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spiritus-sonne · 3 years

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Where Gender & Animality Meet

I thought I had posted this here, but turns out I didn't. This is a writing I did expressing various things related to my experience and identity of having a "nonhuman gender". I have thankfully come across some others who can relate to this, even if their experiences are specifically different from mine, it's comforting to read them nevertheless. Of course, I've had to see skeptics about it who either trivialize my experience and identity, state it's impossible to have a nonhuman gender (because "gender is a human construct" or that "it just doesn't make sense for a gender to be nonhuman"), and/or that gender is only a social construct so I shouldn't even bother with introspecting on my gender and seeking to understand it. Which, this being Tumblr, I'll probably get more of that by posting this here, but oh well.

So with that, here's the essay:

I periodically get times of trying to figure out what to call my gender and how to explain it well. Of the established terms, demifemale maybe the closest one I’ve found. Recently I came across the term “xenogender” and noticed it can be used in relating, for example, animals to gender, and thought that maybe it was close to my experience/identity, but after looking further into it, the term and concept doesn’t fit me, as it’s more so about symbolic or sensory explanations for gender or utilizes nounself-genders—which just isn’t fitting to me.

Another issue I have with using xenogender for myself is that my gender still feels like it is “binary” in the sense of feeling like and identifying as “female”. However, it is on a nonhuman spectrum of gender without being symbolic—more of a literal kind of nonhuman gender, in contrast to how xenogender tends to be used. The definition, though, seems mostly fitting of my gender if taken in that literal sense and if it wasn’t restricted to nonbinary genders. I guess I could be considered adjacent to or overlapping with xenogender.

Demifemale still feels not quite right but is closer than others I’ve come across so far because I do see myself as partially feminine (specifically just feminine leaning), no (human) masculinity in my identity, and not a blend of feminine and masculine (like androgynous would be). I’m comfortable referring to myself as she/her and female, though I tend to think that what *I* mean by female for myself is rather different than what is generally meant by human society as female. If anything, I’d call it something like “neuter-female”, but that still doesn’t get into the depth of what the hell I am gender-wise.

Now granted, maybe I shouldn’t even be caring much about a term to fit my gender identity, especially with so many terms and definitions already and with more being coined as time goes on. I know I don’t need a term for it, let alone some perfectly-fitting one. However, at least thinking about the terminology and exposing myself to some of these terms helps in my introspection and toward better understanding myself, including in relation to and in contrast to other people. It also lets me understand the extent of my personal animality and how it permeates through into so much of who and what I am on a non-physical level. Over time, in part through considering these gender identity terms, I’ve developed a better concept and understanding of just what gender means to me and how or where I fall along the vast diversity of gender identity.

If anything, I kind of like the term “feragender”, which I came up with only to follow that with a web search and finding someone last year had coined it online. Though their definition still kind of fits, just without the specification of *wild* animal because I don’t see mine as specific to being a *wild* creature. Sure, “fera-“ denotes wild, but honestly so many other terms I thought of were already coined and weren’t fitting (e.g., aliagender, zoogender (granted, I don’t like the sound or look of that one—just personal preference), allogender). And zoanthgender sounds okay, but too specific-sounding, even though this is ultimately meant for *me*–I’m just weird and like it broader than that **shrugs**. I suppose feragender, neuter-female is about as specific and fitting I have currently.

So aside from all this terminology stuff, what even *is* my gender identity like? Well, from what I’ve figured out so far, I see myself as *female*, but not human-female. It’s essentially a different construct and spectrum from that of human-specific gender. I, beyond gender, identify as both, intrinsically, human and nonhuman—humanoid and non-humanoid. And that runs through into my gender, it turns out (I’m not surprised, honestly). At my core, I am a shapeshifting (to a restricted number of forms/creatures) humanoid who happens to live a mundane human life in a human body, and that pervades into the whole of what is *me*.

My understanding of my gender deals with concepts derived from the sexual, genital, and sex hormonal aspects and influences of a creature that doesn’t exist. I’ve realized there’s basically a concept my mind identifies as fitting my gender that happens to be based on some kind of shapeshifting humanoid creature, which has therefore previously made extra difficulty in me understanding, let alone explaining and naming, my personal gender.

About these humanoid creatures: they still have males, females, and in-betweens/others in regards to sexes (let alone genders), but they have distinct differences from that of human sexes. They are sexually dimorphic, but only mildly (less than humans). All sexes have minimal body and facial hair (their hair is mainly on scalp, eyelashes, and eyebrows, with thin, fine, and light-colored hair over the rest of their bodies, including armpits and pubic area). Females have permanent breasts like humans, but their vulva is minor (only a slit or hole); they are more “curvaceous” like human females tend to be. Males have no external genitalia (only an external slit or hole as the opening) and have a human-like androgynous appearance to their bodies. They don’t have much in the way of femininity or masculinity in the sense of how it is often conceived for humans in general. Actually, I don’t know if that’s really just an attribute of those creatures or if it’s mainly a “me” thing from me seeing myself as basically a “neutered” nonhuman creature/humanoid.

In my case, for my gender identity, I would be like one of those females although a “neutered” one (post development of secondary sex characteristics)—retaining a sexuality and sex drive (based out of pleasure, not for reproduction or from sex hormone influence), and identify as sterile. I also sometimes when my libido and arousal are strong experience an erect phantom humanoid penis (I don’t have a good concept of its form, but it’s without testicles), though so far I don’t consider that part of my gender identity—I feel it is just something strange I experience for whatever reason. Though perhaps it’s a humanoid internal penis that I only feel when it is erect and “unsheathed” in an external position—I really don’t know yet. Also, at times I have the desire to do binding of my breasts (though I’ve never journeyed into actually trying it), including feeling sometimes (not always) more aesthetic and sensory-based satisfaction when my breasts feel relatively flatter due to wearing certain kinds of shirts. So I feel like I primarily identify as a female gender of that strange humanoid species, while also, less often feel myself fluctuate toward the male (more androgynous and not masculine) part of the species’ spectrum.

It’s all very strange (having a “nonhuman gender”, so to speak) and I haven’t yet found someone who experiences this sort of thing, but then again, it’s a difficult thing to figure out (has taken me several years to nail down this much), is outside the human ‘normal’ spectrum of gender and sex, and is probably something that very relatively few people experience. It would be tricky to ‘transition’ to feel more comfortable with myself and body, but I’ve taken some steps—I did get sterilized a few years ago, so that’s at least something closer to the whole “neutered” aspect (to be fully ‘neutered’ I’d have to have my ovaries and uterus removed and that would have its own set of health issues following it), and I keep my legs and armpits shaved close most of the time (to me it’s not a “female-specific” thing, as I noted above regarding the appearances of that humanoid species). I haven’t worn makeup in a long time—lack of motivation is part of the reason (I’m content with my face looking how it does, sans things like plucking my eyebrows or reducing my acne), but I will note that initially in high school when I started wearing makeup, it was largely inspired by *men* wearing similar styles of makeup that I went with, as also the same men influencing my hairstyles back then sometimes; I see makeup as a gender-neutral thing, even if it isn’t treated that way in a lot of our societies. Beyond that, I’ll never have my genitals transitioned to be more like I feel they should be.

While I’m at it, I’ll throw some in here about my sexuality. For years I’ve identified as gray-asexual, more specifically now as demisexual, which I feel is fitting enough for me, along with polysexual, though confirming the polysexuality is tricky giving that I’m demisexual and have only been sexually attracted to I think two people in my life (one a transman and the other a transwoman). When I’m outside of one of those romantic relationships (and before I developed a genuine romantic attraction to either person), I have been devoid of sexual attraction and even lacking a sex drive. For the past several years I’ve been in a stable romantic relationship and it started off with some level of sexual attraction (already romantically attracted to this person and been with them previous times) and maybe a low to moderate sex drive. But for the past few years the sexual attraction and, especially sex drive, have been high. Personally, I think it relates to my chronic depression, as some fucked up way to balance out the fact that around the same time as the sex drive went up, my ability to feel pleasure during sex dropped (sexual anhedonia) and so did my ability to orgasm. So it feels weird to be a demisexual person with such a high libido and high sexual attraction (albeit, all directed at either one human person or, alternatively, fictional humanoid creatures), and on top of that being anorgasmic and having sexual anhedonia. My body and mind are just odd when it comes to this stuff.

#my tags: gender #alterhuman #otherkin

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sparkles-rainbows-severed-heads · 4 years

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Nazi-Hating, Bisexual King, and German actor, Conrad Veidt (1893-1943) whose performances inspired the creation of Edward Scissorhands, Jafar from Aladdin, and The Joker, was a gem in real life. Be like Connie. Do it for him.

Here’s some information on how great he was:

https://aikainkauna.tumblr.com/post/41163268378/ten-reasons-why-you-should-love-conrad-veidt

“In honour of Conrad Veidt’s 120th birthday, let us present you with a list of reasons why you should love him. Because, let’s face it, he kicked more arse than you ever will. While wearing your great-grandmother’s dress.

1. He was an awesome actor who could hypnotise the screen in both the silents and the sounds. He could do amazing things with his body language, his eyes and his voice and move like an actual cat. Oh, and he was Method before it became popular. To the point where his friends and colleagues would get worried because his entire body language and way of speaking would change. He genuinely believed he was possessed by some greater spirit when he was acting. And it shows. 2. He was an amazing human being—everybody loved working with him because he was incredibly polite and jovial and charming, but he was even more amazing off the screen. Let us tell you why.

3. This guy starred in the first gay rights movie ever and played the first explicitly-referred-to-as-gay character on screen, and the first sympathetic gay character on screen. In a movie that said it was okay to be gay and that some people were just born that way. In 1919. The makers of the film and Connie himself were flooded with death threats from the far right. They would arrange riots in theatres and release gas and rabid rodents into the aisles. But the makers of the film stood their ground. Later, the Nazis tried to burn all copies of the film but over half of it still survives and a reconstruction can be seen here.

4. Oh yeah, and this guy also starred in an early pro-choice film, had a high opinion on women (with some progressive views for his time, when the right to vote and to wear trousers were still seen as new and scandalous things) and was a fierce campaigner for human rights and a vehement anti-Nazi for his entire life. Speaking of which…

5. In the Thirties, he starred in two British movies sympathetic to the plight of the Jews. While still a German citizen. Hitler sent him personal hate mail, Goebbels tried to persuade him into doing propaganda films for the Nazis instead and he told them to go stuff themselves. This was after some of his Jewish and gay friends had already been killed by the Nazis, too, so he knew exactly the sort of danger he was in. Oh, and they imprisoned him and tortured him with sleep deprivation and put him on the Gestapo hitlist. Guess what? He didn’t budge. He never raised his hand in the Heil Hitler salute, once. And when, finally, the British authorities helped him escape to England, he never went back to Germany again. Also? Despite being Protestant, he identified himself as Jewish on official forms as a form of protest. In. Nazi. Germany. I’m sorry, but Conrad Veidt’s balls»»»>yours.

6. He spent a huge amount of money supporting the British war effort and personally smuggled people out of the hands of the Nazis. Including driving his third wife’s Jewish parents out to Switzerland in his car under the cover of night after much bribery and passport shenanigans. In the Forties, he participated in a fund helping fellow Europeans escape Nazis and settle in the UK and the US. One of the people he helped was his Casablanca co-star, Paul Henreid. By the time Henreid had reached the UK, the war was in full swing and he was treated as an enemy alien. Connie (who had managed to acquire British citizenship just before war broke out) personally rang the British authorities and vouched for him until Henreid could finally cross the Atlantic to safety (with some monetary assistance from Connie himself). So, kids, when you watch Major Strasser menacing Laszlo in Casablanca, remember this guy actually helped him escape the Nazis in real life.

7. While living in London in the late Thirties, he and his wife would regularly shelter war children at their house. When the air raid sirens came on, he’d rather run back home to be with the kids rather than stay safe at the studio’s bomb shelter. No, really. And even when he’d left for Hollywood in the 40s, he would do stuff like this for the poor kids of London huddled in bomb shelters. You might need tissues.

8. He was made of actual sex on and off the screen. He possessed an amazing, androgynous sexual aura that would take no prisoners. He could be feminine without being effeminate, seductive and possessing and powerful without being gruff or macho, incredibly catlike and soft without being weak. Despite being skinny as hell and 6’3” tall, he was as graceful as a dancer, gliding around so smoothly it was uncanny, slightly unnatural (when Disney were making Aladdin, they deliberately based the cartoon Jafar on his performance in The Thief of Bagdad and told the animators to make him glide like Connie did. Yeah, that’s right, Disney villains were based on him. No wonder. No, really, look at that). From the Thirties onwards, he was repeatedly described as pantherlike. He had a sensuous, cruel mouth (always a little more red and open and wet than it should have been in order to be decent), large, pale blue piercing eyes (oh yeah, he was well-read in hypnotism and occultism, so he is actually hypnotising and possessing you for real), finely manicured fingernails (sometimes filed into sharp points) and a voice to melt knickers off anyone within a five-mile radius. When he smoked, it looked like he was giving oral sex to a woman and a man at the same time. Watch A Woman’s Face, The Thief of Bagdad and Dark Journey for good examples of this amazing man’s slinking, slithering, purring charm.

9. Oh yeah, speaking of the off-screen sex… Merle Oberon said “he would have sex with a butterfly”, Anita Loos quipped “the prettiest girl on the [Berlin] street was Conrad Veidt” and he was a major gay icon in 1920s Germany thanks to the aforementioned gay rights movie and his androgynous looks and style. Let us remember this guy spent his youth in Weimar Berlin and its cabarets, a modern Babylon where “anything goes” was an understatement. Drugs, wild parties and sexual diversions of every sort imaginable were the done thing in those days. You were considered unfashionable if you didn’t dress in drag and experiment with bisexuality. In that, he was hardly different from his peers (like, for example, his good friend Marlene Dietrich). But then again… there were people who experimented and there were people for whom it was all a phase, but according to numerous sources, he was a natural, voracious bisexual and so in love with everything feminine he genuinely loved to dress as a lady. And apparently he would fall in love all the time, so the Twenties were… busy years for him, especially when his second marriage had started to fall apart. Just don’t ask what he did to Olivier. And according to a couple of sources, Gary Cooper. Oh, and his first wife left him after she found him wearing her dress (her loss). Most of the time, his friends would describe him as a ladies’ man during the day, and going after the men as well after he’d had a few drinks in the evening. He seems to have calmed down a lot in the Thirties after he found genuine happiness with his third wife and escaped the Nazis to the UK, but apparently he was still an incorrigible flirt with both sexes until the end of his life. If you think he looks seductive and deliciously perverse on screen, that’s all real and then some. So, yep, this was a guy who was a genuine saint and an amazing human being and a naughty, naughty man at the same time. How often do you hear of both sides coexisting in the same person?

10. He was, basically, the last lingering sigh of Romanticism as a genuine cultural movement. On screen, he played the Gothic, Byronic hero to the hilt (The Student of Prague being one of the greatest examples of the type). In the silents, he played degenerate dandies, tortured painters and pianists and violinists, cruel yet seductive tyrants, men haunted by their doppelgängers, possessed creatures wanting to crawl out of their own bodies, sleepwalking and twitching and writhing on the screen, turning everything into a dark, exquisite ballet. In the sound films, he turned that demonic energy outwards and would pin people down with his gaze as he cursed them, would undress women with a flick of his pitch-black lashes, would curl his long fingers around their arms in a sadomasochistic, erotic stranglehold. He never completely lost his accent, but he compensated for it with pitch-perfect softness and tone, speaking very slowly and quietly when everybody else would speak loud and fast. His voice in The Thief of Bagdad was compared to poisoned honey. The MGM bosses were surprised at the mountains of fanmail he received from women in the Forties, even if they had never given him a starring role, only supporting, villainous ones. And the ladies wanted this villain, oh yes. A woman moviegoer (presumably after seeing his performance in A Woman’s Face) described him thus: “Conrad Veidt has wicked eyes, a sinister mouth, strange hands and a half-man/half- woman quality about him. His walk is frightening. There is something not quite normal about him. And yet, he was totally fascinating, charming and appealing to me at the same time!”

So, there you have it. There are many more reasons to love him, but it would take forever to try and list all of them. I suggest you watch his movies and read up on him yourself, because he deserves to live forever.”

#conrad veidt #do it for him #do it for her #the cabinet of doctor caligari #the cabinet of dr. caligari #the man who laughs #gwynplaine #casablanca #the hands of orlac

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ladyimaginarium · 4 years

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ANONYMOUS WHISPERED: 🌻🐚✨🍄🥀🍰🎨 for the mun

🌻 = what makes you feel rejected from the mlm/lgbt community sometimes?

hmmm .. sometimes i feel like i’m not a genuine mlm because i’m genderfluid and idk if i pass as male or masculine, especially since i’m afab and although i feel masculine at certain times, i was never really ... taught how to act like a man if that makes any kind of sense?? and i think i’m still struggling with internalized homophobia and trying to convince myself that it’s totally okay to be bi and that it’s totally okay to be genderfluid and two spirit. for reference’s sake, i only found out that i was bi like. a year ago LMAO + there’s also the fact that since i’m autistic and i feel as if autistic lgbt+ people aren’t often included in lgbt+ spaces and thus our voices and unique experiences aren’t often as heard or are overlooked. i also feel like i, being a two spirited person, don’t feel represented and i feel like an outcast precisely because i’m white passing native and the lgbt+ community’s pretty much predominantly eurocentric and westernized and overall very anti-native, so there’s ... that.

🐚 = do you tend to like masculine, feminine or androgynous boys more?

aaaaaa i like masculine, feminine and androgynous boys the same, i think!! they all have their own wonderful styles and personalities and ways of expressing themselves that’re just so attractive to me. ( this excludes toxic masculinity and just toxic behavior ofc !! ) masculine boys who like sports, drive fast cars/motorcycles, wear jeans, work boots, suits and baseball hats and/or have great muscles?? oh my go dddd LAAAAAAWD???? feminine boys who like art, makeup, taking care of animals and doing their nails?? oH MY GOD ?????? androgynous boys who don’t align themselves with either masculinity and/or femininity and still being their cool rad selves and choosing unisex fashion styles and being happy people??????? boys who like deep conversations and conspiracy theories????? boys with piercings and tattoos???? country boys?? eboys?? hipster boys? trans boys???????? MARVELOUS ! non-binary people who additionally identify with masculine genders and/or masculinity??? WHOA!! two spirit boys ? FANTASTIC !! white boys?? yOOO !! black boys ?? HANDSOMEEEE ?? asian boys ?? sPECTACULAR ?? native / indigenous boys ?? PHENOMENAL??? pacific islander boys ?? STUPENDOUS?? boys who respect other men and women and non-binary people?? HELLOOO???? SOMEONE CALL THE COPS-

✨ = how long have you know you were mlm?

since i found out i was genderfluid !! i mean .. like .. technically i suppose i always knew because i think i was born this way but like it only occurred like. early this year ?? and i’m really proud of being mlm even if im genderfluid, especially when i look up the rich history that mlm have been through and how we’re such strong people !!

🍄 = what scent reminds you of boys?

hmmmm ... pine trees, the ocean ( it reminds me of women too !! ), peppermint, fire and smoke, cinnamon, iron, the crisp air of autumn.

🥀 = e boys or soft boys?

oH FUCK UHHHHHHHHHH THEY’RE BOTH COOL ????? FUCK UH ,,,,,, I LIKE BOTH !! I REALLY DO !! BUT FOR THE SAKE OF THE MEME IMMA HAVE TO GO WITH E BOYS-

🍰 = are you more sporty or arty, and do you prefer sporty or arty boys?

ummmm i definitely suck at sports except for like. badminton ( im rusty ), soccer ( im r u s t y tho ) and swimming so there’s that LMAO so i guess you can say i’m an arty boy !! and honestly?? tbh i prefer arty boys but sporty boys are DEFINITELY gorgeous okay !!

🎨 = what genre of music reminds you of boys?

hmmmmmm ... country, punk, grunge, rock, pop .. uh .. but also indie pop, though i feel as if any music genre can remind me of boys, honestly !!

mlm asks - specify for muse(s) or mun || accepting.

#OUT OF THE GALAXY. ( ANGIE SPEAKS. )#A SHADOW ON THE WALL. ( ANONYMOUS. )#tysm for sending this in!!#tw; long post #tw; internalized homophobia

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murasaki-murasame · 5 years

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Thoughts on Fruits Basket 2019 Episode 12: “You Look Like You’re Having Fun”

My brain’s still kinda fried from the Sarazanmai finale, so my thoughts might not be super coherent or detailed this week, but I still wanna write up my thoughts on this new Fruits Basket episode, especially since it was even better than I expected it to be.

Thoughts under the cut. [Spoiler warning for the whole manga]

I think I’ve said before that by this point we’re in the midst of a fairly good stretch of episodes where the reboot is going to be very similar to the 2001 anime in what material it covers in each episode, and that continues in this one, as I figured.

This episode covers chapters 19 and 20 of the manga, which is the same as what episode 13 of the 2001 anime covered, and from what I remember of that version, the two versions are pretty identical in how they just adapt the manga 1:1, so there’s nothing particularly noteworthy there. I think episode 13 of the 2001 anime was one of the relatively few times where I think they actually did a good job of preserving the emotional depth and darkness of the manga, but I still think this episode did an even better job.

I’m kinda meh about the whole first half [since I’ve never really been the biggest fan of the part of the manga to begin with, which I’ll get into in a minute], but the whole second half with Akito was fantastic. It had been heavily teased at in some of the PVs we’ve gotten, but it still managed to be even more disturbing than I was expecting. It’s not like they added in anything that wasn’t in the manga [aside from a short flashback to that one time Akito had a mental breakdown and painted Yuki’s room black, which I don’t think had been hinted at this early in the manga], but it just executed the material really perfectly. [Though I think the bit at the start of the episode with Tohru seeing Akito’s car pull up at the school might have been a new scene]

The improved voice acting and animation really help drive home the extent of Yuki’s trauma in particular. Even though this is like the billionth time I’ve seen this scene in some form or another, it still kinda shook me, lol.

This whole part also really goes to show how important Tohru is as a person to Yuki, and also to all the other zodiac members in general. She’s someone that’s willing to stand up for him, and to give him happy memories to help outweigh his bad ones. Especially with his whole monologue near the end, I think the badminton scene is probably where he first becomes at least subconsciously aware of how he’s seeking out a mother’s love from her.

Come to think of it, it’s kinda funny how recently we’ve been in a bit of a pattern of going from a fun episode to a more dark one, and so on. It’s not a complaint or anything. I think it does a nice job of not spending too much time in a row on a particular emotional tone. And that sorta pattern should hold up with how the next episode is gonna be Ayame’s introduction, and after that we should get Momiji’s backstory and the grave visit.

And on the note of Ayame’s intro being the focus of the next episode, I’m still curious to see if they incorporate the part where Tohru and Yuki visit his shop in chapter 36 into it, or if they’ll just stick to adapting chapters 21-22 alone, and leave that other chapter for later. I don’t think it’d change much one way or another, but still.

Anyway I guess I gotta address the elephant in the room and say that I’m just not really a big fan of the material covered in the first half of this episode. I don’t hate it, but I just don’t like it as much as like 99% of the fandom seems to.

For one thing, that one Tohru-Kyo scene has always stuck out to me as being a little too . . . generic shojo romance-y for my tastes. It’s one of those few moments where the series unironically indulges in Kyo’s Bad Boy Aesthetic [tm] and it just doesn’t work for me. But I obviously get why lots of people love it.

The part that I’m more annoyed at is the whole sequence with Haru and Momiji’s outfits, and I feel like it’s something that I need to add a whole list of disclaimers to so that people don’t misunderstand me, lol. I just feel like it’s a really good example of how Takaya’s heart is genuinely in the right place when it comes to some of the more progressive sentiments in the series, but the specific angle she approaches certain things at leaves a really bad taste in my mouth, especially when you think about the story as a whole and how things end up.

Specifically I just have issues with how Momiji’s cross-dressing is handled. The part with Haru is fine and I definitely appreciate the whole point of how whether or not someone wears jewelry and piercings and stuff has no inherent bearing on their personality, though the whole bit with him dragging Makoto off to the bathroom, uh . . . maybe hasn’t aged well, lmao. But anyway, I feel like the whole thing with Momiji seems perfectly fine on the surface, but the more you think about it in the context of the whole story, the more it feels uncomfortable.

The message that he should wear whatever he feels comfortable wearing is completely valid, but I just dislike how the story goes about it by saying that ‘it’s fine because he looks good in it, and he’s going to dress normally when he grows up anyway’. There’s a lot going on between the lines here, but I just think it’s really shitty and deceptively regressive that they justify it by pretty much saying ‘don’t worry, it’s just a phase, he’ll grow out of it and dress like a “normal man” later on anyway’. Which is bad enough on it’s own, but then we actually get to see him grow up later in the manga and he definitely does seem to unceremoniously switch to more conventionally masculine fashion because . . . it’s what’s expected of him, I guess? It’s not like he ever seemed to lose interest in wearing feminine clothing, he just stops wearing it after he hits his growth spurt, and it’s framed as something natural and inevitable.

Even the sentiment of ‘he looks good in it, though :)’, in the context of the series as a whole, carries this uncomfortable undertone of ‘it’s fine because for the moment he’s short and looks sort of “like a girl” but once he gets taller and looks more “like a man” he’ll obviously start dressing like one’. It’s the sort of thing that seems like a genuinely progressive and accepting message about how we shouldn’t judge people for the clothes they like to wear, but if you look closely there’s an asterisk and a whole paragraph of fine text at the bottom of the page about how it’s actually only acceptable to cross-dress as a man if your body type, height, etc, make you look ‘like a girl’ in the first place, and that once you hit puberty you should dress like a man because feminine clothing ‘doesn’t fit you anymore’.

In general this series has some weird recurring hang-ups about the specific idea of ‘men wearing girl’s clothing’, to the point where it comes up in different ways with at least three different characters. I know it’s something that a lot of people in the fandom don’t like hearing negativity and complaints about, but I’m not gonna shut up about this, lmao. Y’all just have to deal with the fact that this series isn’t perfect and that I’m allowed to criticize it while also really liking other parts of it.

And on the general note of how the series kinda drops the ball when it comes to pretty much everything to do with gender presentation, this episode brings us another round of the fun game known as ‘the Fruits Basket fandom is in shocked-pikachu.jpg mode at the fact that pretty much every new fan immediately “““figures out”““ that Akito’s a woman’. I wonder what gave it away? Was it that unavoidably female voice? The feminine/androgynous character design that’s explicitly compared to Yuki who’s already meant to look like a girl [apparently]? The fact that we’ve only ever seen Akito wearing either the sort of kimono that at least from a Western perspective would seem very feminine, or this tight-fitting turtleneck sweater? The fact that she’s had romantically/sexually charged moments with at least one or two dudes, which for better or worse ends up making most people view her as being feminine? The fact that like 90% of the dialogue referencing Akito ends up not even using gendered pronouns in the first place? I wonder what could have possibly lead to people naturally assuming that Akito’s a girl and glossing over the, like, five lines of dialogue thus far that even use he/him pronouns toward her, lmao.

One way or another, Akito being a girl has always been the biggest non-twist of the entire series, and the fact that it’s so obvious and that the only reaction new fans have to it is pretty much just ‘oh ok I didn’t really think it was meant to be some kind of shocking surprise or anything’ really just spells out how it’s not even meaningful or interesting as a twist anyway, and that knowing about it from the start does absolutely nothing to hinder anyone’s enjoyment of the series. It’s honestly hard to even tell for new fans that we’re even meant to feel convinced that Akito’s a man, with how little effort the series ever puts into ‘hiding’ her true gender.

I probably sound angrier about this than I am, but mostly I’m just baffled that even though the manga’s been over for like 15 years, people still don’t realize how incredibly lame and shallow this whole plot point is. Like seriously, y’all, what could the reboot have even DONE to actually lead to it not being super obvious that Akito’s a woman? Unless they outright changed her character design to be a lot more masculine, the only thing they could have done would have been to give her a male voice actor, which was almost certainly never going to happen for obvious reasons. I guess what I’m saying is that it’s not like it’s the reboot’s fault that things turned out this way. There’s only so much they reasonably could have done. And even though I haven’t heard much of Akito’s new dub voice, I think Maaya Sakamoto actually does a very good job at sounding androgynous/masculine, and in general her voice work in this episode was really effective and disturbing. I think she’s one of the most masculine-sounding female VAs they could have gone for [aside from maybe someone like Romi Park or Megumi Ogata, but I don’t know if they would have fit Akito very well]. I guess it mostly just bugs me that people are blaming the reboot for something that’s 90% just them following the manga.

Anyway, in spite of my gripes [which are more about the fandom and the series as a whole], this episode was still super good in and of itself, and had some of the most effective voice acting and music that the entire reboot’s had thus far. It’s very obvious why new fans in particular would really really like this one, and for the most part, I do too.

Also, Haru t-posing when he sees Yuki and running over to tug on his shirt is still the most Iconic [tm] thing ever, don’t @ me.

#murasaki rambles #fruits basket #y'all ready for PAIN? for EMOTIONAL ABUSE and TRAUMA? cause that's what this episode is about :)

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shellsan · 5 years

Note

Every number from the wlw ask meme!

soft wlw asks

1. how long have you known you liked girls?

I’ve never counted them out as an option in the first place, so it depends on how you look at it? I labelled myself bisexual in like 2014, and changed that to homosexual by the time 2016 ended.

2. talk about the girl who made you realise you liked girls

None in particular, that I can think of? As mentioned above, I never really counted them out to begin with and I’ve always found them to be cuter and more ‘my type’ I guess?

3. are you in a relationship at the moment?

Nope. I haven’t been in a relationship since like 2014/5?

4. do you have a crush at the moment?

Nope~

6. do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls?

I don’t mind, but I do lean more towards feminine~

7. do you look/dress more masculine, feminine, or androgynous?

Feminine usually.

8. what’s your gaydar like?

Meh. I try not to try and ‘call’ someone else’s sexuality, and I’ve never been in a situation where its mattered before.

9. tall girls or short girls?

Short~ (But it really doesn’t matter)

10. intimidating girls or kind girls?

Kind.

11. hugs or kisses?

Either, both? I don’t have much experience so I can’t say for sure.

12. do you have an ideal ‘type’? what would they be like?

I’ve never really thought about it? Is that weird? A girl who can make me laugh, and enjoys physical contact would be perfect though, because I’m a naturally touchy-feely person.

13. what’s your favourite personality trait of yours?

Oh man, nothing? Maybe my self-awareness? I try to recognise my own bad habits even if I don’t ultimately do anything about them.

14. what’s your favourite personality trait for a girl to have?

A sense of self-awareness (knowing their own faults and being able to acknowledge them).

15. what’s the best thing about liking girls?

How freaking good them look? Have you seen girls? They’re QUEEN.

16. do you have any friends who are wlw?

Nope, but a large majority of my female friends are bisexual, and open about it~

17. have you ever been to pride? if so, what was your first pride like?

No, I’ve never been.

18. do you like the lesbian flag?

I have nothing against it.

19. what was your first kiss with a girl like?

Soft, and nerve racking. It was my first kiss ever, and I had no idea what to do, or how to go about anything.

((I still have no idea what to do or how to go about it))

20. who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening?

Most female kpop stars and Katie McGrath (Aka Morgana from Merlin)

21. what’s your favourite lgbt+ movie?

I don’t have one, since I’m not much of a movie watcher. I adore the anime yuri on ice though~

22. who’s your favourite openly wlw celebrity?

I honestly have none? I’m so bad with traditional celebrities and media, since I’ve never cared much for either, so the only w/w celebrity that I know is Ellen.

I went through the effort to google some and see if I recognised any, and the answer was pretty much a resounding nope.

23. do you wear makeup?

For special occasions, or if I’m really feeling it~

24. who was the first person you came out to (if you have)?

I don’t think of it as ‘coming out’, since the people I surround myself with have never been hetronormative (except my father, but we won’t go there), but I dropped to my mother that I was bisexual in the middle of a random conversation, and she didn’t blink, and we just kept on talking? I was like 11 or 12 at the time.

25. has anyone ever come out to you?

Not dramatically in the way that this sounds, but after people at work found out I was gay, a few of them revealed that they were bisexual to me, and some friends have been the same.

26. have you found a community of lgbt+ people?

I’ve never felt the need to look for one.

27. do you have any older lgbt+ people you look up to?

Not really? I look up to plenty of people, but none of that is due to their orientatio or label.

28. do you identify with butch/femme labels?

Not really. I can definitely fit myself into a femme box, but I try not to use too many labels, since I feel like they’re constricting and over all aren’t too necessary? A lesbian is a woman who loves other women. Why do we need to fit into any other roles and stereotypes, ya feel?

29. who’s your favourite fictional wlw?

Shion and Yayoi from Psycho-pass, is probably my fave, just because they’re the first to come to mind, and I adored their dynamic.

30. what experiences are you looking forward to having in the future (kissing a girl, going to pride, etc)?

Honestly, I’m mostly excited to have an actual relationship, and any of the things that come of having a relationship. The only relationships I’ve ever had have been with men when I was still considering myself as bi (and they helped me to figure out that this was not the case), and since then I’ve had nothing.

#shellsanspeaks #about shellsan #this was so much fun and super long #i didn't realise there were so many things surrounding being a lesbian #i have to google so much for this?#also my knowledge on pop media remains non existent #Anonymous

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toadsrbutch · 5 years

Note

6, 8, 9, 13, 44 for the lesbian asks!!!

6. Favorite article of clothing?

Oh no, I’m so torn between my lizard button-ups and my big soft flannels… I can’t choose between those, they’re both so good

8. Current haircut?

It’s short on the sides and a little bit longer on the top but I really need to get it cut. Short hair grows so fast, oof.

9. Any haircut goals for the future?

I’ll probably stay with this haircut for a while, I really like it– I just need to get it cut again.

13. If taken, talk about your girlfriend/wife!

Oh, Lucy is so sweet and goofy!! She always makes me smile and she’s just an amazing person. I’m going to get to see her on Friday and she wants to go roller skating and she’s always so cute and happy when she’s roller skating. She also really loves the outdoors and animals, she has a hamster that she dotes on and it’s so fuckin’ cute the way she talks about her hamster. She’s also a little bit of an adrenaline junky which is uhhh not the most fun in my opinion but she’s valid.

44. Who was your first lesbian crush?

Honestly?? My friend from middle school and part of high school. She came out as bi to a friend and I when I was 13 and I remember being so confused because I thought I was straight before (just conveniently into really androgynous or feminine men) and I didn’t understand why I was so happy. Cue me having a huge crush on her for almost 3 years… whoops! She did a cover of a kinda gay song for my 14th birthday and my little gay heart could not handle it at all,,, I had it really bad for her.

Speaking of that, I have so many embarrassing stories of me being a baby gay with a huge crush on her so if you want me to embarrass myself just let me know!

Thank you!!

#thank you!!#scorpiondyke #asks

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emilyplaysotome · 6 years

Text

Chapter 6 - Friendnapped

Catch up on Chapter 1 - 5 here! (or just Chapter 5)

It’s never pleasant seeing an ex move on, especially when you’re not entirely sure that you want your ex to be an ex in the first place. Compounded with the fact that his new girlfriend was everything that I wasn’t caused every fiber in my being to want to flee.

Thankfully, my legs refused to listen.

Instead I stood frozen and watched as she accepted his hand (one that dwarfed her own) and he helped her stand tall once more in a way that reminded me of how he had been there for me. She was far more feminine than I’ve ever been in my life, with a slender frame that complimented Zyglavis’ more androgynous features. Standing next to her, he looked like the God he was in a way that he never did by my side - proud, masculine, and strong.

I forced myself to stay present, assuming that the king was rooting for me to run from such an unpleasant scene, giving him the upper hand when it came to Zyglavis’ new life in this world. At the moment, sharing a kiss with the man I had assumed I’d share my life with only a few weeks ago seemed impossible but I did my best to stay strong in face of adversity.

Instead of running away I apologized further, introducing myself to both of them and handing the woman my business card in an attempt to prove to her that I was a normal, capable woman and not some crazy person off the street.

“Really,” I said again, “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s ok,” she said in a tone that was far less aggravated than the one taken during our initial exchange.

“Please, allow me to pay for your dry cleaning or something.”

“No, it’s fine I…”

“Thea, you should take her up on it,” Zyglavis said sternly.

“Thea?”

“Yes, sorry. I didn’t say my name did I? And this is…”

“Zyglavis.”

He said his name flatly, barely looking me in the eyes. His gaze was firmly on Thea and I assumed as a result that he was checking to see if she was alright. I knew Zyg long enough to know that he could be a bit of a worrywart when it came to the object of his affection, and I could feel the muscles in my chest constrict as it sank in that he might never worry about me in that way again.

Thea tucked a strand of her long, jet black hair behind her ear and with a similarly cold expression noted, “Well, I suppose. Naomi was it?”

“Yes.”

“Thank you Naomi, that’s very kind. Most New Yorkers probably wouldn’t even offer.”

“Oh that’s not true,” I said with a forced smile. “We get a bad rap but we’re actually a lovely group of people.”

Zyglavis kept glancing behind him at the hostess inside and each time he did I could feel my new reality sinking in.

He and his new girlfriend (a clear upgrade when compared to his last), were going to have a nice dinner and here I was keeping them from it. Seeing him again reminded me of how much I missed him - a fact that the chaos of the past few days had distracted me from.

I missed my best friend. Zyglavis had been a loyal, kind man who was always there for me no matter the circumstance. He was a man who could sometimes be too strict and slightly too grumpy, but underneath it all always had my best interests at heart.

For a moment, everything seemed incredibly surreal and I almost felt as if any second he and this woman would laugh and tell me the past week was all a shitty joke. I wanted so desperately to go back to what was instead of what is, but I knew that I had no choice in the matter once the hostess popped her head outside and called, “Ziggy? Table for 2?”

“We will be in shortly,” he said politely to the hostess, and then with a sigh addressed Thea. “Ziggy? Really?”

She giggled and for the first time I saw how beautiful and blinding her smile was, “I couldn’t resist.”

Zyg shook his head and before she could run away I exchanged contact information with Thea under the guise that I would follow up with her in regards to the cost of her dry cleaning. I then was forced to watch him hold the door for her as they went inside - not once did he even so much as glance back at me.

I stood there dumbstruck for a moment and once I was certain that I was alone again, a maelstrom of emotion hit me with such strength that I was not only caught off guard but found myself rushing to a trash can nearby and vomiting into it. I never thought I was capable of something as dramatic as becoming physically ill over seeing an ex, but the king’s trials always managed to surprise me.

It shouldn’t have taken a meddling king for me to understand what I had with Zyglavis, but far too often we take someone for granted until they’re gone. For ten years of my life I lived having friendships, but never having someone who I could call my own. I never experienced having someone who was able to be there for me the way that Zyglavis always was and now that he was gone I felt adrift.

Looking back he had constantly been present in the sense that my apartment was always taken care of, and at the end of every difficult work week he’d bring back chocolates made especially for me, as a small token of his love and appreciation for the life we forged together in this world. He was always up for listening to my problems and for laughing at my funny stories or holding me during the difficult ones.

He was a best friend in a way I’d never experienced with anyone else, and even though he proved to be more imperfect than I ever thought an otome man would be, that made him and the relationship all the more real.

By the time I was back at Meg’s I was a certifiable mess with runny mascara, tinged with the faint smell of vomit. I planned to hop in the shower and then to try and pack my things in order to distract myself from what Thea and Zyglavis might be doing together, but when I opened the door I soon realized that I was not alone.

“Omi? What the hell happened to you?”

Meg was standing in the foyer of her apartment hanging her light spring coat up in the closet. Down the hall, I saw her away bag on the floor of the living room and figured she had just gotten back.

“I thought you were coming home tomorrow?”

“I was, but I missed New York and my parents were driving me nuts.”

“Oh. Welcome back. Are you doing ok?”

Meg shrugged and it was clear that my friend and I were in similarly messy places. Even though she hadn’t been gone long I knew her well enough to see that she wasn’t sleeping. On top of that she appeared a good deal thinner than when she’d left and having gotten her through a previous breakup in college, I was well aware of the fact that she didn’t eat when she was stressed or upset.

She crinkled her nose and straightforwardly blurted, “Omi - why do you smell like vomit?”

If I hadn’t had such a difficult day, I don’t think I would have told Meg the truth in that moment. I think I would have made something up or vaguely addressed bumping into Zyglavis but for whatever reason I found myself saying, “You know me well enough to know that I’m not a liar, right?”

Meg shot me a curious look and nodded, leading me to the living room and prompting me to tell her the whole story - the real story.

I watched as she looked on skeptically as I spoke, occasionally clarifying that I “really believed” that I had gone to the world of my “weird anime games” but ultimately let me tell my tale. I knew how far fetched it must have all seemed to her, but when I got to the part about the games not working, I pulled up the facebook posts as well as old screenshots from Zyglavis’ route that fans had posted online.

It was then that Meg’s disbelief started to wane (in addition to the fact that in all of our many years of friendship I’d never once misled her in any way and I had no tangible reason to concoct such a strange story now). She pulled up a photo she had on her phone of all of us from a few months back (before her breakup or mine) and compared the man by my side to the cartoon man from the post.

“Holy shit.”

“I never told you any of this because, well - I know it’s pretty unbelievable and…”

“There’s more?”

“Well..I was afraid you’d judge me if you knew that I chose to be with a cartoon character from a game. I mean how many years did I watch you guys…and now…”

Meg quickly cut me off, “And now we’re both in shambles thanks to two dudes. Doesn’t get more real than that even if he started as a cartoon character.”

“His new girlfriend is stupid pretty,” I complained.

Meg hesitated for a moment as she sank dejectedly into her couch and said in a quiet voice, “You know, I didn’t tell you guys this but Noah broke up with me for some chick he works with.”

“What?”

Meg scoffed, “Yeah. If you didn’t already smell like barf I’d have us doing shots or some shit.”

“Why didn’t you tell us?”

“Because it hurts more knowing that he gets to be happy and I have to be hurt.”

“I’m sorry Meg…”

I could see that Meg was trying to be strong as she fought back tears, biting her lower lip in an attempt to stay in control of her emotional state. I always considered her someone who was pretty tough and resilient and as a result, seeing her in this state amplified the hurt that I was already feeling. She sniffled and tried to shake off her tears as she focused on my problems over hers.

“So wait - this asshole…the king? He just showed up and ruined your relationship?”

“Well, I mean I kinda had a hand in it too. I started to take Zyg for granted and…”

“But you didn’t even get a chance to work it out right?”

“No.”

“Fuck that. And fuck his new girlfriend - if you want him, you’re going to get him back.”

I loved the fact that even though Meg was heartbroken, she was still so angry on my behalf.

“I don’t know,” I said skeptically. “The king said I’ve got to win all my ex cartoon men back and right now 3 are unaccounted for, the one I want most has moved on, another tried to mug me, and the last one I have a date with in a couple of days. The odds are not in my favor.”

“Nah, fuck that noise. We’re New Yorkers - when the going gets tough we’re used to it because so are we.”

“You are maybe…”

“No I’m a mess, but I”m still going to help you. We’ll find your cartoon men and at least one of us will get to live happily ever after, ok?”

“Meg…”

“You’re gonna make me cry if you look at me like that and you still smell like puke so go shower and we’ll come up with a plan after.”

“Meg…”

“Omi! I swear!”

I knew Meg didn’t want to cry but I couldn’t help myself from doing so. Not only did she believe me (or at least was being kind enough to pretend that she did), but she said she’d help me.

I was immediately brought back to that day during the Revance tweeter takeover where I fantasized about having my friends’ support as I made my final decision on who I wanted to bring back to this world. For the past few days I’d reminded of what it was to be on my own once more and how it felt to have to do everything by myself and bear that burden alone.

Now, thanks to Meg’s generosity I would have a partner in crime and I owed her one for it.

I returned to the living room freshly showered and vomit free, and took out my notebook re-creating a space in Meg’s living room similar to the one in Zyglavis’ bedroom way back when. I even told her about my operation GTFO area and with a dry laugh she noted that was “a very Naomi thing to do”.

Meg also set up a few online profiles in order to help me in my search, and talked me through the fact that we had eyes on 3 of the 6 men. Toshi and Jin were completely MIA and the mystery suitor of mine was most likely not Shunichiro. Meg had me make a list of every otome man I’d met who potentially carried a flame for me during my time down the rabbit hole and when I handed her what felt like a reasonable list based on the information I had, she smirked and noted, “Girl, get it.”

“You don’t understand what it was like - they’re all programmed to want you when you’re the MC.”

“I mean, I’ve seen Zyg so I have a pretty good idea of what this world is like. Perhaps you can take me with you next time,” she joked. “In the meantime, I’ll look out for these names as I swipe and you should call the switchboard to see if Jin is NYPD.”

“Ok…thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

There was a moment where I paused and Meg looked at me with a skeptical expression, “What?”

“You do believe me, don’t you?”

“I mean...do…ish. You have to understand, I can’t really wrap my head around -”

There was a bright light that filled the room, in addition to the sound of a snap and a familiar presence that caused Meg to practically jump out of her seat. The king glared at me, and with a chuckle I found myself muttering, “speak of the devil.”

As I once had, I glanced over and saw Meg struggle to accept the reality of how crazy it all was. It was strange to see my typically eloquent friend stammer next to me, but it was all short lived as the king snapped his fingers for a second time, causing Meg’s eyes to glaze over and her stammers to fade. My friend would have a hard time not believing my story once she returned from her catatonic state, and with a sigh I knew that I’d done something that prompted an IRL visit from the king versus a cheeky text.

“Well I see that you’re up to your old tricks,” the king snapped. “The agreement was that you were able to find them and romance them - not that you’d have help.”

“I don’t believe the issue of having help or not was ever stipulated in your terms and conditions,” I snapped back. “And I hardly have the home court advantage considering what I’ve seen the past couple of days.”

“What have you seen? He was always a criminal - even in my world, was he not?”

“Yes but -“

“And that didn’t stop you the first time around, now did it?”

“It absolutely did stop me!”

“Mmmm tomato tahmahtoe,” he said flippantly with a smile, and I realized that as much as I was a thorn in his side, the king was clearly enjoying himself.

He tossed his long silvery hair back and with an unreadable, etherial smile paced before me as he considered what having an ally in this world might do to his game. It was obvious that I was one of the few people who was capable of throwing curveballs his way and as much as it annoyed him, he obviously relished how unpredictable his life was when I was in it.

“Well,” he said finally, “I guess we’ll do this.”

He snapped his fingers and Meg disappeared from the couch beside me.

“You’ll get her back once you’ve found them all on your own. I think that’s more than fair. Very generous in fact!”

“That’s not fair at all! You can’t do that you -“

The king threw back his head and laughed, “Oh Naomi. You silly, silly girl - haven’t you realized? I can do whatever I want. You’re lucky I’m even letting you play in the first place.”

And with that, he snapped his fingers and left me all alone once more.

Chapter 7

If you’ve enjoyed the story, please show your support by sharing it with a friend or buying me a coffee!

Thanks for reading :)

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#scm zyglavis #star crossed myth fan fiction #star crossed myth fanfic #voltage fanfic #voltage fandom #Voltage fan fiction

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psychic101 · 7 years

Note

What do spirits look like?

Oh, boy! Where do I even start? I think I’ll have to divide it into different Categories.

OTHER SIDE SPIRITS:

Spirits that have crossed over to the Other Side generally look like us. Not because our physical bodies match their form, but because they want to match the bodies we have here on Earth. It’s just popular is all– they’ve grown accustom to it, and it’s just grown on them. (We, too, on the Other Side, do the same for the most part). Spirits, in General, don’t have a Gender at all– not a physical one (as we don’t have physical forms), but we, and Spirits on the Other Side, actually appear in a spectrum somewhere from Masculine to Feminine— some are at the extreme ends, some are somewhere in the middle. Some identify similarly with the pronouns we created here on Earth, some stick with gender neutral ones, or some just go with, “I’m Feminine/Masculine/Androgynous, but call me whatever.” I’ve seen spirits from the Other Side who look like men or women, who I call “Brother and Sister,” but I still refer to them in the general “they” (they don’t mind). They just pick a form that is their “ideal” appearance— whatever it may be (petite, stout, tall and lanky, red hair, freckles, skin black as soil, ect). Technically they can change their form at any time, but we all have our “preferred” form on the Other Side that we just generally stick with as most spirits do. There’s one thing in common though— most of us for some reason, ideally, like to look like we’re exactly 30 years old, no older or younger. (The only exceptions are the “older” spirits, who stay and help Manage on the Other Side, not born if ever, and they look to be about 40). We also don’t need anything to sustain our forms either— no hunger or drink or sleep (but you can actually still eat and sleep or whatnot if you simply want to).

Growing up, However, when Spirits from the Other Side used to visit me when I was a kid, they’d make themselves look like my age so I’d be more comfortable, or they’d make themselves elderly or take on a form I’d recognize (like, my grandfather might look different on the Other Side, but when he appears in front of me, he takes on the form of what he was in this life). But that’s only when they come to visit Earth, and they just want to make things easier for those who they appear to. (After all– we’ve lived a thousands+ lives, so we’ve had that many human forms to work with)

There’s Spirits that actually don’t take on a Form that looks like our Human Bodies on Earth— and instead they’re just Balls of Light and Energy, and nothing more, that’s it. Since we can all sense who they are by their essence, we can tell everyone apart— so no confusion if there’s three balls of light hanging around each other. Father God does this— he refuses to take a form other than a ball of light just because he’s just like, “Nah, don’t feel like it.” The ball of light and energy is our “natural” form. We all started like that before taking a Human for became trendy.

One thing, however: Human spirits stay human, Animal spirits stay animal spirits. The forms they take sort of stick with that criteria. (No human into turtle or flower, or lion or tree into Human). That’s just how we were made.

A Theory I have, too, we don’t naturally have wings like that’s often depicted. I’m not sure where that came from— but I have a theory it was meant to be symbolic or maybe it was another “trend” at the time that just stopped. (I’m guessing more symbolic rather than literal).

You may have noticed I’ve used “We” a lot. That’s because, technically, every living creature on earth—humans and animals and bugs and such— are all Spirits that Came from the Other Side. Most of us just came and are born into this world— but when we pass on, cross over, and return to the Other Side, we are still “Other Side” Spirits. Other Side is our home an origin, so—that’s technically what we’re like when we’re not on Earth. (I hope this all made sense?)

EARTH-BOUND SPIRITS/NON-CROSSED OVER

I’m referring to spirits who were born into this world, died, but haven’t crossed over to the Other Side— who haven’t returned Home yet. Generally, they take on the form of their physical body they were last in. If I were to die this instant, until I cross over, I would still look like how I do now.

An additional thing that might be added to this sometimes, depending on the Spirits Emotions, they’ll take on the EXACT look when they had died— which can get creepy. A drowned little girl once visited me at 3am, waking me up, looking all wet and like a drowned corpse (THAT was fun)— she wasn’t dark or mean or anything, and she wasn’t just trying to scary me either, she was just still sad on the fact of what happened to her.

That’s why I say sometimes you can’t let Spirits scary you– sometimes that’s not their intention at all, and it’s just their feelings being revealed in that manner.

By the way— if you see a Spirit that obviously haven’t crossed them over, comfort them and convince them to do so. For some reason, since we do get “Amnesia” and on’t remember the Other Side or have become so Disconnected from it, Spirits get nervous of crossing over, or sometimes they think that there’s still unfinished business left over for them to do and they’re not ready— you just have to tell them everything will work themselves out and they need to cross over so everything will be okay.

DARK/NEGATIVE SPIRITS

These are Spirits who absolutely refuse to cross over to the Other Side out of Bitterness. Sometimes, they’re even the spirits that get born into this world to do bad things, die, and get reborn again, or they’re spirits that stay in their spirit form (without reincarnation) and try to “scare” and make other people here on earth miserable by use of their energy.

I’m not sure if this is how it is with everyone— but I noticed a trend with spirits both with and without a physical form: I notice they have dark dark circles under and around their eyes. The darker the circles, the more negative they are— the more anger, bitterness, greed, jealousy they have. (I don’t know if I should talk about this, and I’m not sure how many people know about this— but the infamous “Casey Anthony Case,” the woman had such dark circles around her eyes that I knew I could see that others couldn’t. It wasn’t from lack of sleep either). There’s a difference between circles from lack of sleep, and circles that show a dark spirit— it’s as though they took ash, charcoal, and/or black paint and just smeared it around their eyes. They look so mean, too.

But all in all—- they generally also follow the trend of taking on the Physical Human form— spirit or non-spirit. (Note: Animals cannot be Dark Spirits. Animals, legit, are too pure and good. I’m not even joking about that).

I hope this helps! Let me know if you have any more questions or need clarification!

#Psychic #Psychic101 #Spirits #Appearance #Physical Forms #Dark Spirits #Negative Spirits #Other Side Spirits #Earth Bound Spirits #Non-Crossed Over #Anon #Anonymous #Ask

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vulgar-blue · 6 years

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I honestly feel like a part of the reason why i’m so disconnected and solitary is my bisexuality and androgynous gender and gender expression. Not those qualities in themselves, but the things I’ve experienced because of them.

(This turned into a pretty long, perhaps haphazard essay/rant but I’d be very glad if you stuck around to read through it. I’m not sure if I’ve ever talked to anyone, even my friends about all of these experiences in this much detail, so needless to say this will be a quite personal piece, but I would like it if as many people as possible read it. Though I’m talking about my own life, a lot of these things are universal for LGBT people and I think it’s important to talk about our experiences. Please feel free to comment your thoughts)

Ever since puberty began for me and my peers and, at first, mild forms of sexuality as well as a more... obvious form of gender expression became relevant, I felt estranged. At first I thought it was just the fact that I was a bit of a tomboy, and because I couldn’t care less about kissing boys I wondered if maybe, I was asexual. I couldn’t really relate to the girls, so maybe I should try to hang out with the boys instead? Except I didn’t feel like I belonged there either.

I didn’t care about conventionally feminine things like shopping, makeup, looking pretty and so on. But then I found out that the group of female friends I’ve sort of... loosely connected with and hung out with were talking behind my back about my clothes and the fact that i didn’t pay too much attention to my appearance. And my insecure 13-year-old self took that to heart. So I tried. I went shopping for trendy clothes, light makeup, I started doing my hair, I lost weight so I could have the ideal, somewhat underweight skinny figure. And things were... great. My friends didn’t talk behind my back anymore, all of them wanted to hang out with me, everyone in my class, including the boys, talked to me and joked around with me.

And then I just. Didn’t care anymore. It took so much effort to try to fit into that mold of an average teenage girl because that wasn’t me. So I pulled away from my class and most of my friend group, I focused on my hobbies rather than shopping or looking good, if I did wear makeup or buy new clothes I was going for a more alternative look, because that’s what lined up with my interests and my aesthetic or whatever, I went back to a normal weight.

But it wasn’t just a case of “oooh im so different from the normal girls, blah blah blah”. A friend introduced me to things like anime, j-rock and cosplay, and I found a world of ambiguous gender expression. Male musicians that looked androgynous or even feminine in makeup and elaborate costumes, female musicians who had an androgynous or even masculine appearance. Crossplay. It was a world I was immediately drawn to. And there was no pressure. No friends talking behind my back, I could’ve just brushed it all off, brushed it off as my best friend’s weird interest. But I couldn’t. Whenever I binded, put on a short-haired wig, and contoured my face to look more masculine, I felt amazing. Whenever my friends said I looked like a dude, it felt like biggest compliment imaginable. I could put on makeup and cool clothes, and be seen as androgynous rather than feminine, and I loved that. I became the outcast of my class, and now only had two friends to hang out with. But now I was much, much happier. I felt like my identity was going in the right direction. I didn’t feel quite so estranged anymore.

When I was 15, the aspect of puberty I had mostly ignored so far, came crashing down on me. I had played with the thought of dating before, I had asked out one of my friends because I was curious what dating was like, but couldn’t really get close enough to a boy to consider dating. Some aspects of sexuality I had discovered quite a while ago, like masturbation. I had had a few crushes over the years, but either I was too young to make anything of them, or they were just... vague and fleeting, one-week crushes. I got a crush on guy that was doing his civilian service at our school (an alternative to the mandatory military training Finnish men have to take as an 18-20-year-old), but he was way too old and I never got the nerve to talk to him.

But while I had that crush I was suddenly a bit fearful of girls. I was really nervous in gym class, in the locker room. I tried to change as quickly as I could and not even accidentally glance at anyone. Soon enough I realized I was scared that the girls might think I was a peeping Tom. I felt like a guy who had just walked into the wrong changing room and couldn’t escape. Except I wasn’t a guy. Or was I? At the very least I was starting to realize that when I watched shows like Game of Thrones, The L Word and so on, I found the sexy women... sexy. But I didn’t want to be a lesbian. I didn’t want anyone to think I was a lesbian. I was paranoid. I was a nervous wreck around girls, constantly over-analyzing my actions and words to make sure I didn’t come off as gay. I didn’t get along with boys and was generally avoided at all costs by them, but girls.. they talked to me. They were around me all the time, in gym class and in other classes. I’d sit next to girls if I couldn’t find a pair of desks that were both unoccupied so I could sit alone, because sitting next to a boy would subject me to subtle bullying, disgusted looks, looks that said “just fuck off you weirdo”. At least the girls didn’t bully me face to face, and what I didn’t know, couldn’t hurt me.

There were a couple of times before I graduated Middle School when my class seemed... aware. They said and did things that on the surface were harmless, but the hidden message was “we know”. One of the popular, pretty girls in my class tried to sit next to me. I was sitting alone and she’d already picked her seat elsewhere in the class, but she came over, asking if she could sit there next to me. I blatantly said no, and she looked taken aback. Was she surprised because the lesbian wasn’t frothing at the mouth to have a pretty girl sit next to her, or was it an act, and she’d go on to laugh with the others “she was so quick to say no, she’s definitely gay”. The most homophobic guy in my class would say something about a pretty girl, or talk about “the gays” and turn to me “isn’t that right, [birth name]?”

Maybe it was the subtlety, the room for interpretation, the hidden meanings and the context that stemmed from their own conversations, the context that I was unaware of. Maybe that was why I felt even worse, even more anxious than if they were to flat out call me “a dyke” or something. Always being on my toes, fearing when. When is it going to get worse? How long are they going to toy with me before the name calling starts, before I get beat up, before I get harassed? And it didn’t get worse. It went on for a couple months, and then we graduated. And I made sure to go to a High School as far away from my Middle School as possible. And once I started High School, no one from my old class was there. Only a couple people from the same Middle School, people who barely knew me and didn’t give a crap. Yet the fear was conditioned. Is it going to get worse now? Now these people, my new class have three years of time to realize I like girls, to toy with me, for the bullying to get exponentially worse.

At first I tried to make friends. My anxiety was terrible, I was constantly nervous, shaking, sweating, twitching. My face would sometimes flush, and I’d stutter while speaking. Heart hammering in my chest. Awkward face and head twitches that I prayed no one would notice. I was starting to get to know some people from my class. Everyone was very nice. We had fun conversations, we’d help each other with the difficult homework. I got a bit of crush on a guy who was funny and nice, who read a lot and said “in theory” a lot, even when he was talking about a practical application of something. Yet I also kind of liked a couple of the girls, they were pretty and smart, funny, one of them had similar interests as me. Maybe not crushes per say, but perhaps with time, they would turn into crushes. And I was still paranoid. And I was still waiting for them to figure out I liked girls too, for me to lose my new friends, for my whole class, including the guy I had a crush on, to gang up and start bullying me.

So I pulled away. I stopped talking to my classmates, I ate lunch alone, I spent the recesses alone. The first couple months everyone in the class had lessons together, but because in Finnish High Schools the students get to pick their courses - though many are mandatory, you get to pick which fifth of the school year to have that course, on which part of your weekly timetable, as long as the course is being offered by the school in that particular spot - only a small portion of my class would end up on the same lessons as me, and sometimes no one from my class would be there. Sometimes we’d have to sit in groups and inevitably I’d talk to people and get to know quite a few people from different classes, but mostly through teacher mandated discussions, exercises and so on. Outside the classrooms I was entirely alone, only speaking to people if I had to, never revealing too much of myself, especially my sexuality.

And the funny thing was, I went to a liberal Art High School. A big portion of the students were on advanced Art courses. And the people there were open-minded, because at least half of us were the types that had been outcasts in Middle School. There were lesbian couples, trans guys, a trans girl, a non-binary person. There was an event where the whole school was present, panelists talked about minorities, equality and the like, and when it was time to take audience questions, this one guy asked something and casually mentioned that he’s pansexual. And no one gave him shit. No one cared. Oh, you like guys and girls? Ok, cool. What’s your favorite band? Do you like (insert whatever hobby here)? Have you seen this meme? DO YOU LIKE PINEAPPLE ON PIZZA?

I spent three years in as much solitude as possible, I didn’t try to make any friends in school, because of an irrational fear. No one in my school would have cared that I was bisexual. Hell, if I had bothered to talk to more people I could’ve found an entire friend group full of bisexuals and pansexuals. Instead I focused fully on my schoolwork (and my free time interests) and settled for useless crushes on people I never talked to. At one point I had crushes on 4 different boys and probably double that amount of girls, and I’d only had a few conversations with each of them, always in the classroom, always during a group project or a philosophy dialogue or some sort of merry go round the classroom and exchange some answers to a question or little presentations or whatever.

And I think my High School experience was a usual, yet somewhat unusual example of navigating a heteronormative world as a bisexual. I was in a constant state of fight or flight, trying to survive any potential homophobia or even biphobia that could be thrown at me. In some other High School, this would have been the best course of action. Just a couple kilometers away from my school was a Sports High School, notorious for, let’s just say less than intellectually curious or open-minded sporty guys. There my tactic of avoidance would have been advisable. Make friends outside of school if possible, do not engage people in the school. But I spent three years in probably the most open-minded and anti-bullying High School in my city, and already within a couple months I had met a lesbian couple, two trans guys and probably many more lgbt people who didn’t happen to outwardly express or talk about things in those few moments in the classroom that would have hinted at their identity. Three years, and I just. Stayed the same. My anxiety was still too bad during first year, second year I just wanted to focus on school and figured I’m just a lone wolf, and I’m fine not really having friends, and by third year I figured it was too late to make friends now. And then I graduated.

And while my sexuality was the biggest reason for my alienation, my gender and gender expression were still there as well. I presented as female but not overly feminine for my first two years of High School, which somehow added to my paranoia of being seen as a lesbian. I never really felt a connection to either gender, or that core feeling of “i’m definitely a woman” or “i’m definitely a man”. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s hormonal or otherwise biological in part, maybe it’s in part due to my bisexuality, never feeling like I belong with the girls or the guys, even though sexuality doesn’t equal gender and vice versa. Maybe it’s because my mother wasn’t feminine, and my parents didn’t really force feminine gender roles on me growing up. Maybe it’s just how my brain works. With indifference towards “a gender identity” and a need to not be gendered. To appear androgynous. To be masculine when I’ve been as female for too long. To be feminine when I’ve been seen as male for too long.

I identified as agender in my second year of High School, I tried to tell my mom but she didn’t understand, and started using an abnormal amount of gendered (feminine) words about me. And I felt horrible. I hated everything about me that made me look so feminine in the eyes people around me. I hated my boobs, I hated my long hair, I hated my curvy figure. It went on for some time, and I started thinking... maybe I’m a trans guy. Maybe that’s why I hate being seen as female, why I felt like a boy trapped in the girls’ locker room in Middle School. I cut my hair short. I started binding again. I wore masculine clothes. I tried to deepen my voice when talking. I switched my hand bag to a back pack. I started trying to lose weight. I started using the name “Alex” online. I didn’t choose it because it was masculine. I chose it because it’s gender neutral. At first I thought it was because that way I could change my legal name before transitioning. Now I think it’s because of the gender neutrality itself.

I started getting more involved in the tumblr gazette fandom, making all sorts of shitposts, commenting on posts a lot, being social. And I started making friends again. I didn’t know them in real life, but I still considered them my friends. I’ve always wanted to travel as much as possible, and having friends all over the world means the trips abroad I’m planning on making can also double as visiting my friends. I got into my first relationship with one of my online friends, and though it didn’t work out because of the distance, we’re best friends now. I’ve made many great friends online, and I definitely want to keep being friends with them. They’ve been the first I’ve been able to properly come out to and who have accepted me as who I am, and I’m forever grateful for that.

My friends online were the first to call me by my chosen name of Alex and refer to me with male pronouns and words. And it meant the world to me. It eased the discomfort of mostly being seen as female by my family, by people at school and so on. Over the past year or so I’ve given my parents hints about my gender identity and my sexuality, but either they haven’t caught on or they won’t make a big deal about it unless I come out to them in some form. Maybe I feel like it doesn’t matter, maybe I’m scared to come out fully to my parents before I’m on my own and don’t need their financial support, don’t need their presence or their love or their acceptance. My parents have some gay friends and generally haven’t expressed homophobic opinions or behavior, but it might be different when it’s their own kid who’s queer.

Being seen as male by my friends and female by others was fine for some time. Strangers on the street would sometimes look confused looking at me, not exactly sure whether I’m a very butch girl or a guy with a curvy figure. I felt like I was starting to teeter more towards people interpreting me as male than female. And suddenly, I started hating the masculine things about myself. I stopped binding. I stopped cutting my hair short. I started doing my makeup again, though almost always just for selfies. For my graduation, I wore a suit. A few days after graduation I went shopping and bought a dress and some feminine accessories. I started feeling the pressure of needing to lose weight even more heavily than before. I look hideous in a dress. I need a slimmer figure. It was a familiar feeling, it was like 7th grade, but different. No one was pressuring me to be feminine. Yet I felt an even more dire need that before to be feminine.

I’m identifying as agender again. I’m not a man, but I’m not really a woman either. My biological characteristics are what they are. Some days I hate my boobs and want a flat chest, some days I think they’re sort of nice. Some days I want to look as feminine as possible, to have long hair again, to wear my makeup especially pretty, to have the figure or the confidence to wear my dresses. Some days I relish looking androgynous, some days I want look like a guy, deepen my voice a bit, wear a confident smirk, hide my boobs, inhabit the space around me in a more assertive way. I don’t have crushes currently, but I see some women and men and I feel attracted to them. I wish for a cute goth gf. I wish for a bf/gf or a non-binary partner who understands me, who inspires me, who challenges me intellectually. Yet part of me says I could never have that, that I’m unattractive and a loser. But part of me says, who knows. Part of me says, hell yeah, you deserve it! If not in a romantic then definitely in a platonic sense. It took me a long time to accept the same-sex part of my attraction but now that I have, I want to just go out and meet cute girls, I want to talk about girls and I’ve filled my playlist with wlw songs, I want to draw cute girls, and just. G I R L S!!

But I still lack the confidence. I’m still nervous, though much less than before. I’m afraid that me and my girlfriend will have to hide behind a platonic illusion in public, or even among some of the people in our life. I’m afraid we’ll get harassed or even assaulted. I’m afraid the same will happen with my non-binary partner when we’re both presenting and reading as very feminine or masculine. Hell, if I lose enough weight, wear baggy clothes, cut my hair short again and contour my already androgynous face to look masculine, some shitblossom on the street might even call me and my boyfriend “faggots”.

It’s so much easier to just stay in my shell, not get close to people, not risk getting crushes or dating. It would be devastating to make friends with people who I have things in common with and who are fun and inspiring to be around, only for them go “haha, yeah, it’s just a phase” “you’re a woman and that’s it, stop with that special snowflake bullshit” “oh so you’re a cheater” when I tell them I’m bisexual and identify as non-binary. I probably won’t come out to my family for a year or two, or maybe I’ll only come out once I change my name, or once I have girlfriend or an afab partner.

I’m an introvert, I’m cynical, I like being alone, I’ve been more of a lone wolf since childhood, preferring to play alone, preferring reading and drawing over sports or other social hobbies, I can be very critical of people and get socially exhausted easily. But I’m also afraid of making connection, making friends, dating, being fully open and honest with my family, because I’m a bisexual in a heteronormative society, because I genuinely do not feel fully female or male in terms of social gender and gender expression in a world that says you’re either a man and male or a woman and female.

And next time that negative part of me tells me I’m going to live my life alone, I’ll realize it’s not because I’m unlovable or a freak. In part, it’s because I’ve been conditioned, like so many other LBGT people, to be constantly on edge, in a near constant state of fight or flight in a society that should be full of other humans, of friends, acquaintances, humanity and solidarity, but appears full of tigers and lions and snakes just waiting for us to make the wrong move and devour us.

It shouldn’t be the case. Not even the majority of straight cis people are homophobic/transphobic (in most western societies), yet the fear that the minority conditions us to have can so easily become generalized, to the point where we might want to avoid all people as much as possible, to disconnect ourselves from everything. Sometimes the only way to be free of that fear, even occasionally, is to just surround ourselves with people who are also LBGT. But I’d like to see the day when we won’t have to fear any more than the average straight person. I’d like to see the day I could make friends without checking that they’re LBGT first, without fearing the potential discrimination and rejection when I happen to mention my girlfriend in front of a straight friend. I’d like to see the day when I’m not cooped up in my room listening to Hayley Kiyoko with the headphones on so my mom doesn’t hear, wondering how different the past few years could have been if I hadn’t been so damn afraid.

#long post #a rant/essay

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shadysadie · 7 years

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Sailor Moon 90s Dub Names

So some of the name changes in the Sailor Moon DiC dub really baffle me. (Keep in mind I did not watch Sailor Moon as a kid, I was vaguely aware of it's existence, but I never watched a single episode until I was a senor in high school, so I started with the sub and have no nostalgic ties to the DiC/Cloverway dub. However I did read the Mixx version of the manga so I was exposed to the changed names there and later I heard so much about the dub I went and watched a handful of episode out of curiosity)

Lets start with the title character

Usagi – DiC name: Serena – Mixx name: Bunny

Okay Usagi is weird because she actually has two dub names, obviously Serena in the anime, but a lot of people don't seem to know in the first American printing of the manga she was actually called Bunny. Now I don't know which came out first in America the manga or the anime, and I'm too lazy to look it up, but I'm going to guess the manga did just because of this reason. Changing Usagi to Bunny actually isn't too stupid, Anime hadn't quite taken over America yet so a lot of people still got rattled by super foreign names. As I get older I do start to understand localization was the thing in the 90s. Since Bunny is literally what Usagi means I didn't find this too stupid. Plus it shows why Usagi is obsessed with rabbits.

Serena though? I don't think Serena fits the character AT ALL! Not only does it simply sound like it doesn't fit the character, but look at the name meaning: "clear, tranquil, serene" none of those things could be used to describe Usagi. And yes, I know the same could be said for Serenity but Serenity was Usagi's PAST LIFE, not who she is now. I've gone off on what I think of keeping her Princess name the same a few times on this blog so I won't even go there in this post.

Now, in fairness, this one I actually was given an explanation for at a con, at a panel with John Stocker (one of the men who originally helped write the dub script) I asked why they didn't just use the name “Bunny” and he said it had to do with syllables, the mouth movement for “U-sa-gi” matched the mouth movement for “Ser-ren-na” better than “Bun-ny” But since everyone but Rei and Chibiusa use honorifics, I'm calling bullshit on this excuse. (Victoria was also in the running for a dub name, which fits Usagi even less than Serena, but at least the syllable excuse would work for that one.)

Mamoru Chiba– DiC and Mixx name: Darien Shields

I have to admit, I find it hilarious that they do try to capture the name meaning here. Mamoru literally means “Protect”, and so I laugh that they just literally make his last name “Shields”. To be honest, while I find it a kind of boring name, I don't think it contrasts him too terribly much because I kind of find Mamoru to be a boring character. (sorry Mamo) Like I could totally see him as a Darien, that's fine, it's the 90s, whatever. But again, like with Princess Serena, do we really need to make his past life's name “Prince Darien” Seriously? Along with it being lazy. Darien does not sound royal to me, particularly not fantasy/mythology status royal. And Endymion is a great name with a great story behind it! Like why did we have to cut out that mythological tie? In Greek Mythology an astronomer (or shepherd depending on variations) name Endymion fell in love with the goddess of the moon and was cursed by Zeus, that's a great detail that totally gets erased.

Chibiusa (Usagi Small Lady Serenity) – DiC and Mixx name: Rini (No official princess name to my knowledge)

This one totally disproves the syllables excuse because there's no way in hell anyone thought “Chi-Bi-Us-Sa” was the same mouth movement as “Ri-ni” But I suppose this one makes sense since Chibiusa is a nickname for Usagi, Rini is a nickname for Serena. I suppose the name fits her well enough, though I do think in the Black Moon Arc the enemy kept referring to her as “Small Lady” instead of “Rabbit”. Like, okay, whatever, her name isn't Usagi, Rabbit wouldn't make sense. But then at one point the enemies try to trick her by appearing as Neo-Queen Serenity and she calls her Small Lady, and Chibs is all like “My mommy would NEVER call me Small Lady, you're not really her” like, no bitch, that's your name! It's not a title, Usagi was just that corny when she named you. DiC DON'T CUT USAGI'S CORNINESS!

Ami Mizuno – DiC and Mixx name: Amy Anderson – Cloverway: Amy Mizuno

Okay Ami, Rei, Mina, and Michiru I can't criticize too much because they're just the American translation of the Japanese names so I don't really mind, they're spelled different, but so what? But Ami baffles me because she's the only one of the girls with a different last name. Like, why? Seriously, why? Even Usagi's last name stays the same and that's arguably much more Japanese sounding than Mizuno. I mean, don't get me wrong, Anderson's my last name, it's a good last name, but why is she the only one with an American last name? But what makes it even better is Cloverway then changes it back to Mizuno and no one ever mentions it again.

Just for fun I'm also going to point out that “Blue” was in the running for a dub name for her and I think that's the funniest shit ever. “What should we name this character?” “IDK, what's her color scheme?” “Blue.” “Good enough!” I'd actually like to thank the dubbers for sticking with Amy.

Rei Hino – DiC and Mixx name: Raye Hino

Can't say much about Rei. It's spelled weird, I would have gone with Rae, but whatever. Dana was apparently in the running for her, again, glad they decided against changing it.

Makoto Kino – DiC and Mixx name: Lita Kino

I actually think Lita fits Makoto pretty well. Almost just as well as Mako-chan. Sara was also in the running which I also don't think would have been a too terribly bad choice, Lita's less generic though.

Minako Aino – DiC and Mixx name: Mina Aino

Again, same name, just a different variation of it. Artemis even calls her Mina as a nickname in the original so whateves. Carrie was in the running for her which would have been a fucking awful fit, so I'm glad they stayed with Mina.

Haruka – Cloverway name: Amara – Mixx name: Haruka but also sometime Alex

WARNING: Raging hate boner rant coming up!!!!

This is the name that actually got me to write this whole thing!

Out of all the name changes Haruka's pisses me off the most. It's SUCH a bad fit. I don't hate the name Amara itself, I actually think it's kind of pretty, but it does NOT go with this character! You give the most gender androgynous character one of the most feminine names? It doesn't fit. It sounds weird, it doesn't mesh with her personality, it seems weird every time they call her that!

And what's most baffling to me, THEY STILL PLAY THE 'IS SHE A GUY?' GAME! When Usagi and Minako meet her, they still pad after her thinking she's a guy. Haruka is a name that while typically more common for women, is gender neutral. Amara is definitely not. How can you not hear the name “Amara” and not instantly think, “Oh, shit, that's a chick”

Now the Mixx Manga did something weird, because they introduced the character as Alex Haruka, but only for the panel she was introduced in, then she was Haruka exclusively until one panel in the Dream Arc when she's called Alex again, but that's it. So...great proof reading there guys. Honestly Alex should have been her name in the Cloverway dub. Sure it doesn't fit her as well as Haruka does, but it fits a hell of a lot more than Amara. And more importantly it's one of the most gender neutral names ever.

Also her first draft name was Corinn, can't decide if that's better or worse than Amara. Seriourly dub, why didn't you take Alex? Or another gender neutral name? Riley? Sam? Ash? Jess? Skyler? (BTW I totally just googled “gender neutral American names” to give these examples and had to laugh cuz Skyler would have been the best, corniest pun ever)

Michiru – Cloverway name: Michelle

Again this one I have no qualms with because I've seen plenty of animes where the name Michiru and Michelle are used interchangeably depending on the dubber and the VA's accent. Again, same name different language.

Nerissa was supposed to be her dub name, which is fucking stupid, I'm glad they stayed with Michelle.

Setsuna – Cloverway name: Trista

Okay, so this is actually the reason I know all the names that were in the running, because I actually had to look up Setsuna's dub name, not cuz I hadn't seen any episodes of the dub with Setsuna in them, but cuz the name Trista to me is really forgettable. I don't know why, it's just a super forgettable name, Setsuna, more than any of the others, even more than Haruka really, I can't see having any name other than Setsuna (other than Plu of course) though that brings me to a little side tangent. Because Chibiusa doesn't call her “Plu” in the dub, she calls her “Luna P” which, no, I'm sorry, no, just no! Luna P is Chibi's toy, not Pluto, Luna P doesn't even remotely make sense as a nickname for Pluto. Yes she does talk with Pluto using Luna P (which I think is called “the Luna Sphere” in the dub) but that doesn't mean we get to degrade a badass character such as Pluto down to the status of a stuffed floating cat's head. Bad dubbers! Bad!

Also, her almost name was Celia, which again, no, sorry. Setsuna is Setsuna.

Hotaru – Cloverway name: Hotaru – Mixx name: Hotaru, but also Jenny just a couple of times.

Last but not least, my favorite character, Hotaru. Now obviously I can't get mad here because they didn't change her name, but I am really confused as to why. Seriously I still can't figure out why they changed ever other name that sounded too Japanese but this one character. Unlike Rei or Mina, this isn't even one that can be an American name too. Hotaru definitely sounds Japanese. Why does just this one character get to keep her super Japanese sounding name? Absolutely no idea. Like Haruka the Mixx seemed to have wanted to rename her but decided against it and not been very good at telling everyone they decided against it because the name “Jenny” pops up a few times in the Manga, but only after Haruka, Michiru, and Setsuna adopt her so take that as you will. I'm glad they didn't rename her, but if they would have chose to I don't think Jenny would have been a god awful choice

#sailor moon #sailor moon dub #i wrote this at like 3 am #my mind obsesses over weird stuff at 3 am #I have no idea why

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pinkieloveheartpastel · 3 years

Text

~So o feel I must write this in order for people to not get confused on where I stand:~

~(10 Statements Total)~

💕1. Trans-women are women, Trans-men are men, non-binary people are non-fucking-binary, and anyone who says they are a certain gender, is that fucking gender. And if they say they aren’t any genders, they fucking aren’t.

💕2. Sex-WORK is REAL WORK, and I have no time for slut-shamers or transphobes. Fuck ya’ll, people, especially women, deserve to express their sexuality and own it like hell as human-fucking-beings, and are not born on this world to stifle themselves, nor to live up to some pathetic puritanical bullshit that western white society has imposed on the entire world. Oh, and sex-workers are to be respected, and are damn-well allowed to make money from something that is a legitimate job, regardless of what society says or thinks. If they’re getting paid for sex.... guess what that is? I’ll let you answer that...

.....

That’s okay, take your time.

💕3. ALL Black Lives Matter. Not just the black lives who fit your idea of what a black person is “suppose to be”. All black lives.

That means Transgender Black people, Lgbt+ Black People, Alternative black people, Atheist Black people, Satanic Black people, Black People who are Witches, Muslim Black people, Weird-ass Black people, Kawaii Black People, Cottagecore Black People, Vintage Black People, Cosplaying Black People, Poor Black People, Disabled Black People, and the Candace Owens’ because they need help. They truly need help. Omg.

💕4. R*pe and other forms of s****l a****lt are wrong, and the victim is a victim no matter their gender, and no matter what they were fucking wearing, and I cannot believe people even think it’s the victims fault for a crime a fucking predator chose to commit. Men who were sexually assaulted are victims, women, non-binary people, etc, a victim is a victim, and I dare somebody to laugh at someone who is amab who was a victim of sexual assault. Y’all are truly disgusting and this shows exactly why the patriarchy should be destroyed. It hurts men, women, non-binary people, and literally everyone else. It must be stopped.

💕5. Men are allowed to be feminine, women are allowed to be masculine, non-binary people are allowed to be masculine, feminine, androgynous, etc, and nobody owes you a form of expression just because they’re a certain gender.

Trans-women don’t owe you stereotypical femininity, or femininity at all, Trans-men don’t owe you stereotypical masculinity, or masculinity at all, Non-binary people don’t owe you androgyny, and can look cisgender, and still be non-binary.

Nobody owes you shit just because your perception of the world is binary and stereotypical.

💕6. Clothing does not have a fucking gender. Yes, I myself may perform stereotypical femininity, or call something “girly”in order to give you a clear picture of what I’m trying to describe, but that does not mean that I honestly believe that clothing actually has a gender, or is reserved for a certain type of gender. I only dress and act a certain way for fun, and because I enjoy it, and nothing more.

If clothing truly did have a gender, then it would be haunted in some way, because it’d be occupied by a gendered spirit, because cloth doesn’t have a conscience on its own.

💕7. The human body is not wrong, nor is it disgusting. Well... shitting is disgusting, obviously, and so are infections and viruses, but that is not what I mean.

The human body having genitals and sexual urges is not something that should be seen as disgusting or wrong, and it’s wrong for people to force others to believe that they’re somehow wrong for feeling certain urges, or having body parts.

I remember growing up thinking that having sexual thoughts and urges was wrong, and was never told otherwise. And yes, I also grew up being forced into having a Christian mindset, so the idea of sex being wrong made me scared of my own body, and myself, and made me feel ashamed of my own body for years before I even realized that what I was forced into believing was the only thing that was wrong, and disgusting.

To make things perfectly clear: Not liking sex is perfectly fine, and loving sex is also perfectly fine... What is NOT perfectly fine is forcing your problematic ideas onto other people, in order to make them feel like who they are, and what they’re doing is wrong.

If what they’re doing isn’t harming anyone, nor themselves...

✨💕Leave Them The Fuck Alone.💕✨

If someone does not like sex at all, respect that. If they do like sex, respect that. If they are also asexual, respect that or else. I have no time for aphobia. NONE.

✨💕Oh, and asexuals are still asexual regardless of whether or not they enjoy sex, or have had sex. Asexuality is based on attraction, not action.💕✨

💕8. 🌸😜😙🐳🐇🐙✨The male gaze is disgusting and should be destroyed. Fuck the male gaze. I hope it burns.✨🐙🐇🐳😙😜🌸💕

💕9. Colorists, Featurists and Texturists beware. I don’t got time for yourself, and never did.

Black people with 4c hair, pitch-black skin, wide noses, and big lips are extremely beautiful and I dare you to say otherwise. The natural-hair movement is an absolutely joke because the black women who claim to care about black women only care about black women who either don’t look black at all, or are closest to white, and have hair, and features in general, that are closest to white as well, and shit on black women especially who live freely, and unbothered, with 4c hair that is not done in any way. Black women are allowed to have hair that is undone and not “of the standard”. We will live. We shall live. With or without your permission, which I personally don’t fucking want. Ew.

💕10. Black people who abuse children and make excuses for their abuse deserve to have their hands broken.

Any human being who puts their hands on anyone, especially a child, and then tries to paint the child to be the bad guy in order to justify their toxic agenda, is a foul and vile human being who deserves to have their children taken away, and needs to stay away from children in general, as well as non-human animals, because we all know they’ll pick on any living being who can’t stand up for themselves, nor speak for themselves.

That’s what they truly want. To take their own unchecked anger and trauma, from being abused themselves as children, out on someone who not only has nothing to do with that, but does not need that at all. A living being deserves to feel safe and secure, no matter what they did, or who they are.

And they deserve to feel human, and to make mistakes, and feel like they can learn and do better from that, and grow as a person without fearing for their life. Whether that’s occasional, or on a daily basis.

Just because you can have a child, doesn’t mean you deserve one. Just because you can adopt a non-human animal companion, doesn’t mean you deserve one.

~.Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.~

~.Pinkie.~

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