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nanasarea · 4 years

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Sucker I xx (finale)

Prompt: Y/N attends a school for the supernatural, specifically: werewolves, witches and vampires. The school might be magic, but so is love, right? Right?

Genre: angst, fluff

Pairing: reader x 00 line (renjun special)

Inspired heavily by: Legacies (and The Vampire Diaries&The Originals)

a/n: Renjun best boy, here we go

main m.list / sucker m.list / i ii iii iv v vi vii viii ix x xi xii xiii xiv xv xvi xvii xviii xix xx

xx (jeno)

xx (jaemin)

xx (haechan)

xx (renjun)

“Mr Hwang?” Hana asked.

“I prefer Richard.” He answered, smiling.

“I thought she was dead.” You said, looking at the girl on his right.

“She was but then I got her turned.” Mr. Hwang, or should you say Richard said. With that, the events started playing in your head again.

“Wait.” Renjun said.

“If you’re going to go and do what Richard says, go ahead. If you’re going to go and do what Haechan says, be my guest, but what do you think will happen to you? You’re part werewolf, do you think Richard will just let you go like that? And Haechan, he’s blinded by dark magic, he’s not genuine. I saw the way you looked at each other and despite your humanity being turned off and him being intoxicated by dark magic, I could tell there was something there. Sure, he’s hot, but you shouldn’t pick him because of that. You heard the prophesy, do you really want to be responsible for so many more deaths?” Renjun asked.

You weren’t responsible for anyone’s death, she died because she was sent to be killed by you. There was no reason to feel guilty, no reason for your humanity to be turned off but most importantly, no reason why the whole werewolves race had to die.

“Mr. Hw-Richard, there’s no reason to do thi-” “Yes, there is, child. You see, werewolves are useless, their existence is probably god’s way to spite us all d-” Richard cut Renjun off but before he could finish his sentence, you did the same to him.

“Weren’t werewolves around before vampires?” You asked “Y/N-” “Renjun’s right. If you want all werewolves gone, you’re gonna have to get rid of me too, so why should I help you?” You asked.

“There’s no reason to get rid of them, the only one here we need to get rid of is you.” You added.

“Aww, so sweet, but that won’t stop me.” Richard said, rolling his eyes. “I can end you all if I wanted to.” He added.

“What did you need me for then?” Haechan asked, raising his hand before Richard compelled him to stop.

“Oh please, who’s next?” He asked.

“Another vampire?” he asked, looking at Chenle.

“A werewolf?” He asked, looking at Jisung.

“Possibly a witch?” he asked, looking at Haechan.

“Why not try all three?” You asked, using your super speed to take the dagger from one of the shelves and stab him with it.

The dagger wasn’t to harm Richard, it was just to put him in a deep sleep, until you figured out what to do about him, knowing any offensive magic wouldn’t be the answer, especially not after the shocking events that happened in such a short time.

You knew you couldn’t actually kill him anyway, and it’s not like he was dead either, he could come back to life if you pulled the dagger out.

Once you successfully took him down, you stopped and looked around. “I’ll go to the werewolves.” Jisung said, Mark and Chenle soon following after him.

“Great, what about Haechan?” Jaemin asked “Let’s hope we can siphon the dark magic out of him, yeah? Anyone have anything they won’t miss?” Minsoo asked as the girl stepped forward, handing him her ring.

“Ah good choice.” Minsoo said, smiling at her before placing it in Haechan’s hand. “Who says I want my dark magic gone?” Haechan asked.

“Me.” Jeno said as he placed his hand on Haechan’s shoulder. “It’s for the best and you know it.” He added as Haechan sighed.

Later that day, you thanked Renjun for turning your humanity on.

“It’s been a long day. You should get some sleep, sorry for everything I did before you helped me turn my humanity on again, thanks for that, by the way.” you said.

“I turned your humanity on?” he asked, blushing “Yeah.” You said, shyly looking for his reaction, the words he told Olor a while ago, replaying in his head.

“I’m in love with a woman I can never have. The point, I’m in love with her and its driving me crazy. I’m not in control. I have to stay together to protect her and she wants me to be the better man. Which means I can’t be who I am, a control freak who is a confused mess.” He wasn’t in control, far from it, but when he heard you tell him about the humanity, he couldn’t seem to care. All he cared about was you, so he moved closer while asking.

“Does that mean I’m your soulmate?” He asked “Pretty much.” You chuckled.

“Never knew the cute awkward guy who gave me a tour on the first day would end up being the reason I end up preventing the extinction of the werewolf race.” You said, smiling from remembering your first day.

“Oh, god, I was so awkward that day, but can you blame me? It’s not every day you get to test the cutest girl you’ve ever seen for what her supernatural background is.” He laughed, throwing his head back from embarrassment.

“Oh fuck it, I can’t wait any longer.” You said, causing Renjun to give you a confused look before you moved closer, grabbing him by his shirt and bringing him close enough to kiss him.

And with that, the events of that day are still a blur, not only to you, but to the others. Later on, you found out the girl was actually being compelled by the ring she gave Minsoo.

The ring they destroyed, and with it, all traces of Haechan’s dark magic, besides the front entrance, it was still being rebuilt as we speak. You also found out that she was actually really nice and that her name was Hyejoo, but she went by Olivia.

You and Renjun? You end up being the school’s cutest couple. Sure, you use to date like almost all of his friends, but he didn’t care, you were his now and that’s all that mattered. Besides, it’s not like much changed. You acted like you did before, when you were the best of friends, now you just so happen to make out and call each other over the top cheesy nicknames in a sarcastic manner.

Life finally felt right, like you were completed. Seeing Jeno and Jaemin fight over the last cookie, Olivia, Jisung and Chenle betting on Haechan, Mark and Minsoo’s competition on who can chug their bubble tea the fastest, Hana in Jisoo’s arms and you in Renjun’s as you watched it all go down. Life finally made sense for once and you knew this is where you were suppose to be.

True love will triumph in the end and maybe, platonic love like Jeno’s love for Haechan, family love like Minsoo’s love for Jisoo, romantic love like your love for Renjun, maybe, just maybe, all types of love save the day at the end, because even if this school is magic, so is love, right?

a/n: Renjun’s ending! I like this ending the most so far, I think. I enjoyed writing this part the most so I hope you liked it! It’s not as different as Nomin’s but Haechan’s part is still on it’s way so let’s hope his ending will be different enough haha.

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ashisbaeee · 4 years

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Her Part 11

a/n: hello lovelies, my goodness, it has been forever since I’ve last been on here and more importantly since updated this series. thank you all so much for being so understanding and patient for my absence, I greatly appreciate it.

here is the long awaited part 11, I truly hope you all enjoy it and that it was worth the wait.💗as always, your feedback is greatly appreciated, I love hearing what you guys think of the chapter.

sorry for any errors

word count: 4.1k(eek!)

italics are Y/N’s thoughts

for those who are interested, I will have the previous parts here:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

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Shock, disbelief coursed through you, completely taking over your frame. What was once your cozy home became uncomfortable, wishing you were still out, albeit your feet were killing you, anywhere else than your quiet home and away from him. You could feel his eyes on you, but you dared not look. You had glued your eyes to the ground; wishing this was some terrible dream. You didn’t need this, not right now. If you were being frank, this was possibly the worst time as he will eventually take in your full appearance, your bump in full display. You never wanted to see his face now and certainly not ever. This wouldn’t be good for you, and ultimately, this wouldn’t be good for the baby. Stood right smack in the middle was the last person on earth you prayed you’d never see again. Shock and anger coursed through you. You could feel your heart racing, your breathing was becoming erratic. You noticed your quickened heartbeat; you could feel it pulsing in your carotid arteries, you were beginning to get a massive migraine and you were becoming a bit nauseous. The room started to spin, it was as if you were back in your first trimester of pregnancy again.

Quick, let me find a garbage can in the event I hurl my guts out.

You pushed that thought to the back of your mind as you took in the man that broke your heart invading your home. And how your sister let him in?! She must have been out of her damn mind. No good was to come out of this. But that was a discussion for a later time.

What is he doing here?! You exclaimed.

“Please Y/N, let me explain” your sister pleads.

“Then get to it” you spoke, your patience gone the moment you stepped foot into your home.

“I saw him while I was at the grocery store. Actually, he saw me and approached me.”

“That doesn’t explain as to how he got here. Meeting at the grocery store doesn’t lead into coming into my home” you interjected.

“I’m getting to that part, so please, just listen” she spoke, while he stood silent a few feet from the both of you.

“He came up to me and asked me how you were doing. Before I could even respond, he said he had seen you with me. He knew that we were both around the area as he had seen pictures of us”

“Pictures from where?!”you interrupted yet again, but you didn’t care.

“Uh, a fan had sent them to me” finally, the man had broken his silence.

Your head snapped so quickly you were surprised it didn’t crack or something possibly worse.

“What??!! A fan?! A fan! How on earth did they even get a picture? Explain”

“A fan had seen you a couple times, or at least that’s what she told me. She sent the pictures-- err- she sent me DMs of you both via Instagram, and this isn’t the first time she has DMed me. One day, as I quickly scrolled passed through my DMs, your name caught my eye. Without thinking, I clicked on the message and that was when I saw your pictures, it was a picture of you smiling. I thought it was a joke, some skilled photoshop or something. My curiosity got the best of me and I couldn’t bear the unknown and the ‘what ifs’ and I was driving myself lad so I think a couple of days later, I sent her a message asking where she saw you. Which brings us to where we are now”

“So she freely sent you the town I’m at?!”

“Well, uhm, yeah. Uh. Yes, she did. Please, calm down”

“I can’t calm down” your voice rising.

“I don’t get why you’re so angry”

Oh hell no. He did not just say that.

“Angry? Want to know why I’m so angry? It’s because what she did was an invasion of privacy?”

“You know, out of all the people in this room, I should be the one that’s angry. Angry that you left me without a trace. How you deliberately went to all extents to erase yourself from the world. You went completely ghost on me. You went to great lengths to make sure that I would never be able to find you ever again. Do you know how sick and worried I was? I didn’t know if you were okay and there was no way for me to find out. God forbid something happened to you. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. Knowing or not knowing if you were okay or not killed me. So yeah, I am angry, and understandably so” his voice matching yours.

“When did you feel that? When did all those emotions hit you? Huh? Please, enlighten me. Right after I did everything I could to ensure you would never find me again? Don’t act like you cared since the beginning. Clearly you did not care that day when you and the group realized a whole while later that you had left me at the Jimmy Kimmel studio. I get that you were so excited for the movie, trust me, I understand but it really seemed like the movie mattered more than me. Not to sound jealous or anything. But really, I felt like I was invisible and in my opinion, it seemed like a total waste of time and money flying out to you, and that day was a total wake up call; I got your message, loud and clear. A part of me thinks that maybe you’ve never really cared for me, uh, but only you know that answer. But it seems like you have a lot to say, so by all means, Tom, please, entertain me, since I clearly don’t have anything else better to do” the sarcasm clearly evident in your tone. “You were so preoccupied with the movie and talking about the love scenes and all the places you were all about to visit, how it was working alongside Jake Gyllenhaal, that of course you’d forget me. It was as if I was never there, I felt invisible. Like I was an afterthought, it was stupid of me to think that I mattered to you. I regret flying out to see you, that is time and money I can’t take back”

“Oh stop that, don’t be dumb” he says exasperatedly.

Just as you were about to reply, you stopped in your tracks. Your pent up anger greatly affecting you and ultimately the baby too, all of your emotions consuming your entire being that you felt sharp pains running at your side. It was as if someone had ran up to you and stabbed you in your ribs. You kneel to the ground clutching the right side of your body as you hunch over in pain. Your sister notices your sudden moves and rushes to your side, she tries to calm you down, and tells you to do some deep breathing exercises but you can’t, the pain was too unbearable.

You ended up changing positions and curled yourself into a fetal position as you clutched your side. You were in agony, the pain was so excruciating that you started crying. Panic courses to all three of you. Seeing you in this state killed him. If there was one thing he hated, it was seeing you in pain and upset; and here you were, feeling both. Something was definitely wrong. He and your sister decided to take you to the hospital. He offers to drive while your sister tries to help you calm down and relax. Instinctively, he scoops you up from where you were and carried you bridal style; he carries you into the backseat of the car and buckles you up. While waiting for your sister, he quickly typed the nearest hospital address in his phone GPS, and in a matter of seconds, he got the car up and running and began his route.

You could feel yourself profusely sweating. Your body was shaking uncontrollably, assuming that you were becoming hypothermic because of this added stress, your body’s defense mechanism in complete overdrive. Your heart was racing, as you put your index and middle finger in the inner aspect of your wrist, just below your left thumb, you felt the pulsations. Your pulse was bounding, you couldn’t even count your heartbeat, it was just beating erratically.

It must be somewhere in the 150s or higher. Who knows. Baby, I hope you’re alright in there. We are on our way to the hospital. I truly hope and pray that you’re not in any distress, I just don’t want anything bad to happen to you, I don’t know what I’d do if I find out you aren’t okay. I can’t bear the thought of possibly losing you. God knows what I would do if I find out you aren’t okay. Please, baby, mommy’s begging you, please be okay, for You thought to yourself, as a few tears fell, ultimately landing on your sweater.

It felt like forever, but you finally arrived at the hospital. Tom pulled into the entrance to the Emergency Department and quickly ran in to get help. Within minutes you saw 3 people running towards the car with a stretcher. They assisted you into the stretcher safely and brought you in, Tom rushing alongside you all, matching the strides of the hospital staff and your sister in tow. Immediately you were brought into your room and you were hooked up to the monitors. More staff came in to get an IV line inserted as well get blood and urine samples for routine testing. They took off the sweater you were wearing and quickly put on a hospital gown. They realized you were expecting, so they planned to get the OB resident involved in your case.

Everything and everyone was moving rather quickly, you began to feel dizzy again. Without warning, you started to vomit. Your fight or flight instincts kicking into maximum overdrive, your body’s internal homeostasis all out of whack. You assume that this was your body’s weird way of dealing with this distress.

If there was one thing you got from this pregnancy, it was that stress plus your body was not a good mix. You got extremely ill whenever your body’s homeostasis was out of the norm. Your body’s way of dealing with the stress/situation at hand.

In the midst of your body retching, getting rid of all the contents of your stomach, you happened to muster up enough energy to look up at the monitor. Heart rate 198, Blood pressure 180/120. Holy shit. One of the nurses had hooked up an external fetal monitor to your bump; the alarms were going off as soon as it turned on, as per the monitor, your baby’s heart rate was 175. That was out of the norm; normal fetal heart rate is 120-160. How you were still awake and conscious and aware of your surroundings was beyond you. A person with those vital signs usually pass out, goes into cardiac arrest or have a stroke. They were then immediately intubated, had a foley catheter and had a central line inserted instead of just a peripheral line and whisked into the critical care unit. It was almost shocking that you hadn’t passed out or lose consciousness. You’ve seen it happen countless times, I guess you were one of the rare cases.

You end up passing out. While you are unconscious, he meets up with your sister and the doctors, your sister informed him that she got in contact with your parents and that they were on their way.

The doctors waited for your parents to arrive before leading you all into a private room to talk about their plan once all the test results come in. After discussing your plan of care, they brought him into your room, and that, at that moment, was when he took in your appearance. That was when he saw your bump, you’re pregnant.

Had it really been that long since he last saw you? So many thoughts ran rampant in his mind. Who was the baby’s father? Will he be coming to meet up with your family? Will he sit beside you and wait until you woke up? His consuming thoughts elicited the pain he worked so hard to suppress. The love of his life was having a baby with someone that was not him. His lifelong dream to marry you and start a family with was shattered; now becoming his worst nightmare. In just a short time, he would come face to face with the lucky man who now has you.

After some time, you wake up. Your family rushed to your side and held you tightly, relieved that you regained consciousness. He stood in the back of the room and watched the moment.

You were consumed with talking with your parents that you didn’t realize he left the room. He leaves and heads to the nurse’s station to alert them that you’ve woken up.

He comes in to let your parents know that your nurse was paging the residents to let them know you were awake. As he spoke, he dared not look at your direction. He maintained eye contact with your parents. As you lie in bed, you took in his image. Never in a million years did you think you would bump into him again. After all this time, he managed to stay the same. The same lanky, curly headed fool that you were once in love with. You could see the look on his face; the look of heartbrokenness, mixed with him being a little more pale than usual. He looked so hurt, so empty. Every single one of your family members felt it too. They knew that it wasn’t their business, but just like everyone else(everyone that mattered), they loved and shipped the idea of you both, and seeing the two of you apart and so broken, broke them too.

He whispered something to them and left your room.

It had been quite some time and he still had not returned to your room. Worried, you send your sister to look for him, or at least see if he was okay, or if he had left(again), without saying goodbye.

She obliges to your wish and leaves your room. About 100 feet from your room, she sees his frame in one of the chairs. He sat in one of the chairs in the hospital waiting room, his hands brought up to his face. As your sister made her way to the seat beside him, she rested her hand on his shoulder. Shocked at the action, he looks up. With flushed cheeks and red eyes, he locked eyes with hers. She couldn’t help it, it wasn’t long before she started crying too.

“How is she doing?”

“She seems okay, she’s talking to mom and dad right now. She was wondering where you went, so she sent me to find you. Are you going to go back?”

“N-no, I don’t think so. I don’t think that’ll be good for her. I think it is best that I leave, please send her my regards and well wishes; also, please tell her I send my congratulations, she’s going to be such an amazing mother. I’ve never doubted that, not in the slightest bit. She was always so good with kids” his voice quivered, the agony clearly evident.

“I know it’s hard, but please. Just go in, I’m sure she would like to see you and thank you for taking her here. What do you have to lose?”

He sat silent, contemplating his decisions.

What does he have to lose?

“Okay, I’ll go in”

Content with his answer, she nods her head.

“Y/S/N, can I ask you something? Is, is, she still angry? Is she still upset about what happened? I want to explain myself, but I don’t know if that will do more harm than good. Things clearly did not go as I had hoped it would earlier today, I mean come on, look where it landed us- I mean her, and her baby. I don’t want to stress her out any more. She doesn’t need that, she needs to focus on getting better, for herself and the baby. I am afraid to ask her, but what is she having? A boy or girl?”

“I don’t know, really. I don’t, I, I uh haven’t asked her. I feel like it’s none of my business, y’know? Like I don’t want to bring it up and upset her or something. Try and see if she’s willing to listen, you honestly never know unless you ask and try again. Anyways, she’s having a girl. We are all so excited. I swear, the baby isn’t born yet but she’s already so spoiled. I can’t even imagine how it’ll be when she’s actually here”

“Uhm, yeah, maybe I’ll ask her. I’m going to take it one step at a time”

She gets up from her seat and waits for him. It wasn’t long before they arrived back into your room.

She enters first and takes her seat right by your parents. He shuts the door and stands in his original spot.

You knew you needed to have a conversation with him, to continue with the conversation you both had before coming to the ED.

Your whole family sensed some kind of tension in the air. They figured you both needed to have this conversation, even though both parties were hesitant.

Your parents tell you that they were going to grab some dinner and needed your sister to come along with them, making up an excuse really, so that you and him were left with no choice but to talk. It was a long time coming. Well needed too.

The three of them left, leaving you and him. You could feel the awkwardness in the air.

You figured he was going to leave.

“Do-do you want me to keep you company until they return?” he finally spoke

“Uh, it’s up to you. You can leave if you want. I’ll be okay, I’m hooked to the monitors, so the doctors and nurses on the unit can keep an eye out on me. If anything happens, they have everyone’s numbers, so they’ll get in contact with them. You must be exhausted”

“Actually, I’m okay. But if you want me to leave so you can rest, I can. Maybe I’ll stop by tomorrow, if you want me to”

“I’m actually okay too. If you want to come by again tomorrow, you can. Uh, I. Uh, I, I just want to say thank you. Y’know, for taking me here”

“Y-yeah, of-of course. I’m sorry; for what I said earlier. You’re not dumb, not in the slightest”

“I’m sorry too”

“Can we talk?”

“I thought that was what we were doing?”

“I mean, like talk, talk”

“About?”

“Us. About everything”

You remained silent.

He took this opportunity to explain himself. When else was he going to have the chance to do so?

Your sister’s words replaying in his head.

“I know there are no sorries in this world can truly express how terrible I feel about what happened and what I did. I’m sorry it took me getting to the hotel to realize your absence. I’m sorry I didn’t come back sooner. Sorry that I didn’t try hard enough to find you. How I’ve let you in an unknown place by yourself. Because of what I did I missed out on what was the biggest day of your life. I would have loved to have been there on your graduation day, cheering for you from the stands because I am so unbelievably proud of you. All of your hard work, blood, sweat and tears paid off. If I could go back in time and change everything, I would. I would do so in a heartbeat, because that shouldn’t have happened” he sobs.

Tears pool in your eyes as well. This was a long time coming. As much as you hated the idea, it needed to be done, for both your sakes.

“I can never blame you. That, this, is your career. This is what you’re meant to do in this life. This is your calling. Who am I to ever take that away from you? You worked so tirelessly and so hard to get to where you are now. You are so passionate in everything that you do, and that movie was no different. It definitely showed, it was a really good movie. Look, it’s in the past now, I’ve moved on. I’ve accepted it, and I’m okay.. And I think you should stop beating yourself up for what happened and carry on. Don’t be too hard on yourself” you spoke, your voice barely a whisper.

“I can’t. I just can’t” he whimpered.

Silence.

“So Y/S/N told me you’re having a baby girl. Congratulations. You are going to be such an incredible mom, I’ve seen you with kids, you are such a natural... Did you find a name for her yet?”

“Uh, thank you, yes I did. Her name is Arielle Rose”

“That such a lovely name, darling”

Darling. His favorite term of endearment for you.

“Uh, I’m sorry. It just slipped” he says, trying to save himself from the uncomfortableness.

Oh how you’ve missed that name.

“uhm, thanks”

Great, now things are awkward again. Ugh.

“So, is your boyfriend on his way?”

“What boyfriend?”

“The baby’s father, is he on his way?”

“No. He doesn’t exist”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know”

“It’s fine. Yeah no, he will not be a part of her life. I know she’ll probably ask when she is older, but we will cross that mountain when the time comes”

“I know it’s none of my business, but did something happen?”

“Just as you said, it is none of your business; but we just didn’t work out, that’s all”

Y/N, tell him the truth. He deserves to know. He has the right to know, he is the father. Even though things fell apart between you both, you need to not be selfish and not rob her of her father and his amazing family.

“I’m sorry”

“Yeah”

Just as you were about to speak, a knock caught both your attentions.

The OB doctor as well as your nurse came in. They told you that you were going to be admitted for the night for observation. They asked if you needed anything else from them before they left, shaking your head and reminded you for like the hundredth time that night that if you needed anything to press the red button in the remote and a staff would be in to assist you.

You thanked them as they proceeded out the door.

“So how far along are you?”

“6 months” “Did you have your gender reveal or baby shower yet?”

“My sister and I are actually planning my gender reveal. My parents don’t know. We are supposed to have it in about 2 weeks”

“Oh that sounds great, how are you revealing?”

“With pink balloons inside of a huge white box, after the countdown, we will untie the strings and the top of the box will open, revealing and releasing the balloons. The color theme is pink, blue and white, we are planning to have different things and foods that are pink and blue to see which one each guest thinks I am having and games where people can guess what I’m having”

“That sounds like so much fun”

“Yeah, it does. I can’t wait. In a way, I just want it to be over, this was beyond stressful trying to plan. I think I need to make a mental note of this for her first birthday party” you let out a small laugh.

He locks eyes with you and smiles.

He saw how tired you looked, and opted to pause the conversation, you needed to rest. Pleased with how your conversation went. He still had some questions, but decided that he will defer them to a later time.

He shut the light off and told you to take it easy. He told you that he would stay with you until your family came back. He greeted you goodnight and tucked you in.

You thanked him once again and began to drift off.

You woke up in the middle of the night and saw him asleep beside you. He rested his head at the foot of your bed. You were surprised to see him, you thought he would be long gone, assuming that your sister or your mom was going to spend the night with you.

The exhaustion clearly taking its full effect on your body, your eyes barely staying open, even in just that mere moment. You pulled your blanket up to your neck as you rested your head back on your pillow, welcoming your slumber again.

G’night, Tom.

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series taglist: @hollandroos @roses-hxlland @parkeret @sleepybesson @moonlightom @blueeyedbesson @unholyholland @lemondropirwin @delicately-important-trash @let-me-luve-you @your-daily-dose-of-fangirl @smexylemony @allieandcoffee @captainbuckyy @notevenenglish @infamousmany @geeksareunique @bellagrayson-wayne @a-dorky-book-keeper @crazypsychobookworm @lilya-petrichor @gemflowerrr @judemoos @chillinjules @littlebookbengal @marvelhoelland @its-the-unknownspidey @emeraldrhee-grimes @stephy-senpai @marvelismylifffe @tiya14 @andreuskystuff @soy-una-conejo @danicarosaline @youngjellyfishpolice @ellascarlettangel @wonders-of-the-multiverse @trumpettay @aestheticgaybish @ghostlytree612 @asmilinghopelessromantic @raspberrydreamclouds @seasidecrowbar @anini71 @kaylinfayezink @trashsiara @ionknowrlly @southsidespidey @julsgrc @jackiehollanderr @hollandshearteyes @imagine-addictt @madeinthemidnightmemories @iwokeupinabadmood @bobo-bush @h-oneyholland @vthenerd @justkeepdreaminganddreaming @lala-florez @mutuallynotmutual @karlitabi-rrito @crashhmycar @a-dorky-book-keeper @hollandinq @southsidespidey @kill-the-stereo @wronglanemendes @quackson606 @lovexo26 @wowiedraco @kaylathekittykat225 @popluckbih @littleraton @cannotpsd @unholyholland @ashwarren32 @parkerindustrys @euphorichxlland

#tom holland imagine #tom holland angst #tom holland one shot #tom holland x you #tom holland x reader #herseries

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oshbluepacific · 4 years

Text

Unfaithful Trust XIII

Type: Fluff/Angst

Character: Jung Hoseok x Reader (MAFIA! AU) feat. Kim Namjoon

Words Counted: 1k6+

MASTERLIST . ask/request

I - II - III - IV - V - VI - VII - VIII - IX - X - XI - XII - XIV - XV - XVI - XVII

Hoseok was the type of person who was ready for everything. Nothing really surprises him at this point in his life. But somehow you really did take him off guard tonight. As you kissed him all of the sudden and hugged him tightly, it surprised him enough that he doesn’t know what to do.

He can figure codes, strategies, even his own enemies by the minute. But he can never figure you out until this second.

He can hear your soft sniffle on his chest and he could feel his heartbeat getting faster by the minute. He slowly puts his arms around you only to find your arms around his stomach tighten. He gently rubs your back and pressed his lips on the top of you head.

“Do you want to take it to bed?” He asked softly. He could feel your head nodding, and you both moved to cuddle on the bed. Hoseok pulled the sheets, tucking you in and he could see your face softens. His hands moved against your head, comforting you until finally you fell asleep. As soon as Hoseok noticed you fell asleep, he tried his best to move away from you and get off from the bed. He walked out of the room and down the stairs and called out for Kobe.

“Yes sir?” He suddenly came out of a room. He was still in his white shirt and black pants.

“Has (Y/N) told you anything that’s bothering her?” Hoseok asked. And it seemed that Kobe is surprised and as confused as Hoseok.

“No… I don’t think she has sir…” He answered, shaking his head slightly.

“Is something bothering her?” Kobe asked, as Hoseok let out a breath, running his hand through his hair.

“She cried… all of the sudden.” Hoseok added. “I couldn’t think of anything else but she saw someone that might look disturbing or probably someone was harassing her or…” Hosoek shook his head, not really knowing what else to think of.

“Let me go ask Anne.” Kobe said, turning his heels and walked towards the back of the house. Hosoek walked himself towards the living room and plopped himself on the couch.

Moments later, Kobe came into the room followed by Anne behind him, wearing her sleeping clothes.

“Anne, did (Y/N) tell you about anything that happened today that bothers her?” Hoseok asked, getting up from the couch.

Anne’s eyes widen, showing that she’s fully awake and aware before turning to Kobe who only raised his eyebrow before she could turn back to Hoseok.

“I don’t know if this is my place to tell but…” She then took a long breath before showing a smile, and a genuine look to Hoseok. “Seems like you’re starting to care about her, and I’m also worried about her well being, so I will tell you this, but please, knowing what I know, just act like you don’t know anything around her, because I want her to be the one to tell you as well.” She said, and Hoseok nodded his head.

“Fair enough.” Hosoek said.

“Two women were just saying judgmental things about her, and also you sir, and…” Anne swallowed hard before she could continue. “They were saying abouthow (Y/N) would be as a mother, when really, she has a thougth about it, just not now.”

“She also met her past lover… Kim Namjoon.”

Hoseok felt a gust of wind just knock the soul out of him. It wasn’t that he’s hurt because you met Namjoon. Rather the guilt, because it shows that you still love Namjoon, and you miss him. But you’re stuck with Hoseok.

Namjoon should be the one with you, not him.

“Anything happened between them?” Hoseok asked.

Anne shook her head. “No,” She said, “(Y/N), was just nervous. The last time they’ve seen each other was before you both got eloped.” Anne said.

That’s a long damn time! Hosoek thought, as he pushed his hair back

“Did he at least come to the wedding?” Hosoek asked again, and Anne quickly shook her head.

“Oh, dear god, no!” Kobe answered, shaking his head.

“How come?” Hoseok asked confusedly.

“From what I heard, was that her father forbids Namjoon for coming… if he sees him in the venue, he’ll shoot Namjoon dead where he stood.”

Hoseok eyes widen, as if what Anne told her was fiction. But deep inside, he knows it’s the truth.

“Jesus…” He breathed.

“Even if (Y/N) wanted her to come and Namjoon to show his support and happiness, he couldn’t… they couldn’t.” Kobe added.

“(Y/N) cuts all communication with Namjoon so that her father wouldn’t do anything to hurt Namjoon. She wouldn’t want anything bad happen to him.”

“The last time she talked to him was a week after the wedding, and she was actually in distraught.”

“What do you mean?” Hoseok asked.

Kobe and Anne looked at each other and Anne was motioning for Kobe to break the news to Hoseok.

Kobe pursed his lips before letting out a sigh and looked at Hoseok.

“She thought that you killed him.”

He widen his eyes—shocked—unbelievably.

“Anne!” You called out in the middle of the day. Anne heard the sound of your rushed footsteps on the stairs before you appeared in the room. Your hair was a complete mess, your eyes shows horror, terror and fear. Tears were pooled in you eyes.

“Did you know where Hoseok went?” You asked her distraught.

“No… I don’t think I do, something wrong?”

Your mouth parted a little like you wanted to scream but ended up with a squeak before falling to the floor crying.

“(Y/N)!” Anne quickly rushed around and kneeled beside you, holding you close.

You kept on crying and screaming, Anne was confuse and didn’t really know what to do.”

“(Y/N), what happened, please calm yourself down, tell me what’s wrong?” Anne asked.

“I-i-i… My father knows that I’m still in contact with Namjoon.” You told her. “I don’t know how he knows about it, but he does… And last night he called… and…” You weren’t able to finish your sentence and cried.

“And…?”

“And he told me that I won’t be able to contact him again nor see him again, and then Hoseok leaving today just made me think that maybe he’s on his way to kill him.” You cried and and it breaks Anne’s heart to hear your like this. A tear escaped her eye and Anne held you tighter in her arms.

“Everything is going to be okay darling… everything will be okay… let’s just think something other than that okay—let’s not think about that.”

“I can’t, I can’t, I can’t…” You cried.

“Please, I don’t want anything bad happen to Namjoon, I don’t want him to be gone forever! I’ll do anything, please just tell me he’s okay, please tell me that he’s safe, he’s not hurt… please tell him I love him.” You rambled, still crying.

“Well now we know, he’s still doing well and alive.” Hoseok said, taking a seat on the couch.

“You looked a bit shooken up there sir.” Kobe commented.

“Yeah, taking all of this story in? it’s fucking hard.” Hosoek snapped. “The person that I live with, who is a women—which is also my wife! Is that afrais of me…”

“But you need to keep in mind dear, she’s starting to open up to you, she’s not afraid of you like she used to.”

Like she used to, still Anne, she’s that afraid of me.

“What am I suppose to do? To-to… to make her trust me? To make her believe that I don’t ever want to hurt her?” Hoseok asked.

“Just be with her more, spend more time with her, talk to her, let her have her own freedom as well.” Anne told him.

“She doesn’t ask for a new heart, she doesn’t need you to pick up the pieces, she just needs you to fill in what’s empty.”

After the long talk with Anne and Kobe about nothing other than you, Hosoek finally got tired and excused himself to bed and let both Kobe and Anne rest as well. He entered your room and you were still fast asleep. He carefully closed the door behind him and walked to the side of the bed before getting into the covers.

“Hoseok…?” Your raspy sleepy voice called. He turned to your side and it seems like he accidentally woke you up.

“Hey… Sorry, did I sartle you awake?” He asked, and you nodded your head.

“Kinda.” You answered him. “Where were you?” You asked him.

“I went to my room for a bit, there was a call, and I didn’t want to bother you.” He said.

“Have you even slept?” You asked him, but your eyes were closed.

“No… I couldn’t.” He said honestly.

“Why? Something bothering you mind?” You asked him.

“No… just that important call… why don’t you get back to sleep, I won’t leave again.” He said.

“Well good.” You said. You scooted closer to Hoseok and he waste no time pulling you closer to his embrace.

“It’s getting a little colder, I need something warm around me.” You sighed, and Hoseok just chuckled.

“Sleep okay? We’ll talk when the sun is up.” He said, before pressing his lips on your temple.

You nodded your head and drifted back to sleep.

Hoseok let time passes by while stoking the back of your hair gently.

“I hope you’re willing to give me the chance to make things right for you. I’ll fix everything, I’ll try to fill in the holes in your heart.” Hoseok whispered.

Hoseok didn’t know you were still awake, you heard his words and you felt so touched you can’t even contained the tear that escaped your eye.

I’m willing to.

As promised, i’m back with a new chapter! finally! after i don’t know how many months of work and studying i have free time to finally write again. let me know what you guys think, and feel free to drop some ideas on what should happen next!

see you on the next chapter!

-t

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feel199x · 5 years

Text

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚apple of my eye ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ chapter III

I II III IV V VI VII VIII IX X

gang member!Jisung, bandmate!jisung, florist!reader

a/n: this is a fluffier chapter? as always, the flower’s meanings will be at the end. ʕ ♡ •㉨• ♡ ʔ

masterlist

warnings: references to abuse

You hadn’t heard from Jisung in exactly two weeks today. You were upset, but you were always smiling, letting your fingers rest upon your lips or rub your cheeks when you caught your mind drifting off back to that night. You had texted and called, and you knew that it was somewhat in vain, but you did it anyway, on the off chance that he did answer. Your flower shop was finished being reconstructed, lucky that you ended up not having to pay for the damage. Luckier that the insurance didn’t make you file a police report. Actually, the truth was that they had finished a little over a week ago, but you had been working up the nerve to go out again. You knew there’s had to be a chance that he would be waiting. But life goes on.

You had warned Jisung that you would be going today a couple days ago. You didn’t have anything to pack, the love letters you had read and received were crumpled in your pocket and the monkshood had long since wilted and died. What kept you reaching and pulling back from the doorknob at the entrance of Mrs. Han’s house, was in fact, the letter. You knew that the same person who had destroyed your flower shop, most likely had sent the letters too. But a part of you didn’t want to throw them away. Even though you had a hard time admitting it, you had deep emotions of devotion regarding Jisung, and if there was any chance…

But you didn’t let yourself have hope, you didn’t want to add fire to a flame that to you, could only destroy. And it hit you like, well, actually the front door hit you as someone tried to enter the house. You assumed it had been Mrs. Han but she said she wouldn’t be back until the evening, and that she hoped you had made it safely back to your shop because she needed new arrangements. But it wasn’t.

“I’m so sorry,” Jisung rambled and you heard him drop something, “Are you okay? Oh my god-”

But you just laughed, you were happy to see him and hear his voice when the sun was still out. It felt normal, better, like for a moment- everything was okay. And when he smiled, the moment he heard your laugh? He relaxed, helping you get up, he remembered how small your hands felt in his. And for a few minutes, the both of you just stood there, the door still open, tight in each other’s embrace. You could hear the rhythm of his heartbeat, steady and consistent, reminding you that he was still here. He would always be here. You hoped that he couldn’t feel your heartbeat, the bass of it’s beat nearly making you tremble. But it was the good type of acceleration, like the feeling you get when your lover messages or calls. Like when you get new flowers, or when someone tells you how much they liked your arrangements. Things seemed okay.

Seemed.

“Hey ‘sungie.”

“Mm?”

“Can you close the door now please?”

Before he closed the door, Jisung grabbed something he had dropped a few minutes before and handed it to you. He looked out into the streets, as if by habit, and finally closed the door. It was a messy bouquet, admittedly, but it was full of orange blossoms, forget me nots, primroses, white lilies, and yellow tulips.

“Look I know it’s not the best-”

You were crying again. This time, it’s because you couldn’t help but feel like you were appreciated, like you mattered. You knew you should never assign your worth to a person, but Jisung was the best person you had ever met. He was constantly looking out for you, making you feel better. You couldn’t ask for a better friend. Anyone you’d meet in the future would be compared to Jisung, and you thought it was a good standard to have.

“It is. It’s the best.”

He kissed you, for real this time. The door’s glass window letting the midday sun shine through, a bright rainbow color prismed on your face, the gentle light warning your face. You thought he had wanted to forget about the night two weeks ago, but you regret ever having that thought.

You leaned against Jisung’s chest as you watched a movie you weren’t really paying attention to. He had an arm wrapped around your waste, tracing circles on your collarbone distractedly.

Or so you thought.

“What’s wrong?”

You didn’t want to ruin the moment, not again, and let something bad take this away from you. But you knew, that eventually, you had to ask. You moved to reach for your pocket, and pulled out the various letters.

“Did you send these?”

You turned to face him, but he kept his arm wrapped around you, afraid to let you go. He looked flustered, his face turning pink.

“Yes,”

You smiled, looking back down at the letters.

“But not the red ones. I sent the white ones with the pink hearts to close it shut.”

A wave of emotions crashed against you, you wanted to be happy that Jisung had sent you love letters. But if there was more people, then you were right.

He had known for a long time that you were here, and he had watching, waiting. And that terrified you more than anything. Jisung grabbed the red envelopes and dumped the contents of them out, examining the words and the the flowers. On the floor was a pool of nasturtium, oleander, orange mock, and other flowers you realized weren’t flukes. It wasn’t a mistake of the sender, like you thought, like you hoped. You felt guilty all over again.

“There’s no difference between how I wrote and how he did. He used the same font as I did, and none of these are passive aggressive.”

“The flowers.”

In the beginning, you dismissed it as a mistake because it was just one flower in the mix of a larger group of seemingly well-intentioned flowers. Jisung gave you a concerned look, beckoning you to continue explaining.

“There were only a couple of weird ones, they were in the mix of daisies and stuff. I ignored it.”

“You can’t go back.”

“I can’t stay here either.”

You were scared. You didn’t want to have to face him again, but you didn’t want to make Jisung fight your battles either. You gathered up the flowers and red letters, and stood up to throw them in the trash.

“___, what are you doing?”

“He’s not going to take my happiness away from me. Not again.”

You put the white envelopes neatly in your pocket, and braved yourself for whatever could possibly happened. Jisung knew that he couldn’t stop you, not when you got like this. The most he could do was follow behind and do whatever he could to help you calm down. Sadness was the voice in your head that kept you down. But anger? Rage fueled you like no drug could, because no high, no type of adrenaline drove you to act on something like the sense of injustice. You knew this feeling would probably pass before you had even reached your store, but as anger breathed down on the back of your neck- you decided that the only time to act was now. When you were unafraid and reckless, forgetting the skills you had developed to keep you alive. All the lessons you learned, everything that ruled your way of being, abandoned.

If you were lucky, you’d be wrong. Maybe it was a freak accident, wrong place, wrong time. But you weren’t lucky, in fact, you thought, you were very, very, very unlucky. But not with Jisung. As you pressed your head against his back, you realized you had struck gold. Jisung was priceless, nothing in the universe, not even the core of a collapsing star was as valuable as he was to you. Because without Jisung? You didn’t even want to think about what could’ve gone wrong.

“I would tell you to stay here,” Jisung said as you arrived, “But I don’t want you to be anywhere unless it’s with me.” He gave you a cautious smile as he held your hand, watching your shaky fingers unlock the finished shop. If you had time, you would’ve sighed and took a deep breath to smell the mixed scent of the garden of flowers. You would’ve noticed how they put the wind chimes back up, or how they put the stained glass window beside the orchids back. But you didn’t. Because even though it was completely silent, except for the muted footsteps by the pair of you, it felt as though any moment your shadow would creep up behind you and take you away.

But it didn’t.

Not tonight.

That night, you fell asleep as exhaustion weighed your eyes down and Jisung sang you to sleep. You felt like finally, finally, you could have a happy ending wrapped in Jisung’s arms, in your bed, surrounded by familiar greenery.

But your shadow, was in fact waiting. Watching.

・‥…━━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━━…‥・

a/n: y’all really can't catch a break huh

orange blossoms: innocence, eternal love

forget me nots: true love

primroses: i can’t live without you

white lilies: it’s heavenly to be with you

yellow tulips: there’s sunshine in your smile

nasturtium: conquest, victory in battle

oleander: caution

orange mock: deceit

red: anger, passion

white: innocence, purity

pink: love

#stray kids #stray kids fanfic #stray kids imagines #skz imagines #skz fic #skz han jisung #skz fluff #skz angst #stray kids han #stray kids fluff #stray kids angst #han jisung #han jisung fanfic #han jisung imagine #han jisung imagines

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forever-rogue · 6 years

Text

I See Right Through You - Part III

Summary: Y/N’s a DC upshot, who has a lot of opinions and isn’t afraid of speaking her mind. That’s exactly what got her in trouble in the first place. That’s exactly what led to Frank Castle entering her life as her bodyguard. It’s a love-hate thing...but it’s just business, right?

A/N: hey y’all! I hope you enjoy this part! I love writing Frank. We all know he’s secretly a soft flower. Taglists are open! xx

Word Count: 2.6k

Pairing: Frank Castle x Reader

Warning: language and violence

PART I | PART II | PART IV | PART V | PART VI

MASTERLIST

Y/N stifled a yawn as she tried to keep her eyes open, the speaker’s voice droning on and on. He had been talking for almost two hours nonstop on an issue which, quite frankly, was not that important. Census conducting techniques, while necessary, were not her area of expertise, nor was it a riveting topic.

She grabbed he cup of coffee sitting in front of her and sipped it gingerly; it had long gone cold and was never great to begin with, instant coffee just never is. She couldn’t wait to escape and get an actual meal and coffee. Y/N looked through the glass doors to the conference room and spied Frank sitting out in the lobby, reading a book. He had insisted, of course, on being there and waiting for her. She thought it was overkill, but he said it was part of the job. As if on cue, he looked up and caught her and made a face. She returned it, rolled her eyes, and pointed slyly at the speaker.

He gestured for her to come out and leave, but she hesitated. It wouldn’t be professional of her to just leave in the middle of a meeting, but on the other hand she was getting nothing out of it. She bit her lip, before deciding to just head out. She quickly grabbed her things, trying to be as discreet as possible, and slipped them into her bag and booked it out the door. No one even looked in her direction.

“You actually did it, I’m pleasantly surprised,” he smirked at her, as she caught up to him. They had spent the last several weeks together, getting to know each more and more everyday and getting on each other’s last nerves at times.

“I couldn’t stand it anymore. 2 hours on census techniques? I was ready to fall asleep,” she sighed and rolled her eyes.

“I know, I could see that. Plus, I was tired of waiting around for you,” he chuckled as they exited the building and finally walked into the fresh air.

“You don’t have to wait for me all the time, you know. I’m pretty sure that’s a safe and secure building.”

“Too many risks. People are always coming and going,” he shook his head and she sighed. She was still having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that he was around 24/7. Sometimes she just wanted to be alone, completely alone - not having him in the other room.

“Fineeee,” she hit his arm before quietly adding, “asshole.”

“You know I could get used to all those pet names, sweetheart,” he smirked at her, as he opened the passenger door to her car and she begrudgingly climbed in. She still wasn’t allowed to drive, something that peeved her off to no end.

“You just love getting under my skin, don’t ya, Frank?” she hissed at him as took started the car, “where are we even going?”

“What if I told you it was a surprise?”

“That sounds something a kidnapper would say. Are you turning the tables? Are you actually the person who threatened me? Has this been an elaborate plan all along?!”

“Very funny,” he gave her a dry laugh before slipping on his sunglasses, “I figured we could go to the coast, it’s a nice day. I grabbed your camera for you, in case you felt inspired.”

She paused for a moment; he had actually done something very kind and thoughtful. She had noticed that during the time they had spent together. He was a kind soul, hardened by what he had seen and been forced to do. But deep down, he still had a good heart.

“That’s...very kind of you, Frank. Thank you,” she reached into the backseat and pulled out her camera bag, making quick work of pulling out the camera and installing one of the lenses.

“You seem stressed lately, I figured you could use a break,” he shrugged his shoulders as if it was no big deal, but he was glad to see how much of a smile it put on her face, “are you hungry?”

“Starving,” she groaned and as if on cue, her stomach growled loudly, causing the two of them to laugh. She put the viewfinder up to her eyes and rolled down the window, taking some shots of the passing scenery.

He remained silent for a while, focusing on the road, while Y/N scrolled through her phone, occasionally taking a photo of anything interesting. She studied Frank for a moment, noting his unconventional handsomeness and an idea struck her. She picked up the camera and took a few photos of him.

“Really?” he sighed, but the ghost of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“It’s for my collection,” she smiled at him, “besides, you have a great profile. Perhaps one of my greatest works.”

“Very funny,” he shook his head as he pulled into the driveway of the first restaurant they had seen in a while. When Y/N saw where they were, she eagerly hopped out of the car, and headed for the door, leaving Frank behind. He huffed and followed her, making sure not to lose sight of her.

Y/N thankfully, and eagerly shoveled pasta in her mouth; it was the first real meal she had eaten in the last few days. When she was busy with work and running around all day, she usually just snacked on whatever was easy to grab. She tried to control the light moans that were threatening to escape her mouth.

Frank watched her with an amused face as he took his time eating his one meal. At least she wasn’t shy about eating in front of other people like some other women.

“Slow down or I swear you’ll end up choking. And I’m under no obligation to keep you safe from yourself,” he gently reached over and lowered her arm so she couldn’t grab another bite before finishing what she was already chewing.

“My bad,” she said sheepishly as she swallowed the bite in her mouth, “I was really hungry.”

“I can tell,” he smirked at her before pausing for a moment, “can I ask you something?”

“You’ve spent almost the entire last month with me. I’m pretty sure you’ve probably seen me and heard me doing everything by now.”

“Heard?” he tried to keep a straight face as he realized what she had said.

“Oh my God, I should not have said that,” she realized her mistake as her cheeks turned bright crimson, “ignore that - you didn’t hear anything. What were you going to ask?”

“I’ve been thinking,” he said quietly as he took a bit of his own food, “you’ve got quite the background. How did you end up working in politics? I’m sure they’ve seen your history. How did they let that slide?”

Y/N froze for a second, her whole body tensing up. She hadn’t expected him to ask that question. But then again, he was extremely sharp and paid attention to every little detail.

“I guess I just got lucky,” she refused to make eye contact with him, focusing her attention on what was left on her plate. She could feel his intense stare on her.

“I know when you’re lying to me,” he nudged her shin lightly with his foot, “you’re terrible at it.”

“I am not,” she insisted quietly.

“You can tell me, you know,” his voice was low and quiet, trying to get her to come out of her shell. She could tell he was getting annoyed already.

“Look,” she sighed as she met his gaze when she realized he wasn’t going to give up, “in politics, everything comes with a price. If you want to stay in the game, you have to pay that price. The man that hired me made sure I knew that.”

“What was the price?” he asked, although he was slowly putting the pieces together. She refused to answer him, staring out the window they were sitting by, “Y/N. Tell me. What did they do to you?”

“Drop it.”

“Not until you say it. Out loud.”

“Frank-”

“Say it.”

“Fine, you really want to know?” she hissed at him, “he had his way with me, okay? He promised me a clean slate, if I gave him what he wanted. This was my only way in, I knew I had no other chances. I was young and I already had a record. I had no other choice. I needed to give myself the chance.”

“He forced you to do that? Said you had no other choice, huh?” Frank was angry, but he was trying to keep himself calm. This was exactly the type of scumbag he hated, the kind that took advantage of others for their own gain.

“I didn’t know what else to do,” she said quietly and finally met his gaze. He could see the pain etched onto her face, her eyes glossy with tears, “he said it was only way I could have a career, or else he’d make sure I never worked in politics.”

“Fucking piece of shit scumbag,” Frank slammed his fist on table, causing the silverware to clatter slightly.

“It was my choice too.”

“No, no it wasn’t,” he growled, anger obvious in his voice, “what’s his name? And don’t give me some crap answer, Y/N. Just fucking tell me.”

“Rupert Modeck,” she sighed as she wiped away the tears that had broken free and trickled down her cheeks. Frank watched for a moment before taking his large hand and putting it over hers, “let’s just go.”

“Are you sure, you’re finished?”

“I’m not hungry anymore, let’s just go home,” she insisted as she headed for the door, leaving him sitting there, unsure of how to respond. He groaned and took out his wallet and throw some money on the table before going after her.

“Y/N. Are you sure?” he asked as he got inside the car. She remained silent and stared straight ahead. He sighed and turned on the car, heading back to DC with only one thing on his mind.

Y/N sat up bolt right in her bed, alarmed by the sudden noise she heard. She hoped Frank had heard it too, and was taking care of it. Her heart rate increased as she swallowed the lump in her throat. He didn’t call out for her, but she heard more movement. She glanced over at her alarm clock, which showed that it was the wee hours of the morning.

Against her better judgment, she slipped out from underneath her covers and padded over to the door, trying to remain silent. She stuck her ear to the door, hearing some footsteps. She quickly grabbed the knife she kept tucked under her mattress before opening the door and heading out into the hallway. It was still dark, and made her way to the kitchen, where the noise was coming from.

She flicked on the light, and nearly had a heart attack at the side. The knife slipped from her hand and clattered to the floor, catching Frank’s attention. He look at her, a shocked expression in his eyes. He hadn’t meant for her to find him.

“Y/N,” he sighed as he wiped some of the blood away from his face, but failing and only spreading it more. She looked him up and down and saw that that he was covered in blood, although he didn’t appear to have any visible injuries besides his bloody and cracked knuckles. She backed up a little bit as he took a step towards her.

“Frank,” her voice was shaky as she came to the realization of what he had done, “Frank-”

“Y/N, I had to do it. You know I had to,” he held up his hands in defense as he tried to read her expression. It appeared to be a mixture of shock and horror.

“No, no. You had a choice. Everything is a choice, you said so earlier. You shouldn’t done this,” she tried to keep her voice even as more tears prickled at the back of her eyes, “how could you do this?”

“He raped you!” he almost shouted in frustration, “if he did it to you, he probably did it countless others! He was not a good person. He made his choice and I made mine.”

“So that’s what you do?! You just choose to kill people? The big bad Punisher? You can’t just go and decide who to kill. We have a justice system for that!”

“A justice system that is fucked up and has never helped people like us, you know that! He deserved everything he got,” Frank insisted as he walked closer to her. She froze where she was standing. She looked him up and down, saw the amount of flood he was covered in and did not doubt Frank made him suffer, “I couldn’t let him get away with what he did to you.”

“It was years ago,” she said quietly.

“It doesn’t matter. Everyone has to deal with the consequences of their actions,” he was standing in front of her and gently put his hand on her shoulder. She reached up and softly wiped away some of the blood on his cheek, but realized it was no use, it was long dried.

“This will catch up to you. If he has to pay for his actions, you will too, Frank,” her voice was low, barely above a whisper.

“I know,” he said quietly as he nodded.

Y/N grabbed his hand and pulled him along with her to the bathroom in her room. She grabbed a washcloth, dampened it and started wiping his face. They remained silent, words not needing to be spoken, as she cleaned him up. She tugged at his shirt, indicating for him to take to it off, which he quickly did, discarding it om the floor. She studied his toned body and wiped away any of the dried blood she spotted.

He watched her intently, her face scrunched up in concentration. She grabbed his hands and cleaned his knuckles, taking care in bandaging them to make sure they wouldn’t get worse. Her eyes met his and she could tell he was getting ready to say something, so she put her finger up to his lips, to shush him.

They remained there for a few quiet moments, Frank sitting on the toilet, Y/N perched on the edge of the tub. She stood up, but he reached for her wrist and held her back. He stood up and looked down at her, before resting his forehead against hers, in a small, but intimate gesture. She breathed in scent, familiar already, but currently faintly laced with the reminiscence of blood.

Y/N took a moment before leaning up and crashing her lips onto his lips, a gesture which caught him off guard for a moment, but he wasted no time returning the kiss. It was hungry and intense, their mouths fighting for dominance, as Frank’s hands dropped to her waist, pulling her flush against his body as she wrapped her arms his neck.

He held onto to her as he led her out of the bathroom, and towards her bed. They pulled apart when they needed air, remaining silent. Frank untangled himself from her and saw a look of surprise cross her face.

“Goodnight, Y/N,” he said gently as he touched her cheek gently before heading out of her room.

Y/N sat down on her bed, her hand ghosting over where his hand had been on her cheek. She replayed the previous moments in her head, both regretting her actions, and glad they had finally acted on the sexual tension that had been growing between them.

Tomorrow would tell them where they stood. Tomorrow could be as far away as she wanted.

Permanent Taglist: @ruinerofcheese @courtneychicken @nerissa98 @santa-crew @prxttybirdz @mannatgalhotra @buckybarnesappreciationsociety @wearegoldeninthenight @ssweet-empowerment @shakingthedarkness @supernatural508 @piensa-bonito @shewalksinanotherworld

ISRTY Taglist: @iamthemaskhewears

#frank castle #frank castle x reader #the punisher #punisher x reader #jon bernthal #marvel #mcu #netflix #avengers #defenders #daredevil #jon bernthal x reader #imagine #fan fic

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nailriddenbat · 6 years

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Mayfield | Series - Pt. VIII

Summary: Max Mayfield and Billy Hargrove aren’t the only new kids to step foot into Hawkins. Meet Y/N Mayfield, Max’s big sister, who’s here to make sure no one messes with her sister.

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Mayfield!Reader (SLOW BURN)

Characters: Y/N Mayfield, Billy Hargrove, Karen Wheeler, Steve Harrington

Warnings: Language, Violence

Word Count: 2.2k

Tags: TAGS HAVE BEEN MOVED TO THE END OF THE POST!

A/N: here we go, guys.

You sat with baited breath as you watched Billy step away from the Sinclair’s front door and back to his car. You turned your head as he sat down, wasting no time in asking, “Well? Is she there?”

“If she was, don’t you think she’d be in the car right now?” Billy rolled his eyes.

You felt your eyes water and you leaned your head forward. The arcade was a strike, the school was a strike, as was the park and now the Sinclair house. You could feel yourself starting to panic as you shut your eyes tight, having no idea where to go from here.

“If you’re gonna throw up, make sure it’s outside of my car,” he said. “We have to check the Wheeler residence. She gave me the address.”

Billy tossed a sheet of paper at you and you caught it, reading the address to yourself before sighing, “She has to be here.”

“Either that or she’s gone missing,” he smirked a little.

You turned your head to glare at him, “I don’t find that to be amusing in any way.”

“I did,” he chuckled as he leaned back, pulling back onto the street.

You looked away and shook your head slowly as you stared out the window onto the streets, whispering, “I can’t believe I didn’t watch her closely.”

Billy snorted, “Don’t take it too personal, Mayfield. She’s a little bitch whether you like to admit it or not and her new friends are no better.”

“Watch what you say about her,” you said in a warning tone.

“What are you going to do to me, hm? Hurt me? I’m your only way of getting around right now. You need me, Y/N,” he taunted you.

“I don’t need shit from you. The only reason why you are in this car right now is because daddy dearest said so and you’re scared shitless of what will happen if you show up without Max,” you turned to snap at him.

“Watch your mouth,” Billy spoke.

“Oh what are you going to do, hm? Hurt me?” you mimicked his earlier words and gave him a pout.

He shook his head, “It’s no wonder George got in that car one night. If I had to put up with your shit, I would have done it sooner.”

You lifted your hand to slap him but his hand darted up quickly and wrapped around your wrist as he continued to drive. He clicked his teeth and shook his head as he turned slowly to look at you. “Do not put your fucking hands on me,” he whispered to you.

He tossed your wrist back and you leaned against the car door, fuming with anger.

You two stayed silent for the rest of the ride and you only looked up when the car stopped. You pushed the door open at the same time as him and he asked you what you were doing.

“Looking for my sister, Hargrove,” you explained shortly. You reached the door and rang the bell, then stepped back. You narrowed your eyes at him as he reached forward and rang it again. There wasn’t an immediate answer so Billy continued to ring the bell and you whispered sharply to him, “Cut it out!”

“Cut it out,” he twisted his face as he mocked you and proceeded to ring the bell.

Billy stepped back and slid his hands into his pockets, looking off to the side just as the door opened up. You looked ahead and faced a woman, who you assumed to be Mrs. Wheeler.

“Oh!” Billy said. You looked back at him and held back a groan when you saw his eyes quickly scan her. “Hi,” he grinned.

“Hi,” Mrs. Wheeler said back.

“I uh, didn’t realize Nancy had a sister,” he grinned.

“Oh my god,” you whispered underneath your breath.

Mrs. Wheeler laughed and held her hand to her chest as Billy asked her what so funny and she smiled, “I’m Nancy’s Mother.”

He gasped a bit, “No.”

“Yes,” she started to laugh again.

“Mrs. Wheeler!” Billy smiled over at her.

“I’m sorry, and you are?” Mrs. Wheeler asked.

“Billy,” he held his hand out and took Mrs. Wheeler’s, placing his other hand on top. “Billy Hargrove.”

“And I’m Y/N Mayfield,” you cut in quickly, bringing attention to the fact that you were standing right there.

“Oh,” she smiled in your direction before looking back at your stepbrother. “You must be looking for Nancy.”

“Nancy? No, no, no. Not my type. Uh...” Billy trailed off and glanced over at you before looking back at Mrs. Wheeler. “No actually. We are looking for our little sister Max. Goes by Maxine?”

“We haven’t seen her all day and we were hoping you could help,” you took a deep breath as you spoke up.

“Yes. And to be honest with you, I’ve been worried sick so...” Billy gave her a hopeless look.

“Oh,” Mrs. Wheeler sighed and tilted her head at Billy.

“We just checked Lucas’ house but-”

“But Mrs. Sinclair said your house is the designated hangout so, you know,” Billy breathed in as he leaned against the doorway, looking down at her with a grin. “Here I am.”

“Can you please just help us? Do you have any idea where she could be?” you asked her as you pushed yourself in front.

“Well they’re probably over at the Byers’ residence. I can give you the address,” she smiled up at Billy. “Come inside.”

“Oh I would love to come inside,” Billy smirked.

Mrs. Wheeler laughed and the two of you followed her inside. If you didn’t think you were going to be sick before, you were close to it now after his last comment.

She stopped by the kitchen counter and offered you some cookies, which you politely declined but Billy accepted. Mrs. Wheeler took a piece of paper as she began to write out an address while speaking, “Their driveway is pretty dark this time of night.” She ripped the paper from her book and held it out to Billy with a smile, “So drive slowly.”

“Always,” Billy smiled back.

“And when you see Mike, tell him to come home already, okay?” she asked him.

He nodded his head, still smiling, as he complimented her, “You’re a real life saver, you know that?”

He raised the cookie to his lips slowly and bit down as you rolled your eyes. “Okay enough,” you sighed as you stepped forward. You snatched the paper from his hand and gave her a small smile, “Thank you, Mrs. Wheeler. I’ll be sure to tell Mike to get home.”

“Anytime,” Mrs. Wheeler swooned as she completely ignored you.

You took off without another word and you could hear Billy say, “I’ll see you later,” before following you out.

You stomped down to his car and sat down without another word. Billy started it up a minute later after slamming his door shut and stepped on the gas, taking off.

A few minutes later, you looked over at him with disgust, “You didn’t need to make a show out of that.”

“Of course not,” he sniffed and rubbed at his nose while smirking. “But it’s all in good fun.”

“You’re disgusting,” you shook your head.

“Aw c’mon on, Y/N. You gotta live a little. Don’t get all tight just because Georgie boy is wrapped up in a box.”

“And I suppose I should just sleep around with whomever I cross paths with, right? That’s what you’ve been doing since you got here,” you shrugged your shoulders as you stared at him.

“You don’t know shit about what I’ve been doing,” he chuckled.

“Oh I don’t? Dates every weekend. Hook ups during school. You have a different chick in this car every single day,” you hummed. “What would Rebecca say about your behavior?”

Billy slammed on the breaks sharply and you screamed. You had no seat belt on and your body jerked forward, your forehead coming in contact with the dashboard. The car spun a little before it came to a stop and Billy leaned over to you as he shouted loudly, “You don’t get to talk about her!”

“And you don’t get to talk about George or any aspect of my life!” you shouted back at him.”You’re a fucking psychopath, you could have killed me!” You raised your hand to touch your forehead and winced. You could see a little bit of blood on your fingertips and you took a deep breath, trying to stop your hands from shaking.

“I would have been doing the world a god damn favor,” he practically spit in your face. “You don’t know my life. You don’t know me. You’re just a bitch who’s related to the chick that saddled up with my piece of shit father. You are nothing and neither is that piece of shit you call a sister. Now you say one more word and I will leave your ass in the middle of this road.”

You stared up at him, hatred and tears filling your eyes as you cursed him, “Fuck you, Billy.”

He rubbed at his jaw, his hands hitting against the wheel before he reached for a cigarette and lit it up. He blew the smoke in your face before he stepped on the gas again, going much faster this time. You held your hand against your forehead as you tried to ignore the pain.

He revved the engine as he reached the turn for the Byers’ residence and turned down the road sharply. Mrs. Wheeler had advised him to go slow but he was doing the exact opposite. You sat up straight when you saw a house in the distance, a dark figure standing on the porch.

Your eyes went wide when the headlights of Billy’s car hit that figure and you held back a gasp. “Steve,” you whispered to yourself.

Billy stopped the car short and climbed out once he cut the music off, calling out, “Am I dreaming or is that you Harrington?”

You pushed the door open and stepped out, looking over at Steve.

“Yeah it’s me. Don’t cream your pants,” Steve rolled his eyes as he stood with his hands on his hips.

Billy ripped his jacket off and tossed it into the open window as he stepped forward, “What are you doing here, amigo?”

The two walked towards each other and you held your breath as you stood by the door. You felt as if you couldn’t move.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Steve said. “Amigo.”

“Looking for my stepsister. A little birdie told me she was here,” Billy explained.

“Huh. That’s weird. I don’t know her,” Steve shook his head slowly.

You swallowed as Steve lied through his teeth. Billy knew damn well that Steve knew who Max was.

“Small? Redhead? Bit of a bitch?” Billy listed off some descriptions of Max.

“Billy,” you muttered his name.

Steve glanced at you quickly before looking back at Billy, “Doesn’t ring a bell. Sorry, buddy.”

Billy nodded his head slowly and lifted his hand so he could grab his cigarette. “You know, I don’t know, this... this whole situation, I don’t know Harrington.”

“Billy what are you talking about?” you sighed.

“I’m just saying, it’s giving me the heebie jeebies!” Billy shrugged.

“Oh yeah? Why’s that?” Steve asked him.

“My thirteen year old sister goes missing all day and then I find her with you,” Billy pointed his hands towards Steve, “in a stranger’s house, and you lie to me about it!”

Your eyes trailed off and you looked over at the house. They went wide when you saw a few heads pop up through the window, one head being full of red hair. Max was there. Max was okay and Steve was trying to protect her.

“Billy they’re not here,” you slammed your door shut and moved over to him. “Let’s just go and look somewhere else.”

Steve chuckled and his eyes moved to yours before looking back, “Man, were you dropped too much as a child or what?”

You could see Billy’s face start to twist and you knew that look all too well. It meant nothing good.

“I don’t know what you don’t understand about what I just said,” Steve leaned into Billy a bit. “She’s not here.”

Billy hummed and pointed his cigarette over at the window. Your heart dropped and you swallowed. “Then who’s that?” he asked Steve.

You and Steve both looked back at the house just as the kids dove down quickly.

“Oh shit,” Steve cursed. “Listen-”

He couldn’t finish his sentence as Billy pushed him down roughly.

“I told you to plant your feet,” he glared down before he picked his foot up and kicked his side.

“Billy!” you jumped in front of him and tried to push him back as he walked forward. “Billy, please. Stop and just think for a second!”

“Get out of my way,” he growled.

“Billy I am not going to let you hurt those kids!” you screamed in his face but he grabbed your arms sharply and pushed you down to the ground. You stumbled as you tried to push yourself up, feeling your ankle twist awkwardly. You continued to scream at him but he ignored you and marched forward, throwing the door open roughly before slamming it shut behind him. Your head was hurting and now so was your ankle, but you tried your best to get it together. You had to save those kids.

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tessatechaitea · 7 years

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Dark Nights: Metal #2

I could tell this cover was by John Romita Jr. because of Batman's stupid batarang. I believe that's the specialized batarang used for attaching trees to super-villains¹.

This is just cruel. Stop manipulating Swamp Thing into doing your dirty work, Batman!

Now that I know the Batmen were all members of the Bat-family, I want to know which jerk was captured by Aquaman. So embarrassing! I bet it was Red Hood. It turns out Batman was in Robin's VW Minivan which is what they all should have guessed because I guessed it but forgot to mention it. Now you're probably thinking, "Oh right! I bet you did! What a liar!" But you should know I'm telling the truth because I could have just as easily (and more believably!) gone back and edited the review by saying what I was going to say before I got distracted! You know what? I'm going to do it anyway! Fuck your sense of reality! Anyway, Superman figures it out and swoops down to threaten Batman. He picks him up and flies him into the sky saying, "All I have to do is barely squeeze. You can't even imagine how little pressure I need to add to my grip before your torso just rips like wet toilet paper. I mean, it's difficult not to explode you! You realize how many mathematical calculations I'm doing every minute just so I don't destroy everything I touch?! Imagine walking around a world built out of tissue paper and trying to navigate it without destroying it completely?! To me, you Earthlings are less substantive than a jelly doughnut!" But Batman is all, "If you squash me, you'll die because I drank a gallon of Kryptonite after getting out of the shower this morning! I'm like a deadly piñata!" Fun Fact #1: To get the "n" with the tilde on it, I looked up "jalapeno" on Google so I could copy and paste the ñ. I don't know why I didn't just look up piñata!" Fun Fact #2: When I just went to past in the ñ in piñata in the previous sentence, instead of typing CTRL-V, I typed CTRL-N and just about shit myself when my entire review disappeared! Luckily I realized pretty quickly that I'd just opened a new browser page. Batman finally decides to explain everything to Superman instead of being killed by him. It's a simple choice, really. But it's not a simple explanation! On no! The explanation is going to go pretty deep into Scott Snyder's previous story arcs to try to explain the most glaring errors in each of them.

This is even more convoluted than I was expecting! Perfect!

Now it's time to speculate on the fifth element! I bet it's Plasticmannium! Or maybe whatever shit the Orb of Ra is made from. Oh! Maybe it's Kryptonite and Batman doesn't realize he's already become the doorway because he drank that gallon of it earlier! Wonder Woman arrives to make Superman doubt Batman is being honest with him. Only Superman would ever believe anything out of Batman's mouth! He's so credulous! Even Ma and Pa Kent were fond of saying, "That boy'll believe a sack of worms if they told him they were a vagina!" That is so a Midwestern saying. Since Batman is obviously lying, Superman takes a drastic measure.

Superman didn't do this to save the world. He just did it because he's fucking sick of Batman.

Before you start sucking your own dicks (both figurative and literal ones so that all genders are included!) everybody at Marvel thinking DC has just flushed itself down the drain by killing the only one of their characters anybody really cares about, it turns out it wasn't actually Batman. Superman just killed Clayface. Although Clayface can't really die, I don't think. He's like an Oompa Loompa: immortal and weary of life. Meanwhile in Antarctica (unless it's actually the Arctic, seeing as how DC has had some poor history with keeping the two places straight), the Legion of Doom's headquarters rises from a lava pit. The Legion of Doom is currently staffed by all of DC's immortal characters. There's Vandal Savage and The Phantom Stranger and the other immortal guy and that other one plus the one that's immortal and also Cain and Abel and Lady Blackhawk and Morgaine le Fey and Shazam's wizard and all the other ones I can't think of. Their plan is to shoot the astral brain of the Anti-Monitor through the Rock of Eternity and into the core of the Multiverse. I don't know if that will save the world or it's just something they want to do for the lulz. Superman and Wonder Woman finally track the real Batman to the tomb of Prince Khufu. Just before they get there, Dream gives Batman a little advice about how to find his way home when this shit all goes wrong. And it all goes wrong pretty quickly. After Batman pulls Baby Darkseid out of his backpack and threatens Superman with it, I think, "Wait. What?" Um, anyway, it's all a trap! Batman knows everything except where to find the tomb of Khufu because he actually entered the tomb of Hath Set! I know, right? What an idiot! Now the Strigydae are about to mantle the fuck out of him! It's not as confusing as I make it sound, I assure you! I mean, sure, the Court of Owls shows up and some black squiggles take out Superman and Wonder Woman after which the Court pours a substance called Batmanium all over Batman so that the doorway can open for Barbatos. But that's not technically confusing! It's just, um, ridiculous! Batman turns into a cosmic doorway through which steop out eight Dark Batmonsters. One is Aquabat. One is Doomsbat. One is Cybat. One is Wonder Bat. One is Flashbat. One is Green Lanterbat. One is Jokerbat. And the last one is probably BarBATos. Unless he's The Phantom Strangebat. In other words, the Earth is fucked. Because if the Justice League can't even beat one Batman, how are they going to beat however many I just said stepped through the gate? What was it? Seven? Eight? So that's the story of Metal! I bet you all wet your pants over it like I did, right? I mean, I think I just wet my pants because I took too long writing this and didn't get up to go to the bathroom. But I probably would have from the excitement and intrigue and Batman's ultimate failure! That part was really great! ________________________________________________________ ¹I didn't just make that up. See whichever stupid issue of All Star Batman had that bit in it.

#Batman #Dark Nights #Metal #DC Comics #Scott Snyder #Greg Capullo #Jonathan Glapion #Fco Plascencia

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dropsofletters · 7 years

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Golden Prince

Title: golden prince

Pairing: Lee Taemin/Reader

Summary: Taemin always lived seen by others, living to the expectations of the king and by the rules of the queen. His curiousness got him closer to what he thought was heaven, but oh, Taemin doesn’t know hell yet.

Chapter I/Chapter II/Chapter III/Chapter IV/Chapter V/Chapter VI

A guttural groan leaves his lips when he hears a knock on the door, his arms positioning themselves over his eyes as he tries to cover the light that came from the window, opened slightly and moving the covers over his body. However, it’s not exactly the wind that uncovers him from the warmth of the silky cloth; instead, it’s someone sitting up abruptly as Taemin groans once again. His eyes open, blinking once or twice to get the sleep out of them as he turns to look at her, a smile drawn on his face immediately until he hears that knocking on her door once again and Taemin’s heart almost stops. Getting caught? Never.

“Hey, open the door, I brought you breakfast.” The sound of a male’s voice fills up the room and she stands up from her bed immediately, her feet that were caught on the covers almost making her trip but she catches her balance, taking Taemin by the arm as she lets a string of curses go past her beautiful lips. Taemin felt like he drank one, two or even a hundred cups of coffee just from hearing the knock on the door.

“Shit, it’s Jongin.” Taemin frowns when he hears that name, utterly confused as to why she was so scared -but he understands that much more than the fact of said Jongin making her so nervous-. She opens the window even wider before looking out, seeing if anyone was around before turning towards Taemin. “I need you to get out, is it alright?”

“Sure.” The blond answers but their conversation is cut off when another knock on the door has the two of them jumping, and Taemin immediately reaches for the ladder that was nearby before trying to throw it out the window and hang it so he could climb down, but the voice of the what-so-called-and-suspicious Jongin startles the two of them once again.

“You know I can hear you talking with someone, right?” A small ‘fuck’ leaves her lips and Taemin closes his eyes. Surely, he pretended to be reckless and having no fear of getting caught doing these wrong actions, but if someone ever dared to know that he was seeing a girl, a citizen, then he was dead. “If you dare to get that guy out your window, then I’ll tell your father.”

“Jongin-!” She whines but he cuts her off.

“What’s so embarrassing about you getting laid?” At this point, Taemin almost wants to laugh and from the widened look on her eyes and the ‘o’ that her lips shaped was hilarious, but he stopped laughing immediately when she reached for the door, unlocking it slowly before opening it widely. They were doomed.

The man that enters the room has Taemin frowning even deeper, because a part of himself hoped that it was this cute little boy that had a small crush on her, but it was a quite tall and charming boy. Deep features, the first one being his eyes and his tan skin as he looks at her with a smile, ruffling her hair as he teases her with a few words that Taemin doesn’t quite get before his eyes settle on the man in front of him, the prince and soon to be king of the land, to be exact. Jongin seemed to take notice of the prince quickly, stopping on his tracks as he gasps, backing away immediately as he almost falls on her arms, looking at the two of them with widened eyes as he tries to understand the situation, but it was quite difficult when your friend was probably sleeping with the prince of the country, which was actually quite handsome and rich, if he might add.

“Tell me you have a kink for prince-like boys and this is all a dream, please.” Jongin says as he looks back at her, a hopeful smile on his face but she shakes her head, biting her bottom lip as she points towards the bed, but Jongin doesn’t seem to understand, so she has to drag him there so he can sit and take a breather, but he still had his eyes glued on Taemin. The prince rubs the back of his neck, letting out a small sigh as he stands next to her. “A-Are you the golden prince?”

That damned nickname. “The one and only.” Taemin answers and that makes Jongin gasp once again, placing a hand over his mouth and Taemin can’t help but roll his eyes. God, he was getting tired of the same expressions when people discovered who he was. The blond leans over to her before whispering to her ear, bitterness lingering with every syllable. “You didn’t tell me you had a boyfriend.”

“Jongin? My boyfriend?” She asks before she huffs, looking over at Jongin as she shakes her head vigorously. “He’s just the fruit delivery guy, but he so happened to become my friend throughout time.”

“Don’t worry; your majesty.” Jongin says as he stands up, bowing slightly to Taemin and the man shakes his head, placing one of his hands over Jongin’s hair as he sighs.

“Don’t do…that.” Taemin groans before he stops touching Jongin and runs his hands through his own golden locks. “Listen, I’m not here for what you think. We are friends as well, and I happen to visit her from time to time and-”

“You are friends with royalty?!” Jongin asks her, completely interrupting Taemin before turning towards her, his eyes widened as he looks around the place. “I feel like I barely know you now.” Taemin doesn’t really dislike the man, but he did dislike the attention he was getting. What he liked the most of being around her was that he was never the golden prince, he didn’t wear diamond rings or he wasn’t his future marriage, he was just another…human, like you, like me, like everyone else. Taemin became nothing more than mere dust in the eyes of the public, but when her smile appeared on her face, he felt like he could have it and do it all.

“Don’t exaggerate-”

“I am just really, really confused.” Jongin states and she lets out a sigh, opening her door lightly before looking at the hallway, then she closes the door once again and leans against it. What could she do at this point? “Alright,” Both the prince and she look over at Jongin, who had taken his time in playing with the sleeve of his pink sweater before smiling quite shyly. “I can help you get out of here.”

“Indeed, you can.” She says before crossing her arms over her chest, rubbing her hands over her arms to get some kind of warmth that was long gone in the cold morning. “But I have news for you. You will help us, you have no choice.” Jongin scratches his forehead before nodding his head, opening the door to her bedroom before she looks back at Taemin, who only gives her a glare from the corner of his eye as he sees her smile knowingly, placing one of her hands soothingly over his arm as she tries to calm his nerves. Taemin only delivers another smile, looking up and down her features before they hear a voice interrupting them.

“Let’s go.”

Taemin doesn’t know what to do, much more when he’s walking on his tiptoes to keep her family from knowing he was there. Jongin seemed like a nice man, waiting until Taemin put his mask over his face as they walked through the streets. Taemin felt the need to run, like he always did, but he knew that it would look suspicious in the blinding light of the morning. She just placed her hand on his back, pushing him forward lightly as she greeted warmly those who casted a glance at her. That’s the moment Taemin realizes that he could easily be known everywhere, but there were people like her that were known as well and changed people’s lives little by little with her smiles.

You didn’t need to be part of the royalty to change the world.

He needs soft love, the type that resembles covers in late Sunday winter nights or that one that was like the wind against the waves at the beach on your favorite summer day. Yet, he’s sure he won’t find that type of love as lives in that damned castle. If anything, he won’t find it if he ever marries that person that his parents seem to love so much. That woman that didn’t even make him feel…like he was human as well. His black hair moved with the wind as he gets closer to his nightmare and he feels something pushing inside his heart, as if he didn’t want to let go, as if the night before was the best night of his life. Indeed, it must’ve been and even if he doesn’t want to accept it, he needs her for support.

“Don’t mind me,” Jongin starts as he settles his gaze over the two of them, seeing the stars in Taemin’s eyes and the flowers appearing on her lips as she bit on them lightly when she looked at him. There was something between the two. “But…what are you two exactly?”

“Huh?” Taemin asks softly and he rubs the back of his neck. All his life he had practiced to answer the questions of millions of interviewers and citizens that needed answers from him, but for the first time in all his lifetime he didn’t have anything to say; his tongue was tied, his lips were sealed and he felt a small blush creeping on his features, as if it wasn’t enough to have him embarrassed from his lack of response.

“Nothing.” She answers simply as she places one of her hands over Jongin’s mouth, but Taemin can notice the nervousness in every single one of her movements, and that makes him chuckle softly to himself. “Stop nosing around, Jongin.” Nothing, the word seemed to hide much meaning and it seemed to hurt her to say those words. If only Taemin could say that nothing would be a lie, since there’s everything between them.

“But-”

“I said stop it!”

Taemin laughs lightly until his feet make him stop, noticing the big walls in front of him that shined with a golden color. Those walls that kept him from a reality that could be so much sweeter than the lie he lived in, the lie he told everyone to keep himself from looking imperfect. He rolls his eyes as he lets out a sigh; only a step inside and he wasn’t going to hear the end of it from Minho, and most likely from Kibum who wanted his friends’ safety over everything. He turns on his heels as he looks at her, placing one of his hands in between her hair to push it back lightly, earning a small smile from the beautiful girl in front of him. She wasn’t beautiful for her big rings or even bigger dresses, full of pearls and diamonds; she was beautiful for her easiness when talking, or for her casual manners, as well as the smile she gave only to him…or so, he likes to think.

He will always go first to her.

“Go.” She whispers and Taemin shakes his head quickly, rubbing circles over her cheeks and he can see the embarrassment on her movements, which he adores so much. “Taemin-”

“Sh, shut up for a minute.” Taemin murmurs before pulling his mask down, placing a quick kiss to her lips before letting out a soft smile, more like a giggle as he feels her squirming a bit, but she can’t help but continue the kiss. Slowly, really slowly, the two of them become a single soul, fueled by the edginess of their love, soaked in the dripping of the moonlight that was long gone with the sun. Taemin pulls his mask up once again, ruffling her hair before bowing towards her friend, making him shake his head but Taemin turns his back before he could hear the complaints of ‘but you’re a prince-!’ A sigh leaves his lips as he walks slowly towards the entrance, hiding slightly before entering as if nothing happened.

It was midnight when Taemin was whistling lightly, walking towards his room as he ran his hands through his hair, glad that he could take off his suit and wear his comfortable pajamas. He smiles softly to the staff that was still walking around to prepare yet another meeting with the citizens and Taemin opens the door to his room, expecting the golden covers to welcome him as he looked at the moon outside his room. Yet, his body stiffens when he notices the person that was sitting on his bed. He expected to see her, lost in the deep sleep that was the sound of her voice, but he sees a pair of eyes that looked much like his looking back at him. The king.

Perhaps, he listens to what his mind is saying and he closes the door behind him, not fighting to show his frown as he looks at his father. The man didn’t seem happy, the same frown over his face but harsher, his lips puckered up slightly as he stands up, looking at Taemin straight in the eyes before clicking her tongue.

“You were always a disgraceful little bitch.” He says before turning his back, looking out the window as a low chuckle leaves his lips. Taemin flinches at the words, feeling his pride burning with a little bit of hurt. “We gave you everything, even a whole country, Taemin.” His words are sharp like broken glass as he turns towards his son, tilting his head to the right. “But you go out and find some citizen outside and start escaping the castle just to meet her?” The knot on Taemin’s throat tightens as he hears those words and he takes a step forward.

“Father-” He starts, but he’s cut off by the strong voice that the king had.

This time, he hears his father walking towards the door, his steps heavier by the wood that was under him. “I don’t care if you feel like you’re young and reckless.” He starts, placing his hand over the doorknob as he speaks. “I don’t care if you love whoever…peasant that you found out there.” Taemin swallows the knot on his throat before opening his mouth to say something, but he’s interrupted once again. “You’re getting married, you’re following my rules and I won’t let you take my hard work to waste, Taemin.” Those words are the last thing he hears before the door is closed loudly behind his father, who had left at that time. Taemin leans back against the bed as he lets his body plop down, placing his hands over his eyes as he feels tears threatening to appear quickly.

He doesn’t think he can go back to his misery now.

#shinee scenarios #taemin scenarios #shinee #taemin #kpop scenarios #shinee fanfic #taemin fanfic #golden prince #writing

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thetragicescape · 7 years

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I know no one asked for it buttttttt

This is my blog and I feel like venting. So here we go. More spun thoughts. I feel... hmm. I feel bittersweet. I miss my old roommate. She is honestly not a friend to me, she's a sister. That's how close we were. We hung out 24/7 during our freshman and sophomore years of college. Well, the half of sophomore year before I left. We knew everything about each other and made so many unforgettable memories. Her friendship has been invaluable to me, and we spent so much time together that she was more family than my blood family. She did have strong opinions about certain things, and that's why I hid my drug addiction from her. Her twin sister is addicted to the same drug. I constantly heard her talking shit on not just her sister but meth addicts in general. She was always saying how nasty it was and how bad tweakers were and stuff. I stayed silent the whole time or joined in on her shit talking to cover my ass, never wanting her to know that I was the very thing she despised. I thought that if she knew she would be angry, yell at me or say horrible things to me, or- worst of all- stop being my friend. And I absolutely could not lose her; she was a sister to me. I was confident that I could hide it well enough that she would never need to know, but we can't all be so lucky. The day before I left school, my ex (the one who would rob me the next day) ratted me out to her. I was both furious with him and scared that I was going to lose one of the best friends I ever had. What happened next was miraculous. Something I never would have expected in a million years. She didn't hate me, she didn't stop being my friend, didn't even say one rude word or remark. She was a little upset that I had hidden it from her for so long, but once I explained that it was because I valued our friendship so much and was terrified to lose her she seemed to understand. She even gave me a hug! I was so touched I was near the edge of tears- she knew the worst thing about me, that I was addicted to meth, yet she loved me all the same and was still like my sister. I was about 90 percent sure she would hate me for this, yet she accepted me fully for who I was, faults and all, when for so long I was terrified she would hate me if she knew. I only felt luckier by the second that she had reacted completely opposite of what I thought and that I had her. That night was the last time I saw her. I left college to run away with my ex, he ended up robbing me and my amazing best friend and his wife took me in and let me stay with them. I think of her a lot every day though and miss her. I felt bad leaving her alone there cause we were all each other had. At the time though I thought she would be okay. I mean, for as long as I've known her ive been secretly jealous as fuck of her. She was perfect in every way, and I wish I could say I was exaggerating. She was seriously perfect and I wanted to be her so bad. Honest to god I still do, and if you knew her you'd wanna be her too. She's skinny and absolutely drop dead gorgeous, not to mention amazing with make up. Guys were practically tripping over themselves for a chance to get at her when I was lucky if a guy so much as glanced my way. Getting love or sex or any male attention to her was as effortless as breathing. That wasn't even what I was the most jealous of though. I envy the fuck out of her magic social powers. I can think of another way to put it. It has to be magic cuz I sure as hell couldn't do it. She has some insane power of getting people to take interest in her without trying, and friends flock to her like a moth to a flame. Especially in her home town (when I went to visit her over the summer)- she was popular as fuck. Without even trying, she had more friends than she knew what to do with. All my life id been a near complete loner and desperate for friends, for connections and relationships. No matter what I did, my peers still hated me and I remained a loner. I went straight home every day after school and didn't leave my room cause I had no friends. She, on the other hand, never had to be lonely for a single second- hell, I didn't think she even knew what loneliness MEANT! Without even trying, she had what id wanted so desperately all my life- tons of friends, no loneliness, popularity and guys drooling over her. Over breaks when we went home, shed be having a total blast partying with tons of different people, while I sat alone in my room on the verge of tears because I was so damn lonely and wanted so bad just to have someone to hang out with. Sometimes it was hard not to snap out of pure envy- once she complained to me that she got invited to too many parties. Inside me I was ripping my hair out- like why the fuck are you complaining?! Hers was a "problem" I could only dream of having. Of course if she asked I said I hung out with friends over break because I was embarrassed to let her know how truly pathetic I was. I felt for so long that something was wrong with me and I didn't fit in with humanity because I was so fucking lonely, but she could get everyone in the world to be her friend by fuckin blinking at them. Also her parents were incredibly chill and not strict or controlling at all, the exact opposite of my dad. They cared about her, more than just her grades, they brought her self esteem up instead of crushing it, and they talked to her as an equal human. Which I couldnt pay my dad to do; to this day he talks to me as though Im an idiotic young child or an extension of himself. Never an equal. Hell, I was jealous of her for having grown up with her mom still alive- I lost mine when I was 7. Anyway. At school we hung out only with each other, so I felt very close to her. We tried many times to make friends with other people at the school, but everyone at that school was an ultra religious Jesus freak prude, so not our usual type. Still we tried. We learned pretty early on that people didn't like us for some reason. They got weirded out by us after hanging out with us once or twice and then magically disappeared, never talking to us again. Now i dont know if this is just a paranoid tweaky thought, but I think the word "us" isnt exactly accurate when placing the blame on why nobody wanted to hang out with us. I think the us is actually me. I was what chased everyone away. She has such an incredible talent at making friends that there was no way they didn't like her. I was what they didn't like, and I was always hanging out with her, so if they were chilling with her they were chilling with me. I dont know what about me did it- I seemed to have the opposite abilities of what she did. I suspected that I was the reason since last year, but what's happened in the last couple weeks only makes me think more and more that I was the reason we were so lonely. Since I have left the school, she has instantly made a whole group of friends. She's getting a house with them her senior year and everything. Without me to get in the way, her natural charms were uninterrupted and she found friends almost instantaneously. Nothing like that ever happened when I was around her. Im really happy that she has moved on and found friends so she Wont be lonely, on the other hand it made me sad she moved on so fast. I know that's not fair of me- I cant just expect her to never chill with anyone ever again because I was gone- but still i feel it. That tiny heart ache. Im quite replaceable I think, and Im glad she found her people and not loneliness. I mean it with all my heart, I want her to be happy because she deserved it. Ive experienced more than my fair share of loneliness and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. But love is about appreciation not possession, and what matters is she is happy and has people to support and love her, whether i am included in that or not. Just like you trim weeds to make the garden flourish, my absence has helped her become the socialite she always wad again. I am sad that we are separated (and honestly jealous of her ability to attract people to her without conscious effort) but happy that she is happy. She's quickly moved on and Im sure that in time she will forget me completely. The thought hurts but I need to accept that it might be a possibility. I chased friends away from us, why would she want to remember that. I miss her to death but without my weirdness chasing her social life off, she is much better off. She's in her element again, a social butterfly spreading her wings and flying out into the world. I wish I knew her secret on getting people to want to be her friend or boyfriend or whatever , but ill just have to accept I never will. Even she doesnt know, its an instinct to her. I never was lucky enough to have that gift but oh well. That's life. It is what it is. I really hope that this is just the drugs and the paranoia talkin, that it wasnt my fault we had no friends and she also played a part in chasing them away. I hope with all my heart it isnt true, but deep in my heart I worry that it is. I guess ill never know the truth and Im honestly kind of glad, cause Im not sure I could stand to hear it if it had been my fault. I accept that ill never know. I still miss her though. Even if she forgets my name, ill remember her and her friendship and cherish the memories we made for my whole life. If she wants to continue being my friend, which there's a decent chance of because she still hits me up on Facebook occasionally to check on me, I will be ecstatic. Shes like my sister that came out of a different vagina 😂😂😂. Whatever choice she makes is hers though and I will have to accept it no matter what. Her happiness means so much to me that if she slowly forgot about me, id know at least she is doing well, uninhibited by my weirdness and free to put her social talents to use again. If our friendship does end (which is painful to think) I will hold onto the good times. Ill try not to cry because its over but smile because it happened. I would appreciate that I had such a close bond with her that saying goodbye was sk hard. If saying bye is hard you know it was a good friendship and a blessing that I had it..... Okay, rant over Holy fuck I sound like a weirdo. Tina makes me rambly. Then again this was so long Im sure most of u got bored and didbt make it all the way to the end 😂 I dont blame you its pretty long. This is probably mostly for me to read when I sober up and laugh at myself. If you did stick thru to the end, thanks ❤ weird tweaky rant over!!

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nanasarea · 4 years

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Sucker I xx (finale)

Prompt: Y/N attends a school for the supernatural, specifically: werewolves, witches and vampires. The school might be magic, but so is love, right? Right?

Genre: angst, fluff

Pairing: reader x 00 line (haechan special)

Inspired heavily by: Legacies (and The Vampire Diaries&The Originals)

a/n: OG endgame let’s go

main m.list / sucker m.list / i ii iii iv v vi vii viii ix x xi xii xiii xiv xv xvi xvii xviii xix xx

xx (jeno)

xx (jaemin)

xx (haechan)

xx (renjun)

“Mr Hwang?” Hana asked.

“I prefer Richard.” He answered, smiling.

“I thought she was dead.” You said, looking at the girl on his right.

“She was but then I got her turned.” Mr. Hwang, or should you say Richard said. With that, the events started playing in your head again.

They were all right. Jeno, Jaemin, Renjun.

Richard wanted to kill all werewolves and you were one, so why were you helping him? Besides, you weren’t responsible for anyone’s death, she died because she was sent to be killed by you.

There was no reason to feel guilty, no reason for your humanity to be turned off but most importantly, no reason why the whole werewolves race had to die. And at the end of the day, anybody capable of love, is capable of being saved. True love will triumph in the end - which may or may not be a lie, but if it is a lie, then it's the most beautiful lie we have.

“Weren’t werewolves around before vampires?” You asked “Y/N-” “They’re right. If you want all werewolves gone, you’re gonna have to get rid of me too, so why should I help you?” You asked.

“There’s no reason to get rid of them, the only one here we need to get rid of is you.” You added.

“Aww, so sweet, but that won’t stop me.” Richard said, rolling his eyes. “I can end you all if I wanted to.” He added.

“Besides, who can stop me? Actually?” He asked.

“Another vampire?” he asked, looking at Chenle.

“A werewolf?” He asked, looking at Jisung.

“Possibly a witch?” he asked, looking at Renjun.

“Why not all three?” You asked, using your super speed to take the dagger from one of the shelves and tried to stab him with it, but Haechan’s hand stopped you.

“Haechan, you don’t have to do this.” You said.

“Y/N, I’m filled with dark magic, he promised to help, you don’t understand.” he said and that’s when you saw the tears.

He was filled with dark magic, but not on purpose. He might have a little evil in him, but its not like he wanted it. He was hurting, he truly was. He wanted to be free of the darkness in him and Richard promised him just that. Freedom from the darkness. From the dark magic.

“Haechan, there is another way! We can help you. Remember what the prophesy said? There’s still a way to help you, help everyone. Not only help, but also save you and everyone.” You said.

“Anybody capable of love, is capable of being saved. True love will triumph in the end - which may or may not be a lie, but if it is a lie, then it's the most beautiful lie we have, remember?” You added and once you looked him, actually looked at him, you knew.

You know that the true love in question was yours and Haechan’s. Why else would Haechan be exposed to dark magic by Richard? Why else would Richard tell him that he can help after he embraced his dark side?

It all made sense now.

“True love?” He asked, which is when your eyes started tearing up. You finally made eye contact and knew for sure that you needed to do something, so you did. You held onto his hand which was still on your wrist.

“Yes, true love.” You answered and pulled him closer into a kiss.

As you shared the kiss, he could feel the darkness leave his body, which only made him melt into the kiss more.

“Oh for fuck’s sa-” And with that, you broke the kiss and enchanted the dagger to fly towards Richard and stab him.

You knew you couldn’t actually kill him anyway, and it’s not like he was dead either, he could come back to life if you pulled the dagger out.

You pulled away and stared at each other for a solid second before happily laughing, the tears blurring both of your vision. Once you successfully took him down, you went and got the werewolves out of the gym.

And with that, the events of that day are still a blur, not only to you, but to the others.

Later on, you found out the girl was actually being compelled by Richard. You also found out that she was actually really nice and that her name was Hyejoo, but she went by Olivia.

As for you and Haechan, you were completely in love with one another. Sure, you were kinda together before, but both of you weren’t your true selves, you were wrapped up in the darkness, so all the kisses before weren’t real kisses, but the one that day? it was the first real one, when you were yourselves.

“I can’t believe I was so stupid when I could have just told you how I felt and none of this would have happened.” Haechan commented.

“We could have been doing this long ago.” He added as he held you a bit closer as you watched the stars from the coziness of the tree house.

“You’re right, you were stupid.” You said, laughing “Shut up, I’m just a good friend who didn’t want to hurt my friends” He said, defending himself.

“Aww, such a kind soul.” You said, laughing as you snuggled closer to him “Besides, the prophesy ended up being true, didn’t it?” You asked.

“Yeah, and I guess true love’s kiss truly does save the day.” He answered as he put a finger under your chin to move your head towards him so he could have easier access to your lips.

True love will triumph in the end and maybe, platonic love like Jaemin’s love for Jeno, family love like Minsoo’s love for Jisoo, romantic love like your love for haechan, maybe, just maybe, all types of love save the day at the end, because even if this school is magic, so is love, right?

a/n: and that’s a wrap! Sucker is officially done, this is the last part that will be released! I’m so happy and thankful for those of you who have stuck this far, from beginning to end and I hope you enjoyed it! This was the OG ending probably since Haechan was my first option for endgame, but as we all know now, everyone is technically endgame haha. Thank you so much and I hope you enjoyed!

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hornetdiaries · 6 years

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Clinical Trials

Medically speaking I’m pretty smart. I may not know how taxes work, why cars need gas, or how to change the time on a watch I’ve owned for over four years, but if you need someone to spell duodenojejunostomy I’m your gal. That being said, the hardest part of third year nursing is working in the clinical setting. Suddenly the safe baby proof embrace of the classroom is forsaken for the desolate septic wasteland of hemorrhages, urine outputs, and trying to read physician's handwritten notes.

For eight hours we do our best to be of service to the nurses we shadow while hunting down every patient willing to let us start an IV, and somewhere in between chart on three different platforms the entirely same information in a way that is sparkling with SBAR perfection. Because apparently having to document every two hours that the patient’s language is still English is the most important thing to do with my time.

My first unit was the OB portion of clinical, which means that people will hand me the most important thing in their life that’s so only hours brand new, and have the utmost faith that I completely know what I’m doing. I’ve never held a baby before in my life. The last time there was an infant even in my proximity was when I was the infant.

Nevertheless, I soon grew to love the happy halls that always smelled clean and were filled with new parents who just wanted to coo with you all about the last few burps their new bundle of happiness had, all while you keep the pain pills coming right on schedule. It doesn’t take long to get the hang of putting on a bright smile and nodding along to their stories while casually searching for the uterus and making sure they don’t spontaneously hemorrhage and die in their sleep.

My first time on the mother-baby unit was a lovely time of breezing through meds and washing babies. I was with a fairly fresh nurse, we can call Becky, who was not expecting to come in and work a twelve hour shift with a student in tow, but was attempting to be cheerful about it all the same. Nearing the end of my eight hours, Becky and I were walking across the unit to deliver a pain med to one of patients. That’s when the nurse sitting at the nurses station stopped us.

“Becky” she called in her deep southern to the bone accent, “I need your help a minute. I have to run to my car and get something real fast, can you watch the station while I’m gone? You and Rachel are the only nurses on the floor right now and she’s busy doing a dressing change”

“I don’t really know how to work the computer” Becky muttered, already walking to the door and entering the glass paned station anyways. I followed close behind, wondering why we couldn’t do the med pass first and then come back.

“Don’t worry, I’ll only be gone three minutes, ain’t nobody gonna call” and sure enough as soon as Becky sat down in the worn swivel chair, southern nurse was already halfway down the stairwell. I didn’t think much of it, seeing as how there were maybe eight patients on the floor and the entire day had been an easy ride without so much as a spike in blood pressure.

Becky and I get to chatting about the sort of fast paced topical conversation that you get to have with a stranger of eight hours you’ve been forced to share every minute with, all while staring at the vitals chart on the wall. It’s the most nerve racking TV show, the black screen of patient numbers and values of their wellbeing displayed, every rise and fall eating away at the back of your mind. That’s why I almost couldn’t believe it when I saw the SPO2 start falling from the low nineties to the eighties. Oxygen saturation should be mid nineties to a hundred. I’ve seen it drop to sixties as a patient gasped for air through a wad of mucus clogging their throat, but to watch it spiral down the drain into the eighties and then seventies, setting off alarms as it went, was like watching a plane slowly crash into the ground before you.

“Becky, I think we need to check on that patient” she turned around to watch the monitor I was watching wide eyed.

“It’s probably fine…” the expression on her face changed like someone had wiped over it hard with a rough rag, “actually, you hang onto this, I’ll be right back” she hands me the tiny cup containing our med, and before I can even argue the out of place protocol, she’s gone. Now I’m completely alone at the nursing station and the only two nurses on our side of the ward are indisposed. I really honest to god thought that would be the end of it. I one hundred percent believed that it would end there, that life was not so dramatic as to wait for this exact moment to hit the fan.

That’s when a new alarm went off. This one on the computer screen before me, showing one room beeping in red. I couldn’t understand what it was supposed to be reporting, it wasn’t even that close to us. But on and off it beeped, quiet at first but then getting louder and louder. It was such an odd tone too, making me lean close to the monitor to try and hear it. That’s when I realized, it wasn’t from the computer, it was ringing through the hallway. It was getting louder before it quickly took over the alarms on our side, accompanied by a harsh electronic screech that came from all the elevators.

The phone rang and I wanted to vomit. Letting it ring three times before working up the courage to touch it, I answered with the most useless student voice possible,

“Hello?”

“GET…..ELEVATOR CODES… SOUTH…. FIRST FLOOR… CODES” the static cut through the voice of a woman yelling into her phone, huffing and seemingly out of breath.

“Uh, who is this?”

“MELISSA” who the fuck is Melissa? Why did I even ask? “GET ME THE ELEVATOR CODE”

“I’m sorry, I don’t know the code”

“ALARM… CODES” I drew a blank and did the only thing I could think of. I slammed the phone down hard on the receiver. My best plan ever? No, not in the slightest.

Custodians and volunteers gave me weird glances as they walked by, a couple of them asking what was going on and why the elevators were all shut down. I told them that we were working on getting the codes and they’d stop screaming soon. The screaming was getting louder.

Like a fool, I felt a wave of relief hit me as Becky came rushing back into the station.

“Oh thank god, I don’t know what this is doing” pushing myself away from the console I let her lean in and inspect it.

“It looks like a baby alarm was set off” she said squinting and clicking uselessly at the mouse.

“What kind of an alarm?”

“It’s for child abductions. Looks like it’s shut down all the elevators and send out the code for this”

“What do we do?” she pursed her lips, clicking every which way and retreating every time something popped up, asking for a passcode, effectively putting us back at square one every time with the map of the floor showing all the points that were automatically locking themselves down.

“Hey you wanna do me a favor? Can you go to this room and see if the baby’s there?” I looked at this woman like she just peed on my face. She wanted me, someone with the physical prowess of an angry wet kitten, to go fight off a possible child abduction. The last time I was in any kind of altercation was when my black belt cousin beat me up for fun. The last time I was given any kind of combat training was when my paramedic teacher made us practice stabbing each other with fake knives in the parking lot. I wasn’t going to stop anybody from taking anything. Hell I’d probably pack them a bag to get themselves started with their new life as a fugitive family.

“Sure” I smiled, slightly shaking my head ‘no’. Like the compliant idiot I am, I hurried myself down into the maze of the ward and found my room without much ado. Awkwardly I stood outside the door, wondering what to do. What do you even say? “Hey are you guys kidnapping a baby? Okay no, awesome!” I knocked once and then pushed the door open, deciding that if I was abducting a child I wasn’t going to open the door, and I didn’t have time to waste.

Inside the room, hunched over an infant in a little tub, was the most pissed off nurse I’d ever seen, surrounded by two weirded out parents, and one of my classmates who gave me a little wave. I didn’t know what to do as they all stared at me.

“Is that a baby?” of all the things I could have said, that really wasn’t so bad. But it was still pretty bad.

“What do you need?” the nurse snapped, still cradling the dripping newborn who sat next to the alarm bracelet that was causing all my trouble.

“Uh, alarms are going off”

“Just give me an adjust”

“Okay great!” and I slammed that door shut and got the hell out.

Feeling rather accomplished, even in the face of raw embarrassment, I marched myself up to the nurses station where Becky sat.

“Did you find it?” she asked, having made no progress in turning off any of the alarms.

“Yeah, the nurse said to ‘give her an adjust’” Becky blinked at me as we shared a weighted moment of silence.

“...What does that mean?”

“I THOUGHT YOU KNEW!” before I can inappropriately yell at my nurse once more, the emergency exit stairwell bursts open and in stomps the most out of breath and out of patience nurse I’d ever seen in my life. I took a fast guess and figured this was Melissa.

“Out” she snapped at Becky who was already up and away from the console like it had caught fire. I came around the other side of the station to see my clinical instructor come around and B line for me, a group of nurses all looking extremely pissed off following close behind and hovering around Melissa who furiously started typing all the passcodes into the computer, turning off each individual elevator alarm one by one.

Deep southern nurse came over to Becky and I, not looking as guilty as I felt like she should have been.

“Where were you all?” Becky’s voice full of stress.

“The code shut off all the elevators for the floor! We were all on the ground floor and had to come up the stairs to get to the fourth floor. It paged all the nurses that there was an abduction so we all came running. Melissa tried to call but said it failed in the stairwell” I took this as my cue to begin explaining everything to my professor who mostly shrugged and laughed it off, because my school is cool like that.

Later we would go on to eventually passing that med, and I’d regroup with my classmates that would fill me in on all their versions of the events to transpire. But ultimately I’d come to realize there’s probably some deeper lesson about being competent in one aspect of life doesn’t mean shit if you can’t be a well rounded person. Also after two summers of office work apparently I still can’t answer a phone.

#hornet diaries #junior year

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jennblosil-blog · 7 years

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Insert some caption here about heartache and loss and trying to run away from the “problem” aka BOY only to find yourself in the same house as said boy because he is dating girl (aka roommate) and you get to fall asleep all alone in a giant bed...alone... did I mention alone? with the sounds of their glee-filled conversations floating in from the other room...

I could have used the words “ bed” and “voices” but it was also sounding far too racy and I didn’t want it to come across as anything that it wasn’t...? Isn’t? You see, we’re all good little Christians - which really, is just a way of saying: we’re just people striving to be our best and highest and purest selves, strictly for our own sake and we are, in all the ways, just imperfect people seeking to access the divine within and YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAAAAAAH- (to be more precise- we’re members of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, just in case you really wanted a mouthful of words to say-- ahahahah. I think part of the difficulty in letting people know what church I belong to -- I paused at the phrasing of that, because somehow it feels so stoic and inhumane to me? to simply “belong to a church” since we’re all God’s children, yeah? And we’re all doing our best to understand the light within us, yeah? And I find joy in associating myself with people who- ANYWAY- IDK HOW TO SAY IT IN A LESS STOIC WAY THAN: I belong to the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LOVE that I do- come check it out?) BUT ALSO- it’s really a lot to say in one breath. Try saying it out-loud- IT’S A LOT and I feel like people get bored by like, word five? Like, they’re already zoning out as soon as I get to “I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of---” gone. They’re gone. And then I go into: “some people know us as Mormons?” And they’re like, Ohhhh YEAHhh-- and then don’t really know how to react, because that word is so loaded, I suppose? But then, someone somewhere gave us that nickname “Mormon” but we’ll subscribe to it, but it’s tricky because it’s important for people to know the ACTUAL name of the organization (church-- hello stoic-ness) we belong to, because for Heaven’s sake, people still wonder if we’re christian AND it doesn’t help when people only know us as mormon- AND YOU BET YOUR BOTTOM DOLLAR WE BELIEVE IN JESUS #praise #shoutouttomymainman #correctionOURmainman #OURmeaningMormon #orOURmeaninganyonewhowantstoshoutouttoJesus #madrespecttoeveryonenomatteryourreligiousaffiliation- anyway-

back to the previous thought // my title.... soooo, yeeeeeahhhh----- Do you know what it feels like to truly be SEEN? Isn’t it the most glorious wonderful feeling?

I forgot what that felt like.... until I talked to “boy”yesterday. Until I finally REALLY got to talk to “boy”. we’d see each other around, but nothing more than extremely awkward pleasantries were exchanged as I sat, quite motionless, nursing a broken heart, at a table full of lovely people I was having a really hard time connecting with. (this happened on multiple occasions...) So, here we finally were- boy and I. In my house where he had just come to with his girlfriend. Or actually, I had just come home to. And there he was- in the kitchen- ironing dress for girl as girl was upstairs getting ready. And just like that- we slipped into our usual easy manner of conversing and laughing and laughing and laughing and every other word is a smile and a laugh. And in the way that only “boy” knows how, i was feeling at home and at peace and so SO happy. I proceeded to show him some ironing tips, as the dress was really a pain to iron, and “girl” came downstairs to run through the evening’s plans. NOW READER- I NEEDA STOP THERE & LET YOU KNOW ABOUT GIRL: she is honestly an angel in every way. And just straight-up GOOD. And so beautiful. In every way. AND- I also want you to know: the only thing I feel in my heart is straight-up love for this angel human. Like, literally- tears are coming into my eyes as I type this. This human just embodies light and is so brilliant and generous and wonderful. So, no, i don’t hold resentment or secretly wish she would go fall off a cliff or whatever and what-have-you. I honestly feel like they are such a beautifully suited and well-matched and extraordinary power-couple.

But that still didn’t leave me from sitting confused in the kitchen... all-alone... They came back later that night as I was sitting and reading and playing the guitar and watching videos (you know, because I get bored after .5 seconds, so I kept rotating between the three in some way to really just feed the gnawing inside me for human companionship & physical touch from someone who loves me... YOU KNOW, FROM A BEAUTIFUL MAN... *sigh*.. hello brownies.... we meet again... *eats all the brownies in the pan, still isn’t satisfied...* dang...) ANYWAY- BACK TO MY SAD (ahahahah) LIFE:

boy and girl come home. Girl goes upstairs. I chat with boy while girl is decompressing//putting things away upstairs. And just like that, boy and I are busy talking and laughing and sharing ideas and “boy” is telling me things that he mentions are hard to understand, but as he’s explaining them, he realizes- or might I even say- he remembers, that OH YEAH, JENN UNDERSTANDS. OHHH YEEEEEAHHHH JENN UNDERSTANDS.

And it was all so beautiful and painful all at once.

And in that moment, I just truly felt SEEN. (aka, someone understands my MIND. somehow sees past the exterior of the flesh and goes DEEPER- and GETS IT and SEES IT- AND ALSOOO DOES see the exterior of flesh AND beholds and wonders at that, too-- but sees the SOUL. Sees possibly the spirit first and then just appreciates it ALLLL . Just ALLL the things. All the quirks and “weirdness” and “crooked-face-ness” and “crazy style choices-ness” and weirdly passionate about a lot of things-ness and the KINDNESS and the GOODNESS and the adventure-ness AND THE THINGS THAT JUST MAKE SOMEONE “THEM”, you know? the THEM of THEM. the THEY of THEY. the SHE of SHE. you know....)

And in that moment, for the first time in a looooong I just truly felt BEAUTIFUL. Just divine. Just perfectly BEAUTIFUL.

In that moment, I realized what all these past months of sadness and rejection and pain were telling me: I wasn’t being SEEN. I have been so desperately wanting to be SEEN by another human-- or really-- by a BOY.

And here I was with boy & for the first time in so long and that feeling of finally being SEEN came somehow creeping in (but in this beautiful and calming and peaceful and comforting way) and filling all the holes and the cracks and the hurt and I was so happy and content and H O M E. I just don’t know how else to describe it. Home.

And I just felt so confident that no matter what I did- if I changed the color of my hair, if I gained 50 pounds, if I broke a tooth, if I lost a leg, the list could go on & it wouldn’t matter--- because I knew I was SEEN. And I was LOVED for EXACTLY who I REALLY am.

I hope you all get to have the gift of experiencing what it’s like to be “seen”. I don’t know what other word to use here--- except, you know, as I’m really thinking about this, I guess the word is “love”. EXCEPT, even when I say that, I think... hmmm, but my mom loves me. My dad loves me. My friends love me. BUT THAT STILL DOESN’T MEAN THAT THEY “see” ME. You know? You feel?

-- Girl came back downstairs- boy and girl disappear together (don’t get any wild ideas- need I remind you, my lovely friends have incredibly high moral standards. IDK WHY I FEEL THE NEED TO KEEP CLARIFYING- maybe because in basically anything we read these days if it mentions anything about two people disappearing somewhere together, we immediately “KNOOOW” what they’re up to-- (as if it’s so common and normal and ‘cool???” SEE YA, WHAT IF THEY REALLY ARE JUST OFF FROLICKING IN A FIELD SOMEWHERE AND PICKING DAISIES, HUH?! WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO BE FRICKIN SEXUAL?!- also, side note, ive been saying the word ‘frickin’ a lot lately. Mostly because I think it’s funny. . . . . . ) WELL, that night I went to bed feeling equally parts beautiful and equally parts sad and equal parts just ... embarrassed? Is that the right word? Sheepish? STUPID?

I rejected this person. But I keep wondering if maybe something is wrong with me and I push people away or that I’m too much of a dreamer and that I just lost a really great opportunity.

Yet, even amongst these thoughts swirling in my head, I can’t give up on my soul’s dream-- to marry a reformed bad-boy British convert (to the faith I hold- remember when I said you should check it out? MWA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAA - uhhhmmm you should. Meet me there. Sunday. 1:00. IT RULES.) Anyway- we get to trust our feelings. To trust our hearts. To trust that we are making decisions based on deep feelings of “YEAH- THIS FEELS LIKE THE RIGHT THING TO DO.”

And then trust in yourself and trust in the fact that God is so aware of all that is happening and God delights in blessing you and making all your dreams come true. God wants your happiness. And by golly, if you made a decision because you truly and deep down felt like it was the right thing to do- BY JOVE, UNLESS IT IS WILDLY ACCEPTED AS STUPID AND MOST IMPORTANTLY YOU FEEL LIKE IT WAS A STUPID CHOICE, YOU GOTTA STICK WITH THAT DECISION AND RIDE IT OUT ‘TIL THE END, BABY.

So,

That’s how or why I’m not going to bed a ***complete*** ball of tears tonight.

(And if you’re wondering--- WOW, WHY THE HECK DON’T YOU MOVE OUTTA THERE?! THAT SOUNDS LIKE A NIGHTMARE!!!! Like, yeah, kinda is? But honestly - when I think of a different place to live or stay, MY MIND JUST STRAIGHT-UP GOES BLANK AND I CAN’T THINK OF A PLACE THAT FEELS RIGHT OR GOOD TO GO TO.

So, I guess this is a really great way to expedite the healing process and reaaaallly get over this person and situation like, PRONTO. Life- AH, so funny.

(Remember how I was trying to avoid this specific person--boy-- and literally got rejected from the UK as I was trying to cross and ocean and get away, and here I am, typing this at 3:44 am as said boy is wrapped in the arms of another girl and is literally less than 200 feet away from me as I type this. Untouchable by more than just 2 doors and a couple of meters...)

Here’s to celebrating the joys and happiness of other people-- to TRULY celebrating them. BECAUSE I NEEDA SAY IT: boy and girl together ARE SO STINKIN’ CUTE & honestly- they’re perfect for each other. truly.

I have to say: seeing the person boy has become as a result of dating girl has left me feeling like a PROUD MOMMA. they are SO GOOD TO and FOR each other it is sickeningly hopeful.

Here’s to all of us finding the person that’s perfect for us. Listen to your heart- your little divine spirit within. What does he or she want? What is he or she saying? Listen. Follow. Trust. Believe. <3

GO OUT THERE AND GET YOUR DREAM.

LIVE YOUR DIVING PURPOSE.

Xx JB

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