#oh wow on that note ive had this blog for a yr now

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Our Anasazi Experience Pt. 1: Ivie’s Interview

I have sat down countless times to write this blog post, and it was like my fingers just wouldnt work. I have had so many emails from parents that are worried and families that are in crisis that I know it’s time to share something. Even if we’re still close to it, even though we dont have a 20/20 perspective yet, and even though we are still very much finding our footing and working through stuff.

I know that this is a very public forum. Sharing this is something that we decided as a family. We arent putting our daughter “on blast”. She very bravely opened up about going to Anasazi before we even considered sharing it. I dont know about you but at 16 I was for sure not woke enough to know that sharing the hard thing I’m struggling with could lighten someone else’s burden. As a mother there is nothing in this world that I could be more proud of her for. 

This post like all of the posts we share about our story with addiction, is about hope. I mean, what’s the point of going through rough stuff if in the end it doesnt help anyone? Here is our experience. We hope with our whole hearts that it can help one of you! 

Our 16 yr old daughter was struggling. Without going into to too much detail (honestly it’s irrelevant now that we’ve experienced Anasazi) we were completely lost with how to help. For years we had tried all of the things that people suggested and it just wasnt helping her. Knowing what I know now, there was no way that she could change without our family changing as well, but that is what we kept trying to do. Change her, fix her. The reality is that our whole family was in crisis. We ALL needed to be changed.

I had some pretty inspired revelation that she needed to go to the Anasazi wilderness program. (You can read more about that here!)

The Anasazi Foundation is a non-profit wilderness therapy program for teens and adults. It is grounded in Native American traditions and outdoor survivalist methods. Anasazi has their own language for stuff, so as I use it I’ll make sure to clarify what it means! The YoungWalkers (as the kids are called) live in the wilds of Arizona for 7-8 weeks and it is one of the most inspired programs I have ever experienced. They are taken out of the world and given tools that help them see themselves differently. 

Those that have been following along for a while know that Court and I LOVE the LDS 12 Step program, I love Anasazi just as much. It is inspired and saved our family. In fact we love and believe in it so much that every single one of our kids will be going, whether they are struggling or not. 

The incredible thing about Anasazi is that it isnt just sending your kid off to get “fixed”. As parents and family members we are also doing really intense work. Even though we’re not physically walking like they are, we are walking in our hearts right along with them. They have a powerful workshop that you get to attend when you drop your Youngwalker off that changed my whole outlook on life. 

Anasazi believes that every child is good; that they have a Seed of Greatness. The Trailwalkers (the staff that lives and hikes with the Youngwalkers) are so positive. They understand the sacred responsibility that we as parents have trusted them with, and they love those kids hard. They magnify every good thing they see in that child in ways that only an outsider full of compassion and a deep desire for connection can. They see and focus on things that we as parents are missing in our every day frustrated interactions. They dont know anything about the Youngwalker’s past or situation, they go in completely open to learning about them and treating them with compassion and love. 

Each Youngwalker has a Shadow (Therapist) that they meet with once a week. The Shadow goes out on the trail and has sittings (sessions) with them. Court and I also met with him via phone once a week for a report on Ive and to help us with the things that we were working on. Shadow G is part of our family forever. We love him!!

Life on the Trail

I did a little interview with Ive about what life on the trail was like. I wanted to share it from her perspective. Because TBH if I just listed the facts of what they did and didnt have, and did and didnt do, its intense. But no one has died, so that’s good right?!

After some of her answers I chime in with a little more detail/clarity, these notes will start with an asterisk*.

If someone is sending or thinking about sending their child out on the trail, what do you want them to know about it?

Um, that it sucks at first but it gets easier. Ya, it pretty much just sucks (laughs) but it’s a really good experience and you wont regret going. Send them!

In the beginning, what was the hardest thing about being on the trail?

Not being able to see my family. Not knowing anyone in my band yet.

The band is group of people that you’re stuck with. (laughs) You have to learn to like them and work together. It was hard because you dont want to be stuck in a place where you dont like the people you are around cause that makes you unhappy and its unpleasant.

There are a lot of different personalities in the band. Some people I got along with really easily and some people were harder. I met my best friend when I first walked into the office. Meeting her was the best thing of my whole life. We left on the trail together and came home at the same time. If you are going out there I would try really hard to find a friend, because some people are weird. Parents, you’ll get the stories when they get home. That’s all I’m going to say. There are lots of different reasons that people go out on the trail. Some people didnt really have a huge reason, and some were using it like rehab, most of us were somewhere in the middle.

Being in the band taught me that we have the choice to learn to love people even though you want to punch them in the ass. (laughs)

*A band is what they call the group of kids, they keep boys and girls separate. The bands range in size but aren’t larger than 9 Youngwalkers. 

Tell me about the hiking.

It sucks. You hike almost every day for 2 months. But it feels so good when you get to your camp spot and you can take off your 50 pound pack and lay down…on rocks. (laughing) It’s fun when you have a friend. Hiking taught me to push through hard things. Cause when you wanted to give up you couldn’t, or else you wouldn’t get where you needed to go.

Tell me about the pack.

The pack is a pain, emotionally and physically. It’s really heavy and you have to learn to pack it. I’m making this whole experience sound really bad, IT’S GOOD I PROMISE. In my pack I had a sleeping bag, tarp, fire set, food pack, burrito, books, extra clothes, toiletries. It’s heavy as hell.

Ivie’s first week on the trail

*The pack has everything the YW needs for the week, it’s not a traditional hiking backpack like we are used to, they use the things in the pack to actually build it. Everything gets wrapped in the tarp and the straps of the pack are made out of the burrito (the burrito is a canvas cocoon with snaps, they can use it for a million different things!)

Tell me about the food.

It tastes um-not good at first, I’m like why am I eating rice? But by the end you are a gourmet chef. You get really creative with the food pack. I loved Beanie Mac, Ash Cakes with butter and brown sugar, Beans and Rice, Cheesy Beanie Rice and Cold Gold. 

*Having experienced Ivie’s cooking at Family Camp I can tell you that she did in fact become a chef. They can make anything out of the food pack ingredients if they put their mind to it! She said that they talked about food a lot on the trail, and she had a list of what she wanted to eat when she came home.

Tell me about making fire.

You make fire with a bow and spindle. Its really hard and frustrating. When you very first make the fire it’s like the coolest feeling in the world. Because you’re like damn I just did that. Once you learn how to you feel like a god! Cause you’re just making fire! And once you make it you dont want to stop. 

Tell me about your trail name

A trail name is a name given to you. It represents things that the Trailwalkers see in your personality or things that relate to you. Like an animal, or thing in nature. It speaks to you. I thought it was literally cool, like “Oh wow, you see that in me?” My trail name is Golden Warrior Butterfly. Golden means the I have an essence of light, Warrior means I’m loyal to my friends and family, and Butterfly means that I have the ability to change.

Tell me about the Trailwalkers

The Trailwalkers are really good people. They’re really nice and they treat you like you are their own and they care about you a lot. Some of them are really excited and happy, so you might want to prepare yourself for that. Most of them are really chill. They have different personalities and everyone finds somebody they connect with.

*The trailwalkers walk for a week with the band and then new trailwalkers come in, so the dynamic is always changing but is always full of love. We were able to talk to some of the trailwalkers when they came off after spending the week with Ive. You could feel how much they loved her and it was powerful to hear all of the wonderful things they said about her.

Tell me about your Shadow

Shadow G!! I love that guy. He was my best friend out there. We talked about everything, like, literally you could name anything and I’m positive that we talked about it. I miss him!

What was the hardest part about living on the trail?

Not being able to shower, not seeing my family, hiking everyday, sleeping on the ground and peeing my pants. That sucked really bad.

What was the funnest part about being on the trail?

When we had free days. That was the best! You just got to hang out with everyone and not hike. Cause like, when you’re hiking all the time you dont want to talk. Then youre out of breath and dont want to talk because you have to go slower or stop so you dont make it to your spot. When we had off days you could just sit and talk and get to know everyone.

Do you feel like the trail made you a different person?

Ya, I still pretty much act the same, not the bad stuff though. I dont do that anymore. It made me realize that I didnt need all that stuff I was doing before. It also make me realize that there were people I didnt need in my life. So when I got home I cut all of that stuff out. Oh and not depressed anymore! 

If someone has a kid that is struggling and they are worried that their kid will be mad if they go on the trail what would you tell them?

That the kid will probably be mad. (laughs) I’m not going to lie, there were a lot of people out there that were pissed at first. But if you can, don’t Goon them (Goon means you have a transport company pick them up without their knowledge and take them) It makes the kids more pissed and you’re stuck in the woods. I felt so bad for all the people that were taken like that. Tell them in advance that they are going so they can emotionally and mentally prepare. 

What advice would you have for kids who’s parents are sending them on the trail?

Suck it up because it’s going to be great. It sucks, it sucks so bad. But it’s worth it in the end. Power through!

What did you learn about yourself?

That I’m pretty cool and I’m a lot stronger than I thought I was. You learn a lot about yourself and how strong you are and who you want to become.

Are you glad that you went on the trail?

Yes. 

*Teenagers 🙄

How has it been since you’ve been home?

It’s been good. It’s a lot better than it was before. I mean, it is really hard coming home because you cant be around a lot of people, sound or light, I almost had a panic attack when I got home because my entire family was there and it was a lot of people. (laughs) Love you guys missed you, I promise!

How do you feel our family changed after Anasazi?

I feel like we understand each other more. We try to use our tools to get along and I dont know, it just made us all come together.

Isnt she the best?

This video of meeting her on the trail is the most special thing that I own and if it doesnt give you hope then I dont know what will!

              View this post on Instagram

                    WE GOT OUR GIRL BACK! I can’t wait to tell you all about it, but for the moment we’re soaking up all of her light! @iviegubler @anasazifoundation

A post shared by Mandi Gubler | Fearless DIYer (@vintagerevivals) on Nov 1, 2019 at 8:07pm PDT

  I thought instead of chiming in with all of my thoughts and making this already long post even longer, that I’d give you guys a change to ask some questions and do a follow up post. So feel free to leave them below! 

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