Tumgik
#ok enough about this insane i need to start smoking weed
baez · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
John in THE BEATLES: Get Back (Day 20).
586 notes · View notes
miioouu · 3 years
Text
Birthday Girl...
So what if I want a suna x reader x terushima for my birthday? I’m gonna write it myself and no one can stop me ok? Ok! Also, I know some people don’t like the whole stoner idea, but…I’m not one of these people so… anyway! Happy (late) birthday to me!
Warning: smut, threesome, anal, mention of alcohol and weed…
When your friends said they were throwing you a party for your birthday, you thought of a small one, just between your closest peers. But obviously, it’s not the case. The house filled to the brim with people, you’re barely able to breathe, faces you’ve never seen before, you can only assume they’re here for the free alcohol and drugs, and you can’t blame them. Music that was definitely not your preferred genre blasting through the speakers, but right now, with all the booze flowing through your blood, drowning you out, you couldn’t care. It’s not always you get to be the center of attention, and honestly you always avoided it, but it’s a special occasion and how mean of you would it be if you didn’t enjoy your friends’ effort and kindness to the fullest?
That’s what you’re telling yourself, when halfway through the night you found yourself grinding against a much taller man; one of your hand in his fake blond hair, the other holding a red solo cup. His, were on your waist, pulling you oh so close you could feel everything. His breath smelled like a mix of alcohol and smoke, his hands large and hot caressing your skin leaving you burning, his eyes, golden brown had you drowning in their artificial sweetness, but all of that didn’t compare to the way his knee was between your legs. Your clothed cunt pressed on his muscular thigh, the rough fabric of his jeans rubbing on your clit had shivers running through your body. You were so close to losing your mind, so close to falling into insanity, if it weren’t for a foreign voice breaking the two bodies apart. “Hey Terushima, having fun with the birthday girl?” He sounded teasing, his words slurring together; you had to concentrate hard enough to understand. The man glued to your side, Terushima you learned, rolled his eyes, mischievous glint in them, taking the joint from the dark-haired boy’s grip, taking a hit and blowing it to your face, laughing as you glared at, but other than that he ignored you, too interested in answering the other male. “Mhm, man, Suna… you should join! What do you think special girl?” Locking eyes with him, red and hazy, though you can tell he’s checking you. Tongue wetting his lips, taking a step closer to you and breath hitting your face making you rub yourself on the leg still between yours. His voice low and smooth as he growled in your ear “I think that will be a fun present, don’t you think?” Without second thought, you nodded your head, it’s all they needed to go for it.
Walking over each other, hands roaming on each other’s bodies, how you made it to a room without tripping was beyond you. Though that didn’t matter right now. The teeth sinking into the tender skin of your neck, cold metal swiping over it contrasting perfectly against the heat radiating from your body. Nimble hands on your sides, brushes of the tips making you shiver in need as he took off your shirt. So lost between the two of them you couldn’t help but moan, quiet yet passionate eliciting something in them that you were just about to discover. Suna detached himself from you, taking off the rest of your clothes, both whistling as they saw the string of arousal stretching from your heat to your panties as they were sliding down your legs. He then threw Yuuji a look that you couldn’t quite decipher, all you knew is that it got your knees weak in lust. Pushing you back till you were sitting on the edge of the mattress, giving you a kiss and blowing smoke filling your lungs, before backing away slightly, moving his hips to the feint rhythm of the music as he started taking off his own clothes. Giggling a bit, though you followed his every move, drooling as he exposed his abs to your eyes, filling you with the need to glide your fingers against him, but before you get up, Terushima pinned you to place, before joining Suna in his lap dance. Humming along, showing you his pearly whites in a smile as he shimmied down his skin tight jeans, tripping a few times, laughing with you whenever he did so and sending Rintaro a sly smirk when he facepalmed at him. The way their bodies moved and twisted, so gracefully to the beat and slowly making their way to you, had you unconsciously rubbing your thighs together, pussy drooling at just the sight of them. Standing tall and proud, just waiting to be buried inside your holes and the idea of it has you moaning in impatience. Rin was the one to lift you up, sitting down only to drop you in his lap. Your back pressed tightly against his chest, feeling ever ragged breath he took, hearing each and every little groan that let his lips. His hands parting your legs, holding the steady as he watched Terushima kneel before him, his piercing shining under the low light at his tongue poked out, licking a strip between your folds, making sure to pay extra attention to your bundle of nerves. His eyes on your face, watching, observing each of your expressions, the furrow of your brows, your teeth digging into your lower lip, trying to keep the moans at bay but failing miserably as they got louder and louder whenever he sucked on that special pearl. Your body squirming and jumping, grinding and pushing back against Suna’s dick, driving you closer to the edge whenever you felt it twitch. His mouth leaving hues of blues and red on you neck and collar bones, his free hand twisting your nipples, pinching and pulling at them. It was the combination of Terushima’s skillful tongue and Rin’s praises that pushed you over the edge, off of the cliff and drowning in pleasure. Reaching your high, your juices dripping from Yuuji’s face, pooling on Suna’s thighs, and as mind crashing as your orgasm was, you wanted more.
It’s like they could tell. From the grin on their faces, the glint in their eyes, their whole aura had your heart beating faster and heat rushing to your core, again. Pulling you up, the blond’s fingers sending shivers down your spine as they brushed against your skin, placing below your ass to lift you up. So gentle, so uncharacteristically from him, it got your heart squeezing in a foreign feeling. His lips on your neck, peppering kisses and bites. His cock twitching against you, making you moan and whine for more pleasure, and you almost forgot that you weren’t alone when you heard the other man chuckle. Before you could even look at him, the sound of spitting resonated through the room, his dick glistening as he pumped it, spreading his pre all over it before he got up and made his way over. “Such a pretty girl… Tell us, you want to have both of your holes stuffed? Wanna have them both dripping our cum. That would be an amazing sight, what do you think Yuuji?” You couldn’t help but whine, begging them to give you more. His words alone had you clenching around nothing, grinding down and trying to shove the pierced cock inside you, but he squeezed you tighter, preventing you from moving. “Don’t worry baby, you’ll get what you want eventually, just be patient!” With that being said, you felt a finger pushing against the tight walls of your asshole. Slowly making its way deeper into you making you throw your head back and let out a cry in both pain and pleasure, and even more when the high boy inserted another one, scissoring them inside you to stretch you open. The ache slowly became extasy, you soon began to beg for more and more, your walls fluttering around nothing, and the tears gathering in the corners of your eyes was all it took for Terushima to lower you on his dick. Sinking so deeply inside you, he couldn’t care when you told him to slow down, too eager to be balls deep in you. Your nails digging in his shoulders, creating blood crescent you bet he’ll be flaunting around the next day. The fingers in your back hole coming to a stop and withdrawing, Rintaro couldn’t help the deep breath he took, the shiver flowing all through his body while seeing your empty hole clenching. His hands on your hips, holding you still for a moment while he started pushing his length in. inch by inch, the pain was becoming too much, your tears rolling down your cheeks, an agglomeration of both their names leaving your lips in a discomfort whine. They both slowed for a bit, giving you time to adjust; the shorter of the two dipping down and pressing his lips to yours, cold metal swiping across your lower lip, granting him access and letting him discover and explore each and every corner of your wet cavern. The other one, the man behind you, looped his arm around you, slipping it between your and the blond’s bodies, travelling south, between your folds and finding your clit. Pressing on it, circling it languidly as way to distract you; and it worked. Your moans getting louder, your body squirming and moving like it had a mind of its own, asking the males to just get on with it. And how could they refuse you; you are the birthday girl after all! Picking up the pace, both of them thrusting into you, rearranging your insides. Still sensitive from you last orgasm, you couldn’t help your walls fluttering around them, tightening around them. So lost in the pleasure, you mind going blank, incoherent string of words leaving your lips and echoing through the room, thank god for the loud music outside or it would’ve been so embarrassing. Mixed to that was their groans and heavy breath, the sound of skin clapping adding to the symphony. And you can’t help it, none of you could. When the knot inside you broke, your eyes rolled back and tongue lolled out, your head thrown back and your nails clawing, you reached your high, probably the most intense you’ve ever had. And soon after, Yuuji came, painting your insides white with praises falling from his lips like a mantra “You’re so good baby, gosh you’re so fucking tight… gosh you got
me going crazy” His words had you whimpering, eyes fluttering you could barely look at him. And Suna didn’t too long, with a moan of your name he reached climax, pulling out to see his seed spilling out of you. “You naughty girl, you liked having both of your holes destroyed? Don’t worry, the night’s not over….. Enjoy your birthday babe”
144 notes · View notes
obxhoe · 4 years
Text
Anon request//JJ x reader
I accidentally deleted the anon request but it was about Rafe and reader being in an unhealthy relationship and JJ helps/saves her. 
a/n: i tried my best with this and i hope this is okay!!! thank you for requesting! Sorry this is so late and that i have been lacking with content, work has been insane and i’m slowly getting back on track. I have a few things in progress. I tried to make this story as positive as it could be, having been in an abusive relationship myself and I didn’t wanna trigger anyone or anything. Soooo yeah enjoy!
word count: around 2,400
Warnings: drugs, abusive/unhealthy relationship (i tried to leave out graphic content, just a lot of yelling), swearing
He was high. Again. This had become the new normal, Rafe getting high out of his fucking mind almost every night. And it was usually the only time he was somewhat nice to you. It started out when he went from smoking with you or his friends to him smoking alone, multiple times, every day. Then came cocaine. One night at a party you two decided to try it. The rush was too much for you, a whiplash of sensations hitting you all at once and you decided to stick to weed from that moment on. Rafe on the other hand fell in love with it and well, shit hit the fan. Fast. It was exhausting having to deal with his constant mood swings. 
Last night was bad. He says he would never physically hurt you, but he’s gotten close to it before and it terrifies you. He grabbed your arm last night when you were trying to leave and this morning the bruise was already apparent. It was right above your wrist so it was going to be hard to hide, the humidity was insane and long sleeves did not seem like the move. But, you put on a long sleeve shirt anyway in an effort to hide it from your friends.
You arrive at the chateau, lugging your surfboard up the steps and letting out a huff. Beads of sweat were already forming at your hairline. You drop the surfboard on the floor of the porch and head inside. The rest of the pogues were in the back, Kie reading, and the guys playing soccer.
“Why does it always feel like we live in the actual jungle. The humidity is so disgusting my clothes are literally sticking to my skin.” You complain as you plop down into a plastic lawn chair. Your friends turn and smile at you, happy you finally arrived. John B and JJ run over and tackle you to the ground while Pope stands there laughing so hard that there are tears forming in the corners of his eyes. This is where you are the happiest, not with Rafe. It’s a red flag, one of the many you have chosen to ignore.
“Okay okay hello to you too, now get off!” You squeal. They climb off of you and sit in a circle.
“We haven't seen you in like, what? A week? Where have you been?” Kie asks. Your stomach starts to churn, Rafe doesn’t like it when you hang out with the pogues. The past week you’ve been with him or working.
“I was working, a lot, all the time.” You hope they believe your excuse. The boys seemed to believe it but Kie wasn’t having it as she raised an eyebrow and you gave her a look as to say ‘not now, please’. She nods, but you know that the next time you two are alone, she’s going to confront you.
“Okay well I need water or something because I am dying” Kie gets up and you can tell she wants you to follow.
“I’ll come with you, do you guys want anything?” You ask the guys, trying to seem less suspicious. A chorus of ‘beers’ rang out and you nodded, following Kie inside.
“So spill. I know you haven’t been working all the time because I called your mom and she told me you’ve been spending all of your time with Rafe recently. Yes, we hate him but you don’t have to hide that from us.” You can see worry in her eyes. Subconsciously you roll up your long sleeves, obviously overheating and needing some relief.
“Look, I don’t know why I don’t tell you when I see him. I honestly don’t” That was a lie. “He’s just frustrating sometimes and I don’t want to bring anyone into the relationship drama” You reach for the fridge and Kie kicks the door shut and grabs your hand lightly. 
“What’s this?” She asks in regards to the bruise Rafe left last night. Your stomach drops, your mouth goes dry and you don’t know what to say. 
“I was walking Ace and he just pulled a little too tight when another dog walked by that’s all, no big deal” You try to laugh.
“Y/n,” Kie shakes her head, nervousness filling your stomach. “This is not from a dog leash. You and I both know that. This literally looks like a handprint, like someone grabbed you way too hard. And it looks fresh as if it happened within the last day.” She says, releasing your arm and you bring your hands to your head, grabbing at your hair. ‘Don’t cry, don’t cry’ you repeat to yourself silently. But it doesn’t work. You choke out a sob.
“He doesn’t mean it. I know he doesn’t. He just gets really angry sometimes. It was my fault for trying to leave so early” Tears now falling and your breath starting to get falter.
“What is going on? Did I just hear what I thought I heard?” JJ slips in from the hallway, eyes almost all black, fits clenched and face bright red. This was the last thing you needed right now.
“JJ-” you try to calm him down but he just cuts you off.
“No. Do not ‘JJ’ me. Let me see your arm” You shake your head. “Y/n, I said let me see your arm!” He’s shouting now, causing you to cry harder, your body shaking. You stick out your arm and he spins and slams his hand through the wall.
“JJ!” Kie screams. 
“What the fuck” Pope yells as he and John B rush in, obviously hearing the screaming and slamming going on.
“I’m going to kill Rafe. I’m going to fucking kill him” JJ says in the darkest voice you’ve ever heard him use.
“JJ please. She’s been through enough for fucks sake. Look at her” Kie yells pointing in your direction. You’re now crumbled on the kitchen floor. He realizes what he’s done and rushes over and sits down next to you, immediately pulling you into his arms. He rubs your back and apologizes quietly for yelling, you know he just wants to protect you.
“Can someone please explain what is going on” John B runs his hand through his hair, flustered and confused.
Kie shakes her head no but JJ cuts in.
“Y/n has a bruise on her arm and she tried to play it off as if it was some accident her dog caused. It’s literally a handprint. Rafe fucking grabbed her, hard. He’s dead, I swear.” JJ keeps his tone surprisingly calm, remembering he scared you earlier.
“Ok well as much as I would love to kill Rafe,” Pope starts, “We would probably just be putting y/n in more danger.”
“Well we can’t sit and do nothing” JJ says.
“For once I agree with JJ” Kie states, “Not the killing part, obviously. But we can’t just do nothing. She’s obviously unsafe with him.”
“Well what do we do then?” John B asks, walking over as sliding down to sit on the other side of you. 
“I have to talk to him” You state, and everyone starts to tell you how that’s a bad idea and it’s risky etc. etc. “Let me continue. Jesus people, I’m not that dumb. As I was saying. I have to talk to him, but not alone. JJ” you turn and look at the boy “You’re coming with me.”
The group shouts, protesting against your wishes.
“Are you crazy, he’s going to either kill Rafe or get himself killed!” Kie yells.
“I thought you were the other smart one, what kinda plan is this y/n?'' Pope says, shaking his head.
“JJ can’t control his temper when it comes to you, this is not a safe plan” John B says looking over to you.
“Oh since when did you become the expert on safe plans JB? I know this sounds dumb. But Rafe gets scared of JJ when he’s alone, no Topper, no Kelce. I’m going to see him when he’s alone and JJ will be outside waiting in the car. I’ll be on speaker phone the entire time and if shit starts to hit the fan, and I expect it to, JJ will come in and help me.” You say, everyone falling silent. 
“Well” Kie starts, “That’s actually kinda genius. But can the three of us at least sit in my car down the road?”
“Yeah that’s probably best” You state as you stand up and look at your phone going to the “find my friends” app. “Well he’s home now, we should probably get going in case he leaves. I know for a fact he’s alone because Topper and Kelce are off golfing” You show them your phone with the boys’ various locations. 
“I guess having an overprotective, psycho boyfriend has given us an advantage today” Pope mumbles, referencing the fact that Rafe and all of his friends have your location at all times. You nod, the nausea starting to build in your stomach as you get more and more anxious.
You and JJ hop into the van and Kie, Pope and John B get into her car. The plan was to have Kie follow you but pull off the road before the Cameron’s giant driveway. You text Rafe that you’re coming over and get the thumbs up emoji in return causing an eye roll. If you needed any validation that this was the right decision, that was it right there. No enthusiasm or anything. You pull into the driveway and have JJ sit in back so no one sees. It wasn’t weird arriving in John B’s van, you often borrowed it at times because you liked it more than your own car, who wouldn’t? 
“I’ll run in there in a heartbeat if things start getting the tiniest bit heated” JJ says, taking your hand into his and squeezing. You nod at him, forming words right now is too difficult and you don’t want to risk crying beforehand. You rehearse the script you’ve been playing over and over in your head for the last hour. 
You get out of the car and drag your feet to the front door, opening it up and walking in. You spot Wheezie walking down the stairs, running to give you a hug. Rose pops her head out of the kitchen to yell a quick ‘Hi!” and goes back to cooking dinner. Thanking the universe that you were not alone in this house with just Rafe, you head upstairs. You call JJ and put the phone back into your back pocket so he can hear everything. Knocking softly on the door, you hold your breath as he swings the door open.
“Hi” he mutters, going back to the video game he was playing. Your jaw drops. His room is a mess, his eyes glossed over and rose tinted, the smell of weed emanating off of every object scattered across the room. 
“Uh hi.” You mumble back, staying close to the doorway so that this encounter would not happen behind closed doors. “Can we talk please?” your voice cracks, great start. He looks up at you confused but then starts to realize what's going on.
“You’re leaving me aren’t you?” He throws the controller onto the floor and stands up, making his way to you. You tense up.
“Rafe, I-” He cuts you off, face inches away from yours and fist colliding with the wall.
 “You can’t leave me, Y/n. You can’t.” You see sadness more than anger in his eyes and tears start to fall from your own. 
“I have to” you whisper.
“I’m sorry baby. I’m sorry for everything. I’ll do better I promise.” He starts to cry. This is usually when you give into him, but not today.
“I can’t do this anymore, Rafe. I’m exhausted.” You run your hand through your hair and he spots the bruise on your arm. He freezes in place, hand coming up to his mouth.
“Did I, did I do that?” He says reaching for your arm, but you tense and pull away. “Fuck!” He screams. “I don’t remember that. I swear. I never meant to do anything to hurt you.” You hear footsteps coming. You turn. Wheezie. Your heart drops, she just heard everything. She looks hurt and mad and storms over to Rafe.
“You let her leave this house now!” She screams, tears threatening to fall. More footsteps. Rose and JJ. Dear God, this is the last thing you need. You look over to JJ and shake your head and the two of them stop before they make themselves noticeable. 
“Wheezie stay out of this please” He says harshly.
“Rafe,” You break your silence. “I need to go. And I need you to let me go.” You say backing up. Thanking the universe that JJ was right there ready to run with you back to the car. Rafe tries to follow but Wheezie steps in between.
“Y/n please” He whispers and you just shake your head.
“Goodbye Rafe” You turn and walk towards JJ, grabbing his hand and running down the stairs. You want to wait to thank Rose and Wheezie, but you can’t risk staying in the house a minute longer so you remind yourself to text them after.
You get to the car and slide in the passenger seat as JJ hops in on the other side. All of a sudden a sob racks your body. You’re free. You’re finally fucking free. He just stares at you for a second before pulling out of the driveway and stopping next to Kie’s car. He gets out and opens the passenger door, climbing into the seat with you, pulling you on top of him. He holds you while you sob.
“You did it” He whispers into your hair, “I’m so proud of you”. He repeats his words over and over again and the three others step out of the car. He looks up and nods at them, confirming that everything was okay and you were finally free. Kie and Pope go back into her car as John B climbs into his and drives the three of you back to the chateau. 
Once you arrive, you climb out of the car and strip down to your underwear and walk to the water. You submerge yourself for as long as you can and rise to the surface, taking the deepest breath you’ve been able to take in a long time. You can finally breathe, you’re free. The rest of the pogues join you in the water and you go to hug JJ. You hold each other for what feels like two minutes.
“Thank you JJ” You say against his shoulder. 
“Anything for you, y/n” He squeezes you tighter. “Anything.”
106 notes · View notes
buckyscrystalqueen · 4 years
Text
Meant To Be: Part 5
Pairings: Machine Gun Kelly x Reader
Warnings: Swearing, drug use.
Word Count: 4,072
A/N: Y’all can thank @wings-of-a-raven for this one….
Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“So… you’re just going back, then.”
“Damn it.” You groaned as you shoved the last of your clothes back in a box to ship them back to Los Angeles. “She called in the cavalry.” You glanced over at Colson, who was standing in the nursery that could strangely only be accessed through your room, before looking back to the door where your father was leaning against the door frame.
“Do you really think that’s a good idea, (Y/N)?” He asked. “Going back to him?”
“Excuse me?” You asked as you turned completely toward him. “Do I think it’s a good idea to go to LA to live with the father of my child? Is that what you’re asking me right now?”
“Yes, that’s what I’m asking you.” He said with a slow nod. “He wasn’t there for you, (Y/N). What makes you think he’s going to be there now?”
“Think the better question here would be where were you?” Colson asked softly as he carried a box full of toys out of the nursery to add to the stack that was temporarily destined for the small moving pod that was sitting in the driveway to be taken to his house the next day. “Because I left to save her and had I known about my son, that gap of time would’a been a lot shorter.” Your dad shut up relatively quickly since he hadn’t realized that your significant other was in the room as well, and Kels simply walked back into the nursery to finish packing.
“He’s got a point, you know.” You sighed as you grabbed another one of the rented plastic totes from the stack and set it on your bed to pack up the stack of laundry and photos off of your mom’s dresser (since yours was in a storage unit out in California.) “I love you, Dad but you turned your back on me when I got fucked up at your wedding. Mom when I dropped out, and Junior and Tabby did when I moved. The only person I’ve had by my side in the last ten years is Colson.”
“And who’s choice was that, (Y/N)? Huh?” Ross asked, harshly. “I don’t think you get it yet. Your actions are the reason we aren’t there…”
“No, you are the reason!” Colson shouted as he came out of the room, which startled Gage in his baby swing, and made him start to cry. “You’re her fucking father! The man that should have been by her fucking side no matter what!”
“Babe.” You tried as you picked up Gage to soothe him.
“What kinda man just abandons his fucking kid when she fucks up?”
“Baby…”
“She needed you, old man!” He roared as he stepped toward your father and you quickly stepped between the two men and put your hand on his chest.
“Colson, look at me. Hey…” You gave him a firm push, which didn’t move him far, but it was enough to get his attention. He huffed and put one of his hands on yours on his chest as the other went to your hip to pull you back a step away from your dad.
“And this is the kinda man you want to be around? This violent thug?”
“Fuck you, dick!”
“Colson! Walk it off!” You growled as you moved your hand and grabbed his chin. You yanked hard, and guided his eyes to his own crying son. “Take him, please. We have a flight to catch and we have to get this shit out to the storage box before we go. And I can’t do that shit by myself if you’re making our son cry when he should be napping.”
“You’re right.” He said as he physically relaxed in the safety of the nursery. “You and your fucking Jedi mind shit.”
“Just take your son, please.” You sighed with a smirk. “I have to cover your slack now, too.”
“Jesus, bitch! Ain’t that fucking hard to be a mom.” He teased as he quickly stepped out of your reach.
“Fucker!” You barked as you kicked him hard in the butt cheek. “Get him back to sleep. I’m gunna carry this stack up.” You paused in the doorway and looked at your father with your eyebrow raised. “What? It surprises you that the tattooed, piece of shit thug is that passionate about me when my own family only cares when my son got involved?” You gave him a tight lipped smile and nodded your head as you picked up two boxes and stood in front of your dad until he moved. 
“He’s my family.” You said to him as you stoped by his side for a moment longer. “And I love him. So yes, I’m going with him to California, then I think somewhere overseas for his tour. Not sure. But I’ll be… we will be with him as a family. One that doesn’t turn their backs on loved ones no matter what.” With a slight bob of your head goodbye, you turned and headed toward the stairs to finally finish packing the POD so you could catch your flight.
——
You weren’t exactly sure how you forgot the insanity, but when Gage’s bedtime came and went, and the party was still raging down stairs, you quickly realized that raising a child in Colson’s house was going to be a very difficult challenge. You didn’t want to be ‘that bitch’ that came in and tried to change his lifestyle but the later it got and the more Gage cried, the more pissed off you were. You were at least glad that Kels had a small balcony off his master bedroom, which helped damper the sound, but even so, Gage would not fall asleep. Which is exactly why you found yourself, sitting on a slightly broken lounge chair, with your six month old laying on your chest, watching the Wiggles on the baby channel on your phone at three in the morning.
“Stupid fucking Wiggles.” You grumbled softly under your breath as your son laid peacefully, mesmerized by the bright colors on the screen. “Shit’s like a bad fuckin’ acid trip. Who the fuck though this was a good idea anyways? Should be fucking banned…” Your words were cut off by the deafening rumble of a chainsaw, which made you lurch to your feet.
“Oh no!” You shouted as you ran through the house with Gage once again screaming in your ear since either the sound, or your quick movement startled him. Your heart raced in your chest because you knew, at this late hour, there were enough drugs and alcohol involved in this situation to kill an elephant and that someone was gunna get seriously hurt with that chainsaw. 
“Colson!” You roared as you ripped open the front door and moved Gage to your hip. Your boyfriend whipped around to look at you with wide, panicked eyes as he let the chainsaw in his hand putter to a stop. You shook your head and hiked your son up a little bit more as words escaped you. ‘No’ was all you managed to say before you turned around and slammed the front door behind you. You started all over again with calming your son down as you headed back upstairs, and the front door opened a few moments before you slammed the bedroom door closed behind you.
“OK.” You soothed as you laid Gage down in your arms and started to bounce him gently to calm him down again. “I know, baby boy. Mommy’s not happy either.”
“Babe.” Colson said softly as he came into the room, which made you instantly round on him with rage in your eyes.
“Are you out of your fucking mind?!” You screamed as you continued to bounce. “A fucking chainsaw?! Colson, you are so fucking high, I don’t even think you could tell me what Gage’s middle name is…”
“Michael.” He interrupted, daringly as he closed the bedroom door.
“DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE!” You screamed as you set Gage down in his rocker. “It’s three in the Goddamn morning and your son has been up here screaming for HOURS! So don’t you dare think you can get smart with me right now!”
“Yo, I’m…”
“I don’t wanna fucking hear it!” You countered over him as you stuck your finger in his face, angrily. “You are the one that wanted us here. You are the one that wanted to be a fucking father. So fucking act like a fucking father and let your Goddamn son go to fucking bed already! He’s exhausted from the time change, I’m exhausted from listening to him scream, and you’re downstairs snorting coke like it’s the fucking 80’s again. Get your fucking shit together, Kels.” You slammed your finger into his chest so hard, you heard your knuckle crack and he reached out and quickly grabbed your wrist before you could turn away.
“OK.” He said simply with a nod of his head, knowing that this was not the time to piss you off because you would swing on him. “My bad. I’ll wrap it up and come help get him to sleep. I’m sorry, baby girl.”
“You fucking better be.” You barked as you ripped your arm out of his grip and went back to pick up your son. “Goddamn chainsaw. It’s three in the fucking morning and you dumb mother fuckers are running a fucking chainsaw. Fucking idiots.” Kels watched you step back onto the patio with a shake of your head, and after a moment, he turned and quickly headed down stairs.
“Yo, parties over.” He called out as he turned down the music.
“The fuck?!”
“Dude, you just got back…”
“Yea, and I got a screamin’ son and a pissed off baby mama upstairs that need to get some sleep. So keep your shit down because I don’t feel like getting fucking stabbed tonight.”
“Dude.” Baze laughed as he poured himself another drink. “When’d you get fucking whipped?”
“When I had a fucking kid, dog.” Colson snapped as he grabbed two beers from the fridge in hopes that they would be a good start of a peace offering. “When I became a fucking parent. That’s when I got fucking whipped.” With a shake of his head, he grabbed some weed from the bag the counter and headed out of the kitchen to calm you down. “And keep the fucking music down!” He called out over his shoulder as he climbed the stairs. He slipped into the room as silently as he could and cringed when he heard Gage still whimpering on the patio.
“Here, baby girl.” He tried as he set the beers and the bud down on the bed on his way outside. “Give him here. Go smoke…”
“Why do you do this to me, Colson?” You asked as you turned around toward him with tears in your eyes. “Huh? Why do you constantly make me the bad guy?”
“Babe, it’s not like that.” He sighed as he gently took Gage from your arms.
“But it is.” You sighed as you walked past him. “Because I know the crew enough to know they called you pussy whipped for wanting to get my son to bed at a reasonable hour. I know that being up here to do something other than getting laid right now is the last thing you want to be doing when there’s at least a half dozen half naked skanks downstairs. And I also know that every minute for the last seven hours, I wanted to be down there partying it up with friends I haven’t really seen in a year…”
“So why didn’t you?”
“What and let him just scream up here all by himself?” You snapped as you flopped down on the bed and cracked open one of the beers. “What kind of mother would that have made me? And don’t you dare say you could have stayed up here with him because we both know you would have lost your shit.” With a heavy sigh, Colson sat down on the bed beside you and moved Gage to lay on his chest comfortably.
“I’m trying, (Y/N).” He said as he looked over at you with a small shake of his head. “I don’t know what I’m doing here.”
“And you think I do? Colson, I’m literally in the same boat as you here. But I can tell you this much for damn sure, we need to find a fucking medium because if night one of us being here was any fucking indication of what it’s gunna be like to live with you again, then I’m taking Gage and finding my own place again and we can figure out some kind of co-parenting shit.”
“No, please.” He said quickly as he sat up a little bit in fear. “Please, I just got you back…”
“Then fucking meet me in the middle here, Kels.” You interrupted as you gestured to the two of you with your finger. “Us as parents, and us as partiers. Because we can’t live on two different pages in the same house. I can’t be a mom and your booty call when you want it while you party it up with our friends. We’re gunna fucking resent each other for that shit real quick and it is gunna tear us apart.”
“And I swear baby girl, I will figure out how to do that ASAP. Just fucking bear with me, OK? I’ll get us there.”
“You better.” You sighed as you got up to grab his bowl from the entertainment center. “And no more Goddamn chainsaws, you hear me?”
“Don’t you wanna hear the idea…”
“No!” You interrupted as you grabbed the weed off the bed and stepped out onto the balcony. “Shit was probably stupid as fuck.”
“It really was.” He chuckled as he laid back down with Gage on his chest so he could sooth him to sleep. “But it was funny as fuck all the same.”
——
“Hey (Y/N).” Colson said as softly as he could as he kneeled on the bed beside you and ran his fingertips through your hair. You growled at him for waking you up just a few hours after you went to bed and pulled the blanket up over your head.
“Unless you or Gage is dying, you better get the fuck away from me, Colson or I will fucking stab you again.”
“No one is dying.” He chuckled as he very carefully pulled the blanket back. “But you, me, and Gage are gunna go to a hotel for a couple days. I have a surprise but it’s gunna keep you and him up for a couple days…”
“I fucking hate you.” You groaned as you opened your eyes to look up at him. “What’s the surprise?” 
“If I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise. Come on. I already packed us up a bag, and fed and changed Gage. Just gotta get you dressed.”
“I’m dressed enough.” You sighed as you sat up and rubbed your hand down your face. You glanced down at the ‘Bloom’ shirt that showed most of your tattooed side thanks to the sleeves and most of the under arm holes being cut out, and nodded. “Fuck it, I’m in LA.”
“OK, you at least need pants.” He laughed as he handed you the pair of jeans he had grabbed from your suitcase. “And shoes.”
“Wait, you’re telling me you heated up a bottle all by yourself?” You asked incredulously as you pulled on your jeans and looked at your tired little boy in his crib from your storage unit in the corner.
“Without the microwave, too.” He said proudly as he held out your sunglasses. “Come on, it’s gunna get really loud in here real soon.” With a heavy sigh, you went over to pick up Gage as Colson grabbed your bag and the car seat. You headed out of the room and nearly tripped over Rook, who was coming out of his bedroom with a large pile of his clothes in his arms.
“Where are you going?”
“Keep walkin’, Uber’s waitin’.” Colson said behind you as JP continued down the hall in front of you. You sighed and did what you were told, too tired to care anymore. You were beyond grateful that he picked a hotel close by and had pulled some strings to get a quiet room, because by the time you got into said room, you had just enough time to pull off your jeans, and put Gage down on the bed beside you before you were back asleep. He let you sleep for the better part of the day before he gently woke you up by running his finger down the bridge of your nose.
“Hey sunshine.” He cooed with a smile. “If you sleep any more, you’re not gunna be able to sleep tonight.” You whined and rolled over on to your back, startling the slightest bit when Gage was laid down on your chest. His giggle made a smile pull at the corner of your lips and you opened your eyes to see his blue eyes staring back at you.
“Well hi there handsome.” You cooed as you put your hands on his back to keep him from rolling off you. “Did you have a fun day with Daddy?”
“We went down to the pool.” Colson said with a smile as he laid down against your side. “And we went swimming for a little bit. Then we went to the atrium and looked at all the plants… and we took some pictures for Mommy and let Mommy catch up on sleep because Daddy’s a fuck head.”
“Daddy is a fuck head.” You giggled as you tilted your head to the side a bit to look at Gage’s new hair style. “And giving out free mohawks?”
“Well I knew you would be pissed if I cut it and he was starting to look a little androgynous…”
“Ooo, big word.”
“Fuck you.” He grumbled as he reached up and fixed the ‘hawk. “So I made my son look bad ass.”
“I would have killed you if you cut his hair.” You said with a small nod as you looked over at him. “But I’m digging the mohawk.”
“It’s fucking bad ass.” He chuckled with a smile. “We’re gunna have to get special EST shit for him since 19 doesn’t work.”
“We both need new tattoos.” You said with a nod as you poked the 19XX tattoo on his collarbone that matched the one across your hip bone. “Fuck, now I want a new tattoo.”
“We should get matching tats for Gage.”
“What the fucking six we already have ain’t enough for you?”
“Bitch.” He groaned as he flicked you in the temple. “Keep that shit up and I’ll call the sitter back and you can order fucking pizza for dinner of some shit.”
“What sitter?” You snapped as you looked over at him with your eyebrow raised. “I’m not leaving him…”
“Relax.” He said as he propped his head up on his fist. “I called Ashleigh. She’s got a niece and she used to baby sit when she was younger all the fucking time. I trust her not to fuck up our kid.”
“Colson, that in no fucking way, shape, or form reassures me.”
“Oh fucking suck it up.” He laughed as he pushed himself up. “We’re going up the fucking block to dinner to get on the same fucking page about shit, OK? Now get your ass up, get into that smokin hot black dress that makes that ass look so fucking good, and let’s go fucking eat some fucking steak like a couple’a sexy carnivores.”
“I’m not going.” You said with a shake of your head as you held Gage to your chest a little tighter.
“Yes… you are.” Colson said, simply as he came over and picked up his son. “Hey, little man. You gunna stay with Ash tonight so Daddy can smooth talk Mommy into his pants again?”
“Richard Colson Baker!” You snapped as you got out of bed and whipped around to look at him. “No sexcapades talk to the baby!”
“Oh, Daddy’s getting lucky tonight.”
——
“Kels! Kels, over here!”
“(Y/N)! Are you finally going back to Penthouse?”
“Where’s your son?”
“Here, baby. Over here.” Colson said softly as he let go of your hand and put it on the small of your back. “Guys! Can you fuckin’ move and let her walk, please?!” You stuttered a bit and stopped walking when someone with a giant camera stopped at the curb in front of you.
“Guys, please?” You asked as you put your hand up in front of your face to shield your eyes from the camera flashes to look for the town car that was supposed to be picking you up.
“Yo, fucking move!” Kels roared as the camera people kept taking their photos and not giving a damn about either of your privacy as they fought to get one of the first photos of you and Colson out in public together. Your hand flew out to catch his fist before he swung on the man with the camera in your face.
“I won’t ask you again.” You growled evenly as you stepped around the photographer.
“Babe!” Colson shouted as he grabbed your arm and yanked you back on the sidewalk as the car came screeching to a stop where you had just been standing and only a few inches away from the man with the camera. You stumbled into his chest and the paparazzi actually stopped taking pictures for a moments. “Go, go.” Colson said quickly as he ran in front of you and ripped open the back door of the car. You sprinted on your toes in your heels and ducked around him into the car at the same moment the photographers started to take their photos again.
“Drive!” You said as Kels slammed the door behind himself. “Just drive!” You ducked your head below the seat and realized that you were actually panting to catch your breath as Colson whipped around and cupped your face in his hands.
“Holy fuck… are you OK? Jesus, come here.” You shook your head as he pulled you into his arms with a heavy sigh. “Fuck, that fucking car was right there.”
“I’m fine.” You sighed as you sat up and flipped your hair back. “Jesus, Colson. I said yes to dinner, not to being fucking mauled.”
“OK, are you at least fucking OK? Scared the fucking shit outta me.”
“How the fuck did they even know we were staying at a fucking hotel?”
“Because I was down in the fucking lobby with Gage.” Colson sighed as he leaned back against his seat. He gave the driver the address of the restaurant and huffed as he looked over at you with a smile. “At least you look hot.”
“You’re an asshole.” You laughed as you pulled your phone from your bag to check your hair and makeup. “Knew I should have stayed in bed with my son.”
“Wrong. You get to party it up with me instead starting right now. Yay!” You looked over at him and did a double take as he shook a small vial of coke between his fingers.
“Wait, you’re serious?” You hissed as you glanced up at your man.
“You quit breastfeeding just this week.” He said as he unscrewed the vial. “And I want my party girl back. Even if it is for one night.” You bit your cheeks to hide your smirk as he poured out a bump on his hand and held it out between the two of you. “Come on, baby. Fly with me.”
“You are a very, very bad influence.” You whispered as you carefully pulled his hand up a bit to snort the coke down. You shivered at the distantly familiar burn and sniffled as you sat up straight. “Bad influence, Colson. So, so bad.”
“How the fuck else did we get Gage?” He teased as he did a bump himself before pouring one more out for you. “Quick, we’re here.”
“Horrible.” You muttered as you did the last bump. “Fuck, that’s good shit.”
“Welcome home, baby girl.” Colson said as he slid the vial into the nice leather jacket he had on. “Welcome home.”
Part 6
74 notes · View notes
yikeswtfmate · 4 years
Text
Strange Times || Ch. 4
previous part // Strange Times - Series Masterlist // next part
Summary: Y/N’s found a buyer, but Raymond is less than happy about it. He just hopes his worries won’t become reality.
Pairing: Raymond (Charlie Hunnam - The Gentlemen, 2020) x Reader
Warnings: swearing; mentions of violence
A/N: SURPRISE! i know i promised a drabble, but i’m guessing you won’t mind this instead 😇 now i can take a break from it again until you start getting restless again 😂 joking!....unless...
A/N 2: ok, i know! and you’ll know why i’m sorry after you’ll have read this BUT in my defence, this is already 2,600 words long and i had to stop somewhere, or it would’ve gotten to at least 5,000 if not more
Tumblr media
Mickey is starting to lose his patience with Y/N. Watching her over the rim of his glass, he notices there’s something off about her, but he can’t quite put his finger on it. Rosalind’s not home yet, having had to finish some other business or another at the garage, which is a shame because sometimes he needs her to understand his own sister.
He’s annoyed with how secretive Y/N’s been, and although he’s trying to give her space, as his wife warned he should, he’s dissatisfied with the morsels of information she’s been feeding him. This is not right, and he knows all too well how stubborn she could be, so even if she’d be in deep shit, the little asshole would still not tell him.
He grinds his teeth, intent on having a chat with Ray, because that fucker’s been like a fucking vault as well. Are they hiding something from him? He wonders, his gaze shifting to the man who’s yet again seated next to Y/N on the sofa. Mickey’s eyebrow twitches involuntarily when he catches the look that passes between those two, and what the fuck is going on.
“Right, so pleasantries aside, I have good news.” Y/N speaks up, tearing her eyes away from Ray. “I have a buyer.”
Ray takes a sharp intake of breath, and leans towards the bottle of whiskey that’s been sitting before them. Mickey closes his eyes for a brief second, hoping and praying to all that’s fucking mighty his sister did not stir shit up again. He knew he shouldn’t have trusted her when she’d only tell him it’s about the business. He knew there was something fishy when she’d just disappear for hours and days on end and reappear with a bright smile and a dismissive wave of her hand.
“Y/N, what the fuck did you do?” Mickey demands, and his jaw is clenched, eyes shut as he tries to gain some semblance of composure.
“Solved your shit, that’s what I did.” She shrugs, grabbing the whiskey for herself and pouring some more in her own glass. “Look, I really don’t want to listen to your whole spiel about how I’m not supposed to interfere, and how this is your shit that you have to deal with. We’ve already established you fucked it up royally last time. All of us here know that I don’t really have anything to gain from you selling, except to not have to listen to you bitch and moan all the time about how tired and stressed you are.”
There’s a moment of reluctant acknowledgement from him so she continues. “I have my connections here, and believe it or not, a pair of tits and some brains actually got me further than your little game with Berger did. Now.” Y/N places the glass on the table and interlaces her fingers on her knees, waiting for their full attention. “Are you interested in what I have for you or not?”
Raymond sighs beside her. He doesn’t like this more than he likes the drunkards that shout as they pass his house at 2 in the morning, but the truth of the matter is that Mickey does want to sell, for all the bravado he’s been putting up for the past year. Plus, even though he’s known Y/N for close to two months now, she’s had plenty of opportunities to show him just how clever she is. He supposes there’s no point in dismissing what she has to say, for all the wariness he’s holding in his heart, and not just because she’d be up to bash Mickey’s face in.
Ray can see the same thoughts going through his boss’ head. He can read them right in the small crease on his forehead and the tick of his jaw. He doesn’t like it more than he does, but he’ll have to at least hear what she has to say.
Mickey stands up, hands in his pockets, and Ray already knows he’ll start pacing around the room until he’s completely satisfied. They will be in here for a long time, and having Y/N involved, it can only mean that this plan will have to be not only airtight, but bulletproof and secured in bubble wrap, just to be sure.
*
This plan is not airtight, and Ray definitely doesn’t like it. He has a feeling in his bones that this will go sideways, but he keeps his mouth shut. He’s already expressed his thoughts to Mickey, who didn’t want to hear it. For all the holes Ray’s tried poking through Y/N’s plan, she seems awfully confident this Oscar Christie would come through. He can’t understand exactly why Mickey agreed to everything in the end, but Ray can just fucking hope it’s not because he’s getting desperate to sell. It could only mean it could get sloppy. Again. And he sure as fuck does not want this to get sloppy when Y/N is right in the middle of it.
He is still wary, and after the fifth time he’s got Y/N’s voicemail, he’s starting to feel more jittery than he should in normal circumstances.
“I think we should go in.” Ray mutters, with a shake of his head, not tearing his eyes away from the warehouse.
It’s dark, and there’s only one functioning lamp in the whole lot and if that doesn’t seem foreboding he’d eat his own fucking hand. He doesn’t like that Y/N is in there alone, a request Christie made clear that if broken, the whole deal’s off. He doesn’t like that this does not take place like a normal conversation in a bar or Mickey’s office or anywhere else more civilised for that matter, because what the fuck are they? They are just selling weed, for fuck’s sake, why the fuck is Y/N in a fucking dark warehouse like an animal being prepared for slaughter? Sure, they’ve done a lot of shit in warehouses themselves, but that’s just it. A lot of unspoken of shit.
“Would you stop shaking your fucking leg?” Mickey snaps. “We agreed on giving her half an hour. I don’t like this either, but she still has 5 more minutes.”
Ray is ready to bound out the door when the time’s up and Y/N is still nowhere to be seen. The sound of a phone cuts through the tension and silence that’s been stretching between the four men in the car. He turns to Mickey, who takes out his phone and reads the message, and Ray feels like the wind is knocked out of his lungs when he sees his boss throw the door open and bolting towards the warehouse without an explanation.
Bunny and Big Dave quickly follow after him, guns at the ready, but it takes Ray one more second to react before running blindly after them. They find Mickey frantically searching what Ray realises with a sinking dread to be an empty building. Christie is not here, his men are not here, but most importantly, Y/N is not here.
“Boss, what is going on?” Bunny asks quietly.
Mickey mumbles something unintelligible, forcing Big Dave to fearfully prod further, awaiting an explanation.
“THEY TOOK MY FUCKING SISTER!”
The words bounce off the empty walls, and Raymond feels like he’s spiralling down into insanity.
*
Two hours later, they have a request for ransom. Mickey is to give up the business in exchange for nothing, and Christie will gracefully allow him, his wife and his sister to leave the country without having all of them hounded down and killed. He would accept any man who’d like to stay on for him, but he supposes – correctly – that they’re all too loyal to Pearson to even offer. He’ll even let Mickey keep the money he already has, just out of the goodness of his heart. Cunt.
Mickey is pacing again, after having finished nearly an entire full glass of whiskey, thrown over the desk in the middle of the office, kicked a lamp and ripped off the curtains. Ray wishes he could let out his frustration and fucking dread out as well, but he’s forcing his brain to work in overdrive, coming up with a solution whose top priority (and only result he actually cares about) is to get Y/N out of this. His gaze shifts towards Rosalind, who’s sat on the ledge of the window, seemingly ignoring them both, having kept quiet ever since she arrived at the apartment. Ray supposes if there’s anyone in this entire world who understands Y/N completely, it’s her. But before he can place his laptop down in order to go over to her and discuss the idea that’s starting to swirl in his mind, Mickey slams down a hand on the wall.
“Right. Ray, I need you to find out where the fuck this little cunt operates and get me Guy on the phone. We’re smoking this little shit out.”
“You can’t bomb him.” Ray says, an impatient sigh escaping his lips. “If you do that, the next thing you’ll see is Y/N’s body on your doorstep. It will literally mean war.”
“It already means war!” He roars. “I will rip this fucker limb for limb if he thinks he can lay a hand on my sister and get away with it and my business.”
“We’re not bombing him.” Ray says finally.
Mickey turns to his underling, his left eyebrow twitching, jaw clenched so tight he might actually bite through his teeth. His nose is red, but he’s not so drunk that his face would become purple with madness anytime soon. Rosalind is still quiet and to be completely fair, it’s starting to tick Ray off. Why the fuck isn’t she helping? At least to get her rabid husband to calm down enough to start thinking rationally.
“I don’t remember anyone putting you in charge.” Mickey’s voice strangely resembles that of a snake, but Ray’s heard it enough times to not be bothered. At this point in time, Mickey is the last person he gives a fig about. “I am the boss and if I say we’ll smoke them out, that’s exactly what you’re going to arrange.”
“I couldn’t give a dog’s arse what you say, Mickey. This is a stupid plan and it’s bound to get her killed so you can either sit down and shut up until I come up with a plan or sober up enough to help me.”
There’s a beat of silence in the room, enough to hear Rosalind shift in her seat towards them. She looks at her husband, who’s staring incredulously at Raymond, but he’s shocked into silence at the blatant disobedience. For all of Ray’s cold blood, Y/N found his every weakness and became the heart of them.
“I don’t know what little game you’ve been playing with my baby sister, you fucking dickhead, but that does not mean that I will accept you disrespecting me like this.” Mickey sneers.
Raymond stands up, an inch between their faces now. Rosalind watches them warily, sure that if there will be any sudden movements around them, they’d just throw themselves at each other’s throats like rabid dogs.
“I’m not playing any game with your sister.” Ray seethes, a finger pointing to Mickey’s face. “I care about her and I’m trying to get her home safe, without starting a turf war, something that your fucking ego could never understand. Now. Will you fucking sober up so we can sort this shit out or are you going to keep on acting like a little cunt?”
Rosalind jumps up then, pushing them apart right when Mickey gets a hold of Ray’s jacket. She feels the rumbling of their growls in their chests, right under her hands. She hates these stupid displays of masculinity, especially when now is not the fucking time.
“Calm down.” She says.
“Don’t tell me to calm down!” Ray shouts, anger stretching his patience thin. “This is your fucking fault.” He goes on, finger still pointing at Mickey. “You went on with this motherfucking stupid plan, thinking that just because she’s a bird, she’ll get a better deal out of it than you ever would. Instead of dealing with it yourself or let me fucking do it, you agreed to let her go, when you know you could’ve easily found a way around it, you sick fuck! Or how about this, huh? How about not going forward with it at all for fuck’s sake because it’s not like YOU COULDN’T FIND ANYONE ELSE TO BUY YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS WITHOUT INVOLVING Y/N.”
Raymond ignores the little step forward Mickey takes, and Rosalind’s hand on his chest would do nothing to stop him if they’d actually get around to throwing punches. Ray doesn’t want that though. It would mean more wasted time, and he’s already wasted enough, so he grabs his laptop, set on going down to Coach’s gym. He needs help, and apparently he won’t get any from Mickey anytime soon.
Ray stops in the doorway, and turns to where the two are still standing, watching him. “Listen to me, Mickey, and listen well. She might be smarter than all of us, but you better pray to all that’s fucking mighty that no one even touched her before I get to her or I will fucking rip your eyes out and I don’t give a bloody shit you’re my fucking boss.”
*
One hour later, Raymond is punching a gym bag, his knuckles are bleeding and sweat is dripping on the mat. The AC does little to relieve the tension in his muscles, and even after chucking his shirt off, he feels too hot, too restless, too panicked to sit still. Coach does everything he can to have a proper conversation with him, although he has to push his glasses up on his nose with every rattle of the bag.
His boys are scattered around the gym, now sitting all quietly, after they’d first gone berserk at the news. Raymond supposes he shouldn’t have been surprised that Y/N’s both met all of them, as well as gotten them all completely smitten.
“You know you gotta talk this out with Mickey, right?” Coach says. “I get that you got at it badly, mate, but he’s her brother. You both want to get her out of this.” A slight rumble from the room makes him roll his eyes. “We all want to get her out of this, but we can’t if we won’t work together.”
Raymond stops with his fist in the air. He looks at Coach briefly, and although he fucking hates to admit it, of course he’s right. Clenching his teeth, he turns around to grab a towel, only to be faced with an obviously just as irked Mickey.
“Rosalind might have a plan.” He says with a nod, enough to show he’s willing to get over their row without hard feelings. “She has some messages from Y/N that she’s sent a few weeks back. Ros thinks Y/N sent them as a precaution in case some shit like this would happen.”
Raymond fixes his glasses and nods, a faint smile on his lips. “Smart girl.”
“I need you and your guys as well, Coach.” Mickey says.
“Whatever you need, Mr Pearson sir.” Primetime offers.
Mickey turns to Coach’s protégés, who are now starting to huddle together, ready to follow orders. A look in Coach’s direction would be enough to know that the man would’ve preferred not to get them involved in this, but he knows damn well this would be an interdiction they would never comply with. So, with a sigh, he nods his assent.
“Let’s get going then.” Mickey says. “I need to have some words with this motherfucker who thinks he can mess with my family.”
***
Taglist:
@myfriendmademedothisxd @alainabooks143 @rvmanova​ @aisling1985​
157 notes · View notes
Text
A Dream I Had Of You
Hello everyone! After two years, I finally had the motivation and confidence to write a small fanfiction for Life is Strange. It’s an amateur poem I wrote within some hours - beware, English is not my frist language, so please excuse some mistakes! 
The poem is about the reader thinking about Rachel Amber some months after her disappearance. I wrote it quite vaguely, so that you can choose who the reader is - maybe it’s Chloe, maybe it’s Frank, or maybe even yourself if you ship her with you! :) Or anyone else depending on who you ship her with. 
That’s my first work ever to be published on a website, so I hope it’s at least somewhat ok! If you want to give me your opinion, please don’t hesitate, I would love to get advice and criticism to improve my work.
So, I hope you will enjoy it!
A DREAM I HAD OF YOU
Night falls over our hometown
as the lighthouse shines over the bay.
I‘m sitting on our bench with a frown,
mild wind blows some dark clouds away.
Slowly and steadily, a crystal sky is revealed,
the moonlight‘s feeble shine falls onto my face.
The lovely view unable to gladden my heart unhealed
as it reminds me of a person lost without a trace.
The wind causes my eyes to close unintentionally,
now giving me the chance to focus on my surroundings.
Familiar sounds of slow waves calming me exceptionally,
enough to allow me to think about my dismal feelings.
This mystery, seemingly unsolvable, is the cause of my hurt.
More than three months without a sign of you, strangely,
although your case is the main topic on AMBER alert.
It‘s almost as if you left this world, this universe, entirely.
How often did we envision this idea of running away together,
never even doubting the possibility of ever leaving this cage.
Your smile so tender and loving for me lasting forever,
nowhere near the acted one that is usually performed onstage.
Suddenly, you take my hand and lead me excitedly to the junkyard.
It‘s midday, warm, and I can‘t tell whether you or the sun shines brighter.
My lazy goddess I call you as you lay down on the bonnet of a car,
barely holding the cigarette and waiting for me to come with a lighter.
Gladly, I light it for you, as always, no words needed.
You smoke in silence, obviously deep in thought.
“Tonight we can finally leave. Just need some weed and
everything‘s ready. A lil‘ bit of medicine for the journey needs to be brought.“
My ears perceive your heavenly laughter, you sound so determined.
“Meet me at our bench at midnight. Gotta say goodbye to some people.“
She is talking about the Vortex Party, her last one before leaving without a word
which makes me grin, almost insanely, because that surely is kind of evil.
She faces me and leans forward to place a tender kiss on my cheek,
lightly blowing her nicotine breath in my face.
Her cold lips keep kissing me gently, like raindrops, making me feel so weak.
I sure as hell ain‘t gonna miss this place.
My hands reach to hold and kiss her, but there is nothing.
The places she kissed me are wet and there is no nicotine smell anymore.
Instead, I smell salt and feel cold wind cooling my wet cheek, drying.
Her voice gone, the only sound being wild waves down at the shore.
The junkyard is far away, the sun seems to have hidden itself behind a cloud.
More and more raindrops start falling from the sky, waking me up.
Slowly, and unsure, I open my eyes, and almost instantly cry aloud -
I‘m alone sitting at the familiar bench, in the distance lightnings struck.
At the promised hour, I sat here and waited for my angel to come,
ready to start a new future with her, my love, my best friend.
But she never arrived. And unbeknownst to me, or anyone,
she would be missing from then on, never to return again.
Deep in the dark of the night, the lighthouse‘s illumination is my only guidance.
Incredible helplessness and desperation overwhelm me – Rachel, where are you?
Thousand tears start falling, my cries breaking the nightly silence.
Again, all of this is only a dream I had of you.
12 notes · View notes
auckie · 5 years
Text
Watching this music video just showing cuts of men picking coffee beans and sketch drawings of Moses escaping Egypt set to gentle banjo and some light vocals is reminding me of how when I was super high the other night my friend made me watch this movie called He Never Died about how Cain from the Bible was basically a vampire and I don’t know if I was just off my rocker but I remember the first ten minutes of the movie being like. Black screen and intense sounds of men screaming, fire, animal howls, chains rattling, explosions, rumbling— fade in to a man laying in bed in a dank apartment. The sounds continue but change slightly to add horses neighing and galloping, gunshots, people shouting; the man is going about his morning routine all the while, ignoring the sounds and just acting as a huge contradiction to the soundscape. This goes on for a really long time, like jarringly so, and then abruptly ends with no apparent explanation. And I was LOSING it I couldn’t stop repeating ‘it’s just noises! This is just a compilation of sound effects!! It’s not a movie!’ And I was like in tears while my friend sat in stony silence watching this shitty movie. The rest of it wasnt that good but sometimes the sounds came back and I would lose it all over again bc they were so poorly incorporated and mixed to convey like. I know what they were trying to do but it didn’t matter. I need to watch it again to see if it really was that insane but I think it was, because again— about a week or so ago I was very high at a really bad concert and the two opening acts were the worst I’d ever seen.
[[MORE]]
Like there were a lot of strange things going on at that show and I assumed I was just very faded but when I was sober the next day I sat back and reflected: my friend was voguing to horrible music no one was dancing to. The crowd was full of like ravers, bikers, parents, and gay people. A man with a fanny pack, oddly enough, who said he was from the exact place I live in rn (I was across the country at the time) walks up and starts hitting on my friend? I think? I couldn’t tell. Bare in mind my friend is done up in drag but at the show he probably looked a bit like a punk cis girl. But the guy seemed very gay. I just don’t know. He told us there was a wizard visiting a lot of the shows he’d been to around LA and California in general. This GREATLY alarmed me and so I became very alert 🚨 I told him I was very glad he informed us bc if I had seen a wizard in that state of mind without warning I would’ve booked it for sure. The performers voice kept cracking and she kept asking the crowd to dance. There was a weird amount of people in the crowd who were professional photographers, like, seven around me alone and four off stage and more in this very tiny venue. After her, the next guy gets on and starts his set. People in front of me comment that he’s drunk and then I SWEAR I see him get on all fours and snort two lines. I realize I am probably wrong so I keep this to myself, turn to see fanny pack is talking to other people and Keeps opening his pack. Figure he must be selling molly and decide I want some. Here’s around the time I decide to start drinking so I can ignore how bad the music is and just try and dance. Once I’m drunk the main act is up and he’s actually ok! Not my kinda shit but, my friend knows him and it’s his bday so ofc I’m not gonna complain. Fanny pack is back and for some reason I’m convinced he’s a cop but I remember weed is legal in LA so I take more edibles. My friend gets mad bc the guy he knows doesn’t meet up with him after the show like promised so we wander around LA confused and go to this bar covered in taxidermied animal busts and wood and leather and I see a drunk girl get in a fight with the bouncer bc she says she knows the first horrible performer we saw. Her friends seem to abandon her so I ask if she’s ok and she assured me and wanders off. We see her again like 5 times, always looking confused and talking to randos so I’m like 👀❗️❗️
Now that it’s over and I’m calmed down I rehashed all this to my friend and he’s like WHAT you’re crazy you’re high. He reminds me of the time we smoked with his sister at her wedding and we got a lyft afterwards wherein I was PARALYZED with fear and visibly sweating, silent in the car on the ride home. The driver notices and asks and I can only shake my head so my friend is like ‘uh he’s tired’. When we get out I’m like. ‘Dude. Our driver was a NAZI. Covered in Nazi tattoos and bald and also a little person? How were you talking to him?!! How were you not afraid we were about to be murdered?!’ And my friend was like— tel, our driver was a WHITE WOMAN WITH HAIR, not a little person, no tattoos, not a Nazi. Totally normal.
So that was like the one time...at least in recent history I can admit that just being high warped my perception. It has happened before. But like. I was right about the concert! The fanny pack guy wasn’t selling molly but he was weird and the music sucked so let’s see if this Cain movie is insane too. Is it obvious I’m on kratom rn bc this post is way longer than I intended it to be
8 notes · View notes
tasphilclass-blog · 5 years
Text
Does life have meaning!?  Tough question, huh? by Uyen Ngo
 Have you ever watched an animated sitcom called Rick and Morty? If not, you better watch it (please don't watch it in front of your parents unless they are ok with "inappropriate" scenes). Anyways, in this sitcom, one of the main characters, Morty said: "Nobody belongs anywhere, nobody exists on purpose, everybody's gonna die" (Didn't expect that I could learn philosophy's stuff throughout this "stupid" cartoon!). So, what's the point of living when you gonna die? 
Tumblr media
 I bet you don't even know how to answer this question, right! Why don't look at BoJack, the main character in BoJack Horseman to find your answer (btw you MUST watch it cuz it's fucking hilarious). He spends most of his time (also his money) to be a drunk, sex addict, trying to forget about his existence. So, he never has to think about the reality of the situation. Like him, you guys are always self-destructive instead of accepting the truth that you have to die. But why you must upset that you gonna die? Seriously, it's just the natural law for everyone, we need to die so we don't overpopulate in this world!  
Tumblr media Tumblr media
 OMFG, please stop crying like 5 years-old kiddos cuz there are no reasons to be depressed when your life has no meaning. Life has no meaning doesn’t mean that your life will end. It just gives you a chance to create meaning in your life through your freedom and decisions. So, *BOOM* The only GOD that exists is you (yep, there isn’t God in this world). You are the ones who choose to become who you are. Also, the ones choose how to end up your life. If those choices made you feel happy, keep doing them. Like me, choose to not study chemistry before tests if it makes me feel way better than studying it! (but please don’t tell Mr. Scott about this or else he gonna tell my parents) 
Tumblr media
 To be honest, all of you just remind me of BoJack (that’s why I keep using him as an example). Yes, I know it sounds like I’m insane but it’s actually true tho! Because you can decide whatever you want and most of them are pretty bad (no doubts cuz no one is perfect), you try to escape from them. That’s why you always blame others when you freak out about those decisions. Same here, BoJack rejected his responsibility several times such as "I'm responsible for my own happiness? I can't even responsible for my own breakfast." Or “I didn’t do anything wrong because I can’t do anything wrong. EVERYTHING IS MEANINGLESS”. Like what Sartre, a French philosopher, once stated that "From the moment that he is thrown into this world he is responsible for everything he does". 
Tumblr media
 So, dudes, that's how life works: whatever you do, you need to take responsibility. Y’all clearly see that you have the freedom to change your actions and even yourselves. Sadly, you guys just like BoJack, choosing not to face your own consequences by blaming everything. The great example is those people (I don’t want to say their name, but I think you know who’re they) who copy my works and then blame me for making their grade lower than mine (that’s true, I’m not even joking). I mean WTF is wrong with you, you should be thankful that I didn’t tell any teachers that your action instead of blaming me! Even worse, some of you ( again, I knew who did those things, but I just don’t want to call their name here) started to be self-destructive again by being drunk, drug addict (eat weed-cookies, smoke, etc).  So, don’t say your life is meaningless cuz honey, it’s all your faults! Therefore, I guarantee you that your life will be meaningful if you’re brave enough to deal with your freaking own problems :)))
Tumblr media
2 notes · View notes
artistlove17 · 5 years
Text
Losing my Nana
3 March 2019.
This was the day I lost one of, if not THE most important person in my life.
A little backstory: 👇
I had been living with my fiance in a rental trailer. Our landlord had admitted that he had been going into our house when we weren't home, which freaked us out because that is an insane invasion of privacy, not to mention it really creeped me out because there have been several "incidents" at that house and due to work shifts there were days that I was home alone... So we really wanted to move. Before this my fiance had lost his job and then after that I ended up losing mine. So we knew we WANTED to leave... and then we HAD to leave anyway because we couldn't pay rent anymore.
My Nana has always been my biggest supporter and has always made sure I knew that she loved me (she would tell me 200 times a day) and would always let me know she was there for me and that she understood. We had a really deep conversation about life and things before she died. She took care of me when I had the chicken pox at 19 years old. She was the first person I ever smoked weed with. She actually gave up doing any kinds of pills so she could be around me.
She asked us to live with her. She had been asking for a while, and now my fiance and I had nowhere else to go so she was super excited about us moving in with her finally.
I was kind of happy about it too because she didnt live in the best neighborhood and I liked that I would be there to make sure she was ok and I could do things for her (like cook for her and take her to her appointments and things like that).
At this point we had just started moving into the room that previously belonged to my meth head cousin. Yea... it's as bad as it sounds. He had been in and out of prison for many MANY drug, weapon, and theft charges. He would break into houses (including my dads house when I lived there) and steal all kinds of collectables and valuables and then go pawn them for meth money.
My Nana hated him. She was constantly kicking him out. But... she had a really big heart and if you apologized enough then she'd forgive you. So my other cousin Candy (the meth heads mom and my Nana's Niece) was constantly abusing this fact. She knew my Nana was a pushover. But there were times Nana told her no as well and then Candy resorted to threatening.
She'd tell Nana that she would "cut her off" which meant Nana would have no one to take her to her doctors appointments or to the store or things like that. Nana didnt drive or have a car, so she relied on Candy for these things. Nana had actually been asking my Uncle to buy her a car so she wouldn't have to deal with Candy anymore... but Candy was always pretending to be Nana's best friend and spent time with Nana when it was convenient for her. (One of Nanas sons had a lot of medical issues, the other lived 13 hours away, and my dad was just an asshole. So my nana relied on rides from Candy almost every day.)
The last time that Nana kicked out my meth head cousin he had hit her (which I didn't know about until after he landed in prison once again... otherwise he'd be dead and I'd be in prison). But Candy brought him back over there while Nana was gone and made him take a shower and get comfortable and everything... and then when Nana raised hell about him being there and told Candy that he had hit her... Candy literally threatened my Nana and told her "Well you better not ever hit him back! I'll be done with you if you do! Touch him and see if I ever help you again..." She literally didn't give a shit that her meth head son had hit my Nana... the woman that she "claimed" was her best friend and she cared sooo much about.
She didn't give a fuck about my Nana... she was just using her and I realize that now.
Candy also got my Nana started on drinking. Candy has been a drunk for as long as I can remember and a lot of my family have told me she used to be on meth and cocaine and has probably tried just about every drug. In the end she just turned to alcohol because it was legal and she thinks no one can say anything about her drinking since it's legal.
She was constantly trying to get my Nana to drink, despite knowing Nana had an addiction problem in the past and Nana telling her she didn't want to drink because she knew she shouldn't. For a year I watched her slowly water Nana down to it... for a year Nana kept saying no and then on a bad day Candy made her a mix drink and she finally accepted it.
This started Candy constantly buying Nana bottled and jugs of Jim Beam whiskey and me watching Candy come over already buzzed in the mornings and making mixed drinks for herself and Nana.
Should also mention that Candy has a really rich husband. He owns a huge shipping corporation in my town and would give Candy anything she asked for. He bought her 2 cars (a brand new Mercedes convertible and a Jeep Wrangler), a nice house that he let her remodel, and a huge swimming pool and hot tub. He takes her on trips wherever she wants to go... but they CONSTANTLY argue and fight because Candy won't let her sons deal with their own shit. Both of them are thieving meth heads who are in prison and she bends over backwards trying to get them out and works just so she can send them money in prison. She has bailed the younger one out more times than I could tell you... he has a whole list of charges and arrests. But she keeps acting like he's done nothing wrong and gives him whatever he asks for. This is something I had a problem with long before any of what I'm about to tell you happened.
(There are also accusations that Candy stole from her husband and gave the money to her sons after she bailed them out once. And she has made jokes herself about how he wouldn't even notice anything was missing and made jokes about how much money she could get if she divorced him. Which her stupid self doesn't realize wouldn't be that much, maybe her 2 cars, because everything else was his inheritance from his dad who originally built the company and she legally isn't allowed to touch his inheritance.)
-
My fiance and I had moved our bed and some of our stuff to my Nana's and spent one night there. It was peaceful and comforting. That night Nana came in our room and joked about how we needed to put our big TV in the living room for her to watch. (We had plans to buy her one at Christmas).
The next day we got up and went and got donuts from my favorite place down the road. After we ate my fiance and I fell asleep watching a movie. At this point we didnt even know my Nana was in the house... we hadn't seen or heard from her since we had been up and assumed she had gone somewhere with Candy like usual. (Turns out Nana had already started to cut Candy off and had called and told her not to come that day, telling her she was just going to rest.)
My Great Aunt Pat had been staying in the living room for a couple of nights because she had been staying with Nana. Nana hated being alone in her apartment, which is why Pat was staying there with her until we got moved in.
My fiance and I got woken up just as it was getting dark out by my Aunt knocking on the door. She came in and said she was worried about Nana because Nana told her she was just going to rest today and had went to her room to lay down. Pat was worried though because that had been 3-4 hours ago and she hadn't seen Nana since.
This is when I knew. And you might find that crazy because how could you know?
Nana never slept that long. She slept that long at MOST on a really GOOD night. Otherwise she would sleep an hour, maybe 2 and then at least get up to go to the bathroom or turn on a movie if she couldn't go back to sleep. 9 times out of 10 she would be awake through any hour of the night that I got up to go to the bathroom. We both had terrible sleeping habits and would often be in the kitchen at 3 am making breakfast...
So when Aunt Pat said she hadn't seen or heard from her in that long... I knew something wasn't right...
I sat on the bed for a second and just leaned back against the headboard while my Aunt walked back to the living room... I think she knew what I did but she didn't want to be the one to... find her.
I didn't want to get off that bed... but my fiance (who didn't realize what my Aunt and I did) said "You should go check on her. I would but she's probably in a nightgown and that might be kind of weird."
So I took a deep breath and went to her door.
- (Warning: GRAPHIC)
I opened the door slowly and the bed was empty... and I felt my heart stop.
In the floor I could see her hair fanned out around the foot board of the bed.
I walked over... not knowing what to expect, but just hoping like hell that maybe she just passed out...
Her lips were blue... but I didn't let that stop me from shaking her and calling to her and begging her to wake up. Her skin was cold and her body was stiff and ungiving, nothing like the warmth and love that I always felt from her.
-
I fell back on my ass and leaned against the dresser... so in shock that the tears hadn't even come yet. I couldn't breath. My chest felt like it was tight and my lungs wouldn't work anymore.
But I finally made myself get up and I called for my Great Aunt and fiance to call 911. My fiance called them and I heard him in her room telling the operator that he was trained in CPR but there was no point. She was gone. She had been gone for too long.
The first tear didnt roll down my cheek until I heard my Aunt screaming at Nana's body and crying for her to wake up. That's when I realized she was actually gone... it wasn't just a bad dream.
I got up to ask my fiance to call my mom and family and broke down in the hall while he stepped outside to do that. They wouldn't have been able to hear him over my Aunts painful sobbing. I sat in the hallway floor, staring at the 30+ pictures she had hung up all through the hallway...most of them were me. Her one and only grandchild. I remember crying silently and thinking "this can't be happening."
My fiance came back in after calling my mom and he took me to the living room and made me sit in my Nana's recliner. She had broken it a while back when my uncle came to visit and he sat in her lap and it flipped over with them in it. Nana had told me the story so many times, she didn't care about the chair being broken, she just thought it was a funny memory.
Minutes later... I don't really know how long because it was like my brain stopped perceiving time... the paramedics and the coroner came in. They asked us some questions after they examined her and the coroner pronounced her dead. I can't even remember what he asked other than about her medication and him telling us that she had been gone a while and there was nothing any of us could have done.
After this my mom came in and I called my Uncle and tried to tell him what had happened but couldn't get the words out so I handed the phone to my fiance who stepped outside and came back in later to tell me my Uncle had booked a flight and would be here in the morning.
After that more of my family showed up, my other Uncle and Great Aunt and then I called my Dad... who I didn't think was going to come for a second...
And finally everyone was there and everyone was crying and confused and asking what happened. And then Candy came in.
She ran straight to me and started screaming and bawling "Is Aunty dead!? She can't be dead! This isn't real!" And fell back in Nana's recliner and started kicking and screaming and crying like a 5 year old throwing a fit.
Now I know everyone reacts to things differently and grieves differently... but you could smell the alcohol on her and could tell she was out of her mind. And here she was throwing a fit and showing her ass while the rest of the family cried and talked amongst each other. I didn't really think about it or say anything at the time because I was so out of it, but my fiance brought it up later how just batshit crazy she seemed and how stupid she made herself look.
-
It was at this point that the coroner had us all in the kitchen and told us she had been gone for a while and that he believed she fell after she got up and the way she hit her head on the brick wall instantly killed her. He said she was gone before she hit the floor.
So she had gotten up, probably to go to the bathroom or something like usual... and just lost her balance, cracked her head on the wall... and was gone before she hit the ground.
-
After giving birth at 15 to my dad, and then having my younger uncle by surprise in her 30s. After fighting ulcers and stomach cancer and 2 knee replacements. After defeating her drug abuse problems... that's how she goes. Something so fucking simple!? Something that could happen so... easily...
Candy proceeded to tell the coroner that Nana had been put back on Neurontin at her last doctor visit. Candy and Mom both said the last time she was on that shit she had loss of speech and balance. Mom said she had been on it before and knew that it could mess with people really bad sometimes and that Nana had told her before about how bad it was last time they put her on it.
It's crazy how quickly drama ensued after that...
Our crazy landlord called my fiance and told him we needed to get our cats and the rest of our stuff out of "his house." Even though it had only been 2 days since we notified him that we were leaving. He threatened to throw our cats out to the neighbors dogs if we didn't have them out by morning because "his house wasn't a kennel." And that statement is what pissed me off the most because we hadn't even moved half of our stuff out of that house yet and here he was threatening us to pretty much move out over night, even though he legally had to give us 60 days.
So we had to go out there with my mom and dad and pack all of our stuff into their vehicles and move everything THAT NIGHT. We literally left to do that as the funeral home pulled up to get my Nana's body out of the house...
And my psychotic ass cousin decided for some reason that SHE should be the one to take Nana's purse. Candy literally grabbed Nana's purse and went and put it in her car before anyone even noticed and then told everyone that she had a key to the apartment and not to worry about it. (At this point I should mention that Candys meth head sons stuff was still in Nana's apartment, we had just started moving it the night before. Even though he had been in prison for several weeks at this point.)
The next day I got called to the funeral home with my dad and Uncles. They made the funeral arrangements with my input and said that everything should be left to me because I was the only grandkid and was so close to Nana.
The funeral was set to the next day, March 5, because one of my Uncles had to have surgery on the 7th and wanted to have it before then.
I held it together at the funeral pretty well, I only started crying when they played the song she used to sing to me all the time. I had smoked a blunt before going in Nana's honor and to make it a bit easier for me... Nana loved weed. She said it helped with her mental state as well as her arthritis and other physical pains. She always loved it more than any pills she ever took. Her and my Papaw used to smoke all the time before I was born. They gave it up to make sure they were good parents to my youngest uncle and great grandparents to me. And they were... despite the fact that I think they'd have been even cooler if they had kept smoking weed.
But the next day hell began all over again. My favorite Great Aunt called me and asked me to come to my Nana's apartment because Candy and her crackhead friend were over there packing up whatever they wanted. My youngest Uncle who had flown in said it looked like a couple of rats running in and out of the apartment...
My Aunt kept making little comments to Candy about how greedy she was acting and Candy kept getting bitchy with her and claimed all she was getting was her sons stuff. She tried to say she hadn't touched anything that was Nana's because she knew that was mine.
What bullshit. She had already packed up and taken all of Nana's collectable stuff that was on top of the cabinets in her kitchen, including an eagle set that Nana told me herself were hers and that she was pissed at my cousin because he kept stealing them off her cabinets and putting them in his room.
The next day my Aunt and I showed up to get some clothes for my other Aunt (Nana had like 5 sisters, so I have 5 great Aunts)... I had to climb through the window that Candy stupidly left open even though she deadbolted the door to keep me out...
While we were there Candy came flying up in her jeep (the neighbors had called her and told her we were there). And she barged into the apartment and immediately walks up to me in the hallway accusing me of stealing her sons TV and telling me I better bring it back... literally catching an attitude with me and accusing me of stealing something that WAS my Nanas. And I know the TV was my Nanas because my Uncle told us he and his wife bought it for her at Christmas!! But here this bitch is claiming she's not a thief or a liar... while lying and accusing me of stealing something that was NOT her sons. She was trying to get a free TV out of me because she thought I was too sweet and naive to tell her no and disagree with her... and she learned real quick that that wasn't happening.
She turned to my Aunt and started cussing her and telling her she had no business being in MY NANAS apartment that was left TO ME by my dad and uncles... telling my Aunt to leave her own sisters apartment.
I went off on the bitch, I had had enough. I told her my aunt wasn't going anywhere and that it was MY apartment and that SHE was the one who needed to get the fuck out. She finally left when my Aunt dialled the police.
So we went back to getting what we were there to get (some clothes that I had already been through the day before and was now taking my other Aunt.) When my Uncle pulled up. I had put Nanas plant in the trunk of my great aunts car and had walked out with a box in my hands. Candy jumped out and made a b-line for the trunk and tried to grab the plant so I rammed the box in to her and said "What the hell do you think you're doing!?" And she went off on me about how that was "her" plant and nana would have wanted her to have it and then... then she told me... that my Nana would be disappointed in me...
She's lucky I had a box in my hand or I really and truly would have beat the shit out of her in that moment... I rammed the box into her harder and shoved her back towards my Uncles car (who had just got out and was trying to get between us) and I started yelling "Take your drunk ass home you stupid fucking bitch!!"
And honestly... I know a lot of people will say that's childish and I shouldn't have done that... but she needed to hear it from me. She needed to hear it from someone she thought truly loved her and would never say something like that to her. She needed that truth shoved down her throat to get it through her head. She is a drunk no matter how much she denies it. She shook her head at me and got back in the car and my Uncles Wife took her home.
She posted all over Facebook after that about "karma" going to get someone. And then called me a couple times and left a voicemail crying about how she wanted to talk to me and wanted me to come see her. But never once said sorry... never once admitted that what she did was fucked up.
And the best part... I wanted to save this for the end.
Candy blamed me.
The day after Nana's funeral... she came in Nana's room while I was packing some things and crying into Nana's pillows and told me "Well if I had been here Aunty wouldn't be dead! I even talked to (methehead son) and he said if he had been here she wouldn't have been dead!'
The coroner said she was gone before she hit the floor and that there was nothing we could've done. Candy had been the one buying Nana alcohol and making her mixed drinks even when she knew Nana was put back on that medication, that the doctor specifically told her not to drink alcohol with.
But Candy blamed me.
And as far as her son goes... if he had found Nana dead he would have packed everything valuable in that house and ran. He was already being searched for and had several warrants in several states... no fucking way would he have helped her or called the police.
Fuck Candy and her son. Nana was done with both of them anyway... but Candy was so delusional she didn't even realize it. She didnt realize Nana wanted me there so she wouldn't HAVE to have rides from Candy and Candy couldn't use her anymore.
Candy has since then tried to tell the whole family that my Aunt and I were bullying her and being mean to her and accusing her of shit. And at this point... I don't give a fuck if they believe her. I'll cut them off just like I did her.
(Sorry for not giving a lot of names, I'm not really comfortable doing that on here.
Hope you enjoyed a story from my crazy, fucked up life.)
Ps: Crazy Candy also took flowers off her own mother's gravestone because it was my Aunt that shes pissed at that put them out there. So, my Aunt put flowers on her sisters headstone and Candy took them off because she's pissed at her right now... took flowers from her own mother like that did anything but make her look like the piece of shit she is.
1 note · View note
rinnnyxr · 3 years
Text
One rule: bold everything that applies to you, then count the answers.
Aries Gotta go fast Independence Participant, always Fuck you, don’t tell me what do to *brooding intensifies* Good sense of humor I ain’t neva scared “I’m not competitive but I’m gonna win” Assertive Going first Running yellow lights
People are drawn to you even tho you don’t invite them Feelings = action Impulsivity Creative Leader Competent “I thought you didn’t like me”-everyone Accidentally hurting people’s feelings Shares everything with partner What if the pope blasted cigs? Starting shit you don’t feel like finishing “I guess that was rude” No. 11/24
Taurus Treat yo’self Underappreciated at work Loyalty Great tastes in art&culture Spoiled (or wishing you were) Robe appreciation A vice (alcohol, weed, or comfort food) Homemaking/nesting Continuing to do something you don’t love just because you’re resistant to change Affection via touch Easy going Perfecting a wardrobe that is both comfy and flawless Having good ass eyebrows Highkey sensitive Stubborn af Not even taking your *own* advice Gossiping Lady in the street but a freak in the bed Creativity Spooning Commitment Stressing out over a change in someone’s tone of voice Finishing what you started Lots of venting lol  14/24
Gemini Unpopular opinion factory Secret&diverse intellectual landscape “Oh I got really into *miscellaneous hobby or topic* for a while” Intellectualizing or ignoring feelings Cleaning maybe once a year Look, a distraction! Thinking faster than you can talk Restless without hobbies Talking faster than you can think Reading four books at once Tons of energy Teaching others what you know Trivia machine Moodiness Knowing everything but also forgetting everything Existential crisis “Sorry I forgot to text you back” So many interests so little time Accidentally talking too loud Young at heart Pretty good public speaker Endless scrolling Shitposting Unpredictable sleep schedule 6/24
Cancer Connecting with women “Guess I’ll have to love you with my whole heart and soul” Vegetarianism/veganism Fear of rejection Surrounding yourself with soft blankets and  mood lighting Ferocious protector “I’m not going to dwell on it” *dwells on it* Takes child-rearing seriously Hardshell protecting soft ego Feeding sad friends Forecast: mood swings Heart of gold but still a badass Bad with boundaries Learning how to relax like it’s your job Lightweight drinker Yeah. Crying, ok? It’s not a big deal Mama trauma Food = comfort Nostalgia as a coping mechanism Identify built off memories Complaining Very emotionally intuitive of others Big fan of physical and emotional affection People telling you all their BS all the time 9/24
Leo Friendly Self-indulgence Never being able to tell if you’re the best or the worst People trying to compete with you lol Sensitive Decent at cheering people up Great hair Wardrobe swings between hot as hell and lazy af Interrupting Having a sense of honor Not doing something because you’re not good at it Talking too loud Finding dogs pretty relatable Creative talent Super supportive friend Enthusiasm Socializing like it’s your job&then needing to recharge Memes Priorities: eating and sleeping Boo hiss at rejection Looking good even when you feel like shit Drama Needing lots of love Loyal 6/24
Virgo Relating to Hermione Granger Gives great advice even when your own life is in shambles Flirting and running, an autobiography Petty Pretty damn intelligent Loving words/linguistics 8 hours of “studying” = 1 hour of real work Swings between clean and slobbish Indecision Splurging on food Mom friend A freak on the DL Peculiar eating habits Pretty good with words Good with pets and/or kids Known to schedule sex Multitasking af Cleaning as a coping mechanism “It me” Loves self-care but deprioritizes it 0 to hottie in 2 seconds flat Lowkey wood nymph All the receipts Bratty sub or service top 13/24
Libra If you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all Pls no fighting Good judge of character Leadership roles in friendships Takes up less emotional space for the well being of others Art adoration Real glo up wizards Nature adoration Hates boredom Wholesome Keep it cute Emotionally braced for betrayal Lowkey running from problems with people Falling in love with people’s hearts/minds Investing in your appearance Loves all things cute Always the mediator Trust issues Charming Staying up to date on culture Taking the high road Always putting your feelings aside for others Aesthetics Mom friend 12/24
Scorpio Growing up early Being a new person every few years Black/dark wardrobe Pain is cool Interest in psychology/criminology/sociology Privacy Sexual but not promiscuous All or nothing thinking Intelligent Loner/lonely Taking care of everyone Would kill or die for loved ones Protective as fuck Bloodhound for truth Deep Fascination with death/insanity/occultism Love-hate relationships “idk I’m just feeling numb rn” Jealous or possessive Trust issues Loyal as fuck Secretly soft Gets shit done Boundaries 13/24
Sagittarius Long ass bucket list Prefers to mind their own business Unbothered Nice enough that people always think you’re hitting on them Fear of missing out Optimism Honest and upfront Your shit is lowkey not together Plenty of friends Snobby enough to have good taste Flirting your way into something you can’t finish Storyteller or philosophical preacher “Here for a good time, not a long time” “…rude” Free spirit “Films” Distracted Smarter than you look I’m just speaking my truth! “I’m just inviting a few people” Falls in love with your mind, then your body Blows up the aux cord Hedonism phases Horniness gets you into some shit lol 9/24
Capricorn On your grind Discipline dgaf attitude Stoic in the streets, softie in the sheets Planning ahead, way ahead Always prepared (Un)healthy coping mechanisms Likes structure Prioritizing self-mastery Loyal protector of friends, babies, and animals Basically born an adult Dark humor People being mad about your tough love Old soul Major procrastinator Kind of a know-it-all on the DL Major sadness and madness People thanking you for your tough love People think you’re responsible “Why was I programmed to feel pain” meme Parenting your parents “Lock that in the trauma vault” Either a loner or a socialite Giving advice like it’s your job 8/24
Aquarius Me, an intellectual: Needing to do things your way Superiority complex Gossip Conspiracy theories Skepticism Not even having the energy to tell people how wrong they are Courteous/considerate People love you but you hate people Lonely Outsider syndrome Relating to cats a great deal Hates being told what to do or when to do it Not trusting someone/something that’s popular Being accused of being emotionless Insightful Feeling like the only rational person in a room Existential crisis Devil’s advocate just to get people to think Rationalizing tf out of your feelings Hates small talk Vices You’re entitled to your opinion no matter how wrong it is Interest in sociology, psychology, and politics 9/24
Pisces Empath Dramatic Poetry or music Lots of imagination, fluctuating identity Getting high on being outside  Alone time “Idk I’m just a lil sad rn idk” Spiritual af Helping people heal Existential dread Pets love you Mommy issues Good with kids Cathartic crying over art, movies, or nature Knowing how people feel before they do Feeling misunderstood/alone “Go with the flow” Encountering spirits On life: “I’m just here for the ride” Drugs Forgiving others but blaming yourself Kindness Sorry, I was dissociating Exploring nature 11/24
I am most like a: Taurus I am actually a: Virgo
-
Have you today? Watched an animation? Pet an animal? Been grocery shopping? Talked to a sibling? Seen a spider? Had a stomach ache? Seen someone attractive? Played a musical instrument? Eaten meat? Brushed your teeth?
Have you in the last week? Paid for something with a credit card? Kissed someone passionately? Told someone you miss them? Read a book? Been to the gym? Broken a fingernail? Collected the mail? Been to work? Used something with batteries? Eaten cheese?
Have you in the last month? Been to a doctor? Packed a suitcase? Tried a new food you’d never eaten before? Taken a bubble bath? Chewed gum? Played a card game? Seen a movie at the cinema? Been on an airplane? Blocked someone on Facebook or other social media?
Have you in the last six months? Been in a hospital for any reason? Written a handwritten letter? Been on a train? Gotten a haircut? Broken up with someone? Eaten out at a restaurant? Stayed in a hotel? Been to a concert?
Have you in the last year? Been to a funeral? Held a newborn baby? Been to an amusement park? Dyed your hair? Been to the dentist? Smoked a cigarette? Been to a cemetery? Bought something over $500?
-
Shy Girl 1. You haven’t been in a lot of relationships. 2. People have asked you to speak up because they couldn’t hear what you were saying. 3. You get nervous when meeting new people. 4. You’re not good at talking to guys you like. 5. You have trouble making new friends. 6. With a group of friends, you are usually the one who doesn’t add much to the conversation. Total: 4
The Girl With Low Self-Esteem 1. You are not happy with your appearance. 2. You don’t think you’re good enough for any guy. 3. You don’t bother trying to get a date because you know you don’t have a chance. 4. You think people are lying when they compliment you. 5. You are not satisfied with your weight. 6. Sometimes you wish you were someone else. Total: 4
The Girl Who Is Too Obsessive 1. You like to know where your boyfriend is at all times. 3. You tell your boyfriend what he is and isn’t allowed to do. 4. Sometimes you message/text/call your boyfriend too much. 5. You’ve followed a boyfriend before because you thought he was cheating. 6. You have trouble keeping a boyfriend. Total: 1
Flirty Girl 1. You are obsessed with cute guys. 2. You have cheated or would cheat on a boyfriend. 3. You can’t be happy with just one guy. 4. You have been known to flirt a lot. 5. What your boyfriend doesn’t know won’t hurt him. 6. A lot of guys think you’re attractive. Total: 1
Confused Girl 1. Your relationship status is complicated. 2. You don’t know what kind of guy you want. 3. You’re not good at making decisions. 4. You’ve thought you were in love but really weren’t. 5. You get confused easily. 6. You are always changing your mind. Total: 2
The Needy Girl 1. You’ve been badly hurt after a breakup. 2. You depend too much on others. 3.You would do anything for a boyfriend if it meant making him happy. 4. Your boyfriend is a huge priority. 5. You can’t stand being away from your boyfriend. 6. You would accept anyone who asked you out. Total: 1
Playgirl 1. You have been in a lot of relationships. 2. You have hooked up with someone just for sex. 3. Most of your relationships weren’t serious. 4. You don’t really care if you break someone’s heart. 5. You are good at getting guys. 6. You are not a virgin. Total: 2
The Future-Seeking Girl 1. You have thought you found “the one” before. 2. You have imagined what you and your boyfriend’s kids will look like. 3. You want to get married. 4. You want kids. 5. You’d like serious long-term relationships. 6. You and a boyfriend have talked about your future together. Total: 3
The Attention-Seeking Girl 1. You love attention. 2. You have faked an illness or made a story up to get someone’s attention. 3.You love receiving gifts more than giving them. 4. You love PDA. 5. You hate it when your boyfriend pays more attention to someone else rather than you. 6. You would date someone even if you didn’t like them. Total: 1
The Dominator 1. You hate it when you don’t get your way. 2. You wear the pants in your relationship. 3. Your boyfriend would do anything for you. 4. You are spoiled or someone has called you spoiled. 5. You love to be in control of things. 6.You are usually the one to plan the things you and your boyfriend do. Total: 3
You are: Shy girl and The Girl with Low Self-esteem
-
The computer [] I spend hours at a time on the computer. [] Without the computer, life would not be the same. [] I depend so much on my computer, if it broke down, I would cry. [] I have sooooo many pictures, files, games and other things saved on my computer. [] I have my own computer, and it is in my room. [] I buy stuff online frequently. [] When I have homework or other responsibilities, I tend to go on the computer instead. [] I have been late to something because I couldn’t get off the damn computer. [] My parents always say that they’re ‘going to take away my internet’ because they know that would be the ultimate punishment. Total: 7
Online chat/phone [] I have spent more than 6 hours talking on the phone. [] My phone is practically attached to my ear. [] I have gone to sleep extremely late because I was up talking on the phone. [] My cellphone bill is too high. [] If my MSN/AIM/Yahoo, etc. won’t allow me to sign in, I go crazy. [] I have over 200 online buddies. [] I met good friends, or even my best friend, online. [] I meet people in person that I met on the internet, complete strangers. [] I spend more time in chatrooms than I do with my own family/friends. [] I’d rather chat online than by phone, e-mail, or in person. Total: 5
Magazines/books [] I am ALWAYS reading something. [] I have 100+ magazines. [] I buy more than 3 magazines every month. [] I am subscribed to more than 3 magazines. [] I am soon gonna run out of space to put all my magazines! [] When my mom threatens that she’s gonna thrown out my magazines, I yell and tell her that I’m keeping them forever! [] Reading is way more fun than TV, computer, music, etc. [] Books are my life. I even wanna write a book. [] I spend more money on books/magazines than I do on clothes every month. Total: 0
Music [] Without music, my life would be miserable. [] It seems that I’m always humming or singing something. [] I like every type of music. [] My mp3 player/iPod has over 1000 songs. [] Not to mention the huge amount of songs I have on my computer. [] I have 200+ CD’s. [] Music cheers me up, makes me happy, relieves my stress..kinda like a best friend. [] Whatever mood I’m in, I can always listen to some music. [] I am/want to be in a band. [] I lost count of how many concerts I’ve been to. Total: 3
Movies [] I see at least 4 movies in theatres per month. [] I have so many DVDs, I don’t know where all of them are! [] I have a DVD player in my room, that I use often. [] I buy every movie that I really like. [] I keep all my movie stubs. [] I am always quoting things from movies. [] I can list 20 of my favourite movies right now. [] I watch the Oscars religiously. [] Movies are better than TV shows and music put together. [] I have over 5 favourite actors and over 5 favourite actresses. Total: 0
Make-up, hair & other girly things [] I straighten/curl/crimp my hair every day. [] I don’t remember how my own natural hair colour looks unless I look at old pictures. [] I have so much make-up, I don’t even use half of it. [] I have more than 5 eyeliners, 5 eyeshadow palettes and 5 lip glosses. [] I wear bows, hairbands, ribbons, etc. in my hair. [] I get my hair cut more than once every 3 months. [] I LOVE pink, anything pink is good! [] Flowers are awesome, as well as chocolate, jewelry and designer clothes. [] Accessories are actually more important to me than my clothes! [] I have more than 5 purses. Total: 5
Television [] I watch at least 5 shows per day. [] I spend more than 5 hours watching TV every day. [] I am addicted to some shows. [] If I miss an episode of my favourite show, I’ll freak out. [] I watch TV before I go to sleep. [] My alarm clock is my TV. [] I have seen every MTV show at least once. [] I have more than 500 channels on my TV. [] I use picture-in-picture. [] During commercials, I flip to other channels to watch something else. Total: 2
Sports [] I watch sports every day. [] I have been on a sports team more than 5 times. [] I play sports any chance I get. [] I am very athletic and fit. [] I work out all the time. [] I also walk, run, bike, or swim on a regular basis (as a way of exercising). [] I have a favourite basketball, soccer, baseball, etc. player as well as favourite teams. [] I like to be outside waaayy more than staying inside. [] I don’t mind getting sweaty or breaking a nail. [] No, I’m not girly. Total: 1
Food [] I am in love with chocolate. [] I will eat anything once. [] I always eat when I’m bored, stressed, watching TV, etc. [] I don’t care about my weight, all I wanna do is eat! [] I have tried Mexican, Italian, Chinese, Thai, Indian, as well as other kind of dishes. [] I don’t have many foods that I dislike. [] I like going to parties or other gatherings for the food! [] My friends say I’m  a pig when it comes to food. [] I cannot go to the mall without eating something at the food court. [] Snacking is my favourite pastime. Total: 6
Going out/friends [] I go to tons of parties every year. [] I have more friends than I can count. [] If someone invites me to go somewhere, I don’t care what mood I’m in, I’m going! [] Movie theatres, amusement parks and malls are among my favourite places. [] I hate staying in, I’d rather be out 24/7. [] The computer is cool, but partying is so much better! [] My friends and I do crazyyy things! [] I cannot pay attention in class because I’m always chatting with friends or thinking about what I’m gonna do that night. [] Work? Who has time for a job when you can hang out with your friends instead! Total: 2
Shopping/clothes [] I go shopping at least twice a week. [] I don’t care how many shoes or accessories I have, I always need more! [] There’s always more room in my closet for more clothes. [] I follow fashion/trends. [] I have 10 or more pairs of jeans. [] I have 30+ shoes. [] The mall = best place ever! [] I spend money like nothing else. [] I can’t just ‘hang’ at the mall, I have to buy something! [] I want a job at my favourite store so I can get discounts and go shopping after work! Total: 2
Bad things [] I steal/shoplift frequently. [] I smoke cigarettes every day. [] I smoke something other than cigarettes regularly. [] I have gone to school/work high or drunk. [] I get drunk when I’m with friends and then do stupid things. [] I have done sexual things under the influence. [] I curse ALL the time. [] I fight with people constantly. [] I have been arrested. [] I am banned from 2 or more places.
Total: 1
My addiction is: Music, then Magazines/Books and Shopping/Clothes. True that :P
1 note · View note
Text
Equus Interview with Alfie Allen from March 18, 2008
Theatre and Dance Previews
You are in: Beds Herts and Bucks > Entertainment > Theatre and Art > Theatre and Dance Previews > What's Alfie all about?!
Alfie Allen
What's Alfie all about?!
Katy Lewis
The brother of Lily and son of Keith, Alfie Allen tells us about his first big stage role ahead of his arrival in Milton Keynes.
Equus
Milton Keynes Theatre
17-22 March 2008
Mon – Sat: 7.30pm Wed & Sat: 2.30pm
Starring Simon Callow, Alfie Allen, Linda Thorson and Laura O’Toole.
Psychiatrist Martin Dysart (Simon Callow) is brought the most challenging case of his career by magistrate Hester Saloman. Alan Strang (Alfie Allen) seems like a normal 17-year-old. His life is routine and his family loving. However, Alan’s passion for horses and his first experience with a girl, stable-hand Jill has led him to behave in the most devastating way. Only Dysart seems able to grasp the answer to this psychological puzzle.
With actor father Keith, music star sister Lily and film producer mother Alison Owen (Shaun of the Dead), it may have been inevitable that Alfie Allen would pursue a career in the spotlight.
He is undoubtedly the latest rising star of the Allen family, having appeared alongside Keira Knightley in the blockbuster film Atonement and who can also be seen at the moment on the big screen in The Other Boleyn Girl.
Alongside that, he has just turned his attention to the stage and can currently be seen in his first major role, alongside Simon Callow in Peter Shaffer’s award winning play Equus, where he plays troubled teen Alan Strang, the role which also brought Daniel Radcliffe critical acclaim in the West End last year.
But Alfie first came to public attention when his sister wrote a song about him - "Derek". OK, it's "Alfie", where the lyrics included the lines:
Ooooo deary me My little brother's in his bedroom smoking weed I tell him he should get up cos it's nearly half past three He can't be bothered cos he's high on THC I ask him very nicely if he'd like a cup of tea I can't even see him cos the room is so smoky
And since then, his various expulsions from school in a turbulent early life have been well-documented. So, what’s Alfie really all about? Well, as it turns out, he seems to be a rather thoughtful young actor who is thoroughly enjoying his new role on the stage. I spoke to him during the Equus tour where he told me more.
How would you describe Equus?
Alfie: It’s a play about a boy’s love for horses and the problems that arise during it – and that’s it in a nutshell, a really short way of putting it. It kind of questions what is normality and who’s got the right to say what is sane and what is insane and why is this boy’s passion for horses so wrong. That’s kind of what Simon Callow’s part, Martin Dysart does. He questions it and gets pulled into it. He’s supposed to be analysing this boy’s behaviour but starts admiring it.
So Alan Strang, your character, has got a kind of condition, and Simon Callow’s role is to look at it and while he’s looking at it, he begins to question whether what Alan is doing is actually normal and everybody else is wrong?
Alfie: That’s completely what it’s a about, yes.
Alfie Allen in Equus
This is a subject that’s always interested me – who has got the right to say what’s normal or not?
Alfie: Completely! That’s what Peter (Shaffer – the playwright) said to me when I had a meeting with him. He said that what made him write the play was that he started thinking about things like, why do some men like blonde girls, what makes us like these things, what makes us who we are? It’s just a very interesting play that raises a lot of issues.
Alan Strang is described as a horse-crazed anguished creative, yet disturbed, teen. Is that how you’d describe him?
Alfie: Yes. In the play there’s a couple of lines where the mother says he’s a very gentle sensitive young boy, which he is, yet he still does these terrible, terrible crimes, which is what it’s kind of all about really.
And he’s under a psychiatrist, but the play is questioning what’s normal and what’s not, so in a sense, is the play having a pop at psychiatry as a profession?
Alfie: Maybe it was when it was written in 1973, but I think that now, the methods of psychiatry have changed so much that I don’t think it’s having a pop at psychiatry, I think it’s almost just having a pop at authority really. I say that, but it’s so broad really, and that’s why I think people should just come and see it because everyone will have their own opinion of it. It really covers so many issues. It’s a very interesting play and I think whoever comes to see it, whatever age they are, or sex they are, they can bring something different away from it.
It’s well known that Daniel Radcliffe played this part in the West End and there was a big hoo hah about him being naked. Obviously you are doing that too – how do you prepare for something like that?
Alfie: You just do it really. I went to the gym a lot to keep myself in shape, not really to make myself look good but to keep healthy because it’s such a demanding part. But in terms of the nudity, funnily enough, it was harder doing it in the rehearsal rooms than on the stage for the first time. Because when you’re doing it in front of 900 people you don’t know, it’s easier than doing it in front of 20 people that you do know. But the first time you do it, you just do it.
You’ve done quite a few films recently but this is your first stage role, was that daunting?
Alfie: It was at first but I’ve learnt so much going along. I thought theatre would be a little but more difficult, but to be honest I don’t think you can even compare the two, I think they’re so different. Obviously in theatre you work chronologically so you kind of know where your emotions are supposed to be and you’re always on top of things, and as an actor you always know what’s coming next.
I haven’t played a huge role like this in TV and film but I think I can basically take what I’ve learned in doing theatre and apply it to TV and film. In those, I could be doing my most important scene on the first day of filming and then go back to the beginning the next day, so you need to know where your emotions are.
Theatre seemed more difficult at first, but once I got into it, you kind of go into autopilot on the stage, and always know where you are supposed to be.
As you say, it’s a very demanding role. Have you found it quite easy to relate to the character?
Alfie: Yes, but I think any actor of my age would find something in this play to relate to. I think that’s how any actor would make their performance convincing, by bringing an element of themselves into the character.
You can say to actors that you’ve got to be the character and really get into it but you have to make it realistic by bringing an element of yourself into it.
I saw a psychiatrist when I was younger because I had ADHD and I had some problems with authority, so I guess I can kind of relate to that in a way. I know what it’s liked to be probed and to be asked questions where people are looking for a certain answer, and are trying to pull something out of your answer. So, in terms of that I knew what it was like to see a psychiatrist, but in terms of the love for horses it was kind of hard to relate to.
During rehearsals I went to a stable up in Wimbledon, and I got to groom horses – and there’s a very important part in the play where I have to groom a horse – and I definitely saw the sensual side of it. It was strange being up close and personal to horses like that but I could kind of see what Peter was thinking when he wrote the play, and about why Alan was like this. I could see where his love for horses came from.
I read a quote from you that said you were born angry! Do say if you didn’t say it, but it’s been well-documented that you’ve been expelled from various schools so are you an anguished creative too?
Alfie: Well, I’m just like any person really, if you are pushed too far you can crack, and get angry but I don’t think I said I was born angry!
Alfie Allen in Equus
It’s also well-known that you come from a family of performers, so was it inevitable that you would act? Were you encouraged or discouraged from performing?
Alfie: Neither, I always wanted to do it. Obviously I saw dad, but I didn’t see him in a film or something and say ‘oh wow that’s what dad does, I want to do that’. It was more seeing him with his friends and with other people and seeing how he made people laugh and suddenly just create a character out of thin air. I think that’s what made me want to be an actor.
It took me a while to realise that’s what dad does for a living, but even at school I was a bit of a class clown, and did impersonations of people and was good at drama – I did GCSE. I always knew I wanted to be an actor, it wasn’t like mum or dad encouraged or discouraged me. To be honest my dad told me when I started acting that 95 per cent of it was about rejection and I soon discovered that by going to auditions and not getting jobs for about three or four years, that was kind of my drama school really. I was going to auditions and being turned away the whole time, but then it started to go well for me.
Harry Enfield was also a kind of step-father to you. Did he have an influence on you do you think?
Alfie: Probably yes. He was a very, very nice person and a very funny guy. Me and my friend went out to dinner with him recently and my friend said he can see a lot of his humour in me so he must have had an influence in some way. As a child I think that any kind of male living in the house would have an influence on you.
The media have put you and your sister in a sort of new cool Britannia set of young up and coming stars – how do you feel about that? Do you think you are?!
Alfie: Well – if people want to call me that great! [laughs] But I don’t really pay attention to all that to be honest, I just get on with the job that I’m doing. I just live in the present I guess and don’t really read the papers.
Obviously you do get press attention – how do you deal with that?
Alfie: I just ignore it! Some friends call me up now and again and say ‘have you seen what they read about you in the paper’ and I say ‘no I didn’t see it and I don’t want to see it’! I just get on with it. I’m an actor - I act - I don’t want to be a celebrity.
Have you read really ridiculous things about yourself that just aren’t true?
Alfie: No – I don’t read much of it but some people tell me some funny things. I know that after my first night in Equus someone put the heading ‘Willy Allen’, which I thought was hilarious! But other than that I don’t really pay attention to it.
What’s next for you? Or do you just play it by ear?
Alfie: I have an idea of what I’m doing after this but at the moment I just want to concentrate on this and see what happens. I really do live by the motto that I just want to live in the present. I don’t really like to plan things too much. I’m quite un-organised to be honest so I just take things as they come.
Do you want to do more stage work?
Alfie: Definitely more stage work! I would love to do more stage, it’s very stimulating, and it’s exhilarating. But people have asked me what would you rather do, film, TV or theatre but I don’t think you can compare them. Film and TV are probably quite similar but theatre is just a thing on its own. It’s a complete learning curve which is fantastic, I’m enjoying every second of it.
Did you like the song that Lily wrote about you?
Alfie: I loved it!
Was it true?
Alfie: At a point it was yes! That was when I was much younger so I’ve grown out of it now!
last updated: 18/03/2008 at 10:25 created: 18/03/2008
source: http://www.bbc.co.uk/threecounties/content/articles/2008/03/18/alfie_allen_equus_feature.shtml
13 notes · View notes
salmon404 · 6 years
Text
I’m gonna regret posting this but uh have a story
(it doesn’t really have a name so if you think of a name plz plzplz tell me)
Chapter 1
: Long Lost Somethings
Baboom Baboom Baboom The bass was going insane in this song, causing me to bounce around even more than I would normally do. A young man I was dancing with accidentally touched my boob, normally I’d let it slide but he lingered a little too long. So I slapped his hand playfully and gave him a smirk. I turned to another boy and ground my hips against him whilst drinking from my wonderful bottle. From under the haze of vodka I heard the boy from my Last dance call me a slut. Normally I’d let that slide As well, but, I was under the influence so… I beat the shit out of him. I awoke On a couch Not my own, It was probably Some guys, I looked Around and saw I was Surprisingly still at the party. God, I was wasted, I prodded My face remembering the fight, It Appeared I only had a small black eye People were still dancing, I looked around and Remembered that this was my party, and this couch Was mine but covered in everyone's jackets. I saw on The couch across from me there was the boy I beat up, he Was not much older than me, probably a senior, I got him Good… One of his fingers was at an awkward angle… cringing I turned away from the carnage. I tried to sit up but Sera pushed me down. “You got really drunk Svea…” “Lemme up, and I’m sure you know by now, that’s not my name.” “What isn’t? Svea.” Cringing again as she said the name, I turned away. “Please…” Pity filled Sera’s eyes. “I’m not her anymore, so I don’t need you to say her name, nor do I need your GOD DAMN PITY!” I shoved away the nausea and Sera, and got up. I grabbed a bottle from a nearby counter “I think it's time you leave my party, Fina.” I told her looking over my shoulder slightly but not at her. It was a low blow at what her mum used to call her, but at least she knew her mum had loved her. “Please stop drinking Sam.” Then Serafina walked out the door. Normally I would regret what I said and run after her. There was a lot of stuff I normally did that I didn’t do anymore.
I walked away even though it hurt, She had been drunker than I had ever seen her, her accent so thick I could barely understand her words even without her slurring. Svea truly wasn’t the same person as she used to be, the person I climbed up on top of those bleachers with. I walked through the bushes to the house next door. We were no longer what we were, we weren’t even acquaintances. I didn’t know what we were before, but now… I didn’t know her at all. “How was it?” Myla asked, we had been having a sleepover before the Bjornar party started. “I saw an old friend,” Myla was the only friend I had since coming back from Britain. “You make it sound as if that's a bad thing.” “Yeh…” “What. What happened? Okay, something happened.” “Naw, I’m fine, Just really really really stressed.” I plopped down on the side of the bean bag chair Myla was using. Myla shoved me off so I laid on the floor. And gazed at the pocked ceiling. “Don’t worry, we can figure it out!” “She isn’t t' same person as before.” I moaned dejectedly. “Who was it?” I hesitated but decided to tell her. “ It was… ugh, it was Sam.” “Oh..” I couldn’t understand the look on her face, how did she know who Sam was, I mean she was always pretty popular, but Myla was a new student who knew the last name of maybe a total of ten kids. “Yeh…” “Well, you did miss a lot of st-” “Yeah! I see that,” I suddenly snapped, who was Myla to know anythin' about Jo! She didn’t know her! “Sorry, sorry, I’m just saying that I think you should find out about what you missed before trying to be her friend again.” “How do you know I want t' know her again? Say I did though, want to be her friend again, I should find everythin' out from her. N' sorry I snapped, I’m just really stressed. ” It was hard to stay angry when everything was this sad. “It’s ok, and I can tell by the way you said really three times. So what I was saying is that she will not trust you anytime soon, if you did want to be her friend again. Shit happened, I heard she's basically an orphan now. She drinks. Hangs out with like all the bad people. She’s got a drug addict as a best friend. You’ve seen her.” She made a hand gesture, that I was pretty sure meant I have a ton of other gossip about her, but I’m guessing you don’t really wanna hear it now, but don’t worry I will find someway to gossip with you soon, Damn, how can someone convey a whole compound sentence with just their hands? Without using ASL of course. But I hadn’t heard about any of this “What happened? And how d' ye know this about her? Last I checked you never talked to Sam.” “Honestly, everyone’s heard the rumors about her, even the new kids like me. Also we have band together!” She smiled cheekily, I sighed. I originally wanted to avoid her when I came back. But she was a black hole. Also it’s kinda hard to avoid her when we have nearly all our classes together, pass each other all the time in the halls, and live next door. “Ehhhh…” I moaned “...Maybe I should’ve just stayed in Britain.” “Then you wouldn’t of met me! Silly!” I laughed and we went to our sleeping bags. It was hard not t' be optimistic with Myla, but tears still pricked my eyes as I listened to the bass thumping through our neighbourhood... I didn’t know what to do. I had spent two whole years trying to forget about Svea, Sam. And now here I was, already basically stalking her and trying to figure out how to get her to like me again. I deserved her hatred though, I abandoned her. The splotchy purple designs around my room did nothing to calm me, and I drifted off to a fitful sleep.
I hate her I’m just trying To console Leah but I keep seeing Sera staring At me. I purposely ignore her And look down at the shit lunch the School hands out. Too stressed I throw Away my lunch and focus on Leah She’s having a bad day today, she Doesn’t touch her food and I Feel scared. I hate myself More than I hate Sera. I can’t even help My best friend. Leah starts to shake For seemingly no reason, I look around and see A teacher with dark Hair, it wasn’t Her dad who’s walking by, But Leah is terrified of him anyway. Her PTSD taking more control of her, I want to hug her and comfort her, rather than worsen it I Gingerly touch her hand and draw her attention. She looks at me and I motioned my head towards The bathroom across the hall. Leah nods and I get Up, thinking that I was going over to her Sera giddily Hit Myla and Myla gestured for us to come over as well. I turned away, not even being able to look at Sera for More than a moment. I thought I was over her, I guess I was wrong, I need to work on myself More, I don’t have time for feelings. The first time I had seen her in two years had been when she barreled into me after turning a corner. I had instantly tried to help her before realizing who it was. She never even hinted she was coming back from Britain, I guess she didn’t have my contacts anymore, but still. We realized who the other person was at the same time as I handed her her notebooks, we stared at each other for what seemed like forever, everything was still around us. Then in a flash I got up and ran.
I got up, I thought Svea had been heading over to me but instead she went to the bathroom. I knew I shouldn't follow her, but I just couldn’t stay here anymore, I needed to talk to her. I felt Myla try to pull me back down but it was too late I was already getting up. I could smell the smoke before I even got in the bathroom, someone was smoking some major shit. I prayed that it wasn’t Svea. I walked in and saw a sallow faced kid and Svea standing on the toilets passing a blunt over the stall walls, when they heard me they both ducked. “You smoke now, too, Sam?”I put as much emphasis on Sam as I could, I immediately regretted doin' that, I was better than that, but Svea just caused my brain t' go haywire. “Fan ni Sera.” “Vad hände?” “I see you learned some Swedish, ya kuk.” “Just that, I googled it t' period before because I wanted t' ask ye in yer own language.” “Pronunciation sucks.” “I’ll just go, it was a mistake for me t' come in here. it’s clear you don’t care about me…” “Helvete Fin, you are the one who doesn’t care!” The door to her stall opened up and Svea was fuming. “You left ME!” Her face crumpled as she realized she said the thing she had been trying so hard not to say. A whimper sounded from the other stall and Svea looked down and saw that she still had the blunt. Glaring at me, Svea knocked on Leah’s door, she waited a bit while glaring even harder at me. The door opened and Svea gave the weed to Leah before stepping into the stall and closing the door behind her. “Det ar dags att lamna.” “I’m guessin' you just asked me t' leave?” I got no response. “I missed you Sam.” I sort-of whispered, but I knew she heard. I stood there a little too long. I finally walked out of the bathroom only to run straight into Myla. “JESUS, SERA! You can’t run off like that! You need to control yourself! Come with me.” Myla grabbed my hand “ We are going to make a plan.” Myla dragged me into the empty swimming pool room thing, and then into the locker room. She still didn’t think this was enough and went to the storage room where they store… stuff… sorry I didn’t inspect the room from floor to ceiling, I was busy trying t' figure out what Myla was doing. “You're gay.” She didn’t ask, she just said it matter of factly, like that wasn’t my whole life. I had tried to hide it but clearly not well. “What? No...“ I said too sheepishly “Don’t try to deny it. I know it. And I know that you and Sam used to be more than friends, don’t ask me how I know that you are gay, I just have a really good gaydar for some reason. “But how did you know about me and Sam?” It still felt weird to say Sam. “I’ve seen you staring at that short haired, high cheek boned goddess all day. You also left our slumber party to go to her party and then were sad that you saw her.” Svea was some kind of Nordic Goddess, she was even more beautiful than when I left, she had grown into her little body and looked more like a small viking finally, instead of just a really short blond haired chick. I was surprised to see she had cut her hair into a boys style and bleached it when I first saw her, but it looked fantabuloso on her. I still had my black bob and green eyes, my body was still fairly lanky. She looked so much hotter than me. “Frick.” "Yep, I got you good girly.” “How are you ok with me bein' a lesbian when we live this far down south?” “Not everyone down here is religious and backward.” “Just most…” I said half joking. “And my family is originally from Hawai'i, and they never really had an opinion on gays.” “So what was it that ye wanted t' plan or whatever.” “Well it's clear that the both of you are still soulmates so I want you to woo her back.” “But what if she hasn’t come out?” “I mean she never specifically said it, but I’m sure no one would be surprised.” “What about t' incident?” I remembered how Myla had heard tons of rumors about Sam already, had what we had done gotten out to everyone? “What incident? I only moved here a year ago so I haven’t heard about any ‘incident’.” She used air quotes when she said incident. “ That's good, that means that it didn’t spread everywhere.” I breathed a sigh of relief and gagged as I smelled the rancid jerseys probably growing mold in the back of the room. “But what is this incident? “ When we were freshmen, fourteen year olds. We kissed on top of t' gym bleachers once and we got caught. It was my first kiss with a girl, same with Sam. T' gym teacher screamed at us about bein' sinners. He shouted about us bein' faggots and dykes and whores, that we were goin' t' hell and would burn there for eternity, we were mistakes and God hated us. “I ran away and convinced my parents t' take us back t' London, we were already going to be moving back at t' end of the school year, but I convinced them t' do it right then. I was too scared t' even think about what would happen t' us. We lived there for two years before comin' back here again this year. “I didn’t even think about Sve-Sam until we were on t' plane, on our way t' Britain. I abandoned her.” I slipped on her name almost calling her Svea, it didn’t matter t' Myla but I felt I should respect her wishes “When I got back she was like this and I don’t know what t' do, I don’t know what happened t' her. I almost didn’t recognize her in t' halls, especially when she goes by a different name.” “fuck.” “Yeah.” We sat there for awhile just staring at the musty old storage room around us and the old swimsuits before eventually starting our plan of wooing Svea back.
I was Walking down The hall like normal Heading to class again, Leah was to my left, I noticed Someone else next to me, I turned Slightly and saw beautiful Raven hair I walked a little faster I did not want to talk to her Now or ever, she didn’t get it. I Saw that she also picked up speed So I slowed down, she also did. “Ok, what do you want?” “To talk to you.” “I don’t want to.” “Please? We haven’t talked in two years Sam.” “Oh, and that's My fault?” “No.” I pulled at my hair and rushed away from her and waited At the next class for Leah. I hate her.
“Plan doesn’t work, time t' give up.” I said to Myla, eye-fockin' Sam from across the lunchroom. “ Stalking her in the halls once doesn’t count as a try.” “Yeah it does! I did a lot of hard work!” “You walked next to her for two minutes and then asked to talk, then she turned you down and you left. Hmmm, yes, I see, you just won over her heart.” “Grr.” “ Just say hi, give her a friendly wave. Start out platonic and work from there if she ever bothers to talk to you, and that's how it should be, her talking to you. Please don’t go up to her and start a heavy conversation again.” “I technically never really had a conversation with her.” I said with a smile “Or try to.” Myla responded not moving an inch (figuratively, we were walking). ”Also don’t go crazy, you are really awkward around her. Don’t go overboard on a simple wave.” “Come on, have some faith in me!” “Ok, she is looking over right now, just smile at her.” I tossed a smile over t' Sam but Myla smacked me in the back of the head. “You look horrendous! What kinda smile is that?” I rubbed my neck and glared at Myla. She didn’t have to do it so hard. Myla gestured back at Sam again who was holding back laughter. I made a face at Sam and she quickly tried to look serious. But we both ended up laughing. It seemed like a great start but then I saw the druggie whisper something to Sam and she immediately stood up and carried both of their stuff as they left the lunchroom. The next days were mainly the same, sometimes Sam never seemed to see me, or anyone besides the druggie. Just staring, into the void, the blue in her eyes was silent and screaming at the same time. It hurt me to see. On other days she just glared at me. But slowly the days where she smiled back, however meekly, started t' outnumber the glares. I still didn’t know what t' do about the void though, no matter how much progress I had with the glares, she was still fifty-fifty with the darkness. It was my fault that she was like this, we shouldn’t have kissed, I shouldn’t have left her to herself, to the world. She faced it by herself and lived, she did not overcome it though, and it was all my fault. We should have faced it together, but instead I left her. I abandoned her.
“I’m going to regret this aren’t I?” “OMGOMG! No! Of course not! Sit, sit!” “Sera, you need to stop. I’m Myla by the way.” I shook Myla’s hand “Sam, but you probably’ve heard About me before…” I trailed off, I knew I had a reputation. “I’ve missed you so much!” the normally really still Sera Bounced a little in her seat for some reason, “She’s Been waiting for this for a while.” Myla explained “Hey! Have not! I just finally got my friend t' Sit next t' me at lunch!” Sera tried to say. “Exactly Sera.” Sera frowned and looked Down at her lunch “What happened to you Sera, I was always the hyper one. You look like You downed two coffees!” I joked even though it Hurt that she wasn’t the same little girl hiding in a corner with A book. “Speak for yerself! I barely recognize ye!” I smiled with Sera even though it was the truth. I didn’t even recognize myself in the mirror. “How’s yer family doin'?” Myla kicked Sera under the table and she immediately tried to take it back, but my face still crumpled and fell for a moment, I recovered as fast as I could, Feelings are for the weak. I interrupted Sera before she could stumble around for five minutes trying to think of something to say, I was always the talker and when I was quiet, she tried to Be the talker but she would always fuck Up just like this. “Ma and Papa are in Sweden right now.” I weakly smiled and forced myself to make it look real. I hurt again as I realized I had Become quite good at this. “Leah decided to stay Home today.” “That’s yer Friend wh-that's the Friend you normally sit With right?.” Sera almost said The one who smokes. I used to get mad Whenever someone said anything like that but By now both Leah and I had gotten used to it. “Yeah she is, she always sits next to me, And yes she does marijuana.”
3 notes · View notes
dressedupkiss · 3 years
Text
21 days
Until March! Then 20 days til spring! Then two weeks til my birthday!
Then it will be so warm out and beautiful and spring will smell so nice and the sun will be so comforting and energizing, the moonlight at night will be so emotional, the stars in the sky will invite me to love them and celebrate...
Summertime will be a time for lovers and I will spend lots of time with Joel and George and I will make new stoner buddies and have lots of friends!! I will meet new people and make true connections with my newfound confidence and comfort in myself.
I don’t care about Laura anymore, she is just not kind to me and I don’t deserve to love someone who doesn’t respect or appreciate me.
I’m feeling good and ready for the new warm weather, just another month and a half and the sun will start to melt the snow and everything will be so beautiful!!
Lately it has been insanely cold outside like -30 every day and I hope there is a warm day soon.
I’m gonna do laundry at dads tomorrow and get groceries with him sometime this week, that will save me lots of money for food this month. It’s the 8th today I thought it was later in the month for some reason.
Only 16 more days until I get paid again! And this time I will have $484 all to myself for the month I am so excited to be able to spend my money more. I’m gonna get so many cool shirts for summer. I’ve been really frugal the past year because I had to pay off my MasterCard but now I did pay it off so I’m Rollin in my extra dough!!
I don’t have free wifi anymore because my neighbour cut everyone off or it’s just needs to be fixed like he said seemingly lying. Oh well. Soon enough I’ll have wifi from a different neighbour or something ....
My weed is coming on Wednesday, tomorrow is Tuesday, it’s about nearing 7pm today. Joel’s bday is in less than 10 days, I gotta draw them a pic for it. They haven’t lived in a place for themselves in like 3 months, they kept all their $1500 to themselves each month and they’re still out of money. They’re the worst at saving especially when they need to be saving for a vehicle. I hope they get a car and a place soon. It would suck to be summertime and they’re still not in a place of their own.
Riff raff has community telepathy with me, three loco I would see each of them every once in a while on YouTube or on tv shows or movies and I enjoyed all 3 and then I see they’re getting all fucked up on my intense vibes. I had such intense emotions and mental activity man I was singing good songs and feeling so much passion. Very exhausting though. Thought of so many things. Saw space. I dunno why everything gotta be a rollercoaster of rainbow magic but at least I’m ok still. I wish I didn’t have to be forced medication though.
My guts are full of food and I look big, I’m definitely ready to go walking and burn off these extra pounds. Still gotta wait 2 months though.
Unless there is a warm day again before spring. Then I will go walking. I’m glad it didn’t snow too much this year, a lot in the beginning but not too bad the rest of the winter. Has been real cold but not more snow.
I need to connect to nature more. Good thing I have marijuana. I’ve been doing mudras with my fingers lately in the morning sun and it feels really good. I was thinking of how eastern medicine is like bells and smoke and stuff and I learned how to do that by their example. I feel very eastern medicine-y and eastern worldly, I need a red covering with beautiful intricate patterns and brass bells 🔔
🔔
Looks like a lamp
I’ve only been able to make friends with male meth heads in the last couple years
I don’t really get close to them but there is an aspect of friendship there
Nameless kid, Lionel, and Derek.
Two native guys one white guy
Lionel reminds me of my white friend Adam tho
And He is super fit and strong
Oh there’s one more guy,
Andy
He’s native too and strong and fit
So that’s 4 meth heads drug addicts dudes that are nice ish to me and chill with me randomly
I guess that’s who I resonate with because I accept everyone for a beautiful creature and maybe these guys needed some extra acceptance because it must be tough living as a guy sometimes when everyone expects you to work super hard and do everything for everyone
Drug addiction must keep them busy with something rewarding and it must be from pain
So I go out in the world and meet drug addcts and they’re fine and nice and interesting for the while we hang out
At least that’s an interesting pattern
It’s not like I keep making friends with lonely fat girls lol I’d prefer the adrenaline jazz of a muscular addict than a sopping tubby chick
Fat girls just always suffocate me with their loneliness and they have a thing for me beinnamed Jacey and having long brown hair like jebus kristo
At least the addict guy accepts me when I tell him I’m gay; most of them stopped trying to get with me after I explained I am like a dude
I hate City shit and I hate university students and I hate cops and I hate dry lives
I like dreaming soldier First Nations rainbow tribe 🌈 heroes 🌟
And all the dead people who truly love their life and life altogether
My dead bro zack and his dreams for me are super appreciated and awesome
I like artists and dreamers and drifters and bewilderers and magical folk who do real magic
Magic is real more than dry life
I bring magic to the world
I believe in magic
Thank you my life!!
0 notes
treebitchevan1 · 7 years
Text
I Promise {Connor Murphy imagine}
wooo first requested fic! This one is pretty heavy IMO so read at your own risk. ok i’ve never smoked/drank before so cut me a little slack if i messed up in that department. any who, requests are always open, and i’m pretty much okay with writing anything! any questions, just ask me. enjoy!
Warnings:Swearing, Drugs, ALCOHOL,Divorce/fighting parents
word count: 1423
Y/n had always been that girl. The girl that had the seemingly perfect life. She did, at one point. Have what you’d call the perfect life. Y/n had it all. Good grades, a solid group of friends, a loving boyfriend, a decently large house, you get the idea. Everyone idolized Y/n’s life. It was practically picture perfect. That’s what she wanted her peers to think. Y/n’s real life consisted of dealing with the stress of keeping her 4.0 average. The anxiety that seeps through her whenever she talks to someone. Having to listen to her parent’s marriage crumble little by little, every day. Having to constantly put on this mask to make sure no one can see how hurt she is inside.
Y/n slammed her locker shut, only to be met with the eyes of her boyfriend, Connor Murphy. Yes, Connor Murphy: the school freak show. Yes, Connor Murphy: the kid who hurled a printer at his teacher in 2nd grade. Yes, that Connor. Y/n had gone through that conversation thousand of times. Frankly, she got tired of it. To her, Connor wasn’t a freak, he was a beautiful soul that deserved the world.
“You look upset” Connor stated, looking worried.
“I’m fine, i promise okay? You don’t need to worry about me.” Y/n  replied, pulling the tall boy down for a quick peck.
    Y/n had never told anyone about her home life, not even Connor. He didn’t need to worry about her, he had enough on his plate already.
    As the two ventured home, Connor spoke up. “You’d tell me if something was bothering you, right?” Y/n sighed. “Yes, i swear Connor, please don’t worry about me.” “I just want you to be okay” Connor stopped walked, tugging Y/n to a stop. “Connor, I-” “Why don’t you come over tonight and we’ll de-stress a little, huh?” Connor suggested, tracing circles into Y/n’s hands.
“By de-stress you mean…”
    “It means you’ll just have to trust me, Y/n”
    De-stressing for Connor is getting completely shitfaced off of whatever he could find in Larry’s liquor cabinet, and getting so high he can barely remember his name.
So there Y/n sat, cradling a bottle of vodka, and giggling up a storm.
    “C-Con, I loOove you SO MUCH. Did you know that? SO MUCH” Y/n proclaimed, crawling over to her insanely high boyfriend, who just laughed and roped his arm around her.
This continued every weekend, Y/n would head to Connor’s house, get plastered, and call it a night. Y/n started to “let loose” as her boyfriend would say, and her grades started showing it.
    “Y/n?” Your mother called. “Care to explain why you went from straight As last month to… To this bullshit?” She shoved her tablet in Y/n’s face, showing her that she was pulling Cs in every class. Y/n shoved the tablet away. “Jesus Christ, Can you lighten up a little? It’s not like i’m failing. It’ll be fine.” Y/n scoffed, running back to her room. She slammed the door shut, lunging toward a drawer in her nightstand, and pulled out a baggie of weed, rolling paper, and a lighter Connor had given her over the past few months. Y/n heard her father start yelling, followed by her mother shortly after. Her parents had been arguing over every single thing for as long as she could remember Sometimes they’d fight over the dumbest things, i.e. what they were having for dinner or who didn’t clean up what. Other times, the times Y/n would drown out with alcohol, they’d fight over whether or not they’d have enough money to sustain living their current lifestyle. Or whether Mom was screwing the neighbors again. This night in particular though, was the worst of all. No matter how much Y/n smoked, or how much she drank, she couldn’t phase out her parents. It was nearly 2 hours of back and forth between Y/n’s parents, When she heard her dad let out one more “Fuck You” followed by a door slamming.
    The following week Y/n’s mother broke the news. Her parent’s were getting divorced. She wasn’t shocked, she knew it was coming. Y/n continued to block everything out, which ultimately led her to start blocking the important people in her life out.
    It had been 3 weeks since Y/n had found out about her parent’s incoming divorce, yet she hadn’t told a soul. She became distant from her friends, making snappy remarks every time they’d ask what’s wrong. Y/n had even started to distance herself from the one person who’d been trying to help the entire time. Connor.
    “Y/n, maybe we should ease up on the alcohol, eh?” Connor stated, growing annoyed at his girlfriend’s once again drunken state. Y/n rolled her eyes. “Not nearly drunk enough to deal with your shit right now, Connor.” Y/n mumbled, taking another swig of whatever she had in her hand. “I don’t know what the fuck is up with you, but i’d really appreciate it if my own fucking girlfriend would tell me what’s going on. That was the moment Y/n snapped. “You know what Connor, Go fuck yourself. You’re the one who told me i needed to “let loose” and now you’re getting pissed at me because i am? Fuck you. I don’t need this.” Y/n sneered, slamming Connor’s door.  
    Y/n ignored Connor’s texted for a week until he stopped messaging her. Y/n was officially on her own now. She had completely isolated herself from everyone, and she only got worse after her feud with Connor. She pitied herself. Over the course of her downfall, She managed to snag a fake I.D., since she wanted to experience the club scene. What Y/n didn’t realize is that clubbing isn’t exactly a fun activity to do alone.
    So there she sat. outside of the busy club, not knowing what to do. Y/n played back Her and Connor’s argument over and over again in her head. She absolutely hated herself for being so selfish and cold to the one person who cared about the person behind the facade. Y/n broke down. She couldn’t believe she let herself stoop this low. Y/n sniffled through her sobs and texted Connor her location.
    Connor hesitated, before slamming the gas, desperately trying to find Y/n”
She’s passed out, propped up by the walls of whatever dingy club she was at. Connor sighed, picked her up and placing her in the front seat of his car.
    Y/n awoke, laying in Connor’s lap. She looked up at him and he head shot up, not even caring about the overwhelming pain from her hangover. “Before you start apologizing, i want to. I did this. I convinced you that you needed to loosen up. So i made you drink. I made you smoke. I made you think it was doing you good and i turned you into this monster that ruined your life. I-I’m so fucking sorry, Y/n, You have every right to hate me I just-I wanted to know what was wrong, I just wanted to help, You don’t deserve to end up fucked up, I-I I am so sorry.” Connor had tears streaming down his face. Y/n looks at him, and her heart shatters. She did this. She made him feel this way. “Connor-I-i’m-I’m sorry, i shouldn’t have snapped at you, i shouldn’t have been so fucking cold towards you. You’re my everything and you don’t deserve to treated that way, I-fuck, I love you.” Y/n couldn’t control what she was saying, and in that moment, she knew she needed to open up. “Connor, I only did it to relieve stress. I never told you how fucked my life came out. My grades? Fucked. My friends? They all hate me now. My parents are getting a fucking divorce and i never told anyone. I kept everything in because i didn’t want people to worry about me. People think I have this perfect life, like i’m fucking Barbie or some shit. I’m not. My life is so fucked. I’m sorry i never told you anything I-I’m sorry, fuck, i ruined everything” Y/n confessed, sobbing into Connor’s arm. “Hey, Hey, It’ll be okay, i’m here now, and i’m not going anywhere.” Connor held Y/n close, rubbing circling on her back.
“Do you promise?”
    “I promise.”
58 notes · View notes