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creampuffqueen · 4 years

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Manon x Dorian baby heacanons

Introducing: witches!

-Manon and Dorian are, to say the least, an interesting couple

-They both have a TON of rebuilding to do after the war, so they're incredibly busy. They do see each other fairly frequently, though, as their countries border one another and Manon comes to train the wyverns.

-And whenever she's over in Adarlan, Dorian always meets her. Like always. Almost like he misses and cares about her or something.

-And we all know what these two get up to when they meet. We know what goes on in those bedrooms, closets, bathrooms, abandoned hallways, etc.

-But as Dorian's court, and his mother, return to the castle, people are pushing him to get married. His mother is flinging courtly ladies at him every other day.

-The witches don't care if Manon gets married, because it wouldn't matter anyway. A man that married into the royal bloodline could never be a witch king, unless he was an actual witch.

-But people in Adarlan want a queen.

-And Dorian is thinking about Manon all the time, he never stops thinking about her. He also thinks about what Yrene said when they parted, about them getting married.

-Finally when Manon comes to visit, Dorian decides to talk with her about it. She's slowly getting better at talking about her feelings, so she doesn't immediately slice Dorian in half when he suggests they talk.

-Dorian remembers her proposal, that night in the snow during the war. He knows she could never stand to be shackled to someone.

-So they talk about it

-And they come to the conclusion: They could stand to be married to each other.

-But the problem is that both are sole rulers of their countries. Manon has no heirs, nor does Dorian, and there's no way in hell he's letting Hollin have the throne.

-So they decide that they will be married. But they will live in their own countries and see each other as much as possible. That way they can still rule, but they will appease the people and themselves. And since they won't always be living together, Manon won't feel tied down.

-Dorian jokingly gets down on one knee to pop the question, Manon just rolls her eyes, says "yes" and hauls him to his feet before shutting him up with a kiss.

-They announce it right before she leaves, and Dorian is surprised his mother doesn't faint with the shock.

-Dorian decides to go with Manon to the wastes to announce it, and nobody there is surprised. Like at all. Glennis just grins at him, and the rest of the witches are like "congrats. Let's eat".

-The wedding is a quiet affair. They invite their friends and family, and it's a quick ceremony. Manon wears her flying leathers and strides down the isle with Abraxos at her side.

-Despite the simplicity, it's a good wedding, and Manon feels happy for the first time in ages.

-For the first six months they hardly leave each other's sides. They alternate between the Wastes and Adarlan. It's great. After six months they separate just a little, like Dorian going back to the palace for a while, and Manon stays in the Wastes. They still prefer to be together, though.

-After Yrene, Aelin, and Elide start popping out children left and right, Manon and Dorian are like "oh yeah, we should probably do that soon."

-Honestly they're the most chill couple out there. They have a chill talk about the whole heir situation, and decide this:

-They need two heirs, one for each kingdom. As a man Dorian can have kids for like seventy more years to come, but they want to have some while he's still young, and they want to have some near the age of the other kids they'll inevitably be hanging out with.

-So they try for a baby.

-With Manon's Crochan blood and Dorian's magic, they conceive quickly.

-With how busy they've been, Manon hasn't had much time to dwell on the past. But when she finds out she's expecting it all comes rushing back. Asterin would have been so happy for her. All of the Thirteen would have been so happy for her.

-Her pregnancy is fairly easy, compared to some. She's mostly just very emotional, and it's annoying because she has to keep up a badass reputation with her subjects.

-Dorian is so on top of things, he just wants her to be safe. Manon is conflicted between letting herself be cooped up, as is the witch custom, or just going on normally. She decides to act normal around everyone except Dorian, who is the only person she will allow to bundle her up and keep her confined.

-Dorian is so so excited to be a dad, he's already a bomb uncle to little Amelie and Rygan, and he adores all the other kids he's around. But deep down he's super super worried, because his dad was an asshole and what if he ends up like him?

-Manon is sick of being pregnant when she's like five months in. Because people are treating her differently, even Dorian, acting like she's fragile. And she's not fragile, but at the same time she's scared that she is because she grew up hearing the horror stories of witch birthings. But Crochans have it easier, they often have multiple children, so she hopes she can make it through.

-Yrene offers to deliver the baby, which Manon is fine with. Even more fine with when she suddenly goes into labor about a month early.

-Its a good thing Yrene was at the castle with her husband and children for a small party (Celebrating Chaol's birthday)

-The baby comes fast, like, born in only a few hours fast.

-Manon holds her baby in the wee hours of the morning. The baby doesn't have the same birthday as Chaol.

-It's a girl, which Manon already knew. She knew she'd have a little witchling.

-Despite the fact that the baby was born early, Manon is perfectly fine.

-And despite the fact she was born early and is a little small, the baby is perfectly fine as well.

-The baby has shining black hair, like her father. But when she opens her eyes they are a burning gold like her mothers.

-They decide to wait a bit to name her. They want to know what her future will be.

-After some talking a bit of debate, they decide again. This couple has become very good at making decisions.

-This baby girl will be the Crown Princess of Adarlan. This is since Dorian is mortal, and he could die, at like, any time. In theory.

-He won't, but you know what I mean. Adarlan needs an heir before the Wastes do.

-Because she's Adarlan's princess, Manon hands over the naming to Dorian.

-He wonders aloud if its tasteless to name your baby after a dead lover. Manon shrugs and says "Aelin and Rowan have done it. Just name the gods damned baby"

-She is named Aris Sorscha Blackbeak Crochan-Havilliard. Her name rivals that of Lyria Nehemia Ashryver Whitethorn Galathynius.

-Aris is a good baby. A very good baby. She's always smiling and is sweet and very curious

-Surprisingly, Manon takes to motherhood very easily and naturally. At first whenever the baby cried she put her in bed with her and Dorian, but eventually she just gives up on the crib and they all co-sleep, which Manon later informs Dorian is something most witch mothers do. But she thought she wouldn't be able to stand having a baby in her bed, which is why she tried the crib.

-Dorian is a bomb dad. He never puts that child down, like, ever. Manon thinks it cute until she wants to hold the baby, then its annoying.

-They don't know if it's safe for a baby to travel by wyvern, so Manon rules her kingdom by messenger for about six months.

-Then she starts wyvern-training Aris

-She and Dorian take the baby to Abraxos, who falls in love with the babe at first sight. A few days later they take her on a small flight around a tower. Then around the garden, just over the top of the bushes. Then around the castle. Aris loves it, and she lets out little baby squeals and giggles.

-Being a witch, the air pressure doesn't bother her, and Manon watches her infant daughter flick down her third eyelid against the wind on instinct.

-They bring her to the Wastes, where everyone is happy to see them. There's an actual party for the homecoming of Aris, despite the fact the witches know she's not their heir.

-Glennis takes on her role of grandmother, or in this case, great-grandmother.

-Aris takes her first steps in the Wastes, as any proper witchling should. By this time its plain as day that she has Ironteeth blood. Whenever the baby gets excited she accidentally flicks out her iron teeth or nails.

-Her first birthday is celebrated in Adarlan, and she says her first word the same day. It's "dada"

-After her first birthday, Aris starts to show signs of her father's raw magic. Random objects will be thrown from the shelves whenever she throws a tantrum, gusts of wind blow through the nursery whenever she dreams, water will spurt from her bottle across the room, and other incidents occur.

-Aris is extremely curious, and she has a bit of a free spirit. She has a whole castle to roam and explore, and explore it she does. Dorian and Manon lose count of how many times they lose the baby.

-When she's about a year and three quarters, Manon suddenly gets a little bit of baby fever. She can't believe her daughter is almost two, and she longs for the days when she was just a wee babe in her arms, and not a squirming, magic witchling toddler. She loves her baby, but she can't believe how fast she's grown.

-She thinks its a bit undignified to feel like this, but she tells Dorian anyway. They decide to start thinking about another baby, an Heir for the Wastes.

-Well, thinking apparently leads to doing, because Manon finds out she's pregnant again about a month later.

-They tell Aris first, that she's going to be a big sister. She's so excited that the bedspread catches fire. Good thing they're used to things like that at this point and Dorian quickly puts it out and gets new sheets.

-Manon's second pregnancy isn't as emotional as it is nauseating. She's so sick, she can't hardly think about flying or else she'll puke. They're in the Wastes at this point, and Dorian has to return to Adarlan for an important meeting, and he doesn't want to leave Aris with Manon when her mother can hardly move without getting sick. So he takes the baby with him, and Aris is separated from her mother for the first time.

-She handles it surprisingly well, except for asking "wheres mommy" every ten minutes.

-Dorian spends as much time with his wife as he can while she's pregnant, but because the pregnancy is so rough he often has to take full charge of Aris, which usually means he has to leave Manon.

-It's upsetting, but it all works out in the end.

-The second Blackbeak Crochan-Havilliard girl is born in the middle of the afternoon, in the Witch Kingdom. Dorian had planned to bring Aris with him to stay with Manon in the final stretch of her pregnancy, but the baby comes early, while Dorian is still in Adarlan.

-Another witchling, with moon-white hair and sapphire eyes.

-Manon's heir, the Crown Princess of the Witch Kingdom

-Manon names her daughter Nysa Asterin

-She wishes she could name her daughter after all of the Thirteen, but that would be way too many names. So she settles for Asterin

-Right from the start, Nysa is a difficult baby. Unlike Aris, she is very fussy all the time and only quiets down if she's being held. After being separated from her family for so long Manon isn't going anywhere anytime soon, so she's fine with constantly holding a baby.

-Aris loves her baby sister, she always wants to hold her, but that makes Nysa cry, so then Aris gets upset and cries too.

-Nysa is wyvern-trained as well, and she loves it as much as her sister does.

-All of Nysa's firsts are in the Wastes. First steps, first words (Mama), first birthday. She goes to Adarlan as well, but she waits to have a first until she gets back to the Witch Kingdom

-Its right after Nysa's first birthday that Manon starts to feel funny. Like a, morning sickness funny.

-Oh

-They didn't plan for a third baby. They didn't plan for another baby at all. They had their heirs, their perfect and wonderful daughters, and that was all they needed.

-But, hey, it's happened, and there's no turning back now.

-So they tell their girls that they're getting another sister. Because Manon is sure that she's having another girl.

-This pregnancy isn't hard, like, at all. It's a breath of fresh air after the last one, especially since she has to look after two toddlers this time.

-And as usual, Manon is right. It's a baby girl.

-Her hair is white, like hers, but her eyes...

-One is bright gold. And the other is sparkling sapphire

-She's gorgeous

-They decide on her name together, because she technically is heir to both kingdoms.

-Her name is Kerrigan Rhiannon, along with her massive amount of last names.

-And holy gods, Kerrigan is a wild child.

-She walks and talks earlier than both her older sisters. By the time she's one and a half she's stringing together full sentences.

-And like both her sisters, she has both the iron nails and teeth, and raw magic. And she uses all her abilities to make trouble. Since she's not really a Crown Princess like her sisters, she gets away with a lot more and gets into way more trouble.

-When the girls are six, four, and three, Manon and Dorian decide to split them up and take them to their respective kingdoms. They see each other and visit often, but they spend a majority of their time with one parent. Except for Kerrigan, who hops between her parents nearly every time they visit.

-As the girls grow and their training gets more intense, both as warriors/magic wielders and princesses, they spend less and less time together.

-Of course, except for Kerrigan. She does what she wants. She has basic etiquette lessons and basic fighting lessons, but that's about it. Sometimes she requests more training, sometimes she doesn't.

-Manon and Dorian do their best to keep their children on good terms with each other, but it can be hard. Mostly between Aris and Nysa.

-The schedule for living with their parents is that they stay with one for nine months, and the other for three. Aris stays with Dorian for 9 and Manon 3, and Nysa has the opposite. And again. Kerrigan does what she wants.

-Some jealousy grows between the sisters, for getting to spend more time with one parent or whatever. Sometimes Kerrigan gets jealous that her sisters have such a structured life, and sometimes her sisters get jealous that she gets to do what she wants.

-As Aris gets older, she gets very bookish. She lives with Dorian for nine months of the year, so it's natural she loves reading. But she loves reading so much that she'll stay up late and be tired in the morning. Dorian, with a heavy heart, tells Aris that she can't read at night so she won't be tired. And Aris, naturally, doesn't listen, and instead reads by a single candle, or sometimes by moonlight. She does it so much she wrecks her eyesight.

-Nysa, living with witches for most of the year, is a lot more ruthless and bloodthirsty than her older sister is. She isn't raised to be a killing machine, like Manon was, but she's raised to be powerful.

-This difference in training creates a bit of a rift between Aris and Nysa, as Nysa believes her sister isn't using her full potential as a raw magic wielding witch when she spends so much time reading, and Aris thinks her sister is too bloodthirsty.

-However, they keep their arguments to themselves. So much, in fact, that their own parents don't know they don't get along

-When Nysa is ten, she begs Manon for a wyvern. And in this case, Manon relents to her children right away. She lets all three of them get a wyvern.

-She lets them each pick a hatchling and train it themselves. (Or really, train it themselves with quite a bit of help from Manon)

-And honestly it's the best feeling ever for Manon to be riding Abraxos through the clouds, with her daughters following behind her on their own wyverns and whooping to the skies.

-It's the best mother-daughter bonding moment possible. When they go off riding Dorian always conveniently has something to do. Really he just loves the idea of his wife and daughters all having bonding time together.

-For Dorian, the best bonding moments with his daughters differ for each. With Aris its either reading together or teaching her to do ballroom dances. With Nysa it's fencing and sparring. And with Kerrigan it's teaching her how to use her magic.

-They're a sight to see all together, five terrifying yet attractive people, all on wyverns.

-And even though they squabble and fight, they still all love each other.

-And that love is all Manon and Dorian could ever ask for.

The story Worlds of Fire and Darkness takes place when Aris is 18, Nysa is 16, and Kerrigan is 15

#throne of glass #tog #tog gen 2 #sarah j maas #manorian #manon x dorian #manon blackbeak #dorian havilliard

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longsightmyth · 4 years

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Aaaaaaaaaand here’s what I’ve got so far for the current readthrough of ToD for fragments etc. Sharp eyes will note that it has taken me over a year and I still haven’t finished the reread. It’s just very bad, okay? Cut for dash mercy.

June 21, 2018 – page 4

0.61% "Apparently the problem with Adarlan conquering everything was not the conquering, but the fact that they had an evil dictator in charge.

I mean, in fairness, the evil dictator probably didn't HELP, but in the kind of person who considers conquering a symptom of BEING an evil dictator, so?"

June 21, 2018 – page 15

2.27% ""That Sartaq was here... they had to have known, then. Well in advance. That she and Chaol were coming."

That reads like I hit the space bar on my iPhone a couple too many times but I swear to you that is exactly how it's written in the book. I have changed NOTHING."

June 21, 2018 – page 16

2.42% "I'm also still confused about why the captain of the royal guard was sent as an ambassador instead of staying to administer the royal guard."

June 27, 2018 – page 19

2.88% "There are so many fragments, y'all. So many."

June 27, 2018 – page 27

4.09% "For once the angst feels earned here (we know that Nesryn cares and works for the wellbeing of Rifthold and her family and we've seen it). Do I wish there were fewer Drama Fragments? Yes. Still, I'm glad we got this bit from Nesryn's PoV and for once it wasn't All About Celaena OR A Boy."

June 28, 2018 – page 30

4.55% ""My Tumelun. The words told enough about the prince's closeness with his sister."

First of all, OBVIOUSLY. Second, there really is a way to say this as if Chaol is thinking it and not as if you are explaining to the reader. For instance:

"My Tumelun. They had been close, then."

BOOM."

June 28, 2018 – page 30

4.55% "I've harped on this before, and while it's permissible for Kashin in his grief and/or naïveté to have blind spots ("no one within our lands would be stupid enough [to murder Tumelun]") Chaol has no such excuse and neither does the narrative."

June 28, 2018 – page 31

4.7% ""...Aelin had hard lines that she did not cross. Killing or harming children was one of them."

Let me refer you to that time in Heir of Fire where she threatened to burn an entire city's population alive and we were from her PoV so we know she meant it and she SAID IT WITH A SMILE."

June 28, 2018 – page 31

4.7% "Also that time she threatened to burn up the population of Rifthold."

June 28, 2018 – page 31

4.7% "Oh yeah also that manor house she said she'd kill the entire population of if even a tiny word got out about her presence or previous presence there. That place had kids too. I'm pretty sure we saw and/or heard them playing in the yard."

June 28, 2018 – page 31

4.7% "Just because she hasn't threatened or hurt a SPECIFIC CHILD for SPECIFIC REASONS does not mean that she doesn't harm or (in fairness threaten to) murder children. That's just three examples off the top of my head."

June 28, 2018 – page 33

5.0% ""Had not even considered that the shadow of Morath might have already stretched this far."

Chaol, per Queen of Shadows the Valg, whose stated intentions are to destroy the world and rule the ruins, have been out and plotting since BEFORE YOU WERE BORN. You're an idiot if you didn't consider them using over twenty years of time to, oh, WORK TOWARDS DESTROYING THE WHOLE WORLD AND RULING THE RUINS."

June 28, 2018 – page 33

5.0% "Then again the series never considered that before this point either so maybe I should cut Chaol some slack?"

June 28, 2018 – page 35

5.3% "This reads like a dude wrote it, and not a dude who thinks women are actual people."

July 9, 2018 – page 37

5.61% ""Until an unknown healer's daughter from Fenharrow [who had only been training for two years] was approached by healers old and young, who had trained their entire lives, for her advice and assistance."

Look."

July 9, 2018 – page 37

5.61% "If this was portrayed as 'they needed somebody with a hella lot of magic and guided her through things' that would be one thing, but are you telling me this chick is in her second year at the magical equivalent of medical school and all of the surgeons are coming to her for surgery advice?"

July 9, 2018 – page 37

5.61% "I think I commented on this last time but still:

"There were two such vials on the desk now, clear orbs atop silver feet fashioned after ibis legs. Being purified by the endless sunshine within the tower."

You'd think I made a mistake typing with my phone, right? Hit the space bar twice maybe and added an accidental period?

I did not. That's a direct quote from the book."

July 9, 2018 – page 44

6.67% "Are Renia and Hassar married or not, please make up your mind, book. Here Renia is referred to as Hassar's lover but I think later on it says wife without any marriage happening in between so like."

July 24, 2018 – page 53

8.03% ""Chaol had barely slept.

Partially due to the unrelenting heat, partially due to the fact that they were in a tentative ally's fraught household, full of potential spies and unknown dangers- perhaps even from Morath itself - and partially due to what had befallen Rifthold and all he held dear.

And partially due to the meeting that he was now minutes away from having.""

July 24, 2018 – page 53

8.03% "This is what happens when you rush books, don't listen to your editor, and use second drafts at best."

July 24, 2018 – page 53

8.03% ""Chaol barely slept that night. It could have been the unrelenting heat, it could have been the spies and unknown dangers of the house - or of Morath. It could have been the news of Rifthold, and the lack of news that followed. It could have been all of it.

Part of it was definitely the anxiety over the meeting that had yet to begin."

**jazz hands**"

July 24, 2018 – page 54

8.18% ""They'd asked him about the butchering of the slaves in Calaculla and Endovier at dinner.

Or the oily one, Arghun, did. Had the prince been among Chaol's new recruits to the royal guard, he would have easily gotten him to fall in line thanks to a few well-timed shows of skill and sheer dominance. But here, he had no authority to bring the conniving, haughty prince to heel.

Not even when Arghun wanted to know...""

July 24, 2018 – page 54

8.18% ""...why the former King of Adarlan had deemed it necessary to enslave his people. And then put them down like animals. Why the man had not looked to the southern continent for education on the horrors of the stain of slavery - and avoided instituting it.

Chaol had to offer curt answers on the verge of being impolite. Sartaq, the only one of them beyond Kashin whom Chaol was inclined to like, had finally tired..."

July 24, 2018 – page 54

8.18% ""...of his older brother's questioning and steered the conversation away."

Holy mackerel is there a lot to unpack there, but first of all: Arghun for president, y'all.

Second, king is improperly capitalized there. Have fun with that.

Third, why is Arghun the oily conniving one for being like 'yo why the hell did y'all keep slaves?'"

July 24, 2018 – page 54

8.18% "Fourth, it might be poor diplomacy on a technical level, but honestly Arghun and the SC contingent have all the power here. They don't have to worry about being polite, because what are Chaol and Nesryn going to do, leave? (they probably wish they would)"

July 24, 2018 – page 54

8.18% "Fifth, Chaol, suck it up. You participated in and helped to continue a regime that not only practiced slavery but encouraged it. I have no sympathy for your hurt feelings about being called on it. Aren't you supposed to be anti-slavery? Shouldn't you be going 'look man it sucked and was wrong. I know that. You know that. The new king has ended the practice even if he apparently hasn't considered reparations.'"

July 24, 2018 – page 54

8.18% "But no, Arghun is the one in the wrong here apparently?"

July 25, 2018 – page 57

8.64% "I'd forgotten Yrene's 'honey-colored' hands."

July 25, 2018 – page 66

10.0% "Still unsure why a medical professional won't just say the word penis."

July 25, 2018 – page 70

10.61% "Okay I got one mention of male healers existing. Apparently it's almost exclusively a female gift. Why? Who knows. Not the book.

Nothing mentioned about any cultural stuff surrounding it either."

July 25, 2018 – page 71

10.76% "I'm starting to wonder if the author just hasn't realized how self-aggrandizing things sound when written in third person limited or first person?"

August 26, 2018 – page 82

12.42%

August 27, 2018 – page 86

13.03% "Sure of course it's a weakness to care where the only other member of your diplomatic envoy is and if she's gone missing. Of course. It's obviously not just common sense or competence. Why are the 'politics' in these books such nonsense."

August 27, 2018 – page 87

13.18% "Other people have commented on this, but if everyone here is human why does the book keep calling everyone males and females."

August 27, 2018 – page 88

13.33% ""See how he trips over himself," Arghun muttered over Duva, her husband, and Chaol to say to Sartaq.

That makes it look like Arghun is a married woman talking over her husband, when I know that Arghun is an unmarried man. You have to specify in this case. Or you could, you know. Name your characters."

August 27, 2018 – page 89

13.48% ""Kashin shut his mouth, ever the trained soldier.

And somehow Chaol knew-that fast-that Kashin was not being considered for the throne."

First of all, SOMEHOW? You detail why in the next sentence."

August 27, 2018 – page 89

13.48% ""...he seemed decent, though. A better alternative than the sneering, aloof Arghun, or the wolflike Hasar."

Interesting how being wolflike is positive when it's men but negative when it's women.

Also, Arghun for president. He's the spymaster dude who talks to the viziers. Obviously my vote goes to Arghun."

August 27, 2018 – page 91

13.79% "I hate how Chaol lecturing Nesryn about coming in late morphs into him patronizing her about how they're fighting to make Adarlan safer for her specifically.

Listen, dickface. She's the one who apparently had ROCKS thrown at her in Adarlan. Let her enjoy walking around safely.

Also I hate that he's lecturing her about coming in late."

August 27, 2018 – page 97

14.7% "So. I appreciate that Yrene tries in this one instance to be considerate of Chaol's wants/needs, re: his disability. I appreciate MUCH LESS that it is here specifically in an attempt to contrast Yrene and Nesryn. I wouldn't even be super mad about that except that Yrene is only considerate of Chaol and his wants/needs, re: his disability when Nesryn is around to be contrasted against."

August 27, 2018 – page 97

14.7% "It only counts as a character trait if it's consistent, and it isn't. Instead it's used as a way to shame Nesryn, when Yrene does the same and worse to Chaol multiple times but is excused because 'she means well.'"

August 27, 2018 – page 99

15.0% "This is SO STUPID she is a healer DOING HER JOB why does it MATTER if she goes into his bedroom?"

August 27, 2018 – page 103

15.61% "This is a tiny thing in the grand scheme but "pure as sea-foam" made me laugh because I live in Florida and there is a lot of sea-foam. Almost none of it is 'pure'."

August 27, 2018 – page 109

16.52% "I don't care how many times it shows up. I am going to mark The Hand of the King/ The Hand of Adarlan with a red tab labeled ASoIaF EVERY TIME."

September 27, 2018 – page 113

17.12% ""You must enter where you fear to tread."

Uh-huh."

September 27, 2018 – page 115

17.42% "So while I like the idea of this scene with Yrene and the other healer, the fact remains that it has taken more than 100 pages to show us something that is ostensibly a fundamental part of Yrene's character, and from what I remember we have precious few other scenes of it later."

September 27, 2018 – page 115

17.42% "The trait? That Yrene has a drive to help people."

September 27, 2018 – page 117

17.73% ""How many meals had he himself been positioned by the doors, or out in the courtyard, monitoring his king? How many times had he laid into his men for slouching, for chattering amongst themselves, and reassigned them to lesser watches?""

September 27, 2018 – page 117

17.73% "Okay first of all, as THE (singular, only) captain of the royal guard your place is the organizing, hiring, and inspecting of the Royal guard, not the actual guarding except for special occasions, at which point you would be with the king as the visible face of the king's protection."

September 27, 2018 – page 117

17.73% "SECOND. You have never 'laid into' guards for chatting or slouching. You have in fact completely forgiven them for ABANDONING THEIR POSTS WITHOUT NOTICE because somebody else said it was fine. Your response? "Okay just don't do it again.""

September 27, 2018 – page 117

17.73% "I repeat, they abandoned their posts because a general from a conquered land told them it was fine, leaving their king completely open to attack, and you told them 'okay just don't do it again'"

September 27, 2018 – page 117

17.73% "Am I harping on this? ABSOLUTELY. Chaol's inner turmoil loses all emotional punch because he and the narrative are LYING to us. Instead of pulling my heartstrings, it just makes me angry.

This is also why Maas is the queen of the retcon, by the way."

September 27, 2018 – page 117

17.73% ""No sign - none - of any wicked force, whether dispatched from Morath or elsewhere. No sign beyond those white banners to honor their fallen princess."

I had no idea the wicked forces had a fallen princess, single separate two-sentence paragraph.

Also, it should be 'the white banners'"

September 27, 2018 – page 117

17.73% ""There was no sign of wickedness, from Morath or elsewhere - no sign but the white banners that honored the fallen princess."

It's not HARD, book."

November 30, 2018 – page 121

18.33% ""A summer storm galloped in off the sea just before midnight."

This one might be petty and I freely admit it, but that's kind of a funky way to put that."

February 11, 2019 – page 121

18.33% "I'm back!

I'd forgotten how awful the em dashes were. Like, I remembered they were BAD, I'd just forgotten HOW bad."

February 11, 2019 – page 123

18.64% "Picturing Kat's face in the section with Yrene and the 10,000+ year old document being touched with bare hands is what keeps me going y'all"

February 11, 2019 – page 127

19.24% "For someone ostensibly skeptical, Yrene sure does take every illustration in the book literally instead of even considering the possibility of metaphors or, like. Science."

February 11, 2019 – page 129

19.55% "The irony of Yrene being better at situational awareness and planning what around her could be improvised weaponry than Celaena, who ostensibly taught her these things, is not lost on me.

It's lost on the book though."

February 11, 2019 – page 132

20.0% "Why does everyone in these books have a capitalized Heir"

February 11, 2019 – page 132

20.0% "Also, the Heir Librarian as a title sounds stupid (no that's literally the title, not even Heir to the Librarian or anything)"

February 11, 2019 – page 132

20.0% "All it would take was a week observing the library to know it never closes and Bob's your uncle the 'closing toll' of the library bell jig is up.

I'm just saying."

May 4, 2019 – page 144

21.82%

July 22, 2019 – page 145

21.97% ""Either your lack on consciousness during that initial healing kept you from feeling this sort of pain, or perhaps whatever this is had not... settled."

Or Sarah Janet needed More Drama."

July 22, 2019 – page 146

22.12% "I forgot that apparently the valg magic and therefore Chaol's injury persists because it's feeding on his self hate or whatever.

See kids, all you have to do is be happy and believe in yourself and your disability will go away."

July 22, 2019 – page 146

22.12% ""It was all he could do not to shrink from that frank gaze."

Why not her frank gaze? Like, it's not grammatically incorrect - the sentence before says she's staring at him, it's referring to a gaze mentioned before - but I don't think it's strong writing."

July 22, 2019 – page 146

22.12% "Have Yrene own her frank gaze or have Chaol associate it with her directly instead of disconnecting it. "It was all he could do not to flinch from her frank gaze."

YMMV I guess."

July 22, 2019 – page 147

22.27% ""Yrene's face was an unreadable mask that would have given Dorian a run for his money."

Maybe it's my own failing, but Dorian has never been described as expressionless or unreadable in my memory, or at least not enough to stick out."

July 22, 2019 – page 148

22.42% ""Since [Nesryn's] hair fell only to her shoulders, he had difficulty braiding it back"

French braids are a thing, even if I'd object to them being called French braids in these books."

July 22, 2019 – page 150

22.73% ""A land claimed by a conquering nation, yet loved and nurtured."

Not you too, Nesryn."

July 22, 2019 – page 154

23.33% ""There is beauty in my father's lands," the prince went on while Kadara ripped into that monstrous carcass, "but there is much lurking beneath the surface, too."

Sigh.

"There is beauty in my father's lands," the prince went on while Kadara feasted on the monster, "but much lurks beneath the surface, too.""

July 23, 2019 – page 161

24.39% "Love how Yrene explicitly says "add lots of honey" but is then judgy because Kadja added too much honey."

July 25, 2019 – page 162

24.55% "There's this thing we have where we consider the endurance of pain a virtue, somehow. Even if you agree with that, bad people can still have virtues.

Yrene starts rethinking Chaol's morality because he 'did not break' over the pain when her magic was trying to heal him.

Tldr: pain endurance is not the sole province of good people, and enduring pain doesn't make you good"

July 25, 2019 – page 164

24.85% "Why ARE the valg only trying to kill Yrene if she has the same healing gift as other healers?"

July 25, 2019 – page 164

24.85% "Okay also my disability is not Chaol's disability etc etc but the narrative is poo-pooing on Nesryn and Kadja for helping him into bed when he's so tired he can barley talk, because Yrene would have made him do it himself.

Like, honestly? That makes Yrene sound an awful lot like somebody who would go 'you're out of spoons? Do it anyway'"

July 25, 2019 – page 166

25.15% "Look y'all much as I dislike Yrene on a personal level she isn't WRONG for clearly having 'personal reservations' about Chaol's 'former role in the empire'.

He not only benefitted from but actively worked to keep the aforementioned empire in power. He got FRUSTRATED when the king wouldn't let him guard the king effectively. He wasn't even just some dude off in the hinterlands: HE WAS THE CAPTAIN OF THE ROYAL GUARD."

November 4, 2019 – page 176

26.67% "In all seriousness what is Sarah Janet Maas' beef with the word 'the'?"

November 4, 2019 – page 176

26.67% "WHITE

FUCKING

HORSES"

November 4, 2019 – page 178

26.97% "How does Yrene have a good seat and yet bounce everywhere and keep grabbing the saddle horn"

November 4, 2019 – page 184

27.88% "Oh yeah. This part."

November 4, 2019 – page 184

27.88% ""The skin was leathery - as warm as her smile."

The one time you use 'the' it's in a place that detaches the reader from a living breathing human's human-ness? HER skin, book. HER skin."

November 4, 2019 – page 186

28.18% "The page (well, this and the one before) that made me hate Yrene."

November 17, 2019 – page 187

28.33% ""She means well, my Yrene."

That doesn't matter when she literally asked a disabled man to help her with something and when he got there PROCEEDED TO LECTURE AN ENTIRE YARD ON HIS DISABILITY WITHOUT HIS PERMISSION, WHEN HE LITERALLY PHYSICALLY COULD NOT LEAVE.

And to the best of my recollection she never apologizes."

November 17, 2019 – page 187

28.33% ""Her instinct is to teach other people" How lovely maybe she could do that without LITERALLY HOLDING A DISABLED MAN THERE AGAINST HIS WILL.

"But Myth, she didn't mean to! She just wasn't thinking"

LITERALLY MY POINT"

November 17, 2019 – page 187

28.33% ""But Myth, the author didn't mean to make it like that" Maybe if she'd bothered ASKING a single disabled person instead of watching some youtube videos she might have LEARNED."

November 17, 2019 – page 190

28.79% "And look. I applaud people learning how to defend themselves and teaching others. HOWEVER. Chaol has only taught soldiers, and aside from that the idea that one or two sessions allows you to master several self-defense techniques is unlikely at best. It takes time, it takes repetition, and it takes someone who had more than one morning's instruction herself.

Just saying."

January 4, 2020 – Shelved as: assassin-rolls-do-it-better

May 30, 2020 – page 191

28.94% "It’s hard to tell with this author what distance we are in the narration. Feyre and Yrene both make snide little comments about people not caring or not doing something (in Yrene’s case, Chaol not smiling at her after her despicable behavior, in Feyre’s case Nesta not getting her a gift). I begin to suspect we aren’t supposed to see this as the character commenting on the event but the narration."

May 30, 2020 – page 191

28.94% "UNFORTUNATELY the books are written in close POV’s, Feyre’s in first and Yrene’s and Chaol’s in third. The result is that whatever the narration says is coming from the character.

This is a long way to say that Yrene continues to be terrible."

May 30, 2020 – page 193

29.24% "I don’t have enough orange tabs for this"

May 30, 2020 – page 194

29.39% "Yrene says here “[until that moment] she hadn’t felt like a barnyard animal” and I am not an expert but that seems like a Bad Thing to have about one of the only black women you haven’t killed off, Book."

May 30, 2020 – page 195

29.55% "“Did I do something to you today?”

*squints*"

May 30, 2020 – page 196

29.7% "I’m not going to pretend that Nesryn’s reaction here is perfect, but the book is trying to pretend it’s terrible and it’s not? She’s excited that Chaol can ride, she talks to Chaol directly about it, and immediately accepts that he can and says excitedly that maybe they can go see her family together. The initial disbelief might be disconcerting for some people, but she does several things Yrene does not."

May 30, 2020 – page 196

29.7% "As I said, she speaks directly to Chaol about his abilities (something Yrene doesn’t do), asks if he wants to do something together (permission is something for OTHER PEOPLE to Yrene, apparently, at least in regards to revealing someone’s medical information and literally moving people without their permission) and is immediately EXCITED that he can do something Chaol has specifically said he missed."

May 30, 2020 – page 196

29.7% "For the record these are all low bars to clear, but for all the book tries to contrast Yrene and Nesryn’s reactions to Chaol’s disability and how he works with and around it in Yrene’s favor, NESRYN IS THE ONLY ONE WHO CLEARS THE BARS.

But I’m supposed to be upset that she’s surprised that Chaol rode when he hasn’t been able to lately? Through a city that he’s never been to before? Without telling her?"

May 30, 2020 – page 196

29.7% "Not only are these two the only members of an embassy, they are romantically involved. OF COURSE SHE’S SURPRISED ALL OF THIS HAPPENED WITHOUT HER KNOWING ABOUT IT."

May 30, 2020 – page 198

30.0% "At least she apologizes FINALLY but also says that it’s because so few people come in with his injury that she wanted to show her students.

So then you ASK, Yrene, what is this bullshit?"

May 30, 2020 – page 199

30.15% "“She hadn’t considered - his feelings. That he might have them.”

Excuse me, what?"

May 30, 2020 – page 199

30.15% "Yrene is worried that if she leaves the ‘rift’ between her and Chaol will never be repaired because “Healers and their patients required trust. A bond.”

It’s too bad you have repeatedly fucked that up with unprofessional, unthinking, and downright cruel behavior then isn’t it, Yrene?"

May 30, 2020 – page 199

30.15% "I’m sure some people reading this statuses will think I’m being too harsh, but let me explain: Yrene is a healer who has dealt with this kind of injury before. That’s why she was textually assigned to Chaol. Yrene is not a family member who knows nothing of medicine or patient treatment and is feeling her way through learning how to respectfully assist someone with a disability."

May 30, 2020 – page 199

30.15% "Yrene is a PROFESSIONAL, she keeps telling us. She is The Best. She has dealt with this before.

There is literally no excuse for accidentally doing this. Had Yrene been a new healer tossed into this because she just happens to have magical power enough for it and was still a student, I would buy that she maybe hadn’t had the experience to think about it. If she was portrayed as a consummate professional who..."

May 30, 2020 – page 199

30.15% "...did not care about her patients’ feelings so long as she healed their bodies, I would buy it.

She isn’t. The book keeps trying to tell me she is The Best because of temperament and skill and power, but it fails to realize that doing so puts Yrene in a terrible light because all of those things mean she should KNOW BETTER."

#myth rags on throne of glass #myth reads tower of dawn

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bitchryver · 6 years

Note

controversial opinion you should give us your bi aelin headcanons

sorry this took so long to answer I’ve been on a hunt for receipts x

aelin ashryver is bisexual: a summary

-I’m indebted forever to @blackbeaktrash for pointing this out to me but uhhh remember that post about how Mulan Korra and the short one from the time traveling lesbian game all had one thing in common- the bisexual hair cut ? hello aelins fresh chop in HoF

- the assassin and the desert. every single line. is a wlw tragedy romance ripped straight from a mythology.

- let’s get some direct quotes from the gay awakening that was the assassin and the desert:

“Celaena tried not to look too interested, though the girl was one of the most stunning people she’d ever beheld.”

“And somehow, the thought of returning to Rifthold without Ansel was a tad unbearable.”

“Celaena couldn’t stop her lips from trembling as she asked, “Was it ever real?”

“Ansel opened one eye, staring at the far wall. “There were some moments when it was. The moment I sent you away, it was real.”

“ And I think she sent you away because she truly cared for you.

She hated her mouth for wobbling. “That doesn’t make it hurt any less.”

-like Sam is nice rip but I refuse to believe he was aelins first love interest when ansel exists

- i understand where people are coming from when they talk about malide being canon if manon was a man but….i present example a- ansel and celaena the original gay love story to never happen and yet be laced with romantic chemistry

-anyway read the gayssassin and the desert

-aelin describing every woman she meets as beautiful and ethereal and then men are like…’he was tall. he had sword’

- yrene in tab: ‘wow I’d love to travel and be a healer so I could help people’

-aelin, emptying her pockets: you’re so pretty I love you here’s a sack full of cash is that enough? You’re so talented ily

-she loves swords & swords belong to the gays

-aelin calling cha0l ugly the first time she meets him…compared with yrene, a straight woman who’s immediately attracted to him…..Noah fence but….that was her gaydar trying to warn her :/

-aelins the only one who calls out these dumb ass white frat boys on their privilege and their upper class straight man bullshit!!shes having none of it !!!

-doriman in tog: “hey aelin? would you ever consider putting your life at risk and jeopardizing your safety to be with me?”

-aelin, right before she goes to have breakfast in bed with her beloved idol nehemia:

-while we’re on the subject, aelin taking literal WEEKS to notice if a mans attractive or not but describing every woman she meets as good looking within SECONDS even if she hates them

-Like LOOK

-I mean I cannot relate to the straight experience but I cannot imagine this is how a straight woman talks about women

-SHE DOESNT EVEN LIKE LYSANDRA AND SHES ALL IN THERE TALKING ABOUT HER ‘SENSOUS MOUTH’ IN QOS i mean

-aelin: the woman was built like a mythical goddess…she radiated beauty and sensuality from every pore

-aelin : this is rowan he’s my husband and he’s built like a TANK

-It took aelin six months to realize he was hot compared to literally everybody else who wanted to jump him mere seconds after meeting him(with the exception of manon, a proud lesbian but anyway)

-girl cannot sit in a fucking chair properly!! always throwing herself sideways or dangling off of it or slouching in it or something

-spitting jewels out of her mouth? Performing foreplay in a room full of powerful men and borian? gay

-i don’t know about you gals but I always get a ring engraved to give to my personal (straight)friends when I ask them to spend the rest of their life with me…

-when Rowan’s like ‘aw man can’t wait to get back and go to bed with my wife’ and the next line is like ‘aelin and lysandra were lying together, asleep’

-aelin saw the absolute straight man manic pixie nonsense quail and dorito were throwing at her and was like ‘bummer uhhh fuck both of you?’ instead of wasting her life and energy on men who didn’t appreciate her that’s all bi energy babes!

-aelin and manon having a metaphorical dick measuring contest but with swords

-aelin polishing nesryns dagger and dreaming of buying her a new one

-aelin telling kale that nesryn can speak for herself !!! Shut up!!!

- nesryn: mind your own business brullo lmao #nosy as fuck

-aelin, who had a dagger at this woman’s back not even 12 hours earlier:

-Aedion: haha…so aelin only invited nesryn out to have drinks with us because she needed an extra pair of hands because I was injured….what a smart strategic move

-aelin: nesryn you look lonely do you want to come with us ? Tell me about yourself. What’s your family like? How do you get your hair so smooth? Do you want my social security number?

-aelin loved nehemia so much she dumped stale whitebread and got written off as a terrible character by the Discourse Police: Cha0l Division. that’s love.

-attempting to murder the man ur fuckin after he’s involved in the murder of your beloved gay friend? hm. not a straight aura but #prove #me #wrong

-aelin keeps all her nails long except her sword hands so she can keep the aesthetic and weapon functionality but also keep a gay functionality

- in tower of dawn whomst does aelin write to? out of every one of the royal family ? lesbian icon and love of my life Hasar. aelin sensed incredible chaotic gay wlw energy from ACROSS the sea and knew immediately where the real power was. gaydar in action

- aelin has impeccable taste in fashion and upholstery, unrivaled by any other person in tog

-listen I live with 2 straight people and I promise you. The only one who cares enough about proper home decor, mood lighting and pretty things that were very expensive- is the gay one: me

-all the men hate her all the women love her lmao that says it all

- chaotic disaster gay aelin ashryver. Hurricane wlw nightmare woman tearing through these streets

-made a post about it here already but aelins like ‘fuck I can’t like manon but her fucking sword is so cool jesus christ’ that’s gay

- when aelin finds out manon graciously allowed snorian to have sex with her: I do NOT approve but go ahead ruin ya life lol

-when aelin finds out manon left elide alone in oakweld: what the FUCK did you do to that precious beautiful angel were it not for the laws of this land-

-MANON ‘LESBIAN’ BLACKBEAK herself says aelin radiates a gay aura she’s disappointed when she meets her in eos because all the batshit chaotic neutral gay has been depleted from her due to over exposure to straight men

-manons entire arc re: aelin in eos was ‘i should rip her throat out but i get where this stupid gay is coming from so’

-aelin giving a woman she’s just met the necklace her abuser gave her on her 16th? power move. gay power move.

- i love her so much but she’s. so goddamn stupid. and that’s such a mood

- Getting My Whole Ass Out To Prove Were Platonic Friends …that’s a level of denial I can’t even cover

-don’t know if I said it earlier but when aelin asks Lys to join her and lys says oh are you proposing, aelin..doesn’t say no lmao she’s just like ‘tragically I find myself with a life partner’

-lysandra sleeping on aelins lap while aelin downs 2 bottles of wine and flirts with ansel, while all the men look on annoyed that aelin did all of their jobs for them- gay imagery

- listen if ansel ‘murdered my boyfriend of 5yrs saving the girl I knew for a month’ briarcliff approves of you then…you’re gay. you just are.

-aelin ’ill murder you if so much as make EYE CONTACT with any of my women’ ashryver

- I said it already but. There is no better way to indicate that you are living life as our lady sappho intended than having a plethora of boring straight men hate you.

-That’s one of the things you need to have before they let you be gay

-aelins the only character who’s like- you know what I’m missing from my life? Women. I should go out and meet more of those

-killing the man who murdered your beloved friend in the exact same way he tortured her killing the man who set it up and basking in his blood am I right ladies

-aelin acknowledging she’s pretty because she works at it ? Maybe the only ya fantasy character who cannonically exfoliates, moisturizes, and uses toner and serum??? And you except me to sit here and assume she’s straight ???? In this economy ?????

-and yeah I’m absolutely 100% projecting because i love her. maybe blonde emotional chaotic bisexual fashion icons should look after each other now and then.

what do I know i clearly missed the gay memo where we all hate her now or something lmaooo anyway

#answered #if kingdom of ash doesnt put hasar aelin and manon in a room and have them lovingly beat the shit out of each other #then we're throwing the whole throne of glass away #rowaelin and anselaena are both good btw but celaena absoutely should have got with ansel

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