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#oh so guess who's writing sappy road trip songs
snackzimmerman · 3 years
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It's a fight like anything they've had before, but Dex ends it by saying you're not my boyfriend, and Nursey ends it by saying nothing at all.
For something so very off the table for so many reasons, it's a contested thought in his brain. The words Dex and hockey have become synonymous, and somehow love has been roped in as well. Maybe that was what happened to Bitty and Jack - first you find your team, then you find your heart, because your passion is so intrinsic with that person.
Or maybe Nursey is a hopeless poet.
There's a sad song blaring, and he takes a minute before recognizing the playlist as his own. Or rather, one Holster slipped onto his phone before he left, claiming it's gotten me through some tough times, brah, and Ransom had retorted it's forced me through memorizing Adele.
Then it ends, and because Spotify has a cruel sense of humor, an ad starts playing. The woman advertising her podcast has a lot to say about love. Nursey wishes he has nothing to say on the matter at all.
An otherwise innocuous argument: Nursey had commented on how much Dex hasn't been around the Haus, even though he's captain now, and so kind of should be there for at least the freshmen if not his own best friends. Dex snipes back about how maybe Nursey should step it up, if he can’t even deal with things when Dex isn’t around, which had hit kind of too close to home. And then they’re yelling about some things that don’t matter and some that do, and a few emotional landmines are triggered -
And then Dex says that.
And Nursey replies yeah, I’m just the guy that’s in love with you, except he says it after Dex has slammed the door and gone, except that he doesn’t, because it turns out he didn’t go far at all.
What? Dex demands, shoving the door back open, and Nursey screams like a small child and locks himself in the bathroom over huffing and c’mon, Nursey, open the door.
Absolutely not, Nursey replies. You have to tell me when you’re going for the dramatic leaning-against-the-closed-door teen drama shot. It’s in the bylaws.
No, it’s not, Dex says, far more patient that he’s ever been - but that’s not true, is it? He’s managed his temper, and tempered his attitude. He’s been helping the freshmen and running the team and talking to coaches and doing everything except what Nursey selfishly wants him to do, which is stay close by at all times.
Nursey bites his lip, doesn’t bite his tongue. It should be.
You’re not my boyfriend, Dex repeats, and Nursey shoves the palm of his hand against his chest.
Thanks, Will, he calls sarcastically, letting his head thunk back against the mirror. Water leaks into his jeans from spillage on the sink.
You’re not my boyfriend, Dex says again, stubborn till the end, more sure. So could you get out here and let me ask if you’d like to be?
Nursey thinks maybe the cold of the leftover water has sent him into shock, but that maybe he doesn’t care, and then his fingers are fumbling with the lock before the anxious part of his brain can come up with hundreds of reasons why it’s fake, and Dex has his hands over his eyes like that can protect him from two hundred pounds of feelings.
Yeah? he gulps.
Dex straightens up and runs a hand through his hair. I’m gonna have to take you on a date first, I think that’s how it works, I’ve never - not like this.
Well, sure, Nursey sniffs. I’m not easy, Dex.
I’m well aware. Dex rolls his eyes, and Nursey shoves him in indignation, and mentally pencils them in for Annie’s.
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sinnergetreadymp3 · 3 years
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CHAMERON FIC CHAMERON FIC CHAMERON FIC
Uhhhhh I feel like I should give this a title but I have no idea what to call so uh, nevermind !!
Anyways,I finally finished the fic I said I was writing like,a month ago lol. All my Chameron stans out there this one's for u,I rlly hope at least one person enjoys this,I rlly enjoyed writing it !! Ok sappy stuff outta the way,here it is:
As rain pounded against the window Charlie sent what was probably the thousandth crumpled ball of paper across the room.
"Jesus Charlie,is your arm not getting tired?"
Charlie smirked at that, clearly preparing to make a dirty minded joke,but a thoroughly exhausted Richard Cameron was already one step ahead.
"You know what,forget I asked, you're gross."
Getting up from the seat at his desk and ignoring an indignant retort from Charlie, Cameron thought of the rest of his friends,out for the weekend. Todd and Neil celebrating their one year anniversary, Meeks and Pitts embarking on a two day road trip,for what they still claimed to be, entirely platonic reasons (although the rest of the poets were all too aware of the almost palpable romantic tension between them). Even Knox had found something to do with himself on this miserable Friday night.
And here Cameron was,stuck in his dorm with nothing but stacks of extra homework and his obnoxious roommate to keep him company.
Speaking of that obnoxious roommate, "Oh come on Cam,you're not seriously going to bed already,it's barely eight!"
"Shut up Dalton,I'm tired."
Refusing to admit defeat, Charlie sprung from his own bed into Cameron's, attempting to wrestle the poor boy from his comfortable position.
"Charlie,get off you psycho!" Cameron managed to get out, already laughter threatening to give away just how welcome his friend's childish antics were.
After a few more minutes of "fooling around" as Charlie insisted on calling it (mostly because of how profusely it made Cameron blush),the two boys lay breathless beside each other,trying desperately to think of something else to do that would ward off impending boredom.
After a few moments of comfortable silence,Charlie suggested,looking expectantly towards the ginger, "Wanna go to the cave?"
With extreme,mind numbing boredom as motivation, it was inevitable that Cameron would say yes. It certainly helped that Charlie was gazing at him with those oh-so convincing doe eyes of his. Charlie Dalton and his stupid,gorgeous eyes. And his stupid,gorgeous smile,which Cameron was abso definitely not thinking about as he got up and grabbed his coat.
The two boys trudged through the woods,bickering lightly when Cameron complained of the cold that Charlie apparently couldnt feel at all,but always with an unusually friendly air between them. Before long they were sat together in the middle of the cave,sharing an apple that Cameron had managed to salvage from somewhere (a feat Dalton was of course impressed by),and trading stories of girls and parties galore. In Cameron's case, the stories of girls were few and the parties were from years long before even middle school,so Charlie did most of the talking.
After a while though,the boys came to discussing their friends,and the luck they all seemed to have in finding each other so easily. Charlie, ever the romantic,made no waste of his extensive vocabulary,tediously lamenting on all the opportunities of love he had missed and the everlasting loneliness he was doomed to,all because his dashing knight in shining armour would never come to find him and-
"Why dont *you* just find somebody?"
Charlie,still sprawled dramatically over a rock ,and mildly offended at the interruption,indignantly questioned "What do you mean?"
"What I said? You dont just have to wait around for somebody to come find you and fall madly in love. Why don't *you* just find somebody?"
He thought for a moment,taken aback by the ginger's harsh words,but eventually decided to humout him for a moment.
"And where exactly do you suggest I find him then, hm?"
Cameron shifted in his seat,not expecting to be taken seriously and certainly not prepared to be giving advice. Especially not *this* kind of advice. Especially not to *charlie*.
"Well,uh," he looked up to see the other boy looking at him expectantly,with that ever-present smirk on his face that, oddly enough,made Cameron feel a little more comfortable.
"Maybe,you could,I don't know, consider that the guy you're looking for has been here the whole time?"
"Wow Cam,Pittsie and Meeks' radio must've really gotten to you. All those love songs have turned you into a big softie." Charlie joked,grinning and nudging Cameron playfully.
Through a soft laugh,Cameron continued, "No I'm serious man,I think you're making this whole love thing way harder for yourself. I mean- and be honest with me, what's actually wrong with the guys at our school?"
"Other than the fact that about three quarters of them are raging heterosexuals?"
Laughing again,Cameron replied "yeah,other than that."
After about zero seconds of careful consideration,he had come to a conclusion, "Well,I guess nothing,but I dont know? Cameron, I don't see how this changes-"
"It *changes* things because clearly you don't anything about half the guys at our school. And you can't write off people you don't even know." At some point, Cameron had gotten up and started pacing around,but with the end of this triumphant speech,he finally sat down,a little closer to the other boy than he had been before.
Charlie looked across at Cameron and was suddenly met with a wave of fondness. Weird,how all it took was to sit and talk for a while before someone you thought you near hated,started to feel like your favorite person in the world. And,was he going completely crazy or Cameron at his most comfortable, without the fear of a teacher lurking nearby,without the stress of constantly trying to prove himself,was he... A little..... attractive??
All at once,Charlie made a decision,partly to try and prove himself wrong,but also because hey,if Richard Cameron was the surprise love of his life,what better time to figure it out than right now?
"So how,sir Richard Cameron,do you propose I get to know all these charming suitors?"
Cameron, completely in the dark about Dalton's recent epiphany,was still stubbornly trying to explain how much easier Charlie's love life could be,if only he would let it.
"Well,maybe by actually talking to them? Y'know,kind of like,What we're doing right now."
"So,what you're saying is,*you* could be my knight in shining armor," he said with a smirk.
"Well,that's not what-"
"No,no it's fine,as long as we're talking about this version of you. Regular Cameron is kind of a buzzkill but Cave Cam is actually a kind of.... And I can't believe I'm saying this but,in here,like this...well. You're actually a little hot."
After this, overwhelmingly romantic confession, Charlie was certain he had completely stuffed it,and sure enough,
"Gee Charlie,thanks. Really makes me wanna ride into the sunset with you." To say Cam's ego had been hit was an understatement,but before he could make a swift exit from the cave and lock himself,alone,in his dorm for the rest of the weekend,of course Dalton kept talking.
"God,I'm sorry,that was, I have no idea why I said that. I thought I was being funny but out loud- god I'm so sorry," while he had initially been mad,seeing Charlie fucking Dalton blush (and because of *him* no less) was rather funny. And sure,a little cute. So Cameron decided to hear him out.
"Can I start over? You're not saying anything so I'm gonna start over. I,uh, I really do think you're hot. Like really hot. And not just right now,all the time,like that time we were at rowing practice and I started pushing you around and we ended up on the floor and I saw like,a single sliver of skin because your sweater had ridden up,and I couldn't stop thinking about it all day,which I thought was a little weird but then-"
"Uh,I think I get it,Charlie." Now Cameron was the one blushing.
"Uh,sorry. What I meant was,that I *do* think you're hot l-"
"As you've said"
"Yeah,yeah,but it's more than that. Like,when I realized we'd basically be spending the whole weekend alone together,I was actually sorta excited for that,even though I knew I'd just be sitting by you while you did homework the whole time,I like,wanted to do that. And tonight,I haven't talked like this with anyone who isn't Neil like,ever. What I mean is,I guess,is that,I think that uh,"
Deciding to lighten the mood,Cameron tried for a little sarcasm, "Wow,Dalton, stuttering? I must be superman or something."
"I'm trying to be romantic here Carrot top," Charlie said with a grin,
"Listen,I don't really know what I'm doing here,but I think it might be kinda nice if we tried having a little romantic weekend of our own. Just to try it. If it totally sucks we can pretend it never happened and the others don't have to know about it and-"
"Charlie."
"Yeah?"
"Relax," Cameron said with yet another laugh ,he didn't think he laughed like this since... Well,he couldn't even remember.
So with a radiant smile on his face,he said,"A romantic weekend of our own sounds amazing. Gotta warn you tho I'm not a great kisser."
"Well, lucky for you I am a great teacher," Charlie replied,with a somehow even bigger smile on his face than Cameron's,
"Why are you laughing,I *am* a great teacher!" Unfortunately for Charlie,his indignance only made Cameron laugh harder.
"I'll believe that when I see it."
"If you shut up and stop laughing,maybe you'll get to." After this was all it took to get the ginger to sober up, the look on his face pushed Charlie to make his final,but (in his opinion) most important decision of the night.It was high time he flirt with Cameron way more often (which was *very* difficult to explain to the other poets,at least the first time).
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purplesurveys · 4 years
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698
3 words that describe...
Your personality: (A bit) aloof, sensitive, and shy.
Your friends: Loud, laidback, cheeky.
Your family: Emotionally distant, (mostly) religious. I’m cheating so much on this looooool.
Your life: Right now? Put on hold. Thanks, coronavirus.
Your current mood: Hungry, and irritated eyes.
Your dreams/goals in life: Ok three words will be too short for this so I’ll just enumerate three whole phrases: I’d like to have a job that pays well, get a house that doesn’t have to be huge, but it has to come with features I’ve always wanted like cove lights and a yard for the kids and dog to play in, and get settled.
Your partner/boyfriend/girlfriend (if you have one): Funny, intelligent, courageous.
The person you last talked to: Brave, considerate, responsible.
The room that you are currently in: Comfortable, well-lit, homey.
The world in your perspective: Many stupid humans.
Yes/No questions...
Are you creative? Absolutely not. I like doing the logical/rational side of things... I let others take care of creative aspects, if they have to be present.
Do you like spending a sunny day outdoors? NO, unless I’m at the beach then sunny is the only way to go. Otherwise I’d rather be indoors or somewhere air-conditioned thx.
Do you get upset easily or over the littlest things? I can be. It’s usually when I’m already stressed/antsy enough, or if I’m on my period.
Do you dislike any of the people in charge of you (i.e: teachers, bosses)? I don’t particularly dislike my prof in my Rizal course but he sure teaches like he doesn’t want to be there. I just haven’t been getting the enthusiasm off of him, and that’s really important to me when it comes to being interested in my subjects. Oh but my PE coach this sem is a bitch - one time I forgot to wear the shirt color she demands us to follow and she ignored me for the entire period. Quickest way to make me feel shitty. So yeah. Probably her.
Do you like to read books/magazines/newspapers? I like books only if they’re non-fiction. I...don’t really read magazines anymore, and I kinda have to check into newspapers from time to time because I take up journalism.
Are you family-oriented? Towards my girlfriend’s family, yeah. I don’t really care about being family-oriented for my own.
Have you ever been friends with someone in the past out of sympathy? Yeah, this girl named MJ in Grade 7. She was a new-ish student then and no one was approaching her, so Gab and I tried to befriend her for a time. Didn’t really pan out that well - we just didn’t mesh - so we stopped talking not long after.
Do/did you ever get nervous around people you are/were crushing on? I still do.
Do you believe in global warming? Duh.
Are you happy with the way society/the world in general is? I’m typically pessimistic when it comes to people, so no not really. I just feel like the bad news always overweigh the good these days - and while good news can serve as rays of sunshine sometimes, I’d rather face reality than live in my own bubble and choose to be oblivious to all the shitstorms happening around me.
Do you ever question your own religion/beliefs? I did, as early as when I was 10. The Bible just didn’t make sense to me to my frustration, and I’ve always felt disgusted with my school guilt-tripping us to be good people because a man got crowned with thorns and nailed to a giant cross. I figured I can be good simply because I choose to, so I let go of my Catholic roots quickly after. Having no friends that time surely forced me to think hahahahahahaha jk 1/2
This/That...
Do you prefer today's trends/styles, or ones from the past? Both have awesome stuff, there’s no need to pick. I’m really into the mom jeans of the 90s, but I also like the yellow trend that’s been going on recently.
Being too cold or too hot? I’d rather be shivering but be comforted with a thick blanket, than sweat bullets and have absolutely no way to cool myself down.
Uploading music to your iPod, or buying CDs? Depends. I used to buy the CDs of my favorite artists then just download the other music I’m not as passionate about.
Fruits or vegitables? VEGETABLESSSSSSSSSSSS. I hate fruits.
Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate, for the most part. Vanilla tastes like nothing to me. Baseball or football? I don’t watch either and I probably won’t enjoy either either lmao, but I have a bias towards football because my girlfriend’s sisters play the sport. The mall with a bunch of little stores, or one single, big store? Malls kinda work differently here... they’re all one big building with a bunch of restaurants, clothing shops, sports shops, novelty stores, etc. Rap music or rock and roll? Not a big fan of either but I’d go with rock and roll I guess. I like some rap but none of them make me feel things, which rock can sometimes do for me. Roller skates or roller blades? I owned a pair of roller blades when I was 10 and had fun memories with it even though I never did learn how to do it properly. Horror movies that give you nightmares, or romance that makes you vomit? Horror for sure. I don’t even like romance-only movies; they have to be laced with a lot of comedy in between for me to enjoy them. Making more friends or making more money? Making more money sorry LMAOOOOOO Living it up and being stupid, or being safe and never pay the price? I’d always rather be safe. I hate getting reprimanded or caught doing something bad or being punished. Doing more of the talking, or more of the listening in a conversation? Listening, please. I don’t like having the attention on me for too long. Giving or receiving? Giving I guess? I always have a pretty good sense of what my loved ones need, and it’s always nice to see how good they feel when I give it to them. Cats or dogs? Dogs. Playing on the swingsets or the slides (as a kid)? Swings. I was traumatized by one slide when I was 6 because it was apparently blistering hot when I slid down from it, and it almost burned my butt off lmao.
Would you rather...
Bolding these because I’m lazy.
Live off of just food for 2 days, or just beverage for 2 days?
Tell a lie and be believable, or tell the truth and still be blamed?
Die at 65 with the love of your life, or live to 85 being single?
Fart and be heard from far away or fart and be smelled from far away?
Be tickled for an hour straight or be woken up by a bucket of cold water?
Have a cabel snap while bunjee jumping or have the bar go up on a coaster?
Have a deadly plague or a nuclear bomb hit your country? (Don't get ideas!) < This is a sick question to ask these days lol. I’m not answering.
Lick a frozen telephone pole or stick your hand in dry ice? Be rejected by your favorite celebrity or by someone you secretly admire? Give up your favorite food for eternity or eat a bowl of dead spiders? Make a lot of money at a job you hate or little money at a job you love? Jump off a bridge or from a moving car? < Another sick question.
Favorites...
Color(s): Pink, sky blue, off-white.
Song(s): I don’t have one at the moment. I haven’t listened to any music in a while, save for lo-fi.
Artist(s): Beyoncé if we’re talking solo, Paramore if you mean bands.
Music genre: I don’t have a favorite one; my taste is pretty scattered.
Movie: Two for the Road or Good Will Hunting
TV show: Breaking Bad, Friends, BoJack Horseman, Queer Eye
Actor and actress: Gregory Peck; Audrey Hepburn or Kristen Stewart
Movie/TV genre: Romantic comedy or drama lmao, I’m a sappy bitch. Suspense and psychological horror are also cool.
Restarant: Yabu, Mendokoro Ramenba, or Silantro
Food: Sushi
Dessert: Macarons
Hobby: Going to museums! Or reading about the history of anything.
Activity to do out of boredom: Scroll my social media feeds orrrrrr do surveys, or watch cooking videos on YouTube heh.
Type of weather: Bleak, rainy, and chilly.
Book: I don’t have a favorite.
Subject in school: History
Item that you own: My car hahahaha
Pastime: Eating out and window shopping. Maybe I’m just saying these because I haven’t been to a mall in a while :/
Site: Palawan
Tourist attraction: I’ve always wanted to go to those towers that lets you go to the top floor and the floor is just literal glass. If I’m gonna be a tourist-y tourist, that’s the first place I’d go to haha.
Random questions in your own words...
If you could have any desired superpower, what would it be?
The history nerd in me would take up time travel in an instant. And I won’t even be using it as a superpower lmao, it’d be like a research pastime for me.
What would be your dream job?
If I wasn’t such an introvert and if I were a lot better in handling crowds, I really would have wanted to be a pro wrestler.
Descibe your dream date:
Museum in the day, cute dinner at night.
What was the best day of your life like?
I don’t know if that has happened yet.
What was the worst day of your life like?
So far my worst day was when I wasn’t accepted into my school paper in high school and I spent like 18 hours crying my eyes out. I liked writing and was accepted for my portfolio, but people thought I was too shy to fit the group’s dynamic and ended up getting booted. There are quiet writers too, assholes.
If you ever have kids one day, what you you name them?
Too early for this lol I’ve only had name picked out - Olivia.
What's one thing that will bring you out of your worst mood no matter what?
My dog. FOR SURE.
Who's the most annoying person you've ever encountered?
Jem, someone from my college who thinks she’s close with me but I really do not like her at all.
If you could grow up to be like anybody, who would it be?
I don’t believe in having role models. I just want to be the best version of myself.
If you could change something about yourself, what would it be?
My mental health could be mental healthier.
What's your favorite inspirational/famous quote? I don’t depend on these either. Describe your dream ice cream sundae (unlimited toppings): Meh, I don’t like sundaes. Just scoops would be fine with me. What comes to mind first when you think of your favorite color? I have no idea why this is what I remember, but it was the day I went shopping for school supplies and got myself a pink clipboard, pink pencil case, pink expander, and pink highlighters. I think it’s because it was that day where I had to acknowledge that pink was in fact, unironically, my favorite color HAHAHA What's something in your life that you once hated but came to like? ^ The color pink. And chicken curry. What's something in your life that you once liked but came to hate? Cooked salmon. There was one phase my mom made it almost everyday and I just got sick of it. I refuse to eat salmon to this day unless it’s sashimi or in sushi. If you could stop any chaos/problem in our world today, what would it be? This fucking pandemic. 2020 CAN’T CONTINUE BECAUSE OF YOU. What would be the best way to die, in your opinion? Peacefully, in sleep, with no pain. What would be the worst way to die? Falling off a cliff (or anywhere high) and landing on a boulder EUGH I cringe at it. Also getting impaled. AND plane crashes. If you could give your room a free makeover, what would you do to it? I’d make it look spacier by moving the bed to the wall so there’s a lot of free space in the middle. I’d also add a desk, work chair, and a lamp so I can study there. If you could have an unlimited amount of anything, what would it be? The number of years my dog would live. What's one thing that you like that would probably surprise your friends? They know I like punk rock in general but I haven’t shared any of the music with them. It would definitely surprise them. Out of everything in the world, what holds the most meaning to you? Stability.
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tswiftandtsn · 5 years
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TSN x Lover Album Breakdown
So I see Lover as the album about Mark & Eduardo finally making up honestly, ala The Social Network 2, while also touching upon what happened in The Social Network
I Forgot That You Existed - Eduardo @ Mark after he got his fucking money
(HOW MANY DAYS DID I SPEND THINKING HOW YOU DID ME WRONG (EDUARDO) I FORGOT THAT YOU EXISTED AND I THOUGHT THAT IT WOULD KILL ME BUT IT DIDN’T (EDUARDO), IT ISN’T LOVE IT ISN’T HATE IT’S JUST INDIFFERENCE (BOTH OF THEM)  Got out some popcorn as soon as my rep started going down, down, down, laughed on the school yard, as soon as I tripped up and hit the ground, ground, ground, and I would've stuck around for ya, would've fought the whole town, so yeah, would've been right there, front row, even if nobody came to your show (THE CHICKEN INCIDENT) But you showed who you are, then one magical night (DILUTION), 
Cruel Summer - Okay but like that was a cruel summer, but this is like the anthem for when Mark & Eduardo first got back in touch like
(Devils roll the dice (Mark), Angels roll their eyes (Eduardo), WHAT DOESN’T KILL ME MAKES ME WANT YOU MORE, I'm always waiting for you just to cut to the bone (EDUARDO TO MARK),  And if I bleed, you'll be the last to know (EDUARDO TO MARK),  I'm drunk in the back of the car, and I cried like a baby coming home from the bar, said I'm fine, but it wasn't true (EDUARDO TO MARK) I don’t want to keep secrets just to keep you (MARK TO EDUARDO),  And I screamed for whatever it's worth "I love you," ain't that the worst thing you ever heard? (LITERALLY, BOTH OF THEM WOULD SAY THIS DUMB ASS SHIT), HE LOOKS SO PRETTY LIKE THE DEVIL (AGAIN BOTH OF THEM WOULD SAY THIS ABOUT THE OTHER)
Lover: LIKE WE’RE IN LOVE AND ONE DAY WE’LL GET MARRIED MARKWARDO WE HAPPY AGAIN
THE MAN: WOULD BE MARK
I WOULD BE COMPLEX, I WOULD BE COOL (MARK), I’D BE A FEARLESS LEADER, I’D BE THE ALPHA TYPE, WHEN EVERYONE BELIEVE’S YOU WHAT’S THAT LIKE (MARK), I’M SO SICK OF RUNNING AS FAST AS I CAN (MARK), AND I’M SO SICK OF THEM COMING AT ME AGAIN (MARK AND ALL HIS FUCKING LAWSUITS), THEY’D SAY I HUSTLED PUT IN THE WORK, THEY WOULDN’T SHAKE THEIR HEADS AND QUESTION HOW MUCH OF THIS I DESERVE. WHAT I WAS WEARING IF I WAS RUDE. COULD I BE SEPERATED FROM MY GOOD IDEAS AND POWER MOVES (OKAY BUT LIKE THIS WAS MARK DREAMING OF HIM ENDING UP ON TOP LIKE FUCKING WHAT HE WAS WEARING AND IF HE WAS RUDE)
THE ARCHER: SAD AND SCARED MARKWARDO more in depth version on my blog
I THINK HE KNOWS: THIS IS THIRSTY MARK 
I think he knows, His hands around a cold glass, Make me wanna know that, body like it's mine (Mark),  He got that boyish look that I like in a man, I am an architect, I'm drawing up the plans, It's like I'm 17, nobody understands (MARK, EDUARDO THE SWEET LOOKING BRAZILIAN AND HE IS THE ARCHITECT OF FACEBOOK),  Wanna see what's under that attitude  (Eduardo’s attitude),  I'll make myself at home, and he'll want me to stay, I think he knows, he better lock it down, or I won't stick around (EDUARDO: MARK BETTER PROPOSE SOON OR I’LL SMASH ANOTHER LAPTOP),  Lyrical smile, indigo eyes, hand on my thigh (Mark’s indigo eyes!)
Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince: MARKWARDO SAPPY SADNESS
I counted days, I counted miles to see you there, to see you there, it's been a long time coming (SINGAPORE IS FAR AND THEY SHOULDA BEEN TOGETHER A LONG TIME AGO),  It's you and me, that's my whole world They whisper in the hallway, "She's a bad, bad girl" The whole school is rolling fake dice (MARK AND EDUARDO AGAINST THE WORLD, MARK IS A BAD BAD GIRL),  My team is losing, battered and bruising, I see the high fives between the bad guys, Leave with my head hung, you are the only one Who seems to care (FUCK THE WINKLEVII),  and I don't want you to (Go), I don't really wanna (Fight) Cause nobody's gonna (Win), I think you should come home (EDUARDO MOVE TO PALO ALTO PLEASSEEEE)
Paper Rings:
The moon is high like your friends were the night that we first met (DUSTIN WAS FUCKING HIGH THE NIGHT THEY FIRST MET),  Went home and tried to stalk you on the internet (MARK ENERGY),  Like the shoulder that I gave you in the street, Cat and mouse for a month or two or three, Now I wake up in the night and watch you breathe (WHEN EDUARDO FIRST DIDN’T WANT TO MAKE UP WITH MARK),  Kiss me once 'cause you know I had a long night (Oh) Kiss me twice 'cause it's gonna be alright (Uh) Three times 'cause I've waited my whole life (JUST YES), I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings (MARK ENERGY HE LIKES SHINY ELECTRONICS AND MARRYING HIM WITH PAPER RINGS IS HIS ENERGY),  Darling, you're the one I want, and I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this (MARK AND EDUARDO YESSSS),  In the winter, in the icy outdoor pool, when you jumped in first, I went in too (PALO ALTO GOTS POOLS, ZIPLINE SCENE) I'm with you even if it makes me blue which takes me back to the color that we painted your brother's wall (MARK IS COLOR BLIND ALL HE CAN SEE IS BLUE, EDUARDO HAS A BROTHER 0.0) Honey, without all the exes, fights, and flaws we wouldn't be standing here so proud (THEY STRONGER NOW),  I want to drive away with you, I want your complications too, I want your dreary Mondays, Wrap your arms around me, baby boy (EDUARDO ENERGY IN FIX IT FIC)
CORNELIA STREET
I rent a place on Cornelia Street (MARK’S PLACE IN PALO ALTO),  We were a fresh page on the desk, filling in the blanks as we go (THEY STARTED OVER),  And I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends, I'd never walk Cornelia Street again (YEAH),  And baby, I get mystified by how this city screams your name (PALO ALTO SCREAMS MARK’S NAME) And baby, I'm so terrified of if you ever walk away (MARK TO EDUARDO),  Jacket 'round my shoulders is yours  (SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECHING THE NORTH FACE JACKET),  We bless the rains on Cornelia Street (RAIN IN PALO ALTO HAS TO BE BLESSED CAUSE IT HAS PREVIOUSLY BEEN EVIL),  Back when we were card sharks, playing games I thought you were leading me on, I packed my bags, left Cornelia Street, Before you even knew I was gone (EDUARDO)  But then you called, showed your hand I turned around before I hit the tunnel  (MARK SHOWED HIS HAND AND <3),  I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends (MARK AND EDUARDO),  That's the kinda heartbreak time could never mend (MARK AND EDUARDO),  Sacred new beginnings That became my religion, listen (THEY WATCHED IT BEGIN AGAIN)
DEATH BY A THOUSAND CUTS: THE DILUTION SONG
Saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts, Flashbacks waking me up I get drunk, but it's not enough ’Cause the morning comes and you're not my baby (EDUARDO),  I look through the windows of this love, even though we boarded them up (STILL CAN’T HELP BUT WATCHING ONE ANOTHER),  'Cause I can’t pretend it's okay when it's not it's death by a thousand cuts   (EDUARDO),  I dress to kill my time, I take the long way home, I ask the traffic lights if it'll be alright, They say, "I don't know" And what once was ours is no one's now I see you everywhere, the only thing we share Is this small town (EDUARDO AND MARK IN THE SAME CITY DURING THE DEPOSITIONS),  You said it was a great love, one for the ages but if the story's over, why am I still writing pages? (THE STORY AIN’T OVER YET THE SOCIAL NETWORK 2),  My heart, my hips, my body, my love, tryna find a part of me that you didn't touch gave up on me like I was a bad drug (MARK DITCHED HIM LIKE A BAD DRUG AND TOUCHED HIM EVERYWHERE),  Our songs, our films, united, we stand Our country, guess it was a lawless land Why are my fears at the touch of your hands? Paper cut stains from my paper-thin plans My time, my wine, my spirit, my trust Tryna find a part of me you didn't take up Gave you so much, but it wasn't enough But I'll be alright, it's just a thousand cuts (FACEBOOK WAS THEIR COUNTRY IT WAS A LAWLESS LAND, MARK’S HANDS, EDUARDO’S TRUST, HE TOOK SO MUCH AND EDUARDO GAVE SO MUCH AND IT WASN’T ENOUGH, THERE WERE SO MANY CUTS)
LONDON BOY:
But something happened, I heard him laughing I saw the dimples first  (MARK’S FUCKING DIMPLES),  And then I heard the accent, they say home is where the heart is, but that's not where mine lives (MARK HEART EDUARDO’S ACCENT AND HE’S IN SINGAPORE NOW :’( )  He likes my American smile, like a child when our eyes meet (EDUARDO LIKES MARK’S AMERICAN SMILE LIKE A CHILD WHEN THEIR EYES MEET), 
SOON YOU’LL GET BETTER:
I know delusion when I see it in the mirror (EDUARDO),  I just pretend it isn't real I'll paint the kitchen neon, I'll brighten up the sky (EDUARDO),  Soon, you'll get better, You'll get better soon, cause you have to (EDUARDO TO HIMSELF),  But who am I supposed to talk to? What am I supposed to do. If there's no you? (EDUARDO THINKING OF MARK),  This won't go back to normal, if it ever was It's been years of hoping, and I keep saying it because, cause I have to (EDUARDO YEARS AFTER THE DILUTION) 
FALSE GOD:
We were crazy to think, crazy to think that this could work remember how I said I'd die for you? (EDUARDO)  We were stupid to jump in the ocean separating us Remember how I’d lie to you? (MARK),  And I can't talk to you when you're like this, staring out the window like I’m not your favorite town I'm New York City, I'd still do it for you, babe (EDUARDO),  They all warned us about times like this They say the road gets hard and you get lost (YEAH BIG MARKWARDO VIBES),  When you're led by blind faith, blind faith (EARLY FACEBOOK DAYS),  But we might just get away with it, religion's in your lips, even if it's a false god We'd still worship, we might just get away with it, the altar is my hips even if it's a false god, we’d still worship this love (EDUARDO AND YEAH),  Hell is when I fight with you, but we can patch it up good, make confessions and we're begging for forgiveness (VERY THEM),  Daring you to leave me just so I can try and scare you (MARK)
YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN:
MARK AND EDUARDO’S FUCKING DRAMATICS SEE MY WHOLE BREAK DOWN OF IT ON MY BLOG
AFTERGLOW:
THE MARK APOLOGY
I blew things out of proportion, now you're blue, put you in jail for something you didn’t do, I pinned your hands behind your back, oh, thought I had reason to attack, but no (MARK DILUTING EDUARDO),  Fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves, chemistry 'til it blows up, 'til there’s no us Why'd I have to break what I love so much? It's on your face, and I'm to blame, I need to say (I MEAN EDUARDO’S FACE DURING THE DEPOSITIONS UGHHHH THIS MARK),  Hey, it's all me, in my head, I'm the one who burned us down, But it's not what I meant, Sorry that I hurt you I don't wanna do, I don’t wanna do this to you (Ooh) I don’t wanna lose, I don't wanna lose this with you (Ooh) I need to say, hey, it’s all me, just don't go Meet me in the afterglow (MARKS APOLOGY),  It's so excruciating to see you low just wanna lift you up and not let you go  (MARK TO EDUARDO),  I lived like an island, punished you in silence (MARK) Went off like sirens, just crying (EDUARDO),  Tell me that you're still mine, tell me that we'll be just fine, even when I lose my mind (LAPTOP SMASH MUCH)  I need to say Tell me that it's not my fault, Tell me that I'm all you want (EDUARDO TO MARK)  Even when I break your heart, I need to say, Hey It’s all me (Mark)
ME!:
They’re happy in their individuality now there’s a more in-depth look on my blog
It’s Nice to Have a Friend:
Lost my gloves, you give me one (Mark) "Wanna hang out?"(Eduardo) Yes, sounds like fun (Mark) Video games, you pass me a note  (What Kirkland fic doesn’t have them playing video games?) It's nice to have a friend (Best Friends),  You've been stressed out lately, yeah, me too, something gave you the nerve to touch my hand (Classic Markwardo fic move),  Call my bluff, call you "Babe" Have my back, yeah, every day, Feels like home, stay in bed the whole weekend (Mark)
Daylight:
My love was as cruel as the cities I lived in, everyone looked worse in the light There are so many lines that I've crossed unforgiven, I'll tell you the truth, but never goodbye (MARK ENERGY),  I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you, I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you I've been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night and now I see daylight (EDUARDO),  Luck of the draw only draws the unlucky and so I became the butt of the joke (EDUARDO ABOUT THE DILUTION),  I wounded the good and I trusted the wicked, clearing the air, I breathed in the smoke (Mark wounded Eduardo and trusted Sean, trying to make Facebook stronger he ended up hurting Eduardo),  Maybe you ran with the wolves and refused to settle down (Mark ran with the wolves (sean) and refused to settle down always working still),  Maybe I've stormed out of every single room in this town (Eduardo storming out of Facebook),  Threw out our cloaks and our daggers because it's morning now it's brighter now, now (They’ve resolved their issues now),  And I can still see it all (In my mind) (Their past is their past and it’s still there but they’re stronger),  All of you, all of me (Intertwined) I once believed love would be (Black and white) But it's golden (Golden) (Eduardo thought love should be simple and easy and no fighting) And I can still see it all (In my head), back and forth from New York (Eduardo having to fly back and forth, and them being apart) I once believed love would be (Burning red) But it's golden (Mark believed love was nothing but passion but he discovered it was more complex) You gotta step into the daylight and let it go, just let it go, let it go (They had to let go of their issues and focus on the fact they were meant for one another)
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frzntrx · 3 years
Text
Another FrozenTricks fanfic I just thought of,
Maybe part of another longer fic I’m writing about them, I haven’t decided yet,
Implied smut here, enjoy!!!
(Loki's POV)
The door slammed, startling Elsa and I out of the movie we had been watching on the tv with her little sister Anna and her husband Kristoff.
Anna had requested Titanic, Elsa had sighed
"Always the hopeless romantic huh baby sister?"
"Damn straight." She teased back, sticking her tongue out.
But it actually wasn't as sappy as I thought it would be...
Maybe because it was actually based on a real and very tragic event in earth's history, but it wasn't as stupid as I thought it would be,
Towards the end, when Rose was on the tiny door looking down at Jack helplessly, having not been strong enough to be able to pull him up, a single tear appeared on Elsa's cheek, and she laid her head on my shoulder,
I frowned,
I wasn't used to her losing her control like this... even as slight as it was now…
Usually she had a strong confident facade... I knew she had to because of what happened with her family... she almost killed her sister twice, but this was... new.
It was around this time the door banged against the door, effectively startling everybody in the room,
"BROTHER!!!! TONY STARK HAS DECIDED TO START A TRADITION FOR ALL OF US WHERE WE GO ON A BEACH VACATION TO BOND!!! PACK YOUR BAGS!!! WE'RE HEADED TO FLORIDA!!! ITS A ROAD TRIP!!!!!" Thor bellowed excitedly, I rolled my eyes.
"As if he'd invite me." I murmured,
"No no he did!" Thor said happily, my eyebrow raised,
"Why?"
"I told him me and Lady Elsa probably wouldn't go if he left you out!"
I rolled my eyes, there it was... it wasn't about inviting me... it was keeping others from ducking out.
"As much as I appreciate the gesture brother, I'd rather not... frost giants can't stand the heat, you know that..."
Elsa's eyebrow shot up,
"Lo you know I'm going right?"
I frowned,
"You're one too... why are you going?"
"Because it's an all expenses paid vacation and Anna and Kristoff were invited too by association so I figured what the hell, it's sister bonding time at least... a little warm weather won't kill me, it's the Florida keys Loki, the water will help I promise..." she said matter of factly.
I hesitated,
"I don't know..."
"Pleeeeease!!! When have I ever asked you for anything?!? You're my best friend!"
"Literally last week... you begged me to make you peppermint hot cocoa even though it's almost March because you didn’t feel like getting out of bed.”
"Oh come onnnn!!! Pleeeeease!" She pleaded,
"Pleeeeease!!!" Anna joined in,
"Oh not you too Anna... don't you dare." I groaned,
Then Elsa looked at me with those big pleading eyes, and I groaned,
"No... no no no you're not gonna get me with that... not again."
But she looked away, hurt, looking like a puppy that just got kicked, heartbroken and I sighed,
"You know what... fine... fine. But if we die from heatstroke it's you guys fault."
"YES!!!!" Elsa cheered, giving Anna a high five,
"ROAD TRIP!!!!"
____________________________________
We were almost there when I heard Elsa humming to a song that was playing on her iPhone.
"I hopped off the plane at LAX with a dream and my cardigan..."
Then Anna smirked and joined in,
"Welcome to the land of Fame Excess, am I gonna fit in?"
Then all the other ladies on our team started singing with them, and even Thor Kristoff, and Steve joined in, I rolled my eyes,
"I hopped in the cab here I am for the first time... look to my right and I see the Hollywood sign!
This is all so crazy!
Everybody seems so famous!!!"
I continued to ignore everybody else on the bus, reading,
"My tummy's turning and I'm feeling kinda homesick, too much pressure and I'm nervous!
But then the taxi man turns on the radio and the Jay-Z song was on!"
I looked up for a moment to see Elsa and Anna right in my face, the rest of the people in the bus dancing in their seats
"Oh my Norns... what...?" I laughed
"And the Jay-Z song was on
And the Jay-Z song was on!!!"
They paused, all looking at me expectingly, I sighed, giving up.
"So I put my hands up they're playing my song and the butterflies fly away!!!"
They all cheered and continued along with their almost scream singing
"Nodding my head like yeah!
Moving my hips like yeah!
Put my hands up they're playing my song and I know it's gonna be okay!
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah yeah!!!
It's a party in the USA!!!
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah yeah!!! "
"It's a party in the USA!!!!!" Elsa belted, and the others cheered and whooped and hollered.
Then the bus stopped,
"Okay guys we're here!" Banner called to the back.
Stark actually had managed to buy an entire private island somewhere in the Florida keys not far from key west, said it was going to be an biannual two weeks each spring break and summer vacation tradition, I had said that we're grown adults we don't have spring break or summer vacation anymore but he shushed me.
Everybody piled out of the bus.
Anna was the first to break the awed silence with a squeal of glee as she rushed excitedly to the little tiny house she and Kristoff would be staying in.
I rolled my eyes,
"So the lovebirds Anna and Kristoff obviously have their own little honeymoon-slash-love nest vacation cabana since they can't keep their hands off each other for literally a second or they'll burst into flames or something..."  I said,rolling my eyes and picking up my bags,
I expected to get a room to myself...
But stupid Stark had other ideas apparently.
"What do you mean Elsa and I have to share a room?!?" I shouted at Stark,
"You're both Frost giants? Nobody else wants to have to deal with the air conditioning turned up all the way all the time..."
That... actually made sense...
"But why not send her to stay with her sister? She loves her ice powers why not?"
"Because Anna thought that Elsa would feel awkward with them making out all the time," Stark said
I grimaced,
"Actually that makes sense... I wouldn't want to see my brother making out with his girlfriend who HAD to tag along either..." I sighed, glaring at Thor and Jane cuddling on a porch swing type thing on the beach, watching the sunrise.
It was sickening.
"Well... I guess if I had to share a room with anybody I'd rather it be her than any of you guys anyways no offense."
Banner huffed,
"How is that not offensive?"
"Because I'm sure you don't wanna see me all the time either?"
He frowned,
"Yeah I guess you're right... it would be kinda awkward having to sleep in the same room with some other guy... at least if it's not like a brother or a cousin or something..."
I sighed, This was going to be so awkward...
I wasn't expecting to share a room with anyone... I pretty much sleep in the nude in spring and summer because otherwise I'm burning up... being a frost giant and all...the temperature in America was a big change from Asgard or even Norway, so I didn't bring any pajamas...
If I had known...
I shook my head.
"Fine... I guess I'll just have to endure it..."
____________________________________
I pretty much passed out when I got all my stuff up to our room, Elsa had apparently beat me there because all her stuff was there, but she wasn't.
Which was a relief because I just wanted to take a nap... it was too damn early.
I was awoken at around 11 by the light being flicked on, and I was blinded, because I had closed the shades to block out any unnecessary heat.
"Okay OW!!!" I shouted, sitting up and rubbing my eyes,
"Oh my god Loki I'm so sorry! I didn't even know we were sharing a room I just came in here to change into my swimsuit! Like I had no idea where you even were!"
Oh... it was Elsa.
I sighed, covering my face with one arm, to block out the light until my eyes adjusted.
"Yeah... sorry... Stark said since we're both frost giants it'd be best... because otherwise whoever either of us roomed with would be freezing all the time." I finally removed my arm from in front of my face and saw her just standing in the doorway awkwardly.
"That... makes sense." She said, her cheeks slightly flushed,
"What?" I asked, confused She turned away,
"N-nothing."
Then I looked down, shit.
This looked really bad...
"Oh... uhh damn... I'm not nude I swear! I just took off my shirt because it's too damn hot here..." then she sighed in relief and turned back around.
"Okay good."
It was strange... she acted like... wait.
"Question..." I asked,
"Yeah?" She said,
But I hesitated,
"Nevermind... it's too awkward... you'll think I'm creepy or something."
"No no it's okay! You're my best friend!" She said cheerily smiling hugely.
I looked up at the ceiling to avoid looking at her face,
"How many men have you made love with?"
She was dead silent.
I looked back at her and she was flushed even deeper red now.
"You know what never mind I'm sorry I asked... that was out of line... it's just you were acting strange and I thought since we were friends it would be-"
"None."
I blinked,
"You're kidding...?"
"No... I was... waiting... for the right person... the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with...
But it's obviously not gonna happen now so... that's why."
I was genuinely curious now,
"You had feelings for someone?"
"Yeah... a long time ago... back when we were kids... I had a crush on this boy... I promised myself I'd wait until then... but obviously it didn't turn out that way so yeah..."
I thought for a moment...
It was just me and Thor that she and Anna hung out with  as far as I knew...
Of course she'd go for Thor... he was strong.. brave... handsome I supposed people would consider him handsome.
He was the kind of man every straight girl wanted.
Hell even some that weren't.
Nobody would go for a scholarly type beanpole like me.
To her I was like her slightly older brother...
Destined to be stuck as her best friend, forever...
I looked at her, in her turquoise bikini that was held together by just a knot tied in the back...
Damn... that was a pity...
I sighed, and sat up,
"So are you coming?" She said,
I raised one eyebrow,
"The sun is trying to light a fire and you're asking me to join you and the others to boil alive in the ocean?"
She laughed,
"No the others are having lunch at this seafood place by the beach, except Anna and Kristoff, they're out on a sailboat somewhere, so it'd be just you and me..."
Hmm... it was tempting... anything would be good to keep from burning alive to a crisp, and I was kind of bored being holed up in this hotel room all day.
But I was still agitated that she had a crush on Thor and never told me... I thought best friends were supposed to tell each other stuff like this?
You never told her you loved her, how's that for double standards, why should she tell you stuff like this when you won't even tell her? I thought,
Because I didn't wanna scare her off... shut up brain.
So I shook my head,
"No... I'm okay... I think I'll just read."
She shrugged,
"Suit yourself."
And then she was gone...
I shrugged and started reading this book I had packed that she had gotten me for Christmas last year of a giant encyclopedia type book of earth's natural history, she thought I'd find it interesting... and surprisingly she was right.
About 20 minutes later I get a text message from her...
I ignored it at first, assuming she was trying to beg me to join her again, but then my iPhone dinged again signaling another message had arrived and I groaned, turning over to open my phone.
Whoa...
It was a selfie, as midgardians called it...
But she was naked as the day she was born. It wasn't showing much, just her head neck and shoulders... but damn.
My hand covered my mouth in shock.
"Uhh..." I murmured,
Wrong person...? I texted back,
It was quiet for a moment, then...
You think so? 😘
No fucking way... now she was just messing with me.
Rude.  I texted back,
It's only rude if you didn't feel the same way... you wouldn't have asked earlier if you weren't curious... now get down here 😈
Damn. Caught red handed.
Thats mean...  and anyways I'm not up for some one night stand with my best friend okay... if you don't like me that way I'd rather not ruin what we have going on here thank you for the offer though. 😒
I hated to do that... but I wasn't up for heartbreak... I had dealt with enough of that to last two or three lifetimes.
Oh come on... you really think this is about a fling? You gotta give me a little more credit than That Lo...
I huffed,
I know who you were referring to when you said that earlier... and I'm not up for rebound I'm sorry.
I turned off the ringer, assuming that she would give up and I could finish reading the page I was on at least and then hop in the shower and maybe relive this ache in my-
But then immediately I get a text notification
Clearly you don't if you honestly think Thor is my type... you know me better than that... 😒
I was really annoyed now, why wouldn't she just stop... it almost hurt having to do the right thing for once in my life...
Then it's somebody else... either way I'm not interested...
I immediately got a text,
Its you you idiot... it's always been you... god for someone who's supposed to be so smart you really are clueless...
I dropped my phone in shock,
What...?
Then she sent another of those dirty selfies... this one actually showing a bit of her cleavage.
I was almost salivating.
Underneath it there was a text
Now that you've got Mr. Noble Prince Charming out of your system... you ready? 😏
I gulped,
This was really happening..,
oh my Norns...
my childhood self who silently worshiped the ground she walked on rejoiced.
Be right there 😘😈
"Oh Norns what do I do?!?" I hissed under my breath,
I mean I had made out and made love with girls before... and a couple guys along the way as well...
But my heart always came back to her...
She was my dream girl.
My mother would tell fairytales to Thor and I when we were children, and I always pictured her in my mind...
Obviously now that we were grown it was a LOT different... it was more than just pure innocent puppy love now...
Of course it wasn't as pure as it was when we were children.
Now carnal lust was involved too.
I groaned, disgusted with myself... she deserved better...
She deserved better than a villain, former or not.
But I wasn't going to pass this opportunity up either.
I had waited too damn long, and I had neglected my needs for too long over the past few years to turn back now.
So if she wanted me to be her first... she'd have me...
As long as she wanted me I'd stay with her.
I gulped, I was as giddy as a young boy again,
I stepped out of my shorts and into the blinding light outside.
0 notes
ims-monbebe · 6 years
Text
Just friends, right?
I finally finished my Hyungwon request for the anon! Thank you for requesting, I actually had so much fun writing this so enjoy ヾ(๑╹◡╹)ノ"💓
Requests are open so please keep requesting 😊
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You fumble through the clothes in your closet looking for a decent outfit to throw on. Moments before you were totally fucking up your closet that you had just organized the night before you got a text from your best friend, Chae Hyungwon demanding to hang out for the day.
"Y/N, you're in big trouble for never texting me!"
"Shut up Hyungwon, I text you every damn day."
"And your point is?"
"My point is you're annoying smh. What do you want?"
"Be ready by 1:30, I'm picking you up. That isn't a question. I'm picking you up Y/N."
So here you stand, in the middle of a chilly October day trying to color match your coat and scarf. The clock on your night stand reads 1:28, you groan as you know Hyungwon to be a very punctual person. Especially when he picks you up to hang out. You finally settle on your long white fall coat with a white scarf to match, throwing it over your black turtle neck. If you also knew Hyungwon like the back of your hand you knew he was just gonna take you to some hipster coffee shop somewhere downtown. You fold up your light colored jeans and throw on some white shoes too match. You settle on putting a beanie over your head because this turd basket only gave you ten minuets to get ready. You grab your hand bag and cellphone and sprint out your apartment. You're actually pretty excited because ever since Hyungwon debuted you never really see him as much. Him texting you today was a total surprise. As you're locking your door you feel your phone buzzing inside your back pocket.
"What?!" You shout as you put your keys away and begin walking down the stairs.
"Are you ready?" You hear your annoying best friend on the other end.
"I'm about to make my way to the front of the complex. I'm assuming your annoying ass is here?"
"I think you mean to say if my handsome manly self is already here?"
"Shut up."
You hang up the phone and open your apartment buildings gate. You're met by a smiley Hyungwon. "What are you smiling about?"
He laughs as he opens the passenger door to his car. "You're cute when you're angry. That's all."
You step into his car, laughing slightly to yourself. It was never weird when Hyungwon would call you cute or beautiful. He'd always try to let you know as much as he could that you were, and any guy would be lucky to be with you. If it were up to you, he'd be the one guy to be with you but you never found it in yourself to tell him your true feelings. You didn't wanna ruin whatever friendship you had because just being by his side someway or another was enough for you. But you always longed for him to be the one you could call home. "What are you thinking about Y/N?"
You look over to see Hyungwon glancing from the street to you. You let out a happy sigh "Oh nothing, just thinking about the delicious coffee you're gonna take me too."
He laughs but quickly shuts down your request for coffee. "Coffee is always good, but no. Today I'm taking you to do something else."
"Something else? Like what?"
"Okay don't laugh but I actually have something planned that I've been thinking about doing for a while. You'll see when we get there."
"This is out of character for you especially since you're lazy."
He laughs at your remark. "I know, I know. But I've seen that you've been stressed out with your exams and projects and stuff like that so I wanted to take your mind off collage for once. Even if it's just for a little bit."
Your heart flutters at the thought of Hyungwon actually putting thought and consideration into you and your activities. You look out the car window to see all the cars blurring by. "Thank you Hyungwon, for a always seeming to care about me."
"Remember when we were seven and you fell down the tree branch in my backyard when we were playing outside? And I swore from then on that I'd always protect you and not let anything bad happen to you?" He looks over at you slightly. "I guess I'm still connected to that promise Y/N."
You look away, the hallow of your cheeks hurting. "You're dumb, it's not like I need you protecting me."
He smiles at your shyness. "I know, but it's nice to have at least someone lean and can rely on me."
"Well I can always count on you."
He looks forward at the road. "Always." He looks at you and gives you a small smile. "Anyways, enough with this sappy shit.  Want to listen to music or something?" He hands you the aux cord to his radio. "We got quite a drive still and it would not be a fun mini road trip without singing terribly with you."
You grab the cord from his hand and plug it into your phone. "What do you wanna listen to?"
"Anything, as long as it isn't my group." He laughs.
"Speaking of them, where are the others at today?"
He shrugs. "I assume at the dorm. I don't know what they have planned for themselves today. I was happy to have a little free time with you. I know I don't see you as often these days, but I try to see you as much as I can."
"I know I know you're busy. But why are you wasting your free day on me?"
He shakes his index finger in a no motion. "Not waisting, privileged to be spending it with you. Come on Y/N, stop thinking about me constantly. Today is for you."
You go to your music library and start playing a song. You look over at Hyungwon, his eyebrows frowned in front of the road. "I know I can't be here for you constantly these days. But just know I always try to see you and be with you when I can. You're my best friend Y/N you know? You're one of the few people that matter to me the most."
"I know Hyungwon. I'm grateful for what you do for me in the limited time in your schedule. It's just hard because I miss you all the time."
"I miss you too Y/N. But let's not think about that and enjoy the time we have together today."
You nod as he hires the volume on his radio. "You're right. Thank you for spending today with me Hyungwon."
-
It's about an hour and a half or so later. You're met by the horizon in the distance towards the sky. You look out the window and are met by the waters of the ocean over taking the scenery. You smile big as you look over at Hyungwon, who to your surprise is smiling too. "You brought me to Wolmido island?"
"Yes! Remember after you watched our Right Now series and texted me how you wanted to go there someday with me? Well surprise! Do you like where we're gonna spend today?"
You only nod in excitement. "I can't believe you remembered that! That was like what two years ago?"
"I always remember the things you tell me." He trails off. "For whatever reason, they always stick in my brain."
You laugh as you put your hand on his shoulder gently squeezing it. "Thank you for today and thank you for thinking of me. Let's have a lot of fun together okay?"
He nods as he pulls into a line of cars, waiting to get inside and find parking. "Of course, that's what I'm here for I'm the king of fun."
"You're the king of lazy."
"Yes but being lazy is fun, therefore I'm still the king of it."
It takes a little time to pull into the parking lot and find a parking but once you guys do you jump out of the car with excitement. "Come on Hyungwon!" You're jumping up and down. "I wanna ride the rides!"
"Hold on Y/N I'm grabbing my wallet pipe the fuck down." He says as he finally steps out the car. "I found it, we can go now."
You guys walk to the board walk where all the rides are and stand in line to buy tickets for as many rides as humanly possible. Your body can't help but to itch with excitement. "Oh my god, Hyungwon we have to get on all of them!"
He laughs as you two take a step forward. "Of course! That's what we're here to do."
"Can I choose?"
He punches your arm slightly. "No! I brought you here, I'm not gonna let you choose all the ride fun!"
"No fair!" You whine. "I wanna go on some I want!" You look up at Hyungwon and pout your lips.
He rolls his eyes. "Fine, we'll take turns choosing and going on rides. You know I can't deny that pouty face."
"That's why I still use it."
He rolls his eyes again. "What ride do you want to go on? Or... do you want to get ice cream first?"
"Depends, can I get two scoops?"
"Y/N you could get five scoops and I wouldn't care." He says as he pays the fee  for the tickets to the rides.
"Ice cream it is then!" You stomp towards the nearest ice cream shop you could find.
"Do you know what flavors you want?" You look back at Hyungwon and see that his long legs have him caught up to you in two seconds.
"Hmmm, nothing fancy. Probably just vanilla and mint and chip."
You stick at your tongue. "You're so boring Hyungwon."
"Yeah yeah. What are you getting?"
"Hmmm... probably black cherry and I hope they have cotton candy."
"Ew, you're weird."
"You're weirder for being my friend."
"No." He points forward as you two keep walking. "Look there's an ice cream parlor right there." He starts walking faster. "Hurry up or you can kiss your five scoops goodbye!"
"Shut up!" You instantly walk faster. "I don't even think I can eat five scoops of ice cream!"
Hyungwon opens the door to the ice cream shop, allowing you to enter first. "Yes, but even if you can't you wouldn't even be able to see if you could try."
You guys walk inside and are instantly greeted. To your surprise there's no line. You and Hyungwon walk up to the counter and look at all the flavors displayed in front of you. You sigh as you discover there's no cotton candy flavor.
"You two ready?" The cashier asks.
"He could go first, I'm still deciding on what I want."
Hyungwon looks at you but begins to order anyways. "Can I get two scoops of mint and chip ice cream with a scoop of vanilla?"
The cashier nods. "Cup or cone?"
"Cup please."
"And for you miss?"
"Hmm let's see." You clap your hands together. "Can I just get a scoop of black cherry and strawberry in a cup please."
"No problem, is this together?"
Hyungwon nods as he steps to the cash register.
"That will be 9,000 won please."
Hyungwon grabs his wallet and hands over the money quickly.  The cashier pushes a button and hands him back his change. "Thank you, please enjoy."
Your thank you’s are harmonal as you find a table in the store to sit at. Once you sit down you begin to dig into your ice cream. Hyungwon takes a bite and instantly groans. You notice a few people walking in before he speaks. "I gotta use the restroom Y/N, I'll be right back."
You nod as you take a bite of your ice cream. You smile at the sweet taste as Hyungwon disappears to find the men's room.
After a few bites of your delicious sweet treat your eyes notice a pair of shoes. "Hey beautiful." You hear an unfamiliar voice.
You look up from your bowl and see a guy you've never seen before in your life. "Can I help you?" You ask anyways still unsure of his intentions.
"Why would your boyfriend leave such a pretty girl like you alone? You know anyone can scoop you up." He sits next you.
You shift in your seat uncomfortably. "H-he isn't my boyfriend. We're just friends."
The stranger smiles. "Even better, why don't you come with me yeah?"
"Sorry, I'm not interested in going with you."
The stranger grabs onto your arm and yanks you up. "I didn't ask if you wanted to come with me bitch you're gonna come with me!" He instantly begins to drag you away from the table.
You instantly begin pulling your arm back. "Hey get off me!" You plead but the dude isn't letting his grip up on you.
"Is there a problem here?" You hear the most familiar voice in your life.
The dude stops his actions, his hand still has a grip on your arm. "Oh look, it's just the friend. Do us a favor and mind your own damn business before you get hurt."
Hyungwon laughs. "She isn't interested in you dude. Let her go. You look pathetic trying to force girls to go with you."
"What did you say?" The guy let's go of your arm and instantly is face to face with Hyungwon.
"Did I stutter? I said you look fucking pathetic forcing girls to be around you. Do everyone a favor and leave. No one wants you here. You're just wasting quality space by allowing your presence to linger here." He grabs your arm and pulls you to his side, instantly shoving you behind him.
"Are you trying to pick a fight kid? I swear I'll beat the shit out of you and have you crying in front of this ugly bitch."
It was in the moment your body sensed something, you didn't have to see Hyungwon's face to feel the heat of anger rush off his body. Sure, say anything about him. Hyungwon can live with that. But anyone disrespect you in front of him? He couldn't have that, he couldn't live with himself letting someone get away with disrespecting you. This guy picked the wrong guy to mess with, he picked the one wrong thing to take a stab at. Hyungwon couldn't bare to hear such language used towards you. Ugly and a bitch? He knew those words weren't true. And he had to make sure that guy knew he wasn't going to get away with this.
In a matter of seconds you see Hyungwon's arm swing back, his knuckles instantly connecting with the strangers face. The echo of his hand colliding with his face bounces off the walls. You quickly step to the side and see the guy's body hit the floor. Hyungwon's body towers over him and he instantly grabs a hold of the collar of the guys on the floor shirt. His hand connects with his face another time. The mans who's name is still unknown has blood dripping down from his nose. You see Hyungwon's arm swing up again before it connects to the mans chin twice in a row. Your body shudders at what you're seeing. You've never seen such an angry Hyungwon. You've never seen the look in his eyes that you're seeing right now.
The look in his eyes are clear. If someone doesn't pull him off this guy, he's probably gonna kill him. Your body instantly moves to Hyungwon. You throw your arms over him before his hand could make another connection. "Enough!" You yell. "Hyungwon please, he gets it. Enough!"
Hyungwon immediately stops at the sound of your voice. He looks up at you and back to the man, his hand still on his shirt. He let's go of him after a moment of hesitating. He stands up quickly and gives him a last kick to his side. "Now get the fuck out of here before I change my mind."
The man instantly stands up and runs out the door. Hyungwon runs his hands over his face and starts fixing the tables that were messed up by his actions. He looks at the worker giving him a small bow. "I didn't mean for that to happen. Please forgive me. We'll be leaving too."
He grabs your hand and heads out the door before the worker could protest. He walks up the street without saying a word to you. After a few moments he stops in his tracks, his hand still around your own. "I'm sorry you had to see that Y/N."  He turns around. "I probably ruined today. And I'm upset at myself because I don't see you often, and this is how I give you one day together." He's now looking at his fist, blood stains and a tint of purple covers his skin.
"Y-you didn't ruin anything. Honestly, thank you for sticking up for me."
"Did you honestly think that I was gonna let that pig say those things about you and get away with it?" He shakes his head. "What kind of person would I be if I had let him? I'd be a disgrace of a man." His face is hard, but soft. He shakes his head and sighs. "I would never let anyone hurt you. Just know that okay?"
You nod. "I know. I know."
"What was worse is that he had the audacity to touch you! It made me sick to my stomach when he was trying to drag you away." He shakes his head. "It made me absolutely sick. Men like him don't deserve to live."
You stare at Hyungwon as he looks forward. "Hyungwon?"
His eyes meet yours, his face seems worn out as he's waiting to hear what you gotta say. You gulp. "Can we be honest for a moment?"
He stares at you and begins to slightly laugh. "What? Are you gonna tell me that you don't wanna see me anymore? I understand if you wouldn't want to."
You shake your head. "No, nothing like that. Nothing like that at all."
He continues to stare at you. He nibbles at his bottom lip while your eyes are still looking for an answer and a question to give. "Y/N... I think I got to be honest with you for a second."
You look at him confused. "Why do you gotta be honest with me?"
He laughs again, this time his laugh is a little mocking. "You really don't get it do you?"
"Get what Hyungwon? What don't I get?" Your hand reaches for his arm and he instantly pulls away.
"Nothing Y/N forget it. It's not worth explaining."
Your eyes find a home on the ground. You can feel that he's staring at you but you can't find it in you to look at him again. You close your eyes and feel the anxiety take over the pit of your stomach. "H-"
Your cut off by Hyungwon forcing your face to look at him. Before you could ask him what he was doing you feel his lips connecting onto your own. Your eyes widen in shock. What's happening? Can this be happening? You step back as he pulls away, shock still running throughout your body. "Are you okay?" You'd be lying if you didn't admit you didn't love it. Of course you did, you've been in love with this boy for as long as you could remember. But any wrong word could have him leaving from your life forever. And having Hyungwon by your side in anyway was more important than your feelings.
You see Hyungwon smile a soft smile. "Isn't it obvious stupid?"
"Isn't what obvious?"
"That I'm in love with you."
Your eyes widen. "Love in as friends?"
He shakes his head. "No, love as in I wanna be more than just your friend Y/N."
"When did you decide this?"
He shrugs. "Don't remember, I just remember always being in love with you. This growing feeling I have in my heart, it's always been there for you. I can't close my eyes and remember a day I didn't feel this love for you. And I can't close my eyes and picture another day of not holding you in my arms and knowing that your mine." He looks away from you as he continues to speak. "Y/N I've always been in love with you. I always have, and I probably always will till the day I take my last breath. I don't know what I can do to prove that to you. No one understands me the way you do. You've been there for me through all the break ups, all the training days I went through. You know me better then I know myself. If I want anyone to hold my heart in their hands forever, it's your hands I want Y/N."
You stare at him and he let's out a nervous laugh. "Please say something before I throw up." He pleads. "Anything."
You nod your head. "Hyungwon, I've been in love with you for as long as I can remember too. I just never told you anything because... I was so convinced that you could never love someone like me. I was scared that you'd reject my feelings. I don't know how to feel right now to know that you've always felt the same way that I do. But just know I'm happy." You smile up at him. "I can't form what I feel into words, but just know that I'm happy. It feels like a huge weight is lifted off my shoulders to finally be telling you I feel this way after 16 years. 16 long years of being your best friend have been amazing, but." You look up at him.
"But what Y/N?"
"But... I hope I can spend the next 16 years of my life being the woman you love."
He smiles slightly at your words. "You've already been that woman."
"Well you know what I mean." You wrap your arms around his torso and begin to rest your head on his chest. "Thank you for telling me all this. I'm happy to know you feel the same way. I love you Hyungwon."
"I love you too Y/N."
You look up at him to see his soft brown eyes melting at the sight of you. You lean up and kiss his cheek. "Now can we enjoy this day then as our official first date and go on some rides? I promise you we'll have a good time."
He kisses you back on your forehead. "That sounds good Y/N. Come on let's go!" He starts to drag you forward by your hand. "The sling shot looks a lot of fun!"
"Hyungwon!" You screech. "I don't like heights!"
He laughs as he keeps dragging you anyways. "Come on I won't let anything bad happen to you remember?"
You smile at him as your feet begin to move on their own. You know things were gonna be okay because as long as you had Hyungwon right there, everything was going to be okay. As long as you had each other everything was gonna be fine.
You look over at Hyungwon as he steps behind the last person in the line. He looks back at you and smiles once again. You smile back as your stomach starts to flutter.
As long as Chae Hyungwon was in your life one way or another, you'll be okay.
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cajunquandary · 7 years
Text
The Last Book on the Shelf
Characters: Reader Insert, Sam, Dean, Castiel and Crowley briefly mentioned
Word count: 1400
Warnings: Short and bittersweet; Flangst (Fluff and angst all mushed together), death
Summary: The reader has lived with the Winchesters for a few years when they finally get to take a real vacation together and go to the Gulf Coast. 
A/N: I wrote this for Bev’s Milestone Celebration with a gif and the prompt, “The waves rise and fall and crash in a gentle rhythm, and I can almost forget. I get to the lighthouse, turn around, and my footsteps are already gone. I like that. But there are certain things you can’t erase…” I couldn’t get the song “I Hope You’re the End of My Story” by the Pistol Annies out of my head while writing this so… Sorry! Thank you @chaos-and-the-calm67 for hosting this challenge. I never write in present tense, so this was truly a challenge! 
Loving a Winchester is more than a full time job. Loving two takes everything. It requires all of your motivation, dedication, and consideration. Don’t forget the pie. Don’t leave boots in the walkway. Keep the alcohol reserve as stocked as possible. Wash Baby gently with clockwise motions, not counter clockwise, and for the love of Chuck, never in straight lines. Always order extra fries, especially when getting milkshakes. Don’t tease Dean about his collection of tiny things—tiny alcohol bottles, tiny hotel soaps, tiny army men, tiny books, tiny baby socks, etc. Don’t dry Sam’s clothes in a machine, otherwise they shrink too much. It’s always okay to sing Zepplin in the shower—in fact, it’s practically an invitation. The only thing that comes out of these showers with the boys are soap fights and occasional slippery falls and bruises that last three weeks. Sometimes, someone ends up sleeping on the floor or in the Impala at motels. Dean tosses and turns, Sam snores really loud, and I yell in my sleep. No matter what, they tell me “you’re never alone.” I’ve learned that when you’re family and things get bad, really bad, it’s okay; even when there is rage and hurt there is forgiveness and love. From the day the boys welcomed me home to the day we all go home for that final time, nothing in this world could separate us.
Until now.
“I hope you’re the end of my story
I hope you’re as far as it goes
I hope you’re the last word I ever utter
It’s never your time to go”
I stand looking out over the Gulf, the wind seeming to flow right through me. Only about fifty yards to my left, Sam and Dean frolic in the waist-deep swell. It’s apparent that an argument has spurred an altercation—something to do with Dean, an angry crustacean, and Sam’s rear. I laugh until my belly shakes watching the two idjits trying to drown each other, my voice carried by the salty breeze toward shore. How nice it is to have a weekend to ourselves! I’ve lived with the boys for a few years now. Vacations really aren’t our thing, but after the last few hunts and close calls, we’d decided on some family time, at least for a day or two. It helps that the world is quiet right now—no monster activity as far as we can tell. I know when we return, there will probably be more cases than we can handle, but for now I try to enjoy the moment and the cold beer in the sand by my bare feet. The road’s been long and hard for us all. Sometimes, it’s hard for us to remember why we do this, risk everything for people who often don’t know or don’t care, but then something happens to remind us. This trip is more about a celebration that we are still here, still together, than it is a vacation. Or maybe that’s what vacation means? I never really understood the word anyway.
“Sometimes this road that we travel
Feels like it’s leading us on
And spinnin our wheels just stirs up the gravel
Before you know it, it’s gone”
I remember when I met the Winchesters a few years back. I’d just been attacked and my best friend killed by a werewolf when I called a coworker to come pick me up from the police station. My eyes were still pouring tears when the black car had rolled up, and I launched myself at the young man getting out of the vehicle before realizing that it wasn’t my colleague, but a kind stranger who happened to have just killed the beast in question. In fact, I didn’t notice whose arms I’d collapsed in until my blubbering calmed after about an hour or so. Surely Chuck played a hand in that debacle, probably with a trigger happy Cupid. Before any of us knew what happened, we couldn’t imagine this life apart.
“I hope you’re the end of my story
I hope you’re as far as it goes
I hope you’re the last word I ever utter
It’s never your time to go”
I like taking pictures of everything—the boys of course, but also the places we go, the people we save, and sometimes I catch a frame or two of a monster before we gank ‘em. Instead of a typical hunter’s journal, I keep a memory book of sorts. Or the Encyclopedia of Crazy as Dean likes to call it. Sam helps me with the written entries since my memory isn’t quite what it used to be (after so many concussions and mini-stroke.) Dean flips through it at night when he thinks everyone is asleep, sneaking it off of its place as the last book on the shelf in the library, eyes glued to the pages, sometimes laughing quietly or tearing up or both. Altogether, I like to see my book more as a memoir of us—even titled “The Adventures of Moose, Squirrel, Feathers, and Y/N/N,” with a special dedication to Pitchfork and entire sections for friends both here and on the other side. Even in just a few short years, the bindings strain with overabundance of entries and attachments, but perhaps the most important one of all is the letter I wrote for the boys after my first near-death experience working a case with them.
“I’ll keep on turning the pages
Oh what a story to tell
You’ll still be my sweetheart when everything ages
You’ll be the last book on the shelf”
It’s a silly, sad, sappy letter that I sometimes carry with me when we leave the safety of the bunker, just in case I don’t make it back. Out of habit, my hand moves to the pocket in my flannel the letter rests in, a frayed corner just sticking out of the top. Sam teased me earlier about wearing a long sleeve flannel shirt and bikini to the beach, how ridiculous I looked, but Dean had just smiled and slung his own shirt back over his shoulders, daring Sammy to chase him into the cool waves of the November currents. I’d been slower to join them at first, migraine morphing my sense of the world around me. For some time, the shells under my feet and roar of something grand and ancient filled my sensitive ears with comfort. I’m strolling along again, closing the distance between my feet and the lighthouse, the boys somewhere behind me now. The waves rise and fall and crash in a gentle rhythm, and I can almost forget. I get to the lighthouse, turn around, and my footsteps are already gone. I like that. But there are certain things you can’t erase, like loving a Winchester.
“I hope you’re the end of my story
I hope you’re as far as it goes
I hope you’re the last word I ever utter
It’s never your time to go”
I can feel the eyes of the waiting reaper on the back of my head as it peers down from the top of lighthouse. Sunset is almost over, casting long, dark shadows across the sand and my crumpled body in the distance. I’m so thankful that the Gulf is louder than the wails of Winchesters as they shake my empty body. The pain is gone, it left some time while I was remembering. I guess that’s what they mean when they say your life flashes before your eyes. And my reaper has some sort of humor for choosing a lighthouse. Walk into the liiiiight, right? I know it’s my time to go, peace is already filling my soul. I hope it’s a long time before I see a Winchester wherever I’m going, but before I go with my reaper, I do my best to project my voice through the veil.
“Dean… Sam… See you on the flipside, bitches.”
In the last light before I fade, I catch the boys looking all around, then to each other, as if they’d heard me loud and clear.
“I hope you’re the last words I ever utter
It’s never your time to go”
(Have some crychesters because I’m feeling sad and kinda evil)
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Text
Week #2: 400 Lux
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Oh, 400 Lux. It’s probably the best love song ever written, ever. What a song. It feels less like a song and more like a journey- a place you’re travelling to. And I’ll probably say this a lot during these song analysis write-ups, but 400 Lux is SO GOOD, so nostalgic. It’s no surprise that it’s a fan favorite, because it’s the only love song on the album (though A World Alone does mention some aspects of a relationship) and it’s just sounds so lush, so innocent. To me, 400 Lux perfectly captures the essence of teenage relationships- they’re lazy and sappy and exciting and also kind of stupid. In teenage relationships, no one is living together or paying bills or planning to get married, have kids, and retire. No one is thinking about that lame stuff right now- we’re only thinking about the weekend and making out and holding hands in the hallway. We know our relationships will probably end in some sort of way- maybe that’s what makes them so fun.   
400 Lux is so young and so naïve, it’s almost becomes ridiculous if you think too much about it. Lorde is singing to her boyfriend (we assume) about how much she loves to kill time with him, by riding shotgun in his car as they drive around their suburb. It’s about precious moments- those times when you stop and think if only I could feel this way forever. The song is as much about love as it is an ode to the suburbs of her hometown- she flawlessly seems these two things together.
Lorde mentions the drives she takes with her boyfriend James in a Rookie Magazine interview:
I’m quite solitary by nature, I guess. I don’t have heaps and heaps of friends. Often I can appreciate a place regardless of the people I’m sharing it with, which I know a lot of people can’t do, but for me…this is really personal, but James and I spent a lot of time, and still do spend a lot of time, driving around all over our city, and that for me was enlightening, because for once, the company that I’m keeping is affecting how I feel about these places, and in a positive way. I think that was kind of what drove me to write a lot of the stuff on Pure Heroine, because I really thought about where I was in conjunction with who I was in conjunction with who I was with.
This song will always take me back to those moments- riding in cars with boys I’ve loved while they bought me orange juice and we spent countless hours with each other doing absolutely nothing. This song is the epitome of first love, of crushes and laying around and being a teenager, learning about romantic relationships and what to do with all those feelings. And even though you know that high school love is a weird kind of love- a love that almost never lasts- there’s always a part of you saying “I’d like it if you stayed.”
Subject: Lorde is the speaker, as she is for the entire album. She speaks in first person point of view. She speaks in an innocent sort of way- always asking him permission to spend time with each other.
Occasion: Lorde is telling her boyfriend that she enjoys spending time with him, essentially wishing that these moments with him could last forever. All they seem to do, according to her, is waste time- but time is never really wasted if you're spending it with someone you love. The car rides she describes in the song are very repetitive, but they still have fun doing it.
Audience: Lorde talks directly to her boyfriend, referring to him using "you" pronouns. The interesting thing is that this is in stark contrast to her other songs, in which she is commonly talking to a larger group of people (her friends). 400 Lux is focused on one person only- it's not really intended for anyone else. James himself is probably the only person who really actually gets it.  
Purpose: There's two messages intertwined in this song- one is Lorde's description of the soft sort of friendship she has with James, and the other is her overall appreciation and awe of her city/suburbs (similar to "Team" and "Royals"). Lyrics like "I love these roads where the houses don't change" reveal these feelings. Many have also noted that 400 Lux is possibly the song that gives Pure Heroine a setting- it tells us where she is spending her teenage years- in the suburbs. 400 Lux essentially "sets the scene" and gives us a perspective of where Lorde is having the grand adventures described in the rest of the album.
Analysis
Most of the analysis of this song will focus on diction, syntax and ideas. Lorde begins:
We're never done with killing time
Can I kill it with you?
Till the veins run red and blue
We come around here all the time
Got a lot to not do, let me kill it with you
To start, Lorde’s use of antecedents is especially prominent here- the word “it” is used an antecedent to the word “time”. Antecedents are used to shorten things and make things less repetitive- had she not used the word “it”, she would’ve said the word “time” four times in the span of six lines. Using an antecedent makes things less wordy and repetitive, essentially condensing her thoughts in a simpler way.
The rhetorical question “Can I kill it with you?” is one that doesn’t necessarily even need to be asked- the answer is most definitely yes, as revealed by the rest of the song. This rhetorical question creates a sort of naïve and innocent tone from Lorde- she is asking permission to spend time with this person. This implies that their time together isn’t a given- Lorde still wants confirmation (and maybe even validation) that her presence is welcome in her partner’s life.
The next line “Till the veins run red and blue” doesn’t necessarily make a whole lot of sense- veins are only red and blue in biology textbooks. However, “blue veins” could refer to the way veins look when one dies- lacking air and basically having no function. Lorde may be saying hey why don’t we just hang out until we DIE which is also sort of unrealistic- again, how many teenage relationships actually last forever? We know that Lorde is aware that this relationship won’t last forever (as revealed by the bridge in “A World Alone”, which we will get to later) but maybe she is just putting those sad thoughts aside and focusing on the moment. She could be saying I know that this will end sometime in the future and that sucks because if I could, I’d stay here with you forever. This is a very teenager-like thought. We think we know exactly how we’ll feel in the future, even though people and thoughts inevitably change.
Another clever thing Lorde does here is rhyme “blue” with “you” and utilizing an ABBAB rhyme scheme. Her rhyme creates a nice flow and sort of connects her ideas together. She uses very “pretty” diction, which creates a nice cushion around the “you” pronouns.
“We come around here all the time” reveals that these drives happen often; they’re repetitive and even expected at this point. This also reveals that to her, it doesn’t matter what they do as long as they’re together. This line also brings back the word “time” but with a different meaning. The first line was about killing time, and the second line is about amount of times something is being done. She uses the word “time” in two different ways- the effect of this is that it emphasizing all the time they’re wasting together. By constantly repeating the word “time”, we understand that time is precious here, and that spending time together is something sacred and real.
The final line of this verse just sounds SO GOOD because she uses assonance to create a perfect rhyme scheme. “Got a lot to not do” has a flawless rhythm to it- it sort of has a bouncy “sound.” Got rhymes with lot which also rhymes with not- yet ANOTHER perfect ring of rhymes by this girl. “Got” “lot” and “not” all have the same exact sound to them- she places these words together because she’s a literal genius. The effect of this is that everything seems super connected- they’re killing time instead of doing the things they’re supposed to do. She acknowledges what needs to be done but pushes it aside a little. We have stuff to do, but I’d rather spend time with you.
“Let me kill it with you” is slightly different from the rhetorical question “Can I kill it with you?” She’s not asking him if she can spend time with him- she’s asking him to let her into his life. “Let me kill it with you” is more aggressive and dominating in tone- less naïve and passive than the beginning of the song. This shows that she gains confidence as she speaks more- at the end of the first verse, she is almost demanding to be with this person- possibly showing how much she loves riding around with him.
The pre-chorus:
You pick me up and take me home again
Head out the window again
We're hollow like the bottles that we drain
The story is evolving here- now we are getting into the part where they hang out together. Something to notice here is the repeated use of the word “again”. This goes back to the implication that these mini road trips happen quite often- she is being picked up again, she’s sneaking out the window again. Again, again, again. This repetition implies that these drives keep happening, and they have happened, multiple times throughout their relationship.
I never noticed how many similes Lorde actually utilizes until now- “We’re hollow like the bottles that we drain” is just one of many. This line is another point of confusion, because why exactly is she calling themselves “hollow”? Lorde is comparing themselves to empty bottles, presumably bottles with alcohol in them. Maybe because they keep doing the same thing over and over again (as indicated by the previous lines) she feels like they are empty inside- or maybe it’s because they’re hollow they find solace in each other’s company.  The effect of this simile is that it connects this relationship to something unorthodox like alcohol- most love songs create similes about roses or oceans or the moon. Lorde’s relationship with this person is different- and she shows this by comparing themselves to empty bottles. Because they keep doing the same thing over and over again, it’s starting to become boring, and it feels a bit hollow.
Moving on:
You drape your wrists over the steering wheel
Pulses can drive from here
We might be hollow, but we're brave
“You drape your wrists over the steering wheel” relies on heavy driving related diction and imagery. Lorde does this to enforce the setting and occasion of the song- reminding us of what is going on and really drilling it into our heads that this song is about driving. The choice of the word “drape” implies that her partner is doing it lazily- this action also seems fairly majestic when described with this word. He’s draping his wrist over the steering wheel- it’s hanging there carelessly. This reinforces the idea that the time they spend together is lazy- they don’t care about anything else happening in the world.
“Pulses can drive from here” is personification- pulses can’t literally drive cars. But using personification brings everything to life- the listener understands the way the scene is set and clearly understands how Lorde feels. They feel so careless and hollow that she feels like they don’t even have to pay attention to driving anymore- pulses can do that for them instead. At this point, Lorde is only paying attention to her lover- we don’t have to do anything, not even drive.
Finally, the last line brings us back to the idea of being “hollow”- we might be hollow but we’re brave. Even though they may do things that make them hollow (like drinking, doing the same thing over and over again) they’re brave because they are honest with each other- this may not seem like a big deal, but honestly telling someone how you feel about them takes guts. Or, for an alternative interpretation, being hollow means emotionally they feel empty inside (something in life is making them sad and upset so they feel empty) and they’re brave because they face life every day, even if they have to use each other to get through it.
And now…the most bomb chorus ever:
(And I like you)
I love these roads where the houses don't change
(And I like you)
Where we can talk like there's something to say
(And I like you)
I'm glad that we stopped kissing the tar on the highway
(And I like you)
We move in the tree streets
I'd like it if you stayed
The little whispers in the chorus and the pure naivety of these lyrics are like an explosion of love and appreciation and even a little smugness. To start, the simplicity of the phrase “And I like you” pretty much completes the whole song. “Liking” someone is another way of expressing that you have a crush on them- using such a grade school term makes Lorde seem very young and a little childish. This is in huge contrast to the seemingly “grown up” things she is doing, like “killing time” with some older guy (did I mention that her boyfriend was 24 when she wrote this song- and she was 16? This is a little…problematic, to say the least) and supposedly drinking underage. Slyly admitting “I like you” gives her a childlike image, playing into the naïve portrayal of teenage relationships.
There’s also the juxtaposition between Lorde “liking” this boy and, in contrast, “[loving the] roads where the houses don’t change”. It’s quite obvious she is happy in her relationship with this person- she could have easily wrote “And I love you” instead. But she intentionally doesn’t- almost as if she doesn’t want to admit that she loves this person. She slyly dances around any concrete lovey-dovey motifs present. Again, this is a love song but it isn’t outright- she’s singing about love in a different way. She looks at her relationship as more of a friendship, which is why she isn’t outright expressing explicit affection. All of her affection is implied- let me kill time with you, I’d like it if you stayed, I like you, I like you, I like you.
She mentions this in an interview with the Huffington Post- but even then, she doesn’t name drop the song’s title:            
“Come on, it doesn’t all have to be about a boy…I talk about exactly what’s happening to me and my friends and in my more recent material there are songs about a boy but it’s not an overt love song. Everyone’s said that a million times. I just want to do something different and that people will like.”
“Kissing the tar on the highway” has literally always been confusing to me, ever since I first heard this song when I was 13 years old. It could be a metaphor- they’re not literally tasting tar as they drive (hopefully). It could mean that she’s happy that they aren’t driving on the highway anymore- she prefers the tree streets more. The highway could possibly represent the fast life that Lorde was sucked into soon after writing this song- including fame, attention and money. She ignores the “fast life” and is glad she doesn’t have to pay attention to it when she is with her partner. The diction here is interesting as well- she uses a fairly intimate word (kissing) paired with more driving imagery of “tar on the highway”. The effect of this is that it introduces an unorthodox concept and creates an abstract scene- kissing and tar don’t go well together, but Lorde purposely does this to make the listener think about her relationship in an unusual way.
“We move in the tree streets” again, refers to suburbs and the way trees often grow large enough to create “tunnels” overhead. She also uses assonance again- “tree” and “streets” carry the similar “e” sound. The effect of this is that it shows how closely these two things seem to belong together- tree streets clicks, as if they are always supposed to be put together.
Now the only spoken word part of the entire album:
Now we're wearing long sleeves
And the heating comes on
(You buy me orange juice)
We're getting good at this
The long sleeves and heating Lorde mentions here is symbolism for the change in seasons- it’s getting colder and turning into winter. We can assume that the beginning of the song takes place in the summer. When the “heating comes on” it means that its winter, and these two are still doing what they’ve always done- killing time. The effect of this is that it’s subtle- Lorde doesn’t straight out say that time is passing in her story, but implying it makes the song feel more like an experience rather than something the audience is being told. By being implicit, Lorde puts the audience with her in the car rides instead of just telling us about it.
“You buy me orange juice” is so purely innocent and also quite random. Her diction is very naïve, which is what the entire album is built around. Why does she randomly just start talking about something seemingly insignificant, like orange juice? Lorde wrote about this line on her Tumblr:
“I meant the literal buying of orange juice, specifically an orange juice dropped into my lap at a gas station one night.”
So obviously this line is personal and true to Lorde’s life, though it does have effects on the overall song. For one, it emphasizes how young Lorde is as a speaker, just because her word choice is so simplistic and pure. The fact that she cares so much about a little thing like orange juice really reveals her naivety and in turn says a lot about teen relationships- they’re happy just because of things like orange juice. This shows the way teen relationships are built- they’re not serious or built on longevity.
Finally, the antecedent in the last line “We’re getting good at this” is a bit blurry- what is the antecedent “this” referring to? Lorde is referring to the action of them wasting time together- the reason she uses the vague antecedent is that it keeps the song a little conspicuous- sure, she’s sharing a pretty intimate relationship here, but she doesn’t reveal everything. Keeping things vague with antecedent’s carries a bit of smugness to it- like, yeah, you know how I feel, but you really don’t know anything at all.
She continues:
Dreams of clean teeth
I can tell that you're tired
But you keep the car on
While you're waiting out front
“Clean teeth” is more symbolism of the wealth and fame that Lorde talks about throughout almost all of Pure Heroine. Clean teeth symbolizes the perfection in which celebrities have- most celebrities have perfectly straight and white teeth. They’re clean. When she talks about how they’re “dreaming” of clean teeth, they’re wondering what it would be like to be famous. This goes back to Pure Heroine as a cohesive album criticizing wealth and luxury as she does in songs like Team or Royals- 400 Lux displays how everyone she knows “dreams” about being famous but isn’t “caught up” in that sort of life style.
“I can tell that you’re tired” is more childish and simple diction- notice how she doesn’t really over complicate things? All she does is state her observation- she can tell that he’s tired but he keeps the car on while he’s waiting out front. This also goes back to the smugness of Lorde’s tone- it almost appears cocky. I know you’re tired, but you’d do anything for me, wouldn’t you? Relationships can, at times, give you an ego. She almost sounds like she’s chuckling- because these trips are so mundane and repetitive- but they still partake in them.
400 Lux is perfect because it’s atmospheric- and, more importantly, it’s simple. Though Lorde does delve a lot into personal feelings and abstract ideas, for the most part, she remains straightforward and uncomplicated. All she wants to do is talk about her streets and her lover- her experiences shine through because she doesn’t over complicate anything.
Lyrics
[Verse 1] We're never done with killing time Can I kill it with you?
rhetorical question 
Till the veins run red and blue We come around here all the time Got a lot to not do, let me kill it with you
ABBAB rhyme scheme
[Pre-Chorus] You pick me up and take me home again Head out the window again
Repetition
We're hollow like the bottles that we drain
Simile comparing their relationship to something unorthodox and reckless
You drape your wrists over the steering wheel Pulses can drive from here
Personification that personalizes the drives they take 
We might be hollow, but we're brave
[Chorus] (And I like you) I love these roads where the houses don't change
Juxtaposition between “liking” her boyfriend and “loving” her streets 
(And I like you) Where we can talk like there's something to say (And I like you) I'm glad that we stopped kissing the tar on the highway
Metaphor for the fast life that Lorde is glad they’re not living 
(And I like you) We move in the tree streets
Assonance conveying how well these words fit together
I'd like it if you stayed
[Verse 2] Now we're wearing long sleeves And the heating comes on
Symbolism for the changing of seasons
(You buy me orange juice)
Childish diction 
We're getting good at this
Vague antecedents
Dreams of clean teeth
Symbolism for wealth and luxury 
I can tell that you're tired But you keep the car on While you're waiting out front
Smug tone, simplistic diction
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