A distant memory, a reel from my future
You're everywhere I find you.
Your blood-stained lips utter words into mine as they find themselves etched onto my mind
You colour me with colours you feel and the sounds you see,
And wondered why people said love was hard.
You saw forever crashing down on you and held me closer, whispering promises into the empty space between us.
The harbour lights and stars seemed all the same to you, empty and incandescent,
Brimming with emotions left behind by unsaid words and unfinished promises.
You said you found me among all those reveries, broken and new, and felt infinity.
You found forever in my bloody hands, and took me to the graveyard beneath the stars,
And painted me into the shadows to immortalize my spirit,
As your sins found their way into mine, intertwining soul and spirit.
You sat between my legs on the kitchen counter and held me a little too tight,
And saw the tides meet the orange sky, feeling magic once again.
You wished to become one among the graveyard of stars, and wanted me by your side,
So pushing me below the tides outside our window felt like love to you.
Ephemeral and clandestine, our love shined a bit too bright,
Love, if that's what you call it, seemed a bit too easy.
Tell me darling, was me not walking bloody on shards of your insecurities not enough for you?
Was it not enough I found you among those harbour lights and felt infinity too?
Did the forever you found in my hands not keep you happy? Or the shadows I dived into were too dull for you?
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It's 4 am, going on 5, and I'm kind of just laying in my bed thinking. So, some of the things I've thought about so far:
Also, trigger warnings before you read: Mentions of cancer, speculations on the after life, mentions of death, honestly this includes lots of science-based thoughts so just in case, also negativity a bit. Not super bad but it depends on your response to just existential thoughts I suppose.
You start out as a liquid, end up as a solid. If this is a kind of ‘mind blown’ thing on the internet, (and it probably is) then I’m sorry this is basically not new to you. I just thought it was funny that I randomly thought about it.
Having the power of self-regeneration makes you more susceptible to cancer. If you don’t know, cancer is essentially the uncontrollable and unregulated production of various cells in the body. So because a person who has the ability to heal and regrow is already prone to reproducing cells rapidly, it means its far more likely that they are capable of experiencing a higher mutation rate and thus can have their cells cluster together forming tumors. I can’t help but think of this as a good limiter to that power. You have the power to regenerate cells far faster than any human being, but using this power can have severe consequences to your body, and can potentially cause cancer in what you regenerate.
I hate the fact that evil villains' with computers don’t more often have epic gaming set ups. You know, LED flashing keyboard with an epic LED glow tower. For once I want a diabolical evil mastermind to really be just a super spiteful and pessimistic gamer who just decided to be an agent of chaos.
The fact that no one has ever had an original thought. Seriously. I’m not making that up. No one has ever had a single thought completely original because all of our ideas are just electrical impulses in various patterns to be decoded. Our ideas are just feedback from what we interpret and therefore, we as animals are only capable of response and recollection.
The fact that economics and the sociology are way more philosophical and applicable to everyday life than they should be. Like, I’ve had this thought a while ago, but in economics there’s this idea of paradox of value, in which what is rare is seen as valuable even if it has no practical use in society. But apply that to people, and suddenly what you see as value may or may not have a practical use, but it makes you think of why you like that thing. Just sitting down and thinking about why I love family so much, but others don’t even if they experienced the same childhood I did just kind of makes me a lot more aware of how different I actually am.
This one is pretty common, but still a random thought. I will wake up one day, and it will be the last time I wake up. I might not even wake up. Just the idea that I will go to bed, wake up (possibly not even wake up), and that will be the end of my physical and possible mental existence. That’s a crazy thought. And yet even thinking about that, the only question that really comes to my mind is, “What will be the last anime I ever watch? The last videogame?” And it seems strange to think about that but I think the reason I feel that way is just because those things bring me so much joy I can’t imagine being incapable of enjoying them. I’ve imagined death my entire life, but imagining a life without what I’ve enjoyed my life with suddenly is so foreign.
Adding on to the last thought, there will come a day where I wake up and never see my friends again. Or, in vice, there will come a day where my friends wake up and never see me again. What will my last words to them be? If I pass away, do I feel like they’ll be ok? When I imagine the idea of death, it’s strange. Because I don’t find myself as fearful of the loss of my life as I do the guilt of leaving my friends. Strangely that's just scary to me.
There is no such thing as originality. This one is pretty much the same idea of no one has ever had and original thought. Logically, our entire lives our surroundings and capabilities influence our personalities. No one is genuinely unique because everything influences you to be the same. And I think a big fault is that we see that as a bad thing when it doesn’t have to be. Every experience builds us to be who we are. Even our birth, whether on the street or a sanitized hospital, influences us. And so every person we meet we carry apart of them with us. The good and the bad. And I think about this when I think about death. Because when you loose someone you love so dearly, you feel as though you are lost without that person. And maybe a small part of you is. But if it brings you any comfort you know that you were apart of their life. For better, and for worse. And regardless of how big of a part or how good of the effect, you were a person who made them the way they in the same way they made the person you are.
Ok this is pretty long so one finally thought. As people, as animals, our emotions are nothing but self generated hormones. Our body, our minds, regulate how we feel, even if we have no reason to feel that way. And some are much more in control than others. So never feel as though your emotions are invalid. Because they aren’t. And in the same way they aren’t invalid, let it know they aren’t a battle. I know to some people it seems as though our minds are a warzone, but in actually they’re more like a conversation to me. Intrapersonal communication in which you just kind of talk to yourself and work through it all. As I said, we as humans only know response and recollection. Every aspect of our mind is designed to recollect, store, decode, and encode. And because of that, we can feel so many different things because its all about how we respond. Sit and have a chat with yourself. “Why do I feel this way?” Remind yourself why its valid to think to yourself, to enjoy whatever it is that brings you value, how every idea isn’t original and so you don’t have to be original. The world is all about perspective. How you see life. And I think that a lot of people assume being a realist means you have to be a pessimist. And you don’t. Because being a realist is just looking at what is real. What is possible. And really, because of that its just looking at all the facts. What makes you respond sadly. What makes you respond happily. Why you might respond those ways.
Just random thoughts.
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Lolol after watching u struggle with the Leon screenshots I'm almost afraid to ask, but how about top 5 Chris screenshots?
lmao well Chris is easier :'D because for Leon the main problem is re4 and the fact that I'm ridiculously obsessed with how damn pretty he is in that game so it's... hard. and it would've been even harder if I'd taken Damnation and Vendetta into consideration which I... didn't. and I will also ignore the existence of Vendetta when it comes to Chris lmao.
also I don't have any screenshots from re8, sadly. so no hunky dilf!Chris for me.
oh, and i only chose ones where Chris is the focus, although there are some rly good ones with him and Leon or Jake or Piers or so. but this is about Chris.
SO YES CHRISSY BOY
also honorable mentions? honorable mentions.
these are just him being really pretty
this one i absolutely love but it didn't make top5 bc chris isn't super visible in it
and c'mon the panda has to be mentioned
also, lastly, his slightly weird orgasm face :'D
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Fukurōdani Current Concerns
Akaashi Keiji: "I want my physical power level a bit higher."
(serious baby go brrr)
Bokuto Kōtarō: "...How do you spell 'concern'?"
(My poor baby awww)
Komi Haruki: He doesn't get time to take a nap after lunch.
(guys he's my height :D also that's a very serious concern my dude)
Konoha Akinori: He's started to get the feeling that if you look at Bokuto's stupidity from a slightly different angle it's actually kinda genius and that pisses him off.
(did he lie tho. Bokuto got that smart stupid :3)
Onaga Wataru: Some of his classmates call him Omonaga-kun (long face-kun) in genuine error.
(don't you hate when people make their own version of your name?)
Sarukui Yamato: He's been told to stop smiling when he's not actually smiling at all.
(he looks sneaky)
Washio Tatsuki : A child he'd just met took one look at him and started to cry.
(aw he's so sweet tho.)
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