Danny called things off. You recall the memory of you coming home with tears streaming down your face. She held you on the couch all night long, gently rocking you in her arms while whispering words of comfort until you eventually fell asleep. 
“He wants to talk.” You muttered out, your voice full of dread and anxiety. “Well, honey. I know you two didn’t end things on good terms but maybe it’ll be good for you. For both of you. You’re both adults now, you shouldn't keep holding onto the past.
You hated how much she was right but simply nodded in agreement. “Just don’t go in with any expectations. Be open minded and mind your tongue before you start jumping in with blame.”
You took a long sip of your wine before replying. “I know. But you know how hard I worked to put all this behind me, I’m worried about messing all that up.” She placed her hand over yours, gently rubbing it and offering a warm smile. “I know Y/N. But I also know that you’ve got a brain up there that will tell you exactly what to do. You’ve got this.”
Well shit, didn’t expect to start crying just yet.
“Thanks mom. I think I’m gonna go lay down for a bit. If I have to hear Grandma Jean talk about ‘this damn inflation’ one more time, I might actually go crazy.” She chuckled in response as you both exited the kitchen and parted ways. Crawling into your bed, you continued sipping your wine as you aimlessly scrolled social media. Your heart panged a bit as you saw your friends had taken a weekend trip to the mountains. Something you had been suggesting to them for weeks. So much for that.
Setting your phone on the nightstand, you chugged the rest of the liquid in your glass before grabbing a blanket and closing your eyes, letting sleep consume you, even if for just a few minutes.
---
Clink!
The sound woke you from your slumber. Confused, you rubbed the sleep from your eyes as you took in the now dark room. How long did you sleep for? You grabbed your phone and was slightly blinded by the brightness but managed to distinguish the time, 11:13pm.
Clink!
The same sound snapped you out of your thoughts as you turned to look for the source of the noise. It wasn’t until the third time that you realized it was coming from your window. Cautiously, you walked over and gasped at the sight.
There, Danny stood with several small rocks in his hands. You quickly opened the window and stuck your head out, the brisk air fully waking you up.
“Danny, what the hell are you doing?” You quietly yelled out. “Sorry, I figured you’d probably changed your number when you moved. Wasn’t sure how else to contact you.” He replied honestly, wiping his hands on his jeans after dropping the rest of the rocks back to the ground. You shook your head at his stubborn determination, something that used to drive you crazy. “Plus, if I remember correctly, you agreed.”
You were then met with his outstretched arm as both of you knew you’d need his help to climb out of the window that was just a touch too high off the ground. “C’mon, just like old times.” His smirk held the memories of the countless times he’d helped you sneak out of the house to go on these late night drives, something the both of you quickly made a habit of.
It had been years since you’d crawled through this window, yet you still found yourself doing the same maneuvers to twist your body through the opening. His hands quickly found their way to your hips, gently squeezing as he helped you down. When your feet finally touched the ground below, his hands didn’t leave your hips. You two locked eyes for a moment until he realized what he was doing, clearing his throat. “Sorry. Uh, shall we go?” You nodded as he led the way to his truck parked on the street in front of your house.
“Still driving that old thing?” You fake insulted, though mostly surprised that it was still running. “Gets me where I need to go. No need to get a new one when there’s nothing wrong with this one.” He grinned, giving an encouraging pat to the hood of the truck.
Like old times, he opened the passenger door for you and you muttered out a quiet thank you. You felt like you were transported back in time. Apart from the more worn leather seats, the interior of his truck looked virtually unchanged; the same beaded necklace still hung from his rear view mirror, but what surprised you the most was the little drummer rubber duck still perched up on the driver’s side dashboard. One of your nephews had given you the small toy years ago at their birthday party and naturally you gave it to Danny. You couldn’t believe he had kept it there after all these years.
Danny slid in the driver’s seat and cranked the truck to life before slowly pulling out of your neighborhood. For a while, the only sound was that from the radio, a familiar tune filling the slightly awkward silence. That was, until Danny spoke up again.
“So, how have things been? Big city girl now, huh?” He suddenly broke the silence. “Yeah uh, kind of a haste decision but I love it.” You replied. He took a deep breath before speaking again. “Was it because of me?”
“Danny, are we really gonna do this?” You sighed out, already starting to feel the rush of emotions come flooding back.
“Yes, Y/N. We are gonna do this. Because I fucked up, okay? I’m sor-.” Despite your mom’s words from earlier playing in your ear, you couldn't help the word vomit coming up.
“Are you though? Are you really Danny? Or are you just saying that? Because you weren’t there. You went away to college while I was left to pick up all the pieces. You have no idea the shit I went through because you decided to just give up on us.” The tears had long started falling down your face as you barely choked out the last few words.
He was silent, accepting your words as he knew you were right. ‘Danny you really hurt me. I couldn't escape it. Everything reminded me of you and it fucking hurt. Do you know how hard it was having everyone look at me like I was some pathetic little lost dog. You never even reached out.” You whispered, wiping the tears from your eyes.
He suddenly pulled off the road into a field that lined the backroads the two of you were traveling down. As he put the truck in park, he turned towards you before replying.
“Y/N I know and I swear to god if I could go back in time and change it, I would. I was so fucking stupid for ever letting you go. But by the time I realized it, it was too late and I was scared. Scared that you had moved on and found someone new. Scared that you wouldn’t feel the same way anymore. Scared that I had really lost you forever and that there was nothing I could do to fix it. Please believe me.” He reached his hand over to grab yours that rested in your lap.
“I love you so much Y/N. I never stopped loving you.” He spoke. You couldn't help the tears as they started flowing again, much harder than before. Danny suddenly released your hand, quickly exiting the truck and you watched in confusion as he walked over to your side, throwing the door open. He reached over your lap, unbuckling your seatbelt before gently guiding you out of the vehicle. He simply engulfed you in a hug and just held you as you continued to cry out. “I’m so sorry baby.” you could hear the sniffle in his own voice as the two of you just stood there embracing one another while the stars twinkled above.
A couple minutes later, you spoke up again. “I often wonder what my life would be like if things would have worked out. I wouldn’t be living in a city with my so-called friends. I’m pretty sure they don’t even like me. None of them can tell which smiles I’m faking like you could.” You replied honestly.
“You know. The only reason I ever come back here is because of you. I’m always hoping that one day you’ll be here. Looks like I finally got my wish.” He answered, slightly pulling back to look at you. Slowly at first to make sure it was okay, he began gently kissing away each individual tear that had fallen from your eyes, getting dangerously closer to your lips with every peck.
“Danny-” You whispered out. He pulled back once more, looking between your eyes once more for any sign to stop, but there was none. Leaning back in, he pressed a soft kiss to your lips. Though gentle at first, it quickly evolved into one with so much more passion and hunger, as if trying to make up for lost time. Trying to heal all the damage and hurt that he had caused. Despite not having done this in years, the two of you found your rhythm just like that. Like nothing had changed.
Before things could get too heated, he pulled back again. Confusion shot across your face as you immediately began to feel regret. But just as quickly, he sensed it and reassured you. “I don’t want to push things. I just got you back and I don’t want to lose you again. Not this time Y/N. Let’s just take it slow.” You were a little disappointed because his lips felt so perfect against yours but Danny was right.
He released your hand and grabbed the blanket you briefly remembered seeing folded up in the back before walking around to the back of the truck to open the tailgate. Nodding his head towards the bed of the truck, he held his hand out for yours. “C’mon, let's just watch the stars. I remember you used to love that.” You smiled as his hands found your hips once again to help you up before joining you.
There, the two of you sat together on the blanket, holding each other incredibly close like your lives depended on it. It wasn’t long before your eyes started feeling heavy and a yawn escaped your lips. Danny shifted a bit so you could lay more comfortably against his warm chest as he kept one arm around you while the other drew gentle patterns on your legs. The soft beat of his heart lulled your mind into a deep state of relaxation. Just before sleep consumed you, you felt him kiss the top of your head and could have sworn you heard him speak softly. “Still so perfect.”
✶ ✶ ✶
Taglist:
@jannysarcher @gretnavannfleet @bimbokiszka
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christmas (day and season) is always some fuckery but i love hearing about drama so its ok
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sketcheydyslexic · 3 years
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💛🍯 anon here, Rin (i am absolutely honored that ya trust me enough to tell me yah name <3 and i am so so proud tah call ya my friend hun). my pronouns are they/them/she/her, thanks fo asking hun and i'm also comfortable with gendered term for future reference. it's also so good to hear about ya sleeping schedule. i actually woke up earlier than i expected, about at 8 am but i did nap alot in the day
oh i had another dream and it's about the outcodes sans unfortunately no papyri ;-; i rarely dream about undertale so this was instantly typed in my dream journal. it was the bad sanses, star sanses, classic sans, fell sans, bird sans (my favorite sans in this dream, he looked amazing!!), g and i travelling to a party(?) but the travelling part felt like a road trip. we were all in a van which we somehow fit??? (dream logic) and i was at the back with axe (i call any horror sans variant axe/horror), dust and killer. i remember going in a highway with in a country side looking scenery and the murder trio loved it but i think killer and dust fought so i healed them with green magic (again dream logic). time skip, we were in the party with formal clothes (axe actually wore the same suit you drew him in and ajdnjakandj he looked hotter than i expected). as we were entering the venue i suddenly got the feeling of dread while looking for a seat (the tables were circles with the plates laid there already and there can only be 4 people at one table) i heard the sanses talking about a plan/bet they had so i instantly found a seat farthest to them but killer (i think??? it was either him or dust) managed to snag one beside me. fast forward, so i was wearing a dress with a slit on it and killer (that bastard, i dont even simp for him,,,, yet) kept his hand on my knees the whole time (i think i was in an established poly relationship with the him and the others??? but not all) and by the end of my dream his hand was close to the muddle of my thigh but nightmare's tentacle slapped it and i woke up. 😳😳😳 was basically my reaction to it.
ya doing amazing sweetheart!!! with ya honestly stronger than ya know hun. and of course i care about the situation about your course ya deserved so much. i've honestly come to be protective of ya and yes i absolutely care for ya, more than ya know honeybee <3.
i am so glad that ya safe from ya trip. also, baby's first legal drinking ugh reminds me if the first time i also drank. i was actually surprised cuz i drank my first glass of a kinda strong drink and i didn't end up drunk (for the whole night and i'm pretty sure i had about 5-7 glasses of cocktails and i ended up without a hangover), it seems like i had a strong tolerance to alcohol. my favorite was margarita tho and i assumed it was gonna make me drunk or atleast tipsy and i was all good. i was just confused the while drinking since i was expecting getting dizzy or something.
i am close to being off anon, just need to hype myself a little and finally share my art. and the thing ya do where ya put the year on the shells are so cute. oh, i finally received my sketchbook!!! and i was reminded that i can draw whatever i want, whatever idea i have, i can just draw it whether it turns how i imagine it or not. so me wanting some chaos, drew classic sans' reaction (blank sockets, tired expression, saying "what the fuck?...") to classic papyrus' leg and arm stuck on a window while my mc tries to pull him out of it m, both are sweating then papy suddenly screams "YA LIKE JAZZ??!!" while my mc just says "just kill me already" and i keep laughing while sketching papy's body (i might draw it digital but I don't know yet)
:0 i am loving the purpled and layered hair cut!! i mean any haircut ya have is beautiful but purple is a personal favorite of mine. i keep going back and forth on dyeing my hair cuz i dont really want tah damage it with bleach but i have black hair and i want pink hair and be a cloud or cotton candy with how floofy my hair is. my indecisive ass just can't handle commiting to something.
anyways, how was your day hun? oh and i love ya and care for ya Rin 💛 :))
<3 thank you for befriending me 💛🍯 Anon! Is lovely to hear from you again :)) I wake up at 5am to get to campus, and get home at 5pm. I think that's why my sleep schedule is needed up, I don't have time to get everything ready for the next day, eat dinner and sleep. It's why I forget to take my meds during the most important time to take them :/
This past week just keeps getting worse, but I'm hoping my hair comes out good today :’) they didn't change my schedule right and now it's messing everything up. I got to see my friends that I have run 2 years though so that's good. I think it just the change that bugs me so much, my school dosen't really care to help people with anxiety. But I powered through it and didn't let them push me around! (Edit) they messed my hair up. But she gave me a really nice blowdry brush thing?
(a while back) I had a dream that (a papyrus, I think it was mutt?) gave me a ring and then he had to hide because someone came storming in to my room. He hid under my dresser, that has like a 3 inch gap underneath?? So, idk how that happened. But then he was gone for real, like he fell back into his reality? But he told me that if I really need him he would hear my soul crying out for help and come to get me but only if I really beloved he would come for me. *flips desk* what in the peeter pan type of shit- I need him now, where is he?! Lmao, please dream papyrus, come back. My one and only undertale dream and it only made me miss him more. Sigh. You dreamed about sans in the suit I drew him in?! Eeeee that makes me so happy! Idk if shifting is real but if it is, I would love to be able to do it. Sounds like nightmare decided that was enough reading for one night xD
I think I got it fixed, it just seems like no matter what I do he follows me where ever I go :’( I can't let myself become a hermit because of it, I'm strong and I won't hurt myself or my mental health :) thank you, I care very much so for you as well, dear friend <3
It's a story I can tell now, so that's cool! I'm not big on alcohol, I much prefer a nice nap. Which is a weird thing guess? I just really like to catch some rest when I get the chance. One time my grandma made a ladyfinger cake and she went crazy with adding the vanilla rum, there was around 10 shots in the whole (small) cake and my aunt was stumbling. I didn't feel any different and my grandma freaked out me. She was so worried I was going to get hungover and not feel well. That's how I figured out I must have a high alcohol tolerance, It's a fun memory :)
I believe in you, whenever you feel ready ill be right here for you! Bahaha, papyrus stuck and his first instinct is to just ‘YOU LIKE JAZZ🤓😏’ I would simply pass away at that line, sans wouldn't have time to get me. It does a lot of umph for me to work on the things I've been wanting to do, since I don't really have the time to do things, and when I do I'm tired from the day. But I'm good at posting content regularly I hope. Why is papuris so hard to draw?! Like classic and stretch? I /struggle/ with their eyes and mouths. I know people don't show self inserts a lot of love, but I absolutely adore them! They always have the most personality to them.
She messed up my hair :// she charged me 150 dollars to dye my hair black over the time of 4 hours bassicly. I could have done that with a 5 dollar box dye from Walmart and got the same result :’) please I just wanted purple hair. I guess it looks okay, I'm not too happy with it but oh well. Hair is hair and it will grow out eventually. Whatever you go with, I bet you will look stunning! I love the cotten candy idea, I tease my younger brother all the time and act like I'm going to bite his hair because it just so fluffy!The thinks it's hilarious when I do for some reason, so it's always nice to see him smile. He made fun of me for matching my cat when my hair was black and white, but that was a complement to me, since I love my baby and she is just so pretty! I don't know how my cat manages to look so royal and proper sometimes, she is just so photogenic! I could gust about her for hours, but that would be weird I guess? When an animal saves your life you kind of grow emotionally attached and appreciative to them, but boy does she eatup the attention lol.
My day was eh, I still live with my dad and he can be so hurtful to be around, but I'm saving up to move out! And I'll have my own house soon. Wow I'm whining a lot, sorry about that dearest. I guess when you bottle stuff like this up you can't really stop the word vomit from coming out even if you are writing it and can ease it. Eh, if it bothers you, please let me know so I can stop <3 how was your day? I hope it was well and you are taking care of yourself! You are important, and should treat yourself every now and then. I love and care for you as well my dear 💛🍯<3
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The Aftermath - Ch. 1
The Met
Summary: Riley and her husband take a visit to a museum while their kids have lessons
Word Count: ~2.0k 
Warning: Mention of character death
*All characters belong to Pixelberry, except those that are unique to my story (I’ve also used some characters and fictional instances from Donna Tartt’s “The Goldfinch”*
Catch up here!
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After giving Eleanor, Gabriel, and Theodore breakfast, Riley made her way to the kitchen of their New York penthouse and began making turkey sandwiches and chocolate chip cookies, for what she hoped could be for a picnic in Central Park in the late afternoon after the kids’ practices. 
The sound of the mixer didn’t allow Riley to hear her husband walk into the kitchen. She feels his stiff arms around her waist and chuckles. 
Kissing the back of her head, Theodore asks, “Making a treat for me?”
Riley laughs, removing herself from his grasp to preheat the oven on the other side of the kitchen. “For the kids.”
Theodore looks into the bowl. “Isn’t it a little early to be making dessert?” 
“Actually,” Riley goes back and stops the mixer. “I thought we could go on a little picnic?” She looks at her husband thoughtfully. Bringing her attention back towards the cookies, she continues, “After Gabe’s soccer practice and Ella’s dance class, of course.” 
“Of course,” he repeats. He watches her put the cookie dough in the fridge. “We should ask the kids.” 
Riley turns, holding a piece of bread in her hands. “Do you think they might not want to go?”
“Nah, I’m sure they do.” He walks up to her and collects her in his arms. “But I had other plans for us today.”
A shy smile spreads across Riley’s face. “Which is?”
“A visit to the Met. They’ve a new exhibit.” 
“With the kids?” she removes herself from his embrace with her free hand and goes back to making sandwiches.
“We can ask them to come with.”
“And if they don’t want to?”
Theodore laughs. Letting go of Riley, he goes into the fridge to grab an apple. “Gabe’s old enough to watch over Ella for a couple hours. We’ll bring them back dinner.” 
Gabriel had just turned ten, and Eleanor was still many weeks away from turning eight. Even though her husband argued that they were old enough to be somewhat self sufficient, Riley still felt nervous leaving them alone. 
Noticing the concern on her face, he suggests, “We could also just go during their practice times if that’ll make you feel better, babe.” 
“Thanks, Theo,” she smiles, eyeing the apple. “I just... get worried sometimes. Especially for Gabe.”
Theo gives an understanding nod and takes a bite into his apple, but not before Riley notices the irritation on his face. After ten years, she no longer let it bother her, unless Theo’s annoyance of her and Liam’s son got excessive. She understood that it was difficult for Theo to raise a child that wasn’t his, especially when his wife made it very clear that she was still in love with the father of that child. 
Even though Theo agreed to parent Gabriel with Riley, he was glad that they had their own daughter, Eleanor, so he could at least be a father to her in the ways that he wasn’t with Gabe. 
“You know I didn’t mean it like that, right?” Riley turns to fully face him, wanting to keep her husband in a good mood, she tries to explain herself. “It’s just that I don’t want them to do anything foolish or—.”
“Riley. Babe,” Theodore looks at his wife, in her old, dark tank top and a worn pair of jeans. “I know. I worry about them, too. I wanna keep them safe, too.” 
Riley smiles and gives her husband a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you,” she whispers. Turning back to the counter, she finishes making the sandwiches as Theo stands behind her, eating his apple. “I’ll leave these for lunch then, if we’re not going on the picnic. We can get Chinese for dinner, and maybe the cookies could be a snack for later today?” She looks at Theo, and he nods in silent agreement.
-------
Ella and I raced down towards the elevator, Mom and Dad trailing far behind us. We hold the “close doors” button and leave them on our floor as the elevator falls towards the lobby. 
We tumble out, giggling, but Ella freezes and cries, “I forgot my water!” She starts throwing things out of her bag and onto the lobby floor. When Mom and Dad finally come out of the elevator, Mom starts laughing. 
“Forgot this?” she holds out Ella’s bottle to her and helps her put everything back in her bag.
The four of us walk together towards the waiting limo. Once we’re inside, Mom and Dad turn to us. 
“While you guys are at practice,” Dad begins, “Your mother and I will be seeing a new exhibit at the Met.”
“Ou, take pictures for me, please!” Ella requests.
“We’ll pick you up on time, promise,” Mom reassures, caressing my cheek. “You both have your phones on you, yes?”
Ella and I pat our pockets, signaling where we put our devices. 
We reach the indoor soccer courts first. Mom gives me a quick kiss on my forehead and Dad gives me a pat on the back as I fumble out the door with my large bag. I wish Ella good luck during dance practice and head inside. 
I played until I could barely breath. I skipped some of the water breaks, my body wanting to keep moving, so when everyone was hydrating themselves, I continued to dribble and chase after the ball. During the third water break, coach yells at me to “Sit the hell down!” so I relent and down my water in one breath. My parents are planning a trip to Italy next week, and I wanted to make sure that I wasn’t going to lose that much practice time; I was motivated to work ahead. 
After practice, I wait in the lobby with some of my friends. We talk, but we’re not fully engrossed in the conversation: everyone either has their eyes glued to the doors or to their phones, waiting for their parents to give the signal that it was time to go home. 
I turn on the ringer of my phone and sit back on the bench, waiting for my parents. Dad was usually the punctual one, but since they’d gone to visit a new exhibit, I guessed he wanted to spend a little more time there; Mom and Dad weren’t always free to be able to do things together. 
I take a nap while I wait, but when I wake up, I realize that I’ve been waiting for almost half an hour. Ella’s session would end in a couple minutes, so I shoot her a text hoping that she would see it as soon as she got out. 
Hey.
hi. r u guys on ur way?
No. Mom and Dad haven’t picked me up yet.
rlly? whats taking them so long?????
I’m going to check their location 
She leaves me on read.
It says “loading” but then says unavailable. The Met has wifi right?
weird
Can you check, please?
yessir
After a few moments, she texts me back.
it says the same for me :(( im worried
Don’t worry, I’m sure there’s a reason 
I sit in the lobby, trying to calm down Eleanor through text and wave goodbye to all my friends as their parents pick them up. After another half hour, the next set of lessons start for the older kids. The receptionist steals glances at me before finally saying, “Hey Gabriel, is your mom coming to pick you up today?”
“Um,” I look down at the phone in my hand, contemplating whether I should call one of my parents. “I’m not sure.” 
“What about your dad?” she asks.
“No, they should be in the same place. They usually pick me up by now.” 
“We have your grandmother as an emergency number. Want me to call her up and make sure everything’s alright?” she suggests. I want to say no, that there’s no reason to worry, but the sense of dread in my chest threatens to yield tears. 
“Sure,” I allow. 
My mother’s mother lives in Northern New Jersey and visits often, since it’s not too long of a train ride — she’d drive, but parking was difficult, and our reserved underground parking spots in the building was already filled with Dad’s cars. The receptionist introduces herself, then waves me over to talk on the phone. 
“Hell-o!” Grandma greets. “How was practice? Everything okay?”
“Good. Yeah everything’s fine,” I say. “Practice ended almost an hour ago, but I’m still here. And Ella says that Mom and Dad haven’t picked her up, either.” 
“Uh oh,” she says, and I can hear her face fall. “Do you want me to come pick you up? You both can stay with me tonight. Then we will call Mama and tell her you guys are alright. How does that sound?”
I give a sigh of relief. “Yes, please. I’ll tell Ella.”
“Okay, baby. I’ll get there as soon as I can.”
I fill in my sister, but she doesn’t reply to my texts.
Twenty minutes later, I throw my bag into the trunk of Grandma’s Buick and slide into the back seat next to Ella. She stares at her lap, and I know she’s feeling the same amount of worry and confusion that I am. 
When we reach Grandma’s small town, she asks us if we want dinner. When both of us say we’re not hungry, she still grabs us McDonald’s. 
Mom and Dad don’t answer our calls. We even call Dad’s assistant, but she also says that she hasn’t heard from him.
We eat dinner quietly, with Grandma giving us encouraging kisses and pep talks while we talk about our practices. Afterwards, we go into the living room to quietly watch some Netflix while Grandma makes some apple pie. The smell of it baking in the oven makes me nostalgic for something unknown, and it reminds me of the cookies that Mom was making earlier today. I hear Ella sniffle, and turn to see her silently crying. 
After desert, Grandma gives us some of Mom’s old baggy clothes to sleep in. Ella gets to sleep in Mom’s old room while I sleep in the guest room. My eyes burn from the amount of tears I held back today, and its almost painful to close them. 
...
I wake to the smell of pancakes and a familiar rumble in the pit of my stomach. I brush my teeth, but don’t bother to fix my hair. Ella eats quietly on the island in the kitchen. I slide onto the seat next to her and watch Grandma start making another pancake.
“Good morning!” she says to me. “Could one of you please turn on the news in the living room?”
I allow Ella to keep eating and walk towards the little doorway that separates the living room from the kitchen. Turning on the news, I increase the volume. The image of police cars, ambulances, and firetrucks from a helicopter view flash on the screen while a female reporter narrates the incident. 
“On the evening of May seventeenth, the Metropolitan Museum of Art was bombed by an unidentified group. Investigations are underway and the city has been closed off, including trains and bus routes into and out of the city, along with roads and bridges. 
“Many dead bodies have been found, and many others are severely injured. CEO of Blaise Enterprises, Mister Theodore Blaise, has been found dead. The whereabouts of his wife, Riley Brooks, are unknown. Senator Nicolae Adebayo sustained serious injuries, as did many other persons.”
Ella’s screams drown out the sound of my heart thundering in my ears. Grandma rushes towards her and collects her off of the floor and into her arms. I stare at them, the reporters’ voices and the smell of the pancake burning melt into the background as I take a shaky breath and allow my tears to fall. 
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louthestarspeaker · 3 years
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Shoulder to Shoulder
My first offering for #Fluffember, the prompt used is for Day 3, Together. (I’m definitely gonna be going out of order XD)  
I’m kinda nervous because this is pretty much the first story I’ve posted with the OC’s that have been living in my head for the past year or so. (There’s a multi-chapter where they’re introduced and everything, but that is still decidedly in the planning stage sooo one-shots!)  
Hugs and a thank you to @bonsaiiiiiii for the read-through and for being an absolute cheerleader! You’re wonderful and this would still be sitting in my notebook if it weren’t for you <333 
The distance between Alan and Laurie is usually measured by thousands of miles, now it’s just footsteps in the sand.
‘*’
Alan and Laurie walked the beach as morning dawned from dusty blue into reddened skies. Alan’s prints stretched far behind him, hands replacing feet in places he’d turned cartwheels. Laurie’s footsteps were lapped away by the ocean as she walked the line where the beach met the water, a sandal dangling from each hand.
It was the first time they’d seen each other in months. Talking without time zones between them had a way of slowing them both down, and their pace was leisurely, chatting about the normal and not-so-normal bits of their teenage lives.
It was things like a manual override added to Thunderbird Three because Alan kept locking his keys inside. 
Or the fact that Laurie’s Dad wouldn’t let her work with Brain’s on ship designs until she fixed her, admittedly crappy, sleep schedule.  
And of course there was school, and the half-dreadful, half-comforting solidarity of two slipping English grades. 
The average mixed in with the amazing, their world was a weird one for anyone to navigate, let alone a couple of high school students. But it helped to talk to someone who got it.
“So, long story short,” Alan summed up, “those dumb shoulder guard things actually came in handy. Probably would’ve dislocated it without them.” 
Laurie shook her head, the silver beads on her braids making a sound akin to a wind chime. “Okay, but maybe next time tell me you sprained your shoulder before you start doing cartwheels? So I can stop you from doing something stupid?”
Alan waved her off with a grin. “That was like almost two weeks ago. I’m totally good now.” He turned another cartwheel to prove it. 
It might’ve been mildly impressive in that way most cartwheels were, except Laurie was too busy ducking Alan’s flying flip-flop to spare much attention. Alan landed on his feet, with only one shoe, the other arcing almost gracefully into the water and landing with a little splash.
Laurie laughed, standing up and fishing Alan’s wayward flip flop out of the sea. “Weaponizing footwear now, Allie?”  
She tossed it back to him and Alan caught it with both hands. “Aww, it’s gonna be all squelchy now.” 
“I’m thinking you’ll live.” 
Alan replaced his flip-flop, taking a few experimental steps. “That’s debatable.” There was definitely a bit of a pout there. 
Some things never changed. Not that Laurie could say much anything, she was the youngest of a household too, after all. Parts of it were universal.
Alan’s communicator watch chimed, distracting him momentarily from waterlogged footwear.
Laurie looked over. “Is it a rescue?”
“No, there’s a different alarm for that.” Alan said, picking up the call.  A hologram of Laurie’s older brother flickered to life above his wrist. “Eagan, hey, what’s up?”
“Hey, Al. Laurie’s still with you, right? I couldn’t get a hold of her.”
Alan raised an eyebrow at Laurie, shifting so the holo-sensor picked her up. “Yeah, she’s right here.”
Laurie gave a sheepish laugh as she fiddled with her own watch. Three missed calls from her brother. “Sorry, Eagan. It was on silent.”
Eagan shook his head. “Why does anyone even give you a communicator anymore?” Failing to pick was not an isolated incident in Laurie’s case. 
“You’re guess is as good as mine at this point. So, what’s up?”
“I was just wondering if you two were coming up for breakfast or do I need to hide your plates away somewhere?” Certain family members, naming no names of course, had back holes in place of stomachs, and noses like a bloodhound’s when it came to good food.
Alan raised a finger, tentatively asking, “So we're talking about food you made, right?” 
Eagan had his hair back in the way he usually did when he’d been cooking, although of course he could’ve only been trying to pull Grandma Tracy’s efforts out of the fire. 
Quite literally. 
Eagan’s brown eyes glimmered with amusement, visible even through the hologram. “Yes, Alan, I made the food.”
“Start to finish?” 
“Start to finish.”
The palpable relief was not an exaggeration. “Cool, we’ll be there in a second.” A swipe through the hologram and Alan ended the call. 
He threw a grin at Laurie. “Race you up?”
Laurie pulled on her shoes. As if he even had to ask. It was pretty much tradition at this point.  “You’re on. The usual wager?”
Dibs on breakfast plus whatever was in the other’s pockets.
“Sure. Don’t know if I’ve got anything good, though.” Alan rifled through his pockets. A granola bar wrapper, two dollars in Canadian quarters, and… “Oh! Gummy worms! Forgot about those.” 
The bag was half empty but that hardly diminished the novelty of the prize. Candy was a rarity on the Island. 
“Let me see what I have.” Laurie fished around in her own pockets, coming up with a small skein of embroidery floss, a packet of trail mix, and the seashells she’d picked up from the beach.
Alan eyed the trail mix. “Well, I’ll never say no to free food.”
Laurie stuffed everything back in her pockets. “It’s not yours yet, Alan.”
“Key word being ‘yet’.” He said, drawing a line in the sand. “Fair warning, I’ve been going on runs with Scott and I’ve gotten really fast.” 
Laurie grinned, a spark in her eye. “Just count us off already.”
Alan counted back from three and they took off like unbottled lightning, sand spraying up from their shoes, leaving laughter in their wake in lieu of thunder. 
Two kids- and that’s all they were right now, best friends, unextraordinary and average- flying through the morning, stretching each moment for all it was worth.
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moreotpsplz · 3 years
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Nicknames my mom has given me
Idiot
Stupid
Bitch
Bitching
Resting Bitch Face
Lazy-ass
Puts me down by comparing me to my brother; “Oh, at least someone’s using manners.” wink, wink, nudge nudge
“You have no social skills! Learn to communicate! Talk to me!”
“I don’t like one-worded answers!”
“DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!” Yes.” DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!” Yes, Mom.” DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!”
She kept repeating that, over and over again. I responded with yes, yes mom, okay mom, I understand. I obviously didn’t give her the response that she wanted and she kept yelling, only louder. Even after she stopped, I never understood what she wanted. She never explained it to me. While she was yelling at me, I was crying loudly but still trying to give her the right answer. A few hours later, she came to my room and apologized saying that she only said that because she loved me and that I should never doubt that she loves me.
Whenever I would vent to my dad or my aunt, they would say that she was only doing it because she loves me and that she’s trying to express her love for me.
Years later, I finally found out after she was yelling at my brother, that the understanding thing was supposed to be responded with “yes, I understand.” And then to summarize what she said and what we understood.
I feel like for me, it’s mostly verbal and psychological abuse while with my brother, it’s physical abuse and emotional abuse. I often hear her slapping him and throwing things at him. She yells at him when his handwriting is incomprehensible and when he is having trouble with homework and therefore hasn’t finished it yet. She also yells at him when he does something wrong as throwing the gutsy in the recycling bin instead of the trashcan.
With me, it’s mostly yelling at me about my grades. Over the years, I have mastered the neutral-to-hostile look, apparently. My face normally doesn’t show emotion around her. As a narcissist, my mom gets angry when she yells at me and I don’t show emotion outwardly. Apparently, my face is called the Resting Bitch Face. I have been told by my dad once that I was being bitchy because I wasn’t thanking my mom for the dinner. My mom, under her breath, has called me a bitch when I did something that she didn’t know I was doing and didn’t ask permission even though she probably would've said yes otherwise. She has called me an idiot or stupid even though I have really good grades. My ‘lack’ of social interaction is troubling to her apparently. Whenever i don’t talk to her or act a little ‘disrespectful’ to her, she rhetorically asks me if that was how i talk to my friends (who I CHOOSE to hang out with and actually understand me) and that she was family and that family is the first one that you should act nicely to. As siblings, me and my brother often fight. Sometimes, he is being an idiot and I'm telling him that he needs to do something or it won’t work. I may raise my voice or tone a little bit and she hears it. She yells at me that i am his sister, so i need to act as the reassuring big sister and that she is the parent and that she is the only one that is allowed to talk to him like that. As the big sister, I’m supposed to guide him but I can't tell him what to do. Even though she never contributes to family events and she is already a terrible mother to both of us. As the big sister, I’m not allowed to ‘act like a parent’ but I'm also supposed to cook food for him, clean his room, do the dishes, clean the house, clean his room, help him with his homework, etc. My mother does literally nothing and locks herself in her room all day. She sleeps in all day and wakes up at night for a midnight snack. Dad is the only one who raises us. She reads her books on her phone all day. I’m supposed to be the parent who does all the stuff while Dad Is away but also the big sister that is supposed to support my little brother. My brother is four years younger than me. My mom can’t, my dad can’t, and I can’t control him. He steals candy from the top of the fridge and makes messes. He puts the gutsy in the wrong dispenser. He can’t help it. How am I supposed to stop him from doing those things while resisting the urge to raise my voice a little (In an authoritative tone)? I have no authority over him. I can tell him to do something and he will bluntly say no. Only my parents can tell him to do something and he’ll do it. If he disagrees with me, he will yell and scream and throw a tantrum. When my mother hears it, she blames me. When he does something wrong or something happens to him, I take the blame because I’m the big sister who’s supposed to watch over him 24/7. From the abuse, my brother is polite and insightful, I am ‘emotionless’ and distant and a bitch, apparently. I dread the months when my dad is away and I’m left with my mother. I lock myself in my room or in the basement to hide from her. She has this ‘out of sight, out of mind’ sort of brain, so if I stay away from her most of the time I can avoid any arguments. In the past, like with the understanding situation, she has ‘apologized’ and tried to tie up loose ends. Now, she doesn’t even approach us. She yells at us and makes us cry and makes us angry and she doesn’t take responsibility or apologize. The next day or a few hours later, she doesn’t even mention it and goes on with her day as if she didn’t just make her children cry. She would open our doors saying that dinner is ready and expect us to forget the event. I have had thoughts where I wanted her to die. I wanted her gone. I would imagine divorce papers or a magical disappearance. I can distinguish my family members by the sound of their footsteps and I have learned to hide when I hear hers. She has this ability to immediately ruin the mood whenever she walks into the room. I feel self-conscious when she’s in the room, thinking that she is judging me. I used to cry and get so angry when she would laugh or talk brightly with other people just after she ruined my day. She would always ask me to brighten up and that my face looked like my dog just died. I hate it when neighbors or people that just met my mom say that she is an amazing person. That admire her ability to order us around with just a word. They look at our obedience compared to other kids that just started cleaning the dishes every week. One guy that just met my mom told me that I was lucky to have a mom like that. I hate it. She’s able to completely change her attitude and demeanor around anyone outside the household. My dad, aunt, grandma, and brother all know her true self. A lot of arguments would start because my dad was informed of something or he wanted us to do something. My brother might whine a little bit or something. My mother, who would be sitting on the sofa in the living room on her phone, would immediately butt into the conversation and start yelling at one of us. Even if she didn’t know the whole story or she didn’t know what we did, she would yell at us. My dad would stand at the side and my aunt would probably enter the kitchen wondering what all the yelling was about. Both of them would just stand there and maybe take a sip of their coffee. After we would go to our respective rooms, my aunt would try to soothe us by saying that my mom loves us no matter what. I remember thinking that it would be better if she hated me. If I knew that she hated me, I could hate her too. If I wasn’t told constantly that she still loves me or she’s doing it because she loves me, I would know for certain. Being told that she loves me while also being on the receiving end of her tantrums sends conflicting messages. I don’t want her to love me. I don’t love her. I want her to hate me from the bottoms of her soul and I want her to come out and say it. It would be better if she came out and told me that she hated me instead of her indirect hints. I hate all this uncertainty.
I AM polite, just not to her. I can’t help it. I say please and thank you and sorry almost immediately, but not around her. My dad is the one who mostly does this but it’s still worth putting on here. Whenever he finds candy wrappings or evidence of doing something we’re not supposed to do, he summons both of us. It is always my brother. But he doesn’t admit it, ever. Over the years, i have either tried not to have a reason to get in trouble or I do it so secretly that nobody ever even notices it. My brother is not like that. He leaves evidence of his crimes everywhere. He can’t admit his crimes either, but he is also terrible at lying. My dad asks us which one of us did it. I tell him no, which is the truth. My brother lies and says no, too. My dad gives us time to confess and if neither of us confess, he punishes both of us.
Sometimes when she would see me after a few days while we were in public, she would reach over to hug me(An air crushing uncomfortable hug). I don’t like hugs. I don’t like physical forms of affection or even physical connection. Especially from her. I would pull away and she would remark, “Oh. Rude. I’m trying to hug you. Nevermind.”
I remember looking at my friend's moms and wishing I had a mother like that. I know their mother’s are probably different around me compared to my friends, but I want someone kind enough to not yell at me but not overly protective. I have talked to therapists and school counselors but i can’t find the courage to tell them what happens at home. I tell them the bare minimum, which still ends up telling them enough for them to get the general gist. They tell me that I should start family gatherings or talk to my mother privately to tell her what’s going on. They tell me that I should start family game night or something to help the family socialize better. I don’t know about my brother, but I don’t want that. It’s gotten to a point where I don't want her forgiveness. I don’t believe that she can be forgiven. She can’t and won’t change. When I turn 18, I'm leaving the house. I don’t want to talk to her ever again. I’d prefer no interaction to ‘positive’ interaction. If I stay in my room or avoid her, the arguments won’t happen. She is a toxic person that I have no obligation to spend time with.
My dad has said that she is suffering a few mental illnesses but that doesn’t excuse her treatment of us. He said that her mother was very strict and that she’s just trying to be a better person than her mother and that she’s trying to be less strict than her mother. I don’t care if she has a mental illness. I don’t care if she was emotionally abused. That does NOT excuse her treatment of me and my brother. I don’t care if she’s trying the best she can.
I have had thoughts of death from a very early age. I wanted to die. I would imagine dying and then becoming a ghost. As a ghost, I would witness her reaction. In some versions of my imagination, she was indifferent. In others, she would cry for months and she would suffer. I mostly thought of killing myself to make her pay. I wanted to see what she would do if something were to happen to me. One time, in a hotel, we had an argument and I got upset. Instead of returning to the hotel room (they were eating breakfast) I hid in the ice room. (Just to clarify, this room is used to dispense ice for the rooms. It’s not a life-sized freezer) I hid in that room for a while. The ice room was next to our room and I could hear them when they went to the room and couldn't find me. I stayed there for a while before deciding to return to the room. My mom hit me. She wasn’t crying, only frantic. She told me how close she was to calling the police and how dangerous it was to disappear. She asked what the hell I was doing and why I disappeared. I didn’t respond. That was enough proof.
I have learned that showing vulnerability is a weakness that she can exploit. If I show that I am hurt from her words or if I cry in front of her, she can use that against me. I try to keep a ‘strong’ face when she yells even though the slightest sign of anger causes me to cry. When I can finally retreat to my room and ‘freely’ cry, I use a hand towel to muffle my cries. I stick it in my mouth and bite on it and I don’t make a sound.
I never ask for anything extravagant anymore since I learned from my mother the horrors of money and debt. Even if we are driving through Starbucks, I won’t ask for anything. I am silent and excessively obedient.
I would always wonder if something was wrong with me. My mother has stated multiple times that I’m unlikeable and lazy. I can’t do things properly and I forget things. I sometimes don’t listen and other times I do exactly as she says. I was always the Quiet and Mature One. The one that Doesn’t Cause Disruptions. I was sworn to obedience from a young age and never grew out of it. I have an internal urge to defy my mom and do everything opposite of what she says but I also am afraid of what she’ll do if I defy her. I procrastinate and my grades are slipping. Whenever I interact with people around her, she always jokes that I ‘Finally joined us.”
My mother is a terrible person. I often wonder why my aunt and dad can even stand her. I want her gone from my life. I want her to disappear. I remember one Christmas, I had on my wish list for her to be a better person to me and to act nicely to my brother. I don’t want to reconcile with her. I don’t even want to interact with her. I don’t tell anyone this because i am aware of how terrible that would sound. To anyone that doesn’t have her as a parent, to anyone that hasn’t had to grow up with terrible parents, they wouldn’t understand. I have depression, anxiety, ADHD, and I am a maladaptive daydreamer. I haven’t told anyone this, at least in person or to anyone I actually know. I am also a Biromantic Autochirosexual who hasn’t told anyone.
I also don’t remember most of the abuse I underwent. I can only remember the major ones and the ones that went over and over in my head.
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vandnana · 3 years
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Loving You Is Easy
Part Fifteen
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I planned on dropping Chanyeol off that morning so we could have a classic movie goodbye. I woke up fifteen minutes earlier than Chanyeol, knowing that he would need extra coercion to just open his eyes.
I was laying on his chest, his arms draped over my back as he snored soundly. I called out his name, urging for him to get up already. As much as he pretended he didn’t hear me, his ears perked up every time I talked. He finally showed signs of life, once I tried to get up, grabbing my arm in protest.
He gently pulled me back down onto his chest and tightened his grip around me. “Please, June, just five more minutes. I won’t get to hold you like this for two days.” He was groggy as he spoke, his voice dipping into an even deeper octave than his regular voice. 
Maybe it was because of the words he spoke to me, but I had only noticed his morning voice in that moment. My heart jumped, and my mind became entranced by it.
“Has your voice always been this deep in the morning?” I rested my head on his chest as I looked up at him.
His eyes were wide open now, and he rubbed them slowly, yawning. “Is it rea-Oh yeah, it is pretty deep. Why? Is it sexy?” A smirk formed as he made eye contact with me.
I laughed at his comment, but answered bluntly, “Yeah, honestly, it’s really sexy. But...you’ll be gone and I’ll just be in here by myself with no one to wake up to.” 
Heat rose to Chanyeol’s cheeks because of my honesty, and he suddenly got shy, turning his gaze away from mine. I sat up, amused by his reaction.
“What? You asked if it was sexy. I think it is.”
Still not looking at me, he scratched the back of his head. “Y-yeah but I said it as a joke. I didn’t think you were going to answer seriously. Now, I’m all blushy at 4 in the morning.”
It was usually Chanyeol who would make me flustered, always finding an opportunity to make me blush by being sweet or suggestive. But, on a rare occasion when the roles were reversed, Chanyeol, although terribly confident and secure, always got more shy than I ever would.
He covered his face with a pillow even though I couldn’t really see how red his face was, and I smiled widely. Chanyeol rarely ever got embarrassed, but when he was, I always liked it. 
I got up from the bed, walking over to get my clothes for the day. He noticed my movements, and peeked his head out from behind the pillow. 
I could feel him staring at me, but once I looked back, he covered his face again. 
“Super sexy Chanyeol, you need to get out of bed. Your train leaves in an hour.”
Chanyeol left his lying position to sit on the edge of the bed, abandoning the pillow haphazardly.
“Alright, fine. I’m going to take a shower real quickly.” He rubbed his eyes one last time before finally standing up. 
He picked up the clothes he laid out the night before and trudged out of the bedroom to the bathroom. 
I changed quickly out of my pajamas into a warm sweater and black sweats. I shivered at the thought of how cold it was going to outside, and I looked down at my outfit. It would suffice, but I resorted to stealing one of Chanyeol’s beanies and the hoodie he let me borrow so long ago.
I walked out to find Halmeoni in the kitchen putting plates on the dining table. She looked up at me sympathetically as she motioned for me to sit down. She patted my shoulders.
“I would say good morning, but Chanyeol is leaving us because his friends don’t know how to use the garbage disposal. I’m sorry June.”
“No, it’s okay. He isn’t going to stay for the whole week, so he’ll get to come to the exhibit still.”
“Yes, but not the opening. His friends are such leeches sometimes.”
“But they’re his friends still. Besides, they probably miss him too.”
Halmeoni let out a painful sigh as she peered at me, “Oh June, how did you end up so understanding? If I was in your position, I wouldn’t even look at Chanyeol.”
“What are you saying about me?” Chanyeol’s voice rang as he approached the dining table.
The shoulder of his crew neck was blotched with water from his hair that was recklessly finger-brushed. I could see that he was now freshly awake, the drowsiness he once felt no longer in his happy eyes.
She scowled as he walked into the dining room, crossing her arms. “I was just telling June that I wouldn’t be as understanding about you leaving if I was her.”
“I see that you’re still mad at me.” Chanyeol’s voice was tinged with distress.
“Of course I’m mad! For June and for your sake! Don’t you think it’s unfair that they want you to go up just to fix the house. They could do it themselves.”
Chanyeol huffed sadly, not wanting to look at either of us. He knew she was right, but he couldn’t say no in the moment, and the guilt he had put away for the night came crawling back.
His eyes glinted that guilt, and I put my hand over his to comfort him.
“Hey, it’s really okay. It’s not like I’m your only friend. You have a whole group of them back home. Don’t stress out about it.”
I turned to Halmeoni disapprovingly. She was stubborn about her opinions, but she knew that it was too late to do anything. She uncrossed her arms and sat down with us to eat.
There was an uncomfortable tension in the air, but I had no choice but to bask in it as we all ate together. I kept glancing at Chanyeol as if I could read his thoughts. It was easy to tell that he still didn’t want to go. His eyes were happy because we were together, but his posture had a lingering despair. 
Once we finished eating, Halmeoni insisted on coming with me to drop Chanyeol off. She said that she only wanted to because she was concerned for my safety, but we both knew that, despite her angry, she would regret it if she didn’t send him off.
The walk to Penn Station typically only took six minutes, but Chanyeol purposely walked slower so that we wouldn’t have to say goodbye sooner. He protected my hand from the cold by putting it in his pocket, and I smiled the whole way, despite the dread I knew I would feel later. Halmeoni walked swiftly in front of us, looking back every once in a while, then slowing down to somewhat match our pace. As we walked to the station, a question rose in my mind about his friends. Although he talked to me about them, it didn’t make sense that he would live so far away when they all lived in the city. Chanyeol recounted the story with all the juicy details. 
The house they all lived in was in a place called Schenectady. It was calm, a stark contrast from the bustling nature of Manhattan, and a complete change of scenery for their little group. 
The only reason why they lived in Schenectady was because Junmyeon’s dad bought property to be nearer to the General Electric headquarters. He became a board member when Junmyeon was a junior and, for convenience sake, moved his family over there.
At first, Junmyeon hated being separated from his friends, hated the quaintness of the place, and despised the lack of industrial air. But, he warmed up to the place once he became the talk of the town. Girls at his new high school ogled him, guys were envious of him, moms wished their daughters would date him, and dads wished their sons could be like him.
But once his dad was promoted to handle national affairs, they didn’t need to live there anymore. Junmyeon moved back to Manhattan for senior year, but the appeal of Schenectady got to him. Being in Schenectady was easy and relaxed, and he figured that his friends would enjoy the calming air too. It was easy to convince Baekhyun and Sehun to come, but Chanyeol didn’t want to leave his grandma. Eventually though, he agreed to live with them up there, and they all started at Pacific Union College.
Chanyeol kept up with his studies too diligently to keep his scholarship, and ended up graduating early. The other three let the ease of the town get to their heads, taking their time and reveling in the party scene, but the matter of when they would graduate never really mattered to them anyway. All of their parents were rich and affiliated, relieved that their kids were doing something with their lives, and relieved that they sought their own independence.
I laughed when Chanyeol talked about the independence that his friends apparently had, and he gave me a sideways look. I didn’t want to confront him with my ideas because he had heard enough from Halmeoni yesterday, so I brushed it off.
We finally approached the huge building and I gaped at the height of it. Once we entered inside, I was still in awe as I marveled at the station’s entire structure. Everything was intensely interesting, but the one thing that truly caught my eye was the glass domed ceiling. I let go of Chanyeol’s hand and spun around looking up at it, but as I returned my eyes forward, I stumbled a little from the slight dizziness.
“Woah June, falling already?” Chanyeol teased as he grabbed my shoulders to keep me upright.
“The ceiling is so cool. The architecture of this place is so genius.” I gaped as he cheerfully giggled at my reaction. 
“Yeah, it is pretty, but it’s also a place for goodbyes, which is why it makes me sad.” Chanyeol let go of my shoulders, his head hanging low as he kicked the air miserably.
“Yeah, but it’s also a place for reunions too. I’ll be here waiting for you when you come back. And it’s not like this is the 1800s where we don’t have any communication. We can text and FaceTime.” I rubbed his shoulders reassuringly then lifted his chin with my other hand. He couldn’t help but smile.
Chanyeol pulled me into a tight hug, and I found myself not wanting to let him go, not wanting to let him leave me. For a second, there was a fear that he would never come back, that he would be more comfortable around what was always familiar to him, and it grew once he pulled away.
But the feeling faded as he gave me a look that dripped with a tender affection. He paused, studying my face as if he needed to remember it, then kissed my forehead. I froze once his lips touched my skin, and a sheepish smile formed on my face. He pulled away, and cautiously made his way toward Halmeoni who was reading the different signs plastered all over the place, her arms crossed again. 
“Halmeoni, I’m sorry.” Chanyeol said quietly. She turned around frowning.
“I don’t need an apology, your ‘sorry’ should be for June. Just make sure to make it up to her when you get back. This trip better be worth it.” 
“I promise I will, and it will okay? I’ll give them a full lecture when I get there.”
“As if that will work with those spoiled kids.” Halmeoni muttered under her breath, but Chanyeol still heard, frowning at her. 
“Come on, Halmeoni, you know them better than that.”
“Yes, I do, but they rely on you too much. They are all grown. You know what, I don’t want to fight with you on this. Just have a safe trip. Call us every hour so we know how you are, okay? I love you Chanyeol.” She hugged him tightly, and Chanyeol held a silent thankfulness that she didn’t press on. 
Chanyeol gave a final goodbye, waving to us as he walked away. I waved back happily, but inside the dread I knew would be in my heart finally settled. We turned back toward the entrance, and back into the fresh, cold morning air. The sun was starting to peek through the sky, coloring it a brighter color than the previous darkness that illuminated the moon. 
Our walk back to the shop was silent as we focused on increasing our pace. I thought that Chanyeol’s clothes would engulf me in the familiar warmth I always felt around him, but it didn’t feel the same knowing that he was gone. 
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makeste · 5 years
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BnHA Chapter 236: Mr. Stark I Don’t
Previously on BnHA: We kicked off Year Five Of This Bullshit with another Tomura flashback! Once upon a time there was a boy named Tenko. Little Tenko was very cute and happened to have a real prick of a father who forbid his kids from talking about heroes and punished them severely when they broke that rule. Like, he locked Tenko outside for hours and even fucking hit him when he found out he looked at that picture of Nana. It was super fucked up and very unpleasant to read, and on top of that Horikoshi peppered the entire chapter with hints that the supposedly quirkless Tenko was slowly developing his Decay quirk, so much of the chapter was also spent waiting for that shoe to drop. The chapter ended with a sobbing Tenko hugging his dog Mon-chan (a very good boy) and thinking that he hated everyone, as the scene slowly faded to black. After that we don’t know what happened. Presumably Mon-chan went to live on a farm with lots of other puppies where he could spend the rest of his days in cute doggy bliss. I’m sure Horikoshi will allow me to continue indulging in this theory.
Today on BnHA: Horikoshi doesn’t let me indulge in shit! Horikoshi is all “lol bitch you thought!!” Horikoshi shows us the dead dog!! Horikoshi shows us the scared and sobbing child! Horikoshi shows us the sister! Horikoshi shows us the grandma and grandpa and the mom! Meanwhile poor Kotaro is all, “I suddenly wonder where my whole family has gone,” and goes outside and sees All Of That and is horror-struck. Through a series of terrible but also hilarious coincidences he accidentally smacks Tenko with a big stick, and Tenko suddenly realizes he’d like nothing more than to just STRAIGHT UP!! MURDER HIS DAD!! and so he does. And that’s basically it, guys. That’s my summary of the chapter. I would also like to add that for some reason I ended up fucking loving it in the end, though it was a real roller coaster back and forth until those last few pages. So yeah. Might want to steer clear of me, because I’m sure that’s some kind of red flag there. This motherfucking chapter, guys. I don’t even know.
(All comments are my unspoiled reactions from my initial readthrough of the chapter. I did a quick edit for grammar and clarity immediately afterward, and added one or two ETAs in the process, but aside from that there are no changes.)
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thank you anon but rest assured I’m already filled with a deep and profound dread. so we’re good
oh. heh
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well that’s just. okay. sure. so a whole nother chapter of this. okay yeah that’s great
oh sweet jesus mary joseph oh shit oh fuck oh SHIT
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THAT’S NOT A FARM!! HORIKOSHI!! WE HAD A DEAL! YOU SET ME UP
holy shit!?!? and this is only the start of the chapter oh god. oh god oh god. MR. STARK I DON’T
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no thank you I want to return it. reason: item exactly as described. I don’t know what I was expecting. we knew exactly what was going to happen. but I still -- !!
how is the anime going to show this?? no one even wants to watch the senseless blood and violence for once. does Japan do those warning things where a “the following program includes scenes of graphic violence that may be disturbing to some viewers” screen appears before the thing airs? if not they should probably consider it. maybe change “some” to “all”, because let’s be real
anyway so guys I’m waiting for Horikoshi to email me my free shipping label so I can send this back, but in the meantime let’s continue to read I guess
WOW
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THAT’S A DEAD DOG. THAT DOG IS LYING IN PIECES IN A POOL OF HIS OWN BLOOD, HUFFING HIS LAST HUFFS. HORIKOSHI REALLY DREW THAT. THAT IMAGE WAS BURNED INTO TENKO’S MIND FOR THE REST OF HIS EXISTENCE AND NOW I GET TO LIVE WITH IT AS WELL. WELL THAT’S JUST REALLY FUCKING GREAT. YIPPY SKIPPY
OH JOY
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HANA GO BACK INSIDE, IF HORIKOSHI GRAPHICALLY DRAWS YOU BEING BLOWN INTO CHUNKS BY THIS FUCKING QUIRK I’M FUCKING DONE AND I QUIT. AND I KIND OF NEED TO CONTINUE UNTIL I AT LEAST LEARN BAKUGOU’S FUCKING HERO NAME, SO I’M COUNTING ON YOU HERE OKAY
by the way, this is weird though. because that didn’t look anything like the prior instances where we’ve seen Tomura use his quirk! there was no crumbling apart, no dust ominously drifting away on the breeze. it was more like poor Mon-chan just kind of fell apart into pieces. is this because the quirk is still developing and not yet at full power? or is this more AFO shenanigans in play. it at least explains why it was plausible for their hands to be intact once everything was said and done though
really I’m just trying to talk myself into believing that this didn’t actually happen and is all some grand fucked up psych out and his family is actually fine. I saw this post going around about Tenko’s mole (you know, the one on his chin) not being present in all the scenes last chapter, and the theory was that the scenes where he doesn’t have the mole were not actually real and were implanted by AFO. I personally think this is a reach, but I’m also prepared to 100% subscribe to this theory if and when anything happens to this precious baby girl when I click to the next page you guys. we shall see
okay so Hana’s apologizing because I guess she’s the one that ratted him out to their dad? girl it’s okay you were under a lot of pressure. it’s not like it’s your fault Kotaro flew off the deep end and started beating your brother
anyways but this is currently the least of your worries though oh god. she hasn’t noticed yet, and Tenko’s sobbing and trying to talk to her but his voice isn’t working??
is that because he’s traumatized, or because this is in fact a fake memory? not being able to warn a beloved person of an imminent danger is basic nightmares 101, I’m just saying. I’m actually a bit more convinced than I was just a minute ago
anyway so now she sees the dead dog, and I have a new least favorite panel in the entire series, great
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hello, I hate everything about this. what the actual fuck
now she’s turning to run and I SWEAR TO GOD if Tenko instinctively reaches out to grab her... shit. I fucking...
-- WHAT DID I JUST -- !! !!!
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son of a bitch. fuck. I’m literally frozen in place and having trouble willing myself to scroll down to see the rest of this. like, can we seriously just stop here. fuck!!
shit. I need a minute. holy fucking shit. I want an actual apology from Horikoshi, and an explanation for why he thought his readers apparently lacked the imagination to fill in the rest of the blanks themselves. like, I was perfectly fine with all of this just being Very Much Implied, dude. seriously
fuck me. I’m just gonna do it. power through the rest of the chapter and assess the resulting psychological damage once it’s all over and done with. okay deep breath. we’re going in
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oh honey. oh baby no. oh my god the “crack crack” sound effects again, and the lines of blood appearing oh god
and of course he didn’t realize what was happening at first, didn’t realize it was him. honey it’s not your fault. but you now officially have Murder Rights to All for One, and if anyone else gets to deal the final blow I will fucking sue
hahaha, fuck
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at least he didn’t go into the same level of detail as with the fucking dog. but I’m still calling the police, holy shit
if anything, Tenko’s reaction actually makes this even worse than Mon-chan’s death, though. and you know, also the fact that it was a six-year-old girl. who died terrified and in agony and not knowing why this was happening to her. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
somewhere Ito Junji is reading this and wishing he’d come up with this shit. Nakayama Masaaki is taking notes. Stephen King is waking up in a cold sweat thinking to himself that for some reason he really wants to start reading shounen manga all of a sudden
sob now everyone is running outside except for his father. of course. saving the best for last. it’s almost as though someone fucking engineered all of this to make it as psychologically damaging to the kid as possible! but who could possibly be twisted enough to do something like that? oh hey there All for One, you sure look happy. why are you smiling so much. what do you mean, it’s a secret. you son of a bitch
hey do you guys want to see the expression of a mother seeing her youngest child screaming and sobbing and covered in blood and surrounded by the bloodied remains of a dead dog and something else that is hopefully unidentifiable because if not holy shit for real? anyways, do you? you don’t? sure you do. Horikoshi thinks you do, so here it is
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t-minus five seconds before the level of Horrifying escalates yet again! five... four... three...
oh shit??
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did he do that thing again?? disintegrate them without even touching?? or did we just jump-cut to right afterward? because if it’s the latter, you mean to tell me we did that with the mom and grandparents but couldn’t do it with Hana and the dog!? and if it’s the former then that’s really interesting though, because I was under the impression he’d been incapable of that until just a few chapters ago when the grown-up him awakened the ability in the middle of Deika City. maybe it’s something he can only do when under extreme mental duress
oh wait, never mind, I scrolled a bit further down and it seems like his mom is still alive. I guess that was Hana he was reaching out towards there. anyways so here’s his mom’s horrified face again
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actually, wait. before we click to the next page, let me go back to the four panels right above these, because this is actually really interesting and deserves more analysis
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I really like this actually. Horikoshi acknowledging that even though his mother and grandparents were very kind and loving, they were still complicit in his suffering in a way because they knew what was going on, and they let it happen. this is actually huge, and I’m really grateful to Horikoshi for calling attention to it and pointing out how damaging that was. I’m actually very pleasantly surprised to see it acknowledged
but maybe I shouldn’t be, because this is after all something that’s very important to the story’s themes of heroism. my thoughts immediately ran to Horikoshi’s own favorite hero, Spider-Man, and the whole “with great power comes great responsibility” thing. if someone needs help, and you’re in a position where you could do something but you choose to not take action, then you do bear some responsibility for what follows. “when you can do the things that I can, but you don’t, and then the bad things happen, they happen because of you”
just, this is a theme that has always resonated with me, and one of the most important themes of hero stories in general. and obviously I’m not saying Tenko’s mom and grandparents are in any way bad people, or that what happened is their fault, because it’s not! but all the same they could have done something and they didn’t, and if you were to ask me what I think is the most essential, defining aspect of what makes someone a hero, I would say it’s that. the difference between stepping in, and not stepping in. if you were to boil it down to one single point, that would be it. a hero is someone who helps
anyway. so I really like that. maybe I won’t send this chapter back after all
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OR MAYBE I WILL AND NEVER FUCKING MIND!! I DON’T!! FEEL SO GOOD!! MR. STARK!!
holy shit you guys. I have no words. somewhere the person who wrote Mufasa’s death scene is taking notes. the person who wrote Littlefoot’s mom’s death is shook. the person who wrote Bambi’s mom’s death is rubbing their chin and thinking, “honestly mine is still more traumatizing, but I can still respect that”
meanwhile I, a millennial forged in the ashes of all of those childhood-defining fictional tragedies, am going to just suck it up and move on because fuck. my whole life has been preparing me for this day
oh my fucking god
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fuck me why did I laugh. I fucking lost it just now. fucking gallows humor, idk
just. his entire family is being blown to little bits in the backyard, and Kotaro cracks open his fucking door and peers his head out like “hmm I thought I heard something just now. hey, where is everyone. did I miss something.” no you didn’t miss anything Kotaro, go back inside
he looks like a kid who’s not sure if he just heard the ice cream man driving by
sob. “better go investigate”
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look what happened while you were taking your fucking nap, Kotaro. JUST LOOK! your son disintegrated your whole entire family and uprooted a fucking tree somehow. jesus christ
you know, the irony is I bet you that despite all of his hang-ups, he’s probably thinking “okay maybe a hero would come in fucking handy right about now”
oh shit
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“you think this is a fucking joke?!” Horikoshi screams, shoving this page in my face. “you’re just going to sit there and keep making your cute little remarks?? A FAMILY IS DEAD!!” okay jeez I get it fuck
oh no, oh shit for real though I can’t
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he’s so scared and traumatized and now he knows, he knows it was him who did it and he can’t bear it, and even though he hates his dad, he’s still his dad, and he’s terrified and looking for comfort from anyone at this point oh god
and for Kotaro to see his son like this, and the rest of his family dead in such a horrifying way! just!!
and fuck me, because if he reaches out to try and comfort him, if he ends up dying because his better instincts finally take over now of all fucking times; if he tries to help and Tenko knows what’s going to happen when they touch and tries to stop him but can’t...
okay but what
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Tenko’s quirk is really behaving strangely though. like this is ridiculous. at this rate he’s gonna take the whole house down with him
also there’s no way all of the neighbors just sat by all la dee da and didn’t go to investigate afterwards. 100% AFO had a hand in all this. shit
now also feels like a good time to point out, before we wrap this all up, that with Kotaro being the only one still alive now, there is no one around to shout “Tenko, no...!” when that hand is reaching out to his forehead. so I’m very curious to see how Horikoshi plays this out, because now more than ever I’m suspecting that the altered memory theory is really true
(ETA: well. shit.)
anyway, so now what looks like a tree pruner is just randomly falling into Kotaro’s hands, for some reason. just like we all expected
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of all the ways I imagined this actually playing out, this was not one of them
hmm, interesting
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so did he disintegrate the pruner and then get pissed at his dad thinking he was trying to hurt him again? and then instinct just took over? guess we’re about to see
oh SHIT!!!
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shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit
just, imagine like another 7 paragraphs of me just typing out “shit” over and over again. I don’t feel like actually doing it, but that’s basically an accurate summation of my thought process right now
I bet even AFO wasn’t expecting that. I picture him whistling softly from his hiding place nearby, watching all of this go down and making that excited Andy Dwyer face to nobody in particular
holy fucking shit, holy hell
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guys I just decided this is actually my favorite villain origin story of all time. just like that. holy shit. this page though
okay you know what, let me just finish this up, and then I’ll try to sort out all of my messed up feelings. one more page to go I think. probably his hair turning white
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why didn’t his hair turn white. Horikoshi you’re such a fucking troll
(ETA: or did it start to change though?? it’s really hard to tell with the shading on this page tbh. but it does seem to be lighter than his shirt, and closer to the shade of his pants instead. but I can’t tell if that’s just due to the lighting here or not. anyways.)
anyways, wow. so that’s the end. let me just sit down here for a moment and try to process this
that page, though. that mental break. the idea of him being so overwhelmed by the pain and trauma of what just happened that when his dad shows up and tries (from his perspective) to hurt him again, his mind just goes !! and snaps and goes “you know what, this is better, let’s just reframe all this shit to make it a good thing so that we can cope, because to hell with that. big fat nope to the alternative, right there! yeah no thanks we are not going to do that”
and him realizing that he finally has the power to stand up to his father and stop him from hurting him. and probably a part of him is also irrationally blaming his dad for being the reason this all happened, because it’s much easier to assign blame to something tangible here, rather than it all being a freak tragic accident that no one could have prevented. (or worse, his own fault. which it isn’t, but I’m sure he subconsciously blames himself regardless, so)
and even better if the person to blame is someone you already hated. so yes, that’s much better, let’s just do that
and that whole “somewhere deep in my heart” thing, I don’t buy that for a second to be honest. but I do believe that he believes that. that for his own self-preservation he desperately latched on to this idea and convinced himself that he’d wanted this all along. that it felt good. fine, then, I’ll become a monster to save myself
I keep going back to look at his face, though. and just. holy shit. if you’d told me a week ago or even five minutes ago that Horikoshi would write out the entire thing, all of it, in all of its sickeningly detailed glory, that he would just say “fuck it” and go all out, and that I would go from “take it back” to “okay I’ll allow it” to “you can pry this incredibly fucked up chapter out of my cold dead hands” in the span of three pages, I would have thought you were insane. and yet here we are. and it is insane. and I’m fairly disturbed by my own heel-turn here actually, but I can’t deny it though
just, shit. that was so good. I’m blown away by how good that was. Deku, stop looking at me like that
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you know what, you don’t get to judge me, kid, okay. shut up
anyway guys, so that was one hell of a ride. I learned some things about myself, like that I will follow this maniac of a mangaka into much deeper and more fucked up chasms than I ever expected. and Tomura learned some things about himself, and I have a lot of Concerns about those things, but I guess that’ll just have to wait until next week! all the best until then, everyone
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snow-pitch-grimm · 4 years
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A Perfect Match
Summary: In a world where those with magic are matched by fate, Baz and Simon are two idiots that can’t see what’s right in front of them.
Oh, and there’s a group of mages that’s not too happy about Natasha Pitch’s new leniency toward magical ‘infected’ creatures.
Creatures like Baz and Simon. (Someone help these poor boys)
Read part 1 here.
Chapter 2
BAZ
I wake up in an unfamiliar place. The colours were are a bit muted and the room seems a little titled.
The bed is too big.
It was unfamiliar but familiar too.
Somehow, I know it's a dream.
The door opens a young man walks into the room, half-dressed with only his pants on.
"Hey, Darling," he says leaning down, "You're finally up,"
"Simon?" I whisper, looking into his blue eyes.
(So blue)
(It's a dream)
He laughs softly.
"Yes, love?"
(It's a dream)
I wake up in my room. The moon is shining outside, and the wind is howling.
There's no Simon.
For some reason, I can't help but be disappointed.
"At least this time I knew it was a dream," I mumble to myself.
Usually, the dreams of Simon are less vivid and more convincing.
Huffing, I curl up under the covers again, this time hoping for a dreamless sleep.
SIMON
I wake up slowly, my eyes taking in my room.
White ceiling, baby blue walls, the light coming through the window, the bright yellow glow of my-
Wait-
Bright yellow.
Not white.
I sit up instantly and pick up the orb from my nightstand.
I'm not imagining it. It's glowing a bright yellow.
"Oh my god," I whisper, scrambling for my phone.
I quickly dial Penny's number and she picks up at the third ring.
"Hey, Simon. Why are you-"
"My orb's glowing colour," I say quickly
There's a pause.
"I'll be right there," she says
"Okay," I breathe out
The line goes silent.
I pick up my orb again, looking into its bright yellow light. The colour of the orb always symbolizes something important between the people in the match. Bright yellow could mean so many things.
Happiness. The sun. Sunflowers, A gentle love. A-
My door flies open and Penny bursts sin, looking exactly like the tornado she is.
"Hey," she says, plopping down beside me, "It's pretty,"
"Yeah," I whisper
She smiles and hugs me close. I clutch back at her with one arm, the orb still between us.
"Congratulations," she says
"Thanks," I say, as we pull away
"So," she says, "When do you think you'll start seeing the signs or is it the pull?"
I shrug, "Honestly, I don't even know,"
Years ago, the answer would have been simple. Mages had dreams.
But I'm not a full Mage anymore. Not since I had been infected by the dragon scale.
There are two options for those who become infected. The majority die quickly, the scales ripping them apart from the inside out.
But for a few like me, the scales take a different path, changing skin and growing wings.
I had talked with a dragon after changing. According to them, the dragons see 'signs' that showed them who their intended was. The signs can be anything from a small flower to a natural disaster. Eventually, there's a small 'oh' moment and everything just clicks into place.
"It is not a search child, more of an invisible hand giving you directions until you finally see,"
I had also talked to another infected, the only one I could find, and according to her, there is a thread that pulls you until you're you just know.
I still didn't know which one it was.
I hadn't even been sure that the orb would glow for me or if I was too much dragon, too little Mage.
When it had glowed white, I had nearly cried of happiness. It had been easy then, to completely open myself up to the prospect of a soulmate. But now, sitting here, with my orb shining like the sun I felt a sense of dread run through me.
Did the glowing orb mean that my match was a Mage? Or was it an indication. Would they still have dreams? What is it was another creature? What if-
"Simon," said Penny, putting a hand on my arm, "Simon!"
I shook my head, concentrating on her touch and trying to clear my thoughts.
"What are you thinking?" she asks softly
"I-I don't think I'm ready," I whisper, feeling just a little bit ashamed. I had bothered her so many times with theories about my match and now I couldn't even face the idea.
"Oh Simon," she says softly, pulling me into another hug, "You know that's okay. I'm not sure if you can do anything about the dragon scale part of it but you can at least close any contact that you have through the globe, yeah?"
I nod. Whether or not it was the way to find my soulmate, I definitely felt a connection to the orb. If the person on the other end was a Mage having dreams, I couldn't control what they could have already seen but I could certainly control what they saw in their dreams from now on.
"Do you want to do it now," she says
I nod again and she gives me a little space to hold the orb in front of me.
I close my eyes and think of an open door. Slowly and carefully, I imagine it being shut. As it's about to click shut I hesitate and decide to leave it open just a crack.
No need to completely leave my match in the dark.
I open my eyes and Penny's smiling at me.
"Done?"
"Yeah,"
She smiles, "I'm proud of you Simon,"
Grateful, I give her another hug. I know what she's talking about. Being the most powerful Mage to be born in centuries, I had always let others dictate what I was doing and how I was doing it, feeling a sense of obligation to the magical world around me.
Being infected had given me the chance to step back and take a deep breath.
And go to therapy.
So much therapy.
"Let's go get breakfast," says Penny, probably trying to distract me. It's usually a pretty good strategy until I'm ready to analyze whatever issue is going on in my head.
On cue, my stomach growls.
She grins an pulls me up, I let her lead me as we both head downstairs where my grandma is probably already sipping on her tea.
"Thanks, Penny," I whisper. Worlds will probably never be enough to convey how grateful I am for her but they mean something.
Especially when she smiles a full grin at me.
"Anytime Simon,"
BAZ
I wake up feeling refreshed and rested.
Until I remember the dream.
Damn it, I'm not supposed to be dreaming of Simon again. I'm supposed to be dreaming about my match.
Apparently my subconscious isn't getting the message. Or maybe my match just isn't ready for us to connect.
I sigh.
It's disappointing but not unusual. A lot of people like to wait until they've settled into their life before meeting their match.
Now I just have to get rid of the Simon dreams.
I sigh and get up to get myself ready.
After a quick shower, I'm feeling a lot better. The dream was probably just a one-off. I haven't dreamt too much about him since the Academy and I'm sure the dream was from thinking about him at the party.
Yes, that was probably it.
Downstairs in the kitchen, everyone except my mother is already there.
"Good Morning," I say, sliding into the seat reserved for me. We all had unofficial seats at the table. When I was young there had been only four. Mum at the head, father on her right, Daphne on her left. Mordelia had been born and another chair had been added beside Daphne's. Then two more and some years late, another one.
The twins sit together at Father's side and my brother sits beside Daphne. Mordelia's on my right.
"Happy Birthday, Baz," she says as I sit down, beaming smile.
Everyone else smiles at me echoing her birthday wishes.
"Where's Mum?" I ask after thanking them
"She had an early call from a council member," says Daphne, putting eggs on Collin's plate.
"Huh? What about?"
Father and Daphne look at each other with a grimace. I'm just about to ask them what's wrong when my mother walks in, the phone still pressed against her ear.
"And I'm done with this conversation. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm about to have breakfast with my family. You have yourself a nice day,"
She sits herself down into her chair and sighs.
"Everything okay, Mother?" asks Mordelia
Mum smiles at her, "Yes, Darling. Everything's fine. Just a disagreement about some recent changes in the match ceremonies,"
Mordelia nods and goes back to eating but I can't help but feel a little bit of guilt. There are many who are not happy with my mother allowing changed Mages like me to get an orb and many have accused her of changing the law just to favour me.
"I'm sorry mum," I tell her
"Don't worry darling," she says, "Now tell me, have any sweet dreams?"
I shake my head, "None yet,"
Father smiles, "No worries. That's quite normal. Not everyone is as lucky as us,"
Mum and Mother smile at him, their eyes saying more than their words ever could.
"Of course Father," I say, feeling a small warmth that I always feel after witnessing the strength of their bond.
The rest of the breakfast is spent talking amicably about school and the upcoming coven issues.
After breakfast is cleared, my family brings out presents for me.
They range from amusing (a small vampire figurine from Mordelia) to thoughtful (a signed copy of Great Expectations).
"Where did you get this," I ask, looking at it in awe, "And exactly how expensive was this?"
"Took some digging," says Father, "And you know we're blessed enough for money to not be a problem,"
I smile and get up to hug all three of my parents.
"Thank you so much," I tell my family, "All of you,"
"It's no problem, Honey," says Daphne, "Now, I believe you're spending the day with your friends,"
"Yes," I say, starting to clear my dishes.
"Don't forget the party tonight," says Father
"Of course," I say as I head out, any bad feelings from the morning already forgotten.
I really do love my family.
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DAMN THE VIOLIN!!!
Sometimes, it happens that...who am I kidding? Most of the times, it happens that an object will always be present within your eyesight. You find it lying around when you are looking for your homework. You find it lying around when you are searching for your glue stick. You find it lying around when you least need it but when you actually want it, it magically disappears.
Meet Louis, a high school sophomore who badly wants to impress his crush. He had a crush on Christina ever since middle school. Unfortunately, he has the courage of a peanut when it comes to talking to people at school and never was able to even hold a proper conversation with her. But now things have changed. He firmly believes he can win the girl of his dreams with his ‘flirting skills’ acquired by watching youtube videos at 3 am in the morning. All he needed now was the goddam violin. He knew Christina was head over heels over instruments and music. His plan was simple. He would go to the talent show auditions tomorrow that he knew Christina would be filming. He would play the violin. The girl would be immediately impressed and hug him.
(Honestly, I think this Louis guy or whatever has seen too many unrealistic high school movies)
After hours of searching, he finally finds the thing which has been playing hide and seek, in the attic. He goes downstairs to his room. He puts up a YouTube video and tries to revise what he taught himself yesterday. He learnt all the theory. He just need to improve his chords. Lilly, his 13-year-old sister knocks on the door. “Do you want your lovely baby sister to DIE BECAUSE OF BURSTED EARDRUMS BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT GONNA HAPPEN IF YOU DON’T STOP PLAYING THE DAMN THING” He lets out a puff of air. He has to move someplace else.
He decides to go to the guest bedroom. That's where his grandfather is sleeping but that old man sleeps so deeply, he wouldn't wake up even if a hurricane takes down the entire house. He settles there with his violin and iPad. Suddenly, the video pauses. “Mom! What happened to the internet?” “Oh Honey, I totally forgot to tell you. The carpenter is here to fix the cupboard. It'll take a couple of hours to back the internet.” She replies from the living room. An old middle-aged woman around her early sixties enters the room. “Ya know kid. Back in the day, we didn't have all this internet and all.” “Back in the day, Grandma. You weren't lesbian and didn't have any Christinas to impress by learning an instrument. Men are way easily impressed than women”, he whispers under his breath while packing and leaving towards the kitchen. At least, the kitchen won't have any distractions
(except for the food)
He sits on the floor with his legs crossed and a violin resting on his shoulder. He was ready to prepare to impress. A white-furred poodle hops onto his lap. Duffy had been brought by Mr.Johnson, two years ago. Louis loved Tuffy, but this too was unfortunate and tragic anecdote- a one-sided love. Tuffy rarely came near Louis. Even if it did, it wouldn't be as enthusiastic as it was near his sister. There were very few occasions when Tuffy voluntarily played with him. Somehow, in all these two years it decided that this is the best time to play with Louis. It makes circles around Louis, occasionally kicking him with his tiny foot as if to ask Louis to get up. “Christina...Meh! Poodles before Crushes” They both go to the backyard to play. Duffy jumped into Louis’s arms. “Who’s a good boy? My little Tuffy is!”
2 hours pass by. Both of them were exhausted. Louis promised himself that he would take a nap of only 30 minutes and back to learning Violin as soon as he wakes up. He goes and falls asleep in his bedroom with Tuffy. He wakes up and sits. Rubbing his eyes, he looks at the clock. “Darn it!” Somehow his half an hour became 3 hours.
(It's hard to admit but we've all been Louis at some point in our life)
He immediately grabs his Violin, hoping that his sister has her headphones on or she would be too busy to notice the sounds and give death threats. A drilling noise fills the house. It stops and it comes back again. He ignores the dreadful disturbance. It stops and it comes back again. Both him and his sister come out their respective rooms, bothered by the noise. The Carpenter is struggling with the drilling machine. They both sigh.
Lilly just puts back her headphones and increases the volume, meanwhile Louis has to find another room.
(Wow, that rhymed. I think I will start my career as a poet as soon as I'm done being a procrastinator)
Anyway, back to our protagonist. Louis decides that he would go back to the backyard. The sun is about to set. The sky is infused with peaceful colours. It's so amazing. The nature, the wind. The pleasant sound of music would just be the cherry on the top for this situation. As soon as he starts to play, the word ‘pleasant’ probably remembered it had some work and ran away because the sounds Louis was making with his violin is just the opposite of pleasant. Louis knew this, deep down that he wasn't meant to be a musician. He hoped that his plan will work out in the end, even though he knows that isn't what's gonna happen at all. He knows for a fact that he sucks at most of the things he tries to do.
(This Louis is getting more and more relatable. It hurts)
Two minutes into practising his chords, something interrupts him, again. It's their neighbour.
Their neighbour is an old woman. His Grandma and her would often go out for Bingo nights together. One major problem is that she too had a problem in understanding technology. She thinks that whenever her son calls her from Italy, she has to shout in order to talk to him since he is far. Louis would often go to the old lady’s house and tell her but she continued doing what she thought was right. “HELLO? CAN YOU HEAR ME, SON?”
He finally decided to go where he found the violin in the first place. Even though the place was dusty and small, there was no Tuffy to get distracted, no sister to yell at him, no drilling machine that made a noise louder than his class during recess. ‘Finally, some peace! I can't wait to see Christina’s face when she learns that I play the violin like her favourite musician.’ He thought.
He thought of all the wonderful things they say about music, the elegance of violin and benefits of it as said by the bald man in some video. He didn't care about all the other advantages. He only cared about Christina. He thought about her hair- blonde and silky. Her smell that reminded him of freshly baked bread. Christina’s mother was a baker. He finally, decided to play. He practised the basics he knew. He finally was getting better. His hopes went up. The smile on Christina’s face he imagined, grew clearer and happier. He closed his eyes and let himself drift into the happiness of music. He suddenly heard a sudden raise of tempo for a split second, almost if something came loose. He noticed a string just broke.
“Ahhhhhhhh!”
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illfoandillfie · 5 years
Note
uhh i’m having an awful day and in the mood to cry!! i loved the prompt list too much to not request. angst 12 and 32? thank you b
Okay this is very late so I hope you’re not still having an awful day lmao but here’s some angsty stuff anyway! I went with Brian cause you didn’t specify who.
A12 - “I wish I’d never laid eyes on you.” + A32 -“Don’t apologise; I know you don’t mean it.”
600 followers celebration blurb prompts
~~~
The sound of Brian’s snores spread through the room asyou quietly cleaned up. He’d had you three times last night, before you’d bothcollapsed, exhausted, and was still out like a light. You however had woken uptwo hours ago. You’d lay in bed for a little while, debating with yourselfwhether waking him was worthwhile but ultimately decided to just let him sleep.Instead you’d got up and had a shower, scrubbing the previous night off yourskin, tracing each one of the bite marks he’d left on your neck and shouldersas you looked at yourself in the mirror. Then you’d gone down to the kitchen,made some tea and toast and read the paper as you had your breakfast. Afterthat you hadn’t been quite sure what to do. You gave the kitchen a once over,putting away the dry dishes on the rack and washing out your teacup. You’d goneto do the same in the living room but it was still tidy from where you’d fixedit up yesterday when Brian called to say he was coming over. The most you coulddo was straighten some cushions that had been disrupted when Brian hadstretched out and pulled you on top of him, actions that had led to a heatedmake out which led to the aforementioned three times.
With the intention of checking if Brian was stillasleep you headed back to the bedroom and decided you’d clean up the clothesscattered over the floor. Yours went straight into the laundry hamper but youdidn’t think there’d be time to wash and dry Brian’s clothes before he had toleave. You picked up his shirt and folded it into a neat square, laying it onthe top of your dresser so he’d be able to find it when he woke. You were goingto do the same with his pants but as you picked them up something fell out ofhis pocket and rolled across the carpet. Quietly as possible you scurried toretrieve it, not realising what it was until it was in your hand. A weddingring. Your first thought was that’s an odd thing to carry around. Yoursecond was straight panic that Brian was gearing up to propose – you hadn’tbeen together long enough to consider it and he’d never so much as mentionedmarriage before. Your third was the calming realisation that it couldn’t be foryou, it wasn’t in a box for one, just loose in his pocket and beside it was aman’s ring, definitely not for you. And then you were back to odd. Ittook you a few more moments of staring at it, brain whirring as it tried tocome up with a reasonable excuse as to why he was carrying this particular itemaround. And then it hit you. It was his. Your gut twisted, a cold dread washingover you as you began to realise the full extent of what it meant. There was noother explanation. Unsure of what to do you put the ring back in his pocket,folded the pants, and left them on top of his shirt. And then you backed out ofthe room quietly. If you couldn’t sit still before there was no hope of it now.You paced the house, walking from room to room trying to rationalise it all inyour head.
You were startled from your thoughts as Brian, fullydressed, wrapped his arms around you from behind and pressed his lips into yourneck.
“Morningsweetheart,” his voice was still rough with sleep, a sound that usually madeyou melt. He pressed another kiss to your neck, over top of one of thebitemarks he’d given you, “These are nice,” he kissed another one, “suit you,”another, closer to your shoulder, “I hope they wont be too hard for you tocover up.”
Youfroze in his arms, skin crawling with every touch of his lips. 
“Hey, what’sthe matter? Is something wrong?” he let go of you, spinning you round to facehim so he could examine your face for any hint of why you weren’t respondingthe way you usually would. 
“Youdidn’t tell me you were married.”
“I-,”he was stunned, blinking at you like he couldn’t register what you were sayingas words. Eventually he sighed, “How’d you find out?”
“Ifound your ring.”
“Shit,I, fuck, I normally wouldn’t even bring it with me,” He was almost laughing ashe spoke, “but I left in a rush yesterday and forgot I was wearing it. Onlyrealised when I was standing on your doorstep. Jesus I fucked up. You weren’tever supposed to know.”
“Iwasn’t supposed to know? Is that meant to make me feel better?”
“Doesit?”
“Notin the slightest. I’m not….I don’t…”
“What?Not the type to sleep with a married man?”
“GodI feel sick,” you dropped your head to your hands, feeling like you could throwup and cry and scream all at once. 
“Hey,look at me,” he tilted your head up gently, looking at you softly, “I’m sorry.I just…things with her aren’t good. We’re working on separating but it’scomplicated. I feel terrible about keeping it from you, I’m so sorry.”You’dheard Brian apologise before. For small things like when he burnt the toast hewas making you or when he stepped on your foot while you danced in the livingroom. And for bigger things like when he knocked over the china figurine yourgrandma had given you before she passed. He’d apologised repeatedly for thatone, doing everything he could to try and make up for it. So you could tellthat this apology wasn’t sincere. It felt like he was saying it because he knewit was expected, not because he was actually sorry. “Y/N?I’m baring my soul here, trying to apologise. Can you please say something?”
Youstared at him for a moment before you spoke, your voice even and calm despitethe nausea you felt, “Don’t apologise; I know you don’t mean it.”
Brianlooked at you with that same soft expression that was meant to make you forgivehim and then his whole demeanour changed. He dropped his arm from your face,crossing them over his chest instead. 
“You’reright. I’m not sorry about keeping this secret, only that you found out abouther. Add it to the list of things she’s fucking ruined for me.”
“Thisis entirely your fault Brian. You must have realised I wouldn’t have gotinvolved if I’d known you were fucking married. Otherwise why hide it?”
“Tobe fair I never expected things to go this long with you. You were meant to bea one time thing.”
“What?”
“Yeah,I only went to that bar looking for a one night stand. But you slipped me yournumber and christ I couldn’t stop thinking about your cunt. How fucking tight it was and how willing you were. She was pregnant and wouldn’t let anywhere near her. So I called. Andthen I called again. Not really like we did much talking at the start anyway. Wouldit help if I said she cheated on me first?”
“No,no it fucking wouldn’t,” you managed to splutter through the horror you felt.
“Spose not. That’d have been another lie anyway. As far as I know at least.All I know is she barely fucks me, always saying she’s too tired from lookingafter the kids. It’s why I’ve had to go elsewhere.” 
“Youhave kids? Plural?” you’re almost breathless as he hits you with yet another gut punch.Every time he opens his mouth he says something else to make you feelcompletely awful. You remember the marks that cover your neck and you want toclaw at your skin until they’re gone, until you can’t feel him on you anymore.“Yeah,it’s why we haven’t got divorced yet. I love my kids but fuck they make itcomplicated.”“Andhaving a side piece isn’t complicated?”“Notreally. Not until you went snooping where you shouldn’t have been.”“I’mgoing to throw up. Fucking kids and a wife.”“Oh,grow up. This shit happens all the time, you’re not the first girl I’ve done this with. You have lasted the longest though. Might have been able to make it work proper once the divorce was finalised.”
“Iwish I’d never laid eyes on you.”
Herolled his eyes, “Right now, honey, the feelings fucking mutual.”
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humansunshineao3 · 5 years
Text
Magnus Gets The Flu
When he had magic, Magnus was impervious to all human illnesses. He's never been sick a day in his 4 centuries of life... Until now.
Read on AO3 here
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alec should’ve been used to sudden wake-up calls, having grown up as a shadowhunter, but he’d been spoiled in the last few months since he’d started living with Magnus. He was awoken gently, these days, with kisses and warm, strong arms around him.
Not today.
Today, he was awoken by urgent shaking, and a yelp of his name.
“Huh?!” Alec grunted, sitting up with his eyes half open. “Wha’? Wha’ issi?” He slurred, trying his hardest to open his eyes.
“I’ve been poisoned!” Magnus hissed, right before his body was wracked with a cough.
Alec squeezed his eyes shut, rubbing them hard to coax them open. “What? When?!”
“I don’t know, but my throat is burning and I-” Magnus coughed again, the sound raw and dry.
“Lemme get you some water.” Alec rolled out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom, grabbing his glass from the nightstand as he went. “Here.” He said, rushing back in with a half-full glass.
Magnus downed the water and paused, blinking up at Alec. “Huh.”
“What?”
“The burning’s gone.” Magnus swallowed hard, his nose wrinkling. “Sort of.” He coughed again, and his eyes widened. “It’s back!”
Alec frowned, scratching his hand through his hair. “Magnus… It sounds like you just have a cough.”
“A cough?!” Magnus repeated. “Alexander, I am 400 years old, I know when I’m dying.”
“Oh, you’ve died before?” Alec snarked back, and Magnus scowled. “Babe, you don’t have a magical immune system anymore. You probably picked up a virus on the subway.”
Magnus coughed again, three times in succession, his hands covering his mouth. “No, no, no mundane could survive this, it must be some kind of… Disease. Like… Throat disease.”
He did sound a bit croaky, and Alec couldn’t help but find it cute. “Well, lucky for you, I know how to cure this particular throat disease.”
Once Alec had made Magnus some hot water with honey in it, he seemed to realise that it really was just a common cold that he’d been infected with. He was staring down at the surface of the table, his eyes narrowed.
“So mundanes… Feel this crappy… And just…? Get on with it?” Magnus said after a few moments, looking up at Alec with something like horror on his face.
Alec smiled, propping his head up on his hand. “Well, men tend to be more dramatic about it, so don’t feel too bad.”
“This feels terrible. My head… It’s like the time I let Lord Byron talk me into doing cocaine and opium as a double whammy.”
“Yeah, sounds about right,” Alec agreed, pushing Magnus’ floppy hair out of his face. “You still look cute as ever, though.”
“Well of course I do,” Magnus sniffed, reaching for a tissue to cough into. “I’m Magnus Bane.”
Two days later, and Magnus didn’t look so cute anymore.
He’d holed himself up in bed with a space heater on one side of the room and a fan on the other, and Alec had dragged the TV in to keep him occupied when he got too sick to continue his translation work. He hadn’t had the will to drag himself into the shower, his nose was all dry and red from all the tissues, and he was always tacky with sweat. He was anxious and worked up from feeling so lousy, too. New experiences made Magnus a little nervous after such a long life, and having the flu was definitely new to him. Luke had bought Magnus an Alexa last Christmas, guessing it would make adjusting to life without magic a little easier. At the time, Magnus had turned his nose up at it, but it was coming in handy now.
“Alexa, turn on the fan,” Magnus croaked, kicking off the blankets. He turned his face towards the cool air as it started to blow over the bed, and shuffled to sit up.
He didn’t remember falling asleep. The last thing he remembered was Alec running his hands through his hair, though, so he supposed it made sense. He squinted at the clock on the wall, balking when he saw it was 3pm. A grown man should not be napping in the middle of the afternoon, he told himself, swinging his socked feet over the edge of the bed and fighting down the nausea that came from moving too fast.
“Urghh…” He grumbled, shivering now. “Alexa,” Magnus moaned, snatching up a blanket, “turn off the fan.”
Alec wasn’t here now, and that was a problem. He’d promised Magnus that he’d be here to look after him, and while Magnus wasn’t usually (openly) clingy, he didn’t want to be left alone while he was practically dying. Luckily for him, he didn’t have to look too far for Alec. He heard quiet humming coming from the kitchen when he padded out into the living room, clutching the blanket tighter around himself as he followed the sound.
“Oh, no,” Magnus whispered as he neared the kitchen. He couldn’t smell much with his stuffy nose, but he could just make out the edge of… Paprika?
Alec was cooking.
“Oh, you’re up!” Alec grinned, stirring a large pot that sat on the stove. “I called my Mom while you were sleeping to get the recipe for her Mom’s secret recipe spicy soup.”
“Oh… Another… Another one of your Grandma’s recipes.” Magnus said, hoping that his throatiness would hide his dread.
Alec shrugged one shoulder. “She used to make this for me when I was sick as a kid. It’ll clear your head and your nose, I promise.”
“Wonderful,” Magnus offered, walking a little closer. His stomach turned over at the memory of Alec’s last sojourn in the kitchen, and he pressed his lips together. “Is it done?”
“Not yet,” Alex answered, putting his free arm around Magnus’ waist. “It needs to simmer for an hour.”
“So you can come back to bed?” Magnus asked hopefully, leaning into Alec’s warmth.
Alec smiled, tapping the wooden spoon on the edge of the pot before setting it down. “Yes, I can come back to bed.”
Magnus hummed at the news, taking Alec’s hand and pulling him back towards the bedroom. “You’re sure you can’t get sick now, right?” He checked, letting go of Alec’s hand to climb back under the covers, tugging them up to his chin.
“One hundred percent sure,” Alec promised. “I’m using iratzes every six hours to get rid of any bugs that find their way into my system. So I can cuddle and kiss you as much as you’ll let me.”
“Mmmm… Good. Come here,” Magnus ordered, immediately wriggling his cold toes between Alec’s calves when he got close enough.
“Yes, boss,” Alec murmured fondly, shuffling across the bed until he was flush against his boyfriend. “Anything for you.”
Magnus smiled a little, kissing Alec gently on the lips. “I feel like shit,” he whispered, like it was a secret, and it made Alec laugh.
“Really? I never would’ve guessed.”
“I probably stink.”
“Mmmm… I mean, I wasn’t gonna say it.”
Magnus grumbled, but Alec kissed him on the forehead between soft chuckles. “Mean.”
“If it bothered me that much, I wouldn’t be here nuzzling into your neck, now would I?” Alec pointed out, his face pressing into Magnus’ skin as he spoke.
“True,” Magnus allowed. “How much longer?”
“About five days.”
Magnus groaned, his lower lip fattening up. Alec cooed at him. “I don’t like it.”
“I know, baby. You’ll be back to your debonair, larger than life self before you know it.” Alec assured him, “but look at it this way. You get me all to yourself for a whole week, no late nights, no emergencies. Just you and me.”
After a moment’s consideration, Magnus sighed happily, squeezing Alec a little tighter. “That is something. How did you pull it off, anyway?”
“Left Izzy in charge. I was due holiday time,” Alec shrugged, “and besides, when have the Clave ever been able to keep me away from you, hmm?”
“I love you so much,” Magnus said quietly, looking up at Alec through his eyelashes, “but I really, really don’t wanna eat that soup.”
Alec pouted. “But it’s good!”
Magnus grimaced. “Alexander, I adore you, more than life itself, but you also thought that trainwreck of a recipe that you tried to feed your mother tasted good.”
“This one really does taste good,” Alec tried, “I checked with Mom.”
“Oh…” Magnus wrinkled his nose. “Fuck. Okay, I can’t say no to you.” He went to sit up, and Alec made a noise of protest.
“Where you going?”
“To write my will, just in case your cooking kills me,” Magnus explained, and Alec growled, a grin growing across his face as he snatched up a pillow and hit Magnus in the face with it. “Hey! I’m sick, you can’t start a pillow fight.”
Alec sniffed. “I think you’ll find you started it.”
Magnus hummed, the croak in his voice breaking it in the middle, “fine.” He wrenched up a pillow and pushed it into Alec’s face. “I’m sorry for insulting your terrible cooking.”
Alec laughed, catching Magnus around the waist and turning them over so he was leaning over his boyfriend. “I love you.”
“Mmmm, I love you too,” Magnus returned, raking his fingers through Alec’s hair. “Thank you for looking after me the past couple of days, you’ve had the patience of a saint.”
“I did snap at you that one time,” Alec mumbled like he was ashamed of it, swallowing hard.
“I was being annoying.”
“Well…”
Magnus chuckled. “Alexander, I made you move the TV six times because I wasn’t comfy.”
“Yeah, alright, that was super annoying,” Alec admitted, his hands stroking up and down Magnus’ sides. “But you’re having a crisis, so I forgive you.”
“I wouldn’t call it a crisis…”
“Babe, you thought you’d been poisoned,” Alec chuckled, eyes warm with fondness as they met Magnus’.
“I’m melodramatic by nature, I was open about this from the beginning,” Magnus pointed out with a grin, “and if I remember rightly, it drew you in like a moth to a flame.”
Alec hummed. “That wasn’t what attracted me to you.”
“Oh?”
“Honestly? The fact that you overlooked Jace for me got me kinda hot.” Alec admitted wryly, and Magnus laughed so hard it launched him into a coughing fit. “Sorry,” Alec smiled, helping Magnus sit up.
“That was what did it for you? Not my clever line about Michelangelo?” Magnus asked once his coughing stopped long enough for him to catch his breath.
Alec shrugged one shoulder. “That one just made me feel inadequate. But then you winked at me and I was back in the game, so…”
“Can’t beat a good wink,” Magnus agreed, shifting around to get more comfortable.
“What was it about me?” Alec asked. He’d always been curious as to why Magnus tried so hard with him that night.
Magnus smiled, nostalgia warming his heart. “The elation mixed with panic on your face when I turned to look at you. It was just about the cutest thing I’d ever seen in my life. I never in a million years seriously thought anything was going to come of it, maybe a quickie in my office, if I was lucky. But then…”
“Then?” Alec prompted, eager to hear the rest.
“Then you showed up for Luke. Trusted me with your energy. And, I don’t know, when you held me after I healed him… I hadn’t been handled that gently since…” Magnus’ gaze was distant, his head shaking a little. “I couldn’t remember the last time.”
Alec squeezed him just as gently as he had that night, his lips brushing Magnus’ temple. “I love you so much, Magnus.”
Magnus sniffed, leaning into Alec’s hold. “I love you too, Alexander.”
“Wanna watch Bake Off?”
Magnus closed his eyes. “I really, REALLY love you.”
“And then soup.” Alec amended, reaching for the remote, and Magnus wrinkled his nose.
Annoyingly, the soup turned out to be delicious, and Alec never, ever shut up about it for the rest of their long, ever-young lives.
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leisurelypanda · 5 years
Note
i'm so mean to bucky but i honestly just need something with shrunkyclunks and bucky being mugged and then getting protective care later from steve, i'm evil i know sorry haha
You want angst? Okay! >:D
https://archiveofourown.org/works/18376730
Being Captain America’s boyfriend was never guaranteed to be easy. Despite the fact that both the Avengers’ public relations team, Tony Stark’s personal team, and all of Bucky’s friends had all told him not to google himself after their relationship became public, Bucky hadn’t been able to resist the temptation. It was everything that he could have predicted and more.
There were strong supporters and vocal detractors. Some people thirst tweeted him, others thirst tweeted Steve (which wasn’t new), and some thirst tweeted both of them. That part was fine, if a little… invasive. Other people claimed that Steve could do better. Bucky ignored those, because honestly, who cared? Steve thought he was sexy (a fact that still made Bucky feel a little giddy) and that was all that mattered.
The main issue was the religious nuts who had a collective aneurysm, as though the fact that Captain America was fucking a guy was a personal attack. Steve ignored them, but he was a little more experienced ignoring such people. Bucky was honestly a bit worried. There had been more than one conservative speaker who claimed that Bucky was an agent of the Devil who had corrupted the moral symbol of America, and by extension, the entire country as a whole.
If it had been something normal and simple such as, “The gays cause floods, wildfires, and tornados,” that would’ve been fine. Those made Bucky chuckle. Claiming that he personally was a danger and threat and seeing people agree with it so easily was a little more disturbing.
After about a month of that, Bucky started a total social media blackout. They were right, it wasn’t worth the worry. Steve started training him in combat skills, too. “You never know when you’ll need to defend yourself,” he said. Bucky laughed it off more to deflect from the fact that he was actually kinda worried.
About a month into his social media blackout, Bucky was minding his own business while walking towards his apartment. The Tower was nice, but it wasn’t Brooklyn and Bucky really did like having his own space. It wasn’t anything fancy, but for a guy who was working on a cupcake shop, it was everything he needed it to be: comfortable, warm, and within his ability to pay.
Brooklyn was beautiful. The fact that Bucky had grown up there made him biased, but also right. He loved how it seemed both old and new. Steve sometimes talked about how it used to look like, what people used to do there. He’d drawn pictures of tall buildings that were piles of shacks more than anything connected by rows of laundry hung out over the streets to dry.
It was amazing, both from an artistic sense and from a historical one. Now, Brooklyn was a place full of youth and vigor. It seemed full of art and possibilities and sometimes Bucky caught Steve’s eyes glaze over, as if he was imagining what life might’ve been like in this Brooklyn instead of the one he grew up in. Maybe he would’ve had a future instead of bleak prospects and a weak body.
Bucky turned the corner and continued walking towards his apartment like he always did. As he passed by the alley between a bar and a pizza joint, he was grabbed from behind. His yell was muffled as he was slammed against the brick wall behind him. The back of his head throbbed in pain.
“What the? Who the hell are you?!” he demanded. It came out more as a groan than a yell like he’d hoped for.
“Are you Bucky Barnes?” one of them asked. There were three of them. They each wore black ski masks like some cheesy movie trope, but at the moment, Bucky was actually legitimately terrified.
“Who wants to know?” Bucky replied. They looked at each other before one of them checked his back pockets until they found his wallet.
“It’s him,” they reported.
“Well then, Bucky,” the first mugger said. “We’re here to save the soul of Captain America.”
An icy sliver of dread passed through Bucky’s stomach as he caught the sliver of a knife while someone else produced a gun. His brief amount of combat training with Steve kicked in and he bashed his head against the nose of the mugger who held him against the wall. Bucky grabbed the blade that the mugger dropped and dropped into a defensive posture.
They couldn’t have all brought knives like normal psychopaths, could they? Bucky thought.
He attacked and managed to disarm the second one before he decided to make a run for it rather than try to fight his way out. As he was making his getaway, though, he heard a shot followed by the sudden stabbing of a gunshot strike like lightning in his leg. He didn’t have time. He dashed into the bar. He went straight into the bar, his leg throbbing in protest with every step.
“Call an ambulance,” Bucky said through clenched teeth. The bartender nodded and picked up the phone. Bucky barely registered what he said as he tried desperately to keep pressure on a wound he couldn’t see. When the bartender was done, he came around the bar with a rag and a length of twine.
“They’re on their way,” he said. “Where is it?”
“Thigh,” Bucky breathed. “Back. Can’t see.”
The bartender rolled him over on his side and pressed the rag to the wound. Bucky cried out in pain as the bartender secured the cloth to his leg with quick and brutal precision.
“What’s your name, son?” the bartender asked. “I’m Steven Goldberg.”
“Bu-Bucky Barnes,” he said. “Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me yet,” the bartender said. “The ambulance will be here soon. Tell me about yourself.”
“I—I make cupcakes,” he said. “Barnes’ Artisanal Bakery.”
“You just make cupcakes at your bakery?” Steven asked. Bucky chuckled and shook his head.
“No, they’re just… my specialty,” he said. “Make bread, too. Lots of challah. Grandma’s recipe.”
“You Jewish?” Steven asked. Bucky nodded. “Me, too. Great-grandma was saved by Captain America during the Holocaust. Named my granddad Steve after him. My ma named me after him.”
Bucky smiled. “He’s my… boyfriend,” Bucky said. “Ma was so proud… when she heard. Said it made up for… me eating bacon.”
Steven laughed at that. Bucky chuckled a bit at that, too. Then he closed his eyes. Steven shook him lightly.
“Stay with me, Bucky!” he said sternly. “Come on, tell me about your favorite cupcake recipe. How did you meet Steve Rogers?”
“Catered a… party… at the tower,” Bucky said. “Just tired…”
“Hey, hey, stay awake!” Steven said. He slapped Bucky’s face lightly. “The ambulance is almost here, gotta stay awake.”
Everything went dark.
Bucky heard people. He heard voices, but they were speaking like he was underwater or something. He couldn’t make anything out. Someone sounded stressed. It might’ve been Steve. He couldn’t tell. He wished they would be quiet. He was still so tired.
He became aware of some terrible, searing pain. It didn’t feel anything like the bullet. The bullet felt just fine in comparison to this, like he’d been hit with a stick. He felt like he was burning from the inside out. He might have screamed, maybe it was someone else. After a while, he passed out again.
When he next came to, he heard beeping by his bedside. He groaned softly and the next thing he knew, someone was holding his hand tightly.
“Buck?” someone said. It was Steve. Bucky grinned knowing that Steve was with him. “Come on, Bucky wake up for me, please.”
“Stevie,” Bucky replied. It was little more than a murmur. His voice was hoarse and his throat hurt like hell. It wasn’t a dream, then. He had screamed, but he didn’t know why.
“Oh, thank God,” Steve sighed with relief. “Can you open your eyes?”
Bucky slowly opened them. He looked up into a face that was both strange and familiar. It was Steve, his Steve, but he’d grown a beard at some point. That was weird. Steve never had facial hair. He definitely hadn’t had one the last time Bucky saw him. He looked amazing, though.
“Nice beard,” Bucky said. Steve grinned and laughed with relief. “Am I in a hospital?”
“Yeah, yeah you are,” Steve replied. He looked down with concern at Bucky’s face. “How… do you feel?”
Bucky thought for a moment. He felt… fine. Better than fine, actually. He wasn’t in any pain at all. After a gunshot wound, he figured he’d at least be a bit tender afterwards or have a lot of pain. Even his head felt clear, rather having than the dull throb and foggy senses that might have accompanied a concussion.
“What happened?” Bucky asked.
“You were attacked,” Steve said. His face was resolute, but Bucky could see the guilt and sadness underneath. The guy who called the ambulance said that he didn’t know who did it.
“I don’t, either,” Bucky said. “They just said they were trying to save your soul.”
Steve grimaced. “Anyway, after you were out of danger, you went into shock,” he said. “The doctors said that you had a mild concussion and you’d lost a lot of blood despite what Mr. Goldberg did.”
“He was named after ya, ya know,” Bucky said. “Said his great-grandma was saved by you during the Holocaust.”
“Really?” Steve said. “He didn’t say anything like that to me. I saved a lot of people from the camps whenever I found them.”
“Here I thought my folks were the only Jews who were crazy for ya,” Bucky said. “Clearly all of us love you. You should convert.”
Steve laughed at that. “Sure, Buck. I’ll get right on it,” he said. “Do you feel… strange, at all?”
Bucky frowned at him. “What do you mean, ‘strange’?” he asked.
Steve shrugged and Bucky could see his face blush a bit. “I don’t know… different,” he replied.
Bucky stared at him. “I have an inexplicable urge to run a marathon,” he said. “Does that count as strange?”
“Uh, it might.”
“Steve,” Bucky said sternly. “What did you do?”
Steve looked down sheepishly. “You lost a lot of blood,” Steve replied. “The paramedics didn’t have enough of your blood type, AB negative. Said it was pretty rare. I… offered mine. I apparently have the universal donor or something.”
Bucky blinked. “Okay,” he said. “What does that have to do with me feeling weirdly energetic?”
Steve ducked his head. “The… docs think that I might’ve passed on the serum to you.”
It took a minute for that little tidbit to seep in. Bucky smiled slowly, then all at once.
“They do?” he asked.
“Yeah,” Steve said. “The surgery to get the bullet out was just a few hours ago. They had difficulty keeping you sedated because of the change, actually.”
“How much blood did you give me?” Bucky asked.
“Enough, apparently,” Steve said sheepishly. “They want to monitor you, see if I really did pass everything on.”
“Fuck that!” Bucky cried. He took out the IV and jumped to his feet. He looked down at his body. What had once been skinny arms on a broad frame was now lined with thick muscle. The next thing he did was lift up his hospital gown and check his dick. He barely recognized it. His flaccid length was about as long as he’d used to be while hard. “Damn, look at that! Holy shit!”
“Buck, please, we’re in public,” Steve said with a blush.
“We’re alone in here,” Bucky said with a mischievous grin. “Pull the blinds, maybe we can get a quickie in before the doctor gets here.”
“Buck, I’m serious,” Steve said sternly.
“So am I!” Bucky replied. “It’s not every day you wake up in a brand new body. Come on, help me break this baby in.”
Steve’s blush grew. “Later, I promise,” he said.
Bucky stared at him before he dropped his gown. His dick, which had been working its way to hardness softened.
“Okay,” he said. “Later.”
The doctors cleared Bucky to leave as soon as they saw he was up and about. His ma cried from relief when she arrived and found him. Bucky hugged her tightly and realized that he probably had to be gentle when she groaned a bit more easily than he remembered. His very next thought was that he was gonna get her back for all the years of oppressively bone-crushing hugs she always gave him.
He went back with Steve to the tower where they proceeded to… do absolutely nothing. They didn’t go down to the gym or fuck or even watch tv. Steve just had Bucky sit down on the couch while he did everything. He brought Bucky the biggest sandwiches Bucky had ever seen, he put Bucky’s shoes away for him, he cleaned every visible surface of his apartment twice, he got Bucky everything he wanted, and was even waiting outside when Bucky emerged from the bathroom.
“Steve, come on, I’m fine,” Bucky said. He took Steve’s hand. “Come on, let’s do something fun if we have to stay here.”
“No, Bucky,” Steve said. He jerked his hand out of Bucky’s like it was burned and… Bucky definitely felt that. He scowled at Steve.
“Fine,” he growled. He walked around Steve towards the front door.
“Where are you going?” Steve demanded.
“Home,” Bucky said as he shoved his feet into his shoes. “I’ve got things to do.”
The sound the door made when he slammed it made him feel a little bit satisfied.
It wasn’t until late that evening when Bucky’s phone rang. He looked down at Steve’s number. He was still mad, though, so he let it go to voicemail.
In the hours that he’d been home, he’d cleaned up everything. There was a lot, considering that Bucky tended to not have time to clean things between running a bakery and dating a superhero. His newfound strength and energy, though, proved convenient. He picked up the couch with ease to clean under it and even the bed seemed light to him.
It didn’t seem to matter, though. Steve, for whatever reason, didn’t seem to think that Bucky’s new abilities were all that interesting. He’d backed away from his touch and even turned away when Bucky had tried to kiss him earlier.
What if he doesn’t like the way I look, now? Bucky thought. It made the icy feeling in his gut grow. He curled in on himself, picking his feet up and wrapping his arms around his ankles. It was true, he had been shorter and skinnier than Steve when they met, but surely Steve hadn’t just liked him for his body… right?
The thought wouldn’t leave, though. Bucky eventually ended up falling asleep on the couch with nothing but an old afghan.
His alarm went off the same time it did every morning. Bucky groaned as he pressed snooze. He was gonna take the day off. He’d use the excuse that he’d been shot to defend it if anyone asked. Yesterday had been stressful, after all, in more ways than one.
He did, however, look at Steve’s contact on his phone. His phone said that he had a message from him. There wasn’t anything else, though. It wasn’t like him to ignore Bucky like this, though. Finally, Bucky decided to press the voicemail notification.
Hey, Buck, the message began. I’m sorry for what happened to ya today. Sorry that… you got hurt because of me. If we weren’t together, this wouldn’t ever have happened.
There was a pause in the message and Bucky’s heart stopped. “Steve, don’t you fucking dare,” he grumbled.
I hate that you got hurt because of me, Buck. I couldn’t live with myself if it happened again. I… I think it’s best that we go our separate ways, now.
Bucky couldn’t breathe. His eyes filled with tears and he clutched his shirt over his heart. “No, Steve, stop!”
So… I guess this is goodbye, Buck. I hope you live a good life… End of message. To delete this message—
Bucky hung up. His mind swirled with a tempest of emotions. Grief, shock, denial, rage, hate, and the sharp, bitter sting of rejection all fought for dominance. Bucky fell to his knees on the floor. He looked back down at his phone only to see that he��d crushed it in his hand. He banged his other hand on the coffee table and it cracked.
“Dammit!” he shouted. He got up, still seething with anger as he washed his hand under the sink. Thankfully, no glass had gotten in the cut across his palm, but he still bandaged it up. He would probably be completely fine after a few hours.
The thought of that made him think of Steve, though. Steve did this, made him this way. His body was new and different and strange. He’d broken his phone and his coffee table already. He couldn’t afford to replace them either! And now… now there was no one around to teach him how to adjust.
His legs buckled and he fell to his knees in a corner of the kitchen. He sobbed. Yesterday he’d been mugged, shot, and woken up a different person. Today, he was more alone than he’d ever felt at any other time in his life.
He didn’t know how long he stayed like that. He cried until he couldn’t breathe and kept crying. It was the stupidest, dumbest, most Steve-like reason to break up. Protecting him… asshole.
When he looked up and cleaned himself off, he could hear a din of voices at his door. He walked over as quietly as he could and looked through the hole on his door. They had cameras and mics and Bucky groaned softly. This was the last thing he needed.
He turned around and started packing a bag. The first thing he’d need was to get to the tower. There was no fucking way he was letting Steve just break up with him over this. He took everything he was likely to need and packed it into a backpack before he snuck out the fire escape.
For some reason, there were no paparazzi at the bottom of the fire escape. Whether that was because they were leery about going into a strange alley or because they didn’t know about it, Bucky didn’t care. He jumped down from the bottom level and grinned triumphantly when his body only felt slightly uncomfortable at the landing. He’d need to work on that.
He marched towards the street and hailed a cab, which admittedly took him a few minutes, but it arrived before the press realized that he’d duped them.
“Avengers Tower,” he said as he climbed into the back seat.
The drive was as slow as he expected, honestly. Traffic was always bad in New York, but what mattered was that he wasn’t around a bunch of people that he could bump into and inadvertently send hurtling into oncoming traffic or onto the third rail at the subway or something.
Nearly an hour and a half later, Bucky arrived and paid the driver. He tried not to wince at how much it cost to get him there, but he didn’t care at the moment. He was totally getting Steve to pay for this shit.
Unfortunately, the press were here, too. As soon as he got out of the cab, they swarmed him like a school of piranha.
“Bucky Barnes, is it true that Captain America broke up with you?!”
“Mr. Barnes, can you confirm that you were kidnapped yesterday?!”
“Do the events that happened yesterday have anything to do with your new appearance?!”
“Was your whole relationship with Captain America a plot to steal the serum?!”
Bucky growled, but otherwise ignored them as he marched inside. Security guards let him through and held the reporters back. He sighed as he stepped inside.
“I guess you’re here to see Steve?” came a voice. Bucky turned to see Tony leaning on the front counter.
“What happened?” Bucky asked.
“You don’t know? You’re the one who became the world’s second super soldier,” Tony said. “Honestly, I’m surprised it took this long for people to try this. Steve having O negative blood and the serum being in it, it doesn’t exactly shock me that giving someone else his blood would pass the serum along.”
“I know about that,” Bucky said. “But everything else, no. I, uh, broke my phone.”
Tony glanced down at his hands and nodded knowingly. “I’ll hook you up with a Stark phone,” he said. “Had to make some that Steve could use after he kept breaking normal ones.”
“Thanks,” Bucky said. “So what’s happened?”
“It was about as dramatic an announcement as I’ve ever seen,” Tony said. “Steve told some press yesterday when they came here asking what happened and told them the two of you were no longer a thing. Next thing anyone knew, the Internet exploded. You’ve got fangirls crying about their OTP breaking up and everything.”
“Great,” Bucky said.
“So did you?” Tony asked.
“He left a message on my phone,” Bucky growled.
“Wait… he did?” Tony demanded, his eyes going wide. “That’s a dick move.”
“Yeah, so let me know where he is because he and I are gonna have words,” Bucky growled.
“He’s in the gym,” Tony said as Bucky got into the elevator. “Going to town on some punching bags, I’ll bet. I’ll take care of the press. Give him a good ole’ one two for me, all right?”
Bucky grinned savagely. “Sure thing.”
His heart was hammering in his chest and his body thrummed with nervous energy as the elevator moved. When it dinged and the doors opened, the only thing Bucky could hear was the sound of punching echoing through the room. He followed it until he saw Steve. In spite of the anger and sadness and hurt he felt, he took a moment to admire Steve’s form. Only a moment, though. He walked up until he was behind Steve.
“Hey, punk,” he said. Steve whipped around and before he could say anything, Bucky gave him a right hook, which nailed him square in the jaw. Steve stumbled back and Bucky grinned with satisfaction, knowing that he’d caught Steve off-guard.
“Bucky?! What—” Bucky interrupted him with a left punch, which Steve blocked easily. “Stop!”
“Stop?!” Bucky demanded. “Where do you get off telling me to stop?!”
He lunged at Steve and they tumbled to the floor. Bucky might not have any knowledge of fighting, but he was strong, strong enough that he was able to make Steve fight for his victory. He punched and kicked and shoved and even bit Steve before he ended up on the floor of the gym with his arms pinned above his head and Steve kneeling over him.
“Fuck you,” Bucky growled. “You’re a damn asshole, punk.”
Steve’s gaze softened. “I’m sorry.”
“I don’t want your damned apology!” Bucky yelled. “I want an explanation! I feel like I deserve that much!”
Steve sighed. “I know you’re angry—”
“No shit.”
“I just couldn’t stand to see you get hurt again!” Steve shouted. “You got hurt because of me! I did the only thing I could think of that could protect you!”
“You’re not protecting me,” Bucky said. Steve blinked above him. Bucky closed his eyes and willed himself not to cry. “You’re not protecting me.”
“Buck, what’s going on?” Steve asked.
“Everything, you fucking moron!” Bucky cried. “I broke my fucking phone, I broke my table, I twisted some ladder rails on my way out the door trying to avoid the paparazzi, I had to stop myself from slamming a cab door closed cause I can’t afford to break more shit. I can’t clock people for getting in my face cause I don’t wanna hurt anyone.
“You did this to me, you asshole. You saved my life and made me a super soldier and you’re the only one who knows what this shit is like and now you’re calling it quits? You’re abandoning me!”
Bucky realized that he had tears streaming down his face and sucked in a breath. “Shit,” he hissed.
“Bucky… I’m so sorry,” Steve said. He leaned down and wrapped his arms around Bucky’s body. Bucky burrowed his face in Steve’s chest and sobbed.
“I’m still mad at you,” Bucky said between sobs.
“I know,” Steve said. “You have every right to be. I regretted it the moment I hung up, but when I woke up, I couldn’t get ahold of you.”
“Why? Why did you do it?” Bucky asked.
“I was scared, baby,” Steve murmured. “I thought that the only thing I could do to keep you safe was break up because I couldn’t think of the fact that you could’ve died because I love you.”
Bucky closed his eyes and fisted a hand in Steve’s sweaty shirt. He sniffed and breathed in the scent of Steve’s musk. Even now, he found that he loved the smell and sight of Steve all sweaty.
“Damn fine way of showing it,” Bucky muttered. Steve shifted down until his face was hovering over Bucky’s. He kissed him tenderly. Bucky growled, though, and kissed him back with more fire and force. He flipped them over and Steve gasped as Bucky stared down at him. Bucky smirked triumphantly. “Huh, so that’s what it feels like.”
“You like the view?” Steve asked. Bucky chuckled and placed his hands on Steve’s shirt.
“It could be improved,” he said. He pulled and the shirt ripped to shreds with no more effort than if it were paper. Bucky looked down at Steve’s chest in satisfaction and not a small amount of pride. He kissed Steve hard, thrusting his tongue into Steve’s mouth and biting his lower lip hard enough to make it bleed. Steve groaned beneath him but Bucky kept him pinned to the floor.
“You’re mine,” Bucky growled. “And I’m yours. ‘Til the end of the line, ya fucking punk.”
Steve nodded. “‘Til the end of the line,” he agreed.
Bucky kissed him again before he rolled Steve onto his stomach. He rubbed his aching cock over the cleft of Steve’s ass. He was fucking huge, now. It was like one of those online fake porn ads that promised miracle pills to make your dick get bigger, except it was Steve’s blood that did it. His jeans were uncomfortably tight around his member and Bucky quickly shucked them to the floor and tossed them aside. As soon as they were off, he reached down and ripped Steve’s khakis off along the seam.
“Jesus, Buck, I gotta walk around when this is over,” Steve groaned.
“Shut up,” Bucky said. “You broke up with me. A few ripped clothes is the least you deserve.”
He grabbed a packet of lube from Steve’s inside pocket (because the man always had a plan, even after he dumped his boyfriend, apparently) and slicked up two of his fingers. He pressed one to Steve’s hole and pushed in. Steve hissed at the intrusion, but didn’t say anything. Bucky kept pressing in until the digit was fully seated inside him.
Bucky fucked him with that finger until Steve felt loose enough for another and pushed it in alongside the first. Steve moaned and pressed his face into the floor beneath him as he pushed back on Bucky’s hand.
“Buck,” Steve said.
“Yeah?”
“A little down and to the left,” Steve said. Bucky bent his fingers as requested and Steve moaned loudly as he rubbed over Steve’s prostate. Bucky added a third finger and stretched him with impatience. He wanted to fuck Steve and this was honestly taking a while.
“Buck, I’m ready, fuck me,” Steve moaned. Bucky didn’t argue. He tore open another lube packet and coated his now considerably large cock with lube. He had been somewhat surprised to find that in addition to becoming stronger, his foreskin had grown back. And it felt. AMAZING. The head of his dick was so much more sensitive. He pressed the head to Steve’s hole and moaned just at the feeling. He pushed in.
“Oh God, oh fuck,” Bucky groaned. “Fuck, this is amazing.”
Steve chuckled beneath him. “Go slow,” he moaned. “Gotta give me time to adjust, baby.”
“Shut up, I’m trying to enjoy this,” Bucky replied.
“Enjoying your first time topping, baby?” Steve asked.
“The foreskin helps,” Bucky said. He inched further inside Steve and groaned as Steve’s hot, tight hole squeezed around him. “Seriously, first I eat bacon, now I have a foreskin. I might as well be a Gentile now.”
Steve laughed at that. “I’m a corrupting influence, it seems,” he said.
“You have to convert, now,” Bucky said. “Gotta make up for leading me astray.”
“Okay, Buck,” Steve chuckled.
When Bucky finally bottomed out, it felt amazing. Steve’s ass clenched around his whole length. It was the second most amazing thing Bucky had ever felt, the first being Steve’s cock in him. He’d always be a slut for Steve’s cock. This was a very, very close second, though.
He began to roll his hips against Steve’s slowly. He moaned at the feeling, at Steve’s walls wrapped tight around him. Steve groaned and pushed back against Bucky, matching his shallow thrusts. Bucky reached down and gripped Steve’s hips as he began to pull out more. He thrust hard into Steve’s heat and Steve whined.
“God, you feel so fuckin’ good,” Bucky growled. He pushed Steve’s chest down and started fucking him into the floor. Steve moaned and writhed beneath him. “You like that? You like havin’ a man who can keep up with ya? Who can go all day with you and not feel tired?”
Steve moaned and nodded beneath him. Bucky quickened his pace. There was no finesse or grace in it. He was angry and hurt and Steve was the one who did it. He threw his head back and groaned as he began to slam into Steve’s ass. Steve whimpered and moaned beneath him and Bucky grinned with savage satisfaction.
“You should’ve known better,” Bucky growled. “Should’ve warned me. Should’ve helped me, ya punk.”
Steve groaned and nodded. “Harder, harder, Buck,” he moaned. “Give me all you got.”
Bucky groaned and fucked faster. His body moved like lightning streaking across the sky, faster and more powerful than it had ever been in his life. His hands were like iron around Steve’s hips, nails digging into his skin and drawing bits of blood. Still, Bucky went faster, harder. He wanted Steve to hurt, to feel everything he’d done to Bucky. Steve just groaned beneath him and took everything Bucky gave him.
“Fuck, Bucky, I’m gonna come,” Steve moaned. “Gonna come, keep going!”
Bucky did. He slammed into Steve’s prostate with every thrust and without mercy. A moment later, Steve’s ass was squeezing around him like a vice and Steve shouted as he came. Bucky felt his body writhe beneath him, shaking as he came onto the floor beneath them. A second later, he slammed his cock into Steve’s ass as deep as it would go and he came too, his come bursting from him. He came more than he ever had in his life. Every drop of it shot into Steve’s waiting ass.
When he was spent, he slumped with exhaustion. His cock slipped from Steve’s ass and he collapsed on the floor breathing like he’d just run 20 miles. He breathed deep, the sweetness of the air filling his burning lungs. Steve got up and laid down next to him.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “You were right, I abandoned you. I’m sorry for being afraid.”
Bucky nodded and held back more tears. “Just… promise me that if you ever want to break up with me in the future, you’ll do it person.”
“I didn’t want to break up with you,” Steve murmured. “Before yesterday, I…I thought that we would be together forever, actually. I never want anybody else, baby.”
“If you ask me to marry you naked on a gym floor, I swear to God I will walk the fuck out of here,” Bucky said. Steve laughed softly.
“Don’t worry,” he said.
“Good, cause I got standards. I want a real nice proposal, all romantic and shit,” Bucky said.
“Just so we’re clear,” Steve said. “You’re okay with me proposing at some later, undisclosed date.”
Bucky smiled against Steve’s chest. “Yeah, I’m really okay with that,” he said. “I love you.”
“I love you, too, baby,” Steve murmured. “You mind if we get up and put some clothes on?”
Bucky smiled mischievously. “Yes to the first,” he replied. “But no to the second. I really wanna see how long I can go, now.”
Steve’s eyes darkened and he kissed Bucky with heat and passion. Bucky moaned and yielded to him like putty in his hands. Steve knew exactly how to get him going.
“You got it,” Steve said.
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polygamyff · 5 years
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18. Part 3
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I stayed at my mom’ house, after Maurice left I was not in the mood for much. My dad is now angry with Maurice because I cried, I cried because I didn’t want him to leave, I didn’t want him to go like that and he did. All I want is him to be around more, I don’t get enough of him but I guess I am the bad persons for this. He says I’m like the rest that stress him out but of course I am, I’m pregnant and I just want him massage my back and just be there. Scratching the back of my head, I slept like a baby in my old bed. I miss it, it’s so comfy my old bed. Dragging open my bedroom door, the smell of pancakes is a blessing. My mom’ cooking is a blessing, I love it so much “morning mommy” I said with the biggest smile on my face “you’re awake, god. I have missed this so much. I was going to bring it to your bed” sitting down on the bar stool “it’s ok, I smelt the food and shot up awake. Where is dad? He’s not here is he?” I don’t feel like seeing his face right now, he just annoys me “at work, I didn’t tell you though. I have been thinking about my grandchild and I said to your dad that she will need our help, your job is demanding. So is Maurice, so I am actually part time now” staring at my mom in shock “honestly?” I said in shock “yes, I feel like it’s only right. I just want to be there for you. With you coming up to be a surgeon, a new mom. You need the help” smiling lightly at my mom “that means so much to me, I need to prepare better for the baby I only have a baby crib and that’s it” that is awful “I will help, gather some things for you. You need to start actually” she ain’t wrong, the baby will be here in no time.
I know my mom wants to speak about what happened last night, she didn’t ask but just hugged me when I cried “when are you back at work? You didn’t need to take time off for me” side eyeing my mom “I would never miss your birthday so stop it, I just need time off too. They got me working in A and E, me. I was like fine whatever, I feel like they are testing me but it’s straining me but next week I should be back to normal” my mom looks so disgusted “no, you don’t do something like that. Robyn that is dreadful you tell them no, you are pregnant. You already got ill last time, and now this? Seriously, put your foot down. I don’t like that” she acting like I do like it “mom, I want to get to my goal. I’m just doing whatever right now” my mom shook her head “you don’t do that, don’t bow down to them but anyways. What happened to you and Maurice? So much has happened also I read he punched his cousin?” My mom has been dying to say this “it was because of me, what happened is Tiffany got upset that I was pregnant. That I am having the new heir, I don’t care for it but she tried to attack me mom. Maurice saw and he pushed her, he was so angry that he beat Kellen up because he’s been saying things about him and his family to me. So the reason that happened is because of me, he was protecting me” my mom gasped “Tiffany!? No, what? Oh my god, why is she jealous? Of what? And why?” Too many questions from my mom right now “because she is jealous mom, she wants what I got. She was only happy when she was doing better than me, she sees I am and hates that. She hates I’m having Maurice’ baby and tries to harm me. I have no real friends, just Leon” my mom placed her hand over mine “oh baby, that is terrible. Please stay away from her, I am in shock she tried harm my grandbaby, I had no idea. I mean we saw he did that but not the reason for it, oh baby. That is a horrible feeling but god has done that to expose the fakes, you had a man there to protect you. He bought me some fancy necklace and earrings, that is so sweet of him, I had to put the flowers in water. Please from me tell him thank you” pulling a face “I don’t think I am speaking to him” why would I text him when I’m not.
“But it’s nice he got you that” looking down at my plate, my mom is staring at me so hard “yes mother?” I had to ask, she is doing too much staring “can you please let me know why you both was crying yesterday on my birthday, why are you not speaking to him? What is happening? It’s been a while, I’m hoping that you are ok with him and things, what is happening?” Where do I start “just things mom, I don’t think we have the time” moving from the bar stool, picking my plate up and making my way to the sink “but we do, I work part time. Today I start at one so we are going to talk? There is a lot of tension, you can’t go around crying like that, arguing the way you both do. Your father is saying I told you so and saying words I didn’t want to hear, is it him? Is it you? He seems to love a lot, for him to have a fight at his party, for you and now his name is being tarnished. That is a lot so please tell me so I can help you. Is it the baby?” Walking by my mom “it’s a lot of things, I just need accept it won’t happen. It’s me, but is fine mom. I’m going to sit back, let him do what he wants. I have to get a new obygn now, Deja been talking too much but I set that one up myself. Not him” sitting down on the couch in a huff.
My mom is making a point and is even sat with me, the point I don’t want to hear. She is going to get it out of me, I don’t want to hear it “so is that what you want? Deep down” I rolled my eyes “no it’s not mom, you know what I want? I want to be with him, I want to hold him close. I want him psychically with me but we don’t get what we want do we? Now I’m made out to be the bad person, I’m not. I’m just annoyed” my mom just listened to my outburst, she didn’t say much “it’s hard Robyn, he’s not just an average guy. He owns hotels, that means a busy man. If you don’t accept that then you risk losing what you both have” that hurt to hear “he can’t come to the scan, he’s busy. He went to Atlanta and didn’t tell me anything about it, he went while I was busy which is rude. He said he didn’t tell me because I complain, of course I am mom! He’s not around, he’s just there but not always. I don’t know what to do” I guess that is what my mom wanted to hear “so what about when you are busy?” My mom asked “so you are busy too? Being a surgeon is not easy, has he not complained about that?” Shaking g my head “that’s because it gives him the chance to go away, why would he?” Which she knows I am right.
“Robyn baby, your dad was busy but he was there. We had you and I stayed at home the most. Did work, your grandma had you, you won’t remember this. Your dad would come home about seven pm to put your to sleep, the only time he got the chance was when I went back into work. We was building, he sacrificed his time with you to earn. I am going part time for you, my grandchild. As a woman we do have to make choices, you are being not nice Robyn. I feel it from you, you have anger in your heart” I shrugged, not knowing what to say “what’s bothering you the most?” My mom asked “the fact I am now pregnant, sitting here while he’s god knows where, I am stuck here with a baby. He’s married, he has women all around him that are beautiful mom, I saw it. Then there is me, I was being nosey on Shawn’ social media and that’s what I get. All I want is for him to just spend time with me, it’s like we meet when I’m asleep in bed. He’s poking my stomach, doing things to wake me up. I see his face, we have sex and then I’m asleep. What else, then I’m at work. I just feel a little lonely, call me what you want but it’s different with dad. Least he came home” my mom looked at me in sadness “but Robyn, don’t you think you are putting Maurice on a pedestal on what you got with your dad? That is wrong, listen to me here. You fell in love with him right?” nodding my head “you fell in love for his heart, you told me he needed someone like you to save him so how you think he feels now that you’re being like this. You can’t do that to him, no man should be judged the way you deem is right. That doesn’t work, what works is coming together, you are already failing at the first hurdle and you tell me his family don’t know you yet? How strained do you think it will be then? I agree, he needs to be there. He needs to at times, spend time with you but it’s called compromising, if I said to your dad I am working too so what about Robyn? Why do you come home so late, why do you do this. It’s not healthy for you, for the baby and him. You need to not take a step back, you need to be the woman I raised. I don’t like the nonsense I am hearing Robyn Willis” I knew she would be like this with me.
My mom and I just remained silent, she is not happy with me but what does she want me to say “I don’t want you stressed Robyn, I do not agree with that. You have to remain calm and healthy for that baby. What you need to do is, you may not like it. Robyn do you want to be with Maurice? Yes or no?” staring at my mom teary eyed “you know I do” she don’t need to ask twice “then you need to stop this, him not being at the scan is not the end all. There is facetime, you can work with him but you’re being stubborn. If you want this to work, if you want to show people that you want it then you need to stop making it about you, you told me that everyone stresses him and hate that people take advantage but baby what are you doing? He also needs to make time for you, you both need to talk” shaking my head as I sobbed out “he’s gone now, how can I” my mom hugged me “sometimes you need guidance and love, I am always here Robyn. It’s not the end all” my mom rubbed my back as I cried out, I let him go and now he’s not here.
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Dubai is crazy beautiful, it’s just amazing. The hotel structure is coming along “the constructor said that they may be a month behind” the translator said “excuse me?” I turned to him “he said that the building started late” is he playing “no, his team was late. I don’t care how he does it he needs to get it done, get more workers. We not playing and I am not paying for his team to slack so please, I am happy as it is now but I want more. Come on!” this can’t happen, it really can’t. Looking at Nalah “this is not my fault, I swear. They work when I am here” sighing out “he said they may need to get help, another team to call in” nodding my head “I ain’t paying for that, we had a deal. You are just taking the piss, get on with it” turning around, these workers are fucking lazy and I don’t like it “this is going to be a gym once it’s done, we can’t go any higher because it’s not safe. I believe in the team and I know they can do this” he has faith in them but I don’t “just know that I will be on their case, and Jamil. I want you to look after my sister while she is here. Not a single man to disrespect my sister” he touching my shoulder “I promise” I will kill anyone, no wonder my dad is like why you not in Dubai I bet he knew this shit is behind.
I swear I Want to be friends with all the Saudi prince’s, I will get right there on top “smile” Nalah said, looking up from my phone squinting “why you taking pictures of me?” annoying ass “because I can, I told you I like to show my following and also with popular demand. I took a video on the jet and the girls kept asking for my brother, not like you nice or anything” I had to laugh “Naomi called me today, she agreed to the contract I sent. She said that dad is wanting her to be with me here, she declined. We didn’t speak much, just that” my sister pulled a face “I do think you should just divorce her ass but I get it, dad is just being strict with you” nodding my head “you think dad will like Robyn?” I can’t put my finger on it “he will not be amused, a girl but my niece ain’t getting that treatment. He honestly may dislike her thinking she made you stray away. I would be ready for his backlash or he could just melt and be like that is my grandchild, he is bipolar Maurice so I am not sure” she ain’t wrong there he is bipolar.
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korra-the-red-lion · 3 years
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Unnatural Affairs. Chapter 14: Thanksgiving
(Ally + Lyn)
Ally.
You know that when you wake up with a pit of dread in your stomach, that today is just not going to be your day at all.
I stared up at the ceiling for a very long time before mom knocked on my door and told me that grandma would be here in just over an hour, so I needed to be showered and ready for her arrival. I loved my grandma very much, I really did, but if dad was bad about the whole ‘talks to dead people thing’ than she was worse.
There was a time when she was over and overheard (I swear she was listening in though) my parents talking about what they would do with me. She immediately sprayed me with water, I’m not kidding. She claimed it was holy water but I’m 99% she just used tap water instead. Nana, my grandma on mom’s side of the family, didn’t care all that much, but dad’s mother was horrible about it all. And don’t even get her started about when I stopped going to church. If I wasn’t going to burn in hell for speaking with the dead, I was going to because I stopped visiting the Lord every Sunday.
At least she didn’t care that I was gay.
With a sense of impending doom, I rolled out of the safety of my bed, grabbing some nice clothes from my closet to change into. I took a quick shower, enough to get off the morning stink. As I was putting my lotion on, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of worry for Lyn and Michael. Lyn because she didn’t call last night, plus she was clearly upset about something yesterday. Michael because that was the second time Amelia visited his dream and I was worried it was leading to something a lot more sinister.
I planned on asking her once we spoke, but I was curious to know if anything like that happened to Amelia before her death. I even thought about asking Jamieson as well, even though I still found him to be annoying. They were my biggest leads, regardless of if I wanted them to be or not. My worry was if they had unwanted spiritual visits… was Michael the next target?
That thought kept me up for a good chunk of the night. I didn’t want to add to his own worries, but I couldn’t shake that thought once it burrowed itself deep in my brain. Overthinking was my specialty after all.
It was probably wrong, but if there was even a slim chance of it being true, I needed to know. Just another thing to my ever-growing list with no answers. Hey, on the plus side, no one could ever say I procrastinated again. I just chose where my focus lies, that’s all. Nothing wrong with deciding a murder mystery that really has nothing to do with you is something I should spending all of my time on. Maybe there was a little tiny bit of guilt when I thought about all my schoolwork piling up, but my parents would be none the wiser as long as I pass all my classes.
Suppressing the urge to groan, pull my hair out, and cry all at once, I felt like I was ready to face my family for the day. I did quickly send a “Happy Thanksgiving!” in the group chat before heading down. I hope the others did have a nice day. I sent one to Mags and Sarah too. There, every friend I’ve made so far, and I could count them all on one hand. That was more than my friends in high school, in which I could count on one finger. To be honest, I was happier with a small group of friends.
I went down the stairs where Wallaby met me with his big doofy dog grin. I scratched behind his ears before going into the kitchen, where he followed with a wag of his tail. There was no way I wasn’t sneaking him into the car tomorrow. Mom and dad would never notice.
The counter was already covered in a variety of foods for tonight. Mom had a ham ready to go in the oven, since we all hated turkey. The pies were made, the ingredients for the salads were spewed across the counter. I glanced at the clock, noting that it was only 1:00. Okay, early supper. I snuck an apple off the counter before mom noticed so she didn’t get annoyed for me eating before a huge meal, but I hadn’t had breakfast yet, I was starving.
“I saw that,” mom said without taking her eyes off her apple slicing.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, mother,” I said innocently, batting my eyelashes.
“You’re lucky that you’re the only daughter I have. Open that for me, please.”
I did what she asked and helped out a bit even though there wasn’t a lot for me to do. I stiffened when I heard the door open and grandma’s voice drift down the hallway. Mom looked at me with concern before rubbing my back gently. “You\re going to be okay. I haven’t said a word about what happened to you in the bookstore except to your dad, and he knows better than to tell his mom.”
Wallaby rubbed his wet nose against my hand to also calm me down. I nodded, swallowing the lump that was rising in my throat. It was just one meal I had to get through, then I could go back to the safety of my bedroom. I can do this.
Grandma Holland walked into the kitchen, surveying it with a critical eye before settling her stare onto me. I awkwardly waved and smiled as she walked over to me, giving me a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
“Oh, Alexandra, you look so much older now,” she said affectionately, patting my cheek.
“It’s only been a few months, grandma,” I said embarrassed.
“Still, you just look more confident in yourself,” she remarked.
Did I? I didn’t feel more confident…but maybe because I actually was doing something that really mattered to me, it was changing how I was carrying myself? Too bad it was a secret that I could never share with them, because it would only break their hearts. It was like Buffy lying to Joyce about her Slayer powers for so long. It really put a strain on their relationship. It wasn’t often that media portrayed how it hurt so much to lie. It was like a gnawing guilt that ate away from the inside, leaving you feeling empty and hurt. I felt my guts twisting as I smiled at my grandma, catching my dad’s eye from the door. I was lying to all of them, only because I knew how it would end if they ever found out. The thought of that rejection hurt more than any guilt I was feeling.
Maybe once it was all over I could tell them, but for now it was my little secret. Mentally shaking my head, I left the room to quickly scarf my apple down before helping mom with the rest of supper. The longer I could avoid talking to grandma and dad together, the better.
The hours sped by like seconds. One minute the ham was going into the oven, next minute it was coming out as we all gathered around the table for supper. Unfortunately, Wallaby was not allowed at the dining table during this meal, since grandma didn’t like when we had him nearby while she was eating. The look in his eyes when I locked him up in the basement was one of utter betrayal. I’m sorry fluffy baby, I hope you can forgive me.
The feeling of tension refused to leave my shoulders and jaw as we made our way through the meal. I don’t know why I was feeling so anxious. I know my grandma upset me sometimes, but she hadn’t really done anything to trigger me. I just really wanted to get through this supper in one piece, that’s all.
Then came Thanks.
We always did it after supper but before dessert. I don’t why, we just did it that way. Dad went first, like always. He cleared his throat before taking a sip of water, only to clear his throat again.
“I’m thankful for my wonderful wife, Ellen, who has put up with me for years,” he started off, giving mom a look of utter adoration. “I’m not sure where I would be without her. I’m also thankful of my daughter, who started her first year away from home to go to school. I’m extremely proud of you, baby girl. I know how hard it was for you, and I miss you more each day you’re gone,” he said, smiling at me with tears in his eyes. I felt myself tearing up too.
Mom reached over to take his hand, kissing his knuckles lovingly. “I’m thankful for you too, Patrick. My life has been full of love and laughter ever since I met you. And I’m thankful for my wonderful daughter, Alexandra,” she reached over with her other hand, taking mine in hers, “who has gone through a lot of scary things in her life but is always to take the first step forward. You made me a better person by being born, and you challenge me to be better each day. I love you.”
God, Thanksgiving always made me so teary eyed. My parents were such saps. I wiped at my eyes with the back of my hand, taking a moment to gather my thoughts. “I…I’m thankful for my family and their good health. I know we always don’t see eye to eye, but I can’t imagine any other family for me. I’m thankful that I was given the chance to go to such a nice university and met all kinds of awesome and lovely people. I’m thankful for everything that I have,” I finished lamely, trying hard to keep my voice steady. My face was flushed from nerves, my hands trembling. Mom squeezed my hand tightly with comfort, smiling at me.
“Goodness, you people are so emotional,” grandma said with a chuckle. “I’m thankful that you’re all well. I’m thankful that I’m in a happy place and that my son found the love of his life. And I’ll be thankful once my granddaughter gives me great grandchildren.”
“Grandma!” I laughed. “Sorry to disappoint, but I don’t think that will be happening anytime soon.”
“Adoption is a thing, my dear,” she replied airily.
Okay, phew. The worst of supper was over with. Dad got up and brought over the dessert. My mouth watered at the sight of the apple pie, the strawberry rhubarb pie, and the banana cream pie. I took a piece of each. I’m sure I was going to live to regret that later, but that was an issue for Ally of tonight, not the Ally of now. The Ally of now just really wanted pie.
The rest of the evening was spend talking about random things. Of course, I got a ton of questions about school and the people I met. I was really proud of myself for not blushing (too much) when I talked about Lyn. Practicing my poker face was really paying off. Everything was going really well until my grandma asked me if I was participating in any extracurriculars.
I stopped then, before shaking my head quickly. She raised her brow at me, looking over her glasses. “Now, don’t lie. You must be up to something.”
“Uh…not really. I-I just mostly go to class or study in my room, or watch movies with my roommate,” I said uncertainly.
“Well,” she hummed, “as long as you’re staying out of trouble, then.”
I tensed but chose to keep my mouth shut. Dad stepped in by saying, “She is, mom. You know that she doesn’t like to have that kind of attention.”
I could feel my heartbeat in my ears. I forced myself not to bite my lip as I focused on my breathing. I know dad didn’t really mean anything by that comment, but I knew exactly what he was talking about with ‘that kind of attention.’
“That’s good to hear,” said grandma. “I wouldn’t want her getting into all that supernatural nonsense that she was getting into when she was younger. It’s unnatural and unbecoming, if you ask me.”
“Mom, c-can I be e-excused?” I asked shakily, trying very hard to keep my tone steady. Mom looked at me with concern before nodding. I bolted out of the room, racing upstairs as fast as my shaking legs would let me. I managed to make it to my room before the tears fell. I know I should be used to it by now, but somehow it always hurt when they said it. Maybe I was overreacting, but right now I just needed to stay away from that. It was too much for me. I hated being blamed for something I literally couldn’t control.
I was finally feeling good about it, too. I was helping people. I was going to help those people move on and stop whoever who was killing people from doing it again. I only ever used it for good reasons, so why was I always the bad guy? It was just so painful to be see as a monster in the eyes of people who are supposed to love and care for you.
XXX
Lyn.
I smoothed out the wrinkles of my skirt. I stared into my mirror, my own miserable face staring back at me. I hated dressing up like this if I could avoid it. I was way more comfortable in a pair of sweats or jeans. A skirt and blouse just weren’t me. But mum requested that I looked nice for supper, so here I was. Even my braid felt tighter than usual, and I usually wore that thing pretty fucking tight. I checked my make-up on more time, making sure there wasn’t a single smudge on my face before stepping away, satisfied that it would please her.
I just needed to make it through this horrible night, then Olivia would take me back tomorrow first thing. I was doing this for her, so I was going to try my best so we could mend that bridge. I didn’t want to end up like those poor ghosts, feeling lost and alone because they had no one left.
With a heaving sigh, I plastered on my fake smile and left my room. I made sure there was no way mum or dad could say anything negative about my appearance today, so that just left every other little thing to nitpick instead. Yay.
My stomach was turning over in nervous energy as I descended the staircase. I felt awful about everything that went down between me and Leigh yesterday, and I hid from her all day. I snuck out of the house to talk with Stanford, then hid in my room for the rest of the day. I had to leave our chat early because my mum came knocking and wanted to know why I missed supper. Although I hated seeing that cold look of disdain, it was still better than seeing Leigh.
I also didn’t call Ally last night. I did it the first time because I really wanted to make sure she was okay, but then I kept doing it. At first, I thought it was because I was worried about her, then I realized at some point it was for my benefit. Listening to her talk about random things calmed me down, helping me sleep a little better. I was still having nightmares about a lot of things, but they were getting better. Ally had been handling this kind of junk since she was a little kid, so I felt like I needed to stop letting it hold me back. I don’t know if it’s because growing up I wasn’t supposed to show a lot of weakness or whatever, but not being able to control the situation at hand was making everything worse. I needed a way to keep this all under control without resorting to medication, and Ally was my fix.
Was it unhealthy? Was I so focused on what made me feel better that it was never about how she felt? It just made me feel even more disgusting. Was I really just like my mum? Using people to move myself forward in the world? The thought of that alone made my skin crawl. I tried so hard not to be like her.
I was so lost in my depressing thoughts that I never even heard Olivia until I nearly walked into her. She put her hands out to stop me from completely bowling her over.
“What’s bothering you, Lyn?” she asked, her face scrunched up in concern.
“Nothing,” I said automatically.
She sighed as she gently pulled me away from the dining room where I was heading. She led to me the coat room, closing the door behind her. Olivia clasped her hands in front of her face, pointing them at me.
“Lyn,” she started with a calm tone, “I need you to be straight with me here.”
“That’s physically impossible.”
“Don’t get smart with me.”
I shrugged, looking away. “We need to head to the dining room, mum and dad are probably waiting.”
“They can wait a bit longer,” said Olivia. “I can see that look in your eyes. Something is eating at you. What’s going on?”
“Noth-” I stopped when Olivia glared fiercely at me.
“Cut the crap, Lyn. You may be a lot of things, but a good liar isn’t one of them.”
I sighed, resisting the urge to run my hands through my hair. “I just- I got into a fight with Leigh yesterday. It was totally my fault and I don’t really want to see her right now.”
“I doubt that,” said Olivia with tone of disbelief. “I’m going to assume that you and Leigh got into a fight because you’re both stubborn asses.”
“You’re one to talk,” I muttered under my breath.
“Sorry? Olivia laced her voice with fake sweetness. “I am one to talk, actually. We’re all stubborn as oxen. Plus, I’ve been in my fair share of arguments between you and her. Seriously, we put the ‘dys’ in dysfunctional, with all the spiteful words we say to each other. What was the fight even about?”
Good thing I spoke Olivia, because most people would be utterly confused by that whole ‘dysfunctional’ bit. I understood that she was saying ‘dys’ as ‘diss’, but it still took my brain a few seconds to comprehend what she just said. When it finally clicked together, I noticed that she was staring at me expectantly. She asked me a question, didn’t she? I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing wanted to come out, so I settled for a shrug.
Her eyes narrowed. “Lyn, I really fucking hate when you do that, you know that? Based on the fact that you don’t feel like telling me suggests that she saw those hideous cuts on your arm.”
I nodded slowly in conformation. “She wanted to know where they came from. I told her it was a bear.”
Olivia shook her head. “Rookie mistake. You know she’s seen her fair share of bear attacks…which is very strange to actually say out loud, I admit. Anywaaaay,” she patted my arm lightly, “I don’t know what went down between you two, but it will be okay. I mean, look at us. Once we both put in a little effort not to be assholes to each other, we get along pretty well.”
“But I’ve never really gotten along with Leigh like I have with you,” I said sullenly. “She’s always been so perfect…and I’m just a hotheaded mess.”
“Okay,” Olivia clicked her tongue, “stop the pity party, please. Come on, let’s get this supper over with.” She went for the door, only to pause there for a minute.
“Uh, you okay?” I asked in confusion.
Olivia looked over her shoulder and smiled softly at me. “I just wanted to say thank you. I know that it wasn’t easy for you to come back here after what happened last year…it means a lot to me that you’re here because of me.”
I looked at her for several minutes of heavy silence, so much that she started fidgeting. I finally walked into her space and engulfed her in a big hug. Olivia relaxed, probably unaware of how tense she had been, hugging me back.
“I hate it here,” I said quietly, almost as if I was talking to myself. “I hate the person I become when I’m here. I hate the person I was because of this place. But I’m here because of you. I wanted to try and fix our relationship, because I learned a while ago how important it was to have people who care for you in your life.” I pulled away, looking into my sister’s eyes. “Maybe you don’t care as much as I do about how we were abused, but I’m not going to let them destroy this for us.”
Olivia didn’t say anything, but I could see the emotion in her eyes. Finally, she gave the slightest of nods as she patted my face affectionately. “Thank you, Lyn… Jesus, let’s go get some supper before I start bawling, idiot.” She turned away with a sniff, leaving the coat room. I took a deep breath and followed after her.
It wasn’t much but having that little bit of acknowledgement felt good. It was so horrible feeling like you were the only one who hated how we were treated growing up. Like I said to Ally, Olivia was quicker to forgive them than I was, but that was just her personality. She never took much to heart. She was a businesswoman like mum was in that way. She was able to compartmentalize her emotions into little boxes, so she could keep her focus and edge. I wasn’t like that. I was driven by my emotions. I’m not able to keep things lock inside forever. Eventually they would come bursting out like a dam being released, and anyone in my way would be swept in the rush. That’s why I finally lost my shit at Frankie at the Halloween Bash last year and decked him across the face. I hollered at Loryn and Jackie, until I finally told Loryn what happened here. After that I tried my best to never let me get to that point again, yet here I was doing the same thing again. I told myself I would be okay, that I would be able to handle it better. So far, I got into a fight with my sister and hid away in my room for a whole day. Overall, my coping has been dreadful thus far.
We walked into the dining room together, where they were all waiting for us. My eye caught Leigh’s, and we both turned away in shame. Or at least I did, maybe she didn’t. I took my seat at the table, making sure my hideous fake smile was in place. I could feel mum’s hawkish stare on me, but I couldn’t bring myself to look at her right now.
The cook brought in the food, setting it all on the table. We all waited patiently as they brought in the turkey, mashed potatoes, greens and all the other foods. It all seemed so wasteful to me. I put all the food I could muster onto my plate and waited until mum gave the a-okay to eat. Finally, she gave the table a curt nod and we dug in.
I was hoping to get through this meal without saying a word, but I wasn’t so lucky. About halfway through mum put down her glass of wine and looked over at me again with that same intense stare. I slowly put down my fork, turning my attention to her.
Her lip quirked upwards in something resembling a smile. “Lyndsey, I couldn’t help but overhear you on the phone or something the other night when you missed supper. Were those your friends from the team?”
A flurry of lies filtered through my head, but I knew that this was a test from her. I spent the whole summer here either at my summer job or talking to Loryn, Jackie, or Kerry on the phone. Slowly I shook my head.
“I didn’t think so,” she said casually, picking up her knife. She cut through her turkey meat before looking my way again. “Who were they?”
My heart stuttered in my chest, but I forced my voice to stay even. “Some new friends, not on the team.”
“Actually mum, did I tell you about this new project I was working on?” Olivia cut into the conversation. I sent her a grateful look, but mum held up her hand, her eyes still on me.
“Olivia, please don’t interrupt your sister. I’ll hear about this project in a minute. I want to hear about these new friends.” Her tone brokered no argument. Olivia slunked down her in seat, her eyes saying sorry, I tried.
“They’re nobody, mum,” I said, my voice clipped.
“Watch your tone,” dad said curtly.
“Sorry,” I ducked my head. I picked at my food, hoping to the fucking lord above that this was nearly over. I just wanted to go back to my room and throw on some music, to help me forget this whole conversation. “They’re just some friends, that’s all.”
Mum put down her knife as she chewed her food thoughtfully, though her eyes were coldly calculating. They flickered between me, Olivia, and Leigh a couple of times before settling on Leigh. For a minute, Leigh acted as if she took no notice to the sudden attention, but the façade was over quickly as her brows drew together in concern. She looked up from her meal and looked politely startled.
“Yes, mum?”
Resting her chin in her palm, mum tapped one finger against her cheek in thought. “Leigh, what was it that had you so upset yesterday? You weren’t yourself at supper.”
Both Leigh and I stiffened. Her eyes found mine for a brief second before they shot back to mum’s. “Um-” she cleared her throat awkwardly. “It was nothing, really. It’s already been settled.”
“Has it?” her eyebrows shot up in question. “How interesting, seeing as how you haven’t spoken to Lyndsey since then.”
My stomach was churning, and it felt like I ate lead. I pushed away from the table to excuse myself, until dad said sternly, “Stay in that seat, Lyndsey.”
“No thank you,” I took in a shuddering breath. “I’m not feeling well.”
“It wasn’t an option, dear,” mum turned to look at me, indicating that I should sit back down. I did as she instructed, trying very hard to keep my nerves under control. I ended up cracking my fingers under the table, to help with my anxiety. Mum leaned back in her chair, crossing her legs as she rested her elbow on the seat of the chair, chin balanced delicately on her fingers. The whole atmosphere was tense and anxious. Olivia shifted in her seat, trying very hard to look indifferent. Leigh was stock still, her face not giving anything away. I looked down at my socks, trying hard to keep my face impassive as well. A passed down trait to all the Hart women, I suppose. We knew when our poker faces were necessary, and this was one of those times.
“Ward, leave me with the girls for a minute,” mum said coolly, her voice business-like. Dad didn’t attempt to argue as he quietly removed himself from the dining room.
Sweat beaded at the back of my neck, but I still refused to look up. There was no way in hell I could look over at my mother right now. Why did it feel like we were all in trouble? The tone, the posture, the feeling in the air. Mother was imposing her power on us and it was working.
Then she laughed. Genuinely laughed. I looked up in surprise, and I could see matching looks on Olivia’s and Leigh’s faces. She smiled at us, her eyes twinkling with mischief. “You girls should see the looks on your face! This isn’t an interrogation. I was just asking some simple questions. Really, you’re all acting a tad bit ridiculous if you ask me.”
Leigh laughed too, but it sounded weak and forced. “Of course, we know that! You were just testing us.” Olivia and I said nothing, clearly both at a lost for words.
Mum shook her head. “Thanksgiving is a time for families to be grateful for what they have. You three should all be thankful that you were born into such a strong family. You will all prosper, live successful lives and continue on the tradition of the family. Stop looking like deer in headlights now.”
If I hadn’t already been nauseous before, I would have been now. Mum had been toying with us? I could feel my hands trembling underneath the table but I refused to let her know that. Something must have been showing on my face because her eyes narrowed ever so slightly in my direction.
“What is bothering you now, Lyndsey?” Her tone was mildly exasperated.
I worked my jaw back and forth for a few seconds, fingers curled tightly against the edge of my seat. I swallowed heavily, forcing myself to look up at her. “That’s wrong.”
“What was that?” The way she asked almost sounded bored. My temper flared and I slammed both my hands on the table, causing my sisters to jump in their seats. Mum just watched impassively.
“That’s fucking sick!” I stood up, towering over her. “Why do you think this is funny? Can’t you see how tense we all were? Stop acting like a bitch for five fucking minutes in your pathetic life and be a decent human being you fucking psycho!”
Mum regarded me silently for a minute before her gaze grew cold. “Are you finished?”
My heart was ramming against my ribcage, my whole body shaking. “Finished with what?” I asked with dread, my voice tight with anger.
“Acting like child,” mum stood up as well. She was no where near my height, but she gave off this imposing aura that made me feel small. She always made me feel small. I tried my damndest to maintain my sense of anger, but I slowly yet surely felt my nerve decrease as mum continue to glare at me coolly.
“I’m not acting like a child,” I said, my voice catching in my throat from emotion.
“Yes, you are,” stated mum frankly, placing her hands on her hips. “You’re raising your voice at me for no reason and slamming things around. If you have something to say to me, say with the level of maturity I expect from someone your age.”
I opened my mouth to say something snarky, but ended up closing it tightly, dropping my head in shame. My entire face was burning with intense feeling. I just wanted to go back to my room, lock the door, and hide under the covers for the rest of the evening. I was just about to apologize for yelling when Olivia spoke up.
“L-Lyn is right,” she said shakily. When mum raised an eyebrow in her direction, she quickly explained, “I don’t mean about the whole psycho bitch thing, but it wasn’t very nice of you to taunt us like that. We are trying to enjoy supper, aren’t we? Whatever happened between Leigh and Lyn is not our business.”
Mum regarded Olivia for a silent moment before clicking her tongue. “Perhaps. However, Lyndsey’s behaviour tonight wasn’t acceptable. Whatever outburst she had today and yesterday is just an indication that she needs to control her emotions better.” She turned her steely gaze towards me. “Isn’t that right, Lyndsey?”
Our eyes locked together, and I nodded weakly. Mum gave me a satisfied smile before looking towards Olivia. “See? We came to an agreement.” Olivia looked as if she wanted to say something more but wisely chose to keep her mouth shut. Mum looked to me again. “Apologize to you sisters for that atrocious outburst.”
“Sorry,” I said stiffly, barely able to keep my tone even.
“You don’t need to apologize,” said Olivia quietly. I just shook my head, wishing this whole thing would just end now.
Leigh fidgeted with the hem of the tablecloth. “Yesterday…we were both at fault, Lyndsey. Let bygones be bygones, yes?” Her tone suggested civil agreement, but her body language was screaming a different story.
I nodded again. Mum waved her hands, dismissing us entirely. I bolted from the room, taking the steps two at a time. I closed my door, locking it behind me. I tore these clothes off, pulling on my pajamas. I sat on the edge of my bed, breathing heavily. My eyes were throbbing, head pounding. My stomach was churning, I felt sick. My body was weak, my mind was racing. I needed to get out of here as fast as possible. I needed to get away from this toxic environment. What was I going to do when summer came around again? Fuck, winter break too. I pressed my hands into eyes, biting down on my tongue to stop myself from shouting out loud.
It didn’t escape my notice that Olivia for the first time spoke up, in defense of me. Too bad it didn’t do much. After a few minutes of forcing myself to get into a state of calm, I reached for my phone that was plugged into the wall. I needed to talk to Loryn. But just before I hit the call button, a wave of guilt washes over me. I shouldn’t bother her during Thanksgiving. She was probably eating supper with her family, enjoying the time with her sisters and parents. Slowly, I drop it from my hand and fell back into the bed.
There was no one I could talk to right now. I would feel terrible if I called and ruined their holiday. Instead, I decided that I would be miserable alone. It was better this way. I wouldn’t want to ruin the Hart name, now would I?
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sweetpxsin · 6 years
Text
Build a Boyfriend [Prologue]
Title:Build a Boyfriend Member: Ong Seongwoo
Word count:1,5k
Warning:None
Summary:What happens when what seems to be a harmless websites gives you an  unexpected boyfriend. Will it be everlasting love or a recipe for disaster? (I’m bad at descriptions lolz)
~Prologue~
Preview:
You licked your lips dryly as you carefully cut the tape on the box before pulling back the flaps of it. At this point your heart had dropped to your stomach as you revealed what was in it.
Third Person POV
The Day Before
You eyes scanned over the words as you slowly scrolled down your tumblr feed. Your fingers rested lightly on the touchpad with your chin in the palm of your hand as the story got progressively more interesting, taking over your whole attention.
“Boo!” Your body instantly tensed as you jumped out of fright at the sudden appearance of your roommate.
“Oh my god Liha!” You yelled shooting a glare at your best friend/roommate.
“Sorry I felt like you were about to burn lasers into your laptop.” A sigh left your lips as Liha shrugged, finding a spot to sit on the bed.
“What do you want Liha.”
“I can’t just walk into my bestie’s room?”
“Yes.” You replied bluntly going back to halfheartedly reading the story displayed on your screen. This time it was Liha’s turn to glare at you as she opened her own laptop.
“Wanna build a boyfriend with me.”
“No what the frick?” You shot Liha a look and she simply pouted.
“Come on it’s not like it’s real.” Liha protested, busying herself with looking at the website.
“What about Daniel?” You sheepishly replied knowing every well that the two were very into each other.
“We’re not dating yet.” Liha huffed impatiently, still working hard on building her perfect “boyfriend”. With a sigh you shifted your laptop away from you and crawled towards the edge that Liha was sitting at. You took one glance at her screen and almost had to stop yourself from laughing.
“Is that Kang Daniel, I see?”
“Shut up!” Liha replied flustered.
“Come on lele just admit your love for your prince Kang~” You continued to tease.
“What about your dry love life.” Liha deadpanned making your jaw almost drop.
“We don’t talk about that you snake.” She replied with an evil laugh before hitting finish on her laptop screen. “He’s perfect” Liha said to her laptop dreamily.
“He’s Kang Daniel.” In half annoyance Liha grabbed the closest pillow and hit your face with it before continuing to save her “boyfriend”.
“Yah!”
“You were asking for it. Come on it’s your turn.”
“I’m fine.” You said pushing yourself up into a sitting position.
“Come on it’s just for fun. It’s not like you’re going to actually get a boyfriend from this, or maybe you will~” Liha wiggled her eyebrows at you a devilish smile on her face.
“Haha keep dreaming.” You flicked Liha’s forehead causing  the older girl to scrunch up her face before pouting.
“I feel like a disappointed grandma wanting grandkids soon.”
“I mean not everyone’s got their own Kang Daniel to make those.”
“OH MY GOD I’M liEarLY SO dONE WiHT yUO.” A smile grazed your lip as your flustered friend left the room in a rush. However your smile slowly disappeared as you looked at the temptation before you.  Liha had left her laptop and knowing her, she probably wasn’t gonna come back for it in a while, afraid you’ll bombard her with Daniel.
You knew it was probably just some stupid site but you couldn’t help but think of the possibilities of it actually being true. Biting your lip hastily you pulled the laptop closer to you and began the process. It asked for your email and you passed it off as it just going to send you a photo of you “boyfriend” and that would be the end of it.
As you began to create your perfect boyfriend you couldn't help but joke around lightly with the characteristics he would hold. Okay so maybe you had more fun than you thought you would have while making a pretend boyfriend.
Once you pressed finished you exited out of the  screen and closed the laptop, pushing it towards the edge of the bed waiting for it’s own owner. But still you couldn’t brush off the feeling of something being slightly suspicious of the website…
-
-
You woke up the next day from the light that shined into your eyes. Grunting slightly you swung your legs off your bed, rubbing your eyes. You pushed off your bed and instantly walked to your bathroom to wash up before you headed to the kitchen  to make your breakfast. Once in the kitchen you noticed the rather colorful note on the fridge.
“I’m gonna be out for a while  try not to ruin anything or miss me too much~ Love Liha!!”
Shaking your head slightly you smiled at the note before taking it off the fridge and tossing it in the trash. You took your time to make your breakfast, having nothing actually to do that day.
In the midst of eating  you still couldn’t help but think about what you had done yesterday. You didn’t know whether to hate yourself for doing something so childish or hate the fact you still have slight suspicion about the website. And as if the world had heard about your concern a knock echoed through your quiet apartment.
You glanced at the time from your phone and slipped out of your chair. It was only 9 am and you doubted anyone of your friends would end up visiting, especially at this time but you got up anyways to open the door.
As you approached the door there was another sound of rapid knocks, causing you to pick up your speed. Once you reached the door you pulled it back slightly and noticed a rather tall box. Pulling the door fully open you looked down the hall and saw no one. In slight confusion you walked behind the box and was met with no one.
You were just left with a box and your own confusion. However you still pushed it  into the apartment and set it down gently to see who it was addressed to. Once you saw it you had originally thought it was addressed to Liha but once you saw your name, your curiosity only grew deeper.
Grabbing the box opener you quickly returned to the box. You licked your lips dryly as you carefully cut the tape on the box before pulling back the flaps of it. At this point your heart had dropped to your stomach as you revealed what was in it.
As the realization slowly hit you, air filled your lungs about to  scream as your eyes widened. However your scream was cut off but the postcard that laid over the male. Build a boyfriend
The dreaded feeling became heavier on your shoulders. Sighing in defeat you lamely shifted from your kneeling position to a sitting position. Taking another glance at the box you took the card and turned it around.
Instructions: how to bring your build a boyfriend to life
“This can’t be real.” You whispered to yourself before taking a look at the boy. He was indeed good looking, maybe even too good looking for him to be a wax figure.
Step One: hold your new boyfriend's hand and squeeze it lightly! He needs your warmth and comfort!
Regretfully you found the stranger's hand and held it, squeezing it lightly. His hand was much larger than your but somehow was a perfect fit.
Step Two: Call his name! Your boyfriend wants to hear his girlfriend adorable morning call! (Your boyfriend's name was randomly selected as Ong Seongwoo)
“These directions honestly couldn’t have gotten any cheesier” you whined quietly before swallowing your pride. “Seungwoo-ah wake up now sleepyhead.” You face twisted into embarrassment before you read the last direction on the card
Step three: last but not least kiss him! What boyfriend wouldn’t want to be awoken by his lovely girlfriends kiss!
“I take back what I said earlier..” You sighed as your face became warm at the thought of kissing a stranger. But nevertheless you propped yourself on your knees and bend over the boy hesitantly before tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. Closing your eyes you bent down lower expecting the worst when your lips finally met with his.
There was no response at all and your heart lighted up slightly at the thought of all of this being fake. Just then you felt his limp hand lightly squeeze yours and him returning the kiss. Out of fright you wanted to pull back but he wasted no time in finding the back of your neck helping you ease into the kiss. Once you pulled back, his hand that was on the back of your neck easily slipped down to cup your cheek and just like that silence hung over the both of you. You looked each other in the eyes, a cute little smirk decorating the latter’s face.
No way was this possible...and curse yourself for picking the flirtatious type
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