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#oh-my-hashirama
opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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Once I was scrolling thru naruto fics and saw the tag "buisnessman!Kakashi" and all I could think about was Kakashi being a child businessman, owning all the konoha adults at doing business while wearing an oversized suit and tie. That idea is so fucking funny to me.
#obito: that kakashi! hes always showing me up by getting better deals than me >:-(#also just the idea of lil child Kakashi showing up at a business meeting and sealing the deal with an outline written in adorablly childish#handwriting. written in crayon lol#call this the naruto businessman au#every ninja is a business person and it exactly parallels canon. that is my dream#sealed inside naruto is the partial spirit of the ultimate buisnessman but its too powerful and everyones afraid#fucking hashirama's face on the wall as the company founder lmao rip madara: fuck this company ur brother embarrassed my brother so bad#at deal making that he died. im gonna tear it all down. face me hashirama! deal for deal. ill become the ultimate businessman ill control#the world and put an end to all this business!#oh got its so weird like the founders waterpark au that i also keep deep in my heart#anyway this is weird wtf am i doing. procrastinating and its like almost 11 i should keep writing or go to sleep lol#but wait: 10 years ago the spirit of a ferral businessman was unleashed upon this building. there was no stopping him. his charisma was#unmatched. his expense reports! his terrible otherworldly expense reports! he was too efficient! he fired half the staff! the spirit of#that buisnessman is sealed inside of u naruto. thats why theyre so afraid of u. and then cut to naruto in an oversized buisness suit#looking shocked. aw iruka as a daycare working. cute#anyway this is fucking dystopian lol#unrelated#naruto ramblings
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senjusibs · 6 months
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hauntedhokage · 1 year
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hi hi! Could I please request hcs for your first time with the Konoha founders (Madara,Hashirama, tobirama?) tyia!!
hi, you certainly can! I totally got carried away with these but i had a lot of fun ~
warnings: written with female reader in mind, sexual content, mentions of potential pregnancy, cock warming,
Madara Uchiha
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Madara isn't one for letting people get close, so to be at the point with him where not only you were regularly kissing and close enough that he's asking to go further says a lot.
He basically loves you at this point, even if he hasn't said as much out loud and the question of whether you'll let him go further requires no deeper consideration to have you nodding in the affirmative in the moonlit forest clearing
He's careful as he undresses you, gentle hands pulling at the various ties and buttons keeping your clothing together, his eyes staying on yours to ensure that you remain comfortable under his hands as he moves. It's only when you're undressed that he notices that he's still fully clothed, and sits back to give you the opportunity to see him as he'd gotten to see you.
He's very bashful as you undress him, which is truly out of character for the normally (mostly) collected man - unless he was with you. Madara was still strong and confident, but something in the way you specifically looked at him made him feel that way. It's the love but don't tell him that or else he'll blush
His hands are gentle as they explore your body without the layer of clothing keeping you from him, warm as they hold your breasts while he kisses you.
"Every bit of you is perfection, my dear," he'll compliment as he lies you back, kissing you one last time before he moves to explore the rest of your body with his mouth, gradually getting more comfortable with how you like to be touched.
He's nervous at first, but he is very generous when it comes to oral. He could probably be between your legs like this for hours, since he thoroughly enjoys how sweet you taste to him and the sounds you make for him and him alone while he's licking at your most sensitive spot.
The nerves return when he's sitting up in front of you again, cock in hand and lined up with your entrance. All he has to do is gently push forward, you've already begged asked him to take you finally, but he finds himself pausing as his tip is just barely pressing against your folds. But then he reaches for your hand, and holds it tight in his own as he finally urges forward to work himself into you.
He's painfully careful as he makes love to you, desperate to maintain his self control so he can avoid causing you any pain. Each thrust is calculated and careful, and his eyes stay on yours to make sure that he's actually making you feel good.
When he comes it's inside you mostly by accident, you'd made him feel so good that he wasn't thinking about arguably the most important detail. He hopes you're not upset, but he wouldn't be upset by having his heir conceived in such a setting. If you're not upset, he's able to relax in the grass beside you and pull you close, peppering kisses to your head as the cool night air blows over you both.
Eventually you'd both need to get up and get dressed before someone found you so exposed, but for now he's content to lay there and mumble sweet nothings back and forth.
Hashirama Senju
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Oh, Hashirama is a nervous wreck over this. This was a moment he'd been waiting a while for and now it was here and you were sitting naked in front of him as planned and it was almost too much.
He's so worried about whether or not you actually want to have sex with him, if you'll like how he looks? Is his penis the right size? What even was the "right size"? These weren't things he talked about with Madara or his brother, so he feels under prepared for something so important.
Please kiss this man to pull him out of his head, otherwise you'd be sitting there naked all night while he overthinks.
His hands are shaky as he undresses, so giving him a helping hand will help him feel a lot better (and keep him from accidentally tearing something and feeling the need to explain how to the tailor when getting it repaired). Kisses to his chest and stomach as more skin is revealed, keeping your eyes on his as you do to help reassure him that you want to be here as much as he does.
"Relax, Hashirama," you request, taking his hands in his and gently peppering kisses along his knuckles to try and help him relax. "We don't have to if you don't think-" "I WANT TO TAKE THIS STEP WITH YOU!"
He's already hard, cock aching at the sight of your body and feel of your warm skin on his hands. When you bring one of his hands down to your already wet center, he's suddenly much more relaxed as he realizes that you want this too.
His fingers are eager to explore, spreading and stretching you open like he knows he'll need to while indulging in the sweet sounds you make as he pleasures you. He's not intending on making you come, so he's actually surprised when you do just by his fingers.
And when he gets to lay you back, his hand holds yours as he guides himself in. He could come from the sight of your face, contorted in pleasure as he stretched you, but he knows that he couldn't possibly cut this experience short for you.
But as enamored as he is by your face, he can't help but sit back so he can watch himself go in and out of you. There's something hypnotizing about watching his cock disappear inside you, he could sit there and watch forever.
But all things come to end eventually, and when he meets his end it's with his face pressed into your neck, profusely thanking you for providing him with the honor of this intimacy and telling you how much he loved you.
Tobirama Senju
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The only one out of this trio that isn't at all nervous. Not at all understating the importance of the first time he's being intimate with you in that way, but it's a natural human occurrence and if you didn't want to take that step with him you wouldn't have let him move his hands further up your skirt. Nor would you have said "yes" when he asked if that was okay.
His kisses are confident as you sit on his lap, one of his hands resting on your thigh under your skirt while the other holds the back of your neck. Every so often he'll give your thigh a squeeze, moving his hand just a bit closer until his fingertips are brushing against the fabric of your underwear.
"Eager, are we?" you tease against his lips, gently nipping at his bottom lip and grinning when he lets out a soft groan. "I'm eager, too."
"You look so pretty on my lap like this, how can I not be?" his counter is accompanied by his fingers hooking into the band of your underwear, gently tugging at them so he could pull them down your legs. He doesn't let them hit the floor, instead pocketing them to keep them clean.
He takes a moment to wet his fingers before his hand goes back up your skirt, pushing your legs apart so he can spread your folds. The contact has your mouth falling open, your head falling against his shoulder as he spreads your wetness that had gathered to your clit.
You hold tight to his shirt as he fingers you; the long, slender digits taking their time in exploring your pussy, his thumb maintaining a constant pressure on your clit. It's when he feels your walls start to tighten around his fingers that he starts to rub small circles around your clit while maintaining that same wonderful pressure.
"Please come for me, my dear, I need you to be ready for me," he requests, his own mouth trailing kisses along your face and neck. Based on your pleasured whimpers and tight grip on his shoulder, he knows you're about to topple over that edge, and he's smiling as he feels your clenching around his three fingers. "That's it, you're so pretty when you're coming on my fingers."
Your skirt and his pants were going to be a mess, but that's not a concern for either of you as he's pulling his cock out of his pants. He's already so hard, and you gently take hold of him as he helps you adjust so you're straddling him on his chair and hovering just above his length.
There's a moment of hesitation, those red eyes meeting yours with a question in them that only you have the answer to. And your answer is given by carefully lowering yourself onto him, keeping your gaze locked on his until you're fully seated on his length.
With his hands on your hips and your hands settled on his shoulders, you both work together to set an easy pace. His goal is to make sure you feel and enjoy every inch of him as he helps you move, and he can tell by the way your walls are fluttering around him that you are very much enjoying what he's giving you.
He's a relatively quiet lover, the sounds that leave him are mostly quiet grunts and maybe a soft groan but nothing too loud. However, he wants you to be as loud as you want to be - let the whole village know that you were quite happily spoken for and well looked after.
His hand will leave your hip in favor of seeking out your clit, wanting to make sure that you find your release before he does. His fingers work against the sensitive bud rapidly, all while urging you to show him how pretty you are when you're coming for him.
And when you do come, your walls clenching rhythmically around his length, he's kissing you to muffle his groan as his hands keep you firmly planted on his lap as he finishes inside you.
He'll lean back in the chair, bringing you to relax in his arms as he works to regulate his breathing once more. Gentle kisses are peppered into your hair and his hands rub your back as he lets himself enjoy this moment with you.
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randomreblogsone · 2 years
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Another beautiful meme drawn by my best friend, please go follow her twitter
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evilkitten3 · 6 months
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it would have been really funny if if madara was a woman. not for like ship reasons or feminism or whatnot; just bc it would be thematically appropriate for obito's reveal if it turned out he was late coming back from the dead bc he was helping out granny (with world domination)
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justsomeoneunordinary · 4 months
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Concept that I may or may not write someday in the far future:
What if the Senju and the Uzumaki weren’t allies like how Hashirama claimed they were? Sure, he said they were sister clans but therein lies the problem: he said that. We have yet to hear the side of an Uzumaki from the Warring States Period on that matter.
So what if the Senju and the Uzumaki used to be warring clans some generations before Hashirama’s—until the Senju conquered the Uzumaki. And the Uzumaki then had to either submit to the Senju’s demands or accept total erasure of their clan, which obviously wasn’t an option.
Generations later, the Senju only learn about the Uzumaki as their allies and the whole conquering them part is simply left out of their history.
Meanwhile, the Uzumaki grow up with nothing but disdain for their oppressors and actively work against the Senju in secret with the Uchiha intending to defeat the Senju once and for all.
And then the unthinkable happens: the Senju and the Uchiha make peace. This, of course, poses a problem for the Uzumaki, because if the Uchiha tell the Senju about the Uzumaki’s betrayal, they’re done for. They’re a small clan—they can’t fight off both, the Senju and the Uchiha.
So in a desperate attempt to gain the upper hand and save their clan, they send a spy assassin to kill Hashirama and find a way to weaken both clans—or at least the peace between them—under the guise of strengthening their alliance with the Senju and expanding it for an alliance with all of Konoha.
And who else could figure out how the kill the God of Shinobi if not Uzumaki “I’m gonna seal a whole-ass Bijuu inside myself” Mito? She is, after all, very discreet and quite possibly the craftiest Uzumaki of them all.
There’s only one slightly teensy-weensy problem: Hashirama is quite the charmer.
And Mito finds herself very, very smitten with him.
(Needless to say, she fails her mission, despite indeed finding a way how to kill him).
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mokutone · 1 year
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YOUR HASHIRAMA TAG??? HURTING ME.
YOUR HASHIRAMA TAG??? HURTING ME.
YOUR HASHIRAMA TAG??? HURTING ME.
YOUR HASHIRAMA TAG??? HURTING ME.
YOUR HASHIRAMA TAG??? HURTING ME.
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SsDJGHSKDJGHSDK this ask format looks so funny. i think it broke?
i have no idea what happened to it.
i have a lot of character tags i should probably change honestly i am just, despite all appearances from my drawings, not particularly creative
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kishimotomasashi · 2 years
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I love him he is so abnormal
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messier-47 · 2 years
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I got an idea but i'm gonna make it quick cause currently brewing a potion of Fuck You for me to drink come tomorrow morning to start pushing out new chapter of FUBAR's next arc
Madatobi, slowburn, Modern!AU, Highschool!AU, i'm about to fuck your shit up if you are, were, or becoming an angry teenager
Story is all told in Mada's POV (maybe with little breaks of Tobirama) and he in his family live in the perfect picket fence household and Mada is a straight-A student, over stressed student body president, really gives off the dad-friend vibe cause he's also a nerd but don't think he's weak for thinking that hanging out with the Naruto-weeb kids during lunch is cool cause he's not afraid to throw hands. On the other hand Hashi, his best friend, his captain of the football team and all about school pride and their childhood friendship is a match made in heaven They promised to be each other's best man at the weddings, probably get stuck in the same nursing home together, that type of childhood best friend.
Except Mada knows that Hashi's homelife isn't that good.
He knows nothing explicit cause his friends keeps him fairly distracted and over the years Mada stopped questioning why he's never invited over at the Senju's house and other subtle signs that shit ain't right.
Another thing to ignore is Tobirama.
Hashirama's younger brother by only a year, a junior in highschool to Mada's senior. The pale senju is one of those feral punk teens that have safetypins pierced up and down his ears, EYELINER, blackpainted fingernails and an attitude like a cactus on fire and emitting poisonous fumes. Really caustic personality, gets in trouble ALOT by the school and Hashi has let it slip once or twice that he's not afraid to act mean at home either. Kinda a depressing kid really, like a shadow no one wants to acknowledge.
Until Madara gets into a situation.
idk for what, all i know is that he needs outside 'illegal' help in order to get out and who is the most 'criminal' person within his reach? Tobirama. So he goes to Tobirama asking for help and after hearing the story Tobirama helps.
The thing is though Madara thought the whole interaction was going to be worse than it was...but...it turns out Tobirama is funny? Really dry, sarcastic, morbid humor and it catches Mada completely off guard and turns out afterwards he realizes...he actually kinda enjoyed hanging out with the emo kid.
So let's have an arc of the usual Highschool!AU tropes where the straight-A student is trying to help the emo kid. the usual "I can fix him!" attitude mixed with the "he's not really that bad" and the "I didn't know you were THIS smart."
Except everytime it's brought up Hashi makes a face like he sucked a sour lemon. tries to kindly warn off Mada like his own brother is a ticking time bomb.
Why?
Stop the musical number, change the lighting and filters and let's take a look at the Senju homelife.
Dad's a cop.
A mom ain't afraid to lash out.
Oh, they'd never hurt their kids or each other cause they're a 'perfect' family (despite having their embarressing second son) but that doesn't mean Daddy don't drink till he passes out and screams at Mom about anything and everything. And Mommy is so nice and smiley until she's hurt and then she lashes out with her tongue in anger, fear, and pain before crying her eyes out like she's the victim.
Tobirama. fucking. hates. being at home.
But he's got two little brothers, Kawa and Ita in Middle and Elementary school, that only has him going up to bat when Daddy turns to yell at his kids so Tobirama stands in the line of fire and shouts back. And when Mommy tries to play both the victim and aggressor card Tobirama still stands and doesn't let her focus on his brothers.
In this; Tobirama is turning out just like their dad. And that's why Hashi can't help but fear and resent his younger brother. But at the same time Hashi is just like their mom, willing to smile and gloss over the abuse, lashing out when something doesn't go their way, and playing the victim card to get out of trouble.
And Madara is stepping a little too close to the landmine for comfort.
It's gonna blow up on him.
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opens-up-4-nobody · 9 months
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:-P
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wriochilde · 1 year
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ugh he had such a sick design. what a shame
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tea-stained · 1 year
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Hashirama is literally Demeter, but in Naruto.
He *is* the mom friend mother nature.
He *is* the legislator.
He *is* the guy who will protest against tree violence, not because of deforestation, but because it's hurting them.
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maito-gays · 1 year
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i dont know exactly how to explain my sns cannibalism hc without making an essay but basically its this picture as naruto if that makes sense
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👀👀👀👀👀 do you think sasuke ever thinks about it too? Like does he get The Hunger too or nah bc I think he would,,,,
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pussymagnetmadara · 1 year
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PLEASE PEOPLE TELL ME IF IM WRONG HERE BUT MADARA'S AND HASHIRAMA'S STORY MAKES ME THINK ABOUT DISNEY'S POCAHONTAS OMG I THINK IVE GOT SOMETHING
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bugprinz · 1 year
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need the world to know i “finished” shippuden last night
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internal-ethics · 10 days
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m8datobi stans complaining about m8datobi fics making tbrm ooc and wanting in-character tbrm in their shipfics is the funniest shit ever
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