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rollercoasterwords · 1 year

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consumer culture + fandom rot

here's some more fandom analysis nobody asked for!! this is gonna be my charlie day moment this is gonna be me standing in front of a red-string corkboard shouting about how i've connected the dots bc i cannot sleep and i am in desperate need of a topic to take my mind off Other Things. so here's me breaking down what i mean when i say that consumer culture is the root issue of all (? or at least many of) the problems i currently see in marauders fanfic/fandom spaces (the only fandom i am plugged into; perhaps some of this can be generalized outwards, perhaps some of it cannot. i'm not an expert on anything i'm just overthinking shit i Observe).

Part 1: The Black Hole of Consumer Culture

ok so first we need context first we need to make sure we're on the same page and the page that we're on is that late stage capitalism is destroying our ability to see literally anything outside of a consumer culture. like we are reaching a point where literally every facet of our lives is monetized, including our hobbies, our entertainment, our art.

like. ok. part of the sort of like...promise? expectation? assumption? with capitalism is that work, money, the consumer economy, all that jazz is a contained sphere, right? you have your home life, and you have your work life. but that just...doesn't really exist anymore. no matter where you are, no matter what you're doing, you are consuming or being consumed. everywhere we turn, somebody is selling us something; everywhere we turn, our lives, our data, our attention is being sold to advertisers, who then use that information to sell us back their products. we are all stuck in this endless consumer cycle. and because we're stuck in this cycle where the lines between our private interior interests and thoughts versus our public selves and images are constantly blurred, it's getting to the point where we are being taught to literally always see ourselves as products for the consumption of those around us. this was only exacerbated by the pandemic, where suddenly everyone was lonely and isolated and seeking connections through algorithmic social media platforms that turn you into a product for advertisers and then work to sell shit back to you. i mean, i think about margaret atwood's whole "you are the male voyeur in your own head," right, but with the growth of social media and the surveillance state there's almost this constant sense of being watched that i think applies to practically everyone, and there's also this sense that the only way to assuage our loneliness is to boil ourselves down into byte-sized (couldn't resist the pun sorry) aesthetic photographs or 30 second tiktok clips or pithy little tweets to gets as many likes as possible, and that's--fuck, sorry, i'm already ranting, but it's just. it's just. that's not what being human is, and yet because we are stuck in this consumer cycle it is becoming more and more difficult to see ourselves outside of it, and that means boiling ourselves down to the most shallow and basic little pieces of meaningless shit in a desperate attempt for some part of ourselves to just be seen by strangers on the internet. and social media is tugging us in with these algorithms, destroying our attention spans, getting us addicted with little dopamine hits until we literally do not know how to connect with each other as people, as human beings, because all of our social interaction is coming from people's boiled-down internet personas and these parasocial relationships we develop with what essentially amounts to cardboard cutouts of humanity, and we wonder why we're all so fucking lonely all the time, and we open our phones to scroll through tiktok to get that dopamine hit and try to forget. fucking FUCK it's a nightmare and we're all stuck in it. sorry.

the point: it is becoming more and more difficult to see any aspect of life outside of the framework of a consumer culture, where everything--even our very personalities, our very selves--is a product for consumption by someone, somebody, somewhere, anywhere.

so if this is what's happening to us, what's happening to our art?

Part 2: The Deterioration of Art

look, let's get my personal stance on art established and out of the way, alright? i think that good art, dare i say real art, is one thing: a conversation. i think good art (using "art" broadly here--literature, music, performance, etc all included) asks us questions, good art makes us think, good art sits with us and says: what does it mean to be human? good art does not hold up a set of moral guidelines and say "this is how you're meant to live your life"; good art holds up a mirror and says "how do you think you're meant to live your life?" good art engages our critical thought.

the consumer economy is not conducive to critical thought. the consumer economy is not conducive to good art. the consumer economy wants your attention now, right now, and now it wants you to look at something else, and now it wants you to look at something else, and it wants you consuming as fast as possible, and it doesn't want you sitting and thinking and reflecting on what you consume. and it is extremely difficult to find any art that exists outside of the consumer economy, at this point, because like i said--we're all stuck in it.

and the thing is, like. it is incredibly difficult (maybe even impossible) for any art, any media, that is created within the consumer economy to actually challenge its hegemony, because like...i mean, the organizations producing so much of our art are businesses. the tv shows and movies we watch, the books coming out of these big publishing houses, the music that gets played on the radio--all of it ultimately has a vested interest in maintaining the status quo, because the status quo is what puts money in the pockets of these giant corporations.

so what does that mean? what does it mean that so much of our art is being produced by corporations that want to keep us happy and distracted and consuming as much as possible, as fast as possible?

it means we aren't getting art as a conversation. we aren't getting art that challenges us to think deeply, and critically, and to struggle with what it means to be human. instead, we are falling prey to this insidious idea that art ought to exist with moral guidelines built in, that art is supposed to tell us how to live. and it concerns me to see this growing spread of moral puritanism that aligns in many ways with what i've seen in the conservative christian spaces i grew up in, which decries any moral ambiguity as Supporting Moral Wrongs--as though art is something meant to be morally pure, and if it's not then it is a corrupting influence that must be eradicated. and because we're being brainwashed into thinking that art is no longer meant to be a conversation, but instead a simple product to consume that already has all the answers pre-packaged for us, we end up seeing so much mainstream art and media that is so incredibly shallow, as well as increasing censorship surrounding art. i'm just gonna link to this jen silverman essay, which talks about this really well.

Part 3: Bringing it Back to Fanfic

ok so here's where i finally start to get to the point. and the point is that fanfiction is meant to exist outside the consumer economy (if you've read any of my other posts about this, you'll probably think i'm starting to sound like a broken record. that's because i am). and that is so incredibly unique in this day and age. there is so, so little art left that exists entirely outside the realm of the capitalist meat-grinder, and we should be striving to protect it at all costs.

but! but. of course, the consumer economy is insidious and it spreads like a mold over everything. and the thing is--here's my theory, okay? here's my theory. not an expert, new to fandom spaces, disclaimer disclaimer blah blah blah. here's my theory.

i really think that tiktok is largely the reason that fanfiction has become so much more tied into a consumer economy over the past 3ish years. like, marauders fandom specifically--it seems like atyd going viral on tiktok is what essentially started this wave of people going, "oh, fanfiction can be TikTok content," and then suddenly...it was. and once fanfiction became TikTok content, it got placed inside a consumer economy, because tiktok is an algorithmic social media that does all the shit i discussed in part one of this fucking. rant. essay. whatever.

SO suddenly people are interacting with fanfic within the framework of a consumer economy, and we see this shift in fandom culture that i think has left a lot of people really confused and upset and has also led to just a lot of people talking over each other, because if two people are engaging with a form of art using entirely different frameworks, it's just like...well ur starting with different premises. like of course you're going to have communication issues.

anyway here are some problems that i personally have observed that i think all tie back to this issue of engaging with fanfiction through the framework of a consumer economy:

unnecessarily criticizing fanfction the way you might criticize a product that you paid for and didn't like

demanding that fanfic writers produce a certain amount of content or produce content in a specific way, as though fanfic writers are making a product for audience consumption

engaging with fanfiction under the assumption that anyone writing fanfic wants it to be advertised and go viral and gain a huge audience

when a fanfic does go viral and someone gains a huge audience despite never seeking it out, treating that person like an influencer or celebrity and placing expectations + responsibilities on them that they literally never asked for

on the flipside of that, people getting into writing fanfiction who like...advertise their fic as though their goal is to go viral. i mean there's nothing wrong with sharing your work on the internet and wanting people to see it, y'know? but just like...evaluate your own motivations behind why you're sharing your writing. if your main priority is to just to get as many likes as possible, it will probably not end up being a very sustainable or joyful hobby for you.

treating fanfic as though it is meant to be a set of moral guidelines (rather than a conversation about morality) and loudly declaring fanfic problematic when it contains subject matter that does not align with your personal moral code

acting as though there is a clear delineation between writers and readers of fanfiction in a way that plays into the dynamics of producers and consumers

i'm sure this isn't a comprehensive list but this is everything that's coming to mind for me right now. so. yeah. when i say that placing fanfiction within consumer culture is like the Root of All Evil this is what i mean! and this is why i think it is so so so important to push back against fanfiction being placed in a consumer economy and to try very hard to keep it separate in its own little oasis.

in conclusion i have cracked the code. i am so tired. the end.

#haha nooo don't stay up past ur bedtime writing a super long essay ur so sexy ;)#noooo stop go to sleep don't spiral and think about the black hole of consumer culture #stop itttt omg no don't rant and make lists on ur tumblr blog !! ur out of control!!#ok anyway sorry i couldn't sleep i needed a distraction u know how it is #welcome to my brain. it is literally a nightmare up here i can't shut it off.#ranting and raving #txt

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vulto-cor-de-rosa · 10 months

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A year ago I had just woken up from a long night sleep when I resived the news.

I had a message of my best friend, the one that got me into the DSMP in the first place but that eventually moved on from it, asking what was going on and why was everyone saying that Techno had died.

"Did c!Techno die or something?"

I didn't believe it at first, I thought that I had lost a lore stream or something because the thought of Techno passing away didn't even cross my mind

I went on YouTube to check if I had lost a lore stream or not and then is when I saw "So long nerds"

I couldn't believe it. I started crying the moment that Technodad started speaking and after watching the entire video I responded to my friend a simple "No, cc!Techno did"

I spend a good 20 minutes in my room crying my eyes out until I eventually calmed down enough to the kitchen to get breakfast, and on my way there I pass through my older sisters room, who I thought that was still asleep, but she opens the door, takes a look at me and says that she had heard what happen. All my calming down was for nothing because the moment she said that I immediately broke down again

She hugged me and took me back to my room and we talked. I talked about how important he was for me, how much he made me laugh, how much he inspired me, how much he comforted me and I talked about how I never thought that this could happen. I was drawing him the night before for fucks sake

My sister listened to me and told me that she understood me, that when an artist that she liked died she reacted the same way, and that I wasn't weird or "parasocial" for me to feel this way.

Today marks one year since "So long nerds" was uploaded and when I broke down because of Tommy's video my sister was there to comfort me again.

I miss Techno a lot. The thought that it's been a year since that day is so surreal, even today is hard for me to realize that he is actually gone and not in a long break or something. Grief is something funny and it's ok to still feel sad after a year, two years or even seven years have passed. But you won't feel like this forever, things will get better.

He did so much for so many people, changed so many lives for the better, mine included. We should celebrate his life and keep his memory alive.

After all, Technoblade never dies 🎗

#rosa's garden #death #tw death #technoblade #technoblade never dies #tw cancer #kinda #cw grief #vent post

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lifeintheworldtocome · 2 years

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can we honestly edate? youre beautiful. You always make me laugh, always make me smile. You literally make me want to become a better person... I really enjoy every moment we spend together. My time has no value unless it is spent with you. I tell everyone of my irls how awesome you are. Thank you for being you. Whenever you need someone to be there for you, know that ill always be right there by your side. I love you so much. I dont think you realize how amazing you are sometimes. Life isnt as fun when youre not around. You are truly stunning. I want you to be my soulmate. I love the way you smile, you are absolutely gorgeous. If i had a star for everytime you crossed my mind it could make the entire galaxy. Your personality is as pretty as you are and thats saying something. I love you, please date me. I am not even calling it edating anymore because i know we will meet soon enough heart OK I ADMIT IT I LOVE YOU OK i fucking love you and it breaks my heart when i see you play with someone else or anyone commenting in your profile i just want to be your boyfriend and put a heart in my profile linking your profile and have walltext of you commenting cute things i want to play video games talk in discord all night and watch a movie together but you see so uninterested in me it fucking kills me and i cant take it anymore i want to remove you but i care too

this is how dangerous parasocial relationships can form. goodtitswith-scar doesnt love you. he cant love you. goodtitswith-scar doesnt KNOW you. he can appreciate you but he cant fucking love you.

#asks #lesboirl

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floor-time · 2 years

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tw: death (specifically technoblade's), cancer

Not posting on my main blog because of other people there that I don't want to like tell more directly, like just more private in a way. I might repost there later tho.

This has a lot of my deep down emotions and it's very long that's why I'm adding the read more link. Another warning: this is mainly about Technoblade's death and my reaction to it.

I wasn't even that big of a fan of techno, I liked the new videos and all and occasionally went back to some old ones but I wasn't ever a big fan. But I'm still very affected by it and I'm not exactly sure how/why. Part of it might be that he's such a huge impact on the whole group of people (dsmp and friends) and is a big part of it all (including lore)

When I was watching the video I was staring at nothing, and I started shaking. As it went on I thought of something else in my real life that relates to this and that made it even worse.

I feel kind of, numb. or like emotionless. not processing all of the emotions. I think I could cry if I let myself, I might be holding back my emotions because I don't think anyone in my real life would really get it (I don't fully either)

currently when I talk to other people about it I've kind of said different things because I don't really want to tell them all of this, kinda personal you know.

I don't know what I'm like comfortable with, I kind of want to share like how I found out about him and stuff but at the same time I don't know if I'll be able to continue reading a fic I'm in the middle of that has him as one of the main characters.

I have seen someone that has offered to talk with anyone that needs it, and I might say the memories stuff and some of this to them but I'm not sure. I don't know. I also feel like I have no one I could talk to irl about it so I might talk to them about that. but there's also that I don't know them that well and I don't like to dm first but I probably shouldn't do it in the main server.

It feels weird to like say I'm mourning him because it feels parasocial and I wasn't even like a huge fan. But I think I am, maybe it's something that's like it being so sudden.

Someone mentioned that the title of the video being "so long nerds" (even looking at it makes me want to cry) like gives off the feeling that he wants to like be remembered for the good stuff and things like that and someone said that they're going to watch a like funny moments compilation in honor but I don't think I can do that. I know it's ok to react differently tho

I feel like this kind of makes him feel more like a real person to me. like I knew that fact that he was a real person before of course, but this just like. makes it sink in. that's a person. with a life. who helped a lot of people. and they're gone. not coming back. they didn't know me. negative emotions that I can put into words but they're next.

As I've been writing this it's been harder to like keep it together and I had to take a break in the middle to go eat with all of my family. one of my siblings knows, and I told another one to watch the video but I don't think the second one has yet. we didn't talk about it outside of me asking the second one if they've seen the video and the first one telling me that they have. it gets harder and easier to not cry or whatever in waves.

I've had a lot of bad feelings recently about things irl but I've never really cried to get them out or whatever but I did kind of feel them. this might be kind of a breaking point. I think it will end up being an active decision to cry about this and other things and tell someone or to keep it to myself more, and I don't know what I'll do but at this moment I feel like I won't.

I don't think I can read all of this again to proofread, it's kind of too much. but I might go back and do it if I like post it somewhere else or something

#tw death #tw cancer #technoblade #tw technoblade death #vent #negative emotions #emotions #bad emotions #grief/mourning #unhealthy coping mechanisms #i think #long post #dissection of emotions and feelings

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you-cant-spell-subtext-without · 3 years

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for the record I want to clarify my parasocial position on the TSA tweet is that the actual patdown didnt even happen he just wanted everyone to be reminded TSA America exists

#ok taking a parasocial break for a moment #but I saw some posts that were concerned for him too and #I do think misha is VERY clear on consent and the need for it in respect to touching other people #and it being appropriate or not #like he just talked ab that with Alyssa on the podcast #and if this made him angry I think the tweet wild be different #see: yesterdays very angry tweet re people who wont get vaxxed #ok sorry I just wanted to put that out there as a consideration #obviously I have no idea what he is thinking but the vibe I get is that this is in good fun #and of course btw please know I think reactions diff from mine are totally valid #and if you are feeling negatively about this for any reason I am holding space for you and here to talk #TSA America Monday

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lilyfreshwater · 2 years

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man i just need to vent but i think today might mark the end of me and being a tubbling. i've long lost my fixation on every other mcyt cc i used to watch, but i kept up with tubbo because i genuinely respect(ed?) the guy and like his personality and content. i took a break watching him towards the end of last year because i could just tell he wasn't settled in his life and it made me too parasocially anxious to watch, but i happened to catch a stream again in january and became hooked again. i literally watched every single day of the subathon but now i'm once more finding him difficult to watch. i don't know if it's his extreme stress over tubnet that is spilling out as it's getting closer, the heart monitor may suggest as much. or just a build up of many stressful events that he's had to deal with of recent like the leaks and stuff. but he just seems so relentlessly stressed out at the moment.

also if there's even a small chance we're going to witness him and ranboo slowly getting back together in front of tens of thousands of people i'm out. first time around it was cute don't get me wrong, i was literally on ebblr every day lurking like most people here. but now knowing that somebody is going to get hurt in the process and the failed first attempt i physically can't bring myself to watch. i hope it really is just some kind of tactic he's trying out and his sudden clinginess with ranboo is only because of that, but i don't think i can take the risk and keep watching for my own sanity.

it's ok anon, i understand the struggle. its important that you recognize if you're just not enjoying the content anymore rather than forcing yourself to watch it tho. i remember when i stopped keeping up with all the streams at the end of last year because i was just too busy and didn't really enjoy anyones content anymore. also i relate to the ranboo thing. i think i'm a little less stressed about it because i see it as a near impossibility, but there's always a chance. anyways, wishing you the best <3

#ask

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demonslayedher · 3 years

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Your content on Kny is interesting, being a Kny fan I would like to share a cusiority. During the final battle did you notice that the Hashira were passive about the death of some? When Shinobu died only Tanjiro had a reaction because of how busy he was; Mitsuri didn't seem sad and when Iguro remembered who died in the middle of the final battle he didn't even mention her. What did you think? It would have been nice if Gotouge had shown us what the Hashira's thought when the others died

[cont.] I'm the anonymous person who asked you the question about the Hashira who fell in the fight, Tumblr makes people write very little. Apart from Tanjiro they seemed cold to me, even for Tokito; the only one affected was Himejima; when always Iguro mentioned him during the clash with Muzan it was like he was thinking normally. There wasn't time to mourn for the dead but I was expecting a slightly deeper reaction. Anyway for Shinobu yes there was Inosuke and Kanao but the pillars are important too

Thank you for the Ask, time to get into it! This served as a good excuse to flip back through of a lot of the later volumes... or rather, a huge chunk of the series. Short Answer: I don’t think Mitsuri knew about Shinobu’s death. Longer Answer: A walk-through of the Pillars’ situations in the final showdown and a partial analysis of Kimetsu-style story pacing.

Disclaimer: I finished this around 2am. I chose to leave it rambling and unedited and typo-ridden. HAVE MY FEELS, I’M DISHING THEM.

(Disclaimer: This isn’t meant to be a plug for my own fics, but since they are born out of my emotional experience of canon, mentions will make their way in. U fu fu.) First, absolutely yes on there being no time to mourn. From the moment the Ubuyashiki Mansion blows up in volume 16 to the actual end of the fighting in volume 23, that is one hell of a night; this final arc(s) had NO CHILL. Like, wow. It’s been a long time since I followed another battle-driven manga, but that seems like a lot, especially for a relatively short series. And I was initially happy to dismiss all the lack of satisfying sadness as being due to the fact that they are in *PANIC MODE* and entirely focused on fighting, but that is also not necessarily the case; they do come off slightly cold. I want to touch a bit on what we want to see the characters mourn each other, but also why I think it works out a bit better that we didn’t; from a purely narrative standpoint. LET THEM BE SAD: Parasocial Needs Science says we form bonds with fictional characters that affect our brains in very similar and impactful ways, so our feelings are legit when they get killed off. It affects us like a breakup or other goodbye and makes us crave closure. As for my own assumptions, we look for proxy characters in-universe to give those characters we love the attention we wish to; their sadness validates our sadness, watching them get emotional can be super cathartic, and a good mourning arc can provide satisfying closure. This is something we got with Rengoku, canonically loved by like, everyone. Hell, even the guy who killed him was sad. Just to rub salt into it, the most recent fanbook that includes a section about how the Pillars see each other, and it drives home that even if we never saw much or any canon interaction between him and any other given character, they’re all like, “Oh yeah, Rengoku, he’s a great guy.” And, he’s the only character we really get space to mourn, pacing-wise. First, because of when it happens in the plot, this gives the story time to show us each and everyone one of the Pillars hearing the news; it gives them times to process it (which Tokitou clearly needed), and most of us, it takes us in depth through how it affects Tanjirou, our main character whose emotions that we, the readers, are most in touch with. Rengoku got star treatment in the way he was mourned, and we readers get to lap that up. So then when we don’t get that in-universe star mourning treatment, it does feel a bit jarring by comparison. Gotouge did say she was sorry to hurt everyone, but these are the conditions the little humans were up against all along and a point driven home again and again; even with power on par with demons through the attainment of a mark; even Pillars are just breakable humans who will never be able to regenerate like demons can, hence why their stakes are so much higher in every battle they go into. Furthermore, the Pillars are more ready for this than anyone else, they of all the characters would be the best at keeping their emotions in check in the heat of a battle. Which means they had to keep them in check for seven volumes of near constant battle, love it or hate it. KIMETSU LOGIC: The Writing Sins That Make This Manga What It Is I could go on and on and on and on about the writing sins this manga commits and how it shows that it’s Gotouge’s first time writing something of this length. In manga not all of it can be blamed on the author alone because the editors have a very significant influence, but yeah, this is not the most amazingly crafted story out there, by a long shot. Would I change any of it, though? Well, a few things, yes, of course, out of personal preference. But on the whole, no. It’s the collective errors that stamp KnY with its style and make it what it is, and I find it as endearing as all the randomly super goofy art. Now, when it comes to the lack of Pillars reacting to new of each others’ deaths, I wouldn’t necessarily classify that itself as a fault, and if I were Gotouge’s editor, I probably would have encouraged her to keep it to a minimum too. After all, I would be considered with selling a new shot of tension with every week’s installment to keep any readers from getting bored with the constant battle. And dang it, THAT TENSION WAS HIGH, those battles were remarkably emotional and tense through and through. The breaks in tension that we got were necessarily and not distracting, with the notable exception of Iguro’s past. That was clumsy placement. I’ll be honest, I didn’t bond with Iguro as much as a character because he lost his earlier chances to be appealing to me, and by the time the chapter with his flashback came out, I DIDN’T CARE, I waited anxiously all week to see what was happening to Tanjiro and was invested enough to have an appetite for the additional Sumiyoshi and Yoriichi bits, but dang it, Snake Pillar was getting in the way of what my emotions were primed for at that point. But, such is the way of fickle weekly readers; with THAT MUCH tension going on, readers crave a little breather here and there with a look at who else might taking in a breather in a flashback. We got bits and pieces of that mostly through flashback, like Tamayo’s memories of conversation with Shinobu experienced in real time through Muzan, as well as in-real-time moments with the characters having very slight chances to catch their breath (no pun intended). But, how well those breaths worked depending on each character, and how the readers’ emotions were getting slammed week to week. Just like how I as a weekly reader (by that point) had no appetite for an Iguro flashback while eager to move forward, there likewise would have been limited appetite for mourning, and we’re stuck with who we got as proxy characters to react through. ACTION, REACTION: The Rhythm of Basic Writing Advice It has often been said that in writing, something should happen in a scene, and the next scene should be a reaction to it. In the next scene something new happens, and likewise, there is a reaction. We could also thing of this as stages within the same scene, like the part when the music changes or the moment the battle has ended but we’re still on the battlefield. In Rengoku’s case, we got one big happening, and then a whole lot of reaction drizzled through the story after that. In the Infinity Fortress case, we get a big happening with the Ubuyashiki Mansion blowing up and then--a big happening!--a big happening!--a big happening--! A--uh oh, there’s a reactio---NEVERMIND, THINGS ARE STILL HAPPENING, GOTOUGE, PLEASE, THIS HURTS, OW, OW, HOW ARE YOU SO CRUEL, WE GET IT, THIS SITUATION IS AWFUL, PLEASE STOP HURTING THEM---

The reactions are there, scattered throughout. They’re short, but they sure make themselves count. While Tanjirou is our Empathy Personified hero, it’s natural that we get more of his reactions, but the lack of them in other characters is, I would say, a natural fault of having a huge cast to work with it. Once you start dragging too many other characters into the reactions, the actions have trouble moving forward, and with the level of seven volumes worth of tension it’s the actions that keep readers hooked and buying magazines. THEY’RE ONLY CORVIDS, OK: Now We’re Actually Looking At Canon Details Now that all being said, although it’s easy to dismiss a lot of Kimetsu Logic as amateurish at first, on further reflection, the little worldbuilding logic does excuse itself for not plunging each of the characters into a period of reaction to actions happening elsewhere. Not all the birds had Yushiro’s papers. Not all birds were created equal. It’s really hard to navigate that place. Ergo, communication was probably highly imperfect; not all the crows knew everything going on. We don’t feel that as readers because we’re seeing Kiriya and his sisters get all the available communications. In Iguro and Mitsuri’s case in particular, I suspect that might not even had been Mitsuri’s crow (as that one has a distinct personality and accessory) giving her orders to gather where Muzan is. It was probably any old down-to-business crow working with the information it had as clearly as it could in the battle that was most difficult to physically navigate. If Mitsuri’s crow (named Urara in the most recent fanbook) had been there, I imagine she’d have been having difficulty that whole time to even stay within a close range of that battle. Furthermore, a crow like that with a strong bond with Mitsuri might had also judged that telling her about Shinobu’s death was a dangerous distraction, and chosen to withhold information. The fanbook specifies that Iguro’s crow Yuuan was the one who told him about how Tokitou got a red blade (in fact, this is basically the only thing said of this crow besides its name and gender). To able to report in such detail that Iguro could analyze that Tokitou attained the red blade by the strength of his grip, that probably quite an accomplishment to have either witnessed that much, or to pass on crucial information that detailed and quickly. At that time, Iguro and Mitsuri were physically separated and she was distracted by the crow giving her orders to gather where Muzan was, so she might not even have overheard that Tokitou had died. As for Iguro, the second fanbook tells us that because Tokitou was young he had hoped he wouldn’t die. There was no opportunity to mourn him, and they weren’t close enough for that to throw him off much from battle, but on a Pillar to Pillar level, I think the amount of thought Iguro did dedicated to Tokitou showed a certain level of esteem for him and regret at this passing. What would have been nice? Maybe a little look over his shoulder to Mitsuri like “I hope she didn’t hear that.” That would have revealed a tender side of Iguro in a very short use of panels. I want to come back to analyzing Mitsuri’s reaction later, so let’s keep focusing on the loss of Tokitou. Once he attained more of his sense of self back, it seems he preferred the company of Corp Members closed to him in age (if we go by his little flashbacks, which in true Kimetsu Logic, are things we didn’t know about until they come up in flashbacks). Most of the Pillars weren’t especially close with him, even if they did care about his wellbeing, as they seemed particular aware of how young he was. Sanemi probably had never interacted much with Tokitou until that battle, and *OKAY, HERE IT IS, THE UPCOMING FANFIC SELF-PLUG* one of the things I really liked working with in my post-canon fic is that there’s a point at which thinking about Tokitou forces Sanemi to deal with all the trauma he’s buried from that battle. I figure it would hit him later; he had a good excuse of a distraction. Ugh. Man. My heart hurts again thinking of that chapter. Let’s also not forget, after Himejima showed his respects for Tokitou both quickly and sincerely, he couldn’t allow Sanemi to deal with Genya’s death until after everything was over. All the Pillars had to think like this. What would had been nice? I liked this reaction scene to two simultaneous and horrific deaths exactly as it was. Ow. Ahhhh. Owwwwww, it’s hurting again. This is catharsis exactly the way I like it. Let’s keep going with Himejima, the only one to have known to expect all this, and who stayed ready and likely hoped to bring down Muzan all by himself without any other sacrifices (welp, so much for that). There’s a scene in the novels that implies he had some idea that Shinobu wasn’t intending to make it out of the upcoming battle(s) alive, and I imagine he felt the same regret and bitter acceptance in advance that he also felt with Ubuyashiki. If we heard the news about Shinobu like Tanjirou and Giyuu did, I imagine he was hurt but it wouldn’t have been noticeable, and he probably would not be surprised even at how quickly it happened. What would had been nice? Anything. Just a “How pitiful” and some tears as he runs through the halls woulda’ been great. So since Giyuu did hear it loud and clear with Tanjirou, I first want to point out that whether that was Tanjirou’s crow or not (might not had been, because his crow was busy with a letter delivery from Senjurou at the time too), that crow must had loved to shared details; maybe even details that were not necessary. Like, would telling the lower level Corp members everything really help? Wouldn’t the loss of each Pillar make them lose their nerve? Was it because that crow was wearing one of Yushiro’s papers that it had to report extra detail for Ubuyashiki HQ? Whatever the case, Giyuu is initially shocked about Shinobu and then is like, “what is that paper the crow has? It sure is reporting things fast.” What would have been nice? ANYTHING MORE THAN ONE PANEL OF SHOCK. Come on, Giyuu, give the GiyuuShino shippers S O M E T H I N G. Granted, if Tanjirou had been killed in battle with Akaza, I believe Giyuu would have had an initial outburst of emotion, but then gotten himself under control real quick and stayed that way until it was safe to break down (which he did immediately later on, since the threat was gone--but he was just as soon picking up a sword and stabbing him, so again, Pillar-mode must come before experiencing emotions). I interpret canon as that even though Giyuu might had found it easily to address Shinobu in conversation due to frequency in how much they had conversed and the fact that she would usually talk to him first, he would never had considered himself especially close with her (since he never saw himself close with any of the Pillars). I feel their relationship had potential to grow closer if Giyuu had actually gone out of his way to communicate more with her, and he probably would had if they both survived, but at the time she died he probably still felt a distance, which is why it did him harder when Tanjirou--someone who Giyuu did actually get to a point of enjoying conversation with--was dead right in front of him. (Side not, oh man, OH MAN, being a weekly reader was so tough then. I still have so many emotions from that week. Oh man. Oof. Ouch.)

Of note, Giyuu had the best opportunity for reflection on a comrade’s death since he had enough recovery time once he woke up to build a fire and treat wounds, and Tanjirou took that chance to read a letter.

What would have been nice? AGAIN, GIYUU, ANYTHING, but after that battle I think he deserved to disassociate a bit. Also of note, I don’t know that they had complete information either, because NO ONE (by “no one” I mean Tanjirou and Inosuke) seemed to hear anything about Zenitsu single-handedly killing Upper Moon Six and surviving it. What would had been nice: “Good for you, Zenitsu, I hope you’re okay” or “Six? Again? Didn’t we already do that? There was a third??” or “well I got Upper Moon Two SO THERE” or “..........are you sure?” or even way, way after all is said and done, off in epilogue times, “you fought WHO by YOURSELF???” but I digress. Now back to Shinobu, losing her so early on in this marathon of high-stakes battles made her death seem forever ago by the time we got to another Pillar death. It would had been nice for more of them to react both with “no, not Shinobu!” and “we are in deep trouble” sort of ways. That made the glimpses we got of her in flashback feel way, way more nostalgic, since for our experiences as readers, she had already been gone a very long time. I like that the battle with Douma got stretched over so long a span of the manga, they really showed the stakes in how difficult of a foe he was, even if that battle was itself was relatively shorter than others. And as stand-ins for the readers to mourn Shinobu, I love how we got that both through Kanao and through Inosuke. But yes, it sure would had been nice to get something from... Mitsuri. Now, if I had only read the events of canon, manga chapter to manga chapter, and even the Taisho Secrets, I still never would have guessed that Shinobu and Mitsuri had such a warm friendship. I know this purely from the fanbooks and novels, and that is something I find a writing error that detracts a lot from the work. Some of the most apt criticism I’ve heard of the Kimetsu pacing is that it could have stood to give us one of more arc to bond with the characters at least a little more, so we could really, really be emotional over loosing them. We get all our spare Pillar interactions in works outside of canon and after Tanjirou initially gets to know Shinobu, he has no more on-screen interactions with her; she mostly appears in Taisho Secrets. Pillar Training was fun and all, but maybe another arc with stakes in it that occurs closer to home and brings out some different sides of the Pillars in Tanjirou’s presence, instead of each of them getting one dance each with our protagonist. That would had been a chance to show Shinobu and Mitsuri’s friendship, in which case, we would had really, really wanted to see Mitsuri’s reaction. But, Mitsuri had a job to do in the very, very, very heavy tension and battles that ran in weekly magazines for months on end. She carried the very heavy weight of needing to provide brevity. Her silliness contrasted against all that tension was fresh air for readers who had been holding their breath (no pun intended! kinda) through so much. And man, our reliance on her for that made it hurt all the more when things suddenly got very serious for her. But, that means she was also unable to play a heavy emotional role too early on. There wasn’t room to give her a satisfyingly emotional reaction to Shinobu or Tokitou; when after all, this is the girl who was fretting about dearly beloved Oyakata-sama, was horrified to see the explosion, angirly attacked Muzan, but was saved from certain doom almost immediately after she was taken by surprise in the Infinity Fortress, and then she’s BACK TO 100% FANGIRL MODE. Like, giiiiiiiiiirl, Oyakata-sama just diiiiiiied, tone it down a notch. I feel like I had more to say. OH YEAH. WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?: To fanfic, duh. Going back to reaction and action and producing something with sellable pacing, again, I wouldn’t risk bogging down the tension-heavy final arc with too much open sadness (less is more definitely applies when the reaction scenes were often SO GOOD), but it clearly set up the desire for it. And, the length and intensity with which a work of fiction can live rent-free in audiences’ minds is a measure of its success. If we MUST turn to fanfiction to get that emotional closure (or force the Pillars to get theirs), then this is proof of a job well done in making us care. Herein lies the freedom with fanfiction: It doesn’t have to be good. It doesn’t have to sell. It doesn’t have to fit a regular serialized format. Fanfic is whatever it wants, all it has to do is indulgently scratch an itch. I have way more stomach for sappiness in fanfic than in original canon, because I have higher expectations of canon to honor writing conventions, and to make decisions that will serve the overall story, not necessarily cater to my tastes. But fanfic? Fanfic, you are here to serve me. Dive into those characters’ dry eyes with a jackhammer and gives me their tears. I don’t care how much you have to fry their brains to do it, give it to me. I mean, I don’t write fanfic like that, noooo. At least, not that I post publicly. Ssh. No one needs to know aaaaaall my particular canon itches I wish to have picked raw. But all the more power to people who DO post that publicly and provide a great service to all the other people with that same need. But, in the spirit of writing fic that tries to honor the spirit of canon, I try to sprinkle the juicy emotional potential canon could have had around as needed, to draw out what I feel canon just didn’t have the opportunity to give us. It’s ultimately self-servicing for what I wish canon would had done, but my style of published fic does try to stay widely appealing as a gen fic. Everybody’s got their own balances and tastes, and that’s cool. And that is freedom canon authors don’t have. I’ll conclude by saying that, although we as readers collectively earned it, the ending of Kimetsu no Yaiba was too bright and happy and specifically chose bittersweet moments that would be easy to swallow (pretty smart for a quick ending), but entirely skipped all the really heavy stuff in the immediate aftermath.

And yes, as difficult (and even dull) as it would be to slog through, there’s a part of me that wants to see all that, for the sake of closure.

And now I sleep byyyyezzzzzzzzz

#KnY fandom theories and meta #KnY Spoilers #tw death #KnY nerdery #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer

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fullregalia · 3 years

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20/20.

This year, in hindsight, was a real write-off. I had grand plans for it, and while I ushered it in in a very low-key manner since I was recovering from the flu, I’d expected things to look up. Well, you know what they say about plans (RIP, my trip to Europe). I got very, very sick in early February, and I’m not entirely sure it wasn’t COVID. Since March, the days have been a carousel of monotony: coffee, run, work, cook, yoga, existential spiral, sleep. My Own Private Year of Rest and Relaxation, if you will. Of course, life has a way of breaking through regardless; I attended protests, completed my thesis, graduated from grad school, took a couple of road trips upstate, and celebrated the accomplishments and birthdays of friends and family from a safe social distance. It was all a bit of a blur, and not ideal circumstances to re-enter the real world, or whatever this COVID-present is.

Throughout it all, in lieu of happy hours, coffee dates, and panel discussions, I’ve turned even more to culture and cuisine to fill the the negative space on my calendar where my social life once resided. However, since a global pandemic ought not to disrupt every tradition, here’s my year-end round up of what made this terrible one slightly more tolerable.

After an ascetic fall semester abstaining from TV in 2019 (save for my beloved Succession), I allowed myself to watch more as the year wore on, and especially after graduation. I caught up on some cultural blind spots by finally getting around to The Sopranos, Ramy, Search Party, and Girlfriends. I wasn’t alone in bingeing Sopranos, it absolutely lived up to the hype and then some; this Jersey Girl can’t get enough gabagool-adjacent content, pizzeria culture is my culture!

Speaking of my culture, there was also a disproportionate amount of UK and European shows in my queue. Nothing like being in social isolation and watching the horny Irish teens in Normal People brood. I’m partial to it because I share a surname with the showrunner, so I have to embrace blind loyalty even though there was, in my opinion, a Marianne problem in the casting. Speaking of charming Irish characters with limited emotional vocabularies, I belatedly discovered This Way Up a 2019 show from Aisling Bea and Sharon Horgan. And while Connell and Marianne are actually exceptional students, I found the real normal people on GBBO to bring me a bit more joy. Baking was abundantly therapeutic for me this year, and watching charming people drink loads of tea and fret over soggy bottoms was a comfort. I also discovered the Great Pottery Throw Down, and as a lifelong ceramics enthusiast, I cannot recommend it highly enough if you care about things like slips, coils, and glazing techniques. GPTD embraces wabi sabi in a way that GBBO eschews flaws in favor of perfection, and in a time of uncertainty, the former reminded me why I miss getting my hands in the mud as a coping mechanism (hence all the baking). Speaking of coping mechanisms, like everybody else with two eyes and an HBO password, I loved Michaela Cole’s I May Destroy You; though we’ve all had enough distress this year for a lifetime, watching Cole’s Arabella process her assault and search for meaning, justice, and closure was a compelling portrait of grief and purpose in the aftermath of trauma. Arabella’s creative and patient friends Kwame and Terry steal the show throughout, as they deal with their own setbacks and emotional turmoil. Where I May Destroy You provides catharsis, Ted Lasso presents British eccentricity in all its stereotypical glory. At first I was skeptical of the show’s hype on Twitter, but once I gave in it charmed me, if only for Roy Kent’s emotional trajectory and extolling the restorative powers of shortbread. For a more accurate depiction of life in London, Steve McQueen’s series Small Axe provides a visually lush and politically clear-eyed depiction of the lives of British West Indians in the 60s, 70s, and 80s. Lastly, how could I get through a recap of my year in tv if I don’t mention The Crown. Normal People may have needed an intimacy coordinator, but the number of Barbours at Balmoral was the real phonographic content for me.

Turning my attention across the Channel, after the trainwreck that was Emily in Paris, I started watching a proper French show, Call My Agent! It’s truly delightful, and unlike the binge-worthy format of "ambient shows” I have been really relishing taking an hour each week to watch CMA, subtitles, cigarettes, and all.

Honorable mention: The Last Dance for its in-depth look at many notable former Chicago residents; High Fidelity for reminding me of the years in college when my brother and I would drive around listening to Beta Band; and Big Mouth.

Music

My Spotify wrapped this year was a bit odd. I don‘t think “Chromatica II into 911″ is technically a song, so it revealed other things about my listening habits this year, which turned out to remain very much stuck in the last, sonically. I listened to a lot more podcasts than new music this year, but there were some records that found their way into heavy rotation. While I listened to a lot of classics both old and new to write my thesis (Paul Simon, Leonard Cohen, Prokofiev, and Bach) the soundtrack to my coursework, runs, walks, and editing was more contemporary. Standouts include:

Saint Cloud by Waxahatchee, which makes me feel like I’m breathing fresh air even when I’m stuck inside all day

La Bella Vita by Niia, which was there for me when I walked past my ex on 7th avenue (twice!) and he pretended that I didn’t exist

Fetch the Bolt Cutters by THEE Fiona Apple, because Fiona, our social distancing queen, has always been my Talmud, her songs shimmering, evolving, and living with me every year

Shore by Fleet Foxes, for the long drive to the Catskills

Women in Music, Pt. III by HAIM, because these days, these days...

Musicians have been reckoning with tumult this year as much as the rest of us, and the industry has dealt with loss on all fronts. I’d be remiss not to talk about how the passing of John Prine brought his music into my life, and McCoy Tyner, who has been a companion through good and bad over the years.

Honorable mention to: græ by Moses Sumney; The Main Thing by Real Estate; on the tender spot of every calloused moment by Ambrose Akinmusire; Punisher by Phoebe Bridgers; folklore by you know who; and songs by Adrianne Lenker.

Reading

What would this overlong blob be without a list of the best things I read this year? While I left publishing temporarily, books, the news, and newsletters still took up a majority of my attention (duh and/or doomscrolling by any other name). I can’t be comprehensive, and frankly, there are already great roundups of the best longform this year out there, so this is mostly books and praising random writers.

Last year I wrote about peak newsletter. Apparently, my prediction was a bit premature as this year saw an even bigger Substack Boom. But two new newsletters in particular have delighted me: Aminatou Sow’s Crème de la Crème and Hunter Harris’ Hung Up (her ”this one line” series is true force of chaotic good on Blue Ivy’s internet). Relatedly, Sow and Ann Friedman’s Big Friendship was gifted to me by a dear friend and another bff and I are going to read it in tandem next week.

On the “Barack Obama published a 700+ page memoir, crippling the printing industry’s supply chains” front, grad school severely hamstrung my ability to read for pleasure, but I managed to get through almost 30 books this year, some old (Master and Margarita), most new-ish (Say Nothing, Nickel Boys). Four 2020 books in particular enthralled me:

Uncanny Valley: Anna Wiener’s memoir has been buzzed about since n+1 published her essay of the same name in 2016. Her ability to see, clear-eyed, the industry for both its foibles and allure captured that era when the excess and solipsism of the Valley seemed more of a cultural quirk than the harbinger of societal schism.

Transcendent Kingdom: Yaa Gyasi’s novel about faith, family, loss, and--naturally--grad school was deeply empathetic, relatable, and moving. I think this was my favorite book of the year. Following the life of a Ghanaian family that settles in Alabama, it captured the kind of emotional ennui that comes from having one foot in the belief of childhood and one foot in the bewilderment that comes from losing faith in the aftermath of tragedy.

Vanishing Half: Similarly to Transcendent Kingdom, Brit Bennett’s novel about siblings who are separated; it’s also about the ways that colorism can be internalized and the ways chosen family can (and cannot) replace your real kin. It was a compassionate story that captured the pain of abuse and abandonment in two pages in a way that Hanya Yanagihara couldn’t do in 720.

Dessert Person: Ok, so this is a cookbook, but it’s a good read, and the recipes are approachable and delicious. After all the BA Test Kitchen chaos this summer, it’s nice we didn’t have to cancel Claire. Make the thrice baked rye cookies!!!! You will thank me later.

Honorable mention goes to: Leave The World Behind for hitting the Severance/Station Eleven dystopian apocalypse novel sweet spot; Exciting Times for reminding me why I liked Sally Rooney; and Summer by Ali Smith, which wasn’t the strongest of the seasonal quartet, but was a series I enjoyed for two years.

Podcasts

I’m saving my most enthusiastic section for last: ever since 2018, I’ve been listening to an embarrassing amount of podcasts. Moving into a studio apartment will do that to you, as will grad school, add a pandemic to that equation and there’s a lot of time to fill with what has sort of become white noise to me (or, in one case, nice white parents noise). In addition to the shows that I’ve written about before (Still Processing, Popcast, Who? Weekly, and Why is This Happening?), these are the shows I started listening to this year that fueled my parasocial fire:

You’re Wrong About: If you like history, hate patriarchy, and are a millennial, you’ll love Sarah Marshall and Michael Hobbes’ deep dives into the most notable stories of the past few decades (think Enron and Princess Diana) and also some other cultural flashpoints that briefly but memorably shaped the national discourse (think Terri Schiavo, Elian González, and the Duke Lacrosse rape case).

Home Cooking: This mini series started (and ended) during the pandemic. As someone who stress baked her way through the past nine months, Samin Nosrat and Hrishikesh Hirway’s show is filled with warmth, banter, and useful advice. Home Cooking has been a reassuring companion in the kitchen, and even though it will be a time capsule once we’re all vaccinated and close talking again, it’s still worth a listen for tips and inspiration while we’re hunkered down for the time being.

How Long Gone: I don’t really know how to explain this other than saying that media twitter broke my brain and enjoying Chris Black and Jason Stewart’s ridiculous banter is the price I pay for it.

Blank Check: Blank Check is like the GBBO of podcasts--Griffin Newman and David Sims’ enthusiasm for and encyclopedic knowledge of film, combined with their hilarious guests and inevitable cultural tangents is always a welcome distraction. Exploring a different film from a director’s oeuvre each week over the course of months, the podcast delves into careers and creative decisions with the passion of completists who want to honor the filmmaking process even when the finished products end up falling short. The Nancy Meyers and Norah Ephron series were favorites because I’d seen most of the movies, but I also have been enjoying the Robert Zemeckis episodes they’re doing right now. The possibility of Soderbergh comes up often (The Big Picture just did a nice episode about/with him), and I’d love to hear them talk about his movies or Spike Lee (or, obviously, Martin Scorsese).

Odds & Ends

If you’re still reading this, you’re a real one, so let’s get into the fun stuff. This was a horrible way to start a new decade, but at least we ended our long national nightmare. We got an excellent dumb twitter meme. I obviously made banana bread, got into home made nut butters, and baked an obscene amount of granola as I try to manifest a future where I own a Subaru Outback. Amanda Mull answered every question I had about Why [Insert Quarantine Trend] Happens. My brother started an organization that is working to eliminate food insecurity in LA. Discovering the Down Dog app allowed me to stay moderately sane, despite busting both of my knees in separate stupid falls on the criminally messed up sidewalks and streets of Philadelphia. I can’t stop burning these candles. Jim Carrey confused us all. We have a Jewish Second Gentleman! Grub Street Diets continued to spark joy. Dolly Parton remains America’s Sweetheart (and possible vaccine savior). And, last, but certainly not least: no one still knows how to pronounce X Æ A-12 Boucher-Musk.

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talhaghafoor2019-blog · 5 years

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One Year Since Chester Bennington’s Death And Linkin Park’s Music Helps Us Deal With The Loss

Chester Bennington died one year ago today, July 20, 2017, found at his home in Palos Verdes Estates, California after taking his own life.

The music industry and beyond switched its default setting to mourn once again, as tributes for the 41-year-old dad of six flooded social media.

We all knew the music of Linkin Park – the band Chester fronted for years – resonated with an army of disenfranchised outsiders, but the outpouring of grief was overwhelming in scale.

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From the moment Hybrid Theory exploded onto our Walkmans with the opening bars of Papercut, we were hooked.

Each song is a three-minute ball of nu metal energy; a heady cocktail of hip-hop, modern rock, and atmospheric electronica, punctuated with instrumental experimentation, which was like sweet musical nectar to our adolescent ears.

The six-piece painted pictures of dark places which piqued some listeners’ curiosity to the depth of the human condition, and simply reminded others of their own struggles.

Hearing Chester brazenly scream ‘shut up’ at the world in One Step Closer felt euphoric to hoards of youths like us, who felt they hadn’t quite found their own voice yet.

The debut album quickly garnered mainstream success in a way never before achieved by an alternative metal mash-up.

Hybrid Theory was certified Diamond by the Recording Industry Association of America in 2005, making it the best-selling debut album of the decade, as well as one of the few albums ever to hit that many sales.

But with great songwriting comes great pressure, as UNILAD Sound discovered:

Linkin Park took their responsibility to fans seriously, and created music marked by a perpetual sense of honesty. Honesty about struggling and, as they put it, dancing with demons.

Chester had been sexually abused as a child, went through the strain of his parents’ divorce at just 11, was bullied at school and eventually turned to drug and alcohol abuse.

To overcome addiction and emotional trauma, he started writing poetry and music.

You can find out how others cope with their own cases of child sex abuse below:

One year after his suicide, it’s natural to read into the award-winning song lyrics written by Bennington and his bandmate Mike Shinoda.

Dr Arthur Cassidy told UNILAD this type of ‘parasocial interaction’ between rockstars and their armies of supporters occurs when ‘fans know lots about their pop singers and rappers but the celebs know nothing about their fans’.

This idolisation can create a lot of unrealistic expectations and put pressure on public figures who are – let’s remember – humans with vulnerabilities and mental health stressors themselves.

Listening to Chester, immortalised in his music, can’t bring back the frontman.

But, today, let’s stick on Hybrid Theory or Meteora and appreciate how he can still help fans deal with their own grief, sadness and struggle.

Chester’s earlier piercing vocals – the perfect foil to Shinoda’s low-key licks – are spiked with anger and frustration, but singing along to the epic choruses brings catharsis, whether you can hit the high notes or not.

Sometimes, Chester’s words are ragged with emotion, screamed through gritted teeth. Often, in the bridge, his melodic vocal captures a quiet pain, selflessly showing his own vulnerability to help others put words and metaphor and tunes to their own.

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Over time – and six further album releases – Linkin Park’s raw anger matured and became more nuanced, as did their ability to layer sounds and create walls of sound, both on stage and in the studio.

The final album almost reads like an acceptance letter, an ode to the trials and tribulations of life, which can make you that little bit stronger when you have a support network.

Now, the Linkin Park back catalogue helps us grieve one year later and carry forward the messages of unity and inclusivity Chester championed throughout his life.

Chester began his musical career with Grey Daze, a post-grunge band from Phoenix, Arizona, who recorded three albums; Demo in 1993, Wake/Me in 1994, and …no sun today in 1997.

Then he joined LP – founded in rural LA by Shinoda, Rob Bourdon, and Brad Delson – where he worked hard beyond their musical output to support fans and his show business peers.

Their rap metal style welcomed more diverse collaborations, ushering in Projeckt Revolution and the likes of Cypress Hill, Adema, Snoop Dogg, Xzibit, and later Busta Rhymes, Pusha T and Steve Aoki, to bring members of different musical tribes together on tracks.

Jay Z has famously paid tribute to Chester a number of times since his death, performing the Grammy-winning Numb/Encore from their collaborative 2004 album, Collision Course, on stage to emotional crowds.

All the while, Linkin Park were accepted by the rock’n roll’elite, winning countless awards during their run and playing on the same stages as the likes of Metallica, Iron Maiden, Placebo and Deftones.

Meanwhile, the band founded a charity called Music For Relief, which staged fundraising events for the victims of over 20 natural disasters, and still works hard to help those hard up today.

We are deeply grateful to every person who donated in any amount to @MusicForRelief's One More Light Fund in honor of @ChesterB 's birthday. Together, you raised more than $90,000 to shine a light on mental health. Thank you for making this possible!

— Music for Relief (@MusicForRelief) April 9, 2018

In 2013, Chester fronted Stone Temple Pilots – a band he cites as an early musical influence – for two years before leaving to focus solely on Linkin Park.

Their last album, released in May a few months before Chester’s death, was received badly by the old vanguard of Linkin Park fans, some of whom unjustifiably said the band had ‘gone soft’.

While tracks like Talking To Myself and Battle Symphony have a more mainstream electro vibe, in hindsight, the new sound marked a moment of acceptance for Linkin Park by the pop culture jury.

Yet, they weren’t forced to change to achieve global success and recognition.

They grew and used their own progression and creative talent to break through barriers, and break the mould of what music critics think matters.

Collaborations with Stormzy, Pusha T and Kiiara show the band were moving forward towards the future of alternative metal, its chameleon-like changeability, and how young artists could take up the baton.

A post shared by LINKIN PARK (@linkinpark) on Jul 20, 2017 at 3:49pm PDT

Shinoda, who has since confirmed LP will continue, said of the title track:

was written with the intention of sending love to those who lost someone. We now find ourselves on the receiving end.

In memorial events, art, videos, and images, fans all over the world have gravitated towards this song as their declaration of love and support for the band and the memory of our dear friend, Chester.

We are so very grateful and can’t wait to see you again.

Chester is remembered in his latest solo project, Post Traumatic, as well as through the , set up by Music For Relief, which aims to shine a light on mental health matters.

Chester’s wife, Talinda Bennington, also initiated a movement called 320 Changes Direction, in honour of her husband to help break the stigma surrounding mental health.

She encouraged other public figures to post to social media saying, ‘I am the change’:

Today we honor the life and music of @linkinpark’s @ChesterBe. @TalindaB joins me on @Beats1@AppleMusic to talk #320ChangesDirection alongside a special Playlist made by @mikeshinoda. 10 am PT. Be the change. https://t.co/Urz4A9nnO3#IAMTHECHANGE#MakeChesterProudpic.twitter.com/vDindLb4bB

— Zane Lowe (@zanelowe) March 20, 2018

Just days before Mental Health Awareness Week here in the UK, Talinda called out the media for perpetrating the stigma of suicide in the language used to describe Avicii’s death.

Today, across the world, fans will show there is no shame in depression or poor mental health, having organised meet-ups and tribute nights to Chester, celebrating his life.

Talinda compiled a list of events and shared it online for those interested:

With the one year fast approaching, there are so many beautiful memorials planned all around the WORLD in honor of Chester. I wanted to share them with you. ❤️

https://t.co/cwboB8Jxbt

— Talinda Bennington (@TalindaB) July 3, 2018

Meanwhile, the fans of Linkin Park and Chester have found other more permanent ways to honour his memory – and his creativity and love for body art – in thousands of memorial tattoos.

While the alternative ink is a fitting tribute, there’s no better way to show respect and love for Chester than reaching out to someone you think might be struggling too.

You can check some of the ink designs out below:

Arm still a little swollen and my hand as well but guess it’s ok now. Time to post a pic in my feed 4 days past. Watch my story to see more if you’re interested 🔥

A post shared by 🌙💀🦋 (@jasminlivingthings) on Jan 29, 2018 at 3:31am PST

amazing ♡ great artwork by @babichtattooart • #chestertattoo #chesterbenningtontattoo #linkinpark #chesterbennington #wemissyou #potd #tb #art #beautiful #love #tattoo #artist #artistsoninstagram

A post shared by Chester Bennington Fans (@chesterbenningtonfans) on Dec 3, 2017 at 7:40am PST

Memoriam tattoo … 😶 #memoriam #memoriamtattoo #linkinpark #riptattoo #chesterbennington #chesterbenningtontattoo

A post shared by Astrid Köpfler (@astridkoepfler) on Jun 24, 2018 at 10:43am PDT

Homenaje de Vani 💕🎤

A post shared by Fresia Tatuajes (@fresia.tattoo) on Jan 9, 2018 at 4:31pm PST

This means so much to me. This man and this band have helped me overcome some of my darkest days and will continue to be my therapy for the rest of my life. This will be a reminder of that and to #makechesterproud ❤️ Now, time to start saving for my portrait piece! 😉😄 #LP #LPtattoo #LPfan #LinkinPark #LinkinParktattoo #ChesterBennington #ChesterBenningtontattoo #music #musicislife #musicistherapy #fuckdepression #clubtattoo

A post shared by Ashley (@shleebers) on Oct 1, 2017 at 9:44am PDT

Linkin Park is hands down my all time favorite band and made a huge impact on me in my life. When Chester passed, I wasn't expecting it to hit me as hard as it did. So when Chester passed, I wanted to do a memorial tattoo for him. So I got this today. Still have the shading to do. Really happy with how it's turning out. Thanks @gabslopez2u #tat #tats #tatted #tattedup #tattoo #tattooart #tattoosocial #tattoos #tattoosofinstagram #tattooed #tattooedandeducated #tattooedandemployed #inked #inkedup #linkinpark #linkinparktattoo #lptattoo #chesterbennington #chesterbenningtontattoo #calftattoo #pain #painful

A post shared by RJ Clark (@welcome.2.my.life) on May 30, 2018 at 6:00pm PDT

All those years ago, at the turn of the millennium in 2000, Hybrid Theory left us with a High Voltage closing sentiment, as Shinoda spits, ‘From now to infinity let icons be bygones’.

Even though Linkin Park shunned labels, thrived on authenticity and embraced difference, funnily enough, the band which so dismissed the need for idolisation by way of their own uniqueness, made Chester an icon of kindness and inclusivity.

In the end, that’s all that really matters.

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RIP Chester.

You can speak to someone confidentially about your mental health and wellbeing by calling one of the following numbers: Samaritans – 116 123 , Childline – 0800 1111 (UK) / 1800 66 66 66 (ROI),  Teenline – 1800 833 634 (ROI).

If you have a story to tell, contact UNILAD via [email protected]

This content was originally published here.

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