#oh no i just realised that tony stark is my bias | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

psychicrunawaybouquet-aus · 6 years

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Another lil spideychelle fic thingy

Ok so I’m not really a fanfic writer. I don’t even really normally read fan fiction (I just happen to have read pretty much all the spideychelle fanfics out there I’m like an encyclopaedia at this point)

Anyway every now and then I post something when I can be bothered, but I have realised I just really don’t have the patience to proof read and edit and commit to writing something... good.

The point is respect to the fanfic writers out there that provide A+ works. I can only imagine how much time it takes.

So this is a little fic, it’s kind of a love at first sight/college AU. Prepare for a lil bit of smut. You have been warned.

...........

It was one of those moments in life, where time seems to stop. Something seems different and there is a sense that something in your very soul has shifted. A crack, a change, an alteration. It’s the only way he can describe looking at her.

‘Peter.’ He hears vaguely in the distance.

‘Peter? Are you even listening?’ He hears more assertively.

Reluctantly he tears his eyes away from the woman across the room to face his friend. ‘Sorry Ned, start again.’

‘I said, Matt, you know, Matt from Chem is starting a dungeons and dragons club, I was wondering if you wanna join and bring beers on Tuesday?’

But Peter couldn’t help that his eyes seemed to be naturally wondering back to her. He has never seen her on campus before or at a party. Her wild curls framing her face, her tall willowy frame dressed in a fight the patriarchy shirt with ripped black jeans.

Suddenly a loud clicking sound resonated in his left ear. ‘Dude!’ Ned said. ‘You coming on Tuesday or not?’

‘Yeah sorry man.’ He answers only half interested.

‘What’s got in to you?’ Ned asked before following his eye line. Suddenly he felt Ned elbow his ribs beside him. ‘Go talk to her!’ His jovial friend encouraged.

‘No way Ned, she doesn’t even know me, she doesn’t want some creepy dude ruining her night.’

‘Normally I would agree with you, but you’re in luck my friend.’ Ned says as he tips his hat like a cowboy.

‘What do you mean?’ Peter asks, confused.

‘Well I happen to know that the young lady in questions name is Michelle Jones. She’s in my philosophy class annnddd she is good friends with Betty. So you know. I’ll go over, say hi and introduce you.’

‘Seriously? What a small world?’ Peter says, wondering how he has never happened across the mysterious curly haired Michelle before.

Ned scoffed ‘Peter, it’s college, I know a lot of people.’

Peter laughed. ‘You mean Betty knows a lot of people.’

‘Do you want me to introduce you or not?’ Ned questioned.

‘Alright alright. Do I look ok?’ Peter asked self consciously smoothing his shirt with his sweaty palms.

‘Yeah man, your Spider-Man.’ Ned says positively. ‘But maybe like undo a button or something.’

On the way across the room, Peter took Neds advice and undid one of the top buttons to his plaid shirt. But quickly felt self conscious, so did it back up before they reached her.

‘Hey MJ!’ Ned called in front of him. ‘Fancy seeing you here.’

The girl, MJ. Turned and looked at Ned with apparent disinterest, but her face seemed to lighten a little as she recognised her classmate. ‘Oh hey Leeds. Where’s Betty? I haven’t seen her around?’

‘She’s in Maine with her family,’ Ned answered casually. Whilst Peter found himself gawking. MJ, Michelle Jones as Ned had called her, was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Seeing her from far away did her no justice. She wasn’t a classical beauty, she was so much more than that. She was different and oozed a sense of cool that Peter could never hope to achieve. She was as blinding as the sun, yet as trance inducing as an open flame. He noticed her eyes lightly flicker to him, before quickly looking back at Ned.

‘This is my friend Peter Parker.’ Ned added, moving aside and gesturing to him. ‘Peter this is...’

But before Ned could finish Michelle cut him off. ‘Michelle Jones.’ She said forcefully holding her hand out for Peter to shake. Peter offered her a warm grin, before taking her hand into his. Her palms are smooth and soft, her skin warm. For a split second it feels like she is not looking at him, but seeing right through him. She holds his hand for a fraction of a second too long before she drops her hand and tucks her hair behind her ear.

‘Does he speak?’ MJ says to Ned aggressively.

‘Oh, uh yeah Hi. Sorry.’ Peter supplied quickly.

She raised her glorious eyebrow and smirked. ‘You’re a real nerd aren’t you Parker?’

Peter went to open his mouth but she added ‘No don’t defend yourself, I can tell. You Peter Parker are a nerd.’

‘Is that a bad thing?’ Peter questioned. Looking at Ned who shrugged.

She considered him for a second looking him up and down. Peter feeling slightly self conscious and terrified.

‘Nope.’ She said popping the p sound. ‘Nope, these days, I’d even argue that it’s hip to be a nerd.’

‘So I’m... hip then?’ Peter asked as she took a sip from her red plastic cup.

She laughed. A strangely feminine musical kind of laugh which juxtaposed her personality. ‘I’m just messing with you Parker. So what’s your deal? What year are you?’

‘Oh ah I’m a freshman, I ugh came here from midtown tech with Ned.’ He said as he went to gesture to his best friend, who was suddenly no longer next to him.

‘Oh that’s cool, you Ned and Betty. It’s good to know people.’

‘Yeah Peter nodded, the only problem is that they spend every weekend fucking in my dorm.’

Michelle laughed again, genuinely, and Peter decided that it was one of the most incredible sounds he had ever heard. It felt hard not to tell that somehow someway, she had opened some cosmic connection to his heart having an instantaneous effect on him. He wondered if this was what Shakespeare had imagined Romeo felt when he first meets Juliet.

‘I know the feeling.’ She says, bringing him out of his thoughts. ‘My roommate is actually an animal. It never ends. I don’t know how she keeps finding new people on campus to bang. Ugh I’ve decided I’m just gonna move into an apartment.’ MJ crosses her arms in front of her chest and leans casually against the wall.

‘That’s a good idea.’ Peter encouraged. Trying to act like her light wasn’t blinding him. ‘I don’t know why I haven’t thought of that.’

She smiled ‘well obviously I’m smarter than you, but if your in need of a roommate let me know.’ Again taking a swig of her drink. ‘I’m all out.’ She said. ‘What are you drinking Parker?’

‘Oh,’ he said glancing down at his cup. Trying not to appear to flustered. ‘Just beer I think.’

‘Yeah me too, I’m gonna go get another one.’ Picking up on her hint, Peter followed her outside and to the drinks table.

‘So what about you?’ He asked her. ‘Are you a freshman?’

She nodded as she ate a cracker.

‘What’s your major?’ He asked genuinely interested.

‘Journalism. You?’ She said as she crunched on carrot and dip.

‘Physics.’

‘Oooo Parker I was right you are a nerd.’ She said teasingly. Brushing her shoulder against his, Which was effecting him far more that it should be.

‘Yeah I guess.’ He says shrugging.

‘So what’s the plan? Are you gonna invent some shit? Go to space?’ She questioned.

Inwardly Peter considered that he already had invented ‘shit’ and been to space on several occasions, but neglected to mention it.

‘Something like that. What about you?’ Is all he says.

She went a long tangent about her goals as a writer, her ambition as a journalist, her political views. She had managed to insult Mr.Stark and had incorrect information on the snap, but still peter couldn’t help but readily digest every word she said with utter fascination.

‘How do you feel about Stark she asked? I mean as a physicist I’m sure you have a different perspective.’

Peter froze completely unsure of how to even begin to answer that question, what would he say. Well he is my mentor and sort of surrogate father? Albeit a emotionally removed and unavliable one.

‘Uhmmm well, to be honest, I don’t agree with everything he does but i know he has a brilliant mind and the best intentions.’

‘Do you think he still sells weapons under the table? My professor thinks so.’ She looks so passionate when she speaks, that he isn’t even offended by her question.

‘Well. Peter said carefully. ‘I really hope not.’

MJ rose her eyebrows over the rim of her cup and she took a sip. She swallowed and nodded. ‘ yeah I get that totally, we all want our heroes to be honest, but like really I feel like I’m most interested in the truth, even if it hurts. We deserve to know.’

‘Yeah’ Peter said, mostly agreeing with her, ‘But also I’m somewhat bias to the situation. Cause like, I’m kind of the heir to his company.’ He blurts out.

MJ’s eyes went wide and she coughed and spluttered everywhere. ‘What?’ She questioned. ‘Like, like as an like an heir to the British thrown but to Stark industries?’

‘Yeah well I kind of work for Stark and he was my mentor as a teenager, and then he kind of took me and my Aunt under his wing and, now I kind of ya know, help him develop tech and he sort of, asked me if he could leave me his company in the event of his death. So yeah I guess it’s kind of like inheriting the British thrown. But also nothing like it, I guess heir wasn’t the right word more like i’m responsible for managing his legacy?’

He truly doesn’t know why he is telling her this, she is clearly not a big fan of Mr. Stark, she is a journalism student and Tony’s will was supposed to just be between him, May and Pepper.

She just looks at him in shock. ‘Well that’s.... a lot.’ She says finally. ‘I’m sorry I, ugh didn’t know.’

‘It’s ok. Not everyone sees eye to eye with him. I get that. And also, no one really knows. I mean it’s no secret that I work on tech development, but, the rest is kind of private.’

‘So why are you telling me?’ She asked looking genuinely confused.

‘I don’t know really. I suppose a journalist is the worst person to tell. I guess they’re is something about you makes it easy for me to tell you.’

‘What can I say.’ She shrugs. ‘It’s my charm.’ Her teasing somewhat lightening the mood, making Peter laugh.

‘But just so you know Peter, your secrets safe with me.’ She offered him a small smile and looked deeply honest in her eyes.

‘How the hell did you end up as Starks protégée in the first place?’

And he finds himself telling her everything (aside from Spider-Man and anything overtly fantastical)

He tells her about his parents and Ben and May.

‘Wow.’ Was all MJ said. Reaching for his hand and holding it in support, searing his skin in the process. ‘If it makes you feel any better, my dad is in jail and my Mom is dead. But like he didn’t kill her!’ She adds quickly, ‘he’s in jail for an unrelated reason.’

‘Oh, wow MJ I’m sorry.’ Peter says as emphatically as he can manage.

‘Yeah you aren’t the only one with a sob story hey Parker! And look you became a future billionaire out of it.’ He can tell she is joking when she speaks. He somehow knows that she understands that the money doesn’t mean anything to him, that she knows he has been hurt.

He laughs warmly, his chest swelling with some foreign feeling, overwhelmed by her so quickly after meeting her. ‘If you don’t mind me asking, what happened? To your mom I mean?’

She took a deep breath ‘she was in an accident.’ That was all she said, it was clear she didn’t want to elaborate, so he didn’t push it, changing the subject.

‘Wanna go lay on the grass?’ He questioned gesturing to the small grass area in the back yard by the pool.

She shrugged. ‘Sure’

They lay on the grass and look up at the Stars in silence. Peter couldn’t help the bad memories that flood his mind as he thinks of his time amongst gods, stars and wizards. He thinks of when faded away to dust on titan, when they lost Cap, when he thought he had lost Tony.

Suddenly he felt cold fingers touch his temple, he looked to his left to find Michelle leaning on her hand, propped up on her elbow, she seemed to be using her other hand to smooth his face.

‘What’s the worry Parker?’ She asked as she brushed her thumb softly between his brows, preventing them from remaining furrowed.

‘That feels unbelievably nice.’ He said as she pressed her thumb and massaged his forehead.

‘There is something strange about you Parker.’ She said ominously, causing his heart beat to rapidly flutter.

He smiled at her, in the moonlight she looked even more beautiful then when he had first seen her. Her face seemed closer than before, and he wondered if she would want him to kiss her. But before he can consider for much longer, she is leaning in to his space, and he finds himself leaning forward.

When their lips meet, its like a supernova. Everything exploding in a glorious succession from his mouth all the way to his toes. He reaches his hand up to her face and winds his fingers in the hair that meets the back of her neck. She leans closer, parting her lips as his tongue grazes hers.

She makes a small whimpering sound that ignites his masculine ego, pulling her closer to him, desperate for more of her. She pulls away suddenly and the lack of her touch is like a cold chill taking over his body.

He searches her eyes, silently questioning if he has done something wrong. ‘Do you want to get out of here?’ She asks. Completely shocked, Peter doesn’t know what to say. He just opens and closes his mouth.

‘You don’t have to say yes, I’m sorry if I...’

But he cuts her off my by kissing her again, pulling her on top of him on the grass. She straddles his waist, and leans down so that their chest to chest, he kisses her hard, and finds himself running his hands hungrily up the sides of her torso. Her skin is hot, burning him in the most satisfying way.

‘Parker.’ She said against his mouth. ‘I’m not going to fuck you on the lawn.’ He immediately pulls away. ‘Oh yeah! I know I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to make you think that. I don’t expect anything.’

‘I know you dweeb. I’m just teasing you.’ She says. Swinging her leg off him and standing. She reaches her hand out to pull him up beside her.

They wander and chat and laugh back to campus, he follows her lead and finds himself at her door to her dorm. ‘My roommate is away so. You can come in.’ she says as she unlocks the door. Her dorm is interesting to say the least. One side, he assumes is her dorm mates. It’s pink and girly with makeup scattered on the bed. Michelle’s side has a book case, a Bernie Sanders poster and dark bed sheets with a floral pattern.

Mi Casa su Casa. She says, falling on the bed. Suddenly he is nervous, he hasn’t done this, in a long time, he isn’t super experienced. Maybe she is, maybe he will disappoint her.

‘I can hear your thoughts from here’ she says suddenly. ‘Relax Peter.’

MJ pulls him on top of her, and kisses his brow in an oddly intimate way. He captures her lips in his, and commits to the moment. She moans and keens and whimpers as he kisses down her neck, biting and sucking.

She reaches for the hem of his shirt and moves to pull it off. ‘Is this ok?’ She asks. He just nods stupidly and she tears off his shirt. She looks a little taken aback and as he leans back down to kiss her she halts him placing her palm flat on his chest.

‘What the hell parker?’ She asks abruptly.

‘What?’ He questions. Confused and concerned.

‘Do you like, live at the gym?’ She asks.

‘Oh. Ugh I try and stay fit.’ Peter bashfully admits attempting not to blush.

‘No shit.’ She says as she runs her hand slowly down his chest to his stomach and abs, stopping just at the waist band of his pants.

He shivers and MJ grins. Pulling her own shirt over her head. She is sans bra, which, is a nice surprise. And her breasts, like the rest of her, are perfect. He is drawn to them, kissing them carefully, pulling her nipple on his mouth, feeling it harden and pebble. Her moans might as well be angles singing in his ears.

Her back slightly arching off the bed. She pants in his ear. ‘Peter take my pants off.’ Its almost a demand. Desperate and fuelled with hormones.

And in that moment Peter has the feeling that if she were to let him, he would never deny her anything she could even want, so he does as she says. Undoing her belt lovingly. She grows frustrated ripping her jeans and underwear off, suddenly naked before him. Peter vaguely considers in the back of his mind that he is perhaps harder then he has ever been in his entire life. So ridiculously turned on by the woman he had only known a few hours.

‘Peter!’ She exclaims stop staring at me and do something! Please.’ She begs, which only serves to make Peter even more horny.

He runs his hand down her torso, before reaching her centre. He gently brushes her clit with his fingers. Causing her to shiver and bite her lip in the most glorious way. He moves his finger down and carefully slips it inside her warmth. He can hear her wetness already gathered there as he slowly pumps in and out, driving him completely insane. ‘Peter. I need more.’ She begs. He puts a second finger inside and kneels in front of her.

He pumps in and out as he softly kisses her sweet spot. Licking exactly the way that makes her scream unholy things. He hasn’t eaten anyone out in a long time, but he supposed it’s like riding a bike, it’s not something he can unlearn. She falls hard and breathy moaning his name over and over. Her chest rising and falling in frantic erotic breaths.

When she looks at him afterwards, he is grinning like an idiot. ‘Shut up!’ She says. ‘I didn’t say anything!’ He defends.

She pulls him back down on top of her and moans against his mouth when she taste herself on his lips. ‘We don’t have to do anything else if you don’t want too.’ He offers.

Michelle raises an eyebrow. ‘I want too. Definitely.’

Peter shivers at her certainty, a beautiful woman wants him and he isn’t going to argue again. He takes the rest of his clothes off whilst MJ overtly admires him for a moment, making him blush profusely but she quickly wraps her hand around his shaft so he doesn’t have lot of time to be embarrassed, ‘so hard for me.’ She mumbles into his mouth. ‘You have no idea.’ He feels himself saying before he can stop it.

‘Condoms?’ He asks. ‘Oh yeah! In the draw.’ she reaches over and finds the box, in the bedside table. And for a split second he can’t help but think about the amount of condoms she had in her draw, he suddenly hates the hands of anyone who has touched her before he could, but he shakes the thought off, disgusted in his possessiveness. He opens a Condom from a green packet and discards the wrapping, but feels anxious and exposed again. hovering over her in anticipation and fear. ‘ you ok?’ She asks.

‘Yeah.’ He replies anxiously his voice a little cracked. ‘It’s just been a while.’ He feels himself shaking with anticipation and anxiety, but she seems to know what he needs, slowly and firmly rubbing his length until he can’t take it anymore. She pulls him down to her chest and runs her fingers gently down his back, like the ghost of a touch. ‘It’s ok Peter. You will be fine.’

‘I don’t know if I will...last.’ He admits, deeply embarrassed.

‘It’s ok I promise.’ She says Her eyes warm and genuine. ‘No pressure, you made me cum already remember?’ He nods and smirks and she shoves him gently on the shoulder, ‘Don’t get too cocky Parker it was one orgasm not twenty.’

So without anymore hesitation Peter is slowly pushing into her perfect tight heat and it’s glorious. He is in literal heaven. It’s how Hades must have felt when he coupled with Persephone, but without any of the kidnapping or dubious consent. Peter pushes the poor comparison aside to focus on what he’s doing. He looks down to read her expression. ‘I’m ok.’ MJ says seemingly reading his mind. ‘You can move.’ She tells him.

And he does. He tries to ease into it, but his body is desperate to go. He has to remind himself to contain his super human strength but all his body wants is too move harder and faster. Luckily, she seems to not mind. Encouraging him. ‘Yes. Peter more. Harder.’ She moans.

He thrusts hard and is almost undone by the sound of her cries. Her head thrown back in ecstasy. ‘Mmm yes, MJ.’ He mumbles roughly. ‘You’re so tight, you feel so good.’ He says into her sweet smelling hair. He feels her walls start to tighten and spasm after a while spent in pure pleasure and it takes everything in him not to cum. ‘Peter!’ She cries out at her release.

He can’t help it, the sound of her, the feel of her, the way she looked panting and sweaty, her nipples flushed and pert. Properly fucked, he thinks, inflating his own ego. He moves faster and harder, his hips bucking almost against his will.

‘Yes! She moans in his ear. ‘Your dick is so good.’ She cries.

And in the end, rather embarrassingly it’s her words that push him over the edge. He is jerking, rutting hips in his finish, any semblance of rhythm lost in the whitewash of his peak. Yet she also seems to be desperately enjoying it, clawing his back and moaning in his ear until he collapses on top of her. Utterly bewildered. They both gasp for air for a while, before he rolls off of her staring at the ceiling in total shock and awe.

‘Night Nerd.’ She mumbles.

They quickly fall asleep huddled together on her single bed mattress. The last thing he remembers is the sound of her gentle breath as sleep overwhelms him.

When Peter wakes in the morning, he feels so much contentment, more then he had felt in years. Michelle’s hair is wild next to him. Sprawled across his chest. He can’t help but notice how she looks different in the light of the morning, younger somehow, more at peace.

Suddenly his phone starts ringing. Jolting them both. She shoots upright, feeling around for her phone. ‘MJ.’ He says. ‘It’s my phone. Go back to sleep.’

To his surprise, she immediately does, rolling over and softly snoring. He quickly admires the fact that her bed sheet is gathered at her waist, allowing him to scan the soft expanse of the smooth skin on her back. Peter checks his phone and sees 7 missed calls from Ned. Quickly he dresses and steps outside her dorm and into the empty corridor.

He calls Ned, who answers almost immediately. ‘Peter where the hell did you go last night, I thought something might have happened.... you know to Spider-Man!’ He scolded.

‘Shit Ned I’m sorry. Nothing happened with Spider-Man. I ugh. I went home with MJ last night...’

It took 3 full seconds before Ned says anything. ‘You what!??? You have to tell me everything, are you a college slut now? I never imagined you would be. Is this your first one night stand? Not that I have had any...’

‘Ned, Ned stop, I’m still here with her. I’m in her dorm room hallway.’

‘Oh.’ Ned says

‘But umm. I think I there’s a problem.’ Peter adds.

‘What is it? You ok? Did you have performance anxiety? Did the condom break? Did...’ Ned asks hurriedly over phone.

Ignoring his friends questions Peter just says ‘I think... well I think I’m in love with her.’

‘Oh. Oh no.’ Is all Ned says in reply.

#spideychelle #peter parker #michelle jones #tomdaya

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amaluelmwood · 5 years

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I’m going to put this all under a cut for people who haven’t seen it yet etc, but... some thoughts about Endgame.

I mean. The first thing y’all should know (if you don’t already) is that I am a long time Tony Stark fan. My first MCU film was Iron Man. My first MCU character love was Tony Stark. Tony is my favourite, has always been my favourite, will always be my favourite.

(It may also help to know that I am autistic and my love for Tony Stark is definitely also tied up in Special Interest territory, and also in making-me-feel-better-during-depression-and-shit-life-circumstances territory)

So.. I’m admitting a bias for Tony Stark right off the bat. Just, getting it out there etc.

With that said.

The more I think about Endgame... the more I hate it.

1. This film. THIS FILM. Did Tony so fucking dirty. I am perfectly capable of understanding why the writers went with this end for him. Hero’s death. Let him rest. End of an era. Maybe RDJ wants a clean cut. etc. But it was shit. It was badly fucking done. Tony Stark had ten years of character growth. Tony Stark made sacrifice after sacrifice after fucking sacrifice, until he made the ultimate sacrifice. That was a not-payoff. That was... I don’t even know what that was. I hate it. I understand that I am biased, but... that was fucking bullshit. It was also bad writing. It was also entirely predictable - I knew going in that this was going to happen. I... legitimately cried in public.

2.a. Why the hell was Tony’s payoff given to Clint? Clint had barely been in the last few films. He’s been supremely underused and he was an asshole in AOU, CW. Like - really? Why am I suddenly meant to care about a guy who was an asshole and then disappeared?

2.b. Why the hell was Tony’s payoff given to Steve? And in such a really fucking stupid way? Steve’s ending was... seriously, what the fuck was that? You can come at this a hundred different angles and in all of them, it’s stupid and bad writing. A sample: So... after WS and CW, where he spent two whole movies being obsessed with saving Barnes and fucking over... literally everyone over it... he’s now abandoning him to the future alone? By going back and marrying Peggy, he’s just wiped out her entire line of descendants. Or, if he was always her husband in secret, he... spent 70 years in hiding? and Peggy... kept him secret somehow? And he had a brief romance with his own niece? Oh, and he also... left Bucky with HYDRA? He left HYDRA to infiltrate SHIELD? He.. left behind all the innovations and cultural shifts and so on etc to go.. and live in the fucking 40s? Where women and poc are less than secondclass citizens? I could go on. but I’m also just going to say: uhhh.. The serum severely slows down ageing.

3. They fridged Natasha. Really. Really. Bad writing. The sacrifice that would have made better sense there would actually have been Clint, accepting that he’s gone too far down the path of darkness and using this opportunity to make a sort of amends for it. But no. Instead, we get ‘Natasha has lost purpose, is depressed, dies’. Right.

4.a. Where the fuck was Carol? She’s the literal heavy hitter of this collection of enhanced people for fucks sake? What the actual fuck was all the build up of her film, and the extra scenes at the end of her film and IW? Setting her up as an important character for Endgame? And then... nothing? I mean, she’s stronger and more resilient than .. Hulk. Anyone else think of that? like, hi? She could have EASILY wielded the damn gauntlet/stones and survived unharmed? Hello? No? No. Apparently having her godmoding self turn up to kill the ship was what they wanted to go with. It looked cool, sure, but...

4.b. An alternative to Tony literally sacrificing himself AGAIN.

The gauntlet is thrown his way. Stephen gives him the hint. Tony goes to grab it, perfectly ready and willing to commit the ultimate sacrifice again, kill himself and his future, his hopes and his dreams, to save his family and the rest of the universe.

At the last second, Carol grabs it, ‘It’s ok Doctor Stark! You’ve made enough sacrifices, let me get this one.’

Carol fixes everything and her godmoding power means she’s barely scratched. Tony learns he doesn’t always have to make the sacrifice, it’s not always on him to fix other peoples messes, there are people around he can rely on... he can rest.

5. Fuck the Russo’s. Cowards. Absolute fools.

6. Also, what the fuck was that 30 second Russo cameo as a gay guy? Are we meant to be patting the Russo’s on the back for that throwaway never to be seen again ‘representation’? When we've got Brunhilde? Loki? Carol? You know, actual canon queer characters? Double fuck you Russo’s.

7. ALL THE FEMALE ENHANCED/HEROES TO THE RESCUE except... wow... is that really all we had? Through, like, twenty films? I know that was meant to be an awesome look at these baddass ladies scene, but all it did for me was point out quite how few of them there were. Pepper-as-Rescue was awesome, though.

8. Fatphobia. Fat. Phobia. Again, I know it’s a visual shorthand. But it was the fucking laziest, disrespectful, fatphobic bullshit writing.

9. What the.. fuck was that Professor Hulk?

10. Give me Tony back you cowards.

---

I mean. I generally hate time travel stories anyway? Because they’re so.. stupid. But this film... This film did not do time travel well. Like. At all. I also knew that time travel was the only way they were going to do it. I knew that going in. And I still hated it all.

But... there were some things I enjoyed.

Tony and Peter reuniting. That goddamn bearhug. God. Crying.

Tony telling Steve exactly how he feels, finally. (Except, Steve... still didn’t apologise...)

The look on Stephen’s face as he gave Tony the hint, clearly knowing it was going to kill him.

Pepper as Rescue. Carol killing Thanos’ ship. Everyone turning up at the battlefield to save the day. Morgan. ‘I love you 3000′ Literally everything about Tony as a father, actually.

Thanos’ expression of utter defeat as he finally realised that was it.

‘It is America’s ass’ ‘Hail HYDRA’

Loki mimicking Steve in the penthouse.

...

None of it made up for what has.. basically killed me. I’m not sure if my relationship with MCU can survive this. Tony Stark IS the MCU for me. It started with him, I’ve been with him through it all. It may.. have died with him. For me. I guess I’ll see.

#tony stark #MCU #endgame #avengers endgame #spoilers

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itsallavengers · 6 years

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Now I want to know the whole capture the flag story oh my god they are savages and I love them

Everyone blames Clint for starting it, later on, but in reality he was just the one who mentioned it in passing at the breakfast table on the morning of that Fateful Day.

In fact, they hadn’t even been that into the idea. Tony had outright laughed and then just wandered back off to the workshop. Natasha had turned to him and pulled a face of disdain. It had only been Bruce, Thor and Steve who were wholly into the idea. Thought it would be good for ‘team building’.

Oh, how wrong they were.

(Read more under the cut)

“PUT DOWN THE GUN, ROMANOV, OR I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL PUT MY SUIT AROUND YOU AND SET IT TO SELF-DESTRUCT.”

“GIVE ME THE FLAG OR STEVE’S GETTING IT IN THE KNEE!”

“You can’t seriously be…. you’re not actually going to shoot him right?” Bruce asked weakly, standing between them with his hands up, trying to calm both Natasha and Tony, who were facing off in between a red and gold flag Tony had rendered earlier that morning.

Natasha turned to him. “Don’t underestimate me, Banner.”

Tony wiped the cut over his eye and raised the repulsor he’d rigged up. “Clint already fucking tranqued Captain America, Bruce, their team are full of monsters. We need you. We need you to-”

“I’m not hulking out over a pimped up game of tag, now both of you put down your fucking weapons!” Bruce yelled.

Steve chose that moment to headbutt Natasha in the stomach and steal the gun from her hand. Which would’ve been all well and good- but they hadn’t accounted for Thor swinging down off the rafters and punching Steve sqaure in the jaw before running to the flag himself.

Tony fired a warning shot which may or may not have been slightly above ‘warning shot’ levels. “Touch my flag again, you bastard, and I’ll fry the lot of you,” he dared. From the floor, Steve groaned and raised his hands in a thumbs up gesture of agreement.

Thor removed himself from the wall he had been inserted into by Tony’s ‘warning shot’ and smiled. “Two against one, Iron Man. Barton is on his way. Captain America is down and Bruce will no longer fight for you. You cannot win.”

Tony bared his teeth. “I will go down with this flag, motherfuckers.”

Natasha picked the gun off the floor and pointed it right at his dick. “Wanna risk it, Stark?” She said, other hand stretching out. “Give us the flag.”

“Over my dead body.”

“Give us the flag.”

“Give me your gun.”

“That’s…. that’s so not how this works.”

Tony shrugged, the hand gripping at the flag pole tapping out a staccato rhythm with his fingers. “My house, my rules.”

God. He hoped the new AI he’d designed (after Clint had fucking gone into the servers and put JARVIS to sleep) would work. Because he was going to do something pretty stupid.

“Steve, darling?” He called after another few seconds, “you remember what happened at Central Park, with the football tryouts?”

On the floor, Steve paused his pained rolling. Tony knew he was casting his mind back to when they’d last been at the park, and Steve had gone over to watch some guys playing (some admittedly terrible) football with one another before snapping after thirty seconds and running over in order to give them a lesson in how to effectively tackle someone

“Riiight through the window,” Tony said, putting a foot behind him and bracing.

It seemed their enemies realised what was happening at the same time Steve did, because as soon as Steve jerked back to his feet, Thor was already reaching out.

Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on which way you looked at it) Steve was faster.

“Tony wHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU D-!” Bruce yelled loudly, the rest of his sentence cut off as suddenly Clint launched into the room and drop-kicked him efficiently.

Tony didn’t have the chance to answer anyway. Too busy being forcefully tackled by Captain America, their precious red and gold flag still clutched in his hand. He felt the air leave his lungs fast, pushed out by the pressure of Steve’s shoulder on his chest, and his feet weren’t even on the floor as Steve just sprinted further and further and further.

“LATER, TEAM CRAP!” He yelled out to them, giving one last wave before Steve pushed them through the window and sent them falling down to the streets below.

Ha. The flag was still theirs. Now all they had to do was survive this bit.

Luckily, the CCTV cameras had caught the pattern he’d been drumming into the pole a few seconds previously and had deployed the suit immediately, because Tony watched it shoot out of the window after them , latching around the bracelets he’d slipped onto Steve’s wrists as they’d been hurtling down the side of the tower. It was a terrible fit- his and Steve’s bodies weren’t exactly similar- but it did the trick, and with a yell of mild panic, Steve hit the repulsors like Tony had taught him and balanced them out in the air, about eight floors from the street. Tony felt the pull as Steve slowed them both down, but didn’t let go of the Flag. Not after all the effort he’d gone through in order to keep hold of it.

Up above, he saw Clint and Natasha peering out of the window after him. “BRUCE JUST HULKED OUT,” Clint cupped his hands and yelled, and then Tony watched both him and Natasha duck as a piano flew out of the window.

“THAT MEANS WE WIN!” Tony yelled back up.

“WE WILL NEVER SURR-” Another crash, and then a green fist flashed through the window, just for a second, and suddenly Clint was falling out of the hole Tony and Steve had made seconds previously.

Natasha cocked her head and watched him for a second, before turning back to them. “DO YOU MIND JUST GRABBING HIS ANKLE OR SOMETHING?” She called down.

“The question is, do we actually want to do that?” Tony mused, whilst Steve snorted and flew up to meet the flailing body of their insufferable archer, “also, honey, this might be bad timing, but I’d like to point out that you flying my armour is insanely hot and I would definitely like to explore this in future-”

His voice was drowned out as Clint’s body smashed into him, and he huffed in annoyance. “Why does he have to interrupt me all the time? Barton, I was discussing important relationship things and you just fucking drop in and-”

“Oh, God, if you’re talking about your stupid armour kink then you can just drop me again,” Clint declared, before making a grab for the flag. Tony screamed, batting him over the head and trying to scramble as far away from Steve’s hold as he was able.

“ENOUGH!” Steve grabbed them both by the collars of their shirts and tore them apart, until both of them were dangling on opposite ends of Steve’s arms. Tony only noted minimal wobble as Steve balanced out on the foot repulsors, too, which meant he was learning- that was always nice to see. “I am calling a ceasefire on this game. Both of you stand down.”

“Steve!” Tony said, betrayed, whilst Clint just made another fruitless grab for the flag.

“I’m being responsible,” Steve said primly, before smiling, “also I’m pretty sure I’m concussed right now. And three of us just fell out of a window. Two went voluntarily. I think it’s time to call it quits.”

Tony folded his arms and then jerked out a leg, aiming for Clint’s shin across Steve’s body. Clint jerked away, and Steve hastened to steady them again, just as Clint reached out an arm and punched Tony in the shoulder, making it go dead. Reflexively, Tony’s grip relaxed on the pole as he winced- only realising his grave mistake as he watched the flag drop don where he couldn’t grab and keep going, down. down down, until-

“Well, that solves that problem,” Steve shrugged, watching the flag as it clattered onto the road and was then crushed brutally by a truck seconds later. He frowned as both Tony, Clint and Natasha from a hundred feet above them, all screamed in horror.

“Barton, I’m going to ruin your life,” Tony turned to him, “you made me drop my flag and I’m going to ruin your fucking life-”

“Hey, I didn’t know you were that weak, did I-”

“Fuck you, my team still won.”

“No you didn’t!”

Steve gave them both a warning shake, and they went silent, Clint sullenly folding his arms. “As team leader of the Avengers, I declare our team the winners,” he said, before shooting upward, back toward the floor they’d started out on.

Clint yelled in outrage. “Bias! Under what grounds?”

Steve looked to Clint, and then over to Tony. “Well, for one thing, he was the last one to hold onto it.” He paused, and then shrugged. “Also he’s really hot and I’m very easily swayed by him.”

Before Clint could even gag, Steve chucked him back through the window where Natasha was waiting. Tony grinned down at both of them, wrapping his arms around Steve as they hovered in the air. “Well that was fun, kids,” he said sweetly, as Clint looked around for something to undoubtedly try and shoot them with, “but you heard Cap. Our team won. Now if you’ll excuse us, we have to go to hospital.”

“I will murder you in your sleep,” Natasha said bluntly.

“Losers talk!” Tony sung to her as Steve lifted them through the air to a safer distance, aiming for the penthouse.

Below him, he heard a particularly violent Russian curse, but chose to ignore it. He was the bigger man, after all. “Are you actually concussed?” He chose to say instead, turning to Steve.

“Well, Thor hit me very hard.”

“He tends to do that when he gets overexcited.”

“This was a really bad idea.”

“With hindsight, I can see why.”

There was a short silence, and then Steve turned back to him. “Rematch next week?”

Oh, Tony loved him. “Obviously”

#avengers #domestic avengers fic #stevetony #itsallavengers writes #this is the only sort of civil war i care about #also yes this is like five months old but there are like 11 ficlets in my drafts that i havent posted and i wanted to just try clear them al

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armoured-iron-geek · 6 years

Text

End of Infinity War Theory FanFic

Based on the theory that this scene was indeed a vision of the future:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxkdS4TfGBo

“You could have saved us. Why didn’t you do more?”

That was the question he had been trying to answer since Ultron. He had tried to prepare for the inevitable by inventing, building, then improving. He wasn’t the only genius in the world, but he seemed to be the only futurist of them that cared to face the unknown, no matter how terribly his hands would tremble. He had been recruiting and negotiating with people, to bring them together as a united front, to face the horrors that the galaxy had to offer.

And then the Accords and Siberia happened. By his own mistakes and the grievances of others, Tony Stark was very much alone.

Again.

At first, he had tried to hate those who had “deceived and betrayed” him, to allow the anger to burn and fuel his determination. In the end, his efforts to do so were fruitless. It’s extremely hard to steer hate towards others when the majority of it is already dedicated to hating oneself. Tony knew what he had done wrong and his part in the splitting up of the Avengers. He wasn’t stupid, he was well aware of the vigilante group his rogue teammates had formed elsewhere in the world. The fact that they were breaking numerous international laws wasn’t what annoyed Tony in the end.

What annoyed him was that a huge part of him wanted to be with them.

But alas, he never did pick up that bloody cellphone until Rogers had texted him with a very simple question: Do you need us?

And Tony had answered: Always.

One particularly devastating series of cluster fucks later, the Avengers, Guardians and whoever else was brave enough had succeeded in taking Thanos down. He wasn’t dead, but thanks to the combined efforts of Strange and Loki, the Space Stone had backfired on the Mad Titan, sending him to the every edge of the galaxy, weakened and sans Infinity Gauntlet. The threat was over....for now at least.

But...at what cost?

The Gauntlet was in a stasis, hovering in it’s own power, the light of which produced an illusion of a pedestal, making it the centre of a pure nightmare. It was like a sun which possessed rings of devastation, the bodies of fallen heroes laid and poised in the round. The further away the Gauntlet’s light, the bigger the blanket of darkness that draped the martyrs became. They were nothing more than fallen metaphors, a shell of the determination that once fired in their no longer beating hearts.

The majority had been taken out in the final blast that had lead Thanos to his temporary doom. The Soul Stone, however, could still detect one last, flickering life form in the furthest ring of devastation, slightly buried in a crater created quite early in the final battle. The Stone glimmered in interest; who was the last remaining if all the others were already absorbed and locked within her power? She wanted to pitch the question to her fellow Stones, but she could feel their annoyance at being abandoned and no longer being used.

No, this inquiry was something she would have to partake in alone.

It wasn’t long before the subject of her interest came to, the being struggling to pull himself out from under the debris. She could feel his confusion and physical pain, his metal-clad body slowly making it’s way to feeble freedom. Ah, of course it would just have to be the human that seems to jest in the face of death over and over again. The one known to the galaxy as Anthony Edward Stark, AKA Iron Man.

Over with said individual, with a thick rub of his eyes after collapsing his broken helmet back, Tony could finally see again, his vision adjusting to the new visual circumstances. What he saw was the exact scene that had fuelled his night terrors for many years, with a few additions.

They were dead. They were all dead, Tony realised with awakening horror. He immediately felt tight in his chest, his breathing quickened to a dangerous pace and the armour he had once used as a defence mechanism became extremely claustrophobic. He staggered to his feet, fumbling forward a few steps while simultaneously pressing a pattern into the arc reactor with his fingers. The suit transformed back into the hoodie and tracksuit pants ensemble which Tony took as a cue to collapse back onto his knees.

Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.

He huddled into himself.

They’re dead. They’re dead. They’re dead.

Clasping his fingers together didn’t stop the trembling.

Why did you let this happen?

The guilt came pouring out with his tears.

You could have saved us. Why didn’t you do more?

“I tried,” he wept, unable to look up, “I tried so hard, but in the end...”

I’m the man who killed the Avengers.

“Now that’s quite enough, Man of Iron.”

What the hell? Gasping, Tony shot out of his reverie, glistening brown eyes desperately scanning for the sound of that voice, so stern, yet calm. Several moments later, his emotionally fried mind managed to decipher that the voice had not been out in the open, but within himself.

“Who are you?” he whimpered.

“I am the entity that Know’s and See’s....not all....but most,”the voice said, seeming to take time with it’s words, calculating,”And what I See in you, I certainly do not appreciate. I’ve Seen broken and damaged Souls before, but never have I seen one so badly shattered by it’s own possessor. Enough is enough.”

And the Gauntlet lit up brighter than ever before, finally catching Tony’s attention, bathing him in a dense orange light. He was momentarily blinded, preventing him from realising that the Gauntlet was making it’s way over to him.

He panicked, lurching into his unsteady legs as the Gauntlet came closer to his proximity. Tony staggered backwards, crying out, screaming, “No! Stay away from me! Stay back, please!”

The Gauntlet, unsurprisingly, ignored him, simply continuing on it’s floating journey.

“Please don’t! I can’t touch! I can’t have....,” Tony continued back away, “Please...” Suddenly, Tony could go no further, his back roughly slamming into rock behind him. He cowered into the rough surface, face turning away from the Gauntlet’s glow, “What do you want from me? What could I possibly have that you want?”

“There is a price for everything, but we will get to that,” the Voice responded softly, noticeably feminine,”We have our uses and I wish to offer them to you. They will not mind my brashness. They care not as long as they are not stuck in stasis. Any user is a good user.”

“No! I-I couldn’t possibly-”

“But look around, is this not the vision which has plagued you for so long?”

“.....Yes,” admitted Tony. He braced himself and turned back to look directly at the Gauntlet. All Stones had dimmed with the exception of the Soul Stone. It-She must be the speaker.

“A mere few minutes ago, you were wallowing in your self-guilt over your inability. We can provide you exactly that.” encouraged the Soul Stone, giving a flickering glimmer that Tony took to mean reassurance,“We hold no bias, Man of Iron. The fluidity of our powers bends to no one’s agenda, we merely adapt as we are needed. It seems you are in most need of us at this moment.”

Tony couldn’t stop himself from nodding in agreement. Even then, he retorted, “That’s true, but it doesn’t mean I should. I’m confused though...It was made clear to me that a mortal cannot wield such power-”

“Such a statement is crafted by fools,”snarked the Soul Stone,”And you are foolish to believe it even after witnessing Stephen Strange wielding my Brother of Time without a problem. You cannot physically touch us as a celestial or god can, but if you have enough will and courage, we have no objection to listening.”

Tony considered the Stones words for a moment, staring down at his shoes, taking in the dust and grime.

“All you need is a vessel to contain us. Your armour would do well.”

“I just...I don’t think I could do it...That I should do it. Go back in time and start all of this again?”

“You doubt our abilities?”

“No, I doubt mine. I screw up nearly everything I touch. Even if I have the gift of foresight, who’s to say I won’t just make everything even worse?”

“You are needlessly doubting yourself again...”

“I have the track record to back me up.”

“Anthony Stark, are you not a mechanic? A tinkerer?” the Soul Stone was beginning to sound rather frustrated now, “You throw yourself into building your armour and technology with no abandon, why could you not build a timeline with the same efficiency and grace?

“With my tech, I know what I’m doing. The variables of...constructing a new timeline....”

“Is no different of a risk, simply on a far larger scale.”

“The biggest scale of all. Literal lives are at stake. If I were to mess up, people would die.”

“And this is better?”

Tony would swear until the day he died thatif the Stone had a physical body, that question would have been accompanied by a gesture to the devastation surrounding him. Taking in a shuddering breath, he shot a glance towards the nearest body, Steve Rogers staring out into the abyss of the galaxy, the shield Tony had returned to him shattered in multiple pieces. A few feet away, Clint and Natasha were draped over each other, having wrestled to cover each other in the wake of the final blast.

In his mind’s eye, Tony could remember the final moments of the kid he had grown so fond of, Peter Parker’s rasping breaths finally receding as he died in Tony’s arms. So young.

So many of them....

“No, this isn’t better....”

“Well then?” the Stone pressed.

“I guess...there’s nothing else to do....but try...” Tony finally conceded with a frown. He momentarily paused, following a random train of thought, “But you mentioned a price...”

“Indeed I did.”

“What is it?”

“It’s a simple trade,” reassured the Soul Stone,”Resetting the timeline of everything that has been is no small feat even for us. Personally, I stand to lose the power of the souls that have fallen due to this conflict. I can handle the loss, but I will want compensation. The trade is simple, Anthony Stark:the chance to rescue those souls.....in exchange for your own.”

Tony knew it would be something along those lines, but the thought still left him momentarily frozen in place, “You want my soul? But you said it was shattered, why would you want it?”

“It’s shattered, but the pieces have yet to disappear from your being,”the Stone clarified,”Your soul is amendable, just like the timeline through our influence. Should you succeed in your mission, I will piece you back together, than make you my own. Bring you into me. I assure you, there is no greater form of rest or peace”

“Rest...”

“Yes, Anthony, rest.”

Several minutes later, Tony was once more in his armour, but this time, there were six new power sources. The Stones had willingly detached themselves from the Gauntlet, the Power and Space Stones now on either shoulder, the Mind and Reality Stones on his hips, the Time Stone on his stomach and the Soul Stone taking the spot of honour, replacing the arc reactor in the centre of his chest.

“You’ve made a wise choice, Man of Iron. By providing the galaxy with peace, you will in turn, finally find your own.”

Tony merely nodded, steeling himself for what was ahead, eyes shut tight. Never again would he have to see all of his friends dead, for that is what they were, no matter what had come between them. The man Tony had been before Afghanistan would have scoffed at the thought of giving up his own life for those he cared about. That Tony was an idiot. The Tony he was now wasn’t much better, but at least he knew this one could improve. It was time to prove himself.

“Let us proceed.”

With a blinding light that stunted all of his senses, a great power reverberated around Tony’s body, spinning outwards, then pulling in, engulfing the mortal completely. The last thing Tony knew was a feeling of great relief before blacking out entirely.

It was his sense of smell that came back to Tony first, the scent of grease and metal immediately calming him down from the adrenaline rush. Over a matter of minutes, he could eventually feel the cold steel under his arms and recognise that he seemed to be bent over on some type of table.As he opened his eyes, his spatial awareness kicked in just in time for his hearing to finally register an extremely familiar voice calling to him.

“Sir?”

Tony groaned and started to wearily stretch his body out.

“Sir, I don’t understand what just occurred. You just appeared out of nowhere with the flash of a bright light, but my scanners failed to detect any energy signatures from said light.”

“Of course not, JARVIS, Infinity Stones don’t-....wait....J-JARVIS?”

“Sir? I don’t understand the confusion. Who else would it be?”

Tony, completely startled, began to take in his surroundings. He was sitting at a desk in a rather large workshop/garage. Expensive equipment was set up in the messy way that only made sense to Tony, a set of stairs lead to the rest of the mansion above, gorgeous sports cars were lined up against a wall of windows overlooking a wonderful view of the ocean.

It was Malibu. It was familiar. It was home.

“Holy shit,” Tony couldn’t help the huge grin that spread across his face in the revelation. There was one question that needed to be asked though, “J, this is going to sound odd, but can you give me the time and date?”

“It’s 9am,1st of May, 2008,” promptly replied JARVIS, “Miss Potts notified me to remind you that you have the flight to Afghanistan to partake in this afternoon.”

“To present the Jericho missile, right?”

“Yes, sir.”

Tony gave a harsh laugh, “Yeah, buddy, not gonna happen. No fucking way. Here’s what we’re going to do instead-”

“But, Sir-”

“Get in contact with SHIELD and alert them to Uncle Obie’s hit order on my life. Hack his computer and phone, grab all the evidence you can. Then, alert the media to a press conference, Stark Industries will not be making weapons from here on out.”

“Sir,are you high again? Did Miss Everheart slip something in your drink that I can’t detect?”

“No buddy. Let’s just say....the future isn’t going to save itself. Are you with me?”

“With you, Sir? Always. Even if you’re not making any sense.”

“Love you too, J.”

#tony stark #infinity stones #Avengers infinity war #infinty war #jarvis #soul stone

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anautisticdragon-blog · 6 years

Photo

Marvel vs. DC

I've wanted to write this one for a while, but I'm going to sum it up before I begin: DC does diversity and social issues better than Marvel could manage in its wettest, wildest dreams.

That's going to annoy fans. So let's even include my personal bias, just as a disclaimer: I'm really not fond of Marvel's lack of continuity, nor am I a fan of Bendis.

With Morrison's New X-Men, Grant looked at the problems which plagued the X-Men and how every time the books would just go back to telling the same stories. He wanted to unshackle these books from that curse, and he set up the means to do precisely that.

He weaved everything together so masterfully, Corporation X, the second mutant boom, the much needed nod to how mutants aren't all just these beautiful poster models, et cetera. Honestly, how can you stand for the downtrodden if you come across as the one per cent?

Being an X-Man must've had an amazing dental, physical, and mental health plan. No one dared to even be anything less than a perfect icon of the status quo, it was basically what Magneto always wanted. It was really quite difficult to distinguish between what separated him from Xavier.

Grant fixed that. Mutants could be less than beautiful and that was okay, mutants didn't always need to have MacGuffin powers and that was okay too. Then, at the very end, he edited the Marvel Universe to remove mutant prejudice.

That's wild.

It's the end goal of everything they'd just been striving for since the '80s, and the reason they had been locked in this neverending cycle. Now the X-Men could tell new stories. Stories about how it was okay to be interesting, diverse, and not just a living god. It was incredible, I had more hope for the X-Men at that point than I ever had.

Marvel retconned it with the very next issue. Prejudice returns, everyone is beautiful again, and every gift Grant gave them was generally pissed over. Marvel hates continuity. They're so wantonly, gaggingly desperate to tell exactly the same stories over and over and over again.

One of the worst casualties of it all was Beast. Before Morrison, Beast was nothing more than a one-dimensional, Silver Age character. Grant gave him a third-dimension, a dichotomy. Certainly, it was a bit of an old trope (Grant loves those), and yet he used it to give Hank McCoy depth he'd never had in all his years as an X-Man.

Bendis took that away. No more feline Beast for us, no more dichotomy, no more third-dimension. Hank is just a Silver Age airhead again.

Marvel is basically Groundhog Day. This is their problem and I promise you this will all tie together and go somewhere. This Groundhog Day syndrome is at the root of all of Marvel's problems, and why DC are trouncing them right now on every story-telling front.

So, they did it with Iron Man, too.

Tony Stark was always weirdly technophobic for what could only be described as a self-made transhumanist. In the Marvel Cinematic Universe, you can see him operating on himself to give himself upgrades. Not in the comics.

Warren Ellis was the first to set out to fix this -- Extremis. Extremis was pretty okay. I'd say it was definitely a step in the right direction, but Tony still had this technophobic edge to his personality that caused dissonance in anyone who had any minor level of familiarity with technology.

Tony seemed oddly unfamiliar with the tech he'd supposedly been building. Had it turned out that -- in fact -- Tony was just a pretty face, and the real tinkerer and putterer was hiding in his shadow? That would've been interesting!

They didn't go that way, though. So they had to cure Tony of his technophobia. From Extremis we moved onto Matt Fraction's run where Tony really learned to trust technology; In fact, it proved to be more reliable and faithful to him than people did. His distrust moved away from technology to authority, government, and powerful figures like the Mandarin. This provided a strong focus, it provided the reader with reasons.

It reminds me of Mark Waid and Eobard Thawne. Eobard, the Reverse Flash, was just a two-bit Silver Age airhead of a villain. Just evil because evil, no more to it than that. Waid fleshed him out by having him become an obsessive stalker, a crazed fan whose vision of Barry Allen was so idealised that the real Barry couldn't live up to it.

This gave Eobard Thawne a reason to be Barry's villain. Similarly, Tony's newfound distrust of very powerful people and authority gave him a reason to distrust a self-styled, preening, entitled figure like The Mandarin. A character who fancifully imagined himself as an emperor.

It also allowed Tony to explore technology and realise that he wanted to spend more time simply working on it and helping to create heroes to combat men like The Mandarin than showboating hismelf. It set up the scene for both Rhodey and Pepper to replace him as Iron Corps.

Continuity! Evolution! A bold new di--RETCON! Now Tony's a technophobe again who was starkly (heh) terrified of his old technology and went back to sticks, rocks, and showboating because that's what Tony does at Marvel.

And this brings me to why I dislike Marvel. You might've heard that their editors actually blamed their push for diversity for their waning sales. It couldn't have anything to do with this Groundhog Day syndrome of theirs. No, no no no. Of course not. It has to be diversity, right?

Well, no. And, weirdly, yes? You see, their attitude toward diversity is inauthentic. It isn't genuine. I think everyone's catching on. That black kid who's going to be Iron Man? That's Cat Beast, you see? Soon to be replaced by technophobic Tony, completing the cycle.

The new Lady Thor? Cat Beast. Falcon as Captain America? Cat Beast. It'll all revert. It's because they don't actually have any passion behind it. Why did Falcon become Captain America? Oh, he and Steve Rogers had an argument and now he's wearing Captain America's uniform because reasons.

Then he got Cat Beast'd, now he's Falcon again. Steve Rogers is Captain America again. Groundhog Day, everyone! It's Groundhog Day!

Lady Thor? Lady Thor is there because... Um, er, other realities? Reasons? No one really knows, but everyone knows that it's a gimmick. It's not really intended to stick. She'll get Cat Beast'd, and ultimately replaced by Man Thor again.

I mentioned the Iron Corps, right?

This is because of how DC handled things with the Green Lantern Corps. The best example I've seen yet of HOW YOU DO THIS RIGHT.

Hal Jordan? He's being a space cowboy. John Stewart? He's leading the Green Lantern Corps. Your old favourite lantern? Heavily featured in the Green Lantern Corps. New, young, diversified lanterns? Meet Cruz and Baz!

DC does do it wrong, occasionally. I feel like what they did with Barry and Wally was just a massive clusterfuck. That Barry is still present as the League's only speedster is depressing, it's very much contrary to the Lantern Corps and it feels a little Marvel-y, to be honest. It's all about the editorial staff pushing their tastes.

So DC isn't perfect. No. Are they doing almost everything better, regardless? Heck yes! Do you care about social issues? Check out Green Arrow, Batgirl & the Bird of Prey. Do you want diverse characters? Cyborg, Blue Beetle, New Super-Man and many others have you covered. Do you long for nuanced stories that cover a character's life outside of being a hero? Superman has you covered. Do you want old-fashioned superhero comics? Action Comics, Justice League, and Detective Comics have your back.

DC is inclusive. And... AND AND AND... DC never, ever Groundhog Days. If DC does something? Then it sticks. This is why I respect them so god damned much. Even if it's begrudgingly, sometimes. You know? They deserve it, they really do.

The New 52 was a failure, they knew that. So, what's to be done about that? Reboot it and just forget it ever happened? No! Do something really clever and make all continuity matter, forever! That's what DC had done up until the New 52, so it's not that unexpected, but it is refreshing.

They could've been cowardly and just set the clock back to a pre-52 state. They did actually have some pieces in place for that (Waverider, Pandora, et al). Instead, they did something much, much more compelling. They made it all matter. So any new characters they'd introduced and fleshed out? They got to stay, along with the old stable!

And that's why DC will always be better than Marvel. I mean, you know, along with the fact that I don't think that DC has featured nearly as much snuff porn and women getting kicked in the vagina as Marvel has given us (thanks, Bendis). So that's also a feather in DC's cap.

Plus, when a woman is empowered in DC comics, it doesn't just feel like a silly, colourful, 'this is my l'il Universe which is separate from everything else' gimmick (looking at you, Squirrel Girl, sorry). They really are there, in the prime reality, and working to make a difference.

Batgirl & the Birds of Prey is better than just about anything that Marvel has done in its long history. So we're back to being inclusive, can I talk about that some more? Young readers? You've got young, experimental comics with the Young Animal and Wildstorm imprints. Gay audience? You're covered, too! Especially notable, here? Apollo & Midnighter.

When DC does it, it feels authentic, real, and genuine. They put a lot of heart into the story, to set things up. It's a long, drawn out process of handing over the mantle or switching focus. Sure, they screw up occasionally but for the most part they get that right.

It's not BOOP DIVERSITY GIMMICK, which is very much Marvel's schtick. It's why no one is satisfied with Marvel, not even an old, haggard "SJW" like me. I see Marvel's insensitive, tacky gimmicks for what they really are.

If Marvel cared to understand how to do this even remotely right? Apollo & Midnighter, Batgirl & the Birds of Prey, Shade the Changing Girl, New Super-Man, and... Doctor Endless.

Oh. My. God. Doctor Endless. Here's why I'm inspired to write this. It's not just a tacky BOOP DIVERSITY GIMMICK thing, it's not a magical one issue replacement of an existing character. They put in the effort to create new characters that people would care about, it shows DC cares.

Marvel, by comparison, feels like a soulless corporate machine. They're doing diversity not because it's ethical, or inclusive, or it makes people feel good, but rather because they think they're widening the net to sell more of their hugely overpriced comics.

If you replace five existing characters with LGBTQ versions BECAUSE REASONS (without any actual reasons) in a one issue span? It's meaningless. It’s insulting. It doesn't carry any weight or gravitas. It's hard for people to get behind that as their new hero because it all just happened so suddenly that it feels like a trick, they're feeling like Marvel will tug the rug out from under them the moment those characters lose popularity. They'll be gone as suddenly as they appeared.

Inauthenticity, a lack of genuineness, and just an air of being con men. Along with an inability to ever change, evolve, or grow. This is what I think of Marvel as being, now. Like I said, they had some really obvious chances with X-Men and Iron Man to grow. They could've launched off of Matt Fraction's stories to set up an Iron Man Corps, it would've been glorious. They could've had a number of Iron heroes, each with their own fleshed out story which is separate from Stark's own. No tackiness or gimmicks needed.

And you know Marvel is going to just Cat Beast every diverse character. Give it a couple of years and no one will ever remember any of these people they invented over a one issue span, no one will remember that Falcon was Captain America because it happened and it was gone again so quickly that it was forgettable.

It's Groundhog Day, everyone! A really gimmicky, shady Groundhog Day!

There are actually a lot of characters like that throughout Marvel's history, who've either been forgotten or have lost most of their development due to Marvel's love of the reset button. DC only flirted with the reset button once and it almost doomed them. They learned from that.

So now that Doctor Endless is here, they're now here to stay. They're always going to be in the DC Universe. Everything is. Grant fucking Morrison is in the DC Universe as The Writer or somesuch. Yankee goddamn Poodle and Captain Carrot are still present. I LOVE IT.

With Rebirth, DC has made a stand. They're not going to use the reset button to fix the time they -- thanks to some poor judgement -- flirted with the reset button. They're leaving that thing well, well alone.

So while Squirrel Girl enjoys a short stint of popularity as one of Marvel's gimmicks (and this kills me because I adore Ryan North and love his writing), off in her own Universe? Black Canary exists in the Green Arrow, Birds of Prey, and Justice League of America books being generally just the most kick-ass woman ever.

I used to be such a Marvel fan, it's funny. It's just that I began to notice their over-reliance on that bloody reset button back in the '80s. It got boring by the '90s and I was fed up of it. Morrison's X-Men and Fraction's Iron Man gave me some, infinitesimal glimmer of hope, but...

I watched DC continue to grow, grow, and grow. I mean, I'd always had some love for DC thanks to the DCAU and the Justice League, but I was iffy about the comics because they took away one of my favourite characters as a gimmicky stunt (and that felt like a very Marvel thing to do). With Rebirth? I couldn't stand it any more.

I can forgive DC for its one, flawed, gimmicky stunt. The horrible, egregious error that was the New 52. I forgive you, DC. It's okay. It really is okay. You've done everything to make up for it.

However, Marvel is doing reboot after gimmicky reboot all the time. GROUNDHOG DAY, EVERYONE! All of those new first issues, and nothing ever, ever changes. It's just a new issue one to tell exactly the same stories, just with a shiny, new gimmick! And when diversity and social issues are their shiny, new gimmick? I feel especially dirty.

DC is as authentic as Marvel is just a soulless, corporate beast who's only in it for the money. Yeah, sure, DC is a company, too. Owned by Warner Bros and definitely also in it for that money, but it feels different. You can tell by reading the comics, it really feels genuine.

If DC has a book featuring women? It'll often be written (and sometimes drawn) by women. If DC has a comic book featuring minorities? It'll often be written (and sometimes drawn) by those same minorities. This is really obvious with New Super-Man, Batgirl & the Birds of Prey, and so, so, so many others. It really shows.

And there are just too many honest-to-god genuine things going on at DC -- for those who pay attention -- for me to think it's all just a bunch of clever ploys to draw in the money. There's too much effort. If you're just doing it for the money, you do it like Marvel, and you'll succeed all the more. Marvel is simply better at making money than DC comics has ever been.

Sorry, DC.

But DC comics puts out some damn good comics. And they're trying. It's not gimmicks, they are trying and I can tell. I love them for trying.

You need only look at Doctor Endless to fully understand why DC are trying, whereas Marvel is just taking the piss (and your money).

It genuinely reminds me of the Nostalgiasaurus Parx thing I was talking about, recently. Where it turns out that the tyrannosaur had feathers and scales, it wasn't merely scaly as has been incorrectly reported so frequently of late. When people heard it really might've been a Nostalgiasaurus Parx, though, instead of a Tyrannosaurus Rex? Well, it was like their football team had won, or something. Fireworks, celebrations, people crying in the streets, riots. Crazy shit.

I guess that some of us want to preserve the status quo no matter what, right? Some just want to uphold that, keep it steady, no matter how much jury-rigging they have to do, no matter how much Don Quixote-esque self-delusionary nonsense they have to engage in just to keep the world as this overly simple construct that they already knew everything about.

Others? Well... I imagine that this is a scale, where it kind of slides and it has extremes. But on the other end of this sliding scale? I imagine that people will become more open-minded, they'll actually want a constant evolution of change borne out of an ever growing understanding. They can accept that the world is changing around them. There are likely traits and quirks that get swapped between and around to dictate where on this scale a person sits, but that's how ultimately it seems to be.

It also, quite interestingly, ties back into the toxic ideals of perfection that some people have and how problematic they are. And the importance of valuing being humble and understanding diversity instead of just upholding the status quo as some kind of holy default state that must never, ever be questioned.

Marvel kind of does the status quo thing. Yeah, they have gimmicks, and tomorrow it'll be a new gimmick, but they're doing the same kinds of stories they always have. Miles Morales comes along and could serve as the Spidey on the Streets role that people enjoy, allowing Peter to slip into the background as an older person and enjoy a family life, perhaps even take on a team leadership role. Growth, yo! But, no... Peter's still a small-time bank robbery solvin' sort of guy. Which makes Miles Morales utterly redundant, since that's what they brought him in to do.

So Morales was a gimmick. Peter being a teacher, then Peter being a CEO? Gimmicks. Nothing will stick. Ultimately, Peter's always going to be dealing with gang bangers and hoods. He's always going to be stuck at that frozen point in history, never to evolve, grow, or change. And that's Marvel.

Which is... why I prefer DC, and that's that, I guess?

#marvel comics #dc comics #doctor endless #genderfluid #rant

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